Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/246511. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Football_RPF Relationship: Xabi_Alonso/Steven_Gerrard Character: Xabi_Alonso, Steven_Gerrard Additional Tags: Alternate_Universe_-_Fusion, Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Alternate Universe, Explicit_Sexual_Content, Anal_Sex, Oral_Sex, Underage_Sex Stats: Published: 2011-08-29 Words: 20128 ****** Quidditch, Charms, and Firewhiskey ****** by secondstar Summary Hogwarts!AU where Steven Gerrard is the captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team and Xabi is a Gryffindor Chaser. They start out as friends with benefits but slowly they both realize they want something more. Neither wants to be the one to broach the topic of changing what they have. Notes thank you to livejournal user albion_lass for beta'ing! The second day of tryouts for the Hufflepuff Quidditch team went smoothly, except for the fact that Daniel Agger didn’t show up for them. Steven Gerrard, Captain and Chaser of the team, was furious. He told the team that if they wanted to keep their starting positions, that they had to show up for tryouts. With a look of frustration plastered across his face, he stormed into the Year 6 boys’ dormitory. Fernando Torres was sitting cross-legged on his bed, his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands as he read a book in his lap. His eyes shifted up as he looked at Steven, still in his quidditch gear, towering over him. “Hi, Stevie.” Fernando said. “Where is Dagger?” Steven asked, his fists clenched. Fernando shrugged. “I’m not his mum.” He mumbled as he looked back down at his book and flipped the page. “Weren’t tryouts just now?” He asked. Steve growled. “They were.” “Shouldn’t he have been at them, then?” He asked, sighing, not really seeing why Steven was upset. Steven gritted his teeth and looked around the dormitory. “Yes, if he wants his bloody spot you think he would have shown up. If you see him, tell him to come find me.” Steven said as he walked out, stomping down the stone steps on the way to the Year 7’s dormitory. When he entered, he started stripping his gear off, tossing it into a pile by his bed. The room that he shared with the other Year 7 boys, Pepe Reina, Glen Johnson, Lucas Leiva and Jamie Carragher, was vacant because it was such a nice day out. Right after tryouts Pepe, Lucas, and Jamie, who were also on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, decided to take an impromptu jump into the lake to cool off. Steven walked into the bathroom and turned the water on, wanting to take a quick shower and wash the dirt away. Some of the tryouts for Chaser didn’t go so well and he had to make pretty steep dives for the Quaffle, resulting in him tumbling onto the ground off his broom. His broom was older, a silver arrow that belonged to his dad. He loved his broom, he didn’t care if others made fun of him for it. It got him where he needed to go and that was all that mattered to him. The day his father gave him the broom was the best day of his life, well... right after the day that he made the team and then became Captain. Quidditch was Steven’s life. He breathed it. He went to sleep thinking about it, woke up wanting to play it. His favorite team, the Falmouth Falcons, came in second the previous season and his father took him to the final match of the season, which they won. He screamed himself hoarse when the snitch was caught, jumping up and down with his older brother, Paul. Steven thought about his summer as he grabbed the soap, washing and rinsing himself off. He spent it as he usually did, mixed in with Muggles. His father, a wizard, and his mother, a Squib, loved living surrounded by Muggles. It was a culture shock, whenever he went home for the holidays. His father said it was easier because it didn’t make his mother feel like less of a person when she was surrounded by Muggles. Steven could understand that. No one at school knew his mother was a Squib, he didn’t want them saying anything bad about her. He loved his mom and people ran their mouths without thinking, never knowing when to shut up. When he stepped out of the shower the others had returned from the lake. With a towel wrapped around his waist, he opened his trunk and got out clean clothes. “You find Dagger?” Jamie Carragher, Steven’s best friend, asked. Steven shook his head. He slipped on his collared shirt and started buttoning it as he thought about reasons why Daniel Agger would skip tryouts. It wasn’t like him. Steven knew he cared about his spot on the team, he knew it was just about the only thing that Daniel Agger cared about. Steven asked Daniel’s best friend and fellow 6th Year, Martin Skrtel, why he wasn’t at practice but he had no idea. “No, he isn’t in his dormitory.” Steven mumbled as he pulled an under shirt over his head. “I will grab him at dinner.” He said as he pulled his pants on then ran his fingers through his hair. “I have to go to the library. I haven’t started my essay for Defense that Professor Guardiola gave me to do for being late the first day of classes.” Steven sneered as he remembered how a first year asked him for directions to the potions classrooms. Incidentally, it made Steven late. Jamie made a face. “Good luck.” He said as Steven grabbed his bag, full of books and parchment, leaving his friends to their free evening. He had an hour before dinner, he could get a good head start if he found a quiet corner of the library to research. Since it was such a nice afternoon, the library was practically vacant. Steven set his bag down on an empty table and went to go find the book he needed. He had the name of it written on a piece of paper. Professor Guardiola was very specific on what he wanted Steven to write about. The history of Aurors and their influence in the Ministry of Magic in the early 1800’s. Steven rolled his eyes. Such a specific prompt, and two rolls of parchment... all for one tardy! He called favoritism from the Slytherin Head of House. When he got to where the book should be, he did a double take. It wasn’t there. Who else in this school would need that book? He looked around, seeing if anyone was around. Only a few people were in the library. One of them, a chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, was sitting in a chair reading. Steven narrowed his eyes at him as he walked up. The Gryffindor looked up at him, confusion strewn across his face. He had the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows and his tie was loose. “Yes?” He asked. Steven gave a small smile. “That wouldn’t happen to be ‘The History of Aurors’ would it?” Steven asked him. Xabi Alonso raised an eyebrow at the Hufflepuff Captain. “It is, why do you ask?” The Hufflepuff licked his lips. “Professor Guardiola asked me to write an essay using that book.” He said, exasperation seeped through is words. Xabi closed the book and handed it to him. “No worries, good luck with the essay. When is it due?” He asked. Steven took the book from him, smiling a little. “Tomorrow.” “Put it off?” He asked. Steven nodded. “Tryouts.” He said as he started turning, heading towards his table. “Thanks.” He added as an afterthought. “Last thing you need is for me to tell you that I had it first.” Xabi said, smirking a little as he stood up to find another book. “I grabbed it randomly anyways.” “Rather odd book to read for fun.” “My father is an Auror.” Xabi said bluntly. “He wants me to be one too.” Steven stopped walking. An Auror. Steven would like to be an Auror. He is taking the classes to become one, practically a full load as a 7th Year. He didn’t have many classes with the Gryffindor 7th Years. “Are you on track for it?” He asked. Xabi shook his head. “Sort of, I would rather...” He trailed off. “Not important. Good luck with the essay.” He said as he walked down an aisle. Steven made a face. That was weird. He walked back to his table and sat down, getting out a piece of parchment and a quill. He still had forty five minutes before dinner. Time went by fast and he still had a large portion of his essay to do. He packed his things up quickly, remembering he needed to talk to Daniel. He put the book back, knowing he was going to be back straight after dinner. He walked past where Xabi had been sitting, the space was now empty. He didn’t blame him. He didn’t like being in the library longer than he needed to be. He got to the Great Hall late, squeezing in next to Jamie Carragher and a 6th year girl. “Thought you got lost.” Jamie quipped as Steven put a piece of chicken and a helping of potatoes on his plate. “No, lost track of time.” “We were going to play poker after dinner.” Jamie said. “In the common room. Take the 4th Years’ money.” He grinned. Steven shook his head. “I still have most of the essay to do.” He sighed as he took a bite of his food. He looked down the table, his eyes landing on Daniel Agger. He glared. He got up, leaving his plate full of food, and walked over to Daniel, standing over him. “Dagger.” Steven said, getting his attention. Daniel turned his head, nodding up at his Captain. “Stevie.” “Why weren’t you at tryouts?” He asked. Daniel’s eyes narrowed. “I was in detention. Professor Del Bosque. Again.” Steven rolled his eyes. “Danny, it is the third week of school.” “Yeah.” “You can’t just miss tryouts.” “I know.” “If you want-” “Fuck, Stevie. I know.” Daniel said, raising his voice. Steven shut up. He looked at who Daniel was sitting with, a couple of 5th Years. Martin Kelly, one of the only 5th Years that was in 7th Year Arithmancy, was one of them. “Kelly.” Steven said in acknowledgement. Martin smiled at him warmly. “Gerrard.” Daniel looked at them. “You two know each other?” He asked. Steven rolled his eyes. “Dagger, he is a Hufflepuff.” Daniel glared at Steven. “Just because you didn’t know who I was last week doesn’t mean everyone else doesn’t know me.” Martin quipped. Daniel smirked at the 5th year then looked back at Steven. “Sorry I didn’t tell you about detention. Slipped my mind.” “Don’t you miss tomorrow’s tryouts or I will give your spot to Martin Skrtel.” Steven warned. Daniel sneered. “You wouldn’t.” “I would. So don’t do stupid shit anymore.” Steven said as he walked back down the table. Before he sat down he noticed Xabi Alonso sitting at the Gryffindor table, sitting right across from him. Xabi smiled at him, nodding his head in acknowledgement. Steven returned it in kind as he sat and took a bite of his chicken. Steven watched Xabi laugh for a moment at something that Iker Casillas, the Captain of Gryffindor’s Quidditch team and 7th Year, just said. Steven noticed that his tie was straightened and his sleeves were buttoned at his wrists, as they should be. Xabi’s eyes traveled over and met Steven’s. He looked away. “What did Dagger say?” Jamie asked him. “What?” Steven asked, his mind lost in some deep recess of thoughts and nonthoughts of Xabi’s mouth and what it could probably do. Jamie rolled his eyes at Steven. “Danny. What did he say?” “Fucking had detention.” Steven said, his eyes traveling back to Xabi. He sighed, finishing his plate and standing up. “I have to get back to the library.” “You just sat down.” Jamie pouted. Steven stuck his tongue out at him and grabbed his side. “I need to finish that essay.” Steven said over his shoulder as he rushed out of the dining hall with one last look back to the Gryffindor table. Xabi was gone. Brow furrowed, Steven turned a corner and ran straight into him. “Shit, sorry.” Steven said, putting a hand on Xabi’s arm as he backed away from him. Xabi was smiling. “Heading back to the library?” Xabi asked, his voice smooth and knowing that was indeed, where Steven was headed. Steven nodded, his hand clutching at his bag. “Yeah, barely started on that essay.” “Want company?” Xabi asked. Steven shrugged. Xabi seemed to always have a smirk across his face. “I won’t bother you if you don’t want me to.” “No, I just need to finish this tonight.” Steven said as they walked. “It is due first thing in the morning.” “I know, I’m in that class.” “You are?” Steven felt bad. It wasn’t that he didn’t pay attention to class, he did. He just didn’t usually care about the Gryffindors that they shared the class with. Xabi laughed. “I sit in the back.” Steven could tell he was blushing. He cleared his throat, hoping Xabi wouldn’t notice. Xabi noticed. He bit his lip as they walked towards the library in silence. They sat at the same table Steven was occupying before dinner. Steven set his bag down and went to get the book. Xabi leaned back in the chair, his knees on the table, balancing himself as he tilted back on two legs. He loosened his tie and looked up at the ceiling, sighing. He closed his eyes for a moment, emptying his mind of all thoughts. When Steven walked back up to the table he stared at Xabi, his arms hanging limply at his side, his head tilted back, his adam’s apple prominent and inviting. Steven licked his lips as he accidentally dropped the book onto the table a little louder than was necessary. Xabi opened his eyes, lifting his head to look at Steven. “How many rolls of parchment does it need to be?” Xabi asked, leaning back further in the chair, his fingers reaching up and grasping at the edge of the table to keep balance. “Two.” “How much do you have?” “Is this the Inquisition?” Steven chided. Xabi huffed. “Half a sheet.” Steven mumbled. Xabi’s chair crashed back to the ground as he sat upright. “If you finish before nine we should go for a ride.” Xabi suggested. Steven stared blankly at Xabi. “What? It is really nice out.” He said nonchalantly. “Yeah, the breeze would feel great.” Steven whispered as he wrote a few sentences with his quill. He really wanted to get on his broom. He wanted to fly, to not be in the library. Xabi suggesting it was such a tease. Now Steven was distracted. Xabi leaned forward, crossing his arms and resting them on the table, then his head on his arms. Steven couldn’t help but look at him. “You don’t need to be here if you’re bored.” “Didn’t say I was bored.” Xabi said as he turned his head towards Steven, his lips brushing against his arms as he looked up at him. Xabi stretched an arm out and began making an invisible pattern on the table with his finger as he tilted his head to the side, hiding his mouth with his forearm as his head rested against the crook of his elbow. Steven licked his lips. “Waiting to go flying.” He said, a smile spreading across his face. Xabi grabbed one of the discarded books that were laying on the table, looking through it, not really reading, just seeing if anything caught his eye. “You can go.” Steven said as he wrote more. Why was Xabi waiting for him, anyways? It wasn’t like they ever really talked before this. “No, I am waiting.” He said as he stopped flipping through the book, finding something of interest. Steven thought he sounded confident, carefree. Steven’s mind was full of essays, responsibilities, and now the Gryffindor sitting next to him. He was stressed. “Did you guys do tryouts?” Steven asked, not liking the silence. Xabi looked back over at Steven and shrugged. “Yeah but Iker said if we were already on the team we didn’t need to go.” “Oh.” Steven said, his eyes narrowing. How would they know if they worked well with the team? “We just needed a new Chaser and Seeker. Raul and Guti graduated.” “Raul was a great Seeker.” Steven said as he wrote faster, really wanting to get on his broom. Xabi nodded lazily. “Are you sure you aren’t bored?” Steven asked. He was on his second roll of parchment. It was going much faster with Xabi sitting next to him, taunting him with a broomstick ride. “Positive. Just have a lot on my mind.” Xabi mumbled as he buried his face into the crook of his arm before he sat up and stretched, the same smile as before spreading across his face. Steven pursed his lips together as he forced himself not to look at Xabi. He needed to finish this paper. After a while, Xabi got up and found another random book to flip through that he found interesting as he waited for Steven to finish. When he was done, Steven did a quick drying spell on the ink so that he could roll up the essay as quick as possible. Xabi took Steven’s book as he was packing his things, putting it back for him. Silently, they walked out onto the grounds, the sun setting behind them. They separated, going into their own team’s locker rooms to get their brooms. Xabi came out with a Nimbus. It looked sleek and new next to Steven’s Silver Arrow but he didn’t care. They weren’t there for competition, they were there to fly. Steven set his bag down and mounted his broom, immediately soaring into the air. Steven barely made it back to the Hufflepuff common room before curfew. They were up in the air until the last possible minute. Silent companionship accompanied them as they did tricks in the air, watching each other as they did them. They weren't really trying to outshine the other, just showing what they could do. Xabi did an awesome dive that Steven wanted to try sometime when he was alone, not with eyes watching. It came close to the ground and had him twisting as he went down. It looked so amazing Steven couldn't help but clap when Xabi was done with it. He heard Xabi's laughter fill the night air as he flew back up towards Steven, slowing as he got closer. “My older brother Mikel taught me that.” He said, beaming. “It was the first trick I ever learned.” Steven was in awe. If that was his first trick, he wanted to see what else he could do. “Was he a Gryffindor?” Steven asked. His older brother, Paul, had also been a Hufflepuff. Such wasn't the case in all families, though. Xabi shook his head. “No, he was a Ravenclaw like my mother. My father was a Gryffindor, though.” Xabi whispered as he stared off into the distance. “He works at Gringotts now.” Xabi said, looking back at Steven with that easy smile across his face, the one that Steven realized meant that Xabi didn't really feel like smiling at all. If Xabi was waiting for Steven to say what houses his parents were in, he didn't make it seem like it. Steven didn't want to lie to Xabi and tell him his mother was a Muggle, but he didn't want to tell him that she was a Squib, either. “Gringotts, eh?” Steven didn't know what to say, he wanted to avoid talk of his parents at all costs. Xabi nodded. “Yeah he works somewhere in Germany.” Xabi said, shrugging. “I am not really sure what he does to be honest.” He laughed lightly. Before they knew it, they were parting ways. “That was fun.” Xabi said they walked into the castle, about to go their separate ways. Steven smiled. “It was a good way to get my mind off of... everything.” He said, sighing slightly as he said it. Xabi nodded. “Totally.” He waved his hand behind him as he started walking away. “Let's do something like that again sometime.” He called out over his shoulder. Steven barely got out a 'yeah' before Xabi turned a corner. Now Steven was back with his fellow Hufflepuffs who, in his absence for the night, did as they said they were going to do: host a poker game. The common room had a massive table in the middle which was usually full of people studying. Now it was packed with Hufflepuffs of various years spending their money. Steven tried to slip by unnoticed. He had no such luck. “Stevie! Just in time. Want me to deal you in?” Pepe Reina asked. Steven made a face and put a hand up. “No thanks, Pepe. I am just going to head up.” He said as he walked by the table. Pepe shrugged. Jamie Carragher stopped Steven as he passed. “Come on, lad. Your stress level is through the roof. You need to let loose a little.” He said as his head moved, following Steven. When Steven didn't stop Jamie grunted. “Fine, be a lameass.” He called out. Steven gestured at Jamie, causing a few hoots and hollers as he rounded a corner, heading towards his dormitory. Xabi ascended the moving stairs quickly, skipping steps as he went. He was cutting it close to curfew and he didn't want to be found roaming the halls once the clock struck nine, not when he was a prefect. That wouldn't look good, a prefect being out on a night when he wasn't patrolling the halls. Xabi shoved his hands in his pockets as he quickened his pace, practically jogging up the stairs. He stood in front of the picture of the Fat Lady for a few moments as he caught his breath. She was staring at him, waiting for him to say the password. He licked his lips as he took one final, long breath before he whispered 'chocolate cauldron'. The door opened as he rolled his eyes. They needed a better password, it was only the beginning of the year and they already had a horrible password. He stepped through the door behind the picture to find a mostly empty common room, sans a few people studying by the fire. One of them was Iker Casillas, one of his closest friends. Iker looked up from his book and made a confused face. “Where have you been?” He asked. “You disappeared at dinner.” “Library.” Xabi answered, about to walk by Iker and head up to their dormitory. The look in Iker's eyes made him stop and sit in a comfy chair across from him. Xabi plopped down, his hands still in his pockets as he raised an eyebrow at Iker. “What?” He asked, monotoned. Iker glared at him as he tilted his head to the side. “You liar. You were flying.” He stated. Xabi placed his tongue between his lips, not really sticking it out. “Your hair. It only looks like that after you fly.” “Glad you're obsessed with my hair.” He said flatly. “You are in such a funk. Get the fuck away from me.” Iker said, shooing Xabi away. Xabi got up and walked away, not in the mood. He hadn't been in the mood for anything since school started. Before now, he was perfectly fine with the life his father wanted for him, but now... he didn't want it. He didn't want to be an Auror and he didn't want to be a Prefect. He just wanted to be himself and he didn't want anyone to tell him to be something else. His life was laid out before him and he wanted to run in the other direction. His life revolved around pleasing others and he felt like he would snap at any moment. He was now desperately grasping onto what little left of himself he had, not wanting to let it go. The weight of others' decisions bore down on him and it was becoming too much. Now that he was in his final year, everything was coming to an end. Not only was he taking all of the classes to become an Auror, like his father wanted, but he also was taking the classes that he wanted to take, for himself. Arithmancy and Ancient Runes were not on the curriculum for Aurors, but he wanted to take them as soon as they were offered to him. He loved Charms and Ancient Runes the most. He loved the math in Arithmancy, loved numbers and figuring out what they meant when they pertained to peoples lives. Xabi fell into his bed, his feet hanging off the edge as his face buried itself in his blanket. His hands were still in his pockets. He didn't know how long he was like that before he heard someone clear their throat. “Hmm?” Xabi said, his voice muffled by the blanket. “Are you OK?” The voice was Alvaro Arbeloa's. Someone snorted. That was Raul Albiol. Alvaro was a beater on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Alvaro and Raul were inseparable and were both 7th Years along with Xabi, Iker, and Gonzalo Higuain, the new Seeker for Gryffindor. Xabi made an unintelligible noise as a response before he rolled over onto his back, his feet finding the floor. “Well?” Alvaro asked, not accepting a grunt as an answer. “Yes, Alvaro. I am.” “You were like that for a good five minutes.” “Maybe I was sleeping.” “You weren't, though.” He stated. Xabi sighed, sitting up. He had Potions homework to do, and Charms. He thought about the library, about sitting next to Steven... not working. He thought about flying, he thought about Steven. Steven Gerrard, the infamous Hufflepuff Captain. Someone quiet, who was known to keep to himself, always had his game face on, who lived and breathed Quidditch. He thought about Steven blushing, about how he avoided talking about his own family. He thought about how easily he had fallen into step with Xabi when asked to go flying. Xabi wanted to spend more time with him, but he wasn't sure how. It wasn't like they saw each other often, not being in the same house. There was, of course, the classes they had together. Xabi chuckled to himself when he remembered that Steven hadn't even realized they shared classes. “What's so funny?” Raul asked Xabi. “Nothing.” He said as he stood up, grabbing his Potions and Charms books. He had a lot of work ahead of him and thinking about the Hufflepuff Captain was not going to help him get it done.   Part TWO Steven couldn’t sleep. Every night for the past week he woke up with a raging hard on. Every night he drew the curtains to his bed closed, using a silencing charm so that his moans and gasps couldn't be heard and he didn't have to hold back as he gripped his erection, stroking himself as he thought about Xabi. His thoughts were always about Xabi. About him in class, with his mouth with the tip of a quill against his lips, about how he leaned back in his chair, about his fingers tapping against the desk. It made Steven wonder how he got through almost seven years at Hogwarts without noticing the Gryffindor Chaser. Now, he stood out drastically to the rest of his classmates. Everything he did was magnified. He kept him up at night, the way Xabi did everything. Everything seemed to be so fluid with him. His movements were easy, his actions never seemed to give him much thought. Steven was jealous. He felt like his life was not his. He spent every waking moment doing something. Classes, homework, and Quidditch ruled his life. He was stressed about being Captain, wanting to win the cup at the end of the year was important to him. Training almost nightly with his team was taking its toll on him already, and the year had barely started. He was taking a full load of classes to show the Ministry that he meant business about becoming an Auror. Waking up nightly with this...issue was becoming tiresome and making it harder and harder for Steven to get through the day without snapping at someone. He usually spent his evenings hanging out with everyone in the common room but more often that not, now, he spent his time in the library, alone. It was as if he did a complete turn around. He used to crave others' company. Now he wished to be left alone so he could get his work done. Left alone, except for Xabi. He didn't see him in the library. At first, he looked for him. He didn't kid himself into thinking he hadn't been expecting to see him. In truth, he was disappointed when Xabi didn't show up the first day, didn't appear out of thin air. It didn't matter, in the end. Steven had a lot to do. He didn't need to be distracted by Xabi Alonso more than he was already. Just like the rest of the nights that week, Steven was in the library, hunched over his homework as he wrote fast, barely legible. Professor Mourinho gave a two foot essay on the merits of knowing the differences of the smells of wormswart and mugwart. Steven could scream. There was only so much you could say about the two, really. He thought two feet was too long for such a prompt. He was frowning when a someone stood over him, casting a shadow on his parchment. He sighed, thinking Jamie Carragher came around to talk him into doing something with him. He opened his mouth to tell Jamie to bugger off when he saw that it was Xabi. Xabi had his hands in his pockets, a small smile spread across his lips where only the corners were turned up, and his eyes were narrow. “You look a little stressed.” He said plainly. Steven scoffed as he kept writing. “Bloody understatement, that.” He mumbled as he looked at the book that was open to his left, making sure his reference was correct before continuing to write. Before Steven knew it, Xabi leaned over the table, closing the book Steven was looking at. “What the fuck, mate?” He asked, his voice hushed so that he wouldn't get yelled at for raising his voice in the library. Xabi's hand remained on the book, his face close to Steven's. “You need a break.” He said, his voice cool as the words slipped off the tip of his tongue. Steven's jaw clenched. “I am busy.” “Just a short one.” Xabi said, not at all pleadingly. It was more as if he stated it, as if he knew Steven would follow him anywhere. Steven redipped his quill in his ink pot, getting ready to continue writing. Xabi's hand wrapped around Steven's wrist, stopping him from putting quill to parchment. “You won't regret it.” Steven didn't yank his hand away and Xabi's grip was like setting a fire to his crotch. He bit his lip as he looked at him. “Won't regret what, exactly?” He asked, his voice as steady as possible. Xabi smirked as he released Steven's hand. “You know, I didn't think it would be this easy to find you.” He said, sighing slightly as he stood back up straight, his hands returning to his pockets. Steven rolled his eyes, picking up his parchment and wand, drying it with a wordless spell then rolling it up. “I've been coming here all week.” Steven said, not thinking about what he was saying as he packed his things. When he looked back up at Xabi, his grin widened. “Really now?” He asked. Steven decided to ignore his tone. “I've had a lot of work. The common room has too many people.” “Or the wrong people?” “Full of ourselves much, Alonso?” He asked as he stood up. Xabi didn't answer, he just started walking, not towards an exit. “Where are we going? The exit is the other way.” “Taking you to your break.” He said over his shoulder. They ended up in a corner of the library. The books had dust on them like they hadn't been touched in years. “Drop your bag.” Xabi said as he turned around, facing Steven. Steven did as Xabi asked without thought. Xabi grinned again as he took a step closer to Steven. Steven's breath hitched, Xabi was getting close. Tentatively, Xabi's fingers tugged on Steven's belt loops, bringing their bodies together. Xabi waited to move again, wanting to see if Steven pushed him away. He didn't. He was in shock though, his body stiff as a pole, not sure what Xabi was doing. Xabi hadn't stopped thinking about Steven since he left him in the library weeks prior, before he even went to dinner. He wasn't really sure why Steven got his attention, now, during their 7th Year. But he knew that Steven could help him, now he had him backed into a corner of the library rarely visited. This was his chance to do something for himself, not something someone told him that needed to be done. He wanted this, wanted Steven. He wanted Steven. Xabi leaned in, his fingers tightening around Steven's belt loops as his lips crashed against the Hufflepuff's. Steven didn't push away, but he didn't relax either. Xabi brushed his tongue against Steven's closed lips, wanting them to part. Steven compiled, easing into the kiss rather than plunging into it as Xabi had. Xabi ended the kiss, but his hands stayed where they were. Steven's hands somehow ended up gripping Xabi's arms. Xabi wanted to kiss him again. “You're a good kisser.” Xabi said, his voice hoarse. Steven licked his lips, Xabi could see his adam's apple move as he gulped. “Yeah?” He asked. Xabi laughed lightly, his fingers tugging once more on Steven's belt loops, making him grunt. “Yeah.” Xabi whispered as he leaned forward again. This time Steven parted his lips as their mouths met, his hands finding Xabi's face and cupping it as their kiss intensified. Xabi pressed Steven against a bookshelf, his knee between Steven's legs as he broke the kiss, his mouth trailing down Steven's neck eagerly. Steven was panting as his hands left Xabi's face, letting him mark his neck. “Some break.” Steven said. Xabi hummed against his neck, making Steven moan. Xabi's lips once again found Steven's mouth, silencing him. “Shh.” Xabi said, placing chaste kisses to Steven's lips as his hand traveled down, brushing against his raging erection which only made Steven moan again. Steven bit his lip and he shut his eyes at the touch. Steven told himself he had to be dreaming right now, Xabi wasn't touching him. They weren't in the library. He was probably asleep at the table, smearing the ink for his essay everywhere and making a mess. After that split-second consideration he decided he would rather be here in his dream then. All thoughts came to a halt when he heard his zipper being undone. His eyes shot open, his mouth opening as his hand found Xabi's wrist and wrapped around it, stopping him. “What are we doing?” He asked, unsure. Xabi gave him an incredulous look. “Relieving stress.” Xabi said, smirking before kissing him again, his hand continuing what he was doing before Steven stopped him. “Oh.” Steven said as he bit his lip. Xabi's forehead rested on his shoulder as Xabi freed Steven from his pants, grasping him in his hand. “Oh.” He said again, but this time sounding more like a moan as Xabi stroked him. “Yeah.” Xabi said. Steven could tell he was smiling. “I think we both need this.” He said, his lips ghosting across Steven's collarbone as he said it. Steven nodded. His hands pulling at Xabi's belt, taking it off and tossing it to the ground. Xabi's mouth worked at nudging Steven’s shirt over his shoulder so he could mark the skin, all the while his hands slid and stroked. Steven slowly unzipped Xabi's pants, closing his eyes. How many nights the past week had he thought about this, about Xabi? The same boy that had him pinned against a bookshelf in the library, and his knees were shaking. “I think I need more than this.” Steven said, almost regretting it as Xabi's head shot up. Steven's thoughts were put at to ease as he saw Xabi grin. “I was thinking the same.” He said as his thumb brushed across Steven's head, making him bite his lip to hold back a moan. Steven's hand finally reached into Xabi's pants, grabbing a hold of him. Xabi's cock twitched as Steven touched him. Xabi held back a moan, not wanting Steven to know just how badly he wanted that contact, the friction between his cock and Steven's hand. He thought about his hands since their last time alone. The way he gripped his broom, it made Xabi harder just thinking about it. He quickened the pace of his strokes as he thought of how he watched Steven write, his eyes following his fingers. He thought about those fingers fucking him, about them in his mouth, wrapped around him. Now that they were, he was ready to explode. Steven's hand slid up his shaft, his palm rubbing against him. With his free hand, Xabi raked his fingers through Steven's hair as he captured his mouth with his; his tongue finding Steven's as they jacked each other off. Their chests heaving, hands working each other into a frenzy, they rested their foreheads against each others'. Xabi came first, gasping as he watched the mess spread onto Steven's hand. That was something he would surely relive once he was alone in his bed with the curtains drawn. His mind wandered to Steven, wondering if he had jerked off to him at all. Xabi twisted his wrist, his thumb once again brushing against Steven's head. “Fuck.” Steven hissed as he came, covering Xabi's fingers as he moaned, his head titling backwards and hitting it on a shelf. “Fuck.” He swore, that time because of the future knot in his head. Xabi chuckled as he pulled out his wand. “Scourgify.” He whispered, cleaning both of their hands immediately. He slipped his wand back into his back pocket before he cupped Steven's head in his hands, kissing him, sucking on his bottom lip before stepping back. “Break's over.” He said, that knowing grin plastered across his face. Steven scoffed. “Like I can think about anything now.” “If you finish your essay in time I will blow you.” Xabi said nonchalantly. Steven's jaw dropped, his spent cock twitched in his pants at the notion. Xabi leaned close to him, his lips pressed against Steven's ear. “Only if you finish in time.” He whispered, nipping at his neck before he started walking back towards Steven's table. Silently, Steven picked up his bag and caught up with Xabi, desperately wanting to finish the essay. With that, Steven and Xabi fell into a similar pattern at least a couple of times per week. Between Quidditch practices and studying, they made time to sneak off to see each other. Going back and forth between fast hand jobs and sloppy blow jobs, they relieved each others' stress. Weeks passed and the first Quidditch match of the season was to be Ravenclaw versus Gryffindor the following day. Xabi's practicing time seemed to be doubled in the days leading up to the match, which resulted in them not sneaking off together in days. Xabi thought he was going crazy. Quidditch was his release, his mental escape. He loved Quidditch, loved being in the air. But with the amount of practices and work load from his classes, he was spread thin. Instead, all Xabi wanted to do was ram Steven Gerrard against a wall, wanting to rake his teeth across his neck, leave teeth marks on his shoulder, he wanted to fuck him. His mind wandered to Steven's smile, his laugh. They didn't spend time together, they barely even knew anything about each other. What they were doing had nothing to do with feelings and everything to do with release. Xabi was changing out of his practice uniform and back into his school attire as he closed his eyes, the image of Steven's mouth around his cock filling his thoughts. Remembering the feeling of his tongue on him, his fingers holding onto his thighs as he bobbed his head, taking him in all the way made Xabi bite his bottom lip. “Xabi.” Someone called his name, snapping him back to reality as he buttoned his collared shirt. He looked over to Sergio Ramos, a 6th Year, who was trying to get his attention. “We're thinking of going to Hogsmeade, since there is still time.” Sergio said, smiling. It was still early on a Saturday, with the game the following afternoon. Xabi's mouth twitched, a corner curling up into a half smile. “I have plans to meet some Hufflepuffs at The Three Broomsticks.” He said offhandedly. “Fernando, you mean.” Xabi stated as he looped his tie around, tucking his chin against his chest as he watched his hands knot the tie correctly before he pulled it up close to his neck. Sergio beamed, nodding. “Fer and some others.” Sergio said as he slipped his robes on, tying his hair back in a low ponytail. Xabi's mind wandered back to Steven, wondering if he would be going or not. “Come on, Alonso. You could use a break, some butterbeer.” Sergio urged. Xabi smirked, nodding. There was no sense in wishing to see Steven if they hadn't made plans before then. It wasn't as if they ran into each other all the time in the halls. Most of the Gryffindor Quidditch team was planning on going to Hogsmeade, so they all made their way up to Gryffindor Tower to change out of their uniforms, grab their money, and make their way to the town. Xabi thought that Hogsmeade was boring, that there wasn't much to do in it, but it was a good change of scenery. Besides eating and shopping, there wasn't any reason to go. He preferred Diagon Alley, where there were more people and the hustle and bustle of the city. He loved the city. When he graduated he wanted to live in the thick of people, discovering new places to eat and go to, where he didn't know anyone. He thought about living out amongst Muggles for a while, how interesting it would be. He wanted to explore, wanted to travel. He didn't want to be stuck in one place. To him, Hogsmeade was small town. He wanted something bigger. His mind wandered to random thoughts of his brother, who got away from their family. He got to do as he wished with his life, leaving Xabi to follow in their father’s footsteps. Xabi loathed the thought that he would be spending the rest of his life as something he didn’t want to be. He was trapped, he knew, and he had to deal with it on his own. His mother was no help, busy with the Department of Magical Transport. She hated her job, she was unhappy at home, she didn’t exactly shower Xabi and Mikel with motherly affection. Xabi frowned as he thought about the last time he even spoke to his parents. They weren’t even home when he left for Hogwarts for the last time. When he arrived at Platform Nine ¾, alone, he couldn’t help but notice other family’s bidding their children a good year. Showering them with kisses and hugs, waving at them as they poked their heads out of the windows of the train. Xabi got on the train and closed the blinds, then covered his face with his hands. Xabi strolled along at his own pace, not really in any of the conversations going on around him as they walked to Hogsmeade. It seemed like a lot of the school had the same idea that they did, some already were heading back to the castle. His eyes lazily scanned the faces passing by, not realizing that he was hoping to run into Steven. The corner of his mouth twitched as he forced the thought out of his mind. A nudge to his shoulder brought him back to reality. Sergio pushed him towards the door of the Three Broomsticks. “Get as big of a table as you can.” He said. “I will wait here for the others.” Xabi walked in and looked around. It wasn’t too crowded. It was past lunch and it was a nice day out, so no one really lingered inside. There was a big table in the corner free, Xabi made his way over to it, staking his claim by sitting. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye. People were getting up from the table diagonal of where he was sitting. One of them walked over, standing over him. He looked up and saw Steven, hands in his pockets, grinning at him. “Hi.” He said, barely above a whisper. Xabi smirked up at him. “Hi.” “Stevie, come on!” Jamie Carragher called. Steven looked over his shoulder, taking a hand out of his pocket and waved Jamie on. “I’ll catch up!” He shouted back, turning his head back to look at Xabi. Xabi was leaning back in his chair, his hands resting on his thighs and his legs spread. His tongue rested between his lips, his teeth biting slightly as he looked at Steven in his regular clothes. His jeans hugged his hips perfectly and his shirt showed his muscled arms. “No you won’t.” Xabi said. Steven silently shrugged. “No, I won’t.” He didn’t sit. Instead, he looked around. “Who are you with?” He asked. “The team.” Xabi looked bored. “Want to find somewhere-” “Yes.” Steven said, cutting Xabi off. Xabi stood up, following Steven out. Xabi passed Sergio and Fernando Torres. “Where are you going?” Sergio asked. “I don’t know.” Xabi called over his shoulder. Sergio pouted. Steven waved bye to Sergio and Fernando, now having to catch up to Xabi who was walking briskly away from The Three Broomsticks. “Sergio looked disappointed.” Steven said, frowning. “I don’t really want to hang out with them as they supply the world with PDA.” Xabi said under his breath. “Besides, they wanted to be alone.” “Then why invite a bunch of people?” Steven asked. Fernando had asked him earlier in the day if he wanted to join them. Steven told him he already had plans. Now he wished he had said yes, to spend time with Xabi. Actually spend time with him, not have his mouth around Xabi’s cock or vice versa. But whatever they were about to do, he was also perfectly fine with doing. “I don’t know.” Xabi said as he walked into the Hog’s Head. It was practically vacant. “What are we doing here?” Steven asked. “Getting a room.” “What?” Steven asked. Xabi rolled his eyes as he walked over to the bar. Steven stayed by the door. When Xabi walked back over he dangled keys in front of Steven’s face, grinning. “Don’t look so shocked. This way we can take our time. We have until curfew.” He said, a sly smile creeping across his lips. Steven’s cheeks reddened. “But he knows-” “Knows what? For all he cares we are going up there with two girls.” “But we aren’t.” “No, we aren’t.” Xabi said, patting Steven’s cheek with his hand as he jogged up the stairs, finding the room number on the keys he was given. The more Steven thought about it, the happier he was. In the castle they had to sneak around, in the castle there was no privacy. They were in different houses, there was no way to get into one of their dormitories. The room was small, with just a bed, a small couch, and a dresser. A picture, hung crookedly, was all that decorated the room. Xabi walked in, letting Steven shut the door. He opted to lean against it after he shut it, his hands sliding to his back as he watched Xabi look around, and then to him. “Are you going to stay by the door?” Xabi asked. Steven shook his head as he pressed himself off of it. Xabi sat on the bed his feet planted on the ground. “Good.” He said, leaning back with his palms spread on the bed for support. Steven smirked as he walked over, hovering over Xabi. Xabi tilted his head. “What’s wrong?” He asked. Steven shrugged. “Nothing.” He mumbled. Xabi sat up, his hands hooking around Steven’s thighs, bringing him closer. Xabi looked up at him, his teeth raking across his bottom lip. “Having second thoughts?” He asked, a hand cupping Steven’s crotch. Steven let out a moan. “No.” He gasped. His fingers raked through Xabi’s hair as Xabi’s mouth ghosted across his growing erection. Xabi mouthed over the fabric of his jeans, outlining his dick. “Jesus, Xabi.” He moaned, throwing his head back. “Good.” Xabi said, standing. He pushed Steven over to the couch, tugging Steven’s shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor. He did the same to his own, starting a pile. Both of them with one knee on the couch, their lips crashed together. Steven, to keep from falling back onto the couch, placed his hands on the back of the couch and the armrest for leverage as Xabi’s hands traveled down his torso. Xabi pressed against him as he left open mouthed kisses down Steven’s neck, licking then sucking at his lower neck and collarbone. Steven’s eyes rolled back as he gripped the couch tightly. Xabi’s hand landed on Steven’s hip for a moment before sliding down his thigh almost tenderly as Xabi’s lips pressed against his neck, marking him. Steven’s cock throbbed in his pants. He wanted Xabi, needed him. They were reliant on each other now, addicted to the release they sought from one another. He got a rush whenever he saw Xabi, whenever they had a spare moment alone. His heart rate sky rocketed, his breathing staggered. His body tingled at Xabi’s touch as his fingers worked open Steven’s jeans, shoving them down his thighs. Steven stepped out of them as he watched Xabi do the same. This time when Xabi leaned towards Steven, he pushed him onto his back on the couch, laying on top of him with one leg between Steven’s and the other bent and hooked around the couch cushion. He was holding himself up, his palms on either side of Steven’s head, as he kissed him. Hot and fast, their heads moved seamlessly as they devoured each other. Steven’s hands roamed over Xabi’s back and torso before grabbing his ass and clenching his fist around Xabi’s briefs, making Xabi moan into his mouth. Xabi rocked his hips against Steven’s, unable to hold back how much he wanted him. He needed Steven, he wanted him. Hand jobs and blow jobs weren’t cutting it anymore, he needed more. The fact that they had all evening made him harder, made him want to take his time even though he wanted to be fucked right then. He stayed awake at night, thinking about Steven fucking him. Fucking him in his bed, against a wall, in the bathroom, in a hallway, in the library. He didn’t know how he got anything done with the amount that he thought about Steven. About someone who he barely knew anything about. Maybe that was what turned him on so much about Steven, the ambiguity of what they were doing. No strings attached was a horrible name for what they were doing, fuck buddies or friends with benefits didn’t count because they weren’t actually friends. They didn’t have a name, a label. They just knew what they wanted. They kissed each other for what seemed like ages before Xabi sat up, kneeling as he straddled one of Steven’s legs. Xabi rested his palms against Steven’s chest as they both caught their breath, their chests heaving and lips puffy. Steven’s fingers found their way to Xabi’s briefs, outlining his erection and ghosting his fingers across his length before gripping him through the fabric. Xabi leaned his head back, biting his lip as he stifled a loud moan by turning it into a humming noise. Steven grabbed the back of Xabi’s thighs, pulling him closer. “Scoot up.” He said, his voice hungry for Xabi. Xabi complied, moving up to Steven’s chest. He put one foot on the floor, the other was buried against the couch cushions as he got close enough to Steven’s mouth so his cock could be sucked. The outline of Xabi’s leaking erection made Steven’s mouth water. His fingers slid along the length as he freed him from his briefs. Steven looked up at Xabi’s face, cheeks flushed and mouth open slightly as if silently moaning. He brought Xabi’s cock out of the slit in his briefs, grabbing onto his ass and pressing him closer as he took him into his mouth. His hands fondled Xabi’s cheeks, spreading them out and pressing them together as he sucked on his head. Xabi’s hips thrust towards Steven’s mouth, wanting more of him, wanting to hit the back of Steven’s throat. Xabi loved Steven’s mouth. He loved how it opened wide for him, he loved the feel of his cock as it hit the back of his throat, the sound that escaped his lips as he gagged slightly at the intrusion. He liked how Steven looked at him as he had his cock in his mouth. Xabi liked the noises Steven made if he yanked on Steven’s hair. He loved how eager he was. Rapturous. However, he didn’t like showing how much he liked it. He didn’t want Steven to know what this meant to him, how much Steven was helping him with whatever issues he was harboring. He held onto the back of Steven’s head, stilling his cock down Steven’s throat until he felt Steven’s hands pushing on his thighs. He released him, letting Steven gasp for air, not breaking eye contact with him. “Again?” Xabi asked. Steven nodded, his mouth open. Xabi held onto Steven’s hair as he fucked his mouth, controlling the pace and how deep he went into Steven’s mouth. The noise was pure bliss, sloppy and wet. Steven grabbed Xabi’s ass again, pressing a finger against the fabric, pressing against his entrance. Xabi couldn’t stop his groan, couldn’t stop his climax as he came into Steven’s mouth. He hadn’t expected that, even though he wanted to be fucked. Steven’s finger against him sent him over the edge so fast, he squirmed against him, his hips rocking back. “Fuck, Stevie. Jesus.” He hissed as he moved off of him. Steven’s hands dropped as he watched Xabi get up, pulling his briefs the rest of the way off. Steven was so hard he thought he would faint. His cock was throbbing and as he watched Xabi bent over, it twitched, longing to be inside of him as his ass was on display. Tight and pink, Xabi showed off what he had to offer as he crawled onto the bed, watching Steven stare at him. Getting off the couch, Steven walked over to the bed. Xabi kneeled on the bed facing Steven, reaching forward and tugging on Steven’s briefs as his mouth ghosted across Steven’s stomach, his tongue licking and lapping at the creases of his pelvic bones. Xabi yanked down Steven’s briefs, pushing them down his thighs so he could step out of them. His mouth, hollowed and open, slid across Steven’s length, teasing him. Steven grunted. “God dammit, I am already close-” He spat as Xabi looked up at him, his eyes feigning innocence to what he was doing. Xabi took Steven into his mouth and hummed, sending vibrations throughout his cock, making him close his eyes and grab onto Xabi’s hair. “Fuck yes.” He said as his head tilted back. Xabi’s hands held Steven’s hips still, taking Steven into his mouth at his own pace. He forced himself all the way down, his forehead pressing against Steven’s stomach as Steven’s cock slid down his throat. He held him there until he needed a breath. He gasped for air when he came up, his fingers wrapping around Steven’s erection as he looked up at him. “I want you to fuck me.” He said, his voice hoarse and breaths short. Steven nodded, his fingers raking through Xabi’s hair almost tenderly before he yanked on it, bringing him back towards his cock. Xabi twisted his wrist as his tongue flicked over Steven’s head a few times before he released him and laid on his back in front of him. “Good.” Steven said, grinning as he reached for his wand, looking around the room. He walked into the small bathroom, bringing out a small glass of water. Xabi eyed him from the bed as Steven transfigured the water into lube. “Oh fuck how did you learn that?” Xabi asked, his voice cracking slightly, practically moaning as Steven crawled onto the bed, dipping his fingers into the glass. “Found a book in Flourish and Blotts.” He said as he circled a finger over Xabi’s entrance. Xabi spread a cheek with one hand as the other held his legs out of the way. Steven pressed inward, breaching him. Xabi threw his head back, panting and gritted his teeth. “Oh, fuck.” He screamed. “Fuck I need that book.” He laughed, his knuckles white as they gripped his legs, his head rocking back and forth as Steven began fucking him with his finger. “Shit.” He said, unable to stop being so vocal about everything Steven was doing. Steven added a second finger, spreading him and stretching him. His body coated in sweat, Xabi’s mouth stayed open, making small noises with every thrust of Steven’s fingers. His body reacted to it as he became hard again. He squirmed against Steven’s fingers as he scissored him. “Please tell me there was a transfiguration spell for a condom in that bloody book.” He said through gritted teeth as Steven withdrew his fingers. “No, I haven’t read that far. Turn over, on your knees.” Steven said, slapping the side of Xabi’s thigh, making him groan as he moved, his legs like jelly. With his ring, middle, and index fingers coated with more lube, Steven reentered Xabi, fucking him shallow and fast. Xabi, who had been holding himself up by the palms of his hands, collapsed onto the bed as he screamed. “We should have put up a silencing charm.” Steven chuckled. Xabi buried his head into the covers, muffling the noises he was making. Steven pulled his fingers back, walking over to the pile of clothes on the floor and fishing around in his jeans pocket. Xabi was panting, trying to catch his breath on the bed, his ass in the air. He turned his head and looked at Steven, cock hard and dripping from neglect. He bit his lip as his eyes raked over his body. “What are you-” “Condom.” “You brought a condom?” Xabi asked, sounding exhausted already. Steven raised an eyebrow at him. “I always keep one in my pocket in case...” He trailed off, stopping as if he revealed something he didn’t want Xabi to know: exactly how much he wanted him. Xabi didn’t say anything. Instead, he spread his legs more, his fingers grasping at the sheets with one hand as the other reached behind him, brushing over his entrance with two fingers and whimpering silently to himself. Steven walked back over, ripping the package open and rolling the condom on, readying himself. Xabi got back up by the palms of his hands, turning his head so he could watch Steven press against him. He grunted as Steven entered him, the pressure was immense. Breathing shallowly, Xabi dropped his head as his fists clenched around the sheets. Steven started out with his feet still on the ground, off the bed, but he soon changed tactics, crawling up on to the bed. Kneeling on one knee, he spread the other out in front of him as Xabi backed up against him, still on his knees. Steven’s hand gripped Xabi’s shoulder as he fucked up into him at an angle, making Xabi gasp as Steven hit his spot. Xabi wanted more, wanted it harder. He reached a hand behind him, grabbing onto Steven’s outstretched thigh and rammed Steven into him as he pushed back, pressing Steven all the way into him harshly. Xabi groaned, doing it again. Steven’s grip on Xabi’s shoulder would surely leave a bruise. Steven thrust into him again and again at the same ferocity that Xabi showed him that he wanted, resulting in Xabi once again crumpling onto the bed, unable to hold himself up. His hands stretched out in front of him then pulled the sheets towards him as he bit his lip, his body bouncing as Steven pounded into him. “You like that?” Steven asked, his hands steadying his thrusts by holding onto Xabi’s waist. Xabi nodded repeatedly, not opening his mouth for fear of how loud he would be. “Don’t stop those noises now.” He said, pushing into him all the way and stilling for a moment before pulling out. Xabi squirmed, his hips rocking backwards, trying to find Steven after the sudden loss of contact. He looked back at Steven, his body flushed and spent. His legs felt numb, like jelly and he wanted to collapse but he wasn’t ready for it to be over. Steven was smirking at him. Xabi couldn’t remember Steven like this at any other time. It was as if they switched roles, if they had roles that was. They didn’t really, because they weren’t anything. But right then, in amongst the sweat and the lust filled room, they were something. Steven stroked himself as he looked down at Xabi. He wanted to take a mental picture for later. He wanted to jack off about this. The way he looked, the way the room smelled, the way he felt underneath him. It was overwhelming. Steven knew that he was almost done. He had to compose himself before he reentered him. Xabi rolled over, his limbs tired. His legs fell to the side, his hands lay on his stomach as his chest rose and then fell. His bottom lip had a divot in it where his teeth left a mark from failing to hold back sounds of sex. Steven leaned down, a hand by Xabi’s face as the other guided him back into him. Xabi’s legs wrapped around Steven’s thighs, hooking him down as he entered him. Xabi’s hands grasped at Steven’s neck as Steven started moving, slower now. Steven lowered himself onto Xabi, finding his mouth, kissing him as he fucked him. It felt like more than just fucking, right then. It felt like they were more. It hadn’t started like that, it wasn’t planned. But as Steven came, it just happened. A tiny spark of something more lingered in the air when Steven collapsed onto the bed beside Xabi, his eyes closing. Xabi wasn’t sure if Steven felt the wordless change or not. But as he drifted off to sleep, his mind fuzzing and numb from sex, couldn’t stop saying Steven’s name over and over. PART THREE It was match day and Xabi woke up earlier than normal. He blamed nerves because of the game, but he knew better. He loved match days, relished the rush he got as he stepped out onto the field. He was always calm before he played, ready for anything. But not now. Now his mind was reeling as he lay in bed, on his back and his hands covering his face. He kicked the covers off, his legs bent and spread as he bit his bottom lip. His eyes closed as his mind wandered to the day before, how he reacted to Steven’s touch. He hadn’t been expecting that. He hadn’t expected to lose control. He had been keeping his distance, emotionally. What they had wasn’t emotional, it was purely lust. He was restraining himself before yesterday, but Steven tore down every wall he put up without Xabi realizing it. Xabi groaned as he rolled onto his stomach, bending his legs and curling his toes against his ass as he buried his head into his pillows. He remembered the noises that escaped his lips yesterday, how he never, ever made them before. Not in the past, not with Steven, not with anyone. He thought about the look in Steven’s eyes as he reached behind him, pushing Steven further inside him. He thought about Steven’s lips on his when they changed positions, how his ankles hooked around Steven’s thighs, his breathing stilted as Steven lay on top of him. Xabi sat up, aware of the effect his thoughts were having on his body. He got out of bed, walking into the bathroom and turned on one of the showers. The sun was barely over the horizon and it everyone else was asleep. Xabi stripped his pajamas off, stepping into the still cold water. His hope of the water killing his hard on was short lived as the water turned warm. He grumbled as he put his face into the spray, soaking his hair. He put his elbows onto the tiled wall, putting his face in his hands, leaning against them as he let the water fall on him. The match was only a few hours away and he couldn’t stop thinking about Steven, about everything. He needed someone to talk to about the situation. He had no one, really. He had friends, acquaintances mostly, but no one to go to that would know what was going on. His mind flashed to Sergio and Fernando. His mouth twitched, his hands dropping as he pushed off the wall, grabbing shampoo. He would talk to Sergio. Xabi ambled down to breakfast, eager to waste time somewhere in the castle that wasn’t his dormitory. Reading the Daily Prophet would take at least forty five minutes if he did it from cover to cover. He sat at the Gryffindor table, across from Cristiano Ronaldo and Kaka who were the two other Chasers, both were 6th years. “Couldn’t sleep?” Kaka asked Xabi with a friendly smile. Xabi returned it as he shook his head, grabbing two pieces of toast and grabbed a jar of jam. “Not really.” “You aren’t usually nervous about matches.” Cristiano said, his face concerned. “What’s up?” He asked. Xabi shrugged. “I am not really nervous about the game or anything.” Xabi said as he spread the jam on his toast then took a bite. “Just have a lot on my mind.” Xabi made sure he swallowed before he talked. “That’s all.” He took another bite. Cristiano frowned. Xabi briefly thought that Cristiano made the most hilarious faces, especially during matches. You could see them from across the pitch. Xabi finished his toast then thought about eating some eggs, or a piece of bacon. He looked up for a moment, movement catching his eye. Steven walked into the Great Hall with Pepe Reina and Jamie Carragher. They were laughing, Jamie’s arm was around Steven’s shoulder as they walked over to the Hufflepuff table. They were sweaty, dirty. Xabi looked outside, it was barely 8am. His eyes followed Steven as he sat down, his back to the Gryffindor table. Xabi’s heart beat fast, his throat constricted. He grabbed a piece of bacon, nibbling on it. Cristiano was just finishing the paper. “Mind if I read?” Xabi asked. Cristiano shook his head, handing him the paper. Xabi smiled as he folded it nicely so he could read the front page. Eventually, Cristiano and Kaka left, leaving Xabi alone at the table. His eyes kept drifting upwards, away from the articles and moving pictures. Steven’s back and neck were more interesting to Xabi. He noticed Pepe Reina looking at him. Xabi’s eyes lowered as he flipped the page of the paper and took a sip of some pumpkin juice. Next thing he knew, he felt the presence of someone standing over him. The hair on the back of his neck stood up, a pit forming in his stomach. He didn’t want to face Steven yet. He looked up into penetrating blue eyes. Steven was leaning on the table, smiling down at him. Again, the feeling of change washed over him. He felt like Steven had the upper hand. He gave him a small smile in return. He wasn’t sure why he was acting defeated. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t done what he wanted. He wanted it, he wanted more. That was now the issue: he wanted more. “You’re up early.” Xabi said as he folded the paper, pushing it away from himself, exuding the feigned demeanor of calm and indifference that usually engulfed him. Steven’s smile didn’t fade. “The lads and I went out on the practice pitch early, did drills before the sun came up.” “Whatever for?” He asked. Steven shrugged. “We were up, talking, and just...” Steven trailed off. Xabi’s face was blank. “Good luck today.” He said, pushing away from the table, knowing he shouldn’t linger. Why would the Captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team be talking to the Chaser of the Gryffindor Quidditch team the morning of a match? Steven looked around at the sparse people eating breakfast, no one was paying the the slightest bit of attention. Xabi nodded slightly. “Thanks. Are you going?” He asked. Steven’s grin widened. “What? Want me to root for you?” He jested. Xabi’s face fell slightly, but he caught it. “Yeah, I am going. Ravenclaw should give you guys a run for your money.” He said as he put his hands in his pockets. Xabi couldn’t help but look him over, his clothes dirty and his hair askew. His eyes lingered on the whereabouts of Steven’s hands. Finally, Xabi’s eyes met Steven’s. He looked down at Xabi, his eyes questioning but he remained silent. “Good. I wouldn’t want you to root for Gryffindor on my behalf.” “Never.” Steven said, taking that as a clue that their conversation was over and turning to leave. Xabi grasped at the newspaper, crinkling it in his fists as he watched Steven walk away without turning back. Steven walked out of the Great Hall without eating breakfast. Xabi’s indifference was unsettling. He didn’t know why he expected things to be different now. They weren’t anything, they hadn’t been since the beginning. He didn’t mean anything to Xabi, except that he helped relieve the stress of being a prefect and a 7th year student who wasn’t doing what he wanted, wasn’t taking what he wanted. Steven kept his hands in his pockets as he walked out of the castle, not wanting to be near anyone. He walked towards the lake, thinking a long walk would do him good. He hadn’t slept at all. When he got back from Hogsmeade, with only minutes to spare before curfew, he was backed into a corner by Pepe and Jamie. They told him he had been distant and unconcerned with the team, that he wasn’t concentrating on their upcoming match against Slytherin. Steven insisted he was, that he was busy with coursework. They both scoffed at him and mentioned Xabi. Steven turned white, blanching. They knew? Jamie snapped his fingers, getting Steven’s attention. “Mate, what’s up with the Chaser?” He asked. Steven only shrugged. Pepe rose an eyebrow at him. Steven bit his lip. “Are you two fucking?” Pepe asked. Steven stayed silent. They hadn’t been, until that day. Somehow, Pepe supplied a bottle of firewhiskey and somehow, Steven told them everything. Not details, but about the library, about how they sort of just... fit together. When they knew the sun was due to rise they decided to train. Not seriously, but toss the Quaffle and try to score on Pepe. Now Steven regretted telling his friends. Not if Xabi... shitfuck. He liked him. He liked Xabi, he couldn’t help it. He barely knew anything about him but it wasn’t like he didn’t want to get to know him. He did, actually. He wanted to know what he wanted to do after school, if not be an Auror. He wanted to know more about him. Xabi looking up at him with cold indifference hurt, he wasn’t kidding himself about it. He thought he hid his feelings well, considering. Considering he couldn’t get Xabi out of his mind. How different he acted yesterday. Previously, Xabi was calm, collected, and reserved in a way. Yesterday it was as if it had all been a facade. A mask that had been put up. Steven didn’t know what he did, or why it was down yesterday but he was positive that was the real Xabi. That he lost himself. He didn’t consider the Xabi from before to be a lie, it was more like he was preserving something. Steven didn’t know why he would have to hold back. The whole point of them jacking each other off was release, freedom. They were supposed to make each other feel better, only without the emotional attachment. Only Steven was emotionally attached. Maybe Xabi sensed that, which is why he had that look in his eyes when Steven stood over him. Steven shouldn’t have gone over to him in the Great Hall. He should have waited for Xabi to approach him. But even that seemed wrong. Why should he have to wait to talk to him? He had every right to walk up to him. Before Steven knew it, he had walked around the entire lake. He needed to take a shower if he was going to go to the match. There was no way he was rooting for Ravenclaw, not when Xabi was on Gryffindor. Steven’s shoulders sagged as he walked back into the castle. If Xabi didn’t want anything more than what they already had, he would just have to deal with that. In the dressing rooms before the match, Xabi was the first ready to go out onto the field. He snuck up to Sergio who was putting his pads on. Sergio smiled at him. “Hey Xabi, what’s up?” He asked. Xabi shrugged, picking at the wood on the bench he sat on as Sergio strapped his shinpads on. “Oh come on.” He said, his face not dropping the smile. “Alright. So something is bothering me.” He said, not looking at Sergio. “Something about the match?” He asked. Xabi shook his head. Sergio looked confused. Xabi sighed, looking up at Sergio and meeting his eyes. “I... like someone.” He whispered. Sergio’s smile widened. “Xabi you know I have a boyfriend....” Xabi punched Sergio in the shoulder. “Fuck off. Not you, you ass.” “Obviously. I wanted to see your reaction. Is it Gerrard?” Sergio asked. Xabi’s face fell immediately. Sergio made a knowing face. “Ahh, it is. What’s the problem then?” He asked. “That is the problem.” Sergio made a face. “I don’t get it.” Xabi sighed. He shouldn’t talk to anyone about this. He didn’t even know what he wanted, he didn’t know how to be in a relationship. His thoughts shot to his parents, always fighting, to his older brother who fled and to him, sitting alone at the train station watching all the families say their goodbyes. “Nevermind.” Xabi said, sighing. Sergio stopped him from getting up. “Xabi, come on. You can’t start something and not finish it.” He protested. Xabi stared openly at Sergio. “You’re right, I can’t. Thanks.” He said, as if that was the end of their conversation. “Oh no you don’t. That wasn’t advice. That was me saying spill the beans.” Xabi bit his lip. “The match is starting soon. There isn’t time-” “Don’t pull that shit.” “Gerrard and I have been...” Xabi made a hand gesture. “No strings attached. I have strings.” He said, getting to the point. Sergio raised an eyebrow. “And Stevie doesn’t? I find that hard to believe.” He said simply. Xabi made a face. He didn’t think Steven did care, though. He wasn’t the one that fell apart while they had sex. He didn’t see his walls collapsing, didn’t feel the sense of impending doom. Doom. Why did it feel like doom? “Why is that hard to believe?” He asked. “You didn’t see his face when he followed you out of the Three Broomsticks, did you?” Sergio asked. Xabi bit his lip, shaking his head. No, he didn’t. A knot was forming in his stomach as he stood up. Steven would be in the stands, rooting for Ravenclaw. He wanted Steven to root for him, he wanted to score and look over into the stands and find him cheering, not booing. He took a deep breath. “Whose idea was it to be fuck buddies?” Sergio asked. Xabi glared at Sergio. “Mine.”   Ravenclaw and Gryffindor stood on the pitch, brooms at the ready, waiting for the whistle to blow. Their classmates above them in the stands were loud and raucous. Chants were being sung and screams could be heard as the whistle blew. David Villa and David Silva’s voices could be heard. They were always the match commentators. Most of the school showed up for the match, not wanting to miss their class mates play. Xabi tuned out the David’s voices, not wanting them to distract him. He didn’t look towards the stands, either. He couldn’t afford to. He felt like if he did, he would look for Steven. Ravenclaw scored first. Cesc Fabregas, their Captain, did a flip on his broom in celebration. Iker shouted at everyone, clapping his hands and getting them to focus. Sergio sent a bludger flying past Xabi’s face, almost hitting him. He shouted that he was sorry. After an hour, they were pretty much even. Cristiano and Kaka both scored twice. Xabi hadn’t been able to yet. They needed more points before they wanted Gonzalo Higuain to catch the snitch if at all possible. They wanted to go into the Slytherin and Hufflepuff matches with a good lead, since who ever had the most points won the Cup... not who won the most games. Points were what mattered and the easiest way to get points was to score. He needed to score. He couldn’t concentrate. He saw his chance to get the Quaffle when Samir Nasri caught a pass from Cesc and fumbled with it. Xabi took it from him easily, turning his broom and flew straight for Fabianski, who was the Keeper. He pretended he was going to throw it in the left hoop but in the end, he threw it into the center, making the Keeper fly towards the left instead. Not five minutes later, Gonzalo Higuain caught the snitch ending the game. When Xabi landed on the ground, the entire team jumped on top of one another, happy about their win. Xabi looked up, towards the Hufflepuff stand that was quickly dispersing. He didn’t see Steven. Monday began with Charms, a class in which 7th year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs shared. When Xabi arrived, Steven was already sitting at his normal seat. The rows of seats wrapped around the room and it was split down the middle with Hufflepuffs seated to one side and Gryffindors on the other. Steven was sitting between Pepe Reina and Jamie Carragher. Xabi walked across the room, feeling the gaze of all three of them as he made is way towards the other Gryffindors. Xabi looked up at Steven as he sat, locking eyes with him. Steven was laughing at something Pepe said, or maybe Jamie. Xabi didn’t know why, but he was jealous. He wanted to make Steven laugh, he wanted to sit next to him. Steven gave Xabi a small wink before he broke eye contact, turning his attention to his friends. Xabi gave a small smile in return. Maybe he was making up reasons that Steven would be angry, that there was something different. Maybe there was no change. It could just be him, really. There was no reason why he couldn’t act like nothing changed. Steven was acting normal. He bit his lip as Professor Wegner called the class to order, getting Raul Albiol to hand out bags of sand that they were going to charm to glow in the dark. “It is always handy for camping trips, or hikes, so that you can always find your way back at night.” Arsene Wegner said as Alvaro Arbeloa asked the reasoning for charming sand in such a manner. Steven was sitting directly across from Xabi, regretfully. He couldn’t concentrate, all he wanted to do was look at the other boy. He watched Xabi’s lips move, his hand grasped around his wand as he licked his lips and spoke the incantation to charm the sand. Arsene Wegner nodded his approval at Xabi’s attempt, which brought out a faint glow but then faded back to normal. “Flick your wrist a little more, Alonso.” He offered. Steven hadn’t even attempted it yet, he was too busy watching Xabi try. Professor Wegner noticed. “Gerrard, why don’t you try?” He asked. The entire class looked at Steven. He reddened, his eyes turning towards Xabi. Xabi bit his lip as he looked at Steven, knowing full well that Steven had been watching him instead of doing the assignment. “Micans Lux.” Steven said as he flicked his wand with his wrist at the sand. The sand began glowing instantly, turning an ultraviolet green. Steven smiled to himself, looking at the Professor for approval. “Very good, Gerrard.” He spoke, pointing to Steven’s sand. “See class, sometimes it takes seeing your fellow classmates try a few times, see what they did, and then attempt it yourself.” Steven looked at Xabi who stuck his tongue out slightly at him. Steven stuck his out back, happy to have some sort of reaction from Xabi. He didn’t like the brick wall he encountered the day before, he couldn’t wrap his head around it. He was certain that after how Xabi acted, that maybe he didn’t want to do anything with him anymore. Steven intended on talking to Xabi after class, backing him into a corner if need be. He didn’t want to stop what they were doing, he didn’t care at this point if Xabi didn’t want more from him, he didn’t want to lose what they had, even if it was nothing more than sex. As soon as Professor Wegner dismissed them, Xabi bolted out of his seat and made his way to the door. Steven was right behind him, grabbing onto his arm just as he exited. Xabi looked around at their classmates as he stopped, letting them pass by him. Steven dropped his hand. “So-” “Want to fuck tonight?” Xabi asked, the words tumbling out of his mouth before Steven could even ask if Xabi wanted to continue or back off. Steven laughed, not having time to react any other way. Xabi’s teeth bore down on his bottom lip as he looked into Steven’s eyes. Steven looked down the hall where Pepe and Jamie were waiting for him to go to History of Magic. “Yeah.” He said, unable to keep from smiling. Steven’s smile was contagious, Xabi couldn’t help but smile up at him as he nodded. “Good.” Xabi added, relieved. Steven looked at him oddly, making Xabi realize that he sounded uncertain. “Because with the Defense test this week I am fucking stressed.” He rushed out. “Need to unwind?” Steven asked. “Exactly.”   They met in the library after dinner, neither Quidditch teams were practicing that night. Instead of finding a corner to mess around in, Xabi lead Steven out of the library and up spiral stairs. “Where are we going?” Steven asked. Xabi could feel Steven’s breath on his neck as he asked the question, Steven was so close to him as they walked. Xabi slowed, letting Steven’s hands grasp at his waist, tugging on his shirt and pulling it out from where it was tucked neatly into his slacks. Xabi couldn’t stop the moan that escaped his lips as Steven’s lips trailed kisses up his neck, his hands reaching around, cupping Xabi crotch and pinching a nipple. Xabi gasped, his hand reaching out for the stone wall to steady himself. “I found an empty room.” Xabi panted, the fingers of his free hand entwining with Steven’s, pressing his hand against him harder. “On the seventh floor.” He said as he turned around, dropping Steven’s hand and cupping Steven’s face with his hands as he kissed him. Steven pinned Xabi against the stone wall. Xabi grunted, his teeth raking across Steven’s bottom lip as his leg wrapped around Steven’s waist. Steven gripped Xabi’s ass tightly, holding him up against the wall.   “A room?” Steven asked through baited breath as Xabi’s mouth lingered over his, hovering as he nodded. Their erections could be felt through the fabric of their pants as Steven’s hips rolled against Xabi’s once. “On the seventh floor?” Again, Xabi nodded. Now his mouth was on Steven’s neck, Xabi’s fingers unbuttoned the collared shirt and pushed it out of the way so he could mark his collarbone where it wouldn’t be seen. “Shouldn’t we get up there then?” He asked. Xabi moaned as Steven backed off the wall, making Xabi’s leg drop to the ground as he was pushed off of Steven. “Fuck it, no one will come up these stairs.” He said as he reached for Steven’s zipper. Steven stopped him. “No, no. I want to see this room.” He said, smiling and rebuttoning his shirt. Xabi pouted, straightening his own clothes. Xabi’s cheeks reddened as he realized what he just said. He needed to control himself more. He had to remind himself that Steven just wanted to fuck, that he just wanted to fuck and that it wasn’t that he was intoxicated by Steven, that he would feel the same if it was anyone else. He kept telling himself it, over and over, not really believing it. Steven sensed the shift in Xabi’s demeanor. He had an idea what it was about. As reassurance, his lips met Xabi’s tenderly, not how they usually kissed. He wanted him to know how he felt, but he was scared to say anything for fear of Xabi not feeling the same way. Xabi’s body stiffened slightly before it relaxed. Steven’s hand slipped back around Xabi’s waist, his hands snaking around and grabbing Xabi’s ass, his finger pressing against his entrance. Xabi moaned into the kiss, intensifying it. “The room, Xabi.” Xabi nodded. “Right.” Xabi said as he pushed away from Steven and started bounding up the stairs. Grinning, Steven followed. Once they were up there, Steven recognized the door that Xabi was about to open. “Xabi, that’s just a broom closet.” Steven said, raising an eyebrow. Xabi looked at Steven oddly, shaking his head. “Is not, it is an old classroom that hasn’t been used in years.” Xabi opened the door and they found neither a broom closet or an old, forgotten classroom. Instead they found a small room with a bed and a small nightstand. They looked at each other, dumbstruck. “What the fuck.” Xabi whispered as he shut the door and closed his eyes. “Did I see lube and a condom on the nightstand?” Steven asked. “I swear this was a broom cupboard.” “And I swear it was a class room.” Xabi said, opening it again and seeing the bed. He stepped into the room and felt the bed. “This room must be spelled.” He said under his breath. “If that’s the case then we can fuck in here all the time, screw sneaking around.” Steven said, shutting the door and grinning. Xabi laughed. He laughed at how Steven said it. Steven made him smile, made him want more, to be more. His smile faded as he looked at the bed, biting his lip. Steven walked over, capturing Xabi’s lips with his as his hand worked at Xabi’s pants. “This may be my favorite room.” Xabi whispered as Steven tugged Xabi’s pants down around his thighs and pushed him onto the bed, his feet remaining on the ground. Xabi’s fingers raked through Steven’s hair as he slipped Xabi’s erection out of his briefs, his mouth engulfing his head as his fingers wrapped around his length. Xabi tilted his head back, yanking on Steven’s hair as he bit his lip. “Stevie-” He whispered, his toes curling in his shoes as he watched Steven blow him. His cock ached, wanting to fuck Steven’s mouth. Licking his lips, he applied pressure to the back of Steven’s head, easing him down his length. Steven took him readily, widening his jaw until he felt Xabi hit the back of his throat. Coughing, he withdrew, wiping his mouth with the back of a hand he looked up at Xabi as he leaned back on his knees. Xabi was panting as Steven’s hand wrapped around him again, stroking him. Steven’s lips were puffy and red, Xabi reached out a hand, pressing his thumb against Steven’s lips, wanting to see something in his mouth, anything. Steven’s tongue lapped at Xabi’s thumb, bringing it in his mouth and sucking. Xabi moaned, rolling his hips up into Steven’s hand, wanting to be jacked off faster, harder. Xabi’s thumb withdrew, his fingers weaving through Steven’s hair again, urging him back to his cock. Licking his lips, Steven took Xabi back into his mouth, stilling Xabi’s hips so he couldn’t choke him again. “Please, Stevie.” Xabi begged, adding pressure to the back of Steven head. He needed Steven’s wet mouth, wanted to fuck it. Steven nodded slightly, his tongue swirling around Xabi’s head as he put his hands on the bed, holding onto the sheets as Xabi began thrusting his cock into Steven’s mouth, shallowly at first but eventually going deeper and deeper. Steven gagged, trying to pull back but Xabi’s hand was still on the back of his head. A few seconds more, and Xabi released him. Steven pulled back, gasping for air as he looked into Xabi’s eyes. “I need you to fuck me.” Xabi said, taking his briefs the rest of the way off. Steven looked away, unbuttoning his shirt. Fucking, that was all they were doing, messing around. No feelings, no emotions, just lust. That was what Xabi wanted. He wanted Steven’s mouth, his dick. He didn’t want Steven. Steven looked over at Xabi as he reached behind him, grabbing the lube and condom. Xabi’s cock was glistening with spit, bouncing as he moved. Steven’s mouth couldn’t help but water at the site of Xabi’s ass, his toned thighs as he kneeled on the bed, waiting for Steven to finish getting undressed. “Oh, I will,” Steven said, smirking. Xabi grinned back at him. “I want you bent over the bed.” Steven said as he yanked his pants down, along with his briefs. Xabi did so, quickly. Xabi was panting, eager to be fucked. He thought that maybe, just maybe, this time after they fucked he wouldn’t feel anything, wouldn’t feel attached to Steven. He needed not to feel anything, he just wanted to have sex. He just wanted Steven to fuck him, but not really. Really what he wanted was for Steven to kiss him again like he did just before they ran up the stairs, grabbing at his crotch and pressing against his entrance through his pants. The way Steven made him feel in the stair well was what he wanted, he wanted to feel.... loved. He needed to feel wanted. Wanted by someone, and that someone was Steven. Steven spread Xabi’s legs wide as he kneeled down behind him, staring at his ass. Xabi’s cock was pressed against the sheets, his cheek resting on the bed as his hands clenched around the sheets. Steven’s hands spread Xabi’s cheeks as he placed open mouthed kisses over his ass, sucking and lapping at an area before moving on to another. Xabi whimpered, his legs stretching out, forcing his ass up closer to Steven’s mouth. Xabi gritted his teeth, raking them across his bottom lip as Steven’s thumb ghosted over his entrance, teasing him. Steven let go of Xabi, causing him to groan at the loss of contact. Steven licked his lips as he spread Xabi’s cheeks to the side as his tongue pressed against Xabi’s entrance, making him yelp. Steven withdrew, backing up. Xabi’s neck was craned so that he could look at Steven, his cheeks were flushed. Steven put a finger in his mouth, wetting it, then pressed it against Xabi’s entrance, making Xabi moan again. “What do you want?” Steven asked. Xabi buried his head against the sheets. “You.” He moaned as Steven’s finger went in slowly. Steven could feel himself blushing, he cleared his throat as he gripped himself with his other hand, stroking his neglected cock. “Yes, but what?” He asked again, pulling his finger back. Xabi’s legs found Steven, trying to bring him closer by hooking his feet around Steven’s thighs. “Your mouth, do that again.” Steven smiled, leaning over and sucking at Xabi’s wet hole. Xabi’s hips rolled at the contact, Steven’s tongue forcing its way against the muscle. “Yes, fucking yes.” Xabi spat, his fingers grasping at the sheets as he panted and moaned. Steven opened Xabi up with his mouth, taking his time as he worshipped his ass. Xabi’s hips moved at a slow pace, pressing against Steven’s face as he ate him. This was intimate, Xabi realized. This was not just fucking, this was Steven rimming him, showing him that maybe he meant more. Or that he just wanted Xabi’s ass. His mind was fuzzy, over sensitized by Steven’s mouth on him. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t restrain himself as he moaned Steven’s name over and over again. Steven pulled back, looking at Xabi’s ass as he uncapped the lube, pouring a generous amount onto his fingers then circling them around Xabi’s pink, puffy, eaten out hole. Xabi hissed at the cold sensation, wanting Steven’s mouth back on him but at the same time wanting what he knew was coming. Steven stood up, ripping open the condom and rolling it on. “Roll over.” Steven said. Xabi did so slowly, his legs like jelly already and his head spinning. Holding Xabi’s legs in the air, Steven entered him. Xabi, still holding onto the sheets, pulled them closer as he screamed at the intrusion. Steven filled him up, making his head swirl as he concentrated on relaxing. When he did, Steven began moving, the sound of sex filling the room. Noises escaped their lips as the indistinguishable sound of skin against skin filled their ears. The smell of sweat and sex permeated through the air as Steven set the pace, fast and shallow, his hands holding Xabi up by his ankles. Steven pushed Xabi’s legs to the side, so that Xabi’s torso was twisted, and bent over, his hands pressed against the bed for support. Xabi kept his legs to the side where Steven laid them, his hands grabbing onto Steven’s wrists which were by his shoulders, gripping onto them tightly as Steven thrust into him, not easing his momentum even for a moment. “Stevie-” Xabi said through baited breath, his hands still gripped tight around Steven’s wrists, they linked with Steven’s fingers. Steven’s arms gave way and he kissed Xabi as he lay on top of him, slowing his thrusts as he brought a knee up onto the bed. One of his hands clasped around Xabi’s neck, deepening the kiss. Xabi’s now free hand raked down Steven’s back, staying at the small of his back as Steven kissed him. “I’m close.” Steven whispered, his mouth still over Xabi’s. Xabi nodded, grabbing his own erection and pumping it, bringing himself closer to climax. He came only moments after Steven had. Rolling off of Xabi, Steven tied off the condom, throwing it into a waste basket that appeared next to the bed. Shrugging it off, Steven rolled back over to find Xabi’s legs curling around him, bringing him closer. Steven didn’t dare think that Xabi wanted to be close to him because he liked him, it was only because he had just fucked him raw. But still, he let him. His arms wrapped around him as they kissed again, their mouths open and hands through each others’ hair until they drifted off to sleep. Part Four Days passed and Xabi couldn’t stop thinking. Couldn’t stop thinking about Steven’s arms around him, about how he made him feel: wanted. They stole furtive glances from each other during classes, sat so that they could inconspicuously look at each other during meals. Xabi decided that he needed to stop seeing Steven. Not that they were seeing each other. He needed to stop groping him, stop blowing him, stop everything. His grades were slipping because he would rather find a place to jack off with Steven than study. He was sitting a table with Iker, Alvaro Arbeloa, and Raul Albiol as they worked on essays for History of Magic that were due the following day. Xabi was doing good, got a real flow going when his eyes drifted up, locking on Steven’s form as he entered the quiet library. Steven, as always, was with Jamie Carragher and Pepe Reina. Steven didn’t see Xabi until he was about to pass by his table. He smiled as he passed, but Xabi looked unhappy with his hand propping his head up as he stared down at his essay. Steven wanted to kick Xabi’s chair, get his attention, something. Pepe picked a table by the restricted section, knowing that no one would really be over in that part of the library. Steven was disappointed because he couldn’t see Xabi where they were sitting. On second thought, that was probably better. He would actually get work done. Steven was positive that he was going to combust mentally. His mind wouldn’t stop reeling, thinking about how he didn’t want to keep going, fucking Xabi and him not like him back. He tried to show him how much he cared while they fucked. He was almost positive that Xabi had done the same, the way he grabbed his wrists, the way he said his name... but the next day Xabi was back to normal, along with the day after. Now Steven was unsure, but he wasn’t going to back out, he wasn’t going to tell Xabi no. Without realizing he was doing it, Steven got up and walked over to Xabi’s table. He was alone, the rest of his group left him. Steven sat next to him, sitting backwards in the chair. Xabi side-eyed him as he wrote. Steven waited expectantly as Xabi pursed his lips. “Steven I need to write this.” He said, his voice firm. Steven nodded. “I know I have to write the same thing. I was thinking we could-” “I don’t think we should.” Xabi said, cutting Steven off. Steven’s face fell slightly. “Why?” He asked. Xabi dipped his quill in ink, writing another sentence before sighing and looking at Steven as he put the quill down. “I just.. I don’t think-” “What is your problem?” Steven asked, his voice harsh, biting. He didn’t understand what Xabi’s issue was. Xabi stared at Steven, his temper getting the better of him. “My problem? I don’t have one.” He said, his voice a little too loud, bring attention to them. “Just because I don’t want to be fucked” he spoke the last word hushed and under his breath, “doesn’t mean I have a fucking issue, Gerrard.” He hissed, standing up. Steven stood too, not understanding why Xabi used his last name on him. “I don’t think we should be doing this.” He said closing the distance between them. “Where is this coming from?” Steven said, loud enough for people in the tables by them to hear. “You didn’t complain the other night.” He snapped harshly. His heart was breaking, hearing Xabi say he didn’t want him. He was quickly trying to pick up the pieces, yelling was the reaction that came out, even if it wasn’t what he wanted to do. Someone cleared their voice next to them. It was the librarian. She pointed towards the door, practically shoving them out and closing the door in their faces. Steven grabbed Xabi’s arm, walking around the corner and shoved him up against the wall, his breath hot on Xabi’s neck as he whispered “Do you want me or not, Alonso?” Xabi’s name was said acidly, snarled and angry. Xabi’s fingers were clasped around Steven’s shirt, bunching it in his fists as moaned, his lips crashing against Steven’s as he kissed him. Steven’s hand found the back of Xabi’s neck, deepening the kiss. “I do. I do want you.” He said as his lips covered Steven’s, his fingers opening Steven’s pants, his hands reaching in and rubbing against the fabric of his briefs, outlining his erection. Steven looked around, tugging on Xabi’s tie, bringing them into a niche in the wall where a knight’s armor used to stand. This time Xabi pinned Steven against the wall, his hand still on his crotch. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” He said, his lips were on Steven’s neck as he pressed his hand against Steven’s erection, causing glorious friction, the way he knew Steven liked it. “I don’t either.” Steven said, his voice gruff as he rested his head against the cool stone of the wall. He didn’t expect Xabi to get down on his knees, taking Steven into his mouth. Steven covered his own mouth with a hand so he didn’t make a noise. Xabi closed his eyes as his mouth wrapped around Steven’s cock, his tongue swirling around his head as his hands pushed on Steven’s legs, urging him to spread them wider. Steven shut his eyes, his fingers raking through Xabi’s hair as he thought about Xabi’s mouth, about how it felt around him. Reality came to a crashing halt when Xabi’s tongue licked his length. Xabi just told him he didn’t want to fuck, wanted to stop what they were doing. Heart beating fast and chest heaving, Steven pushed Xabi’s mouth away from him. Xabi kneeled back, looking up at Steven as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Xabi’s eyes looked sad, hurt. Xabi reached up, touching Steven’s erection, wrapping his fingers around it and stroking. “Stop.” Steven said, releasing his hold on Xabi’s hair. Xabi’s hand dropped. Steven tucked himself in, hissing as he zipped his pants. Xabi bit his bottom lip, not understanding what was going on. His chest constricted. He told Steven he didn’t want him and now Steven was denying him. He wanted to take it back he wanted to tell him that he liked him, that he wanted him, and that he hadn’t meant it. “What?” Was all Xabi could say, his voice cracking as he looked up at Steven from where he was kneeling. He didn’t want to get up, he wanted to curl into a ball. Why couldn’t they go back to how they were, why couldn’t he turn off his feelings for Steven? It was unfair, he thought, that Steven wasn’t as emotionally attached as he was. Steven looked around, peeking his head around the corner of the niche, then looked back at Xabi and reached a hand out to help him up. “I don’t want to do this in a hallway.” He whispered close to Xabi’s mouth before kissing him. Xabi’s heart raced, a glimmer of hope rekindled in his mind. “You... you want to continue?” Xabi asked. He felt himself blushing. Steven has ruined him. Before Steven he was confident and didn’t care about almost everything. Now he wanted Steven’s approval, was unsure and just wanted... Steven. Steven looked at him like he was being ridiculous. “You know I do.” He said as he began walking back towards the library. Xabi’s brow furrowed. “Where are you-” “Our stuff is still in the library.” He stated. “And our essay is still due tomorrow.” He added in. Xabi frowned. He didn’t want to do that stupid essay. He wanted Steven. They gathered up their things in silence, Steven telling his friends that he had to go without further explanation, and Xabi got an evil death glare from the librarian. They rushed up to their secret, hidden room. This time when they opened the door, inside was a huge bed, bigger than the last time. There was more furniture, stylized, antique. Xabi and Steven looked at each other as if asking for an explanation. Steven couldn’t help but think it was because as they were walking up to the door he was hoping that this wouldn’t be the last time they fucked, he was afraid that it was. Xabi thought it was because he wanted to tell Steven that he wanted something more, that he wanted to be something, anything with him. Not the nameless nondescript whatever that they currently were. Neither said what they were thinking. Instead, Xabi shut the door and dropped his bag, immediately tugging on Steven’s belt loops, bringing him closer. Their lips locked together, hands untucking each others shirts and unzipping pants, ridding each other of their clothes sans their briefs. Steven moaned as Xabi touched him, his briefs wet from precum, leaking achingly from Xabi’s mouth earlier. Xabi sucked on Steven’s bottom lip as he worked him with his hand, pumping and stroking, rolling Steven’s balls and tugging on them. “Can you-” Steven began to say, but before he needed to say anything more Xabi was back on his knees in front of him, taking Steven into his wet mouth. Steven let out a whimpered moan, wishing he had something to hold onto for support. Looking at Xabi blow him was almost as hot as the feeling itself. “Fuck yes.” He hissed in response to Xabi swirling his tongue around Steven’s head. Steven shut his eyes, wanting to remember the feeling. Dread filled him, thinking that this was it, that it wouldn’t happen again. Xabi took Steven into his mouth as far as he could, opening his throat for him, choking back then withdrawing from him. Catching his breath, Xabi jacked Steven off. He looked up at him, his mouth puffy and thoroughly fucked. Xabi bit his lower lip then placed open mouthed kisses along Steven’s shaft, his tongue trailing up his length as he worshipped Steven’s cock. With his free hand, Xabi kneaded his own crotch through his briefs, stroking himself over the fabric and applying pressure. He grasped at his own balls, tugging on them as he took Steven back into his mouth, engulfing him. Xabi closed his eyes and hummed, sending vibrations throughout his mouth, making Steven moan out his name. He wanted Steven to say his name over and over, he didn’t want him to stop. Steven’s fingers once again found Xabi’s hair, applying the slightest bit of pressure to the back of Xabi’s head. It was nothing like what Xabi had done to Steven days before, this was like a suggestion. Xabi shoved Steven’s cock down his throat, begging to be treated like he had done to Steven. Steven didn’t, though. Xabi wanted to be used, he wanted Steven to fuck his mouth. He wanted the line drawn, he wanted to be shown that Steven didn’t care for him. He was getting mixed signals, he was giving them himself. He kept his head down, kept Steven’s cock down his throat as long as he could, choking. Steven’s fingers grasped Xabi’s hair and pulled him back, a string of saliva linked Xabi’s fucked mouth to Steven’s dick. Xabi’s eyes looked into Steven’s, pleading for something. Steven didn’t understand what Xabi wanted. All he knew was that he wanted to fuck him, hard and slow. Not rushed and desperately. He wanted to remember this. Xabi wiped his mouth, riding himself of the wet link to Steven. His breathing stilted, he stood up, grasping Steven’s cock and pressing his lips against Steven’s collar bone. Marking him, Xabi nipped and lapped at Steven’s skin, making him hiss and moan his name once more. “Xabi.” Steven whispered, his voice hoarse. Xabi didn’t stop, his thumb pressing against Steven’s head. “Fuck Xabi I am going to come.” Steven said, his hands grabbing at Xabi’s ass, a finger pressed against his entrance through the thin fabric of Xabi’s briefs. Xabi smiled at Steven, quickening his pace until Steven came on Xabi’s hand. Xabi brought his fingers up to his mouth, licking them clean. Steven watched him do it, thinking only about how red Xabi’s mouth was, how worn and fucked. Xabi’s eyes were wide, full of something Steven couldn’t put his finger on. With one hand Steven rubbed circles around Xabi’s entrance while with the other, he used two fingers to outline Xabi’s throbbing, dripping erection through the now wet fabric of his briefs. Xabi moaned, biting his lip as he watched Steven touch him. Their bodies colliding, Xabi wrapped his arms around Steven’s shoulders, his elbow bending, his fingers through Steven’s hair as their mouth’s crashed together in an open mouthed kiss. Steven was the one to break the kiss, his fingers applying pressure to both Xabi’s hole and erection. “I am going to fuck you.” He stated. Xabi nodded and nodded, not stopping as he licked his lips. “Yes, that is what I want.” “Are you sure?” Steven asked, his fingers releasing Xabi. They looked at each other for a moment, neither sure exactly what the other wanted, both only hoping. As an answer, Xabi gripped Steven’s wrist, bringing Steven’s palm back against his crotch then moaning. Relieved, Steven guided Xabi over to the bed, pushing him onto his back. Xabi climbed into the middle of the bed and leaned back on his elbows so that he could see Steven climb onto the bed after him. Steven leaned down, his lips open as he dragged his mouth over Xabi’s erection. Xabi tilted his head back, moaning as he pulled one leg closer, his toes curling. Steven tugged Xabi’s briefs down as Xabi lifted his ass in the air, freeing his cock. Throbbing from neglect and torturous teasing, Xabi’s cock bounced free. Steven’s hands slid up and down Xabi’s thighs as he looked at it, but didn’t touch. Steven spread Xabi’s thighs with his hands, bending Xabi’s knees and holding onto his ankles. Steven rested his head on Xabi’s thigh for only a moment, looking him in the eye. Xabi was biting his lower lip, refusing to break eye contact. “What do you want?” It felt like a loaded question, with Steven’s head on his thigh, Xabi’s erection wanting attention, he wanted everything and nothing. He wanted to lay there and stare at Steven, he wanted Steven’s mouth on him, he wanted to be fucked, he wanted to tell him he liked him. Xabi rolled his hips, fucking the air. Steven’s mouth was open, inviting, but he didn’t move his head. “I want you.” He answered vaguely. Xabi swore he saw disappointment spread across Steven’s face. Steven turned his head inwards, his mouth attaching to Xabi’s thigh as he sucked at it, right near Xabi’s cock. Steven was so close to his dick that Xabi wanted to cry out. Instead Steven sucked harder, his teeth grazing the flesh, his tongue lapping at it until it was marked, red and purple. Xabi threw his head back as Steven did the same to his other leg. Steven wasn’t in a hurry, he wanted it to last. He was almost hard again, listening to Xabi’s sounds, the reaction his body was having to Steven’s every touch. Steven couldn’t help but think and hope that he meant more to Xabi than a good fuck. Without realizing that Steven was going to do it, Xabi screamed out when Steven licked up his length then sucked for only a second at his head, teasing him. Xabi hummed, his legs kicking out but Steven stopped him, his hands were still grasping at Xabi’s ankles. “You’re killing me.” Xabi exclaimed. Steven rested his head against Xabi’s thigh again, looking at him. “Am not.” “Yes, you are.” Xabi said, panting. His body was covered in sweat and his cock was leaking. He was becoming undone and he couldn’t help but think that Steven was doing it to him on purpose. “That wasn’t my intention.” Steven whispered, his hands releasing their grip on Xabi’s ankles. Xabi stretched his legs out then placed them on Steven’s thighs. Xabi lay back on the bed, covering his face in his hands. “I just want you.” He said, his voice muffled by his hands. With that, Steven’s hand wrapped around Xabi’s erection, stroking him slowly, using the precum as lube as he jacked him off. Xabi almost flew off the bed, his reaction to Steven’s touch sent a shiver down Steven’s spine. Opening his mouth, Xabi wet two of his fingers with his tongue, needing to do something, anything as Steven numbingly stroked him so slowly that he thought he would pass out. It only made him pant harder, grasping at the sheets with one hand as he moaned against his fingers with the other. Steven looked around, finding the condom and lube on the bedside table like before. He backed up, releasing Xabi so that he could grab the supplies. Xabi sat up immediately, head buzzing and foggy. Steven smiled at Xabi, who scooted over, closer to Steven. Xabi’s arms reached out, wrapping around Steven, pulling him in for a kiss. Steven kissed him with everything he had, wanting to somehow telepathically tell him that he wanted him, wanted to be with him. Xabi pulled Steven down on top of him, his legs wrapping around him. Steven put his arms out in front of him, his palms landing on either side of Xabi’s head as they continued kissing. “I want you.” Xabi whispered against Steven’s lips as his hand reached down between them, his fingers wrapping around both of their erections, jacking them off simultaneously. Steven couldn’t help but swell with hope. Steven’s went down onto his elbows, his fingers raking through Xabi’s hair as they kissed, Xabi’s wrist twisting and pulling them into bliss. “Let me at you then.” Steven said, his thumb brushing across Xabi’s lips as his hands cupped his face. Xabi’s legs loosened from around Steven, his hand dropping from their cocks. “OK.” He said, his voice small and wavering. Steven looked into his eyes, wanting to tell him how he felt. Instead he gave him a smile, kissing him once more as a hand left Xabi’s face and slid up and down his thigh. “Roll over.” Steven said, sitting up. Xabi did so, getting on his knees then bending over, his head on the sheets, his hands clenched around the sheets. He breathed out of his mouth as he closed his eyes, waiting for Steven’s fingers. Steven took his time, looking Xabi over as he poured lube onto his hand. He rubbed his hand over Xabi’s ass, pressing two fingers around Xabi’s entrance, not breaching him. Xabi’s hips rolled back at the contact, wanting the intrusion. Steven let one finger slip in, reveling in the feeling and the sounds that escaped from Xabi. Steven was slow, methodical, as he worked Xabi open. Every movement of his fingers elicited a noise, a moan from Xabi. He liked Xabi like this, his reactions. It was the polar opposite of the Xabi everyone else knew. Xabi looked back at Steven, giving him that same sad look. Steven bit his lip as he withdrew his fingers. “Are you sure that this is what you want?” Steven asked. The question felt loaded to Xabi, that Steven was talking about more than just sex, more than just about what they were doing right then and there. Xabi didn’t know how to answer, not when he was like this, bent over in front of Steven, vulnerable. Instead of answering, Xabi sat up, turning around to face him. He reached out, grabbing onto Steven’s wrist and pulling him closer. The kiss was electrifying, loaded itself with wants and needs. Xabi pushed Steven onto his back then straddled him. When he broke the kiss, he was smiling at him. “Yes.” He answered. He wanted Steven, he wanted more, he wanted so so much more. Xabi, in that instant, realized that Steven could want the same as him. His tender kisses, marking Xabi’s thighs... Steven’s hands slid up Xabi’s thighs again, his thumbs pressing against those marks, making Xabi hiss. Xabi looked around for the condom. When saw it, he leaned over getting it and ripping it open with his teeth. Steven licked his lips as he watched Xabi put it on him, rolling it down his shaft and stroking him as he pressed Steven against his entrance as he straddled him. Xabi placed a hand on Steven’s chest as he rolled his hips, pushing against Steven’s cock and fucking himself on it. Steven remained still, letting Xabi do what he wanted. Xabi’s fingers dug into Steven’ chest, pressing against him as he moved. Steven’s hands rested on Xabi’s thighs, his mouth remained open as he watched Xabi. Xabi closed his eyes, his head tilting back. He was moving slowly, letting Steven’s cock fill him, he wanted to be close to him. Xabi leaned down, his elbows on the bed and his mouth hovering over Steven’s. Steven grabbed onto Xabi’s ass and began thrusting upwards, hard and fast. Xabi screamed into Steven’s mouth, kissing him as Steven’ fucked him. His head fell to Steven’s shoulder, his fists clenched around the sheets that surrounded them. Even with the pace that Steven was going at, Xabi felt closer to him, like this meant more than it did the other day. His mind flashed to his hands wrapped around Steven’s wrists, about when Steven kissed him as they were having sex. Overwhelmed, Xabi bit his lower lip, holding back an onrush of feelings that were engulfing him. He wanted more. His lips found Steven’s skin in the nook between his shoulder and neck, sucking and planting kisses there. He moaned as he grabbed his own erection and stroked himself as Steven slowed his thrusts, his hands pushing Xabi down, impaling him on his cock. Xabi moaned against Steven’s neck, his lips pressed against his skin. Steven came in waves, riding in on the sound of their moans, the sound of skin against skin. Xabi, gripped his dick at the head, giving small strokes, his index finger and thumb wrapped around it tightly, forcing himself to come faster. Steven pulled out of Xabi, ridding himself of the condom. Xabi wanted to curl in a ball. The actual act of fucking made him feel amazing, it was the time afterwards that he felt empty. Only this time he had the guts to speak up about it. As Steven crawled under the sheets, spent, Xabi’s hands found Steven’s as he followed him. “Stevie.” He whispered. Steven looked at him as he panted, catching his breath. Steven waited for it, for Xabi to tell him that he didn’t actually want him, that this was the end. Steven’s fingers linked lazily with Xabi’s. “Yeah?” He asked, since Xabi didn’t seem in a hurry to say anything else. “I don’t want this.” He said. Steven felt gutted. Worse than gutted. He wanted to get out of the bed, the only thing that stopped him is the fact that Xabi’s hand tightened around his. A knot quickly formed in Steven’s stomach. “I don’t either.” Steven heard himself say. It was true, wasn’t it? He didn’t want whatever they had going on he wanted- “I want more.” Xabi whispered, his voice unsure. Steven’s heart stopped. “I know we started out just, you know, fucking and messing around and everything but I really really want-” “You want me to take you out or something?” Steven asked, his voice full of hope. Xabi laughed, smiling and covering his face with his free hand. He nodded. Steven laughed. “You want me to fucking take you on a date?” He asked, a finger poking Xabi in his side. “Really?” Xabi asked, his legs tangling with Steven’s as his head came to rest on Steven’s shoulder. He felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. Steven wanted him. He wasn’t alone. He wasn’t alone, not anymore. It didn’t matter about his family anymore. He didn’t have to end up like them, he could have something worth wanting. He could have Steven. “Yeah. I didn’t think you wanted me.” Steven said, honestly. The look on Xabi’s face said everything, that he had felt the same way. “Obviously we were both daft.” He said, smiling. Obviously, they had been. 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