Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1127260.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M, Other, Multi
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      Terezi_Pyrope/Dave_Strider/Karkat_Vantas, Terezi_Pyrope/Dave_Strider,
      Terezi_Pyrope/Karkat_Vantas, Dave_Strider/Karkat_Vantas
  Character:
      Terezi_Pyrope, Dave_Strider, Karkat_Vantas
  Additional Tags:
      Kissing, Threesome, Threesome_-_F/M/M, Angst, FTM_Dave, Trans_Dave, Trans
      Character, Trans_Male_Character, Strap-Ons, Sadstuck, Unhappy_Ending,
      Cunnilingus
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-01-09 Completed: 2014-01-14 Chapters: 2/2 Words: 9437
****** Poor Life Choices ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     You’ve lost control of the situation. This is no longer about Terezi
     and Gamzee’s clearly ill-fated kismessitude, but rather about some
     feelings for Dave you have done such a good job of ignoring and
     clearly not quite so good of a job of hiding. It only adds insult to
     injury that the way Terezi smiles confidently and ever-so-slightly
     cruelly gets to you as well, reminding you yet again of everything
     you love and hate about her.
Notes
     Please mind the tags! Sadstuck and unhappy are unrelated to Dave
     being trans, by the way.
***** Chapter 1 *****
CG: LOOK, I'VE SEEN THE WAY SHE STILL LOOKS AT YOU
TG: shes blind dumbass
CG: FINE. I'VE SEEN THE WAY THAT SHE SNIFFS AT YOU.
CG: THAT JUST SOUNDS CREEPY.
TG: so youre closely examining lady nostrils now
TG: watching for the slightest dilation or twitch
TG: any stray intake of breath
TG: to determine its deep romantic meaning
TG: karkat vantas: nostril whisperer
CG: HA. HA.
CG: YES YOU’VE FIGURED IT OUT. THIS IS ALL ABOUT ME WANTING TO STICK MY TINY
ALIEN BULGE INTO HER NOSTRILS.
TG: ok you just took it a weirder place than i was going
TG: but thats cool if thats what youre into
CG: I WAS MORE AIMING TO GET YOU TO SHUT THE HELL UP SO WE CAN GET BACK TO THE
POINT.
TG: what point
CG: WE ARE *TRYING* TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO ABOUT HER AND GAMZEE.
TG: youre trying to figure that out
TG: im just getting ranted out
TG: seriously whatre you suggesting we do
TG: just walk up to her and go “hey we know youre down with the clown and were
kinda worried so quit that shit out k thanks”
CG: DO YOU HAVE A BETTER IDEA, GENIUS?
TG: yeah
TG: stay the fuck out of her beeswax
TG: i know you want to be crawling all over that and sticking your head in
where it doesnt belong but youre just going to get a fuckton of stinging terezi
sass and no honey for your pisspoor efforts
CG: FOR ALL YOUR TOUGH GUY ACT I KNOW THAT I'M NOT ALONE IN STILL CARING ABOUT
HER.
TG: you got me
TG: i care about her so clearly the only solution is to team up
TG: lets start a league of evil exes
TG: dedicated to never letting her date anyone else because were whiny little
bitches
TG: sorry but im not qualified to found this organization with you
TG: on account of not being a whiny little bitch
CG: STOP PURPOSEFULLY MISUNDERSTANDING ME!
CG: I'M NOT TELLING HER TO NOT DATE ANYONE ELSE. I JUST THINK SHE'S MAKING A
DANGEROUS MISTAKE.
CG: AND I STILL CARE ABOUT HER. AS A FRIEND.
TG: and as a whiny ex boyfriend
CG: YES, LET'S USE OUR FAILED ATTEMPTS AT RELATIONSHIPS WITH HER AS A GREAT
EXCUSE TO BROOD INSTEAD OF MATURELY EXPRESSING OUR CONCERN TO HER REGARDING HER
RECENT POOR LIFE CHOICES.
CG: THAT'S DEFINITELY THE HIGH ROAD HERE.
TG: wtf do you want me to do
CG: I'LL DO MOST OF THE TALKING.
TG: dont you always
CG: ABSOLUTELY NOT ALWAYS.
CG: YOU'VE PROVED YOURSELF PLENTY CAPABLE OF PROVIDING A NEVER-ENDING SUPPLY OF
SNIDE REMARKS.
TG: glad to do my part bro
CG: I THINK YOUR PRESENCE WILL MEAN A LOT.
TG: yeah itll mean youre too chickenshit to go talk to her alone
For all his claims of not wanting to get involved, Dave nevertheless shows up
to join you when you tell him you’ve got Terezi alone in the computer lab a few
days later. Of course, he doesn't offer any back-up, just stands a pace behind
you with his hands shoved in his stupid knight pajama pockets when you get to
the blood pusher of the matter.
“Look, we both know what you've gotten yourself into with Gamzee,” you say.
“I'm just – we're just – concerned.”
Terezi's expression darkens for a moment, but it doesn’t last. She pulls
herself back together quickly, and you’d admire her composure if you weren’t so
serious about the situation.
“How long have you known?” she asks, her tone not quite sincere in its
nonchalance.
“Only a few days, why?” you reply. “That’s not important; it’s just-”
“What’s important then?” she asks, adjusting her posture slightly,
straightening and spinning her cane a bit. It’s bravado, an obvious defense
mechanism, and the thin line of her pursed lips suddenly twists upwards, though
you can’t imagine why she’d be amused by this. Before you can question her
entertainment, she continues, “Why are you so serious about this? Are you
jealous, Karkat? You've clearly got your caliginous quadrant filled.”
It takes you a second to process just what she means, but you sputter
indignantly. “No, I am not caliginous with him! If anything, it's been leaning
pale, but you and I both know they don't do quadrants-”
“I can assure you there's no interspecies hate-macking happening on this
meteor, unless Rose's relationship with Kanaya is getting freakier than I
thought,” Dave says. “Despite Karkat here having the hots for me.”
“I do not have the hots for you,” you spit, turning to glare at Dave. It's only
a little bit of a lie.
“Says the guy who can't keep his hands off my cape and wanted me to caress his
cheek to make some point about dream bubbles.”
“You imbecile, how is caressing someone's cheek at all concupiscent?”
“For someone who watches as many human romcoms as you do, you've still missed
some key cultural differences,” Dave says, keeping a straight face as you
glower at him. “Were you too busy sobbing at their beauty to pick up on those
subtleties? Or maybe jacking off at the hot human dudes, since we've
established that's your type.”
“Nah, I think you're just special,” Terezi cackles.
“Shut the fuck up, Strider,” you bark at him, cheeks flushing. You can’t
believe the two of them are teaming up; this is not at all what’s supposed to
happen. “You are fucking useless! Why the fuck did I ask you to come along?”
“Because you talk a big game but couldn’t actually get the courage to do it
alone,” answers Dave. “That or you get lonely going anywhere without me.”
“What sort of shitcake-eating numbnut was I for ever thinking you might be
anything but a hindrance to this?” you say, taking a step closer. You’re
furious, and you don’t know what the hell you’re going to do because you want
to slap him but you know Terezi is still watching and this was supposed to be
about her shitty caliginous relationship, not your vaguely-caliginous simmering
feelings for Dave, which are not and will never be relevant to this or any
other fucking situation.
“You know, Karkat, you really aren’t disproving my assertion about your current
quadrant status. You simply keep providing evidence to fuel the prosecution’s
case!”
“Yeah, I sometimes get bored and space out during trashy romance novel
storytime with Karkat, but I’ve gathered enough to know you’re definitely
coming onto me in spades. Next thing I know, you’re going to be kissing me and
I’m gonna have to beat you off with my sword except that’s only gonna egg you
on because knowing you freaky trolls, you’re a masochist too.”
“Dave’s right,” Terezi adds gleefully. “The only logical next step is for you
to kiss him.”
You’ve lost control of the situation. This is no longer about Terezi and
Gamzee’s clearly ill-fated kismessitude, but rather about some feelings for
Dave you have done such a good job of ignoring and clearly not quite so good of
a job of hiding. It only adds insult to injury that the way Terezi smiles
confidently and ever-so-slightly cruelly gets to you as well, reminding you yet
again of everything you love and hate about her.
You turn back to Dave and the look on his face is bordering on amused, like
he’s waiting to ramp this up another few notches before admitting you’re
hilarious when furious. Like he doesn’t think you would actually do anything
because youre too chickenshit and you close in on him and he doesn’t fucking
budge though he does twitch like you actually did fucking catch him by surprise
when your mouth collides with his.
You can hear Terezi sniff and take a step closer as you taste Dave’s lips. He
doesn’t fight you, but he’s either too shocked or too repulsed to reciprocate.
Before you have more than a second to think about what a fucking mistake you’ve
made, your thought process is cut short by the feel of Terezi’s arms wrapping
around your waist. You pull away and are promptly spun around.
“But Gamzee,” you squeak, in a desperate attempt to distract from what you just
did and focus on what you should be doing. Your cheeks flush as you realize how
blatantly your voice gives away that you’re nervous, jumping half a fucking
octave when you spoke, because you definitely needed one more embarrassment
right now.
“We’re black, so this is perfectly within the rules.” She’s purposefully
misunderstanding you, but you can’t bring yourself to correct her because she’s
tilting her head down. You straighten up and turn up to meet her, closing the
small but undeniable height gap between you. You should correct her, but you
don’t want to correct her; you want to kiss her. You don’t have to. She does it
for you. Her lips are fuller and softer than Dave’s, and she squeezes your hips
as she flicks her tongue out hungrily.
The kiss ends more abruptly than you expect, and you immediately look behind
you. It must be something to do with Dave, you realize with an uncomfortable
feeling, and indeed, he’s taken a step back, and looks like he feels acutely
out of place.
“Dave, where do you think you’re going?” Terezi asks before you have a chance
to articulate a more colorful version of the same inquiry.
“Vantas never warned me that intervening with a friend’s shitty quadrant
choices would devolve into an interspecies threeway.”
Your blood pusher leaps into your throat, but thankfully Terezi’s attention is
focused on the human so you can hope she misses your expression. A threeway?
What the actual fuck? That wasn’t at all what you were going for, not something
you ever seriously considered and even if you had it wouldn’t be relevant to
this, obviously. Wait. No. It’s Dave; he’s kidding. The asswipe purposefully
misreads everything related to troll romance.
“Is that concern I hear in your voice, cool kid?” Terezi asks him. Your heart
flips again at how deadpan she is. You are /not/ taking anything that comes out
of her mouth as any actual suggestion of possibility.
“If you’re questioning my -”
“Also, no one mentioned a threesome,” she interrupts. “Your imagination is
really getting carried away.” Terezi’s eyebrows lower conspiratorially as her
grin widens. “Not that the court has an objection.”
The human’s gaze moves from Terezi to you, and you try to scowl because he’s
just as guilty as she is for this all going assbackwards, but you think you
fail. Dave’s expression softens slightly and you’re struck by a pang of desire.
God fucking damn it.
“Well, however the fuck this conversation is going to go down, our fearless
leader planned poorly by thinking we should have it in the common area,” Dave
says. “Can you imagine if Rose and Kanaya walked in on this? We’d never live it
down.”
“I picked a neutral meeting place for this emotionally charged conversation,
you shitstain!” you bark.
“Mmm, charged,” Terezi repeats unhelpfully, licking her lips. “I can positively
taste the tension in the air.”
“And where do you geniuses suggest we go?” you ask, sounding especially
irritable to disguise the serious case of nerves currently afflicting you.
“Follow me!” Terezi replies, grabbing one of your hands and one of Dave’s. At
first you think he might shake her off, but no, he follows. A few steps along
the way, you catch him squeezing her hand. The way he looks at her, you know he
hasn’t really let go of her. Then again, neither have you. You two can lie to
each other, but not to yourselves. And, apparently, not to her.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Terezi's respiteblock is big, and you notice that in addition to her
recuperacoon, there's a large bed. The sheets are neatly made and there are a
couple of scalemates on it, but as you get closer, you spot a few drops of
purple splattered on the white-and-rainbow cover. Your stomach turns over and
for a second you just want to run out of the room. But you look back to Terezi,
who’s grinning madly at you and Dave. She squeezes your hand and, you can guess
from their reactions, Dave's too. For one sick moment you aren't sure if you're
jealous of her or of Dave. You shake the thought out of your head.
As Terezi kicks off her shoes and sits on the edge of the bed, you realize this
is it. Something is going to happen. You came into this conversation with a
purpose, but Terezi - with unwitting help from Dave - has hijacked it into
something entirely different. You’d be more pissed about it if you weren’t a
mess with desire and nerves that you’re desperately fighting to not show.
Wait, no, you should get back on track. You should do something. Maybe you need
to snap Dave out of his awkward, hands-shoved-in-pockets pose to confront
Terezi with you. You look to the human and open your mouth, but your eyes fall
to his lips, lips that you just kissed a few minutes ago, and your words die in
your throat.
Who are you kidding? You’ve lost control. Terezi’s not going to let you steer
this ship, and she’s not letting you leave she gets whatever it is that she
wants. You can tell by how she beckons both of you, using both of her sharp-
nailed hands, that she wants you and she wants Dave, right now. The thought
makes your nook ache with need, even as your think pan reviews the million and
a half ways this could go wrong.
Belatedly, you realize you're still holding out the hand that Terezi released,
and you slowly lower it. You step towards her and glance over to Dave to see if
he’s going to do likewise, only to see him pointedly examining the wall.
“For a someone who's so much talk, you get remarkably terse when there's
actually shit to do,” you snap at him. You feel a stab of guilt that Dave looks
so terribly uncomfortable; you blame yourself for it. You know he still wants
Terezi, so obviously it must be your presence that’s making this weird for him.
Plus, you kissed him; you’re such an idiot. You may harbor stupid, weak, half-
buried caliginous feelings for him, which you should have kept entirely under
wraps, but of course he doesn’t feel that way about you.
“Seconded,” cackles Terezi. “I’m terribly disappointed by your lack of witty
lines right now. If you’re not going to be clever, you should put your mouth to
good use in some other way.”
“Well that right there has some scandalous implications,” Dave replies dryly.
“But you’d never ask me to do anything that would violate my poor, virginous
sense of propriety, now would you?”
“I don’t know, does kissing an alien boy qualify as a violation of your
delicate sensibilities?”
“If it’s done while some alien girl is sniffing at us and jilling off, it
might.” When Dave sees Terezi’s mildly confused look he supplies a completely
uncalled for list of synonyms. “Whacking off. Rubbing one out. Spanking the
monkey. Getting handsy with herself.”
“Well, how could I not get excited watching two beautiful boys who hate each
other very much finally getting intimately acquainted with each other’s
tongues? But Dave, you’re getting quite ahead of the rest of us here once
again, thinking I’d be touching myself as I witnessed this? The way you put it,
it almost sounds like you want me to.” Terezi teasingly places a finger on the
button of her pants, and you catch Dave’s poker face waver as he flushes
slightly.
“I’d like to consult with my lawyer before continuing this line of questioning.
I know everything I say here can and will be used against me so you’re gonna
have to drag my ass to court rather than questioning me in these sketchy,
pseudo-legal circumstances if you want me to say any more on the matter.”
“Your Earth legal system is so quaint. What makes you think I’ll let you
consult with your lawyer? Besides, your weak attempts at evasion are useless.
The air is thick with your desire.” Terezi licks her lips slowly, with
undisguised enjoyment.
“Yeah just thinking about swapping spit with a short, irritable troll is making
me hard as fucking diamonds. My dick could drill through concrete right now.
It’s a serious occupational hazard for all you aliens lined up to ride the D-
Strider; if you get too carried away it’ll jackhammer you in two. I’m not sure
any of you are ready for this fucking adamantine rod. It really should come
with a warning label. I’d offer you hardhats but that’s not going to offer you
any real protection against this baby.”
“Dave.”
“Terezi?”
“Shut up and kiss him already.”
Your eyes meet Dave’s shades hopefully, but he’s not exactly rushing to obey
her. Suddenly embarrassed that you thought he actually would do so, you stare
aggressively at the viridian rug.
You hear him moving; he must be leaving. You can’t believe he even came to her
room in the first place. But no, you see his feet and you feel him coming in
towards you. That’s his hand burying into your hair and tilting your face up.
Dave’s lips meet yours for the second time in the last half hour, and a spark
lights up your entire body.
You’re strangely aware of how awkward your arms are just hanging there, but you
don’t know where to put them. For better or for worse, you don’t have long to
consider it, since moments later, Terezi is on her feet, wrapping one arm
around each of you.
You and Dave part lips and look to her. There's a dull throb of jealousy when
she goes in for him first, tilting her head and just barely poking his cheek
with her pointy nose as they figure out the best angle. Terezi's moving
fiercely whereas Dave's moves are slightly hesitant. You can tell he's trying
to seem cool, but you know him well enough now to see that it's more shyness
than calmness when he lets her take control. He places a hand on her shoulder,
squeezing it, and you bite your lip. His lack of romantic expertise here is
painfully obvious.
Then again, how much can your alleged expertise assist you here? Of the dozens,
if not hundreds of romantic comedies you've seen, you can count on one hand how
many deal with how to have a threeway interaction with your former potential
matesprit and her ex-matesprit who also happens to be your pal and object of
some degree of pitch interest. When Terezi ends the kiss to come in for you,
you reach out, placing a hand on the back on her head.
Your mind flashes back to your first - and what you also had assumed was your
last - kiss with her, what feels like millennia ago. Her tongue is as curious
and pointed as you remember it, penetrating your mouth to find your own tongue
and tickle it. It's a weird sensation but impossibly erotic as well, the way
she licks and pulls back to make you chase her tongue with yours. The way she
maneuvers and dances with your tongue, nimbly avoiding her sharp teeth as well
as your own, sends a wave of desire all the way down to your nook.
It ends far too soon. You reluctantly release her hair and look back to Dave
when she withdraws. Her hands slide up until they rest on the backs of your
necks. Dave shrugs, regaining a bit of his blasé attitude. Black feelings flare
in you again upon catching a flash of smirk on his lips, and you fist his shirt
with both hands and mash your lips against his once again. Terezi makes a lewd
noise, something between a whistle and a purr, and you can feel her breath as
she leans in. You don't miss the sound of her sniffing, apparently inhaling the
scent of you and Dave swapping spit.
“Your passion smells positively intoxicating. It’s like cherries dipped in dark
chocolate, the scents of your delicious sweet blood and the subtle but
undeniable caliginous desire between you.”
"I'm delighted we can put on a show for you," you snap sarcastically, releasing
Dave.
"Good, because I expect that we’re just getting started," she replies with a
grin, grabbing the hem of your shirt and slowly lifting it. You inhale sharply;
now that you're in her space, she seems to have no hesitation about steering
this in the direction she wants. Suddenly, you imagine all three of you naked
on her bed; you aren't sure whether the image intimidates you or turns you on.
As Terezi lets one finger on each hand lazily scratch your torso as she hikes
up your shirt further, sending mild, warm pain through you, you lose your will
to resist. You lift your arms and let her pull it off of you.
"You next!" she says excitedly, reaching for Dave.
"Remember what I told you about my chest?" says Dave, not moving his arms.
"Right." Terezi's expression darkens slightly. "Should I leave your shirt alone
then?"
"Go ahead and take it off, just don’t mess with the layers underneath it. As
much as I know you want to lick every inch of me, a man of my status has gotta
draw a few lines."
Terezi nods seriously. You have no idea what the hell they're talking about
until she lifts up his shirt and tosses it to the ground. Underneath, he's
wearing a white a-shirt and you can see the edges of another white garment
under that. Without his god tier top, you see that his chest is slightly
curved, and you remember some articles you read on human sexual dimorphism. He
must have - what's the term - gynecomastia? It happened amongst trolls
occasionally too, but troll women tended to have small chests anyway so the
difference was less stark and not one of particular embarrassment - and
certainly not one that required special garments. It doesn't seem like the sort
of thing to comment on though, considering how seriously Terezi seems to be
taking it.
"To bed, both of you!" Terezi commands, waving both of you to said piece of
furniture.
You comply and Dave follows. To your surprise, he sits next to you, not quite
close enough to touch, but enough so that Terezi can't fit between you two. Or
couldn't until she shoves herself between you and Dave anyway, half-sitting on
you and crushing your hand under her bony ass.
"Dammit, Terezi, that's my hand!" you exclaim, trying to pull yourself out from
under her. Dave scoots over, and you both try to avoid Terezi elbowing you in
the face as she positions herself with little regard for the bodily integrity
of either of you.
"Oops," she replies, though she doesn't sound at all sorry. "I couldn't tell
exactly where you two were. I figured you would make room for me, you
doofuses!"
"Our bad," says Dave. "Of course you would want to be in the middle of a
Strider-Vantas sandwich."
"This is about me after all," Terezi reminds you half-jokingly. From the way
Dave turns his head away slightly, you guess his mind is doing the same as
yours, jumping to thoughts of Terezi and Gamzee. He probably feels as
uncomfortable about it as you do, if not more so.
She's settled down between you two now, one hand sliding up Dave's back, and
the other on your knee. You place one hand on top of hers, marveling how even
such casual touch from her hits you in the blood pusher.
Dave turns his head to her and she moves in. Instead of aiming for his lips,
she goes for the edge of his jaw, in towards his ear. The angle isn't ideal for
you to see precisely what she's doing, but as her tongue comes out, you see how
Dave's hand clenches her shirt and he tips his head back in pleasure.
You squeeze her hand. She returns the gesture, still focused on what appears to
be tracing the shell of Dave's ear with her tongue.
He's hot. The thought comes to mind suddenly - completely uninvited - but can't
be shoved back out. This is it; you've finally admitted it to yourself, and you
feel small and vulnerable even though he isn't even paying attention to you
right now. His blond hair shines, reflecting the light like a goddamn troll
Pantene commercial. The way his fine, long fingers slide down Terezi's thigh to
grip her knee makes you envy her for a moment, instead of the other way around.
His arms are slender but have undeniable muscle definition. You want to run
your hands up those arms and grab his shoulders. You want to make his small
mouth open like that, just barely parting his lips, but enough to undeniably
mar his usually nonchalant demeanor.
Terezi pulls back from him, and you don't miss how he follows her for an inch
before halting and straightening back up. His mouth closes and he reaches to
adjust his shades, but Terezi releases his back and snakes her hand out from
between yours to make a grab for them too. Her hands land on his and there's a
moment of stillness and silence as they stare at each other through two sets of
shades. It lingers long enough that you wonder if they're messaging each other
with their fancy neural link glasses. The sick heaviness of jealousy is just
going to keep coming back to you, isn't it?
Terezi must have said something, as Dave reluctantly unhands his shades. At
least this means you won’t have to guess or worry if they’re messaging each
other on Trollian any more. Terezi removes them and hands them back to Dave,
who tosses them over to land with a quiet clatter on his shirt.
You avert your eyes, wanting to miss whatever stupid, sappy eye-gazing moment
they might be having. Whatever it is, it doesn't last long before Terezi's hand
is on your bare chest and you look back to her. She places her fingertips on
your collarbone and runs them down across your soft excuse for pecs and across
the pudgy expanse of your stomach. She's never felt you shirtless before, and
you tense up with self-consciousness.
"Relax," she says, poking you in the belly, feeling the tightened muscle
beneath the layer of fat.
"Oh I'm sorry, I'll just consciously choose to stop feeling anything less than
cool as an ice cube," you snap. It's grumpier than you should be, you know as
the words spill out, but you're nervous and you can't just choose to calm down.
That's not how emotions work! What you wouldn't give for that to be the case.
"You have my permission to feel hot and bothered as well," Terezi says with a
wicked smile.
"How fucking generous-" You would go on, but she cuts you off with her lips,
and yeah, kissing her is preferable to ranting. You nearly jump though as her
hands move further south and fumble with the button of your pants. You make a
startled noise into her mouth, and she responds with an amused one into yours.
Once she has the fly of your pants open, she gives you a parting nibble and
ends the kiss.
"As much as I love pants, they no longer serve a purpose here," she announces.
"I hereby declare this bed a no-pants zone. Violators will be subject to
forcible de-pantsing!"
With that, she unfastens her offending clothing item and wiggles out of them
with impressive speed, especially given that she's still sandwiched between you
and Dave. You follow suit, and though he seems to be in less of a rush that
Terezi, the human complies as well.
“Hmmm,” says Terezi thoughtfully, rubbing her chin.
You and Dave immediately look at each other. It’s strange to make eye contact
with him. No, not strange - completely unfamiliar. His eyes are more expressive
than the rest of his usually-composed face, brilliant red irises under thick
blond lashes. He breaks away quickly to focus on Terezi again and you do
likewise.
“What is it?” you ask her a bit impatiently, if only to mask your trepidation.
“Pants removal isn’t sufficient,” she declares. “Dave, I want your boxers off.
As a gesture of goodwill, I surrender my shirt.”
Sure enough, she rips off her own shirt - hitting you painfully in the temple
with her elbow in the process - but Dave remains perfectly still. Too still,
even for him, like he’s been frozen.
“You can leave your package on,” she says to him once her shirt’s on the
ground. You have no fucking clue what she’s talking about, but Dave visibly
relaxes.
“Packer,” he replies. “But ok. Only if you take your underwear off too. You
already got my shirt.”
“You drive such a hard bargain,” she laughs.
It’s dumb and a bit cowardly, but you you scooch the foot or so to the edge of
the bed and grab at the comforter. You shouldn’t feel left out so easily, but
you do. She’s trying to get more clothes off of him, but not off of you. Does
she find him more attractive?
Dave lifts his hips and pulls down his boxers. You sneak a look and promptly do
a double-take, because he’s definitely still wearing something. Is this a
“packer”? There’s dark fabric over his crotch, covering the unsubtle bulge of
his genitalia. It’s not ridiculously exaggerated enough to be a codpiece, but
that’s the closest comparison you can find. You want to get a closer look and
figure out what exactly it is, but you resist the urge.
Terezi shoos Dave off the bed to pull down the comforter and top sheet, which
requires you to stand up as well. Once done, she runs a hand through your hair
and gives you a brief but deep kiss before grabbing Dave and doing the same to
him. When she pulls her mouth away from his, she leans in to whisper in his
ear, and you just barely catch what she says.
“I want to be inside of you.”
He tilts his head down, and you don’t hear the response, but you do hear her
quiet cackle followed by, “Of course.”
“Karkat,” she continues, “please proceed to the bed and get yourself
comfortable.”
You do so, moving all the way to the other edge to give them plenty of space.
There isn’t a headboard, but you do your best (which isn’t very good) to sit
near the end of the bed comfortably and not awkwardly.
With a bit of nudging from Terezi, Dave positions himself prone on the bed,
head up near you. Your eyes wander down his body, lingering on his rounded ass
and the black straps of his last remaining clothing item around his waist and
under each buttock.
“What, you’ve never seen an ass this plush this before?” asks Dave, resting his
head on the pillow, pretending to be chill as ever as he looks up at you. Out
of the corner of your eye, you see Terezi wandering off to rummage through a
dresser. “Or you just haven’t seen anyone’s ass before, outside of whatever
weird troll porn you watch?”
“Why the fuck would you think I’m looking at your ass?” You can feel the heat
rising on your cheeks, but idiot that you are, you blabber on anyway. “I’m not
the one who’s interested in cross-species fucking escapades here, and I would
rather burn my corneas to a crisp by staring at the literally blinding
Alternian sun than I would look at whatever gross, hairy, pasty excuse for a
butt you have.”
“Don’t lie to me; you’re totally getting a wriggly tenta-boner staring at my
ass. It’s ok, dude; no homo.”
“Tenta-boner? Do you know anything about troll anatomy?”
“Enough, but you’re not the one I want to learn it from.”
“You self-absorbed wad of festering fucking sewage-” His words cut you much
deeper than you should let them. You two kissed, more than once, and yet he’s
acting like you’re fucking disgusting. You could and would go on and on, but
Terezi interrupts you.
“Boys, we’re not letting this take a turn for the caliginous!”
When Terezi closes in a few moments later, she’s down to just a slender, curved
teal strap-on and its harness. She gleefully climbs onto the bed, holding a
tube of lube and a couple of gloves, and gives you a lascivious smile, which
you return with all the grace of a three-legged woolbeast when your face twists
into what must be an ugly combination of nervousness and a botched attempt to
return the grin.
You pull the sheet around you as you watch Terezi slide over Dave, her tongue
running up his spine, all the way to the back of his neck. He shivers visibly
and turns his naked face to press it into the pillow.
“Are you being shy, cool kid?” Terezi cackles.
“Nah,” he replies, voice muffled. “I’m just getting better acquainted with this
fruity rainbow of flavors on your pillow.”
“Nice try, Dave, but the pillow’s colors do not taste ‘fruity’,” she replies.
She licks his neck pointedly again and grips her strap-on. “You’re definitely
being shy. Are you sure you’re ready?” You don’t miss the hint of tenderness in
her voice.
“I was born ready for an alien dildo to go up my ass,” Dave replies. He shifts
his ass a little higher in the air and Terezi pulls back to run her hands along
his derriere.
She pulls on a glove and slathers two fingers in lube. Your feel like your nook
shouldn't be getting wet as she slides the fingers between his cheeks,
beginning to run against the entrance there, but nevertheless your briefs feel
surprisingly damp. It’s not quite the same, but you’ve imagined being on all
fours with Terezi behind you, fingering your nook and preparing to sink into
you with her strap-on.
“Jesus dick, Terezi, that’s cold,” he breathes, pulling himself up slightly
with his elbows, face now a few inches from the pillow. You don’t miss the
color on his cheeks.
“Is that a problem?” Terezi doesn’t slow her motions.
“Nah, it’s fine. You just could give a guy a warning in the future.”
“Oops. Don’t worry; it’ll warm up soon.”
While you haven’t fantasized much about anal play, if this is any indication,
maybe you should. Dave adjusts his arms, one hand grabbing the pillow, and the
other resting beside your knee. You take the hand he’s so unsubtly positioned
by you and hold it as you watch Terezi working. She away for a moment to
squeeze more lube onto her glove hand, then returns it to between his
asscheeks. Judging by the loud gasp from Dave and how he squeezes your hand,
she’s now doing more than circling and teasing to press a finger in past the
ring of muscle.
“I just told you to warn me, Terezi,” he hisses. “Fuck, that shit’s as cold as
the North Pole in the dead of January here. I half-expect a family of polar
bears to come busting in holding a six pack of Coca-Cola.”
Terezi shakes her head in exasperation. You only understand half of what just
came out of his mouth too so you aren’t surprised when Terezi playfully smacks
his butt with her hand.
“Karkat, I need your help,” she tells you. “Dave thinks that he’s clever, and
he usually is, but now isn’t the time for this. We need to keep his mouth
occupied while I'm doing this.”
You slowly pull the sheet off of yourself, straightening up and wondering what
exactly she wants you to do, to have her interrupt with, “Are you still wearing
something? I still smell clothing, Karkat. Fix this immediately.”
Obediently, you strip off your last remaining piece of clothing and throw it
over the side of the bed. Now naked, you shift closer to Dave, self-conscious
and uncertain. Your heart’s pounding, giddy and nervous and feeling stupid all
at once, eyes moving between grinning Terezi with her perky, naked chest, and
Dave’s flushed face.
“Up near his mouth,” says Terezi. “It’s time we put it to better use, and I
certainly wouldn’t want to leave you out.”
Oh. You blush crimson. Dave unhands the pillow and props himself up further,
biting his bottom lip in a not-quite-successfully attempt to stifle another
gasp. He inhales deeply and looks at you.
“Come on, Vantas,” he says. “You’re not going to pussy out now, are you?”
“Of course I’m not fucking wussing out,” you snap, grabbing the pillow away
from him. As you throw it to the ground, masking your nerves in exaggerated
hostility, you realize he might be taking a similar tactic. You glare down at
him and when he meets your eyes, you swear you can see a subtly burning pitch
spark in them.
You awkwardly move to position your crotch by Dave's mouth. You lean back
slightly, propping yourself up on your elbows while Dave grabs your thighs. The
angle gives you an imperfect view of Terezi on Dave, and gets Dave's face right
up against your nook.
“Think you’re ready for more?” asks Terezi. You open your mouth and stop,
mentally slapping yourself since clearly it’s a question for Dave. Whether it’s
about where his mouth is or where her hands are going, you can’t say.
“Yeah, I can take more,” he replies. Terezi’s arm shifts back, and then slowly
inwards again. You can feel Dave’s warm breath against the outside of your nook
as he exhales, tilting his head down so much that all you can see is his fine,
soft hair. “I really expected one of you two to have a tenta-dick,” he
continues, breath hitching only slightly. “Were those just, ah, something you
guys came up with to fuck with us? Do they pop out of your vaginas like a trick
snake at some point? Am I gonna be surprised with a mouthful of tenta-dick
halfway through this?”
“No, you idiot.” You roll your eyes, balancing on one elbow so you can do a
half-assed facepalm before returning to your previous position. This isn’t
going to be comfortable for too long. “I have a nook, and judging by her
equipment, Terezi does too.”
“Yup!” she chimes in.
“Then who does have a bulge?” Dave asks.
“Trolls who have bulges are the ones who have bulges, you numbskull. Why the
fuck is this confusing?”
Dave doesn’t say anything to that.
“Dave, there is no relationship between gender and genitals in trolls,” Terezi
clarifies.
“What the fuck?” you blurt out. “Wait, that’s a thing with humans?”
“Yes, though there are exceptions in humans too,” Terezi says.
“You coulda told me that sooner,” Dave mutters. He sounds almost… hurt? As you
look over his body, down to the straps of the packer garment, then back up to
his downturned face, everything snaps into place. You’re not sure what - if
anything - you should say, but luckily Terezi spares you the trouble.
“Now that we’ve satisfied your lewd curiosity, I think it’s time you took a
less theoretical lesson in troll anatomy.”
“K.”
Dave promptly buries his face in your thigh, planting warm kisses against your
skin. For someone who claimed just a few minutes ago that he didn’t want to
learn about troll genitalia from you, he sure seems to be taking it in stride.
He licks and sucks and nips your skin, offering you the tiniest tingle of pain
to accompany the currents of arousal flowing through you. It’s teasing, the way
he moves in, inch by tantalizing inch, making soft noises against you at uneven
increments, presumably tied to Terezi’s fingers up his ass.
The thought of Terezi only makes you wetter as you look to her. Her body’s as
slender as Dave’s, breasts small but perky, waist subtle but just… perfect.
She’s perfect, yet she feels so far away. You’re being dumb; you should be
enjoying yourself, and fuck, you are, but Terezi isn’t yours, and she’s not
even touching you. It hits you that all too soon, this is going to be over, and
you’re going to regret wasting time feeling down and pining for her.
You try to focus on Dave again, which is somewhat successful. Thoughts of
Terezi’s distance from you linger, but at least they’re not the main thing in
your think pan now as you focus on what Dave’s doing with his mouth. He’s still
moving too fucking slowly, so you grab his hair with one hand and tug on it
gently. You’re not going to force him to hurry up, because you aren’t a
complete asswipe, but you can at least share your displeasure with him. When
you tighten your grip, he moans. You’re not sure whether it was you or Terezi,
so you loosen and then grasp hard again.
“Fuck,” he gasps against you, bitter yet aroused. You’re not sure whether his
utterance is masochistic or caliginous, but either way, it’s good.
“Dave, you have such a wonderful ass,” Terezi coos. “It’s being very
cooperative.”
“It’s just great like that,” he replies before biting your leg only somewhat
gently. You yelp, but they both ignore you.
“I think it’s ready for the Tentacle of Justice. What about you?”
“You fucking named your dildo the ‘Tentacle of Justice’?!” you exclaim.
“I can’t tell if that’s ironic or just fucking terrible,” says Dave, releasing
your thigh to reply to her.
“Ironic, and perfect,” she declares, moving her hand to grip said dildo. “But I
believe you were ordered to be silent, weren’t you?”
“And now you punish me by sticking Tentacle of Justice up my ass?”
“Any last words?”
If Dave had any - which he probably did, because when the hell doesn’t he have
something snarky to respond with - they’re lost as Terezi thrusts her hips
forward, driving his mouth right up against the crook between your thigh and
your nook. All he gets out is a muffled cry, giving you a bit of schadenfreude.
His cool kid status is now officially stripped away, and he has nothing left to
be cocky about. It’s hard to believe that an hour ago, he was the one making
you embarrassed. Though then again, Terezi has both of you under her thumb like
a couple of wriggling grubs, and is doing an excellent job pounding you into
fresh grubsauce.
It takes Dave a moment to recover, but when he does, he moves his head to the
left slightly to finally press his lips against the folds of your nook. You try
to not groan and fail spectacularly when he flicks out his tongue and brushes
it against the tiny tidbit of vestigial bulge tissue right up where your folds
meet. He digs his fingers into your thighs as he moves his tongue down,
exploring every detail and crevice of your most intimate spot.
Your elbows are starting to hurt, so you push yourself up onto your hands. Why
are you starting to get really uncomfortable now, when Dave’s finally licking
you?
“Terezi,” you gasp, “Can you, fuck, scoot back?”
“Hmm? Oh, sure.” She places both hands on Dave’s waist (the glove gone,
probably tossed aside somewhere) and pulls him with her as she moves almost to
the edge of the bed, her feet now hanging off the other end. It’s still not
quite enough room for you to lie down, so you grab Dave’s hands and turn him
with you as you adjust your angle, placing your head on the pillow on one
corner of the bed. Between you and Terezi, you get the human straightened out -
and he remarkably doesn’t stop eating you out the whole time, fucking liar who
said he didn’t want to be up in your junk - and all three of you in a diagonal
across the bed. Why are threesome logistics so difficult?
Once you’re all positioned properly, Terezi keeps one hand on Dave’s waist and
moves the other down to fondle him through the packer - or fondle the packer
itself; you can’t really tell. Now in a more stable position, Dave starts to
use his tongue in earnest, pressing it slightly inside of you and forcing more
than one indignant, pleased noise from you. Your entire body feels tight with
arousal now, and the hand not in his hair you rest on your stomach, sorely
tempted to move it lower so you can touch your nub while he continues to thrust
in and out of you. It feels so good but it’s not enough, and you wildly wish he
had his fingers in you too. You’re greedy and ridiculous because nothing’s ever
enough, nothing was ever enough with Terezi which is why you started sending
her black signals too and fucked the whole thing over, and now you have both of
them in bed and you’re still fucking complaining. What the fuck is even wrong
with you?
Dave makes a long, drawn-out groan against your nook as Terezi thrusts her hips
forcefully, and you echo it, though yours is muffled by nothing, which makes it
sound all the more shameless. Without thinking much more than fuck it, your
hand slips down lower and you bump the bridge of Dave’s nose as your fingers
find your proto-bulge. If Dave has an objection, he shows no sign of it; if
anything, he seems to take this as a sign to get down to fucking business, and
his motions become more methodical.
You circle your nub with two fingers, massaging yourself the best you can
without hitting that sensitive spot too hard. Of course, with Dave’s mouth
still in the way and your sloppy state of arousal, your efforts aren’t perfect,
and you shudder more than once when you accidentally run your fingers right
over it. Each time it feels amazing but just too intense, and expletives slip
past your lips as you try to regain the right rhythm of your motions.
From the looks of it, Terezi’s breathing heavily too, her tongue visible
between parted lips as she fucks Dave. She’s moving quickly now, so you can
only assume he’s fully acclimated to her. Well, as fully as he can, since his
noises are so frequent he may as well just be humming against you.
Suddenly, you hear a buzzing noise. It jolts you out of your steady trek
towards orgasm as Dave’s voice jumps a fucking octave and his previously steady
motions turn erratic. You look around in surprise, trying to figure out where
the hell it’s coming from, only to see Terezi starting to laugh. That’s her
strap-on that’s buzzing, probably vibrating inside of Dave’s ass, and damn, he
apparently loves it. He sounds positively pathetic now, whimpering into your
nook as he shakily tries to tongue-fuck you. Once again, you feel a rush of
delight in him falling apart, and it pushes you closer towards the brink as you
touch yourself furiously.
It doesn’t take much longer. Even with Dave’s work now reduced to uneven licks
and long moans that practically reverberate within you, that combined with
watching Terezi fuck him and knowing that Dave is falling apart, led by your
years-practiced skills with your fingers, gets you there. Your legs tense and
you arch your back as orgasm hits you like an army of drones, making you shout
and shake and twist your hand in Dave’s hair as genetic material spills out of
you.
“Sorry,” you manage to breath out, releasing his hair and feeling guilty even
before the climax died off. Dave shakes his head a bit but seems to be ok and
doesn’t pull back, even though he’s got to be half-covered in your cum now. You
sink back against the mattress, your nook now feeling particularly tender with
even the slightest movement of his tongue. It feels good, if a little powerful,
as you start to come down. Your taint feels unpleasantly sticky, but once
again, you scold your inane think pan for having such utterly useless
complaints. Can’t you be happy about anything?
Once your body no longer feels too stiff to move, you push yourself up onto
your elbows to get a better look. Terezi is working her hand doing something to
Dave’s packer while she continues to press inside of him. His knees are wider
apart now as he slowly sinks towards the mattress. Tirelessly, he licks you in
between his now-crescendoing noises, and you wonder if he’s close to coming.
The possibility hits you with a new spark of desire, and you reach down to
touch yourself again. Why the fuck not, at this point?
Suddenly, Dave’s fingernails dig into your thighs painfully and his tongue
retracts from you. He cries out right against your nook, his entire body
visibly shaking. If human orgasms are anything like troll ones, he just came,
he’s orgasming with his hot mouth on your nook and sending ripples of pleasure
through your body from the vibrations of his noises and the beauty of how he
has come undone. It takes you only moments to get your second climax, pure
ecstasy coursing through your veins as Dave slumps into your crotch, trying
vainly to regain his breath. The peak is sharper and faster this time, and you
reach out to gingerly pet Dave’s hair as it floods back out of you as quickly
as it came.
Terezi pulls out and Dave fully sinks against the bed. She hops off the bed,
scooping up the glove and lubricant, and heads back over to her dresser. You
reach down and pull at Dave’s armpits. It’s not an ideal angle, but he figures
out what you want and shifts up so that he collapses onto you, his red-stained
chin smearing cum all up your abdomen until he rests his face on your chest.
His arms wrap around you as best they can, and his fingers seem almost loving
the way they touch your shoulders.
“Thank you,” you whisper, not sure if you’re thanking him for the cunnilingus
or for the cuddling right now, which feels just as intimate in its own way. The
silky material of his lower garment is pressed against your leg, and you can
feel a bulge-like length and possibly something akin to shame globes within.
You run a hand down his still-clothed back and rest it on his waist, right
where the shirt meets the packer strap.
You’ve almost completely forgotten Terezi when a couple of minutes later she
rejoins you on the bed, now without her strap-on and other supplies. That alone
makes you feel a bit strange. Are you really so attracted to Dave that his
presence eclipsed hers, even if only for a hazy, post-orgasmic minute or two?
“Did you enjoy yourselves?” she asks as she lies down beside you, placing an
arm over Dave, hand dangling down to lightly stroke your arm.
“No, that was fucking miserable,” you reply with exhausted sarcasm. Terezi just
smiles before leaning in to press a kiss against Dave’s cheek.
“It was pretty alright,” he says, deadpan back in action.
“Just alright? We have multiple witnesses who can attest to the nature and
intensity of noises you were producing throughout this experience,” she teases.
“Maybe I was just playing it up to please a certain crazy troll lady.” You
catch something darker sneaking into Dave’s voice. Your grip around him
tightens, and you feel your blood pusher quickening slightly. Something feels
off, but you’re probably just imagining it. “How was it for you?”
“I’m not the one being questioned here,” says Terezi with a sharp grin. “But,”
she adds conspiratorially, “off the record I enjoyed myself quite a lot too. It
was pretty excellent.”
“Excellent enough that you’ll give up your caliginous clown fucking for it?”
Your blood runs cold in your veins as you see Terezi’s eyebrows plummet and her
grin pull into an uncharacteristically severe, unyielding line. The Gamzee
issue was the whole point of this conversation, but to bring it up now, like
this…
You can’t see Dave’s expression, but you feel his grip on you tighten as Terezi
pulls away and sits up.
“Was that part of your master plan, Dave?” she says, voice eerily cold. You’ve
heard her exasperated and annoyed before, but never like this. “You can’t
accept my autonomy, so you went along with this in hopes that your mad skills
in bed would change my mind?”
“I do accept your autonomy,” he says, wiping his cum-covered mouth off with the
back of his hand. He pushes himself up onto his hands, and you see his
expression is as flat as his voice. “I accept that you’re making a stupid
fucking decision.” He stares at your chest as he speaks, not turning to face
her. “Just fucking forget I said anything about it, alright?”
“I think you should put some clothes back on and leave.”
Dave climbs off of you and hops off the bed; you scramble after him without
even thinking about it. The way she’s slightly shaking her head, eyebrows
furrowed and mouth harsh, there’s little doubt that she was referring to you
too. You didn’t even say anything, it was Dave who had to open his mouth at the
wrong time again, but you were the one who started this whole fucking thing
anyway so really the blame comes back to you.
This is all my fault, you think over and over again as you hurriedly don your
clothing, not looking either of them in the eyes. You wince as you pull your
underwear up over your still-damp thighs and crotch, and catch a glimpse of
Dave angrily wiping his face off with his undershirt. It’s not perfect, and
there’s still subtle smears of red on his chin even after he moves on. Terezi’s
just sitting there, and you feel horribly empty except for the pounding of your
heart in your ears. Clothing himself much more efficiently than you, Dave heads
towards the door when you’re in the process of putting on your pants, so you
recklessly grab your socks and shoes and run after him, your fly still open.
The sound of the automatic door slamming behind you makes you cringe, and you
follow Dave down the hallway. He doesn’t look back, or offer you any
acknowledgement of your presence. How is it that two minutes ago he was in your
arms, and now it’s turned into this?
“You should probably stop and put your shoes on,” he says, not stopping nor
even glancing at you. His voice is more than cool; it’s hollow.
“I can fucking make my own wardrobe decisions,” you snap.
“Then go on and keep making the wrong one.”
Seething, you stop and drop your shoes to the ground, reaching up to refasten
your pants. Dave keeps on walking, and you realize he wants you gone. He
doesn’t want to be around you; he can’t stand to look at you. He must blame you
for all this. Your bumbling attempt at intervening in Terezi’s love life landed
all three of you in bed together - and ended it just as abruptly. He said it,
but he wouldn’t have been thinking it if it wasn’t for you. None of this would
have happened if it wasn’t for you.
You sink to the floor, tears brimming in your eyes as you angrily grab a sock
and start to force your foot into it. You’re a fucking mess; you’re a disaster.
They both hate you now, they must, and worse, you can’t deny your feelings for
Dave any more. Judging by his reactions, if you had played your cards right,
you would have had a chance with him, and you destroyed that in a record amount
of time too.
You’re a complete failure at relationships. You’re a failure at everything. The
second sock rips as you claw at it too angrily, and it’s so stupid but that
pushes you over the edge. Tears start to run down your cheeks, and you grab
your knees and hug them in tight, burying your face in your legs. Dave was
right; Terezi’s relationship with Gamzee was none of your business and now
you’ve ruined your only two remaining friendships trying to stick your nose in
where it didn’t belong. You hate yourself.
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