Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/9446972.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Metalocalypse
  Relationship:
      Skwisgaar_Skwigelf/Toki_Wartooth, Pickles_the_Drummer/Skwisgaar_Skwigelf,
      Nathan_Explosion/Skwisgaar_Skwigelf, William_Murderface/Skwisgaar
      Skwigelf, Magnus_Hammersmith/Skwisgaar_Skwigelf, Charles_Foster
      Offdensen/Skwisgaar_Skwigelf, Skwisgaar_Skwigelf/Original_Female
      Character(s), Skwisgaar_Skwigelf/Original_Male_Character(s), Skwisgaar
      Skwigelf/Toki_Wartooth/William_Murderface
  Character:
      Skwisgaar_Skwigelf, Toki_Wartooth, Nathan_Explosion, Pickles_the_Drummer,
      William_Murderface, Charles_Foster_Offdensen, Magnus_Hammersmith,
      Original_Female_Character(s), Original_Male_Character(s), Klokateers_
      (Metalocalypse), Serveta_Skwigelf
  Additional Tags:
      Ficlet_Collection, Suicide_Attempt, Self-Harm
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-01-24 Words: 1838
****** Random Word Generator: Skwisgaar Edition ******
by Pearly_Pornography
Summary
     More randomly-generated ficlets for your soul.
Notes
     im??? bad at writing skwisgaar
     note that this is very sex-heavy because... it's skwisgaar
[Shine]
People used to tell him he had glorious glimmering eyes. He didn't really care
all that much. He already knew that, even if his eyes were the color of dog
shit in a pool of melted human flesh, the rest of him would be beautiful enough
to satiate others.
 
[Rust]
The pipes outside were turning red. Sometimes he'd run out into the snow to
look at them, chipping the rust off of the shiny metal. After awhile it
wouldn't chip, it was stuck there forever. He couldn't help but be intrigued by
the deterioration, the consumption of the metal until the pipes were replaced,
allowing the process to start all over again. "I," he said, "will not rust, and
will not be replaced". (Of course, his accent was far thicker than that.)
 
[Thick]
He totally had sex with Murderface's boyfriend. Because he was super thick down
there, he could tell. That was the last time he bottomed for a very, very long
time. He was too damn thick. Thick like the cotton that must've been in his
ears when he said 'Magnus, slows downs'. He was too young to appreciate it.
 
[Floral]
He hated mom's floral curtains. They were so ugly. The only reason she even
bought curtains was to block out the aggressive sex she'd have during the day.
It was loud and gross and obnoxious and he hated it. But if he pulled them
back, the people outside might see the kind of woman he lived with. He
shuddered just thinking about it. "Skwisgaar's mom's a slut!", they'd say. He
couldn't take that.
 
[Dust]
Pickles would grumble at him a lot about all of the crumbs and dust he'd leave
on the floor. "You never tells Natens to cleans de floors," he said, "or
Moidaface, or Tokis. Why de fucks ams I differents?" Pickles looked him in the
eye. "Because you're the only one of them who don't got the IQ of a kidney bean
is why." Skwisgaar wasn't sure if that was a compliment.
 
[Night]
He didn't want to carry Toki. It'd hurt his arms. But he stood by Nathan,
staring into the boundless night sky, occasionally tugging on Toki's arm to
make sure he was alive. "You sees dat? Dat ams de bigs dippors." Toki seemed
pleased enough. "If you close you's eyes, don't go into de stars, Tokis." "I
amn'ts goin's to." He knew, but he was afraid.
 
[Groundwave]
Once he tried to start his own radio station with a few of his buddies. Just
dick around, play some punk rock music, talk over the radio, laugh, have a good
time. But the equipment they got didn't end up working, so they all gave up.
Little did Skwisgaar know his sound would be heard for miles and miles in a few
years.
 
[Decadence]
A thing that pained Skwisgaar more than anything was watching Murderface try
not to eat food at parties. The kinds of elegant parties with amazing wine and
delicious food. It actually hurt watching the poor kid stare at the snack
tables with a hand shoved below his shirt, until finally giving into his animal
urges and stuffing his face. It was sad, the way he'd lock himself up later on,
and he'd hear Toki through the doors, saying, "It ain't so bads! You's allowed
to lives a little." It hurt, knowing something so basic could bring a guy like
him to tears. Sometimes Skwisgaar wished he could come in and help, but
honestly, he had similar problems himself.
 
[Destruction]
There was nothing more self-destructive than being a pure hedonist, he'd heard
Charles say. But he didn't believe it. Doing drugs until the sun rose, and
drinking until it fell. Having endless hours of non-stop sex until his body
collapsed in bed, cramped up from all of the effort he had to put out. Eating
whatever he wanted, sprawling out onto beds getting oily massages, handing
himself over to the soft fingers of Satan himself. Even if it was destructive,
it felt too damn good.
 
[Twelve]
He was twelve when he fell in the hole. It was cold and scary. But the
mechanical beast beckoned him, painted in black with thick, steel strings. His
fingers itched to lay a hand on it, to play it. His heart pounded, his little
child heart. And those tiny, twelve-year-old fingers made music for the wolves
up above.
 
[Absorbable]
He hated sponging off the counters back home. All of the sponges they had
barely even worked. One time in high school he screamed at his mother, "Why
don't you cleans it? You's misused cunts ams spongier dens dese 'tings." She
smacked him. (Which she did pretty rarely, to be fair.) But the next day, she
cleaned the counters for him.
 
[Daring]
"You sures abouts dis?" "Completely sure." He'd never even dreamed of having
Nathan like this. With his arms tied above his head, hair covering his
shoulders and legs spread out. It was like dealing with a caged tiger.
Nervously he ran a finger along his thigh, expecting a bite or a negative
response, but instead getting a low grunt of approval. Did he dare to go
further? Oh yes. Oh yes he did!
 
[Conquest]
He was a king. He was a king of the boys, an absolute king. THE king. He was
determined, absolutely determined with a capital D, to make Murderface know
that tonight. He'd be sure to make him worship every inch of his body before
they finally got to business. This was just par for the course. Let him learn
his place.
 
[Connectedness]
He leaned back next to Charles in bed, accepting him as his father figure for
the night. He was afraid of whatever he saw in his dreams, instead latching
onto his manager, who quietly scratched the back of his neck whilst reading a
new novel. "There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm here." He closed his eyes,
nuzzling further into Charles' side. "There there." He wished he had this
feeling forever. He wished, oh he wished he was able to experience the
connection of a father and son like he was right now.
 
[Cosmonaut]
"I wanna be an aschtronaut." He remembered hearing William say way back when.
"Then I could fly my assch outta here." "That'd be pretty cool, Willy." Magnus
patted his back. Skwisgaar wrinkled his nose. William would be an AWFUL
astronaut.
 
[Injustice]
He defended women about as often as he defended men. That was to say, only when
he felt it was right. People said it was an injustice, that he stood against
his mother for being a whore. They were wrong. They had to be. He was
different, right? He would protect his girlfriend, sure, but not his stupid
fucking mom!
 
[Cell]
He'd never been to jail, but sometimes his house felt like one. When mom said
he couldn't go out, he just felt trapped, like a prisoner. He could hear the
moans of the female convict Serveta downstairs, interrupting his sleep on the
regular. He hated being in prison. He wanted out. But the windows to his
bedroom were too high up, and downstairs the prison guards were watching his
every move as he passed by.
 
[Container]
There was nothing wrong swapping urine containers for a doctor's test. He
didn't want any of them to find anything weird in his piss. He was scared.
Without a word, he reached behind Nathan, swapping the containers while he was
preoccupied. No way would he be diagnosed with any weird STDs today.
 
[Simple]
Gunnie was a simple girl. Skwisgaar liked that about her. She was poised and
quiet, but well-mannered. They'd talk for hours outside and only had sex in
missionary. Sometimes he wondered where his life would have gone if they had
stayed together. But that was long past, and he could never dream of being as
simple as she was.
 
[Exclusive]
Having sex with Klokateers was an exclusive gift. It felt so damn good to have
someone inside him again. Someone unquestioning. His hips twitched, he felt
like he was on fire, fingers grabbing at the black fabric of the other person's
shirt. "Goods, goods... goods, you's so goods, 356." "Thank you, sire." His
voice didn't even waver. How must it have felt, to see his boss, the collected
sex-addict Skwisgaar Skwigelf, all undone in front of him, sweating and
panting? That was an exclusive gift back to him.
 
[Child]
Skwisgaar never spoke with any of his children. He didn't consider them
Skwigelfs, and had no interest in connecting with their mothers. It was their
faults they didn't remind him to wrap his dick first, Christ. But sometimes
he'd get letters. Sometimes he'd get letters from the vengeful Skwigelf spawn,
saying, "I hope you regret what you've done". He was scared of his own
children.
 
[Binge]
Nathan liked to binge-eat. He'd eat and eat until there was hardly anything
left. Murderface was similar, and also binged on self-harm, loving the taste of
his own blood. Toki would binge-watch cartoons when he was sad, usually
whatever Murderface would rent for fun. Obviously Pickles would binge-drink and
do drugs. Skwisgaar only binged on sex. Sex with his fans, sex with his
servants, and the best kind, sex with his band and his manager.
 
[Judgement]
Sometimes Skwisgaar would drink. Usually he'd respond to any conversation with
screaming, "Don't looks at me, assholes!" It was shameful and he knew it.
Despite being one of the most famous people in the world, he fucking hated
himself as much as any other member of this stupid band.
 
[Concept]
It was an awful idea. Having a drinking contest with Pickles was a terrible,
awful idea. But having his face in Pickles' lap, hair thrown everywhere and
fingers on his face, caressing all the bad feelings out of his system, almost
made it all worth it. The way he gently ran his fingernails down his face,
allowing him to settle, made it much less painful to get through.
 
[Ambiguous]
Toki's sexuality was a mystery to him. He asked, "Are you gays?" and Toki
responded with a shrug. "I loves everyones!" He truly did love everyone,
however, Skwisgaar was growing just as close to Murderface as he was to Toki.
And his sexuality was NOT a mystery.
 
[Graceful]
People used to tell Skwisgaar he'd be good at ballet. He always thought it was
dumb. Ballet was for girls and lame-ass prettyboys, but not for a punk badass
like him. But finding that Pickles, his idol and secondary father figure, did
ballet when he was younger, suddenly made Skwisgaar wish he had tried it out.
 
[Jump]
One quick jump off Mordhaus. He knew it'd be easy. One quick fall and
everything would be over. But when he got up there he realized Murderface was
already there, with a similar idea, and Nathan was trying to talk him down. No
use playing the same game twice. He went back inside. One quick jump and it'd
be over, but not when someone was watching him.
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