Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/327015.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      The_Vampire_Diaries
  Relationship:
      Jeremy_Gilbert/Damon_Salvatore, Background_Jenna/Alaric
  Character:
      Bonnie_Bennett, Caroline_Forbes, Elena_Gilbert, Stefan_Salvatore
  Additional Tags:
      Recreational_Drug_Use, mention_of_suicidal_thoughts
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-01-27 Chapters: 4/4 Words: 18135
****** Saved ******
by disturbinglynic
Summary
     Human AU. Damon and Jeremy wind up in the same English class, and
     Jeremy feels a strong attraction to Damon. Damon tries to warn him
     off, but Jeremy can't stay away, though neither can Damon. After a
     few weeks of hanging out and spending the majority of their free time
     together, Jeremy learns a secret that Damon has been hiding from
     everyone. As the months go by, Jeremy and Damon become even closer,
     proving that even in the end, happiness can be possible.
Notes

     [http://pics.livejournal.com/disturbinglynic/pic/00014bx0/s640x480]
                              Art by rainyrocket
***** Chapter 1 *****
[http://pics.livejournal.com/disturbinglynic/pic/00015qx4]
There was only one seat left in the classroom when he arrived. It was his last
class of the day and the first that he had struggled to find. The seat was in
the back of the room, not the one next to the wall, but the one next to that.
Some pale kid with dark hair was lounging in that seat next to the wall. He
looked like he didn’t have a care in the world.
 
Jeremy wondered if there was a reason that nobody was sitting next to this kid.
Not that it mattered. Jeremy was stuck with that seat. He made his way to the
back of the room and sat down. He put his book down on the desk and happened to
glance to his right, catching the gaze of the most piercing blue eyes he had
ever seen. Jeremy swallowed hard and the boy smirked at him.
 
“Damon,” said the kid by way of introduction.
 
“Jeremy,” he replied.
 
The bell rang and the teacher began taking attendance. Jeremy forced his gaze
away from Damon and to the front of the room. The teacher paused at what had to
be somewhere near the end of the list and looked up, gaze wandering around the
room, falling on Damon. “Back again, Damon?”
 
“What can I say, Mrs. Henderson. I just can’t seem to stay away
from you.”
 
Mrs. Henderson huffed and went back to roll call. Jeremy looked over at Damon
and raised his eyebrows. Damon winked at him. Jeremy let out a soft chuckle and
shook his head, turning his attention back to the teacher.
 
The class felt like it lasted an eternity. Who knew that English could be so
boring? Jeremy was pretty sure that Mrs. Henderson wanted to be there about as
much as they did. Jeremy was also pretty sure that Damon slept for most of the
class period and Mrs. Henderson hadn’t even bothered waking him, like
she had already given up on him. That bothered Jeremy.
 
The bell rang and he let out a sigh of relief. Next to him, Damon chuckled.
“She doesn’t get any better.”
 
“Great.” Jeremy turned to look at Damon. He was already out of
his seat and carrying nothing. “Do you even have a pen on you?”
 
Damon tilted his head and looked at Jeremy. “See you around,
kid.” Damon walked out of the classroom, leaving Jeremy more than a
little confused. He sighed and grabbed his things, leaving the classroom and
heading towards his locker. He was in the process of putting books into his
backpack when his sister showed up. “How did your first day go?”
 
“It was thrilling.”
 
“It gets better.”
 
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
 
Elena rolled her eyes. “Ready to go?”
 
Jeremy slammed his locker door shut. “Yep.”
 
The ride home was filled with Elena chattering about her day. Jeremy
wasn’t really listening though. He was too busy thinking about a pair of
piercing blue eyes, that just for a moment, he could have sworn had sparkled
with life. At least he was sure he had seen it, but it hadn’t lasted
long and Jeremy could very well be imagining things.
 
Jeremy knew everyone that Elena hung out with, but he had never heard her
mention Damon before. “Elena, do you know who Damon is?”
 
“Damon Salvatore?”
 
“Yeah, that sounds right.”
 
“That guy is a loser, Jeremy. Why do you ask?”
 
“He’s in my English class.”
 
“Well believe me, you don’t want to have anything to do with
him.”
 
Jeremy looked away from Elena. “Yeah, okay,” he replied, though
he wasn’t really sure that he meant it.
 
They arrived home and Jeremy went to his room to do his homework because
apparently being in high school meant homework was a necessity on the first day
of class. It was easy enough, for now anyway.
 
Elena called him downstairs when dinner was ready, and they had just sat down
to eat when Jenna breezed in. Jenna, their aunt, had been looking after them
since their parents had died when they were younger. Jenna and Elena had both
had their part in raising Jeremy. He loved them both, but sometimes he wished
that there was another guy around. He knew he could talk to either one of them
if he needed to, but there were some things he wished he had a guy around to
talk to. Especially for the different feelings he had been experiencing lately,
and Jeremy didn’t mean sex, though that was part of it.
 
He dutifully answered all of Jenna’s questions and then excused himself
from the table, claiming that he had more homework to finish. He had already
finished his homework though. He just wanted time to think. He put his
headphones on and stretched out on his bed. Neither Elena nor Jenna knew that
Jeremy had been struggling to figure out if he was gay or not. Jeremy
didn’t think it should be such a struggle to figure it out, but he was
so confused.
 
He was attracted to females. He liked their softness and their curves, but
every once in a while, there would be a guy that would catch his attention.
None had managed the way that Damon had though. The easy answer would be that
he was attracted to both sexes, and maybe yesterday that would have been the
answer. Damon was in a league of his own though. Jeremy had kissed a few girls,
and it had been fun, but Damon stirred something deeper within Jeremy, and he
didn’t know what to do with that.
 
He fell into an uneasy sleep, dreams filled with blue eyes haunting him. When
his alarm woke him in the morning, his boxers were sticky with the release of a
dream he couldn’t recall, save for those chilling blue eyes.
 
The day dragged on and Jeremy realized it was because he was looking forward to
his most boring class of the day, all because of a certain dark haired, blue
eyed student. He took a deep breath before walking into the classroom, not
wanting Damon to see just how excited he was.
 
Jeremy knew how ridiculous this all was. He didn’t know anything about
Damon except that according to Elena, he was a loser and Jeremy’s focus
would be better spent elsewhere. But he was drawn to Damon in ways that he
couldn’t begin to explain. He was determined to get to know Damon
better.
 
Damon smiled at Jeremy as he sat down, and Jeremy flashed him a smile of his
own. Damon held up something between his thumb and his forefinger, a smirk on
his face. It was a pen. Damon was holding up a pen. Jeremy laughed and shook
his head. “So you’re planning on taking notes right on the desk
then? Or maybe you’re going to use your arm.”
 
Damon’s smirk turned into a wicked grin. “Maybe I’ll use
your arm.”
 
The bell rang before Jeremy could reply. He could swear that Damon had just
flirted with him, but he didn’t know enough about Damon to know if that
was true or not. Damon could just be like that with everyone. That could just
be his personality. Jeremy didn’t think he minded either way as long as
Damon was paying attention to him. Then again, Jeremy had been the one who had
flirted first, so maybe Damon was just reacting to that.
 
Damon fell asleep during the lecture again, and when the bell rang Jeremy
smirked at him.
 
“Kinda hard to write on me if you’re asleep.” This time he
walked out of the classroom first, leaving Damon behind. Jeremy was busy
sorting through the books in his locker, so he jumped when he turned and saw
Damon peering at him from around the locker door.
 
“It’s not nice to sneak up on people like that.”
 
“Kid, you don’t wanna be friends with me.”
 
Jeremy raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “Is that right?” he
huffed out. Damon didn’t answer him, he just turned and walked away.
 
“What was Damon doing talking to you?” Elena’s voice came
from behind him. Jeremy sighed and turned around. “It was nothing,
Elena.”
 
“He’s a bad influence, Jer. You don’t need those kinds of
friends here.”
 
Jeremy slammed his locker shut. “You have nothing to worry
about.” Which was of course a big fat lie. Elena had no idea what kind
of thoughts Jeremy was having about Damon. She didn’t even know to think
that he had those kind of thoughts towards anyone who wasn’t female.
 
Neither of them talked during the car ride home, and as soon as they were
through the front door, Jeremy locked himself away inside of his room. He
stripped out of his clothes and crawled into bed, grabbing the lube from the
nightstand drawer as he did. He was already hard thinking about what he was
going to do.
 
He had tried this before but he had never been very successful. He had a
feeling this time would be different. He gave his cock a couple of strokes
before lubing up his fingers. He pushed one finger into himself, breathing
through the burn. When he was as far in as he could go he paused, allowing
himself to adjust to the feeling of his finger inside of him. He never made it
past one finger, but this time he was determined. He worked his finger in and
out until he felt relaxed enough to add a second finger. He tensed before he
could get the tip of his finger past that tight ring of muscle. He thought
about Damon doing this and about Damon ‘s mouth wrapped around his dick,
and he pushed his second finger in, grunting through the pain.
 
He paused when he had both fingers inside of him. A sheen of sweat already
covered his body from the exertion. As his body relaxed around the intrusion he
found that he wanted movement. Slowly he began moving his fingers inside
himself, amazed by the pleasure he was feeling. He didn’t know if he was
gay or not, but he did know that he wouldn’t say no to anal sex,
especially if it was Damon penetrating him. He used his other hand to stroke
himself and it didn’t take long for him to come.
 
He lay there in the afterglow, utterly exhausted and spent, but happy. He
didn’t know if Damon would ever see him that way, but he was determined
to find out. It was a ridiculous notion, someone like Damon wanting someone
like him, but he wasn’t ready to give up before he had even tried.
Jeremy huffed out a laugh to his empty bedroom. It was only the second day of
school. He was so fucked.
 
*****
 
Tyler was having a back to school party, thought it wasn’t at
Tyler’s house. Jeremy didn’t know whose house it was. Anybody who
was anybody was here. Freshman usually didn’t get to go, but because he
was Elena’s little brother and because he had known these people
forever, Jeremy was lucky enough to get to go.
 
He was bored though and was wandering through the house. He came upon the room
with all of the stoners in it and decided to venture in. There was a mixture of
pot and cigarettes, and Jeremy decided to start off with a cigarette. He bummed
a cigarette from someone and grabbed a pack of matches. He sat in a chair and
was about to put the cigarette to his mouth so he could light it when it was
snatched from his fingers.
 
“These’ll kill you, kid.”
 
Jeremy looked up to see Damon looking over him from behind the chair.
“These’ll kill you too.”
 
“I’m already dead,” Damon replied, heading for the door
that led him outside. Jeremy hesitated for just a moment before following Damon
out. The house was surrounded by woods and Damon traveled a way into them
before stopping and sitting, leaning back against a tree. Jeremy sat down next
to Damon as he was lighting the cigarette.
 
“You shouldn’t be out here, especially with me.”
 
Jeremy shrugged. “The party was boring and that’s my
cigarette.”
 
Damon smiled. “Come closer.”
 
Jeremy scooted closer to Damon.
 
“Now, part your lips and inhale while I exhale.” Damon took a
small drag off the cigarette and leaned in towards Jeremy. Their lips touched,
just barely, something he could hardly even notice except for the spark that he
felt and the fact that it was Damon. Damon exhaled the smoke into
Jeremy’s mouth and he inhaled. He breathed in deeply and Damon pulled
away. He exhaled, releasing the small amount of smoke that had been in
Damon’s mouth. Damon probably assumed that Jeremy had never had a
cigarette before, and he had been right.
 
Damon took another drag from the cigarette and Jeremy hoped they were going to
share again, but Damon just handed the cigarette off to him. “Keep it
small still.”
 
Jeremy nodded and inhaled a small amount, and then handed the cigarette back
off to Damon. “Do you know whose house this is?”
 
“Mine,” Damon replied, handing the cigarette back to Jeremy.
 
“Yours? Really? And your parents don’t mind you having a huge
party like this?” Jeremy handed the cigarette back to Damon.
 
“They’re dead.”
 
“I’m sorry. Mine are too.”
 
“Open up.”
 
Jeremy parted his lips and Damon exhaled smoke into his mouth. Jeremy inhaled
and held his breath for a moment before exhaling. “So do you live here
by yourself?”
 
“For the most part. I have a brother, Stefan, but he’s away at
college. He visits when he can.”
 
“That must be lonely.”
 
Damon shrugged. “I’m used to it.”
 
Jeremy didn’t know if he could ever get used to solitude like that.
Damon finished off the cigarette but Jeremy didn’t mind.
 
“You’d better get back inside before your sister starts worrying
and comes looking for you.”
 
Jeremy groaned, but he knew Damon was right. “Are you coming with
me?”
 
“Nope.” Damon turned away from him, so Jeremy figured he had been
dismissed. He got up and headed back to the house. He wished Elena
wasn’t here so that he could spend more time out here in the woods with
Damon. It was annoying to have someone watching over you constantly the way
Elena did, but then he thought of Damon and how alone he was. Elena
didn’t seem so bad after that.
 
Nothing much had changed at the party, so Jeremy found himself wandering
through the house again, though with new eyes. Now that he knew that it was
Damon who lived here he paid more attention to details trying to figure out
anything he could about the mystery that was Damon. It was hopeless though.
There wasn’t anything personal around. It could be anybody’s
home. It made him feel sorry for Damon and made him want to get to know Damon
even more than he had before.
 
It was getting late and the party was getting a bit rowdy so he knew Elena
would come looking for him soon to take him home.
 
“Trying to learn more about me?” a voice said from behind him.
 
“Well, you hardly say more than a few words when we’re together.
How else am I supposed to get to know you?”
 
A pair of hands turned him around and then rested on his shoulders.
“You’re not supposed to get to know me. Get that through your
head and stop trying.”
 
“You’re certainly not making that easy, unless you’re
trying to keep me away by sharing cigarettes with me.”
 
The corner of Damon’s mouth quirked up, but there were voices nearby and
Damon took off, melting into the shadows.
 
“Jeremy, there you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.
What are you doing up here?”
 
Jeremy shrugged. “Got bored so I thought I would do some
exploring.”
 
“Well it’s time for us to go.” Turning to her friends she
added, “I’ll see you later.”
 
They made their goodbyes to Bonnie and Caroline and then Elena was leading him
out of the house and to her car. Jeremy took one last look at the house over
his shoulder and saw Damon standing near the woods, watching him and Elena.
Jeremy smiled and Damon turned around, wandering back into the woods.
 
He had no idea what Damon was playing at. He acted like he wanted to hang
around Jeremy but then told him that they shouldn’t. This time Jeremy
was sure he had seen a sparkle in Damon’s eye. It had happened when the
corner of Damon’s mouth had quirked up, right before they had been
interrupted by Jeremy’s sister.
 
Jeremy smiled a small smile that Elena wouldn’t be able to see. It
seemed quite possible that Damon wanted the same things from him that he wanted
from Damon. He just had to figure out why Damon seemed so unwilling. Jeremy
would definitely try to talk to him again on Monday.
 
*****
 
It would have been a good plan, but Damon wasn’t in class on Monday. He
had only been in school for a week and already he felt alone without the
presence of Damon next to him in English, and all Damon ever did was sleep. It
was only when he was standing at his locker and Elena appeared that Jeremy came
up with a plan. “Hey, Elena, I’ve got a project I need to work on
so I think I’m gonna head over to the library. I’ll just walk
home when I’m finished.”
 
“Well, okay, but let me know if you need any help. And let me know if it
gets too late, call and I’ll come pick you up.”
 
“Thanks,” Jeremy said, closing his locker and heading in the
direction of the library. He hung around until he was sure that Elena would be
home, and then made his way to Damon’s house. When nobody answered the
door, Jeremy headed out into the woods, heading in the same direction that he
and Damon had gone only a few nights ago. Damon was leaning back against the
same tree and was reading.
 
“He reads.”
 
“And apparently you can’t heed good advice when you get some.
What are you doing here?”
 
“You weren’t in class today.”
 
“So you, what, decided to stop by and make sure I was okay?”
 
Damon was being an asshole and was probably doing it on purpose, but Jeremy
wasn’t put off by it. “Actually, I just wanted to talk.”
 
“Was there something in particular that you had in mind?”
 
“No.”
 
“Then you should leave, kid. Go home to your sister. I’m sure
she’s already warned you about what a terrible influence I would be on
you.”
 
Jeremy decided to change the subject, hoping to get Damon to relax some.
“So you’re reading. Considering you’re in my English class
I’m a bit surprised.”
 
“What, you didn’t think I knew how to read?”
 
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just wondering why you’re
in my English class if you enjoy reading.”
 
Finally the tension seemed to ease out of Damon, so Jeremy sat down next to
him, but he didn’t get an answer.
 
“Did I miss anything exciting in class?”
 
Jeremy snorted. “Don’t you just usually sleep your way through
class anyway?”
 
The smallest hint of a smile appeared on Damon’s face.
“Maybe.”
 
Jeremy smiled and allowed himself to relax a bit.
 
“So how did you get away from your bodyguard?”
 
Jeremy chuckled. “That was easy. I told her I had a project to do and
that I would be at the library and that I would walk home when I had
finished.”
 
“See, I’m already a bad influence on you.”
 
“Maybe.” Jeremy actually got a full-blown smile out of that one.
Damon pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. “I didn’t
say anything the other night, but isn’t it dangerous to be smoking out
here?”
 
Damon shrugged. “I’m careful.” He lit a cigarette and
inhaled deeply before passing it along to Jeremy. Jeremy took it, grateful to
have something else to do besides talk. Damon made him nervous, but only in a
good way. They passed the cigarette back and forth a few times before Damon
told him to open. Jeremy allowed his lips to part a bit and then Damon was
breathing smoke into his mouth. Jeremy enjoyed the intimacy of this act, hoping
that at some point it might go further. A couple of more drags in the same
manner and then Damon finished off the cigarette. “You should go
now.”
 
“But I only just got there.”
 
“Please, just go.”
 
Jeremy opened his mouth to say something but then shook his head and closed it.
He got up and stalked off with a huff, not even bothering to ask Damon if he
would be in class tomorrow.
 
*****
 
Damon was in class on Tuesday though, and he smiled at Jeremy as Jeremy
approached his seat. Jeremy chose to ignore Damon though. He couldn’t
deal with the two sides of Damon- the one side that seemed to be his friend and
the other side that kept pushing him away.
 
“Aw, don’t be like that kid.”
 
“How should I be?” Jeremy asked, eyes facing the front of the
class. Damon sighed. “Fine.” Damon stopped trying to talk to him
and Jeremy attempted to pay attention to Mrs. Henderson, but he was finding
that rather hard to do. He was shocked when a book landed on his desk and
groaned when he realized it was Shakespeare.
 
“I take it you’re not a fan of Shakespeare.”
 
Jeremy thought about ignoring Damon some more, but with a sigh, Jeremy looked
at Damon. “More like I just don’t get Shakespeare.” The
bell rang and Jeremy gathered his things to leave. He was surprised when Damon
followed him all the way to his locker. “What do you want,
Damon?”
 
“I can help you with your Shakespeare problem.”
 
“I thought you wanted me to stay away from you.”
 
“I don’t want you to stay away from me. You should learn how to
pay attention better. I said that you should stay away from me”
 
“Any chance you’ll tell me why?”
 
Damon stayed silent.
 
“Of course not. You tell me I should stay away from you but you
won’t tell me why, which means I have no real reason to stay away from
you and I think you’re hoping that I won’t stay away from you
even though I should. Did I get that right?”
 
Damon sighed. “Look kid, do you want my help or not?”
 
Elena chose just that moment to appear. “Help with what?”
 
“Shakespeare,” Damon replied.
 
“You know Shakespeare?” Elena asked in a snotty tone.
 
“Elena!” Jeremy chided. “Damon, I would love the help.
Let’s go.” He walked away with Damon, Elena calling out after
him.
 
“She’s going to kill you, you know.”
 
“She’s just going to have to deal with it. It’s not like
she can stop me from talking to you.”
 
“No, I suppose she can’t.” Damon said as they walked to
his house.
 
“So you know Shakespeare and you like to read and yet you’re in
my English class. Again I find myself wondering why you’re in my English
class.”
 
“I’m behind in all my classes.”
 
“Why?”
 
“If you listen to everyone else it’s because I’m stupid
and have no ambition and I’m lazy.”
 
“In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t listen to what other
people have to say.”
 
Damon smirked. “No, you definitely don’t.”
 
“You didn’t answer my question.”
 
“No I didn’t.”
 
Jeremy laughed. “Okay, fine. Keep your secrets.”
 
Damon smiled at him. “And what about you? Or does your sister
know?”
 
There was only one thing Damon could be talking about and he wasn’t even
sure himself if he preferred guys or girls. He just knew that he preferred
Damon. “She doesn’t know, though I’m still trying to
figure out if there’s anything to tell.”
 
“Seems to me there is.”
 
“Why? Because there’s one exception to the rule?”
 
“It’s still an exception that your sister doesn’t know
about.”
 
Jeremy stopped in his tracks. “Damon, can we not talk about
this?”
 
Damon looked over his shoulder but kept walking. “Fine.”
 
Jeremy hurried to catch up. Damon pulled out his pack of cigarettes and lit
one. He smoked it, but didn’t offer any of it to Jeremy.
 
“I know I said we wouldn’t talk about it, but you really need to
get over your exception.”
 
“Why?”
 
“For your own good.”
 
“Funny, I was told that about my friendship with my exception
too.”
 
“Well maybe you should be satisfied with just being friends.”
 
Jeremy opened his mouth to reply, but Damon kept talking. “I mean it,
kid. You need to get over your exception.”
 
Jeremy couldn’t understand why Damon was trying to distance himself when
it seemed that Damon might actually be interested. So what else could he do,
for now anyway, but tell Damon he would try? “I’ll see what I can
do about that.”
 
“See that you do.”
 
Damon let them both into his house and to the kitchen, where Jeremy dumped his
books onto the kitchen table.
 
“Can I get you anything to eat or drink? I’ve got some cookies
and some cokes.”
 
“Yeah, that sounds fine,” Jeremy replied, taking a seat at the
table. He pulled out the Shakespeare book and the packet the teacher had made.
It was supposed to be for the few weeks that they would be working on
Shakespeare. He wondered how much he would get done with Damon tonight.
 
Damon sat down next to him with the promised cokes and cookies. Jeremy took one
of the glasses and a cookie. The cookies were chocolate chip. He took a bite
out of the cookie and let out a small groan. “Oh man. This is like the
best cookie I’ve ever tasted.”
 
Damon just smirked at him. Jeremy helped himself to another cookie noticing
that Damon hadn’t even had one yet. “Aren’t you going to
have one?”
 
Damon shook his head. “I’m not very hungry, but help yourself to
as many as you’d like.”
 
“Thanks,” Jeremy mumbled around a mouthful of cookie.
 
“Now, if you’re done stuffing your face, are you ready to start
on Romeo and Juliet?”
 
Jeremy sighed. “I’m really not.”
 
“Great. Let’s get started.”
 
Jeremy glared at Damon but to no avail. They spent the next few hours going
through Mrs. Henderson’s packet for Romeo and Juliet. They were about to
call it a night when there was a knock on the door. Jeremy gathered his things
as Damon went to go answer the door. When Damon came back, he was joined by
Elena.
 
Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Have you come to drag me away from
here?”
 
“I came to give you a ride home and to see if Damon wanted to come over
for dinner.”
 
He and Damon looked at each other, surprise written on their faces.
 
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to decline, Elena.”
 
Elena nodded and looked at Jeremy. “Ready to go?”
 
“Yeah.” Jeremy turned to Damon. “Can we do this
again?”
 
Damon nodded. “Tomorrow?”
 
Jeremy agreed and they both looked at Elena. ‘Tomorrow is fine. Come on,
Jer. Let’s go.”
 
Jeremy smiled at Damon and then followed Elena into the car. As soon as they
were in the car, Jeremy started talking. “Okay, what was that all
about?”
 
Elena let out a sigh. “Okay, look. I know how much Shakespeare
frustrates you and if he really is helping you, then great. I just can’t
believe he’s helping you. I mean he’s my age but he’s in
your English class. I don’t understand.”
 
“I actually don’t understand that either because he’s kind
of brilliant.”
 
“Really?” Elena asked in disbelief.
 
“You know, did you and your friends ever give Damon a chance, or did you
just ignore him because he happened to be different than you?”
 
Elena didn’t answer him.
 
‘That’s what I thought.”
 
“Jer,” Elena pleaded.
 
“Was your offer to have him over for dinner even sincere? You were
probably hoping he would decline.”
 
“Please Jeremy- “
 
“No. Just leave me alone.”
 
Elena opened her mouth to respond, but closed it without saying a word.
 
Once home, Jeremy locked himself in his bedroom and Elena let him be. He hoped
Elena would come around, because despite Damon’s warnings, there was no
way that Jeremy was going to give up on him.
 
*****
 
Jeremy had spent the rest of the week going over to Damon’s house after
school to work on Shakespeare. Jeremy was still struggling with it, but
he’d be doing a lot worse if Damon hadn’t been helping him.
 
It was Saturday now and Elena was off with her friends and Jenna was off with
her boyfriend, Alaric, leaving Jeremy with the house to himself. He was
surprised when there was a knock at the door. He wasn’t expecting
anyone. He was even more surprised to see Damon standing at the door.
 
“Damon? What are you doing here?”
 
Damon shrugged. “Thought maybe we could hang out if you weren’t
doing anything.”
 
“Yeah, sure. Come on in.” He stood aside so that Damon could
enter.
 
“Actually, why don’t you come for a walk with me instead.”
 
Jeremy shrugged and joined Damon outside. Damon led him back into the woods.
 
“You really like the woods.”
 
Damon didn’t agree or disagree, and it hadn’t been a question
anyway. When they reached a spot that Damon seemed to deem okay, Damon sat and
Jeremy sat next to him. Damon pulled something out of his pocket, and at first
Jeremy thought it was just another cigarette, but then he had a closer look at
it. “Pot? Did you bring me out here to get high with you?”
 
Damon smirked. “I came out here to get high. If you want to join me then
fine, but if not, I don’t care.”
 
Jeremy watched as Damon took a few hits and decided why not? “Let me
try.”
 
Damon smiled. “Open up.”
 
Jeremy leaned in and parted his lips. Damon pressed his lips to
Jeremy’s, more firmly than he ever had before, and blew a puff of smoke
into Jeremy’s mouth. Jeremy inhaled and smiled at Damon.
 
They shared the rest of the joint in the same manner and then Damon lay down,
resting his head on his arm. Jeremy decided to take a chance, and when he lay
down, he rested his head on Damon’s chest, the two of them forming an
“L” shape. Damon tensed a bit but didn’t say anything.
Jeremy let himself relax, the pot mellowing him out.
 
“So kid, tell me, is this exception really the only time you’ve
ever been attracted to a guy before?”
 
“No.”
 
“Then he’s not really an exception, is he?”
 
“Oh no, he is.”
 
“So you’re attracted to girls and you’re attracted to
guys. What’s so confusing?”
 
“I feel like it should be one or the other.”
 
“People don’t fit into nice, neat little boxes. If you like both,
you like both.”
 
“And what about you? Attracted to anything with a pulse?”
 
Damon gave him a light smack on the head and Jeremy chuckled. “I take it
you’re into guys and girls also then.”
 
“Yeah.”
 
They lay in silence for a while. Jeremy was definitely enjoying this. Jeremy
wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he felt Damon move.
“Come on, kid. We should get you back home” Jeremy groaned but
sat up. “I’m hungry.”
 
Damon chuckled. “We could go grab a burger if you want.”
 
“That sounds good.”
 
Damon chuckled again. “You gonna be able to walk, kid?”
 
Jeremy stood up slowly. His legs felt like rubber. He took a few tentative
steps. “Piece of cake. Hey, cake sounds good too.”
 
Damon shook his head and stood up, stepping into place next to Jeremy. Jeremy
stumbled a couple of times but Damon always reached out a hand to help steady
him.
 
They got to the burger place and Jeremy ordered one with practically everything
on it and got a large order of fries and the biggest coke they had. Damon paid
for it. Jeremy wolfed down half of his burger in no time and Damon was just
nibbling on a fry.
 
“Aren’t you hungry?” Jeremy asked when he swallowed the
half of the burger.
 
Damon shrugged. “I’m fine.”
 
Jeremy scarfed down the rest of his food as Damon watched. When Jeremy had
finished everything in front of him, he leaned back against his chair and let
out a contented sigh.
 
“Better?”
 
“Much.”
 
“I just hope you don’t barf all that up later or
something.”
 
Jeremy snorted. “Nah. I’ll be fine.”
 
“We should get you home then.”
 
“If you insist.”
 
“I do.”
 
“Fine.” Jeremy grumbled, standing up. Damon took care of his
trash for him and then walked him back to his house. “I guess I’m
home now.”
 
Damon looked at him with a sad smile on his face. “This exception of
yours, you’ve kind of fallen for him, haven’t you?”
 
Jeremy nodded.
 
“How can you be sure? Maybe it’s just lust.”
 
“It’s not.”
 
“But you don’t even know him. You know that’s insane,
right?”
 
Jeremy huffed out a laugh. “I do know and yes it is insane.”
 
“Oh, well as long as you’re aware of that. I’ll see you
Monday then?”
 
Jeremy smiled and nodded. “Monday.” He watched as Damon walked
away, heading back to his own house. It was amusing that they could have an
entire conversation about them without even acknowledging that it was about
them. Jeremy chuckled to himself and headed into the house in search of more
food.
 
*****
 
A couple of weeks had flown by and he and Damon had grown closer. Jeremy always
went over to Damon’s to do his homework, even when he didn’t need
help. On Saturdays Damon would stop by and they would go smoke pot in the
woods, and afterwards Damon would buy him a burger. Sometimes after school they
would share cigarettes.
 
In just a couple of weeks they had managed to set up a nice routine for
themselves. That’s why on Monday afternoon when Jeremy found himself in
English class alone, he worried about what might be wrong with Damon. They had
been spending so much time together that Jeremy couldn’t help but notice
the little things, like Damon not eating. He didn’t ask though. If Damon
wanted him to know something, then Damon would tell him.
 
Class finally ended and Jeremy made his trip to his locker quick. Elena,
realizing that Jeremy was just going to go over to Damon’s, had finally
stopped meeting him there. Jeremy walked as fast as he could to Damon’s,
pounding on the door when he got there. The door was opened by someone Jeremy
didn’t recognize. “You must be Jeremy.”
 
“Stefan?” Stefan nodded. “Damon said you would be
here.” He moved to the side to allow Jeremy to enter.
 
“Why wasn’t Damon at school today?”
 
“A really severe cold.”
 
Jeremy looked at Stefan. “You’re not telling me
everything.”
 
Stefan shut the door and sighed. “Come on. Damon is waiting for you and
he should be the one to tell you.” Stefan led him to the library where
Damon was sitting comfortably in a chair, covered with a blanket and sitting in
front of a fire. Damon looked like hell.
 
Jeremy sat in the chair next to Damon and waited.
 
“I have cancer.”
 
Jeremy swallowed a gasp. Damon was blunt and to the point. Whatever Jeremy had
been expecting, it certainly hadn’t been that.
 
“The chemo didn’t work. I’m dying.”
 
Jeremy swallowed hard, blinking back tears. “How long?” he
managed to ask. Damon shrugged. “A year. Maybe more. Maybe less.”
 
“And the chemo didn’t work?”
 
“Not even a little.” Damon tugged at his hair, which turned out
to be a wig. There was really short hair underneath it. He hadn’t been
out of chemo for long.
 
Damon was about to put the wig back on but Jeremy got out of his seat and
grabbed the wig, sitting next to Damon, pulling the blanket over him too.
Jeremy took a deep breath and willed his voice to be steady. “So you
only have a year left and you were trying to deprive me of seeing as much of
you as possible? That wasn’t very nice of you.”
 
He hoped that Damon would see that he was trying to lighten the mood and that
he was planning on sticking around. Damon looked like he might be offended, but
then he laughed. “You’re right. How horrible of me.”
 
Jeremy smiled and handed Damon his wig back. He ran his hand over
Damon’s head, feeling the soft, short hair beneath his fingers. He moved
his hand down to cup Damon’s cheek and gently turned his head to face
Jeremy. Jeremy leaned in and pressed their lips together. It was chaste and
lasted only just a little longer than when they were sharing smoke. Jeremy
pulled away and rested his head on Damon’s shoulder. Damon wrapped his
arms around Jeremy and pulled him in closer.
 
They had only been lying there for a few minutes when he felt Damon’s
breathing even out. Jeremy sat up and looked at Damon. He was asleep.
 
“Come on, Jeremy. Let Damon get his rest.” Stefan had appeared in
the room again. Jeremy got off the seat as quietly as he could. “I
can’t just leave him without saying goodbye.”
 
“Don’t worry. I’ll let him know.”
 
“Does he get colds often?”
 
“Yeah.”
 
Jeremy just nodded. Stefan walked him all the way to the front door.
“Jeremy, you did good in there, with Damon I mean.”
 
Jeremy nodded again.
 
“I guess you’ll be back tomorrow.”
 
A third nod from Jeremy.
 
“Jeremy, do you want me to call Elena to come pick you up?”
 
Jeremy looked at Stefan, not really seeing him, and nodded. It seemed all he
was capable of doing at the moment.
 
“Okay. Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
 
Jeremy stood frozen by the door. Stefan came back and put a hand on
Jeremy’s shoulder. “Your sister should be here any
minute.”
 
Jeremy didn’t answer him.
 
“Jeremy, before your sister gets here I need to know, does she know
about you and Damon?”
 
Jeremy shook his head.
 
“Do you want me to tell her when I explain what’s going
on?”
 
Jeremy shrugged. There was a knock at the door and Stefan left him to go answer
it. He heard Stefan whispering to Elena but Jeremy ignored them. Jeremy knew he
should be the one to tell Elena about his relationship with Damon, but he just
couldn’t do it right now.
 
Jeremy felt hands on his shoulders. “Come on, Jer. Let’s get you
home.” Elena guided him out to the car. She held his hand during the
short ride back to their house. She led him up to his room and helped him into
bed. Jeremy got under the covers gratefully, unable to even thank Elena as she
said they would talk tomorrow.
 
*****
 
Jeremy was awoken by the sun streaming in through the window. It was late.
Jeremy rolled over and looked at his alarm clock. Elena must have turned the
alarm off last night.
 
“You’re awake.”
 
Jeremy sat up to find Elena standing in his doorway.
 
“I had Jenna call us both in sick today.”
 
“Thanks.”
 
“You’re welcome. Now go get ready.”
 
“What?”
 
“You, me and Jenna are going to Damon’s. So hurry up.”
 
Jeremy got out of bed and went through the motions of his morning routine,
though he wasn’t really aware of what he was doing. Jenna and Elena were
waiting for him when he got downstairs. Neither of them said a word, silently
ushering him out to the car.
 
When Stefan answered the door, obviously shocked to see them, Jeremy shrugged.
“Come on in guys. I’ll go get Damon.”
 
Jeremy sat in a chair that would be wide enough for both him and Damon to sit
on while Jenna and Elena sat on the couch. Damon came downstairs with a blanket
around him and actually offered him a small smile. “A party? For me? You
guys shouldn’t have.”
 
Damon unwrapped the blanket from around himself and sat down next to Jeremy. He
was about to get closer and then he paused, glancing over at Jenna and Elena.
 
“They know.”
 
“Good.” Damon curled up against Jeremy and covered them both with
the blanket. Jeremy put his arm around Damon. Stefan joined Jenna and Elena on
the couch. He could hear the three of them talking but he was focused on Damon.
Damon was looking up at him and even though he must have felt like hell, there
was a lightness in his eyes that Jeremy hadn’t seen before.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
 
Jeremy shrugged. “It wouldn’t have mattered.”
 
“So why do I get a party?”
 
Jeremy chuckled. “I have no idea. I woke up this morning and they told
me to get ready because we were coming here.”
 
“You know we’re alone now.”
 
Jeremy scrunched up his face but then looked up at the couch. The couch was
empty. “So we are.”
 
Damon looked up at him expectantly so Jeremy leaned in and kissed him. They
kissed for a while though they kept it chaste. Jeremy knew that Damon
wasn’t feeling up to anything more. When Damon pulled out of the kiss,
his breathing was highly labored. He rested his head against Jeremy’s
chest. Jeremy ran his hand along Damon’s arm.
 
Jenna, Elena, and Stefan came back into the room with some sandwiches.
“You up for some soup, Damon?” Stefan asked.
 
“I suppose I can try.”
 
“I’ll go heat you up some.”
 
Jeremy took his arm back from around Damon so that he could eat. Damon pulled
off of him a bit as well. Stefan brought out some soup for Damon and Damon sat
up straighter and took the bowl of soup from Stefan. The bowl wasn’t
even half full but Damon could barely hold it. He smiled sheepishly at Jeremy.
“I wish you didn’t have to see me like this.”
 
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Jeremy leaned over and kissed
Damon. Damon ate his soup slowly as Jeremy finished off his sandwich. Damon
didn’t even finish half of what was in his bowl before he was handing it
back to Stefan.
 
“Now if you all will excuse me, I need to get some sleep.” Damon
got off the chair with Stefan’s help and slowly made his way to the
stairs. Jeremy hopped off the chair and caught up with Damon, putting an arm
around his back.
 
“I can make it up the stairs on my own you know.”
 
“I’m not helping you. I’m just walking with you.”
 
“Are you gonna take a nap with me too?”
 
“That was the plan.” He helped Damon get into bed and then
settled in next to him. Damon lay on his back so Jeremy curled up next to him
and wrapped his arm around Damon, kissing Damon’s cheek. “Sleep.
I’ll be here when you wake up.”
 
Damon didn’t answer him. He was already fast asleep. Jeremy
didn’t sleep. He stayed awake so he could keep an eye on Damon. He tried
to process that Damon would be dead in about a year. How could someone process
something like that? He would make sure that Damon would enjoy the rest of his
time here, and Jeremy hadn’t been completely joking when he said that he
didn’t want to be deprived of Damon’s company for the year.
 
*****
 
There were kisses being pressed to his cheek. Jeremy opened his eyes, confused.
 
“It’s about time you woke up.”
 
“Oh right. You were taking a nap. I didn’t mean to fall
asleep.” He met Damon’s lips for a kiss and Damon pulled him in
closer. They made out for a while though they were still keeping things chaste.
Jeremy was the one who pulled out of the kiss this time. “We should
probably get back downstairs to the others.”
 
Damon groaned. “Do we have to?”
 
Jeremy smiled. “Well I guess we don’t have to.”
 
“That’s more like it,” Damon said, pulling Jeremy in for
another kiss. Jeremy sighed into the kiss and then there was a knock at the
door. They broke apart, groaning.
 
“Come in,” Damon called out. Stefan walked into the room.
“Hey, I just wanted to see how you were doing.”
 
“I’m fine.”
 
“Did you get any sleep?”
 
“Yes I did. Thanks, Mom.”
 
Stefan rolled his eyes. “Are you up for some more soup?”
 
“If you bring it up here. I don’t feel up to moving.”
 
Stefan nodded. “Can I get you anything, Jeremy?” Jeremy shook his
head. “I’m fine.”
 
Stefan left and Damon grabbed the TV remote and flipped through the channels.
He found an old horror movie on and left it there. He propped himself up in bed
and Jeremy followed suit. Elena came in with the soup for Damon. “Jenna
and I are going to take off for a bit. I’ll be back later this evening
to pick you up, okay?”
 
“Yeah. I’ll see you later.”
 
Elena closed the door behind her leaving Jeremy alone with Damon again. Damon
was struggling to keep the bowl in his hands because they were shaking so
badly. Jeremy moved and straddled Damon, taking the bowl from his hands. He
didn’t know if Damon would let him do this but he had to try. Jeremy got
a spoonful of soup and held it up to his lips to blow on it.
 
“It’s not going to be hot enough for you to do that.”
 
Jeremy pulled the spoon away from his lips. Damon watched intently as the spoon
neared his lips. Damon’s mouth parted when the spoon reached his lips.
Good. Damon was going to let him do this. He put the spoon past Damon’s
lips and they closed around it. Jeremy pulled the spoon back out and did it
again. Damon only took a few more spoonfuls before refusing to take anymore.
 
“You really should eat more.”
 
Damon shook his head. “I can’t.”
 
Jeremy sighed and put the bowl down on the nightstand, not moving from
Damon’s lap. He looped his arms around Damon’s neck and kissed
him. Damon wrapped his arms around Jeremy and pulled him in closer.
 
“Are you sure you don’t want any more soup?” Jeremy
murmured against Damon’s lips. Damon chuckled. “You can kiss me
all you want but I won’t be getting any more soup down.”
 
Jeremy smiled and rested his head on Damon’s shoulder, Damon’s
hands stroking his back.
 
“So do you eat anything besides soup?”
 
“Not usually.”
 
“How much soup do you usually eat?”
 
Damon shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess maybe about a full bowl
every few days.”
 
Jeremy lifted his head off of Damon’s shoulder to look at him. Jeremy
leaned in and kissed the top of Damon’s nose. Damon smiled and gently
pushed Jeremy off of his lap.
 
“What’s wrong?”
 
“I have to pee.”
 
Jeremy smiled. “Sorry.” Jeremy settled back against the headboard
and watched as Damon made his way slowly to the bathroom. He wanted to offer
his help but he didn’t think Damon would accept any more of his help
today. He noticed that Damon kept the door slightly ajar though. When Damon
walked out of the bathroom Jeremy held out his arms in silent invitation. Damon
chuckled and crawled into bed with him.
 
*****
 
A week had gone by and Damon was finally back at school. They were sitting in
English class now. Damon had shifted his desk so that he would be sitting
closer to Jeremy. Jeremy was used to Mrs. Henderson ignoring Damon, but she was
ignoring Jeremy now too. Apparently anyone associated with Damon was doomed
too.
 
They weren’t talking or being loud, but they were writing ridiculous
notes back and forth like a couple of girls. These weren’t the typical
notes of girls though and some of them were quite naughty. Jeremy was sure that
by the end of class he was blushing, especially since Damon was smiling at him.
 
When class ended, Damon walked out with Jeremy, slinging an arm around his
shoulders. Jeremy stiffened but didn’t stop walking. He wasn’t
sure how he felt about the entire school knowing but then he realized it
didn’t matter. The important people knew and didn’t care so why
should he care what anyone else though. He relaxed into Damon as they made
their way towards Jeremy’s locker. Damon waited as Jeremy went through
his books. “For a minute there I thought you didn’t want to be
seen with me.”
 
Jeremy shook his head. “That had nothing to do with you.”
 
“So it was because I’m a guy then.”
 
“Yep. But I’m over it.”
 
“I noticed, but let’s make sure you’re really over
it.” Damon turned Jeremy around and pressed him against the lockers,
kissing him.
 
“Do you really need to do that here?”
 
Jeremy laughed into Damon’s mouth at the approach of Elena.
 
“Just making sure your brother is comfortable with being with a guy at
school.”
 
Elena rolled his eyes. “Well great, now that you’ve gotten that
out of your system can I give you guys a ride?”
 
“Actually, I feel like walking. It’ll be nice to get out after
being stuck in the house for so long.”
 
“Okay then. I’ll be by to pick you up later, Jeremy.”
 
“Yeah, see you then.”
 
“She’s been so nice since she found out about my little
problem.”
 
“She was actually starting to come around before that.”
 
“Liar.”
 
Jeremy laughed and shut his locker. “Well maybe not as much as you would
want from her, but she was dealing.”
 
Damon kept an arm slung around him until the school was no longer in view and
then he lowered his arm and took Jeremy’s hand in his.
 
“Did Stefan go back to school today?”
 
“Yeah.”
 
“I don’t understand why he can’t defer for a semester or
two and spend time with you.”
 
“Because I told him not to.”
 
“But you shouldn’t have to go through this on your own.”
 
“If he were here all the time then he would be hovering over me all the
time. Besides, now you and your sister and your aunt know. I can have all the
hovering I want now without him ruining his life for me.”
 
Jeremy gave Damon’s hand a squeeze to let him know that he understood.
Damon didn’t want his disease to keep Stefan from living his life. He
wanted Stefan to be as happy as he possibly could.
 
After Damon let them into his house, Jeremy made his way to the kitchen to fix
his own snack. It wasn’t much, just a few cookies and something to
drink. When he finished, Damon was waiting for him on the couch. Jeremy
straddled his lap and kissed him. Damon’s tongue licked at his lips,
seeking entrance, and Jeremy knew that Damon had only been holding back because
he hadn’t been feeling well. It was what he had assumed all along
anyway.
 
Jeremy opened his mouth to Damon’s tongue and groaned when
Damon’s tongue slid against his. Though he had kissed girls before, he
had never done so with tongue. He knew Damon had experience though and he let
Damon lead the kiss, mimicking Damon’s moves and learning from him.
 
Damon tugged both of them until they were lying on the couch. Their arms were
wrapped around each other and their legs were tangled together. Jeremy was hard
and after a while he couldn’t help but rock against Damon. Damon pulled
out of the kiss, surprising Jeremy.
 
“What’s wrong?”
 
“I’m sorry. It’s just…” Damon sighed.
“I can’t. Or at least I haven’t been able to in a while
and I don’t know if I’ll be able to again.”
 
“Oh, okay,” Jeremy replied without hesitation. He tried to start
kissing Damon again but Damon wasn’t having any of it.
 
“I can still take care of you though.”
 
“Nah. Let’s wait and see if you can again.”
 
“Are you sure?”
 
Jeremy smiled and moved in to kiss Damon again. This time Damon let him. They
made out for a while longer but then Jeremy had to pull out of the kiss.
 
“What’s the matter?”
 
“Sorry. I just need a minute.”
 
Damon sighed. “I could just take care of that.”
 
Jeremy let out a soft chuckle. “I know and you will, but not
today.”
 
“What if it never happens again for me?”
 
“Then it doesn’t. You can probably still obtain some pleasure,
right?”
 
“Yeah.”
 
“Then it doesn’t matter.”
 
Damon was probably worried that Jeremy would be upset if they never had sex. If
it didn’t happen then it didn’t happen. Jeremy didn’t want
Damon to feel like it was something that was necessary for them. He closed his
eyes and buried his face in Damon’s neck, breathing him in. He let his
breathing even out and he thought of anything that would help cool him down.
 
When he was calm he opened his eyes and shifted so that he could look at Damon.
Damon was watching him, a smirk on his face. Jeremy rolled his eyes and pulled
away from Damon, attempting to get off the couch. He managed to stand up when
he was pulled right back down. Damon was sitting now and had pulled Jeremy down
next to him. He didn’t do anything, but he held onto Jeremy just a
little too tightly, like he was afraid that Jeremy was going to run off and
leave him. That was probably something that troubled Damon more often than he
would admit - that he was afraid of being alone again, that he was afraid the
companionship he had found would vanish. Jeremy wrapped his arms around Damon
and kissed him. He wasn’t going anywhere.
***** Chapter 2 *****
[http://pics.livejournal.com/disturbinglynic/pic/00017pf0]
Halloween was a big deal in Mystic Falls and there was a huge Halloween bash
going on at Damon’s right now. Damon had his arm around Jeremy and was
leading him around the party. By now the entire school knew that he and Damon
were together. It’s not like they had made any secret of it. Damon, who
it turns out is kind of possessive, could usually be seen with his arm around
Jeremy’s shoulders.
 
Both of them were dressed up, though neither of them had wanted to. They made
their costumes simple as a consequence. Damon was dressed as a vampire. He was
in his usual black clothes and had only added a cape and teeth. Jeremy was his
victim. They had made it look like he had puncture wounds and blood on his
neck.
 
Neither of them wanted to be at this party either. They would both much rather
be upstairs in bed, talking about nothing or making out or sharing a joint.
Here they were at the party, though, with Damon now leading him to the kitchen.
Jeremy grabbed a cupcake and Damon scooped off some of the frosting it and ate
it, surprising Jeremy. He raised his eyebrows at Damon but Damon just shrugged.
Jeremy took a bite of the cupcake and when he was done chewing Damon swooped in
to kiss him, licking away any frosting that Jeremy had missed.
 
“Don’t you ever stop?” complained Caroline. Damon gave him
one last lick before turning towards Caroline. “I think you’re
just jealous.”
 
“Ew.”
 
“No, it’s okay. You can admit that you’re jealous.”
 
Jeremy rolled his eyes and went back to his cupcake as the two bickered. Jeremy
finished his cupcake and was about to lick his fingers clean when Damon grabbed
his hand and sucked a couple of fingers into his mouth. Caroline threw them a
disgusted look and ran off, probably to complain to Elena. Damon chuckled and
finished licking Jeremy’s fingers clean.
 
“Was that fun?”
 
“Immensely, but I can think of a couple of things that are even more
fun. What do you say we ditch this party and go upstairs.”
 
“I say finally. Let’s get out of here.”
 
Damon led him up the stairs and away from all of the guests. They made out on
Damon’s bed for a while before Damon pulled out a joint. They passed it
back and forth, talking about nothing, and sometimes sharing the smoke with
each other. Jeremy had the joint in his mouth when Elena walked in.
 
“Jer, I’ll probably be leaving in half an hour, is that okay with
you?”
 
Jeremy looked at Damon and Damon shrugged.
 
“Yeah. Sure. I’ll meet you downstairs then.”
 
Elena turned around to walk out of the room but stopped, turning back to face
Jeremy. “I really wish you wouldn’t do that.”
 
“She’s right you know,” Damon said when Elena had left.
 
“Right about what?”
 
“You shouldn’t be doing this.”
 
“She didn’t say I shouldn’t be, she said she wished I
wouldn’t.”
 
“Same thing.”
 
“What do you care?”
 
“Seriously kid, promise me that after I’m gone you’ll
quit, and you’ll quit all of the other shit we do too.”
 
Jeremy looked at Damon to see if he was joking, but he wasn’t. His face
was completely serious. “Yeah, okay. If you want me to then I
will.”
 
Damon nodded, satisfied.
 
“I’m hungry.”
 
Damon laughed. “Let’s go downstairs and get you some food
then.”
 
Back in the kitchen Jeremy scarfed down another couple of cupcakes, some chips,
and more than a handful of chocolate.
 
“Did you get enough to eat?” Damon joked.
 
“Shut up,” Jeremy muttered. Damon pulled him in for a kiss, which
Jeremy was really getting into when a throat was cleared from behind him. He
turned to find Elena. “Has it been a half hour already?”
 
She nodded. Jeremy sighed and followed Elena out of the house, dragging Damon
with him. She really had the worst timing.
 
“We still on for tomorrow?” Jeremy asked.
 
“Absolutely. So until then…” Damon leaned in and kissed
Jeremy goodbye.
 
“I’m still hungry,” Jeremy complained to nobody in
particular, though it was just him and his sister now. Elena sighed. “Do
you want to pick up a burger on the way home?”
 
“Can we?”
 
Elena nodded.
 
“Thanks. And just so you know Damon made me promise to quit after
he’s…” Jeremy gulped. He couldn’t finish that
sentence. It was something he tried so hard not to think about, but it was
something that haunted his dreams. Elena took his hand in hers.
“That’s good.”
 
They spent the rest of the drive in silence, Elena only breaking it when she
ordered Jeremy’s burger.
 
“Do you need anything?” she asked before he headed upstairs.
“No thanks. I’m fine.” He wasn’t fine though and as
he showered, washing off his fake blood, a few tears mixed in with the water.
He blamed the pot. Not that it mattered anyway. Any evidence that any tears had
fallen was already down the drain.
 
*****
 
The first part of November had gone by quickly and now he, Elena, Jenna, and
even Alaric were staying at the large Salvatore house with both Damon and
Stefan. It was Wednesday night and they had just arrived at the house. It was
Stefan who answered the door. “He’s sick,” Stefan said,
answering Jeremy’s unspoken question.
 
“But I just saw him a few hours ago.”
 
“I know. It his him fast. He’s in the library.”
 
Jeremy pushed past everyone, dropping his bags by the front door, and hurried
to the library. Damon was bundled under his blanket in the chair by the fire.
Jeremy climbed into the chair with him. They sat in silence, just watching the
fire, until Stefan came into the room. “We should get you upstairs and
in bed, Damon.”
 
Damon nodded, already half asleep. Jeremy helped Damon out of the chair,
wrapping an arm around his waist to help him up the stairs, Stefan following
close behind.
 
“Can I get you guys anything?” Stefan asked when they had gotten
Damon settled into bed. Jeremy shook his head.
 
“Are you going to stay in here, Jeremy?” Jeremy didn’t
know. They hadn’t done the overnight thing yet. Damon squeezed his hand
and Jeremy had his answer. “Yeah, I’m gonna stay.”
 
Stefan nodded and left them alone. Jeremy stripped down so that he was just in
his boxers and a t-shirt and crawled into bed with Damon. Before Jeremy could
say anything Stefan was back, but only long enough to drop off Jeremy’s
bag for him.
 
Damon pulled his hair off and set it on the nightstand. He curled into Jeremy
and fell asleep without uttering a word. Jeremy smiled and kissed the top of
Damon’s head. He hoped that Damon would feel a bit better tomorrow so
that he could enjoy Thanksgiving with everyone. Although it probably really
didn’t matter. It’s not like Damon would be eating with them. He
would sit at the table and watch as everyone devoured their food, maybe picking
at some mashed potatoes himself. It made Jeremy feel sick to his stomach
knowing that Damon wouldn’t be able to enjoy the holiday the same way
everyone else would be.
 
“You’re thinking way too loudly.”
 
Jeremy jumped. “I thought you were sleeping.”
 
“I was asleep, but your thoughts woke me up. Stop thinking.”
 
“I would love to.” Jeremy felt Damon press his lips to his neck.
It wasn’t really a kiss and Damon’s lips lingered there.
 
“You should go back to sleep.”
 
“How can I do that when your thoughts are keeping me awake? See, you
need to stop thinking for my health.”
 
Jeremy snorted and tilted Damon’s head up to kiss him.
“Goodnight, Damon.”
 
“Night, kid.”
 
*****
 
Jeremy was the first to wake up. He wasn’t really that surprised. He
slid out of bed as quietly as he could, trying not to jar Damon. He grabbed his
bag and locked himself in the bathroom. Well, he didn’t actually lock
himself in. He wanted to make sure Damon could get in if he needed to.
 
Jeremy turned the water on scalding and just stood in the spray. He had slept
well and was glad that he would get to spend the rest of the weekend doing the
same.
 
It got a little frustrating at times, being with Damon but not actually being
with him. Jeremy was dealing though and he was still hoping that Damon’s
condition wasn’t permanent or was at least treatable. Jeremy was more
than willing to wait. Damon seemed to be getting impatient though and Jeremy
knew that he hated not being able to give himself to Jeremy fully, that he
hated that there was something that he just couldn’t do.
 
Jeremy understood where Damon was coming from and a part of him felt like he
wasn’t helping matters by holding off on doing anything sexual. Still,
Jeremy felt it would be better if they waited and not because he was hoping
that Damon’s problem would no longer be a problem.
 
He made quick work of washing himself and by the time he was done and dried and
dressed, Damon was still asleep. He hadn’t planned on Damon being sick
so he hadn’t planned on having much free time, but he had brought a book
with him anyway. It was one that Damon had suggested he read. He sat in the
chair and read, waiting for Damon to wake up.
 
Jeremy was a couple of chapters into his book when Damon finally stirred.
Jeremy walked over to the bed and sat down next to Damon. “How are you
feeling?”
 
“Like I could sleep the rest of the day.”
 
“So why don’t you? Nobody is forcing you to sit downstairs all
day.”
 
Damon sighed and sat up. “No, I should get up.”
 
“Well we can come back up here later.”
 
Damon leaned over and kissed him before getting out of bed and heading for the
shower. Jeremy settled himself back in the chair and worked on his book some
more. When Damon came out of the bathroom he was wearing nothing more than a
towel.
 
“Really?” Jeremy asked.
 
“Does my nakedness bother you, kid?” Damon was smirking at him.
Jeremy shook his head and went back to his book. He listened to Damon get
dressed and only looked away from his book when Damon let out an exasperated
sigh. “What’s the matter?”
 
Damon was fussing with his hair. “There are just some days where I
really hate this thing.”
 
“So don’t wear it.” Jeremy got off the chair and went over
to the mirror where Damon was standing.
 
“In front of other people? I don’t know.”
 
“Damon, nobody down there is going to care.”
 
“But I look terrible without it.”
 
Jeremy snorted. “I think you look just as hot.” He left Damon
standing in front of the mirror and waited for him out in the hall. When Damon
walked out of the bedroom he wasn’t wearing the wig. Jeremy
didn’t acknowledge it and they made their way down to the kitchen.
 
Everyone was already up and the kitchen smelled of the food that was already
cooking. Jeremy went straight for the plate of cinnamon buns. He devoured two
while everyone around him talked, and thankfully nobody mentioned
Damon’s lack of hair, and when he finished, Damon kissed him, licking
out all of the sweetness of the cinnamon bun. Jeremy laughed into the kiss,
especially since everyone around them was making gagging noises. When they
pulled apart they were both laughing.
 
“Okay you two, get out of the kitchen so that we can finish
cooking.”
 
Jeremy shot Jenna a grateful look and dragged Damon into the nearest room with
a TV. They settled into a chair together and watched some holiday movie that
was on. Jeremy didn’t pay much attention to it. He was more focused on
the warm body pressed against him. His body might be warm but Damon was far
from it. He started shivering after they had only been sitting there for a few
minutes.
 
“I better go get your blanket and get a fire started.” He ran
into Stefan in the hall. He was holding Damon’s blanket. “I was
just going to get that for him.”
 
“I figured he would need it. I’ll come start the fire for you
too.” Stefan handed him the blanket.
 
“Thanks.”
 
“And thank you. I don’t know what you did but I’ve been
trying to convince Damon to walk around without that wig ever since he got
it.”
 
Jeremy shrugged. “It’s not like he’s going to go to school
without it or something.”
 
“I know, but it’s a start.”
 
Jeremy got back into the chair with Damon and covered them both with the
blanket as Stefan got a fire going. Damon curled into Jeremy as best as he
could, burying his nose into Jeremy’s neck. Jeremy let him, wrapping his
arms around him and zoning out to whatever was playing on the television. At
some point Damon fell asleep in his arms.
 
The smells from the kitchen were only getting stronger and his stomach was
grumbling again. He hoped they would be eating soon. Besides, the sooner they
ate the sooner he could get Damon upstairs for a proper nap.
 
It was still a while longer before Jenna poked her head into the room to let
him know that the food was ready. He looked at the sleeping form curled against
him. He hated to wake Damon. He kissed the top of Damon’s head and moved
further down until he was kissing Damon’s cheek. Damon stirred, blue
eyes peering up at him from under heavy-lidded eyes. “Sorry to wake you
but the food is done.”
 
Damon blinked a couple of times and then shifted so that Jeremy would be able
to get up.
 
“You’re not coming?”
 
Damon shook his head.
 
“Do you want me to bring my food back in here and sit with you?”
 
Damon shook his head again. “Go eat with your family. I’m
probably just going to sleep some more.”
 
“You should go back upstairs then.”
 
Jeremy got out of the chair and helped Damon up. “Do you want me to go
with you upstairs?”
 
“I’m okay. Go have food. I’ll see you when you’re
done.” Damon leaned in and kissed him before turning around and heading
for the stairs. Jeremy really wanted to go with Damon. He would just have to
eat fast. Elena came into the room before he could leave.
 
“Where’s Damon?”
 
“He’s tired. He went upstairs to sleep.”
 
Elena walked up to him and put an arm around his shoulders. “Come on. He
won’t be without you for that long.”
 
“He told me to sit and eat with you guys anyway.”
 
Elena started walking, taking Jeremy with her.
 
“He just looked so miserable. I hate to leave him alone.”
 
“He’s just going to sleep anyway, right?”
 
“Yes.”
 
“Then it won’t kill you to eat with us.”
 
Jeremy knew she was right but he still hated leaving Damon when he looked so
miserable. Jeremy sat at the table with everyone else, telling Stefan that
Damon went upstairs to sleep. Jeremy stayed out of the conversation as he ate.
He didn’t have much to say anyway. The food was probably delicious but
he barely tasted anything. He hurried through his food as fast as he could and
took some pumpkin pie and headed upstairs. He hoped Damon might be able to have
even just a tiny piece of the pie.
 
Damon was asleep when he got to the bedroom so rather than trying to climb into
bed with him, Jeremy sat on the chair and ate his pie, leaving some, just in
case. He picked up his book and began reading again, but it was warm in the
room and he had just eaten so much food, so he gave up on the book and crawled
into bed with Damon. In his sleep Damon moved closer to Jeremy. Jeremy smiled
and pulled him even closer. He fell asleep almost instantly.
 
*****
 
Damon woke him with kisses. “I take it you’re feeling
better,” Jeremy murmured against Damon’s lips.
“Mm,” was the only reply that he got.
 
A knock at the door interrupted what had been becoming a really good make out
session. Damon sighed and Jeremy groaned into the pillow.
 
“Come in,” Damon called out. Jeremy kept his head buried in the
pillow so he couldn’t see who it was that walked in.
 
“How are you feeling?” It was Stefan that walked in to check up
on Damon.
 
“Better.”
 
“Are you hungry at all? I can bring you some soup.”
 
“I’m good. Thanks.”
 
“What about you, Jeremy?”
 
Jeremy shooed him off. He could hear Stefan laughing all the way down the hall.
 
“I brought a piece of pumpkin pie up here with me. There’s still
a tiny bit left in case you wanted to try eating some.”
 
“Sorry, but I think that’s going to happen.”
 
“That’s okay. I thought I’d try.”
 
Damon pulled him in for another kiss, and they kissed until Jeremy wanted to
rut against Damon until he came. He pulled out of the kiss then and got off the
bed, grabbing his little bit of pumpkin pie and finishing it off.
 
“Do you want to try going back downstairs?”
 
“Well since I can’t have what I really want.” Damon got
off the bed and walked over to Jeremy. Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Yeah,
yeah. I know. I’m a horrible person.”
 
Damon smirked. “Just as long as you know it.”
 
Jeremy glared at him and then walked out of the room. He heard Damon chuckling
as he followed Jeremy down the stairs. Elena was just getting off the phone
when they found everybody still in the kitchen.
 
“Damon, do you think you’re up to having some company?”
 
“Why?”
 
“Because Caroline and Bonnie are determined to see me.”
 
“So why can’t you just go meet them somewhere?”
 
It was Stefan who answered. “Damon, it’s time you start letting
people know.”
 
Jeremy could feel the anger coming off of Damon. He rested his hand on
Damon’s lower back, hoping that his touch would calm Damon down. It did,
but only slightly.
 
“You mean so everyone can start looking at me like I have the plague? Or
maybe you mean so that everyone can feel sorry for me and give me sympathetic
looks.”
 
“Damon, that’s now what- “
 
“No. You’re right. Elena, go ahead and have Bonnie and Caroline
over. I’ll go put my hair on.” Damon stumbled out of the room
with Jeremy close on his heels. He stood next to Damon at the mirror as Damon
tried to fix his hair, scowling at the mirror as he did so. Jeremy gently
tugged the wig off of Damon’s head.
 
“I can’t. It was one thing in front of your family, but in front
of your sister’s friends? I just don’t think I can.”
 
“If you decide to let people know, starting with Caroline and Bonnie is
the easy thing to do.”
 
Damon sighed in defeat. “Are you gonna make me leave the wig at home for
school too?”
 
“I’m not making you do anything.”
 
“Then why am I doing this?” Damon was smiling at him in the
mirror. Jeremy put an arm around him. “I think I know why.”
 
They heard the doorbell ring.
 
“Ready for this?”
 
Damon shook his head.
 
“You don’t have to.”
 
“I know. Let’s go.” Damon took Jeremy’s hand and
held it tightly.
 
“Please don’t tell me they’re upstairs having sex.”
Caroline’s voice drifted up the stairs.
 
“We weren’t having sex but you’re just in time for the
show, right kid?”
 
“We’re putting on a show? Why didn’t I know about
this?”
 
“Oh. Did I forget to tell? Sorry ‘bout that.” Damon
smirked at both Bonnie and Caroline as they walked by them. They probably
thought nothing out of the ordinary but Damon was gripping his hand so tightly
that it hurt.
 
“See,” Jeremy whispered, “nobody said anything about your
hair. Probably because they were worried that we were really going to put on a
show for them.”
 
Damon snorted but didn’t say anything.
 
“Do you think you can ease off my hand now?”
 
“Sorry.” Damon eased up on his hand but still held on to it. He
felt a shiver run through Damon.
 
“Are you cold?”
 
Damon nodded.
 
“Let’s get you by a fireplace then.” Jeremy led Damon into
the sitting room and into a chair near the fireplace. Alaric built up the fire
because Stefan had gone upstairs to get Damon his blanket. He could see Bonnie
and Caroline trying not to stare at Damon. Now that Damon wasn’t feeling
quite up to par, one could make the connection that the bit of fuzz on his head
wasn’t because he had shaved it.
 
Stefan came back with the blanket and covered both him and Damon. Conversation
went on around them as it usually did these days.
 
“This isn’t so bad,” Jeremy whispered in Damon’s
ear. Damon shrugged. “Not yet. Not until they spread it around school on
Monday.”
 
“You don’t know that they’ll do that. Elena will ask them
to keep it a secret.”
 
Damon snorted. “Girls can’t keep secrets.”
 
“Elena kept it a secret.”
 
“Yeah, until she decided that she wanted Bonnie and Caroline over
tonight.”
 
“I’m sorry.”
 
Damon sighed. “I suppose it was bound to happen.”
 
“And you’re not alone. We’re all here for you.”
 
“I guess that’s not so bad then.”
 
*****
 
Monday afternoon and Damon was back in his wig and they were back in English
together. There were no whispers going around campus about Damon’s
condition, not even the tiniest hint of a rumor. Bonnie and Caroline had kept
their mouths shut. Jeremy knew that Elena had explained everything to them but
neither had been acting any differently around Damon, for which Jeremy was
grateful.
 
“Wanna go for burgers after school?” Damon asked. Jeremy grinned
at him. “You’re on.”
 
*****
 
The first half of the school year had already gone. Like they had during
Thanksgiving break, they were all staying at the Salvatore house for winter
break. Christmas had been full of gift giving and food. Even Damon had managed
to eat a bit with them.
 
It was New Year’s Eve now and they were all sitting around the
television waiting for the ball at Times Square to drop. Damon hadn’t
been sick over the break so far, and Jeremy hoped that it stayed that way.
Something was up though. Damon had been getting moodier as the day had
progressed.
 
With the ball nearing dropping time, Damon was downright surly. “Why do
we even celebrate this? It’s just another year. What’s the big
fucking deal?”
 
Jeremy should have seen it earlier. Damon’s bad mood was caused by the
fact that Damon wouldn’t be around for the next New Year’s Eve.
He wouldn’t be surviving the year.
 
Jeremy took Damon’s hand and led him up the stairs. He dragged him into
the bedroom and pulled Damon to him, kissing him. He slid his hands under
Damon’s shirt, letting Damon know that this time was different, that
this time they would do what Damon had been wanting to do. This was what Jeremy
had been waiting for. It was finally the moment for this, even though Damon
still wasn’t fully functional.
 
“Are you sure?” Damon murmured.
 
“Yes.”
 
“Good. Get out of your clothes and get on the bed.”
 
Jeremy hurried to comply, watching as Damon closed the door and then started a
fire before stripping off his own clothes and getting into bed with Jeremy.
Damon pulled the covers over them both, looking sheepish. “Just for
now.”
 
“It’s fine, Damon. Whatever you need.”
 
Damon rolled on top of him, bare flesh along bare flesh, sending shivers
through Jeremy. They kissed for a while, and Jeremy ran his fingers along
Damon’s body, anywhere he could reach.
 
Damon left his lips and trailed kisses along his neck, biting down on the pulse
point, Jeremy groaning beneath him. Damon made his way down Jeremy’s
chest, pausing to suckle at each of his nipples. Jeremy was writhing beneath
him now. “Damon,” he pleaded.
 
Damon just chuckled and continued exploring Jeremy’s body until Jeremy
thought he was going to burst. Finally Jeremy felt Damon’s lips around
him and then they were sliding down. He really wanted to watch Damon do this so
he threw off the covers and hoped that Damon wouldn’t get too cold.
Damon smirked around his cock and Jeremy watched as Damon’s lips slid up
and down him, as he sank into that wet heat, disappearing into Damon’s
mouth.
 
Jeremy had put this off for so long and Damon had really worked him up. It
didn’t take long. He came in Damon’s mouth and Damon swallowed it
all down. He kissed his way back up Jeremy’s body, bringing the covers
up with him.
 
He wrapped an arm around Jeremy and kissed his cheek, waiting for Jeremy to
come down from his orgasm. When Jeremy’s breathing was under control, he
rolled onto his side to face Damon. He ran a hand down Damon’s body,
knowing Damon would be soft, but wanting to touch him anyway. Damon grabbed his
hand and pulled it back up though.
 
“What’s wrong?”
 
“I’m perfectly happy just taking care of you.”
 
“So what? I don’t get to touch you at all?”
 
“For now. I’m going to talk to Stefan about going to the doctor
to see what can be done.”
 
“You don’t have to, you know. I’m happy just like
this.”
 
“I know, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to give
you something more.”
 
Jeremy pulled him in for a kiss, sighing happily into it. Jeremy was going to
try to not get his hopes up but it would be nice if they could get something
done. It would be nice to have all of Damon. “We can talk to him in the
morning, okay?”
 
Damon gave him a huge grin. “Thanks.”
 
*****
 
The bed was empty by the time Jeremy woke up. He groaned and got up, heading
for the shower. When he was finished and made it downstairs he managed to catch
enough of Damon and Stefan’s conversation to know what they were talking
about.
 
“I thought we were going to talk to Stefan together.”
 
Damon shrugged. Stefan picked up the phone so he could make the appointment for
Damon.
 
“Oh, I need to get tested too.”
 
“For what?”
 
“Everything.”
 
Damon had already told Jeremy about what he had done when he had first found
out he had cancer. Damon had done a lot of stupid things, which had also
included having a lot of unprotected sex with a lot of different guys and
girls.
 
Stefan hung up the phone with the doctor. “Well, he can see you
tomorrow, Damon.”
 
“Great.” Damon winked at Jeremy and Jeremy rolled his eyes.
 
*****
 
They were back in school before Damon had gotten his test results. He had
gotten something from the doctor so that he could have sex, but had insisted
they hold off until Damon’s test results came in because Damon
didn’t want to use condoms with Jeremy.
 
That didn’t mean they hadn’t done anything. Damon hadn’t
taken any of his pills, but had instead focused on Jeremy’s pleasure and
on readying Jeremy for when they finally did have sex.
 
It was Friday afternoon and class had just ended. They were on their way to
Damon’s house, taking their time as they walked. It was cold and Damon
was bundled in more layers than everyone else. It made him look like he was at
an actual decent weight. Damon’s house was overly warm, at least for
Jeremy. It was still too cool for Damon though.
 
“Hey, Damon, I just wanted to let you know that the doctor called me
today. Your blood work came back clean. Try not to have too much fun.”
 
Damon had just played a message that had been left on the answering machine for
him. He was grinning wickedly at Jeremy now. Jeremy smiled and ran up the
stairs laughing as he went. He could hear Damon running after him, but he had
stripped and gotten onto the bed before Damon had even made it to the room,
already panting.
 
“You didn’t have to run after me.”
 
“Well on the plus side it warmed me up.”
 
Jeremy pulled back the covers and crawled under them. Damon joined him once he
had stripped off his clothes and taken his pill.
 
“We don’t have to do this under the covers.”
 
“It’s okay. I don’t mind.”
 
Damon lay on top of Jeremy and kissed him while they waited for Damon’s
pill to kick in. Damon kept some of his weight off of Jeremy though it
didn’t really matter. Damon was so thin that Jeremy could take his full
weight easily.
 
He could feel when the pill kicked in. Damon moved away from his lips to kiss
his neck.
 
“Damon, how about you skip the foreplay just this once.”
 
Damon chuckled. “Impatient are we?”
 
“Yes, now come on.”
 
Damon chuckled again but grabbed the lube from the nightstand drawer. He
stretched Jeremy easily and then spread some lube on himself. He eased into
Jeremy, pausing when he had buried himself inside of Jeremy to let him adjust.
Jeremy pulled him in for a kiss, squirming underneath Damon to get him to move.
Damon took the hint and started thrusting into Jeremy.
 
It was so much better than anything they had done so far, but he could see that
Damon was getting tired. Jeremy wrapped a hand himself and began stroking in
time to Damon’s thrusts, focusing on how good it felt rather than the
fact that he needed to come now because he didn’t think Damon would take
kindly to Jeremy rolling them so that he could ride Damon. Damon would probably
see it as taking pity on him.
 
Jeremy was getting close. He broke the kiss and threw his head back against the
pillow, baring his neck. Damon bit down and Jeremy came. Rather than continuing
to thrust to reach his own orgasm, he stopped. He rested his forehead on
Jeremy’s shoulder, breathing heavily. “It’s been so long
and with this stupid disease and everything... I’m not sure my body
remembers how.”
 
“Well let me help with that.” Jeremy rolled them, careful not to
let Damon slip out of him, so that he was on top. He was a little sensitive
from his orgasm and he was a little raw, but he rode Damon until Damon finally
came inside of him.
 
He collapsed on the bed next to Damon and was immediately pulled into
Damon’s arms. Jeremy chuckled. “Feeling good?”
 
Damon let out a groan. “So good. I’d almost forgotten how good
that was.”
 
“Yeah, that was really good.”
 
“That’s right, that was your first time.”
 
“Yep.”
 
Damon pulled Jeremy in close and kissed his cheek. “Well I’ll
tell you a secret. That was the best sex I’ve ever had.”
 
Jeremy snorted. He didn’t believe Damon. He was probably just trying to
make Jeremy feel better.
 
“I’m serious.”
 
“Yeah, okay.”
 
“Jeremy.”
 
Jeremy turned to look at Damon. Damon cupped his cheek and kissed him.
 
“Yeah, okay,” he whispered, and this time he meant it.
***** Chapter 3 *****
[http://pics.livejournal.com/disturbinglynic/pic/000165sa]
It was the end of February now and still too cold for Damon. He still had to
wear layers to school though nobody noticed, or if they did they didn’t
say anything. They were sitting in the back of the classroom not really paying
attention to what was going on. Jeremy had long ago given up on bringing
anything to class with him. Why bother? He paid more attention to Damon than
anything else. For the most part. Sometimes he just let his mind wander and
rest, kind of like he was doing now.
 
That’s why he was surprised when he felt Damon’s hand on him.
 
“Jeremy.”
 
Jeremy looked over at Damon and saw that he was sick. They had been lucky so
far in this regard but it looked like the whole school was about to start
gossiping about Damon. He hurried out of his seat, ignoring the teacher yelling
at him. He helped Damon out of his seat and out of the classroom. He let Damon
collapse to the floor when they were out of the room and pulled out his cell
phone. He sent Elena a text message.
 
Need to get Damon home now.
 
It wasn’t even a couple of minutes before Elena showed up. Together they
helped Damon up and to Elena’s car. Jeremy called Stefan on the way to
Damon’s house. Stefan said he would be there as soon as he could. Jeremy
leaned back in his seat and pulled Damon to him. They were sitting in the back
together.
 
Elena pulled up to the Salvatore house and Jeremy helped Damon out of the car.
Between him and Elena they managed to get Damon upstairs.
 
“Why don’t you make it warmer in here. I’m going to help
Damon change into something more comfortable.”
 
Elena went off to do what he asked while Jeremy helped Damon into a pair of
pajamas. He got Damon under the covers and went to get the fire started. With
that done he grabbed a bunch of blankets and piled them onto Damon, getting
under the covers with him. Despite how warm it was Damon was still shivering
under the covers. He curled into Jeremy, seeking out his warmth.
 
“I just want this to be over with.” Damon was speaking through
chattering teeth.
 
“What?”
 
“I just want to die. I just want this to be over with. Just kill me,
please.”
 
Damon was whispering but Jeremy could hear what he was saying easily.
“Damon, don’t say things like that.”
 
“Why can’t you just put me out of my misery?!” Damon
shouted, turning away from Jeremy. Jeremy had never seen Damon like this, and
it scared him. He’s seen Damon despair before but this was even worse.
 
Jeremy got out of bed and left the room. When he got downstairs Stefan was
already here. “What’s wrong,” he asked.
 
Jeremy just shook his head. Stefan walked up to him and put a hand on his
shoulder. “Just ignore whatever he said to you. It’s nothing he
hasn’t said to me before.” Stefan looked over his shoulder.
“You shouldn’t be out of bed.”
 
Jeremy turned around and Damon was standing there. He was shivering and looked
completely miserable. “Jeremy.”
 
Jeremy shook his head and turned to Elena. “I want to go home.”
 
Elena looked confused but thankfully didn’t ask any questions. Damon
tried calling out after him as they left but Jeremy ignored him and he could
hear Stefan coaxing Damon back up the stairs.
 
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Elena asked when they
were in the car.
 
“Not really, no. I’d rather not talk about it.”
 
“Okay, well if you want to, I’m here.”
 
Jeremy spent the rest of the day in a kind of daze. He ignored everyone and
didn’t eat dinner. He felt sick to his stomach. Part of it was from what
Damon had said and part of it was because he had walked out on Damon. He
couldn’t sleep. He just tossed and turned.
 
Finally he got out of bed and headed to the kitchen to maybe get something to
eat. He wasn’t sure he could actually eat anything though. Elena and
Jenna were still up talking.
 
“So you couldn’t sleep either?”
 
Jeremy shook his head.
 
“Do you want to go back?”
 
Jeremy nodded.
 
“Go get changed and I’ll take you over there.”
 
“Thanks, Elena.”
 
Jeremy didn’t change clothes though. There was no point when he was just
going to crawl into bed with Damon anyway. He packed a bag with some things for
at least a week because he would be staying with Damon until he felt better. He
threw his bag into the car and both Elena and Jenna took him over to the
Salvatore house.
 
Stefan opened the door quickly. He had probably already been awake. “Go
on up,” he told Jeremy. Jeremy walked into Damon’s room, dropped
his bag and got into bed with Damon. Damon stirred and rolled over. They stared
at each other for a few minutes before finally Damon spoke. “I’m
sorry.”
 
“I know. Me too.” Jeremy pulled Damon to him. “How are you
feeling?”
 
“Really crappy. I don’t think I’ve been this sick
before.”
 
Jeremy swallowed hard. “Well I’m not going anywhere.”
 
“I kind of love you, you know that?”
 
That wasn’t something they had said to each other yet though he
wasn’t sure why. “Yeah, well I kind of love you too.”
 
Damon smiled and kissed him. “Good thing we got that settled,”
Damon joked.
 
“Yeah, good thing.” Jeremy actually thought it was a good thing.
If Damon hadn’t been this sick before then maybe this meant that things
were going to go downhill from here. That thought made Jeremy’s stomach
upset.
 
“Get some sleep, Damon. I’ll be right here.”
 
*****
 
A week passed and Damon, though he was no longer sick, was left very weak.
Jeremy had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t like where
this could be leading.
 
“I want to stay with him.” Jeremy was in the kitchen talking to
Elena, Jenna, and Stefan.
 
“Are you talking about dropping out of school?” Jenna asked.
 
“Yes.”
 
“Jer, I don’t think Damon would want that.” Elena looked
just as surprised as Jenna did.
 
“I’ll take summer classes to make everything up.” Jeremy
realized what he had said. He groaned and sat down. He couldn’t do this.
 
“Jeremy, why don’t you let Jenna and me discuss this.”
 
“Fine, but if Damon is okay with it can I at least move in here?”
 
“Yeah. That should be fine. Right, Jenna?”
 
“Yeah, sure. That’s fine.”
 
Jeremy nodded and went back upstairs to Damon. Damon was propped up in bed and
reading. He put down his book and smiled when Jeremy walked in.
“Haven’t you gotten sick of me yet?”
 
“Sick of you? Impossible.” He joined Damon on the bed, relaxing
in his arms.
 
“Talking about me again down there?”
 
“Me, actually.”
 
“What about you?”
 
Jeremy pulled out of Damon’s arms and straddled him so that he could
face him. “It’s just… I want to be here all of the time
and I can’t really do that if I’m in school.”
 
“Don’t be stupid, Jeremy. You can’t just drop school
because you what? want to make sure you’re around when I die?”
 
“Don’t be so crude and don’t be an ass.” Jeremy got
off of Damon’s lap and off of the bed.
 
“Jeremy, wait. Come back here.” Damon got off the bed and started
towards him.
 
“Damon, what are you doing? You shouldn’t be out of bed.”
 
“Sorry, kid, but you tell me you wanna quit school and then walk away
from me, then you leave me no choice but to come after you.”
 
Jeremy put an arm around Damon and led him back to the bed. “Fine,
I’ll stay. But you have to be nice.”
 
Damon pouted at him.
 
“Pouting will get you nowhere.”
 
“Sure it will,” murmured Damon, leaning in to kiss Jeremy. Jeremy
let him for a bit but then he pulled away because they needed to talk.
“Damon, we need to talk about this.”
 
“There’s nothing to talk about. You want to drop out of school
while you wait around for me to die, and I’m not having any of
it.”
 
Jeremy shook his head. “Damon, I want to drop school because I want to
spend every second I possibly can with you. I want to live here too. I just
want to be around you all of the time.”
 
Whatever Damon may have said was interrupted by a knock on the door. Damon
called out for them to come in. It was Elena and Jenna, and Jeremy was sure
that the two of them had made a decision about whether or not Jeremy would be
staying in school or not.
 
“So you guys have decided then.”
 
Jenna nodded. “Have you talked to Damon though? Does he want
this?”
 
Jeremy didn’t know what to say. Damon didn’t want him around all
of the time. He didn’t want to screw up Jeremy’s life just like
he hadn’t wanted to screw up Stefan’s life and had made Stefan
not take a semester or two off of school for him.
 
“You know what? I’m dying. That means I have the right to be a
little selfish, right? If Jeremy wants to stay here with me then I want him to
stay.”
 
“Wait, Damon, we don’t even know if Jenna is okay with me
dropping.” Jeremy saw the way Damon’s smile vanished, could see
how disappointed Damon really was if Jeremy wasn’t going to get to stay
home with him.
 
“No, it’s okay. I shouldn’t, but I’m going to let
you stay home with him.”
 
Jeremy barely had time to process what Jenna had said when Damon flung himself
on top of Jeremy, leaving kisses all over his face. Jeremy laughed and he could
hear Jenna and Elena laughing too, and then the closing of the bedroom door,
indicating that they were now alone.
 
Damon nuzzled at his neck. “I don’t deserve you.”
 
“Does it matter? You have me and I’m not going anywhere.”
 
Damon pulled away from his neck to look down at Jeremy. “I definitely
don’t deserve you.”
 
Jeremy just smiled and held onto Damon as tightly as he could.
 
*****
 
The next few weeks went by in what became a routine. On Damon’s good
days he would wake Jeremy with searing kisses and roaming hands, having already
taken his pill and ready for action. On Damon’s bad days he would barely
move from the bed. Jeremy would spend most of these days reading to Damon, and
afterwards Damon liked discussing the books with Jeremy. Jeremy was pretty sure
he was learning more here with Damon than he would in any English class, and he
was pretty sure that was Damon’s intention.
 
They spent as much time touching as they could. Damon would relax against
Jeremy as Jeremy read to him, and on days that Damon was feeling well they
would take short walks holding hands, and lay in bed entwined together. They
never parted unless they had to.
 
It was beautiful and it was perfect and Jeremy stupidly wished that it would
last forever.
 
*****
 
It was late April and despite the fact that Damon no longer had good days, he
had insisted on coming out to the woods for a picnic with Jeremy. They
hadn’t eaten yet. After their walk, Damon had laid down and was taking a
little catnap. Jeremy didn’t mind. He had brought a book with him so he
settled down right along Damon’s side and read.
 
Jeremy was glad they hadn’t brought anything with them that could go bad
because it was a few hours before Damon finally stirred. “Hey there
sleepy head,” Jeremy couldn’t help tease. Damon smiled at him but
cuffed the back of his head.
 
He let Damon take his time waking up and sitting up before he grabbed the
picnic basket and started taking out their food.
 
“Is there anything in your backpack that we need?”
 
Damon shook his head. He had carried a backpack with him but refused to tell
Jeremy what was inside and told Jeremy he had better not peek. Wanting to let
Damon surprise him with whatever it was, he hadn’t looked, but that
didn’t mean he couldn’t try and weasel the information out of
Damon.
 
They ate in silence, just enjoying the company of each other and enjoying the
beautiful weather they were having, though Damon still had to wear a jacket
because he was always cold now.
 
Damon only managed a bite of his cold soup before he gave up. Jeremy
didn’t comment or try and push him to eat more. Damon eating anything at
all was a small victory.
 
After Damon pushed his soup away, he curled up against Jeremy and Jeremy put
his arm around Damon, eating with just one hand so he could hold Damon. He
hoped Damon would be able to stay awake for a while longer so they could enjoy
this time together.
 
“Are you done eating yet?”
 
Jeremy huffed out a laugh. “Why? Do we have somewhere to be?”
 
Damon nuzzled his neck. “It has to do with the backpack.”
 
Jeremy took one more bite of his sandwich before putting it away. His stomach
could wait. Whatever Damon wanted from him was way more important. Damon pulled
away from him and sat there silently. Jeremy waited it out. Damon would talk
when he was ready.
 
“I’ve left everything to Stefan and I don’t really see any
point in changing that. He knows you’re welcome to anything that you
want. He won’t fight you for any of it. He’s grateful for you,
you know.”
 
“I know,” Jeremy replied on a shaky breath. He had definitely not
been expecting this conversation and he would much rather not have this
conversation. He knew Damon was going to die, but that didn’t mean he
had to think about it. He wanted to go on pretending that Damon was just sick
and that everything was all right.
 
Jeremy watched as Damon slid a ring off of his finger, and was too shocked to
do anything when Damon slid that ring onto one of Jeremy’s own fingers.
Jeremy was very familiar with this ring. It was a family heirloom. Jeremy
hadn’t thought much about it, but he had assumed that it would just go
to Stefan along with everything else.
 
Jeremy looked up and straight into those blue eyes, wet with unshed tears, but
bright and hopeful.
 
“I brought my pills with me. Please tell me we can use one.”
 
Jeremy leaned into give Damon a kiss. “Are you sure?” Since Damon
hadn’t been having any good days lately they hadn’t been having
sex anywhere near as often, and when they did Jeremy usually rode Damon, or if
Damon was feeling well enough, they would lay on their sides with
Jeremy’s back to Damon.
 
“I want you inside of me.”
 
Jeremy’s breath caught. That was something they hadn’t done yet.
He nodded and Damon pulled out his pills and took one. Then he pulled out the
rest of what was in his backpack, which included lube and a blanket they could
cover themselves with so Damon wouldn’t freeze.
 
Damon looked so happy and so eager and the truth hit Jeremy like a bulldozer.
He knew that this was going to be the last time they were going to have sex,
and even though it wasn’t about the sex for Jeremy and he would be
perfectly happy without it, this was a big deal.
 
Jeremy’s breath hitched and Damon looked up from what he was doing.
“It’s okay you know. You can let it out.”
 
Jeremy shook his head. Damon sighed and put down the blanket, scooting closer
to Jeremy and wrapping his arms around him. He stroked Jeremy’s back and
squeezed as tight as he could. Jeremy gave in and cried, clutching Damon like
that alone would keep Damon with him.
 
He was barely aware of Damon kissing his cheek and murmuring in his ear. He
cried and cried until he felt raw and more exposed than he ever had before, but
it didn’t matter. He turned his face so that his lips met Damon’s
and kissed him roughly, despite the tears that were still running down his
face.
 
Gently he lowered Damon to the blanket, pausing only to find the lube and the
extra blanket that Damon had brought with him. He pulled the extra blanket over
them and went back to kissing Damon with a hunger he hadn’t even been
aware of.
 
They made quick work of their clothes, but Jeremy took everything else as
slowly as he could. If this was going to be the last time, then he wanted to
make sure he explored every inch of Damon, igniting every nerve ending in his
body.
 
Jeremy wasn’t sure how long he kept the two of them on edge, but it was
a sweet relief when he finally pushed himself into Damon’s waiting body.
His thrusts were lazy and gentle, as were their kisses. Jeremy didn’t
want this to end and honestly wasn’t surprised when more tears started
flowing. He pulled back from Damon just enough to look him in the eye and found
that Damon was in the same predicament as him.
 
They smiled at each other and resumed their kissing, tears mingling together.
They came together and the tears flowed more freely. He buried his face in
Damon’s neck, careful to keep most of his weight off of Damon’s
frail body. Damon wound his arms around Jeremy and pressed his own tear stained
face to Jeremy’s cheek.
 
They cried quietly together. That had been the most tender experience in
Jeremy’s life, and he would cherish this picnic, this memory as the most
bittersweet memory he had with Damon. He would smile when he thought of it, no
matter how sad it made him feel.
 
This was precious. This was sacred. This was the best ending that Jeremy could
have hoped for.
***** Chapter 4 *****
The sun was streaming through the windows of Damon’s bedroom. It looked
like it was going to be a beautiful day. Maybe Damon would be having one of his
good days and they could spend some time outdoors.
 
Jeremy rolled onto his side and kissed Damon’s cheek. It was cold.
Instead of panicking he felt strangely calm. He lifted himself up on an elbow
so he could look at Damon. Damon looked peaceful. Jeremy placed a hand on
Damon’s chest and wasn’t comforted by the steady beat of a heart.
 
Tears started rolling down Jeremy’s face. He felt Damon’s neck
for his pulse point and got nothing. Damon had died in his sleep. Jeremy was
glad for that.
 
The tears came faster now and Jeremy could no longer keep them quiet. He kissed
Damon one last time before somebody came and found them, drawn to
Damon’s room by his, what could only now be described as, sobbing. He
whispered to Damon through the tears, telling him that he loved him.
 
He wrapped his arm around Damon and buried his face in Damon’s neck, as
if Damon were still alive. He couldn’t stop the crying, even if he
wanted to. He felt someone trying to pry him away from Damon, but he
wasn’t ready to go. He held on tight until his hands were finally pried
away and he was pulled off the bed.
 
He let Stefan lead him away and down the stairs. Stefan left him in
Damon’s favorite chair in the library. He could hear Stefan on the phone
with his sister.
 
Jeremy curled himself up into as small of a ball as possible. He shut out the
world around him, retreating to his own mind and the memories of him and Damon.
That was all he had of Damon now, and he would cherish them forever.
 
*****
 
It felt like a bit of a cliché, really. It was dark out and raining. The
storm was almost here. The perfect day for a funeral.
 
It felt cheap though, like this was out of a movie instead of real life. It was
real though. They were here to bury Damon.
 
The past few days had gone so quickly. Everything was a blur. Arrangements had
been made ahead of time since they had known this would be coming, so the plans
went off smoothly and quickly.
 
Jeremy was standing in the front with Stefan, Elena, Jenna, and Alaric. Elena
and Jenna were already crying. Jeremy was struggling to hold his tears back.
Damon wouldn’t want Jeremy to cry over him, though Damon had known that
it would be impossible for him not to.
 
Jeremy had thought about speaking during the service, but had decided against
it in the end. What could you say about someone’s life that would matter
to anyone else? Damon had been special to Jeremy, but Damon meant something
different to Jeremy than he would for others, and Jeremy wanted to keep that to
himself. It was all he had left of Damon. Well that and Damon’s ring. He
hadn’t taken it off since Damon had placed it on his finger.
 
The ceremony had ended and Jeremy still hadn’t cried. He was just kind
of staring at the coffin in a daze. Everyone was getting up to leave but Jeremy
stayed where he was.
 
“Jeremy? Come on, it’s time to go.” Elena put her hand in
his and tried to urge him to move.
 
“I’d like to stay here for a while.”
 
“Jer, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
 
“Elena, I need to stay here. Please.”
 
Elena sighed and nodded, and then she left along with Jenna and Alaric. Stefan
stayed behind with Jeremy. “Damon wanted me to give you this when this
was finished.” Stefan pulled an envelope out of his jacket and handed it
to Jeremy. Jeremy just nodded and then Stefan took off after the others.
 
Once they were gone, Jeremy moved up to the hole in the ground to look at the
coffin one last time. He whispered a goodbye and then found a tree nearest to
the burial site. He sat down and leaned against it and watched as the diggers
filled in the hole. He stayed until the hole was filled and then pulled out the
letter from Damon that Stefan had given him.
 
Jeremy-
A letter from beyond is cheesy, I know, but there is something that I never
told you but that I wanted you to know. You saved me. And I don’t mean
how wonderful my life has been since August. That first day you came to find me
out in the woods because I hadn’t gone to school- that was the day I was
planning on killing myself. I don’t believe in God or fate but I
can’t help feeling that it was more than a coincidence that brought you
to the woods that day. Your persistent need to be around me, despite me warning
against it, actually saved my life. I know I still tried to push you away from
me even after that, but we both know that would have never worked. You gave me
my life back, and now I need you to have yours. Live your life for me, Jeremy.
Love always,
Damon
 
Jeremy folded up the letter, tears finally streaming down his face. The rain
was starting to fall harder now. Jeremy got up and walked away from
Damon’s gravesite. He would be back, no doubt, and not because he
thought Damon would be watching over him. He wouldn’t let it take over
his life though. He would live it, just like Damon wanted him to.
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