Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/8293376. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: F/F Fandom: Clarkwood_-_Fandom Relationship: Clarkwood, Kelly/Carrie Character: Kelly, Carrie Additional Tags: I've_decided_against_changing_the_ship-_so_here_it_is_guys..., Also_I might_go_back_and_rewrite_some_of_these_chapters_and_fix_them, Can_you believe_I've_been_working_on_this_story_for_like_5_years?, There_Will_Be Sin, Expect_it...._prep_for_it, Smut, slow_burn?, Best_Friends_to_Lovers Series: Part 1 of Road_Trip Stats: Published: 2017-04-05 Chapters: 10/22 Words: 15857 ****** Road Trip ****** by Ink_Splattered_Author Summary Everything is about to change. Notes Part 1 of a 3 piece series... This work was inspired by Roadtrip by ChrizChivas/MrsClarkwood ***** Introduction ***** How - funny (for lack of a better word,) life seems at times. How we come back to things once forgotten between lines. Sometimes they're even found in the street lines where we chased dust trails until all we could catch up with was impatience and grief and leaving us no choice but to call it quits. Things such as little books of locks and keys. Acrylic paints. And notes of remedies. Little snap shot documents of proof that we exist in these, collapsing, man- made time fragments. Things handed to us at some time and place to make tools out of for filling voids within us. I thought about telling Carrie about my need for proof that we're not the fractured slices of particles that life has been making us feel like. But I don't know if she would understand. Hell I barely understand it myself. And I'm not quite ready yet to explain. I haven't even told her why I quit my job. Because- like, what if all of this is for nothing?  For peace. For love. And applesauce, Kelly. June 13th, 2000   --------------------------------------------------------------- Graduation Day! 13 June, 2000 Dear whatever you are, Personally, I feel this whole diary/journal business is rather silly. However, for reasons beyond me, Kel really wanted us to do this. And she never asks for anything like this. So who am I to tell her no? I mean I suppose it could be worth giving this a real try. Especially after all the work she did to save up and give me this fancy journal. I lack any understanding as to how the physical documentation of my thoughts will be fun to do. I do, on the other hand, keep getting this notion, deep in my stomach, almost like something is trying to tell me that so much is about to happen.  So for now, here we are- for her sake. I'm not sure what, but something about her has changed. Or maybe it's that something within her is finally reaching the surface. And no matter how many times I have tried to bring it up, she does what she is truly good at, rambling her way out of it. Whatever it is though, I hope that it brings her happiness. She deserves happiness of her own. Especially since I've found mine. With love, Carrie   Carrie locked the leather journal, and slipped it into her suitcase before zipping it closed. She grabbed her white gown from the hanger on her bedroom door, and the tasseled hat off the corner of the desk. With a sorrowful sigh, her mentality turned to nostalgia. Seventeen years of what she could remember filling her to the core. They were warmer than she expected. Bringing soft tears to the glittered corners of her hazel-blue eyes. As well as curves upon the edges of her, softly glossed, pink lips. The bubbly blonde's gaze swept the room once more before she slowly she turned her back to it. Gently she closed the door, daring herself to not look back as she walked forward, ready for whatever it was awaiting her. ***** The Beginning ***** Ohmigawd!!! I totally screwed up my speech!! It was slightly Kel's fault! I was nervous! So nervous, I figured if I found someone in the crowed to focus on, maybe it'll help. I thought KellBell was my safe bet. Ohhhh boy, was I wrong. She was goofing off, making faces and stuff. And then when she saw I was watching she did that stupid wink. Then she started to smile, and when I began to stutter and stumble, she started to mouth jokes, forcing me to laugh. UGH!! I swear, I don't know what to do with that woman sometimes. I should of known better then to think she would have taken grad seriously... Although, I will admit, it was pretty funny at the same time. She'll never let me live this one down, I just know it. Not even if I gave her the world and all it's fortunes. Haha. Look at me. I can't even stay mad at her. She was only trying to help, this much I know. But good gawd, that was the most embarrassing moment of my life... I can only hope that no one was actually recording that. Anyways, Kelly decided to take me for a quick dinner before my grad party to make up for it, and apologize. It was rather interesting to say the least. - Carrie. [June 13th, 2000]   --------------------------------------------------------------- "You want me to do what?!!" Carrie choked back on her drink as Kel's suggestion took her completely off guard. "Take an adventure with me Carebear. Come on!!" Kelly pleaded. "You're crazy Kelly!! I can't just up and hit the road with you!! What about school?!" Carrie gave her a pointed look. "School's not until September, you don't have to be there until the beginning of September. That's plenty of time!" Her Texan accent was thick, and the tone of Kelly's voice was a slap in the face to Care as to get a grip. Carrie growled a sigh of frustration. "You cannot just up and go on some fantasy field trip on a whim Kell!! Have you even thought it through?" She snapped at her best friend. "I have thought it through. I have the money, you have the car that's big enough for us both, unlike my tiny piece of crap, I even have the skills to fix the car if anything were to happen, like I have before. I mean... come on Carrie. Stop walking around with a stick up yer rump and have fun for once!" Uh-oh. That did it. Kelly could tell by the look in Carrie's eyes that she pissed her off. She was waiting for Carrie to go off at her but instead she watched her best friend spring from the table and take off. Chasing after her, she ran after the blonde beauty all the way into the parking lot. And Kelly was left dazzled how Carrie could walk so fast in those heels and that tight dress. "Come on Boo. Don't be like that!" Cold shoulder. Kelly sighed and kicked up her shoes and picked up her pace finally getting close enough to grab Care by the arm. "Let go Clarkson!" She snapped, ripping her arm from KC's grip. Kel put her hands up in defeat. "Carrie." She spoke more softly. "Just hear me out. Please." She bit her lip, and lowered her hands into her pockets, her hazel gems finding a rock on the asphalt beside her sneaker, giving her a little distraction to play with. "I'm sorry. I just... I want to spend time with you. It's our last summer together Carebear. Who knows when I'll get to see you again. And you can't say you'll see me on the holiday's. It's Harvard. Besides, I could be in Europe, or in LA, god forbid, or who knows where. And with your way I'll never get time with you. At least this way... all I get is time with you. Just you and me, a map, and a car. What's so bad about that?" She held back the urge to cry as she watched Carrie turn around. The anger on her face had finally gone. "Nothing wrong with wanting that Poohbear. It's just so last minute. You know me. You know how stupid I think doing things on a whim is. I'll figure something out. I promise! There's no way I'd leave this forsaken town without saying goodbye to you." She leaned in to tuck Kelly's hair behind her ear but was met with denial as Kel stepped back. "It's not stupid. And don't tell me goodbye. That means I'll never get to see you again." Carrie let out a deep breath, and wrapped her arms around her chest. Swallowing hard, she looked down, and closed her eyes only for a moment before speaking, "It's only for a little while. Time to be adults Kel. Sometimes, being an adult means not getting exactly what you want." She looked up to see KC shaking her head. "No, to you it means accepting what you don't want. To me it means finally taking that chance to be everything I dreamed of." She tilted her head up just a little, then turned around and walked away from Carrie.   --------------------------------------------------------------- Maybe it was for the best. Maybe she was right. I ended up thinking a lot that night on my walk home. Especially all of those cliche sayings, like if you love something let it go because it'll come back, or um, what's that other one, absence makes the heart grow fonder or something. I don't know. I wish I knew why this is bothering me so much. I guess I just believe that, there's so much in this world. And so little breath to spend, that, if you have the chance you should take it. If you spend your whole life being serious... then what are you living for? No one likes a robot. I guess I figured, some of these things in my life should just be done with my best friend by my side... shouldn't they? I'm well aware this whole thing doesn't make sense... and it's only because nothing in my head is making sense. I have questions with no answers... and answers that I didn't even know I had a question to. Well like I said. Maybe this is all for the best. And maybe she is right. For now, I won't know until I leave. If I know anything at all though, it's that she won't ever let me live this day down. Solo road trip here I come. - Kelly [June 13th 14th, 2000. -I forgot it was 1am.]   ---------------------------------------------------------------   That morning Kelly gave her mom a kiss on the cheek goodbye, and a tight hug. She didn't know when she'd be back, so she wanted to cover all her bases. With her guitar and bags in the back, and a cooler all set with liquids and snacks. She gave herself a quick pat and ran over her check list before finally getting in the car. A deep breathe took over her, relaxing her against the seat, she closed her eyes and just sat there in the front seat, clearing her mind of everything. Just as she was about to take one last breath she heard the car door open, jerking to her right, eyes widened with shock as she saw who stole the seat next to her. "Look. You were right. I just didn't approve of the insult. But most importantly, you need to be careful when taking such big risks. It's not that I didn't want to go. I just... was taken off guard." Carrie looked to Kel, biting down upon her bubble gum flavored lip. "You're right. But sometimes, you just have to take those risks. Or you're not living." She placed her hands on the steering wheel, her eyes meeting Carrie's. "Which is why I'm here now. But if we don't get going, I might actually regain my brain and leave." She smiled at the fact that she finally made Kel laugh. "Well did you pack anything." She nodded "It's at home though." Sighing, Kelly shook her head chuckling. "What? My only intentions were to catch you, even if that meant I left here with nothing." Kelly smiled. "Well let's get this show on the road then." She started the engine, and slowly backed out, and made her way to Carrie's house. "Also, let's take my car. God knows it's bigger." Kelly lowered her head. "Damn cotton candymobile." She started to laugh, feeling Carebear hit her. "Be nice!" But she couldn't stop laughing. "I'm sorry Carebear, but that car was made for Barbie!" She teased. "Just you wait Poohbear. One of these days. I'll get you back for that. Just you wait." She saw Care point at her from the corner of her eye as she regained focus on the road. "Okay, sure, we'll go with that Care." She felt Carrie's glare ease into her, a blush rising upon her cheeks. "Fine! But we take turns driving." She caved. "Deal!" Carrie squealed in excitement. Kel's stomach filled with tingles and odd feelings, she didn't know what. But, she felt like something was about to happen. ***** Dorks & S'mores ***** Chapter Notes This was actually the very first chapter I wrote, and the scene that inspired the entire fic.... I keep telling myself that I am crazy, or that I must be dreaming. For this whole thing is just so... crazy, too... fairy tale like to be real. I mean, I literally just gave up everything to go on a road trip with a girl. Okay, well not just ANY girl. I gave it up for Kelly. But still... That's packing time, and family time, and time with other friends and oh who the hell am I kidding, it's Kelly. Clearly, I'd give up everything for her. She's my best friend... and between us... I just never realized just how much I would give up for her. At least, not until now. I'm just, I've never been the type to just go out on a whim and do something, not without a destination, and plans and things. I like my organization... and Kelly... well?? She's an unorganized mess. Haha. No doubt she has a plan though. And I'm having fun so far. Kelly made this wicked mix tape-CD of our favorite summer-like jams, we've told goofy stories, and laughed. The pit stop was fun. We're only a few hours in and already, it's the greatest thing that's ever happened since... well since I met Kel. I really hope that this isn't just a dream. I don't really know what it was, but as soon as I got home last night, all I did was pack, and not pack for school, but pack for this trip. A part of it was instinct, I'll admit, for no matter how mad I was at her, it scared the shit out of me thinking about Kelly going all over the place without anyone with her... I mean... what if she got hurt or something? And then the other part of me... the really big part of me, was the part that she was right about... I don't want to think about it... I hate thinking about it... but it's all that's been on my mind... what's got me so on edge... what if I never get to see her again? -Carrie [June 14th, 2000]   --------------------------------------------------------------- It was seven hours in, and already the girls had made a pit stop, and paid a toll. They stormed through Oklahoma, stopping a rest stop to mainly enjoy the scenery, take pictures, and even right a little. Once they hit the Kansas border they changed spots. It was Carrie's turn to take the wheel. She decided since they were in no rush, it'd be better to take the back roads and such. As much as she loved the city, she knew Kel didn't. It was beautiful. The sun was starting to set, filling the blue sky with pinks and oranges, each reflecting lavender shades of purple off the white fluffy clouds. The air got cooler, and a light breeze danced through the crops of the farms and ranches on every side of her. She could see why Kelly loved the country so much. It was so serene, so beautiful. Actually, it was rather romantic, as Carrie discovered. The thought caused her to chuckle real softly, as to not wake the now sleeping woman beside her. She never thought Kelly to be the romantic type. But then again neither of them had ever really dated anyone, so it's not like that was ever something that came up.   --------------------------------------------------------------- Dude!! Fresh air!!! God I love the country. I don't see how so many people hate it? It's just so beautiful. I can't believe Carebear changed her mind. I wonder why? I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm thankful. So very thankful. But that's just not like her. She also doesn't seem mad anymore either. Plus she's sort of being weird... well, weirder then her usual weird. I don't how to describe it. But it's like she's nervous or something. Iunno, anxious maybe? Maybe the trip wasn't the best idea after all... she's never really been wrong. I really hope it wasn't though. I'd hate to see her jump for the first time to only find out she was right about taking risks on a whim. Lord, I'm so tired. I didn't get much sleep. That was kind of my fault I suppose for staying out so late, and then deciding to leave so early. I'm glad we switched off though. Because I seriously need a nap. Don't tell her, but, I nearly wanted to cry with joy when I saw her in my car. - Kelly. [P.S. This entry wins "The Most Boring Diary" Award. [June 14th, 2000]   --------------------------------------------------------------- It was strange to realize that out of all the years she had known her best friend, so many things were still very much a mystery. And as much as she liked that, the idea of always being taken by surprise, she also hated that she didn't know her best friend as much as she should. The air was fresh, and crisp. It was enough for Care to take in a deep breath. She let down her hair, and slowed down the car, allowing the breeze to fill the empty spaces of her platinum locks. Mirror to mirror, Carrie's hazel eyes scanned each one carefully. Time and time again, however, they frequently caught glimpses of the sleeping beauty beside her. A smile enchanted Carrie's lush lips, it amazed her how Kel could sleep absolutely anywhere, and through nearly everything. Actually, she envied that gift of Kel's. All the things she would give up to sleep like that for once. She looked so at peace. Not to say Kelly wasn't always calm and relaxed, for she was. Just that, she could tell, whatever it was Kel was dreaming of, it was bringing her so much happiness. It gave her this state of peace, of bliss, and it was something she hadn't seen on Kel's face in a very long time.   --------------------------------------------------------------- Maybe this whole thing was a good idea! She's happy. She's genuinely happy. Even in her sleep. I miss that smile. She obviously wasn't aware of it. But whatever that dream was, it made her smile. Haha. I don't know why I am making such a big deal over this. I guess it just really makes me happy to see the old her again. The Kelly I love. Not that I don't love this Kelly, I do. Very much. It's just that spark. That little spark deep within her. It's been gone for so long. I think it's finally coming back. And man, would get a load of this place? Back roads were definitely a good idea. I just wish Kel stayed up long enough to catch that sunset. Ohh it was so beautiful and romantic. I can see why she refuses to live in a city. We sure don't get sunsets like those. Strangely enough though, I never took her as the romantic kind. But then again, Kel's never dated. [I wish I knew why, I mean look at her!] I think she kissed someone once on a dare or something. Guess because of it, it never really seemed important. It makes sense though, you know? I mean something had to have inspire all that creativity within her, if it wasn't because of a romantic interest. I'm so happy I came. I feel like if I didn't, I would have made the biggest mistake of my life. - Carrie. [June 14th, 2000]   --------------------------------------------------------------- Darkness hit as asphalt became gravel forcing a not so pretty word from such a pretty girl. Between the shaking from the small ditches, the profanity, the dust and the rocks the old convertible was kicking up, Kelly had a woken from her slumber. "Shit." Carrie continued to curse under her breath. "Where are we?" Kel had grabbed onto the door for stability and slightly for safety. "We're not in Kansas anymore Toto, that's for sure." She bit her lip, and held her snickers in, hearing the frustration in Care's joke. "Ow!" She jumped, feeling the sting of a rock hitting her before her eyes shot to the driver. "Some where in Iowa. We hit a dirt road, just hold on." But before Carrie could shift gears, a large bang rattled through the hood resulting in smoke and a few seconds of rattles before the car came to a complete stop. "Great."Carrie grumbled sitting back, and unbuckling her seat belt. "Hold up." Kelly unbuckled herself and jumped out of the car. "Pop it for me." She groaned, reaching into the back and grabbing a flashlight from her bag. Doing as she was told, Carrie popped the hood, and walked up beside Kelly, hugging herself to keep warm. "Can you fix it?" Kelly couldn't tell if Carrie was scared or just concerned by the tone in her voice. She wanted to comfort her, but now was not the right time. "I can't tell. It's too dark, and I don't know where it's coming from." She heard the blonde sigh, "hey no worries okay." Kel quickly looked up and placed her hand on the woman's lower back, pulling her into a hug. She felt Carries bare arms wrap around her neck, and gently squeeze. Carrie nuzzled her face into Kel's shoulder and released another deep breathe. "It's fine. It was probably a rock, we'll get it fixed in the morning okay? Until then I need to figure out how far we are from a rest point, so I can push it." Her hands slowly rubbed up and down Carrie's back in comfort. She felt a nod, and a kiss on her shoulder, before Carrie pulled back and let their eyes meet. "Okay. There's a map in the glove box." kelly nodded and squeeze Carebear's hands before letting go.   --------------------------------------------------------------- I feel bad. That car is her baby. Even if it does look like it belongs to Barbie... it's just so... you know... fluffy... and... yeah. After figuring out where we were, I was able to locate a rest stop about 5 minutes from here. That was the easy part. I'm gunna have to push this car by myself to get to it, while Carrie sits in the front seat steering. It's completely dead. I think a rock shot through something. Here's to hoping I don’t become dinner or breakfast to the local wildlife. Anyways, I'm gunna try and make it up to her. Or at least make her smile. It kills me to see her so bummed out over a car. I think I can fix it though. But I need to check it out when there's enough light. Well, time to get this show on the road once more before it gets too late. - Kelly [ June, 15th???, 2000]   --------------------------------------------------------------- "Is it the fifteenth or the fourteenth Carebear?" she hollered as she pushed the car. "Why does that matter?" She question, wondering how much dust Kelly inhaled. "Because I was sleeping, I lost track of the... rrrr... track of the time." She groaned as the convertible hit another ditch. "Sorry." Carrie squealed hearing the groans. "And I have no idea. Sorry Poohbear." She peered into her rear view mirror, watching Kelly. She couldn't believe how easy she made it look, though the groans and sweat were telling her other wise. It was like the car, plus all of her weight totaled nothing. "You doing okay back there?" She now looked over her shoulder. "Yep. Keep your eyes on the road darlin'. Don't need ya steerin' us off road." She chuckled then looked down as Carrie looked forward. "Oo oo oo right right right, turn right!!" She lightly pounded the car with an opening hand while coming out of her daze as she realized the rest top was right there. Despite the sharp turn, and be taken of guard by Kelly's pounding, she successfully pulled in and parked. Carrie's head met the steering wheel, and Kelly's back met the trunk, as both girls started to burst into laughter. "That wasn't hard at all." Kel joked as she heard the car door slam shut. "Right!? Pft, we got this" She looked over as Carrie leaned beside her, keeping herself prompt up by her elbow, Kelly felt her lips curve into a smile as she watched Carrie smirk, and look down at her. She nodded, lightly, and pushed herself up a little. Carrie leaned in, her eyes glued to Kelly's as the moon above them reflected within them, it was like her eyes were sparkling. She licked her bottom lip and drew it, lightly biting down on it, she was so close she could feel Kelly inhale her deep breath. "I..." Kelly broke the silence as well as the eye contact as she zoned herself back into the now. "I have a treat for us!" she finished, quickly getting up and grabbing her bag from the back seat. "Come on!" She waved Carrie to follow her as she looked around, noticing they were the only ones here. She brought her sack over the marble like table and started removing some of the contents from it. Carrie sighed, and looked down for a moment before following Kelly, her arms hugged around her once more and she shook her bangs from her face, tilting her head in confusion while she made her way to the table. Raising a brow, she turned to Kel. "What?" Kelly asked while looking down at the lighter, the marshmallows, chocolate and the graham crackers. "What are you doing." The bubbly blond asked her best friend, giving her a look only she could get away with."Makin' ghetto s'mores!" Clarkson smiled. "Get it? Ghetto s'mores? Because I only have a lighter?" She tried to laugh the awkwardness off and failed miserably as the only reaction from the standing woman was a blink. "What's a s'more?" Carrie asked looking back at the table then to the brunette in front of her. "Oh tell me you are kidding?" Care shook her head and just stared at Kel. "What kind of an American are you? Better yet... what kind of country girl are you!?" She laughed "Here, hold these!" she said handing Carrie to halves of a whole graham cracker. She watched Kelly put two pieces from the bar of chocolate, on one of them and sat next to her as she used the lighter to heat the marshmallow on the tooth pick up. "Okay give me the other end." Kelly asked pointing to the graham cracker. She took it and chuckled watching Carrie make a grossed out face as she squished it down and pulled the tooth pick out. "Try it before making that face." But she continued. So Kelly grabbed it, taking the fist bite, and tilting her head back in hopes not get marshmallow everywhere. Laughing she placed he hand under the s'more and brought her to Carrie's lips. "Just a bite, I promise it's really good." Carrie leaned in, then hesitated, biting down on her lip and looking to Kelly, who only egged her on. She closed her eyes and bit down, feeling the warm chocolate and marshmallow touch her lips. A smile perched, and she opened her eyes, where she found Kel's finger by her lips, covered in marshmallow and chocolate. Without thinking, Care, sucked it off and kept eye contact with Kel, who smirked. "Told you. See what you were missing out on?" Carrie's smile grew as she nodded to reassure Kel that she was right.   --------------------------------------------------------------- Oh yeah. I definitely saw what I was missing alright. I wish I could explain what happened, but to be honest, I don't know what just happened... I'm not... am I? -Carrie [ June 15th, 2000] ***** The Morning After ***** kay, this is not the kind of car you want to sleep in... from now on, I'm getting us a room, even if it means I'm pushing this hunk of cotton candy an hour there. Lord, I have something stabbing me in the back, the leather sticking to my skin, and lack of leg room, top it all off, some how Carrie's curled up on top of me, originally she was sleeping in the front seat... I don't even remember her coming back to lay with me, but sure enough here she is on top of me, clung close to me. Maybe she had a nightmare. Or got cold. Sadly though, I now have to wake her up to work on the car, instead of sneaking out of the car, there is no way now to go without moving and waking her completely.... shit. Hmm, she's so beautiful when she sleeps, so at peace, and loose, and untangled from the thread of reality. If only her mind and spirit could be at this peace all the time. - Kelly [June 15th, 2000]   --------------------------------------------------------------- Kelly's fingers slowly threaded, and stroked through Carrie's golden locks that were left out of her hairband. Her hair was so silky and soft. Her massaging hand slowly made it's way down to the middle of her back, the tips of her fingers lightly, in a brush like manner, stroke up and down Care's spine as if almost to comfort her. She felt the heavy breathing of the blonde's slumber lift the petite woman up and down gently. The Texan's breath caught in her chest as she felt the young blonde snuggle closer and rest her head on her chest. However what Kelly couldn't see, was the smile that curled upon Carrie's lips in content. A soft moan of comfort left the sleeping girls lips as she settled once again, on her human body pillow. Her fingers curled, grabbing the side of Kel's sweatshirt, causing the blonde to startle awake and quickly sit up, slightly crushing the her best friend beneath her. "OH MY GOSH, KELLY I'M SORRY!!" She squealed, shocked at her realization. "It's cool, I never had you pegged for the clingy-cuddle type though." She winced as she pulled her legs from under Carrie and sat up, the pain from the awkward position shooting up her back. "Neither did I" she mumbled under her breath. "What?" Kel's eyes shot up at her. "Nothing! I'm guessing by the look on your face, you didn't sleep too well." Care bit her lip, feeling a bit bad. "I slept alright, I've had better, I've had worse." The blue eyed beauty shook her head and giggled as she reached for the map in the front seat. "I don't know about you sometimes." All Kelly did was stretch her hands forward in the direction of her feet and smiled cutely as she tilted her head. Her short hair a bit of a static mess. The site of the Texan made Carrie laugh. She was precious. A dork. But precious. "So, what's the game plan?" Kelly bite her lip and bounced a little. "I never had you pegged as a morning person." Carrie shook her head as she opened the map. "I'm not, I just chugged down a red bull while you were sleeping." Carrie looked up and around them in search of a sign, unable to remember the name of the rest stop. "That explains so much." She never looked up, especially after she started to feel the car move up and down. "You know, if you have to go..." but before she could finish it, Kelly flew out of the convertible, and made her way to the bathrooms, causing Carrie to shake her head.   --------------------------------------------------------------- We fell asleep under the stars. The top down, a light breeze. We were joking around, and just having a good time. I don't even remember falling asleep. I just remember feeling safe. I remember wishing upon the shooting star, but not even looking at it. I remember all the laughs, and those feelings in the pit of my stomach. Some how, this piece of junk on wheels, ended up being the blessing. Or what happened never would of happened... what exactly was it that happened? I do hope she doesn't mind that I came back there with her... all the weird sounds were giving me nightmares. - Carrie [P.S. Are the dates really that important? June 15th, 2000]   --------------------------------------------------------------- "So!? What's the game plan?" Kelly clapped her hands and rubbed them as she bit down on her lip, giving Carrie a hopeful look. "Why must I be the one to come up with a game plan." She raised a brow. "Because you're the Harvard nerd with the map!" Carrie looked down at the map then back at her bestie. "Your point?" She tilted her head. "You're the nerd with the map, now what's the game plan?" She smiled her best fake innocent smile, the one she knew Carrie always saw right through. "Mhmmm. Lucky for you I actually have one. A gas station is a few blocks up. We can push it up there and call for a tow." She folded the map and stuck it in the glove box before grabbing her back pack. "Cool... where are you going?" Kelly's hands parted in a half shrug of confusion as the girl got out of the car. "You're not the only one with a bladder Clarkson." ***** Her Sweatshirt ***** "So?" Kelly awkwardly asked as she pushed the car down the vacant road. "So?" Carrie mimicked. "Was there a reason you came into the back and used me as a bed?" Kelly giggled. Carrie blushed, glad Kelly wasn't there in front with her to see it. "I heard growls and howling" she softly confessed. "Oh... Had a nightmare aye?" Kelly softly replied in understanding. "Yeah... but I think your snoring scared the animals away!" She laughed, easing the seriousness. "Hehe Yea-HEYYY!!!" The Texan then pouted, sparking more giggles from the driver as she peaked in the rear view mirror. "What?! You know you snore!" Carrie wiggled her nose. "I do not!!" Kelly gasped in defense. "Do too!" Carrie teased before bursting into a giggle fit as Kelly stuck her tongue out. "So nerd! How far did you say this gas station was?" Kelly looked around at the vacant, dry lands surrounding them. "Oh, just a few blocks up." She focused back on the road ahead. "Mhmm, and exactly how many is a few? Two? Three?" But all Care did was smirk. "No, seriously, how many is a few?!" She shrugged and chuckled. "Boo, how many is a few?!!" --------------------------------------------------------------- "You... are so.... lucky.... you're.... cute!" Kelly rested her back against the car, panting to catch her breath. "Aww, yes, because my cuteness is the fault for you laying on the back of the car out of breath." She giggled and gave Kel a wink as she walked by and playfully slapped Kelly's shoulder. Kelly bite her lip, and smirked as her eyes wandered over Carrie. Care turned around to look back, catching Kelly's eyes and smiling before looking away. A blush pierced Kelly's cheeks as she looked down and got up off the car, following behind the bubbly blonde and biting her lip as she lightly shook her head.   --------------------------------------------------------------- The mechanic confirmed my theory of the rock, that's the good part... the bad part, we might have to wait a day or two until the piece we need comes in, for they were out and had to call it in. So I took a walk, leaving Care with the car and paper work. I knew she'd be okay, but I also knew we'd need a place to sleep. I found this cozy little inn, and booked us a room. This town is so small, it's like a pit stop on Route 66 or a Ghost Town, with people. Okay, that made no sense, but you know what I meant. Bright side, I saw this ranch on the way over, that's where I'm headed now to not only check out the horses but talk to owner too. I have an idea. -Kelly June 15th, 2000 ---------------------------------------------------------------   "Care!" Kelly called out as she approached the mechanic's shop. "Yo Carebear?" She started looking around, and into the windows. "Car- oh, you're not Care." She blushed as she peaked her head into the garage thinking Carrie would be by the car and instead coming face to face with the mechanic himself. "Nope. But sometimes people like to think I'm one of them carebears with the little charm thingys on their tummys. Haha. I swear." Kelly stared at him with confusion, feeling a bit creeped out. "Right, um, you don't by any chance you know where the friend I was with went to. My height, slender, blonde." She began describing, before looking around her. "Oh yeah, she went across the street to the gas station, girl's got a stomach that was starting to sound like a bowling alley." He chuckled and shook his head before turning back to check on the oil. "Thanks!" Not wanting to stay another moment, Kel sprinted across the street and into lot of the gas station, going into a full blown run as she saw the blonde through the poorly tinted windows. "Hey Carrie!" She jumped on the girl, her legs wrapping around Carrie's waist while her hands cupped her cheeks pulling them close to Kelly, and mushing her face close against her own. "Hi Poohbear" She mumbled, her lips squished together in a fish like face. "Guess what!!" The Texas native practically squealed. "You're deforming my face?" She joked, her arms lacing under Kelly's thighs feeling in reaction to the shifting weight. "Noooo, guess again!" she smiled and pushed her forehead against Carrie's forcing herself not to blink as she starred directly into the woman's eyes. "Give up." Giggling, Kelly climbed down Carrie and straightened her outfit out. "I got a surprise for you!" She bit her lip and bounced on her toes. Carrie giggled finding it oddly cute the way Kelly got excited. "Is my car getting fixed today?" Kel let out a small sigh. "No... but I have something better!" She smiled brightly again. "Is it a puppy!" Carrie's eyes lit up. "You know what, let's not guess." Kelly chuckled and rushed Carrie to pay for her stuff. "Oh my gosh Kelly!!" Carrie's mouth dropped open once Kelly removed her hands, revealing the surprise she had for her best friend. "I remember you said you wanted to own horses one day and... though, I may not be able to afford you a pony, I...." But before she could finish she found herself falling to the ground hard, feeling the wind knock out of her as she realized she was tackled. "IT'S THE SWEETEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER DONE POOHBEAR!!!" She squeaked and stood up, slightly bouncing in place and squealing a bit. "Well, why are you standing there? Let's go! We're losing daylight!" Kelly chuckled, and brushed herself off, pretending to act cool, when really, she wish she could buy her the horse. It made her smile though, how much Carrie lit up. It was definitely worth the new hole in her shirt from sliding a bit on the gravel. Kelly reached her hand out for Carrie's, a smile of encouragement gracing her lips. Carrie accepted, allowing Kelly to lift her up. She pressed herself closer against the Texan and wrapped her arms around Kel's waist tightly. "Uh, Kel?" Carrie's fingers curled up, slightly bunching up Kelly's shirt as her fingers curled into a fist. "Yes Boo?" Kelly looked up from the ground and turned her head to look at Carrie, who was looking all around them. "You know what your doing right?" Kelly chuckled and slightly pressed the heel of her foot into the horse, giving them an easy start. Nice and slow, for she was in no real rush. "I thought you've ridden a horse before?" Kelly kept her eyes forward, making sure they don't ride off course. "I never said that..." she could hear Carrie swallow hard, and couldn't help but giggle softly. "You're okay, just breathe, I've got you." They girls finally came to a stop upon a rather large, grassy hill. The wind had picked up slightly once again, causing the tall grass to dance back and forth. The ride had been long, and she could feel the blonde nuzzle her back. "Carrie?" She bit her lip trying to suppress a laugh. "Mmmm" Kelly swallowed hard, knowing for sure Carrie had dozed off. "Wake up lovebug, it's time for that second part of your surprise." She turned and softly spoke. A smile found her lips once more as hear Carrie yawn. She looked forward, directing Care's gaze to what was in front of her. "Oh Kelly..." she softly whispered in aww. She hadn't seen such a beautiful sunset before. The sky was rainbow, with bright oranges and purples. Soft, hot pinks colored the clouds and the bright green grass danced along the wind. It was something out of a movie. "It's beautiful. Thank you" The Texan blushed as the blonde lightly pressed her lips to Kelly's cheek in a soft kiss, remaining there in silence an aw until the sun had completely set.   --------------------------------------------------------------- It was so amazing, this place is so beautiful. And Kelly, good lord, I swear she surprises me everyday. I never saw it coming. It was so amazing. And perfect. No one had ever done anything like that for me, not ever. I don't even know how she, you know what, I don't want to know. I know it was out of limit, but, some how, she managed to just make this the most amazing day I have ever had. And I'll never forget it. Now if only there was some way I could make this up to her. Give her something special to thank her. But what? - Carrie June 15th, 2000. Maybe some dates are worth remembering after all.   --------------------------------------------------------------- The wind had picked up, causing the plants outside the little motel room to scrap across the windows, causing loud noises, and howls. Carrie couldn't take it anymore and got out of her bed, tip toeing all the way to Kelly's bed. Slowly, she lifted the blankets up and climbed into bed, cuddling up into the older woman's side. The sudden heat against her caused Kelly to wake, noticing the young woman in her bed. "It's cold, and there was..." Kelly pressed her lips to Carrie's forehead, hushing her lovingly. "It's okay. I got you." She whispered and took off her sweatshirt, lifting the half asleep Carrie up to put her sweatshirt on her, and laid her back down, pulling her close as the Oklahoma native fell straight to sleep in the softness and warmth of Kelly's sweatshirt as she felt the familiar arms wrap around her, making her feel safe for the first time all night. ***** What If? ***** Chapter Notes Everything in italic bold is a flashback. "You're fighting sleep, why?" Kelly laid upon the bed, wide awake as ever, but tired. She remained still, with an arm draped over Carrie's shoulders, and her other hand resting upon her stomach, feeling it move up and down in a slow, steady rhythm. "I'm not," Care mumbled. She rested her head upon Kelly's chest, while biting upon her lip to force down the smile that was trying to breach her lips, feeling her breathing sync to Kelly's as she fell into the beat of Kel's heart. "Mhmmm" Kelly's fingers slowly brushed up and down her sweater and against Carrie's spine, in a very soothing manner. "What?" She felt the blonde's head move up, and it didn't take opening her eyes to know that her best friend was starring at her. "You're the one fighting sleep." Carrie softly giggled and pressed her nose softly into Kelly's cheek. "Me? Never. I'm doing my job, M'Lady, and staying guard while you slumber." Kelly's voice turned playful accent, while she straightened her posture a bit. "Oh really now!?" Carrie giggled and shift, so she straddled Kelly's hips, and folded her arms beneath her chest. "And why does my knight not have any armor? Is she fire proof from the Dragon? I think not!" Carrie did her best Old English accent as she looked down at Kelly. "I need no armor M'Lady, for I am of magic!" Kelly sat up, buckled Care's knees, wrapping her legs around her, so that she may sit more comfortably upon her lap. She couldn't help but giggle when Carrie made a small noise from the shift, before readjusting her posture, and folding her arms. Kelly's hands never left Carrie's thighs, her fingers, mindlessly tracing shapes against them. "Of magic? There's no such thing. I do not believe in this... magic... you speakth of!" Care playfully waved her hand in dismissal. "Oh, yet you believe in these, dragons, of the sorts, but not of my magical powers! How dare thee! Confess you believe, or feel thy wrath!" Kelly playfully growled, her hands up, causing her to look like an animal ready to attack, with her nose scrunched up and everything. "Confess I dare not, ye have no wrath. For there is no such thing as magic! Hmph!" Carrie folded her arms and stuck her nose in the air. With Carrie's eyes closed, Kelly took the advantage and grabbed Carrie, giggling as she heard the girl squeal, and flipped them over so Carrie was beneath her while she tickled her. "Confess?" Kelly laughed, her hands pausing on Care's sides, but not letting. "NEVAH!" Carrie tensed, before screaming in a laughing fit as Kelly started tickling her again. "I CONFESS, I CONFESS, STOP OMG NOOOOOO!!" Kelly wrapped her arms around Carrie in a hug as she fell gently on top of the girl beneath her, both unable to stop laughing. "See Boo, no more bad things." Carrie looked around and wrapped her arms around the back of Kelly's neck pulling her into a hug. "Thank you Poohbear." The smile from her lips couldn't fall, instead her cheeks flushed when she felt Kelly's lips upon them. "I love you." Kelly gave her best friend a gentle squeeze, and whispered back. "I love you too." After re-positioning themselves into a cuddle, Carrie's head back on Kelly's chest, and Kelly's fingers playing with the ends of Carrie's hair, the both stared off into the cool darkness as they continued to talk. "Poohbear?" Carrie whispered before looking up at Kelly. "Hmm?" Kelly looked down at Carrie with a comforting smile, seeing the questionable look in Carrie's eyes once her own eyes adjusted to the darkness. "Is this why you quit your job?" Kelly knew they would eventually have to talk about it. She usually talks to Carrie about everything she can. Kel let go of a deep breath, her chest sinking low, and her posture almost changing, as Care noted. "Yes and no." Carrie gently wiggled against Kelly's stroking fingers, as they tickled up and down her spine. "What do you mean?" Carrie grabbed another blanket and pulled it over them, before looking back up, waiting for the hazel eye'd beauty to explain. "I hated that job with a passion, is was only a matter of time. But I also wouldn't have gotten to do this if I was still working there. So yes and no." Carrie nodded. "So, it has nothing to do with college?" Kelly smirked and gave an airy chuckle. "No, I'm not going to college. It's not for me." That caused the blonde to sit up on her elbow and look at her bestie. "Then what are you going to do with your life?" Kel frowned. Knowing Carrie wasn't going to like what was next. "I don't know. I haven't been able to decide. Nothing feels right. And I don't have money to waste on wandering degrees." She shrugged. "And what about you?" She quickly changed the topic from being on her to Carrie. "Why law school? And why so far away?" She bit her lip, scared to know why Carrie didn't want to be so close. Kelly immediately relaxed from being nervously tense as Care laid back down with her arm wrapped around Kelly's stomach. "I wanted to prove I can be on my own, some place my family has to work to get to me, and end up just watching me do it on my own. I feel like everyone baby's me. Like they feel like they have no choice." Kelly looked down, feeling like that's what she did, take care of Carrie, and make sure she felt safe. "I'm sorry" she whispered in defeat, not realizing how she acted. "No, don't be sorry. You're fine. You didn't do anything." Carre slipped her hand under Kel's cheek, forcing her to look at the blue eye'd blonde. "But-" Carrie shook her head and kissed the girl's nose. "I like when you do that Poohbear. I know it's your way of showing me you love me. I wouldn't change anything you do." All Kelly could do is nod.   --------------------------------------------------------------- The storm was brutal, the trees scrapping and pounding against the glass of a younger Kelly's window. The wind was howling, as the rain was scrapping past. Thunder rolled and roared across the sky, as lightning brightened up the room. Kel's arms wrapped tightly around the shaking blonde, who couldn't stop crying. Her hands slowly brushing up and down the upset girl's back in soothing, comfort like manner. "Shhh, it's okay, it's just a really bad storm. It'll be over soon." Kelly whispered into her ear, trying her best to calm her friend down. She gently rocked her as she told her cute little stories, and forced the blonde to talk to her. A smiled curved along Kelly's lips once she realized that the startled Carrie had finally fallen asleep as the storm started to disappear. She leaned down and kissed her forehead "I'm not going anywhere" she whispered before pulling the blankets up more. She took a good look at the sleeping beauty and her arms, and smiled, she looked so peaceful compared to when she was awake, it was quite the sight to see. Kelly pushed the blonde locks out of Carrie's face, and smiled down at her. There was just something so precious about her sleeping. Kelly snuggled closer, and finally closed her eyes, keeping her best friend safe within her embrace.   --------------------------------------------------------------- "Okay, I actually have a question." Kelly looked down and smiled at Carrie. "What?" Care arched her brow, not sure what was on the woman's mind. "Do you remember, the very first thing I ever gave you? And why?" Carrie smiled, glad that it was dark, so Kel couldn't see her blushing. "Yes, it was that really soft, Winnie the Pooh bear you won me at Disneyland. I wasn't having any luck, and you wouldn't dare leave the park until you won me something. So we ended up leaving the park late at night. That's also how you became my Poohbear." She giggled and got out of bed, nearly skipping over to her suitcase, where she grabbed something and ran back into bed. Kelly laughed so loud when she realized what Carrie had grabbed. "Oh God, you still have that thing?!" Her jaw dropped and her hand flew to her face. "Of course. I have everything you gave me." Carrie giggled as her and the Pooh bear snuggled back against Kelly. "Oh Boo, you are something else." She shook her head, and wrapped both arms around the stuff bear, and sleepy woman. "Oh man, I remember all those times you used to scare me, you said Boo so much, that eventually, that's just what you called me!" She buried her face into Kelly. "Well, that's because that was the only thing you'd respond to!!" She snickered. Kelly shifted them so they were facing each other, side by side, her arms still around the blonde woman, and pulled her close before kissing her nose. "I'm glad you changed your mind Carrie." She whispered, her nose brushing against Carrie's softly. Carrie returned the Eskimo kiss, and smiled. "Me too. Although you really didn't have to do what you did today." She closed her eyes and snuggled against the brunette, poohbear in arm. Kelly went to kiss Care's forehead, and ended up with lips full of fuzz as the toy bear intercepted the kiss. "You're something else." She chuckled, kissing the toy then her best friend. "I love you." Her hands memorizing Carrie's curves and sides. "I love you too Poohbear." Kelly kept her ears open, for the change in the winds, hoping that they were hearing the end of it, so her best friend could finally sleep. "Kel?" The whisper came off so innocent, and soft, it nearly broke her heart. "Yes angel?" She pressed her lips to the woman's temple, hoping to reassure her. "How come you haven't had a boyfriend?" Carrie's tone was soft, and genuinely curious. "Guess I never found the right guy, besides, I'm happy just the way I am. Why?" She felt the nod against her chest and closed her eyes. "Just wondering why we never talked about relationship stuff." Kelly let go of her deep breath, and relaxed. "I see. Well, I just, haven't found anyone I wanted." Kelly smiled as the very tired blonde yawned and fell asleep. Kelly following short behind her.   --------------------------------------------------------------- I'm not ready for any of this to end just yet. I'm not ready for her to leave... What if she never comes back? Or worse... What if she forgets me? Now I know I'm just being dramatic, she wouldn't forget me, right? I don't know, my mind just won't shut up. I'm going to bed, there's a heavy pressure in my chest, and it's starting to hurt. Tomorrow's a new day right? Maybe everything will be different. -Kelly ***** People That Love You Put Blankets On You ***** It's a painful feeling, waking up alone when you didn't go to bed alone. It's more frightening, if I'm going to be honest. A nightmare, I suppose is the word I am referring most to. A strange sort of panic then sets in, what happened to them? Where'd they go? Why didn't they wake you? Did something happen? Did you do something? You even begin to stop making sense when the questions cross the friendship line, and the person in reference is simply just a friend. However, at the same time, they are your best friend, the one person who makes you feel safe and isn't supposed to leave. And never, in all of our years of friendship, have I ever woken up alone. For Kelly never would of left me alone. And that scares me. I wonder what happened... - Carrie   --------------------------------------------------------------- "Hey..." Kelly looked down, and over her shoulder in the direction of the soft voice. She was sitting up in a larger tree, just watching the world pass her by. "Hey you..." she softly replied. Carrie's palm rested against the tree as she leaned into it. Her hazel blue eyes softly tracing the young woman's posture before finding those hazel orbs she loved so much. "How'd you sleep?" Kelly beat her to a response. "Good. And you?" Kelly gave a soft half smile, and lightly nodded in return. "What are you doing!?" Her facial expression changed to confusion and fear as she watched the angelic blonde climb the tree. "What!? You think I'm going to let you have all the fun!?" She giggled and struggled up the tree. Kelly helped pull her up next to her, and securely wrapped her arm around the woman's waist for safety. It was early morning, there was a soft breeze, and the sun was lightly peaking, leaving a very tiny portion of the sky light blue at the bottom, beneath the stars. "Are you okay?" Carrie turned to Kelly. Her eyes in search of her best friend's. "Yeah. I just couldn't sleep." Kelly leaned over and kisses her friend on the cheek softly. "You left me alone." Carrie bit her lip in reaction to the crack in her soft tone. "I'm sorry. I didn't think about it. I just didn't want to disturb you." Kelly nearly whispered back. She pressed her nose into Care's cheek gently, and give a little nudge. Carrie glanced over at the her best friend, being cute as hell. She softly smiled, and shifted to press her forehead to her best friend's. "What am I going to do with you?" She quietly giggled. "Hold me. Love me. Never ever leave me." Kelly joked, her arms softly slipping around Carrie's waist, wrapping her in a warm, and loving embrace. "As if I could ever leave and stop loving you."Kelly smiled and leaned in to kiss Carrie's cheek, capturing the corner of Care's lips with her own. Dazed, Kelly played it smooth, and pulled away calmly, as if she meant to. Carrie's eyes were stunned as she looked at Kelly, who was now climbing down the tree. "Kel?" She managed a broken whisper and cleared her throat. "Yes?" She looked up with a smile, ignoring the warmth and soft press feeling against her lips. "Help me down?" Carrie ignored her original thought, and started to make her way down to Kelly's open arms.   --------------------------------------------------------------- I must admit, that was an accident. However, I think I played it cool enough to seem like I wasn't freaked out by it. Her lips though... man. They were so warm and soft, and it's freezing out. I can't help but wonder if the rest of her lips are that soft and warm. She hasn't said a word about it, or to me really. I think I scared her. And now I got this tingly feeling in my tummy. I'm not sure if it's because I'm going to be sick or what. Man, I really want to kiss her... what's wrong with me!!?!? Carrie's my best friend. And a girl! I'm not supposed to like girls! The hell? But her lips... - Kelly   ---------------------------------------------------------------   Carrie could feel Kelly's gaze upon her. Every now and then she caught the Texan looking at her lips, and she was equally guilty of doing the same thing. She felt warm all of a sudden. And was praying her cheeks weren't as flushed as they felt. "You know, I'm still tired, so I think I'm going to go back to bed. Okay? Wake me when you're ready to leave, or eat." She said as she opened the door. "Okay, I'm going to hop in the shower. Night." Kelly wished her bet friend sweet dreams as she grabbed her stuff and made her way to the bathroom. She could not tell if things were awkward, or just tense. Either way she could only hope that things would be better once Carrie woke up. Carrie, who had changed out of her clothes and back into her pjs, along with Kel's sweatshirt, laid in bed, just starring out the window. She could still feel Kel's lips at the corner of her own. And so many questions ran through her mind. She just laid there in wonder if Kel had known, an if so how long she had known. And if she didn't know, why'd she play so cool about it. Rubbing her eyes, the young blonde took a deep breath, and pulled the blankets up closer, in hopes to fall asleep before Kelly got out. She told herself Kelly couldn't have known, and that it was just an accident. No need to freak out. No need to bring it up and talk about it. Just an accident. And with that, she decided to pretend it never happened, and closed her eyes. Quietly, the short Texan tip toed out of the bathroom, so not to wake the sleeping beauty. A smile taunted her lips as she noticed the girl wearing her sweater. She shook her head, and swallowed the chuckle. The sight before her eyes was truly something. Gently, and slowly, Kelly lifted the blankets and eased Carrie back into the bed, from her position of being half on and half off. From experience, Kel knew that the girl moved in her sleep, more so when she has a nightmare, than anything else. Her loving fingers softly brushed the blonde strands from Care's face before she leaned down to kiss her temple, sparking a little moan like noise for the sleeping girl. Kelly soothingly rubbing her back in comfort, and then brought the blankets back over Care's shoulders after feeling her relax. "You're safe." she calmly whispered into Carrie's ear before occupying the chair beside the bed. Though her stomach was on the verge of talking, she wanted to give Carrie at least another hour of sleep. She looked so peaceful. Like nothing in the world was bothering her. And she wanted her to have that. Even if it meant she ate little later than her stomach wanted. Because that peaceful look, and little smile she does in her sleep, made everything Kel did for her, worth every crumb. Carrie wasn't sure how long she had been sleeping for, her groggy eyes didn't take long to find the sleeping Kelly beside her, curled up in the chair. She envied that woman's ability to sleep absolutely anywhere. And with a shake of her head, she grabbed her sheet, and carefully got out of bed, to place it on her, before crawling back into bed. She glanced at the alarm, that informed her it was still really early, arguing against the urge to go back to sleep, Carrie got up and decided to get ready. If she was lucky, she'd still be able to catch breakfast at that cute little family owned restaurant down the street. She had a feeling Kelly would be hungry, and after what she did last night for her, treating her to breakfast was the least she could do. She wasn't going to bother with a note or anything, just take the keys and go. She knew unless Kelly had her guard down, the girl was a light sleeper, and if she wanted to make it out she needed to not waste anytime, so she quickly fiddled into her jeans, and slippers and rushed out the door. The rays of the sun were warm against her sweatshirt. Piercing heat patches through the cold air. And the air was fresh and crisp from all the farmlands that surrounded them. She loved how colorful the mornings seemed, with all the green, and the soft fog. It was slightly enchanting. Carrie smiled as she walked in, the place was warm, and smelled of freshly ground coffee. The locals were chatting, and full of warm smiles. A girl could get used to this. "Well, good morning. And what may I get you?" A little old lady walked up to her, while she spaced out. "Good morning." She slightly shook herself back into reality. "Um, four sausage and cheese breakfast croissants, with hash-browns and orange juice please" she smiled. "For here or to go sweetheart?" The elderly woman in front of her asked politely. "To go please." Carrie made sure to thank the nice waitress, who was in surprisingly a great mood for how busy her morning seemed. Carrie made sure she left a really good tip and thanked her again before leaving. She could feel her stomach growling from all the pleasant smells, causing her to walk a bit faster. "I come barring food." She held up the bag, seeing the slightly confused, and awake Kelly as she walked into the door. "Where'd you go?" Kel's eyes still completely confused. "Little diner across the street." She answered, before handing her a foam box and her bottle of juice. "Could of left a note. You had me scared." Her eyes didn't leave Carrie, even when she had her food in hands. She just continued to stand there. "I'm sorry. I was hoping to be back before you woke up. Guess that makes us even. Now eat before it gets cold. I know you're hungry." Kelly was amazed. She didn't think the girl had it in her to do something like that. Especially here. As beautiful as it was, Kelly didn't trust a lot of the people here. Especially the mechanic working on the car. And she felt like a gorgeous, innocent girl like Carrie, needed to be careful. "Well, wake me next time. Please?" Carrie nodded once and smiled as she started to eat. "Thank you." Kel smiled back. "You're welcome."   --------------------------------------------------------------- If only she knew. -Carrie ***** Unapologize ***** Strangely enough, it's only been a couple of days, and already I'm feeling a tad home sick. I miss mama, and my other friends. Next time I stop, I'll definitely give mama a call and see how she is. Make sure she hasn't turned my room into an entertainment center or something haha. But I will admit. I definitely needed this. I'm finally thinking clear again... at least clear enough to start wondering about things. I don't know when my head started to clear up. But I'm starting to feel my gutting feeling pondering on things... and that can only mean one thing... something bad is gunna happen. -Kelly   --------------------------------------------------------------- "Hey, Carebear?" Kelly slightly glanced over her shoulder at Carrie, but continued to keep both eyes on the road. She was wide awake, and decided after Carrie's little mishap it would be better if she did the most of the driving, if not all of it. She knew Carrie enough to know that deep down, the blonde girl was scared just being in the car after the small accident. "Yes, Poohbear?" She smiled over at her best friend. She couldn't help but admire the look on Kelly's face. It was so cute how focused she was. "You're parents..." Kelly stopped, and took a deep breath, her hazel eyes glancing at all her mirrors to regular check behind her. "What about them?" Care's heart started to speed up. "They're okay with you being here right? I mean, on the trip with me. They're okay with that right?" Kelly did her best not to think about the other night where her and Carrie got into that big fight. She still felt like an asshole, and the guilt was still lodged in her mind. But she remembered all the things Carrie told her about that night. And that was now feeding her guilt. "Would I be here if they weren't?" She sarcastically played off her lie, and giggled. The beats of her heart now skipping. She wondered what brought on the random question, and started to ponder if Kelly's focus wasn't so much the road, but other things. "Okay, good. I just asked because I was remembering things from the other night. And I didn't want to take away the time you had with 'em, ya know?" She patted Carrie's thigh before bringing her hand back up to the steering wheel. "Besides, I don't want ya to get in trouble or anything." She looked over and smiled. "Carrie smiled back, hoping her deception couldn't be seen in her eyes. " Where is all of this coming from?" Kelly shrugged it off, both eyes fixated on the road. "It's fine Poohbear, besides, would I really be here if they weren't okay with it?" ============================ Back Home ============================ "Jeanna! We know you're home!" A deep voiced yelled along side the numerous amounts of violent bangs upon the door. Jeanne felt as if she had just gotten to sleep. She hadn't been sleeping well since Kelly left. The house was silent, her baby flew the nest. Her home had never felt so strange to her. And it was requiring far more adjusting than she realized. "I'm coming! Hold on!" She yelled as she came down the stairs, pulling her robe over her shoulders. She was half tempted to smack whoever it was pounding upon her door so early in the morning. However, once she opened the door, her eyes grew wide from surprise from the unexpected visitor. ============================ On Some Back Road ============================ Kelly hated what her gut was telling her. But she never ignored the feeling. She knew it was right. She wasn't too sure what about, what she had a feeling, and she was going to follow it. The young women had been on the road for a few hours, and though Carrie was trying so hard not to, she was starting to do the pee dance enough for Kelly to notice. "There should be an exit coming up, do I need to take it." She softly chuckled. "OH MY LORD, YES!!! I told you, I am not going to tinkle in some bush!" Kelly bit her lip. All these years, and Care saying 'tinkle' was still the funniest thing in the world. "Shut up!" Carrie smacked Kel in the arm. "I didn't say anything!" She squeaked, wanting to rub the pain in her arm, but pouted instead as she took the next exit. "You didn't have to." Thankfully it was just a rest stop, and it looked rather empty. Kelly waited for Carrie to step inside the restroom before getting out of the car, wallet in hand, and headed towards the pay phone. Eyes on the restroom, she glanced to quickly dial, and kept her guard upon the bathrooms. ============================ Back Home ============================ Jeanne's eyes grew wide as the phone began to ring. She set her tea down upon the coffee table and reached over, mouthing an apology to her guest as she answered the phone. "Hello?" "Hey Momma!" Kelly's voiced, excited answered from the other end. "Kelly, honey, thank god!" Jeanne look to her neighbors with relief. ============================ At The Rest Stop ============================ Kelly's facial expression grew puzzled. She chuckled. "I haven't been gone that long, Momma. Everything okay?" She asked, scared and confused. "Kelly honey, Carrie is with you, right?" Kelly could tell her mom wasn't joking around, and that gut feeling of hers started to jab her in the stomach. "Of course she is. Where else would she be?" "Honey, Carrie's parents are here. They've been here since this morning, looking for her!" "That can't be. Carrie called her parents yesterday!" Kelly stared at the bathroom in disbelief. "She told me they knew!" "Do you really think they would let their seventeen year old go on a road trip Kelly?!" Her mother started to change her tone. "Ma! I had no idea I swear!" "I believe you!" "No you don't! You're starting to sound like I kidnapped her!" "That's not true!" "Well, that's how it sounds. Carrie would never lie to me!" "Do you really feel like her parents would go through all this trouble, because they're lying?!" "Yes!" "Kelly Brianne Clarkson!" "But Momma..." "Kelly!!" Kelly stood there listening to her mother lecture her about how Carrie is now considered a runaway. And that traveling with a minor without parental consent is beyond stupid. "Yes Ma'am. I understand." Kelly's tone was now defeated, and her head hung low. Her hazel eyes observing her feet kick the rubble beneath them. "No ma'am." She continued agreeing with her mother. "Thank you." She nearly choked back. ============================ Back Home ============================ "My Kelly will keep her safe. Make no doubts about it." Jeanne turned to the Underwoods as she hung up the phone. "We have no worries, Jeanne. Thank you." Mrs. Underwood assured Kel's mother. "I'm sorry about everything." Guilt filling her eyes. "No reason to apologize, we know this wasn't Kelly's fault." Mrs. Underwood continued. "Let the kids be kids. They only live once. We'll handle Carrie, and her punishment when she returns..." Mr. Underwood started. "Might as well right... for that'll be the last bit of freedom she'll see for awhile." He finished. "Or at least until she leaves to Harvard." Carrie's mom joked. "Well, don't be too hard on her." Jeanne escorted them to the door. ============================ At The Rest Stop ============================ "Ready?!" Carrie smiled, as she jumped in the car, and buckled up. "Kelly?" she asked, confused by the slouched position Kel was in. She was upset. Kelly was sure not to hide how upset she was. "You lied to me." Carrie's heart sank. "Oh, Kelly..." Carrie began. "No! Save it. You lied." Kelly got out of the car, slamming the door behind her. Carrie quickly followed. "Come on, Poohbear!" Care called from behind. "Oh, no you don't!" Kel spun around. "Why'd you lie?!" Carrie shrugged. "Not good enough, why'd you lie?!" She started to yell. "I just wanted to be with you..." Carrie's eyes were filled with hurt. She had never seen Kelly so angry. Especially towards her... "I don't believe that... Do you even know how much trouble I am in, because of you!?!!" She continued to snap. "YOUR PARENTS NEARLY CALLED THE COPS ON ME!!" Carrie mouthed a 'my parents?' trying to process what Kelly just said. "How do you know that?" She didn't think she was gone that long. "Because I called my mom. They came to my house looking for you!" Kelly bit her lip as Carrie looked down. She could her the blonde girl crying, but refused to cave into the fact that she still had no true answers. "I'm sorry..." she barely heard Care's apologetic whisper. "Not good enough... why'd you lie? To me? To your parents? Why'd you runaway?" She refused to move from her spot. She was mad. She was hurt. She wanted to hit something, and for that, she didn't trust herself around her best friend. Not when her words already stabbed her. And for that, she listened to Carrie's story from a distance.   --------------------------------------------------------------- I couldn't tell her.... I just couldn't tell her. It's not the right time. And my parents? They'll never understand... but I guess that doesn't matter anymore... not when I've hurt her this bad... she may never forgive me now. -Carrie ***** Keep Drivin' ***** Kelly hadn't realized how much they had already driven since leaving home. The time was dragging, and so were the miles back home. They still had a whole day and a half to go, and she couldn't grip the steering wheel tight enough. The older girl's eyes peered through all the mirrors, and constantly gazed at the time upon her watch, wishing more time would pass then the few minutes that made themselves known. Her duo toned locks blew restlessly against her stern frozen face. Those familiar eyes of hazel blue watched from the corner of the young woman's eyes as she gave the illusion of looking out her window with her knees to her chest, and her chin to her knees, occasionally removing her eyes from the older girl to watch the world pass her by. Kelly wasn't trusting of Carrie to drive them back home. At least, that's how Underwood felt. In truth, Kel just needed to drive to take her mind away and relax. It gave her something to really focus on. The young Clarkson hated not talking with the people she wanted when they were right there in front of her but pretending she wasn't, it made her mind reel, her heart race, and her hands shake. It was uneasy, sitting there with the usually talkative blonde phased out in uncharted silence. The brunette gripped the wheel a little tighter to focus on something other than her hands shaking, and her heart breaking, hoping the uneasiness within her stomach would fade soon, and that the pain her chest will stop. But they weren't stopping anytime soon. And she was trying her best not to crowd the young girl in the passenger seat. Kelly couldn't take the silence anymore, and though she wasn't in the mood too, she turned the radio on. Anything was better than the silence that was engulfing the two young women with every passing moment. Of course, that didn't make Carrie feel any better. She was starting to get rather annoyed, and yet was terrified all at the same time. She had no idea what to expect when she got home. Not just from her parents, but from Kelly too. Would Kelly just drop her off and finish her road trip, was the whole trip ruined thanks to her? Would Kelly and her parents even let her go if Kel decided to finish the road trip? All of a sudden her actions rang clear. The road trip was supposed to be their time together before life pulled them their separate ways, what if she never saw the short Texan ever again? It was then made aware to Kelly that the posture of the blonde was changing, like she was sinking down lower into her seat. What Carrie wasn't aware of was that Kel would give the whole world just to know what was on in the blue eye'd girl's mind that very moment. --------------------------------------------------------------- The long drive was starting to take its toll on Clarkson. She only stopped when really needed. She wasn't even going to stop for a room, which ended up being murder on Carrie's back and neck, from all her restless sleep against the seat. And to top the whole thing off, Kelly still wouldn't say more than a handful of words to the blonde. She knew what she did was a little wrong, she didn't think it was enough for Kelly to be acting the way she was though. She had every right to go about it the way she did, and had she done it any other way she probably wouldn't even be here. She did it for Kelly, so why couldn't Kelly see that? And if she did see it, why was she behaving the way she was? Carrie decided to stop thinking, as she rolled over in her seat, her brain in overdrive, forcing her to remain awake. She looked out the window of her car, and stared out at the stars, trying to forget, even for just a moment.   --------------------------------------------------------------- This was not what I had in mind at all. But I suppose nothing ever goes as planned. God has always had a funny way of reminding me that his plans for us are far greater than that of our own. It seems my life has always been a great example of that. Not that I mind, sometimes that is the very thing that restores my faith. Faith, I wish I had some of that right now, for I fear that I'm losing myself, losing my views of everything I believed in and held dearly. I'm fighting this eternal battle, and losing. Not to mention that this feud with Carrie is literally feeding into that... it scares me. And the one person who always helped me through it, isn't around to. I remember the first time I lost my faith. I was sitting outside upon the steps of my church, crying my eyes out in the pouring rain, asking why. And this girl, that I had never met or seen until that very moment, sat beside me, and talked to me for hours in the rain until I not only had stopped crying, but came to the understanding that sometimes, things just happen... oh my god!! That's it! I know what I got to do! - Kelly   --------------------------------------------------------------- Kelly never took her eyes from the road. To Carrie, the tiny Texan's seemed more stern than ever. She had never once seen Kelly so mad, and it was starting to frighten her. So much that she wouldn't even look in Kelly's direction long enough to get caught, let alone open her mouth. "Almost there." The cold, and slightly unexpected words startled Care out of her thoughts. But all she could do was nod in okay. And for the first time all day, Clarkson's eyes glanced over in the shaken blonde's direction. Her heart sank. "Hey?" Her voice more gentle and softer. Underwood looked over at Kel with a hint of fear in her eyes. The short hair girl saw it and softened up even more. "It's going to be okay." She finally gave her best friend a tiny smile. Carrie was confused, did Kelly mean that they were going to be okay? Did she mean that things with her parents would be okay? Or was it just a general statement to make her feel better? The younger teen's eye's fell to the floor as she began to think everything over. She started to say a small prayer for strength, hoping things would be okay. In all honesty, Care could live with her parents being angry and disappointed, and even grounding her until the day she dies. She had gotten used to that. But what she couldn't live with though, was Kelly being upset with her. She couldn't take it anymore. She missed her best friend. She knew it was all her fault. But she didn't know how to fix any of this. She couldn't take the fact that she had it in her to hurt the one person she loved more than anything. And that's where her biggest fear was starting to rest.   --------------------------------------------------------------- Maybe it's the words you left unsaid... -Carrie --------------------------------------------------------------- Carrie sat up right as she watched Kelly drive right past their exit. She could feel her mouth moving and stuttering, but heard no sound as she looked back at the exit in sheer confusion. "K-Kelly?..." She finally snapped her head toward the rock-ish looking teen. However, the young Clarkson did not answer, she simply kept driving. She wasn't doing it to be rude, she just knew Care better than that. Carrie was not the type to go off of feelings, was to the type to go off of what was the obvious and what was in front of her. Kelly was always the risky one. Even if the odds were seriously not in any of her favors, she would still go for it. She rather lose and learn than walk away in wonder. "If you have to pee, do it now, the closest stop is a bit away." She smirked. "Oh my... no Kelly. No!" She immediately swung open her door, tripping out of the cotton candy classic to chase after her best friend who was headed towards the mini mart. "Clarkson, whatever you are thinking, un-think it right now, and take me home!" Kelly just rolled her eyes and quietly chuckled to herself in amusement. "I'm seriously, Kelly!! We're going to get into so much trouble!" It was then, that Kel decided to turn around, walking backwards as she confronted her buddy. "Relax, Boo! Everything's going to be fine. Just chill. It's going to be okay. We're just... taking a detour. A very long detour." She smirked as she turned back around. "Kelly Clarkson you get back here this instant. I'm not playing." The taller girl yelled. "You know what your problem is?" Kelly sighed and snapped in annoyance. "You don't know how to just let go and follow your feelings. Instead you walk around with a stuck up your ass doing what you think is right for everyone but you, knowing it will never make them happy, what makes them happy is your failure. That's what your problem is." She swallowed hard, before she felt the burning sting and forced turn of her face. The sound of the skin to skin contact echoed through the desert valley around them. With a locked jaw, and shocking glare of hurt, Kelly stormed off. She didn't know where she was walking to, just following some dirt path near the station. Clarkson couldn't believe that her own best friend had the nerve to slap her across the face. Sure, she didn't to lash out on Carrie the way that she did, but she didn't think it was slap worthy either. But that's how Kel was. She never believed in hitting a woman. No matter if you were a man or a woman. And therefore, nothing was worth raising her hand to a woman she loved, or a woman at all. Immediately filled with regret, Care chased after Kelly. "Poohbear? Poohbear, come back please? Kelly, please? You could get hurt!" She yelled as she started to run to catch up to the older teen. "Baby, please?" She cried out. She didn't know where she was, and the last thing she wanted was for Kelly to get lost, or worst, get hurt, and her not be anywhere near her to help her or protect her. "Kelly!" She started to cry. It was very rare for the blue eye'd, blonde to cry. Kel knew this but kept walking. She was fuming. However, Carrie did finally catch up, and grabbed onto Kel's arm, pulling her to her, and causing the short Texan to look into her eyes. "No!" Kelly yanked her arm away, tears had flooded her eyes some time ago, as the imprint of Care's hand blushed against Clarkson's pale cheek. It stung Underwood to even look at it. And her heart broke again from her ability to hurt the one person she cared most about. "Please?" She faintly spoke. "Why? I'm sorry, okay!? I'm sorry! But you didn't need to slap me! I was just trying to help! Do you really want to go back? Let them rip you a to billion tiny pieces, shredding your every bit of grace and beauty? Do you really want to deal with them? I love you! Do you know that!? I did this because I-..." Carrie had phased out of Kel's ranting, her mind was lost in the thoughts of how Kelly cared so much about her. She did this for her. No one had ever done anything like this for her. "What's wrong with you? No matter what I do, I can never seem to plea-uhm-..." Kelly's last word was muffled when she felt a firm, hard press against her lips, and a tugging of her head. Quickly, she started to push away, but not before her lips moved back against the pair of strawberry tasting lips pushed to hers...   --------------------------------------------------------------- To be Continued... ***** This Love ***** Carrie pulled away, her eyes immediately searching her best friend's, she wasn't sure what she was looking for, but the look of extreme shock was not what she was expecting. "Kel... please say something?" The blonde's voice began to tremble in the anxiety. However, Kelly couldn't even contemplate what just happened. "I..." Her face scrunched up in confusion; she was still trying to process "I-I need to go back to the car." She finally managed to breathe out. "Kelly?" Carrie's voice now a pain filled squeak as she watched he other girl walk away. Kelly looked back briefly, still too shocked to say anything. "Kelly, please talk to me?" Care finally called out after her. Clarkson was already close to the car before Underwood decided to even chase after her. This was in no way close to the reaction she was hoping for. The young blonde could feel her heart breaking, for she was so sure that the signals that she was getting meant that Kelly had felt the same way, so why was she acting like this? Once she finally reached the car, she found the older brunette jus sitting in the passenger seat dazed deep in a thought. With a hard swallow, she got in the cotton candy mobile. "Can we talk abut this?" She asked. "Not right now..." Kelly's voice was so faint it was almost not there. "When?" Carrie tried to ask in a softer, less demanding voice. She didn't mean to put pressure on her, she needed answers. "I don't know." And with that, the blonde hair, blue eyed teen started up her car, and began taking them on the new route Kelly had mapped out for them.   --------------------------------------------------------------- She kissed me! Why did she kiss me? Does this mean what I think it means? What do I even think this means? Now everything is going to change, and it's her fault. I mean... I know I wanted this... at least I think I did, but... was I actually ready? Oh well, it's too late for that thought now. But what's going to happen now? - Kelly --------------------------------------------------------------- "Kelly?" Carrie's voice was a whisper,, her eyes occasionally peering over at the shorter girl next to her. "Yes?" Kelly finally looked over at her best friend. They had been driving in silence for a few hours now. The sun was setting over the desert fields, in a collage of orange and pink scattered across the sky. Hints of stars were just barely peaking through the vibrant colors. "Are we going to be okay?" It was quite clear in her voice that she was scared as hell. And the tone made Kel's heart sink deep within her chest. "Why do you ask that?" She gave the younger girl confused look. "Because you've been nothing but a zombie since..." Care couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. Especially after her question was replied with nothing but a shrug. She knew Clarkson wasn't being an ass intentionally but the reactions from her still hurt.   --------------------------------------------------------------- Do I deserve this? I can't tell if I did something wrong... I mean... I can take her being mad at me. I rather he be yelling if she's upset, but I honestly can't read her like this. I can't tell what is going on in her mind. And all this silence is deafening. Is she mad at me? Is she just in shock? Did I just fuck everything up? Why won't just act her age and just talk to me? Anything but this. - Carrie. --------------------------------------------------------------- Too tired to drive anymore, Underwood got off at the next city exit. Clarkson had fallen asleep some time ago, ending the awkward silence between hem for the time being.With Kelly nearly dead to the world, Care at first decide against waking the other girl, so instead, she moved all of their stuff into their new motel room before figuring out what to do about her friend. "Poohbear." She couldn't stop the smile and soft giggle that passed her lips when Kell scrunched up her nose and curled up in the seat more. "Come on sleepy head, we're at the hotel. Wake up." It was pointless. She knew she wouldn't be able to wake Kelly, but it didn't hurt to try first. "Hold on to me Kel, I don't want to drop you." She laughed as she picked up the tiny girl. Kelly's arms instantly wrapped around Care's neck, it was times like this that Care was thankful for being athletic and for Clarkson being pretty much a hobbit, or else they'd be sleeping in the car. Once inside, the blonde managed to get her hobbit into bed. She took off the sleeping girl's shoes, and removed her wallet and keys from her pockets before tucking her in. The younger girl couldn't stop the slightly broken smile from curving her lips. For Kelly was so beautiful when she slept. As carefully as she could, Care leaned down and pressed a kiss to the older girl's temple, a small moan from the disturbed sleeper was a heart warming reply back, causing her to smile more. "I love you, Clarkson." She whispered into her ear. Too awake, with a heavy heart, and restless mind, Underwood as quietly as she could, put on her bathing suit and made her way to the pool, leaving the sleeping girl to rest, if there was one thing she disliked more than anything, it was staying still for too long while she was stressed out. She needed to do something productive. And thought going for a late night swim was the best thing she could do at this hour, besides pace the floors off the motel. She always did her best thinking while in motion anyways. The young brunette wasn't sure how long she had been asleep for, but she knew it couldn't have been too long, for it was still dark outside. She laid in bed trying t remember how she even got here and where here was. Confused, she got up and searched for the lights. It was then that she had noticed she was alone, with her heart a race, she tried hard no to panic. She talked herself into thinking that maybe Carrie went out for food, though she wasn't sure how long she had been gone, and the car was still here. Kelly forced herself to sit on her bed, watching the door like a lost puppy that was left behind. Her mind was thinking of every worst possibility, what if she was kidnapped? What if Kelly hurt her so bad that she ran away and ditched her? What if she was lost somewhere? But no matter what came into her mind, she tried her best to stick to her plan, to wait some time and if nothing, then she would go out searching for her. Until then, all she could do was distract herself some how. --------------------------------------------------------------- After an hour had passed, Kell finally gave in and put on her shoes. he couldn't wait anymore. An the longer the time passed, the worse she was starting to feel about Carrie's absence. Truth was though, Carrie had no clue how much time had passed her by. She was lost in the feeling of the water flowing against her skin. She had literally forgotten everything. it was releasing, the feeling of the cool liquid brushing against he she was lost in the thoughts of wonder about how if this is was it would feel like to be things like a mermaid, or if people could float on clouds in the sky, if this is what a rain cloud would feel like. She wished she lived in a kingdom deep within the sky or sea, just so she could always feel this way. "Carrie?" The familiar voice startled her to the point that she lost her floating concentration and fell into the water. She had no idea how long her best friend had actually been watching her before speaking up. "Kelly!? You just scared the shit out of me!" She gasped, pushing the water off her face and out of her hair. "Shit, sorry!" She laughed. "I-I just woke up and I uh... you were gone. Waited.. I waited. But you never came back. What are you doing?" Kel tilted her head curiously at the soaked girl. "I WAS swimming, what does it look like?" The blonde's brow raised curiously. "But it's the middle of the night?" All Carrie did was shrug before diving back under he water. Personally night swims were her favorite. She was trying her best to keep her cool, though she was feeling quite happy that Kelly was actually worried about her. "Well, I guess I'll let you be then." Taking the hint that the other girl wanted to be alone. "Kel?" Carried called for once she surfaced to the brunette's back. "Yeah?" Kelly looked over her shoulder. "Thanks for being concerned." She smiled at her, warmly. "Well, yeah, you're my best friend... just... leave note next time or something, yeah?" With a bigger smile, Carrie nodded, and chuckled, while lightly splashing water Kelly's way, making the shorter girl squeal and run. At least, Carrie's heart finally found a small peace of closure... a piece of peace that told her everything was going to be okay... One day. 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