Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/3523115.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager, Ambiguous_or_Implied_Relationship(s)
  Character:
      Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Eren_Yeager, Hanji_Zoe, Mikasa_Ackerman, Erwin
      Smith, Armin_Arlert, Jean_Kirstein, Marco_Bott, Petra_Ral
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_Gangsters, Drug_Dealing, Gang_Violence, artist!Eren,
      Eren_has_green_hair_for_part_of_it, Mental_Health_Issues, References_to
      Drugs, Angst, Alternate_Universe_-_Modern_Setting, Fluff, Eventual_Smut,
      On_Hiatus
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-03-11 Updated: 2016-08-20 Chapters: 11/? Words: 23275
****** Painted Wings ******
by charlatansandsaints
Summary
     A small town in the definition middle of nowhere, divided by two
     rival gangs, The Wings and the The Keys. The Wings run the larger,
     nicer side of town while the Keys are confined to the slums. Levi, a
     Wing, is a college drop-out turned drug dealer searching for a
     passion. He eventually finds inspiration in the form of a bright
     eyed, highschool artist working his ass off to get out of their
     miserable town and into the school of his dreams. Little does he know
     that his muse just so happens to be a Key. Possibly comparable to
     West Side Story, Romeo & Juliet, etc.
     This is probably going to be riddled with cliches and lame jokes, so
     be prepared. Pretty angsty and serious, but also kinda fun.
     (Revised the summary because the first one sucked.)
Notes
     Suuuuuper short prologue because starting fics is hard. Don't worry,
     the other chapters won't be nearly as short. I was surprised nobody
     took this title for an SNK fic already. At least, I don't think they
     did. I checked around. Probably because it's super basic. Anyway, I
     know this seems really angsty, but it won't be all angst all the
     time. Just sometimes.
     And yes, the quote is from Danny from the Game Grumps, for those in
     the know.
***** Prologue *****
Levi once heard someone say “If you’re old enough to know what you want, and
young enough to have the energy to go out and get it, then you’re good to go.”
And fuck whoever said that. Because it was never that simple, was is? Because
there was always something. Even if you were well off, and even if you had a
loving, supportive family, fate, or God, or whatever puppet-master was pulling
the strings of the universe behind a curtain of bullshit; they could decide to
rip everything out from under you all at once and leave you gasping for air on
a dirty kitchen floor.
Or, they could slowly pick at you bit by bit, sneaking in every now and then
and pulling your life apart from right under your nose until one day, you’re
writhing and screaming without even understanding why.
At the ripe old age of 23, Levi might as well have been 80.
It was hard to remember a time when he wasn’t just going through the motions,
when he had aspirations. Goals to tell him where to go and how to get there. He
had been that person once. Always dark and brooding, but with a constant
flicker of hope burning in his chest. A gleam in his eyes. It was like an
insatiable hunger for the life he’d dreamed he’d live one day and an
indestructible faith in his ability to make it.
And then one day he lost it, or rather, woke up and realized it was gone. As if
fate or God or the puppet-master had just walked in and stole it while he was
asleep. At least, that was how it felt.
In retrospect, it must have been quite obvious. But how could anyone admit that
to themselves? How could they accept that they were the one who let their
dreams slip through their fingers, and then, instead of chasing after them, had
sat down and waved them goodbye? Maybe there was a subtle beauty to it. Maybe
to some, it was a noble defeat. To Levi, it was weakness.
So he spent a good year trying to find it. He was so desperate to get it back.
That fire, that passion for life, or at least for what life could be. But
inevitably, his will to fight died with it, and he gave up trying. But he never
stopped caring. He was never strong enough to let it go, and everyday he
wondered if things would have been different if he had just stuck it out a
little longer. If he had believed the bullshit they fed him.
Levi was never one of those people who could just stop caring. He was trapped
in limbo, standing at the bottom of a trench between hope and despair, clawing
and scrabbling to get to one side or the other. At this point all he wanted was
apathy. Sweet numbness. He was begging for it. Instead, all he got was anger,
confusion, and a frustration so intense it was a wonder he hadn’t ground his
teeth to dust from it. They rode his back and pulled on his limbs, tripping him
every step of the way. The way to what? Levi was sure he didn’t know anymore.
But he had been sure he’d die before he got there.
But, as always, the universe (or whatever is controlling it) has an interesting
way of pitching you curveballs that still somehow manage to hit you squarely in
the face even though you should have expected it by now. Even though this has
been happening all of your life, it still catches you off guard.
Levi had never expected to be thrown a bratty teenager with twice as much fire
in his belly as he had ever had.
***** Save Me From This Planet, They're All Fuckers *****
Chapter Notes
     At last, the first actual chapter (which is still really short).
     Parts of this one get a little long-winded I guess, but I wanted to
     give you a sense of Levi's character, his relationship with Erwin,
     and the town. Anyway, please enjoy.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Tap tap ta-tap tap
The rock Levi had been kicking as he walked skittered out further in front of
him as it made contact with the toe of his boot. He was aware that he must have
looked like some sort of over-grown, pouting child but he couldn’t find it in
himself to care. He figured if anyone had the gall to so much as glance over at
him, he could simply give them his signature scowl and that would be that. Not
that he needed that much of an excuse. With the mood he was currently stewing
in, he’d shoot anyone a burning glare just for blinking.
When Erwin had oh so casually asked him how he’d feel about selling to one of
his previous buyers, he’d immediately grown suspicious. Erwin only had a
handful of them and they were all loaded. So him suddenly gifting one to Levi
for no apparent reason had set off all kinds of red flags.
~*~*~
“So what’s his deal? He a psycho? An ex-cop? A current cop?” Levi raised one
immaculate, black eyebrow as his eyes followed the path Erwin took to reach his
desk. Erwin sat, letting out a tiny, amused chuckle.
“No, Levi. He’s perfectly trustworthy. I’ve been selling to him for years.”
“Yeah, you mentioned that already.” Levi had his arms crossed now, in an I’ve-
had-enough-of-your-shit kind of way and Erwin still regarded him with that same
smug smile that he always wore. “And you don’t deal to just anybody, so why
would you suddenly give up one of the “chosen few”?” Levi made a point to put
air quotes around the words “chosen few” and now it was Erwin’s turn to lift a
questioning eyebrow.
“Look. You can keep all the money you make this time around if you stop asking
questions.”
Levi let his eyes widen for a moment. Normally, he wouldn’t give Erwin the
satisfaction of an external reaction, especially not when he was being a sneaky
bastard, but this actually warranted one. Erwin made point of only selling to
rich folk and Levi was all too aware of just how much he could make off a
single deal. “Why?” It was simple and unwavering.
Erwin didn’t bother to hide his disapproval. He let a single index finger tap
out an irritated tune on the top of his ebony wood desk. Levi’s jaw tightened
at the sound. He wondered if he could burn a hole through that finger if he
stared hard enough. “Last time I checked, ’Why?’ was a question, Levi?”
There was a brief silence then, in which Levi weighed the benefits of putting
up a stronger fight and Erwin admired his heavy, marble pen holder. There was
no true way to win with the “Commander” but Levi was willing bet he could at
least get a scrap of information out of him with some skillful phrasing. “Just
tell me why you’re giving him to me if you don’t want him anymore.”
Technically, it wasn’t a question. It was more of a demand, which Erwin was far
more adept at giving than he was at receiving, but as his business partner,
there were certain things Levi could get away with.
The older man audibly scoffed at the others purposeful omission of a question
mark, but he took the bait anyway. “I’m not giving him to you. I’ll continue
taking my share after today.” Levi rolled his eyes. What was with this guy and
the nitty-gritty? “And, like I said, I’ve sold to him for years. I consider him
a bit of a friend.”
Levi pursed his lips as if to say “Sure you do,” but held his tongue. He’d
learned to pick his battles with Erwin and if he was willing to let him keep
all the cash, then this really wasn’t an argument worth having. Money was
money, and Levi was about to make a fuck-ton.
~*~*~
Or, so he thought.
As it turned out, Erwin was kind of an asshole.
The man Erwin had been dealing to was a wealthy investor, until he gambled too
hard on some ill-fated stocks and just about lost it all. The text Levi had
received asking for nothing more than a few crack rocks had him sputtering
curses and insults about Erwin’s eyebrows as he trudged down the steps leading
to his apartment.
It came as no surprise, after aggressively punching the address into his phone
and letting the route guidance take over, that he was being led away from the
upscale homes that were sprinkled on the outskirts of town. A man who had lost
all his money would surely have to downsize. But it wasn’t until he pulled onto
an all too familiar street that his piss-poor mood reached an all time low.
“Oh, flaming shit in hell! Really?”
“Continue down Rose Avenue for-“
At that point, Levi had growled and jammed his finger down onto the ‘Stop’
button, effectively shutting the damn thing up. Now, he was faced with the
monumental task of walking the rest of the way. He could handle himself if a
few snot-nosed Keys decided to pick a fight in the middle of the day, but his
car was not something he was willing to risk.
Rose Avenue was the street that divided the town. Not equally, by any means.
The side Levi lived on was undeniably larger. It was also cleaner and not quite
as poor; home to more stable, well respected businesses and families with
slightly higher incomes. Not a picturesque vision of suburbia, but tolerable.
This was the Wings’ side.
Then, there was the Keys’ side.
Nothing short of the sarcastically spectacular. Failed businesses, condemned
houses and assholes as far as the eye could see. For some reason, whenever Levi
thought about it, his brain always conjured up images of crusty, dimly lit gas
stations and stray dogs prowling the streets at night.
Despite having more than a few good reasons to turn around, he dragged himself
down the sidewalk, hands crammed in the pockets of his jacket and shoulders
hunched dramatically.
Tap ta-tap tap tap tap said the rock. Levi was convinced it must have been
Morse code for ‘fuck my life.’ Or something like that.
Following the grand tradition of things in Levi’s life going completely off-
track, the rock collided with the side of his boot and coasted off the sidewalk
before smacking into the wall that lined the majority of the street. It was
hopelessly ugly. Once a dull beige, it was now adorned with shitty, hastily
sprayed graffiti art and meaningless drivel. Effectively tagged from top to
bottom by his fellow Wings. Nonetheless, it served to create a much more
tangible barrier between the two sides and for that, Levi was grateful.
Fantastic. The Great Wall of Shitsville, USA.
Levi stuck his hand out to the side and let his fingers brush over a large,
crude painting of the Wings’ symbol, a pair of (what else?) blue and white
wings. He felt the rough texture of the wall under his fingertips as he turned
the corner and passed through.
It was upon actual entry into the Keys side of town that he discovered that
only half the wall looked like a toddler had taken a crayon to it, and Levi’s
eyes were immediately assaulted by a stretch of bright colors, curved and
flowing lines, and bold expression. The graffiti was undeniably impressive, to
the point that it invoked a slight discomfort in the pit of his stomach. A
gnawing feeling he couldn’t quite place. The stark contrast of the art with the
rest of the area was somewhat overwhelming. This, coupled with Levi’s desperate
desire to get the hell out as quickly as possible, sent him further away from
the wall and deeper into the underbelly of the town.
The exchange of drugs and money took longer than expected thanks to the man
having to corral his two young daughters into their room before he could open
the door and allow Levi to enter his house. The bastard had kids. A family.
People that were scared and confused. That depended on him to provide them with
food and running water and a place to sleep. And he was still buying drugs from
some stranger with a switch blade in his pocket. It sickened Levi more than he
was willing to admit. This was strictly business. It had always been. But when
he thought about how those girls must have felt when their entire world had
come crashing down around them, and how they couldn’t possibly understand, in
their youth. He wanted to knock the fucker’s teeth in.
He didn’t, of course. He took the money and left. Raced through the streets
until he was far enough away from the house that he no longer felt the residual
scum. He was optimistic about actually making it out before losing his mind.
And then he stopped.
The sign over the bookstore was scuffed and decaying to the point that it was
virtually unreadable, and the store itself was unassuming. Regardless, as he
stood in front of it and peered through the dirty glass of the window, his mind
was suddenly flooded with bittersweet memories. A melancholy twist of nostalgia
and heartbreak. The logical part of his brain was urging him to leave it and
continue on his way, but the intense craving for the familiar scent of
parchment forced him through the door.
As the door chime sounded his arrival, he was immediately greeted with a non-
committal “Hey, how’s it goin’?” which he would have ignored had it not been
for an alarming flash of green that he caught in the corner of his eye. His
head snapped around and his eyes met those of an incredibly bored-looking boy
with offensive parakeet green hair. The kid, who was standing behind the
counter at the front of the store, gave Levi a sort of half-smile as they made
eye contact. The first thing to make its way out of Levi’s throat, upon
instinct, was something similar to “ugh.”
He didn’t regret it, even as the boy’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and maybe
just a hint of stung ego. He recomposed his face and tried again. “Can I help
you find something?”
Chapter End Notes
     Eren's hair is NOT going to stay green. Don't worry. Cuz I personally
     think he would look terrible, which is kinda the point. And yeah, it
     starts off a little slow, but it'll pick up. Thanks for bearing with
     me :)
***** "I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot" *****
Chapter Notes
     It's a little bit longer... I'm on break right now so I have a lot
     more time to write but tackling long chapters is still a pretty
     daunting task. This chapters from Eren's POV because I'm fickle and I
     can't pick one. I'll probably switch back and forth between the boys
     but I'll most like keep most of the other characters pretty minor so
     I can focus on Levi and Eren's relationship. Things are starting to
     pick up, but I'm still "setting the stage." It's hard to be patient
     with myself.
     The song that plays on the radio in this chapter is called My Last
     Song To Jenny by the Avett Brothers if you want to check it out.
     *whispers* Oh, and you can hit me up on tumblr if you want. It's
     remnantsofasupernova.
     Enjoy!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Okay, now Eren didn’t really know what had just happened. He had dealt with
plenty of rude customers since he started working but Jesus Christ. This guy
had barely even stepped through the door. He couldn’t let it affect him. Not
while he was on the clock. His manager wasn’t around at the moment, but that
didn’t mean the man couldn’t go and complain to him later. He let it roll off
his back and politely asked him if he needed help.
The man didn’t respond. Instead, he continued to stare- no, glare at him
wordlessly with a single, raised eyebrow. His eyes were sharp and piercing and
Eren shifted uncomfortably.
“What’s with your hair?”
Eren ran his fingers through his green locks nervously. “Um, do you mean the
color? Green’s my favorite color and I-“
“It looks like snot. Are you trying to prove something?”
Eren’s eyebrows scrunched. His composure having flown out the window, he
trilled, “What!? No it doesn’t! And who are you to talk? Who dyes their hair
jet black anymore? You look like an emo kid.” He gasped, eyes widening as he
remembered that he was, in fact, still working. Both hands flew to cover his
mouth and he was suddenly, incredibly grateful that there was nobody else in
the store but the two of them. He lowered his hands shakily and muttered, “I’m
so sorry.”
But instead of getting angry, like he’d expected, the man let out an amused
huff of air and replied calmly, “My hair color’s natural. Not that it’s any of
your business.” Eren released the breath he’d been holding and the other asked,
“You got a French section?” He hadn’t broken eye contact with Eren the entire
time and it unnerved him. Shit, why was this guy so intimidating? He couldn’t
be taller than 5’3 and yet…
Eren swallowed and pointed to the small foreign language section near the back
of the store, deciding to play it safe by keeping his mouth shut. His gaze was
held for another few seconds before the man turned and walked away without so
much as a “Thanks.”
 Fucker.
Ten minutes later and Shorty was now flipping through a French translation of
The Catcher in the Rye. Eren hadn’t stopped watching him from the safety of the
counter and he had a feeling that he probably knew it because his eyes would
drift furtively over to Eren every so often. It was after about the fourth or
fifth time that he actually lifted his head to look over at the stereo that
Eren only now realized was producing nothing but garbled static.
The bookstore didn’t have speakers installed (or a working air conditioner), so
he had to keep track of the ancient stereo that was set up behind him. It
picked up about 4 stations in total and most of its buttons had fallen off, but
it worked. He scanned the stations until finally settling for some folk band
crooning about reading between the lines. Something like that. He was only
half-listening.
He hadn’t been expecting to turn around and find that the dark-haired stranger
had managed to sneak his way back to the front of the counter. Eren jumped
slightly in surprise but the man’s face remained unchanging. His pale face set
like sculpted marble. He placed the book on the counter and pushed it toward
Eren who picked it up gingerly and scanned it.
Eren cleared his throat, went, “So are you, uh… fluent in French.
His eyes darted up from his wallet to give Eren a pointed look before going,
“Sort of.” Eren stared, intrigued. He sighed. “My grandmother used to read to
me in French. I guess I picked most of it up.” He handed Eren his credit card
and he took it between his fingers and glanced at the name.
“Your name’s Levi?”
“Observant.”
“I’m Eren.” Levi gave him a quick nod. Eren fidgeted while he waited for the
receipt to print. “I’m sorry. About what I said about your hair.” This time,
Levi almost full-out laughed. Almost.
“Whatever. I’m not the type to get butthurt over some brat criticizing my
hair.” His eyes flashed with something bordering on mischievous and Eren had to
snap his teeth together to keep from saying something he’d regret again. He
handed Levi back his belongings and bit out a strained “Have a nice day.”
Levi turned and walked away, raising his hand and giving a mocking wave, going,
“Later, Snotty.” And then he was gone. And the folk band on the radio sang out,
fuzzy and low.
Will you sleep? Not a wink
Well, neither will I
===============================================================================
 
It was dark by the time Eren got off work, the orange glow of the street lamps
lit his way home. Around him, he could hear the usual sounds: dogs barking,
sirens, the smashing of beer bottles. They were all part of the soundtrack to
nighttime in the slums. Now was the time that the other Keys would be planning
some petty shoplifting heist on the other side of town.
He’d never really considered himself a “gang member.” The only reason he’d
joined the Keys in the first place was because his sister had. In the
beginning, he would shoplift and start fights for no reason, because he was an
angry kid who had no other outlet. Now he was going on four years and he was
just incredibly tired. He’d fight if he had to, and he did, frequently. It came
with the territory. But he wasn’t constantly crossing Rose Avenue just looking
for fights. And while he was almost solely responsible for all the graffiti on
the Keys side of town, he didn’t do it with the intention of “marking his
territory.” There was no point in claiming it because nobody else wanted it
He did it because it was the only way he could vent the frustrations of every
kid who lived on this side. Because no matter how loud he was, no matter how
angry, no one would listen to some destitute teenager from the ghetto. But
they’d have to notice the wall covered in graffiti that they could see from
their apartment window, or walked past everyday on their way to work. Maybe it
was all useless. Maybe to the outside, is was just vandalism. But it served to
ease his mind. Somewhat.
The light over his front porch was on, as it usually was when his sister was
waiting for him to come home late at night. A few moths fluttered in circles
around it and he ducked into his house quickly to keep them from venturing
inside.
His house was quiet and dim but he knew she wasn’t asleep. “I’m home, Mikasa!”
He heard a door open and his sister emerged from the hallway moments later with
a leather jacket bunched under her arm, the laces of her sneakers left untied.
“How was work?”
Eren’s eyes held a sudden, tight look as he noticed her appearance. He replied
cautiously. “Same as always.” He watched as she bent down to tie her shoes. He
sighed, “Please tell me you’re not going across Rose tonight?” He didn’t really
need to ask.
“I’m going lifting with Sasha and Connie. They need groceries again cuz Sasha
can’t stop stuffing her face.” Mikasa rose from her crouching position,
choosing to ignore the look of disapproval her brother gave her. “You can come
with us if you want.”
Eren crossed his arms, indignant. “Mikasa, we’ve got school tomorrow.” And he
hated that she continued wrapping her scarf around her neck despite him.
“Since when has that ever stopped us?” She mirrored her brother, but then
sighed, shrugging passively. She reasoned, “You don’t have to lift if you don’t
want to. Just come tag the wall or something. At least then I’ll be able to
keep an eye on you.”
The proposal was almost tempting, but he really wasn’t up for a potential
confrontation with the Wings. Not tonight. “I really do have homework.”
“Yeah, ok. Whatever, Nerd.” She walked up to him and put a loving hand on his
shoulder, giving him a half hearted grin that he didn’t return. “Sleep tight,
Little Brother”
He rolled his eyes. “You know I won’t be able sleep until I know your home.”
Her smile was genuine this time. “You sound like me,” she said, walking past
him and heading for the door. “I won’t be long.” She turned toward him one last
time, recollection crossing her features. “Oh, mom came by earlier.” He turned
to face her. “She said she’ll have money for us by the end of the week. Also,
she wants you to clean your room.”
There was a beat of silence as the two exchanged looks of wordless
understanding before Mikasa turned away again, going “See you later,” before
closing the door behind her, leaving Eren alone with his thoughts.
He actually did give his homework a fairly admirable attempt but he eventually
gave up after having his mind wander back to the present only to realize that
he’d just been doodling on his paper for the past half hour. He groaned
dramatically and leaned back in his chair. A lock of jewel green hair fell over
his eyes and he reached up to twist it between his thumb and forefinger.
He ended up falling asleep at his desk in spite of himself. He dreamed he was
Holden Caulfield and he met the man from the bookstore, Levi, on a platform at
Penn Station while waiting for a train. He told him his hair was stupid, but
that his hat was even worse. Eren opened his mouth to say something but right
before he could get the words out, he felt someone roughly shaking his
shoulder.
He woke up to Mikasa hovering over him, short of breath but with a subtle gleam
of giddiness in her eyes. “So much for waiting up.” She giggled, having already
forgiven him.
Eren stretched and dug the heel of his palm into his eye, mumbling thickly,
“Sorry.” He frowned, went, “Why are you breathing so hard?”
She smiled sheepishly, suddenly refusing to meet his gaze. “I sort of had to
run all the way home.”
Eren stilled and narrowed his eyes. “Why…?” He drew out the word in a
dangerously low voice.
“We almost got caught.”
“Mikasa!”
She threw her hands up in front of her, palms pressed outward defensively. “It
wasn’t the cops or anything. Some guy just came out with a baseball bat and
started yelling.”
And that did nothing to put his mind at ease. He swiveled in his chair to face
her and yelled, “You’re usually so careful. What happened?”
She pointed a finger at her chest, fiercely, glaring down at Eren who was now
heaving angry breaths through his nose. “I wasbeing careful. Connie was
supposed to be keeping a look out.”
Eren groaned, shaking his head and burying his face in his hands. And it was
fuck-off early on a Monday morning, his neck kinked from sleeping at his desk,
and he had to worry about his sister nearly being arrested.
Mikasa was quiet for a moment and Eren lowered his hands from his face and
peered at her from the corner of his eye. The adrenaline had worn off at this
point and she looked exhausted. She spoke again. Muttered, “If anyone needs to
be careful it’s you.”
“Do NOT make this about me.” Eren snapped.
She placed a hand on his desk, leaning against it for support, trying to get
him to meet her eyes. He wouldn’t. She sighed, “You’re always so reckless. I’d
hate to see you get caught. Especially over something stupid like graffiti.”
Now, Eren looked at her. Whipped his head around violently to face her, eyes
flaming.  Mikasa immediately recoiled, and she said, “I didn’t mean it like
that, Eren.” Her voice had softened considerably, but it still held that
determined edge.
Eren scoffed. He pushed himself up from his desk and walked towards his bed,
fast and purposeful, grumbling, “Just go to bed, alright?” He lowered his head
to pick at his sheets, his jaw tight.
Mikasa chewed at her bottom lip, obviously wanting to say something more. Eren
kept his head down. She resigned, nodding solemnly, and said softly, “Alright.”
She reached over to turn off his lamp and then turned to leave.
“Goodnight, Eren.”
Chapter End Notes
     Chapter title is a quote from Catcher in the Rye
***** If It Was My Last Night On Earth, I'd Go To 7/11 *****
Chapter Notes
     This chapter kicked my ass and I don't even know why. It endured a
     few days of innattention, blocks and me rolling around on my bed
     wishing for death.
     Hanji decided that she had a lot to say in this chapter. Everyone was
     pretty vocal this time around. There's a method to the characters and
     their madness.
     Thank you to everyone who reads.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
A slice of warm sunlight cut through Levi’s window, rousing him from a restless
slumber and making him acutely aware of the mess of uncomfortably clingy sheets
tangled in his limbs. He kicked his legs frantically to free himself and sat
up. His brain was buzzing. What time was it?
He checked his phone, confirmed that it was one in the afternoon and that he
had three missed calls from Hanji and a text from Petra.
are you ok?
He heaved a heavy sigh and dropped his phone on the bed beside him. Later, when
she confronted him about it, he’d feel guilty for ignoring her. But for now,
all he wanted was a shower. Conversely, he’d feel no remorse for failing to
return Hanji’s calls.
Breakfast consisted of tea and the usual cocktail of prescription pills kept
neatly organized in little orange bottles on the middle shelf of his medicine
cabinet. Ordinarily, this would have been followed immediately by a cigarette.
Yet he was only mildly surprised (but still effectively annoyed) when he swiped
his pack off the dresser only to find it empty. Cursing, chucking the empty
pack into the waste basket with more force than necessary, he grabbed his keys
and made his way to the front door to start the trek to the nearest convenience
store. He swung the door open and found himself standing face to face with
Hanji, whose extended index finger was poised over the door bell.
He jumped, startled. “Christ, Four-Eyes. You’re gonna give me a heart attack.”
“Hellooooo, Levi.” She grinned widely and obnoxiously, brushing past him and
letting herself in. Oblivious to the fact that he was clearly on his way to go
somewhere. He shut the door and watched her flop down on his couch
spectacularly and she huffed, “You would not believe the week I’ve had. I had a
run-in with some Keys the other night. This little blonde one and-“
“Is there a reason you’re here? Or have you just decided to make annoying me
your fulltime profession?” Levi pressed an extended hip into the kitchen
counter and stared evenly at the woman sitting on his couch with a cool
expression.
Hanji cackled, her glasses sliding down the bridge of her nose. “Don’t act like
you didn’t miss me, Little Man.”
Levi continued to stare down at Hanji silently and she reciprocated with an
intense gaze of her own. Levi broke first, a small smirk cracking his stoic
features and he rolled his eyes, asking, “Why are you here?”
She crossed her legs and twisted her body around to look at him directly. “I’m
worried about you, ya crazy midget. Nobody’s seen you in days.”
Levi reached up to rest his hand on the back of his neck. “You say that like
it’s out of the ordinary.”
Hanji rolled her eyes. “Well. I’mused to getting the cold shoulder from you.
But you usually at least attempt to keep in contact with Petra.”
“I’m fine, Hanji.”
“Then hang out with me. I brought over like six Hitchcock movies.” She started
rummaging around in her bottomless bag.
“Why? You know I own all of them.” Levi pushed away from the counter and went
over to the couch.
“Because this way, you can’t say no to me.” She looked up at him, her smile
reaching her ears.
Levi crossed his arms, tilting his chin up and staring down his nose at her.
Challenging. “You underestimate me, Glasses.”
“Come oooooon, Levi.” She extended a leg, attempting to kick him lightly in the
shin but he dodged it easily.
“Just one. Then you’re leaving.” He reached down and pulled her copy of North
by Northwest out of her purse, then went to pop it into the DVD player as Hanji
bounced up and down excitedly.
It was around the 40 minute mark. Hanji was bent forward, hugging her purse to
her chest comically, eyes glued to the television screen. Levi’s focus was
drifting in and out. He looked at her for a few moments, thinking. When she
noticed, she straightened up and cocked her head to the side, her forehead
creasing with concern. She went, “What’s wrong?”
“You graduated college,” he said flatly.
She blinked. Clearly not following his train of thought. “I know.”
A heavy, drawn explosion of air left Levi’s mouth, laced with frustration. He
went on. “You’ve got a biology degree.”
Through her genuine confusion, Hanji’s eyes widened in mock disbelief and she
threw a hand up. “Well slap my ass and call me Sonny! Why didn’t you tell me
sooner!?”
Levi’s eyes narrowed, mouth twisting in a disapproving grimace. “I’m serious.
What are you still doing here?” A pause. His eyes flickered over to Cary Grant
on the screen for a moment. “You could have an actual job in a lab or
something. But you’re here. In some shitty gang in a town you couldn’t find on
a map.”
Hanji’s eyes softened with a sudden awareness and she looked back at the TV.
She was quiet for a moment and if Levi didn’t know her as well as he did, he
would have assumed he’d just offended her. But that wasn’t the way she was. She
spoke then, almost distantly. She went, “Y’know. I didn’t really go to college
for the sake of getting a job. I just really fucking love science.” The corners
of her mouth twitched up as she said it. There was another stretch where the
only sounds made were the ones coming from the TV and Levi looked down at his
legs. She said, “I’ll find something really cool to do with my degree someday.
But until then, I’m happy to hang out with my friends and defend my turf
against punk-ass Keys.” She put up her dukes and threw a few punches into the
air. And Levi shook his head.
“Do you think you’re the protagonist in some Lifetime movie, Four-Eyes?”
“Mmm,” Hanji hummed. “I’ve got a gay best friend and everything.” She glanced
over at him then and winked, and Levi scoffed.
===============================================================================
 
Levi had to forcefully remove Hanji from his apartment, but he eventually
managed to get her out before snapping entirely as a result of his nicotine
craving becoming too intense to ignore.
Levi reached the tiny convenience store just as the lights over the building
flickered to life to combat the setting sun, casting their eerie glow over the
surrounding pavement below. He yanked the door open and stepped inside, making
a beeline for the check-out counter and immediately searching through his
wallet as he requested a pack of Marlboros. The figure behind the counter
froze.
“It’s you.”
Levi looked up and was met with a pair of familiar green eyes. Strange, though.
There wasn’t a strand of green hair in sight. Only soft, unassuming chestnut.
“Snotty?”
Eren cleared his throat roughly. “It’s Eren,” he muttered.
Levi’s mouth twitched with poorly concealed amusement. “Is there anywhere you
don’t work?”
“Is that an actual question?”
Levi gave Eren a look that said, ‘Watch it, Kid.’ Impatient, he said, “Can I
get my cigarettes, please?” Eren turned and retrieved the cigarettes from the
back wall while Levi dropped a few faded bills onto the counter and went, “I’m
flattered, by the way.”
Eren cocked an eyebrow. “What?”
Levi shoved the Marlboros in his pocket. He gestured to Eren’s hair. “You were
so affected by what I said about your hair that you actually went and dyed it.”
A faint blush crept its way to Eren’s cheeks and he shot back, “I didn’t do it
because of you!”
Levi nodded. “Sure” Eren squinted at him indignantly but he didn’t say anything
so Levi took the lull as an opportunity to leave. As he turned away with a
quiet “Well, thanks,” he could see Eren’s mouth formlessly sounding silent
words, but something stopped him, and Levi decided it was best to leave it at
that.
Yet, for whatever reason, he didn’t get very far. He leaned up against the wall
of the building and lit his cigarette. Every once in a while, someone would
walk past him and shoot him an incriminating look on their way into the store.
He would either ignore them or chase them off by directing a plume of tainted
smoke in their direction, all the while looking entirely too innocent. He kept
himself entertained with this for a few minutes until he heard the ringing of
the door chime and saw a pair of dirty Chuck Taylors step out onto the
sidewalk. His eyes raked up Eren’s frame. He had a backpack hanging off one
shoulder and he was looking at him almost as if he were expecting to see him
there.
“You’re still here.” It wasn’t a question. Eren walked closer to Levi and Levi
shrugged, smoke drifting lazily from his open mouth.
“I don’t know what it is about gas stations, but they make me want to piss
people off.” Levi smirked as Eren’s eyebrows shot up before he realized that
he’d been joking. Even then, he looked as if he still wasn’t quite sure. Levi
said, “So you work at a convenience store now? You get fired from your other
job for being a brat?”
Eren scowled at him and bit back, “No!” He watched Levi take a drag off his
cigarette. “I don’t get that many hours at the bookstore, so I had to find a
second job.” He stood next to Levi and took a place beside him on the wall,
letting his backpack drop from his shoulder to his feet. Levi gave him a
tentative, sideways glance.
Then he asked “Is that why you dyed your hair?”
Eren laced his fingers through his own hair at the back of his neck and said,
muttered really, “Um. Yeah.”
Levi nodded. “It’s better.” He was quiet then, letting it hang in the air.
Brought his cigarette to his lips again and Eren’s eyes were fixed to them.
Levi lowered his hand and peered at Eren whose eyes snapped away from his mouth
and he coughed softly. Levi held it up closer to Eren’s face, gesturing. He
asked, “Did you want one or something?”
“Huh?” Eren’s eyes widened. “Oh, no. I don’t smoke.”
Levi briefly wondered if putting out his cigarette would have been the right
thing to do and then he decided that he didn’t care. Eren wasn’t looking at him
anymore. His eyes were scanning the dreary parking lot and watching as people
pumped gas. And then, out of nowhere, he stiffened, straightening up against
the wall as if he’d just remembered something. It freaked Levi out and he went,
“What? What’s your problem?”
Eren was hoisting his backpack back up onto his shoulder, saying, “I gotta go.”
Levi finally dropped his cigarette and ground it out with the toe of his shoe,
he chuckled. “Aww. Baby’s got a curfew.”
Eren pushed away from the wall and snapped, “Fuck off. I’m not a kid.”
Levi stepped up to Eren so that he could get in his face, not caring one bit
about the obvious height difference between them. “Watch your mouth, you little
shit. I’m not the one who asked you to come over here and talk to me.”
Eren’s eyes were burning as he glared down at Levi, jaw held tight, he shook
his head. “I really don’t have time for this.” He stepped away from Levi, who
reared back in momentary shock, almost offended, and Eren was already storming
off across the parking lot. He watched the other’s retreating back and even
though there hadn’t been a fight, he still felt like he had lost somehow.
Because Eren had gotten the last word and he hadn’t actually been angry until
he found himself utterly alone at a filthy gas station.
What ended up happening was, Levi groaned and waited for a few minutes to make
sure Eren had made it far enough away so that it didn’t seem like he was going
after him when he started his journey back home.
The park Levi cut through to get home was usually full of children, laughing
and playing and scraping their knees. It was much darker now, and Levi could
barely make out the shadowy figures standing just a few meters ahead of him,
but he could clearly hear yelling. He only got close enough to see who they
were. He recognized one of the younger Wings, Jean, standing across from a girl
with dark hair. They both had their hands balled into fists at their sides and
they were shouting. A short, blonde boy stood behind her, eyes wide with panic
and frantically scanning the ground around them. Probably looking for something
to use as a weapon.
The girl loosened her scarf from around her neck and whipped it off into her
white-knuckled grip. She snarled, “Fuck with my friend and my brother again,
and I will break every bone in your body.”
Jean sneered, “Tell them and the rest of the Keys to stay the fuck on your
side, and I’ll leave them alone.”
She stepped closer to Jean, jerking a finger at him. “Let me tell you
something. You don’t own this side of town. Just because you’re a Wing doesn’t
mean you get to decide who’s allowed to come over here.”
There was only a moment of hesitation before Levi stepped forward. Stopping
beside Jean, he stared at the girl, whose hand immediately reformed a fist as
her eyes darted between him and Jean. Levi retrieved his switchblade from his
pocket and flicked it open, keeping it at his side. He heard the boy gasp, but
she simply glared down at the knife, eying it dangerously. Levi stayed
perfectly still. Eyes never wavering, he said smoothly, “Leave. Now.”
The girl didn’t move. She continued staring piercing daggers into Levi. The boy
behind her pleaded cautiously, “Mikasa, please.” She held Levi’s gaze for a few
more seconds before backing up slowly and grabbing the blonde boy by the wrist.
She uttered a quick, “Let’s go.” And just like that, Levi folded his blade
closed and pocketed it. Only then did the Keys turn their backs to them, but
the girl kept looking over her shoulder until they disappeared completely into
the blackness.
Levi turned to glare at Jean, who was still breathing heavily and watching the
spot where the two Keys were last visible. “Are you an idiot? Where are Annie
and the boys?”
Jean grumbled, “I don’t know.” He frowned down at Levi. “But I could have
handled them.”
Levi grabbed Jean by the shoulder, and yanked it forward so that he was facing
him. His grip was tight, his eyes darkened and burned into Jean’s. He growled
“This is not a game, Jean. If you keep going out alone at night, there’s a good
chance you’re gonna wind up dead. Now go home.” Jean huffed and glowered back
at Levi, but he made no effort to argue. Levi released his shoulder and then
Jean was sauntering away and Levi watched as he headed in the opposite
direction of the Keys.
Chapter End Notes
     By the way, I adore Jean. I really do.
***** Rest Stop *****
Chapter Notes
     The plot thickens?
     If anyone was wondering about my extended absence (And I'm not saying
     anyone was), well, midterms suck.
     *sighs* I don't know guys. But I think I'm really liking Armin's
     character so far...
     And I actually had to look up the technical term for the top part of
     a key while writing this chapter. Apparently it's called a bow.
     Love to all who read and comment.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Eren’s convenience store job was mind-numbingly easy and equally as boring.
Yet, despite that, his bones were soaked with exhaustion and all he wanted to
do was sleep. Unfortunately, his only options were either getting an earful
from Mikasa about how he should quit his job across town, or having to escape
potential conversation with Armin’s rowdy but well meaning roommates. Eren
chose the latter after realizing that he could probably fly under the radar by
simply climbing in through Armin’s window. He ducked around the corner of the
warehouse and dragged a nearby trashcan over to the window. Standing
precariously on the tin lid, he was able to push the glass pane open and hoist
himself inside.
He then fell ungracefully from the window onto the concrete floor and his
backpack landed on top of him. A curse unfolded.
Armin’s room was less an actual room and more just an area of the warehouse
that had been walled off by a few curtains and folding screens. It was also
lacking Armin at the moment, Eren noticed upon standing and looking around.
Mikasa had texted him earlier asking him where he was. He’d assumed she’d gone
to get him from work but he hadn’t expected Armin to have gone with her.
As if on cue, a curtain was thrown haphazardly to the side and a very frazzled
looking Armin stepped through. He yelped when he saw the figure sitting on his
bed.
Relief rushed from his lungs when he recognized his friend and he said
breathlessly, “Oh my God. You scared me.”
“Sorry,” Eren said softly. Armin’s fingers were trembling slightly as he
lowered his hand from his chest. Eren tilted his head slightly, asking, “Did
you go across Rose with Mikasa tonight?”
Armin frowned. “How’d you know?”
Eren held up his phone. “She texted me.” Armin nodded and padded slowly over to
his bed and sat down beside Eren. Eren was cautious when he asked, “Did
something happen?”
Armin was quiet for a moment looking at his hands resting in his lap before
peeking up at him through his bangs. “Remember that Wing you fought with the
other day?”
Eren’s face twisted in repulsion as he recalled the scuffle he’d had with some
horse-faced ass hat after he saw Eren tagging the Wings’ side of the wall. The
kid was mostly just talk, but he’d managed to catch Eren off guard and land a
punch to his cheek. The bruise it left had caused Mikasa to blow everything out
of proportion. “Yes…”
“Well, she asked me to come with her to go get you from work because she didn’t
want you walking home alone. But she wanted me to point him out in case we saw
him and… Well…” Armin gestured with his hand, not needing to finish the
thought.
Eren’s eyebrows furrowed with surprise and worry. “What!? Armin, did he hurt
you?”
He quickly shut his eyes and shook his head resolutely. “No. He’s an idiot. And
Mikasa was there. But…” He hesitated, unsure how to proceed. “His friend showed
up out of nowhere and pulled a knife.”
Eren’s eyes blew open wide and he felt his stomach knotting violently. He
opened his mouth, furious, but Armin was quick to try and settle his bubbling
rage. “It wasn’t a gun or anything, but, he wasn’t like the other guy at all.
The kid you fought didn’t seem like he’d even considerkilling someone. But this
guy was different.” Eren sucked a breath in through his teeth but said nothing,
and Armin went on. “I mean, I’ve seen a few knife fights, and no one’s ever
died. But, it was the way he looked at us. Even with Mikasa there, for a second
I thought we we’re dead.”
“Armin-“ Eren started. He was cut off.
“And then he just told us to leave.” Armin was shaking his head, frowning.
Trying to compute something in his brain that didn’t quite make sense. A gust
of chilly, night air blew through the room from the open window.
Eren abruptly stood from the bed and Armin’s eyes followed him as he began
pacing slowly in front of him, commanding, “Armin. You need to stay away from
there. At least at night.”
Armin rose and stood in front of Eren, stopping him in his tracks and giving
him a pleading look. Eren’s shoulders tensed. He didn’t know what he expected
Armin to say, but his friend’s tone was gentle, heavy, when he asked, “What
about you? You’re gonna be there all the time now.” He shook his head. “It’s
not worth it.”
Eren closed his eyes and breathed deeply, grabbing the collar of his shirt and
pulling it down to reveal his tattoo. A brass key with a diamond-shaped bow,
etched eternally into the skin on his chest, running parallel to his left
collarbone. Armin gazed at it, reaching up to touch his own through the fabric
of his shirt. His had a slightly different design. Each Key had their own
personal tattoo, but they were all in the same spot. Eren said, “We’re Keys.”
He let go of his shirt and the ink disappeared in an instant as the cloth
covered it once more. “It’s because of them that we can’t get decent jobs or go
to a better school. If we stay on our side, then they win. It isworth it.”
“Not if you get killed!” Armin’s eyes snapped up in fear and Eren suddenly felt
an eerie sense of unfamiliar apprehension creep over him. Level-headed Armin
was not one for melodrama. Eren wished he could feel confident in the idea that
he had just gotten spooked and was overreacting. In all his years of being in a
gang, he’d never truly stared death in the face, and knives weren’t uncommon.
But this had obviously shaken Armin to the point where he really did fear for
his life, even if only for a split-second. And now he feared for Eren’s. He
swallowed against the lump in his throat, hoping to sound just as confident as
he had a minute ago when he said, “I can’t quit.”
Armin took a slow, steady breath and nodded and his gaze flickered to that spot
on Eren’s chest. “Do you have a weapon?”
He shrugged. “I used to carry around my dad’s old switchblade. But I never
really needed it.” He was only ever in fist fights. Some got pretty violent,
but there wasn’t ever a need for blades or guns.
Armin stepped away from him then, sinking back down onto his bed while saying,
“Well, I think you might start needing it.” Eren just gave him a sort of
joyless, worn smile after which Armin proceeded to promptly change the subject.
“How’d work go?”
The question caught Eren slightly of guard, but he went with it and rejoined
Armin on the bed. “It was really weird. The job’s boring as shit, but...” He
paused, mouth twitching with hesitant concentration as visions of a pale face
and moody, grey eyes flooded his memory. For some reason, he was suddenly
feeling fidgety and he picked absentmindedly at the hem of his shirt, going,
“This guy came into the bookstore the other day. He was kind of an asshole but,
I dunno, he was interesting. Spoke French and stuff.” He noticed a change in
Armin’s expression from his peripheral and he made a point to keep his focus
away from him. “Anyway, he came in today to get some cigarettes. He was still a
jerk, but he was outside the store smoking when I got off work and we started
talking.”
He finally looked back at Armin, who was staring at him, grinning like mad, and
he squinted at him petulantly. “Don’t look at me like that.” Armin’s smile only
widened and Eren shoved him in the arm weakly, repeating with more vigor,
“Don’t lookat me like that!”
Armin giggled, “I’m sorry. I’m kidding.” Eren pouted so Armin collected himself
before asking, “What was his name?”
Eren debated over whether or not the little shit deserved that piece of
information. He didn’t really think that he did, but he was just grateful for
the positive change in atmosphere, so he told him anyway.
“Levi.”
===============================================================================
 
As tempted as he was to spend the night at Armin’s, after learning about the
events that had transpired earlier that night, it didn’t seem fair to leave
Mikasa alone. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel somewhat responsible for
what had happened. His guilt only grew when he got home to find her still
awake, waiting for him. That didn’t surprise him. What did surprise him, and
consequently make him feel like the world’s worse brother and supreme scum of
the earth, was that she didn’t scold him. She didn’t yell, or even tell him to
quit his job. She just hugged him. She rushed over to him and took him into her
arms and held onto him for dear life, only letting go after he’d sunken into
her for a few moments. The inexplicable pain coursing through his veins
prompted him to say something. Anything.
“I’m sorry, Mikasa.” And he was. Sorry that she felt like she had to protect
him, and sorry that, even after it all, he’d still go back. Because he had to.
And she knew.
She shook her head vigorously. “I’m just happy you’re safe.” And that was that.
They didn’t say anything more, because they didn’t need to. It wasn’t anybody’s
fault, and the all-consuming desire for change was too strong. Too important.
And they were just two kids. Only teenagers.
It was a dreamless, broken sleep and a day spent nodding off in every single
class. Eren found himself alone at work again. The bookstore. He stood and
stared out the window, one palm pressed against the glass and eyes fixated on
the dilapidated storefronts across the street. The air outside was thick and
heavy, polluted by factory emissions and the emotions of the population, which
hung over the town like a fog. It was scenic, Eren thought. Not like a
postcard, but like a dreamscape, warped and unclear. It was during this wistful
reverie that Eren’s mind wandered back to Levi: the shape of his lips around a
cigarette, the intensity in his eyes when he stared into Eren’s. He had to
wonder why he was suddenly seeing him everywhere. He couldn’t have lived on
Eren’s side unless he just moved into town. Eren could feel an uncomfortable
realization rising up within him, but he chalked up his new, unsettling
fascination to extreme boredom. Their last meeting had not exactly been a
friendly one.
Eren watched the door, subtly trying to will Levi to walk through it. He never
did.
In fact, Eren didn’t see Levi again for a while, and he had almost given up
waiting. But then, of course, the man in question would inevitably have to show
up the minute Eren was ready to forget about him, wouldn’t he?
And it happened on blessed a day off.
Eren used to sketch and paint more when he was younger but since joining the
Keys, was able to use graffiti as a sufficient creative outlet. However, he
didn’t think he’d have any luck getting into a prestigious art school with a
portfolio that was filled with photographic evidence of his defacement of
public property.
The only art supply store in town was on the other side. Eren had been bringing
his knife with him to work ever since Armin had suggested it. It was the middle
of the day now, but he slipped it into his backpack anyway and, while he made
it his personal mission to avoid public transportation at all cost, he resolved
to suck it up and take the bus.
He bought a few canvases and some new oil paints and resisted the urge to cry
over how much it would cost to replace his set of thousand year old, uselessly
frayed brushes.
Sitting at the bus stop, he was still grumbling to himself about the
unreliability of the buses when he caught a flash of black and grey cross in
front of him and his head snapped up before he even realized it. Like an
instinct. And he barely registered the word as it flew from his lips like a
desperate plea
“Levi!”
He stopped, turned slowly, his expression entirely disinterested even as he
identified Eren as the source of the noise. He didn’t respond. He stood and
waited for Eren to say something and it was only then that Eren realized that
he hadn’t thought of anything past calling out his name. Shit.
“Uh, what’s up?” He tried to put on his most charming smile but he could feel
the muscles in his face twitching with embarrassment. Never in his life had he
wanted to see that putrid bus show up more than he did at that moment.
Levi’s eyes narrowed but he raised a hand and gave a non-committal wave and a
quick, “Hey,” before continuing to walk away.
Eren panicked. “Wait.” Levi turned again, giving a short, semi-exasperated
sigh. Eren scratched at the back of his neck. “Are you busy right now?” He
almost winced after he said it.
The whole situation was teetering on the edge of painful but Eren seemed to be
the only one aware of that because Levi just sort of rolled his shoulders and
went, “Are you trying to bum a ride or something, Kid?”
At this point, Eren’s expression shifted to one of genuine confusion and he
flinched in the way people do when something comes completely out of nowhere.
“What? No.” The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind, and even if it had, he
didn’t think he could endure this amount of extreme awkwardness in such an
enclosed space, which was why what he said next seemed a bit counterintuitive.
“I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out. And I wanted to apologize. For
before.”
Levi all but snorted, looking at Eren incredulously and utterly amused. “Are
you serious?”
Eren’s shoulders slumped in quiet defeat. He looked off in the other direction
and muttered, “Nevermind.”
Levi rolled his eyes, lashes fluttering with rapidly waning patience. But there
was a subtle trace of something different replacing his disinterest as he
huffed, “God, don’t look so constipated, Brat. Here.” He dug a pen out of the
front pocket of his bag and approached the bench. He grabbed Eren’s wrist and
scrawled his phone number on the back of his hand, saying, “I’m working right
now. But if you ever manage to find your balls again, call me.”
Chapter End Notes
     tumblr: remnantsofasupernova
***** You Wouldn't Know *****
Chapter Notes
     Sorry again for the major delay *whistles and inspects nails* I feel
     like this chapter kinda has a weird vibe. Levi does that to me.
     I know there hasn't been any real gang action up to now but it's
     acomin'. Thank you for being patient with me and with this story.
     We'll get there.
     Anyway, Enjoy.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
A black hole of cynicism.
That was Erwin’s way of describing him. Levi supposed it was, at the very
least, a diplomatic way of calling him an asshole. He could appreciate that.
Erwin’s house was far too massive for one person and Levi despised it. He
didn’t have any particular reason, but something about walking through those
showy, iron front doors made his skin crawl. It might have been that he
associated it with losing money. Erwin supplied him with drugs to sell and
requested his cut of the cash most every time he saw him. Erwin kept his hands
clean and Levi made decent money. It was mutually beneficial, but not
necessarily free of resentment.
It might have been the extravagance.  Erwin also made money in conventional
ways, namely a relatively high paying office job, though it still seemed as
though he were flaunting his ill-gotten gains. Like they were something to be
proud of. Honorable. There is no honor among drug dealers. Levi knew that much
for certain.
Or he might have just been jealous.
“Levi.” Erwin never raised his voice, but the extra, rumbling vibrations
decorating the otherwise smooth tone were enough to alert Levi to the fact that
he had been trying to get his attention.
Levi’s eyes drifted from their spot on the back wall over to Erwin and he
offered him nothing more than a hum in acknowledgment.
Erwin simply smiled softly and he chuckled. “You don’t seem all that focused
today.”
Levi played with they idea of being difficult. As much respect as he had for
Erwin, the man had still fucked him over the last time he’d seen him, and he
considered ‘grudge holding’ a special skill. He eventually decided against it
and said, “Sorry. What were you saying?”
Erwin just laughed again. He strode toward Levi from his previous spot at the
mini bar and handed him a drink, which he gratefully accepted. He sat in a
chair across from Levi and settled into it before crossing his legs and
swirling his own drink thoughtfully, and then saying, “I was just apologizing
for pulling one over on you the other day.”
Levi pressed his lips into a thin line as he lifted his drink to them. He
muttered into his glass, “I’m still pissed at you for that.”
Erwin nodded understandingly. “I’m aware. You’re not being terribly discreet
about it. But I knew you would refuse if I told you the whole truth right
away.” Levi’s glare hardened at the confession and Erwin paused, calmly
accepting his scorn before going on. “I like to maintain good relationships
with all of my buyers, even the former ones. You understand.”
Levi did understand. He’d seen the dangerous gleam in the eyes of a desperate
man. He’d felt the cold metal of a gun pressed into his skin. He’d lost people.
Precious people.
He downed the rest of his drink, grimacing as the alcohol burned his throat,
and Erwin watched him closely in silence but seemed unaffected as Levi put the
empty glass down on the end table beside him with more force than necessary.
Finally, he cleared his throat and without looking at the other man, uttered a
raspy, “Yeah.”
“I didn’t mean for you to feel used. If that’s why you’re upset. But you know
what you signed up for, Levi. I know that.” Erwin’s features were stoic at this
point. All traces of humor were gone.
There was no arguing with that. And truthfully, Levi wanted to be angry at
Erwin, but he hadn’t forced him into this. Though, Levi didn’t really have many
options. Erwin knew that too. It was why he was the one doing the dirty work.
Levi rose from his seat and grabbed his overcoat. He slipped his arm through
the sleeve. “I’ll keep selling to the guy. So you can calm your giant, blonde
ass down and stop trying to be intimidating,” he said, shooting Erwin a look as
he shrugged his coat over his shoulders.
Erwin’s hearty laughter returned. “I wasn’t worried about that. I just wanted
to make sure you were alright.” He took another sip of his drink. “I care about
you.” Blue eyes glowed from over the crystal glass.
Levi stilled for a beat, directing his heavily lidded gaze at the man and then
shook his head and scoffed, “Drop the act, you old creep.”
Erwin was still grinning but he said, “I’m actually being quite sincere.” A few
seconds went by and Levi stayed silent. He scrutinized Erwin’s face but the man
remained impassive. He was incredibly difficult to read, and there was a reason
for that.
In any case, Levi was glad to be leaving and he couldn’t have gotten to his car
fast enough. As he pulled out of the driveway, his pocket buzzed. He growled,
immediately assuming it was Erwin texting him with some bullshit that he had
forgotten to mention earlier. But then he remembered that he’d just given his
number to Eren. He retrieved his cell phone while stopped at a red light and
the screen displayed a text from an unknown number.
hey is this Levi?
“Really, Kid?” Levi asked, to himself, because he was currently alone in his
car. He had justtold Eren he was working so he was either incredibly eager or
incredibly stupid. Levi was willing to wager it was a bit of both.
He bit down on his lower lip before his mouth twitched up into a barely
discernable smirk.
Who’s asking?
He had no reason to doubt that it was the kid, but he felt compelled to mess
with him. The car behind him blared its horn and he looked up to find the light
had turned green.
“Shit.” He punched the gas.
There were a few minutes of dead air and he wondered if he’d lost his nerve,
but then there was another buzz. Better judgment told him to wait until he got
home before pulling his phone out again. He’d barely thrown his car into park
as he checked the new message.
Eren
Levi tapped his nails absentmindedly on the back of his phone. He didn’t need
to ask to know where this was going. The kid was attractive, but he was just
that: a kid, most likely still a teenager. And Levi didn’t have the time or
patience to deal with a teenager, especially not an idiot who dyed his hair
green and didn’t know when to shut his damn mouth.
I don’t know what the phrase “I’m working” means to you. But to me, it means,
“I’m busy so don’t bother me.”
Buzz. 
sorry. I just wanted to make sure the number worked.
It works.
Levi was sure Eren would be able to sense the mockery in those words even
through he wasn’t there to hear them.
Cool! Ill see you later
“Stupid brat.” But he caught himself smiling as he said it
===============================================================================
 
Petra was that awkward peg among the Wings. She was never violent unless she
was acting out of self defense and only got involved in matters of their
rivalry with the Keys when she was making suggestions. Levi was convinced she
was the only person alive keeping him sane and it was for that reason that he
and some of the older Wings often congregated at her apartment.
“Those little assholes think they can steal from usand get away with it?” Hanji
flailed around on Petra’s couch, waving a bottle of vodka around and coming
dangerously close to knocking Levi in the head with it.
He snatched the offending alcohol away from her and set it down on the floor
next him. “They’re not stealing from us personally,” he corrected.
Hanji sunk deeper into the couch and waved her hand at him. “You know what I
mean.” She was suddenly thrusting her index finger into the air and exclaiming,
“You know what we should do?” The finger was then directed toward Levi and she
went, “We should kidnap one of ‘em.”
“Shut up. You’re drunk.” Hanji pouted at his dismissive tone.
“She’s right though.” Gunther was squatting on the floor in the middle of the
room and inspecting a box of faulty laptops and stolen video game consoles.
Things he and Petra could peddle to suckers for quick cash. He took the beer
that Petra offered him and took a swig. “We hafta do something. If we keep
letting them get away with crossing Rose and robbing businesses on our side,
it’ll be only a matter of time before they actually are stealing from us
personally.”
Levi crossed his legs, fingers cradling a cigarette and he said flippantly,
“Tch. I’d like to see them try.”
Petra placed her hands on her hips and regarded the group with a disapproving
frown. “They’re just a bunch of kids. You don’t need to do anything drastic;
you just need to scare them.”
“A gang is a gang, Petra.” Gunther went, “They could be fucking toddlers for
all I care.”
Levi sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose, said, “We’ve been at this for
years. If scare tactics we’re enough to keep them on their side, then we
wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.”
“So why not just go over there and rob from that side of town?” Petra replied,
bending over to close up the box of bootlegged goods. “Most of those businesses
are on their last legs so the damage would be a lot more severe.”
Gunther’s threw his hands up, nearly offended. “I’m not setting foot in that
shithole.” He argued, and Levi nodded in agreement.
Hanji sprang up unexpectedly. “I’ll do it!”
“No you won’t” Levi shot back. She flopped against the back of the couch again.
Petra shrugged. “So send some younger Wings to go do it.”
Gunther didn’t bother snorting in response. “Do you honestly think any of them
besides Annie would last five minutes over there?”
“A gang is a gang, Gunther,” Petra mimicked him. He frowned and continued
nursing his beer.
Levi chose to keep his gaze focused on his beloved cigarette as it twitched
between spidery fingers. “Most of those twerps go looking for trouble. They’ve
probably crossed Rose plenty of times,” he added. It was said in a seemingly
indifferent manner, to the point that even the drunken Hanji took a careful
glance at him from the corner of her eye.
Petra watched Levi flick his ashes onto the nearby ashtray, when he stayed
quiet she looked over at Gunther.
“I’ll mention it too them if that’s what you want.” He said.
She shook her head. “It was just a suggestion.” Then she was redirecting her
stare back to Levi who finally glanced up at her. There was an unsure aura
swirling in the depths of her eyes and his jaw tightened when he caught it and
he had to look away at Hanji who was staring vacantly at the bottle of vodka
near his feet. She laughed then and clapped Levi on the back with enough force
to make him lurch forward.
“Who’s up for blackjack?”
===============================================================================
 
It was by some miraculous act of God that Hanji ended up quite literally
cleaning out Levi’s wallet and he was just happy that she hadn’t suggested
strip poker. He dropped his cards onto the table, thoroughly displeased.
“That’s it, I’m going home.”
Hanji cackled as she swept the bills and coins from the pot into her little
pile of winnings. “C’mon. Don’t be a sore loser. Things were just gettin’
interesting,” she protested.
Levi pushed himself up from the couch, grabbed his coat and griped, “No. No.
Fuck you, Shitty Glasses. You’re not getting my atm pin.” Petra was struggling
to hide her smile behind her hand and Gunther was avoiding eye-contact with him
altogether. Levi shot them each a look of faux detestation and huffed, “This is
the last time I play cards with any of you,” as he headed for the door.
He exited the apartment with Hanji yelling, “Nighty night, ya big baby,” behind
him. He sighed audibly and stood with his back against Petra’s front door.
It was late October and the air around him was cold and dewy and it stung his
lungs as it filled them. His fingers curled at his side, unsure and then he was
actually bothering to reach into his pocket and retrieve his cell phone. He
pressed the button and watched the screen light up. Another sigh and he was
typing.
Are you free right now? Or is it past your bed time?
The reply came almost instantly and he couldn’t decide if he should have been
troubled or pleased
im not responding to that
A typical scoff and a dramatic eye roll. This kid really was an idiot. And yet,
there he was, texting him back.
You just did. Do you want to hang out or not?
Yes
He swallowed against the lump of ridiculousness that was currently rising in
his throat. He could still back out at this point, and he seriously considered
it. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed for a third time and then typed
out the message and hit send.
Good. Meet me at Bad Bean’s in 30
===============================================================================
 
At the risk of being disgustingly predictable, Levi opted to invite Eren to a
coffee shop. It was better than the brat assuming this was a booty call, or
worse, an actual date.
Cozy could have been the right way to describe it, but it was slightly more
sophisticated than the image that the word brings to mind. It was dimly lit and
rather small. High, rounded tables, more than needed, were peppered throughout
and it had heavily worn hardwood flooring and a small, low stage with an
ancient-looking piano where entertainers were hired to play (although no one
was performing at the time). A few potted plants were the extent of the décor
aside from some old photos, important to the owner, lining the walls. At the
far end was a coffee bar, lined with stools, where Levi ordered a coffee before
he sat down at one of the tables to wait for Eren.
He sat and waited for a good while and checked his phone on occasion to make
sure Eren hadn’t chickened out. While staring out the window and watching a few
people walk by, he half wondered where they were going, and he failed to notice
a hooded figure enter the shop and approach his table.
“Is this seat taken?” Levi turned his head and was flashed a set of
unexpectedly straight teeth, green eyes bright and crinkling at the corners.
Levi felt his insides perform a quick somersault and he gritted his teeth. He
willed the sensation away hastily and concealed it with a disapproving scowl.
“If you’re trying to be cute, it’s not working.” Lie. Big, fat lie. Eren’s
smile softened and he pulled his hood down and filled the vacant seat across
from him.
“So d’you come here often?” If looks could kill, the look Levi gave him in
response would have put him 6 feet in the ground and he was suddenly sputtering
and trying to redeem himself. “I didn’t mean for that to sound like some cheesy
pick-up line. It’s an honest question.”
Levi fingered the handle of his ceramic coffee mug. “No, actually, I don’t.” He
cocked an eyebrow at Eren and chided, “And I can tell you don’t either, what
took you so long?”
Eren’s brow creased and he checked the time on his phone. “You said ’30
minutes.’”
“Yeah, but this is in the middle of town. It doesn’t take that long to get
here.”
Eren shrugged. “I don’t have a car,” he said simply.
Levi suddenly recalled Eren sitting at the bus stop the other day and then
realized he probably had to walk there. “Right. I forgot. Whereabouts do you
live?” Eren didn’t respond. He sort of just pursed his lips and let his eyes
dart around the shop uncomfortably. Levi frowned. “I’m not gonna stalk you,
Brat. Don’t flatter yourself.”
Eren smiled mildly at this and it was weird, Levi noted. It certainly wasn’t
the reaction he’d been expecting and Eren said, “I live on the otherside of
town.” He tilted his head in the direction of the slums and his gaze continued
its path.
“Oh,” was all Levi said. He lifted his cup to his mouth by its rim and took a
sip and Eren watched him closely. Levi ignored his bewildered expression and
asked, “Are you gonna get a drink, or are you just gonna sit there.”
Eren shook his head to bring himself out of whatever daze he’d just been in.
“Uh, yeah,” he replied. “Just a sec.” He stood and took a step toward the
coffee bar but Levi stopped him.
“Here, use this.” He pulled his credit card from his wallet and flung it across
the table at Eren.
Eren stared down at the card as if it were his first time seeing one. His eyes
flickered back up to Levi who stared at him expectantly and waited for him to
try to decline, which he did. “Oh, that’s ok-“
“Just take it.” Levi clipped. Eren looked back down at the card and picked it
up off the table gingerly, then went over to the counter to order something.
Levi watched.
Eren returned a few minutes later with a steaming coffee in hand. He gave Levi
his credit card back and said “Thank you.” Levi just replied with a hum and
Eren nodded his head toward his wallet. “No cash?” he asked.
Eren didn’t seem to realize that the question could have been considered
invasive. Either that or he didn’t care. As it turned out, neither did Levi and
he shoved the card back in its slot and explained, somewhat bitterly, “I lost a
few rounds of blackjack before I texted you.”
Levi saw Eren’s eyes narrow skeptically. “You don’t strike me as the gambling
type,”
Levi held up his wallet. “I’m not.” He sent Eren a vague smile which, while
small, was at least genuine and he watched his eyes light up as that stupid
grin adorned his face again. The gentle warmth bloomed in Levi’s chest and he
let it linger a little longer this time around.
Chapter End Notes
     Of course there had to be a coffee shop. Stop looking at me like
     that.
***** Too Much Caffeine *****
Chapter Notes
     Chapters still shorter than I'm comfortable with. Sorry 'bout it.
     Levi's a liar liar plants for hire, and some shit goes down.
     Enjoy.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Eren eyes caught Levi’s for a split second and the air between them was fragile
and weighed down with the single question that was sitting on the tips of both
of their tongues.
Do you feel that?
Eren couldn’t detect an answer as Levi looked away almost immediately. His
fingers were lightly tapping at the rim of his mug and Eren watched them,
almost mesmerized, as he swallowed and finally spoke up again. “So what do you
do for work?”
Levi let his eyes drift slowly back up to his and drew in a deep breath before
saying, “I work for a company that sells pharmaceuticals.”
Eren fought to keep the shock off his face. Levi was obviously older than he
was, but he didn’t look old enough to have what Eren would consider an ‘adult
job.’ “What kind of pharmaceuticals?”
Levi shrugged. “All kinds. Antidepressants, painkillers… the usual stuff, I
guess.” He paused to watch Eren pull the zipper of his jacket down and remove
it. “Are you an artist or something?”
Eren cocked his head. “Yeah. How’d you know?”
“I saw your art supplies the other day at the bus stop.”
Eren nodded. “I paint mostly. I’m not pro or anything. I don’t know much about
composition or ‘use of negative space’ and all that. I just paint. All lot of
times I’ll just get this image in my head when I’m trying to fall asleep some
nights and I just have to paint. So I…” He stopped himself and brushed the hair
away from his eyes self-consciously, smiling shyly.  “I’m sorry. I must sound
really pretentious right now.”
“Maybe it’s just the setting,” Levi said as he scanned the coffee joint. Eren’s
blush deepened and Levi’s tiny grin did nothing to serve his ego. “It’s a joke,
kid,” Levi assured him. “Believe me. I know a thing or two about
pretentiousness, and you’re not giving off that vibe. If you were, I wouldn’t
still be here.” Levi’s eyes were giving nothing away, but their steely gaze
bore into him and made his throat go dry. Eren looked down and fidgeted.
No one had ever made him so incredibly self-analytical. The longer he sat there
with Levi, the more worried he was about saying the right thing or not making a
dumb face. It was nerve-wracking and… exhilarating. He couldn’t tell if it was
the caffeine, the nerves, or a combination of the two, but his heart rate had
reached a frantic flutter and all that his brain could register was the man
sitting across from him and the rich aroma of coffee wafting around them.
He took a sip of his coffee as an excuse to compose his thoughts before
continuing. “My dream is to go to Sina School for the Arts. Then I can learn
more about technique and stuff.”
Levi finally looked away from him to take a sip of his own drink. Then he cast
a mischievous look at Eren from over his mug and said, “But that’s a long way
off, isn’t it?”
As Eren frowned, Levi’s grin only widened. “Just how old do you think I am?”
Levi eyed Eren’s T-shirt. “Well considering you still listen to The Offspring,
I’m guessing… 15.”
While it was obvious by his expression that the man was messing with him, it
was hard not to be slightly offended. “I’m 17,” he shot back. “And The
Offspring’s a good band. We can’t all be into to dark, moody, emo shit.” He
didn’t regret that remark. Not this time.
Levi rolled his eyes, exasperated. “There you go with the emo again. I may have
been a teenager when that trend was an actual thing, but I’m not. And I never
was.”
So Eren was correct in assuming that Levi wasn’t as old as his job would lead
one to believe. He regarded him with a curious look, which Levi returned. “So
you’re what? 25?” he asked.
“23.” That infuriating grin was back. Eren’s heart sank a bit. He’d known that
Levi was most likely in his 20’s, but having it confirmed stung a bit. He
probably wanted nothing to do with a teenager. But then again, he was still
sitting there, wasn’t he?
Time passed uncertainly in that coffee house. With Eren asking Levi questions
and Levi giving short, concise answers. Letting Eren do most of the talking.
Levi listened intently as Eren talked about work. He complained about the
convenience store being boring. But so was the bookstore. But at least it was
inspiring, he’d said. He asked Levi how he liked The Catcher in the Rye so far.
“I haven’t read it since high school,” Levi mused. “It’s not how I remember it.
But I like it.”
“Maybe the translation is off,” Eren suggested, shrugging slightly.
“Maybe. But I’m not talking about the words. It just feels different.” He was
still fiddling with his coffee cup, which had long since been emptied. Eren
watched him, waiting for him to elaborate, but then he was abruptly rising from
his seat and pulling his coat on. “Well. I’m gonna go,” he said, and Eren was
simply stunned into silence by the sudden halt in conversation until Levi
asked, “Are you gonna be alright getting home?” He looked down at the teen, who
was dazedly reaching behind him for his sweatshirt.
“Y-Yeah.” He got up shakily and Levi nodded. He stood there, presumably waiting
for Eren to give him a formal goodbye, but was instead given a sly smile. “So,
was this a date?” Eren tried to sound confident, but was throwing an internal
celebration party over the fact that he’d managed to keep his voice steady.
Levi stared at him, eyebrows raised and pinched together, condescension
building. “A date?” He asked. “You are 15.” Eren’s smirk faded and he was back
to sulking. Levi chuckled. “Think of it how you want. But don’t expect this to
become a regular thing, alright?”
As usual, Eren couldn’t exactly tell if Levi was being serious, and he didn’t
really want to have to ask. But he didn’t intend to let him stay away. At
least, not until he flat out told him that he wasn’t interested. So he dared a
playful, “See you later.”
But it was as if the last half-hour had all been a product of Eren’s
imagination. Levi was back to his usual, impassive self and he uttered a short
and unaffected, “Bye,” before acknowledging the barista with a small nod as
they bid him farewell and disappearing out the door. Eren watched him get into
his car and pull out of the parking lot and then had to endure the unexpected
awkwardness of being the last person in the shop and having to pretend not to
notice the peculiar look that the barista gave him as he thanked them and made
his way outside.
Eren pulled his hood over his head and squinted up at the street lamp that
washed the sidewalk out with sickly yellow light. Sighing somewhat dreamily, he
began his trek home. The sound of his footsteps over varying terrains kept him
grounded as he reflected on the events of the night.
It was made clear through the course of their date (if it was, in fact, a date)
that Eren was interested in Levi, and while it was all too obvious that Levi
was well aware of the age difference, he had been the one to text Eren and
invite him out. Unfortunatelyfor Eren, the man was about as easy to decipher as
ancient hieroglyphics and the only thing he was certain of by the end of the
night was that he wanted Levi.
As he reached the wall that separated the two sides, he instinctually tuned his
senses into the surrounding area. In the darkness, he couldn’t shake the
feeling of hidden eyes following his every move and he picked up the pace and
presses a hand against the outline of the switchblade resting in his pocket.
He was suddenly coming to an involuntary stop when his hood was tugged off of
his head and held in an unfamiliar grip and he whirled around to meet the eyes
of the horse-faced kid he’d fought days earlier.
“Well, look who it is.”
“You.” Eren wrenched his clothing from the young Wing’s hold, mind immediately
flooding with images of Mikasa and Armin being threatened at knifepoint. And
all because this guy decided to be a prick. Eren’s jaw clenched as that
familiar anger crept over him.
The other boy stepped back folding his arms and smirking loftily. “I thought I
told your sister and your little blonde friend to tell you to keep to your
side.” As he mentioned them, Eren’s anger spiked and his hands formed tight
fists, built-in weapons, locked and loaded. Horse Face laughed. “They’re lucky
they were cute, or they might not have made it back unharmed.”
White hot rage washed over Eren and he glowered at the arrogant asshole,
growling through gritted teeth, “You son of a bitch.” Practically shaking with
anger, he sent a flying punch and relished the sickening crackas it connected
with his jaw. The kid stumbled backwards, hand cradling his cheek. The other
teen threw a punch in retaliation, but Eren dodged, only to have the kid make
contact with his shoulder using his non-dominate fist. The smug bastard was
grinning again and Eren wasted no time letting the seething fury propel him
towards him once again. He threw another rage-powered blow, hitting the other
squarely in the nose and sending him to the ground. Eren was on him in a
second, spine hunched dramatically as he grabbed a fist full of his shirt and
screamed into his face. “Don’t touch them! Don’t you ever touch them! All of
you Wings!” Eren could feel his blood boiling over under his skin as he landed
hit after hit to the boy’s ugly mug and yelled, “Fuck you!”
Over the ringing in his ears and the pumping of adrenaline, Eren could here
footsteps to the left of him and then a quiet, stern voice was saying, “Jean.”
Snapped momentarily out of his blind frenzy, he looked over to identify the
speaker. Standing a few feet away was a small girl with blonde, tied-up hair,
flanked on either side by two larger guys: one tall brunet and one burly blond.
Eren’s eyes narrowed at the intruders until he heard laughter bubbling up from
beneath him and his glare whipped back down to the boy, who he now assumed to
be Jean. His thoroughly battered face had broken into and eerie sneer and just
as Eren felt his lungs begin to expand with a new breath, they were violently
halted by a powerful kick to his ribs that rolled him off of Jean and slammed
his shoulder into the unforgiving concrete. He lifted him self onto all fours
on wobbly arms. The taste of iron hit his tongue and he spat blood onto the
pavement. Then there was a foot pressed to his back and he was forced flat onto
the ground by the weight of it. The air was once again expunged from his lungs
through a pained grunt as his chest was crushed against the sidewalk and every
breath following burned like acid. Cold and rough cement bit into his cheek and
he glared viciously up at his attacker through one burning, green eye.
She stared down at him, blue eyes hard an unfeeling. She made no move to
assault him further but her boot remained firmly planted between his shoulder
blades, holding him face down on the sidewalk, and he struggled to push her off
but to no avail. Beside him, the two dudes that she had with her were helping
Jean up off the ground and supporting him with their shoulders as they looked
on.
Eren was growling like an animal. Rabid snarls tore from his mouth through
shallow puffs of air, agitation only growing due to the fact that the girl
appeared far too composed as he fought against her. Like she was mocking him.
Eren felt cornered and dangerouslypissed. Lifting his hips just enough to grant
him access to his pocket, Eren’s hand flew to retrieve his switchblade.
Grasping the handle of the stiletto and pulling it out, he barely had time to
flick it open before another foot slammed down onto his hand and knocked the
knife from his grip. He heard it skitter over the pavement and then she was
snatching it up and sitting on him, securing one hand behind his back by the
wrist. His shoulder protested the awkward angle and he cried out in pain. He
was silenced as she held the blade out for him to see.
He froze, breathing quickening, watching the way the light played along the
steel edge. The ringing in his ears was deafening but it was silent around
them; maddeningly so. She watched him with an odd curiosity, a cat and its
prey, and they stayed there, completely and perfectly still.
The hesitant voice of Jean broke the suffocating silence. “Uh… Annie.” It was
meekest Eren had ever heard him sound. No one moved.
“It’s alright,” the buffer of her two male companions said coolly. Jean looked
from him back to Annie just as she folded the knife closed and slipped it into
her own pocket. Eren sprang back to life, thrashing around and commanding her
to give it back. Fingers wrapped his hair in a too-tight grip and they were
pushing. His forehead knocked against the pavement and with a ‘thump,’ he fell
motionless, overcome with a rush of intense dizziness and delirium. The
sensation of the cool concrete against him was rapidly slipping away as
darkness nipped at his vision, and the last thing Eren saw were their backs as
they walked away.
Chapter End Notes
     *quietly sneaks out the back*
***** "Mothers are all slightly insane" *****
Chapter Notes
     I'm back! Sorry I haven't been around. It's the end of the semester
     and college/job and apartment hunting sucks right now. Plus I've got
     a nasty cold so my brain is pretty useless at times... Am I over
     sharing?
     This chapter is also in Eren's point of view as opposed to Levi's
     because I guess the kid just wanted you all to get a better look into
     his mind? As a result, this chapter is very Eren-centric, which means
     no Levi. He's only briefly mentioned at the very end so just a heads
     up. If I'm being honest, this one felt a little weird to me so let me
     know what you think/ask questions, etc.
     Also, I apologize in advance for the melodrama... but I actually kind
     of like it tbh...
     Oh and my sister offered to draw a bit of art for this fic which
     would be AMAZING so I might have some to post to my tumblr soon.
     Here's hoping anyway.
     Enjoy.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
There are certain times when you just know that someone else is thinking the
exact same thing that you are right as your thinking it. You can feel it in the
air; a current that allows both of your brains to sync up perfectly for just a
moment, and neither of you has to say a word. In that moment, Armin and Eren
shared one, particular thought.
‘It is too god damned early in the morning on a school day for this.’
“Ouch.” Eren winced as the alcohol-soaked swab was dabbed against the scrape on
his forehead. Armin was doing his best at being gentle, but it still stung like
a bitch.
“Sorry.” Armin’s eyes flicked down to meet Eren’s apologetically before
returning to the task at hand. “Y’know, maybe you should go to the hospital.
How do you know you don’t have a concussion?” He tossed the used cotton ball
into the nearby waste bin.
Eren shrugged, nonchalant. “I got up and walked my ass all the way over here,
didn’t I? What are the symptoms? Besides a throbbing headache, because that’s
kinda to be expected.” He brought both hands up to massage his temples. He was
still experiencing occasional dizzy spells and his head felt like someone had
cracked a cinderblock over it, but that went without saying, whether he had a
concussion or not.
“Confusion?” Armin offered. “What’s 8 times 7?”
“56.”
“What’s my favorite color?”
“Maroon.”
“What’s the atomic mass of titanium?”
“Armin.”
“47.9. You fail.” Armin shook his head, looking at Eren with faux
disappointment.
“Stop.” Eren didn’t bother to hide his smirk.
Armin chuckled. “You’re probably ok. Did you say you got kicked in the ribs?”
He gestured toward Eren’s ribs with a nod.
“Yes.” Eren said softly, reluctantly.
“Lemme see.” Eren slowly lifted his shirt up, craning his neck to check the
damage for himself. His friend inspected the purple blotches with a clinical
stare. “How do they feel?”
Eren sighed and rolled his shirt back down. “They’re sore. But tolerable.”
Armin closed his first aid kit. “I guess you got lucky.”
Eren wasn’t sure it had anything to do with luck. But he didn’t think telling
Armin that would do a whole lot of good at this point. He also made the
conscious decision to leave out the part about having his knife stolen. He
watched his friend’s back as he put the kit away in its place. His shoulders
were tensed only slightly, but Eren noticed anyway. “You’re not mad are you?”
Armin turned around calmly, like he’d been expecting the question. “No, I’m not
mad. It’s not like you’re doing any of this to upset me.”
“So, you’re upset?”
Armin gave Eren that ‘you’re an idiot’ look that he knew all too well. “Of
course I’m upset. My best friend’s a giant target. You might as well be walking
around with a ‘kick me’ sign taped to you’re back at all times.” He had his
arms crossed now and Eren still wasn’t sure where this was coming from. They
were Keys. They were all targets.
“You’ve seen me get in a million fights. And I’ve lost a fair chunk of them.”
Armin shrugged one shoulder. By now, it was clear that he wasn’t angry, but he
certainly wasn’t willing to let it go just yet. “I know. But it’s different.
The more time you spend over there, the bigger a threat you are.”
Eren felt that familiar spark return to his veins. “Good,” he clipped. “Let
them be threatened.”
Armin rolled his eyes. Eren had been getting a lot of that too lately. “It’s
not a good thing, Eren. They’re expecting you now. They’ll have plans for the
next time they see you.”
“Armin, we’ve talked about this. We can’t let them scare us.”
“Well I can’t help that I’m scared.”
This was not said frantically or angrily. Armin appeared almost relaxed when he
admitted to this, and it meant something. Eren knew.
He would always be astounded by Armin’s honesty, his candidness, how easily it
came to him. If there was a single person he knew would never bullshit him, it
was Armin. With that in mind, and with the potential severity of that last
little confession suddenly weighing on his chest, he figured he could at least
return Armin’s openness by expressing his own fear… as well as he could,
anyway. He wasn’t anywhere near as good as wearing his heart on his sleeve as
his friend. But then again, nobody was. A few seconds went by and Eren said
nothing, hardly moving until he inhaled a deep, solid breath and said steadily,
“You’re not thinking of trying to quit are you?”
Armin’s expression was that of genuine shock. His eyes shifted instinctually
and he spoke in a voice was much more hushed then before. “I couldn’t. Not
now.”
Eren almost didn’t give Armin enough time to finish talking before he replied,
“You could. Would you?” Armin’s eyes were large and not proportional to his
face and Eren realized then that he must have been looking pretty severe.
But that was nothing new, and there was zero hesitation when Armin replied,
“No. The Keys are my family.” He stuck his thumb over his shoulder, gesturing
to the other rooms in the back of the warehouse that accommodated several of
their fellow Keys. “Besides, we get treated like second class citizens purely
based on where we live… It’s bullshit.”
Eren just nodded in passionate agreement. Armin wasn’t just referring to the
Wings. Even the cops couldn’t give two shits what happened to anyone living on
the ‘bad side of town.’ The already failing businesses were targets for theft.
People lost their jobs, their homes. And kids were beaten up left and right
just for crossing the border. Eventually they realized there was strength in
numbers and thus, the Keys were born. Up until that point, it had only been an
alliance meant to protect one another and defend what shit territory they had.
But things hadn’t gotten any better.
Armin had been watching the sun get higher in the sky through his window, but
he finally looked back over to Eren and offered him a wry smile. “I guess it’s
not gonna be all fun and games anymore.”
Eren swallowed dryly, shook his head, and breathed, “No,” because it was really
all he could say.
From inside the poorly insulated walls of the warehouse, they could feel the
bite of early morning dew lifting. Armin said, “Yeah, I get it.”
He got that things needed to change. Not matter what. And if they were going to
be in a gang, they needed to quit dicking around. And he got that Eren was
angry. Angrier than he’d ever been.
Armin was too. Because this wasn’t what any of them saw for themselves, or each
other.
They kind of realized this too late.
The well deserved silence following this revelation was cut short by the sound
of Armin’s cell phone vibrating in his pocket. Both boys jumped, startled, and
then Armin was shoving his hand in his pocket to retrieve it.
Without taking his eyes of the screen, he uttered a strained, “It’s Mikasa.”
“Shit.” Eren patted his own front pocket out of habit. “My phones off. She’s
probably a mess.” Knowing his sister, she’d already tried to call him at least
ten times.
Armin finally looked back up at his friend to ask cautiously, “Should I answer
it?”
“No shit answer it!”
Armin answered and pressed the phone to his ear. “H-Hello.” Eren could hear
Mikasa’s voice from where he was sitting. “He’s here with me… Yeah, he’s ok…
His phone is off… Ok.”
He handed the phone over to Eren then and Eren took it and said softly, “Hey,
Mikasa.”
“Eren! What happened?” He was once again made aware of his unrelenting headache
and he pulled the phone a few inches from his face with a wince.
He sighed, pressing two fingers to his forehead in a vain attempt to lessen the
throbbing. “Nothing happened. My phone just died.”
“You couldn’t have used Armin’s phone?”
“You’re mothering me…”
“Sorry. I was worried.” She sounded just shy of offended.
Eren’s voice softened when he spoke again. “I know. I’m sorry. But I’m fine.
Are you ok?”
There was a moment of dead air in which Armin and Eren exchanged glances and
then Mikasa said suddenly, “Mom’s here.”
Eren perked up at this and Armin shot him another look. “She is?” he asked, and
then, somewhat warily, “What’d she say?”
“She didn’t say anything. But she might like to see you.” He heard her take a
breath. “I don’t know how much longer she’ll be here though.”
Eren shook his head once the realization hit him. “Wait. Why aren’t you at
school?”
“I think the better question is: why aren’t you?”
Eren shrugged despite his sister not being there to see it. “Lost a fight.”
“You said you were fine.”
“I am now. Really, Mikasa.” Eren came home with scrapes and bruises regularly.
He knew that she was used to it by now and if he said he was fine, she wouldn’t
push it. “You can go to school now.”
“Are you going?”
He really didn’t think he was up to it but he tried not to make a habit of
skipping. “I dunno. I probably should. I’ll decide later. I’m going home either
way. I’ll see you later, alright?”
“K. See ya.”
“Bye.” Eren ended the call and breathed another sigh.
“You’re mom’s home?” Armin guessed.
Eren handed him his phone back and rubbed at his forehead again. “Yeah. Feels
like it’s been forever since I’ve seen her.”
Armin smiled gently. “She works a lot though.”
“Yeah but we usually see each other more often.” He picked at a spot of dried-
up mud that had crusted to the knee of his jeans. “I mean, she still sleeps at
the house. As far as I know.”
Armin pursed his lips as he watched Eren brush flecks of dried muck onto his
bed spread. “Do you wanna borrow some clothes?”
Eren looked down at himself and eyed the collection of blood specks and patches
of dirt dotting his shirt and pants. “Yeah that’s probably a good idea.”
===============================================================================
 
Armin had dug his most oversized shirt and sweats from the bottom of his
dresser and sent Eren on his way. While they managed to cover his stomach and
ankles, they still didn’t seem to fit comfortably and Eren hurried home to
change into some clean, broken-in clothing.
He called out to her the minute he got the door open. “Mom?”
Eren’s jaw tightened when he didn’t hear a reply. The car was parked in the
driveway so he knew he hadn’t missed her. It wasn’t until he shut the door
behind him that he heard his own name ring from down the hallway.
“Eren?” It seemed like years had passed since he’d heard that clear, honeyed
voice. He followed the sound to her room.
She was sitting up in bed, free of make-up, having obviously just been asleep,
with her brown hair untied and draping over her shoulders. She looked
exhausted, but the tired lines rimming her eyes went unnoticed when Eren
watched her face light up as he entered the doorway. “Hey mom.”
“Eren.” She beamed warmly at him. “How come you’re not at school?” She looked
confused but not upset.
“I felt sick, so I came home.” If anything, it had certainly become easier to
lie to her since she’d spent so much time away.
Her face softened and she swung her legs over the side of the bed and beckoned
Eren over. “What’s the matter? Here. Lemme check you for a fever.” As he got
closer, she frowned, lips tight, and took his face in her hands, effectively
trapping him so she could examine the gash on his forehead. “What happened
here? You’re not still fighting, are you?” Eren could feel the motherly
reprimand budding and it didn’t feel justified. She had no right to scold him.
Like she knew him.
He shook his head between his mother’s hands, feeling the warmth of her palms
against his cheeks. “No, mom. I just hit my head on my desk.”
She smiled sympathetically and released his face to press the back of her hand
to his forehead. “Well you don’t have a fever. Just go and lie down, ok?” Eren
nodded and slowly turned away. He’d almost reached her door before she stopped
him. “Oh! I almost forgot.” She reached for her purse on the nightstand and
pulled out her wallet. Eren eyed the small stack of cash she held out to him.
“For you and Mikasa,” she said.
He walked back over to the bed and plucked the money from her hand. He muttered
a small “Thanks,” as he flipped through the bills and then, after some silence,
“Where’ve you been, mom?”
“What do you mean?” She said it slowly and carefully, like she knew exactly
what he meant, and wished she didn’t.
“I mean, why haven’t you been home in ages?”
“Oh, I’ve been here. I just get home late and leave early most days. You know
how it is working multiple jobs.” Eren stared into here eyes, unblinking. She
hadn’t been there. He knew. He had also come home late. He’d stayed up to
finish his homework. Some nights he’d stayed awake just incase he could catch
her. But she hadn’t come home. It must have gotten easier for her to lie to him
as well, he thought. “I miss you both so much,” she said, somewhat strained.
“But I want you two to save all the money you make and put it towards school. I
don’t want you to worry about where your meals are coming from. I know it sucks
that I’m not around, but I’m doing it all for you and Mikasa. You know that,
right?” Eren was sure this was meant to be reassuring. But it didn’t sound
reassuring to Eren’s ears. It sounded drawn out and grated and painful. It was
times like these when Eren hated his father. He hated him so horribly for
leaving her. For leaving all of them.
“Yeah.”
“I love you.” She held her hands out so she could cradle his face again and he
complied. “My Eren,” she murmured, brushing under his eyes with her thumbs.
“I love you too, Mom.”
===============================================================================
 
Admittedly, Eren should have gone to school. He should have tried to paint with
brushes and oils. But his brain was buzzing with too many words and staying in
that house was not an option. Because it probably would driven him insane.
So he shoved as many random cans of spray paint into his backpack that would
comfortably fit and headed for the wall.
For Eren, graffiti wasn’t particularly therapeutic. Nor was it even really art.
It was more like using art as an excuse to let everyone know that he was there.
He was alive and he felt things. Symbolism and motivation didn’t matter there.
Not to him. It was just something, something raw. Raw with whatever was burning
hot and aching inside his chest. It was the click of a can as he shook it. A
burst of color. An occasional whiff of the fumes through his respirator.
And it surprised him that he didn’t have to think about it. His mind was a
wonderful, tranquil blank and it was only after he had finished and stood back
to get a good look that he was able to process his own work.
Eren didn’t know what made him turn a corner and vandalize the other side of
the wall, even after he was done and had packed up his supplies. But he did.
He hadn’t even planned on spraying it initially. Normally, he would have left
it alone. Graffiti wasn’t a matter of territory for him so he was content to
keep it contained to the slums. But he felt obliged to identify the irony in
the scribbled word ‘freedom,’ blasted underneath a painting of the Wings’
symbol. Eren almost laughed as he unzipped his backpack and pulled out a can
without looking. He shook it, enjoying the satisfying clack of the ball
rattling inside. He hastily scrawled ‘to obey’ in bright green paint next to
the word and he could imagine Levi glaring at him with those eyes of his and he
wondered,
What would he think of me now?
Chapter End Notes
     Another Catcher in the Rye quote
***** Fuck The Rain *****
Chapter Notes
     *raspberry noise* I've returned. I wanted to make a comeback with a
     longer chapter, but I was feeling a little insecure and writing was a
     bit daunting so I just needed to crank out a shorter one to get back
     into the groove. But I'll update again soon-ish. I promise... I
     promise this time.
     Ugh, this is the cheesiest thing I've ever written and it's only
     going to get worse. I'm actually rolling my eyes FOR you.
     Enjoy anyway
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Being the kind of person Levi was, one might have expected that he was fond of
rainy weather. But he wasn’t. At all. He hated it, and it didn’t help that it
was coming down in thick sheets and sending vibrations through his skull,
soaking his hair and making him feel like a wet, sewer rat of the slums.     
When he’d set out to deliver drugs to his sole buyer on this side of town, the
sky was cloudy, but not dark. He still refused to leave his car unattended,
even for a few minutes, when Keys could potentially be around to trash it. His
car was not particularly impressive. Quite the opposite, it was downright ugly,
the passenger door squeaked every time it was opened, and Levi had managed to
smash the right headlight within the first week that he bought it and never
bothered to get it fixed. But it ran and he kept it immaculate and he preferred
that it stayed that way.
It came without warning. Not a light drizzle or a wayward drop here or there.
It was as if the sky had suddenly turned the faucet on full blast. At least,
that was how Levi perceived it. In reality, it was much more likely that his
mind had simply wandered too far off to notice it before it had gotten out of
hand.
It was how he found himself sulking underneath the awning of a familiar
bookstore, glaring up at the sky while simultaneously having to try too hard
not to turn around and look into the window. He managed to keep himself
distracted with a cigarette and the somewhat unnecessary justification that
this bookstore just happened to be the closest building with an overhang. It
certainly had nothing to do with the fact that a certain brat also worked
there. Surely.
It was there, soaking up the smoke and listening to the rain pound out a
natural rhythm on the roof of the store, Levi wondered how shops like this were
even surviving in the ghetto at all. He’d been the only customer in the store
the day he met Eren and not a single person had gone inside since he’d shown
up. While that could have been attributed to the bad weather, he had a feeling
that wasn’t really the reason. He couldn’t imagine anyone from this side being
particularly well-read.
The rain fell harder still and Levi was ready to allow himself to relax,
figuring that if the teen had been working, he would have noticed him loitering
by that point and probably would have said something.
And then the door chimed and he wondered if it was too late to start running.
He figured the best thing to do would be to ignore it, as there was a chance
that it wasn’t even Eren at all, but that would have made things far too easy.
“Levi.” He said it like a host opening their door for a highly anticipated
guest and it irked Levi considerably, making the scowl he shot Eren, one he
originally thought he was going to have to force, much more genuine. Eren
recoiled only slightly before putting on the best pair of innocent, child-like
eyes Levi had ever seen. Now the kid was just playing dirty. Levi gritted his
teeth and forced himself to look away.
“What are you doing here?” Eren asked, moving away from the door to stand by
Levi’s side. He wrapped his hands around his own upper arms as a way to fight
the October chill and watched the rain. 
The ashes of Levi’s cigarette became ten times more interesting when he needed
somewhere to put his eyes besides the boy next to him. “Waiting for the rain to
let up.”
Eren grunted, smiling a lopsided smile that Levi caught briefly from his
peripheral. “You could have come inside.”
Levi took one last drag off his cigarette and held the smoke in his lungs as he
dropped the cancer stick and crushed it under his boot. “I could have,” he said
flippantly, finally daring to glance over at Eren, who was watching him
carefully. “But that would have given you an excuse to ask me out on another
shitty date.”
Eren didn’t seem put-off by the comment, as Levi had intended, instead he took
it as a challenge, and he faced Levi with his arms folded and one eyebrow
lifted smugly. “You were the one who invited me out for coffee, remember?”
Levi could have punched him then, or he could have just walked away. But he did
neither. In an effort to appear unaffected, he resorted to flicking his lighter
and letting the heat from the small flame roll across the tips of his fingers
in order to warm them up. “Only so I could scare you off.” Hard, gunmetal grey
seared into Eren from beneath pale, heavy lids, but if Eren was at all
intimated, he didn’t show it.
He didn’t say anything in response to Levi. Instead, he stepped away from him
while maintaining eye contact, still facing Levi as he walked slowly backward
until he was no longer being shielded by the overhang, letting the rain dampen
his hair and leave dark spots of wetness on his hoodie. Levi frowned, confused
at first, until Eren stopped and stood and stared at him, eyes glinting as a
drop of water tracked down his face from his forehead. “You don’t like the
rain?” He was still holding Levi’s stare, challenging. But Levi had no problem
breaking eye contact with him. He didn’t want to play.
“Hate it.” Levi said bluntly.
With a large intake of breath, Eren tilted his head back to look up at the sky,
squinting and letting the pleasant pinpricks of water cool his face. “But it’s
beautiful,” he breathed.
Under the awning, Levi felt his throat tighten as he watched Eren enjoying the
rain and a tingling heat washed over him when his gaze caught the drops that
trickled down the boy’s stretched neck. This needed to stop. “You look like a
moron,” he bit out. “Get back under here.”
Eren looked at him again, locking eyes with him, and there was something
different about the way he looked at Levi then, something almost sensual, and
Levi decided that this was much, much worse. “Come out here.” He said it low
and gentle, almost alarmingly so, but Levi wasn’t about to go weak-kneed over
some kid.
“You’re a bigger idiot than I thought if you think I’m setting foot out there.”
Eren rolled his eyes but smiled, letting his smooth façade break and allowing
Levi to regain his footing. “It’s just water.”
“Disgusting, polluted water.”
“But you’re already wet.”
“Doesn’t mean I want it to get worse.”
“C’mon. Don’t be a nerd.” Eren was sauntering back over to Levi then and Levi
instinctively began backing away.
Levi scoffed, watching as Eren shrunk the space between them. He was smart
enough to know where this was going and he wasn’t about to let it happen. “A
nerd? That’s the best you could come up with?” Eren just grinned playfully,
eyes dancing as Levi’s body tensed in spite of himself and just as the shorter
man reached up to push the teen back, his wrists were snatched up in two strong
hands and Eren was pulling him forward, leaning back and using his own weight
to overpower him. “No. No! Fuck you, you little shit. Lemme go.”
Levi was hardly a weakling and he anchored himself in place as Eren tried to
yank him along. He was giggling, the brat.
“Leeeeeviiiii,” Eren sing-songed. Levi grunted and twisted his arms around,
attempting to wrench them free from Eren’s grip. He actually allowed the shock
to show on his face, or rather, he couldn’t really stop it, when Eren gave one
especially hard tug and Levi was stumbling forward and out into the elements.
“You shitty brat!” Levi yelled, though he sounded more defeated than angry, and
Eren laughed merrily at the sour expression on Levi’s face, which was now being
thoroughly assaulted by droplets of water.
As he stepped back to retreat back under the awning, Levi realized that Eren
still hadn’t let go of his wrists, and that he had stopped laughing. He looked
up at Eren, who was obviously trying to seem cool and confident, but the light
blush that was creeping all the way up to his ears betrayed those intentions.
He’d gotten closer somehow without Levi noticing and their faces were close
enough now that Levi could make out the faint freckles that dusted the bridge
of Eren’s nose, and the wetness of his eyelashes. His lips were just barely
parted and he was taking in tiny breaths through his mouth as moisture dripped
from his bangs. Levi didn’t try to move away, he stood and wondered if Eren was
brave enough to make a move, and if he even wanted him too. Eren was probably
hoping that Levi would initiate, but he couldn’t have expected him to, and the
two men stayed still, eyes locked on one another’s and barely registering the
rain that seeped through their hair and down their necks, fierce and chilling.
Levi tried to swallow, but his mouth and throat were dry, cottony, and he was
the first to look away as he said softly, “C’mon.”
He felt Eren release his wrists then and his eyes widened as Levi brushed past
him and started walking out into the street.
“Where are we going?” Eren’s voice sounded dazed and far away.
Levi stopped and turned back around and Eren was still standing on the sidewalk
looking flustered and it was almost endearing. “To my car.”
Eren shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket and looked down at the
ground. “To just sit?” He asked.
Levi walked back onto the sidewalk and Eren drew into himself as Levi squinted
at him for making him stand around in the rain for longer than necessary.
“We’re going to my apartment, Dumbass. And don’t take that the wrong way. I
just wanna change into something dry.”
It was clear that Levi did not care that Eren was still technically working and
apparently neither did Eren, because he ran back into the store to flip the
‘Open’ sign to ‘Closed’ and quickly locked up while Levi waited impatiently.
Eren chattered the entire way to the car. Levi assumed it was out of
nervousness because most of things he was talking about were random and not
particularly interesting; food, insects, infomercials. But Levi listened anyway
and gave nod or a small hum of acknowledgement every once in a while to assure
Eren that he was definitely paying attention.
Eren shivered as they passed between the wall and reached Levi’s car.
“Your car’s a piece of shit.” Eren said bluntly as Levi jiggled the key
forcefully in the lock of the driver’s side door.
Levi huffed as he was finally able to turn the key and unlock the door. “You’re
telling me.” He opened the door and pressed the button that unlocked the
passenger side. “Get in.” Eren obliged wordlessly and got himself situated
while Levi plugged the cassette adapter into his phone and held it out to him,
going, “Here. Pick something.”
Levi valued silence and, more often than not, he preferred to drive without
music, but he didn’t think Eren would appreciate a quiet car ride home at this
point. Eren just blinked at the device for a moment as Levi started the engine
and pulled out into the street. As the car coasted steadily down Rose Avenue,
Eren browsed Levi’s music library with careful consideration. Levi was about to
get annoyed and tell him to ‘just fucking pick something,’ when he eventually
settled for a song, carefully set the phone on the center console and waited.
Levi’s eyes shot over to the stereo as soon as he recognized the upbeat guitar
of the well-loved Cheap Trick track. A sly smile played on the corners of his
mouth. Eren seem determined to keep looking forward.
“I Want You To Want Me?” Levi said, taking a sideways glance at Eren and
nothing more. “Aren’t you being a little obvious, Kid?”
Eren still wasn’t looking at him, but he grinned devilishly and Levi caught it.
“Aren’t you?”
Chapter End Notes
     How do I romance?
***** Let Me Draw The Blinds Closed *****
Chapter Notes
     Bleh. Man, I really can't just stick with one tone for this fic, can
     I? Sometimes I really like the juxtaposition and other times, it
     really throws me off. But it'll probably still be working more of
     that in where I really think it would pack a punch!
     Fun fact: I was like halfway through this chapter and then I decided
     it wasn't working and rewrote it. So that's why it's short... and
     late...
“Home, sweet home, blah blah blah, take you’re shoes off at the door.” Levi
pushed the door to his apartment open and Eren stepped only far enough inside
to avoid getting smacked by the door as it shut. He should have been used to
Levi’s short, straight-to-the-point attitude, and he was, for the most part.
But being in the man’s own home caused him to resort back to being a
metaphorical deer in the headlights. He stood uncomfortably in front of the
door trying to quiet his pounding heartbeat. Levi stared at him until he had
gained back enough mobility to toe his shoes off and then the older man walked
over to record player that was set up in the far corner of the room. “You like
Radiohead?” Eren just nodded and swallowed. He watched, mesmerized as the
record spun and he could hear the faint scratching of the needle against vinyl
until the low drone of 1990’s angst filled the tiny room, and he wondered why
Levi chose such an outdated form of music. “Wait here,” Levi said, breaking
Eren’s trance. “I’m gonna get changed.” He eyed Eren’s taller frame somewhat
disapprovingly. “I’ll find you something to wear after. I’m sure I’ve
gotsomething that’ll fit you.”
Eren sat stiffly on the sofa, which Levi had reluctantly allowed him to do even
though his pants were still damp. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but
he couldn’t help feeling surprised by how downright uninspired Levi’s apartment
was. Sure, there were a few things on the walls and there wasn’t any visible
damage. It was also spotless, to the point of almost seeming sterile, like it
had never been lived in at all. It was cold.
Levi had shut the door to his bedroom, predictably, but Eren flinched slightly
when he heard the door open. Levi emerged freshly dressed, with mussed, towel-
dry hair and a pair of grey sweatpants and an oversized (for him) T-shirt. Eren
had a clear view down the hall from where he was sitting and he watched as Levi
walked towards him. It almost looked as though he were strutting, possibly
showing off, but Eren ate it up anyway.
Levi dropped the clothes next to Eren. “Sorry, Kid. This is all I’ve got. You
can get changed in the bathroom.” Eren just made an awkward sort of noise of
acknowledgement and grabbed the clothes so he could retreat down the hallway.
The second he got the door closed, he braced his hands on the countertop and
stared at his reflection in the mirror. He grimaced. He really did look like a
wet dog. Running his hands through his still-wet hair a few times in an attempt
to make it look less mopish only boosted his confidence about a fraction.
His heart hadn’t stopped racing since he and Levi had been standing in the rain
together. He’d been so sure of himself up until that point. The goal had just
been to get Levi to see him as more than just some bratty teenager and he
figured he could at least manage that much. But then Levi was rightthere. He
was so close. It was as if Eren’s entire brain had flat lined and all he could
do was look at him.
He caught himself blushing and he rubbed roughly at his cheeks with the heels
of his hands.
Fuck. What was wrong with him? Getting flustered like this. It wasn’t like him
at all and it scared him. He was usually pretty sure of himself, or at least
knew how to fake it, but Levi was a whole knew breed he just couldn’t figure
out. Also, he’d failed. He was still just a kid to Levi, and the older man
loved to make that painfully apparent with his oh-so-endearing nickname.
Eren ran his hands through his hair again, this time out of pure frustration,
and groaned audibly.
He heard Levi call from the other room. “Oi, Eren! Are you jacking it in there,
or what?”
In the mirror, Eren watched himself turn four different shades of red. “No!
I’ll be right out!” He stripped and threw the dry clothes on in record time. He
was only a little disappointed to find that they didn’t really smell like Levi.
Just some generic fabric softener.
When he entered the front room again, he discovered that Levi had turned the
music down considerably, but it was still humming softly in the background as
Levi flipped through channels on his muted television. He stopped at the front
of the hallway and Levi looked up at him. “I’m glad the clothes fit.”
Eren muttered a soft “thanks.” Having Levi’s clothes meant that he’d have to
return them at some point, which promised another chance of seeing him again.
Unless Levi just didn’t care about them anymore. He seemed to be accumulating a
lot sweats and T’s that didn’t belong to him lately.
There were a few more beats of silence while Eren stood there with his clothes
in his hands until Levi stopped flipping channels long enough to throw him his
signature ‘are you stupid?’ look. “What? Now that your soggy ass can’t get my
couch all wet, you don’t wanna sit on it?”
Eren managed a tiny smile while his teeth played at his bottom lip. He hadn’t
really thought about why exactly Levi had brought him to his apartment. He’d
taken the suggestion of changing into dry clothing at face value. But he was
quickly learning that that wasn’t going to get him very far when it came to
understanding Levi.
“It’s not that…” There was no need to respond to Levi’s earlier attempt at
humor, but he did. He felt Levi’s eyes on him as he went to put his clothes
down by his shoes.
“Afraid I’ll bite?” Another attempt to lighten the mood but there was a very
real curiosity behind it as well. Eren didn’t answer him this time.
Instead, he pointed at the record player as he went to sit down. “What’s with
the vinyl?”
Levi set the remote down on the armrest, having given up on finding something
to watch. There was still no sound coming from the TV and some nonspecific
action movie was playing on screen.
“The record player was my dad’s.” Levi gave a small, one-shouldered shrug. “Or
so I was told. He gave it to my mom before they split. We were poor so that’s
how we listened to music. And then I got it when she died and I figured ‘why
spend money on a stereo?’”
Eren really hadn’t expected the conversation to take that dramatic of a turn so
suddenly and he didn’t think Levi had meant for it too either. He didn’t sound
mournful, he was just stating facts, but Eren still wasn’t sure what to say so
he asked for clarification.
“Or so you were told?”
“I never met my father. He left before I was born.” Just another fact. Maybe.
Eren nodded.
“And your mom?”
“Died when I was 9. She just got sick. It wasn’t cancer or anything. It was
quicker than that. My grandmother raised me after that and then… Well, you can
probably guess.”
Eren was silent while he let that sink in. This was the most Levi had ever
talked about himself and Eren had definitely not been prepared.
“My dad left too.” Eren was worried it might have sounded like he was trying to
invalidate Levi’s experiences. But that wasn’t the case. He was just sharing
because Levi had told him something so personal and it was really the only way
he knew how to let him know he appreciated it without getting weird. And Levi
probably understood that. “I knew him though.”
“That’s probably worse.” Levi said.
“Because you wonder why you weren’t good enough.” Eren muttered.
“Yeah.”
 They went quiet again and Eren was glad for the music still playing from the
corner of the room. He felt like it made it easier to work through his own
thoughts. They weren’t just bouncing around in his head. He could project them
onto a song and make them more concrete. More real.
Levi’s gaze was moving languidly around the room but he looked back at Eren and
said, “My grandmother was the smartest person I ever knew. She never liked my
dad.” He had looked back at the TV at this point and Eren could tell he wasn’t
processing whatever was taking place on screen. “She didn’t want me to ever
feel like I wasn’t wanted. He was his own problem.” Levi’s jaw and mouth were
tense and Eren didn’t need to be a genius to figure out that this wasn’t really
something that Levi had ever intended on telling him. But he did it willingly,
most likely for Eren’s sake, and Eren didn’t exactly know what to make of that.
All he knew was that Levi was looking at him again and that he probably wanted
to change the subject.
“Why did you invite me out for coffee that night?”
“I don’t know.” It wasn’t meant maliciously and Eren didn’t take it that way.
“I guess I just didn’t want to be alone that night. And I prefer coffee to
blackjack.” He smiled a bit, but it seemed fatigued.
“I’m glad you did.” Eren returned Levi’s smile.
The rain had finally let up so he couldn’t hear the quiet sprinkling from
outside anymore. The only sounds left around them were the buzzing of the
refrigerator, and Radiohead.
Eren felt Levi’s fingers sliding over his hand, warm and dry. Gentle, but
purposeful all the same, and Eren stayed incredibly still as he stared down at
the hand resting on top of his. His pulse was surprisingly calm after their
little talk and Eren was grateful for that. Because Levi surely would have felt
it otherwise.
Eren still wasn’t moving and Levi didn’t mind. He leaned forward until their
faces were inches apart, a reproduction of the scene outside the bookstore. But
there was something so critically different this time as Levi looked up at him
through heavily lidded eyes.
Eren’s breath shook and he whispered, “Levi-,” not knowing what he was going to
say but needing to say something; and that’s when Levi kissed him. And it was
soft and delicate and almost… sweet? Eren didn’t think that was quite the right
word.
Levi pulled away to look back into Eren’s eyes, silently asking if this was
alright, and Eren answered by moving forward himself this time and pressing his
lips against Levi’s again. This kiss was much deeper than the last, and it only
got more feverish as Levi snaked his hand up to Eren’s cheek and then slid it
further back to rest in his hair.
Eren wasn’t sure what to do with his hands, but he felt Levi twisting his body
to face him more and he placed them gently on either side of his waist. This
proved to be the right choice, because Levi immediately parted their lips and
slid his tongue into Eren’s mouth. It was aggressive, but not suffocating, but
Eren felt his breath leave him anyway when Levi placed his other hand on his
thigh and Eren gripped harder at his waist while Levi arched gracefully up into
him.
The feel of Levi’s lips against his own and the tang of his tongue, it all
became too much for Eren, and a small, involuntary whimper made it’s way from
the back of his throat.
Levi broke the kiss again, breathing raggedly as he looked at him and his eyes
were swimming with too many emotions. Eren could see that this was some sort of
catharsis that Levi hadn’t planned. But Eren was there and Levi needed this for
reasons he was not yet fully aware of. He was okay with that. “Eren. This
isn’t-”
“I know,” Eren murmered, leaning in to kiss him again.
***** If We Parted Ways Now, I'd Be Fine *****
Chapter Notes
     Hey! It's been a while. This is still on hiatus because I'm about to
     get busy with work and school but I wanted to put something out
     there. It's not much but enjoy. Sorry about being inconsistent.
     Thanks to everyone who boosted my confidence after the previous
     chapter. I might not have continued if it hadn't been for your
     comments.
     I also decided to start adding chapter titles because... I don't know
     why.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
The drive back to the other side of town was doused in a unique silence. The
kind where two people suddenly know too much rather than too little. It wasn’t
exactly uncomfortable, at least not in Levi’s case. Being used to silence, his
brain knew how to deal with it. And so he spent the ride lost in thought,
albeit mostly about the single person sitting quietly next to him, in the
passenger seat, with his head against the glass of the window and a thumbnail
between his teeth, watching cars go buy and seemingly unaffected by the
atmosphere, if it weren’t for the odd expression on his face.
One thing Levi had noticed about Eren was that he always looked… intense
somehow. It was his eyes. As captivating as they were (and they absolutely were
and Levi was not about to deny it), they housed a constant fire that even
managed to catch Levi off guard, occasionally. He might have been able to obey
his better judgment and keep his tongue inside his own face had it not been for
those eyes.
He cringed inwardly, and suddenly even he couldn’t ignore how heavy that
silence had become, and so he broke it.
“Could you not do that?”
“Hm?” Eren picked his head up from against the window and whirled around to
glance at Levi, who kept his face as still and as stony as he could manage.
“Stop that.” He continued. It referred to the nail Eren was chewing on, and he
seemed to understand as his hand drifted down to his lap and rested in its
twin.
“Habit.” Eren muttered.
“It’s gross.” Levi replied, and then, “I just kissed you.”
Eren smiled, which was something Levi had not been expecting considering the
face he was making just seconds before. “Does that mean you want to kiss me
again?”
Levi chewed the inside of his lip. He didn’t let himself be too affected by
that comment and chose instead to just ignore it, and as they drove between the
wall, his eye caught some fluorescent green paint sticking out like a sore
thumb on a wall that was already ugly as sin, on one side anyway. He scoffed,
almost inaudibly, tightening his hands around the steering wheel.
For a moment, Eren looked at him as if he’d almost forgotten that he had even
asked a question before he nodded somewhat stiffly. “You can stop here. If you
want.” It was Levi’s turn to nod and he slowed to a stop by the nearest curb.
He wasn’t in the mood to argue with Eren and the rain had stopped a while ago.
Eren flung the door open as Levi stopped and the old metal squealed its
protest, but he stalled just outside of the automobile and stared down at Levi,
who was glaring at him with his hands still flexing around the steering wheel.
“What?”
“I know you didn’t mean it.” Eren was leaning against the car door, eyebrow
raised, and looking way too fucking triumphant.
“You don’t know shit. I never should have kissed you, you’re a brat.”
Eren laughed. The door groaned as it bared his weight.
Levi could have just left.
“I meant what I said. It wasn’t a good idea,” he said flatly, “We’re leaving it
at that.”
Eren straightened up with awkward, somewhat jerky movements and Levi watched
his expression shift completely for a fourth time. “That’s what you were gonna
say?”
“Yeah,” Levi said flatly. His foot shifted on the brake pedal. “Until you stuck
your tongue in my mouth and interrupted me.” And then, “What did you think I
meant?”
Eren let his eyes roll around as if he were suddenly afraid to look at him but
he shrugged and went “That it wasn’t going to lead to anything”
Levi propped his elbow on the tiny shelf underneath the window and rested his
head on his hand as he shot Eren a sideways glance. “What difference does it
make?”
Eren shrugged again. “Is it cuz I’m still a minor?”
“Well, that certainly isn’t helping your cause.” Drug dealer or not, Levi
wasn’t a fucking creep. Although he couldn’t say he gave much of a shit about
laws or some kind of moral high ground. He was just done. Done with this
conversation and done with thinking about the decisions he had just made that
might have left him with a laundry list of responsibilities he was not about to
be held accountable for.
But then again, he could have just driven away, nothing was keeping him there,
and still he stayed.
“I like you.”
The confession wasn’t exactly a fucking revelation but Levi still felt it catch
him off guard. He let it hang heavily in the air for what was probably too long
before he decided what to do next.
He figured he’d give Eren respect enough to acknowledge him. He also didn’t
feel like it was right to stay sitting in his car. After all, Eren was brave
enough to confess to someone who was acting as if kissing him had been the
biggest regret of their life.
Or maybe he was smarter than Levi was giving him credit for.
Eren watched as Levi finally threw the vehicle into park, unbuckled his
seatbelt rather unceremoniously and stepped out to face him, making sure to
keep the hunk of metal between them. Levi didn’t really know how to respond so
he just drew a long, overly-dramatic breath and gnawed at his lower lip. But
his face softened marginally. Maybe it did. Levi was never a good judge of
that. Eren was blushing, obviously, but he wasn’t doing any of the things Levi
might have expected from him at a time like this. Fidgeting, saying more stupid
shit to try and defuse the uncomfortable atmosphere… and failing. Things like
that. He was still staring at Levi quietly, his face calm or simply impassive.
Then finally, “You don’t have to say anything.”
Levi did anyway. Had to because he pitied Eren, but also envied him, and even
though he didn’t want to acknowledge the flutter his heart gave when Eren said
what he said, it was depressing, not because he was so affected by it, but
because there was nothing he could do about any of it other than to push Eren
away.
“I will hurt you, Eren.” Levi almost felt his face burn with ridiculousness as
he said it, but it seemed like the most honest reply.
Eren gave one, dry, almost-laugh, and there was something about that that
rubbed Levi the wrong way and he glared, clenching his teeth and he almost got
back in his car and drove off then and there but he didn’t because he figured
Eren was going to say something else. And he did.
“You really do just see me as a kid, don’t you?”
While it was probably meant as a rhetorical question, Levi didn’t feel right
leaving it at that. He really did not want this to end badly although, at this
point, any ending to this conversation would have been easier that continuing
it. “You aren’t just a kid. But you are a kid. You think you know what you
want, but you have no idea.” He could see Eren getting angry with him but he
didn’t care. He wanted him to know that this, whatever it was, was bad for the
both of them. “There are things you don’t understand but please understand that
it is in your best interest not to get involved with me. I made a mistake
today. I’m sorry.”
Another bout of painful silence as the sun slicing through the last of the
rainclouds reflected harshly off the roof of Levi’s car. Eren turned his face
away from it.
“You don’t know anything.”
Levi shook his head. Asked himself why he even bothered telling Eren any of
that, or anything he’d told him back at the apartment, like it even mattered.
And he was pissed when he said that, yeah. But he was also confused and feeling
a little too vulnerable. As if he was the one who’d just confessed something.
“I didn’t ask you to confess you’re little crush to me.”
Eren turned back to him. “I didn’t say it for your sake. And I’m not taking it
back. It’s not up for you to decide what’s in my best interest.” He was angry,
surprisingly so and Levi let him be. He was upset because there were things
that Levi also did not understand, and he got that it was frustrating. Eren
softened then but whatever cocktail of emotions he was currently feeling was
still written all over his face. “Obviously I can’t keep you in my life if you
don’t want to be.” He paused. “But whatever’s keeping you here now. Whatever
kept you outside of the bookstore. Don’t brush that off for my sake.”
Levi swallowed. It was a sort of unsettling experience watching someone with
such a loose grasp on their emotions. Even Hanji was pretty predictably
energetic. Eren seemed to always dance the line somewhere between spitfire and
dumbstruck imbecile.
He heard the faint sound of yelling in the distance just as Eren shut the
passenger door, saying, “I should get going.”
Levi was grateful for Eren ending things rather abruptly seeing as he didn’t
really have anything else to say after that and figured even if he did, it
would have been poor form. So he let Eren turn and walk toward the concrete
eyesore without looking back. That is, until Levi called to him one last time,
perhaps against his better judgment.
“Eren.” Eren stopped abruptly and turned to look over his shoulder, perhaps
somewhat annoyed that his dramatic exit had been spoiled. It almost made Levi
laugh. “I’ll text you,” he said instead.
Eren let the words sink in for all of a second before he smiled and hollered,
“Good!” before waving and turned away again and Levi slid back into his car and
pulled away from the curb without watching him leave.
Eren was, without a doubt, smarter than Levi gave him credit for.
Chapter End Notes
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