Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1741658.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Castiel/Dean_Winchester
  Character:
      Castiel, Dean_Winchester, Sam_Winchester, Anna_Milton
  Additional Tags:
      Teacher-Student_Relationship, Teacher_Castiel, Student_Dean, Love
      Letters, Anonymous_Love_Letters, Alternate_Universe, Alternate_Universe_-
      High_School, Kinda, dean_is_in_high_school, But_Cas_is_the_teacher,
      Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
  Series:
      Part 3 of ♦_30_Day_Cheesy_Tropes_Challenge
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-06-04 Words: 3033
****** ♦ Secret ******
by EvelynLawliet
Summary
     Prompt 3: Anonymous Love Letters
     Castiel’s heart fell. Some part of him had been hoping it would be
     Dean who was writing those notes, but they had spent the whole
     afternoon together, and the boy had never left his sight for even a
     second. Smiling sadly at the paper, he put it along with the others
     inside his suitcase, wondering why he even kept them. Perhaps to know
     that at least somebody liked it when he looked at them.
Notes
     Yes, I do know I cheated a little bit with the letters in the
     beginning, since they were more like notes, but I thought it was cute
     to start like that. :3 Anyway, I don't have much to say about this
     one, so I'll tell that the title is from the Vocaloid song Secret. XD
     Hope you all like it! c:
See the end of the work for more notes
You’re stupid.
That was what read in the note Castiel found in his locker at teacher’s room
when it first started. The professor had frowned at the note, wondering who
could have possibly written such a thing about him. It was insulting, to say
the least, and, to be honest with himself, he actually felt kind of down the
rest of the day.
No, I mean it; you’re so stupid it hurts.
Tuesday came along, and the next note was there. Castiel had thought the day
before that it was a onetime thing, but now he was sure that someone wanted to
piss him off. Sighing, he brushed it off as one of the students trying to play
a prank on him. It wouldn’t be the first time, and in the school he worked it
wasn’t exactly unheard of. Even if their director was very strict, almost no
one paid attention to his warnings.
Just as Castiel was leaving the teacher’s room, a student stopped to ask him
about the grade to a test, and the professor explained, for what felt like the
thousandth time that week, that he would pin a sheet of paper with all the
grades on the information board that Friday. He noticed with the corner of his
eye some movement behind him, but didn’t pay much attention to it and moved on
to his classes.
Looking at your stupid hair hurts, too. Why do you use it like that? Didn’t
anybody tell you it’s against the rules to have sex hair?
And again there it was. This time, it was at the end of the day that he found
it. After reading the note three times, Castiel still couldn’t understand what
its purpose was. At first he had thought it was meant to harm him, but now he
wasn’t so sure anymore. Who would tell him he had sex hair – something he had
for years tried to fix – to insult him? It didn’t seem likely.
Still, he didn’t have much time to think about it, since a senior student of
his, Dean Winchester, had scheduled a meeting with him to talk about the new
book they would be reading in class. Castiel was a literature professor, and
for that semester he had chosen Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, much to his
students’ complaints.
Apparently, Dean was having trouble understanding the book and, even if Castiel
couldn’t see how that was possible considering that Dean was one of his best
students, the professor had promptly offered his help. He liked Dean – a lot
more than he should in a teacher/student relationship – and so staying after
hours was nothing that would ruin his day or so.
“Hey, Mr. Novak,” Dean greeted him with his usual grin as Castiel unlocked the
door to his room. He turned around to see the green-eyed boy who had his hands
currently shoved inside his pockets, the perfect illustration of pure calm and
casualty.
Offering a smile of his own, Castiel pushed the door opened. “Hello, Dean,” he
said as he placed his books and suitcase on the table. They hadn’t had classes
that day – the seniors had literature on Mondays and Thursdays –, and therefore
looking at Dean with his leather jacket for the first time since the day before
was challenging for the young professor.
Dean took a seat in front of Castiel’s desk as the blue-eyed berated himself
for thinking such things. The Winchester teen was his student, he couldn’t just
have thoughts about how pretty those lips would look around his cock. Of
course, that only lasted until Castiel was alone in his bed at night.
“So, Dean,” Castiel started, shaking himself out of his reverie. “What can I
help you with?” he inquired, lacing his fingers on his table and very pointedly
looking at Dean’s eyes instead of wondering down the teenager’s body. For
someone so young, Dean surely had a beautiful physique, which was probably due
to the fact that he played for the school’s football team.
They started with small conversation about why Shakespeare decided to write as
many tragedies as he did, and ended up talking about what they both had planned
for the weekend, and what they had done the last one. It was no surprise for
Castiel that their talk took the wrong route; every single time he met up with
his blonde student the exact same thing happened. He didn’t even know how the
subject changed, so entranced by Dean’s presence he normally was.
Once they stopped talking, about two hours afterwards, Castiel realized he
still had to grade some papers and excused himself. Dean asked him for another
meeting on Friday and Castiel couldn’t say no to him when he grinned like that,
so he agreed before heading back to the teacher’s room.
Don’t even get me started on your eyes. I mean, the way you stare at people is
just creepy, man, stop doing that. On second thought, no, don’t stop that. It’s
kinda nice to have all your attention, you know?
Castiel’s heart fell. Some part of him had been hoping it would be Dean who was
writing those notes, but they had spent the whole afternoon together, and the
boy had never left his sight for even a second. Smiling sadly at the paper, he
put it along with the others inside his suitcase, wondering why he even kept
them. Perhaps to know that at least somebody liked it when he looked at them.
The next note only came on Thursday, and this time it was far from a note. A
letter would certainly be a more appropriate name for it. He decided he would
read it later, since he was already late for his senior class, and Castiel
never wasted a chance of being close to Dean. Quickly, he put the letter away
and headed out the door.
When he was alone at night with nothing to do but pitying himself, Castiel took
the sheet of paper from his suitcase. He couldn’t understand how someone could
write him those notes that only served to show him their affection; not when he
didn’t deserve it.
Dear Cas,
I know it’s the first time I’ve written something bigger than tree lines, but
I’m not very good with words, you know? Still, I wanted to tell you a few
things and, since I didn’t grow the balls to tell you in person yet, I thought
a letter would be the best way to do it.
My family travels around a lot. Dad has this job where he can’t stop in one
place for more than a year, or, usually, even less. And I just have to tag
along with him, because I have nowhere else to go. He’s still my dad, after
all.
Thing is, though, that this time I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here,
and, maybe get to know you better. Yeah, I know you’re probably not interested
or only think of me as a brat or some shit like that, but still, I don’t know,
maybe you could give me a chance? Maybe.
Not that it matters now. My dad’s leaving next week, and therefore so are my
brother and I. Cas, I don’t want to go. By the way, is it okay that I’m calling
you Cas? Because, you know, I’ve only called you Mr. Novak, but Cas sounds
nicer.
Anyway, that’s not everything I wanted to tell you. Ah, man, this is harder
than it looks. I thought it would be easier since I’m writing and not speaking,
but my brother is the little genius, not me. Talking aboutfeelingsand stuff is
not my cup of tea.
Okay, let me try again. I really like you, Cas. I mean, I really,reallylike
you. And I know we met four months ago, but I want you to know that. Quite
possibly, I won’t have the guts to even say goodbye, because I meant it when I
said you’re stupid.
I just forgot to add how you’re stupidly handsome and, more often than not,
cute. I mean it, though, quit staring at people. Unless it’s me, then you can
stare all you want. In fact, you can do anything you want to me and I’ll still
like you, I guess. That’s just how stupid all this feelings shit is.
There are more things I want to say, I know there are, but I just can’t
remember them now. I kinda lose track of thoughts when I think about you, you
know? I mean, those eyes you got there? Cas, they’re not only beautiful, but
they star in many wet dreams, I can guarantee you that; some girls even talk to
me about it.
And that sucks. Perhaps that was what made me write this. Today, a girl from
the senior year came to talk to me about you, because apparently we’re close or
something like that, and she asked me what you looked for in a girl. Shit, I
almost felt like telling her to fuck off.
That’s another thing I never got to ask you about. I have my doubts, but I
never actually heard it from someone who I can trust. Are you even gay, Cas? My
brother thinks you are, even if I’m not that sure. I hope you are. Or maybe
not, I guess it doesn’t matter now.
As I was saying before, I don’t want to leave Illinois because of you. Did you
know you helped me through some tough times? I guess you don’t, but anyway, I’m
telling you now. I was pretty deep in shit when we started talking, and you,
just being yourself, gave me a reason to move on; to fight. It’s for people
like you that I want to help this world.
I guess what I’m trying to say is just simple as that: I need you, Cas. You’re
what gives me strength, and I don’t want to lose you so soon.
Or ever.
If you don’t want to meet me tomorrow after everything I said, I’ll understand.
Sometimes I just ruin stuff, so you leaving wouldn’t be much of a surprise.
Still, if you do want to see me, I’ll be waiting; I guess I’ll always be
waiting.
Yours,
Dean.
Castiel read the letter three times, and on the fourth one the tears started to
fall. He would never guess Dean, of all people, would actually write him
something like that. The professor felt sadness and hope while his eyes took in
the words, and now that he knew Dean felt the same as he did, everything seemed
perfect.
Except for one thing; Dean was leaving. Castiel’s heart started beating
uncontrollably as he understood that Dean leaving meant they would never see
each other again. Where would he go? Perhaps it wasn’t too far away…Perhaps he
could drive to the city and they could still see each other. After all, there
was only a month of classes before graduation, and then Dean would go to
college. Castiel could find a job somewhere closer and…
He stopped right there. What was he doing? Of course, Castiel felt something
for Dean he hadn’t felt for anyone else in a long time – maybe ever –, but that
wasn’t reason enough to relocate his whole life, change jobs, move to a new
city and simply trail after a seventeen-year-old boy.
Was it?
The next morning, Castiel looked for Dean everywhere, but he was nowhere to be
seen. Only one thing did Castiel find that proved the older Winchester brother
had even showed up. It was another note, much like the first one.
You’re stupid. And I love you.
Once he read that, Castiel almost fell down. Luckily, one of the professors was
passing by and she held him up. The blue-eyed thanked the other – Mrs. Milton –
and proceeded on putting the note in his suitcase with shaking hands before
heading to his next class. From then on, he checked his locker every time he
could.
No, I mean it; you’re so stupid it hurts. Hurts because I need you.
Not thinking he would survive until the end of the day to see Dean, Castiel
tried looking for him again. He even asked a few of his classmates, saying it
was something of utter importance, but none of them had seen the green-eyed
Winchester.
Looking at your stupid hair hurts, too. Why do you use it like that? Didn’t
anybody tell you it’s against the rules to have sex hair? Besides, it makes me
want you even more.
That was the second to last note he found that day, and already Castiel felt
like he would die from anxiety. Constantly, he ran his fingers through his
hair, trying to push away his edgy behavior so that none of his students would
notice. Apparently, it worked with everyone aside from Sam Winchester. The boy
was smart, and it didn’t take him more than a twitch of Castiel’s head to put
the pieces together. Fortunately, though, he didn’t ask about it.
Don’t even get me started on your eyes. I mean, the way you stare at people is
just creepy, man, stop doing that. On second thought, no, don’t stop that. It’s
kinda nice to have all your attention, you know? I often imagine how it’d be to
wake up by your side; to have those eyes looking at me first thing in the
morning.
When the last bell rang, Castiel couldn’t be gladder. His breathing was already
ragged from running down the hallway, and when he ran to his room to meet Dean,
he didn’t lose time on pulling him inside and closing the door behind them
before pushing the younger boy against it and stealing a brief kiss from him.
“Do you have any idea what you did to me, Dean?” he asked against the boy’s
lips. Dean looked perplexed, as if he couldn’t believe Castiel actually felt
the same. His arms were firmly pressed against the sides of his body, his eyes
opened widely and Castiel felt the urge to have this gorgeous boy all for
himself.
Yes, everything he felt was enough reason to give up his life for. In fact, he
had the feeling that, for Dean, he would give much more.
Swallowing, Dean hesitantly reached up, touching Castiel’s cheeks with his
fingertips, making the raven haired professor close his eyes. “Cas, what are we
doing?” the boy inquired, his voice barely above a whisper, and Castiel shook
his head, because he didn’t have a clue either; it was a good feeling, though.
Licking at his lips, Castiel opened his eyes to meet Dean’s. “I love you too,”
he said simply, mainly because, right then, he knew that was everything Dean
needed to hear. Exhaling a shaky breath, Dean pulled him closer once again,
sealing their lips together as if he had been waiting for this moment his whole
life.
Their kiss was filled with desire, passion, and unspoken words that were long
overdue. Once they pulled away for a second, Castiel started trailing Dean’s
jaw line with his lips, light kisses being pressed here and there. He reached
Dean’s ear and nipped at the lobe, relishing in the moan he ripped out of the
boy’s throat.
Continuing to trail his path downwards, Castiel gently took hold of Dean’s
hips. “I need you just as badly, if not more,” he confessed as he kissed the
teen’s shoulder. Dean melted against him, his body going limp as his hips
started thrusting into thin air. Castiel took the hint and raised Dean’s shirt
so that he could draw the lines on his stomach. “I want you only for myself,
because that’s how this is meant to be. You were born to be mine, Dean
Winchester, just as I was born to be yours.”
Something wet touched Castiel’s hair then and he kissed up Dean’s body until he
reached his eyes. He kissed the tears away and nosed at his cheeks, his arm
wrapping around the boy’s waist and placing their hips together. “All I want is
to wake up by your side every day, and I swear, Dean, I will die before I let
go of you,” he whispered, as Dean started thrusting against him, their cocks
sliding easily together even through their clothes.
Hearing Dean’s little whines and moans was everything Castiel had ever wanted,
and as their lips brushed only in the slightly, he felt complete. Dean was what
had been lacking in his life; what didn’t allow him to achieve complete
happiness. And now that he had had a taste of it, he never wanted to let go.
“Promise me,” Dean nearly pleaded, his voice completely wrecked as his thrusts
became more erratic. “Promise me,” he repeated again, apparently fighting with
his brain to find the words to continue the sentence.
Kissing the boy’s neck, Castiel nodded. “Anything, Dean,” the professor assured
him, pulling away to place their foreheads together, his pants now brushing
over the teenager’s lips and their eyes locked together.
“Promise me you won’t leave me,” he begged, and Castiel could hear the story
behind the words; all of the other people who had promised him to stay, but
left anyway. The fact alone that he trusted Castiel to fulfill his promise even
after that had the blue-eyed man tiptoeing over the edge.
Thrusting even harder and faster against Dean’s cock, Castiel cupped Dean’s
cheeks. “I promise,” the raven haired said, and he had never said something
that held so much truth to it. That was quite possibly what pushed them both
over the edge the same time; the nearly blind trust they found in each other.
Dean slumped against him when they were finished, and Castiel could do nothing
but hold him as close as he dared. They stayed like that for what felt like two
hours before Castiel put a small distance between them, only so that he could
look at Dean’s eyes. “Will you come home with me?” he asked, running his thumb
over the green-eyed teen’s cheek.
With a small and sated smile, Dean nodded. “Always,” he promised.
End Notes
     Work also posted to my tumblr: evelynlawliet.tumblr.com . c:
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