Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/12130635.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Major_Character
      Death
  Category:
      F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Muse_(Band)
  Relationship:
      Matt_Bellamy/Dom_Howard, Matt_Bellamy/Gaia_Polloni
  Character:
      Matt_Bellamy, Dom_Howard, Gaia_Polloni, Chris_Wolstenholme, Tom_Kirk,
      Sari_Bellamy, OC_-_Character
  Additional Tags:
      Abuse, Child_Abuse, Past_Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, Single_Father, Angst,
      Pedophilia, Rape_Recovery, Aftermath, Suicide, Suicide_Attempt, Minor
      Character_Death
  Series:
      Part 2 of Don't_You_Worry,_Child
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-09-19 Completed: 2017-10-06 Chapters: 30/30 Words: 22542
****** Searching ******
by elladifi
Summary
     A father loses his daughter. He'll do anything to get her back.
***** Chapter 1.1: In Which Matthew Calls 999 *****
Chapter Notes
     Beta'd by wolstenhvlme.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
“999, what’s your emergency?”
Sari. Tell them about Sari.
“My… daughter, k-k-kidnapped, sh-she….”
“Sir, what is your name and address?”
What? “Kidnapped,” he repeated. “She’s b-been tak-ken. He h-hit my head.”
“Who and where are you?”
Your house. He gave it.
“I’ve got a dispatcher on the way, sir, can you describe your daughter? What’s
her name, and how old is she?”
“Eh….” He couldn’t breathe. “S-S-S-Sari Bellam-my. She’s f-f-five. Man b-broke
in, just, t-took her, oh my f-fucking god, Sari, I—”
“Calm down, sir, what was your daughter wearing? Can you describe her for me?”
He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe. “B-Black hair down p-past her waist,
she’s g-gone, she’s… find her, she has a b-brown dress, no shoes, b-blue eyes…
please, you h-have to help me, she’s g-gone….”
“Is there another person there I can speak to?”
“No, n-no, please….”
“Okay, sir, just stay on the line. Do you have any idea who could’ve taken your
daughter?”
“Sh-She’s only five, p-please, you have to h-h-help me—”
“Please, stay focused. Who could’ve taken her?”
Gaia. “G-Gaia.”
“Sir?”
“H-Her mother, her mother t-t-t-took her, she told me she w-would, b-but I… I
wanted her to be safe, I j-just want Sari, please!”
“Sir, are you injured?”
“W-What?”
“Do you have any injuries?”
His hand felt around his body. “N-No, I—” He interrupted himself with a scream
as the phone bumped against the side of his head, pressing against a cut he
forgot he had. The brick. Tell her about the brick.
“Sir? Matthew? Are you still there?”
“He… he h-h-had a brick, and he hit-t me on the head with it, and… it got me,
in the h-head, really bad….”
“Okay, sir, you’re going to have to slow down for me, okay?”
“Please, S-Sari—”
“We’re going to get Sari for you, okay, Matthew, sir? Just slow down. Is the
man still there?”
“No!” Matthew shrieked as loud as he could into the phone. “N-No, he’s gone, he
took Sari, he t-took her and he ran out the w-w-window, and I d-don’t know what
to do!”
“Okay, s—”
Matthew threw the phone down as someone pounded on his door. A voice shouted
something, but he couldn’t understand it, and resorted to screaming instead.
“Get out!” he wailed, the tears gushing from his eyes. “Get out, go away,
you’re g-g-going to take her away!”
“Police!”
“Get out!”
The sound of his door being knocked down filled the thickening air, and Matthew
curled up on himself, mumbling incoherently. He kept trying to repeat Sari’s
name, hoping she would come back to him, but it wasn’t working.
Footsteps echoed through his house, eventually landing right next to him. “Oh,
my god,” he heard a whispered voice say, then, “what happened?”
“Th-They took her,” Matthew mumbled into his hands. “They took my d-d-d-
daughter, they….”
Strong arms lifted him off his feet, and he didn’t resist. They’re helping, his
brain pushed out. Don’t thrash about, they’re taking you to safety. Then
they’re gonna find Sari, okay?
“Okay,” he replied to himself, his head lolling around on his shoulders as he
was pulled into an ambulance. “Ok-kay. G-Get Sari.”
"Sari?” one of the officers asked.
“My baby, my l-little girl, p-p-please, get her back, please!” Matthew’s blood
boiled with frustration at the officers’ ignorance. “Sh-She’s only f-five,
please, she c-c-can’t do things on her own, get her b-ba….”
A hand rested on his shoulder as he drifted out of consciousness. “You’re going
to be okay,” it told him. “We’re going to find her. You’ll be okay.”
Chapter End Notes
     Welcome back to the land of the living! This story will have sparser
     updates.
***** Chapter 1.2: In Which Matthew Wakes Up, Again *****
Chapter Summary
     He has woken up. He wants to go back to sleep.
Waking up in hospital beds seemed more common than it should be. The warm white
walls and sun shining from the window contradicted the dread lingering in his
stomach. Flinching, he turned his head, trying to make out if there was anyone
near. Why was he at the hospital? What had he done?
His left hand lifted to touch the side of his head, which he found was heavily
bandaged.
The memories came flooding back.
Sari. The man with the brick. Her screams as she was torn from him.
His blinking grew rapid, his breathing heavy as he turned, trying to find
anyone to help him.
“Matthew?” a small voice from his other side whispered. “Here, look here.”
He turned to find Dominic, sitting on a stiff stool, dark circles under his
eyes. “They called me here,” he continued. “I was your emergency contact in
your phone, and they called to t-tell me what happened. I came as soon as I
heard.”
“Dom,” Matthew grunted, the word cracked by sleep. “S-Sari’s gone.”
“I know.” Dominic tried to sound comforting, but his voice broke and his eyes
watered. “I know, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, I w-wasn’t there and when I
heard I was absolutely d-devastated.”
Matthew choked out a sob. “She’s going to d-d-die.”
“What?”
“She’s gonna die. G-Gaia said she’d k-k-kill her and she’ll go through with it.
I know it. I know sh-she’s gonna die, my little girl, my Sari, sh—”
“No,” Dominic interrupted. “No, she isn’t. We’re going to find her, okay?”
“We’ll find her b-b-body.”
“Matthew, no.”
“She’s gonna be maimed so horribly that we can’t recognize her.”
“Matth—”
“A-And she’s gonna have been r-raped and my p-poor baby girl is g-gonna spend
her last moments in a-agony wondering why her f-f-father didn’t come and h-help
her like he said he would.”
As Matthew wept, he felt a hand move to his face, a thumb swiping away his
tears. “We’re going to find her alive, Matthew,” whispered Dominic. “The police
are out there, they’re doing everything they can. They’re gonna find her. I
promise you, Matthew, we’ll find her, okay?”
The brunet’s eyes shut halfway. “D-Do you really promise? Are you p-p-promising
in the same way that I promised S-Sari that she’d n-never have to see her m-
mother again?”
“Th-That’s not—”
Before Dominic could finish, though, a doctor knocked on the wall, signaling
that Matthew needed to be checked on. The blonde turned to see her standing in
the doorway, somewhat concerned. “What’s wrong?” he asked her, and she shook
her head.
“My name is Doctor Jessica Tang,” she introduced, putting her hand out for
Dominic to shake. “I treated Matthew the last time he came in. I’ve been
informed that something is wrong with your daughter, Mr…?”
“Howard,” Dominic filled in, turning back to Matthew. “And sh-she’s just
Matthew’s. I’m only a concerned friend. Sari’s been kidnapped.”
Dr. Tang fiddled with a few buttons on the monitors connected to Matthew,
shaking her head gently. “The police are on the case, I assume.” When Dominic
nodded, she shook her head even more. “Matthew, did you ever take your abuser
to court?”
“N-No,” Matthew stuttered, half-asleep.
“You should,” she replied, moving away from the machines and heading towards
the clipboard at the foot of Matthew’s bed. “Do you still have the file I gave
you?”
A nod.
“I’m instructing you to bring it with you the next time you come in, in a week,
for a checkup. I’m going to be bringing my sister, who is a lawyer who
specializes in cases like yours. Matthew, you aren’t safe. Your family isn’t
safe. This woman, whoever she is, she is terrorizing your family. The last time
you came in, you were a mess, to be honest. You were absolutely destroyed, and
yet you’ve done nothing to help yourself. So, I am ordering you, as your
caretaker, to please, please, bring that file in.” Her eyes turned cold. “I
want you to be safe. I can’t stand when I see my patients in pain. Please.”
Matthew shook his head. “B-But she has people wh-who can f—”
“Fuck them,” the doctor growled, and both the men turned to look at her in
shock. “Pardon my language, but your safety is priority. It doesn’t matter
about those other people, as long as you’re safe. Please.”
While Matthew seemed hesitant, Dominic easily nodded. “I’ll bring it.”
“Thank you,” she said, putting Matthew’s clipboard back on the hook. “I’ll be
back in a little while. Rest, Matthew. Your head needs rest.”
Matthew shivered. Dominic again replied with a nod, and Dr. Tang left the room.
The blond turned back to Matthew. “I’m so sorry,” he said again. The man below
him had started trembling uncontrollably, the force of the loss still hitting
him. His head still felt clouded, as if the brick was still lodged in it.
“D-Dom.” The word was simple, whispered, and Dominic breathed heavily. “I want
to g-go back. I want to go to G-Gaia’s house and find her.”
“No, Matthew, please that isn’t a good idea,” Dominic tried to explain.
“D—”
“Please, Matthew, please, we just have to let the police look for her, we
can’t—”
“No!” Matthew suddenly shouted, the beeping of his heart monitor rapidly
increasing. “I n-need her. I need Sari back, please, please, go and g-get her,
tell her that D-Daddy’s here, Daddy won’t l-let her go ever again, p-please,
Dom, you have to get her back f-for me!”
Dominic felt the tears welling up in his eyes. “Matthew, I can’t, baby, I
can’t, I d-don’t know where she is, you just have to calm down, darling, please
calm down.”
Matthew’s heart rate started to go down as he just whimpered over Dominic’s
voice, sinking further into the bed.
He needed Sari. He prayed to whatever God there was that she would come back to
him, safe.
***** Chapter 1.3: In Which Matthew Has His Fifth Dream *****
Chapter Summary
     Part of him is missing.
Matthew was sobbing.
“Please, ma’am, please, don’t touch her, please!”
He was nineteen. He’d fallen asleep and forgotten to make her dinner two nights
in a row. She didn’t care that he was sick. She was angry.
She’d threatened to kill Sari.
“Move, Matthew,” she instructed, forcing him to the ground. But he didn’t move.
Words were almost impossible as he babbled, trying everything he could to get
her to stop. As she started to kick him aside, he grabbed onto her pant leg.
Her eyes were fury. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m saving my daughter,” he whispered. “Please, ma’am, please, you can’t kill
her. She’s only two, she didn’t know any better! I’ll tell her not to do it
again.”
Gaia only fumed. She pulled him up from the ground by the collar of his shirt,
pressing a thumb forcefully into his Adam’s apple. He started to choke, and she
growled at him, “You’ve been stepping out of line, Matthew. You’ve been
disobeying me more and more, and I’ve had enough of it. I’msickof you,
Matthew.”
He couldn’t say anything. Spit gargled in his throat as he struggled to
breathe. “Speak,” she ordered him, and he tried. He tried so hard, but nothing
but strangled gasps came from his mouth. “Speak!” Her voice was louder, her
spit flying into his face as she shouted.
He couldn’t. He couldn’t.
She dragged him, still choking, to the bedroom, locking the door. She threw him
onto the bed, finally releasing his throat and allowing him to breathe the
sweet air he so desperately needed. Choking sobs filled the air as he realized
he would not be tied down, but instead forced to stay still.
How he wished he would be tied down.
She ordered him to strip, then brought a knife to the bed. Placed it in his
hand. “Matthew James,” she whispered into his ear, licking the cuff, “hold onto
that knife. Use both hands.”
He did so. He wanted to stab her. He wanted to stab her in the heart and end
it, but he didn’t dare. What if she caught on?
“Put the blade to your chest.”
Oh, God. Please no.
His hands shook as the tip of it touched his skin, leaving nearly-invisible
scratch marks over his sternum. He sniffled.
She guided the knife to his left nipple. He whimpered helplessly. “Ma’am….”
“Shut up.” With careful movements, she wedged the tip so it pressed as hard as
it could against the area around Matthew’s nipple, never breaking the skin. “I
want you to do it. I want you to inflict this pain upon yourself, because you
have brought it. Cut it off,frocio.Cut it off.”
With trembling hands, he forced the knife deeper into his skin. It broke, and
blood began to flow in copious amounts down his chest. He let out a sob, while
Gaia let out a cackle.
A new wave of pain exploded through his chest with every single movement of the
knife under his skin, the metal wedging itself through thin arteries and muscle
with each trembling motion. His eyes brimmed with tears as he reached halfway,
and he could feel the nerves severing, the blood vessels bursting as the tiny
bud was sliced from his body.
He sobbed violently when he was two-thirds the way done, causing his hands to
drop from the knife and move to cover his face. The pain had become unbearable,
and, with the knife still stuck in his chest, he let out heaving cries. “I c-
can’t do it,” he stuttered. “Ma’am, p-please, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry about
Sari, please, make it s-stop!”
She had no mercy. Her own hands grabbed the knife, and, with one swift motion,
she finished the job, ripping the nub off with a sickening pop.
Matthew wailed. “Fuck!” he screamed, the pain shooting directly to his head and
distorting his vision. His entire chest throbbed with the feeling of the
separation, and he didn’t even register the blood spurting out from the newly
opened wound. He cried. He cried so hard, his eyes burning with the pain as he
howled, trying to convey it through his moans.
He heard a clatter, followed by a soft patting sound—she had put the knife and
his nipple on the nightstand. “Clean up this blood. Dinner better be ready
within the hour. I’m hungry.”
Food was the last thing on Matthew’s mind, though, as his eyes rolled back in
his head with every movement. He wouldn’t be able to make her dinner, and then
he would be punished again.
After the initial shock and the agony, though, his dull soreness reminded him
that Sari was safe.
The rest of his tears that night were tears of joy, that his precious two-year-
old baby girl didn’t have to endure that experience.
***** Chapter 2.1: In Which Dominic Helps With Matthew's Dream *****
Chapter Summary
     He's always there.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Another nightmare had plagued Matthew, and Dominic made sure he was right there
when he woke up. “Matthew,” he kept whispering as he stroked the shivering
brunet’s hair. And when his blue eyes suddenly popped open, he made sure he was
the first thing that he saw. “I’m here, it’s just a dream,” he assured him, and
without a second thought, Matthew pulled him into a tight hug.
“She made me cut it off,” he whimpered into Dominic’s shirt.
“Cut what off?” Dominic asked quietly.
“M-My nipple.”
“Oh.”
Little by little, Dominic was learning more about what happened when Matthew
was trapped with Gaia. And little by little, his wonder increased as to how
Matthew could’ve even survived. He held the brunet closer, his tiny body
shivering in his arms.
He felt useless. “Was that your nightmare?”
“Yes.” Matthew’s words seemed less like they were going to break with tears,
and more like they were going to break of emptiness. “She m-made me cut out
most of it. Then she ripped it off.”
“Why?”
“I-I had been sick and forgot to make her dinner two nights in a row. Sh-She’d
threatened to kill Sari, she had the knife and everything, and I pulled on her
p-pant leg. She freaked out, brought me to her room, laid me d-down on the bed.
Made me strip, like always. Gave me the knife. T-Told me to cut it off. I
didn’t bother asking what would h-h-happen if I didn’t, so I just did it.”
“Fuck, that’s… disgusting.”
“Th-That night, she made me clean up all the blood. Then I had to m-make her
dinner.”
Dominic was wordless. Matthew continued speaking, as if the cork had been let
off the bottle and he couldn’t stop himself. “Wh-When I was twelve, I walked to
school. There was a woman near the corner by my house, one who always
volunteered to walk with me. I thought she was like a-another mum, because my
mum d-drank and didn’t really pay attention to me. She told me she loved me,
and she said… she said I was the most beautiful boy she’d ever seen. A-After a
few months of talking to me, one day, after school, she pulled me behind a
bush, knelt down, and kissed me. I asked her why, and she s-said because she
loved me with all her heart.
“I d-didn’t understand. I was scared, and I tried to run, but she didn’t let
me. She kept kissing me, and… and then she sent me off. Told me not to tell
anyone. It happened for a while, y’know, and I… it felt good, y’know? B-Because
it was my first kiss and I’d n-never had, erm, experiences with anyone else,
and it was… it felt good. B-But it was confusing to me.
“I t-turned thirteen. A few days later, she brought me to her h-house. She said
she had a b-birthday present for me, I asked what. She gave me a kiss, brought
me to her bedroom, laid me on the bed. I didn’t know what she was d-doing when
she took off m-my clothes. I said it felt weird, and she told me to stop
complaining, that she was going to m-make… make me happy.”
“Matthew,” Dominic warned, wanting to stop the man if he got too detailed. But
the brunet shook his head.
"I need to tell someone, please, I haven’t told anyone in detail and I-I can’t
take it anymore, please, let me, please.”
Warily, Dominic nodded.
“She… she touched my c-cock. It sort of hurt, I remember, but the pleasure
outweighed it immensely and I felt like I needed to cry. And, er, as she w-
wanked me off I just remember feeling really guilty that it felt so good, and I
was w-writhing in the sheets and she kept moving her hand and… and then I came,
all over myself, and I asked her, ‘Why’s there all this white stuff on my
belly?’ She told me that it was a special fluid that came out whenever someone
made you really happy, and I fucking believed her when she told me that she
could make it happen again. So I kept g-going back.
“I was a child, I didn’t know better, b-but… the first time we actually had,
y’know, proper sex, I was terrified. I’d asked her why only I got naked, and
she said it was b-because I never asked her to get naked. So I asked, and she
did. Th-Then she took my hand and brought it down to her… her cunt and she made
me rub it, and my hand came away all sticky and I remember that was the f-first
time I felt dirty.
“Then she f-fucking forced my cock into her cunt, and I remember y-yelling
because it felt so fucking good, Dom, and to this day I feel bad that every
single time we did it, it felt good. Sh-She fucked me hard, and I came twice,
both on her stomach. She said I did good, and she slept with me afterwards. Oh,
Dom w-why did I tell her it felt good? It j-just encouraged h—”
“Matthew,” Dominic whispered, taking hold of the smaller’s hand. “You didn’t
know. You were a prepubescent child and nothing was ever your fault, okay?
Everything she put you through was wrong, even if it felt good to you. I
promise you, Matthew, you did nothing wrong.”
“M-Maybe if I told her I d-didn’t like it—”
“Did you ever give her permission?”
Matthew thought for a second. “N-No.”
“Then it was rape. There was nothing you could’ve done to stop it. You tried,
yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“But it didn’t work, because she was a fucking monster, Matthew. Not you. I… I
know you don’t like saying that you’re a victim, but you are. You did nothing
wrong, baby, you didn’t. A-And I’m so proud that you’re here, alright?”
“D-Dom?”
“Yes, love?”
“Can I t-talk to Sari? I want to tell her th-that everything’s okay.”
Dominic’s heart broke.
Chapter End Notes
     I'm so excited for this story to get finished, ah!
***** Chapter 2.2: In Which Dominic Breaks Down. *****
Chapter Summary
     They're finally leaving the hospital. Matthew's head has gotten
     better.
Dominic hadn’t eaten in three days. He refused to leave Matthew’s side except
to go to the bathroom, and even then he made sure to rush back. When Matthew
slept, he slept. When Matthew was wide awake and talking, he was there to
listen. He made sure the recovering brunet ate all his food, because he needed
as much strength as he could get. Whenever Matthew tried to walk, tried to get
up, tried to move around his room, Dominic’s arm was always there, holding him
steady. And whenever a dizzy spell would wrap itself around Matthew’s head,
Dominic led him back to lay down.
Matthew needed him. He couldn’t care for himself.
The previously energetic spark of life that rested behind his eyes was gone. It
had left with Sari, and Dominic feared that if she didn’t come back soon, it
would be gone forever. If Matthew talked about something he loved, he’d get
into it, before tracing it somehow back to a memory of his daughter and
dropping all hints of excitement. Every time he talked to the police, his eyes
dropped down and his voice became a pathetic whisper.
As the two prepared to leave the hospital on Matthew’s last day, he broke down.
“Dom.” The word was a statement, an introduction to an idea that couldn’t end
well.
“Yeah?”
“You know… y’know, if a ch-child isn’t found within the first twenty-four
hours, it’s… it’s not likely they’re c-coming back.”
“No,” Dominic broke Matthew’s thought. “Don’t think that, please, we’re going
to find her.”
“It’s been four days, Dom. She’s gone.”
“Ma—”
The brunet sobbed. And, of course, Dominic gave him a tender hug, one arm over
his shoulders and the other caressing his knee. “Please, love, please, she’ll
be okay. Please, don’t worry. The police are working as hard as they can, baby.
A-And once they find her, they’ll bring her straight back.”
“I… I can feel, Dom, I can f-feel that she’s g-gone—”
“Stop it, you can’t know that. She’s probably still here, doing fine, waiting
to be found. We’ll get her.”
“I hate Gaia.”
“I kn—”
“No, you d-don’t. I hate her with every fiber of my being. I hate her fucking
face, her eyes, her hair, her tits and her stomach and her legs and her cunt. I
hate her, Dom, I c-can’t stand the thought of that… thing hurting my b-baby
girl.” Matthew’s tears were replaced with aggressive shouts. “I hate th-that
we’ll be forever connected from the s-scars on my back to the fact that she m-
m-mothers my child, I hate that S-Sari will have never lived with a mother
figure because th-that one person was too d-dangerous that we had to escape
her! I hate her, I hate her!”
“Calm down, love, please, we have to go and I don’t want you to be upset.”
“Upset? Upset? You don’t want me to be upset, despite the fact that my fucking
daughter is missing?!”
Dominic moved to put his face in his hands. He said nothing as the tears fell
from his eyes and into his palms. He just let Matthew shout and berate him,
because he knew that he needed it. He cried silently as his exhaustion caught
up with him, his stomach growling in frustration yet again.
“Dom!”
He hadn’t registered the fact that he fell on the ground. Matthew dropped to
his knees, and he could feel the tender softness of his hands against his
shoulder, shaking him gently. “Dom, get up, p-please,” he whispered, and
Dominic tried, but only succeeded in rolling onto his back.
His eyes slowly focused on Matthew’s face, feeling those blue irises searching
him for something, anything.“’M sorry,” Dominic muttered, but Matthew shook his
head, moving his hands to cup Dominic’s face.
“Don’t go, please. I c-can’t lose you too, Dom, please get up.”
Shaking his head, Dominic tried to rise. With the help of Matthew’s hands, he
stood, and sat on the bed. “S-Sorry,” he repeated, and once again, Matthew
shook his head in opposition.
“You didn’t do anything. I’m s-s-sorry for not thinking about you. I’ve been
selfish. I h-haven’t been thinking straight. Wh-When’s the last time you ate?”
With a slight hesitation, Dominic replied, “Three days.”
“Christ, a-and I didn’t even n-notice.”
“No, Ma—”
“I know, y-you were trying to take care of me, but I… I haven’t been taking
care of you.” With a confidence that Dominic hadn’t seen in the tiny man
before, he wrapped his arms tenderly around Dominic’s middle, nestling his head
into his chest. “I’m sorry, Dom, I’ve b-been so selfish, y’know, and… and I
don’t know how to make it up t-to you.”
Dominic didn’t respond, as he was still in shock from Matthew’s boldness. He’d
always made the first move, asking Matthew if he needed anything, hugging him
first, kissing him first—but during his time of desperate need, he exhibited
care for Dominic.
He loved him more.
“Dom?”
“I’m fine, darling. You ready to go home?”
A nod, and Matthew pulled away, taking Dominic’s hand. With shaky steps, they
headed towards the elevator.
As they walked to the lobby, Matthew kissed Dominic’s cheek. “I love you
still,” the brunet whispered against the skin there. “Thank you for being
patient with me.”
“I love you too,” Dominic replied, smiling.
***** Chapter 2.3: In Which There Is An Argument *****
Chapter Summary
     And... everything goes downhill.
They mutually agreed to sleep together at Dominic’s house. Matthew had told him
through tears in the tube that if he set foot into a space where he could see
Sari, he wouldn’t be able to take it. a few days later, realizing Matthew had
done nothing but sulk, Dominic suggested a meal, which Matthew wholeheartedly
agreed to. He whipped up some eggs—breakfast for dinner, why not—and they sat
in silence at his table, the only noises the sound of chewing.
Dominic didn’t initiate the conversation. It was Matthew who said his name.
“Dom?”
“Yeah?”
“How’s Sari, d’you think?”
Dominic looked up from his plate. “Matthew.”
“I’m serious, how do you think she is?”
“I can’t… I don’t know. I can’t answer that.”
Matthew’s voice turned cold. “Why not?”
“I… you know why.”
“You won’t even guess?”
“No, because then you’re going to oppose me,” Dominic reasoned, setting his
fork down. “If I assume she’s safe, you’re going to tell me she isn’t, when
neither of us really know. If I tell you she isn’t safe, if she’s suffering,
you’re gonna go into hysterics.”
“Hysterics?” Matthew whispered, offended. “I’m asking for a fucking opinion,
Dominic. And… and I’m not a child. I’m twenty-two. I know how to control my
emotions.”
A snarl from Dominic, who looked down at his hands. “Clearly, you don’t.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“No, say that to my face,” Matthew growled, standing from his chair. “Come on,
have at it, look me in the face and fucking tell me that I’m incompetent.”
Without a pause, Dominic’s eyes met furious blue. “You’re incompetent,” he said
with ease, with purpose.
Matthew scoffed, walking over towards Dominic, a finger pointing threateningly.
“I’m incompetent?” he asked with a hiss. “You’re the one who wasn’t there. You
were probably at home, sleeping, sitting on your fancy fucking sofa watching
TV, having a wank on your fancy fucking sheets. I bet if I’d have called, you
wouldn’t have answered, you self-absorbed prick. You… you fucking come into our
lives, trying to act like some blonde god, and then of course you aren’t there
when I need you. You’re only fucking there when you want to be! Look what
happened because of you. Sari’s gone, because I let my guard down, all because
of you!”
Even though Dominic knew Matthew was looking for an excuse to fight, he fell
right into the trap. “Shut the fuck up. It’s not my fault I wasn’t there,
Matthew. I can’t cater to you all the time, contrary to your belief. You expect
me to be with you twenty-four-seven when I have other things to deal with,
including bodily needs like sleeping. I sat by your side for three days in that
hospital, Matthew, sleeping in that stiff fucking chair whenever you weren’t
awake, holding your fucking hand when you tried to walk, you imbecile.” Dominic
was standing, shouting right into Matthew’s enraged face, but he didn’t care
about him anymore. “I’ve had enough of you and your melodramatic bullshit,
Matthew. If you don’t want me around, just give me the word, and I’ll go. You
can take my ‘fancy fucking sofa’ and my ‘fancy fucking sheets’ because
honestly, I don’t give a shit about them. You don’t fucking understand that I
just want you happy, you dumb cunt! And yet… and yet you still try to guilt me
into thinking I haven’t done enough for you!”
“You really think I’m gonna believe you, Dominic? You think I’m just going to
forgive you for making me let my guard down?!”
“I didn’t make you do anything!”
Matthew was furious. “Yes you did. I saw what you were doing. You were trying
to buy me out, trying to impress me just because you wanted me! You don’t care
about me. You don’t care about my feelings or my daughter. You care about
yourself!”
“I don’t! Don’t tell me how I feel about you, Matthew. I love you, I care about
you and Sari, you idiot! But I can’t be there all the time, and I’m so fucking
sorry that I wasn’t there before, but you cannot blame this on me!”
“You’re lying!”
“No, I’m not!”
“You’re worse than her!”
From the look on his face, Dominic could see that Matthew regretted the words
as soon as they slipped out. They hit, hard, and the blonde had to take a step
away from Matthew because the force was too much. You aren’t, he tried to tell
himself. Sherapedhim. She fucking tortured him, you aren’t as bad as her, you
aren’t.
But he couldn’t. “Fuck you, yeah?” he whispered, turning around and walking as
fast as he could to his bedroom.
“Dom—” he heard behind him, but he ignored him, closing the door and falling
onto his bed.
He cried.
It started as a wave of thoughts, you’re worse than his rapist, you love him
and he thinks you’re worse than the person who tortured him for eight years,
you’re worse than the person who stole his childhood, you love him and yet
you’re worse than the person who kidnapped his child, you’re a fucking piece of
shit who doesn’t deserve to love him, you don’t deserve him because you’re no
better than a monster—
Then those thoughts flooded into his eyes, and he tried to blink back the
tears, but he couldn’t. They fell down his cheeks like silent rivers, until
finally he sniffled. One by one, those sniffles turned into heaving sobs, his
face buried in the pillow in a desperate attempt to muffle the sound. He bit at
the cloth, hoping it would somehow stop the tears.
It didn’t.
With cloudy eyes and an aching forehead from furrowing his eyebrows so hard,
Dominic tried to force himself to sleep through the sobs.
***** Chapter 2.4: In Which Dominic Realizes the Extent of His Actions. *****
Chapter Summary
     He did this.
Waking up the next morning felt strange. It was only when Dominic realized that
he was still fully clothed that the events came rushing back to him, hitting
him like a train. “Fuck,” he whispered, turning onto his back and staring at
the ceiling.
Did Matthew leave?
Training his ears, he couldn’t hear any movement, so he assumed he did.
The poor bastard.
Serves him right.
It wasn’t Matthew’s fault he was constantly angry. Dominic had done some
reading and assumed he was prematurely grieving, and the anger was going to
come with it. But it hurt. It hurt being called worse than the person who raped
the man he loved.
That was too far.
Just then, he heard a tiny knock on his door. Shit, he thought, figuring it
probably was Matthew. He’s bloody quiet.
“Dom?” a small voice asked from behind the door. “Are you… are you up?”
“Mm,” Dominic hummed against his every will, and he heard the door crack open.
“I’m… making breakfast. French toast. Do you, erm, want some?”
Now look who’s trying to fucking buy me back. “No.”
“Oh. I’ll… I’ll m-make a few extras in c-case.”
The door clicked shut.
Listening to the sounds of Matthew preparing breakfast through the walls,
Dominic sighed heavily. He still loved Matthew. A stupid fight wasn’t going to
change that. But he wasn’t sure if Matthew could love him back at that moment.
He was vulnerable, unpredictable, afraid, and Dominic couldn’t place his finger
on the man’s emotions even on a normal day.
And he loved Sari, too. They were one package, and he was more than willing
still to take them both. But Matthew had upset him.
Even if it was an accident, he was still pissed.
A few minutes of sulking later, and he forced himself from the bed, stripping
out of his clothes and throwing on sweatpants and an oversized tee. He was
going to have a good day, he decided, and he didn’t care if Matthew was going
to be a part of it.
In the kitchen, he saw Matthew sitting on a chair, his head resting on the
table. He sat still, not moving when Dominic entered the room. The blonde
didn’t say anything, merely heading to the plate next to the stove and taking
the final piece of French toast. He sat at the chair opposite Matthew, taking a
few bites into the toast. It’s actually good, Dominic noticed, but he tried not
to think about it.
Just as he was finishing, he saw movement from Matthew.
His shoulders were shaking.
“Matthew?” he dared to ask, and the brunet’s hands moved to cover his face. A
rush of fear fell over him. “Are you okay?”
When he looked up, hands fallen to his lap, his blue eyes were ringed red.
Overnight, his cheekbones had sunken, his dark circles had gotten darker, his
whole face had seemingly melted. Still fresh tear tracks stained his cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” he finally whispered, the words sounding utterly broken. “I’m so
sorry, Dom, I didn’t… I didn’t mean it.”
Dominic said nothing. His eyes searched Matthew’s face, trying to process how…
hurt he looked. How sickly he seemed in just one night. You did this, his brain
kept repeating. You did this. You did this when you walked out on him without
letting him say sorry. You did this to him. Look what you did to the man you’re
supposed to love.
An image of Drew’s face flashed over his mind.
Then Matthew was sobbing, his hands covering his face again, and for once,
Dominic didn’t know what to do. He felt trapped in his chair, his brain unable
to process anything except you did this.
You did this.
***** Chapter 3.1: In Which Matthew Has His Sixth Dream *****
Chapter Summary
     He is Sari. He's getting carted around like a fucking thing.
You did this.
Matthew’s head whirled as he laid on the couch, face weak from crying. He’d
stopped, only to notice he could hear Dominic through the thin walls, still
sobbing heavily. You fucking did this. Why did you call him that? Why did you
compare him to yourabuser,Matthew?
The sounds of Dominic’s tears punctured holes in his heart.
I don’t know, he told himself as he forced himself to fall asleep. I don’t know
why. I’m so sorry.
***
He was Sari.
She was being dragged away, into the cold night. She was screaming, her voice
hoarse, but she didn’t care. She wanted daddy. The only thought that ran
through her head was how much she wanted to be back home, with daddy, holding
him, beingsafe.But the man’s arms didn’t cease from her screams, instead
carting her away far into the darkness.
She cried. The words that tumbled out of his mouth were not his, but his
daughter’s—“Please, mister, please take me home, I want to go back with Daddy!”
But the man did not answer.
Suddenly, he was no longer Sari. He was Gaia, waiting at her home, sitting on
her immaculately-clean sofa. The door burst open, but she didn’t care, still
facing the TV. “Ma’am,” a voice said, “I found her.”
She turned, looking at the sobbing, broken face of her daughter.Sari!Matthew
tried to scream, but Gaia’s words were not that. They were calm, collected.
“Sari, darling, you’re with Mummy now.”
“Y-You’re bad,” his daughter sniffled. “I want daddy, take me back home!”
“This is your home,” Gaia said, the man forcing Sari onto the sofa next to her.
“You’re going to stay with Mummy now, okay?”
Sari was sobbing, and Gaia took her into her arms. With a surprisingly gentle
press of her lips to her hair, Gaia soothed her. “You’re okay. You’re with
Mummy. Daddy won’t hurt you anymore.”
What?
Sari turned to look at Gaia. Matthew, through her eyes, tried to scream, tried
to tell Sari that he was here and she was going to be home safe soon.
But his little girl’s eyes told him everything he needed to know. They told him
that she didn’t want him anymore. They told him that she knew he was in there
and still didn’t care enough to speak to him. They told him she wanted to stay
with her mother.
Matthew felt Gaia’s lips twist into a smirk.
***
As Matthew recalled the dream, he blanked out on the ending. Well, it was more
of a combination of being overwhelmed by tears and Dominic suddenly rushing
over to hold him tight. Incoherent sounds flew from his mouth as he clung onto
the thick fabric of Dominic’s shirt, his fists balled so tight that he felt
childish.
The only word he could process saying was sorry. And he was so, so sorry. He’d
never meant to call Dominic that. He’d never meant for those words to fall from
his lips.
“It’s okay,” Dominic kept assuring him, but it wasn’t. He tried so desperately
to articulate that what he did was wrong, and he had no intention of making him
forgive him for it. He just needed to tell him that he didn’t mean it. Of
course he hadn’t.
No one could be as bad as her.
Dominic moved him to the sofa, where he curled up tightly against the blonde’s
body. His only words were mixtures of apologies and his daughter’s name, his
beautiful baby girl who he was sure was dead.
When the tears started to fade, he risked a glance up at Dominic’s face. The
man was smiling softly, the edges of his mouth just barely turned up. A look of
pure forgiveness radiated in his grey eyes, flecks of white in the irises
sparkling ever so slightly in the light. His eyebrows were relaxed, every
feature the epitome of adoration.
I love you, he seemed to say. Even though you said that, I still love you.
Matthew cried.
***** Chapter 3.2: In Which Matthew Goes Home *****
Chapter Summary
     Empty.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
After a few hours of holding Matthew and letting him cry into his shirt,
Dominic decided he would go out to pick up a few things at the supermarket.
“Anything you want,” he’d added, hoping it would help Matthew feel better.
But he didn’t want anything. He just wanted his daughter back.
As Dominic kissed his forehead and left with a “Be back in a few,” Matthew
found that he couldn’t bring himself to move. He rested against the arm of
Dominic’s sofa, staring blankly ahead at a wall.
Sari was dead. He didn’t need to be told it to know it was true. Nearly two
weeks had passed since she’d been taken, the wound on his head almost fully
healed, and they still had no idea where she was. Gaia’s house had been
completely empty, and no records of where she had gone could be found anywhere.
No trail had been found leading out of Matthew’s house. The only thing that
Matthew had to go off of was the green eyes he had stared so intensely into,
and they’d found nobody who could even resemble that description who might be
linked to the crime.
Slowly, Matthew pulled himself from the couch, his legs stiff from sitting in
the same position so long. He headed over to where Dominic kept a notepad and
pen, scribbling onto the paper,
I’m at home. x
Without another notice of what he was going to do, he left Dominic’s house and
headed towards his own.
The familiar stench of bleach greeted him when he opened his door. Dominic had
hired people to clean out his kitchen, once the police had finished
investigating, but the smell was atrocious to him. Brought back bad memories.
With slow speed but quick intent, he headed toward her bedroom.
After the fight, his head had flipped a switch, one that seemed to take away
all his anger and replaced it with emptiness. He’d realized Sari was gone.
Whether she was dead or she was missing forever didn’t matter to him, because
he’d realized, finally, that he’d have to live the rest of his life without
her. When she’d been born, Matthew was filled with a sense of wonder, a sense
of happiness that nothing but her presence had been able to replicate since.
Her absence made him empty. He’d read about parents having to bury their
children, about the pain that came with it and the depression they’d gone
through after it happened.
Sari, though, she wasn’t officially dead. She was missing. He’d never know if
she was truly gone. That would plague him for years, he knew. He knew.
When he reached her door, he couldn’t open it. All her belongings would be in
the same place they were before, her backpack at the side of her bed, her
sheets sloppily made, a few clothes scattered on the floor.
The only thing missing would be her.
His hand floated down from its position on the doorknob, falling to his side.
It wasn’t worth making himself more upset. With calculated steps, he moved to
his own room. Headed to his closet, where he kept a safe.
He moved to open it, inputting the combination and pulling the door open.
He took the gun into his hands.
Chapter End Notes
     Short.
***** Chapter 4.1: In Which Dominic Becomes Infuriated *****
Chapter Summary
     There are too many parallels for Dominic.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Dominic stared at the note in his hands.
I’m at home. x, it read. Such a simple message, yet he didn’t know what Matthew
meant. Did he want to be alone? Was it an offer for him to go back to Matthew’s
house? He had to admit, he found it odd that the one moment Dominic was away,
he went home. Perhaps he didn’t enjoy his presence. Perhaps he just wanted to
be alone.
He’s vulnerable, Dominic couldn’t help thinking. What if she goes to his house?
What if he’s gone, too?
A moment passed where he just stared at the writing, contemplating if he should
go over.
Swallowing, he put the note into his pocket, grabbing his keys and heading out
the door. He didn’t like the thought of Matthew being alone right now.
When he reached the brown door, he noticed it was open. Alarms went off in his
head, and he pushed against the door gently. Something was wrong. “Matthew?” he
called into the house, whose lights were all off. “It’s Dom. Where are you?”
No response. He did say he was gonna be here, right?
Unconsciously, his feet led him further into the house. The smell of bleach
overwhelmed him, coming from the recently-cleaned kitchen. When he didn’t find
Matthew sitting at the cabinet where he’d found blood initially, he grew
worried.
Sari’s room was empty, too. It looked as if the door had never even been
opened. The living room was empty.
With a shaky hand, he opened the door to Matthew’s bedroom.
His heart dropped.
The brunet who he had seen only an hour ago was sat in the corner of his room,
half hidden by his bed. Dominic could see a pair of trembling legs, bare feet
with the toes curled into the rug. “Matthew?” he whispered, daring to move
closer to the shivering form on the ground. “Are you….”
The words died in his throat when he saw the gun pressed to the underside of
Matthew’s jaw.
He didn’t care that the safety was on. He didn’t care that his fingers were off
the trigger. He didn’t care that the gun wasn’t even loaded, either.
There was no blood, yet Dominic saw red.
With the fastest movements he’d made in a long time, Dominic jumped on top of
Matthew and wrenched the cold metal from his shaking hands. He flung it aside
with a clatter, before one hand pushed Matthew’s chest into the floor. The
other slapped him hard in the face. Knees pressed into his back, but he didn’t
care as he straddled Matthew’s stomach, daring him to move.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” he screamed into the shivering brunet’s face.
When he didn’t get an answer, he slapped him again, this time on the other
side. He failed to notice the slip of his tongue. “What are you thinking,
Andrew?!”
Matthew said nothing. He stared blankly at the ceiling.
“How dare you,” Dominic growled, moving so his face was mere inches from
Matthew’s. “How dare you even think about that. You’re a father, Matthew! Look
at me!” he added, when he noticed those blue irises were darting everywhere
except his own. A few seconds of silence, before they finally made eye contact.
Matthew’s eyes were dead.
“You’re fucking selfish, you know that? You’re trying to kill yourself,
meanwhile, you have a daughter out there who’s fucking counting on you! Do you
not love her, Matthew? Do you not love Sari enough to take away the one thing
that’s probably giving her hope right now?!”
No response. Dominic’s hands were shaking as he gripped onto Matthew’s shirt,
his knuckles white from the force. “You’re a selfish prick, you hear? Don’t you
ever try that again! Ever!”
Matthew was crying. Dominic wasn’t sure when it had started, but he couldn’t
hide the sniffles as tears dripped down the sides of his face. “I’m s-sorry,
Dom,” he whispered, moving his hands up to wipe at his eyes. “I’m sorry, it was
j-just a coincidence, I wa—”
“You can’t be sorry, Matthew,” the blond growled, the words ringing in his
head. “If I had been a few minutes late, huh? You’d be dead. Sari would be a
fucking orphan, Matthew, because of your selfishness. I don’t care about your
apologies. I don’t care if this was ‘just a coincidence,’ you utter cunt. I
want a promise that you’re never going to try this again.”
A sniffle. “I p-promise, Dom, please. I promise….”
When Dominic’s hand moved to caress Matthew’s face, in an attempt to calm him,
he didn’t fail to notice the brunet had flinched away. “I don’t want you hurt,”
he tried to explain, a harshness still behind his words. “I don’t want you to
be in pain. I don’t want you to die.”
“I promise,” Matthew kept repeating, his hands clutching onto the back of
Dominic’s shirt and pulling him in for a tight hug. “I’m so, so sorry, please,
I p-promise I won’t do it again, please….”
It was only after a few seconds of heavy breathing that Dominic realized
Matthew’s sobs weren't just tears.
They were pleas.
He was begging Dominic to stop.
Chapter End Notes
     I hate suspense, ah! I just wanted everyone to read this.
     I wish I had been there to help him.
***** Chapter 4.2: In Which Dominic Begs For Forgiveness *****
Chapter Summary
     Pretty self explanatory.
“Matthew?”
“Please, I… please, Dom—”
“No, darling, Matthew, look, it’s me. Look at me, baby, please. Open your
eyes.”
Pools of blue peeked out from barely-cracked eyelids, lashes obscuring most of
the iris. Skewed teeth chattered in fear. “D-D-Dom….”
“Come on, baby, come on,” Dominic whispered, the hand on the side of Matthew’s
face weakening its grip and instead caressing the soft skin there. “Look at me,
please. It’s me. It’s me, I promise.”
Matthew’s breathing was heavy, labored, quick. When his eyes opened fully, they
darted wildly around, unable to settle on a certain point. “D-Dom,” he kept
stuttering, his words mangled with fear. “I… Dom, I c-can’t….”
“Shh,” Dominic whispered, bending his head down to rest in the crook of
Matthew’s neck. The sinewy muscles were trembling, nails scratching for
purchase on the back of his shirt. “It’s okay,” he tried to reassure the
brunet, but nothing seemed to work. His hands never stopped their clawing on
the blonde’s back.
“I—”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.” His hands moved from the sides of
Matthew’s face to wrap themselves around Matthew’s chest, squeezing their way
between Matthew’s back and the cold floor. He held him tightly, trying to
provide reassurance. “I’m here. I’m so sorry. I’m here.”
“S-Sari—”
“We’re going to find Sari, baby. We’ll find her. I promise.”
Matthew’s words became incoherent babbles, his hands slowing and finally
settling on holding onto the notches in Dominic’s spine. His trembling ceased,
and he melted into the blonde’s embrace. “I love you,” Dominic whispered into
Matthew’s neck, and the brunet held him tighter.
“I l-love you, too, Dom.”
“I was so scared,” he admitted. “I walked in and you… you were going to do it,
Matthew, you were going to kill yourself and… if you had done it, I wouldn’t
have forgiven myself. I got angry, I’m sorry, but I… I couldn’t live with
myself if you were dead. I just want… I just want you to be happy, Matthew. You
c-can’t die. Please. Please don’t die on me.”
He could feel Matthew shaking his head.
“I can’t let you. Not… not after what happened before.”
Matthew could hear the tears behind Dominic’s words, and decided not to press.
The blonde was thankful he didn’t.
A few moments of breathing. Dominic pulled himself up, moved a hand from
underneath Matthew to instead caress his cheek. “I’m sorry for getting mad at
you,” he whispered, and Matthew looked away. “No, please, look at me, please.”
Matthew shook his head. Dominic, hesitating, finally brought his lips down to
graze the skin of Matthew’s cheekbone. “Please. I’m sorry I got mad.”
The brunet head in his hand shook again. “No, it’s my fault.”
“No, baby, no,” Dominic countered, finally moving Matthew’s head forward to
force them to make eye contact. “Please. I’m sorry.”
Matthew said nothing.
“Can I kiss you?” Dominic asked, barely a whisper, but Matthew still didn’t say
anything. “Please, baby, please, can I kiss you?”
A few moments. Matthew reluctantly nodded, and the blonde moved to gently
connect their lips. Matthew’s were cold, almost stiff, but still full of life.
“I love you,” he muttered, moving his lips to give the corners of Matthew’s
mouth tiny pecked kisses. “I love you so much, Matthew, don’t forget it, ever.”
Matthew sighed, finally, finally relaxing totally into Dominic’s touch as he
allowed himself to be pampered by his lover’s lips. “I love you too. I
promise.”
***** Chapter 4.3: In Which The Police Call *****
Chapter Summary
     They call.
Dominic made sure that he didn’t fall asleep on top of Matthew. He only laid
there, letting Matthew feel the weight of him, so he would stay comfortable in
his slumber. After he was sure that the brunet was sound asleep, he lifted him
onto the bed and tucked him in.
With his mop of dark hair contrasting against the white of the sheets, and the
tiny opening his mouth made, and the tiny movements of the sheets with his
every breath, the man looked like an angel. Dominic wanted to wrap his arms
around him and kiss him until they were both out of breath and giggling, but at
the same time he was content just watching him sleep.
It was peaceful, with the silence of sitting together without the awkwardness
of needing to converse. He got to stare as freely as he liked at the face he
loved, memorizing every pore and spot and blemish on it and loving it even
more. He didn’t have to worry about being asked what was wrong, or why he was
staring.
Simply put, he was deeply in love with the man on the bed.
One of his hands floated to caress the back of the brunet’s head, playing
lightly with his strands of hair. In his sleep, Matthew pressed against the
touch, unconsciously craving more.
Dominic smiled, gently massaging the pads of his fingers against Matthew’s
scalp. The brunet smiled in his sleep.
Many minutes passed, with Dominic simply staring at Matthew’s face and playing
with his hair. As Dominic’s eyelids started to droop and his touches became
slower and slower, he heard the unmistakable ring of a phone. He jerked almost
awake, despite not being asleep, and forced himself from the bed to check who
was calling.
Although he noticed that it was Matthew’s phone, he checked anyway. His eyes
widened at the number. Without a second thought, he picked up. “Hello?”
“Is this Mr. Bellamy?”
“This is his partner. Is this…?”
“Yes.” As the woman on the other end spoke quickly, giving him instructions, he
couldn’t help a smile from forming on his face, despite the severity of the
news. At least….
“Thank you,” he kept repeating. “Thank you. Tell them thank you.”
“No problem, sir.”
He hung up. Ran back to the bedroom. Shook Matthew awake. “Wake up, baby, wake
up. I have to tell you something important.”
“Mm?” Matthew grunted, turning over. “What, Dom? I’m sleeping.”
“Someone called. It’s important, please, wake up.”
“What?”
“It’s the police. They found her.”
The brunet turned around, fear drawn onto his face. “Wh-What?”
The grin plastered on his face faltered. “…She’s at the hospital.”
As Matthew’s eyes widened and sleep fell from them, he pushed himself up to a
sitting position. “She’s… they found her? What happened?”
Dominic took the brunet into his arms. “I… I can’t tell you. We’re going to see
her right now.”
***** Chapter 5.1: In Which Matthew Goes Back To the Hospital *****
Chapter Summary
     He can't believe it.
Matthew’s breath hitched.
No way. There was no way she was back. He’d already mourned her. She was
already dead in his mind. And yet… Dominic had just told him she was alive.
That she was found.
It can’t be, he thought as Dominic held him. She’s gone. She’s dead.
The tears didn’t feel real as they fell down his face. “I…” he breathed, and
Dominic held him tighter.
“Let’s just go, yeah? Sari’s waiting for you,” Dominic whispered into his ear.
“Come on, Matthew, you’ll feel better.”
She’s waiting. Get up. Go.
With shaking legs, he forced himself out of bed and towards the door. His arm
was draped over Dominic’s shoulders, both of their hands connected. He had to
be led out of the house and to a taxi, which Matthew thanked every God for
being there. No words fell from his lips for the whole ride, his hands clutched
onto Dominic’s arm the entire time. Occasionally, Dominic’s free hand would
reach up to stroke his hair, or his cheek, or his hands. A few kisses were
peppered onto his cheek, but he was giving Matthew enough distance to think.
Sari was dead. And yet she was here. Where had she been? What had happened to
find her? What had Gaia done to his baby? Why was she at the hospital?
She’s back. That’s all that matters. We can work out the rest later, yeah?
Matthew leaned his head on Dominic’s shoulder. Thought escaped him as he neared
the hospital, the only thing he felt being fear.
What happened to her?
They reached the entrance. Dominic paid the taxi driver, before helping Matthew
out of the taxi and guiding him inside.
As soon as they got to the desk, Matthew broke down. The secretary asked his
name, and he collapsed on the ground, sobbing heavily.
“He’s Matthew Bellamy, here to see his daughter, Sari Bellamy?” Dominic said
quickly, before kneeling down to talk to his lover. “Hey, come on, Matthew,
we’re almost there, yeah? You’re gonna see her, I promise. Come on, baby, come
on, get up.”
But he couldn’t stop shaking, even as Dominic’s arms embraced him and lifted
him to his feet. “Wh-Where is she?” he asked the secretary, his words cracking.
“Where is my b-baby, where’s S-Sari?”
The woman looked nervous. “She’s… she’s in intensive care. I usually won’t
allow non-familial members to see someone in ICU, but… he can go with you, Mr.
Bellamy. She’s in room 355, right down the hall.”
“Is sh-she alright?” Matthew stuttered. “I w-want her to be okay, please tell
me sh-she’s okay, my little girl, p-p-please—”
“She’s awake now, sir. She’ll pull through, I’m sure.”
Without another word, Matthew tried to pull Dominic as fast as he could toward
Sari’s room. The urgency was kicking in, the fact that his daughter had been
missing and presumed dead for over a week getting to his head. “Dom,” he kept
saying as he neared the room. “Dom, please, Dom, she’s….”
Dominic only clutched tighter onto his hand.
They stood outside her room. With a tiny pull, Dominic moved to face Matthew.
“You’re… are you okay? With going in? You don’t know what she’s going to look
like.”
Ferocity fell onto Matthew’s face. “She’s my daughter. I don’t care what she
looks like. I just want to see her, Dom, please let me in.”
Dominic pursed his lips. “Try not to get too upset, okay?”
“Okay.”
Dominic pulled the curtain in the door open.
***** Chapter 5.2: In Which Matthew Finally Lays Eyes On Her *****
Chapter Summary
     And all is well... somewhat.
Sari looked like death.
The first thing Matthew noticed when he walked into the room were the two
plaster casts on her legs. Bright red and deep purple, propped up with pillows,
and huge on her calves, they stuck out like a sore thumb on her frail body. A
standard blue hospital gown covered her body, and her tiny form sunk into it,
like she was being swallowed up. White bandages covered her entire right hand,
which was held in a sling against her chest. A needle connected to a drip was
nestled into the tight skin of her arm.
Her skin was so pale it was almost translucent, blue veins sticking out on her
arms and neck. In only a week, her face had turned gaunt, bones sticking out
painfully against stretched skin. Her previously waist-length hair had been
chopped up, portions still long and portions only down to her shoulder. All of
it was matted and knotted, giving her the appearance of a corpse.
Her eyes were filled with tears as she turned them up to meet Matthew’s.
“Daddy?” she asked, her voice croaky even with only one word.
Matthew had to take a step back, his hands moving to cover his mouth. A whine
slipped from his mouth, and he took in every detail of his daughter, laying
maimed on the hospital bed. His eyes prickled with the threat of tears.
Sari lifted her unbandaged arm to reach out to Matthew. “D-Daddy,” she said
again, and started to wail.
In a split second, Matthew was next to her, tenderly wrapping his arms around
her shoulders, letting her grasp onto his shirt and cry into his neck. “Sari,”
he kept whispering, his hands scrambling for purchase on the back of her head
and her neck as he attempted to pull her as close to him as possible. She was
cold, shivering, and he needed to warm her up, or he felt she would freeze to
death. “Daddy’s here, baby, I’m back, I promised you I would find you, I’m so
sorry,” he babbled, squeezing her tight.
“Y-You didn’t look for me,” she cried into his ear as she wrapped her arm
around his neck. “You l-let me go, Daddy, you didn’t find me!”
“No, Sari, please,” Matthew begged, moving to sit on the side of the bed. Tears
flowed freely from his eyes as he never took his hands off of his daughter’s
body. Lithe fingers wrapped around her thin arm, holding onto her as if she
would disappear if he didn’t. “Please, I was looking all over for you, baby, I
was looking, but I didn’t know where you went, please, I’m sorry that I didn’t
come sooner, baby, please, Daddy’s so sorry.”
“M-Mummy hurt me,” Sari bawled, moving her mobile hand to wipe at her face.
“Daddy, I kept yelling and you weren’t there! Why weren’t you there, Daddy?!”
Matthew, too, wiped the tears from his face. “Sari, baby, I tried so hard to
find you, but I couldn’t, and I’m s-sorry I didn’t get you in time. Are you
okay? What happened to you?”
She shook her head. “Mummy did bad things to me. Did she do bad things to you,
Daddy? Is… is that why you were always y-yelling after dinnertime?”
"Baby, please, please, tell Daddy what happened. What did Mummy do?"
Sari's eyes turned to the ground. "Mummy hurted me a lot. She... she did bad
things to me, Daddy."
A gulp. “Sari,” Matthew said slowly, looking at Dominic for reassurance. The
blonde moved closer, sitting on the other side of the girl’s bed. “Did Mummy…
did she touch you?”
Sari nodded. Matthew’s heart fell to the floor, eyes widening and hands moving
to cover his mouth. Bile rose in his throat as he turned desperately towards
Dominic, begging him with his eyes to continue the conversation.
“Daddy, of course she touched me. She carried me everywhere.”
He couldn’t force the words from his throat.
Please. Please, no.
“Sari, did Mummy or anyone else touch you where you put your bathing suit?”
Dominic clarified, although he too sounded on the verge of tears. When the
little girl gave him a confused glance, he rephrased the question yet again.
“Did… did Mummy put her hands between your legs? Or on your chest, right here?”
Dominic motioned on his own body the areas he meant.
She thought.
Nodded.
“Yeah.”
***** Chapter 5.3: In Which Sari Explains *****
Chapter Summary
     She tells her story.
Matthew threw up, turning just quickly enough to retch into a nearby garbage
can. Heaving sobs wracked through his body as he felt all his worst fears
tumbling up from his stomach.
This can’t be happening.
“Matthew,” he heard Dominic say from behind him, before a gentle hand was
placed on his back. “It’s okay, Matthew, it’s okay,” he tried to comfort, but
Matthew spit into the bin.
“She raped her,” Matthew coughed, shaking his head wildly. “My b-baby, Sari,
she raped Sari—”
“Sari?” Dominic asked, directing it towards the girl in question. “How many
times did Mummy touch you there? A-And where were you?”
A moment of silence filled the room as Matthew wiped his mouth on the back of
his hand, awaiting the answer. With an air of fear, Sari recalled, “Only once.
I was… I was in the living room, Mummy’s living room, and I cried a lot, Mr.
Dominic. Mummy t-told me to stop crying, and I… I didn’t, so she pushed me on
the couch and put a h-hand down there.” One of her fingers pointed to in
between her legs. “And she said if… if I didn’t be quiet, she would hurt me a
lot there. She p-poked me a few times, and it felt really weird, but I… and… so
I was quiet. If… if she hurt me there, Mr. Dominic, I wouldn’t be able to go
pee. That’s not good!”
Matthew sobbed, clinging onto Dominic. “Please, Dom, g-get me some water, I
don’t… I don’t wanna leave Sari, please, can you get me water?” He needed to
rinse his mouth out, but he couldn’t will himself to get up, joints stiff with
fear.
The blonde nodded and left. Matthew moved back to cling onto Sari. “Baby,” he
whispered, and she pressed her head into his chest. “Tell me what happened to
you. What happened to your hand? Your l-legs?”
She shook her head, attempt to bury her way further into Matthew. “Mummy hurt
me.”
“How, darling? Please, please tell Daddy, so he can help.”
Sari sniffled, and, just as she was about to start speaking, Dominic reentered
the room, handing Matthew a plastic cup of water. He quickly rinsed his mouth
out and spit into the garbage can, before he gestured to Sari to start talking.
“Well, I…. The scary man brought me to Mummy’s house, and M-Mummy put me on the
sofa. Sh-She made me sit on her lap, and she told me that she loved me a lot.
D… Does she, Daddy?”
“No,” Matthew growled. “Sari, she doesn’t love you. She doesn’t love anyone.”
“Well, she said she did. I think she was lying, because… oh, Daddy, I’m sorry,
you told me n-not to hit anyone anymore b-but I hit Mummy in the face and tried
to run away! I’m s-sorry, Daddy.”
Matthew held Sari tighter. “No, baby, don’t be sorry. If… if you feel scared,
you can hit who is scaring you. Especially Mummy.”
“But the scary man grabbed me, Daddy, and… he put me on his leg and g-g-grabbed
my leg and….”
“What did he to do you, darling?”
“Well, he… he pulled my leg a lot and it made a cracky sound, and it hurt so
bad. I cried a lot. A-And Mummy said she didn’t want me r-r-running away, or
she’d hurt my other leg. S-So I sat on the sofa. She took me around a lot,
Daddy. I didn’t know where I was most of the time. Sometimes it was really
dark, and sometimes we went to a park, but I just sat in the car. The… the
scary man never left me. He carried me everywhere, ‘cause my leg hurted too bad
to walk.”
Dominic and Matthew shared a glance.
“A-And one day, I went to the kitchen, ‘cause Mummy d-didn’t let me eat, and…
oh, Daddy!” she said, her hand flying to cover her mouth. “The scary man t-took
my other leg and pulled it hard, and it made the cracky sound too! I was crying
a lot, Daddy, I… I was crying so much and I was sick all over the floor, too.
Daddy, it hurted so much, wh-why didn’t you help me, Daddy, please—”
Matthew wrapped his arms around Sari’s neck yet again, holding her as close to
him as he could without disturbing her legs or bad arm. “Shh, Sari, baby,” he
whispered, his voice shaky from holding back tears. “Sari, love, you’re back,
you’re with me again, darling, it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s over, now. Daddy’s
right here.”
Seeing his daughter cry broke him, but he wanted to be there for her.
He was never going to let her go again.
***** Chapter 5.4: In Which Sari Continues *****
Chapter Summary
     She tells him what's wrong with her hand.
“And your hand, baby? What happened to your hand? Tell Daddy, please, so he can
make it better.”
She sniffled, drawing herself out of Matthew’s embrace. “M-Mummy got angry at
me because I kept trying to leave, e-even though my legs hurted. So I… So I c-
crawled to the door, and she stepped on my hand, and said I c-c-couldn’t go. I
said that I wanted to see you, Daddy, and she said that she w-wasn’t gonna… she
wasn’t gonna let you hurt me, Daddy. But you don’t! She hurted me more.”
Matthew could only stare.
“A-And she took me to the kitchen, and got a big knife. It was this big, Daddy,
lookit—” she drew her hand away from the other, spacing them about a foot apart
“—and she put this hand—” she pointed to the bandaged one “—on the counter,
and… I don’t remember, Daddy. I fell asleep. But I woke up and my hand hurted
so much, even more than my legs. It’s… it hurted a lot. I don’t know the words.
But Daddy, guess how many fingers I had when I woke up?”
No.
She put four fingers up on her uninjured hand. “Four! I had four fingers. This
one is missing, now,” she continued, wiggling her pinkie. “I think Mummy cutted
it off when I was sleeping.”
Matthew had to clasp a hand over his mouth to stop the bile from rising.
“Matthew?” Dominic asked quietly from the other side of the bed. The brunet
shook his head. “Darling, please.” A few moments passed where Dominic walked
over to Matthew, and then a pair of skinny golden arms wrapped around his
front. “Please. It’s okay. It’s okay, she’s here now. Look, Matthew. Look.
She’s right there.”
Trembling, Matthew lifted his eyes to stare at his daughter. She seemed a bit
happier than when he initially had seen her, but her face was still gaunt.
She was still in pain.
“Daddy, it’s okay,” she whispered. “I… I’m not mad at you anymore for not
finding me, ‘cause you found me now! I… I missed you a lot, Daddy. But you’re
back now! So… c-can I have a hug, please?” She outstretched her arm, but
Matthew didn’t move into it.
“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered, and Dominic’s hand moved to caress his
shoulder.
“You do deserve her,” the blonde replied softly, rubbing Matthew’s back and
shoulder simultaneously. “You deserve her. She’s right here, just for you,
Matthew. If it wasn’t for you, she wouldn’t be here. Look at her, darling. You
made her. She’s entirely yours, and not Gaia’s. Please, darling,” Dominic added
when he noticed Matthew hadn’t looked up, “look at her. Please, look at her.
She’s right there. She’s here, for you.”
Blue eyes met blue eyes. Both twinkled, pain lurking behind a layer of
temporary joy. “Daddy,” Sari whispered, and that was all it took for Matthew to
finally fall into her arms once again.
“I’m sorry, Sari,” he whispered again, but she patted his head gently.
“You say sorry too much,” stated she. “Don’t worry! I’m back, now.”
“Don’t leave me ever again, honey,” Matthew mumbled into her chest.
“I won’t, Daddy. I promise.”
Moments of silence passed, moments were only breathing filled the air. Then,
Sari pulled away. “I’m gonna go to bed, Daddy,” she announced with a yawn. “I’m
tired. Can you tuck me in?”
“Alright.”
The brunet got off the bed, Dominic following suit. He pulled a few sheets up
over her body, being careful not to disturb her legs or left arm. Patting the
sheets down, he leaned down to press a lingering kiss to his daughter’s
forehead. Matthew then moved to the shabby hospital couch, opening his arms so
Dominic could curl up next to him. The blonde complied, fitting his body close
so the two were nestled together. “Goodnight, Sari,” called the brunet, and the
dark-haired girl on the hospital bed sank further into her sheets.
“Goodnight, Daddy. I love you.”
“I love you too, baby.”
***** Chapter 6.1: In Which They Leave The Hospital For Good *****
Chapter Summary
     And they are gone!
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Watching a father and a daughter reunite after not having seen each other for a
long time was something that made Dominic’s heart melt. Being able to witness
two beings who so obviously loved each other to see each other once again gave
him shivers. And being a part of that, no matter how small, made him realize
that he loved both Matthew and Sari even more than before.
Seeing his lover kiss his daughter goodnight in that hospital bed was something
he was sure he would never forget.
He noticed that Matthew had no nightmares that night, instead sleeping semi-
soundly, curled up against the blonde’s form. There was no doubt in Dominic’s
mind that Sari coming back played a vital role in that.
Dominic also took responsibility whenever Sari had to be woken up and her
vitals had to be taken, in order for Matthew to stay in a constant sleep
instead of worrying about waking up every hour.
He felt like a father.
Five days after Sari was found, she was given a wheelchair, a sling, and a note
to come back in two weeks to get the bandage on her hand taken off.
“We did it!” Matthew cried in delight as they navigated out of the hospital,
Sari’s good hand held tightly in his own as Dominic pushed her down the hall.
“Yay!” replied the tiny girl, kicking her legs in her wheelchair. As she was
buckled into the waiting cab that Dominic had called, she asked, “Are we gonna
go home, Daddy?”
Matthew looked at Dominic, who shrugged. He was, of course, open to going to
his place to stay. But if Sari wanted to go back to her house, then he would of
course let them, parting ways at their door. “What do you want, darling?”
Dominic asked Sari, hunching over slightly to meet her gaze easier.
She thought for a second. “I want… I wanna be with you, Mr. Dominic. I want us
all to be together! Like a happy family.”
Once again, Matthew shot a look at Dominic, silently asking the blonde to clear
it up for his daughter. His eyes wanted him to say that no, Sari, we aren’t a
family, I’m just Daddy’s friend, so Dominic placed an arm around Sari’s
shoulders.
“Baby,” he whispered, “I’m… I’m not part of your family yet, yeah?”
“Why not?” she asked, azure eyes wide as she stared at him. “You said… you said
you loved Daddy! Rumi says that if you love someone, you’re part of their
family.”
Dominic’s eyebrows furrowed. “Rumi?”
“My bestest friend from school! So… so why aren’t you in my family?”
“Because,” Dominic said, thinking for the words. “I… I don’t know if Daddy
wants it. If… if Daddy’s okay with me being part of your family, I’ll be so
happy. But right now, I’m just Daddy’s friend.”
“Bestest friend?”
“Yes, darling, bestest friend.”
Sari giggled in the seat. “Daddy,” she announced, turning to her father and
pointing at the thick casts on her legs. “I’m gonna have all my friends sign
them! Do you wanna sign it first?”
“Of course, baby,” Matthew replied. He squeezed her hand.
Sari leaned over to whisper in Dominic’s ear, “You can sign it too, Mr.
Dominic. Even if Daddy doesn’t say you’re part of the family, you’re still my
friend. Not my bestest friend, but my goodest friend.”
Dominic laughed heartily.
Chapter End Notes
     A short and shitty chapter. The next one will be the last "sad" one,
     I hope.
***** Chapter 6.2: In Which Dominic Has His First Nightmare *****
Chapter Summary
     Andrew wasn't just anybody. There were so many parallels between
     their arguments, and Dominic feared that if he hadn't helped Matthew,
     he would've ended up....
Sari’s birthday happened to be the very next day.
They had gotten to Dominic’s house, had a fantastic meal, then promptly went to
bed. Dominic slept in his spare room, allowing Sari and Matthew to share the
king-sized mattress he usually utilized. After kissing them both goodnight—and
lingering on Matthew’s lips just a tad longer than he kissed Sari’s forehead—he
set to work wrapping her gift and making her a card. Darling, it read. You’ve
been through so much these past days, but I’m happy you’re getting better! This
is a gift from me to you, as thanks for returning home to me and Daddy safe and
sound. I love you, and Daddy and I are very happy you’re safe. Let’s share many
birthdays in the future, alright? Te amo, mija.
He signed his name as “Mr. Dominic,” before folding up the card and putting it
inside an envelope. He then taped the envelope to the wrapped box, writing her
name on the top in fancy lettering, and placed it outside the door to his room,
where Sari would wake up to see it the next morning.
Hopefully, they both like it, he thought as he slipped under the covers and
fell into a deep sleep. They deserve some happiness.
***
He was twenty-two. Just joining the workforce, just getting settled in life.
He’d bought a shabby flat off a London sidestreet, one which he shared with
four other guys in a similar position as him. But he wasn’t at that flat right
now—he was at a much nicer one, in a fancy part of the city, having a
conversation with his boyfriend.
Conversation would be a stretch. The two were shouting at each other, all harsh
words and pointed fingers as they lashed it out. Dominic saw his own spit
flying through the air, felt his face getting hot as a boiling kettle, his
muscles clenched throughout his body. The ginger man across from him was in a
similar state.
They didn’t know how the fight started. Well, that was a stretch, too—Dominic
had initially shouted at his boyfriend for not folding the clothes, which
escalated into accusations that both of them knew weren’t true but they
screamed out anyway.
Dominic’s boyfriend’s name was Andrew. Drew for short.
Drew had only just gotten out of the hospital two weeks ago.
At one point, Dominic had called him a slut. Accused him of cheating on him.
And that’s when he knew he went too far. Drew had gone silent, turning to look
at the floor. His usually bright green eyes had turned dark, empty, shallow.
Previously hissed breaths became heavy, but this time with sorrow.
Dominic wanted to apologize. He wanted so desperately to hold the man in front
of him, caress his freckled cheek like he always did, whisper that he loved him
and he always would.
But he couldn’t. He could only manage a hushed breath of his lover’s name.
“Drew—”
The smaller man stormed off. Hid in his room.
The two cried separately that night. At one point, Dominic slumped against the
door that led to the room they’d always shared and passed out, too tired to
keep on sobbing.
At around three in the morning, Dominic awoke to a shuffling from Drew’s room.
It was odd, at such an early hour, and so he got up and attempted to peer
through the keyhole.
Drew was wandering around. He looked ghostly pale and sunken, as if he was just
a shell.
One argument did that? Well, he did just get out of the hospital, for…
Dominic’s breath hitched. “Drew?” he called, knocking gently on the door. He
noticed the shuffling had stopped, but his boyfriend’s breathing had gotten
heavier. “Love, open the door. Can we talk, please?”
…his suicide attempt.
Drew said nothing. That worried Dominic. “Andrew, please. Let me in. I’m sorry
for fighting with you.” When the shuffling resumed, Dominic fidgeted with the
knob. It rattled, but it didn’t give way. He’d been locked out. “Baby, please,
open the door. Please.”
“Fuck off, Dom,” Drew shouted, his tone aggressive. “Go away. I’m busy.”
“Busy with what, love?”
“Things you don’t understand.”
Fuck.The last time he said that, he’d caused himself a lot of pain. “Drew, open
the door,” Dominic called, no longer a question but a command. “Let me in.”
“No.”
The blonde’s hands shook the knob, but it didn’t budge. “If you don’t let me
in, I’m kicking the door down,” he shouted through the wood, and Drew’s
shuffling got faster. “Andrew!”
“Fuck off!”
Dominic moved away from the door. Bracing himself, he started running, slamming
the door down with his entire body. After a moment of dizziness and pain
bursting through his shoulder, he got up, only to freeze in his tracks.
Drew was holding a note in his left hand. A pistol in his other.
“Andrew,” Dominic said carefully, “what is that?”
“What,” he asked, holding up the note, “this? This has been what I’ve been
planning, Dom. Ever since I got out.”
“Andr—”
“Dominic, please. Let me have this. It’s not your fault, baby, please, remember
that it isn’t your fault. Nothing was your fault. It’s just a coincidence. I
didn’t… I didn’t want you to have to see this.”
Hands clenched. Moved. Stuttered. “Andrew, please, put the gun down, love,
please drop it, pl—”
“Dom. I love you.”
“I love you too, baby, please, don’t do this.” Dominic moved to approach Drew,
but his lover’s pistol raised to point at him.
“Don’t come closer, or Iwillshoot you.”
“Okay,” Dominic surrendered, putting both hands up. “Okay, but please, put it
down. We can talk about it, if you want, a-and I’ll make sure they don’t put
you back in that hospital again, darling,pleasereconsider.”
“Remember that time we went camping?” Drew murmured. “You and me, the first
proper outing we ever had. We kissed under the stars, remember that? A-And you
said you loved me for the first time? Remember that, Dommic?”
Dominic coughed, trying to choke back his tears. “Yes, baby, I remember.”
“A-And we both got high as kites and f-fucked in the tent? I-It was your first
time topping, remember? You were p-p-pretty shit.”
A forced laugh. “I know. I remember that, Drew, darling, I remember.”
“Do that,” Drew continued. His hand never lowered. “Please remember me f-from
then. I don’t want you to see this, baby, I don’t want you to see me like this
anymore. I c-can’t help it. I can’t do it. I can’t live like this anymore, b-
being afraid that I’m going to hurt you with every passingfuckingsecond. B-But
I don’t want you to see this. Please, Dom, go away. Don’t watch.”
“No, Drew, please. Put the gun down. I-I’ll do my best to help you, please,
Andrew, please, I love you so much, please think about this. I’m not g-going to
leave you. You won’t hurt me, if you… if you drop the gun.”
Drew’s hand twitched, just the slightest bit. “Dom,” he whispered, and the
blonde dared to take a step closer. “Dom, read the note. When… when I’m gone,
read the note. Please. It explains everything. Please, Dom.” His voice became
hushed. “Please.”
“It’s okay, baby, please, it’s okay. I’m right here.” He spoke as if he was
talking to a frightened deer, making sure to stay calm. Inside, his world was
shaking as he took another step. “Just put the gun down, darling, and we can
talk, Drew. I love you. Please, please put it down.”
He was five feet away.
Five feet away from reaching out and pulling the gun out of his hands when Drew
turned it to his mouth.
“ANDREW D—”
The sound of a gunshot muffled Dominic’s cry.
Blood splattered onto that immaculately white envelope, with faint writing
scribbled on the front, as it fell to the floor.
Dominic screamed.
***** Chapter 6.3: In Which Dominic Ponders and Buys a Cake *****
Chapter Summary
     What are they?
For the first time in a long time, Dominic awoke with a start.
Thankfully, his dream had ended before he had to relive the memory of watching
Drew’s lifeless body crumple to the floor, skull fragments dotting the wall and
blood pouring from his nose and mouth. He didn’t have to relive the horror of
watching the life fall so fast from his lover’s eyes, his gaze sinking to the
floor and his pupils dilating tenfold. He didn’t have to witness the gun
slipping out of his mouth, falling to the ground as if in slow motion, the bang
still resonating throughout the air as it clattered on the wood.
The thought of having to relive watching his boyfriend’s skull collapsing in on
itself had him almost vomiting.
He got up from his bed. Sunlight streamed through the windows, a few stray
birds chittering outside. Don’t worry, he told himself. You’re fine. Matthew’s
here. Sari’s here, too. You have a house, now, you have a partner, you
practically have a daughter. You’re safe. You’re safe.
His feet guided him towards out of the spare room and towards his usual room,
where Matthew and Sari were sleeping. With near silent movements, he pushed
open the door, revealing two bodies curled tightly against each other under the
blankets. A head of spiky brown poked out next to a head of tangled black, and
two sets of breathing matched almost perfectly.
Yes, that’s my family.
When he reached the bed, he tenderly moved his hand to stroke Matthew’s head of
hair. The brunet mumbled something, turning over to face Dominic.
“Hey,” he whispered, leaning down to become level with his lover’s face. “Hey,
baby, wake up.”
“Mm?” Matthew asked, not opening his eyes.
“Can I have a kiss?”
A nod. Dominic quickly pressed his lips to Matthew’s. “Matthew, remember what
today is?”
For a moment, the blonde feared that Matthew had fallen asleep again. But a
second after, he replied, “Sari’s turning six.”
“Yeah, so, you gotta get up. I’m going out to get her a cake. What’s her
favorite flavor?”
“…Chocolate. Red and purple. She likes fondant a lot.”
“Okay, thanks. Get up, baby. Make sure you don’t wake Sari. I’ll be back in a
bit, alright?”
“Mm.”
“And… Matthew, love?”
“Yeah?”
“If you’re in trouble… call me. Please, be careful.”
“Alright, Dom.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Matthew leaned up, then, to gift Dominic with another chaste kiss. “Come back
soon, okay?” he whispered onto Dominic’s lips.
“I will. Be good.”
With that, Dominic walked out of the room. Walked out of the house.
On his way to the store, he took time to ponder. What even were him and
Matthew? He knew they were more than friends, but not quite “lovers,” although
he’d been calling them that for a while. They weren’t boyfriends, either, as
neither of them had asked the other. Partners? Sounded too much like cowboys to
him, but it’s what most people would probably understand.
And as he came back with the cake, he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he
wanted to be able to call Matthew his boyfriend.
***** Chapter 7.1: In Which Matthew And Sari Have A Tickle Fight *****
Matthew’s shower was short. And cold.
He’d brushed his teeth, combed out his hair, and was washing his face when he
heard a shuffling from Dominic’s room. “Sari?” he called, but he didn’t get an
answer. As quick as he could, he dried off his face, bursting out of the
bathroom door.
Sari was laying on her stomach, kicking her feet behind her, as she fiddled
with Matthew’s phone. “Daddy, this one’s no fun!” she called out, throwing it
on the bed. “There’s no games.”
A sigh fell from Matthew’s lips. Sari turned to look at him, then started
giggling madly. “Daddy, you’re naked!”
He looked down. He wasn’t exactly naked—boxers covered his hips—but that didn’t
stop him from blushing and covering up his marred chest with his arms. Sari had
seen him topless before, and she never commented on it, but he didn’t want her
to have to see the scars more than she had to. “Look away!” he cried out in a
joking manner, waving one arm frantically. “You’re too young to be seeing naked
boys!”
Sari’s giggles became uncontrollable as she rolled off the bed and hobbled as
fast as she could on her casts over to Matthew. “I’m gonna get you, Daddy!” she
laughed, and Matthew mock-ran away from her.
“No-o-o-o!”
Eventually, he let Sari catch up with him, and she tackled him onto the bed.
“Tickle fight!” she squealed, digging her fingers into the sides of Matthew’s
stomach. The brunet laughed uncontrollably, his body curling up at the
sensation as he writhed to get away.
“Well, I am the tickle monster!” Matthew managed between gasps. “And I’m gonna
tickle you out of this world!” He flipped around, so he was leaning over Sari,
and lightly tickled under her good arm and the side of her stomach.
“Ah, Daddy!” she giggled, pushing at him with her good hand. “That’s not fair,
you’re bigger!”
“You started it!” Matthew defended, taking a light kick from one of Sari’s
casts in his ribs. “Unph, not so hard, baby, the tickle monster is fragile.”
“A-ha!” she exclaimed, but just as she was about to sneak out from under
Matthew, he lifted the bottom of her shirt and blew a raspberry into her
stomach.
“Bleh,” Matthew mock-groaned, rolling onto his back. “You’ve exhausted the
tickle monster!”
Sari jumped on top of Matthew’s stomach, forcing a grunt out of him. One of her
tiny fingers trailed lightly over the deeper scars, eventually landing in the
dip where his left nipple would be, then continuing, up and down his body.
“Daddy, you’re all stripy. Are you sure you aren’t part zebra?”
“No, Sari,” Matthew breathed, shivering from the touch. It felt weird, like she
was cleaning away the memories with her wandering finger.
“Am I gonna get the stripes, too?”
Matthew stiffened. “No, Sari. A-And… Daddy’s the only one who really has these.
But they’re secret, alright? Don’t mention the secret stripes to anyone,
please.”
“Not even Mr. Dominic? Your bestest friend?”
“...Okay, only with Mr. Dominic. Oh, and Sari?”
“Yeah?”
He wrapped his arms tenderly around her, moving her up his body so she laid
right on his chest. A kiss was pressed to her hair.
“Happy birthday, love.”
***** Chapter 7.2: In Which Dominic Comes Home And Asks A Question *****
Chapter Summary
     Aw!
“Oh yeah!” Sari gasped, jumping off of Matthew and carefully lowering herself
to the ground. “It’s my birthday! I almost forgot, Daddy. Let’s have some food
and go out!”
“Wait, Sari, we’re gonna wait for Dom to get back, alright?” Matthew groaned,
forcing himself from the bed. “And you’re getting your hair cut today, because
it looks like Mummy cut a lot off. But, yes, then we’re going to go out and
I’ll get you anything you want.” He moved to his dresser and pulled on a pair
of sweatpants.
“Anything?”
“Yes, darling. Anything you want.” Matthew had saved up a reasonable amount
from his odd jobs, and had about a thousand spare-able pounds to treat her
with. He was ready to go all out for his baby’s first birthday out of the
house.
The little girl thought as Matthew slid a shirt on. “Well… I wanna get a pink
dress! And a re-e-e-eally big teddy bear!”
Matthew laughed, opening the door to their room. “Alright. We can do that.”
“Yay!” When Sari looked down at the floor, though, she spotted a flattish box.
“Daddy, what’s this?” she asked, picking it up.
Matthew was confused as he took the box out of her hands. It was elegantly
wrapped with silver paper, and a card was tied to it with a white bow. Sari,
mija, it read in a fancy handwritten font. “I don’t know,” Matthew admitted,
but by the writing, and the tiny smudges that only a trailing hand could leave
behind, he assumed it was from Dominic.
“Can I see? It has my name on it.”
“No, darling, it’s probably a surprise from Dom.” Matthew tucked the box under
his arm and held Sari’s hand as they started to the kitchen. While Matthew
pulled a loaf of bread out from Dominic’s cabinet, he heard the door being
unlocked and opened.
“I’m home!” announced Dominic, carrying a regularly-sized box in one hand and
his keys in the other. “Where is the birthday girl?” When a mischievous giggle
came from the living room, a full grin graced Dominic’s face. “Is that the
birthday girl I hear? Sa-a-a-ari-i-i-i,” Dominic sang as he set the box on the
kitchen counter. “Come on, Sari, Dom wants to give you a birthday hug!”
“Here I am!” she announced, jumping as well as she could from behind a sofa.
“Hey!” Dominic laughed, almost running over to pick her up. “Happy birthday,
darling. How old are you now?”
“Six!” she exclaimed proudly. “I’m six.”
“Wow, six already?” Dominic asked. “It seems as if you were five just
yesterday….”
Sari just laughed at that, swatting his shoulder playfully. Dominic set her
down on the sofa. “What are we doing today, birthday girl?”
“Daddy’s gonna take me out and treat me like a princess!”
“Is that right?” Dominic asked, sneaking a glance to his boyfriend, who was
making… something.
“Yeah! Do you wanna come, Mr. Dominic?”
He kneeled down before her, taking her good hand and kissing it gently. “I’d be
honored, Your Majesty.”
He absolutely adored the giggle that fell from her mouth as she wrapped her arm
around his neck. “Good!” she squealed into his ear, seeming so excited that he
wanted to go with her that she might explode. “Thank you, Mr. Dominic.”
“You’re welcome, beautiful. Now, I’m gonna go talk to Daddy, okay?”
“Okay. I’m gonna watch TV!”
Dominic left her to it, heading towards the kitchen where he finally identified
that Matthew was cooking chocolate chip pancakes, one in the distinct shape of
a dinosaur. “Hey,” the brunet said when he heard Dominic entering the room.
“How are you?”
“I’m good. You doing alright? Need any help?”
“Nah, I’m fine,” Matthew replied, but just then, Dominic wrapped his arms
around his waist. With a grin, he asked, “What are you doing?”
“Nothin’. I was just thinking while I was out.” The blonde kissed the shell of
Matthew’s ear.
Matthew felt his heart sinking in his chest. “What?”
“No, no, no,” Dominic laughed, sensing Matthew’s worry. “It’s nothing bad. Just
wondering.”
“Oh. What about?”
A pause filled the air, filled only with the sizzling of pancakes, until
Dominic whispered, barely audible even directly next to Matthew’s ear, “You
wanna be, er, d’you wanna be my boyfriend? I mean, properly, now, because
we’ve… we’ve already told each other that we love each other, yeah, a-and we’ve
been staying together a lot and we’ve, er, made out and stuff, and I was just
wondering, y’know, if you wanted to, like, give this thing a name, yeah?”
Silence. Then, Matthew cackling wildly. He turned around in Dominic’s arms,
wrapping his own around the taller man’s neck. “You’re rambling, now, it sounds
like me. Yes, I’ll be your boyfriend.”
Dominic let out a breath that he was unaware he was holding, and held Matthew
tighter. “Can I have a kiss, then?”
Matthew answered with one.
***** Chapter 7.3: In Which They Go Out *****
Chapter Summary
     It's Sari's birthday. She's back just in time.
Sari had loved her pancakes. She’d adored the dinosaur one, and eaten it right
up, then insisting that they go for the haircut immediately. “Okay,” Matthew
replied, allowing her to lead him very carefully out the door, using his cane
for stability. He’d popped it down a few notches, so that it was her height,
and she insisted on acting like an old man while using it, much to the
amusement of Dominic.
“Uh, my back!” she exclaimed at random points of their walk, causing the blonde
to burst out in cackles, even as they walked through the door of the hair
salon.
“Hey!” the hairdresser said to her. “How are you today?”
She replied, and the woman took her hand and led her to a chair. When she came
back down, her hair was straightened, much less tangled, and styled in a bob
cut with straight bangs. “She’s a doll,” the hairdresser smiled at the pair,
and all three of them thanked her profusely.
Their next stop would be Hamleys, where Matthew was insistent on paying for
whatever Sari wanted, much to Dominic’s dismay. Matthew didn’t seem to care how
much money he had—he said he wanted this to be his own gift.
So Sari picked out a teddy bear almost twice her size and three animal
figurines. “What’re those?” Matthew asked her, and her answer was simple.
“This one”—a panda—“is me, because I’m cute like a panda. The leopard is Mr.
Dominic, ‘cause he likes leopards a lot. He’s always wearing leopard shirts.
And the zebra’s you, Daddy, ‘cause you’re striped like a zebra!”
Matthew shivered a bit, but smiled anyway. “That’s cute, baby. Now come on,
let’s go pay.”
They did so.
Their final stop was a children clothes store that Dominic forgot the name of
as soon as he walked out. Sari picked out a knee-length pink dress, and, after
trying it on and twirling for Matthew, they walked out, bags in tow.
“You having fun, darling?” Matthew asked her, and a huge grin spread over her
face.
“Daddy, this is the best birthday ever!”
“I’m glad, love. We have one more stop, though. Can you guess where we’re
going?”
Sari thought for a second, pouting her lips with concentration, before
exclaiming, “Uncle Chris!”
“Yes!”
Dominic smiled lightly at the thought. It would be exciting to finally meet the
man that Matthew considered a brother. And Matthew was equally as excited to
have his brother meet his boyfriend, who he’d originally came to talk to him
about. It had been a while since they spoke, and Chris was certainly going to
wonder what happened with Sari, but Matthew intended to keep it vague.
“I miss Ava. Can I play with her when we get there?”
“Of course,” Matthew replied, before stopping them and kneeling down to her
level. His hands sook out her shoulders. “Baby, though, can you promise
something for Daddy?”
Yeah?”
“Please, don’t tell Ava or Alfie about what happened with Mummy. If they ask
you, just say that… say that Daddy told you not to tell, okay?”
“Why?”
Matthew pursed his lips. “Because… because it’s not—it’s not something that
Daddy wants you to talk about, okay? Please, just do this for me.”
Sari nodded. “Okay.”
They continued down the road, bags in tow, until they stood outside of Chris’s
house. With a shaky breath, Matthew knocked on the door.
***** Chapter 7.4: In Which They Go To Chris's *****
Chapter Summary
     It's like meeting a parent.
“Matt, he—what happened to you?”
Chris stopped in the middle of his sentence, leaning over to look at Sari. “My
god, that’s quite a lot of injuries. What happened, darling?”
Sari shifted uncomfortably, attempting to hide behind Matthew’s cane. “I… Daddy
doesn’t want me to talk about it.”
Chris shot Matthew a concerned look. The smaller brunet only shrugged.
“Well, I’ll talk to Daddy about it, then. Let’s... come on in, Sari. Ava and
Alfie are in the living room, if you want to go play with them. And happy
birthday, love.”
“Yay!” Sari carefully made her way into the house, guided by Chris, Matthew
following them in. It was only when he realized that Dominic lingered outside
that he took his hand.
“Hey,” he whispered, “come on, I want you to meet him.”
Dominic’s lips pursed in apprehension. “I… I feel like I’m intruding.”
“Nonsense. You deserve to be here as much as Sari does. Come on.”
The two of them walked to the kitchen and sat around a table on the far side,
where Chris eventually met them. He pulled out two beers from the fridge, then
hesitated, before reaching back and grabbing a third. “Do you like Blue Moon?”
he asked Dominic, who nodded. They were placed on the table before them, before
Chris himself took the seat across.
“So.”
Dominic visibly swallowed. Matthew just smiled. “Chris, this is, er… Dominic, I
mean, Dom, this is Dom.”
“Your boyfriend?” Chris asked simply, taking a sip of his beer.
“Yeah.”
A moment of awkward silence passed, where Chris looked Dominic up and down.
Matthew noticed that his eyes studied every detail of his boyfriend, from the
tousled mess of hair atop his head to the shimmering grey of his eyes, the
bronze expanse of his neck to the lazily buttoned red-leopard-print shirt. At
that exact moment, Matthew could tell Dominic felt he was being examined by a
parent. He felt as if it was worse than having his parents meet with the blond
sitting next to him.
“So, Dom,” Chris started, and Dominic’s eyes darted towards the table. “Tell me
about yourself.”
“I…” Dominic struggled for words. “I’m… I work at the… I work at the Uniqlo
down on Regent Street. A-And, I, er, I speak a few languages. I can play the
drums, a little bit, but, erm… th-that’s about it, I guess. I think.”
“Mm.” Chris took a swig from his beer. “You treating Matt alright?”
“Y-Yeah—I mean, I hope so.”
Chris turned to Matthew. “Does he?”
The smaller brunet nodded. “Yeah. He lets me stay at his place a lot, a-and he
always asks me before he kisses me. And he’s… he’s great with Sari.”
A nod. Chris’s eyes met Dominic’s again. “Matt told you, yeah? About the
pathetic cunt known as Gaia?”
Dominic nodded.
“And you know about what happened to him?”
Another nod. It was Matthew’s turn to shift uncomfortably.
“Listen,” Chris said, his voice dropping as he leaned closer in, “Dom, you seem
like a nice guy. I like you. And I’m really glad that Matt fell for you, and
that you’ve been taking care of him. But Dom?”
“Yeah?”
"You hurt him at all, and I will break you.”
The plainness which Chris uttered those words caused a shiver to run up both
Matthew and Dominic’s backs. The blond nodded, understanding, and Chris smiled
gently.
“So… have you two done it yet?”
***** Chapter 8.1: In Which Chris Laughs It Off *****
Chapter Summary
     It's a joke! But seriously....
Dominic almost spit out his beer when Chris asked.
Leading up to it, he had been relatively tame, although horrifyingly
intimidating. He could feel the beginnings of a cold sweat flowing through his
veins at the first few questions.
“No!” Dominic exclaimed as soon as he stopped coughing. “N-No, we, erm… no. We
haven’t. Not yet.”
Matthew’s answer was quite similar, although much gigglier.
A hearty, booming laugh escaped Chris’s chest as he watched the two men stumble
over their words. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch,” he assured them. “Just
making sure. Use condoms and stuff, yeah? And take it slow.”
Matthew nodded. Dominic blushed furiously.
“Alright, that’s my schpeal. You two look like you’re about to vomit. Dom, I
promise, I’m not that scary.” Chris finished off his beer, letting out another
laugh. “Thank you, Dom, for taking care of him. He means a lot to me. But,
Matt, what the fuck happened to Sari?”
At that point, Matthew started to shift. “She, er, had an accident. I don’t
wanna talk about it.”
Chris gave him a sideways glance. “She broke both her legs and her arm’s in a
sling. Must’ve been a pretty bad accident, then.”
“Yeah. I don’t wanna talk about it, alright?” Matthew’s voice had gotten
defensive, and Dominic moved an arm to wrap around his chair.
Chris’s arms went up in surrender. “Alright, don’t worry. I just hope you’re
okay.”
“We’re fine, Chris. I… it’s fine.”
The taller brunet didn’t press.
“So, Chris,” Dominic started, hoping to change the topic. “You’ve got two
kids?”
“Mm. A third’s on the way. Kelly’s practically bursting.”
“I haven’t seen her in a while,” Matthew thought aloud. “Where is she? Can I go
say hi?”
“Sure, she should be in the living room with the kids,” Chris smiled. “I’m sure
she could use some help.”
With that, Matthew rose and moved towards the living room. The smile dropped
from Chris’s face as soon as Matthew was out of earshot, and he spoke rapidly.
“Dom, how much did Matt tell you about Gaia? Like, what exactly did he tell
you?”
Dominic swallowed. Thought. “He… he told me first about how long he stayed
here. And what she initially did to him, a-and how old she was. Then it was the
nightmares, when we first slept—I mean, we shared a bed. I… I learned that he
doesn’t like having his wrists touched, a-and that I shouldn’t touch his neck,
either, if I could help it. He told me how she… she cut out his nipple. And she
told me how they first met, and the f-first few times they did it.”
“Have you seen him naked?”
“I’ve… I’ve seen him topless.”
“Okay,” Chris murmured, leaning in even further. “Listen to me. Whatever you
do, do not tie him up. Under any circumstances. Don’t undress him—let him do it
himself. He hates when people touch his ankles, and the backs of his knees.
And… there’s a brand on his thigh, on the outside, but kind of near the front.
Don’t touch it if you can. And don’t… try not to comment on it. Okay?”
“Yeah.”
“You know why.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. It’s… kind of a touchy subject, but if and when you do have sex, please,
please be gentle with him. Let him guide you. Don’t… you know. Don’t force him
to do anything. He said that you always ask before kissing him, right? That’s
good. Keep doing that.”
Dominic nodded.
“I’m only trying to look out for him. When… when he came over, that first
night, he was fucking covered in… in everything. There was blood all down his
front, and… other, y’know, stuff, just caked on him. It was really fucking
scary, b-because I hadn’t seen him in years, and… and I don’t want to see him
like that again, okay?”
“Okay.”
Chris nodded once, sitting back in his chair. “You’re a good kid, Dom. Take
care of him.”
***** Chapter 8.2: In Which Sari Gets Her Present *****
Chapter Summary
     Finally, it's been sitting in Dominic's room for weeks....
The three left Chris’s within the hour, and headed slowly back to Dominic’s
place. There, they put Sari’s presents in the corner of the living room, and
Dominic moved to the kitchen to ready her cake. The sounds of Matthew playing
with her in the other room soothed him, and he couldn’t help a smile spreading
over his face every time he heard Sari laugh.
Every time she laughed, so did Matthew. And that warmed his heart more than he
could ever describe.
Eventually, he had to call Matthew over, to help him bring the cake in. It was
small, serving probably only six people at most, but when the brunet laid his
eyes on the intricate purple designs and the deep red frosting intertwined with
it, he almost knocked it over with how quickly he pulled Dominic into a hug.
“How did you know exactly what to get?” he asked, burying his face into
Dominic’s chest.
“You told me, silly,” replied Dominic as he caressed Matthew’s head.
Matthew pulled away, his hands clutching onto Dominic’s shirt. “I love you!” he
exclaimed, a huge smile gracing his face.
“I love you too, darling.”
Matthew stood up straight, leaning upwards to kiss Dominic. The blond only
allowed their lips to meet for a few seconds, though, before he pulled away.
“Sari’s waiting,” he muttered, pressing a kiss to Matthew’s nose before he
reached for the cake once again. He quickly lit the candles, and then brought
it into the living room.
“Sari!” Matthew called, and, as soon as she saw them, she let out a squeal of
delight.
“Daddy!” she exclaimed with a giggle, clapping her hands at the sight of them.
She laughed the entire time that they sang happy birthday to her, and somehow
managed to blow out the candles through her giggles.
Matthew set the cake down, and wrapped her up in a careful hug. “Happy
birthday, darling. You’re getting so big.”
“Thank you, Daddy,” she whispered with a kiss to his cheek.
At that moment, Dominic remembered to ask, “Sari, did you get my present?”
Matthew shook his head. “I wanted to wait until you were here for her to open
it.”
“Oh,” Dominic replied, moving back to the kitchen to cut up the cake. “Well,
let’s eat, then you can open it, how does that sound?”
Sari nodded enthusiastically, and practically swallowed her piece of cake she
was given. “Mr. Dominic, this is amazing! Thank you so much!”
Dominic only smiled as he sat down next to Matthew, taking smaller bites of his
slice. He felt his boyfriend’s head rest on his shoulder, and he moved to meet
it.
After a few minutes, Matthew retrieved Dominic’s box from his room, and handed
it to Sari. The little girl opened the card, and handed it to Matthew to read.
Dominic was sure he spotted tears in his lover’s eyes as he read aloud.
When Sari opened the box, she squealed with excitement. “Daddy!” she exclaimed,
moving as fast as she could over to Matthew and shoving the box towards him.
“It’s my own really big phone! I have my own now, Daddy!”
“Really?” Matthew asked, taking a closer look at the iPad in his hands. “What
do you say to Mr. Dominic? This is really expensive.”
“Thank you thank you thank you!” she cried, throwing herself into Dominic’s
lap. “Thank you so much, oh my god! Now I have my own! I have my own, Mr.
Dominic!”
The smile never fled Dominic’s face as he watched Sari take the iPad back,
before fiddling with it and managing to turn it on. She had Matthew set it up
for her, before plopping down on the floor and fiddling with a few games.
Meanwhile, Dominic sat so close to Matthew that he was practically sitting on
top of him, and peppered his face with kisses.
The clock eventually rang nine, and Sari yawned. She was tired out from walking
all day, and needed a good rest. “Can you help me put my pajamas on, Daddy?”
she asked, raising an arm so that Matthew would help her up. He did, and within
twenty minutes, he’d returned, assuring Dominic that Sari was safely asleep.
“Long day, huh?” Dominic asked as Matthew dropped onto the sofa.
“Yeah. I’m pretty tired, I guess. But I’m really glad that Sari had a good day,
Dom. Thank you for helping.”
Dominic smiled sweetly. Moved to the couch that Matthew was sitting on.
His voice was a soft whisper when he spoke.
“Can I have a kiss?”
***** Chapter 8.3: In Which, Yes, They Finally Do It *****
Chapter Summary
     Not quite all the way, but almost there.
Dominic would never get over how soft Matthew’s lips were.
Every time he had the honor of being able to kiss them, he felt like he would
be swallowed up. They were two delicious pillows, timid and small enough to be
completely taken by his own. Despite not using lip balm, they never got
chapped, and were constantly soft. They were fucking wonderful. He loved
Matthew’s lips most, although those sharp cheekbones came second.
So when he kissed Matthew, he kissed him with a certain hunger, with a distinct
need to sink himself into his lover’s lips and never come out. He loved the
gentle swipes of Matthew’s tongue on his own mouth, and he delicately sucked on
it, allowing him to seek out the deepest ridges of his mouth.
He loved kissing Matthew.
When they pulled away for some air, breaths mingling in the tiny space between
them, Dominic asked, “Do you want to come to bed?”
The question was a risk. He knew Matthew knew the weight it carried, and saw
the realization hit him hard. His eyes widened, but Dominic said nothing—he
wanted Matthew to make the decision. Heavy silence filled the air.
Finally, Matthew nodded. “Okay.”
“I’m gonna carry you.”
Dominic’s hands wound around Matthew’s back, and he lifted him up, the brunet’s
legs wrapping around his torso. They headed towards Dominic’s bedroom, where
Dominic kicked the door closed behind them, and carefully laid Matthew on the
bed. He treated him like glass, like a fragile vase that would be broken if he
was too rough. With calculated movements, he climbed on the bed, crawling next
to his lover.
“Can I have another kiss?” He asked, barely a whisper as they both turned on
their sides to face each other.
Thin lips met his own again, this time with more fervor. Dominic’s hands found
their way to the sides of Matthew’s head, and he tangled his fingers in thick
brown locks of hair as he pulled Matthew’s head closer. He couldn’t get enough
of the smaller man next to him—from they delicacy of his lips to the tiny
breaths he felt against his cheek, from the feeling of soft palms on his
shoulders to the gentle lure of his body.
He moved closer. Dared to let their hips touch.
Matthew’s breath hitched. Dominic instantly pulled away, detaching his mouth
from his boyfriend’s. “I’m sorry,” he breathed, searching Matthew’s face for
anything.
The brunet’s eyes were closed as he pushed his hips to meet Dominic’s.
“Please,” he whispered, and Dominic let the ghost of a moan fall from his lips.
“Fuck.”
He kissed Matthew, then, rolling them so that the smaller man was atop him. He
wanted Matthew to feel in control, and apparently he did, for he gently
thrusted down. Dominic hummed contentedly into Matthew’s mouth, before
detaching himself entirely and sitting up. Before Matthew could shoot him a
confused look, though, he pulled off his shirt. “You don’t have to do the
same,” he whispered, as he started to unzip his jeans, “but I’m starting to get
hot.”
Blue irises floated down to study the toned muscle of Dominic’s chest. Sturdy
pecs and just-there abs were where his eyes seemed to stay, but the blonde
noticed they skirted over the tough muscle of his shoulders and a few veins
twisting their way down his biceps and forearms. Those veins rippled slightly
as he forced his jeans down his legs, pulling them off and tossing them off the
bed. “I’ll leave my boxers on, alright?” He laid back down on his back, and
guided Matthew to straddle his hips.
Matthew whispered something, something that Dominic didn’t catch, but then the
brunet’s shirt was off, too. Dominic couldn’t help tracing his eyes over the
marred flesh, the browning and textured scars standing out against otherwise
porcelain skin. His hands moved from their positions at his sides to hold onto
Matthew’s hips, thumbs caressing the world’s tiniest lovehandles.
When Matthew whimpered, Dominic’s hands flinched away, as if the body above him
had become electric. “No,” the brunet whispered, taking thicker hands in his
own. “Don’t stop.”
Dominic’s hands returned to hold Matthew’s waist, his index finger tracing over
a deeper scar on Matthew’s right side. Matthew sat up straighter, lifted his
hips, and pulled his jeans down off his legs. The two were then in their
boxers, one sitting atop the other, just waiting. Dominic’s fingers drew shapes
on Matthew’s skin, pads of fingertips touching dark lines.
The brunet made the first move. It was tiny, a just-barely-there thrust of his
hips. “Dom,” Matthew whispered as he rocked his hips again. When Dominic looked
down, he could see that there was a fair tent in Matthew’s boxers.
“Matthew,” Dominic whispered, “Matthew, can I t-touch you?”
“Hnng,” Matthew groaned, his neck becoming lose and his head bending to touch
his chest. His hands moved to clench in the fabric of Dominic’s boxers, just on
the sides of his hips, and he made an effort of making his thrusts more
pointed. “Y-Yes,” he eventually muttered. “Dom, p-please….”
Dominic’s breath hitched as he allowed one of his hands to slide down to that
joint between Matthew’s legs. At the first ghost of a touch, Matthew’s head
flung back and he let out a breathy moan. “Shh,” Dominic managed. “You’ll wake
Sari, love, you have to be quiet.”
“Dom, fuck!” was his only response as he bucked more forcefully into Dominic’s
lap. The blond’s hands kneaded the thick length of Matthew’s cock through his
boxers as well as he could with the growing pleasure between his legs.
“Matthew, baby, you’re so fucking beautiful,” Dominic hissed, unable to take
his eyes from Matthew’s stomach. It was flat, stretched as Matthew’s hands
moved back behind him and arched his spine. The small muscles rippled with
every movement, causing the marks on his skin to flutter as well. It shone with
a thin layer of sweat, a shimmering blanket that seemed to sparkle in the soft
light in the room.
Dominic didn’t fail to notice that Matthew’s motions had become faster, his
breaths more and more labored. His name rode out of his lover’s mouth at every
thrust, a prayer, a call, a beg for more. His hand tightened on Matthew’s cock,
and a forceful whine fell from Matthew’s lips “Fuck,” Dominic breathed, feeling
his own edge nearing. “Matt, I’m going to fucking, Matt, oh my god….”
Heavy breaths filled the air, until, all of a sudden, Matthew froze, shivered,
and came with a whimper. Dominic could feel it seeping through his boxers, and
breathed heavily as Matthew slowly ground against him, attempting to draw out
as much pleasure as he could from the aftershocks. Two, three, four thrusts
later and Dominic came with a single shout and a grunt, moving his hands up to
Matthew’s waist and squeezing as hard as he could. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he kept
repeating, pulling Matthew as close to him as possible with just the grip on
his hips.
They calmed. Sat for a few minutes as the come in their boxers dried. Matthew
fell forward, laying down on Dominic’s chest and pressing tiny kisses to the
bronze skin of his lover’s collar.
“I love you,” Matthew whispered, the words curling around Dominic’s skin. “I
love you, so much.”
“I love you too, baby,” Dominic replied as his hand caressed Matthew’s hair.
***** Chapter 9.1: In Which Matthew Realizes What He's Done *****
Chapter Summary
     And here come the tears.
Matthew awoke to the feeling of a chest rising and falling underneath him.
As his eyelids fluttered open, he took in the details—warm, bronze skin in the
form of defined pectorals greeted him first. Then, he felt the even softer
warmth of a leg nestled between his, softly nudging at his knees. Hands held
onto his head in such a manner that it seemed as if they were petting his hair
when he was asleep. His eyes glanced up to see Dominic’s head rolled to the
side, mouth ajar as he slept soundly.
The events of the night previous came back to him in a wave of emotion.
That was it. You did it. You came for the first time in months, and it was
because of him.
You made him come, too.
And you didn’t even think of her once.
Instinctively, Matthew’s hands moved to hold onto Dominic’s body below him. The
pads of his fingers danced over golden skin as he thought, as the tears welled
up in his eyes. A barrage of hate flew against his head.
Yeah, but did he really like it? Was he just going along because I wanted to?
Selfish bastard, I didn’t even ask him if he liked it. I didn’t even ask what
he wanted me to do. He probably wanted me naked. And I’m too much of a fucking
pussy to do that, of course I am, and I should’ve just fucking let him have me
any way he wanted me because I amhis.I am his, I am his, I belong to him
completely and he should be able to do whatever he wants to me. It’s not fair.
He loves me. He should’ve just took what he wanted, why didn’t he just
fuckingtakeme? I am his. I am his alone, and he should be able to have me any
way he wishes.
Matthew didn’t realize he was crying until he felt the hand in his hair start
to move. “Hey,” came the croak from above him, “what’s wrong? Matt?”
A few sniffles, and then Matthew started to bawl. His body curled up
reflexively, pushing itself into Dominic’s touch as hands caressed his head. He
didn’t care that his tears were seeping right onto Dominic’s skin—he only
wanted his lover to hold him.
“I’m sorry,” he kept whispering through the tears. “I’m sorry, I l-let you
down, I let you down, I’m sorry, Dom, I’m so sorry….”
Dominic said nothing. He just wove his fingers through strands of brunet hair,
quietly shushing Matthew and waiting until he was composed.
Eventually, once the sniffles had subsided, he asked, “Why are you crying,
love?”
“You… I don’t understand,” he tried to articulate, “why y-you didn’t go all the
way. I… I don’t understand. Didn’t you—Don’t you l-love me?”
“Of course.”
“Th-Then why didn’t you take me?”
As Matthew gazed expectantly at Dominic’s face, he noticed the expression had
morphed from concern to dread. “Matt, baby, no,” he whispered. “No, Matt, no,
you… I love you. But I d-don’t want to take advantage of you, darling, I don’t
want to do that to you. Are you—Are you upset about wh-what we did yesterday?”
“N-No. I loved it, but… I don’t understand, if I’m yours, then why… why don’t
you t-take me? I b-belong to you, if you love me, a-and you should be doing…
you should be doing whatever you want to me, then, right?”
For some reason, Matthew saw Dominic’s heart break. His pupils dilated, his jaw
clenched, and his eyebrows fell, all in a split second, and it frightened
Matthew. Until the blond began to speak.
“Matt. You… you’ve had bad experiences with—with sex, alright? Gaia, she taught
you that—that sex is the only way to show someone that you love them. And it
isn’t. A-And just because I love you doesn’t mean that I have to… that I have
to do whatever I want to you.” He paused, his voice breaking on the last few
words. “Matt, baby, I love you. You aren’t a thing, darling, you—you aren’t a
thing. You’re a person, a person with as many emotions and thoughts and quirks
as any other. Nobody has the right to just… direct you, least of all me. Love
isn’t—it’s not just me taking from you, darling, it really isn’t. And I… I
just—I hate that that happened to you, Matthew, love, I hate that you have to
suffer with this misconception that you need to just give to me. Look at me,
baby,” he added, as Matthew’s eyes had shifted away.
He did so. Dominic’s hands rose to frame his face, and his eyes were so open to
him, wide and grey and inviting. “I am never going to take anything from you.
Until… until you feel comfortable, I’m always going to ask you if I want
something. It is your choice, Matt. Everything it your choice. Don’t—don’t
think that you need to become a thing for me to use. You don’t belong to me,
love. We belong to each other, alright?” Silent tears were making their way
down the sides of Dominic’s face, but he ignored them, opting to hold Matt
tighter. “We are here for each other. I am never going to let you be forced
into a situation like the one you were in ever again. You deserve the whole
world, baby, you deserve everything good on this earth. Don’t think for one
second that you owe me anything, okay? Matt?”
The brunet was in shock. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he
wasn’t just Dominic’s, that he was equally deserving of everything that he
wanted Dominic to have. Apparently, his face showed that, because Dominic
pulled him down into his chest, and whispered into his hair, “You don’t need to
understand yet. But I’ll do everything in my power to make sure that one day
you do.”
Matthew could feel Dominic’s heart pounding in his chest.
***** Chapter 9.2: In Which Matthew Gets A Call Back *****
Chapter Summary
     We are nearing an end.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
After the unexpected early-morning cry, Dominic got up for a shower, leaving
Matthew to pick out a new pair of boxers and shower in the other bathroom.
Matthew noticed that Sari was still blissfully asleep in the guest room as he
passed it, and he let a tiny smile grace his lips.
He had a quick shower. When he got out, she was awake, and playing some sort of
game on her iPad. “Sari?” he asked, and she turned towards him.
“Hi, Daddy.”
“Come on, let’s go have breakfast. Brush your teeth first, okay?”
She nodded, and hobbled off the bed and into the bathroom. Matthew, in the
meantime, sook out Dominic, who happened to be in the living room, watching
some random show. “Hi,” Matthew whispered shyly, and he was greeted with a warm
smile.
“Come here,” replied Dominic, opening his arms. Matthew fell into them with a
giggle, and the two snuggled together, leaning as far into the sofa as they
could.
Sari emerged from the bathroom. “Daddy, I’m hungry.”
Matthew flinched at the words. Without a second thought, he got up and grabbed
a chocolate yogurt from the fridge, handing it to her, along with a spoon.
“Daddy, you said these were only—”
“Only for dessert, I know,” Matthew interrupted, “but today’s special. It’s
your first day as a six-year-old! Live a little, darling.”
Sari laughed, and sat on the couch right next to Dominic. “Mr. Dominic, thank
you for the best birthday ever.”
Dominic smiled. “No problem, baby.”
As Matthew sat down, his phone buzzed. He took it off the table to notice a
text from an unknown number.
???: You didn’t come in for your follow up. Come immediately. Bring the folder.
Dr. Tang.
“Shit,” Matthew whispered, causing Sari to gasp and Dominic to turn in
surprise.
“Daddy, that’s a bad word!” Sari said in a hushed shout, but Matthew completely
ignored her.
“It’s Dr. Tang. I forgot to go in for my follow-up a while ago, Dom. Do… do you
want to watch Sari for me, while I go in? I need to find the folder, too.”
Surprisingly, Dominic shook his head. “We should all go in, I think. This is
going to be important for you, you shouldn’t be alone.”
Matthew shrugged. “Okay. Can you help me look for the folder?”
“What does it look like?” Dominic asked, getting up.
“It’s manila, with ‘Documents’ written on the tab in black marker. It should be
about an inch thick.”
They gathered Sari into her wheelchair, along with her things, and headed over
to Matthew’s house, where they set out looking for the folder. It wasn’t in
Matthew’s room, nor in his safe (where, the brunet noticed, his gun wasn’t,
either. Dominic had mentioned putting it away somewhere secret).
Meanwhile, Dominic searched through boxes that were shoved in Matthew’s closet,
looking through boxes of old tapes and clothes and documents.
“Found it!” he announced when he reached the bottom of the third box. The
folder was frayed at the edges, white and papery flakes falling from the
corners. And it was big, about an inch and a half thick, kept shut by two
binder clips.
Matthew took the folder into his hands, holding it for a second. His spidery
fingers flipped through the corners, a bit of dust flying out from the insides.
“Thank you,” he replied, and they headed out. Took a cab to the hospital. The
entire time, Sari was occupied by her iPad, and the two men were occupied with
each other, occasional kisses pressed to cheeks and temples.
When they reached the hospital, Dominic didn’t fail to notice that Matthew had
become rather shaky. “It’s okay,” he whispered as they unfolded Sari’s
wheelchair and started to head in. “You’ll be fine. We’re gonna be right here.”
Matthew nodded.
They walked in.
Chapter End Notes
     Short, shitty, much like the last chapters of Overcoming.
***** Chapter 9.3: In Which They Go Over A Few Things *****
Chapter Summary
     For the record.
“Can I see Dr. Tang?” Matthew asked the receptionist. “She requested that I
come in for a follow up at once.” He gave the woman his name, birthday, and
identification.
The redheaded woman looked at the screen of the computer before her, then a few
papers, then her screen again. “Of course. She’ll be in room D 121. Have a good
day, sirs,” she added, as they headed towards a long, white hallway that they
had never been through before.
The tiny sign for room D 121 almost hid from their eyes, but they spotted it,
and took a deep breath before they pushed the curtain aside and walked in. At
the desk sat the doctor, her legs crossed and her eyes facing a computer on her
desk. “Matthew,” she said, and the three of them shuffled into the room. “I’m
going to take Sari down to the kids’ room, okay? She doesn’t need to hear
this.”
Reluctantly, and probably only because he trusted the doctor, he let her lead
his daughter to a separate room. When Dr. Tang came back, she was with another
woman, one two looked just like her. “Matthew, Dom, this is my sister, Dr.
Stacey Tang.”
The two men shook her hand.
“I’ve been introduced briefly to your case,” Stacey said, and they all sat
around a table that had been placed in the middle of the room, “but I need to
know more before I start anything. So, before I start asking you questions,
allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dr. Stacey Tang, I’m Jess’s twin
sister. I’m a lawyer, specializing in cases of rape and serious bodily injury.
I’m assuming that you are Matthew, but you are…?” she asked Dominic.
“I’m Dom, his partner. Boyfriend. I want to help as much as I can.”
“Okay. Now, Matthew,” she directed to the brunet, whose hand had started to
creep towards Dominic’s, “Jess told you to bring a folder. Do you have it?”
“Er, y-yes,” Matthew stuttered, placing it on the table with trembling hands.
“This… this has everything. I’ve t-tried to keep it relatively updated, but I
haven’t… I haven’t added anything from the past few weeks.”
“That’s fine. Let me have a look, if you don’t mind.”
Matthew nodded, and she took the binder clip off. Her fingers rifled through
the papers, and she eventually closed the manila lining. “Matthew. I’m going to
record you, now. This recording, if you wish, will never leave this room. This
is for my personal understanding, okay?”
The brunet nodded, swallowing as Stacey placed her phone on a counter on the
other side of the room, so the video would record everyone.
“This is Dr. Stacey Tang, here with Dr. Jessica Tang, MD. I am currently
interviewing Mr. Matthew James Bellamy, suspected victim of rape, kidnapping
and physical assault, along with his partner, Mr. Dom…?”
“Howard. Dominic James Howard,” Dominic clarified.
“Mr. Dominic James Howard. Now, Matt—May I call you Matt?”
“Yeah.”
“Matt, I’m going to show you a few of these photographs. Just react to them as
you normally would, okay?”
Matthew nodded. He was holding tightly onto Dominic’s arm.
Stacey pulled out a photo of Gaia. “Who is this?” she asked, making sure that
the video captured the stone-cold face of the print.
“This is G-Gaia Polloni,” Matthew whispered.
“And who is this woman to you, Matt?”
“She’s… she’s a lot of things. She’s the mother of my child, she… she kept me
in her house for seven years. She—She did it to me almost every day of those
seven years.”
“What is it, Matt? Please be specific.” The brunet swallowed, and Stacey put
the photograph down. “If it gets too much, feel free to stop. Take as much time
as you need.”
Muted breaths filled the room, as Matthew closed his eyes. His hands were
clenched tightly onto Dominic’s sleeve, so much so that the knuckles had
whitened as much as possible. “She r-raped me. I… I know that no one will
believe it, but she did. When I was twelve, she put… she brought me to her
house, and k-kissed me. But then, when I turned th-thirteen, she… it turned to,
y’know, actual s-sex. Then it w-was the punishment, y’know, l-like… she’d call
me a—oh, god, she’d call me a ‘b-bad boy’ and… and she’d hit me a lot, y’know?
When I was fifteen, I m-moved in with her, and I… I think I left the house only
a handful of times before I t-t-turned twenty-two. When… When I was twenty-two,
I escaped. With Sari.”
“And who is Sari, Matt?”
“My little girl.”
“Okay, and Sari, was she born in the house?”
“N-No, one of the few times I left was to go to the hospital with Gaia.”
“How old is Ms. Polloni?”
“She’s fifty-one.”
“And how old are you, for the record?”
“I’m t-twenty two, still.”
“Okay. Thank you, Matt,” Stacey said, gathering her phone from the counter. “I
just needed a bit of reaction to rewatch later. I may ask you for more later,
if that’s okay.”
Matthew nodded. “As… as long as you’re gonna make it better. I just want Sari
to be happy, yeah? I just don’t want her to have to worry about her m-mother.”
“So, everything you said, really happened?”
“Yes.” Matthew’s breaths were shaky.
“I’m going to ask you about a few more pictures, Matt.”
The brunet nodded.
Stacey slid one towards them that made him want to vomit.
***** Chapter 9.4: In Which They Come To A Conclusion *****
Chapter Summary
     And so, they reach the end.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“This is you, correct?”
“Y-Yes,” he replied carefully, swallowing loudly. He felt Dominic stiffen as he
craned his neck to get a better look at the picture.
“When was this picture taken?”
“O-On the night I escaped. Th-This is at the hospital, at the… at the hospital,
right after I went to Chris’s house.”
“And this all happened the night you escaped?”
“Not all of it. I… the blood, the—the jizz, it’s from that night. M-Most of
them are old.”
“Matt, this is a very personal question, and feel free to say no, but… may I
look at your scars?”
The brunet swallowed. “Matt—” Dominic whispered, but he interrupted him.
“Yes.”
With a shiver, he rose from his seat, and pulled off his tee. Everything in the
room seemed to get ten times heavier, the air ten times thicker as three looked
at one. Dominic couldn’t help his breath from catching as he got a better view
of that deep scar on his side, an angry maroon stripe that started at his
hipbone and ended near his armpit. Stacey looked him over, too, but more with
concern than admiration. “Matt,” she said, her words chosen carefully. “When we
bring your case to court, and you testify, the defense may ask t—”
“Wait, what?” Matthew asked, hunching his shoulders slightly. “I have… I have
to testify?”
“I mean, it’s standard procedure to have the victim testify in a rape case.
Otherwise, the case is weak.”
Matthew balled his shirt in his hands and held it close to his chest. “I… I
don’t know. I don’t know. What if she’s there? Is she gonna be able to hear
everything I say? I don’t want to—I don’t want to testify if she’s there.”
“And I’ll do my best to help you with that,” Stacey assured him, “but if the
defense asks you to show them your scars, are you going to be okay with that? I
could always use pictures, but it’s more convincing, usually, to show them in
person.”
A breath. Silence. Stiffness.
Then, “Okay. I’ll do it, if it’s more convincing.” He then put his shirt back
on and sat back down, right next to Dominic.
“So, it’s settled?” Jessica asked. “Stacey’s an excellent lawyer, Matthew. And
I’ll gladly testify for you. I’m sure Dominic will, and, as a very last resort,
we can have the judge interview Sari.”
“What are we going to be trying her for?”
“Well,” Stacey said, handing Matthew back the folder and standing up, “once the
police get her, she’ll be tried for two counts of kidnapping—one for you, one
for Sari—child abuse, a count of rape for every time you can remember,
statutory rape for all times before you were 18, domestic violence, and sexual
assault. It’s a lot, but we can do it, if we want to bring her to justice.”
Blue irises turned to the ground. “How much is this gonna cost?”
“Nothing,” Dominic interjected, “because I’m going to pay for it.”
Stacey gave them a tight-lipped smile. “Well, I’m going to copy your folder,
Matt, then I’ll be on my way. Expect a call from me in about a week, yeah? If
they find her, tell me. I’m going to work as hard as I can to make sure she
gets what she deserves.”
Matthew nodded. “Thank you, Dr. Tang, and you too, Dr. Tang.”
The two gave him warm smiles, and Jessica announced that she’d be back with
Sari in a few minutes.
As soon as the room was empty, Matthew fell into Dominic’s arms. “I love you,”
he whispered.
“I love you too. You’re going to be okay. We’re going to find her, and all will
be well.”
He was finally certain of those words.
Chapter End Notes
     That's it!
     I kind of hoped that I could upload this and be relieved, but I'm
     kind of just... empty. I'm working on a short story and a one shot,
     so hopefully those can be up soon. I put this up so quickly because I
     made a joke about it that didn't really end that well. Probably
     because I'm a thick bastard and don't understand a lot.
     I don't know if or when I will continue this series. I need some
     time, some more research, and, honestly, I kind of need a break.
     Thanks for reading.
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