Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/4969897.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi_Ackerman/Eren_Jaeger
  Character:
      Dr._Grisha_Jaeger, Eren_Jaeger, Levi_ackerman, Armin_Arlert, Nurse_Krista
      Lenz, Reiner_Braun, Mikasa_Ackerman, Mentions_of_Carla_Jaeger, Mentions
      of_Bert_Hoover, Kuchel_Ackerman
  Additional Tags:
      Major_character_death_-_Freeform, Anal_Sex, Oral_Sex, Cancer_Arc,
      Impending_Death, ANGST_by_the_truck_load, Not_A_Happy_Ending, Feels, If
      any_of_this_triggers_you_DON'T_read_this_fic!
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-10-10 Words: 8789
****** Oncology Ward ******
by Kristina_Moon
Summary
     Levi Ackerman is dyslexic. His mother Kuchel is a cancer patient
     awaiting surgery in the Oncology Ward of the local hospital. Her room
     number is 331. Levi happens to enter room 313 to find another cancer
     patient. This one is a young man close to his own age with a
     inoperable brain tumor. The kid's name is Eren Jaeger and it's
     through accident that they meet.
     * Author's Note:
     On Oct. 7, 2015, I started writing this fic. It was my mother's
     birthday and I was missing her dearly. She had stage 4 malignant
     melanoma, had endured two brain as well as multiple other surgeries,
     and I went through the long wait.
     Waiting for someone you love to die is horrid. (This torture went on
     for over five years!)
     So if you're expecting a miracle or a happy ending, this is NOT the
     fic for you.
     If death, cancer, dying, etc. triggers you, this is NOT the fic for
     you.
     This is just a tribute to a woman that I love and miss every day.
     Watching someone you love die painfully...slowly...over time takes
     its toll.
     I hope you never have to endure it for yourself.
Notes
     My Tumblr is seaturtlebay.tumblr.com
     Tracking tag "Fic: OncologyWard"
It is a cold day in October when Levi first meets Eren Jaeger. He walks right
in threw his door. “May I help you?” Eren asks, just trying to be polite.
“I'm sorry,” Levi says, “I'm looking for my mother Kuchel Ackerman. I was told
she is in room 331.”
“That's at the other end of the hall,” Eren chimes. “This is room 313.”
“Damn it,” Levi says with a bitter look. When he sees the way the kid's looking
at him from his bed, he says, “Sorry. I...I have dyslexia. I'm always
transposing numbers, letters...that sort of shit. “I'll just go,” he adds while
motioning with his thumb.
“Sorry to disappoint you,” the brunet states.
Levi takes a deep breath. It's not a disappointment. Not really. The kid's
about his own age but looks so innocent swallowed up by the hospital bed. Levi
smiles back at him saying, “Maybe I'll see you around again.”
“I doubt it,” the brunet chimes. “I'll be dead soon.”
“What?”
“Well, this is the Oncology Ward after all. Most of us don't make it out of
here alive.”
“But you're so young?”
“That's what I thought once but cancer doesn't care about age,” Eren adds
morosely. “Thanks for stopping by,” he adds while lowering the head of his bed
and curling up in a ball.
Levi is torn between leaving and trying to give the kid false hope. “What's
your name, kid?”
“Eren. Eren Jaeger,” he mumbles from his spot on the bed.
“Do you mind if I visit you tomorrow, Eren?”
The kid glances back over his shoulder saying, “Are you certain you want to
visit me again? Getting attached to someone who's dying is kind of stupid. It
can't end well no matter how hard you wish otherwise.”
“Listen, I'm no expert but don't you have to keep holding on to hope,” Levi
asks.
“Hope,” Eren scoffs. “My own father doesn't visit me and he's a doctor. No.
Hope is dead, just like God and I'm going to be in a few weeks. Go. Visit your
mother. I'm sure she's probably on the shitty side of death herself.”
Levi knows it's true. But to have it put so bluntly...
A moment later, Levi leaves.
*
The following day Levi does head for room 313. He enters through the door
saying, “Good morning, Er...”
“Levi! Twice in 24 hours?” his mother asks. “This is a surprise!”
He looks back at the door again. Yep, room 331. Ugh! So he spends the morning
listening to his mother's ranting about how his father never visits her, how
the doctors haven't given up hope, and how her last test were bad but not that
bad.
Levi sighs.
It's only when the noon time trays are being delivered that Levi makes his
escape. He heads to room 313 only to find it empty. His heart seizes at the
prospect of the boy he just met dying during the night. He is just turning to
leave when he hears, “Excuse me. If you're looking for Eren, he was taken for
some testing. He should be back in about thirty minutes.”
“Thank you. Do you mind if I wait in here?”
“Not at all,” the nurse states. “It's nice that you've come to visit him. He
has so few visitors since his mother passed away.”
Having his own mother on 'death row' causes this sentence to grip hold of
Levi's heart harder than he expected it to. He nods at the nurse and takes a
seat on the far side of the room next to the windows. He gazes out looking at
the only strip of green he sees. There's not even a tree to break up the
bleakness of boring grey stone and concrete. No wonder Eren's so depressed.
He is just starting to doze off when he hears the sound of a bed being wheeled
toward his location. The door burst open as an orderly wheels Eren's bed back
into place. The man hooks him back up to the monitors again saying, “Well,
Eren, at least you have a visitor.”
Eren lifts his head up just high enough to see Levi gazing back at him. “Hey,”
he says and it actually sounds sort of cheerful.
“Hey, yourself,” Levi chimes.
“Have you been waiting long?”
“Forever and a day,” Levi adds sarcastically.
“Oh, well, sorry about that, I guess,” Eren says with a shrug.
“You should be,” Levi smirks. “I have things to do...”
“So do them. I'm not stopping you,” Eren states growing tired of their banter.
Levi looks over at him again and watches as Eren lays back down. “Are you
alright?”
“No. I have a tumor in my brain that's killing me. It's inoperable which means
that no doctor is willing to put his ass on the line to touch it so I'm a dead
man.”
“How old are you?”
“Seventeen. I'd be eighteen in March if I lived that long but the odds are not
in my favor.”
“Are you allowed out of this hospital?”
“What? Why?”
“Well, I can't imagine a more boring death then staring out this bleak window
at the grey sky, grey brick wall...”
“And your grey eyes,” Eren quips.
Levi blinks. Yes, his eyes are grey but his mother always said they were one of
his best features. “And my grey eyes,” Levi says softly. “I'm sorry we all
can't have amazing sea green eyes like you, Mr. Jaeger.”
Eren grabs the controls and raises the head of his bed. He looks over at Levi
saying, “You think my eyes are amazing?”
“Who doesn't?”
Eren smiles...actually smiles at that.
“You really should smile more often, kid. It's gorgeous.”
Now Eren is smiling from ear to ear.
“You're killing, Jaeger. You're absolutely killing me,” Levi states when he
looks into that face.
“My balance is crap,” Eren adds out of no where. “If I were to leave, that is,
I should take a cane with me. Something to hold on to to steady myself.”
“So you are allowed to leave then?”
“Not really but honestly I'm dying. Would you want to live out your last few
days cooped up inside? I'd give anything to just see the ocean again.”
“It's too fucking cold outside to be sitting near the ocean,” Levi states.
“Oh, so you think I should wait for summer then? I already told you I'll be
dead long before spring even arrives.”
“Fine. Don't die before Saturday,” Levi adds.
“Honestly, I could have a seizure and die later today,” Eren adds with a shrug.
That's when he sees Levi pull out his cell phone.
“Yes, Mr. Smith. It's Levi. I need to take the next week off. I need to help my
mother...yes, I know, sir, but this is important. Alright and thank you, sir,”
he says as he hangs up. He looks at Eren saying, “Don't die before I see you
again tomorrow. I'll take you to see the fucking ocean!”
Eren's eyes light up. “Seriously?”
“I said I would, didn't I?”
“Yes, but honestly I didn't even know your first name until you said it on the
phone. For all I know you could be a serial killer.”
“Yes, you're right. That's exactly what I am. A serial killer that visits
Oncology Wards to off already dying young men with amazing eyes. Do you have a
cane? Or clothes?”
“I have some clothes in the closet over there. I can't vouch for how clean they
are since I was brought in here on a gurney. I collapsed while just hanging out
with my friends at the Sina Mall. There is a cane in there, I think. I'm not
sure since I rarely get out of bed anymore. Just to piss or shit. Not much
else.”
Levi goes to the closet and finds a set of clothes that should be burned and a
cane that looks older than the building. He checks the size of the clothes then
the type of cane and says, “I'll bring you something.”
“You don't have to do that.”
“No, I don't but I will. Stay alive, Eren Jaeger. And you'll see the ocean
tomorrow.”
*
Eren falls asleep with a smile on his lips for the first time in ages. Even if
Levi doesn't keep his promise, it is a nice lie. That night Eren dreams of the
ocean. He dreams of seeing it for the first time in a long time. He never
thought he'd miss something that is always there but when you don't have the
freedom to see it on your own, it is hard not to miss it.
Levi appears right on schedule turning left at the nurses' station instead of
right. He pops inside the room to find Eren just finishing up his lunch. “How
can you eat that filth?”
“Hmm, oh, it's surprisingly good actually,” Eren chimes.
“That's only 'cause you don't know any better. What's the use in complaining
when you don't have another option,” Levi states. “Here,” he says while handing
Eren a bag. “These should fit you.”
The clothes are much nicer than what Eren has with him. A pair of skinny jeans,
a warm sweater, and a nice hoodie with leather trim. “Um, how will we get
passed the guards?” Eren asks.
“Guards?”
“Nurses' station,” Eren corrects.
“That's what the hoodie is for. Go on. Get dressed.”
Being a doctor's son has its advantages. Like knowing how to bypass the heart
monitor by putting it on a continuous loop. And disconnecting his IV without
spilling a drop or getting blood allover the sheets. Eren writes a quick note
and leaves it for someone named: Nurse Krista.
“Can you bring me my shoes? If I bend, I tend to get dizzy and fall,” Eren
states.
“No problem,” Levi adds while walking toward the closet. He finds what he's
looking for inside a clear bag. He never thought to buy the kid new socks but
he has the funky grip ones that he's wearing so that should be good enough.
Eren grabs his shoes from Levi and quickly laces each up. “It feel good not
having my ass hanging out for all the world to see.”
“Oh, I bet you have a cute ass,” Levi states. “I'm certain it beats seeing all
the old farts and fat asses on the various floors.”
“It looked better before it got so boney looking,” Eren adds. He pulls the
hoodie on over his sweater as an orderly enters to pick up his lunch tray.
“Hey, Eren. Are you being discharged?” Reiner asks.
“Prison break,” Eren states. “Don't tell Krista 'til after I'm gone, okay?”
“Sure. It's about time you got out of here for a few hours. You are coming
back, right?”
“Unfortunately,” Eren adds softly. “Thanks, tank man.”
“Not a problem,” the orderly states as he leaves with the kid's tray.
Levi hands Eren his cane and waits to see how steady he is at standing. “Good?”
“Yeah, let's go,” Eren says as he walks behind Levi who leads the way. As they
approach the nurses' station, they're in luck since no one is paying any
attention to them. Once they make it down to the main lobby, Levi has Eren sit
down to wait while he pulls his car around. It's a nice car, moderately priced
but very clean inside and out.
“Not bad,” Eren says appreciative of his friend's ride.
“I thought about bringing my old Charger but the seats aren't as comfortable,”
Levi states.
“What year?”
“1967.”
“Sweet and I bet you keep it cherry too,” Eren quips.
“It was my father's car and my grandfather's before that. Gramps bought it new.
We've kept it pretty well over the years so I didn't think beach sand would be
a good fit.”
“No. But maybe later, you'll show it to me?”
“Sure.”
*
They drive for some time before reaching their destination. The sky is grey and
overcast, the waters restless, and the wind cold but Eren can't wait to get to
the boardwalk. “Wait,” Levi says while rushing out to pull his mother's wheel
chair out of the trunk.
“I don't need that,” Eren scoffs.
“Listen, I know you don't want to use this but walking on sand takes a lot of
effort even without having balance issues. Trust me. Use this until we get out
on the beach at least. Then if you feel like running or wobbling around on a
cane, I'll let you, okay?”
“Sure thing, 'ma',” Eren adds loudly.
Levi just smirks at that. He helps Eren to his feet then holds the chair steady
so he can sit again.
“Well, come on, slave,” Eren states, “mush...”
“Oh, so now you're so helpless you need me to wheel you out onto the beach?”
“Sure. This is your idea, Levi. Come on. I'll hold the cane while you push.”
“Fine,” Levi adds.
They make it to the breakwater without any trouble. Before taking that climb,
however, Eren stands to test his footing on the sand. He slips and slides but
can't help wanting to run along the beach like he did just last summer. When he
falls Levi is there but he says, “No. Don't touch me. I can do this.”
Levi backs up but stays close as he watches Eren leaning onto his cane to pull
himself up. The kid is brave, he'll give him that. It takes longer than
expected but soon Eren is standing again.
“Fuck this,” Eren says while tossing the cane over toward Levi.
“What do you think you're doing?” Levi asks as his brow furrows. Eren doesn't
answer him. Instead he starts lopping along the beach and soon he is running!
Oh, it feels so good to be so free again. It doesn't last long, however, and
soon Eren is falling into the sand. “Eren!” Levi shouts running toward him.
When Levi reaches him to pull the kid onto his back, Eren is laughing.
“You little shit, you scared me!”
“I know and I'm sorry but, man, that felt good,” Eren adds even though he's
covered in sand. Levi looks into those big, expressive eyes and seeing how
happy the kid is, he can't chastise him for his stupidity.
“Come on. I think you'll be safer sitting on solid ground,” Levi adds while
pulling him up with him. He hands him the cane again saying, “Just hang onto
it. You don't have to use it.” Eren nods but he does have to use it. He's more
wobbly on his walk back. Once they're at the breakwater again, Levi helps Eren
up the steep steps and they head out to the end of the wall. The bigger waves
are crashing into the wall as mist falls around them.
“I'll probably get sick from being out here,” Eren adds.
“What? You want to live forever?”
“No. Just another week or so would be nice,” Eren adds softly.
“Sorry I brought it up,” Levi says and Eren can tell that he means it. It's
like Levi forgot who he was talking to and that makes Eren smile even more.
“I met your mother the other day,” Eren states. “You two look a lot alike
except I think she's taller.”
“Fuck you.” Eren laughs again and it's the most beautiful sound Levi's ever
heard. “She's shorter than I am by over three inches,” Levi informs him.
“I know. I'm just yanking your chain.”
“You and the rest of the world combined,” Levi adds.
“So do people pick on you about your height?”
“Not any more but growing up, sure. That's all they did. Once I broke a kid's
nose and they stopped for awhile at least.”
“How old were you then?”
“Ten...eleven maybe,” Levi adds with a smirk.
“How old was he?”
“Nearly your age,” Levi adds with a smile of his own at the memory. “Yeah, he
was some air-headed jock. Thought he was tough shit but he'd never even been in
a fight before that one. I could tell since I'd been in plenty by then. He
reached back to hit me and quick as a fucking flee I punched, pulled back, and
was out of arms reach before he knew I'd hit him. It felt good getting the
better of someone so much stronger. After that I didn't have any more troubles
at that school. The last fight I was in was over three years ago now. That one
wasn't so good. I was pissed, disowned by my father, and looking for a fight. I
was drunk, too, which makes my reflexes shit. He was a big, blonde fucker. I
knew the moment he threw his first punch that I was in for a world of hurt. I
still bested him but not by much.”
“What happened after the fight?”
“He hired me to run his company,” Levi states. “His name's Smith. Erwin Smith,
and now he's my boss.”
Eren starts laughing again. Damn, Levi can't help but be saddened by the fact
that the world will soon lose that laughter. “How did you go from being
sparring partners to coworkers?”
“I apologized to him and explained why I was such an ass. He appreciated my
honesty and the fact that I was man enough to own up to my mistakes.”
“But you still lied to him...when you asked for time off,” Eren states.
“Oh, I called him last night. I told him what was really going on. Again, he
appreciates the honesty and told me to spend the day with you. He also gave me
a tip on a good place to take you to dinner tonight...unless you'd really
rather eat hospital food,” Levi adds with a smirk.
“What's the place?”
“Mamma's Best BBQ. He knows the owner.”
“I know that place. Yes, I'd love to eat there tonight. I can have that
wonderful hospital food anytime,” Eren states with a bit of sarcasm.
“I thought as much.”
They silently watch over the waves for a few minutes then the clouds start to
break up just as the sun begins to set. “We're in for a great sunset,” Eren
adds as his eyes scan the horizon.
“I wouldn't have it any other way,” Levi adds as he reaches over to give Eren's
hand a squeeze. At that, Eren looks into Levi's eyes again. They are actually
more of a deep midnight blue then grey. The sun glinting in them shows tiny
flecks of silver.
“I don't want to die a virgin,” Eren adds out of no where. Levi blinks a couple
of times then hesitantly pulls his hand away. “Levi, would you take me back to
your place after dinner?”
“Are you sure?”
Eren blushes then says, “If you'll have me, then yes, I sure.”
“If I'll have you? Why wouldn't I want you?”
“Well, the whole dying thing is a bit of a turn off, I suppose.”
“So you want a mercy fuck?”
“No. No mercy, no pity. I want to be fucked like a soldier going off to war. I
want to be fucked like it's my last night on earth,” Eren states as he reaches
out for Levi's hand again. With a nod, Levi takes it.
*
Instead of staying at the restaurant, Levi and Eren get their food to go. They
head back to Levi's place and don't bother eating. Instead Levi pulls Eren into
his bedroom and helps the kid out of his hoodie. He grabs hold of Eren's
sweater but he says, “No. I have to do it. The tape on the IV hub came loose.
If you help, it might rip out. Hang on.” Eren gently lifts the sweater off his
left arm and over his head. As he pulls it off his right arm, Levi can see
exactly what he means. Levi holds the weight of the sweater while Eren gently
untangles the hub. The reattaches the tape to his arm saying, “There. That's
better.”
“Do you still have a needle stuck in you?”
“No, but there is a small plastic tube. Normally they don't get jostled around
as much as this one did. But it's still good, for now anyway. Nurse Krista
might change it later, but she's really good. It won't hurt.”
“I don't know about this, Eren. Sex is pretty intense. I don't want to rip a
hole in your arm...”
“Don't worry about it.”
“Wait here,” Levi says as he heads for his medicine cabinet. “Will this help?”
he asks as he hands over a roll of clothe tape.
“Yes. Tear off about four three inch strips, handing them to me one at a time.”
Eren uses the tape to reinforce the hub. Just to be safe, Levi wraps the entire
thing in gauze to keep it from being accidentally pulled out.
The care Levi uses makes Eren appreciate him all the more.
“You don't mind having sex with a cripple, do you?”
“You're not a cripple,” Levi adds sternly. “You're just a young man who got a
shitty roll of the dice. I'll do whatever you want, Eren. If you want a blow-
job, no problem. To be fucked, we can do that too. If you want me to bottom,
that's up to you. Or if you just want to be held, I don't have a problem with
that either,” Levi adds while taking hold of Eren's hand. “I sort of think
that's what you really want.”
“A blow-job sounds good too,” Eren adds with a smile and he watches in awe as
Levi gets down on his knees in front of him. “You're really going to give me
oral?”
“I said I would,” Levi insists as he slides Eren's pants down and reaches to
grab hold of Eren's cock. The kid responses immediately.
Levi begins lavishing attention on the semi erect member, caressing and kissing
it at will. He uses his mouth to surround it entirely. The hot wet heat brings
Eren to a full erection in minutes. The kid stumbles back and sits on the bed
to support himself. Levi allows Eren's member to slip out but he soon follows
and is licking his way back up and over the shaft. Eren moans.
Levi spreads Eren's legs further to accommodate his head and shoulders. He
nuzzles his face against Eren's pubic hair. He strokes Eren a few times and
milks some of his preseminal fluid from of his loins. Eren groans, “Levi,” as
he runs his hand through the raven's hair. He leans back on the bed, giving
Levi better access and is rewarded with a firm pull on his dick. Eren's hips
thrust up and Levi catches Eren's manhood in his mouth.
Levi begins to hollow out his cheeks as he pulls up on the long shaft. The moan
he elicits from Eren is musical. Levi begins to suck on Eren's member like it
is a wonderfully creamy chocolate Popsicle. He sucks then releases, sucks then
licks, sucks then swallows the full load Eren shoots into his hungry mouth.
Levi keeps sucking even after Eren is fully spent. The kid is trembling but
Levi keeps at it. He knows someone so young has more than one load to give him.
He keeps going until Eren is sporting a semi again. Eren is in Elysium! He has
never experienced something that felt this good. It is mind blowing and Eren is
smiling like a goon.
Levi looks up into those gem like eyes and holds Eren's gaze through the next
ejaculation. He watches as Eren's eyes roll back into his head at such a
wonderful feeling. He explodes inside Levi's throat again then falls back on
the bed again. “Oh, god! So that's what I've been missing,” Eren pants.
Levi swallows again then kisses his way up over Eren's navel to his chest to
lay on the bed beside him. Eren gazes back at his new lover with deep
affection.
“You keep looking at me like that, Eren, and I'm going to fuck you into the
mattress.”
“Is that a threat or a promise,” Eren asks with a cheeky grin.
“Both.”
“I want you to but honestly I should be getting back to the hospital. I've been
off my meds for over five hours now...”
“Meds? What meds?”
“My anti-seizure medication. That's what's in the IV.”
“Holy shit. You mean you have to take that or you start seizing? Eren, why
didn't you tell me? I could have killed you.”
“I wanted to see the ocean. If I told you, that would have never happened.”
“I have to get you back. Get dressed.”
“Please hand me my clothes. If I bend to pick them up, I'll get dizzy.”
“Sure, just don't faint or seize or something,” Levi says slightly panicked.
Eren grabs hold of his hand saying, “Don't regret what we did, okay? Today is
the best day I've ever lived.”
“I don't regret it. I just don't want to do anything to make things worse,”
Levi says.
“Don't worry. You haven't,” Eren says confidently. He is still reeling in his
post-orgasmic haze. He slowly puts on his sweater, pants, hoodie, and shoes.
He's so glad Levi is dyslexic otherwise they would have never met. With a lazy
smile he looks up at Levi as the man dresses before him. If only they'd had
time for more. He would have loved to mark that gorgeous pale skin pulled tight
over all those big fucking muscles.
“Grab the food. We'll have a picnic when we get back to the room,” Eren adds.
Levi nods and ushers Eren back out to his car. He opts to take the Charger this
time since this may be the only chance Eren ever has to ride in it. Before long
they are back in the hospital parking lot.
He wheels Eren back to his room since he seems very tired now and slightly out
of it.
“Good god, where have you been,” Nurse Krista says in near panic.
“He wanted to see the ocean.”
“But sunset was over two hours ago,” she states.
“Krista, this is Levi. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me so go
easy on him," Eren quips.
“Your father is here,” she whispers. “I called him an hour ago. I'm sorry,
Eren, but I didn't know what else to do.”
“My father? Well, at least he still cares,” Eren says but he's started to slur
his words.
“Is that normal,” Levi asks. “I've never heard him slur his words before.”
“He'll be a lot worse off then that if we don't get his meds back in his
system,” she states.
They quickly get Eren back to his room. Luckily, Grisha is not there at the
moment. Levi helps Krista get him out of his clothes and back into his hospital
gown. Then she checks his IV hub over saying, “Well, at least you two had the
brains not to rip this out. I will have to flush it, of course, but it should
still work.”
She does just that and manages to hook everything back up the way it should be.
It takes almost twenty minutes for the meds to kick in. Levi waits by Eren's
bedside anxiously making certain he's doing better before leaving him alone
again.
Suddenly he hears a deep voice ask, “Who are you?”
He turns in his seat to find a thin man with glasses perched on his nose and a
scraggly looking beard gazing back at him. The hair and eye color is roughly
the same as Eren's but this man is at least twice his age.
“Dr. Jaeger, I presume.” Levi says, “My name is Levi Ackerman.”
“Ackerman? As in Kuchel Ackerman?”
“Yes, she is my mother.”
“I see. So what brings you to Eren's room?”
“Originally...dyslexia,” Levi states. Grisha looks back at the door and sees
that yes, Eren's room is 313 where Kuchel's room is 331.
“And now?”
“Well, your son impressed me. I am surprised how someone so young and bright-
eyed could have such a depressed view of the world.”
“You do realize Eren has an inoperable brain tumor?”
“Yes, he told me,” Levi says while looking back at the kid.
“And that he'll be lucky to make it to his eighteenth birthday in March?”
“Yes, he told me that as well,” Levi admits.
“Then why are you here, Levi? All the rest of his 'friends' have abandoned him.
Oh, sure they made their rounds when he was first admitted but slowly...little
by little...they found waiting for their friend to die to be too depressing,”
Dr. Jaeger states.
“Is that why you never visit him?” Levi asks none too gently.
“I visit Eren every single day. I'm his Oncology doctor,” Grisha states.
“Yes, but are you ever just his father or does he face a cold, indifferent
doctor every time you visit?”
Grisha blinks a couple of times. He never thought of it that way. Yes, he's
kept a clinical distance between himself and his patient yet the patient is
also his only son...a son that has not only lost his mother in the passed six
months but has also been diagnosed with a terminal illness of his own.
“You're still here?” they both hear Eren say.
“Of course I am,” Levi adds softly. “You still have to help me eat these
spareribs.”
“I am hungry,” Eren adds softly. “Oh, hey doc.”
“Eren,” Grisha says formally. “How are you feeling?”
“I got to see the ocean and a beautiful sunset today,” Eren states. “My good
friend Levi took me.”
“Yes, I've been meaning to speak with you about that, Eren. You were off your
meds for over five hours. You could have had a seizure and died.”
“But I didn't. The moment I felt weird, I told Levi and he didn't hesitate to
bring me back. Oh, don't blame Levi, doc, he had no idea the IV held any type
of medicine. He thought it was just to keep me hydrated.”
“Now he knows better,” Grisha adds with a sour look.
“Yes, I do. Are there pills he can use so he can leave his bed for more than a
few minutes at a time,” Levi asks.
“Not at this high a dose. It's a constant stream of medication and the only
thing keeping him from getting worse.”
“Eren, you should have told me,” Levi says without any guilt. “I don't know
what I would have done if you...”
“I am going to die anyway,” Eren says. “I wanted to see the ocean one more time
plus I got to see a beautiful sunset with a gorgeous, caring friend. It was a
perfect day.”
“It was a perfect day,” Levi agrees as he squeezes Eren's hand again.
Just then the orderly enters saying, “I have your dinner for you, Eren.” He
places the tray in front of Eren and leaves a moment later.
Eren lifts the lids and looks down at the congealed concoction. “Can I have a
couple of those spareribs now?” Levi opens the bag and dishes a few out.
Grisha is about to object but when he sees Eren's eyes light up at seeing the
delicacy, he says, “I'll be back in an hour, Eren. Make certain no trace of
this traitorous meal remains.”
“Aye aye, captain,” Eren says before taking that first tender bite. He moans,
it's so good. Levi quickly joins him and they eat until their hearts' content.
*
The following day when Levi enters he finds Eren wearing a rather odd looking
grin. “Hey,” Levi adds in his normal not impressed tone.
“Hey yourself,” Eren answers back. Levi starts to sit in the chair beside his
bed but Eren reaches out for his hand saying, “No, lay beside me.”
“I don't want to knock any of your tubes out.”
“There's just the one. Crawl over top of me and lean your back against the side
rail.”
Levi sighs while looking into those mischievous eyes but doesn't deny wanting
to be closer to him. “Okay, slide over this way a little.” Eren does as told
and Levi feels awkward crawling over top of him but does so anyway. “You're
looking at me kind of like a Cheshire cat. What's going on?”
Eren pulls on the tubing attached to his hub to give himself more flexibility.
He rolls toward Levi saying, “I spoke to Reiner last night and asked a favor of
him.”
“What kind of favor?”
“I asked him to get me a couple of things from the store. He was pretty good
about it.”
“Should I ask what type of things?”
“No. You'll find out soon enough,” Eren says as he runs his finger tips over
Levi's pale lips. Levi raises an eyebrow at him when Eren says, “You do realize
we've never even kissed.”
“I had your dick in my mouth and swallowed your cum...twice. I think we're sort
of passed the 'just kissing' phase,” Levi deadpans.
“Yes, but I'd still like to kiss you, Levi. You don't mind, do you?”
“Of course not,” Levi adds with a softer look.
“Good,” Eren says before leaning in to do just that.
Their first kiss is a little hesitant. Levi's out of practice and Eren's
clearly a newbie. But their second kiss is far from innocent. It's hot and wet
and clearly desperate. Levi latches onto Eren in a way he didn't expect. “Why
are you dying,” Levi whispers in his ear. “I only just found you.”
Eren pulls away to look into the older man's eyes. He sees a sort of confusion
and longing there that makes his heart ache in a very real, personal way.
“You'll miss me when I'm gone,” Eren asks but it's more of a statement.
“Fuck, Eren, don't die on me,” Levi says with a voice more emotionally charged
then he meant to. Eren watches as tears start to flood Levi's long lashes. Eren
leans in to kiss the tears away.
“I thank god every day for making you dyslexic,” Eren murmurs.
“Thanks,” Levi adds sarcastically.
“I mean it. If you weren't, we never would have met.”
“Don't fucking say things like that, Eren,” Levi nearly whines since his heart
is aching. He clutches onto Eren again saying, “Please don't die.”
It's a desperate plea, Eren knows, yet he can't help but smile because of it.
Someone is really going to miss him when he's dead and even though it's morbid
and a tad mean to want someone else to feel such pain, Eren can't fault himself
for doing just that. We all want to be remembered after we're gone. It's a sure
fire way to make sure our life meant something.
Just then Reiner enters bringing Eren his lunch. “Ah, so that's why you wanted
that shit,” the man says with a smile on his lips. “Don't worry. I'll watch the
door and run interference but I'm due on the next wing in thirty minutes so
times ticking, guys.”
Eren smiles back at the big, muscular blonde. Levi furrows his brow but doesn't
say a word.
The moment Reiner leaves Eren says, “Thirty minutes. I don't even know if
that's enough time.”
“Enough time for what, Eren? What are you hiding?”
With a cheeky grin Eren says, “I had him get me some condoms and lube. I was
hoping I might get to use them before,” he makes a weird noise and draws a
slash across his throat.
“You expect us to fuck right here, right now,” Levi scoffs.
“Sure. Where's your sense of adventure?”
“Oh, Eren, I don't know. I mean this is kind of awkward...in the bright day
light...in the middle of an Oncology Ward.”
“Well, it's not like we can go on a romantic date. That sort of went out the
window with dad ordering everyone to keep an eye out for his wayward son,” Eren
adds. “Besides you're here and Reiner's running interference...” Eren begins
unbuttoning the top button on Levi's shirt.
Levi looks up into that determined face. Eren means to do this. Then he
realizes that EREN means to do this. “I haven't bottomed in years,” Levi
states.
“Good. Then you'll be nice and tight.” That actually brings a blush to the
older man's cheek.
“Assholes are usually tight anyway, Eren.” Eren's hand reaches for the button
on Levi's pants. “Give me the lube,” Levi says finally. “I'll prime myself. It
will be quicker that way.” Eren nods and reaches beneath his pillow to pull out
both the lubricate and the condoms. Levi still can't believe he's doing this.
In the middle of the day, in the middle of a hospital room. He slips his pants
down passed his knees saying, “Just don't forget to hold onto the condom when
you pull out. I don't need cum all over the back of my pants.”
Levi gets into position and primes himself. Eren can't help but watch
transfixed as the tight ass presents itself so willingly just for his pleasure.
“Damn, Levi, you've got a great ass!”
“Yes, and it's only used for shitting so go easy at first.”
Eren fumbles with the condom since he's plenty ready and extremely nervous. He
douses it with lube, spilling a little on his sheets.
“Alright, Eren. I'm ready as I'll ever be,” Levi states as he lowers his chest
down toward the mattress. Eren gets the urge to smack Levi's ass and does.
“Fuck! You might want to keep the noise down, brat.”
Eren smiles as he positioned himself behind him. His damn IV is pulling so he
says, “Slide sideways for me. I don't want to pull my IV out.” Levi does and
now he's facing more toward the guard rail. He grabs hold of Eren's pillow to
cushion what he's sure will be a bumpy ride. He doesn't want to break his nose
on the bed.
Eren eagerly pushes in all the way to his abdomen and Levi says a few
expletives at not being used to such a large intrusion. Soon Eren is gripping
onto Levi chest with his left arm and putting all his weight on Levi's ass,
hips, and knees. It's not exactly comfortable but Levi knows it's Eren's first
time and rookie mistakes are bound to happen.
Eren pushes up Levi's loose shirt to see those glorious muscles for himself.
Damn, the man is fit! He begins kissing and gnawing on Levi's back and finally,
that sweet ass of his. It takes a few minutes for Eren to manage a real rhythm
though. He's so focused on trying to do everything at once that it's sort of
confusing. When Levi begins to push back against the kid, Eren gets the hint
and begins fucking him in earnest.
“Levi, I'm going to cum,” he pants the moment his rhythm begins to get intense.
“Then cum for me, Eren,” Levi adds in that tempting voice of his. The sound and
approval send Eren over the edge into Nirvana.
Levi feels when Eren reaches down to grab hold of the condom so he doesn't
bother reminding him to do so.
Levi is about to roll on his side again when Eren says, “No. Stay just like
that. I want to do that again.” Eren begins running his hands over Levi's body.
He accidentally touches the man's stiff cock and says, “Fuck, I forgot all
about you.”
Levi laughs at that. Yes, he neglected touching his partner's most erogenous
zone in favor of pleasuring his own carnal desires but that's also a rookie
mistake. Eren begins stroking Levi between his legs, touching him, foundling
his dick with great care. Doing so is also getting Eren horny again. He reaches
for another condom and repeats the process before entering Levi for a second
time. This time he does remember to stroke Levi as he fucks him. Levi is
pushing and pulling against not only Eren's hand but his cock and cums first
this time.
The moment Eren feels the slickness on his hand, he grips hold of Levi's hip
and plows into the man without much care. He's fucking him in earnest when they
hear someone outside their door say, “What do you mean, I can't go in there?
Reiner, you know he needs to be checked.”
“Oh, shit,” Levi hisses knowing that they're about to be interrupted but Eren
hears it too. He increases his pace and instead of trying to hold off like he
was doing, he gives in and cums a second time. He grabs hold of the condom as
he withdraws and Levi quickly pulls in his pants. He tosses the sheet over his
own cum before buttoning his shirt.
“Krista, stop,” Reiner shouts just as Levi hops down off the bed. Eren hides
the rest of the condoms and lube under his pillow again and lays down.
He's still panting when Nurse Krista enters saying, “Jeez, Reiner, why are you
even here? Aren't you suppose to be over in Ward 5 by now?”
Reiner peers through the door and sees Eren's flushed face beaming back to him
but nothing more scandalous then that. “You're right. I'll see you later,”
Reiner adds with a smile shot toward Eren.
Krista looks toward her patient saying, “Wow, Eren. Are you feeling alright?
You look like you just ran a marathon.”
“I'm feeling great,” he adds as he looks over at Levi who he sees is trying
hard not to laugh.
“Well, our monitors say you're blood pressure for the last few minutes has been
elevated. I thought I should check on you just to be certain you weren't trying
to escape again.”
“Nope. I''m not going anywhere,” Eren adds. “I have everything I need right
here,” he says as his eyes shift back toward Levi.
“Good 'cause Dr. Jaeger wasn't too happy with me after what happened. I'm lucky
he didn't write me up. And Levi, your mother has been asking for you. You
should go pay her a visit before you leave.”
“I'll go do that now,” Levi adds. “I'll be back before I leave, Eren.”
Levi slips out of the room with a smirk on his face. Once outside the door, he
stretches to get he kinks out of his back. His ass is a bit sore but he doesn't
mind at all. Eren fucks much better than the average newbie.
*
Eren's blood work isn't as good as it should be so Dr. Jaeger starts him on
another set of meds. These make Eren nauseous plus he has very little energy.
Levi notices the difference right away.
“My mom's going home again tomorrow,” Levi offers by way of conversation.
Eren just nods.
“She'll have a full time nurse for about a week while she's recovering from her
surgery.”
Eren gives him a half smile then they're silent for a moment before Eren asks,
“Levi, will you be at my funeral?”
Levi swallows the lump in his throat before saying, “Of course I will.”
“Good,” Eren adds with a weak smile.
“But that's not going to be for years yet,” Levi adds hopefully.
Eren's eyes shift to his. They both know that's not true but the comment is
suppose to give Eren a sense of courage to face his death.
“Levi, I don't have much by way of material possessions but there is something
that I want you to have.”
“Eren, please. Stop talking like this.”
Eren smiles at him again. “You just can't face it, can you? My dying, I mean.
My mother died not long after I was imprisoned here. She died on her way to see
me. That's why I was so fucked up in the head when you came in here the first
time,” he explains, “I didn't want anyone caring about me. She was perfectly
healthy and it was raining. She got in that car accident on her way to see her
only son in the god damned hospital. She was just trying to be here for me and
died. That quick. No reason, just dead. They wouldn't even let me out to attend
the funeral. I think that was the hardest part. Not getting to say a proper
good-bye to the woman that gave birth to me.”
Levi isn't usually an emotional man but hearing this has got him in tears. The
kid is dying for fuck's sake. And lost the only parent that apparently cares
about him because he was here instead of home where he should have been.
Softly Levi says, “I'll be there for you, Eren. I'll say a proper good-bye.”
“Thank you, Levi,” he says while reaching out to take his hand. “I love you.”
Levi nods as he wipes the tears away with his sleeve.
*
The following day, Levi is very busy getting his mother settled. So much so
that he turns his phone off to not be bothered. When he finally checks his
messages, he has several from an unknown number. He pulls it out and returns
the call. Before he can say a word Nurse Krista says, “I'm sorry to bother you,
Mr. Ackerman. I know you're probably helping your mother get settled but I
thought you should know that Eren Jaeger has slipped into a coma.”
“Eren...is in a coma,” Levi asks again making certain he heard her correctly.
“Yes, sir. I am sorry to have called you but Eren left a message with us that
if anything happened to him to contact you.”
“Is he still in room 313?”
“Yes, for now at least. His father may have him moved to the ICU later tonight
if things...well, you know what I mean,” she whispers.
Yes, if he gets even worse, the ICU team will keep a better watch on him. “May
I still come to see him?”
“We're really not suppose to allow that but I'll sneak you in. Be certain to
come in before 6 pm since my shift is over then,” the nurse states.
“I'll be there within the hour,” Levi adds and before he hangs up he says,
“Thank you, Krista.”
*
“It's hard watching someone you love die,” Reiner states when he comes to empty
Eren's trash. “That's how I got into this line of work. My friend Bert was here
when he was fighting for his life. Motorcycle accident. No helmet. He should
have died at the scene they told me, but he just wouldn't give up. He lasted
over four days before finally...”
Levi ignores the man. He knows he means well. He's trying to be comforting, but
all Levi hears is that death is inevitable and he really doesn't want to hear
that shit right now.
Eren remains in a coma for another two days before he is pronounced legally
brain dead. Grisha has the machines turned off and it is the first time Levi
sees the man show any sign of emotion.
The funeral is held off for a couple of days to allow Eren's sister Mikasa time
to fly home from Japan. Levi didn't even know he had a sister.
The funeral is packed. Friends and acquaintances from all over the city show up
to pay their respects. Levi looks around at all those unfamiliar faces
wondering where the hell all these assholes have been for the past two weeks
while Eren was still holding on to life. Where were they when he needed them
most?
A short blonde headed kid approaches Levi saying, “Did you know Eren well?”
His eyes narrow as he asks, “How do you know him?”
“Oh, Eren was my best friend...”
“Bullshit,” Levi hisses venomously. “If you were his best friend, we would have
met days ago. Not now after he's already worm food.” Levi moves away from the
short blonde before he punches the fucker in his cute little face.
A woman that looks a great deal like Levi himself is speaking with Dr. Jaeger.
He slides up behind them to listen in on their conversation. “...I told you to
call me if he took a turn for the worse, Grisha. Why didn't you call me?”
“There was nothing anyone could do, Mikasa.”
“Then you should have called me sooner. As soon as he started to go down hill.”
“Eren told me not to. He said you were too over protective. He favored this man
that looks a lot like you actually. The guy even sneaked Eren out of the
hospital...”
“So he's the one to blame? Is he the reason why Eren's dead?”
That's when Levi butts in saying, “Eren wanted to see the ocean before he died.
He got to see that and a beautiful sunset besides.”
Mikasa's eyes narrow dangerously at the stranger. “And just who might you be?”
“I'm the guy that took Eren to see the ocean,” Levi says flatly waiting for all
hell to break loose.
Instead, the girl with the red scarf gives him a spontaneous hug saying, “Thank
you.”
“Aren't you pissed at me for killing your brother?”
She pauses for a moment before saying, “I promised to take him to see the ocean
when I came home on leave for Winter Break. I knew it was a long shot but I
figured it would give him something to keep fighting for. I'm glad he got to
see it one last time before he died.”
“Then I take back all the mean things I was saying about you in my head just
now,” Levi adds with a gentle smile.
“I'm Mikasa Ackerman. Eren's adoptive sister.”
“I'm Levi Ackerman. Eren's...friend.”
“So you're Levi,” she adds with a knowing look. Oh, god. Now what? “I'll speak
with you later, Grisha,” Mikasa says while taking Levi's arm in her own and
steering him over toward the casket. She looks down on her brother's lifeless
face saying, “I finally met him, Eren. And you're right. We do look alike.”
“I take it you two talked about me?”
“Every night,” Mikasa states. “He called before I headed off to class. I know
everything.”
“I hope not everything,” Levi adds softly.
“Everything,” she reiterates with a smile. There's a light blush dusting Levi's
cheeks.
His eyes gaze down at his dead lover. “Fuck.”
“Listen, I have that gift Eren wanted you to have...”
“About that. You should probably keep it yourself,” Levi states.
“Then I take it you don't know what it is, do you?”
Levi looks up into her face. What could Eren have possibly given him that his
sister wouldn't want or need. She opens her purse and reaches inside. She hands
over a small box with a letter.
“You'll understand once you read this,” she says before leaving him where he
stands.
Levi turns the letter over a couple of times debating whether or not to open it
now. The box looks like a little jewelry box but how did Eren find a way to get
him a present since he was confined to the building? He supposes that Reiner
might have gotten it for him but he said it was one of his possessions like he
had had it for awhile.
Finally, Levi opens the box. Inside is a little key on a silver chain. He
doesn't understand until he reads the letter which says:
Dear Levi:
Since you're reading this, I know you finally got to meet my sister Mikasa.
Yes,
you two look alike and she's just as emotionally stunted as you yet you both
have
a soft spot where I'm concerned.
She knows all about you: EVERYTHING so don't try to bullshit her. She'll know
you're lying.
The possession I wanted you to have was originally a gift Grisha gave to my
mother.
He told her it is the key to his heart. He gave it to me after she died saying,
'I hope you
find someone worthy of giving it to'. Then you came into my life. Perfect
timing
by-the-way. I honestly never thought I'd have anyone to give it to.
So please keep it and remember that you hold the key to my heart also.
I love you,
Eren
Levi has tears in his eyes again. He never cried so much in the last ten years
as he has during the past several days. He puts the necklace on and places the
key against his skin. “I love you, Eren,” he says as he leans over to kiss his
lover's cheek. “Thank you for waiting for me.”
It is when Eren's casket is finally lowered into the ground that Levi knows
he's done his duty. He's said a proper good-bye to the man he loves and knows
that Eren Jaeger shall not be soon forgotten.
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