Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/6071512.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M, Other
  Fandom:
      ジョジョの奇妙な冒険_|_JoJo_no_Kimyou_na_Bouken_|_JoJo's_Bizarre_Adventure,
      communism_-_Fandom, Osmosis_Jones_(2001), Aaron_Carter_-_Fandom
  Relationship:
      Reader/Aaron_Carter
  Character:
      Aaron_Carter, Osmosis_"Ozzy"_Jones, Tobey_Maguire, Tony_the_Tiger, Wario,
      Dark!Wario, Kujo_Jotaro
  Additional Tags:
      Yu-Gi-Oh_-_Freeform, Gore, Vore, Cock_Vore, KINKSHAME
  Series:
      Part 3 of A_Series_of_Essays_on_the_Relativity_of_Morality
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-02-21 Words: 1304
****** Osmosis Jones Kinkshames You ******
by cowboychris
Summary
     You're trying to get some action with Aaron Carter, but Osmosis Jones
     kinkshames you. Wacky adventures ensue on this family-friendly ride!
     Read this fic to your kids!
Notes
     i'm not a serial killer i swear. it's a masterpiece. please love my
     writing.
See the end of the work for more notes
Aaron Carter's dungeon is cold and dark. You can barely see, and Aaron is a
master of the night. Your fight has not been going well. You cough up blood and
spit it on the concrete floor. Aaron Carter looms over you smugly, katana in
his hand wet with your blood. "Had enough yet? Is that a cry for mercy I hear?"
the 12 year old whispers. You grin smugly despite your injuries. "I was just
thinking about my friends...and how grateful I am for all of them...How each
one of them helped me come this far....how each one is helping me defeat
you!!!!" You scream with a tremendous force that you didn't know you possesed,
and you are overwhelmed with emotion for all of your friendly friends.
Images flash through your head. Tony the tiger, who gave his life in Vietnam so
that you could make it here. Jotaro Kujo, who was never your friend and hated
you every day and also didnt exist because anime isn't real. Toby Maguire, who
abandoned you to go get pizza. Wario, who sucked your dick behind the parking
lot of TGI Fridays. Dark Wario, who punched you in the dick. Obi-Wan Kenobi,
who taught you how to ride a bicycle. And Many More
You are filled with righteous fury. You reach into your jorts and pull out
brass knuckles that spell out F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P. You turn your baseball cap
backwards and bring out your yu-gi-oh deck and scream "Time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-
d-d-d-d-d-d--d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-UEL!!"
Aaron Carter reels back, his face going white. He obivously did not except you
to be a yu-gi-oh master. He takes out his deck with shaking hands.
You tsk, shaking your head. "You fool, you absolute imbecile, you have fallen
for my trick. I have planned this since the beginning. You absolte baffooon.
You have fallen for my little trick. You have been BAMBOOZLED. You cannot win
at yu-gi-oh, for I have a little secret..."
You pick a card from your deck and slam it on the table. It's... it's...
BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGOn.
Aaron Carter screams and backs away, trying to run. It is futile. Blue eyes
white dragon fucking ANNIHILATES him. He's torn into at least 42069666
different pieces. You're laughing. He screams for pity and mercy, you just
chuckle. He locks eyes with you, begging you, saying he will do anything... but
his words mean nothing at this point. All you want is to see his throat torn
out and watch his blood cover the ground to appease the gods. Carter has evaded
death for too long -- his time must come.
Aaron Carter takes a deep breath, knowing he must play his final card. He looks
up, and stares at you directly in the eyes. It is an unblinking stare, the kind
of empty gaze you only see on a man who has truly given up, a man who has
nothing left to fight for. You know there is nothing inside him anymore.
"Daddy. Daddy I need cummies."
You stop in your tracks for a moment. You were never expecting Aaron to utter
those words again. The gun trembles in your hand, as you are unable to pull the
trigger. You were holding Aaron at gunpoint the whole time, for the record.
Nightcore vaporwave starts playing mysteriously and Tobey Maguire jumps on a
piano and starts dancing and pelvic thrusting in a way that makes everyone
uncomfortable. His bulge is disgusting.
"WWhat the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have
you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved
in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I
am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed
forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck
out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth,
mark my fucking - "
Aaron Carter interrups your incredibly badass speech to let out a final moan in
death. You realize he is orgasming, and notice the digusting bulge in his pants
as some gunk splurts out of a wee lil tentacle thing. I can't even describe
dicks so you're on your own here but it was pretty nasty.
You pull out your mega sword like Cloud and chop aarons head off and toss ur
hair looking incredibly badass as you walk away and Aaron's dungeon explodes
into a fireball of jorts and farts. Tobey pulls up in his pizza delivery bike
and says, "Pizza time?" in a seductive voice. You all laugh and the gang gets
into the minivan to stop for pizza.
All of the sudden, you snap back to reality. It was all a dream. Aaron Carter
is still staring at you expectantly. Your blue eyes white dragon card is still
attacking him.
You recognize when you are defeated.
"Baby girl."
Aaron carter has a collar on. He's Daddy's little kitten. "Daddy Cowboy
Chris..." Carter drawls, stroking a hand up your thigh.
Your breathing comes faster. "C-C-Carter-sama..."
Carter winks. "Cowboy CHris-sama, could it be you're craving my McNuggies?"
Yes. Yes you are.
You tug Carter's baby diaper down and get an eyeload of what's in front of you.
Where his genitals should be are McNuggies. You're hungry.
You crane your head down and take a huge bite of the Mcnuggies. They're juicy
and tender and you can feel juice dripping down your chin. You're slurping
those Mcnuggies, just guzzling them down. You're gargling those Mcnuggies,
reALLY fucking enjoying them. They're so good, you've never eaten anything even
remotely as tasty as this.
But, it hits you too late. You took a shit on of acid beofre. You're tripping.
You just ate Aaron's balls. You come back to it and thtere is blood everywhere.
There's balls IN YOUR MOUTH. they're bloody. That's what the juice is. It's
blood. You're slurping blood.
You still swallow them anyway because you don't give A Fuck TM. You reach down
and take another bite as Aaron screams in agony. You're eating him raw. Soon
enough his struggling body stops. He's dead. You continue eating. You're
feasting on dead flesh.
You fuck the gaping hole you left in his body. There's blood everywhere and the
hole makes slurping sounds when you fuck it and theres gore everywhere. Little
bits of bone are stuck in your teeth.
You hear the distant sounds of sirens. Fuck, it's the cops. The cops pull over
and come out, their guns raised. It's Osmosis Jones.
"Step away from the body." Jones says, disgust in his voice. You can tell he's
never seen something this disturbing before, even during his 10 years on the
police force. All he does is give people parking tickets. He's a fucking pussy.
"Well, officer." You say smoothly. "What seems to be the problem?"
"You're eating a dead body raw."
"Yare yare, Jones..." You croo, shaking your head. "Are you kinkshaming me?"
Jones stares at you, disbelief in his eyes. "Of course I am? You're eating a
dead body!"
JOne's fellow officers lower their guns and stare at Jones. "You're kinkshaming
this dude? We should be arresting YOU."
They grab Jones and put cuffs on him. He's going to fucking jail.
"When you mess with the kink........ you get the horn........ y." You whisper.
Blood is still dripping from your mouth. You can feel the balls swirling in
your stomach acid. Jones is screaming. He's next.
He's..... next.
End Notes
     how did you get this far. nice, dude. you got stuff goin' for ya. i
     hope you have a nice day. i'm proud of you, kiddo.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!