Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8619151.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      ジョジョの奇妙な冒険_|_JoJo_no_Kimyou_na_Bouken_|_JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure
  Relationship:
      Dio_Brando/Kakyoin_Noriaki
  Character:
      Dio_Brando, Kakyoin_Noriaki
  Additional Tags:
      Genital_Torture, Blood_and_Torture, Omorashi, Blood_Drinking, Hand_Jobs,
      Mind_Control, Urethral_Play, Anal_Fingering, Dirty_Talk
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-11-21 Words: 6095
****** Pretty when you Cry ******
by carriejack03
Summary
     Dio wants to break his new pet.
Notes
     I hope you have read the tags before continuing
See the end of the work for more notes
Kakyoin opened his eyes and he felt his head throb in pain like a needle was
stuck in it, his thoughts were still a little blurry and he couldn’t focus on
anything, it didn’t matter how much he tried to.
What had happened? Where was he?
He had gone with his parents in Egypt for a “family” trip, even if he knew his
parents didn't really care if he was there or not, they just wanted to visit
that beautiful country.
Kakyoin had lost himself in the fantastic scenarios, the amazing culture and
the high temperature that made him sweat even if he sat in a bucket of ice, not
caring where he was going to. He hadn’t realized he had lost his parents until
he turned around and saw only merchants and people who lived there chatting
energetically with themselves.
Kakyoin remained calm and started to walk around the busy streets of Cairo,
using Hierophant Green to help him but it seemed like his parents had vanished,
he couldn’t find even a trace of them.
Before he knew it, the sun had already set and the stars covered the sky, a
chilling wind made Kakyoin’s teeth chatter. The night was cold, he only had his
green uniform on himself and ten dollars in his wallet, without even know where
he was or how to return to the hotel. Even the streets were now empty, not a
soul could be seen and a strange silence made the blood in his veins freeze.
It was then that, for some reason, he took a turn in a dark alley, where even
the fake light couldn't reach. He didn't know what it was, but he felt drawn
there, it was a pull he couldn't fight and it was like his legs had started
walking for themselves.
It was then Kakyoin saw  him .
At first glance he couldn't understand if he was a man or a woman, but he
quickly found out he didn't care, his eyes couldn't even blink for how much his
stare was glued to him. He was beautiful,he had flawless and fair skin that
seemed to shine, blond hair tenderly moved by the wind and a body to die for,
perfectly muscular and with no fat.
A serene smile was painted on his face and it almost looked genuine if it
wasn’t for those cold, unblinking red eyes, which seemed to expose everything
about Kakyoin. He felt naked under that prying gaze, fear crawled up his back
and he had the urge to run and hide as soon as he could.
However, everything he had in mind vanished when that man opened his mouth to
speak with the most intoxicating voice Kakyoin had ever heard.
“ Let’s be friends… ”
Kakyoin shivered uncomfortably when he finally started to remember. Yes… that
man,  Dio , knew about Hierophant and he had asked him questions, but… then?
Something… something else had happened… something terrible and painful… what
was it…? His head hurt so much…
Kakyoin’s hand tiredly crawled on his face, his limbs felt so heavy and he
desperately wanted to go to sleep again on the soft mattress he was sitting on,
but that atrocious headache was distracting him.
Just when he was about to touch his forehead slender, long fingers wrapped
themselves around his wrist, preventing him to reach the spot that hurt the
most.
Kakyoin’s eyes shot open, his gaze quickly shifting beside him like he had been
electrocuted.
It was Dio in all of his glory, who was smiling down at him entertained by
Kakyoin’s distress. His naked chest seemed to shine under the flickering light
of the candles, and Kakyoin flinched uncomfortable under his cold gaze.
“It seems like you finally woke up, you really made me wait, Kakyoin…” Dio’s
voice was sweet, it was like listening to an angel and taking a shot of a drug
he could never quit.
“I’m sorry.” Kakyoin’s excuse left his mouth instinctively, he didn’t know why
but he  had  to apologize for being passed out for so long.
“It’s alright, pet, I’m a good master after all.” The blinding smile Dio had
painted on his face nearly made Kakyoin lose the man’s words, too much absorbed
in listening at that sweet voice.
Kakyoin felt a hand caressing his chest and his abdomen softly and he was
embarrassed at first, but his shame quickly disappeared once he saw the pleased
gaze in Dio’s eyes, who was looking at his body and seemed satisfied of what he
was seeing.
“You have a really nice body for a boy…” Kakyoin’s cheeks reddened in
embarrassment when he heard those words, but he couldn’t fight the hand pressed
again his body, it was too nice having it there, he was drinking the other’s
affection like a thirsty man in the desert.
Something in his mind told him to surrender, to let himself go, but another
part of him, a relative small one, yelled at him to fight, that what was
happening was wrong.
He snapped out his thoughts when he felt that beautiful yet cold hand slowly
crawling in his red hair. Kakyoin flinched when long nails scraped his scalp,
his eyes shifting towards Dio’s gaze in question. He shivered when he saw the
malicious intent in those red eyes, which were looking at him like they wanted
to devour him.
“I wonder…” Dio’s fingers stopped their movements and sensually traced the line
on Kakyoin’s throat, where a blue, lovely vein could be seen. Kakyoin bit back
a whimper when he felt those sharp nails strongly pressing against it and
nearly broke the skin.
“What do you taste like? Sweet? Bitter? Or a mixture of both?” Dio licked his
lips like he was tasting something delicious, his gaze fixed on the redhead’s
neck. “What do you think, pet?”
Kakyoin’s throat was dry, the pain on his forehead was horrible and he wasn't
really understanding what Dio was asking him, so he just stayed silent and kept
looking at the man in front of him, his guts twisting in worry.
Dio didn't seem to like his silence, his eyebrows narrowed and Kakyoin
whimpered when he the hand around his wrist tightening its grip, those dark
nails biting his skin harshly and nearly drawing blood.
“I asked you a question, pet, I would like an answer.” Dio’s voice was sweet
and Kakyoin felt something in his forehead vibrating, like a distant call, and
his lips moved on their own without Kakyoin’s consent.
“I’m sorry, Lord Dio, please forgive me.” Why had he said those things? No,
that wasn't what he wanted, but the rational voice in his head seemed to be far
away and Kakyoin had no one to listen but the one who was telling him to answer
the man’s questions.
“Well, it is a part my fault, isn't it? I should train my pets better, don't
I?” Dio smiled pleased at Kakyoin’s words, but the grip on the boy’s wrist
didn't seem to want to loose itself any time soon and Kakyoin was fearing that
it would break his bones.
“I don't know… What I taste like, Lord Dio…” Kakyoin’s shifted his gaze
downwards, he couldn't bear to look in Dio’s eyes any more. There were so many
things he couldn't understand, first of all why he was calling the man in front
of him “lord” or why he wasn't bothered to be referred as “pet”, but the more
he thought about it, the more his head pulsed and hurt, like something was
refraining him to question himself or Dio.
“Is that so?” Dio didn't seem like he was really listening to him, he was more
focused on Kakyoin’s neck, where his fingers were pressing and the redhead’s
heart beat faster in his chest, fear and adrenaline running in his veins.
“You don’t have to fear anything, my pet…” Dio’s saccharine voice made Kakyoin
relax and he barely registered the man moving closer to him, his face
dangerously closer to the redhead’s neck. “It won’t hurt…  Much …”
Kakyoin screamed when Dio’s teeth broke his skin. It hurt, it hurt so much, the
pain was atrocious and he could hardly breath.
Kakyoin started to thrash around, tears clinging on his eyelashes, his hands
wrapped themselves around Dio’s strong biceps, trying to move the man but Dio
wasn't budging an inch, instead he rather seemed amused by Kakyoin’s desperate
actions.
Dio sucked harder, humming pleasantly when more blood hit his tongue and it
didn't seem like he wanted to stop any time soon.
“N-NO, STOP! PLEASE-” Kakyoin’s screams fell on deaf ears, fat tears running
down his cheeks. His vision began to get blurry and Kakyoin couldn't understand
if it was for the tears or for the blood loss, either way his head was feeling
light and his limbs started to loose strength, his hands falling on the soft
mattress under him.
“Stop… Stop…” Kakyoin’s whimpers echoed tiredly in the room, he felt his own
blood sliding down his neck down his collarbones, dirtying his uniform in red.
He had no strength anymore, his body went limp in Dio’s arms, which had circled
his waist to avoid him to fall back while the man slowly drained him, humming
pleasantly and seeming incurrent of the mess he was making.
Kakyoin’s tears stopped falling, he didn't even have the strength to cry
anymore, the pain was just a numb sensation that his brain wasn't registering.
He just flinched when Dio’s teeth left his neck, but did nothing more. The
burning sensation on his open wound made him panting harder. It hurt, but at
the same time it felt sort of good and he flushed in shame, not believing what
the warm in his abdomen was telling him.
Kakyoin was surprised how careful Dio was at pushing his body backwards, his
back hit the soft mattress and his mind began to work again, slowly realizing
what had just happened.
He lifted his head and shivered when he saw Dio’s mouth covered in blood, his
smile nearly splitting his face in half, his canines shining in the weak light.
He looked really pleased and his warm tongue hungry licked some drops on his
lips.
One of his hands caressed the redhead’s clothed chest and he didn't seem
disturbed in seeing Kakyoin’s blood falling on the white sheets.
“Delicious…” Dio whispered, taking hold on one of Kakyoin’s wrists and kissing
it tenderly with his bloody mouth. “So sweet… I really had to stop myself from
draining you… I’m so proud of you, my pet, you taste so sweet for your
master...”
Kakyoin’s heart hammered at the praise, he couldn't help but want to please
Dio, it was like something in the back of his mind was urging him to.
Dio’s fingers traced Kakyoin’s wounds and the boy flinched, a small whimper
escaping from his dry lips. Shame coloured his cheeks when he felt warm in his
stomach, he hoped that Dio hadn’t noticed but by the man’s interested gaze, he
had indeed noticed it.
Dio’s fingers started to unbutton his uniform, ripping off each button which
fell somewhere with a “ click ” on the floor. Kakyoin tried to move his arms to
stop the man at top of him but all his efforts were useless, Dio just needed to
push him down with one his massive hands.
“N-No… don’t…” Kakyoin was surprised he could still talk, even if it was just a
whimper.
Dio looked briefly at him unimpressed, having managed to rip off all of the
buttons and now Kakyoin’s torso was for the world’s to see.
The redhead was feeling self-conscious of his body and tried to cover his chest
with his heavy arms, but two hands that didn’t belong to Dio forced his limbs
down strongly and Kakyoin moaned in pain and in surprise.
“W-What…” He wasn’t seeing anyone else there, but he was sure that  something
was forcing his hands down and he couldn’t move them, no matter how much he
wished to.
It took some seconds for his tired brain to understand what was happening and
he looked at Dio with fear.
“S-Stand…” Kakyoin managed to murmur, a cold, horrible sensation started to run
down his back. He tried to move his hands once again, but the more he tried to
break free from that grip, the more his wrists were bruised by those inhuman
hands.
Dio chuckled at top of him, one of his nails traced Kakyoin’s collarbone and
trailed down between his pectorals to stop itself on Kakyoin’s stomach, tapping
the soft flesh up the redhead’s belly button, like he was still deciding what
he was going to do to Kakyoin. Nothing scared the boy more than Dio’s serene
smile in that moment.
“You’re a very naughty pet, Kakyoin… I should train you to stay still when your
master is tending you…” Dio whispered, his grin widened.
Before Kakyoin could even register the man’s words, his mouth was already open
in high-pitched scream when Dio’s nails scratched Kakyoin’s skin with violence,
red blood pooled out from the fresh wounds, travelling down his waist and
creating red drawings on the boy’s flesh.
Dio chuckled and licked one of his nails, tasting the sweet blood out of his
fingers again.
“You’re so lovely like this, pet.” Dio laughed, his warm tongue licked his lips
to taste every single drop of Kakyoin’s delicious blood.
“Mph?!” Kakyoin’s scream was muffled when the same fingers that had hurt him
entering in his mouth, making him choke on them. He wanted to run away, but the
more he struggled the more those fingers went down his throat. Kakyoin didn’t
have any other choice but to surrender and hoping for Dio’s mercy.
Dio smiled pleased at Kakyoin’s obedience and petted his red hair
affectionately, his bloody fingers dripping blood down the boy’s throat and
Kakyoin gagged in disgust, his own blood tasting like acid in his mouth.
“Doesn’t your blood taste delicious, pet? Here, have some.” Dio’s fingers moved
lightly inside Kakyoin’s mouth and the redhead realized in horror what Dio
wanted him to do. He felt tears forming in his eyes, but at the same time a
voice in his mind was telling him that everything was alright and that it was
better if he just surrendered himself to Dio.
Kakyoin started to hesitantly move his tongue around a finger, flinching when
the nail nearly wounded his muscle, but Dio’s hard gaze was fixated on him and
Kakyoin knew that he had to continue.
Swallowing his pride, he started to suck those elegant fingers as fast as he
could, feeling his own disgusting blood running down his throat and he tried to
not gag.
Dio hummed pleased and his free hand started to roam on Kakyoin’s body, tracing
every bone he encountered, making the boy under him flinch uncomfortable. A
muffled scream echoed in the room when Dio’s nails pressed against Kakyoin’s
stomach wounds, but Dio just shushed at him like he would do to a child.
“Shhhh, pet… you’re too loud…” Dio’s grin widened when a tear escaped from
Kakyoin’s eye again. He was having fun in torturing him, Kakyoin knew that, but
he couldn’t do anything to stop him. A part of him thought that that situation
was normal, after all Kakyoin deserved whatever thing Dio did to him, fighting
only meant disobedience and why would he go against his master?
Kakyoin’s head throbbed in pain again and he briefly wondered why he had
thought those things, but he quickly resumed sucking Dio’s fingers, his tongue
circled each digit to clean them well. By now, he had grown used to the taste
of his own blood and he didn’t have the urge to vomit anymore. At least that
was a victory for him.
“You’re learning, pet, that’s good…” Dio’s saccharine voice seemed to enter in
his mind once again, Kakyoin felt proud of himself despite his mind screaming
at him to not lose himself in Dio’s sweet words.
However, Kakyoin screamed when Dio’s hand grasped his clothed crotch tightly,
pain and pleasure shooting in his body, his back arched unconsciously. He
wanted to get up but the fingers in his mouth and the Stand’s hands were
stopping him to sit up.
Shame washed on him when he heard Dio chuckling, but his limbs were so heavy
and black points were starting to appear in his vision. He was tired and wanted
to go back sleeping to escape from that nightmare, but he couldn't do it, no
matter how much he wished.
“I have such a slutty pet, did you enjoy your own blood so much?” Kakyoin
coughed profusely when Dio’s fingers left his mouth, spitting all the remaining
blood that he hadn’t been able to swallow. His throat burnt like he had just
drunk acid and a few tears ran down his cheeks, that disgusting metallic taste
was still present in his mouth.
“Oh, poor you… Was it too much for you?” Dio laughed more when Kakyoin managed
to glare at him, all the hate he was feeling was directed to him.
Dio slowly zipped down Kakyoin’s pants, tracing the line of the boy’s cock on
the black boxers. Kakyoin tried to squirm away, but all his efforts were
useless once Dio’s nails digged themselves in Kakyoin’s soft waist, creating
more wounds on the poor boy’s flesh.
“No… Stop…” Dio ignored Kakyoin’s pleas, using his inhuman force to tear the
green pants and leaving Kakyoin with only his boxers and the open top of his
uniform.
Blood went down his neck and waist, the sheets covered in red, Kakyoin was
panting heavily, his face had a white pallor that recalled death and his eyes
were unfocused, he could only see blurry colours and black points. It was a
miracle that he hadn’t passed out yet, and he couldn't look sexier in Dio’s
eyes, he was perfect in his desperation into knowing that he was on the verge
of death.
“You look really pretty like this, pet… Blood suits you.” Dio praised, two of
his fingers took hold of the hem of Kakyoin’s boxers, taking them down slowly,
teasing the boy under him who was, unwilling, desperate of release.
Kakyoin moaned when he felt the soft fabric brushed against his half-hard cock,
shivering once his boxers had been completely taken down, his dick now free
from his restrictions.
Dio grasped Kakyoin’s cock and chuckled when the boy moaned, his voice was
raspy and a tear of shame escaped from his eye, but Dio was quickly to catch it
with the tip of his tongue, grinning when Kakyoin didn't move away and he felt
the boy’s cock twitching in interest in his hand.
“Such a desperate whore, you’re begging for my touch, aren’t you?” Dio flicked
the tip of Kakyoin’s dick, laughing when he felt it harden. “Look at you….
You’re dirty… So desperate… Aren't you ashamed of yourself?”
Kakyoin shook his head firmly, clenching his teeth and feeling more tears wet
his cheeks. “No… I’m not dirty… Please!”
“You aren’t? Then why do you like this so much?” Dio licked Kakyoin’s chin when
he noticed blood running down from his lower lip, where the boy’s teeth had
bitten down to muffle his screams.
“It’s useless, pet, I know what you like, I know how dirty you are, how much of
a whore you truly are.” Dio’s nail circled Kakyoin’s sensitive tip, enjoying
how the boy’s eyes widened and how he tried to break free from The World’s
grasp.
“NO- PLEASE, PLEASE, STOP!” Kakyoin screamed, feeling an immeasurable pain when
Dio’s nail scratched his length, nearly breaking the heated skin.
“Why are you screaming, pet?” Dio laughed maliciously, the tip of his nail
trailed up until it reached the little hole on Kakyoin’s dick. “I still haven't
done anything…”
The saccharine tone Dio used made Kakyoin agit more, his arms trembling in The
World’s grip, his eyes were begging the man at top of him to stop, to let him
go, but the tip of Dio’s nail was ghosting over his urethra, and Kakyoin felt
desperation taking hold of his heart.
He tried to close his legs, but Dio’s nails digged themselves in his tigh soft
flesh, forcing Kakyoin to have his legs painful open. The redhead felt the
juncture between his thigh and crotch stretching too much, a small agonizing
whimper left Kakyoin.
“DON’T- AH!” Kakyoin’s mouth hung open in a silent scream, he blacked out for a
moment when Dio’s finger started going down his urethra. Kakyoin could feel
Dio’s nail scraping its inside, looking down he saw how a few drops of blood
were escaping from the tip of his dick, travelling down his length and his
balls, a horrible pain shooting inside of him until it reached his core.
Kakyoin digged his nails in his palms, his toes curled on the mattress and he
threw his head back, a long agonizing scream left his mouth. The pain was
atrocious and the more he moved, the more it got worse, but Kakyoin couldn’t
stop trying to escape, it was like being burned alive.
“Stop… please… I can’t…” Kakyoin seemed so small in that moment, his wounded
body was screaming in pain and the tears continued to fall, Kakyoin didn’t even
have the strength to stop them. His pride be damned, but he couldn’t go on
anymore.
Sadly for him, Dio was having too much fun to listen to the poor boy’s begging.
Dio’s finger inched down a bit more, now half of that digit was inside
Kakyoin’s urethra, but the man didn’t seem like he wanted to stop any time
soon, instead he licked his lips and leaned his head closer to the redhead’s
cock, licking a trail of blood and smirked when Kakyoin moaned unconsciously.
“Why should I stop? You’re enjoying this so much, look at you… you’re
practically begging me to continue… what a slutty pet, getting turned on by
pain.” Kakyoin whimpered and Dio laughed, pushing his finger down more, not
caring that his nail was tearing the boy’s urethra. More blood trailed down
Kakyoin’s cock and Dio was more than glad to lick it away, his tongue lapped
hungrily that sweet liquid, he sucked for a few seconds when his mouth arrived
beside his finger, which was now all inside of Kakyoin’s urethra.
“N… No… I’m not… enjoying this…” Kakyoin forced those words out, but all he got
as a reply was an amused chuckle and he felt that sinful tongue leaving his
dick. Kakyoin briefly wondered what Dio was doing, when one of the man’s
fingers began to circle his entrance.
“What… what are you DOING?” Kakyoin screamed, his gaze quickly casted down and
saw how Dio’s free hand was teasing his twitching entrance.
“You have such a cute hole, my pet… tight and virgin for its master to take,
right, pet?” Dio’s nail scratched Kakyoin’s asshole, drawing little red lines
on the milky skin, but didn’t enter it just yet.
“DON’T!” Kakyoin’s leg kicked Dio tiredly, not making the man bulge for even an
inch and his limb fell on the bed without any strength left. However, his
disobedience had been enough for Dio to curl the finger inside Kakyoin’s
urethra, stretching the small hole more than it should have been possible.
“AGh… NooOoo…” Huge drops of blood escaped from the tip and trailed down until
the boy’s asshole, falling at the top of Dio’s finger, colouring the black nail
in a deep red.
Dio chuckled and leaned closer to Kakyoin’s face. The boy shivered when hot
breath hit his heated skin and turned his face on the other side, not wishing
to look in the man’s eyes and bit the inside of his cheek, even if he wanted to
scream all of his agony.
“You are so gentle, pet… providing the lubricant for yourself… you’re making
your master so proud…” Kakyoin’s eyes widened at the implication and he quickly
turned his head towards Dio, who was smiling down at him with his bloody
canines in sight.
“DON’T DO THI- AH!” Dio’s finger started to enter in his tight hole, using the
boy’s own blood as lube.
Kakyoin sobbed when a wave of pain hit him, it was like his body had caught
fire from the waist down. He was surprised that he still had tears in his eyes,
he had cried and begged so much, but it seemed like his suffering wasn’t going
to disappear. He was just a toy in Dio’s hands, and the man (or the beast?) was
going to have his fun with him.
Dio chuckled at Kakyoin’s vacant eyes and scraped his teeth against Kakyoin’s
neck wound, smirking amused when the boy whimpered at the contact.
“That’s right, Kakyoin, you’re my pet, and I can do what I want with you… it’s
useless running away…” Dio whispered against Kakyoin’s neck, puffing air
against the boy’s sensitive wound, which had stopped bleeding, but the skin was
coloured in an abused red and Kakyoin’s expression changed in one of agony when
Dio’s lips brushed against it.
Dio twisted his finger inside Kakyoin’s hole, his nail tore a bit of the
insides and the vampire felt warm blood hitting the skin of his digit. He just
needed to cast down his eyes to ascertain that indeed Kakyoin was bleeding from
both his asshole and his dick.
“Such a beautiful sight…” Dio murmured in Kakyoin’s ear, biting the lobe
harshly, letting out a little laugh when the boy’s arched his back, a painful
shiver running in his whole body.
Dio retracted one inch of the finger inside Kakyoin’s urethra and quickly
pushed it back inside, scratching more the abused insides. Kakyoin horrified
scream echoed in the room and Dio licked the shell of his ear pleased.
“I was worried you had lost your cute voice, pet… thankfully you still have
it...” Dio whispered, pulling back from Kakyoin’s ear. The boy followed Dio’s
head with his glossy eyes, seeing how the man just decided to sit between his
legs and continue to work on both of his holes. Kakyoin refrained to look down
at himself, knowing that he would probably throw up if he saw what was
happening to his most intimate parts and kept his gaze to Dio’s face, which was
now turned towards his dick.
“Your slutty holes are sucking my fingers so well… Look how much you want
them…” The finger in his asshole retreated himself, but when Kakyoin was taking
a breath of relief, he felt two digits trying to enter him, the tip of their
nails burnt like acid on his skin.
“No- They won’t fit- STOP!” Dio shushed at him like he was a child, swirling
the finger inside the boy’s dick to make Kakyoin scream, while the two other
ones slowly and agonizingly entered inside Kakyoin’s again. It was too tight,
they were squeezed inside and they could barely move, but thankfully the blood
inside of Kakyoin’s hole gave an easier access.
“What a dirty whore… sucking me in like a dog in heat…” Dio laughed starting to
move his fingers in and out the boy without a warning, each time deepening them
a bit more inside, drinking all the screams left the boy.
Kakyoin felt his insides tearing bit by bit, those long, dark nails had no
problem to scratch his sensitive flesh. The redhead knew that inside his hole
blood was everywhere, he felt it dripping out of him and down his cheeks,
giving him a disgusting sensation of wetness.
“Please… no more…” Kakyoin pleaded once again, having no strength to fight the
hand clasped around his wrists, sobbing when the finger in his urethra inched
back a few millimetres to be pushed inside once again.
“You’re my pet, aren’t you, Kakyoin? I can do as I please, you’re my toy and if
I want I can break you, isn’t that right, Kakyoin?” Kakyoin nodded despite a
part of his mind screaming at him to not surrender himself at that demon.
Kakyoin shut down that part, he would say anything to stop the pain.
“Yes… Lord Dio… I am your pet… you can do what you want to me… so please…
please…” Dio’s smirk widened and Kakyoin grunted when he twisted the fingers
inside his asshole.
“Good.” The man murmured, finally taking out the digits inside Kakyoin’s hole.
Dio brought his fingers in front of him, studying them for a moment before
getting a taste of Kakyoin’s blood and body liquids, humming satisfied once he
had cleaned off all of his digits.
“You really taste good everywhere, my pet, you were made to be my toy…” Dio
patted Kakyoin’s thigh affectionately, wrapping his hand around it and stroking
it to praise him for his good work.
Dio began to slowly pulling out his finger from Kakyoin’s urethra, brushing
against the abused insides and the boy bit back a sob.
Kakyoin dared to cast down his gaze and regretted it immediately when he saw
how the more Dio lifted his finger, the more blood oozed out from the tip.
Kakyoin gagged and turned his head to a side, knowing that if he continued to
look he would vomit all the acid in his stomach.
However, just when Dio was only a inch away from taking his finger out, Kakyoin
felt growing inside of him an  urge  he knew well and he tried to sit up, but
the Stand’s hands were still forcing him down so he was hopeless.
“W-Wait, L-Lord Dio, don’t take it out-” It was no use, Dio’s finger had
already left his urethra and Kakyoin began to thrash around to break free,
shutting his eyes for the shame that washed on him.
However, he couldn’t hold the flow that forced itself out his now flaccid dick,
yellow piss mixed with the remaining blood in the boy’s urethra went down his
balls and his rear, adding a yellowish stain on the sheets which were already
covered in his blood.
Kakyoin tried to force the flow to stop, but no matter how much he tried, he
continued to piss until his bladder was empty, yellow liquid wetting his
tights. A sob left Kakyoin’s mouth, then another and one more, tears prickled
down his cheeks and he felt embarrassed at himself for being such a disgusting
whore, who couldn’t even hold his own piss.
Kakyoin felt the Stand’s hands loosening their grip around his wrists and the
boy was able to move his arms again. He quickly covered his face using one arm
to shadow his eyes, while tears continued to fall unstoppable.
Kakyoin felt one hand slowly carefully caressing his hair, a sweet voice
humming pleasantly at top of him and the redhead felt his body relax under that
soft touch. Taking courage, he lifted his arm and looked at Dio, who was
watching him with a smile painted on his face and gentle eyes.
“It’s alright, my pet… you were wonderful...” The tone Dio used was
intoxicating and Kakyoin believed him, that voice was so sweet and the redhead
needed to hear those words… he would do anything that voice told him to do.
Dio’s fingers wrapped themselves around Kakyoin’s length, this time the touch
was gentle, so lovely that a moan left the boy’s lips.
Dio didn’t seem disgusted by Kakyoin’s piss, instead he used it as lube to move
his hand up and down Kakyoin’s cock, being careful to not scratch the sensitive
flesh with his long nails.
“Ah… Lord Dio… please…” Kakyoin’s moans echoed in the room, this time he was
encouraging the man at top of him to continue with his skillful touch.
His cock began to harden in Dio’s hand, Kakyoin felt warm pooling in his lower
abdomen, pleasant sensations ran inside his body, covering the painful
sensations of the wounds he had received before.
“Lord Dio…” Kakyoin’s eyes met Dio’s gentle ones and he moaned aloud when the
man’s hand quickened its pace, stroking the redhead’s dick firmly, yet with
delicacy, making sure to not hurt Kakyoin in any way.
“So cute, my pet… you’ve been really good for your master… this is your
reward…” Dio whispered in Kakyoin’s ear, kissing the boy’s neck and fastened
the movements of his hand.
“Ah… Lord Dio… I’m-” A throaty moan stopped whatever words Kakyoin had meant to
say, pre-cum began to ooze from the tip of his dick. The redhead flinched at
the uncomfortable sensation, the insides of his cock were still raw for the
previous treatment, but the pleasure was too much for him, he could resist at a
bit of pain.
Dio’s smiled at Kakyoin’s yearning for pleasure and took his lobe between his
teeth.
“Go on, my pet, cum as much as you want.” Kakyoin just needed to hear those
words to let himself go, white spots invaded his vision and he arched his back,
desperate to feel more of that gentle hand. There was also pain somewhere, but
the pleasure easily covered it, a wonderful sensation of release ran inside
Kakyoin’s body.
White cum splattered in Dio’s hand, covering it in white and mixing itself with
the redhead’s piss, but Dio didn’t seem to be disgusted, instead he looked
delighted and waited patiently to Kakyoin to finish enjoying his orgasm.
Once Kakyoin’s heart had stopped beating like it wanted to fall from his chest,
he looked up to Dio, who had unwrapped his hand from the boy’s dick and was
looking at it with interest.
“Lord Dio…” Kakyoin moaned his master’s name and sat up with some difficulties,
but Dio gave him all the time to settle in a comfortable position while
watching him with an amused gaze.
“I’m a kind master, aren’t I, pet? You just have to behave… it’s not difficult,
isn’t it?” Kakyoin shook his head in automatic, his eyes following every
movement of his master, who had extended his hand dirtied with Kakyoin’s semen
and piss towards the boy.
“A good pet should clean its master.” Kakyoin nodded, wrapping his hands around
Dio’s wrist and bringing it closer to his face.
Kakyoin began to lick Dio’s palm, tasting his own cum and piss and travelling
up until the end of the man’s middle finger, moaning at the exotic flavour of
Dio’s skin. The flesh was cold, like one of a corpse, but Kakyoin didn’t think
about that much, he was too captured by Dio’s taste mixed with his own.
Kakyoin swirled his tongue around each of Dio’s fingers, cleaning them as much
as he could, moaning every time that delicious flavour hit his tastebuds,
sucking every digit with a blissful expression. It was strange, the headache
had suddenly disappeared, and everything he could think about now was at how he
wished to serve Dio, no matter what he would request him to do.
“Good, you’re so good, my pet…” Kakyoin moaned at the praise, sucking harder on
the last finger he had to clean, trailing his tongue up and down, swallowing
all the liquids in his mouth.
A few seconds later, he reluctantly let go of Dio’s hand having cleaned it all,
drool connected his mouth to his master’s pinky finger. His eyes were clouded
by pleasure and he met Dio’s pleased gaze, waiting for the next command.
“That was perfect, pet, I’m so pleased…” Dio smiled and tucked Kakyoin’s red
hair behind his ear, making the boy blush embarrassed but he stayed in place,
his head nuzzled against Dio’s touch like an affectionate cat, yearning to be
petted more.
Dio chuckled amused and scratched Kakyoin’s scalp gently, running his fingers
in the boy’s hair.
“You would do anything for me, right, pet?” Dio asked, his eyes shining in a
dark light, but Kakyoin was too absorbed in his pleasure to notice, his
eyelashes had fluttered closed to enjoy his master’s touch better.
“Of course, Lord Dio, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” Kakyoin
whispered, he opened his eyes to look straight at Dio, adoration was written in
his gaze.
Dio grinned and took Kakyoin’s face between his hands, stroking the boy’s
cheeks with his long nails and he leaned closer to him, their nose nearly
touching.
“I want you to do something for me… you are from Japan, right? There’s someone
I want you to deal with… he’s really giving me some troubles with his annoying
presence... well, everyone in that family has done that…” Dio whispered,
tucking his head to a side to speak directly in Kakyoin’s ear.
“ I want you to kill Jotaro Kujo. ”
End Notes
     This is a commission for the lovely @DastardlyDaisy on twitter.
     Torture porn is one of my favs, I had so much fun writing this, thank
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their work!
 his own plate of food and ate, and he really was
hungry. And looking back at Dean and remembering the obvious sight of no
underwear woke up a new kind of hunger in him.
 
After the dinner Sam leaned closer to Dean and looked him in the eyes, lips
curling into a small smile. "What would you like for dessert?"
 
Dean grinned at Sam. "C'mere." He said, beckoning Sam closer until he could
reach out for him. He twisted in his chair, sitting sideways and tugged Sam
down to his knees. Dean wrapped his fingers around Sam's neck, pulling him
closer so that he could kiss him, and damn it felt good. Dean moaned as he
licked into him and Sam moaned back, the 'no kissing'-rule totally forgotten as
Dean kept ravaging his mouth. Dean kissed him hard, there was a battle of
tongues as Dean's hands went everywhere, feeling Sam all over and in seconds
Sam was panting into Dean's mouth.
 
Then, way too soon, Dean broke the kiss. "Since you're the one getting
fucked..." Dean started, leaning forward to press another kiss to Sam's lips.
"You get to choose, the bed? Or right here in the middle of the living room?"
Dean's voice dropped to a breath, his lips pressing kisses to Sam's mouth after
every word and Sam was ready to wipe the dishes from the table to the floor and
beg Dean to take him right there, on the table, hard and bestial.
 
"Here." Sam breathed against Dean's lips, got up and pulled Dean up with him,
leading him to the couch and pushing him down before getting on to his knees
between Dean's legs, looking up at him and smiling. Then he yanked Dean's
sweatpants all the way down to his ankles and off. Taking a moment to just look
at the engorged cock before him, he licked his lips and bent down, taking Dean
deep into his throat with one smooth move, swallowing around the hard shaft and
humming. But this was just foreplay, so Sam returned to lick and suck the head,
teasing the sensitive bundle of nerves under the head with his tongue. After a
while he let Dean's cock slip out of his mouth, jerking him light and slow with
his other hand while the other rested on Dean's muscular thigh.
 
"Since you're the one doing the fucking..." Sam smirked. "You get to choose. On
the couch, on the floor, on the table, from the front or from behind... So
choose."
 
Dean chuckled, amused by his own words being parroted back to him. He reached
into the side table next to the couch, grabbed a foil square and the small
tube, throwing them both on the floor before he grabbed Sam, twisting him
around and forcing him to bend over the coffee table. He forced Sam's head
against the cool glass, keeping him down. "Stay." Dean growled before he
reached around Sam's hips to unzip his fly, pushing his jeans down and off.
"Don't move, or I'll have to punish you." Dean promised, his voice low with
lust and Sam shivered with anticipation, enjoying his new dominated position
more than he would have thought possible... But there was something about Dean,
his voice, that made Sam obey eagerly. And it was his job, to fulfill each and
every desire of his clients, with few exceptions but this was not one of them
so Sam kept his head against the cool glass, waiting for Dean to put on a
condom and fuck him raw.
 
But Dean didn't do that, instead he pressed his palms against Sam's ass cheeks,
pushing them apart and Sam closed his eyes, breathing heavier. He could feel
Dean leaning forward, bringing his lips close to the small puckered hole, and
the sensation made Sam shiver some more.
 
"Are you clean?" Dean asked, a thumb rubbing the wrinkled flesh and Sam
couldn't help but moan. He wanted that finger inside of him. And he wanted so
much more inside of him, everything Dean was willing to give.
 
"Yeah, I'm clean..." Sam breathed, his ass moving involuntarily against Dean's
thumb, small motions, making very clear how turned on he was. "Why do you think
I don't do bareback? Not worth the risk... Oh fuck, do something, anything...
Fuck I want you..."
 
Suddenly Sam felt a kiss against his hole, and then something hot and wet and
firm. Dean's tongue. Oh God... Dean was licking him and Sam moaned as Dean's
hand reached down between Sam's legs to cup his balls and playing with them.
And then Dean's tongue was laving at Sam's sensitive hole for a good long
while, and Sam's breathing got faster and faster. No one had ever done this to
him before, but hell, he wasn't going to tell that to Dean. He was a
professional, he could act like one. Except that soon Sam found that impossible
as the tip of Dean's tongue pressed inside of him, again and again, making
sparks of pleasure grow in to full flames.
 
Then, without a warning the tongue pushed so deep inside him that Sam couldn't
keep quiet anymore, and he wondered if Dean even wanted him to. Sam groaned and
then cried out as the tongue pushed inside of him again, hard and deep. Dean
wiggled his tongue inside Sam, and Sam was sure he was going insane.
 
Dean forced Sam's legs apart wider while his other hand found Sam's leaking
cock and started pumping it. Dean licked a stripe from the back of Sam's balls
all the way up to his hole and then back down again, and Sam was panting and
trembling, letting out noises of pure pleasure; moans, groans, cries. Sam felt
Dean licking the same path again, but this time he stayed down, took Sam's
balls into his mouth and sucked, making Sam whimper. His cock was gripped,
twisted back and then he felt Dean's mouth on him, lips sealing around his
aching flesh, and even when the position wasn't the best for this, it still
made Sam see stars.
 
"Ready?" Dean asked, voice hoarse with desire and Sam could only breath the
word 'yeah', everything else would have taken too much effort. He heard how
Dean ripped open a condom foil, pressed another kiss to Sam's quivering hole
before he got to his knees behind him, leaning over his back and wrapping his
arms around his waist before sliding in in one quick move. Sam gasped loudly.
Dean didn't give Sam too long to adjust, just started pounding into him hard
and fast. He growled as he fucked so hard into him that Sam slid across the
coffee table. Sam's head was spinning. Dean slammed into him, harder and
harder, faster and faster until he was yelling out every spike of pleasure.
Dean bit the back of Sam's neck and Sam tilted his head, giving Dean a better
access. This was usually on Sam's 'no'-list too, biting and marking because it
was rude to meet a client looking like he had just been with someone else, but
considering that Dean had hired him for the whole month it didn't matter now.
And Sam liked biting, he liked being bit. Slick with sweat and precome, the
glass on the coffee table grew slippery and they slipped off it, tumbling to
the side and Sam tried to grab anything to keep himself in place and from
falling. Lost cause.
 
Dean slipped out of Sam as they landed on the soft plush rug, Sam on his side
and Dean on his back behind him. Not wasting anytime, Dean rolled to the side,
grabbed Sam's thigh and hitched it up before sliding back in, all the way in.
Sam was panting and moaning, Dean's cock so deep inside of him that he could
have sworn he could taste him in his throat, except that there was a condom
that made it impossible. Dean wrapped one hand around Sam's hips, grabbing his
cock and pumping as he fucked hard and fast, and Sam cried out, his muscles
trembling before his whole body went rigid and he came with a shout. Sam was
still half-unconscious from the force of his orgasm when Dean quickly pulled
out of Sam, tearing the condom off, shooting all over Sam's back and ass, and
Sam's hole felt wet, now painted white with Dean's come.
 
"Mine." Dean growled as he came, sinking his teeth into the muscle where Sam's
neck met his shoulder and Sam didn't know where the word came or why, but he
whispered "Yours." and collapsed, totally boneless and out of breath. His heart
was pounding in his chest and it took a while before his breathing calmed down
enough for him to speak again.
 
"Yours."
 
Dean heard Sam whisper back and Dean looked at him, shocked that his claim had
gotten a response. Slowly the shock faded away and Dean felt a smile bloom on
his face. He didn't know why he claimed Sam as his own other than the more
literal own-you-for-the-month thing he had going on, but he just...
 
Then again, Sam was pretty much the prettiest thing to ever grace his bed and
it's a shame he'd have to let him go at the end of it.
 
That's it. That's why Sam said he was his, because he actually was his for the
next 29 days.
 
"I think I found my new favorite dessert..." Sam smiled lazily. "You. Now, how
'bout a shower..." He thought for a while. "Well, as soon as I can walk again."
 
Dean laughed, obviously finding the whole thing funny and Sam couldn't help but
laugh too. Then Dean pressed a kiss to Sam's lips.
 
"You can walk just fine." Dean said, getting up on shaky feet and helping Sam
up to stand as well. He supported Sam through his phase of jello legs and led
him to the bathroom. There he switched the shower on, pushing Sam into the
standing shower before closing the clear glass doors behind them. Under the hot
steaming spray, he pressed his mouth back against Sam's, not demanding, just
kissing and Sam realized just how much he liked kissing Dean. So there they
were, just standing under the shower just kissing, and Sam couldn't have
imagined it would feel this good.
 
Sam let his hands wander around Dean's body, down his chest and even lower to
his abs, then reaching behind and sliding his hands up and down Dean's back,
tracing his spine with his fingertips. And all this without breaking the kiss.
Sam removed his other hand to search for shower gel and heard few bottles
dropping on the floor during the process because he wasn't looking, wasn't
ready to stop kissing just yet. Then his fingers curled around a shower gel
bottle and he popped the cap open, freed his hands for the brief moment it took
to pour some gel into his hands, and then his hands were on Dean again, this
time slick and slippery. He massaged Dean's muscles gently, and soon they were
both slick with shower gel, bodies sliding against one another. Sam didn't want
to break the kiss, but the floor was getting slippery as well, and he had to
pull away before they both would slip and fall.
 
"Mmm..." Sam hummed and looked at Dean with hooded eyes, his body sated and
comfortable. "Gotta rinse the floor before one of us breaks bones or
something..." Sam took the shower handle and bent down a little, washing the
extra soap off the shower booth floor.
 
Suddenly Dean gripped Sam's ass and slipped inside him again and reached around
for Sam's cock, jerking him to full hardness as he fucked into him. "Fuck,
can't stay away from you..." Dean hissed and Sam groaned, his ass was pretty
sore from earlier but that made the sensations even more intense, and when Dean
hit his prostate, all Sam could do was to grunt and moan and lean his hands
against the shower booth wall so that he could meet Dean's thrusts, Dean's cock
abusing his prostate the sweetest way with every deep and hard push inside him.
 
"Oh god you drive me crazy!" Dean grunted, rubbing his hands up and down Sam's
torso, pinching his nipples and rolling the little nubs between his fingers,
making Sam gasp. Their feet slipped on the slick floor but Dean grabbed onto
the shower handle with one hand and wrapped the second around Sam's waist and
concentrated to fucking them both to oblivion. And it was working, Sam couldn't
think, he couldn't speak, the only sounds he was able to make sounded more like
of an animal than human. An animal in heat... His whole body felt like it was
just one big sensitive nerve end, and San knew neither of them couldn't last
long, but it didn't matter, this fast, brutal fuck was better than most of the
things Sam had ever experienced.
 
It didn't take long before Dean was coming into Sam, and Sam felt hot wetness
filling his ass, realizing that something was different but unable to think it
much more because he was so close to the edge himself. Dean turned him around
and got to his knees taking Sam into his mouth and sucking him, and fuck the
guy had an amazing mouth, it was practically forcing the come right out of Sam.
Sam came with a muffled cry just as Dean pulled away, jerking him off through
his orgasm, milking him to the last drop until he was empty and spent.
 
After a while Sam's head cleared enough to realize why this fuck had felt so
different. They hadn't used a condom. This was the first time Sam had ever went
bareback with any of his clients, but thinking of it... He'd had Dean's tongue
up his ass before, and he hadn't even thought about it then. Sam leaned against
the booth wall, warm water still falling down on them. He closed his eyes.
 
"I'm clean." He said, a little out of breath. "And I assume you're too, right?
So I don't see a problem here, and to be honest... that felt so much better
than with rubber between us. And since I'm yours for the next month... I've
never made this offer to anyone before, but if you want, we can forget about
condoms. Now, how 'bout going to bed." Sam smiled a little, eyes still closed.
"I'm spent."
 
Dean smiled, nodding. "Yeah... yeah, sounds good." He quickly rinsed them both
off, switching the shower off and grabbing the towel from the towel rack. He
handed the towel to Sam, letting him towel up while leaving the bathroom
himself. Sam dried himself and walked to the bedroom, slipping under the covers
next to Dean. He really was tired so he fell asleep quickly, the last thought
in his mind before drifting to sleep being that this felt too good, to sleep
next to someone, and even if it was just for the month, Sam was happy.
 
He woke up around ten, noticing that Dean was gone and a little surprised that
he hadn't woke up to the alarm clock. Well, he had slept like a dead man, not
even seeing dreams, and he felt good and rested. Then he felt something weird
on his forehead, reached up and noticed it was a post-it note. 'I'll be home
around noon to take you out. Be ready. -D'. Sam read it and smirked. So, Dean
wanted to make him look presentable. Sure, why not.
 
Sam got up and made some coffee with his usual orange juice and bagels and sat
down to read the paper. It was open on the business section, and some thought
tried to reach the surface of his mind, but he couldn't quite put his finger on
it. Then it struck him. That name... Dean Winchester. Sam had heard it
before... and suddenly he felt a bit weird. He would have to meet one of his
friends. The friend who had told him about Dean Winchester, a long time ago,
but the memories of what the guy had told him didn't leave him alone. He would
have to talk to Will. Ask him a few questions.
 
The time went quickly and before Sam even noticed it was almost noon, so Sam
went back to the bedroom and got dressed, and just as he was coming out of the
bedroom he heard the elevator doors opening and Dean's voice.
 
"Hey Sam! Ready to go?"
 
Sam came out and smiled. "Sure. Let's go."
 
Dean frowned when he saw Sam coming out of the bed room. He saw that Sam was
wearing the same clothes he had been when he had seen him on the street side
for the first time three days ago.
 
"You're not going in that."
 
Sam groaned when Dean told him that he wasn't leaving the house wearing his own
clothes. Hey, they were comfortable! But he didn't protest when Dean dragged
him back into the bedroom and forced him to sit down while going through his
closet, finally taking out a grey sweatshirt and a pair of dark denim jeans.
 
"If you don't like the sweatshirt, I have a black t-shirt too from my college
days. We'll get you some casuals today too, remind me." Dean said, as he handed
everything to Sam. Sam looked at the clothes. The jeans were nice but he didn't
really like the sweatshirt.
 
"T-shirt." Sam decided, putting the sweatshirt aside before stripping down. He
pulled the jeans on, and they fit perfectly, making Sam wonder why Dean owned
such jeans since there was at least few inch height difference between them.
But never mind, the jeans hugged Sam's ass just right, showed his slim but firm
thighs and Sam figured he could live with the fact that those jeans maybe had
belonged to some of Dean's previous lover. Then he pulled the black t-shirt on.
It was quite tight but Sam didn't complain. He knew how his body looked and he
also knew that the shirt showed his pecs nicely.
 
"Better?" Sam asked with a smirk and made a full turn before Dean like he was
presenting clothes on a fashion show.
 
Dean should have guessed that his shirt which was just about right on him would
stretch across Sam's broad chest and look indecently good on him. Mouth going
dry he nodded to Sam's question, reminding himself that they were supposed to
go shopping to keep himself from jumping Sam's bones right then.
 
"Alright, let's head out." Dean said, clearing his throat and trying to keep
himself from staring at the way Sam's chest pushed against that shirt. He
loosened his tie in the elevator, popping the top two buttons of his pale blue
shirt because he really couldn't spend five minutes with Sam without thinking
of sinking into that perfect ass. Sighing, Dean closed his eyes and went over
the number of ways Gordon Walker has tried to humiliate him in the past and
that really killed his libido effectively.
 
They hit the high-end men's suit retailers first. Dean got Sam suits in every
shade of gray and black, bought him several shirts that fit him so perfectly
that he gave in and groped Sam in the changing room at one point. Buying
loafers and covering the formal part of the wardrobe, they then headed for
buying Sam high quality jeans and t-shirts, sweaters and just because Dean
hadn't forgotten his own love for boots, cowboy boots for Sam.
 
Buying underwear turned to be fun because Dean had a thing for men in boxer-
briefs but then again, the merits of walking around in boxers was not lost on
him. So he bought him both. He knew he was playing dress up with Sam but he
couldn't help it. The guy was just too pretty.
 
To be honest? Sam didn't like wearing suits, they were usually uncomfortable
and felt way too formal, but then again, Sam figured the suits were the
necessary evil if he was being Dean's 'escort' on a business trip which most
likely included spending a lot of time with the rich and privileged. And to his
big surprise, the suits were actually kinda nice. Even comfortable, which
really wasn't a wonder considering that they cost a small fortune. Dean seemed
happy to buy them for him, so Sam didn't complain. And when Dean shamelessly
groped him in the fitting room, Sam was ready to let Dean dress him in a gown
if he wanted to. Well, or not. But it was still fun.
 
Jeans and t-shirts, sweaters, casual jackets, shoes and even cowboy boots that
actually were kinda cool. Sam almost waited Dean to buy a stetson to go with
the boots. And then Dean bought him a huge pile of underwear, boxer-briefs and
boxers, and for a moment Sam felt like he had fell in the middle of Twilight
Zone and turned into a doll Dean was happily dressing up. When the shopping
tour was finally over, Sam was exhausted and hungry, and very happy when they
headed back to Dean's.
 
Two mind numbing orange slushies later, Dean pulled into the garage.
 
He reached into his jacket pocket, taking out a second keycard. "Here, I got
you this. Now you can leave the apartment while I'm gone." Dean said, handing
it to him. "Hope you had fun today," Dean said with a grin, "I'm gonna have to
head back to work, I'll probably be home late. See you, Sammy." Dean said,
leaning across the seat to kiss the side of Sam's neck before letting him go
with a smile.
 
"Thanks." Sam smiled and got out of the car after kissing Dean which was so
unprofessional it wasn't even funny, but on the other hand very enjoyable. Sam
headed into Dean's apartment, heated some leftover pasta and ate by the kitchen
counter. Then he remembered his thoughts from earlier and decided to call Will.
Will answered his phone almost right away, wasn't working at the moment and
promised to meet Sam in a nearby café.
 
Will was an escort, a high class one, and Sam had met him when he had tried
that job for a brief while but it hadn't been what he wanted so he had quit
almost right away, but him and Will had remained friends, even when they didn't
see each other that often anymore.
 
"Dean Winchester." Sam said, sitting down to a table with Will and taking a sip
of his latte. "What can you tell me about him?"
 
Will frowned. "Why? And how do you know him?"
 
"Just answer the question."
 
Will sighed. "I'm not allowed to speak of my clients, no matter how long ago I
was in their service."
 
Sam sighed back. "Well, better break that rule now because he has hired me for
a whole month and I want to know what I've gotten myself into."
 
"Sam. No." Will suddenly looked very serious. "Don't do it. That man is
dangerous."
 
"Why do you say that?" Sam was curious. "In what way?"
 
Will looked away and cleared his throat. "He can be... a bit sadistic. Likes to
play... rough, if you know what I mean." He looked back at Sam. "Don't do it.
He'll chew you up and spit you out, and he'll hurt you. Trust me."
 
"No." Sam said, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth for a while. "I need
the money. And he's paying good."
 
Will shook his head, looking defeated. "your funeral, pal. Do as you wish."
 
"Don't I always?"
***** Confusion *****
Sam returned back to Dean's place, Will's words echoing in his mind.
 
"He'll chew you up and spit you out, and he'll hurt you. Trust me."
 
Sam shook his head. No, he didn't believe it. Then why was he suddenly slightly
worried, thinking that he'd spend a month with Dean. On a cruise. Most of the
time there would be nothing but water around. No escape. Then he shook his head
again to push those thoughts away and decided that Dean would be hungry when
he'd come back from work, and so he started cooking, which was also one way to
calm him down. He made grilled chicken and a cheese salad, and Dean arrived
just in time after Sam had set the table.
 
"You look tired." Sam said softly but couldn't hide the suspension Will's words
had planted on him,even when he tried. "I made dinner. Come, it's already on
the table."
 
"Something wrong?" Dean asked, noticing something had changed but not bringing
it up, just taking off his jacket and putting it on the back of a chair,
swallowing down a glass of water before spying the food that looked absolutely
delicious. Seriously, Sam could have been like... a stripper chef. He would
make millions. But he was getting distracted. Dean could see the worry lines on
Sam's face and he wondered what had happened in between the orange slushies and
the grilled chicken.
 
"Nah, I'm fine." Sam assured. "Just met an old friend while you were at work
and he wasn't in a very good mood." That wasn't exactly a lie. "And I'm a bit
tired, I'm not used to four hour shopping tours." He grinned at that. "But it
was nice. Thank you."
 
Sam went to Dean and kissed him softly. He still couldn't believe that what
Will had said would actually be true. Still, why would his friend say something
like that if it wasn't true? Sam decided that he needed to talk with Will
again, this time to get some clear answers.
 
"Now, let's sit down, eat, and go to sleep. You look like you could fall asleep
standing there. Come on." He took Dean's hand and led him to the table.
 
Dean found the whole thing just so warm and the atmosphere so homey he wondered
for a moment how he'll go back to not having Sam around in four short weeks.
And that thought made him want to forget the fact he had even thought about it
at the first place. So, he concentrated on what was on front of him now,
pushing aside every thought about the future, because seriously, he didn't even
know Sam, not really. All he knew was that Sam was a great cook and a great
fuck, and that was enough. It had to be.
 
The food was delicious, as he could have guessed and Dean chose to forgo the
shower for the bed instead. Brushing his teeth and splashing water on his face
to make himself feel more human, he crawled into bed in his sweatpants and a
long sleeved t-shirt. They ate and went to sleep, this time with clothes on,
though Sam didn't bother with a shirt, just borrowed Dean's old and comfortable
flannel pajama pants that were slightly too short but it didn't matter. Somehow
the borrowing of Dean's clothes was really intimate, but Dean didn't seem to
mind, just kissed him gently, lazily in bed, just lips moving over lips, hands
cupping Sam's cheeks lightly until he fell asleep. Dean sighed. If he wasn't
careful, he could fall for Sam, and that wasn't an option. He really should
think twice before hiring people as gorgeous as him. They messed up his thought
processes.
 
Sam was tired but stayed awake for a while longer, thinking. This felt too
good, all of this. Sleeping next to Dean, having dinner with him every night...
It was somehow so... domestic. And it felt too good. Sam would have to take a
grip of himself before he'd get emotionally attached to Dean. He had to remind
himself what he was; a paid companion, and when the month would be over, he
most likely wouldn't see Dean ever again.
 
He had to stay professional and suppress any feelings he had for Dean before
they even started.
 
And Will was wrong, Dean couldn't be like Will had described him. Sam had to
believe that, even when it would have been easier if Dean really turned out to
be some sadistic bastard. Sam closed his eyes, wondering how it was possible
that in just few days things had become this complicated. He'd hold up his end
of the deal, sure, but if he had to fight this hard to keep his stupid dreams
of a future in bay, then after a month... Then what?
 
This thing, this thing with Dean, was something Sam had never experienced
before. Dean made him forget about his principals way too often, and every time
Dean kissed him or touched him, Sam was lost. It just felt too good. He had to
remind himself that if things seemed to be too good to be true, they usually
were.
 
It didn't help, not when Dean's sleep-warm body was so – too – close to him.
 
Finally Sam fell asleep, arms around Dean's body, and he allowed himself to
enjoy the closeness, even for a while.
***** Off To The Sea *****
Dean slept deeply, until he was woken up the alarm. Tiredly he noted that at
least it was Thursday already, so just one more day and he'll get to sleep in.
He repeated his everyday routines and headed to work.
 
Gordon was getting curious. Apparently he had been sniffing around agencies,
wondering who Dean was bringing with him so that he could one-up him but of
course he didn't find anything. So halfway through the day he got a phone call
from the almighty Walker.
 
"Ready for the cruise this Monday, Winchester?" Walker said and Dean sighed,
giving up on the file in front of him for the moment.
 
"Yeah. Why're you calling me?" Dean asked.
 
"No reason. Why? Can't a friend check up on a buddy every now and then?" Gordon
asked and Dean rolled his eyes.
 
"We're not friends, Walker."
 
"So who're you bringing to the trip?"
 
"Aha! That's all you wanted to know huh? Eat your heart out, Walker. You'll
meet him this Monday." And Dean ended the call, feeling smug and this time, he
got through the file that had been boring him to death earlier.
 
Today, he managed to get home a little earlier, the elevator doors opening to
his penthouse at 7:30 instead of the usual little after 8pm.
 
Sam noticed right away that Dean was somehow different as he came home that
evening but didn't make any questions. He had tried to call Will again but only
reached his answering machine, and so he didn't have any answers to the
questions he really wanted to ask.
 
Time flew, and before Sam even had time to consider if his decision to do this
was wise it was already Monday, and he found himself standing beside Dean on a
deck of the most expensive yacht he had ever seen. It was a massive ship, with
swimming pools and bars and everything. So this was it. Three weeks with
nothing but water around them, and Sam still couldn't help but wonder why Dean
had picked him. A guy with looks and money could have got anyone, so why Sam?
And still Sam had a feeling the trip would maybe not be that bad at all. Their
luggage had been hauled away to their cabin before they even boarded and was
likely waiting for them. It was late afternoon, and people were still getting
here. It would be another hour before the ship set sail.
 
He didn't have too much time to dwell in his thoughts though, because suddenly
there was someone approaching them, or rather Dean, and Sam steeled himself. If
he was completely honest, this was something he had ever experienced before.
All these rich people around, most of them making his usual clients look like
secretaries.
 
"Ah Winchester! You made it!" Said a guy who looked African-American,
sauntering towards them in an expensive Armani suit as soon as Dean and Sam
boarded. The guy who had greeted Dean was on the deck, looking as though he was
waiting for them. Sam noticed his saunter fail a little when he saw him next to
Dean, eyes widening and Sam felt strange kind of satisfaction. He felt
confident in his new suit that Dean had picked for him, and he knew he looked
good. And the way Dean looked, so sexy and handsome in his own suit, Sam knew
that they were quite a couple.
 
"Gordon Walker?” Dean smiled but there was something strange hiding underneath
that smile. ”Meet Sam Daniels, my escort. Sam? This is Walker, CEO of the
Walker Petrochemical Industries." Dean introduced them, grinning. So, this was
the infamous Walker? Sam wasn't really impressed.
 
"Nice to meet you, Sam." Sam's name was a purr as Gordon held out a hand, "I
must admit, you are a very fine looking young man." Gordon said smoothly and
Sam was suddenly rather amused. This Gordon guy wasn't really that smooth, now
was he. More like see-through and quite slimy if you asked Sam. Still he took
the offered hand and gave it a firm shake.
 
"Nice to meet you too, Mr. Walker." Sam said with a polite voice that didn't
hold any awe. "I have a feeling that this cruise will be really great." But
instead of looking at Walker, Sam looked at Dean and smiled at him. Play your
part, Daniels, that's what you're paid to do.
 
Dean was impressed by Sam's polite dismissal to Gordon and more than a little
smug.
"Maybe we'll meet later." Sam said, bringing his attention back to Gordon. "But
now I think we'll check out our room with Dean." Sam removed his hand from
Gordon's, politely too, and went back to Dean's side. "Shall we go?" He asked
Dean, giving him a look that was full of admiring and affection that couldn't
go unnoticed by Gordon. "I want to kiss you senseless but not here..." Sam said
with a quieter voice, almost a purr. Probably slightly see-through, but as far
as Sam had noticed, the 'dates' of other people on board were not there for
lovey-dovey romance either. "Don't want to seem inappropriate..." Sam added
quietly, giving Dean his most seductive smile.
 
In front of them Gordon was amused. This new kid? He was interesting and Gordon
was interested. "Oh sure, don't mind me. I'll let you two be." Because really,
that lovey-dovey look they had just exchanged? It was a load of shit. Sam was a
hired escort, paid to pretend to love. And if paid enough, his love would
shift. So Dean better be careful or someone might outbid his 'lover'.
 
Sam didn't pay much attention to the tone of his voice. Turning around Gordon
left and Dean led Sam to their room, that was really a suite with a living area
attached to a bedroom that was attached to a large bathroom. The suite looked
amazing.
 
As soon as they entered the suite, Dean pushed Sam up against the door, kissing
him deeply and Sam kissed him back with the same ferocity. Breaking off the
kiss, Dean looked deep into Sam's eyes. "Stay away from Gordon, alright?" Dean
asked. "He always, always harasses my escorts. So just... try to keep your
interaction with him to a minimum." Dean said, kissing Sam's lips again. Dean's
words left Sam wondering, but not for long as he let himself drown into that
kiss, tasting Dean and he wanted more but he had seen the schedule of the day
and knew that they didn't have time for anything else than kissing. A shame,
really, because Sam really wanted a test drive on the huge king sized bed in
their bedroom. Will's warnings or not, Sam was pretty much gone every time Dean
touched him, and that was scary but as long as Dean kept touching him it didn't
matter.
 
"Don't worry." Sam whispered against Dean's lips as he finally, reluctantly
pulled away just half an inch. "I wouldn't mind if I never saw that guy again.
I didn't like he way he was talking to me or looking at me..." Sam gave Dean a
small last kiss before pulling away. "To be honest? There's something shady
about him. Something not right, and don't forget that I have a degree on
psychology. I can read people pretty well."
 
It was true. Something about Gordon Walker set the alarm bells ringing inside
Sam's head. There was something about that man. He was too polite and at the
same time slimy as a snail. That was never a good combination.
 
Still Sam didn't want to linger on that thought for too long, not to even speak
about darkening Dean's mood, so he smiled to lighten the atmosphere. "So,
when's the lunch? I'm starving." He grinned.
 
"Mm." Dean hummed, kissing Sam's mouth again because really, that mouth was
just too pouty to not kiss. "As soon as it sets sail." He kissed him again.
"Let's go out to the deck, I'll introduce you to some people." Dean said
kissing him one last time before opening the suite doors. He grabbed Sam's
hand, winding their fingers together and tugging him out through the hallway
and stairs up to the deck.
 
It was much more busy now, and Dean dragged Sam from this guy to that, all
owners and CEOs and founders and co-founders. Every one of them was with an
escort, male or female.
Sam was being introduced to what felt like a million people and he couldn't
remember half of their names and less of what they did but he didn't mind. He
was a visitor in this world, and to be honest? These people meant nothing.
Three weeks and they would all be just a distant memory.
 
Like Dean...
 
Sam shook the thought away and concentrated on being polite and charming, but
not too charming because some of these people seemed like real sleazebags and
he really didn't need any big-bellied corporation boss or some silicone-pumped
CEO to try and hit on him. He was with Dean, and he was working. And these
people obviously loved a bit of drama, Sam could almost feel the anticipation
sizzling underneath it all and figured that for most of these people this
cruise had to be the highlight of the year; to come and show off their escorts,
and stare with hungry eyes if they found that someone had a nicer toy. Because
most of these escorts were hired, Sam could see that clear as day. Toys. Hired,
so temporarily their property. Sam did not want to find out what else they
would be ready to do besides staring.
 
Sam saw Gordon with a young man who was more a boy, barely legal if Sam was
right, or at least looked like that. He was following Gordon around like a well
trained dog, but when Gordon wasn't looking the boy looked like a kicked puppy.
Sam felt bad for him. It maybe went unnoticed by others, but Sam noticed how
the boy was limping slightly, and Sam didn't think it was because the boy's
legs hurt. That only reaffirmed Sam's earlier suspicion that not everything was
right with Gordon.
 
But then again, Will had said pretty much the same of Dean...
 
Dean was chatting with a woman, Andrea something, when the horn blew and the
ship left the dock. Sam could sense the undercurrent sizzle of excitement going
through the crowd, and the idea that it was because they would spend most of
the next three weeks on sea, without a getaway, on this floating meat market...
It made him feel slightly ill.
 
Then it was lunch time and Sam wasn't really surprised when as soon as Dean had
left for a moment to go to the restroom, Gordon appeared, slipping into Dean's
seat. Sam kept his expression cam and collected.
 
"You've been avoiding me." Gordon said easily, leaning forward with his elbows
on the table. "How'd you like the ship? She's a beauty isn't she?" He asked,
grabbing Dean's glass of red wine and swirling it in the glass. Sam smiled a
little. So much about manners... He didn't point it out though, no need to give
Gordon anything to bite on.
 
"She sure is." Sam said just as easily and took a comfortable position on his
seat. "A bit crowded but I guess that's the point." Meat market for the rich
and almost famous. "So, where's your boy?" Sam asked then, looking curious. "He
might get lost if you leave him wandering around like that." Though Sam didn't
say that he'd rather see a man over board -meaning Gordon- so that the poor boy
would get a break.
 
Gordon chuckled lightly, sipping from Dean's glass. "Dean always goes for the
feisty ones." He said with a laugh. "My boy? He's in bed... he's feeling a
bit... sea-sick. If you know what I mean." Gordon answered easily and Sam felt
a bit sick himself but not because of the sea. "He's not as strong as you are."
Gordon smiled slowly, taking another sip from Dean's glass. Sam watched him
with a small smile on his lips, slightly amused of Gordon's 'I own the world'-
attitude even when he still felt ill about the man, the way he thought
everything could be bought and sold, even people.
 
"So what agency do you work with?" Gordon asked, still smiling at Sam because a
beauty like that? As soon as Dean's contract was over he was hiring Sam to be
his. "I might require your... services soon." He said with a lewd grin.
"I don't work for any agency." Sam replied, still smiling a little and taking a
sip from his own wine glass. "And I'm not for sale."
 
God, Sam had never been happier that he really didn't work for any agency
because that way he had the freedom to choose his own clients, and Hell would
freeze all over before Gordon would become one of them.
 
Sam kept his smile on his face when Gordon raised an eyebrow. Thought I would
be that easy, huh? Sam thought but didn't let any of it reflect from his face.
No smugness, no disgust, just platonic politeness.
 
"Well then, I'm curious about the terms of the contract between you and Dean
Winchester." Gordon said, leaning back and weaving his fingers together in
front of him. Sam had no intentions of telling that man anything. Dean was
right, Sam should avoid this guy. Not because he was afraid of being harassed,
but because the guy irritated him and Sam was pretty sure the rest of the crowd
wouldn't be very happy if Sam was the one to throw Gordon over the board...
 
Suddenly Gordon seemed to notice something behind Sam, smiled wickedly before
turning to look back at Sam, reaching across the table and grasping Sam's hand
tightly, using his surprise to squeeze his fingers. "Unfortunately I have to go
now. I'll be seeing you around, Sam." Gordon said, getting up and heading
around to his own table.
***** One Step Further, Two Steps Back *****
Dean stormed to Sam's side. "What's going on?" He growled, sitting down at his
chair. "What did he want?" He asked Sam, grabbing his glass of wine, ready to
drink himself to oblivion.
 
"What did he want?" Sam laughed a little. "Me." Then Sam turned serious. "not
going to happen. The man is a walking pile of... I won't even desecrate myself
with saying what. And oh, I wouldn't drink from that glass. Gordy there decided
to have a taste and I wouldn't be so sure where his mouth has been, and to
honest I don't even want to know." Dean put the glass down like he had been
burned, frowning at it. Sam sighed. "You were right. I don't wanna see him
again. Let's get you a disease-free glass and enjoy the meal, okay?" Sam asked,
a little worried seeing the murderous look in Dean's eyes. "Hey, take it easy."
Sam reached over the table to twine his fingers with Dean's. "Yours. Remember?"
 
And maybe Sam was losing his mind, but a part of him wished that that simple
word, 'yours', would include more than these next three weeks. Once again he
reminded himself to take a grip of himself. He was a professional, and this was
a job. When the contract would be over, Sam would walk out of it a wealthy man,
and they would both go on with their lives.
 
Dean tightened his hold on Sam's fingers, rubbing his thumb over the back of
Sam's hand and Sam breathed a little easier. "Yeah." Dean said softly, pushing
the glass to the side. "I don't get why he goes after me, ya know? Like there's
dozens and dozens of businessmen and businesswomen here, I don't get why he
singles me out and goes after the people I come with." He held his hand up for
the server, grabbing himself a new glass of wine, shuddering about the fact
that he had drunk from it earlier and then Gordon had put his lips right there
again. Talk about indirect kisses.
 
"Jealousy could be one thing." Sam said, falling into his thoughts. "I got a
feeling that his escorts are usually very young and practically scared to death
of him, which tells me that either he likes the power he has over them, or that
he can't get himself a companion that really wants to be with him." Sam took a
sip of wine and thought some more. "I really can't say more until I know a
little bit more about him, like how long you have known this guy. Have you
always been rivals? In that case, it just might be that he's taking all this
personally and has remained in a child-like state, you know, when he sees a
nice toy, he has to have it, even if it belongs to someone else." Dean
snickered at the thought of Gordon being child-like. There was nothing child-
like about him.
 
Sam smiled warmly to Dean. "Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. I'm here
with you and only you. And I like it that way." Dean smiled back at Sam,
thinking of how lucky he was to have gotten lost that particular night, simply
because he had turned his GPS navigator off, took a wrong turn, and then found
this beauty walking along the sidewalk. It also reminded him that Sam was a
hooker and for all Dean knew, all Sam's affection was bought. So it would do
him good to remember that.
 
Just then the waiter came to serve their food. The sea bass was delicious and
Sam enjoyed the meal, but to be honest? If being on a cruise meant that
majority of the meals would include seafood then Sam would really start missing
a good steak.
 
"If they're gonna serve fish the whole trip, I'm gonna cook some big mean
steaks when--" Sam's mouth snapped shut. Fuck, he had almost said 'when we get
home'. God. "Nevermind. Wanna circle around some more, or go to the suite? I
think I saw a jacuzzi in the bathroom." Sam smiled wide, his dimples showing.
 
Dean gave him a smile back, even when his mood had dampened a bit. It wasn't
very hard to finish Sam's short-cut sentence in his head. "The uh..." He
frowned, trying to get his thoughts back in working order from their
rollercoaster of emotions that went from happiness at seeing Sam's dimples and
down in the dumps with the reminder that Sam was being paid to be nice to him.
"They serve other meats," Dean said with a smile, back in his element and
forcing troublesome emotions to the corner. "The menu changes every other day,
and one of these days you'll get a menu inspired by Arabian cuisine, and then
there'll be french and Italian and so on and so forth." Dean explained. "The
first day or so they have a Mediterranean cuisine in place so you'll have to
suffer through fish for a bit longer." Dean said with a grin.
 
Finishing their meals, Dean got up, grasping Sam's hand. "Let's head back."
Dean said softly, pulling Sam close and whispering in his ear, "I want to fuck
you in the jacuzzi, and then I want to break in the bed." Dean purred, kissing
the shell of Sam's neck which made him shiver and leading them to their suite.
 
"Arabian?" Sam asked before they entered the suite. "Wow. Never had that before
and I've tasted almost everything. Nice." Sam removed his tie once they were
inside. He hated ties. Might just as well put a hangman's noose around his
neck. He continued with throwing his jacket to the chair and then unbuttoning
his shirt, followed by the pants, boxers and socks until he was in front of
Dean, naked as the day he had been born. Dean watched, entranced by every inch
of skin revealed and his fingers twitched with the need to touch.
 
"Take your clothes off." Sam said softly and moved closer to Dean, helping him
shed his clothes until Dean was naked as well, kissing and caressing the golden
skin that was revealed from under the fabric. "I love your body..." Sam
muttered between kisses on Dean's skin, going on his knees and kissing Dean's
stomach and the soft skin just above his pubic hair. Dean combed his fingers
through Sam's hair, his nails scratching against Sam's scalp lightly until he
looked up. "Come on." He stood up and took Dean's hand, leading him to the
bathroom.
 
The jacuzzi was huge and already full. There was some kind of heating system
because the water was warm and nice, and Sam stepped in, pulling Dean there
along with him.
 
"Sit down." Sam whispered and pushed Dean down before sitting down himself and
climbing on Dean's lap, pressing their bodies together as the warm water
caressed their skin. Dean was usually the one who took charge of his fucks but
this was nice, letting someone else take over for a little bit. "Let me...
Please?" Sam asked, lips brushing Deans. Dean nodded, pressing another kiss to
those lips. "Yeah, anything you want." He whispered.
 
Sam reached out to the side and took the tube of lube he had stashed there when
Dean hadn't seen. He smirked, waving the tube in front of Dean. "Waterproof."
Dean chuckled lightly, reaching out to cup Sam's cheek, thumb brushing back wet
strands of hair sticking to Sam's forehead and cheeks.
 
Sam backed off a little, bent down under the water and took Dean's cock in his
mouth, and Dean watched surprised until Sam sucked it and he gasped, the
sensation of Sam's hot, wet mouth on his cock competing with the hot water
jetting around them until Dean couldn't think. Sam sucked until his lungs
burned and he had to come up for air. Taking a deep breath he repeated the
action twice more. Dean threw his head back, resting on the cool tiled floor as
he concentrated on the feel of Sam's mouth on him underwater. He kept his hands
to the side, fisted for fear that he would grab Sam's head and keep him down
until he drowned.
 
Sam smirked when he came up for the last time before popping the cap of the
lube open and pouring a generous amount of it on his hands. Then he reached
down under the water and slicked Dean's cock, and Dean groaned again, breathing
going harsh. Already Sam's touch was familiar and addictive, making him need
more the more he got it. Sam reached forward, licking and nipping Dean's lips
and climbing back to his lap. He didn't want prep, not now. He just wanted Dean
inside of him, so he lifted his hips, took Dean's cock in his hand and
positioned it against his hole. Then he looked Dean in the eyes and sank down
on the hard shaft, eyes squeezing close as Dean's thick cock sank inside of him
to the root. Dean was caught by surprise when instead of prepping himself, Sam
just sank down on his cock, looking him in the eyes and Dean felt something
inside him twist. He stared back at Sam, looking so deep into him while Sam's
eyes squeezed close It burned, and it felt good. Sam was tight and Dean was
huge, and Sam had to take a second to breath, leaning against Dean and burying
his face against Dean's shoulder.
 
Dean moaned, Sam's ass squeezing him so tightly he couldn't think. He gripped
Sam's hips tight, keeping himself from just lifting Sam up and fucking into
him. He gave Sam a second to breath as he leaned against Dean and buried his
face against Dean's shoulder. Dean reached up, cupping the back of Sam's head
as his own eyes slipped closed. He had never felt so close to another person
before. He had fucked around a lot, and yes, he had fucked around in jacuzzi
before too but this... just being inside Sam with Sam leaning against him was
so...
 
Close.
 
Sam sat back up and looked Dean in the eyes. Dean gave him a shaky smile,
pushing his thoughts away. Sam's eyes were wide and filled with lust mixed with
pain bordering pleasure. Dean rubbed his hands down, massaging Sam's lower back
trying to ease the pain that Sam must be feeling. He started rocking back and
forth, writhing on Dean's lap, grinding his hips down, feeling Dean's cock rub
his insides and Sam moaned. Dean stopped thinking. He was surrounded by Sam,
feeling him all over himself and his eyes slipped closed, concentrating on just
feeling and hearing Sam. After a while Sam started riding Dean, the water
making the movement easy and weightless and Dean moaned, grabbing onto Sam's
hips and feeling the muscles shift with every movement. Then Dean's cock
brushed against Sam's prostate and Sam cried out, arched his back and threw his
head back, still riding Dean. Dean's eyes flew open, seeing how Sam arched his
back and threw his head back, giving him a spectacular view of his glistening
body. His muscles were trembling but he kept riding, harder and faster, back
still arched and throat bared, eyes closed and panting heavily. Dean watched,
panting at the sight because oh god there was so much he wanted to do to Sam
and not nearly enough time for it. His muscles were trembling and he was so
wired up he knew he couldn't last much longer, but he wanted to drive Dean over
the edge as well. So he kept riding, harder and faster, back still arched and
throat bared, eyes closed and panting heavily.
 
He looked back at Dean and ground down on his cock few more times, hard,
clenching his ass around the hard shaft, and when he saw the look in Dean's
eyes he knew they had reached the edge and let himself lose it. He came with a
cry of Dean's name on his lips just as he felt Dean spilling inside of him.
 
Sam stayed rigid for a moment longer, aftershocks making his body spasm while
Dean watched , and then he collapsed against Dean, his head on Dean's shoulder,
panting against the hot, wet skin.
 
"Christ that felt good..." Sam whispered against Dean's skin, eyes closed,
sated and boneless.
 
Dean turned his head, kissing Sam's lips so softly that it was barely a brush
of lips. 'God I love him', Dean thought affectionately before the words
filtered through and he... well... he panicked.
 
He pushed Sam away, slipping out him much too roughly before Sam was falling
backwards into the pool of water. "Sorry... I gotta... I gotta go." Dean said,
getting out of the jacuzzi like he had hellhounds on his ass and went straight
into the bedroom.
 
He changed quickly, putting on gray slacks and a pale green shirt so fast he
didn't bother buttoning it before he was heading out of the suite and out. He
didn't know what he planned on doing, but he needed to nip this affection,
this... 'love'... in the bud before he ended up getting hurt. Sam couldn't
possibly care for him like that, he was just doing this because he was being
paid to do so...
 
Yes. Nipping was a good idea.
 
So Dean went, fully planning on finding someone willing to share their toy with
him.
 
Sam was confused. One moment they were there, enjoying the afterglow of their
orgasms, and the next moment Dean was practically running away. Sam let him go.
He had no claims over Dean, and Dean had no obligations to him. So he stayed in
the jacuzzi, only bothered to move a bit to gather his own come floating in the
water and throwing the watery ropes to the sink. Then he lay down on the
jacuzzi, closed his eyes and tried to relax, which was stupid because he should
have been relaxed after being thoroughly fucked. But he wasn't. In some level
Dean's quick escape hurt him, and wasn't that just dumb? This was business,
Dean had only hired him for sex and to show him around to other businessmen and
women. So why did it feel so bad?
 
After maybe thirty minutes Sam got up, dried himself and went to their bedroom.
He figured it was late enough to abandon suits and dress casually, which was
just fine. Sam dressed in dark jeans and a black button-up, slipped his feet
into black leather sneakers and combed his still moist hair back before heading
out. He wanted a drink.
 
There was a bar on the deck. The sky was getting dark and the deck was lit with
light bulbs of every color of the rainbow. Sam idly wondered how something that
cheap could look so expensive on a ship like this.
 
Sam ordered a whiskey sour and went to the railing, staring to the ocean. The
water was dead calm and dark, beautiful. Sam glimpsed to his side and noticed
the young blond boy who had been with Gordon a little further away. He went to
the boy.
 
"I'm sorry." Sam said quietly when he leaned to the rail next to the boy, who
looked up at him, surprised.
 
"For what?"
 
"Gordon." Sam said softly, his voice showing that he meant no harm. "I'm sorry
he's hurting you."
 
"That's none of your business." The boy said with a cocky voice that didn't
fully hide his insecurity. "I suggest you mind your own."
 
Sam sighed. The kid reminded Sam of himself when he had been younger. Before
college. "What's your name?"
 
"Ben." The boy said and seemed surprised that he had actually answered. But the
defense mechanism struck back on right away. "Why? What do you care?"
 
"I have my reasons." Sam said quietly. "I'm Sam, by the way. Just promise me
one thing. Gordon hurts you, you tell me. Okay?"
 
"I don't trust you." Ben said and refused to look at Sam. Sam sighed again.
 
"I used to be like you." He said quietly. "Then I learned that in order to
survive, sometimes you just have to trust someone. I did. It helped me to get
through."
 
"You don't know shit." Ben spat out. "You don't know what it's like..."
 
Sam smiled sadly. "Actually, I do. And when you are ready to drop that
attitude, seek me out. We can talk."
 
With that Sam left, found a quiet spot at the end of the boat and continued to
stare at the black water.
 
Gordon was on the deck as well and saw Ben talking to Sam, and his mood
darkened. As soon as Sam turned away, Gordon went to Ben's side and grabbed his
hair, yanking him to the side. "What did you tell him?!" He snarled into his
face and Ben whimpered.
 
"I didn't tell him anything, I swear!"
 
"You better not have." Gordon warned and Ben visibly cowered. Smacking Ben's
back hard enough to send him sprawling, he gave a disgusted huff and walked
away. Not one of his boys could stand up to him, could take a little beating
and still be able to walk straight. It was disgusting and pathetic.
He looked up and saw Sam at the corner of the boat, looking down at the dark
water. Now there was a man who could take a bit of pain, he bet.
 
Sam didn't even realize it first, but then he heard it. The steps were quiet,
barely audible, but Sam heard them all the same. And when a body pressed him
against the railing, leaving him no escape, Sam only rolled his eyes. Dean's
body had become so familiar during the last week, that Sam instantly knew that
this wasn't Dean. And the hand that curled over Sam's ass, squeezing while the
man leaned in confirmed it. "I see Winchester let you run around without a
leash." The man said softly, whispering in Sam's ear. "I'll give you a thousand
bucks for a kiss. Not bad, huh Daniels?" He proposed and Sam smiled slightly.
 
"Gordon." he simply said. "Let's make one thing clear. I don't work for any
agency. I make my own deals. I choose who I want to be with." Sam forced Gordon
to give him enough room to turn around and face the man, effectively forcing
him also let go of Sam's ass. "You? Sorry, but you're not my type."
 
Gordon was surprised for only a moment because he had started to expect Sam's
spunk. He liked a bit of a challenge, enjoyed fighting for what he wanted
because when he got it, victory tasted that much sweeter.
 
"In your line of work, you don't have a type." Gordon said smoothly, curling
his hand around Sam's hip, feeling the sharp hipbone underneath and loving the
feel of it.
 
"In my line of work?" Sam hummed. "See, that's the moment you made a mistake."
That didn't seem to stop Gordon who curled his other hand around Sam's hip.
 
"Just a kiss, hmm? No strings attached. I just want to taste you." He
whispered, leaning in, breathing on Sam's lips, inches away. "Name your price.
It's just a kiss, you'll be a fool to turn that down." He proposed, his other
hand gripping the other side of Sam's hip, pressing him closer so that their
groins were pressed against each other and Gordon was sure Sam could feel his
half hard erection. Gordon was already hardening in anticipation and fuck, Sam
was too fucking beautiful to not have. Gordon was hardening quite fast,but all
Sam could feel was pity. If the guy thought he was just another one of those
poor break em' and leave 'em- boys, then well, he was wrong.
 
And Gordon really wasn't his type.
 
"Let go of me." Sam said with a silent voice that held no anger, only
determination. "I already have a client, and no money in the world could make
me break a deal." Sam's lips curled into a snarky smile. "Call it professional
pride, or whatever. And now, let me go unless you want me to make a scene. I
wonder how well that would go with your public image, hmm?"
 
Sam's words only made Gordon want him more, but he knew that this was a lost
cause, at the moment anyway. Tightening his grip one last time, Gordon leaned
in just enough to sniff the musky scent, smelling like water and earth and
something else unique and unidentifiable. It made his mouth water and harden
further in his pants.
 
"I'll see you at dinner." Gordon finished, pulling back and letting go of Sam.
Just as he did he heard rapid footsteps behind him. Those footsteps Sam
recognized. They were a little unstable, and the strong scent of whiskey the
wind carried confirmed the fact that Dean was drunk even before he had reached
them.
 
"Step away from him, Gordon." Dean growled, heading to their side and pushing
Gordon away. It was strange, Dean didn't fear for one moment that Sam would
cheat on him, not like he had with all the other escorts, but rather he just
wanted Gordon away and not touching Sam.
 
Gordon stepped away on command, almost mockingly in an 'as you wish' attitude.
He held his hands up. "Stepping away now. No need to get pissy." He said.
 
"I'll show you fucking pissy!" Dean growled, stalking towards him but Gordon
only looked amused.
"You really don't want to get into a fight with me. I have a good fifty pounds
on you and I promise I won't go easy." Gordon warned, still talking like Dean
was an ant incapable of hurting him. Dean's blood boiled as he swung at him but
Gordon twisted out of reach, grabbing Dean's arm and twisting so that Dean's
arm was behind him, bent at a painful angle. "Oh hell, you're drunk and you're
trying to fight me?" Gordon whispered into Dean's ear, smelling the whiskey all
over him. "Come to me sober and this may even be a bit fun. But I'll let you go
now, I'm above fighting helpless people." Gordon said, letting Dean go with a
push and he staggered, grabbing the railing along to keep himself from falling
into frigid waters.
 
"Fucker!" Dean yelled but Gordon just tsked.
 
"Keep your voice down, we don't want the security to get here, do we?" Gordon
said before turning to Sam. "I'll see you at dinner, sweetheart." He said with
a wink and a very pointed leer at Sam's crotch before leaving.
"I don't think so." Sam said quietly when Gordon was out of hearing range. Then
he knelt by Dean who was sitting on the floor, head resting against the
railing, feet stretched out in front of him, looking palish green.
 
"I don't feel so good." He muttered, the alcohol in his stomach boiling hot and
acidic. Sam knelt by him. Dean really looked sick.
 
And he was reeking of perfume and sex and sweat that was not from Sam nor Dean.
 
Sam hardened himself mentally. It was obvious how Dean had spent the last
couple of hours, but their contract didn't include a rule that Dean should
commit himself exclusively to Sam during their time together. But they would
have to back to condoms. Sam wasn't going to risk it. His job depended on being
clean and not making any mistakes.
 
"I'm not hungry." Sam said and proceeded to help Dean up. "I don't think you're
either. Right now I think a shower and a good night's sleep would be best for
you, 'kay?" Sam asked and supported Dean, leading him into their cabin.
 
And he stubbornly pushed away the thought of being just one guy among the
others. A substitute when Dean got bored of others.
 
Didn't matter. Less than three weeks and this would be over, and so were Sam's
financial problems.
 
But the condoms were back in the game.
***** Can't Let You Walk Away *****
Dean let Sam support him, enjoying the close contact more than he had any right
to. He listened to Sam suggest a shower and sleep and agreed wholeheartedly.
Taking a long hot shower helped clear his head a little, and throwing up while
still in there, leaning against the shower tiles as he heaved and retched
helped him feel even better. By the time he stepped out of the bathroom wearing
a thick blue bathrobe, his head was clearer... much too clear actually.
 
Sam sat on the bed while Dean was in the shower. He didn't make a move to
remove his clothes. He would not have sex with Dean tonight, and thankfully
Dean didn't seem to be up for it, considering how his face had switched from
white to green. It was weird... Sam had attended to orgies when his client had
wanted, but the point was that Sam had been there too. Stupid, yes, but Sam
couldn't help it. His client had left him out, like he wasn't needed, like
there was something Sam couldn't give him.
 
Sam heard Dean throwing up in the shower and hoped it made him feel better. He
honestly hoped so, because Dean was a nice guy, and Sam's own feelings towards
him had no right to ever reach the surface. They were what they were. A rented
whore and a guy who had bought him. Pure and simple. It shouldn't hurt as much
as it did.
 
"Did Gordon try anything?" Dean asked Sam, head still a little light but his
thoughts were running linear again instead of in a jumble. His shoulder was
also starting to smart but it was nothing he couldn't have handled.
 
"He always tries something, you know that. Too bad for him that I'm not barely
legal and scared out of my life." Sam smiled joylessly.
 
Fine, there had been a time like that too, but those days were over. For good.
 
Dean crawled into bed, leaning in for a kiss. Sam kissed him but it was just a
light brush of lips, no heat in it, and right that moment Sam realized that in
some level he felt hurt, and that the sooner this cruise would be over, the
better. Dean knew something was off the moment Sam's lips brushed his. It
wasn't that Sam didn't kiss him back properly or anything, it just felt like
there was something wrong, like Sam was thinking too hard. Dean felt the need
to ask him about it but he figured it was probably Gordon who had thrown Sam
off balance. His conclusion also made sense considering Gordon's parting words
to them and then Sam's reluctance to go to dinner. Shifting on the bed, Dean
turned to look at Sam's face, noting the somewhat upset expression. He pressed
a palm against one warm, soft cheek, slight stubble scratching against his
skin.
 
Sam didn't pull away when Dean touched his cheek, but there were no denying
that something had changed, no matter how hard Sam tried to deny it, and the
only thing he wanted to do was to bang his head against something hard.
"Hey."Dean said softly, attempting to catch those beautiful brown eyes. "If you
want, I can go get you some dinner. You won't have to see Gordon."
Unconsciously, he stared at Sam's features, realizing that he may have gone and
fucked around earlier, but it did nothing for the warmth that spread inside him
every time he was with Sam. He was well and truly fucked if he went and fell in
love with his escort.
 
"It's not about Gordon. Trust me, I have my ways to handle that guy." Sam
sighed. "I'm just really not hungry, that's all."
 
Sam was quiet for a while.
 
"Let's just go to sleep, okay?"
 
"What's wrong then?" Dean asked, confused. He pulled his hand away, putting it
in his lap instead, fiddling with the soft fleece of his bathrobe. "Something's
definitely wrong. But I don't know what it is. Did I hurt you earlier? In the
jacuzzi?" Dean frowned, thinking back but he didn't think he had. Sam had
seemed to enjoy it as much as he had... but otherwise he didn't know why Sam
would be feeling so down.
 
"No." Sam said. "You didn't hurt me. It was amazing and I liked it."
 
"Come on, talk to me, baby." Dean said softly, the endearment slipping out most
likely unnoticed but Sam noticed it and for some reason it only made him feel
irritated.
 
"I don't think you hired me for talking." Sam said quietly. "Nothing's wrong,
really. I just think that after tonight it's best that we go back wearing
condoms because I don't know what exactly you did tonight but I have a pretty
good idea, and my career depends of how healthy and clean I am. No offense.
Just business."
 
Dean's back straightened, putting an extra few inches between them at Sam's
words. Well... that really put him in his place. Dean wanted to fight, because
now he knew how close it felt to be inside Sam, skin to skin without any rubber
between them... and now Sam wanted them to go back to where they were before.
He wanted to tell Sam he had worn a condom when he fucked that toy, knowing
that he couldn't risk getting an STD... but somehow it felt too much like
defending himself and Dean Winchester never defended himself.
 
It also reminded him that Sam was here because of the money, because of
business and it was good that he remembered that. And once this was done, Sam
would go back to fucking other people, taking money from them, sucking them off
and writhing under them and moaning and begging for release. Dean was nothing
more than a John to him.
 
"Alright then." Dean said, voice hard. He got up, dropping his bathrobe and
pulling on his clothes. "I'll see you in a little bit." He muttered before
heading out. He wanted to get dinner... or rather, he wanted to be out of the
room for the moment so he may as well have dinner. Maybe later, after Dean had
calmed down a bit, he won't go back and say something stupid.
 
Oddly, Sam's comment about using condoms again felt like it had a deeper
meaning than what it seemed on the surface. It was like a step back, putting
barriers between them, like they were going from an easy relationship to
something strained and strange again. And dammit! Dean was not a sap and these
kinds of thoughts always gave him a headache. So he'd just sit there in the
restaurant and enjoy his salmon entree because he liked salmon and thoughts of
Sam would not mess with his favorite fish.
 
Sam didn't say anything when Dean left, just sat on the bed and kept his mind
blank. A while after Dean had left, there was a knock on the door before it
opened and Sam saw a delivery guy with a huge bouquet of flowers.
 
"Flowers for Samuel Daniels." The delivery guy said, a middle-aged balding man.
"And you have a card too." He handed the card to Sam while his boys moved all
the flowers into the room. When they left, Sam took the card and read it.
 
'I guessed you won't be at dinner tonight, so here's something to let you know
I don't give up easy. By the time this cruise ends, I'll have you standing
beside me. That's a promise. -G'
 
Gordon.
 
Suddenly Sam felt angry. Gordon treated him like a piece of meat that could be
bought and sold without even asking Sam's opinion. He took the flowers from the
vase and tore them to shreds, looked at the mess he had made for a while and
then swiped the empty vase from the table to the floor. It didn't break. Good.
Shards of glass would have been a bitch to get out of the fluffy carpet.
 
Sam still felt like throwing things but controlled himself, sat back down on
the bed and looked at the card. Then he put it in an ashtray on the bedside
table and set it on fire with the cabin's complimentary matches and watched
with satisfaction as the paper turned black and soon there were nothing but a
pile of ash. But still he was angry.
 
Dean.
 
Dean had looked weird when Sam had told him they would use protection again
from now on, like he was hurt or something. What was Sam supposed to do? Just
take Dean's word for that he had used a condom with whoever he had fucked after
making his quick leave from the jacuzzi? Sam had learned long ago that words
meant nothing, and taking someone's word for it was stupid and just begging for
trouble.
 
Sam closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again, he felt
somewhat calmer. So he changed his clothes to dark denim jeans, a white dress
shirt, leaving two of the top buttons open -fuck decency and fancy suits- and
left the cabin, heading towards the bar.
 
And after his third vodka on rocks he felt much better.
 
Done eating, Dean downed a glass of wine to keep his hangover at bay and headed
back to his suite. As soon as he entered he saw the mess of flowers on the
floor and then vase toppled over.
 
We had flowers in the room? Dean wondered for a moment but then shook his head,
noting that the destroyed state of them was more important than the fact that
they existed at all. There were also ashes in the ashtray but Dean didn't give
much thought to them. He was more focused on the fact that Sam was nowhere to
be seen. Worried now, Dean went back out of the room, checking the deck first
for him and then the lounge, the restaurant, the ballroom and then the bar. He
found Sam sitting at the bar, long, lean body folded forwards and Dean went to
his side, climbing up on the bar stool next to him.
 
Sam sensed someone sitting on the barstool next to him, and the scent was so
familiar already he didn't have to look to know who it was.
 
"Everything alright?" Dean asked, voice loud so that he could be heard over the
ruckus of the people cheering a football game on. Finally Sam turned to look at
Dean.
 
"No." He simply said. "I hate football. Everyone's chasing the same ball and
hurting each other in the process. So yeah, I hate football." Dean frowned,
sensing that there was a deeper meaning behind Sam's words but he never could
read between the lines. "You know, I hate flowers too.” Sam continued. “Also, I
hate being just a piece of meat to everyone." Sam waved to the bartender to
bring another vodka. And right there? Bingo. That was the deeper meaning behind
Sam's words and Dean gave himself a mental pat on the back for seeing it. Or
not. It had been pretty much spelled out for him anyway.
 
Dean shrugged, holding up a finger to the bartender who nodded, sliding him a
beer. "Hey, don't worry about it, alright?" Dean said, putting one hand on
Sam's shoulder. "For the next month, you're only one person's piece of meat."
He winked at Sam, taking a long sip of his beer. Sam almost laughed. It didn't
matter if he was just one person's piece of meat; he was still only a piece of
meat. But what had he expected anyway? That Dean would be different? Or, should
he say, like his other clients who at least didn't fuck around with other
people when they had Sam? Obviously Sam wasn't good enough after all, and Dean
had just said it. Confirmed it.
 
Sam downed the vodka at once and decided that four was enough. He wasn't drunk
yet, but he knew that more he drank, the worse his mood would get. So he made a
refusing gesture when the bartender came towards him to fill his glass again
and instead asked for a glass of ice water.
 
"Thanks." Sam said when he had a cold glass in front of him. He took a sip but
the water tasted bad. Or maybe it wasn't the water, maybe Sam just had a bad
taste in his mouth.
 
"Any plans for tonight?" Sam asked Dean casually, but his voice was quite
blank. "Have a date or something? I think I'll just head to bed early." Sam
stood up and left the almost untouched glass on the counter. "Good night Dean."
Dean got up too, abandoning his beer and reaching out to grab Sam's hand before
he left. "No date." Dean said with a frown. Why would Sam even ask him that?
"I'll come with." Dean said, keeping his hand gripping tightly onto Sam's as
they headed back to their suite.
 
Sam wasn't surprised when Dean ran right after him and almost dragged him
inside the suite. Once inside, Dean locked the door behind them, turning the
lights down so that the entire room was cast in a warm low light. "Why'd you
ask me about the date, Sam?" Dean asked and Sam couldn't help but smile a
little.
 
"I'm a hooker, Dean." He said, looking straight in Dean's eyes. "One of the
benefits of this job is that eventually some senses grow really high. Like
smelling. And you? After leaving the jacuzzi with such a rush... When you came
back, I noticed two different scents. Perfume and come. I know how your come
smells like. It wasn't yours." Sam started unbuttoning his shirt, planning on
taking a shower. Dean watched Sam unbutton his shirt, face flushing with shame
because even if it wasn't true, he felt like he had gotten caught cheating on
his boyfriend. "It's none of my business, you have no obligations to me, but
when my former clients wanted to have group sex, I was always invited."
 
Sam shrugged the shirt off and proceeded to unbutton his fly. "So, this was the
first time I was left out. But don't worry, like I said you don't owe me any
explanations. You're free to do what you want. I'm gonna take a shower now.
Forget everything I said. It was stupid anyway." Strangely, Sam's little tirade
made Dean hope that it was because Sam was jealous, or hurt, or something and
not because he was not invited, but because Dean fucked around. He hoped that
maybe Sam liked him back too... enough to feel hurt when left behind.
 
"It's not stupid." Dean said, and Sam looked at him briefly before stripping
off his jeans and socks. "And I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." Dean said
softly, shedding his own jacket and shirt as he stepped towards Sam. "I was
being stupid too... really, I won't do it again." Dean said and Sam couldn't
help but wonder where was this coming from. Sam was a hooker, a piece of meat,
Dean had said those both things himself. Then Dean was close, Sam could feel
the heat radiating from Dean's body. "Just give me a kiss?" Dean asked with a
smirk, pressing one palm against Sam's chest.
 
"Your money. I'll do whatever you ask me to do." Sam said before pressing his
lips against Dean's, hard, before pulling away. "I'm your piece of meat after
all. And you don't have to be sorry. It's not your fault if I'm not enough for
you."
 
Dean watched Sam go into the bathroom, Sam's words ringing in his ears. He was
now sure more than ever that Sam wasn't upset about being left out, but more
about the fact that Dean had fucked around. Dean took off his pants and boxers,
getting into bed and getting comfortable as he listened to the shower. His lips
tingled with the force of Sam's kiss and knew that Sam felt something for him.
There was no way Sam would be this hurt otherwise. He waited for Sam to come
out of the shower, wondering what he should do with the knowledge of Sam's
feelings. He wondered if he was maybe reading too much into it, and if he was
going to make a fool of himself... and then he wondered if what he thought was
true, and how would he go about things if it was. If he asked Sam to be his
boyfriend and Sam agreed... would he still have to pay him? And if he didn't,
would Sam hate him for it? Questions like that swirled in his mind until his
head was aching dully.
 
Sam tried to clear is mind in the shower, but his thoughts were like a
whirlwind, going around with a speed of light and he couldn't quite get a hold
of them. Finally he gave up, closed the tab and stepped out of the shower,
wrapped a towel around his hips and entered the suite.
 
Dean was in bed, and Sam didn't know how to react, so he decided that it was
best to just act normal.
 
"Hey Sam." Dean said softly, smiling warmly at him. But Dean's next question
threw him off the fragile mental balance he had managed to achieve. "Are you
jealous?" He asked blankly, and Sam had no idea how to answer. But since Dean
was being straight with him, Sam decided it was the least he could do too.
 
"I think I'm getting emotionally involved with you." Sam laughed a little. "I
have broken my number one rule... Never get emotionally attached." Then he
sighed. "After this cruise... I'm quitting. Find myself a job. Shouldn't be
that hard with my degrees." God, why was he talking about this to Dean??
 
"So, yes." Sam said after a pause. "I am jealous. I understand if that makes
you feel uncomfortable, and I understand if you want to revoke our contract."
 
"Dude, you nuts?!" Dean said with a laugh, reaching out and grabbing Sam's
hand, tugging him onto the bed so quick Sam sprawled all over it. Before Sam
could recover, Dean was climbing on top of him, pushing his legs open and lying
down between them, his hips pressing against Sam's groin through the blanket
and the towel. He leaned down, pressing his lips against Sam's in a small kiss,
just lips and no tongue.
 
Pulling away, he put his hands on either side of Sam and looked down on him.
"See, since earlier today I've been angsting about letting you go in three
weeks time. So your emotional involvement? Is not entirely one-sided." Dean
said, bending down to nuzzle Sam's damp ear.
 
Dean's laugh took Sam by surprise. And the next thing he realized was that he
was on the bed, sprawled all over it. And that Dean was on top of him, pushing
his legs open and lying down between them. Sam's heart started beating faster,
a flicker of hope coming alive inside him but he refused to believe... to
wish...
Sam gasped, as much of a surprise of that revelation as of the feelings of
Dean's skin touching him caused in him.
 
Sam reached down between them, tore the sheet and the towel away and Dean
gasped as their skin came into contact with each other. Dean's cock was against
Sam's, and Dean felt Sam hardening against him, making him harden fully and
sparks of pleasure course through him at the contact.
 
"I must admit..." Sam started. "You really swiped my feet from under me.
Literally."
 
Dean grinned, rolling his hips slightly to brush against Sam's cock more. "Not
your fault." Dean groaned, pressing harder against Sam, happy to just rut
against him until they both came. "Very few people are capable of resisting
me."
Sam threw his head back, feeling their cocks slip in their precome, painting
their bellies in shiny trails. "You're... cocky. And I'm still mad at you,
because...” Sam was finally letting himself admit his feelings, but it was so
very hard to think when Dean was skin to skin with him. ”I was so fucking
jealo... nghh. Oh yes, fuck, right there..."
 
It felt so good, just grinding against each other, rolling and rocking like
they had all the time in the world and nothing else existed but them. Sam
rolled his hips, pushed them up slightly and writhed under Dean, head still
thrown back and eyes closed. This had to be a dream. Dean looked down at Sam,
watching the way he threw his head back and moaned and writhed under him. Dean
suddenly thought of having this beyond the end of the month, coming home to Sam
waiting for him, sleeping curled up around him, waking him up with kisses and
the spark of tenderness and white heat the images provoked in him made him
grind down harder, pushing to make it as good for Sam as possible. The lure of
Sam's bare neck was too much and Dean folded down, latching onto the soft skin
and pressing a sucking, bruising kiss on it. He thrusted harder, pushing for
the orgasm that felt so close... He pushed his hands under Sam's ass, squeezing
the firm muscle and forcing them closer together. Lips, teeth and tongue
continued to mark Sam while they moved together, bruises lining Sam's throat,
his collarbone, his chest. Sam knew that Dean's mouth was probably leaving
bruises but he didn't care because suddenly Dean was thrusting harder, and his
hands were on Sam's ass squeezing and making him whimper as the action set his
belly on fire and he was close to coming. Dean's lips and teeth and tongue
continued their path along Sam's skin, marking and bruising and Sam gasped as
the pressure built higher and higher.
 
And then Dean's mouth was on his, tongue inside his mouth, fucking it, and when
Dean removed one hand from Sam's ass and curled his fingers around both their
erections, Sam was gone. He was falling, and he wanted to keep falling forever
and ever and ever... Sam's mouth opened into a silent scream when he came, and
through the insane pleasure he felt Dean's cock pulsing against his own which
only made his orgasm last longer. Finally they were just a mess of tangled
limps, sweat and come, and the room was filled with primitive smell of sex. Sam
wondered if he had ever smelled anything better.
 
"Dude, I am so glad I got lost that night." Dean muttered as he flopped
forward, not even caring about the mess between them as he nuzzled his nose
into Sam's damp neck and shoulder. Sam turned his head a little so that he
could look Dean in the eyes.
 
"Yeah, me too..." He whispered against Dean's lips. "Me too." Then he kissed
Dean gently, the lethargy taking over him. Sam closed his eyes and was asleep
in a minute.
***** New Beginnings, Long Hidden Secrets *****
Dean fell into a deep sleep, lying halfway on the bed in one of the least
comfortable positions but Sam's body tangled with his own kept him from wanting
to move. By the time he woke up the next morning, he felt itchy and gross and
knew Sam wouldn't be feeling that much better.
 
He slowly untangled himself from Sam, pressing a soft kiss on one sculpted
cheekbone before heading to the bathroom, scratching at the dried come on his
stomach. He took a long, hot shower, grinning at himself through the whole
thing at the thought of his -boyfriend?- sleeping in the bedroom outside. The
last time Dean had a boyfriend he had been in university, curious and nervous
and attracted to the TA. He had taught him everything he knew about sex, but it
had ended badly and Dean had ended up busy with work and resorted to one night
stands and escorts ever since then.
And now he had a boyfriend, at least he thought so. Who was his escort but not
anymore. It was a strange thought... and confusing.
 
Dean had promised him a hundred grand... but would Sam even take it anymore?
Would he be insulted if Dean offered the money?
 
Annoyed at having ruined a warm moment with his ceaseless thinking, Dean got
out of the shower, tying a thick plush towel around his waist before heading
out. "Morning sunshine!" Dean called loudly, snapping the towel he had been
drying his hair with on Sam's naked ass, watching the firm muscle twitch at the
impact.
"Mgh!" Sam let out a protesting sound when something wet snapped against his
ass. He raised his head from the pillow, brown shaggy hair all over his face
and noticed a wet towel and then shower-fresh Dean, a lazy smile spreading to
his face. "Spanking, huh?" Sam grinned. "Kinky..."
 
Then he noticed the uncomfortable feeling on his belly and scratched it, being
rewarded with dried, chipping come. "Hmmm." Sam raised his brow. "I think I
should clean up before breakfast..." He got up naked, still scratching his
belly. "Damn, this thing itches..." He gave Dean a gentle kiss before
disappearing to the bathroom and taking a shower until he was squeaky clean. He
rubbed himself dry with a towel and padded back to the suite, still naked.
Dean had dressed up and was checking his email on his laptop when Sam came out
of the bathroom, naked. Dean swallowed, eyes riveted on the expanse of smooth
golden skin. Damn, but Dean was having trouble thinking 'mine' when he saw Sam.
 
"So, what's the schedule for today?" Sam asked but wasn't really that
interested. Instead he walked to Dean, pressed his naked body against him and
whispered against Dean's lips: "Damn, I'm crazy about you..."
Grabbing Sam's hips, Dean pulled him closer and kissed those sinful lips,
nipping at the lower one once they broke apart. "I wanna go outside, show you
off." Dean muttered, pressing small, quick kisses to Sam's lips. "Gonna
introduce you as my boyfriend rather than my escort." Dean said with a grin,
kissing Sam's lips again and Sam smiled against Dean's lips.
 
"Really?" Sam asked when they finally pulled apart. "You mean... you actually
mean you want to be with me? Like... for real?" Sam didn't have it in him to
even wait for an answer, it was clearly visible in Dean's deep green eyes. Dean
started saying something but Sam didn't give him a chance to answer, instead
cupping Dean's face and kissing him before looking deep into his eyes. Dean
felt himself get lost in Sam's hazel eyes for a moment, feeling a lot like a
schoolgirl with her first crush and feeling silly for it even as the emotions
made him giddy with excitement.
 
"I really meant it when I said I'm gonna quit. No more hustling." Sam placed
another kiss on Dean's lips. Dean smiled against Sam's lips, because he had
been worrying about Sam being with other men while being with him and he didn't
think he could do it. He was never one to be able to share and his possessive,
borderline obsessive, tendencies had messed up more than one relationship.
 
"No one but you anymore..." He whispered against Dean's lips. "No one else,
ever again."
 
"Sounds perfect." Dean grinned before pulling away and smacking Sam's ass. "Now
get dressed. Breakfast, then we'll head down to the bow. There's supposed to be
an all day party going on there. We just have to show up there, mingle, then
we're free to spend the day as we like." Dean said, eyes still stuck to Sam's
lean chest and the trail of dark hair going down his navel to the thick bush
nestling Sam's soft cock. Fuck, Dean was fucking whipped.
Sam got dressed and smiled at Dean before they exited the suite. Sam really
wasn't that fond of large groups, but seeing the happy look on Dean's face that
reflected his own, Sam wasn't going to let his antisocial characteristics ruin
the mood.
 
He had a boyfriend. He wasn't just a hooker anymore. He was in love, which was
crazy considering that they hadn't even met that long ago and everything had
happened that fast, but maybe some things were meant to be. And Dean wanted
him. Even when he knew about Sam's past, he still wanted him. It was almost
good to be true.
 
Then Sam realized that Dean didn't know everything. Dean didn't know about the
nights spent under bridges. He didn't know about... other things as well. For a
moment Sam was scared. If, and when Dean would find out -because a relationship
based on lies would never work- would Dean still want him, or would he get rid
of Sam as fast as he could?
 
Sam forced the thoughts somewhere back of his mind. He would tell Dean
everything when the time was right. Now it wasn't. There were people to see, a
party to attend, and him and Dean were a real couple now, and Sam decided that
tonight nothing could destroy his happiness.
 
"I think I love you." Sam whispered against Dean's ear when they entered the
group of people. Dean nearly stumbled at the words. "A lot." Sam added and Dean
turned to look at him, surprise and shock and affection in his gaze because no
one other than his mother had said those words to him and he didn't think his
mother counted.
Dean smiled, this time lacking his usual cockiness. He slipped an arm around
Sam's waist and pulled him close, reaching up to kiss Sam's cheek in answer
before leading them both to a table. "Plain waffles, whipped cream, syrup on
the side thanks." Dean opened his mouth to say something when he saw Gordon
show up, his toy trailing behind him, head bowed, eyes darkened, limping. Dean
felt instantly bad and kind of outraged at the way the boy flinched everytime
Gordon said something to him. He couldn't be older than eighteen, thin and
bruised, looking like he was going to keel over and pass out any moment.
Sam ordered fruit salad, toast and tea and was just about to start eating when
Dean's voice caught his attention.
 
"Gordon makes me sick." Dean muttered and Sam turned around to see Gordon and
Ben entering the breakfast lounge, and the kid looked so miserable Sam had to
gather all his willpower to NOT get up and beat the living shit out of Gordon.
 
"Yeah, me too." Sam said quietly, appetite gone. "The way he treats Ben..." Sam
looked up to meet Dean's eyes. "I talked to the kid last night. He's angry,
closed and hurt, and if that goes on..." Sam sighed deep. "Those feelings will
kill him if Gordon doesn't do it first." Sam looked at Ben again. "I used
to..." He closed his mouth. '...be like him.' "I used to know someone like
him." He said instead and looked back to Dean. "I'm not really hungry."
"Ben..." Dean muttered, finally having a name to put with that face. Dean
noticed the way Sam's eyes darkened as he talked about this person he used to
know and Dean reached out, cupping one of Sam's cheeks with his palm and just
smiling at him a little to get him to feel better. One day he'll ask him about
his past, but not yet because it was clearly too sore of a subject.
 
Across from Sam he could see Gordon who had now noticed them. He also saw the
way he seemed to zone in on the way Dean was touching Sam. Next thing he knew,
Gordon was getting up, barking 'Stay' at Ben loudly enough that they could hear
him before making his way to them. Tensing, Dean pulled his hand away, readying
himself for another battle of wits.
 
"Are you sober or do we have to postpone this conversation for another time?"
Gordon asked, grabbing a chair from another table and pulling it to their,
sitting down on it.
 
"Fuck off." Dean said easily, sipping his coffee.
 
"See the thing is, I have to let you know I really like Sam here." Gordon
started and Dean ignored him, instead proceeding to steal a piece of fruit from
Sam's plate. "And I'm pretty sure Sam likes me back as well." Gordon said with
a sly smile and Dean raised an eyebrow. Seriously, did Gordon think he'd
believe him?
 
"Is that so?" Dean said, amusement written clearly on his face.
 
"So I'd really appreciate it if you'd stand back and let Sam be my escort for
the rest of the cruise. You can have my escort in exchange, I don't
particularly care for him but he sucks like his life depends on it." Gordon
offered and Dean was torn between the ridiculousness of the offer and horror at
the way Gordon so easily offered to exchange human beings like trading cards.
Sam watched curiously the exchange of words between Dean and Gordon, and he was
proud of Dean who was calm and just enough confident to appear so goddamn sexy
that Sam wanted to tear his clothes off right then and there -and of course
make Gordon confused. Not confused enough to offer to buy Sam like a dog or
something. Sam sighed. Gordon really was a piece of work, and not of a good
kind.
"Doesn't matter what I say. Sam's his own person." Dean looked up at Sam and
smiled warmly at him. "It's up to him who he wants to be with for the rest of
the cruise. So ask him. Nicely." Dean said, just the tiniest bit of a threat in
his voice as he looked at Gordon again.
 
Gordon was taken back, not really knowing what was going on, staring at Dean
and Sam in confusion but seemed to recover quite fast.
 
"Perfect." Gordon said, leaning forward and kissing Sam's neck. "Let's go to my
room then. Leave Winchester to have fun with Ben." He whispered into Sam's ear
loud enough that Dean could hear. Dean's fists clenched, teeth gritting as he
reached forward and pulled Gordon back.
 
"Ask him. From far away." Dean growled.
 
"Let's go to my room then, Sam. I'll pay you three times what Winchester is
giving you, and a cock that's twice his size I bet." Gordon winked and Dean
growled again, tensing.
 
Sam leaned back in his chair, took his napkin and wiped the spot where Gordon
had kissed him like there was drool of some sick animal. Then he put the napkin
down with practiced ease and looked at Gordon. "No." He simply said, no heat in
his voice even when he wanted to rip Gordon to shreds. "See, it's not about the
money. You could pay me all the money in the world, and I'd still say no. Know
why? I don't give a rat's ass about your cock or the size of it. Dean is giving
me something you never could, and I'm not even trying to explain what that is
because I don't think it even exists in your world." He sighed. "You know how I
know that? Look at Ben. Yes, that's his name if you have forgot it already or
if you even ever asked it. The way you treat others defines who you are, and I
think I have figured you out pretty well. So stop hurting him. If there's any
humanity left in you, just let the boy go and find yourself someone who can
take it. Okay?"
 
Dean grinned as Sam told Gordon off, enjoying himself thoroughly at the
gobsmacked expression on his face.
 
"I think I'd like to go to the deck and have some fresh air. Wanna come with me
baby?" Sam asked Dean who grinned wider at the endearment. Getting up, Dean
grabbed Sam and gave him a long, soft kiss, showing Gordon that their
relationship wasn't that of a boss and employee anymore.
 
Behind them Gordon's eyes narrowed. This was officially a war, and Gordon
wasn't one who took losing well. Grumbling, he turned around and went to his
own table, grabbing Ben's arm and dragging him off. Dean worried for a moment
that Gordon would take out his anger on the poor boy and vowed to do something
about it. Somehow he had to get Ben out of that contract.
"Know why Gordon hates me so much?" Dean said once they went to the deck, the
bright sunlight getting rid of the oppressive thoughts from before. He took
Sam's hand and led them to the benches lining the balcony. Below them they had
an awesome view of the swimming pool and the ocean beyond. Sam looked at him,
curious. He had sensed the hostility between those two since the day one, but
he had never quite understood it. All these people competed with each other,
but at least they acted civilized, no matter what kind of feelings were boiling
underneath. Gordon's hatred was so... overt. Sam gave Dean time, not pushing
him to talk.
 
"When I was interning under him in my fourth year of business school, he
propositioned me." Dean shrugged. "I was in Ben's place for about... two weeks.
The first time he hit me, I quit. In answer, he failed me on my internship. But
my professor was a kind man and turned that fail into a footnote on my
transcript. Fast forward five years, and I own my own business and can compete
with Gordon. Still pisses him off that I got away." Dean said easily, a hint of
pride in his voice.
 
Sam was shocked. He couldn't imagine Dean in that position, not this Dean who
was strong, confident, and absolutely gorgeous.
 
"Gordon's a bit of a sore loser. In my case, he lost. So he takes every
opportunity he gets to show me how I'm still inferior to him. That's pretty
much the only reason he throws these cruise parties. If I refuse, I pretty much
admit I'm scared of him. Hell if I do that." Dean said, eyes trained on the
seagulls flying past them in the bright blue sky. Suddenly Sam felt so intense
hatred towards Gordon that it scared him. He had to take a couple of deep
breaths to calm himself down.
 
And somehow, now that Dean had told him that, Sam felt like he could tell about
his own dark past. It was much darker than Dean's, filled with black holes and
sleepless nights, but there was still one thing in common. They had both been
hurt, and somehow that knowledge made Sam feel closer to Dean than ever.
 
"I have my past as well." Sam said quietly. A part of him wanted to just shut
his mouth and forget everything, but Dean had a right to know. And if after
that Dean wouldn't want him, it was still better than living in a lie. "I can
tell you not all of it is good. Some if might even make you feel sick. It makes
me sick sometimes..." Sam avoided Dean's eyes. He had almost thought that the
shame he felt was long gone, but then again, he had never tried to tell about
this to someone he loved. "But if you still wanna hear... I think you have a
right to know."
***** Saved From Myself *****
Dean ran his fingers through Sam's hair, enjoying the feel of the soft strands
slipping through his fingers.
 
"I didn't tell you about Gordon to force you to tell me about yourself." Dean
said, voice quiet. "Tell me when you want to tell me. I don't want to force
you. I just wanted you to know why Gordon is so hell bent on making our lives
miserable. Knowledge is power and all that crap." Dean said with a small smile.
 
"We have all the time in the world. Tell me now or tell me six months from now.
Just do it on your own time." Dean patted Sam's hand, leaving his hand on top
of Sam's. "No pressure."
Sam smiled a little. "In six months? By then I'd be so in love with you that if
you after hearing the truth would want to get rid of me... It would be like a
heart surgery without anesthesia." Dean grinned at that because really, anyone
would grin after being told that. Sam took a deep breath. "No, it's better that
I'll tell you now, and then you can make your own conclusions and decisions."
Dean nodded, not saying anything and let Sam continue. Sam was quiet for a long
time... enough that Dean started thinking he wouldn't continue but then Sam
started talking.
 
"You already know that my parents died when I was really young. I hardly
remember them. Actually, if I didn't have photographs I don't think I'd even
know what they looked like." Sam licked his dry lips. "Those were the one
things I kept, even the times I had nothing else." Dean just listened, letting
Sam talk.
Sam took another pause. This was harder than he had thought.
"When I said that Ben reminds me of someone I used to know... The truth is that
he reminds me of myself when I was his age. Scared, hurt, all alone. Angry for
the whole world." Dean froze, thinking of Ben and the way he was... so tired
and exhausted and bruised... putting Sam there made Dean's chest hurt. Sam knew
that there was no backing off now, so he just let the words out. "I was raised
in a foster home. Couple of years, it was okay. Then the beatings started. I
ran away when I was twelve. Hitchhiked as far as I could go, lived in a street.
It wasn't life, but it was better than the constant fear, never knowing when
the door of your room will open in the middle of the night... And I survived.
Against all odds, I survived."
 
"Oh god, Sam..." Dean whispered, horrified about what Sam had gone through.
"I was fourteen when I got raped." Dean sucked in a shocked breath. "In a dirty
alley after taking so much heroin I was pretty much unconscious. Thank God for
small mercies, because the drug numbed me so much I barely felt a thing. At
least until the next morning. I was bleeding, hurt, but too scared to go to any
clinic. I was afraid that the social services would find me and toss me back to
a foster home. So I found an abandoned house, barricaded myself in there and
shivered with fever. After I recovered, I decided to take matters to my own
hands. I was fourteen, but I realized that sex is a powerful weapon and can be
bought and sold like groceries." Sam smiled but there was no joy in it and Dean
tightened his hold on Sam's hand. "Hustling made sure that I got my daily dose
of smack. I didn't want to feel a thing, and heroin made that possible. I was
like a wild animal, didn't trust anyone, carried a knife around wherever I went
and trust me, I was ready to use it. Then something happened. An old man
approached me. I thought he was way too old for me, but I needed my dose so I
went with him. He brought me into a big house that looked like a palace to me.
And his wife was there. His wife...” Sam smiled a tiny sad smile. “A sweet,
kind woman. I thought she was an angel. And then I thought that they just
wanted to have threesome with some underage runaway when they just told me to
take of my clothes and take a hot bath, bur a bath sounded so good I was ready
to do anything. I was weak, barely alive, couldn't even move properly so the
woman washed me, gently, and I wondered if this was what it would feel like to
have a mother. Someone who loves you, no matter how terrible you are..." Sam's
voice broke. Dean couldn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. In the
face of the kind of pain Sam went through, words just suddenly didn't seem
enough. They felt cheap and meaningless.
 
"They tugged me to bed and I slept for almost two days. The withdrawal lasted
over two weeks and I was horrible to them. I screamed and cursed and said all
kinds of awful things, but they just took care of me. Fed me, gave me clean
clothes, hugged me and calmed me down when I woke up in the middle of the night
screaming.." Sam smiled. "They saved my life." Dean swallowed, working past the
knot in his throat.
 
Sam stared at the distance for a while. "The man, William Travis, was a
professor. He got me a stipend to a school, and I owe him so much. And to
Martha, his wife who was like a mother I never had. They treated me like I was
their own son." A tear fell down Sam's cheek. "They died in a car accident a
week after I graduated. I miss them."
 
After that Sam went silent.
 
"So that's it." Sam finally said, quietly, eyes dry again. "The story of my
life."
 
Dean used their held hands to pull Sam close, wrapping an arm around Sam's
shoulder and pressing a kiss to his hair. "It's over now. I'll take care of
you." Dean said softly. "And nothing bad will happen to you as long as I'm
around. I promise."
Sam closed his eyes and leaned against Dean. He had told Dean, and Dean was
still there, not appalled, not disgusted, but instead comforting him, and it
felt so good Sam wanted to cry. He wanted to cry for the parents he had never
knew, and for the couple that had taken him into their house and gave him a new
family and a new life. And he wanted to cry because all those people were dead.
 
And in some level he wanted to cry for himself, because now, after saying
things out loud the pain he had denied for years was suddenly back, and the
memories... He would have done everything to make them go away.
 
But Dean was with him, and Sam wanted to cry because of that too, not because
he was sad, but because he was so relieved, and for a first time in a long time
he was happy. Sam turned his face, facing Dean. "I love you." He said quietly.
"And I believe you." He placed a soft kiss to Dean's lips. "You know what? The
past is gone. Today is the first day of my life and I want to share it with
you. And the next day and the next... If only you'll have me."
Dean smiled against Sam's lips, weirded out a little over how easy it was to be
sappy with Sam... how natural it felt to say the words he had always considered
corny and cheesy and over the top. "Wouldn't have it any other way, Sammy."
Dean grinned. "I had plans ya know?" Dean dropped his voice to a conspiring
whisper. "I was going to buy you out for the next year. But it was kind of
detrimental to my finances since rich or not, I don't make a hundred grand in
profit every month." Dean grinned. "So I had decided to keep that up for
like... a year, have you fall madly in love with me and then I'll just have you
move in. Then my second plan was to follow you around and scare off all your
Johns until you only come to me and make you fall in love with me and then make
you move in with me." Dean said with a laugh, patting Sam's hair and pulling
back. "I shouldn't have underestimated my own charm. Didn't even need to stalk
you! So easy." Dean teased, kissing Sam's nose.
The more Dean talked, the wider the grin on Sam's face spread.
 
"You're a cocky sonofabitch, you know that?" Sam laughed. "Maybe that's why I
love you so much. And yeah, that charm of yours is pretty irresistible." Sam's
eyes turned mischievous. "You think we'll have a time for a quickie? I don't
think anyone would notice if we disappeared for few minutes..." Then the rest
of what Dean had said filtered in and Sam was stunned. "You... You want me to
move in with you? Like... seriously?"
 
"Of course you're going to move in." Dean stated, not even a question. "Once we
get back, we'll head to your place so you can grab everything you need, and
then you'll continue living with me the way you've been for the past ten-
fifteen days. No way am I letting you out of my sight. You already have your
own keycard to the penthouse. Why wouldn't you move in?" Dean huffed, as if the
very idea that Sam would refuse was ridiculous. And it was. Sam wanted to move
in with Dean, he wanted to sleep next to Dean every night, have sex with him,
cook for him and just curl together on Dean's sofa and watch stupid movies and
oh God he was turning into a chick.
 
"I'm already too used to having you sleep beside me. Anything else is
unacceptable." Dean grinned, grabbing Sam's hand and standing up. He pulled Sam
close, his back to Dean's chest as he turned him around so he could face the
busy pool below them. "See the pool?" Dean whispered into Sam's ear and the hot
breath against Sam's skin made him shiver. "Tonight, after everyone's asleep,
I'm bringing you out here and I'll fuck you in the pool... watch you fall apart
on my fingers and tongue and cock... flushed and begging for the world to see."
He licked Sam's ear lightly, pushing his hips against the curve of Sam's ass
and grinding his rapidly hardening cock against it. Sam moaned quietly and
pressed his ass even tighter against Dean's cock, grinding against it. "I can
just imagine you... legs spread wide open... your cock and your quivering hole
exposed for anyone who's lucky enough to be around right then... maybe someone
will be watching... seeing how I lick you open..."
 
Dean's words made Sam hard and aching in seconds, and he didn't mind the idea
of Dean pulling his pants down right then and there and fucking him right there
against the railing. His breaths came out hard and fast, arousal so strong it
hurt.
 
Dean reached down and squeezed Sam's ass, groaning. "Noticed or not, we need
that quickie." He muttered, biting Sam's earlobe and tugging at it.
 
"Yeah, I noticed..." Sam whispered hoarsely. "Come on." He grabbed Dean's hand
and started leading him down the stairs until they were in a dark, noisy engine
room. Sam grinned wickedly. "I wanna get dirty. Come on, show me what you
got..." He pulled Dean against him and ground his hips against Dean's, their
hard cocks rubbing against each other through the fabric of their clothes.
***** Three Words *****

Author's notes: Delightful porn after dark revelations. Oh,and a creepy
stalker.
***
===============================================================================
"Oh fuck yeah." Dean muttered, the idea of fucking in the engine room had him
hard and leaking in seconds before he leaned forward, kissing Sam's mouth and
pushing his tongue in while his hands busied themselves with getting their
cocks out, pants falling to their ankles. Dean kissed Sam deeply, almost
fucking Sam's mouth with his tongue as he thumbed the slit of their cocks,
gathering the precome oozing from there and slicking their cocks up with it.
 
"I would lick you open, but I don't have the patience for it right now." Dean
hissed against Sam's mouth, wrapping his arms around Sam's waist and hitching
him up on a pipe running behind him. Sam's shirt and jacket was still on and
Dean made no move to remove them. He wrapped one arm around Sam's back to keep
him from slipping back and falling. He ground their cocks together, jerking
them off with one hand until Sam was whimpering and thick, pale liquid was
flowing freely from their cocks.
 
"God I love fucking you." Dean whispered positioning himself at Sam's hole and
just sliding his cock along the crease, lubing the area up with his own
precome, Dean dived forward for Sam's mouth again, keeping his one arm around
Sam's back and using the other to hitch one of Sam's legs up over his shoulder
to open him up even wider. “And for the record, you're the only one I've ever
had sex with without a condom.”
“I believe you...” Sam panted. “No need to bring it up again. Come on now...”
"Ready or not, here I come." Dean muttered, kissing Sam again as he reached
down and pressed into Sam, slow and careful as he relished the tight heat
inside. Sam held on to the pipe above his head, mouth open, eyes wide and
pupils dilated as Dean pushed inside him. He was so wired up; he felt dirty,
nasty, liberated. Free.
 
"Tell me if it hurts, alright? I don't have lube..." Dean whispered, pressing
further inside Sam as slow as he could go, giving Sam as much time as he needed
to adjust but Sam didn't want time to adjust, he wanted to feel Dean as much as
he could, he loved the burn, the slight pain Dean's cock caused while
stretching him open inch by inch. Sam took a firm grasp of the pipe above his
head and lifted himself up a bit, wrapping his legs around Dean's waist. Dean
groaned. He knew lube would make things easier,especially for Sam, but with Sam
he just hadn't had the patience to go down to their room and get the stupid
thing. Then again, Sam was the first guy he had ever fucked bareback too.
"Just fuck me..." Sam panted, mouth opening even wider as Dean slid in all the
way. "Jesus fuck, fuck me so hard I'll walk crooked for days and everyone knows
what you've done, come on babe, fuck me open, fill me up..."
 
The first hard thrust made Sam scream out loud. It was a good thing that the
engines were kind of noisy... The second thrust made Sam throw his head back
and moan. "Yeah, like that... I want you to fuck me so deep I can taste you in
the back of my throat..."
Dean almost lost it right then and there. Dirty talking Sam was something like
out of a porn movie.
 
Sam's muscles were trembling. "Oh fuck!" Sam gasped when Dean's cock thrust
against his prostate, so hard Sam almost lost his grip of the pipe. He couldn't
think, almost couldn't breath as Dean's cock kept thrusting inside him hard and
fast, abusing his oversensitive prostate, and Sam knew that he was about two
seconds away from coming.
 
"Fuck, I love your cock inside me..." Sam lowered his head and captured Dean's
lips into a bruising kiss, fucking his mouth with his tongue, squeezing his ass
until he heard Dean cry out and then Sam was coming himself, Dean's cock
pulsing inside of him as their bodies writhed and spasmed together. Sam
tightened and relaxed his ass, milking every last drop of come out of Dean
before letting his legs slide back to the floor, still holding on to the pipe
because he honestly wasn't sure if his legs would give in the moment he'd let
go.
 
"That was fucking great..." Sam panted, sweaty bags sticking on his forehead
and cheeks.
"Sex in the engine room?" Dean panted once his heart rate started to return to
normal. "Is way too underrated." He finished, holding on to Sam to keep himself
standing because Sam had turned his knees to jello.
 
Once his balance returned, Dean let go reluctantly, the feeling of Sam warm and
sated against him was highly addictive. Dean grabbed his discarded boxers and
cleaned himself and Sam off, pulling on his pants and watching Sam dress.
 
"Shower, change, then we'll go have lunch. I think we can score you some red
meat today." Dean said with a wink, leaning in for a kiss before grabbing Sam's
hand and heading out of the engine room, only partially concerned about the way
his shirt had soaked up with Sam's come and it smelled heavily like sex. Sam's
own clothes weren't faring much better and Dean grew a little dizzy with the
way Sam smelled like him and Sam's scent was all over Dean. Well, let everyone
know they fucked. Sam was sex on legs and Dean was damn proud to be banging
him.
 
"Well, well, well..." Came a snide voice from behind them and even Gordon
couldn't ruin Dean's good mood at the moment. "Had a nice romp, Dean-o?" Gordon
said and Dean turned around, smiling brightly.
 
"Oh like you wouldn't believe!" Dean said with a grin. "Can hardly keep my
hands off him." Dean said as he grabbed Sam's ass with both hands and gave a
squeeze. "He's the best thing that's happened to me in years... ever!" Dean
said happily, kissing Sam deeply and Sam returned the kiss that was way too
obscene considering they were back in public.
Dean looked back at Gordon and saw a strange expression on his face, one
looking torn between jealousy and lewd admiration. "You've changed from the boy
I used to know."
Dean just grinned wider, flipping him the middle finger and Sam was enjoying
that way too much to be considered healthy. But then again, Gordon was an
asshole who deserved a lot more than just a flip of a finger. "Fuck you,
asshole! Now I'm gonna go have lunch with my boyfriend." Dean said easily,
grabbing Sam's hand and leading him away. Behind them they heard Gordon
chuckling to himself, surprised that Dean had called Sam his 'boyfriend'.
And yes, there was red meat. Sam ordered a huge juicy steak and salad, and
because he felt like celebrating their new relationship, he also asked the
waitress to bring a bottle of Cristal. Hey, it was after noon anyway, and it
was already midnight at some parts of the world.
 
"To us." Sam said and raised his champagne glass to a toast. "May there be lots
of happiness and countless incredible fucks." Then he laughed. "I'm sorry, I
can't help it, I'm just so happy." Then his smile got softer as he looked deep
into Dean's eyes. "You have no idea how much I love you. And oh God, I'm
turning this to a chick flick moment again..." His eyes twinkled as the grin
spread on his face again. "But I promise you one thing. Tonight. You, me, the
pool. Hard and rough and so fucking delicious it'll make this absolutely
awesome bubbly seem like water. I'll fuck your brains out." He smiled happily
again and raised the toast. "As I said, to us, and to new beginnings." He took
a sip and enjoyed the feeling of bubbles exploding on his tongue.
As Sam made the toast Dean laughed a little at the chick flick moment comment.
Then Sam's promise about the pool made Dean's dick twitch interestedly even
though they had fucked less than an hour ago. Thankfully Dean couldn't get it
up that quickly and so his discomfort at the table was minimal.
 
"Dude, you? Should be illegal." Dean muttered as he took a sip of the
champagne, agreeing wholeheartedly with Sam even if he put a show of being
grouchy.
For the rest of the day, they just explored the ship, hanging out in the games
room where Sam and him played some first person shooter games. Dean got his ass
kicked by Sam on the DDR but only by a little because Sam sucked himself. They
almost laughed themselves sick at the end though when Dean got his feet so
tangled on the stupid mat that he fell down. They found a sauna where Dean got
traumatized when a naked, old, fat man walked out jiggling all over the place
and sweaty as hell.
 
Finding a small library and then a bookstore, Dean found several stores selling
booze and one adult store selling bondage gear which had Dean grinning from ear
to ear. He saw a vibrating butt plug and swore to buy it and put it in Sam one
day and force him to go all day with it inside him. He also found briefs with a
zipper down there so Dean wouldn't even have to tear Sam's underwear off to
fuck him.
 
Dean decided to go shopping there very soon.
 
After dinner, Sam and Dean headed back to their rooms, opting to watch a movie
till Dean had the chance to ravish Sam outside, in public... in full view of
anyone having a sleepless night...
 
The idea filled Dean with so much excitement he was pretty much walking around
with a constant hard on, cock twitching in his pants everytime he thought of
it. He couldn't wait.
The day went nicely but way too slow. Sam couldn't wait the evening, or rather
night when most of the people would be sleeping or getting drunk at bars and
nightclubs, and that meant that there wouldn't be people on the deck, or the
pool, and even if some sleepless or drunk person happened to walk by... Sam
smirked. Maybe he did have a small kink for getting caught in public.
 
Finally the evening turned into an early night and Sam didn't say anything,
just looked at Dean in a way that didn't need words. He took a long black
bathrobe from the closed and threw it to Dean, getting similar one for himself.
They stripped quietly, the tension thick and exciting, and Sam's heart beat a
little faster when he thought about the things he had planned. They dressed to
the robes and left the suite, and just like Sam had suspected, the deck was
empty, and so was the pool.
 
"Ready?" Sam smiled, took a step closer to Dean, opened the belt of his
boyfriend's robe and slid it down his shoulders until Dean was standing naked
in front of him, his pale golden skin glowing in the moonlight. Sam let his own
bathrobe fall down and took one final step closer to Dean, making them stand
skin to skin against each other. "Come on." Sam whispered. "I have something
special planned for us."
 
Before they entered the water, Sam quickly grabbed the waterproof lube from the
pocket of his bathrobe. Even he had his limits, and two fucks without lube at
the same day was... well, even Sam's ass had its limits. So he closed the small
tube inside his palm and followed Dean to the water. It was warm, moonlight
shimmering on the surface, and it was so damn romantic that Sam couldn't help
but smile wickedly when he thought about his plans that would make the scene
anything but romantic.
 
"Dean..." Sam whispered against Dean's lips as they stood face to face in the
water. "I'll tell you what I want. If you don't want it, just say so, and we'll
do this your way." Sam licked his lips, making them look pink and wet. "I want
you to take me. Really take me, like an animal takes its mate. Have you seen
lions mating? There's biting, it's rough and hard, almost violent. I want you
to take me like that. Think you could do that for me?"
 
Dean's answer took Sam by surprise, because it didn't come in the form of
words, instead Dean grabbed Sam's hand, forced the tube of lube off of it and
then roughly grabbed Sam's neck, wrapping his arm around it and dragging Sam to
the shallow end of the pool, almost to the stairs, pushing him on his back and
grabbing his hips, lifting them high and attacking Sam's ass with his teeth and
tongue, ripping a muffled cry out of Sam. And then Sam was writhing and moaning
as Dean's hands spread his thighs and Dean's tongue pushed deep inside Sam.
 
"Fuck..." Sam managed to choke out and Dean looked at him between Sam's spread
legs and smiled like a predator.
 
"Good idea, Sammy."
 
The next thing Sam realized was that he was on his stomach before Dean wrapped
his arm around Sam's waist and forced his ass up. He fingered Sam's hole with
slick fingers, and Sam had no idea when Dean had managed to lube them. Sam's
breaths got hard and harsh, the fingers inside him rubbing against his prostate
and Sam's head fell down between his shoulders.
 
"Oh, no no..." Dean purred. "No hiding, Sam. I want it all."
 
Dean's cock sank inside Sam at the same moment Dean grabbed Sam's hair and
yanked his head back so far that the tendons of Sam's neck stood out.
 
"Mine." Dean growled and started pounding into Sam, fucking him so hard that
Sam's knees slipped on the wet tiles, and it was bestial, it was like wild
animals mating, and when Dean sank his teeth in Sam's shoulder, Sam screamed.
Dean kept biting him, still holding Sam's head back while fucking into him,
taking advantage of Sam's exposed neck to suck and bite. Sam clawed the tiles,
the shallow water around them was splashing around, and there was a storm
inside Sam. He was full of hurricanes and tornadoes and lightning, and when
Dean moved his angle and started mercilessly fuck against Sam's prostate, Sam
fell apart. His body spasmed, muscles trembled, and he screamed out Dean's name
when he came so hard he saw white.
 
A while after that everything was blurry, like Sam was watching the world
behind a see through curtain.
 
"I love you, Sammy." Dean whispered into his ear, and Sam almost froze, hearing
Dean say those words to him for the first time. They filled him with ridiculous
ammount of pure glee and happiness, and he turned around on his back, pulled
Dean on top of him and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. Sam had no idea
how long they spent there, just kissing, hands finding naked skin and caressing
gently. But eventually, as the heat subsided and it started to get a bit
chilly, Sam smiled and whispered that maybe they should head back to their
suite and get warm. Sam helped Dean up or maybe it was Dean helping him up
because Sam's legs felt like jello. His ass felt hot and sore, and his body
ached pleasantly.
 
At the same time, Gordon couldn't sleep. He twisted and turned, sleep evading
him until he got up with a growl. As he slammed the sliding door separating the
bedroom from the living room open, Ben who was sleeping on the couch jumped up,
trembling with worry and dread.
 
"Oh relax. I'm just going for a walk." Gordon snapped and Ben stayed standing
until the suite door closed. He wandered the deserted hallways for a while,
deciding to go out to the deck, hoping the fresh air would help him clear his
mind. He headed to the deck, near the balcony that overlooked the pool when he
heard a whimper and a moan. Curious, he stepped closer to the railing when he
saw the two bodies in the water, wet and slick.
 
Surprised for a second, he quickly stepped back, avoiding getting seen. Then he
stepped closer looking again and his eyes widened when he recognized that back,
those hair, those hands.
 
"Dean." He whispered, smirking when he realized who else was with him. "Oh
lookie here..." He breathed, watching as Dean ate Sam out, face buried in
between Sam's legs while the hooker moaned and panted and writhed like
something out of a porn movie. He watched, riveted as Dean flipped Sam onto his
stomach before pushing his fingers into Sam's ass. Gordon groaned softly,
unzipping his pants and taking his cock out, caressing it slowly as he watched
the two bodies panting and writhing.
 
Gordon could hear soft mutters, talking in deep tones until Dean was sinking
into Sam just as he grabbed Sam's hair and yanked him back, the tendons on his
neck standing out and it was beautiful and temptation incarnate. Gordon found
his eyes stuck to the bare expanse of Sam's neck before trailing down to where
Dean's surprisingly thick cock disappeared into Sam's perfectly sculpted ass.
Gordon could remember Dean like it was yesterday. He had been such a twink.
Skinny, lean and all wiry muscle... big green innocent eyes, cock sucking full
lips that drove Gordon insane...
 
He had been a wet dream in black slacks and Gordon had pounced on the chance to
get him. And he had gotten away. He almost couldn't associate the man Dean had
become, all broad shoulders and thick muscles, and deep voice... to the boy he
had once been. He had tried so hard to find another man who had been as
beautiful as Dean, but had failed... until now. Sam was nothing like Dean, but
also everything Gordon wanted. Tall, lean, beautiful beyond belief... feisty,
stubborn, strong... it'd be fun to break him.
 
But together...
 
Gordon's hand sped up on his cock, flicking a thumb over his slit to spread the
precome leaking copiously from there.
 
Together, those two were ethereal. Gordon wouldn't be averse to fucking them
both at the same time, even if in the end he just wanted Sam as his. He wanted
Dean miserable. He wanted him to cry, to scream, to beg Gordon for his lover
back and Gordon wanted to laugh and say no. He wanted to watch Dean fall apart,
he wanted to watch Dean break.
 
And he wanted Sam to be his so much it was an ache in his chest, a burn in his
abdomen, a pull in his stomach and a tingle in his fingers.
 
"Mine." Dean growled and Gordon heard it clear as day. He smiled as he watched
Dean fuck Sam so hard the boy slipped along the wet tiles, groaning and
screaming for Dean as he sank his teeth into his lover's shoulder.
 
He watched Sam fall apart, moaning and screaming as Gordon saw the splash of
white on the slick tiles. Armed with the knowledge of what Sam sounded like
when he came, Gordon let go and came into his own hand with a hiss.
 
Cleaning up using a napkin from a nearby table, Gordon glanced down one more
time and found them kissing, lying on top of each other and mouths fused
together. God he wanted to fuck those two so badly...
 
He'll have to up his game. Dean shouldn't have challenged him the way he had.
He should have gone and gotten himself another cheap escort, someone who would
have been his for a few dollars and Gordon would have been able to see the look
of betrayal and anger on Dean's face all over again. By bringing Sam, a guy who
refused to bow down, Dean had incurred his obsession.
 
"I'll see you tomorrow, Dean-o." Gordon whispered before heading back to his
suite where he found Ben and pretended he was Sam. By the time he was done with
him, Ben was whimpering softly in the corner of the living room, pulling his
pants back on with pained grimaces and Gordon's insomnia had been cured when he
fell into bed, passing out before his head hit the pillow.
***** Plans Of Both Kind *****
Sam and Dean dressed on their bathrobes and went back to the suite. The jacuzzi
was full, the water was hot, and Sam practically tore Dean's robe off and then
his own, pulling dean to the jacuzzi with him and then he spent minutes just
kissing Dean because he couldn't get enough of Dean's lips, his tongue, his
taste. The jacuzzi was officially off the sore spots list, Dean decided as he
relaxed against Sam's body, kissing and touching him like it was going out of
fashion. If he hadn't come so hard earlier and if he wasn't so bushed right
now, he would have tried for another round but no way was Dean Junior standing
up today.
 
 
Sam felt lazy and lethargic. In just two weeks his whole life had turned upside
down, and he still had hard time believing that this was real. He couldn't help
the feeling that this was just a dream, and that he would wake up from it any
minute, in his own apartment, alone and lonely.
 
But at least this was real. Dean's skin, the muscles underneath, his wet hair
and deep green eyes, they were all real, and so was the love Sam felt towards
him. And Dean had said he loved Sam too. It amazed him. He had only been in
love once before in his life and it had taken months to develop the kind of
trust that Sam was able to open up and let another person in. But with Dean he
didn't hesitate, and in a way it was crazy. He had only known Dean for couple
of weeks, and yet he felt like this was the man he wanted to spend the rest of
his life with.
 
"You must be a witch..." Sam whispered. "Or a warlock. I don't know what kind
of spell you have cast upon me..." Sam smiled, "...but it's definitely
working."
Dean grinned at the cheesy lines, finding them funny and endearing at the same
time. "And you must have watched one too many chick flicks when you thought no
one was looking." Dean whispered back in the same tone as Sam's. "Did you cry
at the end of The Notebook, Sammy?" He nipped at Sam's lips before starting to
climb out of the jacuzzi. "I haven't even seen The Notebook!" Sam protested. He
smiled teasingly. "Have you?" But Dean just grabbed Sam's hand, tugging him out
with him and pulling his wet body close to he could kiss those beautiful lips
again while he grabbed a nearby towel and began to dry them both off.
 
"Now sleep. I'm bushed." Dean muttered, leading Sam into the bedroom and
crawling under the bed-covers, wrapping himself around his boyfriend from
behind, burying his face into Sam's hair and breathing deeply before slipping
into sleep.
 
Sam was tired, his body felt like he had no bones at all, but he spent some
time just listening Dean breathing and thinking how lucky he was. The past was
gone, he was off the hook of heroin and now this beautiful man wanted to be
with him, even when he knew about the things Sam had done and what had been
done to him. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.
When Sam woke up the next morning, Dean's warm body was still pressed against
his own, and he could feel Dean's morning wood against his ass. Sam closed his
eyes and couldn't help moving his hips so that Dean's hard on rubbed a little
harder against him. A sharp sting of arousal almost made him groan, but he
swallowed it, not wanting to wake up Dean who seemed to sleep so peacefully.
 
Sam tilted his head back so that his neck was against Dean's shoulder and
slowly guided his hand to his rock hard cock, caressing it slowly, breathing
softly until he couldn't repress a whimper and his hand sped up.
 
God, Dean was driving him crazy. No matter how many times they had fucked
during the past two weeks and no matter how sore Sam still was from the dry
fuck from the day before, he still wanted Dean, wanted him inside him, wanted
him so deep that he would feel Dean forever.
Dean was sleeping deeply, dreams saturated with images of Sam wet and sweaty
and dirty, all with him begging and moaning for Dean to fuck him, hard and fast
and make him scream. It was no wonder he woke up with the mother of all hard-
ons and Sam whimpering softly pressed against him, his hand moving fast in that
telltale way...
Dean grinned against Sam's hair, pretending to be asleep and watching Sam
through his eyelashes. Casually he slung one arm over Sam's hip, dropping it
limply right over Sam's busy hand and brushing against the wet warmth slipping
between those fingers. He kept his breaths slow and deep, barely keeping his
hips from pressing harder into Sam. He wondered what Sam would do, thinking he
was asleep. Would he continue jerking off or would he try something else.
 
God Dean had never been this horny with any of his other escorts/boyfriends.
He'd had sex with them, of course he had, but it hadn't been nearly this
frequency. It was like his body started screaming for Sam if he went fifteen
minutes without just touching him. Fuck, he was so whipped it was not even
funny.
 
Okay, maybe a little funny.
Sam stiffened when Dean's arm casually slung over Sam's hip, but Dean was still
breathing slow and deep, and Sam relaxed. Apparently he hadn't woke Dean up.
But the hand that had brushed his hardness only made the heat pool in his
stomach until it felt scorching and Sam was sure he was going to burn at any
second and Dean would find just a pile of ash when he would finally wake up...
 
Sam was breathing harder, his hand still stroking his cock until it was just
too much and Sam turned around against Dean, pressed his body tightly against
Dean's and his hips ground tightly against his sleeping lover. Their cocks were
pressed together, and the sound that escaped Sam's throat sounded like he was
in pain and heat at the same time. Well, he was. He was so turned on it hurt
and the flames that burned inside him made him whimper desperately.
"Oh fuck." Sam whispered and Dean couldn't agree more. Giving up the pretense,
Dean pushed forward, catching Sam by surprise as he pushed Sam onto his back,
lying down on top of him.
"Next time, wake me up." Dean whispered against Sam's lips and Sam's eyes
widened before Dean captured his mouth in a deep kiss. Dean sucked hard on his
tongue, making him moan into the kiss, his own mouth trying to start dominating
the kiss but then Dean sucked harder and Sam gave in and just let Dean take his
mouth, take him. Dean's hands were all over his body, stopping down when they
clutched the firm flesh of Sam's ass. He pulled Sam up, forcing him to press
harder against Dean's cock and the sting of lust that went through Sam's
abdomen was so sharp it made him squeeze his eyes closed as a muffled whimper
escaped from his throat.
 
Dean's hands went lower, grasping his thighs and pushing them apart so that
Dean fell in between his legs and Sam opened his eyes. His eyes were hooded and
pupils black with lust. With one hand Dean played with Sam's cock and balls
while with the other he positioned himself at Sam's hole and Sam stopped
breathing for a second. He wanted this, God how he wanted this but he also knew
that it would hurt, a lot. His ass was clenching and releasing as his eyes
opened all the way, wide, glassy and just a hint of fear in them. Then Dean
pressed the head of his cock against Sam's ass, letting the precome paint the
tense hole before he pushed inside and Sam squeezed his eyes close again. Dean
pulled away from Sam's mouth, and Sam opened his eyes, seeing Dean watching his
expressions as Dean slowly pushed inside. It hurt, fuck it hurt but Sam was too
far gone to care. The friction, the burn, the pain that mixed with pleasure as
Dean sank deeper and groaned. Sam had lost his voice, the feeling of Dean's
cock inside him filled all his senses, and then Dean smirked that devilish
smile and Sam just stared into his eyes, breathing harder and trying to relax.
 
Dean kept slipping deeper and deeper inside, letting Sam feel every inch as he
watched the expressions flicker over Sam's face with rapt attention. Once Dean
was seated entirely inside, he stopped for a moment, and his hand was pumping
Sam's cock, the tight grip and skillful fingers keeping him hard and
distracted. Finally Sam relaxed, but only for a moment because then Dean pulled
almost all the way out before slamming inside, making the entire bed shake with
the force and Sam's back arched, his head fell back against the pillow and his
mouth opened wide in to a silent scream. Then Dean forced one of Sam's legs
over his shoulder and he started fucking Sam, hard and fast and watching every
flicker of pain and pleasure cross his face, Sam's eyes that were wide open as
he stared at Dean and even with the pain his body was willing and ready to bend
each and every way Dean wanted to take him.
 
And then it happened. Dean's cock thrust brutally against Sam's prostate while
pounding away into him and the pain wasn't gone but it was different kind of
pain, good pain, pain of being so aroused it felt like dying. Dean forced him
to nearly bend in half, making Dean slip deeper inside until nothing existed
except Sam's moans and Dean's gasps and the slick, slapping sound of flesh
meeting flesh.
 
"Fuck..." Dean said but Sam barely heard it through the sound of blood rushing
in his veins and his heart beating like it was trying to crawl of of his chest.
But he felt Dean spilling deep into him, felt the twitch of his hips but he
didn't stop. He kept fucking Sam through it, and Sam threw his head from side
to side, he was moaning and mumbling nonsenses and then the orgasm washed over
him like a thunderstorm and he spilled his seed on Dean's hand, body convulsing
under Dean as his hips jerked sharply before he went completely limb, deft and
blind in his post-orgasmic state. Dean fell on top of Sam, and Sam's sweat
covered legs slipped off Dean's shoulders. Sam barely realized it when Dean
pulled out with a soft sucking sound, and then Sam closed his eyes, trying to
calm down his hammering heart. His body hurt after straining his muscles so
hard when Dean fucked him to the mattress, and his ass hurt even more, but God
it had been worth it.
Meanwhile, Gordon swirled the wine in his hand as he watched the deck, waiting
for his two favorite people to make an appearance. The image of the two bodies
writhing last night was fresh in his mind, making his blood boil and his skin
tingle with the need to touch, to have, to take. In a very small amount of time
he found himself obsessing with Sam, wanting him so badly he could practically
taste it. And then there was Dean. The same Dean who he'd had in his bed just
six or seven years ago, young and lean and beautiful with big beautiful eyes
and those cock sucking lips... and now that Dean was broad shouldered, ripped,
green eyes still wide and lips still plump...
 
But this Dean was a man, and Gordon could sometimes still see the boy in him.
Last night, there had been none of that boy in Dean. He had been wild,
claiming, almost primal in his intensity to claim Sam who had clawed and
grabbed at Dean like he would die if Dean didn't fuck him. For a moment, Gordon
found himself torn. Who did he want more? Did he want to break Dean more than
he wanted to fuck Sam? Or did he want to fuck Sam and just have him begging him
to let him come. Oh the games he wanted to play...
 
Most of all though... even more than wanting to make Sam scream, he wanted to
hear Dean sob. He wanted to hear Dean beg, and plead, and then he wanted him to
give up. Break.
 
Dean would rue the day he walked away from him, and Sam would regret the minute
he said no to Gordon.
 
Speaking of the devil... there they were.
Dean led Sam to the bow of the ship after breakfast, just because right in that
spot the sound of the ocean drowned out the noise of all the people on the deck
behind them, and there was a fine spray of salty water in the air at all times.
Dean liked this spot.
 
Keeping Sam close because he came here for no other reason than to just spend
some time with Sam, which was ridiculous because they spent almost every waking
moment together it still felt not enough. So one arm wrapped around Sam's waist
and the other holding the wet railing, Dean discussed random things with his
boyfriend. He talked about how he got his first job, and the way his most hated
piece of clothing was a cummerbund because it reminded him of a fancy girdle,
and that his favorite word was shenanigans because his Mom used to say it to
him when he got into trouble. That took him to the topic of his family and he
started telling Sam about his military father who had the whole house up at 6
every morning. About his sister who was getting married to a mechanic of all
people, and his Mom who would love to meet Sam. Once he told her he was gay...
of course. He wasn't so sure about his Dad... best case scenario was that John
wasn't a homophobe. But Dean wasn't too optimistic.
Sam just loved to listen Dean speaking, to find out more about him, to really
get to know him. They were so comfortable in each other company that Sam had
hard time believing how little time they had actually spent together. And then
he thought of all the time he and Dean would spend together in the future and
smiled. At one point Dean turned around to look at Sam and instead saw Gordon
standing on a balcony, looking at them, and Sam's smile died with Dean's next
words.
 
"Gordon's watching." Dean said softly, his eyes meeting Gordon's dark ones and
that shameless asshole didn't even have the decency to look away. Jesus Christ
that man was creepy.
 
"I don't care." Sam said quietly, but the truth was that Gordon made him
nervous. "Let him watch if it makes him happy. At least then he sees what he's
never gonna get."
 
Sam thought about kissing Dean for a moment but then decided that if Dean had
seen Gordon, then Gordon had to know that they knew he was there and kissing
then would seem like a show. So he just held Dean close to him and twined their
fingers on the wet railing.
 
Sam didn't regret he had taken this job that had turned out to be so much more
than a job, but he still wanted the cruise to end, just to get away from
Gordon. He had seen people like that before. There was something in Gordon's
eyes that made Sam feel really uneasy. It maybe wasn't madness, but it was
pretty close to it.
Gordon kept the eye contact with Dean going, refusing to look away and admit
defeat. He watched as Sam pulled Dean closer, their fingers twining on the
railing and Dean was distracted. He broke the contact and looked to the side,
smiling at Sam in that weird soft way that made something inside Gordon twist
and snarl and hiss. Then Gordon was forgotten as he saw Dean's lips moving,
eyes bright and expression animated as he started talking to Sam again about
god knew what.
Huffing with disgust, Gordon turned around and headed down to the bar to grab a
drink.
***** The Confrontation *****
Three weeks of cruise were too much, in Dean's opinion. Too long, too annoying,
and Dean grew tired of the same people, the same places, and the rather
redundant days. He was just glad he had Sam with him who helped him find new
ways to pass time. Dean didn't think he had fucked this much in his life. And
he still couldn't get enough. He had every inch of Sam memorized, knew exactly
where to kiss, where to suck, where to bite to make Sam scream and sigh and
moan. They had christened the jacuzzi so many times Dean couldn't think of the
word 'jacuzzi' without getting hard anymore. As for the bed... they ended up
breaking it. And then they laughed about it so hard Dean got a stitch in his
side.
 
Gordon stayed out of their way, and Ben looked sicker and sicker by the day
until Dean just didn't see him outside anymore. He just hoped the boy hadn't
suffered any permanent damage. It seemed Gordon got sicker and madder every
time Dean saw him. It was a surprise every time to see that twisted, dark look
in Gordon's eyes. He hadn't used to be this... unhinged. Dean didn't worry
about Gordon as much as he worried about the people he'll take it out on.
 
As long as Sam was safe, Dean didn't care much about them either. He was
selfish, he knew, but he wasn't going to mess with Gordon if not needed. Not
when he had so much to lose.
 
Sam also noticed how Ben looked worse and worse every day, and the final drop
was when Ben disappeared completely. After two days of not seeing him, Sam
decided it was about time to confront Gordon. The opportunity came when Dean
had to meet one of his business colleagues, and Sam was left alone for few
hours. He had a strong feeling that talking with Gordon would be like talking
to a brick wall, but what else could he do? He couldn't leave Ben at Gordon's
mercy, if the boy was even alive anymore...
 
Sam closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to figure out
some way to get through Gordon, but during these three weeks Sam had got a very
clear image of Gordon and the way he cared about nothing and no-one but
himself. Still, Sam had to try.
 
He knocked on the door of Gordon's suite, not even knowing if he was there, but
the door opened almost right away, and the look on Gordon's face – surprised,
but only for few seconds before his face turned into a knowing smirk – made Sam
hate the guy even more. Not to even mention when Gordon nod and took a good
once-over of Sam's body. And his first words...
“Told you you'll come to me before this cruise is over. Come in.”
 
“Actually that's not why I'm here.” Sam said but entered the suite anyway,
noticing right away that Ben wasn't there. Anger raised its ugly head inside
Sam but he kept his voice calm. “Where's Ben?”
 
Gordon smiled. “Winchester finally realized it's best to let you go?”
 
“Where's Ben?” Sam repeated his question. Gordon laughed. “Not here, as you can
see. Had to send the boy away.”
Sam felt something cold coil inside his belly but he had to ask, even when the
answer scared him. “Is he alive?” At that Gordon let out an amused sigh and
smiled the way that could have only been described as 'evil'. “He'll live.”
 
“So you sent him away. Where?”
Gordon's smile died. “What do you care? You came for me, like I said you would.
Why won't we cut the bullshit and proceed to what you really came here to get,
huh?”
Sam's anger took a few notches up. “I didn't come here for you, and as soon as
this cruise ends, I'll never wanna see you again.”
 
Gordon felt mixed feelings. He really liked how feisty Sam was, but at the same
time there was something dark and dangerous rising inside him, just few inches
below his cockiness. “I can see that you will not give out without a fight.
Probably even enjoy some battle of wills. But don't worry, I have my ways to
make this easier for you. You might even like it.”
 
Sam gave Gordon a snarky smile. “Oh yeah? And what exactly were you planning on
do--” Sam couldn't even finish his sentence before Gordon attacked him. He
should have expected something like this to happen, but it came so suddenly
that the next thing Sam realized was that he was on his back on the floor,
Gordon on top of him, hands on Sam's throat. “If you really wanna play rough,
that can be arranged...” Gordon snarled, his face just an inch apart from
Sam's. Gordon was a heavy motherfucker, and his hands on Sam's throat made it
difficult to breath. “Just give in. You were mine the first time I saw you, and
if you act nicely this doesn't have to hurt as much as I could make it hurt.”
 
For some reason Sam wasn't afraid. No, in fact he was furious, but he hid it
well and stopped struggling like he really was giving up. Gordon gave him a
lewd smirk. “That's what I thought too.” Gordon let go of Sam's throat and sat
on his thighs, hands starting to fumble with Sam's pants, and that's when Sam
made his move. He raised his knee and smashed it against Gordon's groin as hard
as he could, ripping a furious scream out of Gordon, and the man fell to the
floor on his side, curled into himself and holding his crotch.
 
Sam got up, arranged his clothes and looked down at Gordon who stared back with
eyes full of hatred. “You'll regret this...” Gordon choked out but Sam didn't
answer anymore, just huffed in disgust before leaving the suite, leaving Gordon
cursing on the floor.
Worry stroke him as soon as Sam was out. Ben was gone, and Sam had to find out
what had happened. The cruise would be over in few days, and after that Sam
could start searching for answers. But right now he needed fresh air, so he
headed to the deck, finding Dean there.
 
“Hey.” Dean smiled. “I went to our suite but you were not there. I was kinda
worried for a while.” Dean frowned. “Where were you? I looked all over for
you.”
“I went to talk to Gordon.” Sam said, still upset. Dean was silent for a long
moment, then licked his lips and looked Sam in the eyes. “Why?” He simply
asked, voice blank. “Ben is not on the ship anymore.” Sam answered. “I needed
to find out what happened.”
“So did you?”
“What do you think? And before you start lecturing me... I just needed to
know.”
 
In a way Dean understood. Even better now after Sam had told about his past and
how he had been just like Ben, but still... The idea of Sam and Gordon alone in
the same room? He didn't like that thought, not one bit. Dean cleared his
throat. “So... did Gordon try anything while you were there?”
 
He wasn't really sure he wanted to hear the answer. But Sam answered anyway.
“He tried. Until I kicked him in the balls so hard that he'll probably have
trouble with walking for the rest of the cruise.”
Dean's eyes widened. “You...?”
“Yeah.”
 
Dean allowed himself to dwell on images of Gordon in pain and writhing on the
floor, humiliated, for a while, and no matter how much he wanted to be angry at
Sam for doing something so stupid, there was a smile tugging on the corner of
his lips. But after that he realized something that made his blood run cold.
“Listen, Sam, and listen carefully.” Dean started. “Gordon has always hated me.
It has always been a war between us. What you just did...” Dean swallowed. “You
just declared a war against him too.”
Sam shrugged. “He deserved it.”
 
Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening his eyes again and
looking at Sam, then closed the small distance between them, pulling Sam into
his arms. “I just don't want anything to happen to you...” Dean whispered. “I
don't think I could live without you if something happened. Not when I've just
found you.”
“Hey...” Sam whispered back. “It's only couple of days. Then we'll be out of
here and move together and forget Gordon for once and for good. Okay?”
“Okay.” Dean agreed. “Just promise me one thing. Don't go see him again.”
“I promise.”
“I love you. Don't really know what I'd do without you...” Dean said quietly.
Sam cupped his cheek and searched for his eyes. “Hey, I love you too. And
you're not losing me. I promise.”
“Better hold on to that promise...” Dean murmured and pulled Sam even closer,
kissing him softly while the seagulls screamed in the sky.
***** Will's Confession *****
Sam kept his promise and didn't confront Gordon anymore. In fact, during the
last few days of the cruise it almost seemed like Gordon had let them be. For
some reason that was even more alarming than if the guy would have been
stalking them 24/7. Something was up, Dean knew it. Gordon never gave up,
especially when he was angry and determined of getting what he wanted. Sam had
learned that too. Something was coming, which made them both feel uneasy, but
finally the cruise was over, and in few days Gordon was almost forgotten,
because Sam and Dean had so many other things to do now that they were back and
officially together.
 
Dean helped Sam move into his apartment with a sort of giddiness he had never
felt before. He also took extreme pleasure in writing up a notice for the
landlord about Sam withdrawing from his lease contract and handing it to him
personally. Sam didn't own much, and Dean vowed to replace some of the things
that Sam was using that were worn down and tired looking. He planned on
spoiling Sam silly if he'd let him. Soon Dean's bachelor pad turned into a
home. He came home from work expecting Sam there to see him. He enjoyed the
warm hugs, the soft kisses, and delicious food and then the mind-blowing sex so
much he may have gotten just the tiniest bit careless... and feeling a whole
lot safer than he really was. But he didn't know that then. Not until it was
too late.
 
He didn't notice the two men standing across from his building sipping cups of
coffee every morning. He didn't notice how they watched him as he entered his
building, as he left his building. He didn't notice the car following him to
work, and the people working overtime to put down his schedule on paper.
 
He definitely didn't notice the same being done for Sam.
 
He had grown careless in his bliss, and he would never forgive himself for that
mistake.
 
Sam had never in his life thought that he'd end up being domestic, living with
someone, being in love. But there he was, in Dean's -their- apartment, and
everything was so perfect Sam was just waiting for the bubble to burst because
he had to be dreaming. But as the days went by, Sam decided that either this
was one hell of a long dream or then it had to be real. It really took him time
to believe that this was really happening; had already happened. He was in
love, sharing dinner table and bed with a man he loved and who loved him back.
Sam had no idea what he had done to deserve Dean.
 
One worry remained though, and that was Ben. Sam decided it was about time to
find out what had happened to the boy.
 
Then one day when Dean was at work, Sam remembered his conversation with his
friend Will who had said that Dean was dangerous and sadistic. He was curious,
because even when they played rough sometimes, Dean never really hurt him and
they always both wanted it. Handcuffs, toys, shackles... but it was nice, and
they didn't fuck like that all the time, it was more like spicing things up
once in a while. So, Sam decided to call Will and dig the truth out of him.
Maybe Will would even have some information about Ben.
 
"Hi." Sam greeted when Will answered his phone. "You remember Dean Winchester?"
 
Will sighed. "How could I forget? And I hear you can still speak. Can you walk
too?"
 
Sam grinned. "Well, some mornings pretty crookedly but then again, I'm begging
for it."
 
Will was quiet for a moment. "Wait, what? I thought... The cruise ended like...
Sam, what are you doing?"
 
"I'm living with Dean."
 
"What!?"
 
Sam laughed. "Meet me at the café in an hour. I'll tell you everything. Oh, and
I have some questions for you and you can forget about confidentiality because
Dean's not my boss anymore, he's my boyfriend."
 
This time the silence lasted longer. "Your boyfriend." Will said with a strange
tone. Then he sighed. "Fine, one hour, same place as the last time. And you
better tell me what's going on."
 
"Gladly." Sam grinned and hung up.
 
He changed his clothes and headed outside, planning of taking a walk in a
nearby park before meeting Will. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining,
the sky was clear and blue and nothing could go wrong today.
 
Sam had no idea how wrong he was.
 
Will was already waiting in the café when Sam arrived. He nodded to Will as a
greeting and went to the counter to order a large cappuccino. He paid with a
credit card Dean had given him, a credit card that Sam had absolutely refused
to accept because he wasn't going to spend Dean's money, but then the sneaky
bastard had got on to his knees and sucked him until Sam was whimpering, and
Dean didn't let him come until he swore he would take the card and use it.
 
"What's up?" Sam asked as he sat down across from Will. "Business going well?"
 
"Cut the bullshit." Will replied and Sam raised his brows. "Just what the hell
are you doing with Winchester?"
 
"I told you." Sam took a sip of his coffee and smiled. "I'm living with him."
 
"Just how much is he paying you??"
 
Sam frowned. "He's not paying me anything. We're together. I love him."
 
"Right..." Will muttered. "So he got you hooked too."
 
Sam frowned even more. "Just what exactly do you have against him? He's nothing
like you said. He's not any cruel sadist that enjoys hurting people. What kind
of issues you have with him?"
 
Will leaned a little closer, resting his arms on the table and looking at Sam,
and for a while Sam was sure he saw jealousy in Will's eyes. "He made you fall
in love with him. Now it's all flowers and butterflies but trust me, he'll
leave you when you least expect it. In other words, when he's had enough of
you. Let me guess, you two are fucking like minks. Well, don't assume it'll
last forever. Like I said before, he'll chew you up and spit you out."
 
Sam laughed but it was a joyless laugh. "He asked me to move in with him. We're
living together. I'd say that's pretty serious."
 
Will smiled bitterly. "Yeah. It's handy to have you right where he can have you
anytime he wants. You're blind, Sam."
 
Sam was silent for a moment. Then his eyes widened when realization hit in. "Oh
my God..." He whispered. "You were in love with him."
 
Will didn't say anything and his expression was blank.
 
"No way." Sam was stunned. "You still are."
 
"Go to hell, Sam."
 
Will got up and left without looking back. Sam had absolutely no idea of what
to think. This was something... Well, something he never would have guessed.
Then he remembered that he had other questions as well and hurried after Will,
leaving him almost untouched cappuccino to the table. He caught Will on the
street corner and grabbed his arm. ”Hey, wait! Just wait a second!”
 
“What?” Will sounded irritated. “I'm sorry but I'm not in a mood of hearing how
happy you two are together. Yeah, I fell for him. Big deal. Just don't rub your
domestic bliss into my face.”
 
“No, you got it all wrong. I actually had some other questions.”
 
“I don't wanna talk about Dean.”
 
Sam sighed. “This is not about Dean.” Sam explained. “And fine, you can hate me
all you want but I really need your help. Well, there's someone who needs help.
He's an escort so I figured you might know him. Unfortunately I don't know even
know but his first name, Ben. But he shouldn't be that hard to spot if you come
across him. He's barely legal and has been treated really badly. Skinny,
bruised---”
 
“And what do you care about that boy?” Will asked, a joyless smile plastered on
his face. Sam's expression turned stone cold. “You know why I care, Will. You
know. We have known each other for along time. Just because I'm with Dean,
don't take your bitterness out on someone who could be saved and has done
nothing to deserve the way he's been treated.”
 
Will sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Fine.” He said, looking at Sam again. “I'll
see what I can do. I'll ask around. Give me a week and meet me again,maybe I
have some info then.”
 
“Thank you.”
 
“And by the way, I'm sorry.” Will said quietly. “I really was in love, but... I
guess it just... nevermind. The point is that I wanna be happy for you, I
really do, especially after all the shit you've had to go through, but I'm not
gonna lie to you. It's damn hard.”
That Sam knew. He wanted to say something like 'you will find someone too', but
kept his mouth shut. In their line of work, no matter if escort or a hooker or
even a luxury whore, a chance of finding a real, steady relationship was like
one in a million chance. Will knew that too, and Sam could understand his
bitterness.
 
“One week.” Will said. “By then I should have at least some clues.” He turned
away but looked over his shoulder one more time. “Take care of yourself, Sam. I
mean it.” And then he walked away.
***** The Bittersweet Revenge *****

Author's notes: WARNING: from here on things get sickeningly dark for the next
few chapters. Not suitable for sensitive readers.
***
===============================================================================
Dean sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He was tired, the pile of
files on his table was massive today and he was going cross-eyed from all the
figures and numbers and contracts. He looked up at the clock and saw that it
was noon. Perfect. He needed a break.
 
Getting up he gathered his coat and wallet and headed downstairs, planning on
going to that cafe across the street and getting an extra large black coffee
because he'd need that extra buzz if he was going to get through all the
paperwork today. He sighed again, wanting to just go home and curl up around
Sam, breathe his scent in and pretend he won't have to get up and do this all
over again the next day.
 
Fifteen minutes later he walked out of the cafe, steaming coffee in a styrofoam
cup in his hand as he breathed the scent of it deeply, letting just that wake
him a bit. As he turned to head to his building, he bumped into a man stepping
out a black jeep.
 
"Hey, sorry." Dean mumbled, starting to step aside when he felt something dig
into his side. "What the-" Dean didn't get a chance to finish his sentence
before he felt a jolt of heat go through his body, making his fingers spasm and
let go of the coffee. It spilled darkly below him as his legs turned to jello
and his thoughts grew muddles. Every muscle in his body was rigid and spasming
for what felt like hours but was probably a second, maybe two.
 
"He's out." Was the last thing Dean heard before he was being grabbed and
thrown into the jeep, the sound of the doors sliding closed followed him into a
deep sleep.
 
On the sidewalk, a young woman watched the man who had been standing in front
of her in the line to get coffee get grabbed, and she wondered with fear and
trepidation if she had just witnessed a kidnapping. Cautious, she pulled out a
notepad and jotted down the jeep number she had memorized in the heat of the
moment before she forgot and wrote, BMW SUV below it. If it was a kidnapping,
then at least she had something. Probably it was nothing. People got kidnapped,
sure, but it didn't happen in front of her or around her. That was just crazy.
She was probably just being paranoid.
 
Dean woke up slowly, a pulsing headache centered right between his eyes and his
right side felt like it was on fire. "The fuck...?" Dean muttered hoarsely,
fingers twitching before he realized he couldn't move. He opened his eyes
carefully, looking around. He was in what looked like a basement... but a very
lavish one. Across from him was a large bed, decked out with satin sheets and
silk pillows and velvet blankets. The carpet under him was soft and plush, a
deep burgundy color. He was lying down, hands reached out and wrapped around a
pillar that wasn't too wide. It was cold and when Dean pressed his ear to it he
heard water rushing.
 
A pipe. It was a pipe running through the center of the room. Now he was more
than convinced he was in a basement.
 
Dean tried to sit up, but fell back down when a spark of pain flashed on his
side. His hands were tied together on the other side of the pillar with duct
tape and so Dean couldn't look what was hurting him.
 
"You're awake?" Came a familiar voice and Dean worked through the blur in his
mind to place it. He twisted to try and see and his eyes widened.
 
"Gordon?" Dean frowned, confused. "What's going on?" He asked, noting that he
was not tied in place either and Gordon was dressed... strangely... wearing
black silk pajamas and he had a thin robe tied around him. He looked like he
was getting ready for bed.
 
"You'll know soon enough, Deano. Go back to sleep. There's still time before I
wake you up." Gordon said in a tone that was almost loving.
 
"What the fuck?!" Dean asked again but Gordon ignored him, squatting next to
him and pulling Dean's shoes and socks off. Dean worried for a moment if Gordon
was going to rape him but he stopped after taking his socks off.
 
"Don't worry Deano. I just didn't like you tramping mud and dirt all over the
carpet." Gordon said with a grin, one hand still on his ankle before it started
traveling up, pushing Dean's slacks up and Dean pulled his leg back with a
jerk, fully prepared to kick back and really hurt Gordon but he was expecting
it. He dodged Dean's kick and reached for something outside Dean's field of
view.
 
"Don't be bad, kiddo. You'll regret it." Gordon said easily. "Now time to
sleep." He said as he reached down and pulled up Dean's shirt, inspecting
whatever was on his side. "Oh wow that looks like it hurts." He said to
something. "It's not bleeding though... I wonder what'll happen if I do
this..." Dean suddenly saw what was in Gordon's hand. It was a stun gun, the
electrodes pressed right where his side hurt the most.
 
"Wait! N-Nnnggh." Dean's body spasmed, molten lava running through his veins
and making every inch of him convulse. It stopped after what felt like ages and
Dean looked through watery eyes at Gordon's wavering figure. His heart was
hammering in his chest, blood roaring in his ears and sweat beading on his
skin. Every inch of him was on fire and random muscles were twitching all over
his body.
 
"Perfect. I love it when they bleed." Gordon said just as Dean panted 'f-fuck
you' as he lost consciousness.
 
Meanwhile, two men followed the target from his building to the park, waiting
for the perfect opportunity to grab him but it just never presented itself.
This one would also take longer, considering they weren't supposed to damage
this one at all. The one earlier, easy. One blast on the highest setting and he
was out like a light. This time though, they had to go more chemical.
 
One of them, tall and broad and he was the muscle of their little operation,
patted the small bottle of chloroform in his pocket while the other, thin and
lanky, pressed a cigarette between his lips, wanting to get done with it
already.
 
The target was in the cafe for a long time, just talking. Then he stepped out,
looking distracted before running after to the other man he had been in the
café, but the conversation between those two didn't take very long and then the
target started walking back toward the street were the café was, and the fates
were siding with them. There was a small group of trees on the side, where they
had parked their car to keep it from being obvious. As the target started
approaching that corner, they followed him, speeding up until Tall and Broad
grabbed him from behind and pushed a pungent cloth over his nose and mouth. The
target struggled, twisting and fighting but Tall wrapped an arm around his
shoulders and kept him in place. The boy was strong, and tall, but he was
nothing in the face of sheer muscle.
 
He was a smart one, he held his breath as he fought, but eventually all it took
was one gasping breath and the body went limp. Tall kept the cloth there for a
few minutes more just in case, hidden behind a tree to keep from getting people
suspicious, before he dragged the boy towards the SUV and dumped him in. Lanky
followed and got in the driver's seat. Tall would make sure the boy wouldn't
wake up, while Lanky would get them to their boss.
 
It all happened so fast Sam had no idea what actually happened. One moment he
was walking outside, and the next moment someone grabbed him from behind and
pressed a cloth on his face. Sam recognized the strange smell on the cloth and
instantly started holding his breath while he struggled against the attacker he
couldn't see, but finally the lack of oxygen made his lungs burn forcing him to
breathe, and that was all it took. The world went black.
 
Dean woke up slowly, seeing Gordon sitting on the bed, leaning over a body
lying on there but Dean couldn't see much other than just a mop of hair from
his spot on the ground. He groaned, cutting off in the middle because he didn't
want to attract Gordon's attention, but it seemed it was too late.
 
"Oh you're awake? Perfect." Gordon said, getting up and coming to Dean's side.
Dean's lips thinned as he jaw clenched and Gordon made a disapproving noise in
his throat. "Your lips are blue. I'll have to hold off on the taser for a bit."
He muttered, pinching Dean's cheeks with one hand and pushing his face this way
and that. "Let me look at that wound." Gordon said, glee dancing in his eyes
and Dean's jaw clenched even further, hatred radiating from every pore in his
body. He had known Gordon was unhinged but this? This was so far beyond what he
had thought Gordon to be capable of...
 
Gordon looked down at the two puncture wounds on Dean's side, right under his
ribcage and the red and blue blooming around them as the blood vessels ruptured
under the skin. It was beautiful, like a work of art. He wondered if he could
put more colors on that tanned skin. Gordon's lips turned down when he saw the
thin scabs covering the holes, stopping the bleeding. "This won't do." He
whispered, pinching at the thin skin with his nails and peeling it off. Dean
yelled, the reopened wounds hurting more than when he had gotten them.
 
"THE FUCK YOU ASSHOLE?!" Dean shouted and Gordon frowned.
 
"You'll have to learn to show me respect." He said before reaching for the
taser. Dean's eyes widened, only barely stopping himself from begging him not
to do it. Gordon put the taser on the lowest setting, then pressed the
electrodes back in the open wounds making Dean yelp from the sharp pain. "You
don't want me to punish you again. This time you won't pass out I promise you
that." Gordon hissed and stepped back, pulling the taser back and watching with
fascination as two thin lines of blood appeared and fell down Dean's side.
 
Dean took deep breaths, trying to ignore the pain in his side as he sat up,
pressing his face against the cool pipe and try to keep himself sitting up
without using his oblique muscles. That's when he saw who was on the bed.
 
"SAM! No. No. Oh God no. You can't do this. Not to Sammy. NO. Gordon!" Dean
started rambling, not believing that the unconscious body on the bed belonged
to his lover. "Please Gordon. Don't hurt Sammy, please." Dean whispered,
fingers clenching uselessly in their bind.
 
"I told you I'll have Sam for myself. And you get to watch." Gordon said with a
self-satisfied grin before he climbed on that bed and started pulling Sam's
clothes off.
 
"Don't touch him! I'll destroy you if you touch him!" Dean snarled, pain
forgotten as he forced his weak legs under him and started standing up, sliding
up the pipe so he could see Gordon and Sam better.
 
Sam was not tied down, which was strange, and there were syringes and other
things sitting on the bedside table that filled Dean with fear. Gordon ignored
Dean, only stopping when he had Sam naked as the day he was born. Almost with
reverence, he cupped Sam's cheek, leaning down and kissing his lips and Dean
growled from his spot, anger and fear and helplessness all mixing together.
 
"Sammy?" Gordon whispered softly as he reached for a syringe. There was pale
yellow liquid in it, and he wiped Sam's inner elbow with an alcohol pad before
easily emptying the syringe into Sam's blood.
 
"What are you giving him? What was that? Don't you dare hurt him!" Dean kept
yelling, feeling like he had been thrown into a pool full of icy water as he
watched his Sam's eyes open slowly.
 
"Wakey, wakey." Gordon said with a smile, pressing another kiss to Sam's cheek.
"Can you feel it? Can you feel it in you yet?" He asked, looking like a kid
waiting for his present on a Christmas morning.
 
"Sam. Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Dean asked, eyes stuck on Sam, waiting for
him to wake up fully.
 
When Sam regained consciousness, his mind was confused, he had a headache and
he felt slightly nauseous. He kept his eyes closed, not because he wanted to
but because he felt so weak that even opening his eyes felt like a huge effort.
 
"Sammy?" Someone whispered softly and Sam shifted his head slightly, his mind
trying to focus. The voice was somewhat familiar. Then something moist was
wiped against his inner elbow and then there was a small sting. The drug went
from his veins to his brain in about two seconds and he whimpered quietly as
his body was filled with warmth. The headache was gone slight nausea remained,
but the main feeling was only an incredible feeling of pleasure as the heroin
took him deeper and deeper into the haze even when his eyes opened slowly.
 
"What are you giving him? What was that? Don't you dare hurt him!" A yell, but
it sounded muffled too, like it came through a wall from another room or
something.
 
"Wakey, wakey." Another muffled voice.
 
"Can you feel it? Can you feel it in you yet?"
 
Gordon? What... What the hell? Where was he? What had happened? Sam tried to
focus but the drug clouded his mind and all he could do was writhe slightly as
the warmth turned into heat and the pleasure grew so high it was almost
unbearable.
 
"Sam. Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Now Sam recognized that voice. It was Dean.
What was Dean doing here...? Dean and Gordon... what...? God, everything was so
unclear and the heat was burning him and his breathing came out slow and deep,
and fuck, every inhale and exhale felt so good it was hard to breath.
Everything felt so good... perfect... just like when-
 
Sam tried to focus his gaze on Gordon but he saw everything in double. "You
bastard..." Sam whispered and Gordon grinned.
"Don't fight it, just take it. I know it feels good." Gordon bend down close to
Sam's ear. "So good, doesn't it?"
 
Then he licked Sam's cheek like a predator tasting it's prey, and Sam's mind
screamed but his body wasn't in his control, and God, Gordon was right, it felt
good, the heroin running through his veins, making him feel like he was
floating in crimson haze that was soft as silk and satin.
 
Gordon turned to look at Dean. "And now? You get a show of your life, but
first..." He got up, walked to Dean and smacked him in the face. "That's for
refusing me. Let's see how your 'boyfriend' likes it." Gordon chuckled.
"Bastard." Dean snarled, "Don't touch him or I swear to god..."
 
"I saw you two, in the pool during the cruise. I bet you love to hear Sam
screaming. Well, you'll hear it again in few minutes. Enjoy the show." Then he
turned around and walked back to bed, wrapping his arms around Sam and lifting
him into a sitting position.
 
"Told you I'll have you..." He muttered and Sam's body was like melted wax as
Gordon turned him on his stomach, face towards Dean.
 
"Dean..." Sam whispered but that was all he could manage out of his mouth. His
eyes felt heavy and his head lulled back and forth as he tried to keep looking
at Dean. Gordon grabbed his hips and lifted his ass up, and Sam tried to crawl
away but his body didn't obey him. "No..." Sam whispered weakly and closed his
eyes.
 
Raped, body full of heroin when he had been just fourteen... and it was
happening again.
He just knew it. "No, please, no..." Sam pleaded but Gordon just laughed and
yanked his head back from his hair.
 
"Oh yes. And you'll like it. You'll like it or you'll cry and like it." He let
go of Sam's hair and it fell back down. Gordon looked at Dean and kept his eyes
focused at him as he positioned himself against Sam with his other hand.
"Ready, Deano?" He asked, pushed himself inside Sam and Sam screamed.
 
Sam heard Dean yelling, then pleading and begging and Sam tried to look at him
but his face twisted into a grimace as Gordon pushed inside him again and again
and he buried his face against the sheet. And some part of him told him that he
couldn't look at Dean, not when...this...was done to him, in front of Dean...
God.
 
The heroin numbed the physical pain but the mental pain was different, even
with the drug. Memories rushed through his mind; a dirty alley, a man, how he
had been forced to the ground and the man had ripped his pants down before
turning him onto his stomach and...
 
'Don't think about it. Don't think about anything.'
 
Sam felt himself falling deeper into the haze and for a moment he thought that
Gordon might have put too much into the shot. His eyes were only slightly open,
the whites of them showing as his eyes rolled back and he had to fight to stay
awake. He barely realized it when Gordon pulled out and roughly turned him on
his back, getting on his knees and climbing higher until he was basically
sitting on Sam's face.
***** Neverending Nightmare *****

Author's notes: Even darker than the last chapter, my apologies. :(
***
===============================================================================
"That mouth... so fuckable. Keep watching, Deano, I've only got started."
Gordon's voice sounded muffled again and Sam was so drugged he couldn't move,
couldn't do anything, not even bite when Gordon pushed his cock into Sam's
mouth and started fucking it hard and brutal. All Sam could do was lay there
while the bastard kept raping his mouth after raping his ass. Gordon sped up,
held Sam's head with both hands and kept thrusting faster and faster until he
came, still slowly thrusting for a moment before pulling out. Gordon's words
made something inside Dean break. He felt so useless, so absolutely helpless
while his boyfriend, his lover, was raped in front of him and drugged and being
hurt. All he could do was watch. Pathetic.
 
Sam's head turned to the side and he coughed, Gordon's come dripping out of his
mouth as he gasped for air. "You alright, Sammy? Sammy? Talk to me baby." Dean
said hoarsely, eyes wet as he watched his love's abused body curling into
itself as Gordon petted his hair. Gordon petted Sam's hair like he was a well
behaving dog or something and got out of bed. He went back to Dean and looked
at him with a sly smile on his face. "I think I heard you saying you'll do
anything if I don't hurt Sam." His smile was crooked. "Well, there's actually
one thing you could do... I want you to fuck Sam while I fuck you." He turned
serious, his expression cruel. "I can get it up again in ten minutes and I'll
get another round. It's your choice if it's with you or with your precious
boytoy."
Dean's breath choked in his throat, air wheezing into his lungs as he realized
what was going to happen to him. But there was no choice. He'd do anything for
Sam, even if he was already late. Dean nodded, his movements a little jerkier
than usual and a lot more panicked. "Okay. Okay. I'll do it. I'll do whatever
you want. Just let Sam go. You can keep me, just let Sammy go. Please." Dean
swallowed again, his mouth dry and his tongue feeling twice it's size. "After
this, right now... let Sammy go... please let him go."
 
"We'll see." Gordon said with a grin, "Now I'm going to cut you out of that
duct tape, and if you try anything stupid then Sam will learn a whole different
definition of pain, I promise you that." He cut the tape off and stepped back,
letting Dean peel the remaining bits off his sensitive skin himself. "Strip."
Gordon commanded and Dean flushed, glaring at him as he started unbuttoning his
shirt as quickly as he could, wanting to just get it over with. "No, no, no."
Gordon said, clicking his tongue. "Go slow. Strip for me." He said, sitting
down beside Sam and putting a hand on Sam's chest, slowly kneading on breast
muscle, feeling the nipple rolling in his palm.
 
Dean flushed even deeper. He tried to slow his movements down, trying to be
smooth as he took his shirt off but he was too agitated and he was sure he
didn't make a pretty picture. Gordon was drunk on his embarrassment though, and
didn't mind all that much. As Dean pulled off his belt and let his pants fall
down, he hesitated only a moment on his boxer briefs and slipped them down as
well.
 
"Done?" Gordon asked, just to annoy because Dean was standing there with his
fists clenched, completely nude. "Great. Now turn around." He said, pinching
Sam's nipple distractedly as Dean tensed and then turned around, the blush
spreading over his shoulders and down his back, making the light sprinkle of
freckles stand out. "Now bend over and spread yourself for me." Gordon said and
Dean whirled around, angry because he was not someone's whore. He was not going
to bend down like that and-
 
Gordon viciously twisted the nipple between his fingers, forcing a cry from Sam
and Dean froze. "Alright! Alright!" He said, turning around again and with
hunched shoulders he bent over, reaching back and spreading his cheeks open.
Shame spread through his entire being because he could feel Gordon's eyes where
they were not wanted and Dean had never felt so dirty in his life.
 
"Look Sammy." Gordon said, grabbing Sam's hair and forcing him to look at Dean.
"Look at your Dean, look how beautiful he is." He said softly and Dean tensed,
standing up straight again. "I didn't tell you to stand up!" Gordon yelled and
just like that Dean bent over again, cutting off a sob because he had never
been this ashamed, this helpless. He refused to cry though. This was nothing.
Dean could handle much more than this. "He used to be mine, you know." He kept
talking to Sam, caressing his cheek. "So beautiful... I bet I was the last one
inside him." He said with a cruel grin. "Did I scare you off, Deano? Didn't
want another man inside you?" Gordon asked and the tensing of Dean's shoulders
was his only answer. "God you must be so tight." Gordon groaned, "come here and
get Sammy hard. I want to see you fuck him and I want to see him enjoy it."
 
Grateful to be standing straight again, Dean went to Sam's side, fists
clenching with the need to turn Gordon's face into a pulp.
 
"Hey Sammy." Dean said softly, lovingly, as he put one hand on Sam's cheek,
thumb caressing Sam's lips. "It's just me. I won't hurt you." He smiled,
kissing his lips and settling on his knees in between Sam's legs. "Just me,
Sam. You know me." He kept talking, hands traveling all over Sam's body,
playing with his nipples and caressing Sam's stomach, one hand reaching down
and circling Sam's limp cock, jerking him slowly. "Love you so much baby...
Love you." He said, leaning down and kissing Sam, trying to ignore Gordon
because Dean possibly could't fuck Sam if he wasn't hard and thinking of Gordon
got rid of any and all hope of an erection.
 
He tried to lose himself in Sam, pushing his tongue into Sam's mouth and
washing Gordon's taste out of him. He pressed closer, holding Sam against his
body and rocking slightly to try and get Sam hard, their groins pressed
together. "Come on Sam." Dean said, rocking more and even when he didn't know
if it was the effect of the drug or because of Dean, but he could feel Sam
begin to harden slowly. "You want me right? Let me love you. I'll make it so
good." Dean muttered against Sam's lips, and no matter how sick the situation
was, Dean's body was starting to react to Sam himself as he started to harden
against his boyfriend.
When Sam could finally breathe after almost choking on Gordon's come, the
oblivion took over him even when he tried to stay focused because Gordon was
getting up and Sam was so afraid that he'd do the same for Dean as he had done
to him. But the drug was too strong, and Sam had no idea how long it had been,
only realizing that Gordon was hurting him when suddenly Gordon yanked his hair
and forced him to look, and what he saw...
 
"No, don't, please don't, not him..." Sam begged weakly but Gordon ignored him
and instead started talking about Dean and Sam whispered 'fuck you' but Gordon
ignored that as well and pushed his head back against the sheet. Then he was
being touched again and he was sure Gordon would rape him again. But the touch
was gentle, and Sam knew those hands.
 
"Dean..." Sam whispered and opened his eyes to see Dean looking back at him,
hands caressing his body and it felt good, so good. Dean was between his legs
and kissing him and Sam wanted to drown in him and never get back to the
surface. He needed to feel Dean after what Gordon had done, like Dean's touch
could erase all the abuse that had been done to him. In his drugged mind he
didn't even realize that Gordon was in the room, beside them, watching.
 
"Come on Sam." Dean said, rocking more and Sam's hips bucked a little and he
was getting hard. "You want me right? Let me love you. I'll make it so good."
Dean muttered against Sam's lips and Sam felt Dean harden against him.
 
"Yeah..." Sam whispered. "Love you, want you..."
 
Then suddenly he was brought back to the harsh reality as Gordon's voice spoke
again. "Take him from behind. Or I will."
 
"Just do it..." Sam's brushed against Dean's. "It's just you and me. You and
me, no one else."
 
Gordon smiled smugly. Oh, he would show that boy how wrong he was. But first he
wanted to watch Dean sinking inside Sam, watch closely as that thick cock would
slide inside Sam's beautiful abused hole, and then, then he would have so much
fun it would make up all the shit Dean had put him through, and the hooker
would realize who was really controlling the game.
 
Sam lay on his stomach and lifted his hips a little, finding that he could move
a little better so the drug wasn't effecting that much anymore but still enough
to make him helpless. "I love you Dean." Sam said quietly.
 
"Get it on." Gordon commanded. He didn't want to wait any longer. He was
already hard and had moved so that he could see Dean's cock and Sam's ass, and
that hole was red and swollen and stretched open, just begging to be fucked
again.
 
"Do it..." Sam whispered to Dean. It would be over sooner if they did this and
maybe,just maybe, Gordon would let them go. "I want you. Want you inside me,
come inside me, filling me with your come..." He knew this had to be hard for
Dean so he tried talking dirty to get him forget that Gordon was there.
 
Sinking into Sam was a reprieve. Dean groaned at the familiarity of it,
wrapping his arms around Sam and going slow, deep because he didn't want Sam to
hurt any more than he already was. Sam's dirty talk helped but Dean just wanted
Sam to not be in pain, to just enjoy this. Slowly Dean started forgetting where
he was, Sam's hips rolling under him and his skin warm and slick with sweat.
Dean pushed in gently and set up a slow pace, and breathed a little harder,
concentrating to the feeling of his lover to forget everything else, and it
worked. Until.
 
Gordon watched Dean push inside Sam's abused hole and licked his lips. It
looked delicious, and for a while he just watched and caressed his cock slowly,
watching Dean slide in and out and the beautiful boy under him rolling his hips
like a whore he was. Then the temptation was too much and he quickly moved
behind those two and spread Dean's cheeks. Dean tried not to anticipate it...
it always hurt more when he tensed up. Figured he shouldn't have bothered
worrying because he was as tense as he was going to get and then suddenly he
was being ripped in half, scream stuck in his throat as he refused to let it
out. He'll only scare Sam further if he yelled. He tried to control his thrusts
into Sam, but it was beyond him. With every slam into him, Dean grunted in pain
and slammed forwards, his quickly softening cock pushing into Sam and he was
glad he was soft... at least he won't hurt Sam as much. Hearing the pain of
both of them was like sweetest music to Gordon's ears. He started fucking Dean
hard and fast. God, he loved dry fucks and Dean was so tight it was
unbelievable.
 
"Oh fuck..." Gordon groaned and kept hammering inside Dean. "I'm so glad I
didn't prep you."
 
Gordon's brutal pace forced Dean to sink inside Sam the same way, hard and
fast, and Sam felt tears falling from his eyes, not because of himself but
because of Dean.
 
This was a nightmare. When would it end?
Squeezing his eyes shut, Dean grabbed onto Sam's hips, trying to reduce the
impact of his body slamming into Sam's. "You're alright... y-you're alright
Sammy." Dean muttered into Sam's ear, kissing the shell softly as Gordon
slammed into him again and Dean couldn't stop a whimper escaping him. "You'll
be f-fine..."
 
Dean bit into his lip, trying to ride out the pain but Gordon was too big,
going too fast for him to relax or adapt to it. With a sick feeling, Dean felt
something warm and wet running down his leg and he hoped he hadn't ripped
something. "Stay r-really still, S-Sammy..." Dean said, voice trembling as he
put one hand on Sam's back and pushed him down flat against the mattress. He
waited for Gordon to slam into him again, and when he was seated the deepest
inside Dean he twisted, wrapping an arm around Gordon's head and throwing
himself to the side, taking Gordon with him.
 
Surprised, Gordon went down like a sack of potatoes, ripping out of Dean who
gave a cry at the sharp pain as they landed off the bed and down on the carpet.
 
"What the hell?" Gordon started but Dean was getting his shaky legs under him,
trying to stand up. His ass burned horribly, sharp needles of pain running up
to his spine with every movement but he tried to get himself to ignore it,
instead focusing on beating Gordon up. He curled one hand into a fist, swinging
it at Gordon who grabbed it easily, face twisted in a snarl. "You shouldn't
have done that." He hissed.
 
"Sam! Run!" Dean yelled as Gordon pulled him down, twisting his arm around and
forcing it up until Dean gasped with pain.
 
"You move, and I'll kill him." Gordon threatened Sam without looking at him.
 
"I can take care of myself. Run, Sammy!" Dean forced out before he yelled,
Gordon forcing his arm up even more.
 
"Stay where you are, or I'll fuck him till his insides are shredded then break
every bone in his body, one by one." Gordon snarled, forcing Dean into a
standing position and throwing him face first onto the bed. Dean immediately
started trying to get his knees under him, to sit up and defend himself but
Gordon twisted his fingers into Dean's hair and slammed his head into the
headboard, watching as Dean went limp. "Oh fuck don't die already." Gordon
rolled his eyes, annoyed at the prospect of his fun cut short. He flipped Dean
onto his back, smiling when he saw Dean's slack expression and glazed eyes.
Dean was slowly looking around, confusion written all over his features.
 
"Goddammit." Gordon muttered, having lost his erection. He looked up at Sam as
he grabbed Dean's hair and forced his face towards Sam. "Fuck his mouth. He's a
little out of it so make sure you get nice and deep inside." Gordon said,
sitting back and fondling himself as he pushed Dean's legs apart, looking at
the bloody mess of Dean's hole and fuck if that wasn't hot. This time he'll use
Dean's own blood as lube, then have Sam lick his cock clean once he was done.
 
He loved having his toys.
Sam was trembling, the effect of the drug fading so that it didn't numb the
pain anymore but he still couldn't control his body, and he prayed to God that
he would gain that control soon. Feeling the hard thrusts made him bite his lip
to keep quiet. It was like Gordon was raping him all over again, but it was so
much worse this time because Gordon used Dean as a tool of the rape, and God,
he was hurting Dean... Sam wanted to scream. Dean spoke quietly, tried to
comfort him but it only made him feel worse because he could hear the pain in
Dean's voice. Could feel Dean growing soft which eased the pain but didn't make
him feel any better because he knew that it was happening because of what
Gordon was doing.
 
And then everything happened fast. Suddenly Sam was alone in the bed and Dean
and Gordon were on the floor, and Sam managed to almost sit up and managed to
see how Dean took a swing at Gordon but Gordon blocked the hit. "You shouldn't
have done that." Gordon hissed and Sam was suddenly filled with fear. No. No,
no, no... Gordon twisted Dean's arm behind Dean's back. Dean told him to run
but even without Gordon threatening to kill Dean if he ran, he wouldn't have
left Dean there alone with Gordon, and besides he was still so out of it that
he couldn't have run even if he wanted to, he could barely get up enough to
lean his elbows on the bed and raise his upper body.
 
"Fuck you you sick asshole!" Sam yelled when Gordon threw Dean back to bed and
slammed his head against the headboard. Sam's eyes widened with terror. Dean
looked... dead. And Gordon's words...
 
"No..." Sam whispered, voice choked with fear and sighed out of relief when
Dean moved, even when Gordon had turned Dean around and Sam didn't even want to
think what he'd do next... Then he saw the blood.
 
"I'll kill you." He snarled to Gordon. "I'll kill you, I swear to God, even if
it's the last thing I do."
 
"Go ahead and try." Gordon replied, sounding bored. "I'm really scared,
considering that you can't even walk." There was a small pause. "Goddammit."
Gordon muttered, having lost his erection, and then looked up at Sam as he
grabbed Dean's hair and forced his face towards Sam. "Fuck his mouth. He's a
little out of it so make sure you get nice and deep inside." Gordon said,
sitting back and fondling himself as he pushed Dean's legs apart. Sam just
stared at Gordon with eyes full of hate. Then he looked at Dean who had a cut
on his forehead, his eyes were glazed and Sam's rage got stronger.
 
"No." He said, staring back at Gordon. "Go ahead, kill me. Kill him. You'll
only do us a favor."
 
Gordon raised his brows. "Aren't you suddenly feisty." He smiled sickly. "But
we both know how to make you more... inclined." Gordon reached out to the
bedside table and took a syringe. "Did you think I only had one shot? Oh no,
I'm planning on keeping you. Now let's get you relaxed..."
 
Sam tried to struggle when Gordon grabbed his arm and forced him to turn it but
Gordon was too strong and Sam was too weak. Gordon pushed the needle inside
Sam's vein and looked at him with a smile that was almost gentle. "Don't worry,
I've studied. You're not gonna die of overdose. I wouldn't want that to happen,
not when we're having so much fun."
 
"Go to hell." Sam gritted between his teeth before Gordon emptied the syringe
and everything drowned in crimson haze again.
Sam's eyes were open but he didn't really see anything. The drug was running
through his veins like liquid fire and he had no idea of the outside world,
just faint noises and images. He heard distant voices and tried to focus but he
couldn't. Some part of his brain realized that the dose had been bigger than
the first one. He couldn't move, his eyes were open but darkness crept around
his vision and threatened to pull him into unconsciousness.
 
Hadn't Gordon said that he had studied and there would be no overdose? Yes, Sam
was pretty sure of that but his mind was blurry and incoherent and he wanted to
close his eyes and sleep. He forced himself to stay awake. Had Gordon
considered the fact that Sam had been clean for years and a normal dose of
heroin could kill him?
 
Sam had no idea that his breathing was getting slower and slower until it was
just a wheeze and his eyes started to flutter close. He felt like falling, but
this time it wasn't into crimson, it was into black. There was darkness that
tried to swallow him.
 
He didn't have a clue of the moment he lost consciousness and stopped
breathing.
Dean knew something was wrong when Sam's body felt like deadweight as he pulled
him closer. "Sammy?" He called, shuffling away from Gordon who was basking in
his afterglow. "Oh god, Sammy..." Dean's voice was choked, headache pulsing
between his eyes but he didn't care. Sam wasn't moving, wasn't breathing,
wasn't... oh god. Oh god if Gordon killed him...
 
"SAMMY!" Dean yelled, forgetting all his pains and his weakness as he grabbed
Sam's shoulders, shaking him hard. Sam didn't respond.
 
"What's going on?" Gordon asked, bored.
 
Dean didn't answer. He looked at Sam saw he wasn't breathing and wasn't
responding and all he could think was 'He's dead. He's dead. He's dead.' His
head spun, something in his chest caving as memories flashed in front of his
eyes. Seeing Sam for the first time on the roadside, fucking him that first
time, kissing him, tasting him... he thought of Sam's warm, deep voice, his
hazel eyes, his beautiful mouth... he remembered how it had felt to run his
fingers through Sam's hair, to hold Sam's hand, to kiss him for hours. Gordon
had taken all that away from him.
 
The resulting wave of anger and sadness and inconsolable loss was so great that
Dean shut down. All emotions locked up as he held Sam's still body in his
hands, Sam's face pressed against Dean's chest.
 
"What's wrong with him?" Gordon asked again, more curious now.
 
"You killed him." Dean said quietly, looking down on Sam's passive features,
pushing away one sweaty lock of hair falling into Sam's eyes. He let his hand
linger on Sam's skin, memorizing the feel of it. "You killed him." He said
again.
 
"Has his heart stopped?" Gordon asked, having read up on heroin overdose. He
hadn't planned on having his toys die so soon after all. Dean didn't answer
him, just held Sam close. "Let me see, Dean." Gordon started grabbing for Sam
but Dean snapped a hand forward, grabbing Gordon's wrist so tightly the bones
rubbed against each other.
 
"Don't. Touch. Him." He gritted out, eyes never leaving Sam's face.
 
"Your choice." Gordon shrugged. "If he's just stopped breathing then we can
bring him back. But if you want him to die so badly..." Gordon grabbed Dean's
hand and twisted it off his wrist, but Dean didn't even flinch.
 
Dean blinked slowly, contemplating the idea that Sam could be saved. Using
Dean's blankness in his favor, Gordon grabbed the skin on Sam's side and
twisted viciously, leaving an angry, red mark and had Sam gasping awake, taking
a deep choked breath.
 
"Sammy...?" Dean looked down on Sam's gasping frame and he felt relief so
strong it turned into nausea. He started laughing, clutching at Sam and
pressing him to his frame. He didn't even care that Gordon was inches away from
him. He had Sam back, and he wasn't going to let Gordon touch him again.
Suddenly there was light. And pain as Sam's lungs filled with air again after
not breathing for few minutes. He gasped and trembled, out of place and time
with no idea what had just happened.
 
"Sammy...?" He recognized Dean's voice and tried to say something back but then
Dean was laughing hysterically, pressing him against Sam and the touch felt so
good Sam wanted to close his eyes and fall asleep again.
 
"Sam!" Came Gordon's sharp voice from not very far and Sam flinched. "Don't
close your eyes. You'll only stop breathing again and I'll have to bruise you.
If you don't stay awake, I'm going to give you a shot of meth. You've done meth
too, right?"
 
Sam frowned slightly. "What... why..."
 
"So maybe the dose was a bit too big. I think I'll give you a shot of speed
anyway. At least it'll keep your heart from stopping because you're not going
to die here, that would be a mess."
Dean just tightened his arms around Sam, protectiveness flaring inside him.
"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM!" Dean roared, curling around Sam and hiding his face
from Gordon. "You're not giving him anything. He's fine. He'll be fine." Dean
muttered, eyes trained on Sam's face. "Don't sleep, Sammy. Don't close your
eyes. Please. Just look at me, just keep looking at me." Dean said softly, one
arm wrapped under Sam's neck to cradle his head to Dean's chest while the other
rubbed up and down Sam's arm soothingly. "I'll get you out of here. Gordon's
not going to touch you again, I promise."
 
Gordon rolled his eyes at the over-dramatic moment. Geez, the situation hadn't
gone THAT out of control! And all that talk of getting Sam out of there and
whatnot. That wasn't happening. Gordon wasn't done. Not by a long shot.
"Listen, Dean." Gordon said, his patience running out. "You can take a chance
that he stops breathing again and also, his heart might stop and unless you
have a defibrillator hidden somewhere in your pockets..." He didn't have to
finish his sentence. He knew now how scared Dean of losing his precious
boyfriend and his fear was so sweet Gordon could almost taste it in his mouth.
"It's just a little amphetamine. Keeps his heart beating. I don't have
adrenalin but speed will do the same trick. So unless you really want to take
that chance that Sam might die, you'll move now."
 
Oh, this was just so good. And the amphetamine shot would bring the boy back to
reality enough to feel and realize what was happening, but the heroin would
keep him tamed. Perfect.
 
Gordon took another syringe and took Sam's limp arm, patting the inner elbow
few times to make the veins stand up. "He has good veins." Gordon said,
shrugging. "For an ex-junkie." Gordon then pushed the needle under Sam's skin
and waited until he saw a drop of blood mixing to the solution in the syringe
so that he knew it was inside the vein. "Here we go..." He muttered and slowly
emptied the syringe and in seconds the bloodstream carried the drug to Sam's
brain and his eyes flew open. As soon as Gordon was done injecting Sam, Dean
pulled his arm back and cradled it against Sam's body. He didn't trust Gordon,
not even a little, but right then he knew Gordon didn't want Sam to die so he
was willing to let him give Sam whatever. But now that he was done, Gordon
wasn't touching his love again.
 
"Welcome back to the real world." Gordon said and smiled. this was going to be
so much better now that the boy was in his senses.
The world was spinning until it suddenly cleared. Sam was still high as a kite
but he could see better, feel better.
 
"Sam? You okay, buddy?" Dean asked softly, holding one of Sam's hands to his
lips and kissing the knuckles softly. Sam closed his eyes and swallowed and
then opened them again. Sam looked at him, eyes confused.
 
"Yeah, I think..." He answered. Dean nodded, knowing the question was stupid
but he just needed to hear Sam's voice. Needed to hear that Sam was alive and
breathing and there. And Sam was pretty sure he was okay. His body hurt,
especially-- Sam closed his eyes and swallowed. The ache of his jaw reminded
him about how Gordon had used him like a sex doll, and the pain between his
legs... Sam swallowed again and opened his eyes. "I'm fine." He assured. "You?
Are you okay?" What a stupid question. Of course Dean wasn't okay. Gordon, that
bastard had... And Dean wasn't used to it. Sam had hustled for years and it
hadn't always been nice and he had been hurt more than once, but Dean...
 
Sam had to make sure that Gordon wouldn't touch Dean again. He would do
whatever Gordon asked him to do, just as long as the bastard wouldn't touch
Dean.
 
"I love you." Sam said, looking into Dean's eyes. "Whatever happens,I love you,
remember that."
"Love you too. God, so much." Dean whispered, tightening his arms around Sam.
 
"It's like watching a bad soap opera." Gordon stated. "Everything is so sickly
sweet it gives you a toothache but yet you can't look away." He said with a
cruel half grin, leaning back and poking at his cock, flicking flakes of dried
blood off.
 
"Just... fuck off Gord." Dean muttered, the years old nickname slipping out
without thought.
 
"Oh wow. I had forgotten that name. Only you ever called me that, Deano. Nice
to see we've come a full circle." Gordon said, reaching out and touching Dean's
leg where it was pressed up against Sam's and then with the other hand he
grasped Sam's thigh. Dean's eyes flashed and he grabbed Gordon's hand, ripping
it off of Sam's leg.
Sam still felt weird but he was coherent enough to realize that Gordon had
pumped him full of chemicals, apparently clearly knowing he had been hooked on
them, and that made him furious. And now that his head was a bit clearer, he
also realized that Gordon had to know they would go to the police as soon as
they got out of there. They wouldn't get out, not alive. But for some reason he
wasn't afraid. Not until he heard what Dean said to Gordon.
 
"Do what you want to me. Leave Sam alone." Dean growled and Gordon smirked,
twisting his grip so that he was holding Dean's hand instead, in a parody of
the affectionate gesture.
"No!" Sam tried to get up but only managed to brace his elbows against the
mattress. "Not him. I'm the one you want, right? Then come and get me, I'm
right here. See?" Sam spread his legs a bit. "Right here. Wanna fuck me again?"
Sam smiled challengingly. "I know you want to. Wanna fuck me so deep I can feel
you in my throat? Yeah, do it. Come on." God, the things that came out of his
mouth made him sick but he would do anything, anything to protect Dean.
 
Gordon smiled smugly. "I knew it. Once a whore, always a whore."
 
"Yeah, that's right." Sam smiled crookedly, sweaty bangs plastered against his
skin. "I'm a whore. Then why don't you treat me like one? You know hookers are
only good for one thing. And I've never left anyone unsatisfied. I'm good with
what I do."
 
Gordon chuckled. The boy was feisty again, he could see the fire burning in
those drugged eyes, and he also knew that Sam was a damn good actor. Had to be
if had been whoring for years and taking it from anyone who was willing to pay.
 
"I think I might accept your offer." Gordon said and suddenly yanked Dean to
the other end of the bed and taking advantage of surprise snapped hidden
shackles around Dean's wrists.
"Stop fooling around, come here and show me what you've got." Sam forced a
seductive smile on his face.
 
Gordon knew that the boy was acting to save his precious boyfriend, but that
didn't lessen the fact that it was damn hot to see the object of his lust like
that, legs spread, all sweaty and simply fuckable. Talking dirty, obscene words
spilling out of a mouth that just begged to be fucked. Sam's mouth looked so
fucking delicious stretched around his cock...
"Gordon! STOP! You promised me! You said you won't hurt him!" Dean yelled,
lying down flat and trying to kick out at Gordon, but he was too far away and
his kicks were weak. Gordon easily held his ankle down with one hand while his
other hand pushed into Sam. "NOOO!!" Dean screamed at the same time as Sam
gasped. Then Gordon left his leg to jerk Sam off and Dean squeezed his eyes
shut. He couldn't push his hands against his ears though and he heard
everything.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Gordon grunted irritatedly, but drew
his fingers out of Sam and pulled the robe around himself, going to the door.
He opened it just few inches, there was silent words exchanged, and when Gordon
finally closed the door he looked even more irritated. Until he looked at Dean
and Sam, and a cruel smile appeared on his face. “Looks like there's something
I gotta take care of,” he said, “but don't worry boys, I will be back and then
we're gonna have some real fun. Plus I'm tired and because I'm not a cruel man,
I'll let you sleep for few hours too. I want you both ready and frisky when I
get back." Gordon looked at the sheets that were messed with sweat, blood and
come. "I guess this bed suits a whore just fine. And a whore's lover."
Gordon let Dean loose and Dean only resisted a little when Gordon took
handcuffs and cuffed him to the headboard instead, even when all he wanted to
do was punch Gordon's lights out but he was simply too weak to do anything.
Then Gordon ripped the duct tape off of Dean's wrists, told them goodnight and
left. Sam heard how the door was locked from the outside.
Neither of them said anything, just too relieved to have at least a moment's
break from this nightmare. Gordon left and just like that Sam and Dean were
left alone in the room.
 
"Stay quiet." Sam whispered to Dean and listened carefully. When he was sure
that Gordon was gone and not listening outside the floor, he smiled a small,
bitter smile. "That asshole doesn't know everything about me, otherwise he
never would've cuffed me. He would've used rope or ducttape..." Dean cracked an
eye open at that, curiosity and hope building in him at the words. Sam could
get out of cuffs? He watched as Sam fiddled with the cuffs.
"Sam..." Dean said, worried.
 
Sam pulled the cuffs until they were tight around his wrists, then bit his
teeth, only letting out a small muffled grunt of pain as he jerked his hand
lower so hard he dislocated his thumb and his hand was free. He took few deep
breaths and then did the same with his other hand. When Sam's thumb popped out
Dean jerked awake, seeing the pain flashing on Sam's face. "Don't worry..." He
whispered to Dean before with another pained grunt he pressed his thumbs
against the headboard to snap them on place. "I kinda had to do this few times
when I was younger and things got nasty with a... client." Dean swallowed
thickly, hating hearing about the things Sam had to go through before he met
Dean...
Sam raised himself up to a sitting position and bent over Dean. "We're getting
out of here, I promise. Just stay calm and quiet. I need something to pick your
cuffs open. a pin, paper clip, anything. I'm gonna look around the room. Gonna
be okay for a moment? I'm right here."
"I'm alright. Go." Dean said softly, sitting up. The prospect of home was very
inviting, but not the home he knew right now. He wanted home. For the first
time in several years, he wanted his Mom. He wanted his Dad. He wanted to sleep
in the bed he grew up in and he wanted to just leave everything behind for a
few days.
 
He'll take Sam with him. Let his Mom fuss over him too. Sam would like his
Mom's cookies, he was sure of it.
 
Sam kissed him quickly and started to move around the room quietly as a thief.
Now that he wasn't really drugged anymore, his senses were high and adrenaline
filled his body. It also made the pain more intense than before, but the pure
instinct to survive and get them both into safety kept him going. He looked
around the room, eyes scanning it for something, anything made of metal that
could be used as a lock pick. The drawer of the bedroom table was empty except
for the roll of duct tape and several syringes filled with liquid, others
totally clear, others slightly yellowish. Amphetamine and heroin.
 
Gordon, you stupid bastard...
 
Sam took one of the syringes, pulled the needle off and threw the rest away.
Then he hurried to free Dean. "I checked the lock on the door. I can get it
open. I don't think Gordon thought we'd ever make it this far." He talked
quietly as he picked open first one lock and then another, letting Dean free.
"I know, I used to be a thief too. You can lecture me later. Come on." Sam
helped Dean up. "Get dressed. Your clothes are still on the floor. I found mine
next to the bed."
 
Getting dressed was painful and underwear was out of the question, but finally
Sam managed to pull on his jeans and a t-shirt, abandoned his socks and simply
pulled his shoes on. Being clothed helped a lot and Dean felt a lot less
vulnerable as he pushed his feet into his loafers, smiling a little bitterly as
he remembered pushing his feet into these same loafers yesterday and not having
any idea this would happen to him.
 
He would have worn more comfortable clothes if he had.
Sam proceeded to open the lock and Dean could see the tremble in Sam's hands,
the shaking of Sam's legs... it made him want to go to Sam's side and help him
but he didn't know how to... and he didn't want to do anything right then other
than fall deep asleep, preferably in his own bed.
 
Picking up the lock was a bit harder than the cuffs that were a piece of cake
since one; they were from some sex shop, and two; sex shop handcuffs were
almost possible to pick open with your hair. Thank God for small mercies
because if they had been real cuffs, he wouldn't had any other choice than tell
Dean to bite the pillow and dislocate his thumbs too.
 
His hands ached, joints of his thumbs felt like rusted metal and he felt the
exhaustion, dehydration and after effects of the drug make him shiver with
weakness.
 
'Don't give up. You gotta keep going. Do it for Dean.'
 
Finally the lock opened, thankfully quietly, and Sam gestured Dean to be quiet
as he listened again. "Clear." He whispered and then thought of something. He
rushed back to the drawer, took the syringes that contained heroin and came
back to Dean. "Don't worry, these are not for me." He whispered and stepped
into the dark corridor that led to stairs. He hesitated for a moment before his
hand grabbed the handle on the top of the stairs, and just how he had expected
there was a guard behind it. Sam moved on autopilot, grabbed the guards neck
and pressed his aching thumbs on both sides of the guard's neck. As Sam's
thumbs cut the bloodstream to the man's brain, he dropped in just few seconds.
Sam took a syringe, pulled the man's sleeve up and injected him.
 
"He won't get up for a while." Sam said quietly and looked around. Dean looked
down on the guard, surprised at how easily Sam had taken him down... and Dean
realized how little he knew about Sam...
Sam had moved so fast he hadn't have time to pay attention to where they was.
Now he realized, and the realization made his blood run cold.
 
They were standing on a deck of a boat. As far as eye could see, there was
nothing but dead calm water around.
 
"Fuck..." Sam whispered.
Dean didn't say anything. He just went to the railing and looked down into the
black water. They were trapped. They couldn't go anywhere. They didn't even
know what direction land was in so even swimming was out of question...
 
"We're going to die here." Dean said softly, voice blank. He sighed once,
turning around and going to Sam's side. His tongue felt too big in his mouth
and his legs wobbled every time he shifted his weight, the wounds and tears
inside him lighting on fire with every movement. He considered every possible
scenario... every possible thing he could do to get at least Sam out...
 
"I love you." Dean said, reaching up and tangling his fingers in Sam's hair as
he pressed a kiss to the corner of Sam's mouth. "I've never felt about another
person the way I've felt about you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life
waking up next to you." He whispered, kissing Sam's lips this time.
"Me too." Sam said quietly, the finality of the situation hitting him like a
fist to the face. "All the things I wanted us to experience together..." He
kissed Dean softly. "I love you more than my life."
"I need you to sit down. Here. Just stay. Here. Please." Dean begged, pushing
Sam to sit down on a built in seat near the wall. "Please stay here. I'll be
back, alright?" He pressed another kiss to Sam's lips, drinking in the feel of
Sam's mouth against his own before he turned and headed to the second door next
to the one the guard had been guarding.
Time to pay Gordon a visit.
“Where are you going?” Sam asked, worry clearly visible in his eyes.
“Don't worry about it.” Dean tried to sound calm and convincing. “I'll be right
back. Sam,if you've ever trusted me with anything, please trust me in this.”
 
"You better make good of that promise." Sam swallowed. "You'll come back. If we
go down, we go down together." Sam swallowed again. "Be careful."
 
Dean vanished through the door and Sam closed his eyes, hoping that Dean had
some kind of plan. God, he was so tired, so thirsty. Hunger had came and went,
he didn't even feel it anymore, but he definitely felt the pain.
 
After a while Sam heard footsteps and a flicker of hope inside him prayed it
was Dean. But it wasn't, it was another guard who noticed the one Sam had taken
down and then drilled his eyes on Sam. "You little piece of shit..." The guard
growled. "If you killed him I'm gonna rip you to pieces and feed to fishes..."
 
Sam opened his mouth to say that the man would be alright in few hours, but he
didn't get a chance, the man moved fast, grabbed Sam's shirt and yanked him up
before throwing him hard down on the deck. Sam hit his head and for a moment
the world was spinning, and then a heavy boot kicked him on the ribs, making
him roll over with the force of it. Sam curled into a fetal position, trying to
cover his head as the guard kept kicking him again and again, until the pain
was just too much and the synapses of Sam's brain got overloaded, forcing him
into sweet unconsciousness.
***** Please Hold On A Little Longer *****
In Winchester Corp, Dean's secretary Jo Harvelle frowned as she looked at the
time and wondered where her boss was, and if he was even coming in. Dean always
called if he was sick, which was rare, so Jo wondered if he was okay.
 
Looking around, she dialed her boss' cell number, hearing it ring but no
answer. She frowned and dialed his home number, staying on there until she got
sick of hearing the ringing.
 
Dean wasn't picking up.
 
Well... she'll worry if he doesn't show up tomorrow. Maybe he just took the day
off?
Few hours later, still worried, Jo checked the logs about Winchester's entrance
and departure.
Huh. Dean left around noon yesterday... didn't come back.
 
She dialed the security.
 
*
 
The phone rung late one evening, and Mary called from the kitchen to ask John
to pick up the phone. John sighed, muting the football game on the TV to pick
up the phone.
"Hello?" John's gruff voice said into the phone and Mary listened, elbow deep
in cake batter. "Speaking... No we haven't... No... Nothing... Wait... when?...
How long?... Hm... A WHAT?!... Dean can defend himself he's not just some weak
little girl who'd..."
 
Mary felt something heavy drop in her stomach.
 
"Yes... Witness?... Alright. I'll be there." John put the phone down and stood
there, leaning on the table for long painful moments.
 
Mary's heart thudded deep in her chest. "John... who was that?"
 
"The police." John said softly.
 
Mary's breath stuck in her throat. "Police?"
 
"Dean... Dean's missing..." John whispered.
 
"What?"
 
"Since yesterday. They have a witness who said she saw two men grab him and
throw him into a car." John said, turning around and eyes flashing with anger.
"He'll be fine, Mary. He'll be fine."
 
Mary's eyes blurred with tears as she leaned against a nearby wall. "Oh god...
my son..." She whispered and John went to her side, hugging her as she started
crying.
 
*
 
"You need to tell me exactly what you saw." John said next morning, having
tracked the witness down, a girl named Andrea Robin, to her home.
 
"I already told the police everything..."
 
"I know. But please. He's my son." John said, shuffling on her porch and Andrea
sighed, opening the door and letting him in. And there John pulled out every
information she had, even tiniest details, because too rarely people understood
how important tiny details were.
The license number and description of the car that had drove away with his son
was a victory. When John got out, he called his old friend.
 
"Hey Caleb?"
 
"John! Buddy! Long time no see?"
 
"Mind running some numbers for me?"
 
"Still no nonsense huh? Fine Johnny. What do you need?"
 
"Find me who is registered to JHB563."
 
"I'm on it."
 
John knew he could always trust Caleb. The guy never made stupid questions that
were just a waste of time, just got to work, because if John called, it usually
was a matter of life and death. They had met in Vietnam and kept in touch ever
since.
 
*
 
On the boat, Dean went to the door that was the most heavily guarded. Gordon
was in there, probably.
 
"I'm here to see Gordon." Dean said to guards who had jumped up and pushed two
guns against his temples. Dean didn't care. "Tell him I'm here. He'll want to
see me." Dean added tiredly while one of them called his cell phone and
informed Gordon he was here. Slowly they dropped their guns and Dean pushed
open the door to the lavish bedroom, Gordon lying in bed in the middle of a
velvet and silk.
 
"Miss me already?" He said, looking sleepy and satisfied, not even a little
surprised Sam and Dean got out.
 
"I have a deal to make."
 
"Sure you do." Gordon said, crossing his arms under his head and looking at
Dean closely.
 
"You can have me. However you want, for as long as you want. I won't fight it.
In exchange you let Sam go." Dean said and Gordon raised an eyebrow.
 
"I already have you, and Sam. And you want me to give him up? Not smart,
Deano." He said with a chuckle.
 
"No. You don't have me." Dean said as he pulled his shirt off, climbing into
bed with Gordon who was looking interested. "Imagine me kissing you..." Dean's
voice was low, leaning close to nip at Gordon's lips but not give him a proper
kiss. "Imagine me touching you... loving you... you want that, right?" Dean
whispered, pressing one hand on Gordon's stomach and rubbing slow soothing
circles. "I'll be yours forever. I'll be your whore, your ragdoll, your lover.
I'll be anything and everything." Dean tilted his head, pressing a kiss behind
Gordon's ear as he pressed his body closer to Gordon's, letting his arms come
up and wrap themselves around Dean's back and waist. "Don't you want that?" He
breathed into Gordon's ear. All this made him feel sick in his stomach, but if
this was the only way to save Sam... then Dean was ready to do it.
 
It had been him who had brought Sam to Gordon's attention at the first place.
Guess it was true then; nothing good became without a price tag.
 
Gordon was interested, so interested... Dean could see. And he had to keep him
distracted so he won't have too much time to think. So Dean steeled himself and
gave Gordon the blowjob of his life, knowing from all the moaning and thrashing
and way he just forced himself into Dean's mouth over and over again. It felt
like a deal being made, and Dean couldn't regret it.
 
"Sam stays unharmed until we dock. Then he goes, and I stay. Deal?" Dean said
once he was done, trying not to get sick around the taste of Gordon in his
mouth. He wanted Sam's taste there, he wanted to taste no one else for the rest
of his life, and here he was with Gordon's come in his stomach making him want
to throw up and his face smelling like semen.
 
"Let's go pay a visit to the little idiot shall we?" Gordon said instead,
getting up and pulling black slacks on and then he reached for Dean, grabbing
his arm and dragging him bodily. Dean stayed pliant. Gordon liked it when he
thought he had broken someone.
 
"SAM!" Dean yelled when he saw Sam's unconscious form, the guard kicking him
repeatedly. "Get away from him you fucker!" Dean pushed away Gordon's arm and
rushed to Sam's side. He reared his fist back and hit the guard as hard as he
could, which wasn't too much at the moment but the guard was stunned at least.
 
"Boyle, what have I said about your violent streak?" Gordon admonished as the
guard noticed him there.
 
"The bastard hurt Chris!" He pointed out the prone body and Gordon rolled his
eyes.
 
"And you thought you could go ahead and beat on my toys?" Gordon's eyes were
narrowed. Dean got to his knees beside Dean and brushed his bangs aside, seeing
the damage with a hitch of his breath.
 
"Hey Sammy. I'm here. See?" He said softly, pulling Sam's unconscious body up
so that he was leaning against Dean.
 
Gordon rolled his eyes at the affection. It was so fucking sweet it gave him a
toothache. "Bring him here. Let him sleep it off." Gordon said as he lead his
way to the fallen guard, stepping over him. Dean struggled with Sam's body
weight but managed to get his one arm wrapped around Dean's shoulders as he
held him up.
 
He followed Gordon down to the 'basement' again, the bed in a horrible mess of
blood and come staining it everywhere.
 
"Lay him down." Gordon said to Dean who shook his head.
 
"There? No. I won't put him there."
 
"Why? He's suddenly too good for it? That whore." Gordon said pointedly and
Dean growled.
 
"Stop calling him that! And yes, he's too good for it. Get it cleaned up." Dean
snapped and Gordon's eyes narrowed. He marched to Dean's side, slapping him so
hard that Dean stumbled.
 
"Watch what you say to me, or I will have Sam thrown into the engine room and
left there to rot." Gordon threatened and Dean sighed, dragging Sam to the bed
and finding a relatively clean spot to lay him down on.
 
"He needs food, and water." Dean said, quieter this time. "And I want to stay
here till he wakes up."
 
"What you want doesn't matter." Gordon said easily and Dean nodded.
 
"Please? Can I?" Dean asked, hating himself for begging but not seeing any way
out of this.
 
"Fine. As soon as he's awake, you come to me, alright?" Gordon barked and Dean
nodded again.
 
As Gordon started leaving, he smiled slyly. Dean should know better than to
trust him. Once Gordon found a toy, he didn't let them go. And Dean really
thought that Gordon was about to let Sam just walk away? When they had just
started! The thought almost made him laugh.
 
The first thing Sam became aware of was pain. The kind of pain like he had
fought against a cement truck... and lost. He had no idea where he was, his
last memories were from the deck when Dean...
 
"Dean!" Sam gasped and sat up, the pain on his back and ribs making him fall
right back against the mattress. "Dean..."
 
Sam knew he had at least two broken ribs, but breathing didn't really hurt that
much so the bone hadn't pierced a lung, thank God. He remembered the guard
coming on deck, the eyes that were full of fury, and the next thing he
remembered was laying on the deck, trying to protect himself. After that?
Nothing.
 
The smell of the room told him exactly where he was. Back in the basement. And
now, even if he tried, he was simply too beaten to even get out of bed. Maybe
that's why he didn't have shackles or handcuffs on.
 
He tasted blood in his mouth, could feel how his body was bruised all over, and
every time he tried to move, the pain got so unbearable he couldn't do anything
but lay there, unmoving, a terrible fear carving his insides.
 
"Dean... You promised to come back..." Sam whispered, one lonely tear falling
down his cheek, and even that hurt. Sam's mind provided all kinds of things
that could have happened to Dean. God, was he even alive? If not, Sam didn't
see a reason to live either.
 
Dean had left for only a moment. He'd gone up, asking Gordon for water and some
pain meds for Sam. Gordon had been too accommodating, almost like he was
planning something and that scared Dean.
 
He didn't try to pull it out of him though, he was more worried about his lover
lying unconscious in the basement. So he hurried back, finding Sam lying on his
back and awake.
 
"Sammy! Thank god. How're you feeling, baby?" Dean said, worry washing away at
the sight of Sam awake and... was he crying? Dean ran to his side, a bottle of
water in his hand and pills clutched in the other. He sat down next to Sam,
brushing the one tear away from his cheek with a thumb.
 
"Don't cry. Please don't cry." Dean whispered, his own throat closing up on him
at the sight. "I'll fix everything. Don't worry. You'll get out of here I
promise." He said softly, heart twisting in his chest at the way Sam looked so
weak, so tired, so... hurt...
 
And he was going to go sleep with the man who did this to his love. How sick
was that? But it ensured Sam's survival, and that's all that mattered.
 
"We'll get out of here." Sam corrected, reaching out his hand to touch Dean's.
"We're both getting out."
Dean swallowed thickly, not knowing how to explain to Sam that no, they weren't
getting out but Sam was. Dean tightened his grip around Sam's hand for a moment
before pulling away.
 
“How're you feeling?” He repeated his question instead, not wanting Sam to
notice the numbness in Dean's eyes that had been there ever since Gordon had
agreed to make that deal. Thank God Sam seemed to be so disoriented that he
didn't notice.
 
Sam closed his eyes. "I think I have few ribs broken, some bruises. Nothing
serious, don't worry." Dean worried about the broken ribs but he couldn't do
much to help him. Once Sam was out, he'd get help. Dean hoped. Sam opened his
eyes. "I'm so thirsty..." He whispered and Dean opened the water bottle and
gave it to him. Sam drank too fast and started coughing loudly. Dean barely
stopped himself from slapping Sam's back, remembering the broken ribs almost
too late. Taking a couple of deep breaths, Sam forced himself to drink slowly,
just few sips before giving the bottle back to Dean. "If I drink more now I'm
just gonna throw up." He looked at Dean. "Where were you?"
 
Dean sipped water from the bottle, stalling for time. Instead of answering Sam,
he took the pill bottle and got two pills out. "Here. Take these, for the
pain." Dean said quietly. Sam took the offered pills with gratitude and
swallowed them with another small sip of water.
 
"I was with Gordon." Dean's voice was expressionless, not giving anything away.
Telling him what Dean had done wouldn't solve anything. And it's not like Sam
had to know for him to be set free.
 
Sam frowned. "Why?"
 
Dean flinched, knowing he should have known better than to expect Sam not to
question him.
 
Sam was quiet for a while. "Don't lie to me, not now." He finally said quietly,
eyes filled with pain. "Did you try to make him let us out? You know he's not
gonna do that."
 
'Yes he is! He is! He's going to let you go!' Dean's mind screamed. He HAD to
believe in it!
 
Sam sighed. "I think it's time to be honest. Unless some miracle happens, we're
both gonna die here. I can make it easier. We can leave together, fall asleep
together." Sam tried to smile. "And that would be an ultimate 'fuck you' to
Gordon."
 
Dean smiled slightly, one corner of his lips turning up before the smile fell.
He thought of his Mom... how would she feel when they found his body, raped and
beaten... apparently died because of overdosing on something... His father...
oh god... Dad would be so ashamed of him... of letting another man do this to
him... of taking the easy way out...
 
Dad was a marine. He had seen things in the Vietnam War that Dean couldn't
imagine in his worst nightmares... and Dean was willing to end it all just
because he really, really, really didn't want to be some man's whore? Was that
a good enough reason?
 
And the one argument that sealed it for him... Sammy's death. Dean couldn't let
Sam die here. Not here, not like this... not for him. Not when Dean had a way
to get him out. He could always kill himself once Sam was out.
 
"Nah. Struck a deal." Dean said casually, hoping to waylay Sam's suspicions by
being casual and calm. "Everything will be fine. I promise." Dean said,
reaching out and curling his fingers in with Sam's, noting how they were so
much longer than his, the palm wider, the nails trimmed and healthy. Sam was a
beautiful man, and Dean had been lucky to have any time with him at all.
 
"Let's leave the suicide as a last resort? What do you say?" Dean said with a
grin, hoping it reached his eyes.
 
"So you're saying that he's just gonna let us go?" Sam asked quietly. Too
quietly. "Just like that? Knowing that we'll go to police and ruin his life,
which he totally deserves, but he ain't gonna let that happen."
 
Dean sighed, stupid Sam was too smart for his own good. Stupid, stupid Sammy!
Sam smiled a sad smile. "And why would he let us go? I can't think of anything
you could have offered him to make him agree on that deal. So, what did you
offer? What were the terms of the deal?"
 
Dean flipped a hand in a 'forget that' movement. "Don't worry about it. Just
remember that when we dock, you leave the boat as soon as possible. Alright?
Don't worry about me, I'll come find you." Dean said, feeling horrible about
lying. "If you need any help, call John Winchester. He's my Dad. He'll take
care of you." Dean said with a slightly sad smile. He hoped he'll get to see
Dad again. And Mom. And stupid little Angela who was marrying a mechanic.
Tom... he thought his name was... he hadn't even met his little sister's fiance
yet, always thinking he'll do it later.
 
Regrets.
 
"You're lying." Sam said with a whisper that was hardly audible. "You're not
coming. You won't come find me." Sam closed his eyes and kept them tightly
closed so that the painful tears didn't get out.
 
Dean inhaled sharply, his lie caught and he didn't know how to explain to Sam
what he was doing. He was doing the right thing! Goddammit! Sam was the one who
should get away! Sam was the one who had so much to live for, and so many
things to do! He'd only just started living and Dean couldn't take that away
from him.
 
Dean reached out, cupping Sam's cheeks and pressing their foreheads together.
"Don't you get it, Sammy?" Dean hissed, voice low. "There's nothing in the
world I wouldn't do for you. And if I have to leave you to save you, then I'll
do that. I'll do it Sam." Dean said, quieter. "And I will come find you. I
don't know when, but I'll come find you."
 
Sam laughed a small bitter laugh that made his ribs feel like they were been
ripped out of his chest. "You don't know when, or possibly where perhaps?" Sam
turned to his side, no matter how painful it was, facing away from Dean.
"There's a difference between living and surviving. Before I met you, I was
surviving. Now I have lived, for two months. So, back to surviving I guess..."
 
Sam swallowed thickly. "I guess I'll see you in Hell then. Or wherever we go
after this life."
 
"Sam no!" Dean said as he listened to Sam. "No. Live, alright? I will come. I
promise. I can't live without you. That'll be the one thing to keep me going...
to know that I'll see you again. You can't just..." Dean's breaths were harsh,
chest heaving as he tried to think, tried to understand...
 
"As much as I promise I'll come for you, I also promise that the second I hear
about your death I'll kill myself. So please... don't do anything stupid." Dean
said softly, reaching out to put a hand on Sam's back for the sake of contact.
 
"How can you tell me to live when there's absolutely nothing waiting for me
outside?" Sam swallowed. He stayed quiet for a moment because there was sudden
anger rising inside of him, and just maybe it was a good thing. This was how it
was. He always ended up losing everything that mattered to him, everyone he
loved, and he had built a strong wall between himself and other people. Until
Dean had came into his life and tore that wall down, gave him a new meaning for
his life, made him finally feel like he belonged somewhere.
 
And now he was losing Dean too. And he was furious. How could a person be
furious and totally numb at the same time, because the next words came out
toneless and blank.
 
"Why would I kill myself?" Sam said quietly. "I don't feel anything. I'm
already dead."
Dean's fist clenched in Sam's shirt. Fear, anger, defeat, sadness, longing...
all fighting inside him.
 
"So what would you have me do?!" Dean said, his voice sharp and almost loud.
"Would you rather we both kill ourselves? Huh? Better we both die than one of
us get out alive. Yeah, that's really fucking reasonable. And I got you into
this Sam! If I had just let you be that night... if I hadn't hired you, you'd
be out there somewhere, never having met Gordon. So it's my responsibility to
make sure you get out."
 
Dean out his head in his hands as he muttered. "Put yourself in my place. Tell
me that if you had the chance to let me go free that you wouldn't take it."
 
"I could have refused." Sam's voice was blank. "I thought about refusing for a
while when I heard rumors about you. But I didn't. I made my choice. It was my
choice."
 
Sam was all numb inside.
 
"If the roles were reversed, I would do anything to get you out. You have your
job, your friends, your life, and most importantly, you have a family that
loves you more than anything. I have none of those things. No one will miss me.
Your death will make your family die inside. Think about that."
 
"I'd never be able to live knowing that I could have gotten you out but saved
my own skin instead. I love you too much for that, Sammy." Dean said quietly.
"And it's just fucking. I mean... no big deal. In exchange for fucks, you walk.
Not a bad deal, Sam." Dean said, shrugging as he put one hand on Sam's
shoulder, feeling the muscle and bone under his hand.
 
"No." Sam said, voice still blank. "It's not just fucking. That guy enjoys
hurting people, and in the end he will kill you and then come after me again.
And you know what? I don't even care if he does."
Dean was quiet for a moment because he didn't know what to say. He also knew
that any minute now Gordon will send someone to get Dean and he didn't want to
leave Sam. Not like this.
 
"Please look at me, Sammy. Please." Dean's voice broke on the last word, not
wanting to talk to the curve of Sam's shoulder anymore. He wanted Sam to look
straight into his eyes, wanted to feel Sam's body in his arms and Sam's lips on
his. He needed this before he was called up, probably to do something
ridiculously sick.
 
Sam turned around and faced Dean. No matter how blank his voice had been, there
were still tears in his eyes. Sam had no idea of what to say, it felt that
everything would sound lame, feigned. Words simply didn't matter anymore.
Nothing did.
 
Dean felt worse and better at the same time as soon as Sam was looking at him
again, eyes filled with tears.
"I think I can get my apartment back. If not..." Sam shrugged. "I'm not going
to call your father. What do you think I could say? That his son is dead
because of me?"
Then something snapped and suddenly Sam was hugging Dean so tight he almost
wanted to scream when his broken ribs protested, but he held on, then let go
slightly and kissed Dean, soft and long.
 
The kiss had a feeling of finality. It tasted like Dean, and goodbye.
 
*
 
"John? Got those names for ya. Erik Bomar and Ted Nelson."
 
"Where can I find them?"
 
"7639 W5th Avenue West."
 
"Thanks Caleb."
 
"Anytime buddy."
 
*
 
"Gordon. Gordon Walker." Erik Bomer yelped, holding his broken arm close to his
body while he stared at the still body of his friend. God, this maniac had
killed his best friend.
 
"Good." John growled. "And you should know better than to report me, or I'll
come after you."
 
Erik nodded jerkily. "Did you kill him? Is Teddy dead?" He asked shakily, still
reeling from the sight of John's lean body taking down the broad and large man.
 
"He will be if my son isn't alright." John growled and stepped out of the
rubble that used to be their front door.
 
When he started his car and started driving, he knew exactly what to do. He
didn't become a marine for nothing. The war had been one thing, but this time?
This was personal.
***** Salvation *****
"There's steps at the stairs." Sam swallowed. "I love you. Goodbye." The last
word was just a whisper.
 
"Love you too." Dean whispered back, hearing the steps and standing up before
Gordon's familiar form filled the doorway.
 
"I thought I told you to come to me the minute Sam woke up." Gordon said,
threat clear in his voice.
 
"He just woke up. I was coming." Dean said, stepping away from Sam and towards
Gordon. "When are we docking?" He asked, impatient to get Sam off the boat.
 
"Not before I fuck that tight ass." Gordon said with a grin because he was
going to torture Sam. He was going to show Sam exactly what he had stolen from
him till Sam was in tears, choking and crying and screaming. Then he would fuck
Sam too, just to make sure he didn't feel left out. "Come here and give Daddy a
kiss."
 
Dean bristled, having always hated the 'Daddy' games. They made him feel dirty
and perverted and wrong. "Gordon... you know I never like it when-"
 
"Fuck what you like or don't like. Come here and kiss your Daddy." Gordon
snarled and Dean exhaled sharply in annoyance and defeat. He went to Gordon,
pecking him on the lips and turning around to head up the stairs.
 
Sam wasn't watching Gordon. He was watching Dean. Did Gordon really think that
after all he had already done there would be anything he could hurt him more
with? Then Gordon was gone, and so was Dean. Alone. Again.
 
Sam gathered enough strength to rip off the linens and lay down on the bare
mattress. He wasn't thinking what was going on inside Gordon's room. He wasn't
thinking anything. He couldn't.
 
And he knew that Gordon was not going to let either of them out alive.
 
If only he wasn't in such bad shape... It had been painful enough to escape
this room before, but now the broken bones and bruises covering his body...
Thank God the water bottle was still there. Sam took few tiny sips before
laying the bottle back to the nightstand.
 
For a moment an overdose of heroin sounded good. If Dean wasn't leaving this
boat alive, then why should Sam? And it was true what he had said to Dean.
There was nothing out there. No one would miss him.
 
Sam decided to give it a 24 hours, and then...
 
Then it would really be over.
 
Back inside Gordon's suite Gordon chuckled in his throat and grabbed Dean,
kissing him brutally hard and biting his lips until they bled. "Been kissing
any whores behind my back? You taste like disease." He stage whispered, his
voice carrying across the room and Dean's fists clenched, ready to punch his
lights out. If only they had been on land, he would have beaten him up and left
him for dead a hundred times over.
 
"No. Just you, darling." Dean said with a smirk and Gordon mirrored that smirk
for a moment before slapping Dean so hard he saw stars and saw black for a
moment. He blinked, he was on the ground and half his face was cold, tingling
slightly. The pain hadn't hit yet.
 
Gordon just watched, a cold smile on his face.
 
His plan? Was to openly torture Dean enough that Sam came to deal with him. And
then, he'll have them both again. That was of course assuming that he won't
tire of watching Sam first and just go and have his way with him when he wanted
to. Ass like that deserved to be fucked until he shat blood.
 
After few hours Dean was barely conscious, in pain and bleeding. The only thing
his blurry mind could think of was the hope to finally lose consciousness. And
when he did, Gordon woke him up and beat him black and blue, but it was a
wasted effort. Dean couldn't feel much anymore. He passed out again and woke up
with Gordon grabbing him and pushing him out of the bedroom, still naked. Dean
went along because he was way beyond questioning things.
Some part of his confused mind realized that something was happening. Yells and
shouts and sirens filled the background noise and Gordon's grip on his upper
arm was bruising.
 
As soon as they were on the deck Dean was pressed against Gordon, back to
chest, and the chill of metal pressed against his temple.
 
"If you want him to live I suggest you get off the boat right now!" Gordon was
yelling and Dean was halfway asleep already, fatigue as deep as his bones.
 
"Dean! DEAN! What did you do to him?!" The voice was familiar, but Dean
couldn't quite lift his head up high enough to look.
 
"DROP YOUR GUNS!" Gordon screamed.
 
"Let my son go!"
 
Dean tried to understand what was going on, but it was so hard...
 
Dad?
 
No, he was probably just hallucinating. Or lost his mind. Maybe both...
 
"I'll shoot him I swear to god if you don't back the fuck away RIGHT NOW."
Gordon yelled again.
 
"Dean!"
 
Dad??
 
"Dean! Talk to me, son."
 
Dad... why was Dad here?
 
"Son... say something please." Dean looked up, eyes squeezed shut as he saw how
his father stood in front of them, gun trained on Gordon and him and behind him
bobbed a Coastguard boat, two men standing on it with guns pointed on them as
well and a bright red and blue rotating light flashing against the violet sky.
 
It was dawn...
 
"Dad?" Dean whispered but his words were lost in the cacophony of noise
otherwise.
 
"Release the hostage and put the gun down." Someone said over a megaphone and
Dean cringed.
 
"Dean! Dean keep looking at me." Dad said and Dean looked up. Dad looked scared
and angry and desperate all at once. The gun pressed hard against his temple,
leaving bruises but he didn't notice that. No. As ridiculous at it was, he was
worried about how he was naked in front of the entire cavalry. Talk about your
nightmare coming true.
 
"Daddy..." Dean whispered again before he forced his feet under him, standing
up on his own legs and gathering enough strength to do what he wanted to. If it
backfired, he'd end up with a hole in his head. Mustering as much strength as
he could he suddenly jerked himself to the left, away from the gun pressing
against his temple and Gordon, surprised by the movement as he was left
shieldless for one crucial moment.
 
When Dean looked up from the floor, Dad was wrapping his jacket around Dean's
shoulders and Gordon was screaming in pain from the bleeding bullet wound in
his gun wielding arm. Two police officers pushed handcuffs onto his wrists and
Dean wondered if he was still dreaming.
 
"Son... Dean... you're alright now. You're safe." Dad said as he gathered Dean
into his arms.
 
"Sammy." Dean whispered.
 
"Who?"
 
"Sammy. He's... down, down there... locked... sick." Dean said quietly before
promptly passing out.
 
At the basement Sam shivered with cold, the world was swimming in and out of
focus and in some corner of his mind he realized that he had fever. A high one.
He closed his eyes, tried to curl to a fetal position but he couldn't,
everything just hurt too much, and he was cold, so cold...
 
The police checked the entire boat, and when they found the second prisoner
lying on a bed that was rancid with blood and sweat and semen, they knew they
had just locked up a mad man.
 
Suddenly there were figures around and bent over him and Sam's breath hitched.
 
"Son. Can you hear me? Tell me your name." The voice said when they came for
him, quickly pushing a stretcher next to the bed and preparing to grab him and
Sam was terrified.
 
"No..." He tried to protest but it was just a wheeze. "No, no more, I can't..."
 
One of the paramedics took a good look at the victim's body and frowned. How
could anyone do such a thing to another human being? The paramedics lifted
Sam's body carefully and put him on the stretcher. By then Sam was already
unconscious.
 
When they got back on the deck, the paramedic looked serious. "He needs medical
help, now. He has broken bones, bruises and blood all over and..." The
paramedic swallowed. "I think he's been raped. We need to get him into a
hospital, right now. His fever is so high that without getting it down he'll
die."
 
John was looking over his unconscious son, lying in a stretcher with a thin
blue sheet and John's jacket covering his nakedness. Dean looked fragile,
tired, and so young that John wished he could have killed the bastard who had
done this to his flesh and blood.
 
All he could do now was get his son home to his mother, get him better, try and
heal some of the wounds the bastard had left on him. It was easy to see what
had been done to him, the blood dried between his legs as the monster used him
like a human shield had not gone unnoticed. John felt cold with fear and
feverish with anger all at the same time.
 
"Does anyone know his name? He was too scared and disoriented to say pretty
much nothing at all." John heard, and looked around, seeing another body being
wheeled out from under the deck, the dark circles under the boy's eyes and the
pain and exhaustion written on his face mirrored Dean's.
 
'Sammy. He's... down, down there... locked... sick.'
 
John blinked.
 
'Sammy.'
 
"I think his name is Sammy. Dean uh... Dean said something about him." John
answered, one hand on his boy's as he slept.
 
"Alright. Let's load em up boys." The head paramedic said as he started talking
into a walkie-talkie.
 
"Status." The machine buzzed.
 
"Three patients. Walker, mid thirties black male, with non-fatal gunshot wound.
Winchester, white male mid twenties, severe dehydration, bruises, suspected
rape. Unconscious. Unknown white male, mid twenties, severe dehydration,
evidence of drug use, broken bones, high fever. Unconscious."
 
"ETA?" The machine buzzed.
 
"15 minutes." The paramedic said before putting the talkie down. "Come on let's
load 'em up. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go!" He rushed and the three stretchers
were loaded on the Coast guard boat as it rushed towards the shoreline.
***** I Want You There With Me *****
Dean woke up slowly, the dimly lit room illuminated by faintly glowing white
wall lights and he felt woozy. Drugged then. Oh fuck... he couldn't remember
anything. The last thing he remembered was Gordon... and his fucking painful--
- and sirens...?
 
He looked around with hooded eyes, seeing the quietly beeping machine on the
side of his bed, the IV hanging above him and running a tube into his arm, the
closed white blinds and his Mom sitting on the chair next to his bed, head on
his mattress and fast asleep.
 
Wait... Mom?
 
"Momma..." Dean whispered and Mary shifted, opening her eyes and looking at
him.
 
"Dean? You're awake? Oh god you're awake!" She said and suddenly she was
crying, smoothing back his hair and touching his hands and pressing kisses
against his cheek.
 
"Momma... wha-what happ-?" Dean's mouth was dry, his tongue felt huge and numb
and he found it difficult to form words.
 
"You're safe now Dean. You're safe." She said, tears falling from her eyes and
Dean sighed, closing his eyes for a while before s scary thought struck him and
his eyes opened again, looking at his mother.
 
"Sa-mmay?" Dean breathed.
 
"What did you say, hon?" Mary asked, pressing her ear almost to his lips.
 
Dean's lips moved but no sound came out as the exhaustion was again too much
and he fell back asleep, the last thing he saw was John opening the door and
stepping in.
 
"Dean!" He said but Dean was already gone, his father's voice echoing and
reflecting before Dean went back to dreaming of flying.
 
In the other room at the same hospital, Sam was kept in a drug induced coma to
allow his body heal faster. The doctor stood by his bed. They still didn't know
the boy's name. Sure, he was a grown man, but like that, eyes closed and pained
expression gone, he looked so much younger than he had to be. The doctor, a
woman in his late forties sighed. He had examined the damage himself. Turned
out the poor guy had three broken ribs, bruises so deep that they had tore
muscle mass, and he had also been raped several times. And then there were the
drugs. Heroin, amphetamine, and considering what she had heard from the
paramedics when the boy had been brought to the ER, how terrified he had been
before passing out, she didn't think he had taken those drugs voluntarily. Dark
spots were visible in the guy's arms, but somehow the doctor just couldn't
imagine this one being a junkie. Especially after what she had heard of the
circumstances of where he had been found, she wouldn't be surprised if the boy
had been drugged against his will.
 
An IV-drip helped with the dehydration, but by the time he had been brought to
the hospital the fever had been so high that they had to take it to the extreme
and put the boy into a bathtub filled with cold water and ice cubes. Painful
and extremely unpleasant, but they just hadn't had any other choice.
 
It had been a right decision to make. It had saved the boy's life. She was just
glad that the patient had been in nearly comatose state, so he most likely
hadn't even realized what the doctors had been forced to do.
 
Who was this man? No one had reported a missing person fitting his
subscription. Wasn't his family concerned? The doctor sighed, bent over to
check the gauze covered bandages. The worst cut had been on his head, and they
still didn't know if he was suffering of concussion. It had required stitches,
and so had... The doctor sighed deep and closed his eyes. She had a son, about
the same age, and even thinking about it made him feel sick. Maybe that's why
she felt such need to take care of the boy and make sure he would be okay.
 
If he would ever be okay.
 
He had been badly abused, tortured basically. The doctor wasn't worried about
the physical injuries. They would heal in time. The thing that worried her was
that the emotional wounds were so much more difficult to heal, it would be a
long and painful journey, and even then the wounds would leave scars.
 
"Don't worry." She said quietly to the pale, unmoving form under the sheet.
"I'll take care of you. I promise."
 
*
 
"Hey asswipe."
 
That's what Dean woke up to the second time. His sister sat on the chair next
to his bed, her shoulder length blond hair tied in a fancy french braid and a
pink shirt with a silver heart and cupids arrow drawn on it, and Dean had no
idea if it was because of the drugs or just his own thoughts, but wasn't that
shirt the most stupid thing he had ever seen? Either way, it didn't matter. His
family was here. His father, his mother, and now his sister too. She looked
relaxed. Calm.
 
"Angie?" Dean whispered, smacking his lips at the horrible taste in his mouth.
 
"Yeah, that would taste bad. You haven't brushed your teeth in five days."
Angela said, waving her hand in front of her nose to indicate he stank. "You've
also been peeing into a tube. Fun eh?"
 
"Bitch." Dean growled, hissing as he tried to sit up. Every muscle ached like
his body had taken a match with a sledgehammer.
 
"Jerk." Angela snapped back just as easily. This was something they had done
since they had been kids, bickering and teasing each other, and even when
neither one of them would ever admit it they really enjoyed it. "You had Mom
terrified, dude.” Angie sighed. “She has been crying so much she gave herself
hiccups."
 
"Yeah?" Dean said, swallowing against the dryness in his mouth. He was sorry,
and he wanted to say so, but his throat was dry as the desert of Sahara and it
was just too hard to speak. "Water." He mouthed and Angela got up easily,
grabbing a cup of ice chips sitting on the side table.
 
"One chip at a time. Take it slow." She said and Dean listened, for once.
 
"Sammy?" Dean asked once the slowly melting ice soothed his parched throat.
 
"Who?" Angela frowned, looking confused.
 
"Sam. Where's Sam?" Dean asked, eyes widening as he started freaking out. "Sam!
Where the fuck is Sam?!"
 
"Dude. Chill." Angela said just as the door opened and in came his Dad and his
Mom.
 
"What's going on?" Dad said before he saw Dean was awake. "Dean! How're you
doing, son?"
 
"Sam! Where's Sam?!" Dean's voice was growing high pitched with panic.
 
"He's in this hospital. I haven't been keeping up with him..." John said
quietly and Dean started getting up. "No! Keep lying down, you're too weak
still."
 
"I need to go see Sam." Dean explained. He really, really needed to see Sam.
 
"You will. Just lie down for now. I'll go find out what happened to him,
alright?" Dad said and Dean nodded, a little sullenly as he laid back down.
"Good. I'll go talk to the nurses now. So just calm down." John said as he
started leaving.
 
"Dad?" Dean called and John looked at him. "What happened to Gordon?"
 
John's fingers curled into a fist. "He will never see the light of day again."
Pure hatred filled John when he even heard that name, but he forced his voice
calm for the sake of his son. “Don't think about it now. You will never have to
see him again.”
 
Dean nodded and lay back down. And maybe he still was a bit out of it, because
the next words that came out of his mouth were: "I want a cheeseburger. With
fries. And extra onions." His whisper was so hopeful that Angela couldn't
suppress her amusement and laughed a quiet laugh.
 
"Not yet, buddy. Just sleep now. Scared us half to death you moron." She said,
affection deep in her voice.
 
"You love me." Dean muttered, his eyes closed and a small smile on his face.
 
"Yeah? Fuck you." Angela griped but she was smiling too.
 
John left the room and went to the nurse's station and asked about Sam, the boy
no one knew who he was except apparently Dean. He got a room number and headed
that way. When he opened the door, he saw a female doctor standing by the kid's
bed, holding his hand. When she realized she wasn't alone, she let go of Sam's
hand and smiled at John. "Winchester, right? Dean's father."
 
"You can call me John."
 
"Nice to meet you, John. I am Dr. Amy Lewis, I've been treating our mystery
guy." She smiled warmly and held her hand out. John took it and they shook
hands briefly.
 
"His name is Sam." John finally said. "I don't know anything else about him. I
think he's a friend of Dean's, but my son has never talked about him before.”
John felt bad when he looked at the broken body lying on the hospital bed but
just couldn't look away. ”So, how bad is it."
 
Amy looked sad. "He'll survive. But he's been through a lot. It was a pretty
close call. Two minutes later he would have been dead."
 
John took in the image of the boy -Sam- in and just watched him for a while
longer. The boy was unnaturally pale, dark shadows under his eyes, and John
could see the bruises on his arms and on one leg that peeked from under the
sheet. His head was covered with bandages and gauze, and at that point John had
to look away.
 
He had promised to come and see and tell his son how Sam was doing, but now,
seeing that, he wasn't sure if he wanted to tell anything after all.
 
In Dean's room his Mom was fidgeting. Dean knew why. But he didn't want to
bring it up. 'Rape' was a big word and no one wanted to say it. He could see it
in the way Angela sat, not as carefree as she normally was. He saw it in the
way his Mom thought twice before asking him how he was feeling, knowing that
what she really wanted to ask was 'how're you FEELING?' Same question,
different meaning.
 
Fuck if Dean was going to start sharing and caring. He'd rather never talk
about that time ever again. In fact, he just wanted to lock all those bad
memories somewhere so deep they didn't even exist. He hoped Sam was doing okay
though. The last time he'd seen him he had thought it would be the last... and
now there was renewed hope. He wanted to get back with his Sammy, hug him and
kiss him and know that he'll wake up tomorrow with Sam next to him.
And yet he was worried sick. Sam had told him what had happened to him when he
had been only fourteen years old. Sam had survived, but now it had happened all
over again, and Dean was scared that Sam couldn't handle something like that
again. What if he would break for good and---
The door opened and Dean turned to look.
 
"Dad!" Dean said happily but at the same time worried sick when John walked in,
the tension in the room halving and doubling at the same time. "Sam...?"
 
"He's uh... he'll be okay. The doctor was confident he'll be okay." John
explained, taking a seat next to his wife.
 
"But how is he NOW?" Dean stressed, hands fisting in the blankets.
 
"He's asleep right now. But he'll be okay." John said and Dean blinked for a
few moments, just sitting there. His Dad was circling the subject, and Dean
knew that no matter if he tried to threaten or bribe, John wouldn't fill him in
with details.
 
"I want to go see Sam." Dean said, decision made, and John shook his head.
After seeing Sam, who was obviously very important to Dean, John didn't want
his son to see what he had just seen.
 
"No, Dean. You're not allowed to move around just yet." Mary said, reaching out
and touching Dean's hand.
 
"I don't care. I'm going to go see Sam." Dean started saying, grabbing the
needle feeding into his arm and ripping it out. Blood flowed from the small cut
before quickly stopping. While John and Mary rushed forward to stop him, Angela
rolled her eyes.
 
"Guess what, loverboy? You have a catheter stuffed up your dick." She said and
Dean gritted his teeth, stubbornness the only reason why he did what he did
next.
 
"AAH!" He yelled as he pulled the stupid tube out, the pain burning and
stinging and Dean felt a little woozy.
 
"Jesus Christ you're insane!" Angela gasped and Dean shot her a pained grin
while Mary decided it was a better idea for them to help Dean rather than let
him go off by himself. He knew his son well enough to know that at this point
nothing would stop Dean who was just about ready to run out of there with his
butt hanging out of the flimsy hospital gown.
 
Ten minutes and lots of shuffling about trying to get dressed in soft hospital
pajamas, Dean was wheeled into Sam's room.
 
"Sammy." Dean whispered, seeing Sam's pale form and feeling something break.
God... his boyfriend... his lover... he was so sick and so injured because of
Dean...
 
Mary gasped in shock when she saw Sam. "Oh the poor boy."
 
"How do you know him, Dean?" John asked him instead and Dean sighed. He wanted
to tell his parents but not here. Not now.
 
"He's my friend. My best friend." Dean said softly, reaching out to touch Sam's
scarily cold hand. "He protected me when I was..." He didn't say it. He didn't
need to.
 
"Does he have any family I can call?" John asked and Dean shook his head.
 
"He doesn't. I'm the one on his emergency contacts." Dean said with a small
laugh. "Momma?" He looked up at Mary. "You think he can come live with us for a
little while? Just until he gets better. And I've been wanted him to have your
cookies." Dean said, not even caring that he probably sounded like a little
kid. He really missed home, and he really, really wanted Sam there with him.
Anything else was out of the question.
 
"Sure, sweetie." Mary said, not even hesitating, putting a hand on Dean's
shoulder. Behind him John patted Dean's arm.
 
"Can I get some time alone with him? Please?" Dean asked and Mary dropped a
kiss on his forehead before leaving, followed by John.
 
Once alone, Dean scooted closer to Sam's bed and pressed a kiss to Sam's
knuckles. "Wake up Sammy. Please." He said quietly, wanting to see Sam's eyes,
to hear Sam's voice. “You better get well, you hear me?” After a while holding
Sam's hand he whispered: ”I need you. So get well, okay?”
 
Sam floated somewhere between dreams and reality, even when he didn't realize
it. It was strange. He was sure he was dead, but dead didn't dream, right? Then
why were these images flashing through his mind?
 
The Travis couple that had taken care of him, even when he was horrible...
 
Martha's cooking...
 
William's books, and how he had got that stipend for Sam...
 
Graduation... And a car crash that had taken him away his family the second
time.
 
Dean...
 
Sam opened his eyes slowly and closed them just as fast when the harsh light
hurt his eyes. He figured he was in a hospital. But how? The last thing he
remembered was getting beaten, then blackness, and then some unknown men
grabbing him.
 
What if he was still on that boat? What if Dean was dead?
 
"Dean..." Sam whispered weakly. "You promised to come back... Please come
back..."
 
Dean had almost dozed off, legs beginning to cramp in the uncomfortable
wheelchair when he heard Sam's words, so quietly spoken but he had been
listening for them, listening for any sign of life from Sam.
 
"Sammy." Dean said, tightening his grip on Sam's hand and wheeling closer, "I'm
here, Sam. See? I'm here." Dean said, happy because Sam was awake, and awake
meant alive, and that meant that it was over. Everything that had gone to hell
this week was over.
 
The world's most familiar voice tore Sam out of his half-unconscious state.
Sam's eyes widened, no matter how much the harsh light hurt, like lightning
inside his skull.
 
"You're alive..." Sam whispered, having hard time believing that this was real.
What if it wasn't? What it was just a dream? But the hold of Dean's hand was
warm and alive.
 
"You're here..." Sam couldn't stop being stunned. "But how? How did we...? Oh
my God, I was gonna kill myself as soon as Gordon kills you..." He started
breathing faster, all these emotions just way too much to handle at once.
 
The door opened and Dr. Amy Lewis came in. "How are you, Sa--" He stopped. "Oh.
You must be Dean. I'm Dr. Lewis, but call me Amy. I've been taking care of
Sam." Then he looked at Sam. "Hey, buddy, you need to calm down or I have no
other choice than give you sedatives, and I don't think you want to sleep any
longer. You have slept for four days."
 
The doctor's interruption was unwelcome, specially since Dean was getting ready
to tell Sam everything he remembered that had happened. But maybe it was good
that the doctor gave him time to think his words through.
 
Sam took deep breaths and finally calmed down. "That's better." Amy smiled. "I
just came to take a look at you, but since you have company, I'll come back a
little later. See you. Both of you." Amy smiled as he left the room. There was
something between those two, and that something was love. Poor boy needed that
now more than ever. They both did.
 
After they had talked, Amy would ask Sam's last name.
 
Dean waited until the door closed behind the doctor. He shifted his hold on
Sam's hand so that their fingers were intertwined. "Gordon's locked up. We're
safe, Sammy." Dean said with a soft smile, wanting nothing more than to just
hug Sam and kiss him and make him feel better.
 
"And guess what big guy," Dean said with a grin. "You're coming with me to my
parents' house. And I bet my Mom's itching to feed you peanut butter chocolate
chip cookies till you're ready to burst." He could do this. They could do this.
Gordon couldn't hurt them anymore and his parents were here and Sam was
alive...
 
"God I missed you, Sammy." Dean whispered, his grin turning more watery and he
turned his head to the side, refusing to cry in front of Sam because he didn't
want to upset Sam. He quickly wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his free hand,
looking back at Sam. "I didn't think I'd see you again." He said, quiet.
 
"I missed you too." Sam said quietly, voice hoarse from lack of drinking. "I
don't know what I would have done if..." Sam turned his head away. He didn't
even want to think about it. Then he realized what Dean had said before that.
 
"Dean." Sam was serious. "They're your family. They don't even know me.
Before... well, this... they didn't even knew I existed." Sam swallowed. "I'm
sorry, I'm not coming just because you want me to and assume that your mother
would like me. After all, I'm just a stranger to them."
 
Sam swallowed, guilt like a heavy weight in his chest.
 
"A stranger that almost got their son killed. They don't know that, but I do,
and if they'd ever find out..." Sam felt something tight in his throat. "I'm
sorry Dean. I love you, more than anything. I... I just can't."
 
"I'm not letting you go back to that empty apartment by yourself." Dean said,
knowing that he should go back with Sam but he... he just...
 
He wanted his Mom. He wanted the warm familiarity of his room, the house he
grew up in... and he wanted Sam there with him.
 
"Please Sam. And I'm not even going to talk to you about you thinking you
almost got me killed. It's that ridiculous." Dean waved a hand in Sam's face,
wanting to annoy him just as much as dispelling Sam's ridiculous guilt. "Back
to the whole house deal. You're coming with me. You can take over the guest
room if you get sick of me, and we can just relax for a little while. It won't
be long... maybe a week or so." Dean shrugged. "Come with me, Sammy. Come on!
Please?" Dean pouted, sticking his lower lip out.
 
"You know I'll never get sick of you." Sam managed to smile a little. "But we
can't sleep in a same room. Your parents... They don't know about us, right?
And I don't wanna be the one that tears apart their illusions." Sam sighed.
Dean's pout was... hard to resist.
 
“I won't take no for an answer.” Dean said with a voice that left no room for
arguments. “You're coming with me.” Dean looked deep into Sam's eyes. “I need
you there with me. Know why? Because I love you, and nothing or no one will
ever change that.”
 
Sam was speechless for a while.
 
"Alright." He finally said softly. "At least for couple of days. But if
something goes wrong or things start looking bad, or if I feel unwelcome in any
way, I'll leave. Okay?"
 
"You'll like it, I promise." Dean said, pressing Sam's knuckles to his lips.
 
Then Sam thought for a while. "Where does your family live?"
 
"About an hour away from where we live. You know the series of houses along the
beach near Vermont Ave?" Dean asked, continuing without Sam saying anything.
"That's where we live. So we can go for a swim too." Dean said with a smile.
 
And then Sam thought about something else. "How long do you think it'll take
before we get out of here?"
 
"Soon. I hope. I haven't had a chat with my doc yet." Dean answered.
 
"I need water..." Sam whispered and reached out to push the nurses button. Dean
nodded, letting Sam's hand go. He waited until the nurses showed up, giving him
ice chips to munch on as well as looking over his vital signs to make sure Sam
was alright. When they left, John and Mary came in after them. Sam flinched
when Dean's parents walked into the room. He hadn't seen Dean's mother before,
but there was no mistaking in a way the woman looked at Dean. First Mary went
for Dean, finding out if he felt alright before turning her attention to Sam.
 
"I heard you saved our son's life." Mary said softly, smiling at Sam. "I wanted
to thank you."
 
Sam didn't know what to say. He had done nothing to save Dean, just laid
helpless in the basement while Dean had been hurt again. So he couldn't say
'you're welcome' or 'don't mention it', because the truth was that Sam had
absolutely no part on them getting rescued. He had no part in saving Dean's
life.
 
"You have a strong son." Sam said instead and smiled a little.
 
It felt weird, seeing how Dean's mother touched his son, with love and
affection, and Sam hardly even remembered what that was like. He didn't
remember his biological mother's touch, he had been too young, but once in a
while he remembered how Martha had hugged him and comforted him, like he was
Martha's son.
 
Sam missed that. He missed having a family, a mother who would love him with
all his flaws, and a father who would pat him on the back and say 'it'll be
alright, son' when things felt bad.
 
The saddest thing was that Sam knew he would never have that again.
 
"Dean wanted you to come with us." Mary said, going to Sam's side and brushing
back his bangs. She could see that Sam and Dean were close, and it didn't
matter that she didn't know him, she knew that Sam had been there for Dean in
the darkest period of his life and that was enough for her to care for him. "I
have to say I'm not against it. You boys could do with a hot homemade meal."
She smiled, patting Sam's shoulder. "I would be delighted to have you with us
for a little while, Sam."
 
John smiled over Dean's shoulder, "You're welcome in our home, son." John said
to him, and Sam was overwhelmed by the kindness of Dean's parents.
 
"See, Sammy?" Dean said with a grin, "They're going to spoil you silly."
 
"Yeah... Dean asked me to come but...” Sam looked from Mary to John, insecurity
clearly visible in his eyes. “I don't wanna an intruder. I think you would both
just want to spend time with Dean, not with a stranger."
 
"Any friend of Dean's is a friend of us too. You are coming with us." John said
with a voice that left no room for arguments. "I heard that you don't have any
family, and I am not going to leave you here. Both of you boys need to rest."
 
Sam smiled even when he could feel a lump in his throat. "Thank you, Mrs. and
Mr. Winchester."
 
"Just call us Mary and John, okay Sam?" Mary wiped the tears away from her
eyes. After almost losing his son, he suddenly´felt like he had been blessed
with another son.
***** No Is Not An Answer *****

Author's notes: Slight editing done to add some important things about hospital
policies. Thanks to Jolieblon for pointing them out.
***
===============================================================================
It took another week and a half before before Sam and Dean were released from
the hospital. The doctors ran every test possible, and it was a huge relief to
everyone when neither of the boys had caught an STD. No one had mentioned that
possibility out loud, not John, Mary, or Angela, and certainly not Dean who had
effectively tried to block the whole possibility out of his mind, but the fear
had been written all over their faces.
 
The thing Dean hated the most in that hospital were the therapists and
psychiatrist and trauma counselors who he had to meet daily after he had
recovered physically enough to speak. He didn't want to talk. Time healed
wounds, right, so why the hell did those people insist that Dean should open up
and talk about how he FELT about what had happened because all it did was open
up the wounds again. Screw them and their so-called 'help'.
 
Sam had been quiet, really quiet, the whole time they had spent in that
hospital. And that worried Dean. He spent time with Sam every single day, and
they talked about this and that, but there was one subject neither of them
brought up, and that was what had happened on that ship two weeks ago. Dean
knew that he was good with blocking unpleasant thoughts out, but Sam...
 
Even when Dean preferred never to talk about his own feelings of what had
happened, he wasn't so sure about Sam. For Sam the whole incident had to be
like the worst déja vu of the history of bad déja vus, and Sam's silence didn't
make Dean feel any easier. Sam looked tired, even when his body was healing
fast, but Dean knew Sam well enough that it wasn't physical exhaustion.
 
And Dean was right. Sam was tired, mentally. The injuries of his body healed,
but there was something inside him,something dark, like a devil on his
shoulder, whispering to him that things would never be the same as they used to
be before Gordon. The only times that devil shut up and disappeared was when
Dean was sitting there beside his bed, talking to him and holding his hand,
kissing him softly and telling him that from now on everything would get
better. Still, Sam wondered if Dean even believed those words himself.
 
He also hated the fact that Dean seemed to cope just fine, when it should have
been Sam coping better than him. Sam had experienced this before and he knew
what it was like, thanks to his past, but something inside him was broken. He
wasn't coping, and when the doctors came into his room at the evenings and
asked Dean to leave and let Sam rest, the demons inside him returned. The
doctors had to sedate him for the nights because even when Sam hated it, he
couldn't even sleep.
 
He was scared. Scared of Gordon who was now in an institution for criminally
insane, but even that fact didn't make the fear go away. He was also afraid of
losing Dean, even when Dean spent every waking moment with him,told Sam that he
loved him and talked about future together.
 
Sam's physical recovery took longer than Dean's, but after he was able to sit
on a wheelchair, he had to meet the same people that Dean did. During those
sessions Sam mostly just sat quietly, staring over the person in question's
shoulder, hoping the hour would be over already and he would get back to his
hospital room. What good did speaking do anyway? Those people couldn't possibly
understand. They hadn't gone through what--
 
Sam didn't want to think about it.
 
Mary visited Sam every day too, and even John paid him visits. Angela came to
check on him once in a while, usually just peeking through the door and smiling
at Sam, if even to say 'hi' before leaving again. And there was the fear again.
Dean's family was so incredibly nice and Sam had already gotten used to having
them around.
But what would happen when they would find out what exactly the relationship
between Sam and their son was?
 
Two days before they were released from hospital, Angie slipped inside Sam's
room, pulled a chair next to Sam's bed and just stared at him, smiling, until
Sam started feeling uncomfortable.
 
“What?” Sam frowned, confused. Angie raised one of her eyebrows before
answering.
 
“I know.”
 
Sam frowned even deeper. “About what?”
 
“About you and Dean” She said easily, the smile still on his face. “You love
him.”
 
Sam felt him self growing cold. Angela knew. Soon she would tell John and Mary
if she hadn't already, and then it would all be over. They would never blame
Dean. Sam instead would be an easy target, the evil man who had seduced their
perfect son.
 
“Of course I love him” Sam tried to save what was left saving in a situation
like that.”He's my best friend.”
 
Angela gave him a crooked smile. “No, Sam. You LOVE him.” At the look of Sam's
wide eyes she sighed, like she was forced to spell it out for a kid, which she
also said. “Do I really have to spell it out for you?” She asked.”You're IN
love with my brother.”
 
Sam swallowed, all the words lost. Angela sighed.
“You're pretty easy to read, Sam. What did you think I'd do? Run to Mommy and
Daddy and tell them that I know? Come on, you gotta be smarter than that.”
 
Sam swallowed again. “So... you're not gonna...?”
 
“Hell no!” Angela actually looked irritated. “If you ask me, you're the best
thing that has ever happened to my brother. For the first time I've actually
seen him happy. And trust me, I've had the 'privilege' of watching him for
years. So to say it like it is, I'm happy for you two. I kinda like you, so you
better stick around for a long time.”
 
Before Sam had even chance to say anything back, Angela was already up and on
the door.
“He loves you too, you know, if you had any suspicions. Told me that himself.
And my Mom adores you so you better drag your ass back with us and let her
drive you crazy with all the fuzz she's so good at. Night, Sam!”
 
And then she was gone.
 
Sam spent a long time just staring at the ceiling. That had been... unexpected.
And confusing.
 
And so freaking great that after a long time being so serious, a wide smile
spread across Sam's face, and he startled when there was another voice coming
from the door.
 
“What's so funny?”
 
Sam looked at Dean standing on the doorframe but couldn't stop smiling. “Your
sister.” He simply said and Dean rolled his eyes while stepping into the room
and closing the door behind him.
 
“She's a thorn in my flesh.” Dean stated but couldn't fully hide the affection
in his voice. “What did she want?”
 
“Oh, nothing...” Sam tried to look serious. “Just us to get married and--”
 
“WHAT?”
 
Sam laughed openly for the first time in two weeks. “Don't worry, she just made
clear that she knows about us – thanks to you by the way – and ordered me to
stick around.”
 
Dean groaned. “I told her not to--”
 
“What? To tell that she has nothing against us and make me slightly not that
worried?”
 
“I didn't mean it like that...”
 
“Then how?” Sam asked, still smiling. Dean couldn't help but smile too.
 
“Like this...” Dean murmured and bent down, capturing Sam's lips and kissing
him slowly until neither of them wasn't smiling anymore.
 
“At least I didn't lie to her...” Dean whispered when he finally pulled away.
“I really love you. More than anything, Sam.”
 
And that was all Sam wanted to hear.
 
“In two days we'll be out of this place.” Dean said after a small pause. “My
Mom loves you. Dad acts a bit rough sometimes but trust me, inside he's just a
big softie when it comes to family. And if you haven't noticed, Angie adores
you.” Dean smirked. “I could actually be jealous if I didn't know that you
don't swing that way.”
 
Then he turned serious. “You are a part of this family now, Sammy. When the
time is right I'll tell Mom and Dad about us. It's up to them how they wanna
take it. Don't get me wrong, I love them to bits, but no matter what their
reaction will be I'm not giving you up. They always told me it doesn't matter
what I do as long as it makes me happy, and you make me happy, so it shouldn't
be that big of a deal.”
 
“But what if--”
 
“No buts.” Dean interrupted Sam. “No ifs. I'm with you, and I'm planning on
keeping it that way. I've heard my parents talk about you when they thought I
wasn't listening, and they're almost as whipped as I am – god, I can't believe
I just said that out loud...” Dean sighed. “The point is, that you're stuck
with us, with me. So, Sammy...” Dean smiled and kissed Sam again. “Welcome to
the family...” he whispered against his boyfriend's lips.
***** Home (sweet?) Home *****
Once home, Dean didn't say much. His parents didn't push them for company
either, just smiling a little sadly as he made a beeline for his bedroom,
tugging Sam along after him. The home of Dean's parents was so cozy it made Sam
have a lump in his throat. God he had missed this, being a part of a family,
even when he knew he really wasn't but he just wanted to keep pretending for a
little while longer.
 
"I'll have dinner ready in a bit, Dean." Mary said and Dean just said a quick,
'alright Mom' and ran up.
 
Once the bedroom door was opened and closed behind them, Dean had Sam pressed
against the door, pressing his mouth against Sam's and his hands wrapped around
Sam's shoulders and waist. He didn't say much, just pressing soft, quick kisses
to Sam's lips and just holding him close because he couldn't believe how close
he had come to never having this again.
 
Dean was tired. Not entirely the physical kind of tired either, although he was
that too, but emotionally as well. Every time he closed his eyes he saw
Gordon's face, he could smell the stink of blood and come mixed together, he
could taste Sam's tears on his tongue, the desperation running through his
veins... and he was unable to stop the sick, sinking feeling that followed
every time.
 
So maybe he had been wrong. Maybe he wasn't that good at burying his
nightmares, pretending that everything was fine after all.
 
But the moment that stood out most starkly in his mind was when Sam had stopped
breathing. It made Dean's breath hitch in his throat and his eyes blur with the
shadows of tears he refused to let fall. And he'd seek out Sam with his eyes,
reassure himself that Sam was still there, and he would smile, happy that he
was alright, even if he was stretching the definition of alright a bit too
much.
 
"Sorry... sorry..." Dean apologized for the rough handling, knowing Sam was
still weak and still recovering... but he had needed to feel Sam close, pressed
against him. "I just... I keep seeing you... I keep seeing you dead and it's
messing with me." Dean said softly, pressing another kiss to Sam's lips, one
hand cupping Sam's cheek, fingers curled around Sam's jaw and feeling his pulse
flutter against the fingertips.
 
"But I'm here. Alive. And I'm with you." Sam kept his voice quiet, not knowing
who might be listening. "We made it." Sam whispered against Dean's lips. "And
after we got out of that hell, I don't think that anything, anything at all can
come between us." He kissed Dean softly before looking deep into his eyes. "I
love you, you know. You're my reason to keep breathing."
 
For once Dean wasn't feeling awkward about words that he would have considered
cheezy and corny before. Maybe that's what happened after being close to dying
and way too close of losing someone you couldn't live without.
 
“Love you too.” Dean whispered back, not able to help it when he pulled Sam
back against him, just holding him, never wanting to let go.
 
There were still so many things that needed to be done. Weekly checks in the
hospital, the second round of STD test – yes, Dean knew that even when the
first tests had came out negative, in few months they would have to take them
again, but he didn't even want to think about the possibility of HIV. It was
easier not to worry about that now, and besides, worrying about something that
hadn't even happened yet was just a waste of time and they both had enough
weight on their shoulders already. He'd worry about it when the tests were made
and results would come up, if there would be something to worry about. Right
now he just wanted to hold Sam and not even let him out of his sight, because
he needed to see Sam all the time. It eased the fear he felt inside, kept the
images of Sam being dead at bay, not completely but it was better than having
those images in his head all the time.
 
And then there was that other thing. In about a week they both would have to
start visiting a psychiatrist who was specialized in abuse and rape cases. Dean
wasn't too excited about that, but he knew that Sam was suffering inside and
this time Dean was – no matter how much he hated the idea – unable to help Sam.
Sam needed professional help, and deep down Dean knew that he needed that help
himself too, but it still didn't sit quite right with him.
 
And yes, he was angry. Angry at Gordon and the things that psycho had done to
bring them to this situation when sometimes Dean was almost afraid to touch
Sam, afraid that Sam would freak out.
 
But Sam wasn't freaking out. If it had been anyone else than Dean, he probably
would have, but Dean's touch only calmed him down.
 
“Dinner!” Came Mary's voice from downstairs and Dean reluctantly let go of Sam
and smiled a little. “Come. I can guarantee you'll love my Mom's cooking.”
 
Dean was right. Mary was a great cook, and after all that hospital food a home-
cooked meal tasted like heaven on a plate. Still, when Sam was sitting by the
table filled with dishes full of mash potatoes, roasted chicken, green beans
and gravy – plus of course surrounded by Dean's family – he still somehow felt
like an outsider, no matter how warm Mary's smile at him was and John's 'good
to have you here, son' comment. When they would find out the real reason why
Dean had wanted him there, things would change. Mary wouldn't smile anymore,
and John would definitely take his words back.
 
And then it happened. When the plates were filled, John looked at Sam with open
curiosity written all over his face and asked: “Dean never told us how you two
met. So, how did you?”
 
Sam felt the food get stuck in his throat. What was he supposed to answer? 'You
know, I was circling the streets looking for a client when your son stopped his
car and bought me for a whole month, and then we kinda fell in love'?
 
“Dad...” Angela -the rescuing angel- huffed. “Can't we just eat dinner now and
trade stories later? I'm pretty sure that Sam and Dean are tired, so could you
please postpone your freakin' curiosity to some other time when they're not
ready to fall asleep with their faces on their plates?”
 
“Sure.” John smiled a little and continued eating. “I'm sorry, I wasn't
thinking.”
 
Sam gave Angela a small thankful smile when no one was watching, and he smiled
back, like she was saying 'don't mention it'.
 
The rest of the dinner went peacefully and after that Mary cleared the table
with Angie while John went to the living room to watch TV and Sam and Dean
closed themselves back to Dean's room.
 
“I can't do this.” Sam whispered when the door closed behind them. “It's only
the first day and already if it wasn't for Angie they would've found out.”
 
“You worry too much.” Dean said, brushing Sam's cheek with his knuckles. “I
promised you things will be alright and I'm keeping that promise.”
 
Sam's eyes widened. “Yeah? What about the next time when--”
 
“Then I'll tell them the truth.” Dean said calmly and Sam's eyes widened even
more.
 
“What? Dean, do you have any idea how they might--”
 
“Yeah, I do.” Dean still sounded calm, way too calm if you asked Sam. “But
guess what? I don't care. I almost lost you once. I'm not gonna lose you
again.”
 
Sam closed his eyes, shaking his head. “No.” This was Dean's family. A family
full of love and it was obvious how much it meant to Dean. And that was
something Sam would never, ever ask Dean to give up. “No, Dean. I'm not gonna
let you do that. I knew this wasn't gonna work. I'm leaving.”
 
This time Dean's voice was irritated, stubbornness underneath it while he
started taking his clothes off. “Did you hear a word I just said? I don't care
of what they think, and the only place you’re going tonight is to bed with me.”
 
“But...”
 
“Just shut up, get undressed and let's go to sleep. You're tired, I'm tired, so
let's just sleep and you can bitch about it tomorrow.” And before Sam had time
to open his mouth again, Dean continued: ”I don't wanna hear another 'no'
coming out of your mouth. One night, Sam. Everything will look better in the
morning.”
 
Sam sighed but finally gave up, took off his clothes and slipped under the
cover's of the double bed where Dean was already waiting for him.
 
“What if your parents come to check on us while we sleep?” Sam just had to ask.
Dean smiled a little, yawned, and pulled Sam close. “They'll probably just be
happy that neither of us is sleeping alone. Doesn't matter. All that matters is
this...” Dean kissed Sam softly, fingers trailing a slow path along Sam's back.
“Just sleep now, okay? “We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
 
“You know that's a huge cliché, right?” Sam huffed. Dean gave him a sleepy
smile.
 
“Just shut up and sleep.”
***** Dean's Confession *****
Mary stood on the doorway and watched her son and Sam, both finally sleeping
peacefully after two weeks spent in a hospital where Dean had trashed and
whimpered in his sleep, and the only way to make Sam sleep at all had been
sedating him every night. But now both boys slept deeply, Dean's arm around
Sam's waist, and Mary smiled.
 
Maybe it was just searching comfort from each other. After all, who could
understand the feelings they were going through better than the other person
who had been through the same, but Mary had her own suspicions. It was
searching for comfort, sure, but Mary was almost certain it wasn't the only
reason. She remembered how panicked Dean had been when waking up in the
hospital, instantly asking about Sam and ready to jump out of bed and run to
find Sam when he couldn't even walk yet.
 
Mary knew how it felt to be that scared for someone. When John had insisted to
go with the Coastguard, and getting his will through – like he always did when
he decided something – all Mary had been able to do was to walk restlessly
around the house, swearing that the time had stopped, scared out of her life.
For Dean, of course, but also for his husband. She loved them both so much that
even the thought of possibility of losing them was so painful she didn't even
want to think about it.
 
And now, seeing her son and Sam like that, Mary realized that Dean's panic at
the hospital told her more than if her son would have just screamed that he
needed to see his boyfriend.
 
Mary thought for a while. Her son had... a boyfriend. And she was glad for
that. Dean hadn't exactly had many relationships during his life. Of course
Dean hadn't told that, but Mary knew. Call it mother's instinct or whatever. A
mother knows. Just like she knew that that something between her son and Sam
was more than friendship.
 
She though some more. Did it bother her that his son was romantically involved
with another man? No. She really liked Sam, and she wasn't blind. She could see
how Dean relaxed every time when he was around Sam, even after the horrors he
had went through. She could see how Dean smiled at Sam and how Sam smiled back.
And she had already noticed how those two wanted to spend every moment
together. So, no. Mary had nothing against it. In fact she was happy for his
son.
 
She stepped into the room, walked quietly to the bed, careful of not waking the
boys, and pulled the blanket carefully over their shoulders. But before she did
that, in the moonlight filtering through the window, she couldn't help noticing
the bruises that hadn't healed completely on the sides of both her boys. Yes.
Her boys. And she planned on keeping it that way. She knew her husband well
enough that she wasn't really worried of how John would react when he found out
too.
 
Mary smiled softly again as she made her way back to the door and closed it
quietly behind her, going back to bed to her husband.
 
*
 
“Morning lovebirds!” Was what woke Sam and Dean from their peaceful, nightmare-
free sleep. Sam went stiff for a moment, Dean instead just groaned, buried his
face under a pillow and told Angela to go away and do several things that were
physically impossible.
 
Angie just laughed. “First of all? Sam? Stop looking like a deer caught in
headlights. And two, it's almost noon so you two should be grateful that the
military man didn't wake you two up 6am like he woke me and Mom.”
 
When Sam still looked wide-eyed and alarmed – what if Dean's parents had heard
Angie's not so subtle cheer? - Angela sighed. “Just FYI, Dad's out of the
house, went to help a friend with a car or something, and Mom's in the kitchen
cooking lunch and singing 'Sweet Home Alabama' so loud that it's a wonder THAT
didn't wake you up.”
 
“Please just go away...” Came Dean's muffled voice from under the pillow and
Angie laughed again but left nevertheless, but not before turning around and
looking at Sam and Dean once again.
 
“Christ, you two look so delicious together that I'm really considering
cannibalism. And hey, seriously, get your asses out of bed. Mom invited Dad's
friend for lunch. They'll be here any minute.” Then finally she cantered out of
the room.
 
Sam was already halfway up when Dean pulled him back down. “Didn't you forget
something?” He asked and Sam was confused. Until Dean grabbed his face gently
and kissed him sleepily. “Mmmm...” Dean murmured. “Much better... Can't start a
day without having that...”
 
Sam smiled.
 
Twenty minutes later they had performed their morning – well,in this case noon-
routines, dressed up and went downstairs to the kitchen where they were greeted
by Mary's warm smile.
 
“Slept well?” She asked even when she already knew the answer.
 
“After those hospital beds you shouldn't even have to ask that...” Dean
answered with a 'what-kind-of-idiotic-question-was-that' voice but went to her
mother and kissed her, and Sam watched them smiling, but at the same time his
chest ached. How long would this last? How long before they would find out the
truth and kick Sam out?
 
“John went to help Bobby with one of his cars.” Mary informed. “John invited
him to have lunch with us. Good thing really, since Bobby's idea of a decent
lunch seems to be a heated can of beans and bacon...” Mary shook her head. “He
really needs a life partner. Someone who can cook...”
 
Sam went totally stiff for the second time that day and he had only been awake
for like an hour.
 
“How 'bout June? She can cook. I remember I used to love her peach cobbler.”
Dean suggested easily, like he hadn't even noticed Sam's state of
uncomfortableness. “Or hey, how 'bout Mike? I've heard he makes mean barbeque!
It's better than canned food anyway, right?”
 
Sam's eyes went wide as saucers but Mary just laughed. “Either one. That man
needs someone to feed him.” Then she looked at Sam, a questioning look on her
face. “What's wrong, Sam?” She asked. “You're not homophobic, are you?”
 
“N-no...” Sam stuttered, wondering what the hell was going on and where was
this all coming from.
 
“Dean?” Sam said quietly. “Can I have a word with you?”
 
“Sure. Anytime. No need to ask.”
 
Sam led Dean to the living room and just stared at him until Dean's patience
ran out.
 
“What?”
 
“You told her.” Sam stated quietly.
 
Dean huffed. “And when exactly do you think I did that? If you haven't noticed,
I've spent every second with you.”
 
“Then it was Angela.”
 
“I can guarantee it wasn't her.” Dean sighed. “She can be irritating and stupid
but she always lets me mind my own business.”
 
Sam blinked a couple of times. This wasn't making any sense. “Then... how?” He
finally asked, more confused than ever. Dean just smiled a little.
 
“Guess Mom just figured it out by herself.”
 
“Oh God...”
 
“Oh come on!” Dean huffed. “The sky didn't fall, the world didn't end. You
should be happy instead of freaking out. Two down, one to go. I'd say we're on
the winning side.”
 
“But your father--”
 
“...is not some monster who'll kick you out and disown me, so stop worrying and
get ready to meet Bobby. I'm sure you'll like him. I like him.” Dean smiled.
“He fixes cars. Most of those wrecks are beyond salvation but he never gives
up.” Dean turned serious. “Think about that.”
 
Sam wanted to keep arguing but then the front door opened and Sam heard John
talking with someone who's voice he didn't recognize.
 
“That's Bobby.” Dean informed. “Come, let's go meet the man.”
 
And just like that the conversation was over.
 
*
 
Dean was right. Sam liked Bobby. The atmosphere during the lunch was relaxed
and Sam felt relaxed too, maybe because John and Bobby were so excited about
the car they had been fixing earlier that John didn't repeat his question of
how Sam and Dean had met.
 
After lunch Bobby left, and Dean led Sam upstairs, saying that he wanted to
take a nap because he was still tired. Sam agreed and the laid down on the bed,
but as soon as Dean was sure that Sam was soundly asleep, he got up and went
back downstairs.
 
John was reading a book in the living room and that's where Dean found him.
 
“Dad?” Dean waited until his father put the book aside and looked at him.
 
“Everything okay?” John asked but Dean didn't answer.
 
Instead he looked his Dad in the eyes and said the words he now realized he
should have said a long time ago.
 
“Dad, I'm gay.”
***** Hope And Despair *****
John just stared at Dean for a moment before reaching out for his book again
and starting to read. Dean had absolutely no idea of what to think. He had
expected a reaction, not quite sure of what kind, but at least some kind! And
yet John just sat there, looking calm while he turned the page of his book and
continued reading.
 
“Dad?” Dean finally started when his father showed no sign of even noticing
that Dean was in the same room. “Did you hear what I just said?”
 
“I heard.” John said calmly but didn't raise his look from the book. Dean had
expected something, anything but that. Like John getting up and starting to
yell at him or at least announce his disappointment, but this? This was... Dean
didn't even know what to think of it. Right then he couldn't read his Dad, and
it was pissing him off, because goddammit, even if he was slightly scared of
what John might say or do, he still needed some other reaction than that!
 
“Dad, I am GAY!” Dean raised his voice. John put the book aside again and
looked at Dean, expression unreadable.
 
“Yeah, I heard you the first time you said it.”
 
“That's all you got to say?” Dean had no idea why he was suddenly fuming. Maybe
because he had no idea of what was going around inside his father's head. “No
'I'm disappointeds', no anger, just... that??”
 
John sighed. “What do you want me to say?” He asked. “Do you want me to be
disappointed and yell at you?”
 
Dean blinked for a couple of times. “Ummm... no?” He was totally lost. “But
you're not making it any easier by not showing any kind of reaction at all!”
 
John sighed again. “It's Sam, isn't it?”
 
Deans defenses rose up. “Don't you blame this on him! Sam has absolutely
nothing to do with me being--”
 
“Dean.” John said patiently. “What I meant, was that you're with Sam. Right?”
 
Dean blinked again. This was confusing. “Yes.” He finally said.
 
“Good.” John simply said and Dean almost stumbled on his feet.
 
“Wha-what?”
 
This time John's sigh was exasperated. “ Do you have a sudden strike of amnesia
or what?” He asked. “Don't you remember all the times during the years when I
told you that as long as you're happy, I'm happy.”
 
“Y-yeah?”
 
“So, are you?” John asked, voice calm again. “Does Sam make you happy?”
 
Dean didn't even need to think about his answer. “Yes.”
 
“Do you make him happy?”
 
Dean thought about all the times Sam had told him he loved him and how happy
Dean made him. “Yes.”
 
“Then what's the problem?” John asked, curiously. “Did you think that I'd try
to stand between you two when it's obvious that you two love each other?”
 
Dean had to think that one hard. “I had no idea.” He finally confessed.
 
“Well, now you do.” John smiled, a small smile that was barely there, but it
was and made Dean feel incredibly relieved. “Now go to your boyfriend and let
me finish my book.” John picked the book up for the third time.
 
“Yes, sir.” Dean said, still stunned of his father's words.
 
“So what are you still standing there?” John asked. “Go.”
 
Dean obeyed and ran upstairs so fast that he almost tripped on the stairs.
 
*
 
Sam woke up to a heavy weight landing on top of him and then Dean's taste
filled all his senses, and Sam couldn't even ask what was going on because Dean
kept kissing him,refusing to let his mouth go, and Sam had no idea what had
gotten in Dean.
 
“What was that for?” He asked, slightly out of breath when Dean finally pulled
away an inch.
 
Dean grinned widely. “We're free, Sammy. We're free!”
 
“What?” Sam blinked. “Yeah, I know that we got away and--”
 
“No!” Dean laughed. “That's not what I mean. I told Dad about us!”
 
Sam froze and went completely still. “You told him.”
 
“Yeah, and he took it really well!” Dean laughed even more. ”More than well in
fact. He took it great.”
 
Sam still wasn't convinced. “So you told him that we're together.”
 
Dean stopped laughing and pursed his lips. “Well, not exactly. I told him I'm
gay. He guessed the rest.”
 
“And...?”
 
Dean smiled and kissed the tip of Sam's nose. “And he's happy for us.”
 
Sam frowned. “So... you just marched there and told him you're not gonna marry
the girl next door and he's... happy?”
 
“Yeah!” Dean grinned. “As long as I am, he's too. Said that himself.”
 
Finally Sam was starting to relax. Jesus, now Dean's whole family knew and
still they hadn't kicked him out. Quite the opposite. Sam felt a flicker of
hope inside him as the fear started fading. “Guess I gotta keep you happy
then.” He said and finally smiled. “Come here and kiss me again. That's an
order.”
 
Dean was happy to obey.
 
*
 
Few days later Dean didn't feel that happy anymore as he was sitting on a
chair, staring at the psychiatrist who sat on the other side of the desk.
 
“This is ridiculous...” Dean huffed. “I have no idea what I'm even doing
here...”
 
The psychiatrist, a thirty-something woman raised her gaze from Dean's file on
the desk and looked at Dean. “I think you do.”
 
“Yeah,yeah...” Dean muttered, wanting nothing more than to get up and leave the
whole place behind. “I know. To talk about my 'feelings' and how I'm 'hurt' and
how talking will make everything better. Tell you what? I don't wanna talk. I
just wanna forget the whole thing. So all this talking bullshit... what's the
point?”
 
The psychiatrist, Dawn Moore, leaned forward and crossed her arms on her desk.
“So you're saying that you don't need help?”
 
Dean let out a frustrated groan. “Answering to a question with another
question... This ain't working. I don't need my head shrunken, but thank you
very much for trying.” He didn't even know why he didn't stand up and leave.
 
After the hour was over, Dawn went through what she had wrote down during his
time with Dean Winchester.
 
'Angry, scared, deep in self-denial.'
 
That was nothing new to her. She had been doing this for almost twenty
years,and the first meetings were always the hardest, at least for the patient.
Dean had built barricades around him, but Dawn knew that eventually those walls
would break down.
 
Dean would open up and talk eventually. It would just take a little time.
 
*
 
Sam's meeting wasn't going much better. He just closed up into himself and
tried to escape to some deep corner inside his mind; a corner where Gordon
didn't exist and he could pretend that everything had been just a dream. He
only talked when absolutely necessary, but he couldn't talk about how he felt
dirty and ashamed and worthless, even when he knew that what had been done to
him wasn't his fault. And he couldn't talk about the guilt he still carried
inside him. Dean had been hurt, and Sam had done nothing to stop it. Didn't
matter how he had been too hurt and weak to even move, he still felt like it
was his fault. If he had been a good boyfriend, he would have done anything and
everything to keep Dean safe. It was all his fault. And the guilt was killing
him inside.
 
The appointment was mostly filled with silence, and it was over, Sam felt worst
than ever. Weren't those meetings supposed to make him feel better? To get over
it?
It didn't seem to be working.
 
*
 
John and Mary noticed right away that the first counselings hadn't made
wonders. Both Sam and Dean looked more tired than ever, the blank look in their
eyes something that made them feel bad. Even Angela stayed quiet.
 
But maybe in time...
 
Hopefully.
 
Mary hugged them both and asked if they wanted something to eat, but neither of
the boys were hungry, and even if they were, the freshly dug out memories had
made them lost all appetite they might have had.
 
So, Mary and John let them be, watched with worry in their eyes as the boys
went up the stairs and locked themselves inside Dean's room.
 
It had been a hard day, for all of them. It was probably best thing to do to
just let them rest for now.
 
Maybe tomorrow would be better, but Mary knew it was probably just wishful
thinking. After all the boys had went through, it would be a long and rocky
road ahead of them.
 
Thank God they at least had each other.
***** Forced to Face The Facts *****
The days went by. Mary and John tried their best to give all the support as
they could for Sam and Dean, and Angela was back being her snarky self, trying
to lighten the mood when the atmosphere got oppressing.
 
Mostly Sam and Dean just spent all their time together, talking and really
getting to know each other better. They talked about their lives, shared
thoughts and memories and grew closer to each other every day. One thing they
still didn't talk about was what had happened to them on that boat.
 
The other thing they didn't talk about was sex. Sure,they hugged and kissed and
touched each other, but ever since the rescue neither one of them had made any
move to do anything more. And considering how they hadn't been able to go on
one day without sex before the boat incident, not doing anything or even
talking about it was a sure sign that they really needed help.
 
And of course Dawn, who was treating both Sam and Dean, brought it up the next
time Dean was forced to go to see her. At least Dean swore he was forced.
 
“So...” Dawn started the appointment. ”When you were kidnapped,” - at least she
didn't use the word 'raped' - “I heard that your partner, Sam, was there too.”
 
Dean rolled his eyes. Of course the shrink knew that, he was 'treating' Sam
too.
 
“Yeah.” He still answered, since he had learned that if he answered to Dawn's
questions, even with one word that didn't really require him opening up his
soul, the hour would be over much faster.
 
“How do you feel about that?” Dawn asked next and before Dean had even time to
think, he was already almost yelling.
 
“How do you think I feel?! I almost got him killed by introducing him to that
psycho at the first place. Sam almost DIED and it's all my fault!”
 
Dawn hadn't been expecting to get so many words out of Dean. This was progress.
And it was good.
 
Dawn kept questioning and for that hour Dean forgot his defenses and let his
anger and guilt leak out.
The most surprising thing was, that after he left Dawn's office, he was
actually feeling better.
 
*
 
After three more visits to the hospital, Sam and Dean were diagnosed physically
healed. The bruises had healed, stitches removed, and Sam's broken ribs had
healed so fast that even the doctors were surprised. But even when their bodies
had healed, emotionally they were nothing but okay.
 
And even when they still didn't talk about it, the fact that their bodies were
healed, it only resulted to the sex question. Sam was thinking about it, Dean
was thinking about it, but they didn't talk of it. Sam was afraid of freaking
Dean out if he'd bring it up, and Dean was afraid of the exact same thing, and
that was the biggest communication problem between the ever.
 
They talked about everything else, they were comfortable in each others
company, but neither of them didn't bring up the fact that they hadn't had sex
even after the doctor had said that there was no physical condition to prevent
it.
 
The meetings with the psychiatrist continued also. Dawn felt like Dean was
making progress, because even anger and yelling was better than icy silences.
And those were what had been going on during her meetings with Sam. So, the
next time Sam came to see her, she decided it was about time to pull out at
least some kind of reaction out of Sam. Sometimes mental shock therapy worked
better than being kind and understanding, because it was obvious that that
didn't work with Sam.
 
“Good to see you, Sam.” Dawn smiled when Sam stepped into her office and sat
down, preparing himself for another wasted hour. Sam still looked closed up and
avoided Dawn's eyes. “You look much better. Why don't we get started then?” She
looked straight at Sam. “Have you and Dean had sex yet?”
 
Sam's eyes widened. Well, Dawn thought, at least that seemed to work.
 
“What kind of question is that?” Sam sounded angry. Good.
 
“Normal question.” Dawn answered, looking back at Sam's file on her desk. “It's
been two months, the doctors don't see any physical reason why you couldn't,
and Dean's your boyfriend.”
 
When Sam refused to answer, Dawn raised his look from the papers and looked at
Sam again. “Are you afraid of having sex with him?”
 
Sam frowned. Was he? Kissing Dean felt good, touching him felt great, and they
slept naked in the same bed every night.
 
“No.” Sam finally said. “He's never hurt me, unlike that--” Sam stopped in the
middle of his sentence and Dawn decided to give him a minute to think.
 
“So if you're not afraid of it, then why not?”
 
Sam huffed. “I thought you were a shrink, not a sex counselor.”
 
“Well, I am a 'shrink', but my specialty happens to be abuse and rape cases. So
I guess that makes me both your shrink and your sex counselor.” She kept
looking at Sam. “Don't you want to have sex with your boyfriend?”
 
“It's not like that.” Sam muttered, expression morose.
 
“Then what is it?” Dawn asked. When Sam didn't answer, she continued: “Have you
even spoke with Dean about that issue?”
 
Sam's silence was clear enough answer. Dawn sighed. “You should. I can only
offer limited help,but I can tell you this. The longer you two keep avoiding
the subject, the harder it's going to be later. I suggest you talk with him,
openly and honestly. Tell him how you feel, if you have insecurities, doubts or
fears... just talk. And then listen to him. I know it must be hard for both of
you, but you can't keep those things buried inside you forever.”
 
Dawn looked at her desk again and opened her calender. “In fact, the next time
you two come here I want to see you both at the same time.”
 
Sam felt a slight panic rising inside of him.
 
Dean was waiting him in the car outside when Sam got out.
 
“How did it go?” He asked. Sam smiled joylessly.
 
“She wants us both there at the same time next week.”
 
Dean was confused. “Why?”
 
Sam laughed a small laugh, joyless again. “She wants to talk with both of us.”
 
“About what”
 
“About sex.” Sam answered and stubbornly stared out of the passenger's window.
***** Let's Talk About Sex *****
Dean was speechless. For about 1,2 seconds. Then he turned to look at Sam who
refused to look back like the concrete wall outside the passenger window was
the most amazing thing in the whole universe, before gaping and gasping out a
loud: “WHAT???”
 
“You heard me.” Sam replied easily but his voice was pretty toneless, in fact
totally blank. “Our shrink decided to start sex counseling as well and
apparently she just decided to become a couple counselor too.”
 
Dean blinked a couple of times, feeling somewhat dumbstruck but it didn't take
long before irritation took over. “I am SO not gonna discuss about our sex life
with that woman, good intentions or not.”
 
“Not our sex life.” Sam pointed out blankly. “But the lack of it.”
 
“That ain't any of her business!” Dean protested, not believing that Dawn was
planning on something like THAT. Or when he thought more carefully, had most
likely planned it all along. Dean groaned, anger bubbling inside him. “I
still... I don't get it! What does it matter to her what we do between the
sheets? Or don't do! It's none of her business whatsoever!”
 
Sam sighed, tiredly. “She wants to hear about my fears of having sex. And she
apparently thought you should hear about them too.”
 
Dean swallowed, not quite sure how he was supposed to take Sam's words. This
was the first time the whole subject had been brought up, and now that it had,
Dean was really worried. Decision made, he started the car. “Sam. Look at me.”
 
Sam sighed again but reluctantly turned his head towards Dean.
 
“We need to talk.”
 
Sam didn't reply.
 
Back home, Dean led Sam upstairs and told him to sit down on the bed, and Sam
did. The house was empty, which was good, because Dean didn't want any extra
ears listening to this particular conversation.
 
Dean sat on the bed beside Sam but kept a few feet distance between them. The
silence kept stretching as Dean tried so very hard to think of how to start
talking, and he almost startled when Sam finally broke the silence.
 
“You said we needed to talk.”
 
It was like a trigger, and just like that Dean wasn't thinking anymore, just
blurted out the thing that had bothered him the most during the whole drive
back: “Sam, are you afraid?”
 
Sam looked at Dean and frowned, like it was the most stupid question ever.
“What...?” He asked so quietly it was barely a whisper and then huffed. “Of
course I'm afraid. How 'bout the fact that I'm having nightmares even when I'm
not sleeping? I know that he...” - Christ, Sam couldn't even say Gordon's name
out loud - “I know he's locked up and most likely never getting out of that
place, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't--”
 
“Sam.” Dean interrupted because Sam had obviously understood his question the
wrong way, so he decided it was best to be more specific. “Are you afraid of
me?”
 
Sam's eyes widened at the ridiculousness of the question. “No.” He simply said.
“Why would I be?”
 
“Okay then...” Dean took a deep breath and finally asked the question that had
really messed up with his mind. “Are you afraid of having sex with me?”
 
Sam swallowed. Was he? No, the thought didn't make him feel uncomfortable,
just... He really didn't know. “No.” He answered. “I don't know. I mean... I
thought...”
 
“What?” Dean encouraged him. “Go on.”
 
“I thought you were.” Sam confessed finally. “That's why I didn't bring it
up... because I thought you might be afraid and I'd freak you out and...” Sam
looked at Dean and saw him smiling slightly. “What?”
 
“That's the exact same reason why I didn't bring it up.” Dean said quietly,
still smiling softly. “I was afraid that you'd run away screaming if I even
tried to talk to you about it.” Dean went back serious. “You know what, Sam?
There has been some serious lack of communication between us lately.”
 
Sam couldn't agree more, and he had no idea why he still felt tense.
 
It was like Dean was reading his mind.
 
“Hey...” He said softly. ”Don't look so worried. We don't have to do anything
you don't want to, so why won't we just give it a try, just take it slow, and
if at any point, any point at all, anything starts feeling uncomfortable we'll
just stop and you don't need to explain or apologize. Okay?”
 
Finally Sam was able to smile a little. “Okay.” He said quietly, feeling a lot
lighter now that the two-month tension was finally starting to fade away. It
was like a huge bag of stones lifted off his back.
 
“Can I touch you?” Dean whispered, hating the few feet distance between them.
“I just wanna hold you for a while. Please?”
 
Sam didn't answer. Instead he stood up and Dean was scared for a moment that
Sam hadn't been totally honest with him and was now leaving, but then Sam was
sitting on his lap, legs around his waist and kissing him. Dean closed his eyes
and sighed against Sam's lips. If there was a Heaven, for Dean it was the
moment Sam closed his form around Dean in a way that spoke louder than any
words ever could.
 
In the haze of the kiss Dean didn't even realize what Sam was doing before his
belt buckle was open and Sam's fingers fumbled on Dean's fly. Dean's breath
hitched.
 
“Sam...” He breathed. “Sammy... When I said we can take things slow I didn't
mean we should start right this second. I meant...” Dean's voice started
shaking when Sam just continued doing what he was doing, and he definitely
wasn't taking it slow. “What I meant...” Dean tried to force his voice stable.
“I meant that I don't wanna put any pressure on you... push you... I meant that
we can... when you want it.”
 
“I want it now.” Sam simply stated, pushed Dean back first on the bed,
straddling him, and Dean's world was spinning. “I want you now.” Sam looked at
Dean, an unreadable expression on his face. “Don't you want me?”
 
“Jesus, Sam...” Dean groaned, his hands hesitating only for a moment before he
placed them on Sam's hips. “Of course I want you. I wanted you the second I saw
you and it has never changed after that.”
 
“Good.” Sam said, but his eyes were too bright and his voice too clear, and
suddenly Dean was hesitating again.
 
“Sam...” Sam acted like he didn't hear him so Dean didn't see any other option
than to raise his voice a bit. “Sam! Stop!”
 
And just like that Sam stopped, looking at Dean with that same expression on
his face that Dean couldn't quite figure out.
 
“Listen...” Dean said, voice soft again. “I'm not saying that... that this
isn't what I want, but you need to be completely honest with me. Do YOU want
this? I mean really want? Because the look in your eyes is honestly quite
scary, and if this is some sort of self-punishment for whatever you think
you've done, or if you're only doing this because I want it, then I want you to
stop right now.”
 
Sam looked down for a moment, and Dean was worried. Until Sam looked at him
again, and this time the look in his eyes was different. His gaze was gentle,
tender. “I got carried away.” Sam said quietly. “I just thought... I have been
so afraid of losing you, too scared to even talk about it, and now...”
 
“I know.” Dean said softly, and he really did. He had been so afraid of losing
Sam too, afraid that the nightmare they had experienced together had left
wounds too deep and built a wall between them. “Trust me, I know...”
 
Sam smiled a little. “Slow, then?”
 
“Yeah.” Dean breathed, so relieved that Sam wasn't wanting this for the wrong
reasons.
 
And they took it slow, at first just kissing for good ten minutes, hands
mapping every inch of their bodies, soothing and caressing. Then Sam whispered:
“I wanna feel your skin...” and they started helping each other out of their
clothes.
 
In a way it felt like it was their first time together. There was no rush, no
need to hurry, just gentle touches, soft kisses and the feeling of intimacy
like never before. When they finally laid on the bed skin to skin, Sam swore to
himself that he would never again let the lack of communication come between
them. After two months he finally felt like himself. He wasn't thinking about
the past; not even future. All he needed right then was right there in his
arms.
***** More Than Words *****
Even when the ice had been broken, both Sam and Dean were still both slightly
hesitant. Neither one of them was afraid or uncomfortable when the other one
touched the other, in fact it was just the opposite. Both of them carried a
fear inside them, that no matter what they had talked earlier,the other one
would still feel uncomfortable.
 
The shame was still laying beneath the surface, the feeling of being tainted
and not worthy of love. They still had lots of issues to process and a lot of
things to talk about, but right then they were not thinking about that. Even
the self-loathing was forgotten in the tangled mess of arms and legs and heavy
breathing as their hands kept searching for more, wanting for more.
 
Needing for more.
 
Sam was the first to say it out loud. This far it had been just heavy petting,
but Sam's body was screaming for more, and now he was absolutely certain that
he wasn't scared of this, wasn't scared of making love with Dean, not even
fucking with him.
 
“I need more...” Sam whispered against Dean's lips, Dean laying hot and heavy
and familiar on top of him.
“Don't ask me if I'm sure.” Sam said before Dean even had a chance to open his
mouth. “I am. If you are.”
 
Dean nodded after looking at Sam for a moment, then lowered himself down Sam's
body until his head was between Sam's parted legs. Sam closed his eyes and
waited for the moment when the wet heat of Dean's mouth would envelope him, but
instead of taking Sam in his mouth, Dean grabbed Sam's hips gently and pushed a
pillow under his lower back. And then Sam felt Dean's lips, first kissing his
other ass cheek and then the other.
 
“I love you Sam...” Dean whispered before his tongue licked a wet stripe along
the crease of Sam's ass. “Love you more than anything...”
 
Dean kept licking him, his cheeks, his crease, and finally his entrance,
proceeding so slowly like he had all the time in the world and more. Sam threw
his head back and allowed himself to drown in all the sensations and spikes of
pleasure. Carefully Dean pushed the tip of his tongue inside Sam, just a
little, and the moan that escaped Sam's mouth encouraged Dean to do it again.
He loved seeing and feeling Sam like this, filled with pleasure instead of
pain.
 
Finally Dean stopped and climbed back on top of Sam.
 
“What next?” Dean asked quietly. “Tell me what you want.”
 
Sam pulled Dean even closer and kissed him, tongue begging for entrance which
Dean gladly granted him. Even the kiss felt different. It wasn't tongue-
fucking, just slow moving as their tongues mapped every part of their mouths.
 
It was a new experience, especially for Dean who had always thought that sex
equaled hard and rough fucking. But this wasn't fucking, this was making love.
 
“Do you have lube?” Sam whispered and for a moment Dean felt the hesitation
again. Was Sam really ready for this?
 
“Yeah...” Dean whispered back. “In my bag.”
 
“Get it.”
 
Dean kissed Sam once more before getting up and going to his bag. His legs felt
unstable and his head felt light, but he managed to get the lube and then get
back to bed. Sam tried to grab the lube but Dean held it out of his reach.
 
“Are you sure?” Dean asked, and Sam smiled. This was not the right time to
explain why he needed to feel Dean inside him.
 
“More sure than ever.” Sam convinced and Dean whispered 'okay', and popped the
cap of the tube open. One more look at Sam, just to see the look on his face,
and it was so open and trusting, eyes slightly hooded and cheeks flushed. Dean
felt an incredible feeling of tenderness taking over him. This was his Sammy,
enjoying what they were doing, eyes full of love and hope.
 
Dean hadn't seen that hope for too long.
 
Dean slicked his fingers carefully and looked at Sam. “If I hurt you in any
way, or you start feeling something you don't wanna feel...”
 
“I promise.” Sam assured and Dean believed him. Carefully he placed the tip of
his forefinger against Sam's entrance, took a deep breath and pushed the finger
in to the first knuckle. Then he paused, examined Sam's face, seeking for any
sign of discomfort but didn't find any, so he continued.
 
Second knuckle. A pause.
 
Third. A pause.
 
Dean's finger was now fully inside Sam, and that tight heat felt amazing. He
just held his finger there a little longer, enjoying the feeling, before
pulling his finger out and adding a second one. His fingers met less resistance
than before, but Dean wanted to be sure so he carefully started scissoring his
fingers inside Sam.
 
After a while Sam seemed to be ready if the way he moaned quietly and trembled
was any indication. Dean pulled his fingers out and climbed on top of Sam once
again, looking into his eyes and finding an answer to the question he hadn't
even asked yet.
 
Dean reached out next to the bed where a condom was laying next to the lube,
rolled it on and pressed himself once again against Sam. Sam spread his legs
even wider and Dean positioned himself against Sam's slick hole. He pushed in,
ever so slowly, and they both groaned in unison.
 
It was slow and tender and smooth, not quite thrusting, more like writhing
together until they both came and it felt so good it was hard not to start
crying.
 
What had just happened had a deeper meaning to them both, but they didn't want
to think about it now. Not now, when everything just felt so good.
 
The next time when they went to see Dawn, she was expecting that hour to be the
hardest one of all the hours he had spent with Sam and Dean, so her surprise
was justified when both boys walked in smiling and holding hands.
 
“I can see that something has changed since the last time I saw you two.” She
quirked a brow, smiling a little. “So, what has happened?”
 
“Oh, nothing much.” Dean felt like grinning. “Sam and I talked about things.”
 
“And?” Dawn was curious.
 
“And then we had sex.” Dean finally allowed himself to smirk and the only thing
he regretted was that he didn't have a camera with him because Dawn's
expression was something that should have been saved for the generations to
come.
***** One Step Forward, No Step Back *****
Dawn was glad of the shock therapy she had put Sam through the last time
because it had obviously been the right decision to make.
 
She tried to keep herself professional, but it was very, very hard when all she
wanted to do was to grin as she watched Sam and Dean, more relaxed than she had
ever seen them before, holding hands and looking at each other the way that
made her heart melt.
 
Still, there was still a lot of work ahead and it was time to get back on
business.
 
“I'm glad that you decided to talk to Dean.” Dawn said, and then she was really
surprised when Sam told her that it had been Dean who had made it clear that
they needed to talk.
 
Oh.
 
That was something she hadn't expected, but when she thought a bit more, her
last meeting with Dean had went better than expected. Sure, Dean had been
yelling and angry and frustrated, but maybe it had been just that frustration
that had made Dean to take that step to the right direction.
 
Dawn knew that getting emotionally attached to the patients was the number one
on every psychiatrist's do-not-list, but she just couldn't help it; she really
liked these two, and she wanted to do every possible thing in her power to help
them heal as fast as possible.
 
She had read the files, both Sam's and Dean's, over and over again, and of all
the hard cases she had treated during her career, this was on the top of the
list.
 
Dean was emotionally lost, barely even knew the difference between love and
sex, but she had a good hunch that after meeting Sam Dean's thoughts had
changed a lot.
 
Dean had also avoided relationships, but then again, there he was now, with
Sam.
 
His boyfriend.
 
Progress again, and not a small kind. This whole thing with getting into a
steady relationship with Sam had to be a huge thing for Dean, but Dean looked
happy, not a bit uncomfortable.
 
And Sam... Reading Sam's file had been really hard. The boy had lost his
parents when he had been just a kid, tossed into a foster home where he had
been abused until he had ran away, only to end up to the streets selling
himself for drugs at the age when normal kids experienced their first crush.
 
It was heartbreaking. Dawn was really grateful for the Travis couple who had
saved Sam, but at the same time it made her feel sad, thinking about that Sam
had lost them too. Speaking of which...
 
“So you two are staying with Dean's family?” She asked casually. “How is it
going?”
 
“Good.” Dean answered right away. “And I know what you're really asking. Does
my family know about us, and how are they taking it. Well, they know, and
they're fine with it. And stop talking about 'my' family.” Dean smiled at Sam,
a warm smile filled with affection. “It's our family now. Sam is apart of it.”
 
Dawn smiled inwardly. That was so good to hear.
 
“Okay.” She said. “I can't tell you how good that is to hear. Well, you both
know why I wanted you there at the same time but since you two have already
talked about it together... I guess we can move on. The sex. How did it feel?”
 
Both boys grinned widely. “Awesome.”
 
And dawn knew that by that they didn't mean only physically. The first step was
always the hardest, but now they had taken that step, and now the real healing
could finally start.
***** A Warning *****
John was trying to keep his mind blank and his foot on the speed pedal stable
as he took a turn to Hudson River to cross Tappan Zee Bridge, but it got harder
and harder when he got closer to his destination, and by the time he was
driving I-87 South to Bronx border, he was furious.
 
Major Deegan Expressway South to Triboro Bridge, and his hands were gripping
the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white.
 
No one knew he was there, no one except the hospital people he had spoken with
earlier on the phone, and if anyone would ask, John didn't think it was any of
their business. The only one outside the hospital staff who knew was about this
was Bobby, his best friend and currently his alibi also since even Mary didn't
know what John was about to do.
 
When John had asked for Bobby to lie that John was busy with a car or something
if Mary happened to call, his friend hadn't even hesitated.
 
Thank God for friends like Bobby... If Mary knew, she would freak out so bad
that John didn't even want to think about it.
 
Manhattan, right-hand lane. Through the toll booth, following signs to
Randall's Island/Wards Island.
 
John was a Vietnam War veteran. He had seen things that still sometimes, even
after all these years, gave him nightmares, but for the first time in his life
he knew how it felt wanting to kill someone. He didn't know why exactly he was
doing this. He just had to.
 
John passed the Triboro Bridge Authority Building, then the road went
underneath the roadways for the Triboro Bridge. He saw a small blacktop road
which connected Randall's Island to Ward's Island, and he knew he was almost
there.
 
He entered into the Manhattan Psychiatric Center campus which Kirby Forensic
Psychiatric Center, a 200-bed maximum security forensic hospital, was a part
of.
 
The institute for the criminally insane.
 
He drove past guard gate and followed the road around to a high-rise building
with the double 40-foot chain-link and razor wire fence. Parked in the lot and
walked to the entrance where he was required to go through a metal detector and
his belongings were searched.
 
John knew that it was a routine procedure, but maybe it was good that they
checked every visitor. Considering the building's residents, John doubted he
wasn't the first one who had wanted to bring a gun with him and shoot someone's
brains all over the wall.
 
He really would have loved to do that to Gordon Walker, but when a guard
finally led him to meet Gordon, John decided that this was better than Gordon
being dead. The man was just a shadow of his former self. Skinnier, quiet,
obviously heavily drugged with the way his eyes were empty and unfocused. Even
when Gordon had dark skin, the shadows under his eyes were even darker.
 
“I need few minutes alone with him.” John said to the guard who looked worried
for a moment. John noticed that. “You don't need to worry. All I'm going to do
is talk. Few minutes. That's all I need.”
 
The guard hesitated for a few seconds longer but left then, leaving John alone
with Gordon. John just stared at the object of his hate for a while before he
finally spoke. “I just came here to tell you that you'll never get out of this
place.” His voice was low and determined. “You could request for a parole in
twenty years or something, but you wont.” John lowered his voice even more.
“Because if you do that, I will kill you myself with my bare hands.”
 
John kept staring at Gordon who didn't response, but the flicker of fear in his
eyes told John that he had understood.
 
“You ever come near me or my family again, I'll make sure that no one will ever
find your body.” John walked to the door and looked over his shoulder one more
time. “Good that we understand each other.”
 
John didn't feel particularly better when he left Kirby, but he still couldn't
help but relish in the way Gordon's eyes had turned from blank to scared. Good.
At least the bastard now knew how it felt to be afraid. And to be honest, he
had every reason to be.
 
John never made empty promises.
 
*
 
Sam sat on the hood of Dean's car and watched the green fields around them.
Dean had decided that they needed some quality time together, just to relax for
a while, and so he had drove them here, in the middle of nowhere.
 
It was a beautiful day. Sun was shining and it was warm, birds sang, and an
occasional gentle gust of wind made the grass move like waves. Sam leaned
backwards, just enjoying the moment.
 
“What are you thinking?”
 
Sam lifted his head and looked at Dean who was standing between Sam's long legs
that hung off the car's hood.
 
“You.” Sam smiled. “Us.”
 
Dean just smiled softly, bent down and kissed Sam, enjoying the texture and the
taste of Sam's mouth, sliding his hands smoothly down by Sam's flanks until
they rested on Sam's hips.
 
“How do you feel about it?” Dean asked when he eventually, literally had to
force himself to stop kissing Sam. Sam was addictive, and Dean was addicted.
And he liked it.
 
“You mean the sex.” Sam said, not really asking.
 
“Yeah...” Dean bit his lip. “It's been few days now and though it was amazing,
I... I guess I just need to know if you still feel the same about it.”
 
Sam closed his eyes and inhaled deep, taking in Dean's scent. “How do I feel
about it...” Sam muttered and opened his eyes. “Instead of telling you, why
don't I just show you.”
 
They made love on the hood of the car, sunshine warming their already warm
skins and birds singing at the background, but neither of them noticed those
things when all they could concentrate was to each other.
***** Whatever Happens... *****
When Sam and Dean returned home - it made Sam feel slightly giddy that he
actually had a home, not an apartment but a real HOME – John was already back
from his trip to Kirby and once again sitting in the living room, reading. The
smell of something delicious coming from the kitchen suggested that Mary was
cooking something extra special for dinner, and the thing that had happened on
the hood of the car earlier still made both Sam and Dean smile.
 
They were doing fine. After all, they were moving on and the nightmare they had
been through hadn't destroyed them. The healing process was in no way done yet,
and it would still take a lot more time to get over it completely, but they had
strong faith that after they were through the therapy sessions and everything,
life would be even better than before.
 
“Where the hell have you two been?” Asked Angie who walked out of the kitchen.
She had decided to stay at their parent's house until her and Tom were married,
and Dean secretly suspected it wall just to torture her poor fiancé.
 
“Oh, nowhere particular...” Dean tried his best to look innocent but it was
really hard when his mind kept reminding him how they'd had to stop by a car
wash before coming back. The hood had been sticky with sweat and planted with
hand prints and just screaming 'we just had sex on the hood of the car!', and
Dean's lips twitched.
 
Angie narrowed her eyes and pursed his lips.
“You two were so doing it.” She stated, not asked, and went back to kitchen and
Dean allowed himself to grin stupidly. Even Sam couldn't hold a straight face,
and when Dean saw that, he felt even better, seeing Sam happy and relaxed.
“Let's go see Dad, see what he's been up to.” Dean winked.
 
“Hey Dad.” Dean greeted his father smiling. “How was your day?”
 
“Nothing special...” John muttered but eventually looked up. “Hi boys. I
noticed the car wasn't there when I came back-” John blinked. “-ummm, from
Bobby's place. So, where were you two?”
 
John hoped that Dean hadn't caught his second of hesitation, but of course he
had. Sometimes John swore that his son was too smart for his own good.
 
Dean smirked, sat down on a couch and pulled Sam down next to him. “Okay then.
Since were all a big, happy family now, why don't we start sharing and caring,
huh, Dad?”
 
“Fine...” John grumbled. “You two first.”
 
“Well, we drove to this amazing place in the middle of nowhere and then had
amazing sex on the hood of the car.”
 
Dean ignored Sam's incredulous look as well the rather painful bump of Sam's
elbow against his flank. John nearly dropped the book he had been reading and
just stared at the boys for a while, making Sam feel uncomfortable and beyond
and Dean feeling incredibly smug. “So, you?”
 
“I went to Ward Island.” John said with a blank voice, and right that second
Sam tensed, Dean's smugness dropped and he was serious. They knew very well who
was spending a long vacation in that place, but he still asked.
 
“Why?”
 
“You know why.” John's voice was low and dangerous, and for a moment Dean
didn't see his Dad, he saw the soldier who had fought in Vietnam. “To kill
him.”
 
“Did you?” Dean was almost afraid to ask. John sighed.
 
“The place is guarded better than Fort Knox. Metal detectors, belonging
searches. What do you think?”
 
“I think that you don't need anything else but your own two hands – or maybe
just one – to kill someone.”
 
“And you'd be right.” John simply said. “But after I saw him...” John sighed.
“Trust me, by killing him the only thing I would've done was to do him a favor.
Also, if I killed him I'd just end up in prison. Imagine what that would do to
your mother?” John was quiet for a moment.”But I told him that if he ever even
tries to get out of that place, then I will kill him, not even thinking twice.
And he listened.”
 
Dean had a very vivid image of his father saying those words to Gordon, and in
some weird way it made him feel cold. He had heard stories, and he knew what
his father was capable of. John was the kind of man who would protect what was
his to the last breath.
 
“Good to hear that you boys had a good day.” John smiled and just like that the
war veteran was gone and the father was back. “Now go wash up. Dinner will be
ready soon.”
 
Sam and Dean got up and headed upstairs. They washed up in silence, not knowing
what to say. It had been a great day, until Gordon was brought up, and that
reassured Dean of his earlier thoughts. They still had plenty emotional
recovery ahead, if just hearing that psycho's name made them both feel this
agitated.
 
*
 
In his heavily secured room back at Kirby hospital, Gordon sat on the floor and
even when he was heavily medicated, he could still think somewhat clearly.
 
John's visit had been a totally and utterly unexpected surprise. Not to mention
a scary one. The look in that man's eyes when he had said those words...
 
Gordon grimaced.
 
He hated this place. A hospital, huh? This was a fucking prison, that's what
this was! And they had thrown him here like he was some kind of nutcase like
the other 'guests' here. No, no, no... This wouldn't do.
 
Gordon tried to think more clearly, to make some kind of plan. He had to get
out of here. He had to! He cursed the drugs that were pumped into his system
every day, the syringes that were emptied to his veins instead of pills that he
could have at least throw up.
 
But the main point remained. He had to get out. But then he remembered John's
words from earlier...
 
'You ever come near me or my family again, I'll make sure that no one will ever
find your body.'
 
Near his family? Gordon almost snarled. Sam wasn't a part of John's family.
Yeah, Sam was free game. In fact, this was all Sam's fault. That treacherous
whore... And if by some miracle the Winchesters had taken that little slut
under their wings, then...
 
Gordon's eyes looked like they started glowing. He still had faithful, obedient
people outside this place. All he needed was to get in touch with them, but
how? Every fucking phone call was recorded, every letter opened and read before
sent. Fuck!
 
He would find a way. Yes, he would find a way, and then, if he had to, he would
make Sam regret the day his mother had pushed that manwhore out to this world
from between her legs. And then, if he had to, he would do the same to Dean,
and fuck! He would kill the whole fucking family if he had to, and he would
enjoy it. They deserved it, all of them, for doing this to him...
 
Gordon's funds had been frozen, but what the government didn't know was that he
still had millions stashed on secret bank accounts all over the world. He could
kill Sam and the Winchesters and then disappear. Settle down to some country in
South-America.
 
Gordon smiled to himself.
 
Revenge. The word tasted so sweet on his tongue that it nearly made him
salivate.
 
*
 
Sam and Dean laid in bed. It was really late, but neither of them could sleep.
So they talked.
 
They talked about their feelings towards each other, and then, for the first
time they talked about their feelings about Gordon and what he had done to
them.
 
It was painful and opened up countless emotional wounds, but they had both
realized that if they didn't do that, they would never be free.
 
After talking for hours, when there simply wasn't any more words left to say,
the just laid there, holding each other close, just comforting each other.
 
Dawn had decided that it was best to see Sam and Dean at the same time from now
on, and it worked. Both boys talked now. There was no more hiding, no more
denying, they just talked and let it all come out. The healing process was slow
and hard, but Dawn was impressed how fast Sam and Dean still recovered.
 
Weeks passed, and one day Sam and Dean found themselves in a hospital waiting
for the second round of STD results to come up.
 
They hadn't really thought about the possibility that one or both of them might
had caught hepatitis or HIV, it had been the last remain of self-denial they
had hung onto. They had used condoms, so the possibility hadn't been completely
buried under layers of 'we are fine'.
 
Now though, when they waited outside the doctor's office, the reality hit with
full force and there was no hiding from it.
 
“Dean...” Sam whispered and closed Dean's hand into his own. “You know,
whatever the results are... I just want you to know that it doesn't change a
thing about how I feel about you. I love you.”
 
Dean squeezed Sam's hand. “Right back at you.” He said quietly. “Whatever
happens in next few minutes, it doesn't change anything... I mean... anything
that really matters. And if...” Dean swallowed. “Then we just keep on being
careful. Right?”
 
“Yeah.” Sam smiled a little. “You know I would never leave just bec--”
 
Suddenly the door of the doctor's office opened and Sam and Dean were called
in. The doctor told them the news and after that the boys left the hospital.
The drive back
home was spent in silence.
 
But the moment they were back, Dean hauled Sam upstairs, dug out the condoms
from the bedside table drawer and watched Sam as he threw them into the trash
can. Then he was all over Sam, kissing and tasting and touching him.
 
“We're fine...” Dean panted between the kisses. “We're good, we're healthy, you
have no idea how...”
 
The words were cut off short when the backs of Sam's knees connected with the
edge of the bed and he felt back first to the bed, pulling Dean down with him.
***** Yours For The Taking *****

Author's notes: The boys celebrate. In a good way. Don't expect there to be a
plot in this chapter, lol. :P
***
===============================================================================
A sudden knock on the door almost made Sam and Dean jump as they quickly
disentangled themselves from each other and managed to sit by the edge of the
bed just as the door opened. Mary peeked in, took one look of her boys and
couldn't help but smile.
 
“You forgot this to the kitchen table.” She explained and came in, holding a
paper on her hand. The paper that confirmed that the test results had been
negative. “Just thought I'd come to give it to you.”
 
Mary noticed how both boys looked a bit flushed and how they were slightly out
of breath. Sam noticed that Mary
noticed, and he blushed.
 
“Okay then...” Mary smiled. “We decided to go out for movies with John and
Angela and then go eat something. There's lasagna in the fridge if you boys get
hungry, all you need to do is heat it up. We'll be gone for three hours, maybe
four. The house is all yours.” She turned to leave. “Have fun.” Was the last
thing she said before she left. Sam blushed even deeper.
 
“Is it just me or did that just sound like she wants us to hump like rabbits?”
 
Dean laughed. “Maybe. But you missed the main point. The house is ours for the
next couple of hours. So...” Dean turned to Sam, cupped his cheeks and kissed
him slowly before pulling away, and when he spoke again his voice was husky and
low. ”Any ideas how we could spend that time?”
 
The question filled Sam's mind with so many ideas that included sweat, panting
and all things dirty bordering on obscene that he felt himself growing hard in
seconds. The sex had been great, but it had been different, not because it had
been making love instead of hard and rough fucking, but because no matter how
close to each other they had been, there had always been something between
them, and that something had now been thrown to the trash can.
 
“I may have a thought or two...” Sam saw the reflection of his face in Dean's
eyes, filled with lust and heat.
 
“Sam, I know that we've been taking it slow, but--”
 
“We're leaving now!” Came Mary's voice from the upstairs. “Enjoy the evening!”
 
They both heard how the front door opened, then footsteps and the front door
closing behind Mary, John and Angie.
 
“So... It's just the two of us now.” Dean smiled, unable to hide his
excitement. “And the thing I was saying... we've been taking it slow, but I
don't know how much longer I can--”
 
Sam didn't let Dean finish his sentence. He knew what Dean was about to say.
And he wanted that too. Needed it.
Needed Dean.
 
Sam got up so fast that Dean had no time to react at all. The next thing he
realized was that Sam had him pinned against a wall, his mouth crushed against
Dean's and devouring it with passion and frustration. Finally Sam backed off,
just an inch, breathless.
 
"Tell me to stop." He panted. "Tell me to stop right now if you're not ready
for this because I swear I won't be able to stop if you don't stop me right the
fuck now..."
Dean wrapped his fingers around Sam's neck, pulling him in closer and kissing
him deeply again.
 
"No. No stopping." Dean whispered against Sam's lips. He cupped Sam's face with
his hands, looking deep into Sam's hazel eyes. ”This is exactly what I want
too.”
Letting go of Sam's face, Dean unbuttoned Sam's jeans, slipping his hand into
the restricting denim and palmed Sam's hardness. "Oh fuck yeah..." Dean
groaned, rubbing and squeezing the hard heat.
 
"Fuck..." Sam groaned as Dean's hand pressed against his achingly hard cock.
"Christ..." He breathed out and let his head fall down on Dean's shoulder,
pressing himself closer, closer to the heat of Dean's hand and that mindblowing
pressure.
 
"Oh Jesus fuck, Dean..." Sam panted. "What do you wanna do? Tell me... What do
you wanna do?"
 
"I wanna... god I wanna fuck you so bad..." Dean whispered, kissing the corner
of Sam's mouth. He squeezed his fingers around Sam's cock, stroking it from
base to tip. "Wanna bend you over, fuck you so hard you'll be screaming my
name." Dean growled, sealing their lips together and kissing Sam with broad,
lingering strokes of his tongue against Sam's which made Sam moan into Dean's
mouth.
 
Breaking the kiss with a soft smacking sound Dean rested his forehead against
Sam's, looking down and watching his hand working on Sam's cock. Sam panted,
hands finding the waist of Dean's obscenely low hanging jeans, opening the fly
and hands diving in, other to the back to cup Dean's ass cheek and other to the
front to curl around Dean's cock. "I really don't care about anything else but
to get you inside me and fast..." Sam tilted his head and nipped Dean's neck
while his hand kept stroking him, firm grip on firm flesh.
 
Sam lifted his head and licked his lips, pupils blown wide and eyes heavy-
lidded. "Come on then, show me what you're made of..." He whispered and started
backing up towards the bed, holding Dean's dick like he was leading him from
it. And holy shit it felt amazing, like all the barriers had been crushed at
once and there was nothing left but the two of them and lust and desire and
sheer want. It felt dirty and obscene and so fucking right, now that they both
had made clear that they were ready for something more than gentle love making.
 
It felt liberating.
 
They fell on the bed rather ungracefully but who cared. It was messy kissing
and flailing limbs and Sam just loved it. When Dean grunted "Off" Sam was more
than ready to tear his clothes apart. And Dean's. Kissing, biting and licking,
a perfect lust-drunk haze that emptied his universe until there was nothing
left except Dean's fingers that found Sam's nipples, pinching and rolling them,
Dean pushing Sam's jeans down and off.
 
"Turn around." Dean's voice was husky and rough, like a perfect combination of
whiskey and burnt sugar and Sam saw Dean taking out the bottle of lube. But no
condoms this time. No, he thought to himself, not ever again.
 
Sam turned around eagerly, moaning as Dean pressed two palms against the firm
flesh, kneading the soft muscle, thumbs pulling at the cheeks to expose Sam's
most private parts to him. God dammit it was hot...
 
"Fuck Sammy..." Dean whispered and pressed one hand between Sam's shoulders,
bending him down even more and Sam breathed heavily, stretching his arms above
him, like he was praying, or, like what he was doing, surrendering. He was now
Dean's for the taking, bent over and offering himself for Dean. 'Oh my God...'
was the only thing Sam's brain could come up with when Dean's hand was on his
cock again and on his balls, other hand still kneading his ass, and it was just
perfect. He let out a surprised bark of breath when Dean suddenly got to his
knees, and the next thing Sam felt was licking and sucking, tongue and lips
when Dean started rimming him.
 
At first it made Sam tense, just because of the surprise and the incredible
sensation that made him shudder, but Dean kept going and Sam moaned and
relaxed. And then there was a finger pushing into him and he almost yelped.
Holy fucking god fucking finally! His head was spinning and his body was on
fire.
 
Dean pulled out and Sam grunted as two slick fingers pushed in this time,
fucking him open until Sam was ready to fall through the mattress, it felt so
good. "Tell me if I hurt you, okay?" Dean whispered against Sam's back, kissing
the sweaty skin. "Don't want to hurt you baby." Dean said, licking up Sam's
back as he pushed in a third finger.
 
Sam gasped. "I'm good... Oh God I'm good..."
 
After a while of finger fucking Dean pulled out. "Hope you're ready." Dean
said, and then Sam felt Dean pressing against his hole and then slowly pushing
in, slowly, inch after agonizing inch. "You okay, Sammy?" Dean panted once he
was seated deep inside Sam, his balls touching Sam's ass. He stayed still and
Sam panted, sweat dripping down his face. Dean. Was. Big. And Sam felt like he
had been impaled, which in fact he was. And it was amazing. Holy shit. This was
so much better without the rubber between them, so much more intense and
intimate. Dean's hand went around Sam's hips, reaching down to stroke Sam's
cock, slow and steady, enough to keep Sam hard but not enough to bring him off
and Sam moaned.
 
"Fucking fuck me already, I'm dying here!" He gasped and rocked his hips to get
Dean moving.
 
"Fuck yeah." Dean groaned, pulling out slowly and then snapping back in,
driving Sam hard against the mattress. Jesus but it felt good, being taken like
this. Dean bent forward, an arm wrapped around Sam's waist, driving himself
deeper. And while Dean started giving it to him hard and fast, making Sam
almost slide forward with the force of his thrusts, Sam came to a blurry
conclusion that if being fucked like this made him this hard and horny, then if
he had ever questioned it before, now he had his answer. He was a total sub.
 
"Sam... Sammy... so beautiful... so, so beautiful. Been wanting this..." Dean
whispered and Sam groaned. 'Oh hell yeah me too', Sam thought just as Dean's
cock brushed against his prostate and that made him see stars and keen and arch
his back, pressing himself against Dean's chest.
 
"Oh yeah... you like that." Dean said and Sam moaned, rocking back to Dean's
thrusts as they sent the sparks of pleasure through his body again and again.
Mouth on the back of Sam's neck, teeth catching on soft skin, leaving marks...
perfect. Dean's one arm stayed wrapped around Sam's waist, keeping him steady
while the other one sneaked around Sam's hips, fingers curling around Sam's
cock as he started stroking in tandem to his own thrusts.
 
Sam groaned when Dean sped up, going faster and faster, harder and harder until
Sam was sure they would fall of the bed, and then he felt Dean's hips snapping
into him slightly differently, felt Dean's cock pulse deep inside him, and as
Dean fucked Sam through his orgasm, fingers tightening on Sam's cock, Sam came
only a moment after Dean did, whimpering and trembling.
 
Holy shit. That was intense.
 
"You okay?" Dean whispered as he pulled out slowly. Sam grunted and winced a
little but managed to say 'yeah'. It was about as smart as he would get for the
next few minutes with the orgasm making his brain blurry and his body boneless.
 
They spent few minutes just trying to catch their breaths and calm down their
beating hearts. “Shower...” Dean finally grunted and they showered together,
kissing under the warm spay of water. "I love you..." Dean whispered against
Sam's lips, pulling closer and wrapping his arms around Sam's waist, hugging
him such that his chest was pressed up against Sam's back. He rested his head
in the middle of Sam's shoulder blades, hands caressing small circles into
Sam's belly. Sam let out a breath.
 
"I know." Sam whispered back. "And I love you so much it sometimes hurts." He
swallowed. "I can't live without you, Dean. I don't want to." He took a deep
breath and turned around, their soap-slick bodies making the movement easy. He
pulled Dean close, other arm around Dean's waist, other hand holding the back
of Dean's head, caressing the moist hair, memorizing the shape of his skull
even when he remembered every shape of Dean's body already, knew it as well as
he knew his own. He pressed his forehead against Dean's, felt the warm breaths
on his face, and all he wanted to do was kiss Dean, kiss him until the outside
world would melt away and disappear and there would be nothing but the two of
them and Sam wouldn't know where he ended and Dean begun.
 
“I still want more...” Sam breathed. Even after the orgasm that had almost made
him black out, it seemed that his appetite was not fulfilled just yet. “You
feel so good inside me. Just you, without anything between us...”
 
Dean smiled softly, hands reaching up to clutch at Sam's shoulders, blunt nails
digging into soft, warm flesh. "I know the feeling." He whispered. He looked
into Sam's eyes and saw the desire reflected in them, darkening them with heat
and Dean's own smoldered in response. He could never resist Sam. He didn't want
to.
 
Their lips met softly, and as Dean's mouth met his own, Sam felt his head
spinning and his world turning. It was like he was a dry desert, and Dean was
fresh and clean rain, making him alive and fertile again. It was liberating. It
was amazing. Sam's breathing became shorter and harsher with every slide of
tongue, every hungry dive into that perfect mouth until his head was spinning
and his legs felt weak. But if he thought he felt weak then, it was nothing
compared to when Dean suddenly dropped down on his knees. Sam's breath hitched
in his throat, abs tensed, mouth opened in anticipation because he knew, yes,
he knew what this meant, and even the thought alone made his dick throb
painfully between his legs and even when he had just came like twenty minutes
ago, he was still afraid he would come the moment Dean's mouth touched him.
 
And then Dean sucked the head in between his lips, licking at the slick tip as
his hands played with the shaft, the balls, the sensitive skin behind them...
and then he rubbed the tip of one finger around the ring of muscle that was
still slick and loose from earlier, and Sam let out a choked cry when Dean
sucked him down and at the same time pushed three fingers inside him, all at
once. It was almost too much. Almost, and yet it wasn't nearly enough. Good,
but never enough when Sam knew what else Dean had to give. No matter how often
Dean did these things to him, it was always amazing and Sam gladly let Dean
turn him into a mindless mess, begging and pleading and crying for more.
 
Dean moaned once his nose was buried in Sam's pubic hair. Sam looked down, eyes
glassy, the obscene sight made him squeeze his eyes shut tight and throw his
head back against the shower booth wall with and audible thud. Sam panted, hips
fighting to stay still and not drive mindlessly
into the wet heat as he felt how Dean pulled off slowly, all the way such that
only the head of his cock remained in his mouth before plunging forward again
just as his fingers pressed against Sam's prostate.
 
Sam's knees buckled before he found his balance again, the burn inside him
making him unable to breath and he gasped for air until a desperate sound that
he didn't recognize as his own voice escaped his mouth. And then he was
spilling curses and endearments mixed together, clawing the wall trying to find
something to hold on because with every suck, with every brush against his
prostate Sam felt weaker and weaker, his thighs trembled, he whined low in his
throat, every single thought vanished from his head, unable to do nothing but
feel, just... feel.
 
"Dean..." Sam choked out. "Please... please, I can't, I can't... in me, please
Dean, please now..." He was going to pass out if Dean didn't fuck him again and
soon, threw him over the edge and owned him because Dean was the only one who
could do that.
 
Dean pulled his mouth and fingers away, got up and looked at Sam, fire burning
in his eyes, erection hot and heavy against Sam's thigh. “Bed. Now.” Dean
simply said and they fumbled back to the messed up sheets that smelled like sex
and desire and them.
 
Sam was lost in sensations. He felt hot, so hot it was like the heat was
scorching his insides, and that simple grunt, "Bed. Now.", had made another
wave of arousal wash over him, so strong it hurt. His body was on fire, his
every cell hypersensitive, and when Dean pushed him down to the bed... to Sam
it felt like a victory. He loved every kind of sex with Dean, but when Dean got
like this... Rough, dominating, demanding... It was like Sam had a permission
to be weaker than Dean, and he was. He was always weaker than Dean when his
Dean got like this, and Sam loved it.
 
Sam watched Dean with hooded eyes, drinking in the sight of Dean's body, his
strong muscles, beautiful hands... and then he didn't see Dean's hands anymore
as his fingers plunged into Sam's ass again, making Sam's back arch with
pleasure. "So beautiful... my Sammy..." Dean whispered, lips pressing urgent
kisses against the swollen ones under him as his body covered Sam's, Sam's legs
on either side of his hips, one lifted to wrap around his waist so that Dean
could reach so deep inside him. Sam keened and panted so fast as the fingers
did incredible things inside him.
 
Dean kissed Sam deeply when he pulled his fingers out only to guide himself
into him. Dean moaned as his cock sunk inside Sam, and Sam felt Dean's body
tremble. Dean kept pushing in deeper and deeper until he was balls-deep,
driving Sam out of his mind with the overwhelming pleasure that made him see
stars and cry out loud.
 
"Love you so much, baby." Dean whispered into the heated skin of Sam's neck.
 
"Love you too..." Sam panted. "Love you, want you, need you..."
 
Dean whispered soft endearments to Sam, hands caressing wherever they could,
and Sam reached to touch Dean, hands trying to touch every single inch of that
heated skin. And then Dean started moving, his arms wrapped around Sam tight,
his cock moving in and out only by a couple of inches and Sam whined and
growled, wanting more, wanting it hard and rough, the way that would throw them
both into sweet oblivion. Dean only kept it up for a few moments before he
twisted, throwing his weight to the side and took Sam along with him. Then he
was laying on his back with Sam on top, his cock still buried deep inside. Sam
looked Dean in the eyes, those deep, green eyes that reflected the lust in his
own eyes.
 
"Ride me, Sammy." Dean whispered hoarsely. "I wanna see you fuck yourself on
me. Wanna see you lose control." Dean groaned, hands holding Sam's hips
lightly, not gripping or controlling but just resting there. Sam didn't need to
be told twice, he straddled Dean so that Dean sank inside him so deep that Sam
was sure he could taste Dean in his throat. He stayed still for few seconds,
body rigid and unmoving, back arched and head thrown back, and then he started
to move, to ride Dean hard and fast, feeling Dean filling him to the core over
and over again until his rhythm started faltering and his balls drew up, the
pressure climbing higher.
 
"Are you close?" Sam gasped, looking Dean in the eyes again, riding him faster
and faster, rolling his hips to feel Dean's cock abusing his prostate the
sweetest way ever. "I'm so close... Dean, I'm so close... Come with me, come
with me, please..." He clenched his ass muscles, intending to milk Dean dry,
and a bestial scream escaped his mouth as he couldn't hold on any longer and
came so hard he saw white. He kept riding Dean hard and fast through his
orgasm, every thrust making his orgasm last longer and longer until he felt
like he couldn't breath.
 
Dean couldn't handle more than just a 'Nngh' in answer as Sam writhed on top of
him, lighting every nerve on fire with pleasure until Sam was screaming his
release, clamping down on his cock in a vice grip and Dean arched his back, a
keening whine escaping him when he emptied into Sam.
 
Sam went completely still for a second before his body started spasming,
aftershocks ravishing his body, all strength leaking out of his body, and he
collapsed against Dean's chest, sweaty, out of breath, barely conscious. His
head was resting on Dean's shoulder, their bodies slick with sweat and come,
and Sam was too weak to even move.
***** Read Between The Lines *****
As weeks passed, Gordon's feelings turned from furious to desperate. He had
thought everything, every possibility to get out of this place, and the thing
he came up with? Nothing. If only he could reach the outside world, make just
one single phone call without being listened while he talked... But no. Kirby
wasn't called maximum security facility for nothing.
 
He thought and thought, but the only result was that he started feeling like
his head was going to explode any second. Still, there had to be a way...
 
He didn't belong here. This place was a loony bin.
 
The only good thing was that Gordon's body was starting to adjust to the
sedatives and other drugs that were pumped into him on daily basis. Of course
he didn't show it, just acted like he was still halfway out of this world and
so the doctors didn't increase his dose. Day by day thinking got easier when
his mind wasn't clouded by chemicals anymore. And then one day he figured it
out. A way out of this place.
 
Christ, why hadn't he thought about that earlier? He had a right to meet his
relatives, prisoner or not. It was his civil right, and he knew exactly who he
wanted to meet. Of course he would have to meet that relative here, in this
place, because there was no way he was getting out to of here and sit down at
some café and have espresso with his cousin.
 
God he missed espresso... The coffee here was like something between horse piss
and toxic waste. And the food... No wonder he had lost weight. But that would
change as soon as he would be out of here.
 
Gordon acted all regretful when he forced himself to plead for a chance to meet
his cousin. He hated it because Gordon Walker never pleaded for anything, he
just did or took what he wanted, but well... Desperate times, desperate
measures...
 
The warden – fucking Nazi if you asked Gordon - was 'kind' enough to agree on
Gordon's request when Gordon explained that his cousin was his only living
relative, especially when during the last month Gordon had behaved exemplary,
taken part on therapy sessions – which he had hated by the way - and even
addressed his regret of what he had done – which he had hated even more -.
 
Gordon was pleased when he returned to his room.
 
A room? It was a prison cell, but he didn't care much about that anymore, not
when he knew that he would be out soon.
 
His cousin, Greg, would be his ticket out of here. Greg was younger than
Gordon, adored his older cousin and would do anything for him without
questioning, but was also sharp as hell. When Gordon wrote him a letter,
telling how lonely he was in this place and how he just wanted to see Greg, he
smiled to himself. There was nothing in that letter that would raise suspicions
with the people who would read the letter before sending it, but like Gordon
had mused earlier, Greg was sharp and would easily read between the lines
written.
 
Gordon laid down on his bunk and closed his eyes. Just a little longer, and he
would get his freedom.
 
And his revenge.
 
*
 
Dawn decided that her work was done. Sam and Dean had recovered amazingly well,
and Dawn simply didn't know what else she could do anymore. The boys were happy
together, closer than ever, and there was also the thing that sooner or later
they would have to return to their normal lives. The sooner the better.
 
John agreed. Even Mary did, even when the thought about his boys leaving made
her feel kinda teary but at the same time she was happy that things had turned
out fine. And besides,the boys would be only one hour drive away.
 
John told Dean to take few weeks off from work just to settle down with Sam and
said he'd handle the company during that time, just like he had done while Dean
had been recovering.
 
Dean was grateful for that.
 
They decided that Sam and Dean would stay for one more week and then return to
their own apartment, and Dean refused to hear Sam's protests of how it was
Dean's apartment, not his. Finally Dean got sick of Sam's explanations and
reasoning and decided to just say it how it was.
 
“You agreed to move in with me. In fact you already did.” Dean said,
practically cornering Sam. “You have the keycard to the place, all your stuff
is there, and unless something has made you change your mind, I really don't
see what's your problem.”
 
“But the rent--” Sam tried but Dean stopped him before he got any further.
 
“I own that apartment. There is no rent.”
 
“But I haven't found a job yet, and I'm out of money. I wanna pay my share of
the living costs.”
 
Dean sighed. “I still owe you a hundred grand. And you have a credit card.”
 
“Yeah, which you gave me and pay for!”
 
Dean groaned, frustrated. Finally he took his sternest look and forced Sam to
meet his gaze. “Do you want to live with me or not?”
 
Sam blinked. “Of course I do, it's just--”
 
“Okay.” Dean said, voice calmer now. “Let's make a deal. I can't cook. Hell,
put me into a supermarket and I don't even know what to do there! So, Sam, this
is the deal; you do the grocery shopping and cook, and I get a warm meal every
day. If it makes you feel any easier, that is your new job. Until you find
something.” Dean smiled. “Deal?”
 
Sam shook his head but grinned nevertheless. “Deal.” He finally said.
 
“Good.” Dean looked pleased. “Another week here and then we go home. Our home.
And if you even try to bring this up again, I'll drag you to the bedroom and
stuff your mouth full of something that prevents you from speaking.
Understood?”
 
“Totally.”
 
After all, even when Sam didn't bring it up again, they still ended up in bed
where Dean did exactly what he had promised. After that Dean returned the
favor, and to be honest Sam was slightly excited of the prospect of going home
with Dean.
 
Another week. What could possibly go wrong?
 
*
 
Gordon sat on a chair, looking at Greg who was sitting at the other side of the
plastic table between them. Family meetings were private, but Gordon was still
careful with what he said.
 
“I've been thinking...” He started. “Remember the time when we took that
holiday and flew to Panama few years ago?”
 
Greg nodded. “It was a great vacation.” He said, and they both knew what the
other one was thinking. Not only the cheap booze and beautiful landscapes, but
also a hooker they had rented. A hooker that had experienced the biggest
surprise of her life when Gordon and Greg had had their way with her and by now
she was now probably just a skeleton in a shallow grave in the middle of the
jungle.
 
“I know I'll never get out of this place.” Gordon said, still looking at his
cousin. “But if things hadn't turned out this way... I'd love to see more of
the world.”
 
And just like Gordon had known, Greg could read between the lines.
 
“We're almost out of time.” He said, taking a glimpse at the clock on the wall.
“But it was good to see you, Gordon. I'll write you in few days, and I'll come
back to see you as soon as I can.”
 
What Greg really meant was 'I won't write you but I'll get you out of here in
few days', and Gordon smiled.
 
“Thanks. It's really good to have family like you.”
 
“We're blood.” Greg said as he stood up. “I'd never abandon you.”
 
Yeah, Gordon thought when Greg had been escorted out and Gordon was taken back
to his room. It really was good to have family like his cousin. Two days?
Gordon had to give it to him, the guy was even better than he had imagined.
***** Almost Didn't Count *****
Three days later, Gordon was standing in the shadows beside the Wichester's
house.
 
Breaking out had been almost too easy, and Gordon promised himself never again
underestimate his cousin's skills. What could he say? Money talked, shit
walked, and after Greg had had a small discussion with a night guard on duty,
turned out that people who were overloaded with work and underpaid for doing
that work were not that hard to negotiate with, especially when they were
promised million dollars for their services.
 
Gordon wanted to laugh out loud, but he had to keep quiet. Still he couldn't
help the amused smirk that crept on his face. He had literally walked out of
Kirby, with guard's uniform and fake ID and the bribed guard who had drove him
to the place where the money transfer was supposed to take place. And where
Gordon had shot the guard in the head since why waste million bucks to some
sloppy scumbag? Gordon rolled his eyes.
 
He was crouching under a slightly opened window, apparently the kitchen, since
he could smell food and hear people talking. He recognized John's voice
immediately, and then there was laughter. Gordon's lips curled into a menacing
smirk.
 
They wouldn't be laughing for much longer.
 
It had been almost too easy to track them down. The number was on the telephone
book, and so was the address. Greg had called the Winchesters just before they
had drove here, pretending to be a phone salesman selling magazines or
something, to make sure that the family was at home.
 
Gordon listened more carefully, and then he heard Dean's voice, and then Sam's.
It made his blood boil with rage and he had to calm himself down before he did
something stupid like jump through the window and kill them on the dinner
table. Well, killing was the plan, but he had to wait. He wanted everyone to be
asleep before he entered the house and slaughtered them one by one. He would
start with Sam and Dean, creep into their room and silence them. Not kill them
yet though, just make sure that they wouldn't be able to make any sounds at all
while he'd go through the rest of the house, kill John, then John's precious
wife and then his daughter.
 
Gordon thought about that. Maybe he wouldn't kill the girl right away. He could
rape her in front of her big brother, and then kill her and have his fun with
Sam and Dean before killing them. Yes, that was exactly what he was going to
do.
 
Gordon flinched when Greg appeared from around the corner. His cousin? Smart,
sure, but not very smooth, and Gordon gestured him to be more careful and not
make any noise. He didn't want the fun end before it had even begun.
 
He knew that by now every damn cop and other member of law enforcement was
looking for him, but he wasn't worried. He only needed few more hours, and then
he would disappear for good. There was a private jet already waiting for him at
the nearby field, ready to take him where ever he wanted to go. Those nazi cops
would never find him.
 
*
 
Sam was enjoying the dinner. Not only the food, but also the company. Family.
The conversation came easily and even when Sam had been doubtful at first,
Dean's family had welcomed him in with open arms, even after finding out what
exactly his relationship with Dean was. In fact,it didn't seem to bother them
at all. Sam hadn't been so worried about how Mary and Angie would take it, but
it still surprised him how well John was taking it. The only thing John had
done was to ask Sam and Dean spare him from the details. Sam grinned.
 
It was almost 10:30pm when they finally decided it was time to head to their
rooms. Dean took Sam's hand and they retreated to their bedroom where Dean
kissed Sam silly. Too tired to do anything more than kiss and grope each other,
they decided to call it an early night, stripped, and slipped under the
blanket.
 
Four more days and they would head back home. Not that Sam had any thoughts
about this place being his home as well, and it made him even happier. After
not having a real home for years, he now had two. And a family. Wonderful,
loving, caring family that made him feel like the luckiest man on earth.
 
And he had a life partner. A wonderful, loving, caring man who was everything
Sam had ever wanted but never before been even wished to have. And yet here he
was, with Dean who mumbled something in his sleep and pulled Sam closer to his
body.
 
Sam closed his eyes and was still smiling when he fell into a deep, restful
sleep.
 
*
 
Gordon waited until all the lights in the house were out, and then he waited
some more, just to be sure. Greg stood beside him, seemingly excited about the
fact that Gordon had promised to share Sam, Dean, and the little sister with
him.
 
Around 11:30 they sneaked to the back door, Greg picked the lock open without
making a sound and they listened for a while. Nothing but silence greeted them,
so they stepped inside, leaving the back door open and headed deeper into the
house, soft sneakers walking soundlessly along the floor.
 
It was a nice house. Of course it was, considering the rich bitches that lived
there. The stairs didn't creak when they headed upstairs and studied it. Gordon
peeked through one open door, saw John and his slut wife, both in deep sleep.
Good. Then he checked the other open door and caught a glimpse of blond hair on
the pillow. So, that was the little sister then... Her face was turned away,
but considering how pretty Dean was, Gordon was sure the girl wouldn't be a
disappointment either. Especially with her beautiful features twisted in pain
and begging for Gordon to stop, and then Greg. Hmmm, maybe he'd take the girl
with him. Have her as his own personal sex slave... at least until he would
grow bored of her.
 
There was one more door. It was closed, but Gordon didn't need to look inside
to know that that was the room where Sam and Dean slept. Gordon took two
syringes out of his pocket and handed one for Greg. This would have to be done
fast. One yell and it could ruin everything.
 
The door opened without making a sound and for a second Gordon just stood
there, looking at those two – a whore and a whore's lover – in the dim
moonlight that illuminated the room. But there was no time to waste, so he
gestured Greg to follow him, walked silently to the bed and took the cap off
the syringe at Sam's side while Greg did the same beside Dean's sleeping form.
 
Gordon was more than happy to see that Sam's arm was not under the blanket but
rested by his side, and Gordon could see a vein easily.
 
Sam's eyes opened slowly when a sting on his arm pulled him out of his dream,
but at the same moment he started feeling drowsy, like he was pulled under
water, and he thought he saw-- And his blood felt like it was turning into ice
in his veins.
 
He fought to move or at least keep his eyes open, but it felt impossible and no
matter how much he fought against the darkness that was swallowing him, a cold
voice in his head told him that he had already lost the battle.
 
The last thing he heard, or thought he heard before the darkness claimed him
was a loud yell of anger, and then a loud bang. But he couldn't be sure because
the next second everything went black.
 
Greg was about to inject Dean, when some primitive instinct made Dean's eyes
open wide, and what he saw...
 
Greg quickly pushed a hand against Dean's mouth, almost covering his nostrils
too and it was hard to breath. Dean growled against the hand that was
suffocating him, and Greg had to struggle with one arm to expose Dean's arm
which wasn't easy since now that Dean was fully awake he was fighting back with
everything he had. Gordon's face had turned irritated and frustrated as he left
Sam's unmoving body and went to the other side of bed to help his cousin.
 
Suddenly there was a yell – or more like a roar – coming from the door and it
took both Gordon and Greg by surprise so much that Greg's hand slipped away
from Dean's mouth as they both looked at the door, and then there were two loud
gunshots.
 
Greg dropped to the floor instantly, but Gordon was so stunned he didn't even
feel the pain yet. He just kept shifting his eyes from John, standing on the
doorway with a gun still pointed at him, to his chest where his shirt started
turning dark red as the blood poured out of the gunshot wound.
 
“I warned you.” John said with a cold voice, rage barely hidden underneath it,
and Gordon opened his mouth but no words came out because even when he hadn't
felt the pain before, he was definitely feeling it now.
 
His heart stopped before he even hit the floor.
 
Dean was in shock. For a moment he couldn't speak, couldn't think, couldn't
even move, he just stared at his father with wide eyes until the shock turned
into panic when he realized that Sam wasn't moving, wasn't doing anything.
 
“SAM!!!” Dean screamed, but Sam didn't hear that.
 
*
 
Sam woke up slowly. He was feeling weird. He remembered Gordon and some other
guy, he remembered the second he had realized that he had been injected, and he
remembered thinking 'heroin... not again'. But he wasn't feeling bad like after
waking up after being drugged with heroin. He didn't feel nauseous, didn't even
have a headache.
 
Was he dead?
 
Slowly he took in his surroundings. He was in bed, and he recognized the room.
It was the same room where he had lost consciousness, so apparently he wasn't
dead. He had no idea why he felt so calm, just turned his head to the side and
experienced the first emotion through his numbness which was surprise, since
there was John, sitting on a chair beside the bed, looking at him.
 
“W-what... happened...?” Sam whispered, confused, since even though he
remembered bits from here and there, his mind was still foggy and confusing
things.
 
John just sighed, and it was a sight of regret and self-accusation. “I should
have been more careful. I'll never forgive myself that.”
 
“They...” Sam swallowed. “T-they drugged me... with... something...”
 
“Midazolam.” John answered. “It's used as prep-anesthetic in surgeries. The
doctor checked you. You're fine. Might feel a little tired for a while but
it'll pass.”
 
Sam closed his eyes. “Gordon?
 
“Dead.” John said with a tone that Sam didn't quite recognize. “So is his
cousin, the other man who was here.”
 
Sam nodded. The loud bang he thought he had heard...
 
“Did you...?”
 
“Yes.” John answered without even hesitating. He remembered waking up to a
feeling that something was wrong, terribly wrong, and for the first time he was
honestly glad of the things and instincts Vietnam had taught him. “I called the
police as soon as I had called the doctor.”
 
Police... Sam swallowed even harder. John had shot two people. Did it mean that
now he would--
 
It was like John had read Sam's mind. “It was self-defense. There will be no
consequences.”
 
Sam was honestly relieved to hear that, but he had to work really hard to steel
himself before asking the question he had held back because he was too afraid
of what the answer might be.
 
“Dean...?” Sam whispered so quietly it was hardly audible. John saw how scared
Sam was and brushed a bang of hair off Sam's forehead, smiling softly.
“Sleeping in the next room. The intruders didn't have time to drug him but the
doctor had to sedate him because he was screaming and panicking and we couldn't
convince him that you're not dead.” After a moment of silence John looked at
Sam, the boy he had learned to consider a part of his family, and the look in
his eyes turned softer. “It's all over now.” He said quietly. “It's really
over.”
 
Sam nodded again. He believed John. Gordon was dead. It really was finally
over. “I want to see Dean...”
 
John smiled. “I'll take you to him.” And since Sam was still a bit out of it,
John helped him out of bed and supported him while leading him to the master
bedroom, laying him beside Dean who was sleeping, breaths even and calm. And
when Sam was next to him, arms around Dean and head resting against Dean's
shoulder, he felt like he could finally breath.
***** Waking Up To You *****
Dean's world was slowly swimming into focus. Very slowly. He was in bed and
feeling like he had slept for about three years or something, his head felt
stuffy, like it was full of cobwebs and dust. And he didn't like that feeling,
not one bit, so he fought against the drowsiness and tried to clear his mind,
tried to make some sense to why he was feeling like that at the first place.
 
Slowly he started remembering things, bits and pieces. Opening his eyes. Seeing
Gordon. The suffocating hand pressing against his face. Dad...
 
Dad had... Dad had shot Gordon. Just like that. Dean closed his eyes again and
decided that it was a good thing.
 
What had happened after that? Dean's mind was still foggy and unclear. Police.
A doctor.
 
Sam.
 
Sam, unmoving and unresponsive beside him. Dean swallowed thickly. Sam... He
now remembered how he had panicked, refusing to let go of Sam's limp body when
the doctor had arrived because Sam was his, HIS goddammit and he didn't want
anyone touching Sam, not his Sammy, the light and love of his life. Dean's
chest constricted painfully. Sam...
 
He remember his Dad trying to talk to him, the doctor talking, Saying that Sam
was only unconscious but what the fuck, they were just trying to comfort him,
nothing more, because Sam was...
 
Dean couldn't even think about that word. No. Just no. Why???
 
He felt painful tears crowding behind his closed eyelids. Everything had been
so good... And then Gordon had destroyed it all. And even when Gordon was dead
now... It didn't mean a thing. Gordon had won. After all these years, trying to
break Dean, Gordon had finally succeeded.
 
Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing.
 
“Sam...” Dean whispered and felt a tear fall down his cheek. “Sammy...”
 
Sam had dozed off while waiting for Dean to wake up, and it was the silent
whisper that pulled Sam out of his sleep. “Dean...?” Sam whispered and turned
from his back to his flank to look at Dean who looked like the weight of the
world had been laid on his shoulders. “Hey babe.”
 
Dean's eyes opened wide, and for a brief moment he thought that he was either
hallucinating or gone insane, both seemingly very plausible options because
Sam, Sam had been--
 
“You slept a long time.”
 
Jesus Christ, that was Sam's voice! Dean turned to face the direction where the
voice had came from and for a moment he could do nothing but stare, because
there was Sam, SAM, so familiar, slanted hazel eyes sleepy and a small smile on
his face, and dammit, if this was some kind of hallucination then Dean was
ready and willing to stay insane for the rest of his life!
 
“What's wrong?” Sam asked softly. “You look scared. No need to. It's over.”
 
It took a while before Dean could even find his voice, and the first thing that
came out of his mouth was something he couldn't help: “Are you real?”
 
Sam smiled a little wider, dimples showing and Dean was ready to cry, thinking
that he would never have a chance to see those dimples again. “Very.” Sam
assured, reaching out to wipe away the tear that was sliding down Dean's cheek.
“I'm alive.” Sam continued, remembering how John had told that Dean had been
sure Sam was dead. “I was just unconscious. But I'm good now. I'm here. With
you.”
 
It felt like some levee inside Dean was breaking. He surged forward, clutch
onto Sam like his life depended on it and when he started crying, he just
couldn't stop. Sam held him tight, whispering soothing words, and it was all
just too much to handle at once. Dean realized that he was crying and laughing
at the same time, hands roaming all over Sam's face and body, taking in every
familiar feeling and sensation, and when he finally started kissing Sam he
couldn't stop that either and didn't even care if he seemed like a madman right
then because Sammy was alive, alive and warm and breathing and GOD!
 
“I...” Dean tried to speak through his sobs and laughter. “I... thought I
lost... you. And then... You're here, and I'm... I need to... I need to do...
something... can't keep losing... you, can't...”
 
“Not losing me.” Sam whispered, rubbing soothing circles around Dean's back.
“I'm here. He's dead. Not losing me, Dean, ever.”
 
“Promise me.” Dean said, now with a clearer voice. “ You gotta promise me
because I'd die without you.”
 
Sam smiled gently and kissed Dean softly. “I promise.” He whispered against
Dean's lips. “Come hell or high water, I'm never letting go of you.”
 
After that Dean seemed to calm down. Minutes passed while they just kept
looking at each other, realizing how close the end had been. But they had made
it. After kidnapping and torture, they had made it together, and this last
thing had ended before it had even really started, and there was no need to be
scared anymore. And yet both of them knew that this, what had happened just
last night, was something they had to process, that they couldn't just wipe it
under the carpet and pretend that everything was fine. It had been a close
call. Too close, and they both knew that they would have to talk about it; the
fear, the terror. It was all over now, but they needed a closure before they
could really move on.
 
“Think Dawn would have some time on her schedule for us?” Dean asked and
hiccuped. “Coz I think we should see her. Or someone. Talk, you know?”
 
And that came from Dean Winchester, the master of ultimate self-denial. Sam
pressed his forehead against Dean's and couldn't help the tear that fell down
his own cheek.
 
“I'm sure she does.” Sam whispered. “We'll call her tomorrow. Now... I just
wanna hold you close. So close I don't know where I end and you begin.”
 
Dean smiled through his tears. “Sounds like a fucking good plan.”
***** When Least Expected *****
The next day Dean called to Dawn's office and was surprised when instead of her
secretary Dawn herself answered the phone.
 
“Hi...” Dean started, not really knowing how to start now that he had Dawn on
the other end of the line. Dean cleared his throat. “Ummm... Sam and I were
just thinking... I know that we ended the therapy some time ago but...
something happened few nights ago and... Well, we were just thinking if you,
maybe, would have a time to see us?”
 
“I know what happened.” Dawn said quietly. “Well, not all of it, but the basics
at least. It was on the news.” She was quiet for a while. “I'm really glad you
called, Dean. I mean it. And if you two need to talk, I can arrange some time.
Tomorrow? 10Am?”
 
“We'll be there.” Dean said and ended the call.
 
“So?” Asked Sam who had been standing behind Dean. Dean turned around and
pulled Sam close.
 
“Tomorrow at ten.” He whispered against Sam's shoulder. “It was on the news. I
think she had already cleared her schedule.”
 
Sam swallowed. He knew that talking about it would be the only way to get over
it, but at the same time he was slightly scared. The last time therapy had
helped, a lot, but it had also been really painful to start processing things,
and he honestly didn't know how much more of fear and pain he could take.
 
“I know what you're thinking.” Dean said, now looking Sam in to his eyes. “But
this needs to be done. Hell, I'm scared too. But not as scared as I would be if
you weren't there with me...” Dean tried to smile, wondering how all this had
changed him, how he for the first time in his life didn't feel uncomfortable
confessing his weaknesses or fears. Sam had changed him, slid under his skin
and Dean didn't even know when exactly that had happened, but he was grateful
for it. He had never been able to be completely open, not even with his own
family, always thinking that he was expected to be strong and invincible, like
nothing could touch him, but Sam had showed him that there was nothing wrong in
being weak once in a while. Sam, who loved him with all his weaknesses and
insecurities he had buried in the back of his mind, somewhere so deep they had
never seen the light of day. Until Sam.
 
“You saved me.” Dean said quietly, and when Sam opened his mouth, Dean
continued before Sam had a chance to say otherwise. “You saved me from myself.
I don't know where I would be or what I would do if I hadn't found you.”
 
Sam smiled a little, Dean's words making him feel warm inside and his heart
fill with so much love it was almost too much to handle all at once.
 
“Guess we saved each other then...” Sam whispered and placed a soft kiss on
Dean's forehead. “Because I don't know what I'd do without you.”
 
Dean closed his eyes, once again feeling incredibly lucky to have this, to have
Sam. “Good. That's good. Because...” Dean swallowed and took a deep breath.
“Because I can't keep losing you. I just, can't, you know?” This time Dean's
voice was strained and pained. Sam took Dean's face between his palms and
refused to let go before Dean looked at him.
 
“You haven't lost me.” Sam said firmly. “Ever.”
 
Dean's voice was still agonized. “But I almost did. Twice! And I can't keep...
I can't keep almost losing you. It's killing me.”
 
“Dean...” Sam whispered, his lips only inches away from Dean's. “Almost doesn't
count. And it's over now. For good.”
 
“But what if-”
 
“Listen.” Sam said, eyes full of tenderness. “What happened, happened. There's
no need to be scared of something that might or might not happen. It's just a
waste of time, and I don't want fear to be be a third party in this
relationship. Okay? I just want you.”
 
Dean finally smiled a little. “God, what have you done to me?” He pulled Sam
close to him. “I never, ever thought I could feel this way about anyone. You
have seriously turned me into a girl or something...”
 
The corner of Sam's lip curled into a half grin. “Last time I checked you were
one hundred percent man. Talking about how you feel doesn't make you any less
man. It just makes you human.”
 
Dean couldn't help it, he started laughing. “I almost forgot that you have a
degree on psychology. Just do me a favor. Don't try to shrink my head. I'll
leave that to Dawn.”
 
“Got you laughing though, didn't I?” Sam smiled, now free and open. Dean
nodded, still grinning.
 
“That's one of the reasons why I love you so much.”
 
*
 
Next morning they went to see Dawn. They both talked about their feelings of
what had happened, and Dean even opened up about his fears of losing Sam. The
session went well, but Dawn decided that they should still come again at least
for few times more, and this time both boys agreed.
 
*
 
Back home Sam realized that he hadn't opened his cellphone for months, so he
charged it and found at least ten voice mails from Will, the first few ones
being irritated, telling Sam to put his cell on, but after that the messages
got worried, and Sam couldn't believe he had totally forgot his request if Will
could try to find some information about Ben. So he called Will.
 
“Jesus Christ man!” Will almost shouted. “Have you any idea how worried I've
been???”
 
“I'm sorry...” Sam bit his lip. “Just... There are things that happened and I
wasn't able to call anyone. Look, I'm really sorry, I am.”
 
“Like what?” Will asked, sounding nervous. “What happened?”
 
“It's a long story, but let's just say that I was in a hospital for a long time
and then I guess I just had so much in my mind that I totally forgot about my
phone.”
 
There was a moment of silence before Will spoke again. “A hospital?”
 
“Yeah. But hey, don't worry, everything's okay now.”
 
“Yeah, right...” Will sighed. “Somehow everything always seems to be okay with
you.”
 
“Will...”
 
“Don't worry, I'm not gonna pry, just wanted to let you know that I found some
info you asked me to dig out.”
 
Sam's voice was slightly hesitant when he asked: “Yeah?”
 
Will told him what he had found out, and Sam felt himself grow cold.
 
*
 
When Dean saw Sam coming downstairs from their room, he instantly knew
something was wrong when he saw Sam's face. He got up from his chair and walked
to Sam with worry in his eyes. “What is it?”
 
Sam bit his lip. “I opened my cell. I had totally forgot about it, and I called
Will.”
 
“And?” Dean asked, going through all possible scenarios in his head.
 
“I need to visit a hospital.” Sam said, looking down at his feet. Dean froze.
 
“Is Will...?”
 
“No.” Sam shook his head. “No, it's... it's not him. But I gotta go. Now.”
 
“I'm coming with you.” Dean stated with a voice that left no room for
arguments, and Sam just nodded and walked out of the house, Dean following him
right behind.
 
*
 
The hospital wasn't a quality one. It was small, dim lights lighting the
corridors and the room was dark as Sam and Dean stood by the hospital bed,
looking down at the pale, unmoving form under a thin sheet.
 
“They said he's in a coma.” Sam said quietly, feeling slightly sick as he
looked at Ben. The boy couldn't been more than eighteen years old, but the
shadows under his eyes and the slightly wrinkled forehead made him look like he
had lived at least three lifetimes. Years of abuse was clearly visible, and
when Gordon had said that Ben would live when Sam had asked that on the cruise
had made Sam feel worried, but he certainly hadn't been expecting this. “The
nurses said that there's a chance he will never wake up.”
 
Dean took a deep breath. “How did you get that information?”
 
“I lied.” Sam answered with a blank voice. “Told them I was his cousin. They
don't really check anyone's backgrounds in a place like this.”
 
Dean moved his eyes from Ben to Sam. “We should get him out of here. To some
hospital where he can get the best treatment possible.”
 
Dean understood why Sam took this so personally. He knew that Sam saw himself
in Ben, and that in some level Sam blamed himself for Ben's current state.
 
“We should.” Sam agreed after a long silence. “I can't believe I forgot about
him...”
 
“Hey...” Dean searched for Sam's eyes. “Even if you would have searched Ben out
the day you got out of the hospital, he was already in that state. There's
nothing you could've done. So stop blaming yourself. Now, we just get him out
of here and do our best, and hope that he wakes up. And then we hand him to
Dawn, whether he wants it or not.”
 
“Yeah, let's do that.”
 
*
 
Two days later Ben was moved to a better hospital with better treatment, but
Dean could see how Sam still blamed himself. It made him feel powerless because
if he was honest to himself, there was nothing he could do to take those self-
accusations away from Sam. And after watching Sam like that for two more days
Dean decided it was enough. He grabbed Sam's hand and led him upstairs to their
room, made him sit down and knelt between Sam's legs, looking up at him.
 
“I want you to stop that.”
 
“What?”
 
Dean sighed. “Mentally punishing yourself for something you had no control
over. There was nothing you could have done, you hear me? NOTHING! So stop
blaming yourself because it's not gonna do you any good and it certainly ain't
helping Ben.”
 
Sam's face stayed blank. “I should've done something.”
 
“That's it.” Dean said and got up. “I'm calling Dawn.”
 
Sam got up and stopped Dean before he got out of the room. “You think that's
gonna help?!”
 
Dean was dead serious when he looked at Sam. “I hope so, because the way you've
been since we visited that hospital... Can't you see what you're doing to
yourself? I don't want that. We just survived a fucking nightmare, and during
the last few days the way you've been acting has been exactly the same as when
we got out of the hospital. If you can't talk to me, then maybe you should talk
to Dawn.”
 
“It's just...” Sam licked his dry lips. “What if he never wakes up again?”
 
Dean had to clench his teeth together before he could answer. “Well, then at
least he's not in any pain.” It sounded harsh even to his own ears, but it was
the truth, and after everything Ben had gone through, Dean wasn't even sure
anymore if waking up from a coma would be a good thing. The aftermath of
everything that had happened to him and Sam had been so painful that sometimes
the only thing Dean had wanted to do was to scream his lungs out and tear the
whole house apart. So, pain or oblivion? Dean had went through the pain and the
shame, but he'd had Sam there with him all the time. Ben? In the hospital they
had found out that Ben had been laying there in a coma for three months, and
during all that time Sam and Dean had been the only ones who had even paid a
visit. So Dean really didn't know which was for the best; to wake up and face
the horrors, or sleep forever.
 
“You're right.” Sam said so quietly it was hardly audible. “There was nothing I
could have done, and maybe that is the reason I feel so... I don't know.
Frustrated. Helpless. If only-”
 
“Shhhh...” Dean whispered, went to Sam and gathered him in his arms. “Let me
tell you something. After we got out, and everything that happened after
that... I don't think I could have survived without you. So, as soon as Ben
wakes up, we'll be there to help him. Okay?”
 
Sam frowned. “You don't even know him.”
 
“No, I don't.” Dean simply answered. “But I know you. And I know why you feel
so connected to that boy. And because of that, and because I love you more than
anything, I want to help, in any way I can. That good enough?”
 
Sam laid his head on Dean's shoulder. “I love you.”
 
Dean smiled softly, running his fingers through the soft curls on Sam's neck.
“I know. And what's important to you is also important to me.”
 
“What if he doesn't wake up?”
 
Dean sighed against Sam's skin. “He will.”
 
“And how do you know that?”
 
“Because he's a fighter.” Dean said. “You see yourself in him. You're a
fighter, Sam, and so is he. Just give it time and one of these days Ben will
open his eyes. You told me everything about what happened to you when you were
just a kid. And look at you now. You survived. More than that, you grew up
amazing. It's not too late for Ben either.”
 
Sam closed his eyes. “Maybe it's you who should have degree in psychology...”
 
“Does that mean you feel better.”
 
Sam was quiet for a moment. “Yeah. I do. Thanks.”
 
“It's late.” Dean said. “Why won't we just go to bed and sleep. We can go visit
Ben tomorrow if you want.”
 
Sam lifted his head from Dean's shoulder and looked him in the eyes. “Can I
kiss you until I fall asleep.”
 
Dean smiled a little. “Like you needed to ask me that.”
***** Darkness Brought To Daylight *****
The original one-week plan before returning to Dean's -and now Sam's too-
apartment got delayed by another week. The boys visited Dawn two more times,
and even when Sam didn't want to bring it up, Dean did, explaining how Sam felt
guilt over what had happened to Ben. And when Sam finally agreed to talk about
it, it seemed like Dawn got through to him, explaining that Sam couldn't take
responsibility over someone else's cruelty.
 
They also visited Ben at least every other day, but so far there was no change
in his condition, and the prognosis wasn't very good. When Ben had been first
found from a ditch outside the city, he had been suffering from dehydration,
broken bones, worst of them being a head injury that had caused the coma.
 
After the last meeting with Dawn, Sam and Dean decided it was time to return to
the real world and moved back into their apartment. There were tears in Mary's
eyes as she hugged her boys and made them promise to visit often. Angela hugged
them too and made them promise not to get themselves in any trouble. John
repeated his order that Dean should stay out of office for at least few weeks,
and Dean actually had nothing against that. There were so many things going on,
and if he was totally honest to himself, he didn't miss work one bit. He only
wanted to be with Sam, settle down with him, spend every waking moment and
every night with him.
 
Sam had nothing against that either.
 
The hospital where Ben was now was only a short drive away, so they were still
able to visit him. And even if Ben probably didn't have a clue of it, in some
level Sam hoped that he did; that there was someone who cared for him. Dean was
starting to feel the same way.
 
The day when Sam and Dean drove back to their apartment was a sunny one, not a
cloud on the baby blue sky, and in a way it felt like a new beginning. They
unpacked their stuff without any hurry, taking their time and talking about
everything and nothing.
 
At the end of the day both of them were so exhausted that they didn't even make
dinner, didn't even order in, just went to bed and were asleep in less than a
minute.
 
The next morning Sam woke up to the ringing of his cellphone. He reached at the
nightstand without even looking and almost dropped the cell to the floor.
“Mmmh?” He answered sleepily, wondering who on earth would be calling this
early, even when he didn't even know what time it was.
 
“Sam?”
 
Will.
 
“I'm here...” Sam muttered, wondering what was so important it couldn't wait
for few hours more.
 
“I need to speak with you.” Will said and Sam frowned. Will sounded odd.
 
“Something happened?” Sam asked, forcing a yawn back down his throat.
 
“Well, kind of...” Will said, still sounding odd. “I need to see you.”
 
Sam rubbed his eyes with his hand that wasn't holding the phone. “Can you give
me few hours? I just woke up...”
 
“Two hours. Same place. See you.” Then Will hung up and Sam stared at his cell
for a while, still not getting what could possibly be so important that it had
made Will sound so agitated. He turned to look at his side and smiled a little,
seeing how Dean was still soundly asleep, a cute little wrinkle between his
brows like he was thinking really hard in his sleep. Sam placed a kiss against
Dean's temple and got out of bed, careful not to wake Dean up.
 
He was just leaving the apartment when Dean appeared from the bedroom, eyes
still sleepy and his hair sticking into every direction. In Sam's opinion he
looked simply adorable.
 
Dean stretched, enjoying the feeling of his spine popping into place and then
realized that Sam had his shoes on and was also wearing his leather jacket.
“Going somewhere?”
 
“Just out.” Sam smiled. “Won't be long. I can pick up some groceries too, the
fridge is empty.”
 
“Oh... okay.” Dean scratched his neck. “Just come back soon. I miss you
already...”
 
Sam closed the distance between them and kissed Dean, savoring the taste of his
boyfriend.
 
His life partner.
 
The idea made Sam feel all happy and giddy inside, so he kept kissing Dean a
moment longer before he had to stop, simply because he was already late and if
he kept kissing Dean even a second longer, they would end up on the couch or on
the table or on the floor, and then Sam would really be late.
 
“See you later, sugar!” Sam smiled as he exited the apartment. Behind the
closed door Dean smirked, amused.
 
“Sugar...” He shook his head in amusement.
 
*
 
Maybe it had been the fact that Sam had been still half asleep when Will had
called, or maybe there had been just too much other stuff going on inside his
head, but now, as he was getting closer and closer to the café where him and
Will had met the last couple of times, he couldn't help the memories flooding
over his mind like a tide-wave.
 
The black van and the men in it.
 
Useless struggle before the darkness took over.
 
Waking up to a nightmare...
 
Sam shook his head to clear his mind but was still slightly nervous, and even
when he tried not to, he couldn't stop himself from checking his surroundings.
There were no black vans, no men sitting or standing anywhere like they were
waiting for him, and Sam sighed. He hated the feeling of paranoia. Gordon was
dead, so why the hell was Sam this agitated?
 
Finally he entered the café and saw Will sitting in the corner table.
 
“You're late.” Will said when Sam sat down.
 
“I know. I'm sorry.” The waitress came to take Sam's order and returned almost
right away with a steaming double-latte. “You sounded pretty weird on the
phone. Something happened?”
 
“Why were you at the hospital?”
 
Sam felt the coffee get stuck in his throat. This was definitely one subject he
wasn't going to discuss with Will. So he lied. “I was mugged. Broke few ribs,
stuff like that.”
 
“Whatever you say...” Will sounded irritated. “If you wanna keep your secrets,
then by all means, keep them.”
 
Sam was starting to feel irritated too. “Is this why you asked me to come
here?”
 
“No, not really. I was just curious. Actually I wanted to ask if you went to
see Ben.”
 
“I did.”
 
“And?”
 
“You already know.” Sam pushed his latte away. “You told me. What is this
really about?”
 
Will looked insecure for a while. Then he raised his gaze at Sam. “I was just
thinking... I'd like to go see him too.”
 
Sam was genuinely surprised. That was really not what he had been expecting.
“Then why don't you? You don't need my permission for that.”
 
“I know.” Will said quietly. “And I also know what happened to you. That's why
I asked you to come here. To see if you can do it.”
 
Sam had absolutely no idea of what to say. Will knew? How? That's what he also
asked him next.
 
“Dean Winchester, head of the Winchester Corp? Do you think something like that
would stay a secret? And I know you were there too. I just needed to see that
you're really okay.”
 
“I'm fine.” Sam stated and couldn't hide the anger in his voice. “Now, if you
excuse me, I'd like to leave.”
 
“You don't need my permission to do that.” Will replied. Sam stood up and
walked out, took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. So, if Will
knew, then who else did? Suddenly Sam felt like he was naked on the street and
everyone was staring at him. And yes, he realized that it was just his
imagination, but it didn't really help.
 
He walked to the nearest grocery shop, bought the essentials and hurried home.
Dean saw right away that Sam was upset and couldn't help but wonder what had
happened while Sam had been outside. He watched as Sam put the groceries to the
fridge and then went to him, laid a hand on Sam's shoulder and asked what was
wrong.
 
Sam's answer was to get up and start unbuttoning Dean's shirt, and Dean was
stunned. Sam started working to open up Dean's pants with feverish
determination, and Dean was too stunned to do anything.
 
“Fuck me.” Sam groaned, starting to get undressed himself. “Now.”
 
“Are you okay...?” Dean frowned a bit because Sam seemed seriously upset.
 
“I will be as soon as I have you inside me.” Sam panted, craving for the sweet
oblivion only Dean was able to give him.
 
Dean finished undressing and they stood there, both naked, only few feet
separating them. Sam closed the distance between them, and even when Dean knew
that there was something bigger behind this than just a crave for sex, if this
was what Sam needed now, Dean didn't find it in him to refuse Sam. But after he
would find out just what had shook Sam so badly.
 
Although all his thoughts vanished when Sam got down on his knees and took Dean
in his mouth, sucking like his life depended it and Dean groaned, threw his
head back and tried to keep his feet steady.
 
“Come on...” Dean growled and yanked Sam up. If this was how Sam wanted it, so
be it. He dragged Sam to the kitchen counter, pushed him down on it on his
stomach and started rimming him. He continued until Sam was begging and
pleading for more. Then Dean grabbed Sam's wrist and held them behind Sam's
back while with his other hand he guided himself inside Sam who screamed. Dean
started a steady rhythm, going faster and deeper until he felt Sam tensing
under him and finally allowed himself to come too. For a few moments after the
only thing they could do was to try to calm down their ragged breaths and
hammering hearts, but when they finally slid down to the kitchen floor, Dean
looked Sam in the eyes, his face now serious.
 
“Wanna tell me what that was really about?” Dean asked, and Sam told him
everything, and they stayed on the floor, Dean cradling Sam's head against his
chest, feeling the tears of shame falling down his chest and abdomen. He gave
Sam time, blocked his own thoughts away, and just concentrated on Sam.
 
“Look...” Dean finally said quietly. “I don't care if the whole world knows.
The only thing I really care is right here in my arms.” He ran his fingers
through Sam's soft brown hair. “I love you, and nothing will ever change that.
Okay?”
 
“Okay...” Sam whispered and closed his eyes, and they stayed on the floor
holding each other.
***** Bitter Betrayal *****
It took a while to make Sam calm down, but when he finally did, Dean pulled him
up from the floor, led him to the bedroom and stayed there until Sam fell
asleep. Dean spent few minutes just looking at Sam, all the things Sam had told
him running around his head. Finally he sighed, bent down and kissed Sam's
temple and left the bedroom. He went to the living room, booted up his laptop
and started doing some research.
 
After three hours Dean was furious. There was nothing about the kidnap on any
news sites.
Then why had Will made Sam believe that it had been all over the news?
 
And more importantly... How did Will know about the incident at the first
place?
 
*
 
When Sam woke up he was feeling slightly better. He kept staring at the
ceiling, not really thinking about anything.
 
“Awake?” Asked Dean's voice from the door. Sam turned to look at him and
nodded. Dean sighed and walked in, laid down to the bed next to Sam, wondering
how to bring this up.
 
Finally he decided it was usually the best thing to go straight to the point.
“The thing that happened back there...on the boat...” Dean bit his lower lip.
“There's nothing about it in the net. Nothing. I guess Dad pulled some strings
to make sure it wouldn't make it to the news.”
 
Sam was confused. “But Will knew...”
 
“And that really makes me wonder just how did he? There's absolutely no
information whatsoever about what happened to us.” Dean sighed again before
looking at Sam, looking worried. “Sam...” Dean said with a quiet voice. “Just
how well do you know Will?”
 
*
 
Sam told Dean everything. About how he had met Will during his short period of
working as an escort for a company where Will was still an employee. He told
how him and Will had developed a friendship that had lasted years already. And
now... after what Dean had told him... Sam started to have a feeling like he
didn't know Will at all. Why had Will lied to him? Had he been lying? And if
not... just...
 
Nothing made sense.
 
Will had been nothing but supportive, but when Sam thought about it now, Will
had changed during the last four, five months.
 
The moment when Sam had took the job Dean offered, to be specific.
 
And this latest thing? Making Sam believe that everybody knew...
 
Sam really wanted to meet Will, if for nothing else then at least to drag some
answers out of him. Why was Will doing this? And how did he know when no one
else did...
 
All the possible answers Sam came up with only made him feel paranoid. He even
started wondering if Will had had something to do with the whole kidnapping
thing. Sam hated himself for questioning his friend's loyalty, but he couldn't
shake the feeling that Will knew more than he was sharing. And on top of that,
the hostility from Will's side hadn't gone unnoticed.
 
Then again, Will had looked honestly crushed when he had asked Sam if he could
go see Ben to the hospital. Will had asked where Ben had been transferred and
Sam had told him the name of the hospital.
 
And suddenly Sam found himself thinking things that he didn't really want to.
 
He had told Will where Ben was.
 
And he knew now that it had been a terrible mistake.
 
“Dean!” Sam's eyes were wide and there was a hint of panic in them. “We gotta
go to see Ben. Now.”
 
Sam felt cold, and prayed that he was wrong about all this, but somewhere deep
inside he knew that he wasn't, and he just prayed it wouldn't be too late
already.
 
*
 
“Yes, Ben.” The nurse in the hospital nodded, looking strangely happy. “We
really didn't expect it to happen, but he woke up.”
 
“Where is he now?” Sam demanded.
 
The nurse smiled. “Ben's brother came to take him home about an hour ago.”
 
“His brother?”
 
“Yes.” The nurse smiled. “Will, Ben's big brother.”
 
“Where are they now?” Dean asked with a low voice, trying to keep himself calm.
This was all going to hell in a handbasket.
 
The nurse looked surprised. “He told me that he'd call you two. So. He...?”
 
“No, he didn't.” Sam answered, feeling rather desperate. There was something
dark going on. Why had Will took Ben with him? Will certainly wasn't Ben's
brother, and there was no reason for him to even care about Ben.
 
What the hell was this about?
 
On their way out of the hospital, Sam looked at Dean, an this time there was
fear in Sam's eyes. “We have to find them. I really didn't understand why Will
wanted to know about where Ben was at the first place, but I have a feeling
that when I gave him that information I made a huge mistake...”
 
“You didn't know...” Dean sighed but Sam noticed how worried Dean was too. “How
could you have known? This is not your fault, you hear me? Not your fault. So
stop blaming yourself.”
 
“Easier said than-”
 
“-done, I know. But right now we need to focus. I need you to focus. We'll find
him.” When Sam still didn't look convinced, Dean stopped him and forced Sam to
look him in the eyes. “We'll find him. Okay? We will.”
 
Sam's cellphone rang, and reluctantly he dug the cell out of his pocket and
answered. “Yeah?”
 
There was a brief silence at the other end of the line. Sam rolled his eyes.
“Who's this?”
 
“If you want to see Ben alive...” The voice said. “I suggest you do exactly as
I say, Sam.”
 
“Will.”
 
“Yeah, it's me. And like I said, you better listen because I'm done playing
games. And don't you dare to interrupt me! You have 24 hours before I'll start
skinning the precious boytoy alive so better pay attention. Everything you need
to know has been sent to your email. Looks like you're gonna take a small
vacation.” Will's voice sounded like he was smiling, and Sam could see that
smile inside his head, but it wasn't a happy smile. “I don't think I have to
remind you that if you call the cops, Ben dies. You try some stupid stunt, Ben
dies. You do anything out of the instructions I've sent you, you can kiss Ben's
ass goodbye. Are we clear?”
 
Sam felt sick in his stomach but Ben's life was on the line, so he agreed with
a quiet “I understand.”
 
“Just one thing.” Sam said, closing his eyes. “How do I know that he's even
alive anymore?”
 
Will chuckled. “Well, I guess you just gotta trust me in this. But I can tell
you one thing. It's not Ben who's important. I couldn't care less about that
kid. It's you, Sam. I bet you're in the hospital now. I highly suggest that you
run home, check your email and get your ass to the coordinates I've left you.
Don't even think about of doing something stupid. I'm willing to trade Ben to
you. So hurry Sam. 24 hours, and the time is not by your side.”
 
Click. The call ended.
 
“Sam?” Dean looked wary. “What was that?”
 
“We need to go home. Now.” Sam simply said and walked out of the hospital, Dean
following him right behind.
***** The Sacrifice *****
The Everglades are subtropical wetlands in the southern portion of the U.S.
state of Florida, comprising the southern half of a large watershed. The system
begins near Orlando with the Kissimmee River, which discharges into the vast
but shallow Lake Okeechobee. Water leaving the lake in the wet season forms a
slow-moving river 60 miles wide and over 100 miles long, flowing southward
across a limestone shelf to Florida Bay at the southern end of the state.
 
The Everglades are shaped by water and fire, experiencing frequent flooding in
the wet season and drought in the dry season. It is also called a 'River of
Grass' to describe the sawgrass marshes, part of a complex system of
interdependent ecosystems that include cypress swamps, the estuarine mangrove
forests of the Ten Thousand Islands, tropical hardwood hammocks, pine rockland,
and the marine environment of Florida Bay.
 
Floods, hurricanes, swamps. Despite of canals, levees, and water control
devices, most of The Everglades is simply marshlands.
 
The Everglade marshes were also a perfect place to get rid of a body. Miles and
miles of wasteland. All it took was a shallow grave, and if the swamp didn't do
the trick, alligators and other animals would.
 
And that was where Will wanted to meet Sam.
 
The instructions had been clear. Will wanted to make the trade in the middle of
marshes, and when Dean looked in to it, he found that the area didn't have
network coverage. So no cellphones, no tracking devices, nothing.
 
Will had planned it all out, not to even mention that if a person wasn't
familiar with the marshlands, getting lost there was easier than easy.
 
Sam had never been to Florida before. His flight had landed an hour ago and he
was now sitting on the backseat of a cab on his way to see Will. He refused to
think about of what may have happened to Ben. If there was a snowball's chance
that Ben was still alive, Sam was ready to do this.
 
Leaving in the middle of the night had made Sam feel bad, but this was
something Sam had to do alone, and Will had made clear that if Sam didn't come
alone, the deal was off, and that included Dean too. When Sam had closed the
bedroom door, Dean sleeping safe and sound
(“...just promise me you won't leave there without me, Sam...”)
Sam sighed.
(“I promise. I'll wake you up 3am and then we leave.”)
 
Somehow Sam had a feeling that Dean hadn't believed a single word he had said,
but he really couldn't blame Dean for that. Sam had lied. He had left the
apartment around 2am and took a night flight to Florida.
 
And there he was.
 
Even when it was night, the air was hot and moist, making Sam's clothes cling
to his skin, the atmosphere oppressive and desperate. Or maybe Sam just felt
desperate. How the hell was he supposed to get to the middle of the marshes?
 
“You look lost.” Came a voice behind Sam and he turned around, only to come
face to face with Will. It took all Sam's willpower to not take a swing at Will
right then and there, but there were more important things on the line, but Sam
promised himself that if he ever made out of Florida alive, then Will would get
a beating of his lifetime.
 
The thing that hurt the most was that Sam was looking at familiar face he had
considered as his friend for more than five years, and now things had came
crashing down. Will was not who Sam had thought he was. Had been, but not
anymore. What had changed?
 
“Why are you doing this?” Sam asked quietly. Will smiled. It was almost a
gentle smile.
 
“Not here.” Will said and turned around, heading out. “I'll tell you everything
when we're there.”
 
“Marshes?”
 
“Just shut up for now.” Will looked back at Sam and his eyes were cold. “Ben
doesn't have much time.”
 
*
 
Will had thought about everything. He led Sam into a pick-up truck. A perfect
car if the driveway wasn't practically nothing more than old gravel roads and
mud. Sam stayed quiet during the drive, and about an hour later Will stopped
the car and told Sam to get out.
 
They were by a river, the smell of stale water strong and mosquitoes
everywhere. There was a boat, not a big one, more like a canoe.
 
“Get to the boat.” Will ordered. “You'll see Ben in one hour.”
 
Sam glimpsed at Will. “Alive?”
 
“For now.” Will smiled, again that cold smile. “And don't look at me like that.
If it wasn't for you, none of this wouldn't have happened.”
 
“So it's my my fault that you're criminally insane?” Sam couldn't resist.
 
Will spent a whole minute staring at Sam, and his expression was like stone.
Finally he spoke. “Know what, Sam? This is all your fault. I am so sick and
tired of watching you getting off everything so easy-”
 
“Easy?!” Sam couldn't believe his ears. “Have you any idea of what you're even
talking about??”
 
“Shut up!!!” Will shouted before he seemed to gain control of himself again.
When he spoke again, his tone was almost friendly. “Yes, easy. You ruined
everything. I had a plan, a real good one. And then you just HAD to fuck it
up.”
 
Sam shook his head, having no idea what Will was talking about. But one thing
was clear. Will was insane. One second he was acting almost normal, and the
next moment the insanity took over. There was no way to try and talk some sense
to Will, so reluctantly Sam got up and went to the canoe. He was almost sure
that Ben was already rotting in some shallow grave but since he couldn't be
sure, what else was he supposed to do?
 
*
 
The first rays of sun penetrated the lush green roof the trees provided when
they approached he place Will was taking them to. Sam had stayed quiet during
the hour the trip had took, staring at the black water of the river, noticing
snakes and toads and all kinds of reptiles. The temperature was rising again as
it was morning, and the air was so moist it was almost like trying to breath
water instead of air.
 
Sam thought about Dean. Dean had to be awake by now, and Sam only hoped that at
some point, somewhere in the future, Dean would be able to forgive him.
 
The truth was, that Sam already knew that he wasn't going back. He would never
see Dean again.
 
It was breaking his heart.
 
“We're here.” Will informed and jumped off the canoe, pulling it to the grassy
shore. Sam didn't say anything, just got off the canoe and followed Will.
 
“Where is he?”
 
Will let out an amused huff. “You really got attached to that boy...” He shook
his head. “See, Sam... That's exactly your problem. You're ready to roll over
and die for people you hardly even know. What do you think, if the roles were
reversed... do you really think Ben would risk his life for you?”
 
“Where. Is. He.”
 
“Alright, alright!” Will raised his hands. “About a mile on foot. Come on.”
Will started walking to the subtropical forest. Sam followed.
 
“Tell me one thing...” Sam muttered. “All this trouble. For what? I know that
you're in love with Dean, so what is this? Trading Ben to me and then trading
me to Dean? That it?”
 
Will turned around and stopped, giving a cold look at Sam. “Love has nothing to
do with this. This is strictly business.”
 
Sam couldn't help but smile. It was a bittersweet smile. Finally things started
to make sense. “You know Will...” Sam sighed. “The thing I forgot because let's
be honest – I didn't wanna believe in it – is that the one thing you love more
everything... is money. Thinking about blackmailing Dean? Too bad for you,
since Dean doesn't even know where I am right now.”
 
Once again Will's expression turned strange. He gave Sam a half smile. “If I
wanted Dean's money, you wouldn't be here and neither would Ben. I just want
what's mine, and this time there's no one to stop me. Like you said, Dean has
no idea of where you are. Don't worry, Dean will live, go on just like before.”
Will laughed. “Except that if he really loves you as much as I've understood,
he'll spend the rest of his life tortured by the fact that he has no idea what
happened to you. Mmmmh, must be true love I guess.”
 
“I thought you wanted Dean.” Sam said. He had no idea why he was so calm. “So
if not... What do you want?”
 
“My money!!” Will was losing his temper. “The money I was promised! Then you
and your precious boyfriend ruined it all. But it's not too late yet. I can
still get what's mine.”
 
Sam was stunned. No. This couldn't be what his mind was providing him...
 
“You were in it.” Sam stated. “With Walker.”
 
“Yes!” Will sounded almost victorious. “Finally little Sammy figured it out!
Too bad that your boyfriend's daddy shot Gordon before I got my share. And yes,
it was me. I told them where to find you, gave them every possible information,
even asked you to meet me in that café while those guys were just waiting
outside. And now I want my reward.”
 
Sam rolled his eyes. “Gordon's dead. You know it, I know it. I honestly can't
figure out how a dead man could pay you.”
 
Will smirked. “You really think Walker didn't make arranges in case something
like that would happen? Sure, the guy is dead, but the people who worked for
him are not. And considering how much Gordie really hated you... Well, let's
just say that dead or not, he really wanted you dead.” Will took a mock
expression of sadness. “It was practically his dying wish.”
 
Sam closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “So all this for...
money.”
 
“Hell yeah!” Will laughed. “Enough money to disappear for good. No more shady
customers, no more you and the golden boy of Winchesters. And as soon as I've
killed you, all I need is a photograph, preferably one with your head off your
shoulders because that's kinda hard to fake, and then I just go to one person,
show the pic and get my money. Millions, Sam. Millions! Finally something's
going right!”
 
“What about Ben?”
 
Will rolled his eyes looking annoyed. “If you really need to know... As soon as
I'm done with you, Ben can walk. And I mean walk. Do you have any idea of where
we are?” Will smiled. “In the middle of nowhere. And considering the fact that
the boy is in not too good shape, I don't see him as a threat. He'll never make
it out of these swamps alone. Mission accomplished.”
 
“You fucking piece of sh-”
 
Sam's fury was cut mid-sentence when something hard and heavy connected with
the back of his head. At first the pain was hot white and blinding, and then...
 
...nothing.
***** For The Kill *****
The first thing Sam realized when he regained consciousness was the throbbing
pain at the back of his head. He kept his eyes closed, feeling slightly
nauseous and more than a little disoriented. The next thing he came aware of
was the smell, or rather a gut wrenching stench of old garbage and urine, and
for a while he had to fight against the gag reflex that made him want to vomit
right then and there. His last memories were a little hazy, but slowly he
started remembering, the last memory being a white hot flash of pain. Will had
knocked him unconscios. What had happened after that, he had no idea.
 
“Will...?” Sam asked quietly, mouth dry and his throat feeling a bit raw from
thirst, but still not brave enough to open his eyes, afraid that even a
slightest amount of light would trigger his gag reflex again, and he really
didn't want to throw up all over himself. His head hurt so much it felt like
his skull was going to explode.
 
“He's not here.” Came a weak whisper from somewhere close. So weak it was
barely audible, but clearly filled with pain.
 
Sam opened his eyes, just a little, and saw Ben on the floor, tied up and
looking like death warmed over. But at least he was alive. Barely, but still,
and as long as there were life...
 
That was also when Sam realized that he couldn't move his arms. They were tied
tightly behind his back and he was half slumped against the opposite wall
across from Ben who stayed completely still on the rotting floor. Sam's legs
were free but it didn't help one bit, he felt so dizzy he couldn't even imagine
trying to stand up. Much less walk...
 
Sam risked opening his eyes a little more to take in his surroundings. They
were in some sort of small cabin or a shed, rays of sunlight peeking through
the cracks on the wooden walls. There was a window but it had been nailed
closed, and when he turned his head a little he saw a door and was totally sure
it was locked. Like he could have walked through it anyway, not to even mention
Ben who would probably faint the moment he would try to sit up.
 
“Do you know where he is?” Sam asked weakly, looking back at Ben. Ben shook his
head and grimaced at the movement, like every motion hurt. Which was probably
true. Sam closed his eyes again and tried to make his mind work. He had to
figure out something, anything, but no matter how hard he tried, all he came up
was nothing. Despair was starting to take over. It was obviously daytime, not
that Sam would have known unless the sunlight filtering to the half rotten
shed, and by now... Dean had to be terrified. The thought filled him with guilt
and sorrow, but when he had left it had seemed like the only option. To leave
Dean behind. And now? Not only was Sam getting himself killed, but Ben too. He
had achieved nothing. Will was going to kill them both, and Dean... God, Dean
would spend the rest of his life not knowing what had happened, just like Will
had promised.
 
Suddenly the door opened and Will walked in, taking a good look at Sam but only
glimpsing at Ben before looking back at Sam again.
 
“I see you're awake.” Will said with a toneless voice. “Time to go, Sam.”
 
Sam was being dragged to his feet, his knees feeling like giving up any second
but Will was strong and dragged him outside. The light made Sam groan, the pain
inside his skull exploding to whole new level.
 
“You promised to let Ben go...” Sam panted, even the slightest movement making
him feel exhausted and weak at knees.
 
Will smiles cruelly. “And I will. As soon as you're dead. Let's go then...”
 
Sam tried to talk some more but it took all his strength to just keep up with
Will. Sam had no idea where they were when Will shoved him down to the ground,
and Sam collapsed like a bag of stones. He took a deep breath and looked up,
only to realize that Will was holding a large knife, a machete of some kind, on
his other hand.
 
“Told you...” Will said casually when he noticed what Sam was looking at. “I
need that photograph and it's pretty hard to pretend of being beheaded.”
 
“Don't do this...” Sam swallowed and continued: “If you do this, there's no
going back. You can still end this, right here, right now... it's not too late
yet...”
 
Will huffed. “You can beg and plead all you want but let me tell you Sam,
anything you might say has absolutely no meaning to me. Let me tell you
something else. I'm sick and tired of this life. Fucking for money, being
somebody's bitch. You got away, and like that wasn't enough you did it with the
one person I have ever loved. Its all. Your. Fault. You did this to me, Sam.
You. So just shut the fuck up because I don't give a shit about anything that
comes out of your mouth unless it's blood.”
 
Sam swallowed again. That had been quite a tirade. If he could only keep Will
talking, then maybe...
 
“So all these years?” Sam asked, bitterness now coloring his voice. “These five
years... just an act? You were never my friend, were you?”
 
Will laughed like Sam had just said something hilarious. Then he grew serious.
“No. At first I liked you. I really did. Even had a crush on you once, but hey,
why dwell on the past.”
 
“So... what happened? What changed?”
 
“You think I don't know what you're doing, Sam? Buying time.” Will shook his
head. “It doesn't change anything. You have been lucky so far, but this time no
one's coming for you. And I already told you why. You stole everything I was
supposed to have. Dean. A new life. And since I can't get that new life with
Dean, I'm getting it with the money I get by killing you.”
 
“You really think so?” Sam smiled a little and pulled the last card from his
sleeve. “Fine, go ahead. Kill me, take the photo and go get your reward. I bet
there's only a bullet waiting, and it has your name in it.”
 
For a split second Will looked insecure. Then he seemed to get back in balance
and grinned. “Nah. Those people are reliable. You're just trying to fuck with
my head”
 
“Reliable?” Sam almost laughed. “Reliable like you are?”
 
“Fuck you, Sam. I was never loyal to you but you gotta admit, I got you played
pretty well.” Will looked smug. “You are so fucking easy.” He sighed like he
was bored. “Enough talking. Let's get on with the progress. On your knees.”
 
“Make me.” Sam growled, the sudden burst of anger surprising even himself. But
it was good. Anger was good. It helped him to focus, and it also made him feel
stronger. Will would not get away with this, even if Sam would kill him
himself.
*
By 3pm Dean had made at least hundred phone calls. He had been up for twelve
hours now, waking up at 3am only to find Sam gone. And since then he had been
on the phone, at first calling Miami-Dade PD but they had just told him that
with so little information there was practically nothing they could do, and
because Sam had only been missing for an hour or so, he had maybe just went out
for a walk or something. They told Dean to call again in few days if Sam
wouldn't show up.
 
Dean had almost screamed at them, telling that a fucking psycho had kidnapped
his life partner, but that hadn't helped squat. Sam had walked out of the door
voluntarily, so it wasn't a kidnap case. There was no proof that anything had
happened to Sam, so the police couldn't help until Sam had been missing for 48
hours.
 
Dean had hung up. Sam didn't have 48 hours. What if he was already... No. No,
Dean couldn't think that. He felt equal despair and rage. Despair for feeling
totally useless and rage for the police who didn't even try to understand. And
yes, he knew that Sam had walked out of that door himself, but freaking
blackmailing someone to leave against their will? That WAS a fucking kidnap!
 
At some level he felt rage towards Sam too. Why the fuck had he left alone??
Yes, Dean knew why Sam had done too but it didn't make him feel any better.
 
God, he just wanted Sammy back... Safe and sound... He just wanted Sam back...
 
Next Dean had called the FBI. They had taken him a little more seriously, but
because there was absolutely no clue where Sam currently was, then... Not much
help from there either.
 
Dean had called pretty much everywhere, but the situation seemed helpless.
 
Unless...
 
Dean wanted to smack himself for being so fucking stupid.
 
He grabbed his cellphone and called his dad.
 
"John."
 
"Dad!" Dean tried not to yell but he couldn't help it. "I need your help. I
really, really need your help!"
***** If Miracles Exist... *****

Author's notes: I'm so sorry for the long period of time I haven't updated but
I've been really sick for three weeks and only now starting to feel even
slightly better. My apologies, hope you guys still enjoy the chapter. ---------
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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===============================================================================
By the time John arrived with Caleb, Dean was ready start climbing on the
walls. He couldn't stay in one place so he just kept walking around in circles,
and when his Dad finally arrived Dean sighed out of relief, still praying it
wasn't too late already.
 
John wasted no time, just asked where Sam's laptop was and then handed it to
Caleb.
 
“Caleb can hack into Sam's email account in few minutes, then we get the
coordinates and everything else is already arranged.”
 
Once again Dean was more than glad that his father was an ex marine who could
call few favors now and then. A helicopter was already waiting nearby, all they
needed now were the exact coordinates. Dean didn't believe for a second that
Sam and Will would be there anymore but they couldn't be too far, and right
then he had to hang on to every little piece of hope he had left.
 
“Got it!” Caleb said, wrote the coordinates down to his cell phone and got up.
“Let's go.”
 
Dean followed his father and Caleb outside, sat on the backseat of the car and
they drove to the place where a chopper was already waiting. All the time all
Dean could think was Sam. He had never believed in God but now he actually
prayed. Prayed that they would get there in time, that they would find Sam and
that Sam would be okay.
 
'Just a little longer...' Dean thought in his head, hoping that somehow Sam
would sense his thoughts, even when Dean had never believed in such things
either. 'I'm coming, baby. Don't give up. Fight! You have to fight! I love you.
I love you so much you have no idea and I'm coming for you. Just hold on, I'll
be there and I'll take you home and then make sure that no one will ever hurt
you again. I love you, Sam. So, so much.'
 
***
 
“Get on your knees.” Will repeated his command but Sam didn't move a muscle,
just kept staring at Will who was quickly losing his temper. “Get on your knees
goddammit!!”
 
“Make me.” Sam repeated, voice calm and not a sign of fear in it. If he was
going to die, then at least he wasn't going to give the bastard the joy of
seeing him afraid. Which, strangely, he wasn't. In fact Sam felt almost
peaceful, like some invisible force was protecting him and nothing Will
threatened to do held no meaning because it wasn't going to happen. Or maybe
Sam was just numb. Accepting death could work that way. No fear when there was
no hope, but still Sam felt like there was hope, no matter how insane the
feeling was. They were in the middle of nowhere, nothing but marshlands around,
and even hikers didn't come to places like this. They were alone.
 
Finally Will got enough. “Fine. I'll drag you to your knees and...” He shook
his head, looking almost amused. “You know what? I don't need to. You can just
lay there. I was going to do this as fast and painless as possible, but you?
Being suck a prick, I think I'll cut your head off nice and slow. How 'bout
that?”
 
Sam didn't answer. A small movement had caught his eyes and now he could only
stare at what was right beside Will's foot. It was unmoving, blended pretty
well to it's surroundings, but it was clearly a snake. A thick, olive ground
color, overlaid with dark brown blotches, and even when Sam didn't know almost
anything about snakes, that one looked venomous. It was staying still for now,
but Sam was quite sure that if Will moved--
 
”Will, listen to me.” Sam said with low voice. “Stay very, very still. There's
a--”
 
“Fuck you...” Will huffed. “You've played your cards and now your sleeve is
empty, and now, now I'm gonna--” Will had only lifted his foot about two inches
when the snake stroke. Sam could only stare. Will was screaming, kicking his
leg in the air but the snake held on and through his shock Sam realized that if
the snake let go it could land right on top of him so he crawled as far as he
could. Will was still screaming but he was also coughing now, screams turning
to wheezes as he stumbled backwards, not realizing he was backing towards a
riverbank before it was too late. Will fell in to the water, snake's teeth
still deep above his ankle, and what happened next was like from some bad
horror film.
 
There was a huge splash when Will fell backwards to the water, followed by even
bigger splash and Sam wanted to look away but his eyes were like glued to what
was happening. He saw glimpses of a large reptile, -alligator, his mind
whispered through the horror- heard Will's screams when ever his head came
above the surface, saw the water turning red, and then, just as fast it had
started it ended and Sam was alone, only the red shade of water being a proof
that what he had just saw had been real.
 
Sam sat there like he was paralyzed. His mind was totally blank and his eyes
stared at the water, knowing that Will wouldn't climb up the riverbank, but
still unable to move, unable to process his feelings.
 
After some time, Sam had no idea how long, he got up and started walking. His
feet were still weak and his body hurt, but after the numbness subsided he knew
that his body was working on adrenaline. He didn't think, just tried to
remember the direction from where Will had dragged him to the river. He had to
get Ben. That was priority number one.
 
Then what? He had no idea.
 
***
 
Dean was fidgeting on his seat on the flight to Florida. The sound of the
choppers motors was loud but did nothing to drown his thoughts and fears. He
couldn't relax, couldn't do anything but think of Sam and pray that he would
see his lover one more time.
 
John was awake and stared out of the window beside him. Caleb was dozing off on
the other seat, and Dean had no idea how someone could sleep in a situation
like that. For a moment it made him angry -Sam's life was on the line!- but
then realized that sleeping or not, there was nothing Caleb could do while they
were in the air and his thoughts returned to Sam. Sam's chocolate brown hair,
his sparkling hazel eyes, slightly slanted. Sam's dimples when he smiled that
smile that was able to light the whole room up. Sam's hands, his body, the
texture of his skin. Soft lips that Dean would have paid anything to kiss
again...
 
Dean sighed. He was torturing himself, and for a while he was jealous of
Caleb's ability to rest practically anywhere, but no matter how hard Dean tried
to relax, he just couldn't.
 
In Dean's opinion, the flight took forever. When they finally landed, Dean was
ready to jump up and down, he was anxious as hell and everything seemed to
happen too slowly. He knew he was acting like a ferret on meth, but he just
couldn't help it.
 
Caleb had once again used his contacts and tracked down the taxi company Will
had used to pick up Sam. He had already spoke with the driver, and at least
they now knew where Will had taken Sam. It was a snowball's chance in hell that
they would have stayed there, but it was a start, and it meant that they were
one step closer to--
 
Dean's thought processes shut down at that point. Finding Sam. Yeah. But
finding him... in what condition? Alive? He didn't even think about the other
option.
 
Suddenly a man approached them. He was slightly taller than average, had long
black hair and brown eyes that looked almost black. It was obvious that he was
partly native American.
 
“This is Jake Whitetree, the best tracker there is.” Caleb introduced the man
and suddenly Dean felt hope blooming in his chest. He had never seen that man
before, but his instincts told him that if anyone could find Sam, it would be
this man.
 
Jake was obviously a man who didn't waste words. “Hello.” Was the only thing he
said before walking towards the road, inspecting the gravel road for a moment
and returning to the car. “The gravel is damp and there are only one tire
tracks going deeper to the Glades so this is easy. It would have been harder if
there had been rain. Let's go.”
 
All four man stepped inside the car, Caleb on the driver's seat and Jake next
to him so that he could trace the car tracks. John sat on the backseat with
Dean and looked at his son, seeing worry and fear written all over Dean's face.
“We'll find him.” John said quietly. “We'll find Sam. I promise.”
 
Dean didn't answer, just stared out of the window. Right then words meant
nothing to him. Only having Sam back in his arms did.
 
***
 
Somehow Sam managed to find the shed. The door was unlocked, and Sam rushed
inside, even when every muscle in his body protested against fast movements.
Ben seemed to be unconscious and Sam checked his vitals quickly before turning
to find something to cut the ropes with. The only thing he found was a fairly
big shard of glass. It wasn't the best thing he could think of, but it would
have to do.
 
It took time, but finally Sam managed to cut the last shred of rope and Ben was
free.
 
Now what?
 
Sam sat on the floor and massaged his temples with his fingertips. Now that the
biggest adrenaline rush was over, his headache was returning, and he knew he
had to think of something really fast before the lightning inside his skull
would make thinking impossible.
 
Then he remembered. On the canoe, Will had used a row, which meant that they
had traveled against the stream. So, if he could get Ben and himself in to the
canoe and let it just flow along the stream... There was no guarantee where
they would end up, but it was still better than laying down and dying here.
 
Soon Sam noticed that an unconscious person, no matter how badly underweight,
was really hard to move, especially when Sam himself wasn't in too good
condition, but he managed to half carry, half drag Ben to the canoe and laid
him on the floor of the small wooden thing. It took all the power he had left
to push the canoe to the water, and the sudden image of reptile's tail and
bloody water made him shiver, but he didn't give up, just pushed harder and
used the last remains of his strength to jump to the canoe when it was on the
water. After that he slumped down to the bench on the other side of the canoe
and closed his eyes, letting the stream carry them where ever it would.
 
***
 
Jake was frustrated, everyone could see that. They had followed the tire tracks
as long as they went and found an abandoned Jeep, but that's where the tracks
ended. Jake had found different kind of tracks by the riverbank and told that
after the car Will and Sam had continued the journey with a canoe, and there
was no way to track someone down by water.
 
Dean was ready to scream. John, Caleb and Jake were talking and arguing, but
Dean didn't pay much attention to that. Not when the last remains of hope had
just been taken away from him. He wanted to cry and curse and throw himself to
the ground like a five year old having a temper tantrum.
 
And suddenly everything went silent,
 
Dean turned to look at what had caused the silence and saw his father and the
other two man standing by the river, staring at something. He walked beside
them and saw what had made them shut their mouths.
 
There was something on the river coming towards them. It was still too far to
see clearly, but it looked like a boat of some kind with a human figure in it.
And Dean knew. He could have seen Sam's figure a mile away and still recognize
him.
 
“It's Sam!” Dean breathed because he had suddenly lost his voice. “It's Sam!”
He repeated, louder this time, and when the canoe came closer, John and Caleb
now saw it too.
 
“Sam!” Dean yelled and waved his arms. At first there was no reaction and Dean
felt cold hands of fear gripping his heart, but he kept yelling Sam's name, and
finally Sam's head moved slightly and he turned to look at Dean. Dean saw Sam's
lips moving but couldn't hear the words. Still, he knew that Sam had just said
his name. God, Sam was alive! What had happened? Where was Will? What about
Ben? Dean had million questions and zero answers, but all that meant nothing,
because soon the canoe was so close to the bank that Jake stepped in to the
water and pulled it on dryer land.
 
They noticed a young boy laying on the bottom and Jake started inspecting the
damage done to Ben, but the only thing Dean could do was to help Sam to the
river bank and then they both collapsed down. Dean held on tight, as tight as
he dared since he didn't know if Sam had broken bones or something, and when
Sam wrapped his arms around Dean and held him just as tight, Dean almost broke
down.
 
Sam. Alive. Holding him.
 
For Dean it was the best feeling in the whole world.
***** Coming Back Home (With You) *****
“Are you okay?“ Dean whispered against Sam's neck, unable of letting go of Sam
for even a second. “Broken bones? What happened back there? Where's Will?”
 
Sam closed his eyes and inhaled Dean's scent, so grateful of being alive
because if anything was worth living, it was this.
 
“I don't know...” Sam finally whispered. “I'm just so tired and my head hurts.
I'll tell you everything when-”
 
“Sure, no hurry. Just take your time.”
 
Little farther away Jake was talking with John and Caleb. Ben was in really bad
condition and needed immediate help, but that required a helicopter and there
was no place where it could land. So Jake decided that he would take Ben to the
nearest place where the helicopter could land, and reminded that Sam needed a
physical check too.
 
The car was too small for six people, so they decided that Jake would drive Ben
to the landing place with Caleb. Jake would go with Ben to the hospital and
Caleb would drive the car back. To get the rest of the men. They looked at Sam
and Dean, still on the ground holding each other and decided that Sam's
condition didn't seem to be life threatening, and they would drive him to the
hospital after Ben was on his way.
 
Jake and Caleb settled Ben on the backseat, trying to make him feel as
comfortable as possible. Then they left and John looked at Sam and Dean again.
He could see how they were wrapped around each other, and the sight was so
intimate that John didn't want to interrupt them. Instead he sat down on a big
rock and started thinking. He was sure there were still people out there who
wanted to hurt the boys, and so he started making plans...
 
“I swear...” Dean choked out, all these feelings overwhelming him, “that if you
ever try to get yourself killed again I'll chain you to our home for the rest
of your life. I as so fucking worried about you... and mad at you for taking
off in the middle of the night, but that doesn't matter anymore. I got you
back, and nothing else matters.”
 
Sam moved his head slightly so that he could meet Dean's eyes.
 
“No more running. No more stupid stunts. I promise.” After a silent moment he
continued: “The only thing that kept me going was you. The way Will told me
that he wouldn't kill you because it would be much more cruel punishment if you
never found out what exactly happened to me. I couldn't let that happen. And
suddenly I just felt calm, like I knew you were coming and everything would
turn out fine. It did.”
 
Dean was quiet for a long time, and Sam was almost ready to ask if something
was wrong, when Dean finally spoke.
 
“I prayed for you.” A pause. “I have never believed in God, but I still prayed
for you.”
 
Sam was out of words. And then he didn't even have time to say anything but a
silently whispered 'thank you' before Caleb returned and herded them all into
the car. Dean supported Sam on the short walk to the car and claimed the
backseat for them. Caleb drove and John sat shotgun.
 
The drive was spent mostly in silence, but at one point Dean looked at Sam and
asked just one word: “Will?”
 
“Dead.” Sam answered, something in his expression changing, like a dark cloud
had just covered his beautiful features. Dean didn't ask for details. Sam would
tell when he was ready for it.
 
***
 
The doctor checked Sam, and everyone was relieved when all Sam had were few
bruises, cuts, and a mild concussion. Cuts and bruises would heal on their own,
but the doctor made very clear that there had to be someone with Sam at least
for couple of days because of the concussion.
 
Dean looked at the doctor like he was out of his mind. There was no way Dean
would let Sam out of his sight! Okay, maybe to use the toilet but Sam was
definitely not going anywhere else without him. Dean felt so protective towards
Sam, and once again he was amazed how much falling in love with Sam had changed
him. Before Sam Dean had been careless, only settling for one night stands, not
even believing he could actually get into a steady relationship with anyone.
Until there was Sam. And now he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.
Sam had really saved Dean from himself.
 
“Okay.” The doctor's voice interrupted Dean's thoughts. “There's no serious
damage but someone has to spend the next couple of days with him, and if he
starts getting headaches and blurry vision, take him to the hospital right
away. Is there anyone you know that you could go to for few days, Sam?”
 
“Me.” Dean said right away. “We live together. I'll take care of Sam.”
 
“That's good.” The doctor smiled. “If there's no questions, I would like to go
and see how our other patient is doing.”
 
“The last time Ben was kidnapped from the hospital...” Sam said quietly. “What
if...”
 
“I have read his files, and I am aware of those things. There is 24 hour
surveillance outside Ben's room until he's recovered enough to be moved to a
hospital closer to where you live. I understood that that was what you wished.”
 
Sam nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”
 
Sam was exhausted, Dean could see that. But there were still things that needed
to clarified before they could leave Florida.
 
***
 
Jake was waiting outside of the hospital. He had some questions for Sam, and
even when Jake could see that Sam needed food and sleep, he needed to know what
had happened back in the marshes. Had Sam killed Will?
 
“Sam!” Jake called when he saw him coming out of the hospital doors with the
two Winchesters, Caleb following few feet behind them. “I'm sorry about the
time and situation, but I need to ask you one question.”
 
Sam looked tired but nodded.
 
“What happened to the kidnapper?” Jake asked. “Don't worry, whatever it was, it
was self defense. No one is accusing you of anything. I just need to know.”
 
Sam was confused. “Why? I mean, I was told that you're a tracker. The police
will question me later anyway.”
 
Jake sighed. “And that's why I'm asking you now. Yes, I'm a tracker, but I also
work for the Miami-Dade Police Department. And If I can get your statement now,
it will much more easier and I don't think you have to come back here to answer
those questions.” Jake looked at Sam. “Please, Sam, tell me what happened.”
 
“Okay.” Sam's voice was quiet and Dean noticed that right away. Jake pulled a
recorder out of his pocket.
 
“Mind if I record this?” He asked. Sam shook his head. He took a couple of deep
breaths and started telling everything that had happened ever since he had got
out of the plane. His voice was monotone and he didn't express any emotions,
not even when he got to the snake and alligator part which made the other men
either widen their eyes or move a little nervously. Sam told everything, and
when he was finished, he just stood there, staring over Jake's shoulder but not
really seeing anything. Dean went by his side and placed his hand gently on
Sam's shoulder. The things that Sam had described were shocking, but Sam looked
like he wasn't even there, didn't even flinch when Dean's hand landed on his
shoulder.
 
It kind of scared Dean. He had seen how Sam acted when he shut out the rest of
the world, and he could only hope that this wasn't that kind of thing. Maybe
Sam was still in shock too. He was acting way too calm, considering what he had
gone through and the thing he'd had to witness.
 
“Can you describe me the animals?” Jake asked and Sam didn't move, didn't look
at Jake, just kept staring at somewhere far away.
 
After hearing the descriptions Jake sighed. “My guess is it was a Gator,
American Alligator. It's quite rare that they attack people, but since the guy
fell to the water where the gator was already, my guess is it simply defended
itself, feeling threatened. The snake was without a doubt a diamondback.”
 
“Diamondback?” Dean asked, his expression confused. “What kind of a snake is
called 'diamondback'??”
 
“It's Crotalus adamanteus, Diamondback rattlesnake, name coming from it's
patterns that are much like diamond shaped. Diamondback venom is a potent
hemotoxin that kills red blood cells and causes tissue damage. Bites are
extremely painful and can be fatal to humans. However, antivenin is widely
available throughout the snake's range, and bites rarely result in death, but
considering how far in the marshes you were, he was a lost cause even without
the alligator. The gator actually did him a favor. He would have died anyway,
in this case it just took minutes instead of hours.”
 
Sam still didn't show any reaction to anything Jake said, but Dean couldn't
help himself. Oh how he would have wanted that bastard suffer for hours, the
venom eating his flesh away...
 
But Will was dead and that was what mattered, and Dean didn't feel even
slightest guilt of being pleased thinking how horrible Will's death had been.
It was everything the fucker deserved.
 
“Was that all?” Sam asked with quiet voice. “I'd like to go home now.”
 
“Sure, sure, I got it all on tape.” Jake said and smiled for the first time
during this whole time. “Just don't get yourself in trouble anymore. Okay?”
 
Sam actually managed to smile a little too and Dean breathed out a breath of
relief. Finally a sign of some emotions...
 
Sam turned to face Dean, the empty look in his eyes gone, and bent down to kiss
him softly on the lips. “Thank you for coming for me.” He said quietly. “The
thought of you kept me alive.”
 
“Don't ever think that I wouldn't.” Dean said, voice serious before softening,
barely a whisper against Sam's lips. “I love you more that you cold understand.
To me, you're everything.”
 
“Right back at you.” Sam smiled gently but it was so visible how exhausted he
was. “Can we go home now?”
 
“Yeah...” Dean smiled back. “That sounds good. Perfect, actually.”
 
***
 
Sam slept the whole flight across the country, leaning his head against Dean's
shoulder and snoring quietly. Dean decided that Sam was in no condition to
cook, and since Dean's own cooking skills were limited to barbeque, it would be
takeout for at least few days. But not Chinese or any of that. Dean would get
them food from proper restaurants and nurse Sam back to health.
 
When the flight landed, Dean had to wake Sam up. “Hey, buddy. We just landed.
Let's go home.”
 
They took a cab and as soon as Sam was out of his dirty clothes, showered and
swallowed down at least a gallon of water he headed to the bedroom. “You
coming?” Sam asked and Dean smiled and followed, stripping off his clothes on
his way and not caring one bit where they landed.
 
“I feel like sleeping for a week...” Sam murmured and Dean kissed him softly.
 
“You can do that if you want. Let's get to bed. It's been a long day.”
 
They crawled under the covers, and Sam was asleep as soon as his head hit the
pillow. Dean stayed awake for a while longer, just looking at Sam.
 
He decided that miracles existed.
 
He was currently looking at one.
***** Good Morning Sunshine *****
Soft morning light filtered through the curtains when Dean woke up. To be
completely honest, he hadn't slept much, first unable to stop looking at Sam
and thinking how close he had been of losing him and again, and then waking up
every single time Sam had made even a slightest sound or movement. Still, Dean
didn't feel tired at all. In fact he felt like his whole body was filled with
energy. And joy. And gratitude.
 
Dean sighed, gently brushed a strand of hair from Sam's forehead, placed a soft
kiss against his cheek and reluctantly got out of bed. Sam would be hungry when
he would wake up, so Dean closed the bedroom door behind him as silently as
possible and went to the living room, opened his cell phone and ordered
breakfast from the nearby Deli. After the call he just sat on the couch with
his cell in his hands and thought.
 
Sam had went through hell -again- and there was no denying it. Dean wanted to
do something to help him, but he was no therapist. All he had to offer was his
love and support – and the fact that he really would chain Sam to the bed for
the rest of his life if his lover even showed a slightest sign of doing
something like that again. But then again, Dean understood why Sam had done it
alone. He knew, that Sam had left without him to keep him safe. But what Sam
obviously didn't understand was that the prospect of living without Sam was
just as same as pointing a gun straight at Dean's heart and pulling the
trigger. And that right there was something that Dean had to make Sam
understand.
 
What had Dean had before Sam? Really? Work. One night stands. Coming home
alone. Not even visiting his parents or his sister that often.
 
His life had been just an endless row of empty days.
 
And then there had been Sam. Sam, a hooker that Dean had seen walking down the
street that one night driving back from the office. He still didn't know why he
had slowed down and stopped the car. He didn't do hookers, he didn't have to.
There were escorts, high class company, and even more surely that didn't
explain why he had picked Sam, because Dean didn't even have to pay for sex if
he didn't want to. Sure, it was easier with escorts. No strings attached, no 'I
call yous', no complications. But when he had seen Sam, something inside him
had made him stop the car.
 
Maybe it had been work. All the pressure, the deadlines, the stress. Maybe Dean
had just wanted to have some insane relief from someone who didn't expect to be
treated with silk gloves like they were world's most expensive treasures. Yeah,
that was it. He had just wanted to fuck and get it over with.
 
But when Sam had smiled...
 
Yes, Dean had needed someone for the business trip, but a hooker?? Still, he
had went for it, asked Sam about his education and parents and stuff -just like
he would with any other other person he would consider hiring- and to Dean's
honest surprise Sam had turned out to be highly educated, smart and witty. Not
at all what Dean had expected. Nor had he expected the insane pull he felt
toward Sam. Sexually, yes. At least at first...
 
So, he had hired Sam. And not only hired, he had wanted Sam to stay for a
night. And the next one, and the next... and Dean Winchester had never before
wanted anyone to stay til morning. But there had been something about Sam; how
honest he had been, how open. Nothing like those statue-like escorts or needy
pick ups from bars or nightclubs. Sam hadn't asked for anything, hadn't
demanded anything, not even his name, and that right there had been something
Dean couldn't understand, because everybody in this world wanted something. But
not Sam. Meeting Sam had turned Dean's world upside down, and for the first
time in his life Dean had felt like he didn't have to pretend to be perfect,
that he had a permission to be... human.
 
And then he had fell in love with Sam. And it had been the best thing that had
ever happened to him, because now when he looked back, the person he had been
or pretended to be... Dean didn't even recognize that person anymore. It had
been just a cover, a shield to hide his fear of getting hurt.
 
“Jesus!!”
 
Dean nearly jumped off the couch when the intercom rang and he rushed to it.
 
“Yeah?”
 
“The breakfast you ordered is here. Should I send it up, sir?”
 
Dean sighed. “Yeah... Yeah, send it up. Thank you Andrew.”
 
“Who's Andrew...?” Came a sleepy voice behind Dean as soon as he had ended the
call. Dean turned around and couldn't help but smile as he saw Sam, leaning
against the bedroom door frame wearing only pajama pants and his hair a ruffled
mess.
 
“Andrew...” Dean smiled as he made his way to Sam and kissed him softly, “...is
a guy who's sending breakfast up here. Hungry?”
 
“Starving...” Sam muttered and scratched his belly. “I didn't hear you getting
up.”
 
“I was trying not to wake you up.” Dean reached out his hand and touched Sam's
temple carefully. “How's your head?”
 
“Better...” Sam leaned in to the touch. “Even better after I get something in
my belly...”
 
Dean laughed a bit. “Already arranged. Come here.”
 
Dean took Sam's hand and led him to the kitchen table just as the elevator
doors opened and food was rolled in. Sam tried to get up and help as soon as
they were alone again but Dean sternly guided him back to the chair and started
setting the table.
 
“You. Sit. Eat.”
 
Dean smiled as he saw Sam smirking and making a mock salute. “Yes, sir.”
 
“And don't call me sir.”
 
“Yes, sir.” Sam grinned and dug in to his food.
 
Dean snorted. “Brat...”
 
Sam just smiled as Dean walked behind him and hugged him. “But you know what?”
He kissed Sam's earlobe before whispering: “You'll be the world's most pampered
brat from now on.”
 
As they ate, Dean came to a conclusion that picking up Sam from the street was
the best thing he had ever done.
 
He also knew, that at some point they would have to go through what had
happened in Florida, but when he looked at Sam, and Sam caught him looking and
smiled...
 
Yeah, they would have to go through it, but not today, because if there was
heaven on earth... This, seeing Sam smile was it, and they both deserved a
little bit of it.
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