Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/1278586. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/ Non-Con, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Teen_Wolf_(TV) Relationship: Derek_Hale/Stiles_Stilinski, Isaac_Lahey/Scott_McCall, Vernon_Boyd/Erica Reyes, One_sided_Derek_Hale/Peter_Hale Character: Derek_Hale, Stiles_Stilinski, Isaac_Lahey, Scott_McCall_(Teen_Wolf), Jackson_Whittemore, Erica_Reyes, Vernon_Boyd, Peter_Hale, Lydia_Martin, Danny_Mahealani, Ethan_(Teen_Wolf), Aiden_(Teen_Wolf), Greenberg_(Teen Wolf) Additional Tags: Alternate_Universe_-_Criminals, Alternative_Universe_-_FBI, bad!Stiles, Bad!Pack, Stalking, Drug_Use, non_graphic_underage, Attempted_Rape/Non- Con, Emotional_Manipulation, Suicide_Attempt, talk_of_past_prostitution, Emotional/Psychological_Abuse, Hurt_Derek, Blackmail, Minor_Character Death, OOC_pack, Panic_Attacks, AU_-_mobster_family, darker_story, Homophobia, Attempted_Incest, Character_could_be_seen_as_having_Stockholm Syndrome, Motives_of_characters_could_be_open_to_interpretation Series: Part 1 of Heaven_and_Hell Stats: Published: 2014-03-07 Completed: 2014-03-15 Chapters: 12/12 Words: 22525 ****** Salvation ****** by sasha_bo Summary “Gentlemen, I will make this brief. Last night a body was discovered outside the Full Moon club. The body was that of Peter Hale.” Derek could feel the eyes of his co-workers drilling into the back of his head. He wasn’t surprised but if they were looking for a reaction he sure as fuck wasn’t going to give them one. Notes Man this timeline between graduation and employment is making me well creative. Ok, just a wee note about this story. It sort of reverts back to the tone that my earlier stories had so if you are looking for fluff - this isn't for you. I wrote Stiles and the pack quite OOC - think more nogitsune Stiles then human Stiles. I have tried to leave the story open ended about whether the reader thinks Stiles feelings are genuine or if he has alternative motives but whatever you think, the methods he uses are not ok IRL and have been labeled as emotionally abusive for a reason. The tags WILL be updated because i have probably forgotten half of what is actually included in the story so keep an eye out if you think the story may contain triggers for you. Stiles and the pack are NOT nice people in this fic, if you don't like it, don't read it. Really, read the tags and the relationships and you may be able to pick out what tag is applicable to which pairing ***** Chapter 1 ***** Derek sighed to himself as he ogled out the bus window and took in the dark, drab atmosphere of the Chicago Skyline. It was another dreary day – stony and grey just like yesterday, and the day before that…and the day before that. His co-workers often mocked him for taking the bus when he could quite comfortably afford a car but he found there was something to be had by using public transport. To him it was the equivalent of people watching inside the warm interior of a local coffee shop. He liked to travel through the same streets day in and day out – witnessing the changes through seasons, through development. He has literally seen kids grow up in front of his eyes as he travelled passed them every morning – carefree kids enjoying their childhood, a one which was so much different to his own. Finally reaching his stop, Derek heaved himself off the bus and made his way into the building which he seemed to spend nearly every waking hour. From the outside the building looked just like one of the many which littered the downtown area of Chicago – tall, grey with no distinguishing features. Once inside and through the lobby to the coded elevator – that was when the character of the building and its contents came to life. One glance would tell an individual that this was no ordinary elevator. Its high-tech gadgets and lack of floor buttons would boggle the mind of a patron whom had accidently stumbled into the stainless-steel box. Derek knew better. He had been in and out this box for nearly every day for the past five years. Don’t get him wrong – He enjoyed his job. Well he did. It just seemed to be that he had hit a brick wall. Who would have thought that being part of one of the FBI subdivisions would be boring? Well here was Derek Hale, defying beliefs for 30 years. He had worked hard to get to where he was. He had to. Getting to this point in his career was a task for anybody – least of all anyone with the last name ‘Hale’. Derek liked to think he had proved himself to be a good, decent guy. The comments he received from some of his more….uncouth work-mates made it seem as he was no better than those they arrested and investigated on a daily basis. Those same workmates who had also been summoned to the same early morning meeting as him. Derek didn’t even acknowledge them as he walked in; there was no point. There was no love loss between them or him. Jackson in particular is somebody whom he would love to slap with a brick in his hand. However if Jackson was one thing – it was a cry baby. He had been one in high school apparently and was still one to this day. To make himself feel better he picked on minor idiosyncrasies which he had deemed to be beneath him. Unfortunately for him, Derek never rose to his torments which just drove the man-child to do it more. Currently he was complaining to his group of lackeys about the inconvenience of this meeting and how it was eating into his very important investigation. Derek snorted – Jackson’s very important investigation was a robbery from a doughnut shop. Derek had seen him personally sample the merchandise least it contain traces of drugs. In reality the man was just a pig. Funny enough, Jackson shut up as the chief walked into the room. He was an older man – one which would have cut a striking figure in his youth. He had rounded out during since his field retirement a few years back, but the man was the one to believe in Derek and gave him a chance when nobody else would. They were close so Derek knew that the look on the man’s face meant shit had hit the fan. “Gentlemen, I will make this brief. Last night a body was discovered outside the Full Moon club. The body was that of Peter Hale.” Derek could feel the eyes of his co-workers drilling into the back of his head. He wasn’t surprised but if they were looking for a reaction he sure as fuck wasn’t going to give them one. “Our agent Isaac Lahey was investigating the Hale pack and their activities but the man was reported missing two days ago. We have no evidence as of yet that the pack are involved but we are certainly   not ruling it out. Before he disappeared he had managed to gather intel on the pack and was involved in some undercover work so we have gathered an idea of what may have happened.” The chief clicked on a laptop and brought up a mug-shot of a face Derek had not seen in fifteen years. Peter Hale. “Gentlemen this was Peter Hale. He has been in charge of the Hale pack of 10 years after the death of the other members of the pack. After the fire it seemed to be that he targeted and recruited youths around the California state. These youths are still within the pack to this day.” He clicked until another picture came up. This one was of a younger man, dark messy hair, and brown doe eyes. He would have looked innocent until you saw the smirk on his face. “This man is known as Stiles Stilinski. From the Intel Isaac gathered before his disappearance, Stiles is the mastermind behind the Hale pack as it is. It is no coincidence between the developing of the packs activities and the introduction of this man. From his school records he has an IQ of 140. That with his diagnosed ADHD and knowledge of the law and police systems from his father makes him very dangerous. He is particularly skilled in logistics and strategy. Isaac assessed that while Peter was the face of the new and improved Hale pack, Mr Stilinski is the creative genius. He was Peter’s number 2 so if anybody had the balls to remove Hale it was him.” Next slide: Male, dark slicked back hair, dark brown eyes, uneven jawline. “Scott McCall: Seemed to have risen through the ranks along with Stilinski. Not as smart but the boy is loyal and in this climate loyalty is worth its weight in gold. Seems to be Stilinski’s major accomplice in life. Again if Stilinski was the one to decide to remove Peter, Scott would have more than likely helped him. Leading up to his disappearance, Isaac seemed to have caught the attention of McCall. We had many conversations about this. Presents were left, Lahey often saw McCall outside his apartment and on his way home. By all accounts, McCall seemed to become…..enamoured or infatuated with Lahey. The intensity of his affections resulted with the death of Mr Lahey’s father. Father and Son were not on good terms so we thought it was done out of some sort of…loyalty? No; retribution for Isaac. As it stands, due to these developments there will be no undercover work in relation to this gang. We don’t know if these developments will result in anything so for now it is just intel and research. I want to know everything that you can get from the safety of your desk. Under no circumstances are any of you to come into contact with them.” New slide: Female, Red hair, pouty lips – apparently hot as fuck according to Jackson. “Lydia Martin. What Stiles doesn’t know, she does. Graduated from Harvard in Chemistry then disappeared but seems to still be practicing under the pack. Her concoctions are what we think is what is used for the trafficking business. Get people addicted and the only way to get their fix is by delivery through the underground system they have set up. The mainstream drugs are too accessible. These drugs ensure that the ones they traffic will remain loyal to them.” Next slide: Male, Dark hair, dark eyes, seems to be of a Hawaiian descent. “Danny Mahealani: The techie. Was arrested at the age of 13 for hacking and seems to have gathered talent for it the older he grew. Rumour has it he has been behind some of the major scams in Chicago in the past 6 years. If he wasn’t in the pack, we would be recruiting him for us, that’s how good he is.” Next slide: Male twins, dark blonde, tight muscles. “Aiden and Ethan – last names are unknown to us. These are the muscle of the pack. They do the heavy lifting in lieu of the other pack members. They have caused major damage to other gangs during fights so it would be advised to avoid physical contact as much as possible. If the pack are reorganising, we want to bring them down now before they get everything set up” The chief shut the laptop down and turned to face the room. “We are all pitching in for this case but the main agents are Hale, Boyd and Reyes. You do what they ask and answer to them.” As expected, the room erupted. Jackson seemed to deem himself as class representative and stood to face the chief, pointing to Derek. “Him?! You trust HIM?! He is probably helping them!! Old family loyalty, probably just waiting for the chance to get back in with them!” The chief leveled him with a look. “Derek has proved himself to handle high risk cases. I am putting the best onto this and he is one of the best. But I will take note of your objections Mr Whittemore and your perceived disappointment of my decisions.” Jackson quietly sank back into his chair, shame burning his face. Not many survived questioning the chief. The older man rose and swiftly left the room – leaving the rest in stilted silence. ***** Chapter 2 ***** Derek thought he was a very astute person, but even somebody that was blind could figure out in less than five minutes that there was something going on with Erica and Boyd. They had decided to commandeer one of the group rooms to work out an action plan on how to gather information. Derek had gathered that Erica was as subtle as a slap in the balls when she opened up her questioning with “so….you’re a Hale?” Derek didn’t really want to discuss it. He never really did but knew he would have to be honest with his new partners. If there was one thing that was important in this job, it was trust and honesty.“Yep. Born and raised in crime.” Boyd raised a brow“What happened then? You aren’t working with them anymore right?” Derek scoffed. “I haven’t talked to my family in 15 years. I couldn’t….I didn’t want to be part of their lifestyle. I saw a lot of things and eventually I knew I had to get out so I ran away. My parents sent people after me but I always managed to give them the slip. Eventually I was told that I had been disowned and to never show my face again. I worked to put myself through college after I got my GED. Didn’t find out about the fire till after 2 years and this is the first I heard about Peter. As I said, I have nothing to do with them.” Derek picked at the paper of his cup of coffee. He couldn’t recall how many times he had reeled off this story, more so when he decided to join the force. He was judged throughout his life for his last name even though it had apparently been made clear by all that he was no longer considered a part of it. His sisters, Laura and Cora had both survived the fire and had tried to ruin his chances of gaining entry to the FBI with a backstage smear campaign. The only reason it stopped was because, even though they had survived the fire, they didn’t survive Peter. Erica broke him from his melancholy.“Do you mind me asking how you managed to get through college? Hey, no judgement here, it’s a brave thing you did” Erica held her hands up as if to protest her innocence. “Yeah….people will pay a lot for jailbait. Not the most ethical but it’s all I had. I saw what my family did, after that selling my body for my own benefit didn’t seem like such a big deal.” Silence filled the room until Boyd directed the topic from Derek’s personal skills to the investigation. “Ok, since we can’t go undercover or anything we are limited to what he can and can’t do. One thing I think would help would be to go and see Lahey’s apartment. Chief said McCall was sending him gifts so...I don’t know; maybe there could be something. Personal credit cards, statements anything which we can initially trace for any of the gang. If we can get a general picture of each member then maybe we can build on something.” Derek and Erica nodded their heads. “You two boys head to Lahey’s then. I’m quite nifty with computers and records so I can give it a look and see what I can find while you’re gone. If I get bored I will just find your facebook account Hale, We are a team now and everybody knows the best teams are the ones which are FB friends!”   +++   Derek didn’t really know what to expect when he entered Isaac Lahey’s home. The outside of the large apartment block was fairly run down, the area itself wasn’t what would be considered posh, or well off, or safe. The inside of the apartment was very basic and minimalist, clean as well. Well, Derek assumed, if he had walked in and found the decapitated body of his father on his living room floor he also would have gone on a fucking epic spring clean. Boyd was reeling off the profile they had of Isaac as they walked around the spruce apartment.“Isaac Lahey, 26 years old, Caucasian male. Mother, Father and Brother all deceased. Mother during childbirth, Brother 20 years after and Father 5 months ago. Police report here says Isaac was removed from his father’s care after accusations of neglect; teachers noticed bruises on the boy and filed a complaint. Aurgh, says here Lahey senior locked his son in a freezer regularly when he was younger, fingernail scratches were evident all on the inside of the box.” Derek processed the information as he continued his search around the apartment, making his way to the bedroom.“Yeah if I were psychotic and found out my obsession was abused as a child I too would probably kill the man responsible. Never thought I would say it but maybe McCall didn’t do such a bad thing.” Derek didn’t like abusers. Never had and never will. His workmates knew better then to look to him for leniency against one. He had seen too much on the streets to ever forget what the consequences could be if you came from a broken or abusive home. Taking in the bedroom, it was surprising to see how chaotic this room was in comparison to the rest. Clothes and belongings were strewn everywhere. Looking in the draws and cupboard, not a single item remained in either compartment. Boyd was rummaging through the belongings, chuffing when he came up with a large, light blue box. Placing it on the bed, Boyd removed the lid and the two examined its contents. There was a pile of letters, hand written and tied together with another blue ribbon. A teddy bear was placed next to the letters; one of the mass produced ones with a heart that were particularly popular near to Valentine’s Day. Under the bear was a stack of photographs, all of Isaac. It was easy to tell they were taken without Isaacs’s knowledge. They pictured the man doing everyday things – shopping, eating with friends, there was even one which was taken while the man was sleeping in front of his TV. Derek looked out the window to the opposite building. Said building looked abandoned so Derek surmised it would have been easy for somebody to take Lahey’s picture from it and remain undetected. There were other things in the box – clothes, aftershave, presents you would give to a loved one. However folded in the corner was a sheet of paper. Carefully extracting it and laying it out flat, Derek analysed it. The crisp, white paper had been turned pale red with larger splotches of darker red covering it. Blood. The message was simple. He won’t ever hurt you again Derek stood aside to let Boyd take a look. Derek would bet his house that the blood was a match to Isaacs’s father. Gathering the evidence, the two men made their way out of the building and into the car. Derek could have sworn he saw a flash of red turn the corner as soon as they drove away and back to headquarters. ***** Chapter 3 ***** Derek thought about everything on the ride home. He left before everyone else to catch the bus before the other commuters left work. As it was the bus was still packed. Erica hadn’t so much drawn a blank, but rather found information which hadn’t been relevant to the investigation. She has credit records for each member but all they could tell was that Lydia liked to buy expensive clothes and Stiles liked to buy subscriptions to gay porn. The only link they had was that Scott’s records matched up with the items found in Isaacs’s box of tacky love. All three knew they were using fake accounts for their major business deals but so far had no way to trace them. Erica had tried accounts for any previous Hale member – even Derek – but drew a blank. Derek knew they were missing something but couldn’t figure out what. He was so deep in thought he had almost missed his stop. Quickly pulling himself together, he got off and power walked to his house. It was a modest two bedroom, two story house. It was nothing big or ostentatious, but rather nice and quaint. After living his life in the Hale mansion then on the streets until he could afford somewhere to live he was happy with his lot in life. Unlike Isaac, Derek hadn’t gone for the minimalistic layout but rather a more…homely vibe. Walking into the house, he was met by his Alsatian Ochra. Derek had bought her when he had first rented the house, his heartstrings pulling at the little black pup in the cardboard box. The rest of her litter had been sold and Derek likes to think it was love at first sight. Also it was added protection. Derek had had his fair share of instances of violence: first when he had run away and his family had sent people to beat obedience into him and try to return him home, or when he was on the streets from other homeless people or irate johns. It took him a while to feel safe in his own home and Ochra was the main reason for this development. She was soft with Derek but protective over her territory. She was exactly the safety blanket he needed. He knelt on the floor to greet her and noticed a large brown envelope propped up on his side table with a hand written ‘Derek Hale’ in large lettering on the front. He racked his brain, trying to remember when he had put it on the table but drew a blank. Standing and scratching Ochra’s head, he picked up the envelope and made his way to the kitchen, opening the back door to let the large dog out. It was times like this where he was thankful the dog was black – his work slacks were covered in hair. Setting the envelope down, Derek worked to remove the hair and make himself a cup of coffee. He was just like any other working American – he needed an alarming amount of coffee to function. After he made his afternoon fix, he sat and contemplated the package. At work Derek was meticulous in regards to his attention to detail; at home this qwerk seemed to disappear. Even then though, he still couldn’t remember placing the envelope on the table. Opening it up, Derek emptied the contents on the table and began to look through. There were three multi-page documents which had been stapled together, flicking through Derek realised with shock they were documents of him, Erica and Boyd. Rather they were the FBI employee files of each of them. Derek didn’t know what he was most concerned with: that somebody had been able to access strictly guarded files (not even the Chief could easily gain access to these files) or that the sender was able to read his whole life history: From his childhood to leaving home to his time on the streets and descriptions of Johns he had met and served. Everything had to be disclosed and everything was on these documents. He briefly hoped that it was somebody in the department who had decided to be a prick but the photographs which accompanied the files made him think otherwise. The first was a picture of Isaac’s apartment building, the next of him and Boyd outside the same building. Fuck all the photos were from earlier today. Every single one: them in the living room, them in the bedroom…all were taken today. The largest photograph was of Derek looking directly into the camera – when he was assessing the opposite building. Derek wanted to royally kick himself – how the hell did he miss it?! Derek looked at the collection in front of him, dread starting to build in his chest. He knew deep down that this was a delivery from the pack. It had to be. They knew exactly who the agents were that had taken over their case and even worse – they knew exactly where Derek lived even with the documents not containing current living addresses. Derek isn’t ashamed to say that Ochra slept in the bed with him that night.     ***** Chapter 4 ***** Making his way into work, Derek couldn’t help but feel like he was being watched. He wasn’t sure if it was because he actually was or if his mind was playing tricks on him. He tried to not make it obvious that he was scoping out his fellow journey-men but the feeling never left. It didn’t until he was firmly enclosed in the metallic lift and was on his way up to his work place. He had brought the package to work with him; now was not the time to keep secrets or hold anything back. If Erica and Boyd were walking into the gates of hell with him they at least deserved to know what they may be in store for. He ignored the jeers and comments from the other agents (it happened every day, it used to upset him but now it was like water off a ducks back) and headed towards his partners desks and placed the envelope down in front of them. “Please, please tell me you two also came home to something like this?” The blank look on their faces made his heart sink further. Erica rifled through the documents while Boyd fixed him with a steady glare. “You think they are targeting you?” “What makes you think it’s not somebody from here?” Erica shook her head. “The same reason why you don’t think that either. Derek this is serious, they know who you are, where you live and your past with the old-school pack. They could be trying to send a statement..” “Or declare intent.” finished Boyd. Derek gave a sigh, impressed by the fact that he had only been on the case for 24 hours and had already fucked up. “Ok do we have anything else?” He swiftly moved the topic along, not keen on discussing his vulnerability to the gang. Erica and Boyd rifled through their own collection of paperwork, stern looks still drawn across their faces. “Not really. Peter’s autopsy came back – coroner ruled his death as homicide but strange thing is that he seemed to have died from a variety of methods. He was strangled, throat slashed and a large impact to the skull. She said either one could have killed him.” Derek’s breath hitched in his throat as he took a seat at his own desk. “It’s called the three-fold death. As a basis in Irish folklore but it’s the signature of the Hale pack.” “You sure?” Derek chuckled “Yeah, seen it happen often enough. If Peter died the three-fold death it was his own pack that did it.” He couldn’t help but feel relieved that he had confirmation Peter was dead. His whole family was bad, Peter was pure evil. He was deep in his thoughts when a package was placed on his desk. He looked up at the mail room boy in surprise only to realise the boy had left to deliver the rest of his packages. Derek thought nothing off it when he moved to open the box – only Erica calling his name stopped him from continuing. His hand hovered over the box, brow raised in questioning. Erica and Boyd walked slowly towards him. “Derek, the writing on the top” Motherfuck it was the same print as was on the letter. Derek quickly dropped his hand and moved away from the package the handwritten ‘Agent Derek Hale’ seemed to be taunting him. Grabbing a pair of scissors, he ripped the top of the box off the package. No point in prolonging the inevitable. “Hale! It could have been a bomb you stupid fuck!” Derek knew fine well all packages were examined for suspicious contents. Obviously as the package had passed the check – it wasn’t anything that could explode. Removing the top, he peered into the box, eyes instantly drawn to the pile of photographs at the top. Another, smaller box was slotted inside the larger one – Erica and Boyd taking it while Derek was preoccupied with the other contents. Like the previous lot, these had also been taken the day before. 10 of them were of Derek on his way home on the bus, the other 15 were of him at home. Most disturbingly, a lot of them were of when he was sleeping in his bed, Ochra curled into his side. They had obviously been taken from his bedroom window; luckily for him the latch had broken so it couldn’t be opened any wider than before. It was an old house, things broke. That reminded him to look into fixing his shower while he purchased heavy duty curtains. Erica took the photographs from him and traded him for the box. He was stunned to find it contained a collar. The leather was pure midnight black, with a small, understated diamanté trim around it. Derek unfolded the piece of paper which sat inside the collar. A pretty dog like Ochra deserves a pretty collar. A pretty owner deserves more. Derek shuddered as he replaced the gift back into the box and sat down. Boyd took a deep breath before stating he was off the get the Chief. Erica sat beside Derek and gently patted his knee. “On the bright side, you could flog the collar and make yourself a tidy profit.”   +++   To say the Chief was not amused would be an understatement. His first reaction was to remove Derek from the case but – as Erica pointed out – that may not stop him from being in the packs line of fire. The team was right to be concerned however; it turned out that his was how things had started with Lahey. Seems that Derek had picked himself an admirer. He didn’t appreciate Erica’s statement that it was one of the meat-head twins. He appreciated even less Boyd’s suggestion that McCall had gotten bored. Once the children had calmed themselves down about the fact that he could only attract sociopaths they settled down to discuss developments in the case. Derek was re-going over his notes about Lahey’s apartment. Something was still niggling his brain, he was missing something. Closing his eyes, he sat back in this chair and retraced his steps though the apartment. Apartment. Clean. Minimal. Bedroom. Mess. Closet. Draws. Empty. Closet and draws empty. Derek’s eyes snapped open in realisation. “Boyd, what did you notice about Lahey’s place?” “The man had schizophrenia in regards to his rooms?” “Every item of clothing was removed from its place. A man like Lahey isn’t that minimalistic with his living place but not in his bedroom. That and the box of gifts. It was like….like what you would do with presents you had from a lover.” Erica’s spoke up at the statement. “Yeah I have one just like it with gifts Boyd has given me” “Is anyone else thinking that Isaac wasn’t taken but he voluntary left? If somebody took him and there was a struggle – it wouldn’t result in the removal of his clothes from the draws. Same if somebody was in looking for something – they would have trashed everything, not just the bedroom. Seems to me like the boy removed all his clothes to just find the bare minimum to take with him. My guess would be to leave with McCall. Those gifts…he collected them because they meant something to him. He cared for McCall.” Erica muttered an expletive before shuffling though her paperwork. “So you think Lahey was with McCall from the start?” questioned Boyd. “No. The Chief said Lahey was concerned when he started to receive the gifts. Worried for his safety. I don’t think they were in it from the start but I suppose after time Lahey could have thawed over the tokens of affections. Let’s face it, the man never received love when he was younger so would it really be a surprise that he would fall hard for somebody who consistently expressed his affection for the man? Somebody who would literally kill for him to make him safe? Trust me, that’s enough to make most abused people abandon their life: the promise of love and safety.” Boyd regarded Derek with a critical eye. “Suppose you are right. Honestly I think you are, but now this is happening to you. Will you be the same? Don’t take offence man but the circumstances are different but essentially you and Isaac are similar. Affection starved and hurt by those who are meant to protect you.” Derek sighed, the man had a point. But Derek was different.“I went through hell to get away from that life style. I won’t go back for anyone. Or else what was the point of everything just to end up back in the same place. Isaac didn’t have that experience.” A loud cheer from Erica interrupted their conversation. “Just re-looked at McCall’s credit card records. His expenditure has increased since Lahey’s disappearance. Thinks like groceries and that, it’s like he is buying resources for two people. If you look through the past years on what he spent on basic necessities and compare it to now – he has to be buying for more than one.” “So that’s it then? Evidence points to them recruiting Lahey? If that’s the case, there is nothing we can do. The man voluntary left under his own steam.” Boyd sighed. Derek knew the feeling, the one where they had hit a brick wall. “It would seem that way but I think we should still investigate it. We could be wrong and last thing we want is to let this slip through our fingers because we were adamant we were right. Keep a trace on Lahey – he will turn up at some point. Possibly if we can get him alone we can work on him. Maybe talk to the Chief and see if we can get a raid on the full Moon? We may not be able to go undercover but we can get uniform to look around. Until then…well there isn’t much else we can do. Might as well leave this one for today and work on our other cases.” Derek desperately wanted to continue with the Hale pack but knew that, at this point, there wasn’t much else they could do. Going to the club themselves would just be plain stupid. He hoped that a standard drug raid would put enough pressure on the pack to the point they would make a mistake. Hope was all he had at that point.   +++   Derek had to admit, there were better things to come home to then a semi- flooded house and a soaking wet dog. It took him a few minutes of just…looking before he gathered that yes, he was standing in a puddle in his front door with water dripping down his face. Looking up, the ceiling looked like it may cave in – water leaking through upstairs. Ochra had taken to standing under the drip because she is a bit of an idiot. Trudging up the stairs, Derek couldn’t stop think how he really couldn’t give any flying fucks about this. Not today. It didn’t take a genius to figure out the source was the bathroom or that water was pissing out at an impressive rate. It was only after the main was switched off that Derek could assess the damage. His first guess was a burst pipe, really could only be the only source as everything was flooded. He didn’t even want to chance stepping into the room in case the floor gave way. The flood had extended out of the bathroom to the hall way and had just started to creep into the bedrooms. The floors and downstairs ceilings were saturated with water. Sighing at what was now becoming a clusterfuck of a day, Derek changed into a pair of old shorts and a t-shirt before he made his way down to the living room and phoning the landlord to explain the situation. Only to be swiftly told that at that time of night, the man couldn’t do anything. Even when Derek offered to call a plumber himself the man openly laughed in his face and wished him good luck at getting somebody at short notice. Five hours and ten phone calls later, Derek still couldn’t get somebody to look at his broken pipe. Apparently his wasn’t the only house to have burst pipes in this weather and the nearest time somebody could come was in three days’ time. Derek thinks he may have broken a vein in his forehead after yelling into the phone for the last two hours. Derek is adamant he did break a vein after yelling at his dial tone for half an hour after the last guy hung up. Trying to keep his temper under control, Derek resigned himself and dialled back one of the companies to book a slot for the repairs to happen. He couldn’t help but huff as he made his way to the nearest shop for bottled water. He couldn’t turn on the water until the pipe was fixed ergo no running water. No shower, no drinking water and no functioning toilet. The shower – yeah he could survive until work tomorrow, toilet – meah his garden is closed off and if Ochra could piss in a bush, so could he. Drinking water – yeah that would be an issue. A couple of large bottles of water would suffice until tomorrow. Re-entering his house and stepping over the towels he had lined up in the entrance way, Derek wondered what else could go wrong in life. Just the appropriate time for his phone to ring. “No Erica no. I don’t care. Whatever it is I. Do. Not. Care! Just….please god no!” There was silence on the other end for a few seconds. “…Bad day?” Derek didn’t know if he wanted to put her head or his head through a brick wall. “Look I wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t important. Derek we traced the buyer of the collar.” “That’s…..oh god it’s that Martin girl isn’t it? I have a feeling she won’t take ‘I’m gay’ as a proper answer.” “Derek it was Stilinski. He bought the dog collar and the hand writing we have on file matches the writing on the package and on the letter.” “….are you sure it isn’t Martin? I would gladly swim in the muff if that is the alternative.” ***** Chapter 5 ***** Derek had officially given up. Last night was a disaster in life and today was not shaping up to be any better. Seriously what else could go wrong?! His house was a mess and in severe danger of collapsing resulting in Derek bringing Ochra to work with him. Jackson caught him showering in the gym locker room and had mocked him incessantly about it and to top it off, the king of the psychopaths had apparently decided Derek was courting material. To top off what has proving to be the week from hell, the raid didn’t turn up much. Stilinski, Danny and the twins were all present during and still they had nothing. All was not lost, seems that the twins were not as savvy as the rest and had let slip the name ‘Kali’ in ear shot of one of the officers. So now the question was: Who was Kali? As it was, more agents were joining in with the investigation so Derek was stuck with a rookie called Greenburg as they drove around Chicago, scouting out notorious pack hand-outs. This would have been fine; Derek had no problem working with rookies. He did however have a problem working with rookies who had taken after Jackson: in both attitude and prejudice. Currently they were sat in a diner not far from the Full Moon club, tucking into lunch. Ochra had calmly placed herself underneath Derek’s feet – content for her master to hand feed her bits of his burger. So far Greenburg had mocked him for his family, his sexuality and was now being inventive and combining the two. “All I’m saying is that it’s probably best you left when you did. Monsters like your family would think nothing of killing a fag like you.” Derek wouldn’t give the man the satisfaction of having emotions. “Oh really? A fag like me? Still a fag that can knock you two ways to Friday so watch your mouth.” Derek continued to eat, foot rubbing Ochra’s side. Greenburg chortled to himself. “Sure you could. So tell me, why men? You like taking it or summit? Well you know what they say, gay comes from a fucked up childhood – so I read. Considering your past I’m not surprised you like bum fun. Just don’t hit on me man or I will knock you the fuck out. Jackson is right, one day somebody will wipe you out cos you’re not man enough for this job” “Trust me Greenburg, I could be blind and I still wouldn’t hit on you. You are far from my type so are you done or would you like to continue being a douche- bag?” Derek could see Greenburg gearing himself up for a fight, but a whisp of red hair breezing past their table deflated the situation. It wasn’t until she had left the diner that Derek realised that Lydia Martin had been in the room. Greenburg continued to smirk at Derek. “Worried about a little woman?” “No idiot, I’m worried for you. Get the fuck up and back in the car!”   +++   Greenburg was still mouthing off when they re-entered the building and made their way up to the office. Jackson was less then stealthy when he gave Greenburg the thumbs up. The chief, Boyd and Erica all raised their heads at the newcomers. “What you doing back? You’re meant to be on steak out for at least another few hours?” The retort of ‘Hale just can’t handle the pressure’ from Jackson was left ignored and unanswered from everyone bar Greenburg, who gave him a high five. “Yeah we were until somebody just had to run their mouth” Greenburg laughed at the accusation. “Dude. It’s nothing that hasn’t already been said and is common knowledge. Can’t handle the heat? Stay out of the kitchen pretty boy.” Derek just pointed in Greenburg’s direction while giving the chief an exasperated look. Erica sighed in exasperation. “Derek what happened?” “He mouthed off, called me a fag and said he was going to knock me out and that I would be killed because I’m not a man. The best part? Lydia Martin was in the room the entire time and left when things started to get heated.” The looks on three of the faces showed they understood the implication of what had happened. Greenburg and Jackson? Not so much. “So?” Erica looked like she wanted to slap the face off Greenburg. “A-are you a fucking idiot?! Have you forgotten who and what we are dealing with? What happened to Lahey’s father? You just publically insulted the man who Stiles ‘I’m-mentally-unstable’ Stilinski is having a love affair with in his own mind…in public…in front of one of his pack members…near his turf. Is it getting through your head now you utter moron?! Never mind the fact that, out of the six pack members we know of, five are gay.” Derek tried to not feel smug at how Greenburg’s face paled the more Erica spoke, the implications of his words finally hitting home. He turned to Derek with a beseeching look on his face. "I-I didn’t meant it. Man you-you gotta talk to him, tell him it was a joke!” Derek scoffed. “I have no intention of ever being face-to-face with the man, let alone to help you.” The paleness had turned into a lovely shade of green. The chief seemed to be the only one to take pity on the rookie. “We will send an officer to your place to get some of your belongings and put you in a safe house for now. It’s not the most ideal situation but maybe now you will think about the consequences of your actions. Once the heat has died down, we will re-call you before we have as sit down to re-assess your place within this team.” Go chief go!!   +++   Derek wasn’t used to feeling dread about coming home after a long shift at work. Even Ochra hadn’t helped his mood over the day. Apart from their sighting of Lydia there hadn’t been sight or sound of the rest of the pack. He had spent the rest of the day re-looking over the pack profiles. He may or may not have focused specifically on Stiles. Derek wasn’t ashamed to say that, normally, Stiles would be the type of man he would go for. It was his eyes; there was….just something there. Psychosis probably. They just seemed to burn into his brain. Derek put the thought to the back of his mind as he remembered he would be spending another night without functioning utilities. Stepping into the house, he immediately noticed the lack of pooling water on the floor. Glancing up, he also realised that somebody must have been in to fix the roof – it looked like a brand new roof/floor had been installed in place of the areas ruined by the burst pipes. Huh. After letting Ochra out he checked the water in the tap, discovering the mains had been switched back on. Derek called the landlord to thank him; he was an older man but had given Derek a great deal on the house and had caved when Derek has asked if he could have a dog in the previously no-pets allowed home. It only rang a few times before Bob answered, greeting the man with a cheerful hello. “Hey Bob, sorry about the lateness of the call. Just back from work but I wanted to say thank you for getting somebody to fix the pipe.” Bob chuckled on the other line. “Don’t worry about the time Derek. But I have to admit I’m a little confused. I did call around but I couldn’t get anybody to fix it. If it’s fixed it was nothing to do from my end. But hey, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth! At least you can use the room again.” Further pleasantries were exchanged before Derek let the man go to eat his roast dinner, even more confused than when he walked into the house in the first place. He made his way upstairs to change out of his work clothes but the sight of the bathroom caught his attention. It wasn’t so much that it had been fixed but more like it had been full on replaced. Everything was crisp, clean white. The bath and shower had also been replaced, Derek knew from glance the shower itself cos a pretty penny. Everything looked…upmarket, expensive – everything Derek was not and he was 99% sure he knew who was behind it. Walking into the bedroom, he almost wasn’t surprised by the large bouquet of white roses which had been placed on top of his bed and the box of chocolates to the side. He also guessed that they were the expensive kind. After checking his room for bugs, he gathered his gifts before he left his house. His first neighbour (a single mother) was very happy with her new bunch of flowers where as his other neighbour (a slightly older gentlemen) adored the chocolates – telling Derek he was a sucker for his sweet tooth. Suck on that Stilinski. Taunting the man may not have been his smartest move but someone else might as well benefit from his warped sense of romance. He dialed Boyd’s number has he prepared his dinner, bagging all the food Stiles had thoughtfully placed in his fridge to drop off at the food shelter on his way to work tomorrow. “So the pack actually made it into my house this time. My pipe is fixed and my bathroom is replaced. Not sure what I’m more upset about: that he thinks home furnishing is the way to my dick or that my bathroom no longer matches the rest of my décor.” “You should be happy that’s all he did; Greenburg’s house was firebombed about an hour ago”   Yeah he really shouldn’t taunt Stiles. ***** Chapter 6 ***** The same pattern occurred for the next week – Derek came home to expensive gifts which he promptly gave away to his neighbours, landlord or even random people in the street. Stiles sent him flowers – he put them on unmarked graves in the cemetery, Stiles gave him a tailored Gucci suit – Derek gave it to Bob for his anniversary dinner, Stiles paid his rent – Derek donated the equivalent of it to charities around the city. For somebody so smart, Stiles really didn’t get it. There had been no more attacks against Greenburg as the man was deep in hiding and there was no more breaks in the case. Isaac was still MIA and there was still no update on just who Kali was. Derek was enjoying a lovely and rare day off – currently reading in the park with Ochra sprawled beside him. The weather had warmed up enough that Derek could happily spend the day outside. Reading was his favourite past time outside of work. Erica mocked him when he realised his guilty pleasure was romance novels but it was his way to forget for an afternoon. He liked books, they took away his darkness. He still had the feeling of being watched but had kind of gotten used to it. Stiles had been watching him every day since he took the case. He briefly wondered what surprise would be waiting for him at home this time. He waited until the sun had set before walking back, happy that Ochra had tired herself out to the point she would sleep as soon as she got home. Derek was surprised to see the lights had been switched on when he came into view of his home. He knew fine well he hadn’t left them on when he had left earlier that afternoon. Walking in, he was hit with the aroma of freshly cooked food. He had never been welcomed home like this before, not even when he was younger and was coming in from school. His heart clamped at the memory of his futile childhood. The times where he whimpered and wondered why he couldn’t have a normal family – parents and siblings who cared and who wanted to keep him safe. He had been alone for his whole life and he was tired. Ochra helped him, she was something for him to live for but it wasn’t enough. This wasn’t a new feeling for him; he had felt like this since he had started training. Boyd was bang on when he said Derek and Isaac were similar: both unloved, both lost and both lonely in life. Walking into the kitchen, steam was still rising from the freshly cooked lasagne which was sitting on his kitchen table next to another pile of papers and photographs. Derek placed his book next to the lasagne dish and scoured through the paper. The photographs were of him at the park. Some were taken at a long distance portrait while some were close-ups of Derek smiling when he had come to his favourite parts of his book. He couldn’t remember the last time he had actually seen himself smiling. Dropping the photos, he took stock of the additional papers. The first was a hand written version of a song by Billy Bragg:   Thinking back now, I suppose you were just stating your views What was it all for For the weather or the battle ofAgincourt And the times that we all hoped would last Like a train they have gone by so fast And though we stood together At the edge of the platform We were not moved by them With my own hands When I make love to your memory It's not the same I miss the thunder I miss the rain And the fact that you don't understand Casts a shadow overthis_land But the sun still shines from behind it. Thanks all the same But I just can't bring myself to answer your letters It's not your fault But your honesty touches me like a fire The polaroid’s that hold us together Will surelyfade_away Like the love that we spoke of forever On st swithin's day   St. Swithin’s day?? Derek looked at the second page: a picture of a landscape which Derek knew to be Arthurs Seat in Edinburgh, Scotland. His eyes widened as he contemplated the tokens then thought back to his book. It was ‘One Day’ by David Nichols where St Swithen’s day and Arthur’s seat were major components within the story. It was also his favourite book: two friends who went through life’s ups and downs before finding their friendship evolving from friends to lovers. He wasn’t sure if Stiles had given him what he did because he knew it was his favourite book or if it was because it was the one he was reading at the time. He felt sick at the slight warmth that was building in his gut. Shit he needed help.   +++   Derek found himself sat in front of the sub department therapist, Dr Deaton. Derek had spoken to the Chief and the deal was that Derek could stay on the case if he would go and speak to somebody. Apparently Deaton had cornered off the whole afternoon for the man. Derek couldn’t help but feel that even if a week had been cornered off he would still need more time. “So Derek… why don’t you tell me why we are here?” Derek had made it his life mission to keep his cards close to his chest but he knew things needed to change. “I-I am working a case and it’s just…getting to me.” “Yes I have been informed about Mr Stilinski’s affections. How does it make you feel?” “I don’t know. I mean I know Stilinski and what he is capable and before it was easy to distance myself but…it feels sometimes t-that…I don’t know I’m struggling to connect the man in the profile to the gifts. I have to catch myself at times – sometimes I seem to grow f-fond of the attention. I don’t know, everything is a mess in my head.” Deaton clasped his hands together and settled himself further back into his seat. “And what about before? Was your head a mess before?” Derek nodded. “It’s never been quiet. At times it feels like I have a thousand people talking to me at the same time and I just want it to stop. I don’t…I never feel good or happy. I never feel safe. Even before this I always seemed to be looking over my shoulder.” Deaton made notes. “In an ideal world what would you be like? How would you be? How would your life would be?” Derek noted it was a rather strange question but put it to the back of his head for now. “Erm…I-I would be happy. Somebody to come home to, somewhere safe where I don’t have to look over my back all the time. Sometimes I wish I could just…run away. Lock myself in a room and just stay there. People may say that I would miss the world but I have seen enough of it. Murder, rape, death…there is nothing left that I can see which is good.” Deaton stared at him. “Derek have you ever been suicidal?” Well Deaton’s is obviously not pulling any punches. He nodded. “Yeah…erm I think so. Its….everything has always been dark and there was a time where it didn’t seem like I could ever get away from it. I tried to break away from my family so I would wake up in the back of a van with broken ribs. I tried to…do something so I could live so I sold myself. Even now, I try to do my best and I just get knocked down again and again. I just….how many times can somebody get pushed before they jump? I have nothing and sometimes I wish I could just-just not have to think anymore. Its sick, but he is the only one who seems to care. If it was enough to make Isaac give up his life, why not me? But then…I can’t sit and watch people get hurt or sold because of what the pack do. I just don’t know anymore, I want to do the right thing.” “Well it seems to me that you need to take time to figure out how to get yourself from where you are now to what you want for the future. It is not weakness to lean on people. There is doing the right thing and doing what is right for you. There is no point doing what you think is best if it destroys you in the end. You need to find your star in the darkness. Your life had been people wanting to hurt you so it is no surprise you may want to latch onto the one person who is offering you kindness. It’s your issues you need to work through and that is what I am hopefully here for. To help you.“ Derek left the room feeling no lighter than he did before. Instead he felt worse.   +++   Derek had taken the lasagne into the lab for testing, the results showing that the food was legit. It again made Derek’s stomach twist. Nobody had ever made him home-cooked food. The same aroma as before greeted him again when he walked into his house, Ochra with her usual welcoming. But Derek…he felt like he had been gutted. Today was just too much, he felt numb in his own body. Walking into the kitchen he smelt the fresh, hot pasta bake. His stomach growled and before he realised, Derek had taken a fork and began to eat the food. God it was good. He was halfway through before he realised a note had been left next to the dish.   My mother used to make this for me when I was younger. I know today was tough for you. Eat and settle yourself on the couch. I have put a blanket down for you to cocoon in and have put a DVD in for you. Go to the front door, there is a box on the wall next to it. It is a new alarm system. I have left the number of the company for you to ring if you want to confirm it. It is state of the art and the code is 24561. Once set, nobody will be able to set foot near your house without you knowing. You are safe. I won’t let anything hurt you again     Aw shit-balls. Derek called and ran a check on the alarm company who turned out to be legit and talked him through exactly what had been installed and what it did. Derek was surprised to find it was more secure than anything the old Hale house ever had – all that was missing was monitors but the man on the phone was adamant that cameras were not part of the system. Just to make sure, Derek did a quick sweep of his house and came up empty handed. Derek had to admit, the blanket did look warm and snuggly. He may or may not have groaned at just touching it. Walking up the stairs and into the bathroom, Derek pulled a draw out and dug around until his hand closed around a pill tube lodged at the back. It had been a long time since he took his anti-depressants. But then again, it had been a long time since he had felt so low. Weaning himself off of them had been hard the first time – he had previously been on them for a few years when he first started college but if Derek was honest with himself, his moods recently had started to scare him. It may not be the best solution but at the moment, bar jumping off a bridge, it was his only one left. Knocking back the pills and taking some sleeping ones as well, Derek walked down and cuddled into the couch, throwing the blanket over himself and switching the DVD player on. He barely had time to think to himself ‘How did he know Sabrina was my favourite film?’ before the pills took effect and he fell into a deep sleep. He didn’t even notice he had left the back door open.   ***** Chapter 7 ***** Chapter Notes Guys......how amazing was Hoechlin in the last episode?!?! AMAZING!! Ok I have done research about animal companions and how they can impact the lives of people with issues so have tried to write the relationship between Ochra and Derek in a way that is realistic. Please bare in mind when you read this story that I am trying to communicate the slow deterioration of Derek's mind, his reactions wont be the same as they would if he was canon because it is different circumstances and has been pushed to the extreme. If you would like to read more check out http://dogsfordepression.org.uk/ and http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Blue-Surviving-Depression-Anxiety/ dp/1599951568 is also a good read about the topic of Depression and goes into other comping mechanisms aswell   There are also discussions of Peter/Derek in a not so nice context BUT nothing is graphic and it is only briefly talked about Derek woke to a chill breeze wafting through the house. Blinking his eyes against the sleep, he cursed to himself. He always felt groggy after taking the pills on a night and knew it would take him a few minutes to get his brain to function. Blinking again, he realised it was day light outside. He chuckled to himself; he couldn’t remember the last time he had slept the night straight through. Probably the last time he mixed pills. If he could, he would probably add drink into that equation as well but knew fine well alcohol and him were not a good mix. Walking into the kitchen, he poured himself a cup of coffee and started to make Ochra’s breakfast for her and sat down to read the paper. It was only then he had woken up enough to realise the breeze was coming from his open back door and Ochra was nowhere to be seen. Dumping his coffee, Derek walked outside and called her name. She wasn’t there. He ran back into the house, looking everywhere and still she was nowhere to be seen. Derek realised half way down the street that he was still in his pyjamas but still he carried on calling her name. Nothing. After three hours and calls to his neighbours, Derek trudged back to the house dejected after having briefly run back to the house to grab a coat and shoes. Nobody knew anything. He called every shelter and vets in the area on his way to work and there was still nothing. Part of him felt silly about how much it affected him. It was just a dog but…Ochra was HIS dog. He couldn’t face his home without her. He didn’t want to. When he had bought her, he was a mess. Having something to look after had brought him out of his depression and despair. She was his safety blanket and it was now gone. When he had bad days, she crawled up and snuggled up next to him and wouldn’t leave his side. Her presence soothed and settled him. She loved him unconditionally and he was the same back. If Stiles was the first person to give him attention in his life, Ochra was the first thing ever to love him. Derek knew he was more subdued then normal and was aware of the looks Erica and Boyd were giving him but he just couldn’t care. He didn’t care that they had connected Kali to a gang in California names the Alphas or that they specialised in drug trafficking and he didn’t care that they had decided to bring in members of the pack for questioning in relation to Peter’s death. Chief had decided Derek wasn’t to be present during the interviews so instead took position behind the duel mirror. Aiden, Ethan and Danny were unresponsive, ‘I don’t know’ the answer to every question, Lydia enjoyed using the mirror to re-apply her make-up before telling Erica and Boyd that they were unable to detain her as she wasn’t being charged as she walked out the room. Scott’s interview was a bit more productive. He had the charming smile and puppy dog eyes down to a pat. Derek knew that Scott got things done not out of force, but more due to his personally. He was the nice to Stiles’ sarcasm. The only time the façade slipped was when Isaac was brought into the conversation, Erica questioning what he had done to force Isaac to leave, if Isaac was so pathetic he couldn’t say no. Derek and Boyd both knew she said it to get a rise and by the removal of the smile and the clenching of his jaw it had worked. “Did you know his dad first locked him in the freezer when he was 2 years old because he had a nightmare one night and lost control of his bladder? He beat him black and blue until he was 18 and left home? He worked his way up with the shadow of an abuser always on his back? And you think he is pathetic? No, no far from it Agent. He is the bravest person ever and now he is getting what he deserves, love and protection. You can think all the scenarios you want but Isaac chose to be with me and he is happier then ever. I can get him to testify to that. We are done.” Derek couldn’t deny that his heart rate increased at the thought of the next interviewee: Stiles Stilinski. This would be the first time he had ever seen the man in person. The door opened and in walked the most perilous man of the pack. His light brown hair was not as sleek as his other members – it was quite messy but it just suited his look. He was surprised to realise Stilinski was the same height as him, less stocky but with a more athletic build. He wore simple jeans and t-shirt but Derek could tell that the man had some muscles under his clothing. If he had passed him on the street, he would have considered him to be…well a bit of a nerd. But his presence filled the room. The man smoothly sat on the chair and stared at Boyd and Erica, who began their routine questions. Stiles answered with confidence until he started to get bored. “Why don’t you just ask me what you really want to? I have no time for games Agents. You should be more like me, when you want something, you take it” Stiles directed his look to the mirror. “Ok, Peter Hale. If anybody is capable of taking him out it was you. We know it was your pack so why? What was the point of removing the last Hale?” Stiles laughed before he leaned back on the chair and propped his feet on the table. He was now half facing his interrogators and half facing the mirror. “Now now Agent Boyd, we all know Peter was not exactly the last Hale. But your lack of attention to detail is neither here or there. I would like to tell you a story. Don’t look at me like that; see it as a tale of morality. There was once this man. He wasn’t very nice if I do say so myself. However there was one person, one person in the whole wide world who he did seem to care for. But this man, you see he was…warped. He didn’t know how to express love. Anyway the thing is…see this person – the one who brought warmth to the evil villain? He was just a child. Not even that, it was his own nephew. The nephew was different though to his family. He was nice while the rest were mean, empathetic while they were cold. A complete juxtaposition to the Uncle” Stiles removed his feet from the table and lent forward on his elbows. “So the child grew up, disillusioned with the life he had. Then one day, when the child had turned 16, the uncle took things a bit too far. You see the uncle wanted the boy for himself, but he also wanted to share him out. If he could make a profit he would have sold his own mother. So anyway, the boy ran away. Uncle was not happy at all and tried to get him back. He was even more unhappy when he found out what the boy had done to survive - that the boy had been with others. Years passed but still the man wanted his nephew.” Stiles paused to take a sip of some water, as cool and calm as he had been since he walked through the door. “He took on a bunch of teenagers, all with their own issues. Death, abandonment, perception of what they are rather then who they were or they just generally didn’t fit in – they were all recruited after the Uncle lost his family in a fire at the main pack hangout. As this rag-tag group of individuals grew up over the influence of the man, many of them were posted to watch over the nephew. Watch as he worked hard and got himself a very nice job. One that was so unlike the life he had grown up in. In fact the nephew actually gained respect from the new members of his uncles group; some took more of a shine to him than others. Some may have taken that liking to the next level so became very…protective shall we say, of the nephew. It was such a shame. The nephew was so lonely and yet he had no idea he had protection and love from a group of people who he hadn’t even known about but they knew all about him. They knew everything, really with all the talents in the group and the resources they had do you really think it was difficult to keep track of the nephew without him even knowing? So a few months ago the man came up with a plan to get the nephew back and make sure he never left him again. Sadly before the plan could happen – the uncle passed away.” Stiles stood up and slowly paced the room. “Now…theoretically if this story were true, would it really be that much of a shame? That the uncle – a paedophilic, perverted man – was removed before he could ruin his nephew’s life more then he already had? See, I could never understand the actions of the uncle. I can understand the….infatuation he had with the nephew – especially when the boy grew into a man. The nephew as an adult would have been…perfect. I personally would have waited for him to grow – children don’t do anything for me personally – but the thing I don’t understand, if I get my hands on a jewel like the nephew, I wouldn’t share. I would take him away from the world so nobody and nothing could touch him again. If he is locked away like a precious pearl – he would never be hurt nor upset because I would do anything to make him smile. He would be safe and loved and I would destroy anything that could harm him. But as I said – that was just a story.” Stiles opened the door to leave before he turned to face the mirror. “But for the record, it wasn’t me. I was at the club all night when Peter passed away and trust me, I have a few intimate witnesses who can vouch for my…presence. Good day” The door echoed as it closed shut behind him. Derek wasn’t surprised when he walked into his house that night to find a simple pearl on top of his pillow. ***** Chapter 8 ***** Chapter Notes Again I have researched some more about the impact of animal loss on a person and would just like to remind readers of Dereks mental state. Hopefully I have managed to show how low he is so that what happens next is semi-believable. http://courses.washington.edu/ evpsych/Archer_Why-do-people-love-their-pets_1997.pdf, http:// phenomena.nationalgeographic.com/2013/11/21/on-losing-a-dog/, http:// www.scientificamerican.com/article/shades-of-grief/ all address pet loss and the impact it can have It had been two weeks and there was still no sight of Ochra. The gifts had taken a turn from extravagant to more sentimental items – there was a first edition of ‘One day’, another one was a teddy Derek remembers he had from when he was younger – he had collected quarters and spent a full day at the arcade to try and win the thing. But along with the gifts also came the nightmares. Derek spent the first week consistently washing his bed sheets after he would wake up drenched in sweat. He remembered the day Stiles was talking about. The day Peter attacked him. It was a normal day and what he thought was a normal beating until Peter had held him down and began stroking his face, muttering he had waited for too long. Derek fought back and managed to give him the slip before Peter could do anything but that was when he realised that he needed to go. He knew if he gave Peter another chance he wouldn’t be so lucky. So he ran. Even now, 15 years after it happened, that day still replayed in his mind. So he threw himself into his medication. For the first time in years he renewed his prescription and seemed to digest the pills more then he digested food – anything to just dull the pain and give him some semblance of sanity. The case had come to a complete stand still. There was no proper evidence to link the pack to Peter’s death and no tangible link from the Hale pack to the Alpha pack. Everybody had an alibi, including Stiles so until there was a slip up, nobody could be connected to the death. Eventually resources had been removed from the case onto others which flooded the department, the chief regretfully reducing its importance after pressure from his highers to focus on cased which they could solve. Derek had been put back onto his old monotonous cases like he had before. He was bored at work, still at the end of comments from Jackson and his crew over his failure to achieve anything. If anything, Jacksons vitriol has seemed to increase in intensity over the past few days and was starting to sting deep. He came home and he was alone. The only comfort he received was from the notes Stiles left him. The few times he had continued to see Deaton, he just left the office feeling worse than before which surprised Derek as whenever he thought he had hit rock bottom – he seemed to be able to sink lower. He had worked hard to get order in his life, he had a good job (which he was obviously shit at), a home (which was more a house then a home no matter how much he tried) but he still felt as lost as he did the first time he had slept in the doorway of a shop with only a jacket to keep him warm. Part of him mourned how he had failed, how he had done so much for it to amount to nothing. Another part wanted what Stiles offered that day, to just let him take him away. Another, darker part of his head simply said there was no point; Stiles would just give him up as well. He wanted to be disgusted at himself that he was even giving thought to the pack leader but he just…just couldn’t make sense anymore. He had been fighting his whole life, was it fair to expect him to fight anymore? A banging on his front door shook him from his inertia. Nobody ever called on him. Oh god, it might be somebody with Ochra. Derek ran to the door and flung it open. Only for his heart to brake a little bit more when he saw Jackson and not Ochra. The man didn’t even greet him, just pushed him aside and barged his way into his house; his haven. Derek could only watch as Jackson sized up his dwelling, smirk growing with his judgement. Jackson finally turned his distasteful look to Derek, sizing him up before his smirk widened as he pulled out a brown envelope out of his coat pocket and flung it on the coffee table. “I’m not going to waste my time in this hovel. You have until tomorrow to resign from work and leave or those pictures are going public. I don’t have to tell you how bad it will look to the public that a Hale family member who now works for the FBI used to be a prostitute and is now in cahoots with Stilinski, while still working for the government. All it would take would be a little nudge to remind them of the damage your family has caused to so many people and what they did before there would be riots. Ah these pictures would look so good in black-and-white print – you trust up and getting fucked by dirty old men. You must be – what, 18 in these pictures? Doesn’t matter either way, once it gets out, you will be as good as dead. Lots of people in this town still hold a grudge and would die to get their hands on you. So do as I say and you may just get out alive” Jackson began to walk out the room and towards the front door before Derek whispered and asked him why. Jackson turned to look back at him, murder in his eyes. “I wasn’t born as a Whittemore. I was adopted by them when I was 13. My father used to be a business man until your father took a grudge and killed him and my mother. And you…you just get to walk free?! You get to live a normal life while I have to suffer every day because of your family? No, no Derek I have waited a long time for this, for you to slip up so I could destroy you as your family destroyed me. You don’t deserve to live. You are worse than pathetic, you are beneath me and I am done seeing your face every day, hearing people talk ‘oh that poor boy, what a hard life he has had’. It’s a FUCKING JOKE!! You got till tomorrow Hale, Don’t try anything because trust me when I say I’m not the only one with a copy of these photos.” Derek didn’t even hear the door slam as Jackson left; he was trying to figure out everything in his head. He collapsed next to the table – emptying the contents of the envelope. Jackson wasn’t lying – it was him. Tied and bound to hang in the air – being filled at both ends. The other photos varied in men that were fucking him and the position he was in but it was still him – being used for money and sex. The photos began to shake, Derek realising that it was his hands trembling. He thinks this may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. He had imagined what might happen when he was pushed too far. He thought he would scream, shout, trash his house and break down. He didn’t. He just simply left the pictures where they were. Walked upstairs. Took out his duty gun from the safe. Walked out the front door. He didn’t even close it behind him. There was no point. He wouldn’t be back ***** Chapter 9 ***** He didn’t remember the walk to the underpass but it made sense that he had come here to end things. It had been his home for the first two years on the street. Nobody came here and it provided him a little form of shelter. The river that used to run under it had dried up years ago; the stench of rotted waste drove others away. He would huddle himself into one of the corners up the top of the rise to not only block the cold hard night but to hide in case one of the pack goonies had followed him. They never did though. Probably thought that even Derek wouldn’t lower himself to live here, but then again they never realised just how desperate he was. Even when he was with john’s he never slept over – always retreating back to this spot. He remembered he couldn’t sleep for a few weeks when he had moved into his first apartment – so unused to the quiet. The bypass was a busy one – cars and trucks drove across it throughout the night, blocking out any other noise. Derek was pleased to see that it was still as deserted as it had been all those years ago. He didn’t want anybody to see what he was going to do. As a rookie he could never understand those who wanted to end things by stepping out on the road or in front of a train or off a building. Why, if you were so desperate to end your life would you want to do it in a way that would harm or traumatise other people? He had lost count of the volume of drivers he spoke to who had to get help for what they had witnessed. All internally blamed themselves – they could have avoided it, could have stopped it. Derek tried to emphasise that it wasn’t their fault – they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. No, Derek couldn’t do it that way. Couldn’t have somebody see just how far he had fallen. Then again it wasn’t like he had far to fall when he was in hell from the moment he came into this world. What did it say about him? That his parents barely held their distaste for their son? His sisters despised their brother? His uncle wanted to…to do things to him? If they were the seed of darkness, he must have been the tree to produce that seed. He must have been destined for failure if even the sickest people thought he was worthless, less than dirt. And they were right. He had nothing. His job was gone – ruined over his own stupidity and greed when a man had offered him more money than he made in a month for one full night, no questions asked. Even the men during that one night knew just how worthless he was. His home was gone. He tried to make it…something good in life but that didn’t even work. And all he had that was decent was a fucking dog who left the first chance she got and mementos from a man who just wanted him as a trophy. Something to show that he had succeeded where Peter had failed. But that didn’t matter anymore, nothing did. This- this is for the best, Jackson was right. He needed to pay for everything – for his family, for his mistakes and for his failing. Derek pulled the gun out of his pocket, double checking the ammunition. Boy he would have egg on his face if he tried to commit suicide and failed because he had brought an empty gun. Derek chuckled to his thoughts – really though it would just slot in to another one of his failings in life. He just needed the one shot. Derek just looked down at the gun, his last hope, his salvation… Derek was sure he heard the bang of a gun in the mixture of the noise from the highway above and wrinkled his brow in confusion. He hadn’t even brought the gun up to his head, let alone fired it. A harsh tingle in his arm brought his gaze away from the shiny metallic contraption in his hand to find a tranquiliser dart imbedded in his bicep. Derek removed it and just…looked, not even realising he had dropped the gun to the floor. He could feel his brain starting to fuzz over but he still couldn’t connect the dart to what was happening to him now. If felt like seconds had passed before his legs gave out under him and he hit the cold concrete floor hard. No, no he had to finish this. He tried to reach for the gun to end the hurt, but his arm seemed to stop working as he was mid-reach, flopping uselessly to the ground as his fingers strained to reach it as his vision became hazy. A pair of shoes appeared before his vision as the figure in front kneeled before him, placing a hand under his face and raising his head slightly so Derek’s distorted vision could see the figure’s face. He knew those brown eyes. He knows he does but he just couldn’t think anymore, vision started to fade from hazy to black as his eyes began to roll into his head. Still he fought against it, he needed his gun. “Sorry about this pup. I had planned on waiting a bit longer till we properly met face-to-face but you haven’t left me much choice now have you?” The blackness sucked him in, Derek hoping that somehow he wouldn’t wake up. ***** Chapter 10 ***** He had woken up periodically since the underpass but could only remember bits and pieces - nothing to form a coherent thought. The first time he came to and could actually stay awake for longer than five seconds he woke to a plain white ceiling. Everything was still hazy – like he was in the waking state between still drunk and hung-over. Nothing really hurt – his head just felt….it was what he felt like when he had to take morphine for an injury. Focusing was a trial but he felt lucid, relaxed. It was only when the fog had slightly cleared (not much though) and when he tried to move that he realised he couldn’t. He attempted to raise his head but it felt like it was made of concrete. As his head further cleared, he realised he couldn’t move due to a mixture of lethargy and restraints. His wrists were restrained to the side of the bed he was in as were his legs. Huh, somebody must have found him and taken him to hospital. Derek tried to remember what happened before he passed out but again, it was all disjointed. Brown, brown? Why was he remembering brown? The click of the door signalled a nurse’s arrival into the room. Derek turned his head to ask for water but stopped himself when he took in the nurses’ very male build. He knew him, he did, he did but how? Like lightening striking he remembered. Deaton. Fucking FBI psychologist Deaton. The brown eyes had been Stilinski. Shit. Deaton stopped and turned to him, looking down. “Stiles will be in to see you soon. When he is gone we will give you some more relief.” Derek shook his head; he most definitely did not want what they considered to be relief. Deaton smiled down at him. “You’re not really getting a choice in this. So be good while you can.” He turned and walked out, letting Derek clear his mind more. So obviously Stiles had brought him back to the pack and was about to pump him full of drugs of the no-good-can-come-from-this variety. Derek didn’t hear Stiles enter the room, jumping when he entered his vision. Surprisingly, the man had a soft smile on his face – a look nobody had ever directed at him before. “Ok so I’m not going to pander and ask how you are. You will stay here until I’m happy you’re not going to do something stupid again then when you are ok you will come back with me. It’s obvious you have no care for your life anymore so I’m taking the decision away from you. Over time you will realise this is for the best pup.” Stiles began to softly stroke his face. Derek tried to move away. “I want to go home” His voice croaked as he spoke. Stiles snorted as he brought a cup of water and a straw over to the bedridden man. Derek drank like he hadn’t had water for days, holding in a whine when Stiles removed the cup. “Home? Really? You have no home pup. I saw the pictures and I know what Jackson was planning to do. You don’t have a home anymore. The pictures and the story are appearing in the daily papers as we speak. Everybody in Chicago will know what you did and will be out for your blood. The article is just the beginning.” Stiles wiped a wet cloth over Derek’s face – a soft action to counteract his harsh words. “Soon you won’t even be able to walk down the street without having to watch your back to see if somebody is following you, waiting for the opportune moment to catch you off guard. But really, it’s not like you don’t do that anyway. Which is why you will stay here, where you are safe. Nobody, not even Jackson can get you here. And really that’s all you want in life hmm? Safety.” Stiles placed the cloth on the side before nodding his head, Deaton re-entering the room with a syringe in his hand. Derek tried to move away but his head was still swirling a bit. “No, no drugs.” Stiles carded his hand through Derek’s hair, face soft in response to Derek’s beseeching look. “No can do. Think of them as happy drugs. They will make you sleepy, happy….compliant. A week on these should do the trick I think, maybe longer, depending on how you react. Just you watch pup, the time will fly by.” Stiles bent to place a soft kiss on Derek’s forehead as he felt the pierce of the needle and the warmth filtering into his blood. For the second time, Derek felt his eyes rolling, his last sight being Stiles' smiling eyes.   +++   Time meant nothing anymore. He didn’t know how long he had been here or what day it was. Derek was sure there were times he had woken but just couldn’t remember them. Any time he did wake and he could remember; Stiles was always sat beside him, talking to him. Whenever he felt himself clearing up, more drugs were injected. Now and then he dreamed. Sometimes it was Peter, sometimes it was Jackson. Whenever he woke and saw Stiles he knew he was safe from his reveries. Stiles always talked to him, was always telling him he was being so good for him. His mom never said that. Peter did once but Stiles got angry when Derek told him that. He talked more than he used to, said things to Stiles he would never normally say. But Stiles never got angry at him; he just sat and stroked his face as he listened to Derek talk. Sometimes he would kiss him on the forehead, sometimes on the lips but it didn’t matter, Derek just wanted any form of contact. He said he would look after him and Derek believed him. He read him passages from books – not that Derek could properly follow the plot. There had been a few times Derek had awoken and realised Stiles wasn’t there and he had panicked. If Stiles wasn’t here, Peter or Jackson or…or…angry people could get to him. If Stiles was here, he would be ok. He was told he was safe whenever the man was here. He still brought him gifts: pictures of places far away they would go. Stiles told him the pack would die to protect Stiles and because he meant so much to him – they would do the same for Derek. They were a family. God Derek wanted a family. They were nice to him when they came to visit, Scott and Isaac looked so happy. He wanted that. They had shown him more care then he had ever had before. Derek knew he had to stay, Scott and Danny had told him a warrant was out for his arrest – he would get hurt if he went to jail but it would be ok, he was special to Stiles so he wouldn’t let anything happen to him. Part of him was yelling, telling him he was stupid. This is exactly what Stilinski wanted, to take advantage of his broken mind with drugs to disorientate him, make him even more vulnerable as Stiles promised him everything he wanted. But the larger part was too tired to care. He didn’t care anymore. The fighting, the loneliness – he didn’t want it anymore. Maybe it would be best to give Stiles what he wanted. Even if it was only for a few months before the man got tired and got rid of him – maybe those few months could make him happier then he had been before. When he woke up and saw the man next to him, his heart grew. The man was the only one in his life who had stuck by his side – even if it was just for a few days (or however long he had been here for). Derek couldn’t argue that, even though he was trapped here – both physically and mentally, he was safe. The world and its depravity couldn’t touch him. If Stiles was here, he felt safe. He just wanted to be happy. Was that really so bad? ***** Chapter 11 ***** For the first time since he arrived here, Derek was removed from his bed. His mind was still fuzzy but not as bad as it had been when he first arrived. Derek didn’t know if it was a growing tolerance or reduction in dosage but he was happy. Scott and Isaac had helped him move from the bed into a wheelchair after he had been unstrapped and the catheter removed. He felt heavy in his own body, limbs weighed down by lack of use. His legs shook just walking from the bed to the chair and Derek knows he would have collapsed if Scott hadn’t been holding him up. He barely took in his surroundings as Scott led him through the building, Isaac clasping Derek’s hand and chatting away to him. From what he remembered Isaac had been withdrawn and quiet before he left with Scott – it can’t be that bad if it could make Isaac happy. Looking down, Derek couldn’t help but snort: he was dressed like he was in a hospital. Plain white paper trousers and a long sleeved white top. Maybe a mental hospital? Let’s face it; it might be the best place for Derek. The breeze hitting his face made him look up. God he had missed fresh air, the sun hitting his face. Derek took a deep inhale, a large smile plastered on his face. He had been taken into a garden. It was nice, large. There were some flowers and shrubbery but not much. Looking around, he couldn’t see Stiles anywhere. Derek’s breathing started to constrict, his grip on Isaac’s hand tightening until Scott held his face in between his hands, softly stroking the sides of his face. It was nice, but didn’t settle him like Stiles did. “Derek, listen to me. Stiles is just getting your present for you. Because he said you have been so good for him and you should be rewarded but he wouldn’t be happy if you got yourself into a panic so you need to calm down.” Derek’s breathing evened out at the thought Stiles would be upset with him. The man had been so nice to him; he didn’t want to make him upset, to send him away yet, back into the cruel outside. So he sat and waited, only his grip on Isaac relaying his growing anxiety. Isaac turned to face him. “You don’t like being outside? Is it because you think people can get to you?” Derek nodded. Isaac crouched to whisper to him. “I know the feeling so I understand. Not only do you have people after you because you’re a Hale, but you have people after you because you’re FBI and also because of what you used to do. We both know that some of your johns are prominent in society so I can only imagine how much they would want to silence you. Why…if I was you, I wouldn’t want to set foot outside ever again.” Isaac winked, gave his hand a squeeze before standing and sending a smirk over his head to Scott. That was exactly how Derek felt. It was a few minutes till Stiles made an appearance, running his hand though Derek’s hair. “I hear you were being bad for our friends Derek. I don’t like when you are being bad.” Derek’s heart dropped. He didn’t mean to be bad; he wanted Stiles to be happy. He was the only one who cared about him; he obviously wanted him around if he went to the trouble to stop him from killing himself. He was the only one to do so. “I’m sorry” Derek whispered. Stiles came to crouch in front of him. “Why were you being bad for us? Scott and Isaac have been nice to you, they like you just as much as I do” Derek looked down. “I missed you. I don’t like it when you’re not around” Yeah maybe the drugs were still making him lucid. He realised he was still relaxed, more so then he had ever been before – even with being outside. Stiles looked at him before turning to send a wink in Scott’s direction. “That’s ok pup. That’s because you know that everything will be ok when you are with me. But anyway, even though I’m not pleased with how you behaved towards our family, I still have something for you because you are my special little pup ok?” Stiles nodded his head towards somebody Derek couldn’t see before he reached out to take something and bring it in front of Derek. It took a while for Derek to realise it was a dog. It was only after the dog started to lick his hand and cuddle into his legs that he realised it was Ochra. Derek couldn’t stop the tear rolling down his face as he patted his dog. God he had missed her so much. He laughed as she propped herself up on his legs to lick his face. He looked towards Stiles, whispering a thank you before he buried his face into her neck, stifling a sniffle into her fur and avoiding the collar Stiles had originally bought her which now adorned her neck. He didn’t know how long he had spent hugging her before Stiles slowly pulled her off of him, getting her to sit beside him as he wrapped his arm around her while his other hand took Derek’s. “Pup I need you to listen to me. You, me and Ochra are a family. I care very much for both of you. So I need to do what I can to protect you both. Ochra needs to stay with me. I am what is best for her, and you. Derek last time you abandoned her and she ended up lost. I don’t want that to happen again. What do you think?” Derek snuffled, trying to stop his watering eyes. “I-I didn’t m-mean to. It w- was an accident. I was just s-so tired. Please I’m sorry.” Stiles shushed the man. “I know it was an accident. But we don’t want it to happen again now do we?” Derek shook his head. “So you agree; Ochra will be better with me. I know you try, but sometimes a person’s best is not good enough.” Stiles squeezed his hand before standing. “We are going away for a few days. I have some stuff to sort out so you will be here. Don’t worry, I’m sure Lydia and Aiden will take good care of you” Derek shook his head. “No drugs Stiles…please I-I don’t like them…please, please Stiles.” He shook his head. “There you go again Derek. You’re not behaving. We are just trying to help.” Stiles fixed him with a stern look as Derek sagged in his chair. He watched as Lydia walked up with another syringe. Part of his head was sure that the liquid inside was a different colour from what they normally gave him. This time, the drug felt cold and painful when it entered him. Not nice and warm like it had been before. ***** Chapter 12 ***** Chapter Notes Ok so I'm going to need to explain a few things. Anyone who is also reading 'love of the loveless' will know I have been receiving a few not-so-nice anonymous tumblr messages about my current WIP fics including this one. The ones in connection this this specific story have been going on for a while and have been...not so very nice (to the point where the fic was going to be deleted). At the end of the day, I wrote the fic I wanted to write. The tags and warning at the start was very explicit - it was going to be a darker story with some not so nice bits with emotional abuse featured and warned against. I updated the tags when an issue was brought to my attention (quite happily I might add) in the comments left and accepted when readers felt that the story wasn't going in the direction they wanted and they weren't going to continue (And they were left in a very nice way so Thank You very much (No sarcasm, I really do mean it)). I knew I was taking a risk going down the route I did with this story line, but I personally like to take risks and write something a little bit different to the norm and I don't think that should leave me to abuse. Those who go on about how it doesn't fit - guess what? the characters are fiction. I'm sorry I sound like a bitch but i am quite honestly very upset by whats gone on. I can handle concrit, I can handle people saying its not the story for them; that isnt the issue nor is it the point of this. So on that note, here is the finished story. It was about 5 chapters but I have put it all into one because I would rather it fully get posted and get the negative comments out the way. There was going to be a smut chapter but I didn't get round to finishing it before this all came to a head. For those who did enjoy the story, thank you very much. Sorry I guess to those who I seem to have offended with my fic. He was seeing things. He had to be. Peter was dead…he had seen the evidence that he was but the man was stood in front of him, clear as crystal. Derek was going mad. But the figure just stood there, smirking at him like he had done the day he left home. “You’re not real, you’re not real. YOU’RE NOT REAL!” Peter smirked at him as he walked closer, hand outstretched. “Oh Derek, the things I want to do to you.” He walked closer still. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” Derek closed his eyes, trying to calm his breathing back to normal. When he opened them, Peter was gone. Derek tried to fight his restraints, he needed to go. He didn’t know what was real anymore. If he didn’t see Peter, he saw his family. Heard the jeers, the taunts. Sometimes he saw Lydia, reapplying the drugs into his system but other than that he didn’t see her again. Sometimes he saw strangers, them telling him what they wanted to do to him, that they wanted to kill him. Over time, the visions got worse, sicker. Corpses covered in blood, rotten flesh and missing limbs. His throat hurt from the screams. His eyes stung from the tears. It felt like he was on a helter skelter with no end in sight. Now it was his mother – flesh brittle and charred. Derek was sure he could smell the fragrance of burnt flesh filling the room. She was stood at the end of his bed – smiling at him like he had wished she would have done when he were a child. “Do you know I never wanted you? I tried to get rid but still you wormed your way into my life. I may be bad, you are worse. Not even hell would accept you.” Derek screamed the rest of the night.   +++   Derek felt like crying by the time Stiles walked back into the room – trying to stretch out and feel the man. “I’m going mad, Stiles please I think I’ve gone mad.” Stiles smiled softly as he undid the restraints and manoeuvred himself onto the bed so Derek was curled into his side. The natural sent of the man removed the smell of scorched flesh; the soft movement of his hands stroking his sides removed the images of evil from his mind. For the first time, Derek sighed and settled himself further into the man. His safety. He didn’t have the nightmares and visions when Stiles was here, he kept them away. “Derek, why have you been refusing to eat and drink? Lydia and Aiden tried to get you to but you refused.” Derek didn’t even remember if they did nor not. There must be something wrong with him if he remembered the pain that his family brought him over the people that were trying to keep him alive. Derek was stunned when it fully clicked in his head; he really didn’t know what was best for him anymore. It was only when Stiles gave him a straw and a cup of water did he realise he was thirsty. Stiles sighed as he pressed his lips to his forehead. “It’s not surprising that you feel like things are out of control. You have had a hard life pup and all I want is to make it better. I was away to try and find a way to make you better. I want to help but I can’t if you won’t let me. I can make you better, I can make the bad go away but I need you to listen to me, to trust me. Can you do that?” Derek nodded, he wanted to be better. He wanted it to stop. Stiles was there for him. Stiles shifted before he held his hand out in front of Derek, it contained two orange pills. “These will make things better. Lydia said she could hear you screaming at Peter. This will make it stop, make you ok again.” Derek eyed the pills before he took them and swallowed them dry as Stiles smiled down at him – stroking him and telling him he was a good pup. Slowly Derek could feel his body relax, his surroundings seemed brighter than before. He didn’t realise Stiles was softly chuckling at him. “Feel better pup?” He bobbed his head in response, he felt brighter than he had ever been before, a weight off his shoulders. Stiles started to shift away, Derek tightening his arms in response. “I think it’s time for us to leave hmm? To go home, just you me and our family.” Derek hesitated, he didn’t want to go outside – not back to the darkness. He wanted to stay as he was – sunny and free. Stiles helped him stand, wrapping his arm around his waist when he wobbled on his feet. “Ochra can’t wait to see you again. She misses you. Nobody can get to you now. Remember? The story I told them about the nephew and how precious he was? I meant it, you are my diamond and I don’t let the things I want get taken away from me. You are safe – even if I need to lock you up safe and secure I will because you are mine.” Stiles brushed his lips against Derek’s before leading him out the room, down a corridor and into an open car park. Derek pressed himself as close to Stiles as he could, trying to block the world out. Even as he got into the car he still didn’t settle until stiles pressed Derek’s head to his neck, letting him burrow into the crease between his neck and shoulders. He didn’t raise his head until the car stopped and the engine cut off. Looking up, he took in the large….mansion in front of him. It was more ostentatious then anything the pack had when he was younger. It was surrounded by trees – lush, think vegetation. Derek surmised that they were deep into a wooded area near to the city. “The whole family live here but it’s big enough that the three of us get our privacy. They won’t enter our home unless they ask first. It’s like apartments within a house? Everything is secure – nobody will get 100 meters near the house without us knowing. Nobody would even dare. Come on” They climbed out the car, Derek still looking around. It was…amazing. The old hale house had been smack in the city centre – the family didn’t want to be away from the action and Derek hated it. He liked the forest, the freedom and serenity one had when they were away from the hustle and bustle of the daily grind. As they entered the house, the interior matched the exterior – large, clean and perfect. Stiles led him up a couple of flights of stairs as they made their way to their apartment – passing Scott and Isaac on the stairwell. Isaac was the first to draw Derek into a hug, Scott settling for a pat on the back. “So glad you’re feeling better Derek. You wouldn’t believe how worried we all were. The house wouldn’t be complete without you in it. Now we are a real family” Isaac smiled at him as Scott gave Stiles a high five – exchanging whispered words to each other. Once they left, Stiles took him to a door which he held open for Derek to walk in to be greeted by a very happy black Alsatian. The area was totally different to the rest of the house. The entrance led to a large, open plan living room and kitchen area. The living room had large, plump furniture which Derek could already see himself falling asleep on. The kitchen had a sleek, chrome design to it – a breakfast counter in the middle in lieu of an actually table. The rooms were painted a nice, warm red colour with a large fireplace taking centre stage in the room. The wall with the fireplace was filled with shelves full of books. There was no TV, but there was a large docking and radio station. The great bay windows opened out into a balcony which overlooked the back yard. From here Derek could see the large stone wall which surrounded the property. Rather than making him feel enclosed, it made him feel protected. The bathroom was just as grandiose – a large claw bathtub stood in the heart of the room, toilet and sink to one side and a separate shower to the other. The bedroom had a four poster bed which could have been double the size of the one he had before. This room had a light cream finish. Derek couldn’t help but notice the framed pictures which hung above the wall directly opposite the bed; the lyrics of St. Swithen’s day and a larger picture of Arthurs Seat. All around the apartment were pictures of the places Stiles had showed him when he wasn’t feeling well. Derek turned when Stiles cleared his throat. “I got the books for you. I’m not much of a reader myself – ADHD makes it hard for me to stick with one book but I know you like to read so I got you a mixture of stuff. There is no TV or internet, I don’t think it would be good for you to see and hear the depraved things people are saying about you. It will just set you back. This is all you need. What do you think?” Derek took stock of the area. Nobody had ever gone to this much trouble for him before. He already felt more at home then he had at his old place. Stiles had showed he cared more in the space of a few months than anyone had done his entire life. He wanted to make Derek better, make the pain stop. Derek walked up to his…saviour before leaning forward and pressing his lips to the man’s mouth, opening when Stiles probed at his lips with his tongue. Derek laughed when he realised he had never actually stood and made out with anyone like a teenager. Stiles leaned back; eyes lit it with a warm brown shine. “I’m glad you like it. Now sit down, we need to get some food into you then get you cleaned up. You want to look your best for me pup don’t you?” Derek nodded; he couldn’t remove the smile if he tried.   +++   Stiles made the lasagne Derek never got to try then left him as he enjoyed a bath before leading him into the bedroom, taking clothes out of the draw for him to change into. Stiles had told him that he had bought him clothes, that what he had at the house wasn’t good enough for him. Derek wondered what was going to happen to his stuff, his house. There was nothing sentimental in it apart from his books – he had read each one over and over again and couldn’t face leaving them behind. The sweat pants and t-shirt Stiles had put out for him were soft on his skin – made more so after the fact he had been in the same clothes for weeks on end. Derek walked out to the living room and sat next to Stiles, taking a chance and cuddling up to his side, feet bent underneath him. Derek scoffed, this was so unlike him. He would never act like this – a bit of affection did wonders for him apparently. Stiles twisted so he lay a bit flatter on the couch and wrapped his arms around Derek’s shoulders, drawing him in as close as humanly possible. He had lit the fire and turned on the radio low, it was cosy. “Stiles?” “Yes pup?” “What’s….I mean…what’s going to happen to my place?” Stiles sighed, turning to face Derek. “I paid off your landlord, he was happy you decided to change up your life. Said you had seemed down for a while. We sold everything off but I told them to bring your books.” Derek was touched Stiles had thought of that detail. He paused before his next question. “And the pictures? Did they see the pictures?” Stiles nodded. “Yeah they did pup. They don’t judge you so you have nothing to worry about. Don’t you worry; I am sorting everything out for you.” Stiles shifted, leaning to get something from the table next to the couch. “You need to take your pills Derek, you need to sleep ok?” Derek didn’t even think, just took the pills and water Stiles offered them and knocked them back. Stiles ran his hand through his hair. “Good pup, let’s get you to bed.” Stiles led him to the room, carefully placing him under the covers as the pills started to take effect, making the man feel woozy. He barely felt Stiles climbing in beside him and wrap his arms around him. Derek hadn’t slept as well as he did since he was taken by the pack. Stiles kept away the nightmares and the visions.   +++   Derek woke up to a hand shaking his shoulder. Groaning, he tried to turn away from the menace to his sanity, noting the deep chuckle the other person gave at his actions. A weight rested on his upturned back as light kisses were placed onto the back of his neck. “Time to wake up pup, you need to take your medication to make you better. You take it now and I will let you snooze for a bit ok?” Derek groaned in reply but complied with the request. Stiles was only doing it for Derek’s own interests after all, how could he argue with that? Turning, Stiles helped the drowsy man to pop the medication in his mouth, peppering his face with kisses after he was happy he had swallowed them. “These morning pills may make you feel funny when you first take them. It’s why I want you to take them every morning so you are in bed when they make you feel bad. Last thing we want is for you to have an accident because you were silly and were out and about when they hit hmm? You will take these in the morning and another two at night. I will keep the pills and make sure you take them all the time. We don’t want those pesky visions coming back because you were ditzy and didn’t take them now do we? Dreaming about dead people, feeling inadequate, we don’t want that now so you must keep taking them. Remember the mess you were before you came here? We won’t let you go back to that pup, even if I need to force you.” Stiles pressed a hard kiss to Derek’s lips. “I only do it because I love you. Now I need to go out to do some business, walk around and get used to the house. Isaac and Danny are in today so they will help you with whatever you need. Be good pup.” He gave another kiss before he stood and left the room. Nobody had ever told him they loved him.   +++   He wanted to take Ochra out for a walk. He used to like doing it, it was his way of escape but – as he stood in front of the downstairs patio door – he couldn’t take the step forward to move outside. His breathing and heart rate increased with each step out of Stiles’ apartment but he knew he was on the verge of a panic attack at the thought of going outside, in the open where anyone could take him. Take him away from Stiles. So he stood at the door, dread starting to rise. He felt his vision starting to dull at the sides, everything closing in on him, his throat constricting. He struggled, feeling sweat staring to pool all over his body. He just wanted it to stop – to be normal. A hand on his shoulder snapped him out of his terror. He could feel the world coming back into focus bit by bit. “Hey man, you ok?” Danny asked, a small smile playing on his face. Derek just looked at him before looking down, face burning “I-I need to take her out b-but I….” Danny held up his hand. “Say no more man; I can take her out for you if you’re not up for going outside just yet.” Danny gently unfolded Derek’s hand from her lead. “You sure? I don’t want to be a bother” He waved his hand “Don’t sweat it. I like taking her out. Ethan and I use it as an excuse to get some private time together. We can take her out again tonight if you want?” Derek nodded, slowly starting to back away from the door. “Thanks” he murmured before turning and sprinting back upstairs, slamming the door behind him. He was pathetic.   +++   Derek was cocooned under his duvet on the couch when the front door closed to the apartment. Footsteps echoed as the person came closer, before there was a shuffling of the bedding as Stiles crawled in beside him, joining Derek in his nest. “Danny told me what happened today, tell me what you think.” It wasn’t phrased as a question. Stiles demanded an answer. “….I don’t know. I panicked when I left here and it got worse when I tried to go outside. I….I was so stupid Stiles, I acted like a child! I’m a grown ass man and I can’t even take a step outside without feeling like I’m about to die.” Stiles sighed, face set in a stern expression. “Pup I want you to listen very carefully to me. If you don’t feel comfortable going outside or even leaving this apartment you don’t have to. Nobody here will EVER make you do something you do not want to do. Your life….pup you have spent your whole life running and being scared and for the first time, you don’t have that because I have kept you safe. Haven’t I?” Derek nodded. “It’s understandable you don’t want to go back to how you were before – which you will if you re-enter the world. I know I would prefer you to stay inside, where I can protect you and I think deep down you want the same. So let’s forget about today, the guys love Ochra so have no problem taking over her outside duties and lets you and me remember what’s most important – us. Trust me; I have taken away all the bad things in your life so now everything you have. Have you ever heard that they best way to get what you want is by killing somebody with kindness?” He whispered, Derek shaking his head in a negative. “Let me show you then” Stiles whispered. Stiles moved his body closer to Derek, ghosting his lips over his neck. “I just want to make you happy.” Hands moved over and under his shirt, slowly turning Derek fully on his back, Stiles straddling his hips as he started to pull the shirt off his head. Derek shifted until the garment was removed, settling to watch stiles kiss and lick his chest before settling to nibble on his nipple. Derek struggled to hold in his moan, eliciting a groan when Stiles immediately stopped and sat up, thumbing his lips. “No pup, I want to hear you. Don’t you ever hold in your noises when you are with me. I want everybody to hear you. I am proud to call you mine.” Stiles dipped his head back to Derek’s chest, this time the man let out the notice which he had struggled to contain. He was already half hard, becoming full when Stiles moved to draw his sweat pants down – freeing him as he started to make his way down Derek’s body, whispering into his skin “You are perfect pup. I can’t wait to take you apart, feel your mouth on me. Others may have been inside you before me but I promise you I will be the last. One day I’m going to wake you up, my dick hard inside you, pounding into you. God pup, it’s going to be perfect. It’s a shame you weren’t unspoiled for me; that would have made it better.” Stiles licked up Derek’s cock at the end of his sentence before wrapping his mouth around it and applying a gentle suction. Derek felt guilt at what Stiles said but quickly pushed it to one side as he enjoyed the motion of Stiles moving up and down his shaft at a leisurely pace, hand wrapped around his base. Whenever he sped up his actions, his grip on the base tightened. It didn’t take long for Derek to start shifting – desperate to cum. Stiles just tightened his grip, stemming his release. He teased him further my circling his entrance with a dry finger – gently putting pressure on it driving him crazier. Stiles withdrew his mouth; grip just as tight as before. “Who do you belong to pup?” Derek breathed heavily. “You Stiles, god you please…pleaseIloveyouplease let me cum.” He begged, not taking note of the words he said but his heart lifted at the sunny smile Stiles gave him. Derek would do anything to make the man smile like that again. Stiles lowered his head and released his grip, Derek’s moan vibrating throughout the apartment. Spots appeared in his vision and the world tuned out for a while. When he came back to himself, Stiles was face to face with him. “I love you too pup.”   +++   Derek was relaxing in the bathtub. Stiles had told him to settle for a while as he went to see the rest of the family while Derek tried to sort his head out. When he thought back to his life pre-Stiles, he just remembered pain. He felt like his life used to be dull and grey – much like the Chicago skyline he saw everyday on the bus. Now – now his life was bright, colourful like the décor of his new home. There was still the remnants of…the aching he felt on a daily basis but now it just seemed as more of a background emotion rather than taking centre stage like it used to. He knew he had told Stiles he loved him but really, how did Derek know? It’s not like he grew up with the emotion and, thinking honestly, he doesn’t think he has ever felt it for anybody. He had a lot of emotions about his family – regret, indignant, mourning but love? No, no he never loved his family. He hated them too much to love them. They never believed in sheltering their children or mothering them. Derek’s first memory was his father looking over a line of women in their living room – all barely clothes with pale features. Even then, he didn’t know what was going on but knew it wasn’t good. Yes he loved Ochra but being in love was different. But what really was love? Was it caring for somebody? Stiles did; he cares enough to stop Derek from doing something harmful to himself, to make sure he takes his medication so Derek doesn’t have another re-lapse. Was it knowing somebody? Stiles knew Derek, knew his history, knew his interests and knew that Derek wasn’t capable of taking care of himself. Was it being over backwards to make someone happy? Stiles did make him happy. He changed his apartment for Derek, had given him time while he was out of action and had sat and talked to him. Was it keeping somebody safe? Stiles did. He kept him safe from the outside world and from himself. He took him away and secluded him so nobody could harm him and he regulated Derek so he wouldn’t harm himself. Was it always being there for somebody and being understanding? Stiles didn’t judge him because Derek struggled to go outside, because he was so pathetic he didn’t want to leave his sanctuary. If anything, Stiles supported him. Told him he wasn’t keen on Derek going outside in case something happened to him. It was understandable really, with what the pack were involved in there must be some paranoia that things they care about could be harmed. It just showed how much Stiles really did feel for him. Was it still doing all that for a person despite their failings in life? Stiles knew what he had done to survive and Derek knew Stiles was disappointed in him deep down – but still he wanted him. He knew Derek wasn’t the most stable person but still helped him. Stiles had protected him before he had even gotten to know him by removing the biggest threat to Derek’s safety: Peter. Derek may be five sheets to insanity but he wasn’t stupid, he knew Stiles was the one being Peter but he couldn’t find it in him to be scared. If anything he felt gratitude, the Stiles had been the one to take care of the biggest monster in his life – like a knight in shining armour. That had to be love didn’t it? Derek smiled. He did. He was in love with him. Derek jumped out the bath, draining it while wrapping a towel around his waist before quickly walking into the living room, hoping to find Stiles had come back. His heart slightly dropped when he realised he hadn’t finished his business yet but decided to pull on his pants and get over it. Stiles had done a lot of the man and he hadn’t done anything to thank him. Steeling himself, he walked into the kitchen, deciding to make his…everything a meal for when he came back. The pasta dish was almost finished by the time Stiles came back. “Smells nice pup, I can get used to this – you welcoming me home with a cooked meal and half naked.” Stiles walked up behind Derek, wrapping his arms around his waist and settling his chin on his shoulder. His hands started the stroke lower, turning to whisper into Derek’s ear “You know what would make it better?” Derek shook his head, shivering when Stiles removed the towel, letting it drop to the floor. “You welcoming me home naked. I like to see what’s mine. All of it.” Stiles gave his cock a stroke before he backed off and walked into their bedroom. Derek checked the food before he followed the man into the room, watching him from the doorway as Stiles got changed. “Thank you” Stiles turned to face the man when he had changed into a pair of jeans, leaving his top half bare. “Don’t thank me. I do everything because you need it, because I love you. I want you around for a long time pup, can’t do that if you keep living your life the way you have been. I don’t mind keeping you here; I don’t mind taking responsibility for you or paying for you. I just want you to be honest with me and don’t lie to me. So I will be honest with you, do you want to be here? If not we will take you home, you will never have to see us again...” “NO!” Derek was surprised by his own intensity but if the thought of going outside made him ache, the thought of leaving Stiles broke his heart. “NO I DON’T WANT TO GO! I love you; I want to stay with you.” Stiles smiled as he walked up to Derek, taking his shoulder into his hands. “Ok. Then if you are going to stay pup, I want you to do what I say. I love you just as much as you do me so I want to make sure you are good. Now I would like us to go and eat the lovely meal you prepared for me and then you can show me how much you want to stay ok?” Derek nodded; he would do whatever he could to make sure he could stay.   +++   Every morning, Stiles woke Derek up to take his medication then left for work. Derek spent his days in the apartment, mixing his time between cleaning, cooking and reading with Ochra curled into his side. Before he had become disillusioned with the monotony his working life had but now, now he relished in it. He had no worries anymore apart from keeping Stiles happy and that suited him fine. The nightmares had gone along with the visions like the man promised and Derek slept like a baby every night. He felt…happy for the first time he could remember. Stiles told him this was normal, in fact it was to be expected with all he had done for him. Derek didn’t really associate with the rest of the family – he wasn’t keen on leaving the apartment but whenever they did see each other the pack always treated him like family. When Stiles came in from work they ate, made love and just hung out. Stiles liked it when Derek would read to him – said he could concentrate better on Derek’s voice then the words on a page. Derek had worried at the start that Stiles would tire of him because really, he had nothing to offer him. When he voiced his concerns, Stiles told him that Derek being obedient and waiting for him at home was all he wanted. He liked knowing his precious pearl was at home, safe for his eyes only. It warmed him up inside: knowing that finally somebody treasured him like he was priceless. Today however was the first time there was a break in their routine. As he was getting ready for work Stiles had specifically told Derek to leave cooking that night – that he had a present for him. Derek liked Stiles presents – another token of his affections. This time, when Stiles came into the apartment Derek was dressed in clothes to greet him with a gentle kiss which soon descended into a more passionate meeting – hands clutching and stroking until Stiles pulled away. “Oh pup, what you do to me. But enough for now, I have something to show you.” Stiles held Derek’s hand, Derek following blindly until he realised Stiles was trying to lead him out the apartment. Derek stopped suddenly, also bring Stiles to a jerking stop causing the man to turn around and fix him with a stern look. “Derek. We are having a nice day so don’t ruin it with your attitude. I don’t like it when you play up and you know it makes me angry. After everything I would have thought you would trust me by now, I guess not.” Derek flinched. He didn’t like it when Stiles got angry at him. It had happened a few times, Derek doing or saying something stupid which Stiles got angry and upset about. Derek was thankful the man never got violent but rather just glared at him – asking why he would do these things when Stiles had given him everything. When things were really bad, Stiles voiced his thoughts that Derek didn’t really love him and was just using him. Derek would spend days trying to make it up to his lover, guilt consuming him. Those were the worst times. He didn’t want to ruin things after Stiles had gone to so much effort to make him happy. Derek walked up to him and gave him a peck on the lips. “I’m sorry, I’m just being stupid. Forgive me?” Stiles answered with a rough, hard kiss – breathing an “always” into Derek’s mouth before he pulled back and continued to walk. This time Derek followed without complaint. His face turned to confusion as Stiles led him down the stairs into the main foyer before taking a left and opening another door. This door had another set of stairs beyond it, descending further down into the ground. Stiles stood to the side so Derek could see the dimly lit space the stairs sloped into. At the nod of Stiles head, Derek started to make his way down, eyes slowly adjusting to the lack of light – feeling the other man’s presence behind him as he closed the door after the couple and followed. Once they came to the bottom, Derek jumped when he felt Stiles arms wrap around his waist – his face snuggling into his neck. “You know I would do anything for you yeah? Anything to protect you?” Derek nodded; feeling Stiles smile at his answer as the man gently moved him so he walked forwards, arms never leaving his waist. They walked towards a faint light which emitted from something around a corner, Stiles still guiding him towards the light and around a corner where he came face to face with a large metal grate which covered the whole of the back wall. The light was faint spot lights which were set to focus on the bloodied figure hanging from the grate by a set of chains attached to their wrists, feet only just touching the floor. Stiles squeezed his waist, turning his head so his lips touched Derek’s ear as Derek just stared in shock. “Pup do you know what they call me on the street?” Derek nodded, swallowing noisily before he answered in a slight whisper – watching as the figure slightly twitched at the new presence in the room. “The trickster wolf.” Stiles muttered good pup, tracing his lips up and down Derek’s neck, pressing light kisses into the raised flesh. “Do you know why?” Derek didn’t. “Trickster because nothing ever is what it seems. I like to play games pup, see how far I can take things, how much I can fool people, make them see and believe things which is just a figment of their imagination. You wouldn’t believe how easy it is to plant things into people’s minds, with the end game of getting what I want.” A sharp bite into Derek’s neck interrupted his monologue. “A wolf because I am territorial about things which I consider to be mine. See I’m very much a sufferer of only-child syndrome. I don’t like to share, even things like toys which I long ago lost interest in I cannot seem to let other people play with. It’s much worse with toys which are a….a more recent acquisition. Do you see? I don’t like people who damage what is my property.” Stiles walked them further into the room and closer to the figure until Derek could properly see their features, could smell the metallic tinge of blood and see the sweat falling down their face. Stiles licked the area where he had delivered the bite “I don’t like people who break my things. They have to pay for it so they learn not to do it again. So others learn the same rule. Mr Whittemore here knew fine well you were mine and yet he still broke you pup. You would have thought he would have learnt after what happened to poor Mr Greenburg but I find, with entitled people like Mr Whittemore, the lesson needs to be a tad more permanent so he doesn’t come after what’s mine again.” Stiles arms tightened further to the point it was beginning to hurt, where Derek couldn’t get away even if he wanted to. “This is the man who drove you to try and put a bullet into your head pup. Who ruined everything for you and would do it again and again. He has already poisoned a whole town against you, god forbid he do it to me and our family. And he could you know? People like him are snakes; venomous to everyone he comes into contact with. He already tried it with me. Tried to turn me against you, get me to hand you over to him so he could use you, just like how Peter wanted to. Luckily I love you so much I couldn’t ever fall for his lies. What kind of person would I be if I let that threat to you continue hmm? Don’t you see? We need to protect him from people who he can infect and I need to protect you. This is how much I love you Derek, enough to remove any threat to you by any means necessary. This is all for you, everything I do is for you. You are my ultimate prize. Now let’s go, I don’t want you near this waste any longer then you have to, you are too good to breathe the same air.” Derek knew he should feel guilt – he wasn’t blinded enough to not know Jackson was as good as dead but…maybe Stiles was right. Jackson wasn’t nice, he didn’t have a good bone in his body, removing him would protect the people he would hurt in the future. They were doing the right thing. Derek walked back to the apartment, Stiles walking behind him. He didn’t see the sinister smile and ominous wink Stiles sent to Scott from the latter’s hiding place. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!