Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11474481.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Muse_(Band)
  Relationship:
      Matt_Bellamy/Dom_Howard, Matt_Bellamy/Gaia_Polloni
  Character:
      Matt_Bellamy, Dom_Howard, Chris_Wolstenholme, Tom_Kirk, Gaia_Polloni, OC
      -_Character, Morgan_Nicholls, Sari_Bellamy
  Additional Tags:
      Abuse, Past_Rape/Non-con, Matt_has_a_daughter, Single_Father, Angst,
      Pedophilia
  Series:
      Part 1 of Don't_You_Worry,_Child
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-07-11 Completed: 2017-09-03 Chapters: 31/31 Words: 35624
****** Overcoming ******
by elladifi
Summary
     Matthew was kept in his apartment for nine years. His daughter never
     ventured outside. That is, until they escaped, and Matthew realizes
     that he needs to readjust.
Notes
     This is very, very graphic! You have been warned. However, this and
     the following chapter will most likely be the worse of it.
***** Prologue 0.1: In Which We See Matthew's Routine *****
She was his treasure.
She meant the world to him, with her big blue eyes and long dark hair. Her thin
face and her big hands, her skinny arms and how quickly she learned. She was
just like him in every way. Of course he loved her, how couldn’t he? She was
perfect to him. She was him. How he wished he could give her the earth, give
her the whole universe from his hands, and watch her face shimmer in its glow.
How he wished he could give her everything she ever wanted and more, all at
once in a big box wrapped in red and purple, her favorite colors, on Christmas
day. He loved seeing her face change whenever she saw him, he loved seeing her
be happy whenever there was a moment for her to be.
He adored her.
And he hated that he could give nothing to her.
Each day, they woke up together, ate together, and then suffered together. He
sacrificed everything he could for her.
In her five years of living, Sari had experienced nothing but torture. And her
father couldn’t stop it.
Matthew Bellamy was twenty-two. He wanted out of his household.
The two lived together in a small flat in north London. The building had a
quiet and unassuming air to it, one of many in a row on their street. From the
outside, it could’ve been anyone’s home, from a chef to a druggie to a prize-
winning novelist.
But on the inside, something was clearly off. Every belonging shone as if it
had been recently polished, and the entire home constantly smelled of ammonia
and bleach. Every shelf was perfectly organized, each nook and crevice dusted
constantly. Not a single mark could be found in the home. Completely spotless.
It was also mostly belongingless. Set aside a few knick-knacks on the TV table
or a bowl of fruit on the kitchen counter, the home seemed brand new and hardly
lived in. Every room lacked personality, each one as bland as the next.
Until you came to the master bedroom. While the rest of the house seemed almost
new, the bedroom was dark, musty, and smelled of stale sex. The walls were
stained and moldy, the bedsheets unchanged in months, stray clothes and water
bottles lining the floors. Objects of all sorts were strewn about the place,
making it almost impossible to navigate the dirty carpet floors. The curtains
were always drawn, and if there ever was light, it came from a single lamp on a
rusty nightstand. The entire room gave out a dark and suspicious feeling, and
anybody who walked in instantly wanted to get out.
This room belonged to Sari’s mother. Her name was Gaia.
Each day, the routine of Gaia, Matthew, and Sari started over again and again.
The three would be asleep in their beds, until Gaia’s 5:30 alarm rang
throughout the house. It served as Matthew’s signal to get up and start making
breakfast for his… girlfriend. Another one of his responsibilities concerned
feeding Sari before six, and then locking her in her room for the rest of the
day. Gaia didn’t like seeing Sari. It made her… aggressive.
Six o’clock, Gaia would wake up. She expected breakfast and a change of clothes
when she did. Matthew made sure that he didn’t pick the same outfit as the last
week on the same day, or else Gaia would get aggressive. If she was pleased
with him, she would completely ignore him as she put on her shoes and left for
work. But if she wasn’t, she….
Throughout the day, Matthew’s only job consisted of cleaning the house. He had
to scrub each and every area spotless, rubbing everything within an inch of its
life. He had to put away the dishes, do Gaia’s laundry, and clean her shoes
every day. If he finished early with his task, he got to venture into Sari’s
room and tell her a story. Because Matthew loved Sari more than he loved
himself, he’d risk going in at least once a day. He would play with her, brush
the knots out of her hair, make her the best snacks he could with what was in
the cupboard, and give her countless hugs, telling her that they would leave
soon and they would go to a better place. She always listened, such an angelic
child, and smiled even as Matthew locked her back in her room to prepare for
Gaia coming back.
Before she returned, Matthew had to have her dinner ready and hot. As she
walked in the door, he took off her shoes, placing them neatly on a rack. He
asked how her day was, took her jacket, listened to the response, and replied
adequate feedback. They ate together, and he made sure to always finish just
before she did so he could clear her plates as she finished. Afterwards, she
took a shower.
Then the abuse started. After dinner, she had the freedom to do whatever she
wished. Every single day, Matthew hated the waiting after dinner. Because he
knew what came after it. He could sit down on the sofa and be dragged up off it
by his ear, shoved in a corner and have his head bashed into it. He could take
a step near Sari’s room and feel the slice of a blade on the back of his knee.
He could stop cleaning for a split second and have his face shoved into a
bucket of water. Hell on earth would be the only way to describe it.
Just before she went to sleep, Gaia got drunk. Noticeably drunk. She took
Matthew into her room and stripped him naked, made him stand next to the door.
Then she turned him around, pressed his head into the door, made him stand with
his feet spread and his back arched. She whipped him, once for each time he
made a mistake. For messing up at all. For talking to Sari. For forgetting a
single detail. He would shake uncontrollably, his hands twitching with tremors,
but after nine years of abuse, the tears didn’t come anymore. He only felt
numbness.
She’d take him back to her bed. Lay him down on his back, tying his wrists to
the bedpost. She’d experiment. Sometimes, she would make him fuck her
missionary, slapping him if he stopped or stuttered. Sometimes she’d peg him,
whipping him if he made a single sound or move against her. Sometimes it was a
game of how many objects she could fit inside of him before he cried, or a game
of how far she could wedge a sharp object into him before he bled. It was
torture.
The next day it would repeat. Sari would always ask Matthew how he was, if he
was okay. He would always say everything was fine, yes, he was okay.
He loved his little girl with all his heart. He wanted to give her the world.
The most he could give her were stories of hope.
***** Prologue 0.2: In Which Matthew and Sari Take a Risk *****
Chapter Summary
     Will it work?
Chapter Notes
     Again, very, VERY graphic. You've been warned.
It seemed as if it would be another ordinary day for Matthew. He had woken up,
fed Sari, fed Gaia, and started cleaning. But right as he started making
dinner, Gaia was back.
Matthew only realized this through the sudden slamming open of his front door,
which caused him to jump and turn. In stumbled Gaia, drunk off her feet,
speaking loudly to herself.
“Good afternoon, m-ma’am,” Matthew stuttered, rushing over to take off her
shoes. “You’ve come home early, I apologize for not having dinner ready. It’s
almost finished, if you’re willing to wait a second longer.”
Instead of ignoring him, she hoisted him up from his position on the floor,
snatching him by the collar. She forced their eyes to meet, and he noticed her
pupils were dilated almost as much as they could be.
She was high.
“Strip.” Her voice was a low growl, the single word slurred.
He obeyed, instantly removing all his clothing. He stood there, before her,
shivering. “What would you like me to do now, ma’am?” he asked softly.
“Get in the fucking bedroom.” Her heavy Italian accent slurred, making it
difficult to understand from the alcohol, but he grasped the meaning of the
sentence, obeying like a dog on a leash. “Turn your back to me,” she muttered,
rummaging through a drawer. He heard the sound of metal, the sound of leather,
the sound of rope. Tonight, everything seemed as if it would be a lot worse.
Sari hadn’t even eaten….
He hadn’t expected the sting of the whip on his back, hadn’t expected the crack
of it colliding with his skin, and it caused him to flinch. Bad mistake. “Stand
still!” she screamed, hitting him again, again, again. He stood, and took the
punishment.
“Get on the bed,” she ordered, and he did so, the fresh wounds on his back
stinging against the cold and rough sheets. She fastened his hands to the top
of the bed, but the rope wrapped around his wrists so tightly that he couldn’t
feel his hands.
“Ma’am,” he dared to speak. “My han—”
“I know bloody well!” she yelled at him, slapping him across the face. She took
his legs and tied them to the opposite ends of the bed, so he stretched out
completely. “I decided today, Matthew,” she said, pulling a knife off the
nightstand, “that I will become an artist. So I stretch you out like my
canvas.”
She tightened the ropes, and Matthew’s legs felt as if they would pop out of
his sockets. He groaned loudly at the pain, thrashing his head from side to
side. “Please….” he begged weakly. “No.”
She just laughed, taking her knife in hand and dragging it across the center of
his chest, from one nipple to another. “Darling, you haven’t put up so much
resistance in a long time. It’s honestly pathetic. You are just a canvas for
me.” With that, she took off her pants and started to straddle Matthew, which
hurt him even more by putting more pressure on his legs. He cried out, trying
to contract but instead bucking up into her. With every noise he made, another
line appeared on his stomach. It stung. He cried. Another line.
Matthew could hardly breathe. Between the pain of his legs being stretched, the
knife in his stomach, and the dull pleasure of Gaia around him, his senses
became utterly overwhelmed.
The sickening sound of bone popping out of bone echoed throughout the room. He
bucked up, whimpering, his eyes rolling to the back of his head with the amount
of pain, but this time, Gaia slipped, the knife digging deep into his stomach
and wrapping around his side.
He screamed when she pulled it out and started again drawing lines on his
stomach.
An hour. It felt like a lifetime, but only an hour had passed. He had come
once, Gaia had pulled off with some snarky remark about Sari and unprotected
sex, before riding him again. His semen on his cuts burned like hell, a fresh
pain that he hadn’t experienced in some years.
She never came. After an hour, she passed out, the knife falling from her hands
as she toppled off the bed. Matthew laid there for a second, crying, the pain
unbearable. But he realized soon after that she was out cold. A chance. He had
to take it.
It took another hour for him to wriggle out of his binds. His wrists were
cracked and bloody, his ankles in a similar state. Eventually, he freed
himself, and, after pulling on some boxers and an undershirt, crawled to Sari’s
room. The pain in his left leg was almost unbearable, and it was starting to go
completely immobile. With every movement, a fresh wave of electric pain shot up
from his hip and to his head, making him cry out involuntarily. Without a
second thought, he twisted open the lock, which instantly woke her up. “Daddy?”
she whispered at the sight of Matthew laying on the ground. “Mummy’s going to
get mad, go away!”
“Sari,” he coughed, a lump of blood splattering on the floor. “Pack your
things. Take what you need. We’re leaving. Now.”
She didn’t need to be told twice, and, grabbing her blanket, she helped a
heavily limping Matthew up. “I got you, Daddy,” she whispered, letting him lean
on her. Matthew hobbled to the front door, unable to move his left leg,
sneaking Gaia’s key out of her purse. Quietly, he unlocked it, and they snuck
out into the open air.
After he closed the door, he knew exactly where he needed to go. Chris’s.
Although the directions were somewhat foggy in his mind, he knew still. “Sari,
come on,” he urged her, but her legs stood frozen.
This was her first time going outside.
“Daddy…” she whispered. “The air is so… cool. It’s so cool. I can… I can feel
the wind! The wind you always told me about, Daddy, it’s real! There’s… birds,
and trees, too. There are trees, Daddy!”
“Yes, darling,” Matthew replied, tugging at her. “We can look at the trees as
much as we want later. But we have to go now.”
She followed and led him, going exactly where he told her to. They landed at
another ordinary looking door.
Matt sent out a collective prayer to every deity that Chris still lived there,
and he knocked.
Again.
Again.
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” the reply came, and Matthew toppled to the ground, a
sobbing heap. He was there. Hope, true hope, for the first time in over nine
years, flowed through his veins, and he realized that he almost controlled his
own life again. They were going to be free.
The door opened, and Matthew looked up to see his only friend’s face glowing in
artificial light. It took him a second, before he whispered, “Matt?”
“Ch…” he started, before coughing again. This time, a lump of blood came up
with it, splattering all on his face and already bloodstained shirt.
“Jesus, Matt,” Chris stuttered. “What the fuck happened to you? I haven’t seen
you in years!” he hoisted Matthew up by his armpits, looking at Sari. “Who’s
this?”
“That’s S-Sari,” Matthew managed. “Sh… She’s my daughter.”
“What?!” Chris shouted, pulling the two into his home. He laid Matthew onto a
couch near the door, easing a pillow under his head. “What the fuck?!” he said
again, this time to himself, taking in the sight of the man before him.
“Daddy is scared,” Sari whispered, and Matthew held a hand out to her, which
she took.
“Scared of what, sweetie?” Chris asked her gently, holding Matthew’s face in
his hands and looking into his eyes, trying to spot signs of a concussion.
“You don’t… have to whisper a-anymore, Sari,” Matthew stuttered. “M-Mummy’s
gone.”
Chris’s eyes, previously only searching for injury, shifted into focus. “Wh…”
he started, looking at the little girl. “Sari? Who is your Mummy?”
“A bad lady,” Sari whispered, her voice hoarse with strain.
“Did your Mummy do this to Matt?”
Sari nodded.
“Fuck’s sake, Matt, we have to get you to a hospital,” Chris exclaimed. “I’m
taking off your shirt.”
As soon as Chris touched the hem, Matthew screamed as loud as he could. His
eyes squeezed shut, adrenaline kicking through his system. His hands clawed at
Chris’, trying to get them away from his shirt. It didn’t work, as the larger
man overpowered him, and yanked the clothing off.
He almost vomited at the sight of Matthew, his destroyed skin, the blood and
semen caked atop layers of both scars and fresh cuts. “Oh my god,” he kept
whispering to himself. “Oh my god, oh my god….”
“Don’t take me to the hospital,” Matthew blurted out. “Please, whatever you do,
don’t make me go. They’ll take Sari. Don’t take Sari away from me. Please.”
“Bloody hell, Matt, I’ve got to take you there,” Chris exclaimed, picking Sari
up. “I’ll wake up Kelly. She can watch your daughter, she’ll be fine. We have
to go.”
“Sari!” Matthew screamed as Chris led her out of the room. He tried to get up,
but his legs only flailed, not doing anything to help him. His left foot had
gone entirely numb with the pain. “Come back, Sari, please don’t leave! You
can’t take her away! Sari!”
“Daddy!” Sari called back, but Chris forced her away.
“We need to go. I’ve called an ambulance.” The taller man came back with a
washcloth in his hand, and he gently touched it to Matthew’s skin. Fresh pain
exploded through the smaller man’s veins, and he let out a defeated whimper as
Chris started to clean the liquids from his skin. “I just want to get you in a
decent state,” he explained. “When we get there, we can get you proper
treatment, whatever you need. And we’ll report her.”
“No!” Matthew choked out through a sob. “You can’t… you can’t report her. You
can’t. She has people, and th-they’ll come for us….”
“Fuck,” Chris breathed on an exhale. When the washcloth drifted down to the
area right above Matthew’s boxers, the younger man stopped struggling and went
still. “Matt?” Chris asked, concerned. He wasn’t sure why suddenly Matthew had
stopped moving, unless… something bad had happened.
Chris said quietly, “I’m going to take your boxers off. I need to check if
you’re hurt.”
Matthew said nothing.
Chris did as he said he would, taking off Matthew’s boxers. More dried blood
coated the area between his legs, this time seeming as if it went layers thick
and had been there for days. Chris cautiously brought the washcloth to the
inside of his friend’s thigh, touching the towel to the blood.
Matthew’s head turned to the side, his eyes closing.
Penny dropped.
“Matthew?” Chris’s voice was hushed. “Did she rape you?”
He didn’t say anything.
Chris was interrupted from asking any more questions by the sound of a knocking
at his door. “EMT!” a voice called as Chris pulled Matthew’s boxers back up.
“It’s open, come in!” Chris yelled towards the door. They barged into the
house, Matthew getting startled back to reality. “Matt, don’t worry, don’t
worry, I’ll tell them to give you a rape kit but not to report anything. You’re
gonna be okay.”
“What’s wrong?” the EMT asked, freezing when he saw the shivering man lying on
the sofa. “Pick him up,” his voice changed, commanding Chris. “We’ll bring him
straight to A&E.”
Matthew cried as Chris brought him outside. “It’s gonna be okay, Matt, it’s
gonna be okay. Don’t worry.”
“S-Sari,” he muttered, on the verge of consciousness. “What about Sari?”
“Sari is with Kelly, she’s okay. You gotta stay with me, Matt.” The smaller
man’s eyelids started dropping, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.
“Matt! Wake up!”
“Take care of her,” he muttered.
Matthew passed out.
***** Prologue 0.3: In Which Matthew Wakes Up *****
Chapter Summary
     The worst is behind us.
Matthew awoke in a hospital bed. His body below his neck was numb, cold,
immobile. His head felt like a cloud, and not in a good way. He felt like
vomiting, his stomach churning.
“I’m surprised you didn’t have any permanent injuries,” a voice said, and he
turned to look at the source. “Doctor Tang.” A woman with the standard doctor’s
coat stood right before him, smiling gently. “Your friend here did a great
thing, you know. He told me you didn’t want to come. Why’s that?”
“I…” Matthew coughed, his voice raspy. “I didn’t want to… erm….”
“Matthew,” she said softly, sitting on the bed next to him. “There’s nothing to
be ashamed of. There’s nothing you could’ve done. It’s okay.”
Tears started to form in Matthew’s eyes. “I… Doctor, are you going to report
this? I don’t want there to be an investigation.”
“No, of course not. I don’t have to tell at all, it’s law, in fact.”
“It happened over n-nine years. She has so much blackmail over me. I couldn’t
do anything. I h-haven’t left my house in seven years, my d-daughter had never
been outside until we ran away. I don’t know what to do. I can’t report her,
because she’d g-get off. But I can’t go back home, either. Doctor, I… oh, I
have no idea what to do, I don’t know, I don’t know….” Matt broke down, sobbing
into his stiff hands.
Her hand rubbed circles on his back. “It may be tough now, Matthew, but you
should report it eventually. I’ve created a file for you, and kept all of your
clothes, samples from your blood, analyses of your injuries, and any other
incriminating evidence. One piece of evidence that the court would never ignore
was the fact that there was a woman’s vaginal fluid found on your penis, and it
seemed to have gotten there while the injuries on your chest were obtained.
It’s clear that something out of your control happened. Of course, all I can do
is give you a copy of this information and urge you to report it to the police,
but you should do what you feel is fit.”
Matthew shrugged weakly. “How bad am I?” he asked softly.
“Thankfully, nothing permanent will affect you, aside from the scars on your
chest. There are also a few bruises on your ribs, one being cracked, but that
will heal in time. The marks on your back will never completely disappear,
either. You had four anal fissures, suggesting that a large object or objects
had been inserted into your rectum—which I have included in my report for your
future use—but we had an emergency operation that sealed these. They will be
fully healed within eight weeks. Your left hip was dislocated, but we have
performed a reduction and it is now in its proper place. This can take two or
three months to fully heal for a young and healthy male such as yourself. There
are six temporary stitches in your side, but you do not have to come back and
have them removed because they will dissolve themselves. Overall, Matthew, your
immune system appears to be much stronger than the average, which accounts to
your quick estimated recovery times. You seem like a fighter.”
Matthew sighed. “There really wasn’t any other way for me to live,” he said to
himself. “Thank you, though. Can I… Can I see Chris?”
Doctor Tang looked around a curtain that separated the hospital room into two
sides. “Yes,” she replied slowly, motioning with her hand on the other side of
the curtain. “He’s coming now. Thank you for understanding my side of your
case, Matthew. I’m always willing to talk.”
She left, and in her place appeared Chris. At the sight of his best friend, his
only friend, the man who saved his life, he broke down into a fresh round of
tears. “Hey,” Chris said softly, approaching Matthew. “Hey, Matt, it’s okay,
she’s gone. Don’t worry, you’re okay. Don’t worry.” He wrapped Matthew’s
shoulders in a hug, and the smaller man clutched onto his jacket, crying into
him.
"You..." Matthew stuttered, "you d-don't know what she did, Chris. I can't... I
can't think about it. It was horrible, it was the worst nine y-years of my
life, I hadn't left the flat, I hadn't g-gone outside, I... Chris...."
"You don't have to," Chris assured him. "You don't have to think about any of
it. I'm here if you need to, at any other time, but right now you just need to
rest. Focus on healing, and you'll be fine. I promise. You're safe."
“Sari, wh-where is Sari?” Matthew managed to choke out through his tears.
“Hold on,” Chris said quietly, pulling himself from Matthew. Confusion graced
his mind as to why Chris left, since he had assumed that Sari was still with
Chris's wife, when the taller man returned a second later, Sari’s hand in his
own.
“Daddy!” Sari exclaimed at the sight of Matthew. “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy….” she
kept repeating as she ran up to him and jumped onto his bed, holding him in a
gentle but tight embrace. “You’re back!”
“Sari, darling,” Matthew cried, holding the back of her head in his hand,
pressing her closer to him. “Daddy’s here. Daddy’s here. You’re gonna be okay
now. We’re free.”
Sari began to cry, and her tears soaked into the skin on Matthew’s neck.
“Daddy, oh, Daddy, I love you so much. You’re safe now, Daddy.”
The words Matthew had just given to Sari were handed back to him, and he sobbed
with relief. “Darling,” he whispered to her. “It’s going to get so much better
for you than you’ve ever experienced. You’re going to love what this world has
for you. I’m going to treat you so well, Sari, you deserve it. You deserve the
whole world, baby, and I’m so proud of you for being so happy for so long. I
love you, Sari. I’m going to b-be an actual father to you now. I can do
anything now, for you.”
They continued to whisper reassurances to each other, with Chris almost brought
to tears by the sight. Those two had been through so much, and they still cared
about each other as much as humans possibly could. He supposed that no matter
the circumstances, Matthew had always been a kind person, always caring about
others more than he cared about himself.
“Matt,” he said quietly, interrupting them. “Come back to my house. You’re
cleared to leave, I signed for you. You can stay with me as long as you need
to. Sari, too.”
The smaller man nodded, holding Sari in his arms. “Thank you, Chris. Honestly.
I don’t know who else to turn to, you’re just… you’re an angel.”
Chris shrugged. “It’s the least I could do. Besides, you would do the same for
me, I’m sure.”
Matthew nodded. Chris handed him a pair of crutches, and, after a fair bit of
shifting and help from Sari, he could walk.
As they left through the doors, Sari gasped yet again at the sight of the trees
on the road and the sound of birds in the air. “Daddy,” she whispered. “They’re
so pretty. I love them.”
“I know, darling,” Matthew replied, leaning down to kiss her head. “Do you want
to look?”
“Yes!” she cried out, laughing as she ran towards a tree. She skipped around
it, her long, unruly hair bouncing behind her. “It’s so green, it’s so pretty!”
Passersby seemed confused by her excited reaction to a simple, ordinary tree,
but Matthew and Chris were beaming at her. Matthew could even feel himself
start to tear up, his eyes watering at the thought of his daughter finally
getting to be a kid. No longer did she have to live in fear, fear that she
didn’t deserve, fear that was there because of him, fear that would nonetheless
probably affect her for the rest of her life. For now, though, she was a child,
and she was free.
He was so proud of her.
***** Chapter 1.1: In Which Matthew is Concerned *****
Chapter Summary
     The two attempt to readjust. Matthew attempts to help.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Matthew had asked for permission to accompany Sari on her first day of school.
It was an odd request, her principal thought, as she was already five years
old, and seemed reasonably smart. He also thought that Matthew seemed much too
young to be her father, so at first he denied him.
“How old are you, son?” the principal had asked cautiously during their
meeting. They were sat across from each other, between them a large wooden desk
filled with paperwork and numerous laptops. The principal, named Dr. Nicholls,
thought that Matthew couldn’t have been older than seventeen or eighteen, not
nearly old enough to have his own child. Perhaps the two were siblings, or
adopted.
“Twenty-two, sir,” Matthew replied cautiously. “I have a license, if you need
to see it.”
“May I?” Dr. Nicholls asked. That would put him at seventeen as a father, which
seemed highly unlikely. But his (valid) driver’s license proved that he was in
fact that young, and that he was related to the small girl sitting on the chair
next to him. “Okay, Mr. Bellamy, why do you wish to accompany Sari to school?”
The scrawny man shifted in his seat. “Erm… Sari gets easily unsettled. Loud
noises, thunder, shouting, all of that, but there are some rather specific
things that can also make her… upset.”
“Such as?” the principal pushed.
“Ah… Lights dimming, the sound of keys… sudden silence, the smell of bleach.
Things of that nature. Sharp objects and blood, as well.” With each word,
Matthew himself seemed to get more uncomfortable.
The principal still didn’t understand. “Why is this a reason for you to
accompany her?”
Matthew shifted, and then whispered to his daughter. She nodded, and left the
room, closing the door lightly behind her. The man before Dr. Nicholls took a
deep breath, speaking his next words very slowly. “Sari lived in a household
where… domestic violence was present. N-None of it was aimed towards her,
despite her being threatened a few times, but… certain mannerisms that remind
her of her mother cause her to shake and cry, which has led to hyperventilation
at one point. I’d feel, y’know, safer, if I could attend her school for the
first day to help her, erm, get accommodated with other kids.”
“I don’t understand,” Dr. Nicholls thought aloud. “Did her mother abuse her?”
“No, she, erm… she abused me.”
An uncomfortable silence fell upon the room. “Really?”
“Yes.” Matthew seemed firm.
Suddenly the principal’s eyes widened. “So that’s why….” he said to himself.
Quickly, he shook his head. “What did you mean about her getting accustomed to
other kids? Surely she was able to meet with relatives, family, something, at
least.”
Again, Matthew shifted in his seat. His eyes shot down to the floor. “Must I
disclose this?” he asked quietly.
“It would be better if I knew her circumstances, so I could provide her with
the best care.”
A short silence. “Sari… she was never allowed to leave her room for the first
five years of her life. She had never seen another child before last week. We
only… escaped, erm, three weeks ago. I’ve asked her numerous times if, y’know,
she was ready to suddenly be in an environment where there were a lot of
people, and she always said yes. I’m concerned for her that she might get
overwhelmed, or upset, by common occurrences to everyone else.”
The principal leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. “Mr. Bellamy, I have
no right to refuse your child, but I strongly recommend against her attending
this school. I feel as if she will get overwhelmed very easily. Perhaps I could
suggest some alternatives, other schools that cater specifically to special
needs children—”
“No!” Matthew shouted suddenly. He took a shaky breath. “Sari doesn’t have a
disorder or a disability. She’s a smart kid. There’s no reason for her to be
forced to attend a school that isn’t right for her.”
“Sir, the school is for children with special needs.”
“I don’t care,” Matthew repeated, growing angry. “She isn’t special needs.
She’s a normal kid. It isn’t her fault what happened. She should be able to
interact with regular kids so that she can see what is regular. She’s so
impressionable, experiencing so many new things, and if she thinks that the
entire world is slow, that the entire world will constantly cater to her and
accommodate her needs, then she’s going to act slow and helpless. I just want
to be there for her on the first day in case it is too overwhelming. I’m not
sending her to anywhere else but here. All I am asking is permission to sit in
her class with her for one day and one day only.”
Another sigh escaped the principal’s lips. “If your child is a victim of
assault, she needs extra care that we can’t provide. If you decide not to send
her off to a special needs school, I don’t think I will be able to qualify you
as a truly responsible paren—”
“That isn’t it!” Matthew growled. He was losing control, becoming aggressive at
Dr. Nicholls’ lack of understanding. “She’s just been in isolation! Nothing
happened to her! I just want her to be able to go to a normal school for normal
kids, because that’s what she is! If anyone isn’t normal, it’s me! She doesn’t
deserve to get punished for mistakes I’ve made! There’s… there’s nothing wrong
with her. She’s a normal kid. The only not normal thing about her are the
circumstances of her conceiving. That’s it. She never got raped. When we
finally left, I brought up the idea of adoption. I’ve told her that if she felt
like I brought back too many poor memories, that she could live with another
family, and she cried for hours. Don’t you dare even think of taking her away
from me. She is my life.”
“Okay, okay,” the principal said quietly. “Fine. I’ll grant you permission to
accompany her on the first day only. If there are any major incidents, though,
that we can’t help her with, I’m going to recommend her for a private, more
focused school.”
Matthew nodded lightly, thanking the taller man. As he exited the door, Sari
latched onto his arm, giggling. “Daddy, I missed you!” she said, holding onto
his hand as they left the building.
“Sari, love, I was only gone for a minute,” he laughed, swinging their hands
back and forth.
“I kno-o-o-ow,” she dragged out the vowel, “but I still missed you. Are you
gonna come with me to school tomorrow?”
Matthew gave her a nod and a smile, and her own grin grew even more.
“Yay!” She bounced wildly, ecstatic by the revelation. “I’m so excited! Will
the other kids bring their daddies, too?”
“No, darling. I’m most likely going to be the only one there.” Matthew’s voice
was quiet as he replied to her innocent question. It was then that he realized
how truly ignorant she was about the rest of the world. Of course she was
attached to him. He had been one of only two people she had seen in her entire
life, and the other hardly talked to her. But Matthew thought back to his
earlier days, when he first went into primary school and the last thing he
wanted was for his mother to be with him. He remembered every child he’d ever
known having the same situation. And yet, here was his own daughter, wanting
nothing more than to spend even more of her life with her father, despite
spending every moment of her life with him already.
He hoisted her up and placed her on his shoulders. She giggled madly. “Daddy,
what are you doing?” Her laughter was quickly silenced by her wonderment of the
view, though. While Matthew may not have been tall, sitting atop her father’s
shoulders allowed her a fantastically new view of the still fresh world. “Wow!”
she gasped, placing both hands atop Matthew’s mess of hair. “I’m so tall!”
“You’re the queen now, darling,” Matthew grinned, and she started to giggle
again.
“Come on, Daddy, let’s explore my kingdom!” she encouraged, lightly kicking his
collarbones with her heels to make him walk.
“Alright, alright, I’m going,” Matthew groaned in mock annoyance, heading
towards Chris’s home. The entire way there, Sari pointed out sights that she
thought were interesting and steered her father over to them. Most of them were
things that Matthew himself was also excited to see for the first time in
forever, like a flock of pigeons eating off the ground, or flowers on a late
blooming tree, or a candle flickering in the window of a shop. Fascination
graced every part of her face as she saw each of these occurrences, and every
time Matthew looked up at her he couldn’t help but smile.
Chapter End Notes
     All is well, for now.
***** Chapter 1.2: In Which Sari Has a Nightmare *****
Chapter Summary
     The past never truly leaves us.
The night of Sari’s first day of school came around quicker than Matthew
expected it to.
It had only been one weekend, but it felt like a few hours. When Matthew awoke
early that Monday, it was in a cold sweat. He feared so much for his daughter’s
safety at this new and highly populated space.
He turned on his side, the old guest mattress squeaking under the movement. The
glowing red light of the small alarm clock next to him read 4:39.
Time to make breakfast, his automatic first thought was. Time to wake up Sari
before her mother gets up.
It was only after he got out of the bed that he realized he was in Chris’s
home. That Gaia wouldn’t be there. That Sari would be getting ready to go to
school, instead of sitting in her room. The next few breaths he took were
shaky, and he figured that he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, so he rose
and began to get dressed.
Chris would be taking them to the school, so that they knew how to get there.
Afterwards, Chris’s oldest son, Alfie, would walk her each day. The boy had
almost jumped at the opportunity, completely understanding the circumstances
and reassuring Matthew repeatedly that he would take care of Sari, no matter
what it took.
As Matthew headed to the kitchen to get a glass of milk, he continued to think
about what he would be experiencing in a few hours. He had no idea how Sari
would react—would she be frightened by the noise and chaos of school? Would she
be filled with wonder?
The milk didn’t taste good running down his throat.
Slowly, he walked back to his bed. As he started to lay down, he noticed a lump
in the blanket. “Hello?” he asked quietly but firmly, kneeling to the side that
the lump was on. He took the blanket in his hand and pulled it down, only to
see Sari curled up on herself, shaking gently with silent sobs.
“Oh, Sari, baby, what’s wrong?” Matthew asked with an instant change of voice,
cupping the girl’s face with his hands. Fresh tear tracks stained her cheeks,
eyes still watery. “Darling, what happened?”
She let out a quiet sob, and shifted out of her ball to wrap herself around
Matthew. “Daddy…” she whimpered, crying into his neck.
“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay now,” Matthew soothed her, stroking her hair with
one hand and rubbing circles on her back with the other. “What happened,
darling?”
She sniffled, pulling back to look at him. “I had a bad dream about Mummy,” she
whispered, and he immediately pulled her so that their foreheads were touching.
“Baby, Mummy’s gone, okay? Look at me,” he assured her quietly. Blue met teary
blue as Matthew held his daughter. “She’s gone. We’ll never see her again, I
promise. Sari?”
“Yeah?” the girl tearfully answered.
“Daddy promises. You’ll never have to see Mummy again if you don’t want to,
okay?”
Sari nodded.
“Tell me, baby, what was your dream about?”
Fresh tears started to fall from her eyes. “Mummy… she was, erm… in the bedroom
with you after dinnertime. You were yelling really loud, and crying, too. I got
out, erm, got out of my room and went to go see if you were okay.” She started
to sob heavily at this point, her sniffles almost becoming wails.
“What happened then, love?” Matthew pressed.
“Mummy… before I opened the door, you yelled really loud, and… oh, Daddy, I
opened the door and you were d-dead! I was crying and crying and Mummy was
laughing and y-your head was off your body, oh, Daddy!” she sobbed, clutching
onto Matthew as tight as she could. “I woke up and came down here and you were
gone and I was so scared that Mummy took you!”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Matthew whispered, holding tighter onto Sari. “No, no,
sweetie, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that happened, darling, oh, I’m so sorry….”
He didn’t want his daughter to have to worry about death at five years old. She
was supposed to be happy—it was going to be her first real day out. Instead she
was worrying about her father dying. What kind of a father was he?
“Daddy,” she said quietly. “It’s not your fault, Daddy. I know you wouldn’t
leave me. Lots of things happened and you’re still here, right?”
Matthew nodded against her neck, holding her closer. “I’m always going to be
here for you, baby. I’m not going to leave you. Don’t you ever worry about me.”
Sari let go of him and laid down on the bed. “Daddy, we should go to bed. We
have to get up soon for school.”
Matthew laughed lightly, laying down next to her. He took her tiny body into
his arms—he was afraid to let her go in fear of her waking up with another
nightmare—and held her close, smiling into her hair. He hoped that by holding
her close, he could prevent any future hardships for her. “Of course, baby.
You’re gonna have so much fun. Goodnight. I love you.”
“I love you too, Daddy, with all my heart,” she whispered, and fell asleep
against him.
***** Chapter 1.3: In Which Sari Goes to School *****
Chapter Summary
     Sari is taken to school.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“Matt?”
“Hmm?” The dark haired man was dragged from his sleep by the sound of Chris’s
voice.
“You gotta get up. It’s almost time to go.”
Matt grunted in response, trying to move but unable to do so. He looked down at
his front to see Sari curled up, her back flush against his chest. He lifted a
hand that was draped over her stomach to stroke her cheek. Her eyelids
twitched, and her body shifted against his. “Sari, love, it’s time.”
Her arms reached above her head, her legs stretching in the same way.
“Already?” she whispered, her voice hoarse from sleep.
“Yes, darling, up you get,” Matthew muttered into her ear, separating himself
from her. “Come on, get dressed. I’ll get your lunch.”
She groaned sleepily, rolling over and crawling off the bed. “Okay, Daddy,” she
mumbled, rubbing her eyes as she headed to the metal rack in the corner of the
room. Chris had lent some of his daughter Ava’s old clothes to Sari, and she
had picked out an outfit last night to wear today. As she got dressed in the
corner, Matthew did as he promised, gathering the lunch he had prepared and
putting into a simple paper bag.
He had just stuck the bag into Sari’s backpack—or, rather, Ava’s old
backpack—when the little girl herself walked into the kitchen, dressed in
purple shorts and a turquoise hoodie. Her knee socks matched, one of the
greenish socks slipping down to her ankles. “Darling,” Matthew said with a
light laugh, “one of your socks is falling down.”
“Oh,” she said simply, bending over to fix it. As she did so, Matthew scooped
her up in his arms and hugged her tightly. “Daddy!” she exclaimed in anger. “I
gotta fix my sock!”
“I know, love,” Matthew replied gently, pulling it up for her. “There you go!”
Matthew’s grin was infectious, and soon Sari was smiling just as widely. “Now
you’re awake. You just needed a hug from Daddy!”
“Yeah,” Sari smiled, kissing Matthew’s cheek. As he started to set her down,
the sound of feet descending stairs could be heard. From the bottom of the
steps popped out Alfie, Ava, and Chris, ready to head out. “Let’s go!” Sari
announced, slipping on a pair of pink flats before opening the door.
Alfie quickly made his way towards Sari, gently taking her hand. “Sari, I’m
gonna be taking you to school everyday,” he told her, “and you’re gonna have to
hold my hand so you don’t get lost, okay? It gets very, very crowded.”
“Crowded….” Sari repeated, a far off look in her eyes. “Okay!” she replied
after a few seconds. “Will Daddy come with me to school every day, too? I wanna
hold Daddy’s hand.”
Matthew sighed, stepping next to Sari. Chris and Ava started to strike up a
small conversation behind them. “I told you before, remember?” Matthew said to
his daughter. “I’m only coming with you for the first day. I just want to make
sure that you feel safe there, before you start to go by yourself.”
“Awww…” Sari said slowly, dragging her feet just a tad more. Alfie laughed
gently, pulling her lightly along. “Well, alright…” she finally said, and
resumed her normal pace.
The ride there was long, as they had to walk, take two trains, and then walk
some more. But as they approached the huge building where Sari would go to
school, her demeanor changed instantly. “Wow,” she gasped at the school. “It’s
so big.”
“Keep holding my hand, Sari,” Alfie instructed, and she did so, although her
eyes were still hooked on the building. The boy led them all to the front
doors, where Chris said his goodbyes.
“See you guys back at home later?” he asked with a smile, and the group all
nodded.
With that, he departed, and Alfie led them into the building.
Sari instantly had the urge to cling onto Matthew. The sudden noise that
accompanied walking into the school felt overwhelming, and she wished at once
that she could be at home. Matthew noticed this, and took her other hand in his
own. “Just breathe, darling,” he told her through the noise, and her tiny hand
clenched onto his.
Alfie led Sari and Matthew to a classroom close to the entrance, one that had
butterfly cutouts on the door and a purple banner on the window that read,
“Welcome, students!” Ava quickly said goodbye to Sari, kissing her on the cheek
before heading off to her first class.
“This is your classroom,” Alfie told the remaining two. “You’ll come here every
day, Sari, and stay here the whole day. Wait in the room until I get you at the
end of the day, okay?”
“Okay,” Sari replied for the hundredth time that day. “Bye bye, Alfie.” The two
hugged, Matthew said a quick thank you, then Alfie too headed off.
Matthew took a look through the thin window on the door. Within was a standard
bright yellow classroom, with low circular tables and colored plastic chairs
scattered around. There were a few decorations on the walls, posters with the
alphabet and numbers, but there was plenty of open space, space that Matthew
assumed would be filled by the students’ projects.
“Come on, Daddy!” Sari’s voice halted Matthew’s thoughts, and so he hurriedly
opened the door.
For the second time that day, she seemed utterly amazed. A few children stopped
to look at the two of them in the doorway, and, while Matthew blushed heavily,
Sari couldn’t care. She was absolutely fascinated by the room, the colors, the
sheer warmth and friendliness of it all.
Matthew spotted movement from the corner of the room, and turned to see the man
who must’ve been the teacher standing from his desk. “May I help you?” he asked
in a gentle voice.
“Erm, yes,” Matthew stuttered, the teacher coming over to meet them at the
door. “I, er, this is Sari, my… daughter.”
“Ah,” the man smiled, crouching down in front of the girl. “Hello, Sari,” he
said lightly, giving her a smile. “I’m Mister Kirk. I’m gonna be your teacher
this year! How’s that sound?”
Sari backed behind Matthew’s leg, holding tightly onto his hand. “Erm…” she
said quietly, looking up at her father for help.
Matthew shot her an apologetic smile, and started to talk as Mr. Kirk got up
from his crouch. “Sari and I have some, er, extenuating circumstances that we
have discussed with the principal, and he’s decided it’s best that I sit in
with this class today, as a… precaution.”
“Oh, what for?” Mr. Kirk inquired, tilting his head slightly as he dipped his
hands into the pockets of the denim apron he wore.
Matthew’s eyes shifted as he leaned into Mr. Kirk’s ear. “Sari has gone through
some things that, erm… may make her uncomfortable around certain noises or
actions. I just wanted to, I mean, y’know, for the first day, make sure that
she’s okay.”
The entire time, Mr. Kirk nodded with understanding. “Of course,” he replied.
“I’ll get a chair for you, and a clipboard if you need one?” he asked, making
to go back to his desk.
“Ah, no, that won’t be important,” Matthew said, shaking his head. “If you’d
help get Sari settled, first, that’d be great, though.”
Again, Mr. Kirk kneeled down to the little girl. She shifted more behind
Matthew’s leg. “Sari, darling, it’s alright. Mr. Kirk is going to help you out
for the rest of the year, okay?” Matthew tried to usher Sari out from behind
his leg, but she wouldn’t budge. “What’s wrong, love?” her father asked when
she absolutely refused to move her feet or even let go of his hand.
She whispered something unintelligible, and Matthew had to get down to her
height to hear it, so she could whisper in his ear. “Mr. Kirk has a pen in his
ear,” she said quietly to her father.
“Oh,” Matthew whispered back, looking at the teacher, then realizing what she
meant. “Oh.”
Sari only nodded, stepping farther away from him.
“What’s wrong?” Mr. Kirk asked Matthew, and he told him. “Well, I mean, I
usually keep a pen there, so that I have one for easy access.” His next
statement was directed towards Sari. “Why does that make you upset, Sari?”
“Erm… Mummy used to wear a pen in her ear,” Sari whispered.
Mr. Kirk seemed confused, but nodded anyway. “Alright,” he smiled, taking the
pen from his ear and putting it in a pocket of his apron. “Let’s get you
settled!” He turned to Matthew. “You can sit near my desk, if you want.”
Matthew nodded and did so as Mr. Kirk proceeded to show the room to Sari.
“Don’t worry about remembering it all,” he added at the end. “You’ll be here a
lot, so it’ll come to you over time, alright?” When she nodded, he smiled down
at her and told her to pick any seat she wanted, then approaching Matthew.
“What happened to her mother?” he asked softly, the dull hum of the children
talking almost overtaking his words.
Matthew shifted uncomfortably. “She, erm, isn’t a part of Sari’s life anymore.”
“Oh,” Mr. Kirk said with understanding. “Divorce? Or, you’re a rather young
guy, was it just a separation?”
Another shift. “No, it’s, er, deeper than that. Sari was… she didn’t have a
good relationship with her mother. Well, neither of us did. I guess you could
call it a separation, but there were, erm, more… difficult circumstances.”
Mr. Kirk nodded, not pressing on the matter, as he could feel Matthew’s
discomfort. “Well, I’m going to get set up before the bell. You’re welcome to
sit at my desk, as I probably won’t be using it, and you can take notes if you
need them. Nice to meet you, Mr…?”
“Bellamy,” Matthew filled in, shaking Mr. Kirk’s hand.
With that, Matthew left him to it.
Chapter End Notes
     Short chapter, very little plot, I'm so sorry. Thanks for 100+ hits,
     it means a lot. Truly.
     May do a double upload and put up the final part of Chapter 1 today,
     not sure though. As of now, I've written up to Chapter 3.2, but I
     want to keep ahead of what I've uploaded in case I get writers block,
     so I can still provide you guys with stuff. Working on 2 smaller one-
     shots. Maybe I'll write some WolstenDom. Who knows?
***** Chapter 1.4: In Which Matthew Has a Talk *****
Chapter Summary
     The day is going well.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Matthew couldn’t be more pleased with how the day was going.
Mr. Kirk was an excellent teacher, and all the children were attentive and
seemed to respect him highly. Matthew was unsure if it was the fact that he was
in the room, but Mr. Kirk continually seemed impressed by Sari’s “advanced”
skills. In short, it meant she could already add small sums, she knew her
alphabet, and she already had the grammar skills of an eleven or twelve-year-
old at only age five. Of course, this came as no surprise to her father, as he
taught her as much as he could as quickly as he could, and she learned well in
her room. She hadn’t had the benefits that other children had, that of
socialization and communication, so all she could do each day was learn. Learn
and use her imagination.
Tom had instructed the kids to take a worksheet off the front table about
midway through the first half of the day. “Fill out these worksheets, guys, as
well as you can. It’s alright if you can’t spell some things, or you don’t know
a few letters. If you can’t read some of the instructions, I’ll be happy to
help you out. This is to help me know more about you.”
A gentle hum settled over the room as the students began to work on the sheets.
Matthew was watching Sari intensely, making sure that she seemed okay, when she
suddenly stood up and backed away from her table. A few students looked at her
quickly, but ignored her strange behavior.
“Sari?” Matthew questioned, rising from his seat in the corner. She turned to
him, her eyes wide. Matthew went over to her, taking her hand in his. “What’s
wrong?” he asked softly.
“Look.” She pulled him to the table, and pointed at the worksheet. It was
filled out until about halfway down, where Sari’s pencil had abruptly stopped.
What’s your favorite thing to do with your Mummy? the question read.
Matthew had a loss for words, until he gathered himself together. “Erm, just
skip it, darling,” he said softly. “Cross it out if you’d like.”
Cautiously, Sari sat back down at her seat. Matthew went back to the corner of
the room.
“What’s wrong?” a little girl next to Sari probed. Matthew could see her
nametag read Rumi.
“Oh… this question,” Sari said simply, pointing at her paper. “My mummy is a
very bad person. She does bad things.”
Rumi nodded, not understanding fully but listening all the same. “Okay,” she
said simply. “Do you want a hug?”
Sari seemed to tense up, but then nodded, and the two girls gave each other a
quick embrace.
They talked up till lunchtime, Matthew smiling when he realized that Sari had
made her first friend.
When lunchtime had rolled around, Matthew got another chance to speak with Mr.
Kirk.
“Wow,” the teacher stated simply as he sat on the opposite side of his desk,
facing Matthew. “I assure you, Mr. Bellamy, you have nothing to worry about.
Sari is an excellent student, as I’m sure you’ve seen. Did you teach her all of
this yourself, or has she had extracurricular courses?”
Matthew took his own lunch out from under the desk, opening it as he spoke.
“I’ve taught her, erm, at home,” he said slowly, taking out a bento box that
Kelly had prepared earlier. “And please, er, call me Matthew. Mr. Bellamy is
much too, erm, formal, considering that I’m most likely... many years younger
than you.”
Mr. Kirk laughed heartily. “You can call me Tom, if you wish. And, I hope you
don’t mean that as an insult!” Another giggle signaled that he was merely
joking. “I’m nearly forty, and you’re clearly younger.”
“Yeah,” Matthew replied, taking a bite of Kelly’s sushi. The taste lingered in
his mouth, absolutely divine. He had forgotten how good a cook she was. “I’m
only twenty-two.”
“My,” Tom said gently, turning to his food. “You’re a bit on the young side to
be a father.”
Matthew’s next laugh was riddled with nerves. “Yeah,” he agreed.
“How old were…?”
“I was seventeen when Sari was born,” he replied to the unasked question.
Tom swallowed a bite of his sandwich. Turkey, Matthew could tell from the
outside. “Was it hard?”
“Hard?”
“Being a dad so young. I have two little ones of my own, a nine-year-old and a
seven-year-old, and it’s a handful. How did you do it?”
Matthew sighed. “I didn’t have anything else except her. When Sari was born, I,
er, was in a tough situation. She was everything to me. Every day, I used to
look forward to being able to see her, and I cherished the short moments we got
to eat breakfast together and the times I got to sneak into her room and tell
her a few stories. And she was always so happy, even after everything her
mother did.”
Tom seemed taken aback by the amount of information he had gathered from
Matthew’s short burst of speech. “What d’you mean... she was the only person
you had? I don’t mean to pry, but… don’t you have any other family?”
A shrug. “Not really. I never was close with my parents. I have an older
brother, but he moved out when I was eight. And I was thirteen when, erm….”
The teacher leaned in closer. “What happened to you, Matthew? You don’t have to
tell me, of course, if you aren’t comfortable, but… what happened? It can only
help me understand you and Sari better.”
Matthew shrugged again, the words falling off his tongue. “Sari’s mother abused
me.”
He could almost hear Tom’s blood pressure dropping. “What?”
“She abused me,” he repeated, rather simply for such a revelation. “In any way
you think of.”
Tom set his sandwich down on the table, while Matthew took another bite of his
sushi. He really had to thank Kelly. “Is that why you’re so young?” Tom asked
gently.
Matthew only nodded, swallowing.
The gears started clicking into place. “And is that why you wanted to come in
today? To see if anything could possibly… upset Sari?”
Another nod. Another bite.
Tom looked down at his food, his face signaling that he had clearly lost his
appetite. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, but Matthew only tilted his head.
“It’s no big deal now,” he said quietly. “It’s over. I’m trying to help Sari
move on. And it’s better for her if she sees that I’m not upset.” Matthew held
up a hand. It trembled visibly. “I may be shaking, but you can hear how calm my
voice is. I try to keep myself controlled when I talk about Gaia, but… some
things I can’t help. I just want to seem in control in case Sari ever needs to
talk to me about her mother, so she feels like I’ll know what to say, y’know?
And the truth is, I’m terrified. I’m scared to death of Sari’s mother. The
things she did, the things she didn’t do that I know she would, it’s
frightening to think about. She never touched Sari, I made sure to always put
myself in the way, but… as a baby, as a toddler, she’s seen things that grown
people haven’t. And I hate for that to stay with her. Which is why I enrolled
her here. I felt if she was surrounded by normal kids and had a normal teacher,
she’d get to finally experience life as a child.”
Matthew took another bite of his sushi. Tom said nothing.
“And… sometimes, y’know, it hurts. Having a child of, y’know, rape, is
unsettling. Of course, I never gave birth to her, but Gaia didn’t want to keep
her. She was going to drop her off somewhere, but… I felt like I couldn’t leave
a piece of me just out there. So I kept her. Gaia wanted nothing to do with
her, and I understand that Sari is my child, but… sometimes, when I look at
her, I see her mother. There are so many features of hers that are her
mother’s, her mouth and her nose and the color of her hair, that I feel as if
sometimes I want to look away. But she’s such a beautiful girl, and… I couldn’t
bare if anything else happened to her.”
Matthew coughed.
“Sorry for, er, just saying all that,” he muttered to himself. “Didn’t mean to,
er, tell you my whole life story.” Another unsettled laugh.
“No, no,” Tom replied gently, as if he were talking to a toddler. “Don’t worry
at all. I completely understand where you’re coming from. Sometimes it’s good
to let it all out, y’know?”
It was Matthew’s turn to remain silent. The two started up small talk in an
attempt to change the subject.
“What about your kids?” Matthew asked after a short while.
“Ah,” Tom chuckled. “A son and a daughter, in that order. My son’s called
Phoenix, my daughter’s called Lotus. They’re great kids. Really smart.”
“Do they go to this school?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t teach them, sadly. Would’ve been pretty funny, though.”
Matthew agreed with a giggle.
The bell rang, and Tom packed his lunch, telling his kids to do the same. The
day resumed, mostly uneventful. Matthew was starting to feel as if Sari truly
would be comfortable here. Between Rumi and his confidence in Mr. Kirk, he for
once felt content.
At the end of the day, Sari rushed over to Matthew. “Daddy!” she exclaimed with
a squeal as they waited in the classroom for Alfie. “That was so much fun! I
love school.”
Matthew smiled at Sari’s enthusiasm, but as he was about to reply, Alfie walked
in the room. “Ready?” he asked the two, and they nodded, following him out.
The ride home was peaceful, with Sari holding tightly onto Matthew’s leg on the
train.
Chapter End Notes
     Don't worry. We'll meet Dominic in the next chapter.
***** Chapter 2.1: In Which We Meet Dominic *****
Chapter Summary
     Once upon a time, in a completely different place, we come into
     contact with a man whose biggest issue is deciding what to have for
     breakfast.
Chapter Notes
     It's here!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Dominic never expected to work in retail. But he had lots of free time now,
and, after inheriting his father’s £100 million estate, there was no need for
him to continue working at his exhausting—but high paying—job in manual labor.
However, he couldn’t deal with doing nothing all day, as he did so for a week
and felt as if he would pass out from boredom, so he’d sent out applications to
multiple big companies in the area, stressing his skill with languages.
Eventually, he landed one in a local department store, and he’d gotten settled
easily.
There he was, a gorgeous (if he didn’t mind saying so), practically overnight
multi-millionaire, standing in the center of a department store in khakis and a
vest, informing a woman in Mandarin Chinese that this particular shop did not
sell cheongsams but a store down the road had a few older ones.
Languages had always been Dominic’s specialty. When he was little, his father
always had servants to attend to him and his older sister Emma, and by the time
he was seven, he could speak English, Spanish, and French fluently, all from
their help. He continued to learn Italian, German, and Portuguese by the time
he was in his teens—and when he graduated high school, he’d learned Korean,
Japanese, Arabic, and Mandarin Chinese. He had always found languages
exquisite, and he hoped—even though he knew it was impossible—to be able to
speak every language in the world. For, being the son of a man who traveled
frequently for work, he was always venturing to other countries, and he loved
to see the different types of people around the world.
The Chinese woman thanked him over and over for his assistance, and he smiled
as she walked away. He was about to head to the back room to take his break
when he heard the door open and, realizing that there was no other staff
around, he turned again to face the door.
A man, roughly his height but of a much smaller build, had walked into the
store, holding the hand of a small girl who he assumed was his daughter—despite
how young the man looked. “Ah,” the man said, approaching Dominic. “Hello, I
was wondering if you carry any winter coats for kids?” He placed his hand on
the little girl’s head, letting out a little laugh. “This little one doesn’t
have any, and it’s starting to get chilly.”
Dominic was at a loss for words. The man’s eyes were a piercing blue, and
instantly he felt swept in. Between the stranger’s eyes, his cheekbones, his
jawline, and the gentle way his lips turned up in the hint of a smile, he was
caught.
“Shì de, gēnzhe wǒ,” Dominic muttered with wide eyes, not having transitioned
from Mandarin to English.
“Sorry, what?” the man questioned, his eyebrows furrowing together, and it was
only with that movement that Dominic caught himself and started to apologize
profusely.
“No, no, I’m so sorry, I was just speaking to a lady in Chinese and I
completely forgot, I’m sorry,” Dominic said quickly, earning a laugh from the
man. “I meant to say that of course we do, if you’ll just follow me.”
Dominic led the two over to the juniors’ department, and then knelt down to the
height of the daughter. “What’s your favorite color, sweetie?”
“Erm, purple and red,” she muttered, hiding behind her father’s leg.
Dominic chuckled at her nervousness, and rose to grab a purple coat with red
zips off a rack near him. “I’m guessing this would fit you.” The girl grinned
at her father, and took the coat from Dominic’s hands.
The man smiled at Dominic. “Thanks!”
“If you need any help, my name’s Dominic,” he smiled, waving at the two and
then moving towards the front of the store. He decided to take a register,
because a huge line seemed to be overwhelming his only coworker there.
It took only twenty minutes for the father and daughter to come to the till,
and Dominic grinned at the two. “Found what you were looking for?” he asked,
ringing up the coat he chose for the daughter and a few other shirts.
“Yeah, thank you,” the father said with a soft smile.
Dominic regretted instantly that he had to say his normal sales pitch. “You
want to get our discount card?” he inquired with a nervous smile. “It’d save
you, er, 15% on this and it’s free.”
The father took a second to think, before nodding. “Alright. I’ll probably be
back soon, anyway.”
Smiling wider, Dominic took a card from under the register and handed it to the
father, along with a green pen. “If you’ll fill this out, I can get you
settled,” he instructed, taking a brown card from the other side of the
register and activating it.
“Thank you,” the man smiled, taking the card.
“No, thank you,” Dominic grinned back. “Have a fantastic day.”
“You too,” the father said gently, leading his daughter out.
The line of waiting customers had subsided, and Dominic turned the light on his
register off, signaling that it was closed. He started to input the information
that that man had filled out into the computer near the register.
Name: Matthew James Bellamy
Age: 22
Email: qua@aol.com
Phone (optional): Don’t have a phone yet
Others who can use your card? Sari Bellamy, age 5, daughter :)
Dominic’s heart melted at the smiley face at the end.
Did he mention that he was gay?
And that he was now hopelessly in love?
Chapter End Notes
     Short chapter with a lot of announcements.
     So, I've started to post this story on Dreamwidth, on the official
     Museslash community. I would just like to mention that I absolutely
     loathe the format of that site, so don't worry--all you guys here
     will be about a chapter and a half ahead. If you want, go check out
     this story on Dreamwidth (my username's the same), leave a comment
     even. I've just posted the prologue.
     Any thoughts about Dominic? Not quite sure how I'm gonna make these
     two fall for each other, what with Matthew's backstory, but it'll
     work eventually. I promise. ;)
     In other news: I'm working on both a Belldom one-shot and a
     Wolstendom one-shot! I've noticed the serious lack of Wolstendom, and
     I'm gonna try and fix that a bit. Who knows, maybe I'll post it
     today!
     Love you guys. Thanks for nearly 200 hits.
***** Chapter 2.2: In Which Dominic Goes Out *****
Chapter Summary
     Dominic goes out to discuss... things with Morgan.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Going out with Morgan was just the kind of thing he needed to clear his mind.
The rest of his work day, Dominic had been thinking about the man, the stunning
blue of his eyes, the memory of his face etched into his brain. He needed a
beer, and a good man to talk to.
Morgan had been Dominic’s best friend at school, and continued to be his best
friend even after it ended. He was four years older than Dominic, but acted
four years younger. Dominic adored him—he was like a brother, someone he could
come to with any issue and receive unconditional support and noteworthy advice.
He sat silently at the bar, ordering a Blue Moon, waiting for Morgan to show.
All the while, he couldn’t stop thinking of the man. Matthew. Matthew James
Bellamy. The name rang through his head like a song, a symphony. His hair.
Brown, bordering on black. It looked so soft. I just wanted to run my fingers
through it. So, so soft….
“Oi! Earth to Dom!” a voice called, snapping Dominic out of his thoughts.
“What’s on your mind?”
The blonde turned to see Morgan sitting on the stool next to him. He had no
idea when he’d gotten there. “Oh,” he said quietly, studying his beer bottle.
“Not much. Just some guy I saw at work today. Can’t stop thinking about him.
It’s kind of odd really. Doesn’t seem like my type.”
“Hohoho!” Morgan chuckled. “Coworker or a customer?”
“Customer.”
“What’s he like?”
A sigh escaped Dominic’s lips, and he took another swig from his bottle.
“Young. Twenty-two. Dark hair. My height, a bit shorter. Skinny. Deepest blue
eyes I’ve ever seen. He caught me off guard, I had been speaking in Chinese to
a woman before and I accidentally told him where the jackets were in Mandarin.
It was pretty bad, I think I was obviously flustered, to the point that he’d be
able to tell.”
“Wow,” Morgan laughed, “didn’t think you’d be the type to fall that hard for
the typical dark stranger. Did he seem gay at all? What was he dressed like?”
“Standard,” Dominic replied, looking down at his bottle. It was almost empty.
“Tight black jeans, grey button down with the sleeves rolled up. He’s got
really big hands.”
“Ah, so he was gay, even if just a tad,” Morgan affirmed.
Dominic’s lips pursed. “Mm, I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“Dunno,” he said, waving the bartender over. “Maybe it was the fact that he
seemed… formal, like, generally uninterested.”
“Uninterested? That’s no way to tell if he’s gay or not,” Morgan countered.
“I mean, he was also with his daughter. Two more,” he added to the man in the
apron, who nodded and placed their drinks in front of them.
“Wait, what?”
“Yeah,” Dominic shrugged, taking a sip. “Little girl. Five years old. They were
looking for winter coats.”
“Shit, Dom…” Morgan said quietly, drinking from his own beer. An uncomfortably
long silence fell upon the two until Morgan finished, “you can’t just fall for
married men, mate. Married men with kids.”
“I know, I know,” Dominic assured him. “I know. But, Morg, I can’t get this guy
out of my head. You should’ve seen him, he was absolutely stunning. He had the
sharpest cheekbones I’ve ever seen, and his eyes. His entire face is so
structured…. He’s gorgeous.”
“Do you want kids? I mean, this guy’s young, but you’re still only twenty-six.
You’ve got time yet, mate.”
“No, but… I’d be willing to, if it was his kid. This man is an angel, I swear.”
“Listen to me, Dom.” Morgan’s voice became serious. “You can’t fall for a
married man. You know how much trouble that would cause? You deserve more than
that, mate.” Morgan shook his head with a light laugh. “And, besides, you
probably won’t see him again, anyway.”
“But Morg, what if he isn’t married? What if he’s divorced, or—or widowed.”
“At twenty-two? I doubt it. I doubt even more that he’s gay or even a little
bit bi, especially if he has kids.”
“You’re probably right,” Dominic resigned. “Oh, Morgan, you should’ve seen him.
He’s a fuckin’ angel. His eyes….”
Morgan shook his head. “Dom, you’re rich now. You know you could buy any,
y’know, escort you wanted.”
“But I don’t want an escort. It isn’t just about the sex, y’know, I… I don’t
know what I want. I want him. He’s just… I don’t know. There’s something
special about him. It’s a stupid crush. I want to hold him, touch his hair,
y’know? Stupid stuff. ‘Course, sex wouldn’t be bad, either. I don’t know. I
wouldn’t even mind if he didn’t want it, Morg, he’s that fuckin’ beautiful. I
don’t even know how I could feel this way, like, if I’ve only just met him, but
Jesus.”
Morgan’s hand flew to his chest, his mouth gaping in mock surprise. “Wait, did
I just hear Dominic Howard say that he didn’t want sex?” he gasped.
“Shut up, you twit,” the blond snickered, slapping Morgan on the back. “I’m
just… impartial.”
“That’s still a first.”
“Anyway,” Dominic interrupted playfully, “what’s been going on with you?”
“Not much,” the older replied. “Got skipped for that promotion at work.”
“Aw, shit, really?” Dominic said quietly, thankful that they had changed the
topic. “That sucks. Bastards.”
“No, it’s fine,” Morgan shrugged. “Maybe I’ll get it next time. Besides, the
guy who got it, he’s a fuckin’ genius. Deserves it.”
The small talk continued. Soon enough, Dominic found himself having to depart,
as he had work the next day and didn’t want to be late in case he saw Matthew
again. He said his goodbyes to Morgan with a certain air of haste.
“Good luck with your promotion,” he said quickly with a kiss to his friend’s
cheek.
“Yeah, and good luck to you with your short-dark-and-married stranger,” the
older man quipped.
“Shut up,” Dominic laughed, waving as he walked out the door.
The ride home was cool, breezy, and quiet. The blond was just getting off the
train at Pimlico Station, he heard the familiar voice.
Matthew.
Chapter End Notes
     I've just finished Chapter 5.1. I will post warnings ahead of time
     for what you can expect in the future.
***** Chapter 2.3: In Which Dominic Asks *****
Chapter Summary
     Now that he's a bit closer to Matthew, he figures he'll take a risk.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Dominic turned the corner to see Matthew walking in the same direction he had
to go, Sari trotting by his side. “Matthew!” he called, and the dark-haired man
turned around, appearing startled.
“Oh,” he said quietly when he realized it was Dominic. “Hello, erm….”
“Dom,” the blond said, shaking his hand. “Fancy seeing you here. D’you live
around here?”
“Er, yeah, actually,” Matthew said quietly. Dominic fell into step next to him,
studying the smaller man’s face. “D’you?”
“Yeah, just up there.” Dominic pointed down the road, and Matthew nodded,
letting out a light giggle.
“How’d you get to living up there if you work at that store?” he asked softly.
“No offense meant, I mean, that’s not a cheap neighborhood.”
Dominic just grinned, the sound of Matthew’s laugh sounding divine. “I have an
inheritance,” he shrugged. “What about you, what do you do for a living?”
“Odd jobs,” Matthew replied, looking down at the ground. “I play music, host at
a restaurant, work as a florist. Gets us by, yeah?” He shook Sari’s hand
lightly, and she giggled.
Slowly, the blond swallowed, asking the question he’d been afraid to. “Your…
wife, does she work, too? I mean, that’s a pretty nice lot you’ve got
yourself.”
Matthew’s demeanor instantly changed, turning from that of someone who was open
and happy, to someone who seemed terrified. “Er, no, I don’t… I don’t have a
wife,” he whispered. “It’s just me and Sari.”
“It’s okay, Daddy,” Dominic could almost hear Sari say, but the words were lost
in the breeze.
With an air of embarrassment, Dominic’s shoulders hunched. “Oh, er, sorry,
mate. Didn’t realize—”
“It’s no big deal,” Matthew interrupted, giving him a genuine, tooth-filled
smile to indicate his honesty. Between those thin lips, Dominic could spot that
a few of the teeth were crooked. He adored it.
“Well, looks like you’re here,” Dominic sighed. “See you around?”
“Definitely,” Matthew smiled again, before turning around and walking Sari to
the door. “Bye, Dominic,” he waved as he closed the door.
“Goodbye, Matthew,” Dominic answered after the man had disappeared. It took him
a second to start back towards his own home, as the chance encounter shocked
him.
With slightly shaky hands, he opened the door to his house and stepped in, the
familiar warm aura greeting him. With a sigh, he plopped down on his sofa,
pulling off his socks. Another long day of… nothing, really. Standing,
organizing, standing, switching from Spanish to English quite frequently. His
shoulders shrugged off his work vest, the thin blue cloth fluttering to the
floor. Soon his shirt followed, and his stiff khakis, so he lounged in just his
boxers. No one could see him, so what was the point? He could lay how he
wanted.
With rigid arms, he reached for the remote and turned on his TV. Graham Norton.
He needed a bit of sassy comedy to take his mind off things.
That night, he fell asleep on the couch, curled up with a pillow and a blanket.
_____________________
 
Two days later, he laid eyes on Matthew again. It was close to closing time,
and once more, Dominic was about to head back to the storage room, when he saw
the unmistakable mop of dark hair walk through the door. He bit his lip to
refrain from saying anything, not wanting to completely abandon his
professional demeanor. It only took a few seconds, though, for his pursed lips
to morph into a smile as Matthew noticed him and waved. He waved gently back,
and Matthew began to walk over.
When the lower half of his body came into view, no longer blocked by shelves,
Dominic noticed that he walked with a cane, and leaning quite heavily on it.
“Er, hello, Dominic,” Matthew said quietly.
“Hi, Matthew, what’s up?” Dominic answered with a grin. “Need any help?”
The brunet shifted. “Er, yeah…. It’s been a while since I’ve bought some
clothes, I mean, for the longest time I was just using my old ones and now I’m
borrowing a mate’s, but, er, I’m not sure how to figure out which size I am. I
mean, it’s probably weird, y’know, but could you, erm, help me find the right
sizes?”
Dominic paused for a second, staring at Matthew with slightly narrowed eyes as
he processed his request. Soon after, though, he burst into a round of
laughter.
“Sorry, it’s odd—” Matthew started, but Dominic just waved his hand.
“No, no, not at all,” he giggled. “You don’t have to look so nervous, mate.
That’s my job, to help people find things. What kind of clothes are you looking
for?”
Relaxing, Matthew replied, “Shirts, mostly. Maybe a few pants, too, I could
always use them for work.”
“Alright,” Dominic replied, leading him over to the men’s section.
“Semiformal?”
“Yeah.”
Dominic’s hands flew through the racks, pulling out a few colored button ups.
“These are relatively good quality, and they’re pretty cheap. If you’d like,
you can try them on.”
“Alright,” affirmed Matthew, who took them in his hand and moved to the
changing room. He had a bit of trouble with the door, though, trying to figure
out where to put his cane, and Dominic stepped in gently.
He twisted the knob, giving Matthew a friendly smile. “There you go,” he said
mostly to himself as Matthew shuffled in. After closing the door, Dominic
couldn’t resist asking, “What happened to your leg?”
“Oh,” came the muffled reply, as if Matthew had been talking through his shirt.
“I, er, dislocated my hip about a month back and I aggravated it recently.”
“Ah,” Dominic replied. They fell into silence, until Matthew knocked on the
door and Dominic let him out.
“These are good,” Matthew said, and headed over to the register. As Dominic
checked him out, he noticed that the blonde shook a bit. “You okay?” he asked
carefully.
“Yeah, yeah,” Dominic assured him with a weak smile. Little did Matthew know,
Dominic had been working up the nerve to ask him a certain question. The
question. “So, erm, since we’re neighbors, y’know, you wanna come up my place
for, y’know, dinner?” he rushed out as Matthew handed him a wad of bills. The
brunet appeared taken aback, and Dominic retraced his words. “I mean, it’s
totally up to you. A-And you can bring your daughter, your girlfriend, anyone
you want. B-But if you can’t, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
Matthew’s eyes widened, before he shook his head with a laugh. “Of course,” he
said quietly. “When, tonight?”
Taken aback by his response, Dominic paused for a second before hurriedly
answering, “Yes, yeah, any time that’s good for you, totally.”
“Alright,” Matthew said with a smile. “I’ll be over at around five, and I think
I’ll bring Sari, if you don’t mind.”
“Yeah,” Dominic affirmed, handing Matthew a plastic bag with his clothes. “See
you then.”
“See you.” Another smile, a wave, and he was gone.
Dominic felt ecstatic. Even though the dinner would just be as friends, it was
an opportunity.
Chapter End Notes
     Short filler chapter, I know. Quite boring, really. The dinner is
     coming up soon, though. The next chapter will also be pretty happy.
     Love you all.
***** Chapter 3.1: In Which Matthew Has His First Dream *****
Chapter Summary
     Matthew recalls Sari's birth.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
He decided he would name her Sari.
He had no idea where he got the name from, but he adored it the moment he
thought of it.
Their journey to the delivery room had been stressful, Matthew nervous after
leaving the house for the first time in months. He had almost forgotten how to
drive, but his muscle memory had taken over and he had sped to the hospital.
Except, when he got there, he’d been shoved away, Gaia repeatedly insisting she
didn’t want him there.
“Are you her son?” a nurse had asked, but he had shook his head, looking down.
“I’m the father,” he had muttered.
She appeared stunned, obviously surprised by the fact that the seventeen-year-
old boy before her was the partner of a 46-year-old woman. But he wasn’t
allowed in, even though he had begged the nurse repeatedly.
“I can’t do anything,” she told him. “She decides who comes and goes.”
So Matthew was left to sit in the waiting room, Gaia’s muffled shouts from down
the hallway occasionally floating to his ears. He filled out paperwork, and
then occupied himself with reading a book of names for the baby.
He’d seen Sarah, formulated Sari, and decided on Sari.
By that time, he could see a different nurse rushing out of the delivery room.
He stood, approaching her. “What’s the news?” he asked eagerly. She might be
her child, but she was his, too.
“Your mother—” the nurse started, but Matthew jumped to correct her.
“She isn’t my mother, I’m the father.”
“Oh,” she said bluntly. “Well, er, your partner, she had a healthy birth. The
baby’s a girl, if you didn’t know. Your… partner, she said you could come in
now, help her fill out the paperwork."
“Okay,” Matthew smiled lightly, still dazed by the fact that he would be a
father.
That he was a father.
He certainly never expected to be one, especially not this early, but since it
had happened, he was so happy. So happy.
When he entered the room, though, his happiness seemed to fade. Gaia’s eyes
were drooping, a look that not only reminded him of her bedroom eyes, but also
seemed to bring up a memory of her being high.
He approached the bed, touched her forehead. “Gaia?” he asked softly. Before
they had left the house, she had instructed him to treat her like a lover, so
not to arouse suspicion. “How are you, love?” he continued, moving his hand to
her hair.
“Good,” she replied lazily. “The baby… what are we going to name her?” Gaia had
agreed to let Matthew pick a name, as she wanted nothing to do with it after
they left the hospital. As such, Matthew had agreed to full responsibility, and
thus would fill out all paperwork.
“Sari,” he told her, and she let a tiny smile grace her lips.
“Beautiful,” she answered, and Matthew couldn’t tell if she was acting any
more.
A doctor tapped him on the shoulder. “Excuse me,” she said, as if trying to
move him. He noticed then a nurse behind her, holding the baby.
“May I hold her first, ma’am?” Matthew asked quickly, turning to Gaia. She gave
a curt nod, and Matthew smiled, opening his arms to the doctor.
The nurse passed the baby to him, and he gently took her in his arms.
He was struck with total awe. Despite being only a few minutes old, she was
already gorgeous, Matthew could tell. One of his hands moved to gently caress
her blanket-wrapped head, and with that, she opened her eyes.
Stunning blue met his own. She had his eyes.
She had his eyes.
Tears started to roll down his cheeks. “Hi,” he croaked out, his voice cracking
and breaking. “Hi, there, Sari. Hi.”
He laughed through his tears as she continued to look at him in wonder.
“You are the most beautiful being I’ve ever seen,” he muttered to her, placing
a kiss to her forehead. She still didn’t cry out, simply looked at him in awe.
Eventually, he moved to give her to Gaia, who reluctantly took her in her arms.
At this moment, Sari started to wail, Gaia’s eyes turning fierce as she tensed
up. Matthew looked away, not being able to see that look without thinking of
other things.
The nurses took back Sari, bringing her to a nursery. Gaia closed her eyes,
pretending she was falling asleep as the delivery team exited the room.
When they left, her words were stern. “You do not let me see the baby. She is
my gift to you, Matthew. I never wish to see her again. You keep her in the
spare room, you may stay with her for a year, you may silence her if she is
crying. Donotlet me lay eyes upon her, though. Do you understand?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied softly.
“I have given you this child. I expect you to care for it. Tell me what you
need for her, and I shall give it to you. No more, though. Do you understand?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I would’ve had an abortion. I would’ve killed the thing the first month. But
your behavior improved and so I let you keep it. I’ve now gone through an
extreme amount of pain to deliver her. But she is not my child, Matthew. She is
only yours. She is not mine, and never will be mine. Onlyyouwill be mine, do
you understand?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“You are mine, Matthew. I will be stricter on you, now, because I have given
you one of the most difficult gifts to give and I expect you to be respectful
towards me at all times. You are mine, Matthew. I completely control you now.
Do you understand?”
Matthew bowed his head.
“Yes, ma’am.”
He slept that night on the cheap sofa in the corner of the hotel room, the
previous joy he had when he realized he was finally a father fading at his new
responsibilities.
It would be so, so hard.
Chapter End Notes
     Oh, dear Matthew.
***** Chapter 3.2: In Which Matthew Goes to Dinner *****
Chapter Summary
     The three of them share a meal.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“Come on, Sari. We have to go.” Matthew had been trying to collect her for
fifteen minutes, but she kept stalling, always finding something else to occupy
herself with.
“Okay, Daddy, let me get my shoes on first!” Sari called back to her father,
running to the doorway and putting on her sandals. As Matthew rounded the
corner, he saw her, feet clad in pink straps, sitting completely still, staring
at the wall.
“Sari, love, what’s wrong?” he asked quickly, kneeling to her height.
“I don’t wanna go,” she finally stated, after having avoided saying it. “I’m
scared.”
Matthew shook his head, pulling her into a hug. “There’s no reason to be
scared, love. We’re just going for dinner with one of our neighbors. He’s
Daddy’s friend, right? Nothing’s gonna happen.”
She still shifted uncomfortably. “But… after dinner, Daddy, you… you’d be
really loud and you’d yell and cry a lot. I don’t want… I don’t want you to be
sad again, Daddy.”
“Oh, baby,” Matthew whispered into her ear. “It’s okay now. That won’t happen
again. Mummy’s gone, remember? It’s just you and me, now. It’s just us. We’ll
be fine, I promise.”
His dream from last night echoed in his head. The fear seemed new.
“You promise?” she repeated, and he nodded with a swallow as he pulled away.
“I promise. Now, come on, we’re late.”
“Okay!” She appeared much happier now that Matthew had clarified the
circumstances, and followed Matthew willingly out the door.
The walk to Dominic’s was silent. Sari would occasionally hum to herself, but
mostly held obediently onto Matthew’s cane as they headed down the street.
Deep breath, Matthew thought once he reached the door. It’s just a dinner.
Don’t freak out, don’t worry too much, watch out for Sari, and you’ll be fine.
He’s a nice guy. Ring the damn doorbell.
He did.
It only took a few seconds for the door to open, and Matthew was surprisingly
greeted by Dominic’s smiling face. The blond donned a flannel shirt rolled up
to the elbows and tight black skinny jeans with a plain blue apron covering his
front, as opposed to his usual work clothes, and that surprised Matthew the
smallest bit. However, he wasted no time in greeting him, politely saying,
“Hello, Dominic, it’s nice to see you.” He pulled gently at his cane, which
brought Sari to his front. The little girl shied away as Matthew continued,
“This is Sari, my daughter. Say hi, darling,” he added to her.
“Hello…” she bashfully muttered, sinking into Matthew’s leg.
Dominic crouched down to her height, smiling broadly at her. “Hi there, Sari,”
he said in a slightly higher voice than what Matthew recognized was his normal
pitch, “my name’s Dominic. It’s very nice to see you again.”
Sari only nodded, hiding her face in Matthew’s knee. A light laugh came from
the two men as Dominic rose to his feet. “Come in, come in, I’m nearly done
with the pasta,” he rushed, heading back in the house. “Make yourself at home,
and you can take your shoes off.”
It took a few seconds for the instructions to register as Matthew gazed at the
immaculately decorated townhouse. Everything had a flowing theme, from the dark
wood chairs and sofas with olive cushions to the white granite countertops in
the dark wood kitchen. The floors were covered in expensive rugs, and Matthew
could spot a huge television hidden behind a shelf in the living room. A
crystal chandelier lit up the entryway, which led directly to a glass wall with
plants embedded in the center. Underneath an assortment of rugs, Matthew could
spot crystalline white marble along the floors, making for a truly lavish
space. “Jesus,” he said to himself, but Dominic must’ve heard, for he peeked
his head out of the kitchen and asked what was up. “Nothing,” he corrected
himself, “but your house is… fantastic. It’s so fancy.”
Dominic merely shrugged. “I have an inheritance.”
Matthew seemed shocked, as if to say, No shit.
Regaining his composure, Matthew slid off his shoes and helped Sari do the
same. He then brought her over to what he assumed was the living room, placing
her gently on a sofa. The cushions practically melted under them, and the
little girl giggled contentedly.
“Oh, er, if you want, you can just tell the telly to turn itself on and you can
put whatever you want,” Dominic called from the kitchen, his words nearly cut
off by the sound of a closing oven door.
Confused by the instructions, Matthew instead opted to press the power button
on the actual television, and the huge screen sparked to life, presenting them
both with an episode of some sort of cartoon. Sari instantly turned all her
attention to the screen, hooking an arm around a pillow and settling herself
back. Matthew used this time to get up and head to the kitchen, to see if
Dominic needed any help with the meal.
“No, no,” Dominic replied hurriedly, although he appeared to be juggling
cooking sauce and the pasta at the same time. “You’re the guest, don’t worry
about it.”
When Dominic nearly dropped the sauce spoon, though, Matthew knew he should
step in, so he gently took the spoon from Dominic’s weak grasp and started to
stir it himself. “It’s no big deal,” he assured Dominic repeatedly. “Don’t
worry about it.”
Matthew noticed a blush.
Soon enough, the food was done, and set on the table. “Sari, come on,” Matthew
called over to her, taking a seat across from Dominic.
“Okay,” came the response, and a few seconds later she ran in, sitting right
next to Matthew. Dominic smiled affectionately at the two, but mostly at how
cute Sari looked trying to get on the chair.
“So,” he said once everyone settled, “when did you move around here, Matthew?
I’ve been here for a while and never seen you around.”
Matthew shrugged, taking a bite of the pasta. “Recently. I’d been living with a
friend for a while, me and Sari, and eventually I was on my own feet and I got
my place down the road. It’s got a good school district, so I figured it’d be
worth it.”
“Ah.” Dominic’s nod was short and understanding. “You, er, probably get asked
this a lot,” Dominic rushed out, “but how old were you when Sari was born?”
“Seventeen,” Matthew replied simply, taking another bite of his pasta. “I was
seventeen.”
“Oh.”
“Mhm.” Matthew’s mouth was full, and he nudged gently at Sari’s side. “Eat
something,” he instructed her, and she cocked her head to the side.
“Did you make it?” she questioned slowly, and Matthew leaned down to her ear.
“Sari, I helped make it, baby. It’s okay. You can eat it.”
“Okay…” she said slowly, taking a bite of her pasta as Matthew stuffed another
mouthful of his. When the taste registered in her mouth, a huge smile broke out
on her face. “Daddy, this is delicious!” she exclaimed, proceeding to shove it
down her throat as fast as she could.
“Slow down, love,” Matthew giggled, and Dominic laughed along with him. “And,
thank Mr….”
“Howard,” Dominic said with a dismissive wave, “but call me Dom, really. And
it’s no big deal at all, Sari.”
She nodded, and Dominic continued to talk with Matthew. “What did you say you
did for a living?” he asked once again.
Matthew swallowed. “Quite a few things. I play piano at a pub downtown, and I
host at a Mexican place. Sometimes I’ll help my friend Chris with his flower
shop. It’s all pretty well paying, I guess. What about you?”
“I just work at that department store, nothing much.”
Another bite. Another swallow. “You got a girlfriend, then?” Matthew asked
softly.
Dominic laughed and shook his head. “Nah,” he said. “Wouldn’t ever, I don’t
think.”
“Why?”
“I don’t really look on that side of the street, y’know.”
Matthew thought for a second, before his eyes widened. “Oh. Are you…?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh. Erm, I wanted to ask you,” Matthew added, trying to change the subject
from his rapidly reddening face, “about why you had, y’know, talked to me in
Chinese the first time we met. Do you really speak Chinese?”
Dominic just nodded. “Yeah, I speak something like nine languages, I think.”
Matthew’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Isn’t that hard?”
“Yeah, but I get used to it.”
“What’s your favorite?”
Pause. “Italian.”
Matthew noticeably tensed, and Sari looked up at him. “Daddy? You said Mummy
was—”
“Yes,” Matthew cut in, interrupting her. “She is.”
Dominic paused for a second, trying to think of the right thing to say. “Did
you divorce?” he finally settled on asking, but Matthew shook his head, moving
to stand up. “Wh…” Dominic started as Matthew rose, but he stopped as Matthew
gestured to him to follow.
They sat in the living room, away from Sari. Matthew took a shaky breath.
“Let me tell you about Sari’s mother.”
Chapter End Notes
     Woah! Someone's going to do some explaining.
     As of now, I've written up to Chapter 8.1. I've been writing a lot
     more, so (knock on wood) you'll be getting somewhat consistent
     chapter updates. On the official MuseSlash Dreamwidth, I've just
     finished the prologue and finally filed for an author tag. You guys
     are considerably farther ahead. Congratulations (?)
     Anyway, I've been writing a smaller Belldom fic (one shot?), and
     "Being" is gonna get a little frisky later on. I'm in the works of
     devising a Wolstenkirk fic, too.
     Thank you guys for almost 300 hits. Love you all.
***** Chapter 3.3: In Which Matthew Offers an Explanation *****
Chapter Summary
     Matthew has to tell some things to Dominic, but he's not sure he
     wants to.
Chapter Notes
     Sorry for the wait in posting.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
“Sari’s mother?” Dominic seemed confused, but Matthew shook his head.
“I… Dom,” he said quickly, using his nickname. “I’ve told no one really about
her except Chris, the man who took me in after we… split. I trust you, for some
crazy reason, I really and truly trust you even though we’ve almost literally
just met. I… don’t think about me differently after this. Me, or her. Please.
Just… keep an open mind, alright?”
Dominic nodded slowly. “Okay,” he said quietly.
Another shaky breath. Matthew’s heart raced. He had no idea why he was about to
confide in practically a stranger, but he trusted Dominic. He hoped that one
day they would grow close, and he didn’t want to have to wait until that
happened to tell him about Gaia. “I lived with her for seven years. From the
time I was fifteen to this year. I… It wasn’t a good experience. Sari was
actually really nervous to come over here because she’s afraid of strangers
since… well, since she’s been born. Because she… she wasn’t allowed to leave
the house.”
“What?” Dominic asked quietly.
“Yeah. She… she had to stay inside for the first five years of her life. And…
and I tried to keep her safe. I tried so hard to keep her safe, Dom, I did. I…
I put myself in front of Gaia every time she tried to go near her, and every
single day I thank whatever power there is that she’s safe. But some… some of
the things that Sari saw Gaia do to me, it… it hurt her a lot. A-And you can
probably guess, y’know, she’s Italian and spoke a lot of Italian to Sari, so s-
she associates that with her. And she’s afraid of strangers, too, so, that’s
why she’s kinda, y’know, quiet.”
Dominic nodded thoughtfully. “Are you both safe now?” When Matthew only
shrugged, Dominic’s eyes widened substantially. “Have you at least reported her
mother, for child neglect or something?”
“No!” Matthew shouted, and at that moment Dominic realized he’d made a mistake.
“No, y-you can’t. You can’t rep-report her, please, they’ll take S-Sari,
they’ll fucking take Sari from me and p-put her in with th-that monster, you
can’t….”
Gently, Dominic took Matthew’s head and shoulders into his arms, cradling the
smaller man as he let out shaky sobs. “Okay,” he assured him repeatedly, “okay,
okay. It’s okay. I won’t tell. I promise you I wouldn’t.” Matthew felt a hand
roam to his back, gently stroking his shirt there. For a split second, he
wondered if he could feel the scars underneath, but then his thoughts fled back
to the realization that he was being held, and tenderly so. He felt right about
trusting Dominic, as if he truly cared.
A second of silence filled the air, before Dominic asked quietly, “How old is
Sari’s mother?”
Matthew stiffened, as if he wasn’t expecting it. And he hadn’t been—most people
asked how old he was, both now and when Sari was born, but no one ever asked
about Gaia. It was an uncomfortable question, one Matthew almost didn’t want to
answer—but he didn’t want the foundations of his and Dominic’s friendship to be
built on a lie.
So he whispered, “She’s fifty-one now.”
Dominic almost pulled away from the shock, but sensing that Matthew was on the
verge of crying again, he didn’t. “Shit,” he whispered in place, his hand
stopping its movements on Matthew’s back. “That’s… so she was… forty-six, when
Sari was born? And you were only seventeen?”
Matthew only nodded, burying his face further into Dominic’s chest. He smelled
of the woods and musk, something inviting and home-like that Matthew enjoyed
greatly. “It’s… humiliating,” Matthew almost wept, and Dominic’s hand moved to
his hair. He seemed to be pulling Matthew closer, deeper into his chest, but
Matthew didn’t mind. The touch comforted him.
“I… as long as you c-consented,” Dominic stuttered, but Matthew only stiffened
more.
“I didn’t,” he muttered, fresh tears soaking through Dominic’s shirt. “When…
when we, y’know… did it, she, erm, sh-she forced it. She forced it every time.”
A shaky sigh left Dominic’s lips, and Matthew moved his body closer to the
blonde’s, wrapping his arms gently around his waist. The two touched almost
entirely, and the physical contact made talking easier for Matthew. Made it
easier for him to let the tears fall.
“She raped you?” Dominic asked simply, and Matthew cringed at the word.
“I… I don’t know, I don’t really…. I don’t really like that word, I don’t, it…
it makes me feel like… like a victim, y’know? I mean, she—she technically did,
but I… I don’t like the word.”
Dominic nodded, letting out a low hum that traveled from his chest into
Matthew’s body. “Alright, Matthew, it isn’t your fault, yeah? You couldn’t have
done anything. It’s not your fault. How long did it last?”
Matthew stuttered, “Nine years. I was thirteen at first.”
“Fuck. I swear to God, Matthew, if I ever find her….” He trailed off, shaking
his head. “Do you have a picture of her?”
Matthew pulled out his wallet, shuffling through a few bills before pulling out
a tiny print and handing it to him. He shivered slightly as Dominic took in the
image of Gaia’s face, smiling wide with closed eyes. He felt the blonde nod
before handing it back to him, and he shoved it back in his wallet, which he
pushed into his pocket.
Silence overcame them then, except for the occasional quiet sob from Matthew
and a gentle “Shh, it’s okay,” from Dominic. There they sat, together, Matthew
at least partially content with being held, when tiny footsteps approached the
couch.
“Daddy?” Matthew heard Sari whisper, and he pulled away from Dominic to see her
eyes wide and body clenched. “Why are you crying, Daddy?” The question sounded
more like a statement, and her mouth curled into a snarl. Before Matthew could
say anything, though, she ran towards them, throwing herself at Dominic and
hurling her tiny fists at any part of him she could reach. “Stop it!” she
screamed, hitting him over and over as Matthew gained his senses and tried to
pull her away. “Stop hurting Daddy! Stop it!”
“Sari!” Matthew shouted, finally yanking her flailing form away from the
cowering blonde. “Sari, why did you do that?!”
“He’s bad!” the little girl cried, making a move to run towards Dominic again,
but Matthew held her tightly.
“No, Sari, I talked to you about this!” he yelled at her, forcing her to look
at him. “I told you, I told you, Dominic isn’t going to hurt you or me. I told
you that, Sari, why are you hurting him?!”
“You’re crying,” she said simply, her eyebrows still furrowed in anger. “You’re
crying and he’s holding onto you, Daddy, he’s making you sad!”
Matthew only shook his head, setting her down. “Sari, no, he was trying to help
me. I was sad and he was helping me to feel better, and now you went and hit
him! That isn’t nice at all. Go apologize right now.”
Sari only turned her nose up, and Matthew let an exasperated sigh pass his
lips. “Dom, I-I’m sorry, really—” he started, before the blonde got up and
approached the little girl.
His voice was calm and controlled as he spoke to her, taking one of her hands
in both of his. “Sari, I’m very sorry that you thought I was scaring your
daddy. I didn’t realize I’d make you upset, alright? I was only giving him a
hug. You like hugs, right?” The little girl slowly nodded, and Dominic smiled.
“See? Don’t hugs usually make you feel better? I was only helping your daddy.
He got really upset and I just wanted to help him, okay? I’m sorry.”
Sari shifted for a second, letting Dominic’s words sink in, before she
muttered, “Sorry, Mr. Dominic.”
"Okay, Sari,” Matthew interrupted. “You’ve ruined it. We’re going home now.”
“What?!” she cried out, now refusing to let go of Dominic’s hands. “I said I
was sorry!”
Matthew shook his head yet again. “No, you’re coming home.”
She almost growled at him and stomped towards the door, going to put her shoes
on. Matthew sighed heavily once she was out of earshot, Dominic standing up
with a weak smile. “I’m sorry,” Matthew said quietly. “I didn’t realize—”
“Don’t worry at all,” Dominic interrupted, pulling Matthew into his arms. “It’s
okay. It’s justified.”
“The joys of being a parent,” Matthew laughed nervously into Dominic’s chest.
Dominic’s giggle filled the stiff air as he moved one hand to play with
Matthew’s hair. “Maybe you can come over again soon,” he said quietly.
“I don’t think I’ll bring Sari next time.”
Dominic laughed, pulling away from Matthew and heading to the door. “It’s
alright. It was so nice to get to spend time with you,” he added as they
reached the entryway. Sari stood in front of the door, arms folded as Dominic
pushed it open. “Hopefully we’ll see each other soon, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Matthew sighed, taking Sari’s hand in his own. “Bye, Dom.”
“Goodbye, Matthew,” Dominic beamed, pressing a chaste kiss to Matthew’s cheek
before waving.
Matthew hurriedly headed down the street, almost dragging Sari along. When he
heard Dominic’s door close, his hands ghosted to his face, touching where
Dominic had kissed. It had been reassuring, something small and affectionate
that he’d never gotten and suddenly he craved it.
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Sari said again as they reached their house.
“You don’t hit people, Sari,” Matthew scolded, opening the door to let them
both in. “That was so inappropriate.”
“I… I love you, Daddy,” she tried, her tiny hands clutching onto the bottom of
his t-shirt, and he finally melted at her words.
“I love you too, Sari, darling.”
Chapter End Notes
     I should probably upload onto Dreamwidth.
***** Chapter 3.4: In Which Matthew Has His Second Dream *****
Chapter Summary
     It's worse than the first.
He had no idea how he’d gotten back to the house, but he was there. Standing in
the entryway, frozen. He felt younger.
Before him stood Gaia.
The memories came rushing back, the memories of leaving the house, of walking
outside, of seeing Gaia, of running back in with the knowledge that he had made
a terrible mistake.
"Why were you outside, Matthew?” she asked slowly.
Matthew’s head fell to his chest. “I wanted to see the trees, ma’am,” he
admitted. He wasn’t used to being stuck in the house. He’d only moved in with
her recently, he was only fifteen, he still was achild.He wanted to go outside.
But he was stuck.
Her footsteps grew near, and a hand held onto his. He was being pulled—gently,
but still pulled—to the bedroom. Her bedroom.
She closed the door. “Matthew. You know I told you to not leave.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Matthew replied obediently as Gaia took off his shirt.
“Do you want to disobey me?” she continued, taking off his pants. He was
completely naked.
“No, ma’am, of course not.”
"You have to get punished now, Matthew.”
A tear escaped his eye as she pulled down his foreskin. His breath hitched as
pain shot through his body. Carefully, he looked down to see she had snapped a
binder clip onto the head of his dick. Ithurt, but he dared not to move. He
dared not to move.
She walked away. Pulled a candle and matches from the drawer. Matthew’s heart
sank.
"Stand still,” she instructed, lighting the match and then the candle.
Wax dripped down the sides. Using two fingers, she moved his gradually
hardening cock so it was right under the wax.
The first drop shot another wave of pain throughout his body, one that didn’t
leave. It reminded him of when he’d be at school and he’d touch a glue gun—it
felt like water at first, but the more he waited, the more painful it became. A
second drop, a third drop, each one hardening on his skin. His fists clenched
and unclenched, his teeth grinding with the effort it took not to cry out and
his knees shaking as he tried to support himself without falling.
Half the candle. He couldn’t feel his skin, the white hot pain morphing into
numbness.
When the candle was almost gone, she moved it so that it was underneath, the
flickering flame scorching the underside of his cock.
He couldn’t help but let out a whimper, the new sensation a completely
different type of pain that skyrocketed into unbearable.
She touched the flame to his dick. The heat was unbearable, and he collapsed to
the floor on his back, writhing in pain at the blistering burn on the underside
of his dick. Tears flowed freely from his eyes, his mouth curled up in a
scrunched expression of pain and sorrow and discomfort and pain and arousal
andpain.
A tut escaped her lips. “You aren’t done,” she warned, taking a toothpick off
the nightstand and forcing it into the remaining burning wax. When a fair bit
had been lathered on the top, he blinked once, twice, making sure his eyes
never left the tiny wooden stick.
Straddling his legs and forcing him to reveal his entire body to her, she
lifted back his foreskin. Shoved the wax underneath it. The unbearable heat and
the sharpness of the pick caused him to scream, his shoulders convulsing as his
head thrashed wildly back and forth. He dared not kick, though. If he did, she
would never forgive him. “I’m sorry,” he started to chant out. “I’m sorry, I’m
so sorry, I’m sorry,please….”
The toothpick collected more wax. It was forced under his foreskin again.
Another cry. Another sob. Another plea for mercy. His hands flew to his head,
yanking on his hair in an attempt to divert his attention from the burning pain
of the fresh wax and the sickening stiffness of the hardened wax. “Please,” he
begged through sobs, through spit and snot and tears, “please, stop, please,
I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”
She pulled the binder clip off. He screamed again.
Another few seconds. She coated the whole head of his cock with wax, before
hurriedly pulling his foreskin up. He couldfeelthe skin ripping, and then
fusing together, and he let out another defeated whimper.
It was over. She doused the candle on the center of his chest, leaving an ashy
burn mark, before getting up and leaving. A forced “Clean yourself up and make
dinner” came from her lips as she shut the door.
He could hardly breathe, finally allowing himself to curl into a ball and sob
heavily. The still-drying wax made sure the pain never stopped throbbing
through his body.
It took him half an hour to rip off the outer coating of wax, and he hadn’t
even started to separate his foreskin. With each piece of wax that came off, he
let out another sob, his hand occasionally moving to his face to wipe of the
various liquids that wouldn’t stop coming. He couldn’t think. His head was
plagued with dizziness and pain.
Trying to force his foreskin away from the coated head of his cock was another
challenge entirely—he eventually resorted to yanking it away like a band aid,
except the pain was magnified tenfold, one hundredfold. He never truly stopped
whimpering as he peeled away the wax completely.
And then he dressed, and headed to the kitchen to make her dinner.
He was a slave, he realized at that moment.I am her slave. I’m just here to
cook for her, to clean for her, to provide her sexual pleasure.
And what was the use in trying to resist?
________________________
             
Matthew awoke. When he did, his hands couldn’t stop shaking, and he stumbled to
the bathroom, needing to see his own face.
He was terrified.
Suddenly, he stood before his mirror, his sunken face staring back at him. His
eyes were darting wildly over the place, his face coated with tear tracks and
saliva. His cheekbones were sharper than he remembered, the skin sticking
tightly to his bones.
“It’s okay,” he whispered to his reflection, his voice cracking. “It’s okay.
You’re okay. You’re home, with Sari, you’re fine. You’re okay. She’s gone.”
With shaky hands, he washed his face. Headed out of his bathroom and towards
Sari’s room. It was just a dream. If it was really just a dream, she’d be in
her bed. Sleeping.
When he opened the door, she did just that—she laid asleep in her bed, and his
heart finally settled. He returned to his own room.
He wanted someone else to be there. He needed someone to hold him.
No one was there.
He settled into a restless sleep half an hour later, still shaking.
***** Chapter 4.1: In Which Dominic Makes a Call *****
Chapter Summary
     A little chat helps Dominic clear his mind.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
It had been a success, Dominic thought as he closed the door behind Matthew. A
complete success.
Of course, that was aside from the fact that he discovered Matthew was abused.
And the fact that his daughter was a product of assault. And that he survived
being raped by a 40-something year old woman when he was only thirteen.
Matthew survived. For some reason, he survived being sexually abused by a
pedophile, and he survived so well that he became an excellent father.
Somehow, he loved him more.
He headed back to the sofa, noticing that some of Matthew’s stray tears had
soaked into the cushions, creating tiny dark patches. He sat back down where
they were, pulling out his phone and dialing Morgan.
“Hey, what’s up?” the man answered on the second ring, and Dominic suddenly
swallowed, not knowing what to say.
“Erm, so… Morg, I….”
“Spit it out, Dom. Something’s up.”
“Well,” he said slowly, “I had Matthew over for dinner.”
“Matthew?” Morgan asked, before correcting himself— “Wait, is that the guy from
the store?”
“Mm.”
“Shit, Dom, really? How?”
Dominic thought. “He lives near me, actually. I saw him at the store and
invited him over for, y’know, a neighborly dinner.”
Silence, then, “Good lord, you’re lucky. What’d you find out?”
“He’s single. Doesn’t have a girlfriend, doesn’t have a wife. Don’t know if
he’s gay yet. And… Morg?” Dominic’s voice changed, becoming dead serious in a
heartbeat. As he floated one hand up to scratch his scalp, he could almost hear
Morgan shifting.
“Yeah?”
“He, erm… he’s a victim.”
Pause. “Of?”
“He… Morg, this is really serious.”
“Tell me.”
“He got… raped.”
Silence. “So he is gay,” Morgan attempted to joke, but Dominic sighed heavily,
cutting him off.
“He was thirteen. She was forty-two.”
“…Shit.”
“Yeah. He said it lasted for something like seven years.”
“Shit.” Morgan sighed, and he could hear rustling on the other end. “He’s… Dom,
this isn’t a good idea.”
“I know,” Dominic rushed, “I know, but Christ, Morg, this was… I couldn’t even
describe it. He trusts me. I… You wouldn’t believe it.”
“Believe what?”
“We were eating, he called me into the living room and sat down nearish to me,
right?” Dominic recalled excitedly. “And he just told me. Like, out of nowhere.
I told him to tell someone and he… he started to cry, and I couldn’t help
myself so I just… took his head into my arms, Morg, and he cried against me and
it was heartbreaking to hear him tell me but he was so warm, Morg. I… He just
kept holding onto me as hard as he could and he wouldn’t let go. He’s thin,
really, really thin, and bony. But he’s so warm and his mannerisms, the way he
buried himself into my chest was just… it was like a cat, y’know, how they do
that thing where they push their head on you to try and get as close to you as
they can? He was doing that. Oh my god, Morg, I… he’s just….”
“You really are head over heels,” Morgan muttered. “Dom, though, this guy… if
he’s really gone through all he says he has, don’t you think he won’t want to
be in a relationship at all?”
Dominic thought for a second. That possibility hadn’t truly crossed his mind—or
it did, and he simply ignored it. “Yeah,” he eventually said quietly.
“And, you don’t know what he’s gone through. What kind of stuff might, y’know,
trigger a flashback or something. You don’t know any of that yet.”
“Yet,” Dominic emphasized. “He said he’d love to come over some other time, and
of course I accepted. He really likes me, Morg, I think. A-And I kissed him on
the cheek as he left.”
“Wait, really?”
“Yeah, and he didn’t seem to object. I just… his hair, it’s so soft and it’s
the perfect length and whenever he’s near me I just can’t fucking breathe
because he takes my breath away, literally. I can’t… Morgan, I’m in love. I’m
so far in love.”
Morgan sighed. “This isn’t a good idea, in my opinion. I’m not sure if this
will end well for you.”
“I know, but I can’t help it. He’s fucking beautiful and the fact that he
trusted me enough to tell me about, y’know, it just means so much. Even if we
can’t be together I don’t care, I just need to be near him and see him happy. I
need it, Morg.”
“Listen,” Morgan’s voice was firm over the phone. “I’m gonna support you on
this. But, Dom, the minute that you feel that it’s too much, if you can’t take
the fact that you’re going to have to be really slow and really careful with
him, get out. Just… get to know him as a friend first. Get to know more about
what happened to him and how he reacts to certain behaviors, and if it gets too
much, leave. I want you to be happy but I don’t want you to have to cater to
him. I want you to be able to be in a healthy relationship, and if he’s unable
to give you what you deserve, then he doesn’t deserve to have you, alright?”
“Okay,” Dominic affirmed. “Thanks, Morg.”
“Oh, and, Dom?”
“Yeah?”
“…Go for it.”
Dominic frowned a bit at the long pause, but didn’t say anything about it,
instead saying goodbye and hanging up. Morgan’s just looking out for me, he
assured himself. Nothing much.
He loved having such a close friend, one that always knew what to do.
And he was going to steal Matthew’s heart, no matter what it took.
Chapter End Notes
     Yes, yes, a shorter chapter, but two uploads in one day! I've got a
     couple more one-shots headed out to edit, and then here. This story
     is becoming a beast, and it's probably going to be split into two
     works--probably. As in, maybe. It does get dark later on, so,
     preliminary warning about that. There'll probably be another warning
     a few chapters before.
     Mandatory "check out my Dreamwidth."
     Thank you! You guys are the best.
***** Chapter 4.2: In Which Dominic Has a Night Out *****
Chapter Summary
     He doesn't expect to see Matthew there.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
The next time he encountered Matthew, he was at a pub, playing piano.
Dominic had only stopped in for a drink after work, maybe some chips, as it had
been a pretty tiring day. Shivering, he remembered the one woman who
continually tried to lure him home with her, only relenting after he’d said he
was gay. He decided he didn’t want to dwell on that thought when he started to
pay attention to the live music in the corner. He had to do a double take after
realizing that it was in fact Matthew who was playing, and it was gorgeous. The
man seemed to contain so much talent that he didn’t ordinarily show, and he
certainly never bragged about being a piano virtuoso before.
As soon as he had looked at the small man at the piano, he couldn’t look away.
He was shocked and elated at the fact that the man possessed more talent than
he let on initially, and every time Matthew would switch songs Dominic would
feel a certain warmth inside. He was beautiful.
A few songs in, Matthew took a break, moving off the stage and heading over to
the bar. “Matthew!” Dominic called, and the smaller man noticed and waved, his
expression instantly brightening.
“Hey,” Matthew said, sitting down on the stool next to Dominic. “How are you?
What’re you doing here?”
“Just came out for a drink,” Dominic confessed, only honestly in his voice. “I
had no idea you worked here. Never really payed attention to the music and
mostly focused on the beer.”
Matthew laughed, ordering a Blue Moon. “Really? I guess everyone does.”
“Yeah.”
“Huh,” Matthew said. “What’ve you been up to recently?”
“Nothing much,” Dominic replied. “You?”
“Same. Er, Sari’s doing really well in school, getting really high marks, and
I’m so proud of her for that, but that’s really it.”
“All good things,” Dominic grinned, taking a sip of his beer. “She seems like a
really smart girl.”
“For sure,” Matthew answered with certainty. “I’m so proud of her.”
“And she should be so proud of you!” Dominic laughed. “Your playing is
excellent. How did it get so good?”
Matthew sighed, still smiling gently. “Practice. I didn’t usually get to
practice when I was… y’know, but she had a piano and I’d take any moment I
wasn’t busy sitting at it and working. It payed off, I guess.”
“Certainly,” Dominic agreed. “You’re excellent.”
“Thank you.” Matthew thought for a second as he took a sip of his drink. “D’you
play any instruments?”
Dominic shook his head. “Just the drums. I’m not very good, though. And I can’t
really just play them whenever, y’know, and… and I’m left handed, so it’s
really difficult to find a kit at a store that’s set up that way.”
Understandingly, Matthew nodded.
A comfortable silence filled the air as the two drank and sat, enjoying each
other’s company. There was really no need for words, save for the occasional
small talk or question.
Eventually, Matthew announced that he had to go back to playing, and that his
shift would be over in a few hours. “Feel free to come up to the stage and
watch,” Matthew invited. “I’d probably play better if you were there, anyway.
No one ever really watches me, but it feels nice when they do.”
Dominic nodded, following Matthew up to the stage. He watched the brunet settle
on the bench, before resuming his playing. Between songs, he would give Dominic
a little nod, or a smile, or a friendly and small wave. He felt so warm inside,
from all the attention Matthew gave him, that he felt he would burst.
After a short while, Dominic pulled out his phone and called Morgan. “Come to
Sharky’s,” he told the man on the other line once he had picked up. “Matthew’s
here. He’s playing piano.”
“Be right over,” Morgan laughed quietly. “Not doing much else anyway.”
He was right—only a few minutes passed before Dominic spotted Morgan walking
through the door. Never taking his attention off Matthew, he greeted his
friend, pointing discreetly to the stage. “There he is,” he whispered, and
Morgan shot him a mischievous smile.
“Shit, Dom,” Morgan said with a low whistle. “You got yourself a looker. I
mean, I’m not gay, but if he asked I wouldn’t give a second thought.”
“Shut up!” Dominic laughed, hitting Morgan lightly on the shoulder. “I’m not
gonna bang him. Not yet, at least.”
This time, the laugh came from Morgan.
“Shh,” Dominic muttered, clapping as Matthew finished another song.
Clearing his throat, Matthew leaned over to a microphone positioned atop the
piano. “This next one’s for a good friend called Dom.”
A blush rose in Dominic’s cheeks as Matthew looked at him, Morgan hitting the
side of the blonde’s arm repeatedly. “That’s you!” he kept saying.
Matthew didn’t draw his face from the microphone. Instead, he leaned closer,
swallowed, and started to sing.
Holy fuck.
If every aspect of Matthew was beautiful, his voice was absolutely angelic. He
was flawless, and Dominic didn’t use that word often. Not only was he in tune
and time, but his voice was filled with a certain soul, a certain lilt that
made him shiver at every note.
“Good lord,” Morgan murmured next to him. “He’s brilliant.”
“No need to tell me,” Dominic whispered back, never moving his eyes from
Matthew’s form, his scarcely moving lips, the gentle tapping of his foot, the
small movements of his head and torso, the gentle brush of his fingers on the
keys of the piano.
The song was over before Dominic even knew what happened, and Matthew rose and
walked offstage, his shift apparently over. Dominic excitedly met him halfway,
pulling him into a gentle hug. The smaller man was warm—probably from nerves,
Dominic assumed, but he fit perfectly into his grip. It took only a second for
Matthew to reciprocate, his arms weaving around Dominic’s back.
“You did brilliantly,” Dominic whispered into Matthew’s hair. “Really. As soon
as you started singing I was blown away.”
Matthew’s hands gripped Dominic’s shirt, his head burrowing into Dominic’s
chest much in the same way he did the first time they hugged. “Thank you,” he
muttered.
Dominic pulled away when he heard Morgan approaching. At first, Matthew
appeared confused, but when he saw the stranger, he tensed up, causing Morgan
to let out a chuckle. “Hey,” he said. “I’m Morgan. Your playing was excellent.”
“Th-Thanks,” Matthew stuttered, causing another laugh to slip from Morgan’s
lips.
“I’m Morgan,” he introduced, putting his hand out for Matthew to shake. “Dom’s
friend.”
“Ah,” nodded Matthew in understanding, shaking Morgan’s hand. “I’m Matthew, n-
nice to meet you.”
Morgan replied, “Same here. Dom’s put in a few good words about you.”
Matthew only blushed.
“So, erm,” Dominic started, Morgan leaving to grab one last beer, “d’you wanna
come over my place? It isn’t too late, and I can order a pizza.”
Matthew blushed. “If you wouldn’t mind,” he murmured, and Dominic gave him a
wide smile. “Besides, Sari’s at my friend’s house for the night, so we won’t
have a repeat of what happened last time.”
Dominic laughed gently. “I don’t mind, really.”
The two said goodbye to Morgan, who flashed a discreet thumbs-up to Dominic,
before they left for Dominic’s house. The blonde didn’t ignore the fact that
they were touching almost the entire journey.
Chapter End Notes
     Another double upload today...? We'll see.
     Thank you for 400 hits.
***** Chapter 4.3: In Which Matthew and Dominic Confess *****
Chapter Summary
     They need to get something off their chests.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
The pizza had stuffed the two of them, and they sat together on Dominic’s
couch, watching Gordon Ramsey shout at a chef.
“He deserves it,” Matthew mumbled, pointing at the screen. “There was a rat in
his kitchen. A rat! Can you believe it?!”
Dominic just shook his head. “Lots of chefs on this show have rats, Matthew.”
“Yeah,” Matthew countered, “but they’re usually dead! This was a live rat!”
Only shrugging, Dominic changed the channel, causing Matthew to pout.
“Come on, Dom, put it back. I wanna watch Gordon deal with the rat man.”
The statement caused Dominic to giggle, eventually flipping back when he
realized that Gordon Ramsey yelling at rat-chef was, in fact, the most
interesting thing on.
As the episode ended, the network started playing the nightly programming,
which started with the broadcasting of some classical concert. Matthew seemed
equally as interested in it as he seemed to be with Kitchen Nightmares, and, as
Dominic moved to change it, Matthew batted at his hand.
“This is a good song,” he insisted.
Dominic just shook his head. “You’re weird.” He moved his arm to the top of the
sofa, snaking it over Matthew’s shoulders. He didn’t fail to notice the tiny
blush that blossomed on the smaller man’s cheeks.
Of course, he couldn’t resist leaning over and pressing a tender kiss to that
very cheek. He didn’t know what caused him to do it, besides the deep rumbling
in his chest that signaled hundreds of butterflies. But, at that moment, he
forgot about Matthew’s past, forgot about being careful, and just went for it.
For a split second, he let his inhibitions go and tried to show himself to
Matthew.
But only for a split second. He pulled away shortly after, analyzing Matthew’s
face for a reaction. He couldn’t determine what he saw—Matthew simply stared
straight ahead, his whole face noticeably redder. His eyes looked something
like apprehension, and so Dominic pulled away, never letting his own eyes leave
Matthew’s face.
“Matthew?” he asked softly.
“You care,” the brunet whispered to himself. “You… care.”
“I do,” affirmed Dominic.
“You care about me.”
“Yes.”
Matthew fell silent, his brow signaling that he was deep in thought. “You
care,” he kept muttering to himself, as if he couldn’t believe it. “How?”
Slightly taken aback, Dominic let out a nervous giggle. “How could I not?” he
replied. “You… you need someone to care.”
“But you’ve only just met me.”
“Yes,” Dominic said, shaking his head, “but that doesn’t matter. I just… I
know. I feel like… I don’t know what I feel like. I feel like I need to protect
you. I want to protect you. I want to hold you tight and shield you from
everything, from the world, from her. I want you to feel safe, Matthew. I need
you to, and I want to help you do that.”
Surprised by Dominic’s sudden burst of speech, Matthew turned to finally look
him in the eyes. “I…” he mumbled, confusion clouding his expression. “I don’t
understand.”
Of course he wouldn’t understand, Dominic thought. He’s never had this. He’s
never had someone care.
“Oh, Matthew,” he settled for saying instead. “Oh, I….” The words couldn’t come
out, so he settled for gently taking Matthew in his arms, holding him tightly
and leaning his head forwards on Matthew’s shoulder. “I care about you,
Matthew. I care so much about you. I… I do.”
One of Matthew’s hands floated to the back of Dominic’s neck, holding him
gently. “Dom…” Matthew started, leaning slightly into Dominic’s touch. “You…
you understand that I… I’m scared.” At this, Dominic’s heart sank, and he moved
to pull away. “No,” Matthew said firmly, the hand on the back of his neck
holding him in place. “No, I… I can’t tell. You have… an affection towards me.
I can’t tell if it’s love, if it’s just protectiveness, I can’t tell. But I’m
scared because I… I’ve never….”
Dominic could sense the tears, and he forced himself away from Matthew, pulling
his head to look at the trembling man before him. His hands moved to frame
Matthew’s face, gently stroking the exceedingly soft skin he met. “You don’t
have to,” Dominic stated simply. “You don’t have to do anything, Matthew. Tell
me, and I’ll stop. I’ll stop anything. I don’t want you to be scared, I want
you to be safe. I want you to feel safe, even if that means that I’m not in the
picture. I do have an affection for you, I… I can call it love. I do feel that,
but if you don’t, then I’m not going to force anything. I want to make sure
that nothing is forced on you again.”
A tear escaped Matthew’s rapidly blinking eyes, sliding down his cheek and
meeting with Dominic’s hand. “I…” he said softly, the single word cracking. “I
don’t understand what I feel. I… I want to be held by you. When… when I t-told
you about Gaia, you were so… kind, you were so kind with how you took it and
you actually c-cared, you didn’t run away like I thought you would. A-And I
like the warmth when you are holding me, I was… I felt myself craving it after
I l-left your house.” Slowly, a smile spread on Matthew’s lips. “I d-don’t know
if it was just the touch, if it was you, if it was that I’ve n-never been held
with that kind of… tenderness. I don’t know what love feels like, I don’t know
if I’m feeling it, but… I want to be with you more, Dom. I want you to hold me
like you h-held me before, I n-need you to, or I feel I might implode.”
And that was all it took for Dominic to start crying himself as he bundled
Matthew in his arms, cherishing the trembling warmth of the man under him. “You
are beautiful,” Dominic whispered with another kiss, this time to the top of
Matthew’s head. “You are so, so beautiful, and I promise I will hold you as
much as you want.”
He couldn’t believe that he was actually holding Matthew again, but this time
the younger had stated that he perhaps loved him back. He was unbelievably
proud that he still had the strength to even search, to even feel love, even
after it had fucked him over the last time.
The two stayed like that, crying with each other until Matthew eventually
pulled himself away to look Dominic in the eyes. “Thank you,” he said, with
such sincerity that Dominic felt he would burst.
The blonde couldn’t describe the emotions in his head—they were entirely just
MatthewMatthewMatthewHolyFuckMatthewHisEyesILoveHimMatthewLoveMatthewGorgeous
with no cohesive thought behind them. He was swirling with that kind of
butterfly feeling and he couldn’t believe that he was actually going to have a
chance with the most beautiful man in the world.
Only Matthew’s name fell from his lips, though, and he gently maneuvered the
smaller man so that he leaned on Dominic, his mop of spiky dark hair tickling
his neck slightly with each movement.
Dominic was in love.
And he felt that he wasn’t alone.
Chapter End Notes
     Nobody can understand the depth of my excitement to post this. This
     is the first time that I'm truly in love with something I've written.
     Thank you all so much for reading.
***** Chapter 5.1: In Which Matthew Thinks and Has His Third Dream *****
Chapter Summary
     She doesn't let up, even when he tries to push her away.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Matthew never thought he’d experience a sort of attraction to a man.
He never really had the chance to think, really—when he was thirteen, he’d had
his first real encounter, and he got swept away at fifteen, having a child only
two years later. He’d never thought about men. He’d never thought about anybody
except her.
But he knew. He knew when Dominic had kissed his cheek that first time, and he
had merely feigned ignorance. The second time, he knew for sure.
And he surprised himself by not being unwilling.
When he escaped, initially, he thought that he would never be able to commit to
anybody again. Nobody except Sari, at least. At that time, the thought of…
having to have sex ever again physically made him ill. Numerous times, he’d
woken up in a cold sweat just thinking about the act. Every time he got hard,
which was always not purposely, he’d ignore it or take a shower. He couldn’t
even think about the sensation of an orgasm, attaching the feeling to her. Even
foreplay, even kissing, even hugging, it all seemed… dirty. They all had
memories with her.
He had associated pleasure with her. He had associated pain with her.
Never did he think that he’d open up.
And, as he sat on that sofa, leaning comfortably against Dominic, he realized
that he wouldn’t be opposed to doing that more. He wouldn’t be opposed to the
blonde kissing his cheek more.
He knew Dominic wouldn’t be opposed to it, either.
So when their conversation ended in happy tears and cuddles, Matthew felt
content. He truly felt content, and he loved it. And they sat in mostly
silence, watching a classical concert, Matthew pointing things out about the
orchestration, Dominic’s hands stroking Matthew’s head.
Eventually, Matthew grew tired, and his head started to droop. “Matthew?”
Dominic asked, jerking him awake.
“Yes, ma’am?” he replied automatically, before shaking his head. “No, no, I,
er… yeah?”
“You wanna go to bed?”
The question was so casual, so much like something a boyfriend would say, that
Matthew shivered. “N-No,” he mumbled, but the gentle rumbling of a laugh told
that Dominic knew he was lying.
“Do you… want to stay here?” Dominic asked finally, with a kiss to Matthew’s
head. “You don’t have to, y’know, do anything. Just sleep. You can sleep in my
bed, I’ll take the co—”
“No,” Matthew muttered, pushing his head into Dominic’s side. “Wanna be with
you.”
“You sure?” Dominic asked again.
Deliriously, Matthew nodded, and Dominic gathered him up in his arms. “Come
on,” he whispered, turning off the TV and leading him to his bedroom. “I have
extra pajamas, if you want.”
Another nod from Matthew. Dominic handed him a pair of flannel pants and a
massively oversized Ghost t-shirt.
Too tired to think, Matthew stripped down to his boxers and only put the pants
on before collapsing in the bed. He didn’t even put the blankets on.
__________
Sorrow.
He tried everything from bargaining to pleading to crying to shouting, and
nothing was going to convince her. Nothing would.
“I want to keep it,” Matthew had said quietly, staring at the little rod in his
hands.
“What?” she had asked, and Matthew repeated himself. She merely scoffed. “No.
I’m getting an abortion in a few days.”
“No,” Matthew dared to say. “Please. I want to keep it.”
Her eyes turned from joking to cold. “Why? It’s more money for me.”
“I’ll work. I’ll pay for it.”
She thought for a second, before shaking her head. “You can’t leave the house.
You can’t work.”
“Please.”
“No.”
Back and forth, back and forth. He eventually was on his knees, his hands
clasped in front of him. He couldn’t stop begging. He wanted to keep the child.
He wanted something to care for, something that would care for him, maybe. He
needed it.
And she refused to give it to him.
The more he begged, the angrier she got.
She hit him.
He didn’t care.
“Please!”
Her hands snaked around his neck, dragging him up from the floor. He choked,
her thumbs pressing tightly into his throat. “Are you daring to go against my
word?” she asked, and he nodded once, twice.
“I…” he gasped, and she threw him to the ground.
“If you want this child, earn it. Get up.”
He did so.
“Strip.”
He did so.
“Sit on the chair in the kitchen. Face the back.”
He did. She tied his hands to the front, blindfolded him, gagged him. He was
immobile.
“One hundred. If you make a single noise, the baby dies.”
Matthew nodded.
The first hit of the stick against his back was a light burn. The tenth was
scorching.
Then she poured salt on it.
He almost screamed, but he caught himself, instead opting to arch his back and
bite down on the gag. The pain was overwhelming, throbbing through every inch
of his body as if he would burst.
She resumed without a pause. He wanted to scream, he wanted to scream, he
wanted toscreamscreamscreamscreamscreambut he couldn’t, or his unborn child
woulddie.
He bit down at the gag till twenty.
He started to thrash his head wildly from side to side at thirty, the tears
flowing freely from under the blindfold.
He could not unclench his muscles at forty, fifty, sixty. His back had gone
numb, but he could feel the blood trickling down.
Seventy. He had no control as he pissed himself, the hot liquid snaking down
his legs and onto the floor with a quiet dripping. He was too out of control to
care.
Eighty. The pain turned foreign, as if it happened to another body.
Ninety. He couldn’t breathe. His chest tightened with each heaving breath,
every movement falling on a wheeze.
One hundred. His entire body was trembling—no, convulsing—as spit and snot and
tears flowed freely from his face. His breaths were ragged, each one catching
on a silent sob. He was sweating, a thin coat shining on his bare skin, his
legs hot and sticky from the drying piss. He hurt everywhere, from his feet to
his legs to his ass to his arms to his neck to his head, and, most definitely,
in his back.
It felt bare. Stripped of the skin. The salt still tingled on the fresh wounds,
causing each movement of his to create another wave of that burning sensation
shoot through his body.
When she undid his binds, he fell forward, landing on the kitchen floor. He
almost grunted, but didn’t, despite the fresh explosion of a bruise forming on
his face from hitting the tile.
“I’m going to bed,” she announced. “You can keep the baby. You can cry.”
Matthew couldn’t stop shivering on the ground, not even long enough to be happy
that he won. Even when winning, he had lost. He was beyond noises, beyond
crying, his jaw hanging loose as he drooled onto the cold tiled floor.
Matthew was sixteen. At sixteen, he realized what true pain was. True pain was
being flogged so hard for so long that you could not feel your own skin, yet at
the same time everything throbbed. True pain was having no control over your
limbs as they trembled helplessly on the ground, causing that pain to magnify
tenfold. True pain was losing control of your face, of your emotions, letting
all tension go as every liquid imaginable flowed from all parts of your body.
True pain washell.
He fell asleep on the floor, wallowing in his own fluids.
Chapter End Notes
     I feel so bad hurting him.
***** Chapter 5.2: In Which Dominic Consoles Matthew *****
Chapter Summary
     Matthew is terrified for himself.
The first thing he realized when he woke up was that he was screaming.
Then, he didn’t know where he was.
His head scanned the unfamiliar room, searching out something he could ground
himself to.
He noticed Dominic, standing in the doorway, holding a glass of water. Dark
circles could be seen under his eyes in the dim lighting of a single small
lamp. The water threatened to spill over the edges as Dominic’s hands trembled.
“Matthew,” he whispered, staring at the man who was shivering on his bed.
Matthew stared right back, terrified.
“I…” he started, not knowing what to say. Dominic moved towards him, and he
flinched back reflexively.
“Sorry,” Dominic murmured, but Matthew shook his head, moving to get out of the
bed. At that moment, Dominic rushed over, placing the water on the nightstand
and bringing his hand a centimeter from touching the smaller man. “Can I?” he
asked gently as he sat on the side of the bed.
Matthew nodded as the tears came, nodded, sobbing, into Dominic’s shirt.
“I’m so sorry,” Dominic kept repeating. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“I w-woke you up,” Matthew stuttered, and Dominic shook his head.
“I want to help you,” he whispered, moving one of his hands down Matthew’s
back.
The younger man froze completely, causing Dominic to pull away and study him,
perhaps trying to find why he had frozen.
Studied his bare chest, with a hundred or so horizontal lines etched into the
skin. With only one nipple. With a thousand other scars.
It only took Matthew a second to realize what was happening, and he yanked the
blankets up over his chest. “Oh, no…” he whispered, realizing what he had done.
“Oh… no….”
“Matthew.” Dominic’s voice was soft, warm, inviting in away. His hand was still
resting on Matthew’s shoulder. “Is it okay if I look?”
Matthew shook his head as quickly as he could. “It’s… hideous,” he muttered.
“No. It’s you. It’s part of who you are. It can’t be hideous.”
“I’m… there’s hundreds,” Matthew countered weakly, but Dominic moved his hands
to the edge of the blanket.
He breathed heavily before continuing. “I care about you, Matthew. I really do
think that you are beautiful. This doesn’t change that at all. I still care. I
just feel… if I see, I can know more. You can tell me more without telling.
Just… I won’t force you, but please.”
Matthew’s grip weakened. “You’ll hate me.”
"I won’t. I promise.”
His hand fell off the blanket, allowing Dominic to pull it down. The hand that
rested on Matthew’s shoulder moved, ghosted over the marred flesh of Matthew’s
chest. Some of the scars looked as if they were on their way towards healing
fully, while others were so deep that Dominic could feel them as ridges under
his touch. His hand moved to the left side of Matthew’s chest, taking a moment
to explore his scratched sternum before his hands met the area where Matthew’s
left nipple would be. A reddish, round scar took its place, pushing inwards as
if it had been carved out.
He hates me, Matthew thought. He’s going to leave. He won’t be able to take it
and he’ll leave.
Matthew’s eyes seemed hurt when Dominic met them again. “I’m sorry,” he
breathed, but Dominic shook his head.
“You can’t be sorry. You did nothing.” Slowly, Dominic’s arms moved to wrap
around Matthew, and soon he held him again, and the younger man melted into his
touch. “You did nothing,” Dominic repeated.
A second passed where Matthew thought. It’s too good. He can’t be telling the
truth. He’s lying just to make me feel better. He’s disgusted.
But his thoughts were diverted as Dominic removed himself from Matthew, taking
the water from the nightstand and moving to fully sit cross-legged on his side
of the bed. Handing the water to Matthew, he asked, “What happened in your
dream?”
A sip. “Memories.”
Dominic nodded. “You scared me,” he eventually said, his tone much lower. “I
woke up and you were shivering, you kept whimpering and saying ‘stop.’ I tried
to wake you up but you were out, so I left to get you a water and while I was
in the kitchen you… started screaming, so I ran over and… you woke up. I
thought you were dying, Matthew.”
“I’m sorry,” Matthew croaked out. He really does hate me. He can’t take it.
“No, don’t apologize. It isn’t your fault, but… what did she even do to you?
You don’t have to answer, but… to get that kind of scream to come from a
person… it must’ve been torture. If anything, I’m so sorry for you. I can’t
believe… you’re still here after that. It must’ve been so, so awful. And I’m so
sorry for that.”
“If you make a single noise, the baby dies,” she had growled.
Matthew shook his head, trying to fling the thought away. “No, no, no….” he
said to himself, slapping a hand to his forehead. “No!”
Dominic pulled at his wrist, trying to get his hand away, but Matthew didn’t
register that it was him. He went limp. His eyes sank to the ground, losing all
focus. He nearly dropped the water, until Dominic took it from his hand.
“Matthew?” he asked, but the brunet did not answer.
Dared not answer.
The hand let go of his wrist, and two fingers moved to under his chin, guiding
him to look at Dominic. When their eyes met, Matthew could tell that Dominic
knew he had made a mistake.
“I’m so sorry, darling,” he whispered hoarsely, and Matthew pulled his eyes
away. Dominic let him go, placing the glass on the nightstand and pulling the
blankets up. As Matthew laid down, Dominic tucked him in—a childish gesture
that Matthew felt he adored. “Goodnight,” Dominic whispered, patting the
smaller man’s shoulder.
Matthew turned around in the blankets to face the blonde, moving closer so that
they touched. Almost reflexively, Matthew felt Dominic wrap his arms around
him.
“Goodnight,” Matthew whispered into Dominic’s shirt.
***** Chapter 5.3: In Which They Chat *****
Chapter Summary
     And discuss the events of the night previous, among other things.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Only a few hours passed before Matthew woke up, alone again. “Dom?” he asked
with a hoarse voice, but no one answered.
He pulled himself out of the blankets, slipping on the Ghost t-shirt that
Dominic had given him the night before. After a yawn and a stretch, he started
on his way to the kitchen, almost forgetting how to get there in his haze of
drowsiness.
Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he reached the kitchen. Dominic stood at the
stove, focusing intently on cooking something. “Hi,” Matthew mumbled, causing
the older man to turn around.
“Hi,” he smiled, causing one to form on Matthew’s lips. “You feeling better?”
Matthew nodded as Dominic turned back to the stove. “I’m making pancakes, if
you want to stay for breakfast.”
Another nod. Breakfast sounded good right about now, to take his mind off
things. Take his mind off the conversation of the previous night.
Matthew sat at a table just out of the kitchen, which seemed to be where he was
supposed to eat. It only took a few minutes for Dominic to serve the pancakes
onto a large serving plate, and then onto their separate smaller ones.
“These are so good,” Matthew complimented with a full mouth.
Dominic sighed. “Y’know,” he breathed in between bites, “that shirt. It’s… it’s
really big on you, it… makes you look cute. Soft.”
Matthew didn’t know he could feel so warm. “W-What?” he asked, and a rosebush
flooded across the blonde’s face.
“N-Nothing, I just… you look soft, with your hair all mussed, a-and you’re
still rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. And w-with the pancakes, the… the way
you hold your fork, and… it’s almost childlike in a way, a-and…” Dominic
coughed. “A-Affection,” he mumbled.
It was Matthew’s turn to blush. Setting his fork down on the table, he folded
his hands in his lap.
“Dom. I.... The affection you feel… w-would you say…?”
“Yeah?” Dominic asked.
“Is it love?”
Dominic stayed silent.
“Do you… love me?”
Matthew could see the gears in Dominic’s head whirring. “I… It isn’t….” He
started again. “I don’t know if it’s love, yet. I do care for you. I care so
much about your safety and your happiness. I care. But… it’s too early for
love. A-And love means commitment, and t-trust, and… and I c-can’t…. I feel
like, if I told you I loved you, y-you’d pressure yourself into some sort of s-
spiral you wouldn’t want. B-But I care for you so much, a-and I don’t know… I
want to express It more, but… I care about you. I… do.”
A nod. Dominic grinned lightly, and Matthew reciprocated, picking up his fork
again.
Well, Matthew thought, I think I’m falling for you. I have no idea how, but I
think I am. I’m noticing more and more about you and I’m realizing that I want
to be with you as much as I can. And it’s kind of scary.
Glancing at the clock on Dominic’s oven, Matthew realized that he should start
heading out for work. He stood, moving to place his plates in the sink. “Erm,
thank you, Dom,” he said over the clatter, “for everything, really. Thank you.”
“It’s nothing,” Dominic gently replied. “Anytime you wanna come by, you can.
I’m usually here after work. And, who knows, maybe I’ll see you at your pub
again.”
Matthew giggled. “Yeah, maybe. Oh, do you want your pajamas back?”
Dominic shook his head with a smile. “No, you can keep them. Bring them if you
stay over again, if you want. Sari is always welcome, too.”
At mention of his daughter’s name, Matthew frowned. “I still have to pick her
up,” he muttered to himself. “A-And I don’t know if she’ll get upset again.”
“Don’t worry, I don’t mind. And you should probably go, then,” answered
Dominic, heading to the entryway.
The two met near the door, and Dominic was about to open it when Matthew snaked
his arms around the blonde’s torso. The laugh that Dominic let out was warm as
he reciprocated, resting his head on Matthew’s shoulder. “C-Can I kiss your
cheek again?” the blonde asked, and Matthew nodded, pulling back to allow
Dominic to do so.
Once again, Dominic’s lips were cold, but they still managed to bring warmth to
Matthew for the time that they connected with his skin.
“Bye, Dom,” Matthew said when Dominic pulled away. “Thank you.”
“Bye, Matthew,” the blonde grinned as Matthew made his way out the door and
down the street.
For the second time, Matthew’s hand floated up to the side of his face to touch
the tender skin that Dominic had kissed, trying to keep the memory of it as
long as possible.
Yeah, he was falling.
Chapter End Notes
     Short! But double upload.
***** Chapter 5.4: In Which Matthew Confronts Chris *****
Chapter Summary
     The two have a chat. It gets angry.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“Daddy!” Sari exclaimed when Matthew walked into Chris’s house. She ran towards
him. “I missed you, Daddy!”
“I missed you too, baby,” Matthew said, pulling her into a hug. “Where’s Uncle
Chris?”
“Over there,” she said, pointing towards the kitchen.
Matthew rose, gesturing to the TV that was playing cartoons in the living room.
“Go watch something, darling, Daddy has to talk to Uncle Chris.”
“Okay,” she replied, running over to where Ava and Alfie were sitting.
Matthew walked into the kitchen, looking around for a second until he spotted
Chris, leaning over and looking at the oven. “Hey, Matt,” he said, not
bothering to turn around as he inspected the appliance.
Bluntly, Matthew stuttered, “How can you tell if you’re falling in love?”
That caused Chris to whip around, staring right at Matthew. “What?”
“I’m… I think I’m falling in love, but… I don’t know.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” Matthew said, shuffling his feet. “I… I get really happy and I want to,
y’know, spend time with them, is that… love?”
Chris shook his head. “You… you’re feeling? Like, romantically feeling for
someone?”
Matthew nodded.
“You’re willing to let yourself feel?”
Nod.
“Well, shit,” Chris said, covering a hand with his mouth. “Is that… is that
what you want? Even… y’know.”
“Yeah.”
Swallowing, Chris sat down on a stool near the counter. “I mean, alright. It
seems like you’ve got some feelings towards her. Like, romantic attraction. A-
And, y’know, it might be healthy for Sari, y’know, to be exposed to a h-healthy
female figure, one who she can treat like a mother, as opposed to her.”
Matthew stared down at the floor, blushing.
“What?” Chris asked, realizing something was wrong. “Matt, what is it?”
“It’s…” Matthew started, kicking lightly at the ground. “Nothing.”
“Tell me.”
A swallow. “Chris, you’re gonna hate m—”
“I couldn’t, Matt. I couldn’t hate you. What’s wrong?”
Matthew mumbled, and Chris asked him to speak up.
“I-It’s a guy.”
Pause. Silence.
“Are you gay, Matt?”
“No!” Matthew shouted, startling himself. “N-No, I’m not gay, I just… I don’t
know. I like him a lot. A-And we… I went over to his house last night.”
Chris stood. Approached Matthew. Rested a hand on his shoulder. “Did you stay?”
“Yeah.”
Chris bowed his head. “He fucking…” the taller man’s voice broke. “He did it to
you. He did what she did and—”
“No, no,” Matthew interjected. “No, we didn’t… we didn’t do anything. We just
sat together, had a pizza, watched some TV, shared a bed. That’s it. He made
pancakes this morning. Kissed me on the cheek when I left.”
“…Does he know?”
“Yes.”
“About her and everything she did?”
“Yes. I told him most of it.”
“What do you mean most of it?”
“Y’know, just… the basics.”
“Basics?”
Matthew let out a sharp breath, tired of Chris asking questions. And he was—he
just wanted advice about how he’d know he was falling in love. Chris was
married. He was happy with a wife and kids. Matthew wanted that, but he didn’t
know how. “Okay, Chris, I told him that I was raped for nine years when I was
kept prisoner inside a house I never left,” Matthew snarled. “I told him that
my virginity was stolen when I was thirteen by a woman who was forty-two. I
told him that I was fucking tortured for every day of my life after that, and
that my own fucking daughter had to live with hearing me scream and cry every
single fucking day, so much so that she’s probably got PTSD at five years old!
But no, Chris, I left out the very specific details, if you must know—I left
out the details of her branding my thigh and gluing my fucking eyes shut, if
you must fucking know. I left out the, oh, tiny details like the description of
every fucking nightmare I’ve had since then of her raping my child and killing
her, the details of how she waterboarded me and tried to pull my fucking legs
out at the end!”
“Matt—” Chris started, but Matthew would hear none of it.
“Stop asking me questions, Chris. I came here for advice and you act like the
fucking Spanish Inquisition.”
“Listen to me, you pillock,” the taller man shouted over Matthew. “I want to
help you, for fuck’s sake. I want to help you. I need to know what you’ve told
him, though, I need to know if you trust him!”
Matthew sank to his knees on the floor, burying his face in his hands. “I’m so…
frustrated, Chris, I don’t know what to feel anymore! I don’t….”
A hand moved onto his shoulder, causing him to flinch, but the hand was
followed by a warm body that completely covered him. “It’s okay to be
confused,” Chris whispered into his ear. “If anything, I’m surprised you aren’t
more so. You’ve been through so much, Matt, you’ve been through more pain in
your youth than people have gone through in their whole lives. And you’re still
willing to overcome it, and… it’s okay to be frustrated. You were never
experienced to love or even a crush, probably, and definitely not on another
man. It’s okay to be confused or frustrated. It’s okay, Matt.”
“Do you… think she turned me gay?”
Chris chuckled, the deep sound running through Matthew’s body. “No, Matt. You
can’t just be turned gay. Maybe you’re bi. Besides, way back when in school,
you did seem a little… queer.”
“Oi!” Matthew pushed Chris off him with a laugh. “You sayin’ you knew?”
“Maybe,” Chris dragged out, and Matthew laughed even harder.
A beep from the oven signaled that Chris needed to take out whatever was
cooking, and it turned out to be a batch of brownies. “You can have one later,
if you want.”
“No, I should be heading out to work. I’ll see you after, yeah?”
Chris nodded, taking the oven mitts off and embracing Matthew. “Bye, Matt. See
you.”
“See you, Chris.” Matthew headed back to the living room, where Sari was
already waiting with her shoes on. “Ready?” he asked her, and she nodded.
“Come on, Daddy,” she urged, taking his hand and pulling him to the door. “I
wanna see your work!”
“Alright, alright,” Matthew replied with mock exasperation. “Bye, Alfie and
Ava!” he called back to the living room.
“Bye, Uncle Matt,” the two chorused, not taking their eyes off the TV.
Matthew headed off to the flower shop, Sari never letting go of his hand. “So,
Daddy,” she asked, stepping on each sidewalk crack, “where’d you go yesterday?”
“Oh,” Matthew muttered, “I went back to Dominic’s house.”
“Without me?” she asked, seeming hurt.
Shaking his head, Matthew rushed, “No, no, Sari, I just wanted some alone time
with him to talk about stuff, like how I talk with Uncle Chris about stuff
alone.”
She shrugged. “Why can’t I go?”
“Darling, you can come next time, okay? As long as you don’t hurt him again,
you can go.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Sari giggled, and Matthew smiled in response. A bubbling came up in his chest,
one that was similar in a way to the feeling he got when he was around Dominic,
but was yet different. He knew this type of love, the familial connection
something he’d always experienced whenever he’d seen his daughter happy. Still,
it reminded him of the feeling he got when he was with Dominic, that urge to
just squeeze Sari in a hug so strong that he felt he would burst. So he did so,
reaching down and swinging her up to hold her in his arms. “Daddy!” she cackled
wildly, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Sari, I love you so much,” he told her.
“I love you too, Daddy,” came the response. Matthew shifted her so she sat on
his hip as they continued down the street. “You’re awful warm,” she noted, and
he nodded.
“Yeah, I’m just happy.”
Chapter End Notes
     So sorry for the gap in updating!
***** Chapter 6.1: In Which Dominic Can't Keep His Hands Off Himself *****
Chapter Summary
     He needs a break.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Why did he lie?
Because you’re afraid, a voice in his head said. You’re afraid that you’re
going to hurt him. Just like you hurt—
“Argh!” Dominic exclaimed as the knife slipped from his hand, slicing his
finger. He dropped the carrot he was cutting onto the floor as he rushed to put
his finger in his mouth, scowling at the knife.
—Drew.
He didn’t want to think about Drew. He was gone, now, there was nothing he
could do. After all, it wasn’t his fault that the bastard decided to….
Dominic shivered, fishing a band-aid out of one of his kitchen drawers. Bad
memories.
But that wasn’t why he lied. He lied because he wanted to protect Matthew. He
did love him. In fact, he adored the man, so much so that he’d willingly put
himself in danger if it meant protecting him. Yet, Matthew had asked for the
truth, and he had fed him a lie.
It wasn’t really a lie. It was more of not saying the whole truth.
Which is a lie.
Dominic needed a distraction. His mind kept wandering to why he didn’t tell
Matthew he loved him, and he couldn’t deal with that question now. After
wrapping a band-aid around his finger, he headed over to his bedroom.
This is so weird, he said to himself as he pulled his shirt off and flopped
onto the bed. His hands moved to the second pillow, drawing it towards him and
then placing it over his head.
Matthew’s scent still lingered on it.
You’re such a creep.
That… smell, the smell of baby powder and cherry trees, it completely engulfed
him, and he felt as if Matthew was surrounding him on all sides. “Fuck,” he
breathed, taking the pillow off his face and instead placing it under his head.
Lifting his hips, he pulled down his flannel pants and boxers in one go.
Because he couldn’t lie to himself anymore. He loved Matthew, he loved him to
the ends of the earth, but he also craved him. At times, he found himself
licking his lips at the thought of the brunet kneeling down, slipping his pants
down and tenderly prodding his tongue at the tip of his cock. Or, Matthew would
turn around and Dominic would almost let out a moan with how tightly those
jeans he wore teasingly hugged and accentuated his ass. Sometimes, Matthew
would get this expression on his face whenever he saw something he liked, one
that Dominic wondered if he got when he came. He wondered about the noises the
smaller man made when he reached that climax, how his face would contort when
he slipped over that edge.
Dominic wanted to fuck him.
And, at the same time, he wasn’t opposed to being fucked by him. Ordinarily, he
didn’t like the thought of something up his arse—he was just a top, usually,
and didn’t ever think about being taken. But if it was at the hands of Matthew,
he was sure he’d happily get down on all fours and stick his arse out and beg
to get filled.
The blonde let out a gentle moan as his left hand slipped down to touch his
already-hard cock. A single finger circled around the head, teasing the slit,
before he moved it down over a prominent vein. His mewls got louder as his hand
wrapped around his cock, tugging gently.
He imagined his fingers were Matthew’s, slowly working him off as he tried as
hard as he could to stay still on the bed. He imagined the warmth of Matthew’s
body nestled between his legs, the brunet’s other hand venturing shyly to
stroke his balls.
Dominic’s hand mimicked his thoughts, his right hand moving down to cup them.
He cried out at the extra simulation, his eyes squeezing shut.
He rubbed himself like that for a few minutes, making sure to keep his wrapped-
up finger off so it wouldn’t chafe, before lifting his right hand to his mouth
to lick at his fingers. He imagined them as Matthew’s as his tongue coated each
one with saliva, then trailing them down to his entrance.
When he slipped the first the two fingers in, he couldn’t help but shout,
flipping over on the mattress and burying his face into the pillow that had
rested under his head.
It still smells of Matthew, he thought as he pushed a third and then fourth
finger in, then thrusting them inside his core. His mind lingered on the
thought of the tiny brunet curiously scissoring his fingers about and whined
when he brushed against his prostate. In time with the thrusting of his
fingers, Dominic rubbed his front against the mattress. The stimulation was so
good, surges of pleasure shooting through his body with each rocking motion.
He imagined Matthew draped over his body, pressing gentle kisses to his
shoulder blades as he lazily thrusted into him, occasionally rolling his hips
and grinding against him to draw out more bliss from the friction. He imagined
those long fingers moving to rub against his nipples, pulling at the little
nubs as he lightly licked the skin on his neck. He imagined the faint breaths
of Matthew as he drew close, his mouth closing around Dominic’s pulse point and
sucking as his motions sped up slightly.
He couldn’t help himself as he slid his hand off his dick and from under his
body, moving it to take the pillow under his front and slide it down towards
the junction of his legs. His face planted into the mattress as he moaned at
the feeling of rocking against the pillow. It was so fucking good, and the
thought that Matthew’s head had been there not hours before had his head
whirling.
Freak.
His head flipped to an alternate scenario, one where he fingered himself as he
slowly worked his cock into Matthew, the brunet whimpering with each thrust
into him. He imagined pulling out to work his cock against the crevice of
Matthew’s arse, slowly humping the cleft as Matthew begged for him to enter him
again.
Dominic came over his fist and the pillow with a whimper and a press of his
prostate at the thought of spilling inside of Matthew, at the thought of them
whispering each other’s names with tenderness as they shared a feeling of pure
ecstasy. He inhaled the still-faintly-there scent of Matthew on the mattress,
his head rolling to the side as he opened his eyes. Slipping his fingers out of
himself, Dominic breathed in and out heavily, not bothering to clean up the
spilled seed that was seeping into his sheets as his head whirled.
None of that would ever happen. Matthew had a history, Dominic thought, and
he’s probably never going to try to have sex again.
The revelation was bittersweet. If, by some miracle, he did manage to have a
relationship with Matthew, he’d get everything except sex. Which was both good
and bad.
Dominic couldn’t think, though, and, still riding his post-orgasm haze, his
eyes drifted shut and he fell asleep.
Chapter End Notes
     Be wary.
***** Chapter 6.2: In Which Dominic Feels Faint *****
Chapter Summary
     Sick.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
The next day, Dominic almost vomited at work.
It seemed like another boring day, another eight hours of standing and smiling
and walking and helping and standing and smiling. Seemed like it.
A somewhat familiar face walked through the door, an older woman holding an
expensive purse and wearing a jacket that was much to fancy to come through the
doors of his department store. Something about her irked Dominic, reminded him
of someone he knew. Maybe an old girlfriend.
She took a minute to study his nametag, look through the little flag stickers
on it that signaled which languages he spoke, and she smiled when her eyes
landed on one. “Ciao, come stai?” she asked in Italian, and Dominic gave her a
soft smile.
“Sto bene, grazie,” he replied. “Hai bisogno di aiuto?”
She shook her head, which Dominic found odd, before walking away from him and
towards the racks of clothing in the back.
As he turned to look at her, he realized where he had seen her face before. He
paled instantly at the revelation.
It was her.
Gaia.
Sari’s mother.
Matthew’s rapist.
Dominic’s stomach lurched, and he had to cover his mouth as his head whirled.
He wanted to pull out his phone and call Matthew, tell him to take Sari and
hide, but Matthew didn’t have a phone and he had no way of getting in contact
with him. He had no way of knowing where he was, either—he didn’t know if he
was home or at work.
Quickly, he glanced at the clock over the door. Seven pm. He was probably at
the pub, if he remembered correctly.
He headed over to the staff room, his eyes never leaving Gaia’s form. When he
reached the room, he hastily took off his vest and handed it to Jenna, one of
his managers. “I’m leaving early, darling,” he said, his eyes still on the
door.
“Okay…” she said quietly. “Everything alright, Dom?”
“Y-Yeah, er, family stuff. My boyfriend’s having a bit of an issue,” he rushed
out, not realizing his error.
“Alright, take care.” She took his vest and he almost ran back out, spotting
Gaia leaving the store. He hurriedly followed after her, making sure to keep
his distance as she made her way down the road.
No.
She made her way to the pub. With each passing minute, she walked faster, with
more urgency, as if she knew Matthew’s shift was ending soon.
They were five minutes away, and Dominic knew that nobody would be able to come
and help him. Morgan was far. He didn’t know any of Matthew’s friends.
He had to do it alone.
She stolled into the pub, and he waited until a few minutes after to follow.
The atmosphere was warm, and, much like the last time he was here, Matthew sat
in the corner, making the place comfortable with music.
Dominic checked his phone. Seven thirty. Matthew would get off any minute. He
moved closer to the piano, ready to grab him when he got down.
Matthew saw him and shot him a friendly smile, one Dominic couldn’t force
himself to reciprocate. At this, Dominic could tell Matthew knew something was
wrong. He quickly finished his song, and with a quick “Thank you” into the mic
before him, he stepped off the bench and headed towards Dominic. “Hey,” he
whispered, but the blonde couldn’t think straight. He said nothing back.
“What’s wrong?”
Still, he said nothing, just pulling Matthew into a fierce hug. Cautiously,
Matthew hugged him back, which snapped Dominic out of his panic-induced state,
and he spoke quickly into the brunet’s ear. “I saw her. She came into my shop
and I recognized her instantly.”
“What?” Matthew started, but Dominic just held him closer and never stopped
talking.
“She’s here right now. She went here right from the store. She looked like she
was trying to take you, and I can’t have that happen, Matthew. I’m not going to
let you get taken by her. I’m here to protect you. Where is Sari right now?” He
knew that would be on the forefront of Matthew’s mind, so he rushed out the
question.
“She’s at home, alone,” Matthew whispered, his voice on the verge of breaking.
“We’re going to go there. I’m going to take you home, and then I’m going to
stay with you, or you can come over to my house. We need to get to Sari first,
though, okay? We’ll take a cab. I’ll pay. We need to go, now.” Matthew was
shaking as Dominic pulled away, taking his hand. “I’m not going to leave your
side,” he promised.
Matthew nodded, and Dominic led him out of the bar.
He caught a glimpse of Gaia out of the corner of his eye as they pushed open
the doors and headed to the main street.
She looked like rage.
Chapter End Notes
     Apologies in advance for formatting issues. I'm updating for the
     first time from my phone.
***** Chapter 6.3: In Which Dominic Confronts *****
Chapter Summary
     Dominic's fucking pissed.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Dominic thanked God for streetlights as they hurried down the road, hand in
hand. They had been unable to find a taxi, and so resorted to walking towards
the nearest tube station to try and get to Pimlico. The entire time, Matthew
didn’t stop trembling, and Dominic had to keep whispering words of reassurance
to him. He’d squeeze his hands every few seconds to remind him that he was
there, and he wouldn’t be leaving.
Never before had he felt such strong emotions. Such strong hatred and anger
towards one person, but also such caution and love towards another.
At one point, he glanced behind him and saw her, about thirty meters back. He
walked quicker.
Eventually, they were on the train, headed towards Matthew’s house. It was only
when they knew that she wasn’t in the same car that Matthew dared to speak,
sitting on one of the benches. Dominic took the seat next to him.
“Dom,” he said simply.
“It’s okay,” Dominic replied, reaching his arms up to frame Matthew’s face. He
let his fingers weave their way through tufts of Matthew’s hair as he consoled
him. “It’s okay. We’re almost home. We’ll get Sari, and then we’ll see what to
do from there, yeah?”
A tear finally fell from Matthew’s eye. “I’m s-so scared,” he whispered, his
voice absolutely breaking Dominic.
“No, darling, don’t worry, we’ll be okay.”
“I-I don’t want Sari to get h-hurt,” stuttered Matthew, his eyes falling from
Dominic’s face to the floor of the subway. “She… she said she never wanted to
see her mother again. I promised, Dom… I p-promised she was gone….”
At Matthew’s sobs, Dominic took him into his arms. “Don’t worry, darling. It’s
going to be okay. She won’t have to see her at all. We’re almost there.”
They sat in silence, apart from Matthew softly weeping, until the train
announced their station. Dominic pulled Matthew to his feet and they
practically ran out of the train and up the stairs.
Where they were met with Gaia.
Dominic had no idea how she had gotten there, but he wasted no time yanking
Matthew’s arm and shouting, “Run!”
The two sprinted towards Matthew’s house, the brunet fishing the keys out of
his pocket and passing them off to Dominic as they neared the door, since the
blonde’s hands would be steadier. “Hurry!” Matthew shouted as Dominic fitted
the keys into the lock. He finally pushed the door open and quickly locked it
behind them, panting heavily as they heard her footsteps approach.
They turned on the light to see Sari, confused as to why they were panting.
“What’s wrong?” she asked softly, and Dominic shook his head.
“Mummy’s here,” Matthew almost cried, and Sari’s eyes widened.
“Oh, no,” she whispered. “Should I go to my room?”
“No, Sari, stay with Daddy,” Matthew whispered, gathering his daughter into his
arms. “Stay very quiet, baby, don’t make any noise, okay? Just stay with
Daddy.”
Sari nodded. Matthew pressed a kiss to her forehead.
There was a knock at the door.
Nobody moved.
“Matthew!” a voice shouted from outside. Matthew flinched, edging away from the
entryway. “Come here, Matthew.” The tone was commanding and aggressive, and one
that Dominic could tell was not a good sign. Another knock, except it was more
of a pound.
“Get out!” Dominic yelled through the door, waving his hand to get Matthew away
from the door. The smaller man obliged and ran backwards, presumably towards
his room. “Get out, or I’m calling the police.”
“Who are you?” Gaia asked through the door, and Dominic started to shiver with
rage.
“I’m his boyfriend. Get out!”
“I want to see my daughter.”
“You forfeited that right when you raped her father.”
Dominic heard a laugh, if he wasn’t mistaken. “So you’re just going to let him
tell you that?” she said. “I’m assuming he did not tell you that I gave him a
house for years. How I fed and clothed him.”
“No, you fucking idiot, because that doesn’t matter when you torture someone
daily!”
“He was an ungrateful little thing. I’m guessing he’s never going to come back
to the one who really and truly loves him, just settling for some blonde
fairy.”
Dominic was baffled by her stupidity. “Of course he won’t come back to you, you
sadistic, abusive, fucking whore! You’re not supposed to control someone like
that! You have no right, no right at all to him or anyone associated with him.
Sari is not yours. She is not your child. She is Matthew’s and no one else’s!
Especially not you, who tried to fucking kill him!”
“He started it when he began to misbehave,” she defended.
“Then you should have left! How hard would it have been for you to pick up your
lazy ass and just left, and not ruined so many people’s lives?! Because what
you did had not only an effect on him, but on everyone he was friends with. He
was a fucking child, Gaia, he was a thirteen-year-old boy and scared, he was
always scared! Don’t you understand that?! Do you really think it’s necessary
for someone to live in fear every second of their life at age thirteen?!”
“You don’t understand. I did so much for him. I cared for him and only asked
for a few things in return that he failed to give willingly.”
“Christ, you sound like the bloody Devil! What did he not give you that you so
desperately needed?!”
“I asked him to have sex with me a few times, as healthy couples do, and when
he said no, that I was being too rough, well, steps had to be taken.”
“Like tying him to the bed so tight that his circulation was cut off and then
cutting him with a razorblade every time he made a noise?! And… And, you were
not a couple. He was a child below the age of consent who you were raping.
That’s not a relationship. That’s pedophilia.”
“It taught him well.”
“People aren’t dogs, Gaia, they don’t need to be trained! Where are you getting
these ideas?!”
“It’s the truth, because apparently it works.” Dominic heard her snicker, and
his face started to get hot from the rage coursing through his veins. “I bet
that cowardly little animal doesn’t have anyone else in his insignificant
little life other than you and his retarded Christopher, and my daughter.”
“That’s none of your fucking business.”
“Really? Is it now? Because the last time I checked, I owned him. He belongs to
me.”
“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t.”
“All those little marks on his skin? Those are mine. The way he’ll listen to
anything I say, the way he’ll obey me unconditionally, the way he’ll positively
quiver under my touch, he’s mine.”
Dominic actually growled. “Get the fuck away from my house right now.”
A scoff. “Tell that bitch to watch his back. I’m going to take back what’s
mine.”
Footsteps clicked away from the door.
After a shout for good measure, Dominic rushed to Matthew’s room.
Chapter End Notes
     I hate leaving cliffhangers, so here you go. Thanks for 600 hits.
***** Chapter 7.1: In Which They Take a Step *****
Chapter Summary
     Dominic might know a way to relax the brunet.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Matthew couldn’t stop shushing Sari. She’d be completely silent, and yet he
still felt the need to stroke her hair and whisper, “Shh, it’s okay.”
“Daddy,” she whispered. “I’m not sayin’ anything.”
“It’s okay,” he only said again. “It’s okay, Sari, Daddy’s got you.”
The little girl clung onto Matthew’s neck as if he were dying. “I’m not gonna
leave you, Daddy,” she told him, and he held her closer. “I love you.”
“I love you to, Sari, baby, I’m so sorry,” Matthew stuttered, refusing to let
the tears fall. He always wanted to stay strong for her. He never wanted her to
see him cry, because then she’d lose hope.
Hope was all he could give her.
Downstairs, he heard arguing. Dominic screamed at Gaia through the door, never
opening it. He swore, he shouted, he raged at her, and while Matthew couldn’t
hear her, he was sure she kept her calm. She always did.
Somehow, the scars on Matthew’s back tingled.
He held Sari’s body closer, shivering at the thought of Gaia forcing her away
from him. At the thought of his little baby screaming for Daddy to help her,
please, take her away from her mother. At the thought of Gaia doing exactly
what she did to him, to his little girl.
He shivered.
Shivered.
Sari hugged him more.
“Shh,” he whispered again, stroking her hair. “It’s okay, darling. Daddy’s
here. Daddy’s here. I’m not gonna let Mummy take you.”
Sari nodded.
Matthew heard a roar from downstairs and footsteps quickly approached their
room. He clutched onto Sari’s body, bracing for a hit, when he instead heard
the footsteps stop and a soft and gentle voice ask, “Matthew?”
It was Dominic.
“Matthew, she’s gone. You’re okay.”
The brunet dared to look, and sure enough he saw Dominic standing in the
doorway, alone, his hair sticking up in many places.
“She’s… gone?” Matthew asked, and Dominic nodded.
Sari pulled away from Matthew and fell backwards on the bed. “Are we safe,
Daddy?” she asked, and Matthew gave her a weak smile.
“Yeah, baby. She’s gone.”
Matthew felt the bed dip before Dominic’s arms wrapped around Matthew’s chest,
his front flush with the smaller man’s back. “I’ll stay tonight?” Dominic
asked, and Matthew nodded, moving his hands to line up with the blonde’s.
“We can all sleep here tonight,” Matthew murmured, leaning his head back to lay
it in the crook of Dominic’s neck.
Sari got up from where she was and crawled so that she was sitting on Matthew’s
lap. “I’m gonna go put my pajamas on, Daddy,” she said with a kiss to his nose.
“Okay, sweetheart,” Matthew replied, and the little girl climbed off Matthew’s
lap and padded over to her room. “Thank you,” whispered Matthew as she left,
turning around to give Dominic a true hug. “Thank you so much.”
“It’s nothing,” grinned back Dominic, moving his hands to cup the sides of
Matthew’s face. “I… just want you and Sari safe. You are… everything to me, and
she’s everything to you, and all I want on this earth is for you all to be
happy.”
Slowly, Matthew pulled back, allowing Dominic to hold his head in his hands.
The blonde’s tongue darted out to swipe over his lips. “Matthew…” he breathed,
and Matthew could feel a massive blush rapidly spreading through his body.
“Dom.”
“Can I…” Dominic asked, and when Matthew tilted his head slightly, confused,
Dominic swallowed and tried again. “Can I k-kiss you?”
“Mmhmm,” Matthew nodded, closing his eyes lightly. He waited silently as
Dominic slowly guided his head forwards. Dominic’s nose prodded gently against
his cheek. It felt soft, and kind of cold. And it didn’t come all at once. It
started with a slight touch, almost only a breath, and Dominic stopped to give
Matthew the chance to pull away if he wanted. Instead, he closed the gap,
feeling the touch get closer and closer until they were finally, yes, they were
finally kissing and all Matthew heard was the blood rushing through his ears.
Dominic tasted of salt, warm, like home. And Matthew realized he’d never been
this close to anyone since everything had happened with her, and all in a wave
it came to him how protective and gentile and patient Dominic was with him and
this, the static yet tender pressing or their lips together, perfectly
signified that. The way the thumb caressing his cheek never stopped its
circles, the way Dominic wasn’t going too far without Matthew’s consent, the
way he wasn’t forcing himself on too hard and was completely letting Matthew
take control with a soft grip and even softer lips—this was nothing like it was
with Gaia; she was always the one who took control, saying that she would let
him do it later, but she never did. This, though, if this was his later, it was
damn well worth the wait. He was completely in his own world, one which only
consisted of Dominic and his cold-yet-warm, completely smooth lips, and the
gentle touch of his nose and his hands.
He slid his own hand up Dominic’s chest, eventually settling on the other’s
shoulder and slowly rubbing a circle there. Dominic seemed to lean closer in,
sitting up straighter and curving his shoulders more so that he was above
Matthew, who had to look more upwards to stay in contact. The older obviously
wanted to be assertive but was too scared of hurting him to do anything.
On the other hand, Matthew wanted more. He had butterflies building up in his
stomach as he pressed harder up and against him, walking his fingers to anchor
them on the side of his neck, right below his jaw.
Dominic pulled away, although not entirely; he still leaned their foreheads
together as he disconnected their lips, taking a few breaths. Only then did
Matt realize that he too was feeling somewhat deprived of oxygen, as he had
unknowingly been holding his breath, and he breathed hard as well, opening his
eyes to stare at Dominic. He felt so lucky—exhilarated, even—to have found
someone who cared about him so deeply, finally, even and especially after
everything that had happened to him. “Dom,” he breathed, “I…”
The other opened his eyes, staring at him deeply. “Yeah? D’you want me to
stop?”
“No.” Dominic turned his body to face Matthew’s, propping himself up with one
elbow on a pillow. Matthew mirrored the motion, and took the sides of Dominic’s
face in his hands in a change of position. “Again?”
“Yeah.”
He pulled them together again, and this time it was a little more heated,
because he started to move his lips very slowly. He felt inexperienced, he knew
that he was terrible at intimacy after all his previous violence- and force-
shattered attempts. But, as always, Dominic was patient, and as soon as Matthew
opened his mouth, Dominic gently took Matthew’s bottom lip between his teeth,
passing his tongue over it. The younger let out a very faint moan, causing
Dominic to shiver from the vibration. He released Matthew’s lip, kissing him
normally while still touching his tongue to that same spot. The younger parted
his lips wider, and silently urged Dominic to just get his damn tongue in his
mouth, to which he listened and suddenly there was tongue and it was all so
real, with Dominic’s tongue swiping gently along his teeth and then pressing
against his own tongue before retreating and then repeating. It felt beautiful.
This went on for a solid number of minutes, with occasional parting for breath
before rejoining.
Until Matthew heard a faint little voice from their bedside.
“Daddy?”
Chapter End Notes
     Rushed? Maybe. I'm at a restaurant right now, and I still can't make
     formatting corrections. Apologies for that, but, hey, at least the
     italics work.
***** Chapter 7.2: In Which Sari Walks In *****
Chapter Summary
     Matthew has to explain. Dominic laughs.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“Sari!” Matthew squealed, yanking his head away from Dominic. The blonde let
out a squeak at the surprise, falling backwards onto his hands, as well. “I,
er….”
The little girl tilted her head, looking between Dominic and Matthew.
Apparently, she had already finished putting her pajamas on, and had promptly
decided to walk in on them just then. “Daddy, why were you and Mr. Dominic
kissing?”
Dominic coughed. Matthew’s face reddened tenfold, sneaking a hand up to his
face to swipe at his mouth. No doubt his lips were swollen and red. “Baby, I…
me and Dom, we… we like each other a lot, and we w-wanted to show it to each
other,” Matthew attempted to explain.
“But… it looks gross! It looks like you’re eating each other’s face. Does it
hurt? Isn’t it yucky?” she asked, and Matthew snorted.
“No, darling. It… you know how I kiss you on the head sometimes, or on the
cheek? It’s to show you I love you, right?”
Sari nodded.
“Well, when two… older people, who aren’t family, when they kiss on the mouth,
it’s… it’s to show they love each other, too. We aren’t… eating each other’s
face,” Matthew added, shooting a look to an almost-cackling Dominic. “It’s, er…
it’s nice. It’s a nice feeling.”
“Oh,” Sari said, understandingly. “But… Daddy, I don’t want you to love Mr.
Dominic. I don’t want you to.”
Taken aback by his daughter’s quiet words, he put his arms out and pulled her
onto the bed, placing her on his lap. “Why don’t you want me to love Dom, baby?
Is it… is it because we’re both boys? I mean, it’s not r-really normal, but—”
Shaking her head, Sari pulled Matthew’s ear down and whispered, “If you love
Mr. Dominic, you won’t have enough love for me, too.”
Matthew couldn’t help but laugh at that. “No, silly,” he corrected her, seeing
Dominic smile out of the corner of his eye. “I’m not going to run out of love.
I’ll always love you the most, baby, you know that. You come before
everything.”
“Your daddy’s right, Sari,” Dominic added, scooting over to them. “He always
cares about you most. It’s what a daddy does.”
The little girl seemed frightened by Dominic, and Matthew asked her why. “He
was… yelling before,” she explained. “He was really angry, Daddy.”
Cautiously, Dominic moved a hand and placed it atop the little girl’s head. She
looked up at him through her eyelashes, seemingly scared yet curious. “I wasn’t
trying to hurt you, Sari,” he assured her. “I was shouting at… at your mummy.
She’s a bad lady, you said, and I didn’t want you to get hurt by her. So I
tried to get her away, yeah? I wasn’t shouting at you, darling. I was just
protecting you and Daddy.”
Matthew blushed. Hard. He was unsure if Dominic meant to leave out the “your,”
but nonetheless, it still made him sort of tingly.
Sari, however, just sank further into her father’s chest, her tiny hands
clutching onto one of the sleeves of his shirt. “You promise?” she asked, and
the two nodded and hummed simultaneously in affirmation. “Well… okay.”
Her father couldn’t help but grin at her response. “Alright, darling, it’s
bedtime,” he announced, lifting her from his lap and onto the bed right next to
him. He got up to shut off the light, before returning and wrapping his arms
around her.
“Daddy, can’t I sleep in my own bed?” she asked, almost angrily.
Matthew shook his head, nuzzling the back of hers. “No, darling, I want to be
able to see you.”
As the two settled in, Dominic cleared his throat. “Er, I’ll pop over on the
cou—” he started, before a hand reached up and pulled him down by the shirt.
“You’re sleeping here,” Matthew mumbled into Sari’s head. “No excuses.”
Dominic didn’t disobey. He cautiously laid down, being careful not to get too
close to Sari, before pulling the blankets over the three of them.
They almost looked like a family, the little girl nestled closely between the
two men, as they drifted off to sleep.
Almost.
Chapter End Notes
     Short. Thank you for 700 hits.
***** Chapter 7.3: In Which Matthew Has His Fourth Dream *****
Chapter Summary
     Matthew's emotions are mixed.
Chapter Notes
     Today's double upload is brought to you by Marta and Hazel.
The first time Gaia brought home another man, Matthew was fourteen.
The two had been figuring out how to get Matthew out of his home and into
Gaia’s—well, she had been. Matthew could do nothing but wait.
She had called him over because she wanted him. He’d obeyed, telling his mother
he was going out with friends, and she’d just let him go. Silently, he wished
she hadn’t. He wished she would notice what was happening to him, ask him
questions,get him out,but she didn’t. She didn’t care.
So to Gaia’s he went. He didn’t cry that night, which he was proud of. Usually,
he cried.
The sting of leather seemed less painful.
Midday passed, and Matthew laid sweating in the bed, naked. Patches of come
dried slowly on his stomach, the feeling uncomfortable.
Dirty. He needed to wash.
As that thought passed through his head, he heard Gaia yell from the other
room. “Ma’am?” he asked, rolling up to a sitting position.
“Clean up yourself,” she called. “Stay out of my room.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied dutifully, pulling himself off the bed and into the
bathroom.
Watching the soap float down the drain felt satisfying. He wished all of his
problems, all his issues with her would float away just like that.
Stop it,he thought to himself.She loves you. She wants to care for you.
Yeah, but lovers don’t usually have a massive age difference, where an adult is
fucking a child.
Matthew shivered. The water turned cold and harsh.
It doesn’t matter if we are lovers, because I am hers.
When he opened the door, towel wrapped around his waist, he was met with Gaia.
“Hello, Ma’am,” he muttered, his eyes sinking down. “I was just g-going to get
my clothes.”
Two of her fingers guided his head up, so their eyes could meet. Matthew
couldn’t describe what he saw in hers—it was a brewing combination of desire,
of lust, but one of affection, too. Something harsh but something caring.
She pulled their lips together. It wasn’t rough like before, but it wasn’t
gentle, either; something about it made Matthew want to melt and pull away at
the same time.
Of course, he did neither, opting to remain perfectly still as she had her way
with him. Her lips moved to kiss down to his chin, on his jaw, then they
latched on his pulse point, gently nibbling on the tender vein. He couldn’t
hold in a soft moan, because, while he may not have wanted it, it still felt
good.
“I love you,” she whispered into the skin there, her breath tickling him.. He
shivered.
“I love you too, ma’am,” he replied. Conditioned.
“You are…” she trailed off to continue sucking at his pulse point, the tender
muscles there twitching under her lips and teeth. There would be a bruise.
“…Delicious.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” he managed, the words harder and harder to say as he faded
into her touch.
He always did. That’s how he got there in the first place.
She pulled away. “Go to the living room, baby boy. Have a snack. You deserve
it.”
He nodded once, somewhat confused as to why she suddenly showed such compassion
to him. The bursts were becoming less and less frequent, yet he didn’t disobey,
heading towards the bedroom to get clothes, then to the kitchen for a snack.
He was in the middle of eating when he heard the door open.
A male voice.
His head whipped around to see Gaia greeting a tall man, darker in complexion,
definitely at least twice his age.
Hurt.
She kissed him, hard, pulled him towards the bedroom. The dark man turned,
noticed Matthew. “Who’s this?” he asked, and Matthew stiffened.
Her lover,he wanted to growl.Get out of my house.
But Gaia replied, “That’s my nephew. He won’t bother us, right, Matthew?”
Oh, that fucking bitch.“Yes,” he said simply, dropping her title as not to
arouse suspicion.
“Good pet,” she breathed, and Matthew couldn’t tell if it was towards him or
the man.
He didn’t dare turn on the TV. His only background noise was that of his lover
and a strange man, fucking in the same bed they had used not two hours earlier.
Never before had Matthew felt such rage. Betrayal.
Jealousy.
He was hers. He was hers. He was hers and she was using another, as if they
shared nothing. As if she hadn't taken his virginity.
They went for hours, until Matthew was forced into the second room.
He couldn’t help crying himself to sleep.
***** Chapter 8.1: In Which Dominic is Confused *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
It was the second night Matthew had had a nightmare with Dominic around, and he
didn’t know what to do.
When the younger man’s trembling had woken him—he had always been a light
sleeper—he’d gone to his kitchen and poured a glass of water, which he then
placed on Matthew’s nightstand. He didn’t know whether to wake him up or let
him wake himself up, so he just sat on Matthew’s side of the bed, his legs
swung over the side as he debated internally.
Eventually, Matthew decided for him, waking with a start. “Get out,” he growled
as he pulled himself up. Dominic assumed that he wasn’t talking to him, and
instead thought he was talking to someone from his dream.
His hand moved to press against the top of his head, and the brunet turned,
finally noticing Dominic. “Bad dream?” he asked, mentally slapping himself. Of
course it was a bad dream, you idiot.
Matthew only nodded as Dominic handed him the water. He drank it as if he had
never drank before, and pushed the back of his hand against his mouth after.
“I’m sorry, darling,” Dominic whispered, his hand never leaving Matthew’s head.
The poor thing.
“Don’t be sorry,” Matthew replied in a hushed voice, as not to wake Sari, who
still slept soundly on the bed. “It isn’t your fault.”
“I know, but I wish I could do more.”
Matthew shook his head. Dominic’s hand dropped, but the brunet took it in his
own. “You do enough. You do… really well. You make me feel better.” His head
bowed a little bit. “You draw me out of it, y’know? When I see you, I know… I
know it was just a dream. That’s the best thing you can do for me.”
Dominic’s face flushed. “Do you want anything?” he asked.
Matthew shook his head, then paused, looking up. Those eyes, those crystalline
pools that he could get lost in, they met with his, and he shivered. “Can I
have a kiss?” Matthew asked innocently, and, wordlessly, Dominic pushed his
head forwards to connect their lips. Like their first kiss, it was soft, slow,
careful. Dominic didn’t want to force anything, so he kept his touch gentle, so
Matthew could pull away when he felt he needed to.
He adored the way Matthew attempted to deepen it, his inexperienced mouth
moving gently against his. Dominic couldn’t help but start to move his own
lips, the gentle caress causing them both to let out almost inaudible moans.
Matthew pulled away after a second, most likely not wanting to wake Sari if
they should escalate too much. “Thank you,” Matthew whispered, and Dominic
leaned his head down to kiss at Matthew’s jaw.
Down his neck.
At his pulse point.
Before he could register that Matthew had tensed, he felt a hand pushing at his
head. Pushing away.
He lifted his head to see Matthew’s eyes on the ground. “Don’t,” the brunet
breathed, the single syllable almost not there.
“Fuck,” Dominic cursed, instantly moving away. Must’ve been in his nightmare,
he concluded as he watched the gears grind in Matthew’s head. I’ve got no idea
what to do now. Do I just leave?
That look, though, the dark look in Matthew’s previously warm eyes, it was
something he didn’t want to see. That emptiness. It was almost as if his
personality had completely drained away, and he had become someone else
entirely.
He hated it.
“I’m sorry, baby,” Dominic whispered, moving away from Matthew’s shrinking
form. “I’m sorry. I didn’t….”
Matthew said nothing. Dominic had no idea what to do.
He moved away, to his side of the bed. Sari laid between them, still blissfully
asleep.
Dominic stopped in his tracks when he heard the tiniest hint of a sob.
“No, babe, don’t—” Dominic started, and he turned around and headed back over
to the shivering man. “No, Matthew, don’t—don’t cry, baby, don’t cry, please.”
Framing his face once again, he used his thumbs to wipe off the tears from
under his eyes. “She’s gone now, okay? Come on. It’s alright now.”
Matthew shook his head. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this,” he croaked out.
“No, no,” Dominic cooed. “Please. It’s okay. I don’t mind.”
“B-But you’re always having to care for me,” Matthew whimpered, exasperated.
“You shouldn’t have to. You should have a boyf—I, er, a… y’know, who cares
back. I can’t… I try, but I get… I get upset, and I don’t want you to have to
be worrying about me all the time. I want to love you. I want to care for you
like I know you care for me. But, I….”
“It’s okay,” Dominic kept saying. “It’s okay. Matthew, this is part of who you
are. It’s part of you. It’s… you’re fine. You’re still fine and I don’t think
any less of you for this, okay? You have boundaries, like every other person.
I’m going to respect those. It’s part of me lo—er, caring, for you.”
Matthew just shook his head. “I want to go to bed.”
“Alright.” Dominic took his hands from Matthew’s head and went back to his side
of the bed. “I… goodnight, Matthew.”
“Yeah,” the brunet said, turning to face away from Dominic.
Say it. Say it!
“I… love you,” he mumbled, and saw Matthew stiffen slightly.
“You said it was too early,” he replied, and Dominic shook his head.
“Fuck early.”
Silence filled the room for a solid five minutes.
Then, “I love you, too.”
Chapter End Notes
     We're nearing the end.
***** Chapter 8.2: In Which Dominic Has an Idea *****
Chapter Summary
     Of course, it comes now.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Dominic didn’t expect to feel warmth against him when he woke up.
He half expected to be in his own bed, in his own house, in his own room. He
half expected to be on his own.
But, as he pulled apart his eyelids, he noticed his arms were wrapped around a
little bundle of warmth.
A little bundle of warmth with a mess of dark hair and a tiny body and tiny
hands.
Tiny hands that grasped his phone, pressing buttons randomly.
“Hey,” he croaked, and her tiny head turned to look at him with tiny blue eyes.
“Hello, Mr. Dominic,” she whispered. “Can you open your phone?”
Grunting, the blonde moved his arm from under Sari’s neck and pushed in his
passcode. “There you go,” he smiled into her hair. “You wanna play a game?”
When she nodded gleefully, he swiped across the screen and pressed on a snake
game, and he could hear her giggle next to him.
“Mr. Dominic, this is so cool!” she laughed at the screen, pressing it
arbitrarily.
He guided her hands towards where she was supposed to swipe, and she giggled
madly when fireworks blossomed across the screen. “I wish Daddy had a phone
like this,” she said simply, as she continued to play the game.
A tiny thought ran through Dominic’s mind. He pushed it aside, and settled for
holding tighter onto the little girl in his arms. “You know, Sari,” he said
quietly into her head. “You don’t have to call me Mr. Dominic. Dom is fine.”
He could almost feel her thinking. “Dom?”
“Yeah?”
“Okay. But it’s weird!”
“Why?”
“You’re really old. You gotta be a Mister.”
Dominic laughed. “No, love. I don’t have to be a Mister. Me and you are close,
yeah?”
“…Okay.”
Just then, Dominic heard footsteps from the hallway. He turned to look just as
Matthew’s lithe frame peeked over the side of the door. “Oh,” he noted when he
saw the two of them laying together. “D-Dom, you clung onto Sari in your sleep,
and she got a little nervous, but, er, she was fine after a while. A-And I see
you two are awake.”
Dominic nodded, extracting his arms from around Sari and sitting up slightly.
“Yeah?”
"I m-made breakfast.”
The tanned skin of Dominic’s face brightened substantially. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
At the mention of food, Sari too perked up. “Daddy!” she squeaked when she
noticed that Matthew was standing in the doorway, throwing Dominic’s phone onto
the bed and rushing towards him.
“Hey, baby,” he laughed, lifting her up. “Oof, you’re getting heavy, you big
girl.”
She cackled as Matthew buried his nose into her neck. “Daddy, I’m still small!”
she disagreed.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. But you’re growing up so quick, darling.”
Dominic, meanwhile, pushed himself from the bed, moving to press a kiss to
Matthew’s temple. As the brunet set the little girl down on the floor to get
some breakfast, Dominic moved to hold him in his arms. “Can I give you a kiss?”
he asked, barely a whisper, and he pressed his lips chastely on Matthew’s when
he got a nod.
It was short. Quick.
Dominic still felt that he needed to ask.
Especially after last night.
Instead of saying anything, Matthew took Dominic’s hands and led him to the
kitchen, where a pile of eggs and bacon lay on a plate on the center of the
table. “I t-tried my best,” he muttered, sitting at an opened fold-up chair,
one he had clearly just put out for the extra company. Dominic and Sari took
the two regular chairs, and served themselves some of the eggs and bacon.
“Daddy, I love it,” Sari complimented through a full mouth.
"Wait till you’re finished chewing to talk,” Matthew only replied.
They ate in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence, though—it was filled with
the sounds of eating and the air was full of comfort.
Almost familial comfort.
Abruptly, Sari set her silverware down and blurted out, “Is Mummy gone?”
Matthew and Dominic shared a glance, one of confusion and fear. “Erm,” Matthew
started, and Dominic moved to get up.
“I’ll check the door, wait here,” the blonde said quietly, and headed over to
the entryway. Through the windows on the side of the door, he couldn’t see
anyone, but he didn’t want to take any chances.
He opened it.
No one was there.
“All clear,” he called as he shut and locked it again. “She isn’t here.”
Sari nodded, picking up her silverware and resuming talking with a full mouth.
“I was worried a little.”
“Chew before you talk, Sari,” Matthew scolded.
The little girl only shrugged. So did Dominic.
When they had finished, the blonde made up his mind. “Get dressed, you two,” he
instructed as he cleaned up all their dishes. “I’m taking you out.”
“Why?” they asked simultaneously, and the blonde laughed lightly.
“I think Daddy needs a phone.”
Chapter End Notes
     With every fiber of my being, I hate this and the next chapter. I've
     rewritten them over and over, but they never come out how I want them
     to. Everyone will just have to deal, I guess.
     Overcoming will be uploaded in its entirety by tomorrow.
     Be wary.
***** Chapter 8.3: In Which Dominic Insists *****
Chapter Summary
     They buy.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
It really wasn’t a big deal.
He kept insisting this to Matthew, who was fighting against him the whole way
there. “It’s so expensive,” he would repeat. “I can’t let you get that, it
costs so much money.”
But Dominic didn’t know how to tell him he was loaded, and a phone wasn’t a lot
of money for him. He’d keep him on his plan, but he just needed the smaller,
much weaker man to have one. “You need to keep in contact with everyone,” he’d
explained. “It’d make me feel better knowing that I’d be able to reach you.
Please, just let me do this for you.”
By the time they had reached the store, Matthew had given in, and Dominic gave
him a smile. Sari was absolutely bursting.
The clerk greeted them with a grin and “How are you?”
“Fine,” Dominic replied, taking control. “I’ve come to, er, add a phone to my
line.”
“Certainly,” she said, and, after taking information, she’d asked what kind of
phone he wanted. Dominic passed the question onto Matthew, who shrugged.
“The cheapest one,” he’d muttered, but Dominic was having none of it.
“Come on, darling, I told you it isn’t a big deal. Get something nice. It’s a
gift from me.”
When Matthew shrugged, Dominic decided for him, picking the newest iPhone 7.
Matthew’s eyes widened, but Dominic talked over his protests, asking what color
he’d like.
“Plain black,” Matthew finally said, giving in. He knew he couldn’t win over
the blonde.
After the woman brought out the phone, and Matthew proceeded to set it up,
Dominic pulled her aside. Taking a moment to glance down at her nametag, he
asked her in perfect French—in case Matthew was eavesdropping—“Do you sell
iPads here?”
She nodded, and Dominic asked for a white one. Something for Sari, too, the
poor girl doesn’t have anything to her name.
He managed to sneak it into the bag as they left, Matthew thanking him the
whole way home. Dominic only put his arm around the smaller man’s shoulders and
smiled.
Sari was ecstatic.
Dominic made sure to walk them completely to their house before saying goodbye,
taking the bag with Sari’s iPad in it. He wanted to wrap it up and hold it for
her birthday—which, he had no idea when it was. So he asked.
“Erm, the 22 November,” she muttered.
Two weeks, Dominic thought as he thanked her with a kiss to her cheek. We can
wait for that. What can happen in two weeks?
He rose, and moved one hand to Matthew’s shoulder before asking, “Can I have a
kiss?”
Wordlessly, their lips met once again. Each time, Dominic loved the sensation
more and more. It only lasted a second, though, before he pulled away, not
wanting to make it deep in front of the curious five-year-old standing at their
feet. “Bye, Matthew,” he whispered onto the shorter man’s lips, before pulling
away and waving.
He was sure he spotted a loving smile as he shut the door, heading down towards
his own home.
Chapter End Notes
     We're almost here. Once again, I hate how this chapter turned out,
     but that's beside the point.
     I'm so excited to have shared this story with you guys. The final
     chapter will be up today.
     Be wary.
     Thank you.
***** Chapter 9.1. *****
Chapter Summary
     A turn.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Still, Matthew had no idea why Dominic had bought him a phone.
It was ridiculously expensive, and he’d felt he never deserved it. When he
wouldn’t relent, he’d given in, but he couldn’t get rid of the sinking
suspicion that had infiltrated his heart.
The one that Dominic was trying to take him and Sari.
It’s stupid, he mused. It’s stupid and you’re just paranoid because that’s all
you’ve ever known. Just accept it and move on.
But he couldn’t. He could only think about his little girl and the blonde man
who suddenly had come into his life and offered nothing but joy and love. The
only thoughts that filled his mind were ones of Gaia, of how they initially met
and he’d gone against every warning he’d ever been given and succumbed to the
wills of the big bad wolf.
Look how far his trust had gotten him.
And, despite something being distinctly different between Dominic and Gaia, he
couldn’t help thinking that they both started the same way.
He didn’t want Sari to get hurt again. He’d pull out all his fingernails and
claw out his own eyes before he allowed anyone to lay a hand on her. By putting
his trust in Dominic, he was trusting that he wouldn’t hurt his daughter.
He didn’t know if he could do that. He loved the man, for sure. The emotions
that he experienced when they spent time together were ones he’d never felt
before. Sometimes, he felt he might cry from the sheer intensity of it all. But
trust, that was different. If love was giving your heart to someone, trust was
giving them a shredder and hoping they didn’t destroy you.
And he kept thinking of his daughter as his heart. Would he be willing to put
her at risk for his own feelings?
Of course not.
“I’m hungry, Daddy!” her voice called from the kitchen, snapping him out of his
thoughts.
“Alright, darling, give me a second,” he shouted back, his head flopping back
down onto the pillow. The thoughts flew around his head like a hurricane, and
he felt like he would get swallowed up.
“Daddy!” she continued shouting. “Come on, Daddy!”
Matthew almost growled in frustration as he pulled himself from the bed. “Okay,
Sari, I’m coming.”
She wouldn’t stop yelling for him, though. By the time he reached the kitchen,
her voice was just a long, high, constant scream.
“Baby, stop yelling,” he groaned. “I’ll make you a snack. What do you want?”
She pointed in the direction that Matthew recognized as the window. “That’s not
a snack, Sari. What’s wrong?”
Another screech fell from her mouth as she suddenly clung onto Matthew’s arms.
Something was scaring her. He turned his head in time to see a brick fly
through the window.
The shattering of the glass pierced his ears as he wrapped his arms reflexively
around her body. “Fuck!” he shouted over the sound of her screams. Tightly as
he could, he pulled her into his body as he felt the brick slam against his
back.
They were coming for her.
She was coming.
He couldn’t fall.
Behind him, he heard the thumping of feet. Someone had hopped through his
window. Sari shook against him with audible sobs, and Matthew could do nothing
but try and talk her through it. “It’s okay, baby,” he whispered into his ear,
despite feeling the tears seep from his eyes. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” His arms
quaked with the fear rushing through his veins, and yet he couldn’t do
anything. He tried edging away, pulling Sari up and running, but he couldn’t,
as strong hands pulled him around, yanking him up.
The man had a mask on, one that only revealed his eyes. Deep green. Narrowed.
Angry.
“Give me the girl,” he instructed, and Matthew’s heart dropped.
"No,” he growled, holding her tight enough that she whimpered.
“Give her to me.”
“No!”
“Do it.”
“No!”
The man snarled, grabbing Matthew’s head. In one fluid motion, he slammed it
against a cabinet that Matthew had been previously leaning on, the handle
catching his skin and ripping it.
He screamed.
He didn’t let go of her.
“You can’t take her from me,” he cried out, the pain in his head almost making
thought impossible.
“She sent me.”
“Gaia.”
“Yes. Give me the girl.”
“Take me instead, please, take me, don’t let anything happen to Sari!”
Sari’s trembling hands latched onto Matthew’s shoulders. “I don’t wanna go.”
The man with the mask reached out his hand, grabbing the back of Sari’s dress.
“Come on. Come with me.”
“NO!” she screeched, her tiny nails digging into Matthew’s skin. The pain
didn’t register there, though, as his head throbbed with the ache of the
impact. Blood trickled down his neck.
“Let go right now, or I’ll hurt your father.”
At this, Sari’s grip weakened, while Matthew’s did the opposite. “You can’t
take her,” Matthew repeated, holding her head to his chest. “Please, she’s only
a child, she’s only five, please, let her go!”
The man picked the brick up from the floor. Swung it at Matthew’s head.
A sharp sting exploded on the side of his skull as his vision went dark. He
still remained conscious, though, and didn’t move his hands from Sari’s body.
“It’s okay,” he whispered to her. “Sari, love, don’t let go of Daddy, please,
baby, don’t let go. Daddy loves you, please, baby.”
Through the pain, Matthew managed to hear a snarl from the other side of the
room. His vision faded in and out as he spotted the brick once again in the
man’s hand. Flying towards his head.
The final hit caused him to tumble to the ground, his grip on Sari reflexively
loosening with the pain. “No,” he cried out as he felt her being wrenched from
him, heard her screams as the man pulled her over his shoulder and started to
climb out the window. “Sari,” he tried to shout, tried to call her back, but it
was hardly any use. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe.
“Daddy!” she shrieked from outside. “Daddy, help me, please!”
I’m sorry, the voice in his head sobbed. I’m sorry, baby, I’m sorry, Daddy’s
sorry he can’t run over there and get you. I love you. I love you, Sari. Be
strong.
“Daddy!” Her cries were farther.
Daddy’s gonna find you.
Chapter End Notes
     This is it.
     Thank you all for reading this story. It was so much fun to write.
     But don't worry, it doesn't end here--the second part will be out in
     a couple months. I'm hoping this hits a few thousand hits (is it just
     wishful thinking? Yes), and I'll still be writing one-shots.
     The second story will be called "Searching."
     Feel free to talk to me on Twitter.
     Thank you once again.
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