Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/252573.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M, Other
  Fandom:
      Lewis_(TV)
  Relationship:
      James_Hathaway/Robert_Lewis, Young_James_/_Lord_Mortmaigne
  Additional Tags:
      Child_Abuse
  Series:
      Part 12 of The_Long_Road
  Stats:
      Published: 2011-09-12 Words: 823
****** Remember! ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     The past catches up with James
Lord Mortmaigne was thrusting his face into James’ and his spit was flecking
the boy’s face.
“You are not only very stupid, James, you are exceptionally ungrateful, now do
as you’re told or the consequences for your family will be serious.”
 
“But I don’t understand, Your Lordship, why do I have to take my shorts off to
play?”
 
“Don’t argue with me, boy!”
 
With a deep sigh that registered resignation along with sadness and slight
defiance, James turned away and began to undo his buttons. “Turn to face me,
boy!” His Lordship wasn’t capable of anything but barking orders when they were
in the music room. His face set in an impassive mask of non-emotion, James
turned to face the old man and continued to remove his shorts. The old man’s
eyes fixed greedily on the child’s crotch and his hand moved towards his own.
 
James’ only form of self defence was to refuse to look. If he kept his eyes
averted, he was at least in control of one part of his own body; something that
he knew wouldn’t last for very long.
 
“Now play, James. Practice the piano piece I showed you last time.” The child
looked for the piano stool but of course it had been removed to the other side
of the room so he had no option but to stand up to play. The old man moved in
behind him, his hands creeping down James’ arms to cover his fingers as they
played.
 
Hathaway woke up with a start, shouting and punching. He caught Robbie a hay
baler on the chest and his partner shot up in the bed, shaking him by the
shoulders.
 
“James, James, stop it. You’re OK. Wake up, I’m here. You’re dreaming.” Risking
a head-butt from the blonde head that was flinging around from side to side,
Robbie put his arms about James and pressed him close. “Stop it. Stop it. I’m
here, pet. I’m here.” He was stroking Hathaway’s head and rocking him. “There,
there, shh now, shhhhh.”
 
“Oh God! Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.” Robbie had never heard James
use that expression before. This was bad.
 
“Shh pet, you’re OK. I’m here.” James was sobbing uncontrollably and repeating
over and over “Sweet Jesus”.
 
Robbie had no idea what to do so he just held his lover and made soothing
noises while he looked for some tissues. Eventually James raised his head, his
eyes bright red and his nose streaming.
 
“I’m sorry, Robbie. I had a nightmare. It was the worst.” Robbie held out some
tissues and tried to clean James’ face for him. “I’m being punished. God is
punishing me because I was wicked and evil with you.”
 
“Don’t be daft, man.”
 
“It isn’t daft, Robbie, it’s obvious. I haven’t had a nightmare as vivid as
that in years. The first time I … fornicate with you, the dreams come back. I’m
being punished.” He burst into tears again.
 
Robbie tried to hold him but James shrugged him off, so Lewis padded out to the
kitchen to make a cup of tea.
 
When he came back in the bedroom James was searching in a drawer and he turned
around with a scourge in his hand. Robbie nearly dropped the tea.
 
“What the bloody hell are you doing with that, you stupid sod?”
 
James looked over his shoulder at him and said “Use it. Punish me. Come on –
you were quick enough to join me in my sin, now you can get me out of it –
punish me.”
 
Robbie grabbed the whip out of James’ hand and threw it to the other side of
the room, “Like bloody hell I will, James Hathaway. Sit down there and listen
to me.”
 
Sulkily, James sat on the bed and refused to look at Robbie who shook him by
the shoulders. “Look at me! Of course you’ve had nightmares tonight. What you
did with me this evening that took courage. You had to overcome all kinds of
psychological whatyamacalits … so it is preying on your mind. Did it feel
wrong? Eh? Did it James, when we were … at it? Eh? Did it feel all wrong then?”
 
Miserably, James shook his head but whispered, still not looking up “But it IS
wrong Robbie.”
 
Lewis sat on the bed next to him and put his arms around him. “Alright then,
pet. Nothing else ever, not if you don’t want to. I’ll be guided by you, OK?
Whatever you want, or don’t.”
James laid his head against Robbie’s chest and sobbed some more while his
partner stroked his back.
 
“Thanks. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Robbie. I …”
 
“I know, pet, and I love you too. Must do or I wouldn’t put up with yer
nonsense!” He pressed his lips to his partner’s brow and then guided him back
to bed. “Come on, pet. See if we can’t get you back to sleep.”
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!