Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2180889.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Captain_America_(Movies), Divergent_Series_-_Veronica_Roth
  Relationship:
      James_"Bucky"_Barnes/Steve_Rogers
  Character:
      James_"Bucky"_Barnes, Steve_Rogers, Clint_Barton, Brock_Rumlow, Natasha
      Romanov
  Additional Tags:
      Divergent_AU, Alternate_Universe_-_Divergent, Slash, Pre-Serum_Steve
      Rogers, Pre-Relationship, First_Kiss, First_Time, POV_Third_Person, The
      Author_Regrets_Nothing, Steve_Feels, Abnegation_Steve, Dauntless_Bucky,
      Lemon, Wait_make_that_lemons, God_I_don't_use_fruitwords_enough, Anal
      Sex, handjobs, Oral_Sex, Post-choosing_ceremony_so_they're_probably_about
      16/17
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-08-22 Updated: 2014-08-31 Chapters: 5/? Words: 5621
****** Put Your Hand Into the Flames ******
by FinalFallenFantasy
Summary
     Steve is weak, sickly. He couldn't last in Dauntless. Smothered in
     Abnegation grey, he helps the factionless, delivers food, becomes a
     model initiate. When the world makes him dizzy, he grounds himself in
     blue eyes and the boy who lets him be selfish.
Notes
     So I couldn't help but notice how this isn't a thing. Or it is a
     thing I can't find. So I decided to rectify this. With my first
     fanfic in about four/five years. Sorry if it's a bit shit - my
     writing ability drastically lowers when I write fanfic, and I haven't
     for a while.
     This'll probably be a few chapters long but beware: I have a terrible
     habit of not finishing fanfics, so each chapter will try to be a
     potential ending so even if I run out of time and inclination, it
     will be ok. I hope. OHGODPLEASEDON'THATEME.
     I hope it brings some joy. Title and chapter titles from the
     Divergent soundtrack (fic title from Hanging On by Ellie Goulding)
***** What You Want (And What You Chose) *****
Faction before blood. He knows this. He knows it so well. Faction before love.
But that doesn’t stop him from seeking this. This heat. A searing mouth on his
cheek, his neck. Strong, desperate hands on his skin, rumpling the grey,
shapeless clothes and ruining him.
It started months ago. At the choosing ceremony. Steve had picked the faction
he knew he could thrive in, one where his asthma and his frail body made no
difference. Out of all the five, it was the only one both mind and body could
choose. But that didn’t stop him wanting. After initiation, he’d tried to feel
as though Abnegation was where he truly belonged. There was so much beauty in
the way they worked as a whole, all striving for the good of others. It was
wonderful.
It couldn’t last. He’d always been a protector, and while that suited him
perfectly for Abnegation, he had always known he should be a soldier, helping
to defend those in the city from threats both within and without. He believed
in the ordinary acts of bravery that drove one person to stand up for another.
His test results had been inconclusive. The redhaired Dauntless woman
overseeing his test had made him promise to keep it a secret, told him he was
right for choosing Abnegation, that he would be safer there. Dauntless was no
place for the weak, or Divergent.
Despite that, he wanted to join the warrior faction. But he knew that with the
new initiation rules for the Dauntless, he would be factionless in days, and he
had no desire for that. Better to feed the lost than become lost himself.
And so, at the choosing ceremony, Steve had cut his hand and dropped his blood
in the bowl of grey, feeling sick and more lost than he ever had before. His
new faction welcomed him with open arms – he was one of only two transfers –
and he took his seat with them, a lone blue figure in a sea of grey.
He felt like he might have an asthma attack, or faint (it wouldn’t be the first
time), or throw up. It was the wrong decision. Better factionless than in the
wrong faction. He should have been Dauntless. Should have picked Dauntless. He
looked across the room, towards the Dauntless initiates, the laughing, pushing
Dauntless-born with their dyed hair and tattoos, and the transfers in their old
colours, looking almost as sick as he did.
He met the eyes of a Dauntless transfer with dark hair and Amity clothes. Steve
had never seen eyes so blue. They stared at one another across the room, and
everything, the ceremony, the choice, the fact that he was sitting on the wrong
side of the room, faded away. Steve grounded himself in those eyes, and the
world began to feel solid again.
***** You Can't Have Both *****
Chapter Summary
     Asthma attack, factionless attack, Bucky attack, heart attack, Steve
     just can't get a break.
     Yeah only three of those things actually happen.
Chapter Notes
     So I already have a reasonable amount of this written. Chances are
     it'll be at least 15,000 words (it's over 10,000 already). When did
     that happen? It was meant to be a short oneshot set in Divergentland.
     Dayumn.
     Enjoy!
It wasn’t until two weeks later, well into the initiation tests, that he met
the blue-eyed boy again. He was helping with a food delivery to the Dauntless
headquarters, and the Dauntless initiates were fetching and carrying alongside
him. They didn’t speak to one another – after all, he was a Stiff, a grey
ghost.
As he struggled to lift a sack of grain, two larger hands closed over his and
pulled it up, away and onto the shoulder of the boy from the choosing ceremony.
His eyes were as blue now as they had been, and Steve wished he could lose
himself in them just once more.
But he lowered his gaze, turned to help another Abnegation member with a bag of
vegetables, stayed silent like a good Stiff. He didn’t need to get a crush on a
Dauntless initiate. It was hard enough already.
They didn’t speak that day, but the boy with the blue eyes smiled at him and
said thank you once everything was stored. Steve had melted, smiled back and
wished so hard he could go back and change his choice.
‘You’re welcome,’ he said quietly, lowering his eyes again. It was surprising
how quickly the habits of Abnegation had become ingrained. He missed the blunt,
confident Erudite way of looking you right in the eyes, but he had never
belonged there.
Steve volunteered immediately for the next food delivery. He knew it was
stupid, that he was only making it harder for himself. Settling into Abnegation
would be easier if he didn’t insist on chasing after Dauntless. But he wanted
to see them – him – again.
This time, the boy smiled when he saw him, his hair longer and eyes ringed with
black. Steve smiled shyly back. He had recognised him.
‘What’s your name?’ the boy asked quietly as they carried the food inside.
Steve stared at him for a moment. Since joining Abnegation, no other faction
members had spoken to him – Erudite was spreading lies about them again, and
they were no longer trusted.
‘Steve Rogers,’ he whispered back.
‘I’m Bucky. Bucky Barnes,’ the boy – Bucky – said with another smile.
When the delivery was stored, Bucky had brushed a gentle hand down Steve’s arm
and said goodbye as though he meant hello. Steve’s arm tingled for the rest of
the day, and he felt a pleasant warmth throughout his entire body. He told
himself it was just because it was the only physical contact he’d had for
weeks.
The next time they saw each other was when a factionless woman had somehow
gotten hold of a knife and was threatening Steve with it. He’d been turning
away from giving her a bowl of soup, to ladle some out to the man beside her,
when she’d suddenly dropped her bowl and pressed a knife to his throat. He’d
tried talking to her quietly, calmly, telling her,
‘You don’t want to do this. Think of your friends; who will feed them if you
scare us away?’
He asked her about her life, who she had to live for, why she hated him. His
Abnegation shift partner gently tried to draw her attention away, but she was
determined.
She was mad. She had rambled incoherently about faction oppression and that her
children needed to eat (she had no children) and that Steve was the devil sent
to tempt them with food and kindness. It hadn’t stopped Steve from trying to
reason with her.
Someone must have alerted Dauntless, because there was a ringing shot and the
woman's voice ceased. She collapsed to her knees behind Steve. He turned with a
surprised gasp – they hadn’t killed her, had they? He knelt beside her and
rolled her onto her back. She was lying on the ground, a tranquiliser dart
sticking out of her throat, and Bucky was standing at the other end of the
alley with the other Dauntless initiates, staring wide-eyed at Steve. He was
the only one aiming his gun.
An older Dauntless member – their trainer? – clapped Bucky on the shoulder and
said something that was probably congratulatory, but he didn’t take his eyes
from Steve’s. As the Dauntless moved forwards to check the other factionless
for weapons, Steve stood and turned to pick up the fallen soup bowl and ladle,
the soup spilled and soaking into the concrete ground, wasted. His breath was
coming short but there were more mouths to feed. He’d be fine.
Steve refilled the bowl and continued spooning soup into factionless bowls,
empty eyes and empty stomachs calling him on, but breathing wasn’t getting any
easier; an attack was coming on. He hurried to feed three more factionless and
turned back to the wagon. His throat was closing up and he couldn’t gulp air
fast enough to make up for it. He dropped the bowl and ladle into the wagon
before rifling through his pockets for his inhaler, hands scrabbling as the
coughing wheezes intensified.
He couldn’t find it, and his breath was coming shorter and shorter. He coughed,
his lungs searching desperately for air and where was his inhaler, did he leave
it at home? He sank slowly to his knees, the world fogging over, and he
couldn’t breathe and where was it? He couldn’t stop coughing, he couldn’t calm
down, he was too tense, he needed to calm down or he would pass out, where was
his inhaler, where was it?
Then there were hands on his shoulders, pulling him up, making him sit back on
his heels, a hand fumbling with something small and plastic, trying to make him
hold it. The inhaler. He brought his hand up, engulfed in someone else’s, and
took three puffs in quick succession. His throat opened a bit and he could
breathe. His heart was pummelling his ribs as his lungs strained to breathe in
slowly and deeply, rather than hyperventilate into another attack.
‘Breathe with me,’ a voice murmured into his ear. Steve pressed back into the
chest behind him and tried to breathe as deeply and calmly as the boy there.
The air came in shuddering gasps, steadying and slowing with each breath.
‘Are you alright now?’ And this time Steve recognised the voice. It was Bucky.
He’d expected another Abnegation member – were Dauntless even allowed to help
like this? He relaxed further back into Bucky’s chest, shivering at the warmth
and something else he really didn’t want to think about.
‘I think so.’ He tried to stand – he shouldn’t be selfish. Bucky had already
put himself out to help Steve, trying to remain in contact for no reason was
taking advantage of his kindness. Bucky held on for a moment before letting go,
half-pushing him into a standing position.
His knees wobbled a little under him but he stayed upright. Bucky stood up
beside him, and took a step away. Steve’s Abnegation partner placed a hand on
his back and glanced at Bucky, a gentle reminder. Steve turned to face Bucky,
aware he probably looked like a nightmare come to life, and murmured,
‘Thank you for your kindness.’
‘Anytime,’ Bucky answered, subdued.
‘Barnes, let’s go!’ his trainer barked. Bucky nodded and sprinted after the
other Dauntless initiates, towards the train tracks. Steve watched after him
until he disappeared around the corner of a building.
***** Pump the Blood (And Leave it Alone) *****
Chapter Summary
     Steve dreams a lot, and procrasturbates. Bucky is a handsy ex-Amity.
Chapter Notes
     Ok, so I've realised the major issue with my fics - I write them in a
     vacuum. I'll try to rectify this in this fic but it's already halfway
     finished so I might not edit it enough :/ we'll see. Either way, I
     hope you enjoy it.
Steve volunteered for every food delivery and factionless shift he could after
that. His leaders were quietly proud of him – he was a model initiate. But
while it was true that he wanted to make up for causing so much trouble with
the factionless woman and his asthma attack, he also wanted to distract himself
from his unwanted crush on Bucky Barnes. But he still signed up for the
Dauntless drop-offs just in case.
At night, when he had time to himself, when he should be sleeping, Steve would
try not to think about Bucky – whether he was still an initiate, whether he had
dropped out, whether he had been punished for helping Steve, if he thought
about Steve as much as Steve thought of him. Too often, Steve would end up
silently getting off on the thought of Bucky doing the same over him. Too often
he would wake thrumming with arousal after a dream about tangled legs and dirty
sheets. It was pathetic, but he didn’t know how to stop. It would run its
course eventually.
When he did see Bucky, he smiled and quietly asked how he was, eyes lowered;
outwardly the perfect Abnegation initiate. But no one noticed the way his
glance kept flickering up to meet Bucky’s, the blue irises like a drug he
couldn’t quit. No one noticed the way his palms sweated and his cheeks flushed
when their fingers touched handing over boxes of eggs or fruit. No one noticed
how painfully hard he got when Bucky licked his lips and undid the zip on his
jacket a bit further to reveal smooth skin over delicate collarbones.
‘Me, I’m fine,’ Bucky laughed, the next time Steve saw him. ‘Right as the mail.
How are you doing? Haven’t died choking yet?’
‘I’m well,’ Steve replied, forcing himself to look at the ground as he carried
a sack of dried peas into a storeroom.
Bucky hoisted his grain bag onto a shelf and casually slung an arm around
Steve’s shoulders as they headed back out. It felt like someone had sent a
lightning bolt straight to Steve’s cock. He wanted to turn and bury his head in
Bucky’s chest, kiss the smirk off those full lips, unzip that jacket all the
way down and lick from his collar to his hips and further.
Stop it, he told himself. You’re Abnegation, you’re a Stiff, you’re not meant
to have selfish desires. Ignore it.
‘You know, there’s a lot of shit said about you Stiffs,’ Bucky said, his
fingers idly stroking Steve’s arm. Steve tensed at the word ‘Stiff’, but it
didn’t sound like an epithet coming from Bucky. ‘But I think it’s pretty cool.
You guys do so much for other people. I mean, you worked through a damn asthma
attack to feed people who’d just tried to kill you. It’s nuts.’ Bucky paused,
pulling his arm away as they neared the door, sliding his hand down Steve’s
back as he let go. Steve fought not to shudder at the sensation, arch into it
like a cat. He told himself it wasn’t deliberate, it was just the way Bucky was
– he’d been in Amity, and Amity was big on physical contact. It didn’t mean
anything.
‘You’re pretty amazing,’ Bucky said, more quietly, and Steve had never wanted
something so badly in his life as to just kiss Bucky.
But he didn’t. He looked down again, away, and murmured, ‘Thank you.’ It came
out shaky and rough, and for a moment Steve was terrified Bucky would notice
how hard he was for him under his baggy Abnegation clothes.
‘You’re welcome,’ Bucky said with a small smile before he walked back towards
the other Dauntless initiates, his hips swaying just enough to make Steve flush
an even darker shade of pink. A blond initiate with broad shoulders playfully
punched Bucky in the shoulder when he reached them, and Steve turned away.
***** There's Something Happening Here *****
Chapter Summary
     Bucky corners Steve.
     Warning: NSFW
Chapter Notes
     So here's where it degenerated into PWP originally (and then I went
     back and halfheartedly dragged it out of the swamp so it's sort of
     neither here nor there now). I warn you, it contains sex, tattoos and
     Bucky in a tank top (the world needs more of it).
     So much for that vacuum I was talking about. It's here to stay.
At the next Dauntless food drop-off, Bucky caught Steve by surprise as he
walked into a storeroom carrying a net of fruit. He turned to put it on the top
shelf, standing on tiptoes to reach and still just missing, and a warm body
slipped behind his, gently removing the fruit from his hands and placing it on
the shelf. Steve didn’t even jump.
He turned to face Bucky. His bright eyes were dark in the dim storeroom. He was
wearing a tank top, revealing a sleeve of tattoos down his left arm. Steve
wondered how he’d found the time in four weeks to get that many done. One of
his eyes was surrounded by a deep purple bruise, and he had a small row of
stitches along his cheekbone. He looked different, stronger. Steve wanted to
bite him, lick along his neck, feel the new muscles flex under his hands. He
was glad the Abnegation clothes were so shapeless.
‘Hi,’ Steve said quietly with a smile. There was no reason to whisper, but he
felt that speaking any louder would break the spell.
‘Hi,’ Bucky breathed. He didn’t move away. Steve yearned to reach out and touch
him, run his hand up under Bucky’s shirt and stroke his skin with adoring
fingers, but he didn’t. He was Abnegation. Bucky was Dauntless. This could not
be. But that couldn’t stop the wanting. And Steve did want.
‘How are you?’ he tried. Bucky didn’t reply, just pressed himself against
Steve, pushing him back harder into the shelves, and dropped his face into the
crook of Steve’s neck.
‘Tell me to stop,’ he murmured. For a moment, all Steve could hear was his own
heartbeat rushing in his ears as he felt what was unmistakeably Bucky’s cock,
hard through his trousers, press against his hip.
He opened his mouth to make excuses; they were needed outside, they were two
different factions, but no words came out.
Then Bucky started kissing his neck, slow and wet and hot, gently scraping his
teeth over the sensitive skin. Steve shuddered and his hands came up to clutch
at Bucky’s back, fingers digging into the fabric of his vest. All thoughts of
telling Bucky to stop flew out of his head.
He let out a quiet whimper and felt Bucky smile against his neck before
starting to gently suck on the skin where his neck joined his shoulder, biting
harder. Steve couldn’t contain the moan this elicited and wrapped his arms
around Bucky’s neck, pulling him closer and harder against him.
God, he was lost. He knew someone could walk in at any moment, but he was too
far gone to care. It hadn’t taken much, just Bucky kissing his throat, but
Steve had dreamed of this for weeks. Bucky lifted his head from his neck and
glanced towards the door, but no one was there. Steve shivered again, this time
from the lack of sensation, and crushed himself to Bucky’s torso.
‘More,’ he whispered, sinking his own teeth into Bucky’s neck, sucking hard and
flicking his tongue over the salty skin. Bucky growled and jerked his hips
forward, hard enough to bruise but Steve didn’t care. This was better than any
dream, so much better. Bucky resumed sucking and biting at his neck, and
Steve’s eyes fluttered shut. He let his head fall back, and Bucky slid his hand
up to cup the back of his head, cradling it as he nipped red marks into Steve’s
skin.
Steve was so hard it hurt by now, and he rolled his hips forward, pressing his
cock against Bucky’s leg and rubbing. He was mortified and tried to tell
himself to stop, that he should push Bucky away and go, not encourage this
madness. But Bucky didn’t seem to mind; he pushed his leg forwards, between
Steve’s, and crooked it, flexing his thigh to provide more friction as he
thrust his own hips against Steve’s. Steve let out another breathy whimper, and
Bucky moaned quietly in response, lifting his head to look Steve in the eyes.
Christ, that was hot. Steve couldn’t last long with those blue eyes watching
him so hungrily. He jerked his hips faster and harder, Bucky’s snapping back in
return. Steve closed his eyes for a moment; it was embarrassing, having Bucky
watch him so closely like that.
‘Look at me,’ Bucky said softly, less an order than a request, and Steve’s eyes
flew open. His breath came in short bursts but he didn’t feel like he needed
his inhaler. Bucky’s bright blue eyes were gazing at him with the same
intensity they’d held at the choosing ceremony, but close, so close. Another
wave of arousal crashed through Steve, making him harder than he’d ever been
before. Did Bucky even know what he was doing to him?
A hand fumbled with his shirt, pulling it up and out of the way, before
slipping down under the waistband of his trousers – Christ, he was glad he’d
foregone underwear today – to wrap tightly around his cock.
‘Are you going to come for me?’ Bucky sounded as breathless as Steve, his eyes
lit up with excitement. Steve managed to nod, breathing ragged and now he
really might need his inhaler.
‘Say my name, Steve, say it when you come,’ Bucky breathed, lips inches from
Steve’s, and it was hearing Bucky say his name that finally did it.
‘Ah… Bucky…’ he choked out, shaking and coming apart, hips snapping forwards
jerkily as his orgasm hit. It rolled through him to the tips of his fingers and
Jesus Christ he hadn’t even known that that was possible, that it was possible
to feel this good. He moaned a little breathily and dropped forwards to rest
his forehead on Bucky’s shoulder.
Bucky’s hips jerked twice more before he gave a quiet, strained moan, and fell
limp against Steve, shuddering. Steve turned to bury his face in Bucky’s
collarbone and sighed.
Bucky gave his softening cock one final, gentle, stroke, before pulling his
hand out of Steve’s trousers and bringing it to his mouth. Steve looked up and
watched, mesmerised, as Bucky licked his cum off his fingers. Bucky noticed him
watching and smiled –not a smirk, not smug, a genuine smile – as though Steve
was something special. Steve smiled back, a little tiredly, and wrapped his
arms around Bucky to rest his head on his collarbone. Bucky pulled him towards
him, away from the shelves, and into a warm, gentle hug. He rested his cheek on
Steve’s head with a sigh.
It took a moment for the shame to hit, but when it did it hit full force. The
smile dropped off Steve’s face like oil and he tensed in Bucky’s arms. How
could he have just had sex with a boy he barely knew? Sex? Was that what it
was? Did it count if they were wearing clothes? He’d had an orgasm – one hell
of an orgasm – so it was more than just making out. Was it sex? Had he just
lost his virginity in a storeroom in Dauntless headquarters? To a boy he’d met
three times? He was supposed to be a selfless, reserved Abnegation initiate,
helping with a food delivery, not fucking in a cupboard with a boy he barely
knew and hadn’t even kissed yet. He hadn’t even gotten Bucky off.
‘What is it?’ Bucky asked. ‘What’s wrong?’
Steve just shook his head. He didn’t even know where to start. ‘Nothing.’ He
forced a smile. ‘I’m fine.’
‘Sorry if…’ Bucky stepped back and ran a hand through his hair. ‘Sorry if I
went a little fast. I just... I’ve just wanted to do that for a while. I didn’t
mean to-’
‘No, no, I loved it,’ Steve interrupted, blushing at the heat in his own voice.
He hadn’t meant to make it that obvious how much he’d wanted it. ‘I just. I’m
meant to be out there helping the others and instead I’m in here, being selfish
with you and,’ he was rambling, he knew it. ‘I’m really bad at this whole
selfless thing and I just wasn’t expecting it but I really enjoyed it and I
didn’t even get you off and-’ he stopped, realising what he’d just said.
Bucky laughed, his smile lighting up his eyes again.
‘Hey, I enjoyed it too, in case you didn’t notice. Don’t worry about it.’ He
grinned broadly. ‘And anyway, you can return the favour next time.’
Steve flushed red at the thought of doing this again, and felt his cock twitch,
stiffening again. God, he could go all day and night if they could find a way.
‘Sure thing,’ he replied, sounding more confident than he felt. He pulled his
shirt back into some semblance of order and grimaced at the damp feeling in his
trousers. Thank God it didn’t show, unlike the purple mark blossoming on
Bucky’s neck.
‘Uh, you…’ Steve stuttered, gesturing at his own neck.
‘Marked me, did you?’ Bucky’s hand came up to cover the hickey, rubbing at the
skin. He grinned at Steve. ‘Dauntless. They won’t care.’ He reached across to
press two fingers to the join of Steve’s neck and shoulder. ‘You’ll be able to
hide yours.’ Steve’s hand clamped to his shoulder and his eyes widened. What if
someone saw it? How could he explain something as obvious as a hickey away?
‘It’s under your collar,’ Bucky murmured, running his hand down Steve’s neck,
making him shiver. ‘Thought it might be easier for you that way.’
‘You did it on purpose?’ Steve hissed, scowling. Bucky rubbed the back of his
own neck, looking sheepish.
‘Not- sort of. It was sort of in the moment, and you seemed to be enjoying it.
I didn’t want to stop. Besides.’ His eyes crinkled with laughter. ‘It shows
you’re mine.’
Steve’s heart stopped. It came back double-time and he knew he must have looked
shocked, because Bucky grinned wider.
‘I was joking, you punk.’
‘Thanks for warning me,’ Steve said flatly, pulling his collar up a bit
further. A small part of him wanted to say something about wishing he wasn’t
joking, but he squashed it. That would be stupid. He wasn't brave enough for
that, yet.
'We'd better go,' Bucky said reluctantly. Steve offered up a weak smile, and
Bucky leaned in to kiss his forehead before pulling back and looking seriously
at him. 'You can forget this if you want.'
'Not a chance.' Just because Steve Rogers wasn't Dauntless didn't mean he
couldn't be brave sometimes. Bucky grinned at him and Steve's chest felt like
it was going to burst.
They left the storeroom at the same time, and Steve wanted more than anything
to reach across and take Bucky’s hand, but he was Abnegation, and Bucky was
Dauntless. And he didn’t even know if that was what this was going to be. Steve
sighed as he went to find the Abnegation wagon, unable to resist giving Bucky
one last, lingering glance, as the taller boy jogged towards the other
Dauntless initiates. Next time, Steve was determined to give as good as he got.
He was going to make sure Bucky didn’t forget him, even if it was just twice.
***** There's Something Here That I Just Can't Explain *****
Chapter Summary
     Brock's a douche, Clint's an ass and dude, that's totally not
     allowed, right.
Chapter Notes
     So yeah, that vacuum's here to stay. Ah well. I hope you guys enjoy
     it anyway. Bucky really likes Steve's hands.
The next time they were on the same food delivery, there were only four more
weeks left of initiation. Bucky grabbed Steve’s hand behind a pile of grain
bags and kissed it. Then they were separated again, Steve told to carry the
lighter loads towards the Dauntless kitchen, Bucky taken for the heavier grain
bags and frozen meat. Steve couldn’t stop the butterflies in his stomach. He
hoped he could get Bucky alone, even just for ten minutes.
That afternoon, they were both assigned to the same storeroom for sorting the
food, but there were two other Dauntless initiates with them. One of them,
Brock, tripped Steve near the door when he was carrying a box of eggs. He
managed to stumble out of a fall without breaking the eggs and put them away,
trying to remind himself that he was Abnegation now, he had to put up with it.
No one else was at risk, so he had no right to fight back.
‘Hey Stiff,’ Brock called when Steve and Bucky were unloading the same box,
arms brushing lightly every now and then and sending pleasant shivers of
arousal through Steve. ‘Do Stiffs have the rod shoved up their ass on the first
day or is it just natural talent?’
Just ignore him, Steve tried to remind himself. He’s just trying to get a rise
out of you.
‘Piss off Rumlow,’ Bucky said, still sounding friendly.
‘Aw, do you like the little Stiff?’ Brock taunted before glancing at Steve.
‘What are you, twelve?’
‘I’m a transfer, same as you,’ Steve replied as levelly as he could.
‘Then you’re a midget and a Stiff. Someone drew the short straw of the gene
pool here.’
‘Well I wasn’t going to point it out, but you do have a pretty unfortunate
face,’ Steve said without thinking. So much for selfless and self-sacrificing.
‘I mean, really, imagine your mum’s surprise when it turned out she’d given
birth to a gorilla.’
The blond guy beside Rumlow rocked back on his heels and laughed loudly,
slapping him on the back.
‘He’s got you down, Brock. Not just a quiet little Stiff after all.’
Steve was seriously expecting to get hit, but the blond’s amusement seemed to
have diffused the tension. Brock scowled at him but said nothing more.
‘How are rankings going?’ Steve asked, trying to be the better man.
‘Rumlow’s third, Clint here’s fifth or sixth or something-’
‘Fifth!’ Clint interrupted, looking wounded. ‘Definitely not sixth.’
‘And I’m tenth,’ Bucky finished. ‘How do you know about rankings?’
I used to think I’d join Dauntless, Steve thought. ‘I guess I just picked it up
somewhere,’ he said quietly. They didn’t speak after that.
When they went behind a row of shelves to stack some boxes of dried fruit,
Bucky ran his hand down Steve’s arm, fingers trailing sparks of arousal, and
pressed himself against his back, his erection a hard line against Steve’s hip.
Steve was instantly achingly hard, and pushed back against Bucky, wishing they
were alone. Bucky slowly pressed a trail of wet, warm kisses to Steve’s neck
and Steve shuddered, fighting to keep from moaning.
‘God, you’re beautiful,’ Bucky whispered, hot against Steve’s skin.
‘Hey Buck, we’re done here,’ Clint called. ‘Brock and I are gonna head back
out. Catch us up when you’re done.’
Bucky pulled away from Steve, not quite quickly enough. Clint strode around the
shelves and caught sight of Bucky stepping away, eyes dark with lust, and Steve
with eyes half-lidded and mouth softly open. He let out a snigger.
‘Dude, that’s totally not allowed, right.’ Before Bucky could reply, he
grinned. ‘So this is the guy giving you love-wounds.’ He sniggered. ‘Never
woulda thought it of a Stiff. Anyway, we’re still leaving, have fun.’
He turned and walked out, slinging an arm around Brock and dragging him out
almost by the neck. Thank God Rumlow hadn’t been the one to see them.
They were left in the storeroom in silence.
Steve tried to swallow his embarrassment and turned to face Bucky. He was
determined to see this through. Butterflies erupted in his stomach again but he
stood as straight as he could and, this time, looked Bucky in the eyes.
‘Miss me?’ He asked, and Bucky’s lips twisted in an attempt to hold back a
smile.
‘Punk.’
‘Jerk.’ Steve stepped forwards. It was now or never. He pushed Bucky back
against the shelves, watching Bucky’s pupils dilate as Steve leaned in. He
trailed kisses and nips along Bucky’s neck, past the fading mark he’d left the
last time. He wanted to darken it again, make sure everyone knew Bucky was his,
but resisted the impulse. It wasn’t sensible, and Bucky might not even want to
be marked.
He nipped at Bucky’s collarbone and soothed it with his tongue. Bucky’s hands
clenched around his shoulders and he hissed a sigh. Steve glanced at the clock
above the door and dropped to his knees in front of Bucky. He’d been looking
forward to this for days.
‘What are- shit, Steve,’ Bucky gasped as Steve unbuttoned his trousers, yanked
them down and wrapped a hand around Bucky’s cock. He wasn’t surprised to find
it was bigger than his, what with their respective heights and all, and he
couldn’t help the shiver that ran through him at the thought of sucking it into
his mouth.
He had never done this before, but he’d gone to the Erudite library on his one
afternoon off and had sat reading erotic fiction for three solid hours trying
to get ideas. He really wanted Bucky to enjoy this.
He pumped his hand a few times and glanced up at Bucky. His eyes were half-
lidded, pupils blown huge with arousal, and it was beautiful. He leaned
forwards and licked just the tip of Bucky’s cock, sending a shudder through the
brunet. He lapped at the head a few times and was rewarded with a breathy
whimper. Maybe Bucky had never done this before either.
Then he took a silent breath and lunged forwards, taking in as much of Bucky as
he could and sucking, hard, pulling back off and plunging forward again, using
his hand to pump the base he couldn’t reach.
Bucky made a sound halfway between a moan and a sob, and tangled his fingers in
Steve’s hair. Steve continued to suck and slide up and down, hollowing his
cheeks and trying to keep his teeth out of the way.
Bucky tasted like warm skin and sunshine, and Steve swore he’d never tasted
anything so good. He swirled his tongue around the head and along the
underside, and Bucky gasped out something incoherent before snapping his hips
forwards and coming, long and hot, down Steve’s throat. His cum spurted out in
bursts, filling Steve’s mouth and he kept going, kept sucking, swallowing,
until Bucky’s trembling hands stopped him, cupping his face and gently trying
to pull him up. Steve swirled his tongue once more around the head, chasing any
last drops, and let Bucky’s softening cock slowly slide out of his mouth.
He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood. Bucky’s arms wrapped
tightly around him and he burrowed his face into the crook of Steve’s neck, his
breathing a soft panting, his body shaking.
‘Sorry, I. I tried to warn you-’
‘It’s ok,’ Steve murmured, running a hand through Bucky’s soft hair. ‘I liked
it.’ And he had. His cock pulsed between his legs, heavy with arousal, but he
ignored it. This time had been about Bucky, not about him.
‘God, Steve. That was amazing.’ Bucky’s voice was almost weak, shaking like the
rest of him, and Steve couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face.
‘You’re amazing.’ Bucky’s voice was quiet, almost confessional. Steve’s heart
thumped in his chest and he hugged Bucky tight, burying his face in his
collarbone, nuzzling the skin he could reach. ‘Do you want me to…?’ Bucky’s
hand slipped down to cup Steve through his trousers, but he shook his head,
pressing closer. Every bone in his body wanted Bucky to keep going, but he
couldn’t ask for that. This had been about Bucky, not him.
‘It’s ok to be selfish sometimes,’ Bucky murmured. ‘Um, if you want. I mean…’
Steve smiled and sighed, closing his eyes.
‘Next time,’ he said. It felt good to be selfless this time.
They stood like that for a long time, as long as they dared.
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