Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/5620888.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      The_Hobbit_-_J._R._R._Tolkien, The_Hobbit_-_All_Media_Types, The_Hobbit_
      (Jackson_Movies), TOLKIEN_J._R._R._-_Works_&_Related_Fandoms
  Relationship:
      Frerin/Reader, Thorin_Oakenshield_&_Reader, Thorin_Oakenshield/Reader,
      Thorin/Reader
  Character:
      Thorin_Oakenshield, Frerin, Dís, Thrór, Thráin_II, Reader, Fallas, Iari,
      Glóin, Avila, Bofur, Turil, Gimli_(Son_of_Glóin)
  Additional Tags:
      Reader-Insert, Erebor, Pre-Lord_of_The_Rings, Pre-The_Hobbit, Crystal
      Gems, Jewelry, Hurt, Happy, Marriage_Proposal, Love, Dwarf_Culture_&
      Customs, Dwarf_Courting, Fluff, Childhood_Friends, Past, Inheritance,
      Feast, Drunkenness, Dwarves, Marriage, Bows_&_Arrows, Attempted_Sexual
      Assault, Dresses, Wedding_Planning, Walking_In_On_Someone, Heartbreak,
      Rape, Rape/Non-con_Elements, Underage_Sex, Angry_Thorin_Oakenshield,
      Middle_Earth, Daggers, Presents, Original_Character_Death(s), Character
      Death, Smaug_-_Freeform, Fire, Danger, Home_Invasion, Pregnancy,
      Cunnilingus, Abduction, Durin's_Day, Celebrations, Drunk_Thorin, Mead,
      Rumors, Weddings, Birth, Scars, Returning_Home, Complete, Plot
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-01-03 Completed: 2016-10-12 Chapters: 20/20 Words: 66320
****** See It Through ******
by trinuil
***** Then and Now *****
Chapter Notes
     I'm currently working on three fics: this, butterflies in the
     mountains and another one. I'm sorry I've been away for so long. It's
     been a shit year, let's be real here.
     This chapter is just an introduction and I'll be posting the next one
     soon I promise.
     Please comment and leave kudos, and as always, enjoy! :)
He was waiting for an answer.
Your heart was pounding in your ears, your mind was hazy and your palms were
clamy. Looking into his pale blue eyes however, you felt like there was only
one answer you should give him.
As a the daughter of a wealthy jeweler, your parents had been preparing you all
your life; polishing your skills, teaching you the tools of their trade and
dressing you in the finest silks gold could buy. All so that one day you can
marry into a worthy household that could better your family’s status.
Of course your parents had your best interests in heart. And you felt obliged
to honor your family’s wishes because they didn’t have a son to sustain their
wealth and expand business. As the eldest daughter, it was your duty to do what
you can to help your family.
In Erebor, just like in any other kingdom, one’s status heavily depended on
their social connections and money. The lucky few who had the opportunity to
have a taste of wealth and power, more often than not would develop an
unquenchable thirst for more.
Your family had been among the many lower-middle class people of Erebor, when
the Valar had smiled down upon your family; a distant relative of yours had
passed away leaving no heir, neither did they have any immediate relatives who
still drew breath.
At the time your father was slaving away in a mine while your mother was
working at a bakery with two children at her hip. So when a letter arrived
baring the news that your father had fallen heir to a very prosperous diamond
mine and an dormant Opal mine, he wasn’t too hesitant to accept. His days of
endless digging and dirt baths were at an end and now he commanded the mines
and could finally afford a decent house and jewels and all the fine things for
his wife and daughters.
Your mother had wept tears of joy that day as she hugged your father. You and
your baby sister had looked on in confusion; you had no idea that countless
doors had opened for you that day.
And now here you stood before one of those open doors.
How handsome he looks; his straight prominent nose, sharp jawline almost
concealed with his short beard, big sky blue eyes and thick locks of black wavy
hair with beads securing his braids.
When your father was invited to court to discuss his newly inherited wealth, of
course he took your very excited mother and his precious dwarflings; you and
your sister Iari, who had just learned to walk. Little did they know, the real
purpose of the invitation was to offer your father the chance to work together
with the major jewelers of the royal family to fashion crowns, jeweled gifts
and the like for the King. Opal was a rarity in Arda, even in the dwarven
mines. But your diseased relative had been a negligent caretaker who had let
the Opal mine fall into disrepair and eventually forgotten. But your father saw
potential and with hope he set about bringing the mine back to life with the
profits of his diamond mine.
You had been peering over a ledge of one of the many walkways that went down
into the depths of the mine while your father was in deep conversation with the
head miner, when a loud voice boomed from seven flights of steps below:
“My Lord! We found it! We found it!”
Your father had grasped your tiny hand and pulled you over his shoulder before
running down to see what the commotion was about. When he reached the dwarf, he
saw the elated expression on his face, “My Lord, Opals! Bigger than Durin’s
fist! His hammer!”, he gasped between laughs, pointing in the direction of his
discovery. Your father followed when he ran towards it, so did the surrounding
dwarfs. You held onto your father’s beard to keep from falling and when you saw
it your eyes widened in wonder and amazement: a huge chunk of the stone wall
had been hacked away to reveal clusters upon clusters of pure Opal. The light
of the torches made the multicolor gems reflect their colours on to the walls,
making the whole space look mystical.
Within a fortnight, word of your good fortune had spread across Erebor, so when
Thror heard of your father’s Opal mine he sent for him at once. You had been
completely baffled by the interior of the palace, especially the throne room
which had intricate columns supporting a heavily jeweled ceiling. The walls
were covered with patterns that encased glittering gems. And there you met the
royal family for the first time. Thror sat on the throne adorned by his royal
garb and a crown that would have made any king jealous. His son, Thráin the
second of his name, stood next to him with his hands clasped behind his back
and a stoic expression on his face.
You had stood there in silence as your parents bowed and began discussing
business. You were too young to have any interest in their conversation. You
had been holding Iari’s hand to keep the toddler from wandering off and at the
same time you were twisting your head in every direction to take in the
stupendous craftsmanship around you. You had been so absorbed in its majesty
that you barely felt your sister’s hand slip out of yours.
It took you awhile to realize that Iari was missing, and when you did you had
panicked. You remember looking around trying to see her blonde head and when
you didn’t you had slowly slipped out of the throne room without your parents
noticing. Racing down one of the many hallways in hopes of finding Iari, you
thought about how much trouble you’d get into with your mother if she notices
you two were missing.
Turning down around a corner you stopped short as relief flooded your body. A
young dwarf had Iari in his arms. Her yellow curls bounced as she squeezed her
amber eyes shut letting out peals of laughter. You shyly walked up to the
dwarf, “Um, excuse me..I’m sorry if she was bothering you”, you said playing
with a lock of your hair. He turned to look at you and smiled while Iari
squealed your name, “Not at all little one. We were having a conversation about
dragons”, he said. Iari giggled and held her arms out, “yeah y/n, I’m a dragon!
RAWR!”. You offered her a smile and took her in your arms. She was much too
heavy for your tiny body and you had to put her down quickly. “Thank you”, you
said to the stranger but before you could turn around to leave he spoke, “You
are the daughters of Keilen Ironfist, are you not?”, his bright blue eyes were
the only feature of him that wasn’t intimidating you realized. You nodded once
and let him continue, “Ah, then I bet your parents are in the throne room
speaking with my father..which is of little interest to you", he chuckled
before noticing your eyes widen in surprise. He smiled and gave you a small
nod, “Permit me to inroduce myself.. Thorin”, you quickly bent in a curtsy, “My
Prince”.
He chuckled for he thought you were the vision of childish innocence, “They
will be in there for quite a while. If you’d like, you could come with me, I
know of someone who likes dragons as much as you do”, he said rubbing his short
beard and throwing a glance at Iari. She gasped and tugged at your arm, “Can
we? Pweeese y/n?”, you hesitated looking over your shoulder in the direction of
the throne room. “I will send someone to let them know where you are little
one”, Thorin smiled.
You accepted his offer and had followed him to an open courtyard filled with
trees, various flowers and butterflies. A dwarfling of your age ran upto Thorin
and threw his small arms around his waist, “Khâzash! (Brother)”. Thorin ruffled
his pitch black hair and spoke, “I have found some new friends for you, Y/N and
Iari. Play with them”, Thorin said gesturing to you and Iari. Pulling back, the
little lord had offered you a grin, “Hello, my name is Frerin. And that’s my
sister Dís”, he pointed to the far end of the courtyard where a little toddler
sat playing with a exquisitely crafted doll. She had her brothers’ blue eyes
along with chestnut brown curls. Frerin had offered you his hand, “Would you
like to play?”, and you took it willingly.
Twelve years later here you stood again with Frerin’s hand in yours in the same
courtyard. He had grown into a fine dwarf; his soft childhood features have
disappeared and were replaced by strong cheekbones and deep set brooding eyes
that lit up only for you. He had just reached maturity and passed his rites of
passage, he wore his newly acquired bead in his thick mane to show it.
You had frequented the palace after that meeting many years ago and it went
without saying that you were very close with the princes and princess. Your
mother had of coursed encouraged it in hopes that one day one of the princes
will fancy you.
Did you love Frerin? Of course you did. He had been your closest friend, you
trusted him with your life. He had been there when you cut your first tooth,
shot your first arrow, he had been there to wipe away your tears when you fell
down the steps in Thror’s treasure hold. And this was what your parents have
been waiting for…so much depended on what you would say next; Frerin’s heart,
your parents’ future and yours.
You knew Frerin would never make you unhappy, he would provide you with
everything your heart desired…and he truly loved you.
There was no real reason to refuse him.
You gave his hand a tight squeeze and smiled, “Yes.. my prince, I will marry
you”. His eyes lit up with pure joy as he pulled you closer, “I was so afraid
you’d say no”, he whispered. You blushed looking down, he lightly brushed a
lock of your hair away from your burning cheek, “I’m aware that I skipped the
part where I was to court you before I asked for your hand…I will spend the
rest of my life making it up to you Gimleluh (my star of stars).“ He rested his
forehead on yours and his âzyungâl bead clinking against your own. You too had
received it only a few months ago when you got your first blood.
“I knew I’d have no other, if not you. I may never be King, but I swear upon
Aule that I will treat you like a Queen”, his words warmed your soul. He was a
shy dwarf especially when it came to matters of the heart and you wouldn’t have
known of his feelings for you had he not told you so. There was the occasional
compliment and lingering glances that you felt were out of character for
Frerin, but you’ve always dismissed them without a second thought. “Frerin, I
will be honored to share my life with you”, you said with a smile.
He chuckled as you slowly brought your hands up to rest on his chest over his
blue and gold embroidered tunic, while his free arm encircled your waist and
closed the gap between you two. Your heart raced as you looked into his eyes,
“May I kiss you?”, he asked in a barely audible whisper; your cheeks reddened,
your reply was to slowly lean in by a fraction. His lips met yours. Your
fingers curled into his tunic, your eyes slid shut. He smelled like he always
did, like pine needles mixed with a pleasant sort of musk. His lips felt soft
but rigid and tasted of nothing, but he was gentler than the breeze that danced
through the flowers in the courtyard. Both of you pulled back and when he
opened his eyes and you saw that he looked a bit dazed, "I-”, he was cut off by
Dís’ voice echoing across the courtyard.
“Frerin! Do hurry! You’ve kept me waiting long enough.”
Frerin sighed, “Forgive me, I do not want to leave you. Not like this. But I
will see you tonight at the feast”, he kissed your cheek before letting go of
you. You bent your head as a sign of respect, “Think nothing of it”, you
smiled. He bowed and started walking towards Dís.
You took in a deep breath and leaned against a tree to steady your nerves. You
were to wed one of the princes. A smile crept to your lips, you couldn’t help
feeling excited, you couldn’t ask for a better husband.
Fixing the sliver corset that pinched your waist and teal dress into a perfect
hourglass figure, you started towards one of the hallways. You reached the top
of the stairs when you froze. Thorin was leaning against the wall with his arms
folded across his chest, gazing out into the courtyard. He shifted his gaze to
you and nodded, “Congratulations, Y/N”. His baritone voice carried a note of
coldness. Was he mad at you? Did he think you unworthy of his brother? You
didn’t have time to respond for he was already walking away.
You kept on walking but your breathing became ragged and you had stop and lean
against the wall to support your weight, for your legs have failed you. You
felt hot tears stream down your face.
Ah yes. Indeed you loved Frerin. But were you in love with him? No. Because you
were in love with Thorin.
***** Every Breath I Draw Will Be For You *****
Chapter Notes
     I know this is way too long and I'm sorry!
     This is why it took so long..
     Welp. Enjoy! <3 And leave kudos and comments :)
“Frerin!”, you called out between peals of laughter. Dead leaves and twigs
snapped under your feet as you ran through the forest. Your pretty pink dress
was almost drenched from trailing on the dewy ground, but what did you care?
You were a free teenager, careless and harebrained.
You stopped short and looked around, he couldn’t have gone far, “Alright,
Frerin. You win! Come out now”, you called loudly. It was a silly game anyway.
The forest looked darker than it usually did, you observed whole looking up
towards the sky, the light was blocked off by the tall trees and their
intertwining branches. Everything appeared green and otherworldly in what
little light that managed to filter through the leaves.
You spun around suddenly when you heard a nearby thicket of bushes rustled.
Grinning, you picking up your skirts you dashed towards it.
Breaking out through the bushes you promised yourself that next time you’d
think twice before charging in head first. “Y/N!”, you heard Frerin shout from
somewhere behind you but he was too far away to help.
You dug your heels into the dirt coming to a halt before a startled white elk.
It stood up on its hind legs, towering over you; you held your hands over your
face as you realized that it was going to crush you.
Terror had frozen your body, your eyes were squeezed shut as you awaited your
demise. But all you heard was the sound of something whizzing past your ears
and soon you felt an arm wrap around your waist as you were lifted up and
pulled to the side. You opened your eyes when you heard a loud thud.
Throrin looked angry.
“Are you hurt?”, he demanded.
All you could do was shake your head and look over your shoulder at where the
elk had stood. It was now laying on its side with three arrows buried in its
chest and red blood coating its white fur.
Thorin slung his bow over his shoulder before easing you out of his grasp. His
eyes ran over your form, inspecting for any damage done like he couldn’t take
your word.
“Th-thank you”, you said regaining your speech.
You tried to steady your breathing and find your bearings.
Thorin didn’t seem to hear your words of gratitude, “ What are you doing
here?”, he snapped.
“Thorin! Thank Durin you were here”, Frerin said a little out of breath as he
ran over to you.
“Yes, what if I hadn’t been?”, Thorin asked with fire in his eyes and ice in
his tone, “I told you that you weren’t ready to be out in these parts of the
forest”. Frerin held on to his dagger and moved to speak but Thorin cut him
off, “She could have been fatally injured or worse. Youcould have been hurt”.
You knew that Thorin loved his siblings above life and he couldn’t stand to see
them being soft-headed. If you knew Thorin, you can believe that he took the
tough love method to discipline his baby brother.
Frerin bent his head in shame.
You couldn’t let Frerin take the blame for this, “Thorin, it wasn’t his fault”,
you said trying to trying to speak in a steady voice, “He didn’t want me to
come with him. He said it was too dangerous..”, at that moment you realized
that your hand was still in his, “..I didn’t listen”. You tried to retrieve
your hand but he tightened his hold on you instead, you turned your head up to
meet his gaze and when he didn’t respond you hung our head waiting for a
scolding.
“He should have known better than to have come himself”, Thorin said a little
less harshly this time. He turned to leave pulling you along, “I’ll escort you
back to the palace, Y/n. And Frerin, if you truly wish to prove yourself this
badly, Dwalin is waiting through there. You two can bring that elk home for the
feast tonight”.
Frerin was more than happy to comply with Thorin’s small request. Thorin
whistled and his pony cantered up to him, picking you up he placed you on the
saddle before getting on himself. You looked over your shoulder as Thorin
kicked the pony into a gallop, you threw Frerin a smile as he mouthed that
he’ll see you soon.
===============================================================================
You fixed a loose bead in your hair, making sure that half your ankle length
hair was secure in the coil of braid that rested around your head. You ran your
fingers through the other half of your hair that fell lose around you with tiny
Opal beads sparsely distributed among it. You lowered the gold chalice you were
admiring your reflection on and drank the last bit of mead before setting it
down on the closest table.
The hall looked grand like it always did when the royal family held a feast. A
thousand candles illuminated the large room, tapestries depicting stories of
old adorned the stone walls, numerous rows of tables stood holding up a variety
of mouthwatering food. And of course there was no shortage of ale, mead or rum.
Lively music played without pause, lutes, fiddles, tambourines, viols, drums
and harps all provided tunes for the merry drunken dwarrows and dwarrowdams to
dance to.
You clapped along with the onlookers only to be pulled to the side by your
mother, “Y/n! I’ve been looking all over for you!”, you sighed, ever since you
told your parents of your engagement to Frerin, your mother hasn’t let you had
a single second to yourself. She’s been harassing you about setting a date,
fabrics for your wedding dress, food and flowers when all you wanted was to
avoid the subject all together…at least for now. “I was just getting something
to drink”, you supplied.
“When do you suppose Frerin will make the news public?”, your mother asked in a
hushed voice. You shrugged, “Khagun (mother), it’s only been a few hours since
he asked me. It may take awhile”, you said trying to stay calm. Your mother
sighed and smoothed your satin dress. It was a beautiful green, the color of
young leaves in spring, the sleeves were long and finished around your wrists,
the neckline was deep enough to show off your assets and high enough to
preserve your modesty. Your mother had laced the gold corset tighter than she
usually did, so that your waist and hips were more prominent. You had completed
the outfit with a beautiful diamond choker from which a single emerald hung in
the shape of a teardrop and for your ears; a pair of matching emerald earrings.
Your mother ran a figure under your jawline and smiled at you, “You are
beautiful, my little girl”, her voice almost cracked as she looked on with love
in her eyes. You smiled back, everything she did..she did for your sake.
“Âkminrûk zu, Khagun (Thank you, mother)”, you say just before you hear someone
clear their throat behind you.
You spun around to face a blond dwarf with a rather long beard to match. He
held his hand out, “If I may introduce myself m'lady, I am Fallas of the
Firebeards”, your mother nudged you to take his hand and so you did. She’s been
pressing you to expand your circle of friends and acquaintances at court, more
people you know, the easier life gets…at least that’s what she’s been telling
you.
“Y/n”, you bent in a curtsy to which the young Firebeard chucked at, “Of course
I know who you are. Every dwarf from Erebor to Eriador is speaking of you and
your family’s good fortunes”. You stifled a sigh, does everything in this place
revolve around riches?
“Indeed”, you smiled, “and how fares your family?”, you knew that his family
were Lords in Belegost and one of the wealthiest families in all of Ered Luin.
Not because you cared to indulge in talk of money but because Iari couldn’t
seem to talk of anyone but this dwarf for many moons now. Ever since he set
foot in Erebor for the feast, all the young dwarrowdam seem to have lost their
better judgement and fallen for his charm. You were never the one to fall
solely for looks and a sideways smirk, but when he asked for a dance and looked
at you with his big green eyes, you cursed yourself for accepting.
Your feet did their best to keep up with the fast beat of the song while Fallas
spun you around,
“I’ve never seen such radiance in all my life”, he smiled as he snaked his arm
around your waist. You smiled politely, “Have you been in Erebor long?”.
“A week. Since it is my first time here, I wanted to arrive early and have a
look around. I must say, this place had me the minute I walked in. I feel like
I should stay..”, he said looking you in the eye. This made you uncomfortable
for some reason, the cheery look in his eyes was overshadowed by something that
looked akin to desperation. Then it was gone in a second.
“Would you like to show me around? I’m sure there’s plenty of sightseeing left
to do”, he laughed as he spun you around one more time before the song came to
an end, “and I’m also willing to bet you know these parts like the back of your
hand”, you were about to reply when Iari grabbed your hand. Thank Mahal.
“Y/n! Khazush (sister)…aren’t you going to introduce us?”, she grinned.
“Uh..yes..Iari, this is Fallas of the Firebeards. This is my sister.”, you said
stepping away from Fallas. Iari extended her hand all too willingly as he took
it and kissed it. You couldn’t help rolling your eyes, you loved Iari but had
you been this ardent and twittery when you were a teenager? You sincerely hoped
not.
“As beautiful as her sister”, Fallas chuckled looking back and forth between
you two. You had to agree there, Iari was most definitely growing to be a
beautiful dwarrowdam; her blonde hair was now a rich shade of gold and reached
her waist in voluptuous curls, her eyes almost matched her hair. She had full
pink lips that she pulled into a pout whenever she wanted to get her way (which
she always did). But she had yet to gain her âzyungâl bead for she was still
dwarfling.
“I was just telling y/n how I’d love her to show me around the city. I’m afraid
my navigation skills are poor and will surely get lost”.
“Oh! I’d love to show you Erebor! Besides y/n doesn’t like traversing around
the city. She’d much rather read her books”, Iari laughed. She wasn’t wrong…you
prefer the company of books over a stranger any day.
Before Fallas could respond, the large double doors swung open and the King
along with his son and grandsons walked in. The crowd of people parted for them
as everyone bowed.
You took this opportunity to slowly back away from everyone into the shadows.
Smiling and pretending to know everyone who runs up to talk to you can be very
draining. All you needed right now was a tankard of ale and a little peace. The
music began to fill the hall again as people started crowding the dance floor.
You hurried to one of the tables and asked one of the servants for a tankard,
“Of course m’lady. One it is”, he smiled.
“Um..actually..make that two please”.
You took the two large tankards and walked over to a far corner which wasn’t
occupied by many people. Climbing the short set of stone steps you ascended to
the small balcony that overlooked the hall. You slunk into the shadows near the
open window and chugged half the tankard in one go. You placed the other
tankard on the windowsill as you looked out into the night sky. It was peaceful
and quieter on this side of the hall.
In minutes both tankards were empty. “W-elll..that’ss fourteen..tonightt”, you
counted on your fingers. That was a personal best. You were too absorbed in
your own blurred thoughts that you didn’t hear heavy footsteps approaching you.
“All alone, love?”
You looked over your shoulder to see a clearly drunk dwarf. You remember seeing
him around, but you feel that way about most people at court. You wobbled on
your feet before placing your hands on the windowsill.
He hiccuped before continuing, “W-wou-ld the prettyyy lady like to dance?”.
You tried to gain your motor skills back because you sensed trouble, “N-no.
Thank you. I’m going home now.”
“Aw c’mon noww..don’t be like *hiccup* thaaat”, he swayed dangerously before
taking a step towards you, “Just one dance…and mebbe later I could tak-e yer
home..”. You flattened against the wall, “No!”, but he made a grab for you
anyway.
“The lady said no”, Thorin had grabbed his arm in a death grip before pulling
him away from you.
The strange dwarf was not happy, “Who do you th-ink yer are to lay-handss on
me, boy!”, he was clearly too far gone to realize who he was talking to. Thorin
grabbed him by the fur of his coat, “Listen here you rat, stay the hell away
from her, or I hurl you from the window”, with that he shoved him towards the
top of the steps. The dwarf being too drunk missed his footing and fell down
the stairs. Maybe he passed out there, maybe he thought twice about attacking
Thorin; whatever the reason, you didn’t see him again that night.
Thorin turned around to see you clutching at your corset and gasping for
breath. He ran over to you and knelt with a frantic look on his face, “Y/n!
What–what do I do?”, he asked reaching out but not touching you.
You heaved trying to stop from vomiting, “Corset..take it off”, you gasped. You
didn’t see the slight blush that colored his cheeks before his fingers worked
fast at the knot. You weren’t used to lacing this tight all the drinking you’ve
been doing and the slight traumatic experience you just underwent caused you to
hyperventilate.
“By my beard..curse this dress”, Thorin growled trying to loosen the knot, a
few seconds later he succeeded and he loosened the corset. You took a deep
breath while blood rushed to your waist. You leaned your head against the wall
as it spun like a top, you closed your eyes and concentrated on keeping
yourself from emptying the contents of your stomach on the floor.
“Feel better now, Y/n?”, Thorin questioned gently. You nodded once and opened
your eyes turning to face him. “Everything is spinning though”, you slurred. A
faint smile crossed Thorin’s lips, “You know you get drunk easily…best watch
how much you drink. But I always say that and you never listen”. For a dwarf,
you did get drunk easy enough and you’d think that you’d have built a good
tolerance over the years attending many dwarven feasts. But no, you just could
not hold your alcohol.
You grinned at him, “I listen to you”.
“Oh do you now?”
“Well, once when I was eleven you told me never to scratch an itch..that it
would bring bad luck. Ever since then, I’ve resisted scratching anything”, you
mumbled. Thorin looked at you with a funny look, “What in Durin’s…”.
Then he remembered you having the chickenpox when you were young. You were
constantly scratching at them and it hindered the healing process and to make
you stop he had played on the superstition that when you have an itch it was a
bad omen.
He let out an amused laugh, “Y/n, you really are something”, but you failed to
what was so funny. His laugh, however, was captivating and beautiful, mostly
because it was a commodity. He looked very princely tonight; on the back of his
silver tunic, the sigil of the house of Durin was embroidered in gold thread,
he wore a heavy leather belt with a silver buckle that had a sapphire in the
middle. The usual metal beads he wore in his braids were replaced with gold and
silver ones, save for his wooden âzyungâl bead.
You opened your mouth to say something but was interupted when Dís appeared on
the top of the stairs, “There you are, Y/n! Frerin is looking for you. I think
it’s important”, the young dwarfling chirped. You turned pale.
“Are you alright Y/n?”, Dís asked taking a step closer, worry written all over
her face. You nodded vigorously, “Yes I’m quite alright. I will be with you in
just a moment”, you half smiled. Dís looked unsure for a second before she
nodded and headed back down the stairs.
You turned your head to look at Thorin, “I can barely stand. How..”.
He got on his feet and offered you his hand which you took, he then gently
lifted you up, making sure you were on your feet he slowly turned you around so
that you were facing the window.
“Well, first lets get this this thing back on you”, he said gathering the laces
in his hands. He pulled making sure he didn’t hurt you as you grabbed the
windowsill for support. You couldn’t help giggling, “Thorin, you’re supposed to
pull harder”, this only made him increase his efforts by a fraction. “I know
you’re much more stronger than this”, you taunted playfully.
He finally got it tightened enough to keep it from sliding off and you also
heard something along the lines of “bloody torture device” under his breath.
You turned around and backed up into the wall, Thorin was still absorbed in
making your dress appear acceptable, he reached out and smoothed the corset
around your waist. You watched his every move, his face was set in stone as he
concentrated on the task at hand.
You loved this dwarf so much.
He has always been there for you. You loved the way he cared, the way he moved,
the way he thought and way he made you feel..
The alcohol in your blood made you bold, you reached up and traced a finger
down the side of his face, "Thorin...".
His eyes widened in surprise, his hands stilled around your hips, "Yes?", he
breathed.
"Thorin...", you repeated helplessly. You squeezed your eyes shut, praying that
he understood your feelings without you having to voice them. How could you
possibly expect him to love you? Your status wasn't high enough for the eldest
prince of Erebor to pledge his heart to.
You opened your eyes and you could have sworn that you pain flicker across his
face for a brief moment. But you could have been imagining it, after all, you
were heavily intoxicated.
"I should go", you said retrieving your arms from resting on his chest. He
nodded before letting you out of his grasp. You took a step forward and fell
back into his arms. "I got you", he smiled.
You groaned in annoyance, why did you drink so much? "Here, take my arm. I'll
walk with you", he offered and you took it gratefully. He walked slowly giving
you enough time to put one foot in front of the other without tripping. "Y/n,
one of your beads fell off", he said bending over to pick up the Opal that had
fallen.
"Y/n! There you are!", you looked to your right and saw Frerin walk over to you
with a bright grin. Smiling you took his outstretched hand as Thorin let go of
your other hand. He was dressed in red and blue with jeweled chains and a
crown. He kissed your hand and then your cheek, "I thought now would be a good
time to announce our..engagement. I spoke to father and grandfather about it
earlier today and they wish to bestow their blessings on us tonight". You were
extremely nervous for some reason but you knew there was no going back now so
you nodded. You turned to see that Thorin has already left to your dismay.
Frerin lead you to the platform on which the long banquet table on which the
king and his sons dined and watch the feast unfold from. You bowed low before
Thrór and Thrain. Thrór looked distracted like he had much on his mind, which
he probably did given that he was the King. He offered you a quick smile and
continued to look right through you, Thrain on the other hand was more
friendly, "Congratulations, my dear. Your family has been very loyal and
helpful to my family and I wholeheartedly think that Frerin couldn't have
chosen wiser. You have been his companion through his childhood and now you
will help him through the trials of adult life. My father and I hope that
Mahal's hammer shields you both from challenges ahead.", Thrain stood bowing
his head.
"And Frerin, khuzd tada bijebî âysîthi mud oshmâkhî dhi zurkur ughvashâhu (a
dwarf that chooses to take a wife must guard her as his greatest treasure)",
Thrór said as if he had a moment of clarity before settling back into his
thoughts.
Frerin bowed again, and smiled at you, "I will. Every second of my life, every
breath I draw will be for you".
Your throat felt dry, "I promise to cherish you for the length of my life, my
prince", you managed to say as you bit back tears. His words were pure and full
of promise and it moved you to tears.
Thrain nodded in approval at what he'd just heard. He beckoned you to turn
towards the crowd, "My people of Erebor...my brothers and sisters. Tonight is a
joyous night indeed. We've much to celebrate. Not only did we successfully
established trade routs with western Belegost..", he paused to allow a wave of
applause and cheer to sweep through the hall before continuing, "...my youngest
son, Prince Frerin has chosen to take a bride". Thrain took Frerin's hand and
put it in yours, "I give my blessing and your King gives his and recognizes
this union". Another wave of cheer erupted and your eyes swept the crowd till
you spotted your mother clinging to your father weeping tears of joy while your
father looked proudly on. Your sister was clapping with a big smile on her face
as she stood next to an indifferent Fallas.
"Let us drink to Lady Y/n and my very lucky son!", Thrain chuckled as he lifted
his jewel encrusted goblet in the air while every dwarf present did the same :
"To the happy couple!", they cheered.
You gave up searching the crowds. Thorin was nowhere to be found. But could you
blame him? How could he watch the woman he loved be given away to his brother?
It hurt him deeply. But of course you didn't know that.
***** An Uneventful Day *****
Chapter Notes
     Here ya go! :D
     Comment and leave kudos <3
You woke up the next day in your large bed with a hangover you’d never forget.
Your throat was parched and your stomach was growling. Pushing off the silk
covers you clambered on to your feet and headed downstairs hoping to see your
mother in the kitchen with breakfast at the ready. Instead you found the house
empty and after gulping down a glass of water, you walked into the sitting room
to find some paper.
“Oh good, you’re awake”, Iari said curled up in an armchair by the fireplace.
She had a piece of parchment in her hands, “What’s that?”, you asked intrigued.
She folded it up as her pale cheeks flushed crimson, “A messenger just arrived
with these”, she said motioning to the sealed letters on the table before her,
“You’ve got one too…and I got one from Fallas”
You rolled your eyes, “Iari, he’s just after father’s money, I do solemnly hope
you know that”, you walked over to the table and sifted through the pile of
letters and when you saw the letter addressed to your name, you picked it up.
In the meantime Iari had taken on an air of offense, “You can’t possibly know
that. You don’t know him..he’s a proper gentledwarf”, she preened.
You tried to stifle a snort, “If it suits you”. You flopped down on the
armchair opposite Iari and read the contents of the letter. Even before you
opened it you knew it was from Frerin and it surprised you less to find out
that he requests your presence at the palace to discuss ceremonial matters with
planners and such. After folding the letter you looked over at Iari who was
grinning from ear to ear as she reread the letter from Fallas.
You smiled not unsympathetic to the excitement of a new love interest, “What
does he say?”, you asked.
She studied your face to make sure you weren’t trying to poke fun at her and
when she was certain, “Well..he is to pick me up today to show him around
Erebor and…oh, he says the sweetest things, Y/n!”, she blushed. You laughed,
“The tossers usually do”.
Iari frowned, “Must you criticize all my choices?”, you raised an eyebrow, “Do
I? Or are you a complete ninnyhammer most of the time?”. She bolted to her
feet, her petite face burning red, “I’m not a ninny..ham..what is that even
supposed to mean?!”. You just couldn’t help but laugh, “Iari dear, I only mean
the best for you. Just…just be careful.”
===============================================================================
After grabbing a bite to eat, you put on a powder pink gossamer dress with
split poet sleeves and a diamond encrusted stomacher. You hopped off your pony
and handed the reigns to one of the many royal stable boys, then picking up the
gold laced skirts of your dress you climbed the stone steps to the palace’s
library.
You stood before the large metal embossed door and took a deep breath: you were
going to be Frerin’s wife in a matter of days. It will be your duty to make him
happy and make sure your marriage runs a smooth course else risk marring the
reputation of the house of Durin and your family’s. It will be scandalous. You
knew you’d be able to love Frerin like he needed you to, he was a good dwarf;
loyal, trustworthy, good tempered and above all, he desired you over anything
this earth had to offer. It wasn’t difficult, all you had to do was try. But
you had to stop chasing this fantasy of a life with Thorin, because it will
never happen.
You pushed the door open and stepped in. He sat at a large desk across the room
with piles of parchment and stacks of thick leather bound books scattered over
it. His head snapped up towards the door the second he heard it open hoping
that you had arrived at last. A big smile graced his face and he stood up as
you walked over to him. You returned the smile as you took his outstretched
hand, once he placed a kiss on the back of your hand he pulled you closer.
“Zûr zataaanaazu ‘ala bakn, katagilemul habanuh? (How fare you this morning, my
sparking gem?)”, he asked running his thumb across your cheek.
“Bizarur ahelekh menu uzbad. Razu? (I’m wonderful, my lord. And you?)”.
“Raspu men. (I’m fine)”.
You just stared at eachother for a while in silence with smiles on your lips.
His eyes wandered to your lips ever so often that you couldn’t help brightening
your smile: never had you met a more shy dwarf.
“Mukhuh? (May I?)”, he asked.
You let out a short laugh and took a quick step forward, closing the gap
between you two. You closed your eyes as your lips pressed against his and had
you left them open you’d have seem the look of sheer amazement then it melted
away into happiness as he slid his eyelids shut as well. You wrapped your arms
around his neck and pulled him closer while he wrapped his around your waist.
His beard was a nice contrast to the softness of his lips, his tongue slowly
slipped into your slightly parted mouth while your fingers intertwined in his
hair. He pulled back abruptly and you looked at him confused, he chuckled and
let go of you and reached into one of the drawers in his desk.
“We rushed everything last night and I forgot to give you this”, he pulled out
a purple velvet pouch held closed by a gold pull string, you took it from his
hand and emptied the contents onto your palm. It was a silver and gold fused
bead with the symbol of the house of Durin made out with red beryl gems and
flower buds made of pink diamonds curling around. It was breathtakingly
beautiful and the craftsmanship that went into it was most definitely
exquisite.
“Did you make this?”, you asked awestruck.
“No. I thought I would make quite a mess of it if I tried to make something
quite as delicate as a courting bead. My expertise lay in the field of weaponry
and such.”
You smiled, it wasn’t unheard of for the wealthier families to buy their
courting trinkets instead of making them themselves…which was the tradition and
has been so for many a year. You couldn’t possibly expect a prince to spare his
valuable time to make jewelery.
You sat down on the chair Frerin was sitting on when you arrived, reaching up
you slowly undid your hair letting it fall around you and lay on the floor in
thick waves. Frerin’s breath hitched in his throat, his eyes trailed along the
length of your hair. “Well my lord? Aren’t you going to put the bead in my
hair?”, you asked glancing over your shoulder at his bewitched face. He took a
step towards you and reached out to touch your soft hair, his hand almost
shook. Slowly he ran his fingers through the section of your hair near your
left temple. His touch was gentle and cautious, and you found yourself relaxing
into it.
Avoiding the section of hair that was already braided to hold your âzyungâl
bead, he gathered a small handful of hair above it and began braiding. Once he
reached the very end of the length of your hair you handed him the bead and he
secured the braid.
You looked at the finished braid and saw that it matched the style of his
braids. “Thank you”, you smiled at him, he simply offered you a slight nod. You
stood up, “Here, please sit. Let me do yours”. He chuckled, “I wasn’t expecting
that”.
The second you told your mother of Frerin’s proposal she had pestered your
father into drawing up plans for various types of beads. You had settled for
one he had finished this morning, you thought it simple and elegant at the same
time. It was a black opal cut into a bead. You’ve always liked how the
multicolored specs looked against the darkness of the stone. The edges were
trimmed with solid gold runes that spelled your name in khuzdul. And between
each rune there rested a single tiny amethyst.
Once he was seated you took out the main clasp that held the front section of
his hair back. You saw that he was fiddling with his fingers and you laughed
softly, “Are you nervous my lord?”. He took in a deep breath as you ran your
fingers over his scalp, “Don’t be”, you whispered in his ear and placed a kiss
next to his brow. You quickly made a braid over his right ear in the same style
you did your braid and fastened the bead at the end. You gathered half his hair
at the back of his head and replaced the silver clasp.
“There”, you stepped in front of him as he took your hands in his. “You look
beautiful today Y/n…well you look beautiful all the time in my eyes”, he said
out the blue. You blushed, “You mustn’t praise me so..”
“I was stating a fact. It was merely the truth”, he pulled you closer till you
were sitting on his lap. To be honest, this was a bit uncomfortable because you
two had grown up as friends and not once had you any sort of intimate contact
before he had proposed. He might have touched your hand or something of the
like but you’ve never thought anything of it. And now as you looked at his
handsome dwarven features, you could feel something stir in you.
You broke eye contact with him and looked back at the mess on the desk, “I’ve
never seen you take on so much work before..”.
He laid his head back against the chair and sighed, “Thorin disappeared on a
hunting trip after the feast last night and here I am doing his work for him.
He can be rather selfish at times. He knows I have a lot on my plate as it
is…and the wedding is barely planned out…I wonder what he’s thinking”.
You quickly pushed thoughts and images of Thorin out of your mind as soon as
they began to take form. “You don’t have to worry about the wedding ceremonies.
I will tend to them”, you said starting to get up but instead he pulled you
back down.
“You don’t have to. My people are tending to that and your mother arrived
earlier this morning and I believe she is running the whole ordeal”, he
laughed.
“Yes, well I should probably have some sort of part in all this”, you said
feeling a tad bit guilty. How do you even plan a royal wedding? Where do you
start?
“You do have a part”, he chuckled, “you’re the bride”.
You rolled your eyes before giving him a slight peck on his lips, “You know
what I mean”. His hands traveled up your back, tracing the tight lacing of your
dress till he reached the base of your neck.
“What do you know of planning feasts? You’re just as lost in the matter as I
am”, he pushed you towards him till your lips met his again, he broke the kiss
and left a smattering of soft kisses up your jaw and on your ear.
You giggled as you sat upright again, “Be that as it may, I must insist that I
leave you be. You haven’t gotten any of your work done since I got here”, you
said motioning to the desk.“But I like the distraction”, he smirked running his
hands down your waist which sent shivers up your spine. Maybe he wasn’t all
that shy after all. “But your father wouldn’t”, you said standing up, “you’ve
got a kingdom to help run, madtubirzul (golden heart) ”. Frerin sighed in
defeat as he let your hand slip out of his. You took his face in your hands,
“I’ll see you again before I leave”, you placed a deep kiss on his parted lips
before walking up to the door.
You walked down the busy palace halls, occasionally stopping to respond to the
cheery greetings and congratulations on the engagement. You had taken a few
steps after bidding Avila, Glóin’s newlywed wife a good day when you nearly
bumped into Dís. “I’m so glad I found you, y/n. Do you know where I might find
Iari? She was supposed to meet me today to go to Dale. She’s already an hour
late..”, Dís looked at you with her big doe eyes.
You put two and two together and figured that Iari had completely forgotten
about her plans with her friend when she received that letter from Fallas.
"I'm sorry Dís, I haven't seen her since I left home", you gave a sympathetic
look.
Her face fell, "Well I guess I'd have to go alone then". Of course when Dís
said "alone", she meant her full brigade of guards and a few of her handmaiden.
But you understood that that was no company.
You smiled, "How about you help me find my mother and I'll accompany you to
Dale?", her face lit up in an instant. "They're in the east study", she said
taking your hand and leading you there.
You pushed the double doors open and stepped in to find your mother standing at
the head of a table with a few others sitting around her. They were either
scribbling things down on parchment, testing out samples of food and drink or
sifting through boxes of gems and jewels. Your mother was conversing with two
of the dwarrowdam who sat on either side of her while going through a big book
of fabric samples.
You felt intimidated by the ambience of the room, everyone was talking with
each other in low businesslike tones and it looked like they were enjoying
themselves but it felt like they were under a lot of pressure. Mostly because
of your mother you were willing to bet.
"Derr, I told you crystals looktacky . Just toss them away. Pick something
bright..extravagant and expensive . It's a royal wedding for Mahal's sake. And
Heloise, i know i said Gardenias would do but be a dear and put in moon flowers
instead? I changed my mind."
And all of a sudden you wanted to be anywhere but here. Dís walked in pulling
you along. "Y/n..just the person I was looking for", your mother smiled. You
laughed nerously, "Really...". Dís sat down in an empty chair and began
stuffing her mouth with various types of chocolate and desserts. Your mother
raised an eyebrow at her meaning to make her stop, but probably because she was
royal, your mother held her tongue.
Instead she started holding up different samples of fabric against your exposed
collar collar bone. "Uh, is this really necessary? I mean..right now? We
haven't even set a date for the wedding..."
Your mother laughed, "Of course you have. The first day of summer".
Your eyes widened, so soon? "But that's in three weeks! I never agreed to that
date...mama, must you dictate everything that goes on in my life?", you snapped
a little flustered.
She barely seemed to notice your outburst, "Thráin agreed to the date, so I
really don't see why not. I think this shade of white and the texture of this
fabric will work very well together". You let out a frustrated groan. "Hush up
missy. There'll be plenty of time to complain when you're married. Now, we just
need to find a good, respectable seamstress".
Before she had time to say another word Dís piped up, "I get my dresses made by
a seamstress from Dale. She's been making our family's dresses for generations.
I'm going to see her today with Y/n, maybe you can settle something with her".
"Thank Yavanna. Dís dear, how are you finding the pineapple pastries?".
"Dey're preffy goof", she replied through a stuffed mouth.
"Right. Derr, put that down for the feast then", your mother hurried over to
Dís to get more information about the dresses.
You walked behind the busy dwarves, looking at the different flowers,
decorations and invitations written in different scripts and inks. The door
opened slightly and Avila stepped in quietly. She smiled when she saw you
walking around with a confused expression on your face like a lost puppy. She
was all too familiar to the feeling, her mother had run her wedding too and she
remembered all the questions she wished someone had answered for her. Her
mother had been all too eager to have her wed into the house of Durin that she
barely thought about asking Avila of her thoughts on the matter. Not that Avila
had any objections to marrying Glóin; he was a sweet and caring dwarf and she
loved him, but it would have been nice to have had some sort of say in planning
the ceremony.
Just as quietly as she entered, Avila made her was over to you and stood behind
you as you stared at a long thick chords of beautiful knots in different
materials with silver charms incorporated into them. "They're a tradition. A
superstitious thing really", you turned around to face Avila, "Oh? What are
they for?".
"They hang these around every doorway the bride might go through. In your case,
every doorway in the palace will bear these", she laughed, "These are supposed
to ward off bad luck and bring protection". She picked up one of the beautiful
festive ropes, "You see this charm here?", she held out a ruby encased in a
fine silver mesh, "It has a bit of gold in the gem. It is supposed to bring
prosperity. And this one here..", she pointed to a beautiful diamond flower
that held a topaz in the middle, "is supposed to bring a couple lots of
dwarflings". You flushed, "Well..let's hope they work", you mumbled.
Avila laughed, "in any case, did you like the flowers they've picked out..and
did you see the decorations?"
You shrugged and Avila tutted, "That won't do. Come along, we've much to
discuss", she took hold of your hand and pulled you along, "Y/n, this can be
fun you know".
===============================================================================
And you did have fun. Avila made sure you had a say in the decisions that were
being made and she explained most of the things that were new to you. And by
the end of it all, you found that you had made a friend.
Avila was shy in nature but not introverted and was candid when it was required
of her. You found that she was opinionated and witty and detested unfair
treatment. It was fair ti say that she was just as beautiful as her mind. She
had light brown eyes fringed with thick black lashes that matched her wavy
raven black hair. The most eye catching feature on her face, however, was her
tiny upturned nose that was covered in a smattering of freckles that ran across
her face.
Off of a sudden, everyone stood up from their chairs and you looked around till
you finally saw Frerin walk in.
“Good. You’re still here”, he smiled as everyone slowly fell back into their
work.
Your mother hurried past you, “Not for long, I’m afraid, my prince. She has
work to attend to in Dale”.
“The horses are ready. We can leave when you’re ready”, Dís said getting up.
“You’re going too then?”, Frerin asked Dís who simply nodded, “I’ve a fitting
and I need a new dress for your wedding”.
Frerin looked at you, “I suppose I could come along too..if you don’t mind”.
“Not at all”, you smiled.
“But, what interest do you have in dresses? You’ve been acting quite peculiar
lately, Frerin”, Dís said with a genuine look of confusion on her face. Her
innocence was almost amusing. Your mother must have felt the same for she
laughed.
“I have other matters to tend to in Dale. And besides I thought you might need
a little help prettying up your wardrobe, little sister”, Frerin threw a mock
look of disgust at Dís’ dress before dissolving into laughter. Dís rolled her
eyes and stuck her tongue out at her big brother.
===============================================================================
You stood still on the little stool as the helpers took your measurements. Dís
was already done with her dresses and now sat waiting for you and your mother.
Frerin really did have business at Dale and he left leaving you with the
promise of returning.
Your mother was talking with the head seamstress about designs, cuts and
embroidery. She had your father send over crates of gems and she had gold and
silver bought and sent over to be used in making the dress.
“All done, m’lady”, one of the helpers smiled and you got down and made your
way over to your mother.
“Y/n, I’ve decided on seven of these dresses. You’ll love them!”, she grinned
as she handed the designs over to the seamstress.
You gaped at your mother, “seven?”.
“Oh dear..maybe you’re right. Here. Add these two dresses to the order as
well”.
“Khagun! (Mother!) I don’t need nine dresses..of this sort”.
“You need options. You will try them all and pick the best and if ,Mahal
forbid, something were to happen to that dress, you’ll have another”, she
explained.
Dís walked over to you as your mother began to ask a plethora of questions from
the seamstress, “Come on, let’s go somewhere less boring”, she whispered.
Though she was a naive dwarfling, she could understand when someone was in need
of help. At this point, you almost jumped at the offer.
Both of you quietly sneaked out slipped past the royal guards that awaited you
outside the building. You got as far the small bridge in the middle of Dale
since it was almost sundown and most people were closing their shops, packing
up their stalls and going home for the night.
Dís came to a stop in the middle of the stone bridge and peered into the
gurgling stream of water below. You stood next to her but instead of looking
down, your eyes searched the sky. The clouds were tinted pink and orange and a
few ravens were flying back home to the mountains.
“Y/n, I know we’ve been friends for a long time and I know and trust you.
But..do you love my brother or are you just being pressured into marrying him
by your mother, like she does with most things..”, Dís laughed but her tone was
serious.
“I would never marry anyone if I didn’t have feelings towards them...”, you
played with the bead Frerin had given you, “I..do love him”. You were trying to
convince yourself more than convince Dís. She smiled, “I know. I just had to
make sure..I’m glad he chose you”, she smiled sweetly.
You stood there in silence for a several minutes, just enjoying each other’s
company. From the corner of your eye you noticed Dís looking at you oddly with
a smirk on her lips, “what?”, you asked intrigued.
“What are you going to name your first child?”, she giggled.
You burned red, “I-I don’t know..”, you fumbled.
“You haven’t thought about it? Not even once?”
Quite frankly, you haven’t thought so far ahead yet. You just shrugged, “What
would you name yours?”.
It was Dís’ turn to shrug, “I don’t really have to worry about that just yet”.
“Well, neither do I”, you laughed, but you decided to humor her and raked your
brain for a name, “Uh..Fíli? It its a boy?”, you offered off the top of your
head.
Dís thought about it for a minute, “Yes.. Fíli..I like it. Sounds like a
prince. A very tall prince”. You laughed at how analytic she sounded.
“Y/n! Princess Dís..what are you two doing here?”, you looked to your right and
saw your father walking towards you and next to him was Frerin. You reached for
his hand and he gave it to you freely along with a peck on the cheek.
“Dís saved me from mother’s antics”, you said smiling at Dís.
“Well, you know how Galora is”, your father chuckled, “she gets excited about
things far more than she ought to. But we best be heading home now”, he said as
you started walking back.
Frerin wrapped an arm around you and pulled in to keep you warm as a breeze
tingled your skin.
“Prince Frerin, is it true that Thorin left on a hunting trip in the middle of
the feast last night?”, your father inquired.
“Yes. And to my knowledge he hasn’t returned yet”.
“I say, that is very strange indeed. A hunt in the middle of the night? And
around this time of year? What is he hoping to catch?”.
You drowned out the rest of the conversation, because you knew Frerin knew
nothing and now that you think about it, it ,i>was,/i> an odd time to go
hunting. The deer, elk and most game moved to the deeper parts of the woods or
to western areas to keep warm. Should you be worried?
***** Doors That Should Have Been Shut *****
Chapter Notes
     I know the last few chapters have been too long but I want to make
     this a short series so I'm cramming much of detail and plot into one
     chapter as I can. Sorry..
     Please enjoy and leave comments + kudos <3
Thorin returned two days later.
You had been sitting in one of the balconies that overlooked Erebor. Frerin lay
on his back on an ottoman, with his head propped on some cushions, he had a
scroll in one hand which he was studying intently and his other hand was
weaving into your hair. You lay nestled on his chest reading a book.
Over the span of two days you had gotten significantly closer in ways of
romance and intimacy.
“Wh..what. This treaty is riddled with contradictions”, he sighed in
frustration as he let the scroll slip onto the floor. You closed your book and
put it aside.
Looking up at him, you saw him staring up at the sky. You gently ran your
fingers down his chest, this grabbed his attention. He looked down at you with
a smile, “Forgive me Y/n, I know I haven’t been paying as much attention as I
should”, his hands found their way to your waist and pulled you further up.
You shook your head, “No, I understand. You have your responsibilities. Think
nothing of it.”
He chuckled, “Nothing should be more important than you”, he said his lips
grazing yours.
“Frerin, father wishes to see you”.
Thorin’s voice sent shivers up your spine. You turned your head to see him at
the doorway with his arms crossed in front him. Frerin sat up, hoisting you up
and over to the seat next to him, “So you’re back then! About time too. Where
have you been?”.
Thorin made no eye contact with you. He motioned for Frerin to follow, “He bids
you hurry”, with that he disappeared back in.
Frerin slowly stood up and turned to you, “This will only take a few minutes
love. I promise”, he kissed the top of your head.
“Really, don’t worry yourself about it”, you grinned, “I’ve got to finish this
book anyway”.
He was gone after a quick peck on your cheek. Frerin just couldn’t keep his
hands or lips off you, not that you minded because you were beginning to feel
the same way towards him.
You picked up the book and lost yourself in the pages again for a good long
while. Then all of a sudden you began thinking of Thorin. When you saw him,
your heart had jumped like it always did when you saw him. But this time it was
because you were glad to see him unharmed and safe. But you were a bit confused
and disgruntled that he hadn’t even looked at you like you weren’t worth a mere
glimpse.
“Y/n…”
Dís’ voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You smiled at her as she walked
over and sat down next to you, “What can I do for you?”.
She grinned at you and handed a box at which you looked at curiously before
taking it from her. “Iari wants me to meet someone, so I must be off. But this
arrived for Thorin and I was to hand it to him personally. But I really must be
going now, it’s been days since I last spent any time with Iari. You laugh Y/n,
but it’s not like us to go so long without talking. I trust you can give this
to him”, she said getting up.
You hesitated, “I don’t think he wants to see me Dís..”.
She cocked her head, “Why do you say that?”
You sighed and shrugged, “I don’t know..”
She shook her head, “Don’t be silly Y/n. You’ve been friends for years. Now
take that to him”.
“Dís? He is alright, yes? I mean he’s not hurt or anything from the hunt?”
“See? There’s another reason why you should go see him. Ask him , because I
haven’t a clue what my dolt brothers are up to”, she said walking towards the
door.
Before she walked in she looked over her shoulder and added, “Thorin is
probably in his chambers. See you tonight at the feast”.
Oh sweet Mahal, you had almost forgotten about the feast. Tonight Frerin was
going to announce the date of the wedding to all of Erebor. You must hurry home
to change into your dress. Springing up to your feet, you hurried down the
halls and found yourself in the corridor to the door to Thorin’s room.
The door was ajar you noticed, and you took a step forward to knock when your
hand froze midair. Thorin stood in front of his dresser facing away from the
door. Naked. You heard the sound of liquid being poured and the sound of glass
clinking. Your breath hitched in your throat, the view of his sturdy, taut body
bathed in the light streaming in from the windows was making your mind hazy.
You watched his biceps flex as he gulped down the contents of his chalice. Your
eyes traveled down his back, over his tousled black locks, the grooves of his
back and finally stopped at his perfect butt. If you could see yourself, you’d
see that your cheeks were flushed and your chest heaving. That’s probably why
you had difficulty turning away or moving at all: you liked what you saw.
Then in the corner of your eye you something move among the sheets on his bed.
“Won’t you come back to bed, my lord?”, a silky voice filled the room.
Your eyes shot to the bed to see a slender blonde dwarrowdam stand up and walk
over to Thorin, naked hips swaying
Your throat went dry. Your chest compressed like it was collapsing on itself.
You watched her wrap her arms around his waist and kiss his shoulder. You took
a step back, trying to contain yourself, after all, why did you care? Didn’t
you promise yourself that you were going to move on? To embrace this new life
you were about to start with Frerin? You knew this was going to happen…you knew
you’d have to watch Thorin marry someone. But perhaps this was all too sudden
and caught you completely off guard. And you are a living being, with feelings
and whatnot, and matters of the heart aren’t so easily changed or faltered.
You couldn’t breathe. You tried to take deep breaths as you backed away from
the door but then you heard a loud crash. You jumped when you realized that the
box you held had slowly slipped out of your numb hands.
You didn’t pick it up, you just ran. You didn’t stop till you reached the
stables. Saddling up your pony, you rode home as fast as the pony would allow.
Some of the people yelped as they dodged your pony and some hurled anguished
cries at you. But you didn’t care, you just felt numb all over and you wanted
to get away from that palace.
Hopping off the pony, you ran into your house, without even bothering to tie
the pony to a post. Iari and Dís were sitting in the library and were quite
startled when you rushed past them and up the stairs.
You shut the door behind you and sat on your bed with your hands folded neatly
on your lap. You took in a deep breath. Your mind was screaming at you, telling
you were being irrational and stupid for caring this deeply. But that tiny
voice you’ve pushed away into a corner, the one that has always been right, was
screaming louder that you were right to be hurt, because you still loved
Thorin.
You reached up and touched your cheek when you felt something wet trickle down
it. Were you crying? Yes, you were. And you were irritated with yourself for
crying. Serves you right for chasing things you can’t have, you scolded
yourself.
There was a soft knock on the door but you didn’t have time to respond for Iari
was already walking in. When she saw your tear stained face, her eyes softened,
“Kud tâti, Khazush? (What’s happened, sister?)”,she sat next to you and held
one of your hands.
How could you begin to explain what’s happening. What will she think of you?
Instead you smiled, shook you head and wiped your tears away, “It’s just…I’m
nervous for the wedding..*laugh*..it’s so close”. Iari gave you a knowing look,
“Khazush, I know you’re lying. Don’t you trust me? You can tell me anything,
I’m here for you.”
That almost set you bawling again but you just looked down at your hands and
said nothing in fear of actually crying.
“Is it..is it Thorin?”, she asked in a hushed voice.
Your head snapped up and you stared at her with a look of surprise and fear.
Iari rolled her eyes, “I spend most of my time around you, Frerin, Thorin and
Dís. And you’re my sister. There’s not much you can hide from me”. You slowly
began to relax, there’s no use denying it to Iari and you felt relieved that
someone knew. You nodded your answer to her question.
“What happened?”, she asked softly.
You inhaled sharply, trying to still the pain in your heart before speaking,
“I..I saw him with someone else. Iari..I know this is stupid..Oh Mahal knows
what a clot head I am…but..”, the whole story came out in a matter of minutes
and so did all your tears. Iari held you close and let you cry it all out and
you were surprised and thankful that she was a sympathetic listener.
“Y/n”, she spoke when you were done, “the way I see it..you can’t do anything
about Thorin now. The whole kingdom is waiting for you to marry prince Frerin
and I know Frerin as well as you do and we both know that he’ll make a
wonderful husband for you. I understand that it is difficult to let go of one
you have feelings for. But in due time, everything will fall into place. You
just have to hold on and weather the storm”, Iari said smoothing your hair.
Mahal, Iari sound like the older sister, you smiled sitting up.
“What would I do without you..”,
“Well, for one you’ll be late to the feast”, she said rising to her feet. You
flopped on your back and sighed, you just wanted to stay in, curl under your
blankets and take a long nap. But Frerin is waiting.
Iari unhooked the dress from the metal dress form your mother had picked out
for you the night before. She laid it down on the bed next to you, “I have to
get ready as well. Do get up Y/n” she grinned before leaving.
You grudgingly slipped out of bed and out of your clothes. You stood before the
dress and frowned at it. It was a shade of cream you have never seen before
with threads of gold woven into the fabric. It had a plunging neckline and tiny
balloon sleeves that narrowed and fitted tightly around your wrists, the skirt
was in layers that were fringed with gems. You had little trouble getting into
the dress because the stomacher had laces that tied in the front. The stomacher
was of a deep gold color with intricate flowers embroidered on it in a lighter
shade. The centers of the flowers bore diamonds and opals dotted the waistline.
You sat at your dresser and put on a pair of gold earrings with opal drops. You
had just begun to brush your hair when the door creaked open.
You saw Dís’ reflection in the mirror, “Dís, shouldn’t you be back at the
palace by now? It’s late already”.
“Uh..I was just..”, she wrinkled her nose, “I met Fallas and I really don’t
like him”.
You set your brush down and burst out laughing, “Neither do I. I’m glad you
don’t, because maybe Iari will listen to you if not me”.
Dís sighed and walked up behind you and picked up a section of your hair, “She
can do much better. He’s just another conniving weasel ”.
You agreed with her wholeheartedly, “Yes, but Dís, you don’t have to do that”,
you said grabbing her hand, “I can do it”, she was a princess after all.
She slapped your hand away, “Don’t be ridiculous, this will take only a minute.
But we must have a word with Iari. He..gives me a strange feeling”, she
shuddered as she braided your hair in the most exquisite way.
“Maybe after the feast we can both bring the matter up…gently. She is very
sensitive when it comes to him”, Dís nodded and stepped back letting you admire
her work. Many tiny fishtail braids beginning around your temples joined at the
base of your neck to form one intricate braid while leaving the rest of your
hair free. You grabbed a jeweled hair clasp and secured your hair midway to
keep it all together.
“Alright. Let’s go”
===============================================================================
The hour was late, the announcement made, and the celebrations were almost
coming to an end. Yet the music played loud, more ale kegs were brought in and
people danced and chattered on.
You had danced till your feet were sore, you forgot your cares as Frerin spun
you around in his arms and whispered compliments in your ear. Now you sat in
one of the sitting areas in the giant hall with your feet resting on a table in
front of the fireplace. You had your eyes shut, just basking in the heat of the
embers.
A loud giggle had you fluttering your eyelids open, you turned your head to the
side and saw a blonde dwarrowdam who was batting her lashes at Thorin. You
rolled your eyes as you realized it was the girl from before. She lightly
touched his forearm and leaned in to whisper something, Thorin half smirked but
didn't move. He was leaning against a wall with his arms crossed in front of
him while she couldn't still her wandering hands. But the more you looked at
her, the more she seemed familiar, you've probably seen her in court before-
probably the daughter of a high lord.
You leaned forward and grabbed your tankard and gulped it down. It was most
likely unwise, because you were already quite tipsy. And maybe it was the ale
talking. but you would very much like to watch that blondie trip and fall, this
thought brought a shaky smile to your lips.
“Y/n!”, you looked to your left to see Avila beckoning you to come over as she
joined hands with two others to complete the circle. And as the song changed,
they danced in and out of the circle, Avila held out a hand for you. You stood
up, thinking that this will be your last dance for the night. Taking her hand
you tried to steady your feet as you attempted to dance, but you were
definitely not the only one drunk in that hall.
You stumbled down the hall trying to find your way to the stables. It had
always been a little difficult given that the halls of Erebor were quite
perplexing, and even more so when one is drunk.
You came to a halt in one of the torch lit halls. You groaned and leaned on one
of the walls when you realized that these were living quarters for guests who
came to visit.
“So am I to assume that getting drunk is the norm with you now?”
You nearly squealed out of fright. You had thought you were alone and you
didn’t hear any approaching footsteps, but even being intoxicated you knew it
was Thorin.
“And am I to assume that following me around when I’m drunk is the norm with
you?”, you snapped back.
Thorin raised an eyebrow and gave you a hard look before speaking again, “I was
merely just making sure you were alright”.
You snorted, “Why would you care?”, had you been sober you would have never
spoken to him this way. He took a few steps towards you, the light of the
torches illuminated his face and you saw that he was not happy with how you
were behaving.
“Why wouldn’t I care?”, he asked in a low voice.
This angered you, how could he pretend like this? “Just leave”, was all you
could say, because you feared you might cross a boundary if you said more.
“Y/n, is there something you want to tell me?”, Thorin asked, his voice shook
you to the core.
You pushed yourself off the wall and boldly strode up to him, his eyes studied
your face and you knew you looked angry.
“Yes”.
***** Born of Stone *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“Yes?”, Thorin waited, “Go on”, he almost sounded like he was challenging you.
His form loomed over you, his jaw set firm making him look ominous, but that
didn’t sway you.
You held your head high, “You always do that. You just walk in out of people’s
lives like they don’t matter. Well, people aren’t your playthings, Thorin!”,
you balled your fists at your sides.
“What?”, he asked.
“This isn’t the first time you’ve just up and disappeared. Did you ever think
that it would be hard on Frerin? You’re not just some dwarf, you’re the prince
and you have duties”, your voice faltered and your gaze fell to the floor.
“Y/n..”
“No! Don’t..but..sometimes I just..”, you were tired and your mind was starting
to clear but one last thing slipped out before you could stop it:
“I wish you weren’t who you are”.
Thorin took one last step towards you, you looked up to meet his gaze, tears
stinging your eyes. He looked indifferent, anger bubbled up in your chest
again:
“I wish you weren’t the sodding prince”, you said looking him the eye. When he
didn’t reply you whipped around to leave. But of course Thorin would never let
you have the last word.
He grabbed your arm and spun you back around, “My Lady, was that a
confession?”, his breath fanned your cheek. You were trembling as you tried to
hold back your tears. What was he trying to accomplish you wondered.
“Don’t you think I haven’t prayed to Aulë every night, begging him to strip me
of my titles”, he brought a shaking finger to your cheek and wiped a tear away.
You had to use all the strength you could muster to fight the urge to lean
further into his touch.
“Don’t you think it’s hard for me to watch you…I…can’t. I’m not born of stone”,
his eyebrows knitted and his voice was heavy with despair.
“I can’t bare to stay here anymore. These walls…the gardens, everything is a
reminder of you”, he laughed bitterly, “And in a few more days…I would lose you
forever”. Your eyes widened and a small gasp left your lips.
“So tell me little one, how can you be so cruel as to wish me to stay”
“Thorin..”, you reached up with one hand and cupped his bearded cheek, “I
didn’t know..”.
He smiled softly, but his eyes remained shadowed, “What could either of us have
done? I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried to rid my mind of you. I’ve done things
I wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t thought that it was my last resort. But you
stayed. In my heart..in every fiber of my being”. His words were everything to
you. It made you sad and unprecedented happiness at the same time. It was
comforting to know that he cared and feared losing you.
You buried your face in his chest and clung to his tunic, he immediately
wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his forehead atop your head. You
were shaking as you inhaled his smell of fire wood and ale. He gently rubbed
your back and you broke down, “I love you Thorin”, you cried into his chest, “I
love you..”
His hand stilled on your back, “I’ve always known that I suppose. I willed
myself into believing it wasn’t so, because I was afraid of admitting to myself
that I loved this ethereal being that I couldn’t have”, he kissed you hair and
cupped your chin, gently lifting your head to look at him. “I regret not
telling you sooner”.
In a flash his lips claimed yours, fearing that if he waits any longer he’d
never have a chance again. Even if this is to be the first and only time, he
won’t let this moment slip from his fingers. You wrapped your arms around his
neck and pulled him closer, losing yourself completely. His lips moved
frantically trying to feel all of you, taste all of you like you would
disappear at any second now. Your fingers were tangled in his hair, as your own
lips tried to match his pace. He made sure you felt all the pent up passion,
longing, love and desire he’s hidden away all these years.
He momentarily broke the kiss only to press hungry kisses on your jaw before
finding your lips again. This kiss was everything you’ve always wanted..he was
everything you want. His tongue flicked at your lips and you eagerly let him in
and with him he brought the taste of spiced ale and smoke. He gently bit your
bottom lip as his hands wandered down your hips and rested on your rear.
Before Thorin could proceed with what he had in mind, a loud commotion that
sounded like glass shattering followed by a deafening scream echoed down the
hall. You both pulled away startled, even though your mind was hazy, the
familiarity of that voice made your stomach turn and then it hit you :
“Iari!”, you gasped as you took a shaky step forward. Gathering your wits as
quickly as possibly, you ran towards the scream. It wasn’t difficult to find
the room because Iari’s desperate pleas didn’t cease.
“No! Please stop!”, followed by muffled screams. What was she even doing in
these parts of the palace?
You pushed on the door but to no avail; it was locked from the inside. Before
panic could elude you, Thorin grabbed your shoulder and pulled you back, before
taking a step back himself and kicking the heavy door down. You ran inside
followed by Thorin. But you weren’t prepared to see what was unraveling in that
room.
Iari was sprawled on her back with her dress almost completely ripped off her
body, her face was botched with tears. Fallas had a fistful of her gold hair
and was on top of her, half naked. The sudden intrusion caused Fallas to stand
up abruptly only to stumble and fall to his feet.
“You filthy WORM !!”, Thorin yelled ferociously as he seized Fallas by his
hair. You rushed to Iari’s side, your mind raced trying to make sense it all
and to think of what to do next. You cradled her in your arms, “Iari! Are you
hurt?”, you asked trying to steady your voice. She shook violently and clung to
your arm, burying her face in your skirts in an attempt to drown out her sobs.
You reached for her skirts to pull them down when you saw the pool of blood
between her legs. A stab of pain and sadness shot through you. One of your
hands held on to your sister and the other stroked her hair trying to soothe
her, “I’ve got you”, but you knew there was nothing you could say at this
moment to make her feel better.
You had completely drowned out the world and let Iari have your undivided
attention, but you looked up just in time to see Thorin’s fist collide with
Fallas’ jaw. He staggered back and stepped right into the wall behind him. It
was obvious that he was in no condition to fight back as he was intoxicated
beyond reason. Thorin looked furious, his eyes were like two blazing forges and
his breathing was uneven. He drew his dagger from its scabbard and took a step
forward, fully intending to kill him right then and there. Dwarven men harbored
the utmost respect for their women and any kind of abuse, may it be physical,
verbal or mental was in no way tolerated.
You had no objection to watch Thorin gut this dust rat, in fact, you wanted it
more than anything at that moment.
“Where did you get the audacity to even touch her, you worthless dog”, he asked
in a very low rumble.
“Thorin wait”, you spoke reluctantly, but he made no sign of stopping. You
sprang up to your feet and stepped in between the two. Facing a very annoyed
Thorin, you grabbed his armed hand, “I would very much like to see him dead.
But think of Iari. People are going to wonder and if they look into his death
they might begin to suspect something. Thorin she will be ruined. Her future
will be dead before it even lived.No one must know”.
“I cannot live knowing I let this filth walk the earth after this, Y/n”, Thorin
growled.
“I know. But you must let him live for Iari”, you ran your fingers over his
knuckles hurriedly. He seemed to calm down by less than a fraction, enough to
loosen his grip on the dagger. You spun around to face Fallas who was almost on
the verge of fainting, “She was only a child”, you said through gritted teeth,
“You may live Lord Fallas, but I promise you this…I will make every waking
moment of your life a living hell. No one would know why, how or who is behind
the long series of misfortunes that will befall you and no one will be able to
help you. You will never know happiness again”.
Walking back to Iari, you helped her to sit up, she was still crying and when
you sat next to her she threw her arms around you again. You knew this was not
her fault, but you wished she had listened to you. There’s no use pointing
fingers at anyone now, all you could do was try fix what’s been broken. “Iari,
listen to me. Are you wounded?”, when her reply was a string of incoherent
sobs, you pulled her back and and inspected her face and exposed skin. Both her
wrists were badly bruised and were turning black by the minute, earlier your
noticed similar bruises on her legs. Her cheek was bleeding, probably from an
attempt to escape.
Thorin took an awkward step forward, “Maybe you should take her to our healers.
They’re the best in Erebor”.
You were unsure, “What if they talk?”.
“I gather you’re close with Avila, Glóin’s wife. She’s one of the healers here.
She will take care of Iari and keep this to herself”, he offered.
This hadn’t occurred to you, maybe because you were still a little tipsy
yourself. You nodded eventually.
Thorin yanked Fallas to his feet by his collar and pushed him towards the door
while staying at his heels. And once they were gone you took Iari’s face in
your hands, “Iari, I’m so sorry…I should have been there for you more”. She
took in a deep breath, hoping to calm her violent sobs and gasps for air, “No.
Y-you were a-alway-s he-here, *sob*, m-more than anyone..”, you nearly choked
as you dabbed at her tears.
It was true, your parents had been more involved in your life, trying to make
sure you were the center of attention, the main star, because you were the
oldest and had unrealistic expectations thrust upon you. Had your mother paid
more attention to Iari, maybe she wouldn’t be sitting on a pool of her own
blood right now. Of course they gave her everything she wanted, but that was to
pacify her and sate their own guilt. It had always been you who chided and
fussed after Iari. You had meant the best when you did, because someone had to
push her down the right path.
You were trying to tame her messy hair when Avila poked her head through the
busted down doorway. When she saw what awaited her, Avila’s hand flew to her
mouth, “Yavanna have mercy!”.
She hurried over to your side and took Iari’s hand in hers. Once you recounted
what had happened, she was completely empathetic, “My dear girl, no one on this
good earth should have to go through that”.
“Avi, we would be in debt to you if you could keep this just between us”, you
said, praying that you weren’t asking too much. She gave you an odd look while
wrapping Iari in the cloak she had been wearing, “Of course I will. And no debt
owed, Y/n. This is merely one dwarrowdam helping another in her hour of need.
Now, the healing wing will be almost empty because of the festivities, save for
a few drunks and healers. It would be easy enough to get her in without drawing
too much attention. And I will make sure to tend to her personally. I’ll have
her patched up in no time”, Avila tried to smile.
She helped Iari to her feet while you got up yourself. “Y/n, you better wait
till morning to see her. Don’t want unnecessary attention, now do we. I will
take care of her, I promise. You need to go home and tell your parents Iari is
fine”.
Iari grasped your hand in a flash, “Please don’t tell mama what happened.
Please!”, she cried, fresh tears glistening in her eyes. You clasped her hand
in yours and smiled softly, “Don’t you worry about mother. I’ll handle that.
Now go", you kissed his bruised cheek and Avila walked her out.
You looked around the room, you wanted to make sure there weren’t any signs of
struggle in the room. You grabbed hold of the blood stained bed sheets and
yanked them off then hurrying over to the fireplace, you tossed them into the
flames. You stepped back as the evidence was engulfed in angry flames. Picking
up the bedspread that lay abandoned at the foot of the bed you threw it over
the bare bed before adjusting the pillows. Next with shaking hands you picked
up scraps of Iari’s dress and tossed them into the flames as well. You noticed
the shattered goblet on the side of the bed and bent to pick up the pieces, you
were so emotionally drained by now that all you wanted to do was cry.
“Y/n, leave that. You’ll hurt yourself”, Thorin said resting a hand on yours
which held a shard of glass. You dropped it and turned to look at Thorin.
Neither of you said anything for a while.
“What did you do with him?”, you asked sitting down and leaning against the
side of the bed. Thorin smirked wickedly, “I had some of my guards treat him to
some more ale. After tonight he probably will lose his liking for it. If he
remembers what happened in the morning, my guards will see to it that he holds
his tongue else lest he’d prefer to lose it”. You sighed a little relieved that
you didn’t have to worry about him for now. Thorin sat down next to you, “Thank
you”, you said turning to face him. He said nothing.
“Thorin..I mean it. Thank you for being there for me and my family”, you said
tucking a lose braid behind your ear.
He didn’t respond. He continued to stare at his boots. “Thorin?”, you asked
gently while placing a hand on his forearm.
“I don’t regret what I did”, he stated suddenly, “I know I should. But I
don’t”. You retracted your hand, “Yes. It’s not fair to Frerin. He..he loves
me”.
“I love you”, Thorin snapped.
“I am promised to him. I couldn’t bare to break his heart”, as soon as you said
those last words, Thorin looked at you with saddened eyes that asked you the
unspoken question. You buried your face in your hands in defeat, “Thorin. I
don’t know what to do..”, you looked at him, “but I know we can’t keep doing
what we did. It’s not right”.
You that there in silence again till he spoke, “Did you see what was in the
box?”.
“Huh? What box?”, you questioned confused.
“The one you dropped outside my chambers”.
Oh sweet Mahal. Your cheeks felt like they caught fire, “You knew I was
there?”.
He nodded once, “I’m sorry you saw that. I thought..she could…she wasn’t you.”
It was your turn to be silent.
“I had a dagger made for you. After the last feast I gathered that you might
need to defend yourself more now that you’ll frequent the court after you…”, he
couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence, “People think court life is all
feasts, fun and merry making, but no…it’s a dark and deadly game where more
people die than on the battlefield. Especially when one is a temptress such as
yourself”, he didn’t mean to compliment you, he was only stating facts.
Reaching behind him, he unhooked another scabbard from his belt and handed it
to you, “When I can’t be there to protect you, may it serve you well”.
You were a little intimidated by his words and also grateful. It was sheathed
in and beautiful leather scabbard and it’s hilt reflected the fire’s light off
its gold body and the red ruby at the bottom of the hilt. The blade narrowed as
it got to the middle only to widen again and form a razor sharp tip at the end.
It was unlike any dagger you’ve seen and it was gorgeous. “Thank you”, you said
again in amazement.
“I wish you all the happiness in the world. You and Frerin”, he said cupping
your cheek. He rested his forehead against yours, gazing into your eyes. "This
is the last time", he whispered before he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on
your lips, your fingers gently grazed his beard while you closed your eyes,
savoring the feel of his lips, preserving the last kiss in your memory forever.
You pulled back and Thorin let go of you.
"I must go", you said without breaking eye contact. "Yes", he replied quietly.
He hesitated before standing up. He offered you his hand but you didn't take
it. Instead you stood up yourself and walked to the doorway, looking over your
shoulder you saw him staring at the floor.
"Good night, Prince Thorin".
Chapter End Notes
     So this is what I based the dagger on (I just added a ruby at the
     bottom):https://www.pinterest.com/pin/86764730298522829/
***** Wish Granted *****
Chapter Notes
     This one's a tad bit boring :P
“The first they heard was a noise like a hurricane coming down from the North.
The pines on the mountain creaked and cracked in the hot, dry wind”.
You had woken up with a start. Something was clawing at your sleeping mind, it
was unrelenting and it persisted till you gave in and let it pull you out of
your troubled sleep. You pushed off the covers hastily and threw open the doors
to your wardrobe. You had to check up on your sister before your mother went in
asking questions. It was difficult enough to give her an excuse as to why she
didn’t return home last night. You had managed to put an end to her questions
by saying that Iari had been too tired after the celebrations that Dís had
invited her to stay. But of course your mother had been suspicious; it was
indeed very special to be invited to stay at the palace, especially by a member
of the royal family. But your mother would like to have avoided it at all
costs, lest Iari, Mahal forbid, made a bad impression and embarrassed the whole
family.
You were out of the front door even before your father was awake, who usually
headed over to his mines at the break of dawn. You pulled your long formfitting
red velvet coat tighter around you to shield yourself from the morning dew,
while urging your pony into a faster pace. The roads were almost bare as most
people were still asleep. It was beautiful to see the first light of the rising
sun touch the tops of the tall pine trees, however you couldn’t shake the
feeling that something bad was coming. You smelled the danger in the air.
Nonetheless, as soon as you rode up to the stables, you forgot all about it and
focused on finding Iari.
“You’re early today m'lady”, the stable boy said as he took the reigns from
your hands. “Yes. I have quite forgotten something last night”, you said
hopping off the pony. You didn’t linger to see the look he gave your poorly
thought out story.
Trying to recall where the healing wing was, you wandered the maze of halls,
thinking to yourself how daunting and dark they looked when people and music
were absent. Guards stood watch at some of the giants doors and hallways, but
that just added to the formidable air of the place. You saw a dwarf exiting one
of the guarded rooms and you hurried to catch him before he disappeared down a
hall.
“Why, good morning Lady Y/n! What can I do yer for?”, the strange hat on his
head bobbed as he flashed you a grin. You felt horrible for not knowing his
name when he clearly knew you, “I can’t seem to find the healing wing. Could
you be so kind as to point me in its direction?”.
“I’m afraid I cannot m'lady. I do not live here and I’m new to these halls as
well.”, you cursed yourself for not knowing where they were, given that you’ve
practically grown up here. You just never had the need to go to the healers
because your mother proficient enough in the art of healing to take care of any
minor cuts and bruises you might acquire.
“I could help you look for or find someone who does know. I’ll bet my beard
that prince Frerin knows where it is”, he smiled. You cringed, the last thing
you needed was more people knowing you have business with the healers.
More people were starting to come out to tend to their daily activities. You
bent in a curtsy, “Thank you. But I think I will look for it myself”, you
smiled as he took his hat off and bid you a good day.
You kept walking and realized that you were approaching the throne room. And
you were surprised to hear low voices coming from in there. They were almost
whispers but you knew to whom they belonged to.
“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about”, Frerin said.
“You try telling him that! Grandfather isn’t himself anymore. Father won’t
listen either”, Thorin snapped.
“It’s that gold he loves more than his own children”, Frerin said bitterly.
“We can’t contain this situation much longer. Everything is hanging by a
thread”.
“Maybe the elves are right. His greed might summon-”
“Don’t speak of such things, Frerin! The elves? The elves know nothing…damn
them!”
You knew you shouldn’t be listening. But you hadn’t known that this situation
with Thrór and Thráin was this bad. Everyone thought old age was affecting
Thrór and that Thráin had everything under control. You stepped back and forced
your feet to keep moving, maybe Thorin and Frerin were just overreacting. But
you knew them and they weren’t known to worry unless it was truly a problem.
Turning down a corner, you thanked Durin when you saw Glóin laughing with
another stout dwarf.
“Y/n! Well, well, up and about already eh? Where about yeh headed then lassy?”,
Glóin asked chuckling deeply.
You bowed in greeting before speaking, “I was searching for Avila but I do not
know where the healers quarters are. Would you be so kind as to tell me where I
should be looking?”.
“Aye, I be going there myself, I would like to escort you m'lady”, you accepted
his offer.
In a matter of minutes, you were walking into a large room that smelled of
herbs and sweet oils. Dwarrowdams dressed in white, with pieces of cloth over
their noses and mouths were wandering from bed to bed. You were sort of glad
that Iari wasn’t in any of those beds, but at the same time you wondered where
on Arda she could have gone.
Avila was speaking with one of the figures clad in white, but grinned wide when
her eyes fell on Glóin. She walked up to him, who took her in his arms and
kissed her.
“What brings you here?”, Avila asked Glóin sounding a bit surprised.
“What? Can’t I come visit my woman?”, to which Avila raised a suspicious
eyebrow. “Never mind that. Lady Y/n, here needs to have a minute of yer time”.
Avila beckoned you to follow her, “The supplies are ready for you”, she winked.
She pulled you into a section of the room that was partitioned by a curtain.
Behind it was a single bed, racks of bottled healing herbs and a side table
with an ewer of water resting on it. You looked at Avila questioningly after
eyeing the empty bed.
“I stayed with her the whole night. Her physical wounds were next to minor, the
bruises will fade eventually with the help of this salve. After a bit of
coaxing, she finally had a couple hours of sleep. She woke up and requested to
go for a walk before anyone was up. I sent two of my helpers with her just in
case. I would have gone with her, but I had my morning rounds to make".
“How did she look to you?”, you asked looking at her discarded dress that was
folded on the edge of the bed.
“She’s doing her best to cope. Y-”
She was interrupted by a group of heavy footsteps accompanied by loud calls in
Khuzdul.
“Dragon! A dragon has come!”
A loud sound, like an explosion shook the floor and resting dust on the fine
masonry of the ceilings dribbled down. Your ears rang as you tried to
comprehend the commanding shouts that followed. Glóin yanked the curtains
aside, almost ripping them off their frame.
“Avila! We must leave. Now!”, he grasped her hand and yours and pulled you two
along before you resisted, “Where are we going?”, the helpers were assisting
the alarmed patients out the door. Panicked screams and footsteps echoed out in
the hall.
“By the sound of it, we have to evacuate Erebor”, he said as another tremor
shook the earth below your feet, then the sound of rocks tumbling over filled
the room. “Hurry! We cannot delay!”, Glóin said pulling you forward.
“My sister is still out there!”, you said trying to free your wrist.
“Glóin, I took an oath.. to save lives. Iari is under my protection. I must
find her”, Avila rushed through her words as he backed out of her husband’s
grasp.
“Avila! This is not the time! I’m sure one of the guards got her by now”, he
said in an impatient voice.
“I made a promise!”
Glóin pinched the bridge of his nose, “By Durin’s beard! Alright! I’ll come
with you. Y/n, follow the guards or the others. I’m certain they’ll help you
outside to safety”. You wanted to protest and insist that you come along with
them, but the look in Glóin’s eyes forced you to think better. Maybe you’ll
find her on your way out and maybe you should start worrying about your own
safety.
The halls were almost empty now, save for a few guards searching for anyone
left behind. Is it true? A dragon in Erebor?
“M’lady please, this way!”, one of the guards said pointing down a hallway.
Picking up your skirts you ran in that direction till the hall split into two.
You knew where both lead, and they both took you to the main hallway in front
of the gates. You turned left and kept running, the distant pounding of what
sounded like giant feet, to your horror, was getting dangerously close.
And before you knew it the hallway before you gives way and the flying rubble
knocks you on your back. There was fire everywhere. Another wave of screams and
pleas ripped through the air. Your body was encased in hot scorching air and
you blinked through the dust and smoke to see what had happened. Big lizard
feet and a long slithering body walked across your path, tearing down walls and
leaving colossal holes in the walls. Your head throbbed and your back protested
in agony, but you had to move or be engulfed in the ravenous dragon fire.
Clamoring to your feet and staying closer to middle where the flames seemed
sparse you tried to find an exit. The air was becoming almost unbreathable by
the second, taking a few steps forward you realized that the hall was blocked
by the rubble and flames were blocking the hole the dragon had created to enter
through the first wall.
Fear was trying to seep into your mind, but you knew if you lost your calm you
would in fact die in here. The only way out was through that hole but it was a
huge risk. You pulled your velvet coat over your head to protect your hair and
took a few steps back before you jumped through the snapping flames. You landed
on your feet on the other side but when you noticed that the bottom of your
skirt had caught fire, a little yelp left you. You rolled on the ground and the
fire was out fast.
You stood up and looked around the main hall, the air wasn’t any better in
here, you held your hand up to cover your nose from the thick smoke. Dwarves
lay dead on the floor, most burned to a crisp and others smashed into pieces.
It was a horrendous sight, you were going dizzy from the lack of air, the heat
and the blood coloring the stone floors.
You might have very well fallen unconscious among the dead if Thorin hadn’t
seized your arm and pulled you towards the demolished gates.
“Listen to me Y/n. Keep your eyes open, we’re almost there.”
You fought to keep the fog that crept up from the edges of your vision at bay.
Surprisingly, your legs didn’t fail you. They kept up with Thorin as you both
emerged out of the gates. You took in a deep breath of clean air and then
another. Now that the sound of the roaring fire was behind you, a new sound
filled your ears: dwarves screaming and wailing in agony and fear.
Hoards of your people were trying to get out of Erebor. Dwarves pushed and
shoved trying to get ahead of you, but Thorin’s grip on your arm was like a
vice because he wasn’t planning on losing you.
You got as far away as possible, till the crowd of people began thinning out as
they gathered in groups in places they deemed safe.
You were panting and was in shock when you finally came to a stop near a couple
pine trees that had survived. As soon as you came to a halt, Thorin’s grip on
your wrist tightened and pulled you to face him. He studied your sooty face and
body and when he didn’t find any life threatening wounds, he let go of you. You
fell back onto a pile of dead leaves.
Thorin had turned to face Erebor, he looked on as the trees surrounding Erebor
blazed and smoked. He took a few steps forward as if contemplating to go back
in.
“It’s lost”, you heard him whisper.
You didn’t know what to do. You felt lost. Everything had been fine and now
your home was on fire and a dragon sacked the palace. To your left, the city of
Dale was up in smoke too and the smell of burning flesh drifted over to you
triggering your gag reflex.
“What…happened…”, you asked choking back tears.
Thorin didn’t move, his eyes were fixed on the mountain and it took him awhile
to register your words, “A fire drake from the North. Smaug. The gold..summoned
it”.
Even through your distress you were able to empathize with what Thorin was
feeling. You slowly got up and walked towards him and stood in silence. You saw
the gash on his thigh, the wound on his arm and his chest. His face was covered
in ash, his beard singed and his eyes heavy with loss and despair.
“They didn’t help us, Y/n. Wh-why? why? ”, he asked through gritted teeth. You
didn’t know what he was talking about so you said nothing, instead you let your
fingers lightly touch his. He flinched and turned his head slightly to the side
to look at you.
“Is the King safe? And Prince Thráin?”, you asked concerned. Thorin nodded,
“They made it out just in time”.
“And…what of Frerin?”.
He turned his head a fraction more, “He took another troop of soldiers to
defend the treasure hall. I don’t know what happened after”.
You went pale. What if he’s dead? You felt horribly guilty for some reason. You
felt like the words you’ve spoken last night…your confession, wishing Thorin
wasn’t the prince…somehow made this happen. “I-I..must find my parents”, you
said looking down at the gathering of dwarves.
“I must look for survivors”, he said starting towards Erebor.
You walked through the rushing dwarves. Many were injured and lay on the ground
with loved ones clutching on to them. Others were shouting names and some
rushed to hug their children. You called out the names of your parents and
sister.
“Y/n!”.
Dís walked over to you with two guards at her back, “Thank Mahal, you’re
aright!”, she said grasping your hands. For once in her life she didn’t look
regal, she hair and skin was sooty like yours and her silk dress was destroyed,
“I’m glad you’re alright aswell! But did you see Iari? Or my parents?”. Dís
shook her head and looked at the Lonely Mountain sadly.
At that moment Glóin pushed through a couple of people with Avila who lay
motionless in his arms. You rushed over to him as he laid her down on a patch
of grass, “What’s happened?!”. You ran a hand down the side of her face and
realized that she was breathing.
“Too much smoke. She was trying to save Iari. I’m so sorry lassy..she didn’t
make it”, he said bowing his head.
You went pale. Your hands were numb and your stomach plummeted to your feet. It
couldn’t be true. You heard strangled sobs but you knew they weren’t yours. Dís
threw her arms around you and wept into your dress. You didn’t move. You
couldn’t. You couldn’t believe your baby sister was dead. No. You refused to
believe it. Your head snapped up towards the entrance to Erebor waiting for
Iari.
Avila stirred with a groan. Dís moved as you knelt at her side hoping she’d
confirm Iari’s survival. With Glóin’s help she sat up rubbing the side of her
head. Her eyes wandered till they rested on your pale face, her own face
crumpled up and tears sprang to her eyes, "I'm sorry Y/n! I'm so sorry! I
tried...", she flung her hands around you, pulling you closer.
So it was true then. You hugged her back, finally letting your tears fall. She
was gone. You wished you could have her back, apologize for everything that had
befallen her...if you could have her back, you'd never let anything happen to
her again. But life didn't work that way.
"Come on! Salvage what you can! We'll need food and heat if we're going to
survive.", the dwarf with the funny hat you met earlier this morning shouted
over the commotion.
He was right. There are no walls or guards to protect you out here. Only the
Valar knew what was lurking in the shadows. You had to have a clear mind and
help where you can.
Pulling back, you spoke, "Are you alright? Are you hurt?". Avila shook her head
while wiping her face.
"Don't you worry about her. I've got her. You go find your folks", he said with
a slight nod. You gave Avila a faint smile before weaving your way through the
mass of people with Dís tailing you.
===============================================================================
Darkness was falling when you decided to rest. You sat down on a tree stump and
let out a heartbroken sigh. Dís sat down at your feet and leaned her head
against your leg. Hope was fading and you were frustrated. You didn't find your
parents or Frerin. Did the Gods mean to ruthlessly rip everyone you love away
from you? But you refused to lose all faith, they could still turn up in the
morning.
"Might I join you m'lady?", it was that dwarf with the hat again, this time he
had a stack of firewood in his arms. You nodded while racking your brains
trying to remember his name. "The name is Bofur, m'lady", he smiled setting the
wood down. You ducked your head, "I'm sorry..", you gently ran a hand through
Dís' brown tresses. "We were never formerly introduced", he shrugged.
Soon he had a reasonably sized fire going. The dwarves had calmed down enough
to build fires and huddle around them. A few were still crying and sometimes
the moans of the dying could be heard.
You were tired beyond words, your feet were swollen from the excessive walking
and your back was badly bruised. You slunk off the stump and shifted Dís so
that her head was lying on your lap, you also shrouded her in a blanket you've
received from one of the survivors.
Leaning your head back against the tree stump, you let sleep take you.
===============================================================================
"Y/n", a soft voice stirred you from your sleep.
It was still dark and Dís still slept on your lap. With much difficulty, you
opened your eyes when you felt hands cup your face and gentle kisses being
pressed on your cheeks. You found yourself staring into deep blue eyes. Your
head was groggy and sleep was calling again.
But the streak of red on his forehead grabbed your attention, "Thorin, you're
hurt", you said before burying your face in his chest and falling asleep again.
Frerin held you in his arms, a little more than confused. He looked up at his
brother who stood a few feet away with his hands crossed in front of him.
Thorin shrugged before walking away.
Thorin had lost his kingdom, his kin had suffered a great deal today and there
most certainly was no room for happiness tonight. And above all, he did not
want his brother hurt, but he couldn't help the little smile that tugged at his
lips.
***** I Almost Had You *****
Chapter Notes
     So sorry this is way overdue. It was an exhausting week. I was a bad
     noodle this weekend. But anyway enjoy babies :*
Dís woke up alone on the hard ground with a blanket over her. The sun was high
up the sky and the fire had dwindled to ash. Scrambling up to her aching feet
she wandered through the giant camp looking for her brothers and you. The
people seem to be gathering their few saved possessions and getting ready to
leave.
She found Thorin next to their father and grandfather who were both atop
ponies. Thorin was nodding in agreement at what Thráin had said when she
interrupted, “Adad! Where are you going? Where’s everyone going?”.
Their eyes turned to her. Thrain smiled at her, “I will see you shortly” before
nodding at Thorin and riding off with Thrór. Thorin didn’t look at her, “We
must make haste to Moria. Father will rally the soldiers of the Iron Hills and
meet us", he appeared to be talking to himself assessing the strategy, more
than answering Dís’ questions.
Dís looked bewildered, “Why would we need soldiers?”, she asked following him.
Thorin came to a halt abruptly and turned to look at the little dwarfling, “You
shouldn’t concern yourself with such things Dís. If Mahal is with us, there
won’t be any need for soldiers. It’s just a precaution”, he kissed the top of
her head before adding, “Now, go find Frerin so we can be on our way”.
Dís was used to the obscurity of her brothers’ explanations, she had learned to
cope with what little information was given to her long time ago. She asked
nothing more and began the search for Frerin. It didn’t take long for her to
spot him with you in his arms.
Inching closer you heard the last of your fading sobs. Frerin gently ran his
fingers down your hair.
“You’re not alone my love. Though your family is gone, know that you have me
and my family who loves you one of their own”, he said lovingly. His words
didn’t soothe your pain. You feared nothing will. You felt lost without your
family and hearing that they were all dead was devastating and soul crushing.
They left you to fend for yourself in a world you knew nothing of. You lived
your life within the walls of Erebor and where will you go now?
You pulled back, you needed to be strong because now wasn’t the time to
despair. If you sit here helpless you’re good as dead. Frerin wiped the last of
your tears and kissed you gently:
“We must be off now”, he said when he spotted Dís waiting. She appreached you
and placed a hand on your shoulder in condolence for she didn’t know what to
say.
You nodded and walked with Dís and Frerin to the front of the gathered people
where Thorin stood with the remaining soldiers of Erebor. He gave you a slight
nod before you all began your journey to Khazad-dûm.
===============================================================================
The months that came were difficult and riddled with many challenges, also
experiences. You laid your eyes on your first orc, you had seen night raids and
mothers watch their children starve. You had felt what it was truly live in
complete poverty and actually feel painful hunger.
But of course there were moments you’ve liked. Like sleeping under the stars,
walking through a field of fireflies with Frerin and watching the sunset over
the Great River Anduin was breathtaking. Also the taste of water when you’ve
nearly forgotten the feel of it cannot be compared to any earthly pleasure you
were aware of.
You took another sip of water from a water skin as you walked into the tiny
tent you shared with Frerin. It was definitely not fit for the prince, or
yourself to be truthful but you had to get used to it. There was only so much
one can do when one’s got very little money. It had two piles of rags that
served as beds and two tiny stubs of candle. Now that you’ve almost reached
Moria, Thráin had ordered the dwarves to settle down since he didn’t know for
how long you will have to be here.
Thrain had reached your camp a month after you had set it up, with a fairly
large army from the Iron Hills. Frerin and Thorin along with a few other
soldiers left a few days ago to scout out the parameters of Moria.
Dís and Avila were sitting on your pile of rags and when you walked in it was
almost impossible to turn in the small space.
“Oh, how far we’ve fallen”, Avila muttered bitterly.
“Your brothers are back”, you told Dís.
“I don’t know what the meaning of all this sneaking about is. What could
possibly be at Moria that could be threatening. We’ve known these folk for
years! I for one would like to get out of this god forsaken wilderness and back
into civilization. I’ve quite forgotten what silverware looks like. Or beds for
that matter", Dís said eyeing your “bed”.
Avila smiled before standing, “Yes it would be nice to not worry about
everything. Y/n, it’s almost supper time. Would you help me cook something
up?”.
You nodded following her outside. Through the journey, you, Bofur, Glóin and
Avila had stayed together with the royal family. All dwarves split into smaller
groups to make it easier to hunt and keep track of eachother. In your little
group, either Bofur, Thorin or Frerin would go hunting for food and Avila or
you would cook it. In some of the more desolate areas there would be very
little food and not everyone would be able to eat. Sometimes the food
availability would only worsen and many would be left to starve.
Thankfully, fruit and game were abundant near Moria.
Bofur sat near a pit of fire skinning a couple of rabbits after having plucked
the feathers off of three pea hens.
“I’ll take it from here, Bofur. Thank you”, Avila smiled taking the small knife
from his hand. “If you say so m'lady”, he slid to the side allowing Avila to
sit. You sat next to her and grabbed another knife and went to work on the
potatoes in silence.
“It doesn’t sound good”, Bofur said looking up from his pipe. Both you and
Avila glanced in his direction. “By the sound of Thorin’s conversation with
Thráin, the scout didn’t go so well”.
Avila ripped the fur off the back of the dead rabbit with more force than
necessary, “What? Are we to expect war? Did our brothers refuse us shelter?”,
you gave her a look and she fell silent once more.
“What kind of trouble are we expecting?”, you asked Bofur. He shrugged, “We’ll
soon have answers”.
===============================================================================
Dinner had been pleasant enough as you sat with Glóin, Avila, Bofur and Dís.
Avila had taken bowls of food to the King and princes for they didn’t leave
their tent for many hours. Bofur and Glóin entertained the ladies with their
wild stories which never seem to run out. But they always managed to bring a
smile to your lips.
The fire burned bright and smoke rose into the dark starlit sky. Moments like
this, when people came together, regardless their status and titles, to share
the warmth of a fire and a bowl of food, were times you would remember for the
rest of your life.
Soon you excused yourself and retreated into your tent to get some rest. You
washed your hands in the bowl of water you brought in. There was no point but
you tried to keep clean as best as you could. Your face, hands and feet were
constantly dirty and you haven’t seen a new dress since you left Erebor. Your
once pretty velvet coat and dress were in tatters and was a deep murky color.
You’ve washed it a couple times whenever you saw a lake, but those were rare
occasions. You took off your frayed corset and laid down on the pile of rags
and pulled a decent sized cloth over yourself. It didn’t do much, you still
felt cold and the ground was hard against your back event through the rags. You
almost blew out the candle when Frerin walked in.
He hadn’t been willing to let you sleep alone or let you sleep with Dís unless
there was someone watching after you. Thorin and Dís shared a tent and no body
had said word when Frerin and you slept together because no one cared about
proper conduct anymore. Of course nothing inappropriate happened between you
two. He honestly just worried about you and keeping his family alive.
You sat up while he took his armor off and put down his weapons.
“What happened? How did it go?”, you asked.
He sighed and was quiet for a while before he replied, “Orcs have taken Khazad-
dûm and grandfather had decided to take it back”. You gasped.
“So you must go? To…war?”, you just couldn’t be able to bare anymore death.
“Yes. Come morning we will take back Khazad-dûm.”, he said walking over to you
and laying down next to you. He beckoned you to come closer, you rested your
head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around you to keep you warm.
“Better?”, he asked once you stopped shivering. You nodded , “but can I not
convince you to stay?”.
He chuckled and pulled you up to looked into your eyes, “I’ll be fine”, he
kissed you deeply while pinning you down and crawling on top of you.
He kissed all the way down your neck, “I don’t want to speak of such things
tonight, my love”, he whispered against your skin. He gently sucked on that
spot and you wrapped your arms around him. He licked the outline of your bottom
lip and bit down on it gently, you kissed eachother fiercely. He pulled away
and flopped down next to you, in a flash he had turned you on to your side so
that your back was pressed up against his chest. He kissed your neck and down
your shoulder while his hand found its way down your arm and rested on your
breast. You let out a small squeak in surprise. You could feel his lips curl in
a smile against your skin.
He slowly began moving his hand, grabbing a handful of your breast. He left a
trail of love bites down your neck and shoulder. You found that your lips
parted and little cried of pleasure tumbled out. Your back arched
involuntarily, rubbing against Frerin’s growing crotch, he drew in a sharp
breath and tightened his grasp on you. You froze when you realized what you’ve
done, he responded with a grind on your butt. Then another.
His hand left your clothed breast and trailed down your curves and back up
again, then down towards your warmth. You were taken by surprise so you
flinched away from his touch and in doing so, ground into his crotch. He
groaned in his throat, he liked what you were doing to him.
But it wasn’t intentional, this didn’t feel right to you. His hand pressed down
on your crotch through your dress and your hands immediately grasped his arm
and gave it a short but firm push. He pulled back at once when he understood
that you were resisting.
“I’m sorry”, he said quietly, “I’m sorry if I offended you. I just
thought..that we were good as married by now”.
You buried your face in the crook of his arm, completely torn apart. These past
few months didn’t leave any room for romance or ceremonies. Your relationship
with Frerin and Thorin had been put on hold - a plateau. And it meant that your
feelings for both of hadn’t changed.
“Y/n..I know you have feelings for me, and I also know love isn’t one of them”,
Frerin tenderly tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear. You couldn’t bring
yourself to lie to him anymore, if he dies tomorrow you couldn’t live with it.
“Do you love him?“,there was hesitation in his voice and you could tell that it
was difficult for him to ask this. You froze up and you tried to sink lower
into the rags.
“Who?”, you weakly mumbled into his arm.
He let out a low chuckle, “Don’t do that. You know who I mean”. Of course you
did, but did he really expect you to admit to being in love with his brother?
“I know you did your best to love me. And you were good to me but I can’t keep
you from following your heart. It’s not fair. I will love you till the moment I
draw my last breath but I don’t want you to live an unhappy-”.
“I’m not unhappy”, you interuppted, “I want to forget him. I can’t ever be with
him and I docare for you..just give me some time..”, you said turning around.
His lips were set in a slight smile that did very little to conceal his
sadness.
“I think I’ve taken enough of your time, my love..I will talk to father about
you and Thorin”.
“No!”, you said abruptly, “It’s not right and you know it. Your father will
never agree. I will love you like you love me".
You reached up hastily and held his face in your hands and placed a kiss on his
lips. “I’m fairly certain that even though we’re homeless our people won’t be
so quick to pardon a break in tradition”.
“If you had the freedom to choose differently, you would, wouldn’t you?”, he
asked running his fingers over your cheek, “and speak truthfully”.
You were very uncomfortable. You looked down at the bead you’d given him
resting at the end of his braid. Sadly you nodded your answer.
“I didn’t want to hurt you. I never did, I never want to”, you whispered.
“I know that”, Frerin smiled, “Jus...nothing. Forget it. Get some rest, my
love", he said kissing your forehead and blowing out the candle.
Darkness fell in the tiny tent and you lay there motionless, any hope of rest
left you. You thought twice about speaking anything more and just laid there
feeling disturbed and guilty. Hours passed by and you finally fell asleep an
hour before sunrise.
===============================================================================
You had gathered with the rest of the people who weren't part of the army too
them off. You stood next to Dís and Avila who's face was tear stained and red
as she watched her husband on his pony.
They began to move and the women threw flowers at their feet. You tossed your
flower before Frerin, Thráin and Thrór and Frerin smiled and bowed his head at
you. You vaguely wondered why Thorin wasn't anywhere in sight but before you
could even register it, the sound of people parting behind you caused you to
look over your shoulder. Before you knew it, Thorin’s hand grabbed your
shoulder and pulled you aside to get past you and Dís. He was so close that you
couldn't help but notice a familiar bead in a braid hidden under locks of his
hair. It was the bead you had lost so very long ago at one of the feasts. He
turned his head to the side and gave you a slight smirk before joining in the
departing army.
***** Death Is Commonplace *****
Chapter Notes
     It's been awhile huh?
     I'm back home for the summer and I finally can work on this in peace.
     I'm sooo sorry for abandoning this story, but I hope to keep a steady
     flow of chapters coming out throughout this summer.
     Getting back into the groove of writing was a bit challenging, so
     bare with me till I get the hang of it again.
     Please comment on how I can improve and leave kudos!
     Enjoy <3
The next two days stretched on and seemed never ending to you and most of your
people. Anxiety had you on edge and you were constantly on the lookout for
Thorin, Frerin and the rest. You hated that you were the stereotypical damsel
waiting for your beau to come home from war, but you couldn’t help it; you
wanted to know that everyone was alright. But you knew that wasn’t realistic.
It was war and countless innocent people died.
“Y/n, stop worrying so. They will be alright", Dís said walking past you with
basket of berries in her arms. She seemed to be the only rational one amongst
you during this stressful time, maybe it was because she was used to having her
brothers and father go off to battle. Erebor had never been safe from the
threat of orc attacks.
The sky was shadowed by dusk, the air was still and cold, smoke rose into the
air from many fires scattered through out the camp. You pulled the tattered
shawl tighter around you as you walked towards the brook at the far end of the
field. Dipping the wooden bucket in the babbling water, you pulled it out and
headed back to make dinner.
“What did you find today, Bofur?”, you tried to sound quirky and free your mind
from your thoughts for awhile.
“Rabbit again, I’m afraid. Barely big enough for a dwarfling”, he looked up
from the rabbit he was skinning and gave you an apologetic look.
You set the bucket down and washed one of the rabbit carcasses in the water,
“It’s alright, this is plenty. I could make a stew with the leftover bits of
vegetables”.
You began slicing the meat off the bones, “We’ve been hunting in these parts
for much too long. There are too many mouths to feed and the orcs have either
slaughtered or scared the game away. It’s not your fault, Bofur”.
Bofur smiled gratefully, “You’re too kind, Y/n. But if I don’t improve my
hunting skills, we might not make it through the winter".
“Why not? When we take back Moria we’d have plenty food to survive many
winters".
Bofur was most definitely not a fighter, but he didn’t stay behind because he
was a coward; he was probably one of the bravest people you knew, he was left
behind with a handful of other dwarves to hunt and provide protection for the
darrowdam. You have grown quite fond of the dwarf in the funny hat, he had a
way of always lifting your spirits.
After an hour or so, the stew was made and you took a bowl full into Avila’s
tent where she was bedridden with fever. The fever had had taken a few of the
dwarves and you feared that you had lost Avila too, but last night the fever
eased up and she gained some of her consciousness back.
Setting the bowl down, you knelt at her side. She was asleep, her breathing was
steady which was good. You grabbed the nearby washcloth and dabbed at her
slightly glistening brow. She was still warmer than normal but better than she
was last night.
“Are they back yet?”, she mumbled fighting to open her eyes.
“Not yet…soon”, you smoothed her hair, “How are you feeling?”.
“I wish I was still unconscious. At least then I didn’t feel the pain”, she
grumbled.
“Here, have something to eat. It will help”, you helped her sit up and lifted a
spoonful to her lips.
The distinct sound of returning horns in the distance pierced the calm
atmosphere of the tent. You almost dropped the hot bowl on Avila’s lap, both
heads snapped to the entrance of the tent. Your heart raced with excitement and
anticipation, you glanced at Avila who raised her eyebrows and took the bowl
from you, “Go!”.
That’s all the encouragement you needed. In a matter of seconds you were racing
through the camp towards the mass of gathered people. You pushed and squeezed
your way towards the front to get a better view.
The army looked much smaller, almost half the number of soldiers hadn’t
returned. The ones that did return found their way to their loved ones, you
could already hear the wails of the heartbroken and abandoned.
Your eyes wandered from face to face, searching for Thorin and Frerin. Everyone
looked severely wounded and drained. The crowd was dispersing along with the
soldiers when you at last spotted Thorin. He was covered in dirt and drying
blood, his hair matted on his the sides of his head. But you didn’t care, you
ran up to him and flung your arms around his neck, taking him by surprise.
“You’re alright”, you breathed into his battered armor. He grunted in pain at
the contact before slowly wrapping his arms around you. You were so glad to
feel his heart beating against your cheek and hear his soft breathing. He
slowly stepped back and looked down at your flushed face. His eyes were sad and
he looked ten years older, he reached for your hand and grasped it gently. You
felt a small cold weight drop onto your palm.
“I’m so sorry”, his voice almost faltered.
You opened your clenched fist and your heart dropped to your feet. It was the
bead you had given Frerin as a sign of your engagement. You felt numb and all
you could hear was the blood rushing in your veins. It couldn’t be.
“Tell me it isn’t so..”, you said with tears welling in your eyes. It wasn't
that you couldn't handle the loss, death is commonplace in your world now, it's
just that you felt like a murderous witch for toying with his heart and
promising him things you couldn't provide him with. Could his broken heart have
had some part in his death? Thorin’s gaze dropped to the ground, it was plain
that he was trying to keep what composure he had left.
“We lost good dwarves. The king has fallen. So has my brother. But we won back
Moria”.
You squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head vigorously. Thorin was almost
dizzy from the blood loss, but you didn’t notice. He sat down and a darrowdam
came rushing over.
“My prince, you’re wounded..”, she got to work at once, removing his armor and
washing the blood. You barely noticed what was happening around you, you felt
so disconnected from reality.
Dazed, you slowly sat down next to Thorin. The bead in your hand felt like a
burning ember that weighed the world. Frerin was really gone.
“It’s not your fault. None of this is”, Thorin through ragged breaths.
The pain in his voice tugged at your floating mind and you tried to process
your surroundings. Thorin was leaning against a tree, fighting to stay
conscious as the girl worked on his wounds. You moved to help but she insisted
that she could handle it. You put the bead in your pocket and stood up to
provide assistance elsewhere.
===============================================================================
With the King dead and his son mysteriously disappearing one night, the
responsibility of deciding the fate of the people of Erebor fell to Thorin. It
was decided that Ered Luin would be the wiser choice for a new settlement since
rebuilding Moria into a habitable and safe home was impossible. Resources and
money was needed, all of which neither him nor his people possessed right now.
Thorin allowed a few days to drift by; long enough for the injured and sick to
recover. And the day dawned when you must be on the road again.
You stepped into his tent. It was dark and foreboding, specially with the dim,
dark blue light of dusk shining in through the seams of the tent. Your eyes
fell on the figure that was sitting in a corner with a sword in hand.
You felt his intense gaze on you.
“Forgive me for not coming sooner..”, you began feeling very guilty all of a
sudden, after all this was the first time you were seeing him since he returned
from Moria.
He didn’t move. Gathering your nerves you took small, brisk steps towards him
to tend to the matter at hand. You felt around on the floor next to him till
you found flint stones and half a candle. Once you got it lit, you saw that he
had improved since last you saw him. You pulled out the small jar of salve from
your pocket.
His brooding eyes flickered to your hand, “I don’t need that”.
“I disagree. So do the healers”, you glanced at his bare chest and saw that the
skin around the gashes was still red although the wounds themselves had healed
quite well. You dipped your fingers in the salve and brought them upto his
chest.
“You don’t have to”, his hand seized yours before you made contact with his
flesh. His eyes swept your confused face, “I can do it”.
“I know you’re quite capable. But…let me…to make up for my absence”.
He slowly let go and let you proceed. You worked quickly and quietly and
focused on the gashes and ignored his nerve wrecking gaze on you. He laid his
sword down next to him.
“It’s almost time. Are the people ready?”, he asked in a serious fashion. You
nodded your reply and rested your hands on your lap once you were done tending
to him.
You searched his face, “Thorin..about that..well…why are we doing this really?
If we truly wanted to rebuild Moria, we can surely get the aid of the Iron
Hills and even Belegost. You know as well as I do that they wouldn’t forsaken
us. Tell me for I need to know, why are we not staying here?”.
His face hardened and his gaze wandered to the side before sighing, “You just
might be too smart for your own good, Y/n”. Thorin stood up and offered you his
hand which you took.
“When we fought the orcs and pushed on into the heart of Khazad-dûm”, he
explained while pulling on his weathered tunic, “we saw it. Durin’s bane. A
Balrog. There is no way we can get Khazad-dûm back now”. Your eyes widened and
you thanked Aulë for allowing Thorin to get out alive, “I thought they all died
long before”.
Thorin shrugged lightly and turned to face you.
"And of course the last of their kind had to take one of our cities", you
sighed studying Thorin’s grave face, "it couldn't pick one of those Valar
forsaken elf cities", you smirked.
Thorin raised an eyebrow as his lips slowly turned upwards at the corners, "Now
that's a thought". He took short strides towards you without breaking eye
contact.
"How have you been, Y/n?", he asked gently.
You stared into his deep dark eyes searching for words, "I-I'm..alright..".
His eyes flickered to your lips as they formed your poorly chosen words and
back to your eyes. He was silent for a while before responding with an abrupt,
"Good".
"Ride with me up front", it was more of a statement than a request and he was
out the tent before you could reply.
Somethings never change and you didn't know if you should be frustrated or
comforted by this fact.
***** Ered Luin *****
The day was at an end, the gentle winds were carrying the birds home and the
sun was sinking in the east leaving a trail of orange tint in the sky. You
pulled the cart behind you towards the back of the small house and set it
against the cobblestone wall. Pushing open the back door, you stepped into the
dark kitchen and flopped down at the table, letting out a tired sigh.
It’s been two years since you reached the Blue Mountains. It had been difficult
finding a place to build a settlement, your kind either didn’t get along well
with the locals or it was too expensive to live in that area. And finally,
Thorin chose the Blue Mountains. A few miles from Dunland and a little more
south from the dwarven city of Nogrod, you happened upon a small merchant
village sheltered by the shadows of the mountains. Over the span of two years,
with the help of Nogrod and through hard work, the dwarves of Erebor made this
village into quite a large town, making use of the trade routs and the nearby
sea, many dwarves built successful lives for themselves. Few discovered mines
in the mountains and made fortunes, while some who lacked the skills to do such
tasks, like yourself, turned to other things.
You had chosen a secluded house away from the heart of the town and near to the
sea. It was a small two storied house, big enough for a kitchen, sitting room
and two bedrooms; it wasn’t much but it was enough for you. Being near the sea
meant you could catch fish, harvest clams and oysters which you carted to the
market and sold to fat rich dwarves. Clams and the like, weren’t a staple in
the diets of dwarves back in Erebor because the sea was a long way off, so it
was a “treat” food. You soon found out that you could make a lot for one clam
or oyster if you targeted the right customers.
You pulled out a little coin purse and emptied its contents onto the table.
Using what little light was coming through the window, you separated the silver
coins from the copper.
Ten coppers and four silvers.
Well, that ought to get you through the rest of the week. On some nights, you
would work at one of the taverns in the town to make few extra coins. You
didn’t particularly like working there, not because the pay was bad, but
because you had very little experience with dealing drunk dwarves let alone
drunk men. They’d tease you, ogle you, cop a feel and even try their luck. But
you put up with it because some of the wealthiest people came to that tavern
and they tipped well. Just last night you had gotten a gold coin for an
unwelcome squeeze on your butt and your willingness to bite your tongue on the
matter.
Putting all money back into your purse, you got up and lit a fire in the
kitchen and living room. You were just about to go upstairs and step into a
much deserved bath, when there was an abrupt knock on the front door. You urged
your aching feet to walk to the door.
“Oh! By the Valar’s grace you’re home, Y/n”, Avila sighed in relief the moment
you swung the door open.
“I’ve tried Thorn and Dis’ and Bofur’s, because you’re the last person I wanted
to bother…I know you had a tiring day. But I have to step out to run an
important errand and Gloin is still at the forges…will you look after little
Gimli for awhile?”, she asked in a rush.
Your eyes fell onto the little redheaded, wide eyed dwarfling in Avila’s arms,
who gurgled and smiled at you.
“Of course, Avila. It’s not a problem at all”, you smiled taking the baby in
your arms.
“I’ve already fed the little lad, so he should fall right asleep. If he doesn’t
here’s his favorite toy. I know he shan’t be too much of a bother”, she said
knitting her eyebrows.
“I know, I’ve watched him for you before”, you said laughing as you rolled your
eyes.
She shrugged before eyeing your outfit, “I see you haven’t changed your mind
about pants yet”, she said wrinkling her nose.
“They’re practical”, you said glancing at your dusty brown pants, “I can’t be
wading through the waters looking for shellfish and walking to the market and
back in a dress. It’s the most aggravating thing, trust me”.
“I suppose”, she said before giving Gimli a quick peck on the cheek and turning
to leave.
You shut the door and bounced Gimli up and down, eliciting a string of giggles
and happy squeals.
“Guess my bath would have to wait”, you said laughing along.
Before you could set Gimli down on the couch, there was a knock on the door
again. You made a face at Gimli, “Your mommy worries too much”.
You opened the door to face Thorin. He had his hands clasped behind his back
and a slight smile on his lips, he nodded his greeting before you spoke, “And
what brings you here?”.
You laughed as you stepped aside to let him in. It was a good question though,
because Thorin spent much of his time working at the smithy and the rest
chasing down whispers of the whereabouts of his lost father. He never could
spare any time to do other things, not even to just have a moment to himself.
So naturally, his presence at your door delighted you.
"Am I interrupting something?", he glanced at the baby in your arms.
"Not at all. I'm watching him till Avila gets back. What did you have in
mind?".
"Nothing in particular. I wished to call on you, since it's been quite sometime
since I last did", he smiled apologetically.
"I understand that you're busy. You owe me no apology. We must do what must be
done to get by", you shrugged as you walked to the fur couch and put Gimli down
and built a cushion fort around him to keep him from falling. You then handed
him his stuffed toy to entertain himself with.
"Speaking of which, you look tired. And in need of a wash", he spoke in his
baritone voice which you've missed so much.
"So are you", you laughed as you studied his soot covered face. He most likely
came over as soon as he finished work at the forge.
"Go on. I'll look after him till you get back”, he said taking a seat next to
Gimli’s fort.
“If you’re certain you can manage Gimli’s fiery temper tantrums”, you said
giggling as you climbed the stairs.
“I’m quite sure that I can outmatch his temper”.
You looked over your shoulder and saw that his face bore a serious expression,
“I don’t doubt that”, you smirked as he chuckled.
===============================================================================
After taking a short bath, you slipped into a light dress. You sometimes missed
having a couple hundred dresses and whatnot to choose from, but you had grown
accustomed to having the five options you had in your small armoire. The two
pairs of shoes and the inexpensive coral hair comb you saved for special
occasions, were quite enough.
As you went down the stairs, you quickly braided your damp hair into a loose
rope, partly to retain the waves and partly because you didn’t want to be
undone in front of Thorin.
Thorin was gently brushing a few of Gimli’s red curls away from his sleeping
face. You’ve never seen him handle something so carefully before and it was a
baffling scene. The second he heard your footsteps, his hand retreated.
“Did he fuss?”, you asked in a hushed voice.
“No. He behaved”, he said leaning forward in his seat.
“Well then”, you looked around awkwardly, thinking of what to say next, “you
must be hungry. I’ve not made dinner, because I wasn’t expecting guests. But I-
”
“Please don’t trouble yourself. I’m not hungry”, he cut you off. Since there
wasn’t any room left on the couch for you sit on, he slid onto the wooden floor
and beckoned you to join him.
Sitting next to him again brought back so many memories. You sat in silence for
a few minuted before Thorin turned his head to look at you.
“Y/n, I don’t deem it safe for you to be living out here all by yourself”, he
said quietly, “it’s too far out of the way”.
You broke out into a hushed chuckle, “Thorin, I’m no warrior but I managed to
survive out here for two years”.
“Orcs are getting bolder, for some reason five were found wandering the
outskirts of Nogrod. Who’s to say they won’t stumble upon our town? You’d be
much safer near the town square, should it happen”.
“Where am I going to get my clams from? And how am I going to pay for a house
in the town? It’s thrice the pay I paid for this one”, you reasoned.
“Stay with Dis. I know she gets lonesome when I’m not around”, he offered
unwilling to yield.
You placed a hand on his, “I am going to alright”, you said softly.
He let out an frustrated sigh before resolving to silence. He slowly clasped
your hand, “I do worry about you. And I think of you everyday...it is a
bittersweet torment. Might I ask of you a favor to ease my mind?”
You nodded, unable to form words. You had thought that Thorin had lost his
feelings for you long before. The thought hurt because your affections for him
still burned strong.
“I gather you work at the tavern near the crossroads”.
“Some nights”, you added.
“I don’t like it. I know what drunk men are like. Someone could hurt you... I
don’t want their filthy hands on you”, he said tightening his grip on your
hand.
You smiled weakly at him, “Thorin, you know I do what I must. There is no other
work for someone like me here”.
“You wouldn’t need to work two jobs if you lived with us. I could take care of
you...”, he whispered desperately.
“Thorin..I-I don’t know...”, you said looking at your lap. You looked up when
you felt his forehead press against yours. He was leaning into kiss you and you
found yourself doing the same.
A loud knock on the door had you scrambling to your feet. You opened the door
and Avila swept in.
“I’m so sorry it took so long. You wouldn’t believe the amount of paperwork you
have to clear in ord-”, she stopped short when she noticed Thorin standing next
to Gimli.
“Well, forgive me my lord”, she bowed her head. Although Thorin had lost
everything, people who were still loyal to him considered him their King.
“Please, think nothing of it. I was just on my way”, he said as he nodded a
farewell to you and Avila.
Once the door shut behind him Avila turned to face you with wide eyes, “My, my!
I haven’t seen Thorin so flushed in..well..ever! I think he fancies you”.
“You think?”, you asked trying to contain your laughter. Avila walked over to
the couch and lovingly picked up her slumbering dwarfling.
“This might be good for him. He has changed profusely. He doesn’t talk much
neither is he happy. I do understand. Neither of us are thrilled to be away
from home, and since he is the heir, it must be doubly unsettling. But what can
one do, other than accept the hand of cards you’ve been dealt and make the most
of it’.
You sighed.
Avila looked over at you, “It would do you some good too”, she said gently, “Y/
n, it’s been three years since Frerin died”. You cringed at his name, it still
hurt to speak of him. “It’s time you moved on”.
She walked over to the door, “Just think about it?”.
You lifted a corner of your lips in a half smile before nodding.
She promptly stepped outside with a “Good night”.
“Good night”, you said into the empty house.
***** Art *****
Chapter Notes
     Any ideas on how I should continue this? Any help would be much
     appreciated :)
     Thank you for reading, leave kudos <3
     Enjoy!
“Over here sweet cheeks! Another round!”.
You rolled your eyes as you struggled with the five tankards of ale in your
hands, you squeezed past a couple dwarves and dodged another who tripped onto
your path.
The tavern was full tonight, but not unusual for a Friday. The air was stuffy
and stank of ale and rum, the sound of drunken slurs and laughter was deafening
and the orders kept on piling up as the night stretched on. The tavern was
short staffed tonight and you and one other employee tried your best to juggle
the customers efficiently.
You quickly handed out the tankards and hastily walked away to end to the
others.
“Hey now! Don’t just run off, come talk to us”, the table you just served burst
out laughing.
You rolled your eyes for the umpteenth time before replying, “I’m sorry but
it’s a busy night, I have things to do”. On your first night working here you
had told one of the chatty, handsy ones to sod off and that didn’t go over too
well with your employer. You had to be pleasant and “entertaining” enough for
his customers if they were to come back.
You wiped your damp hands on your tight leather pants and proceeded to fill
seven tankards with beer. You prayed that they asked for beer and you weren’t
muddling their order up with that of the two humans who sat at the far end.
“I didn’t want to believe the rumors..but here you are”.
You nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard that voice. Spinning around
you met Fallas’ eyes. Anguish flared inside you, your mind was hazy with images
of that night…of Iari and her demise. Naturally, your first instinct was to
kill him. Your hand shot to the dagger Thorin had given you years before which
you concealed at the base of your spine.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. We’re in public, I can easily disarm you and
also you will get fired”, he grinned.
You snorted in disbelief, “I would go homeless and starve if it meant I can end
your life”.
“Well the fact is you can’t. Why get yourself killed when you have so much to
live for”, you couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic.
“What do you want?”, you demanded.
He leaned against the table he was sitting at, “First, how ‘bout some
hospitality. This is no way to treat a customer”, he flashed his perfect teeth
at you. Catching your boss’s eye, you handed him the tankard you held in your
hand.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get back to my job”, you said abruptly
after.
"I came all the way from Belegost to seek you and this is how you treat me?",
he asked grasping your hand. You flinched like his touch burned your skin.
"What do you want from me?", you whispered trying to hold your rage and tears
back.
He chugged the tankard and slammed it down on the table. He ran his glove clad
fingers through his blond locks and replaced his quirky grin with a slightly
intimidating one while he looked you up and down, "rags to silk and to rags
again, huh?", he chuckled, "What do I want? There's nothing you can give me
anymore. Your family's riches..all gone. But you see..I didn't appreciate how I
was treated at Erebor. I could barely stand or remember my name the next day. I
vaguely remember hearing the flames and the screams of your dying people", he
motioned you to fill his tankard and you reluctantly got up and did so.
"Nothing you didn't deserve", you sneered, "get to your bloody point".
He held up a finger and took a large gulp of his drink, which annoyed you to no
extent. "It's a real shame what happened to Erebor. Our families would have
been benefited mutually. Iari...", your eyes flared, "Iari would have given me
lots of heirs, she would have been my little pet".
"Don't get me wrong, my first choice was you. You were the oldest, and the heir
to most of the family's fortune and the most beautiful of the two. But you were
promised to another and Iari was all too willing and easy".
You clenched your fists, "you had no right..no right to touch her", you managed
to say.
He let out a laugh, "Ah, I guess I was spoiled when I was younger. My parents
let me have anything I wanted. Old habits die hard I suppose". He glided a
finger over your cheek, "I always take what I want. And I want you".
You swatted his hand away and looked at him in disgust, "I would rather eat
shit".
He smirked in amusement, "Such words from a lady?".
"Fuck you", you snapped.
“Hmm”, he leaned in closer, “Like I said, I didn’t like how I was treated in
Erebor and I am what you might call, a sadist", he chuckled. "And do you
remember what you said to me that nigh? I shall never know happiness again?”,
he let out a throaty chuckle, “I don’t believe you are in any position to do
anything of the sort anymore. I, on the other hand, can make your pathetic,
miserable life a tenfold worse”.
You smirked disdainfully, “What more can you take from me that I haven’t
already lost?”.
“Plenty. You probably know of the power I have in Belegost. And after my
marriage to the Lady of Nogrod, I have considerable power there too...to make a
long story short; without our trade, your people are good as dead. I will bring
your town to the ground”.
You were reeling at his words. You were trapped. “Why...”, you whispered.
“Because I can. And no one threatens me”, he smirked, “And don’t get any ideas
about running away. I will still crush this place and find you nonetheless”.
He ran his fingers over your trembling chin and across your burning lips.
“Lord Fallas”, Thorin said as he dropped his heavy belt pouch between the two
of you. It gave off a deafening clang as you jumped up to your feet.
“What brings you here?”, Thorin asked folding his hands before him.
Fallas widened his grin as he took in Thorin’s form. It gave him great pleasure
to see Thorin reduced to this, he was covered in soot like he always was after
work, his royal clothes gone and his hair a dirty mess.
“Business. It is a delight to see you again”, he said rising to his feet.
Even thought Thorin held no titles or had no land to rule over, he still looked
a hundred times more kingly than Fallas did, with or without silken robes.
“I think it best that you’d be on your way”, Thorin said lowering his voice.
Fallas looked between the two of you before it clicked.
“Of course. It’s getting quite late”, Fallas reached for your stiff hand and
placed a kiss on it, “Till we meet again, my pet”.
You cringed as he smiled at you, he gave Thorin a slight nod and walked out of
the tavern.
“Are you alright?”, Thorin asked gently. He immediately noticed that you were
unsettled. You nodded your head vigorously before picking up scattered
tankards.
“What did he want?”, he pressed.
“Nothing”, you said wearily, all you waned to do was avoid the subject for now
and get all this work sorted.
“What are you doing here?”, you asked. You hadn’t seen him for a week since
your last encounter, “This isn’t your usual tavern”.
He shrugged, “thought I’d walk you home”.
Your face softened into a small smile, “I still have plenty time before we
close. You go on ahead”.
“I’ve got time. I can wait”, he said walking to a shadowed corner and sitting
down at a table.
He smoked his pipe while watching you move about, serving people their drinks
and food. You didn’t let Fallas bother your mind for the rest of the night
because you felt safe with Thorin in the room.
===============================================================================
You had left the tavern half an hour ago and now you were a few minutes away
from home. It was well past midnight, the moon was a sliver in the sky and
there weren’t many stars out.
You sighed in fatigue. Thorin looked down at you from inspecting the sky.
“We’re almost there. Would you like me to carry you?”.
You laughed and then stopped when you realized that he was being serious, “I’ll
be alright”.
He began whistling the tune to one of your favourite songs as you continued
down the beaten path.
===============================================================================
You flopped down on the couch and kicked your boots off. Thorin stood studying
one of the walls you hung small pictures and carvings on. Most of them bore the
style of the art back home in Erebor.
“Where did you get these?”
“There are painters at the market who sell those for a copper or less. They
make less than anyone at the market. Whenever I see one who sells them, I buy
one”, you shrugged.
“They are quite beautiful...but why?”, he turned to look at you.
“People have lost the time to indulge in the arts or anything of the like. Or
have they chosen not to anymore? I believe that when we lose our interest in
art, we lose our humanity. That is when we truly fail as a civilization”.
He cocked his head to the side by a fraction before slowly giving you a nod.
You stared at each other for a few seconds before he spoke,
“Well..I..should be getting back”, he said taking a step towards the door.
You shifted in your seat without saying anything. You didn’t want him to leave,
you didn’t want to be alone. The thought of him leaving brought back flashes of
Fallas and the conversation you had, and for the first time you were afraid to
be alone in your house.
Thorin noticed the change in you. He walked up to you and got down on one knee
so that you were eye to eye.
“What’s wrong, Y/n?”,he asked softly hooking a finger under your chin.
You sighed, “Are you sure you have to go? It’s quite late and you shouldn’t be
out alone”, you tried making excuses for him to stay without sounding odd.
His amusement was plain on his lips.
“Of course I shouldn’t. You’re right. You think I could stay here for the
night?”.
You smiled sheepishly before nodding.
“But, please...tell me what’s bothering you”, he searched your face.
“I’ll..tell you later”, you said averting his gaze.
He didn’t say anything more. You stood up and let him settle on the couch.
After making sure he was comfortable, you put the fire out and started on the
steps to your room.
“Y/n?”, Thorin called out.
“Yes?”
“You should have let me kill him that night”.
You let out a small sigh, “I know”.
***** A Day Off *****
Chapter Notes
     So I started the drabble games on tumblr. Please join/submit a
     request so I can write you drabbles.
     Please enjoy, and leave kudos! You guys give me life :)
It was midday and the sun had risen high in the sky.
Light streamed in through your small window and hit your eye. You groaned in
protest and pulled the sheets over your head and attempted to settle back into
sleep. Before you could resume your dream, the events of last night came
flooding back to you. You pushed the sheets off and jumped to your feet and ran
downstairs. Thorin had probably left for the forges by now and you needed to
head to the market.
On your way down the steps, you smelled fresh brewed tea and slowed your
decent. Should you be worried? Has someone broken into your house? Was it
Fallas? And why was he making tea? No way in heaven or hell would Thorin make
tea. You peeked inside the kitchen.
“So you’re awake”.
You jumped and relaxed at the same time. It was Thorin. He was sitting at the
table with his back to you.
“I overslept. Shouldn’t you be at work?”, you asked sliding into the seat next
to him. He nodded and looked up from whittling the little stick in his hand.
“I didn’t want to just leave you”, he shrugged.
Even though you didn’t tell him anything about Fallas, he knew you were on edge
and he sensed your discomfort last night.
“But now that you’re up, I really must be on my way”, he said sheathing his
dagger in his boot.
“Oh. Alright”, just thinking about walking to the market made your already sore
muscles ache even more. It had been a long week. You needed all the money you
could get to start re-shingling the roof and make a few other fortifications
around the house. There was talk of a storm coming in the following days and
you figured paying for prevention rather than the cure..which was buying a
whole new house, was cheaper and probably wouldn’t kill you.
“Y/N?”
Your head snapped up to meet his soft gaze.
“Take the day off. I think you need it. I’ll send Dwalin to tend to the roof
today. He needs the work”, he said placing his calloused hand on yours.
You flushed, “No I’ve got this. Besides I can’t pay for someone to do it for
me. I’m only a couple coppers short on finishing the refurbishments”.
“Please, because I ask of you. Stay. I’ll pay Dwalin, he won’t ask much. And
you said it yourself: you only need a few more coppers. Taking today off won’t
hurt”, he said giving your hand a squeeze.
You shook your head, “I can’t allow you to pay for my house. It isn’t
necessary, I can do it myself. And how did you know about the roof anyway?”.
“I saw the shingles out back. But have you ever shingled a roof before?”, he
questioned raising an eyebrow.
You shrugged, “I can learn”.
“Fine. Dwalin will teach you. It’s better to have him around in case you break
a leg”, he said making his way to the front door.
You rolled your eyes and sighed as you stood to follow him, “Fine. Just..let me
pay you back”.
“Sure, sure”, he said nonchalantly which assured you that he was in no way
about to make you do that.
He stepped onto your front porch and turned to smile at your sleepy face, “Stay
in today, read your books...go back to sleep...rest. I know Dis has been
wanting to come visit. She has news, maybe she’ll drop by today”.
You flashed a bright smile, you’d like that.
“Thorin...thank you...for staying”, you said fidgeting with your loose fitting
shirt.
“I-”, before you could blabber on, he kissed your forehead and took a few steps
back. You smiled at him and he bowed his head.
“Good day, my lady”, and he was gone.
===============================================================================
You were thankful that you didn’t have to be alone in the house for long.
Dwalin came knocking in a few hours after Thorin left. Even in broad daylight
you felt uneasy and was jumpy throughout the day.
When Dwalin had shed his fur mantel and grabbed his tools, you followed him
out. He examined the roof before looking around for a foothold to hoist himself
up, then he saw you standing next to him, hands clasped behind your back and
looking at him expectantly.
“What are yer doin’ lass?”, he asked lowering his eyebrows.
“Hm? Oh! I’m..learning?”, you squeaked. You felt so small next to this giant
dwarf and since you’ve only met him a handful of times, you didn’t want to
upset him.
His face softened a fraction, “This is no work for a dwarrowdam”.
“I have to learn. I don’’t have anyone to do this for me”, you said feeling
alone all of a sudden. You never had the need to do such things back in Erebor,
you had a father who took care of these things. Thoughts of your family made
your eyes wet and lips tremble.
Dwalin wouldn’t have noticed your reactions hadn’t your voiced cracked. He
rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
“Lass, as long as Thorin and I are around, you will never have to touch a
shingle”.
You laughed as you tried to regain your composure, “Are you certain? Will you
be alright?”.
He burst out laughing, “Aye, I will be fine. I’ll ask for your help if things
get out of hand. Now be off with ya”, he said giving you a slight nudge towards
the backdoor
“Go tend to yer flowers and what not...bake a pie”, he mumbled as you thought
about taking offense to his last words.
He shut the door behind you and got to work.
===============================================================================
You did enjoy yourself. After doing a few chores around the house, you settled
into a warm bath and relaxed for a while. Dwalin did a fantastic job on the
roof and you sent him away with your undying gratitude and a pie like he had
suggested.
Since you were expecting Dis to come over, you had cooked dinner for the both
of you and with the hope that Thorin would join you as well, you made one of
his favourite dish. Now that you had done everything you needed to, you were
now sprawled on the couch in front of the fire with your nose in a book.
You jumped when thunder cracked in the distance. You put the book down and
hurried to the window next to the front door.
The sky was dark and the fading light was soften even more by the grey clouds
that blocked the setting sun. The wind had picked up and was blowing leaves and
twigs around your front yard with a vengeance. Big raindrops had already begun
to wet the earth and you wondered why the rain had started so early.
A faint warning bell went off in the back of your mind when you saw the rain
and a few seconds later you gasped and ran out the back door to save your
drying laundry.
Your hair whipped around you and you fought to grab as many flapping pieces of
laundry as you could. A grating sound on the roof had you wondering why Dwalin
was still on the roof. The rain was coming down quite hard now.
But wait. Dwalin had left hours ago.
Clutching the sheets to your chest you whipped around to see a snarling orc
slide down the slanting roof and landed a few feet away from you. It had a
short sword in either hand and it growled behind a sneer.
“Well, well. My luck has turned. Looks like I won’t be going hungry tonight”,
it drooled a little as it made its way towards you.
You were rooted to the earth, you didn’t have your dagger on you and you
couldn’t use clean linen to defeat an orc. It swung its swords at you and you
flung your laundry at him and jumped to the side, hoping for the best. It
swatted the flying sheets away and lunged at you.
Managing to roll away, you began to frantically crawl on your knees. You heard
desperate sobs erupting from your lips. You knew screaming will not bring you
any help. No one was around for miles.
“Ooof!”, it straddled your hips and the weight pushed your tiny form into the
wet fragrant soil. You couldn’t tell if the loud gushing sound was the rain or
the blood rushing in your veins. But you refused to give up, you elbowed the
orc in the face, which probably hurt you more than it hurt it. But the blow
dazed the orc enough to buy you time to grope the ground for a viable weapon.
Your hand fell on a fairly sized rock and without hesitation you twisted and
struck its head. You squirmed from under the anguished orc and tried to get up
and run.
You felt the weight being pulled off you and as soon as your legs were free you
managed to stumble a few feet before you heard gurgling and then nothing but
the rain and your racing heart.
Looking behind you, Thorin stood pulling his dagger out of the dead orc. You
leaned against a tree trunk in relief while you tried to catch your breath. He
wiped the dagger on the dead carcass and sheathed it before stepping over it
and towards you. He still stood a good long way from you.
You were so glad to see him. He was always there when you needed him.
You both stood motionless, staring at each other. Both drenched as the storm
raged on.
He looked you up and down, eyes following every curve of your body, the rain
had made your clothes almost see through, this made it easier for Thorin. His
intense gaze on you stirred your longing and desire for him...feelings that you
had learned to hold at bay.
What were you doing?
He took quick strides towards you and you ran towards him.
***** Impatient *****
Chapter Notes
     Killing two birds with one fic xD Cause I'm a lazy turd..but we all
     know that!
     Requested by anon for the Drabble_Games on tumblr.
     Drabble Games prompt: Looks like we'll be trapped here for a while...
     Word Count: 1,475
     Warnings: fluff, smut, angst
You flung yourself at Thorin. Wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms
around his neck, your lips crushed together in desperation while his hands held
you up.
Lightning flashed and thunder rumbled over your heads, but neither one of you
paid it any heed. Your hands tangled in his sopping wet locks, years of
yearning and lust seemed to come out all at once. Thorin’s fingers drug into
your hips and bum, enjoying every curve of your body. He licked and sucked your
parted lips, his wet beard grazed your skin which heightened your senses and
his smell! Oh, his smell of wood, fire and metal mingled with the scent of rain
was exhilarating and erotic.
You realized that you were shaking but you couldn’t tell if if was a result of
the raging storm you were standing in the middle of or the fact that Thorin’s
hands and lips being on your body. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead on
yours.
You were lost in his brilliant blue eyes, you’ve never seen him so happy
before. You were watching rain trickle down his long eyelashes when he spoke:
“You’re shaking. I’ll take you inside”.
Words tumbled out of your mouth in an impatient fashion, “Take me”.
His eyes were already heavy with lust, “I will”, he said reassuring, “but not
here”, his gaze fell onto the dead orc a few feet away from you two.
You sighed and kissed his neck repeatedly as he carried you into your house. He
laid you down on the fur in front of the fireplace. Before you could say
anything, he was making his way up the stairs.
“Thorin?”, you were very impatient. The storm only got worse, the wind howled
around your house, branches snapped off and were flung at the windows and walls
while rain came down in torrents on the roof.
You hugged your knees to your chest and basked in the warmth of the fire,
wondering what Thorin was up to.
He came down the stairs with a towel in his hand. He knelt in front of you and
kissed you once before turning you around. He grabbed hold of the hem on your
drenched shirt and pulled it off you. He undid your braids and dried your hair
then draped it over your shoulder and gently wiped your back.
He turned you around and pushed you on to the fur rug. His eyes swept down to
your heaving breasts. He wiped your damp sin, feeling your breasts through the
towel in his hand. You arched your back, inviting his wandering hands to feel
more of you. His eyes flickered to yours to seeking permission as he slipped
his fingers in your pants. When you raised your hips in compliance, he slid
your pants off in one easy motion.
Slowly he ran the towel between your legs and down them, watching your face,
enjoying your reactions. He tossed the towel to the side and pulled his tunic
over his head.
You whimpered as you took in his bare chest, his perfectly chiseled body, big
rippling muscles and thick black hair on his arms and chest that disappeared
into his pants. You sat up and reached for him, he caught your hands and pushed
you back against the fur. He climbed on top of you and kissed you with mad
passion. His work hardened hands found your breasts, his touch was hot and
rough, eliciting pleasured moans from your lips.
You ran your hands over his chest and down to the drawstrings of his pants. You
hurriedly pulled at them.
“Impatient..”, he commented chuckling.
You pushed his pants off his hips, “No foreplay. I need you”.
Thorin understood your hunger, he slipped out of his damp pants as a flash of
lightning lit up the room which was followed by a deafening clap of thunder.
He pressed up against your wet opening as you wrapped your legs around his
waist, pulling him closer, begging him to take you. He didn’t budge, he looked
at you, eyes darker than the sky outside your window.
“Thorin..please”, you begged.
“You’re so beautiful, writhing under my touch..so..undone”, his voice low and
dripping with desire. You whimpered feeling his hot length on your needy slit.
Without warning, he slid into you, trembling and fast. You cried out in bliss,
he shook and groaned against your neck. He laid still, wrecked and trying to
gather his shattered sanity to continue.
“Oh Thorin...take me. Fuck me hard”, you gasped your fingers scraping his
scalp.
You hears a low growl from deep within his chest before he started thrusting
into you, giving you everything he had. His long thrusts aimed to feel every
bit of your insides.
His grunts and your moans echoed in the room. You clawed at the fur rug while
his erratic thrust quickened.
“You’re so beautiful..y-you’re mine. Finally mine”, he panted.
“Yes!”, you burst out as he hit that sweet spot.
“I love you Y/N”, he panted, cursing in Khuzdul he spilled inside you.
He rested his forehead on your chest, trying to catch his breath. Your fingers
ran over his damp beard as you closed your eyes gasping for air. He sat up and
moved down kissing your legs.
“Thorin?”
“I’m not done. You are not done”, he said grasping your legs and spreading them
apart and pulling you down. You gasped in surprise.
He lowered his head between your legs and started lapping away around your slit
but not where you wanted him the most. He stuck two fingers in and slowly
pumped into you. Finally, he licked at your little pink bud.
Your head felt light like you were floating. Thorin looked up at you, meeting
your eyes he slowly pulled his fingers out and sucked on them, before ramming
them back in and putting his tongue back to work.
“Oh! Yeeess! Thorin!” you cried fervently as you came.
He placed one last kiss on he top of your opening before falling next to you.
You both laid there listening to the storm outside, trying to heady your
heartbeats. You rolled over to face him, he wrapped an arm around you as you
traced the intricate tattoo on his right pectoral.
He kissed the top of your head and flattened your hand on his chest, “When did
you get this?”, you asked intrigued.
“A while ago. The day I got my azyungal bead”.
You were thinking a million thoughts at once.
“Did you like it?”, you blushed.
“Getting the tattoo?”, he smirked.
“No..me..the sex..”
He tilted your head up and kissed your lips, then your nose and then your
forehead.
“It was everything I imagined it would be like. And more”.
You blushed in relief, “I don’t want to be apart anymore, Thorin”.
“You have nothing to fear, you will never get rid of me”, he smiled kissing you
again.
You smiled throwing a glance at the dark window, “Looks like we’ll be trapped
for a while…”.
“Good. That gives me time to take you again”, he chuckled kissing your jaw,
“and again”, he kissed your nose, “and again”.
You giggled but then remembered something he had told you earlier today, “I
thought Dis was coming today?”.
His face changed..from happy to exhausted.
“What’s happened”, you asked concerned.
“She got engaged a few days ago”.
Your eyes lit up, “Isn’t that a good thing? Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“She wanted to tell you herself today”,he sounded like he was uneasy talking
about this.
“Well why didn’t she?”
He sighed and rubbed his eyes with his hand, “She is getting married to a
respectable merchant from Nogrod. She’s happy Y/n..I am happy for her. But..it
all happened so fast”.
It was pretty fast, you hadn’t even known about this.
“She didn’t tell me the reason for all this rush till this morning. She was
sick this morning. The healers said she almost the baby and that’s when she
told me about it”.
You gasped, but you weren’t in any place to judge. You had premarital sex not
fifteen minutes ago.
“Is she alright? Is the baby alright?”, you questioned.
“Yes, they’re all fine. I’m just concerned. I came up here today to fetch you.
She’s been asking for you”
“Is she alone in the house?”, you panicked.
“No. Avila is with her”.
“We should go to her..”, you said making an attempt to sit up, but he just
pulled you back down.
“Don’t be daft. You could get killed. Dis is fine, stay here with me and I’ll
take you to see her in the morning”.
You nestled into his arms again and tried to forget the world and get lose in
your lover’s eyes instead.
“Now, back to the matter at hand”, he smirked gabbing a handful of your bum.
***** Red Beryl *****
The days that followed were blissful and calm. You stayed at Thorin and Dis’
where you looked after Dis when Thorin wasn’t around. To be able to do so, you
took on a full time job at the tavern and when Thorin was done with his work
he’d come to the tavern, wait for you to finish your shift and walk you back.
Every second you could spare was spent in his company. You couldn’t fathom how
you had lived your life without waking up to his face, without his awkward
jokes, his kisses and affections he showers you with when you least expect it.
And Mahal the sex! He took you everywhere he thought was possible, every room
in his house, the garden, the forge and even once in Avila’s house. You had
been against it for obvious reasons, but he promised you wouldn’t get caught
and how could you ever refuse him?
Dis had been wed to the young lad from Nogrod in a very small ceremony in
Nogrod. She only wished her family and his to be present and Turil had been
more than happy to comply to his beloved’s wishes. You had attacked the poor
lad with more questions than Thorin had. You intended to find what made him
tick, you wouldn’t have let Dis marry him if you thought something was the
matter with him or if he wasn’t worthy. But alas..you couldn’t find anything
wrong; he was a normal dwarf, with normal dreams and a perfectly normal past.
You felt that his intentions were good and he did in fact adore Dis.
“You are beginning to like Turil”, Dis preened as Turil finished his
conversation with you and stepped outside to find Thorin who had offered him
some pipe weed.
You rolled your eyes, “There’s nothing to not like about him. Except his blond
hair”.
“Well, I love his hair..and his green eyes..his smile! And the way his muscles
ripple when he-”
“Alright, I get it!”, you cut her off leaving her giggling like a child.
You finished the last stitches on Thorin’s tunic you were mending and laid it
down on the table before you. Since it was a Sunday and everyone had the day
off from work, even you for some odd reason, Dis planned on taking a walk to
the market, but she had felt ill all of a sudden. Turil had come down for the
weekend to spend time with her which was fortunate because he was a healer as
well as a merchant.
He couldn’t ask her to move in with him because he didn’t have a permanent
residence yet and he couldn’t move in with her because he couldn’t afford to
settle down in one place till he had established himself. Yes, he was very
respectable and notable but he had a little bit more work to do before he could
relax and let his business go its course. A few more years he had promised her.
She sighed and ran a hand over her baby bump.
“Dis? What is it? Are you alright?”, you asked, walking over to the couch she
was laying on.
“Yes, I’m fine”, she smiled, “I’m just tired. I’m always tired. I can’t
remember what it feels like to not be tired”.
“I know”, you said placing a hand on hers, “get some sleep, we can go pick some
flowers for that vase later when you wake up”.
“I’d like that”, she smiled.
You stepped outside where Thorin was seated on the porch, deep in thought
smoking his pipe.
You hugged him from the back, burring your nose in his hair, “Where’s Turil?”.
“Went to get some more herbs for Dis”, he said turning his head to catch your
lips in a soft kiss.
“Come here”, he smiled pulling you on to his lap.
You curled up on his lap and watched him blow smoke into the evening air. You
could stay like this forever.
“I should probably go home one of these days”, you sighed winding a lock of his
hair around your finger.
He grunted his disagreement.
“People are going to talk”.
“Y/n, you’re sitting on my lap outside a house in the middle of the town. I
believe everyone in this place knows now if they didn’t all the countless times
I’ve kissed you and held your hand in public”, he said kissing you as another
passerby looked at you with a look of confusion.
“If Mahal lived among us, people are going to find ways to nitpick over how he
carried on”, he chuckled.
“Let them talk, my love. You are mine and I am never letting you go”, he
chuckled while rubbing your back.
You didn’t know why you worried. No one can forbid you from being with him
anymore.
Before you could respond, one of the barmaids from the tavern you worked in
hurried up to the porch, out of breath and sweaty.
“Y/n! I just ran to your house and”, she paused to gasp for air before
continuing, “you weren’t there”, followed by more gasps.
You raised an eyebrow and got up to your feet, “Here, sit”, you beckoned to the
steps.
“No time, you are needed at the tavern. Heloise was supposed to be working
today and she’s home sick. We’re up to our necks with customers. Do hurry”.
You sighed before throwing Thorin a look, “Guess, you’re taking Dis flower
picking”.
He gave you a slight nod and kissed you goodbye.
===============================================================================
It had been like any other busy night, a few fights had broken out but it was
contained by the male employees. You had refrained from bashing people’s heads
in when their wandering hands found their way to your body.
Thorin hadn’t stopped by to walk you home tonight, probably busy with Dis. You
didn’t mind. A walk alone with your thoughts was long overdue. You turned down
a row of houses when you heard footsteps behind you.
You thought nothing of it. Throwing a glance over your shoulder, you saw a
green and brown hooded figure and the dimly lit night didn’t help get better
look either. This still didn’t faze you, this town was always flooding with
strange folk going various places. You turned down another street and was a bit
worried when the man did too.
You had chosen a sparsely populated street because this was the fastest way
home, but you cursed yourself for doing so now. You tried to stay calm, you had
nothing to worry about; you were almost there and should the worst come to
worst, you were armed. But could you take on this person? He was quite large
and you weren’t properly trained with a dagger. Had Fallas sent this man to
capture you? Was this Fallas? Was he going to kill you?
Your mind raced, so did your heart as you quickened your pace and turned down
the last street to Thorin’s house. Your pursuer picked up speed too.
You looked back and ran down the road, if you screamed now the whole
neighborhood would be at your side. You were about to do just that when you
tripped and fell face first a few feet away from Thorin’s porch. Gasping you
clamored to your feet and sprinted up the steps and banged on the door.
“Thorin! DIS!”, you were almost in tears.
The door flew open and you fell into Thorin’s arms.
“What in Durin’s name is the matter, Y/n?”, he asked worried.
“He’s chasing me!”, you sobbed feeling your legs turn to jelly.
“Who?”, his voice deepened.
You sobbed hysterically. You hadn’t realized how much Fallas’ threats have
disturbed you till now. You truly feared for your life.
Dis and Turil appeared behind him. Turil took you from Thorin’s arms and Thorin
was out the door in a flash. He sat you down on a chair and Dis did her best to
calm you down.
She hugged you, held your hand and told you that you were safe. You hadn’t
realized that Turil had been dabbing at your bleeding forehead till you vaguely
felt the sting of one of his salves.
An hour went by. You had stopped shaking and now you were worried for Thorin’s
life. Why wasn’t he back yet?
“You worry for nothing. Thorin has taken on legions of orcs and goblins before.
One dwarf is nothing. He’s probably taking his time tormenting the poor idiot”,
Dis smirked.
The front door creaked open and you hurried out of the sitting room.
“There was no one I could find”, he said embracing you.
You nestled under his chin and closed your eyes. One of his hands rubbed the
nape of your neck.
“Are you alright?”, he asked pulling you back to inspect your face. His eyes
fell on the gash on your forehead and a flash on anger lit his eyes.
“I fell”, you mumbled, “It doesn’t hurt”.
He kissed the bruised skin just above the cut, “No one is going to hurt you
now, my love”.
“Are you going to tell me what it was that Fallas told you that night?”, he
asked gently.
You nodded as he led you to his room.
===============================================================================
He listened intently, with his anger growing till he burst out in anguish, “the
wretched mongrel! I’m going to wring his neck!”.
His thunderous voice sent shivers up your spine, you curled into a ball on his
bed.
“None of this would be happening if I were King!”, he growled, “That little rat
would bow before me before I slit his throat!”.
“You are King”, you whispered.
He relaxed a little and slunk down beside you and pulled you to his chest, “you
know what I mean”.
===============================================================================
The next few days Throin watched you like a hawk. Whenever he couldn’t watch
you, he had Gloin, Bofur or Dwalin drop by and check up on you. He wouldn’t
hear of you stepping outside the house without anyone after midday.
You sighed drawing the curtains back again. Bofur had waved to you from the
“gardening” he was doing on Thorin’s back yard.
Avila laughed at your reaction, “It’s only for a few days, Y/n”.
“It’s ridiculous, that’s what it is”.
You had told Thorin that this was a tad bit too extreme. You didn’t need to be
watched every single waking moment. You felt safe enough in here.
You watched baby Gimli gurgle and bounce around on his mother’s lap. Since she
was just about to leave with Dis and you were going to be home alone for awhile
and it wasn’t past midday, you thought of running an errand.
“I’m going to step out for a bit”, you said picking up your fur coat.
“Alright, be back soon. I’ll have Dis back before four”.
You closed the front door behind you ever so quietly lest Bofur hears. Taking
long strides down the path you smiled to yourself: a moment of freedom at last.
“Where yer headed off to, milady?”
“Gha!”, you spun around to face Bofur who was wearing a cheeky grin.
You groaned.
“To my house. I can’t let it fall into disrepair, I’ll check in on a few
things, pick up some clothes and be right back. Okay, see you in a bit”, you
turned on your heel and made for the street.
“Hold up there missy. I can’t let yer go that far”
You groaned again, “But Bofuuurr!! It’s still light out”.
“Hmm. Not for long. Looks like rain, don’t yer think?”.
“Durin’s tits! That’s what I think! Thorin told you to keep me here, didn’t
he?”.
“Such language from a lady?”, he chuckled.
“Why..why does everyone keep saying that? I don’t curse any more than Dis
does!”, you whined frustrated.
“I’m only teasing. If yer really want to go that badly, I suppose I can come
with”, he said shifting the wonky hat on his head.
You accepted knowing that this was the only way you’ll get to go home.
===============================================================================
Living in the middle of the town with Thorin put you in the immediate vicinity
of every public building you would ever need access to. You hadn’t realized you
lived so far away from everything till now, when you arrived at your door step
a little more than winded. How had you done this every morning?
Bofur insisted that he’s stay outside while you finished up inside.
Turning the key, you pushed the door open and stepped into your living room.
“Oh no”.
Everything was upturned, your chairs and tables lay on their sides. Your
knickknacks lay broken and scattered on the floor. Your couch was shredded and
its feather stuffing covering everything like snow.
You unsheathed your dagger and walked to the kitchen, stepping over the the
clutter. The pantry cupboards were pulled apart, broken plates and dishes
littered the wet floor. The back door was swinging open in the wind, the lock
was clean broken off. You held the door still to stop the unnerving sound it
was making. Bofur walked up to the door from the backyard and peeked in.
“Lass..what is all this?”, Bofur asked rather alarmed.
You laughed bitterly, “My secret admirer”.
“What?”, he stepped past you and excavated the place before moving upstairs.
You yanked the door shut and jabbed a knife in door to keep it shut.
Dropping your head into your hands you sighed. How are you going to fix this?
Where will you get the money to? And will you ever feel safe here again?
Bofur moved fast, he walked into the kitchen, “It appears there were at least
four and who ever they were, they’re not here now”. He saw your distressed face
and his eyes softened.
“Lass, you’ve nothing to worry about. You have Thorin, Dis, me and a whole lot
of other folk who care about you. Even Dwalin who took a mighty big liking to
you. You are not alone”, he moved closer and placed a hand on your shoulder,
willing you to be strong.
“You should sell this place and move closer to town. You ought to have done
that sooner. Take what you can now, I’ll see what I can save”.
You nodded and took a few steps before stopping, “Bofur? How do you sell a
house?”.
“Like you sell anything actually”, he shrugged, “the problem is how do you sell
this house? The only one who’s crazy enough to live this far out is you lass”,
he grinned.
You groaned for the umpteenth time that day.
“Don’t worry about it. Thorin will find a way to do it nonetheless”.
Hurrying up the stairs you found that a few of your dresses were ripped to
shreds and your mirror broken. You gathered the remaining three dresses, a pair
of pants and stuffed them into a satchel along with your hair comb.
You though the fat that your bed remained untouched while everything else was
destroyed was a bit odd. Looking closer you saw a piece of parchment on your
pillow with a red beryl gem courting bead on top of it.
I knocked, you weren’t here. I hate having to watch you from afar. This game of
ours will end soon. Here’s a gift from me, don’t say I never gave you anything.
The next time we meet, I want to see you wearing it.
-F
You shuddered at the thought of meeting him again it’s been a few months since
you last saw him and it still made you uncomfortable. You didn’t even touch the
bead, picking up your satchel you ran down the stairs and dragged Bofur out of
that house.
===============================================================================
Bofur had stayed with you till Thorin got home and he told him of your house
and made plans to see it. Both Thorin and Dis were properly horrified and
relived beyond hope that you hadn’t been there when it happened.
“Oh! I’m so glad you’re going to be living with us!”,Dis grinned, “You’re the
best kind of company”. You sat around the fireplace with Dis after supper while
Thorin smoked his pipe outside.
Dis cringed and gasped in the middle of a thought.
“Are you alright?”, you seemed to be asking that a lot around here.
“Fine. Just..cramps”. Dis was not the strongest when it came to childbearing.
Her pregnancy was complicated and she had needed a healer more times than was
normal during this early on. But she was coping well and stayed strong for her
baby.
Once she settled back down into her chair you smiled at her, “Do you think it’s
a boy?”.
“I think it’s a girl”, she smiled, “a calm, quiet little girl who won’t keep
her mummy up at night with her bawling”.
“Did you and Turil agree on names?”
She sighed, “No. I like Aliel and he wants to name her Moreth. He thinks Aliel
sounds too elvish”, she rolled her eyes, “What do you think?”
You shrugged, “It could be a boy”.
“Impossible. A mother’s intuition is always right”.
“You’re not a mother just yet”, you laughed.
Before she could retort Thorin burst in to the room looking pale and angry at
the same time. Before he spoke, his eyes flickered to Dis and seemed to think
better of upsetting her in her current condition.
“Y/n. Can I see you outside?”.
You followed him while your mind worked overtime to figure out what you’ve done
to cause him to react like this.
He shut the door behind him and flung something at you.
You gasped and barely caught it. It was a crumpled piece of paper, you knew
what it was before you opened it.
You were right, it was the parchment you found in your room. The courting bead
rolled off the paper and you didn’t bother catching it.
“This. Was here on the doorstep. What is this?”, his voice shook.
“Fallas trying to scare me. What else?”, you said crumpling it up and tossing
it to corner of the front yard.
You searched his face trying to understand him.
“A courting bead?”, he spat enraged.
Then it clicked.
“You can’t possibly think that there’s something going on between us?”, you
cried in disbelief.
He stared you down, “I don’t know. Is there?”.
“Thorin. You can’t mean it! He raped my sister, threatened me, destroyed my
house and is stalking me! Why in the world would I agree to court a psychopath
like him? And if that’s not enough, he’s married!”.
“I don’t want to wake up one day and find that after giving you my heart and
soul, you’ve been taken by another”.
“You won’t. Because I’m with you and I want to see this through to the end.
Because you’re my One”.
He instantly regretted everything he just accused you of.
“Amralime...”, he closed the cold space between you two and tried to hug you
but you stepped out of his reach.
“But if you doubt my loyalty, I don’t think I ought to stay here. Because what
of my feelings? Shouldn’t I be afraid of getting hurt too? I have more reason.
How could you even think that of me?”, your voice trembled.
“Forgive me. I was..afraid. That note took me by surprise and I didn’t know how
to react. Of course you wouldn’t betray me. I know you..”, he reached out
again, his hand trembling lest you turn him away again.
“You’re my precious gem. More pure than starlight”, he caressed your cheek
stepping closer, “And I am a stupid stupid dwarf who pales in comparison to
what you deserve”.
He rested his forehead on yours, “You deserve the world. All the treasures of
this earth”.
You offered him a half-smile, “There’s no need. I just need you to trust me”.
“I do. With my life”, he kissed you gently.
“I am honored to be your One. You are more than what I deserve”.
He kissed your smiling face over and over, “Am I forgiven, my One?”.
“I’ll think about it”, you grinned before opening the door and walking back
into the house.
Thorin followed shortly after kicking the courting bead that lay on the floor
to a dark corner of the yard.
***** Grand Gestures and Such *****
Chapter Notes
     This is a long one :O
A warmth on your neck stirred you awake. Hands wandered over your hips as you
mumbled incomprehensible words.
“It’s five in the afternoon love. You’ll miss work”, Thorin said kissing your
neck.
Your eyelids flew wide open, “Mahal, is it really?”, you turned your head and
one of kissed landed on your lips.
“Mhmm. I hadn’t the heart to wake you, till now”.
You groaned closing your eyes, “I’m still tired”. You laid there still and
began to drift back into sleep.
Not for long though, you were rudely awakened by a lick on your thigh. Pulling
the covers off, you saw Thorin between your legs. Your nightdress was bunched
around your waist and he spread your legs further apart and began licking at
your little bud. You gasped, grabbing a handful of his thick black hair.
“My love, what are you doing?”, you smiled.
He swirled his tongue around your clit, sucking leisurely. You squeezed your
eyes shut, raising your hips and sighed in pleasure. One hand gripped his hair
by the roots and the other clawed at the bed sheets, nails threatening to rip
right through.
The soft scraping of his beard against your thighs, the gently graze of his
thick fingers on your calves added to your euphoria and brought you closer to
release. Then all of a sudden he retreated.
You opened your eyes to see him smirking down at you.
“Why did you stop?”, you whimpered.
“You’re going to be late”, he chuckled.
“Thorin, how could you be so cruel!”, you moved his hand from your thigh to
your opening, urging him to finish what he started. He grinned at you and
kissed your belly while his fingers plundered your insides. Returning his
tongue to your clit, he gave it long, satisfying licks. He curled his fingers,
hitting that spot in you. The feeling in your legs left, your breathing was
labored you called his name frantically.
He groaned against your slick flesh, “Your taste..I can never get enough of
it”.
You bucked your hips, letting him have everything you had before screaming to
the Valar as he gave you your release.
Thorin kissed your belly one more time before sitting up and wiping his wet
beard.
“You soaked the bed, love”, he chuckled flopping down next to you. Still
reeling from the orgasm you hooked a leg around him and kissed his shoulder.
“I wish I had the time to repay you”, kissing him a few times you stood up.
“You can when you get back”, he playfully smacked your bum while adjusting his
pants as you walked towards the bathroom.
After a brisk wash, you sat in front of the mirror while Thorin looked on in
awe as you let down your hair which your had pulled into a knot to keep dry.
You began to undo your braids when you noticed a foreign braid just behind your
temple. It was done in a very familiar style and held in place by a metal bead
with a few tiny gems in a simple design along with the sigil of the house
Durin. You caught Thorin’s eyes in the mirror. He must have put it there while
you were asleep.
“Thorin..”
“Do you like it?”, his cheeks had a touch of crimson to them.
You walked to him and straddled his lap while embracing him, “Did you make it?”
He dipped his chin in a nod, “They’re not the best gems. I will make you a
better one..one deserving of you when I..have more money”.
You shook your head, “I love it. It’s perfect. Oh! I wish I could give you
one”, you thought about the hours of work he put into this, it meant more than
any trinket anyone had given you in your life.
“I don’t need one. I know I’m yours”.
===============================================================================
You waited tables, juggled trays of drink and cleaned up vomit, blood and spit;
the usual.
“Y/n? Are you quite well?”, one of your fellow barmaids stopped you and
inquired.
“Um. Yes..I think. It’s just a bit warm in here”.
“It’s not that bad. Why you’re sweating like sinner before the gates of heaven!
Goodness, maybe take a break?”, she took the two trays from your hands.
“No-I”, she was gone, “need the pay”, you said to no one.
You wiped your drenched brow and headed outside. The cool night air somehow
made no difference. You cursed your luck when your head spun, you probably had
the blasted flu.
===============================================================================
You ended up leaving before your shift ended. Thorin wasn’t here yet to walk
you home but you left anyway. Your senses were on alert, you took the safer
roads and arrived home safely.
Thorin asked a couple of worried questions when you stepped through the door to
which you answered promptly for you knew vagueness irritated him to no extent.
“Lie down. Rest”, he said walking out of the sitting room.
And you did just that. Shaking your boots off, you slunk into the couch to rest
your light head.
“I have some of your things”, Thorin said reentering the room. Walking over to
you, he handed you a stack of parchment.
You sifted through them while a big smile grew on your lips; they were the
paintings that had hung in your sitting room. Thought of saving anything had
left you when you had seen your defiled house, you had only wanted to leave.
“When we lose our interest in art, we lose out humanity”, he quoted you back to
you with smile.
“Indeed”, you laughed, “Thank you. But what were you doing in my house?”
“Couldn’t sell it in the state it was in before. Dwalin, Bofur and I cleaned it
out and replaced the locks”.
Oh.
“Thorin, I wouldn’t be able to repay you f-”
“You’ve nothing to repay”, he took the paintings from your hands and kissed
your forehead, “sleep”.
Before you could insist Dis burst into the room with Avila behind her, “We have
a surprise for Y/n!”, when her eyes fell on you she slapped a hand over her
mouth.
“Y/n! What are you doing back so early?”, she asked.
“I wasn’t feeling well”, you propping yourself up on your elbows, “What’s the
surprise?”, you asked raising an eyebrow.
Avila stepped forward and unfolded a dress. It was pale powder blue dress with
elegant lace that lined the sleeves, a basque waistline and the boat neckline.
Pearls dotted the sleeves that finished in a ruffle around the wrists. She also
held out a gold silk sash to tie around your waist.
You were speechless.
“Why?”, you managed to gasp.
“You haven’t forgotten, have you? It’s Durin’s Day this weekend and you aren’t
missing the celebrations this year!”, Dis grinned.
“It was Thorin’s idea to get you a new dress. He paid for the fabric and
pearls. Dis and I did the sewing”,Avila said handing you the dress.
You looked at Thorin who stood silently in the corner of the room, “You needed
another dress”, he shrugged.
“Do you like it?”, Dis asked clasping her hands together.
“Oh! Like it? I love it! Thank you, all of you”, you carefully held the soft
fabric in your hands.
“Thorin, you shouldn’t have”, you felt guilty deep down, he had spent so much
on you when he shouldn’t. He wasn’t exactly rolling in Erebor’s riches and
every copper he earned was through hard work and sweat and he had more
important things to send it on.
“I wanted to”, a slight smile ghosted his lips.
===============================================================================
You shuffled your feet nervously as you stopped outside the door. You smoothed
your hair back and folded your sleeves further up.
Okay, let’s just pray he doesn’t laugh at you.
You almost choked as the heat of the forge hit you when you stepped into the
doorway. You never got used to it. The loud rhythmic clang of metal on metal
echoed off the walls, accompanied by the sizzle of hot metal cooling off in
water.
You stepped in to the smithy and like always you couldn’t help but admire the
swords, shields and pieces of armor that decorated the tables, walls and
floors. Probably waiting to be picked up.
Two forges were burned bright in the dark room, providing the only light save
for the sunlight that streamed in from the front door. You saw Dwalin
mercilessly hammering a thin piece of metal. A sword perhaps? You edged your
way closer, unheard by him or the apprentice who was working at the other
forge.
You stood at a safe distance behind him with your hands clasped, watching him
batter a shape into the metal. You needed to be fast because you only had a
window of roughly three hours before Thorin showed up to work. But you were
unsure of how to begin the conversation or even disrupt his work.
Craning your neck, you leaned closer because his hand was blocking the view. He
raised his hammer when he saw movement behind him and did a double take before
exclaiming:
“Sard a goat! Lass, what are yer doing here?”, he said dropping his hammer on
the anvil.
You laughed, “Nearly scared the beard right off you, didn’t I?”.
“Scared? HA. If it suits your pretty fancies, darlin’”, he chuckled wiping his
sweaty forehead on the back of his sleeve.
“Thorin ain’t here, if that’s who yer lookin’ fer”.
“I-I know. I’m here to see you”.
He raised his thick eyebrows, “Me? Yer flatter me. Whatever for?”.
You wrung the ends of your tunic trying to ease your nerves, “I was hoping
you’d help me learn how to use a forge? Please, please don’t turn me away”.
“Lass, why on earth would you need to work a forge? And why not go to Thorin?”
“That’s the thing. I need to make a courtship bead and I want it to be a
surprise. He’s done so much for me, this is the least I can do”.
Dwalin looked like he was going to refuse you, after all he didn’t believe in a
woman taking on man’s work. Dwarrowdam usually bought courtship beads or had
the males of her family fashion one for her to give her significant other.
“Why don’t yer just buy one?”
You shook your head, “The ones I think he deserves are too expensive for me to
afford. I want this to be just as meaningful as the one he gave me. I got a few
gems, not much but enough to make it look..acceptable”.
“I suppose you wouldn’t agree to me making it for yer?”, he tried again.
You smiled in agreement.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, “If yer lose an arm or bash yer
skull in, I had no part in this infernal plot of yers”.
You grinned and surprised him with a hug around his waist.
He was taken aback, “Alright, enough with your feminine balderdash. Let’s get
to work”.
And work you did. Not much, however. You spent most of the time picking out a
metal that suited your needs. Once you found a piece, Dwalin taught you how to
hold it properly using prongs to heat it. But you overheated it a couple times
and made it way too brittle. You had just about given up in frustration when
Dwalin laughed and slapped your back a little too hard.
“You can’t become a master smith in two hours lass. Next time will be better.
Now off with yer before Thorin gets here”.
You thanked him and started walking home, you had plenty time before you were
needed at the tavern. Considering it was your first day you were proud of
yourself for not losing an arm, like Dwalin had said. You managed to get away
with a minor burn on your wrist and a bruised finger when you doped an ingot on
your hand.
The rest of the day ran smoothly and in no time you were in bed, with Thorins
arms around you.
He was dozing off and you were watching the candle throw dancing shadows on the
walls and listening to the crickets chirping outside. You’d though you had
heard a noise outside and your senses were put on alert, but there’s no need
for alarm; if there was any danger, Thorin would have sensed it, his hearing
was unheard of and it helped you sleep better at night.
He stirred and ran his hands over your stomach, then up your arms and down
again till he was holding your hands in his.
“What keeps you awake?”
“Did...did you hear something?”
“No”, he was more awake now as if he were listening more keenly.
“I’m sorry if I woke you then”, you nuzzled into his hair.
“You didn’t”, he said sleepily.
You lay silently, waiting for him to fall asleep. His steady breathing and the
small circles that he drew on the backs of your palms with his thumbs, were
soothing, but you weren’t sleepy.
“Why do you have bruises and a burn on your hands?”, he asked shattering the
silence.
You never thought he’s notice, they weren’t big bruises or anything.
“Work”
“Did someone hurt you?”, he asked raising his head off the pillow.
“No. I hurt myself..clumsy me. Slammed a door on my hand and burned myself on a
stove”.
“That’s new”, he said relaxing back into the pillow while soothing the hurt
skin with his fingers.
You eased out of his arms without him noticing. You smiled down at his sleeping
face. Thick lashed resting on his cheeks, hair splayed in a halo on his pillow,
his bare chest covered in thick curls of hair, rose and fell gently. His lips
were inviting as they parted slightly when he involuntarily clenched his jaw.
Gently, you moved a curled lock of hair off his forehead which caused him to
readjust his hand. His big, taut muscled rippled along with his movements and
you realized you forget that he was in fact a huge dwarf and could crush you in
an instant, what with his monstrous temper.
But you knew he from experience that he was capable of unfathomable gentility
and care for those he loved.
Something stirred in your core.
You kissed his chest, and when he didn’t stir you kissed your way down the
trail of hair, he hummed in his sleep. You stopped at the top of his pants, the
laces already undone, you slowly pulled the front flaps of his pants to the
sides while watching his face.
You felt like a minx for doing this while he slept; you wanted to see his
reaction. You placed a kiss on the tip of his already hardening length, then
proceeded to take it all in your mouth. You watched a smile grow on his lips
like the sun breaking out through the clouds on a rainy day.
He lazily looked down at you through his lashes, smiling brighter and coming
awake.
“This is a sight to be woken up to”, he ran his fingers through your hair,
softly pulling at the roots.
You took suckled on him and pulled back as he grew into his full length, you
let him drop out of your mouth with a pop.
He rewarded you with a throaty moan.
“Do you wish to sleep?”, you licked his length playfully.
“Not anymore. Not with the picture of you doing that branded in my memory”.
“What do you wish me to do?”, you smirked deviously.
“Never has Aule crafted a dwarrowdam who’s a bigger tease than you”, he groaned
beautifully while gripping the base of his hard length.
He gave it a few quick pumps, “suck me dry”.
You sat up, “keep touching yourself”, you whispered while you slipped out of
your night clothes at a painfully slow pace. You bit your lip watching his hand
work on his shaft, his eyes wandered your naked body, groaning as your hands
slid down your breasts and between your legs.
“Mahal, you’re going to kill me”, he growled, his hand picking up speed.
You leaned forward and laid a hand on his, making him stop. You move it away
and hover over his erection gently blowing on it.
“Woman, I swear you wouldn’t like what’ll happen if you don’t stop”.
You couldn’t help the smug giggle that left your lips. You took him in all the
way to the hilt in one sudden move that left him shouting obscenities and
gasping for air. You groaned at one particular Khuzdul slur that you found to
your liking, he bucked his hips in response.
Swirling your tongue around his sensitive head you, began bobbing your head,
taking much of him in as you can. Your tongue caressed the underside of his
length and was pleased to taste precum there. He shuddered in pleasure as you
brought him closer and closer to his much desired release.
His fists tightened on your hair, he groaned your name..he was so close..
You let him drop from your mouth and a frustrated growl erupted from Thorin’s
lips as his head snapped up from the pillow to see what hindered you from
giving him his release.
“Soon, love”, you purred while straddling his hips.
You positioned yourself over his throbbing length and slowly impaled yourself
on it, throwing your head back in hedonism you gasped his name while your slick
walls convulsed around him.
“Y/n, you feel so good..yes, that’s it ride me. Take what you need from
me...you little wench”, he slapped your bum as you rode him like your life
depended on it. You kissed him with fire burning in your heart, you ran your
tongue along his, bit an sucked on his lips.
His fingers dug into the flesh of your hips, helping you ride him. The
fluttering in your veins and tummy was getting intense till it seamlessly
transitioned into a tightening sensation, if felt like the moment right before
you fall in dreams.
He began thrusting fervently to meet your hips, slick wet sounds echoes in the
room along with curses and the pants of both your names. You exploded around
him when his fingers found your bouncing breasts and pinched your nipples a few
times.
You screamed his name as your body went limp and your mind fogged with clouds
and pulses of pleasure.
He was chasing his own release he desperately flipped you over and turned you
on your front and buried himself in your warmth. You gasped as his thrust
brought you back to earth. Arching you back you let him take you.
“Come for me my king”, you whispered, still out of breath.
He bit down on your shoulder, beads of sweat dripped down from his brow on to
your skin, his arms quivered as he struggled to hold himself up.
A string of curses tumbled from his lips, one shout of your name and he spent
himself in you.
He let out a loud sigh as he rolled off you and stared at the ceiling, panting
and dazed. Thorin slid an arm under you and pulled you closer as you yelped in
surprise.
“I hope that’s enough to put you to sleep, amralime”, he smirked.
“Oh, it is”, you said kissing his beard, “but maybe one more time?”.
He raised an eyebrow, “you insatiable minx. Maybe after I catch my breath?”
===============================================================================
Durin’s day was just two days away and the whole town was abuzz with
preparation and the mere anticipation for the Dwarven new year. Carts of
flowers were scattered around the main square, where people put time and effort
onto beautifying the place, tents were pitched and kegs of ale, rum and mead
were brought in abundance. The women had been preparing food for the event
since three moons ago, so you suspected that this was apt to be a grand
function indeed.
The last few new years, you’ve spent at home, too tired to celebrate or the
fact that knowing Thorin wasn’t going to be present robbed you of any
enthusiasm for it.
But this year was going to be different.
You stuffed the crust of bread in your mouth and followed it with a piece of
lemon tart. While Thorin still slept, you could go to the forge and work on the
bead, so you hurriedly ate your breakfast.
“Good morning, Y/n. In a hurry are we?”, Dis chirped as she walked into the
kitchen.
“Mornin’”, you mumbled through a full mouth.
“Wh- Y/n? Is that lemon tart?”.
“What of it?”, you snapped a little too aggressively. You really just wanted to
get out of here.
Dis raised an eyebrow, “You hate anything lemon. Especially tarts”.
You shrugged, “So? I can change my mind”.
She narrowed her eyes, “You’re pregnant, Y/n”.
You nearly choked, “Yeah and elves have two tails”, with a roll of your eyes
you wiped your fingers on your pants.
“The might. But you’ve been overly tired, snapping at people, sick and
sweaty...oh and when did you last bleed?”.
Your throat went dry. Was it possible? You counted the days.
“It’s..it’s just a little late”, you reasoned.
“Have you been ill in the mornings?”.
You nodded reluctantly.
“There you have it. Oh, don’t look so flabbergasted Y/n! What did you expect?
You two roll in the hay more times than one could shamelessly admit.”
You raised your eyebrows in horror.
Dis rolled her eyes, “It’s a small house. These walls aren’t exactly the
thickest”.
You shuddered in embarrassment.
“Are you certain?”, you asked burring your face in your hands.
“I’m fairly certain”, you peeked from between your fingers to see her gesturing
to her large swell of a tummy.
“You should rejoice, Y/n! A baby heir for Thorin and a little niece or nephew
for me!”
Tucking a lock of hair behind your ear you smiled, “I-I amhappy. This is just
not how I imagined how any of this would go”.
“I know. But you can only make the best of it”, she said giving you a
sympathetic look.
“Would..our child be..a bastard? We can’t be a proper union..”, you whispered
running a hand over your tummy.
“I should think not!”, Dis cried sternly, horrified that you would even think
such a thing, “Thorin would wed you right now, traditions be damned. And all
the rightful titles would go to your child, a descendant of Durin and the
prince or princess of Erebor. Don’t speak such nonsense Y/n, my brother, nor I,
would abandon you or your child”.
You managed a weak smile, “Thank you”.
She gave you a small nod, “Now, I believe you were in the midst of hurrying
off”.
You gathered your thoughts and hopped to your feet and you were off to the
forges.
===============================================================================
You were setting the small sapphires and crystals in the bead you had
painstakingly made. Swiftly, but surely your delicate hands managed to find
drop the gems in the right indents while your mind was a thousand miles away.
You were going to be a mother. Your nerves were shot.
As much as you would love a baby, especially Thorin’s baby, you hadn’t a clue
about raising one. And neither you or Thorin had the time to look after one, or
the money to spend on its necessities. It was terrifying to think about; what
if you are a bad mother?
“Lass, are yer alright?”, Dwalin asked looking over his shoulder at the the
bench you were sitting at.
“Hmm? Oh..yes. I’m quite alright”.
He nodded and went right back to hammering.
You watched him beat the living daylights out of the piece of metal he was
crafting into a shield.
It was an unusually warm day and it was hotter than usual in the smithy and
when you had stepped in you had been greeted by Dwalin’s shirtless chest.
“You have a lot of tattoos”, you had commented. He was covered in them, his
chest, abdomen, arms and even halfway up his neck. You’ve seen the ones on his
hands but you would have never guessed this.
“You’ve got keen eyes”, he had said sarcastically.
“Lass?”, you looked up from your bead, “would you like to learn how to beat a
shield into shape?”.
Your eyes lit up, “yes!”.
Walking over to the anvil, he let you take the prongs and the hammer from him.
“Alright, now let your back do the work when you swing lassie, do not put
weight on your wrist”.
He watched you swing and make a poor clang on the metal, The hammer weighed an
oliphant and a half.
“That’s alright, try again”.
You swung again and before you could strike, Dwalin stepped behind you and
adjusted you arm.
“There. Now force it down using your muscles here”, he prodded your back.
He held the hammer over your hand and brought it down with a vengeance.
Wait. You were pregnant. Should you be doing this sort of labor? Was it good
for the baby?
You relaxed your hand and Dwalin stepped back a little, his hand still on
yours, “Are yer sure you’re fine? Yer seem a little distant today lass”.
You sighed and looked him in the eye, “I’m pregnant Dwalin”. It felt good to
tell someone.
You could have slaughtered a cat and feasted on its insides and Dwalin would
have reacted less. He stared at you with wide eyes and his mouth opened.
“I-I...am sure it’s not mine”, he managed.
“Y/n, what are you doing here?”.
Both, Dwalin and you looked at the doorway where Thorin stood with an unhappy
expression on his face.
“What do you think you’re doing?”, he demanded again.
“Mahal be damned if I knew”, Dwalin muttered letting go of your hand.
Then you realized what this might have looked like; Dwalin all flushed and
shirtless, standing really close to you while holding your hand.
“Oh, no, Thorin. It’s not what it looks like. Dwalin was teaching me how to
make a shield”.
“And why in Durin’s name would you need to know that?”, he asked trying to
sound calm.
“Sod off Thorin, I ain’t after yer woman. She needed help making yer a damned
courtin’ bead. For Mahal’s sake!”, he growled picking his hammer and getting
back to work.
You picked up the finished bead off the workbench and walked up to Thorin.
“We have a lot to talk about”, you sighed.
“It appears we do. Dis said you had news”.
***** Constellations *****
Chapter Notes
     The_Dwarrow_Scholar deducted that the gestation period for dwarrowdam
     is most likely four years, but I took the liberty of shortening it
     down to two, cause reasons.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Thorin walked next to you, his lips set tight and eyes focused on the street
before him.
You fiddled with a lock of your hair trying to swallow the knot in your throat.
Oh dear, how are you going to begin this conversation?
Clearing your parched throat, “Did Dis tell you what it was about?”.
“No”, his voice was flat. He couldn’t be still irked about the whole ordeal
with Dwalin, surely? It was a misunderstanding and Dwalin said so himself.
He came to a halt in the middle of a bustling square, where people were
carrying on with their duties. You leaned against a nearby statue of a swan and
waited for him to begin.
He finally met your eyes after a pause that seemed to last forever.
“Why didn’t you come to me? I could have taught you how to work a forge”, he
grumbled.
You tried to suppress your smile.
“Or do you think Dawlin is more capable than I am?”.
“No! Of course not. I wanted to surprise you because you’ve been surprising me
with all these gifts...I just wanted to do something nice for you”.
Stepping closer to him, you took his hands in yours. He eventually let his
stiffness recede and pulled you into his arms and kissed your nose and then
your lips.
“You shouldn’t have”, he ran his hands down your arms and rubbed your bruised
fingers. He reached up behind him and undid the loose knot he had his hair up
in, letting his black locks tumble around his shoulders.
“Please”, he guided your hand to his glossy hair.
You hesitated, “Right now? Out here?”, you glanced at the people around you.
“Right now. Right here”, he breathed into your hair.
Pulling back you got to work. Your fingers worked quickly and gracefully to
pull a lock of his hair into a braid that matched yours. Reaching into your
pocket, you pulled out the bead and fastened it at the end of the braid.
You ignored the looks people gave you as if you were performing some sort of
obscene sexual act for all to see.
“There”. you smiled at him.
He held the bead between his fingers and marveled at it, “It’s beautiful. I
have never seen such exquisite craftsmanship in all my life”.
You smacked his shoulder, “Don’t tease! I know it looks like something a warg
chewed up”.
“Not to me. It’s perfect. I wouldn’t have any other bead. Not even if it were
crafted by Aule”, he smiled kissing his was up your neck and to your lips.
You blushed furiously, hiding your face in his chest.
Hooking a finger under your chin, he tilted your head back and placed on last
tender kiss on your lips before asking:
“Now, what is it that you wanted to speak with me about?”
The tightness in your chest returned so fast that it knocked the air out of
your lungs.
“W-well..”, you began weakly. You paused and took in a deep breath.
“Y/n?”, he searched your face with knitted eyebrows, “what is it?”.
“I..*nervous laugh*..what is your opinion on babies?”.
He looked so confused, “Uh. They’re alright I suppo-”, his eyebrows shot up as
realization dawned on him.
“You can’t mean?”, he gripped your shoulders firmly. You could only smile at
him, still unsure of his reaction.
“You can’t mean to say that you are bearing my child..”, he examined your face
to make sure you were in earnest.
“I am. Are you pleased, my King?”.
“Pleased?”, he choked out a laugh and squeezed his eyes shut. Worry picked at
the edges of your mind.
He opened his eyes to reveal clear, sparkling blue eyes that radiated
happiness. You breathed a sigh of relief.
“I am beyond pleased. I am the happiest being on this planet”, his deep laugh
warms your body.
“Y/n..”, his hands lightly trembles as they slid down your body and rested on
your belly, “thank you..this is the most precious gift anyone has ever given
me”.
“We made the little darling”, you giggled wrapping your arms around his neck.
===============================================================================
“I made it in a shade of lavender so its gender neutral”, Avila gushed handing
you a crocheted baby gown. Your lap was already overflowing with coifs,
swaddles and small baby shirts, courtesy of Avila, Dis and your workmates.
Even though you were slightly overwhelmed, you were grateful nonetheless.
You had attempted to make dresses and such yourself, but you rarely had the
time to make much. And besides, you had plenty time.
“Thank you, Avi”, you said admiring the delicate patterns.
“You know, maybe it’s time you took time off from work? It’s not like you’re
carrying just any baby...you have to be careful”, Avila said redoing a braid in
her brown hair.
You groaned, “I am being careful. Thorin makes sure I am careful and I can’t
take two years off work! Why..I’ll be nothing but a helpless mooch to Thorin”.
“Poppycock! You and I both know that’s not true. Women shouldn’t be working
when they have husbands, that’s what Gloin says”.
“He’s not my husband”, you stated plainly.
“Well he ought to be. No point in dallying about now...surely he knows this”,
she said shaking her head.
“I have spoken to him about it”, Dis piped up looking away from her book, “he
has plans”, she smiled, “You wouldn’t have to wait long, y/n”.
You knew that deep down. And if he asked of course you wouldn’t refuse; this
was what you had always wanted..what you’ve been dreaming about for a long
time.
“I won’t pretend like I don’t know what people are saying about us”, you said
quietly.
Unknowing to you, Dis threw Avila a sympathetic look. They say that since the
prince you were to be wed to was dead, you moved on to the next prince, who is
now conveniently, the King. They say that you had planned this from the start,
used some sort of witchery to seduce the princes. That you were a harlot. You
only wished you had the power to bring upon such destruction that befell your
people. Why, you would be the most powerful being in all of Arda. But alas, you
had no such talents.
These words were reserved for the vile tongued that lived among the good-
natured people of your town. Most believed that the King truly did love you and
you him. And those who knew you personally knew you weren’t the type to hatch
sordid schemes.
“Pay no mind to them. They love to bash people around, old wives with nothing
better to do”, Dis said, being the only other person in your friend group who
knew how you felt. They didn’t take it well when they learned that the princess
was pregnant at such a young age and as hard as everyone tried to keep the fact
that she married after conceiving, it got out.
Avila nodded sagely, “The day we can stop the waggling of their tongues, is the
day I become a hermit. It’s just not going to happen”.
Turil walked in through the front door and Dis tried to clamber to her feet.
“Don’t”, he commanded walking over to her and pulling her into an embrace.
Before you could spout a greeting, two other dwarves entered through the open
door carrying something bulky between the two of them.
“Where does this go, my lord?”.
“Y/n? In yours and Thorin’s room I suppose?”, he smiled.
Dis replied for you, “Yes, it’s to the left down the hall”.
“Oh!”, you gasped in awe when you got a better look at the object. It was a
large cradle with a hood and rockers.
“Turil, this must have cost you a fortune!”.
“It was the least I could do for the future prince”.
Turil threw a small money bag at one of the dwarves which he caught it with
ease, “Afternoon, to ye folks”, he said closing the door behind them.
You walked into the room followed by Avila.
“This cost him a pretty penny alright”, Avila marveled.
You just gawked at it. Even your late sister’s cradle hadn’t been this grand.
It was made of red oak, smothered with carvings and runes. Beautiful lace hung
from the sides in layers upon layers that reached the ground.The hood was
fringed with crocheted lace and a satin curtain. It was complete with a large
frilly pillow and soft silky bedding.
You ran your hand over the intricate patterns on the wood and thought about the
little life that was growing inside you right now. That little life would be
sleeping in this cradle in two years, that thought spread warmth through your
chest.
Neither you nor Thorin had to spend money on the baby yet, cause you had
wonderful friends who tented to those needs. But that didn’t keep Thorin from
spending his spare time crafting toys and trinkets for the baby, some
ridiculous toy would catch his eye at the market and he’d slap his money down
for it in a heartbeat.
A smile made its way across your face, he was going to be a good father, a
caring one who spoils his children to no end.
“I thought we’d have a sleepover of sorts tonight!”, Avila burst out with a
laugh to break the silence.
You raised a questioning eyebrow.
“You, Dis and I. At my place since Gloin won’t be back till dawn and Turil is
going to join Thorin at the tavern tonight. We can dress and head out for the
Durin’s Day celebrations in the morning together”.
You grinned, “That sound like fun”.
And it was fun. You prepped each other’s hair for tomorrow using sweet smelling
hair oils and tongs to curl and set your locks in rolls around your heads. You
scrub ferociously at your skin to look as clean and groomed as you possibly
could. Later Avila shared with you her creams and treatments she had concocted.
“It smells of orc”, Dis said wrinkling her nose.
“Gloin says the same thing”, Avila said tutting, “it works miracles”.
“If you say so”, Dis said lathering the questionably pink goop over her cheeks
and nose.
You were sitting patiently watching her while your own mask finished drying,
“gorgeous”, you laughed.
Dis stuck her tongue out at you and continued layering on the goo, “stings a
little”.
“That’s now you know it’s working”, Avila explained.
A distant explosion left Dis yelping.
Avila looked out of the window, “Fireworks”.
“I suppose some nitwit set one off by accident”, you mused.
“Frerin loved fireworks”, Dis said smiling before looking up at you mortified
when she realized what she had said.
You brought yourself to smile, “It’s fine. He was your brother, you mustn’t be
afraid to speak of him”. This was the first time you’ve heard her mention
Frerin since his death. Neither you nor Thorin discussed him between the two of
you. Not because you wanted to forget him - there’s no way either of you will
forget him, but because you didn’t know how to address the topic.
“I didn’t want to bring up memories”, her feeble apology was not necessary.
“I remember him fondly. Memories of him don’t hurt..not anymore at least”, you
smiled.
Dis dipped her chin in agreement.
“Was that Gimli?”, you asked pricking up your ears. You could have sworn you
heard a thump.
Avila listened too.
“I don’t think so. I don’t hear anything”, she said after a few seconds.
“I’ll go see, just in case”, you offered getting up from the bed.
You walked down the small dimly lit hall into the sitting room where the last
embers burned in the fireplace. Seeing nothing you turned right and opened the
first door in the hall and entered Gimli’s room.
The little toddler was fast asleep in his cradle. His breathing was steady and
he seemed to fine. The half opened window was letting in a draft.
The blanket lay at his feet, you pulled it over his tiny body and walked up to
the window to close it. A powerful gust of wind blew the sheer drapes in your
face. You gasped pulling at them in haste because you thought you saw a figure
standing outside the window.
Freeing your face from the blasted drapes, you look out the window and see
nothing. You pull the window shut and slide the bolt home. You were startled
and you had a weird feeling..your skin crawled and the fine hairs on the back
of your neck stood up. Pulling the drapes across the window, you looked around
the room. Yanking the closet doors open, you made sure no one was in there.
Were you being paranoid? Maybe. Did you have good reason to be? Most
definitely.
You crawled around on your knees, checking under the cradle, the tables and
behind chests.
“Y/n? What on earth are you doing?”, Avila’s sharp whisper had you snapping
your head in the direction of the door.
“Do you think someone is in here?”, you asked in a serious whisper.
“Yes, Gimli. Now come on! We have more things to do”.
You sighed and followed her shutting the door.
“I thought I heard something. And I thought I saw something outside”.
“You have to relax, Y/n. I would know if someone broke into my house. I’d hack
them to pieces with Gloin’s axe”.
“You shouldn’t leave Gimli’s window open”, you grumbled.
“I never open it”, she said shaking your comment off.
===============================================================================
It was a beautiful day to celebrate. It was midday and the sky was blue with
the occasional white fluffy cloud, the wind was gentle in the golden trees and
the October chill was surprisingly bearable today. You made your way down to
the town square with Dis and Avila, dressed in your fineries and hair adorned
with the most sophisticated braids.
Flowers saved from the summer season decorated the lamp posts, statues and the
nearby store fronts. Kegs of alcohol were stationed at regular intervals around
the square along with food stalls and tables. A stage was set up where a band
performed songs and played lively tunes on their lutes, lyres, viols and drums.
The air smelled delicious; spiced apples, smoked ham, fruit pie and the
distinct smell of warm buttered rum, all mingled together.
The merrymaking had already begun. Dwarves were partaking in games, there were
pony rides for the children and drinking games for the adults among many more.
Group dances sprung out of nowhere and laughter along with loud chatter was
everywhere.
Avila returned to the two of you with two tankards of rum. You hadn’t even
noticed her leave.
“Neither of us can drink that Avi. Who are you going to give that to?”, Dis
asked with a cock of her eyebrow.
Avila laughed, “Who said I was going to give these to anyone? I was pregnant
for two years and this is the first time I’ve been out since. I am drinking all
the rum here”, she took a huge chug, “you ladies can watch”.
You groaned while Dis tutted. Your fingers twitched to take a tankard off a
table and indulge. But never mind, there were plenty ways to have fun.
“Milady!”, you spun around to face Bofur who was holding two large trays of
food in both arms. You bowed your head with a laugh, “A little way in over your
head, huh Bofur?”.
“’Tis not a problem. But would you like some honeycakes?”, he held out one of
the trays.
“Yes!”, you grabbed three and proceeded to stuff your face.
“And you princess?”, he offered, but Dis reached for the raspberry biscuits.
“Turil and Thorin are over on that side, if you were wondering”, he said
jerking his head in the direction of the majority of the kegs.
“I’m going to get more food before I head over”, Dis said finishing her
biscuit, “Avi, want to join me?”.
“I will in a moment. Just have to fill these up”, she shook her empty tankards.
You weaved your way through the crowd of people in the middle of the square who
were dancing and spinning each other around. You scanned the area Bofur had
mentioned and you zeroed in on a small gathering of dwarves. You stood on your
tiptoes to catch a glimpse of what was going on. A cheery whoop erupted from
the crowd along with words of encouragement.
You could have sworn you heard Thorin’s laugh. Pushing your way to the front
you saw Thorin seated at a table with another dwarf playing a heated game of
gwent, that blasted card game you loathed.
Thorin laughed, obviously quite tipsy, as he slammed his hand of cards down on
the table and took an alarmingly big swig of his drink. The other dwarf groaned
loudly as Thorin collected his dues.
“Forget this”, the other dwarf said throwing the cards away, “I bet I can take
you on in other ways”, he laughed placing his elbow on the table and offering
Thorin his hand.
Thorin held up his hands in a “come at me” gesture before taking his hand.
You snorted, this dwarf has no idea who he was up against.
The cheers grew louder, you narrowly escaped dripping ale and other splashes of
drinks that were flying everywhere.
Thorin threw most of his strength at this dwarf and he held up surprisingly
well. He pushed against the stranger’s hand, tendons shook and his sinewy
muscles rippled and flexed under his thin tunic. You involuntarily licked your
lips at his display of strength.
The edges of his mouth twitched and his forehead wrinkled in determination
while his opponent grunted and clawed at the table with his free hand.
With one final exertion, Thorin slammed the dwarf’s hand down on to the table,
throwing him off his stool.
Thorin burst out laughing as he stood slapping him on his back and pulling him
to his feet. The crowd of people shouted Thorin’s name amidst their thunderous
cheering.
“No hard feelings. Get the lad a drink!”, Thorin chuckled.
Then he spotted you standing there with a proud smirk on your face.
“There she is”, he grinned drunkenly.
He walked over to you and snaked his arms around your waist, pulling you
closer. A few whoops echoes among the people before they began to scatter.
“My girl”, his breath smelled strongly of mead.
His lips hovered over your smiling ones while one hand trailed over your tummy.
You stood on your toes to close the space between your lips. He chuckled into
the kiss, deepening it, drinking you in as if you were a drink of sweet mead
yourself.
You begrudgingly pushed against his chest and pulled back, “behave”, you
whispered against his beard.
“It proves a challenge when you’re so beautiful. A diamond among rocks..”, he
placed kisses along your jaw and neck.
“You’re drunk, my King”, you murmured trying to hold him back. You wanted him
to ravish you then and there, but you had your modesty and his dignity to
uphold.
“Not drunk enough”, he joked, “care for a dance, my lady?”, he held out his
hand and you took it eagerly.
===============================================================================
“What are you thinking of?”, you asked lazily.
The sky had turned a deep blue-black shade and stars twinkled down at the
exhausted party goers. The sun had set a little less than an hour ago and a
full moon rose above the Blue Mountains. The merry, upbeat music had slowly
transitioned into soft, soothing flute and lute music that was oddly nostalgic.
Braziers crackled and glowed around the square, couples strolled through the
streets and grassy knolls while fireflies glinted in the grass. Some slow
danced and many lay on the grass, regretting drinking too much. A few ponies
drew carts filled with hay and squealing children getting ready for the last of
the fireworks.
You had secured a patch of hay for you to rest your aching feet. Now you lay
cuddled against Thorin’s chest, he had one of his arms around you and one
tucked under his head.
“Many things”, he said dreamily.
“You are going to have a hangover the size of Arnor in the morning”, you said
kissing his cheek. He chuckled. He knew you were right, he had spent the whole
day maintaining a steady flow of mead and rum to his belly.
“I am thinking of my little warrior and how I came to be so lucky”, he said
rubbing your belly.
“You think it’s a boy?”, you asked curiously.
“Maybe. I will love him or her either way”, he sounded very happy indeed.
“You are going to be an amazing father”, you mused as both of you fell into
silence while admiring the stars and listening to the calming music.
“Soronume glows bright tonight”, he commented rubbing your arm.
“What’s that?”.
“The Eagle of the West”, he traced the constellation in the air, “It was put
there by Varda along with wilwarin, the butterfly and Menelmacar, the swordsman
in the sky”.
“Hm. Can you also read the future from the stars like some claim to?”.
He grinned, “I’m not a sorcerer”.
The hiss of fireworks made you look away from him. They exploded in the night
sky in red, green and white sparks. You sat up with your eyes on the sky.
Thorin didn’t move. He didn’t care for fireworks, he only had eyes for you. He
watched your lips part in wonder and your skin glow with the light of the
fireworks. Your chest softly rise and fall in that blue dress.
“I don’t need the stars to tell me that you are my future”, he smiled in awe.
“Hm?”, you asked lost in the beauty of the exploding lights, the different
patterns and colors completely captivating you.
You clutched Thorin’s hand when one firework burst into a spiraling wheel. You
looked back at him in disbelief and did a double take when you realized he was
staring at you.
He was sitting up, “This moment is as perfect as it’s going to get, I suppose”.
You offered him a questioning look when he squeezed the hand you had on his.
Retrieving it, you gawked at him.
“I-”, he began to ask the question.
“Yes!”, you gasped.
He grinned from ear to ear as he slipped the mithril band onto your ring
finger. You marveled at the white gems and diamonds that beautifully suffocated
the band. It looked like Thorin picked a star out of the night sky and placed
it upon your finger.
“It was my mother’s. The only thing I have of her..”.
The fireworks slowly died down but you were still lost for words.
“Thorin..are you certain you want me to have this?”.
“I can’t think of anyone more deserving”.
You crawled closer to him and caught his lips in a warm, loving kiss. His hands
gripped your shoulders and laid back down in the hay, pulling you with him.
Kissing his nose, you smirked wickedly at him.
“Maybe we should head home?”, you proposed rolling your hips against the slight
tent in his pants.
===============================================================================
Pulling the laces of your corset loose you walked into Thorin’s room. He had
promised he’d only be a moment while he checked on Dis to see if she got home
safe.
Your eyes immediately fell on the wall opposite the door. Walking up to it you
cracked a smile; Thorin must have used your absence last night to put up your
paintings.
The door shut behind and you spun around on your heels with a grateful smile.
===============================================================================
“Y/n, did you knock something over?”, Thorin asked, stepping in through the
door.
“Y/n?”, he looked around the empty room.
His worried eyes fell on the shattered vase on the floor that used to sit on
the dresser. The little chair was turned over on its side and the window
flapped in the gentle wind.
“Y/n!”, he looked in the bathroom then proceeded to search the room. He ripped
the crumpled covers off the bed, he was panicking.
He took a step away from the bed and stepped on something hard. He bent and
picked up a hair bead. You had been wearing these today. A whole handful of
these beads were scattered near the window.
He had no doubt now. You were gone.
Chapter End Notes
     I dunno should I end this here? Sounds like a good back story to why
     Thorin is pretty grumpy and pissy..
     Your thoughts?
***** The Dead of Winter (Part 1) *****
Chapter Notes
     Non-con stuff, so be warned. The story takes one hell of a dark turn
     in this and the next chapter. People who aren't into that stuff...I'm
     sorry!!! :(
Thorin knew where he must go. He knew the second he realized you were taken.
Anger bubbled up from the pit of his stomach whenever he imagined Fallas’ hands
on his wife, which was all he could think about.
In the middle of the night, he gathered some of his best men; Dwalin, Gloin,
Balin, Bofur and Bifur. He had to sate Avila with a brief account of what
happened in order to get Gloin of out the house. She had been devastated.
His men didn’t question his decisions, they would follow him to the end. So
when he said that he was going to rescue his wife from a very powerful Lord,
they just nodded.
A day’s ride later he arrived at Belegost. This was not going to be easy, but
he wasn’t going to let that stop him. He would burn the whole city to the
ground if he must to get to you. He couldn’t raise an army for this, but he
sure would put everything he had into trying.
===============================================================================
After being in the back of a cart for two days, tied and blindfolded you were
shoved into a room where you tripped and hit the cold stone floor.
You were exhausted from kicking and resisting everyone who touched you and
pushed you about. So instead of panicking or getting up, you laid there
motionless while you tried to gather your wits. Your body ached and you were
tired.
Rolling onto your back, you brought your bound hands to the blindfold and
tugged it over your head. Previously, when you’d attempt to do so someone would
yank your hands back and give you a sharp knock on the side of your head.
You sat up weakly and looked around the empty room.
It was a small room with a stone walls, one window with iron bars across it, a
reasonably sized bed and a wooden bathtub. The walls and floors were bare and
it looked like a slightly better prison cell. But you’ve dealt with worse.
Even though you didn’t recognize the man who had grabbed you, you didn’t need
to bother yourself because you knew who brought you here and why. You just
needed to figure out a way to get out of here.
The large iron fringed door slid open after a knock. A mousy looking dwarrowdam
walked in carrying a tray of food and a dress draped over one arm. The door
shut behind her and you heard the sound of a heavy bolt sliding home.
“Lord Fallas requests that you wash and eat before you meet with him”, she said
setting the tray and dress down on the bed with a nervous smile. She walked
over to you and untied your hands after wrestling with the knot for a while.
“I hope you find everything to your liking, milady”.
You threw her a look of disdain and she ducked her head in apology before
knocking on the door to open it and disappearing.
You rubbed your bruised wrists, noticing that the skirt of your dress had been
ripped in some places.
On the first day, they had shoved a crust of bread in your mouth and given you
a drop of water. But the whole of next day you had been deprived of water and
food, you were ravenous. Clambering onto your feet, you staggered over to the
bed and scarfed down the little cakes and the slice of bread with a wedge of
cheese. You didn’t pause to savor the taste, you stuffed your face to relieve
yourself of the painful gnawing in the pit of your stomach. So he wasn’t going
to starve you.
Chugging the tumbler of water you dipped it in the bucket next to the tub and
drank more. You sat down a little out of breath from all that fast chewing. A
hand rested on your belly, you prayed your little gem was alright. You were
lightheaded for many reasons, you laid down on the bed and took deep breaths
trying to make the room stop spinning.
A good long while passed by.
You did your best to not give into panic, it wouldn’t help you and definitely
won’t help your baby. Thankfully, your head had settled and you were breathing
normally. Thorin won’t leave you here. You wouldn’t let him keep you here.
There was another knock on the door, a louder one.
You sat up to find a daunting dwarf dressed in armor standing at the door.
“Come with me”, he said in a gruff voice.
You didn’t hesitate to respond, “No”.
“Listen lass, ya either walk on yer own two feet or I drag ya there by yer
hair”.
“I don’t want to go anywhere. Leave me be”, you said more firmly. What could
you possibly gain from speaking with Fallas?
The dwarf patiently walked over to you, his heavy boots thudding on the floor.
You shrank back as he got closer. He roughly grabbed your wrist and yanked you
towards the door with more force than necessary.
You tried to shake him off you, but he was three times bigger than you; Fallas
had given this some thought. You were lead down a hallway, a couple more
dwarves stood around wearing the same armor as the dwarf who was pulling you
along. Fallas’ guards.
The hallway was definitely leading you underground. It divided into two halls
after a while, the dwarf lead you down the left hallway.
“You mind loosening your grip?”, you asked wincing from the pain.
He only tightened it instead in response.
Two other guards stood outside a massive door and they pulled it open when they
saw you approaching.
The asshole dwarf gave you one final push through the doors and he let the
doors shut behind the two of you. The room you stood in was a masonry
masterpiece. Thick, embossed stone pillars were scattered around the vast room,
woodwork with gold incorporated into it adorned the walls and furniture.
“My Lord”, the dwarf guard made your presence known.
You craned your neck to see who he was speaking to. In the corner of the room
was a raised dais with a large, decorated low lying bed. Expensive blankets
were tossed off and Fallas sat up, smoothing his tousled blond hair he smiled
at you.
“Leave us”.
You were mildly surprised to see two naked dwarrowdam quickly grab their
discarded clothes and hurry out the door, followed by the guard.
Fallas grabbed a robe off a chair and draped it over his shoulders and
sauntered over to you.
“You’re finally here”, he grinned.
Your face was expressionless.
“You’re not happy”, he stated frowning. Keen perception.
“You’re not going to be happy here”, he said placing his hands on your
shoulders, making you flinch.
“You’re here for my pleasure”, he smiled.
You looked him the eye, “If you’re going to kill me, I-”
“Oh no, no! I’m not going to kill you. I need you”, he said stroking your
cheek.
“Why”, you bit out.
“Because I’m a collector of the arts too”, he smirked running the pad of his
thumb around the rim of your lips.
His eyes traveled down your body and you’ve never felt more naked in your life.
His hands dropped down from your face to the stomacher of your dress. Before he
could touch you, your hands seized his.
“Thorin will come for me. And when he does, he will rip you apart”, you said
trying to keep your voice from cracking. He gave you a half smirk before
shaking you off and proceeding to touch you.
“I received word that he has indeed reached Belegost and demanded your
release”. Your heart leaped with joy and your lips dared to smile.
“No one knows anything at Belegost, I’m afraid. We aren’t in Belegost after
all”, your heart plummeted to your feet. But Thorin won’t give up, you knew
that. “Don’t look so glum, Y/n. You’re here with me”, his lips grazed your
jawline, “He’s nothing compared to me. But I’d love to see his face when I take
you. I might have that arranged...would you like that?”,he chuckled into your
skin.
You pulled back in rage and slapped him across his face before running to the
door. When pushing didn’t work you tugged at the handles, “let me out!”, you
hammered on the the wood with your fists.
Fallas dragged you away from the door and pushed you on to a chair. You looked
around for something to defend yourself with while he rubbed his bearded jaw.
“I’ll let that one slide since this is your first day. Anymore of that and I’ll
break your ribs, you hear me?”, he roughly grabbed your chin and glared at you.
The cursed room was strategically void of sharp or movable objects.
His eyes softened and picked you up. You squirmed in his arms, “Put me down”.
He laid you down on the bed and you did your best to not touch much of it. He
quickly shed his robe and loosened the lacing of his pants. You avoided looking
at his face, you glared at his feet. Could you fight him off? You won’t let
this happen.
“Please, don’t do this. I’m pregnant”, you pleaded.
“Good. Now I can’t get you pregnant”, he pushed you flat against the bed and
ran a hand over your chest and down the valley between your swelling breasts.
“You’ll hurt the baby”, you tried to explain.
“Why should I care about some forgotten King’s bastard child?”, he ripped the
lace off the gold stomacher and yanked it from under you. You curled up in an
attempt to shield yourself from his eyes and touch.
He slid a hand over your calf and higher till he had a firm grasp on your
thigh, he forced your legs apart while you resisted with every ounce of
strength you could muster.
“The more you resist, the more pain you’ll feel”, his cold voice pricked your
skin. He knelt between your open legs and pulled you against his bare chest and
held you there while his fingers worked on untying the lacing on the back of
your dress. Your face was buried in the thick tuft of blond hair on his firm
chest, you fought the urge to cry when he tugged the dress loose. He pushed you
back down and reached for the neckline of the dress, you slapped his hand away.
He grinned, looking pleased, “I must admit, forcing myself on you is half the
fun”. He slapped you hard blurring your vision and making your ears ring,
“I suppose I’m just returning the favor”, he pulled the dress off your
shoulders and off your arms. You groaned in pain as you tried to push him off
you and when you finally realised you were exposed, your arms flew up to cover
your chest. He leaned in and claimed your lips, biting and sucking more than
kissing. You remained motionless. He moved down your neck, biting hard enough
to badly bruise you. Tears stung your eyes.
His arms ripped your hands away from your chest and pinned them at your sides.
You squirmed as he got closer to your breasts. Remembering your free feet, you
tucked them under his torso and pushed him away. He was taken by surprise, but
of course he wouldn’t let that stop him, with some difficulty he pulled the
dress off your hips and straddled you.
“Looks like we’re going to have to skip the foreplay since you’re not in the
mood today”.
He grabbed handfuls of your breasts and kneaded them while rubbing his hardness
against your panty clad slit. With a hard tug, he ripped your pantied off, with
his other hand he freed his throbbing erection.
“Please don’t...please”, your tears spilled down your cheeks.
He forced your legs open and held them steady around his waist, he sucked on
the flesh of your neck and chest as he positioned himself at your entrance. You
screamed in pain and shame when he rammed into your dry opening. He groaned
like he enjoyed your pain. He didn't give you time to adjust, he kept tearing
away to your insides. You squeezed your eyes shut trying to imagine being
somewhere else...anywhere but here. Images of home...Thorin’s house took form
in your mind. Playful banters with Dis and Bofur and Thorin’s arms around you.
Fallas thrusted erratically into you as you laid there unmoving with your eyes
closed. You felt nothing, you were numb and it brought you no pleasure.
Choosing to remain motionless was probably the smart thing to do, to reduce
injury to yourself and the baby. You opened your eyes by a fraction and hissed
in pain when you felt teeth sink into your shoulder.
He grunted as warm blood dripped onto his lower lip, he lapped at it making you
grit your teeth. His fingers dug painfully into your hips while his thrusts
quickened, violently shaking your form. Backing up enough to sit back, he
gripped your throat, almost depriving you of air. He groaned loudly when he
spilled into you, he was still spurting when he pulled out and laid his length
against your warmth. Thick ropes of semen shit out, coating your stomach and
neck.
He fell limp on you, panting and sweating.
You weakly pushed against him and to your surprise he rolled over.
“You don’t seem to be pleased”, you heard his amusement in his voice.
“You do not have the capability or the virility to please me”, you spat
bitterly.
Wiping some of his seed from your tearstained cheek you asked, “Can I go now?”.
He shouted something in Khuzdul, you jumped startled by the volume of his
voice.
The door opened and the same dwarf who had brought you here appeared.
“Take her back to her quarters. Do what you will with her, but don’t damage her
pretty skin”. You slipped into your dress and sat back down on the bed. You
didn’t want to leave with this man, you were tired and in pain, you didn’t know
what he was going to do.
Fallas turned his head to look at you and laughed, “I’m sure he’ll be gentle.
I’ll see you again tomorrow. You’ll get to have me inside you again”. You
burned with anger at his remarks, you shot up to your feet and before you could
step away from the bed, he gave your bum a hard slap.
“I will kill you. I will put a dagger through your heart”, you said calmly
without facing him.
He chuckled behind you, “Of course you will”.
You walked past the guard and out the open door, he quickly flanked you.
Remembering the way back to your room, you walked ahead of the guard and waited
for him to unlock the door. Once he did, you stepped inside and waited for his
to follow you. He didn’t.
Instead his locked the door behind you and left you to your peace.
Relief flooded you and you quickly shed your clothes and clumsily climbed into
the tub. More tears and sobbed escaped you while you grabbed the sliver of soap
and furiously rubbed at your skin. You wanted to get him off you.
A strangled wail left your lips. Why, Aule? Why is this happening? Water
sloshed around you as your arms worked frantically to scrub your chest and neck
till your were turning scarlet. You didn’t realize that you were sitting in the
tub for over an hour trying to clean yourself.
“Milady”, a squeak came from the door.
Your head snapped up and saw the mousy dwarrowdam from before. She stepped in
and hurried over when she saw the state you were in. She gently reached for you
hand, you flinched away.
“No! Don’t touch me”, you cried.
“Milady, I only want to help”, she said looking at you with her doe eyes.
She tried again, more gently, “let me help you”.
You let her take your hands away from your body, she took the soap from your
fingers and washed the suds off you.
“Come on”, she helped you to your feet and out of the tub, draping a towel over
your shoulders she made you sit on the bed. She patted you down and held out
the slip of the dress that she had brought in earlier. You stepped into it and
sat down, a little reloved that you weren’t all that naked anymore.
She began undoing the drenched braids in your hair and you let her, but when
she moved to undo the braid Throin had put in your hair, you grabbed her wrist,
“No”.
She nodded understandingly, using the towel she patted it dry as best as she
could and dried the rest of your hair.
“I will have them change the bath water, milady”, she smiled.
"I’m not a lady. You don’t have to call me that”, you said staring at the
floor.
“What would you like me to call you?”, she asked hesitantly.
You didn’t reply. You didn’t want to talk anymore.
“I’ll bring up your supper in a bit..milady”, she said after a while and left.
Night had fallen and the room got a little chilly but what with no fireplace or
brazier you could only curl up under the rough blanket and keep warm. You
didn’t know how long you stayed in that position, but you fell into an
uncomfortable sleep.
You woke up shivering, there was definitely a draft in here. On top of that,
you were starving. You turned your head to side and by the light of the moon
you made out a tray of food by the foot of the door. You hopped down on to the
cold floor and knelt at the tray and ate whatever they offered you. The tray
sat on a thick blanket. The girl was not like the rest of the people here.
After eating, you picked up the blanket and slipped under the covers again with
the new blanket over them. You felt significantly better and it wasn’t that
difficult to slip back into sleep.
===============================================================================
The next morning you woke to the sound a knock. You had forgotten where you
were and looking around reality punched your right in the gut. The mousy girl
was back with more food.
“I hope you slept well”, she smiled shyly.
You moved to get out of bed and winced in pain that emanated from various parts
of your body.
“I’m sorry”, she said handing you a slice of toast and butter.
You chewed in silence.
“We here have all been where you are”, she said solemnly.
“What is your name?”, you asked looking at her properly for the first time.
“Roh”.
“Y/n”.
She picked up your tattered dress off the floor and folded it.
“What do you mean “we”?”, you asked after a while.
“There are quite a few dwarrowdam here, and a few human women. They too
are..prisoners”.
“Why do you get to walk around?”
“I suppose I earned Lord Fallas’ trust, like some of the others”.
“You’ve never tried to escape?”
“Once”, she pushed the sleeves of her dress back and relived deep pink brands
on her forearms. The symbols were similar to those adorning the guards’ armor
and tapestries in the halls.
“There is only one way out. Through a door on the main level. I am only allowed
on the lower levels. There is no leaving. I’m sorry”
“How old were you..when..”, you gave her a sympathetic look.
“I was just a dwarfling. I’ve been here twenty years...I dare say that I don’t
know another life other than this”, she smiled meekly.
“I’m sorry”.
“I would like to feel the grass under my feet again. And the wind in my
hair..why, I’d quite forgotten what that feels like”, she was dreamily looking
out the narrow window.
“Will..the guards not help?”
“They’re just like their master. They take what they want from us and treat us
like animals”.
You sighed.
“I won’t lose hope. There are people out there looking for me”, you said
twisting Thorin’s ring around your finger.
“If I may bestow a piece of advice?”, Roh asked twisting a lock of her red
hair.
“Hm?”
“Win his trust. Life gets easier when you do”.
“Why are you nice to me? I could hold you hostage and demand my release, why do
you trust me?”, it was true. You were stronger than her.
She laughed, “Lord Fallas would like that. Another life to replace...a new toy.
He wouldn’t care”, she shook her head, “And you wouldn’t do anything of the
sort. You are not a person who’d do that”.
Her green eyes bore into yours and you it dawned on you that she was no wilting
flower.
“Now”, she said picking up the tray, “get dressed. Lord Fallas wishes to see
you”.
You wanted to crawl back into bed and pretend none of this is happening.
Roh knocked on the door and turned to you, “It’s only till he goes away to
Belegost. We have some time to ourselves then”, she was trying to lift your
spirits. The door opened and she was gone.
You pick up the dress Thorin had made for you and contemplated on putting it
on. It was comforting to wear it, it was the closest thing to a hug from him.
But instead you laid it under your pillow and put on the purple and lilac dress
Roh had brought in yesterday. You had to be strong, even if it’s going to be
difficult.
If you were to win his trust, every detail counted. You twisted your hair into
a rope braid and coiled it around your head and finally tucked your courting
braid into it away from sight. Then you waited to be escorted to his chambers.
===============================================================================
You pulled your dress down and tried to stop your face from contorting in pain.
“You were good today”, Fallas said wrapping his arms around your waist and
pulling you back against his chest. You fought against the urge to kick him in
his balls. His beard tickled your ear and his teeth nipped your neck. You
turned to face him with a slight smile, “I’m glad you liked that”.
His eyes searched your face, “Hm”.
“Is there anything else you need my Lord?”
“No”, he took a few steps back and fell back on the bed, propping himself up on
his elbows, he continued, “But I do have news for you”.
You cocked your head slightly.
“Thorin didn’t take no for an answer when my men turned him away from my home.
In the middle of the night he broke in with his men and my guards didn’t let
anyone leave alive”, he smirked wickedly.
Your throat closed up and your head spun. But you refused to fall apart in
front of him. Clearing your throat you spoke, “Well, if that’s all, may I
leave?”.
***** The Dead of Winter (Part 2) *****
Chapter Notes
     Trigger warning! Distressing stuff ahead..I mean, it's not that
     bad..but be warned all the same.
     Hope you enjoy!
     Comment and leave kudos <3
Weeks passed by.
Your body grew accustomed to the violent plundering it was exposed to many
times a day. It would have seem that the rest of the prisoners have been
ignored by Fallas as you became his favourite toy. He made you do unspeakable
things, did unspeakable things to you because it made him happy. Some days you
felt like you were on the verge of dying,
He had some of his men take turns fucking you while he watched, he had whipped
you on more than one occasion, he had made you make love to other dwarrowdam to
get him off. To keep track of the obscenities he put you through would be
folly. The only reason you held on was the fact that you knew your baby was
still alive. A couple days ago, you noticed a slight swelling around your
belly, and since you were quite certain your meagre diet was not causing you to
gain weight, it had to be sign of life in there.
You didn’t complain about or resist Fallas’ inhumane actions, you at the most
only hesitated for a fraction of a second. You needed to get out of here to
ensure that Thorin’s baby survives and furthers his bloodline. You weren’t
quite sure if Fallas had spoken the truth about Thorin. He was most likely
trying to rile you up or crush your spirit. But at the same time you couldn’t
help but wonder if he had indeed been telling the truth.
When Fallas would leave to tend to his other duties, you would have a moment of
peace and it was the most joy you could experience in this place. You would
have at most a week away from him, but his guards made sure you weren’t just
lounging about. SInce he got back fairly quickly, you were sure that you
weren’t that far away from Belegost.
The rude dwarf guard who accompanied you to and from your quarters was doing
the same today. Because of his very prominent scar across his eye, you had
taken to calling him Scarface, in your head at least. Fallas was about to leave
for Belegost and he wished to enjoy your company one last time and now you were
heading back to your room.
You stepped in and was roughly pulled back out of your room by your hand. You
gasped as you turned to face the stoic face of Scarface. Mentally sighing, you
awaited his assault, this was going to be your first with him.
He gripped your hand tight and slid the Thorin’s ring off your finger.
“No!”, you made a lunge for him which he countered with a sharp push against
your shoulder which sent you toppling back into your room and the door slammed
shut. You hurled yourself at the door, pounding and shouting “Give it back!”.
Fallas hadn’t given your ring a second glance. Gems were of no use to him. Of
course the filthy, thieving guard probably wants to pawn it at some local shop.
You lost your wedding ring. You were crushed and it stung more than the open
wound on your cheek or the scratches on your back.
“Y/n!”, a muffled voice called from outside the door and you stood back as it
flung open. Roh walked in looking concerned.
“What’s the matter Y/n?”, she asked inspecting your pained face.
“He took my ring!”, you wailed.
“Who?”
“The big lumbering oaf of a guard!”
Roh backed up into the open doorway and looked both ways, “He’s gone now. Oh,
Y/n you should have hidden it. You know what the people here are like”, she
tried to calm you.
“I shouldn’t have taken it. I knew I’d lose it”, you sobbed.
“People lose things all the time”, she rubbed your back, “Things are for
losing. Let it go. He could have taken a lot worse from you”.
You sniffed as you stared at the open door.
“Why aren’t they locking it?”, you asked curiously.
“You did it. You are free to walk outside your room”, she grinned.
You gawked at her, so soon?
“I know what you’re thinking, He only let you do so because you behaved and
because you’ll be watched very closely”. She meant you still had quite a way to
go.
“Bu-”, you were cut short when your tummy churned painfully.
“Y/n?”
“Y-yeah..I-”, you shrieked in agony before completing your thought.
You collapsed to the ground but Roh managed to break your fall.
The wind was knocked completely out of your lungs when searing agony gripped
you.
“Something’s wrong”, you cried clutching her hand.
Roh’s eyes swept your body trying to figure out what was happening, “Where? Oh-
”, her voice was frantic.
Your hands clutched your tummy feeling faint. You felt warm liquid between your
legs and in seconds blood seeped through your dress and pooled around you.
“No!”, you gasped. No, this can’t happen..
A scream left your lips when your insides twisted and contracted violently.
A guard stepped before the door and walked away after muttering, “Not another
one”. You felt yourself cramping up.
Roh wiped your tears away and smoothed your hair while saying anything and
everything that she thought would soothe you. And just like that, the cramps
and the convulsions stopped, leaving behind sore muscles and a puddle of blood
on the floor.
You laid there breathing heavily while you processes what just happened.
“I lost the baby didn’t I?”, you asked in a choked voice.
“I’m afraid you did”, Roh said sympathetically.
You lost the one thing you had left of Thorin. It was an innocent life, a life
that wouldn’t come to see the light of day.
“I lost my baby”, you cried.
“Hush now”, of course Roh couldn’t begin to comprehend your devastation. But
she was doing the best she could to comfort you.
“I’ll help you out of these clothes. The sooner you get out of them, the better
you’ll feel”. No you wouldn’t. Your problem wasn’t getting blood on your
clothes, your problem was your broken heart, your shattered dreams and your
dead baby. But you complied.
She helped you to your feet, a sharp jolt of pain shot up your spine and a
sickening splat was heard in the room as something hit the floor between your
feet. Squeezing your eyes shut and enduring it, you stood while Roh unlaced
your dress. Your head was spinning but you didn’t say so.
She peeled the dress off your bloodied skin and dropped it to the floor. Taking
your hands she lead you to the bath tub and you slowly stepped in. You pulled
your knees to your chest and rested your cheek on them.
“I’ll be back with a new dress”, you vaguely heard Roh say before hurrying over
to the discarded dress and out the door, shutting it behind her.
You didn’t cry. You couldn’t anymore. The pain was too much that it was numbing
you and was causing your lungs to collapse.
You needed to stay alive for your your baby and now you couldn’t find a reason
to. Even if Thorin was alive, how were you going to explain this to him? And
how can you go back to him after being...tainted? He deserved so much more and
the only reason you would have gone back to him before was to bear his child
and nothing else.
The iron banding the edge of the bathtub caught your eye. You ran your fingers
over the sharp, uneven edge. Your thoughts drifted. If you end things now, you
could be free. No one will hurt you again.
You dragged your wrist vertically down the edge, but it only left a pink
scratch. More pressure? Before you could try again, Roh entered the room again.
She saw what you were doing and immediately understood what you were about to
do.
“Y/n, stop!”, she hurried over to you and yanked your hands away from the tub.
You put up a weak fight.
“Leave me be!”
“I won’t let you kill yourself”, she snapped.
“I don’t have anything to live for! I am ruined! I have no one..”, you wailed.
“Stop it!”, she hissed, “don’t you think I haven’t thought about doing the
same? I have more reason than you”.
You cried silently.
“You’ve told me about your friends, Dis, Avila and Bofur. And Thorin. Remember
him? You said he’s out there looking for you. Do not give up”, she brushed your
hair back and forced you to look at her.
“What if he’s not?”, you sobbed.
“You need to live. The only thing I remember of my mother is her telling me how
precious life is, You cannot die. I have faith that I will get out of here one
day and I intend to live till I see that day. And I beg you to do the same.
This is not the end. There’s more to our lives, I know it”, her green eyes lit
up with hope and determination. She looked so sure and you wanted to believe
her and be as optimistic but right now you just couldn’t see the light at the
end of the tunnel.
“I know how you feel. I might not know how it feels to lose a child, but I know
how it feels like to lose everything. To have everything taken from you and
feel like the world is at an end. I also know how difficult it is to think that
things could get better. How could they? Your heart is broken. But I need you
to trust me..”, her eyes silently begged you.
“Trust me when I say that things get better. You will heal and you will smile
again. You won’t die here”, she squeezed your hand in assurance.
You blindly placed your trust in her.
===============================================================================
A few days passed by since. You had been allowed to walk around and you had
made it to the entrance to the main floor which was a heavily guarded room.
Getting through those guards would take a lot of strength...strength you didn’t
have.
But your time with the guards had given you a glimpse into the weak points of
their armor. Maybe you could use that to your advantage? Fallas was getting
back tomorrow and if Mahal was with you, you could be gone before then.
You were carrying a basket of clean sheets. You were cleaning the chambers with
a few other dwarrowdam today.
When you neared a guard who stood watch at the door of a prisoner, you
pretended trip and dropped the basket at his feet.
“Oi watch it! Clumsy git”, he barked.
You bent your head started to pick up the sheets with a small, “sorry”.
Luckily, some of the sheets fell on his feet, “pick em up”, he growled. You
moved swiftly watching his face through the corner of your eye. Once his boots
were free, his gaze was redirected on to the wall in front of him. You quickly
and nimbly unsheathed the small dagger concealed in his boot and slipped it in
the basket before picking it up and proceeding.
===============================================================================
Night fell and you watched the snow glitter against the moonlight through your
small window. It was time.
You slipped out of the dress you were wearing and put on the dress Thorin had
given you to wear on Durin’s Day instead. It was ripped in some places and
dirty, but it made you feel safe in and it represented freedom in some ways to
you. It was like Thorin would be helping you make your escape. You let your
hair down and tightened your courting bead around its braid. Lastly, you put on
the fur mantel you had procured from a corner in this dungeon you were in. It
was the dead of winter and it was going to be cold. Especially when the wind
picks up later tonight. You had no boots, just a flimsy pair of kid slippers
but they’d have to do.
You stepped outside and slowly closed the door and made your way to Roh’s room.
It was late at night and since Fallas wasn’t here many of the guards didn’t
bother with regular rounds, insisting that these dwarrowdam had no wits to
sneak out nor the guts. You didn’t bother knocking, you entered and saw her
looking out the window intently.
She whipped around surprised to have any visitors at this hour.
“Y/n, what are you doing here?”
“I’m leaving”, you said quietly.
“So I see”, she said taking in your attire.
“Roh, come with me”, you suggested.
She smiled and shook her head, “You are going to need stealth on your side. If
you had me by your side you’d be at a disadvantage. I’m afraid I’m no good with
weapons or stealth”, a slight flush crept to her cheeks.
You would have pushed her more but you couldn’t guarantee her safety or yours
for that matter. The only difference was that you didn’t care if you died
trying to get out or put in chains for the rest of your life. You had to try.
You couldn’t stand to be here, trapped like an animal anymore.
“Thank you”, you said bowing your head in respect.
“For what?”
“For everything. For giving me hope. For being a friend”.
“Please, think nothing of it”.
You walked over to her and hugged her, “I will be back for you”.
“I wish you all the luck in the world”, she pulled back and smiled that half
smile of hers.
You noded once and opened the door, “I’ll see you soon”.
Walking down the hall, you slipped past some guards who sat playing gwent and
downing a few tankards.
You hurried to end of the second floor and peeked into the room that housed the
door to the main floor. Three guards stood watch.
Alright, you needed to be brave. A small voice in the back of your mind
screamed that this was the most stupid thing you’ve done. You couldn’t back
down now.
Taking a deep breath, you held your chin up and walked into the room.
“What are ye doin’ here? Go back, ya crazy wench”, one of the guards snapped.
You kept walking till you reached the middle of the room, the guards stepped
forward. “I’m warning you!”, he growled.
You pulled out your dagger and readied yourself to attack. A hand came down on
your shoulder from the back and twirled you around, snatching your dagger away
from you in the process.
“No!”, you screamed looking at Scarface. He held you by the scruff of your
mantel. He sheathed it in his boot. He asked for an axe from one of the guards
in Khuzdul.
You were shaking. He was going to murder you right here. It was all over.
The guard complied and handed him the one he held. Scarface glared at you and
showed you aside before hacking away at the guards who had stood in your way.
They put up quite a fight, but Scarface was a slaughtering machine and much
bigger than any of them.
You could only stand there gawing at what was unfolding in front of you. It
didn't take long for him to cut them down. He pulled the axe out of one of them
and turned to you.
“Please don’t kill me”, you whispered shrinking back.
“You couldn’t wait, could you?”, his voice was deep and thunderous.
“Wait for what?”
“The King would have been here in a matter of days, but you threw the pan off
course”, he narrowed his eyes.
“The King?”, who was he talking about?
“Thorin”.
“He’s alive?”, you gasped.
“Of course, why wouldn’t he be? He is close”.
A new surge of hope and happiness you haven’t felt in weeks spread through you.
“Why are you helping me?”
“I serve my King and Queen, even though I have to seek employment in unsavory
places. A dwarf must make a living”, a flash of shame flickered in his eyes and
it was gone just as quickly.
“Come, we mustn’t delay”, he pushed the doors open and lead you up a set of
stairs and down a more hallways till you reached a big black iron door.
“Go north from the yellow tree. Keep going and you might find Thorin or if you
don’t you’ll find the town of Helmth, people there will help you”. He looked
down and quickly shook his boots off.
“Those slivers of parchment won't get you far. Take mine”.
You stepped into the large boots and shrugged, “They’re a bit big”.
He bent down and pulled the binding s of around the boots tight around your
legs and secured them. You could move without them slipping off.
“Thank you”, you said placing a hand on his arm.
“Nevermind that. Off with you”, he yanked the door open and a gust of icy wind
blew in your face. He handed back the dagger to you.
“Let the others go”, you said looking back at him.
“I cannot. I’m sorry”, he shouted over the howling wind.
You sighed and staggered off into the storm. It was a full blown blizzard and
the snow went past your thighs. How in the world were you going to find a
yellow tree in all of this?
The snow came down hard and the cold had numbed your face a good long while
ago. You squinted to see through the veil of snow as you kept going. It felt
like you’ve been waling for hours when you spotted a tall tree. It was the only
tree that was growing for a couple miles. Walking over to it, you dug at the
snow covering the bark. Was it yellow? It was some sort of murkish beige.
That’ll do.
You located north using the very dim stars. Durin the Deathless always points
north. You thanked Thorin mentally for telling you that.
Falling down was annoying and caused you to slow down quite a bit. You only
prayed that you won’t freeze to death before you found shelter. The darkness
wasn’t helping either. But did you regret your decision? No.
A shrill howl was carried towards you on the wind. What was that? You looked
around, but of course your visibility was bad so you kept walking.
===============================================================================
You were too cold. You couldn’t feel your fingers and your ears were aching,
probably on the brink of falling off. All you wanted to do was stop, but
stopping would mean you were good as dead.
A snarl came from a few feet infront of you. You stopped short and tried to
make out what it was. You stumbled back. A looming form stepped forward and you
saw that it was a warg, as while as the snow and its rider a pale orc. More
wargs with riders appeared behind him.
“Azog”, you choked. What was he doing this far West?
His gaze ran up and down your body. Perfect time to be decked to the nines with
sigils of the house of Durin. As if he read your mind, he roared something in
black speech and the only word you could make out was “Durin”.
Three other wargs snarled viciously and stepped forward.
Run, you urged your legs. Run.
Clawing at the snow you sprinted as fast as blizzard would allow. Blood
curdling howls echoed behind you.
It didn't take long for the wargs to catch up to you, one snapped at your feet
and sent you tumbling onto the snow. You shreked when it caught hold of your
mantel and shook you by it. Another snapped at your arms, you dodged and sank
your dagger into its side while kicking the warg at your feet. The dagger was
not enough to take it down. You shrugged off your mantel and crawled away
quickly. Rising to your feet you forced yourself to run.
Pained yelps and growls split through the air. You looked over your shoulder
and saw that the wargs weren't chasing you anymore. You looked around
desperately.
“Y/n?”
You heard a faint voice. But it was gutwrenchingly familiar.
Shivering harshly, you took weak steps froward to see through the falling snow.
“Thorin?”.
***** Mine to Love *****
Chapter Notes
     Sorry these are taking forever, I'm trying to change colleges and
     that's been a real pain.
     Hope you like this, I'm planning on writing two more chapters :)
     Leave kudos and comments! <3
Thorin dismounted his pony and waded in the snow towards you. In one motion he
had you in his big arms, warmth surrounding you. Your fingers curled into his
thick fur mantel. He nuzzled into your hair whispering incomprehensible things.
“Thorin”, you sobbed. It was him. It was really him. It was his warmth that
shrouded you, it was his snowflake covered cheek he pressed against your hair.
He was here.
He hushed you and just held you close.
“Thorin, though I am as elated as you to have found Y/n, I must advise that we
best find some shelter. There might be more wargs about and the blizzard will
only worsen”, Dwalin piped up from the back.
Thorin took his mantle off and draped it over your shoulders and helped you up
onto the pony before climbing on himself. Pulling you close to his chest, he
kicked the pony into motion. You snuggled deep into his big fur mantle and
sighed in exhaustion and happiness.
Bofur smiled at you from his pony welcoming you back without words.
“Azog”, you remembered, “I saw Azog”, you spoke over the sound of the wind.
Dwalin snorted, “The girl is delirious. Let’s get her warm”.
“Are you not cold?”, you asked weakly while looking up at Thorin. He merely
shook his head as he kept his eyes on the road before him.
Oh. Alright then. Maybe you shouldn’t fight the sleep pulling you down into
darkness. So you didn’t.
===============================================================================
Sleep was blissful. For the first time in two months you slept well. So well,
that you didn’t even stir when Thorin moved you from the pony to the floor of a
cave they found.
You would have slept right through the storm, even though the ride back to Ered
Luin, if not for Thorin’s voice. You always found his voice comforting and it
should have lulled you deeper into sleep, but the note of anger in it pulled
you out of your dreamless slumber. You stirred in his oversized mantle.
“Thorin, you ought to look happier to be with Y/n again, is all I’m saying”,
Dwalin tried to explain.
“Happy?! How can I take pleasure from seeing her like this? She is black and
blue all over!”, he growled and then brought his voice down incase he woke you.
You turned your head and saw that Gloin, Balin, Bofur and Bifur were all
huddled in the opposite side of the fire that you laid next to. Dwalin and
Thorin stood at the entrance of the cave and from the look and sound of their
spat, Dwalin wanted to get Thorin out of the cold and next to the fire incase
he froze to death. But as usual, Thorin was being hardheaded.
“Leave me be. I’m fine”, he rumbled.
“Thorin”, you rasped in your sleep-heavy voice.
He whipped around and took quick, long strides to kneel down next to you.
Propping yourself up on your elbows, you reached for his hand.
He enveloped you in a loving embrace, “Oh, my One. Forgive me..”.
“Lads”, Balin cleared his throat and they all moved deeper into the shallow
cave.
You wound your fingers in his hair and kissed his cheek, “You’re ice cold”, you
said pulling back slightly, “sit by the fire”, you plead.
He shook his head, “This can’t even be a fraction of what you felt”, he was
punishing himself. You cupped his face in your hands, running your thumbs over
his bearded cheeks you smiled, “My love, I am fine now that I’m with you”. He
looked more tired than you’ve ever seen him. His face was pale, his eyes had
dark circles under them and they wore a deeply tortured look that harrowed your
very soul.
“Look at you”, he whispered running his thumb over your bruised cheek, months
ago you would have winced but now you barely felt it, “worried about me, when
you’re the one deserving of all concern”. You smiled amidst your tears.
“I thought I lost you..I looked everywhere for you”, he sounded dazed.
“You found me, I am here”, you shushed him and placed a light kiss on his
cheek.
He chuckled bitterly.
“We have to go back”, you said as your thoughts drifted to Fallas’ keep.
“Absolutely not!”, Thorin snapped while examining your face to see if you’ve
lost your senses.
“No you don’t understand...there are more just like me. Thorin, we need to help
them”, you begged.
“More?”, a look of disgust shrouded his features, “Y/n...it's a miracle you got
out alive, I won’t let you go back there”.
“I had help”, you half smiled.
“Indeed”, he clasped your hand in his and slid a ring on your ring finger and
it didn’t take you long to realise that it was the ring he had given you on
Durin’s Day...the ring Scarface stole from you.
“Oh! How?”, was all you could manage.
“Olmeth served my father. He knew I was looking for you and when he realised
who you were, he got this to me a few moons ago. And he proposed a plan”, he
smiled and ran a finger down your jaw, “which had some complications, I
assume”.
“He told me of no such thing”, you defended yourself, “he ought to have spoken
more”.
“He isn’t a dwarf of many words”.
“Why were you out in the blizzard? You could have waited it out”, you asked.
He chuckled, “Yes, that’s the first thought that crossed my mind: to wait the
bloody storm out while the light of my world withered away”. He rested his
forehead on yours, “No, I would have crossed the Sundering seas for you in the
middle of the monsoon”. You buried your face in his tunic and inhaled his scent
which you’ve missed so much.
“Y/n...I’m going to take back Erebor. Not only because it's my birthright, but
because I want to protect you from everything”.
Your heart skipped a beat, “Thorin that’s-”.
He hushed you, “We’ll speak of it later”. But that didn’t calm your worries.
He was quiet for a while. He ran his rough hands up and down your back and you
were lost in the safe haven that was him.
“What did he do to you?”, his deep voice was thick with disdain and hate.
Your grip on his tunic tightened, “Thorin..”, you silently plead with him to
not make tell him any of this. “Y/n..what did he do to you?”, he asked more
slowly but with a piercing note of determination. “Did he touch you?”, his
voice wavered, “I know you don’t want to talk about this yet. But I need to
know”.
You squeezed your eyes shut as a sob escaped your lips.
“So he did”, his pain and sadness was apparent in the way he said it.
“I won’t let him get away with this..with any of this”, anger dripped in his
tone. You pulled back, “He’ll be back tomorrow and when he finds out I’m gone,
he’ll flee the place”.
He stood up, “Bofur!”. You turned your head to see him walk over to you two.
“I need you to take Y/n back to Ered Luin”.
“What?”, you gasped wiping your tear stained cheeks, “I want to come with you”.
You needed to see the light fade from Fallas’ eyes, you wanted to see him
suffer for all he’s done to you.
“I won’t have you or the baby harmed”, he said sternly and a knot rose in your
throat.
“Thorin’s right lass. They’ll be alright, I’ll take you home”, Bofur looked at
you with that familiar twinkle in his eye.
“Thorin I need to tell you something”, you began with your hands shaking and
mouth drying up.
He pulled you to your feet and grasped your shoulders,”I know. We have a lot to
talk about. But you are right, we cannot delay longer. Go home, I will come
back to you”, his eyes flickered to your lips but kissed your nose instead. You
wanted to say it...get it over with, but how could you just blurt out something
like this?
He picked up his sword which had been lying against the rocky wall of the cave.
Strapping it around his waist he asked the others to come forth.
You bent and picked up his fur mantle and held it up for him to slip into. Once
he did, you fastened the clasps and smoothed the fur.
“How will you get in? There’s only one door”.
“Don’t ye worry yer pretty little head about that”, Dwalin grunted while
swinging his axe over his shoulder, “We’ll get in - door or no door”.
“We’ll have Olmeth’s help”, Thorin said heading towards the mouth of the cave.
“Get her home safe, Bofur”, he turned to look at you once more before untying
his pony. Then he was gone. He was swallowed by the white storm with the others
flaking him.
You stood there with your hands nervously fiddling with the ripped seams of
your skirt.
“Y/n?”, you fell back to earth with a start.
“Hm?”
“You’ve been standing there for quite some time now, lass”, he chuckled from
his seat by the fire, “come eat something”.
You sat down next to him and took the bowl of stew from him and ate in silence
for a while.
“How are you doing?”, you inquired.
He puffed on his pipe as he answered, “I am well. Still the same you left me.
Though I can’t help but notice that the same cannot be said for you”, he looked
somberly at your tired face - despite the sleep you'd just gotten. You knew he
wasn’t talking about the physical injuries, his kind soul saw beyond that.
“I don’t know how anything would fall back into the way they used to be”, you
sighed, letting go of your calm demeanour.
“I understand, something of this sort takes time and a lot of support from good
friends”, he paused to smile at you, “and to my knowledge you have plenty of
both the things”.
A grateful smile ghosted your lips, “I know. But Bofur...it’s also coming to
accept myself and the things..I did. I-”, you shook your head. You weren’t
ready, you couldn’t voice your feelings just yet, not even to a friend.
“When you’re ready lass, we’ll be here to listen. And no one...not a single one
of us thinks any less of you for anything you did to survive. This wasn’t your
fault”. You bowed your head in gratitude.
You ate the rest of your food before asking about Avila and Dis.
“They’ve been worried witless. It took Thorin, Gloin and Turil to talk Avila
out of coming with us. Believe me, it took everything Dis had to keep from
putting up a fight herself, but given her condition she knew it wouldn’t do
much good for any of us”.
You laughed, fond memories flooding your mind.
“It’s been quiet without you. Everyone’s been miserable, but Thorin...I’ve
never seen a man so lonesome and wretched”. The mere thought sent your tummy
twisting.
“I’ve missed all of you too”, you said placing a hand on his.
He gave you a light squeeze before digging in his bag.
“Get comfortable, the storm will last till the morning”, he said handing you a
fur blanket of your own
You wrapped it around yourself and leaned against the wall.
“I swear I saw Azog out there”, you said remembering the life threatening
encounter.
“You couldn’t have”, he said softly, “He was killed in the battle of
Azanulbizar, Thorin severed his arm himself”. You knew the story all too well.
But you knew what you saw, and you were just as uncomfortable with dismissing
it as a mere figment of your imagination as you were with accepting his
survival.
“What if he survived?”, you asked lowering your voice.
“If indeed survived, we’ll know. He wouldn’t rest till us Durin folk are dead
so we’ll hear word of his lurkings and such”, he said shaking his head.
“But I am telling you right now”, you argued.
“Lass”, he hesitated, “I pray you won’t take this the wrong way..but when we
found you...well..”, he rubbed the back of his neck, “You weren’t exactly in
the best of conditions..”.
You held your head up high, “what are you saying?”.
“You could have been seeing things...you probably associated wargs with Azog?”,
he tried to find an explanation. You weren’t mad at him for coming to that
conclusion; you had escaped the keep of your rapist, wandered in a freezing
storm for hours on end and nearly lost a leg to a pack of wargs. You said no
more for a while, lost in thought.
“Bofur?”, you yawned, “did you find a dwarrowdam you fancy?”.
He laughed heartily, “No, I’m afraid not. I haven’t had the time to pursue
anyone. Besides, I’m not that good with the ladies. Why do you ask?”.
“You’re going to make some lucky girl very happy one day”, you smiled.
A light blush coloured his cheeks, “Well I don’t know about that, but right now
I’d like to prolong that smile on your face”, he said reaching for his handheld
harp.
He gave it a light strum, “I know you like the lyre, but this would have to do
for now”, he plucked the strings forming the beautiful notes of one of your
favourite songs. Your head felt at ease as you heard music for the first time
since Durin’s Day. The music was a slow beat and soothing tones that slowly
lulled you to sleep.
===============================================================================
A day later you stood before Thorin’s house. Nothing had changed, the rich blue
door still stood on the porch and the house still sloped down, running into the
ground. Your old life.
“Well, go on then”, Bofur said with a grin.
You raised your hand to knock but before your knuckles hit the wood, two voices
from the inside started squabbling. You cocked your head just before the door
flung open with a very flushed Dis standing in the doorway, while Avila stood
on her tiptoes in the back trying to peer over Dis.
“I knew it was you!”, Dis cried in relief and happiness. Her eyes were
glistening as she flung her arms around you.
“Ooof!”, her weight was unexpected and knocked you back, but Bofur was there to
lightly push you forward. Avila threw herself into the mix as well, “Oh, Y/n!!
We’ve missed you so!”.
You hugged back, a laugh breaking free.
They pulled back and Dis had your face in her hands, turning and examining it
with a worried look. She saw the bruises and cuts but resolved to just giving
you a sorrowful twitch of her lips and an invitation to enter, for lack of
better words.
“Lass. I’ll be out and about, just give me a shout if you need me”, Bofur said
with a tip of his hat.
“Thank you”, you said smiling at him before stepping into the house.
The sitting room provided that much craved feeling of home and the safety of a
friendly house.
“Let me just move my things”, Avila said rushing to the sofa where pillows and
bedding lay strewn.
“She stayed over to keep me company”, Dis said picking some of Avila’s clothes
up off the floor.
“Amad!”, you heard little Gimli squeal from behind the sofa.
“What are you doing back there little one?”, Avila asked fishing around over
the backrest of the sofa and scooping him up in her arms.
“Oh!”, you crooned, happy to see him. He threw you a bright smile as Avila
placed him in your arms.
“Y/n!”, he smiled. You lightly bounced him in your arms while walking over to
the sofa to sit down. As much as you were happy to see his sweet innocent face
again, you couldn’t ignore the pang of sadness you felt when you remembered
your loss. When Avila handed him a wooden toy he settled into your lap and got
lost in his imagination.
“Y/n?”, Avila looked at you questioningly.
You took a deep breath and began catching up.
===============================================================================
Three days passed by with no sign of Thorin or the others but this didn’t scare
you. On the sixth day, a little worry began to settle in.
“Bofur, do you think they were captured?”, you asked looking up from your
needlepoint work. He sat in the kitchen with you and Dis, whittling a chunk of
wood into a bear while Dis read her book.
“I wouldn’t worry about them too much lass. They’re taking on other dwarves not
a hoard of orcs”, he gave you a fond smile, “These things take time though”.
SIghing, you dropped your face into your hands, “I shouldn’t have let him gone
without me”.
“How could you have possibly have defended him?”, Dis asked amused.
You looked up and narrowed your eyes at her, “I put this idea into his head,
the least I could do is have gone with him”.
“He would have gone had you brought up the other lasses or not. He was very
determined to give you justice, Y/n”, Bofur said picking at a stubborn splinter
on the bear.
“Oh, would you look at that!”, Dis said slamming her book shut in annoyance.
You glanced up at her in surprise to see her looking out the kitchen window,
“It started bloody snowing again! I’ve just about had it with living above
ground. We never had to deal with this nasty snow business in Erebor!”, she got
up and violently stirred the soup she was letting steep over the fire.
Bofur raised his eyebrows at you and you stifled a giggle, but you did agree
with her. Snow was quite inconvenient.
“Your sudden outburst wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that Turil
won’t able to leave Nogrod with the snow coming down, now would it?”, you
smirked. She sighed.
“I haven’t seen him in three weeks. He hasn’t written me. What if he’s dead?
What if he’s with someone else?”, her voice quaked.
“Now hold on a minute, Dis!”, you said taking the spoon from her hand and
setting it down, “Take a deep breath. He’s doing no such thing”, you assured
her.
Bofur chuckled admiring his bear, “Ah, I hear pregnant women are prone to all
sorts of emotional turmoil”.
Dis shot him a withering look to which he cheekily grinned.
“I know it can be hard. But Turil will come back when he can. And raven don’t
fly well in the snow, you must be patient”, you said making her sit down and
tending to the soup yourself.
“I know you’re right. Sometimes...reason leaves me in the blink of an eye”, she
admitted throwing a glance at Bofur.
“I’m surprised you don’t seem to be having any of these problems”, she said
smoothing her dress over the heavy baby bump, “Lucky”. An empty feeling rose in
the pit of your stomach as your heart sped up; if this was luck, you would have
given anything to be unlucky.
“This is done”, you said tapping the spoon on the side of the pot and laying it
down.
“I think I’ll take a bath before dinner. I’m not that hungry anyway”, you said
feeling the need to be alone all of a sudden. “I’ll set the table”, Bofur
offered cheerfully. “Don’t be long now, the food will get cold”, Dis retorted.
You entered the room you share with Thorin and shut the door. Facing the room
you realised that you were hyperventilating. You had thought that you could get
past this, that you were recovering. Walking over to the crib and kneeling by
it, you sniffled your keep your eyes from watering. All the toys Thorin had
bought for your child was heaped in a mountain in the crib and the delicate
little clothes were folded neatly at the foot of it in piles.
Unfolding one of the gowns you felt the guilt seep through the wall you had
built to contain it. You couldn’t help but feel that this was your fault..you
should have taken better care of yourself.
Clutching it to your chest you laid on your side in a ball and squeezed your
eyes shut. And you finally let yourself feel the full wrath of your sadness.
===============================================================================
After crying yourself to sleep on the floor, you woke up to the soft call of
your name and a gentle caress. The room was dark, you had slept deep into the
night. For weeks Fallas had haunted your dreams, his burning touch shook you
awake while you screamed your voice sore. So it was no surprise you were
dreaming o him again tonight when you were woken. You gasped opening your eyes
feeling your skin damp with sweat.
You turned your head and found yourself gazing into Thorin’s eyes. You were
sitting and had his face in your hands in the blink of an eye.
“You’re alright!”, you cried in relief.
“I am”, he smiled kissing your temple. The clouds outside the window parted and
the light of the moon bathed the room in its cold light. You saw his face was
dirty and patches of blood was drying on the side of his face and hair.
“Are you hurt?”, you asked looking closer and down at his body.
“No, it’s not my blood”, he said lightly. But you proceeded to push his mantle
off his shoulders and inspected his blood stained tunic. “Maybe a few
scratches”, he pulled your hands to his lips and kissed them, his lips were
chapped and dry from the harsh winter winds.
“We did it. Officials from Belegost will be informed of Fallas’ doings soon.
His people will suffer for all of it because he is too dead to do it himself”,
Thorin reached behind him and pulled out the dagger he had given you back in
Erebor. You took it from and gazed at it; the edge of the blade had some dried
blood on it, “He won’t hurt you ever again”, Thorin’s tone sounded flat and
emotionless.
You’ve been told revenge got you no satisfaction. But why did you feel a bit
lighter? Maybe you wanted justice for the others...maybe you truly believed he
was complete evil and that he deserved to die a thousand deaths. Whatever the
case, you felt calmer.
You nodded your thanks, unable to voice your gratitude, “W-what of Olmeth and
the other girls?”.
“Olmeth was killed before we could get there. The other guards turned on him
for mutiny I suppose”, you were dismayed at the news, he had been a ray of
light in the chasm of despair you were plunged into.
“The other prisoners were set free. Some chose to stay as witnesses for when
the officials arrived. Many went in search of their homes”.
You flung your arms around him and buried your face in his hair, his arms
encircled your body, “Y/n, Dis says you haven’t been eating. You ought to for
yourself and the baby”. Your body tensed and he felt it.
“Y/n?”, he pulled back and looked at you questioningly while trailing his hands
to your tummy. He looked down at his hands before looking up at you again.
“There is no baby”, you sobbed looking into his expectant eyes, “I lost it”,
your strangled cries broke his heart. His first reaction was disbelief and in
the moonlight you could see the color drain from his face.
“When?”, he managed to ask, his voice wavering.
“Back in..his keep”.
Thorin retrieved his hands and leaned forward, hiding his face in your lap. You
tangled your fingers in his hair and bent down to rest your forehead on the
back of his head. “I’m sorry”, your sobs were becoming more intense by the
second.
“I’m sorry”, you repeated it as if it will somehow bring your baby back.
Thorin sat back up again, his face crestfallen but you could see that he doing
his very best to be strong for your sake. “Amralime, you have nothing to
apologize for”, he sounded exhausted, “I am sorry, it was my duty to protect
you”, his eyes were glossy.
“I failed you”, he shut his eyes and drew shallow breaths, “You were mine to
protect and mine to love. I let you slip right through my fingers”.
“I’m here”, you said clearing your mind and placing a hand on his.
He said nothing.
“I promised myself that if I made it out, I would stay with you till I had our
baby and I would leave you”, a faint expression of alarm crossed his face.
“Your queen shouldn’t..be someone like me”, you tried to form appropriate
words, but your dry tongue failed you.
“Someone like you?”, he repeated trying to fathom what on earth you were trying
to say, “someone who’s the will stronger than a thousand men? Smarter than all
the wise men of Arda? More beautiful than the first rays of the sun over the
tops of the Misty Mountains? Someone who is the the very fabric of my soul?”,
he tilted your head to make your gaze meet his.
“That’s who you are. That’s who I love, and who I want as my Queen”.
“But..I’m..damaged”, you whimpered against his hand.
“So am I. Everyone is in one is one way or another. Strength is forged in
adversity. But you are not defined by your past. I will stay by you and we will
get through this together...if you’ll still have me?”, the corner of his mouth
turned up slightly.
You fell forward, your face hitting his hard chest as your hands rested on his
pectorals, “Oh Thorin”, you mumbled into his tunic, “I don’t deserve you”.
“You deserve the world”, he lifted you in his arms and walked to the bed to lay
you down. He sat next to you and brushed a few locks of your hair away from
your teary face. “We have forever to try again”, he said trying to give you
hope.
A smile graced your lips and it lifted his heart.
“Kiss me”, you whispered. Thorin had refrained from kissing your lips since he
found you and you hadn’t been in such a hurry to either. It was the guilt that
ate away at the both of you and the self doubt. A spark in the depths of his
cerulean orbs rekindled as you reached for him. His arms pulled you off the bed
in a flash and held you close to his chest as his lips locked on yours
unceremoniously. Your arms wound around his neck and your eyelids blissfully
slid shut, letting yourself get lost in him.
First, his kisses were haphazard and urgent, demanding to taste every inch of
your mouth like he would perish should he go another second without it. Then
they slowed in to gentle caresses that conveyed his love and passion for you.
You tasted his salty tears on his lips, the heady taste of tobacco and pipe
weed and the unmistakable taste of Thorin. Your nails scraped against his
scalp, ruffling his hair and releasing the scent of dried blood and sweat into
the air. Breaking the kiss you peppered kisses along his beard and then the
shell of his ear. “I love you Thorin Oakenshield”.
“And I you, my One”.
“Would you like me to draw you a bath? I can help you wash”, you offered.
He merely shook his head, “I’ll manage. What I need is for you to rest”, he
pushed you back down against the pillow and pulled the bed covers over you to
keep the chill out.
“Don’t take too long, my love”, you said snugly from under the furs.
“I won’t”, he lit a fire in the fireplace and disappeared into the bathroom.
but not before making sure the windows were locked securely.
You listened to the water running, the fire crackling a few feet away from you
and the gentle howl of the wind outside while snowflakes pelted the window
softly. Warmth surrounded you in your cocoon of blankets and furs and pretty
soon Thorin slid in next to smelling like fir and clean linen. He kissed your
lips one more time before wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close. He
fell asleep at once, it was most likely the most peaceful sleep he’s had in
along time - if he’s had any at all.
You were content with watching his steady breathing, his calm, vulnerable air
that shrouded him and the soft set of his lips. Your fingers ran over his bare
chest, avoiding the scratches and a few gashes, all the while making a mental
note to run to the apothecary in the morning to get something to soothe them
with. You played with the smathering of hair on his pectorals before you were
interrupted by Thorin’s abrupt snoring. You giggled affectionately and kissed
his cheek which didn't stir him from his slumber; deep, throaty snores still
rumbled from his chest. One of your hands found his that rested on his stomach,
you caressed his stubby, work ridden fingers and tucked your head between his
and his shoulder.
And for once, you didn’t dream of Fallas. You dreamt of nothing.
***** The Difference Between Frosting and Icing *****
Chapter Notes
     Sorta kinda smut. XD I apologize for the typos and such cause I
     rushed this >.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
The first buds of spring were peeking through the myriad of emerald green
shoots. A light drizzle had dampened the fresh green trees and the stones of
the porch you stepped on to.
“How wonderful it is to hear the songs of birds again”, Avila commented coming
up the path to your house.
“It truly is”, you smiled at her.
“Is everything ready? I don’t see no wagon. Are they running late?”, she asked
concerned.
“The rain probably slowed them down a little. Come in, she’s expecting you”.
Slowly, you had slipped back into the groove of things, with lots of help from
Thorin and your dear friends. Thorin discouraged the idea of getting your old
job back at the tavern, instead he secured a job for you at the apothecary down
the street where you worked with Oin as a herbalist. He took a great liking to
your enthusiasm for knowledge and your knack for growing plants. In mere weeks
you knew how to use over two hundred types of herbs, fungi, and shells. The
proper extraction and preserving methods and how to retrieve honey and wax from
a beehive without getting stung.
“I hear your experiments with oyster shells was a success”, Avila said raising
her eyebrows, “Who’d have thought crushed oyster shells could have such
tremendous healing properties”
You shrugged, “I’ve been around quite a few oysters, it was a hunch”.
“Be careful Turil!”, Dis shrieked from her bedroom.
“Woman, I’m going to be deaf before we set foot out of this house”, Turil
retorted carrying yet another chest of Dis’ things into the sitting room.
Turil had finally bought a house in the mountains of Nogrod. The thought of Dis
leaving saddened you beyond grief but she’d be happier there with all the
servants she could need and protection she and the baby required.
“I wouldn’t need to yell, if you’d let Thorin help”, Dis said indignantly
following him out. “Oh, wife of mine...I could lift ten of these without
breaking a sweat”, he chuckled placing the chest down and pulling Dis into a
warm embrace.
“Avila, please do come visit”, she said walking over to her.
“Of course, I must see if you are well taken care of”, Avila said throwing
Turil a mocking smile to which he snorted playfully.
“Here’s some things I baked for your trip up to the mountain”, Avila handed Dis
a basket shielded by a cloth, she took it gratefully.
“I suppose that’s the wagon now”, Thorin said from his glum corner in the
sitting room. He wasn’t happy to let his little sister go; it wasn’t a matter
of trusting Turil, it was something that ran deeper than the being bound by
blood.
He walked past you and out the door, accompanied by Turil.
Dis held her temples between her hands, “Do you think I should wait till the
baby is born?”.
“Well, it’s too late now”, Avila said slowly.
“It’s just nerves”, you said taking her hands in yours, “There’s a whole year
till the baby gets here. Next spring, I’ll come up to stay and take care of
you”, Dis wiped the look of anxiety off her face and replaced it with a
thankful smile.
“And you’ll be below ground. So no snow”, Avila added helpfully.
Dis laughed as two dwarves walked into the house to start packing the wagon.
All three of you stepped outside to join Turil and Thorin who were in deep
conversation with each other.
You stood next to Thorin while watching the dwarves load the wagon. For a small
person, Dis sure did have a lot of things - mostly because Thorin made sure she
was well tended to even with the little money he made.
Once the wagon was all packed and the dwarves paid for their help, you pulled
Dis into a hug.
“Write me often”, you mumbled trying to contain your emotions.
“I will”, she blubbered before giving Avila a hug as well. She moved to Thorin
where he stood with his arms crossed and eyes burning craters into the ground.
“I expect an invitation to your wedding soon”, she sniffed trying to make light
of the situation.
His eyes shifted to meet hers, “I still think you oughtn’t go till the baby is
born”.
“Stop your bellyaching Thorin”, Dis said sternly, “It’s only a day’s ride,
you’re just going to miss me”, she smiled smugly while wiping her tears.
“Aye. Whoever is going to boss me about now?”, he cracked a wry smile in an
attempt to cast his gloominess aside.
“Don’t you worry about that, I’ve given Y/n strict instructions on how to”, she
said wrapping her arms around her brother. Thorin embraced her back. You smiled
adoringly at the sensitive moment.
“Fine. Go, I hope for fair weather and pleasant travels for you little sister”,
Thorin said placing a hand on her shoulder. She bowed her head and let Turil
help her onto the front of the wagon. Turil hopped on next to her and urged the
ponies into a trot.
“Don’t fall off!”, Thorin called out harshly to which Dis rolled her eyes and
waved at the three of you. You stood outside till the rolling wagon was a mere
spec in the distance.
“Well, I must be getting back to Gimli. I left him with Gloin, and who knows
what sort of damnification they both are upto”, Avila said looking a little
horrified.
“You best be off then”, you laughed. She bowed her head and hurried down the
path. You turned to go inside with Thorin walking next to. Stepping inside, you
immediately felt that something was missing.
“It sure is quiet without her”, you commented sadly.
Thorin chuckled, “Without a doubt”.
You smacked his shoulder playfully.
“What do you say you come with me to the forge today? It would be be better
than staying home alone”, Thorin proposed flopping down on the couch and
pulling his boots off to swap them for his work boots.
You considered it, “Wouldn’t I be a distraction?”.
“Yes. The best kind of distraction”.
You grinned, “Let me just put on something more appropriate”, you said looking
down at your floral print dress.
Retiring to your room, you rummaged around in one of the chests and pulled out
some pants and a chemise. You laid them down and pulled at the lacing of your
dress. Slipping it off your shoulders and on to the floor, you reached for your
pants and stopped short when you caught a glimpse of your reflection in the
mirror over the dresser.
The bruises had faded and all that remained were deep scars that marred your
once perfect skin. You ran a finger over one of the scars just under your neck.
The fact that you could remember the details of how every single one of your
scars came about. The memory of pain and humiliation never abandoned you. Your
fingers slipped down over one of the longer scars between your breasts that
ended over your belly button. A soft sigh left you.
“Y/n?”.
You jumped, seizing a nearby robe and shielding yourself as best as you could.
“Thorin!”, you gasped, “what are you doing here?”.
“It’s my room too”, he said quietly while sauntering over to you. You stepped
back and collided with the dresser behind you. “Thorin, I’ll only be a minute
more”, you stuttered trying to avoid his gaze. You felt guilty for having shied
away from his intimacy, but he seemed to have understood and never pushed you
into doing anything. You permitted kissing and the small caresses he so
affectionately gave you, but you hadn’t the courage to go any further.
He slowly reached for your shoulders, you held onto the robe with all your
strength. He very gently pulled you into his arms, pressing you against his
chest, “why do you hide from me?”, he whispered into your hair.
“I can’t bear it. Don’t turn me away, the one who loves you the most in this
accursed world”, he kissed your ear and trailed his hands down your bare arms,
over the smathering of half moon scars left behind by fingernails. Your whole
body stiffened.
“I-I..I’m not..”, you whimpered against his chest. No, this wasn’t fair. You
weren’t being fair or rational. You were to be his wife and you couldn’t deny
him the pleasures of the marriage bed, he was a living being with needs. And
for so long he’s complied to giving you time and space to heal. You trusted him
more than you trusted yourself. But your body...
“I’m afraid”, you confessed.
“Of me?”, he asked with a hint of pain in his words.
You shook your head as you pulled back, still holding the robe to your chest.
“Tell me..show me, make me understand”, he said looking into your eyes.
You took a deep breath and let the robe slide down just above your breasts,
exposing your chest to him. His eyes travelled over the bared skin, once he had
inspected every inch that was made available to his eyes, he glanced back at
your face, “I don’t understand”.
Your cheeks burned as you were forced to voice your deepest fear, “I’m not
beautiful enough for you anymore”, you voice shook with emotion.
“Amralime...”, he breathed in disbelief, “you think your scars make you less
desirable to me?”, it was a rhetorical question but you found yourself nodding
while looking down at your feet.
“Nothing could make you less desirable in my eyes, my love. You are just as
beautiful as the day I fell in love with you, my desire for you still drives me
to the brink of madness”, his finger under your chin redirected your gaze at
him, “If you felt otherwise, then the fault is mine. Let me rectify it”. He
held your face between his hands and claimed your lips in a heated kiss, your
eyelids fluttered shut and your body laxed in bliss. He broke it just as you
felt your legs being to falter.
“Show me all of you”, his breath fanned your cheek, raising gooseflesh while
his husky tone stirred embers in your core you had thought had been put out
long ago.
You barely hesitated as you stepped back and let the robe fall off your body
onto the floor. Holding your arms by your sides you looked up at him. His eyes
ran down your body, following every curve, drinking your beauty in. Eyes full
of awe, he reached out to you. Your hand met his and guided him to your tummy,
your hand covered his and slid it up along your skin till the swell of your
breast stopped anymore movement. He shut his eyes, his breathing became uneven
and he leaned in to rest his forehead against yours.
Slight increase in force swept his hand over onto your breast, his breath
hitched in his throat. You waited for him to take command, but he didn’t move.
“Touch me Thorin”, you whispered.
He opened his eyes to find you looking expectantly at him. His fingers
contracted around your flesh, his warm skin enveloping your breast with
tenderness. A satisfied sigh left your parted lips.
He bent his head and kissed you, lightly suckling your lip while wrapping his
free arm around your waist, pulling you close once more. His hand trailed up
your spine and rested on the nape of your neck. He was enjoying your body and
you knew this for a fact when his arousal brushed against your thigh.
Thorin made this about you. He pleased you over and over again, and you
rediscovered the pleasure of being made love to. How good being touched by the
one you lost your heart to felt..it blurred the lines between heaven and earth.
You fell back against the bed, breathing hard but not yet fully sated. His taut
biceps rippled as he crawled up to you on the bed. You lazily pulled at his
pants, the only article of clothing left on his body - you wanted to free his
aching manhood. His hand grasped yours:
“No. Not today”, he pinned your arm down on the bed next to your head and
brought his mouth down on your neck, nibbling and sucking a path down down your
belly, you held your breath in anticipation. He placed a hot kiss just above
your opening. You raised your hips, offering yourself to him.
“Take me”, you begged, not once breaking eye contact.
“I don’t want to rush you. I think this is enough for today”.
“No. It’s alright, I need you”, your eyes plead with his cautious ones, a moan
bubbled in his throat. He couldn’t deny you when you were sprawled out on his
bed, flushed, wet and pleading so sweetly. He gave a barely noticeable nod - at
least you hoped it was a nod. He crawled on top of you and sat upright without
putting any weight on you.
Your hand reached for the laces of his pants, instead of untying them you slid
your hand down over the bulge that was straining against the fabric. You cupped
it and gave it a quick tight squeeze.
“Oh, Y/n..”, he groaned as his head fell back, black hair tumbling around his
shoulders, his body shaking, You gave it another fond caress to see his adam’s
apple rise and fall as he swallowed another moan. You knew it would be cruel to
tease him any longer, you pulled the laces undone and pushed his pants off his
hips. His length curved up against his belly, throbbing and begging for
attention. He looked down at your lustful eyes, the way you arched your back,
inviting him to claim you had him gritting his teeth to restrain himself from
ramming into you right then.
He took his time making sure you were comfortable and never rushed anything.
When he filled you, it was heavenly - you saw lights spotting behind your
eyelids, a loud moan amidst a string of gasps for air had Thorin seizing all
movement.
“Did I hurt you?”, he asked concerned.
You shook your head, “No, no. keep going..please”, your arms wrapped around his
neck, pulling him close to make him drive further into you.
“Don’t”, he growled, “I don’t want want to lose myself”. “Not going to hurt
you”, he grunted while fully sheathing himself in you at a maddeningly slow
pace.
“Let go”, you moaned in his ear, “I trust you. I am yours”. He didn’t
disappoint, he made love to you like he was taking you for the first time.
Thorin was gentle and careful but at the same time passionate. When he spilled
inside you, his growls and sinful cursing mixed with the warmth in your womb
sent your over the edge, clinging onto his strong body, trembling and crying
out to him.
He fell next to you, equally spent and exhausted. You cuddled next to him while
he kissed your damp forehead then hid his face in your hair.
“You can’t sleep”, you giggled, “You’re already late for work”. Thorin sighed
into your skin.
“I suppose I need a bath now, I don’t want to keep you waiting”, you said
sitting up, “I’ll come to the forges when I’m done”.
“Hmm”, Thorin pulled you back down onto the bed and kissed your lips.
===============================================================================
Thorin had left a while ago and you had just stepped out of the bathtub with a
smile on your lips and a spring in your step. Throwing on the outfit you had
picked out earlier, you sat in front of the mirror and dried your hair while
humming a tune. You could finally look at your reflection in the mirror without
feeling remorseful or uneasy.
You were just about to rebraid your hair when you heard something like a faint
knock on the front door. Thinking twice about ignoring it, you walked out of
the room and up to the front door to open it.
Your mouth fell agape and your eyes widened in disbelief when you saw who it
was.
“Roh!”, you gasped as he smiled bashfully.
“I wasn’t sure if this was the right house”, she fumbled for words.
Without a word you hugged her, “You got out”, you sighed in relief having often
wondered what had become of her.
“I did”, she smiled once you pulled back and invited her in.
“What are you doing here?”, you asked unable to think of a better question.
Roh was looking around in amazement and pure curiosity from her place on an
armchair, “Well, after we were freed, I stayed back with a few of the others to
confirm the events that took place in there”, she said with the cheerful spark
vanishing from her eyes.
“My parents died the night I was taken and do not remember any of my relatives.
I didn’t know where else to go”, she said meeting your gaze, “I waited out the
winter in the keep and I headed out a few days ago. I remembered one of the
rescuers saying that they were from a town South of here and figured they were
your friends. I didn’t exactly know how far south he meant but this is the
first town I happened upon. It didn’t take a lot of asking around to find your
house”, she grinned.
“I understand that Thorin, the prince you spoke of, was the one who lead the
attack”. you nodded, “Where is he now? I wish to thank him and offer him my
loyalty”.
“He will return in the evening”, you said brushing her comment off and turning
to more serious matters, “Do you have any money? A place to stay?”.
“The officials gave us a few gold coins for our cooperation, I hope it will
last me a while till I find some work”.
“You can stay here”, you offered.
“I appreciate the offer, but I cannot”
“You are a dear friend and the reason I am alive today, I insist”, you pressed.
“I do not wish to burden anyone, I think living on my own is the best way to
learn and experience the world I’ve missed out on”, she shrugged.
You wanted to changer her mind, but it was her choice and all you could do was
help her, “Is the world everything you hoped it would be?”, you asked gently.
“It’s a lot different from what I remember it to be - but then again I was very
young...it was so long ago”, she shook her head, “It’s beautiful. There’s
wonder and enchantment around every corner. My walk here was...unbelievable”,
she said her eyes sparkling again.
You laughed, “I understand the feeling of loving the outdoors more than the
indoors”. Her eyebrows shot up, “Oh, I do love your house. It is so
extravagant”, you wondered what she’d make of Erebor if she ever did see it.
“We could go outside, if you want”, you smirked.
“Yes?”, she sounded excited.
Seeing Roh wading in the wet grass, completely ignoring the path was like
watching Gimli having his first encounter with a windup toy. She bent down to
examine a ladybug on a tulip, quiet as a mouse she gently touched it with her
finger only to watch it fly away, startled.
Roh did a doubletake when she saw Bofur tip his hat to you as he walked down
the road, probably on business.
“That hat..I know you!”, she said a little too loudly. Bofur stopped and cocked
his head before his eyes widened in recognition. He walked up to the both of
you, “Lass, I’m glad to see you alright”. You put two and two together and
figured he was the one who told her to go south.
“What are you doing here?”, he echoed your question from before.
“She’s my friend. My only friend. I didn’t know where else to go”, Roh said
throwing you a glance.
He took his hat off and bowed, “Bofur, at your service”.
“Roh”, she lightly curtsied.
“Bofur”, you said suddenly, “is that job at the bakery still open?”.
“I suppose. I could drop by and inquire about it”, he said a little confused.
“She needs to work if she’s going to live here”, you explained.
“Y/n..I don’t know the first thing about baking..or cooking”.
“It’s simple lass, rule number one: don’t sweat into the dough while kneading
it”, Bofur said with a grin.
You threw him a horrified look, “That’s disgusting”. Roh snorted with laughter.
“Aye, I’ve seen it happen at the bakery behind ol’ Garhet’s house. It’s enough
to put you off bread”. Well, you no longer will be going there again.
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Avila and I will teach you before you apply for the
job. It shouldn’t take long”.
“If memory serves, it’s an apprenticeship”, Bofur said thoughtfully, “I’m
assuming that knowing the basics would be enough and there is no competition to
get into baking nowadays”.
Roh gave a confident nod.
“I’m headed that way now, you could come with me”, Bofur offered.
“Hm, I suppose I could”, she smiled, “Y/n? Care to join us?”.
You shook your head, “I’ll fetch Avila and set up the kitchen to teach you how
to bake when you get back”.
“I won’t be long”, she said following Bofur.
===============================================================================
You sat in the living room flipping through a book of recipes while Avila
instructed Roh in the kitchen.
“Roh...what on earth did you flavor the cake with? Taste this”, you heard
Avila’s shrill voice.
“Oh. I used..oh no, these bottles look exactly alike!”, Roh whined in her
defence.
“Vetch plant extract? Really now, didn’t you smell it when you poured it in?
You must have your wits about at all times in the kitchen, else you’d lose a
finger or set the whole house ablaze”, Avila lectured. You meant to throw the
vial of vetch plant extract out but it had slipped your mind so you felt that
you were to blame partially.
The two had gotten on well, but Avila didn’t take teaching anything lightly.
She strived for perfection. “Start over. This time try to keep from spilling
the batter everywhere”. You giggled at how bossy such a small dwarrowdam could
be.
The front door opened and Thorin stepped in bringing some of the evening air
with him. “You’re home early”, you smiled.
“I left early because you didn’t show up after saying you would. I was
worried”, he said looking mildly irritated.
“I’m sorry, but Roh showed up at our doorstep, I couldn’t just leave her”, you
explained. he was quiet for awhile, most likely trying to remember who Roh is.
“I was trying to get her ready for her job”.
“She’s staying?”, Thorin asked which surprised you - he usually didn’t give a
toss about people’s doings. “Her apprenticeship comes with room and board, yes
she’s staying in this town”.
He looked down at the book you held in your hands, “Do you think that’s wise?”,
you lowered your eyebrows.
“Wouldn’t she be a reminder of everything bad that happened?”, he asked
cautiously.
“No. She’ll remind me of the good that’s still in the world. The kindness”.
“I’m just thinking of you”, Thorin said apologetically.
“I know. I love that you care, but she’s alone in this world. You’ll like her”.
He sat next to you and took the book from your hands and flipped past pictures
of cakes and pastries, “What are you doing”, he asked curiously.
“Y/n, did you find the recipe for dragontail pastries?”, Avila called walking
into the the sitting room.
“Yes, but I didn’t find the recipe for gooseberry frosting though”.
“Well Thorin did”, she said holding her hand out for the book.
“Hm?”, Thorin was clearly not paying attention as he handed it to her.
“I thought that was icing”, you said confused.
Avila rolled her eyes, “It’s a stark difference Y/n”.
You threw your hands up in defeat, “I don’t care for either. I like my cakes to
be dressed in whipped cream”. Thorin gave a light chuckle. You lightly jabbed
him in his side when Avila turned to leave.
===============================================================================
It was almost a year later, Dis’ baby was due in two month and you had
travelled to Nogrod with Thorin and the rest. Why did everyone go? Because you
were getting married.
It wasn’t a huge celebration, it was for your close friends and to finally
unite as one. Thorin decided that he wanted to have it above ground in a field
in the valley and when he reclaimed Erebor, he wanted to give you a grander
celebration within the walls of his ancestors. A subject he’s been bringing up
quite a lot in the past few months. Whenever he did, you tried to keep the
conversations brief, the last thing you wanted was to have him running off on a
fool’s errand to fight a dragon. You were content with your life - you desired
no gems or gold. You had everything you’ve always wanted: your One.
Your guests surrounded you in a circle as you stood at two ends of the circle.
Like tradition demanded, you made your own gown. It was fashioned using off-
white lace and fell around your white silk kirtle. You wore a simple flower
crown made with peonies, daisies and sprigs. Thorin wore a royal blue tunic
with his house sigil embroidered on the back, he had a section of his hair tied
back away from his face and it lit up his grinning face.
Balin stood in front of you ready to begin the ceremony, as you didn’t have a
father he had offered to do it. It was a beautiful day to get married; the
trees were at their greenest, the flowers were in full bloom and birds chirped
around you while the occasional butterfly fluttered past you.
Balin began to recite the zarb and once he finished, you both met at the center
of the circle and Thorin circled you and your guests cheered at his promise to
protect you in his halls.
“Thorin, do you accept Y/n in your halls and do you promise to guard and love
her for the rest of your life?”, Balin asked. Thorin knelt and accepted. He
stood and took your hands in his and you two recite the seven blessings before
moving on to the vows.
“Ni dûmê zasamkhihiya zahar, ni kurduzi zâmkhihi azhâr. (In my Halls you will
find a house, in your heart I will find a home.)”, Thorin said fondly.
“Ni dûmzu zâmkhihi zahar, ni kurdumê zasamkhihi azhâr. (In your Halls I will
find a house, in my heart you will find a home.)”, you replied a light blush
reaching your cheeks.
Balin handed Thorin the ring you had worn for so long; his mother’s ring. The
band had etchings claiming to belong to the Durin’s folk so now you were truly
a Durin when he slid it up your finger. Next you take the simple gold band from
Balin and slip it onto Thorin’s finger, it must be void of any of your house’s
marking to symbolize that you leave everything behind to be accepted into his
clan.
You undid the courting braid in his hair and instead braided the locks of hair
on either side of his head just over his ears. He put two in places you
couldn’t reach - so only he could braid them.Once you downed the pint of
“marriage-ale”, the ceremony was complete and the people cheered, throwing
flowers at the happy newlyweds.
Usually, the ceremony is followed by a seven day long feast but you had to cut
it short to a day. The day was spent in much joy and happiness. Much
merrymaking happened: dancing, drinking and eating in copious amounts was
something dwarves instinctively knew how to do - and do it well they did.
You rested your feet while sitting next to Dis and watching the others dance
and chatter drunkenly. Tapping your feet to the beat of the music you threw
Thorin a smile as a dwarf clapped him on his back. He grinned from ear to ear,
you rarely see him exhibit such emotion so carefreely, he even accepted Avila’s
offer to dance and you watched him spin her around and dance lively.
Roh walked over to the both of you and presented a generous piece of cake,
“Whipped cream, no frosting or icing”, she smiled. You accepted with a laugh,
“My thanks”. She had grown into a great baker and offered to do most of the
baking for your wedding.
“You shouldn’t enable me”, Dis whined, “I’ve almost had two whole cakes
already. Not to mention the pastries and..dear god, I ate a whole leg of boar”,
she groaned between mouthfuls of cake. “It was only one leg”, Roh comforted.
“It was the size of my head”, Dis cried. You smiled in sympathy, “Don’t be so
hard on yourself, you’re pregnant...you’re allowed to eat”.
“This is not the baby”, she said running a hand over a tummy, “this is fat”,
she said sadly.
“Nonsense”, Turil said coming up behind her, “You’re beautiful”, he said
kissing her. Dis wrinkled her nose, “And you’re drunk”.
“That, I am, milady”, he slurred, “But that doesn’t make you any less
alluring”, he plopped a sloppy kiss on her neck. “Care to dance?”, he asked.
“No. I’m supposed to stay off my feet for the most part. Y/n, are you going to
finish that cake?”, you didn’t get to reply when Dis screamed. Turil was
carrying her in his arms and was swaying gently to the music, “Put me down you
clod! You’re gonna kill us three”. Turil laughed, “There’s no way I will drop
you”.
Dis sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder, “You look a damn fool”, she
said it lovingly.
“We look like damn fools”, he grinned.
“You look like you’re envious, my love”, you jumped when you realised Thorin
was standing right next to you. “Would you like me to carry you as well?”, he
asked kneeling down on one knee, he smiled sweetly at you.
You smirked, “You can carry me back to our room later”.
He hummed under his breath which sounded like a growl, “I look forward to it”.
===============================================================================
A month and a half later you were in Dis’ room, holding her hand while her
screams split through the night. A midwife and two healers were summoned to and
they were hard at work; burning herbs, making her drink things and tracking her
contractions. You were there for moral support while Turil paced the halls
outside in quite a state. Thorin had to go back to the town to resume work at
the forge but he would be sent for soon.
“You’re doing so well, DIs”, you praised while dabbing her sweaty forehead with
a wet washcloth.
“I’m going to die!”, she whimpered after releasing a guttural screech. “Hush
now, you are not! That’s not what the Dis I know would say”.
“That’s because the last contraction killed her”, you cringed as she yelled a
curse involving the bumhole of a goat.
“He’s never spilling in me again!”, she barked in anger while clutching your
hand.
“My lady, you have to push now”, the midwife said from between Dis’ legs.
And after thirteen hours of labor, she pushed the little bundle of joy out in
less than half an hour. The cries of the new baby were heard echoing down the
halls of the house.
The midwife handed you the baby wrapped in a soft piece of cloth, you swallowed
the knot in your throat and quickly handed the baby to the very eager mother.
“It’s a boy”, the midwife said.
“Oh!”, Dis cooed over him, holding him delicately. “He’s perfect”.
Turil pushed the doors open and when his eyes fell on the baby, he breathed a
sigh of relief before hurrying over to the bedside.
“Meet our son”, Dis smiled.
“Son? I knew it’d be a son”, he grinned running a hand over the wee baby’s tuft
of blond hair, “He’s perfect”.
“That’s what I said”, Dis said sniffling.
“Well, we don’t have a name for him”, Turil said gazing in awe at him.
“Y/n..”, you were startled out of your little daydream about having a little
one of your own.
“Remember when we were still in Erebor, I asked you what you’d name your son?”,
Dis smiled softly.
“You remember that?”, you asked surprised.
“Of course. You said you’d name him Fili. May I name him that? He looks so much
like a Fili”.
You felt a little tug on your heartstrings. When you were pregnant you knew the
chances of having a boy were a lot higher than having a girl, so you were set
on naming him Fili. But once you lost him, you couldn’t name your next child
that; even if he never lived, he will always have a place in your heart. Dis
wanting to name her baby Fili was different from you naming another one of your
children that. This was he would be out in the world, a little part of him at
least.
“I would be honored Dis”.
Chapter End Notes
     I got the wedding customs from the Dwarrow Scholar.
     And your scars are beautiful - physical or emotional. Embrace them
     because you're beautiful nonetheless. :) <3
     Much love you guys <3
***** Bittersweet *****
Chapter Notes
     I’m sorry, I know this is long overdue..I’m not the best blogger or
     the best multitasker. I hope you enjoy the last chapter and find it
     in your heart to forgive me XD Also this is one heck of a long
     chapter.
"Fili!”, you cried chasing after the little dwarfling, “If you don’t get back
here right now, I’m going to tell your Amad!”. A mischievous laugh bubbled out
of Fili as he dodged your dive for him.
“Y/N!”, Thorin thundered when he stepped into the room and saw you running
about. You froze in your tracks.
“How many times have I told you to rest”, he upbraided angrily while stomping
across the room over to you, “You shouldn’t tire yourself”, he gently pushed
you on to an armchair.
“I’m not tired”, you said trying to steady your labored breath, “besides, you
scaring me isn’t going to help me rest either”, you smirked.
“I wouldn’t have to if you’d just do what I ask you to”, he grumbled.
You sighed in defeat, “Fili refuses to take his medicine”, a soft giggle was
heard from under a table. Fili tried to make a break for his room. He had to
run past you when he was scooped up by Thorin.
“I’ll have none of that”, Thorin said while grabbing the spoonful of fish oil
and stuck it in Fili’s mouth. “If you are to be a good warrior, you must grow
strong”, Thorin smirked at Fili’s scrunched up face before setting him down on
your lap.
You wrapped your arms around the little darling and brought him as close to you
as your swollen tummy would allow. “Aunt Y/n! Let’s go outside”, he said
smacking his lips to rid it of the awful taste.
“I said if you behaved and drank your medicine, we could go outside. You didn’t
behave now did you?”, you asked raising an eyebrow.
“No”, Fili said quietly while Thorin ducked into the kitchen. Fili reached up
and touched your cheek, “I don’t like how it tastes. It’s difficult to be good
when it tastes so awful”, he said looking regretful. You stifled a laugh as you
cradled him in your arms and placed him on the floor before standing up
yourself.
“Come on”, you held your hand out to him, “Let’s go down to the sea”.
He squealed in delight as he dragged reached for your hand.
“Fili, drink this”, Thorin handed a cup to the little lad, “Orange juice”.
Fili thankfully gulped it down to drown out the aftertaste of the medicine.
“Come with us? We’re going to the beach by my old house”, you said cheerfully.
“Is that wise? You shouldn’t be walking long distances”.
“The baby isn’t due for two whole years and it’s a peaceful walk. Besides, I
promised Fili a trip to the beach when he got here”, you said making puppy dog
eyes at your husband.
“Pwease, uncle?”, Fili joined you.
Thorin scowled at his boots before sighing, “I suppose it’s alright if you take
a few breaks”. Your face lit up at the thought of a walk after being stuck
inside for so long. Ever since you told him that you were pregnant, he had gone
to great pains to make sure you stayed off your feet as much as possible and
indoors. He made you comfortable, he brought you books, art supplies and
flowers regularly. He even cooked for you. Despite your protests, he pampered
you to extremes. His efforts weren’t unwelcome of course, but you were
perfectly capable of walking down the road without hurting the baby. The only
thing he permitted to do was some of the light work at Oin’s apothecary where
you worked. You spent some of the time harvesting plants and mixing ingredients
for his experiments.
You walked in silence for awhile, just admiring the town and then the
tranquility as the houses thinned out indicating the outskirts.
Fili skipped along ahead while you intertwined your fingers in Thorin’s and
followed.
“Fili, slow down”, Thorin warned and the little one obeyed by stopping at a
rotting log and inspecting it while you caught up.
“It’s been so long since we went for a stroll together”, you mused watching the
the wind ruffle the tall grass on either side of the winding path.
“That’s because you’re safer in the house”, Thorin stated plainly.
“Are you saying I’m not safe out here with you by my side?”, you asked
teasingly.
“No”, he said slowly while trying not to preen too much. You laughed and placed
a quick kiss on his shoulder.
“How did Fili’s lessons go yesterday? I quite forgot to ask”, you said looking
fondly at the pouncing blond head before you.
“He has Durin blood in him, that much is certain”, he smirked, “He took a
shining to all sorts of weapons”.
“Weapons Thorin?!”, you cried in horror, “He’s only a wee lad! Barely twenty
one”.
“I didn’t let him play with them”, he said defensively, “I showed him the types
of weapons he could learn to wield one day but we stuck to sparring with the
wooden swords”.
“Is that the..sea?”, Fili called over the sound of the crashing waves. He came
to a halt as if he was afraid of the object of his anticipation. It was
understandable, many dwarves don’t encounter the sea in their lives, mostly
because they didn’t sail west and they dwelt underground and fished in streams.
Had you not left Erebor, you yourself wouldn’t have seen it either.
“See? I didn’t need to take a break”, you said smugly. Thorin merely grunted
without bringing up the fact that you had taken double the usual time it takes
to get here.
“Well come on then”, Thorin said hoisting Fili on to his shoulders and walking
towards the beach. You glanced at your old house in the distance which was now
inhabited by a newly wed couple from the Grey Mountains. Although you cherished
the memories you had made there, you cannot say you missed it.
Fili held on to Thorin’s braids and looked on in awe at the stretch of sea that
glittered under the rays of the evening sun. The sea was calm today and the
gentle waves licked the golden sands as it brought with it the smell of salt
and a gentle breeze. Thorin kicked off his boots near a boulder and discarded
Fili’s too before venturing in towards the water. He lifted Fili off his
shoulders and held him just over the waves.
Fili’s gaze was transfixed on the rolling waters. Curiously he stuck his tiny
foot out and dipped it into the cold water letting out a happy gasp. Thorin let
him stand on his own all the while holding on to his hand. Fili grew bolder by
the second and pretty soon he was comfortable playing in the waves as if it
were his bathtub back at home. Picking up your skirts you waded in the water
next to your husband.
The water was pleasantly cold against your skin and the sand soft under your
feet.
“Good riddance”, Thorin mumbled under his breath.
“Huh?”, you asked looking away from the waves and searching his face. He was
looking off into the distance at what you could make out to be an elven ship
probably from the port at the edge of the Grey Havens.
You half smiled and gave him a slight jab in his bicep.
“Aren’t you at least a little envious?”, you asked watching the white ship
growing smaller by the second. Your question was met by a bewildered look,
“Envious? Of them?”.
You graciously took the pale pink seashell Fili handed you before rushing to
explain, “I mean, they get to live forever in a magical place - happily and
with the Valar. Aren’t you curious as to what it’s like? They know their
afterlife..do we?”.
“Not too far, Fili”, he called out. “I would hope it’s next to you, far, far
away from those pixies”. Thorin was never the sort of person to worry too much
about the afterlife.
“Or maybe the pixies are right and our souls will turn to stone from which we
were made”, you sounded very pessimistic.
“I bet they’d love that”, he curled the corner of his lips into a wry smile,
“Y/n, you shouldn’t trouble yourself with such things. I have never seen any
dead dwarf turning into stone in all my life - and I’ve seen many dwarves die”,
he wrapped an arm around you and kissed the top of your braids. As morbid the
truth sounded, you knew he was right.
“I was thinking..”, Fili said, his feet made soft “plops” on the wet sand as he
walked over to the two of you, “Is Amad dying?”. You tried to mask the
horrified look on your face while Thorin shifted uncomfortably.
“Y/n, you take this”, he mumbled under his breath before stepping away. You
lowered your eyebrows at him and picked Fili up.
You never thought to ask Dis about how much he knew because you would naturally
expect him to be informed. Beginning your walk to the boulder where you
discarded your shoes you explained slowly, “No, my sweet darling, your Amad is
fine”, you sat him down and dusted the sand off his feet and reached for his
tiny boots.
“Remember when we talked about your new baby brother or sister you’ll be having
soon?”, you didn’t know where to begin.
“Yeah?”, his face lit up.
“Well..where do you think little dwarflings come from?”.
His face scrunched up as he thought hard, “Hmm..Adad told me that Mahal makes
babies from stone. Amad told me my brother or sister is in her belly and that
they’d come out when they’re grown and ready”, you thanked Aule that he was
told something.
“So..”, his brow was set firmly while he tried to put two and two together, “So
Amad ate a baby rock and just like food..she’s going to poop it out?”, he
looked pleased as he looked at you expectantly to verify his theory.
You heard Thorin stifle a chuckle a few feet away from the two of you. You took
a deep breath, “Well..not quite. There’s a special place in the body where
babies come from. Everything else is right though”, you nodded not wanting to
get into the subject of sex - better leave that for Dis and Turil.
“Your Amad needs time alone to bring the baby to this world..and that’s what
she’s doing now”, you smoothed his blond cowlicks.
“But she looked so pale when I left. Why can’t I be with her? Is it difficult
to bring babies to life?”. You felt like you were walking on eggshells. Dis had
some complications and had begun bleeding 5 weeks before the due date. Turil
had been away on a quick business trip and he was sent for at once and Fili had
been brought over the moment that things seemed to get out of hand. Fili needed
to be looked after and he couldn't be in a house with so much tension and
panic.
Word was sent the following week that Dis was confined to her chambers but the
bleeding has stopped and the baby was still moving and well. There was also a
note about Turil being ambushed by orcs on the way back but he managed to
escape with a few scratches.
“I promise you, Fili, your mother is going to be perfectly fine.She needs you
to stay here because...your uncle is very lonely and you’d be doing your Amad a
great favor by being here”. His eyes flickered over to Thorin who gave him a
slight nod then his eyes sparked alive again, “Will I get to see my little
brother or sister soon?”.
“Very soon. In fact, we might have a raven from Nogrod when we get home”, you
took his little hand and lead him towards the path back while Thorin followed
leisurely.
===============================================================================
Roh was sitting on the steps to the house when you arrived back just as the sun
set on the valley.
“A raven flew in for you”, she said handing you a rolled piece of parchment
with Turil’s seal on it. “Go on inside Fili”, you said nudging him gently.
You flashed her a smile as you handed it to Thorin who had fallen behind to
talk to Bofur. His face was somber as he unrolled the letter. No doubt that
Bofur had brought him whispers of his father’s whereabouts. Thorin had stopped
going away on these wild goose chases when you got pregnant and it was plain
that it was eating him alive - he needed to find his father and be there for
him - but you needed him too and he couldn’t risk leaving you.
You cocked your head at Roh who was fiddling with the end of her braid and
smiling down at her feet.
“It’s a boy. We are invited to the christening”, Thorin said monotonously, “We
should take Fili back tomorrow”. He walked past you into the house. You were
elated at the news and you knew he was too, but he had much on his mind. Amidst
your happiness a sigh escaped you.
“So Y/n!”, Bofur clapped your back and you jumped a little, “Did Roh tell you
the good news?”, he grinned widely at the two of you while Roh blushed
profusely.
You looked between the two of them, “Noo..?”, you supplied slowly, your eyes
searched her face till your eyes landed on something glittering in her braids.
A new bead. A new braid.
You gasped. Your eyes darted between the two of them lightning fast,
“You..wha..how?”, your eyebrows shot up.
“He was very patient”, Roh smiled shyly. You bet he was because after the life
Roh had, it couldn’t have been easy to gain her trust.
“You have to tell me everything”, you grinned.
===============================================================================
You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.
“How bad is it?” you asked in a hushed voice. Your heart thudded in your chest
and your face felt numb.
You had just arrived in Nogrod just as twilight turned into a moonless night.
And as you stepped into Dis’ house, you were pulled aside by a healer and a
dwarrowdam who was later introduced as Turil’s mother.
“We fear for his life”, she trembled. You looked over shoulder to see Thorin
and Fili being lead away, most likely to Dis’ room.
“Does Dis know?”, you asked.
“Heavens no!”, Turil’s mother cried, “The lass is still recovering from the
horrors of labor, she doesn't need this right now”.
“Lady Y/n, we have tried everything but nothing seems to be helping. Maybe you
could do something..”, you nodded even though you couldn’t see how you could
fix this if the more experienced healers couldn’t. Steadying your nerves, you
followed them into a room in the far corner of the corridor. The air felt heavy
and it smelt like burning herbs mixed with bodily fluids. Not a lot of light
was let in through the drapes that covered the windows and the fire that burned
in the hearth just added to the ominous atmosphere. Two healers stood by
Turil’s motionless body on the large bed. As you approached you noticed his
sweat dampened skin, shallow, raspy breathing and pale complexion.
You gently pulled back the covers to reveal his bandaged abdomen that was
begging to take on blood like the white sheets below him. You held back your
emotions as best as you could because you couldn’t let them get in the way of
saving him.
“We have to change the wrapping every few hours, the bleeding won’t stop”, one
of the healers said dishearteningly.
“Mahal just take him if you must and stop his suffering", his mother collapsed
into a chair and began to sob silently.
“We suspect some sort of poison we haven’t encountered before”, said the other
healer.
You scavenged your brain for answers while asking to be directed to their
herbs.
===============================================================================
Leaning against the wall, you found your shaky voice, “I need to see Thorin”.
The healer gave a slight nod and hurried off while you slowly shrank to the
floor. You must looks a fright. The front of your dress was stained with blood,
so were your hands and your hair was disheveled. But it didn’t matter. You had
spent the rest of the night pouring various medication down Turil’s throat and
applying a variety of healing techniques on his gaping wound. And in the wee
hours of daybreak, after choking up blood, he had bled to death.
You heard heavy footsteps thudding down the corridor and just as he turned, a
look of relief washed over Thorin’s face. “Y/n..”, he took long strides to
close the distance between the two of you.
“I was looking for you the whole night, no one would tell me where you were or
why everyone was acting strange”.
“What happened? Why are you covered in blood? Are you hurt?”, he looked angry,
concerned and worried.
“N-no” you said with your face crumpling up in grief. You couldn’t help crying,
“hold me”, you sobbed. And as usual, without question, that’s just what Thorin
did.
===============================================================================
It was decided that Thorin and Turil’s mother would tell Dis about the death of
her husband.
You stood outside with Fili who you sensed knew something was wrong. You had
changed your clothes and washed enough to look presentable to the little
dwarfling. He grasped at your skirts nervously all the while eyeing the door to
his mother’s chambers intently.
You cleared your parched throat and tried to distract him, “Do you like your
new brother?”.
His innocent face lit up in an immediate smile, “Yes, he is very friendly..I
really like him. Even though he doesn’t have a lot of hair. He’ll grow to have
a lot”.
“You must look after him”, you said stilling your voice, “No matter what
happened, you’ll always have each other to count on because you are family”.
You held on to the startled child as a heartbroken shriek split through the
house.
“Amad?”.
===============================================================================
Years slipped by.
Happiness returned to your family once more. You had given birth to a healthy
baby girl, Ilia, whom Thorin had named after his mother. She was growing more
beautiful and brighter each day and the days of joy she brought your home were
unlike anything you and Thorin had experienced before. Her father loved her
above all and she was his sparkling blue eyed treasure.
She was stubborn as her father and knew to stick her bottom lip out so prettily
to get her way. With her blonde curls and rosy pink lips and cheeks, she
reminded you of your sister, Iari .
Everything was fine. You were happy. Your family was happy.
Over the years you had noticed an increase in Thorin’s “work related” journeys
to the East. He was a dwarven weapon-smith and it was understandable that
people from other realms would want his crafts, but you were his wife and you
knew he was looking for his father.
But one day he returned looking like his mind was still far away in whatever
land he came back from. You had just finished cleaning up the dinner table and
getting Ilia ready for bed. She was drawing on a pad of paper while you folded
up some laundry when he walked in through the front door.
“Adad!”, Ilia squealed abandoning her art and rushing into her father’s arms.
He never failed to give her all the love he could, he showered her with kisses
before carrying her over to you to give you a loving kiss and a one handed hug.
“I missed you”, he mumbled into your hair, “I missed you both”, he laughed
kissing Ilia again.
You smiled back, “Any troubles on the way?”, you asked referring to the earlier
look on his face.
“No”, he said shortly and sat Ilia down on the couch as he took the thick fur
mantle off his shoulders.
“Were you alright here?”, he asked after a brief pause.
“Yes. Aside from Ilia’s little fight with the Stonefoot boys..”, you threw her
a look as she buried her face in Thorin’s tunic.
“Is that so?”, he looked down fondly at her and tousled her golden ringlets,
“Now what’s this fighting business about lass?”.
She mumbled something incomprehensible into his tunic.
“That’s the third time you had gotten into a fight this month, Ilia”, you said
gently before setting the finished laundry basket on the floor.
You weren’t angry at her, it was natural for young dwarflings to have a go at
each other, especially if they had Thorin’s temperament. But she has been
getting hurt and too frequently.
“They make fun of me”, she said more audibly.
“Why?”, Thorin’s voice dipped a few octaves lower.
She didn’t look up when her tiny frame heaved a sigh and replied “They say I’m
the reason they don’t have a home anymore”.
“Hogwash!”, you sputtered out in rage.
Thorin’s face turned red, “Lass..”, he lifted her up in his arms and searched
her teary little face.
A series of sobs was followed by, “I’m not, am I?”.
“No, of course not.”, he said firmly.
“I’m going to have a talk with their parents tomorrow”, you said calmly, “They
ought to know what kind of brats they’re raising”..
“You are in no way responsible for any of heir misfortunes”, he wiped her
cheeks dry and started walking to her room, “It’s way past your bedtime”.
“Goodnight, Amad”, she mumbled.
“Goodnight, my precious star”, you replied affectionately.
Children can be such bullies you fumed as you picked up Thorin’s discarded
mantle and put it away. You knew people respected Thorin and didn’t blame him
for what happened, but sometimes they get frustrated with things and wish they
were still living the days of old. And lately there has been talk of Thorin’s
right to Erebor and that he should fight for it. You had ignored them and
rarely discussed Erebor with Thorin. You didn’t want to encourage him and send
him on some meaningless quest that could very well get him killed.
You finished a few more chores waiting for Thorin to come back. Finishing the
sweeping, you began to scrub some of the pots and pans that you had left to
soak.
“She’s asleep”, he said returning to the kitchen. You smiled over your
shoulder, “Thank you”.
He flopped down at the table and lifted his feet on to the chair next to him
then lit his pipe. That’s when you knew for certain that something was
definitely wrong; you disapproved of smoking in the house and boots on
furniture.
You continued scrubbing the pot in your hands as you non convincingly said, “No
smoking in the house, love”.
He blew out a cloud of smoke, brought his feet to the ground and leaned forward
without putting his pipe out.
“Y/n..I was at Bree”.
He rarely told you the specifics of his trips, because it would just bore
you..or that’s what he said at least.
“Oh? That’s nice. Did y-”
“You see what they say don’t you?”, he burst out and the pot almost slipped out
of your hands, “They ridicule her”.
You didn’t say anything for a while.
“The Stonefoots aren’t even from Erebor, they have nothing to complain about”,
you voiced your thoughts out loud.
“I have a duty to these people. As long as I am idle I am not being the King
they deserve”.
You didn’t like where this conversation was going.
“What happened in Bree?”, you asked quietly.
You could hear him blowing out another cloud of smoke as you glared at the pot
in your hands with your back to him.
“I met Gandalf”, his eyes flickered over to your very tense form, “He gave me
the key to Erebor...Y/n..there is another way in”. You scrubbed the pristine
pot furiously.
“We need to take back our home..there are darker forces with worse intentions
than Smaug who may take it”.
You had heard enough, throwing the dish rag down in anger, “So what now? You’re
gonna walk into the mountain and ask Smaug to leave?! With what army? Thorin,
you have a daughter..a family”, your voice shook, “you have me”.
“Y/n..”
“You can’t just leave”.
He rose to his feet, setting his pipe down he walked over to you and gently
pulled you to his chest.
“Amralime, I am doing this for you. I want you and Ilia to have a better
life..”
“But we are happy. Aren’t you?”, you cried.
“I’m happy if you’re next to me. But I can’t let my kingdom be forgotten or let
it fall into the wrong hands. My love..please understand..”, he said into your
hair all the while kissing your braids.
You pulled back all of a sudden, furious and frustrated. How can he be so
selfish? Squirming out of his grasp you stormed out of the kitchen and into
your room before slamming the door shut.
A pained sigh left Thorin’s lips.
===============================================================================
Gandalf sent word that Thorin and whoever he decided to travel with should meet
with him in some house in the Shire in two weeks time.
Thorin had gathered his best men and trusted companions and would journey to
the North before he would join the others in the Shire. He had arranged for the
clans to meet and decide on a strategy to take back the mountain.
The days of the week went by frighteningly fast.
In those days you barely spoke to Thorin and kept intimacy to a minimum. You
couldn’t bare to speak to him or endure his touch without feeling like your
heart will stop in your chest from the searing pain it brought. You wanted to
make the last days memorable but you couldn’t bring yourself to be happy..how
could you when he was most likely walking into is doom.
Explaining what was happening to Ilia was not as difficult as you had
anticipated. She knew very little about life before the fall of Erebor except
for her lineage and she knew her father had to leave on journeys sometimes but
this time it would be a little longer.
It was the last night Thorin would spend at the house before he sets off on his
quest in the morning. Like the nights after the night he had spoken to you
about his plans to reclaim Erebor, you lay on the bed you shared with Thorin,
alone and with tears in your eyes. Thorin was under the impression that you
didn’t want him next to you and that was probably for the best.
You didn’t want the sun to rise in the morning, you didn’t want to watch him
leave. Pressing your face into your pillow you let out a series of hushed sobs.
The door creaked open and you tried to regain your composure without moving a
muscle. You heard the door slide shut and feet approach the bed. You squeezed
your eyes shut, not wanting to turn around. The bed dipped with Thorin’s weight
as he sat down.
“Y/n?”
You were too stubborn to reply.
“Y/n, please..I don’t want to leave us like this..”, his broken voice said much
more than his words did. “I couldn’t possibly survive this without your
blessing..just let me lay next to you tonight?”, he sounded content to do just
that and you couldn’t refuse him.
He took your silence as permission - he knew your body language too well. He
laid down next to you and pulled the covers over him. You could feel his warmth
just a few inches away from your skin and it drove you nearly to the brink of
madness. You felt his soft breathing fall on the back of your exposed neck and
you found yourself wanting to turn around and hug him. But you didn’t.
“You looked beautiful today. Just like everyday”, he propped himself up on one
elbow and gazed down at your still body and tried to remember every detail.
Just as he noticed the marriage braid coming undone, he involuntarily reached
out to redo it. You jumped a little in surprise.
“I’m sorry..”, he said a little hurt.
You shook your head and beckoned him to continue. You relaxed into his touch
and let him finish. Oh, how you’ll miss him.
He laid back down and tucked a few locks behind your ear, “I love you so much,
Y/n. I hope you won’t forget that”.
He kissed the back of your head, “I’ll find my way back to you”.
His words somehow settled your mind long enough for you to stop being anxious
and try to focus on being next to him. You watched the embers flicker on the
hearth opposite the bed as you let your mind wander between dreams and reality.
===============================================================================
You jolted upright on your bed.
It was early morning and the Thorin was no longer next to you. Your anger and
stubbornness vanished suddenly and left ashes in your mouth. How could you have
been so cruel? You were the truly selfish one. Sprinting out of the bedroom you
noticed his bedroll was gone and after checking on your sleeping daughter you
locked the front door and ran down the path in your nightclothes.
Maybe you weren’t too late. Maybe you could still catch him. You needed to tell
him to be safe..and that you loved him. Your bare feet threatened to slip under
the dewy grass and your skin felt the nip of the cold morning air, but you
couldn’t care less. You must right this before he left.
The house that was coming up was Avila’s and you would have gone right past it
if you hadn’t noticed Thorin’s pony who was tied to a post and nearly covered
by low lying shrubbery.
Thorin was just stepping out when he noticed you. Your heart leaped for joy. He
looked concerned when he hurried down the steps and took a few steps forward.
You ran at him and threw your arms around his neck and wrapped your legs around
his hips. He grunted a little and quickly held you close to his chest.
“I love you too, Thorin Oakenshield”, that was the first time you had used that
name - it was given to him after the battle of Azanulbizar. You cupped his face
in your hands and placed impatient kisses all over.
He laughed in surprise, “You came...my most treasured treasure”.
He steadied your face with one hand and caught your lips in a sweet, passionate
kiss. You felt his sadness at the thought of leaving and his immense happiness
that he got to say goodbye and hold you.
His thumb ran down your spine over the thin fabric of the nightdress and rested
on your hip. You lost yourself in his embrace and memorized how his touch feels
and how delicious his kisses are.
“Goodness! Y/n..what are you doing here in your underclothes?”, Avila’s voice
came from behind Thorin.
Bofur chuckled joining her with Roh and Gloin behind him, “Came to steal one
last kiss, Y/n?”. You blushed as you slid off Thorin and fixed your short dress
around you.
Avila and Roh looked like they had been crying - quite understandable as their
husbands were leaving too. “Thorin, we’ll be getting a head start and I hope
you have success with the meeting of the clans”, Bofur said clapping him on the
back.
“Travel safe”, he retorted.
Avila draped a quilt around you to stop your shaking and left with Roh to bid
their partners goodbye. You bowed and gave them your blessings before turning
to Thorin.
You placed your hands in his and really looked at him.
He was no longer the boy prince from the palace. The hard years of wisdom
showed on his face; a few streaks of grey hair framed his still beautiful face.
Tiny crows feet spread out from the corners of his eyes and still his eyes
burned strong like a young lad’s. He was now the King he was destined to be.
“Âkminrûk zu..(Thank you)”, you said resting your forehead against his.
“For what ‘ibin abnâmul (golden treasure)?”, he smiled.
“For giving me the best years of my life. For making me happier than I ever
dreamed I could be”.
He brushed his lips against yours, “I believe the pleasure was all mine”.
“Be safe..”, you kissed his knuckles, “Mahal watches over you, my King. You are
strong enough to overcome anything.”. He smiled in gratitude.
“And watch out for Fili and Kili”, you added. It was unfathomable how your two
teenage rascal nephews managed to convince Dis to let them go.
“ I will..and I’ll be back soon to take you home”, he promised. With one last
kiss he hesitantly untangled himself from you and mounted his pony.
Taking one last look at you he bowed his head and kicked his pony into a
gallop. You watched his figure grow smaller in the distance as you were joined
by Roh and Avila.
Avila rested a hand on your shoulder sympathetically. There you were. Three
wives of three Durin warriors left to pray for their lives.
“Well..I’ll put the kettle on”, Avila said trying not to sound so exhausted and
lighten the mood.
Roh followed her in and you stood there on the steps for a while longer.
Pulling the quilt tighter around you, you felt odd. You couldn’t explain
it..maybe you just feared for him, which was quite normal..or maybe you missed
him already.
You only prayed that he would return to you, safe and unharmed. But how could
you know the future..
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