Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/11572077. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Teen_Wolf_(TV) Relationship: Stiles_Stilinski/Jackson_Whittemore, Theo_Raeken/Stiles_Stilinski, Brunski/Stiles_Stilinski Character: Stiles_Stilinski, Gerard_Argent, Theo_Raeken, Brunski_(Teen_Wolf), Jackson_Whittemore, Sheriff_Stilinski, Melissa_McCall, Jordan_Parrish, Malia_Tate, Scott_McCall, Peter_Hale, Chris_Argent Additional Tags: Kidnapped_Stiles, Traumatized_Stiles, Implied_Relationships, Kanima Venom, Paralysis, Alternate_Season/Series_04, Hospitalization, stiles_is not_ok, Stiles-centric, Knotting, Facials, Temporary_Amnesia, Date_Rape Drug/Roofies, inexperienced_stiles, off_screen_death(s) Stats: Published: 2017-07-22 Words: 5164 ****** Say It Isn't So ****** by SlasherFiend Summary In a AU where Gerard continued to control Jackson, things go south super fast for Stiles when he tries to work with the Argents. Chris has no idea what's going on or what his father's up to. Then Stiles ends up in a warehouse with Jackson, Theo, and Brunski. It's like his worst nightmare came true. Notes Gerard drugs Stiles with kanima venom before kidnapping him. Stiles gets taken to a warehouse where he is raped by Theo, Brunski, and Jackson. Stiles recalls the event to his father in bits and pieces and feels ashamed for what happened. If ANY of this makes uncomfortable, please turn back now. Again, this is graphic non-con, click the back button if you're not ok reading it. Italics is Stiles's thoughts. this AU has it that Gerard wasn't immobilized at the end of season two and controlled Jackson to kill more people. But Jackson left for a year (season three), to visit Issac, only to come back. Brunski didn't die in season four, instead was only fired and Theo showed up sooner. I had more details but I forgot, so hopefully this makes sense. See the end of the work for more notes Chris didn’t know about this, right? He couldn’t have known.   Stiles found himself stumbling though the Argent’s apartment. Where is Chris?   Gerard was calmly following. “Leaving so soon?”   Stiles knew he had to reach the door, he had to, if he could just will his foot in front of the other…Stiles felt fear tingle down his spine as his limbs locked up and then he was falling to the floor. Shit, shit, shit. Why did I take that drink? Why did I think I could trust Gerard? Why would I let myself be alone with the man who was responsible for blinding Deucalion?   “Oh dear, seems you’ve taken a spill. I know how painful that can be, let me help you up.”   “No.” There is fucking kanima venom running through my veins, like Hell I’m going to let you help me. But Stiles could only protest.   The older man grabbed him under the armpits and pulled him to his feet.   “How are you going to explain this?”   “Explain this? To who? Your father? He doesn’t know you’re here.”   Well no but…   “Unless you mean explaining this to Christopher. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”   Stiles closed his eyes; he didn’t like the sound of that.   Gerard dragged Stiles to the door. With a grunt, something was thrown over Stiles’s head, it was a black coat.   Gerard opened the door and took Stiles down the hall, past the elevator, and to the emergency exit. They slowly went down the stairs and out to the back parking lot.   Stiles was placed in the back seat of Gerard’s van and soon Gerard drove off.   Stiles faced the seat so he didn’t know where they were going. Glancing down, under the coat to the opposite window didn’t give much in terms of landmarks. Though Stiles did notice when they went downtown.   They passed lots of buildings, some which were empty, then as they went, even more that were empty.   Stiles swallowed hard.   If Gerard needed to do…whatever he had planned in an empty place it wasn’t going to be good. It almost made Stiles wish the older man would just beat him like he had two years ago. That at least Stiles could handle, this was unexpected and Stiles was terrified.   Eventually they turned into a garage and parked.   Stiles tried to will his limbs to move.   The door opened and Gerard pulled Stiles out.   Stiles tried to drag his heels, as soon as they hit gravel, just to slow Gerard down. It did nothing.   Gerard let out a grunt. “Now, Stiles you don’t want to make this harder on yourself.”   “Make what harder? Where are we? Where did you take me?”   Gerard paused and opened a door.   Stiles wanted to shake the coat off his head. He was dragged through a hallway, then around a corner, then through another hallway, then around corner, and then into a large room, through a set of double doors.   “Gentlemen, I appreciate you waiting.” Gerard sounded pleased but also like that word didn’t match the description of the people in the room.   The coat was taken from Stiles’s face and he saw-no this had to be a dream, a nightmare! He shut his eyes and breathed. This isn’t real, this isn’t real. He opened his eyes, glanced down at his hand and counted five fingers. It’s real, oh God it’s real.   “He’s scared,” Theo said, standing with a smug grin on his face.   “Not scared, just uneasy. You would be too if you were suddenly faced with a room of people you had hoped were all dead.”   There was a hiss and Jackson in his kanima form came closer, from out of the shadows.   “Stiles,” Gerard warned. “Jackson doesn’t take insults lightly. You don’t want him to rip you apart, do you?”   Jackson came forward, his tail curling around Stiles’s leg.   Stiles shivered. “No,” he whispered.   "Why don’t you apologize?” Brunski got up from the chair he was sitting in.   There were a few folding chairs all facing Stiles.   Why are they all here? What does Gerard want with them? “Don’t have to. Gerard’s in charge, right? So, unless he says I have to…”   Brunski turned to Gerard. The orderly’s face clouded over, that must have been a no.   “Relax, Lou. The boy just has an active mouth.”   Theo snorted. “Maybe we can put it to better use?”   “Fuck you.”   Gerard tsked. “Jackson, be a good lad and get rid of his clothes.”   “What?”   Suddenly Jackson was in Stiles’s face, claws ripping and shredding his clothes, his hoodie, his pants and-and his boxers off his body.   “Hey! Wait!”   Jackson didn’t stop till Stiles was naked; goose pimples arose all over his skin.   Brunski made a sound of approval. “Now I wish I had done more than touch you while you were in Eichen.”   Stiles’s stomach rolled in disgust at the thought, because he didn’t remember that.   Theo scoffed. “He’s not much to look at.”   “That’s not the point,” Gerard told him.   No? “Then what are we doing here? Why are they here? Why am I naked?” Stiles was on the edge of fear turning into anger.   Gerard had his hand on Stiles’s shoulder, to keep the teen on his feet. “Jackson, show him why I went to all this trouble.”   Stiles opened his mouth, to talk; it was his only defense, then Jackson flicked his tongue out, catching on Stiles’s lips.   Stiles made a noise, pressing his lips together.   “He just wants to make you feel good.” Gerard squeezed Stiles’s shoulder.   Stiles wanted to shake his head. Feel good? He’s a kanima, nothing about him is good! Stiles blinked, Jackson turned back into himself.   “Come on Stilinski, are you that stupid? Just let me kiss you.”   “What?” Stiles blurted before Jackson grabbed him and kissed him.   Stiles’s surprise was muffled by Jackson’s mouth, and then his tongue pressed in.   Why? Why is this happening? Why is Jackson kissing me? He’s straight!   Stiles made a questioning sound as Jackson pressed something small in against his back teeth.   What-?   Jackson pulled back, hand cupping Stiles’s chin, then gave a slight push.   The tablet broke.   Fuck! No, what was that? What is this? Stiles forced all his energy to spit it out, but Jackson clapped a hand to Stiles’s mouth, pinching his nose.   Stiles waited, he would be stubborn, if just to spite Jackson.   Jackson snarled as Stiles continued to refuse and his vision started to grow dark. “You did this to yourself.”   Stiles passed out.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Stiles awoke, his head was foggy, and he was on his side on the floor. How kind of them to just let me fall over. He blinked open his eyes and spotted Brunski and Jackson sitting some feet away.   Where was Theo?   Why do I care? I hope the fucker’s run off to play in traffic. I wonder if the kanima venom’s worn off.Stiles attempted to move and couldn’t. So that’s a no. He felt a warm body against his back, a hand on his shoulder. What? What’s going on?   “Took you long enough,” Theo grunted. “I was wondering how long you were going to be out.” He pressed against Stiles, moving, almost thru-   No! No! NO! “Get out of me!”   Theo chuckled. “Not now since you finally woke up.” Theo gave a hard thrust; Stiles groaned and tried moving again. Theo huffed. “Where’s all the fight now? Got nothing when you got a cock in your ass?” He chuckled and thrust again.   Stiles tried to focus on the cool concrete. “Whadya give me?” He blinked; Brunski was kneeling in front of him. When did he-?   The orderlies’ hands were on Stiles’s face, caressing his cheeks, opening his mouth.   Stiles groaned. No, what are they doing? I don’t-I don’t want-   “How does he feel?” Gerard asked from somewhere behind Stiles.   Brunski groaned as he slid his hard cock into Stiles’s mouth. “Hot and so fucking good.”   Gross. Stiles shut his eyes.   Theo panted softly. “Tight-fuck-clenching around me now.”   Because I want you out of me! Get out!  Stiles really wanted to be able to move, he wanted to bite down on Brunski’s dick.   There was a hard slap to Stiles’s face.   He blinked his honey gold eyes open, Brunski was still there.   Stiles tried to snarl.   “Almost missed the best part.” Brunski grunted, stroking himself.   Don’t want to see that, nope, need some brain bleach.   Brunski panted harshly as he stroked himself for another moment.   Uh no, tell me he’s not going to-   Brunski groaned loudly as he came, hot seed splashing across Stiles’s cheek, into his mouth.   Stiles whimpered, he felt bile rise in the back of his throat and he dry heaved. Gross, gross, gross. Gonna need to scrub my tongue with a whole tube of toothpaste. This is not how I wanted to taste dick. Stiles sighed as Brunski got up.   Stiles shut his eyes again. Maybe if I do nothing they’ll leave me alone. He felt claws dig into his hip and he gasped, opening his eyes with a groan. “Theo,” he grumbled.   “You talk more when you’re not drifting. Maybe he needs something to keep him occupied?”   “How are you still going? You’re just a chimera, a fake werewolf.”   Theo rolled his hips and Stiles jerked.   That felt…Why did that feel good?   “We have longer stamina. And I was waiting; your cock isn’t as interested when you’re out of it.”   What? No, I’m not…I can’t be…Stiles glanced down his body to see his cock bobbing, hard, in between his closed legs.   Stiles tried to wiggle, to fight. No, I’m not! I can’t-I don’t like this! I don’t want this! I’m not getting off on this! I’m not. He wanted to cry.   Theo pressed against that spot again and Stiles let out a whine.   Fuck. Why-why am I enjoying this? I shouldn’t be enjoying this. I don’t like this, I don’t want this. I don’t want Theo fucking Raeken in my ass! Stiles pressed against the concrete, trying to focus on that feeling instead of being numb.   Theo pressed on that bundle of nerves again and Stiles bit back a sob.   I don’t…why is this happening? Why am I hard? God…   Theo huffed. “He’s really upset, it’s disgusting.”   “Are you going to cry Stiliniski?” Jackson seemed perfectly calm with being naked around two grown men.   Wouldn’t you if you were being-if this was happening to you? Stiles shuddered as Theo reached around to tease his nipple.   “I think he needs to take his mind off this,” Gerard told Jackson, who then went over to Stiles.   “N-no.” Stiles’s heart hammered in his chest. This is bad, so much worse than Eichen or Brunski trying to kill me…Why is this happening to me?   Jackson got down in front of Stiles’s legs and took his cock in his mouth.   “Ffuuuck.” Stiles’s head swam with pleasure and the fog of the drug, he ignored Theo behind him.   After a moment, Stiles panted, “I thought you were all straight? I don’t mind the attention really, but ah-fuck!” Stiles wanted to move so desperately.   “Didn’t Scott tell you?” Theo asked.   God just how long do you last? Finish already!   “Werewolf sexuality is fluid.”   “But neither of you are werewolves.” Stiles gave a small cry as Theo dug his claws into his hip, growling.   “Does this feel fake to you?”   “Mr. Raeken,” Gerard started to say.   Theo snorted. “Don’t think you can order me around. I came here willingly; I didn’t need your bribe to say yes to this. Besides, a few small marks can’t hurt. Just giving him something to remember us by.”   Stiles closed his eyes; he didn’t want to see anymore. I can just ignore them and hope-and hope that they go away.   Suddenly there were sharp teeth digging into Stiles’s hard flesh.   He cried out, eyes snapping open.   Jackson pulled off Stiles’s cock. “If you’re going to come from this, we need you awake.”   Why do they keep saying that? What did they give me? Also, no I don’t want to come from this; I prefer my own hand thank you very much.   Jackson took Stiles back in his mouth and sucked.   It didn’t take long before Stiles groaned and then gave a soft cry, coming. Oh man, oh fuck, that just happened. But I didn’t…I didn’t want that, it just felt really good, so good, sooo good. Stiles closed his eyes again.   Something soft and wet trailed over his face…   Ugh, what...? Stiles opened his eyes.   Jackson in his kanima form was licking Stiles’s face.   “I’m awake.” Just let me sleep so I can forget this.   Jackson moved back, Stiles could see Brunski had his hand in his pants.   “You ruined my masterpiece.”   No, don’t talk, it’s just creepy.   “Almost there,” Theo panted.   “Got a problem? Need some werewolf Viagra?”   Theo’s fingers wound into Stiles’s hair and pulled.   Stiles hissed.   “Just waiting to hear you scream again.”   Stiles shuddered.   Theo thrust hard into Stiles for a few moments, before he dragged his claws down Stiles’s back, making him cry out. “Louder.” He slashed at Stiles’s back, making him scream.   “Stop! Stop!”   Theo groaned and thrust twice more before he came.   Stiles retched, dry heaving again.   Theo tsked. “It’s not that bad.”   I was just ra-defiled-you have no say! Stiles glared at Jackson, since he couldn’t see Gerard. “Why? Why are you doing this? What do you get out of them doing this to me?”   Jackson turned to Gerard.   “Is this about Chris? Because he trusts us more than you?” Stiles swore he could feel his anger forcing the venom from his body. “Chris is a better man than you could ever be.”   Theo thrust against Stiles again, something pushed against his hole, more flesh?   Huh? The flesh stretched Stiles, who hissed, and then Theo settled.   Gerard came over. He crouched down behind Stiles. “The only reason I trust this abomination to do what he wants to you is to teach your father a lesson.”   Stiles’s blood ran cold. Dad? What does he-?   “He should have stayed in his place, let my family handle the creatures in Beacon Hills.”   “If your family had its way my best friend would be dead. Jackson would be dead, Lydia too, all my friends would be dead because of your family’s stupid code. Chris is just doing what he thinks is right, what Allison thought was right. And my dad’s included. They’re trying to keep the innocent people, the innocent humans, safe. Not everyone has to die.”   Gerard shook his head. “You’re just a boy; you don’t understand the real world.” He got up. “Finish up,” he told the others, before walking over to Jackson.   Brunski came over.   Really again? Stiles stared at the orderlies’ shoes.   “This is what you were made for, to be used and fucked, painted with other’s come.” He grunted, twisting his wrist and came, splattering onto Stiles’s cheek.   Stiles shut his eyes, tears threatening to well up. Stop, just stop! Go away or just let me go! I want to go home.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Stiles opened his eyes and everyone was gone.   He blinked, wiggling his fingers. The venom was wearing off, he could move; get up and out of here!   He wriggled, trying to ignore the dry come on his face, in between his thighs…   “Stiles?” someone called.   “Dad?”   There were footsteps.   “Noah, wait,” Chris hissed.   “I-I can’t move! Gerard fed me kanima venom…”   Someone came up behind Stiles, there was a growl.   Stiles bit his lip in fear, and then was rolled over, face to face with Peter.   “Where did they go?” Peter’s eyes were glowing blue.   “I don’t know. How long have I been here?”   Chris and Noah came up beside Peter. “Three hours,” Chris replied.   Stiles opened his mouth, because that couldn’t be right?   “Peter and I are going to clear the rest of the building.”   The sheriff nodded.   The two men walked off and once they were gone, a door clanging shut behind them, Noah got down to hug Stiles, who hissed as the wounds on his back were pressed on. “Sorry.”   Stiles sniffed. Sure, now I can cry.   “No one knew where you were and Scott called after getting a hold of Chris and Peter. Chris only knew his father was involved when Scott picked up your scent in the apartment. And then we checked the tapes, I had Parrish put out an APB on Gerard’s car…”   “’m sorry Dad. I thought Gerard was going to help, that he only wanted to talk, I didn’t realize…I had no idea he was going to-to kidnap me.”   Noah hushed Stiles, patting his back, trying not to touch the dried blood. “It’s ok, you’re safe now. We can get you to the hospital once Chris and Peter come back.”   Stiles sat up after a moment and cried into his dad’s shoulder.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Eventually Noah’s cell phone rang.   “We’ve cleared the building, but Peter’s caught a few different scents; it wasn’t just my father here with Stiles,” Chris said.   Noah sighed. “I’m going to take him to the hospital. I trust you’ve got this covered and will get the rest of Scott’s pack to help if you need it.”   “We’ll follow the scents and Peter will signal if we need their help.” There was a click as Chris hung up.   “Ok. Let’s get you up kiddo.” Noah stood and bent to help Stiles up.   “Dad, wait, there’s all the-they got-you can’t pick me up.”   “It’s alright; Parrish and Deputy Clark will be here soon to take care of this. But right now, we need to get you to see Melissa.” Noah gathered Stiles up into his arms and walked towards the exit.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Stiles awoke in a hospital bed and sat up, nearly falling out as he was on his side.   He rolled over. What happened? How did I get here? Why-?   “Stiles,” Melissa came over to his side, resting a hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright.”   “What am I doing here?”   “What’s the last thing you remember?”   Stiles’s brow furrowed as he thought back. “I went to visit Gerard Argent and he drugged me with kanima venom. He took me-he took me somewhere, I don’t know where it was, I think it was downtown? And Jackson was there, and Theo, and the orderly from Eichen…Brunski. They stripped me…” Stiles shook his head. “I don’t remember-they must have drugged me with something else…” He was on the verge of tears. “Why can’t I remember?”   “It’s ok, alright? Your dad brought you in, he’s waiting outside. I’ll go get him, but you’re going to have to stay on your side, your back is covered with bandages.”   Stiles nodded and rolled back over.   Melissa was gone about half a minute before she was back with Noah.   “Hey squirt. How are you feeling?”   “Rested, but dad…you brought me in? I don’t remember that.”   Noah glanced at Melissa, then Stiles. “You don’t?”   “The last thing he remembers is being taken to the warehouse and stripped naked,” Melissa answered.   Noah turned, walking over to the door with her, to talk privately. “Was a rape kit run yet?”   Melissa shook her head. “Not exactly. We photographed his body, took samples of the seminal fluid but the rest of the exam he has to consent to.”   Noah nodded. “I know that, it’s just…he remembers who was there, but not what they did to him…”   “It’s not like the standard rules of law and order apply here when one suspect is a chimera and the other is a kanima.”   “But the other two are human, I can do something about that, in fact I should do something about that.”   Melissa placed a hand on his chest, as he was going to leave the room. “Can it wait? Stay while I ask Stiles if he wants to do the rest of the exam, he might want you here.”   Noah nodded and went back over to Stiles.   “Stiles.” Melissa walked over to Stiles’s side so she wasn’t talking to his back. “You know what a rape kit is?”   Stiles glanced at his dad, then Melissa. He nodded slowly. “Is that what they- did they-?” Stiles’s eyes welled with tears, he grabbed at Noah’s arm.   Noah leaned closer and Stiles clung to him.   “I don’t remember, dad. What did they do to me?”   “Stiles, it’s alright, we’ll find them.” Noah ran a hand through his son’s hair.   “Stiles,” Melissa tried after a moment, as the boy cried silently, shuddering breaths wracked his frame. “If we do the rest of the exam, we’ll take blood so we can know what they drugged you with.”   Stiles nodded. “I know that, but…” He looked up at her. “What’s the point?”   Melissa looked at Noah, like she wanted him to say something.   “The kit can be used to put Brunksi and Gerard away," Noah told him.   Stiles let out a forced laugh. “Brunksi already lost his job at Eichen, what use would there be to put him in jail? And Gerard…they still have money and unless Chris can do something…” Stiles attempted to shrug.   “Can you let us do this sweetie? Your dad will be here through the whole thing.”   Stiles swallowed. I know what’s included…I don’t want dad to see this.“It’s ok. Dad, maybe Scott’s called?”   Noah pulled back slowly from Stiles. “Are you sure?”   Stiles nodded.   “Alright, Melissa will do the exam, I’ll be outside.” Noah left.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Later, Stiles awoke; he had barely registered falling asleep, and noticed it was dark outside.   The door to his room opened.   “Stiles,” Scott breathed, rushing over to his friend’s side.   “Hey Scott.” Stiles was still a little sleepy from the fluids in his IV.   “How are you feeling?”   “Sore, but I think your mom gave me some morphine to help with that.”   Scott took hold of Stiles’s hand and drained some of the lingering pain away.   Stiles sighed, closing his eyes.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Stiles drifted slightly awake later when Melissa changed his bandages on his back before passing out.   When Stiles woke fully, light was catching on the grey cloudy morning sky out his window.   Malia sat in a chair next to his bed. “Hey.”   “When did you get here?” Stiles yawned.   “I don’t know, what time is it?” Malia pulled her phone out of her pocket and glanced at it. “A while.”   Stiles smiled softly. “Did Scott tell you to keep an eye on me?”   “No, he and Lydia are with Chris and Peter. Didn’t want me around my dad…”   “Why?” What’s Peter done?   “He killed Brunski and Gerard.”   “And Jackson and Theo?”   Malia shook her head. “No, Lydia texted about Jackson, I guess as soon as Gerard died Jackson collapsed and shifted into a werewolf.”   “Oh.” Finally got what he wanted. It’s been a long time coming. I wonder if he cares about it anymore. “So, you’re here because…?”   “Blood-lust, I would have joined in with Peter if I was anywhere near the bodies.”   Stiles nodded. “There goes my dad’s hope of using the evidence to put Gerard and Brunski away.” He glanced up at Malia. “Chris was ok with Peter killing his dad?”   Malia shrugged. “Maybe? I wasn’t there; you’d have to ask him.”   “Why does Peter care about what they did to me though?”   Malia stared at him. “You’re pack. Peter’s not an active member, but he’s still part of it and no one gets away with hurting someone in his pack.” Her phone buzzed. “It’s Scott, Lydia’s taking Jackson home. I guess they’re going to talk.”   Stiles hummed. Lot to talk about there, like Jackson being on the bad guys’ side.   “Liam and Hayden are going to find Theo; Scott’s going to catch up with them, just in case. I mean, I guess Theo has an advantage by being a chimera but…”   Suddenly, Stiles remembered talking to Theo, lying on the cold floor of the warehouse, Theo’s claws digging into his back…Theo thrusting and-and coming- Stiles tried to sit up.   Malia got to her feet. “What is it? What’s wrong?”   Stiles pointed at the trash can and Malia ran over, grabbed it and came back just as Stiles threw up.   Malia’s nose wrinkled.   “Sorry,” Stiles gasped. “I just…remembered.”   Malia set the trash can down on the floor. “What was it?”   “Uh, bits and pieces. I remember him talking, his…” Stiles’s fingers went to his hip where the scratches were, tracing them through the hospital gown. “His claws here and on-on my back, slashing…and-“ Tears welled up in Stiles’s eyes.   “He was inside you.”   “Yes,” Stiles sobbed.   Malia sat down, slowly reaching a hand out to put it on Stiles’s shoulder.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~   Melissa walked in later to find Malia asleep, draped over Stiles.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Stiles was released later that day, Parrish drove him home. “Do you want me to keep you company?”   Stiles looked up at the deputy as he stood in the front door. “Um, yeah, if you don’t mind. I mean, as long as you don’t have to get back the station for a while.”   “I’m sure your father would understand.”   “I can…I’ll text him, to tell him you’re going to be my bodyguard for the evening.” Stiles slowly went up the stairs while Parrish watched.   Stiles got his phone from his desk, because it had been cleared as evidence and his dad brought it home. It was still in the bag.   Stiles opened it and pulled up his dad’s contact, ignoring the flashing battery.   Once he texted his dad and set his phone to charge, he poked his head out of his room and called to Parrish, “I’m just going to rest up here.”   “Shout if you need anything.”   Stiles played video games to pass the time.   The sun was setting, the clouds finally gone, when Stiles got a text message from Malia. It read: Peter killed Theo.   Stiles just stared at the message for a moment. That should make him feel better, right?   Stiles didn’t know what to feel. Mostly he just felt weary and empty and he didn’t like it. He blinked, trying to will away a forming headache as his phone buzzed that he had a new text message. It was from…Jackson? Stiles’s eyes flicked over the words, not really processing them, but he got the gist.   Jackson was sorry; he knew that would never make up for everything he had done under Gerard’s control. Jackson had talked with Lydia; she wasn’t ready to give him a second chance, too much time lost between them. He was thinking about going back to Europe, maybe to see Isaac.   The rest just faded as Stiles lost focus on his phone.   Suddenly he recalled Jackson kissing him, his lips wrapped around his cock, slipping the drug in…Stiles wasn’t aware he had made any sound until Parrish rushed upstairs.   “What is it? Are you alright?”   Stiles got up from his desk and stumbled to his bed, curling against the foot. “I-I’m fine.”   “What happened? You screamed.”   Stiles shook his head. “Nothing, just…” Stiles sniffed. I don’t want to cry, not in front of Parrish.   “Do you want me to call your dad?” Parrish asked after a moment, just standing outside the doorway.   Stiles got up. “I’m going to take a shower.” He brushed past Parrish to go into the bathroom.   Stiles waited for Parrish to walk away before undressing and getting in the shower. His tears mixed with the flowing water.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Later, Stiles sat in his room, intensely focused as he played Cookie Clicker on his phone.   There was a soft knock on his open door.   He looked up; his minions would pick up the slack while he was away.   Noah stood there. “How are you feeling?”   Stiles shrugged. “I feel like maybe I should be thanking Peter for what he did.”   Noah sighed. “I shouldn’t look this over, it is murder, but no judge would ever see the connection between him and the bodies…”   Stiles glanced back at his phone, tapping away while his dad came to sit beside him on the bed.   “Parrish said something spooked you earlier. Want to tell me what it was?”   "It was just…Jackson texted.” Stiles pulled it up and handed the phone to his dad. “I remembered what he did; it’s all coming back in bits and pieces.”   Noah looked up from the texts.   Shit not again. Tears were sparkling in Stiles’s eyes; he fought the lump trying to form in his throat. “They roofied me dad, I looked up my symptoms.”   Noah let out a deep sigh. “You probably won’t remember all of it. And maybe that’s for the best.”   Stiles nodded.   Noah leaned in for a hug and Stiles clung just a little bit.   After a moment, Noah pulled back, ready to leave.   “Dad.” Stiles hated how his voice shook.   “Yes?”   “With Jackson, when he su-he made me…” Stiles wouldn’t meet his father’s gaze. How can I look him in the eye when I enjoyed what happened?   “Stiles? What about Jackson?”   Stiles swallowed hard. “He made me…hard. I-I liked what happened.”   “Stiles, you know it was just a reaction.”   Stiles let out a weak laugh. “I know that, I know that it couldn’t be helped or stopped, they couldn’t be stopped, but I…” He trailed off as the tears flowed down and Noah pulled him close, rubbing his side to keep away from the fresh bandages on Stiles’s back.   “I’m so fucked up,” Stiles muttered eventually.   Noah pulled back sharply. “No Stiles, you’re not. You had something bad happen to you, it’s not your fault and there’s nothing wrong with you.”   Stiles blinked back the remaining tears.   Noah gave him a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and got up. “You want something to eat? I can make spaghetti.”   Stiles felt a small smile tug at his mouth. Dad’s trying to cheer me up because he knows that he’s horrible at making spaghetti.   Stiles got up. “Let me help you. Maybe this time we won’t burn the water.”   Noah smiled as he followed Stiles downstairs.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   Even later, when it was time for Stiles to go to sleep, Noah asked, “Do you want me to stay in your room with you?”   They both knew Stiles was going to have nightmares.   Stiles nodded. Having his dad in the room would help calm his nerves at least.   Noah slept on the floor in a sleeping bag, despite Stiles insisting he could sleep somewhere else and his dad could take the bed.   Noah was snoring softly as Stiles lay awake, staring at his ceiling, going over what was said earlier.   Dad’s wrong. Stiles rolled over. I got hard; I came…no one’s going to want me like this.   Though there was one person who would probably not mind, who wouldn’t care how fucked up he was, because their own morals were skewed.   Stiles was going to ask them out because what did it matter anymore? End Notes this was supposed to be up a while ago but shhhh I left it open ended for a sequel, so if you'd like that, tell me so. If I missed a tag, please tell me. scream at me on tumblr-shipperfiendobssesser Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!