Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/950463.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Draco_Malfoy/Harry_Potter
  Character:
      Harry_Potter, Draco_Malfoy, Sirius_Black, Remus_Lupin, Neville
      Longbottom, Ron_Weasley, Hermione_Granger, Blaise_Zabini, Pansy
      Parkinson, Vernon_Dursley, Petunia_Evans_Dursley
  Additional Tags:
      Rape, Rape/Non-con_Elements, Child_Abuse, Childhood_Sexual_Abuse, Anal
      Sex, Alternative_Universe_-_Neville_is_Boy-Who-Lived
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-09-01 Completed: 2013-10-19 Chapters: 9/9 Words: 20142
****** See the Unseen ******
by lifeless_bookworm
Summary
     Harry Potter is not the boy who lived. He has always been invisible.
     What happens when he catches the eye of Draco Malfoy? Draco is
     determined to figure out the mystery that is Harry Potter. In
     addition, he has recently been found by his godfather. How will Harry
     cope with all this attention?
Notes
     Hello Everyone! Before moving this story from fanfiction.net to here
     I rewrote it a bit and gave it a new name. On FF.net this is called
     "This is how I disappear". It is pretty much the same story I just
     fixed up some of the writing and added in some more explanation, as
     requested by reviewers. I will try to get it all rewritten and posted
     quickly.
     Happy Reading.
     xoxo Lifeless
     Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to the wonders that are JK
     Rowling's works of art.
See the end of the work for more notes
***** Who was that? *****
Chapter Summary
     Harry heads back to Hogwarts and gets noticed by multiple people who
     have never seen him before.
Harry Potter stopped next to the wall between platforms nine and ten at King’s
Cross Station in London. He casually glanced around to make sure that no one
was watching him. After taking a deep breath he walked straight through the
wall.
There were many things that made Harry Potter different from the other
travelers at the train station, but first and foremost was the fact that he was
a wizard. Harry was at King’s Cross to catch the train to Hogwarts School of
Witchcraft and Wizardry for his sixth year.
Harry passed through the other side of the wall and looked around the empty
platform. The train wouldn’t leave for another hour so the place was still
deserted. Harry hauled his trunk onto the last car on the train. He chose a
compartment near the back and sat down, leaving his trunk on the floor under
the window. He pulled his Potions book, some parchment, a quill and ink from
his trunk and sat back to start his first summer essay.
Harry’s uncle locked all of his school things away as soon as he arrived home
for the summer, meaning Harry could never complete his assignments until he got
on the train. It had become tradition to spend the train ride and generally the
entire first night back trying to finish all of the work he had been assigned
for the summer.
His aunt and uncle hated magic. They had been forced to take Harry in after his
parents had been killed by death eaters when he was 15 months old. They had
hoped to keep him from becoming a wizard but were unsuccessful. On Harry’s 11th
birthday Professor Vector from Hogwarts came, delivered his letter, and told
him of his heritage. She took him shopping for his school supplies and taught
him how to operate the Knight Bus so he could get to King’s Cross to catch the
train. His relatives were not happy but, in order to keep the ‘freaks’ from
returning, let him go to Hogwarts. Just shy of an hour later Harry was pulled
out of his essay by voices outside of his compartment.
“I cannot believe you made us late!” Draco Malfoy declared loudly as he stormed
down the corridor of the Hogwarts Express. “We are never going to find an empty
compartment now.”
“I’m sorry, Draco” His best friend, Blaise Zabini whined. “I didn’t know it
would take that long to buy one book.”
Blaise’s girlfriend, Pansy Parkinson snickered. “Come on, we will just kick
some underclassmen out of their compartment. Look there is only one kid in
here.”
Draco looked through the window. There was a small, dark haired boy sitting
alone. He had his feet pulled up in the seat, writing on a piece of parchment.
“Shall I tell him to leave?” Pansy asked with a sneer.
“No.” Draco said. “He doesn’t look like he will be a bother. We can share. It’s
not his fault we are late.” He threw another glare at Blaise.
“Really?” Blaise said skeptically. It wasn’t like Draco to be considerate to a
random underclassman, or share for that matter, and this kid didn’t look any
bigger than a third year.
Draco opened the compartment door and walked in. When the kid didn’t look up he
cleared his throat. The boy jumped and looked up nervously. Draco was taken by
his startling green eyes hidden behind hideous round, black glasses. There was
something off about them. They were full of pain and sadness and Draco was
determined to figure out why.
“Sorry. Someone made us late and everywhere else is occupied. Can we sit here?”
Draco asked. The boy stared at him for a second then nodded reluctantly.
“Great. I’m Draco Malfoy. This is Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson.” They put
their trunks away and sat down.
“So what’s your name kid?” Blaise asked.
“Harry Potter.” He muttered quietly. The train pulled away from the station and
Harry went back to his essay.
“So what year are you in Harry?” Pansy asked.
Harry looked up startled at being addressed again. “Sixth year, same as you.”
He stated looking back down at his parchment.
The three Slytherins stared at him. He was in their year? He certainly didn’t
look like a sixth year. How was it that they didn’t know who he was? Draco
studied him. He did look familiar. He was wearing the grey slacks and white
long sleeved button up of the school uniform, that were obviously too large for
him, but no tie or robes to place him in a house.
“What house are you in?” Blaise asked not caring as much for subtly. “And why
do I not know you?”
Harry sighed. “Don’t worry. No one knows me.” He said bitterly not looking up
from his essay. “I’m in Gryffindor.”
The Slytherins were shocked. They would not have pegged this kid to be a
Gryffindork. Harry glanced up when they didn’t say anything. The Slytherins
were studying him. He quickly looked back to his parchment.
Draco continued to watch Harry as Pansy and Blaise chatted. Harry was writing
quickly, only looking to check the Potions text lying on the seat beside him.
The boy was small, not just short but incredibly thin. He looked like he hadn’t
eaten a decent meal in ages. Even though he seemed to be completely focused on
his essay, Harry was tense. Every so often he would look up and glance around
for anything that might be a threat.
About two hours into the trip Harry finished his Potions essay. He closed his
text book and rolled up his parchment then sat up and stretched. He looked out
the window trying to gauge where they were which was almost impossible
considering the entire train ride was English countryside.
Draco looked up at him from the book he was reading. “Did you not do your
holiday homework?” Draco asked as Harry dug his transfiguration book out of his
trunk. “Snape’s going to kill you. He hates last minute assignments.” Draco
smirked.
“That’s why I did his first. I rush less in the beginning so I do them in order
of how strict the teacher is. Not that it really matters. Snape never gives me
a fair grade.” Harry mumbled.
“Wait a minute!” Blaise exclaimed. “You’re that kid that Snape picks on in
Potions.” Harry nodded.
Draco did recall many instances where his godfather had been unnecessarily
cruel to one of the Gryffindors in their class, but since it was a Gryffindor
Draco never paid much attention. “Why does he hate you so much?”
“I don’t really know.” Harry offered. “Apparently there was some bad blood
between him and my father but I never knew him so I’m not sure why it matters.”
Draco filed that information away for later.
“So why didn’t you do your homework?” Pansy asked curiously.
“Oh… Um… I was without my trunk over the holiday so I didn’t have a chance to
do it.” Harry stuttered.
“Why?” Draco inquired.
“It doesn’t matter.” Harry was saved from further questioning when the food
trolley came by. Harry bought a few sandwiches and some pastries. He hadn’t
eaten today, or yesterday for that matter and it was looking like it was going
to be a long night.
“How in the world are you so tiny? If I ate like that I would blow up like a
balloon.” Pansy groaned.
Harry blushed. “I… uh… I didn’t get breakfast this morning. And it’s not all
for now; I’m probably going to be up all night working on these essays.” Harry
realized that this very well may have been the most he had spoken to anyone at
Hogwarts, ever. He wasn’t sure why he was talking so freely to these people. He
took one sandwich and laid it on the seat while shoving the rest in his trunk
for that night. He ate the sandwich slowly so he wouldn’t get sick and read
through his transfiguration assignment.
Draco watched him as he started his next essay before turning back to Blaise
and Pansy. He found himself occasionally watching the smaller boy throughout
the rest of the train ride. There was just something about him that intrigued
Draco.
By the time the train pulled into Hogsmeade station Harry had finished his
Transfiguration essay and started on the one for Herbology. Although he had
made good progress, despite the interruptions from the Slytherins in his
compartment, it was still going to be a long night. He had four and a half
essay left to finish, although divination was a joke so he would save that for
last. This was one of the times he was glad that the Defense Against the Dark
Arts teachers never made it more than one year, it just meant there was one
less essay to write. It didn’t really matter that he would be kept up all night
working. He hardly slept the first week or two back anyway.
Harry and the Slytherins packed up their belongings and left the train. Harry
nodded to them as he walked off to find a carriage. He found one that was empty
soon to be joined by none other than the Golden Trio, Neville Longbottom, the
boy who lived, and his two best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.
Hermione greeted him as they sat down and the carriage took off. Harry gave her
a small smile. He wasn’t sure if she actually knew who he was but it was nice
to be acknowledged anyway. Harry looked up to see the castle come into view.
His smile became more genuine as he looked upon his home. He may not have
friends here but it was still a hell of a lot better than Privet Drive.
Although it didn’t take much to be better than Privet Drive. Here he got food,
a real bed, and time away from his uncle and his punishments. Harry shook away
those thoughts and hopped out of the carriage as it stopped in front of the
castle. As he left the Golden Trio behind he hear Ron ask “who was that?”
-:-
“Sirius, will you calm down!?” Remus Lupin said in exasperation to the man
sitting next to him who was bouncing in his seat.
“Remy! I’m going to see my godson for the first time in 15 years! Forgive me
for being excited!” Sirius Black replied as he resumed searching the great hall
for his godson.
Remus placed a hand on Sirius’ knee and pointed at the small, black haired teen
walking into the hall. “There he is.”
Sirius watched him walk to the Gryffindor table and sat in the corner by the
door to the entrance hall. He rubbed his moist eyes and said “Merlin Remus. He
looks just like James.”
“And he has Lily’s eyes.” Remus stated.
Sirius just stared at his godson. “He’s so small.”
“I know. He doesn’t seem to have grown much since I was here three years ago.
I’d hoped he just hadn’t hit his growth spurt yet but he seems to have missed
it all together.” Remus said sadly.
The students all took their seats and Professor McGonagall led the first years
into the hall. Harry pulled his Herbology essay out of his pocket and continued
writing. He didn’t notice that he was not the only one ignoring the sorting.
There were two pair of eyes watching him from the head table and one pair from
Slytherin. Harry didn’t look up until Dumbledore stood to give his speech.
“Welcome students, new and old, to another year at Hogwarts. I’d like to
introduce our new teachers. First I want to welcome back Professor Remus Lupin
who is going to be teaching an evening dueling class for the upper years. And
Professor Sirius Black will be taking over the Defense Against the Dark Arts
position.” Murmurs filled the hall. “Now I’m sure many of you remember three
years ago he escaped from Azkaban Prison. It turns out that he was completely
innocent. Peter Pettigrew was captured in the ministry last year proving
Professor Black’s innocence so no need to worry, I have not hired a mass
murderer to teach you defense.” There were a few chuckles and some more murmurs
among the students. “Now I am sure you are all hungry so tuck in.” Dumbledore
sat down and the food appeared on the table.
Harry picked up a drumstick from the platter in front of him and went back to
his essay, ignorant to the eyes still watching him. Dumbledore stood and gave
the annual warnings about the forest and magic in the corridors and sent them
off to bed.
***** Godfather *****
Chapter Summary
     Harry finds out he has a godfather and makes a new friend.
Harry wanted nothing more than to go up to his dorm and go to sleep but he
still had 4 essays to write. He went straight up to the sixth year dorm and
pulled out the materials he would need for his remaining essays placing them on
the bed. He climbed in and drew the curtains around him casting a silencing
spell that would keep his noise in and his dormmate’s noise out. He curled up
in his bed and pulled his charms book closer.
Harry awoke with a shuttered gasp. He sat up trembling surrounded by his books
and parchment. He had not meant to fall asleep but he had and now he was a
trembling mess and was never going to finish his essays in time.
He took deep breaths until he calmed down a little. He decided to get up and
take a shower then hopefully he would be calm enough to keep working. He
grabbed his toiletries and headed to the bathroom. Harry checked to make sure
the bathroom was empty even though who in their right minds would be up at 4:30
in the morning. He turned on the hot water until it was scalding and climbed
in. As he viciously scrubbed his damaged skin raw, he got swept up in the
memory from his nightmare.
“You fucking freak!” His uncle screamed, shoving Harry to the floor of Dudley’s
second bedroom. Vernon was angry that he had not completed his chores. Not that
it was Harry’s fault, he hadn’t eaten in two days and his uncle had taken his
frustrations from work out on him the night before. He was so weak and sore
that he couldn’t have possibly completed the entire list his aunt had given
him. Harry just stared at the floor while his uncle yelled.
“Are you even listening to me?!” Vernon yelled shoving Harry to the floor. “I
guess I’ll have to teach you another lesson then.” Vernon kicked him a few
times before pulling him up by his throat and throwing him on the small bed.
Harry shuddered as his uncle ripped his trousers off before letting his own
fall to the floor. Harry tensed and squeezed his eyes shut as his uncle
clambered on top of him. Vernon forced Harry’s body into the position he wanted
and mercilessly thrust into the small, trembling teen. Harry bit down on his
lip hard to keep from crying out as his uncle repeatedly rammed into him. He
just lay there, clutching the grimy sheets, trying to block out Vernon’s moans
and grunts of pleasure. He knew from experience that fighting back just made
everything a hundred times worse. Vernon finally finished and pulled out,
letting the blood and semen run down the boys thighs. Vernon stood up and
pulled up his pants looking at the boy curled on the bed in disgust. He spit on
the boy and left the room locking the door behind him. Harry pulled his knees
to his chest and waited for the darkness to take him.
Harry came out of the memory and proceeded to scrub harder. He knew no matter
how long he showered or how hard he scrubbed he would never get rid of the
dirty feeling his uncle had left him with. Finally when the water started to
run cold he left the shower, toweled off and got dressed.
Harry crept back into his dormitory and gathered the supplies he needed to
finish his last two essays then headed down to the common room. He curled up in
armchair near the fireplace, even though the fire had long since gone out. By
the time he finished his last essay it was nearly seven so he packed up and
headed to the Great Hall for breakfast.
Harry sat in his corner of the Gryffindor table and munched on a piece of
toast. He casually looked around watching the few people in the hall. There
were only a handful of students, mostly Ravenclaws, and most of the staff.
Harry looked up to the head table. Professor Snape was drinking his usual cup
of coffee and was glaring at Professor Lupin and the new teacher Professor
Black, who both happen to be staring at Harry. Harry and Black locked eyes for
a moment. Black had a strange look in his eyes. Was that hope? Harry wasn’t
sure but Professor Black smiled at him and Harry looked away.
As Harry looked away, he looked straight into the eyes of Draco Malfoy, who was
also watching him. Harry was startled by how beautiful Malfoy’s eyes were. They
were a deep grey, almost silver. Harry had to admit Malfoy was attractive. He
had striking features, and those gorgeous eyes. Malfoy gave him a nod and a
small smile before turning to Blaise.
Harry looked away and to his surprise the golden trio was sitting next to him.
He looked at them curiously and Hermione said “You’re Harry Potter, right?”
Harry nodded. “I’m Hermione and this is Ron and Neville.”
“I know” Harry replied quietly. He was saved from further conversation by
Professor McGonagall handed them their schedules. Harry took his and nodded to
the trio before leaving the hall to get the books he would need from his dorm.
-:-
After Harry left Neville said “So that’s Sirius’s godson?”
After the feast last night they had caught up with Sirius and Remus who had
told them about Sirius’s long lost godson. Well he wasn’t really lost, they
knew he went to Hogwarts but Sirius had been unable to find the address of
where he stayed over the summer so they had to wait to tell him until he got
back to school. Sirius was planning to tell him after his first defense class
this afternoon. Neville and his friends took it upon themselves to find out a
little more about this kid.
“Yes” Hermione said. “I wonder why we have never really talked to him before?”
“Well he’s almost never in the common room. He comes in just before curfew and
goes straight to bed and is always up and in the great hall before we get up,
from what I remember anyway. Hence, Ron not even knowing who he was last
night.” Neville explained.
Ron took a break from stuffing his face to say “Hey, it was dark!” Neville and
Hermione chuckled and went back to their breakfast.
-:-
The first day of classes passed normally for Harry. He sat quietly in the back
of his classes, taking notes and turning in his recently completed essays. A
few times, in their joint classes, Harry caught Draco Malfoy staring at him but
both would look away quickly when their eyes connected.
Things changed as Harry was packing up his things to leave Defense Against the
Dark Arts, his last class of the day. Professor Black asked him to stay after
so he sat back down nervously. He didn’t like to be alone with teachers; too
many bad things could happen when you were alone with an adult. Once everyone
else had left Professor Black walked over. He was smiling brightly but seemed a
little nervous.
“Harry, there is something I would like to talk to you about. Will you please
come to my office?” he asked. Harry froze. He most definitely would not go to
into that office.
Professor Black noticed and asked “Are you okay, Harry?” Harry was trembling
slightly.
“I… I’m fine. Um… Can we please… Can we just talk out here?” Harry asked.
Professor Black looked him confused. “Sure, kid. Let me just go grab Remus from
my office. He wants to be here for this.” He ran up the stairs and through the
door connecting his office to the classroom. He came back a minute later with
Professor Lupin in tow. Harry hadn’t moved.
Professor Black sat on the desk in front of Harry and Professor Lupin pulled up
a chair. “Harry, I don’t think you know this but I was to be good friends with
your parents, we both were.” Harry’s eyes shot up from the spot on the desk he
was staring at to Professor Black’s face.
“No.” he said quietly “I didn’t know that”
Black smiled. “Your father, Remus, and I were the best of friends. Your
parents, they named me your godfather.” Black paused and waited for a reaction
but Harry just stared at him in shock. “But the night they died I stupidly went
after Pettigrew because he sold them out to the Death Eaters and got sent to
Azkaban.” He continued. “I’m so sorry, Harry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for
you while you grew up. If you’ll give me the chance I would love to be there
for you now.”
Harry just sat there for a few seconds and then did the only thing he could
think of. He ran. He jumped up, grabbed his bag, and ran out of the office. He
ran and he didn’t stop until he was on the grounds by the lake where he
promptly collapsed on the ground. He sat there with his knees drawn to his
chest, arms wrapped around them tightly, trying to catch the breath he had lost
from panic and running.
-:-
Draco was walking through the entrance hall headed back to the Slytherin common
room when a small black haired figure ran past him. Realizing it was Harry, he
followed him out onto the grounds. He watched as Harry sat down next to the
lake.
Draco quietly walked up behind Harry’s shaking form. He laid a hand on the
boy’s shoulder causing him to flinch. “Sorry.” Draco said sitting down on the
ground next to Harry. “I didn’t mean to startle you. You ran past me and I
wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Harry looked up at him. “I’m fine.” He said, looking back to the lake.
“You don’t seem fine.” Draco replied.
Harry sighed. “I… um… I just got some… uh… shocking news is all.” He wasn’t
sure what it was about Draco that made him want to talk, open up, even if it
was just a little.
“Is everything alright?” Draco asked worriedly.
Harry chuckled darkly. Nothing in his life had ever been alright. “Yeah.
Apparently I have a godfather I didn’t know about.”
“Really? Who?” Draco wasn’t sure why this would cause such a reaction from the
boy.
“Professor Black”
“Oh. Why did that make you so upset? If you don’t mind me asking.” Draco asked
before he could stop himself.
“It’s not that it is a bad thing.” Harry said slowly. “It even could prove to
be a good thing. ‘I want to be there for you’ he said. No one has ever wanted
me.” Harry stopped realizing what he had said. “I’m sorry. You don’t want to
hear me whine. Thank you for checking on me but I’ll be fine.”
“Hey, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know.” Draco smiled.
“Why do you even care?” Harry asked suspiciously.
“Honestly? I don’t know.” Draco confessed. “I want to be your friend and with
my father in Azkaban I can actually choose my own friends for once.”
“Why would you choose me?” Harry didn’t understand why all of sudden, after a
lifetime of being invisible to everyone except those that wanted to hurt him,
were people acting like they wanted him.
“Why not? You interest me, Harry. There is something about you that makes me
want to know more. I don’t know how I never noticed you before. So what do you
say? Will you give friendship a try? I won’t force you.” Harry looked at Draco
with confusion in his eyes. He considered the offer.
“Okay.” He said hesitantly. “I’m not sure why you would want to waste your time
on someone like me but it could be nice to have a friend, I guess.”
Draco smiled. He was going to have to help Harry with his self-esteem that was
for sure. This kid honestly thought he wasn’t good enough to be cared about and
that troubled Draco.
“Well what do you say we head to dinner?” Draco said standing up. He reached
out a hand to help Harry to his feet. Harry flinched back slightly but slowly
took it and allowed Draco to pull him to his feet. Draco noticed again how
small Harry was. It had taken next to no effort to pull Harry up. They walked
quietly to the Great Hall and then went to their proper tables. Harry spent the
meal thinking about his conversation with Draco and trying to ignore the stares
his godfather was giving him.
***** Friendship *****
Chapter Summary
     Harry allows himself to build some relationships.
Harry woke with a start after another night of being tormented by memories of
the summer. Giving up on sleep Harry went through his morning ritual of a
scalding hot shower then setting down in an armchair in the common room to
read. Today was the first Potions class of the year and he was not looking
forward to it. He spent the early hours of the morning reading the first few
chapters of his new Potions book in preparation.
In theory Harry was very good at Potions. He was an excellent cook from all his
years of training at the Dursley’s but Professor Snape made him very nervous.
He was constantly berating him and quietly popping up behind him while he was
trying to work. This caused his shaking hands to make mistakes and ruin the
potions.
Harry read until the other students began to stumble, sleepy-eyed, into the
common room. He packed up his bag and headed down to the Great Hall for
breakfast. He sat in his corner of the Gryffindor table, eating his standard
piece of toast, and continued reading for class. As he read two teachers
watched him from the head table.
“Why did he run away from me, Remus?” Sirius asked, staring longingly at his
godson.
“Sirius, you have to give him time.” Remus told him. “You just kind of sprang
all this on him. It’s a lot to take in. Especially for someone like Harry who
doesn’t let anyone in. Give him a week and if he doesn’t come to you try and
approach him again. But I do suggest that you stop staring at him every time
you are in the same room. You are probably creeping him out.” Remus chuckled as
Sirius blushed and looked down at his plate.
-:-
Harry walked into the Potions classroom and sat at his usual table in the back.
There were an odd number of students in the class so he always worked alone.
That was until today. Draco walked into the classroom and sat in the empty seat
next to him. Harry looked up confused.
“Today” Draco said. “I am going to help you out. Blaise will be fine on his
own. Since Professor Snape doesn’t seem to like you, we’ll see if his love for
me will even that out.” Draco smirked.
Snape burst into the room, as he always did, making Harry jump. You would think
that after 6 years he would be used to it. Snape threw a glare at Harry and
began his lecture. He had them start brewing a mild healing potion before
starting his rounds.
Draco went and got their ingredients and gave them to Harry to prepare while he
set up the cauldron.
“Potter” Snape barked. “The board says to dice the Asphodel root, not maim it.”
Harry looked down at his root that was cut into perfect cubes, then up at
Snape. He flinched back from his professor’s glare and looked back down to his
table. He knew there was nothing wrong with his root and Snape was just being
an arse. Snape walked away and Harry pushed his root over to Draco before
moving on to the next ingredient without a word.
Class continued this way. Every time Snape would look their way he would
criticize what Harry was doing. When class was finally over Harry quickly
packed up his things and said a quiet goodbye to Draco before fleeing from the
room.
Draco waited until everyone left the classroom before approaching his
godfather.
“Do you need something Draco?” Snape asked.
“Yes. Why in the world are you so awful to Harry?” Draco asked. “You know as
well I do that all of his ingredients were perfectly prepared.”
“He’s an arrogant little brat, just like his father was.” Snape spat.
“Really? I may not know his father but I know Harry is far from arrogant. From
the few conversations I’ve been able to squeeze from the kid I am actually
quite worried about how little he thinks of himself.” Draco said glaring at his
godfather.
Snape studied him. “Why do you care, Draco?”
“I don’t know.” Draco said quietly. “He rode in our compartment on the train
and I’ve talked to him a few times since we got back and there is just
something about him, Severus. Something different and I want to know what it
is.” Draco sighed. “I’m not asking you to be nice or like him or anything, just
back off a little. Stop making up reasons to belittle him. He was nothing but a
pile of nerves by the time he left here. He’s already really jumpy. I’m not
sure he’ll make it another semester with you.” Draco chuckled.
“Fine, Draco. I will attempt to hold my tongue, for you. Now, how are you doing
after this whole fiasco with your father?” Snape asked.
“I’m alright. I’m quite glad he’s gone actually. It’s nice to not be forced
into his footsteps, to get to be myself for once. I did a lot of thinking this
summer and I realized that I never wanted to be the person he raised me to be.
Now that mother has gotten us under Dumbledore’s protection, I don’t have to
pretend to be that person anymore.”
“I’m proud of you, Draco, for not following in your father’s mistakes.” Snape
said. “Now go, I have work to do.”
Draco left the dungeons and headed up to the library. He already had a
transfiguration essay due next week and figured he might as well get a head
start. As he walked through the stacks looking for helpful books he came across
a large book hiding a person with messy black hair sitting in an armchair at a
table in the corner.
He walked up to the table and said “So this is where you’ve been hiding for the
last five years?”
Harry looked up from behind his book. “Yeah, I guess I spend a lot of time
here.” He gave Draco a small smile. “What are you doing here?”
Draco held up his transfiguration book. “McGonagall has already given us
homework. Mind if I join you?”
Harry nodded and gestured to the other chair at the table before turning back
to his book. They worked in a comfortable silence for a while before Draco
asked “Have you spoken to Professor Black yet?” Harry shook his head. “I think
you should give him a chance. He seems like a nice guy.”
“I know” Harry said quietly. “I’m just not sure. I mean, how do I know if I can
trust him?”
“Well, you don’t. But that’s the thing about new relationships; you don’t have
to trust him all at once. Just take some time and get to know each other. You
owe it to yourself to give him a chance. The best things don’t come without a
little risk.” Draco answered.
“I’ll think about it. Thank you Draco.”
They went back to studying. Occasionally Draco would start a conversation about
whatever popped into his head as he worked. He found that once he got Harry
talking the shy boy provided great conversation. He was smart, caring, and had
a unique outlook on the world. It was a bit dark but Draco was under the
impression that Harry had had a bit of a rough past.
When Draco asked about his family the boy got shy again. All he got out of
Harry was that his parents had been killed by death eaters during the first war
and he lived with his muggle aunt and her family. Harry closed off a bit more
after that question. They worked until dinner then parted in the Great Hall to
go to their proper tables.
-:-
Over the next week Draco joined Harry frequently in the library. They chatted
and did homework. Draco told Harry about his father and his childhood, and
Harry confided in him about how his relatives didn’t like him and his
insecurities about his godfather. Finally Harry decided that he would give the
man a chance. He could hardly be worse than Uncle Vernon, so what did he have
to lose?
After Defense Against the Dark Arts the following Monday, Harry stayed seated
while everyone else left. They had been having a practical lesson so Professor
Black was currently cleaning up the mats and pillows that covered the floor. He
looked up to see Harry sitting there and smiled.
He walked over and asked “Did you need something, Harry?”
“Yeah… Um… I… Um… wanted to t-talk to you about the whole g-godfather thing.”
Harry stuttered quietly.
His godfather’s smile brightened. “Really?” he asked. “Why don’t you come up to
my office then and we can talk.”
“N-No.. um… can-can’t we just talk here?” Harry begged.
Sirius glanced at him curiously but just pulled up a chair and sat in it
backwards. “Sure. Whatever you want, pup. So what did you want to talk about?”
“Well I… um… I want to give it a try. I mean… get to know you I guess.” Harry
said nervously.
“Alright. Well how about this, why don’t we have dinner together tomorrow
night, just you and me? I can answer any questions you have and you can tell me
about yourself and then we can go from there.” Sirius suggested.
“Okay Professor. I guess that would be alright.” Harry said shyly.
“Perfect! Why don’t you just meet me here at five tomorrow?” Harry nodded and
stood up to leave. “Oh and Harry, call me Sirius.”
“Okay, Sirius. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Harry said before practically
running from the room. Once Harry was gone Sirius bounced off to tell Remus.
Harry went up to his corner of the library and was surprised to find Draco
sitting there. Draco smiled as Harry walked up. “I thought you might not be
coming today.” He said.
“Oh” Harry said quietly. “I can leave.” He turned to leave.
“No! I came here to work with you but you weren’t here.” Draco said. He had
worked with Harry in the library almost every day this week but Harry still
didn’t understand that Draco wanted to actually spend time with him.
“Oh,” Harry sat down in his chair. “I was… um… talking to Professor Black.” He
said pulling out his books.
“Really? How’d it go?” Draco asked.
“We are having dinner tomorrow.” Harry replied.
“That’s great!” Draco smiled. “It’s nice to have someone at the school to go
to. Professor Snape is my godfather actually. When I’m having problem or just
need to get away I’m always able to go to his rooms. We also try to have dinner
together at least once a month.”
“That must be nice” Harry said longingly.
-:-
The next night Harry stood outside the Defense classroom at five till five. He
took a deep breath and walked into the room. Sirius was sitting at his desk
talking to Professor Lupin who was sitting on the desk. When they saw him enter
Sirius’s face brightened and Lupin hopped off the desk.
“Hello Harry” Professor Lupin said smiling.
“Hello Sir.” Harry said quietly.
“Oh none of this sir stuff, in private you can call me Remus.” He said gently.
“Yes Sir, uh Remus.” Harry corrected.
“Alright, I will let you guys get to your dinner. Have fun and don’t let him
have too much sugar.” Remus said with a chuckle.
“Says the man with the chocolate addiction.” Sirius said. Remus laughed louder
and left the room. “Ready to go kid?”
“W-where are we going?” Harry asked nervously.
“To the kitchens, of course!” Sirius said enthusiastically. He led Harry
through the corridors asking about his classes and such as they walked. They
stopped in front of a portrait of a bowl of fruit. Sirius reached out and
tickled the pear and the portrait swung open. As soon as they entered the
kitchens they were mobbed by a group of house elves.
“Welcome to the Hogwarts kitchens!” Sirius exclaimed. “Can we have a table and
food for two?” he asked the house elves.
“Yes sirs. Right this way, sirs.” An elf said leading them to a table in the
corner. Soon the table was over flowing with food and Sirius started to pile
his plate high with a little of everything. Harry waited until Sirius had
stopped filling his plate and started shoveling the food in his mouth before
taking a small portion of chicken, some mashed potatoes, and green beans.
“So tell me about yourself, Harry.” Sirius said once he swallowed his first
round of food.
“L-Like what?” Harry asked having no idea what the man could possibly want to
know about him.
“Anything. Everything! I’ve missed out on your entire life. I want to know you.
What do you like to do? What is your favorite color? What subjects do you like?
What were you like as a child?”
“Oh… um… well I like to read. I spend a lot of time in the library. I like
Defense and Charms the most. I’m terrible in Potions but that is mostly because
Snape makes me nervous and I screw up. I don’t think I have a favorite color.”
Harry answered avoiding the question about his childhood. How was he supposed
to tell this man that he was just a freak and a disappointment? He didn’t want
to ruin things already.
Sirius realized that Harry was not just going to offer up any other information
so he tried to change his tactic. “Alright, do you have any questions?” He
asked with a smile.
“Ca-can you tell me about my parents?” Harry asked hesitantly.
“Of course, what do you want to know?”
“Everything.” He whispered.
“Well what did your relatives tell you?”
“Just that they were drunken freaks that got themselves killed in a car
accident.” Harry realized what he had said when he saw the shocked look on
Sirius’s face and quickly continued. “I know it’s not true now though.”
“Your parents were great people Harry…” The rest of the meal was filled with
stories from Sirius about his Hogwarts days with James Potter and some from
when Harry was a baby. Harry walked back to the Gryffindor tower with a genuine
smile on his face. He liked Sirius and hoped he would get to talk with him
again soon.
***** Christmas *****
Chapter Summary
     The students are told they all must go home for the holidays.
Over the next few months Harry got closer with both Sirius and Draco. He also
got to know Remus quite well. He had weekly dinners with Sirius, that Remus
often attended them as well. Draco spent most afternoons in the library with
Harry and would occasionally convince Harry to leave his sanctuary to take
walks through the grounds or around the castle. Harry even joined him with
Blaise and Pansy a few times.
One day in late November Harry was sitting alone in the library, Draco was
spending time with Blaise, when Hermione came over and sat a pile of books on
his table. Harry looked up at her and she smiled. “Do you mind?” she asked
gesturing to the other chair.
“Go ahead.” He assured her. She sat down and opened a book. They read quietly
for a while before Harry asked curiously, “Where are your friends?”
Hermione looked up. “Oh, Neville is in a private meeting with the headmaster
and Ron is not really one for the library.” Harry nodded understanding. “How
are things going with Sirius?” Harry looked at her in confusion so Hermione
explained. “We, Neville, Ron, and I, know him from the whole fiasco when he
escaped in third year. It turned out that Peter Pettigrew had been masquerading
as Ron’s rat. When Pettigrew escaped and Sirius got recaptured we kind of
helped him escape again.” She smiled at the memory. “Anyway, we kept in touch
with him and when he got the teaching position here he told us about you.”
“Oh,” Harry said. He hadn’t known any of that. “Things are good, I guess. We
have dinner, and we talk. It’s nice.” Harry smiled to himself.
Before Hermione could answer Draco walked up to the table. “Hey Harry” He
smiled before looking at Hermione. “Hello Granger” he said politely. He
summoned a chair from a nearby table and sat down pulling a book out of his
bag.
“Hello Malfoy.” Hermione replied. She had seen him sitting with Harry a lot
this year and wasn’t sure what was going on there but Malfoy hadn’t started any
trouble with them this year either so she just accepted it. Ron was sure that
Malfoy was up to something but had left it alone for the most part. She knew
Malfoy’s father had been sentences to life in Azkaban so she figure that
probably had something to do with his change in attitude.
The three of them studied quietly together. Hermione listened to them converse
quietly from time to time. Harry even tried to bring her into the
conversations. Harry would read something that interested him and quietly place
a hand on Draco’s arm and share it with him. She saw the way Draco lit up when
Harry touched him. There was definitely something going on there.
Neville came in to get Hermione when he was finished with his meeting. She left
with him and Draco asked Harry to take a walk with him. Harry agreed and they
headed out to the lake.
Draco was oddly silent as they walked around the lake. “Draco?” Harry asked
looking up at him. “Is everything alright?”
Draco stopped walking. He smiled at Harry and said, “Yes, everything is fine.
It’s just there’s something I want to tell you, but I’m not sure how to do it.”
Harry shifted nervously. He had no idea where Draco was going with this.
“Harry, I like you.”
Harry was confused. “I like you too, Draco.” He said hesitantly.
“No Harry, I mean, I think I really like you. Like as more than a friend. I’ve
been thinking about it a lot lately, and I would like to be your boyfriend. If
you want to be that is. If not, that’s fine we can just stay the way we are.
I’ll understand.” Draco looked at Harry, who was just staring at him. “Harry?”
he asked nervously.
“I-I th-think, I would l-like that too.” Harry stuttered quietly, looking down
at the ground with a faint blush on his cheeks.
“Really? Are you sure?” Draco asked.
“Y-yeah. I’ve thought about it too. But I didn’t think you could ever want to
be with someone like me…” Harry trailed off.
“Harry” Draco sighed. “There is nothing wrong with you.” He took one of Harry’s
hands in his own and the dark haired boy looked up. “We’ve talked about this. I
don’t know who has drilled the idea that you are not worthy into your head but
they are wrong. You are wonderful. You are caring, and smart, and beautiful and
I love spending time with you.” Harry looked away again but this time Draco put
a gentle finger under his chin lifting his face so that their eyes met. Draco
leaned in and placed a quick chaste kiss on Harry’s lips. He took Harry’s hand
again and said “Now how about we finish our walk?” Harry smiled up at him and
they finished walking around the perimeter of the lake with their hands
clasped, then headed to the Great Hall for dinner.
As everyone was finishing up dinner Dumbledore stood up to make an
announcement. “Every fifty years the Hogwarts wards have to be restored. This
means that this year all students will be required to return home for the
holiday break. We have already notified your guardians.”
The smile that had been on Harry’s face since his talk with Draco immediately
fell off. He was going to have to return to Privet Drive. No, this couldn’t be
happening, not when things were just looking up. He hadn’t had a nightmare in
almost a week and he was almost able to eat normal portions at each meal. He
had been looking forward to spending the holidays with Sirius and Remus. That
was it! Maybe Sirius would let him stay with him instead of going back to the
Dursley’s. He would ask after dinner.
Draco spent most of dinner watching Harry. The boy had that shy smile on his
face that Draco loved so much. As soon as Dumbledore gave his announcement that
smile dropped. When they were dismissed Harry jumped up and practically ran out
of the room. Draco got up and followed him quickly. He knew that Harry’s home
life wasn’t the greatest. He was certain that those people were the reason
Harry thought so little of himself.
Harry was headed up the stairs when Draco caught up to him. He laid a hand on
the boy’s shoulder causing him to tense. Harry looked back at him. “Are you
alright?” Draco asked.
“Y-yeah. I-I just need to go see S-Sirius.” Harry said pulling away.
“Alright,” Draco smiled. “Let’s go.” He took Harry’s hand and headed up the
stairs.
They entered the classroom and Harry ran up to the office door. He knocked
quietly and heard Sirius say “Come in.” Harry opened the door but didn’t enter.
“S-Sirius” Harry asked “Can I talk to you?”
Sirius, seeing who it was, got up and headed into the classroom. For the life
of him he couldn’t figure out why Harry would not come into his office. But he
hadn’t found the opportunity to ask him about it.
“What is it, pup?” Sirius asked following Harry over to the student’s desks.
“Sirius? Um… I was… um… wondering if… um… if there was any way that… um… that I
could stay with you for Christmas? Instead of going h-home.” Harry stumbled
nervously.
Sirius’s face lit up but fell quickly. “Oh Harry, I wish you could.” He said
sadly. “But I have to be here to help restore the wards and students can’t be
here while they are down.”
“Oh” Harry said dejectedly. “Okay. Th-that’s fine. I understand.” Harry turned
to leave.
“Honestly Harry, I would love for you to stay with me. I want nothing more than
to have Christmas with you at my place but it’s out of my hands, kiddo.” Sirius
pulled him into a tight hug. Harry tensed but returned the hug.
“It’s okay. It’ll be fine. I just wanted to see if it was an option. I’ll see
you later, Sirius.” Harry said pulling away. Harry walked over to Draco and
unconsciously took his hand.
As he started to pull Draco from the room Sirius said, “Hey! Are you two
finally together?” Both boys looked at him. Harry blushed and nodded shyly,
biting his lower lip. “About damn time” Sirius laughed. “I have been watching
you make goo-goo eyes at each other for weeks.” He looked at Draco. “Look kid,
you just better not hurt my godson.”
Draco smiled and said “I won’t, sir.”
Over the weeks leading up to Christmas break Draco noticed Harry becoming more
withdrawn and jumpy. Draco would often catch him sitting with his book in his
lap just staring at the pages, but not reading. Over the past few months Harry
had calmed down considerably. He no longer flinched back every time Draco
touched him although it still happened from time to time. Draco was starting to
worry Harry’s home life but every time he tried to bring it up Harry just shut
him out.
Draco walked into the library a few days before they were supposed to go home
from break. Harry was once again staring off into space with a book in his lap.
The dark haired boy didn’t even notice him approach.
“Harry?” Draco called slowly. He sat down and placed a hand on Harry’s knee.
Harry snapped back to reality and looked at Draco startled. “Harry? Are you
alright?”
“Huh? Oh yeah I’m fine, Draco. Just thinking.” Harry said distractedly.
“You’ve been doing that a lot lately. What’s on your mind?” Draco asked.
Harry watched him for a minute. “I don’t want to go home. I hate it there.”
Draco leaned over and kissed Harry on the forehead. “I wish you could come and
stay with us but since we are stuck in one of Dumbledore’s safe houses I’m not
allowed to bring you with me. I asked but Dumbledore said no. You never talk
about home. How bad is it? What makes you hate it so much?”
Harry let out a slow breath. “I’m just so alone there, all the time. They hate
me. The only time they even acknowledge me is when they are ordering me to do
chores or yelling at me for screwing up. I’ve always been alone. But you have
given me a taste of what it’s like to have someone and that makes it that much
harder to go back.”
“Oh Harry.” Draco pulled the smaller boy into a hug. “You will always have me.
Everything will be okay. It’s just two weeks and then we will be back together.
I won’t abandon you.”
“I’m sorry.” Harry said. “I’m just being stupid.”
“No Harry, it’s not stupid. I’m glad you told me. I’ve been worried about you.
Please know that I will always be here to listen. Talk to me when something is
bothering you. No matter what it is I won’t leave you.” Draco leaned in and
kissed him. After a few moments they pulled away and went back to their
homework, still sitting close.
-:-
All too soon it was time to leave for the holidays. Sirius met Harry in the
entrance hall to say goodbye. He gave Harry his Christmas present and told him
not to open it until Christmas day, even though it was obviously a book. Then
he pulled him into a tight embrace and whispered that he would see him in two
weeks.
Harry and Draco sat in a compartment with Pansy and Blaise, like before, but
this time Harry was curled up against Draco’s side and the blonde boy had his
arm around his shoulders. Harry, over the weeks they had been dating, had found
that he loved this contact. He had always been afraid of physical contact
before but now he found himself craving what he had missed all these years.
Draco was talking with Blaise and Pansy while Harry read. He smiled as he felt
Harry snuggle closer to him. He tightened his arm around the boy and placed a
kiss in his messy black hair. It didn’t take long for Harry to fall asleep.
“So Draco?” Blaise asked. “How are things going with you two?”
“Good, I think.” Draco responded looking down at Harry. “He’s still really
timid about everything. I’m taking it slowly. I don’t want to scare him off.”
Harry woke up just as the train was pulling into the station. For a brief
moment forgot his terror about going home and just reveled in the comfort in
waking up in Draco’s arms. Then he realized they had arrived and he was going
to have to see his uncle again. Harry shuddered and sat up. Draco smiled at
him.
“Sorry I fell asleep on you.” He said quietly.
“It’s okay” Draco replied. “I enjoyed it.” Draco took one of Harry’s shaking
hands and said “It’ll be alright, Harry.”
Harry gave him a small smile and followed Draco off the train. Draco led him to
a beautiful blonde woman. She pulled Draco into a tight embrace. “You must be
Harry.” She said smiling and gave him a hug too.
“Yes Ma’am” He said quietly.
“Oh now, none of that, call me Narcissa.” She chastised.
“I should go.” Harry said looking at Draco. “I don’t want to keep my uncle
waiting.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” Draco asked. “I could walk you through the
barrier.”
“No, that’s okay. I’ll be fine. You don’t need to do that.” Harry said.
Draco looked at him skeptically but nodded and said “If you’re sure?” When
Harry nodded Draco pulled him close and kissed him. “Alright, I’ll see you in
two weeks. I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.” Harry whispered as he hugged Draco close. Then he grabbed
his trunk, said goodbye to Narcissa and walked away. Draco watched him until he
disappeared through the barrier.
“He’s adorable.” Narcissa said smiling at her son. “But he’s so tiny.”
Draco sighed. “I know. Let’s go mother.” She took his hand and disapparated.
-:-
Harry silently approached his seething uncle. “You’re late boy!” The man spat
before storming off to the car leaving his nephew to follow. The entire ride
back to Privet Drive Vernon ranted about how much time and money he wasted
picking Harry up. Harry tried to block it out, choosing to think about Draco
instead.
They pulled into the driveway and his uncle once again left him behind, not
that he minded. Harry struggled to get his trunk out of the boot and into the
house. As soon as he got inside his uncle took his trunk and shoved it in the
cupboard under the stairs. Harry was ordered into the kitchen to make dinner
and then sent upstairs without eating.
Harry sat in his room wondering what Draco was doing now when he heard his aunt
and cousin leave for the cinema. Harry shuddered. He knew what was coming next.
Sure enough a few minutes later he heard his uncle pound up the stairs. He
walked in the room and looked at Harry in disgust.
“Well boy, since I’m not going to be able to beat you as much as you deserve
because those freaks will notice I will just have to teach you your lessons the
other way.” He said with a disturbing smile.
He yanked Harry up from where he was sitting on the floor and threw him onto
the bed. Vernon forced Harry onto his stomach. “I missed you, Freak.” He said
as he slammed into the small boy. Harry bit back a scream as his large uncle
viciously pounded into him. When Vernon was finally finished he threw Harry to
the floor again and kicked him in the ribs a few times before leaving the room
and locking it behind him.
This is how the rest of Harry’s break went. His uncle would get Petunia and
Dudley out of the house for a few hours and would head up to Harry’s room. He
would knock him around a bit, not nearly as much as he got to during the
summer, of course, because he wouldn’t have time to heal enough before going
back, and then he would throw Harry on the bed and rape him. If he could not
get his wife and son out of the house then he would make Harry pleasure him in
other, quieter, ways.
Harry spent most of his time trying not to think of how disgusted Draco would
be if he knew what Harry let his uncle do to him. On Christmas morning Harry
woke up extremely sore. His uncle had given him a brutal ‘Christmas present’
last night so that he wouldn’t have to see the freak on Christmas day. Harry
look to his barred window where he was surprised to see and owl sitting on the
window seal holding a package. He limped over to relieve the owl of its burden
and was thankful that the package was small enough to fit through the bars.
Harry opened it to find a journal, a ready-ink quill, and a note.
Harry,
Happy Christmas! This is a two-way journal that I found in a shop in Diagon
Alley. It will allow us to communicate without having to use owls. All you have
to do is write in it and the same message will appear in mine. I thought this
may help with the loneliness, as well as give me the wonderful opportunity to
talk to you whenever I want. How are things going with your relatives? Write me
back when you get this. Have a good Christmas. I miss you.
Draco
Harry smiled and sat down on the floor in a corner leaning against the wall.
His room had no furniture besides the bed, which he avoided being on if he
could help it. He took the quill and journal and began to write Draco back.
Draco,
Thank you so much for this. It’s wonderful. I love it. I’m sorry I haven’t
gotten you anything yet but I promise to get you something the next time I get
to a store. How is your holiday going? Things here are the same as they always
are but being able to write to you will help and distract me. I miss you too.
Harry
-:-
Draco was sitting in the living room with his mother and godfather opening
presents when the journal sitting next to him glowed. He immediately dropped
the book he had been unwrapping and picked it up. He read Harry’s response and
jumped up to find a quill. He returned to the couch quill in hand and wrote him
back. When he was finished he saw that both adults were watching him curiously.
“I gave Harry a two-way journal for Christmas.” He explained.
“And how is Mr. Potter?” Snape asked.
“He seems alright.” Draco said worriedly. “He was quite upset when he found out
all students had to go home for the holidays.”
“Why is that? Is he not spoiled enough there?” Snape spat.
“Severus! How many times do I have to tell you that he is not his father?! From
the little bit Harry has told me about his relatives, they treat him like
dirt.” Draco said angrily.
“Boys, can we not do this on Christmas?” Narcissa intervened. “Come on, Draco
finish opening your presents.” Draco did as commanded.
He spent the rest of the day enjoying time with his mother and godfather and
writing Harry back. Some of the things that Harry let slip in his messages were
worrying Draco. Apparently his relatives had locked him in his room so that
they wouldn’t have to deal with him on Christmas. Harry didn’t seem too
troubled by this but it bothered Draco greatly. He didn’t understand how they
could just hide Harry away on Christmas. His father may have been distant and
unloving but he mostly just ignored Draco. He didn’t force his son out of site.
After Christmas day Harry wrote less often and only at strange hours. He said
that he was busy with chores so he didn’t have time to himself to write.
Needless to say by the time the holidays were over Draco was ready to see his
boyfriend and make sure he was okay.
Draco hugged his mother goodbye and hurried onto the train. He found Harry in
an empty compartment. He was sitting in a similar pose to how he had been when
they had first met, except this time his head was resting on his knees.
When Draco opened the door to the compartment Harry’s head shot up. For a
moment he looked terrified but when he realized it was Draco he jumped up to
greet the blonde boy. Draco pulled the smaller boy into a tight hug, noticing
how Harry flinched once again. He also noticed that Harry had lost any weight
he had put on over the semester. This affirmed his suspicions that something
was not right in Harry’s home. He would have to figure that out later, Harry
was safe with him for now.
He cupped Harry’s face and kissed him passionately. At first Harry didn’t
react, like he’d forgotten what to do, but then he returned it just as
passionately.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, you missed each other.” Blaise said entering the compartment
with Pansy in tow. “Get a room.” He laughed.
Harry pulled away blushing and Draco retorted “Well, we had a room and you came
in.” Draco sat down pulling Harry down next to him. Harry tensed a bit before
melting into the warmth of Draco’s side.
The Slytherins chatted about their holidays, trying to get Harry to join in but
he opted to read the book Sirius had gotten him, Defensive Charms. It wasn’t
long before Harry’s body forced him to reclaim some of the sleep he had lost
over the past two weeks now that he was in a safe environment once again.
Unfortunately the safety of Draco’s arms did not keep away the nightmares this
time.
Harry shot up with a stifled scream causing Draco to look at him worriedly.
“Are you alright, Harry?” He asked.
“Y-yes I-I’m f-fine. J-just a n-nightmare.” Harry stuttered, trying to calm his
breathing. Draco began to rub calming circles on his back, causing Harry to
flinch and Draco to realize that he could feel every bone in his back.
“Want to tell me about it?” Draco offered.
“No. I’m fine.” Harry restated. He leaned back against the seat, scooting away
from Draco a bit and pulled his feet up in it.
“Alright. Here,” Draco said handing Harry a couple of sandwiches. “The trolley
came while you were asleep. I didn’t want you to miss out.” Harry gave him a
small smile and thanked him taking a bite out of one of the sandwiches. As
hungry as he was, Harry was only able to eat half of one of the sandwiches so
he put the rest in his trunk. The rest of the ride Harry sat back contently,
listening to Draco chat with his friends.
***** Truth *****
Chapter Summary
     Draco moves a bit too fast and Harry has a flashback.
It took Harry over a month for his comfort level to get back to where it had
been before Christmas. Draco noticed the regression but didn’t mention it.
Luckily, Harry was comfortable with Draco again by Valentine’s Day. It was a
Hogsmeade weekend and Draco had convinced Harry to go on a real date with him.
Harry had never been to Hogsmeade because his relatives would not sign the
form. But with Sirius here he had been more than willing to sign it. He even
took it to Dumbledore himself.
They walked through the town, holding hands and talking. Every once and a while
Draco would lean over and steal a kiss causing Harry to blush. Draco took Harry
to all of his favorite shops. Harry made up for his missed Christmas present by
buying Draco a jade necklace, the color of Harry’s eyes, shaped like a dragon.
By the time they were walking back up to the castle Harry was leaning tiredly
on Draco’s shoulder smiling to himself. Draco was walking him up to the
Gryffindor tower when Harry stopped abruptly. Draco looked back at him.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“Nothing” Harry smiled at him. “Thank you, for today. It was wonderful.” Harry
took a step closer to Draco and kissed him. Draco kissed him back deeply.
Draco pulled Harry into an empty classroom nearby. He gently pushed Harry
against the wall and resumed kissing him. Draco’s hand slowly slipped from
being tangled in Harry’s hair down his back and then to his waistband. Harry
froze but Draco didn’t notice. As his hand slipped under the waistband he heard
Harry whimper. Draco stopped and looked at him. Harry’s eyes were shut tightly
and he was trembling. Draco took a step back unsure of what to do and Harry
slid down to the floor and pulled his knees to his chest wrapping his arms
around them tightly.
Harry was sitting curled up in his cupboard. Uncle Vernon still wasn’t home.
That could only mean that he went to the pub. Harry hated when he went to the
pub. Harry jumped when he heard the front door open and he tried to make his
ball smaller. He heard his uncle stumble in and his cupboard unlock. Uncle
Vernon reached in and pulled Harry out by his hair.
Vernon drug Harry down the basement steps and shoved him into the wall. He
attempted to undo Harry’s pants but couldn’t in his drunken state so he just
slipped his hand in and pulled them down with little problem they were way to
big anyway. Harry stood shaking as his uncle fumbled with his own trousers.
“Undo mine.” The drunken man barked when he couldn’t get them undone. Harry
reached forward and undid his uncle pants with trembling fingers. Once the
button was undone, Vernon pushed Harry to the floor and let his pants drop
around his ankles.
Vernon picked his nephew up by his hair and threw him onto a table. Harry lay
there trembling as his uncle positioned him roughly, his thin legs dangling off
the edge of the table. Vernon stood behind him and drove his cock into the
child’s tight passage. The large man tore into Harry’s tiny body for what felt
like hours. Finally, Vernon finished, filling the small boy with his seed
before pulling out.
Vernon pushed the child off the table causing him to land in a heap on the
floor. He pulled up his boxers and trousers, kicking Harry a few times for good
measure before dragging the boy up the stairs and throwing him back into his
cupboard. Harry listened as his uncle locked the door and lumbered upstairs to
go to sleep next to his wife, who knew nothing of his nighttime ventures to
Harry’s cupboard.
Harry pulled up his pants with shaking hands and curled into a tiny ball. He
hoped he would get to take a shower tomorrow. When Uncle Vernon punished him
like that he always felt so dirty. Harry stared blankly at the door, trying to
block out the memories, until he finally passed out.
Draco didn’t know what to do. Harry was curled on the floor shaking and staring
with unseeing eyes at the floor. Harry wasn’t responding to Draco’s calls and
he was afraid to touch him. Draco went to the door to see where in the castle
they were and realized they were near the Defense classroom. He looked back at
Harry, who was still completely out of it, and then ran full speed for
Professor Black’s office.
He ran into the classroom and threw open the office door. Professors Black and
Lupin were sitting there having tea.
“What’s wrong Draco?” Lupin asked.
“It’s Harry.” He said breathlessly. “You have to come right now. He needs
help.” Both Professors leapt up and followed Draco back to the empty classroom.
Harry hadn’t moved. Sirius ran to him and Remus asked “What happened?”
“I-I don’t know. We were making out and all of a sudden Harry just stopped and
started shaking. He won’t respond to me.” Draco said.
Sirius crouched next to the trembling boy and laid a hand on his knee. That did
the trick. Harry’s head shot up and he tried to scoot back but he was already
against the wall. There was pure terror in his eyes and he started muttering
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please not again. Don’t touch me.”
“Harry” Sirius called. “Harry, it’s Sirius, and Remus and Draco, we are not
going to hurt you. Can you tell me what happened?”
Harry just kept muttering. “I’m so dirty. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“Harry?” Draco said kneeling next to him on the floor. “Please talk to me.
Remember I told you you could tell me anything. Nothing you say can make me
leave.” Harry’s eyes became a little clearer and he looked up at Draco.
“I’m sorry Draco” he said quietly.
“Why are you sorry?” Draco asked.
“I’m not clean. I don’t deserve you. I’ve been used and you didn’t know. You
didn’t know. You won’t want me, not if you knew.” Harry said looking away.
“Harry, that’s not true. Nothing you tell me will change my feelings for you.”
Draco reassured.
“Harry? Were you raped?” Remus asked, always the quickest at putting clues
together. Harry held his knees tighter and pressed his face into them.
“Oh pup” Sirius sighed sadly. “Who did it Harry? Who hurt you?” Harry looked up
at him and shook his head.
“Was it your uncle, Harry?” Draco asked quietly, connecting the dots. Harry
stopped shaking his head and started to tremble harder.
Tears were starting to well up in Harry’s eyes. He couldn’t cry. He never
cried. He hadn’t cried since the first time when he was seven. Draco pulled
Harry into a tight hug. The dark haired boy tried to pull away but Draco just
held him.
“Harry, you are never going back there.” Sirius stated insistently. “You are
going to come live with me and no one will ever hurt you again.” Harry started
to shake again in Draco’s embrace. He was quietly sobbing into chest. Draco sat
there rubbing his back until Harry had cried himself to sleep.
“He can stay in my rooms tonight.” Sirius said.
Draco picked Harry up from the floor and held him close. “That is not the only
thing those awful people did to him.” He said quietly. “He weights almost
nothing. They obviously don’t feed him.”
Sirius led them all back to his rooms. He had Draco lay Harry in the spare room
that he had asked Dumbledore for. He had planned on having Harry stay with him
for Christmas until they found out that the wards would need restored. That’s
when it hit him. That is why Harry had asked to stay with him. He had been
surprised when Harry asked. Harry never asked for anything directly.
“I should have known.” He said plopping into his armchair as Remus and Draco
took seats on the couch. “He asked to stay with me over Christmas. He asked!
Harry never asks and I sent him back to that pervert.” Now that the initial
shock was gone Sirius was furious. He stood back up and started pacing.
“You couldn’t have known.” Remus said angrily. “He didn’t tell anyone, Siri. He
didn’t trust anyone.”
Draco couldn’t believe this was happening. How could this happen to Harry. His
Harry. His sweet, quiet Harry who would never hurt anyone. How could someone do
that to him? “How long do you think this has been going on?” he asked quietly.
Both adults looked at him. “I don’t know Draco.” Remus said. “We are going to
have to ask him.”
The three of them sat in Sirius’s living room, processing what they had
learned, and waited for Harry to wake up. It wasn’t long before the heard a
whimper and frantic breathing coming from the bedroom.
Draco jumped up and ran into the room. Harry was sitting on the bed trembling
slightly. Draco sat next to him on the edge of the bed. He reached out and took
Harry’s hand and said “It’s okay Harry. You’re safe here.”
Harry looked up at him and remembered the events from earlier. They knew. He
pulled his hand away and said “I’m so sorry. I understand if you never want to
talk to me again.”
Draco reached out and took Harry’s hand again. He squeezed and said “Harry,
none of this is your fault. You are not dirty. Your uncle is a sick perverted
man who stole something from you that you cannot get back but that is not your
fault and I would never dream of abandoning you because of it.”
“He’s right, pup.” Sirius said from the doorway. He walked over and joined the
boys on the bed. “But it is never going to happen again. I am going to keep you
safe. I love you, Kiddo.” He gave Harry a tight hug.
“Can-Can I please take a shower?” Harry asked so quietly that it was almost a
whisper.
“Sure thing, pup.” Sirius said. “I’ll have a house elf bring you some clean
clothes from your trunk. But when you are done we have some things we need to
talk about.”
Harry slipped out of the bed and headed to the bathroom. Harry got into the hot
water and once again tried to scrub himself clean from the memories.
Thirty minutes later Harry walked into the living room in a clean uniform,
without the tie and robe, and damp hair. Draco smiled at him and patted the
spot on the couch next to him. Harry sat down, leaving a good amount of space
between them.
“Harry” Remus started from an armchair next to Sirius. “We have some questions
we need you to answer. I know it’s going to be hard but we need the information
so we can help you and keep you out of that house.”
Harry nodded slowly.
“Alright Harry, can you tell me how long your uncle has been doing this to
you?” Remus said softly.
Harry fought all of his instincts to just get up and run. He took a deep breath
and answered, “He’s been doing it since I was seven.” He closed his eyes to
avoid seeing their reactions. It was good that he did because Sirius was
starting to shake in fury. Draco took Harry’s hand and squeezed it. Remus
placed a calming hand on Sirius’s shoulder and the man took a deep breath.
“Thank you Harry.” Remus continued calmly even though he was fighting the wolf
inside him. “Does he ever hurt you in other ways?”
Harry tightened his grip on Draco’s hand. “He likes to knock me around. When I
screw up, or if he’s just mad, he’ll come up to my room and hit me some.
Sometimes, if he’s really mad, he’ll use the belt but that was usually saved
for when I used accidental magic.”
“Were their other ways your relatives punished you?” Remus asked.
“Aunt Petunia would just lock me in my cupboard and withheld food. For days,
sometimes more. And of course she would always tell Uncle Vernon.”
“Your cupboard?”
“Until I started Hogwarts they kept me in the cupboard under the stairs. When
my first Hogwarts letter was addressed to it they moved me to Dudley’s second
bedroom. They lock my trunk in the cupboard now, to keep me from doing any
magic.”
“That’s why you were doing your homework on the train?” Draco asked. Harry
nodded.
“How often did your uncle rape you, Harry?” Remus asked knowing this would be a
hard question.
Harry flinched at the word. “When I was younger he would sneak down to the
cupboard and take me to the basement while Aunt Petunia was asleep but it was
mostly just when he got back late from the pub. When they moved me upstairs he
had to find ways to get Aunt Petunia and Dudley out of the house, so a few
times a week he would send them off to the cinema or something.”
“So your aunt and cousin didn’t know?” Remus confirmed.
“I don’t think so. But I think Aunt Petunia may have suspected.”
“Alright Harry. I think that is enough for now.” Remus said. It worried him how
detached Harry had been through the entire questioning. “I think it would help
you if you talked about this with someone. It could be any of us or we could
call in a mind healer to come talk to you.”
Harry turned frantic. “No! No one can know. You’re not even supposed to know.
It just gets worse if I tell!” Harry was shaking again.
“Did you tell someone before? What happened?” Remus asked.
“The first time he did it was because I tried to tell my teacher that he hit
me. He did it and he beat me and he told me that if I told anyone they wouldn’t
care because I was a dirty freak whose only use was to be a good fuck and that
they would just fuck me too.” Harry was sitting clutching his knees to his
chest trying not to hyperventilate.
Sirius, who had been sitting silently, sadly watching his godson while Remus
asked the questions, stood up and went to his medicine cabinet. He pulled out a
calming potion. He kept them around because he still had nightmares from
Azkaban and they were the only safe way for him to go back to sleep after one.
He took it over to Harry and coaxed it down the panicking boy’s throat. Sirius
sat next to Harry rubbing his back and said, “He was wrong. He was wrong,
Harry. You are not dirty. You are not a freak. You are just a child who has
been taken advantage of. I will not let anyone ever touch you without your
consent ever again. I will protect you. I love you so much, pup. I am so sorry
I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.” Once the calming potion had taken
effect, Sirius pulled the small teen into a tight embrace. He just sat there
holding him until Harry finally pulled away.
“What happens now?” Harry asked quietly, looking up at his godfather.
“We will figure this thing out together. You are never going back there.
Luckily, I was already planning on claiming guardianship over you and having
you live with me this summer, if that is what you wanted. I was going to ask
you at our next dinner. We will need to press charges against your relatives
but we don’t have to talk about that right now. Remus is right. You need to
talk to someone. You have handled this on your own for far too long. But that
is another thing we can talk about later. Right now, it is almost curfew. You
can stay here if you want or you can go back to your dorm, it is your choice.”
Sirius explained.
“I.. um I think I want to go back to the tower. I need some time to process,
alone.” Harry said.
“Okay pup. Then how about we move our dinner to tomorrow night and we can
discuss things then.” Sirius hugged him again.
Both boys got up to leave. Once they were outside Sirius’s quarters Draco
turned to Harry. “Can I walk you to the tower?” he asked.
“You don’t have to do that.” Harry stated.
“I know. I want to.” Draco said. He cautiously took Harry’s hand. Harry looked
up at him and gave him a small smile.
“I’m sorry for this mess. I ruined our date.” Harry said softly.
“It’s my fault. I moved too fast. I knew things would have to move slowly but I
got carried away.” Harry shook his head but didn’t reply.
When they got to the tower they stood outside the portrait. “I know it was hard
but I’m glad you told me. Things will not change between us. I want to help
you. Just remember if you want to talk I’m always here. And if you need me when
I’m not around shoot me a message in the journal; I’ll keep it on me. I love
you, Harry.” Draco said.
Harry leaned in and kissed him just as he had hours ago before this whole mess
started. “I love you too Draco.” They said goodnight and Harry entered the
Gryffindor tower. Draco headed down to the dungeons but not to his common room.
This was too much to process and he needed to talk to someone.
Draco knocked on his godfather’s door. Snape opened the door and Draco stormed
in.
“Draco, it’s almost curfew. What are you doing here? What’s wrong?” Snape asked
concerned.
“That bastard! That fucking bastard!” Draco screamed. “Severus, his fucking
uncle has been raping him!”
“Draco, slow down. Who’s uncle?” Severus said placing a hand on Draco’s
shoulder and led him to the couch.
Draco took a shuddering breath. “Harry. Tonight I found out that his fucking
uncle has been beating and raping him his whole life.” Draco buried his face in
his hands. “What do I do Severus? How can I help him?”
“Oh Draco.” Snape sighed. He didn’t know what to think. Since his first talk
with Draco about Harry he had been reconsidering his thoughts about the boy.
Now that he was paying attention he could see the signs but he didn’t think it
went this far. “All you can do is be there for him. Support him, be there when
he’s ready to talk. He is going to have to come to terms with what has happened
to him and with you knowing. What happened exactly? Does anyone else know?”
Draco explained what had happened that evening. “Well then at least you are not
alone. He has the mutt and the wolf to help him too.”
“How am I supposed to act? How do I keep from scaring him off?” Draco asked.
“Try not to act differently. He hasn’t changed just because you know. He has
been dealing with this the whole time you’ve known him. But now that you know,
I hope you realize that you are going to have to take this relationship slowly.
One step at a time; test the waters before you move on to the next step.
Everything will be alright but it will take time.” Snape explained calmly.
“The whole time Professor Lupin was questioning him he was completely detached.
I didn’t know how to comfort him. I still don’t.” Draco sighed.
“Detaching is probably how he copes. That is something you will have to help
him overcome. He has probably spent his whole life pushing away reality and it
will hurt him in the long run. Potter is obviously a tough kid, he can get
through his.”
***** Adjustments *****
Chapter Summary
     Harry adjusts to other people knowing and more secrets come out.
Harry stood up to leave the great hall and head to his first class of the day.
As he reached for the door it was pulled open for him. He looked up to see
Draco smiling at him.
“Can I walk you to class?” The blond asked following him out the door.
“Sure.” Harry said. He hadn’t seen Draco since he dropped him off to the
Gryffindor common room after last night’s fiasco. He had to admit he was a
little nervous that Draco would come to his senses and leave him.
As they reached the staircase Draco stopped and pulled Harry close, kissing him
gently. Harry wrapped his arms around him and held tightly. “How did you
sleep?” Draco asked. Since Harry had accidently revealed his frequent
nightmares to Draco a month ago, this was a common question from his boyfriend.
And now Draco had a good idea what these nightmares were about.
“Not bad.” Harry said releasing Draco from his grasp. Draco had also figured
out Harry’s code over their time together. ‘Not bad’ generally meant terrible.
Draco just took Harry’s hand and walked him the rest of the way to class.
They parted ways with another quick kiss and Harry walked into History of Magic
with a smile on his face. Maybe Draco wouldn’t leave him after all. This
thought left Harry questioning the things he had always believed about himself.
The day passed fairly normally. Harry went to class as always, though he did
find it harder to concentrate on what the teachers were saying. Luckily no one
but Draco noticed; in potions Snape didn’t even ask him a single question.
After class Draco and Harry went on a walk around the lake. They talked about
what ever came to mind, except for Harry’s home life. They just enjoyed each
other’s company. When it was time for dinner Draco headed into the Great Hall
and Harry headed up to the defense classroom to meet Sirius.
He went up and knocked on the office door, opening it when Sirius called “Come
in.” Sirius gave a small sigh but got up and headed out into the classroom. He
gave Harry a small smile put an arm around him leading him out into the hall
towards his personal chambers. They could have cut through his office but
Sirius always elected to take the scenic route because of Harry’s aversion to
the room.
“Harry?” Sirius asked as they sat down for dinner in his living room. “Why
won’t you go in my office?” Harry looked up at him startled but didn’t say
anything. “Please, tell me. Like I said last night nothing you could possibly
tell me would make me leave you. I love you pup. Now tell me, did something
happen to you in there?”
Harry took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He guessed if Sirius knew about
his uncle he could know about this. “In my second year,” Harry started quietly.
“Lockhart, the Defense teacher. He took a liking to me, I guess. He… He gave me
detention… a lot. But he would take me to his office and… and…”Harry trailed
off staring at his shaking hands. Sirius watched his godson sadly. This poor
kid couldn’t catch a break could he? He took Harry’s small hands in his own.
Harry looked up and met his eye. “I didn’t understand.” He continued with the
same strange calm he had had the night before. “I was so used to Uncle Vernon’s
punishments that I didn’t really realize that it was not okay. And he was…
gentler… than Uncle Vernon.” Harry shuddered. “He would tell me nice things and
tell me that he l-loved me, instead of the slur of drunken insults I got at
home. I was used to it. I didn’t like it, but I didn’t like being beaten
either. You’re not supposed to like being punished. I didn’t truly understand
what they had been doing to me until we got the ‘talk’ in third year. By then
it was too late. I was already so used up it didn’t matter. I had long since
stopped fighting.”
“Oh Harry,” Sirius said moving from his armchair to sit next to Harry on the
couch. He pulled his godson into his arms. “You are not used up. There is
nothing wrong with you. I am going to protect you from now on. I will make sure
they are held responsible even if I have to go curse them myself.”
“You don’t need to do that. It’s fine. Lockhart is in St Mungo’s with no
memory. He can’t hurt me. I just want to pretend it never happened.” Harry
muttered.
“I know you do Harry but it’s not healthy to just push it away. You have to
come to terms with it.” Sirius insisted.
Harry pulled away and stood up. “I have come to terms with it.” He said
angrily. “My uncle is a sick bastard who likes to hold me down and fuck me
hard; who’s greatest joy in life is to cause me pain. And Lockhart was a
fucking pedophile who got kicks out of touching little boys; who probably only
went so far because I was already so fucked up that I knew what he wanted and
just gave it to him.” Harry was shouting and fighting back tears.
Sirius was shocked that Harry was actually yelling, considering the boy barely
spoke in more than a whisper. “Okay, you know what they did was wrong. But you
still have to accept it. You have to accept that it happened and accept that it
was not your fault. You need to heal.” Harry’s entire body was shaking. He
stared at his godfather for a moment before collapsing next to him on the sofa.
Harry pulled his knees tightly to his chest and allowed Sirius to pull him into
his side and just hold him. That is how Remus and Draco found them when they
came to check on them hours later.
Remus chuckled and gently shook Sirius awake. “Remy, what are you doing here?”
Sirius asked quietly so not to wake Harry.
“Well Draco came to my office when Harry didn’t meet up with him in the library
after dinner so we came to check on the two of you. Turns out you just took a
nap instead of eating.” Remus looked at the abandon plates of food on the
coffee table.
Sirius looked down at Harry then slowly lifted him so that he could get up
without waking the boy. He laid Harry out on the couch and looked at Draco who
was sitting in an armchair. “Keep an eye on him; I need to talk to Remus.”
Draco nodded and Sirius and Remus headed to the kitchen.
Sirius sat down at the table and Remus began making tea. “His bastard uncle
wasn’t the only one.” Sirius said quietly.
“What?”
“Lockhart, the defense teacher the year before you, he gave Harry detention on
multiple occasions and raped him in my fucking office. That’s why he won’t go
in there.”
“Oh Merlin.” Before Remus could say anything else they heard noise coming from
the living room.
Harry moaned from the couch. He sat up slowly and stretched, looking around.
“Good morning, Sunshine.” Draco said smiling. “Or should I say evening?” Harry
smiled at him and ran a hand through his hair.
Sirius and Remus came out of the kitchen. “Hey pup! Have a nice nap?” Sirius
asked sitting down next to his godson.
Harry nodded. “I’m sorry I shouted at you.” He said sheepishly.
“No problem kiddo. Any time you need to yell feel free.” Sirius chuckled.
“Harry Potter yelled?” Draco asked.
Harry looked down blushing. “I may have gotten a little emotional.”
Sirius chuckled again. “You needed it; just like you need to eat dinner. You’re
still too skinny to be skipping meals.” He pulled out his wand and reheated the
food still sitting on the coffee table.
-:-
Over the next few months Harry met weekly with Sirius and Remus. They talked
with Harry and helped him work through his emotions. He was slowly coming
around to the idea that what happened was not his fault. Sirius was trying to
convince him to press charges against the scum he called his family but every
time it was brought up Harry would evade the subject or leave the room.
Currently Harry was sitting with Draco in Sirius’s rooms while Sirius and Remus
were in a staff meeting. Sirius let the teenagers use his room to spend time
together since they were in separate houses.
Harry was leaning against Draco and the larger teen had his arm wrapped around
him. Both boys were reading textbooks. Well Draco was not actually reading. He
was staring blankly at the pages, lost in his own thoughts. Occasionally he
would glance down at Harry.
“Harry?” Draco asked breaking the silence. Harry looked up at him; emerald eyes
meeting mercury. “Why don’t you want to press charges against the Dursley’s?”
Harry sat up, pulling away from his boyfriend, and turned to face him. “I don’t
want to ever see them again. Why go through seeing them again and having to
tell more people how weak I am? Sirius has guardianship over me. They can’t
make me go back so why put myself through that?”
“Harry you are not weak.” Draco scolded. “Don’t you want them to be punished
for what they did to you?”
Harry looked down at his knees which he had unconsciously brought to his chest.
“They didn’t want me, Draco. They were forced to take me in.”
“That doesn’t give them the right to hurt you!” Draco shouted.
Harry closed his eyes. “I know.” He whispered. Draco wrapped his arms around
Harry and pulled him into his chest. He felt Harry take a few shuddering deep
breaths in attempts to calm himself.
“Harry, if you do it, we will all be right there with you. You will not face
them alone. They deserve to be in Azkaban.”
“Okay.” Harry sighed nodding into Draco’s chest. “I’ll do it.” Draco placed a
finger under Harry’s chin and lifted his face up to his own and kissed him
deeply.
“Break it up! Break it up!” Sirius called walking into the room, embarrassing
the teens on the couch. Remus and Snape followed him in.
“Severus, what are you doing here?” Draco asked looking at his godfather.
“Looking for you.” Snape drawled.
“Why?” Draco asked worriedly. “What’s wrong?”
Snape sat down in the armchair across from Draco. “There was a break out from
Azkaban. Your father and the other death eaters have all escaped.”
***** Trial *****
Chapter Summary
     Harry testifies at the Dursley's trial.
Chapter Notes
     Sorry I meant to post the entire revised story in the same weekend
     but I didn't get the revision finished and didn't get around to
     finishing until now.
     xoxo Lifeless
Draco and Harry were walking to Sirius’s rooms. The lawyer that Sirius had
hired for the case against the Dursley’s was coming to talk to them about the
trial. They managed to get the trial set to be over the Easter holidays. Harry
was going to stay with Sirius at Black Manor and Draco and his mother were
joining them. Since Lucius broke out of Azkaban they were not safe at Malfoy
Manor.
In the few weeks since the breakout Draco had been more subdued but he had kept
himself distracted with Harry and the trial. Harry, in avoidance of thinking
about the trial, had been doing anything he could think of to cheer the boy up.
Harry held onto Draco’s hand tightly as he knocked on the door to Sirius’s
rooms. Sirius opened the door giving Harry a quick hug before ushering them in.
As they sat down on the couch the floo roared to life. A man of average height
with light brown hair stepped out.
“Harry, Draco this is Conner Kent.” Sirius said shaking the man’s hand,
introducing him. They exchanged greetings and Conner sat in an armchair.
“Alright Harry, Sirius informed me of the situation and I’m just here to give
you an overview of what to expect at the trial next week.” Conner said. “Now
your uncle will be tried in the wizarding court system but since he is a muggle
he will be sentenced to a muggle prison.”
“What happens if they don’t find him guilty?” Harry asked nervously.
“Don’t worry about that Harry. Since he is being tried in the wizarding world
we will be able to use veritaserum, meaning there is almost no possibility of
him getting off. We will also be able to, if you let us, give you a similar
potion. It’s called verumsedatione. It has calming properties and will help you
tell the whole truth. It will not force you to answer but if you do it will
draw a complete answer from you. It is commonly used in situations like this to
help the witness answer difficult questions without getting emotional.” Conner
went over the types of questions he would ask and the types of answers Harry
should give. They talked for over an hour, Harry gave Conner some details and
Conner answered all of Harry’s questions. By the time they were finished Harry
was emotionally exhausted. Draco walked him to his tower, kissed him goodnight
and sent him up to bed.
The week came to a close and everyone got ready to go home for the holidays.
Harry and Draco were flooing from Sirius’s rooms to Black Manor. The trial was
on Tuesday so they would have the weekend to get ready and then the rest of the
week to recover. Harry spent most of the weekend sitting with Sirius trying to
get his head together. This gave Draco time with his mother to work out his
feelings about his father’s escape.
Tuesday came much too quickly for Harry’s liking. They flooed to the Ministry
and headed down to the courtrooms. Sirius had used his influence in the
Ministry (since they falsely imprisoned him for 12 years) to make sure this was
a closed trial. Just the Wizengamot members who were presiding and the lawyers
and witnesses were allowed to be present, and Harry’s support group of course.
Before everything got started Sirius slipped Harry a calming draught. The boy
had been squeezing Draco’s hand so tightly Sirius thought it might fall off.
Harry gave him a small smile and downed the vial.
“Alright, they are getting ready to start.” Conner said sitting down next to
Harry at their table. The doors at the back of the courtroom opened and the
adult Dursley’s were escorted in by Aurors. Dudley followed and sat in the
stands behind his parents. He was not being tried but sent to a juvenile
facility.
Harry kept his eyes forward to avoid looking at his relatives but it didn’t
keep him from feeling the glares they were throwing at him. Draco, who was
sitting directly behind Harry, placed a hand on the nervous boy’s shoulder
causing him to jump. When Draco didn’t remove his hand Harry brought up his own
to hold it.
The judge stood and presented all of the introductory information about the
case. Then Conner and the Dursley’s lawyer gave their opening statements.
Conner then called Harry to the stands.
Harry reluctantly let go of Draco’s hand and walked to the witness chair.
“Harry will be giving his testimony under the influence of verumseptione to
make it easier on him and ensure us truthful answers.” Conner said holding up
the vial and presenting it to the court before handing it to Harry. Harry drank
it quickly and felt the calm that had been slipping away from him return. Once
the potion had taken effect Conner began his questioning.
“Alright Harry let’s start with some easy questions. How old are you?” Conner
said standing in front of Harry.
“16.” Harry replied dully.
“And how long have you lived with your relatives, the Dursley’s?”
“15 years; since I was 15 months old.”
“And during this time your uncle physically and sexually abused you?”
“Yes.”
“Can you tell me the first time you remember being hit?”
“I think I was about 3 or 4. I tripped when I was bringing Uncle Vernon his
morning coffee and spilled it on him. He backhanded me and threw me in my
cupboard.”
“What do you mean by your ‘cupboard’?”
“The cupboard under the stairs. That’s where I slept until I got my Hogwarts
letter, then they moved me to Dudley’s second bedroom.”
“How often were you in ‘your’ cupboard?”
“Before I started school, any time I wasn’t doing chores. Once I started
primary school my chores took most of the time left in the day so I was only in
there at night, or if I was being punished.”
“What does 'being punished' entail?”
“When I was in trouble I was locked in without meals.”
“What kind of chores did you do?”
“When I was real little I just had to clean the house and stuff. When I turned
6 Aunt Petunia started teaching me to cook and soon after that I started doing
yard work, like mowing and weeding.”
“How often did your uncle physically hurt you?”
“I got knocked around daily but I only got real beatings when I was in serious
trouble. Most of the time it was because I used accidental magic but I didn’t
know about magic at the time so I couldn’t stop it.”
“When was the first time your uncle abused you sexually?”
“When I was five.”
“What did he do to you?”
Harry flinched, reacting for the first time since the questioning had begun.
“He would come down at night and pull me out of my cupboard and make me touch
him or suck him off, sometimes he would touch me but normally he just wanted me
to pleasure him.”
“Did your aunt ever abuse you sexually?”
“No. She didn’t like to touch me ever. She wouldn’t even hit me with her hand,
she would use a frying pan or something to avoid touching me. She was afraid my
freakishness would rub off on her.”
“How old were you the first time your uncle raped you?”
Harry flinched again but responded in the same dull voice he had been answering
in. “Seven.”
“How often did this happen?”
“When I was younger it was mostly just when he came home late from the pub or
when he was in the mood but Aunt Petunia had already gone to bed. After I
started Hogwarts, I slept upstairs so he would have to find ways to get Aunt
Petunia out of the house ‘cause he didn’t want to wake her by dragging me down
to the basement. He would find excuses to send her and Dudley out to do things
as often as possible. He eventually convinced her to take up playing bridge
with the other ladies in the neighborhood so he would have me to himself at
least once a week, although it was normally more.”
The effects of the potion were beginning to wear off and Harry was starting to
tremble. “Alright I think that is enough. Thank you Harry.” Harry stumbled off
the stand and back to his seat. Instead of sitting at the table where he had
before he sat next to Draco who immediately pulled him into a tight embrace.
The judge gave them a ten minute recess for Harry to collect himself. Since
Harry was still had the potion running through his veins it did not take Draco
long to get him to stop trembling. When the ten minutes were up Harry was
sitting next to Draco being held to his side by the blonde boy’s arm around his
shoulders.
Conner called Vernon up to the stand. “Mr. Dursley, you will be giving your
testimony under the influence of a truth potion, Veritaserum.”
“I most certainly will not!” Vernon growled. “I’m not going to touch that
freakish stuff.”
“Mr. Dursley, you do not have a choice. Now drink this or we will force you
too.” When Vernon continued to refuse an Auror came up, forced his mouth open
and made him swallow.
“Alright Mr. Dursley, please state your name.” Conner requested.
“Vernon Dursley.”
“You are Harry Potter’s uncle and he has been living with you and your family
for the last 15 years?”
“Yes.”
“How did you punish your nephew when he displeased you?”
“When the little bastard screwed up I just knocked him around a bit. A punch
here, a kick there then I would lock him in the cupboard without meals until he
had been properly punished for his failure. When he used his freakishness it
required a little more discipline, I would use my belt and beat the
freakishness out of him. And if I was in the mood I’d give him a good fuck too,
just to make sure he knew his place.” Vernon said emotionlessly. The
unfortunate side effect of the potion was that the drinker expressed their true
feelings about the subject.
“So you raped your nephew?”
“Yes, but the little freak liked it. Look at him, you think he’s not begging
Blondie over there to fuck him every night? The freaks a little fag and I could
tell, I just gave him a little experience.”
“That is enough Mr. Dursley.” Conner interrupted. “So in addition to raping
your nephew on a frequent basis you physically injured him, starved him, and
locked him in a small space. Is that correct?”
“Yes.”
“That is all.”
Vernon was fed the veritaserum antidote and sent back to his table. Harry was
staring at him in shock of what had been said. Vernon threw him a dirty glare
and said “Don’t let them fool you Freak, you’re nothing but a worthless fuck
toy and they are all just waiting for their turn. Don’t worry Blondie I trained
him real good, he’s a great little whore; he’ll do whatever you tell him too.”
Harry tried to pull away from Draco but was just pulled closer. When he
couldn’t get away he fell into Draco full force and sobbed.
“Draco,” Sirius said “why don’t you take Harry home. He doesn’t have to be here
for the rest I should have sent him home as soon as he was finished.” He
reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring with the Black crest on it. “This
is a portkey back to the manor. Take him out into the hall and say ‘Padfoot’s
Pad’ once you are both touching it. We will be home as soon as they are
sentenced.”
Draco coaxed Harry to stand and led him out of the courtroom. Once they were in
the hall he activated the portkey and they popped into the sitting room of
Black Manor. Narcissa was sitting in an armchair reading a book.
“Is it over already?” She asked looking up. Upon seeing Harry’s trembling form
clutching her son she said “Oh. Why don’t you take him up to bed and I’ll bring
you up some tea?”
Draco nodded and led Harry up the stairs. Harry had stopped crying by the time
they got up to his room but was now unresponsive. Draco maneuvered him through
the room and into bed. Harry immediately curled into a ball. Draco sat behind
him and rubbed circles on his back. Eventually Harry’s trembling stopped and
Draco assumed he fell asleep. Draco lay down next to him and placed an arm over
him.
“How can you stand to touch me?” Harry whispered. Draco sat up leaning on his
elbow and leaned over so that he could see Harry’s face. Harry was still
staring off at the wall across from them. “He’s right you know…”
“Stop Harry!” Draco cut him off. “He’s not right. There is nothing wrong with
you. Just because he is a sick man who did unforgivable things to you doesn’t
make you a whore. It doesn’t make you dirty. It doesn’t make you any of those
horrible things you think about yourself. It makes you a victim. And one day
you will believe me when I tell you that you are beautiful and sweet and loving
and perfect and that I love you and that nothing that has happened to you in
the past is going to change that.”
Harry looked up and met Draco’s eyes. “I love you too Draco.” Draco leant down
and placed a kiss on Harry’s lips. There was a knock on the door and they
pulled apart.
“Come in.” Draco called. Narcissa walked in with a tray of tea. She sat it on
the bedside table. She poured a glass and handed it to Harry, who was sitting
up to lean against the headboard.
“Are you feeling better, sweetheart?” Narcissa asked handing a cup to Draco.
Harry nodded. “Thanks” he said quietly. Narcissa smiled at him and left.
As they drank their tea they heard someone running up the stairs. Harry tensed
but relaxed when Sirius ran into the room. Sirius sat on the foot of the bed
and looked Harry over. Seeing that Harry looked like he was alright Sirius took
the time to catch his breath.
“How are you doing pup?” Sirius asked.
“I’m okay.” Harry said looking warily at his godfather. “What happened?”
“Vernon will be serving life in a muggle prison and Petunia will be in for at
least 20 years.” Sirius said placing a hand on Harry’s leg. “It’s over. You
never have to see them again. You did really well today kiddo.”
Harry sat down his cup, crawled to the end of the bed and threw his arms around
Sirius’s neck. Sirius hugged him back tightly and when Harry pulled away he
asked “What was that for pup?”
“For saving me.” Harry replied moving back to his spot next to Draco. He
nuzzled in to Draco’s side and finished his tea for the first time truly
feeling safe.
***** Battle *****
Chapter Summary
     Voldemort attacks Hogsmeade.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
The days after the trial were rough. Harry was shaken up from his uncle’s cruel
words but with Draco’s constant reassurance he came to realize that they were
not true. They worked on building back up his confidence. After they went back
to school Harry continued with his weekly meetings with Sirius and Remus.
-:-
It was the final Hogsmeade weekend of the school year. Draco and Harry were
walking out along the fence by the Shrieking Shack, enjoying the rare
opportunity to spend some time alone. Things had gotten hectic; teachers were
piling on the homework to prep them for the end of the term exams.
Draco stopped and pushed Harry gently against the fence. He pulled him into a
deep passionate kiss.
“I always knew you were a disgrace. My son, the faggot.” A voice said from the
trees.
Draco pulled away from Harry and spun around, standing in front of Harry.
Lucius Malfoy walked out of the patch of woods with a disgusted sneer on his
face.
“Father! What are you doing here?” Draco shouted.
“Coming to find you, of course. I had hoped you would join us in the attack on
Hogwarts today.” Lucius said walking toward them.
“Never! I’m through with you and your ‘lord’” Draco spat.
“Well then I’ll just have to kill you then.” Lucius raised his wand and fired a
curse. Harry pushed Draco out of the way. Lucius laughed. “How cute.” He
sneered. “Well the least you can do, after turning my son into a fag, is give
me your name.”
Draco tried to pull himself up off the ground but Lucius whacked him with his
cane. “Harry Potter” Harry said bringing Lucius’s attention back to him.
“Well Mr. Potter I can certainly see why my son is attracted to you. You are
quite beautiful.” Lucius placed a hand on Harry’s cheek causing him to flinch
and pull away. “Crucio” Harry dropped to the ground screaming and writhing.
Draco threw himself at his father. They rolled across the ground. Harry laid
panting and twitching.
Lucius and Draco stood up and squared off. “You shouldn’t have done that Draco.
Now it is your turn, Crucio.” Draco fell to the ground.
“No!” Harry shouted. He scrambled to his feet. He threw a stunner at Lucius
knocking him across the clearing. Harry ran over to Draco. “Are you okay?” he
asked, kneeling next to his boyfriend.
Draco sat up shakily. “Yeah I’m okay. Thank you.” Harry helped him to his feet.
“We need to get back and tell the school that Voldemort is going to attack.”
Harry said. They tied Lucius to a tree with conjured rope, placed an anti-
apparition ward over him, and pocketed his wand. Once they were sure he was
secure they took off running toward town.
They were just reaching the end of the path through the woods when they heard
the sounds of fighting. Then two people burst out of the woods and knocked them
to the ground. It was Ron and Hermione.
“What’s going on?” Harry asked as Draco pulled him to his feet.
“You-Know-Who is attacking.” Ron gasped.
“Dumbledore and Neville are dueling him. We have to kill his snake.” Hermione
said, her eyes scouring the ground for the snake they had been chasing.
“There!” Harry shouted taking off after the snake.
“Harry, wait!” Draco called chasing after him. Ron and Hermione followed them.
Harry was fast from all the years of running from Dudley.
“Harry!” Hermione yelled. “It has to be killed with the sword of Gryffindor.”
Harry slowed down enough to let Ron catch up with him and give him the sword
before sprinting off again at full speed. He caught up to the large snake and
swung at it. The snake dodged and hissed at him. He swung a few more times
before the sword finally connected. The sword cut through the snake’s neck,
decapitating it and sending its head flying into the forest.
Harry skidded to a stop and the others caught up to him. They all stood their
panting.
“We have to get back to Neville.” Hermione said. She and Ron took off again
running back toward town. Harry and Draco followed them.
They reached the square in the middle of town. Neville was dueling with
Voldemort; surrounded by Order members dueling Death Eaters. Their spells were
locked.
“Neville!” Hermione screamed. Neville looked up at her and Voldemort’s spell
broke through. Neville got hit with the Dark Lord’s Killing Curse and crumpled
to the ground. Voldemort collapsed too.
The four of them stopped running. Hermione gasped and Ron wrapped his arms
around her. Harry grabbed Draco’s hand. They stared at the scene before them.
Voldemort stood up and laughed coldly. “The Boy-Who-Lived is dead.” He
announced. The Death Eaters regrouped behind him. “Now is the time to declare
yourself. Come forward and join us… or die.”
“No one is going to join you.” Neville stood up from where he had fallen. “It’s
over Tom. There are no more horcruxes. This time you die for good.” Before
Voldemort recovered from seeing his enemy rise from the dead, Neville hit him
with a Killing Curse. Voldemort collapsed on the ground.
Everything froze. Everyone in the square stood staring at Voldemort’s body. It
was only when one of the Death Eaters realized that he should get out of there
and disapparated did everyone come back to their senses. All of the remaining
Death Eaters disapparated and Order members started to help the injured back to
Hogwarts.
Ron and Hermione took off running to Neville. They threw themselves at him and
all three of them fell on the ground.
“Harry?!” Sirius and Remus were running to where Harry and Draco were still
standing at the edge of the square. Remus had a nasty gash on his forehead and
Sirius was limping badly. “Thank Merlin you’re alright!” Sirius grabbed Harry
and hugged him close. Sirius let him go and moved on to hug Draco as Remus took
his turn to hug Harry.
“My father is tied up out by the Shrieking Shack. Someone should go get him.”
Draco said.
“I’ll go send someone from the Order to get him. You should head up to the
school.” Remus said. Remus ran off. Harry and Draco each place one of Sirius’s
arms around their shoulders and helped him hobble up to the castle.
The hospital wing was a busy place. They got Sirius into an empty bed and sat
next to him. Harry looked around and observed the damage. Neville was sitting
on a bed in the corner with the other members of the Golden Trio sitting next
to him. There were multiple Order members being treated and a few students as
well.
Over the next few days there was a flurry of activity. Dumbledore called an
Order meeting to give the details of what happened. Draco and Harry were
invited to join and share their part.
It turned out the Dumbledore and Neville had been hunting down Voldemort’s
horcruxes throughout the school year. They had destroyed all of them except the
snake and Neville himself. When Voldemort began his attack they formulated a
plan. Ron and Hermione would kill Nagini and then give Neville the signal.
Neville would let Voldemort destroy the last horcrux, himself. Dumbledore had
been training Neville. Since they knew Neville’s wand wouldn’t work against
Voldemort, during training Neville disarmed Dumbledore and kept his wand.
Neville had the wand in his pocket and when he woke up he pulled it out and
used it to curse Voldemort instead.
-:-
The rest of the school year passed calmly. Exams were canceled in celebration.
Many students went home early but they were allowed to stay until the end of
term if they wanted.
Harry walked into Sirius’s rooms. It was the last day of term and Harry had
just said goodbye to Draco, who was riding the train home. His father was back
in Azkaban so he and his mother were moving back into Malfoy Manor. He promised
that he would visit often over the summer.
“Ready to go, pup?” Sirius asked. All of their stuff was piled by the fireplace
ready to be shrunken.
Harry nodded with a bright smile. They got everything together and flooed to
Black Manor. Harry landed clumsily in the living room. Sirius stepped out
behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Welcome home, Harry.”
Chapter End Notes
     This chapter moves very fast. The story is about Harry and his
     recovery and relationship with Draco the battle with Voldemort was
     not a main point but I wanted everyone to know how it all worked out.
     I hope you enjoyed this.
***** Epilogue - The First Time *****
Chapter Summary
     Harry and Draco have sex for the first time together.
Chapter Notes
     A reviewer on fanfiction.net asked for a scene of their first time. I
     did my best. Enjoy.
     xoxo Lifeless
Draco and Harry were lying in Draco’s bed. Harry was spending the last week of
the summer at Draco’s house while Sirius and Remus prepared for the new school
year. Both boys were in various states of undress. Draco was in just his boxers
while Harry was in his t-shirt and his boxers. Harry often kept his shirt on to
cover his scars.
Harry was leaning back against the pillows while Draco hovered over him. They
kissed passionately, hands roaming over each other’s bodies. Harry let out a
moan as their covered cocks brushed. Harry pulled back from the kiss and Draco
looked at him in concern. They had gotten beyond this point before but some
days were harder him than others.
“Draco,” Harry whispered nervously. “I think I’m ready.”
Draco watched him. “Are you sure?” He asked cautiously. Harry had pushed
himself farther than he was ready for before and it had terrified him, setting
his recovery back.
“Yes. I want to have sex with you, Draco.” Harry said firmly.
Draco leaned forward and kissed him fiercely. “Okay. If at any point you want
to stop you have to tell me. This is all on your terms. I won’t be upset.”
“I know, Draco. I love you and I want to do this.” Harry stated.
That was all the incentive Draco needed. His lips connected with Harry’s again
and his hand reached down to Harry’s boxers. He gently slid them down the
smaller boy’s thighs. Draco reached out and grabbed his wand from the night
stand. Without removing his lips from Harry’s, he cast a cleansing charm and a
lubrication spell.
Draco slipped one hand onto Harry’s hardened cock to distract him as he slid
the other down the boy’s crevasse. Harry shuttered and Draco pulled back from
the kiss to look into his eyes. Harry gave him a small smile and nodded
nervously.
Draco went back to kissing him. One hand still stroking his boyfriend’s cock as
he slowly slid a finger into his tight hole. Harry whimpered and Draco stopped
moving. “I’m okay.” Harry gasped.
Draco gave him time to adjust before moving his finger around caressing the
boy’s insides. Harry keened and Draco slid in another finger. He scissored them
and stretched Harry. He added a third finger and Harry shifted uncomfortably.
“Still okay?” Draco asked. His finger’s brushed the boy’s prostate and Harry
bucked up into Draco’s hand with a moan. Draco smiled at the sound. He slowly
removed his fingers, still stroking Harry’s cock. “Okay. This will hurt a bit.
Just tell me if you need to stop.”
Harry’s hands, which were grasping Draco’s shoulders, tightened in
anticipation. “I’ll be fine.” He pulled Draco down to continue kissing him.
Draco lined himself up and deepened the kiss as he sank his cock into the
smaller boy gently. Harry whimpered and clutched Draco tighter. Draco froze. “I
love you, Harry.” Draco moaned. Once he was fully seated he let the small boy’s
body adjust to his girth.
“I love you too.” Harry panted. “Please move.” Draco pulled back slowly and
thrust back in. Harry gasped and Draco stopped. “No keep going. I’m okay.”
Harry wrapped his legs around Draco’s waist, pulling him closer.
Draco set a rhythm and began stroking Harry to it. Harry cried out as Draco hit
his prostate again and again. “Faster” He moaned.
After that it was a flurry of thrusting, stroking, touching, and kissing. Harry
came following a particularly deep thrust and Draco quickly followed. Draco
collapsed next to Harry, panting. Harry rolled over onto his side and curled
into Draco, his head resting on the larger boy’s sweat coated chest.
“Thank you.” He whispered. “It was perfect. You’re perfect. I love you.” Draco
leant down and kissed him lightly.
“I love you too.” Draco wrapped his arms around Harry and they both fell
asleep.
End Notes
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