Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/2777666. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: My_Chemical_Romance, Green_Day Relationship: Frank_Iero/Gerard_Way, Frank/Gerard, Billie_Joe_Armstrong/Frank_Iero, Frank_Iero/Original_Male_Character Character: Frank_Iero, Gerard_Way, Mikey_Way, Billie_Joe_Armstrong, Alex_Gaskarth, Original_Characters Additional Tags: Rape/Non-con_Elements, Teacher-Student_Relationship, Prostitution Stats: Published: 2014-12-15 Chapters: 62/62 Words: 51634 ****** Pay the Price ****** by mcrlove412 Summary Franks mom does drugs and has no job which means she's not paying for his school tuition. Frank needs to graduate so he needs the money. He becomes a prosiitute and accidentally tried to sell himself to his best friends brother who happens to be a fucking teacher. Ferard ***** 1 ***** From mikey: wanna come over tonight? to mikey: what time? from mikey: idk whenever I guess i to mikey: ya I'll stop but it'll have to be later k? from mikey: cya then iero i threw my phone across my room in anger. I wish I could just fucking hang out with mikey instead of worrying about clients. I need this money I need it bad. I already need to pay the school it's 1,500 bucks and I need money for basic things like food. Of course most people have parents to pay for stuff but me being me only has a mom because my dad ran off to fuck knows where and my moms a drug addict. No one would ever think frank iero a top student and in junior honors society was really falling apart at the seams. That his mom did drugs and that he had to literally work his ass off to pay for school. If people did know about my mom I'm sure they'd ask why I didn't just drop out of school, but my answer would be straight forward: I wanna get the fuck outta this town i want to go where people don't know me as frank iero the stuck up schoolboy, or fun ghoul. most people don't know who or what fun ghoul is but the people who do I hate because they're horrible people but as long as they have money I'm willing to meet them. Like right now I could be at Mikey's house pigging out while his parents are at work but I have to go meet a client named rick in fifteen minutes. Hopefully it won't be too horrible but since he's offering 500 bucks I'm guessing he's probably going to want everything not just a blow job. Thats right im a prostitute. I know it's a horrible job but at 17 it's all I can do to make money since I don't want to get involved with drugs. i I got off my bed picked up my phone from when I threw it and began to get dressed. A fucking corset, then a lace g-string, then fishnets. That's underneath but on top I'm just wearing a white v neck jeans and some converse along with a hoddie. I walk into the bathroom and pull out my make up. I put on some eyeliner some red eyeshadow and some light pink lipstick. After one final check over in the mirror I exit my house and begin walking to the corner of Main Street and cascade drive where I'm supposed to meet the dude.   ----------------------------- "mhm you like that don't you baby." I said grinding my hips down while he was inside of me. "Y-yeah." He breathed out shakily. Thankfully the the guy had the money he'd promised and wasn't totally disgusting. He actually kinda cute probably only twenty five. "Mhm yea fun ghouls gonna make you feel real good." I said beginning to ride him harder. "uh-uh f-fuck." "Come on baby I know your almost there help me out babe touch me." I said to the young man writhing beneath me. he really must've needed laid because he came pretty quickly which meant less time with him and less of my fake sex talk but most importantly I got more tome to hang with mikey. After he he handed me the money I quickly got dressed but without the fishnets and corset. I walked home and put the hooker clothes away and wiped off my make up before heading to Mikey's. only 1000 more dollars until tuitions due in a month. ---------------------- "Iero you made it!" Mikey said smiling opening the door. "Yep I'm here and ready to pig out." I said basing straight for the kitchen. "Good my brother dropped off a pizza for us." "How come I never get to meet your oh so amazing artist of a brother?" "I don't know I mean he's looking for a job right now and doesn't really care to much for socializing but strangely he wants to be a teacher."   "Really? That is weird." I said taking a bite of pizza and grabbing a beer from the fridge. "But I do want to meet the wonderful dude that buys us beer and cigarettes. I mean seriously I don't anyone else who a brother that would do that for them." "I guess I just got lucky." Mikey smiled grabbing his own beer. ------------------- "so what was going on earlier that you had to come over at nine?" Mikey asked as we played guitar hero. "Working on a service project for honors society" yeah totally not fucking a stranger for money. "That sucks I don't know why you put so much effort into that honors shit anyway." He said after missing a note in the game. "I don't know I mean I really need a full scholarship or else no collage. I mean community collage my parents can afford but any actual collage is too expensive." I said lying about my parent... but the collage prices were true. I could manage community but some collages are almost 100,000 a year I'd have to spend all my free time and more fucking random people just to get half of that. "Yeah I guess it would be nice to go to school for free." He agreed after the song ended that we were playing. "buts it's almost 12 and my parents will be home soon so I guess I'll see you tomorrow at school?" "yeah totally cya mikes." I said exiting his home. On the way home I checked my phone and groaned at what was on it. 4 new messages fun ghoul tomorrow at 6? I'll pay 200;) fun ghoul can we do tmrow at 2? I got 150 fg tomorrow night at 9 I have 400 hey fun ghoul it's rick from today can we meet tomorrow same place for the same thing at midnight? I got 500 again. fuck there goes my night ***** 2 ***** School was a drag and seemed to last forever since I didn't have any classes with mikey. Currently i I was trying to sleep in science since we had a sub but the idiot next to me was to stupid and deaf to hear what we were supposed to be doing. after he asked me for the sixth different formula I snapped. "Just fucking take mine and copy it idiot!" I yelled slamming the paper on his desk. he took it and began writing and I didn't think anyone noticed me let him copy so I was still in the clear. It was Friday and I wasn't about to get a detention since I had a client literally picking me up in his van to fuck me right after school. I also had three others and was praying none of them were fakes and trying to get a free lay because I will not put myself or any of my baby making parts near anyone who isn't paying. And I don't fuck girls. Ever. They're basically walking sex toys. They don't care who they fuck or how many stds they get. It's disgusting. I always try and make my clients wear condoms but sometimes to get the money I have to just hope for the best. The bell rang and I instantly shot out of my seat but not before the jock next to me punched me in the guy and shoved the paper at me. "that's for calling me an idiot." He smirked "bye faggot." i tried ues to ignore the pain in my stomach and went outside quickly avoiding mikey and jumping into the van parked right where he'd texted me. He showed me the money and told me his name was 'd' because all I'd be seeing was his dick. Classy. -------------------------------- i ran outside chasing after rick who was supposed to pay me 500. He fucking tricked me. He gave me the money fucked me then took my jacket with money and ran. Luckily everything else was in my pants so I didn't lose anything to valuable. "You ass! Get back here with my money!" I yelled chasing him in a t shirt and boxers but my fishnets were still on underneath so I'm sure I looked about as cheap as I felt. "Fuck" I sighed and leaned against a wall. I sat for a minute calming myself down since I had the key to the motel room we fucked in And didn't have to worry about my stuff being stolen. Damn i paid for the whole night and have no money to pay for it. God I hated this part of being a hooker the most. Asking people on the street. I made ande sure no police were around and slipped off my t shirt and boxers leaving me in my corset and fish nets. I lit a cigarette and tried my best to look sexy but not draw to much attention since I was near a plan where a lot of people from school lived including mikey. I asked two good looking guys who rejected me , then started asking anyone (not girls) but everyone said no and a couple only had like ten bucks. I was a hooker but I wasn't cheap.   then I saw him. This man young man with long red hair and extremely gorgeous hazel eyes walking and smoking not looking like he was in a hurry. I stepped in front of him and grabbed the front of his shirt startling him a little. Huh good taste he was wearing a iron maiden shirt. "Hey baby looking for some fun?" I said biting my lip. "What are you a twelve year old hooker?" He said looking somewhat disgusted. "I'm not twelve I may be short but I make up for it in another area." i said winking "Yea Kid I'm sure you've got a very nice three incher don't worry once you hit puberty it might grow." Bastard ill prove him wrong. I glanced around and saw no one around us so I pinned him to the side of a building we were standing by and kissed him fiercely. He tried pushing me off but I wouldn't let him. I began grinding against him as hard as I could to let him feel that I was way more than three inches. "You sure you don't wanna have some fun?" "I-I.....just no...I can't..I-I sorry...listen heres fifty bucks just take it since your obviously trying to get money maybe some other day alright kid." He began walking away but I grabbed him again. "What?!" He snapped in my face. "You said another time...I'm not normally on the corners I'm more high class so if you wanna do me ask around for fun ghoul." "Fun ghoul I'll keep it in mind." He said. Then the hazel eyed stranger disappeared. ***** 3 ***** My whole weekend was basically just meeting clients. Good thing was that I had enough money for the months tuition but I still needed some more money for basic shit. I needed new clothes basic ones for school like jeans and t shirts but I also need new hooker clothes since another asshole who ripped me off and ran with my money tore them trying to take them off. Asshole. mikey had texted me a couple times but I was so busy with clients. I was also completely worn and my ass an lower back burned every time I moved. I had just got done with my last client a few hours ago and decided since it was late and Sunday that no kids from school would be out and that I could make it to the outer skin without being seen. The outer skin is where I buy my clothes. It's basically a store for strippers and go go dancers but the stuff was affordable and my clients liked my outfits from there. it was also the only store that I knew of open this late. i walked into the store and was greeted by Matt who owned the store. He was a cool dude and never told any buyers who else shopped here or what they bought. It was all a secret and I liked that. "What are we looking for today fun ghoul?" "I don't even care I need new fishnets though." "hmm what's the budget?" "I got 250 so don't give me anything over it or else I'm not buying it." "Alright you can look around but I think I have something you may like." matt disappeared into the back room and I just awkwardly wandered through the store seeing nothing that caught my eye. most of the stuff was for girls anyway. Matt returned with fishnets but really weren't. Instead of the traditional fishnet pattern they were spider webs. He also had a matching black corset with the same spider web trim on the ends. "Try this on." i grabbed the clothes and slid them on. They actually fit pretty well. I walked out of the dressing room earning a wolf whistle from matt. "Lookin good fun ghoul." "thanks." I said smiling. "How much is it?" I asked hoping I could afford it. "On the house." "What?" "on the house, free." "Your joking." I said not believing my own ears. "Nah man. You come here a lot and work for what money you have so take it." "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I yelled hugging him. "Haha your welcome now go before I change my mind." He said smirking. I quickly got dressed and left after saying thanks one more time. I walked home and almost shit when I saw mikey sitting on my front steps. "What are you doing here?" I asked shoving the clothes under my hoodie. "I got locked out and my parents are out and my brothers being a dick and won't answer." "Oh dude that sucks here come on in." I said unlocking the door with my key. "Dude where were you anyway it's like 9 on a Sunday." "Don't worry about it. I'll be right back." I said running upstairs and hiding the clothes in the guest bedroom. That was close. ***** 4 ***** "Dude I'm just crashing here ok? I'll just wear the same clothes to school tomorrow no one saw me today." Mikey said yawning "yeah sure I don't care but I'm not coming home after school so don't wait up for me." "you succcccckkkkkk." He groaned. "Oh! Guess what!" He asked sounding excited "what?" I said trying not to fall alseep right there on the spot. "My brother got his teaching job." "really? Awesome." "ya it's at our school. He was complaining though because he had to dye his hair for the job.i think he said he only teaches freshman" mikey said not really sounding excited at all. "Awesome. Night man." I said and then drifted off to sleep. -------------------------- i hadnt really been paying attention all day I'd been to busy texting back and forth with a really picky and bitchy client. He'd been complaining that he could only do noon and since that was my lunch hour I didn't wanna give it up. I looked at my schedule and saw I hour two hours of science one before lunch and one after. I wouldn't be missing anything since we'd only had a sub for the past week. I don't know what happend to our old science teacher but I couldn't care less that fucker hated me. I waited for the bell to ring for my first hour of science and when the halls were all crowded I slipped out the front door. I walked to the football field to meet my client 'Keith' under the bleachers.   ----------- "f-f-fuuuuuuc-k." I moaned. Yeah I moaned. This guy 'Keith' apparently doesn't like being the bottom and wanted to top. i normally top and even when they're in me I'm in control riding them. But not with Keith. this was probably the most fun I've had with a client in a long long time. "Yeah baby how's fun ghoul like getting fucked for a change?" He said thrusting even harder into me. "He l-looooooves it." I said moaning embarrassingly loud while trying to say love. "Yeah baby of course you do." He said chuckling. "Like this big cock shoved up your ass huh? Like taking it like the little whore twink you are." I couldn't even respond I was moaning too much. "You gonna answer me slut?" He said thrusting extremley hard to each word he said. "Huh?" He said now slamming into me at full force. my eyes went wide and I felt my stomach clench. I moaned louder than I ever had before and came harder than I ever had all over both of our stomachs. he quickly pulled out of me and grabbed my head shoving it towards his dick. I sat while he pumped himself and then came all over my face and into my mouth. "oh fuuuck. Mhmm swallow it." He moaned watching me while he came down from his high. I swallowed it and wiped my face with my hand licking all his cum off my fingers. "Fuck that was so good." He smiled pulling his pants back up. I pulled my boxers on while he dug around in his jacket. "Here's your money fun ghoul." he said holding a wad of cash out. "but I get one final kiss." He smirked. I leaned in and gave him a hot French kiss then pulled back. He smiled and handed me my money, then walked away. I turned around to grab my clothes when I saw someone standing at the entrance beneath the bleachers opposite from where I was. It looked like a teacher. shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. i quickly began throwing my clothes on making sure I kept all the money in my pocket. I began running as fast as I could when I saw the unfamiliar teacher walking towards me. I tried to run past him since that was towards the school but he grabbed me by the hood of my sweatshirt. "Fuck man let me go!" "Are you a student?" He asked me. "what the fuck do you think?" "I think you need to stop swearing at me and explain to me why when I was on my lunch brake I decided to take a walk and heard moaning." "Maybe because your a pervert and wanted to watch." I spat back. "who the fuck are you anyway?" "ill answer you after you answer my questions. 1-who are you 2-what grade 3-how old and 4-how old was the man I just saw you fucking?" i groaned but answered wanting to get the hell out of here and find mikey. This teacher looked familiar but I don't know why or where from. "Frank iero, junior, 17, and probably 27-30?" his eyes widened and his jaw dropped when he heard my last answer. "Now you answer me. Who the fuck are you?" "I'm mr.way the new science teacher and I'm guessing your the franklin that wasn't in my class last period because you were out here fucking some thirty year old instead of being in my class or going to lunch." "Well nice to meet you Mr. Way my new science teacher but I didn't need to go to lunch I just ate or weren't you watching long enough? And I believe you have a class to teach in ten minutes." "And guess who's coming with me punk?" "hmm I don't know maybe your balls once you grow some." "wow nice come back considering I just saw you sucking someone else's. Now let's go before I get you suspended." "wait your not gonna give me a detention are you?" I asked worriedly. I had one god damn client after school and I needed to meet him for what he's offering me. If I lay him and it's good enough he's going to pay me 800. That's enough for me and for for the start of next months tuition. "Why are you so worried about a detention? And yea you're getting one." "No no no no no please I'll take the detention just not today. I'll come any other day this week or any morning before school just not today." "Why what's going on today?" He asked smugly and sounding like a tool. "I- just seriously any other day I'll even do a two hour detention just not today." "Unless you give me a reason then no." "Shit man seriously I'm screwed if I don't......" I trailed off not sure what to say. "Screwed if you don't what?" "please hear me out I'll come tomorrow two hours and I'll give you twenty bucks please I'm begging." He stared at me for a while and I was giving him the best puppy dog face I could. "Fine." what the fuck just happend? He just walked away....and said yes.... I stood there shit faced and all I could think of was how lucky I just got and trying to figure out how the fuck I know him. ***** 5 ***** Class was awkward to say the least. I showed up to class late since I went to the bathroom to clean myself up and because of that when I showed up the only seat open was directly infront of him. I sat down and he handed me a paper. He was having us all take a mock test to see where we all were in science. I'm actually not horrible at science and finished rather quickly. I threw the test at him since he was close enough and because I was still pissed. I decided to spend the last ten minutes of class texting my client and going over our plans. He was going to pick me up at 3:30 from school. Since school ended at 2 so I figured I'd just smoke some cigarettes and do homework until he showed up. I texted him and asked him what he wanted since I had my new costume in my locker and was debating whether or not I should wear it for him. He said he wanted a lap dance strip show then a fuck. Wow. He really wants the full package. I texted him and asked how much money he had. He responded to me and confirmed that the 800 would be there waiting for me as long as I fucked him. just when I was about to text him back and say okay Mr. Way grabbed my phone out my hands. "No phones in class, you can come get it later at the end of the day." "Are you kidding me?" "no but I bet you wish I were. see you at the end of the day frank." He said just as the bell rang dissmissing class. as I grabbed my things I saw my phone light up and I could clearly see fun ghoul was typed in the message. Shit. if any of my clients text me I'm screwed because most of the messages I get are straightforward they all basically say fun ghoul wanna fuck then the time and then how much money they have. Its bad enough he thinks I'm a slut since he saw me earlier but if a fucking teacher knows I'm a prositute my dreams for a collage and getting out of this town are all going down the drain. I walk out of his room but wait outside the door for mikey since we normally meet up to walk to the next class together. Today were going to art last period. Thank god, if it was an actual class I would've been pissed. "what're you still doing here frank?" Mr. Way asked me as he walked into the hallway. "I'm waiting for my one friend in this goddamn shithole so you can fuck off." I replied rudely. "No actually I wanna meet your one friend. Or is he not a friend? Maybe just a fuck buddy?" "oh yea we suck each others cocks all day and I love deep throating him until he spills in my mouth." I said sarcastically. Where the hell is mikey anyway? He's taking forever and I'm not standing with Mr. Asshole all day so I decide to walk off. "bye frank have a nice day." He calls down the hall towards me. "fucker I'll be back for my phone!" I yell back before going to art class. ------------------- as I walk to go get my phone I'm worried. I know clients were texting me, since that's all they ever do and I could get found out by Mr. Way but I'm also worried that since I didn't respond to clients they'll be mad and won't use me anymore, and I need the money. And the fact that I had a condom in my phone case wasn't helping. Knowing the way he's been acting he'll probably be one of those creepy teachers and take off my case looking for drugs or some shit to get me into even more trouble. "give me my phone." I demand once I reach his desk. "Still in a hurry?" "look Way give me fucking phone or I swear to god I will-" "here take it I don't want to hear your empty threats. By the way it kept going off all class you must be popular." "You......you didn't.....read any messages did you?" "no why should I have?" I shook my head and darted out of the classroom. I went to my locker and grabbed my outfit then went into an empty bathroom locked the door and changed. I slid my normal clothes back over top so you couldn't see any hooker clothes and walked outside to wait for my client. he showed up but of course the dude had a fucking white van. I walked over to the passenger side window of the van and talked to him being flirty for a while and making sure he wasn't going to kidnap me. He told me his name was Ryan and asked me to prove to him I was worth the money before he let me into his car. "how do you want me to do that?" I asked trying to be sexy. I had no idea on what he wanted me to do that didn't involve me naked in the car fucking him. "Show me yourself I wanna see how big you are then you can hop in." "You want me to flash you? Ryan baby there's people around." I said trying to be sexy but also trying to point out the obvious fact that someone could see me. "fun ghoul either do it or I drive away." "fine I huffed." i backed up a little so he could see me and pulled down my pants but not all the way only revealing some of my costume. I unhooked the pants from the corset and pulled my junk out. "good enough for ya?" I questioned "for being a little dude you have to be at least 9 inches." He said gawking at me. I climbed in his van and smirked "nine and a half." just as we were pulling away from the school I saw Mr. Way staring wide eyed at the van. Great. He must've saw my dick. ***** 6 ***** I was worn out and in pain from Ryan. Ryan has a major pain fetish and he like to be in charge. It would've been considered rape if he wasn't paying me. I walked home with all 800 bucks in my pocket and tried not to wince in pain with every step I took. When I finally arrived home my mom was sleeping on the couch and looked normal but I saw the needle on the floor. I sighed and grabbed a blanket for her. I threw it over her and went upstairs to my room. The steps hurt like a bitch but I finally made it upstairs. I plugged my phone in and grabbed a pair of pajamas pants and an iron maiden shirt for when I got out of the shower. "Fuck." I said looking at myself. The left side of my jaw had a huge bruise and on the right side of my forehead was another bruise but this one was accompanied by a gash. I turned on the shower and just stood under the hot water trying to get my back to ease up. I hated customer like Ryan but at least I had enough money for the tuition when it's due at the end of the month. i finally got out of the shower after probably an hour and got dressed. I left the bathroom and went into my room getting scared shitless when I saw someone on my bed. after I calmed down I realized it was mikey. "Hey mikes." "what the fuck happened!!!?!?!" He exclaimed jumping off the bed and standing in front of me looking worried. "What are you- oh my face." "Yea your face! Frank what happened?....your mom didn't-" "no mikey you'd know she'd never do this!" I said seriously. My mom may be a drug addict without a job and basically does nothing but spend her time getting high and wasted but she's never ever touched me or hurt me besides emotionally. But the emotional damage is only from having to watch her hurt herself and give up on everything. "Well sorry frank but I are you okay? I mean that looks like it needs stitched." He said pointing to my forehead. "It probably does but how are we going to the hospital? I don't have a car and neither do you-" "my brother can take us!" "No mikey just leave it okay? I'll be fine I promise and if it doesn't heal within a week you can drag me to the E.R." Mikey sighed knowing he wasn't going to win this fight with me. I'm terrified of hospitals and haven't gone to the doctors in forever. since I don't play sports I don't need a physical all I have to do is have all my vaccinations which I can get at walgreens instead of the doctors and I'm good.   Im also worried if I went to the doctors they'd tell me I had all kind of sexual diseases that need to be treated and then id have to fuck even more people for treatment money and then ill end up getting more std's anyway for school money so it doesn't matter. "You crashing here?" "Ya that okay?" "ya man I don't give a shit but I'm tired so night mikes." I said jumping onto my bed mikey just turned on the tv and jumped on my couch. ------------------------ i got a lot of stares at school but I mean what did I expect. I'm just happy I don't have any clients today and hoping that no one will text me about meeting up because I'm still recovering from Ryan. i ate outside by myself since mikey had detention. I already served my detention this morning but thank god Mr. Way wasn't the teacher there. We had some freshman bio teacher but I was just happy that Mr. Creep wasn't there especially since I'm pretty sure he saw my dick yesterday. I mean he saw me and the dude under the bleachers but I doubt he saw anything because of the position we were in. i had him last class so after the bell rings for math to end I'm off to science. -------------------------- the bell for the end of the day rang and as I was leaving a voice stopped me. "frank can you come here?" i sighed and walked over to his desk. "Yea?" I questioned half heartedly "are you uhm okay?" He asked giving me a concerned look. "yep perfect. Can I leave now?" "no. Frank I'm being serious. Here hold on." He said going over to the door and shutting it before returning to his spot in front of me. "what happened to your face?" I didn't want to answer so me being me changed the subject. "Did you see my junk yesterday?"   His face changed to shocked and he just looked at me. "You can go now." He said averting his gaze to the floor. ***** 7 ***** *3 days later* i hadn't gone to school for the past three days and today was Thursday. I hadn't been going because I ended up needing more money. I had accidentally made the mistake of leaving all my money in my underwear drawer where my mom found it while looking for drugs she said I was keeping hidden from her. She was high while looking and decided to take half the money thinking I wouldn't notice. Well I noticed. and guess what. None of my clients wanted to fuck a bruised up fun ghoul so I've been trying to sell my ass on the corner for the past three days. I still need 650 dollars to make up for what my mom took and tuitions fucking due on this coming Monday. everyone thats past me so far basically called me scum and walked off. It was starting to get late-ish it's like 7:30 so hopefully drunks from bars will start walking around and I can get their money. i had on my spiderweb outfit with a hot pink g string waiting for a buyer. I had to be careful and watch for cops since I didn't have any normal clothes on. Even if I did I think my makeup and heels would give it away. I had on a lot of glitter and eyeshadow along with bright pink lipstick to match my g string. My goal was to take attention away from the obvious bruises with as much make up as possible. I didn't even look like myself I looked more like a Jefrey star wannabe. I saw a couple guys walk by but they just wolf whistled at me not making any actual offers. Then I saw a guy with some black jeans a green day t shirt and a leather jacket. he walked closer and I saw he had a lot of eyeliner on and had his hair spiked up into some weird Mohawk type thing. He spotted me and glanced around really quick. He didn't seem to be drunk just like nervous. He he walked up to me and started talking. "Listen this is like a one time thing okay? How much do you take for the night?" i smiled at him and answered. "Depends on what you want big boy." I said hooking my hands into his belt loops. "listen I have 500 okay? Is that okay for a fuck or not enough?" He asked. For some reason his voice sounded really familiar but I don't remember ever meeting a dude with a Mohawk as weird as his that wore makeup. "Yea that's perfect come on." i said dragging him to the motel room I had rented. -------------------- "oh-oh my god pl-please don't st-stop." he begged as I began bobbing my head faster and tonguing his slit every time. "Mhmm baby you taste to good to stop but you're going to come before we even get a chance to fuck." "U-uh then j-just fuck me fuck me p-please." He said bucking his hips up at nothing. He's actually pretty hot and has a really nice body and a big dick. I kinda wish he was fucking me instead of me fucking him. Then I came up with an idea and just decided that I was going to ride him. I started lubing him up and he looked confused. "W-what are you-" he started asking out breath but stopped when I climbed on top of him. I was about to go down before I questioned him. "Are you clean?" He began nodding his head furiously. He seemed trustable so I slid down onto him eliciting an extremely loud moan. I began riding as hard and as fast as I could up and down his dick pleasuring myself by hitting my prostate each time making me feel like i was in heaven and by the way the guy under me was twitching wildly and moaning like he was the whore I'm guessing he felt the same. "So what's your name hot stuff?" I asked feeling like I was getting close I wanted him to finish first and dirty talking wasn't any fun unless you have a name. "G-ger-gerard." He said barley audible through his moaning. "Gerard huh? Well Gerard I bet you like me riding you huh? Watching me get all turned on and sweaty because of your big dick shoved up my ass. Uh your dicks so big baby it feels so good. I haven't had a dick as nice as yours in forever. It feels so good like I'm about to come. Help me out Gerard babe. Fuck me as hard as you can please it just feels so good." he just nodded and began thrusting up into me as hard as he could. It felt amazing and I ended up coming first. i screamed and came all over his stomach and onto some of his face. Seconds later he let out a deep throaty moan and I felt him release into me. --------------------- I was whipped but decided to go to school since it was Friday. The bell rang for first period and I had science so I had to see Mr. Way. I groaned and walked into the class plopping myself down in the back. I took a second to look up and oh my god. Mr. Way he looked.... Dead. Like he was upset and tired and like he really fucked up big time. He stood up and addressed the class after most of the kids showed up. He seriously looked torn. "Listen just do whatever till the bell rings just stay quiet okay?" We all nodded and he sat back down placing his head into his hands and sighing. What at the hell happened to him? ***** 8 ***** "Mikey no I'm not going." "you said if it hadn't healed in a week you'd go to the doctors now come on!" He argued "mikey I said no! My moms not there to sign for me and I'm a minor they aren't just gonna treat me if I don't have any proof of insurance" I lied. I didn't have proof if insurance but that's because I don't have any insurance. Surprisingly the school doesn't need you to have insurance. As long as your parent/s sign a paper saying that if you get hurt at school and you don't have your kid insured that the schools legally not responsible for the injury or medical expenses. "Frank my brother can sign and say he's watching you." Mikey replied still not giving up. "Mikey no!" I yelled walking into the bathroom and slamming the door shut. "Frank come on!" He pleaded knocking on the door. "My brother won't mind! Come on it's for your own good!" i sighed and finally gave in. "you can take me to get my forehead checked out but were only going to med express. No parents no brothers just us.walking there Then were coming back and acting like it never happened." I could almost hear mikey roll his eyes at me from behind the door. "fine. But only if you tell me how you got the gash in the first place and no bullshit." "Mikey's I told you I was drunk and fell into a shattered beer bottle my mom left laying around!" "First I know you wouldn't get drunk at home with your mom and only ever drink at my place & second how'd you only get one gash and no other scrapes or cuts if it was a shattered beer bottle and not just one piece of glass." "fuck you." ------------------- As we were walking home I tried to ignore Mikey's pissed mood and the four new stitches attached to my skin. Luckily the nurse I had was pretty lazy and just stiched me up and sent me home with the small fee of 30 dollars. So now I had 130 dollars due this Monday instead if 100 dollars and only one day to get it. I know for a fact none of my normal clients will even touch me with stiches in my face so looks like I'm spending my Sunday on the corners. ------------- "hey come on man I'm not that cheap!" I yelled at a potential buyer who only wanted to fuck me for twenty bucks because 'I wasn't that nice' according to him. "Suit yourself kid." He said and then walked away. I flipped him off and grumbled fuck you sliding back down the wall of a random bar I picked. "Tough brake huh?" I almost jumped all the way to my feet when I saw someone leaning against the entrance to the bad smoking a cigarette. I slowly looked up and my eyes grew about twenty times when I saw who it was. Mr. Way luckily I was wearing a lot of makeup again and didn't think he'd be able to recognize me. "How much do you charge?" He asked eyeing me up and down. I felt really uncomfortable considering what I was wearing. I didn't want to fuck a teacher who thought I was a slut already and hates me as far as Im concerned but I needed the money and maybe he could give it. Plus the money was for school anyway. I decided that I wasn't going to fuck him so I offered a ridiculous amout for someone on the corner. "ill fuck you for 900." I said rolling my eyes trying to show I wasn't interested. "Deal." ***** 9 ***** "Do you have a place or want to go to my house?" Mr. Way asked reaching into his pocket and counting through the money he had pulled out. He flashed me the 900 and said "I'm not lying I have the money so where do you wanna fuck?" "I- uh have a place follow me." I said walking towards the motel I frequented. I got a room and went inside. This was about to be extremely awkward but I had to do it for the amount of money he was offering. "So wants your name?" I tried asking seductively but sounded more nervous. "Gerard." He said grabbing my face and kissing me. I kissed back knowing I needed the money but a buzzer went off in my head. Gerard. Gerard? I had fucked a Gerard three days ago. It couldn't have been could it? "Gerard?" I said out loud giving a suspicious look. now that I think about it I thought the guy a few days ago looked familiar but why would Mr. Way or now Gerard go out wearing make up and spiking his hair? Or was he trying to not be recognizable? Maybe he knew he was looking for a hooker..... maybe I'm the reason he looked so torn up on Friday. He was probably upset with himself for fucking a prostitute. "yea is there a problem with my name?" He said grabbing me through my fishnets and underwear. I gasped but not at pleasure but instead because I was still in shock. "No Gerard's a hot name but I think we've met before." I smirked. He instantly backed up but of course he didn't remove his hand from my junk. "What do you mean?" "I mean I'm fun ghoul and we fucked Thursday night. I guess it wasn't a one time thing huh?" His eyes grew and his jaw instantly went slack. He began throwing his jacket on and grabbing the money. "It was a one time thing okay? I don't want my name thrown around anywhere got it?" I nodded and he shoved the money at my chest then walked out. Why'd he even give me the money? ------------------------ I ended up doing a threesome with some other random guys from the bar and raked in an extra 650. I was sore and tired from the three some so I decided I'd just ditch. Then I remembered we had a science test and Mr. Way still hated me even though we fucked. I mean he'd never know we fucked if I could help it. All he knew me as was frank iero the kid I saw fucking someone under the bleachers and getting into a random van after flashing himself. So yea he knew I was a slut but he didn't know I was a hooker or more specifically his hooker. i went into school by third period just for this stupid test. I took a seat in the back and studied Mr. Way for a while he didn't look broken like on Friday instead he just looked pissed. As class went on my thought about him being pissed was proved correct. He made me spit out my gum he took my headphones off me accused me of cheating and gave me a detention maybe fucking him would've just been easier. ***** 10 ***** "What!" Mr. Way barked at me when I walked I to his classroom. "Damn calm down I don't want to be here either." I said taking a seat in the back of the classroom. "What are you doing frank?" he asked me sounding very annoyed. "If I recall you gave me a detention this morning so I'm here now since I can't come any other day." I replied rolling my eyes. "God dammit why can't you come tomorrow?" He groaned. Because im being payed to be a stripper at a party tomorrow why? "just family stuff." "like what? You don't have siblings you don't play sports and your parents have never responded to any of my emails about you ever so why all of a sudden is there family bonding time?" He complained. "Parent. Asshole" I grumbled. his face faltered but not much. "Your file says you have a mom and a dad." He said sounding like a know it all. "Everyone has a mom and a dad." I spat and left it at that. I refused to speak to him the rest of detention and he just sat there and stared at me waiting for me to crack and tell him off for watching me. Of course with my luck my phone started ringing. I wasn't even going to argue with Mr. Way about it so I just answered. "Hello?" "is this fun ghoul?" shit I was hoping itd be mikey. "Yeah what's up." I tried to say as normally as possible. "Hey it's Ryan remember me?" "oh yea...Ryan How could I forget you." I said pinching the bridge of my nose and rubbing it. Of course it's the rough client who's the reason I even have stitches in the first place. "yea it's me baby. What's wrong you don't sound happy." even though Mr. Way was watching me I couldn't afford to blow this deal last time he paid me 800 but cost me some buisness because of the bruises he left. "No baby it fine. So what do you need?" "I really need a fuck wanna meet?" "when?" I glanced up and saw gerard watching me with a confused expression. "How about tonight at midnight." "really Ryan midnight? Babe can't we meet earlier please?"I asked hoping he'd say yes. "sorry baby no can do midnight or no deal" i didnt want gerard to hear the next part of the conversation so I whispered it. "How much do you have?" "how much do you want? I want the same thing as last time and I'm willing to pay as much as needed." I knew I was going out on a very shaky limb but if he'd give me what I asked for I wouldn't have to fuck anyone else for the rest of the month. "1,500?" "that's a big jump from 800 don't you think?" He questioned me. "Either that or no deal. Plus your going past my hours so deal or no deal babe?" "deal." Was all he said before hanging up. "shit." I groaned and slammed my head onto my desk. "what was that?" Gerard asked seriously. "A phone call dumb ass." I said not removing my head from the desk. "From who? You seem mad" "none of your buisness okay? Now can I leave my friends waiting for me outside." "Who's your friend?" Damn he was seriously in a mood because of last night "Why do you care?" "just curious. Now who is it." "Dick." I said flipping him off and leaving the room to go meet up with mikey who happened to be sleeping on the front steps of the building. At least I could hang out with him until midnight. ***** 11 ***** Me and mikey ended up going to his brothers apartment because he'd texted mikey and told him that he'd bought him cigarettes but he couldn't drop them off. "dude Marlboro reds fuck yes!" I said as I opened a pack and handed one to Mikey. "I know my brothers the best."he replied while handing me the lighter. I took it and inhaled the smoke then let it out already feeling my nerves about Ryan ease. "I seriously need to meet this angel if a brother you have like seriously man I should at least thank him for all the cigs and booze." I told mikey. "Speaking of booze...." mikey bent down and reached Into a cabinet under the sink pulling out two bottles of vodka and then going to the fridge and grabbing some pop to mix it with "let's drink. " By 11:00 me and mikey were pretty out of it. I wasn't really drunk because I needed to be at least somewhat sober around Ryan or else I was basically dead meat but I was still numb to everything around me at the moment. "My brother just texted me and he's on his way home he'll be here in like two minutes." He said. So I'd finally get to meet Mikey's brother tonight. Cool. The two minutes passed with me smoking and mikey watching something on his laptop. I heard the door click and didn't bother to look up because I was busy trying to figure out what youtube video mikey had playing. "Mikey I'm- what the fuck are you doing here?" My my head snapped to the side and I saw gerard. There is no fucking way. Way..... way? Mikey way... Mr. Way..... shit. "Mikey your brothers my science teacher!?" I yelled scaring mikey. "He is? Dude you said you taught freshman and that's it right gee?" "gee?" I asked mikey confused. "Yea gee. Gerard. Mr. Way my brother whatever the fuck you want to call him." Mikey replied totally calm. Of course I was the only one in the room who knew that I fucked him. and of course gerard already hated me in general. I glanced at the clock which read 11:23 shit I had to meet Ryan soon anyway. "Look ill see you at school alright mikes?" He he just nodded and I grabbed my backpack about to leave before gerard stopped me. "Hell no sit back down now." He ordered. "Listen I have to go." "Yea and I'd like to know why my brothers hanging out with a slut." "Excuse me?" Mikey chimed in. "Gee franks my best friend since freshman year and quit acting like a teacher your home now its weird. Oh and Frank is not a slut I can guarantee you that." "Excuse me mikey but I saw him-" "SHUT UP!" I yelled feeling like I was about to cry. "What now you have dignity? Or are you gonna lie again like about only having one parent?" "wait frank he knows?" Mikey questioned me seeming shocked that if tell anyone my mom was drug addict. "No mikey he doesn't know shit!" I yelled. "Why are you acting like this all of a sudden frank?" Gerard smirked "you don't want my brother who's apparently Your best friend to know that I caught you-" "SHUT UP!! SHUT THE HELL UP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs while stomping my foot scaring the shit out of both of the ways. "you don't anything! Just leave me the fuck alone and stay out of my personal business! I don't need anyone prying into my life so for all I care you can just fuck off! Why do even want to tell him what you saw? He's my only friend and you really want to take that away from me? Go ahead asshole I'm used to having my life stolen." I screeched and then flew out of the door. ------------------ all the cover up in the world wasn't going to hide what Ryan did to me. At least with my pay day from him I don't need to fuck anyone else this month. I do t even think I could fuck anyone if I tried. Ryan decided he wanted to try something 'exciting' I agreed and he ended up tying me to his bed and whipping and fucking me. He used every kind of sex toy imaginable on me and some hurt or were too big even for me. He ended up going on me for three rounds. It was hell but at least id got the money. All I had to do was be careful not to lean on chairs because of the painful welts from the whips id revived and try to keep my sweatshirt hood up all day to cover the welts now turning purple on my face. The ones on my face were disgusting to look at and hurt to touch. I can't really compare then to my back since I couldn't get a good look at them but I knew one thing. They all hurt like hell. Id managed to make it to lunch and through social studies but of course last period was science. I grabbed my shit and walked to class as the bell rang. I sat in the very back and yelped in pain when my back touched the seat. I slowly eased into a comfortable position and kept my head down all class trying not to cry because if the pain I was in. Towards the middle of class Gerard decided to be a prick again. "Mr. Iero no hoods in my class take it down." He ordered I shook my head and hissed from the welt in my neck burning. "Mr. Iero now or detention." I sighed and removed it keeping my head down. I heard the gasps and oh my gods from my classmates as soon as the hood dropped. "happy now?" I questioned pissed but didn't look up at him mainly because of my neck. ------------ "frank answer me!" "drop it and let me go home!" I yelled at him. "Not until I get an answer!" "what answer?!" "what answer? Hmm frank I don't know maybe why you left my apartment looking totally normal minus the stitches and now show up to school with a beaten face!" He yelled. "I'm leaving." I grunted and walked away. He grabbed the back of my jacket pinching some of my skin which caused me immense pain. I fell to the ground crying out and pain and actually crying. Then Mr. Way realizing my back was hurt too lifted up my shirt revealing all the welts and cuts from the three rounds of rough sex and a whip. "frank what happened." He asked sounding scared. "J-just let me l-leave." I begged trying to stop crying. "Frank what happened. It's one of the rules in my contract that if I ever see a student who I think is hurt or being abused that by law I have to report it. Now who did this and how'd it happen." "NO! You don't need to know and your not reporting it! You can't! And if you do I tell everyone you've been buying me and mikey booze and cigarettes and that you hit me!" "you wouldn't." He snapped back. "Try me." ***** 12 ***** Mikey: wanna come over? me: I guess but promise when I show up you'll drop it. mikey: drop what? me: you'll see. I'll be there in five. mikey: okay....I'll see you then. I grabbed a bag and filled it with clothes and cigarettes hoping mikey would let me crash at his place so I didn't have to face a high mom asking questions about what happened. I walked down and over a few streets. Before i hit Mikey's house. I knocked and within a couple seconds the door opened. Mikey's parents normally liked to go out on date nights a lot so I'm guessing they weren't home since I didn't see any cars. I walked in and threw off my jacket and Mikey's jaw dropped to the floor. I glared at him and he put his hands up in defeat. "Dropping it. I'm dropping it." I didn't respond instead I pulled out a cigarette and jumped on Mikey's couch. he walked over and tried to watch to tv but it didn't last long. "ok I can't drop it. What the fuck happened?" i sighed "mikey you promised" "yea well too bad. I'm getting an answer." He insisted "go ahead and try." Mikey just groaned and slid down on the couch into a slouching position. his house phone rang and he went to answer it."hey man what's up..........frank you want pizza?" He called out to me after a moment of silence." "Who are you talking to and yea veggie remember." I yelled back. he called back an okay and talked with whoever was on the phone for a while longer before coming back and going on his laptop. I didn't bother asking him anything else and decided to just focus on the tv and not how bad my back felt "Dude that's hot." He said turning his screen towards me. "God dammit man porn really? I didn't need to see that and know your watching it right while I'm next to you." "Don't deny that it's hot." "it's porn! Porn mikey. Fake sex." "what are you two talking about?" i screamed and and mikey slammed his laptop shut. "Goddammit gerard!" mikey screamed. after taking a second and putting everything that just happened together I calmed down. I sheepishly glanced at gerard and he frowned when he saw my face. "So pizza?" Mikey asked trying to brake the silent tension. "Actually I forgot I have a thing for honors society so thanks but I have to go." I said jumping up off the couch. "Frannnnnkkkkk." Mikey groaned annoyed that I had to leave. "Frank your not in honors society." Gerard said giving me a look. "gee what are you talking about?" Mikey asked "I have a list of everyone on it and I help with the service projects. Franks not on juniors honors society or I would know." He said. "Frank is that true?"mikey asked looking upset. Not really upset more like a why'd he lie to me face. "listen I really have to go so I'm just goi-" " dude seriously what the fucks going on? You've been super busy the weirdest hours ever lately and now your lying so you can leave constantly. Did I do something? Like did I make you not want be around me anymore?" "no mikey it's not you I swear it's-" "its whoever beat you?" Gerard asked. "it's just I've been busy lately." I replied through clenched teeth. "Dude either tell me where your going and why or else your staying here." "mikey I can't. I'm sorry." I said then fled through the door leaving my bag inside. i didn't want to deal with my mom like I said earlier so I just walked to a park and slept on one of the play sets walkways. --------------------- "frank?" I jumped at the sound of my name being spoken. "gerard? What the fuck man!" "what the fuck man yourself. Why'd you ditch last night and come to sleep at a park?" "why do you care, and how'd you even find me?" I asked pissed that out of all people Gerard found me and it had to only be like 6 in the morning. "it's on my walk to school y'know where I work?" He said. Smart ass. "and I kept hearing a buzzing noise and tried to find it I'm guessing it's your phone. It hasn't stopped ringing for like ten minutes."   I reached into my pocket and like he said someone was calling me. "hello?" "fun ghoul it's Ryan." "Hey?" "can we meet up tonight?" "I-I can't...." I replied shakily. One rule of being a hooker is to never turn down a client especially since they're normally fucked up and violent people. "And why not? I'll pay whatever you want even bump it up to 2000 this's time." "2000!" I yelled into the phone. "Yes two-thoooousssand." He said stretching it out. "Listen what do you want though?" I whispered. Gerard was still standing in front of me and he was staring at me looking deep in thought. "I wanted to try something new why?" i glanced at at gerard and covered my mouth before whispering into the phone. "Listeni still haven't healed from last-" "who is this?" Gerard asked ripping the phone off me. "Hey give it back!" I yelled but he held the phone out of my reach. "Tell me who it is!" "no!" "NOW FRANK!" His voice boomed. I looked at the phone and Saw Ryan had hung up. "you asshole he hung up! You owe me two thousand bucks you fucker!" I yelled and then did what I do best. I ran off. ***** 13 ***** I didn't go into school at all after my encounter with Gerard. Luckily before I walked off I ran back to Gerard and took my phone back. I walked around town for a while getting stared at because of my face. I basically ignored everyone and spent most of the day at Starbucks hidden away in the corner with a black coffee. I stayed hidden until two o'clock when school ended and then went on another walk. It was around three o'clock when I happened to make another encounter with Gerard. I was walking to the music store just cause I could when Gerard walked out. I was far enough away he didn't see me and I wanted to keep it that way so I went down an ally. *********rape****** i was in the ally looking out for Gerard when I felt someone slip hands around my waist. "I see you wanted to meet anyway huh fun ghoul." ryan. I turned around with wide eyes. "Ryan please don't. I'm not fun ghoul right now and I'm not for sale." I said trying to pry his hands off me. He bucked his hips up against my ass and despite my attempts to remove his hands he slid them under my belt and into my underwear. "Ryan please sto-" he wrapped an arm over my mouth and whispered in my ear. "You scream and this will be ten times worse." "W-what are you gonna d-do." "Were going to have sex" "no please don't-" I was cut off by a hit to my face. "unzip my pants" "Ryan pl-" "now!" He yelled and forcefully placed my hands on his crotch. I slowly unzipped his pants and he shoved them down for me because I was taking so long "suck." "Ryan please don't do this" I asked crying. he grabbed my head and shoved it into his crotch. I backed up my head and he shoved his dick into my mouth. I tried to pull away but he grabbed my head and forced me to deep throat him. He relentlessly fucked my mouth and I couldn't even get a full breath in. he pulled out of my mouth and dragged me to my feet. he roughly pulled down my pants and underwear and picked me up placing my back against the wall. he slammed into me hard and dry and I let out a blood curdling scream. "I said to stay quiet!" He yelled angrily and punched my face. I felt blood flowing into mouth and began to panic. I knew never to fight against these people but I did anyway. "RAPE!! RAPE!! PLEASE ANYONE!!!" I screamed. He packed another blow to my face this time causing the blood to come from my nose. "PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!!!! PLEASE IM BEING RAPED SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE HE'S RAPING ME!!!" I screamed "Hey get off him!" My my head snapped to the side where I saw no shit Gerard running down the alley twords us. "Shit!" Ryan grunted after releasing into me. He quickly pulled out and literally dropped me to the ground before running off past Gerard. Gerard didn't go after Ryan instead he ran straight to me. "Hey man are you o- frank? Oh my god frank!" i was in pain but i still moved away from Gerard to cover myself enough so that my junk wasn't in full view. "Frank we have to get you to a hospital." "N-no!" "What do you mean no! Frank you were just raped! He might have stds and blood is pouring from your nose and you still have welts all over your body. you need medical help!" "I said n-no I-I'm fine!" I said trying to pull my pants up. I got my underwear on and managed to get my pants up high enough on my hips for coverage but when I tired to stand up I fell back down and smacked my head. All i could hear was Gerard screaming for help and footsteps coming near us. I wasn't sure what was going on but I didn't care. All I knew was that I felt really tired so I shut my eyes. ***** 14 ***** Gees pov "Mikey he didn't want to go to a hospital!" I yelled "why the hell did you bring him to our house! Who cares if he didn't want to go he obviously needs to!" he yelled back "Mikey he was not going to go to a hospital I guarantee that even if I did take him as soon as he woke up he'd run. So don't yell at me!" "Dude when his face was all bruised he made me promise that I wouldn't make a deal out of it and he wouldn't let me take him to the doctors. I ended up having to drag his ass to med express for stitches." mikey said. Why didn't he want to get stitches? I'm scared of needles but if I needed stitches even I'd go to the doctors. "Mikes you don't think there's some bigger reason that he won't go do you?.....like does he....self harm or anything that he wouldn't want anyone to see if he went for a check up?" I asked hesitantly "No. He doesn't self harm I know that for sure trust me I've seen him naked before many times and never ever saw any marks on his body ever like not even a scratch." "I don't even want to know why you've seen him naked but can you think if anything else? Like mental illness or anything?"I questioned "no but I can't believe what just happened to him. Like did you see the guy that....touched him?" "no I ran straight to the victim not knowing it was frank I let the guy run which was a stupid move but at the moment I just wanted to make sure the person he hurt was still alive. I mean mikey this guy had to be like 40 maybe even 50 and he was raping someone obviously younger than him. I could tell that much just by glancing at him. Franks seventeen mikey. Do you think....you don't think that guy took his virginity do you?" I asked mikey worriedly. "oh my god." "what! Mikey are you joking right now!" I yelled at him. "no I'm not joking." He yelled back. "Franks never had a boyfriend I seriously doubt he's ever done it before....gee this is way bigger than him just getting touched. this guy fucking took his virginity! Oh my god frank." mikey mumbled grabbing the sides of his face. He bit his lip and I saw a tear fall down his cheek. "mikey?" "Why! Why would that guy do this to him! gee he doesn't deserve anything bad! He does nothing but schoolwork constantly to try and get a scholarship because I know he can't afford collage even if he won't admit it!" He cried. "His mom does nothing to help either! It's all frank! He always comes over here we never go to his house because of that bitch and frank always acts totally fine! All he does is make other people happy while he never does anything for himself!" He yelled at me more tears falling. "mikey what's wrong with his mom?" I asked not sure if I really wanted to hear the answer. "She's a drug addict gee. Frank hid it from me until the begining of this year when I showed up at his house to hang out and I walked in on him fighting his mom and trying to yank a needle out of her hand. The house was a mess. There was cocaine all over the floor and It reeked of weed and booze. It was horrible. When he finally got the needle out of her hand he shoved it down the garbage disposal and his mom yelled at him the whole time saying that he had no right to do that and that there wasn't anything bad in it. He finally looked up and noticed me and his face....he had been crying so hard. When he looked at me it made me want to die. I'd never seen him cry and he always seemed fine. he walked over to me looked me dead In the eye and straight up said 'you didn't just see that okay? We can hang out tomorrow but I have some homework to do bye mikey' and shut the door. the next day at school he was totally fine and when I asked what happened he just looked at me like what are you talking about nothing happened." He said. Mikey was now crying to hard and really couldn't speak anymore. His moms a drug addict? If she spends all her money on drugs how the hell does he pay for school? "Mikes what about his dad?" "h-he doesn't have one." mikey spoke between sobs "what do you mean he doesn't have one?" "I don't know frank never told me what happened to him he just always said he doesn't have a dad." "I'm going upstairs to check on frank okay? You calm down And then come up okay mikes?" "o-okay gee." ***** 15 ***** "Frank are you awake?" i groaned and rolled over trying to ignore the voice but shot up in pain when my nose hit a pillow. "Frank what's wrong." A worried gerard rushed out. "god damn my nose." I hissed "I'll go get you some ice don't move okay?" He said then went flying down the stairs. I could hear him talking to mikey and quickly realized that I was in Mikey's room. Whyd he he bring me here? I mean I figured he'd just drop me off at the hospital to be poked and prodded at while he thought he was being a hero. I heard some some more talking downstairs and stood up to go to the bathroom. I went and as I was washing my hands I looked into the mirror. I looked horrible. The welts on my face were now yellowish and fading but my nose was bruised and it looked like my stitches had been moved from being punched in the forehead. My jaw was once again bruised and when I opened my mouth there was still dried blood coating my teeth. i grabbed some mouthwash and rinsed out my mouth a few times before all of the blood was gone. I wet a paper towel and wiped my face to clear the blood off it but my nose hurt too much and I gave up. I looked down and saw blood stains on my pants and knew instantly where it came from. Out of all the people I've hooked up with none of them have ever slammed right into me dry. I can't imagine it'd even feel good to them I feel like it would hurt. I lifted up a portion of my shirt and frowned at the new bruises that would take a while to heal. Being careful of my nose I slid my shirt off and looked at my body in the mirror. It was disgusting. truly and utterly horrifying to look at. What made it worse was that I allowed it to happen to myself. I allowed myself to be used and touched while the people who used me were left unmarked leaving my body to take the damage. I looked in the mirror and noticed something. I was crying. I also noticed a figure standing in the door frame crying. It was gerard. I felt uncomfortable being around him after he just watched me get raped. I also felt like I was being a burden to him. Like he had to take care of me because of what happened. if he knew everything about me and my job he'd never let me do anything again he'd be watching over and waiting on me twenty four seven. but that wasn't going to happen. He hadn't taken me to the hospital and figured out that I didn't have insurance or that I was a walking tree of stds. mans he wasn't going to help me anymore than needed. He'd watched me till I woke up so that's all he could do for me. I was going to leave and handle this on my own. I turned to leave the bathroom and go past him but he pulled me into a hug being careful of my injuries. He just held me while I listened to him cry. "Frank I'm so sorry." "for what?" "frank....I....for what just happened to you. You didn't deserve to loose it like that or ever have to experience rape in the first place. I just can't understand why someone would do that to you." He said sadly. Loose it like that? what? Oh.....He thinks I lost my virginity to rape. Wait what? "Listen gerard I appreciate you bringing me here but I really should get going- " "where do you think your gonna go?" He asked me "home where else?" "frank I don't know if that's a good idea...." "what're you talking about- did mikey tell you! God dammit mikey!" I yelled running over to my shirt and jacket on the floor pulling them on quickly. "Frank clam down your not going anywhere" he said trying to soothe me. "Listen Mr. Way" I spat mocking him by calling him his title. "I don't know what mikey said but I'm fine my family's fine my home is fine and I'm leaving!" "frank stop it!" He screamed. "it's not safe!" "my whole goddamn life isn't safe! You can't take my life away from me and try to protect me from what's already happened so just forget you saw me in that alley way. Forget you saw me being sexually assaulted forget it. Forget everything and just leave me the fuck alone. tell mikey to do the same." "frank you don't really mean that just calm down." "I mean what I say. Just fuck off okay? I don't need you pitying me for being raped. I don't need your help or your brothers. Just go back to that teacher who thinks I'm a slut okay? Remember that gee? I didn't loose it to the rapist you saw me fucking that guy under the bleachers! So just go back to thinking I'm a slut and you might as well tell mikey now anyway since I really just don't give a fuck" I said and then left the place. ***** 16 ***** Despite all the aching in my body I walked as fast as I could to my house. I was able to make it without causing myself too much pain but stairs on my front porch were killer to get up. i walked in and the house was a mess but my mom wasn't home. There were needles, lighters , pills and some stuff on the table that looked like cocaine. I looked around and sighed at first but then an idea popped into my head. I quickly walked over to the front door and locked it. I then walked around and shit all the curtains and made sure there wasn't a door or window left unlocked. I was ashamed about what I was about to do but I didn't need gerard to see me do it since he'll probably try to come and take me back to his place anyway. Once i I was sure everything was locked and that you couldn't see into the living room I sat down in front of the table where my mom had left everything. i grabbed a band and tied it around my arm then picked up a needle that still had some of what looked like heroine in it. I placed it to the inside of my arm then injected it into my blood stream. At at first I wasn't sure why people say it makes you feel amazing but a few seconds later I felt amazing like I was flying. I looked around for more needles and found a few with stuff still in them. I injected all of them into myself too and god did I feel amazing. I didn't feel like a slutty prostiute I felt like I was on top of the world. I looked around and noticed there was a fair amount of what i thought was cocaine laying in the table. I ran upstairs not being able to feel the pain anymore and grabbed my school I'd and a dollar bill. I came back down stairs and began working the drug into lines. Then I grabbed the dollar bill and rolled it up. I lent down over the lines and stuck one end of the dollar up my nose. I took oil a huge breath and sucked one of the lines up in my first hit. I screamed and clutched my nose from the burning sensation but then cried out again as I felt the pain from it being hit. I'm guessing it's probably broken. After the the burning went away I started to feel twitchy. Then I began craving another line. I sucked it up and was almost scared to death when I heard someone yelling at me and banging on the door. I turned around a realized I had forgotten about the window on the front door. Gerard was standing there looking horrified and begging me to stop saying I was ruining my life. If only he knew. I turned around a sucked up the last of the third line and was about to start the forth and final when someone picked me up and dragged me away. Gerard threw me on the couch and climbed on top of me. He began yelling and screaming in my face about how I just threw my life away. I didn't listen to him and just stared at his face. When we fucked that one night I remember he was a really good kisser. With the drugs in me and all the worries and concerns pushed to the side I grabbed his face and kissed him. he tried to push me off him but I wouldn't let go. I shoved my tongue into his mouth and just continued kissing him. I moved off his mouth and moved down to his neck just below his jawline where I remembered he liked it from that night. "FRANK WHAT DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING STOP!" He yelled trying to shove me off. I placed my legs around his waist and pushed him so he was lying down and I was on top straddling him and in control. Even though I was much smaller I had muscle and was used to dealing with guys in bed an knew how to make them stay and do what I wanted. When he was busy yelling at me I shoved my hand down his pants and grabbed his dick. His yelling instantly stopped and was replaced with a nervous whisper. "F-frank what're you d-doing??" I smirked and then kissed his lips. "does it feel good?" "frank stop this isn't right it's the drugs in you. Stop before you do something you regret please." He begged. I removed my hand and his face showed a sign of relief but then I began bucking and grinding my hips as hard as I could down into his. he bit his lip and I felt him growing harder under me. "Frank stop!" He begged "geee I can feel you like it your already hard." "Franks stop!" He yelled again. "Stop please I'm begging you!" "but don't you like it? You obviously think it feels good." "no I don't now stop!" "but Gerard I know you like it I can literally feel your dick pressing into me and it's hard." "FRANK STOP IT FOR FUCKS SAKE!" He screamed and then somehow managed to push me off him. he stood up and ran out the door. ***** 17 ***** I woke up in an unfamiliar room. I tried to sit up but my head hurt way to much. I looked around and didn't recognize a single thing. Great did someone fucking kidnap me? actually I don't really remember what happened after gerard left. Man I fucked up big time. I did drugs and tried to fuck my teacher when I wasn't even fun ghoul. i groaned and rolled over onto my stomach not really giving a shit about my nose until I realized there was something on it. I sat up and pressed my hand to my nose. It had been wrapped up. "what the?" I heard a knock coming from somewhere infront me but I wasn't sure where. It was too dark to see anything so I'm guessing it's night. "frank are you awake?" "yea" I answered quietly. A door opened and gerard walked in. "God dammit the world must really hate me today." I sighed. "Frank we need to talk...." He trailed off awkwardly. "Yea like where the fuck am I and why." "frank your at my apartment because I didn't want to tell mikey what happened between us and because when I took you to the hospital they couldn't find your insurance or information anywhere." "you...you took me to a hospital?" "well yeah but- "why the fuck would you do that!" I yelled. "Because you fucking overdosed on heroine! I wasn't going to let you die!" He yelled back. I grumbled to myself and he just looked at me. He sat down on the bed next to me and reached across me to turn on the lamp beside it. "Frank we really need to talk." "We are." I replied rudely. "No frank like really talk. I mean I have some questions and I don't want you to lie to me." He said honestly. "what are you my therapist?" "can you stop acting like a bratty punk for more than five fucking seconds!" He screamed scaring the shit out of me. I nooded and he sighed. "okay 1-why didn't the hospital have any record of you? 2-why did you fucking throw yourself at me earlier? 3-why and where did you get those drugs? 4-did you know the guy that raped you?" i actually felt like I was going to cry. Gerard whether I wanted him to or not was the only person who actually cared enough to ask questions. Mikey would always drop subject whether I asked him to or not . "before I answer did the hospital check me or anything?..." "well yeah they took you in right away and ran some tests before they realized that they couldn't find any insurance or a file on you." "did they give you any test results?" I asked worriedly. "Yea...." "what were they? Please tell me nothing personal came out." I asked on the verge of tears. "Frank they just told me that you did overdose on heroine and that you had a minor concussion along with a broken nose....why is there something else your hiding?" He asked me skeptically. "no." I answered quickly. I could tell Gerard knew something was up but he changed the subject and brought up his questions again. "ok 1- I'm not sure maybe it got lost." I lied. "2- I don't know I was drugged up. 3- not telling you and 4- not saying a thing about that subject. I told you to forget it." "ok now how about you give me the real answers and not bullshit crap how's that sound?" He said getting mad. "Those are my final answers you don't like 'em to bad." "Why are you being so difficult!" He groaned "why do you care?" "because in all honesty it seems like no one else does. Is it such a bad thing that I'm worried about you?" "Yea it is." I replied. "I don't need or want people prying into my life I already told you that before. It'd be so much easier if you just fucked off and left me alone like most people." He rubbed his temples and looked at me. "alright fine ill fuck off. But the doctors told me your not allowed to go to school or watch tv for a week because of your concussion and I'm not letting you go home so you can get drugged up again. You're staying here at my place and your not leaving. You can do whatever the fuck you want as long as you don't brake anything got it?" "What makes you think I'm gonna stay?" I asked "if you leave I will call the cops frank remember that. Or I'll tell people you touched me by force got it?" He said seriously. i nodded and he smiled. "Good now get some sleep it's like 2 am." He left the room and I just laid there thinking. How did my life get so fucked up and why is he even being this kind to me? it's not like I'm special. ***** 18 ***** It had been a day since gerard brought me to his house. His house or really apartment is actually pretty big and fairly decent. He keeps most of it clean except one room. It looked like an art studio but when I tried to go into it he stopped me and told me that it was off limits. He had been 'fucking off' and staying away from me like I told him too so I decided to respect his one rule and stay out of the studio. I hadn't damaged or broken anything so that's good but I did do something gerard wouldn't like. My phone had been going crazy with client requests and even though I was fucked up I figured I might as well take all the money I can get now and let my clients do whatever they want to me since it'll take awhile for my body to heal. so yea I had two of my clients come to his place yesterday and fuck my brains out. By the time he came home from work at the school I had cleaned everything up and taken a shower so there was no evidence. Today was no different. I had one guy scheduled so far but I'm sure a second would appear. I heard the front door slam at six am indicating gerard was gone. i texted my client Keith who was actually the guy gerard caught me fucking at school and told him he could come over at eight. Plus even though I hated being a prositute it was pretty damn boring not being able to watch tv all day so at least it gave me something to do. I made myself some breakfast and then got Gerard's guest room set up. I made the bed and made sure nothing valuable was out that could be broken during my hook up with Keith. I changed into my favorite outfit. (The spider web one) and when I looked at the clock it was 7:56 so Keith would be here any second. There was a knock on the door and when I opened it Keith was there but god did he look different. Now instead of long blonde hair he had long black hair and he also has gotten a nose ring. "Looking good baby I like the hair." I said smirking up at him. "well you know what I like?" He asked. I shook my head and he stepped Into Gerard's apartment shutting the door and locking it. " I like your body but it's covered." He frowned. "I think we can fix that." I smirked and dragged him to the bedroom. ---------------- me and Keith fucked for two rounds then he told me he had to go. He payed me 450 and he gave me box of cigs. I wasn't wearing any clothes when I walked him to the door. I gave him him a hug and a long kiss that lasted until he was outside the apartment. I opened my eyes a moment after he pulled away and was met not with Keith's eyes but Gerard's. I screamed and and ran into the guest bedroom and slammed the door shut locking it. I looked at the clock it was only fucking 12:30!!! Why is he home already!? "FRANK!" His voice boomed from outside the door. "open this fucking door right now!" i panicked and threw on some clothes. I wasn't sure whether to open the door or not but that decision was made for me when he kicked the door in. i screamed but couldn't run anywhere. "Frank fucking iero care to explain who that was and WHY THE FUCK HE WAS IN MY HOUSE WITH YOU!?" Gerard screaming scared the shit out of me and I felt paralyzed. "w-why are y-you home?" I stammered out. "Half day now answer me iero!" He yelled walking closer to me and shoving me in the chest. "Tell me why he was here, who the fuck is he, and what the-" he paused mid sentence to look down at what he'd stepped on. Shit. He bent down and picked the item up swinging it infront of my face. "a condom frank?" He paused for a moment before he flew into another fit of rage. "YOU FUCKED SOMEONE IN MY HOUSE!" "Gerard calm down please!" I begged. "I swear to god iero I want an explanation now!" "I-I don't have one...." "bullshit!! You have one you just don't want to tell me!" He yelled. "Alright alright! I have one but I....I can't tell you!" I yelled my voice cracking as I began crying. "And why the hell not!?" He asked getting angrier. I fell to the floor and began crying obnoxiously. I was a wreck. I had just got caught and now gerard hates me and I couldn't control how much of a fucking failure I felt like. I felt gerard place a hand on my shoulder but I swatted it away. I just sat there and kept crying. Once my my eyes were dried out and all I could do was fucking dry heave I noticed gerard was looking at my phone.   "Hey!" I yelled. "You have twenty three unread texts and two are from mikey who are the other numbers frank?" He asked seriously. "I don't know...." I answered honestly. "God frank." Gerard sighed. "I don't even know what to do with you. You won't tell me what happened and when I question you you brake down into a sobbing mess. Like seriously frank what's such a big huge secret that you can't tell me?" I just stared at him. "Y'know what fuck it." He groaned and walked out of the door. ***** 19 ***** "Ya five hundred will do" I spoke into my cell phone that was almost dead. "Ya come by in about half an hour okay? ill be waiting for you." I said sexily and then hung up. I glanced at the clock seeing it was 9:00 am and that Gerard should be long gone by now. And I made sure today wasn't a half day. I began setting up the room again like I had yesterday and then decided I should get changed. By the time I'd finished my makeup I was just putting on my heels when there was a knock at the door. I ran to go get it but saw Gerard walking to it. "don't answer it!" I yelled. He looked over at me and his eyes almost popped out of his head. "f-frank? What the hell?!" "What are you doing here?!" I asked him frantically. "I stayed home so I could make sure you were okay after seeing you almost brake into a thousand pieces and I only had one class today anyways.....but what are you wearing?!" I blushed and looked down at my black pumps. I was about to speak when my client who today was named Cameron began knocking on the door. "Fun ghoul it's me open up!" He called   "fun ghoul? How do I know that name?" Gerard thought out loud. "Fuck Gerard please just give me five minutes with him." I pleaded. If I had to call off our fuck I'd rather do it without Gerard watching and then actually piece together what was going on. He made a go ahead motion but made no sign of leaving anytime soon. i opened the door and of course Cameron pulled me into a kiss right away. "God do you look hot." He smirked. He looked up and must've noticed Gerard who's face was probably shocked looking. "Baby am I getting a threesome?" He asked nodding towards gerard. "What no!" Gee yelled obviously hearing Cameron's question. "Then why are you here? Leave so we can get to business I've got five hundred dollars and I'm not leaving without anything." He said rudely to Gerard. "Whoa wait wait wait...five hundred dollars?" I turned so I was facing Gerard while Cameron slipped his arms around my waist. I probably looked like a ghost Because I could almost feel how cold my face got. "Frank....you're......you're selling yourself?" He asked finally figuring it out. He looked like he was actually sad when he said it but I want sure why I mean it had nothing to do with him at all besides the fact I already fucked him. "Fun ghoul? Wait...fun. Ghoul. Oh my god. Oh my god!" he yelled covering his mouth with his hands. "You're the kid that tried to fuck me right before I started teaching!" He yelled again. Wait what? I never tried to fuck him before did I? We fucked but I'm about 99.9% positive I never said fun ghoul the whole time we were together. "what no I didn't!" I said back praying that I could work my way out of this. "Yes you did! You just didn't know it because I had fucking red hair! Oh my god...I almost fucked a student! I almost fucked a seventeen year old student whose best friend is my brother!" I stood shocked. That guy with fire truck red hair was Gerard? Before I could think too long I felt hands pick me up. "Listen if we can't fuck here were leaving." Cameron said running out the door with me and down to his truck. i heard and saw Gerard running after us but he couldn't do anything besides bang on the truck windows while Cameron fucked me to pieces. ***** 20 ***** Once Cameron had finished fucking me he didn't make any move to let me go and we basically cuddled in the backseat of his car as a giant pile of bodies sweat and cum. Cameron wasn't exactly big so wasn't painful for me but all I could think about was having to confront Gerard since I was still living with him. i would normally try and run but I'm dressed like I'm ready fuck anyone who comes within five feet of me and all my stuffs at his place. "Wanna go for round two?" Cameron said breaking me out of my thoughts. "Got any more money?" I questioned. He frowned then at me "what if I tell you I can bring it over later?" "I don't believe you so sorry I don't fuck without money." I said. "Alright fine but can I get one last kiss?" He asked giving me a puppy dog face. I nodded and leaned in giving one last final kiss. I pulled away though when his hand reached down towards my crotch. "No cash no dick." I said smugly and then jumped out of the truck. I ran as fast as I could back up to the apartment getting a lot of stares since half of my corset was undone and my skirt was off because it took to much time to get back on and I wasn't about to try and stuff my junk into it in front of an apartment building with a bunch of people living there. so everyone in the building could clearly get a full view of my ass since I was only wearing a fucking cheetah g string and fish nets. I ran into the apartment which was normally unlocked anyway and ran straight into my room. I screamed when I saw Gerard waiting in there for me. "Gerard!" I yelled startling him. "God frank! We need to talk now but i'm giving you two seconds to get decent clothes on!" He yelled turning around and facing the wall so I could change. I quickly just threw a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants on over everything and kicked my heels off to the side. i awkwardly stood for a moment before speaking up. "uhm you can uh turn around now." he turned and frowned at me. "I'm just going to pretend I can't see your costume under your shirt. Now sit down." He said gesturing to the bed. "Are going to go all teacher on me because if you are-" "frank sit your ass down now." He said seriously through clenched teeth. I reluctantly sat down and stared at the floor while he stood in front of me. I felt nervous and began shaking my knee. Gerard kneeled down in front of me and put a comforting hand on it. "Hey calm down okay. Were going to talk and I'm going to try my best not to flip okay?" I nodded and just kept staring at the ground. I guess he realized I wasn't going to look up so he sat down on the floor in front of me. "ok well uh... I guess my first question is are you selling yourself?" I bit my lip and nodded. "oh frank." He whispered rubbing his head. He sounded sorry and hurt. "Uh okay question two how long?" "pass." I responded quietly. "Pass? Frank come on please open up. I won't tell anyone I promise I'm just- I'm trying to understand." "understand what? that I'm a fucked up kid who can only screw people?" I said harshly still not looking directly at him. "No frank. I'm just want to understand about what you're doing and why. So again how long?" "I said pass ask something else." I said trying to keep my voice level but failed. It cracked halfway through and knew I was going to cry soon. "Fine but were coming back to it. Okay uhm how many people have you...sold yourself too?" i sighed and felt the first few tears fall down my cheek. "Too many to count." Gerard was was silent for a moment. "Frank when did this start....or more so why?" "Fuck I don't know. My mom did drugs and spent all her money on that so I needed a way to get money for myself." "frank why prostitution?" I sobbed a few times before I could regain my thoughts and started talking. "Trust me I didn't want to but I needed the money and it presented itself" "what do you mean it presented itself?" He questioned. I finally looked at him and decided that I might as well not hold back now that we were already in so deep. "My mom was drugged out of her mind one night and I didn't feel safe. It was a school night but I ran anyway or at least I ran until she calmed down was my original plan." I said stopping to wipe my eyes. "It was creepy when I was out because it was so late so I hid in this little alley between two stores. Some guy came up to me and asked a few questions then offered me two thousand bucks and I couldn't say no. at first I wasn't really sure what he wanted from me until we ended up at his house and that's the night I became a prostitute..." again gerard was silent for a while."frank how old were you?" He asked and I noticed his eyes were tearing up. "Th-thirteen." ***** 21 ***** "Thirteen!! Oh my god frank" he said looking sad surprised and shocked. "How could you have not known what he wanted? I mean what were the questions you said he asked you?" Gerard questioned me. "I-I didn't know w-what they meant then." I whispered quietly. "Shh frank calm down just tell me what he asked." Gerard said soothingly. "H-he asked me if I w-was a virgin a-and I didn't know w-what that was." I said shakily. I stopped talking for a minute to calm myself down and to process my thoughts. I took a deep breath and continued talking this time less shaky. "I told him I wasn't sure and then he asked if anyone had every touched me below my belt. I said no and he just nodded at me. he asked me if I was a druggie or an alcoholic and i could figure out druggie just from the word drug in it but I didn't know what an alcoholic really was all I knew was that alcohol was in those little wipes I used if I ever got cut." "Frank why'd you go to his house?"gee questioned. "When I was in middle school I never really ever showed up because I was worried about my mom so I was never there the days when they separated the boys and girls and told us about drinking, drugs, sex, or rape. If I would've known I wouldn't have went. I used the money yea but what I had to do wasn't worth it." "Frankie?" He said using Mikey's nick name for me. "What'd he do to you?" I sighed "it wasn't bad enough that the sick fuck took my virginity but he didn't even really 'fuck' me he full out raped me except he gave me money." I said reliving the memory in my mind. I felt sick. "What do you mean." He asked in a quiet whisper like he was afraid of the answer. "He took me inside and to his basement. He had a table in the middle of it and the only other thing in the room was a big trunk. He locked the door leading to where we were and told me to undress down to my boxers and get on the table. I did and then he blindfolded me. I felt him wrapping stuff around me and it felt like metal. So he chained me to the table and then I felt him take my underwear off. After he took it off he removed my blindfold because he wanted to me to at least see my first time. I'm not even sure what the point of the blindfold was since he just took it off but I'm guessing it's because he didn't want me to freak while he chained me down to the table. I thought I was going to be fine and that it wouldn't hurt but he wanted to make it painful. He didn't even touch me with his dick until after he used all his fucking toys on me." I said starting to cry again. I glanced at Gerard and noticed he was on the verge of tears too. "He fucking did everything to me. Ball gag, dildos, vibrators, anal beads, whips, paddles, cock rings, penis plungers, flesh lights, everything. he even had some weird sticky pad things that shocked me whenever he put them on and he had clamps all over my body like fucking chip bag clips and they hurt so much. Even if I hated it because it was my first time when he actually fucked me and hit my prostate I almost came right then but he wouldn't take the cock ring off or the plunger out. He went on using me for almost four fucking rounds and never took them off then he went upstairs and left me chained to the table with a hard on I could do nothing about." I said having to stop because I felt like I was about to throw up. "And you know what ended up happening?" I questioned gerard. He glanced into my eyes looking scared. "What?" He said quietly "this guys fucking wife found me. She came downstairs for some random reason and saw a naked thirteen year old chained to a table. She freaked and I could hear her yelling at her husband then a door slam. He came downstairs shortly after and finally removed everything and let me cum. I thought I was done and I could have the money and go but I guess his wife just took everything she needed and left him. He was so pissed and blamed it on me. he beat the living shit out of me and left me barley able to move. He came down again the next day threw the money and my clothes at me and told me to get the fuck out so I did." i just stared at the ground while I cried not wanting to face Gerard. He stood up and sat on the bed next to me pulling me into his lap. he just sat there and held me while I cried and let me tell you that in that moment it was the safest that I've felt in years. ***** 22 ***** Once I finally calmed down and quit crying gerard spoke up. "Frankie you have to stop hurting yourself like this" he whispered into my hair since he was still holding me. "What?" "you can't keep getting hurt. After all you told me I'm guessing those days you came to school beaten and even whipped were because of....the people you-" "fucked?" I interjected rudely "meet with is what I was going to say but yes the people you fucked." He said awkwardly. "Gee I can't stop." I answered truthfully. "What? Frank what do you mean you can't stop?! Do you like being abused by these people?! They're sick frank!" "Stop yelling at me!" I screamed. "I can't stop because I need the money first off and these people can track me down. I'd rather be fucked for money then having them come after me and rape me!" I spat in his face. "What do you mean they can track you down? They can't really.....can they?" "It's happened before." I said sadly. "Even If don't mean to ignore customers if I don't respond they get mad and they will come after me. They come after me cause they get scared that I'm some cop or something or that I'll rat them out, so they track me down and hurt me as a warning not to piss them off again." Gerard didnt speak he just pulled me in closer to his chest and held me. I heard my phone buzz and sat up instantly. "You're not really going to answer a client right now are you?" I bit my lip in thought but I still caved and stood up off him to grab my phone. I returned to the bed and sat next to him this time laying my head on his shoulder while he wrapped an arm around me. "One text is from mikey." I told him. All the others were clients. "Frank does mikey know?" "no one does but you." I told him honestly. I mean really why would I tell people unless I wanted to be treated like shit. "I think we should tell him." "And I think we shouldn't." I shot back seriously. "no one else is ever going to know this about me except you, and I expect it to stay that way." "Frank he should know." he said trying to convince me. "No Gerard! I don't want him to okay!" I yelled in his face. "And why not?! Why do I have to be the only one who has to deal with this shit! It's not like I chose to find out!" He yelled back. "You know what. Your not the one dealing with any shit so I don't want to hear it! You didn't sell your virginity or your life away! You aren't a walking pile of Std's! You have a family and friends and a job that doesn't get you abused! do you really think I like my life!? I'd fucking kill to have a normal life like yours! I'd kill to have my virginity back so I could give it to someone special! I'd kill to have a mom or a dad there for me! And I'd really fucking kill to not have my life controlled by perverts like you!" I screamed right in his face. "Don't you dare call me a pervert I've done nothing but help you!" He yelled at me standing up. "Yea help me pay the bills!" I spat back. "What are you trying to say iero?" He asked through clenched teeth. "That day I came to school all whipped I was out working a corner that night and I had on a lot of makeup so no one could see the welts or else they wouldn't touch me. And you know what? I tried to hook up with some guy outside of a bar but he turned me down. Then someone told me 'tough brake' and asked how much I charged. That fucking person was you gerard! You fucked me for a ridiculous amount of money and then the next day at school you looked like shit! You knew you fucked a prositute and felt horrible about it. I felt happy. I had enough money for tutition and you didn't even recognize that it was me you hooked up with!" I looked at gerard whose eyes were basically popping out of his head in shock. "So really you did choose to get involved in my 'shit' the night you fucked me." I said staring right into his eyes. He just looked at me then ran out of the apartment. great. ***** 23 ***** It had been four days since gerard ran out after I told him we fucked and now it was Monday. Today I could go back to school and catch up on my work. I'm not I worried about my grades dropping because I always do my work and have all A's. I mean my goal is to get a free ride for collage. Gerard hasn't showed back up at all since our little argument and I don't blame him. I'm guessing he's staying with friends since he's not with mikey. I don't blame him I'd be pretty freaked out if our places were switched and I was the teacher instead of the prositute. I got dressed and ready for school just like any other day. I brushed my hair and teeth and left the apartment that's been housing me for a week. Im surprised gerard hasn't showed or even called once. I'm pretty sure he'd end up needing something from here eventually but I guess he doesn't want to face me. Too bad he'll have no choice at school. ------------------------ the first half the day went normally and I only saw gerard once so far. Well I guess he decided to show up. Our eyes met for a split second when we passed in the halls and he just looked guilty while im sure I just looked normal. I was bored in creative writing so I asked to go to the bathroom just so I could walk around. I also new the next two classes would be hell since it was double science. I walked into the bathroom and mikey was washing his hands. "hey man." I waved. He looked up and his eyes grew three times in size. He just gulped and ran out of the bathroom. I ran out after him and grabbed him by his shirt. "Mikey what's wrong? It's me frank." he looked around nervously and he sighed. "Will you please just leave me alone ok? I don't want to be seen with you." He said that straight to my face And felt my stomach drop. I was confused and hurt. "W-what?" He looked around once again and dragged me into an empty classroom shutting the door behind him. "Frank I don't want to be seen with you okay? I can't make it any clearer than that. Just stay away from me please." "Mikey why are you doing this? You're my only friend what did I do?" I asked starting to cry. Mikey is the only normal part of my life and if he goes then my life turns to 100% shit. "I'm not your only friend frank. I may be your only friend without benefits though." He said glaring at me looking mad and upset. Friends with benefits? Oh... "Wait....you...you know?" "yes I know gerard told me frank! I don't want to be friends with some hooker who fucks people behind my back!" He yelled. "mikey please don't say that please your my only friend I'm completely alone without you ." I pleaded with tears cascading down my face. "It's not like I told you to go become a hooker that was your decision and I'm not being friends with someone that dirty." He said seriously. "now I'm being straightforward and honest with you frank. I. Don't. Want. To. Be. Your. Friend. I don't want to be seen or associated with you and as far as I'm concerned we were never friends in the first place. Bye frank." He said and walked out. I fell to the floor shaking. my only friend the only normal piece of my life gone. All because his brother didn't keep his mouth shut. No. Y'know what it's my fault. If I wouldn't have let that slip then we'd be friends still. It's all my fault everything's my fault. I caused all of my pain and all of my problems myself. If I could eliminate myself then all my problems would stop. Eliminate myself. Eliminate my problems. Eliminate. Exterminate. Kill. If I kill myself everything will stop. And isn't that what I want? For everything to just stop. ***** 24 ***** So that's my decision. I'm going to end my life. I'm not scared or nervous I just really don't want to be here anymore. I wouldn't hand my life over to someone I hated because I wouldn't even want them to have to live through what I have. I can't end it all right now while I'm at school though so I'll have to wait. I didn't feel like going to science not just because it was a double class but because I didn't want to have to see gerard. Now that I knew he told mikey I was hurt. He ripped away all that was left of my life and had avoided me for four days staying god knows where. Im guessing he visited mikey and told him but I know he wouldn't stay with him especially if he told him we fucked each other. I'm not sure what he told him or how far into details he went but if I told my brother his best friend was a prositute and that I fucked him I wouldn't want to stay. Who would? I basically just sat out the first hour of science and cried in the empty classroom. I cried hard and long about everything. I thought about how I could've done so many things different and changed how my life turned out but There was really no point. What's done is done. I thought about a lot during that first hour of science but then a thought jumped into my mind. How am I going to kill myself? I mean I need a way to do it right? I know Im not going to kill myself at Gerard's and leave him to deal with that situation and I'm not going to kill myself at school. I don't want it to be be somewhere random like in the woods or anything. I want my body to be found. I came up with the idea that was best place to kill myself was at home. my mom would have to find me eventually and as soon as she does she'll have me buried and then that's it for me. Bye bye world love frank. Ok so I know my place but how am I going to do it. Hanging, pills, bleeding, gun shot. I think a gun shot would be the fastest and quickest way out and I know my mom a pistol stashed in her room I can get to. When I think about it it's kind of sad that I'm just planning my death down to the detail. I also realized that I don't want everyone to be sad when I go or think it was their fault. I already know and admitted that it was my own fault and it's my choice to die. No one pushed me to suicide I planned it. --------------- 2 days later I have everything set. I avoided school the last two days and wrote all the letters I needed and left them where they needed to be. I silently crept into my house and up to my room. I'm not sure where my mom was but I didn't want her to somehow stop me. I locked my door and pulled the gun out of my pocket. I sat down and placed the gun to my mouth. I heard a door slam downstairs and figured it was my mom. But then i realized it was two voices. I began to hear feet running all over the place and someone ended up at my door. "Frank!? Frank open up!" It was mikey. How did be even know I was here? He should be in school. It's only 1. I planned this! "Frank open this door now or I will bust it down." Gerard's voice sounded through my ears. "Oh my god gee what if were to late!?" Mikey said his voice cracking telling me he was crying. That bastard. If he cared he wouldn't have pushed me away and as far as i care he can go fuck himself. I felt bad though. I didn't want to kill myself right while they were there outside my bedroom door but all I could think of is how much of a fuck up I am. I began to cry and once again raised the gun to my mouth. I heard the door get kicked in and pulled the trigger but nothing happened. I looked at the gun and began hitting it off the ground "the fucking things jammed!!" I cried. "Oh my god" I heard mikey whisper. "Frank stop hitting the the gun. Listen to me you don't want to do this." He said calmly. The next second though nothing was calm. When I banged the gun again it fired. It shot itself straight threw my stomach. All I could hear was mikey and gerard screaming. Even though my stomach was killing me I pulled the trigger again aiming higher this time and naling myself in the chest. ***** 25 ***** I woke up in my worst nightmare. A hospital. I looked around and saw the room was empty. It was just a basic hospital room. I tried to sit up but felt something scratchy on my skin. I removed my gown and looked at my torso. It was all bruised and there were two patches of gauze over where the bullets had entered me. I pinched myself just to make sure. Yep I'm still alive. Fucking wonderful. i looked around and finally found the nurse call button. I pressed it and a few minutes later a tiny woman walked in. "Hello Mr. Iero." She smiled. "Can I get you anything?" "Yea get me out of here." I replied seriously. "Sorry no can do. You're still under observation until your wounds almost heal completely." "and how fucking long will that be?" I asked getting annoyed. This girl was a complete slut in hospital scrubs. "Well I'll check your charts and let you know okay? Oh and you have guests I'll send them in shortly." She smiled agian and left without even asking my opinion on seeing anyone. Like she said a few minutes later gerard and mikey walked in. "Hey frank..." Mikey waved awkwardly while gerard just looked at my bruised stomach. I sat and just stared at mikey. "hello? Frank you there?" He joked trying to make me laugh or smile I guess. "dude frank what the fuck?!" He asked agitated after another minute. "Mikey shut up he's not going to answer you!" Gerard snapped. "He's giving us the silent treatment for saving his life dumbass." Gerard seethed yea they really saved me. Saved me from peace. "He can't just not talk. I mean we need to talk." "Mikey give it a rest. I'm not dealing with this shit right now from you." Gerard scolded. Mikey shut up and sat down on the end of my bed. I leaned forward and kicked him in the side successfully nailing his ribs and knocking him off the bed. "What the fuck!" He yelled and then jumped on me. He slapped me and I answered by socking him in the side of the face. Gerard quickly pulled us apart and dragged mikey out of the room. He walked back in and was about to speak when the bimbo returned. "Well I looked at your charts, and you should be leaving within the next two- to-three days. Have a good day Mr. Iero." She again fucking smiled and walked out.   Once she left gerard walked over to the side of my bed near me. "I'm going to sit and if you kick me I will not hesitate to knock you out understood?" He said sternly using his teacher voice. I nodded and he sat. "I know your not going to talk and am probably extremley pissed but oh well. I'm just going to tell you what happened and then leave you to yourself if that's what he want." He said. "Okay so mikey was upset that you weren't at school and thought it was because of your little fight or whatever so the idiot got drunk and came to school hungover. He got sick and puked at lunch. He needed to leave because everyone thought he was sick. I didn't have any classes just a meeting after school so I took him home and the first thing we saw was an envelope on the kitchen table with Mikey's name on it. It was your suicide note. We ran to the apartment and you weren't there. I was actually shocked you left me a note too and after reading it we went to your house looking for you. Well we found you and your gun. After we tried to stop you, you ended up shooting yourself twice and now your at the hospital." He sighed."Frank they ran tests when you got here after your wounds got stiched and they found a lot of sexual diseases that need treated. They also found that your concussion got worse." He said and then pointed to a set of stiches I hadn't noticed. "That's your pacemaker. You fucked up something in your chest with the bullet and now it's going to control your hearts beating speed and I think that's it. So if you want me to leave I'll leave and if not speak." He finished. I was crying while trying to keep a straight face. he stood to leave but I stopped him. "Wait." I called my voice all scratchy. "Please just hold me." I asked with tears flowing down my face. He looked at me and sighed but still he came and sat next to me and wrapped his arms around me. "Don't worry everything's gonna be fine we just have to work through it." He said holding onto my shaking body. ***** 26 ***** *2 weeks later* "Frank I'm sorry I can't let you back in, it's just not safe for the other students!" My principle Mr. Cope sated firmly. "I'm not safe? You have got to be kidding me right? I mean look at all the other kids that go here! If I'm not safe to be here than at least half of the schools population isn't either!" I fought back. "Franklin I'm not trying to exclude or hurt you in any way it's just that after being able to get ahold of a gun and shoot yourself twice with no remorse I don't find you safe to be around the the other students and that's final!" I laughed "Oh I get it you think I'm a mad depressed sucidal freak who will bring a gun to school and shoot who made me feel this way? Well two things Mr. Cope. One the people who I tried to end it for don't even go to my school and they're like triple my age. And two ask around. I'm positive you'll find a lot more suicidal kids here that would love to bring a gun into school and just shoot their whole class." I sated smirking watching him under pressure. Truth is Mr. Cope is actually a pretty cool dude and he's not an old bum that does nothing all day. He actually socializes with the students and does actual work. He's only like 35-40ish by my guess and I'm leaning more twords 35. "Franklin I can't kick other students out because they've done nothing wrong." He said "WHAT DID I DO WRONG!?" I yelled slamming my hands on his desk. "FRANKIN!" He shouted strongly. "There is nothing I can do my mind is made up!" I wanted to cry. I placed my head into my hands and tried to calm myself down. I looked up with watery eyes and tried again. "Mr. Cope school is my last chance to get out of the shit I'm in. I need this because I need to get out of this town. Just please hear me out." I pleaded. "no franklin. You can gather your things from your locker and leave." He said not looking up from some file on his desk. No. I promised myself I wouldn't do this ever again but right now it was my only idea. I tried not to but I couldn't help it. I needed to stay in school. Reluctantly I stood up and walked around his desk to him. I took a breath and felt more confident. I spun his chair and plopped down in his lap. "Franklin what're you- a-ahh." His breath hitched when I ground down on him. "Nothing just trying to fix my position why am I bothering you?" I smirked and ground down again. "Franklin I don't- stop just please get off." He said trying to sound strict but I could tell he was really pleading me to get off of him. "Nah I just got comfortable." I said and then attached my mouth to his neck and began giving him kisses while I continued grinding. "Frank- ah please st-stop" he said trying to move me but I was glued. I kissed his mouth and basically slammed my tongue down his throat. He was shocked at first I could tell, but slowly he began to kiss back. While he wasn't paying attention I quickly undid his belt and stuck my hand down his pants grabbing his dick. He flinched at this and pulled away from the kiss. "Franklin go now." He ordered shoving me off him. "But sir your sooo hard." I smirked squeezing his dick. He gasped and was going to say something but I dropped to my knees and took him into my mouth. His hips instinctively bucked up and I began giving him one hell of a blowjob. After he was just sitting there moaning and quit complaining I removed myself and stood up "still want me to leave?" I smirked. He gave me a confused look and I could tell he was debating if this was a good idea or not but he caved and shook his head. "that's what I thought. Now about our little problem... Ill fuck you if you let me stay" I said biting my lip hoping he'd take the bait. He sat for a while silently but eventually spoke up. "If you promise not to tell anyone." I smiled and began stripping. once I was naked I climbed back ontop of him and ground down to get him back to being fully hard. I spit in my hand and slicked him up and then slowly went down on him. He was average size but really thick so I could feel the stretch. I began bouncing up and down and dirty talking him. I could tell he was close and just as I was about to cum myself the door to his office opened revealing Mr. Way. The chair was spun so Mr. Copes back was to the door but I on the other hand was facing him. He stared wide eyed and mouth open at the scene before him. He gave me a disappointed look and shook his head at me. He mouthed a 'we'll talk later' and walked out. I can't believe he saw me like this. This probably one of the worst moments in my life. Fucking my own god damn principle. Honestly I feel like one of those slutty girls who fuck teachers for no work. Yea I just hit a new low. ***** 27 ***** I walked home after school back to the apartment building. Yep I was still living with gerard since he refused to let me go home especially since I tried to kill myself. we didn't talk much but I knew he cared for me and having him see me like that after I promised him I wouldn't sell myself again made me feel like utter shit. I walked into the apartment slowly hoping he was still at a meeting or something. Nope of course not he was standing in the kitchen waiting for me. "Sit." He said seriously gesturing to the breakfast bar. I sat on one of stools and thanked god that there was a countertop of space between us. i just stared at my hands at first but I looked up to see gerard staring at me with his arms crossed. I locked eyes with him and then I felt about 100x more guilty. He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't even- I just I don't want to yell but-" "Do it. Yell at me. You have every right to be mad at me I fucked up. Literally." I cut in. he sighed and rested his elbows on the counter so now we were face to face. "just why did you do it?" He asked with his eyes closed awaiting the answer. "He was told me I wasn't allowed back because of what I did so basically it was my only idea. I climbed on top of him and asked him if I fucked him would he let me stay." I answered shyly. "And what did he say frank?" Gerard questioned raising his eyebrows. "As I long as I promised not to tell anyone. But I never expected anyone to walk in." I admitted feeling scared. Gerard has every right to blow up on me but he's holding back and I really don't feel like being yelled at. "Do you even realize how fucking lucky you are that it was me and not someone else? Frank what if it wasn't me and someone else saw how would you deal with that?" I knew he was trying to make me feel bad but I answered him honestly. "I'd probably fuck them in exchange for them keeping their mouths shut." "And you'd be okay with that!" He yelled at me. "I don't know how else to deal with shit okay! I'm a fucked up kid with no money, no friends, no life, no family I have no skills and all I know how to do is make people feel good." I said starting to cry. "Why would you go as low as fucking your principle? frank you could've had me talk to him I'm a fucking teacher for crying out loud!" "I'm sorry." "you should be." He said coldly. I couldn't deal with the guilt I was feeling I stood up and ran to my room. I slammed the door shut and slid down it. I just held my head in my knees and cried. I mean school wasn't even half way through. It was only October and I just wished I could skip over my junior and senior year. Nothing good ever happens at school anyway. I sit alone eat alone and just basically go by unnoticed. I mean gerard thinks me and mikey made up but our relationship has just gotten worse. I cant even think of anything to look forward too. I have another year of school left from being held back in middle school and Im older than everyone which irritates me because this could be my last year. i mean I love Halloween and yea it's my birthday but only Mikey knows that and I doubt we'll be friends by the end of the month. God I hate my life. There was a soft knock on the door. "frank come out." "No." I answered shakily "why not?" Gerard questioned trying to sound calm but I knew he was still mad. "Because if I can't die I'd rather be locked in here the rest of my life." ***** 28 ***** *4 days later* "Are you going to come out today?" Gerard asked through my still locked door. I didnt answer and instead just stayed lying still on my bed. "c'mon frank you haven't even eaten in four days please come out and come to school." He begged. "No." I groaned back "really your not even going to go into school after all your hard work?" He asked "You fucking cunt." I spat back at him. "alright alright I agree that was me being a bit of a dick but seriously frank you need to leave your room. At least go out today. And I'm making you go into school tomorrow." "No you're not." "Yes I am frank. Tomorrow's Friday just go in for the day okay? If you go tomorrow I'll let you stay home next week how's that sound?" He asked trying to make a deal. "Promise?" I questioned him. For some reason I had a feeling he really wouldn't let me stay home the whole week but in reality I knew I needed to leave my room and eat soon. "Yes I promise." "Ok fine I'll go into school tomorrow but I'm still not going to like it." I complained like a five year old. "Frank it's Friday how can you not like it?" He asked. Buckling from behind the door. "I have gym and you tomorrow for class that's why it sucks." I grumbled. "Okay I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that last part and leave for work. Try to go out today okay?" "Okay." "Alright bye frank I'll see you when I get home I may have a meeting but I'm not sure yet." He called before I heard the door to apartment open and then close. ------------------- i had been walking around town for about two hours now and decided to go to Starbucks. Gerard had been kind enough to loan me some money but told me that I needed to get a real job soon. I walked in and just got a plain black coffee and sat down at one of the window bar seats. I just poeple watched for a while and almost screamed when someone sat down next to me and realized who it was. Rick. Yea the rick who likes to whip and beat me. "Hey fun ghoul haven't seen you in a while. I know you haven't been ignoring me have you?" He asked gripping my upper thigh extremely hard. "n-no I haven't been avoiding you." "That's what I thought now wanna go back to my place." "N-no I-I can't." I said starting to stand up but he yanked me back down. "It wasn't a choice let's go." ***** 29 ***** I walked home shaking. I felt disgusting. Completely used and abused. Y'know how I said people could track me down and hurt me and how I had to explain that they could rape me to gerard? Well Rick did just that but worse. He had a friend come over too. So I got raped twice. My whole torso was covered in hickeys and my hips had handprint shaped bruises. I was able to cover everything pretty well with my hoodie but if my sleeves slipped up you could see the rope marks bruised into my skin from them tying me down. Im hoping gerard wouldn't see and If he did that he'd let it go since I went out. As i walked into the apartment not only was gerard there but so was mikey. "There you are." Gerard smiled at me "uhm hey I'm uh just gonna go get a shower." I said awkwardly. Gerard and mikey gave each other weird looks. Honestly I didn't give a shit about mikey anymore and didn't want him pretending to be concerned about me in front of gerard. "How come you won't hang out for a while?" Gerard asked. "We have pizza." 'Because I can still feel the cum drying on and in my ass' "uh okay I guess." I answered quietly. i sat down wincing at the feeling of the cum being moved as I sat on the couch across from mikey and next to gee. "So you and mikey doing anything after a school tomorrow since it's Friday?" Gerard asked innocently still thinking me and mikey made up. "Uh no I don't think so or uh at least not yet." I said earning a glare from mikey. I guess Gerard could sense the tension and told me to go shower. I tried to get clean but no matter how many times I washed myself I still felt dirty.   -------------------- of course my first day back at school had to be horrible. I went by unnoticed for the first half until lunch. Some asshole bumped into me and I spilled my whole lunch. I didn't even even put up a fight I just went and sat at a table by myself. I didn't even have my phone to keep me occupied because Gerard took it off me. So I just sat there thinking. I felt a little better better knowing earlier when I showed up to science that I made Gerard happy and I also felt bad asking for a ride home since I didn't want to walk incase someone found me but I couldn't tell him that. The bell rang and I walked to gym of course showing up late but at least that meant I got to change alone. I walked out and ran my laps then just stood in the corner hiding until the bell rang for class to end. It rang and then I went back to the locker room to change i showered slowly hoping for the locker room to be empty when I changed again but of course it wasn't. I reluctantly began changing and once I removed my shirt a group of boys started talking. "Woah quiet little iero got lucky." One boy called. "Holy shit he likes it rough too." Another one said. i reached down to grab my shirt but it wasn't there. I looked up and saw a boy holding it smirking at me. "Give me my shirt." I growled. "Nah I'm liking the show." He said smiling. A few more boys gathered around all of them smirking at me I did not like where this was going. ***** 30 ***** "Please just give me my shirt." I asked more shakily as the boys circled me around the row of lockers. There were three of them and one me. two I recognized and I'm pretty sure that there names were ray and bob but the other one I wasn't really sure of who he was. "Who knew little Frankie had a rough side." Bob smirked at me. "Why don't guys just give me my shirt and let me go?" I pleaded. the boy who had no name spoke up. "But it looks like you enjoy having fun and so do we." "Billie your not thinking what I'm thinking are you ?" Ray smirked. "You know it." He grinned I was roughly pinned down by ray and bob against the lockers while no name, well now named billie stepped forward. "so frank what do you think about having fun?" He asked running a hand up and down the center of my torso before latching a finger around the waistband of my shorts and boxers. "I think you should let me go because I don't think it'll be fun for me." I said getting more and more nervous. "Here well make it fun for you first then." He smiled "what do you-" I stopped talking when he pulled my last two articles of clothing off and dropped to his knees. He grabbed my cock and began rubbing it. I struggled to move away or kick him but I was held in place and bob put a hand over my mouth to block out my cries for when billie took me into his mouth. I screamed with no use until billie finally stopped blowing me. "Alright guys since he doesn't like this I think it's time for our fun." Bob and Ray turned me around so that my front was slammed against the lockers while my ass was right in front of billie. He didn't even use spit or anything and shoved right into me. I screamed at the top of my lungs praying for help and finally it seemed like god had answered me for once. I heard the locker room doors open and Gerard call out asking me if I was in here because he could ride me home. Where he was he couldn't see me yet but when billie pulled all the way out and rammed back in I let out an insanely loud scream and heard Gerard's footsteps running towards me. "What the-GET OFF HIM!" He yelled running over to the four of us. "Little Frankie's got a thing with the science teacher?" Ray questioned smugly. "Is he the one who gave you all those bruises?" My stomach dropped instantly and I could almost feel Gerard looking at each bruise and probably thinking I got them by choice instead of by rape. "I said get off him!" Gerard yelled out trying to shove billie but ray grabbed him. "What's wrong Mr. Way you want him all to yourself don't you?" Billie asked.   "W-what no!" He stuttered. "billie I think he's lying why don't we let him have frank?" Bob smirked. "Fine but I wanna watch" billie responded making me feel sick. I was pulled off the lockers and shoved down to my knees in front of Gerard. Bob let go of me and grabbed Gerard instead while billie held me down on my knees. "What do you guys think your doing?! I'm a teacher I'll have you all kicked out!" He yelled "well to answer your first question were going to watch frank suck you off and second why would you kick us out if we could just tell on you for having a thing for your student?" "Are you crazy! I don't have a thing for him and you just fucking raped him! Let us go!" He yelled at the boys with no impact what so ever. billie kicked me hard in the back slamming my face into Gerard's crotch. I was pulled back by billies hand in my hair and be told me to undo Gerard's pants. I looked up at Gerard who was staring at me with fear in his eyes waiting to see what id do. "Please don't make me I'll do anything else!" I begged with tears threatening to fall. "I don't want anything I'd rather see this. Now go!" He said slapping my head. I slowly reached up to Gerard's zipper and undid it along with his button. I pulled down his pants not wanting to remove his underwear. Billie did it for me instead. He ripped them down and shoved Gerard's member into my mouth. I heard Gerard's breath hitch and tried to pull off but billie kept my head in place until Gerard came in my mouth. ----------------- once the the boys let us go and ran off. I immediately ran to the toilets and began throwing up. I felt a hand on my back trying to calm me but I just flipped. "Get the fuck off me you sick bastard!" I screamed "frank I'm not sick it was rape!" Gerard yelled back and I could see his eyes watering. "And you liked it! You fucking liked it!" I cried. "No I didn't! I swear! Frank it was horrible! And I feel horrible!" He said his voice shaking "you fucking liar." I spat before shoving my way past him to my clothes. I put everything on and stormed out of the school. I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to go home or to Gerard's and honestly I felt like dying all over again. I didn't know what to do and just kept crying and walking until I passed a hospital downtown. I thought for a moment before walking inside. "Can I help you sir?" A kind looking lady at the desk asked. I thought for for a moment before speaking "I'm suicidal." Her eyes widened and she picked up the phone on her desk. "I need people to help me take someone to the mental ward. " she spoke into the phone quietly probably trying not to alarm me. Less than a minute later two doctors showed up and walked over towards me. The lady stood up and walked towards me. "Sweetie there just going to take you to a room to stay in after you get changed okay?" She asked calmly. I nodded. "You don't have to have to act calm I know I'm going to the mental ward with all the psychopaths that want to kill themselves too." She seemed shocked at my words but before she said anything the two men grabbed my arms and began walking me to my room, but only after they had me change into a plain white hospital gown.   I know I need help, but I just really hope this works because if not then I've got no ideas left. I mean this is literally my last shot. ***** 31 ***** "So frank it's noon and so far we've made zero progress" my doctor while I'm here, Dr. Nesser said becoming irritated and beginning to tap her pen on the clipboard she held. "Is there something holding you back like family?" She questioned. "Nope don't have a family." "What about your mom?" She asked raising her eyebrows. "Probably in jail." I answered truthfully. I haven't seen my mom in a while she wasn't home when I shot myself so it's been what like a month maybe? "dad?" "never met him." "Girlfriend?" Now that one I laughed at. "Haha yea right." "Boyfriend?" She asked. instead of laughing at that one I thought. I guess I have a lot of 'lovers' but no boyfriends. Mikey and me were bestfriends well before he found out at least, and that only leaves gerard... i never actually questioned my relationship with gerard it was either he was my teacher or one of my clients. And not until recently my rapist. I don't know really. I mean should I be mad at gerard? He was forced by bob billie and ray but he's a fucking teacher. He could've easily overpowered all of them if he really tried. He was always kind to me unless I gave him a reason to be mad and I'd always admired that he even showed an ounce of care towards me, but that doesn't mean I like him, let alone make us boyfriends. "Frank?" Dr. Nesser said braking me out of my thoughts. "You alright there?" "Nope no boyfriends either." I answered completely disregarding her last question. "Okay then..uhm" she hummed running her finger down the checklist on her clipboard. "Do you ever have mood swings?" "What like a girl on her period?" I asked somewhat rudely, but Dr. Nesser's face was priceless. "Yes I guess you could say that." "Yea I guess I mean sometimes I'm wild I guess but most of the time I'm just quiet." I said thinking back to how I act in school and then how I act out of it specifically around clients. "Okay then uhm let me see..." She said looking back over the list again. "have you ever self harmed?" She asking giving me sympathetic look. " if shooting yourself counts then yea but other than that no." Her eyes widened and her jaw went somewhat slack at my reply. "Y-you shot yourself?" "Yea twice, why wanna see?" I said beginning to pull up my gown. "No frank I'm fine thank you, you can put your gown down." She responded scratching her neck awkwardly. "Okay so since you seem to be a very straightforward guy I'm going to ask you a very straight forward question okay?" I nodded at her. "Why are you suicidal?" About a million thoughts and possible answers began racing through my head and I felt overwhelmed just by her one simple question. "I guess because I hate my life and I let myself turn to utter trash." Is what I came up with out of all those thoughts and answers. "What do you mean by utter trash?" she said tapping her pen again. God that's annoying. "Can you please put the fucking clipboard down and just listen and talk to me instead of writing down useless notes?" I said pretty rude but it worked. She set the clipboard down and looked at me. "I'm all ears." --------------------------- I sat there watching Dr. Nesser as she took in all I said. she looked confused more than anything. She told me that there was a group meeting after dinner she wanted me to attend and that she'd see me then. After she left I just laid there in my hospital gown. i decided after twenty minutes of just sitting there on the office couch that I should probably go back to my room, which I was extremely grateful for because it's a single, since I'm on suicide watch. I wondered down the halls back to my room and found another man there. "Hello frank!" He chirped happily. "Who are you?" I asked trying to seem tough but it came out more like me, small and fragile. "I'm a therapist-" "what about Dr. Nesser?" I interjected "as I was saying." He continued, giving me a look of irritation. "I'm a therapist here at the hospital for all those in the mental ward. My names Dr. Chase and your probably not going to see me a lot but I make and effort to meet everyone." "Uh okay hi?" I said having it come out as more of a question than as a statement. "I'm also here because I need to know a number so I can contact someone and let them know where you are and how you are. So have a number for me?" Dr. Chase asked. For a moment I thought about giving him Mikey's number since it's the only one I know by heart but decided against it. "Nope sorry." ***** 32 ***** "Pleaseeeeeeee!!!" I begged giving Jami-Dr. Nesser puppy dog eyes. I had been here at the ward for about a week and was bored to death. I was actually proud to say that me and Dr. Nesser (Jamia now that we'd gotten closer) have formed a close bond and that she's a true friend to me. "no frank!" I'm not allowed to go on the internet while I'm here and I've been begging Jamia to let me see her phone for almost an hour but she wouldn't budge. i feel to the floor and began groaning obnoxiously to annoy her. "frank stop it you sound like your dying." She giggled. "I can't fucking die I'm immortal you know that!" I pouted. "Well Mr. Immortal you're still on suicide watch so no internet." She said moving her phone off her desk and into a pocket. "Why am I on suicide watch? You said only half of me was suicidal." I questioned. "Frank we've been over this your bi-polar not schizophrenic and the other you I'm referring to is when your bi-polar disorder causes you to go through depressed mood swings." She said for the twentieth time this week. "Oh yea." I responded. "Hey how come I never noticed any mood swings before? Or like no one else around me ever noticed them?" "You're not severely bi-polar and your mood doesn't change that often but when it does it's bad. So it's either your completley normal or your extremley depressed." I nodded showing her I understood. I looked at the clock and saw out session was over and it was now 'quiet time' "Jamia please tell me I can stay in your office instead if out to the lounge with everyone?" "Do you deserve too?" She asked raising her eyebrows at me. I nodded and she laughed. "Okay you can stay with me but only because your funny." --------------- "I'm running to the bathroom okay I'll be right back." Jamia said standing up and walking out of the room. I glanced at the chair she was sitting in and realized that she'd left her jacket in the room with me. I ran over to it and reached inside the pockets until I found her phone. Bingo! and she doesn't have it locked! I'm guessing that has something to do with it being a work phone but whatever I'm just happy to have connections to the outside world. I quickly went onto my Facebook and was shocked at all notifactions. All of them were about me missing and a number to contact with any information. I instantly recognized Mikey's number but I didn't know whose number the other one was. I had had a bunch of messages from mikey asking where I was and if I was okay. Fucking two faced bastard. I also had some messages from a private account. I never used my favebook and had like ten followers but now that I was 'missing' I had a lot of new requests. One caught my eye. G. Way wants to be your friend. ***** 33 ***** If I accept the friend request it will at least let gerard know I'm still alive. If I don't he'll just keep looking for me. I stared down at the screen in my hands not sure what to do. Accept or ignore? But do I want him to know I'm still alive? i wasn't sure which option was the best but before I could do anything Jamia came back in the room and yelled at me. She ripped the phone right out of my hand and sent me off to my room for the night I know Jamia's my doctor before my friend, but right now I wish she was my friend first instead. I laid in my bed with my head in my hands and just cried myself to sleep. ------------- "frank wake up" I opened up my eyes to see Jamia standing over me. I sat up so I was leaning up against the head board of my bed and so that I was facing her. "yea?" I asked still sleepy. "Frank I saw your Facebook account when I took my phone back and I saw all those people looking for you. I know for a fact that Dr. Chase asked you for a contact number so why didn't you give him one instead of making everyone worry?" she asked seeming fairly confused. "Honestly I didn't think anyone would look for me." I answered. "now why would you think that?" She asked "because I'm a low life piece of shit." I said truthfully. "Frank I know you were a prostiute in the past and I don't know your whole personal life but it's the past." Jamia gave me a small smile "and they are looking for you." I could tell by the way she was talking like everything was perfect that something was off. Then it hit me. "You didn't." I said glaring at her. "Didn't what?" She asked trying to fake confusion. "You contacted the people from face book!" "Frank I-" "didn't you!?" I asked again getting angrier each second. "Yes I did....is something wron-" "why would you do that!?" I yelled. I didn't want mikey or gee to know where I was- Wait a minute.... "what number did you contact?" "I contacted a guy named Michael? Or mike? Something like that. Why?" She asked. "What did you tell him?" I asked completly blowing off her question. "I told him where you were and when visiting hours were." She said looking at me. "And?" "He said he'd be here as soon as possible." i nodded letting her words sink in. I guess she could tell I wanted to be alone because she stood up and told me she was going to get my medicine. I wasnt ready to confront gerard since I'm positive that he'll come with mikey. Im not even sure whether or not to forgive him yet. I mean we were both forced but he's a fucking teacher! He could've stopped it! Right? plus he probably told mikey what happened too. I wasn't ready for this. Theres was a knock on my door and Jamia walked back in with my medicine. I took it and just as she was about to leave I called out. "Uh Jamia when are the people you called coming?" "well visiting hours are 12-4 today and it's 10 so you still have two hours before anyone shows." She said. "Oh frank before I forget- since your still on suicide watch you'll either have to have me supervise your visit or have your visit at a viewing table with a glass window like in jail..not to freak you out or anything but." "I'll take the jail set up no offense." I said to jamia. "none taken." She smiled. "Well I'm gonna go get a a window set up for you so why don't you eat something before anyone shows." I nodded and then she left. I'm not ready for this meeting at all. honestly I'm terrified. ***** 34 ***** "Frank they're here." Jamia said knocking lightly on my door. "I don't want to go." "Okay well either go see them or you can go spend your day in quiet time with everyone else." She said raising her eyebrows. "Now which one do you want?" "Fine I'm going, but can't I put on my own clothes instead of a hospital gown just for the meeting?" I asked. "Frank your on suicide watch do you really think that I'm going to give you clothes that you could use to harm yourself?" "Ill end up killing myself with my hands if I have too." I mumbled to myself as I walked out of my room and down the hall. "Excuse me?" "What?" I groaned back at her "What did you say?" Jamia said seriously. Right now i wished I would've just kept my mouth shut. "Nothing I didn't say anything!" I said over dramatically as I sat down in front of the window. I felt a hand wrap around my wrist and Jamia ripped me out of my seat before I even had a chance to look at mikey or gerard. she stood me up and began whisper yelling in my face. "What. Did. You. Just. Say." "Nothing!" I yelled again. "Bullshit frank! Tell me now or I will leave you in your room all day and lock it" "I said ill end up killing myself with my hands if I have to..." I admitted quietly, "was that a true statement?" She asked staring straight into my eyes. "Jamia really right now? Can't they hear us?" I asked quietly nodding backwards toward where the window was. "yes they can hear us 100% now answer me. Was what you said a threat to yourself?" "No it was just an over reaction!" I said hoping she'd believe me. "Alright I'll let you talk now but I'll be back to give you pills for your little mood swing soon." She said sternly and then left. I slowly turned around to see both gerard and mikey staring at me. I sat down on the stool in front of the window. "Hi." "Really all you have to say is hi right now?! Do you realize how worried we've been!" Mikey yelled. Him yelling struck a nerve inside me. "You're a fucking two faced cunt! do you really want me to believe that your my friend?" "What are you talking about?" Gerard said jumping into the conversation. I remained silent and just glared at mikey. "Nothing gee." Mikey replied sternly. "mikes why don't you give me and frank a minute to talk?" Gee suggested "why?" Mikey complained rudely. "Because there's obvious tension between you two and I need to talk and be straightforward without you distracting him." "Gee-" "go mikey." Gerard snapped. Mikey huffed but stood up and left the window room. "Frank why are you here? Or like how did you even get here?" Gerard asked sounding sincerely worried. "I walked into the hospital and told them I was suicidal and they brought me here and diagnosed me and stuff." I said not really sure what he wanted me to say as my answer. "diagnosed you?" "Yea I'm bi-polar." "Well now that they know can't you leave?" He asked "No not really." "Why not?" "Because I'm on suicide watch." I said sadly. gerard nodded at me and then sighed. "You know we need to talk about....well..." "you fucking forcing yourself on me?" I said finishing his sentence. He slammed his fist on the counter and spat at me. "I didn't fucking force myself on you! I. Was. Forced!" "You're a fucking teacher gerard! I've had so much time to think through how you could've completely stopped what happened. You had the upper hand and -" "frank there wasn't-" "no gerard I don't want some bullshit excuse you know just as well as I do that you could've stopped it." I said. "Frank-" "no! excuses are not what I want!" I yelled. "Then what do you want!?" He yelled back "honestly I want to die!" I screamed. Gerard looked shocked at what I had just said. He didn't have time to reply though before Jamia walked in and sent me to my room along with pills and locked my door. I knew that they wouldn't completley leave me alone during the meeting but of course I had to let that damn sentence slip and now I'm going to be watched 24/ 7 until 'I change back' to normal. Right now I don't really see one negative thing about death, and I can't really see one positive thing about life. ***** 35 ***** *3 weeks later* "frank are you going to come out of your room?" "No Jamia I'm not leaving to go talk with them I don't care how long they wait for me it's not gonna do anything." I said more rudely than I had planned. "Frank today it's only one of them and really come on, they've been here every damn day to try and talk with you." Jamia said "ya and them talking to me only got me into trouble in the first place." I argued "frank they did not put those words in your mouth. It was you're own fault that you said them and ignoring the problem isn't going to fix anything." "Really because right now it's working for me." I said my voice echoing through out my room. Jamia just shook her head at me while I stared her down. "Okay you don't want to leave I'll bring them to you." She said and then left. She wasn't serious was she? She can't bring people into the ward isn't that like against the rules? and who in their right mind would want to come inside here anyway. Most of the people in here are complete freaks first off, not that I have any room to talk, but even the people here with multiple personalities scare the shit out of me after I've been around them for a month Before I got to deep in thought about the rules Gerard walked into my room. I stood up and tried to run but Jamia shut the door. Fucking mental ward doors that lock from the outside. I slowly backed over to my bed and watched Gerard in fear as he looked around the white room. "this place is freaky." He whispered "That's why the freaks live here. We like it." I replied sarcastically he sighed and took a step towards the bed then sat down on it on the end away from me. I had the urge to kick him like I kicked Mikey when I was in the hospital for shooting myself, but I held back knowing Jamia was watching me somehow. "Frank you're not a freak." He stated. "I don't know I've been told I'm a freak a lot." "Frank the people that told you that were filthy old perverts and-" "don't be a hypocrite you were one too!" I snapped. Gerard's eyes narrowed at me in anger and I instantly shut up. "I still don't know how to make you forgive me about what happened. Billie bob and ray are long gone now after me giving them so many detentions, and as soon as they mentioned your name to the principle to fight back he flipped and kicked them out. I guess he's still on edge about where you are or if you told anyone what happened between you two." he looked at me like he was waiting for an answer or some kind of response but I remained silent. "Look I don't know when you're going to get out of this place but I need to know that when you do everything's done and over with. No more selling yourself. No more suicide attempts. No more fights. Just all of it done and over with. In the past way way way behind us okay?" He asked. I nodded and saw a small smile creep onto his face for split second but it quickly left. "I also need to know everything is okay between you and mikey..."   "No I'm not forgiving him." I said sternly "Why? What did he do that was so horrible? He said he didn't want to be your friend anymore but only because he was shocked. It's not like he turned all your friends against you or something." "he couldn't of even if he tried." I laughed to myself. "What do you-" "I don't have any friends Gerard." I stated bluntly. "Mikey was my entire life. He was the only normal part about me and being around him made me feel like I wasn't in some fucked up dream. Once he was gone so was the only thing that wasn't disgusting about myself." "Frank you're not disgusting!" Gerard argued. "I'm a fucking hooker god dammit!" I yelled. "I'm a dirty disgusting human and even the people who used me are higher up on the non disgusting chart!" "frank that's not true!" He shouted. "well I'm certainly not fucking better than you Mr. Perfect!" I cried with tears now falling off my face. "I'm not fucking prefect." He said seriously. "Really how so?!" I asked rudely "what perfect person has a fucking crush on his student!" he yelled and then left as soon as Jamia unlocked the door for him. ***** 36 ***** A crush. On me? He can't have a crush on me. Maybe he was talking about someone else...no, then why would he tell me? if he liked some other kid why would I care, and why would he want to tell me anyways. he definetly meant he had a crush on me. That's probably why he came here everyday to try and talk to me, but yet I ignored him. What does he even see in me? Im a whore. I literally met him while fucking some other random guy under the bleachers at lunch, and he gave me a detention right after for my mouth. I was best friends with his baby brother for years and never met him once. I only knew him as the guy who bought me and mikey booze and cigarettes which I really need to get a hold of. I've been craving a cigarette since I got here and it's driving me crazy. i need to talk to him about this obviously but the problem is what if he doesn't come back to the ward. I never thought of gerard like a boyfriend but when I think about it he's the closest thing to a boyfriend I've ever had. I live with him (well besides the ward) and we both care for each other. He's protected me at school a few times from other people besides billie ray and bob, and we've already fucked. i actually think id enjoy having a boyfriend. I think it would be good since then I'd be tied down to one person and not fucking five a night without feeling regret. I'd never cheat on anyone if I was in a relationship. I'd never want anyone to feel like they've been betrayed because even though I've never dated anyone I know the feeling of betrayal and it sucks. "Frank are you okay?" "Huh?" I said looking up. "Oh hey Jamia yeah I'm fine." I replied going back to staring at the ceiling. "Something interesting up there?" She laughed as she came over to lay on my bed with me. "Yeah just all my thoughts why?" i joked. "I wish I could see your thoughts on the ceiling. I think it'd be cool and it would make my job a hell of a lot easier." "Jamia shut up." I laughed playfully hitting her arm. "Trust me you probably don't want to know what goes through the heads of most of your patients. You'd be scarred for life." "Yea but if I knew everything I'd be able to help out more." "You already do help, or help me at least. You're my only friend and you have no idea how much it means to me that you're in my life. Seriously thank you so much." "Hey man I'm glad you're in my life too but it sounds to me like you've got a love interest." She smirked "You heard our conversation didn't you?" I asked referring to mine and Gerard's. "Yea I did." She admitted. "So what are you gonna do? Do you like him?" I sighed. "Honestly I don't know. I'd like having a relationship and shit, but I wanna talk to him first. I'd never thought of him y'know...like that before he brought it up." "Okay so talk to him." Wow no shit Jamia. "Yea but what if he doesn't come back because he didn't mean to let it slip that he liked me. I'd have to wait till I get out of here." I groaned. "I'm sure he'll come back, and frank you get out of here as soon as you prove it to us here that you're ready and aren't going to harm yourself anymore." "Jamia you already know I'm fine!" I yelled getting angry. "Why can't you let me leave!?" "Frank calm down!" She said sternly. "I don't make the decision and you sitting there during group meetings telling all the other doctors to fuck off isn't helping you out get out any faster." "You're right." I said giving in. ---------------------- "get away!" I yelled slapping this random guy who wouldn't stop following me. he hissed at me and kept following. "Seriously this is your last chance get the fuck away now before I hurt you." I spat through clenched teeth. This time he barked at me. Okay this fucker is annoying. I set my tray of food down and decked him in the face. He screamed and ran away making a big scene. I looked around to check if any doctors had seen me, but who I saw watching me I wasn't expecting. There was mikey with Jamia just walking into the recreation room. Jamia was scowling at me looking disappointed while mikey looked scared shitless. This should be fun. ***** 37 ***** "Frank we've talked about this! Just because someone is near you or making noises at you doesn't give you the right to yell at or punch them! They're just trying to get to know you!" Jamia repeated to me again for the sixth time this month. "Now come on were going to your room." She ordered "Can't we go to the window room?" I asked glancing at mikey trying to give Jamia the hint. "No we can't. Now go." She said pointing towards the general direction of my room. Mikey followed me down the hall silently. He didn't look very comfortable, and then I realized that Jamia wasn't following. I stopped and motioned for her to walk but she just shook her head. "I'll be outside your door now go and talk to your guest." I looked back at mikey and he was just staring at the floor. I led him into my room and we both sat on my bed. "Alright let's get this over with. What the fuck do you want." I asked slightly irritated. No scratch that very irritated "Uh-well I actually wanted to talk to you about gee..." That caught my interest so I responded back. "What about him?" Mikey gave me a sad look "Frank he's gone crazy. All he keeps telling me is how stupid he is for letting it slip that he likes you, and how he needs to fix this but he can't face you because he's scared." mikey sighed. "I don't know why he likes you but he does and I haven't seen him this upset ever in my life so I'm here to clean up his mess." "Okay...so clean it up." I said not really sure of what else to respond with. "Well I guess to start off with do you like him back?" Mikey asked giving me a questioning glare. "Listen I've had a lot of time to think about this, or more so what he said. I'd never thought of him like that before until he brought it up, but yes I like him, and i like him enough that I'd date him." I said honestly. "Okay uhm I wasn't expecting that answer from you but gee will be happy about it...." "What answer were you expecting?" I asked in a really bitchy tone. "Nothing I just didn't think you of all people would want to be tied down considering-" "mikey you barely know shit and if I were you I'd stop what you're about to say before I end up punching you like I did to that psycho outside." I told him through gritted teeth. "you wouldn't hit a friend." He said smirking "You're. Not. My. Friend. You ditched me and frankly I don't really care. I'm not going to forgive you so you can fuck off now." "Excuse me?" He said with a shocked voice. "Fuck off. Leave I don't want you here. Tell Gerard to come and talk to me as soon as possible though, and unless he wants you to come with him then don't bother coming back." I told him while staring him down. right now my anger on a scale of 1-10 is a 25 and it's about to hit 30 if he doesn't leave. I glared at him and when he realized I was being serious he stood up and left my room. for some reason I felt really sad afterwards. I began to cry uncontrollably and Jamia came rushing in. she tried to give me medicine but couldn't get me to swallow anything so instead she held me until I calmed down. It was nice with her there but the little voice inside my head was silently wishing that it was Gerard holding me instead of Jamia. ***** 38 ***** I can't believe it. I'm out. After almost two and a half damn months I'm free of that fucking psych ward. I'll miss Jamia but we have each other's numbers incase we want to talk or meet up, or if I feel suicidal again. now my only problem is that I don't have a place to stay. Mikey and Gerard haven't visited me in almost two weeks and Im not sure what Gerard knows at this point in time. I stopped and sat down on a bench outside a small store. I sat and thought for a while before deciding that I wasn't going home and that I was going to man up and go to Gerard's apartment. the worst he can do is say no and avoid me. If that happens I'll just suck it up and find a place to stay, I can handle this. Or at least I should be able to, because really after all the shit I've been threw lately this is nothing. I continued my walk with only a small white bag in my hands containing my phone, my cigarettes, a lighter, and of course all of my medicine. eventually I arrived at Gerard's apartment that had housed me for so long until the incident at school. School. That was another thing I hadn't really thought about. I don't really know if I can go back anymore after everything. I always thought that was my only way out of this town but maybe I'm meant to be stuck here. i knocked on the door, and heard a 'coming one second!' On the other side. We hadn't talked in so long I wasn't sure what was going to happen but when he opened the door and saw it was me his face was one of shock. At at first I worried until he pulled me into a bone crushing hug. "Oh my god you're back." He sighed in relief and then released me shutting the door to the apartment behind him. "Yea I'm back" I answered "...hey gee I was wondering if I could stay here maybe?" I whispered quietly.   "I thought you were automatically coming to stay with me?" He said "Yea but after what happened with mikey I wasn't sure." I admitted "Woah woah woah back up. What happened with Mikey?" "you didn't send him to visit me?"I asked "No I didn't." He said seriously. "What did he do?" He asked again this time more firm. "He uh came to talk to me about us....after you told me that you liked me....he said you were a wreck and didn't want to face me about it so he did." I said. "He didn't tell you any of our conversation?" "No nothing I didn't even know he went to see you, but uh frank what happened in that conversation...about us." He said saying the last part quietly. "He asked if I liked you back." Gerard looked at me with extremely hopeful and worried eyes. "What did you say?" I sat down on the couch and motioned for him to follow. He did and I began to speak carefully telling him my thoughts. "I never thought of you like that until you brought it up. I had time to think while at the ward and well...yea I like you. I don't know how far you meant, but I decided that if you'd ever ask me to be your boyfriend that I'd say yes." I took a deep breath and continued. "I want to put the past behind us and move on. I may not be on speaking terms with Mikey but I'm living with you and that's all that matters. So yea my final answer is yes gerard I like you." "So then will you be my boyfriend?" Gerard asked staring straight into my eyes. ***** 39 ***** ****1week later halloween(franks bday)*** i sat on the couch at home and continued my horror movie marathon while Gerard was teaching at school. I had decided that I wasn't going to go back and that I'd just have to deal with whatever job I got. Right now I was working at a small music store called melody music down the street but only on the weekends. it was a decent job and the people who worked with me were really cool today was Halloween and I had already went out and bought candy to hand out tonight for the kids in the apartment building and other than that I hadn't really done much today. It was going to be my first birthday in three years that I wasn't busy with clients and really I just wanted to stay home and relax. Gerard and I have only been dating for a week so I didn't tell him it was my birthday because I didn't want him doing anything big or special. I just wanted to hang out and not have him gushing over me all night. So far our relationship has going really well. One issue though with us is definetley sex. Now I'm not trying to say that we have to be doing it 24/7 it's just that besides kissing we haven't done anything. I'm used to having sex daily and now for not having it in almost 2 months is making me extremley frustrated. I feel like Gerard doesn't want to touch me because of my past or possible stds but according to my doctor there all gone now and as long I continue taking medicine they won't come back and they won't be contagious. I looked at at the clock and saw it was 2:30. Gerard will be home around three so I still have half an hour to kill. I walked to my room which sadly was still my room because gerard didn't want to even just sleep in the same bed as me. I dont know if it's because of my age or stds but technically at 4 o'clock I'm a legal adult and I'm also not his student anymore so it really doesn't matter what we do or who sees. ********** it was five o'clock and gerard still wasn't home. Some kids who were eager to get candy had already started to come around so I just sat at the door in the hall with a bowl of candy. "Trick or treat!" a little kid dressed up as a punk rocker said happily. "Your costumes killer." I smiled and gave some candy. He thanked me and than ran off to the next door for more treats. More and more kids came by until it was almost 9 o'clock and gerard was still nowhere to be seen. I had called and texted him a few times but just gave up after not getting responses. at ten o'clock there were no more kids in the building trick or treating because their parents had taken them home and the only people still up were the people coming to their friends parties. I put the extra candy in the kitchen and just decided to call it a night. I'm not mad or anything I just really thought that this birthday wouldn't be as shitty as the last. ***** 40 ***** I heard giggles in the apartment and rolled over to check the time on my phone. It was around 1 a.m. And there was more than one voice. I walked out to the living room only wearing sweatpants not really giving a fuck. I saw Gerard and Mikey standing together in the middle of the room, well sorta. Mikey was leaning on gerard and giggling uncontrollably. He was drunk. Ive seen mikey drunk so many times but since I was normally the one getting drunk with him it was funny, but now I was just disgusted. Gerard saw me and looked worried. "I am so sorry I had to go get his drunk ass after a meeting at school-" "oh heyyyyyy birthday boyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Mikey slurred walking over to hug me. "don't listen to him he's-" "thanks mikes" I grumbled tiredly. I glared at gerard who looked completely thrown off guard and torn. I walked away, mumbled a good night and went off to my room. I layed down and tried to sleep again. After a few crashing sounds and a 'stay on the couch' I heard gerard walk into my room. He didn't turn on the light probably thinking I was still asleep. He made his way over to the bed and did something he never had before. He laid next to me and slipped his arms around my waist. "Hey you up?" He mumbled into my ear. "Yep." I yawned. "Is today actually your birthday Frankie?" He asked quietly sounding scared of the answer. "Yea my birthdays on Halloween." "Today was your 18th!!" He whispered yelled. "Yea it's fine don't worry gee." I mumbled. "Don't worry!? Frank I missed your birthday!! I don't even have a gift! I brought home my drunk brother who you aren't even friends with god dammit! I need something to give you what do you want we can go get it tomorrow or go do it tomorrow" he questioned eagerly. "we could finally do something besides kissing." I grunted more to myself but I could feel Gerard stiffen around my waist. He went silent for a minute before he stuttered. "I-is that what y-you want?" I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see them in the dark. "kinda I mean we are dating and I'm fucking clean y'know." I responded rudely. Gerard removed his hands from my waist and for a minute i thought he was about to leave. When I turned to check if he was in fact leaving his lips collided with mine. He climbed on top of me while kissing and looked straight into my eyes. "Are you sure you want to do this." "It's not like I haven't before." "Yea but I want you to enjoy it this time. So are you sure." He asked. I nodded and Gerard went back to kissing me. I wasn't wearing a shirt so just kissed his way down my torso biting on some spots along the way. He reached my sweatpants and began palming me while kissing my hips. I moaned and arched into his kiss making him smirk. He slid his hand into the sweatpants immediately meeting skin since I wasn't boxers. He slowly pulled them off and began rubbing my inner thighs while kissing all over my lower half. He came back up to my face and held his fingers in front of my mouth. I sucked on them and watched Gerard as he stared mesmerized at my mouth and his fingers. He removed them from my mouth and began rubbing them around my entrance. He slowly pushed one in and I couldn't take this pace anymore. "Gerard I know your trying to make this loving but I'm so used to just being pounded and right now I really just want you to fuck me into the mattress as hard as possible." Gerard looked taken back but eagerly complied and quickly ripped his pants off. He spit in his palm and slicked himself up before slowly pushing into me. He stared at me for a minute before I yelled "move!" at him   he began pushing in and out of me and as soon as I began pushing back against him he went crazy. He fucked me hard and rough and I was moaning so loud I was almost positive the whole building could hear us. He squeezed my hips tight as he slammed into me. He was panting and looked so hot covered in sweat. This was so different from the first time because it wasn't awkward and because I didn't have to hide who I was. I wasn't his student this time I was his boyfriend. Gerard and my moans filled the air and Gerard kept mumbling random strings of curse words the whole time. He hit my prostate and I began screaming in pleasure clawing at his back, which only made him moan more. As he kept hitting my prostate I cried "g-gee I'm not gonna last." "Go ahead baby go on your so close." He whispered. "So fucking beautiful and perfect, come on baby- ahh!" He yelled as I came and clenched around him. He released into me and then pulled out still panting. I quickly moved and took his cock into my mouth. I began sucking and milked him dry until he was too sensitive to feel pleasured anymore. He collapsed onto the bed and smiled. "H-happy bir-birthday Frankie." He panted. "Thank you gee I loved my present." I smiled truly, and then kissed him before we both fell asleep for the night. ***** 41 ***** "Frank come work register I have to run to the bathroom." John yelled from up front. I walked out of the back room and went to the front counter and nodded at john to go 'to the bathroom' aka take a smoke brake. "Thanks man I'll be back in five." He said and then ran to the bathroom. It was slow day at work for being a Saturday probably because everyone was still recovering from last nights parties. Gerard promised he was going to pick me up from work at noon when my shift ended to take me out and get an actual gift since he said he felt like he still owed me something for my birthday. personally i was extremely happy with the gift I got but if he wants to spend money on me I'm not going to stop him. I heard the bell ring signaling someone had walked into the shop. I couldn't see the door from the counter because of the multiple racks of CDs, vinyls, instruments, and equipment, but if I wanted to I could easily go check and see who it was if I cared enough. But I didn't care enough and if whoever it was needed something they could come find me. I sat on the counter for a while just being bored before someone finally approached. "Oh shit." They whispered. I looked up to see not one but three people. Billie. Ray. Bob. I quickly hopped off the counter and stood back behind the register for safety. "Aw look guys he's scared." billie mocked. "are you gonna help us or not mr salesman?" I glanced at the clock seeing it was 11:54. Gerard would be here soon and knowing john he's probably going to be in the bathroom for another half hour smoking. So until gee shows I'm on my own. "Can I help you?" I asked the group sarcastically.   "Yea actually I'd like to purchase these." Ray said holding up some CDs and guitar strings. i scanned the the tags and entered them into the cash register "it's $34.50." I said quietly "shit I don't have that much." Ray said irritated "what about a discount iero?" "No it's $34.50." I stated firmly even though on the inside I was freaking out. "What if we pay for it another way?" Bob asked. "if you can't pay the price then leave." I ordered. "But we can pay the price just not with money." Billie smirked. "What do you-" I was interrupted by billie grabbing my collar and smashing my lips onto his. Fuck no this was not happening there was no way in hell they were paying this way. i screamed into the kiss and was punched in the side by one of the others. I felt hands grab my sides and try to pull me onto the counter. I screamed again and tried to stay put but only weighing like a hundred pounds wasn't helping and they managed to get me up on top of it. I was pinned down by the three and felt ray and bob touching my package and thighs while billie just kept kissing me. i couldn't do much and didn't want a repeat of what happened last time. I kicked and tried to squirm out of their hold but couldn't. I began to cry when I felt a hand actually go into my boxers. I felt so defenseless and dirty again. I just kept crying while they touched and rubbed me. A hand began to pump me and another hand went to my entrance where whoever it was (since I couldn't see past billies head) roughly shoved their finger inside me making me scream as loud as I could into billies mouth. i just kept screaming and crying making whoever had the finger in me mad and apparently making them mad enough to add another finger and painfully push in and out. before any more damage could be done to me like last time I heard the bell signaling the door had opened and that someone else had walked into the shop. The three quickly stopped touching me and shoved me to the floor behind the register trying to avoid being caught and ran. They ran without paying and left me a sobbing mess on the ground. I quickly pulled my pants up and fixed my clothes so the other customer who had arrived wouldn't be freaked out. "Frankie?" A voice called out from the other side of the counter. i tried to hold back my sobs but couldn't. gerard must've looked over and saw me on the floor because the next thing I knew he was hoping over the counter and hugging me. "Frankie what's wrong?" He asked worriedly. I couldn't form words and just clutched onto his shirt like it was my life line. I buried my head into the crook of his neck and just cried until I ran out of tears. I felt as though I had cheated on Gerard and felt just like a prostitute again. Once I had stopped crying I stood up ignoring Gerard and gathered my phone and jacket then clocked out for the day. I gabbed his hand and led him out of the store. he looked at me concerned and confused "frank are you alright?" I sniffled and wiped my nose. "Can we just go home and do something for my birthday another day?" I asked,my voice cracking halfway through. he nodded and pulled me into a hug. "I don't know what's going on but I'm here for you okay. When your ready I want you to tell me what happened and I'll listen." I nodded and wiped my eyes. He kissed me on the forehead and then we went to his car and drove home in almost complete silence minus a few of my sobs along the way. ***** 42 ***** ******GEES POV****** i sat at my desk waiting for my next class to come in. It was Monday and I felt like shit. Frank had told me that he couldn't bring himself to talk to me about what happened which scared me to no end. He stayed home from work yesterday and doesn't work at all this week until Saturday so I'm nervous about him being alone especially since he was so upset and I have a full week of teaching. I trust frank and all it's just with him being bi polar I felt the need to hide all dangerous objects to protect him. I'm just hoping he doesn't notice and get mad about it. I was broken from my thoughts when my class walked in. It was the seniors which is probably the worst behaved class I have. I took roll and cringed when I passed over the scribbled out names for billie ray and bob. If they still went here I'd probably have quit because just being around them gave me the creeps. I finished roll and told my class their assignment for the day since I wasn't in the teaching mood. I sat back down at my desk and texted frank. -you okay baby? frnk- yea why wouldn't I be? -you were just so upset this weekend that I wanted to make sure nothing was wrong sorry if you were sleeping frnk- nah I was already up, it's fine just text me when you're on your way home, and mikey called but I didn't answer. -okay I'll call him and see what's up and I should be home by three today bye Frankie<3 frnk- bye gee<3 "mr. Way?" A girls voice called out. I looked up from the laptop on my desk and answered "yes lynz?" "can I be excused?" "Yes lynz the hall pass is on the door." I mumbled and she got up and left. The class went by slowly. it felt like ages until these idiot left my room. I had a free period and was bored so I tried to face time frank. "Hey gee." He answered smiling and eating cereal shirtless on the couch. "If you spill that on the couch frank I swear to god you're dead." I laughed and frank quickly put the food down on the coffee table. "What's up? Why'd you call?" He asked. "just bored, hey did Mikey leave a message?" I saw franks smile drop at the mention of Mikey and he mumbled something like cunt under his breath. That got my mind turning and I quickly asked "frank? Mikey....he wasn't the reason you were so upset was he?" "This weekend no, and I told you to drop it." He responded coldly. "Frank you were crying and looked terrified I'm going to find out what happened." i told him. "No actually Gerard I'm not talking about it...I can't okay? Just please let it drop. And yeah mikey left a message he just said to text him." I looked at frank for a minute trying to figure out if he was angry at me or not. I heard the door to my classroom open and I quickly told frank I had to go and ended the face time. It was lynz returning the bathroom pass. "Thank you ms. Ballato, now off to class." I told her in my teacher voice as frank like to call it "actually I wanted to ask you about something." She said quietly. "Yea?" I asked becoming interested in her question. "Well you know me and billie are related right?" She mumbled. "No I didn't but continue." I said feeling disgusted at the sound of his name. " we're step-siblings" she said "...Listen I don't know what happened but I heard billie and bob talking about frank the other day and I just wanted to tell you since you two are y'know-" "how do you know about me and frank?" I asked. "Billie told me, and my mom made him tell me why he got expelled so I know...." She trailed off awkwardly. i sat there in a state of shock. She knew about everything and is related to billie. She's his fucking step sister god dammit, this is going to make teaching her awkward. "wait what were you going to tell me about frank?" I said switching the topic back to it's original point. "Oh yeah...the other day bob and billie came over and I heard franks name mentioned. They were laughing and smiling like crazy and I figured they did something to him, and I kinda wanted to make sure he was alright, after..what happened last time I got worried." i thought for a second before it clicked. My mind placed the pieces together realizing it was probably them who had made him so upset and scared this weekend. "Mr. Way?" Lynz said shyly breaking me out of my daydream. "no he's fine, thanks for me telling me though really, Thank you lynz. Now you probably want to get to class here I'll write you note so you won't get in trouble." I quickly scribbled that I had needed to speak with her and to not punish for being late on a piece of paper and handed it to her. She gave me a small smile and walked out. As soon as I couldn't see her anymore I pulled my phone and texted frank. -does billie or bob have anything to do with this weekend??? i waited five minutes and got no response. Those fuckers. ***** 43 ***** *******Gees pov******* i felt really uneasy about frank not responding. I knew that by him ignoring the text that they, billie and bob, did in fact have something to do with why he was so upset this weekend. he was at the record shop working. What could've even happened in the three hours he worked that day? i wanted to go and check on him but I still had another two or three classes and couldn't just cancel them on such short notice. I did the only thing I could think of. I texted Mikey. *******Mikey's pov******* i couldn't believe I was doing this for Gerard. I was missing hanging out with a girl during study hall to check on his precious frank. Fuck frank man, I couldn't care less about that little shit. i never thought frank was a bad dude in any way and he honestly was the closest friend I ever had, but finding out that your best friend is fucking people instead of talking to you about it really irked me. he could've came to me and I could've gotten him help. My parents would've instantly taken him in, or even Gerard would've, but it was always really weird to me that frank never wanted to leave his moms home even though she was a druggie. Frank always claimed she'd never hit him or abused him before, but wether he realized it or not her doing drugs is what led to him selling himself in the first place. I arrived at the apartment building and began to walk up the stairs to gees place. I went straight into the room not really caring about what I could accidentally see if frank wasn't expecting me. What shocked me was that I couldn't find frank. I looked all through the apartment, into every closet and room and still no frank. -he's not here I sent to Gerard who was still teaching Gerard- what? Where could he have gone? -idk but I'll keep looking just don't worry okay? Gerard- okay please find him quickly -I will i assured gee. I walked through your the entire apartment building checking all empty rooms and all stairwells. I saw a fire alarm in a hallway as I was walking and then it hit me. The fire escape. Knowing frank he'd probably be out there. I quickly dashed back to gees place and climbed out of his bedroom window onto the fire escape. Sure enough there was frank huddled in a corner, crying? "frank?" I called quietly. he looked up at me and I could almost see his heart breaking in his eyes. "M-mikey? W-why are you here?" He stuttered "why are you out here crying?" I asked ignoring his question. "I-I.....did gee send you?" "Yea he did." I said and then I went to sit by him. "Frank why are you out here crying?" I asked again. "Why do you care?" He asked with watery eyes. "Frank you look dead. I can tell something's really wrong." I answered. "P-promise you won't tell gee? I don't want t-to go b-back." He said staring into my eyes. "Promise?" I said more like a question. Frank sighed and wiped his eyes. "I came out here.........because I was going to jump." "WHAT?!" "Shh!!" He yelled. "You promised not to tell! I don't want to go back to the ward Mikey." "frank why?- why would you want to jump what's going on?" I asked worriedly wanting to get him inside as quickly as possible now. I may still be mad at him but he doesn't deserve to die no matter how you look at it. And he especially doesn't deserve to die by suicide. "Its just that at the shop yesterday, I felt disgusted. I felt like I had cheated on gee...I still feel dirty and worthless so why not just end it?" He sighed shaking his head. "Then everyone's life would just go back to normal. Gee could just be a plain teacher. He wouldn't have to pay for me to live here anymore, and you can just be his brother and not have me irritating you." He said seriously. "Frank look at me. We're going inside and waiting for Gerard to get home okay?" I said as calmly as I could "NO! You're gonna tell him!" He shouted. "Frank I won't tell him if you just come inside and stay inside, if you stay out here I'll call him and I'll tell him." "I-i-I Mikey I can't! he can't know!" "Frank he's not going to know anything. Just please come inside." I begged. Frank began crying again and before he could argue I grabbed his arms and began dragging him toward the window back into the apartment. He screamed and fought with me and I saw how serious he was about jumping. I couldn't let him hurt himself like that. I used all the strength in me and threw him back into the apartment. I climbed in and locked the window to the escape. I locked the front door to the apartment and sat on the living room floor with him just watching him cry and making sure he didn't go anywhere or do anything stupid. I pulled out my phone and quickly texted gee for help to control him and his mental breakdown. -gee get here fast I don't care if there's a meeting after school it can wait , just ditch it and get home. frank really needs you. ***** 44 ***** *****Gees pov****** i got Mikey's text during a meeting at school and immediately left. I drove as fast as I could, luckily not hitting anyone or anything,to the apartment building. I ran inside and flew up the stairs to my place. I ran inside and saw frank crying on the floor rolling around and mikey ontop of him holding him down. "Mikey?" mikey looked up at me while frank just kept trying to shove him off. "Oh thank god you're here!" He exclaimed. "Please tell your boyfriend that jump-" before mikey could finish speaking frank had manged to push mikey onto his back and climb ontop of him. "YOH SAID YOU WOULDNT TELL!" He cried. Tell me what? what was frank hiding? "frank he needs to know!" Mikey yelled angrily "no he fucking doesn't!" Frank yelled back. "Frankie?" I said quietly "what don't you want him to tell me?" Frank looked horrible when he finally turned to face me. His face was ghost white and he had tear tracks staining his face. "Gee I.... I...wasn't going to I promise I don't wanna go back." He said, his whole body shaking. "Frank what weren't you going to do?" I asked softly. Frank just stared at me and he looked terrified of what my reaction might be if he said another word. "he was going to jump!" Mikey yelled. Jump? What was he going to jump- my thoughts were inturupted and I was shocked at the sight before me. Frank really didn't want me to know whatever they were talking about because he nailed mikey right in the center of his face and kept going. "Frank stop!" I yelled and tried to pull him off mikey. "Frank let go of him!" I screamed again and he finaly stopped punching. "You fucker!" Mikey yelled and threw a fist at frank which collided with his jaw. It made a sickening crunch. frank flinched back and grabbed his mouth. He began coughing an blood began to come out of his mouth just like it was coming out of Mikey's busted lip. "WILL YOU TWO FUCKING STOP IT!" I screamed louder than I ever have and both of them stopped to look at me. "You two have three seconds to tell me what happened!" I yelled at them. "One!" "two!" "Thr-" "Frank tried to jump off the fire escape, that's what happened. He didn't want you to know cause he doesn't want to go back to the ward." Mikey said quickly. I don't what I was expecting him to say but it certainly wasn't that. "Frank why would you-" "those fuckers ruined everything!" Frank cried cutting me off. "I was finally somewhat normal and they had to come fuck me up! It's not fair!" he said beginning to break down again. "Frank what are you talking about?" Mikey asked him. "Those fuckers! Billie bob and ray! They had to...do that to me and make me even more dirty. They fucking did it right on the counter and no one else was there!" He said while his tears began to flow. "Frank what did they do to you." I asked with rage filling my body.   "They-they raped me." ***** 45 ***** ******Franks pov****** currently it was thanksgiving break so Gerard would be off of teaching for the week. I was happy to have some alone time with him because lately things between us have been really shaky. After my bi-polar episode I went to the doctors to have my medicine changed to something stronger and I also got checked for stds because of what happened with three you know who's. I told gee they didn't actually enter me but he wasn't buying it and made me get checked. I came out clean and everything, but Gerard's still mad because I won't press charges. Pressing charges against billie ray and bob isn't going to do anything since I don't have any evidence they actually hurt me. Gerard begs to differ but I'm still not pressing charges. We were watching Charlie browns thanksgiving on tv while cuddled together when I tried to kiss him and he moved his jaw away. "You're really still holding this grudge on me?" I asked annoyed that he just wouldn't move on "yes I'm still holding a grudge and will continue to until you do something that will get three certain people behind bars." He said in his teacher voice. "Gerard really?" I said sitting up and facing him. "Don't you think your being immature?" "I'm not being immature I'm trying to protect my boyfriend from getting hurt but he doesn't seem to care so why don't you stop being immature before you do get hurt again?!" he exclaimed. "I've never had a chance to be immature in my fucking life Gerard." I said trying to stay calm. "I just can't press charges, I have no proof! and the only witness you could give is when you raped me too that day in school with them! I don't know about you Gerard but I don't think that would sound or look very good in front of a judge." I said like a total smart ass. Gerard just rolled his eyes and went back to watching tv. I stood up and walked into my room. "What are you doing?" Gerard called from the couch. "Texting a client why?" I shot back. He was silent for a minute before he began walking back to my room. "Don't fucking joke about that." He said sounding scared and serious at the same time. He walked to my dresser and actually took my phone off it then placed it in his pocket. "Gee I was joking!" "I don't really care frank why don't you just go get some ice for your jaw and then go to bed." He said rudely and then walked into his own room. I guess were not sleeping together tonight. I did walk to the kitchen and get some ice like he said for my jaw though from when Mikey punched me. He had managed to fracture my jaw and break two of my molars in one hit. I went back to my room and placed the ice on my face. I couldn't sleep. I just kept thinking. I feel so tired lately and I feel like me and Gerard have been fading. I don't really know what to do to fix anything right now so I just settled on crying about my fucked up love life until I fell asleep. ***** 46 ***** ***Gees pov*** i could hear frank crying in his room from my bed. I felt like a huge asshole and knew I over reacted when he said he was texting a client. Frank wouldn't go back to that lifestyle though would he? He has a job and he has me even though we've been fighting a lot lately. I have noticed that his new medicine is making him act differently though which could be affecting his thoughts about stuff like that. he tends to not have much emotion lately and basically just stays calm. If he becomes upset enough he'll cry but I haven't seen him very happy in awhile just upset. I realized I still had his phone from after I had yelled at him and decided to go through it. It wasn't locked and I saw he had a bunch of unread messages 103 to be exact. I clicked on some of the messages and immediately ran to frank. "Frank wake up baby." I said with tears in my eyes. "Gee what's wrong?" He asked sitting up. I sat down next to him and he wrapped his arms around my middle trying to comfort me. "Frank I- I looked at some of your unread messages and..." "Gerard give me my phone." Frank said seriously, cutting me off. "Frank you don't understand those people have pictures of you-" "Give. Me. The. Damn. Phone Gerard." "frank you're not listening they have-" I tried to reason but was cut off again. "They have naked pictures of me fucking them, sucking them off, being chained to a table and whipped. They also have pictures of me with their toys up my ass, and I think that's most of them. I know they like to send them to me as fucked up trophies that they hurt me and so that's why I don't open messages. Now give me my phone back." He hissed. "You-you know?" I asked confused. "If you know then why don't you delete them or something? Frank they're horrible and I feel sick just looking them." "Gee thanks Gerard." Frank laughed sarcastically. "frank I didn't mean it that way you know that, I was just shocked when I saw them and...I don't want everyone seeing them they're degrading and humiliating." frank sighed and then looked at me. "That's what comes with being a prostitute now please don't open anymore if you're going to keep my phone. I'm not exactly proud of them either and don't need to make the person who should be touching me that way sick." he said then laid back down with a loud thump looking upset. i sat there just staring at my boyfriend. I glanced between him and the picture on the screen and then laid down next to him on the bed and wrapped my arms around him. He turned to face me and wrapped his legs with mine while snuggling up to my chest. "frank we've never actually talked much about what those people did to you and I want you to be able to open up with me so why don't we talk about them now?" I suggested. I felt frank stiffen but he answered never the less. "What do you want to know I mean what would I even open up about? You know how I lost my virginity and that I was complete slut afterwards so-" "frank you're not a slut okay? And why don't you tell me the worst thing someone's done to you. If you can do that it shows you trust me enough to let me in." ***franks pov*** "gee I don't think you wanna know..." I warned him. "Tell me anyway." He said kissing my head. "I'm not really sure how to say this but uh......" I hesitated "the worst was when I was fifteen and I met this older guy probably in his forties. He chained me in his basement and used me for I don't even know how many days and eventually I blacked out from starvation." I whispered quietly, hating having that memory run through my head. "I woke up in some random woods all wrapped up in a blanket and realized the dude must've thought I was dead and he was trying to hide my body.... I managed to get home and eat but it took me months before I could eat a full meal again." I said finishing my story not wanting to continue into it any deeper. "Frank you don't deserve any of the pain you've had to deal with. I'm sorry for being such an ass lately can you forgive me?" Gee asked quietly. I smiled and leaned into to kiss him and mumbled a yes against his lips. He chuckled and pulled me on top of him sliding his tongue into my mouth. I grinned realizing we hadn't sex or even touched each other in almost two weeks. I ground my hips against his and he made a surprised moan in my mouth. I continued grinding but more forcefully and moved to kissing his collarbone while he kissed my neck. I made little trails with my tongue and bit down softly making him groan against my own flesh. I sat up purposely on his package making him moan and arch his hips up. I tore off my shirt and Gerard moved his off his body and onto the floor. "Fuck gee your so gorgeous." I said leaning down to kiss his chest and stomach. while one hand was running up and down his side the other was rubbing him through this jeans making him let out strings of various curse words. I reached his naval and flicked my tongue in and out of it then licked down his happy trail. "God Frankie wanna fuck you so bad." He panted. I smirked and and removed my pants then helped Gerard remove his. he tried to flip positions so he was on top but I held him down. I spit on his now hard cock and pumped it spreading the saliva as much as I could. Once I deemed he was lubed enough I climbed on top and slid down his shaft beginning to ride him "fuck frank so tight" Gerard moaned "fuck gee so big." I panted back. Gerard was big enough to fill me and he wasn't huge and thick from pills like some of my clients. Gerard wasn't as long as me but he was damn close and he was much thicker than me which felt amazing. I began sliding up and down his shaft as fast as I could to try and find my prostate. Gerard suddenly grabbed my hips figuring out what I was trying to do and began thrusting up to meet with me as I came down on him. He slammed into me hard over and over until I literally screamed when he found my spot. "you sound so damn hot when you scream for me babe." He said biting on his lip. I couldn't even respond I just kept moaning as Gerard thrust up into me. "G-gee my legs." I panted telling him I was getting tired from riding him so hard. He nodded and flipped our positions. He pulled out for me to move and when I went on all fours he flipped me so I was on my back with my knees over his shoulders. "I wanna be able to see you while I do this." He smiled at me sexily. I moaned at his words and laid there while he pounded into me. "God mmhm I'm close." I panted out. I reached down to grab myself when Gerard swatted my hand away. "That's my job" he winked and began pumping me furiously. I was moaning so loud I was sure everyone in the building could hear us, and on one final hit to my prostate I lost it and screamed at the top of my lungs in pure pleasure. I came so hard some of it landed on Gerard's chin and on his upper torso. Gerard kept fucking me hard through my orgasm until he came inside me. After his own high he fell down on top of me and pulled me into a kiss full of spit and cum. "fuck I love you." He breathed "I love you too gee."I smiled and gave him one final kiss before falling asleep for the first time in weeks without the help of my pills. ***** 47 ***** *2 days later* "gee I'm leaving I'll be home in three hours" I called walking out the front door and walking down the street to the music shop. I wasn't scared to go back to work since I knew billie ray and bob wouldn't attack me somewhere they already had just for purposes of not getting caught. I checked into work and threw my stuff in the back room before heading to the front desk and hopping up on the counter, playing pointless games on my phone. I heard the bell ring letting me know someone had walked in. When they finally walked in front of the shelves so I could see who it was I smiled "hey lynz." lynz comes here twice a week and she's really cool. Apparently we went to the same school before I left but I had never noticed her since I was usually neck deep in text messages from perverts. "What's up Frankie?" She said while digging through a box of records sitting cross legged on the floor. "Nothing much, got any plans for thanksgiving?" I asked since it was only two days away. "Yeah just chilling with my step family you?" She said picking up a green day vinyl "I'm just gonna be with my boyfriend so yea nothing to exciting." I said. At least I think I'm spending the day with Gerard. He never said anything about a family dinner and if he was going out to a family dinner I wasn't planning on tagging along. "Frank hello....??" Lynz said waving her hand in front of my face. "Huh? Sorry I was just lost in my thoughts for a second. This it?" I asked ringing up the three vinyls she picked out. "Yep just three today." She said picking up the bag. "Cya next week Frankie." She called and then walked out. I got bored after a while so I jumped over the counter and started rearranging some of the music. The instruments were the only thing actually organized here in the shop and everything else you had to dig to find. It was basically a treasure hunt for whatever you may find but you'd have to be extremely lucky to end up with what you were actually looking for. After I managed to make the piles of CDs look somewhat normal and in order I realized my shift was way past over. I grabbed my shit and was out the door knowing Gerard would be freaking out about if I was okay or not. I made it to the apartment and the first thing I saw was Gerard with his head in his hands on the couch. He looked up seeing me and instantly breathed in. "Thank fuck you're okay." He said pulling me into a hug. "Gee I'm so sorry I lost track of time and didn't realize how late I was." I apologized. "I'm just happy you're okay frank but really almost an hour and a half late are you sure nothing happened?" He asked still worried. "Gerard nothing happened I just didn't realize how long I was hanging out with lynz and how long it took to rearrange some shelves. Sorry." I mumbled feeling bad for making him worry. "Lynz? Lynz who?" He asked his voice changing to a weird tone id never heard before. "Just a girl who comes to the shop a lot why what's wrong?" Gerard just stared at me with a weird look in his eyes. "Wait Gerard you don't think I- you know I wouldn't cheat on you!" I said completely shocked he would even- "frank what was her last name?" He cut in seriously "uh I don't know we used to go to school together but she's a year older and for her last name? I think it's ballato or something why?" "shit frank you need to stay away from her okay." He sighed. "Gerard I'm not cheating-" "frank this isn't about fucking cheating!" He yelled in my face scaring the hell out of me. "She's bad news and I don't want you around her." "Why not? are you mad I have a friend now?" I asked becoming more annoyed with Gerard by the second. "Listen she has ties to people I don't want near you like billie so just trust me." He said. "What do you mean she has ties? Is she like fucking him or something and how would you even know?" i questioned. "Because she told me frank!" he yelled again. "Yea right how would she even know about what happened between me and him and why would she tell you anyway? Just admit your jealous gee!" "I'm not jealous." He said sternly. "really?" I questioned "just admit it Gerard your jealous because you think someone likes me." "I'm not fucking jealous of some girl 'liking' an ex-hooker god dammit!" he screamed.   "fuck you." ***** 48 ***** I walked out of the apartment building with tears streaming down my face. Does he really not realize that I hate that part of me over everything else. Even around my own boyfriend I still feel like someone's cheap fuck. I hate it. It makes me want to die. Everyone whoever used me makes me want to die. I wiped my eyes as I quickly walked down a random street. I didn't really know where to go so I walked until I ended up at my house. I hadnt been here in a while almost 5 months and zero contact with my mom. The front door was unlocked so I walked in. I quietly shut the door behind me and looked around. The place actually looked...clean...there wasn't beer cans or needles or white lines on the tables and it looked normal. "Mom?" I called out quietly. I heard movement above me and then footsteps rushing down the stairs. There stood my mom on the stairwell staring at me. She looked, well she looked good. She didn't look tired and worn she looked alert and ready. Not to mention she wasn't wearing sweatpants or a baggy t shirt but she was actually dressed. Jeans high heels a red tank top and a nice leather jacket. She was also wearing makeup which was new and she had died her hair from dark brown to red. "Frankie!" She cried running over to me and pulling me into a bone crushing hug. "I thought you weren't going to come back because of me. I'm so sorry I'm all better now I promise. please don't leave me again." She whispered against my neck and I could feel tears on my skin. "Mom you look a lot better." I said sincerely. She pulled away from the hug and smiled. We walked over to the couch and began to talk. "So you've been sober for three and a half months?!" I asked unbelievably happy. She nodded and I hugged her. "I wanted to get better so you'd come back. I missed you." She said "I missed you too." I told her. "where were you all this time frank?" She asked "Oh uh I was...uh living with my boyfriend but we got into a fight and I got upset and now I'm here." I answered her "Boyfriend?" She asked "that mikey kid?" "Uh no it's Mikey's older brother." I said biting my lip waiting for a response. "Frank how old is he?" She asked seriously. Shit. What is Gerard's actual age? I think mikey said they were like seven or eight years apart so if Mikey's still seventeen he's either 24 or 25. "He's twenty four." I said giving her the lower number out of the two. "Frank he's six years older than you!" She gasped "has he hurt you at all?" She asked worriedly. "What? no, mom he's never hurt me I swear. he just called me a name and I got upset don't worry." I smiled at her. "Okay I believe you but please be smart about this Frankie." She frowned. "I don't want you to make any mistakes that are going to end badly." There was an edge to her voice when she said that and I could tell something was up. "Mom what's wrong?" She was silent. "Mom what's wrong? What are you hiding?" I asked again this time more urgent. "Frank I'm pregnant." What. ***** 49 ***** *****7 months later***** "I like this one." I said holding up a small blue onesie. My mom nodded and agreed. Currently we were out shopping for clothes for the soon to be baby since we already had all the furniture, diapers and formula taken care of. i hadn't really talked to Gerard since the night I left except for a few text messages. He'd ask me where I was or when I was coming home and I'd tell him to fuck off. "Okay I think we have enough clothes." My mom laughed. "Let's go get something to eat I'm hungry and my back hurts from standing." I nodded and grabbed the bags for her then we walked to a small restaurant down the road. It was a sports bar and my mom wanted a burger so we just decided on here. We walked in and sat at a booth and watched whatever hockey game was on until a waiter came to take our orders. My moms hormones made her change her craving for a burger and she ended up getting a chicken wrap with a coke while I got a salad and a dr. Pepper. We ate and talked about the baby which was due next month and talked about what it's name should be if it was a boy or girl since it was a surprise, but we avoided the topic of the babies dad. Mom didn't really want to bring up the fact that the child she was carrying was my 100% brother/sister and that she'd hooked up with my dad while I'd been gone. Of course she didn't care enough at the time to try and get ahold of me so I could finally meet the man who created me but apparently he ran off just like he did with me when he found out mom was pregnant. I was really proud of my mom though for being sober through her pregnancy since she'd found out and I was happy we were finally family again. When the bill came my mom tried to pay but I slapped her hand away and told her not to worry about it then gave the waiter the money. "Frankie I have to go the bathroom okay I'll try to be quick." She said placing a kiss on my cheek before running off to the ladies room. One thing I didn't like about her being pregnant was that she hogged all the bathroom time but I couldn't blame her I'd never be able to handle being pregnant. as I sat waiting for her return a figure slid into the booth across me. I looked up and I'm almost positive my eyes grew ten times bigger. "Gerard?" I gasped "what're you doing here?" "So this is why you've been avoiding me? Frank we got into one fight which I tried to apologize for and you, you go and do this!" He snapped at me with watery eyes. "Do what?" I asked clueless. "You went and knocked some chick up!! I'm not blind I could see your little date perfectly from the bar." He whisper yelled at me and I could see he was now about to cry. "Gerard oh my god no! That is not what's going in here at all!" I said. "I didn't answer you because every time we fought you'd make me feel like some cheap hooker all over again but I would never go and knock someone up especially when were still together." I said. "We're....we're still together?" He asked with stray tears now falling down his cheeks. "I didn't say we were done did I? Gerard I just needed a brake from all your comments. You were really close to pushing me to the edge again so I needed to get away." I sighed. "I think seven months was a long enough brake." He mumbled "Frankie baby who's this?" My mom said returning and looking at Gerard. "Frankie baby?" He asked unbelievably glaring at me with rage in his voice. "Mom" I over exaggerated. "This my boyfriend Gerard." she smiled and held out a hand. "I'd hug you but I can't exactly do it with this thing in the way." She joked motioning towards her belly. Gerard shook her hand and then she invited him over to our place for the afternoon, and suggested he could help us decorate the nursery. Gerard agreed and smiled at her then grabbed my hand as we walked out of the restaurant. I tried to look at him and see what he was thinking but he avoided my gaze and all I could tell from my view was that he was still crying. ***** 50 ***** About halfway through decorating the nursery my mom started feeling dizzy and went to lie down leaving me and Gerard who had been silent the whole time. "All right cut the bullshit what's wrong?" I said looking him in the eye. He tried go avoid my gaze so I cupped his face and made him look at me. "Gerard talk to me." I said calmly "I thought we were done." He said trying to look away at the floor. That kind of hit me. "why did-do you want to be done?" I asked confused. "no I want to be together frank I love you but I thought we were done"he said again with more emphasis still awkwardly glancing around at anything besides me . i stared at him not understanding what he was getting at. He sighed and wiped his eyes which had begun to water. "Frank I- I'd gone out to a few clubs and." He shook his head then went and sat down in the rocking chair in the corner of the room. He hunched over and began sobbing. "Fuck frank I-I picked up some hookers." He whispered. "You fucking what?!" I almost screamed. "After all you saw that job put me through! What the fuck Gerard!" I yelled as loud as I could while still not waking my mom. "Frankie I swear they were just one night stands nothing more-" "I don't fucking care what they were! You fucked kids for money!" I spat at him "They weren't kids-" "gerard I know for a fact almost 100% of the people who are hookers are under 20 and you're what 24-25? That's a kid. they're younger than you." I exclaimed He sighed. "Fuck frank I'm 26 and, just fuck....ok well I know you're mad about the hooker part but I honestly didn't think we were together or else I wouldn't have cheated on you. I'd never ever cheat." He tried to argue. "But you did-" "but I didn't know!" He cried looking up at me. I couldn't handle all the new information. I felt cheated on and betrayed that out of all his options he went to hookers. He could've fucked any normal human being in the world but he chose to wreck some poor kids life even more. Either way he cheated but with a hooker of all people. I walked out of the nursery room to cry but only made it halfway down the hall before I heard my mom screaming. "Frankie call 911!" She yelled. "I think I'm in labor!" What? she couldn't be she's only at seven months. That could cause all sorts of health issues. "Fuck fuck fuck gerard call 911!" I yelled. Gerard came running down the hall to see me trying to calm my screaming mother and he looked confused. He then realized what was happening but I guess he wanted an official answer. "What's-" "call fucking 911 now!" I screamed cutting him off and he ran to the phone without question. "ambulances are on their way they'll be here soon but they said to stay on the line incase we need anything." I nodded and answered questions the lady asked me through the phone. All were basic questions I could answer until about the tenth one. "Do you know of any reasons that could've caused her to go into labor early?" She asked calmly "no." I answered "no sicknesses no allergic reactions anything?" "No." I said again rubbing my moms stomach as she kept crying and screaming. "No drug usage?" She asked. i was about to respond no when I noticed my mom had stopped screaming and was looking at me guiltily while sniffling. I looked at her for a few seconds before my stomach dropped Fuck. ***** 51 ***** May 13th 2014 Time of birth Nathan Tyler Iero: 7:21 pm time of death Lisa lee Iero: 8:57 pm. those times just kept repeating over and over in my head my brothers birth and my mothers death. i was extremely hurt and mad when my mom admitted to the doctors that she'd done heroine and said she'd taken some pulls of mine she'd found in the bathroom. I mean how couldn't I be mad she literally took her own life and any chance of her sons having a normal one. "Mom what pills?" I asked hoping the weren't anything strong. "Lora something....I don't know all I know is that they were yours." She said looking up at me. Gerard was standing next to me giving me a weird look like, what pills? I ignored it trying to think of a name with Lora in it...... "mom it wasn't lorazepam was it?" She nodded. "Yea that's what it was." Her doctor quickly figured out that the heroine combined with my anxiety meds was what caused her body to go into shock then labor. "Were going to have to preform an immediate c-section for the baby's health well have to ask you to leave while we get her to the O.R." the doctor said then kicked us out. ---- "Frank?" gerard asked looking at me. "You okay?" "How am I supposed to take care of a baby Gerard?!" I asked hysterically "frank I'm sure everything will work out you just have to give it time." He said calmly while I was anything but calm. "gerard I'm in charge of this kids life now!" I cried "frank it'll be o-" " no just save the bullshit. I don't want to hear the everything's gonna be okay line. We both know the truth that nothing is fucking okay! why are you even here still anyway?" I asked rudely with adrenaline still pumping through my body furiously "I'm here to help you and give support." He said "ya support, ha go tell that to your hookers to." I snapped. "Frank what do I have to do to make it up to you I said I was sorry!" he complained. "Ya well y'know what I'm sorry my moms a druggie but just because I'm sorry doesn't mean she's coming back! She's dead it doesn't matter how sorry you are were dead just like her." I spat then stomped off down the hallway. ***** 52 ***** *2 months later* "shhh shhh buddy you're okay" I said rocking Nathan back and forth in my lap. he had stopped crying for now but I know if I stopped rocking he would just start right back up again. I haven't gotten a full nights sleep since the night I took him home. He had to stay at the hospital for two weeks because of his prematurity but they were able to get him up to a normal weight and let him come home. They dont believe that nathan was affected by my moms drug use but until he gets older there's no way to know. Hes been drinking formula well and he's never showed any signs of disability yet towards me so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he's going to be okay. I felt nathan than kick his feet and I smiled at him, he smiled back or at least looked like he was smiling at me. Technically I'm also Nathan's dad now. Or legal parent/guardian. Since I'm 18 I either had the choice to adopt him as my own or put him up for adoption. Me and my mom had already bought everything I'd need before hand so I decided to adopt Nathan as my own. I have enough money for everything because I got what my mom left for me and my dad still has to pay child support for Nathan because it's what him and my mom agreed on before he was born.   I looked down down to see Nathan was now asleep and I set him in his swing in the living room while I watched tv. It was only noon but I felt dead. I made myself some cereal and sat down on the couch but of course the door bell rings just as I start to relax. I groan and go to answer it before they have a chance to ring the bell again and possibly wake Nathan. "Mikey?" I ask confused when I see it's him at the door. He's carrying a big blue bag like a gift and a card in his hands. "Listen I know were not on good terms but can I come in?" I nod "yeah just be quiet." I glance in the living room and see Nathan's still asleep so I walk into the kitchen with mikey. "What's up?" I ask awkwardly. "Listen frank I know it sucks. You're 18 it's July and your home taking care of the baby...Gee told me about everything and I feel really bad about how this mess ended up, so I was wondering if you could use a hand and maybe want to go out to eat later with me and gerard." He asked. "Oh and uh here." He said handing me the gift bag and card. "It's some diapers I figured you could use them" he said. I set the bag on the counter and turned back to mikey. I nod yes definetly needing the hand and thinking it might do good to at least talk to gerard. He'd texted me multiple times asking about Nathan and and asking about me but I never responded. I was just to upset with him for using hookers and it made me feel like he'd replaced me for a cheap fuck. "awesome so what can I help with?" Mikey asked. I smiled at him and decided that I would try to make amends with him today. "We'll let me introduce you to Nathan." I smiled walking into the living room and sitting on the floor in front of the swing. mikey sat next to me and smiled at Nathan. "He kinda looks like you even though he's real young." Mikey said. "He's actually really fucking adorable though. So uh, what do you want me to help with Mr. Dad?" Mikey joked. "Actually mikes could you just chill and watch him while I take a nap? I haven't slept a full night in forever and feel like a zombie." I asked. "He should just sleep for like an hour straight and if he wakes up and starts crying you can come get me. And if he wakes up and is happy and fine just feed him a bottle there's a bunch in the fridge, he's been eating good so he probably won't throw up or anything just burp him and if you get nervous or anything just wake me okay?" "yeah man totally go sleep I'm sure will have fun together." He smiled. "Whenever you wake up well figure out the dinner plans k?" I stood up and nodded. "K" I smiled then walked off to take my nap. ***** 53 ***** I woke up and yawned. I felt amazing from the nap and wanted to just lay there in bed forever but then I remembered mikey and Nathan. I glanced at the clock and saw it was four o'clock shit! I've been asleep for almost three hours. I jumped out of bed and frantically ran downstairs. The sight before me as I reached the living room wasn't really what I was expecting. I saw gerard in my living room holding Nathan and crying while talking to mikey. "mikey I miss him so much and I can't get him back." He whispered shakily. I was interested in what he was talking about so I stayed back on the stairwell out of sight to listen. "Gee come on that's why were gonna go out to eat. so you two can talk." Mikey said. "But mikes what if he doesn't want me back." He said and I saw a tear roll down his cheek. "Fuck I love him so much it hurts and now he lost his mom and has Nathan. If we were together I could help him and it'd be like we were a family" he whispered again "gee that chance is still there-" "mikey I fucking blew it okay. I should've just had the balls to ask him in the first place before we broke up. I was a fucking chicken and I ruined it." He spat out Suddenly nathan began crying loudly and gerard freaked out. "Fuck mikey what'd I do!?" "Shh gee I'm sure he's fine just uh rock him or something." Mikey said nervously i walked into the living room then and smiled. "Hes actually probably just hungry." "Frank?" They both said at the same time sharing nervous looks wondering how long I'd been there. "Yea sorry I slept so long but I'm kind of trained now to wake up when I hear crying so when he cries I'm up...." I trailed off looking at my feet. I glanced up and saw gerard was just staring at me. "you want to feed him?" I asked. He just awkwardly nodded at me. I went to grab a bottle and heard him whispering nervously to mikey and mikey telling him to calm down. I wasn't really mad at gerard anymore just hurt. Plus I want to figure out what he meant when he said he blew his chance and should've just asked. Asked what? I mean what question is there? "here hold him like this." I said fixing Nathan in Gerard's arms when I returned from the kitchen. "And just keep the bottle tilted." I smiled. Gerard looked at nathan nervously like if he were to make the wrong move Nathan would suddenly die or dissapear. Slowly he began to feed Nathan and after a minute he was calm and smiling as he watched Nathan drink. "So what do you guys want to do for dinner?" Mikey asked. "You guys want pizza?" I suggested. "I mean don't you want to get out frank? Like go somewhere instead of pizza?" Mikey asked. "Well it doesn't matter to me it was just a suggestion whatever you guys wanna do is fine." I said quietly. I did want to get out but every time now that I go out with Nathan I get dirty looks from people whi think I'm some low life single teen dad. "If frank wants pizza we'll do pizza, mikes we can go out another night." Gerard said giving mikey a weird look. Mikey nodded and went to order the food. ---------- "okay Nathan should be down for a while now maybe until morning." I said glancing at the clock which read two am. Mikey and gerard kept saying they wanted to stay and help and basically wouldn't let me say no so they were still here and spent the day doing little tasks all over the house while I played with Nathan and some of his newer toys. "wanna watch movies?" Mikey asked now that everything was done. I nodded and he put on a movie id never seen. Before I sat though I took a small blanket and put it over Nathan in the swing so he'd stay warm and made sure there were no toys in the swing he could grab or possibly eat while I was sleeping. after I decided he was good for the night I climbed onto the couch and under the blanket gerard was using. He looked at me confused as to what I was doing. I snuggled up to his side and layed my head on his chest, then fixed the blanket so it was over both of us. "I missed you." I said and then wrapped my arms around his waist. After a moment he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and right before I fell asleep I felt him place a kiss on my forehead. ***** 54 ***** When I woke up I was still snuggled into Gerard's side but he was awake. He was holding a remote in the hand that wasn't wrapped around me and he was flicking through the channels on the tv. "Hey gee." I yawned. He jumped a little not realizing I had woken up but quickly recovered. "Hey frank." He smiled. "Where mikes?" I asked tiredly. "He went home, he said he was bored of watching tv and the baby was asleep so there was nothing for him to do." "oh shit speaking of baby I've got to feed Nathan." I said jumping up off the couch. I walked over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle then walked over to the swing where Nathan was still sound asleep. I unbuckled his straps and picked him up gently. "Hey buddy." I smiled softly but he still started crying and kicking his feet from being woken up. "Shhh I know, I know buddy I like sleep too, but you gotta eat." I said walking back over to the couch. i sat next to gerard and began feeding Nathan. "so how come you decided to stay?" I asked trying not to make the conversation awkward but I was curious. "I uh-well I wanted to talk to you actually." He mumbled quietly. "about." I yawned. Gerard awkwardly scratched his neck and bit his lip before speaking. "Will you take me back." "What? gerard are you being-" "I'm sorry I asked I guess you're still pissed." He cut me off then went to stand up. "Gerard if I wasn't holding Nathan I'd slap you, now sit down." I laughed "I wasn't saying no I was just asking if you were serious." "Why wouldn't I be?" He asked confused. "Well I have Nathan now and stuff and I don't know I just wanted to make sure" I told him. "What does having Nathan have anything to do with us being together? Or more so why would it make me love you any less?" He questioned. "Well I mean y'know.... every time I go out with Nathan now I already get treated like shit because people think I'm some stupid teen dad and then putting a gay couple with a baby just makes for hate remarks. I wasn't sure you'd want that, and I mean I don't like going out with Nathan because if I run into people who know me they don't stop just because I have a baby now." I said shyly. "What do you mean people who know you?" He asked "what are you talking about?" I pulled the now empty bottle out of Nathan's mouth and put him in one of those circle carts with toys around the edges that he can bounce and roll in, and then went and sat back down next to gee. i started to cry because I hated even thinking about this. "People who know me...are old clients." I whispered "gerard it's so fucking humiliating seeing them and especially with the baby." I said my voice cracking. Gerard looked utterly worried now and was staring intently at me urging me to keep speaking. "they're fucking animals. They don't care where we are either." I said then wiped my eyes before explaining. "I was at a fucking baby store the other day with Nathan shopping for new clothes when I ran into a client. He was there with his own fucking wife who was pregnant! And you know what he still did?" I asked. "He fucking left his wife saying he was going to look for something then came and found me. He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and tried to slide his hands into my pants and kept telling me how much he missed my dick. It was disgusting and when he stared kissing me in front of Nathan I wanted to die. I know he won't be able to remember it when he's older but it was still so horrible. That's why I wasn't sure if you'd even want me back, and especially with a baby because people still crawl all over me where ever I go and I still get treated like a slut." "Frank I love you and Nathan, people make mistakes and you can't change what you used to do but those people who would touch you when they have their own wife and famy are the sluts." He said calmingly. "don't let them make you think that you're below them because you not. I doubt any of them could handle what you've went through and still be so strong for yourself and nathan." He said "frank I wouldn't lie to you about that and I'm being 100% serious when I say I love you and I really want to be together." "Gee I-" "frank will you be my boyfriend?" He asked I thought for a moment and wasn't sure what to say but when I glanced up and met his gaze, I could see in his eyes he was being serious and I knew what my answer would be. "yes gee I will." I said hugging him. "you just made me so happy, I missed you so much" he smiled with watery eyes. "I meant it last night when I said I missed you too, I just- I never thought you'd want me back." I admited "Frank I never wanted to let you go." ***** 55 ***** ***2 weeks later*** "Fuuuuuuck gee." I groaned biting into my hand while he fingered me. "Frank you're so fuckig tight just around my fingers, how longs it been?" "S-since we broke u-uhhh oh my god gee." I moaned. "Shhh Frankie be quiet you'll wake the baby up." He smirked down at me. "You ready?" He asked rubbing my lower stomach. I nodded and he leant down to kiss me while he pushed in. I gasped loudly not having done anything sexual at all in the nine months since we broke up. After i got nathan i became to exhausted to even jack off anymore so I felt like I was in heaven. I don't even know how we got to this sex anyway. ******** We went out to buy more formula at a local grocery store, but of course what I was worried about happened. People kept giving us weird looks and dirty glares which made me feel low while gerard didn't seem to notice it until a kind lady walked over to us. "Excuse me but how long are you going to be here I need to get some stuff from over here." She said rudely. "Oh I'm sorry are we blocking you?" Gerard asked sincerely and began to move when she rolled her eyes and opened her mouth again. "No but youre in this aisle." "What does that have any-" "gee let's just grab our stuff and go." I mumbled quietly getting very upset. "Why don't you listen to your husband." The lady said "he's my boyfriend." Gerad said still completley clueless "Oh great you two aren't even married and have a baby how wonderful" "what the hells your problem?" Gerard snapped, becoming more frustrated "My problem is I'm here with my kids to buy stuff and my daughter is asking questions I don't want to hear because of you two!" She yelled in Gerard's face "what could she be asking that's so bad?!" He yelled back. "Why does that baby have two dads? Mommy why don't I have two dads? I don't want her to ask that who would?!" The lady exclaimed. "Anyone but your homophobic ass! Frank let's go." He said pushing the cart with our stuff and Nathan towards the exit but not before yelling a strong fuck you at the lady completley ignoring the fact that her kid was right there. I was crying by the time we got to the car and just sat in the back with Nathan watching him play with a new bottle still wrapped in packaging. Its amazing to just see how everything entertains him. No matter what it is it makes him happy. It makes me want to be a baby again and just have everything be new again. Nothing with any bad memories attached just all new Like a fresh start. *********** "Frank?" gerard asked pulling out of me. "Huh? Why'd you stop?" I asked confused. "Frank you're out of it and laying there lifeless you're not even hard anymore.... what's wrong?" He asked placing a kiss to my nose. "I'm fine I just-I keep thinking of earlier. I warned you people would treat us like shit." "hey come on I told you let it go- it's not anything important. Just some asshole who can't keep their mouth shut nothing to worry about." "Yea but what about what Nathan gets bigger? Then what? he'll be made fun of constantly for having either a single dad or a gay couple for parents. I dont want him to be made fun of because of me or have to deal with same shit we did today sooner or later he's gonna be able to remember this stuff." "We'll get to that when that day comes okay?" "Alright fine" I sighed. "And uh sorry for ruining your night y'know..." I said gesturing to how we were laying together naked and I basically just ruined his sex drive. "Frank this relationship isn't revolved around sex. I mean we already have a baby when we aren't even able to get pregnant in the first place." He joked trying to make me laugh. "Yea I'm gonna go check on him." I said throwing on some boxers and walking into the nursery. Nathan was awake kicking his feet and smiling as soon as he saw me. "What's up little man?" I smiled picking him up and holding him in my arms. "Awee look at my two handsome men." Gerard chuckled from the doorway. "I know were both so handsome I'm sure I look wonderful." "You do." He said kissing my head. "You always do." "What's with all the compliments?" I asked. He's been complimenting me on everything and taking care of me more than normal. Like watching over everything I do. "What am I not allowed to compliment you?" He asked with a fake hurt tone. "No, no I like it but How come all of sudden more of them? Did I suddenly turn ten times better looking?" "You'll see why I'm complimenting you tomorrow." He smiled. "Now let's feed Nathan and get some sleep okay beautiful?" ***** 56 ***** "He's so cute though man I mean look at him." Mikey said as he held Nathan in his lap. The waiter walked over and aw'd over Nathan before she took our orders. Gerard, me, Mikey, and Mikey and Gerard's friends Chase and Camden who were brothers were out to eat at a quiet but nice restaurant. "yea just don't drop him mikey okay" I joked and leaned against Gerard's shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my own shoulder and kissed my head and we stayed like that just talking about random things until our food arrived. I got spaghetti same as Gerard and Mikey, chase, and cam all split a pizza. Nathan was just sitting in his height chair or more so in his carrier on top of the hight chair. He was being really good throughout the dinner and he's not really afraid of strangers so he didn't cry when anyone wanted to hold him which I was happy about. "Hey frank can he eat pizza?" Chase asked. "Dude he's only like two and a half months old so what do you think?" I replied sarcastically. "Well what can he eat?" Cam asked. "Uh you could try and give him a piece of the cheese but a really small piece." Chase ripped some cheese off his own piece of pizza down to a little square and put it in Nathan's hands. He looked at it for a while before he decided to try and put it in his mouth and see if he could get away with it. He managed to make it in his mouth and began sort of chewing it before he smiled and kicked his feet. "I think he likes it." Gerard laughed. "Great cause he's going to be eating a lot of it since I can't cook for shit." I said and everyone laughed. "Gee you ready?" Mikey asked picking up Nathan and handing him to Gerard who set him between us on the booth. "Ready for what?" I asked. Mikey just smirked and pulled out his phone and so did chase and Camden. "why are you guys recor-" "Frankie." Gerard said grabbing my hands in his. "these assholes said they had to record it so thanks for the extra pressure guys" he laughed and then looked at me who still had know idea what was going on. "I know you're eighteen and I'm twenty six but frank I love you okay. The age doesn't matter and the fact that you're a dad now doesn't matter either I love Nathan just as much you." He smiled looking at Nathan then back to me. "I want to be in his life as much as you, as the other dad....god dammit, I guess what I'm trying to say is frank will you marry me?" He asked then pulled a black box out of his pocket revealing a ring. I was literally frozen in shock. Gerard was asking me to marry him? This man wants to be with me in a solid relationship for real. not just as some hook or some one month thing. For life. I started crying before I even answered and couldn't speak I was at such a loss for words. "Frank?" Gerard asked nervously looking me. I guess he couldn't tell whether the crying was good or bad thing. I wiped my eyes and began nodding my head smiling and laughing for air. "yes?" He asked quietly I nodded again and finally calmed myself down enough to speak. "Yes." Everyone at the table cheered and even all the staff and other guests who had been watching were clapping for us. I leaned over Nathan and placed a kiss to Gerard's lips. When we finally pulled back I noticed he was crying too. he smiled and placed the ring on my finger. It was beautiful. It was silver with a small black diamond on it. I smiled and then picked up Nathan. "Meet your new dad buddy." I said handing him over to Gerard who held him against his chest then placed a kiss on his cheek. ***** 57 ***** ***one and a half years later*** "daddy!!!!! Daddy wake up!!" Nathan whined as he jumped on mine and gees bed. "Shh hey buddy daddy's up, daddy's up what's wrong?" I asked him rubbing my eyes and saw Gerard shifting a bit to look at him obviously having been woken up too. "I-I" he mumbled. "You what baby?" Gerard asked him. "I peed my bed...." He whispered upset. We'd been trying to potty train him and now he gets really mad at himself when he can't hold it and accidentally goes. "Nate it's okay." I smiled at him reassuringly. "N-no it's not! Cause now I'm not a b-big boy." He mumbled starting to cry. I picked up my phone and saw it was only four am. "Nathan you're the best big boy I know, now how about you lay down with me and daddy it's still early and then in a little bit we can go somewhere to eat?" I suggested since neither me nor gee have work. Nate nodded and snuggled up between us and fell back asleep. "He's so cute." Gee mumbled "yea and he's all ours." I smiled. "I really hope the adoption clearances come through soon." He sighed. See me and Gerard still aren't married. Living together and raising a kid yes but not married. we've both been working a lot to raise money for the wedding and Nathan so we haven't really had a chance to get married yet. We do want to have an actual wedding and reception like a normal couple and have already started making a guest list but we still need money for all this to happen, and while we love Nate he still takes a lot of work and money. especially since my asshole father hasn't been paying child support like we agreed. Luckily we aren't paying for day care because Mikey offers to watch him every other day for us while we're at work. Me and Mikey are back to being as close as we were in high school and I'm very grateful for that. "gee you know you're his dad. It doesn't matter what the papers say or when they come you're his dad not anyone else." "I know." **************************** "daddy play me in tic tax toe!!" Nathan begged me while we were out waiting for our food. "it's tic tac toe Nathan and okay." I said filling a box in with an o.   Finally our food came and we began eating which kept Nathan quiet for the time being, but once he finished and me and Gerard were still eating he began to throw a fit. "Daddy I want to leave!" "Nate calm down well leave as soon as daddy's done eating." Gee said calmly "I wanna leave now!" He screamed. "Nathan stop that you know better." Gerard scolded him. Nathan got mad that he had been yelled at and then started to cry. Very obnoxiously. As me and Gerard tried to calm him down a kind man walked over from his booth next to ours. "Why don't you just leave or give the kid to his damn mother." He grumbled "I'm sorry but are you his parents?" I snapped. "No but neither are you so I suggest you leave so we all don't have to listen to the thing cry all morning." "I'm sorry for the interruption but he's a kid. Kids cry and we are his parents and were trying to calm him down so if you could kindly leave now that'd be great." I said coldly "no wonder he's crying he's got a couple of faggots as parents." the guy said bitterly. "Y'know what fuck you man. So what if I'm gay I'm still his dad and he's still my kid so fuck off he's my kid and I'll raise him how I want not you so if he wants to keep crying until we leave I'll let him just to piss you off." I said staring the guy down until he left. Nathan did stop crying after we promised to take him to the store and let him pick out one thing but of course our waiter walked back to our table making things worse. "I'm sorry but we've been getting complaints from other customers and were going to have to ask you to leave." She said quietly obviously being told she had to be the one that kicked us out. "fuck this place." I shouted angrily. "Nathan come here." I said and then picked him up while gerard grabbed the baby bag and we stormed out. "Fucking homophobes." I spat as we pulled out of the parking lot. "What's a home-e-phobe daddy?" Nathan asked from his car seat. "It's someone that doesn't like people who are different." I said not going into detail. "I like different daddy is that bad?" He asked confused. "No Nathan you're perfect just the way you are buddy." Gee said ***** 58 ***** ***one and a half years later summertime*** i made sure I had restocked all the shelves of their CDs and equipment and went back behind the register. I was still working at the melody music shop after getting a few promotions to head manager and my paycheck was a lot nicer nowadays. Gerard was currently doing his own thing and got a job teaching at a special needs school which also pays a lot better. We were having our wedding finally and it was next month. All of our payments were to be due by the end of next week for all the catering and other expenses. My paycheck comes tomorrow and gerard will be receiving his today so well be all set to pay. We'd been saving up for a while and I couldn't wait to put all the money to good use. Eventually after what had seemed like forever since the shop was so empty it was lunch break. "John I'm leaving for break take over front counter!" I yelled since I knew if I didn't tell him he'd stay in the bathroom and smoke the whole time I was gone. I heard him grunt but after a minute of me waiting he finally came out and sat down on the counter. "Aye aye captain." He said sarcastically "alright man cya in and hour or so." I called as I walked out. I heard him yell a bye and than began to chose a place to eat. I ended up walking to a convenience store and bought a box of peanut better and jelly un-crustables. I ate the whole box of them which contained six and then found the nearest bathroom so I could rinse out my mouth with this fancy ass mouthwash. We had recently learned that Nathan is allergic to peanuts and few other things like most other people in the world and until he got older and built up some form of immunity to them in his system we had to be careful not let him get near anything or get anything on his skin. In any way. even if I'm just giving him a kiss on the cheek the food will transfer and his throat will swell up. Just when I was on my way back to work I got a call from Mikey. "Hey mikes what's up?" I answered normally. "Dude I don't know what's wrong with Nathan I'm really worried and called 911 already." "WHAT!? What happened!!!???" I screamed into the phone. "I don't know-frank I swear he was fine all day and- and then he-" Mikey trailed off and I could tell he was crying. "Mikey what happened what did he do?!" "He started twitching and shaking and fell to the ground and he's still twitching and when I called 911 they said he might be having a seizure frank I'm scared." He whimpered. I literally felt like I was going to have a heart attack. My whole life besides Gerard was having a seizure and going to the hospital. "Mikes what hospital are they taking him to I'll meet you there?" I asked frantically. "There taking him to children's downtown on 8th ave. He was-" Mikey stopped talking and I heard other voices in the background. "frank I gotta go the ambulance is here do you want me to call gee?" "No-no I call him you just take of Nathan for me please Mikey." I said starting to cry. "I promise" and then he hung up. ----------- I was sobbing into gees side as we sat in the waiting room. He was holding me tight and Mikey was sitting across from us staring. "I'm so sorry." He mumbled starting to shake. Gerard let go of me and went to kneel in front of Mikey. "Mikey look at me. Mikes come on look at me, none of this is your fault you hear me. If I was home with him when whatever this was happened I would feel like it was my fault too but we can't control his body and what it decided to do." "I just feel like I have to had done something wrong to make him do that like I set it off somehow." "don't think that way Mikey it's no ones fault."gee said calmly mikey sheepishly looked up at up at me and I nodded. "Mikes it's not your fault you already said he didn't eat anything he wasn't supposed to and he didn't do anything out of the ordinary it's just his body." the nurse in the waiting room called us over and said we had to go to room 305 and Nathan would be in there along with his doctor. We walked in and he was out cold and hooked up to a few machines. Even though none of them were huge or anything it's just terrifying to see your kid in a hospital bed. "Ah hello please have a seat." The doctor said so we did. "Okay so before any questions are asked let me explain a few things first. Nathan here did have a seizure. We were able to control it and he was awake a few minutes ago when we did testing and no brain damage seemed to be done. We believe though because he is so young and because his mother was a drug abuser that he may have epilepsy. It's a seizure condition where the person has multiple seizures frequently." he said "frequently is lightly used though. They could be as often as three a day or three a year. Nathan will be able to take medication to control this and as soon as I get your basic health insurance info I'll be able to write a prescription for you guys okay?" All of us nodded and no one asked any questions. But then one hit me like a truck. I don't have health insurance. My mom never paid and I never wanted to be anywhere near a hospital so I just never got it again. I looked at Gerard. "Gee I don't have any." I whispered. "What?" He asked "health insurance." "We can use mine it should cover him." He smiled "don't worry." Gerard gave all the information they asked and we sat on the room watching Nathan. After about fifteen minutes a nurse walked in. "I'm sorry to interrupt but is there any other insurance you have for us to use?" She asked Gerard. "No that's my health insurance card why?" "Well Nathan's not covered by it, it says he's not your kid, or more so he's not on it." "What? Why?" "well if he's your adopted son did you sign him up for it on the papers?" "Shit!" Gerard groaned. "The papers aren't in yet what else can we use for him?" He asked. "you'd have to pay cash or credit card for him to be released then..." She trailed off. "How much is it?" I asked. "With the medicine and hospital costs it's going to be around $23,000." "What! That's our whole wedding budget!" I cried. "Shit really it's that much?" Gee asked "yes special doctors and special medicine had to be administered because he's allergic to some of the things in the common medicine." She said. "Alright can checks work?" Gee sighed. "Yes checks are fine." She answered Gee finished writing the check and handed it to her. "Here goes our whole wedding" he whispered. ***** 59 ***** I laid in bed doing absolutely nothing. I haven't moved from this spot in days and i haven't eaten in almost a week either. Gerard's been concerned and tried to motivate me to get up but after he leaves for work I go back to the bed and don't move. I feel depressesed constantly and my suicidal thoughts have started to come back. I know gee can tell and that's why he's worried. He won't even leave Nathan home with me by myself so Mikey's been living with us to help out. Speaking of Nathan "daddy!!!" He screamed runing into the room and jumping ontop of me. "Daddy I wanna play! M won't play with me!" He cried using Mikey's nickname since he can't actually say mikey. "shit Nathan come out of there! You'll wake him-" mikey stopped mid sentence when he saw I was in fact awake. "See m don't wanna play and I want you anyway!" He pleaded "no Nathan." I said rudely. "whyyyyyyy" he whined "because I fucking don't okay!" I yelled and scared him. He jumped off me and ran as fast as he could out of the room trying not to cry. Mikey ran after him and after about five minutes he came back in and locked the door behind him. "That was fucking cold frank." He said seriously. "That's your fucking kid and your gonna treat him like that?! He wanted to play because I was busy cleaning his mess up from earlier and you had to scream at him?! What the hells your problem you could've just said no!" I didnt respond i just glared at him. "you know what frank you're on a downward spiral and once you hit rock bottom gerard can't save you anymore. He's saved you countless times and in my honest opinion for Nathan's sake I think he should take him and leave. He's being more of a father than you right now and it makes me sick to see you moping around because you think you're special." "I don't think I'm-" "frank get over yourself man! I'm going to be completley honest with you because if you don't get your shit together gerard will leave and take Nathan with him. You. aren't. fucking. special. at all. Oh your kid has epilepsy? well guess what! gerard is his dad too! Gerard's kid has epilepsy too Nathan's not just yours! But Gerard's not home turning into a wreck he's out working his ass off for you! Just think about that before you let your life turn to total shit." he said and then slammed the door on the way out. Ouch. -------- "Frankie are you up?" I heard Gerard's voice call. "Yeah." I said and he opened the bedroom door and walked in. "K I just didn't want to wake you." gerard said and then he set his stuff down on the dresser and changed out of his work clothes. He didnt say anything else and just laid down on the bed. He looked at me for a minute before shaking his head and crawling under the covers facing away from me. "Gee what's wrong?" I asked. "Nothing we'll talk later." He said almost sadly "gee are you sur-" "frank please just stop. We'll talk later." He said with putting empathis on the later. fuck ***** 60 ***** When I woke up gerard wasn't in bed and I could hear mumbled talking from the kitchen. I stood up and walked quietly until I was stood in the hall out of sight from whoever was in there. I was trying to make out the voices because I could definitely hear more than Mikey and Gerard. "Gee really? You think that's a good idea?" Okay that voice was definitely Mikey talking. "God I just.. I can't just go off of my gut about how he's going to act and that's what worries me." And there was Gerard's voice... "Mr. Way the purpose of me here is to talk to you two isn't it?" A foreign voice said "if Mr. Iero is having all these difficulties maybe you should send him to therapy before planning this all out. He might not want this. I mean the way you talk about him it seems like his opinion on things could go either way." Who the hell was this? I heard gerard sigh "gee I think he's right." Mikey said. "Mikey we can't fucking afford therapy! we're spending the money on this and that's final. " geard said bitterly. "I don't give a shit how he reacts. If he hates it then ill do what you said mikey, but I'm praying he'll like it..love it maybe." "Gerard you're really gonna see his reaction before you leave? What if he only likes it in the moment and then afterwards he goes back downhill? He's scaring the shit out of Nathan every time he tries to talk to him, and he's putting you through hell daily." Mikey said "Mikey I really don't want to loose him okay. I know in my head the right thing to do is leave and take Nathan away from him, but I can't. I know if I leave he will end up dead and I can't live with that. I want him in my life and this is my last shot I'm just hoping it's enough." Gerard said and by the tone of his voice it sounded like he was crying. "thank you for coming and just go off what I gave you okay? Don't try and contact frank it may not be the best idea. The date is still tomorrow and just do what you do best. we'll be there on time for it I promise." "Okay Mr. Way I'll see you tomorrow." The foreign voice said and I heard the front door shut. "Wow gee...." "Mikey just please..please at least support me no matter how it ends. I really need you to be there for me right now no matter how wrong you think I am." I heard Gerard say desperately. "Gerard I'm going to support you no matter what and even though I'm not totally sure about this plan of yours I'll stick by your side." "Thank you Mikey." Gerard whispered but still loud enough for me to hear. "I'm going to go see if he woke up yet, can you check on Nathan for me." Gerard asked. Im guessing Mikey nodded because I didn't hear a verbal response. I ran back into our room before he saw me in the hallway and realized I'd been listening. I wasn't sure what the conversation was really about but I knew I wasn't meant to hear it. I ran into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I quickly stripped myself of my clothes and sat down on the floor pulling my knees to my chest letting the hot water pour over my back. It burned but it felt good, it was sort of a distraction. I needed a distraction from my mind but even the burning wasn't enough I stillcouldn't help repaying the words I had heard in my head. "We can't afford therapy." "I know the right thing is to leave and take Nathan." "he scares Nathan and puts you through hell daily." "I know if I leave he'll end up dead and I can't live with that" i started to cry, and I almost instantly felt light headed. I hadn't drank any water and crying wasn't helping me feel any better. I was already way past dehydrated but I didn't care. I just kept crying. I tried to say quiet but the more I thought the louder and more heart wrenching my sobs became. "Frankie?" I heard Gerard's voice from the other side of the curtain. "G-go a-away please." I whispered. "D-don't come I-in." "Frank what's going on are you okay?" He asked ripping the curtain open revealing me a crumpled mess on the floor. "frank?" I just sat there not knowing what to do or say. I didn't want to mention tomorrow because then he'd figure out I had eavesdropped and I wasn't totally sure myself that I wanted to know what was going to happen tomorrow. ***** 61 ***** When I woke up I felt horrible. Gerard had tried to drag me out of the shower but I kept yelling at him and we got into a pretty big fight. It ended pretty badly too. /Flashback/ "daddy?" Nathan asked running into our room obviously being woken up from his nap by our screaming, only wearing a pull up and holding a stuffed animal in one hand. I guess me and gerard just didn't want to stop yelling at each other over basically nothing and mikey had went to buy something a couple minutes ago so no one was watching nathan. "frank I'm trying to help you can you not be an ass!" Gee yelled "I don't want your help I'm fine!" I yelled back not wanting to hear any of his bullshit "you're a fucking whore! You won't even listen to me anymore! You need help!" He screamed "you're crying for no reason in a five hundred degree shower! something's wrong!" "daddy?!" Nathan yelled a little louder this time trying to get our attention. "Fuck you I'm not a whore! I'm fine!" I said with tears streaming down my face. "thats all you ever were! A stupid fucking who-" "DADDY!" Nathan finally screamed and gerard stopped mid sentence and turned to Nathan. "SHUT THE FUCK UP DADDYS BUSY!" Geard screamed angrily scaring me and Nathan. Gerard almost instantly realized what hed done and ran over to Nathan to apologize but Nathan just ran and locked himself in his room. Geard came stomping back to our room and then he did something I'd never expect. He hit me. He slapped me hard and then spat in my face "this is all your fucking fault." He hissed and then went to bed without saying anything. I didnt want want to sleep with him or even be near him at that point I was so upset, so I left the house and went to an old motel where I used to have clients come to meet me. I got a room and then went to bed after crying. Because he was right this was all my fault. /present time/ I just laid on the shitty motel bed watching tv and wallowing in self pity. I just kept thinking about what he said. How it was my fault and how I was a whore. I'm not a whore is what I keep telling myself but I know in reality I am. I've probably fucked more men than Hugh Hefner has fucked girls. I don't even know why Gerard would go near my junk or want to fuck me other than to just simply get off. Not because he loves me not because he wants to bond just because he needs a whore to make him feel good. my phone ringing threw me out of my thoughts. "Hello?" "Frank where are you?!" A very worried sounding Gerard asked frantically. "I don't know, a place." I said expressing no emotion. "Frankie please where are you I need you to come home." He asked again. "Hm that sucks." I said not paying any attention to him. "Frank I know your mad but please come home so I can make it up to you." He begged. When he said that a little fuse went off in my head making me angry and hurt. "What are you going to do to make it up? Fuck me like the whore you said I was" the line was silent for a minute before I heard crying "frank you have no idea how sorry I am just please believe me and come home." "why do you need me home so bad?" I asked. "Shit-I..frank if you aren't home by five tonight I can't make it up to you.." He said sounding defeated. "What there's a time limit on how long I'm allowed to be mad now?!" I asked getting annoyed. "frank you don't understand. Just please come home I promise I can make it up to you." He pleaded "why? Maybe I'll just chill where I am and go test out how rusty my hooker skills are. Maybe find some random dude with a big dick to fuck me for a couple bucks since y'know I'm a whore and all" "Frank don't even fucking joke about that." He said seriously. "Why? What's its matter? I know our relationships done. I know you want to take Nathan and leave but you won't because you're scared I'll kill myself and you can't live with the guilt and my kid." I snapped. "..you...you heard me..." "Yep almost all of you and Mikey's conversation." "Is..is that why you were crying and didn't want me to help you out of the shower." He asked quietly. "Yep." "Fuck. " he said and then I just heard crying for a while before he spoke again. "I fucked up big time and I don't blame you for hating me. But you have to come home. I can't do anything except say I'm sorry over the phone and if you come home I promise frank, I promise I'll make it up to you, no matter what it takes. Just please come home for me- no don't even come home for me come home for Nathan or hell even Mikey but just know I'm sorry and I really want to fix this" he said his voice cracking multiple times "I'm sorry frank I really am." he said and then I hung up. I looked at the clock. '2:37 pm' two and a half hours till five ***** 62 ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes At three o'clock I deided to at least go home and see what his way of 'making it up to me' was. i went to check out of the shitty motel and I regretted it when I saw the guy working the front desk when I entered the lobby. His name is Derek and back when I was a hooker after I'd finish with a client I'd normally fuck him so I didn't have to pay for the motel. I sighed but walked up anyway to check out and pay as quickly as I could. "Well damn fun ghoul I haven't seen you around here in ages. You haven't found a new motel have you?" He asked smirking at me obviously thinking about getting fucked, and how I probably just finished up with some other guy. I felt chills run down my spine at the name fun ghoul which I hadn't heard in a while, or at least not in person. I still get texts from people asking to meet up that use the name and since I'm not paying to change my number I just have to ignore it. Luckily no ones tried to hunt me down after I didn't respond to them and probably think i just got caught by the police or killed by some pervert. I glared up at Derek and spoke. "No I haven't found a new motel I just haven't needed to use this one and won't ever have to again." "So why are you here? Was this like your last fuck?" He asked blatantly. "no." I said sternly "so what was it, why are you here if you're not banging anyone?" I felt my blood boil at the fact that he thinks I only go to a motel if I'm fucking someone, but when I think about it I can't blame him, I gave myself that reputation. "I just needed to get away and this was the first place I thought of. That's it. I wasn't fucking anyone." I said staring him in the eye. "Shit so you don't need a free night?" He asked sadly looking at me in a still flirty way. "No Derek I have money to pay for the night." I said taking out my wallet and of course with my fucking luck a condom fell out. It was from back when I was out at a party with Gerard a few weeks back. I quickly tried to pick it up but he saw. "Well you also have a condom to pay me in another way." He smirked. "Derek I have a fucking family now and a kid I'm not selling my ass for money anymore,I got a job and I'm paying you with money." I snapped "Yea you got a family. Good one." he laughed. "So wanna go in the back?" "Derek I'm being serious either take the money or I'm leaving without giving you shit." "Hmmmm.." He said like he was thinking. "Dude fuck you." I said turning away. "I know you want to" he called after me and I just flipped him off. I walked out to the car crying feeling no different than if I actually had fucked someone. i sat in the car for a minute in the drive way. I looked up at my childhood home which was now my child's home. Technically my child at least. I honestly think that Nathan, whether I really want to admit it or not was the main reason I wanted to come back from the motel and give Gerard another chance. nate is my brother but in my heart he'll always be my kid. If Gerard did take him away from me I probably would kill myself. No matter how mad I am at Gerard he still holds half my heart and Nathan holds the other half, and I can't live with only half a heart, but I can still be mad and hurt at one side of it.. I sighed and then took a deep breath before getting out of the car and walking to the door. I took the hidden key out of the mailbox and went to unlock the door. I unlocked it and walked in on Gerard crying extremely loud, tears and snot flowing down his face and Mikey trying to calm him down. Every time Mikey tried to touch Gerard to comfort him, Gerard just swatted his hand away and kept crying louder. I didn't know how to let them know I was here so I kicked off my shoes and shut the door loudly. They both looked up at the noise and when they saw it was me they both looked shocked. Mikey sat staring while Gerard flew off the couch and engulfed me in a hug crying and burying his head into my neck chanting little 'you came back, you came backs' in his cries. i awkwardly didn't hug back because I was still mad and he noticed. he pulled off and frowned looking like he was ready to start crying again when he saw my reaction. *cough, cough* "uhm I'm gonna leave you guys alone for a while, I'll just be on a walk near by if you need me." Mikey said awkwardly walking out through the side door and onto the street. I looked up at Gerard who looked, well he looked like shit to be honest. "where's Nathan?" I asked quietly. Gerard squeezed his eyes shut and a few tears fell before he spoke. "He's been in his room all day crying. H-he won't open the door for me, or Mikey. He fucking hates me now." instead of saying that Nathan doesn't hate him I just walked past him and went back to Nathan's room. I knocked quietly on the door and was shocked by Nathan's voice. "GO AWAY! I DONT LIKE YOU NO MORE!" He screamed. "buddy it's me." I said back. He was quiet for a few minutes before I heard him unlock the door and he opened it just enough to see out into the hall and tell if it really was me. "Daddy said you weren't coming back." He whispered. "Well I'm here." I smiled. Nathan smiled back and ran into my arms asking me to hold him. I picked him up and walked back out to living room. Gerard saw I had managed to get Nathan out of his room and his jaw dropped. however when Nathan saw him he got mad and tried to hide himself in my side telling me he didn't want to see daddy. I sat down on the couch across from Gerard and placed Nathan in my lap but he turned his back to Gerard and wrapped his front around me. pouting and making it obvious he was mad at Gerard by the hmph noise he made when he crossed his arms. Gerard was was just staring at Nathan looking hurt so I spoke up. "Well?" Gerard looked up at me confused so I kept talking. "You told to come home so you could make it up to me and that even if I hated you to come home for Nathan. I'm here for Nathan but you have ten minutes to make it up and convince me to stay or I'm done Gerard. I can't take your outbursts of anger anymore and you fucking hit me. That was beyond low to hit me like I was nothing at all. So I'm here now and if you want to apologize you better have your fucking thoughts straight." I said bluntly. Gerard looked at the clock then to me. "I was so wrong to yell at you and hit you. I- I know my outbursts are extremely rude and painful but I didn't want to tell you." I looked at him ushering him to continue about whatever he was hiding. "I have paranoia. It's not just being paranoid like everybody else in the world. It's mentally diagnosed that I have paranoia which causes sudden outbursts of anger due to the fact that my mind detaches itself from reality because I have a chronic personality disorder." He sighed and began to cry. "Fuck frank I didn't want you to know but I think you should...I have a messed up head and the paranoia issue was caused by me fucking my head up with drugs constantly before Mikey got me to stop, or really forced me to. He found me passed out after doing heroine and cocaine and while I was knocked out he checked me into a rehab center. I didn't want to tell you because I knew about your mom and I didn't want you to think I was like her and lying about being clean then dying on an overdose. I've been clean for almost 4 years and haven't done any drugs but they've already done their damage to my mind. Im sorry frank" i sat back looking him over and I could see he was terrified about how I would respond to the new found information. "god our family's fucked up." I said and he looked at me. "What?" "Our family is so fucked up. I'm bi-polar and depressed, you have paranoia and Nathan has epilepsy. Could we really have any more mental issues." I questioned to no one basically just talking out loud. Gerard just shrugged and looked at me. "So what happens at five o'clock?" I asked and Gerard's head shot up. "I- uhm..well do you forgive me? I can't really do what happens at five o'clock if you don't...." He asked looking at me with hopeful eyes. I sat there holding nathan and looked at Gerard. "I forgive you, but hear me now this. Is. Your. Last. Chance. After this I'm done Gerard. If you screw up again I'm leaving. I'm eighteen. I still have a chance to go do something with my life and I'm really still just a kid. You're twenty six and if you fuck this up I'm taking my shot at being a kid again." Gerard just smiled at me at me and nodded. "I understand and I promise I won't fuck up. But for five o'clock you have to be dressed up okay?" He asked scared like he was waiting to see if I'd tell him no or something. I nodded and then gestured to Nathan. "What about him?" "Oh he's coming too and he's getting dressed up too. I think he should just wear what we took him to that dinner for work about a month ago if it fits, y'know the one with the tie?" I nodded again and stood up waking Nathan who must've fallen asleep. "I'll go wash him off and get him dressed then I'll get ready. Five right?" Gerard nodded. "Five."   I placed Nathan in the car seat and strapped him in before climbing into the car myself. Nathan was asleep but Gerard said not to wake him up and to just let him sleep. He was dressed up in his little black slacks and dress shoes and a white button up with a fake clip-on red tie. I was almost wearing the same thing as Nathan except my tie was real but it was black. Other than the tie color we matched exactly. Gerard came out of the house and climbed into the car. he was wearing a blue shirt black tie and black pants along with a black dress jacket. "Do you want me to wear a jacket?" I asked pointing to his. He shook his head and told me I looked great. Then he put his keys into ignition and started to drive. After about out five minutes he reached over and grabbed my hand to hold. "You're not wearing your ring?" He asked sounding disappointed. "Shit no it's here." I said taking out my set of keys which I had hooked the ring onto. "I had to take it off earlier and I didn't want to loose it." I said sliding it back on and re-grabbing Gerard's hand to hold. He let me hold it but it was stiff. "Why'd you have to take it off earlier?" He asked sounding like he was trying to stay calm. "Oh I just didn't want to look at it earlier... I was still mad." I said telling the truth. I didn't want to try and sit at the hotel crying over Gerard while the ring was a constant reminder that at one point he did love me and hadn't hit me. "can you tell me where you went." He said staring straight ahead at the road unmoving his head. "I went to a motel-" as soon I said that his hand squeezed onto mine tightly and his words came out barely above a whisper. "Please tell me you didn't." "what?" "Please tell me you didn't do what I think you did. Frank please tell me you didn't." He asked more nervous and a little louder. I stared at him still not understanding. "What?" I asked again. "When we were on the phone you said you were going to try out your hooker skills. Please tell me you didn't." He explained sounding heartbroken. "no!! Gerard I promise I didn't do anything. I was mad but I'd never go back to that just to make you hurt." he just nodded and the rest of the ride was silent except for when Mikey called and Gerard just told him we where on our way. we arrived at a place that looked just like a big rec hall from the outside. Mikey was standing at the door waiting for us dressed up in black pants a silver shirt and a blue tie. "Gerard and Nathan go on in everything's set and I'll send frank in when it's time." He said and Gerard took the still sleeping Nathan from my arms and went inside smiling. "how come I can't go in?" I asked and Mikey just shook his head. "you'll see." After standing outside side for about ten minutes music started playing and Mikey smiled. "That's our queue." he grabbed my arm and walked me inside the hall. I gasped covering my mouth and almost immediately started crying when I saw what it was. It was a wedding. My wedding. The hall was decorated in blue silver and black which is why I'm guessing Gerard and Mikey specifically wore those colors, and there was everyone which we had originally planned to invite in rows standing, before we had to call off the wedding because of Nathan's hospital charges. Mikey walked me down the center aisle between the rows of people and chairs up to Gerard who stood up front smiling and Nathan who was next to him holding the rings that went with our engagement rings on a pillow. I made it to the front and was crying with tears of joy along with Gerard who had a few tears also starting to fall. A man walked out dressed in a fancy suit and began to perform the ceremony. After all the wedding stuff required for us to be married we got to the I do's. "Do you Gerard Arthur Way take Frank Anthony Iero to be your lawfully wedded husband?" "I do." "Do you Frank Anthony Iero take Gerard Arthur Way to be your lawfully wedded husband?" "I do." "May we have the rings please." The man asked and Nathan ran up to him with the pillow smiling. "here!" He yelled and everyone chuckled at his cuteness. "why thank you." The man said to Nathan who just smiled again and nodded. We then placed the rings onto each other's fingers and then came the words I'd been waiting to hear for what seemed like forever. "You may now kiss your husband."   After the initial shock that we were married I smiled and hugged Gerard tightly kissing him as everyone cheered. we walked hand in hand together to the back of the hall and then came back out for the cake which was beautiful. Then we talked to the guests and thanked them for coming. Nathan was running around and dancing to the music in the background and everyone seemed to be having a great time. By the end of the reception I was still in shock. after saying goodbye to the last guests Mikey walked over to me. "surprised?" He asked me smiling. I nodded. "Definitely." Gerard then walked over and kissed me. "did you like it?" He asked smiling at me and at Mikey. I looked between them and nodded. "But-but the price of this-" "don't worry baby I was able to pay the price." Chapter End Notes the end. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!