Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/13011897.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage, Major_Character_Death
  Category:
      Multi
  Fandom:
      IT_-_Stephen_King, IT_(2017)
  Relationship:
      Pennywise_(It)/Reader, The_Losers_Club/Reader
  Character:
      The_Losers_Club_(IT), Original_Characters, Pennywise_(IT)
  Additional Tags:
      Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Child_Abuse, Slow_Build, Death, Physical_Abuse,
      Psychological_Torture, Trauma, First_story, Friendship/Love, Jealousy,
      Limerence, Near_Death_Experiences, Angst, Bad_Decisions, Mind_Games,
      Manipulation, this_is_really_bad, Pennywise_(IT)_Being_an_Asshole,
      Triggers, Dubious_Consent
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-12-17 Updated: 2018-02-26 Chapters: 12/? Words: 39541
****** Out On A Limb ******
by ImLaughingImCrying
Summary
     Were you always one to pick a fight? Or were you simply one to just
     go out on a limb?
***** Bite The Bullet *****
Chapter Notes
     First story you might like it, you might not. I swear I read this
     over like 1,000 times so if you find a typo please tell me. Enjoy❀
The woman groped onto her bulged stomach, beating at it from time to time
because of the source within it. Her babe. She flung her head back, screaming
and cursing at the air in agony while she struggled to go up the stairs.
Knocking down her glass bud vase and picture frames on accident.
 
"Lord, help me!" She cried once she was laid upon her bed. Fingers intertwining
around her cotton nightgown as she prepared for the delivery. Pushing as hard
as she could till she saw the bloody-red color pool between her legs. 
 
"Holy Mary, pray for me-Saint Joseph, pray for me. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph
assist me in my last agony!" Her mouth was parched, her throat was dry and out
came her final ear-splitting screech. Before everything went silent, her gaze
was unwavering and you would think she was dead before she ever so slightly
moved her sweaty legs, feeling something between them.
 
Slowly she pulled her dress up and gasped once she saw the wet, gleaming flesh
of the babe. It turned it's chubby head side to side letting out small whimpers
and coos. Her eyes watered as she watched it, and only one word came to her
mind, sin.
 
"Go to hell..." She turned, opened her drawer and took out her scissors that
she would use for sewing. Positioning it and then abruptly striking down to
pierce the now weeping baby. She stopped just above its face once she met the
small eyes of it. Those eyes. Her hand slowly retreated back placing the
scissors down and cradled the crying newborn near her chest.
 
                                                                               
                              ✄
 
Unlucky Morning
 
"School is such a crock..." Beverly, your best friend moaned out as the both of
you walked out of school. It had been the last day, good riddance to bad trash!
The both of you had had a perilous time in that hellhole due to bullies,
luckily she was there for you and you were there for her. 
 
"Thank God today is the last day." You nodded your head to what the ginger had
said, then she abruptly stopped walking. "Look over there." You followed her
gaze and saw the new kid on the block, carrying a project in between his hands.
He had short brown hair and was rather fat for his age. You watched as he
nearly tripped over the wires of his headphones that dangled on the ground.
 
"What, you got a crush on him?" You questioned Beverly, to which she ignored
then soon proceeded to walk to him.
 
She signaled for you to follow her.
 
You looked at your watch and realized that it was almost past the time your
mother wanted you back home.
 
"No can do, Bev. Gotta go home, bye." You hurriedly unlocked your bike lock and
rode all the way back home, already knowing your mother's reaction. 
 
 
"Why were you gone for so long?!" You slowly placed your book bag on the
ground, afraid that she might hit you. "Mother, I'm sorry. It'll never happen
again." You said to the woman who now clutched the threating broomstick between
her hand.
 
"Go to your room." She demanded. You were glad that she didn't harm you or
worse, put you in 'The Bad Girl Closet'. Whenever you had done something bad
your mother would always force you into a small closet, filled with mirrors and
crosses and would tell you, "Look at yourself. You're hideous aren't you." Even
though you would scream and cry she wouldn't let you out until she was
satisfied.
 
Most times her words stuck to you like a horrible bite from a dog. You would
remember them and think that they were really true. Most times, when you were
in public you would use a scarf or style your hair in a way that would block
some of your face. Like your big, ugly forehead or your goofy looking nose.
 
You undressed and turned on the faucet. Once the water was up to the length you
desired you soon put some of your mother's stress relief bubble bath soap into
it. It had always come in handy with a nice warm cup of sweet chamomile tea
before bed. The bubble bath was warm and pleasant like always. It was one of
the things you had taken pleasure in doing in life. Soon your eyelids grew
heavy and before you knew it sleepiness had taken over your body.
 
It was all black and you could see your mother with tears swelled in her now
big broad eyes. "I wish I had never given birth to you! I wish you would just
die!" She screamed with with clenched fists.
 
"(Name)! Dinner's ready!" You woken up with a startled jump due to your
mother's voice. But you couldn't help but notice that between your splayed out
legs was the peak of a clown's head. You could see only its eyes and the tip of
its nose just above the soapy water. It was staring at you with glowing yellow
irises, it had ginger-colored hair which was slicked back against its big white
forehead due to the water. You let out a shrill scream as you tried to crawl
out of the bathtub, your calves ached from hitting the porcelain of it while
you struggled to grab your towel. You clumsily slipped into the hallway,
looking like a weird break dancer and soon ending it all with a painful split
and an excruciating howl. 
 
Your mother came running up the stairs to see what had happened and shook her
head in disbelief once she had found you curled up in a ball with the towel
pressed against your heaving chest, along with the wet trail from the bathtub
following into the hallway.
 
"14 years old and still makes the clumsiest of mistakes." You gasped loudly at
what she had said and reached a hand out to grab her by the shirt. Only to
retreat it back once you felt pain in your pelvis. You watched as she walked
back into the kitchen as you kept screeching for her to help you.
 
The sound of your cymbal-banging monkey toy loudly banging the cymbals together
filled your ears. When you looked up it was right on top of your mother's
ironing board. But instead of being a monkey, it was in the form of the same
clown from before. Soon you heard a childlike giggle and that's when you tried
to scoot your way into your bedroom. Fear already getting the best of you.
 
                                                                               
                                ✄  
 
"Just die! I don't ever want to see you again! You are an abomination!" Your
mother would sometimes tell you a story. A true story that she had gotten raped
in high school. It was ungodly and out came you, the abomination. Bullies would
be at school waiting for you, to punch you here and there. Giving you the
ghastliest of bruises, it was no surprise that when people saw you, they
thought you had harmed your self. Ha! Not like you didn't do it anyways.
 
"Mom, where are the razors?" You would lock the bathroom door, take out the
blade and inflict the grief upon yourself. It would be hard to hide the scars
due to Greta Bowie and her friends. They'd pull you into the bathroom and
violently roll up your sleeves, exposing the cuts and laughing at 'the little
shit'.A nickname they would call you. The only person who you trusted and that
knew about your secret was Beverly. But you had always hated the saddened face
she would give you once she would see how deep the cuts were.
 
"I'm okay, I promise." You would fake a smile and pull your sleeves over the
cuts. Teachers and adults were supposed to help students in need, right? Ha!
That was a complete fabrication! They didn't do shit! 
 
And then there, before you stood the huge cymbal-banging monkey toy. But again,
it wasn't a monkey it was a clown. It was towering over you while you covered
your ears from its horrendous laughter and the banging of the cymbals.
 
In the morning you woke up with a cold sweat, the pain in your pelvis had
reduced and you could finally walk on your own two feet again.
 
"Hello?" You asked.
 
"Hey, can you...uh...help me with something?" Beverly asked from the telephone
with a nervous voice.
 
"Okay? Let me just ask my mom if I can go outside today." You ran upstairs and
asked your sleepy mother if you could go outside. She gave out a sluggish, "Be
back home at 6." Before falling back to sleep.
 
                                                                               
                                ✄ 
 
"God, hurry up and pick one!" Beverly groaned out while she held onto her
stomach. She had been on her period and needed your help. To be honest you
didn't really know much about periods since your mother would hardly talk to
you about them. 
 
"Jeez, it's just your period. No need to worry." You spoke while picking up the
Tampax box and turning to the angered girl. Her face was as bright as a tomatoe
and the freckles on her cheeks made her look like one with spots on it.
 
"Lemme tell you something, (Name). The words just and period don't go
together." She faked a toothy grin before snatching the box out of your hands
and walking like an old witch towards the cashier. All of a sudden her back
straightened. Greta Bowie was in the aisle that the both of you were about to
walk into. You both made a U-turn, and then her back straightened again. She
hid the box behind her back once she saw three boys that you had seen before in
your class, searching through the medical section.
 
"You okay?" One of the boys asked her. She stared at them in awkwardness. "I'm
fine, what's wrong with you?"
 
"None of your business." The same boy said with steady eyes. "There's a kid
outside, looked like someone killed him." The boy holding all the supplies
said.
 
"We need some su-su-supplies but we don't have enough money." You stared up at
Beverly waiting for her to do something or say something.
 
 
"Are you okay?" You asked the new kid on the block who went by the name Ben. He
had a long bloody cut underneath his big belly to which you cringed at when you
looked at it. You could imagine all his fat ploping out of the long cut and
onto the cement ground.
 
"Uh...yeah I'm good-I just fell."
 
"Right into Henry Bower." Richie stated. Did Henry hurt him? Maybe he had been
chased from him and took a hard fall onto a sharp twig?
 
After spending some time lost in your own thoughts, you had finally heard
Beverly speak up. "Maybe, I'll see you around." Beverly grabbed your hand and
walked you away from the group of boys. "That was weird..."
 
                                                                               
                                 ✄
 
It had been several days since Beverly had called you. You wondered if
something had happened to her. Maybe she was hurt. Or maybe her father had hurt
her. She had told you her secret about him, you felt bad for her and wouldn't
wish what she was experiencing upon anybody. Maybe he had decided that she was
to be punished because she had cut her hair? Or maybe he had found out that she
was hanging around boys and didn't like it?
 
"Do you guys know what happened to Bev?" You asked the group of boys as they
did different types of tricks on their bicycles trying to impress you.
 
"Hm, the last we saw her was about three days ago." Eddie said.
 
"Yeah, and she was hot." Richie chimed in with googly-eyes. You hopped up onto
your bicycle and followed after them. You enjoyed the cool breeze but what you
disliked about it the most was how it whipped against your hair, showing off
your big, ugly forehead and goofy looking nose. 
 
After some time of mindlessly riding on your bicycle with your friends, the lot
of you abruptly took a halt once you heard Beverly's voice.
 
"Guys!" A desperate Beverly called out as she now stood in front of the group
of you. "I need to show you guys something."
 
Richie was left outside as the rest of you went into Beverly's home. "In
there." She said almost in a whisper while she pointed to a glowing red door.
"What is it?" You asked. "You'll see."
 
Bill opened the door and there it was. A blood red bathroom as bright as the
brightest crimson you had ever seen. You heard Eddie gag and Beverly went on
about how her father couldn't see the mess.
 
"We can't leave it this way." Was all Bill said.
 
Soon after ever one was cleaning the bathroom. You moped the floor while
everyone else attended to the rest of the bloody mess. The bathroom was soon
blood free. Beverly shared her thanks, making sure everybody wiped the bottom
of their shoes before stepping out and into the hallway.
 
"Hey, I wasn't the one scrubbing the bathroom floor and imaging that her sink
went all Eddie's mom's vagina on Halloween!" Richie exclaimed as he rode his
bicycle in circles around everyone.
 
"She wasn't imaging it," Bill stopped walking and so did everyone else, "I saw
G-G-Georgie. It seemed so real. I mean-It seemed like him but-"
 
"The clown." Eddie said while staring at the ground. You glared up at Bill and
slowly nodded your head at him, "I saw it as well."
 
"Oh God, that's Henry Bower's car!" Richie pointed towards the car parked near
the grass. You could hear the sounds of grunting and shouting on the other side
of the bush.
 
"Isn't that the homeschooled kids bike?" 
 
"Homeschooled kid?" You questioned staring at the bike which laid on the grass.
 
"Yeah it's Mikes. We have to help him." Beverly let go of the handle of her
bicycle and went into the bushes were the voices emitted from.
 
You gasped watching as Henry Bower pinned Mike to the ground, proceeding to
smash a rock against the frightened boys head. Beverly threw a broad rock
straight into Henry's temple, causing him to fall to the ground with a 'thud'.
The rest of the party stood next to the both of you while Mike stumbled across
the small rocky river, making his way onto the side that you were on. Everyone
quickly picked up a rock once Henry finally stood up, "You losers are trying
too hard. She'll do you. You just gotta ask nicely, like I did." He said while
running his hands over his crotch. 
 
You felt uncomfortable once he had made eye contact with you and smirked. Ben
let out a loud battle cry causing you and Stanley to jump. He threw a rock at
Henry in rage, and that's when it all happened.
 
"Rock war!" Richie screamed out soon getting hit with a rock from Henry and his
goons. Rocks went flying this way and that as you dodged them, your hands
automatically flung rocks at The Bowers Gang with the help of your friends.
Soon Henry was on the ground yet again, leaving his friends to scurry off
somewhere. He was defeated and that's when the lot of you decided to evacuate.
 
                                                                               
                                    ✄       
 
"Maybe it knows what scares us the most, and that's what we see." Everyone had
been talking about the abnormal encounters that everybody had experienced with
the strange monster.
 
"I-I saw a leper. It was like a walking infection." Eddie stated.
 
"But you didn't." Stanley said obviously uncomfortable, "Because it isn't
real." 
 
"None of this is. Not Eddie's leper, or Bill seeing Georgie, (Name) seeing that
clown. Or-or the woman I keep seeing..."
 
"You saw something too?" Eddie asked Mike. Mike went on to explain how he had
seen his dead parents who had died due to a fire. You felt remorse for him as
he spoke.
 
"Rich, what are you afraid of?" You asked the brown haired boy as he shivered
while his attention was focused on something behind him.
 
"Clowns..."
 
 
The garage door was shut closed and the window was covered with a huge paper.
You positioned yourself next to Eddie as you gaped up at the big projector
screen which showed a map of Derry on it.
 
"Look," Bill pointed a finger at the map. "That's where Georgie disappeared.
There's the Ironworks. And The Black Spot."
 
"Everywhere it happens it's all connected by the sewers. And they all meet up
at the-"
 
"The Well House." Ben interrupted Bill as he stared at the map in amazement.
 
"The house on Neibolt Street..." Stanley said. You saw Eddie pull out his
inhaler, taking a deep puff out of it. Distress was splayed on his face as you
gently squeezed his sweaty hand to give him comfort.
 
"That's where I saw it. That's where I saw the clown!" Eddie exclaimed.
 
"That's where it lives," Bill stated. Eddie abruptly got up, blocking the view
of the screen.
 
"Can we stop talking about this?! I-I-I can barely breathe. I-I'm about to have
a fucking asthma attack! I can't do this!" He quickly turned around, ripping
the paper off of the wall in anger an fear.
 
"What the hell?! Put the map back." Bill demanded to which Eddie shook his
head, no. All of a sudden the projector started to switch displays. You saw
different pictures of Bill and his family. Mike tried turning it off but to no
avail as another picture was displayed on it own.
 
"Georgie..." Bill murmured as yet another picture appeared but this time
zooming into Georgie's face. You slowly got up, fear creeping up your back as
you steadily made your way away from the projector. Then it was zoomed into
Bill's mother's face. Her features turned into that of the same clown that you
had seen in the bathtub, and at that moment; you could feel your heart beat
increasing. 
 
"What the fuck is that?!" Richie asked as everyone tried to move away from it,
except for Bill who had seemed frozen in place as he stared at the flickering
picture. You ran up to grab his arm and pull him back, then Mike kicked the
projector down. The picture of the clown was gone and was instead replaced with
an uncanny blurry image of something you couldn't quite make out.
 
Like a thunderclap, you jumped at the sound of the projector switching displays
again. There it was. Another blurry picture of the clown. It flickered once.
Then twice. Then three times. And then you were running for your life. Out of
the wall came the huge clown with a smile that went ear to ear and bearing
razor-sharp teeth at the lot of you. You huddled in the corner of the garage
with all of the screaming boys. Only for your heart to stop once you realized
that the monstrosity was charging at Beverly!
 
Mike pulled the garage door open with all the force he had, and thank God that
the demon was gone. You fell to your knees, your legs felt like gelatin from
terror as your fingers shook and tears ran down your cheeks. Stanley helped you
stand up as Beverly slowly removed her hands from her eyes, she was visibly
shaking with fear. But once she realized that everyone was okay she made her
way towards the cluster of you and your friends and gave you and Bill a hug.
 
Bill soon turned around and quickly grabbed his bicycle. "Come on." He said
while everyone stared at him in confusion, "We have to go to the Neibolt
House."
***** Bats In the Belfry *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Everyone stood in front of the gloomy unwelcoming Neibolt House, which only
gave off one perspective. Eerie. You didn't want to go inside it and you could
tell that everyone else didn't want to as well. But there had to be someone or
something to stop the madness. To stop seeing the Missing Person poster signs
everywhere you went. To stop pretending that you didn't care that people went
missing in Derry and ignoring that fact. There had to be a stop to it all.
 
You, Bill, Richie, and Eddie slowly walked into the eldritch home, while the
rest of the group stayed outside to "keep watch" as Stanley had said. You knew
he was scared from the way he gripped his pants or the way he acted as if he'd
have Tourette's when he gaped upon the house. But honestly, who wasn't slightly
afraid? You turned to look at Richie as he held a crumpled up paper in his
hands reading from it.
 
"What?" Bill asked walking up to the now petrified boy. "It...it says I'm
missing." The lot of you looked at the paper. It was a picture of Richie above
it said MISSING.
 
"That's my shirt-that's my hair-that's my face-that's my age-!" Bill tried to
grab the paper out of Richie's wobbly hands as he screamed over and over again.
 
"Calm down this isn't real! Look at me Richie, that isn't real...it's playing
tricks on you." You stared back and forth at the boys, feeling the thick
tension in the air. Richie's breathing lowered a bit once he had calmed down.
 
"Hello?" Asked a voice that came upstairs, grabbing everyone's attention.
 
"Hello?" It asked again. You felt the need to vomit as your heart raced with
fear. You slowly followed after Bill with both hands tightly gripping at the
chest of your shirt.
 
"Help me please..." It cried out while the bunch of you steadily stalked
towards the stairs where the voice emitted from. The stairs faintly creaked as
you transitioned upwards. Once you were up the first flight of stairs you saw a
small mouse run across your sneakers. You jumped back, startled. Eddie placed
his hand gently upon your shoulder as you all followed after Bill, hands still
clutching at your chest only tighter. 
 
There, across the dark hallway was a lone girl. It was none other than Betty
Ripsom, one of the missing children in Derry. She stared at all of you then
something or someone abruptly grabbed the screaming girl-pulling her back till
she was out of view. Leaving you and the others gasping in shock. After some
time Bill finally walked forward, to see what had happened to her. You slowly
moved your feet to walk behind Richie and Bill. Your grip on your shirt was now
a tight seize. 
 
You suddenly turned around and saw Eddie staring at something. Quickly you ran
after him calling his name so he could get snapped out of whatever trance he
was in. Unexpectedly the door to the room that Richie and Bill were in closed
by itself, you gasped and ran back to it, banging on the door and screaming
their names. Eddie ran as fast as he could towards you, then suddenly the floor
broke up, leaving a gaping hole which prevented him to reach the side you were
on.
 
"What the fuck?!" He exclaimed while trying to stop himself from falling into
it. You screamed while tightly pressing your body onto the door that Richie and
Bill kept pounding at, trying to open it.
 
"Eddie!" You screamed out once you saw a hideous old man that looked like he
carried diseases with him behind Eddie. He gripped Eddie's shoulder, "Time to
take your pill Eddie." The thing's raspy voice called out. Soon letting out a
frighting scream and sticking out it's disgusting tongue at Eddie. Eddie gasped
and fell backwards into the hole.
 
You screamed out his name watching him collapse onto a wooden table, breaking
it into half. He weakly raised his head up then planted it back down. It seemed
as if he had fainted and all you could do was scream and close your eyes.
 
"(Name)! Open the door!" Bill said banging at it and trying to twist the handle
open. You quivered with fear not daring to open your tightly shut eyes. Then
you heard another door loudly shut close on the side that Bill and Richie had
been on.
 
"Richie!" Bill yelled out, banging on the other door. Then you could hear
Richie screaming as the door loudly shut again. You slowly opened your eyes,
your palms were sweaty and shaky and then you tried to open the door. Careful
not to slip and fall off the cliff and land straight onto Eddie. To your
surprise the door opened and you slipped yourself inside. The boys ran towards
you, checking to see if you were okay.
 
"D-d-don't open that door! The ground j-just opened up....and...." You tried to
explain to them, but failing as you stared at them with tears in your big eyes.
 
"We have to get out of here." Bill said suddenly turning around due to the
giggling in one of the rooms. Way across the hallway was a filthy mattress and
out came Eddie's head all dirty and gross looking.
 
"You wanna play loogie?" He asked as everyone started at him frozen with fear.
Then, somehow, someway a black liquid substance came running down his mouth. It
came from underneath the mattress then made it's way towards you guys. Eddie
let out an evil distorted laughter, shaking his body then vanishing beneath the
mattress.
 
"Oh my god..." You weakly spoke watching as the steamy inky substance inched
towards you. You turned around proceeding to run out of the room only to come
to a halt once you saw three doors. Not Scary At All, Scary and Very
Scary. Each one of them had written on the door. You looked at the Not Scary At
All  door then back at Richie and Bill, you all ran towards it in a haste.
 
"Where's my shoe?" Asked a voice in the pitch black darkness. Bill pulled the
light switch and that's when you saw a girl dangling from the ceiling with no
abdomen or legs. She screamed loudly and so did everyone else, you slammed the
door shut. Turning to look at the black liquid moving steadily closer to the
group of you. You gripped onto your head with worry thinking of something to
do.
 
"This...this isn't real." Bill urgently stated to both you and Richie,
"Remember the missing kid poster-that wasn't real. So this isn't real."
 
"Come on? Ready?" Bill asked as you and Richie went behind him as Bill got
ready to run into the Very Scary door.
 
"No!" Richie cried out. Bill quickly pulled the door open. "Thank god..." You
gasped out with wobbly hands once you saw the dirty hallway of the house.
 
"Where's Eddie?" Bill asked. Right when he had said that you heard Eddie's loud
scream, you all ran down the hallway. You pushed the door open with your side,
and nearly fainted at the sight before you. 
 
Croutched down over Eddie was the same clown that you along with the other's
had constantly been seeing. Your shaky hands found it's way to your chest.
Gripping and twisting at the shirt you wore. The clown let go of Eddie's face
and eyed you, Richie and Bill. You took a step back once you saw his glowing
yellow eyes.
 
"This isn't real enough for you Billy?" His voice sounded like nails brutally
scratching at a chalkboard. "I'm not real enough for you?" He was now frowning
and shaking. "I was real enough for Georgie." The monster grinned up at him
with a sinister smile. Laughing like a manic at Bill's reaction. It abruptly
got up, it's hands stuck out as it charged at the lot of you. You screamed and
shut your eyes gripping at the side of Richie's shirt and expecting to feel
impact.
 
Beverly came from thin air stabbing it straight in the head with what you had
guessed was a fireplace poker. The clown was frozen in place with it's blood
which begun to flow out of his right eye as he let out a ghastly sound. The
rest of the Losers' came from where Beverly had emerged from, staring at the
creature in shock. You ran towards Eddie to help him get up. He let out shrill
screams and that's when you saw the clown proceed to straighten it's arched
over back.
 
"We gotta get outta here!" You heard Richie cry out, then the clown turned
around-exposing sharp dirty teeth, his left eye was bright red and you begun to
shake Bill's shirt as a hurry, we need to get out of here-now sign. The clown
inched towards you, Beverly, Richie, Eddie and Bill. It's hand turned into
black claws and everyone screamed with fear. The monstrosity abruptly moved
closer and let out a penetrating scream causing everyone to jump. It chuckled
from everyone's reaction, then as fast as a speeding bullet he spun around and
clawed at Ben's stomach. Ben gripped his stomach and winced in pain, soon
falling on top of Mike. The clown watched everyone with hatred in it's eyes,
then backed up and soon evacuated the area.
 
"Don't let it go away!" Bill yelled, getting up to follow the monster. "Don't-
don't!" You shouted while clenching onto his black and red shirt. You followed
after him, through the door and down the stairs. That's when you saw the damned
thing going down a beat-up well.
 
"Do not fucking touch me-do not!" Richie swiftly grasped Eddie's broken arm,
propelling it back into place. Eddie's mouth gaped open, his eye's turned as
wide as the sky once he heard the snap of his bones and you could tell just how
painful it felt once you heard his roaring scream.
 
                                                                               
                                             ❤❤❤
 
Night- 8:00
 
You sat on your bed, fiddling with the bloody razor blade that you had used to
cut yourself. It had been three weeks sincethat day. You wept and wept until
your head had hurt. It felt as if all of The Losers' Club had been divided.
Back at the Neibolt house Bill and Richie had a fight. You couldn't shake off
what Stanley had called Bill. Crazy and you kept remembering how Bill had
punched Richie across his face. 
 
You pulled your sleeve up so that you could look at your other wrists. It had
five cuts on it which had begun to heal from the last time you had cut which
had dark red, dried up blood on the crest. You placed the blade on one of them,
getting ready to slice and that's when you heard Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes
being played downstairs. You could hear your mother singing along to it, which
was odd since she never listened to that type of music. The only type of music
your mother would ever listen to was Christian music. You slowly went down the
stairs to check up on her.
 
Mr. Sandman, bring me a drink (bung, bung, bung, bung)
 
The music got louder with each step you took.
 
Make him the cutest that I've ever seen (bung, bung, bung bung)
 
Her back was facing towards you, and could see that she was doing the most
strangest dance move too. Both arms in the air, her hips slowly swaying side to
side. On the table laid an empty bottle of alcohol,it seemed as if she had been
drinking. Again, something she would rarely do.
 
Give him two lips like roses and clover (bung, bung, bung, bung)
 
"Mother, are you okay?" You asked her. Her hands slowly dropped to her sides
and that's when she finally stopped dancing and singing, letting out a shaky
breath.
 
"You're bleeding..." She didn't sound very much like herself when she had said
that. Dread filling you from head to toe when you thought for a second that it
had been an intruder dressed up as her. You quickly grabbed one of the glass
plates from the shelves on the wall and smashed it against "her" head. It fell
face first onto the ground as you watched with heavy breathing. You knew that
that couldn't be your mother, she never stayed up late and didn't drink
alcohol.
 
You quickly made your way to the corded house phone. You planned on calling the
police then checking inside of your mother's bedroom to see if she was really
there. Before you could press the second 1 your "mother" slowly got up,
cracking its neck then turned around. It really was her! But how?! She never
drank alcohol, stayed up late or listened to anything other than Christian
music. 
 
"What the Devil?!" She asked furiously while rubbing the side of her head. "I'm
sorry, mama..." She clicked her tongue then stared deeply and dauntingly into
your eyes.
 
"What were you doing...upstairs?" Her eyes were wide and her glare made you
feel small and meek. There was no way she could have known what you were inside
of your bedroom.
 
"Stop it, you're scaring me." She forcefully pushed you against the wall once
you had said that. You let out a scream then the back of your head painfully
met the wall, instantly shutting you up. You could feel your sleeves being
pulled up and a hand seizing your arm so hard that you could feel the subtle
crimson moisture seep from out of the cuts. Hissing out in pain you looked up
and saw the same horrific clown that constantly haunted you in your dreams.
He'd run his tongue over the wounds with greediness which caused you to
suddenly recoil.
 
His lips were red, his eyes were yellow as gold, his skin was as white as
leprosy, a true nightmare before you.
 
Even though he was now over your body, you barely felt any fear. You just
felt empty. Your friends are gone and divided, school will start again and
you'll just go back to being bullied. Your mother wasn't much help either. So
why feel fear when you could feel empty. Dead. Death was like a shortcut in
life to you. You die and that's it, no need to worry about anyone or anything
anymore. It'll all be over.
 
You clutched the clown's blazing hair, pulling his face into your neck. "Kill
me, kill me please..." You begged him with tears running down your face. "I
just wanna die...please..." You could feel him smirk against your neck, then he
slowly pulled his face back, mere inches away from yours.
 
"Nah...you're weird." His words made you go rigid. Weird? Is that why he
wouldn't put you out of your misery? Wasn't that what he wanted to do all this
time?
 
"You have the shining." He said slowly licking your neck, "I'll kill the other
Losers' and keep you all to myself. Oh, the fun you and lil' ole me'll have."
Once he mentioned your friends you beat at his hard chest. Fear finally got to
you, it was as if he knew how to get underneath your skin. Find a reason to
make you not want to die, a reason to be afraid of him.
 
At that very moment, all your conceptions, even your will to die, seemed
utterly unimportant, "You stay away from them you son of a bitch!" He had a sly
look on his face as he eyed you with a how cute look. This made more rage and
panic bubble up inside of your body. Shining?He won't kill me because I have a
shining?!
 
While you were in your reverie, he attacked the flesh of your neck with rough,
ravenous intensity. His weight being pushed onto you-that alone made you gasp
out in pain at how he had crushed you. His sharp teeth ran across the shell of
your ear, nibbling and nipping at it. The feeling was odd to you, but at the
same time slightly delectable. You shamelessly arch into him, hands gripping at
the chest of his dirty white suit. He shifts to normal teeth then licks the
shell of your now hot ear, a heavy, feral growl emitted from his throat. It was
as if you had mood swings, one second angry and then the other lustful. Maybe
something was wrong with you, or maybe he was just that good at toying with his
food.
 
His kisses went downwards to your jaw, you writhe in order to get your lips to
touch his plump red ones. This action causes him to purr and smirk at how
desperate you were. To your dismay he pulls away, you were left weak and
faltering from his cliffhanger of a kiss.
 
"Aww, why are you still crying?" He asked watching as a tear fell down your
cheek. He leaned in and gave it a long lick, licking your open eye in the
process. You quickly closed it and groaned in disgust as he retreated back.
"There's no need to cry, Little Mouse. Especially when you're with me."
Abruptly he went for your neck again but this time giving you a painful bite
then lapping at the dripping blood. You winced in pain but still gave way to
him. 
 
"Property of Pennywise." He stated. His name was odd but you felt slight relief
once you had realized that he had left. You felt flustered and weak and
brittle. This was nothing but a nasty bitter pill!
Chapter End Notes
     The song I had used was Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes.
***** Basket Case *****
 
Morning
You decided to refrain from telling Bill that the Devil himself had met you
last night. A light silk scarf that your mother had made  was the only thing
you could use to hide the mark that he had given you on the side of your neck.
 
"If yo-yo-you need anything, make sure to call me or Beverly-okay?" Bill
demanded rather than asked as he got ready to go upon his bicycle. You nodded
your head at him, soon watching as he left, leaving you alone on the empty
sidewalk. After some time, you could subtly feel two hands hovering just above
your shoulders, and right when you were about to get up and run back home, you
had gotten pulled back by them and into the thick bushes.
 
The twigs of the bushes painfully scraped against your skin for what seemed
like forever, and that's when you finally opened your eyes with a groan and
looked around the clearing. You were placed in a beautiful forest, you had
almost gotten lost in the captivating view of the soft green breadth of grass
and trees, until you heard someone loudly clear their throat above you. Looking
up, your breath hitched in your throat when you saw the Devil that went by the
name Pennywise standing above you with both hands crossed over his chest.
 
He was seemingly inanimate as a statue, except for his two brilliant yellow
eyes that looked down on you intently like flames in a skull. Unnerving it made
you felt, and you sound found yourself recoiling from the faint cry of a bird.
 
"What do you want?!" You the loathsome thing angrily yet you were practically
shuddering by his strong gaze that never left you.
 
"My little Mouse, you know already that I hate those losers'..." You didn't
like the pet name he had given you. And you knew that his hate for your friends
overrode your stupid dislike of it. Your friends, they had been with you
through thick and thin and you would gladly give up your life for theirs.
 
"If I submit to you, will you leave them alone?" You hoped that he would come
up with some kind of acceptance to what you were offering and leave them be,
but he was a monster, not a gentle giant.
 
"Oh no, (Name)! Let's not be greedy, now. Nothing can stop my will to kill each
and every one of them and keep you to myself." His words made your hands curl
up into fist till you felt a stinging pain in your palms. Oh, how you hated
him! You didn't care who he was or what he was, for all you knew, he probaby
came from behind the moon.
 
"Why-" You then remembered what your mother would tell you, "Sometimes, all you
really have to do is say no and stand up for yourself." You pulled back your
tears and shot your head up at the brute, "Try me-I dare you, what's even the
point of trying to threaten me? You'll never feel any better if the only thing
you ever do is watch people suffer, you pitiful beast!"
 
He pulled his head down and laughed like God, "Like mother, like daughter.
Would you truly enjoy being the same person who locked you up in a closet for
hours or who beat you with a broomstick until your wrists turned red? Crashing,
just like your father!" When he saw your shocked expression he flung his head
back and let out a booming laugh. Was he making hints that your father had died
in a car crash?
 
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Each time you screamed out you would bang your
hands at the dirt, not wanting to hear any more from him. You swiftly got up
onto your two feet and quickly ran away from the area. Your heart felt as if it
had gotten broken into thousands of pieces as you slid down the trunk of a
tree. Your wet face was buried in your knees and all you did was weep. You wept
due to the hurtful words he had spat, wept due to the fact that he was right.
And wept since you didn't know what to do to help your endangered friends.
 
You could soon hear a faint saunter coming from behind you, "I was kidding-
I was kidding! You need to learn how to take a joke, pal!" The clown exclaimed,
startling you. You rose to your feet again, this time letting him know that you
were not one to be tampered with.
 
For a moment you only gazed up at him and then you started as if awakened from
a deep thought, "Don't touch me!" His hand reverted back and he had an
intrigued look on his face along with his stupid smirk that filled you with
rage. "I don't care who you think you are, I don't care if you may know every
bit of information about me. But I'll save my friends. I'll protect them and
I'll do it without stooping to your level," You slowly walked towards him, you
were completly incensed. "Because I'm not a heartless fiend like you!"
 
He still held his malicious smirk with half-lidded eyes. Abruptly taking a step
closer to you, and that's when you jumped back with fear. "Whoa, what are you
going to do?!" You asked frightfully, as you studied the monster, as if trying
to discern the meaning of his expression.
 
"Kill me right here?!" You usually didn't care about living...but your friends.
"It'll only prove everything I've said about you was true, that you're
heartless and a fiend." You tried to get under his skin so that he would think
the idea of taking your life would only satisfy your wish. But you knew that he
was smart and was always 100 steps before you. He cocked his head to the side
with a curious expression, still taking small steps towards you as you went
backward.
 
In one quick motion, he leaped upon your body, robust hands around the back of
your head and yours on his back, it seemed to all happen in slow motion but
then your body soon painfully met the ground. His hands were pinned by the
sides of your head and his knees were on either side of yours.
 
You stared up at him with shock, "What the-" soon getting cut off by his index
finger being placed against you're lips.
 
"You need to relax, Mouse. Stress is a beauty killer among you humans." He
deadpanned as his hand stroked your hair, then soon wandered down to your
throat. He clasped his hand around it then violently pushed down, making you
gag.
 
"Humans are so fragile, do you know how easy it would be to crush your larynx
right now, hm? Or would you rather me pleasure you? Hehe..."  You licked your
lips and stared at him for a couple of seconds, soon pushing against his touch
to show him that you weren't afraid. But like always, you knew that he could
see right through your disguise. It was like you were naked right in front of
him, completely exposed and vulnerable. He knew that you were enjoying it and
after a long while of having him pressed up against you and squeezing your
throat till saliva ran down your chin, he got up and you were faced with his
back.
 
"You know, my little Mouse; you should learn how to control that mouth of
yours." 
 
"My name is not Mouse it's (Name)!" You hated it when he called you that, it
was stupid and completely embarrassing.
 
He let out a sigh and shook his head, "Okay, Mouse." God, did he love to mess
with people.
 
"Shut up..." You quietly huffed out and walked away from him. You could feel
him slowly stalking behind you, "Nice place isn't it?" He'd rasp out while
placing a violet in your hair. You rolled your eyes at him in annoyance but
nodded your head to his question. The forest really was nice, you had never
come across it once in Derry. And now that you had begun to take in the true
beauty of the place, you could hear the different animals that sung their
beautiful chours, and the pretty greens of the bushes accompanied with
thousands of colorful flowers and tall cypresses.
 
After endless hours of him subtly touching you here and there and constantly
tossing questions at one another, you finally decided to call it a day once you
took notice of just how dark it had gotten.
 
                                                                               
                                         ♛ 
 
 "Um, (Name) don't you think it's a bit too hot to be wearing on a scarf?"
Beverly asked you. It was evening and the both of you had met at a small,
nearly empty park, now sitting on the swings and talking to each other.
 
"Yeah...but I wear scarfs all the time so it's no biggie." You told her, hoping
that she would soon stray away from the topic.
 
"That's true. So, how has it been with you and your mother lately?" 
 
"Fine, I guess. I just really miss the others you know?" You could feel tears
brimming in your eyes once you had brought up the rest of your friends which
you missed dearly.
 
"Yeah...me too. You know, I saw Richie at the arcade earlier today, he might
still be there." She got off of the swing and picked up her small handbag.
 
"What?! Don't tell me you hope on trying to talk to him!?" You remembered what
Pennywise had told you, he didn't want to see you with them. That meant you
shouldn't have been hanging out with Beverly in the first place. You quickly
lifted your self from the seat of the swing and slowly strayed away from her.
 
"Ah, (Name) where are you going?"
 
"I-I have to do something...I have to...feed my pet turtle." You lied and ran
away from her. Hoping that she wasn't following after you on her bicycle,
wishing that you had bung yours. 
 
You took a sharp turn down a slightly darkened alleyway, gasping for air. You
felt so bad for running away from her, why did you always have to get pushed
around by everyone around you? You shouldn't have listened to what that pitiful
monster had told you to do to begin with, this was simply making matters worse.
 
"Good girl." A velvety voice say. Then you could feel a sensation of something
soft stroking your hair. Like always he was intoxicating and all you could do
was fall for him each time, even if you hated it. You leaned against him, your
hands gripping the chest of his suit.
 
"It...It hurts. Make it stop. Make it stop please." You cried out as tears ran
down your cheeks and plopped onto the cement underneath your feet. Lying to
your friends hurt, being forced to do something you didn't want to hurt. You
wanted it all to be over. Why couldn't it just be over?
 
"Come now, little Mouse. There's no need to fret-Pennywise is here." He
engulfed you in his warmth, "As long as you're with me, everything will be
alright." His words comforted you but you didn't want them to. He was lying. He
was using you for his own selfish pleasures. He'd comfort you when you were
down, then at any moment, he'd strike, and make you feel like a total
lackluster.
 
"I want to go home..." You weakly spoke out getting lost in his blue hues. It
was as if a tar black shadow covered most of his face, and his hair reminded
you of cinders in the dark. You couldn't tell if he were grinning or frowning
from the way his eyes danced with so much emotion. Then in a blink of an eye,
you were placed in your bedroom. You quickly pulled yourself away from him,
feeling grossed out from how close he was to you, and soon seated yourself on
the edge of your bed. 
 
"I-I don't think you should be here, my mother's still home." Even though a
part of you wanted him to stay by your side, a voice in your head kept
screaming no!
 
"Don't worry she just opened the fridge." He stated while taking a seat next to
you. You stared at him with a shocked expression on your face.
 
"You can really hear that?!" He nodded his head to your question with a smile
on his face.
 
"Wow, that's crazy. Can you fly too? Or shoot lasers from your eyes. Oh! Or can
you breathe fire?!" You now had tons of questions to ask him, like if he had a
birthday or if he liked sunny-side ups or scrambled eggs.
 
"Don't you have a mother? Or a loved one?" You felt bad as his smile faltered
once you had asked him that question.
 
"I don't believe so. Maybe I killed her, for all I know." You instinctively
gave him a hug, "Don't worry you, have me." You instantly regretted what you
had said and you knew that he was smiling now.
 
"I know."
 
                                                                               
                                         ♛ 
 
Oh, how you hated how weak you were. Always falling for everyone and being used
as a punching bag. You only hoped that this was a bad dream and prayed that you
would wake up soon, but didn't dare open your eyes for the Devil might've been
right before you. Smiling with his gleaming yellow eyes and coaxing you,
manipulating you with sickly sweet words. Knowing that you would always kneel
once you heard them. Something told you that you weren't his first Mouse or his
last.
 
You were in what seemed to be the forest that Pennywise had taken you to the
same day you saw Bill. But this time the forest was a monochromatic black. The
trees were tall and lanky and frightened you each time you blinked through your
teary eyes. You could make out the silhouette of him. The monster not to far
away from you. You made a sharp turn on your heels and proceeded to run away,
only to feel a pair of claws sinking deeply into the flesh of your shoulders.
Your body was pushed down onto the ground and you could feel a sharp thing
slowly run against your back. You couldn't scream due to the fear that seemed
to freeze your body. Then...
 
"Mouse." He whispered and you soon felt the pointed object sink so deeply and
so painfully into your back, to the point that you thought it had touched your
spine. This intense pain caused you to finally lift up your head and scream as
loud as a banshee.
 
 
You jolted upwards with a shaky breath, looking around the room for the clown.
You could smell his scent, popcorn, peanuts and candy apples lingering in the
air and feel the warmth radiating off of his body. A weird mixture of joy and
dread bubbled in your chest once you noticed that he was laid in bed next to
you. It was weird seeing him sleep, you pressed your face upon his back,
savoring each second of lying next to him.
 
You froze when you felt him begin to stir in his sleep till he was now facing
you. It took you by shock when his arms wrapped around your body. The
nervousness you felt soon subsided and you immediately tightened your grip
around him, forgetting all about the bad dream and burying your face into the
ruffles around his neck which gave you comfort. You could feel his lips gently
brush against the shell of your ear, causing it to feel hot. A chuckle came
from him, then in a quick movement he rolled over so that he was now on top of
you. Both legs splayed apart, pulling the covers over your heads as if the both
of you were in a dark cave together.
 
He playfully nibbled at the tender flesh of your neck making funny eating
sounds which prompted you to laugh at the ticklish feeling. 
 
"Good morning, Penny." He pulled away with a smile on his face.
 
"Good morning my little Mouse." You pouted at the silly name he would always
call you, only for him to attack your ribs with ticklish fingers. Loud laughter
left your mouth as you writhe here and there until you were left panting. You
jumped in surprise when he roughly bit down onto your neck, leaving a similar
marking as the first one he had given you.
 
"Mmm, you taste delicious as always, Sweetie." As the words left his lips he
traced kisses across your jaw then planted a gentle-yet rough one on your lips.
You could feel your heart skip a beat like it always did whenever he kissed
you. His touch against your body was intoxicating. He prodded his nose against
your cheek once the kiss was done. His soft hair brushed against your face and
you could get a good whiff of it. It was like a mixture of candy and blood, a
smell you had gotten used to and loved.
 
You allowed yourself to relax. His hand soon reached up and moved some of your
hair from your face. He caressed his slender fingers down the side of your
cheek, traced your bottom lip then wrapped itself around your throat. Drawing
small circles on the side of it with his thumb.
 
Your lustful sigh caused him to giggle. You stuck out your neck to him again,
wanting him to touch you the same way he did when the two of you were at the
forest. His hand sensually found it's way to your throat again. Your hips
arched towards him, soon lowering them when you felt him rub against you in a
way that was so abnormal to you. You heard him release an inhuman sound near
your ear and continued to hold the pressure on your throat, applying more and
more till you could faintly feel your eyes roll to the back of your head.
 
A gasp for air left you and you soon became scared, once you took notice that
he might really have the intent of strangling you to death.
 
"Pennnny..." You forcefully moaned out, struggling to talk due to the pressure.
 
"Shh, trust me." You could see him smiling as he brought his lips to your ears,
still holding your throat in place with the same pressure.
 
"I want you to trust me-I need you to trust me. Can you do that for me,
(Name)?"
 
Your eyes met his and that's when you sunk into him, "Yes." The pressure was
soon lifted and you gasped for air but you didn't fret. You just laid there,
letting him strangle you as proof of your loyalty. His grin grew larger as you
allowed yourself to lay there in acceptance. But yet, you couldn't stop the
urge of your body struggling and tensing up for air. It was becoming nearly
impossible as your eyes batted when you began to feel woozy.
 
"Relax, my dear. It won't take long." He would whisper in your ear each time
the pressure from his thumb was eased against your larynx.
 
You kept gasping for air, it was a reflex you couldn't control. Same for when
your hands would shoot up to take hold of his when it became too much. You
would soon let your hands limply slip down to your side, letting him have his
way with you. He would cock his head to the side as he shot you a look of
approval before letting go and watching life fill your body back up, over and
over again.
 
You would lay there, still as a rock, "I trust you." You murmured.
 
He flung his head back, his crazed laughter filling the whole bedroom before he
soon stopped and rested his body on yours. His lower body snuggled between your
thighs as your legs wrapped around his waist. As messed up and perverse as it
seemed, for Pennywise it didn't seem to ruffle his feathers one bit. It was as
if he didn't believe that you trusted him at all, and took nothing but great
pleasure from your lies and the torture that he inflicted upon you.
 
He continued to watch you with amazement as he continuously cut your air off.
You assumed that he would wait until you were at your crisis, but he didn't. He
just kept going and going and going. You could feel your head spinning, not
only that but your gasps would turn into violent coughs for air. He could feel
your heart beat double from the pulse of your neck. And boy, did he like that.
 
Even more excitement filled Pennywise, he was on the edge of a feeling he knew
very well. A raw sensation that he would get from killing someone; it was
ecstasy unlike anything else. He was also becoming aroused seeing your face
twist in pain from accepting something so violent, and the way your body
wiggled whenever your mouth gaped open for sweet, precious air. He was at a
dead end, he couldn't choose whether to slaughter you or pleasure you. The urge
had become too much. 
 
His grip tightened even more. He could feel you swallow thickly against his
hand, his look was now one of wonder struck as he watched you. You began to
panic as you groped at his hand, body shaking underneath him. Your controlled
state was soon replaced by fear. Your eyes wide and filled with fright, your
mouth dry and gaping open for air. You could feel yourself fading away as his
laughter filled your ears once again. Tears brimmed in your eyes and then he
finally let go once you thought you were truly done for. You were so close to
blacking out that you were nearly gone beneath him. Your throat stung and your
head was spinning from the lack of oxygen.
 
You could feel him move, yet you paid no attention. Only focused on getting
your own wits back. It wasn't until you felt long digits playing at your inner
thigh. You wanted to close your legs but his strong hands wouldn't let you.
 
He just tried to kill you...stop! You battled with your own mind choosing if
you should let him take you or not. His clawed hand gripped at the hem of your
shorts.
 
How do you think your mother would react if she saw you in such a state?! And
you call yourself a Christian! What was happening was completely blasphemous.
But God! Did it feel so good. Why did he always find ways to manipulate you?
You could hear your shorts ripping, and that's when you snapped out of whatever
trance you were in.
 
"Stop!" You screamed out, quickly closing your legs and shutting your eyes. You
were expecting him to lash out on you or harm you but there was nothing. The
sound of him whining and grumbling was all you heard and then he was gone. It
was as if you had become distasteful to him. You were confused as to why he had
left, but more so, you felt remorse for him. And promised that you would let
him have his way with you next time.
***** Beat Around The Bush *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Bill, (Name)'s been acting really weird lately. Beverly spoke to Bill with a
saddened voice.
 
"Wu-wu-what do you mean?" Bill took his gaze off of the little children playing
at the park and onto Beverly's frowning face. 
 
"Well, yesterday the both of us came to this same park. And once I brought up
Richie...she just ran away. Like she was afraid to see him." There was a long
silence, till Bill finally turned his gaze to the concrete ground.
 
"M-m-maybe her mother doesn't want her to hang around us anymore..." The
thought of the number of friends that both Beverly and him had lost caused the
poor boy to let out a shaky exhale.
 
"No, that doesn't make any sense. Her mother never seemed to have any problems
with her hanging out with us. Why the sudden change now? If you ask me, I think
that this is the doing of It." She said while twirling a daisy around her
finger, "Whatever is happening to her, we need to help her-we're her friends.
We all need to be brought back together, Bill. That's the meaning of
friendship." Bill turned his head to look at the girl, she had tears running
down her red, freckled face. The sight of this prompted Bill to wrap his arms
around the weeping girl's body but Bill knew that what she had said, was very
true.
 
                                                                               
                                 ☪
 
You felt like an alien as you walked into your church. You felt filthy, unpure.
The fact that you had dared walk into the church house after you had let the
Devil touch you all over. You had even made a vow to let him do it again when
you saw him. But did you really want to? More than the shock, the sinfulness,
the forbidden act...there was you and him. And you enjoyed it. 
 
Perhaps there had always been this thing, this demon within you. Or behind your
back, waiting for you to turn around. You shuddered at the thought and
immediately went onto your knees, propelling your elbows onto your bed and
prayed that Monday morning. The same morning where he had touched you. You
prayed for forgiveness, only to turn around once you heard demonic
whispers behind you. You knew that those whispers belonged to your demons, the
demons that seemed to control your body and allowed him to touch you.
 
And now you quickly took a seat on one of the solid church pews next to your
mother. You didn't dare tell her. How could you? She could not have endured it,
or so you told yourself. Maybe you were just cherishing the confidentiality of
it. Kind of like a hidden sin. Perhaps it was always there. Little acts of
wickedness. Harmless of course, something any child would do. You told yourself
it was nothing more than mischief, but you knew it was more. Of course you
did. 
 
You tried to pray once you had reached home, but God didn't answer you. You
dropped onto the floor sobbing at how filthy you were. Could God ever forgive
you? Could God ever make amends for you? Instead of hearing God's voice you
heard another. Smooth and silky like the finest of satin, "Soon child. The
games we'll have."
 
You turned your head around as fast as possible then soon took notice that no
one was behind you. All you did was lay on the cold floor and sob.
 
 
"Hey, (Name). How are you?" Beverly asked with a happy tone on the telephone.
You were tempted to hang up but fought the feeling. "Hey, Bev. I'm fine."
 
"Nice, nice. I wanted to ask if you would like to go shopping with me. You
know, at that small little area the both of us use to go to back in those
days?" You hadn't gone shopping with Beverly in a long time. And you knew your
mother had no desire to currently buy clothes for you. "Okay..." Was all that
left your mouth.
 
"Alright, meet you at the library and we'll take the bus there. Oh, also make
sure to carry some money."
 
"Sure." You soon hung up, deciding if it was a good idea to go shopping with
her. It was just shopping after all. It wasn't like you were going to spend the
night at her place or anything. Even though you knew it was a bad idea to go,
you thought that it was better than getting touched by Pennywise. 
 
So it was settled.
 
                                                                               
                                 ☪    
 
You and Beverly soon arrived at the small shopping area with numerous stores to
indulge your selves in, with a restaurant, and a movie theater. You and Beverly
would always come to this area before all the commotion had happened. Thinking
of those days made you frown, for you had missed them.
 
"Oh, (Name). We should get this friendship charm!" Beverly chirped out as she
held both charms up to you. They were a bright and shiny silver necklace. One
said the word 'Best' and the other said 'Friends' with a beautiful swirl on the
bottom of each word. You touched the charm and looked at it with gleaming eyes.
"Friendship...charm?" You asked in bewilderment.
 "Yeah." She replied with a smile.
 
"Yeah, we should get it." Beverly spent her money on the charms, they were
around $30 but she said that it was no biggie. You wore the piece that said
'Best' and Beverly wore 'Friends'. The necklaces fit the both of you quite well
and when they were joined together they spelled out 'Best Friends'. 
 
The both of you spent the rest of the day trying and buying different clothes.
But one thing made you feel uneasy. Scared to say the most. The feeling of
being watched by someone or something, never seemed to leave you. Even when you
were in the changing booths you felt eyes on you or when you were eating ice
cream with Beverly you felt them on you.
 
Maybe it's just your mind playing tricks on you. But that couldn't explain why
you kept seeing a tall bulky figure in the corner of your eyes when you went to
H&M.
 
Or maybe it was Pennywise, waiting for you to reach home and punish you in the
worst way possible. As you sat in the bus next to Beverly, you could feel just
how sweaty your palms had begun to get. You wanted to tell Beverly. You really
wanted to. But could you really? Could she endure it? 
 
"(Name), are you okay? You're sweating." You quickly wiped at your forehead
with the back of your hand and chuckled nervously once you saw the sweat.
 
"Yeah..I'm fine. It's just kinda stuffy in here." Another lie! Why couldn't you
stop with the lies?! 
 
Beverly, help me... You clutched onto her cream-colored floral shirt with a
strong death grip, staring up at her with teary eyes. "B-B-Beverly..." You
groaned out to your best friend. The ginger-haired girl stared at you with
shock whilst your hands began to tremble but the grip on her shirt didn't
falter. 
 
"It...It tortured me, Beverly. It-It persecuted me...It-" Before you could tell
her the rest you soon found yourself furiously shaking your head and when you
opened your closed eyes...It was like nothing had happened. You sat there, next
to Beverly who calmly stared out of the window and you could faintly feel a
tear run down one of your eyes.
 
"Ah...we're here." Beverly said as the both of you got up and stepped out of
the bus. Once you saw your house your heart dropped.
 
"Um, Beverly can you....maybe spend the night at my place?" You asked her
urgently.
 
"No can do, (Name). I should've told my dad earlier on." You chewed the insides
of your cheek and slowly walked near the house.
 
Shit! Your mother opened the front door for you to enter and told Beverly
goodbye. You quickly made your way upstairs, locked your bedroom door, and
grabbed one of the pointy scissors you had on your counter. You knew that he
was coming, you just didn't know when.
 
You held the scissors firmly to your side and proceeded to take out the clothes
that you had bought with Beverly from the shopping bag. A cold wave overwhelmed
your body then you felt a chilly draft come from behind you. You quickly turned
around and ran towards your open window, immediately slamming it shut and
shuddering from the creepiness.
 
You could soon hear loud banging and scratching coming from your closet. Like
somebody was stuck inside of it and was trying to bang and claw their way out.
You were tempted to run towards your bed and hide underneath your covers. But
didn't. Instead, you slowly crept towards the loud closet and held the scissors
up to your head, getting ready to strike. The banging and scratching soon
stopped. Leaving you mindlessly standing in front of the closet still holding
the scissors and keeping your alert high.
 
"So, how long are you going to stand there, enticing me with your scent?" Asked
an annoyed voice behind you. You quickly swirled around to now aim your
scissors at the sickening clown. He always knew just how scared you were. But
to be honest, who couldn't tell? You were sweating, chest heaving up and down
and your grip on the scissors was now wobbly once you had laid eyes upon the
Devil.
 
"D-don't come in closer!" You warned him while trying to keep your handle on
the scissors still. He soon elegantly slid off of your bed and was now looming
over you.
 
"You're gonna have to aim a bit higher." He stated once he saw that the
scissors were aimed at his pelvis. You quickly aimed it higher, this time at
his chest. But you soon regretted it, because now you could clearly see his
intimidating scowl.
 
"I told you already, Little Mouse. I don't want to see you hanging around those
Losers'. Are you trying to make Pennywise jealous?" He asked while puffing up
his pale cheeks, then his behavior instantly turned into a threating one. His
smile disappeared and he seemed to be glaring into your soul with his piercing
yellow eyes. You swung the scissors left to right and slowly moved backwards,
completely petrified.
 
"Get away from me!" Tears slid down your wet face as you watched him slowly
make his way towards you each time you took a step back. His terrorizing smile
quickly grew back on his face once he had gotten the reaction he wanted out of
you.
 
"Now, listen here (Name). I'm not going to hurt-"
 
"Get away!" You loudly interrupted him, still swinging the scissors at his
chest but not managing to pierce him. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just
going to smash your pretty little face in..." His voice grew deeper and his
dark smile didn't falter as he took steps closer to you.
 
You shrieked once your back soon met the cold wall. And once it did his hand
shot forward and grabbed hold of your bruised neck. The scissors dropped from
your quivering hands and you could feel your feet slowly leaving the ground
beneath you. You felt the need to pee on yourself when you were finally face to
face with him.
 
"This is the last and final time I'll tell you this, I do not want to see you
with those kids again! Or I swear I will rip every single one of their throats
out-right in front of you, and whisper in their ears..."  His mouth came closer
to your ear, "All the nothingness I've done to you." Your breath hitched and he
let out a throaty laugh, soon letting go of your neck and abruptly sinking his
claws into your arm.
 
You let out a shrill cry of pain as you felt the unbearable agony. You tried to
pull away but then stopped once a thought hit you. He might've ripped off your
whole arm! He soon pulled away and licked at the bloodied spot that left
numerous huge holes in your arms which slightly curved all the way to the back
of your it. The sight of this made you feel sick in the gut.
 
"W-why'd you do that for?!" You groaned out looking at the scar and panting. 
 
"To show your little friends that you belong to me. Starting from today I don't
want to see you trying to hid them." Your jaw hit the ground at what he said.
 
"What if my mother sees them?!" You panicked to which his toothed smile only
grew bigger at.
 
"I'm sure she'll only think that you harmed yourself again." You let out an
angered grumble then jumped when he ruffled the hair on your head, making it
messy.
 
"Now, you be a good mouse or I'll have to give you an even worse punishment
than before." He waited for you to say something then when he realized you
weren't he took hold of your jaw.
 
"Okay, Pennywise." He mimicked your voice while opening and closing your mouth
like some kind of puppet. He smiled at you once more before stalked back into
the darkness leaving you bewildered, frightened and in shock. 
Chapter End Notes
     I know this chapter is really short, I've been really busy lately.
     I'll try to upload at least once a week.
***** Pushing Up Daisies *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
 
Night- 9:00 PM
 
You walked into your bedroom, previously from getting a scolding from your
mother due to the markings on your body. Which of course, she thought were
self-harm induced. Once you quietly closed your bedroom door you saw one of
your razors on top of your drawer. It was as if the razor had talked to you
saying, "Hello, remember me?" 
 
You picked it up then slowly walked into the bathroom, not bothering to close
the door. Cutting was always seen as a way to cope with the pain of strong
emotions or intense pressure to you. Most people would say that it was a bad
way of coping with the pain but your mother for one didn't seem to care. She'd
always take one look at them and simply go back to what she was doing. 
 
Now, you stood in front of the mirror twidling the razor between your
fingers. Pain. It was as if that was the only thing you could feel, other than
sorrow. Maybe you should just finally end it all? End all the pain. So that you
wouldn't have to wake up each morning, only to wish that you didn't. So you
wouldn't have to feel worthless and replaceable all the time.
 
You brought the broad razor to your neck. The feeling that you knew very well
met the skin of your throat; coldness. You pressed hard enough till your skin
broke and that's when you swiftly jerked at the razor. Numbness was all you
felt as you watched the red liquid pool down your shirt and splatter onto the
floor beneath your feet. And when your eyes closed you were met with the inky
darkness, you could see your friends. Their bright smiles faded and gone, all
because of you.
 
Your eyes slowly opened and your gaze met the mirror, looking right at your
reflection. Your ugly reflection. Then it went down to the small clean razor
blade in your hand. You hated yourself for not actually slitting your throat
but you knew deep down that you had to protect your friends.
 
Instead of cutting at your neck, you brought the razor to the spot you would
always inflict pain upon. Your arms. The feeling of it slicing at your skin and
watching as the redness began to show was pure bliss. As if you were getting
high, not off of weed, no-but off of the pain. A sigh left your mouth as you
made another cut, then another one, and another one...
 
"You're doing it wrong. If you're trying to kill yourself cut vertically, you
can't stitch that up..." Said a voice behind you. You looked into the
mirror and saw the Devil, leaning on the door frame with a macabre smile on his
bright red lips.
 
"What are you doing here?!" You asked with shock as you fully turned around to
look at him while trying to cover the cuts with your hand.
 
"...If you're trying to kill yourself, you might also try locking the door." He
laid his gloved hand upon the doorknob then slowly closed it without breaking
eye contact with you. You seemed to have been staring at the closed door for
hours until you finally turned back to the sink and washed up the razor along
with your cuts. Drying them with a paper towel then walking out of the bathroom
and into your bedroom. 
 
The clown was nowhere to be found. Was he mocking you? Did he really want you
to kill yourself? Of course he did, he wants every member of the Losers' Club
dead and you were one of them! He wanted you tosuffer. He obviously didn't give
a rat's ass if you ended your life. In fact, he hardly seemed to care about
you. He only cared for the thrill of all the commotion that was happening. He
had only a hunger for the experience of it, one that was devastating and tragic
to all the other players in his little game.
 
Sleep was probably what you need right now, and then maybe you could hang out
with your friends tomorrow? 
 
No, stupid you can't! Pennywise said not to!
 
That small voice in your head shouted at you as you turned off your bedroom
light and snuggled underneath the warmth of your covers.
 
You hated him for not letting you be with them. How could you hang out with
them anyway? He demanded that you wore shirts to expose the markings that he
had inflicted upon you? He had said that you had something called the
'Shining'. What in the world was it suppose to be? Did the other have it to? He
ate children did he not? Maybe the 'Shining' made them taste better and he was
trying to savour your rare taste by drinking your blood? Kill all your friends
then leave you last? Maybe your friends had the 'Shining' too and it was a
threat to him? Perhaps that was why he wanted to dispose of them so quickly.
 
All these thoughts made you realize just how weak you truly were. That's
probably why he picked you for himself because you were so weak and pathetic.
The easiest out of the bunch to catch. Oh, it was excruciating, the fact of how
frail you were. Maybe you could prove him wrong, prove to him that you weren't
as fickle as he thought you were. Perhaps even prove to yourself. Prove that
little voice in your head that kept calling you different types of names. Or
saying that Pennywise would kill you without a second thought. 
 
You had your friends at your side and that's what mattered. Sure, not all of
them would be with you, but they would always be there for you. And that's what
mattered. They were the thing that prevented you from bringing the razor to
your neck, or blowing ten shots in your brain, or overdosing on pills. They
were the pinnacle of all of this drama to you. You entered this battle as a
slave to the clown, but there's no way in hell you're leaving it as one. 
 
                                                                               
                                           ♣
 
Morning
 
You threw on a light sweater that slightly showed a bit of the markings on your
neck but it was perfect, perfect for them to see what he had done to you. You
told your mother goodbye then hopped onto your bicycle. You prayed to God and
to Buddha that Beverly and Bill were already at the arcade which you told them
to meet you at when you phoned them. Maybe being in a place crowded with people
was a safer choice of environment.
 
"Guys-follow me!" You urgently said, not bothering to put a lock on your
bicycle. Beverly and Bill seemed to notice the scars on your collarbone and
your neck as you turned around to walk into the noisy arcade full of children
and teenagers eating and playing different arcade games. Inside the arcade was
dark yet bright from the light that emitted off of the colorful screens that
tempted you to go up to and play a quick game of Pac-Man, yet you refrained
from doing so, knowing that it could be anywhere, watching you and getting
ready to strike.
 
The lot of you walked to an unoccupied area in the arcade which was a good
distance from the buzzing kids. You quickly pulled up your sleeve and showed
them the red holes on your arm which had slightly dark hues around each of
them. Beverly pulled a hand up to her mouth as she let out a loud gasp while
Bill cringed as he held up your arm to get a better look at them. 
 
"(Name)...w-w-who did this to you?" He asked with concern on his face. 
 
Don't tell them. Don't tell them (Name), just say it was your mother or your
GIANT pet turtle did it.! Say it-say it!
 
No, you had already shown them it, now was your change. "It...It did this to
me..." You gulped thickly as you saw dread in Beverly's eyes and anger in
Bill's.
 
"Th-th-that fucking clown. It killed my brother...now it wants my friends."
Bill angrily said then calmed down once Beverly gave his hand a small squeeze.
Beverly took a look at your neck then her pupils met yours.
 
"(Name)...why didn't you tell us?" Her voice was filled with sorrow as you
looked down onto the ground in shame. You should have told them from the start,
you should've.
 
"It said it would have killed you guys. It said it would have tortured me then
kill me if I told you guys..." You wiped your teary eyes and sniffled as
Beverly gave you a tight hug along with Bill.
 
"I'm so so sorry guys. I was stupid. He played with my mind and screwed me up.
I won't let it happen again." 
 
"It's okay (Name). It's okay. W-w-we're your friends, we'll always stay by your
side." Bill spoke as he and Beverly pulled away from the hug. You smiled at
them. Yet you still cried inside, knowing that you'll never have the guts to
tell them that Pennywise had touched you. And that you liked it.
 
Later on, the group of you played different games on the arcades and ate
burgers and corndogs and sweets. Yet you felt bad for knowing that Beverly and
Bill were the ones paying for everything since you had forgotten your money at
home. Around 12:00 AM you started to regret telling them that Pennywise was
keeping you captive. With the horrible thoughts of what he would do to you once
you reached home and the voice in your head steadily growing stronger, how
could you not worry? All you could do was fake a smile yet you were frowning
inside.
 
What's the matter? Didn't you want to be with your friends?! Now you are, don't
you dare start crying you stupid bitch. Oh, and remember...you're so dead when
you reach home! The stupid voice reminded you with a giggle.
 
"Shut up..." You whispered as you squeezed the joystick of the arcade game in
between your sweaty palm and tightly shut your eyes to prevent the tears from
spilling. You heard a familiar voice behind you and when you turned around you
nearly gasped. It was Richie! The sight of him raging over a game that he was
playing was enough you make the tears finally pour out as your feet
automatically made their way towards him.
 
"Richie!" You cried out. He seemed stunned when he saw you and silently cursed
once he realized that he had died in the game. "(Name)..." He weakly said,
fully turning towards you. You pulled him into a tight hug not caring if your
snot and tears got onto his navy blue shirt. You couldn't control the cries
that left your mouth and your grip on him got tighter once he hesitantly
wrapped his arms around you.
 
"God, it's just been so long since I've seen you." You pulled away from him and
wiped your eyes only to bring your face down onto the palms of your wet hands
as your snivels filled his ears. 
 
"Uh...Um-uh! You...you don't have to cry (Name)! I know it's been a long time,
but don't cry over me. I know I'm awesome but, you don't have to cry!" He
started to frantically shake his hands in front of you then immediately stopped
once he took notice that your tears weren't stopping. He soon did the only
thing that he could think of. He wrapped his arms around your quivering body
again and accepted the fact that your tears and snot would be on his navy blue
shirt. He couldn't help but notice the purple bruises on your neck. Once you
stopped crying you pulled away from him and rubbed your eyes.
 
"Are you okay? Did something happen to you?" He pointed to the bruises to which
you lightly clasped your hands over and avoided eye contact with him. He was
your friend after all, it was best you told him.
 
"It gave me them." You boldly stated while removing your hands so he could see
them. You also showed him the holes in your arm. His mouth was left agape as he
watched them.
 
"(Name)...do the others know this?" He questioned, averting his gaze back to
your face. You nodded your head at his question.
 
"Yeah. There're here right now." Richie grabbed your hand while looking you in
the eyes, "Show me where they are!"
 
                                                                               
                                      ♣
 
"G-guys...I'm too afraid to sleep at my home. Can I spend the night at one of
your houses?" You asked while you slowly walked next to your bicycle, holding
onto the handlebars. At this point, everyone knew about your secret. Even the
previous members of the clique, Ben, Stanley, Eddie and Mike who now walked
with you.
 
"W-w-well you could spend the night at my place," Bill said. "I'll give you one
of my shirts to borrow if you need it."
 
"Wow, Bill's falling in love already." Eddie joked earning a mean glance from
Beverly. You looked over at the boy who now had a cast around the arm that had
gotten broken at the Neibolt House.
 
"It's for her safety!" Beverly angrily said to the laughing boy.
 
"I wish I could come..." Ben stated as he kicked a small pebble that was on the
ground.
 
"Me too, but I got synagogue practice tomorrow." Stanley said.
 
"The hell is that?" Richie questioned the boy.
 
"A church for Jewish people, Richie." Stanley informed Richie, sounding quite
annoyed. It was crazy, how all of you had reunited back so quickly. And now you
felt much safer knowing that you had your friends to protect you. Yet you still
felt awful for not telling them what had happened that day with you and
Pennywise. You were also frightened, knowing that your mother would be pissed
once she found out that you were missing. Then you would fumble for an
explanation, get a beating and finally get thrown into the Bad Girls Closet.
You'd rather risk all that instead of getting your life taken from a killer
clown.
 
You're not a true friend. You don't even have the guts to tell them. Maybe
he'll just pay a little visit to Bill's house tonight, and snatch you away!
Then, you'll have no friends.
 
The voice in your head laughed at you as you pressed your hand to your head,
trying to desperately get the voice out. After some time of chit chatting with
your friends, everyone soon parted different ways to go home. It was 6 PM after
all, they had to get their rest. You only hoped for them to be safe.
 
Bill's house was a decent 2 story home and you were greeted by his friendly
mother once you had made it to the front of the door. 
 
"Wow, this place is so pretty." You said while placing your shoes at the door.
 
"Th-th-thanks." Bill smiled at you as he walked into the kitchen. "Hey, d-d-do
you want to watch a couple of movies until we get tired?" He took out a bag of
microwave popcorn, something you haven't eaten in a long time.
 
"Of course! But first, can I take a quick shower?" You asked, feeling stupid
because you didn't bring any pajamas.
 
"Sure, I'll l-l-let you borrow one of my mom's dresses and I'll bring a towel
up fu-fu-for you. Bathroom's upstairs to the right." You made your way to the
bathroom, soon the voice that you hated so much came to give you some more
advice.
 
Stupid slut. Spending the night at Bill's house. What are you going to do? Tell
him to touch you like Pennywise did? Don't worry darling, I'm sure he'll be
back, real soon.
 
You loudly gasped once you heard a knock at the closed door. You opened it and
saw Bill covering his eyes and sticking out the towel and the pink nightgown to
you. You giggled at what he was doing and took the towel from him, giving him a
'thanks' and finally closing the door.
 
You undressed and quickly took a 5-minute shower. The feeling of being watched
grew stronger and stronger. You knew he was coming you knew it. You turned off
the running shower then froze in your tracks. What if you pulled the shower
curtain and he was behind it? Waiting to crush your neck and stick his claws
into your belly? Tears brimmed in your eyes as you watched your shaky hand move
towards the curtain, proceeding to pull it to the side. Only for your other
hand to pull it back to your chest. 
 
"L-leave me alone..." You cried out then mustered up all the confidence you had
and pulled the baby blue shower curtain to the right. Sighing in relief once
you noticed that Pennywise wasn't there. 
 
After you dried your body and put on the nightgown you quickly ran downstairs
and placed your clothes in a white plastic bag to carry back home tomorrow.
Bill sat on the couch with the TV remote in his hand. 
 
"Yo-yo-you look nice." Bill smiled at you as you took a seat next to him,
"Thanks." The rest of the night you and Bill watched different types of movies.
Some comedy some drama some action but the one you dreaded to watch the most
was horror. You forced yourself to watch Poltergeist even though Bill asked if
you were okay with watching a horror. After the terrifying clown scene, Bill
decided to take off the movie since you were gripping onto his shirt and
trembling. 
 
After that, you two just stuck with watching Raider Of The Lost Ark, laughing
from time to time when a character did something stupid. Bill eventually fell
asleep and you soon found yourself getting tired as well. But you didn't want
to go to sleep, the scary clown scene from the horror movie kept playing in
your head over and over again. Yet your eyelids grew heavier and heavier. Bill
was here to protect you nothing would go wrong. You simply snuggled up closer
to him and let the sleepiness take over your body.
 
The sound of loud creaking arose you from your sleep. You looked around the now
pitch black living room since the TV had somehow turned off, and Bill was still
next to you, snoring peacefully. The loud creaking was heard again, but this
time it was closer to you. You quickly shook Bill awake told him about the
sound in a whisper. Bill quickly got up and checked inside of the kitchen and
closets for the sound. 
 
"C-c-come on, (Name). Let's go to my bedroom." You quickly followed after Bill
up the stairs. He opened his bedroom door and turned on the light. His scent
filled your nostrils and you automatically felt at ease as he closed the door.
You took a seat next to him on his soft blue bed, crossing your legs over the
other. 
 
"You okay?" He asked with concern.
 
"Yeah, I'm fine I just heard a weird sound." You instinctively looked back at
the closed door, afraid of what might be behind it. You worried about Bill's
parents. Would It kill them? You refrained from asking him, the question
might've scared him.
 
"If you hear anything e-e-else just tell me okay?" He yawned out.
 
"I think we should go to bed now." You said.
 
"Okay, I'll s-s-sleep on the floor." Bill proceeded to go onto the ground but
you quickly placed your hand upon his which stopped him. You tried to turn your
face away from him in embarrassment. But this only caused a funny feeling to
grown within your stomach.
 
"No...I-I want you to sleep with me." He seemed shocked at first then slowly
went back onto the bed. He turned off the small lamp on his dresser then
snuggled underneath the covers with you.
 
"Good night, Bill." You turned your back to him and he did the same.
 
"Good night, (Name)."
 
                                                                               
                                      ♣  
 
You can see him, can't you? He's been waiting for you all day, (Name). It was a
good thing you wore your Sunday best. You were surrounded by nothing but
darkness, you could see him, the clown standing a few feet away from you. And
what you were wearing, a beautiful white dress that flowed at the bottom,
reminding you of a flower. As you looked back up at him, he seemed to have
gotten closer to you, you didn't want him near you. But yet a part of you did. 
 
Could this be your demons?
 
You wanted to run but your foot wouldn't budge, your mind was screaming no but
your body was saying yes and the little voice in your head couldn't sound any
happier once Pennywise was now standing in front of you. You looked down at
your feet, down at the white sparkly flats you wore, trembling. Don't touch me,
don't touch me, please. You thought as you felt his hands softly stroke against
your hair.
 
Please touch me, please touch me, please.
 
His fingers, like graceful Caladenia elegans, danced down your neck and across
the bruises he had given you. His hand swiftly pulled your chin up to look him
dead in the eyes. You wanted to scream when you saw how his yellow eyes begun
to prod out of his sockets and the way his face had moved upward as if
something was pushing the flesh forward. You watched in fear as his mouth split
open like a Demogorgon's revealing rows and rows of razor sharp teeth and long
strings of saliva. And then the folds that use to be his face came closing down
onto your face till you saw only darkness and the sounds of your loud cries
were all you received. 
 
You grabbed at your chest, squeezing the nightgown with panic. Your heart was
racing and you were completely sweaty. You looked around the room for Bill but
he was nowhere to be found. Where is he?! Where could he be?! Did Pennywise get
him?! All these thoughts ran through your head hurting it along the way. You
soon calmed down and removed your hand from the death grip on the nightgown.
Maybe he was just downstairs, eating breakfast and waiting for you to come.
 
You slowly walked into the bathroom then mentally face-palmed when you
remembered you had no toothbrush. Maybe you would have to just brush your teeth
with your finger? Gross. Your eyes met the toothbrush holder. And that's once
you noticed there had been a toothbrush that said your name on it with Bill's
handwriting. You reached for the toothbrush and felt a smile tug at your lips
along with hotness rushing past your cheeks. Did you...have feelings for him?
More than just a friend?
 
 
"Alright, goodbye Bill. Talk to you later." You waved to him and his mother,
then finally got upon your bicycle and rode back home. They were so kind,
although you didn't get to see his dad since he had been busy with work, you
knew he had such caring parents. You couldn't shake the fact that you slept
with him. Twice! Once on the couch and again on his bed! He was the first boy
you had ever done that with! The thought of him brought butterflies to your
stomach. You didn't care if you were to get a beating when you had gotten home,
or get thrown into the Bad Girl's Closet. You'll endure it and smile, knowing
that yesterday was probably one of the best days of your life. 
 
"(Name), where have you been?" Your mother asked while holding the broomstick
in her hand. Her face was scrunched up in anger. 
 
"I was at a friend's house! Beverly's house! No need to get so angry, I was
really tired and could hardly ride my bicycle so she decided I sleep at her
place." You lied hoping that she wouldn't pressure you with any more questions.
 
She squinted at you before talking, "Hands out." You showed her the palms of
your hand, then she gave you five painful hits with the wooden broomstick. She
pushed you into the Bad Girls Closet, locking the door and turning the lights
on so you could see your reflection. Your hideous reflection.
 
You're so ugly and pathetic.
 
Who would ever want you?
 
You should just die! Die!
 
You spend the rest of the day curled up in the corner of the room with your
head rested between your knees so you wouldn't look at your own reflection.
Bill would never want you. How could you have thought such silly things at his
house? He deserves someone better than you...like...like...
 
Beverly.
 
Yes! Like Beverly! Your stomach loudly grumbled and you could smell food from
the kitchen. Chicken soup? The smell was so intoxicating that you soon found
yourself drooling.
 
The closet door was abruptly opened by your mother. You could see that she held
a bowl of what you were guessing to be the chicken soup.
 
"Here you go." Instead of getting soup, you had been given cold, hard porridge
from your mother. She soon closed the door, leaving you to stare at the bowl
with tears in your eyes.
 
Hate. You hate her don't you?
 
Yes, you hated her. For everything she's done to you. For even giving birth to
you! No, hate was too strong of a word. Dislike is more appropriate. You stared
at the bowl and poked at the porridge, wishing it were hot and steamy instead
of cold and brittle.
 
She had finally let you out of the closet 10:00 PM which wasn't like her. She
never kept you in the closet for so long, most time up to three hours or four
but this time she kept you in there morning to night? You couldn't help but
notice the errie smile she held on her face as she watched you walk out of the
closet. Once you were out of her view, you ran up the stairs and locked your
bedroom door. That wasn't your mother that was It! And you had to escape! You
frantically looked around the bedroom for anything to help you escape through
the open window. Your bed sheets! You quickly grabbed them and tied them to
together like how you would tie your shoes. Making sure to double tie them for
extra strength. 
 
After tying two more covers to the bed sheets you had to tie it to something
strong. The leg of the bed! Just as you begun to tie it you heard loud yet slow
footsteps coming towards your bedroom.
 
"Here piggy piggy piggy. Don't worry, I'll walk slowly so that you can have
more time to escape!" Said the voice that belonged to the person or thing you
wished had never existed. Before you could put one foot out of the window the
door was slammed open, revealing Pennywise with a devilish smirk on his face.
 
"Nah ah ah..." He wagged a finger at you in a teasing way then charged at you,
exposing those sharp teeth that made your hair stand on edge. You couldn't move
on time, and he quickly grabbed you by your hair. He pushed you onto the ground
and towered over your body. 
 
"I'm sorry, please just leave me-" Before you could finish your sentence he
violently grabbed the collar of your shirt, then pulled you up to his face.
 
"You just don't listen do you?! Another problem after the other, isn't it?!"
 
You could feel your legs dangling and the look on his face didn't make you feel
any better, "I'll make sure you never see them again. Never see anyone again
for that matter..."
 
Then he opened up his mouth so wide till you were unable to see his face
anymore. The rows of teeth in his gaping mouth made your heart beat so loudly
that you knew he could hear it. You knew that this was the end, just like in
your dreams. But instead of him chomping your head clean off, you saw a bright
yellow light and heard the screams of unknown people. You felt as if you were
floating until finally...you were dead?
Chapter End Notes
     Happy New Years! May this year bring joy and blessings to you!
     I'll try to upload at least once or twice a week from now on. Also, I
     got a little inspired by AHS in this chapter.
***** Actions Speak Louder Than Words *****
Your eyes batted as your hand slowly slid across the hard, cold rocky ground.
Weren't you in your bedroom? You groaned as you fully opened your eyes, then
quickly got up-a bit too quickly-only to fall back down to your knees.
Dizziness hit you straight in the head like a concussion as you held onto your
throbbing forehead. You didn't know where you were, and it seemed to be morning
from the small bit of sunlight that stuck out from a gaping hole, not too far
away from you, in the ceiling.
 
Flashbacks soon came running to you as you remembered what happened the night
before. The Devil himself had paid you a visit, and you had...died? Maybe this
was hell and you were simply a wandering soul now. What had mostly caught your
attention was the humongous stack of garbage in the middle of the clearing. And
at the pinnacle of it, were numerous floating children. Once you saw that, you
had begun to doubt that you were dead. 
 
You slowly got up and tightly clutched at your chest. Perhaps this was
Pennywise's liar and he was somewhere in the shadows getting ready to tear you
apart? The thought of this made you're breathing uneven as you walked towards
the small ray of sunlight emitting from the ceiling. Your surroundings were
completely dark, and the only source of light had come from this tiny hole. 
 
You looked up at the ceiling and you could see through the small hole that it
led to outside. This gave you a bit of hope, reassuring that you weren't dead
nor in hell. A shaky breath left your mouth as the sinking feeling in your
stomach reduced. You stuck your hand out to feel the bit of sunlight against
your flesh. It felt warm and syrupy, like rich honey. It felt so good, that you
had wished you could've stripped and sunbathed, if only there were more light.
You soon removed your hand, it instantly felt cold again as you looked around
the place for an exit.
 
Worry was displayed on your face as you soon found your self spinning in
circles as you frantically looking for a way out, any way out. Then, like a
shiny glimmer in the darkness, your eyes met a huge drain pipe. Your legs
automatically made way towards it. You simply wanted to get out of the
disturbing place. The sound of bells jingling filled your ears, and you knew
who it had belonged to. Before you could even touch the stone of the pipe,
Pennywise had leaped in front of you. In the blink of an eye, he grabbed a
fistful of your collar, which earned loud whimpers from you when you felt your
feet leave the ground. 
 
Pennywise had a pissed yet cocky look on his face as he held you. He stared at
your sniveling form with contempt for the longest while before he soon begun to
harass you with condemnations that sent shivers down your spin, and not in a
good way. Then, with a swiftness that baffled you, he abruptly flung you onto
the ground with rage. "Well...it was to be expected. You, running back to your
friends for help. But honestly, did you really think that that would save you?
You foolish girl!" You simply hung your head and stayed silent. You knew
already that he would've gotten to you somehow, and if the others were to find
you, you'd most likely be dead or worse...he'd tell them about what he had done
to you on that day, then kill them.
 
His scowl soon faltered and turned into a smirk, "Aww, I can tell you're still
sore, aren't you? You haven't even the guts to tell your little friends!" He
let out a wild laugh as he watched you sit there, and sulk. "It does make sense
since you shamelessly enjoyed it." His head was thrown back as his obnoxious
laughter filled your ears.
 
"S-shut up..." You murmured in hatred. Everything went silent, "Just...shut up
and die!" A yelp left your mouth when the clown had flung his body upon yours.
His hands on both sides of your head and his knees apart from yours, you felt
scared and embarrassed at the same time.
 
He was extremely close to you, to the point that your noses touched. His big
yellow eyes dilated and seemed to glow with a fiery passion before resting upon
yours, then soon trailing down to your heaving chest. 
 
"Bessst..." He said like a snake as he read from the silver necklace around
your neck. His gloved hand slowly trailed up, past your breasts and locked a
finger onto the half hearted symbol of the necklace. In a swift motion the
necklace was pulled off your neck and thrown somewhere in the darkned place.
Your eyes widened and you could hear the beating of your pounding heart in your
tight chest once the necklace was finally out of your sight. The necklace that
meant so much to both you and Beverly.
 
You were in a frenzy, not yourself. You soon found yourself spitting curses at
him in the most ill-suited ways, your face was wet and felt hot and your mouth
felt completey dry from screaming. Your hands hurt from banging on his hard
chest and all he did was stare and smile at you patiently.
 
It went silent and the only thing you that filled your ears were the beating of
your own broken heart and your pants for sweet air. And then that's when he
finally spoke, "I know the perfect punishment for naughty girls like you..."
Once those words had left his mouth, you instantly felt dread drop onto you
like a heavyweight. His hand skimmed past your chest and rested onto your
exposed belly. "I'll give you something worse than death." His smirk grew when
he felt how fast your stomach went up and down, and before you let out a cry,
you felt a sharp object piercing your tender flesh.
 
A loud hiss left your lips and when you looked down you saw that he now had
pointy claws that threating to sink into your stomach. "No...please...don't."
You cried out as you looked him in the eye. He didn't care much for your
feelings, rather his main focus was on the reaction that he got out of you. And
you gave it to him. Unwillingly, of course, it just came out of you.
 
The claws went deeper and deeper into your stomach. You didn't know how deep,
but the pain was excruciating. "Oh, god! Please stop!" You begged for the
zillionth time. 
 
"Say it..." He said while twisting his claws to the side, causing you to
slightly curl up your body and let out a loud scream. It felt as if some one
had stabbed a million times with a pait of scissors into your and had begun to
drag them along your skin.
 
"I don't know wha-" Before you could finish your sentence, he twisted at the
bloody mess yet again, enjoying the sounds of your echoing cries. The warm
struggling from you was very much soothing to the tension of his hands. And he
soon begun to grow excited. Your nails were unsmooth and hurt from constantly
scratching at the fabric on his arms, and all he did was smile and smile.
 
"Stop it! Stop it-stop it-stop it!"
 
He abruptly pulled his claws out of you and smiled with his everlasting grin
and his half-lidded eyes. "Okay..." He leaned in close to your face so you
couldn't see what he was to do with his claws. "You tell me that you enjoyed
it. Enjoyed what I had done to you that Monday morning! It's not that big of a
conundrum." Giggles left his mouth once he saw the petrified expression on your
face. 
 
After some time he had grown bored of your silence and suddenly jabbed his
claws at the throbbing wound. You winced and bit your bottom lip to prevent any
nose from emitting, "I...I hated it!" 
 
"I love listening to lies when I know the truth." His claws gripped at the
deep, bloody holes and pulled the skin upwards with the end of his claws. You
shrieked in pain and buried your face into the ruffles around his neck so that
he wouldn't hear you scream. So that he wouldn't get the satisfaction that he
wanted. He pushed you back onto the ground and you stared up at him in disgust
when you saw the long lines of drool that begun to hang out of his mouth.
 
"Say it, or I'll rip this measly flesh off and eat it!" His growl filled your
ears and right when you thought he was about to finally rip the skin off, the
words left your mouth.
 
"I liked it...I did!" Everything went silent, then loud pants filled your ears,
and you could feel his saliva falling onto your closed eyelids. Once you had
opened your eyes, you were horrified. His mouth was wide and gaping and you
could see trillions of sharp teeth right in front of your face. His whole face
was pulled all the way back, to the point that you couldn't even see his eyes.
 
Before you could let out a shrill scream, his hand shot forward and covered
your opened mouth. Your body was shaking underneath him, like a single leaf on
a windy day. His mouth soon closed in a slow, unnatural way, and you were able
to see his naturally pale face again. His claws had gone away as well and you
watched in horror the sight, how his hair had gone uneven from his sweating and
the way his eyes had glowed so brightly. 
 
"Jeez, were you trying to drive me crazy just now, Little Mouse? I could've
eaten you alive!" He soon removed his gloved hand from your mouth and let out a
'Pfft' once he saw the terrorized look on your face. "Oh, relax. It's not like
I really had the intentions of killing you," He slowly got up and you were
faced with his back. He stared at the blood that covered his whole glove for a
long time, "Or, maybe I did." He voiced quietly as you struggled to get up. 
 
You were unable to contain the weeps that left you while you stumbled to stand
up. A hand clasping the bloody wound, and your feet soon gave way before you,
causing you to clumsily stumbled into Pennywise's broad back. "Come, Little
Mouse." He grabbed a fistful of your hair and dragged you behind him like a dog
on a leash.
 
"Ouuch!" You moaned out in pain as you quickly got to your feet and scratched
at his gloved hand. "Hurry up." He called to you from inside of the dark drain
pipe. You slowly walked in after him, completely forgetting about the bleeding
wound, as you were greeted with complete darkness and a horrible smell from the
inside of it.
 
The sound of mouses squeaking caused you to jump and hold onto something
warm. His hand. It was hard to believe that such a cruel creature was warm to
the touch, or perhaps he was just making himself feel that way just to your
liking? He quickly guided you through the darkness as you covered your nose
with the rim of your shirt. You could hardly see anything, but he could. He
would tell you to 'watch your step' or 'jump over this' from time to time as if
he had night vision. It was cool, all the powers he had. You still wanted to
know if he had laser vision though.
 
"We're here." He said while letting go of your hand which instantly felt cold
without his touch. You had no idea where you were, but it had seemed to be a
tunnel of some sort? With dirty water in the middle of it and a dry part just
as the sidewalk. This place had reminded you of the Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles comic books that you use to read at Eddie's house. And, there, for
anyone with eyes to see. The huge, gaping opening of the tunnel. Which led to
your freedom! Outside! 
 
You knew where you were. The Barrens!
 
Was he retarded? You looked back at the smirking clown, then back at the
opening. You wanted to run out, but you knew that he was way faster than you.
Maybe he was testing you? 
 
You were abruptly pushed forward, falling straight into the disgusting water.
As you looked back at Pennywise, clothes were flung towards you. You quickly
caught them before they had touched the water. "Change, quickly." You blinked
twice at him in confusion then finally stood up.
 
"Um...what about my cut?" You slightly raised up your shirt to show him the
wound. He crossed his arms at you and had begun to tap his foot against the
ground impatiently. He seemed to think of the wound as a belittle thing, "Why
else do you think I brought you here? Do what every human does, and use the
water to clean it."
 
"What?! But that water is dirty!" He rolled his eyes at your statement then
shot you an angry scold, "Or would you rather I lick it clean for you?" You let
out a loud sigh then walked to the dry part of the tunnel. Your eyes were
locked on the opening of it, but you fought the urge to run out. If you were to
run out now and he caught you, he'd probably remove your spine as a punishment.
The thought of this sent an uncomfortable shiver up your spine.
 
You were about to lift your shirt over your head, then you stopped once you had
remembered Pennywise was staring at you.
 
"D-don't look!" You yelled at him in a high pitched voice. He let out a scoff,
"What? Do you really think I'd be attracted to your body? I've seen you naked
before, remember?" You puffed up your cheeks at him in anger and embarrassment.
 
"Shut up! Just turn around." He angrily mumbled something before turning his
back towards you. You quickly threw on the outfit, which surprisingly fit you
well. It was a dark brown satin skirt that stopped just below the knee, with an
oversized yellow shirt that read 'Volleyball' at the front of it. You didn't
dare ask him where he had gotten it from. You took one more longing look at the
tunnel opening then frowned as you turned your head back to Pennywise. Right
when you were going to tell him to turn around a sharp pang of pain shot
through your abdomen. The cut! You didn't want to use the dirty water. Maybe
you could use the shirt that you previously wore as a bandage?
 
"Um...do you have any tape?" The clown turned around and showed you a toothy
smile. "Nope!" He said while popping the 'P'. You frowned at his reply, knowing
all too well what was to happen once the both of you had reached back to his
den.
 
                                                                               
                                 ψ
 
"Woah, what time is it?" You asked Pennywise who had seemed to be lost in
thought. He had always seemed to be thinking about something. Maybe all he ever
did was stand in one place and think about things? 
 
"Midnight." He simply said, without moving a muscle.
 
"They'll come and find me you know. They already know that you live here." You
soon regretted saying that when he slowly turned around to look at you.
 
"Maybe. But don't get your hopes up. Remember, I'll just tell them all the
things we've done together, then kill them." You looked back down at your lap,
knowing that he was right like always. Either you stay as his slave or the
others try looking for you and get killed in the process. It was as if you were
living your nightmares. You just wanted to crawl into a ball and be forgotten
by everyone.
 
Maybe you could try and escape? The tunnel did lead to outside.
 
No, stupid. First of all, you have no way in hell of getting out of here.
Second of all, he probably showed you that place because he wants you to try
and escape, just to kill you in the end. And third of all, your bleeding idiot!
He could smell you from a mile away. In other words, your better off being his
bitch.
 
The little voice in your head arose to give you some more lovely, lovely
advice. A sigh left you as you looked over at the dark drain pipe. It's true,
you had no idea which direction he had went in order to find the tunnel, it was
too dark. And he was always two steps ahead of you, he obviously wants you to
attempt to escape. Then the voice came back again.
 
Maybe, just maybe when he falls asleep you could try to escape? That is if he
actually sleeps, (Name). You're so screwed if he doesn't.
 
"Shut the fuck up..." You whispered to yourself, quickly looking back at
Pennywise to see if he had heard you. He did sleep, didn't he? On that
same...day. He was sleeping, right? Right?!
 
You fucking dunce. He was probably acting for all you know. Maybe he had the
whole thing planned. You wake up, he acts like he's sleeping then, bam! He goes
for the bait. And of course, you begin the idiot that you are, fell for it. If
you're gonna try to escape, you gotta be smart about it.
 
It was so weird. Why was the voice helping you now, when all those times in the
past it was only there to put you down? Or maybe it was your demons. Maybe you
had more than one voice in your head? Maybe you were schizophrenic for all you
knew!
 
"Hey. Do you like...sleep?" 
 
"Why do you want to know?" He sounded as if he knew why you had asked him that
question. You begun to sweat but quickly thought of something to reply with,
"No, don't get the wrong idea or anything! I had no idea that aliens existed so
I wanna just know more!" You hoped that he wouldn't get angry that you called
him an alien. Maybe he was a demon? Or the Devil himself? Of course, he was the
Devil.
 
"That same day, I was sleeping with you, was I not?" You almost gagged at the
thought but stayed silent. 
 
He's obviously lying! You can literally hear it in his voice!
 
What the hell were you supposed to do now? Sit there with your thumb up your
ass and stare at him all day?!
  
Ask if you could sleep with him again. He did seem to like that side of you.
The sluty side.
 
No, you couldn't you'll die from embarrassment! Plus he'll tell the others!
There was no way out of his situation.
 
It's worth a try, right? Go in that corner and act like your going to sleep,
then lie and say that your cold. After that ask if he could warm you up.
Hopefully, he doesn't have any covers!
 
You slowly got up and went into a small corner. One where you could lean your
back against the cold, hard wall. After some time you finally decided to speak
up.
 
"Pennywise, it's cold. Can you please warm me up?" You could feel your face
flush onxe the question had left you.
 
He was silent for a very long time, perhaps for an hour, before he slightly
moved so he was looking at you sideways. "And how do I know this isn't one of
your little games? Hmm?" 
 
"It's not! It's just that I'm cold...really cold. And-and I really liked it
that day. When we were in bed, hugging." You looked down at your lap and
squeezed your eyes tightly in embarrassment. You soon felt a warm hand wrap
around your waist and pull you towards an even warmer object.
 
You looked up at the clown, unable to read his expression from how dark it now
was. It was as if he were a black insect camouflaged in the night. "Thank you."
You said while laying your head on his chest. You expected to hear the pumping
of a heart, instead, you heard nothing. Not as if it were surprising though.
Most likely he had cobwebs and spiders inside of him.
 
You enjoyed the smell that he always carried. The smell of the circus. You've
only been to one when you were around 4 or 5. You could still remember the
silly picture of you crying while a man dressed as a clown held you. Now here
you were, resting with a clown that you hated yet...
 
Slightly loved?
***** Balls In Your Court *****
Your eyes fluttered, your aching joints lightly moved, and your dried tongue
ran over your cracked lips. Your stomach grumbled loudly as you slowly got off
of the hard, rocky ground that you hated to sleep on as your cold hand rubbed
at your dry, crusty eyes. 
 
You let out a yawn while you looked around the area, soon remembering that you
were to escape this damned place last night. But of course, you begin the pea-
brained idiot that you were decided to hit the hay and wake up with a pounding
headache and a horrible pain in your abdomen. Maybe you could try again
tonight, like hell you were gonna get out of here in one piece.
 
It was afternoon, you could tell from the small bright light that shun from the
crack in the ceiling. You soon found yourself heading towards it, it was the
only harness of heat in this darkened place, other than Pennywise. Speaking of
the horrible thing, where was he? You stopped your walking and looked around
the place for the hellish creature. Nowhere.
 
You continued along and stuck your hand out, enjoying the warm, sticky feeling
of the sunlight against your flesh. You missed the outside world. And now you
scowled yourself for waking up those mornings and saying that you hated the
sun. You'd want nothing more than to be outside, on your bicycle with your
friends, feeling the wind blowing against your hair and not giving a damn if
your ugly face showed, and laughing along side your still-wet-behind-the-ears
friends. 
 
Just as you opened your eyes and left your little imaginary world, you could
hear bells jingling behind you. You quickly turned around and saw the brute way
back, practically blending in with the darkness from the shadows.
 
"Good morning, my Little Mouse." He voiced with that stupid smile on his stupid
face that you wanted to punch so badly. You rolled your eyes at him and folded
your arms. His yellow hypnotizing snake eyes brightly shun in the darkness,
which you tried to avoided.
 
"I brought you a little gift." He threw a red apple and a water bottle at you
which rolled to your feet, finally coming to a stop once they hit the front of
your worn out sneakers. You quickly grabbed both of the objects and hungrily
bit into the apple without any second thoughts. 
 
He scoffed and let out a chuckle as he watched you. "Poor Little Fool." You
stopped your chewing and abruptly looked up at him. He had called you a name
your mother would many times. Poor little fool was the name she'd call you,
especially when you had done something that looked stupid or was stupid. 
 
Other than the name, he had slightly looked like your mother now. Which you had
missed even though she would give you beatings with a belt or a pot spoon or
her favorite, a broom stick. You had missed her and this had shown how much you
could endure till you had finally broken down, and wished to go back to the
person who cared for you yet hated.
 
You remind me of your father she'd say as she watched you eat or do chores. I
hate it and whenever she said those words, you would hate yourself and perhaps
even God for letting her go through that Hell. To be raped and have a baby that
reminded her of the one she despised. It was ungodly.
 
The clown blinked which brought you out of your reverie. Your gaze had been
fixed on his big clown shoes that you loved. They were white and red and had
black laces at the front along with a cute bright red puff ball at the front of
it. You loved the way that they looked, but you didn't love them as much as you
loved his blazing red hair which reminded you of a dancing fire or his plump
red lips or his...eyes. You admired his eyes, but the admiration would turn to
terror and leave you paralyzed. Hand shaking, mouth quivering and big wide eyes
filled with fear. He found it cute, the way you looked when you were scared. 
 
Sometimes a bit too cute, to the point where he'd want to wring you by your
cute little neck and take pleasure in hearing you scream out his name. But he'd
never do it. He wanted to torture you over and over again, his insides would
churn at the sounds you would make and God would he want nothing but to tear
you apart with his teeth. But he wanted to savor you, for later. He'd keep
telling himself that but he wanted to do things to you, and it was making him
crazy.
 
He soon found himself binge eating to suppress the strong urge to tear through
your sweet skin and feast off of your fears. Even after punishing you with a
bite as big as a lions or with very visible bruises across your chest, he'd
always find somebody, maybe 2 or 3, to frighten and kill after leaving you.
He'd get high off of the smell of their aroma and the way they tasted. But
nothing could top the qualities you carried.
 
Sometimes when he were alone and daydreaming, he'd think about you. And nearly
felt scared, for he would think you would escape one day and never come back.
But Lil ole Pennwise had many tricks up his sleeves. He probably wouldn't be
with you all the time, but he had the eyes of a hawk and could see you miles
away. A part of him wanted you to try and escape, through the drain pipe and
out the opening of the big tunnel. Only for him to catch you, like how a fox
would catch a mouse and have the last laugh, and smile up at you like The Man
Who Laughs and feel that cool rush that would shoot through his body when you
realized that you were doomed. Yes, he wanted that. He wanted it, and this was
bad.
 
Sometimes when staring at him dead in the eye, you'd feel your knees get weak
and when he would finally leave you in the total darkness by yourself, you
could breathe again. And you would find yourself thinking about the way he
stared at you, or held your hand, or complimented you on the way you smelled.
Maybe this was just a crush and it'll go away? You pray that it would go away,
but instead it continues to grow. 
 
It was odd, you felt different about the monster than how you felt about Bill.
You loved Bill, of course you did. You loved little Stuttering Bill as much as
you loved sipping on sweet chamomile tea while taking a warm bubble bath. But
when it came to Pennywise, your little crush had seemed to grow into a craze.
He'd make you feel unnerved and you kind of like it. He'd brush up against you,
and you kind of like it. But at the end of the day, you knew your friends
wouldn't approve of this little crush and you had to find a way to stop him
from getting to you and messing with your head. 
 
You quickly finished off your apple which had slightly turned brown from the
bite in it, and dropping the core to the ground when you were done. Your
stomach grumbled yet you still made sure to say thank you to Pennywise as you
drank the water. 
 
All this time, he watched you in fascination, like how a child would watch the
lions and apes at a zoo for the very first time. 
 
Your stomach grumbled again, now you remember your mothers cooking and how it
would taste, making your mouth water. Macaroni pie, apple cake with whipped
cream at the top and porridge. You were craving for your mother's delicious
porridge, you loved the way she cooked it so much, that you could name all of
them off of the tip of your tongue. Cornmeal, Gruel, Oatmeal, Grits, Sago...
 
Mother...how you missed your mother and the stupid attitude she had, how you
missed her slightly graying hair and her scowling face. You were homesick and
now you were fighting the urge to break down into tears in front of the staring
clown. 
 
"Aww, is my Poor Little Fool having a pity party? Hmm?" He said with a giggle.
God, that name. You wanted him to stop calling you that name which reminded you
of your mother!
 
Eyes wet, mouth pulled back into a snarl, knees quaking beneath you. You
mustered up all the rage and confidence that you could before you pulled your
head up to look at the smiling clown. Your mouth opened wide, getting ready to
shout curses at him, but then it closed when his icy stare paralyzed you like
it always would, making you feel meek and small.
 
You were unable to snap out of his hypnotizing snake eyes which put you in a
deep trance. Then with a quick bite of your lower lip and a tug at your skirt,
you were able to quickly turn your back towards him before you were fully
engulfed in the spellbinding stare. 
 
You could see from the little peephole in the ceiling that it was now
nighttime. Perfect, now you can finally escape from this hellhole once and for
all! You heard a giggle and when you turned around, he was gone. Perhaps he
knew about your plan and was ten steps ahead of you?
 
Even though you knew you were most likely going to die tonight, you didn't make
this thought kill the strong adamant that you carried at your side. If you were
to really escape tonight, what would you tell your friends? Would they hate you
if you told them about the tension between you and Pennywise? Or would they
still care about you? You bet your fur we will you could hear Eddie exclaim in
the back of your mind, and this brought a small smile to your lips. Perhaps
this was the last smile to ever meet your face.
 
 
                                      /
 
You decided to be smart. Waiting at least 3 or 4 hours before taking off. You
sat in total darkness, picking at the pimples on your temples from time to time
due to anxiety. 
 
Even though the creature was smart and crafty and sly, you were small and
quick, making this an advantage of escaping if he were to get a hold of you.
You felt sick in the stomach, the need to vomit and cry was strong but you held
it back. You needed to be strong and you needed to be silent.
 
After sometime you decided to finally go. You decided to finally go all out on
a limb. Now standing in front of the dark, spooky drain pipe, you clenched your
fists tightly at your sides. There was no way in Hell that you were backing
down now, no siree Bob, you had to prove to the Devil that you weren't as weak
as he thought you were. You weren't a little pet to be tampered and played
with. You were human and you'd prove him that, yes siree Bob. Even though your
heart ached a bit from the fact that you were against him, you pushed the
stupid butterflies in your stomach to the side and replaced them with something
strict and unquestionably sturdy in the depths of your stomach.
 
You quickly pulled the hem of your shirt over your nose as a shield against the
horrible smell. You had no idea in hell what the smell was, for all you knew it
was emitting from the decaying bodies that were placed in the big pipe. The
fact that Pennywise had eaten people and placed his lips among yours now made
you want to vomit in disgust. You quickly ran through the dark drain pipe,
water sloshing all over the place from your fast movement, while you squinted
your eyes so that you could see a bit better in the bitter darkness. 
 
As you quickly moved your left leg, the front of your sneakers had connected
with something on the ground which caused you to fall over and land face first
into the mucky water. Your head flung back quickly and a loud moan of pain
ripped through your lips when you felt excruciating pain in your abdomen. You
had accidently hurt the wound on your belly and you quickly slapped your hand
over your mouth once you had realized just how loud you were. You checked
behind you to make sure Pennywise wasn't there, and soon let out a shaky sigh
as you swiftly got back up and ran through the darkness yet again.
 
A faint light met your eyes and you knew you were close to the opening of the
tunnel. A gasp left your mouth when you thought that you could see it, see the
stars in the night sky that slightly shun down on this damned place. And as you
moved to it, you fell face first onto the ground again.
 
"Guess what I just caught!" You heard a voice exclaim behind you, and as your
head swung back to see who or what had grabbed you, the piercing yellow eyes
that bore holes into yours left you shivering on the ground. 
 
Pennywise laid on the ground, his hair wet and dark and it almost seemed as if
he were merging with the dirty water and dirt. His hand tightly gripped at your
calf and a loud groan left your mouth.
 
"I just caught you." His bottom lip and upper lip pulled all the way back and
revealed the sharp rows of teeth that a shark would possess, abruptly sinking
them down onto your calf. A loud shrill scream left your mouth and when your
teary eyes looked back at his, you saw the scary passion that he held in them.
He was going to eat you alive! And you could tell by the way his claws pricked
at your skin, breaking it and the way his teeth hooked around your calf. Just
when he got ready to pull his head back and devour the sweet creamy meat that
he would daydream about, your fear was suddenly replaced with anger.
 
"FUCK OFF!" Ripped through your mouth, and even though his claws sunk deeply
into the flesh of your left leg, you strongly pulled back and kicked him square
in the face! As he was kicked backwards you hissed in pain at the way his teeth
roughly grazed your calf. You stumbled upwards and ran and ran and ran. Through
the tunnel opening and past the water and rocks, and all the homes and stars
that shun so brightly that damned night. Leaving Pennywise panting and hungry
and gripping his wet bloodied nose as he watched you run away. Smiling like The
Man Who Laughs                  
***** Away With The Fairies *****
Monday- 4:30 AM
It is true, that those that we meet can change us, sometimes so deeply that we
are not even the same person afterwards! So it was no surprise that when you
had ran back home and your mother pulled you into her arms, and wept and wept,
and finally asked you where have you been-who done this to you that the only
thing that left your mouth was a lie. Everything after that lie would simply be
lies upon lies upon lies. Someone attacked me and I was lost you spoke as she
stared at you with her wet eyes. 
 
She slowly helped you up the stairs and into the bathroom, where she then
removed your dirty, tattered clothes and threw them into the small garbage bin.
She prepared a warm bath for you, she used a wash cloth to washed you up then
helped to clean the deep wounds on your arm, stomach and calf with a small
amount of hydrogen peroxide. Your wounds had begun to heal and were now a
slight pinkish color.
 
"You need stitches." She said as she helped you onto your bed while eyeing your
arm. She left your bedroom and went to grab all the items that were necessary
to stitch you back up from her small first aid kit, and returned shortly to
your bedroom.
 
"Okay, let's start with your arm first." Your mother said while holding a
little metal tray which held all the items. A sewing needle, cotton, a bandage
and some small cleaning tools. Your mother was very good at sewing, so it
didn't seem that you needed to go to the hospital. Hopefully,this wasn't too
much of a hassle for the woman. She first put the tools to soak in a
sterilizing solution for 20 minutes. While this took place, you couldn't help
but notice the worried look splayed on her face.
 
"Mama, i'm fine I promise." You assured her which didn't seem to do any help. "
(Name), who attacked you and how did you get lost?" She asked sternly, as if
she knew you were lying the first time you had answered her question. 
 
"Mother, I was hanging out with my friends by The Barrens. Then they had to go
home. I decided to go home at 5 and then-" Before you could finish you
sentence, your head swung to the side and a hot sizzling pain crawled up your
cheek. Your hand quickly shot up to cup your blazing flesh as tears begun to
form in your eyes. Your mother, She was infuriated. A vein had begun to pop out
of her forehead, her teeth were grit and pulled back into a snarl and her
eyebrows were scrunched together.
 
"Jesus H. Christ, (Name)! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE THERE!" She screamed which
caused you to recoil and pull your arms up to shield your face, thinking that
she were to lash out on you. Her breathing was hoarse and when she swallowed
thickly she seemed to have calmed down. She soon took a seat on the ground and
looked down at her lap in deep thought.
 
"M-mother, I'm sorry I'll never go back there again. I promise, and lightning
strike me if I lie!" She let out a sigh then slowly looked back up at you with
sharp eyes, "Who attacked you. Was it someone you've seen in Derry before?" 
 
"It was a man...I've never seen before. He was old and seemed to be a hobo with
a knife." You quickly lied to her while wiping away your tears.
 
"Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special
purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepare to do any work..." She
quietly prayed with clasped hands.
 
"Mother! He didn't rape me or anything!" You yelled out to the woman which
instantly stopped her from her prayer. "You indecent girl." She spoke while
shaking her head at you. She was as stubborn as a mule!
 
After the tools were done sterilizing in the hydrogen peroxide she proceeded to
stitch up the wounds which slightly hurt but you braced through it. When the
stitching were finally done, she wrapped your arm, calf and stomach in a big
white gauze which felt uncomfortable, but your mother stated that you deserved
it. She put bandages on all the bruises scattered along the flesh of your
collar bone and neck. You had made sure to thank her after the care was done.
 
You ended up sleeping with your mother since the slightest of sounds in your
bedroom had frightened you. You carried this feeling in your stomach, one that
always got to you when you thought of the clown, dread.
 
                                                                               
                                           ♫
 
The bright sun now shun over the tall trees, and you were left home alone. Your
mother had gone to work-like she always would on weekdays-and came back home in
the afternoon. You sat alone on the couch watching TV and tried to not think
too much about Pennywise.
 
Maybe he could smell you better due to your fear?
 
Maybe he's setting up a plan to get you?
 
Maybe you should start watching your step more carefully. Maybe you should
start protecting your neck, kid.
 
All these thoughts ran through your head, as if your demons were talking to you
and trying to give you advice. But there was always this one demon within you.
And when it spoke, it was as if the other's had shriveled and gone away. Just
kill yourself. Won't that be easier than having to wake every morning and wish
you didn't? It's not as if your death would be a calamity. It would say.
Perhaps this was the demon you had listened to the most. Perhaps this demon was
right. But an image of your friends would always pop up in your head and the
demon would quickly disappear like gas.
 
Your friends. Yes, you were in need of your friends at this very moment. Bored
and helpless and vulnerable you felt. They made you feel strong again. And you
had promised yourself that day when you were locked up in Pennywise's den, that
you would tell them your secret, the secret that he had planned to use against
you. You knew that if you were quick to tell them first, then maybe it wouldn't
cause that much of an impact on your relationship with them. But it sure would
make them see you differently.
 
You quickly picked up the corded phone on the wall and dialed your bosom
friend's phone number. Beverly was always quick to answer and you would rarely
encounter her father at times. His voice was dry and raspy, and at times when
you were hanging out with Beverly outside of her apartment, you'd catch him
staring at the both of you from the windows of it.
 
"Hello?" Asked the voice that caused your heart to skip a beat.
 
"Bev..." You exhaled out with a smile. You could tell that Beverly was
completely surprised to hear your voice from the way she had replied to you, "
(Name)! Thank God you're okay! Everyone missed you and we were all looking for
you!" 
 
"Bev, It had gotten me-but i'm fine now! I'm fine." You hurriedly said, not
wanting her to worry too much about you. "I escaped with a few bruises, but
they're healing!" 
 
"Ah, that's good to hear! I'm just glad you're okay..." 
 
"Say, Bev. Do you want to meet up with me at the park later on? I can tell you
about everything that had happened." You had truly wanted to leave the small
house and be with your friends again. 
 
"Of course, at 5:00 PM?"
 
"Sure. Oh and can you tell the other's to come as well." 
 
"You can count on it." You soon hung up the phone. A small smile was placed on
your lips. You truly were happy to have you friends at your side again.
 
                                                                               
                                              ♫
 
 Afternoon
 
You were attacked with hugs from everybody once you had reached the small park.
"Okay-okay guys that enough-ouch!" You cried out when you were jarred on your
stomach. 
 
"Sorry," Eddie said with an lopsided smile."We just missed you so much!" You
giggled at what the boy had said and soon took a seat on the brown bench next
to Mike. "Y-y-yeah, it's nice to have you b-b-back, (Name)." Bill spoke out.
 
"So, exactly what had happened? Did It try to kill you or something?" Richie
asked while he started at you intensively, as if he were waiting to hear a long
story.
 
"Yeah, but that was when I was about to escape. It kidnapped me and kept me in
this weird dark place, I'm pretty sure it was it's lair. Bill, remember that
day when all of us went to the Neibolt House and we saw It going down that old,
broken down well?" Bill nodded his head to your question, "Well, I think that
was where It took me. And it somehow leads to that creepy tunnel in The
Barrens..." Everyone was now staring intensively at you, waiting for you to
continue talking.
 
You gulped thickly then continued, "I hardly had any food to eat and It gave me
this wound on my stomach." You slightly lifted the shirt to show them the wound
that covered by the white gauze. 
 
"As well as the one on my calf. I got it on the day I escaped from It. I fell
and It sunk it's teeth and claws into me. Thank god I escaped through the
tunnel, or I would've been torn to pieces." A sigh left you as you finished the
explanation.
 
"That's...horrible..." Stanley said with a saddened look on his face. "Yeah, I
know. It's just good that I escaped."
 
"Good? More like wonderful! You mean so much to us!" Richie exclaimed. You
smiled at what he had said and soon looked down at your hands. You were
anxiously fiddling with your fingers. You wanted to tell them about the secret
so badly, but you couldn't find the correct words to say.
 
"Guys!" You exclaimed out loud, grabbing their attentions. You braced yourself
to say it even though you knew it would affect your relationship with them.
"Ah, um...It also took the necklace that Beverly had-had bought me..." You want
to slap yourself for saying that. It was as if your mind was acting against
your will.
 
Beverly took a look at your neck and noticed that the necklace really was
missing. "I-I don't know why but...but I think it was jealous..." You said
almost in a whisper once you saw how angry Beverly had looked.
 
"Guys, we can't keep letting this thing destroy us and everyone we love! Who
knows, it might come back again to take (Name). Or even one of us! We have to
stop it!" Ben exclaimed. You recoiled as images of your friends getting
attacked by Pennywise filled your head.
 
"What?!" You quickly asked with wide frightened eyes.
 
"(Name), B-B-Richie's right, It's just gonna kill more and more people." You
abruptly stood up and nearly fell onto the sidewalk, "We can't!" Left your
mouth. You were now panting and getting confused stares from your friends.
 
"(Name), we've been to the Neibolt House before. We can do it again." Your head
snapped towards Mike as he spoke.
 
"W-w-we can go there on Wednesday morning. B-b-but we have to be ready. Guys,
we can do this. As a team." The group nodded their heads to what Bill had said.
Even though you knew they were all tense and worried, they still would risk
their lives for you-for everyone' safety. You nearly broke down into tears. The
fact that they had loved each other so much made your stomach hurt since they
were surely to die if they took on Pennywise.
 
Laughter from your friends filled your ears as the group of you walked around
the park. The way the afternoon sun beamed over the huge bushes and tress made
a small smile form on your lips. But it quickly went away when the demons came
to give you some advice.
 
You're gonna have to tell them (Name)
 
You can't hide it forever
 
Just tell them! It can't be that bad, right?
 
"Bill..." 
 
"Yeah?"
 
"Can I...talk to you for a bit?"
 
"S-s-sure." You slowed down and so did Bill until the rest of your friends ran
ahead of the both of you and were out of earshot. You took a deep breath then
licked your quivering lips
 
"When..." You weren't too sure how to start the sentence and you couldn't stop
your hands from shaking, but continued on either way, even if your brain wasn't
working properly.
 
"...One day...quite some time ago a-actually...It came to me...and I was just
asking it some questions, until I fell asleep." Bill was now staring at you
intensively, "And...and when I woke up the next morning he-it was there on
the...bed with me!" Your hands shot upwards to cover your face. You begun to
cry and you felt Bill's gentle touch on your arms.
 
"(Name) I-i-it's alright. You don't have to cry, I-I-I'm here for you." The
both of you had stopped walking and he was now gently rubbing your back, like
how your mother would when you were sad at times.
 
When your weeping had eased down you continued walking, "When I woke up...It
was like someone or something had cast a spell on me. All of a sudden he was
intoxicating to me and I-I had wanted to be closer to him. Then we-he-
I...kissed him..." You whispered the last part and hung your head low. You
didn't want to see Bill's reaction. "He eventually left..." You finally said.
 
"I-I-It's okay (Name). It had p-p-probably done something to you to make you
behave that way. That thing is v-v-very unpredictable at t-t-times. So it's
okay if you fell for it's trap. E-e-everyone did. Even Georgie." Bill said to
you as he wrapped you in his arms. You were surprised to hear him bring up his
deceased brother who had died at the hands of the Devil himself.
 
You slowly looked up at Bill. Little stuttering Bill. And planted a kiss on his
lips. Your hands glided past the sides of his face and slightly tangled
themselves into his soft brown hair. His mouth was soft and sweet, and you
could feel him pull you closer. Deepening the kiss. It was as if time had
paused, the sun had stopped shining, the earth had stopped it's rotation, and
everything was focused on the two of you. You could finally breathe again, and
you had pulled away and smiled up at him. He was smiling back at you, his
beautiful white teeth showing and his hair slightly swayed as the breeze glided
across your skins.
 
"Hurry up, love birds!" Eddie exclaimed, a few feet away from the both of you.
You wondered if he had seen the both of you kiss, but you didn't care, because
you were glad to get that pain off of your chest. You still had to tell the
other's though, but you didn't worry, because Bill was at your side.
 
                                                                               
                                                       ♫
 
"Hi mother." You said from the couch, your eyes not leaving the television
screen as you ate your cereal.
 
"Hello (Name)." She closed the front door then placed her handbag onto the
table. "Where did you go today?" She asked sternly. Your attention left the TV
and was now on her.
 
"Oh, I just went to the park with my friends." She had a look of disbelief on
her face as she placed her arm onto her hip.
 
"You better not have been at The Barrens, girlie. The neighbors told me that
they saw you leave the house on your bicycle. Don't let me take it away from
you!" She screamed out which caused you to recoil. 
 
"I really was at the park-"
 
"I've gotten a therapist for you." She cut you off. You stared at her with
surprise. 
 
"A what?!"
 
"A therapist!" It was unlike her to find help for you, maybe it was due to her
believing that you were always lying to her.
 
"I met him at my job. His name is Robert Gray and he said he would be glad to
come talk to you. Tomorrow, he said he'll come tomorrow to talk to you." You
sighed at what the woman had said and continued to watch Nosferatu on the TV.
The vampire reminded you very much of Pennywise when you watched him creep up
on the main character and attack him with big clawed hands.
 
"Fine..." You huffed out, then your mother finally picked up her handbag and
went up the stairs.
 
 
That night you went to sleep alone in your bedroom. You had shut the window and
locked your bedroom door, and hid underneath the covers. You prayed to Buddha
and God that Pennywise wasn't hiding in your closet and getting ready to rip
you open and snack on your organs. 
 
You eventually managed to fall asleep, occasionally waking up with a cold sweat
when something frighting happened in your dreams. When you walked into the
bathroom, that's when you saw just how horrible you had looked. You had bags
underneath your eyes, your hair grew thin, and your nails were long and dirty.
You felt disgusted, the fact that you had kissed Bill while looking like this.
You hated yourself.
 
Tuesday- Unlucky Afternoon
 
All morning you had stayed home, watching TV and trying to finish that one book
you swore to read. 
 
You didn't think too highly of the therapist. Nor did you think he would help
you. There's no way in hell someone would believe you if you had told them a
shape-shifting clown monster alien demon thing was after you and your friends.
 
In the middle of reading The House on Mango Street, you heard the front door
knob turn then the door opened. You swung your head to the side and saw your
mother coming into the house with an unfamiliar man. He seemed to be around 27
years old and was about 7 feet tall. He had a handsome face with bright blue
eyes and pink plump lips that'd make any woman die if she were to kiss them. He
wore simple denim jeans with a button up light blue shirt. 
 
As he walked into the house you saw that he held a big brown bag at his side. 
 
"(Name), this is Mr. Gray. Say hello." Your mother said as the man smiled at
you.
 
"Hello, Mr.Gray." You spoke out as you sat up on the couch.
 
"Hello, (Name)." His voice sent shivers down your spine and the way his eyes
danced so gently made a blush creep up on your cheeks.
 
"Ms.(Surname), would you be as kind as to give me and (Name) some privacy? Just
for an hour?" 
 
"Of course." Your mother quickly went upstairs, leaving you and the stranger
alone.
 
He took a seat next to you on the couch and reached for something in his brown
bag. "How are you, (Name)?"
 
"I'm fine." You smiled up at him.
 
"So I've heard you've been missing for a couple of days?" 
 
"Ah, yes! For 3 days I believe. I was attacked!" You said, constantly having to
snap yourself out of daydreaming, due to how handsome he was.
 
He soon pulled out a clipboard and pushed his thumb against the end of the pen
he held with a click. "Okay. Can you tell me, exactly how did you get attacked
and then went missing for the 3 days?" He quickly wrote something on his
clipboard that you couldn't see, then looked back up at you. His eyes like the
bright blue sky and his lips like a peach.
 
"...Just as I started walking, the hobo came out of no where and tackled me. I
struggled to get away and when I did, I ran far into the forest and got lost."
He quickly wrote on the clipboard again, double checking and subtly touching
his lips with the pen. You found yourself constantly licking your own when you
looked at his.
 
"The hobo gave you those wounds too?" He asked while looking at your wrapped
arm and the bandages on your neck. 
 
"Yeah. I'm never going back to the barrens. Ever." A snicker left his lips and
when you looked back up at him, bewildered, his face was as straight as a
board.
 
"Um-"
 
"Why were you at the barrens?"
 
"I was hanging out with my friends. They all had to go home because it was
getting pretty late. I stayed at the barrens a while longer before I decided to
go home, and that's when the hobo attacked me with a knife. He probably wanted
money..."
 
He ran a hand thought his fair, soft hair, and looked back up at you with
appealing, yet, lazy eyes. "Okay. Now I want you to answer some of these
questions about your self for me. How have you been feeling this week?"
 
"Horrible. But I felt much better when I got to see my friends yesterday." He
wrote on the board.
 
"How do your friends make you feel?" 
 
"They make me feel happy. They always lighten my mood."
 
"Do you have a boyfriend?" It went silent, and his blank gaze didn't leave the
clipboard. You swallowed thickly, you didn't know if Bill was really your
boyfriend as yet.
 
"Um..." You looked down at your fingers, fiddling with them, then a small
chuckle left your lips, "No." You saw him vaguely smile for a second, then
continued his writing.
 
"How old are you?"
 
"14..."
 
"Are you seeing your period?" It went silent again. You haven't seen your
period as yet. And you didn't know if the age 14 was too late to get it. You
most definitely didn't want to see a gynecologist.
 
A sigh left your mouth and you finally answered, "No..."
 
"Have you ever been in any sexual activities?" You thought of Pennywise for a
second then quickly shook your head. "No-no! Most definitely...no!" He had this
look on his face, as if he were watching a hilarious soap opera.
 
"What are your grades like in school?"
 
"Fine, I guess." 
 
"How often do you meet up with friends?"
 
"Almost everyday."
 
"Do you have a clear sense of where you want to take things in life?"
 
"Um...no..."
 
"What is your main concern today?" You weren't too sure as to how to answer
this question. You didn't want to say defeat a killer clown so he can leave me
and my friends the fuck alone.
 
"Um...my main concern..." You didn't know what lie to say, it was as if your
brain wasn't functioning properly. He now looked up at you with a blank face,
waiting for an answer as you stumbled with your words.
 
"...Right now is not being..." You were going to say not being able to save my
friends. But you had thought he were to say something back like from what?
 
"...I can't talk about that..." You felt as if a thousand eyes were on you,
staring into your soul, waiting for you to spill right in front of him.
 
"Um...we aren't...going...to talk about it." You looked down at your fiddling
fingers so that you wouldn't have to look into his eyes.
 
"Can you tell me, what's going on in your life currently?" He asked, snapping
you out of your profound thought.
 
"I'm...fine..." You whispered.
 
"I'm sorry?"
 
"Wait, what was the question?" You fixed your position on the couch while
straightening your back.
 
"You know the question." His eyes never leaving you.
 
"What question?"
 
"You know the question that I asked you." Was all he said.
 
It felt difficult to breath, it felt as if your throat was closing on itself.
"What was the question though?" You asked with a hoarse voice. You quickly
cleared your throat and looked back at the man.
 
"I asked you a question."
 
"Yeah."
 
"What was the question?"
 
"To tell you, what's happening...t-to find...I'm fine."
 
"Can you tell me, what's going on in your life currently?"
 
"T-to find...I'm fine."
 
"How are you feeling right now?"
 
"What? I-I...th-th-th-"
 
"Can you tell me, when was the most traumatic moment of your life?"
 
"...What...hurts?" You asked in confusion as your palms began to grow sweaty.
 
"Yes."
 
"...I-I can't talk about it...hurts."
 
"Was it something done to you?" He asked, not blinking once, his eyes never
left you once. You simply nodded your head to his question.
 
"Did this thing happen to you when you were young or currently?" You nodded
your head again. He wrote something down on the board then looked back up at
you.
 
"Can you tell me what happened?"
 
"...I...I c-can't...he-it...it'll be...angry..."
 
"Who's it?"
 
"...Cu-Cu-Clown...." Was all that left your mouth, and that's when he placed
his board into the big brown bag and went upstairs to talk to your mother.
Leaving you to sit there all alone, staring at completely nothing, your hands
sweaty and fiddling and your eyes were wet and teary.
 
"Yes, I'll be seeing her tomorrow, if that's okay with you?" You heard Mr.Gray
say as he walked down stairs with your mother at his side. "Of course." She
said while opening the door for him to leave.
 
"Goodbye. Goodbye (Name)." He said, and when he didn't get a reply he soon
left.
 
"Hurry up and clean this mess, (Name)." Your mother said once the front door
was closed. She soon went up the stairs and back into her bedroom, and all you
did was sit in complete silence, away with the fairies.
***** Apple Of My Eye *****
"Stupid bitch!" Greta Bowie yelled as she eyed you with revulsion. And with a
subtle nod, her friends giggled while they shoved you into the girls bathroom.
 
"Leave me alone!" You cried out, only to get rowdy fits of laughter from all
the girls. 
 
"Sorry, I just couldn't, since your slutty little friend-Beverly isn't here to
protect you." Beverly had been absent that day. It had only been a couple of
weeks since school had started and you had already started to get bullied.
 
"Wu-what?! What have I ever-"
 
"Don't get it twisted, bitch. Just because I don't like Beverly-" She took one
step closer to you, "-Doesn't mean I like YOU!" Her hand connected with your
face, as fast as a lighting bolt. And a stinging, painful feeling, just like
that of a belt being lashed against your body from your mother, ran across your
cheek.
 
Your body was whirled to the side from the force, your hands shot up to cup
your sizzling cheek and a loud groan of pain left your mouth.
 
"Where do you think you're going?! We aren't finished!" You could feel Greta's
nails, which had been painted a pretty pink color that day, sink right into
your hair. Even though her nails did look very nice, they didn't feel very
nice, not one bit as you fought against her grasp.
 
She pulled your face upwards, and when you had opened your tightly shut eyes,
you got a quick glance of her fist skyrocketing to your face! The impact caused
you to drop to your knees, Greta's hand still tightly clutched your hair as her
friends laughed at you. 
 
"Just look at her face! The face of a whore!" You heard the one with dirty
blonde hair exclaim, soon getting kneed straight into your cheek by the other
girl.
 
You could hear their cackles as each of them continuously hit you with punches,
kicks and slaps. Your eyes were watery with tears, which didn't help very much
since you were already feeling lightheaded and dizzy.
 
With an abrupt whack you felt nails dig into your temples and two strong, broad
objects jarred you underneath your chin which earned a loud cry of agony from
your bloody, bruised lips.
 
"Hey..." You looked up at Greta, who was now sitting on your shoulders as if
you were some kind of an animal. Her friends, who had the front row seat of
everything, watched with amusement, "Bark." She demanded.
 
Once you didn't do anything, her nails dug deeper into your temples and she
leaned over your body till you no longer had to pull your head up to look at
her. "I said bark!"
 
"...Ruff..."
 
"BARK LOUDER!" Your ear drums rung from how loud the girl on top of you
shouted. Cries left you as your mouth trembled when you opened them to talk-or
bark per se.
 
"Ruff...!"
 
"LOUDER!!" Her friends giggled as they watched the scene in front of them.
 
"Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!"
 
She grasped your hair and painfully pulled at it so you wouldn't be able to
look downwards, only upwards, at her hyena friends.
 
"I SAID LOUDER! ARE YOU DEAF?!"
 
You opened your tear-filled eyes, kept your head high, but your eyes were on
the ground, "WOOF! WOOF!!"
 
"MORE!!" She screamed past her friends loud laughs.
 
"W-WOOF...ARF...RUFF RUFF!!" You tightly shut your eyes again and gritted your
teeth in pain, humiliation and hatred. Greta gave your hair another hard tug,
that's when you finally looked upwards, with such hopelessness and weakness,
and finally made the sounds of a Rough Collie.
 
"WOOF! ARF ARF! RUFF RUFF RUFF! W-WOOF W-WOOF WOOF! WOOF...."
 
And that was the beginning of your Unlucky Morning.
 
                                                                               
                                                  ⍏
 
As seen in the incident with the hospitalized family, governmental authority is
particularly ineffective at dealing with kidnapping and disappearances. Even in
time-sensitive child abduction cases, the police display a noncommittal
attitude. And frequently fail to respond quickly in most cases...
 
You had nearly dropped your bowl of cereal and milk once you had heard the
news. You ran towards the house phone on the wall and quickly dialed Beverly's
phone number. The girl was most likely asleep at this time, but you needed to
make sure if she and the rest of your friends were to go to the Neibolt House
and take on the monster. They were surely to die, and as you waited past the
constant buzzing of the telephone, you tried to make up excuses as to why they
shouldn't go.
 
"...Hello?" Asked a rather sleepy voice. It was no surprise as to why the
ginger would be sleepy. The sun had just begun to rise!
 
"B-Beverly...sorry to call you so early in the morning, but..." You grew
hesitant with each word. You weren't sure if you should tell her that they were
sorely, sorely mistaken for wanting to go back to the Neibolt House. Maybe you
could tell them just what Ben had said. I'll be 41 and far from here!
 
Or maybe you should just tell her the truth. That you decided to chicken out
and flock off from the topic. 
 
The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.
 
"I'm not going to the Neibolt House." You heard shuffling past the phone, then
a sudden bang sound, as if the girl had abruptly taken a seat to steady herself
from falling.
 
"But, (Name)...why not? We all need you (Name). We all need each other. We're
all in the same losers' boat, and we're all in this together. We all agreed on
this." Her soft words filled you with rage. You hated how they all "needed"
to have you at their sides. It was as if you were nothing but a trump card or
wild card for them to use in order to defeat Pennywise. And there was no when
in hell you were going back into that hell hole. Just as Stanley had said to
Bill that same day, they were all bat shit crazy!
 
"No Beverly! I'm not going back there! I'm not crazy like you and Bill! And I
never agreed to do anything! Unlike the rest of you guys, I actually got a
chance to experience what it really was like in the depths of that place! And
you two-you two just want to put me back there!" You released a shaky exhale,
and you knew the stupid red head was in shock from the silence on the other
side.
 
"I'd rather just stay home and wait for this craziness to end! And so should
you, Beverly. And that's final! Don't call back-don't come to my house-just
leave me be!" You finally slammed the phone back onto the holder with rage. You
stared at the ground, not moving a muscle, just staring for what seemed like
years, until you saw the tears plopping onto the ground. Loud cries left you as
you slowly slid down the wall. You felt weak, so very weak, it was as if a
piece of you had just died and now you had completely nothing to live for.
 
You hated your friends, but at the same time you had still loved them. You just
couldn't take it anymore! You couldn't take the pain anymore. You couldn't take
the grief anymore. Then, at that very moment, it was as if your demons had now
talked to you, filling your throbbing head with various ways to end your life.
 
Slit your throat with the kitchen knife on top of the counter
 
Use a piece of rope and hang yourself
 
Overdose on sleeping pills
 
Eat the rat posioing in the cupboard
 
Go to the bathtub and electrocute yourself with the toaster 
 
Slice your wrists deeply until you bleed out
 
Abruptly the phone loudly rung above you causing you to nearly jump out of your
skin. You knew it had to be Beverly again. Hoping to coax you with her annoying
voice. 
 
You felt at your chest, checking for the friendship charm she had bought for
you, in hopes of destroying it. You soon remembered that the asshole clown had
taken it from you the same day you had gotten kidnapped by him-it.
 
The phone rung again, and now you quickly stood, placed the phone to your ear
and got ready to curse the stupid bitch out.
 
"LEAVE ME ALONE-YOU FUCKING MORON!"
 
"Whoa-whoa-whoa, there's no need to be so hostile!" Exclaimed a familiar voice
from across the phone. It had been Mr.Gray! And you instantly felt dumb for
shouting.
 
"Oh! Mr.Gray, I'm so so sorry! I just had a disagreement with my friend a while
ago." 
 
"Yes, yes. I understand it happens all the time." He let out that friendly
chuckle that he would always release when he talked to you. "Anyways, I just
wanted to know if your mother is still home. My schedule got shifted so now
you'll have to see me at my work area to have our secession."
 
You were happy to hear that you had another session with him (not really) so
that you could tell him how idiotic your friends had been.
 
"Ah, no she actually already went to work. I'm not too sure why she left so
early today, she's usually as slow as a snail." You jokingly stated to the man.
 
"Okay, well when she gets back please tell her to call me."
 
"Of course." You soon hung up the phone and you felt tingly. He had
actually cared for you. Someone had actually cared for you for the very first
time. Unlike your fake friends who had simply used you for their advantage and
wouldn't take no for an answer. 
 
Then suddenly, like a cold just getting better, the demons came rushing back.
 
First it was the monster, then it was Bill, now it's your therapist?! You've no
place in Heaven!
 
"Shut up..." You murdered while taking a seat on the couch in boredom. There
was nothing to do but watch TV, read boring books, and day dream about Mr.Gray.
 
A thought finally came to you. You could take a walk to Seven Eleven to get a
slurpee. You had rarely went for walks since you had your bicycle, but your
bicycle did nothing but remind you of your friends. It had also been a long
time since you any sweet snacks. Your mother claimed that candy and other sweet
things would turn you obese so she hid almost all of the sticky sweets
somewhere in her bedroom.
 
You had only 15 dollars and Seven Eleven wasn't too far from your house. In all
honesty you just wanted to burn time before you went to your appointment with
Mr.Gray. You put on a short sleeved shirt and overalls with old black and white
Converses. 
 
You shut the door but left it unlocked since you knew your neighbor-Joe Harth-
was awake and about next door. His head snapped towards you, and the mean old
man let out a scoff and a scowl. He was rude to nearly everybody in Derry,
upset for your mother who was like a "daughter" to him. The aged man most
likely wouldn't let anybody get into the house since your mother lived there
with you, which was a good thing, but his mouth was something you couldn't
stop. It was like a waterfall, and you knew that once it had reached afternoon
he would tell your mother that you had went outside.
 
"Girl, where do you think you're off to?" He questioned as he stopped his
rocking on his old rocking chair made of wood. "You best get your little behind
back into the house."
 
"I'm going to the store..." You didn't care now that he was to tell your mother
that you had left the house. You simply felt numb from all the pain.
 
"When your mother hears this one..." He shook his head which made his white
sagged skin jiggle just like a turkey's snood, and he took a sip from his cold
water. You rolled your eyes at him when his gaze averted from you.
 
You soon strutted forward, enjoying the breeze. And that's when you had
realized that your face was bare and visible for everyone to see, but you
didn't care. It felt nice. You felt nice.
 
Once at Seven Eleven, you had bought a large slurpee along with a small
colorful jawbreaker that you had stuck into your back pocket while you sipped
your icy drink.
 
You gave the slurpee machine one last longing look, knowing that you weren't
going to see the colorful, magical thingamajig in a very long time. As you made
your way towards the exit of the store, somebody, a certain man stopped you in
your tracks. Right in the isle with the different coffee holders that ranged
from flavors like, mocha, hazelnut; cinnamon and even bacon-flavored coffee
(talk about disgusting)! Stood Mr.Rigger, a true rare sight in Derry. He was a
rich man. Rumor says that he lives in a huge mansion on the very peak of a tall
grassy mountain somewhere in Derry, of course, you didn't know if it were true
or not. He was always seen dressed in his Sunday best, and with his pet poodle
at his side. But today a well groomed Cavalier King Charles Spaniel accompanied
him, who was wearing on an overpriced golden and black Versace collar.
 
You slowly walked towards the strange man dressed in all white, "Good morning,
Mr.Rigger." You said with a smile.
 
The mysterious 50 year old man with his black hair slicked all the way back
with gel turned to look at you, you could smell cigarettes and strong cologne
as you inched closer to him. "Good morning, (Name). I haven't seen you in quite
some time. Are you doing well?" His eyes skimmed over the white bandages
littered across your neck and chest, before resting on your bright eyes.
 
"Yes I am. I'm doing much better now after...all that has happened."
 
"That's good to hear." He spoke while resting his coffee cup on the counter.
You looked down at his dog and crouched down in front of it, placing your
slurpee on the ground next to you.
 
"Oh, I see you've a new dog!" You ruffled the head of the adorable pooch, who
seemed to be well trained. It didn't stick out its tongue or processed to hump
you by the leg like most dogs did. It simply stood there and let you rub its
soft head. 
 
"Yes. A friend for my poodle back at home." His middle finger twitched back and
forth as the leash slightly moved each time you rubbed the dogs head. You
pulled your head close to the dogs, foreheads touching, and growled at it.
Making small 'Arfs' here and there to see if the well trained mutt would be
fazed.
 
"He's a nice dog, huh?" Voiced the mysterious rich man.
 
"Yeah. I really like him." You said while looking up at the dandy.
 
"He likes you. He doesn't like everybody." His middle finger twitching as you
watched him speak.
 
"Who does he like?"
 
"He can smell when people are sweet. Like you. Nice young people." 
 
You simply smiled at his odd, yet, benevolent words.
 
                                                                               
                                                          ⍏
 
You moaned in delight from the hard sugary candy that you rolled in your mouth.
Even though it had tasted slightly weird since you had brushed your teeth after
drinking the slurpee (so that the colors didn't show on your tongue and lips),
you still enjoyed it.
 
You heard the doorknob twist and turn a few times, and you knew your mother was
back home from work. You quickly spat out the jawbreaker onto a napkin and
tucked it into your sports bra before you mother could even step inside the
house.
 
"Hi, mother. Oh, Mr.Gray called today. Apparently I'm suppose to meet him at
his office now I think. He said to call him back when you get the chance." Your
mother placed her bag onto the table and stared at you with a cross face.
 
"So, I heard from Joe that you went outside today." Your face burned with rage,
but the anger quickly subsided once you remembered that you only went out to
relax and burn some time.
 
"Oh. I just went outside for some fresh air, no big deal." You shrugged your
shoulders, even though you knew she was going to beat you later on. She soon
turned to the corded phone on the wall and dialed a number, which you had
guessed was Mr.Gray's work number.
 
"Oh no-no-no. It's not too late for us to meet you now, we'll be there in about
an hour." You heard your mother say against the phone.
 
"Come on (Name). Change your clothes, you have to go to your appontment."
 
"Aww man. Don't you think it's a bit too late to go now?" 
 
"Just get dressed."
 
 
It didn't take long to reach the clinic. And once you had, you were instantly
brought to Mr.Gray's office. His office looked so...normal. It was a much
different color than the hallways of the clinic, which was dull and only
consisted of two bland colors. The walls of his office was a faint yellow
color, with glass windows which were shut by dark brown blinds. There were two
simple turquoise couches. One on the right, which was big. You had guessed that
he sat on that one. And another, rather smaller one that only one person could
fit into, which was for you.
 
The man was dressed in a gray vintage suit, along with a white and black bow.
He was richly dressed, and looked as if he were expected to be at a Microsoft
interview. You shared a few words with him before he took a seat on the big
turqouis couch and gestured that you sat on the smaller one across from him. On
the small table between the both of you had a small glass of water and some
napkins in a box that matched the colors of the room. Everything was so neat
that you nearly thought that Mr.Gray might have had OCD.
 
He read something off of his clipboard then his blue eyes snapped towards you.
You recoiled from how keen they were and felt odd in the gut. He was almost
inhuman, unearthly. You had bet that if he were to take a quick walk, let's
say, to fetch some water for himself, people were to stop and stare and whisper
behind a fan, 'That man...how beautiful, how he gleams...how he moves. It's not
natural!" He was odd He was like the type of guy to slow dance with his lover
while listing to rock music. To put it simply, he was mysterious, charming and
unique.
 
You found yourself looking down at your hands, fiddling with your fingers like
you usually did when you were around him. "So, (Name). Can you tell me how it's
been so far?"
 
"Horrible." You said with a deep sigh. "I totally ditched my friends. Threw 'em
in the trash. They were just acting so...weird. So annoying. So aggravating.
And they never listened to a word I had to say. Their a bunch of...a bunch
of..." 
 
You struggled to find the correct word to describe the lot of them. Until
Mr.Gray answered for you, "Assholes?" 
 
"Y-Yes! A group of assholes!" You said angrily as a witty simper was placed on
his lips while he listened to you. You took a swallowed hard before continuing,
"I don't...I dunno if it really was a good idea for me to actually throw them
in the trash like that, you know? Maybe I should have taken a deep breath,
regained control and explained to them how I was feeling."
 
"Can you tell me what the whole disagreement was about?" He asked.
 
"It's...it's sorta private..." You looked back down at your lap and you could
see tears falling onto your thighs, leaving a dark blue color on your jeans.
 
"(Name), you have to open up to me.  It's part of the reason as to why you're
here." He said sadly. You slowly looked back up, but your gaze was averted from
him. You wiped at your tears before opening your mouth to talk, but Mr.Gray had
beat you again.
 
"Is this something to do with the clown?" A gasp left your mouth and you looked
back at the therapist once more. His face was still and serious, "H-how do you
know about that?!"
 
"You told me something about a clown the first time we met. You went completely
catatonic, (Name). Do you get enough sleep at nights?" You shook your head.
Most nights you were too afraid to even close your eyes, Pennywise might have
been underneath your bed, getting ready to attack. Or maybe on top of the
ceiling like a spider. You never knew.
 
You shook your head at his question, feeling horrible about yourself because
you knew you looked like shit since you were hardly getting any sleep. He wrote
something on his board before looking back up at your wet, innocent eyes. "The
clown...yes it has something to do with the clown." You couldn't continue the
sentence, you had broken down in front of him and it took you by surprise when
you heard him chuckle. 
 
Your head quickly shot up at the chuckling man with anger and confusion and
shock, "W-wha-"
 
"I'm sorry. You're just too adorable when you cry." Your heart fluttered from
his words until he said 'continue' and you did.
 
"Can we please please skip this thing about the clown, pleeeeassseee?!" You
were practically begging him, with clasped hands and a wet face. All he did was
smile at you before adjusting his board on his lap and pushing the box of
tissues closer to you with his long index finger. You quickly took one out and
wiped at your face.
 
"Okay, (Name). We'll skip it, for now. But we'll have to come back to it sooner
or later. It sounds like something serious." His smile soon faltered once you
had stopped crying and gazed up at him with tired, saddened eyes.
 
"You look like you need sleep. You should try watching less TV at nights and go
for a cup of chamomile tea before bed. Your favorite kind, right? Your mother
told me so." You nodded your head to his question and smiled at him. You liked
it when he talked about the things you liked.
 
"Please (Name). Please come back next week and at least let me see you looking
a bit more lively." He walked over to you and wrapped his arms around your
shoulders. He smelt a lot like sandalwood, patchouli, and rosewood. A rather
earthy smell that warmed your body even more from his soft touch. No one had
hugged you so sweetly for years, which brought back the silent tears.
 
When he pulled away, he handed you a small grey handkerchief, that smelt
exactly like him, along with a tiny business card. 
 
"Here's my personal phone number. I'm not too sure about what's going on with
you and your friends and this clown, but if you need someone to talk to, make
sure you call me -or the police immediately." You took the card and thanked him
with a small smile. You felt a bit safer now, and you palmed the card as you
walked out of the room and met with your mother. You knew that if she were to
find out that a man you hardly knew had given you his phone number, she were to
tear the card up or throw it in the trash.
 
The both of you soon went home, and at that moment you had realized that you
had liked Robert Gray. You liked him alot. But you didn't want to become too
fond of him. You didn't want to become the Lolita to his Humbert. The ending of
that story, always terrified you.
***** Musophoba *****
Chapter Notes
     Musophobia-The fear of mice and rats
     This chapter may include spoilers to the novel, but if you don't care
     then read on :)
To be beautiful is to be almost dead, isn't it? The tiredness of the perfect
woman, the languid ease, the obeisance, lifeless, colorless, pale as ivory and
as weak as a mouse. In the Victorian era there was a brisk trade for
photographs of dead women. The corpses, improved with cosmetics, then posed in
postures of abject surrender and photographed. The men who have now turned into
beasts, circulate the pictures then pleasure themselves. To have you in my arms
again, dead and impotent, my dear, such delicacy...
 
                                                                               
                                 ⚌
 
Have you ever woken up one morning and just thought about all the mistakes in
your life? And then the rage begins to bubble up at the thought of how you
could have easily fixed those little stupid errors? But then you break down
crying because you know that there is no way to go back into time, like the
Doctor would when he stepped into his TARDIS, and fix all those mistakes. So
now you just have to live, knowing every single day that you had committed
those stupid little errors.
 
That's exactly how you felt this morning when you had woken up. So much for a
good night's sleep.
 
It took you by surprise when you went downstairs and saw your mother talking on
the phone. Another thing that had shocked you was that she had made breakfast
for you. Something she had rarely done. You took a seat in front of the plate
of steamy waffles covered with thick maple syrup, scrambled eggs and 3 pieces
of crunchy bacon, along with a small glass of OJ.
 
"Eat up, (Name)." The woman said as she hung up the phone, "We're going to see
grandma." Your mother stated which made you look up at her in surprise. You
hadn't seen your grandmother in years. She lived in Bangor and had Alzheimer.
She had a housekeeper that watched over her.  And you remembered the time when
you had went over to the elderly woman's apartment and called the housekeeper a
'maid'. You remembered the how a bright smile was placed on her brown skin once
you had called her that. 
 
You quickly finished off your meal and ran up the stairs, excited to get
dressed and see your grandma again.
 
                                                                               
                          ⚌
 
You and your mother had to take a train to go to Bangor, which you hated. You
very much disliked the mucky smell of the subway, or the old men that would
constantly stare you and your mother down, grinning with their yellow, chipped
teeth. But what you hated the most, were the rats. Each time you saw one, you
could feel your blood curl up, the hairs on the back of your neck stand, and
the goosebumps on your flesh. They were disgusting and reminded you of the
Black Death pandemic that you had studied about in history class.
 
"Hold this for me." Your mother said as she handed you a big gray bag that held
a carton of milk, bread and some cheese for your grandma. You watched as your
mother struggled to get a card from one of the vending machines. You suddenly
felt a familiar tingle in your nether, telling you to go use the bathroom.
 
"Mother, I have to use the bathroom."
 
"Go ahead, but make it fast." You placed the bag onto the floor next your
mothers feet and hurriedly walked towards the sign hanging from the ceiling
that read 'Restroom'. You quickly pushed the door open and covered your nose
from the horrible smell in the single-stall bathroom. You locked the door and
stared at the toilet. 
 
The amount of people that have placed their butts on this toilet must be a shit
ton.
 
Instead of sitting on the toilet, you tried to squat over it, afraid that you
might catch a disease from sitting on it. While waiting for all the fluids to
leave you, you heard a familiar squeaking sound that caused you to snap your
head to the right. In the corner of the toilet was a little brown mouse,
peering right up at you. 
 
Like a giant elephant, you let out a loud holler and quickly jerked yourself
away from the toilet while pulling up your panties. Just as you were about to
place your hand onto the door knob, the old light of the bathroom abruptly
flickered off. And once it turned back on, you let out a scream of fear from
the sight of dozens upon dozens of rats crawling out of the toilet and towards
you.
 
The light flickered again and again and as you struggled to get a hold of the
lock of the door knob, you caught a glimpse of the many rats creeping at your
shoes. Some ranged from white to grey to brown to orange to black. Another
scream left your trembling mouth as you found yourself stomping your feet onto
the ground as if you were in some kind of marching band.
 
You suddenly froze in fear once you heard an otherworldly squeak behind you.
You slowly turned around and nearly jumped out of your flesh once you saw a
humongous rat with dirty, brown matted fur struggle to crawl out of the toilet.
You only caught glimpses of it's wet, stinking figure. It was nearly the size
of the damn toilet! All it needed was a crown and it could have been labeled
the king of rats from how frightening and enormous it was.
 
It's black gleaming eyes met yours and that was your cue to finally stop
staring and actually get the fuck out of this place! You saw it charge at you,
past all the other mice that kept pouring out of the toilet like a waterfall,
you quickly pinched the tiny lock and twisted it. Your hand quickly gripped at
the door knob, and you turned at it but got the air knocked out of you from
behind. 
 
The door was slammed shut again and you could hear the heavy breathing of the
king rat on top of your back. You could smell the stink from the rat. And no
matter how many times you had screamed, nobody came to help you. You wanted to
vomit once you felt the tiny mice's fur against your cheeks and your arms.
 
You kicked and struggled past the pin of the creature. The giant rat sunk it's
teeth past your clothes and onto your shoulder, and with much power you were
flipped to your back and shrieking once you saw the rats face so close to
yours.
 
Instantly the lights stopped flickering and there was nothing but darkness and
quietness. The squeaking of the mice were inaudible, even your heaving
breathing was. And finally past all the quietness was a disturbance.
 
"Mommy..."
 
A loud cry left your mouth when the lights turned back on and you saw the huge
rat with its mouth gaping open. And out came a disgusting black liquid that
fell into your mouth. Your screams were gargled by the dark fluid going down
your sore throat and into your nostrils. It tasted tangy and foul and smelt of
garbage. With one more flicker of the light, the creature and its underlings
had vanished from your sight. 
 
Your body was jerked forward as you tried to cough out the remains of the thick
blackness that stained your face and your blue dress. 
 
You finally left the dirty bathroom. Even though you were going in the opposite
direction of where your mother had been, your feet just kept taking you
somewhere you didn't want to go to. Past all the buzzing people that stared at
your deranged frame, up the escalator, and soon to an empty hallway that most
homeless people would hang out in, but no one seemed to be there at the time.
 
You soon found yourself laughing uncontrollably and as you tried to turn around
and walk back to your mother, you were staggering to the wall, wild fits of
laughter leaving your wet lips.
 
Your stomach ached from laughing so hard and as you turned around, your feet
just kept moving backwards, carrying you farther and farther into the long
hallway. The hallway echoed with your noisy laughter while you wobbled
backward, leaning over your throbbing stomach from time to time and flinging
your head back only to release more loud laughs. If anyone were to walk by,
they were most likely to think an earthquake was taken place from the way you
drunkenly swayed back and forth.
 
Screams left you while you rabidly rolled against the wall. It was as if
something was controlling your body and you were battling it from the inside
out. Your shrieks rung through the air as you stumbled forwards and reached
your hands into the air as if you saw an angel and was reaching out to it. Your
body felt hot...almost as if it were on fire, and you begun to furiously shake
your head equivalent to how someone would if a spider were crawling in their
hair and they were trying to get it out.
 
Your screeching soon stopped and you were left heavily panting. Your eyes wide
and your face confronted in terror. Almost as if you had just seen a ghost.
Both of the back of your hands were pressed against the side of your face and
constantly being yanked back over and over again. Booming bellows left you as
your body kept bending forward and backwards. 
 
Nails clawing at your forehead then being dragged down your sweaty face as you
moaned out in pain. Your heaving chest, which was wet with your sweat,
painfully ached from how hoarse and heavy your breathing had become. Teeth grit
so harshly that you could feel your veins popping out of your neck, arms wildly
flailing this way and that. This act didn't stop the loud grunts that you
weren't able to control.
 
Your vision became blurry with each step you took. You felt as if you were
about to collapse any minute, and the raging, unmanageable shaking of your head
didn't help. It swung left to right and front to back, till you felt your spine
cramp from the way you arched. You sounded exactly like a bulldog who just
finished going through a hard exertion, and had begun panting so heavily that
anyone asleep would wake up.
 
Your eyes nearly rolled all the way to the back of your head once your heart
beat had quickened. And you finally dropped to the dirty ground, your arms
outstretched and jiggling each time your head bobbed when you took a sharp
inhale and let out a loud rugged exhale. It felt as if your calf had
contracted, and you let out another loud, frenzied holler of pain that dragged
on and on through the hallway. 
 
After being on the ground and having something similar to a seizure for a
couple of minutes, you finally fought on and lurched back onto your wobbling
feet that made you teeter. You quickly groped at your crotch through your dress
that sizzled with pain as you practically made small hops towards the other
white tiled wall. Head continually tossing while you screamed your heart out.
 
When you had finally made it to the wall you could barley even control your
failing arms and instead pressed your jolting, sweaty body against it. You
could hardly breath and your body uncontrollably jerked itself against the
wall. And with one final scream of a banshee, you dropped to the ground like a
rag-doll, certain that you were finally dead until your throbbing, sweaty legs
kicked at the floor and your possessed body rolled on the ground countless
times. 
 
Your loud animal-like panting was brought back as you soon steadied yourself on
your knees and let out moans of pain. Your shaking hands reached towards your
scorching groin. And you let out a scream when you saw nothing but pure blood
pool from beneath your dress. A thick white substance drizzled from your mouth
and nose, and onto the blood. The liquid that piled up in your mouth tasted
like Milk of Magnesia, chalky and pastey.
 
It felt as if you were being stabbed numerous times in your vagina and you had
begun to piss your organs out. You held onto your breath and waited for the
pain to subside. Only for it to come back, but this time a yellowish substance,
that looked like egg yolk, mingled with the blood and the white goop that ran
from your mouth and your nose. You tried to scream out 'help' but instead a
loud distorted screech left your wet lips. 
 
You held onto the unbearable pain once more and waited for it to go away, which
only lasted for one second as you let out another thunderous scream. 
 
"(Name)!" You heard your mother cry out past your screaming, but didn't bother
to look at her. Your mother dropped the bags in her hands and ran towards you.
She gently held you in her arms, getting blood and the white substance all over
her blouse. 
 
"Shh, shh. It's okay (Name). I'm here, I'm here." She comforted you and you
soon stopped your screaming and weakly rested your head against her shoulder.
 
"Come on. We have to get you cleaned then we'll go home so you can rest." 
 
As the both of you slowly walked through the subway station your mother had
gotten asked by many people if you were okay.
 
"Yes, she just had another one of her fits." Your mother would always reply
back with a small friendly smile that she had forced on her face. When she
neared the same bathroom that the king rat had emerged from, you were snapped
out of your trance like state, and furiously shook your head at her. She gave
you a confused look before finally walking out of the damned subway station. 
 
The both you had gotten a ride back home from a kind taxi driver, which you
slept through the ride. Once you had reached home, you still didn't say a word
to the woman, all you did was stare off into your own world, rarely even
blinking. She helped you get undressed and looked concerned about the blood
between your legs. She had washed you up and dressed you in a loose fitting
night gown.
 
"(Name)...can you hear me?" She asked once she had laid you upon your bed. Your
eyes were closed and your face pale and still. "(Name)? Can you hear me?" She
asked again, this time sounding very desperate.
 
"Of course..." You finally opened your eyes to look at the woman. 
 
"This morning you went into a spell, or a fit of a kind. It was...unnatural."
 
"Did I? How interesting." You were now smiling which shocked your mother. She
wouldn't have expected you to smile through all the pain you had went through.
 
"Don't you remember? You've been asleep, mostly." You simply shook your head at
her question.
 
"Who dressed me?" You asked while looking down at the nightgown. The woman was
shocked again. How could you have forgotten so easily?
 
"I-I did..."
 
"Like when I was a little girl!" You exclaimed while looking up at her with the
brightest smile. "Oh no you didn't dress me as a little girl, how silly of me."
You chuckled to yourself.
 
"You weren't there to dress me, were you? You were rarely there. You were away
on some journey or other." The smile grew back onto your lips as your mother
stared at you with confusion.
 
"I always tried to follow you into that odd solarium that you had always gone
off to. But you were in terra incognita. That's where you said you were going.
What adventures you had with those men. Do you feel you are there again,
mother?"
 
"(Name)?" Your mother stumbled to say as she watched you with fear. 
 
All you did was chuckle as you leaned past your mother to pick up the glass of
water on the counter. "Fat grandma wept of course. Is there anything more
comical than seeing a fat woman crying? It never quite comes off." Your mother
slowly moved backwards as she watched you sip the water, then place the cup
gently onto the bed next to you, and move closer to her face.
 
"You hated her fatness. You always have. But fat grandma wept because she had
missed you, until she bit into her pillows so we wouldn't hear her-and then
turned to her pills so she wouldn't sleep at all." You burst into laughing at
how stupid the old woman was before she had gotten her Alzheimer.
 
"Poor fat thing!" You giggled out before sighing and looking back up at your
mother. "Tell me about the other men, mother. Not about William-I know all
about him." Your mother quickly moved away from you with a gasp as she watched
you giggle at her reaction. "You could have attended the funeral for God's
sake-but you hated him! Oh, you hated evil William! The man who fucked you into
oblivion-and gave you this damned baby!" 
 
Your mother gave you an angry look before she clasped her hands tightly
together and took a step closer to you, "Oh, that look, is it now? The look
you'd always give me whenever I went out those days to fuck my friends!" Your
mother watched as the glass of water begun to shake on the bed, "Or at least
you thought! You hadn't even the decency to ask what I did with them! You'd
thought I would lie! Lie just as you did each time you came home early in the
morning from fucking those men, you whore!"
 
Once you had finished your sentence the cup flew upwards and shattered into
pieces against the ceiling. She quickly looked back down at you, who had been
growling like an animal. In an instant you had flung your body upon her and
continuously scraped your nails against her chest in anger. Your loud growls
mingled with her shocked cries as she soon connected her fist to your face.
When you looked back down at the enraged lady she blew another one till you
finally fell to the ground with blood dripping from your lips.
 
                                                                               
                                       ⚌
 
"Honestly, I'm feeling much better." You said while brushing your hair and
looking up at your mother and the man next to her. Dr. McCoy, your pediatrician
since you were a wee little girl. The 40 year old man simply smiled at you as
he watched the dried up bloody spot on your cracked lips.
 
"And where did you recieve your medical degree, Dr. (Surname)?" He questioned
you which made you smile and stop brushing your hair. "Would you excuse us?"
The doctor asked your mother who went as still as a block.
 
"Go on mother. He still thinks i'm ill, I think." Your mother soon slowly
closed the bedroom door and left you and the doctor alone.
 
"May I make a quick examination?" The doctor begun to take of his jacket and
placed his big black bag onto a small chair in your room. You simply smiled at
his question before answering, "Discretion, always..."
 
"What happened to your lip?" He asked while placing his cold stethoscope to
your chest.
 
"My mother thought it was best to 'sedate' me. Crazy old woman."
 
"You have a steady pulse." He soon took hold of your head and stared into your
eyes and told you to 'look up' or 'to the right' before he took his auriscope
and checked inside your ears, which tickled.
 
"Your visual responses are perfectly adequate." He soon placed all of his items
back into his bag and crouched down to feel your stomach. "You have to eat
something."
 
"I'm not hungry for soup or porridge," You said as your eyes wondered around
the room, "Cotton candy is what I want now." You slowly took his big hands in
yours, "You have very clean hands."
 
"...Yes I suppose so..." He awkwardly stated as he watched you eye his hand.
"Do you like to stay clean?"
 
"I suppose I do..." His hand soon begun to slip away from yours, only for you
to quickly grasp them and bring them upwards.
 
"That's why your still a virgin!" You exclaimed while resting his hand onto
your cheek, "Or maybe not! Who can tell about such things in life? Suck hidden
things?" He looked stunned as to what you were saying and by the way your eyes
had widened so big as you talked.
 
"Such secrets we have, don't we, Doctor?" You rubbed his thumb against your
dried lips. Abruptly, you widely opened your mouth to bite off his thumb in a
playful way. He quickly pulled his hand back, watching you in shock with your
gritted teeth.
 
"There's this line I heard once. Once from a woman with bright blonde hair say.
'The day which we fear as our last, is but the birthday of eternity'." The man
quickly got up to his feet, breathing deeply and placing the back of his
trembling hand to his lips.
 
"Your clean hands are trembling. Are you afraid?" You asked. The brown haired
man had no idea how you had knew about his deceased wife, or how you had heard
that quote she would always say.
 
"No. Not of you." Was all he said once he had regained composure.
 
"Hmm, do you know of a greater demon? Tell me of him. Or shall I tell you?" You
asked while drawing your knees close to your chest as you watched him gape at
you with such fear that made your smile widen. He soon walked over to his bag
and picked it up along with his jacket.
 
"Is the examination over?" You watched him quickly head for the door. Instead
of answering your question, he simply shut it.
 
 
"What should we do?" Your mother asked the doctor once he had taken a seat in
the kitchen.
 
"I have to ask you a question. Has she ever been touched sexually? In a way
that she didn't like?" Your mothers mouth was left gaping open at the question
before she blinked a few times, "N-no-I-I...no." 
 
"Well, (Name) seems to have a deep psychosexual responsiveness. I would say
that the root of her condition lies there. In guilt. Something or someone has
triggered it."
 
"Well, she use to hang out a lot with her friends. Most of them were boys." 
 
"Okay. Let's imagine this. She has an erotic encounter with one of the boys,
maybe all we don't know. And it evolves into some sort of sexual perversity
that produces feelings of shame or guilt. That might produce-" Before he could
finish the sentence your loud screams filled the house. Your mother quickly ran
upstairs to check up on you. And the door bell loudly rung which caused Dr.
McCoy to jump in fear. 
 
Once he had seen who was by the door, he soon opened it and before he could say
anything to the little ginger girl before him, your loud eerie screams had
filled both of their ears. The girl had pushed her way past the man and had run
upstairs.
 
The sight before her had made everyone go silent. On the floor were splatters
of your vomit and dozens of your clothes which had been flung onto the ground.
And there was you, huddled up in the corner of the room and slightly rocking
back and forth as you softly groaned to yourself.
 
"My God..."
 
"B-Beverly...?" Your mother had asked once she saw the ginger girl standing
next to her, who had looked just as surprised as everyone else. She soon slowly
made her way towards you.
 
"(Name)...it's me Beverly...you weren't answering any of my calls so I decided
to check up on you." She said once she was crouched in front of you. She softly
took your hand in hers and watched as your dry lips slightly moved, "N-no one
has ever taken my hand so sweetly for many years." You sniffled out as you
looked up at her saddened face. 
 
"Can I ask you a question, Beverly?"
 
"Of course..." She whispered out.
 
"Did you fuck them? Or did they fuck you?" Your words caused Beverly to recoil
as she watched you with shock.
 
"At the Neibolt House. The group of you. You know what I'm talking about,
Beverly." You said while gasping as the girl took a small step away from you
and let go of your hand.
 
"You fucked them, didn't you?" You asked with a dark smile on your lips. The
frightened girl took another step back as she watched you weakly smile up at
her and contort your head downwards as distorted moans left your mouth.
 
"Mmm. Goddamn. Did you enjoy it?" You looked back up at her with half-lidded
eyes as you placed your sweaty palms among the ground, and moved closer to her.
"You fucked them and you left little old me out. Why didn't you tell meeee?"
 
"Yeah...fuck behind my back and don't tell me..." You moaned out as you know
looked up at the girl on all fours. "Guess that Henry boy was right...he did
try to warn the others...she'll do you...just like ssssshe did meeee." You
mocked Henry's voice and your head snapped towards your mother once you heard
her talk.
 
"The sedative, doctor..." She said while she watched you. You looked at her,
your gritted mouth begin pulled into a snarl once the both of you made eye
contact.
 
"Ah. Is the whore back for more?!" With one quick motion you had leaped upon
your mother and got pushed back from Dr.McCoy. 
 
"Don't touch me! Virgin doctor!" You grabbed Dr. McCoy's hand and pulled him
towards you with your mouth opened up in a snarl.
 
"Restrain her!" Your mother yelled out as the Doctor grabbed your arms and your
mother tightly wrapped her arms around your torso. Beverly watched in
incredulity as you spat and kicked at them.
 
"Leave her! You imbeciles! Leave her to meeee! You fools-you fools-you fools!
Kill her-kill her-kill her-kill her!" Dr. McCoy soon took the needle and pushed
it into your arm, which instantly weakened you.
 
"Kill...her...kill..." You gasped out and fell downward. Beverly quickly helped
by supporting you. You looked at her with your wide eyes and gaping mouth,
"Hate...you..." Finally closing your eyes and hunching over lifelessly.
***** Caught Between Two Stools *****
Chapter Notes
     WARNING WARNING: This chapter was lazily written and has pure filth
     in it! Enjoy if you may ┌( ಠ‿ಠ)┘
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"Why don't you slice up those cow tits of yours and make me a sandwich?!" 
 
"Oh, shut up Rich! Being a dick won't make yours any bigger!" You and your
friends had been playing Would You Rather. And Richie had seemed to disagree on
your decision to the question (Would you rather get cum in your hair after
you've finished styling it or right in your eye)?
 
"Besides, I wear glasses, so being cummed in the eye won't do shit to me." You
rolled your eyes at him while the others laughed their asses off.
 
"Okay-okay! This one! Have sex with someone who hasn't showered in a year or
someone who hasn't brushed their teeth in a year!" Eddie exclaimed as everyone
pondered on the answer.
 
"Someone who hasn't brushed their teeth in a year! You don't even gotta kiss
'em or let them give you a BJ! Just dick her down and that's it!" Richie piped
up. He was always quick to answer the sexual questions...not a surprise.
 
You'd go home after spending some time with them, only to get yelled at by your
mother once she came home from work. 
 
"Mr. Joe told me he saw you with a group of boys. (Name), mind telling me
what's going on?"
 
"Nothing! And Beverly was there too! You know her, she would never let anything
bad happen to me!" Your mother would rub her temples and let out a sigh before
demanding you to go to your bed room.
 
Once you could faintly hear the opening of Sing Your Praise To The Lord
downstairs, you'd jump off your bed and grab the small razor blade hidden in
your drawer.
 
"Mummy, why am I always sad? Why doesn't God make me happy?" You'd ask your
mother when you were merely 5 years old, clutching onto your stuffed blue
rabbit and looking up at the woman who had been cutting up radishes.
 
"(Name), God doesn't want you to be happy. He wants you to be strong."
 
                                                                               
                                               *
 
You awakened from your sleep with a loud gasp. You were sweaty and felt
parched, and quickly swung your head to the left and right frantically. Nobody
was in sight. That's when you could make out the door in the corner of the dark
room. You moved your numb legs, and ran towards it. You wanted to get out of
here-you needed to get out of here, or the thing would surely come back for
you. 
 
You hurriedly twisted and pulled at the door knob which was locked and pounded
on the door, screaming at the top of your lungs for help. You had finally
gotten fed up and decided to kick the door down like you would see in the
movies, before you heard a voice, "(Name), what are you doing up? Go back to
sleep, your still sick-sick as a dog."
 
"M-Mr. Gray?" You couldn't stop shaking once you caught the tall man standing
in the shadows of your room. Instead of feeling relieved and happy, you felt
scared. Your head was spinning, you had no idea what was going on, and you
thought he were here to rape you.
 
"Why don't you come here, my darkling?" You quickly shook your head at his
question and stayed pressed to the door. "What? Is it something that I said? Am
I ugly? Don't ya like me anymore? I sure as hell liked you." You wished he
wouldn't but he did. He took a step closer to you and all you did was
continuously shake your out stretched hand at him. Once he was in front of you,
you turned around and let out shrieks while slamming at the door.
 
His eyes were yellow. The color of the Devil's eyes. All of Hell's bells went
off in your ears, and you tried your hardest to escape. Your loud screams and
uncontrollable banging on the hard wooden exit came to a stop once you had felt
two fleecy hands snake up your abdomen, and finally, gently rest upon your
breasts. Hot air fanned against your ear when he spoke, "Finally...I finally
got my hands on you again. There's no need to run away from me, just come down
to the sewers with me instead of being here. The whole day...just the two of
us...doesn't that sound wonderful, my dear?"
 
You were frozen in place, and broke down in a cold sweat like you usually did
when he were around you, "N-no..."
 
"Ahahaha!" His hands quickly left your chest, and you had gotten forcefully
pulled by your right wrist, bumping straight into his hard abdomen. "I've never
felt this good my whole life! Just being with you is a far greater pleasure
than anything I could imagine. It feels like I'm going to die if i'm not near
you. Even taking control of your body isn't enough for me!" 
 
You could hardly see anything from how tight he held you to himself. His
breathing grew hoarse and you could tell he was trying to control it, "Doesn't
it feel nice to have someone care about you so much? To have someone who wants
to stay with you forever? But if it feels so good...then why does it feel more
and more like something horrible is going to happen between us? Maybe that's
why I tried stopping myself at first...but the feeling is too strong now. I
don't care anymore, (Name)!"
 
"I-I don't like you!" Your scream was muffled against his body, which only made
him release a loud HA! "You can keep saying that, my dear. But I know that
somewhere, deep in that little shriveled up cockroach heart, that you truly
care for me. I must tell you! I'm...I'm obsessed with you! I don't care what
the consequences are anymore! I don't care if your friends will cry! I care
about you so much that I even kept that little necklace that Bev gave you." You
gasped at his words. He actually had feelings? And he kept the necklace?
 
"I just want to rip open your skin and crawl inside of you. I want you all to
myself...doesn't that sound PERFECT?!" He giggled a bit at the last part, "N-
no...I don't want you..."
 
It was silent for a moment before he let out a small laugh, "...Ahahaha.
Ahahahaha! AHAHAHA!"The grip on you soon loosened and you swiftly pulled away
from the clown who was laughing like a maniac. 
 
"I-I'm sorry! I can't...I can't...YOUR GOING TO KILL ME!" He was silenced once
you had yelled at him. His eyes were filled with so much emotion you couldn't
tell if he were sad or angry or happy or scared or excited.
 
"I'm sorry. Look y-you're right-I do care about you...but I can't be with you,
because you'll kill me! Just like all the other kids! This isn't something new!
You probably daydream about the others as well you sicko! To be honest...I wish
we could become better strangers."Your hands trembled with each word you said,
you knew he was bound to do something unpredictable. That's what he was, an
unpredictable mess.
 
"My poor (Name). You are no stranger to me. I know everything about you. And
when you had told Mr. Gray about yourself, I couldn't help but laugh, because I
knew everything already. It was almost as fun as watching you sleep at nights,
or hearing you scream, or seeing your lovely skin when you change clothes.
(Name), I get so tired of watching, I want to start doing."
 
"Y-you sick fuc-"
 
"I'll never let you go...never...never...NEVER!" A loud scream left your lips
when all of your drawers begun to loudly rumble and shake, till the items fell
to the ground. And as fast as you could say 'Jack Robinson' you had grabbed the
door handle and swung it open with all the power you had, and quickly ran out
the bedroom and into the kitchen.
 
"MOTHER! We have to get out of here we have to!" As the words left your lips,
the loud sounds emitting from your bedroom had stopped and you stared up at the
staircase in confusion.
 
"(Name)?! What are you doing down here?! You have to get some rest!" Your
mother said while walking towards you. You had noticed that both her and Dr.
McCoy's clothes had changed.
 
"W-wait mother! How long have I been asleep!" She stopped pushing you and gave
you a concerned look, "For a whole day." You could hear the abrupt tolling of a
bell as you took in what she said. A whole day?!
 
"M-m-mother!!! No, I-I saw...I saw...a RAT!" You quickly ducked past her arms
and ran into the living room. Dr. McCoy gave you a confused look before
talking, "Is everything alright, (Name)? You look very hungry, please sit down
and eat." You shook your head at his question in fear, before you realized that
someone was missing.
 
"Where's Beverly?"
 
"Oh! Your friend? She had to leave. She said something about her father and she
looked as if she were about to cry...poor girl." You ran back into the kitchen
and dialed Beverly's phone number. Even though it was late at night, she might
have still been awake. Abruptly the sound of your mother's scream filled your
ears. Dr. McCoy signaled for you to stay downstairs as he quickly went up into
your bedroom to check on your mother.
 
"No! Don't go up there!" You quickly followed after him and what you saw in
your room made your knees feel weak. Crawling and squeaking were millions upon
millions of mice on your bedroom floor! You felt so dizzy  and disorientated
that you had begun to see small fuzzy black dots, until everything had
pixelated into darkness.
 
                                                                               
                                               *
 
The next day, you had woken up early in the morning. But one thing wasn't
right, you were in your mother's bedroom. She was nowhere to be seen in the
room, and you swore that that idiot woman hardly cared for you. 
 
Flashbacks of what had happened yesterday filled your head and you let out a
heavy sigh. You didn't want this war to continue happening, you wanted it to be
over. You weren't a fighter. You weren't a hero, and your friends simply
betrayed you. Maybe giving up yourself to Pennywise would be better. He'd have
something to eat, right? Unless he stuck to his words and planned on torturing
you again.
 
You passed your bedroom, then the bathroom and made your way down to the
kitchen where you saw a ham sandwich on the table. Your eyes were glued to the
corded house phone on the wall. Were you sure that you wanted to call Beverly?
You were hopeless, alright. And desperate...maybe talking to her wouldn't be
such a bad thing? Maybe hearing her voice would give you a bit of hope.
 
"Hello...?" 
 
"(Name), is that you?" You went silent when you heard her voice, and you
remembered that same day where you had refused to go to the Neibolt House.
Suddenly, a thought ran through your head, like a wave would across sand. All
smooth and barley in a hushed whisper
 
She fucked them.
 
"Y-you fucked them..."
 
"Huh? (Name), was that you?"
 
"You fucked them! YOU FUCKING WHORE-"
 
"(NAME), LISTEN TO ME!!!" Everything went silent until she finally spoke. "We
saw It, (Name). We defeated It, you shouldn't be upset." You knew she was wrong
but decided to stay silent.
 
"We were lost, and cold, and nearly divided, (Name). Without doing that...I
don't think I would be talking to you on the phone right now."
 
"Oh. Did you tell yourself that last night? Hmm? While I was home, dying, you
fucked the others. I guess I should just go die now!"
 
"No don't!!!!"
 
"You should learn how to take a joke as easily as you take dicks, whore!" You
hung the phone up in rage and sadness. You felt as if you were truly the worst
friend anybody could ever have. You didn't even tell her that It wasn't
defeated. Sobs left your mouth as you wiped at your running nose. Maybe you
really 
should
 die now.
 
"(Name), who were you talking to?" Your mothers voice caused you to gasp and
jump, before looking over at her. She wore on a gray robe, held a yellow
medicine bottle in her hands along with a small glass of water, "I was in the
living room."
 
"Beverly...Don't worry about it though. Just a little disagreement." The woman
in front of you looked nothing but uninterested as she popped out two pills
from the bottle.
 
"Here. Dr. McCoy prescribed this, he said you need sleep." You hesitantly took
the pills and the water bottle and simply stared at it. "Take it, and go take a
shower then eat." You swallowed the blue and red pill before your mother had
spoke again, "Open your mouth." You showed the stubborn woman that you had
taken your medicine before you went upstairs to wash up.
 
After taking the shower and eating, you went back downstairs and rested on the
couch.
 
You were too afraid to sleep in your own bedroom or even your mother's after
everything that had happened. The sound of the running water from the sink was
comforting to you, and you soon found yourself drifting off to sleep.
 
                                                                               
                                           *
 
The red room
 
You had been here before, and when ever you were, it meant no good. 
 
The clown stood in front of you, holding something in the palm of his big
gloved hand. You could see it, a single razor, that he presented to you with a
disturbing smile.
 
"Razors have so many interesting uses, don't ya think?" 
 
You looked up at him. His snake eyes never leaving you. Then a small pang of
guilt ran through your body. You took the razor and put numerous deep cuts into
your left arm which had begun to heal. But you had cut the way Pennywise had
told you to long time ago, vertically. You could hear him take a deep inhale
and let out a loud exhale, "You smell different when your sad."
 
"I don't...care..." Was all you said while placing the 10th cut on your arm.
When you were done you simply let the small blade that was stained with the
color of vermilion slip from your hands and onto the ground. It was as if your
mind was somewhere else, racing with millions of thoughts at the speed of
light. One in particular had snapped you out of your reverie, "She...fucked
them...they fucked her...and they broke me..."
 
"Mother told you to stay away from them didn't she? Mother told you it would be
like this."
 
"Yeah, she did. I feel like a part of me...had just died." You watched as the
liquid fell from your eyes and pattered onto the bright red ground.
 
"You know..." He stated while lightly gliding his hands down your neck, "The
veins in your neck are exquisite. Simply exquisite." Even though his
compliments were creepy, they warmed you. You leaned in closer to his touch
till you were practically standing on your toes. He was comforting to you.
 
"(Name), I won't tell anyone...so I hope that you could be a bit more honest
with me." You looked up at his smiling face with confusion, "You and I are the
same, but different, and different but also the same. One thing that is for
sure...I'm on your side. So...please tell me. What is it that you want?" 
 
The words that left his mouth were loud and clear to you. Maybe he really was
on your side and was simply trying to wake you up? Maybe the others were the
true villains, but in secrecy. Maybe that was how it truly was. And you wanted
that one itch in the back of your throat gone. That one itch that wouldn't
leave and kept invading your mind every where you went.
 
"I want...what Beverly and the others didn't give me..." In a flash everything
turned into pure darkness, Pennywise was missing and you were left alone and
scared. Flashes of images of your friends shun right before your eyes which
causes you to recoil in surprise. More and more pictures started to flood your
vision until you had tightly shut your wet eyes and opened them.
 
You were placed in your bedroom. It was dark outside from the view of your
window, and that meant that your mother must've been asleep.
 
"That was...one hell of a dream." You scratched the back of your head while
getting off of the bed. You remembered that you had cut yourself and looked at
your left arm, to see no wounds. You slowly rubbed your arm up and down,
feeling goosebumps all over your body. Did the Devil come back?
 
Perhaps this wasn't a good choice. Maybe you should have apologized to Beverly.
 
"My dear, if you leave me I will surely die. Would you like that?" You shook
your head at his question. You could hear him but you couldn't see him. "Good,
or else I would have taken control of your body again, it's so much fun
watching you writhe in pain." Something touching the back of your neck, gently
lifting the tendrils of your hair upwards.
 
You could feel something like a feather stroke against your cheek, "I can hear
your heart. It's beating like a humming bird, are you that scared?" You shook
your head again at his question.
 
"Your friends have filled your brain with so much lies. Can't you feel
them...crawling back into your ears?" You could. And you rubbed your ears as if
a moth were trying to get within them and nest.
 
"You must refuse them, and accept me." You were hesitant at first, but then
said the thing you hadn't told him in a long time.
 
"I accept you..." You could tell something aroused within him from the way you
could hear his uneven breathing and felt something touching your breasts,
something stroking your breasts and thighs. "Your such a good girl, you must be
dying for your reward, I can practically see you frothing at the mouth! I can
smell it radiating off of you, the strong scent!" You suddenly felt sleepy even
though you had just woken up. Were the pills meant to do this? You told the
Devil to 'stop' and rested upon your bed. Your eyes felt heavy and you felt as
if you were dreaming when you looked up at the dark ceiling and saw that it
begun to slowly sink towards you.
 
Something touching your face and your tender nipples which caused you to bite
down hard onto your lips. "I'm telling you to stop, I don't want this anymore.
I hate this. I don't want to see you." You whispered but you meant the very
opposite, that you would cry out in agony if it stopped. "Stop making me think
of my friends..."
 
You could feel the moisture pumping between your legs, and your body, opening
like a flower would. 
 
"But I know you don't want me to (Name). I know that you love me." He giggled
and you could feel something soft touch your lips and the side of your neck.
The sucking came hard, rhythmic and rough on your nipples. You could feel your
face flush in embarrassment when your arms were flung out and the nightgown was
lifted off of you, until you were sweetly lying there, naked for him.
 
Opening like a purple iris in a garden. Like the roses exploding on the ends of
their darkened stems and the leaves with so many sharp points in them.
 
Hot tongues licking your nipples, lips closing on them, then pulling them. Now,
you couldn't stop the sounds from leaving you. No matter now tight you closed
your watery eyes and bit your lips till you felt pain, your mouth shot open and
the loud noises left you. 
 
You were soaked and your chest heaved up and down, but he wasn't done just yet.
He wanted more. He lifted you so that your head fell backwards, your hair
tumbling down, your eyes closed and hands laid behind you in pure surrender.
 
The mouths pulled harder on your hard nipples, the tongues lapping greedily at
them, the sharp fingers in between your thighs that made you wail in pain. The
hardness gliding along your wet folds and inwards. Your senses were flooded
with the smell of clean, hard flesh and of sweet candy. 
 
It slammed into you and the pain soon turned into pleasure. Your body was
abruptly pinned to the bed and the length burned you as it drove deeper and
deeper, scraping your small clit, and out stretching your vagina. You were
nearly split apart. A laid waste when the orgasm flooded through you. Your mind
blank except for the raging blinding colors before you. You heard your own
cries, but they were far away, unimportant and flowing out of your mouth in a
divine release after the immature sex.
 
You laid underneath your covers, naked. The sun had begun streaming in the
windows on the front of the house. And the memory of what had happened wounded
you. You were nothing but what Beverly was. A slut, a whore. It felt as if God
was mocking you, laughing at you each time you regretted doing the horrible
things you do. 
 
But somehow, your Devil was never quite what you expected when you met him face
to face. You had realized that the Devil wasn't some man with horns and a tail.
He can be beautiful, because he's a fallen angel. And use to be God's favorite.
Chapter End Notes
     Hell is empty and all the devils are here...
***** Just a note *****
You probably thought that this was another chapter, but It's not, sorry ;( I
just wanted to say that I won't be uploading for quite some time. I've been
falling back into my unhealthy coping mechanisms and have had been having bad
days at school that just made me wanna end it all. I'm super sorry for getting
your hopes up, only to let it down. I just wanted to get this out of my already
foggy head. Many thanks to my readers out there ♡
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!