Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/2479598. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Teen_Wolf_(TV) Relationship: Derek_Hale/Stiles_Stilinski, Kate_Argent/Derek_Hale, Jordan_Parrish/ Stiles_Stilinski Character: Stiles_Stilinski, Derek_Hale, Sheriff_Stilinski, Peter_Hale, Alan_Deaton, Scott_McCall, Kate_Argent Additional Tags: Alpha/Omega, play_mating, Omega_Stiles_Stilinski, Alpha_Derek_Hale, Mating_Cycles/In_Heat, Alternate_Universe, High_School, Scenting, Sexual Content, Oblivious_Teenagers, Angst, Canon-Typical_Violence, mpreg references Stats: Published: 2014-10-19 Updated: 2015-02-03 Chapters: 12/? Words: 71309 ****** Play With Me (Stay With Me) ****** by xLostDreamsx Summary A story of play-mating. Stiles knew he had lucked out on being paired with Derek Hale from the age of 13, the guy was hot, he had technique down from the very beginning and each time they touched, electricity sparked. They weren't friends though and Stiles was very well aware their connection was all biology and totally hormone driven. So when the hell did feelings start getting involved? Notes So play mating... what can I say, I just couldn't resist! Such an awesome concept and this is my effort at contributing. I've made up a whole heap of rules and ways in which it all works to be honest, hopefully it won't have too many people scratching their heads in confusion! This is just a whole load of Stiles and Derek rolling around together pretty much... ***** Chapter 1 ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes Stiles caught the unmistakable scent of Derek in the crowded hallway, there was no missing it. He could barely see the guy but he was so aware, so atuned to the scent of his on-coming heat. He buried his head in his locker getting his books for his next class and trying his hardest to pay any kind of attention to what Scott was saying but his mind was starting to be clouded by the thought of what was coming up very soon. He slammed the locker shut as they made their way down the hall, weaving in and out of the crowds of students. Scott was still recounting some story and Stiles found himself half listening as his eyes raked across the people ahead of him. There. There was the inky head of hair. His back was to him and he was stood talking to Erica, shoulders broad and solid, his hip cocked as he held heavy books close and weighing against his stomach. Stiles stared, inhaling his rich scent and feeling a flash of sense memory at the heat of the muscle he knew lay beneath the thin shirt Derek was wearing. He saw the subtle movement of Derek’s nostril’s expand as he approached. Slowly Derek’s head twisted to turn as Stiles walked past. Their eyes met for a second. No emotion crossed their faces and their gazes slid away again. Stiles was able to think clearer the further away he got from Derek and he easily forgot about him for the rest of the day. He got home that night to a text saying simply, It’s tonight. Stiles sighed realising he was going to get behind on his history project but he had no excuse, he had known it would be this week sometime. He tried to subdue his eagerness and took his time getting changed into some comfier clothes and throwing a frozen meal in the microwave. He sat at the kitchen island, forcing himself to take his time and messed with his phone playing random games as he ate. After washing up his dishes, he texted his dad to let him know he’d be out that night and got a response with the standard, stay safe. Stiles bit his lip and smiled feeling the excitement start to race through his veins, as hard as he tried to be unaffected. He grabbed his over-night bag he kept packed and ready by his bed and broke into a trot as he headed out the house, locking up behind him and running for his Jeep. Heading down the street, his heart started to hammer, fingers tapping a fast rhythm on the steering wheel as he traced the familiar path out of town towards the edge of the preserve. Pulling down the winding driveway he forced himself to take steady relaxing breaths whilst smiling to himself. He couldn’t help but hum happily, head light, thoughts calm. He liked these nights, the ones where he had the control. It was Derek’s heat and whilst Stiles would be affected by his scent and hormones leaking into the air, he wasn’t going to be totally driven by the urges. He could enjoy himself. Pulling up at the house, he clambered out the Jeep and as he raised a hand to knock at the front door, Derek pulled it open wide ushering him in. His hair looked wild like he had been running his hands through it all afternoon ruining his usual sleek appearance. His eyes were wide, pupils large and dark and the way he inhaled as Stiles brushed past him was unmistakable. A low growl sounded in his chest and Stiles bit back a grin as he stalked through the house to the kitchen. He was being a bit of a dick but liked to play a little, liked to get Derek eager and desperate. He threw his bag down and opened the cupboard he knew all the snacks were kept in, this house was like a home from home for him after all the years he’d been coming here and Derek’s mom stocked food she knew he liked. He grinned at Derek as he cracked open a packet of cookies and started munching on them. He wasn’t even that hungry but he enjoyed teasing, playing the game. Derek stalked slowly up to the kitchen counter, eyes animalistic in the way they seemed to track each move Stiles made so carefully. Stiles grinned, ‘just getting my sugar levels up dude, need my energy.’ Derek stared at him, still having not spoken a word. He raised his hands to rest on the counter and Stiles noticed the slight tremor there, he wouldn’t be able to string this out much longer. He held out the cookies to offer Derek one who responded with a jerk of his head to say no. Stiles could feel the heat and lust rolling over the Alpha and worked hard to stop himself responding weakly to him. He sauntered over to the fridge to dig out a carton of milk and took a long drink, enjoying the cool liquid soothing his dry throat. Putting the carton away, he turned to find Derek had moved to stand directly in behind him, his head crooked as he stared with heavy lids at Stiles’ throat, hands clenched tightly at his side. He seemed to be reverberating with the tension he was holding in so tightly. He gritted out, ‘you done yet?’ Stiles bit his lip to stop himself grinning and decided to put the poor guy out his misery. He sighed in mock annoyance, ‘guess so, come on then.’ Derek growled low and grabbed Stiles’ shirt sleeve, yanking him up the stairs to his bedroom and slamming the door shut behind them as we went. Before Stiles had the chance to move into the room, Derek spun around and caged him in against the door with arms at either side of his head as he ducked in to press his nose against Stiles’ neck where he took deep and desperate inhalations. Stiles cocked his head for a moment before starting to squirm and pull away. After another second, he dipped low and ducked under Derek’s arm to move into the room where he wondered over to the messy desk piled high with sheets and books. He grinned to himself hearing Derek’s frustrated growl behind him but this was how they did things, he couldn’t give in that easily. Some nights he strung it out longer than others, one memorable time, he spent a long evening chatting with Derek’s sisters in the kitchen with Derek stalking silently behind him, annoyance vibrating beneath his skin. Eventually Derek had pretty much grabbed him and hauled him up the stairs, the laughter of his sister’s ringing out behind them. Tonight he was just teasing a little, just enough to make it worth it. Derek came up behind him and grabbed his shoulders tightly, nose coming to scent at his neck again. His body pressed up tight against him, a long stretch of heat and strength. A thigh butted against the back of his legs, encouraging him to open them up, the rumbling now emitting from Derek causing a natural reaction in Stiles’ Omega DNA to submit, to give the Alpha what he needed. He tamped down on the desire and after a second to ground himself, shifted and pulled himself away from Derek’s grip until he was turning to face him, leaning back against the desk. Dusk was falling and shadows were starting to creep in around the room. The house was silent, Derek’s family still out but the sound-proofing of the room blocked out almost all noise anyway. Stiles cocked his head, ‘eager tonight I see’ he murmured, staring at Derek’s lips, shining red from where Derek had been aggravating the skin with slightly too sharp teeth. Derek stared at his mouth and rumbled as he moved forward, ‘c’mere.’ Stiles felt himself arch his neck in submission before tearing his gaze away and pushing hard past Derek again. Derek whirled as he passed him, an arm snaking out to catch his wrist. Stiles jerked away and stumbled as he freed himself, as his knee hit the floor, he started to pull up again to move away. Derek’s foot caught under his and he stumbled forward again, elbow cracking the floor. ‘Son of a...’ he gritted out as he hunched up cradling his elbow with other hand. Derek was kneeling down at his side in an instant, gaze on his arm, eyes concerned even beneath the veil of heavy lust hanging there. He breathed heavily, waiting to see if Stiles was ok. Stiles shook his arm out, ‘just hit the bone, s’alright’ he reassured before going to stand again. Derek grabbed his ankle and held on. Stiles sighed in mock annoyance, one leg straining forward as the other was held by Derek who was gazing up at him in the gloomy light. Stiles could hear his heart beat thumping steadily in his chest and he felt his own start to rise to meet it as the tension between them started to intensify. His felt his teeth start to lower in response to the restriction Derek was causing in his movement, his eyes flashed in warning and Derek’s flashed glittering red in response. Stiles gasped and fighting his urges to roll over and give in, tried to pull away again. Derek growled heavy in his chest, the warning unmissable and this time he pulled heavily, over-powering Stiles and throwing him off balance. As Stiles jerked and started to drop, Derek rose to grab him by the waist, breaking his fall and neatly pulling him down to cage in under his heavy weight. Stiles squirmed, bucking and writing against the heat of his body. Derek continued his warning growl before opening his jaw wide and carefully placing sharp as needles teeth against Stiles bared jugular. Stiles froze in place, breathing heavy and mind starting to cloud as he felt wave after wave of the Alpha hormones roll over him. Derek’s teeth pressed just enough for the pain to register before he pulled away, ‘You done now?’ he rumbled. Stiles stared up into the dark eyes staring down at him, barely a rim of the usual green of Derek’s eyes showing. ‘Oh yeah, you’re such a big, bad wolf’ Stiles mocked. Derek bared his teeth, ‘you little fucker.’ Stiles breathed a laugh, ‘c’mon then’ he whined, so ready now, pressing up against Derek’s body still pinning him tight. He enjoyed this, enjoyed the chase, as much as it was a tame and very domesticated version of what the wild wolves played out, something about the game play felt so good, so right. Stiles licked his lips and rolled his hips up sinuously before edging his legs further apart. His hands moved to grasp at Derek’s shirt where he had started to arch up over him. The growls became something urgent and more intense, echoing between them as they both responded to each other in the most instinctive of ways. Derek moved his hands to grip at Stiles’ legs, pulling them tight around his narrow waist as he moved his hips down to lock against Stiles’. They began to move together, shifting and rolling in perfect sync, Derek closing his eyes tight as Stiles felt the affect of Derek's heat starting to over-take his whole being. Stiles could feel himself start to get wet between his legs and he shifted as the fabric of his sweatpants started to get dampened with it. Derek sniffed keenly, clearly aware of what was happening with Stiles’ body. As they rocked steadily, Stiles bared his neck and Derek lowered to meet him, forehead sweaty against his skin as they both worked to reach a climax. As Derek started to nip at his skin and growl in shorter bursts, Stiles knew he was close and he started to hitch up harder into Derek’s movements, dicks so hard and heated as they rubbed against each other beneath the layers of their clothing. With a desperate wheeze and clutch at Stiles’ clothing, Derek came, the scent of his come filling the air and causing Stiles to keen beneath him. He grabbed at Derek’s shirt and rapidly moved hard up against the Alpha’s body, not taking a minute more before he followed suit. Derek rolled over and lay flat on his back next to Stiles, breath coming heavy, eyes closed tight as he rode out the last shock waves. Stiles felt limp and let all his limbs spread heavily over the floor, gazing up at the ceiling. After a moment Derek started to clamber to his feet, ‘water?’ Stiles licked his dry lips, ‘yeah, please.’ Derek disappeared and came back holding two chilled bottles. They both chugged back as the warmth of the room starting to build. Derek eyed Stiles where he was sat cross-legged on the floor, ‘You wanna stay there or move to the bed?’ Stiles shrugged, ‘here’s fine.’ Derek took his water from him before stalking back over, hips moving smoothly, body relaxed having had his first release of the night. Stiles watching in appreciation, he couldn’t deny that he loved this guy’s body, loved the way he moved, the way he smelt, the way he tasted, he was pretty damned perfect. Derek stood above him as Stiles stared up. He licked his lips slowly in purposeful enticement. Derek was silent now and he dropped to squat before him, his hand raised to cup at his jaw and thumb over his lips. His heat was affecting him absolutely, driven only by the instinct to touch, to rut, to find release. Stiles closed his eyes and Derek pulled him in to an urgent kiss. There was nothing tender about this, there was no gentleness, just a need and raw desire. Stiles gave as good as he could, tongue almost warring with Derek’s, sharp teeth biting where he could. Derek pulled back and grabbed him, flipping him to his stomach almost winding Stiles in the process as he’d not been expecting the movement. He heard sounds behind him and saw Derek’s shirt go flying to the side of the room. Stiles pulled in a breath, sometimes they took clothes off but most times they kept a layer of something between them, it was safer, easier to maintain the boundaries somehow. He thought it must be with how hot and muggy the room was getting, it could get over-powering with two werewolves emitting heat into an enclosed space. He felt Derek move in behind him and without pause he moved to straighten up his arms, pull up to his knees and widen the space between his legs. The classic Omega pose and god did it feel good with a hot strong Alpha breathing heavily behind him, warm hand stroking down his spine. He shuddered and shivered beneath the touch, Derek’s heat triggering a mock heat in his own body in response to satisfy his needs. Stiles arched his back and hung his head, all designed to make himself irresistible to Derek and it worked without fail every time. Derek tugged hard at him pulling him into his space before lining up behind his ass and with a careful judgment, rolled his heated erection in line with where Stiles’ hole lay wide and slick beneath his layers of clothing. Even with the numbing layers, the feel of their movements and the electricity that sparked at how right this felt caused Stiles to yowl in a kind of perfect agony. He fucking loved this, would do this all day if he could. Derek seemed to feel the same way as he snarled and grunted hard behind Stiles, fighting a full shift as he start moving with a deliberate strength, rolling again and again against that most sensitive part of his body. Stiles inched his legs wider and dropped to his forearms to give better access and Derek clutched on tight to his hips in return, rolling and pushing and grinding in search of that most perfect of connections. Stiles whimpered and moved as best he could under Derek’s immense strength. They were so good at this now, they knew each other’s bodies and it was just so easy somehow. Stiles bit into his hand as he could feel himself starting to build to climax, the wetness between his legs making the sweatpants Derek was grinding against stick to his heated skin revealing the shape of his ass and making the friction between them so intense. Derek started to mutter desperately before laying his body forward over Stiles entirely covering him. His mouth sat wet and open against Stiles’ neck, the urge to bite, to claim being wrestled with. Stiles wanted it, wished he could tilt his head and let those teeth sink in once and for all but he also knew that was his hormones talking, blinding him. In the cold light of day, he would run as far and as fast as he could if he was offered an Alpha bite. He didn’t belong to anyone thank you very much. But try telling that to the part of his brain that responded to Derek’s touch with such a willingness and eagerness that it scared him sometimes. Derek was good though, they’d both been trained and drilled so hard on all this before even being allowed near each other and every year they had refresher course, ‘how to control your inner wolf’ and all that bullshit. Unable to fight it anymore, Stiles arched his head back and with a high whine, came hard, shooting in his sweatpants and making himself even more damp and disgusting. Derek snarled and one hand snaked up to catch loosely around Stiles’ neck, he breathed heavily into Stiles’ cheek whilst holding him tightly in place. Stiles carried on presenting in the perfect pose, Derek’s grinding motion becoming more and more stuttered as he neared his climax. With a final thrust nearly knocking them both off balance, he jerked to a stop and just ground into Stiles like he wanted so much to be able to press through those layers of fabric and reach where his instinct drove him. Stiles pressed back and for a minute they were locked in position and Stiles panted heavily, dreaming of the day this was real and that an Alpha had really staked his claim. With a gruff shake and release of tension, Derek pulled himself up and off Stiles as he crumpled down to the carpet, face smooshed in exhaustion against the fibres. ‘You ok?’ Stiles just groaned in response before pulling himself up. It was draining riding out a heat, incredible, but so draining. He was glad it was nearly the weekend, he would only have to sleepwalk through tomorrow and then he could sleep this off properly. Derek yawned heavily too before dropping down on to his bed where he blinked slowly at him. Stiles groaned with the effort but managed to pull himself to his feet, ‘just gonna...’ he gestured pointing to the hallway. Derek nodded before lying back on his bed and closing his eyes. Stiles trudged out the door and went to find his bag, this was the usual routine, he always bought several changes of clothes, there was nothing worse than the feeling he had right now of wet fabric stuck to his ass. He winced as he walked and ducked into the bathroom for a quick shower. After freshening up and grabbing more water, he headed back to Derek’s room and was hit immediately by the heavy smell of them both hanging in the air in the humid room. His stomach twitched and a jolt travelled to his groin. He palmed at his dick before heading over to the bed where Derek was fast asleep, mouth slightly open, dark lashes shadowed on his cheeks. The bare skin of his torso glowed in the light and Stiles took a moment to appreciate the neat lines and hidden strength in the sleek muscles of his chest. With a murmur of appreciation, he huffed as he saw that Derek was taking up most of what he considered his side of the bed. He stood on the mattress and threw himself over the other side of the bed to lie against the wall and snuggled down happily into the cool sheets. Derek flipped over as he was drifting into sleep and moved in behind him, nose pressed against the skin of his neck breathing softly. He could tell his heat was starting to pass, it would be gone by the early morning. At their young age, it lasted a night at most usually, sometimes it would be over in a few hours which Stiles mostly found a relief, he reckoned it would be hell trying to get through school with the kinds of heats some adults struggled with. He shuffled back, content to meet Derek’s body and fell into slumber. He woke a while later with the movement of Derek heading for a shower, he was always too lazy to go straight after they’d finished. He thought he could hear a faint rumble of voices, the family were probably all home now but he couldn’t hear clearly from Derek’s room. Stiles smiled to himself at how kind both their families had been to them both by sound-proofing their bedrooms when this arrangement was agreed on and they’d proved themselves trustworthy. Stiles jerked awake again at a shaft of light flickering over him from the hallway as Derek came back in. He flopped down heavily on the bed and shuffled over to Stiles, arm hooking around his waist and feet tangling in with his own. He smelled fresh and clean and so damned good, Stiles preened happily that he had this and pushed back into Derek, hands gripping over his. Derek rumbled, the early urgency of the height of the heat was passing allowing for more gentle touches and less desperation. Derek started rocking gently against Stiles, his dick starting to harden as they shifted together, hands laced, breathing starting to grow heavy. Derek licked at Stiles’ skin, pressing his lips to his shoulder as he rolled them sinuously together. The bed rocked and creaked as they moved and Stiles rolled back as he felt the itch grow again. He started to groan and whimper as the tension built between them, Derek shushed him and his hand travelled down to palm against his dick that was throbbing hard against his sweatpants. Stiles let out a shocked gasp as he grabbed him through the fabric, his hot hand pulling and moving to create friction that made him feel he was going to explode. Derek didn’t often touch him, it wasn’t part of the classic Alpha - Omega dynamic and definitely was not part of the play mating teachings. Not that everyone kept to those rules of course but it was how they all started and any transgression always felt deliciously deviant. The feel of Derek’s hand and the heat surrounding him pushed to a quick climax and he felt sorry it was over so quick. Derek kept on stroking him until his sweatpants were stained dark with come and then he moved his hand back and made room between them, hand coming down to his own dick. Stiles whined that he couldn’t feel Derek anymore until his hand started to move and he gasped as Derek’s knuckles started to rub against his ass as he jerked himself, sharp points hitting against his open hole, the tenderness of being touched there sending shocks through his body. Stiles wriggled and fought to win every touch he could as Derek grunted and moved his hand faster and faster chasing release. With a shudder and tight groan, the scent of Derek’s come hit the air and Stiles sighed at the content feeling they both had when they were satisfied. Derek rumbled and rubbed his stubbled chin against Stiles and pulled him tight against him. Stiles hummed and allowed them to just rest contentedly for a few minutes. When he could feel himself start to drift off again he forced himself up and off the bed, pulling out of Derek’s grasp. ‘Feel gross’ he muttered in explanation before finding another pair of sweatpants to change in to. He yanked his soiled ones off, balling them up to throw in his bag and digging out a new pair. The amount of laundry seeing a heat through was just ridiculous sometimes. He hobbled into the new sweats before turning back to the bed and catching red eyes flickering over him. Stiles cocked his head before dismissing the idea that Derek would be watching him. He was feeling so exhausted now and desperately wanted to catch some sleep whilst they could. He burrowed back into the bad and curled up in a ball. Derek shifted onto his side so they were facing each other and with no more words shared, both fell back to sleep. The last of the heat woke them at around midnight, Derek snuffling needily into his hairline, grumbling softly in a dozy state. Stiles pulled him into his arms, one leg thrown over Derek’s hips to allow him to slot in between his thighs. He was too tired to do much more than allow Derek to roll against him, a long slow build to a climax as they breathed and shifted quietly in the dark room. Derek reached a hand to stroke Stiles’ jaw and lifted his face to meet his lips. They kissed softly as their hips ground and moved, Stiles shifting forward to gain some friction against his hole. The movement of their lips together was just soft brushes and exhalations of air and for a moment Stiles allowed it to happen before pulling away and burying his nose against Derek’s neck. He didn’t like this kind of kissing. The aggressive fight for dominance as they bit at each other he could enjoy, that was what play-mating was for. But when Derek was tired at the end of a heat and mostly satiated, he got like this, started wanting gentle touches and kisses and it made Stiles squirm uncomfortably in his stomach. They never talked about it, it just would happen and Stiles would pull away. By the morning they wouldn’t discuss anything that had happened through the night, it just wasn’t done. They never really talked about anything. He rolled up hard into Derek, again and again and after a few more rolls, Derek’s mouth opened wide and he groaned soft into Stiles ear, ‘fuck’ he whispered. Stiles stroked his arm and pulled back, he shoved his own hand down to stroke his dick a few times before coming again himself. He closed his eyes breathing hard. His head was buzzing and light and he could already tell Derek was lost to the world as his breaths became heavier, arm lax over Stiles’ waist. Stiles lay there, fully intending to get up and clean up again but he was so, so tired and so warm where he was laid pressed against Derek that before he could help it, sleep pulled him under. Chapter End Notes I pretty much have the next few chapters written, just editing them down to make sure at all makes sense. Should be getting it all up soon, hope you enjoyed :-) ***** Chapter 2 ***** Stiles’ alarm shrilled out waking him rudely at 6am. He groaned feeling heavy and exhausted, some heats were more demanding than others, this one hadn’t been at all but man what he wouldn’t do for a few more hours sleep. Derek was still pressed up against him and he moaned as Stiles pulled away, rolling over to bury his head under his pillow. Stiles staggered to the side of the room to find his bag and he dug out a change of clothes, quickly throwing them on in the dim light of early dawn. With a glance over his shoulder at Derek now back in a deep sleep, he crept out the house to make his way home. This was the way it always worked, his dad wanted to see him he morning after a heat, just wanted to check everything was ok. It was habit more than anything by now, they’d been doing this for so long there was no need to worry but Stiles could understand. And he was happy to have an excuse to get out early, to not have to really talk to anyone at the Hale house. Derek’s family were all lovely but he still felt a bit weird that they knew exactly what Stiles had been doing all night in Derek’s bedroom and he’d rather not see the flared nostrils and knowing smirks that came from some of them. And Derek himself... well the less they were forced to communicate, the easier really. He felt more human after a cooked breakfast that his dad placed in front of him as he sat slumped at the kitchen table. They didn’t talk much and had the radio on in the background. His dad brushed a palm against his forehead as made to leave, ‘take it easy today kiddo’ he instructed. Stiles smiled sleepily, ‘will do, see you tonight dad.’ He forced himself up and grabbed a couple of bottles of Gatorade from the fridge before heading off to school. Scott was waiting for him when he got there, ‘big night?’ he grinned taking in Stiles’ appearance. ‘Something like that’ Stiles muttered as they walked in. He caught a glimpse of Derek later that day in the cafeteria, his scent dulled now that the heat had passed but he could still pick him out of a room without hesitation. He was pleased to see the Alpha looked as tired as he did. Their eyes skimmed over each other briefly before Derek stalked past his table and headed out with his gang of friends. Stiles carried on eating watching him with only faint interest. Scott had been chattering away beside him before he paused. ‘You two are so weird’ he commented. Stiles twisted to look at him and shrugged his shoulders, ‘it works, there’s no issue.’ Scott stared at him a second before going back to his original line of conversation. Stiles had no clue what he was talking about, he was pretty useless on days like this, he just made as many notes as he could in class to make sure he had enough to go off when he was rested enough to take it all in. The school was understanding, as the ‘Were students got older, they were more and more affected by their hormones and free days would be given in the worst circumstances. Assigned play mates were listed on a register so the school could keep track of their heat schedules. Stiles and Derek’s didn’t match up which meant there were two times in a month that they would meet to play. Most couples would find that the more time they spent in each other’s company, their heats would alter to coincide but for whatever reason, it hadn’t happened with them which Stiles felt was a good thing and annoying in one. Derek was later to develop his heats - a year after Stiles had started to go through it all. Stiles had started to feel it for real a few months after his fourteenth birthday and after he settled into a steady monthly pattern, their play dates became solidified to meet those times. When Derek started experiencing his heats, his Uncle Peter who acted as his official chaperone, called his dad to discuss what Stiles would like to do. Omega heats were seen as the priority, they affected the Omega both physically and emotionally to the point where they either needed physical contact or they would have to be put on medication. Alpha heats could be controlled to an extent once an Alpha had been through training and they could either ride it out by themselves or they could also take medication, just to take the edge off. It wouldn’t leave them bed-ridden and half-crazed in the same way though. Stiles considered it briefly before agreeing that he would be happy to help Derek through his heats too, it just meant he had to be organised with his school work, but after proving to his dad he could do it, the bi-monthly date arrangement was put in place permanently. In all honesty, it really was not a chore to be with Derek, even without his heat surging through him, he could touch and roll around with the Alpha without hesitation at any time. Play mating partnerships were designed largely to ensure Omega’s did not suffer unnecessarily and taught both partners important lessons in how to be around each other, how to touch and maintain control as necessary. Stiles hadn’t been that interested at all to start with, before he felt the effects of what his hormones could do to him. When he reached his thirteenth birthday, his dad sat him down for ‘the chat’. Stiles had winced at the whole ‘and now your body is changing’ spiel, he knew it all already, it was hard to avoid with the stuff he heard at school and he did have the internet for gods sake. He endured it though and at the end, his dad surprised him by asking if he was interested in thinking about play mating and that he had been approached by the chaperone of an Alpha boy who seemed to be a good match. Curiosity got the better of Stiles and he was handed a slim file with a picture of Derek and some basic details. His dad gave him time to think about it and after a week of research and thought he decided to give it a go. At that age he was feeling changes happening with him, nothing definite but he knew that he was starting to become every aware of the Alpha’s he mixed with at school and certain scents had his head moving to track them without conscious thought. He wasn’t producing any secretions yet but he was certainly getting hard-ons at random times of the day and he knew it would only be a matter of time before he had to make a decision about how he wanted to deal with it all. There were several tests to go through with Doctor Deaton who was in charge of supervising the Were families in the area and ensuring correct procedure was followed when play mating was being arranged. He judged Derek and Stiles to be fully healthy and at the right age to start meeting, he also rated them as compatible in scent and mating potential but that was put to one side at their young age. The next step was to meet which was just so weird and awkward. Stiles remembered their first date as being mostly a disaster. Derek has always been pretty mono-symbolic and with the added nervousness of it being such an important date to see if they would be compatible in the flesh, he pretty much said nothing. They met at a park and sat at a bench, Derek’s Uncle Peter bought them all drinks and he and his dad sat and just had a general chat about their families, they already knew each other distantly but the Sheriff was keen to know who his son may be linked to, however temporarily. Derek sat staring at his hands for most of the meeting, only glancing up now and again and if he caught Stiles’ eye for a second, he jerked his gaze away flushing with embarrassment. Stiles was just kinda bored and wondered why Derek had even agreed to this with how reluctant he seemed. Peter turned to him at one point and started asking him how he was doing at school, what he wanted to do in the future. Stiles answered with the politeness he’d been taught when speaking to adults and tried to give a good impression. His dad took the conversation over again and Stiles sighed looking around the park. He swung his legs out under the table and accidently kicked Derek’s shin. Derek stared up at him in surprise, Stiles held his breath for a second, staring into the eyes that had only glanced at him so quickly. On meeting with Derek, he realised he vaguely knew him as they went to the same school but they didn’t share any classes and hung around with different crowds. Stiles took the chance to take Derek’s appearance in, he had beautiful eyes now he could see them properly, swimming with colour from vivid blue to a rich gold. He looked kinda gawky and skinny still, Stiles knew that as an Alpha he would start to fill out but he still looked very much like a kid right now. Not that Stiles could talk, he had a layer of baby fat still holding on but his arms and legs were wiry and with his shorn hair, he often got mistaken for being younger than he was. Stiles grinned slowly at Derek’s stare and he wrinkled his nose in amusement. Derek’s expression didn’t really change, he just looked, eyes locked before Stiles cleared his throat and looked away. Derek seemed emboldened after that and for the next half hour of them sat there, he kept looking at Stiles with increased confidence. Stiles kept smiling to himself each times their eyes met before flicking his gaze away teasingly. As they made to leave, Peter shook hands with his dad, both seeming happy with what they’d discussed. Peter turned to the boys then and asking if they were comfortable to try checking scent compatibility with each other today or if they wanted to wait a little longer. No matter how good a match two ‘Were’s may look on paper or in lab results, nothing was the same as when they got to be in each other’s presence and see if they were really biologically compatible. If the scents were off, the whole thing would be pointless and they wouldn’t even want to touch each other, even in heat. Stiles nodded tentatively, he didn’t see any point in waiting and Derek muttered a sharp ‘yes’ under his breath. Peter clapped his hands together, ‘excellent! Ok, Stiles you need to stay still, if you just stand here’ he said, placing him to stand at the side of the table. ‘And Derek’, he pulled his nephew forward, ‘just a sniff ok, around the neck is the best but don’t get too close alright?’ At this early age, it was unlikely that they would lose control, their hormones weren’t driving them that strongly yet but all interactions had to be closely monitored and guided at this stage. Stiles felt strangely nervous and clenched his hands in fists at his side as Derek slowly came to stand in front of him. He stood arms-width away and so had to bend forward awkwardly to even get near Stiles’ neck but was still too far away. Stiles shook his head slightly in amusement and crept his feet forward to make it easier, he felt his dad place a gently hand on his arm to hold him in place. Derek stood up straight again at Stiles’ movement before glancing at him for a second, breathing harshly through his mouth. He exhaled a breath and then leaned forward into the space Stiles presented as he leant his head to one side, shirt falling low on his collarbone giving full access. Stiles could feel Derek’s body heat radiating off him and up close, he was becoming aware of the sweet fresh smell that was all Derek’s unique Alpha scent and it was making him dizzy. He clenched his eyes shut to ensure he didn’t move as Derek sniffed gently and with full control. After a minute, Stiles felt a strong exhalation and as Derek pulled back, he stared at him, eyes wide and black. Stiles knew what that meant and he licked dry lips as he fought for breath in return. Derek was opening and closing his fists and his uncle reached over to hold his arms firmly. His dad cleared his throat, ‘Stiles, your turn.’ Stiles jumped at the awareness of his dad still stood close to him before locking eyes with Derek again. Derek stood stock-still and when Stiles made a move to come forward, he cocked his head in response, gaze falling to the side. Stiles would’ve fallen forward if it hadn’t been for his dad holding him but through his jerky movement, his nose hit Derek’s skin. Derek hissed at the contact and Stiles moved back to a respectable distance, he felt the spark too and with one inhale, he pulled back again, not trusting himself to stay so close with how much the desire for Derek was starting to grow and roll in his gut. He never realised this was what it would feel like, he’d had no clue at all. Stiles felt embarrassed and pulled out of his dad’s hands as he backed a few paces away. His heart was thundering in his chest and he could hear Derek’s loud and clear as well, he was starting to feel over-whelmed and they hadn’t even done anything. Both the Sheriff and Peter laughed in amusement, ‘ok, well seems the chemistry is definitely a good match’ Peter stated. Derek had pulled away as well and was stood with his hands in his pockets staring at the floor with an affected nonchalance. ‘So we’ll be in touch’ the Sheriff promised in parting before guiding Stiles away who was still red cheeked after his experience. In the car his dad put his hand on his knee, ‘you did great kiddo, it’s always pretty intense the first time you get to be close to an Alpha, don’t worry about it, that’s what this is all for after all. You’ll be rolling around together in no time.’ Stiles groaned bringing his hands up to cover his face, ‘Daaaad’ he whined. He couldn’t help it, he knew this is how it went, knew sex was not a big deal to ‘Weres, they were so aware of it from an early age, their biology making it unavoidable but it was still all so new to him and he felt uncomfortable with how much his control was challenged just by standing in front of Derek. They arranged a meeting for the next weekend and now Stiles knew how Derek made him feel, he was even more nervous. His dad sat him down one night, aware of how jumpy Stiles had been acting all week. ‘Stiles you know this is your choice right? You don’t have to do anything you don’t want or that doesn’t feel right and the second you say no, we’ll be out of there so fast. Derek’s a good kid though, I’ve checked through all his test results, he shows remarkable control and I don’t think he’ll do anything to make you uncomfortable. And we can easily find you another partner if you don’t like him...’ ‘No!’ Stiles butt in quickly, ‘it’s not that... it’s just...’ he ducked his head, fingers shifting together nervously. ‘He smells so good, I just, I wasn’t expecting it I guess’ he muttered shyly. His dad tried to cover a laugh by turning it into a cough, ‘ah right I see.’ He moved closer to Stiles and pulled him into a one armed hug. ‘It is a lot to take in to start with but I think it’s honestly worse beforehand, when you’ve not even touched because it all builds up in your head, you feel like you’re going to explode. Soon as you’ve been around each other more though, it’ll be easy, you’ll get to know the feel of each other and the scent thing won’t drive you half as crazy, ok? I promise you.’ Stiles hitched a breath, ‘ok. I just feel a little nervous.’ His dad rubbed his thumb against his shoulder, ‘I’ll be there every step of the way ok, try to just relax and enjoy it, it’s supposed to be a little fun after all’ he assured, squeezing him tighter. Stiles let out a dry laugh, ‘you’re right dad, so right. I’ll be ok, really, I want to do it’ he said meeting his dad’s steady gaze. ‘Only if you’re sure?’ ‘Totally’ Stiles responded with a steady grin. As nervous as he was, he really wanted to see Derek again, thought that the way he made him feel could become addictive as hell and he forced himself to try and calm down about the whole thing. He’d seen him at school in the distance but neither made the effort to go and talk to each other. They could, there were no rules saying they couldn’t but Stiles wasn’t sure he wanted to just yet. He kinda wanted his dad making sure everything was done right and the idea of chatting casually at school was too weird at that point. Other play mates were different, most were good friends and would chat easily, arms slung across shoulders. They weren’t couples but they were close and most had easy relationships and had often known each other from childhood. Derek and Stiles never quite achieved that somehow, even as the years went by. When the weekend for the second meeting swung around, they were heading to neutral territory, a ‘play room’ that Deaton had at his surgery to make sure neither wolves would be over-whelmed by the other’s scent. Derek looked as cold and detached as he had at the start of their initial meeting, hands in pockets and refusing to look at Stiles. The play area was mostly a wide open space with a soft layer of carpet covered with rugs and blankets. It smelt clean and sterile which made Stiles wrinkle his nose but it was better than being clouded by anything else. Around the edge of the room were some chairs for chaperones to watch over their kids and tables with magazines to keep them occupied. Deaton had a quiet word with his dad and Peter, stating they would all be watching over the boys today and that they had an hour to play. Stiles and Derek stood awkwardly looking around the room, Stiles could feel his palms sweaty and was aware his heart was thudding uncomfortably against his chest. The adults made their way over to the chairs and Deaton pulled out some papers and leaflets and a clip board that he rested on his knee. Peter and his dad started looking over some of the paperwork and Deaton turned to the boys, a vague smile on his lips. ‘Make yourself comfortable boys, this space is all yours.’ He turned back to the two men and they started chatting, Stiles licked his lips feeling unsure of what to do without specific instruction. He knew the freedom they were supposedly being given was an illusion and that they were going to be watched and listened to carefully with every movement they made. He finally caught Derek’s eye and nodded over to some cushions at the edge of the wall. Derek didn’t respond so Stiles just shrugged and headed over, curling his feet under him and resting against the wall. Derek had followed and he sat to his right, legs sprawled out, hands stretched behind him and back to the adults. Stiles looked at him a couple of time before clearing his throat, ‘sooo, how’s school going?’ Derek stared at him before grunting with a frown flickering over his forehead. ‘Oookay, no small talk then’ Stiles whispered to himself. He cracked his knuckles and sighed, this was going to be one boring hour then. Derek shifted before sitting upright and bowing his head. He started to say someone thing before biting his words off. ‘What?’ Stiles prompted. Derek whipped his head up before looking away again, ‘umm, can I, can I sniff you again?’ Stiles felt his eyebrows raise and his breath hitch. He looked carefully over Derek’s shoulder to catch his dad’s eye. His dad was watching them keenly, they all were, and his dad gave him a nod of approval. Stiles looked back at Derek, ‘yeah, ok that’s fine’ he croaked. He sat up straight and Derek shuffled forwards onto his knees in front of him. Their eyes flickered over each other’s faces for a second before Derek was ducking his head and carefully sniffing, Stiles cocked his head in instinct and felt the soft black strands of Derek’s hair tickle his jaw line. He liked it and sighed in content. Derek seemed to respond to the sound and sighed in return, nose briefly tickling at his skin. Stiles gasped quietly and was aware that his dad had risen from his seat to watch them closely now. After a few minutes more, Derek pulled back and once more his pupils were fully dilated and his Alpha hormones were strong in Stiles’ nose. Stiles peered at him under his lashes, ‘my turn?’ he asked quietly. Derek jerked his head to agree and Stiles gripped his hands to his thighs as he made himself focus on control. He leaned in to Derek’s tanned neck and took his first full inhale of the Alpha scent and it felt like it had knocked him sideways, ‘god’ he whispered. He sat just taking it in, how good it was and how it felt like an energy was coursing through his veins. Derek shifted and moved his head more at an angle so he could scent at Stiles’ neck himself in return. He was aware that a rumble was starting to sound between them and wasn’t actually sure who it was coming from, he’d heard that could happen but had never experienced it. Stiles felt his head swim and closed his eyes before one hand moved from his own thigh to rest lightly on Derek’s. Derek jerked at the touch before bringing his own hand up to rest gently on the back of Stiles’ head, just softly brushing against the short strands of hair there. The spell was broken by Deaton’s clear voice sounding out from just next to them, they both jerked back in surprise, they hadn’t even noticed his approach. ‘Stiles, Derek, how are you feeling?’ Stiles stared at him, mouth open as he tried to form words in his woolly mouth. Derek responded first with a clear, ‘good, very good.’ Stiles finally got his mouth to work, uttering a breathy, ‘awesome’ which made the Doctor smile down at his clipboard. ‘Ok, very good, you’re doing well. Just don’t go too fast just yet ok, you need to get comfortable with each other slowly.’ Both boys nodded in agreement before Deaton gestured that they could continue again. Stiles turned and quirked a quick smile at Derek who looked at dazed as Stiles felt. With unsure glances back at the adults, it took them a few minutes to get the courage up to move in close again. Without speaking, they cocked their heads and moved to take in each other’s scents once more. This time Stiles pressed his nose purposefully against Derek’s skin feeling the warmth there and the coursing of blood just below the skin. Derek shifted closer doing the same to Stiles and they both seemed to get lost in the smell and feel of each other. Time seemed to pass like a blur when he next heard Deaton’s voice, he realised their chests had met and were pressing against each other. He jerked back hurriedly, unaware of how that had happened without him realising. His heartbeat stuttered in surprise and Deaton looked at him with concern before Stiles just nodded that he was ok. ‘Right boys, for the last half hour, I want to see you complete an activity. Play fighting.’ Stiles stared at him with a raised eyebrow, he wasn’t sure he liked the sound of this, he wasn’t exactly built for fighting. ‘I’m sure you’re aware that in the wild, the Omega wolves would give the Alpha a bit of a challenge and it’s an important part of the mating process. Through completing this, you’ll also be able to learn control and better understand your roles.’ Stiles glanced at his dad worriedly who was stood with crossed arms, ‘only if you want to Stiles’ he called over. Stiles licked his lips and stared back at Derek who looked as surprised as he did, but when their eyes met, Stiles felt a jolt that made him think he could trust Derek and maybe he could give this a go. ‘No, it’s ok, let’s try this’ he nodded to his dad and Deaton. Derek also agreed and Deaton laid down the ground rules of what was considered appropriate and safe at this time. It turned out to be ridiculously good fun. They both started out tentatively, neither wanting to hurt the other and both a little scared to have free reign to lay hands on the other. Stiles reckoned that was a big part if this too, getting used to touch but not in an explicitly sexual way. After 10 minutes, Stiles was racing around shrieking with laughter as Derek tried to catch him. He was fast and wiry and could easily jump over cushions and slide over blankets and when he could feel Derek just behind him, he would twist and change direction throwing him off again. After evading being caught for a while, Stiles started to realise he kinda wanted Derek’s hands on him so he allowed himself to be cornered, Derek jumping on him as soon as he was in reach. They tumbled to the floor in a heavy heap, rolling around, Stiles still flailing and fighting back. Even though Derek didn’t have that much extra strength on him at that age, he had a grace and agility to balance that Stiles lacked and he ended up pinning Stiles under him triumphantly, huge grin stretched across his face as he peered down at him. Stiles felt his heart thump at seeing the dazzling smile, Derek really should do that more often he realised before he started to squirm, breathless under the grip holding him down. Derek grunted with the effort before leaning down and taking in a deep breath against Stiles’ skin. Stiles stilled for a moment, liking how it felt and he stroked his thumb against the shoulder hovering over him. Stiles took in a deep breath against Derek’s hair, all messed up after their activities. He bit back a moan and used the lull to flip Derek over on to his back. Derek growled in an immediate innate response, this was taken as a challenge for an Alpha and Stiles pulled away suddenly scared he’d gone too far. Peter was over in a second, ‘Derek, up’ he instructed, grasping his nephew’s arm and yanking him to stand. Stiles sat kneeling, unsure of what to do. Deaton appeared and held out a hand to Stiles. He grasped it and stood up on wobbly legs, Derek was hiding behind his uncle now who was murmuring soothingly to him. ‘Boys’ Deaton called to get their attention. They both turned to look at him, ‘this is good, this is what play mating is for. You’re testing boundaries and learning to understand the Alpha - Omega dynamic. I’m pleased with your progress.’ With that, he swiftly turned and walked back to his table of paperwork. Stiles just stared after him feeling confused. Derek slowly walked over, ‘I’m sorry’ he whispered, staring at his shoes. Stiles peered at him, ‘uh, no problem, sorry, shoulda realised that wasn’t cool.’ ‘No, no, you were fine... I just let instinct take over for a second. I hope I didn’t scare you.’ Stiles shook his head wordlessly before his dad pulled him over to get his stuff ready to leave. ‘You happy to carry on with this?’ he asked quietly in Stiles’ ear. ‘Yeah, no, it's fine.’ It had been surreal in a lot of ways but, yeah, it was a lot of fun. He’d never been able to touch and learn and this was kinda perfect. Derek still looked so contrite stood huddled with his Uncle but Stiles knew that a little violence and clashing of power came with this kind of relationship later in life and he’d rather learn some of the rules now in a controlled environment with a guy who seemed so gentle despite his status. Weekly appointments were decided on to allow the boys just to get familiar with each other and build up a level of trust and comfort before they started being completely driven by heats. They spent most of their time play fighting, it was easily their favourite way to pass the hour and as the weeks went by, the adults would pop in and out of the room, mostly happy to leave them to it. Stiles usually led the chase and would shriek and whoop as he darted around the room, Derek close behind, snapping at his heels. They would roll and tumble, taking the chance to rub against each other briefly before charging off again. They ended the sessions red faced and panting, happily looking forward to the next week. Stiles grew used to how far he could push Derek and equally, Derek learnt how to control his response when being challenged but faced no real danger. It got to the point where Stiles could pin Derek down and he would happily roll his head to expose his neck where Stiles would then bury his nose. Deaton had congratulated them the first day that happened, advising that they made an excellent pairing and he would be happy to continue coaching them. Strangely they still never spoke outside the play dates, to start with Stiles wondered if Derek was embarrassed but after a while he stopped worrying about it. They weren’t friends, they barely spoke even during the play sessions aside from odd instruction or to decide on consent for certain positions. It was all about the physical and in that respect, they were perfect for each other. The spark they both felt on first meeting always flared at each other’s touch and Stiles would roll over for the Alpha if it meant he could inhale his intoxicating scent and touch his burning skin. ***** Chapter 3 ***** After he hit fourteen, Stiles knew his scent was starting to change and that things were altering biologically by the way Derek reacted to him. Derek’s nostrils flared when Stiles walked in the room and he was pretty quick to move up close to gain access to his scent, not waiting patiently for Stiles to dump his bag down like usual. The play fighting became a little less fighting and more rolling around with periods of slow movement with one pinned down, the other taking the chance to touch and scent. On a couple of occasions when they had stilled for too long, Stiles on his back with his legs wrapped around Derek, Derek lost in sniffing at him and hips starting to hitch, Deaton had interrupted with a clear cough and warning call of ‘boys...’ They both shifted apart, cheeks glowing from lust and embarrassment. They both had to take a few minutes away from each other to cool down and adjust their pants. At this point, his dad and Derek’s Uncle stopped attending in agreement with all concerned. Deaton would now supervise on a professional level and Stiles couldn’t be more grateful. It had been great to have his dad there in the early days but now he was confident in what the sessions entailed and he really hated trying to meet his dad’s eye when he’d just pretty much watched him rub against another guy for the past hour. It improved their relationship no end when that was agreed on. He also felt a little freer in the sessions, he could see how far the boundaries could be pushed without having to deal with any look of disappointment or amusement from his dad afterwards. The morning he first awoke with slick running down his ass crack left him cold with fear. He lay, clutching the sheets and not daring to move, barely daring to breathe. He’d been dreaming of warm skin and hard muscle and this was the result, ‘fuck’ he whispered. He knew this was going to change things and he felt irrational dread at entering this stage, was he ready for this? He took a long hot shower and was too shy to tell his dad what had happened, instead rushing to get to school. It didn’t happen again that week but when he entered the play room that weekend, he knew he shouldn’t have pretended it hadn’t happened. Once the Omega started to get slick, a whole new battery of tests needed to be taken and preparations and training had to be covered with both parties before the play mating could continue. Deaton had greeted the boys as usual and led them to the room before leaving them to it for a short time. He trusted them and came in every 15 minutes to observe for a few minutes before leaving them again. He left the room but the door was ajar behind him. Stiles stood and looked at Derek and he saw his eyes flash scarlet at him. He felt his breath catch in his throat and he whimpered at the unmistakable Alpha response to his scent. Derek stalked over to him and hung his head, ‘your scent?’ he questioned softly, arms fumbling out to reach for him. Stiles tried to ignore the question and pushed past him to take his jacket off and put his bag down. Derek stared after him and Stiles laughed nervously, ‘c’mon then’, and he backed away to start the chase instinct in Derek. Derek moved faster than he ever had before and pinned Stiles down before he could even take a step, he’d been holding back Stiles thought dully. Stiles squirmed, panting and hot under Derek, Derek looked lost, his eyes glazed and mouth hanging open as he raked his eyes over Stiles as if trying to understand what was different. He dipped his head and sniffed his neck, rumbling happily before pulling back again and gazing down Stiles’ body. Stiles stared back feeling his thoughts starting to become clouded as Derek’s hormones began to affect his senses. He hitched his knees up and spread them wide to allow Derek to lie between them with ease, he moved on pure instinct, this just felt right. Derek hovered for a second, unsure of what to do. He licked his lips nervously before peering down at Stiles’ crotch with something like confusion. Stiles could’ve laughed if he wasn’t feeling like his nerves were strung out, his skin crackling with electricity at the skin so enticingly close to him. Stiles exhaled heavily and arched his hips up, Derek flinched back in initial surprise before glancing at Stiles’ face and then back down at his crotch now only inches away from his face. ‘Fuck Stiles’ he gritted out before lowering his head and taking a long inhale at the zipper of Stiles’ jeans. ‘Oh shit...’ he muttered as his hands came to clasp hard at Stiles’ hips and he took several more long inhalations. Stiles lay his head back and stared at the ceiling before feeling the need to touch, to have to his Alpha above him. He reached down and with skinny hands, pulled on Derek’s biceps until he moved up and over him, arms coming to brace under Stiles’ lifted knees, bracketing him in place. Stiles licked his lips and felt over-come by their connection of heat, hormones and heart beats, all pulling them in and holding them tightly locked together. Derek experimentally rolled his hips against Stiles and Stiles cried out in shock at the thrill of sensation that raced through him, it had never felt like this before, he had never been this sensitive. Their movements had mostly all been fairly innocent up to now, they had rubbed against each other but they hadn’t been driven in a complete drive for sexual pleasure. Stiles pulled at Derek, just wanting him as close as possible and Derek fell forward onto him, full weight pinning him down, legs splayed around him. Derek buried his face in Stiles’ neck and just moved against him, rubbing and thrusting uncoordinatedly. Stiles couldn’t help the litany of words and sounds pouring out his mouth at the sensation. The next thing he knew, Derek was gone and he was laid out on the ground feeling suddenly cold and very exposed. Deaton had Derek gripped by the collar of his shirt and was marching him out the room. ‘Fuck’ Stiles whispered to himself, running a hand through his sweaty hair, his body aching at the sudden loss of sensation and satisfaction. Stiles had felt ashamed and so guilty that Derek had to be taken away, he knew it was all his fault and he sat sniffing with a blanket wrapped around him waiting for his Dad to arrive to come and talk things over. Deaton had given him his most disappointed look and Stiles had just averted his gaze, swinging his legs. The days after that were filled with tests and examinations. Stiles had squirmed red faced on the crinkly hospital paper as Deaton had probed and confirmed that yes, Stiles was starting to produce slick. Still at a slow and irregular rate, but he was there. Deaton had met with Derek’s family and Stiles’ separately, explaining what changes this would bring to the play dates. That the interactions would start to change in nature as Stiles would be driven to present as his heats started to manifest each month and that Derek may start to feel a flare in Alpha hormones, driving him to seek dominance. The boys were shown videos of what to expect and Stiles had rolled his eyes at the awful 80’s graphics, had sat clicking a pen and tapping his foot as he tried to not flush too hard at the understanding this is what he could potentially be doing with Derek very soon. Agreement came from both sides that they were happy to continue under Deaton’s close instruction and consent forms were completed. It was all done within the week and Stiles breathed a sigh of relief that he wasn’t going to have to wait much longer to meet with Derek. He’d woken a couple more mornings that week with dampness in his underwear and he peered at it in intrigue, one finger snaking back to tentatively feel what was going on back there. After feeling the shock of sensation as his finger pressed against pink, swollen skin, he pulled back in surprise and had to take several deep breaths to steady himself. He had a long, hot shower that morning. Getting ready for his play-date that Saturday afternoon, he’d chosen soft loose clothing of sweatpants and an old, worn t-short at Deaton’s suggestion, he’d explained that hard fabrics of things like jeans could cause injury or pain if they got too lost in movement to realise what they were doing. Stiles felt nervous for the first time in a long time before a play date but was eager to get there and see how this would work. It started off quite boring really, Deaton made them just sit near each other to get used to the scent difference that Derek would be so aware of from now on. Stiles had fidgeted feeling fed-up and Derek had mostly just sat playing with a shoe-lace and avoiding saying anything. After a half hour of painful silence and Deaton’s careful eyes watching them, he finally instructed that they could start with whatever felt comfortable. Stiles stood and shook his legs out, ‘thank fuck for that’ he whispered under his breath and caught a twitch of a smile flicker over Derek’s features. They started out in their usual pattern with Stiles backing away from Derek with a grin, he jerked forward as if to make a swipe before ducking and skipping away from the Alpha. A minute later, Derek grabbed him and rolled him over and over in the blankets on the floor. Yeah, so it looked like Derek’s patience was running thinner now he had lungfuls of Stiles’ strong Omega scent. That was how it had been explained to Stiles, that his previous pleasant scent would become magnified to his Alpha, triggering an inherent response to claim, to have. He understood this as Derek held him down and rubbed his jaw slowly over the smooth skin of his neck. Stiles felt himself preen back in happiness and his back started to curve up causing him to rub the full length of his body against Derek. Derek bought a leg up to pin Stiles’ thigh to one side under him and as he lay fully in the space between his legs, Stiles let his head thump back onto the floor behind him at the incredible feeling of finally having this touch. Derek made small shifts in movement and they were slowly both becoming aroused beneath their thin layers of clothing. Stiles made small gasping noises in response to the shifts of movement and edged his leg open wider. As his dick started to plump up, he could feel the still strange sensation of wetness starting to secrete from his ass and his eyes shot open wide at the feeling. He stilled, one hand still grasping at Derek’s shoulder, unsure of what to do. Derek leaned up, nostrils flaring. Deaton was stood next to them in a second with calming instruction, ‘Derek, maintain control, remember to stay grounded and keep focussed ok. Slow movements, that’s all I want to see right now.’ Derek flicked his head to the Doctor, giving a curt nod before turning back to look at Stiles again, eyes dark and heavy as he let his gaze wonder down the body he had laid under him. A smile flit across his face before lowering his forearms either side of Stiles' shoulders to hang over him, his slim hips slotted into the space between Stiles’ open legs and he began a slow and steady roll of movement. It was just perfect, not too much but enough to satisfy them both, to be able to feel the heat and the contact. Stiles thought through his hazed mind that Derek must’ve practiced a hell of a lot to have this down already, he’d heard from some of his friends that their Alpha partners had no finesse at all in the early stages, they’d just rut uncontrollably, sometimes to the point of causing the Omega pain until they got pulled away by the scruffs of their necks. Derek was so good though now he knew what to expect with Stiles’ growing maturity and Stiles couldn’t help but sigh happily at his good fortune to have this pairing. He gripped on tight to Derek’s waist and ran hands up and down his ribs, just feeling the movement of his body under his fingertips. They rolled a few times before starting the grinding again with Derek reaching climax first, a shocked expression on his face as he panted heavily above Stiles. Stiles smiled and stroked his arm before grinding himself up into Derek and finding his own release. He let out a shrill gasp as he came, feeling embarrassed by the noise as soon as his head started to clear from the sea of hormones that had been driving him up till then. Neither boys wanted to move after that, they’d never actually reached climax before on a play date, there’d been arousal but never any act to reach completion and it all felt so new and so much to take in. Derek lay on his side next to Stiles, eyes fluttering unfocussed and breathing heavily. Stiles looked at him with affection before looping an arm and leg over him and cuddling him, he would blame it on his Omega hormones if he had to but really he just wanted closeness after sharing such intimacy. Derek responded without hesitation, holding Stiles tight and they stayed wrapped up in each other for another ten minutes until Deaton coughed softly and advised that their time was up unfortunately. Deaton called his Dad that night and Stiles sat nervously in his room wondering what was going on. His dad came up to see him later with a knock at the door and a smile. He sat on the edge of Stiles’ bed and Stiles pushed his homework to one side to listen to him. ‘Deaton said you did really well today, I’m proud of you son.’ Stiles stared at him for a second, ‘really? We didn’t do much though.’ ‘Apparently you both showed excellent control and showed respect to each other, he says you’re one of the best pairings he’s seen in a long while.’ Stiles spluttered feeling embarrassed as his dad patted his leg. ‘Apparently Derek is very mature for his age and is already advanced in the behaviour he’s showing. And there was something else I want to discuss with you too...’ ‘Oh yeah?’ Stiles asked hesitantly. ‘Yeah. Deaton thinks that after a few more sessions if you continue showing the behaviour you did today, he would agree to you being able to conduct the play dates at home. Here, or at Derek’s whichever both of you would prefer. You’d still go for appointments with the Doctor, but having the sessions at home as your heats start to settle in just gives you a bit more time and privacy.’ ‘Seriously?’ Stiles breathed in amazement. Usually pairings were not trusted in private spaces until they were older, it was what they all worked so hard towards, as much as the play rooms were set up very nicely, it wasn’t the same as being in your own environment. ‘Yep. What would you think to that? Would you be comfortable with it?’ ‘Wow, yeah dad, really that would be good.’ His dad smiled fondly, ‘good, I’m happy that I can trust you both. I wouldn’t be watching over you directly when that starts but I would be keeping an ear out ok? Your safety and comfort is always my priority no matter what. And after a while... I may even consider sound proofing your room too.’ Stiles opened his eyes wide is shock before lunging forward to grab his dad in a tight hug, ‘OhmyGod Dad’ he gushed, ‘you are the best, like did I ever tell you how much you are the best? Cos you really, really are!’ His dad laughed and hugged him back, ‘it’s all down to your hard work Stiles, I’m proud of you.’ Stiles smiled to himself as he drifted to sleep that night, thinking of all the possibilities of being able to hold Derek tight for hours on end, it really would be bliss he sighed as he hugged his pillow to him and dreamt of firm tanned skin under his hands.   A couple of sessions after that with similar controlled behaviours displayed to Deaton’s approval, Stiles presented for the first time under the influence of a heat. He knew he felt different leading up to the session, the night before he had felt a tingling sensation crawling under his skin, setting him on edge and making all the scents and sounds of the world vivid and somehow more intense to him. His skin felt super sensitive and even just pulling on his sweatpants that day made him pause as the fabric brushed his dick and made him want to bend in half at how he was already feeling aroused at just the thought of seeing Derek that afternoon. He almost felt feverish by the time he got to the Medical Centre and had to try not to run down the hallway to the play room to get to Derek. He could smell him and it felt like a beacon, like a tug under his skin pulling him forward that he was immune to being able to ignore. As soon as he yanked the door open and saw Derek, he felt himself whine high in his throat, relief surging through his blood at finally being where he needed to be and so incredibly aware that all he desired was to feel Derek pressing him down with his strong hot hands. He barely even greeted Deaton before Derek pounced, his nostrils flared and his eyes flashed as they rolled to the ground, tumbling over each other until they broke apart as their momentum threw them wide. Stiles was breathless and laid out on the blankets when he saw Derek turn to him and stalk forward lithely on hands and knees, the look in his eye entirely animalistic. Stiles whined in instinct and felt his eyes flash and before he knew what he was even doing, he was on all fours, head hanging low and panting heavily as he presented his ass unmistakably. Derek rumbled and growled lowly, there was no instruction needed for this as their bodies followed natural instinct. Stiles felt himself grow hot all over, the itch under his skin burning as Derek moved in firmly behind him, his weight pushing him lower before he leaned over his back and breathed heavily into his shoulder. His movements began without hesitation, pushing up and grinding, hitting Stiles’ leaking hole and grazing against his dick. The roiling heat of arousal felt over-powering as it grew in his gut and he panted hard, thrusting his ass back into Derek with as much co-ordination as he could manage, this is what he needed, is what he had been driven to find. He saw Derek’s claws extend as he clutched at the blanket either side of Stiles’ head and drove them crashing towards an orgasm way beyond anything they’d felt before that. Stiles felt dazed and thinking back now, he knows he kinda lost his mind a little bit at that first experience of heat driven bonding. He felt so wet and ready with Derek so close, he just wanted to clutch on tightly and never break apart. It brought out their basest instincts and as they gradually collapsed to the ground, Derek still twitching his hips into Stiles, grip never loosening on him, Deaton had tried to approach and both boys had turned to him with flashing eyes of warning. A low growl began in Derek’s chest and Deaton had stared at them both for a moment before backing off quietly and allowing them to come to their senses. They over-stayed their time by a long way that session but it took a long while for Derek to be able to unlock his arms and legs from Stiles and Stiles began to whimper anytime he made to move away. Stiles sat in his room the night after that happened and his dad came to sit on his bed and ran a soothing hand over his shorn hair as he bit at his lip. ‘It’s normal Stiles, don’t worry. The first time you get a hit of the real thing, it does feel so extreme and knocks you sideways. I remember my first time like that - ‘ ‘Ewww dad’ Stiles cut in, slamming his hands over his ears and squinting at him in disgust. His dad laughed, ‘Ok fine, I just wanted you to know that it’s normal and it won’t be so over-whelming every time after this ok? Don’t be scared by it.’ Stiles had nodded and hugged his dad tight. He was relieved to know, no matter how embarrassing his dad tried to be sometimes. The feelings had scared him. When Derek had hung over him, all his brain screamed at him was that this was his Alpha, they needed to bond, to mate, to never be apart... He’d never felt like that before and he was petrified his Omega needs were going to control his life from now on and he couldn’t think of anything worse. He’d barely been able to look Derek in the face after they’d finally been able to pull apart and get up, he’d just grabbed his stuff and run out to meet his Dad. At the next session, Deaton said they were still doing well and just needed more practice and he wanted to make sure they could maintain control before he would sign them off from the play room. Deaton also prescribed some medication for Stiles now that his heats were starting to manifest and drive his behaviour. They worked to delay the on-set of the heat so if Stiles woke in the morning with the symptoms starting, or whilst he was at school, he could take a pill to delay it for up to 12 hours so that he could arrange for Derek to come over and deal with it without interrupting his day to day life too excessively. That was the idea anyway. Stiles came to realise over time that some heats just couldn’t be postponed and there had been times where he’d woken in the early hours of the morning, desperately calling Derek who would arrive still looking half sleep as they came together to help soothe Stiles’ burning. They would miss school days when that happened, both too exhausted after they finally been able to work through it. They practiced a lot in the early days of Stiles’ heats which were still not totally predictable, Derek would mount Stiles time and time again as they wrestled for control, Stiles clawing playfully and Derek grabbing him over and down under him. They both left the sessions exhausted, Stiles limping with slowly healing bruised knees. They slowly got better at control, although sometimes the raw animal instinct would flare up and their claws would extend leaving angry scratches on each other through torn clothing. Sometimes when Stiles’ heats would drive them to lose civilised thought, he would tackle Derek as soon as he got to the room and they’d roll around snarling and snapping at each other until Stiles would worm him way under Derek’s bulk and start grinding back desperately. Deaton didn’t look quite as pleased with that behaviour but explained that once his heats settled into regular patterns, his hormones would stable out and it would become less frantic. A couple of months later as Stiles’ heats did begin to settle down and they had both passed some kind of test Deaton never gave them full knowledge of, the sign off was agreed and the boys were given permission to make monthly home play dates. Stiles had been so excited the first time Derek had come over, the anticipation making him jittery and shaky. His Uncle Peter had dropped him off and as he stood talking to his dad, Stiles had gestured at Derek to follow him upstairs. Derek looked as serious as he always did, eyebrows tight, scowl always looking to threaten his features. Stiles had spent the whole week clearing an open space in his room and getting it all just right, even his bed was freshly made. He left the door ajar at his dad’s insistence for their first session, knowing that he would be listening carefully for anything he didn’t like the sound of which Stiles did appreciate even if it was a little embarrassing. He turned to face Derek and smiled nervously throwing his hands out, ‘So hey, this is my room.’ Derek glanced around disinterestedly, ‘yeah... cool.’ Stiles nodded before lifting his eyebrows and realising that most likely was it for conversation today. This was confirmed when Derek shrugged his jacket off, threw his shoes to one side and slowly approached Stiles. Derek pulled up the arms of his shirt and Stiles looked with interest at how he was starting to develop muscle and how dark hairs dusted his golden skin, the skinny boy was starting to fill out Stiles was full of appreciation. He smiled softly as Derek reached him before he grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him into a hard kiss. They’d never kissed before. Stiles had never kissed anyone at all before. To say he was surprised would be an under-statement. He didn’t really know what to do and fought against the pressure, shoving back at Derek but not managing to dislodge him. A whine rose in his throat as he simultaneously felt panic that Derek was apparently making up some new rules now they were alone but also feeling the rising tendrils of arousal at touching and scenting the Alpha so intensely. His heat had only started to come on a couple of hours earlier and so was not driving him fully but it was enough that his thoughts were started to become clouded by how his body reacted to being touched by Derek and how right it felt. Derek pulled back for a breath and Stiles went to shove him back to pause but Derek just rolled with the movement pulling them both to the floor. Stiles tried crawling away but Derek caught his foot and dragged him under him before covering him with fully with his body. Hot hands came to run over Stiles’ arms, down his back and to his ass and Stiles felt himself unable to stop himself from pushing back and moving in response to him. He pushed himself into those hands and waited to be claimed as Derek pawed at him, breathing hot and wet into his ear as he snuffled and grunted as they drove each other to climax. They rutted and ground together pretty continuously for the next hour, gradually growing tired and sluggish as they burnt through their energy but the thrill of some kind of privacy and the freedom to touch more openly without being pulled apart made them oblivious to time and anything other than the touch of skin. Derek stared into his eyes whenever they came to be face to face, his chest rumbling in satisfaction as their clothes rustled quietly in the otherwise still room, their sweat standing in beads on their foreheads. Stiles had always loved Derek’s pretty eyes and it he felt the connection between them strengthen as they were able to finally come together without watching eyes assessing them from afar. As Stiles tried to roll on top of Derek at one point, struggling as his limbs began to grow shaky and weak after how long they’d been doing this, he even thought he saw a twitch of a smile on Derek’s lips before it passed again as Derek stretched to bury his nose in Stiles’ neck and breathe deeply. Time passed and Stiles had no idea how long they’d been up there, but they reached the stage where they were both panting and wearily pawing at each other, grinding their crotches together for short periods of time before just laying back, red faced and exhausted. Stiles licked at his lips, tasting the sweat that coated his upper lip and felt so calm and blissed out he could drift away. His dad seemed to understand their keenness at this first taste of freedom and let them be for a while before heading slowly upstairs, warning them that he was coming in. They both say upright, pulling their clothes straight and trying to comb their hair back in place. His dad popped his head in the door and burst out laughing at the state of them. ‘Dadddd’ Stiles whined in embarrassment. His dad tried to compose himself before asking, ‘everything ok? No problems?’ Both boys shook their heads, slightly red-faced and avoiding eye contact. His dad gave another muffled laugh before telling Derek that his Uncle was on his way over to come collect him before adding that Stiles might want to crack open a window. Stiles whined and threw himself onto his stomach, face buried in his arms. He was so exhausted and he could hear Derek collecting his jacket as he went to follow his dad downstairs. The next thing Stiles knew, he looked up to find his room had gone dark and he had the pattern from his carpet imprinted on his cheek, he’d flat out just passed out.   Their sessions started to get a little more experimental in some ways as they tried exploring the boundaries of what they both wanted now. Deaton had run through all the possibilities of what play-mating could be to a couple but explained it was different for every pairing. Some knew they wanted to be mated forever and so didn’t hold back on engaging in full on sex once they were mature enough. Some couples were just looking for relief to tide them over until they wanted to find the perfect one and so would avoid full penetration but would finger each other or use toys. Others he said were happy to just rub up against each other, just finding comfort in their scents and the presence of a complimentary other. Stiles had thought it over and knew he was not ready for any kind of commitment, especially as what he had with Derek could in no way be classified as anything more that physical compatibility. But he wanted something more than hand holding, he was sure of that. He wanted to feel those rough hot hands move with purpose and to have Derek’s strength holding him and making him feel grounded and soothed as his blood drove his actions and demanded the Alpha’s attention. As the boys started to grow and develop, Stiles felts his needs start to solidify and thankfully, they seemed to match perfectly with Derek’s. Derek had initiated their first kiss and through non-verbal communication, Stiles had laid the ground rules that they could do this, but it was not something he wanted most of the time. He would allow it in the height of their heat and maybe endure it a little afterwards but there was a cut-off point. One session where Stiles felt like a whole month had been far too long to wait to feel Derek again, he had taken one of Derek’s slender hands and had guided it to his ass, more precisely, to press through the thin fabric of his sweatpants and against his heat slicked hole. Upon the barest contact, Stiles had howled loudly and unrestrained as he moved restlessly against the pressure until his dad had actually come thundering up the stairs and had shouted loudly from outside the door to see if Stiles was ok. Stiles had been so lost in pleasure he couldn’t even begin to try and focus on speaking coherently and Derek was just staring at him with glowing red eyes as he moved his finger, supplely circling and pressing so wonderfully that after he gained no response, his dad had eventually come into the room to check on them. Both boys had turned, staring at him with inhuman eyes glowing as their hips moved together in smooth undulations. His dad has cleared his throat, eyes flicking to the ceiling mumbling a croaked, ‘Christ’ before turning and leaving them to it after satisfying himself that they were fine. It was heady whenever Derek touched him there and it would only happen when Stiles guided him to do it when he was feeling a particularly heavy heat and was compelled to have that touch. It was one of the rarer acts they carried out, seemingly a mutual understanding of how intimate that connection could be and neither feeling quite ready for it to become common-place in their play. The first time Derek threw his shirt off really was due to the physical heat of the room and the stifling muggy weather. It was the height of summer and before they’d barely started moving, they were covered in a layer of sweat, both feeling uncomfortable and irritated from the friction of the damp fabrics between then and the suffocating air. Derek had grunted in frustration, rising to throw a window open before turning back to Stiles and hesitating for a second before throwing his shirt off and kneeling back down. Stiles had cocked an eyebrow before thinking he may be onto a good idea and had followed the action baring his own chest. The feeling of their skin moving together created crackles of attraction that Stiles could almost swear he saw physically when he closed his eyes and saw gold flecks shooting behind his eyelids. It had been intense to be able to run shaking fingers over that smooth skin he usually only gained a hint of and it left them both light heated and breathless. Stiles didn’t remove his shirt again after that time and Derek only occasionally. Strangely they came to a silent agreement on that one that maybe it was too much for the time being. When Derek began his heats at fifteen, the dynamic between them shifted again. Stiles had always felt a little exposed when it was his heats driving the activity as although he maintained some form of control, beneath all his actions, he was being inevitably driven by this other force and he sometimes felt that a brush of Derek’s fingers had too much power over him at his most affected. Derek’s heats manifested as a cloud of over-whelming masculine wolfish power, it almost knocked Stiles to his knees the first time he was in a closed space with Derek in that state and he had to take a break out the room to get his head together. They were more aggressive in those sessions, Stiles liked to tease but then he would submit time and time again as Derek held his teeth to Stiles neck and rumbled above him. Their families were happy with the arrangements and were pleased that it all worked for them both seemingly so perfectly. Some pairings swapped and changed multiple times through the years as differences would surface or other parties would appear on the scene complicating things. Derek and Stiles were happy as they were, apparently never really needing anything more. Although they barely spoke, Stiles knew they understood each other on some other level. Stiles understood what the strength of a touch meant, what the movement of a finger applying pressure meant and whether he should pull away or pay more attention. He understood Derek’s expressions (as much as he tried to hide them), he saw those twitches at the corners of his eyes when he was happy, he saw the faint frown that appeared when he came over and had lingering thoughts troubling his mind. He could tell when he was tired, excited or worried... he just knew him more than he had known any other person outside his parents. And equally, Derek seemed to respond as sensitively to Stiles' moods and responses, pulling away at the perfect time and knowing when to respond with strength or gentleness. Some days he would tackle Stiles to the ground with a rumble, intent on making the tension sitting tight in his jaw and shoulders disappear and afterwards, Stiles would gently run a finger in thanks over his arms as they lay together. Stiles knew that this was what the bond between an Alpha and Omega entailed, all school kids were taught about the perfect synchronicity they could expect to find when they settled with their mate and he felt happy to know that in the future, he would find his own Alpha to cement that bond with forever. And as much as he liked to claim he was a non-traditionalist, as he rolled over at night lulled to sleep by Derek's even breaths at his side, he secretly looked forward to that day with longing. ***** Chapter 4 ***** Chapter Notes I'm sorry for taking a while to get this up, had a crazy week. And thank you so much for the lovely feedback so far, it means a lot. And I'm umm... really sorry for this chapter in advance! See the end of the chapter for more notes Stiles grabbed a slice of toast as he dashed out the door, bag slung haphazardly over his shoulder as he skidded down the path to his Jeep. He’d over-slept that morning after staying up playing games until late into the night, he cracked his jaw as he yawned and glanced into the mirror to tug at his hair to vaguely style it in some way. He was 16 now and could feel how he was changing as he was growing into the man he would become. He’d started growing his hair out a few months previously and had gained some approving glances from classmates which had taken him by surprise at first, he wasn’t used to being seen as physically attractive. He also clocked that Derek seemed to like raking his fingers through it as they held close to each other and that touch just seemed to make him want to bare his stomach and purr, so yeah, the hair was staying. Physically he had grown taller in the past summer, still a little shorter than Derek but there was time yet he liked to think. His body was typical for a young Omega, he was slim and lithe, muscles sleek and smooth and undeniably attractive for Alpha’s looking for their complimentary mate. He hated falling into stereotype but he had to admit, he liked gaining glances for how he looked after all this time of being ignored, and not just for the hormones he pumped out every month. Whilst Stiles knew he had finally moved on from his awkward gangly years, Derek had become the epitome of the Alpha ideal although he was either oblivious to this or just didn’t care, Stiles wasn’t entirely sure. He’d shot up to reach 6 feet tall in the past year, his shoulders growing wide and broad with strong muscle which Stiles itched to feel holding him tight when his heats started to set in. He took moments to just lightly slide fingertips over the taught skin when they were lying exhausted on the floor, mesmerised by the sheen of sweat that would glisten gold on his warm skin. Derek’s beautiful eyes still sparkled as they always had but he now coupled that beauty with a warm dazzling smile which only appeared on rare occasions but had the power to render his victims speechless when it was directed at them full force. Stiles had coaxed it out of him a couple of times and he felt a badge of pride earned that he could do that. Derek could take his pick of pretty much anyone, Stiles was well aware of this but he never seemed to be bothered about looking for another play mate, his eyes barely seeming to take in the rest of the student population. Everyone knew that Stiles was his play mate and he saw the puzzled looks at the idea, endured spiteful catcalling on occasions but aside from that, felt incredibly lucky that he got to have this guy in such an easy an uncomplicated arrangement. Which meant he was so completely unprepared for any of that to change. News was slow at school and the appearance of anyone new peaked a lot of interest, a buzz of gossip steadily working its way down the hallways. Stiles and Scott were idly chatting before their next class when Scott stopped talking mid sentence and started nudging him harshly in the chest. ‘Ouch, what dude? I’m right here.’ Scott raised his eyebrows and nodded for him to follow his gaze, 'check out the new girl, I heard she was hot'. Stiles shifted his bag higher on his shoulder before glancing behind him to take in the sight of a confident young woman flirting shamelessly with one of the jocks by his locker. Her smile was sultry as she twirled her hair around her finger, dropping her gaze and acting coy and Stiles knew that she was playing the game and fully understood what her body language was doing for her. He lifted his head to try to scent her before realising with surprise that she was human. He was taken aback for a moment, recognising her behaviour to be animalistic at its base but maybe she’d just learnt well and had picked up on all the cue’s employed by those of the less human variety around her. He ran his eye over her once more, taking in the obvious attractiveness of her long slim legs and golden curled hair before turning away again, she meant nothing to him. He sighed with despair as Scott continued to gape and had to physically tap his jaw to get him to close his mouth before pulling him away. He learnt her name was Kate when they shared a geography class together shortly after and she’d even managed to wrap the teacher around her little finger, drawing him in with a few educated sounding phrases and a less than innocent flutter of eyelashes in his direction. Stiles just rolled his eyes and turned to stare out the window. He noticed her occasionally around school after that, always hanging out with the popular guys, her husky voice drawing them in close to hang off her every word. Stiles thought little of her, only really noticing when Scott broke of mid-sentence to gape in her direction. He never could’ve predicted she was going to turn his world upside down. The next week he got his usual to-the-point text from Derek and after quickly finishing off the last of an assignment, hopped in his Jeep to drive over. At first it was almost unnoticeable. Almost. But knowing Derek so well meant that he could immediately tell when Derek acted even slightly differently and a soft warning started to sound in his head. Upon reaching the house, Derek just seemed a little distracted somehow, a little off and Stiles had frowned to himself before beginning the tease, annoyed that he felt like he was having to work a little harder than usual to get him involved in the chase. That first time, he brushed it off as Derek probably being worried about the up-coming mid-terms and it didn’t take more than heated fingers applying pressure in just the right places before he was soon giving Stiles his full attention again. The seed of doubt that was planted that night took root in Stiles. He felt it like a black puddle of unhappiness forming in his gut and sitting there, festering away and making him lose his appetite and taking away peaceful sleep. He gazed un-seeing out the window the next morning, picking at his breakfast and hoping he was wrong but having no real idea what to do about it. The second time he felt it, Derek just wasn’t present in the same way throughout the session. He made all the moves and was driven to satisfy Stiles, but his hands felt like ghosts as they moved over him and even his lips felt cool as they pulled away too quickly. Stiles hugged himself after Derek stole away quietly in the early morning, frowning and wanting to deny what he could already feel and knew in his gut. It all unfolded over six miserable weeks and there was nothing he could do to stop it happening. And the first time he smelt her perfume, he knew for sure it was over. He’d texted Derek early evening to tell him his heat had kicked in but he still hadn’t come until gone 10pm, almost like he was considering whether to or not Stiles registered vaguely. He worried for a moment that he wouldn’t turn up at all but thought surely no Alpha would be cruel enough to abandon an Omega in heat without warning. Derek had slowly walked in his room and just smelt all wrong. Even his posture was wrong. He looked guilty and Stiles felt a swarm of bad feeling, of anger and betrayal. His heat was distorting his thoughts and he felt the rage force him forward, he grappled Derek to the ground, growling low in his throat at the unwelcome scent and dedicated himself to eradicating it. He pinned Derek and threatened him with a snap any time he tried to move whilst Stiles rubbed and worked his way to cover up the foreign scent until it stopped stinging his nose so badly. Derek dealt with the behaviour patiently, allowing Stiles to nuzzle and poke and prod him until finally he grasped Stiles and flung him over, mounting him and dominating him as he felt driven to. The session was fast and furious, Stiles unable to understand or articulate the anger he felt but every time Derek flopped away, Stiles felt the energy rise in his chest and he sprung forward again, attacking Derek with teeth bared, nipping at his skin and butting against him with aggression. Derek responded in turn, hot hands running harshly under Stiles’ shirt, finger tips digging into his ribs and hips thrusting roughly, impatiently. He ran a harsh hand over Stiles’ hole, rubbing at the damp fabric there, pushing and shoving his thumb forward. Stiles keened in response to the touch before coming fast and hard in his pants with a loud yell. They continued the game of dominance and thinly veiled violence as Stiles tore through his heat, still taunted by the unfamiliar perfume that clung frustratingly to Derek’s being. It put his teeth on edge and he wanted to desperately to be rid of it. In the end, exhaustion took over and they both fell into bed, unable to continue on any longer. Stiles pulled onto his side, features taut in worry and unhappiness as Derek settled beside him. He slept fitfully and when Derek stirred in the middle of the night, he awoke again immediately but feigned sleep. He waited for Derek to slide forward off the bed as usual but instead, he could feel the dip in the mattress next to him as Derek seemed to still for a moment. He forced his breathing to stay calm and deep before he felt lips press at the base of his neck, barely perceptible, but soft and so there, like a brand to his skin. He broke out in gooseflesh at the sensation and knew what the gesture said without a shadow of doubt. Derek was saying goodbye. He clutched hard at his pillow as he then heard Derek quietly slip away into the night. As the front door snicked closed, he opened his eyes and stared into his dark room. Just stared as his brain seemed to go into survival mode and quit all thought. He spent the rest of the night like that, blank and frozen. He spent the next two days on mental lock-down, he barely engaged with anyone and felt numb in every aspect. He couldn’t process the idea of it all ending and so just didn’t allow the thoughts to take anchor in his brain. The third day he could ignore it no longer as what he already knew became official. His dad got a call from Peter and Stiles sat gripping his blanket listening to the muffled words going on in the room below his. The language was formal following the binding words the boys had signed their names to those few years ago. Derek would respectfully like to terminate the play mating contract held with Stiles due to a new romantic attachment he had formed and would like to now pursue. Stiles rocked as he stared at the wall knowing this was hardly unexpected. Most pairings between the ages of 16 and 18 started to either break away having gained what they needed from play mating, or those who already knew they were mates, would formalise their bond. Somehow Stiles had just hoped the decisive moment could be avoided, he just thought they’d maybe drift apart naturally as they moved on to other things beyond school. The idea of the ties being cut so suddenly and so severely hurt like Stiles never would’ve imagined. He didn’t quite understand what he was feeling and anytime his thoughts started to organise into something coherent, he pushed it all down again, refusing to acknowledge it. His dad came to his room later knowing that something had been going on the past few weeks. He sat quietly at the end of the bed. ‘You ok son?’ Stiles stared at him blankly, face pale and drawn, lips pulled tight as he jerked a nod. His dad sighed heavily staring at his clenched hands in his lap. ‘I’m sorry, I’m guessing you heard the call from Peter about Derek’s decision?’ Stiles nodded again, fingers stiff and working at the blanket he was clutching hard. His dad’s features formed into something like pity and Stiles swallowed before looking away. ‘I gotta say I’m surprised, I thought... well. I didn’t expect this. I know this is so hard for you right now but we do have to think practicalities without Derek being in the picture anymore. You have another three weeks or so before your next heat and you need to put some thought into what you want to do now. There are a couple of options, Deaton runs the open play sessions at his practice where you can just mix for a few hours with some of the other kids or we could start looking at deciding on what medication will be best for you from now on.’ Stiles pursed his lips and sniffed hard, ‘yeah, ok dad. I’ll think about it.’ His dad opened his mouth to speak again before his brow crinkled and he reached out to pull Stiles into an all enveloping hug. Stiles clutched tight at him, appreciating the warmth and protective emotions he could feel pouring off his dad. He kept his defensive shell in place and found himself quietly drifting through school, participating enough to get by but feeling numb and still in shock. The first time he saw Derek stood by his locker with his arm hooked around Kate’s shoulders, he froze in disbelief. His knees felt weak like they would buckle beneath him, but at the same time, an irrational anger started to bubble and rise in his stomach. How dare she touch him, how dare she have what was his, she didn’t even care who she was with, so long as he was hot and popular. His breathing began to grow ragged as he watched Derek duck to listen to her whisper in his ear before pulling back and laughing openly, happiness radiating off him as he held her tight. Stiles whined, eyes opening wide as he turned and ran, books scattered behind him. He skidded down the hallway and out into the parking lot, gasping and cringing at the pain he could feel bubbling inside him. The sky was dark threatening thunderstorms and as a crack of lightening sounded in the distance, he howled mournfully to himself.   That night he called Deaton to make an appointment. He took the next day off school, his dad agreeing that he needed some time to adjust. He saw Deaton that same day and he led him to his office. Stiles sat clutching his hands tightly, knuckles strained white as he tensely stated, ‘I need to start on suppressants.’ Deaton nodded gently, ‘Yes, I heard about the sad parting of you and Derek, I had thought you two so well suited.’ ‘Yeah well, apparently I’m not his type.’ Stiles pit out bitterly, images of Kate flicking her long hair and flashing her cleavage flitting through his mind. Deaton shook his head muttering, ‘teenage boys will get side-tracked so easily.’ Stiles just stared back at him waiting for him to get to the point. His legs felt like dead weights and he felt so incredibly tired, he had no idea why he was feeling so rotten but just wanted to get his prescription and go home to crawl into bed. Deaton rose from his desk to grab a few pamphlets that he handed to Stiles and as if reading his mind began explaining, ‘you will feel some symptoms of detachment from Derek now you are no longer meeting, your bodies will have adapted to respond to each other after all this time. But don’t worry’ he added noting to look of alarm in Stiles’ face, ‘it does wear off eventually but sometimes it can manifest itself in more significant ways than others.’ ‘Fuckin’ awesome’ Stiles muttered to himself. ‘Now it always helps if you are moving straight onto a new partner but I understand that’s not the case for you?’ Stiles shook his head no, slumping further and more despondently in his chair. ‘Ok, so we’ll start you on suppressants straight away, it will help you body to adapt and hopefully they’ll kick in enough so your up-coming heat won’t bother you too much.’ Stiles felt his eyebrow rise, ‘you said hopefully there I noticed Doc.’ Deaton winced as he scribbled on his prescription pad, ‘we can never quite predict totally, sometimes it will take longer for the mediation to suppress your heats and I’m afraid you may not get through your next one totally unaffected. What I can suggest is that you come to the open play-mating session we run. You can choose any Alpha who may take your fancy, all consensual contact of course, but it does work wonders to help ease single wolves through heats.’ Stiles looked skeptical and kicked his foot at the table leg unhappily. He hated the idea, found it demeaning and miserable to consider. He wanted to be in his own room, warm and content surrounded by his and Derek’s combined scent. With a sigh he realised he needed to work on getting beyond dwelling on it, ‘Yeah ok, I’ll come to the next one.’ Deaton smiled, ‘ok, excellent. So, these are the pills I’m prescribing you, it’s twice a day, one in the morning, one at night. Now I do have to warn you, there can be side effects ranging from tiredness and nausea to headaches and cramps. I’ve put you on the one that seems to most widely suit Omegas with the fewest problems but we will need to monitor you and possibly change to suit you as an individual for what works best.’ He continued to run through all the technicalities and confirmed Stiles’ next check-up and the date for the group play mating session, Stiles scuffed his feet as he dragged them walking out the Medical Centre. He felt dizzy and weird, like the sky was too bright and heavy and instead of going to get his prescription filled, he decided he needed to go home for a nap, it was about all he had energy for. He crashed out and woke late the next morning, eyes cracking open to see his dad had been to get the medication for him and had placed the crinkly bag on his night stand. With a sigh, Stiles gazed wearily at the glass jar before shaking out a pill and swallowing it down with stale water. Here goes nothing he thought.   He took his pills and attended school every day. He ate and he slept and he followed the motions of daily life. His brain felt like it had been replaced by cotton wool and he struggled to concentrate but he kept going, kept on walking one step in front of the other until he could close his bedroom door behind him at night and curl up tight under his sheets. His dad was worried and tried talking to him several times but Stiles could barely put his thoughts together himself, never mind try to communicate what was going on with him to anyone else. Maybe he was just bad at dealing with rejection, that could be it he thought grimly. He still couldn’t handle seeing Kate draping herself all over Derek and had to get away any time they were in eye shot. One time Kate kissed Derek goodbye and as she sashayed past where Stiles was huddled trying to avoid them, she’d winked at him, fucking winked at him. Stiles had barely been able to react angered as he was, wondering if she was delighting in the fact she’d split them apart. Not that they were together, but whatever. Stiles wasn’t the jealous type, or at least he didn’t think he was but he couldn’t deny that he felt something pretty close to hating her. Derek was happy though and that was the only thing stopping Stiles from losing it and attacking her. They were growing up and he clearly was looking to the future and Stiles knew he had no right to stand in the way of that. What they had been doing together was not something you built anything from but it didn’t mean he was suffering at the loss of it. When Derek’s heat was due, Stiles could smell the lingering tendrils of scent spread through the hallways and he about thought he might lose his mind. He may’ve ditched school for the rest of that day, not trusting himself to withstand the attraction of that call that his body was trained to react to. It would wear off Deaton said... Stiles dug his claws into the flesh of his hands repeating that mantra to himself as he rocked and whined in his room at home. Derek wasn’t in school the next day but Kate was. Stiles wondered over that before thinking maybe he was wiped out from the night they must’ve shared, it surely would be all the more intense for a wolf being with a new partner. He gritted his teeth and tried not to dwell on the thought. The pills were making him feel like shit, his sleep became disrupted and once the nausea kicked in after a couple of weeks, he started to feel like his body was waging war on itself. As his next heat started to draw close, he started to fear how he was going to get through it but determinedly kept taking his medication hoping his body would adapt in time. It hit a day earlier than he was expecting and he felt totally unprepared. The familiar fever swept over his body and he tossed and turned in his sweat dampened sheets. He wasn’t supposed to be feeling these symptoms now he was on the suppressants surely? He called Deaton in a panic and the Doctor sounded worried, ‘Are you noticing that your symptoms are a little more subdued than normal at least?’ ‘No’ Stiles moaned, ‘it’s starting and I have no idea what to do... oh God, I can’t do this on my own’ he moaned into his pillow. The idea that he couldn’t call Derek was the most distressing thought, he felt like he was about to pass out and could only vaguely register that Deaton was still talking. ‘Stiles? Stiles? Look I’m calling your dad, he can bring you to the clinic and we’ll get you sorted out ok? Just keep calm and it will all be ok.’ Stiles just whined and turned away from his phone, hands working their way into his pants to grip his dick trying to relieve some tension but knowing that was not what he needed, not what would help. Hs dad had left for work already that day but 30 minutes later Stiles could hear him pulling back into the driveway. He helped guide Stiles out of bed and change into a clean pair of clothes. He would’ve felt embarrassed but he was getting so lost in his heat, he could barely function, he just knew he needed an Alpha... his Alpha. His skin felt like it was starting to burn up, his legs weak as he tried to walk out to the car, heavily leaning on his dad. He sat slumped in the passenger seat feeling his ass so swollen and hot, his dick straining hard as he tried pushing at it, frustrated and confused about why his body was betraying him so badly. He stumbled into the clinic and Deaton gently took his other am and guided him down the hallway to the play mating room. He’d immediately been able to smell intermingled scents of strange wolves, both Alphas and Omegas as they’d entered the building and it was making his mind start to buzz, maybe this would be ok, maybe he could get through this. On opening the door, the sound of moans and whines spilled out along with an over-whelming gust of sex hormones leaking into the air. Stiles recoiled in shock before gently being pushed forward with coaxing hands from behind. He instinctively dropped low as he entered, unsure of how to act around other Weres in heat. He was lost when it wasn’t Derek. He wound his way along the wall, watching with interest as he saw both pairings and groups moving and shifting together, some kissing, some just rutting blindly and others baring a lot more skin than he was expecting. One female Omega had her skirt hitched up around her waist, an Alpha with his jeans unbuckled and loose around his thighs was shifting and thrusting against her and Stiles watched for a moment in open amazement before becoming distracted by an Alpha who seemed to be making his approach. Stiles cocked his head and took him in. He was kinda cute he guessed, strong shoulder muscles glistening as he stalked closer, a smile playing on his lips as his eyes raked over Stiles. He edged nearer, scenting the air and Stiles stayed crouched, still unsure of how to react before with a blur of motion, the Alpha sprung and knocked him flat onto his back trying to butt his head against Stiles’ neck. Stiles panicked. He reared up with an angry snarl that echoed around the walls and pushed with all his might to get the boy off him. He just felt all wrong, his scent repulsing him and the heat of his body making him claustrophobic and he couldn’t bear him touching him for a second longer. The Alpha rolled off him, shocked by the reaction and adopted a defensive crouch, teeth bared as he carefully watched Stiles. This was not play and they both knew it. The room had gone silent at the outburst, the only sound was Stiles’ ragged breathing as he tried hard to keep focus. He could feel sobs rising his chest and began to crumple at all the eyes staring at him as his body felt like it was burning up from the inside and he had no idea how to handle any of this. He closed his eyes and gasped before feeling strong warm arms wrap tightly around him and a sharp cold needle pushing into his exposed neck. He struggled for a moment before feeling relief as the world slowly shifted and dropped away under his feet. He awoke groggily to find himself lying tucked up in a hospital bed, monitor beeping quietly next to him. As he stared blinking dazedly around the room, his memory of what had gone on came back to him and he raised his hand to drag wearily over his face before taking in how alien his body was feeling to him. His aches and pains had gone and the permanent nausea he’d had for the past few weeks had disappeared which Stiles realised he’d almost grown used to, but he almost felt numb, his arms and legs foreign to him. Deaton came in shortly after, smiling gently before sitting next to him. ‘How are you feeling Stiles?’ Stiles’ mouth felt like cotton wool, ‘bit rough, gotta say Doc.’ ‘I can imagine. I’ve run some tests and it looks like you’ve not reacted well to the suppressants I prescribed you so I’ll be changing the type you’re on and hopefully you won’t be left in this situation again. I also gave you a sedative earlier, you were too far into the heat for us to do much else I’m afraid, we just needed to get you through it.’ Stiles sat up with panic suddenly remembering what he’d done before passing out, ‘oh god, that other kid... did I hurt him?’ Deaton smiled, ‘no, he’s fine, you just shocked him a little but he was fine. You just weren’t ready to be introduced to a new Alpha yet and maybe you won’t be for a while, everyone’s different.’ Stiles moaned, ‘but I don’t get it, why did it feel so horrible? It was nothing like... like I used to feel with Derek’ he ended with a whisper. ‘You and Derek were very well matched and you’ve grown up with each other.' The Doctor paused for a moment, looking at him intently, 'Stiles, can I ask, how bad your symptoms have been since you stopped play mating?’ ‘I mean, I’ve felt like shit pretty since it ended. Is it just like psychosomatic or something?’ Deaton peered at him gently, ‘no. It can be a very real and painful process to leave a partner. I’m sorry Stiles, I didn’t realise how close you two were, I should’ve prepared you better for this. We’ll get it under control though, don’t worry.’ ‘Ok... but I mean... me and Derek, we weren’t like together together you know?’ Deaton was rising to leave, ‘no?’ ‘No, we just did the play mating thing, that was it. Just physical stuff y’know? ’ ‘I think Stiles, that you may have bonded a little more than you realised.’   His dad came to take him home that evening, Stiles’ head buzzing with the conversation he’d had with Deaton. He didn’t quite understand what the Doctor had meant by bonding, they’d never bitten each other, never even had that much skin to skin contact, how was that possible to have happened? He clutched his new medication tightly and closed his eyes, willing for them to be the magic fix. They weren’t. He felt better for the next few days but gradually an aching started growing in his gut and the nausea started rolling again. He tried hard to not let the tears of frustration seep out at his worst, clutching at his stomach at the dread that he may have to put up feeling like this forever. Through all the discomfort and sickness he was feeling, he vaguely registered that Derek maybe didn’t look as happy anymore when he glimpsed him in the hallways. His posture was falling and his face was looking drawn. Kate appeared to be as full of life and flirtatious energy but she wasn’t lingering over Derek in quite the same way. Stiles watched from afar, interested but not wanting to presume he had a clue what was happening between them. And what was Stiles to Derek now anyway? The guy clearly wanted a pretty girl to spend his future with, not the young gangly kid he’d probably always see Stiles as. After lunch one day, Stiles was taking a short cut to gym and cut down the back of the building. He had his head hung low as he rushed to make it in time for class but as he rounded the corner, he saw a flash of blond hair and a length of bare leg rubbing against a male figure pinned against the wall. Stiles stopped dead in his tracks, breath caught. Shit, had he really caught them - No. It was Kate yes, she turned to him with a wicked gleam in her eyes but the guy, he was not Derek. It was some football dude, big and mean looking and staring at Stiles like he was pissed he’d been interrupted. ‘Hey there sweet cheeks’ Kate purred at him whilst continuing to run her leg against the guy. Stiles stared at her open mouthed, 'what the fuu-'he whispered before turning and running. He had no idea what else to do and he could hear her cackle sounding in his head as he sprinted across the sports field out to the trees lining the area. He had no idea what he was doing but ran further into the quiet of the woods before leaning against a trunk, dry retching as he clutched his stomach, mind reeling. Did she have any idea what she was doing? She was human yes, but surely she’d been brought up to understand wolves? To understand that they didn’t create partnerships lightly and what this could do to Derek... he gasped as he thought of what this was going to do, to sweet, gentle Derek and he raged at Kate for her flippant conceited laugh, for her complete lack of caring for what the repercussions of her actions were going to be. Stiles hung his head, mind reeling, eyes blinded by tears. As he raged at Kate, understanding flared through his mind like a light switch had been flipped. He realised how much the violence and anguish he was trying his hardest to contain was driven by his complete caring and desire to protect Derek. The Derek he knew so well and had now lost to such undeserving hands. He sunk to his knees, burying his face in his sleeve. It hadn’t been just playing. It was so much more. What the fuck was he going to do now?   Chapter End Notes I'll try to get the final part up soon as I can, it's being worked on right now. ***** Chapter 5 ***** Chapter Notes Okay so I'm adding another chapter as apparently I just can't keep to a word count! Not long now though. Sorry this took longer than I intended to get up, real life keeps getting in the way annoyingly. Thank you so much for all the lovely feedback again, you're all very kind. And I'm sorry for continuing angst ahead... Stiles somehow made his way home, breathing hard and pouring all of his being into focussing on getting home safe and not driving off the road. He sat shaking in his room, mind flitting back and forth trying to work out how and when this had happened. Gnawing on his lip and wondering how he hadn’t noticed, he was a smart guy usually, how the hell had this slipped past him? And what about Derek... he clearly didn’t feel the same or he never would’ve broken off the arrangement without even so much as a backward glance. He felt sick to his stomach at the realisation that his difficulty at adjusting to the meds was being aggravated by his Omega hormones screaming out for his partner, his bonded mate and it was too late. There was nothing he could do. He lay curled on his side thinking it over. It all may be slightly more bearable letting Derek go if he knew it was for someone who was going to care and love him as much as another person possibly could, but not for that bitch. That cold-hearted, nasty excuse of a human being who didn’t even have it in her to look remotely remorseful when Stiles had caught her. She almost looked pleased, gloating. Stiles lay clutching at his stomach as it flipped and cramped beneath his cold fingers, he had no idea what to do. Should he tell Derek about what he’d seen Kate do? Would he even believe him? What if it just made it all so much worse, made Derek hate him for being the bearer of the news or thinking he was just out to destroy his relationship? He debated all evening, thumbing over the contact for Derek in his phone, poised to start typing before stopping again in doubt. Maybe he’d try and talk to him face to face, that might be easier, at least Derek would be able to read if he was telling the truth or not then. Before he could make a decision, it all got taken out of his hands anyway. The following morning, Kate sauntered down the hallway with the guy Stiles had seen her kissing outside the gym. Hand in hand they grinned at all the staring faces as people gasped to turn and watch, parting to let them pass. Derek was at the end of the hall and as he caught Kate’s scent, he turned to seek her out. The smile that had begun on his face dropped away as his face turned pale, eyes slitting as they drew closer. The book Derek was holding slid from his grip as he took a step forward, ‘Kate?’ he questioned, his voice raw and unsure. Kate approached him with a grin before stopping to pat his face, ‘hey sweet, bad news I’m afraid, I found a new man to play with. You weren’t quite doing it for me’ she added with a sly raise of her eyebrow and glance down at his crotch, ‘no hard feelings right?’ ‘You...’ Derek began, hands clenched at his sides as he flickered his eyes from her to the guy and back again. She turned away with a flick of her hair and a light laugh, pulling on the guy’s hand to drag him away. ‘Kate what the hell, you can’t be serious?’ Derek began, finally taking in what was happening. The guy turned back to square up to Derek, ‘hey, back up dude, you don’t you talk to her like that.’ Derek’s nostrils flared as he braced himself, the two Alpha’s matched in size, staring at each other with thinly hidden loathing. ‘Get out of my way moron’, Derek spat out. ‘Now, now boys, no fighting’, Kate purred. She was watching the confrontation with something like glee and Stiles wanted more than anything in the world to run over there and crack her head into a locker. He had to keep reminding himself that she was human and that probably wouldn’t be acceptable. ‘What did you just call me?’ the guy asked, prodding a finger into Derek’s chest. A growl started low in Derek’s throat as he started to let his wolf show, ‘oh fuck’ Stiles whispered, this was getting bad, fast. The people around them were backing away knowing that if this turned violent, it could get dangerous in a matter of seconds. Derek pushed forward at the guy, ‘I said, you were a moron. Moron.’ The guy snarled and swiped out at Derek who ducked before lunging back to pull him into a head lock. They both went crashing back into the lockers, buckling the metal behind them before dropping to the floor, the air now filled with their unrestrained angry growls and snarls. Out of nowhere, Coach Finstock appeared and without a moment’s hesitation, pulled out a spray and directed it at the writing bodies on the floor. The boys both pulled apart immediately as it hit, whimpering as the wolfsbane infused spray stung their eyes and noses making them claw at their skin. Stiles winced knowing how painful that was but it was the only way to pull two Weres apart who looked about ready to kill each other. ‘Show's over’ Coach barked at the watching crowd, ‘get to your classes immediately or I will have you all in detention for the rest of the term.’ Students scattered quickly knowing this wasn’t a false threat. Stiles clutched tightly at his bag trying to watch what was going to happen as he edged down the hallway, Kate had gone already, probably laughing to herself at the carnage she’d managed to cause. Finstock was hauling the two boys up by the scruffs of their jackets as they tried in vain to rub the spray out their eyes, their suffering clear. They were taken away and that was the last he saw of Derek for another two weeks. The fight had been the talk of the school for a few days but it had blown over as dramas always do and something else takes over. Stiles worried about Derek but knew his family would be looking after him and felt grateful for that at least. More than anything though, he was still battling through the head fog and sickness the new meds were causing him. It all reached a head when on his third day of not being able to eat but his stomach was still cramping so much it was making him vomit up bile, he threw them in the trash in a fit of anger. If they weren’t doing anything to help with the heat, why bother taking them at all when they making him feel so crap? He knew his heat was due again in another week and decided he was just going to get Deaton to sedate him, maybe he could do that from now on, just get that relief of a simple pinprick so he wouldn’t even have a memory of the heat at all. He woke in the night two days later, flexing his back and arching up before dragging his erection against his sheets roughly. Fuck, why had it come early again? He realised with a dread that stopping the suppressants must’ve messed up his cycle. He felt flushed already, body readying itself for an Alpha that was never coming. He bit hard into his pillow, crying out in frustration at the almost painful sensitivity of his groin, he could feel the slick wetting his pyjama pants and tried working his fingers back there to try and soothe the feeling somehow. He worked a couple of fingers in and dragged them hard at where he could feel the blood pumping in time with his heart beat. It felt good but was still not what he needed. Barely coherent, he stumbled out of bed, whining and moaning to himself before yanking his door open. He fell to the floor in a heap before yelling his dad, he’d know what to do, maybe he had some kind of drug that would numb all this. He lay face first on the carpet, hot and sweaty and biting his lip as he pushed at his erection. His dad flung open his door, ‘Stiles, what’s go- Oh son, oh c’mere, shhh, shh it’s alright’ he comforted, trying to scoop Stiles head into his lap to stoke his sweaty hair back off his forehead. Stiles felt he was about going mad and just stared up at his dad’s face, ‘It hurts dad’ he sobbed as he tried shifting his position to ease his discomfort. His dad stroked his forehead a couple more times before his face set in a resigned expression. ‘Stay here, I’ll be back in a second.’ Stiles whined and watched his dad’s footsteps as he headed back to his bedroom before hearing his voice low and urgent. He couldn’t make out the words, it was too much for his brain to even try to decipher, he just lay there gasping and feeling like he was burning out his skin. His dad came back some time later, Stiles couldn’t tell how long it had been, he seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness. A damp cloth wiped over his forehead and cheeks bringing some brief relief. Stiles lay with his head on his Dad’s lap again, breathing irregularly and writhing in frustration. There was nothing he could do now, he was just going to have to endure the pain and try to stay sane throughout it. He drifted and tossed and turned on the hard floor before becoming aware of a scent he knew so well. No, surely... His dad was calling out and he could see a pair of black boots ascending the stairs through half cracked open eyes, Stiles blinked with weary confusion, was he hallucinating now? His dad pushed him up to try to make him sit upright, his head lolling. The figure had stopped in front of him and now knelt to meet his eyes, hands coming up to hold his cheeks. The feel of the hands was like a balm a thousand times more effective than the wet cloth. He could feel tears flooding his eyes as he blinked harder to try and focus, he saw the dark hair, those ridiculous eyes, but most of all it was the scent and the touch of those careful hands. It was his Alpha and if this was a dream of some kind, he didn’t care, he needed this more than air. He couldn’t speak and so just surged forward to grab hold of Derek, arms wrapping tight around his neck, lips meeting his in a messy, sweaty locked embrace. Slowly, through the haze of his heat, a thought flickered at the back of his mind that something wasn’t right here, Derek wasn’t his anymore. Why was he here... they couldn’t do this... could they? His emotions shuddered and fought each other as he roughly pulled away, glimpses of the past few weeks flashing through his mind. He snapped out his hand to hit out at Derek in his confusion, anger flashing through him at the pain he had suffered the past few weeks, vision blurred and swaying on his knees. Derek caught his fist before it could make contact with his jaw and held it steady in the air between them. Stiles gave a wheezy growl as he felt another pulse of heat ride through him, slick starting to trickle down the back of his thigh. He fought against the intense urge to just dive on Derek without thought and stared at him dazedly, head lowered. Derek looked pale as he continued to grip his hand. ‘Stiles, please... I’m sorry’ he whispered. Stiles whimpered and clenched his eyes shut as tightly as he could, a great sob escaping his throat as he warred with his emotions which were steadily being driven by the over-riding hormones soaking through all the pores in his body. ‘Stiles?’ Derek asked gently, letting go of Stiles’ hand and edging forward to reach out to stroke soft fingers up his bare arms. Stiles gasped and felt his head sway with the contact. This is what he needed right now, it was a base and hungry instinct that needed satisfying, he could feel his wolf rising to the surface and he dived back on Derek, anger and frustration fuelling his action. He knew this was wrong but he was so desperate to feel satisfied just one more time, like it used to be, as his instincts pushed him forward, closer. He gripped hard at Derek’s arms, claws pricking through the fabric of his jacket as he growled and moaned at Derek’s neck pulling in lungfuls of his sweet scent. Derek held him back tightly giving him the strength and soothing he needed to calm the churning in his gut. His body felt like it was on fire but in the right way this time, all energy focussed on his Alpha and the satisfaction he knew he could get from him being here, just from being able to touch. His hips began to hitch as he pressed forward with a biting kiss, pausing just to pull a little and drag some blood from the sensitive lips beneath his own. Derek whined high but didn’t pull away, just let Stiles take. ‘Stiles, please, take what you need, I’ll help you’ Derek whispered as they pulled back, voice shaking. Stiles gazed into his Alpha’s eyes, now wide and dark and ringed with crimson as the connection between them grew heat and his body started to respond without any conscious thought now he had Derek under his fingertips. His movements felt jerky, still unsure about what he was doing but was still driven on in some pull he couldn’t ignore. He breathed heavily before pressing in tighter against the hot Alpha body, steady and still in front of him as they kneeled together. He slowly reached back without conscious thought to pull his pyjama pants lower down his ass whilst staring into Derek’s dark eyes like a challenge. Derek’s hands drew forward to came to soothe over the top of his, stilling his actions. Stiles growled in protest before Derek tightened an arm around his back firmly pulling him up as they stood together. Stiles allowed the movement and clung to him hard, hitching his legs up against him trying to get closer, closer to what he needed. Fuck, if Derek was here right now, he could damn well give him what he needed. Derek pulled him up and carried him back into his bedroom, closing the door gently behind him. Derek carried him steadily back to the bed, kissing and nuzzling at Stiles’ neck as he gasped and clung onto him. He lowered him down and shushed him as Stiles resisted even letting go for a second. Derek hesitated for a moment before just folding in on top of Stiles, pulling him in tight as Stiles locked his limbs around the heated body that anchored him to the world again. Stiles began rolling his hips and rutting up hard and Derek matched his movement perfectly, their gasps and growls sounding out loud in the darkened room. It took less than a minute for Stiles to reach climax and the relief he felt as the release washed over him was indescribable, he finally felt good for a moment, the world came into focus and his thoughts assembled in some kind of order. The constant aches and pains he'd been suffering finally disappearing. This was all he needed, this body in his arms, holding him and guiding him. Derek ground down with two more thrusts of his pelvis sharp against Stiles’ hip bones before he was moaning loudly between them as he found release himself. They lay gasping in each other’s arms for a few more minutes, clothes damp with sweat and come before Stiles started to get twitchy again, the heat starting to build behind his eyes. With a snap of teeth, and butt against Derek’s chin, he flipped then both over and straddled Derek under him. He felt a flood of power and energy surge through him, he never took the dominant position usually but he had been too long without Derek and he wanted to take him for all he could now he was here. Derek just seemed to be watching him carefully, allowing him to manhandle him. He boxed Derek in with arms resting either side of his head as he lay back watching Stiles before he surged in for a powerful kiss, heated and wet as he sucked and grazed Derek’s soft lips, pulling and applying soft pressure alternately. Derek responded eagerly, gasping out breaths in the humid air between them. Stiles was never the one to initiate kisses but he needed this intimacy right now and wasn’t going to hold back and deny himself, the heat surging through his blood making him hungry with desire. Stiles began to rock down again as he slowly started to shift his sensitive ass against Derek’s groin, seeking out the feel of his growing erection pressing against his jeans through Stiles’ thin pyjama pants. He gasped open mouthed against Derek’s jaw as he found the friction he needed, his eyes fluttered as he ground down harder, ‘oh fuck, oh that’s it’ he whispered as he found the perfect sensation. Derek shifted up in reaction, strong warm hands coming to clutch at Stiles’ hips to hold him tightly and keep him locked in place. Stiles hung over Derek’s face breathing harshly and taking in all the features of his beautiful face, he wanted to keep him here forever, just like this, just the two of them always. He bit hard at his lip and closed his eyes and he increased the pace of his movements, hitching forward hard as the sparks of electricity between them fizzed and spiralled behind his eyelids. ‘Fuck Derek, that’s....’ he broke off with a sharp whine as he felt the shudder of sensation shift down his spine pooling in his gut as he came again. His ass felt over-heated as he pumped out further slick, the object of his absolute desire, just lying out of reach. He dove down again to devour Derek’s mouth whose lips lay slack under Stiles’ as he shivered under him, legs flexing up as he used Stiles’ body to get off. Stiles snaked a hand down between their hot and sweaty bodes to find the outline of Derek’s dick hard against the zip of his jeans, he rubbed slowly, fingers supplely working to follow the length of his erection. Derek’s eyes shot wide open as he barely concealed a snarl as he thrust against Stiles’ touch before his body began to shift and jerk as he came between them. Stiles slumped over Derek’s body as he gasped for air, shivers still running through their bodies. Stiles nuzzled and stroked at the skin he could find, trailing fingertips and scenting him contentedly as they both drifted off into a light sleep. He awoke some time later as he felt his spine start to shift, the heat coming over him in waves again. His body ached from the sweat cooling on his body and he felt uncomfortably sticky. Derek had his hands sprawled over his lower back but his eyes were closed as he breathed steadily. Stiles started to shift again slowly, looking intently at the peaceful face below him. He wondered how long he would have this for, had no real idea why Derek was even here now and felt a sick pang in his stomach that it might just be out of guilt that he agreed to come now. Or maybe he was just seeking some validation for his masculinity after the way Kate had utterly humiliated him in front of the whole school. He shifted his thoughts to the side making a deal with himself that he would just get through this heat in the easiest way possible and think about the other crap afterwards when it didn’t feel his pulse rate was about to land him in hospital. He inched his legs open wider over Derek’s hips before gently pulling one of Derek’s warm hands in his, the Alpha starting to stir below him feeling the movement. He was so wet and open it felt like he was burning and he knew what he needed and hoped Derek would be willing to go with this. He butted at Derek’s chin until sleepy green eyes started to blink and peer at him. Stiles stared back, waiting for any sign of reluctance or unwillingness as he continued to guide Derek’s hand back to slowly move under the fabric of his pyjama pants. He let Derek’s hand rest against the heated skin under the waistband as he slowly lifted his hips to pull his pants down to his thighs. Derek was staring at him with wide eyes now, breath coming in puffs against Stiles’ neck as he gazed up at him. Stiles smiled small before lowering himself back down again and taking hold of Derek’s hand. ‘Can you...’ he whispered into Derek’s neck, guiding his hand down to his open and waiting hole, so wet and hot, ‘...please’. He felt carefully for Derek’s index finger and held it in place before pushing his own finger in with Derek’s, keening and gasping at the welcome intrusion. He could feel Derek’s harsh breathing under him as he brought his other hand up to lay on Stiles’ ribs, ‘Stiles.... are you sure?'  Stiles didn’t reply. Couldn’t reply. He was over-come by the feeling of having Derek inside him, just a slight touch, but there. He pushed his own finger forward dragging Derek’s in deeper and began to lose all sense of self as his body reacted on a primal level to finally, finally having what he needed. He clenched his eyes shut and rocked backwards before feeling Derek’s finger flex and start to move in time with Stiles’ heavy rocking, moving slowly and steadily in just the right way. Stiles let out a guttural groan as he threw his neck back, sweat starting to prick up all down his spine, toes flexing in thrill of the sensation. Slow and steady, Derek worked his finger in and out, pausing to draw it soothingly around the rim before stretching back in again. Stiles pulled his own finger back and leaned forward to grip sweaty hands on to Derek’s biceps, gripping hard whilst rocking down onto Derek’s finger as he continued working away. He clenched his eyes shut tight, whines escaping with each heated breath he forced out, the feeling was beyond anything he’d achieved before as Derek kept supplying the incredible pace. He arched his back feeling the slick running thick against his thighs, coating Derek’s hand and filling the air with his Omega hormones. Derek was rocking up beneath him, seeming to be lost in his own haze now, dick hard as it pressed up against Stiles’ ass. Derek’s finger worked in steadily, reaching and reaching as if in search of an ultimate destination. Stiles lifted up and rocked back, voice echoing out when something inside him felt like it had just exploded into a million sparks, his thighs clenched hard and he arched tightly, gripping on to the hot body below him with all his might. He spasmed and shuddered as the orgasm tore through him, Derek following soon after as the world disappeared from around them. It took a while for them both to come back to their senses, eyes blinking the sweat from their eyes, Stiles staring carefully down at Derek who still had his finger inside him. Stiles was reluctant to dislodge him and carefully shuffled in place, keeping him there for the time being despite his sensitivity. They’d never gone this far, Stiles had messed around with his fingers back there but he’d somehow never quite achieved anything that impressed him that much. He never knew what his body was capable of making him feel and this was just with a single slim finger of Derek’s. He grunted at the discovery before face planting back on Derek’s chest, exhausted and over-come with all he’d been through that evening. Derek shifted gently under him and ran his free hand soothingly over Stiles’ back as they drifted off again. Twice more in the night Stiles woke Derek and rocked back on those incredible fingers, now he’d felt that, he didn’t think he could ever get enough. Stiles stared at Derek through the darkness, their eyes glowing faintly as they moved, slick sounds so prominent in the silent house. Tendrils of hair hung down over his forehead, beads of sweat dripping onto Derek’s chest as they silently shifted together, glistening in synchronised motion.   Morning came quietly, eyes opening to find grey skies and an empty bed. He wasn’t surprised. He felt exhausted, to the point he just wanted to roll over and stay in bed all day. Until he became aware of voices downstairs, one he was certainly not used to hearing in a morning. Derek never hung around, he always left in the night after a quick sleep, sometimes meeting Stiles’ dad as he returned from a night shift and Stiles would hear them mutter polite words before Derek would disappear again. He had never once stayed after the sun was up in all their time of play mating. Stiles’ heart rocketed as he wondered what the hell was going on. Now his heat has passed, a million and one thoughts flooded his mind as he could finally keep hold of a coherent thought. Why had Derek come last night, was it just some weird sense of obligation? Did his Dad guilt him into it? It felt like Derek had pretty much given him permission to use him last night, what the hell did that mean? A sick feeling rolled in his gut at how the hell he was going to deal with this. He could still barely understand how Derek had been taken in by Kate and the idea of them being together made his stomach roll. The idea that she had done with Derek what they had done last night, had run her cold fingers against his skin leaving behind her cloying scent made him want to claw his skin off and run away screaming. He wasn’t sure he could forget what had happened, the idea of Derek now tainted in some way. Even though he wanted nothing more than to hold him as tightly as possible and never let go, he knew there was no way Derek felt even a fraction of that connection or he never would’ve considered being with another. He knew he was probably being totally irrational and maybe it was his Omega senses pushing the feelings of neglect and sorrow that his partner had left him but his feelings for Derek had hit him so suddenly and he hardly knew how to process what he wanted. He grabbed his pants and threw on a shirt, pausing as he made to leave the room. He took a deep shuddering breath, he just needed to go down there, face Derek and say thank you but that this was goodbye. The Alpha didn’t want him really, clearly didn’t need him in the same way Stiles did him and with some sense of self preservation, he had to make it clear that Derek didn’t owe him anything and he was fine to leave. He would deal with trying to get over him afterwards behind a firmly closed door. He thudded down the stairs reaching the kitchen door and standing feeling slightly shell-shocked as he saw Derek smiling with his Dad as they both sat with mugs of coffee and remains of a breakfast in front of them. He didn’t know what to say so just gaped at the bizarre domestic scene in front of him. His Dad looked up, ‘mornin’ kiddo, you feeling better?’ Stiles raised his eyebrows before remembering the state he was in before Derek had got there last night, ‘oh uh, yeah, bit tired but fine.’ His Dad grinned, ‘thought that may be the case.’ Stiles flushed and looked away. Derek was staring at him now with steady eyes, hands resting in front of him on the table giving nothing away. His Dad stood to put their plates in the sink, ‘now you two need to talk so I’m going to head out. Ok?’ he asked, patting Stiles on the shoulder as he passed him. Stiles jerked a nod before returning his confused gaze to Derek. Derek stared back for a second before standing to stretch out his back and lean against the sideboard, arms folded as he gazed at Stiles. Stiles stared back in return, trying not to flush from how good Derek looked all loose and relaxed if a little tired. He thought he could see darkened skin around the base of his neck and flinched in surprise that he’d managed to mark him up enough that it still hadn’t faded yet. He cleared his throat and gradually eased his way into the kitchen before standing uncomfortably behind a chair, gripping on tight. ‘Are you ok?’ Derek asked calmly. Stiles stared at him for a second, ‘why are you asking me that?’ ‘You didn’t look good when I got here last night and... well, we went a little further than usual.’ ‘Derek, there is no usualanymore, we’re not play mates now in case you forgot. And I pretty much coerced you in to what happened last night, did you even want to do that? ‘I never do anything I don’t want’ Derek replied calmly. Stiles huffed a dismissive laugh at the arrogant tone to his voice, ‘and anyway, since when were you so concerned about my welfare?’ He could feel the anger growing in him, why was Derek playing this stupid concerned act all of a sudden? Derek crossed his arms in front of him sighing heavily, ‘I care how you are Stiles.’ Stiles scoffed and rolled his eyes, ‘yeah? Well you haven’t cared much these past few weeks when you were all love struck with the lovely Kate. How is she by the way?’ Stiles was being cruel, he knew he was but it was his only way out. He couldn’t cope with Derek being nice, he was likely to burst into tears and beg him never to leave and he was determined to maintain some shred of dignity. Derek looked pained and stared at his feet before clearing his throat, ‘Kate was a mistake.’ He muttered quietly. ‘She said a lot of things that I now realise are bullshit.’ Stiles paused, ‘well, yeah, sorry. Whatever.’ Derek stood up from where he was leaning on the counter, ‘look Stiles I’m sorry you’ve had a shitty time, your Dad told me how the suppressants haven’t agreed with you and your heats have been hard to deal with.’ Stiles stared back at him with hard eyes, ‘that’s none of your business anymore.’ Derek rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, ‘ok whatever. All I wanted to say was that you’re having a hard time with your heats, I hate going through mine on my own and so I was thinking, maybe we could help each other out? Like not the formal play mating thing again but just a casual arrangement... if you’re interested?’ Stiles gaped at him, ‘casual?’ he repeated, thinking he was hearing things. Derek nodded, face still giving nothing away. ‘Yeah you know, just hook up when we need it until we meet our mates or whatever, I just thought it would be mutually beneficial.’ ‘Mutually beneficial?’ Stiles echoed quietly in wonder. What Derek was proposing was not standard for wolves, humans yes, he saw it all around him but wolves? Wolves wanted a partner, a mate, someone to sink their teeth in to for life, quite literally. Stiles hesitated, ‘I don’t know...’ he trailed off gazing around the kitchen, Derek had actually shocked him out of being able to form words. He’d been prepared for a lot of things, but this? Definitely not this. He bit at his finger to postpone giving a response, biting at his skin harder than necessary as he considered that he was a sorry second best to Kate, that Derek just needed a warm body to rut against when the need took him. He would never be more than that to him. But... the idea of having Derek in some way, even this very base way was tempting, so tempting. Even from across the kitchen with the haze of his heat having passed, Derek smelt like all things wonderful in life and if he could cling onto that for a while longer how could he resist the offer? He could control his stupid Omega needs he was sure of it, he just needed to be strong and make sure he didn’t give anything away of how he felt and he was pretty damned good a repressing his feelings. He was sure if Derek got even an inkling of how Stiles wanted to be with him and keep him forever, he’d be out the house faster than he could even say ‘no thanks’. So maybe if he kept cool, kept him at arms length emotionally, this could be a thing? He could keep it all under control, and have at least a little of what he craved most. And he couldn’t deny that the idea of throwing his meds away permanently made it seem like a perfect solution. Attempting the whole playing it cool thing, Stiles tilted his head, ‘I’ll think about it.’ Derek stared at him steadily, ‘yeah. Whatever. Let me know.’ He stalked over and paused a second staring into Stiles’ eyes, ‘see you around’ he added quietly before heading out. Stiles stood frozen, the pull of that body even just walking past him made him want to reach out and never let go like a thousand tiny anchors had been cast, the wires tightening between them. He exhaled heavily and stared blindly out the window, the sound of the tickling clock on the wall echoing around him as his thoughts buzzed and fought, one side cheering that this was the best he could hope for, the other cursing him for being the biggest idiot in the world for setting himself up for a whole lot of heart ache. Derek’s nonchalant response made it all the more real that it wouldn’t mean anything at all to him beyond the physical, he could quite easily go and find another play mate if Stiles turned him down, it would make no difference at all to him.   He talked it over with his dad that night, surprised to find that he thought it was a good idea although Stiles did leave out some key facts, like the realisation he’d had about Derek and what he meant to him. He hoped if he kept it all hidden away, maybe he could maintain some control. ‘Derek was really concerned about you son, he didn’t even hesitate coming over last night you know. I think he regrets ending the play mating.’ Stiles glared at his dad, ‘yeah but he did so he must be ready to move on, find his one and only’ he bit sarcastically. ‘You heard about him dating Kate Argent right?’ His dad sighed heavily, ‘Yes but I don’t think he was maybe quite as ready as he thought to move on. You two are good together, she was, well, a distraction I think. Just think about it anyway, it might be a good idea to consider still meeting up with him, I think your body would thank you for it. The natural route is best if you have a partner to share heats with.’ Stiles stared at his dad wondering if he should explain his hesitance and concern about his heart being able to take it. He picked at the chipped mug he held clasped in front of it. ‘Yeah, I’m thinking about it.’ His dad patted his hand, ‘you’re smart and old enough to make your own decisions now but I don’t think you can go too far wrong with Derek.’ Stiles hung his head as his dad left the room, slowly shaking it from side to side as he exhaled heavily. He wished he felt half as able to cope with this as his dad seemed to think he could. But inevitably he knew what his answer was going to be. He waited patiently for three days before texting Derek a simple, ok. Derek didn’t reply but then he never did. The conversation they’d had in the kitchen was the longest in perhaps their whole time of knowing each other. Stiles had to laugh to himself at how dysfunctional his life had become, it was either that or confront the fact that he felt like he was close to losing his mind.   ***** Chapter 6 ***** Chapter Notes So those of you who pointed out I probably wasn't going to get the story wrapped up in just one more chapter were totally right! This thing has just grown legs and I've written two more chapters on top of this already so thought I may as well post more now as I do have the ending in sight, just wish I had more time to spend completing it. Thank you for all the feedback once again, the last chapter gained a mixed reaction but it's all helpful to the writing process to hear how it's all being understood as it goes along. There's still more angst ahead I'm afraid but it's definitely not the end yet... Derek was back at school after his brief suspension and mostly kept himself to himself, more so than usual. His strong group of friends seemed to act as a shield around him at all times and the gossips didn’t even dare try to bring up the subject of Kate around him. Watching from afar, Stiles was happy that he had such support and felt relieved Kate seemed to have had her fun and had moved on to whoever her next victim was. He found himself tracking Derek when he could get away with it, just keeping an eye out for him, just making sure he was ok. On occasion, Derek met his eye, just a glance and away again. Stiles bit down angry bursts of fear that he now got tingles racing over his skin on that eye contact, he urged his body to return to the days when he would barely react, that would be so much easier. Derek’s heat swung around quickly and Stiles could smell the unmistakable scent from the parking lot. He groaned as he realised how hard his day was going to be having to deal with that all day and pretend like he wasn’t affected. Pairings became very much in-tune with the scents of their partners and although heat scents could be smelt by all werewolves, partners would be so much more sensitive in their reactions to each other. Stiles felt like he might body tackle Derek if the way his knees already felt like they were going to buckle was any indication. He realised that the suppressants he’d been messing around with just seemed to have made his hormones all the harder to bear, his cycle was screwed up and his control seemed shot. He would be fine he told himself, he just needed to keep out of Derek’s way until after school and then they could let go. He wondered idly if his body was boring to Derek now, if it felt wrong and he would crave a woman’s breasts and soft skin as he gazed down at his own thin frame and wide shoulders but he had to put that though to rest. Derek had been the one to suggest this set-up so maybe he should stop worrying and try to block any lingering bitter aftertaste of Kate’s existence from his thoughts. He was preoccupied all morning, hard as he tried to concentrate. They saw each other at lunch from across the cafeteria, eyes met and Stiles stopped breathing for a second. Derek’s eyes looked dark even from so far away and he had to jerk his gaze back to his lunch tray to try and stop launching himself across the room. When he next looked up, Derek was gone. Flicking his pen back and forth whilst listening to the teacher drone on in Biology that afternoon, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. D: U busy? Stiles stared at in confusion, had Derek messaged the wrong person? S: Umm am in class D: Wanna ditch? Stiles let out a loud breath of surprise as he brushed his fingers over the keypad to respond. S: Any reason I should? D: I’m home now S: Good 4 u D: Need u. can u come? Stiles stared at his phone in shock, Derek had never asked him like that before, he became aware of how the ground was shifting in the way this was going to work, it was no longer a contractual obligation, this was choice. His hands shook as he typed back under the desk. S: K. Be there when I can Stiles jittered and tapped his way through the last 30 minutes of class, the clock seemed to be moving slower than ever as he stared at it in frustration. As soon as the bell sounded he grabbed his bag and flew down the school steps, not even bothering to tell anyone where he was going. His body was thrumming with electricity, he was full of nerves and want all warring together but the idea that Derek hadn’t wanted to wait, was showing a lack of restraint turned him on more than anything. He tore down the roads before peeling off the track to Derek’s house, all quiet with his family out at school or work. As he clambered out, Derek appeared on the porch watching him in just a pair of baseball shorts, bare feet brown against the warm wooden deck. Stiles glanced at him fondly for a moment before schooling his features into something a little less keen looking. He allowed a casual smile as he wondered over, allowing his hips to shift in movement maybe a little more than necessary as he saw Derek’s eyes track him. He took a deep breath of Alpha scent and climbed the decking, Derek walked forward and before Stiles could make a move, his strong arms grabbed him and reeled him in to allow Derek to bury his head in his neck. Tears sprung to his eyes at the familiarity of this behaviour, he had thought this was all done, that this had played out for the last time and he’d been working hard on accepting that. He felt a pang of pain in his heart that this essentially still was play, he was just something to get off on. He clutched on tight to Derek’s arms before slowly pulling away, ‘gonna let me inside at least?’ he questioned before walking around Derek and into the house. He heard the door shut behind him and before he could even decide where he was headed, Derek had caught him from behind again, arms sliding around his waist as his chest rumbled against his back and stubble rubbed at his jaw. ‘Dude! Got a strong one this time huh?’ Derek just rumbled behind him before man-handling him over to the couch nearest to them. Derek pulled him over and they fell with a tangle of limbs, Stiles yelping as Derek wormed his way over him, hot and powerful making Stiles want to give him everything he could. Their faces pulled parallel and both moved together to claim each other lips, hot and wet as they tugged and sucked eagerly. Stiles began rutting up keenly into Derek’s hips before stuttering in surprise, Derek was not wearing anything under his basketball shorts and Stiles could pretty much feel everything. Derek pulled back to gaze at him darkly before leaning in and nipping at Stiles’ lower lip before reaching hot hands down to his ass and beginning a punishing pace of rolling against him, almost mechanical in the way he way forcing them both forward. Stiles felt helpless below him, he was spread open and felt over-whelmed by the sudden contact and urgency projecting off Derek, maybe his heat had taken him by surprise or something. They panted hotly against each other before Derek surprised him by coming first, groaning loudly into his neck before sloppily licking and dragging sharp teeth against his neck. Stiles arched into the wetness he could feel between their groins and slid hands down the incredible curve of Derek’s muscular back before coming to rest at his waistband. With a harsh thrust forward, he felt himself reach a blissful climax, hot come spurting as he gasped and flexed against Derek’s hot mouth still working on his neck. He laughed as he breathed hard, patting Derek as he lay heavily over him, limbs weak and loose. They lay few a few more minutes before he patted Derek’s shoulder, ‘c’mon, we should head upstairs’ he instructed. Derek just nosed up his neck and planted a wet kiss to his jaw. ‘C’mon dude’, he tried again, trying to get out from under Derek’s weight, he managed to pull free a little and was trying to get to his feet when Derek grabbed him by the waist and they both unbalanced, falling to the floor with a thud. Stiles stared up at Derek, winded and amused at his reluctance to move. He tried wiggling free again but Derek had him held firmly as he pulled them in flux and rolled so Stiles was now splayed over the top of him. Stiles jerked back again but with no success and he felt butterflies swoop in his stomach at how strong Derek’s grip was and how good he felt in those arms. He planted his knees heavily either side of Derek’s hips and leaned forward to murmur against his lips, ‘your sister’s will be home soon you know.’ Derek either didn’t care or was too lost in his heat haze to do anything about it as he just ran hot hands up the base of Stiles’ neck before running flexing fingers through his hair making him shiver with the sensation. Stiles pressed himself tightly against him and gave in to the feeling as their scents combined, bodies heating up through their contact. Stiles ducked his head to rub his nose against Derek’s lean neck, just nuzzling and scenting in happiness as Derek’s hands began to roam running down his back, fingernails dragging at the fabric of his shirt before reaching the waistband of his jeans. He paused for a second before working one under in a smooth motion to lie against Stiles’ ass and just move steadily against the skin. Stiles gasped, this felt something more now he wasn’t the one clouded by a heat, he was completely aware of how intimate this was and how his body was reacting to Derek without any control. Their hearts were thumping loud against each other’s chests, breaths becoming heavy as they shifted against each other, dicks starting to become interested again. Derek’s fingers gently moved their way to his ass crack and ran down feeling the hidden heat, Stiles pushed up as fingertips brushed against his widening slick hole. He breathed heavily staring down at Derek as he shifted to press up tighter against him, one finger starting to apply pressure, barely needing any force to enter him. Stiles clenched his eyes shut, groaning at the feeling of Derek moving gently inside him, just gradual in, out motion and circling at the rim. He hung his head and panted as Derek moved to claim his lips in a messy kiss before nuzzling into his neck. The hand that wasn’t down the back of his pants clutched hard at Stiles’ hip keeping him locked in as closely as possible as he rocked into the pressure, slowly losing his mind at the sensation. When Derek began moving a second finger to apply pressure, Stiles jerked, ‘fuck, fuck, fuck’ he whispered. Derek paused for a second before Stiles pushed his ass up to meet the intrusion, this was no time for hesitation. They rocked and moved together, Stiles pushing back as Derek started to squirm under him, his thrusts up gaining in power. Stiles gasped wetly, eyes beginning to water with how over-whelming the sensation was before he felt a sudden urge to shift. He stopped still for a second before shifting off Derek causing his wet fingers to abruptly dislodge as he stared back at him in shock. Stiles glanced back at him with half cut eyes before shifting to all fours next to him, hands low causing his back to bow deeply. Derek looked like he’d stopped breathing for a moment before moving with slow sinuous grace to lower his head to meet Stiles’, he stared into his eyes, mouth open loose to breathe in as much of the Omega scent that was pouring off Stiles. With a deep inhale and rumble of his chest, he stroked a single finger down Stiles’ cheekbone before turning to line up behind him. Stiles ducked his head low and raised his ass high, he couldn’t deny the pleasure this brought him, it was the most natural thing in the world and the meeting of their bodies felt like a jigsaw slotting into place. Derek was gentle but firm, hands coming to grip at his sharp hip bones before he ran a finger down the seam of Stiles’ jeans, just applying the right amount of pressure and rubbing for a minute. Stiles heard him exhale deeply again before pressing up behind him and rumbling with pleasure as he started to jerk off against him. Stiles pushed his ass back as hard as he could, noises pouring out of him involuntarily as he gripped his nails hard into the wool rug underneath him, pulling at it as they moved together. They were getting close, so close when through the fog of the over-whelming sensation of pleasure, he heard car doors slam and voices.... voices that grew louder as they rapidly approached the house. He didn’t react immediately, still pushing back in rhythm before his brain kicked in and his eyes flew open wide as he jerked up onto his knees, ‘Fuck, Derek, stop!’ He threw Derek off balance and sent him sprawling onto his back, a glance over his shoulder showed the Alpha lying there flushed, eyes glazed and shorts obscene in the little they covered of his arousal. The voices were on the front porch now and as he heard the door handle turn, he felt his blood run cold at the embarrassment of being caught, he felt like they were inexperienced teenagers again. He threw a cushion to Derek who still didn’t seem to have the use of his limbs yet and edged his way to the side of the sofa to try and cover his sprawled body and the rucked up rug on the floor from view. Not that it wouldn’t be totally obvious what was happening as soon as they walked through the door from the heavy stench of sex in the air and Stiles’ sweaty disheveled appearance. He’d barely pulled his jeans to a more respectable position and raked a shaking hand through his hair before Derek’s sisters and uncle Peter were stepping through the door, chatting loudly. They all took a few steps before stopping abruptly, all conversation dying out as they turned to slowly stare over at Stiles who was now clasping his hands in front of his pants, trying to look vaguely innocent. They stared at him with a mixture of expressions flitting over their faces. ‘Heyyyy, hi Laura, Cora... Peter,’ Stiles waved weakly, clearing his throat in embarrassment. Derek was just starting to come to his sense it seemed as he grabbed the cushion to his crotch and licked at his lips looking like he’d seen a ghost. ‘Ewwwwww’ Cora squealed, ‘you guys are gross!’ she pinched her nose and ran to the kitchen slamming the door behind her. Stiles laughed nervously, ‘umm, sorry about this, we’ll just...’ he gestured, pointing to the stairs and hoping Derek would get with the action pretty soon. Laura cocked her head and smiled, ‘nice to see you Stiles, it’s been a while. You should come down and have dinner with us later.’ Stiles smiled, Laura had always been the calm, kind older sister he’d wished he could’ve had. He sent out a thousand silent thanks for her considerate decision to ignore what was going on right now, he tugged at his shirt, ‘yeah, maybe. Thanks Laura.’ ‘No problem, I mean it.’ She turned to go upstairs before adding in a loud voice, ‘hey Derek, you having issues down there baby brother?’ she cackled to herself as she ascended the stairs and a glance to Derek showed that had worked as the magic cold water to get his brain functioning again. He slowly pulled himself to his knees, cheeks red with embarrassment, cushion still clutched to him like a defense. Peter had been stood with his arms folded by the door, watching the whole scene unfold. ‘Sorry to have interrupted boys, maybe try and hold out until you get up the stairs next time, hmmm?’ he smiled, glee lighting up his eyes. Derek had finally got to his feet and groaned, ‘shut up Peter, I’ll clean up later. C’mon Stiles’ he mumbled going to try and grab at Stiles’ shirt sleeve. Stiles pulled his arm away, ‘sorry, it won’t happen again, you want me to help?’ he asked, waving his arms in the direction of the couch. Peter smiled at him warmly, ‘no, its fine Stiles, you two go do your thing.’ Stiles stared at him for a moment, ‘ok, thanks’ he answered quietly before going to follow Derek up the stairs who was still clutching the cushion to him. Peter brushed on his arm as he passed, ‘nice to see you back’ he added softly before walking away. Stiles stared after him for a moment before taking to the stairs. He swallowed heavily as he made his way up and could feel himself start to sweat. Derek’s family were all so nice, so kind to him and it made his heart ache that he would never be a real part of it, someday soon it would all be over and over time they would become distant like strangers. He bit down on the bitterness that was threatening to close his throat up and once they entered the quiet of Derek’s room, he grabbed at Derek again and quickly pulled him to cover him. He needed to feel the heat, the sense of protection. As Derek began rubbing against him, working them both up to being hard after their little interlude, Stiles tried hard to stop tears from forming in his eyes as he felt them burning under his closed eyelids. Fuck he thought, can I really do this?   Stiles was exhausted by the time Derek seemed to be over his heat, they’d barely had pauses between their rutting and getting off on each other, his ass was even starting to feel sensitive in a way it never had before from the fingering Derek had taken to with a greater intensity the more his confidence had grown with experience. It was approaching 3am and he knew he should get out of there, it would be best to leave now but he was so tired, so incredibly tired and Derek’s heavy arm was so warm and comforting... He awoke with a jerk some time later, dull dawn light glowing faintly through the window and he felt Derek’s arm tighten against his belly as a rough jaw smoothed against his jutting shoulder blade. He groaned quietly, ‘gotta go’ he whispered as he started to shift, stretching out his stiff legs. Derek ‘hmm’d’ in response but didn’t loosen his grip, Stiles sighed and went lax beneath him. He yawned wide cracking his jaw and with the stretch felt Derek hard behind him, he cocked his eyebrow in surprise that his body was still reacting to him after all their activities, he was sure the heat had passed already. Derek breathed in deeply before pulling Stiles in closer to him. Stiles went with the movement still feeling relaxed from sleep and so exhausted but Derek always felt good against him. Derek started to move against him slowly, just gentle rocks of his hips and Stiles fell into the movement with him, face pushed heavily into the pillow below him as he breathed wetly into the fabric. Derek’s hand shifted at his waist before moving slowly down his stomach and to the waistband of the sweats he’d thrown on at some point last night. His fingers spread warmly over his skin before running down the front of his pants and cupping him lightly where his erection was starting to grow, pressing against him causing friction in just the right way. They shifted and moved together in the way they knew best to gain and give satisfaction equally. Stiles felt the almost painful build of pleasure as he came again, slightly amazed that he had any come left. Derek’s mouth was wet at his neck as he mouthed and bit lightly before stilling as he came behind him with a tired sounding moan. They lay there recovering for a few minutes, Stiles feeling his eyes struggle to stay open before forcing one of his legs to the ground at the side of the bed. Derek’s arm slid away from him as he stumbled to try and find his things before realising his stuff was all downstairs after they’d gotten caught up yesterday. He rubbed his hands over his eyes feeling the embarrassment of yesterday roll over him at the memory. He turned to look at the bed, Derek’s body laid spread out, face smushed into the sheet, he’d passed straight out again. He watched him for a minute on unsteady legs before sighing and walking quietly out the room, pulling the door closed behind him. He’d never made it down for dinner that night, not that he thought they really would’ve expected him to, heats didn’t tend to give you much of a break. Walking past the kitchen, he saw a covered dish of meatloaf and a note attached in Laura’s scrawl, ‘Stiles! Try this, made it all myself. Laura x’ Stiles hesitated staring at it, breath caught in his throat. He scratched at his cheek and wondered just what Derek’s family knew of what their ‘pairing’ up now was, of their convenient arrangement. He stared at the dish seeing it all escalate in his mind to represent everything that terrified him right now, all that he wanted but had to force himself to understand was all a fantasy. His mouth became dry as thoughts started to flood his mind, flashing back and forth making him dizzy. ‘Fuck it’ he whispered to the silent kitchen and grabbed a fork to shovel down mouthfuls, stomach starting to groan and barely tasting the food. He finished most of it, feeling slightly sick at the sudden influx of heavy food before scrawling on the end of the note, ‘Awesome! :- )’ Driving down the long track away from the house he peered out at the sun just starting to rise through the trees, light flickering over his features as he gripped hard at the wheel. His mind flashing over the way Derek had touched him this morning. He was kinda sure that he wasn’t still in his heat, those incredible over-powering Alpha hormones were still lingering heavy in the room but they felt like residue from earlier in the night. He puffed out his cheeks, frowning to himself. Maybe Derek thought that now this wasn’t all official, he could play around a little more freely or something but no, Stiles couldn’t let that happen. If it changed beyond the mechanical, those stupid little feelings he was trying his hardest to keep under-wraps would just explode out of control. He couldn’t take anything that could be interpreted as potential genuine desire for Stiles, he knew that wasn’t what was behind Derek’s actions, that he was just reacting to biology, but maybe he was going to have to be firmer with the ground rules.   Determined to return to semblance of normality, Stiles forced himself to get to school on time even though he was exhausted. His body felt good though, loose and satisfied and he felt thankful that at least he wasn’t wracked with cramps and having to run to the bathroom between every class now. He sat with Scott in the lunchroom steadily devouring two large chicken sandwiches as Scott sat and watched in amazement, ‘Dude, that’s like more than I can eat, how are you skinnier than me?’ Stiles grinned showing a mouth of mushed up food, ‘what can I say Scotty, it’s a gift.’ ‘Gross!’ Scott laughed, throwing his empty juice carton at him. ‘So, you’re uh, eating again, looking better...’ Scott trailed off, not quite asking the question that lay heavily between them. Stiles put his food down and sighed at the table, ‘yeah, I’m back to, y’know’ he gestured with his head to where Derek was sat surrounded by his usual crew of scary looking friends. ‘Wow really? Like how does that work now? Isn’t he still getting over Kate or anything?’ Stiles shrugged, ‘no idea man. We just help each other out that’s all. We don’t really like each other.’ Scott peered carefully at him for a moment before declaring, ‘bullshit.’ ‘Excuse me?’ Stiles scoffed in shock. ‘I call bullshit. You have that look in your eyes, there’s more going on than you’re saying. Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll shut up but I don’t think I am, right?’ Stiles ran a hand over his brow, ‘ok, maybe. Just not here... can we head out, I don’t want to talk about this with potential ears listening.' Scott nodded solemnly, ‘course, c’mon buddy.’ He threw his arm around Stiles’ shoulders as they worked their way towards the door, he caught a glimpse of watching eyes from across the room but kept walking, didn’t let his eyes focus on anyone. Once they were out and walking over to the sports field, Stiles finally felt he could talk freely. He stared at the ground, hands shoved deep in his pockets as he tried to explain. ‘So I might have realised I kinda have feelings for Derek. And when I say might, I mean totally do and it sucks like the worst thing in the world because he hates me and he’s so out of my league and I’m just putting myself in the worst position possible and I have no idea what to do... fuck!’ he exhaled heavily, kicking at a rock. ‘Ok first off, woah dude, that’s some heavy shit right there. But I don’t get what you mean about Derek hating you, why would he be hooking up with again you if he hated you?’ ‘Because it’s easy, we get each other off without even having to think but it doesn’t mean he likes me in any way. He just likes what I can do for him.’ ‘I’m not sure that’s true man. I know Kate was a huge mistake for him but he so easily could be with a lot of other people right now but to be coming back to you...I think it says something.’ ‘What, like I’m easy and he doesn’t have to try?’ ‘Dude, why have you even gone back to him if you feel like this?’ ‘Because... because this is the last chance I’ll get to be with him and just a little bit of him is enough to make it worth it’ he answered miserably. Scott cringed, ‘man, don’t do this to yourself if it’s eating you up, this could really fuck with your head if you’re not careful. I mean have you thought that maybe you think you like him because he is the only guy you’ve ever been with? Maybe you’re confusing the closeness you’ve shared as more just because it’s your only experience?’ Stiles sniffed as they trudged further out onto the damp playing field, ‘yeah, maybe’ he said without much conviction. ‘I mean for a start, have you actually talked to Derek about all this?’ Stiles laughed, ‘oh yeah that’s never going to happen.’ ‘Why the hell not? If you like him, he must be a vaguely good guy somewhere under all those glowering scary eyebrows.’ ‘Yeah, he is. Really.’ Stiles agreed, ‘but we’re just not meant to be and I just don’t want to make him feel awkward having to reject me and then having to deal with him never wanting to see me again whilst being around him every day at school, that would suck in the worst way. I’m not sure I could deal with that. Seeing him with Kate made me want to throw myself off a bridge, I don’t think I could go through that again intact.’ ‘Well fine, I think that’s a mistake y’know. It’s kinda not fair on him.’ ‘Not fair on him? Are you taking his side now?’ ‘No, Stiles, what I mean is you’re hooking up with him and it could be something so much more that could make you both happy but you’re not even giving it a chance and maybe it is something he would want too?’ ‘No, look Scott, I think I know something about him by now and I know that he doesn’t want me for the long-term... I’m just... just not what he wants’ Stiles sighed sadly gazing at the pale winter sky. ‘Ok whatever. If you’re totally sure you won’t at least try then maybe you should start thinking about finding the one who will see you the same way back as you see them. Someone who will treat you like the awesome guy you are.’ ‘I don’t think so man, not right now’ Stiles dismissed softly, barely able to think of that possibility. ‘No, hear me out dude’ Scott began, eyes starting to glitter as an idea had clearly caught his imagination. ‘Ok, so have you ever noticed a guy called Jordan in our English class? Sits up front, read out his essay last week on Macbeth?’ ‘Umm, blond hair, friends with Danny?’ ‘Yeah! Well he was asking me about you the other week y’know, asking me if you were dating and what kinda guys you liked.’ Stiles turned to him amazement, ‘Seriously? I’ve looked like shit these past few weeks, is that what he goes for?!’ ‘Maybe he’s not that shallow, hmm?’ Scott smiled, bumping him gently. ‘Huh, wow.’ ‘Soooo?’ ‘So what?’ ‘You want me to hook you two up?’ ‘No, what’s the point Scott? My head is just fucked at the moment, it wouldn’t be fair on him.’ ‘It’s not a big deal Stiles, no heavy commitment or anything. You can just go out, watch a movie or something, have fun, you remember what that is?’ Stiles thought it over, maybe he could do that, maybe that would be good for him. No one could be what Derek had become to him but maybe a kind word, a gentle touch would help him heal, grow stronger and maybe, just maybe it would set him on the right path to finding his eventual compatible mate. ‘Maybe...’ ‘Really? Oh man, yes, this will be awesome! ‘Cos he knows that you and Derek were paired for ages and everything but he was stoked when he heard that was over for you both. Aww you’re gonna be so cute together.’ ‘Hey, back up there buddy, I’m not ready for any getting together with anyone, just a date right? Nothing major?’ ‘Oh yeah, sorry man, just getting a bit over-excited there, he’s just a real nice guy, honestly you’ll like him. I’ll get it all set up for you and give him your number ok?’ ‘Yeah... ok, lets try this’ Stiles agreed letting out a big breath. He felt a tingle of excitement in his fingers at the thought of a date, his first one. He’d never been asked out before but that was mostly because he had been linked to Derek throughout all of high school and in all honesty, his gaze had never really drifted elsewhere. He wondered vaguely to himself why he had never considered this before and why he had never questioned it. He proceeded to change his mind back and forth as the week passed. Jordan had smiled widely at him the next time he saw him in class and Stiles had returned it with a shy smile of his own, he wasn’t used to the attention and it made his stomach burn warm. Jordan caught up to him at the end of class, ‘Hey Stiles, Scott gave me your number and I was uh, wondering if this Saturday was good for you?’ ‘Um, yeah, should be’ Stiles replied, smiling to himself at the way Jordan could barely look at him directly, blue eyes darting around the room as he clutched at his books. Yeah, he was cute, this could be good he thought happily. There were no fireworks, no strikes of lightening but what could he expect really? He had to give this a chance at least. They decided on a movie and a drink afterwards and parted with flushed cheeks. Scott was waiting outside the room for him and bumped him on the shoulder, grinning wide. Stiles turned to him embarrassed, ‘What?!’ ‘Nothin’ man, this is gonna be good though’ he nodded to Stiles. Stiles shook his head at his best friend’s enthusiasm as they headed down the hallway. We’ll see he thought. Shoving his books away at the end of the day, Scott leaned over and muttered to him, ‘Derek’s looking particularly serial killer-ish today.’ Stiles frowned at him, ‘huh? What?’ before turning around to scour the hall and catching Derek turning away, friends buffeting his broad shoulders either side of him as usual as they disappeared out the main door. He shrugged at Scott who was staring at him, ‘he was glaring over here, eyebrows in full force, I’m telling you man.’ ‘He could’ve been looking at anyone, or nothing. You’re making shit up.’ ‘Whatever dude’ Scott disagreed before launching into another random conversation about the injustice of the latest mark he’d been given in History. Stiles let his mind wonder and for a moment deliberated on how open he should be to Derek that he was thinking of starting to date. He idly fingered the worn page of his text book, Derek hadn’t told him about Kate until they were making it official so surely it was reasonable for Stiles to do the same and keep this to himself for now. It barely meant anything and it’s not like what he had with Derek was governed by any of the rules they’d been following before. There was no contract over their heads anymore dictating on how any of this should work. He shook the thought away and hooked an arm around Scott’s shoulder as they walked out of school, mind clear as he looked forward to the weekend ahead and whatever it may hold.   ***** Chapter 7 ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes An hour before he was supposed to be meeting Jordan for their date, Stiles was pacing around his room, clothes scattered everywhere and feeling like he was going to throw up or pass out. He couldn’t do this, fuck he really couldn’t. He’d already showered but felt like he needed to again already. A knock sounded at his door and he turned to see his dad popping his head round, ‘hey son, you getting ready to head out?’ ‘Yeah, can’t decide what to wear nothing looks right’ Stiles stared back with widened eyes of fear. His dad laughed, ‘I really wouldn’t worry, Derek likes you no matter what you’re wearing.’ Stiles frowned in surprise, ‘what? Oh no, I’m not seeing Derek tonight. I have a uhhh... date or something with a guy from school. He’s nice.’ His dad stared at him for a moment, ‘what about Derek?’ he asked in a calm voice, arms folding over his chest. Stiles held the shirt he was trying to decide on limply in front of him, ‘what about Derek? He’s fine. Why wouldn’t he be?’ ‘Stiles I... you two were back to meeting up?’ ‘Yeah... just for heats, that’s all’ Stiles replied, tilting his head at his dad. ‘And that’s it?’ ‘Yeah... I don’t get what you’re asking dad.’ His dad stared at him quietly for a minute. ‘It’s nothing son, sorry, maybe I got the wrong end of the stick. So, this boy you’re seeing tonight, you like him?’ ‘I really don’t know him that well, Scott kinda match-made us.’ ‘Ok, well keep your cell phone with you, don’t hesitate to call if you need me.’ Stiles smiled, shoulders relaxing again, ‘thanks dad, I’ll be fine though, he’s cool.’ ‘Alright’, he smiled softly heading back out the door, ‘oh and wear the blue shirt, you look good in that.’ Stiles looked down at his pile of shirts, ‘ok, thanks dad’ he called after his disappearing form. Weird, he thought. Since when did he think he went on dates with Derek? Parents seriously had no idea sometimes. Finally with trembling fingers and a last call to Scott for a pep-talk, Stiles had gotten himself to the movie theatre without passing out along the way. He smoothed down his blue plaid shirt, shoved a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. Here goes nothing he thought to himself, striding up the stairs to the entryway. Jordan was waiting for him and he looked good Stiles realised, he was wearing dark jeans and a black shirt which complimented his slim hips and muscled shoulders. His blue eyes seemed to be shining as they looked Stiles over and he bit his lip to keep from grinning outright at the look of approval. ‘Hey’ he managed sounding slightly strangled. ‘Hi’ Jordan replied grinning even wider, ‘you uhh, ready?’ Stiles laughed quietly, ‘yeah, c’mon.’ It was nice. They bought popcorn and drinks, made fun of the movie and threw pop kernels at each other annoying the people sat in front of them. Stiles snorted Coke up his nose when they turned around to glare at them and Jordan tried to apologise with some kind of sincerity. They seemed to have things in common and it was easy which Stiles felt absolute relief at as the butterflies in his stomach finally calmed down. The only problem was, Jordan looked at him with soft eyes whereas Stiles felt he was out with Scott, just a good friend. He kept hoping for sparks but there was just no denying that he just didn’t feel anything like physical desire and he had no idea why. Like the guy was cute, no denying it, he even smelt quite nice with his expensive Alpha enhancing cologne on. But none of it made him want to jump him. He got no urge to run fingertips over his strong forearms and the look in his eyes made him a little uncomfortable and sad that he couldn’t return it. Maybe he was so conditioned to Derek that he was just a hopeless case now? Fuck he thought to himself. As they left the theatre laughing, Jordan reached out his hand to catch Stiles’ and threaded their fingers together. Stiles felt his breath hitch in his throat and wasn’t quite sure what to do. He stared at their entwined fingers and then back at Jordan who was now looking out over the street with forced nonchalance. Stiles allowed it until they reached their cars and broke away gently. ‘So I’m really beat’ Stiles began with a faked yawn, spreading his arms wide, ‘you mind if we take a rain check on the drink?’ ‘Oh yeah, no problem’ Jordan smiled warmly, ‘you tired from the week?’ ‘Yeah’, Stiles agreed, ‘all the late night study and shit.’ ‘Uh-huh, studying, right. Is that what you kids call it these days?’ Jordan replied with a wink. Stiles laughed with surprise before quietening. ‘Thanks Jordan, this has been nice’ he smiled, making to open up his Jeep door. Jordan smiled softly before moving in and Stiles felt his heart thud double time, shit, shit shit, Noooohe thought. At the last minute, as if in slow motion, Stiles turned his head just slightly making Jordan’s lips hit his cheek before awkwardly sliding off. ‘Haha, ok, awesome!’ Stiles chirped out far too loudly for someone stood only a foot away, ‘so I’ll see you at school right? Yeah awesome, great movie, good times’ he continued chatting as he tried to angle his body around his car door and slide in without getting any closer to Jordan. As he slammed his door shut in relief, he began unwinding his window and clocked the look on Jordan’s face. Shit. He was the worst person in the world. Those blue eyes had become heavy, his mouth downturned and shoulders slumped. And Stiles had done that. His window finished rolling down. ‘Shit, I’m sorry’ he whispered quietly, ‘I thought I could do this’ he added staring at his window frame. Jordan reached out his hand to clasp warmly over the fingers he had curled around his window, ‘it’s fine Stiles, don’t worry about it. I just hoped I had a chance but I totally understand ok?’ ‘Oh man...’ Stiles whined throwing his head against his head rest, ‘I’m such a shitty person.’ Jordan gripped him harder, ‘no you’re not! Don’t be hard on yourself, I shouldn’t have expected anything anyway.’ He looked over at him sadly, ‘it’s not you dude, you’re awesome, just so that’s clear.’ ‘Ok, thanks Stiles’ he smiled, the sad look thankfully starting to fade. ‘My head’s just in a weird place right now’ he explained. Jordan patted his head as he backed away, ‘well I hope whoever it is who has you in that place deserves your heart.’ Stiles gaped at him as he walked away under the streetlamps. He waved a hand back, ‘night Stiles’ drifted through the evening air as he disappeared into the shadows. Stiles sat at the wheel for a while longer, hands gripping hard as he concentrated on breathing steadily in and out, one breath after another. So it wasn’t a complete disaster he consoled himself with, they had a good time there was just no electricity, no spark. But this was just his first date. He could still find an Alpha who could do that for him though he thought, damnit, one who didn’t have ridiculous green eyes and a perma-scowl. Yeah he’d find a cute, sweet Alpha... he just worried in his heart of hearts that maybe, that wouldn’t be enough for him.   Scott was disappointed when he re-counted the whole thing to him on Monday and even tried persuading him that maybe he just needed to keep trying, maybe make another date and give it time to grow into something. But Stiles knew, he just knew it wasn’t right and it wouldn’t be fair on Jordan to just keep trying in the hope he may grow to like him, he couldn’t do that. He did see him later in the day and they smiled at each other, Jordan nodding to him before walking off. He was glad that they were ok with each other and in no way wanted to hurt the guy which he knew he inevitably would if he tried to pretend they could be together. As if to cement his understanding of what was missing from the date with Jordan, Stiles managed to time getting early out of class with when the basketball players were all heading back to the locker rooms. He held his bag strap tightly as he saw the all familiar shock of black hair above the heads of most other students in the hallway and held his breath. Derek stalked closer, he was damp with sweat from his game, face covered in a sheen and tanned bare arms glowing under the lights. His thin nylon shorts and shirt clung to his frame, the fabric following all contours of his body and as he walked, Stiles could clearly see the swagger of his pelvis and he couldn’t help but slowly rake his eyes over that familiar landscape. It pulled him in like nothing else and he wished that there was no one else there but them so he could just dive into that and make it his own. His body flushed with the heavy gaze he was projecting and he licked his lips unconsciously before jerking back to reality, fuck, he shouldn’t be letting his desire get the better of him, and especially not here in school. His eyes fluttered back to Derek’s face as he was passing him and Derek met his eyes, staring steadily at him before walking past leaving a fading thread of his scent. Stiles closed his eyes and bit at the skin of his mouth, no, no, he was not going to react damnit. He was not doing to turn and tackle him to the ground rub all over him... oh fuck. He was so screwed.   A week later and he could feel the tendrils of his heat starting as he awoke on the Thursday morning, here we go he thought to himself, a strange excitement bubbling in his chest. He was finally going to get to touch Derek again, it had felt too long to wait already. His staring was becoming less and less subtle at school and he was worried he was in danger of screwing the whole thing up by revealing how he was feeling but Derek seemed to just gaze back unconcernedly whenever he caught him so maybe he wasn’t as obvious as he thought. He popped a pill that would subdue the heat for another several hours until he could deal with it after school and got ready for the day, humming happily to himself. The morning passed quickly and he felt good in himself, strong and supple, like his body was limbering up for what was ahead. He was laughing in the hallway that afternoon as Allison was gently ribbing Scott for a dumb answer he’d made up on his English test and had been forced to read out in front of the class when he felt a touch at his back. His expression froze as through his thin white t-shirt he felt a finger tip swipe down his spine from his neck to his lower back before disappearing, making him tingle and shiver at the touch. He whipped around just in time to see Derek walking away, Stiles gaped after him, no way could that have been... but then Derek turned his head just slightly and Stiles saw a hint of a smile tugging at Derek’s lips before he turned away again. Fuck he thought, what the... He stood frozen in shock before Scott and Allison realised something had short- circuited Stiles’ brain. ‘Dude, you ok there?’ Stiles stared at him, ‘Derek just...’ ‘What? What did Derek do?’ Scott began, sounding as menacing as a teddy-bear of an Alpha could. ‘No, he just, I think he just touched me. He’s never done that before’ Stiles explained in an exaggerated whisper. Scott and Allison both cocked their eyebrows at him in sceptical unison which Stiles would’ve laughed at if he wasn’t so freaked out right now, ‘no, I mean obviously he’s touched me’, which earned a disgusted look from Scott, ‘but not here, not in public before!’ Allison gazed at him speculatively, ‘really? Well maybe things are shifting, we’re getting older after all.’ Stiles stared at her a moment longer before realising that was her full cryptic remark. ‘And, what does that mean exactly?!’ ‘Well, it could mean that Derek’s starting to really assess who he wants to grow old and grey with... or he’s just really horny and is getting sent a bit loopy by your heat scent which is getting stronger now.’ ‘It is?’ Stiles stared in horror. Allison laughed, ‘yeah, it’s normal Stiles, don’t worry! You know your heats are going to start getting longer as we get older right? Well your hormones are being leaked out stronger than ever so you can find your mate hopefully in the next few years and y’know’ she waved her hand around. Yeah, Stiles knew. The whole mating, knotting and litters of kids thing. He bit at his lip miserably. He’d never wanted that, had never wanted to feel tied down and labelled as a needy, soft Omega, never happier than when at home. He hated that idea but fuck... why did the idea of that image being made with Derek suddenly become not only ok, but so desirable? When had that forced its way in? But if what Allison had just explained was right, Derek’s touch meant nothing then, just that Stiles was blinding him with the hormones his body was pumping out and Derek was responding to his biology as any Alpha would. As it had always been with them. He closed his eyes and bumped his head against his locker, banging his head softly against the metal as he felt his friend’s caring hands grip onto his shoulders trying to comfort him as they felt the waves of distress roll off his body. Jumping into his car that afternoon he typed out the text to Derek he’d been thinking of all day, S: tonight ok? He hesitated before hitting send. There was really no other choice right now he thought, he had no idea how to get through heats without Derek, once his hormones hit that was all he wanted. At least tonight he’d be mostly blinded from the emotional shit and could just enjoy the way their bodies fit together. Heading down the quiet road to his house he felt his phone buzz with an incoming text and on pulling into his driveway, picked out his phone. Derek’s name shone on the screen with the response, D: coming now Stiles read it in surprise, they’d never gone over right away unless specifically requested and Stiles had definitely put ‘evening’ on that text. He frowned at his phone wondering what the rush was but decided to head inside and have something to eat first at least whilst he could still think clearly. He was in the middle of throwing together a thick sandwich complete with chips and coleslaw piled high when he heard a brief knock at the door before a familiar footfall and heartbeat entered the house. ‘Hey, in here’ Stiles called out through a stuffed mouthful of food. Derek appeared at the door looking freshly showered and mouth-wateringly good, his awesome sandwich paled in comparison he thought glumly. Stiles gulped down his mouthful, ‘hi’ he managed sounding annoying breathless. Derek gazed at him, ‘hi.’ Stiles motioned to his food, ‘umm, you want some? I was starving, thought best have some now, ‘y’know?’ Derek smirked and walked forward before seating himself at the breakfast bar and pulling a half finished bag of chips to him, he pulled one out and crunched it noisily. Stiles stared at him, amazed that he could be turned on by just the way the Alpha’s sharp jaw was working as he chewed, stubble just starting to show by this time of the day. He grabbed his sandwich and tried to stuff as much in as he could to stop anything embarrassing coming out. Derek stared around the room and a few minutes of silence passed as they avoided eye contact. Stiles finished his sandwich and was just rifling through the fridge to find some juice when Derek spoke, ‘So, you had a busy week? Stiles squinted before slowly straightening up to stare at Derek suspiciously, ‘no more than usual. Whhhyyy?’ Derek looked at him with his head quirked to one side, ‘no reason, just wondering’ he muttered as he picked at the chips packet. ‘Right... whatever.’ Stiles was unnerved, Derek never asked him things, what was he doing? What game was going on that he had no understanding off? With an abrupt slug of juice and slamming of the fridge door, Stiles stomped over to Derek and pulled him up by his shirt, ‘Ok, c’mon, lets go’ he ordered. There was one thing he knew and that was play mating. Whatever Derek may be trying to pull with his ‘questions’, Stiles was having none of. As he dragged him upstairs, Stiles continued the mantra in his head, 'I am in control, I am a strong independent Omega...’ They stumbled as they reached the top of the stairs and Derek reached to steady Stiles’ arm as he started to lose balance. Stiles paused and looked back at Derek who was now taking the chance to slide his arm around Stiles’ waist and as they stared at each other, his arm moved to hook around him fully and pull him in to face Derek. Stiles was still pretty lucid, his heat was starting to bubble beneath the surface but he was fully in control right now. Not that Derek had to know that he thought as he breathed in the air that Derek had just exhaled gently onto his parted lips. Not at all, he thought as he brought a hand to hold at that sharp jawline, not one bit, as he pulled those inviting lips to his own. They stood for a while at the top of the stairs, kissing gently as if they had all the time in the world. Stiles hooked his arms around Derek’s neck and Derek held strong around his waist, firm and close they shifted and breathed as their lips moved slick and sweet and patient. Stiles stopped thinking and just took in the warmth, the gentleness of the moment and felt his weight rest on Derek more and more as the Alpha held him up. Stiles raked his fingers through Derek’s soft hair and traced them down to the vulnerable skin at the base of his neck where he stroked gently. Derek shifted and sighed into the touch as their lips parted and he gazed at Stiles with heavy eyes. Stiles smiled at the look, it was like Derek was the one under the influence of a heat he thought dimly. He moved in to kiss at Derek’s jaw, just small kisses over the skin and at the base of his neck where he took a moment to inhale deeply at the scent there. He moaned in pained desire before hooking a leg around Derek’s, the close proximity to the Alpha was bringing his heat on in waves now, it wouldn’t be long he realised. He closed his eyes and hung his head back which Derek took full advantage off, diving in to reach the skin there, pulling and sucking with intent as he held Stiles firm and started moving them down the hallway to his room. Stiles allowed himself be dragged, half carried along, unwilling to unhook his arms at all as his hips started to shift of their own accord. Derek closed the door behind them before gently peeling Stiles away from him. Stiles whined making to grab for him before Derek was suddenly ducking down to remove his sneakers for him. Stiles held onto his broad shoulders to keep his balance as he took them off one by one and he couldn’t help but smile fondly at the careful way Derek was treating him. Derek pulled up whilst toeing off his own shoes and removing his jacket. He paused as he held the hem of his t-shirt, eyes looking to Stiles. Stiles gazed back at him and in silent communication pulled his own shirt off. Fuck it, he thought, he’d had his pants pulled down around his thighs for most of their activities in the past couple of times they’d been together, he reckoned they could move on from wondering whether to take their shirts off now. With his shirt now joining the pile of clothes on the floor, Derek walked forward as Stiles reached out hands to him to welcome him close. Derek scooped strong arms around him again and pulled him in so tight he was stood on his tiptoes, they kissed until Stiles starting feeling dizzy from the heat and the closeness of their chests pressed together. Stiles scrabbled his feet over Derek’s to try and gain some leverage to move against him, sighing with satisfaction when he felt Derek’s hardness between his legs. He managed to work a leg in between Derek’s and as they mouthed at each other’s skin, he started to grind forward, breathless at how good the friction was between them. Derek moaned softly into his shoulder before slowly bending his knees and taking them both down to the soft rug on the floor. Stiles moved under Derek, legs widening to pull him flush, hands grabbing him in close again as Derek rested his forearms either side of Stiles’ face so he could start rocking against him. Slow and steady at first before working up to a full powerful grind as they both began gasping louder and louder, their heated chests slick between them as they moved with increasing desperation. Stiles kept hitching his legs more firmly into place before gasping at Derek’s neck, ‘fuck, oh fuck’ he moaned before coming hard, muscles spasming as he worked through the orgasm. Derek continued pushing down into him, breath wet against his skin as his hands moved down over Stiles’ body, roaming firmly with intent over his ribs and down to his waist where they spanned and lay just over the swell of his hips. Stiles sucked at his shoulder and rocked back as much as he could to get Derek there as well, his hands straying down to feel Derek’s ass flex under his fingertips, ‘mm, you feel so good’ he murmured and a moment later Derek was stilling and letting out soft noises of satisfaction as Stiles smoothed his hands over his back, content and happy for the moment. Derek pulled back and flopped out next to Stiles panting quietly, eyes closed. Stiles watched him carefully, smile playing over his lips. Derek tilted his head over and cracked his eyes open, staring back at him steadily. They lay there sharing something, Stiles wasn’t quite sure what, eyes moving over each others’ faces as they got their breath back. After another moment of stillness Stiles moved in slowly, nosing at Derek’s face making him squirm away in ticklishness, a smile softening his features. Stiles laughed gently before straddling the Alpha and sitting over him, hands splayed out over the tight muscles of his stomach. He rubbed up and down, just to touch and feel the tiny shifts of movement beneath him as Derek reacted involuntarily to the brushes of sensation. He watched intently as his fingers moved across skin, shadows flickering over him as cool sunlight threaded through from the window. Stiles shivered and shifted slightly as Derek brought broad hands up to cup his hips, he smoothed touches before moving around to cup Stiles’ ass. He shifted forward a little more to give Derek better access as he raised his knees up slightly either side of Stiles to help him keep balance above him. He kept his left hand gripping his hip whilst the right one started to slide Stiles’ sweats down lower so he could slip his hand down to where the dampness was starting to soak out. Stiles pitched forward to rest his forearms against Derek’s chest and started breathing deeply into his chest, fingers gripping at the soft curls of hair there as he waited in expectation for Derek to touch him exactly where he needed it. He whined softly and buried his head down as Derek’s finger entered him smoothly, they were getting so damn good at this. Stiles rocked back to the movement and Derek pushed in and out in prefect rhythm, one finger, turning to two and then three in perfectly timed execution. Stiles felt he was losing his mind as Derek hit again and again at that perfect spot with his delicate fingers, he scratched at the firm chest beneath him, gasping hard. As Derek thrust his crotch up in time with his hand, Stiles could feel the heated thickness under him and closing his eyes tightly, he could imagine that they were doing this for real. That Derek was actually fucking into him in the way his body was starting to crave and as the thought flickered around his mind, he began to tense up hard around Derek’s fingers, crying out through bitten lips as he clenched his eyes shut. It was too much, he felt too open, too raw, too exposed. The orgasm came crashing over him, pulling energy from the extremities of his body and pushing it out between them wrapping them up in a hazy light as they shifted together, Derek moaning into his hair as he found his own release. After a moment, Derek carefully pulled his fingers free from Stiles and Stiles felt his hole throbbing at the emptiness, feeling so heated and swollen and just getting primed to take him through his heat. Stiles wiped his sweaty forehead against Derek’s chest which did nothing other than smear more dampness between them. He sat up slowly feeling completely woozy and strangely light- headed. He sat over Derek and reached back plugging two fingers back into his tender hole to make it stop pulsing so hard. The sensitivity he felt was over-whelming and he gasped hard, back arching at the feeling. Derek had been flaked out below him with eyes closed but at Stiles’ movement, they flew open to take in what he was doing. Stiles stared at him looking almost confused, he felt so vulnerable, so under the influence of his biology he wasn’t sure he was going to survive this. His heart was racing as his chest heaved up and down, fingers just sliding back and forth in slow exploratory movements. He wasn’t ready for the next round yet but he just needed to feel full, soothed. Derek seemed to understand somehow and gently moved Stiles off him, Stiles stared back at him for a moment, his knees parted on the rug beneath him. Derek moved soundlessly behind him and pulled gently at his hand. Stiles shifted over to lean his head to the ground and let Derek remove his fingers with a soft whine as he moved to cradle his head in his arms, bare backside presenting so openly to the Alpha behind him. He felt a breath at his lower back and tensed, hands then came to massage at his thighs to encourage him to relax and he found himself pushing back, showing Derek what he wanted. The breath panted against his skin before moving lower still, a finger tip hooked into his rim and smoothed round with just the right amount of pressure before an exhalation of breath in exactly that spot caused a rash of goose-bumps to race over his body as he gasped in shock, ‘oh my god, fuck’ he whispered. A second later, the smooth heat of his tongue pressed at his entrance next to the finger still circling there and Stiles took a deep ragged breath as his body twitched and shook at the sensation, this was more than he knew what to deal with and he whined hoarsely, eyes staring blindly around the room, fingers digging into the rug. He jutted his hips back as Derek continued to touch so softly, mouth now pressing sweet wet kisses, licking at the slickness leaking steadily out of Stiles. Stiles lost all coherency, surrendering himself entirely to the touches that were taking him apart. He flicked his head from side to side, shuddered and moaned as it continued, Derek working slowly as if he had all the time in the world. He so patiently and meticulously took Stiles apart with his sweet touch and warm breath, time passing with a heavy weight as the world reduced to just the two of them together at that moment lost in the pleasure of their bodies connection. Stiles couldn’t remember coming, he was just aware of his body feeling like it had combusted from somewhere deep within as bliss tore through him, he slumped uselessly forward, just caught from smacking his head on the ground by Derek’s powerful arms keeping him steady. He panted uselessly, barely able to understand where the hell he was, never mind think of independent movement. A short while later, he felt arms hoist him up and carry his limp form over to the bed, dampness wiped over his slick covered thighs and ass and he cried out hoarsely at how the friction antagonised his incredibly sensitive skin. He shivered and curled up before feeling a warm blanket being pulled around him as Derek then slid in beside him and pulled him to his chest. Warm and sated, he fell back into the safe embrace of the Alpha, purring deeply as hands rubbed softly over his arms and the scent of the two of them settled his mind. He felt over-whelming peace and never wanted to move again. There seemed a greater intensity to the session, Stiles awakened again a while later and Derek’s hands seemed freer to roam over Stiles’ body than ever before, he kicked off his sweats completely and lost any kind of self- consciousness that he was completely naked in front of him. Derek treated him like he knew what his body craved, using his hands and tongue in ways he’d never imagined and Stiles yielded contentedly to the way in which his body was being made to feel more than it ever had. They were both exhausted as the sun started to rise as they’d barely managed more than an hour’s sleep before being driven for more. Stiles felt his brain slowly starting to come back on line as the heat started to fade and he just ached everywhere, his limbs heavy and skin sticky despite their half-hearted efforts to clean up at various times in the night. He thought back briefly to his talk with Allison that his heats would be starting to get longer and he did wonder how he was going to survive the whole process. Derek was struggling to wake beside him, he usually would’ve been gone by now but he had worked so hard to satisfy Stiles, he could understand the Alpha’s exhaustion. Images from the night began to filter through is mind as he shifted and felt the aches that lay not only on the surface of his skin, but in hidden, private places and he felt himself blush. He wrapped the blanket tighter round himself and thought of how those hands had worked over his skin and pulled out orgasm after orgasm. Fuck, how was he ever going to find anyone who could make him feel the way Derek did. There was no chance in hell he thought bitterly. Derek turned to look at him with a weary eye cracked open, ‘you ok? Your heart’s going crazy.’ Stiles tried hard to contain his bitter laugh, if only you knew he thought. Instead he shook his head and swung his legs over the side of the bed, ‘nothin’ just thinking how hard work school’s gonna be today.’ ‘Don’t go in, stay home.’ Stiles shook his head, yawning heavily, ‘test later, need the grade’ he mumbled, stumbling forward as he tried to catch his balance on weak legs. In a second, Derek was there holding him up, standing way too close with his smooth bare arms and warm breath hitting his skin as he tried hard to keep his blanket tucked under his arms. He backed up abruptly pushing him away, ‘I’m fine man, seriously. C’mon, you have training this morning right?’ Derek stared at him for a moment, face serious and pale looking in the weak light. His hair was tousled and he looked younger and more vulnerable than Stiles had ever really seen him, nothing like the Alpha figure that swaggered down the hallways scattering first years left and right. ‘Yeah I guess’ he answered quietly. Stiles gripped his blanket tighter and nodded with tight lips, ‘well I’m grabbing a shower, let yourself out.’ He held his breath and walked out the room fast, his stomach was flipping as he tried hard to make it to the bathroom without freaking out. The way Derek looked at him with those big pale eyes, looking like he was in no rush to go anywhere... he felt if he stayed in that room a moment longer he would say something incredibly stupid. Like please don’t go. Stay with me. Stay with me always. He hit the water dial and stood under the steaming spray for a long time. It took his dad banging on the door a while later for him to jerk back to reality and clamber out with wrinkled skin and shaky breath. He opened his bedroom door with a nervousness even though it was empty. Of course it was. The window slightly ajar and the chill air made him shiver under his damp towel. Derek’s smell was everywhere and all he could do was curl up on his bed and close his eyes tightly against the headache that was starting to pound through his mind.   Chapter End Notes Yeah more tension and mis-understandings I'm afraid! I wanted to get this posted because I'm afraid I'm going away for a week and a half now and so there's going to be a bit of a delay before the next update, I'm so so sorry!! I hope you can bear with me, you've all been so patient and kind with your comments which means the world to me, so thank you and I'll be back in a bit... :-) ***** Chapter 8 ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes It wasn’t his imagination, Derek was reacting stronger to him and it was like some kind of cruel joke. He’d visited Deaton just to make sure everything was normal and he'd carefully sat him down and confirmed that yes, he was starting to move into the adult stages of his heats. Over the next two years, they would prolong in their manifestations and although there were some drugs that could keep that down to a minimum, Deaton was reluctant to start him on them if they weren’t necessary yet based on Stiles’ previous negative experience with suppressants. Stiles agreed he didn’t want any drugs if he could help it and so Deaton gave him alternative therapies he might want to try, some stinky herbal teas that apparently worked and various powders he could try mixed in his drinks. He was told the importance of keeping a healthy lifestyle now, he needed to eat well, rest well and exercise to make sure he could maintain the stamina he would need. Stiles had thunked his head back, cringing slightly at the idea of longer and longer heat sessions with Derek, he really wasn’t going to make it to his 18th birthday he though wryly. The way Derek’s eyes had started to track him at school made a sickness lie heavy in his stomach. He understood with a bitter acceptance that Derek was just pretty much being drugged by the hormones he was giving off, it was nothing more than that. Derek was tuned into Stiles’ body and it was like an addiction, there was no genuine affection or thought behind it. The long looks following him down the hallway grew into Derek purposefully brushing past him when there was no need. A finger traced down his bare arm as Stiles stood waiting to go into class one day, Derek dragging his heavy gaze over him as he passed. Stiles felt like he was going to black out as his breath shuddered to a stop. When Derek’s heat next came, Stiles felt he was suffocating under the power of their bodies together. It had been a weekend and Stiles had gone over on the Saturday morning with Derek waiting to pull him out his Jeep and haul him up the stairs away from any prying eyes or ears. He had been on Stiles from the first second, strong hands manhandling him as the heat rode over him in waves. It felt animalistic as they play fought, Derek trying to roll Stiles over, Stiles catching Derek off guard so he was able to flip him. Derek’s mom had even knocked on the door at one point to ask if everything was ok after a particularly loud crash as they brought down Derek’s bedside bookcase as they fell to the ground, mouths already devouring each other. They slept for periods of time, limbs clinging to each other before Derek would start rutting once more, pulling at Stiles and trying to shove his hands and fingers into places that made Stiles see stars. They stank of sweat and slick, bodies wet and over-heated as they moved together, the air heavy with hormones and sex. Stiles could imagine it so easily being something real. The boundaries of ‘play mating’ were becoming increasingly difficult for him to decipher, it really didn’t feel very much like playing anymore. By the early hours of the Sunday morning, Derek seemed to be coming to his senses and they were both exhausted, limbs shaking from their exertions, mouths dry and stomachs empty. They lay side by side on the bed, the only sound coming from their light breathing. Derek was trailing a finger up and down Stiles’ arm idly, ‘I’ll make us some food’ he whispered quietly, breath tickling against Stiles’ ear. Stiles heart lurched in his chest. There was nothing he could want more than to stay, to sit next to Derek at the table and share food, have quiet conversation, to build a true connection. But this was starting to feel wrong. He was starting to feel like he was manipulating Derek, that by allowing this to carry on, Derek was being driven blindly into believing this was something real. Something he wanted. The Alpha instinct is strong and inbuilt and after sharing Derek’s heat, of course he felt the urge to provide for his Omega. Stiles lay quietly and hummed non-commitantly and fought the urge to run and be sick. After a while, Derek’s breathing became heavier and Stiles quietly stole out the house, exhausted but terrified of how badly he knew he needed to get out there. He knew this wouldn’t continue. It wasn’t fair to him and it wasn’t fair to Derek but he had no real clue how to go about ending it all and maybe some selfishness came into it. The thought of having to cope alone again was painful. Derek seemed unaffected by Stiles’ disappearance on the Sunday and his reaction to him in public continued to drop in subtlety. The next Wednesday lunchtime, Stiles was stood peeing at the urinal when the scent of the Alpha hit him strong, he closed his eyes briefly and hung his head before turning and slowly allowing his gaze to fall on the figure he knew would be standing to his left. Derek was staring at him heavily, head hung low, nostrils flared. Stiles was aware they were both stood holding their dicks in the stinky school restroom whilst maintaining some wholly inappropriate eye contact. Derek’s eyes roamed over his face and Stiles licked his dry lips in nervousness. He took a shuddering breath before shaking himself off and zipping up, but his feet seemed reluctant to move. He could hear the sounds of kids yelling and talking just outside the room but all he could see was Derek, he took up his whole world. Derek looked down briefly as he zipped up before turning and taking a slow, purposeful step forward. They stood barely a foot apart breathing gusts of air into each other’s faces, a gravity seeming to be pulling them to stand in orbit, eyes locked. The tension was becoming close to unbearable when a young kid suddenly stumbled in the door breaking their connection and Derek flicked his head to him letting out a vicious snarl of warning, fangs jutting over his lower-lip. The kid gasped in shock, freezing before turning on his heel and scurrying out faster than his feet could catch on the sticky linoleum. Stiles stood gasping for a second, pulse throbbing in his throat, he heard Derek take an inhale of breath like he was about to speak but Stiles’ fight or flight instinct was apparently going for the flight option as he threw himself in the direction of the door, relief washing over him as he staggered out into the safety of the well-populated hallway. Fuck, he had no idea what that was but it was more than he could cope with. They clearly couldn’t be around each other alone, Derek was starting to be too strongly influenced by his hormones and Stiles wasn’t sure he had the self-restraint to stop him if anything did flare up between them. He was proved right on the Friday afternoon. He was out on the field warming up for cross-country when coach asked him to run back to the locker room to pick up some cones to use as markers. Stiles had saluted before jogging back in, the cool air burnt his lungs and made his bare legs sting but it was satisfying, he liked being outdoors and exerting himself. Throwing open the locker room door he froze as he tuned in to a horribly familiar heartbeat. Derek was there. Of course he was. And they were alone... fuck. He swallowed his anxiety down as best he could and walked slowly to the storage cupboard and as he rounded the corner he saw Derek stood at his locker, half dressed in his kit and evidently looking for something hidden in his sports bag. He paused before glancing over his shoulder to catch Stiles’ eye before looking away again. Stiles raised his eyebrows in surprise but continued moving forward, barely daring to breathe as he edged his way slowly closer to the storage cupboard which typically was only two lockers way from where Derek was stood. He swallowed heavily but Derek seemed lost in whatever he was doing and didn’t even seem to care Stiles was there. He hesitated for another second staring at the Alpha’s broad back before shrugging and making himself unlock the cupboard and get what he needed so he could get out of there. The cones were wedged in the far corner and he managed to dislodge a couple before sighing heavily as he realised he’d have to shift a load of heavier equipment out the way to reach the rest. He yanked at a heavy cloth bag containing god knows what and stumbled away as he lost his grip, fucks sake, he thought wiping his hands on his pants, why could nothing be straight forward. He was just bracing himself to start pulling again when a cool voice cut in, ‘Need a hand?’ Stiles shook his head minutely, of course. ‘Nah, it’s ok man, I got it’ he breathed out, once again trying to pull on the bag. He yanked back hard a couple of times before losing his grip and pin wheeling backwards before being caught by familiar hands. Stiles danced away quickly, laughing nervously. Derek just looked at him calmly before turning to the cupboard and somehow sliding things clear so he could release the cones far more effectively than Stiles’ poor effort. He stood watching, hands on hips and feeling put out. Derek turned to face him holding the cones in hand, the others piled up behind where he was blocking the cupboard space. ‘Ok thanks man, you wanna hand ‘em over, that’d be awesome’ Derek raised an eyebrow, ‘come and get them.’ Stiles licked his lips and glanced nervously around the locker room. Fuck this was dangerous. ‘Playing the tough guy are we?’ he asked quietly before taking a step forward. Derek didn’t move, just met his gaze with a challenge, chin jutting, cones held firmly still out of his reach. He was still only half dressed, bare chest glowing under the florescent lights as he stood solid in socked feet. Stiles took a breath, tightened his lips and stepped forward again, determined to be strong. He held out a hand and waited. Derek didn’t move, his gaze flickered instead to Stiles’ lips. ‘C’mon man, I need those’ Stiles managed to croak as he wondered where all the air in the room had gone. Fuck, no matter all he agonised over him and Derek, once he was in his presence he seemed to lose his rational mind as his feet continued moving forward of their own volition. Stiles stared down at the cones as he stood inches from Derek, the warmth flooding off his skin, his scent making him feel heady. He moved his hand to grab the cones and Derek simply moved his hand out behind him putting them out of reach. Stiles snuffed a laugh of frustration, they both knew what was going on. ‘Dereeek...’ he whined. ‘Yeah?’ The depth of Derek’s voice low in his ear finally made him twist his head up to look up at that beautiful face. Their eyes caught and before any further thought could pass his mind, he was somehow wrapped around him, lips pressed hotly together as Derek pulled him backwards and in close with equal fervour. They stumbled into the junk pouring out the cupboard, Derek lost his footing and they crashed down amongst all the sports gear. It wasn’t remotely comfortable but at that moment, they were only aware of each other and getting their hands on each other’s skin. Stiles scrabbled his feet back to try and get closer to Derek whilst Derek was busy trying to pull his shirt off, just managing to get it hooked uncomfortably around his armpits. They breathed hot and heavy, hot mouths attacking each other, tongues sliding against the others. Derek had sunk into the pile of crap on the floor and Stiles quickly wormed his way down to find just the right angle to start grinding down. It took a ridiculously short time for them to hit the perfect rhythm, they did this so much it was like as soon as their bodies met, they just worked together in complete synchronicity. Stiles couldn’t believe he was doing this, couldn’t believe how strong this thing was that it could blind side him so absolutely, could make him risk so much by falling, quite literally, into Derek where it could get them into so much trouble. He briefly wondered what his dad would say if he knew how poor his control had become before shunning that thought at how embarrassing that could be. He nibbled and sucked at Derek’s neck pulling out soft gasps and moans from the Alpha as he tried to absorb the flavour and scent of him in the short time this could continue. He shifted forwards meeting Derek’s upward thrusts, their breathing heavy in the quiet room as he panted against his neck, heated and searching for quick release. It was good, so good until he heard a shriek behind them and a clatter of someone banging into the locker room door. Shit, shit, shit, he pulled up off Derek as fast as he could, clumsy hands reaching to yank his shirt down and to re-arrange himself, his cheeks felt like they were burning as nausea started to roll through his stomach. ‘Duuuude, seriously not cool!’ Stiles closed his eyes and sent a silent prayer of thanks to the heavens, it was Scott. Derek was scrambling to his feet and with a barely glance back, Stiles turned to stumble out the room. Scott trying to stop him as he went but he brushed past his best friend in his haste, eyes unfocussed, just needing to get out of there so fast. What the hell had he been thinking? Since when did he just give in like some unrestrained, untrained weak Omega? He felt anger and frustration as he ran out the front doors of the school to his Jeep, he was getting scared he couldn’t deal with this anymore. After moping in his room for the evening and jacking off with angry tears in his eyes to the thought of Derek’s hot hands on him, he decided to take the best course of action he knew, to suppress everything and avoid all situations where he may have to deal with Derek again. Admittedly, not the smartest of plans but it was all he had. He turned up to school each day just as the bell was sounding so he wouldn’t have to speak with anyone and thank god, not see Derek in any shape or form. Scott, bless his heart had covered for him during the gym class explaining that Stiles had got sick and had managed to squirt enough deodoriser around the locker room to cover any stench of their brief hook up. He still felt a strange embarrassment though, like everyone knew in some way, he felt he was going crazy with paranoia, that all eyes were watching him knowingly. He saw Derek a couple more times but on both occasions, made an abrupt turn down another hallway before he had to face any kind of awkwardness.   His heat came the following week and all day he shifted uncomfortably in his clothes, fidgeting and sighing so vocally that a couple of his teachers turned to him with raised eyebrows, unimpressed with his blatant lack of desire to be there. His blood felt like it was burning him up and he could swear he was already getting damp way too early in the day. He felt his stomach knot and flip with anxiety, he was truly starting to feel a little scared at the hours ahead, the tenuous control he felt around Derek was getting weaker and weaker and he had no idea what to do about it when Derek himself was being clouded by his crazy Omega scent. When the minutes finally, finally trickled by to reach 3:15pm, he’d never felt so relieved in all his life. He slouched out to the Jeep and felt drugged as he tried to focus his eyes on getting the key in the ignition. After failing for the third time, he became aware that the driver-side door had opened and a warm hand was folding over his to take the key off him. ‘Heyyy!’ he weakly protested, eyes blinking furiously before inhaling instinctively and almost sobbing in relief at the Alpha scent that filled his nose, he felt he was about to keel over there and then. Derek soothed a hand over his forehead before hooking his arm around his back and helping him clamber back out. Stiles tried hitting at him vaguely, arms flailing in all directions, ‘dude, I’m fine, whatya doin...’ Derek just continued to manhandle him, making him hold onto his shoulder as they walked the short distance to his Camero, Stiles lolled his head against him before burying his nose in his neck and reaching to take a slow lick to taste that gorgeous skin. Derek hissed, ‘fuck, wait Stiles, not here.’ Stiles moaned before lolling forward again as Derek helped settle him into the low seats of the slick sports car. The combined smell of rich leather and Derekness was kinda perfect and he hummed happily to himself as he watched Derek stride around the car before climbing in. He smiled drunkenly at Derek who glanced at him once before turning his attention to getting the car started and peeling out the parking lot cutting up several other drivers in the process. He leaned on the horn as they tore out the school and thank god, they were out. Stiles breathed deeply, closing his eyes and trying to focus, he’d taken the pills that were supposed to be delaying his heat but it felt like they were doing all of nothing right now. Clearly the herbal teas he'd been forcing himself to drink were doing nothing to lessen the strength of his heats either, what was with his body, seriously? He whined and started pulling on his shirt, ‘Derek it’s too hot in here... I can't..’ he popped a few buttons and watched as his shirt fall open before banging his head back against the head rest to stare at Derek. Derek glanced over again and licked his lips, ‘just hang in there, not far now’ he assured. His hands were gripping the steering wheel with whitened knuckles and all Stiles wanted to do was crawl onto his lap and feel those hands on him. He writhed in his seat trying to take deep breaths before giving in to the burning in his lap and grinding his hand down hard against his dick. He moaned loudly and heard Derek swear under his breath before hitting the accelerator, he dimly realised he wasn’t behaving very responsibly but he couldn’t help it, it was like his body was acting under a will of its own. He turned his head to breathe in Derek’s scent as fully as he could before starting to hump into his hand whining Derek’s name. ‘Fuck, Stiles’ Derek muttered throatily before peeling off down a track that Stiles dimly registered wasn’t leading to his house, he made a questioning noise in his throat as he gazed over. Derek flicked his red eyes back, ‘my house is closer.’ Stiles shrugged, it made no difference. He continued working himself getting caught up in the sensation building in his groin when finally, finally, Derek cut the engine and threw off his seatbelt to race around to the passenger door. Stiles was lolling in his seat, long legs spread wide and once Derek had wrenched the door open, he bent to try and get him out his seat. Fuck that, Stiles thought and instead grabbed at Derek’s jacket yanking him down on top of him, Derek lost his balance and ended up sprawled over him awkwardly but it was all Stiles needed. Derek’s neck was pressed against his mouth and he immediately latched on and began licking and nipping with sharpened teeth, the thigh that had landed between his legs, he tightened around and used to build the friction against his dick. Derek was trying to scramble into a more comfortable position but seemed to give in after a few seconds, realising that Stiles was on the edge of desperation and allowed his body to be used as needed. Stiles’ nails scrabbled at all the skin he could find and he locked his limbs tight around the Alpha whose face was smushed somewhere into the side of the car seat. He thrust with urgency, sweat building on his skin until with a final shove and a downward movement from Derek, he found release and his voice echoed loudly in the confined space with the complete relief. Finally. His limbs went slack allowing Derek to pull up, his hair was all over the place from how Stiles had grabbed him and he looked down at him for a second before breaking out into an amused laugh, ‘Wow, that was uh-’ Stiles scowled drowsily, ‘shut up, I couldn’t help it ok. Now get me up to your room before I tackle you on your front porch for all your family to see.’ ‘Demanding as always...’ Derek snarked back at him before pulling off and grabbing his hand to drag him upright. His head had cleared finally for the time being at least and the fresh air felt good against his hot skin. He shook his limbs loose and tried to pull his clothes into place when he felt Derek at his side as he slung his arm around his waist to guide him to the house. Sties went to pull away before realising that he was feeling kinda wobbly and weird still but protested weakly out just to make a point. Derek just gripped him harder and helped him up the stairs and dropped him on his bed. Stiles bounced back on the mattress happily breathing in the comforting smell of the Alpha’s bedroom. Derek was puttering around putting his things away before he started peeling off layers of clothing. Stiles watched on crooked elbows before deciding he’d get involved with all that, he was just yanking his second layer of shirts off when Derek turned to him, ‘Hey will you be ok if I take a real quick shower, I’ll be two minutes, tops?’ Stiles hesitated, he could feel the heat broiling under his skin but he was a lot calmer now he’d got off already and yeah, two minutes he could do. ‘Ok fine. Just y’know, hurry up.’ Derek nodded and stalked out the room in just his jeans. Stiles got all his top layers off before contemplating how much further to go. With a shrug of his shoulders he thought he may as well start prepared and shugged his jeans off too, folding them in a pile in the corner for easy grabbing later on. He sprawled back on the bed and felt the cold sweat starting on his brow again, he could hear the shower running still and so he thought would just ease the tension a little and so he spread his legs wide and slipped a hand under his boxers, cool hand feeling like a balm against his thickening dick. He stroked gently a couple of times before hitching his hips up and feeling back, seeing how ready he was. His hand came away covered in slick and he stared at his glistening skin in the light shining down on him, huh, he really was ready early this time. He was starting to feel uncomfortable again, shivers breaking out over his skin and annoyance flashed through his mind, clearly Derek’s idea of two minutes bore no resemblance to an actual two minutes. Probably conditioning his hair or some shit like that he grumbled to himself as he started working two fingers into himself. It helped but it wasn’t what he needed. After a further two minutes passed and ok, maybe Stiles wasn’t the most patient person in the world, he’d had enough. He huffed loudly before stalking out the room to find Derek and haul him back where he needed him. Opening the bathroom door, he was met with a cloud of steam and he had to blink several times to get his bearings but he knew the room well and made his way to the shower, ‘Duuude c’mon, you trying to kill me here?’ Derek yelled out to him above the sound of the running water, ‘hey, I’ll be out in a sec, sorry.’ Stiles paced a couple of times, he was feeling dizzy and his breathing was becoming more laboured. ‘Yeah not good enough’ he mumbled before dropping his boxers and pulling the shower door open and stepping inside. Derek turned to him with a raised eyebrow and for a moment Stiles wondered just how accidental this oh-so-long shower was. Screw him, he thought before surging forward to capture Derek’s lips with his own, his soapy body making them slide against each other in a wonderful sensation. He sighed into his mouth and Derek’s lips quirked into a smile, ‘Better?’ ‘You’re a fucker’ Stiles moaned, pressing himself in tight. ‘Yeah, yeah’ Derek replied with humour before grabbing Stiles’ thighs to hook him tight around his waist, ‘I guess I kinda am’ he added as fingers started to make their way to his open and waiting ass. Derek’s fingers felt like all he needed to live and he buried his face in Derek’s shoulder as he tightened and throbbed at the sensation. He rocked back and gripped on as Derek hit the perfect angle, fingertips stroking him in a way to make him crazy. He brought his head up to stare dazedly into Derek’s face who looked as lost as he did. They breathed against each other as the water ran over them in shimmering rivulets, their lips met just as Stiles felt the burning start low in his stomach before coming between them harder than he thought possible. They continued kissing as Stiles dropped his legs slowly but Derek still pinned him against the cool bathroom tiles as he rubbed his dick against Stiles’ stomach, Stiles bringing a hand down to help him finish as he gasped out half-bitten off words against his raw lips. It took them both a few minutes to get their breaths back, they ran slick hands over each other’s bodies, just leaning against each other and Stiles realised it was the first time they’d been completely naked with each other. Although he’d started shedding more clothes, Derek pretty much always kept his boxers or pants on, hands always moving under his clothes. He wasn’t sure how or why, it just kinda seemed safer. It was like the last boundary line and he swallowed hard that they’d somehow knocked that final fence down too. He had his head bent and was idly stroking Derek’s abs under his fingers, Derek’s skin so beautiful and golden underneath his own pale skin. Derek’s dick softly hung there amongst dark curls of hair and it felt so good, so natural to be able to touch him now, to have no restrictions. But it also scared him to death. Maybe this was nothing to Derek, maybe he was so comfortable with how being with Stiles was no big deal, was just about fucking, that he could compartmentalise the whole thing. Stiles wished it could be the same for him and as he gently stroked Derek’s treasure trail he bit his lip, why did he have to fall for this guy and mess this whole thing up? Why did he have to start wanting more when it would clearly never work? They were so far off the same page, they were reading different books. Maybe, he thought with a jolt of realisation, he was going to have to do something about this whole shitty mess. Maybe once he’d ridden this heat out, he was seriously going to have to think about either talking the whole thing out somehow or just breaking this off. The water started running cooler forcing them both out, they towelled off dry in silence, both putting their underwear which settled Stiles’ nerves a little more and wondered back to Derek’s bedroom. They settled quietly on the bed, Derek curling around Stiles, heavy arm pulling him in and they rested peacefully with bodies slotted together in the way they had perfected. The night proceeded in much the same way as always, Stiles ended up losing his boxers as Derek seemed intent on winning all the prizes for being able to hit his prostate to get him off in the most infuriatingly perfect way and yeah, Stiles reckoned his diligence to the quest would never be bettered by any other partner he may end up with. He was bent on all fours with all weight resting on his knees and elbows, tears stinging his eyes as he stared out into the deep blue night sky glowing through the open window. Derek had been teasing him, stroking him and keeping him holding just off coming for what felt like far too long, his claws had extended and he was tearing into the sheet below him in frustration, ‘Fuck Derek, c’mon’ ‘Yeah, you want this?’ ‘Ohmygod, if you don’t...’ be broke off into a loud groan as Derek made a particularly well angled swipe with three fingers deep inside him, a forth edging at the rim. ‘Yeah Stiles? What you gonna do?’ Derek asked in a gruff voice before thrusting in again. Stiles grabbed at the sheets as he was rocked forward with the force of Derek's movements, he was just gathering breath for a retort when Derek finally, finally took mercy and kept his fingers where they needed to be, stroking with just the right pressure and Stiles started spurting out hot come, ‘fuuuuuck’ he cried as he fell face first onto the sheets. Derek shuffled in close behind him, he could feel the heat emanating off the Alpha as his ass still hovered in the air, asshole still quivering and leaking feeling suddenly so horribly empty. ‘Stiles, you look so...’ he broke off with heavy breaths, thighs pressing against the back of his own and Stiles closed his eyes with a smile letting Derek finally get off too. He felt hot sticky threads hit his back and for a moment sat there in bliss, there was no more perfect a feeling that this, an Omega and Alpha unified so perfectly. He hummed in satisfaction and Derek spread a warm hand over his back before a sudden shock of realisation tore through him. He moved faster than perhaps he ever had in his life throwing himself off the bed and staggering to grab a crumpled towel off the floor. He rounded on Derek whilst swiping the towel over his back the best he could, ‘Fuck’s Sake Derek! What the hell was that? Oh my God, I’m not on protection, you can’t do that, we didn’t discuss that’ he yelled shrilly, hands starting to shake as he rubbed roughly at himself. Derek stared at him with wide eyes, ‘Stiles, hey it’s ok, it wasn’t near your ass...’ ‘That’s not the point Derek! Shit, you need to be more careful. Fuck!’ Derek shook his head minutely, ‘I’m sorry. I... I wasn’t thinking’ he mumbled staring dejectedly at the rumpled bed sheets. ‘Clearly!’ Stiles bit off angrily, dragging the towel over his skin harshly, trying to twist around to see his back. After a minute, Stiles’ shoulders sagged as he started to calm down he realised it was his back that Derek had come on but he still felt shaken out of his skin that he’d been so stupid, that they both had, in over-looking something so important. The last thing he needed right now was a pregnancy scare. ‘Hey, ok, so sorry dude, I just freaked out, I should’ve prepared for this already anyway, it’s not just on you.’ Derek stared up at him, ‘you want me to help clean you off?’ ‘Nah, I’m gonna grab a shower.’ Derek nodded as Stiles wrapped the towel around him and made his way out the room. He stood in the shower with his forehead resting against the tiles. How had it got this far? They’d always been relatively tame in their play mating, he knew some pairings went all the way as soon as they could but he and Derek had been always so safe, he guessed that’s why it had never occurred to him that he would need to think of birth control. It had all escalated so quickly and he felt he was losing all control over whatever this thing was between them. A chill ran down his spine when he considered that maybe Kate had been the catalyst. Derek had suddenly been so much more confident and forward since they were hooking up in this unofficial- whatever the hell this arrangement was. Maybe she had shown him how much he’d been missing out on and Derek was looking for what sex could be. He banged his head angrily as he bit his lip, he wasn’t going to be anyone’s second best. He wasn’t going to be used as some kind of fill in until Derek met his next fuck no matter how good he felt. He crept back into the room ten minutes later, mind calmed, resolve in place. Derek was still sat up on the bed, eyes glowing out across the room. Stiles went to start putting his clothes on. ‘Don’t go yet.’ Stiles turned to look at him, ‘why?’ ‘It’s still the middle of the night, is your heat actually done?’ Stiles hesitated. It was mostly over, the burning in his veins had gone but there was still a low roll of lust that threatened to flare up in his gut. He paused with one sock in his hand sighing heavily, eyes gazing up at the ceiling. ‘Look I’m sorry Stiles, come back to bed, I’ll stay clothed ok? I feel like shit.’ Stiles scoffed in slight disbelief at this soft side of Derek, this was the side that emerged in the early hours of the morning and it always threw him off a bit, unnerved him. He could deal with silence, anger, snark, but apologies and gentleness? That freaked him the hell out. ‘I should probably go, I’ll be ok.’ ‘Look, stay a bit, we’ll sleep, make sure your heat is over and I can drive you back in the morning ok? I can take you by Deaton’s too if you want, get a morning after pill just in case.’ Stiles realised suddenly that he didn’t have the Jeep, Derek had driven them. Why did he let that happen? Oh yeah, he hadn’t even been able to walk straight that afternoon. He stared over at Derek, ‘ok, fine. And yeah, I wanna go by Deaton's’ He threw on his t-shirt, underwear and socks before making his way over to the bed. Socks weren’t sexy, maybe they could protect him for the rest of the night? Derek scootched over to the far wall giving him plenty of space and Stiles gave a small forgiving smile, he wasn’t a bad guy and he did actually trust him, they’d just lost sense in getting carried away with the whole thing and really, with how things had been progressing, he guessed he shouldn’t be so surprised. He lay curled on his side facing Derek and closed his eyes, he was exhausted really and sleep didn’t take long to find him.   Chapter End Notes Sorry I know this is a very frustrating chapter again but things all come to ahead in the next one and Stiles finds his voice... Thanks for reading :-) ***** Chapter 9 ***** Stiles awoke early morning, he’d switched sides in the night and now Derek was holding him loosely from behind but it was ok, he felt comfortable. He let himself drift in and out of consciousness, slowly coming back to his senses, stretching out and kicking Derek accidently whilst doing so. Derek grunted and his hand tightened on him minutely before a puff of breath hit the back of his neck, ‘Time is it?’ he croaked. Stiles stretched his neck to see the clock, ‘5:45am, I should get going soon.’ Derek hmm’d but made no move to move, but then neither did Stiles. They were cocooned so warmly and the thought of standing in the cool air was not appealing. Derek’s thumb stroked lightly at his t-shirt but it was pleasant, it felt nice. Stiles moved into the touch unconsciously and he heard Derek clear his throat like he was about to say something but there was just silence. A minute later his throat clicked again and Stiles waited to see if any words would come out this time. ‘What?’ stiles asked grumpily after silence fell again. Derek cleared his throat ‘so umm, you don’t want kids?’ he asked very quietly into the skin at the back of his neck. Stiles froze, heart thudding, ‘it’s uhh, not really top of my thoughts right now.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Why?!’ Stiles spluttered, ‘how about because I’m 16 and unmated? Not really something for me to be considering at this point in life.’ Derek’s grip against his belly had become stiff, nose cool against his skin, ‘in the future though?’ Stiles shook his head, ‘yeah maybe, I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to bring a kid into the world until I felt like there was a strong home to bring them into y’know.’ He was feeling wide awake now, nothing like a terrifying discussion about children to wake you in the morning. Derek nodded against him, silent for a few minutes before flexing his fingers and gripping tighter, ‘we could’ he whispered quietly. Stiles felt his blood flush hot then cold. He opened his mouth to speak but had lost all saliva, he cleared his throat a couple of times, croaking out ‘we could what Derek?’ ‘We could mate’ ‘What the fuck?’ Stiles screeched throwing himself out of his grip and landing in an unceremonious pile on the floor at the side of the bed. Derek’s head appeared a second later as he peered down at his sprawled body, his pale eyes staring at him with a frightening vulnerability. Stiles pointed a shaking finger at him, ‘you, you don’t know what you’re saying.’ Derek cocked his head, ‘yeah I do, we could do that. It could work... if you wanted to.’ Stiles shook his head and turned to throw his clothes on, muttering under his breath. A mixture of anger and complete fear surged through him, he couldn’t believe this, out of anything he could’ve predicted for Derek to have said, this would not be it. He spun on his heel to look back at Derek who was perched on the edge of the bed, hands clenched between bare knees. Stiles could almost see the boy he’d known when they’d first met, that shy, gangly thirteen year old who could barely look him in the eye, how things change he thought wryly. ‘Ok Derek, how about this for why that would be a ridiculous idea’ Stiles began, listing off with his fingers for emphasis, ‘number one, you don’t really know me, you know my body but we don’t talk, we fuck. Really well maybe, but that’s not enough to decide to be mates for ok? You said yourself that this arrangement was just to deal with the physical side of things, we’re not a couple or anything’ he gasped shrilly, eyes wide, arms flailing out. ‘Number two, oh and this is a biggie! You left me for Kate which makes it really apparent to me that I’m clearly not what you want, I’m not a pretty girl to hang off your arm, and two minutes into us being together you would realise that and would want out. And Derek I... I can’t go through that again.’ He let out with a shuddering breath. Derek’s eyes had become shuttered and dark, he shifted his gaze to the far wall, shoulders hunched as Stiles continued, rant fuelled by all the weeks of frustration and fear he had been suppressing. ‘And number three, we’re 16 Derek! Do you really want know what you want for the rest of your life right now? I just... in what world made you think this might be a good idea? Is it just an easy solution?’ Stiles sighed with resignation. Ok so maybe that had been a little harsh, but seriously? He started quietly this time, ‘Look dude, my hormones are sending you like this ok? Some shitty turn of nature is making you think you want to be with me, your judgment is being clouded and you’ll realise that as soon as you stop being around me. We just need... we need to go find the people right for us. So I’ll leave you alone if you leave me alone, how about that?’ His voice was starting to crack as he watched Derek sit in silence, his arms rigid as he clutched at the mattress beneath him, breath coming harsh before he swallowed loudly. Stiles ached to go over to him and stroke his soft hair, take him in his arms and utter words of devotion to him but this wasn’t right. Sure, he could accept Derek’s offer now, he could get what he wanted but in his heart of hearts, he knew it was wrong and that down the line it would all blow up in his face. He wouldn’t be able to sleep at night, wouldn’t be able to look himself in the mirror without feeling like a fraud. There were such strict lessons taught about Omega’s and the power they could hold over an Alpha and Stiles would never ever want to be one of those Omega’s they warned about in videos. This was not Derek’s real choice and he had to make him understand this. They would never be in a secure place, they would be driven by lust and animalistic instinct but Stiles needed more than that, he wanted to feel secure, loved, to find someone to make a home with. He waited a second longer before being unable to take looking at Derek’s pale face, he grabbed his stuff and ran out the room, flew down the stairs, out the house and raced down the dirt track in the early morning air. His heart felt like it was about to burst, his eyes full of tears as he pushed to get his distance from the house. Once he reached the main road to town he paused and stood by a tree, dry heaving as the world spun in front of his eyes. He could feel himself start to hyperventilate and tried hard to count his breathing, slowly drawing breath in on each count of ten. He didn’t know how long he stood there, just leaning over, eyes swimming, heart racing. Eventually everything calmed enough for him to feel in control a little more and he dug his hands in his pockets before beginning the long walk home. He could call his dad to come get him but he kinda needed this, needed the air and the space to try and get his mind back on-line after his major freak out. It took him an hour and a half to get back to the main part of town by which time rush-hour traffic was just starting to kick in and his feet were starting to hurt where they were rubbing on his sneakers. He stopped by a 24 hour clinic and sat and waited to see a random doctor, he somehow felt ashamed that he had made such a foolish mistake, that he had let things go so far with Derek that he failed on sex education lesson number one. He thought seeing Deaton’s disappointed face was more than he could bear right now and he was a little scared his dad might be called and that would just be the worst somehow, so anonymous clinic it was. He saw a young, rather distant doctor who asked him the perfunctory and pretty intrusive questions and eyed him coldly before agreeing to give him the morning after pill. When he started out on what was essentially nothing more than a patronising lecture, Stiles snapped, stating he wasn’t going to be having sex anymore now anyway so this really wasn’t necessary. He grabbed the medication, dry swallowing the pill as he fled the clinic, horrified and sick to his stomach at how shitty he’d been made to feel. By the time he shuffled into the house, he felt totally drained and so exhausted, he kicked off his shoes and just crumpled onto the living room couch face first with a moan. It said a lot for his state of mind that he hadn’t even spotted his dad was up and moving around in the kitchen, it scared him nearly half to death when he heard a laugh from the doorway. He jerked his head up before scrambling to find the right way up and meet his dad’s look, ‘mornin’ he croaked with a half smile before horror swept over him as he felt his lips start to shake and before he even knew what was happened, fat tears were coursing down his cheeks and his breathing started coming in heaving gasps. He shoved his hands over his eyes, rocking back and forth before feeling the couch cushion dip next to him and his dad’s strong arms gather around him pulling him in close, hand soothing over his hair as he murmured reassuringly to him. Stiles was just so tired and over-come by all that had happened and it all just seemed to rise to the surface, there was nothing he could do to stop it. It took him a good while to ride it all out and all the time, his dad held him firmly as if keeping him together in one piece just by his fierce determination. After a while, the tears slowed and he felt he’d emptied something out of himself, he felt slightly shell-shocked but not so close to breaking point now. He gradually pulled away, wiping his eyes with his sleeves and biting his lip in embarrassment. ‘You want to talk about it son?’ Stiles shuddered a breath and offered a watery smile, ‘So I umm, I don’t think I’ll be seeing Derek anymore.’ His dad frowned, ‘you broke up again?’ Stiles laughed croakily, ‘I’m not sure you’d call ending what we had ‘breaking up’ but yeah, it’s done... it was never going to be long term y’know.’ His dad stroked his back, ‘I thought you two would make a good go of things.’ Stiles smiled wryly, ‘yeah well, Derek was saying some crazy shit about us being together, like properly... but he didn’t know what he was saying. It was kinda weird. And it just freaked me out and made me realise it was time to move on from all that.’ ‘You don’t feel that way about him then?’ ‘It’s...’ Stiles sighed, struggling to explain and somewhat unwilling still to admit how much he really did want Derek out loud. ‘It just wouldn’t be right, I know that. He just... he just got carried away.’ He didn’t elaborate on just how ‘carried away’ that was. ‘He’s always felt strongly about you son, I don’t think he was just lost in the moment if that’s what you’re stuck on.’ Stiles pulled away, ‘Dad, you have no idea what we were like together and are you seriously taking his side here?’ he felt his anger start to rise as he clenched his fists at his side, eyes starting to burn. His dad sighed and shook his head, ‘I will always be on your side son, always, you know that. You’re my first and only priority and if you feel you don’t want to see Derek anymore then I absolutely stand by you ok? I just want to make sure you’re making the right decision.’ Stiles hung his head and sniffed, ‘I am dad, I know I am.’ His voice started to wobble again as he continued, ‘it’s just been really hard lately, I felt so shitty when he wasn’t around but it’s been even harder since we hooked up again and I just feel exhausted from it all in every way possible. I just want to feel ok, feel like myself again.’ He watched as a teardrop fell onto his clasped hands and sparkled in the cool morning light, he was too scared to talk about his experience at the clinic that morning, anguish churning in his gut. There was quiet for a moment before his dad dragged him back in for a hug again, ‘we’re going on vacation as of now. It’s nearly Christmas break and I have leave left to take and I can speak with school so you can hand in any last assignments online. We can go to that little cabin your Aunt Clara owns near the lake at Greenvale, you can go run the forest tracks, go skating, maybe I could show you how to fish? Or we could just watch the snow outside whilst we watch movies and drink Eggnog, how does that sound?’ Stiles scrunched his eyes shut and buried his face in his dad’s shirt happily inhaling the scent of comfort, protection and home. His dad meant the absolute world to him and right now he felt he could squeeze him to death out of happiness, ‘That sounds like heaven.’ His dad flexed his arm, ‘you’re going to stop worrying about all this and we’re just going to have some father-son bonding time, long over-due I think. And I’m gonna feed you up some, you’re feeling too skinny son.’ Stiles smiled, pushing at his dad, ‘I’m fine dad. Although if Aunt Clara wants to leave us some of her special sugar cinnamon cookies, I wouldn’t say no...’ His dad laughed before releasing Stiles with a few pats and going to make all the necessary phone calls to arrange everything. Stiles headed upstairs for a long shower before pulling out his travel bag and trying to throw together what he would need for a few days away. He still felt a little shaky and outside his body, the little pit of blackness in his stomach still making him queasy but the thought of getting away from everything at Beacon Hills, from Derek, was just perfect. He felt a flush of excitement that he could act like a kid again, his dad would spoil him and maybe he would be able to get his mind back in focus, planning ahead for a future that somehow was not going to include Derek. Arrangements made, his dad packed up the car with seemingly half the contents of the house before they pulled out the driveway, Stiles selecting his favourite radio station and relaxing back in his seat with a slouch. He always felt his most secure and safe around his dad, even though he’d come to the realisation a few years ago that his dad wasn’t quite as invincible as he’d believed when he was younger, sitting next to him inhaling his scent made his heart settle and he rested his head back and breathed easy. He hummed along to the radio whilst his dad sipped slowly at his travel coffee mug, he could feel his eyes start to slip closed as the landscape flew by quicker and quicker once they hit the freeway, lulled by the steady motion and rumbling of the tires against the road. He awoke a couple of hours later, back aching from how he’d slumped over in his seat and he pulled up with a wince feeling his spine crack. He yawned loudly before staring out the window in amazement, they were going pretty slow due to the fat white flakes floating down around them, the surrounding land covered in a beautiful layer of fresh snow, Christmas lights strung up on houses they passed looking like sparkling jewels twinkling prettily as the evening started to draw in. ‘Wow’ he breathed heavily against the glass before turning to grin at his dad who looked back at him looking equally happy, ‘good idea to come away?’ ‘Hell yeah, this is awesome, man Scott’s gonna be so jealous.’ He’d had some pretty intense snowball fights with Scott in the past and felt slight regret he wouldn’t be there to join them, maybe he could convince Scott’s mom to drive them up for the weekend. Twenty minutes later Stiles was starting to feel restless and was relieved when his dad indicated off the road to hit the track he recognised as leading to Aunt Clara’s cabin. They used to come and stay up here fairly regularly when he was younger and he only had good memories associated with it, over the years they came less and less, maybe that had something to do with his mom dying and he and his dad forgetting that they needed to take time off sometimes. The cabin looked like a fairytale setting, snow lying heavily on the roof, lights glowing out at them that Aunt Clara had considerately left on for their arrival. Opening up the door, it felt warm and cosy and Stiles leapt on the plate of cookies that had been left as a welcoming gift for them, a note lying alongside them explaining where to find everything they would need. After unloading the car and making a quick run out for some groceries, the sun had gone down and the temperature was dropping and they were both more than ready to get the fire roaring and to sit back and relax. Late into the evening after his dad had cooked a huge meal for them both, he was gently snoring sprawled out in an armchair and Stiles was bundled in a thick rug whilst stretched out on the sofa, a demolished packet of Oreo cookies lying crumpled on his stomach. He could barely move he felt so lazy and content, fire dying down and stomach full of good food, he gazed sleepily at the TV screen not really taking in what was showing before surrendering to sleep. Derek had barely crossed his mind the whole time... barely.   For the next few days, Stiles threw himself willfully into forgetting all the shit that had been going down recently in his life and filled every minute he could with just doing cool things. The first day he stretched his legs with an awesome run through the surrounding woodlands, his dad started out with him before calling it quits after a couple of hours and letting Stiles go on alone. He continued down the peaceful winding tracks until the earth under his feet started to change and he found himself hitting sand and as he broke from the cover of trees, he could see the ocean as a long, pale silver stretch meeting the horizon. He breathed deep feeling the fresh, salty air whip pleasantly against his heated skin and he jogged along the damp sand, mind clear as he just listened to the sound of his feet moving under him, the whole beach deserted. He felt the most restful and settled he had in a long time. He knew he couldn’t ignore everything forever, knew that he would have to go see Deaton again and wok out how to deal with his heats but for now, he was happy to ignore things for the week, felt he deserved some time to heal and recuperate. He still didn’t tell his dad all the gory details of everything that had happened and his dad knew not to push, that Stiles would open up when he was ready. They visited their Aunt Clara who lived a few miles away in the nearest town, her house was all decorated for Christmas and the Stilinski men took advantage of being spoilt with lots of good food and a refusal to let them lift a finger to do anything. In the late afternoons, Stiles got around to finishing of the last few assignments he needed to complete for school and found the quiet of the cabin perfect for concentrating. He Skyped with Scott who looked happy for his friend and totally envious of all the snow, upset that his mom wouldn’t drive up as she didn’t have the snow tires for the roads out there. It was a brief moment of idyll which he knew wouldn’t last but it was all brought to an abrupt halt a lot sooner than he imagined. The call came in the early hours of the morning. Stiles shifted in his bed, so warm under a heavy layer of blankets and at first he wondered what had woken him. He was all set to roll over and ignore whatever sound he’d heard until he became aware that his dad speaking quietly and he realised with a slow understanding that his dad had only bought his work cell with him and when that rang, it always meant without fail that something bad, something serious was going down. His heart started to thud in his chest as he rolled onto his back watching the hallway light flick on. He couldn’t make out any words clearly but his dad was speaking in his precise ‘sheriff’ tone and a pit of dread started forming in his stomach. He was sat up when his dad opened his door, light pooling in around him. His face was serious as he held the phone out to Stiles, ‘Stiles, it’s Peter Hale, he wants to speak with you.’ Stiles blinked a few times and cleared his throat, ‘oh right, ok’ he croaked, grabbing the phone. ‘Peter?’ ‘Stiles, Derek is missing, do you know where is?’ he barked out abruptly. Stiles reeled back in shock, clutching the phone tightly, it almost took him a moment to understand his words through his fuzzy, sleepy brain before he could blurt out, ‘no! What do you mean he’s missing? And why would I know where he is?’ ‘Are you being totally honest with me Stiles? Now is not the time to be covering anything up, if you two have some kind of plan you need to tell me right now, I’m being serious.’ ‘I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about Peter, I have no clue where Derek may be, I’ve not seen or spoken to him since last week. What’s going on?’ He heard Peter sigh heavily and the sounds of rustling as he was clearly moving around. His voice was gentler as he spoke again, ‘he’s disappeared and we need to find him quickly. He’s not been well, we’re worried he’s got himself in trouble.’ ‘What can I do?’ Stiles asked desperately, he was pacing up and down the room now, his dad watching carefully from the door. Peter laughed faintly, ‘nothing Stiles, nothing.’ Stiles clutched the phone angrily, ‘there has to be something, can we help search? How long has he been gone for? You’re scaring me...’ ‘Ok Stiles, listen to me carefully. If all Derek is to you is some heat relief once a month and you’re feeling some kind of mis-placed guilt to help out of obligation then just don’t. Stay where you are, forget I called and leave Derek alone-’ Stiles began trying to butt in at this, shocked at Peter’s blunt words but he carried on speaking over him. ‘But if you actually do care genuinely for Derek, and he means something to you, then yes you can help us search. His parents are tracking him through the forests at the moment and he’d headed north following the coast line is all we know so far. You can start tracking down wind, see if you can pick up any kind of scent. It’s been five hours since we know he was here definitely so he could have covered a fair bit of ground already.’ ‘Ok, we’ll start out now’ Stiles replied urgently, his dad nodded from the door and disappeared, presumably to go get ready. ‘I need to go now Stiles, I’ll update you when I hear anything more.’ ‘Yeah, course, I’ll -' he broke off when he heard Peter had hung up already. He threw the phone on the bed and stared around his room wide eyed, not even knowing where to start. ‘Daaaad!!, Dad!’ he yelled, ‘we have to go, Derek, he’s, he’s... Daaad!’ His dad reappeared, fully dressed and looking serious he grabbed Stiles’ arms and held him steady, ‘Stiles, look at me, breathe. Calm down and get dressed in something warm. I’ll get the car de-iced and we’ll head off. Don’t worry, we’ll find him’ he added stroking Stiles’ hair as he left him to get ready. Stiles nodded and took a deep breath to pull himself together and quickly grabbed his clothes to get dressed. With one last look around the room, he grabbed the cell and was ready to go. His dad was just filling two travel mugs with coffee, they wordlessly nodded to each other as they locked up behind them and jogged out to the cruiser, breath fluming out in white mists in front of them. Stiles’ mouth was dry and he clenched frozen hands between his thighs as they edged carefully down the snowy path, he had no idea how realistic it was that they would be able to trace anything but his dad’s face was set with his determined sheriff face, jaw tensed as he eased them out to the freeway. ‘Do you think he’s ok?’ Stiles asked, voice cracking. His dad flicked his eyes over to him, ‘I don’t know Stiles. It depends how far into the forest he’s gone... how sick he is.’ Stiles licked his lips nervously, ‘fuck’ he whispered under his breath. ‘We’ll find him son, try not to worry.’ Stiles hunched his shoulders and shook his head staring into the darkness, how could he not worry? He had no idea what was going on, why the hell would Derek just take off like this? What had been going on? And werewolf or not, there were a hell of a lot of bad things could happen to a lone, sick, Were in a forest in the middle of winter. His dad cranked down the window on the passenger side and Stiles winced at the blast of frozen air that hit his face, ‘grab a blanket from the back, I need you to try and find a trace of Derek’s scent.’ Stiles nodded and inched forward to make sure he was taking in the gusts of air as they raced down the empty road. He felt hopeful at first, sure that he would easily be able to catch Derek’s scent on the breeze but as they tore through the miles, his heart started to sink and he felt desperation creep in. There had been no further contact from Peter and even his dad’s jaw had tightened up further, the silence heavy between them. After forty-five minutes he was gulping hard trying not to let tears escape, he’d run through all the worst scenarios that could be the outcome to this night and felt so scared, mind numb at the thought of something happening to Derek. That maybe it was something he could’ve prevented, why had he been heading north? Was it just coincidence? The phone starting ringing shrilly in his lap and he jumped in shock, almost dropping it when trying to answer it seeing Peter’s name, ‘Peter?’ he asked urgently. ‘We found him. He’s near the turn-off for Lakeview, your dad will know where that is, I’m guessing you’re not far off.’ ‘Dad, turn off for Lakeview?’ ‘Yeah son I heard, we’re two miles away, we’ll be there in less than 10.’ Stiles nodded and turned back to the phone, ‘we’re close. How is... is Derek ok?’ he asked, voice wavering. ‘From what we can tell, he’s been attacked. His parents are with him, I’m just pulling up now, I have to go.’ The phone cut off and Stiles dropped it to his lap in horror, what the hell did that mean? He’d been attacked... by what, why? He knotted his hands tighter and focused on breathing steadily and his dad reached out to pat his knee, ‘we’re close now.’ Stiles’ leg was jogging up and down frantically, he wanted to get out the car and run the rest of the way, as they reached the sign for Lakeview he started pulling tendrils of a familiar scent from the air and felt frantic to get out there already. Worst still, the scent was off, it seemed sickly and he could pick up on anxiety, fear and blood. Also the scent of several other unknown werewolves. ‘Oh god' he moaned, banging his head against the headrest and fearing the worst, his imagination going into over-drive. Heading down the road he yelled at his dad to slow, he knew they were getting closer and as a wailing siren approached from behind, an ambulance over-took them and they followed behind. They pulled off down another track which led to a clearing where they could see a group of people moving around, two police cruisers already there with flashing lights. Stiles swallowed heavily and when his dad finally pulled to a stop, he grabbed the door handle and threw himself out nearly sending himself sprawling before trying to find a recognisable face. The police looked busy with a group of four werewolves who were all handcuffed and were being guided into the backs of the cruisers. He ignored them and looked to where he realised there was a body laid stretched out on the ground surrounded by a group of people, the ambulance pulling up alongside them. He seemed to lose his hearing, there was just a high pitched whine echoing in his ears as all focus became directed to a pinpoint of that dark figure wrapped up in something and lying so, so still. Why wasn’t he moving? Stiles walked forward blindly, he felt hands try to pull him back but he just snarled and shook them away, he needed... he just needed to see him, to touch him... he had to be ok. Right? He pushed through the figures and fell heavily to his knees, he had to blink several times to clear the heavy tears that were blurring his vision. An involuntary heavy moan started to pour out of him as he reached a shaking hand out to stroke at the thick black hair, he ran a finger gently along a blood-stained cheek bone before pitching forward yelling Derek’s name and trying to shake him awake. Why wouldn’t he open his eyes? He had such pretty eyes, why would he keep them closed? The stench of blood was making his stomach turn, it was almost blocking out Derek’s sweet smell and he hated it, he wanted to get them away from here, far, far away where things were ok again and no one was lying out on the ground like that was freakin’ acceptable when it clearly wasn’t. Hands gripped him firmly again and although he struggled, he felt his strength leave him in a flood and allowed himself to be shifted away limply. His dad grabbed him and held him as he slumped forward and gasped and heaved into his shoulder as a soothing hand cupped his neck. He heard commotion behind him and pulled away to see Derek being carefully lifted onto a stretcher, his parents stood looking as pale and shell-shocked as he felt. They glanced over to him, his dad giving a nod before they rushed to follow Derek to the open ambulance. Stiles went to pull away to follow but his dad gripped him tighter, ‘wait, we’ll follow behind.’ The flashing lights were sending weird illumination around the clearing and Stiles flinched away as the ambulance pulled out, siren wailing as it sped off down the track. Stiles turned to grab his dad frantically, ‘c’mon, we need to go.’ They were headed towards the cruiser when one of the cops called him over, the Sheriff hesitated looking to Stiles in conflict when Peter rushed over to them. ‘John, I’ll take Stiles if you want, we’ll follow the ambulance, you do what you need to here.’ The Sheriff hesitated for a moment, looking to Stiles who stared with desperate eyes. ‘You ok with Peter son? I’ll be there as soon as I can, I just want to find out what’s going on with these guys’ he gestured to the cruisers holding the strange werewolves. Stiles was already tugging on Peter’s arm, ‘yeah that’s fine dad, I just want to get to the hospital, we’ll see you there...’ he shouted as he ran over to Peter’s car. Peter wasted no time in following quickly behind and pulling out with impressive speed. They sat in tense silence for long minutes, Stiles sat clutching his hands together and rocking in the seat. Peter stared straight ahead, eyes cold and distant. ‘Why was he attacked?’ Stiles finally managed, his voice sounding cracked and raw from the yelling he’d been doing. Peter stared straight ahead, ‘a lone, young Alpha male heading uninvited and unexpectedly into another pack’s territory with unknown intent? This is the result.’ ‘But he wasn’t looking for trouble right? Why would he want to provoke them?’ Peter sighed heavily, ‘no Stiles he wasn’t provoking them intentionally. I don’t think it would even have crossed his mind of what land he was passing through. He wasn’t thinking at all.’ Stiles swallowed heavily, ‘so why-‘ ‘Stiles’, Peter cut in abruptly, ‘are you really as dumb as you’re acting? I used to think you were a smart kid.’ Stiles felt his skin flush cold, ‘so he was...’ ‘Yes Stiles, he was looking for you, drawn to you like a moth to a flame, as always.’ ‘I don’t understand though, he’s not on his heat yet right? I know it’s not time yet. Why would he do this?’ Peter sighed again in frustration, ‘look we don’t know exactly what’s been going on with him, all we know is that last week after spending your heat with him he totally withdrew, it was like the light had gone out in his eyes. We’ve all tried to talk with him about it, he even yelled at his mother and she’s always been the one he opens up to. It’s been clear it was something to do with you, he did say that you’d gone but that was about all we could get out of him. He’s been making himself ill, he won’t eat, he barely sleeps and seems to have been spending his time circling your house and then disappearing for hours into the forest.’ Stiles stared in disbelief, horror dawning on him at how badly Derek had taken the way that Stiles had left. Peter glanced at him before continuing, ‘we actually grounded him from leaving the house two days ago after coming home nearly hypothermic one night, he’s let his body deteriorate that it can’t even heal like he should be. Hence the urgency in needing to find him tonight. I just wish we’d got to him sooner.’ Peter sounded angry as he gripped the wheel and Stiles could understand that but he couldn’t believe he was all to blame, ‘You’re right that last week I told Derek I didn’t want to see him anymore, it all got too much between us and then my dad said he wanted to take me away for a few days... I thought Derek would just need a bit of space from me and he would forget all about me. Find his next girlfriend or whatever.’ Peter swung his head around to look at him with a hard glare. ‘Wow you really are a whole lot dumber than I thought you were.’ ‘Hey whoa! That’s not fair, what the hell have I done wrong? Derek never tells me what’s going on in his head ok, the whole thing is like some freakin’ impossible guessing game with him. And it’s not really about me anyway... he just thinks he wants me because of my hormones.’ Stiles stared miserably out into the darkness, fingernails cutting into the flesh of his hands. Peter quietened for a minute before speaking in a softer tone, ‘Have you two ever had a conversation, a proper conversation about your pairing?’ Stiles snorted, ‘umm nope. We don’t really do talking.’ ‘So... this is ridiculous’ Peter muttered before hitting his hand against the steering wheel in frustration making Stiles flinch away, Peter was kinda scary and seemed to be holding a lot of quiet anger inside him. ‘When Derek was eleven years old he suddenly started asking to be taken to places he’d never been bothered about before. He asked to sign up for swimming lessons on Saturday’s when he’d never really cared for swimming before, he wanted to go for ice-cream at this very particular shop after school, he asked to go to the Sheriff’s station whenever there was an open day of any kind and would then hang around for hours.’ Peter stared over at Stiles with a raised eyebrow, Stiles just looked back trying to breathe steadily and take in what Peter was suggesting. ‘There was a common element to all these sudden new interests of Derek’s Stiles, I’m sure you can guess what that might be. Or who that might be.’ Stiles gaped, ‘huh, wha...’. His heart was thudding as his brain helpfully flashed images at lightning speed, memories of swimming lessons with Scott which were supposed to help ease his asthma, the ice-cream treats his dad would take him for after school when he got good grades and all the times he stood handing out leaflets at the station on days the public could come and look around. He felt the earth tilt under his feet as Peter continued. ‘Derek had no idea why he was being compelled to suddenly do these things, he just wanted to be where he felt good, where he felt content and his heart would stop hammering so hard. Some people say Were’s are lucky that we can detect those best matched to us, that we have such enhanced senses that we can almost taste a perfect mate. But equally, it can also be like a curse. To be so driven to be with someone, to just stand near them, to touch, to scent and that being the only time that peace can be found or we start to slowly lose our minds...that can lead to difficulties shall we say.’ Stiles couldn’t find his voice, his throat clicked as he tried to speak, ‘eleven? But I never... he never spoke to me then.’ Peter shook his head, ‘he wasn’t aware Stiles. His mother had to sit him down one day and explain to him why he was so drawn to all the places you were. He was too young to understand and refused to accept it to start with, annoyed that he could be so influenced by the idea of finding a mate at such a young age. Eventually he realised it wasn’t going to go away, we weren’t moving off the land and you two attended the same school and so I stepped in suggesting we pair you up for play mating. It seemed the perfect solution. Derek would be able to get his ‘fix’ of you so to speak and allow him to lead an otherwise normal life. And that would also give you the chance to get to know each other, build on the connection you two had.’ ‘Wow’ Stiles breathed. He couldn’t believe their hormones had fucked them both over so royally, it seemed so unfair. ‘I hate that biology can just dictate our lives y’know’ he muttered rubbing his face wearily with his hands. ‘It’s not just about biology when it comes to mates though Stiles. Look, when I asked you to only come and help tonight if you actually cared about Derek, felt something for him, is that actually the case? If it’s not I can turn this car right around and take you back, I’m not going to put my nephew through anymore pain.’ Stiles slowly pulled his hands from his face and stared out into the distance, ‘no, I care about him. Care about him more than I ever realised. When he ended everything with me for Kate... I, it made me understand some things. About what Derek meant to me.’ He swallowed hard, still finding it so hard to talk about. He could see Peter nodding in his peripheral vision. ‘You need to talk to Derek about this, it's not my place to presume I know everything that goes on in my nephew's mind but I’m guessing from your reaction to what I’ve told you that he’s never told you how he feels about you?’ Stiles stared with wide eyes, ‘no, I thought, well I presumed it was nothing more than physical y’know? He never...’ as he started his sentence, he started to doubt his words. Maybe he had been a bit too quick to presume Derek’s intentions and dismiss it all, maybe he had got this wrong somewhere along the way. He whined and closed his eyes tight, ‘fuck’. ‘That’s one way to put it’ Peter responded wryly. They sat in silence again for a few minutes before he could see they were approaching the hospital up ahead. Peter screeched into a parking space and they both jumped out the car and jogged to the hospital. Stiles’ ears were ringing again and he could barely take in the meaning of the conversation he’d had with Peter, he just knew he needed to see Derek, needed to see him open his eyes, even if he then sent him away with a harsh word. He felt he couldn’t breathe until he knew he was ok, no matter what the hell else had been happening, he just needed him to be alright. Stiles was left alone in the waiting room whilst Peter went to find Derek and his parents. He slowly lowered himself to a seat and stared around, just trying to stay calm and wait for news, wait until he could go through those frightening doors. He’d spent far too long in hospitals watching his mother get sicker and sicker as a child and the cold clinical scent alone sent ripples of sadness and fear down his spine. He tried to keep a hold on his emotions, repeating to himself over and over that Derek would be ok... it would all be fine, it had to be.   ***** Chapter 10 ***** Chapter Notes Back again! Sorry the holiday season kinda delayed me being able to work on this and I've had to spend some time on this chapter, there's a lot I wanted to feed in. Oh and Happy New Year :-) See the end of the chapter for more notes It was another two hours before Stiles got to see Derek by which time he’d forced himself into a state of calm detachment to preserve his own sanity. His father had turned up at some point telling him something about the Were’s who had been arrested but he hadn’t really listened. A cup of coffee had been placed in his hand and it was only when it was pried from his fingers having gone stone cold that he even realised it was there. Derek’s parents came out from the ward, they smiled at Stiles and went to speak in quiet voices with his dad who was stood near the desk. Peter made his way over and sat heavily next to him clasping a hand to his shoulder, ‘He’s awake now. You can go see him now for a short time, second door on the left.’ Stiles gazed at him, ‘he’s ok... he’s...?’ ‘He’s going to be fine. He had to have a few stitches to help the healing process and they’ve got him on an IV to build his system back up again. Thank god he wasn’t wounded too badly.’ Stiles nodded before getting up on shaky legs. He pushed open the double doors and headed through to the ward, he followed Derek’s faint scent before edging around a curtain and seeing him laid out against white sheets. He eased himself down into the chair at the side of the bed and took a steadying breath. Derek looked different. He seemed so bare and vulnerable with his chest wrapped in startlingly white bandages, a needle strapped to his left hand, a clear liquid steadily dripping down the tube. The blood from his cheeks had been cleaned off mostly but there was still a copper tinge holding tight at his hairline, his hair looked limp and so dark all brushed back from his forehead. He looked small and so much more fragile than Stiles was ever used to and it made him cringe as his protective instant kicked in, he just wanted to take him away to safety where nothing could hurt him. Stiles felt he could barely breathe as he leaned forward and peered at his peaceful face, although Peter had said he was awake, Derek’s eyes had fallen closed and he looked lost to the world. He looked restful for the moment at least, thick eyelashes lying heavy on his pale cheeks, breathing even and easy indicating that he wasn’t suffering any pain. He felt the urge to touch, to convince himself that Derek was really in front of him, was really ok, the whole night had been a hellish nightmare, he needed some reassurance. He gently clasped at Derek’s right hand, fingers slightly cool to touch as he reached over to trace his other hand over his features. Just softly, he ran fingers over the thick eyebrows which were lying relaxed for once, before moving down over his strong, freckled nose. He fluttered along his hairline, down his jaw and across to his lips and as he was pulling away, he felt a puff of air blow over his fingers and Stiles watched mesmerized as Derek’s eyes slowly started to flicker before opening a crack. Stiles stopped breathing as Derek blinked blearily a few times, he pulled his hand back before uttering a quiet, ‘hey’. ‘Stiles...’ Derek whispered quietly, brow creasing as he stared at him with conflicted eyes. Stiles edged closer forward, ‘how are you feeling?’ Derek closed his eyes and groaned weakly, ‘like I’ve fallen twelve stories to the ground and have been trampled on a few times. In the snow.’ Stiles sniffed quietly, ‘you looked pretty bad when they found you.’ Derek smiled weakly, ‘yeah, probably wasn’t one of my best ideas, going up against four Alphas at once.’ ‘They’ve been arrested... I’m guessing your parents told you already.’ Derek shook his head, ‘it was my fault really, I shouldn’t have been there and I wasn’t in a clear enough state of mind to explain what I was doing. They had every right to protect their land.’ ‘Nah dude, they went too far, you’re only 16, talk about over-reacting.’ Derek rolled his head to the side to look at him, a faint smile tugging on his lips before he sighed and closed his eyes again. Stiles watched him carefully for another minute, just listening to the quiet in and out of Derek’s breaths steadily growing heavier. Stiles looked at him a moment longer before standing to go and let him sleep peacefully, finally feeling able to breathe again a little easier now that he knew Derek was ok. He was just turning to walk away when he felt finger tips brush his hand, he turned instantly to see Derek staring at him wide eyed and fearful, ‘Stiles would you mind staying a bit? Just a bit, if you don’t mind?’ Stiles felt his heart melt a little and it wasn’t even something he had to decide as he sat down again heavily, ‘of course, I’m here’ he breathed softly, pulling the chair in close to the bedside again. He hesitated for a moment before tentatively reaching out to grasp Derek’s hand gently in his, Derek looked at their joined hands and sighed before his eyes slipped closed, fingers flexing to hold on tighter. Stiles watched his face and saw the tension around his eyes start to melt away, heard as his breathing became deeper again as he allowed himself to be pulled back into sleep. He could hear familiar footsteps approach and looked up as his dad peered around the curtain to look at them both with a serious look in his eyes. On seeing Derek was sleeping, he quietly walked forward to place a hand on Stiles’ shoulder, sighing as he took in the scene before them. ‘You doing ok son?’ Stiles wiped at his face with his free hand, unaware that he’d even been crying, ‘yeah, I just needed to see him, to know he was ok’ he whispered. The Sheriff gripped his shoulder firmly, ‘you want to head off and come back in the morning or..?’ ‘Is it ok if I stay a little? He asked me to.’ His dad nodded and moved to pull away, ‘that should be ok if you’re sure but don’t make yourself exhausted son, you won’t be help to anyone in that state ok?’ ‘Honestly dad I’m fine, I wouldn’t be able to sleep back home anyway, I’ll just stay till the morning.’ ‘Ok, I’ll come by and pick you up again then but give me a call if you want to come back sooner. I’m going to head back to the cabin now and go pick all our stuff up so we can get settled back home.’ ‘Sure, thanks dad’ Stiles smiled, ‘I’ll see you... in a few hours’ he added, glancing at the clock showing that it was already the early hours of the morning. The Sheriff patted his arm one more time before glancing at Derek and swiping a paternal hand over his hair, ‘oh son’ he whispered quietly before turning to walk away. Stiles sniffed to himself and gripped Derek’s hand a little tighter whilst trying not to wake him. The relief that he was ok and having his warm body in front of him eased the panic that had been bubbling under his skin since they got that awful phone call hours ago. He hung his head and listened to the sounds of the ward, the beeps of machines and soft shoes walking around on the linoleum floors. He rested his forehead against the crinkly sheet covering Derek and just filled his lungs with the scent of the Alpha, with a last look to reassure himself that he was ok. He let his own eyes shut as the exhaustion of the night finally caught up with him. No one interrupted them the rest of the night until 7am came and a nurse had to check on Derek’s stats. The shifting as Derek sat himself higher up on his pillows woke Stiles who realised with a start that he’d been dribbling unattractively against the sheets and had the worst crick in his neck from the way he’d been crumpled forward. The nurse was checking all the charts and was making notes, but when she pulled out a needle to take some blood, Stiles stood abruptly. There was a lot he could deal with but if he could avoid being around needles and all that entailed, he would be outta there in a second. Derek still looked tired with his bruised eyes but he had a little more colour in his cheeks and looked a little less like a stiff wind could blow him down. The bandages across his chest had some darkened patches on that made Stiles wince that he’d been so slow to heal from the attack that night and had still been bleeding through his sleep. Derek turned to watch Stiles as he edged away from the bed, ‘I’m just gonna... umm, coffee?’ Derek blinked whilst offering his arm to the nurse before nodding and averting his eyes again. Stiles stumbled out the ward and went in search of sustenance, taking a quick bathroom break along the way to scrub some water over his face and through his hair, it was way too early to be awake and he needed all the help he could get. He grabbed some coffee from the fifth floor cafe and a few pastries, he wasn’t sure if Derek could even eat yet but he was starving, all the adrenaline he must’ve had pumping around his body last night left him feeling like he’d run a marathon and had gone a few rounds of boxing. The hospital was generally still quiet, nurses just carrying out early morning routines and he smiled at a few whose faces he remembered from when he hung out here so often when he was younger. Derek’s family had all gone home for the night, they’d probably be back for visiting hours he thought dimly, wondering why he had been allowed to stay. His sneakers squeaked lightly as he made his way back to Derek’s ward and as he rounded the curtain, saw that Derek was slumped with eyes closed again. He hesitated, arms holding full of all the goodies he’d bought and was about to turn around and maybe head off when he heard Derek’s quiet voice, ‘morning.’ His eyes fluttered open and a weak smile fluttered across his face as he tried to sit more upright. He winced as the movement must’ve pulled on the bandages strapped across his chest and Stiles rushed forward to dump all his goodies on the tray at the side of the bed before attempting to plump up the pillows like he saw people do in movies. He had no actual idea what he was doing but Derek didn’t seem to mind him jostling his bedding and after a minute he considered his handiwork done. ‘Thanks.’ ‘Welcome’ Stiles smiled before gesturing to the tray, ‘I brought breakfast, and most importantly, coffee.’ Derek smiled and looked before lolling his head back and closing his eyes, ‘smells good.’ When he made no move to get anything, the smile on Stiles’ face slipped, ‘you ok? You not hungry?’ Derek shook his head and raised his hand with the fresh wound from the removed IV showing but no new drip having being reattached, ‘not really but the coffee will be perfect, thank you.’ ‘Ahhh...’ Stiles nodded feeling kinda dumb. ‘You go ahead though’ Derek instructed. Stiles stared mournfully at the food a moment longer, eyes flicking to Derek before realising he was way too hungry to pretend he couldn’t eat and demolished two pastries before he even realised what he was doing. Derek had just closed his eyes again but as Stiles was wiping his hands on his jeans, he spoke quietly, ‘Why are you here?’ ‘Huh?’ Derek opened his pale eyes and looked over to Stiles as he was just gulping down his last mouthful. He paused before edging forward, ‘has this affected your memory, did you hit your head?’ he asked peering at Derek’s head looking for a wound, ‘you know you asked me to stay last night right?’ Derek huffed and tensed his brow looking like his familiar self, ‘yes I remember that, but you didn’t have to, I mean, I’m ok’ he mumbled quietly staring at his lap. Stiles stared at him for a second before narrowing his eyes and pointing at him, ‘oh no you don’t Mr I have no emotions, nothing affects me ever, I can see right through you y’know, didn’t even try to pretend like this is nothing... that you didn’t risk your life to apparently try and find me last night! I am not ignoring that ok and you, you are going to talk to me properly without all the frowning and denial.’ Derek frowned a little deeper, ‘look, Stiles-‘ ‘-Don’t you Look Stiles me ok! If you tell me to leave and pretend like this was nothing, then fine ok, I’ll go. But that will be it Derek. I’ll walk away and cut you out of my life forever because I can’t carry on with something that will crush me in the end ok, I can’t do that with all the crap that this entails. But what I would really like... the reason I came last night and have stayed here... is that I was hoping that maybe it was time for us to finally talk. I mean it doesn’t get much more extreme than this’ he gestured to Derek’s wounded form, ‘as a prompt for us to maybe try and talk about what we’ve been doing... what we are. I think what’s been going on between us has been a lot more complicated than either of us has wanted to acknowledge and I think we need to be honest with each other, just for once.’ he added hesitantly. Derek looked at him intently, eyes wide before slowly closing them. Stiles sighed heavily in frustration and rocked back in his chair, was Derek really so far in denial or did he really just not want this at all and was acutely embarrassed right now to even have Stiles sat with him? He could feel hot tears threatening to form and pulled up abruptly from his chair but just as he was about to spit an angry good bye, Derek asked quietly, ‘help me up?’ Stiles stared at him for a second, angry breaths rising in his chest as Derek slowly opened his eyes, ‘can we go a walk? Talk somewhere a little more private?’ Stiles scrubbed a hand over his eyes in something like shaky relief, ‘ok, ‘cmere’ he gestured to Derek, offering him his hand. Derek’s parents had left some clothes for him to change into and Stiles waited patiently as Derek slid on some jeans and a sweatshirt. He still looked pale and a little unsteady on his feet but wouldn’t take Stiles’ offer for help to walk and so they just wandered slowly out the ward, Stiles hanging close ready to steady him if needed. ‘There’s the cafe upstairs or there’s a little memorial garden just down to the right?’ Derek breathed heavily, lips tight in concentration as he tried to walk without acerbating his wounds, ‘outside sounds good, could do with the air.’ ‘Ok’. Stiles led them down the hallway and pushed the glass door open for Derek leading them to a little sheltered garden that he’d found all those years ago and had spent many a sorry afternoon watching the cherry trees flutter in the wind whilst trying to block out the cloying scent on the hospital and quell the sickness that rolled in his stomach at having to watch his mom get sicker and sicker each day until she didn’t even recognise him anymore. He tried to shake the memories from his thoughts and led Derek to a worn white painted bench where he lowered himself gingerly. Derek took in deep breaths, seemingly recovering from the exertion of walking, his eyes fluttered closed as the early morning breeze blew over him. It was a surprisingly quiet area, just tucked away from the sound of the road and not many people were up at this time of day so they had it all to themselves. The weak sunshine provided some rays of warmth and Stiles tucked his hands between his legs to keep them warm. Derek cleared his throat, ‘I’m sorry Stiles, I never meant for this to happen. I know you don’t really want to be here... to be with me.’ ‘I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to come, if I didn’t care about you.’ Derek smiled weakly, dark hair dancing as he stared out at the pale sky, ‘you left...’ he breathed so quietly that Stiles barely caught what he’d said. Stiles leaned forward resting his forearms on his knees, ‘I left because I was trying to do what was best, for both of us. We were getting lost in whatever the hell we had going on these past few weeks and it wasn’t real, none of it was real Derek.’ ‘It was real to me’ Derek replied quickly. Stiles jerked his head up in shock, ‘what?’ Derek cleared his throat again and still avoided looking Stiles in the eye as he struggled to form his words, ‘Stiles... I always feel my best around you, you’re good for me. Everything seems... easier somehow. It’s always been like that.’ ‘Derek, that’s just-‘ ‘-No, I know what you’re going to say Stiles’ he cut in, shooting a glance to him, ‘and it’s not just hormones or some bullshit. It’s not, I know now that it isn’t.’ Stiles frowned and picked at his nail, ‘so what are you saying?’ Derek sighed heavily, breath puffing out his cheeks, ‘what I’m trying to say... so badly’ he laughed with an edge of despair as he tipped his head back to look at some birds whirling high above them, ‘is Stiles I have come to realise that... I care about you. A lot. And I have for a while but... I just haven’t known what the hell to do with it.’ Stiles stared at him with a gaping mouth at Derek actually forming the words he never even allowed himself to imagine. Derek glanced at him as a pink tinge spread over his cheekbones and Stiles nearly slipped off his seat in shock, Derek was actually feeling shy about this, who the fuck knew. ‘That’s... that’s... wow. Ok. Well that’s good to know... so what exactly do you mean when you say care about me?’ Derek screwed his eyes up as if he was in pain and Stiles tried not to smirk at how bad Derek was at this whole thing. ‘I mean that the idea of you not being around, of me not being able to see you again is worse than anything I can think of.’ He turned in his seat and winced as he stretched something in his side but seemed determined to look Stiles in the eye finally. ‘Stiles, look I know you don’t feel the same as I do, I know you’re not looking for a mate or to be tied down or anything but if you can somehow forgive my stupid heart and all my unappealing awkwardness when it comes to... well this kind of thing’ he waved his hand around somehow perfectly conveying his lack of social skills, ‘could we be friends please? Or try to be that... I just, I really want you in my life in some way, like a good buddy, and I won’t get in your way, you can date and find another mate or whatever but please, I just don’t want to lose you forever.’ Stiles stared at Derek’s pale and slightly desperate face, he looked a little like he was losing it as he panted from all the words that had just tumbled out of his mouth and Stiles fought down the urge to guide him back inside and tuck him back into bed. ‘You want to be friends?’ he asked with numb shock. Derek nodded violently, ‘if it means I can still see you.’ ‘Well I don’t need another best friend, I have Scott for that.’ As Derek’s face started to crumple before his very eyes, Stiles quickly grabbed for his cold hands and gripped them between his, ‘Derek, hey wait, shh, listen to me. I can’t have you as a friend because I feel too much for you. I like you... a lot. I like being around you, I like touching you... seeing you and I hate the idea of anything ever hurting you. And that’s the reason I ran away, this whole thing we have between us scares me like nothing else and I had no idea how to handle it and so I did what I always do in those kinds of situations and I ran. I never believed we could be something... something that we both wanted.’ Derek’s lips were starting to tremble, ‘you’re scared?’ he whispered, ‘I’m fucking terrified.’ Stiles snuffed a laugh and rubbed at Derek’s hands to warm them. ‘Your Uncle drove me here last night’ Stiles mumbled into their joined hands, ‘and he told me about how all this began. Why did I never know about all that? About how young you were when you found me?’ Derek ducked his head and sighed, ‘oh god... I just... I never liked the whole thing’ he squinted. ‘The idea that a future can be decided by our biology or something, that there’s no free will involved. And at the time my sisters were horrendous, they used to chase me around the house teasing me about you and I hated it, I got so embarrassed and mad at them. I was too young to understand what the whole thing was about I guess. I just... I didn’t even know why I wanted to be around you, didn’t understand it and didn’t realise it was even you to start with. I was out with Peter one day and you walked past me and I just turned to follow you without thought, he had to grab my jacket to pull me back again.’ Stiles couldn’t help but let out a laugh at that image. Derek smiled ruefully at him, ‘it was just about your scent to start with... I liked that we could just do what we did and that would be it for a couple of weeks. It kept my moods steady and I could just carry on with life as normal, easy.’ Stiles hmm’d in agreement, it had pretty much been like that for him in those early days, it was totally uncomplicated and just easy. ‘I still got kinda nervous around you but I needed the contact and it got easier as I got used to being allowed close to you, to be able to touch you but maintain control of myself. I used to practice so much you know before we’d meet up so we could do well at Deaton’s. I’ve always wanted to be around you Stiles, I’ve just been totally shitty at understanding what the hell we were and how to be around you... I can hardly even explain it to you now.’ Stiles gazed at him, ‘I know we’re good together physically, that’s why we’ve gone on so long, that’s nothing new to me but I gotta say I never really got the impression from you that you wanted anything more, like ever. I mean do you really like me? If you weren’t allowed to touch me, would you really want to hang out with me?’ Derek was looking tired as he shook his head gently, ‘it started off that way, I thought it was all about how you smelt for the longest time, how your skin felt to touch but then I started to get to know you. When my heats began and we were meeting up more, I just started to get to know all your cute ways, your quirks and smart comments. I wanted to sit near your table at lunch so I could hear your laugh and I missed you when you had days off at school, I just felt things that couldn’t be explained away by hormones or whatever.’ Stiles frowned, ‘we never hung out at school, you never talked to me...’ Derek looked a little embarrassed cheeks flushing pink, ‘you talk a lot and I kinda always hear you, I seemed to always be tuned to your frequency somehow. And I liked... I like listening to you talk.’ Stiles threw his head back and tried to not laugh too loudly, ‘I never in a million years expected anyone to say that about me, least of all you. This is the longest conversation I’ve ever had with you.’ Derek’s mouth twisted in frustration, ‘it just got hard to change how we started off... we worked the way we were and I was scared to risk changing anything and I just never considered you not being around. I just took it all for granted back then that we would always be there for each other.’ Stiles stared at Derek with hardening eyes, ‘ok but hold up there buddy, I am not the one who ended it all, I seem to remember you being the one to head off into the sunset to go and get it on with the lovely Kate’ he replied with a twist of sarcasm, dropping Derek’s hands and turning away from those pale green eyes that seemed to be searching deep into him. Derek breathed quietly for a minute beside him. ‘I’m know and I’m so, so sorry I know I hurt you, fuck Stiles, I’m so sorry.’ Derek hung his head forward and clutched his hands to his scalp but Stiles just watched him, waited to hear what he had to say. ‘When I saw you at school and I was with her, the pain rolling off you shocked me... oh God, I don’t know how you’ll ever begin to forgive me Stiles but I never realised, I never knew... I thought you wouldn’t care when I ended it.’ Stiles sniffed harshly and looked away, ‘well don’t flatter yourself too much ok, it wasn’t just all about you, I was having a bad reaction to the meds as well.’ ‘Yeah but it was my fault you had to even start taking them... I just...’ Derek scrubbed his hands over his face in frustration before standing to hobble unsteadily up and down in front of where Stiles was sitting. Stiles crossed his arms and sat back, waiting. ‘Ok, I’ve always wanted a family of my own at some point, I... I’m so used to having a house full of brothers and sisters and I love it, it’s noisy and reassuring and grounding and full of love, it’s just... how a pack should be I guess. And I’ve always wanted that for my own, always. But I knew you...’ he nervously glanced to Stiles who was peering at him with a slight frown, Derek cleared his throat again, ‘...you don’t want any of that and so I knew I would have to find someone with the same kind of dream.’ Stiles held up a hand, ‘ok, wait up, since when do you know what I do and don’t want huh?’ Derek swallowed heavily, staring at the ground as he continued pacing, ‘You always say it, all the time. In health class you always argued with the teacher about how Omega’s don’t need to fulfill some subservient and needy role, that you could be strong and independent without an Alpha, that science had progressed to allow for that. I heard you tease Scott all the time about how gone he was on Allison and how they’d be married with kid before they hit twenty and you were pretty scornful. You couldn’t have made it clearer when you said that wasn’t for you, you weren’t even sure if you wanted kids at all and your education and career was more important to you. And that’s like totally fine, it’s awesome... but I knew that I couldn’t be happy not having family like I’d dreamed of and I had no right to try and persuade or something.. urgh I don’t know.’ Stiles stared as he started to feel slightly over-whelmed by the whole thing, mind whirring as he took in Derek’s words. ‘And so yeah, even though it was the hardest thing I had to get my head around, I knew I would have to look for someone else to be my mate and I thought that once that happened... once I found that person, I would be able to move on from you, that I wouldn’t be compelled by you anymore. Somehow.’ Stiles shook his head, ‘but we never talked Derek! You never asked me... we never really got to know each other outside of the physical stuff.’ He was starting to feel so confused, like his whole world was tilting on its axis and he wasn’t sure what to make of any of it. He had no idea of all the thoughts and decisions that Derek had gone through, had no idea that behind that quiet exterior, so much had been going on. Derek seemed to be tiring himself with the pacing and he sat down heavily next to Stiles again, ‘I know. But I feel like I know you better than pretty much anyone.’ Stiles stared at Derek, at his sharp jaw that was working with tension, at the stubble showing prominently as if Derek hadn’t shaved for days, at the lines etched in his brow as he studied his feet with intent. And yeah, he knew what Derek meant. They may not have sat down each day and discussed the weather, homework or some shit, but he knew Derek in ways much more complex and quiet than that. They’d always been able to read each other’s moods, had always moved together with the perfect knowledge of what the other was feeling or needed, he knew the person that this young man was so much more intimately than he could even begin to explain. But he also knew that wasn’t quite enough or they wouldn’t be in the mess they’d ended up in right now. Stiles reached over and placed a hand on Derek’s again, the touch helping somehow. ‘You shouldn’t have presumed. You should’ve talked to me about something so important.’ ‘But would you have wanted me Stiles? If I’d have asked you before Kate, would you even have considered me and you being something more?’ Stiles gazed back at him thinking back to how he really had not understood how special the thing with him and Derek had been at that point. ‘I don’t know Derek, I really don’t. But you should’ve given me a choice. And not in that crazy way you sprung it on me a couple of weeks ago, that was kinda ridiculous.’ Derek winced and looked away to gaze at the cracks of sunlight breaking over the winding pathway, ‘fuck I know. I’m just... I’m so bad at words and I had a million different ways I was going to approach that whole thing and it all went out the window. I’m with you and I get tongue-tied’ he admitted flashing him a quick, shy smile. Stiles rolled his eyes and looked away feeling his own cheeks start to warm, he’d never even contemplated that he could be the one to affect Derek in such an innocent way. Stiles leaned back, ‘but seriously, you thought that Kate was a good choice?! What the hell?’ Derek shook his head and groaned deep, ‘I know... she just said all the right things, she made me believe she was serious about me and wanted us to be together for the long haul and I never doubted her for some reason... I think I was so desperate to believe that I could find someone who gave me what you did and wanted to be with me in all ways that I dreamed of that I just ate up her words. But as hard as I tried, it didn’t feel right though y’know, it never felt right. You always make me feel good... she just made me feel anxious and uncertain. She... she was pretty nasty to me sometimes.’ Derek sniffed heavily, the cold air making his nose run, and folded his other hand around Stiles’, looking off into the distance. ‘We didn’t umm... she wouldn’t spend my heats with me. She said it scared her that I might lose control and she couldn’t risk that’ Derek laughed bitterly. She played me so bad, I can’t believe I let it go on so long.’ Stiles felt himself breathing heavily at Derek’s words. As much as he hated all that had happened, he could understand what Derek had been looking for and the way that he had fallen into such uncaring hands filled him with sorrow. As much hurt as he had been through, Derek had suffered in his own way. He wasn’t sure how many details he wanted right now but he couldn’t help some kind of sick curiosity, ‘so you never...?’ Derek glanced over, ‘no, we never slept together. She teased and played coy and generally drove me mad... she knew exactly what she was doing, how to lead someone on. By the time she cheated on me and broke up with me, I’d already known it was over weeks before, I just had no idea how to bite the bullet and end it and admit to myself the disaster the whole thing had been. It was a relief when she gave that little performance that day.’ The look of bitter resignation on Derek’s face made Stiles have to close his eyes, it turned out mating, love and relationships and all that crap was nothing like the movies, people got hurt, beat up and left with scars and he had no idea how to heal from any of it. ‘I’m sorry you had to go through that’ he relied quietly. Derek laughed with surprise, ‘hey you have nothing to apologise for, shit... I owe you a million apologies.’ ‘This one will do for now’ Stiles smiled gently. ‘I can understand why you ended us, I can. But...’ he sighed heavily, searching the sky as if for an answer, ‘...I don’t know Derek, why were you never nicer to me outside of play mating? We could’ve gotten to know each other properly, y’know like a normal couple maybe?’ Derek bit at his cheek and frowned slightly, ‘yeah I know. It just crept up on me somehow. How much I seemed to have grown to like you and it freaked me out, I had no idea how to handle that at all. I was protecting myself from getting hurt, from being rejected. And to be honest, you were never very keen to talk to me either, you always pushed me away and disappeared as soon as you could...’ Stiles flushed slightly and stared at their still joined hands and nodded, ‘yeah but I was stupid and blind to what we had... it took you leaving to make me realise.’ ‘And what did you realise?’ Derek asked haltingly. Stiles stared into those wide, clear eyes and felt like this was a pivotal moment for them, they were finally, finally cutting through the bullshit. This had the potential to be something and his heart leapt into his throat, ‘I realised that I had lost one of the most important things I’d ever had and that I was probably never going to find someone who makes me feel like you do. It made me realise... how much I’d grown to like you, want you, need you...’ he sniffed heavily feeling so incredibly vulnerable. Derek’s brow crumpled at the words and he leaned in closer to Stiles ‘really?’ Stiles held Derek’s hand tighter, ‘yes really, you doofus’ he smiled as he knocked their foreheads gently together. ‘Wow, I really don’t get how we managed to mess this up so badly y’know... I mean why didn’t you say? After Kate, we could’ve... you said you just wanted something casual, just until we found our mates... why?’ Derek pursed his lips together, ‘yeah, I meant to talk to you that day’ he muttered quietly avoiding eye contact again. ‘I spoke to your dad that morning... he’d guessed how I felt about you and knew about me finding you so young and he thought we should give it a shot at being together for real. I had this whole speech thing I was going to say to you about how I felt and how we could work together, or try to at least... but then you came in the door and looked like you wanted to spit fire at me’ he laughed dryly without any humour. Stiles winced as he remembered the anger he felt towards Derek on that day, believing he was just there to service his own selfish needs and stave off his guilt. ‘So I umm, I lost my nerve and said the first thing that came into my head. I just... I guess maybe I thought it would be enough. And would be all I could ever hope to get you to agree to and maybe at the very back of my mind I hoped that maybe, just maybe it would turn into something more... somehow. That you would grow to like me back.’ Stiles gazed at him and Derek glanced back looking slightly guilty, ‘wow.’ Derek smiled weakly, sadness veiling his eyes, ‘I thought things were different with us then, we seemed closer than ever before somehow and I thought that maybe you were starting to see me as something more and I got lost in the idea of us... and then when I sacred you off and I couldn’t find you anywhere I panicked, I felt like I was slowly losing my mind.’ Stiles reached out to cup Derek’s jaw and bring his face round to look in his eyes, he could feel him trembling under his touch, skin so delicate and cool beneath his fingers, ‘I couldn’t stand the idea of you being hurt, of you not being around anymore, I was freaking out so badly when we were trying to find you last night’ he breathed heavily, trying to keep his voice under control. ‘And hey, you should’ve talked to me, you know why? All those conversations you over-heard of me being condescending and shitty to Scott was just me being scared and trying to make myself feel better when I can see my best buddy already has his life tied up in a big happy bow whilst I’m feeling totally scared that the thing I want most is so far out of reach and I’ll probably spend the rest of my life alone because I won’t find anyone like... well... like you. And maybe we could've figured out that we potentially have way more going for us than just amazing sex. Right?’ Derek exhaled heavily, eyes swimming, brow furrowed in a look of anguish, he snuffled wetly and tried to pull away looking over-whelmed like he hadn’t believed his words but Stiles held him firm, stoking his thumb over Derek’s jaw until he met his eyes again. ‘Oh c’mere’ he croaked before almost collapsing into Derek to press his brow against his shoulder and breathe in raggedly. Derek’s hands came to clutch at his shirt and Stiles held him close around his shoulders as they buried their faces and breathed in deep. Derek was subtly moving his jaw against Stiles’ cheek, the stubble there scratching at him, Stiles smiled and very unsubtly moved to swipe his cheek against Derek’s bared neck in a clear display of scenting. Derek made a wet, broken noise and began rubbing against Stiles as he’d been clearly holding back on doing, they clutched and leant into one another and Stiles felt like he was a young kid again just being allowed to touch his Alpha for the first time. They sat soothing each other and basking in one another’s scents until Stiles became aware of the fine tremors working their way through Derek’s body and he realised that they’d been sat out there for some time, the sun already climbing steadily up the garden. He pulled back and held Derek firmly, ‘c’mon big guy, let’s get you back inside before your mom kicks my ass for making you sick again being out in the cold.’ Derek’s eyes fluttered open ad he looked dazed and content from the endorphins flooding his body from the act of scenting. Stiles rolled his eyes and grinned pulling him up and hooking his arm around his waist to guide him inside again and he clutched firmly onto Stiles’ shoulder. Tucking him back in bed again, Derek looked sleepy once more as his body worked to pull him down into unconsciousness so it could concentrate on the healing process. His cheeks showed a little colour which was reassuring and Stiles smiled as he stroked at his forehead gently, ‘you rest now, I’ll see you again later ok?’ Derek’s eyes were struggling to stay open, ‘ok. Stiles I...’ he began before sighing heavily and pressing a light kiss to Stiles’ bared wrist as his head slumped to the side, finally losing the battle to exhaustion again.   Chapter End Notes This was all talking mostly I'm afraid but I think it was needed?! They're finally getting there though... ***** Chapter 11 ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes Stiles sat slumped in the hospital waiting room trying to stay awake until his dad could swing by and get him. He felt emotionally wrecked and his body ached all over, all he wanted was a warm bed to collapse in to. The conversation he’d had with Derek kept fluttering back through his mind in tiny shards, jerking him awake with a pounding heart whenever he started to drift off. They’d finally, so finally opened up to each other but he still wasn’t sure what the hell was going to happen, and he had no idea what the next step was going to be. He didn’t allow himself to let his thoughts catch on too deep, he knew he was too fragile to start getting into that right now. A familiar set of steps approached him as he stared blankly at the ceiling and he glanced over to see Dr Deaton heading down the hallway towards him. He raised a brow and Deaton paused for a second before stopping, ‘Stiles? Everything ok?’ ‘Hey Doc, yeah, yeah, just been with Derek.’ ‘Ahh I see. And how are things going can I ask?’ Stiles sniffed and blinked at the Doctor a couple of times aware that he wasn’t asking after Derek’s health, he would be able to find that out for himself. ‘Um ok. He nearly got himself killed but I think he’ll be out soon... and well, it’s finally got us talking which is one good thing to come out of it I guess.’ Deaton nodded and smiled as he perched on the plastic chair next to him, ‘he’ll be fine, he’s young and strong and will be back to full health very soon. And I have to say I’m pleased that you two are working on things. You were always one of my favourite pairings to coach, I’ve rarely seen a better match in all my time of working with play mates.’ Stiles scrunched his nose up, ‘but when you say that Doc, that makes me want to run away screaming. I hate the idea that this has all been pre-determined from before we could even make a choice... it’s hardly romantic right? I mean how do I know if the only reason we want each other is because of... I don’t know, scents, hormones?’ Deaton gave a faint smile, ‘yes you are amazingly compatible biologically, when I ran the tests on you both when you were young your match was extremely high which would account for why you immediately took to each other and could be so comfortable around each other with really very little guidance from me. But after those initial meetings, it was all down to you two working together, figuring things out, getting to know each other.’ Stiles smirked, ‘we didn’t really get to know each other, I wouldn’t put it like that.’ ‘I think you would be surprised Stiles. I watched over you both carefully. You always treated each other with respect, you listened to each other’s bodies and adapted to each other’s needs. That way you worked out your boundaries and stayed together for so many years... it’s quite an accomplishment Stiles and is not something that happens so easily for partners usually.’ Deaton rose to head off again, ‘and really, what is love Stiles? Even between our human counterparts, the neurons firing in the brain, the hormones coursing around the body, that may all start the attraction but it won’t continue and survive unless there’s something more there feeding it and nurturing the connection. Remember the Alpha you couldn’t stand near you when you came to the open play mating session? On paper you should’ve been perfect for each other but there has to be something more, an actual bond beyond that when you’re together. Don’t deny yourself what you could have with Derek because you’re scared of the intensity of your attraction. You have the choice to make this work or not, you’re not tied to him if you don’t want to be but please don’t believe that there’s not more to this than you may be willing to see or admit to.’ Stiles gazed at Deaton, mouth slack, he’d never thought of it that way. Deaton turned to go, ‘oh and Stiles, whatever you decide, you need to come and see me so we can get you prepared for your heats ok?’ Stiles nodded, shit, he’d been trying to postpone thinking about all that. When his dad swung by later, he’d had to jerk Stiles out of a slumber he’d finally succumbed to and he happily allowed himself to be guided out to the car and be taken home. That afternoon, Derek’s mom called and spoke with his dad. Stiles was still out of it and so the message was just passed on to him when he finally rose feeling disorientated late in the day. He shuffled into the kitchen with a blanket wrapped around him and took in the delicious smell of his dad cooking stir fry. He sat at the counter and yawned wide cracking his jaw. His dad turned to smile, ‘feeling better now?’ ‘Yeah... groggy but that was a good sleep. Need a shower now though I think’ he winced as he caught a whiff of his stale odour. ‘Have some food first, it’ll be ready in two minutes.’ ‘K’ Stiles scrubbed a hand over his face before going to grab them both glasses of water and some cutlery. His dad started portioning out the food and handed Stiles his plate, ‘Talia called before.’ Stiles set his plate down heavily, heart already beating fast, ‘shit, why? Is Derek...?’ ‘Woah!’ his dad calmed with a smile, ‘he’s fine, relax son. She just called to say he was discharged this afternoon and they’re taking him home to recuperate. He’s pretty much recovered but they don’t want him pushing himself just yet and opening up any wounds again.’ Stiles nodded holding his breath, ‘ok good, that’s good.’ He sat down again and stared at his food unsure of what to say. ‘She also said you’re welcome over there for dinner one night if you want?’ Stiles pulled his head up to look at his dad, ‘dinner, with... with all of them?’ The Sheriff nodded, ‘yeah. You don’t want to? I thought you got on well?’ Stiles nodded frantically, ‘no, y’know I... I mean they’re so nice but are they not pissed at me some? It was kinda my fault that Derek ended up in the hospital...’ His dad put his fork down and reached over to clasp Stiles’ hand, ‘there’s no blame here ok? Yes they were upset that Derek got hurt but I think they were more frustrated that Derek wouldn’t open up to them and let them help before it all escalated.’ Stiles smiled wryly, ‘hmm that doesn’t sound like him at all.’ ‘Less of the sarcasm son, you can be as bad as he is.’ Stiles sighed heavily, ‘yeah well it’s been kinda hard working out what the hell has been going on between us. We finally talked at the hospital and we figured out that there is something between us but oh god, I have no idea what we’re doing now! It all used to be so easy when we were play mates, we had these lines that we followed and it was straight forward, there was no second guessing what anything meant... now I have no idea how to be around him and it scares the hell outta me.’ His dad huffed a laugh, ‘relationships are scary, that’s what makes them so worth the ride. You’ll never feel more alive than when you’re with someone who can make you feel like you’ve lost all sense of gravity, someone who holds your heart in their hand and you look in their eyes and they fill your world. It is over-whelming but Stiles, if you’ve found that, hold on tight and don’t let it go, you’re luckier than you could know.’ Stiles smiled softly, ‘is that how you were with mom?’ His dad smiled and his eyes misted up, ‘yeah and I would never change a second of it, through the bad and the good.’ They both blinked heavily at each other for a moment before clearing their throats and returning to their plates trying to carry on eating like they weren’t both falling apart slightly. ‘Ok, I’ll go for dinner. Are you coming too?’ ‘I can do if you want me to?’ ‘Yeah... I feel like we need to do this right. Or try at least.’ ‘Ok, I’ll call Talia later and let her know.’ They finished their meal making small talk, Stiles feeling warm and content in their cosy little kitchen, Christmas lights twinkling through from the tree in the front room casting a golden glow over them.   It was Christmas Eve and Stiles was stood sweating in front of the mirror, pulling at his shirt and feeling totally freaked out. His dad passed the doorway humming to himself and he pulled back to look in at Stiles. ‘Relax son, your heart sounds like it’s going to explode!’ Stiles groaned, ‘I know... I know this shouldn’t be a big deal but I feel like I need to prove myself or something. Like this is a test and if I fail... oh god.’ His dad came to grip his shoulders tight and look him in the eye, ‘Stiles, this is not some test ok? You’ve known the Hale’s for years, they are a nice family and they like you or you wouldn’t have been made so welcome all these years. No one is judging you, we’re just going for a nice meal so take all those expectations you’re laying on yourself off your shoulders and relax ok? I’ll be there right beside you.’ Stiles took in a deep shuddering breath and licked his dry lips, his dad was right of course, why he’d built this up into something crazy he didn’t know. He’d already texted Derek about this the day before and he’d replied saying he was looking forward to it so why did he feel so nervous like he’d never been around the guy before? Well no, he knew. He was nervous because this wasn’t playing. This wasn’t pretending to help each other along anymore. This was for real, finally they were doing this like it mattered and wow, the butterflies were making him feel like he wanted to vomit. But along with the blinding terror, he couldn’t deny he was excited. He couldn’t deny how badly he wanted to see Derek again, to maybe get a quiet moment to be alone with him, just to be sure he was ok... that’s all. He swallowed hard, ‘ok, lets do this’ he gritted out with determination. His dad laughed with exasperation, ‘you make it sound like you’re going to your execution.’ They headed out to the car with presents of bottles of Christmas punch that his dad had made and an apple pie that was a little less homemade but looked awesome as Stiles tried not to drool on it too much. It was weird heading back down the Hale track in the woods, he was not used to his dad being by his side and he wiped sweaty hands on his smart black pants, feet tapping a rhythm as he tried to work out his jitters. Approaching the house Stiles was impressed, the Hale’s always made an effort to decorate beautifully for Christmas and this year was no expectation. Tiny pale, blue crystal lights had been draped artfully over the house and they sparkled and glistened in the frosty night air, Stiles smiled with wonder as he let himself be drawn into the fairytale atmosphere it created. He was smiling as the car pulled up and as they grabbed the gifts, a gold light washed over them from the house and he could see Derek’s parents waiting to greet them. The ground was crunchy beneath their feet, clouds of mist hanging heavy as they breathed into the freezing air and they hurried over to the warm house. They were pulled in for handshakes and warm hugs, Talia kissing Stiles on the cheek softly before pulling back and smiling warmly at him. He never expected such a welcome and had to bite hard to stop from getting emotional, ‘we uh, brought you some things’ he gestured to try and distract from the moment that was getting too heavy for his liking. ‘Oh thank you both so much, that wasn’t necessary! Go through to the kitchen, we can put them in there for now.’ His dad was being guided to the front room, already in deep discussion with Derek’s father who had his arm around his shoulders. Stiles followed Talia, mouth gaping at how lovely the house looked, the fairy lights were strung everywhere indoors as well and the scent of pine, orange and cinnamon was heavenly. He could hear voices all around, happy children’s squeals telling him that all the family must be home. He swallowed his nerves down and focussed on delivering the pie safely. Entering the kitchen he put everything down and turned instinctively to the movement he caught out the corner of his eye to see Derek crouched on the floor with two little girls he wasn’t familiar with, they were huddled over some papers, scribbling hard with crayons and glitter scattered everywhere. Derek was concentrating hard, head bowed exposing the tendons of his neck as he very intently coloured a door in cherry red and Stiles had to bite his lip from laughing, he had not been expecting this sight. He stood there for a moment longer until he saw the second Derek became aware of his scent threading through the room, his spine stiffened and his hand froze from where he was colouring. Stiles couldn’t help but snigger as Derek slowly turned his head to look around before settling on him. His eyes were huge and he stood up so fast he staggered back and nearly stood on the drawings causing the girls to shriek and yell at him to be careful. Derek grabbed hold of the sideboard and tried to compose himself for a second, Stiles could see his jaw working, that familiar tell that he was trying to say something but the words were struggling to be released. Finally he uttered a quiet, ‘Stiles... hi’ before blushing heavily and looking away. Stiles grinned easily, all his nerves were peeling away one by one at finally just being here. The scents around him were so familiar, of the Hale’s and the sounds of the busy house. And seeing Derek just calmed something that had been churning in his gut ever since he’d seen him at the hospital a few days ago. Derek looked better. His skin was glowing healthily from that awful pale pallor he’d had before, his dark hair was styled perfectly and shined under the lights and he looked strong and good and all the things Stiles knew of him so well. He breathed in subtly to catch his scent and his eyes shut for a second as he felt himself become grounded by the sweetness there. Derek was starting at him with his head quirked and as he saw Stiles breathe in deep, he cocked his head showing how fast and hard his pulse was beating beneath the thin skin of his neck and a smile pulled at the edge of his mouth before he too took a noticeable scenting breath. They smiled at each other across the kitchen like idiots, forgetting that they even had anyone else around them, an invisible line of attraction holding them in focus. Peter stalked into the kitchen and took one look at them before groaning, ‘oh god you two are sickening. Derek, get him a drink at least, c’mon, show some form.’ Stiles suddenly became aware of his surroundings again, of Talia busy peeling potatoes at the sink and the two girls back intently to scribbling away. He gazed back to Derek who was frowning at Peter who just chuckled to himself as he walked away with a scotch bottle in hand. ‘Err sorry, what would you like? We’ve got soda or there’s some fruit punch stuff my mom made?’ Derek was pulling at the hem his pale grey sweater, his lips were dry and his voice was thin like he was so nervous at even speaking to Stiles, but he couldn’t really judge, he felt his legs wobble slightly at just being under Derek’s gaze. He was still pretty freaked out at the whole situation but tried to hold it together. ‘The punch sounds good, thanks.’ Derek nodded before turning to grab a cup and clumsily slosh some punch into it which he then pushed over to Stiles on the counter before standing back again staring at the floor. Stiles grinned in amusement at Derek’s less than graceful movements, ‘thanks.’ Talia glanced over at them, ‘Derek, go and introduce Stiles to everyone, dinner won’t be long now.’ Derek glanced over, thick eyebrows furrowed before starting to move to the door where he looked back at Stiles and jerked his head. Stiles sighed deeply, were they really back to the wordless communication again? He could feel his stomach sinking, maybe this was going to be even harder than he thought. Heading down the hallway to where all the noise was coming from, Derek faltered for a second and Stiles nearly ran into him. He could see the tension in Derek’s shoulders and he reached out his spare hand to lightly run his fingers over Derek’s arm, ‘hey, you ok there?’ he asked quietly. Derek half turned and quirked his lips, ‘yeah, sorry... this whole thing is just a little... over-whelming.’ Stiles nodded in agreement, ‘yeah, just a bit. C’mon though, lets go sit in there at least. We’ll be fine.’ Derek pulled himself up again, took a deep breath and disappeared into the room, Stiles watched him go and made himself follow. All eyes turned to the boys stood at the doorway, the room was packed, adults all sat over the various chairs and couches, drinks in hand, while the younger members of the family were sprawled out over the floor, the youngest trying to discretely prod some of the neatly decorated presents under the tree. Derek looked frozen to the spot, eyes wide, his throat making a weird ticking noise. Stiles slid up close next to him and gave an awkward wave around the room, ‘hey, Merry Christmas everyone.’ They all started talking again at once and he was pulled over to some aunt and uncle he vaguely remembered being introduced to in the past sometime, clearly a few drinks merrier they seemed delighted to pull Stiles between them and began regaling him with random stories about people he had no idea about. After nodding politely and laughing in all the right places, he just went with the flow as he got pulled from group to group, he’d never felt so popular. He completely lost track of where Derek was and just got caught up in the whirlwind of cheerfulness that exuded from everyone in the room. It was pretty awesome he had to admit, he was used to a quiet house, pretty much just him and his dad most years which was fine, it was great... but it wasn’t this. By the time they were called to the dinner table, Stiles had a glittering paper hat perched on his head that one of the younger cousins insisted he wore and his cheeks were flushing warm after Peter slipped him eggnog that was distinctly not for kids. He found his place name and sat with a grin on his face just watching the whole family chattering excitedly around him. His dad sat opposite him and quirked an eyebrow at him before they both smiled happily. He finally caught sight of Derek’s grey sweater and watched him weave his way over before dropping with a sigh next to Stiles. Those green eyes flicked over to him, ‘you ok?’ Stiles smiled and ducked his head closer to him, ‘yeah, this is amazing man, your family are so cool.’ Derek grinned wide at that, ‘yeah they are’ he nodded, fiddling with the napkin on the table. Stiles swayed in closer feeling giddy with excitement, he sighed a little and closed his eyes for a second, ‘you smell good’ he added quietly, or he thought he was being subtle until his dad cleared his throat loudly from across the table and glared at him. Stiles swayed back upright feeling chastised and Derek hung his head, his cheeks flushing brightly. This is so weird he thought to himself for the hundredth time that evening. He wasn’t really used to being in company when he was with Derek, they were always so free to behave like they wanted and it was the strangest thing to have him sat so close to him but they had to be like, all civilised and shit and pretend that there wasn’t some burning coil drawing them to each other. Well fuck, he swallowed heavily. This is where it all begins. The food was amazing, Stiles piled his plate high and the merry chatter continued throughout, Stiles let it all wash over him and beamed anytime he was asked a question. The kids were shrieking with happiness and the air of excitement and contentment was contagious. Throughout the meal though, he was aware, oh so aware of Derek’s heat all along his right side. Every movement he made, every brush of fabric as he moved, each muscle contracting as he ate and either came closer to Stiles or moved away, he felt like he was microscopically conscious of at all. It was like nothing else. But then he realised, he’d never been around Derek where they hadn’t actually been there to just touch each other, they’d never had prolonged periods of being around each other without the intent of pouncing on each other as the end result. The thought made him pause for a second, hand stilling as he scooped steaming pudding onto his spoon. The noise of the room faded away as he felt Derek’s gaze turn to him as if in question. Stiles tilted his head and Derek moved closer, ‘alright?’ he whispered. Stiles gave a small nod before licking his lips and glancing across to Derek’s arm, he wasn’t sure if he was just projecting to a ridiculous extent exactly what he was thinking but Derek took a sharp intake of breath before shifting in his seat causing his legs to splay open wider so that their knees were pressing against each other under the table. Stiles exhaled heavily, and blinked slowly, just that touch, such a simple contact made him feel like he could breathe a little easier again. They shared private smiles and carried on eating again, he had no idea of what was going on around him anymore, all he was aware of was the warmth pressing against him and how that grounded him so completely. After the meal, they got separated again, Derek helping tidy up in the kitchen while Stiles was whirled away by the two little girls Derek had been with earlier and they fought over whose side Stiles would be on in their make believe battle. Stiles ended up some time later splayed in the corner of the hallway as the girls scampered around him, arguing over the rules of the game and trampling over Stiles’ way too full belly. He groaned quietly and rubbed at his eyes, the rest of the family had disappeared off to either watch movies or sit and chat over more drinks. He was glad to not be such a focus of attention anymore but he was fighting consciousness and didn’t feel he had much more energy to stay awake. He heard footsteps approach and peeked out to see Derek’s socked feet just by his head, ‘everything all right down there?’ Stiles moaned again before trying to roll onto his stomach and clamber to his knees but the girls were pulling at him, ‘no Stiles, you have to be the evil giant, you can’t move yet.’ Derek dropped down and pulled the small hands away that were gripping onto him, ‘hey now girls, Stiles is our guest ok, you can’t keep him tied to the floor all night, go get Jonnie to be your evil giant and Stiles might be back later if you’re really good.’ The little girl, Jessie, Stiles thought her name was stuck her bottom lip out in a pout, arms crossed, ‘but Jonnie’s not big enough and he won’t lie still’ she whined. Derek sighed, ‘ok, how about you go and tell Aunt Talia that I said you could have some of the special Christmas cookies I baked that I was going to save for tomorrow?’ The girls jumped back and gasped in glee before dashing off yelling for Talia in a flurry of glitter and sticky fingers. Stiles almost fell back on his ass again from laughing so hard, ‘oh man, bribery, I like it, their parents will be piiiiised at you!’ he cackled. Derek sighed with a lop-sided grin, ‘it’s the only way sometimes.’ They stumbled to their feet, Derek holding Stiles’ elbow and they smiled gently at each other. ‘How are you feeling now, are you all healed up? I’m sorry, I totally forgot to ask.’ Derek nodded, ‘oh yeah, I’m all good. Mom wouldn’t let me move for like two days but I’m all better, no scars or anything.’ Stiles let his gaze fall over Derek’s body, ‘that’s... good, yeah good.’ Derek stared at him a moment longer, ‘you want some air?’ Stiles nodded and bit at his lip as Derek led them out through the now deserted dark kitchen to the back door and onto the deck over-looking their huge garden which was faintly illuminated by all the fairy lights. There were heated laps set up which the boys both gravitated to. Once the door clicked shut behind them, the quiet of the outdoors hit and Stiles felt all his senses sharpen in the cool night air, he breathed in deep and felt the smoky, frosty air burn his lungs. They stood quietly for a minute or two before Derek turned to him, ‘can I...?’ Stiles watched as Derek brought a hand up and stepped a little closed so he could touch Stiles’ shoulder. Stiles nodded even though he wasn’t quite sure what he was agreeing to but Derek just brushed his hand over Stiles’ arm and down to his hand where he lightly held his fingers between his. It was just nice, soothing contact that paradoxically made his heart beat quicker but calmed him down at the same time. They both stood with their head bowed just looking down at that connection. Stiles slid his fingers over Derek’s and started to play with his hand, joining them before sliding away and over, just to feel his skin, the way his tendons moved and bones jutted. It was simple and so easy. He hadn’t realised how close their heads had become until he felt warm breath on his cheek and he jerked back in surprise and Derek looked back in shock. He didn’t know why he was getting squeamish now at being close to Derek, he just felt so uncertain of their footing still and the physical attraction was always there but they had more important things they needed to be figuring out that couldn’t be ignored. Stiles clasped Derek’s hand and pulled him to sit on the porch step with him and they sat pressed arm against arm staring out into the night. ‘So.’ ‘So...’ Stiles laughed hoarsely, ‘So what do you want to do Derek?’ ‘That’s a very open question Stiles...’ he drawled with humour. Stiles grinned and looked away, ‘Derek, we need to be serious. I mean, what do we do now?’ Derek was quiet for a moment, as always, he thought carefully before he spoke. ‘Well I told you I care about you and I understand that you maybe feel the same way about me... so I’m pretty serious at wanting to see where this could go... if you do?’ Stiles nodded and looked at his hands glowing pale in the lights, ‘yeah that sounds like something I would be in to.’ Derek laughed ‘well that’s good to know.’ Stiles grinned, ‘I want us to get to know each other though, like properly, not just...’ he waved at their bodies. Derek tracked the movement of his hand and nodded in understanding, ‘yeah, me too. Can I... can I ask you out on a date sometime maybe?’ Stiles ducked his head and grinned, ‘umm yeah, maybe.’ Derek rocked into his shoulder to bump against him and he could almost hear the eye roll, ‘you’re a dick.’ ‘Wow, way to woo a guy Derek, I mean I could change my mind here y’know’, he made to stand up and leave but Derek shot an arm out to block his way. ‘I’m beginning to regret this’ he mumbled to himself and Stiles cackled before bumping his shoulder back even harder, ‘nah you’re not, you liiiike me, c’mon, you can admit it.’ Derek was trying hard not to smile but was failing quite badly, ‘ok, maybe I do a little bit.’ Stiles leaned in and his smile softened, ‘good, cos I like you a little bit too.’ They stared at each other, eyelashes flickering as their looks roamed over each other’s faces taking in the shadows that cut across their features as slowly Derek bent forward and brushed their noses together gently. Stiles smiled hopelessly at how cute the gesture was and nudged him back before running his nose across Derek’s jaw and down just behind his ear where the soft hair there tingled against his lips. He pressed the lightest touch of a kiss to the skin before nuzzling in the Alpha scent, blissful waves of satisfaction rolling over him. Derek started rumbling deep in his chest and Stiles felt himself responding without thought as they pressed against each other, just innocent swipes of contact, scents mixing so they could barely distinguish one from the other. Stiles’ skin was starting to feel a little raw from where Derek’s light stubble was rubbing on his neck and he pulled away. Derek grabbed his hand and they sat joined, lost in each other still. ‘So I haven’t scared you away then?’ Derek asked, voice deep and husky which sent shivers through Stiles’ spine. ‘Scared me away?’ Derek ducked his head, ‘yeah, y’know with talk of family and everything.’ Stiles smiled and shook his head, ‘nah man, I can understand why you want something like this of your own one day. I mean, I was never crazy on the idea as you know but we’re still young right? There's no rush and I am serious that I want to go to college, I want to study and work but I don’t see why that should be exclusive and why having a family would be an impossibility to work alongside that someday’ he whispered. Derek nodded, a smile playing on his lips, ‘so one day...?’ ‘Yeah, one day, we could definitely look to working on that plan of yours. If we get that far’ he added as an afterthought. It was still entirely possible that they might end up hating each other’s guts after a few dates, he didn’t want to presume anything right now. Derek sniffed and nodded again, ‘ok, good, that’s good.’ He turned back to Stiles again and searched his eyes all over his face, Stiles could feel himself get lost in that gaze once more and this time it settled with intent on his lips. Stiles could feel his breathing grow heavy and he pulled his hand free to trace a thumb over Derek’s jaw as the pull between them finally had them slotting their lips together. Their noses were cold as they nestled against each other’s cheeks but Derek’s mouth was so warm as his lips moved softly, tongue swiping it’s heat into Stiles mouth where the innocent touch started to turn a little dirtier. Derek pulled back slightly, ‘god I’ve missed this’ he mumbled before drawing Stiles back in and he hummed in agreement as they tugged and pushed against each other. Stiles couldn’t resist running his hand over Derek’s arms and over his shoulders, he’d been dying to be able to touch him again and this moment felt so perfect with the warmth and lightness of the evening they’d had and the feeling of hope starting to bloom in his stomach. Derek’s sweater was so soft under his touch and he held on tight as Derek cupped his jaw and tilted him to the angles he wanted, pushing in deep so they were gasping against each other but still unwilling to part for something as boring as being able to breathe. It took the creaking of the porch door from behind them sometime later and a deliberate cough before they pulled away from each other in shock, they’d completely lost all sense of time and place and Stiles just gaped as his Dad stood there with hands on his hips. ‘Sorry to break this up boys but Stiles, we need to be getting back, it’s nearly 11pm.’ ‘Oh right yeah sure’ he agreed while lurching to his feet, he felt dizzy from the intimacy he’d been wrapped up in with Derek and he knew that his face was glowing pink from the way his body responded just being close to him. Derek followed him back through the house as they waved goodbye to the last few who were still up enjoying their final drinks of the evening. Talia pulled Stiles into a huge hug, her hand warming against his back as she whispered to him, ‘thank you for coming Stiles, you look so happy together.’ Stiles blushed and spluttered but Talia just laughed and patted his cheek before moving on to hug his dad good bye. Derek hung back in the shadows just watching like he didn’t know his place amongst everyone. When his dad had the door open and they were ready to go, Stiles looked back and with a sigh realised Derek wasn’t moving and so he rushed forward into his space, hand pressing to his chest he leaned in to quickly brush his lips against Derek’s who twitched in response. ‘See you soon for that date’ he whispered and he felt Derek nod slightly, he guessed that would have to do as his dad yelled at him from the front yard and he dashed out to follow. As they pulled out, he watched as Derek’s dark figure stared out from the doorway, just watching, so still and unreadable.   Chapter End Notes I have the ending all mapped out now and I'm excited to work on it as soon as I can, maybe I should just skive work so I can finish it... tempting! Thank you for the continued lovely comments and kudos... you're all awesome. ***** Chapter 12 ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes They didn’t see anything of each other for the next few days, Derek was busy with all his family and was then was away visiting more relatives who lived further away. Stiles was content having the usual quiet Christmas celebration with his dad, they cooked a turkey crown and made all the dressings, some working out better than others when Stiles got distracted and burnt the bread sauce. Scott came around in the evening when his mom was on shift at the hospital and they played rowdy card games whilst munching on left-over’s even though they were full to the point of feeling sick. It was comfort and home and all the things Stiles ever wanted at this that of the year. But thoughts of Derek kept flitting through his mind, especially late at night when he could hear his dad gently snoring as the house gently creaked and groaned as it settled for the night. He kept seeing the look in Derek’s eye as they’d watched each other on Christmas Eve and his skin felt imprinted from the gentle touches his fingers had swept over his skin. It was like a physical ache wanting to feel that again, to have Derek back, but he knew they needed to do this right, pull back a little. That understanding still didn’t make it ok though when Derek told him he’d been through his heat. Without him. He was getting changed for bed, haphazardly clearing all the junk off his blankets that had accumulated during the day when his phone lit up, they’d been casually texting back and forth throughout the week but Derek had been quiet for the past day or so. He knew rationally not make anything of it but his mind still wondered trying to think of what Derek might’ve been doing. This was not an explanation he had even considered though, not even close. He grabbed his phone when he saw Derek’s name on the screen, a wide grin already stretching his face. D: hey, how u doing? S: I’m good man, u? What u been up to? D: Yeah, tired but good. Just been thru my heat and am exhausted. D: Went ok tho, I had my suppressants. D: Can’t wait to c u when I get back D: Stiles? Stiles sat gripping his phone tightly causing the plastic to creak watching as the messages popped up on his screen. He knew vaguely that Derek was running a little late for his heat but it somehow never occurred to him that he would go through it without him. He knew he was a couple of hours away or whatever but they could’ve done something, his family would’ve understood, surely? He would’ve driven over or Derek could’ve stayed behind, or something could’ve been figured out. He just never imagined that he wouldn’t call him... wouldn’t want to... He stared at his phone for several minutes trying to work out what to say, what he was even feeling... D: Stiles? u there? Stiles hit the call button in shock and Derek answered after one ring. ‘Hey’ ‘Hey’ ‘Stiles... are you ok?’ Stiles sighed heavily, ‘no. I don’t know. Maybe? I gotta say I’m a little surprised here. Actually that’s a major understatement, why did you do that? I would’ve come, I don’t... I don’t get you’ he mumbled sitting heavily on the edge of his bed. ‘I just thought it was the best idea? I didn’t mean to upset you, I just, I didn’t want to ruin your Christmas plans or anything, it was all bad timing... I’m sorry, maybe I wasn’t thinking’ Derek sighed deeply. Stiles sniffed, ‘it wouldn’t have been an inconvenience Derek, I’ve hardly had anything going on this week and I thought we were doing this for real now. I mean... are you being honest? Is that the truth, that you thought we wouldn’t be able to work it out? Is that the only reason you didn’t call me?’ There was silence down the line for a minute before Derek quietly answered, ‘no, ok, maybe I thought we shouldn’t rush things with it being so soon after... everything. And you know when you said you wanted us to get to know each other properly without all the umm, physical stuff? I thought maybe that’s maybe what you meant...’ Stiles huffed an exasperated laugh, ‘no Derek that’s not what I meant, oh my god... really?’ he rubbed his forehead in exasperation before realising he probably sounded far too harsh. ‘Sorry, I just... urgh, Derek you need to talk to me before you make these decisions for the both of us ok? Please?’ Derek mumbled something incomprehensible and Stiles pushed up from his bed to start stalking up and down his room, worried they were fucking things up before they’d even started. ‘Ok, I get what you mean Derek and thank you, thank you for listening to me and trying to follow what I asked. It’s just, I still want to spend my heats with you and I want to be with you on yours, that is something that’s never been an issue with us. And I’m kinda terrible at doing heats alone, like I thought I wouldn’t even have to worry about that now...’ ‘No no, Stiles, you don’t have to worry, honestly, I’ll be there every time for you, I promise. Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t want to because, oh man, I wanted you there, like so badly. I couldn’t stop thinking about you and I don’t want to have to do it alone again if you think we can do that. Oh god, I’m sorry.’ ‘Hey, stop apologising... I know you had good intentions, you just surprised me that’s all. And maybe next time can you talk it over with me before you make these kinds of decisions? ‘Yeah... I’m sorry, you need to be patient with me I guess, I’m so bad at all this. I really have no clue what I’m doing’ Derek mumbled. Stiles sighed, dropping back down onto his bed, ‘hey you’re not the only one, seriously. Just... I think we need to start being there for each other a bit more, y’know? And I really miss you right now Derek, I wish you were here so I could see you properly.’ ‘Me too, I miss you a lot. We travel back tomorrow, maybe I can see you in the evening?’ ‘Yeah, if you’re not too tired? I don’t think my dad will let me stay out late but I want to see you.’ ‘I could come over to yours? Once I can get away maybe?’ Stiles smiled, ‘that sounds perfect, drop me a text when you’re on your way.’ ‘Ok. Miss you.’ ‘Miss you too, idiot.’ Stiles hung up and his smile faded fast as he stared up at his darkened ceiling. He knew they wouldn’t fall into a perfect relationship but they just seemed to be stumbling at every hurdle placed in their way at the moment and it was so incredibly frustrating. He curled tight on his side staring blindly at his wall, although he knew Derek was being restrained and wanted to take things slow between them, he couldn’t help but feel the twinge of unhappiness and disappointment that he’d missed his heat. Their heats were what had bonded them since the beginning and although maybe on the surface it was just about physical release, he felt that between them, it was always something so incredibly powerful and special. He sighed heavily and tried not to over-think it, at least they’d be seeing each other again finally and hopefully face to face they’d be able to work on this whole ‘being together’ thing a little more successfully.   It turned out that Derek didn’t get back until far later than he’d anticipated, they’d been delayed by bad traffic and thunderstorms and then his sister’s had wanted to take a detour to some tourist attraction on the way home. Derek had been sending increasingly frustrated texts to Stiles throughout the day venting his annoyance at not being able to get back sooner. It was the Sunday before they had to be back at school and Stiles had just wondered around the house trying not to look like he was moping too much but he didn’t think it was working. He was bored, nothing could hold his attention and he didn’t even have any assignments left to do. And yeah, he just badly wanted to see Derek, he couldn’t deny it. It hit 6pm and Derek texted to say they were finally on their way back to Beacon Hills but would be a few hours still. Stiles was sat with his dad at the table picking over his dinner unenthusiastically and when he saw the message, he threw his fork down in frustration and huffed loudly, swearing quietly under his breath. His dad raised an eyebrow, his patience with Stiles’ mood had been steadily depleting throughout the day and he looked distinctly unimpressed. ‘Stiles, for god’s sake, stop looking like it’s the end of the world, you’re being ridiculous.’ ‘Oh gee, thanks for the understanding dad’ he snapped, jerking away from the table and stomping upstairs, he could feel the anger and disappointment bubbling under his skin, the tension rising in his chest so he barely felt he could breathe. His dad called out behind him but he just made for his room and slammed his door hard behind him, tears stinging his eyes. He knew he was acting like a kid and was totally over-reacting but he couldn’t help it, his fingers shook as he tried typing out a reply message. S: Can u still come over? D: I dunno now, don’t think I’ll be allowed :-/ S: :-((((( He wrapped his arms around himself and clutched tightly at his sweatshirt whilst staring out the window to watch the driving rain beat against his window. Ideally he would go for a run right now to burn some of his pent up energy off but no way was he going out in that so instead, he turned to his laptop and pulled up the next movie he had queued to watch. It took him a good hour or so to be able to calm down enough to follow anything that was going on, but slowly, his anger turned to moroseness and he curled on his side hugging himself trying to numb his thoughts. He knew he owed his dad an apology but that was going to have to wait until tomorrow, he didn’t think he had the mind state to hold an adult conversation just yet. The hours passed without him even registering it as he allowed himself to be hypnotised by the flickering of the screen. He must’ve fallen asleep at some point as he startled awake when his phone buzzed on his belly. D: Can I come over now? Stiles gazed out at the pitch blackness outside his window before glancing at his clock, it was 11:30pm and he knew his dad was in bed already. He couldn’t help but grin as his heartbeat started to rise and tendrils of excitement started racing through him. S: Yes! Come to my window, dad’s asleep. He drummed his fingers nervously as he glanced around his room before throwing himself to his feet and trying to tidy up a little bit before looking down at the sleep clothes he was wearing, his old grey sweatpants and thin t-shirt with holes forming at the hem. He frowned and considered getting changed before pulling himself to a stop, what was he doing? Why he was acting like Derek had never been here a hundred times before, had seen him at his best and worst and really wouldn’t care? He ran shaking fingers roughly through his hair before dropping to the bed, this whole thing was terrifying he realised, amazing but terrifying. A soft sound came from the window and Stiles jumped, he had no idea how Derek had got there so quickly and he squinted out into the darkness to make sure it was him. He saw red eyes glimmering through the window as Derek used his enhanced sight to make his way in the dark and Stiles felt the huge smile splitting his mouth as he opened the latch to let him in. Derek crawled in with smooth movements, the dark of his jacket and jeans making him look like the creature of the night he was. Stiles stepped back and watched Derek pull himself up, unfolding elegantly as he paused to take in Stiles watching him. There was a silence that enhanced the echoing of their hearts beating fast in their chests before they both started moving forwards at the same time. He was here, he was finally here, and the thread that had been pulling ever tighter in his chest to the point of suffocation was starting to loosen and he could finally breathe in the oxygen that Derek provided. Derek was panting heavily, he must’ve run the whole way there and there was a sheen of sweat on his forehead, the rain had lessoned but it was still falling enough to have flattened his hair into little dark curls over his forehead. Stiles stared over every beautiful inch of him he could, it was like now he had him in front of him, he needed to make sure he was really there, every last piece of him. He couldn’t hold out much longer and closed the final gap between them, eyes flitting over Derek’s face that held an expression that looked as desperate as he felt and he just inserted himself in that gap in the opening of Derek’s leather jacket and snaked his arms underneath to find the heat and tightness of his torso, pulling him in close. He smiled in relief as Derek regarded him carefully before giving in completely and just burying his nose in the soft skin of Derek’s neck so he could scent him and convince himself this was real. He let out a satisfied moan from deep in his chest and that seemed to be all Derek needed before strong arms were coming up to grip him back tightly, cool nose burying itself in his hair. They stood like that for a while, just clutching and rocking from side to side as they melted into each other and reminded themselves of their bodies again. Derek was stroking careful hands down his back, smoothing his shirt over the knobs of his spine and Stiles took a deep sigh, rubbing his cheek over the broad chest in front of him before finally pulling back a little. ‘Hi. Can’t tell you how happy I am you came over tonight’ he muttered shyly even though they were both behaving as ridiculously as the other, like they’d been apart for years, not a week. Derek’s lips formed a small, warm smile, the kind Stiles hadn’t seen that often and felt privileged to be the one to cause it, ‘me too, I barely even put my bags down before coming over here. Mom wanted me to stay so I had to sneak out, she’s gonna be mad when I get back.’ Stiles giggled at Derek’s rebelliousness before sighing, ‘glad you did, I’ve been going crazy today thinking I might not see you. My dad was close to strangling me I think.’ Derek frowned and pulled up a hand to stroke over his brows, ‘no strangling allowed, I want you all in one piece for myself.’ Stiles grinned hopelessly, stomach fluttering at the lightness of his touch, the sweetness of his words. He leaned forward again, this time his head angling to brush against Derek’s nose, the small smile clinging there disappearing as Stiles breathed heatedly over Derek’s pink lips in a tease. He held still for a moment before pushing forward, he’d wanted to do this all week and fuck it, he was going for it. Derek pulled him in tight again as they kissed gently, lips softly moving over the others as they fell into that familiar touch. After a few minutes, he pulled back slightly before dragging his lips faintly over Derek’s, and away finally. He pulled back to get Derek to loosen his grip before reaching to tug at on the over-long sleeves of his jacket. Derek quickly got the hint and shrugged it off before moving to hang it on the back of Stiles’ desk chair. Whilst he had his back turned, Stiles yanked his t-shirt off in a hurry and let it fall to the floor without a backward glance before sidling up to Derek’s back and pressing lips to the nape of his exposed neck and wrapping his arms tightly around his narrow waist. Derek shivered under his touch and clutched his broad hands to the warm skin of Stiles’ arms, head bowing to allow Stiles to scent freely. He ran his nose through Derek’s fine hair, the Alpha scent engulfing him and he moved to work a leg between Derek’s thighs, chest grumbling at the satisfaction in the touch. Derek squirmed in his grip until he managed to pull himself around to be facing Stiles, but he still held on tight and kept him in the circle of his bare arms. Derek’s eyes opened wide as he saw Stiles’ exposed chest in front of him and bit at his lip before bringing his hands to lay on the rounded muscles of his shoulders, touch warm and rough and just perfect. His eyes met Stiles’ and they gazed at each other, pupils blown before Derek’s were fluttering shut again as he dipped his head to meet his lips once more. It was more intense now, a purpose held behind the swipes of tongue and nips of teeth as they both strained into each other. Stiles pulled himself to his tip- toes to get as close as he could to Derek, he felt like he wanted to crawl in and be as much a part of him as possible, as creepy as he realised that was. He kept shifting incrementally forward, pushing and nudging until Derek was held hard against the wood of the desk behind him as they sucked and gasped into each other’s mouths, hands roaming freely over any skin they could find. Derek shuddered heatedly under his touch, hands barely stilling for a minute, ‘fuck, I shoulda called, I needed this so much’ his voice gruff and shaking with need. Stiles rocked into him pushing his hardness against Derek’s ‘yeah, you really should’ve’ he agreed as he pressed their foreheads together. ‘I’m... fuck... I’m an idiot’ Derek ground out as Stiles continued shifting hard against him, one hand gripping tightly at the nape of his neck, the other running impatiently over Derek’s chest. Stiles smiled as he licked his lips, ‘maybe. But you’re my idiot’ he teased before leaning in again to capture Derek’s red and waiting lips. He was fully aware that this wasn’t quite the taking things slow path that he thought they should take but with Derek being away for all those days and knowing that he’d had his heat without him... it made him lose all rational thought now he had the man in front of him burning hot and making him dizzy. He needed the closeness and the mix of their scents, to reassure himself that Derek did actually want him, as bad he might be at expressing that. The air between them was hot and sweaty and Stiles pulled back momentarily to grab at Derek’s t-shirt to yank it off. It caught on Derek’s ear and he saw the wince, ‘sorry, sorry’ he whispered before moving in again to claim him, Derek quickly brought his hands back down to cup Stiles’ jaw, fingers pressing in to feel the stretch of skin, the hollowness of his cheeks as he chased the heat of Derek’s mouth. Stiles was being rough but he knew Derek could take it, he was the stronger one and he knew he’d pull back if he went too far but as he pushed insistently forward, he was making his desk shake under Derek’s thighs and could see it starting to tip backwards. As if reading his mind, Derek glided his hands down over his shoulders, down his back until they spread over his ass, fanning out there to feel how Stiles was flexing against him. Stiles pulled back to nip Derek’s bottom lip between his teeth as those hands snaked along his hips to his slender thighs where his intentions became clear when he gripped hard and yanked. Stiles grinned releasing Derek’s lip and he braced his arms around his neck and allowed his legs to be pulled around Derek’s waist where he locked them tight. Stiles hitched forward just to adjust his balance and in doing so, aligned their dicks in a friction so perfect they both pulled back with shocked eyes, gasping at the feeling. Stiles clasped his sweaty arms tighter around Derek’s neck who seemed to not even be affected by the weight of him and they gazed with heavy lids as Stiles rocked with precision to hit that perfect place again. It was too good not to chase and as he flexed his stomach and tilted his pelvis, Derek started rocking back in synch with his movements. It was just a steady push and pull they created, slow but perfect as they nuzzled into each other again, lips brushing just to maintain the contact. Stiles gripped onto Derek’s neck still but brought his right hand to brush over Derek’s taught nipples and that made Derek lose a little focus as he nearly stumbled sideways. Stiles pulled back a little grinning, ‘sorry’ he whispered to Derek’s slick mouth. Derek just breathed heavy against him, eyes downcast to stare at the movement of Stiles’ hips flexing against him, fingers slipping on his skin as he held him in place, ‘fuck Stiles...’ he whispered. The desire he held for Derek crashed over him in waves and with a surge forward, he simultaneously pushed in as tight as he could against Derek’s crotch, ran his hand roughly over his taut nipple and delved deep into his mouth to suck at his tongue. Derek tried to cry out but Stiles caught the sounds with his mouth as he could feel the Alpha start to shake and fall apart under him. He ran his fingers over Derek’s jaw as his lips started to slacken with the orgasm tearing through him, there were a million thoughts he wanted to whisper into Derek’s ear right now as he watched that beautiful wrecked face he held so carefully but instead he just took it all in. Just watched and listened to their beating hearts, their laboured breaths. Derek’s strength was weakened by his orgasm and he started to overbalance. Somehow they fell to the floor with some kind of grace and as Derek lay sprawled under him, Stiles slipped a hand into his sweats and jerked himself off as he watched the play of light over Derek’s golden skin shimmering as the last tendrils of his orgasm faded out. Derek brought a hand to Stiles’ hip and watched with a glazed expression, it only took a few pumps before Stiles was there, crying out in relief as his come splattered over Derek’s stomach before he slumped forward to gasp into his shoulder, knees straddled either side of him. ‘Don’t go away again’ he mumbled into the skin beneath his lips before pressing a lazy kiss there. Derek’s arms pulled in around his back holding him place, ‘I’ll try not to. Although if this is the welcome home I’m gonna get then maybe I should actually do this every week.’ Stiles flopped out a hand to swat at his head as Derek laughed beneath him, stomach muscles flexing and chest rumbling. Stiles hummed as his tiredness stared getting the better of him and it wasn’t long before the draft from the window was making him feel cold and shivery. They both stumbled to their feet, helping each other across to the bed, stripping off their pants along the way, Stiles’ discarded t-shirt used to wipe themselves vaguely clean again before crawling in bed naked. They lay curled on their sides facing each other and snuffling lightly as they shifted to get comfy. The light was dim but Stiles could make out Derek’s soft smile as they gazed at each other under the sheet they had pulled over them to create their own little world. He felt peaceful and content finally, just having him here made him settle even if things weren’t perfect yet. Hell, maybe there was no such thing as perfect, but right now with Derek reaching out to intertwine their fingers, all that mattered is that they were together again as they fell asleep.   The following morning they were woken abruptly by Stiles’ alarm ringing out across the room. Derek had been hugging Stiles lightly from behind but as soon as the electric buzz rang out, Stiles flailed in shock stumbling to the floor and looking around in surprise, he hadn’t had an early morning the past couple of weeks and it was a shock to the system. Derek just groaned and covered his face with his hands in denial until Stiles started tugging at the sheets, ‘get up man, school day’ he urged before racing around his room to get ready. ‘Fuck!’ Derek sat up in sudden realisation, ‘shit, I was supposed to go back home last night, I have none of my stuff here... oh man...’ he whined. Stiles gazed over at him with affection, his hair looked all fluffy, half flattened on one side, the other sticking up and he had the creases of sheets imprinted on his cheek. He couldn’t help but drop the clothes he was going to change into, walking over with a dopey smile on his face, ‘Morning beautiful’ he murmured before leaning in close to brush a kiss to Derek’s lips. Derek’s eyes fluttered closed and for a second before reaching up trying to pull Stiles in closer to him, Stiles broke away laughing swatting at him, ‘uh- uh no time for that man! C’mon.’ Derek hung his head and groaned again, ‘this is so unfair’ he grumbled, finally swinging his legs off the bed as Stiles went back to grabbing his clothes. He stood hopelessly in the middle of the room, still looking shocked at being awake, ‘I should probably... I mean if I run, like real fast, I could probably make my first class still.’ Stiles grabbed his wrist, ‘you don’t really need anything special today right? You can borrow text books and I’m guessing your assignments were all sent in already?’ Derek nodded dumbly. ‘Cool. So stay, have breakfast and you can borrow some clothes, I’m sure I have something you could fit, if not, my dad can loan you something.’ ‘Ummm right... yeah, ok. That could... thanks.’ Stiles smiled happily and somehow they managed to get showered, dressed, fed and out the house on time. His dad had paused with surprise when Derek had followed him nervously into the kitchen, but he just shrugged and loaded some more bread into the toaster for them all. He guessed his dad knew there wasn’t much that would keep them apart once Derek was home again and he was just happy to see Stiles’ mood improve. He had to admit that it was totally weird having Derek sitting next to him in the passenger seat of the Jeep whilst he flicked through the radio stations trying to find something that didn’t grate on him. Derek looked awake now, smelling of toothpaste and wearing one of Stiles’ out-sized t-shirts that fitted him just right. It made something warm bloom to have their scents so inter-mingled, there would be no missing the fact that they were together now. Derek had grown quieter as the morning had gone on and he was now just watching the stores and houses flash by, but it was ok, it was nice and easy somehow. Stiles had to bite his lip that they were finally doing this, they’d spent the night together and it wasn’t for a heat, it was just to be close, to be with each other. Something dipped in his stomach and he gripped the steering wheel a little tighter trying not to get too giddy over what it all meant. Getting to school was weird. They were fine in their own little bubble, but now? Amongst everyone else? Stiles had no idea how they were going to do this, they had never interacted in front of their friends and they belonged to such different worlds. But Derek seemed to have decided on a plan already, he opened up his door before Stiles had even unclipped his seat belt and he strode around to the other side waiting for him. Stiles made his usual graceful exit, stumbling forward and hitching his bag on his shoulder flashing a grin at Derek as he caught himself. A smile fluttered over Derek’s lips before disappearing just as fast and he reached forward to purposefully grab Stiles’ hand a little too tightly and he pulled him towards the school entrance. Stiles had to hurry to keep up with him, staring in vague amazement at the look of determination on Derek’s face, he had to bite his lip so he didn’t ask Derek why he looked like he was marching them both towards their execution or something. Instead he tried to keep up with him, his hand being yanked along. It was kinda sweet in a weird way he guessed even if he was getting out of breath at the trot he’d had to adopt to meet Derek’s strides, man he needed to work on his fitness. Stiles could see the looks and hear whispers as he was pulled down the hallway but he was distracted by just keeping his footing at the speed they were going. On reaching his locker, Derek finally dropped his hand and turned to stare at him, he looked nervous with dry lips and wide eyes and Stiles could feel the squirm of uncertainty in his gut. He knew Derek was trying but did it really have to be this hard work? He licked his lip and breathed harshly, ‘you ok?’ he muttered quietly. Derek nodded minutely and leaned into his space, eyes now trained on the floor. Stiles swallowed down his growing anxiety and tried for casual ‘well ok then, I guess I’ll catch you later?’ Derek breathed heavily before flicking his gaze up, eyes intense and pinched, ‘yeah’ he agreed before moving in lightening quick to brush a kiss to Stiles’ lips before turning and marching away. Stiles watched him go and couldn’t help but huff a laugh in bemusement. He was happy to hear Scott’s cheerful voice echoing down the hallway and soon he got wrapped up in catching up with his best friend again, arms hooked around each other’s shoulders as they moved towards their first class. He was well aware of the stares he was still getting but Scott was thankfully oblivious and he did his best to ignore it. The school day went as normal until it got to lunch time and he sat down heavily with his tray at his usual table, throwing his bag into a chair next to him to save it for Scott who was running late. He was just working his way through a thick sandwich whilst browsing on his phone when he heard the mutters start and the atmosphere in the room change. He blinked heavily looking around to see what was going on and there he was, Derek’s looming figure heading straight for him, that march in action again. Stiles swallowed his mouthful heavily and watched in amazement as Derek reached his table, stared at him like there was something he was pissed at Stiles about before moving around to sit in Scott’s seat, dropping the bag to the floor. He shoved his hands in his pockets and slouched low in the chair before flicking his eyes to Stiles, ‘hey.’ Stiles just gaped at him, he actually was kinda speechless. He darted his head around the room before looking back at Derek, ‘umm, hi. Everything ok man?’ Derek cleared his throat and still looked like he was trying to hide in his jacket, ‘yep, fine.’ ‘You know you don’t have to sit here right? You can sit with your friends, I don’t mind.’ ‘You don’t want me here?’ Derek hissed although his eyes betrayed a fear that Stiles would say no. Stiles sighed as he slouched back in his seat, ‘that’s not what I... you know what, we’ll talk about this later.’ Derek just nodded stiffly, lips thinned out to white lines before dripping his head to hunch back down again. Stiles shook his head and sighed and just decided to carry on with his lunch, he couldn’t work this out right now and he knew that the majority of ears in the cafeteria were currently focussed on the two of them and the last thing he wanted was to hold a heated discussion in front of the whole school. And maybe this was just some kind of period of adjustment for Derek that he would get over so he wouldn’t look like it pained him to be around Stiles in front of a crowd. Whatever. Scott came bumbling in a few minutes later and screeched to a halt when he saw Derek slumped next to Stiles, eyes flitting dark around the room like he could shoot out daggers just from a look. ‘Umm hi guys... Derek.’ Derek just nodded silently and Scott quirked an eyebrow at Stiles in question. Stiles just shrugged, he had no idea what to say. Scott grabbed another chair and didn’t let the whole situation throw him off, he just started chattering away as normal and Stiles felt he could kiss the guy in gratitude. It seemed to take Derek all lunch to calm down, Stiles was all too aware of how the guy’s heart was thudding so loudly in his chest like he was on the verge of a panic attack. Five minutes before the bell was due to ring Derek twisted in his chair, glancing around at the emptying lunch hall before he shifted closer, knee pressing in against his own and a damp hand darted out to pull his below the table where he held on tight as if for reassurance. Stiles flinched in surprise but when he turned to look at Derek’s unsure eyes, he squeezed his fingers back in response. Maybe he was being too hard on the guy, this was only their first day back and the gossip would quickly die down in a few days, this was the hardest part, right? He quirked a small smile to Derek whose lips managed to pull up in something resembling a smile before gazing away again. He might’ve been upset by that except Derek started running his thumb over Stiles’ hand, just gentle but a slight pressure that he liked, it was nice. It was all over a few minutes later as the bell sounded again and they all scrambled to their feet to dash off to their next class, Derek pressing a dry brush of lips to Stiles’ cheek before ducking his head and disappearing off again. Scott stared between the two of them for a moment, ‘so, that was kinda weird? I thought you’d figured things out.’ Stiles hummed in contemplation, ‘yeah, I think this is Derek making an effort...’ ‘Oh, right ok... wow’ Scott blew out his cheeks, eyebrows high on his forehead. Stiles laughed dryly, ‘yeah, that about sums it up Scotty.’   Stiles fidgeted as the day drew to a close, he’d driven Derek in and knew he should try and track him down to offer him a lift home. He knew he could run home with ease but it didn’t seem cool to just head off without a word. He wondered when he would stop feeling nervous at the thought of seeing the guy again though... he didn’t think he could make it much longer so caught up in all the crazy emotions Derek seemed to induce in him. He was the last to head out of class after dropping all his papers as he was trying to pack up hurriedly and he had his phone out ready to call Derek when a hand reached out to stop him. Of course, there he was, heavy eyebrows and all. ‘Hey man, I was just gonna call you.’ Derek looked vaguely pleased for a moment, ‘yeah, so I have training tonight, you don’t need to wait for me, I can make my own way home.’ ‘You sure? I can if you need me to.’ Derek shook his head, ‘maybe see you later?’ Stiles quirked his head, ‘ok, yeah. Later.’ Derek nodded formally and this time he just walked away. Stiles watched the solid line of his back as he commanded the hallway as usual, he seemed oblivious to the looks and whispers centred around their interaction. He stared in uncertainty for a second before getting the hell out of there as fast as he could.   Chapter End Notes I can't give them an easy ride just yet... I just don't think they'd fall into an ideal relationship straight away, it just wouldn't be them! Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!