Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/387654.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Sirius_Black/Remus_Lupin, Lily_Evans/James_Potter
  Character:
      Sirius_Black, Lucius_Malfoy, Remus_Lupin, Peter_Pettigrew, James_Potter,
      Lily_Evans, Alphard_Black
  Stats:
      Published: 2010-11-15 Completed: 2010-12-05 Chapters: 13/13 Words: 27264
****** Pray the Gay Away ******
by Amuly
Summary
     Remus' parents send him to a Christian camp designed to help him
     control his “Same Sex Attraction”. Once there, Remus finds himself
     rooming with the devilishly handsome bad-boy, Sirius Black. Will he
     give in to temptation? Could the attraction he feels for Sirius be
     more than physical? Non-Magical 1970s AU
***** Chapter 1 *****
Chapter Summary
     Remus arrives at camp and meets Sirius
Remus stepped out of the car, pushing brown hair out of his eyes even as it
fell in front of them. His rucksack was slung over his shoulder, stuffed with
books, cards, and – at the very bottom, in a secret compartment – chocolate. He
heard a thump behind him: that would be his duffle bag. A moment later the car
door shut, and the sound of tires over gravel reached his ears. His parents
were gone. Only then did Remus turn around and retrieve his bag.
“Remus Lupin?”
Remus looked up as he hefted his duffle and adjusted his rucksack on one
shoulder. A man was walking up to him: he was wearing tight jeans with a brown,
braided belt; a flannel t-shirt was tucked into them. His grin was just a
little to big, his eyes a little too bright. Remus' first thought was yeah.
Gay.
Switching his duffle to his left hand, Remus stuck out his right to the
approaching man. “Yes, sir.”
To his surprise, Remus was pulled into a tight hug. A tight,  lingering  hug.
He stiffened. Okay, this guy was  definitely  gay. And this was one of the
counselors? How were they supposed to fix him if they couldn't even fix
themselves?
“Remus, it's wonderful to see you here.” The man pulled away, but kept his
hands on Remus' shoulders. “My name's Camp Counselor Martin Davies, but you can
just call me Martin. We're going to do our best to make sure you get the help
you need. Six weeks from now, and you'll have all the tools necessary to keep
your SSA under control.”
“SSA?”
The man nodded, a compassionate expression on his face. Remus hated it. “Same-
sex attraction.”
Remus nodded in understanding. “Right. Yeah.”
“Come on,” the man slung an arm around his shoulder. He smelled kind of sweaty,
and Remus tensed. “I'll show you to your cabin.”
As they walked through the camp, Martin gave a quick tour and explained the way
the camp worked. “Over there is the cafeteria. We all take breakfast, lunch and
dinner at the same time every day: seven, noon, and five. We have an early to
bed, early to rise philosophy here. Nothing good ever came from wandering about
after dark!” Remus' mind guiltily flashed back to the one evening he spent
catching fireflies with the boy from the neighboring farm. His lips were
chapped from the dry summer air when he had leaned in and pressed them to
Remus'.
“No, sir,” he mumbled.
“Of course, Saturdays we have special after-dark events, like the bonfire we're
having this Saturday.” They rounded a bend on the dirt road and came to a group
of cabins. “Here's where all the campers sleep. Each camper is assigned a
partner when they're here – but not that kind of partner!” Martin laughed a
little to hard. Remus joined in, knowing he was expected to. Remus had the
feeling that Martin told this joke to every new camper. He continued talking,
“No, not that kind of partner. Our partners are here to help keep each other on
the right path. You will be expected to report any inappropriate behavior that
your partner exhibits, and he will do the same for you.”
They stopped in front of cabin seven, where the counselor hesitated at the
door. “Your partner...he's not exactly the most well-behaved...” Martin seemed
to be trying to figure out how to word something terrible in the most pleasant
way possible. “He's a backslider. He's been here several times before and...is
liable to cause trouble. But I think you're up to the challenge, Remus. I can
tell you're going to give this camp your all.”
With that, Martin swung open the door for Remus and stepped back. “Remember:
Dinner's at five. Until then, you can just spend your time setting up your bed
and getting to know Sirius.”
Martin disappeared, and Remus was left facing an open door, duffle bag in his
left hand and rucksack over his shoulder. With no little amount of trepidation,
Remus stuck his head into the cabin, peering around.
The first thing he noticed upon popping his head inside the little cabin's
doors was the smell of cigarette smoke, hanging thick in the air. The source of
it was a black-haired boy sitting casually on the bed: long hair hanging in
front of his eyes, one leg lying straight out before him on the bed, the other
crooked up. The hand with the cigarette in it dangled from the one raised knee
with a sort of casual elegance that made Remus' breath stutter. He immediately
quashed those feelings, dropping his eyes and looking away from the boy on the
bed.
“Mind opening a window? Smell's a bit thick in here, don't you think?”
The other boy – Sirius, Remus reminded himself – lifted his head slowly,
tilting it so his hair fell to one side, away from his eyes. Remus was struck
by the silvery cast to his eyes, unlike anything he had ever seen before. After
a moment of quiet consideration, a slow grin slid across his face. “Open it
yourself.”
Remus sighed, chucking his bag next to his bed. Of course –  of course  – the
only window was over Sirius' bed, meaning that Remus had to climb over the
other boy to get to it.
Still, Remus straightened his shoulders and walked over to Sirius' bed. He
could do this. He was here to get fixed, after all. If he couldn't even reach
over another boy, some good he would be in the real world. With a deep breath,
Remus climbed onto the bed, reaching over Sirius and swinging the window open.
He was all-too-aware of the quiet, even breaths of the boy beneath him, and the
way his knee rocked gently toward his midsection.
As soon as he was done Remus scrambled off the bed and hurried over to his own,
putting as much distance between himself and the other boy as possible. Sirius
just smirked knowingly at him, before flicking his cigarette out of the window
and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “What's your name, new kid?”
“Remus Lupin.”
“Sirius Black.” Remus went to extended his hand for Sirius to shake, but Sirius
just scoffed and stood up from his bed. “Didn't Camp Counselor Martin teach you
how we do things here? We don't shake hands: we hug.”
Abruptly Remus found himself being pulled into a fierce hug. He stiffened
automatically – until he smelled Sirius' hair. He took a shaking breath,
breathing in a sort of woodsy, smokey scent. As he felt Sirius' muscular form
mold against his, Remus reminded himself that Sirius only smelled that way
because he had been smoking cigarettes in a wood cabin, and that Sirius'
muscles weren't something he wanted to feel, but something he wanted to be.
All of that didn't help control the erection that was slowly filling out his
trousers.
Remus pulled away as quickly as he could without seeming suspicious, refusing
to meet Sirius' mocking eyes as he curled up on his own bed.
“I'm sure Martin told you how things supposedly worked around here, but that's
all a bunch of bullshit. So here's how things really work.” Sirius was bent
over, rummaging through a loose floorboard beneath his bed. Remus did his best
not to stare. “I charge twenty-five pence per session with the magazine,”
Sirius punctuated this by tossing a crumpled magazine at Remus. He caught it,
then immediately dropped it. There were half-naked men on the cover, looking...
intimate. Remus wasn't sure if he wanted to know if they were less clothed on
the inner pages.
“One pound for a handjob, two pound for a blowjob. I'll do rimming, but only if
you just showered, and that's gonna cost you four quid. Don't do anal, unless
you're willing to fork over ten quid plus the cost of the lube. No way in hell
I'm ever going dry again.”
Remus' mouth was hanging open, and Sirius grinned as he straightened back up
from his little hiding spot. “Give it a week at this place, then tell me if you
don't want me to help you forget for a few minutes.” He winked rakishly, and
Remus found he had to shift on the bed. Again. How the camp counselors expected
any boy to be able to sleep with Sirius Black just a few feet away, Remus would
never know.
With an air of self-importance Sirius checked his watch. He lit a cigarette as
he stood, flashy zippo clicking open and shut in rapid succession. “Well, I've
got an appointment.” Sirius winked at Remus again. Fuck. That wink... “See you
at dinner. And shut the window if you're going to have one off. The counselors
like to try and interrupt, and that just gets annoying after a while.”
In a whirlwind of cigarette smoke, silken black hair, and jeans pressing
sinfully tight against skin, Sirius Black was gone from their cabin.
Remus shut the window.


 
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     Remus experiences his first round of SSA therapy.
Remus poked at his dinner, trying his best not to look guilty. He had done his
best to think of gorgeous women as he had wanked, but flashes of grey eyes and
silken black hair had intruded. Try as he might to convince himself that the
long black hair in his fantasies belonged to some beautiful, exotic woman,
Remus knew exactly whose warm mouth he had imagined sliding over his cock that
afternoon.
“Remus!”
Remus jumped as Sirius slid into the seat next to him, bumping shoulders as he
did.
“Noticed our window was closed when I went back to stash my cash before dinner.
Have a good afternoon?” Sirius leaned into Remus, leer impossibly obvious.
Remus leaned away, poking at his food. “Having a wank doesn't make me...you
know. Maybe I thought of girls.”
Shoveling food into his mouth, Sirius snorted. “Yeah, and I absolutely hate
having one off in the shower with some gorgeous bloke.” Leaning in far too
close again, Sirius pressed his mouth nearly to Remus' ear. “'Course, been a
lack of gorgeous guys as of late...until you walked into my cabin.”
“Sirius!”
Remus shrank away from Sirius, trying to make himself as small as possible.
Sirius just raised a hand in mock-salute to Counselor Martin, who was striding
over to their table. “Martin! How's the Missus?”
Martin's grin was too-wide again, Remus noticed – especially so at the mention
of his wife. “She's doing just fine, Sirius. Now, are you bothering Remus?”
“Managed to get the Missus pregnant yet?”
Remus' eyes flickered back and forth between Sirius and Martin. It didn't take
a genius to see that this was a sensitive area of discussion for the counselor
– nor did it take a genius to figure out why.
Sirius continued, seemingly unperturbed by the commotion he was making.
“Besides, I was just introducing Remus to 'sharing masculinity'. Since we have
a session tonight, I thought he ought to be prepared.”
Beneath the table, Sirius' foot kicked Remus'. He only hesitated a moment
before speaking up. “He really was explaining it, Counselor Martin. I didn't
want to look like an idiot tonight during the...uh...session.”
Martin's grin relaxed somewhat, and he nodded. “Alright then. Just...stay on
your guard, Remus. Temptation is everywhere, and backsliding is sometimes
easier than breathing.”
Remus nodded seriously. Sirius' foot was sliding slowly over his calf beneath
the dining table.
As Counselor Martin left, Sirius turned back to Remus with an interested gleam
in his eyes. “Nice job, Remus. I'll make a partner of you yet. And I don't mean
partner the way Martin does.”
Sirius' foot was caressing the back of Remus' knee. He tried not to whimper,
opting to turn back to his food and focus on eating instead. Fucking hell.
Sirius Black.
**
That evening after dinner, Remus followed a chortling Sirius to the center
cabin of the camp. All the counselors and campers were assembled there, paired
off in little groups of six or so apiece. Remus let Sirius drag him over toward
one of the groups – ignoring the touch of Sirius' strong fingers around his
wrist and the swagger of Sirius' hips in those jeans.
"Sirius! Is this your new partner Counselor Martin mentioned?"
Remus suddenly found himself the subject of the scrutiny of four other boys his
own age and one camp counselor he hadn't met yet. Sirius, perhaps sensing
Remus' awkwardness, perhaps just butting in because that's how he was - brash
and loud - spoke up. “This is Remus. He's seen the error of his poofter ways
and has decided to be cured!”
Remus bristled slightly at being called a “poofter”, but kept silent. That was,
after all, the reason he was here.
Sirius' sarcasm didn't go unnoticed by the camp counselor, who pressed his lips
together, but seemed to come to the decision to ignore Sirius in favor of
Remus. He gathered that Sirius acted like this often enough that such behavior
drew little attention from the staff.
The counselor turned toward Remus, smiling warmly. This man had dark brown hair
and brown eyes. He seemed a touch more tolerable than Counselor Martin, but
there was still something off about his smile. Like he was trying to hard, or
it almost had an edge of desperation to it. Remus was beginning to realize most
of the men, and some of the boys, around the camp had the same desperate hint
to their smile. With a shudder, Remus had a flash of an image of himself
sporting that same smile. The thought unnerved him. “I'm Camp Counselor Liam
James, but you can call me Counselor Liam. Counselor Martin told me Sirius had
already explained to you the basics of what we're going to do here at dinner?"
Remus' mind immediately went back to Sirius' foot rubbing against his leg at
dinner, and the hand that tried to creep up his thigh. Remus had squirmed away
from the hand, pushing it forcibly aside at one point. He hadn't pushed aside
the foot. That lingered, rubbing against the back of his knee and calf. Remus
had been too weak to push it aside.
In response to Counselor Liam, Remus nodded. Slowly. “He said...about
reclaiming 'lost masculinity'?”
Counselor Liam's smiled eased into something a little more genuine. “That's
right, Remus. See, the feelings that you have for other men are only there
because you don't feel masculine enough. Here at SSA rehabilitation camp, we
help you regain that masculinity through a few different methods: sports,
acting-therapy, studying the Word, and – as you'll see here tonight – through
transference of the masculine touch.”
Liam turned to two of the boys who were standing off to his side. “Lucius?
John? Why don't you two demonstrate for Remus one way to transfer masculinity
to your fellow campers?”
“Luscious Lucius.” Sirius' breath was hot against Remus' ear, and he started in
surprise. Turning back to glance at Sirius, Remus was only treated to an
eyebrow waggle and a head nod. He turned back to the two boys, agreeing in some
dark corner of his mind with Sirius – Lucius was quite luscious.
The blonde-haired boy – Lucius – sat down on the ground with the brown-haired
boy – John. Counselor Liam indicated everyone else should sit, so Remus
followed suit – avoiding being pulled into Sirius' lap at the last second with
some careful wriggling. Sirius pouted but shifted closer, bumping their knees
together. Remus decided to leave him that bit of contact – just to appease
Sirius, of course. He'd rather not be touching the other boy at all. Of course.
To Remus' astonishment, Lucius sat in back of John, spreading his legs out so
that John could sit between them. When they were plastered firmly together,
chest-to-back, Lucius wrapped his arms around John and squeezed him tight.
Remus was fairly certain his mouth was hanging open. This was supposed to not
be gay?
Counselor Liam was saying something, and Remus hurried to focus on it. “-what
we call the 'motorcycle' position. Lucius is sending his masculinity to John
through this affirmative, masculine touch. In a moment they will switch, and
the process will start again.”
Hesitantly, Remus raised his hand. “How...how does this...I mean...work?”
Counselor Liam's grin turned a little more plastic at the question. “What do
you mean?”
“Well...” Sirius' knee was warm against Remus' leg. He tried not to attribute
his boldness to the brash boy sitting next to him. “Well, besides the fact that
they're hugging...” Lucius abruptly dropped his arms from around John and they
scooted away from each other. Remus thought they might have both been hiding
erections as they adjusted their positions on the floor. “If Lucius is here
because he's lost his masculinity, and John is here because he lost his, where
are we supposed to get it from?” The rest of the boys were staring at Remus
with just a touch of awe, while Liam's face grew stormier and stormier. “I
mean, if masculinity is on a zero to ten scale, and we all come in here with
zero, then we're just passing zero back and forth. Even if we all had five
'masculine points', then by reversing the seating positions you're just trading
it right back, so it's the same as when you started. It's a closed system. You
can't gain in a closed system.”
Next to him, Sirius let out a triumphant whoop, slinging his arm around Remus'
shoulder and pulling him in close. Remus swallowed hard and tried not to lean
into Sirius' embrace. He didn't pull away, either.
Liam turned away from Remus for a moment, gesturing to some camp counselors who
were idling against one wall of the cabin. One came over, and Liam directed him
to Sirius and Remus. “Escort these two back to their cabin. These  backsliders
need to copy scripture until lights out. Start with Leviticus Eighteen.” The
last part was directed at Sirius and Remus.
Remus blinked, mouth agape and Sirius' arm still heavy around his shoulder. “B-
b-but...I'm not...I just wanted to understand how it works! I'm not trying to-”
Practically in his ear, Sirius snorted loudly before dragging him to his feet.
“Oh no, Remi-dear. You questioned their methods. That makes you as much as a
'backslider' as gorgeous ol' me.”
Remus tried to protest again, but found himself being dragged away by Sirius
and the nameless camp counselor Liam had ordered to escort them back to their
cabin. Within minutes he found himself shut in with Sirius, a Bible in both of
their hands and pages of blank copy paper at the two small desks against the
back wall of their cabin. Remus stared blankly down at the Bible in his hand.
Next to him, Sirius was having no indecision as to his actions. He tossed the
Bible on his desk, climbed up onto his bed, and lit a cigarette.
Remus stood in the middle of the room, hesitating between actually sitting down
and writing the lines, and snuggling up on his bed with a piece of chocolate
and trying to get to sleep.
Sirius – of course – made the decision for him. With a slow, sultry grace that
surely no teenage boy should possess, he turned to Remus, quiet grin quirking
at his lips as cigarette smoke curled out from between them. “Wanna try some
masculine touch therapy in here?” His hand not curled around the cigarette
patted at his bed, fingers stroking at the sheets slowly.
Remus knew this was a terrible idea. He absolutely, without a doubt,  knew
that he only wanted to climb up on that bed and hug Sirius because he was
attracted to him.  But what if it works ? a traitorous little corner of his
mind whispered. He had promised his parents that he would try everything to get
cured, and do everything the camp counselors suggested. Maybe the masculinity
sharing really did work? Through some sort of...exponential growth...thing?
With a skeptical look, Remus climbed up onto Sirius' bed. “I know what you're
trying to do,” he growled.
Sirius' arms and legs quickly wrapped around him, drawing him into a far more
gentle embrace than Remus might have imagined himself. Not that he had imagined
what Sirius' embrace might have felt like. “I'm just trying to make my
masculine energy spread into you.” Sirius' breath tickled at Remus' ear. A
moment later, Remus felt the faintest touch of Sirius' lips there. “Don't you
want my masculine energy deep inside you?”
Huffing indignantly, Remus tried to disentangle himself from Sirius. “Come on,
shove off!”
Behind him, Sirius was laughing and grabbing for his flailing limbs, trying to
hold him in place. “Hey, hey! Come on! I was just fooling. Relax.”
In increments Remus relaxed against Sirius, until they were sitting comfortably
again with Sirius wrapped around Remus. “This feels...nice.” Remus suddenly
tensed. “Is it supposed to feel nice?”
“Bollocksed if I know.” Sirius' lips were against Remus' neck now, chin resting
on the crook of Remus' shoulder. “Parents just keep shoving me here anytime
school's out. Haven't been magically cured yet. Still want to suck cock and
fuck boys.”
Remus tilted his head back slightly. “But you don't sound like you've even
tried. Maybe...if you tried harder...didn't get boys off in the bathrooms...”
Sirius scoffed, nudging his head against Remus' neck. “Yeah right. 'sides:
how'd I get cigarette money other wise?”
There was a lull as Remus tried to think of a response to that besides “Don't
smoke”. His mind drifted, and it was with a start that Remus realized Sirius
was kissing and licking gently at his neck. To his chagrin, Remus realized that
his body had taken notice while his mind had been wandering. “I...I have to...”
He pulled away from Sirius, practically diving onto his own bed and yanking up
the covers. Sirius was laughing behind him.
“Oh, come on, Remus! It's just a bit of fun!”
But Remus shook his head viciously, shoving his face into his pillow and
crossing his legs tightly. “You might not care, Sirius, but I do. I came here
to get cured.”
Remus could feel the change in Sirius' demeanor before the boy even spoke. The
smell of cigarettes grew less cloying, and Remus figured Sirius had thrown his
dying butt out of the window. “Fine. Be a closet case. But when you get tired
of your hand and need a good blow in a week, don't come looking for me.”
With that, Sirius snapped the bedside lamp off. It was another hour before
Remus could get to sleep.


***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Summary
     Remus follows Sirius into the woods and meets some kids from another
     camp.
Remus woke the next morning to the sound of faint scratching on wood. He opened
his eyes to the wall next to his bed, blinking a few times before he realized
it wasn't even dawn yet. The air was lighter than night: pre-dawn, then. Still,
it was barely enough illumination to see the wall just a few inches in front of
his nose.
Listening carefully, Remus could make out the sounds of Sirius replacing his
secret loose board in the floor. There were a few seconds of pence jangling
around in pockets, then socks slipping into trainers. A moment later their door
swung open, then shut. It was only then that Remus allowed himself to sit up
and peer out his window. He caught a glimpse of a hooded Sirius trudging
quickly away from camp, into the woods. It took all of two seconds for Remus to
make the decision to follow him before he was dressed and out the door.
It was well before the seven o'clock breakfast call, and the rest of the camp
was still sound asleep. Remus held his breath as he sneaked past the
counselors' cabins, but there wasn't even the slightest sound of stirring from
within. Once out in the woods, Remus tread less carefully, trusting the early
morning sounds of birds and insects awakening to cover the quiet crack and
crunch of his trainers over the soft ground.
Maybe a half kilometer into the woods, Sirius stopped, inclining his head
slightly without turning around. “If you're going to follow me, you might as
well walk with me. Get up here.”
Not questioning Sirius' proclamation, Remus jogged a few feet to catch up with
him. The two boys continued forward, Remus silently examining his fingernails
as they walked, Sirius with his hands shoved deep in his hoodie's pockets.
After another half kilometer, Remus felt the need to break the preternatural,
predawn silence. “I was making sure you weren't getting into trouble.”
Sirius snorted, though his mood seemed to improve with the lie. He tilted his
head slightly, pale grey eyes peeking out from the edge of his hoodie. “Sure,
Remus. Titillated at the thought of seeing me get a guy off?”
Remus blushed, ducking his head away from Sirius' knowing gaze. “Just checking
on you. They said I'd get in trouble if I couldn't control you.”
“Better get used to getting in trouble, in that case.”
Remus had nothing to say to that, so they fell silent again. The birds were
starting to wake in earnest, now: chirping and making all sorts of racket
around them. The buzz of cicadas started up as the sun rose and touched away
the dark shadows of the forests, and soon enough the silence between the two
boys was more bearable, with the sounds of the living forest mitigating it.
Another kilometer into the forest, and Remus was starting to grow worried. If
they went much farther, they wouldn't make it back to camp before the
counselors woke. Just as he was working up the guts to raise his concern to
Sirius, the other boy stopped and cupped his hands around his mouth. “Aroooo!”
Remus blinked at the howl, but before he could ask about it, an answering howl
could be heard just over the next ridge. Sirius grinned, starting forward
purposefully.
Before they had even reached the top of the little hill, a tousled mop of black
hair poked out of the top. It was soon followed by a bespectacled boy, looking
around Sirius and Remus' own age. A moment later another boy appeared next to
him: this one blonde and slightly heavier, panting a little at the climb up the
hill.
“Oi, you dog! How's camp poofter?”
Sirius grinned, launching himself at the dark-haired boy. “Better'n camp
footie-champion. Tired of getting your arse handed to you yet?”
The other boy just laughed into a fierce hug, before pulling away and
attempting to give Sirius a friendly noogie, which he managed to squirm out of.
“Not happened yet, you know that. Ask Pete the same question and you might get
a yes.”
Remus examined the other boys, ignoring the small flare-up of jealousy he felt
upon seeing how close Sirius and the dark-haired boy were. With his arm still
slung around the as-of-yet-nameless boy, Sirius turned to Remus. His grin
immediately grew feral, eyes flashing at something he must have seen in Remus'
eyes. “Jealous, Remus dear?”
Ducking his head, Remus focused on poking at pebbles with his trainers. “Not my
business who you're with.”
The other boy made a disgusted noise, and Remus' eyes flickered up to see the
boy pulling away from a Sirius who seemed intent on snogging the side of his
face. “Oi! Get off, you old queen! Yuck!”
Sirius laughed, finally giving up and turning his attention back to Remus. “No
worries, love: James here isn't bent. Neither is Pete. So you've got no
competition for a piece of my gorgeous arse.” Sirius promptly turned around and
waggled said arse at Remus, shoving it practically into his lap.
Remus had a hard time suppressing a smile as he pushed Sirius away. “Stop it,”
he muttered, though the protest lacked any conviction. Remus decided to ignore
the knowing glance Sirius and James shared.
“How's Evans doing?”
James immediately went beet red, from the tips of his ears down his neck. Remus
glanced between the two boys, until Peter stepped in and explained. “Evans is
Lily Evans. She goes to the girl's summer camp across the lake from us.”
Sirius made doe-eyes at James, clasping his hands over his heart
melodramatically. “She's James' one true looove.”
Remus suppressed another smile as James half-heartedly shoved at Sirius, and a
quick scuffle ensued. Sirius emerged the victor, holding James in a headlock as
the dark-haired boy shouted “Sirius is my king! Sirius is my king!” until
Sirius let him go.
Their apparent greeting rituals aside, James and Sirius settled down to
business. An indeterminate amount of money exchanged hands, and then James was
handing over a couple packs of cigarettes, and Peter what appeared to be a
thimbleful of lighter fluid. Sirius lit one of the cigarettes immediately,
sighing as he blew a thick column of smoke straight above their heads. “Nothing
like the first fag of the day,” he muttered, face still tilted upwards. He
cocked it slightly to the side, eyes sliding over to meet Remus'. “Right?”
Remus coughed to hide his blush. “Dunno,” he finally mumbled, for lack of a
better response.
James, apparently taking pity on Remus, clasped him on the shoulder amicably.
“He comes on a bit strong, doesn't he?”
Rems scuffed his toe in the dirt, shrugging one shoulder. Sirius spoke up for
him, nudging him with his arm. “Hey, I'll make Remus my partner-in-crime yet.
He questioned the 'masculine touch therapy' last night, his first day here.”
James cackled at the mention of 'masculine touch therapy', before grabbing
Peter and wrapping his arms around him. “Peter! Peter! Do you feel my masculine
energy flowing through you?”
Peter squirmed and laughed, shoving at James playfully. Remus watched the
proceedings with baffled amusement. He had never had male friends like this
before – ones that touched and wrestled, without any thought for how it might
look. The only time he had been physical with another boy, their playful
grappling had led to kissing and then...punishment. He was surprised straight
boys could act that way. He was surprised straight boys could be friends with
poofters.
Sirius' glance faltered on Remus, his grin softening a little. His arm touched
against Remus more gently than before, causing Remus to glance over at him.
“Hey. You need to...”
But Remus shrugged him off, turning away. “Done? We need to get back to camp.”
Sirius frowned, but didn't comment. Instead he turned back to James and Peter,
giving them both a bruising, manly hug before tapping Remus on the shoulder.
“Two days, James?”
James waved one hand, and the two other boys were off, back to their own camp.
As they walked back, Remus tried to ignore the way their shoulders brushed
ever-so-casually with their footsteps. He chanced a few glances to his side,
only to find Sirius focused on the ground in front of him, or the cigarette as
he brought it to his lips.
“How do you know James?”
Sirius took a long drag before answering. “We all go to boarding school
together. James is my best mate. When he found out about my folks sending me
here, he figured out about the footie camp nearby. He was already the star
player at our school, so it was easy to convince his parents to send him there
for the summer. That way, he can help me out.” Sirius flicked ash from the end
of his cigarette pointedly before drawing it back up to his lips.
“So...is that really why you give the blowjobs? And handjobs and...whatever.”
Remus had to abruptly halt the line of thinking about what other sorts of
services Sirius might render. “For cigarette money?”
Sirius' eyes slid sideways over to Remus again, but he looked away before
shrugging one shoulder awkwardly. “Yeah. 'Course.”
Even though Sirius' behavior was suspicious, and he knew that couldn't possibly
be the only motivation behind Sirius'...promiscuity...Remus let the issue drop.
He wasn't there to pry into the other boy's life, after all.
They sneaked back into their cabin just as the counselors started their wake-up
rounds for breakfast.


***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Summary
     Remus and Sirius play some sports to improve their masculinity.
A bead of sweat ran down Sirius' leg, zig-zagging in the groves behind his
knee, before sliding down the long, lean muscle of his calf and disappearing
into his sock. Another bead started the same journey, originating somewhere
beneath the bright red gym shorts he was wearing. The waistband was looped over
itself once, making them shorter and sit higher on his already sinfully exposed
thighs. The yellow vest he was wearing was cut up, revealing far too much of
his chest, arms, and clavicle. Another bead of sweat started rolling down his
throat, into the hollow of that jutting clavicle bone.
Remus' mouth was hanging open. His legs were splayed in a stretch, but he had
forgotten long minutes ago that he was actually supposed to be stretching. His
mind was lost somewhere in Sirius' gym shorts.
A flick of black hair and flash of grey eyes, and Remus was staring Sirius in
the face. “See something you like?”
Remus fell backwards, legs pulling at wrong angles. He groaned, clutching his
groin as tendons protested the overextension.
“Have trouble with your groin? Need any help?”
Remus scrambled away from Sirius' groping hands, wincing as he stood up. “It's
fine! Fine. Just...overdid the stretching...”
Sirius snorted, but whatever response he might have had was cut short by the
camp counselor in charge of sports – Camp Counselor Mitchell – clapping his
hands together three times.
“Alright, campers! Today, we are going to try and reclaim our masculinity by
good, healthy competition and sport. In your life, you'll have to learn how to
work with others, and by yourself, so we have two different sports for today:
track and field, and cricket. In track and field, you will learn how to use
your powerful, male bodies as tools against other men. They are-”
Remus stopped listening around the phrase “powerful, male bodies”. Now all he
could focus on was Sirius, bending over and touching his toes. His arse...like
a ripe peach...Remus shook his head viciously and glanced around him. Most of
the other boys seemed to be thinking the same thing as him – some with Sirius
as the focus of their lusty gaze, some with other boys. Sirius seemed to be the
only boy unaffected by the sight of so many half-naked boys surrounding him, as
he carried on his stretching seemingly unperturbed.
They split up into four groups, one for each lane of the dirt track. Sirius was
just behind him, and Remus thought it might be a blessing that he couldn't
stare at the other boy without being obvious – until Sirius leaned in close and
started whispering into his ear. The overpowering scent of cigarette smoke and
musky sweat made Remus' vision swim for a moment.
“Ready to use your powerful male body, Remus?”
Remus pushed an elbow back, nudging at Sirius. The other boy just switched to
the other side, pressing his body even closer to Remus'. “But Remus-dear,” he
whined, “I want to see your tool being used on me. Come on...”
“Remus! You're up, let's go!”
Nudging Sirius away, Remus stepped up to the line and squatted down into a
runner's starting position. He heard Sirius wolf-whistle behind him, but
ignored it. He was actually pretty good at running. Maybe...if he won the
race...Sirius might...
The whistle of the camp counselor started Remus forward like a rocket. For the
blissful few seconds of the hundred meter dash, Remus was able to push all
thoughts of Sirius Black from his mind, and focus on legs pumping, arms moving,
and chest heaving.
Nine seconds later, Remus was gasping through a broad smile. “Best time yet!
Good job, Remus. That's how you focus your masculine energies.”
With a shifty little movement, Remus managed to slide out from under the sweaty
palm of the camp counselor whose name he didn't know yet. Were they seriously
all like that?
A few seconds later, Sirius crossed the finish line in under ten seconds –
though not by much. He glared at Remus playfully, wrapping an arm around his
shoulder and punching him in the arm in one, somehow smooth, motion. “You're
pretty good at running, huh? I'd expect you to be tired.”
Remus blinked, frowning at the odd assumption. “Why?” Abruptly he realized it
must have something to do with their morning hike. “I'm used to walking long
distances on the farm every day, so this morning-”
But Sirius was already speaking again, apparently caught up in his own punch-
line. “I'd expect you to be tired of running, since you've been  running
through my thoughts all night .”
With a sigh, Remus shrugged a cackling Sirius off of him. “Come on, Sirius.
That wasn't even smooth.”
Remus swallowed as they queued up for the next race. Sirius' eyes had gone all
bedroom on him: dark, smokey, and lusty. “Wanna see how smooth I can be?”
“Remus! Get up here! You've got a kilometer to run!”
Ignoring Sirius' baleful eyes and batting eyelashes, Remus started up to the
line, again. This time, he had several long minutes in which he could empty his
mind of Sirius and just focus on keeping his pace.
When he finished his kilometer, Remus stood on the edge of the track and
watched the other boys run as he gulped some water. Sirius was running: long,
loping strides, though not nearly as fast as Remus could run. Still, Sirius in
motion was a thing of beauty. As he drew closer, circling the track, Remus
could see he had a grin on his face – as if running released all the worries
and stress in his life. He would have to revise his opinion of the camp
counselors. Whatever they did and thought they knew, sport was definitely the
sort of release these boys needed. Especially if it made Sirius look that
carefree.
Remus offered Sirius a paper cup of water when he jogged over, finished with
his kilometer. “What was your time?” Sirius finally managed to gasp, after
taking a long swallow.
Remus tore his eyes away from Sirius' adam's apple. “Five thirty, thereabouts.”
“Bugger!” Sirius laughed, clasping Remus on the shoulder and leaning on him
slightly. Remus let him. He was tired from the run, after all. Sirius just
needed someone to support him. “I was seven thirty! How are you so much
faster?”
“Farm life,” Remus mumbled.
With a disbelieving chuckle, Sirius pushed himself off of Remus. Upturning the
cup of water, Sirius shook his head and let the water fall all over his face,
head, and chest. Droplets of water glistened in the sunlight as they rolled
over Sirius' clear skin. Remus might have whited-out, just for a moment.
“-going to show you up, now. Hitting balls with sticks is what I'm an expert
at.”
Remus blinked, taking several deep breaths. Right. They were going to play
cricket next. Remus allowed a grinning Sirius to drag him by his wrist over to
the make-shift cricket field.
Sirius  was  a great deal better at cricket than he was at track and field.
Every time he was up, he knocked the ball far out and went dashing between the
edges of the pitch. Remus was just happy if he could make contact when he was
up.
Afterwards, they were lying sprawled on the cool grass, gulping at water and
flicking it at each other on occasion. After one particularly vicious streak of
cold water poured down the front of his shirt by a cackling Sirius, Remus threw
a leg over him to keep him in place. “Stay down!” he laughed. “Now I know why
James calls you an old dog. Really, he should call you a mangy mutt.”
Sirius laughed and flexed his thigh against Remus' leg in a half-hearted
attempt to escape. “I'm a pure-bred, thanks much. You're the mutt.”
“Sirius! Remus! Appropriate contact!”
Remus abruptly pulled his leg off of Sirius', covering his face guiltily.
“I...I didn't mean...”
“Hey, hey,” Sirius' touch was subtle, and unlikely to be seen by the camp
counselors patrolling the edges of the field. It was just the barest caress of
finger pads over the inside of Remus' wrist. “Those guys are just arses.”
Remus relaxed into the touch, flicking his fingers gently over Sirius' in a
display of mutual reassurance. “Yeah, yeah.” He let his head loll to the side,
examining Sirius through squinting eyes. The incident earlier during stretching
bubbled up to the forefront of his mind: Sirius unselfconsciously touching his
toes while the other boys watched hungrily. “How come...I mean, earlier...I...”
Sirius' kind grin made Remus feel more at ease. Sirius' eyes softened, and
fingers increased the pressure on his wrist. “Whatever it is, I've either heard
it before or done it myself. Nothing you say is going to shock me.” Apparently
realizing how nice he sounded, Sirius scoffed and turned away. “I mean, fucking
been here long enough.”
With Sirius' encouragement, Remus tried again. “Earlier, when we were
stretching, and Counselor Mitchell was talking...all the boys were looking. You
know. At other boys.”
Sirius' slow smile wasn't mocking, but he also didn't hide the leer that was
slowly shaping his features. “Were you looking?”
Remus decided to change tactic, forcing himself to look Sirius in those
piercing grey eyes. “Would I be here if I wasn't?”
Sirius' fingers tightened on Remus' wrist, wrapping all the way around this
time as his thumb stroked slowly over the pale veins beneath the skin. “So you
want to know why I wasn't eye-fucking everyone in sight?” Remus made a little
murmuring noise of confirmation. “Because I've only got eyes for you, Remus-
dear.”
Remus squirmed away from Sirius, but he pulled him back. “ Real  answer,
Sirius.”
Sirius nodded, not loosening his grip on Remus' wrist. He answered without any
more coaxing. “'Cause I've actually done the fucking.” Remus frowned, and
Sirius continued. “Look: I don't have to sit around and gaze longingly at the
other boys, since I actually get action. And don't feel guilty as fuck for
getting it.”
Remus considered this for a moment, rolling it around in his mind. “So the
solution to being gay is to have one off with a guy?”
“Interested?”
With an undignified giggle, Remus pushed Sirius off of him, who was rolling on
top of him and trying to snog the side of his face.
Not a second later, two camp counselors stormed over and pulled the boys apart.
They were assigned another two pages of scripture copying, to be turned in
before dinner.


***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Summary
     Remus gets an eyeful. Sirius helps him out.
Remus sighed, setting down his pencil. He glanced over at Sirius, who had his
head resting on one arm as he lazily copied down lines with the other. “Why are
you even copying lines, this time?”
Sirius' head rolled along his arm until he was peering up at Remus. “Because
they threatened to put me on latrine duty if I didn't. And I know what I've
done in those bathrooms, and I definitely don't want to be the one cleaning
them.”
With a groan Sirius threw down his pencil, looking balefully at Remus. “But now
that you mention it, I could kill for a smoke. And the latrines. See you at
dinner?”
Remus hummed an affirmation, watching out of the corner of his eye as Sirius
grabbed his cigarettes and lighter and headed out. His eyes drifted to the
window, following Sirius as he trudged over to the bathrooms. He could see
another boy heading that direction as well.
Remus bent his head down to the paper in front of him.
**
Sirius wasn't at dinner. Sirius wasn't at dinner, and Remus felt strangely
bereft. Remus' foot was jangling nervously under the table. A few of the other
boys tried to talk to him, but all he could think about was the conspicuous
absence of Sirius.
It wasn't until one of the boys snickered, commenting “Looks like Luscious
wasn't hungry tonight,” and another boy chortled back: “Not for food, at
least,” that Remus sat upright and glanced around. They were right. Lucius was
nowhere to be seen. And neither was Sirius.
Remus practically upturned the picnic table when he stood up. “I...sick...” he
proclaimed. The other boys barely even spared him a second glance as he put his
tray in the cleaning rack and hurried off to the latrines.
To his surprise, Remus found the bathrooms curiously empty, aside from a single
camp counselor. Remus went to the bathroom quickly and hurried out. If Sirius
wasn't there because of the counselor, Remus had no clue what alternate
location he might use. Out of options and unable to return to the dining hall,
Remus decided to go to his cabin. Sirius would turn up, eventually.
Thoughts still on the black-haired boy, Remus swung open the door to his cabin.
Inside was Sirius. Sirius and Lucius. On Sirius' bed. Sirius on his knees,
mouth and hand wrapped around Lucius'...
Remus knew he should move, or speak, or leave, or do something besides standing
there and staring at Lucius lying on the bed, head thrown back and mouth wide
open in pleasure, his blonde hair sticking to the sides of his face. Sirius'
dark head bobbed rhythmically, and Remus blanched at the pornographic slurping
noises that reached his ears.
Though he couldn't recall doing it, Remus must have made a noise, because
Lucius' eyes flew open and Sirius lifted his head lazily, turning toward the
door. When his eyes met Remus', his carefully constructed mask of nonchalance
and cockiness paled, and mouth dropped open. That mouth that had just been
wrapped around Lucius'...
Before Remus could even move, Lucius had pulled up his trousers and raced past
him, out into the evening air. Sirius and Remus were alone in the cabin, both
with their mouths hanging open and eyes unable to look away.
Sirius moved first, crawling on his knees to the edge of the bed. “Remus,
listen, sorry I did it here. The counselor was guarding the bathrooms, and
Lucius was gagging for it, offering me double. I thought you'd be at dinner
another ten minutes, and we would have finished up by then...”
Remus didn't hear a word Sirius said. All he could do was focus on were Sirius'
lips: those swollen, red, lips. Those lips that had just...were just...
Two steps, and Remus was in Sirius' arms, pushing him back onto the bed. There
was a moment of confusion as Remus pressed his lips to Sirius', but in an
instant Sirius' mouth was opening and allowing him access. Their tongues
tangled, and Remus found himself nearly sobbing into Sirius' mouth at how good
it felt, how  right .
Before he knew what was happening, Remus found himself being flipped, and
Sirius' legs straddling him. His shirt disappeared, followed by his jeans.
Sirius was kissing his way down Remus' body, setting  fire  to him, nipping and
licking at his nipples, his ribs, his navel. When Sirius' mouth finally reached
Remus' engorged cock, all he had to do was flick his tongue over the tip before
Remus was coming, harder than any of those guilty, late-night wanks he had
tried on his own.
Senses clearing, the first thing Remus became aware of was the creaking of
Sirius' bed. He blinked, slowly, before managing to summon the effort to look
down. Sirius was jerking himself frantically, free hand gripping Remus' leg
hard enough to bruise. A moment later his entire body stiffened, mouth falling
open as soft exclamations of “Ah – ah!” spilled forth.
The sight of Sirius' come bubbling between his fingers jolted Remus back to
reality, and he scrambled out from under Sirius. Muscles still filled with
lassitude from his orgasm, Sirius frowned over at Remus, who was pulling on
trousers and shirt. “Remi...wait...wait...”
“No!” Remus' face was burning. No: his entire body was on fire from Sirius'
touch. But it shouldn't be, it shouldn't be, he shouldn't be like this, or feel
like this because of a boy...
He didn't realize he had said the last part out loud until Sirius spoke,
reaching out a hand in reassurance. “No, Remus, listen, it's okay. Everyone
else who says it's wrong just doesn't understand. Listen...”
“Get off me! Get off!” Remus slapped Sirius' hand away, falling backwards onto
his bed when a step back pressed his knees up against its edge. “I can't...be
like this.”
“Why not?”
“Because it's fucking sick!”
Remus panted, curled up into a ball and as far into the back corner of his bed
as he could be. Sirius stared back at him with wide eyes, spent cock still
resting on his thigh, for all the world to see. He tore his gaze away.
“It'swrong, Sirius. Paid any attention to those Bible verses we've been
copying? God doesn't want us to be this way. Fucking biology doesn't want us to
be this way. You really think we were built to shove cocks up our arses?”
Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but Remus cut him off with a heated glare. “I
don't want to hear it, Sirius. I'm here to get cured. So stop trying to fuck
with me.”
In a fury, Sirius jumped up and yanked on his jeans. “ Me  fuck with  you ?
Think you have it the other way around,  Remus-dear .” The last words were a
mocking snarl. Remus ignored the way his heart clenched painfully to hear the
former endearment twisted. “When you get your head sorted out, you come to me.
Oh, and don't worry:” Sirius leaned in close, forcing Remus to pull away until
his head bumped into the cabin wall, “no charge, this time.”
When the door slammed behind Sirius, tears began to fall from Remus' eyes. He
snuffled, wiping the back of his hand across them. Sirius was a  boy . And so
was Remus. He had plenty of reasons  not  to cry.
Ignoring the twinge of worry over Sirius being out in the woods as night began
to fall, Remus crawled over to the edge of his bed and grabbed his rucksack,
rummaging through it until he found a bar of chocolate. With another sniff, he
bit into the bar, letting the slightly bitter snack wash away any taste of
Sirius still on his lips.


***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Summary
     Lucius confronts Remus, Sirius defends his honor, and the boys come
     to an understanding(-ish).
The next morning, Remus awoke slow and groggy, blinking in the pre-dawn light.
The taste of old chocolate was still in his mouth and on his lips, and Remus
wrinkled his nose and shifted as he noticed the discarded chocolate wrappers
littering the bed. Behind him, he could hear Sirius shuffling around in the
cabin, but he didn't stir. Just the thought of Sirius made Remus feel sick:
like he wanted to vomit, or scrub his mouth with bleach, or his whole body –
even better. There was no way Remus was going to face him any earlier than he
had to. No reason Remus needed to be reminded of the sickening shame of what
they had done just hours before.
Five minutes, and Remus could feel Sirius pause, turning toward him. There was
a moment when Remus squeezed his eyes shut, absolutely positive that he could
feel  Sirius' hand hovering just above his covers, begging to touch his
shoulder or arm. But then the sensation vanished, and Remus could hear quiet
footsteps over the floor, until the door swung shut and it was quiet again.
Only then did Remus push the covers down, uncurling and lying in the warming
morning air. He ignored his morning erection, although he could feel it sitting
hard and heavy between his legs. There was no way he was going to be able to
wank without thinking of Sirius' tongue, and hands, and  lips ...so he
wouldn't.
Instead, Remus got dressed – shoving his erection to his jeans while grimacing
– and headed out for a quick morning jog before breakfast. Hopefully, if he
could get blood pumping to other areas of his body, it might leave his blasted
penis alone.
**
At breakfast, Remus studiously avoided Sirius' puppy-dog eyes and non-too-
subtle hints for him to join him at his table. He sat as far away as he could,
back to the rest of the mess hall. If he could just  avoid  Sirius, not look at
him for long enough, maybe the feelings would go away. Or at least  lessen .
So absorbed was he in his greasy breakfast and  not  thinking about Sirius,
Remus didn't notice the other boy coming up behind him until there was a hard
shove in the middle of his back. Remus pitched forward, only barely keeping his
face out of his breakfast tray.
“Remus! Get up!”
Shocked, Remus spun around in his seat, coming navel-to-face with an irate
Lucius. Quickly he stood up, bringing himself eye-level with the other boy.
“Where do you get off stealing my whore? I paid good money for that blowjob
yesterday,” Lucius hissed.
Remus felt his face go hot, but he managed to stammer out a response. “I didn't
steal  anyone. I was just going to my cabin; I bunk there, too. It's not
Sirius' private...brothel!”
To his surprise, his perfectly reasonable explanation didn't seem to deter
Lucius. If anything, it made him angrier. “Don't think I don't know what you
two did in there after I left.” A cruel smirk painted Lucius' thin lips. “I was
barely out the door by the time  you  finished, anyway.”
Remus panicked, looking around desperately for a camp counselor to save him.
They were so quick to separate “inappropriate” touching with him and Sirius,
yet with Lucius practically ready to deck him, the adults seemed unconcerned.
A flurry of black hair caught Remus' attention from the corner of his eye, and
suddenly there was Sirius, tackling Lucius to the ground and fists flying.
“You shut your cock-sucking mouth about him, Lucius!” Remus could only stare as
Sirius punctuated every clause with a brutal punch to Lucius' jaw. “You fucking
pretty boy, wouldn't know a real man if he shoved his cock up your arse!”
That  seemed to get the counselors' attention, and there were two of them there
in an instant, pulling a still kicking and hollering Sirius off of Lucius.
“-sniveling piece of shit! You don't know Remus! You're worthless compared to
him! You don't know him!”
To his shock, Remus found a third counselor placing a hand on his shoulder and
escorting him away. “Office. Now.”
A whirlwind of noise and shouting later, and Remus found himself sitting in
front of a stern-looking man, with severe eyes and greying hair. He wasn't sure
where Sirius had been carted off to, but he thought he saw him being led back
to their cabin. Remus wondered how many lines they would make him copy for
this.
The man and Remus stared at each other in silence for long, long seconds. The
man's eyebrows were drawn fiercely together, forming deep furrows in his brow.
Remus dropped his eyes from that gaze, alighting on a nameplate on the front of
his desk: Pastor Philip.
“You've been quite the backslider already, Remus.”
Remus' eyes flickered back up to the man, pleading. The look on the pastor's
face offered no opportunity for argument.
“You question and ridicule our time-tested methods. You cavort around with
Sirius Black, our most open backslider of all. You're caught with your leg over
his during sport before he rolled on top of you; you leave dinner early to do
Heaven knows what, and then you get into a fight with Lucius Malfoy. Just what
exactly are you even doing in this camp?”
Remus opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, trying to find the words. “I...I
don't mean to...I  want  to...”
“Do we need to call your father?”
Every centimeter of Remus' body felt like it had been dipped in freezing water.
His fingers spasmed on the chair, fingernails digging into the soft wood. “No!
No! I'll be good. I promise, I'll try harder. I promise...” his mouth kept
forming the word “promise”, over and over, until the pastor nodded minutely.
“You have one more chance, Remus. One more incident of backsliding, however
minor, and I will have no choice but to call your father.” He paused, eyeing
Remus critically. “I would advise you examine your Exodus more carefully this
afternoon. Copy it all down. And pay close attention to what happens to the
sinners who follow the charismatic Aaron.”
Remus gulped and nodded, scrambling up and out of the chair the moment it
seemed appropriate. Once outside, he found a counselor waiting to guide him
back to his cabin, where he was manhandled inside, the door clacking shut
behind him.
Sirius was already inside, and had leapt to his feet at the sound of Remus
entering. Remus refused to look at him, opting instead to scramble through his
rucksack for another piece of chocolate. He didn't care if Sirius found out
about his secret stash, now.
Remus was silent for a long while as he sat on his bed and munched at the
chocolate bar, refusing to look at Sirius but watching him from the corner of
his eye. The other boy still looked distressed: scuffing his trainers on the
wood floor of the cabin, running his hands through his hair and jangling his
fingers, like he wished he were holding a cigarette. Finally he sat down on his
bed and opened his window, before reaching over to the table and grabbing his
fags. By the click of the zippo Sirius seemed to grow calmer, and by the first
drag all nervous twitches had stopped.
“You know what the worst thing is about these people? Their ideas?”
Remus didn't answer. He assumed Sirius was being rhetorical anyway.
“Their 'masculinity' talk. It's all bullshit. My parents found out I was queer
because I busted another bloke's nose in when he tried to beat up on me. Is he
more masculine than me? Am I not masculine? I'm good at sports, I'm tough, I
like cigarettes and motorbikes and leather jackets. But I like cock, too. Is
who I wanna get one off with the only determining factor in my 'masculinity'?”
Remus didn't answer, opting to play with the edge of his chocolate wrapper.
Sirius seemed to be warming to the topic, going so far as to throw his legs
over the edge of the bed and lean forward, gesturing with his cigarette.
“Conversely, you've got a guy like Pete: bit of girth on him, sucks at sports,
can't get one off with a bird even though he's gagging for it. Is he more
masculine than me? Just because he wants to slap some tits around?”
There was a longer pause this time, and Remus felt himself softening. He
scrapped his teeth along one side of the chocolate bar, tongue flicking at the
chocolate shavings stuck to his teeth. Finally, he whispered: “But what about
me? I don't like sports that much. I want go to uni, and maybe be in research,
or be a writer. I...I've never been that masculine.” Even more quietly: “My dad
says I've always been feminine. A poof.”
Sirius crossed the tiny space in a second, climbing onto Remus' bed and ducking
his head to try and meet his eyes. “First of all, you're definitely
notfeminine.” Remus felt his face grow hot at the implication, and Sirius must
have realized his awkwardness, because he continued on quickly. “But whoever
said masculinity is a good thing, anyway? Why's it better than femininity?
There's lots of cool birds out there, like Marie Curie or old Lizzie or Eleanor
of Aquitaine or...or...Cher!” Remus laughed a little hysterically, chancing a
glance up to meet Sirius' eyes. His mouth was smiling, but his eyes were sad.
“Point is, one sort of person shouldn't be automatically better than another
sort. We're all just...sorts.”
Remus shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips. When Sirius moved, though,
Remus automatically flinched away. It was with sad eyes and a hesitant hand
that Sirius touched Remus' leg briefly, before getting up and going back to his
bed. He flicked his cigarette out the window before shucking off his shirt and
jeans. “I'm just gonna have a kip until they let us out. Just...” he stared
mournfully at Remus, “think about what I said, yeah? I'm not here 'cause I'm
trying to be cured: my parents make me go here. And...I don't think you should
try and get cured either. I don't even think it's something you can be cured
of.”
Remus automatically opened his mouth to protest, but Sirius was holding up a
desperate hand, eyes wide. “Don't try and argue, because I know what you're
going to say. Just promise me you'll think on it. Promise?”
With a nod, Remus replied: “Promise.”
The grin that lit up Sirius' face made Remus' stomach do somersaults and heart
beat wildly in his chest.


***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Summary
     Remus discovers an ulterior motive to Sirius' prostitution.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
A week after the “Lucius incident”, as Remus had mentally labeled it, Sirius
and Remus were returning from one of Sirius' morning treks to visit with James
and Peter. Sirius passed a lit cigarette over to Remus, and with just a
moment's hesitation, Remus took it. His father had smoked, after all: it wasn't
like it was a foreign experience for him. Next to him, Sirius lit another
cigarette for himself. Their shoulders bumped as they walked – a motion Remus
suspected was slightly intentional on Sirius' part – and Remus tried not to
think about the way Sirius' lips had been pulled tight around the cigarette now
in his own mouth.
They sneaked back into their cabin maybe a minute before the morning counselor
came around, knocking on their door. Sirius answered it: shirt off, jeans
unbuttoned, and cigarette dangling loosely from his mouth. The counselor's eyes
refused to leave the trail of hair starting at Sirius' navel and drifting
downward. Sitting on the bed behind him, Remus smirked. Sirius was always
trying to rile up the counselors. Probably some misguided crusade to get them
all to be open with themselves.
Remus had to admit: Sirius Black strutting around half-naked was probably an
effective means to that end.
“Get dressed. It's six thirty,” the counselor finally growled, eyes only
leaving Sirius' groin when he turned to move on to the next cabin.
When Sirius turned back to Remus, they shared a grin. Remus' eyes flickered
down to Sirius' chest on their own, and the grin turned awkward. He turned
away, though not before catching a little flicker of longing on Sirius' face.
“You know...” Remus tensed as Sirius spoke, shuffling through his rucksack for
a little bite of chocolate before breakfast. “James could get you stuff if you
wanted. Chocolate, or magazines or something.” There was another moment of
hesitation before Sirius hurried on: “I'd let you use the magazine I've got for
free, you know. If you ever wanted-”
“I don't need a magazine to wank, Sirius.” Remus turned back to him, eyes
flickering awkwardly down to Sirius' bare chest again. “And I wouldn't use
pictures of guys if I did. You know that.”
“Yeah.” Sirius looked crestfallen. “Yeah. I know.”
“Besides, I don't have any money,” Remus continued, trying to lighten the mood.
“And I don't much feel like copying your business model, if you know what I
mean.”
“I could lend you some! Really, if you want anything, just tell James. I'll pay
for anything you want: even titty magazines.”
“I don't need anything, Sirius!” Remus dropped his gnawed bar of chocolate back
into his rucksack and kicked it under the bed. When Sirius sat down quietly on
his own, looking despondent as he stared at his trainers and scuffed them
slowly over the floor, Remus leaned toward him. “Hey, sorry. It's nice of you
to offer – really. But you don't need me stealing your cigarette money, anyway.
You work hard enough to get it.”
It was just the tiniest jerk of his hand and guilty flicker in his downcast
eyes that made Remus pause and look carefully at Sirius.
“You...” Remus' mind was drawing a blank as to what Sirius was keeping from
him. “What is it?”
Silently, and without looking up at him, Sirius slid off his bunk and down to
the loose floorboard. Carefully he pried it up with tobacco-stained fingers,
and withdrew a handful of crumpled pound notes. Then another handful. And
another. By the time he had extracted all the money he had secreted away, there
was well over two hundred pounds in notes and coins lying around the cabin
floor.
Remus could only ask one question. “But...why?”
Sirius' fingers fiddled with the cracks in the wood floor, fingernails flicking
at the little uneven seams between the pieces of wood. “Dunno. I...I like it,
and I had money, but I wanted more, and my parents keep sending me here, and I
need to get action somehow, and...” Sirius finally raised his eyes and stared
mournfully up at Remus. “I...I kind of...dunno. I just thought of it one day
and...I do it.”
Remus slid off his bunk to join Sirius on the floor. Hesitating for just a
moment, he put his hand out, touching Sirius gently on his thigh. Lacking
Remus' uncertainty, Sirius put his hand over Remus' and squeezed it tight. "But
isn't it humiliating?"
Sirius shrugged, shaking his head. "No. I said I like cock, and I meant it.
Plus..." the_smile_Sirius_gave_Remus_might_have_been_shy,_if_it_weren't_for_the
leer_that_underscored_it,_"it's_kind_of_hot:_that_it's_all_dirty._You_know._The
wrongness_makes_it_hot."
Remus blushed and looked down and away. He didn't need to think about what
aroused Sirius. "Why not just do it for free, then? Why charge?"
Sirius seemed to really consider this, as his thumb stroked slowly over Remus'
knuckles. Remus shivered a little under the assault, but kept his hand
carefully in place. His fingers twitched beneath Sirius', and he tried
desperately to control the little involuntary reflex. Finally, right when Remus
was considering moving his hand to save himself the embarrassment, Sirius spoke
up.
"Well, I wouldn't get as much action if I didn't, I figure.” He continued
before Remus could respond. “'Cause, it's more acceptable in their heads to
have one off with a rentboy than just another boy. With a rentboy, it's more
like a business transaction, or service industry or something. Like they're
just taking care of a biological function like eating, and it doesn't matter if
I were a bird or bloke. At least, that's what they can tell themselves when
they pay for it. So by asking money, I guarantee more chances to have one off
with the other boys around camp.”
“It's not...” Remus dropped his voice to a whisper, even though they were alone
in their little cabin, “your parents? To upset them?”
Sirius laughed dryly at that. “Well, there's that, too. When word gets back to
them about how I'm doing, it really sticks in their craw to hear that I'm
giving two pound blowjobs in the loo.”
“There aren't consequences? When you go back home?”
Without another word Sirius took hold of Remus' shirt and tugged it up,
revealing old yellow bruising along his ribs. Remus yanked the shirt down,
looking away. “No,” Sirius murmured. “Not...not like that.”
“If you hadn't made me take my shirt off to go swimming...”
“I would never have known,” Sirius finished for him. Their eyes locked, and
Remus knew that where he considered the possibility of Sirius not knowing about
his parents a positive, Sirius saw it as a detestable option.
His fingers, still lingering on Remus' shirt, skittered over the scarred and
bruised skin, rubbing lightly at the old injuries. Remus' stomach and cock
twitched before he pushed away from Sirius, climbing back up to his bed. Before
he knew what was happening, Sirius was leaping to his feet and into Remus' lap,
cupping his face earnestly in both hands. “I'd stop for you,” he declared.
“If...if you wanted to be with me, I'd stop all the nonsense. And I'd protect
you. From everybody.”
Remus' eyes watered as he stared into the intensely open expression on Sirius'
face. His thumbs slowly stroked over Remus' cheeks, and Remus had to close his
eyes – against the onslaught of emotions, against seeing Sirius, against his
touch against his skin.
His eyes flew open when he felt Sirius' lips press gently against his. The
touch of lips against lips was barely there – more asking permission than
actually kissing. With a shudder Remus let his mouth slacken and jaw tilt up,
and Sirius took it as permission to actually kiss him.
Sirius' lips against his sent shivers all through Remus' system, making his
head swim and legs tingle. Sirius' arms wrapping securely around his back,
tugging him in and holding him close, made Remus moan plaintively, mouth
opening to Sirius' talented tongue. As they kissed, Sirius began to move, hips
exerting just the barest, repeated pressure on his. It was next to nothing, but
it was enough to make arousal coil tight in Remus' groin, and erection flare to
life.
He pushed Sirius away with a gasp, shaking his head. “I can't. I can't, I
can't,” he whispered.
Sirius' disappointment was palpable, but he nodded one tiny, little time,
before pressing his forehead to Remus'. “It's not wrong,” he murmured with his
eyes closed, almost as if he were talking to himself. He moved his head and
their noses bumped, sending another little shiver down Remus' spine. “It's
right, and we both want it, and our parents and the counselors are just a bunch
of repressed arseholes who probably say a rosary after every wet dream.”
A strangled sob of a laugh bubbled its way out of Remus' chest at that. “I
think rosaries are just for Catholics, Sirius.”
“Whatever.”
With a sigh – and against every screaming filament in his body – Remus nudged
at Sirius. “Get off. I need to... calm down... before breakfast.”
Obediently Sirius slid off Remus' lap. He tried for a leer, though his heart
was obviously not into it. “One quid and I could help you take care of that.”
The two boys smiled sadly at the bad joke. “Go to breakfast, Sirius. I'll meet
you there.”
Sirius pulled on his shirt, then stood in the center of the room, leaning from
foot to foot indecisively. “Keep thinking on it?” His voice raised in hopeful
inquiry.
Remus nodded back. “I know.”
The moment the door swung shut behind Sirius, Remus crawled under his covers
and shoved his hand down his trousers. As he jerked himself rough and hard, he
didn't even try to keep grey eyes and long, black hair from his mind. Visions
of Sirius' head bobbing above his groin and red lips wrapped tight around his
cock filled the dark space behind Remus' eyes as he came, shuddering and
sighing, Sirius' name on his lips.


Chapter End Notes
     If you didn't click on the link in the text, here it is again: Art
     for_this_chapter courtesy
     [[info]]
myprettycabinet .
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Summary
     Remus' parents send him to a Christian camp designed to help him
     control his “Same Sex Attraction”. Once there, Remus finds himself
     rooming with the devilishly handsome bad-boy, Sirius Black. Will he
     give in to temptation? Could the attraction he feels for Sirius be
     more than physical? Non-Magical 1970s AURemus and Sirius get in
     trouble; Remus' dad shows up; Remus needs Sirius.
When they stormed into their cabin after dinner, Remus was lying stomach down
on his bed, flipping through one of the Bibles available in every room. Sirius
was on his back, smoking casually with one leg and arm draped out the open
window. Remus later found he couldn't even recall what they were talking about:
James' obsession with Evans, the latest kilometer times, or how Lucius' nose
was just now returning to normal. Whatever it was, it didn't really matter.
“Stay where you are!”
Remus jumped almost a meter in the air, turning over and staring as three
counselors burst into their cabin. Counselor Martin was at the head of them.
Sirius reacted more cooly: taking one last drag at his cigarette before
flicking it out the window. “Time for another raid, is it, Martin?”
Martin didn't reply, instead gesturing to the two other counselors to search
the floor and under their mattress. Sirius and Remus were grabbed and
manhandled outside, where a fourth counselor watched over them. Sirius threw
himself down onto the front step, sighing rather dramatically. To his dismay,
Remus found he couldn't join him: Pastor Philip had warned that one more
infraction would result in his parents being called in. For all his mental
uncertainty over his sexuality, Remus had been careful to be on his best
behavior in front of the counselors. Remus shifted nervously, eyes focused on
the cabin door.
A minute later Martin strode out, magazine clutched triumphantly in one hand.
“What exactly do you call  this ?” He continued before Sirius could shoot back
some smart-arse response. “Because I call it temptation! Filth! Degradation!”
His eyes stopped on Remus'. “I think Pastor Philip would be interested to hear
about this newest incidence of backsliding.”
Remus froze with fear, eyes wide and body trembling. Ever-ready to come to his
rescue, Sirius leapt up, positioning himself between Remus and Counselor
Martin. “Take me in to see Phil. It's not Remus' magazine – he didn't even know
about it.” When Counselor Martin appeared unmoved, Sirius stepped close,
pressing the issue. “Look at him: he's too scared to try something like this.”
When Counselor Martin's expression seemed to soften, Sirius leaned in even
closer, lips almost touching the counselor's ear. “Let Remus off, and I'll make
it worth your while.”
Face contorting into something terrifying and with a desperate roar, Counselor
Martin shoved Sirius back into the arms of another counselor. “Pastor Philip!
Both of you! Now!”
Remus ignored the apologetic and concerned looks Sirius kept shooting him as
they were frog-marched across the camp and to the main offices. Right now, he
was so paralyzed with fear he could barely spare a thought for the other boy
marching next to him. They were going to call his parents. His dad would show
up, and...and...
Would they put them in their own room? Could they do that: just leave him and
his dad alone in a room together? Or would they send him home? Maybe...maybe
the camp would protect him. Only let his dad yell at him. Of course, there
would still be consequences when he went home: there always were.
Sirius was dragged into Pastor Philip's office first, while Remus waited
outside under the watchful eye of two counselors. There were the sounds of
shouting and chair legs scraping across wooden floors for all of five minutes,
and then Sirius was being dragged out. “Remus, listen, I tried. Just tell them
you didn't know about the magazine. Please, Remus...”
Wide, terrified eyes flicked to Sirius' desperate grey ones as the two boys
were hauled past each other. For an instant Remus was overcome by the urge to
rush into Sirius' arms, to bury his face in his neck and never, ever leave. But
the counselors were hauling at both of them, and their eye contact broke as
Remus was pushed into Pastor Philip's office.
The Pastor stared stonily at him, and Remus blurted out the first thing in his
mind. “Don't call my dad.”
For a long, long moment, the pastor just stared at Remus beneath thick eyebrows
and etched-in furrows. Finally, he unclasped his hands and spoke. “I told you
last time: one more infraction, and your parents would have to be notified of
your backsliding.  This  is one more infraction.”
“I didn't know,” Remus whispered. He knew it wouldn't do any good, but he had
to try and use Sirius' excuse.
“You knew.”
Remus couldn't argue in the face of such faith-based certainty. He watched –
desperate tears pouring down his face – as Pastor Philip picked up his phone
and dialed his parents' number. The blood rushing through his ears at two
hundred decibels prevented Remus from hearing any of the conversation, but he
knew by the look on Pastor Philip's face as he hung up the phone what had been
said.
“Your father will be here tonight.”
Back outside, Remus couldn't even see Sirius waving or hear him hollering. All
he could focus on was the dirt road leading into the camp, and the knowledge
that his father would be driving up in just a couple of hours.
He felt like he was going to be sick.
Back in their cabin, minus one wank magazine, Sirius kept trying to speak to
him. Remus curled up on his bed and faced the wall, unable to move or speak or
do anything as he waited for the hours to pass. After an hour, Sirius gave up
trying to talk to him, and crawled into bed with Remus. He threw an arm over
the catatonic boy, pulling him close. Remus let him. He might as well enjoy
this last bit of contact while he could.
When Counselor Martin came and got him, Sirius was back in his own bed and
Remus was still curled up, facing the wall. Lacking any other options, Remus
started following Counselor Martin on the short walk to the main offices. His
family car was in the dirt road.
For just a moment upon entering the meeting room, Remus felt a small flare of
hope. Maybe Counselor Martin would stay in the room with them, and then his dad
wouldn't do anything. As Martin pulled the door close, Remus felt the last of
his hope leave him. He turned to the irate face of his father.
“Dad...”
**
Remus limped back to his cabin. To his surprise he felt... different  from how
he normally felt after his and his dad's “talks”. Normally he was upset,
disappointed, and scared – terrified, really. Now, he felt  angry . He wanted
to kick and punch and scream at the top of his lungs about how ridiculous and
stupid  this whole thing was. He wanted to scratch and bite and...
He slammed open the door to their cabin, spotting Sirius sitting crossed-leg on
Remus' bed.
Remus suddenly had a new idea as to what he felt like doing.
Without another word he stalked over to his bed, crossing the length of the
cabin in just a few long strides. Sirius' eyes were concerned as Remus gripped
his shoulders, then grew wide as Remus pushed him back and climbed on top.
“Remus, what-” was all Sirius managed to get out before Remus was kissing him,
shoving his tongue in Sirius' mouth and nipping at his lower lip. Sirius
responded instantly, bringing his hands up to frame Remus' face and and kissing
him back.
Remus lifted his head and scraped his teeth down Sirius' jaw, like he might an
expensive bar of chocolate. Sirius moaned and writhed beneath him, body arching
to Remus' touch. Barely understanding of what he was doing himself, Remus tore
at Sirius' jeans until he wrapped one long-fingered hand around Sirius' cock.
Sirius yelped, eyes flying open at the rapid escalation.
“Remus, wait. What...ohhh...” Sirius' eyes squeezed shut as he bucked
helplessly into Remus' hand. With a grunt of frustration Remus released him,
tearing at his own trousers with both hands until they were both naked from the
waist down. Gripping them both in a single hand, Remus sighed and panted as he
jerked them together. Slick, heated skin rubbed against its twin, causing Remus
to shudder with pleasure at the sensation.
Beneath him, Sirius looked like a bug pinned to a board: all writhing, jerky
movements, entirely given over to Remus' control. Remus ducked his head down to
capture Sirius' lips in another kiss. He grunted in surprise when he felt
Sirius' hand go to tangle in his short hair, pulling their lips closer together
in desperation. Their hips moved together as Remus continued to jerk them
closer and closer to orgasm.
With a gasp Remus pulled away from Sirius, tucking his face into the other
boys' neck. He was close – so, so close. He could feel himself teetering just
on the edge, orgasm pressing at his insides, begging for release. Sirius' other
hand was skittering across his body, touching at every piece of flesh he could
find. As those bitten-off nails dug into Remus' arse and  squeezed , Remus
found himself falling over the edge, orgasm flaring out from him and onto
Sirius' stomach.
As Remus' body twitched and arched against Sirius', he felt Sirius' hand wrap
around his and help jerk the other boy to completion. Sirius' moan was loud and
long, hand clenching spasmodically at Remus' arse. Their come mixed on their
stomachs as Remus collapsed against Sirius.
The high tide from his orgasm rapidly receding, Remus groaned as the aches and
pains of real life returned. He tried to roll off of Sirius, only to collapse
in a painful sprawl on his side. Sirius was there in an instant, orgasm-glazed
eyes managing to blink slowly in concern.
“Remus, are you hurt? Did he...”
Remus tried to shy away, but Sirius was already plucking at his shirt, lifting
it carefully up over Remus' arms and head. The whisper of the material falling
to the ground almost covered Sirius' soft gasp upon seeing Remus' torso laid
bare. “Remus...”
Helplessly Remus tried to cover himself with his arms, only to have Sirius
gently pry them away. He cracked open an eye, to see Sirius gazing down
mournfully at Remus' chest. Remus glanced down himself, only to look away a
moment later. Most of his body was red from the beating, but it was also mostly
in areas that wouldn't bruise: his stomach and sides. At least, wouldn't
visibly bruise. His ribs however were re-injured, and he knew there'd be purple
bruises by morning there.
“Roll over. If...if it doesn't hurt too...”
Compliant – due to orgasm, or Sirius' quiet concern, Remus didn't know – Remus
rolled onto his stomach, lowering himself with a wince. He heard Sirius draw in
another breath, fingers ghosting over the welts that Remus knew crisscrossed
his back. “It's...” Remus started, swallowing thickly. “It's not as bad as it
looks.”
Remus jumped at the feel of Sirius' lips pressing just above one of the worst
welts, then relaxed as he continued to pepper his back with carefully-placed
kisses. “No,” Sirius murmured. “It's worse.”
Remus' felt his eyes sting with tears as he buried his face in his pillow.
“Turn off the lights,” he whispered. With just a little bit of leaning, Sirius
managed to flick off the two bedside lamps. To his surprise, rather than
returning to his own bed, Sirius carefully maneuvered them both under the
covers of Remus' tiny camp bed. Safely surrounded by the thick blanket of
darkness, Remus allowed himself to turn his head and glance at Sirius from
beneath a fringe of brown locks. Sirius' big eyes looked almost black in the
dim light. He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss to Remus' lips.
“I said I'd protect you,” Sirius whispered, voice cracking.
“You can't protect me from this. From him.”
“Yes I can.” Remus shifted as Sirius wrapped a careful arm around him, pulling
their bodies closer together. “I can protect you from anything, Remus. And I
will.” Remus felt his eyes growing heavy in the darkness: his orgasm and
beatings finally creeping up on him in the form of an undeniable exhaustion.
“You'll see, Remus. I'm going to find a way,” Sirius' voice was growing more
indistinct as Remus found himself drifting to sleep, “I'm going take us away,
and find a way to keep all these arseholes away from us. No one is going to
hurt you again.”


***** Chapter 9 *****
Chapter Summary
     Remus decides he's probably okay with this whole gay thing; Sirius
     gets a mysterious paper bag from James.
The next morning, Remus had a moment of blissful happiness upon awakening,
before the aches and pains set in. “Ow,” he whispered as he rolled onto his
back. Between one blink and the next, Sirius' face was hovering over his,
gazing concernedly down at him.
“Are you okay? Do you need... what do you need?”
For one moment, Remus' stomach flipped sickeningly at the thought of what they
had done the night before. His hands on Sirius, Sirius' lips on his... Remus
shook himself quietly in the face of Sirius' earnestness.
Soft fingers brushed at his hair. “Are you okay?” he asked again.
Remus took a breath, trying to make sense of the myriad of emotions running
through him. Sirius' sincere concern – and the way Remus' breath caught and
heart ached staring up at his face – made the decision for him. He nodded.
“Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.” Sirius' expression was skeptical, so Remus smiled and
returned the gesture: reaching up and threading his fingers through Sirius'
silken hair. “I'm okay, really.”
Sirius' eyes turned mischievous. “Okay enough for a morning snog?”
Mock-considering, Remus narrowed his eyes. “Maybe...just a little one.”
When Sirius' lips pressed against his, Remus sighed, opening his mouth to him.
At the first touch of tongues, Remus pulled away, wrinkling his nose. “Morning
breath.”
Sirius laughed, bumping their noses together before pressing a kiss to Remus'
forehead. “Okay: no more snogging until after brushed teeth.”
Gingerly Remus lifted himself from the bed, stretching and get a feel for range
of movement. His bruises ached more than the day before, now that they had set
for a night. Sirius helped him get into his trousers and trainers, while at the
same time trying not to be overbearing: hovering by Remus' bed, then backing up
to his and fiddling with the bedsheets. Remus frowned as he saw a glint of
silver under Sirius' pillow. “What's that?”
Sirius turned to follow Remus' gaze, then blushed. He tugged the chocolate
wrapper from under his pillow and held it out to Remus. “You're out of
chocolate. I wanted to make sure I knew your favorite brand. You saved this one
for last, so I figured...”
Now it was Remus' turn to blush and look down. No one had ever taken that sort
of interest in him before. He didn't even think his mom knew his favorite brand
of chocolate. But Sirius had figured it out just by watching him for a few
weeks.
They walked to the latrines together, shoulders brushing as they did. Briefly
Remus was overcome with the urge to hold Sirius' hand, but seeing the
counselors beginning to waken, quickly stamped out the emotion. As they brushed
their teeth, Remus kept seeing Sirius' eyes flicker to him in the mirror. On
the third or fourth time, Remus caught his eyes and held them in the mirror.
The boys grinned around their toothbrushes.
“I thought,” Sirius wiped at the back of his mouth after spitting into the
sink, “I thought you might freak out. It was sort of your first time, I mean,
except...”
Remus blinked and shook his head, before spitting into the sinking. “No it
wasn't.”
“What?”
“Why do you think I'm here in the first place?”
Sirius leaned forward, puzzled. Remus took the opportunity to hop up onto the
counter next to the sink. He held out his hand, and Sirius stepped easily
between his legs, hands rubbing at Remus' thighs. “I thought you snogged
someone, but...”
“I had a... we... you know.” Remus couldn't meet Sirius' eyes. “Off. Together.”
Visions of a warm spring day and a newly-melted creek flashed through Remus'
mind. Their teeth were chattering from dipping into the still too-cold water,
but their bodies heated against each other. Afterward, they had been so warm
and languid that they didn't move, preferring to bask in the glow of their
youthful happiness.
Remus' father had come across them a few minutes later.
“How much did you...”
“Just that.” Remus smiled at him. “Just the once. And it was just... rutting.
You know.”
“So you've never done...”
“Anything else.”
Sirius' eyes took on a wicked glint. His hands moved more firmly of Remus'
thighs, rubbing and kneading at the muscles there. “Wanna try something else
right now?”
Remus' breath quickened as he watched Sirius' fingers walk their way up his
thighs and to his belt. His eyes were wide, and completely focused on Sirius'
lips, which the other boy licked lasciviously. Oh.  Oh .
“Hey Sirius. Hey Remus.” Remus jumped in his seat, pressing back against the
mirror. Sirius didn't move from out from between Remus' legs, though his hands
dropped from Remus' thighs to his sides. John was holding his bathroom kit
awkwardly in the doorway. “Um... should I... come... back?”
Remus made the decision for the both of them, sliding off the counter and
pushing Sirius gently away from him. “No, no. Sorry, John. We were just
finishing up.”
Sirius' hand slipped into Remus' just before they left the bathrooms. The soft
squeeze before his hand was released made Remus feel warm inside for the rest
of the day – aching ribs and stinging back relegated to a back corner of his
mind in deference to that feeling.
**
Remus marveled at the sensation of Sirius' hand in his. As they walked through
the forest in the pre-dawn light, he grinned at the feel of Sirius rubbing his
thumb against his knuckles, and the way their arms swung in tandem. He had
never done this before: walked while holding a boy's hand. He chanced a glance
over at Sirius, who he was pleased to see was staring right back at him,
equally large grin on his face.
“We're two big saps, aren't we?” Sirius joked.
A third voice floated down to them from the top of a ridge. “More like a pair
of old queens!”
Sirius grinned as he squinted up the ridge. Peter and James were just crossing
it, starting on the downward slope.
Suddenly feeling awkward under the gaze of the other two boys, Remus extracted
his hand from Sirius', shooting him an apologetic look. Sirius' expression
saddened for a moment, but he smiled reassuringly back at Remus. He understood.
As Peter and James drew closer, Remus noticed that Peter was carrying a paper
grocery bag, tucked under one arm. Two packs of cigarettes and some lighter
fluid – Sirius' usual order – shouldn't require a paper bag. Even a wank
magazine to replace the one the counselors confiscated wouldn't require one.
Sirius beat Remus to it, snatching the bag from Peter and rummaging through it,
before rolling it shut with a satisfied smile. Remus shot him a look, but
Sirius just smiled back secretively and winked. So it was something Remus would
find about later, then.
“How you two old queens doing, anyway?” James gave them a knowing look before
turning to Remus. “He treating you right?”
Remus shrugged, blushing and looking away. What he and Sirius did was still new
to him – it made him skittish to have anyone else to have even the vaguest
knowledge of it.
Sirius, thankfully, spoke up for him. “Bugger off, James.”
“That's your and your new boyfriend's job, isn't it?”
Sirius stuck out his tongue and flipped two fingers at James, who perfectly
imitated expression and gesture.
Remus coughed and nodded to Peter. “How are things?”
Peter shrugged. “Swear this camp is my parents' way of killing me slowly. They
tried to get me to run  five kilometers  yesterday. I told them they could
shove their five-k up their arses.”
Butting in on the conversation, James wrapped an arm around Peter's shoulders.
“Yeah. If by 'told them to shove it' you mean 'ran the first kilometer, then
collapsed and got out of running the rest'.” He looked at Remus. “D'you need
anything? Sirius said he'd pay, and I could get you snacks or drinks or books
or something. Sirius tells me you like to read: could get you some Tolkein or
something?”
Remus shook his head. His eyes caught Sirius' and he smiled gratefully. The
fact that Sirius had been talking to James about his interests sent a little
thrill of happiness through him. “I'm fine. Sirius does enough for me: I can't
have him buying me books and the like, too.”
“Does enough for you, hm?” James turned to Sirius with eyebrows raised. “You do
enough for Remus, do you? Keeping him satisfied?”
“Oi! Just because you can't get any action from that Evans bird doesn't mean
you get to make fun of blokes who can.” Abruptly Remus found himself being
pulled into a hug, squeezed close to Sirius' side. “Remus and I keep each other
satisfied, thanks much.”
Mortified, Remus shoved at Sirius, straightening his shirt from where it had
hitched up, and doing his best not to make eye contact with the other boys.
“We... we haven't...”
James nodded knowingly, giving Sirius a mock-sympathetic look. “Ah, I see.
Haven't managed to dock your cock, have you yet? I suppose Remus hasn't seen it
yet, then: if he had, he'd know there's nothing to be afraid of.”
With a growl Sirius jumped James, and the two boys fell into a wrestling match
on the ground. Peter leaned against a tree, stretching his legs and groaning.
“Have you ever run a five k? It's murder.”
Remus shrugged, still embarrassed over James and Sirius' exchange. “Run a lot
on the farm I'm from. Doesn't really bother me.”
To Remus' surprise, Sirius had apparently lunged at James not in defense of his
manhood, but for Remus' own honor. “Shut your mouth about him, James Potter!
Our love life is none of your business, right? Say it!”
With his face in the dirt, arms pulled behind his back, and teenage boy sitting
on top of him, James had little choice but to comply. “Alright, alright! Remus
and yours love life is none of my business. Geeze.” Sirius let him up, then,
shoving his head into the dirt one last time for good measure. As James stood
up, taking off his glasses and cleaning them on his shirt, he grumbled: “Didn't
know you two were in  love . Blimey.”
Remus could tell Sirius heard it, too, because he tensed suddenly. Remus
thought Sirius might try and jump James again, but he relaxed after a moment of
indecision, moving to stand closer to Remus. “Alright?”
Remus nodded. “Fine. No worries. I know James is just messing with us.”
Sirius' hand found Remus' and gave it a quick squeeze. “Yeah, but I know you're
still nervous about... you know. All this.”
“Honestly, I'm fine.” Remus smiled reassuringly at Sirius. “Though, we should
probably head back now. I don't need another run-in with the counselors.”
Sirius' face darkened at that. Turning to James, he pressed some money into his
hands and grabbed his cigarettes. The two boys batted at each other good-
naturedly, and Remus instinctively knew all was forgiven between them. They
said their goodbye's, before both pairs of boys started off in opposite
directions to their own camps.
When they got back to their cabin, Sirius immediately slid the paper bag under
his bed. Remus frowned, nodding at it. “Aren't you going to tell me what it
is?”
Excited grin on his face, Sirius sidled close to Remus, wrapping his arms
around his waist and pulling him in. “If I promise you'll love it, and find out
tonight, will you wait?”
Remus' stomach flipped at the possibilities. It was too big of a bag from just
a simple tube of KY, though that could certainly be  one  item among many. His
eyes widened as Sirius waggled his eyebrows at him. “O-” Remus had to stop and
swallow thickly, so his voice wasn't a croak. “Okay. Sure.”
They had to leap apart when the counselor knocked on the door and walked in for
morning wake-up. Remus was sure his lips were visibly kiss-swollen, and his
face was certainly beet-red. The counselor looked between them, but said
nothing besides the time and that they should get ready for breakfast. Remus
had to stifle a giggle as Sirius took him into his arms the moment the door
slammed shut.
“We've got a whole half hour...”
Remus' bed protested loudly beneath the weight of two teenage boys collapsing
onto it.


***** Chapter 10 *****
Chapter Summary
     We find out what was in that paper bag.
That night, Remus was squirming with anticipation. They had finished up their
last activity for the day, and the counselors were calling for lights out
around the cabins, strolling between them for one last check-in. Remus and
Sirius were sitting at their desks, studiously bent over their Bibles when the
counselor came in. He didn't check on what they were writing, just said
goodnight and shut the door. Remus grinned as he tucked away a lewd note Sirius
had just passed him.
“Surprise time?”
Sirius' grin was all the answer Remus needed. Touching at his arm, Sirius
maneuvered Remus to his bed and had him sit and wait, going so far as to make
Remus close his eyes. Remus obeyed, smiling into the kiss Sirius gave him
before he vanished, random sounds from around the cabin Remus' only clue that
he was still there.
He kept his eyes shut for several minutes, listening to the sounds of the paper
bag being rummaged through, then being torn apart. Remus heard Sirius' lighter
go once, and he thought he could feel some soft heat coming from the center of
the room. There was the crinkling of something that sounded like chocolate
wrappers – though Remus couldn't be sure – and some other rustlings from other
containers. Finally, Remus felt Sirius touch his arm lightly. “Okay. Open your
eyes.”
His eyes flickered immediately to the center of the floor, where there was a
soft, flickering light. Sirius had set up a small, portable stove, complete
with a tiny, contained campfire and grill. It looked like something garden
gnomes might use.
The tearing he had heard earlier was the paper bag, which Sirius had torn up
and tacked over the window. Sirius saw Remus looking at it and winked. “So no
curious counselors will interrupt us because they thought there was a fire.”
But the absolute best, best part of the whole thing was what was carefully laid
out next to the campfire, in neat little piles. “S'mores?” Remus gasped and
dropped down to the floor. Sirius joined him, expectantly grinning.
“And it's your favorite type of chocolate.” Sirius proffered the chocolate
wrapper to Remus as proof.
Remus found he could do nothing more than clutch the chocolate wrapper to his
chest, overwhelmed by the gesture. After the silence stretched on too long,
Sirius reached a hesitant hand to him. “Is it... is it alright? I thought...”
“Sirius,” Remus breathed. At a loss for words, he reached out and grabbed
Sirius' extended hand, drawing the other boy to him. They kissed, Sirius making
a pleased little sound in the back of his throat.
“Good, then?” Sirius asked breathlessly. Remus only laughed and nodded back in
response. “Want to get sweet and sticky with me then, Remus?”
Laughing again, Remus snogged Sirius once more for good measure – and because
he  could . Almost reluctantly they pulled apart, Remus glancing down at the
careful stacks of marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate. “I think this
might be the first time in my life I've had difficulty choosing between
chocolate and something else.”
Sirius waggled his eyebrows lewdly, scooting away from Remus on the floor and
reaching for a stick and a marshmallow. “Well, this time you get to have both.
And since I'll keep for another hour, but this fire won't, I vote for chocolate
first, me second.”
With a shy smile, Remus held up one of the –  many  – spare bars of chocolate.
“Could we try both?”
Sirius' mouth was already full of half-baked marshmallow, but he still managed
a sticky grin. “Mmf!”
Ultimately, Remus decided that the s'mores idea was quite an excellent one, and
that he really should have at least  one  normal s'more before he and Sirius
started getting creative with them. Sirius managed to inhale three in the time
it took Remus to carefully construct a single one, though Remus largely
attributed that to Sirius' impatience when it came to roasting marshmallows. He
would hold them in the fire for all of ten seconds before yanking them out and
squeezing them between two graham crackers.
Finished with his one s'more and fingers carefully licked clean (which had
ended up involving a lot more  staring  and  eyes  and  heavy breathing  than
Remus had realized it would incite at first), Remus tugged at one of the spare
bars of chocolate. Gingerly it held it over the small fire, careful to melt one
end and not the other. When half the bar was satisfactorily melty, he curled
one finger at Sirius. “C'mere.”
Sirius was in his lap before he could think twice, staring eagerly at the
chocolate clutched gingerly between Remus' fingers. Uncertain what exactly to
do – it wasn't like he had ever done this before, after all – Remus took a
single chocolate-covered finger and smeared it over Sirius' lips. Sirius – more
practiced and willing to take the lead – leaned in and kissed Remus, letting
him lap at the melted chocolate and spreading it over twining tongues. Remus
moaned happily at the dual sensation. Oh yes. This was an  excellent  idea. Now
he just had to figure out where else he wanted to taste chocolate on Sirius.
“What... where else should I...?”
Sirius, evidently taking this as his cue to end the first part of their date
and begin the second, quickly stamped out their fire and tucked the supplies
out of the way. Next, he whipped his clothes off, until he was lying spread out
and starkers on Remus' bed before Remus even had time to react.
Well, before  most  of Remus had time to react. One part of Remus was reacting
quite rapidly to the sight before him.
“Ung...”
Sirius nodded down at his own chest. “You don't have to do anything you don't
want. But I was thinking you could spread the chocolate around? Chest, nipples,
stomach, bellybutton...” Remus' entire body flushed as Sirius trailed off. His
eyes were following the path Sirius' words were taking him, and he was well-
aware of where that led.
One deep, shuddering breath later, and Remus was crawling on top of Sirius on
the small camp bed. He took a second to set the half-melted chocolate bar down
on Sirius' chest while he quickly shucked his clothes off. Sirius was grinning
up at him, hips shifting on their own as the two boys squirmed against each
other.
Finally Remus was settled snugly on top of Sirius. He picked up the chocolate
bar and began dabbing it on the points Sirius mentioned: his nipples, his
navel. Remus took a moment to make little dots of chocolate in a path between
the three points. Hesitating, Remus glanced shyly down at Sirius' erection. The
chocolate was rapidly cooling, so ultimately it was expediency that forced his
hand: Remus quickly traced a line of chocolate up the underside of Sirius'
cock, before dabbing lightly at the precome on top. Sirius shuddered and
twitched beneath him at the touch, though Remus kept his eyes averted. He was
still a bit embarrassed, even in their state of mutual nudity and arousal.
The used candy bar was discarded over the edge of the bed, and Remus absently
sucked the chocolate off his fingers as he considered the naked, chocolate-
covered boy beneath him. Sirius made a plaintive, whiny noise, nodding at his
fingers. “Let me help with that,” he murmured. Remus' eyes widened at Sirius'
“seduction voice”, and found himself proffering his fingers without question to
Sirius' questing mouth.
The other boy flicked his tongue out first, lapping lightly at the chocolate-
covered fingers before growing more insistent, wrapping his tongue around them
and sucking them into his mouth. Remus' mouth fell open and a moan escaped as
he watched Sirius' cheeks hollow and his red lips purse around his fingers. His
tongue was lapping at the fingers in his mouth, leaving no square millimeter of
flesh un-laved. Remus' head swam with the attention.
Sirius released Remus' fingers gently, licking and kissing at them even as he
allowed them to fall from his mouth. It took Remus a few seconds to remember
where he was and what he was supposed to be doing, but then he was kissing
Sirius, tasting chocolate on his tongue. Remus turned his mouth from Sirius',
focusing on kissing his way down his jaw, neck, and chest. When he reached the
first chocolate-covered nipple, it was after only a moment's pondering that
Remus bent his head and sucked the little nub into his mouth. Sirius hummed
happily, hand going down to tangle in Remus' short brown hair.
Satisfied that the chocolate was gone from one, Remus turned his attention to
the other nipple, sucking and licking at that until it was clean. On instinct,
Remus finished by scraping his teeth gently over the hardened nub. He was
rewarded by a cry from Sirius and his hand tightening in his hair. “'s good,
Remus.”
Following the trail he had made for himself in chocolate, Remus dipped his
tongue into Sirius' navel. The other boy's stomach contracted and rolled
beneath Remus' lips. Fascinated by the response, Remus drew his lips back to
observe the movements. Sirius whined and tugged at his hair playfully.
“Somewhere you want me to be?”
Sirius shot Remus a lusty  look , tugging at his hair again. “If you don't...
want...” Sirius' chest was heaving as he tried to reassure Remus.
Although his stomach flipped and squirmed at the thought of doing to Sirius
what Sirius had already to him multiple times, Remus steeled himself and leaned
down. Hands shaking, Remus placed them on Sirius' thighs to steady himself. His
tongue darted out once, twice, before finally flicking against Sirius' shaft on
the third try. Above him, Sirius groaned. Remus took this as encouragement to
go again, so he pushed his tongue out and licked at the stripe of chocolate he
had painted on the underside of Sirius' erection. He could taste Sirius' skin
beneath the dark, bitter taste of the chocolate. Sirius' groin smelled musky,
and Remus carefully catalogued the differing sensations in his mind.
Growing in confidence – due in large part to Sirius' panting and writing above
him – Remus reached a hand up from Sirius' thighs and gripped at the base of
his erection. Sirius had done this enough times to him that Remus understood
the basics of what to do. With careful precision, Remus lowered his mouth over
the head and moved down.
“Remus,” Sirius hissed, tugging at Remus' hair. He glanced up, frowning. “Cover
your teeth. Like this.” Sirius demonstrated, lips going to cover his teeth in
imitation of an old man.
Remus pulled away and blushed. “Sorry, I'm... sorry. Never done this before...”
Sirius' hand was cool on his cheek as he brushed at the flushed cheekbone
there. “It's alright. I know. Honestly,” Sirius hauled himself up onto his
elbows so he could look down at Remus, “I like that you haven't done a lot of
stuff, 'cause I get to be all sorts of firsts for you.”
Remus swore his face grew even more red, and he glanced down, only to be
confronted by the sight of Sirius' throbbing, veiny penis. Okay, so not the
place to look. He shifted his eyes to the blanket they were lying on. “Is...
was something like that in the bag. Um...” he glanced back up at Sirius before
looking away again. “ Lube ?” he finally managed to whisper.
Sirius laughed and tugged at Remus' shoulder, pulling him up his body. Remus
went willingly, smiling as their bodies fit together so easily. He had begun
rethinking his biological argument against homosexuality: his and Sirius'
bodies always slid together so perfectly, that there was no  way  nature never
intended for this to happen. She certainly hadn't tried very hard to stop them.
“No lube. I figured you wouldn't want to, yet.” He tossed a thumb over his
shoulder jokingly. “Though if you do, I'll go get James right now: run the
whole way there and back.”
Remus shook his head, laughing. Sirius always knew how to make him feel better:
more at ease. “No. I'm... well, nervous. You know.” He frowned, hand
unconsciously stroking at Sirius' thigh. “I heard it hurts. A lot. And there
was tearing and blood. But I don't know what's true and what's, you know: camp
counselors.”
Face gone serious, the other boy nodded. “It can. If you're rough 'n don't care
about the other guy. And if you don't use lube.” Craning his neck, Sirius
placed little kisses to Remus' shoulder and collar bone. “But I'd never hurt
you. The first time, we'll just take it nice and slow. So long as I stretch you
out, you stay relaxed, and I use a lot of lube, it'll be okay.” Sirius nuzzled
his nose against Remus' chest, licking a playful stripe across the smooth skin.
“And I'll make sure you love every minute of it.”
They kissed, and Remus relaxed into it, forgetting about his inadequacies at
blowjobs and nervousness over penetration. He laughed when he felt Sirius'
sticky penis slide over his, glancing down between them to see the chocolate
smearing across their thighs and groins. Sirius glanced down with him,
wrinkling his nose at the sight. “Give it a few months, and you'll be as
grossed out as I am at the way that looks.”
Pondering what he meant, Remus stared down at his groin as Sirius wet a t-shirt
of his and proceeded to clean them off. He supposed the chocolate smeared
around sort of looked like... and he or Sirius would be shoving his cock up...
“Ew! Does that  happen ?!”
Sirius shrugged, tossing the used t-shirt away over his shoulder. “Sometimes, a
little bit. If you're careful...” Sirius stopped upon meeting Remus' horrified
gaze. “Can we talk about the specifics of it all when we actually get around to
it?”
Remus nodded, but mentally he was revising his biological arguments. Nature: 1,
him and Sirius: 1. That bitch.
Sirius' mouth sucking at his collarbone successfully distracted Remus from his
mental tally, and soon their hips were sliding smoothly together, getting
sticky with precome rather than chocolate. Nudging at Remus' chin, Sirius
looked up at him with big eyes. “Turn on your side?”
Remus didn't even ask. He trusted Sirius.
Once on his side, Remus heard Sirius spit into his palm and felt his fist
bumping against Remus' leg as he stroked at his cock. Then Sirius was gently
nudging the head of his erection against Remus' thighs, begging entrance. After
a moment of awkwardness, Remus figured out how to spread his thighs enough for
Sirius to slide in, then squeeze them tightly enough for Sirius enjoy the
friction it caused.
“This is the Greek method,” Sirius murmured against Remus' neck. His lips
pressed little kisses to the short hairs there between sentences. “This way,
it's almost like we're doing it, but we can do this without lube and you won't
get hurt.”
Remus grunted his satisfaction as Sirius slipped a hand over his hip and began
stroking him in time with his thrusts. Feeling Sirius' erection between his
thighs was arousing – exciting, even. It felt like Sirius was so  close  to
having sex with him without taking that final step. Remus whimpered as he
thrust into Sirius' tight fist. It felt good.  Really  good.
Sirius' thrust grew harder and faster, hand tugging in a stuttering rhythm
along with them. Remus' body jerked with every thrust, and he shuddered. He
could imagine this might be how it would be like to have sex, real sex, with
Sirius: thrusting, and grunting, and trembling bodies spiraling closer and
closer toward... Behind him, Sirius made a strangled little choked-off sound,
before Remus felt him stiffen and warm come spread between his thighs. A moment
later, Sirius' hand reached down to dip into the sticky liquid, before wrapping
it around Remus' cock and continuing pumping it. With the added slick, Remus
came a few seconds later, stars bursting behind his eyes as he curled around
Sirius' arm.
As he came down, Remus shifted and turned until he was hugging Sirius tightly
to his chest. Remus felt sleepy and satisfied, and wanted nothing more than to
fall asleep in Sirius' arms. Then they shifted on the bed into a more
comfortable position, and Remus found his thigh pressed down onto a wet spot on
the sheets. “Ew.” Remus twisted and looked down between them, wrinkling his
nose. “Wet spot.”
Sirius was even more boneless than he was, long arms and legs draped around
him. “Nnf.”
“Sirius, come on. I don't want to sleep on the wet spot.”
“S'moof.”
Remus blinked, before coming to the understanding that Sirius meant “So move”.
At least, so Remus could only assume. “No, Sirius, come on: the bed's too
small. And this is gross. I don't want to sleep on top of your come.”
Remus was fairly certain the next sound out of Sirius' mouth was a snore.
“Oh, for...” With a sigh, Remus hauled Sirius into his lap and slid slowly off
the bed, carrying him the one step it took to cross the room to Sirius'
(relatively) fresh, clean bed. In his arms, Sirius made a sound that sounded
suspiciously like a giggle. Remus glared down at him before tossing him onto
his bed. Sirius resolutely kept his eyes closed, moving only to curl himself
around Remus when he crawled into bed beside Sirius. Dry and satisfied, Remus
barely had time to pull the covers up before he fell asleep, head nestled in
the crook of Sirius' shoulder.

***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Summary
     The next morning doesn't dawn so pleasantly.
Languid and happy, Remus snuffled himself into Sirius' neck. He closed his eyes
against the sunlight just coming in through the window and squeezed tighter at
the boy lying next to him. Sirius tightened his grip on Remus in his sleep, and
Remus sighed. He was obscenely comfortable. He couldn't remember what had woken
him, but he was sure it couldn't be more important than lying here with Sirius.
Remus scrambled and cried out as shouting filled the tiny cabin. Hands grappled
at the bedsheets surrounding him, and clothes were flung in his face. In all
the confusion, Remus felt Sirius clawing at him, tugging at his arm, leg, ribs:
whatever he could reach.
“No! No! Don't-”
Two camp counselors bodily dragged Remus from Sirius, standing between the two
boys as they shoved clothes on them. Remus' heart was racing, and he only
managed to glimpse a snatch of hair or piece of tanned skin of Sirius as they
were hauled out the door and toward Pastor Philip's office.
Sirius was still shouting and cursing behind him as they were frog-marched
across the grounds. Remus himself could barely stumble enough to propel his
body forward. Blind panic had taken control of his nervous system, and it was
all he could do to keep his heart from exploding out of his chest and his feet
moving forward. He felt like a rabbit caught in the jaws of a fox: the most he
could do was play dead.
Sirius' shouting was abruptly silenced as he was coerced into Pastor Philip's
office and the door shut tight. Remus found himself bereft in the silence, with
only his fear and one disgusted camp counselor for company. He couldn't tell
how long had passed – a minute? An hour? - before the door swung open, Sirius
running into his chest. “It's all my fault, it's all my fault.”
Remus' arms hung loosely at his sides as Sirius pled desperately into his ear.
“Tell them it was me. Tell them I forced myself on you. That you didn't want
to, but I blackmailed you, or hurt you. You have enough bruises to pretend like
I did. Tell them, Remus. Tell them I hurt you...”
Remus' eyes were full of tears, but he managed to gasp out one sentence as he
was being dragged away from Sirius. “You'd never hurt me.”
**
Pastor Philip's eyes were cold as he assessed Remus. He didn't say a word, just
looked Remus up and down where he stood, shivering and feeling smaller and more
detestable than a smear of grime on a wealthy man's loafers. Coming to a
decision, Pastor Philip picked up his phone and steadily dialed a number. With
every snick of the rotary wheel, Remus winced. It sounded too close to the
snick of a leather belt drawn slowly across his father's palm.
The blood rushing through Remus' ears was so loud he couldn't hear the
conversation Pastor Philip had with his father. Sound only came back with the
click of the receiver back into its cradle, as Pastor Philip's cold eyes turned
their focus back to Remus.
“Your father is coming to pick you up. Pack your things. We expect him by
lunch.”
Remus felt sweaty. Too sweaty. His vision tunneled, until all he could see was
the phone on Pastor Philip's desk. He felt the world rushing at him, and then
everything went black.
**
Remus awoke on his bed – his  own  bed – he wasn't sure how long later. The
sunlight streaming into the cabin window told him it was long after sunup,
sometime mid-morning. Sirius was there, curled up in a ball on his bed.
“Remus?”
Coughs wracked Remus' body, until he found himself heaving up bile in the tiny
bin by their desks. He groaned, face pressed against the rim of the bin. He
never wanted to lift his head again. Never wanted to face his fate, which was
just hours away, if not sooner.
“Remus?”
Shaking hands pressed against his back, encouraging Remus to slowly roll his
head until he could see Sirius out of one eye. The other boy's face was tear-
stained, and eyes wide.
“What...is he...”
“I'm going home,” Remus croaked. With great effort, he pushed the bin away from
him and turned more fully toward Sirius. “Dad's...he's coming to take me home.”
Sirius' eyes widened, his hands gripping at Remus' shoulders painfully.
“But...he can't. He'll...”
Shock gave way to panic, and tears spilled out of Remus' eyes. Sobs wracked his
body as he found himself being pulled tight to Sirius' chest. He heaved against
Sirius, crying so hard his eyes and chest hurt. His entire body was shaking,
trembling like an autumn leaf. He couldn't think about what his father would do
to him, knowing what he knew now. Belts and fists and boots wouldn't be enough
to turn him right in his father's eyes, Remus knew. But he couldn't imagine
what new method he might apply, now.
Sirius' hands felt steady in comparison to Remus' shaking on his back, stroking
long, soothing lines down. As Remus' sobbing quieted enough for him to hear, he
found Sirius hushing quietly against his ear. “I'm not going to let him,” he
murmured. Remus closed his eyes against the feel of Sirius' lips pressing
against the shell of his ear, warm breath brushing through his hair. His heart
couldn't take feeling the way he did about Sirius and being so terrified of his
father at the same time. “I'm not. I'm not going to let him hurt you again. I
promised.”
Remus' sobs started up again as he laughed helplessly. “You can't protect me,”
he moaned. “Not from him.”
Remus found himself being pushed away from Sirius' chest, the other boy staring
into his eyes with a fierce, almost insane intensity. “I  will .” Sirius'
fingers dug into Remus' arms as he stared at him. “I'll...I'll...”
Remus sniffed, offering Sirius a shaky smile. He knew there was absolutely no
hope in avoiding his punishment: at this point, he just wanted to survive. “You
can't fight my father, Sirius.” He tried changing the subject. “Did they call
your folks?”
Sirius' eyes narrowed, obviously not pleased with the segue. “They don't care.
I've done worse, honestly.” He continued before Remus could. “But there has to
be  something ...” he paused, and a strange light entered his eyes. “Run away
with me.”
The only reaction Remus could have to that was to laugh, so he did. But Sirius'
face had taken on a determined cast, eyes alight with a plan.
“No, Remus, honest. I've got a poofter uncle Alphard, and he's always offering
up his place to me if I get sick of my parents. I just haven't yet 'cause...”
he flushed, glancing away. “Well, it would mean giving up my inheritance. But
Remus, I promised to make sure no one hurt you again. No inheritance is worth
you going back home with your dad.”
Remus rolled puffy, wet eyes. “So what,” he croaked, “are we just going to ring
him, ask him to come pick us up before my dad shows up? He'll be here in a
matter of hours, Sirius.” His heart sank and trembling returned. Voice no more
than a whisper, he murmured: “There's nothing we can do.”
“James!” The light of a plan hadn't left Sirius' eyes as he continued to clutch
desperately at Remus. “We'll go over to the footie camp. James and Peter'll
hide us, and tonight we can sneak out and use the camp counselors' phone.”
Something that felt dangerously like hope flared in Remus' chest before he
could stamp it down. “It's not going to work, Sirius. The counselors will catch
us, it's broad daylight, James and Peter probably aren't even in their cabin
right now, and there's no guarantee your Uncle Alphard is willing to take in
some strange boy you met at camp.”
Sirius' eyes were desperate. “Please, Remus.” He leaned forward and pressed a
kiss to Remus' lips. “Please. Let me try and protect you.” His hands swept
through Remus' hair, eyes darting around his face. “ Please .”
What little ability Remus had to refuse Sirius crumbled in the face of his
sincerity.
“Okay,” he whispered. “What do we do?”


***** Chapter 12 *****
Chapter Summary
     Remus and Sirius flee the camp together.
Remus' hand was sweaty in Sirius' as they hurried through the forest together.
His rucksack slapped at his back as he jogged, and legs itched where sharp
twigs and brambles scratched bare skin. The sounds of the camp were fading away
rapidly behind them: chatting of boys and orders from camp counselors giving
way to chirping birds and clicking bugs. Remus' heart was thudding in his chest
– nervousness, excitement, blind terror... all competing for a spot inside him
– but one glance at Sirius' sure stride and determined face as he pulled Remus
along, and it beat more easily, more calmly.
As they approached James' camp, further along than Remus had ever gone into the
woods before, Sirius slowed and finally stopped, pulling Remus to a halt beside
him. Together they peered out from behind the trees. They were on a slight
ridge, with a clearing of cabins and football pitches laid out below them. Boys
were running around on the pitches, older counselors wandering around between
them.
Remus became aware of Sirius looking at him, and he turned to face the other
boy. In an instant he found himself being kissed fiercely, back and rucksack
shoved against a tree and oxygen leaving his mouth as quickly as Sirius' tongue
was invading it. He melted, clutching at Sirius' back as if he could support
him – as if he could protect him forever.
When they parted, Sirius' eyes were shining with a desperate determination.
“They'll go to lunch in a bit. When they do we'll sneak into James and Peter's
cabin and wait until they come back after dinner, yeah?”
Remus nodded. It was as good a plan as any, and right now his mind could do
little more than oscillate between vivid memories of his father's beatings and
more recent – and pleasant – memories of Sirius.
They crouched down to wait, hidden by the trees and some sparse undergrowth.
Sirius' hand reached for Remus', tugging it into his lap and holding on tight.
Remus squeezed back, and the two shared a long, understanding look.
Sure enough, Sirius was correct: within an hour the campers started filing off
the fields and into one large cabin in the middle of the grounds, which Remus
assumed was the dining hall. Only a few counselors were left outside milling
around, until they too disappeared into various buildings. It was then that
Sirius tugged at Remus' hand and stood up.
They dashed down the gentle slope of the ridge, feet skidding in the dirt as
knees tried to keep their bodies upright against gravity. Remus had no way of
knowing which of the dozens of identical-looking cabin was James and Peters',
but apparently Sirius did, because he lead the two of them straight to cabin
number seven. With hardly a glance around, Sirius swung open the door and
pushed Remus inside.
This cabin was a little bigger than the ones back at their camp, Remus noted.
There were four bunk beds in the cabin, two on each wall. Enough room for eight
boys to sleep. Remus panicked. “Sirius, James and Peter aren't alone in here.
We're going to get caught!”
But Sirius was already shoving his and Remus' rucksacks under one of the beds
and climbing up to the top bunk. “First, James is a footie star. Everyone of
the blokes here would be willing to drop to their knees and suck him off if
James so much as coughed.” He grinned lopsidedly down at Remus from the top
bunk. “And these blokes are straight. Generally.” He held down a hand, and
Remus reluctantly grabbed it and allowed himself to be hauled up the ladder.
Sirius pulled him down on top of him, grinding their hips together teasingly.
“And second: there's only seven blokes in here. This bunk's spare.”
A grin teased at the corners of Remus' mouth, until he gave in and let it
blossom across his face. “And they won't be back until dinner?”
Sirius shook his head, eyebrows waggling. “Nope.”
“Hm...” Remus sat up slightly, away from Sirius' heat and smell. He tapped his
finger to his lip, mock-pondering the situation. “What could we possibly do
with all-”
Sirius didn't let him finish his sentence, yanking Remus down to him. Remus
fell onto Sirius with a yelp, and then Sirius was snogging the life out of him,
hips moving as tongues and teeth clashed. Remus laughed into Sirius' mouth,
light-headed with relief. They had  made it . They were away from the camp, and
no one knew where they were. Not even his father. Now all they had to do was
make it through a few hours in this cabin, and they'd be phoning Sirius' uncle
Alphard to come pick them up. He was  safe .
Remus broke the kiss, shucking his and Sirius' shirt off as Sirius watched with
wide eyes. With as wicked a smile as Remus could muster – he hadn't had as much
practice as Sirius, so he was certain he looked a little bit silly – he
unbuttoned Sirius trousers. Sirius' eyes widened to saucer-levels as Remus
yanked them off, then nuzzled his nose against the thick, black pubic hair at
the base of his erection.
“R-R-Remus, you don't have to...”
“Let me,” Remus murmured, glancing up at Sirius. “I bollocksed it up so badly
last night, I want another go.”
Sirius' head thumped as it hit the pillow, and he carded a hand down into
Remus' hair. Remus took the pause to shuck off his own trousers. He might as
well be ready for when Sirius reciprocated. “Not stopping you...” Sirius weakly
joked.
Taking care to do this  properly  – after all, Sirius was his veritable knight-
in-shining-armor today – Remus stuck his tongue out and licked a long stripe on
the underside of Sirius' cock, from base to head. He tasted salty, mostly: they
had just been running through the woods, after all. As Remus curled his tongue
around the head and lapped at the precome beading there, he amended his first
assessment: salty and bitter. Interesting.
Beneath him, Sirius was moaning, hands tightening in his hair. He tugged, just
slightly, and Remus took that as his cue to get on with the main event.
Covering his teeth with his lips – if anything could be said about Remus, it
was that he was a fast learner – he slowly slid his mouth down around Sirius'
cock, taking as much in as he could and covering the rest with a tightly
wrapped hand. Sirius' small moan excited Remus, but he knew he could get more
from the dark-haired boy. Eyebrows furrowed in concentration, Remus pulled back
and  sucked .
“Fuck, fuck! Oh, I...fuck...Remus...”
Remus' stomach clenched and flipped, groin alighting with the reaction he was
provoking in Sirius. Gaining confidence, Remus slid his mouth down and back up,
pressing his tongue against the vein on the way down, and sucking almost
viciously on the way up. Sirius was arching above him, keening his pleasure.
His hips were thrusting in tiny, little aborted movements. Remus appreciated
that Sirius could keep that much control: he didn't much fancy gagging or –
even worse –  vomiting  all over Sirius' cock just because Sirius thrust too
far down his throat.
Emboldened, Remus reached down with his unoccupied hand and played with Sirius
balls: rolling them between long fingers, tugging them gently, squeezing and
massaging them. Sirius' grip was almost painful in his hair, head thrown back
against the pillow, eyes closed and mouth open in complete, pleasure-filled
abandon. Remus groaned at the sight, eyes trained on the rapturous look on
Sirius' face. He felt precome dribbling down his shaft, and he tried to rub it
against the mattress as he sucked.
Once he started rutting, Remus found he couldn't stop. His mouth sucked and
licked at Sirius' cock as his hands worked his balls and shaft. Meanwhile, his
hips were  thrusting over and over against the bed, arousal spiraling as
Sirius' moans became louder and more desperate.
As the first taste of come hit his tongue and Sirius' shout rang in his ears,
Remus' entire body stiffened, shaking and twitching as he emptied himself onto
the mattress. His mouth fell off Sirius' cock, opened wide as his eyes squeezed
shut and face pressed against Sirius' groin. The smell of Sirius' come and musk
only served to protract Remus' orgasm, and he whimpered plaintively as his body
continued to shake, spent cock twitching uselessly against the rough bed
sheets.
An eternity later, Remus became aware of Sirius' hand stroking gently at his
face and hair, voice whispering his name. Exhaustion lining every muscle of his
body, Remus tilted his head and cracked an eyelid, glancing up at Sirius.
“Ung?”
Sirius' grin was stupid-happy, and with a little bit of urging Remus managed to
crawl up his body and kiss him. “You liked that, hm?”
Remus blinked slowly, before he glanced down and realized how ridiculous he
must have looked: coming just from rutting against the mattress like some
lonely thirteen-year-old. He blushed, trying to avoid Sirius' eyes. But then
Sirius' hand was on his chin, tilting him to meet his gaze.
“Hey, it's fine. Loads of guys love giving head that much.” Sirius' eyes
crinkled as he smiled. “Lucky me, huh? I've got a boyfriend who's gagging for
it.”
Remus shoved at Sirius, though he was relieved that he wasn't weird. For a
moment he smiled: he didn't even consider himself weird or wrong for being gay,
anymore.
“Hey, what?”
Smiling at a confused Sirius, Remus leaned forward and kissed him. “Nothing.
Just...this is good. I think it all might work out.”
Sirius winked. "With me at your side? Of course it will.” He paused, smacking
his lips together before shifting his leg around a bit. Remus glanced down,
trying to figure out what he was after. “Did you swallow?”
Oh . Remus flushed, thinking back. He had started coming just a second after
Sirius had, and after that everything went fuzzy... He glanced down at Sirius'
groin, which appeared relatively come-free.
“I think so.” His eyes widened. “It's okay, isn't it? It's not going to make me
sick or...” He thought of stories about swallowed watermelon seeds growing in
stomachs, and immediately panicked. He wasn't a woman, but...what if...
But Sirius was laughing, shaking his head. “It's fine. Some blokes do, some
don't. It doesn't matter either way.”
“How do you know all of this?” The question fell from Remus' lips before he
thought about the possible answers. His stomach twisted at the thought of
Sirius with anyone else, even though he had first-hand knowledge of the fact.
Sirius was shrugging, waving a hand dismissively. “Most of it's wank magazines.
They've got some really interesting articles about all this stuff.”
“There's magazines for... for us? Blokes like us?”
Sirius beamed, grin predatory as he pulled Remus to him and nuzzled against his
nose. “There's all sorts of things out there for blokes like us. Discos and
music and pubs...” He pulled Remus into his chest, continuing his nuzzling
against Remus' hair. “There's a whole  world  out there for us, Remus.”
And in just a few hours , Remus thought,  I'll get to see it. With Sirius.
By the time Sirius' zippo clicked and smoke filled the cabin, Remus was fast
asleep, curled up against Sirius' chest.
**
Remus awoke to boys bouncing on the top and bottom bunks, raucously shouted
greetings bouncing off the walls of the small cabin.
“-fuck 'im, I'm not letting him get near Remus!”
“Hell, even I'd throw my support behind you two blokes, whatever I could.
That's just not right.”
Remus blinked, managing to distinguish James and Peter's voices speaking to
Sirius. He groaned and rolled over, eyes cracking open as he tried to assess
the situation. It was evening: the light coming through the window was all
evening-red, and crickets were starting up outside. Sirius was still on the top
bunk with Remus, though his back was to him as he leaned over the edge,
chatting animatedly with James and Peter. Remus smiled at his back: his legs
were curled under him, knees bumping into the railing. It gave Remus a
fantastic view of his trouser-clad arse, and made him look rather young and
endearing.
James noticed he was awake first, smirking at him and elbowing Peter in the
ribs. “Looks like the other lovebird is awake from his sex-coma, eh Petey?”
Immediately Sirius' head whipped around, throwing himself onto Remus and giving
him a good wake-up snog. Remus laughed and pushed him off, mindful of the other
boys in the cabin. Making sure he was appropriately covered, Remus pushed
himself into a sitting position, glancing around the room. There were five
other boys in there besides James and Peter, but they all seemed unconcerned by
the two stowaways crashing in one of their bunks. They were mostly lying on
their own beds, reading or writing letters. Two of them were playing cards on
the floor, apparently using pretzels in place of money. Remus had never felt so
average . It was exhilarating.
“'Least I'm getting some,” Remus finally fired back at James. The other boy
burst into raucous laughter, leveraging himself up to smack Remus playfully on
the head.
Sirius joined in with the teasing, nudging Remus' shoulder. “Yeah, James: how
is Evans doing, anyway?”
Ever-helpful, Peter spoke up. “Apparently in high spirits. She told James that
she wouldn't date him even if he took her for dinner and dancing on the moon.”
Remus and Sirius laughed as James wrestled with Peter, giving him a mock-
pounding. For a moment, Sirius and Remus' eyes met, and Remus felt another
small bit of the tension within him melt away.
**
That night, Remus' heart was in his chest as he, Sirius, James, and Peter snuck
across the camp grounds and to the main cabin. According to James, the only
phone in the camp was in the main office there. James and Peter were to play
look-out and pack mule respectively – Peter drew the short straw and was
carrying Sirius and Remus' rucksacks as the two runaways broke in and made the
call. James told them that the counselors never locked the doors, but Remus
wasn't so sure. With his luck, one of them would tonight on a whim, and Sirius
would have to either pick the lock or breakdown the door. And Sirius had
professed that he had never actually tried to pick a lock before, just figured
he might be able to suss it.
They reached the main cabin without incident, James and Sirius do a great deal
too much ducking and weaving than was really necessary, in Remus' mind. Sirius
and James clapped each other's shoulders in parting, and then Sirius and Remus
were slipping through the first pair of doors. They padded quietly through the
dark cabin, eyes and ears open for any counselors working late. Luckily, they
ran into no one before the second set of doors.
Even more fortunately, they found the second pair of doors unlocked, and Sirius
was dialing the little rotary phone within a minute of them entering the cabin.
Remus hung back by the door, glancing out and around the cabin as Sirius
remained quiet, phone to his ear.
After what seemed like an impossibly long amount of time, Sirius straightened
at the desk, hand twisting on the receiver.
“Uncle Alphard? Yeah, it's Sirius. No, wait...” Sirius rolled his eyes at Remus
good-naturedly. “Hang on, before you come, I got two things to tell you. First,
I'm over at the footie camp. The one James is at? Potter?” Sirius was silent
for a few seconds. “Yeah. But there's a second thing. There's another boy with
me. From the camp.” Sirius flushed as he fell silent, glancing over at Remus
from time to time. “Yeah. Yeah.” His face turned even redder a moment later.
“No! Not...not...” he glanced at Remus, body turning away as he cupped the
phone close to his mouth. “Not all the way...”
Remus' face quickly turned red enough to match Sirius' as he realized what
Alphard was asking. Finally, Sirius was saying his good-byes and hanging up the
phone.
“Did he really ask about that?”
Sirius shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. “He wanted to know what our
relationship was. If you were just some bloke or...” Sirius' grin grew cheeky.
“Or my Remus-dear.”
Remus flushed at the nickname, but inwardly was glowing with an ubiquitous
warmth.
Sirius nodded at the doorway. “Come on. We'll get our rucksacks from Peter and
head out. Alphard'll be here in about an hour, and in the meantime we can start
heading down the road. That way no one will see the lights and know someone was
here.”
They retrieved their rucksacks from Peter, slinging them on their shoulders and
adjusting them until they were comfortable. James handed over two packs of
cigarettes and Peter a whole can of lighter fluid for the road. There was much
manly hugging and promises of letters written before James and Sirius would
part. Finally, with one last round of clapped shoulders and fiercely shaken
hands, Remus and Sirius turned away from the camp and headed down the road.
Sirius lit two cigarettes, passing one to Remus. The nicotine made his head
feel dizzy as he drew long and deep on the fag – or maybe it was just giddiness
at what they were doing.
Sirius held out his left hand, scraping at Remus' right. He smiled over at
Sirius as he took his hand.
“What do you think your dad did when they couldn't find you?”
Remus shrugged, taking a contemplative drag on his cigarette. “I don't know. He
might have been glad to be rid of me. Or maybe livid.” He tried picturing the
reactions, and he could see both. “Dunno. Both, maybe. Dunno.”
Sirius' hand tightened reassuringly around Remus'. “Well, now you never have to
think about him again.”
The dirt road to the camp was dark, the noises of the forest threatening. Remus
held tight to Sirius' hand. After only fifteen minutes of walking they came to
the main road. Sirius glanced either way, before shucking his rucksack and
pulling Remus down to the ground with him. “Dunno which way to go. Just have to
wait, now.” Remus settled down next to him, their shoulders bumping
comfortably. The tips of their cigarettes and sickle moon were the only sources
of illumination on the dark road, and the sounds of the forest were loud around
them. Remus found himself immensely grateful for Sirius' presence. He could
have never done this without him.
Remus couldn't tell how much time had passed when headlights appeared in the
distance. Sirius stood, taking one last drag of his cigarette before stamping
it out beneath his trainers. Remus followed suit, pulling his rucksack over his
shoulder as he peered out at the two bright points of light.
The car slowed to a stop next to them, the window cranking down slowly.
“Sirius? That you, lad? By God, you've grown six inches! And look at that hair:
you devil.”
Sirius' grin was all Remus needed to know that it was indeed Uncle Alphard in
the car. He bent down, placing both hands on the doorframe and leaning through
the window. “Hey Al! Thanks for coming for us.”
The man in the car – middle-aged and average looking, though definitely sharing
Sirius' dark hair and arched brow, from what Remus could discern in the low
light – waved a hand in dismissal. “I told you any time you finished with those
crazy folks of yours you were welcome, and I meant it. This your boyfriend?”
Sirius moved aside so that Remus could lean in the window. He stuck a hand
through, shaking Alphard's hand politely. “Hello, sir. Thank you for your help.
I promise as soon as I can find work...”
“Look at you! Skinny as a weed, my God! It's a good thing Sirius got to you
when he did: you might have wasted away before much longer. Come on, get in,
get in. We'll stop by a pub before we head home for something to eat. God knows
I have nothing besides a few moldy teabags and soggy biscuits in my flat.”
Remus' eyes brimmed with tears as he found himself being shoved into the car by
Sirius. “Th-thank you,” he whispered. As Sirius slammed the door shut, Remus
found himself clinging to the other boy's warmth. “This is... so much... thank
you.”
Alphard turned around, and Remus was able to fully look into his eyes for the
first time. They were the same grey, kind eyes that Sirius had. The man smiled
softly as he looked at Remus, eyes flickering over to Sirius briefly. “It
really is no trouble, young man. I know how difficult the world can be, at
times. I'm just glad to lend a helping hand.”
Remus was glad for the darkness as tears overran their banks and poured down
his face. Alphard had already turned back to the road and was pulling out onto
it. As Remus buried his face in Sirius' shirt, burrowing deep into the warmth
and shuddering beneath the strong hand on his back, Alphard spoke one more
time: “Let's get you home.”


***** Epilogue *****
Chapter Summary
     Epilogue. Epilogue-y things.
1975:
August:
As Sirius entered him for the first time – arsehole dripping with lube and
saliva, thoroughly stretched and relaxed to the point that Remus thought he
might dieif Sirius didn't just get on with it – Remus finally put to rest the
last of his doubts that homosexuality was somehow “unnatural”. If Mother Nature
hadn't meant for blokes to stick cocks up their arses, then she wouldn't have
made the prostate feel so fucking good when prodded with one. Bloody genius
woman, she was. Remus gasped through the first orgasm he ever had without his
cock being touched once. The sensation of Sirius' come filling him just made
him shudder more, even as they melted into the sheets and basked in the
afterglow.
They tried it the other way 'round only once or twice before Remus shyly
suggested that he bottom most of the time, and Sirius nearly knocked him
backwards in his enthusiasm. There were still occasions when Sirius would have
a go at it, though both generally preferred Remus on bottom. And Remus, in his
soppier moments, might admit that he liked having Sirius moving above him,
solid weight forming a shield between Remus and the rest of the world.
September :
Uncle Alphard registered Remus and Sirius at the local private school by his
flat. Sirius marveled at the differences between it and boarding school,
laughing like mad the first time they had to ride the bus.
November:
Remus was laughing breathlessly as Sirius had hold of his hand and dragged him
into the club. “You don't understand, Remus. It's David Bowie. Ziggy Stardust
himself!”
Sirius' body glitter was falling off of him and onto Remus in gentle showers
every time he whipped his head around. Kohl-rimmed eyes crinkled as he laughed
and tugged Remus into the club.
It was later that night, as Sirius kissed him in the smoke-filled air and his
lipgloss smeared all over Remus' mouth, that Remus realized he might be in
love.
December :
Christmas Eve found Remus burying his face in Sirius' jumper, quiet snuffles
filling the room. Alphard was looking on sympathetically, while at the same
time trying to be as unobtrusive as possible with his brandy glass by the fire.
Clutched in Remus' hand was Christmas letter from his mum, mailed to Alphard's
flat.
Remus wasn't sure himself if he was terrified at the thought of his father
finding him and dragging him away, or just incredibly saddened at the thought
of his mum carefully sneaking away one day to the post office to mail the
little hand-written card.
Sirius' strong arms and quiet support got Remus through the night, and by the
time he was being awoken the next morning by Sirius' mouth wrapped around his
cock and soft grey eyes peering up at him, Remus felt worlds better. He carded
a hand down into Sirius' silken locks, and the other boy resumed the blowjob,
sucking a long trail from base to head. Remus let his head fall back onto the
pillow as a quiet pleasure snuck up on him.
1976:
March:
When he received a birthday card from his mum in March, it was less of a shock.
He quietly stored the letter in a shoebox, ignoring the dark look that passed
across Sirius' face.
May :
Sirius' birthday found Remus buried tongue-deep in Sirius' arse, carefully
cataloguing the new sensations and tastes. Sirius arched beneath him, a string
of profanities falling from his lips as hands clawed at pillows, bedsheets,
headboards – anything they could reach. Remus hummed to himself, attempting to
push his tongue inside and finding little resistance. Sirius' deep moan as
Remus swiped his tongue along the interior of Sirius' passage was immensely
gratifying, and the taste wasn't nearly as bad as Remus thought it might be.
When Sirius came untouched, hand slapping against the headboard repeatedly,
Remus quickly jerked himself to completion and crawled up the bed. Sirius'
nuzzling nips and kisses against Remus' throat, and the gooey contented state
of his limbs were all the thanks Remus needed.
1977:
April :
Remus sagged against Alphard's kitchen counter before sliding to the floor.
Everything hurt. His face, his knuckles, his ribs, his arms... and he hadn't
even gotten the damned groceries. Remus felt tears pricking at his eyes. He was
such a fucking poof.
“Need help putting the groc- Remus? Remus, what the hell?!”
Remus tried to pull away from Sirius' questioning fingers and concerned eyes,
but Sirius was insistent. He always was. Puffy, tear-filled amber eyes met
horrified grey, and Remus just shrugged a shoulder.  Fuck . Even that hurt.
“Did you get mugged?”
“Not in so many words,” Remus grumbled. The instant the words left his mouth he
knew he had made a mistake, because Sirius' face hardened into something Remus
had never seen before. It was terrifying.
“It was those blokes at school, wasn't it? Snivellus and that lot.”
Remus shook his head, trying to diffuse the situation. “It was just messing
around, Sirius. It looks worse than it is, I'm sure. Just...” Sirius had
already jumped up and grabbed his leather jacket and riding goggles. Remus
tried to follow, but his injuries slowed him. “Please, Sirius,” Sirius was
already at the door by the time Remus managed to stand. “Don't do anything-”
the door slammed shut in Remus' face. In a rage, he grabbed the nearest
breakable thing – a tea mug – and threw it at the wall. “Stupid!” he finished.
Alphard's head poked around the kitchen door in inquiry, expression softening
as he caught sight of Remus. “He's gone out to play hero, hasn't he?”
Remus wiped his eyes on his sleeve, nodding glumly. “He always does.”
Comforting arms wrapped around Remus and tugged him gently toward the bathroom.
“Come on. Let's get you cleaned up.”
November :
Remus clutched Sirius' hand tightly as they walked up to the casket. Remus was
crying unashamedly: the man who was as good as – better than – a father to him
for the better part of three years was dead. Next to him, Sirius' eyes were
wet, but cheeks dry. Remus knew he'd break down later, when they were alone. In
Sirius' mind, only Remus was allowed to see him cry. And Alphard, but now...
just Remus.
Remus waited patiently as Sirius knelt and paid his respects, pressing a kiss
to his uncle's forehead before standing. He turned to Remus, nodding at the
casket. “Go ahead,” he managed to croak. “'meant as much to you as he did me.”
Tears dribbled down Remus' face as he knelt down as Sirius had, whispering a
soft prayer to whoever was out there. He reached out and stroked a thin finger
over Alphard's hair, pushing it back so it was nice and neat. “Thank you,” he
whispered.
As they walked away together, a somber man in a suit pulled them aside. “Are
you Misters Sirius Black and Remus Lupin?” They nodded. The man glanced down at
the folder of documents in his hand, before replying carefully: “You'd best
come with me.”
1978:
“Why did you move here again?”
Sirius rolled his eyes and shoved another lot of boxes against the wall of
their new flat. “Because you're here, Remus-dear.”
Remus sighed exasperatedly. They had already had this conversation countless
times, but Remus still couldn't see the sense in it. “I'm the only one of us
going to uni, Sirius. There was no reason for you to move out here, too. I
could have just come back on weekends.” He honestly still felt a bit terrible
for selling Alphard's flat. Not that he wasn't planning on moving out here
before Alphard died, but still. It felt wrong to get rid of it so soon.
The door slamming shut called Remus' attention away from the dishes he was
unpacking to Sirius, who was stalking slowly across the living room toward him.
Slowly setting down the plate in his hand, Remus' eyes widened as Sirius pushed
him against the counter, hips grinding against his. “Yeah, but now that we have
our own flat, we can shag on  every. available. surface .” Sirius punctuated
the last three words with a thrust of his hips for each one, leaving Remus a
puddle of horny butter beneath him.
“Uhhn...”
As Sirius took him relentlessly over the kitchen counter, Remus was finally
convinced. This was an  excellent  reason for Sirius to have followed him to
uni.
Of course, Remus would have to clean the counters thoroughly before he unpacked
any more dishes.
1979:
March:
His birthday card this year had included a note from his father. Remus glanced
at it and made to throw it in the trash when Sirius snatched it away from him.
Silence reigned in the room for a long moment, as Sirius' face grew red with
rage and Remus tried to be calm and rational – as calm and rational as he could
be, after his father called him a faggot.
Sirius didn't even look at Remus as he gripped the note tightly and went to
grab his leather jacket and riding goggles. “No. No, Sirius,” Remus moved in
front of him, firm hand on his chest. “You're  not  doing this. Not again. You
need to  stop  sticking up for me and fighting my battles. He's just a
miserable old man. What harm could he possibly do?”
To his surprise, Sirius dropped the letter and moved to yank at Remus' shirt.
Too shocked to protest, Remus let Sirius drag him to the full-length mirror in
their bedroom, turning him around and pointing accusingly.
“That is what harm he could do, Remus. You may never have to look at the scars,
but I do. Every time we make love, even if you're on your back, I can feel
them, Remus-dear.” Sirius' voice was choked, and Remus turned away from his own
reflection to see Sirius' eyes brimming with furious tears. “You'll always
carry the scars of what he did to you, and I can't ever, ever forgive him for
that.”
Remus sighed, stroking Sirius' cheek. “I'm not asking you to forgive him,
Sirius.  I never will.” Sirius' eyes fluttered closed as he leaned into Remus'
touch. “Just don't go out and do something stupid, like fight him. It won't do
any good. Not after all these years. Not after I have you.”
Sirius turned and kissed the palm of Remus' hands. His eyes opened and met
Remus'. There wasn't a promise to behave in them. But he bent down and
retrieved the letter before binning it, and didn't head toward his bike again
that day.
If one day, a few weeks later, Sirius came home to him with bloodied knuckles
and a scratch on his cheek, Remus didn't say anything. He stopped receiving any
cards from his mum that year.
June  :
“Honestly, Lils: a June bride? Isn't it a bit cliché?”
Lily fixed Sirius with her best disapproving glare before arching an eyebrow
cooly in Remus' direction. “This coming from the poof whose boyfriend's
favorite gift is chocolate?”
Remus shrugged good-naturedly, threading his fingers with Sirius' on the table.
“What can I say, Lily: I'm a man of simple tastes.”
“Never heard Sirius described as 'simple', before. That's a good one, Remus.”
Sirius gasped and threw a grape tomato at Peter, who was sitting on the
opposite side of Remus.
Sirius turned to James, aghast. “Come on, mate! You're not going to defend my
honor?”
Lily smiled delicately. “I think James is in a bit of a state of shock.”
“Did you hear, Sirius? She's marrying me.”
Sirius patted the stunned groom on the shoulder, sighing hopelessly. “That's
it, Lils: I pass him off unto you. He's your problem, now.”
An hour later, Remus was snuggled comfortably against Sirius' side as they
watched Lily and James float across the dance floor. He sighed, barely audibly.
Sirius picked up on it – he always did.
“Love? What is it?”
“Don't say 'love'. It makes you sound like an old queen.”
Sirius' wink was all the reply he needed.
Remus waited for a moment, thinking that Sirius might drop the issue. Feeling
Sirius' heavy gaze on him, he sighed, straightening up in his seat. “Just
thinking that it's a shame that can't be us.”
Immediately Sirius' eyes softened, and he leaned in to kiss Remus gently. “Do
you want to do something? A little ceremony? We can do the cake, and rings, and
make everyone dress up.”
Remus shook his head, threading his hand through Sirius'. “It'd all just be for
show. And a waste of money. Maybe, if it's ever legal, we'll do something.”
With fierce devotion shining in his eyes, Sirius suddenly gripped both of
Remus' hands in his own. “I swear, Remus John Lupin, I will stay by you until
the day I die. And we all know I'll be the one to die first, with that
ridiculous motorcycle I insist on riding around on.” Remus snorted as Sirius
did a passable impression of his country accent. “But I do. I promise. You and
only you, Remus-dear.”
Sirius sealed the promise with a kiss.
1980:
July 31st :
Sirius was already passing out cigars as he strode into the hospital. “Here,
take one! I'm a Godfather! You want one? Go ahead!”
Remus was just doing his best to make sure Sirius didn't forget himself and try
and light the cigar dangling from his mouth while they were still in the
hospital.
They entered the maternity ward waiting room to find James pacing around the
chairs, hair in even more of disarray than usual. Peter was slouching in one of
the chairs, fiddling with the lid of his coffee cup and looking rather bored.
To his credit, he had been there at least two hours already, since it had taken
that long for Sirius and Remus to get over to the hospital once they got James'
frantic phone call. Remus slouched down next to him, while Sirius went over to
try and calm down James.
“Hey.” Remus greeted Peter.
“Hey.”
Remus nodded at the obviously empty coffee cup. “Want another? There was a
vending machine as we walked in: crisps?”
Peter perked up. “Yeah, sure. Thanks, mate.”
Remus returned with four packs of crisps and three cups of coffee balanced
carefully between his fingers. He handed the coffee out to Peter and Sirius,
keeping the last one for himself. James didn't need the caffeine, in Remus'
judgement.
Hours later, a nurse came out and congratulated James on being a new father. He
collapsed in Sirius' arms, alternatively sobbing and laughing hysterically.
The three of them managed to corral James into the room where Lily lay,
exhausted but jubilant, with a little bundle of baby in her arms. Sirius
immediately pointed out the ridiculous shock of black hair poking out from the
bundle of blankets and slapped James on the arm. “Look at that hair! Just like
his old man.”
James eyes were brimming with pride as he carefully joined Lily and baby Harry
on the bed. He refused to hold him at first, insisting that he'd just drop
Harry on his delicate little head. It took Lily pushing Harry into James' arms
for the proud father to take hold of him. The baby yawned, face nuzzling into
his father's shirt. Remus thought James might burst with love and pride.
When Sirius was deigned a go at holding the baby by Lily, Sirius carried him
over to Remus, so they could coo and aw together. Remus reached out and played
with Harry's fingers, marveling at his teeny-tiny fingernails.
Remus slipped an arm around Sirius as they gazed down at the little baby's
face, who gazed a little sleepily back up. Sirius nudged him. “Want one?”
Remus sighed softly. “I think if you haven't gotten me pregnant yet, it's not
going to happen.”
They passed the baby off to Peter, who stared with wide eyes down at the
bundle, as if it was a tiny little miracle. Which, Remus supposed, it was. “You
thought it might.”
Remus frowned at Sirius, distracted by the broody feelings baby Harry was
awakening in him. “Sorry?”
“The second time you gave me a blowjob – well, the first real time. At James'
footie camp?”
Remus blushed, mouth open as he remembered. “I can't believe you remember
that.”
James' ears had perked up, and he glanced away from Peter handing the baby back
to Lily. “What was this about blowjobs and my footie camp?”
As much as he tried to silence him with gestures and  looks , Sirius talked
right over Remus. “First time Remus gave me a proper blowjob was in the top
bunk at footie camp, when we ran away together. He swallowed and then got
nervous it might get him pregnant.”
Remus blushed bright red, shoving half-heartedly at Sirius. “I was thinking of
watermelon seeds,” he grumbled.
James just groaned. “And I made  you  Harry's Godfather? I've ruined the poor
lad already.”
“Perhaps,” Lily pondered as she rocked Harry gently, “you can save those
stories for when Harry is much, much older. Thirty or so, I'd think.”
Sirius just laughed and started listing all the fantastically dangerous toys he
was planning on getting Harry for Christmas.
1989:
March :
“If I have to read one more paper citing Shakespeare as a source for their
Roman history project, I'm going to gouge my eyes out.”
“Rough day at work, love?”
Remus bent down and pecked Sirius on the lips on his way to the fridge.
“Ridiculous. You think uni students would have a better grasp of what comprises
a  proper  source.” He pulled out cheese and crackers and a bottle of wine
before joining Sirius at the table. Sirius immediately stood and grabbed them
two glasses, stretching his legs out upon sitting back down so that his feet
caressed Remus' ankles.
“That's what you get for offering to teach a first-year English class.”
“Never again,” Remus grumbled around a mouthful of cheese and crackers. “How
was your day?”
Sirius sighed, leaning back with his glass of wine cradled between his fingers.
“Steven had another run-in with some bullies.”
Remus frowned. “Did you report it?”
“Of course I did, but I dunno how much good it'll do. His headmaster still
doesn't want to acknowledge gay-bashing at his school. Hell, if it were up to
that man, he wouldn't acknowledge us at all.”
“What about a transfer?”
Sirius shook his head sadly, twirling the wine around in his glass. “His
parents don't have the money to ship him off somewhere else. I just...” Remus
leaned across the table and took Sirius' hand in his. The other man looked up
with a grateful smile. “I wish there was more I could do for these kids.
They're so lost and scared, and most don't have anywhere they can feel safe.”
Standing, Remus walked around the table to Sirius. He placed a gentle hand on
Sirius' chin and tilted his head up so that they could kiss, slow and gentle.
“Remember,” he murmured against Sirius' lips, “You'll have always helped at
least one confused little boy, no matter what happens when you're
volunteering.”
Sirius smiled and rubbed at Remus' arm. “Yeah, but I got quite a bit out of
that good deed, myself.” He winked roguishly up at Remus. “In fact, feeling up
for a reward shag right now?”
Allowing himself to be dragged from the kitchen and to the bedroom, Remus
sighed. “When's your libido supposed to calm down?”
“I'm not thirty for another two months!” Sirius whinged. “And never: not with
you as my inspiration, Remus-dear.”
Remus groaned as he found himself being tugged down onto the bed.
2005:
December 5 th:
“D'you wanna get married?”
Remus glanced at the telly, where the BBC reporter was describing the recent
legislation in detail. “Do we need to?” He glanced over his reading glasses at
Sirius. “I thought you didn't need a ring to stay faithful.”
Sirius winked roguishly, pushing a spattering of grey hair back against his
temples. “No, but I do like my collar.”
Remus smiled, eyes drifting back down to the exams he was grading as he thought
that was the end of it.
A moment later, Sirius spoke up again. “But what about insurance?”
Remus sighed, taking off his glasses. He folded them as he considered Sirius
from across the table. His expression was earnest, and just a tiny bit hopeful.
Remus smiled softly. “Well if it's for insurance purposes...” Remus jabbed his
glasses at Sirius. “But we need to wait until after Ginny gives birth. She's
liable to drop any day now, and I'm not about to upstage the birth of your
great-Godson. Or daughter.”
Sirius grinned, reaching across the table to close his hands over Remus'.
“Deal.”


End.
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