Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/13423914. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Major_Character_Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: F/M, M/M Fandom: Super_Mario_&_Related_Fandoms, Super_Mario_Bros._(Video_Games) Relationship: Mario_/_Luigi Character: Mario_(Nintendo), Luigi_(Nintendo), Peach-hime_|_Peach_Toadstool Additional Tags: Literature, fan_fiction, Humor Stats: Published: 2018-01-13 Words: 1608 ****** Pushing Buttons - The Hardest Button to Button ****** by Darfur_Maxx Summary This is the story of Mario's guilt, and Luigi's shame. DISCLAIMER: This story is very, very, and I do mean very vaguely inspired by these series of fanfics that were created by Fan Fiction Dot Net's very own datguy202. He/she/it was a spam author that submitted six whole Mario fanfics, collectively known as Pushing Buttons. Every single one of those stories involved incest, bad button puns, and last but not least, burning seminal DEATH. I promise to deliver nothing less. This is dedicated to all that I hate and love. =============================================================================== One fine, wondrous, excellent, perfect, possibly physically and mentally retarded day, Mario woke up. He was thirty-five years old, and his brotherly penis pocket- uh, I meant Luigi, has fucking died. Mario was very sad, and yet very horny for his now deceased—and therefore even more socially taboo—hot, tight contours of his brother's ass; it made his nasty Italian dick erect in a sexually unattractive manner. It was kind of like throwing scoops of mayonnaise at pictures of dead celebrities posing with cats, if that makes any sense. Mario Cum was already threatening to burst through his pee hole. Mario Cum is a very volatile substance that is Mario's unfortunate substitute for semen. It does not hold any actual sperm cells inside, which makes it perfect for mainstream bukkake vaginal porn starring Proxy Paige as a parodic stand-in for Elliot Rodger . . . If Elliot Rodger really fucking hated Proxy Paige and wanted her to dissolve in putrid, incestuous, sulfuric hell-jizz. For you see, Mario Cum has the unfortunate habit of chewing away at the mortal flesh of human beings and other creatures that aren't as horrifically GAY as Mario "Super Mario" Mario, Knight-Sheriff of the Mushroom Kingdom controlled Franco-Iberian border. Luigi just so happened to be gay enough to survive the Cum of the Mario. At first. Mario Cum is a tricky thing, it is like Ebola-fueled cancer. It permeates the pores of the living beings it happens to come into contact with. It, like scabies, leaves the victim vulnerable for the rest of their lives to the nasty, beyond putrid, rotten shit-smelling substance that not even Drew Pickles would swallow. Luigi bathed in it every night ever since he was little, back when Mario was a biological female that raped little boys in their penises with her ice cold vagina. She would often run off afterwards to see dear old Uncle Travis, the man that always watched her sit to pee and bathe after she got done "uniting" with poor, dumb, non-consenting, authentic shota fuck-bait, child whore Luigi. She would fuck Luigi every day while pretending to be a ghost, with a white sheet covering her head and upper body. She never took no for an answer, and Luigi simply never could make it stop. He was too young and her love was too strong. Sometimes, after she drains both his body and soul, she leaves her sweet baby brother cold and alone on the melted, moldy mattress of Heaven, staring blankly at the ceiling, covered in his own sister's Mario Cum. Shit, she's supposed to be a he now. Get with the program, dude. You can't fuck Luigi's ass with your titties, that only happens in hentai! Hey, speaking of hentai, what also starts with an H and gives girls- I mean BOYS an excuse to be a horrible, dirty little slut once a year? No, not hormones, that's too generic and scientific. It's a little more traditional than that. Wait, that's right, Mario looked at the calendar, she- I MEAN HE, saw that today was Halloween! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeverybody in the Mushroom Kingdom knows what that means. Mario and Luigi have introduced this holiday in a very special way. With asses to each other's asses, and butts to naked Italian butts, the brothers have forever codified the iconic two-way twerk-a-thon that the Mushroom Kingdom is now known for. When they did this sacred, brotherly dance for the first time, that was not a practice session, it was at the Mushroom Castle. Their audience consisted of royals, officials, and invited guests from all over the world, including Daisy, the ruler of Sarasaland, the prime ministers of Israel and Britain, and the ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom herself: Princess Peach Toadstool. "There's just one more thing we need before we start the dance," Mario said in an inquisitive manner, striking a sassy pose. "I wish I knew what's missing." A drunken asshole from some South American hellhole or the Mushroom World equivalent of it that was not worth mentioning heard him say this, and then looked down at his big ass sausage dog clutched in both of his hands. This sausage dog was special, as it was not his penis, and it was made out of real dog. Not yoshi, like sausage dogs in the Mushroom World were normally made of. He staggers towards Mario, sausage in hand, and says in broken, vodka-impaired English: "Stick 'un yer hole, bitch! Fuck hole, ass bitch fuck-fuck fucking the hole! Fucking you mother pussy fucking bitch, stick 'un asshole!" "Waahoo!" Luigi had always loved his anal destruction. It helped him to disassociate with being a child bride to an incestuous, busty ghost in the past. Even though nothing actually changed. Luigi will wait at Mario's beck and call and have sex with his sibling until the day he dies. "Eureka! Now we can begin!" A toad said in ecstatic glee. Not Toad, nor any other distinguished, important member of society that just so happened to be biologically a sentient humanoid fungus, known as a toad. It wasn't even the amphibian type of toad. It was just a toad. And she had a dog's dick humping upside her asshole. Mario and Luigi didn't care, however. They were finally ready to begin the sacred dance for the glory of the Mushroom Kingdom! Nobody was gonna fucking stop them now! The brothers started to strip off their ugly sewer rat overalls and shirts they always wore, neither having ever believed in wearing underwear. Mario stopped Luigi as he undressed, however. "No," he murmured into his sweet baby brother's ear, huskily. "Let me push your buttons!" Mario boisterously announced, in the greasiest Brooklyn-Italian accent imaginable. He wagged his eyebrows in unrestrained anticipation. Then, Mario unsuited in one fell swoop, practically jumping out of his clothes, and turned his naked hairy ass towards Luigi. He harnessed the might of his glutes, as well as the Nintendo Power™ to unhinge his anus, and push Luigi's buttons. Just like old times, baby. Mario's supple anus latched onto his brother's overalls after unbuttoning them and pulled them right off, with a super squat. Then he turned around and took off Luigi's shirt with his hands, because he's fat and lazy. "OH GOD!" The drunk moaned as he stumbled over and slapped Mario's ass and thighs with his sausage dog, obviously far too intoxicated to care about whether what he's doing is gay or not. He kept shouting, "ITZ_HEAVEN! ITZ HEAVEN!" over and over, until he toppled over like a six foot tall midget. Luigi took the sausage dog from the semi-conscious Hispanic, who was now pissing himself. Now they were ready. "This is gon' be good," Princess Peach said, stuffing garlic and cinnamon coated popcorn in her mouth with one hand while massaging her pet David Duke's boobs with the other. "This gon' work for da both o' us, baby-girl." The legendary white nationalist could only whimper, as he was gagged, bound, and had active egg vibrators taped over his nipples and other erogenous zones, as well as a vibrating pink dragon butt plug that was inserted earlier this morning by his new mommy. This gon' work for da both o' us. =============================================================================== With asses to naked asses, with butts to baked butts. Baring their glutes flexing, anus chutes flare perplexing, Mario and Luigi have united once more! With anal precision; Unfazed by incestuous division; Unashamed by their twerking decision; Untamed by society's provision. With asses to asses, with butts to butts; Mario and Luigi have united once more! "Onwards," the audience cheered! They hold no ill towards their heroic, accepted incest queers! One still curses, for he ran out of beer! He sods off into the punch bowl, - like all alcohol charmed steers! Boners are rising, and brothers are - so surprising! "Onwards," the perverts scream! They hold undivided arousal towards their living, incestuous dream! One still curses, for the dog came early and is now empty of stream! She scissors into the anus of that dog, - like all frustrated women cream! Butt lo, and behold! Here comes the supple, sur-prise sau-sage! Such as it is; . . . . . . . Here comes the sausage sliding in! So shall it be; . . . . . . . To be lubricated by Daisy's piss! Here she comes now; . . . . . . . Coming to pee on brothers, u-ni-ted holes! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Spring; the velvet lukewarm sound of Daisy's pee. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Summer; the iconic nickname for the rump of the womanly desert monarch. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Autumn; the season has forever blossomed with the sacred Halloween twerk-a-thon. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Winter; the inevitable conclusion of all imbalanced relationships and dearth of dreams and life. . . . . . . . . . . . . these . . . . . . . . Mario and his brother; people . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . We know both have the other as lover; have . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Luigi and his other; no . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Locked in the prison of infamous cover; grace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . They slide ever closer; or glory . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Friction building with inches of sausage they holster; i hope . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Twerking 'til the orgasms commence; they all . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Prostates stimulate ejaculations immense; know that . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Her urine still burning; they deserve this . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Just as the audience still yearning; MARIO_CUM_IS_EJECTED! - and Winter . . . . . . . . - will come. MARIO_CUM_IS_EMITTED! - and here is our blissful . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . - reward. MARIO_CUM_IS_EJACULATED! - and now . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . we shall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . all . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . be . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . - judged. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!