Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/13378728.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Gotham_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Harvey_Bullock/Jim_Gordon
  Character:
      Jim_Gordon, Harvey_Bullock, Ivy_Pepper_(Gotham), Leslie_Thompkins
  Additional Tags:
      Adult_Content, Explicit_Language, Underage_Sex, Drinking
  Stats:
      Published: 2018-01-15 Words: 8340
****** Ought to Be Ashamed ******
by deawrites
Summary
     Harvey can't stop thinking about Jim. Part 2 of "No Shame".
Notes
     All mistakes are my own. All kudos, comments, criticisms and
     suggestions welcome.
     To my wife - my own personal obsession.
  This work was inspired by
      No_Shame by deawrites
Ivy Pepper slipped out from between the hanging tarps, one pulled aside to
permit her view out of their little cubby hole in the hostile warehouse. She
had come to think of it as ‘theirs’ because Jim shared it with her. He shared
everything food, money, and clothes. She knew he barely had anything to his
name; he traveled light he said; but there were still things a person needed.
Jim always seemed to get them one way or another. Kat helped sometimes too; but
she was busy with her own life and had little time anymore for the likes of
Ivy. Jim had time. He had loads and loads of it. He never shooed her away or
told her she was too young, or not cool enough to know things. Kat did that
sometimes; but Ivy knew that Kat was still her friend and loved her. She just
didn’t talk much about ‘adult stuff’ around her. Ivy was no little kid; she was
almost twelve and knew how to take care of herself. Jim knew that; Jim treated
her like his equal. Therefore, whenever Jim asked her to watch their little
cubby hole and their things, she did so even if it was boring at times. Jim
brought her comic books and those were fun. Ivy liked the artwork in them. He
brought her seeds too. Together with her cobbled planting pots and soil, she
grew some of her little experiments. Jim didn’t think they were stupid; in
fact, he asked her about them regularly. He listened to her when she talked
about them and he remembered. Ivy liked best of all that Jim remembered the
things she said.
 
Ivy liked Jim. He did what he said he was going to do and every time he did it.
So, when he said he would be home and hadn’t come back the previous night, Ivy
worried. She saw him walking through the opening in the wall that the kids/
teens used as an entry way and quick exit, she rushed out of their cubby hole
and too him.
 
“Where were you?” Ivy demanded half angry, half frightened. The look on Jim’s
face told her that he was sorry even before he said the words. Jim was like
that; if he made a mistake he was sorry and never tried to do it again. “I
waited up, but you never came home!” Ivy threw her arms around Jim’s middle and
hugged him tight. Jim was one of the only people in the world; besides Kat;
that Ivy was never afraid would hit her. They were just like that.
 
“I’m sorry Ivy.” Jim said petting her tangled and matted red hair down her
back. “I told you I’d try and be back, I really thought I would have been, but,
one of my clients had me stay the night. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Jim
hugged her close and Ivy pressed her nose to his chest.
 
“You smell good. Did he let you wash?” Jim nodded as she gazed up at him. “Does
this mean we can eat?”
 
Jim nodded. “I’ll go pick us up some food at the grocery store after I change.
You can come with me if you want too.”
 
Ivy did. Jim always bought her gummy bears as a special treat when they went
shopping. This time she was glad that they wouldn’t have to steal anything. Jim
hated stealing and told her it was wrong. Ivy didn’t think it was; her father
stole; lots of people stole for survival in Gotham but Jim didn’t seem to
approve of that anyway. Therefore, Ivy never told Jim whenever she stole
something, unless she gave to him as a gift. Things like that mattered to Jim,
and Jim mattered to Ivy. She knew that she mattered to him too.
 
As the days ticked by Harvey grew increasingly frustrated. He refused to sleep
in his bed because every time he looked at the rumpled sheets and mushed
together pillows, he couldn’t un-see the vision that was Jim asleep there.
Harvey slept on the couch and he slept badly. Drinking didn’t help, it
depressed him more and just made him angrier.  Work was a distraction but a
mild one at that. Murders and robberies were abundant in Gotham and since Dix’s
‘accident’ a great deal of Harvey ceased to care. He wanted too; wished too;
longed too; but he just couldn’t muster the energy to give a damn. Dix had
warned him for years that this would happen to him if he tried to be a hero.
Harvey wished he had listened, but it was far too late; Dix was wheelchair
bound and Harvey couldn’t keep his thoughts off a fifteen-year-old hustler
named Jim.
 
The next time Harvey prowled the corner workers he dared to ask about if Jim
had been back. Trina informed him that they had successfully chased his candy
ass off their corner. Harvey’s expression was schooled, and he took one of the
other women home for a few hours just on principle. It wasn’t the best sex he
had ever had, in fact he couldn’t quit comparing it to what had happened with
Jim. Harvey stopped the woman; Rohinda; half way through the blow job and just
went straight to the penetration portion of the exchange. Her mouth was warm
and wet, but it didn’t feel like Jim’s; it wasn’t Jim’s’ and somehow that made
all the difference in the world to him. After Rohinda left with her money
Harvey kicked the coffee table over in frustration. He wanted to punch
something, so he did; broke the dry wall over the couch but didn’t care. The
pounding in his fist calmed his fury somewhat and he found himself collapsing
onto the couch and staring up at the ceiling.
 
He couldn’t go on like this. There was only one way to stave off the obsession
that had been brewing in his mind since he had first clapped eyes upon the kid.
Harvey needed to see Jim. With a groan Harvey pulled himself up from the couch
and grabbed his fedora and coat. He knew from working Vice briefly; where the
best rent boys hung out in what was referred to as, ‘the meat rack’ and he
headed there before he could change his mind. He almost aborted twice at
separate stoplights, but his resolve re-steeled and he continued onward past
Capital to twenty-first and Magnolia. He slowed the car and searched the
loitering offerings of the night. His heart beat sped up the instant he saw the
familiar sway of hips and blond hair. Jim was exiting a liquor store and
handing something to a girl in a dirty green and white stripped sweater. Harvey
pulled up illegally before the liquor store and tapped the horn to get Jim’s
attention.
 
Immediately another hustler filled his passenger window offering god knew what,
because he barely uttered a word when Harvey snapped at him, “Clear off! Not
here to see you, asshole.” He pointed behind the boy, who turned and glared at
Jim. The annoyance flipped Harvey off and spat at this car as he walked away,
uttering none too pleasant insults. Jim’s expression seemed to light up and
Harvey tried to tell himself it was just his imagination willing that to be so,
and he waited for Jim to lean in the window.
 
“Harvey. What are you, are you looking for me?”
 
Harvey nodded. “Who’s the girl?” Harvey asked motioning to the girl in the
sweater. She was standing twisting back and forth a little and munching on what
Harvey realized from the bag, were gummy bears. “She’s not working, too is
she?” Concern, not desire tinged Harvey’s tone.
 
“That’s Ivy.” Jim stated protectively. “She doesn’t work the circuit. She’s
just here for my protection.” Harvey arched an eye brow. “She has a good memory
for license plates.” Jim explained, and Harvey nodded in approval.
 
“Tell her you’ll see her tomorrow and get in the car.”
 
Jim smirked mischievously. “What if I don’t want too?”
 
Harvey’s jaw set, even Jim’s teasing rankling him. He wanted what he wanted,
and he needed it now.  “I’m paying you this time. That enough incentive?”
 
Jim’s smirk vanished. “Can we drop her off at the warehouse first?” Harvey
readily agreed and Jim summoned Ivy over. “This is the cop I told you about,
Harvey. I’m going with him tonight and he agreed to drop you off at home.”
 
Ivy looked from Harvey to Jim and shook her head. “I’m not getting into no
Pig’s car. They’re liars Jim. I’ll get myself home.”
 
Jim touched her shoulder. “Okay. Just be careful yeah?”
 
“Oh, yeah!” Ivy assured him with a smile. She stuck her tongue out at Harvey,
called him a Pig and strolled confidently away from the car. Jim chuckled at
her departure and got in the passenger side.
 
“I look out for her.” Jim admitted as Harvey pulled back into traffic.
 
“Yeah? Well she acts like she’s your pimp.”
 
Jim considered this. “Maybe she is in a way.”
 
Surprise tinged Harvey’s voice. “What do ya mean? She set up your ‘clients’ for
you or something?”
 
“No.” Jim chuckled scooting on the seat just a little bit closer to Harvey.
“But she takes about half of everything I earn.” Jim admitted unashamed.
 
“That kid looks like she can handle her own. Does she give you half of her
pay?”
 
“Sure.”
 
Skeptically Harvey eyed Jim.  “How’s she get her money?”
 
“Do you really want to know?”
 
“Just curious.” Harvey shook his head. “I guess I’m one of your clients now.”
The words hurt him to say, yet both Jim and Harvey knew they were nonetheless
true. “She gonna break my knee caps if I don’t treat you right, Junior?”
 
A genuine smile broke out across Jim’s features. “She’s actually not that bad
with a baseball bat, so I wouldn’t step wrong if I were you.” Jim finished
closing the distance between them on the bench seat and ran a hand up Harvey’s
thigh just like he had their first night together.  “I’m glad you came back.”
He whispered to the skin just above Harvey’s collar beneath his ear.
 
Harvey called upon every dissociative skill he had learned to keep his hands
calmly upon the steering wheel and his eyes upon the road. “Don’t start
something we’re not going to finish until we get back to my place, Jim.” Harvey
warned, his tone more even than he fully expected it to be.
 
Jim laughed triumphantly and sat back a little, but left his hand upon Harvey’s
thigh. “All right. I’ll be good for now.” Harvey was anxious to get Jim to his
apartment, so he wouldn’t have to be restrained in his behavior any longer.
 
The moment Harvey had his apartment door closed he had Jim pressed up against
it and was ravaging his mouth with his tongue. Jim moaned and climbed Harvey to
wrap his arms around his shoulders and throat, and his legs around his waist.
Pinned between the door and Harvey’s support Jim felt alight with desire.
Harvey tried to shove a hand down the back of Jim’s jeans but was stopped by
the tight fit of them. He managed to walk them to the bedroom and lowered
himself and Jim upon the bed. Harvey then pushed up Jim’s tee shirt and began
to kiss his chest and stomach. Jim moaned and kicked his sneakers off onto the
floor and reached down to unbuckle Harvey’s belt.
 
“Miss me Harvey?” Jim asked breathless and anxious to feel Harvey’s weight and
length in his hands. “It’s alright if you did. I’ve missed you too.”
 
The skin of Jim’s chest was a little red from the scrape of his beard and
Harvey raised his head. “Baby, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”
Harvey went back to kissing Jim and all attempts to disrobe him were abandoned
as Jim held on to him completely as they kissed. Later, through kisses and
Jim’s urging hands, Jim was able to convince Harvey to allow him to take off
some clothing. Once he started getting naked Harvey followed suit. It was clear
to Jim what Harvey wanted and he went about giving it to him.
 
Oral sex helped take the edge off for Harvey a little. He lay on his back and
Jim was between his legs, acting like he was the happiest he could ever be
right there. Harvey had to wonder if it could be an act, but Jim seemed so
sincere in the way he was reverent with Harvey at times. How he scented him and
took his time. Jim incorporated quite a bit of caressing upon his testicles and
premium, that Harvey didn’t even tense when he felt the press of Jim’s thumb at
his entrance. He came off the bed a little, groaning with pleasure and Jim
looked up at him.
 
“Hasn’t anyone ever touched you like that before?”
 
“There, yes. Like that? Never.”
 
Jim’s grin returned, and he pushed a little on the globes of flesh of Harvey’s
ass parting them. “Then you’re going to love this. Trust me?” He didn’t wait
for Harvey to respond before he dipped his head back down and lapped his tongue
lightly over Harvey’s hole. Harvey had girlfriends that had tried that before,
but Harvey just didn’t find it that appealing. Now however, he felt the jolt of
pleasure rocket up his spine and he moaned loudly, almost embarrassingly; as
Jim drilled his tongue into him. Harvey groped for a hand hold above his head,
and finding nothing but the mattress and pillows he surrendered and pushed his
legs back, rotating his hips up to give Jim easier access.
 
At first, Harvey wasn’t certain which one of them was moaning louder, but then
by degrees he realized it was him. Jim was talented at blow jobs but this; this
he was a master. It didn’t take long for Harvey to come, but that didn’t stop
Jim from continuing to spear him and lave at his hole. After a while Jim moved
to kiss up the inside of one of Harvey’s thighs and looked at him, eyes wide
and breath panting. “Will you do it to me now?” Jim was anxious to feel the
scratch of Harvey’s beard and the slick heat of his tongue in the most
sensitive of areas of his body. Harvey could barely answer, but he nodded, and
Jim lay down upon his stomach. With a quick position change, Harvey began to
prepare himself to dive right in. He thought that such an action would bother
him, the scent or texture or some such, but he was so wound up with lust that
he didn’t care about anything. All he wanted to do was hear sweet sounds
emanate from Jim’s throat and be the reason they were sung.
 
Jim pushed back against him and Harvey was lost. He ravaged and lapped, speared
and bit at Jim’s pink hole until he was puffy and ready for him. Harvey put
lube on his cock and now on his knees, he pulled Jim up by the hips and started
the slow, meticulous slide into the teen. “Fuck Jim!” He moaned above Jim’s own
praises. “You feel so damned tight. Gotta fuck you open. Shit!”
 
Jim moaned and pushed back against Harvey and onto his cock. “Do it.” Jim
encouraged mad with lust. “Fuck me until I beg you to stop. Please Harvey, fuck
me!”
 
The way Jim counter thrust against him, Harvey knew there was no way that Jim
would ask him to stop. The only begging he would be doing was for more. Harvey
intended to give him everything he had, and having come once over an hour ago
he was confident that it would take much longer for him to come this time. Jim
would get his wish, and Harvey would continue to fuck into him. As for Jim, he
never wanted Harvey to stop. He loved the way he was being filled. He loved the
depth and strength of Harvey’s thrusts and how his prostate was brought into
the equation with Harvey’s angle and speed. Sex was never good like it was with
Harvey. He wanted him, and none of his clients were anything but merely a means
to an end; something to be endured and not enjoyed. However, with Harvey?
Everything was different; better; meaningful in it’s way and Jim didn’t want to
lose it. As long as Harvey would keep coming around Jim would service him in
all ways possible.
 
Jim’s orgasm took both males by surprise and Harvey cried out as Jim tightened
reflexively around him. He cursed, pounding into Jim with a few stutters before
getting his pace back as Jim relaxed. Jim could barely hold his head up from
the mattress and clutched at the bedclothes as Harvey continued to thrust into
his hole, his over sensitized cock rubbing against the blanket until Harvey
jerked his hips back up further. Jim moaned, writhed on Harvey and begged him
to fill him with his come.
 
“I don’t want to be able to work tomorrow.” Jim urged, breath punched out of
him as Harvey seemed to flag a little in his thrusts.
 
“You won’t be.” Harvey vowed running a palm down the length of Jim’s spine.
“You’ll be in my bed all day. Maybe all night if you continue to be so good to
me.”
 
Jim’s eyes rolled up a little at hearing that and he felt an aftershock shudder
ease through his limbs. “I’ll be good.” He promised eagerly. “I’ll do anything
you want, Harvey. Please. Fill me.”
 
The words stoked Harvey’s ego and sent him over the precipice and he finally
ejaculated. He and Jim moaned in unison, relief evident to them both. When it
was over, Harvey rolled off Jim and onto his side. Once more Jim turned onto
his side and pressed up against Harvey, pausing to kiss him passionately before
laying down.
 
“Mmm so good.” He purred of how he felt. Harvey just chuckled at feeling it to
be the truth. “Did you mean what you said? About tomorrow?”
 
“Yeah.” Harvey admitted before he could think better of it. “S’my day off. I
thought we’d spend the day.”
 
Jim raised his head and met Harvey’s gaze. “And the night?”
 
“That too. If you want.” Jim nodded. “This is gonna cost me a small fortune.”
 
Jim lay his head back down and rubbed his cheek against Harvey’s nipple. “Let
me worry about that.” Jim issued without anger nor despair. He heard Harvey
mumble a little and apologize, before his breathing dropped into the realm of
sleep. Jim knew he was going to have to get word to Ivy. He wasn’t going to be
home for a couple of days. “Shh now.” Harvey napped.
 
Harvey ended up dropping Jim off at the warehouse on his scheduled day back at
the station house. Jim brought with him the rest of the two dozen donuts that
he and Harvey didn’t finish eating at breakfast.  He made certain Ivy got one
with sprinkles and took it to their cubby hole for her. The rest of the kids
descended upon the pink box, stripping it clean in seconds.
 
“Is he nice to you?” Ivy asked pointedly as Jim handed her, her donut.
 
“He’s very nice to me.” Jim stated as he began to change his clothes into loose
fitting ones. “Why are you worried?”
 
“He’s a cop. He’ll expect things from you for free.”
 
“I trust him.”
 
“You like him, so you don’t look at him the way I can. He’s old, lonely and a
cop. They arrest people when they don’t get what they want.”
 
“Well right now,” Jim said turning around to face Ivy as he fastened up his
jeans. He changed his shirt next. “He wants me, I want him, and I’m happy.”
 
Ivy picked a couple of sprinkles off her donut and ate them. “You won’t be.
Cops make everyone around them sad. Just look what happened to my dad.”
 
Jim’s brow furrowed. “I thought you were happy that he was in jail. He can’t
hit you anymore.”
 
“Well, now I’m on the street and do you think I’m happy?” Jim shrugged. “Well I
am, but my mom isn’t and that’s all because of cops!”
 
“What happened to your father is different than what’s happening to me.” Jim
stated approaching her and sitting down on the worn mattress and blankets they
used as a bed.
 
“Because sex is involved right?” Ivy shook her head in disdain. “That just
makes everything worse. Mom said to never have it because you’ll end up with a
baby and never be happy again.”
 
“See?” Jim smirked. “Cops aren’t the only things that cause unhappiness.” Ivy
stuck her tongue out at him before taking a bite of her donut. He watched her
eat it and his smile faded. “Do you really think what I’m doing with Harvey is
wrong?”
 
Ivy shook her head. “But he’s a cop so, cops’ equal sadness. You’ll see.”
 
Jim hoped against hope that she was wrong. However, he knew on instinct that
she would be proved right. Maybe Harvey was different, yet only time would
tell.
 
It took far less time for Harvey’s discomfort to build before he went in search
of Jim. Only this time, he didn’t easily find him. Next Harvey started flashing
his badge, asking questions and giving out a little money here and there to pry
information out of those on the meat rack. It was actually a transgender
‘woman’ that pointed Harvey in the right direction. She told him that Jim had
been sick; air quotes; and was probably laid up for a while. Harvey became
angry, demanding to know who the john was but the woman simply shrugged and
went on about her business. Harvey drove to the warehouse district next and
tried to figure out which building Jim used as housing.
 
Two hours later the flash of a dirty, stripped, sweater told him he had come to
the right place. “Hey!” He called after her as teens and kids scattered like
cockroaches underneath the beam of his flashlight. “Ivy?”  Because her name was
known other kids pushed her out of her hiding place and Harvey hunched down a
little to make himself smaller. “Come here. I’m not going to hurt you.”
 
“What do you want?” She stood her ground.
 
“I’m looking for Jim. Word has it he’s hurt.”
 
Ivy’s head canted to one side. “Hurt? He’s just sick.” She hopped over a corner
of a wooden pallet and motioned to Harvey. “Come on. I’ll show you.” Harvey
heard the deep, wet, cough before they reached the hanging tarps moments later.
“See?” Ivy asked pulling one of the tarps aside a little. “He’s sick.”
 
Jim squinted as a flashlight beam struck him right in the face. He held up a
hand, curled in on himself more as he coughed and groaned in misery. “Ivy?” He
asked through a stuffed-up head. “What’re you doing?”
 
“Giving me the grand tour.” Harvey stated entering the tarp fort. He squatted
down before Jim and reached out a hand to touch his forehead. “You’re burning
up, Junior. What are you taking for this?”
 
“You’re kidding me right now.” Jim proclaimed unimpressed as he looked up at
Harvey, his nose running. “Just go away. I’m of no use to you like this, you’re
freaking everyone out, you shouldn’t be here.”
 
Harvey looked at Ivy. “Grab your stuff and his, Kid. We’re leaving.”
 
“I’m not going anywhere with a cop.” Ivy stated shaking her head. She motioned
to Jim. “You can take him though. He likes you.” Jim was about to protest but
instead broke into a coughing fit. Ivy made a face at the sound and addressed
Harvey. “I’ll get his bag.”
 
“Ivy, don’t,” Jim lay back as another coughing fit seized him and Ivy and
Harvey cast looks at one another, and she continued gathering up Jim’s
belongings and shoving them into his backpack.
 
“I told him.” Ivy said to Harvey. “He doesn’t always listen.”
 
“Tell me about it.” Harvey issued in sympathy recalling telling Jim that he
wasn’t into guys and nothing was going to happen between them, yet then it had.
Because of Jim.
 
“He does listen to me about plants though. I like that.” She finished zipping
his backpack and held it out to Harvey. “Done. You going to carry him?”
 
“If I have to.” Harvey said pulling Jim up from the mattress. He protested but
he was too weak to argue too greatly. Ivy ended up following them out of the
warehouse carrying Jim’s backpack for him, while Harvey half carried, half
dragged Jim to his car. He put him in the back seat and Ivy put the backpack on
the floor boards behind the passenger side. Harvey closed the door and looked
at her. “Sure, you don’t wanna come along too? He’s gonna be gone for a few
days. At least until he gets well.”
 
Ivy shook her head. “I like being on my own.” She held up a few bills in her
hand. “Besides, I took his street money. I’m good.” With that she waved at Jim
through the window and ran back towards the warehouse.
 
“Strange kid.” Harvey stated before going to get into the car. Jim was coughing
when he started the engine. “Hang on Junior. I got something at my place
that’ll fix you right up.” Jim coughed in response.
 
The cold medicine with a shot of whiskey quieted Jim’s cough long enough for
him to pass out. Harvey left him in the bedroom and went by a pharmacy to grab
more supplies; medicine, soup, Kleenex, and sports drinks. He arrived home and
put away his purchases, Jim none the wiser that he had been left unattended at
all. Harvey slept in bed that night to make certain that Jim was breathing
properly and brought him some water once when he woke up long enough to use the
bathroom. Harvey had helped Jim put on a pair of his boxers and an undershirt
so that he would be in clean clothing while he tried not to die from a chest
cold. If he wasn’t better in a few days, Harvey was going to take the poor
thing to a clinic for examination.
 
For now, Jim slept through the night under Harvey’s watchful eye. In the
morning just after sunrise Jim awoke to another coughing fit. Harvey got up and
warmed up some soup, made Jim eat it and drink some water and sports drink
before he medicated him; sans the whiskey; and put him back to bed. Jim passed
out for several more hours, and when he awoke it was to a note from Harvey
telling him to repeat the earlier process and rest. Jim ended up sleeping most
of the day away between coughing jags and spitting clumps of mucus into a
plastic cup. It was easier than running to the bathroom every time he coughed
something up. For now, the cup was his closest companion although he was very
happy to see Harvey come home for the evening from work. That was until Harvey
discovered the phlegm cup and insisted on taking Jim to a clinic the following
day.
 
“I’m fifteen-years-old Harvey, I don’t nee,”
 
“That’s right!” Interjected Harvey sharply. “You’re old enough to know that you
need a doctor.”
 
“But I don’t. I’m getting better with what we’re already doing.”
 
Harvey picked up the plastic cup with the logo of a BBQ place up the street and
showed it to Jim. “This, is not ‘better’ Jim. This, is bad, and you need to see
someone for some real drugs. Maybe they can give you something for the cough,
so you can get a full night’s sleep for a change.”
 
“You sound worse then someone’s mom!” Jim exclaimed flailing his arms out from
his sides. He lowered them and began a full coughing fit. He rushed past Harvey
into the kitchen to spit out the globs of phlegm that came up into the sink.”
 
“You coulda used this.” Harvey informed bringing the cup to the sink. He
emptied it, washed it out and started the garbage disposal, running it for
several seconds. He handed the water damp cup back to Jim and placed his hands
upon his hips looking at him. “You should be so lucky that I sound like a mom.
Mine was the best in the world and if she were here, she’d tell you the same.
You need a doctor and we’re going. End of story.”
 
“Why?” Asked Jim with tears in his eyes from coughing so hard. “To get me
better faster so you can fuck me?”
 
Harvey’s entire body tensed, and he leaned forward into Jim’s personal space.
“You’re not feeling well, so I’m just going to pretend you didn’t mean to say
that.” Harvey turned away from Jim and stalked over to the fridge and took out
a beer. He slammed the fridge door closed and walked back into the living room
to sit down upon the couch. “You’re going to the clinic if I have to drag you
there by your thick-headed noggin.”
 
Jim closed his eyes and swayed a little, grabbing onto the counter for support.
Now that he was out of Harvey’s view he paled and shook a little from all the
exertion of the argument. He felt horrible, and not just physically. Jim took a
deep breath, wheezing from all the congestion in his chest; and squared his
shoulders before walking into the living room. He moved to the couch and sat
down next to Harvey, pressing up against him, staring at his profile. To his
great relief, Harvey placed his arm around him and pulled him still closer.
 
“About what I said, I’m sorry. I know you’re just trying to help me. Because
you want to, not because I haven’t had sex with you because I’m sick.” Jim
swallowed and barely whispered, “Right?”
 
Harvey looked at Jim, expression soft and eyes gentle. He shook his head and
pulled Jim against him as way of the only response he was going to grant the
teen. Just what were Harvey’s motives? He knew in his heart that he didn’t
enjoy seeing others suffering, and certainly if that person were Jim. Yet he
sought Jim out because he wanted sex, more than any sort of strange attachment
to him. He hadn’t missed the teen, just what they got up to under the
bedclothes. Never mind that they had spent almost forty-eight hours together,
shared meals, intimacy and a bed; no, Harvey was just in it for the sex.
Because he was a depraved Ephebophile who couldn’t keep his hands to himself
where this fifteen-year-old was concerned. And depraved Harvey was; the things
they had done; that he let Jim do and did to him in return; were shameful.
Should be, but the heat that burned at Harvey’s cheeks and up the back of his
neck when he thought of them was not from shame, but something darker.
 
Harvey wished he hadn’t brought up his mother; Grace; because now he was
thinking about her too. What she would say about Jim; how devastated she would
be at what Harvey had done; continued to do; to him. She would hate Harvey, and
rightfully so. It would break her heart. Harvey shook his head to clear it of
the thoughts and downed a quarter of his beer. He placed the can on his knee,
holding it in his hand, his other arm around Jim’s shoulders. He could hear the
rattle and wheeze within his chest and it worried him. At least he and Grace
would agree about that; Jim needed to see a doctor and Harvey was going to pay
for him to go visit one. It was the last he could do.
 
Harvey took the clip board and pen out of Jim’s hands and began to fill in the
forms they had been given by the front office staff. They had gone into a walk-
in clinic and the place was already jumping having just opened. Jim glanced
over at Harvey’s writing and noticed that under the first and last name,
segment of the form he had written, Jim Bullock.
 
“Is that your name?” Jim whispered.
 
Harvey’s expression told him to keep his mouth shut but the verbal answer was,
“For today it’s yours too.” Harvey paused for a minute and frowned. “Junior.” 
Jim chuckled at this and launched into another coughing fit. He covered his
mouth with the sleeve of his hoodie, but a few people looked at him and moved
further away in their chairs, as if an extra inch would save them. “Easy does
it.” Harvey stated rubbing Jim’s back for a moment. The pressure of his hand
felt so good that Jim closed his eyes.
 
They waited an hour before they heard, “Jim Bullock” called from the doorway.
Both Harvey and Jim got up at the same time and after Jim’s vitals were taken
they waited another fifteen minutes before a doctor came into the room. She was
leggy, brunette haired and not at all convinced that Jim was Harvey’s son, but
saw that he was clearly concerned about Jim’s wellbeing. Near the end of the
visit she gave Harvey the prescriptions and told him he could go get in line at
the inhouse pharmacy. Harvey knew that she wanted to be alone with Jim and the
two males exchanged looks before Harvey left without protest.
 
The door had barely clicked shut when the doctor; one Leslie Tompkins; asked,
“Jim, are you being held against your will? Or abused by that man?”
 
Incredulously Jim gaped at her. “Harvey? No. He’s my friend. He brought me here
because my mother’s religion doesn’t believe in western medicines and I’m not
getting any better on her remedies. He’s trying to help me, not hurt me.”
 
“All right. Good.” Leslie placed a hand upon Jim’s knee. “Because if he were
hurting you in any way, this is a safe place and you could tell me.”
 
Jim shook his head. “I appreciate that Dr. Tompkins but, he’s trying to save
me, and I want him too.”
 
Harvey waited in the lobby area for Jim to come out and once he did, relief
washed over Harvey and he moved to him immediately. “You okay, Junior?”
 
Jim nodded and leaned on him for support. “Can we just go home now? I’m really
ti-tired.” Harvey agreed and told Jim that he would pick up his medicine after
tucking Jim into bed. He was good to his word, and while Jim slept Harvey made
a run to the pharmacy for the second time since they had known one another.
Upon returning he got the first dose of antibiotics down Jim and cough syrup
before allowing him to go back to sleep. “Harvey? Can you please go tell Ivy
that I’m alright? She’s going to start worrying again.”
 
“Sure, thing Jim.” Harvey stated, stroking Jim’s hair and feeling his face for
a fever. He was warm, and Harvey frowned. “I’ll have to leave you again
though.”
 
“You have to go to work anyway.” Jim managed to get out before he coughed
wetly. “I’ll be here when you get home. I promise.” He looked so pale and weak
that Harvey found himself worrying that he should perhaps stay home. In the end
he went to work, left slightly early and went in search of Ivy. Found her on a
tip from one of the other teens in the warehouse. She was on some roof top
feeding pigeons. She didn’t appreciate his presence there one bit and didn’t
hide her feelings on the matter either.
 
“You better not be here to tell me Jim’s dead.”
 
“I’m not. I took him to the doctor today and he’s resting at my place. Do you
want to see him?”
 
Distrust shown clearly in Ivy’s expression. “Do you want me to punch you in the
dick?” She asked standing well out of the radius of his reach.
 
“That’s rude.”
 
“Well you’re an old man chasing after a boy. I have a right to be rude.”
 
She had a point and Harvey’s face flamed up with it. “I’m not hurting him.”
 
“So, you’re just like all the others he goes with for money. Only worse because
he cares about you and you don’t care about him.”
 
“That’s not true!” Harvey defended pointing at her in warning.
 
“How stupid do you think I am, Pig?” Ivy asked moving further away from him,
edging in the direction of the rooftop exit back into the building. “You think
I don’t know what a whore does? Or a man with another man? Jim thinks I don’t
know either, but when he talks; I listen. And all he wants to talk about right
now is you.”
 
“And I want to talk about him.”
 
“To who?”
 
“To Jim. Why would I talk to anyone else about him?”
 
Ivy canted her head and regarded Harvey for a few seconds. “That makes sense.”
She relaxed a little, her tone not as confrontational. “So, will you?”
 
“Will I what?”
 
“Talk to him, about him?”
 
Just what would Harvey say? To Ivy now and to Jim later? There was nothing to
say beyond, ‘I’m a sick bastard fuck Jim. You should run away from me as fast
as you can go. I’m no good; rotten to the core’. “When he gets better.”
 
“No, you won’t.” Ivy challenged crossing her arms. “You’re a liar Pig. Just
like all the other lying liars. You think Jim and I are stupid, but we’re not.
He’s waiting for you to say something. If you do, that might help him get
better.”
 
“Well, he’s sick right now and I’m trying to help him heal.” Harvey admitted
trying to remain calm. He could see what drew Jim to the girl, she was just as
thickskulled as he was. “He asked me to come here and see you; tell you that
he’s still getting well. Do you want to see him or not?”
 
“Where do you live?”
 
“I’m not gonna,”
 
“And I’m not gonna go with you. I want to see Jim but not yet. Where, do, you,
live?”
 
Harvey sighed and gave her his address. If worse came to worse he would find a
dumpy apartment in the Narrows rather than worry about an influx of kids
robbing his place. Not that there was much to steal regardless.  “Have you
eaten today, kid?”
 
“I eat every day, Pig.” She patted the side of her left boot. “I have Jim’s
street money, remember?”
 
“Okay then. I’ll leave you to your birds.” Harvey turned to leave, and Ivy
called after him.
 
“Tell him I’ll see him soon.” Ivy insisted sweetly. “Don’t forget to tell him,
Pig.”
 
“I won’t. First thing I’ll do is deliver your message.” Harvey stated
sarcastically. He moved to the roof exit and left Ivy to her pigeons. When he
got home, Jim was in the kitchen trying to make himself some soup. He was
perspiring heavily and looked like death warmed over. “Hey, go sit on the
couch. Let me do that.”  Jim thanked Harvey and greeted him with a smile and
welcomed him home from work. “I saw your little girlfriend. She told me to tell
you that she’d see you soon. I couldn’t get her to the car to save my life.”
 
“Ivy doesn’t trust cops.”
 
“No kidding.” Harvey poured the soup from the can into a sauce pan and turned
the stove burner on.  “You get any sleep today.”
 
“A little.” After a few minutes Harvey entered the living room carrying Jim’s
soup in a bowl and a glass of water. He set the water on the coffee table and
handed the bowl carefully to Jim. “Thank you, Harvey. You’re taking really good
care of me. I appreciate it, honestly I do.”
 
“Just get well.” Harvey stated sitting down upon the couch. Jim stretched his
legs across Harvey’s lap and began to eat his soup. “Tell me about your day.”
 
“There’s nothing to tell. My new partner is a complete waste of oxygen, I’m
going to be behind on rent, oh, and my Captain keeps making me redo the same
report over and over because he doesn’t like that I won’t change my position on
the arrest. He keeps kicking it back, and I keep resubmitting it.” Harvey shook
his head. “I wish Dix was still there. The place isn’t the same without him.”
 
“Who’s Dix?” Jim asked in between slurps of soup. Harvey began the
heartbreaking story of who his ex-partner was and how he put him in a
wheelchair due to one case and his own carelessness. “Is that why you drink so
much?” Jim asked without judgement, merely curiosity.
 
“Yeah. That and the job. It really does a number on your humanity.” Harvey
rubbed a hand up Jim’s shin. He felt the weight of Jim’s gaze upon his profile.
 
“Is that the same reason why you employ prostitutes?”
Harvey frowned. “That’s not the job. Well, mostly. I don’t have allot of time
for going out and meeting nice women. Then by the time I get home from a shift,
I just want a little company and then drift into the oblivion of sweet, sweet,
sleep. That way I can get up in the morning and start anew.” Harvey shook his
head and managed to look at Jim. “I already have an ex-wife, and was on my way
to another marriage when Dix,” Harvey shook his head. “It’s not just the job
the women don’t understand and have to live with, it’s me.” Harvey began
rubbing Jim’s leg once more. “Know what I mean?”
 
Jim nodded. “I want to get married some day; maybe have children. But I want
one of us to be at home with the kids. At last until they’re old enough to be
left unsupervised for the afternoon.” He shrugged. “I don’t think I’ll ever
have that though because, of what I do now; and who I am. I’m just not someone
that talks about their feelings. And who would want to marry an ex-whore?”
 
“Ex-whores are better than ex-cops any day.” Harvey teased hoping to make Jim
smile. He wasn’t disappointed. “Because everyone knows that cops are lying
liars.”
 
Jim burst out laughing almost spraying soup. He caught himself before he began
to choke. “That sounds just like something Ivy would say.”
 
“She did. You gotta tell her to stop calling me a pig. It’s really pissing me
off.”
 
“I’ll talk to her.” Jim promised sipping more soup. “If you agree to sleep in
bed again tonight and not the couch. Dr. Tompkins says I’m not contagious at
this stage.” Harvey nodded. “Thanks.”
 
Within four days Jim was feeling almost human. Within ten he was concerned that
Harvey would throw him back out onto the streets. Thus far the older man hadn’t
said a word about Jim leaving. Jim hoped that would remain the case. He went
out during the day and hung with Ivy and some of the other street kids as he
built up his strength once more. It was when Ivy told him that her stash of
money was running low that Jim realized his dream of normalcy at Harvey’s was
coming to a rapid close. He went back to the apartment and changed into his
rent boy gear and headed out with Ivy in tow.
 
Harvey was driving back to the 77th precinct from the coroner’s office when he
spotted the sedan pull up to the curb and a very familiar figure lean in the
window. Harvey nearly slammed on the breaks when he saw Jim climb into the
sedan and it pulled away. Had he just seen what he thought he saw? A glance at
the corner and Ivy standing in the gutter to get a good view of the departing
license plate told him it was so. Utter, unmitigated rage boiled over within
Harvey’s veins and he stepped on the gas, flipping on the dash bubble light,
switching on the siren, and hauling after the sedan. He rammed the back end of
his car into the sedan and watched the driver regain control of the car and
pull over. Harvey got out and stormed around to the driver’s side door, gun
drawn.
 
“Get your fucking hands up where I can see them! Right now! Hands!” The
confused and frightened man placed both of his hands upon the steering wheel
and looked at Harvey.
 
“Officer, I don’t understand. What was doing wrong? I wasn’t speeding,”
 
“Shut the fuck up!” Harvey roared lowering his gun to his side. “You don’t get
to talk.”
 
“Yes but,” Harvey reached in through the window and shoved the man’s head
against the steering wheel cracking it hard on impact.
 
“I said shut the fuck up!”
 
“Harvey?” Jim inquired from the passenger side, shock swarming through him.
Harvey walked around the front of the car to the passenger side and yanked the
door open. “What are you doing?” Harvey seized Jim by the arm and pulled him
out of the car.
 
“Get over here!” Harvey scolded dragging Jim up the sidewalk by the arm towards
his own car. He left the driver of the other car bleeding and its passenger
side door open. Harvey took Jim to his own car and shoved him in the drivers’
side and across the bench seat. “In, now!”
 
“Harvey, what’re you,”
 
“Not now, Jim!” Harvey roared, pointing at Jim in warning. He peeled away from
the curb and drove away sirens and lights blazing.
 
“Where are we going? Can I at least ask that?” Jim asked as he braced himself
in the seat. Harvey shut off the sirens and then the dash bubble looking from
the road to Jim and back again repeatedly as he spoke.
 
“Where are we going? I think the better question is what in the hell were you
doing back there, huh? Getting in that guys’ car?”
 
“I was working. Ivy needs,”
 
“Fuck Ivy! That kid can take care of herself and doesn’t need you being her
white knight.”
 
Jim’s features rankled in distaste. “Harvey, she’s my friend. We take care of
each other and I’m not going to stop just because I’m living with you now.”
 
Harvey pointed again at Jim. “Let’s get one thing straight, you are not living
with me! Got that! You are a guest in my home and you will follow my rules!”
 
“What rules?” Jim shouted holding out his hands in gesture. He felt like he had
been struck in the face by Harvey’s insistence that he didn’t live with him;
all Jim wanted was that security and it looked as if he had horribly misjudged
Harvey.
 
Too incensed to drive any further Harvey found a place to immediately pull over
and stop. Jim braced himself with his outstretched arms to keep his forehead
from smashing into the dash board at the abruptness of Harvey’s stop. Harvey
turned a little in the seat to face Jim. “You’re not supposed to fuck anyone
else now that you’re fucking me!”
 
A calm encompassed Jim and he stared at Harvey, the man’s words ringing in the
stifled cab of the car. “I’m a whore Harvey. The only way I’m not one is if you
claim me as your own. Which means, I can live with you as a boyfriend, not just
a guest. It means that I can get a legitimate job and use that money to provide
Ivy with food if I want to. And it means, that you can’t sleep with anyone else
because we’re exclusively with one another. Can you promise me that Harvey?
Because if you can, then I’m completely yours.”
 
Harvey groaned in frustration and held his hands like he was about to strangle
an imaginary person. “I don’t ever, ever want to see you with anyone else Jim.
I mean it!” Harvey yelled eyes burning in fury, face red and blotchy with his
anger. “But what you’re asking for,”
 
“You can provide.” Jim assured calmly; so much so that Harvey was having
difficulties with not calming down himself.
 
“I wasn’t looking for a relationship!”
 
“But you found one. So, what?” Jim asked expression soft, gaze affectionate.
“Don’t you want me?”
 
Everything in Harvey was screaming various scenarios and responses at him. He
was torn between the one pervading yes and the other pervading no. “I can’t,”
He faltered and pressed a hand to his forehead. “I don’t know, I told you. I’m
crap at relationships.”
 
Jim shook his head. “Not with me.” He admitted sliding a little closer to
Harvey across the bench seat. “You know that.”
 
He did. God help him, but he did. Harvey reached out with his hands and took
Jim by the face and crashed their lips together. He was attempting to devour
Jim just as Jim was attempting to devour him in return. On and on they kissed
in full view of anyone passing on the street. No one looked; no one cared, or
even suspected that Jim was only fifteen and that Harvey was a cop. Harvey
wasn’t about to stop kissing Jim long enough to tell them. After a few minutes
the kisses severed, and Harvey pressed his forehead against Jim’s, both of them
panting in synch.
 
“Did he touch you?”
 
“No.” Jim assured taking Harvey’s wrists in his hands. “And I never wanted him
too.”
 
Harvey kissed Jim again. He knew that he ought to feel ashamed, but he couldn’t
quite muster the sensation. Not when he was kissing Jim; and certainly not with
Jim making little noises greedy for his attention. Harvey wondered distantly if
Ivy had added his license plate to her collection, after all it would be the
last one she would have to log.
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