Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/4980970. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Supernatural Relationship: Dean_Winchester/Sam_Winchester, Dean_Winchester/John_Winchester Character: Dean_Winchester, Sam_Winchester, John_Winchester, Castiel Additional Tags: Ignored_Safeword, Extremely_Dubious_Consent, Implied/Referenced_Underage Sex, Implied/Referenced_Rape/Non-con, Sibling_Incest, Parent/Child Incest, Hurt_Sam, Protective_Castiel Stats: Published: 2015-10-11 Words: 2540 ****** Remember When.. ****** by darkroses Summary John is mysteriously back from the dead and Sam is happy about that until he walks in on his father and Dean. Sam is upset and jealous, so Dean reminds him of times in their past. Sam doesn't want to think about those times. Dean thinks Sam is playing a game by shying away from him. Sam wasn’t sure how he felt about his father being back from the dead. An angel brought him back for reasons none of them knew. Dean thought it would be best for them to head back to the bunker to do research or what not until they figured out the why. Sam was okay with that but he was worried about their dad finding out about his relationship with Dean. He wasn’t sure why but he still wanted his father’s approval. He didn’t want to fight with his dad and he sensed that John wanted some alone time with Dean. Sam decided to retreat to his room. He didn’t really want to listen to his dad ask Dean why Dean didn’t kill him. Sam knew he went dark side and he knew Dean’s orders were to kill him. Dean didn’t, not that it would have mattered anyways. Lucifer would have just brought him back. Even Michael brought him back from the dead while wearing his father’s face. After about an hour of sitting his room, Sam decided he was thirsty. He stepped out of his room with the intention of just grabbing a glass of water. He stopped in the doorway to the library. Sam couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Dean was sitting on the table and John was standing in front of Dean. They were kissing and groping each other. Sam wasn’t sure what he felt about this. He felt anger, betrayal, and jealousy. He wondered how long this had been going on for. He wondered if John knew about him and Dean. Sam stood up straight and turned around. He retreated to his room. He closed the door behind him and slid against the door frame. He wondered how stupid he must be to think that he was special to Dean. Sam closed his eyes as angry tears threatened them. He was jealous and clearly not what his brother wanted if he ever was. ++ Dean found Sam in his room. It was Sam’s official room even though Sam usually never slept in there. It was so people wouldn’t ask questions. People like Kevin or Cas or Charlie. Dean knew Castiel probably knew and Kevin and Charlie were dead. He didn’t know who they were really hiding from anymore. Sam looked upset. He had his knees drawn up to his chest and his head was resting on his knees. Dean couldn’t see Sam’s face because of his mess of hair but Dean suspected Sam had been crying. Sam had the nickname Samantha for a reason. He was rather emotional. Dean closed and locked the door behind him. When the locked clicked Sam said angrily, “Leave. Go back to screwing around with Dad. I don’t want you here.” Dean ignored his brother and crawled up on the bed toward Sam. Sam seemed to push himself up closer to the wall or at least he tried to. There was really no place for Sam to go. Dean grinned and grabbed onto Sam’s ankle he pulled Sam’s leg down and drawled. “Oh come on Sammy, what makes you think I want to be with Dad?” Sam looked up at Dean finally. It confirmed what Dean thought, Sam had been crying. Sam’s voice was cold when he said, “Dean, I saw you making out with our father in the library. Really? Out of all the people to cheat on me with you pick our father? But what is worse is now I have to wonder if you were ever molested by him.” Dean grinned and straddled Sam. Sam tried to buck him off but that just made Dean laugh. Dean pinned Sam’s arms above his head and whispered into Sam’s ear. “I know a certain boy that was molested. What was it that I did to you? I remember, Sammy. I remember how scared you were. I remember when you told me that it felt funny..” Sam shoved forward and Dean could tell his was angry. He nearly yelled, “Dean, stop. It wasn’t… It wasn’t like that.” Dean chuckled and kept one of his hands securely around Sam’s wrists. With his other hand, Dean reached a hand under Sam’s shirts. He could feel that Sam was trembling. He ghosted his fingertips over Sam’s abdomen and chest. He started playing with Sam’s nipples. “Do you remember what you said the first time I did this?” Sam’s breath hitched. Then Dean continued, “You said not to touch you there. Do you remember what I did?” Sam nodded his head and Dean smiled. Sam muttered quietly, “You told me that I made you do it. You said that if I wanted to be good then I would let you since I started it.” Sam sounded desperate, “Dean, I really don’t want to talk about that and I don’t want you to touch me right now.” Dean reached over and pulled a pair of handcuffs out of Sam’s nightstand. He clicked them around Sam’s wrists to secure Sam’s hands to the headboard and Sam said insistently. “No.” Dean ignored him. Dean grinned and started to undo Sam’s pants. Sam still wasn’t really fighting him. Sure, Sam said the words but Sam wasn’t trying to fight him off. Dean knew he would win even if Sam tried. He was a little pleased with Sam’s submission. He spoke idly while he undid Sam’s pants. “The first time Dad touched me there, he told me that if I wanted to grow up to be a man I had to let him. It felt nice after I got used to it and after I got passed the fear. Sort of like you, I guess.” Sam kicked his legs with Dean’s words but that only helped Dean to remove Sam’s pants. Dean grinned as he pulled off the offending fabric. Sam did yell at him this time. “Dean, I said stop.” Dean frowned at Sam. He looked at his little brother’s dick and noticed Sam was not aroused at all. Dean was rock hard in his pants despite his earlier activities with their father. Dean shrugged at Sam’s words and wrapped a hand around Sam’s soft cock. He started stroking it to bring it to life whether Sam was on board with the idea or not. Dean commented, “You had the same reaction I did when Dad did this to me. I cried like a bitch but then I manned up. I did it to you because I wanted to know what Dad was feeling.” Dean shook his head and looked into Sam’s horrified eyes, “I felt powerful for once, Sammy.” Sam started struggling now and it was evident to Dean that Sam was actually trying to break free. It was amusing. Dean smiled as he pinned Sam’s legs down with his weight. Sam was angry. “Dammit Dean, why can’t you listen to me?” Sam looked at Dean and Dean knew Sammy was wanting some sort of explanation. Sam groaned and said dramatically, “Fine, you win. Pineapple.” Dean eyed Sam for a moment. Pineapple was their safe word when they were doing kinky things and Sam just used it. Dean frowned and decided that Sam was probably bluffing. He got off Sam and Sam actually dropped on the bed. Dean looked at Sam and realized his brother was letting himself relax. He used this opportunity to open the drawer on Sam’s nightstand again. This was where one of the keys for the handcuffs were and a simple ball gag. Dean stared in the drawer for a moment. He wanted to feel in control. He picked up the ball gag and turned back to Sam. Sam wasn’t looking at him. He was looking off at some point on the floor as he was taking deep breaths. Dean knew he was trying to calm down. Dean gently grabbed hold of Sam’s hair. He saw Sam tense almost immediately. Before Sam could say anything else, Dean shoved the gag in Sam’s mouth and secured it around his head. Sam was thrashing on the bed again. Dean knew the handcuffs were going to leave marks later. He smiled to himself. Dean sat back down on top of Sam. He took Sam’s still soft cock in his hand and started stroking again. He spoke softly, “Do you remember the first time you got off? I did that to you. You told me to stop and that you had to pee. You were so cute.” Sam was clutching and unclutching his fists. Dean added, “It wasn’t like that with Dad and me. I already stroked one out before he showed me how to do it right.” Sam started to get hard in his hand and when Dean looked up into Sam’s eyes he saw betrayal. He thought that if he just kept going he could get Sam to see things differently like when they were kids. ++ Sam was in Hell. He knew he must have died at some point and this was his Hell. He wondered briefly why Lucifer never taunted him like this. Or maybe he was still in the cage and this was Lucifer’s latest torture. Sam never knew that John molested Dean or that Dean got his ideas from John. Sam wasn’t sure what he thought at the time, all those years ago. He remembered being scared at first because of course, he was scared. He was trying something new, but then it felt good and Dean rewarded him when he did things. It just turned into a natural thing for him and he thought he was special to Dean. He stared up at the ceiling as Dean started groping him again. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get his dick to stay down with Dean’s actions. He wondered what that said about him as a person or if that made this any less of an assault. Sam refused to think that his brother, the one person that he loved, was in the process of raping him. Sam had no idea how they got to this point, Dean hadn’t acted like his since before their father died. After Sam started hunting with Dean again, they established a safe word. Between, them both going to Hell literally and liking it a little rough, they figured it was for the best. Sam trusted Dean completely but he knew Dean couldn’t read his mind. He had used his safeword before when Lucifer riding shotgun in his head. Dean always stopped and gave him whatever he needed. Sam didn’t understand why Dean didn’t stop this time. He decided that he wasn’t going to get away from Dean and if Dean wanted to do this then he was not going to actively participate. He went limp on the bed and waited for this to be over. Dean spread his legs and whispered, “Do you remember the first time I fucked you?” Yes, Sam did remember that. He remembered that very well and he chose not to think about it. The blinding pain and the hand clamped firmly around his mouth while sweet promises of how he was such a good boy and loved were whispered in his ear. Sam didn’t like to think of their first time when he thought of sex with Dean. Dean slipped a finger in and Sam knew Dean was going to fuck him tonight. It made him feel disgusted and ashamed. It made him wonder how he ever got to this point or if he ever really had a choice. Sex was the one thing that felt good in his whole messed up life some days. Dean made him feel good and Dean pushed him outside of his comfort zone to find that good feeling. Sam tried to convince himself that Dean never molested him like their father did to Dean. Dean was just trying to make Sam feel good and it required a little push. Sam was most certainly not molested. He wasn’t. He wondered if he told himself that enough times if he would believe it. Dean continued talking, “You were trembling like you are now.” Sam didn’t even realize he was trembling. “You cried like you are now.” Sam blinked a couple times and he could feel the wetness on his face. He didn’t know when that happened. “You were so beautiful and you still are, my Sammy.” Sam didn’t want to belong to anyone right now. He wanted to belong to himself. As Dean slipped a second finger in the chatter was worse. It was what caused Sam to use his safe word in the first place. “When Dad did this to me the first time, it was rough. It wasn’t like I was with you. I was gentle. I bled a little but I didn’t scream or cry. I was a man about it unlike you. Don’t get me wrong it hurt, but I didn’t want to be a bitch.” Dean chuckled, “I think of that every time I call you bitch.” Sam didn’t even try to hold his sobs in anymore. He was desperately thinking of a way, anyway for this to end. Then it dawned on him. Castiel was in the bunker. As Dean slipped a third finger inside Sam, Sam prayed to Castiel. “Cas, if you can hear me please come to my room. Dean is.. Dean is off his rocker. He is hurting me. Please, Castiel.” Sam closed his eyes and hoped that Castiel would save him. A few moments later there was a knock on the door followed by Castiel’s voice. “Dean? Sam? I received Sam’s call. Can one of you open the door?” Dean looked back at the door and grinned. He said devilishly, “No can do, Cas. You don’t want to see what is going on in here.” Sam felt Dean’s fingers still probing inside of him while he hoped that Castiel would do something besides stand on the other side of the door. He heard Castiel sigh and state firmly, “Dean, you’re in the process of sexually assaulting your brother. You should stop and open this door or I will open it. I understand that unwanted sexual advances can be very upsetting to humans.” Dean blinked a couple times at Castiel’s words and then he slowly pulled his fingers out. He muttered, “Sorry.” Then he threw a blanket over Sam’s waist and unlocked the door. Castiel walked past Dean after giving him a look. He took the gag out of Sam’s mouth and decided to use his angel mojo to undo the handcuffs. He didn’t know where the keys were. Sam was gasping for air and to his surprise, Sam was clutching the front of his trench coat. Castiel put two fingers to Sam’s head and healed his physical wounds. He regretted not being able to take away the emotional pain Sam was feeling. Sam let out a shaky breath and pulled away, “Thanks, Cas.” Dean was standing awkwardly in the corner of the room. Sam knew that Dean knew he screwed up. Dean asked nervously, “What can I do help you, Sammy? I didn’t mean to..” Sam shook his head and adjusted to a blanket to cover himself better. He steadied himself and said, “Never touch me again.”  Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!