Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/689434. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: F/M Fandom: Homestuck Relationship: Meenah_Peixes/Karkat_Vantas Character: Meenah_Peixes, Karkat_Vantas Additional Tags: Hermaphroditic_Trolls, Xenophilia Stats: Published: 2013-02-18 Words: 1229 ****** Red Snapper Seduction Techniques ****** by dogtier Summary Meenah shows her loyal threshecutioner her appreciation. Notes Written for Avionn as a late holiday gift. "Hey little guppy," Meenah said. "Don't be so shy." "I'm not shy," Karkat muttered. "Then why are you folding your arms over your chest like that?" Meenah teased. "Come on, I didn't tell you to take that stupid sweater off to not get a look at you." Karkat lowered his arms and Meenah whistled, circling him once before stopping right in front of him. "Not bad," she said, feeling his shoulders. "Nice start." "Start?" "Yeah," Meenah said. "You'll need a lot more bulking up before you can be my threshecutioner." "Oh," Karkat said. Meenah tipped his head up with her fingertips and kissed him. She was cold like ocean water and bit entirely too much. "Geez you're burning," Meenah said, hands slipping down to his belt. "Hey!" Karkat said. "Just giving a hand," Meenah said. "I don't think-" "Karkat!" Meenah said, stepping back. "How about I show you mine you show me yours?" "Um," Karkat said, staring as she teasingly reached down and squeezed the growing bulge in her pants. "Yeah, yeah, that sounds cool." "Sweet," Meenah said. She wasted no time slinging her top aside and kicking her pants off, having no qualms at all about her nudity as she stretched. Oh fuck she was big. Karkat suddenly wanted to take everything back. "Come on, your turn," Meenah said. "Don't be a sea slug." "Fine," Karkat muttered, undoing his belt and shoving his pants down unceremoniously. He stared at the floor. Best not to look while she sized him up and decided to ditch him. "Mmm," Meenah said. "You've got potential." "What?" Karkat asked, head going up to stare at Meenah. "Like I said before," Meenah said, crowding up to Karkat and placing her hands on his waist. "We'll whip you into shape in no time." "Really?" Karkat asked. "Shore thing," Meenah answered. "Come on, lay down and enjoy yourself." Karkat eyed Meenah's concupiscent couch nervously. Or bed? Was that what humans called it? Whatever it was called it was fluffy and covered in gold embroidered pillows and Meenah was shoving him up onto it and crawling after him. "Lay back," Meenah said. "Spread em out and relax." Karkat nodded numbly, face burning with embarrassment as Meenah slid between his legs, sniffing him curiously. "Huh," she said. "Mutants." "What?" Karkat asked. "Nothing," Meenah said, wrapping her fingers around his bulge and tugging lightly. "Don't worry your pretty head. Just let me handle things." Karkat bit his hand to keep back the squeak that wanted to escape his throat when Meenah pulled his bulge up and out of the way so she could lick his nook. "Come on," Meenah said between teasing laps of her tongue. "I wanna hear you." "Mee-" Karkat whined, voice rising in pitch as she flicked her tongue piercing against him. "Fuck!" Meenah laughed, sliding up and running the cold metal up the length of his bulge, rubbing the tip of the barbell in his slit until he thrashed. "You're like a fish on a line," Meenah said, tugging his bulge absently. "No I'm not," Karkat muttered. "Don't be that way, it's cute how you flop around," Meenah said. "Shut up," Karkat said. "Sure you're okay?" Meenah asked. "I'm great." "Really?" "Super fucking great. Spectacularly great." "Awesome," Meenah said. "Can I fuck you then?" "What?" "Come on!" Meenah said, nudging his nook with her knuckles. "This little guy wants to play." "Will you- um-" Karkat stuttered. "What?" Meenah asked. "It's just you're kinda-" He waved his hands helplessly. "What?" Meenah asked again. "Big," Karkat finally said. Meenah blinked. "Awwww," she cooed. "That's so cute." "It's not!" Karkat said. "Come on," Meenah said, rubbing him teasingly until he squirmed. "I'm sure a gritty, powerful threshecutioner trainee like you can handle it." "I don't-" "I'll let you be on top!" Meenah said. "Really?" "Really." Karkat pictured Meenah laying under him, moaning in pleasure while he- yeah yeah he could be into that. "Okay," Karkat said. "Awesome!" she said. She scooted up the couch and propped herself up against the pillow pile. She patted her lap. "So I just-" Karkat said. "Climb on?" "Pretty much," Meenah said. "Not complicated." "Right," Karkat said, walking on his knees over to straddle her. "Simplest thing in the world." "Hold on a minute," she said, reaching out and twining her bulge with his. "My girl wants to say hi." "Oh," Karkat said. "Oh hellooooooo." Meenah laughed and pulled Karkat in to lean against her chest. She petted his hair, scratching the sensitive skin around his horns while stroking his bulge slowly. "That's it," she said. "Just relax." "Alright," Karkat purred. "That's nice." "We can just do this if you'd like," Meenah said. "No," Karkat said, leaning back. "No, I'm cool. I can handle it." "You're the best, Karkles," Meenah said. Her bulge released his and moved to find his nook. "Alright, just go at your own pace." The first few inches were easy, his nook was soaking wet and everything slid naturally, but he got nervous after that and clenched down, suddenly aware that this was real. He was doing it. Holy fuck. "Oh, oh," Karkat said. "Oh fuck." "You okay?" Meenah asked. "Look, if you can't it's fine-" "No!" Karkat said. "Just give me a minute I want to-" He shifted and Meenah gritted her teeth to stay silent and refrain from moving. If he just concentrated on willing his muscles to unclench he could sink down and- yeah. Oh yeah that was good. "Fuck," he said again. "Good fuck?" "Good fuck." "Can I move?" Meenah asked. "Or do you want to handle that?" "You can- move inside? Some?" he said. She pulsed her bulge in him and he squirmed. "Yeah, like that." "Can you lift your hips?" Meenah asked. "Yeah, just like that. Roll them. You're a natural." "Thanks," Karkat said, feeling stupid. Fuck dumb, right? That's what they called it? "You think you can get in me too?" Meenah asked. "No, no, too- this is good," Karkat said. "Alright," Meenah said, reaching between them to squeeze Karkat's bulge. "Next time though, me and you big guy." Oh fuck. Next time. That thought was enough to break him. He squeaked out something about a bucket right before embarrassing himself all over Meenah's chest. His face burned but Meenah just growled and pulled him in for a kiss. "You're amazing," she said, jerking him through his orgasm. "Don't let anyone tell you differently." Her own bulge jerked inside his spasming nook, shooting her own genetic fluid out to mix with his own. Fuck they were ruining her nice couch. He slumped against her. "You still with me?" Meenah asked. "Mmhhmmm," he muttered. "Right, up you go," she said, gently lifting his hips off her retracting bulge and setting him at her side. He curled automatically against her, suddenly too tired to be embarrassed at how he purred at the touch of her hand on his horns again. "It's just," Karkat said sleepily. "I find it hard to believe." "Hard to believe what?" "That this happened. That you're actually into me." "Come on, anyone with half a brain should be into you, nubby shouts. You're a cool fish." "Yeah?" "Sure thing, guppy," she said. "Come on, get some shut eye. You've got enough bags on your face." "Right," Karkat said, concerns about dream bubbles inside dream bubbles be damned, and passed out. 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