Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/6845356.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      弱虫ペダル_|_Yowamushi_Pedal
  Relationship:
      Aoyagi_Hajime/Teshima_Junta, Aoyagi_Hajime/Kaburagi_Issa, Imaizumi
      Shunsuke/Teshima_Junta
  Character:
      Teshima_Junta, Aoyagi_Hajime, OCs-_just_to_further_plot, Kaburagi_Issa,
      Imaizumi_Shunsuke
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_College/University, Established_Relationship, Angst
      and_Fluff_and_Smut, POV_First_Person, Porn_With_Plot, Underage_Sex,
      Underage_Drinking, Underage_Smoking, Self-Harm
  Series:
      Part 3 of Oh..._(the_series)
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-05-14 Completed: 2016-08-13 Chapters: 11/11 Words: 43018
****** Oh man... ******
by Vashiekk
Summary
     (( More intoxicated fanfiction for you guys! And now it's complete!
     Thanks for all the reads and kudos! )) Classes have begun... just
     what could be in store?
Notes
     (( Welp, it's that time again already~. Continuing my ongoing series!
     Again, thanks to all would've read/enjoyed my first two to this
     nonsense. Although, I intend to make this section shorter and come to
     a more satisfying conclusion. Intend, doesn't mean it's going to be.
     Unsure yet, I do write these chapters in a day without much thought
     leading into 'em! Anyway, do enjoy! ))
     (( Starting off in Junta's PoV! ))
***** Oh man, the ramblings continues... *****
Our new life truly starts today.
Six thirty in the morning we awake, giving us enough time to eat breakfast and
dress into our uniforms. Black dress pants with a a plain white undershirt, a
normal setup. The school's colors come into play through the light blue tie and
forest green vest. Quite stylish actually, I would wear this as a normal
outfit. Seeing as Aoyagi will someday be knee deep in painting, his long bangs
had to be addressed. Wouldn't want that in the way. Not being the best at tying
it back, it's going to become a morning routine of me brushing and getting it
into place. Soon enough he'll learn how to do it properly, but I won't lie, I
do enjoy doing it. Especially seeing that handsome smile in thanks once it's
finished. After getting my long hair into a ponytail, our backpacks are swung
over a shoulder and we're out the door.
The strangeness that was the chill in the early autumn air has passed, the
normal temperatures of high seventies returning. Was odd to feel cold during
this time of year, but anything can happen with the weather. Another strange
thing is when this term starts. In October of all months? This school
definitely does things a little differently, seeing as now most others are in
their second term of the same year. This is a College though, so I expect
things to be off. Our high school friends already returned to their mundane
routine, not even half way through their year. We'd still be there to finish up
if the College didn't except us so early due to our outstanding scores. Aoyagi
and I crammed studied for weeks to pass the entrance exam and for the rest of
the credits needed to graduate. It wasn't easy. Just like Makishima last year,
we left off early to get a head start on our new life. Was difficult to leave
them when there was so much for us to do together, but that's just the way it
is.
As for Ashikiba, he isn't able to make it this term due to the work load that
comes with graduating early. A shame, but I can't blame him for waiting out
until next semester or until actual graduation. He has his sights locked on a
few different schools, but this one obviously stands out due to my attendance.
I'll be here for three years... so I have time.
 
---
 
At eight sharp, we arrive at the school to join the rest of the students inside
the auditorium. The first day was a simple introduction to the staff and
welcomes to new students such as us. The first hour was spend this way, the
rest of the three used on getting settled in to our main classroom and giving
our introductions to the other students. Being in my singing portion of my
term, my class consists of many males and females of varying ages wanting to
pursue a career or simply advance their skills. There's anxiety being a new
student, but I found comfort knowing there's a few others in the same boat.
Hopefully I'll be able to find a few friends here, feels strange not being in
classes with Aoyagi. At the last hour, our teacher stepped in to introduce
himself.
Hayashi Rin, a middle-aged man with signs of gray in his slicked back hair and
stance proud like a person with many years of experience in the field. Swear
I've heard his name before though... and it's not as a singer. Regardless, he
feels like a strict, yet gentle sensei with a determined mindset. Turns out
this is his first year teaching here, but has experience teaching through
private schools and being hired to home school. I'm excited to be taught by
such a proud looking man. With there still being time left, there was a short
period where each student came to the front and talked a little about
themselves. There's the normal 'I want to become a star' and 'I have enough
talent to become famous' sort of talk, the expected when taking these sort of
courses. It goes by quick seeing as my particular class only holds around
thirty students. When I make my way to the front, my words come simple and
sincere.
“Greetings!” I start with a low bow of the head, “My name is Teshima Junta and
I come from Sohoku High School as a new student. It's pleasure to meet you
all.”
“Sohoku?” my sensei asks, “That name sounds awfully familiar.” Why would it
sound familiar to him?
“Does it? Well, if you're a cycling fan, my school took the nationals at this
year's Inter-High during the summer. Cycling is a huge part of my life, but the
wishes to become a pop singer someday is higher on my list. After all, I lack
the strength to become a professional athlete, that's why I've joined this
school.”
“Ha! That's fantastic! All those years of cycling must have trained your lungs
well. With my help, you're sure to succeed in your dream, Teshima-kun.” The
wrinkles on Hayashi-sensei's face become prominent when he grins merrily
towards me.
“I-I thank you, sensei! I'll do my best!” After giving another bow, I return to
my seat with a wide smile across my face. He has confidence that every student
here will succeed... and I sure hope that's my case. The vocal lessons I'm
receiving during this term will help me immensely, especially being under his
wing. Don't know... have a strange feeling he's going to push me down the right
path.
---
The school bell rings and each student excuses themselves, the rest of the day
for ourselves. At this school, a four hour day is a normal thing. Most of our
'off time' will be spent on projects on home, be in essays, book study or
putting our lessons into practice. With it being the first day, there's no
burden; the rest free. Would be, but there's a cycling club to officially join.
Beforehand, Aoyagi and I set up a spot to meet up after class; which is at the
bike racks on the west side of the school. I get there first, being closer to
the location, and I find K leaned against the stone wall nearby. Guess his
classroom is even closer.
“Hey Junta-bug!” exclaims the energetic man, “Have a good first day?”
“Could say so, everything went smoothly. You ride your bike out here as well?”
“Sure did~. This baby right here!” He boisterously laughs when patting the
saddle of a black and red colored Fuji. A sleek looking vehicle, that's for
sure. Not a speck of dirt or grease is on it either, like it just came out of a
repair shop. Could be the case or he takes good care of it. He did mention
being a handyman, so maybe he knows how to keep it at tip-top shape? “You
excited to see the cycling team here? It's small, but now you and Aoyagi-kun
are joining the ranks!”
“Of course I am! Always excited when I get to cycle with my friends.” We spend
this time talking bike nonsense, from our brands of gear sets and preferred
style of cycling. My goal in my younger years was to become an all-rounder, but
that mindset has changed. Ever since being inspired by Onoda and Makishima, a
strong climber is my goal. K has been cycling since middle school, much like
myself, so there's plenty of experience under his belt. Although, his high
school didn't have an official cycling team, so he hasn't been in many team
races. Mostly single races around the Chiba Prefecture. As for his College
life, their team hasn't been able to pass the entrance race to be able to run
the nationals; finishing pretty far down on the ranks. Not a good sign, but
maybe all they need is myself and Aoyagi to make a change.
“Aoyagi-kun still isn't here?” K brings up after a few minutes of rambling,
“You think he got lost?”
“Doubt it. He has a better sense of direction than me thanks to all those video
games he plays.” Curious about the tardiness, I pull out my phone to see if I
missed a text. Turns out I did.
 
[ !! …?]
 
“... is that the way he normally texts you?” K peeks over my shoulder to see
the simple lines of punctuation, brows raised in wonder. “You understand that?”
“Yup~! Seems Tsuji-sensei ran into him and asked to stop by the office to see
how the wound is doing. He'll be a little late and asks for us to wait here.”
He scoffs with a shrug of the shoulders.
“Persistent nurse Tsuji-kun is... and I won't ask how you can read that. I'll
just trust your word. Gives time for a smoke break.” He pulls the half crushed
pack of cigarettes from the front of the uniform's vest and a lighter from a
back pocket. He looks to me, then to the items. “You bring any with you?”
“Of course not!” I say with a shake of the head. “You know I'm still underage,
I'm keeping them a home. Can always have my break then.” He offers a cheeky
grin before lighting it up, the strong scent of his brand already tickling my
nostrils. Does smell and sound good... “I take back what I said. Mind if I bum
one off you?”
“Pfft, knew you couldn't resist!”
 
---
 
By the time we've enjoyed our cigarettes, Aoyagi finds his way here. Turns out
by how well he took care of the wound, the stitches were taken out promptly;
leaving a faint mark behind. It's still reddened from irritation, but the scar
itself doesn't stand out too much. Even if it did, I wouldn't care.
Imperfections on the skin are just proof that you're human. Really, I think it
looks sort of cute. Brings some definition to his already beautiful face.
Instead of riding our bikes to the small club room, we walked the distance so
Aoyagi can explain how his first day went. Like myself, after orientation was
the awkward introductions. The other students were nothing to note, but his
teacher sounds... interesting. Sada Tamiko, a bubbly woman who's brimming with
energy; completely clashing with Aoyagi's silent personality. Said he feels
extremely uncomfortable around her and is unsure if his course in illustration
will go smoothy with her in charge. I think he just needs to warm up, it's only
first day after all. It's great this semester will focus on pencil drawings
seeing as there's the burden of the painting project at the coffee shop. You
have no idea how proud I am of him... and how thankful I am to Shimizu for
setting it up. The payment will be appreciated of course, but the fact that my
partner's work is going to be viewed by the public is more treasured.
 
---
 
On the east side of the school grounds is the area for the outdoor activities,
a tennis and football course close by. With this a more privatized College,
it's no surprise that the clubs are tiny in comparison to most. Just means
we'll have to work even harder to stand a chance in upcoming races. It
definitely reminds me of the one at Sohoku, a compact building with no bells
and whistles. Not like we'd be spending much time inside, so it isn't a
trouble. Although, the strange thing is spotting no bikes on the nearby racks.
Maybe they're all inside for checkups? After we park ours aside for the time
being, we step inside to see a puzzling room.
“It's... empty...?” Aoyagi mumbles. There's absolutely nothing except for a
table and few chairs! The walls are completely bare of any racks or even
posters, just a few emptied out lockers.
“You sure this is the right place?” I ask to K, who looks just as surprised as
us.
“... it is, this has been our clubroom for years now. Maybe they changed it
last moment?”
“I'm afraid that isn't the case,” a voice says in the darkness. Out from a
storage room near the back, the built figure of a man steps into the dim
lighting peeking in through the windows. It's...
“My singing teacher? Hayashi-sensei?”
“Greetings to you again, Teshima-kun. Not surprised you're here.” He grins
brightly at me and folds his arms over his chest, still dressed in the
expensive looking suit during class. He's a cyclist?
“Wait, he's your teacher?” K questions with a finger pointed at me, “He's been
our Coach! Who knew he was a singing teacher!” Seriously?
“Just started teaching this year actually, Hanamura-kun.” He takes a step
forward with a low hum and brows knitted in frustration. “A pleasure to see
you're still interested in cycling this semester, but I regret to inform you
that the club is shut down.”
“What?” all three of us say in synch.
“It's true, I already informed the rest of the members. Short notice, I know,
but I wasn't expecting it either. The school had to cut back on school
activities to balance the budget and this club was one of them. There was no
reason to ask why... not like we've brought any trophies or anything notable in
the years it's been active. Lowest members too. Makes sense, not many singers,
writers and actors want to cycle anyway. They'd rather be in, say, a manga or
any other club that doesn't use much physical activity.” You have to be kidding
me...
“B-but Coach!” K follows in sort of a panic,“We could try something to keep it
together!” He must be the most upset of us all. “We have two members that won
the Inter-High this year! Isn't that enough to... maybe...”
“Hannamura-kun... the expense to upkeep the building, keep our bikes in check,
bus fees to go to events, hotel expenses... It's too pricy to fund ourselves,
even if every dedicated member chipped in. And I'm teaching now, so I probably
wouldn't be able to keep coaching.” He lets out a long sigh and his arms fall
to his sides in a slump. “It's not like you have to stop cycling. Can train on
your own and with others. Can still attends races too, if you can get to them
that is. You just wouldn't representing the school.”
“He's right,” Aoyagi says, “We can still cycle together, this shouldn't change
much.” K smiles weakly towards him before his gaze falls to the ground.
“That's true... but dammit! Right when I thought we had a shot at -maybe-
attending higher level races as a school team...” He weaves a hand through his
long bangs with a sigh of defeat. “Guess there's always other races. We could
come up with something...”
“We sure can!” I playfully prod at his arm with an elbow, which makes him peer
back with a weak smile. Not letting him get down in the dumps so easily. “Even
if it's just us three, there's sure to be plenty of opportunities to ride. And
if we can't make it out to the big stuff, then so what? We'll still ride
together, right?”
“You know, you make a point Junta-bug!” To my surprise, he turns and grips at
my waist to lift me high into the air. I feel like a child in his gigantic
hands! “I still get to ride with the ex-Captains and have fun with my new
friends!” We share a brief, awkward chuckle before he places me back down,
tanned cheeks flushed red. Embarrassed? Yeah... that was sort of sudden and
spur of the moment. Not like he kissed me, that would have been far worse.
“Ah, before I forget...” I look back to my teacher with a curious expression.
“Sorry if I'm intruding, but I feel like I've heard your name before, Hayashi-
sensei. Did you attend Sohoku or something?” He responds with a shake of the
head and returns to picking up the few scattered items around the clubroom.
“I rode in the Tour De France a handful of times in my younger years. May have
heard my name from older videos you may have watched. Not like I took any
trophies or anything substantial. Unsure why my name stood out.”
“... that's right. There was a part during one that really took my breath away.
It was a climb!” I snap two fingers when the thought returns. “You were leading
during that day!”
“You're correct, that was... seven years ago now.” He closes a locker and sighs
out heavily. “Too bad I wasted all my energy... I could have taken a higher
ranking if I paced myself. But, I have to continue getting this place in order.
Pretty sure you three are excited to hit the trails and enjoy the perfect day
for cycling as well.”
“Oh hell yeah!” K shouts at the top of his lungs. Holy hell! Almost gave me a
heart attack! “Let's do this! Just because the club is gone, it doesn't mean
I'm going to stop doing my favorite hobby. Have plenty of routes to show you
guys around here too!” To scare me and Aoyagi further, the large man grips at
our wrists and drags us back outside to our bikes.
“H-hey! We have to go change first!” I comment when pulling my arm away. Know
he's excited, but school uniforms aren't exactly comfortable; even during a
causal ride.
“Sorry... got a little worked up.” There's a board grin across his face when he
scratches the back of his head. “I should do that too. Then I'll meet you two
at the front entrance in a few minutes, cool?” Aoyagi and I both give a nod in
approval and retrieve our bikes. Despite the announcement of not having a club
to go to after class hours, I'm really happy. Maybe it's because the burden of
having extreme training atop work being gone... a relaxed feeling to know we'd
just be cycling for fun and only sometimes hard if we're able to make it into a
race. While riding down the short trail that leads to our dorms, K peers to
Aoyagi and smirks. “You know, think I came up for a nickname for you too.”
“... you did?” my partner mumbles uneasily. My eyes dart back and forth between
the two. Oh, I can't wait to hear what he came up with.
“You know that time you stopped by my place and dropped off those leftovers? I
found that super nice! Like, you could have just tossed 'em out! And it's clear
how sweet you are to your friends, so...” At the fork of the route, he turns
and quickly speeds down the right side; which does go towards his dorm. Why'd
be have to race off like that? “So I'm calling you Cupcake from now on! Hope
that's alright, kid!” Aoyagi's jaw drops and his motions come to a sudden stop;
now staring dumbfounded at the figure fading off into the distance. And I
thought 'Junta-bug' was bad...
“Woooooow,” I chuckle when parking next to him,“I'm dating you and I would -
never- call you something that disgustingly cute. Yuck!” The shock on Aoyagi's
face washes away and changes into a delighted smirk, rounded cheeks flared with
red.
“... I like it.”
 
---
 
Once we return home, there's the task of locating clothing suitable to wear.
Thinking we'd be receiving new jerseys, we didn't think to purchase a better
fitting set. Our old ones from highschool barely cover our more toned and
muscular forms, especially on Aoyagi. His torso has grown so much that his
familiar blue jersey doesn't suffice. It's uncomfortable just seeing him
wearing it... thin material tight in every place. His cycling shorts aren't
better, the elastic bands seeming like they're going to snap around those thick
thighs. Looks like there's another thing to add to our shopping list besides
swimwear.
Although, during this time of dress up, Aoyagi comes to the conclusion that he
should working on the painting at the shop instead. Apparently he already has
an idea for what should cover the gigantic wall and wants to start sketching
before the thought fades. Can always come up with concepts at home on paper,
but he'd rather be in front of the canvas to adjust the scale and fit it to the
thoughts. His artwork comes before cycling, much like myself when it comes to
singing practice. I'm not going to force him along, a commission is far above a
causal ride through the country side. After changing into the simple apparel
that is an old t-shirt and cargo shorts, we head back outside and part ways
once we're at the front. The roads are nearly empty, even at this hour of the
afternoon, so it makes the perfect cycling scenario. Flat stretches that extend
into the hills of the north... it's perfect. Once Aoyagi is out of eye shot, K
arrives on that stylish bicycle.
“Huh? Where is he going?” he questions when adjusting the straps on his helmet.
It matches the deep reds of the details on the Fuji, his cycling clothing as
well. Red and black. To think he already looks like a professional cyclist, a
pair of crimson shades are placed over his green eyes.
What an elite.
“He wanted to work on his current project. Guessing 'Princess' told you about
it, yeah?”
“... yeah...” The single word is hesitated, which makes me perk a brow. K snaps
his cleats into place and immediately starts pedaling forward at a high speed,
myself following along. Why'd he take off like that? Shaking away the minor
things, I keep close and soak in the beautiful view of the country. Not often
I've rode this far out of the city... Fields of vegetables past by as we ride
into the literal middle of nowhere. Only a few minutes at a decent speed and I
already feel lost? Glad K is showing me the area. Otherwise I'd be helpless.
Everything looks the same out here, just dirt roads and crops. Unsure why he
took me down this path instead of the obvious highway, but this is just one of
the routes. A little excited to see the rest actually.
This is my first time seeing K cycle as well. His large form reminds me a lot
of Doubashi or Koga, large shoulders cutting through the wind with ease. We
stay at a slow pace on the flat, makeshift road; a speed suitable for a gentle
stroll. Could easily go faster, especially with my lack of cycling these two
weeks before class, but I just keep things like this to just learn the course.
But... one thing is bugging me.
He's silent.
K is the type to talk up a storm, but a single word hasn't been said since we
took off a handful of minutes ago. Not like I said anything either... but it's
still confusing. Perhaps he's a different person when cycling? Guess I'll test
the waters. Shifting a gear up, I pull up next to him and offer a cheeky grin.
“Man, this place is beautiful! You've rode out here since you moved to the
College? Little envious! The city roads are leveled and less bumpy, but the
solitude is-”
“Teshima-kun... can we pull over?” K cuts off in a stern tone. My eyes round
out. 'Teshima-kun?' He never called me that before. Seeing as he sounded
serious, my brakes are pressed and I come to complete halt. K drifts a few feet
ahead then takes a sharp turn around, his front wheel touching mine when he
comes to a stop as well. His sunglasses are slide off and tucked into the back
pocket, those gentle eyes narrowed straight at me.
“Something up? You don't seem like you normal self, K...” I say with a weak
chuckle to maybe lighten the sudden tension in the air. What the hell is going
on? Did something happen?
“Sorry... I just can't keep a secret. It's not in my nature, Princess should
know that by now. Fucking idiot.” Wiping the sweat from his brow on a forearm,
my neighbor's expression falls to anxiety; thin lips straightened and eye
contact broken. K... what the hell? A secret?
“Does this... involve me in some way or is it... something more personal with
you?”
“It does involve you... I'm just trying to put this...- I'm just trying not to
hurt too much with what I'm about the say.” … 'hurt me?' I cant my head to the
side and wait for him to continue, his teeth now snapped together in
frustration. This is really bothering him... Instead of pushing for
information, I silently stare back. “You see... uh, well... you see, you know
when Yoshi dragged Aoyagi-kun to the coffee shop last Friday?” Yoshi, huh? So
he does call Shimizu by his first name when he's talking seriously.
“Yeah, that's when Hajime got that commission. That was very kind to set that
up for him.”
“It was kind, but something... else happened. … Man! I don't wanna hurt you
right now, kid!” He covers his face with a hand and groans, obviously upset.
That statement makes my heart leap into my throat. Something else... what the
hell?
“K... what happened? Please, you can tell-”
 
“Yoshi kissed your man, alright?!”
 
What...?
 
“Well... according to him, Aoyagi-kun kissed him first. I don't fucking know...
I can't see Aoyagi-kun doing that, but it seemed Yoshi was telling the truth.”
And? How should this offend me?
“Hajime kisses people on the cheek or forehead all the time, it's a way he
shows affection and thanks - if you didn't know. … but... he only does that
with close friends though.” Why would he kiss Shimizu? He's pretty much still a
stranger, more an acquaintance. This doesn't make sense.
“That's the thing... it was on the lips and Yoshi... kissed back. Like, full
on. Aoyagi-kun didn't stop him either.”
 
…
 
He's joking... right?
***** Oh man, there's something going on... *****
Chapter Summary
     (( Bahahaha, I have no idea what I'm writing now. Guess that's what
     makes it fun. And painful. Why am I hurting T2? TT~TT ))
This has to be a joke! Aoyagi... he wouldn't do such a thing!
My gaze breaks from my neighbor to stare silently at the ground, the sound of
my heartbeat and chirping bugs filling my ears. Even with the sun beating down
on my back, there's a chill down my spine. Is that the reason why those two
connected so easily? Does... Aoyagi like him? Is he cheating on me...? The mere
thought makes me bite hard onto my lower lip and growl under my breath; hands
tight around the brackets. He wouldn't do that to me... right?
“Teshima-kun... I'm sorry, but that's what I heard. Yoshi was so enthralled, he
kinda just blurted it out to me like it was nothing.” I hear K let off another
sigh of defeat. “He was just so happy about it.”
“... that means he likes Hajime, huh...?” I mumble back. Like he needed another
to be infatuated with him, Kaburagi was already enough.
“Actually, I was surprised how he reacted. Didn't know he was into Aoyagi-
kun... men to boot actually! Yoshi is such a shut in, he hasn't dated at all;
or even had a girl over. I'm just as confused as you are...” This happened a
few days ago... and Aoyagi didn't bring it up. Is he the one holding back
secrets now? I clamp harder onto my lower lip, the slight taste of blood
filling my mouth. Did this actually mean anything or am I just overreacting?
Right now, I'm just fill with rage. You don't just kiss someone out of the blue
like this... My thoughts are interrupted when my neighbor clears his throat.
“Look, this could be all a misunderstanding!”
“That's what I'm hoping...” I respond promptly, “You know the way to the coffee
shop? I need to talk to Hajime.” Without another word, K answers with a nod and
slides the sunglasses back on. He gestures a 'follow me' motion with a finger
after turning and continuing down the empty path; myself again tailing his rear
tire. Although, this time the pace is ramped – speed easily doubling. He
understands that this could be potentially serious, so I appreciate the quick
change.
Hajime... why? I need an explanation.
Now.
 
---
 
Being so far out in the country side, I assume the distance is lengthened than
a straight shot from the school. It shouldn't matter, don't think Hajime would
leave only after an hour or so. Once reaching the town square, K pulls off to
the sidewalk and comes to a stop. After breaking myself, he juts a finger
across the circle shaped road to point out the establishment. It's easy to
distinguish from the other buildings due to the brighter, cheery colors and
furniture parked outside. A normal setup for a small business cafe.
“I'll wait around here just in case you leave without Aoyagi-kun. Wouldn't want
ya getting' lost on the way home,” he grumbles when pushing the shades away.
“Good luck, kid. I seriously hope I misheard Yoshi, or he was just lying.”
“Thanks, I'm in that boat too,” I sigh out and slowly ride the short distance
over. Most the anger I had before has faded, now settling on confusion and
wishing for an explanation. Now matter how it happened, I'll still feel
betrayed. Just a gut feeling. Still, I need to keep levelheaded and control
this like a proper adult, don't go crazy over this Junta.
You can handle this...
To my relief, I spot Aoyagi's Corratec parked on the right side of the
building. Good, he didn't leave yet. After locking mine up nearby and hanging
my helmet on the bars, I head over to the front doors and take in a deep
breath. Peeking in through the glass, I spot my partner at the front counter;
presuming he's paying for a drink or talking with the owners. And there's... a
figure standing next to him. Would be difficult to tell who when looking at his
back, but that straight posture, school uniform and faded blue hair tells me
straight away.
“Shimizu...” I growl under my breath. My muscles immediately tense up and my
heartbeat again rises. I can't believe Aoyagi would kiss a stuck-up brat like
him! Or even be his friend! He's just a pompous elite who probably bribes the
teachers for his grades. Money buys everything... I wouldn't be surprised if
that's the case. This jealously... fuck!! All the rage from before again boils
in my veins just from seeing him. Just to piss me off further, a hand of his
rests on Aoyagi's shoulder and both move like they're letting out a laugh. My
hands ball tight into fists. Don't you... touch him! The urge to just bust in
is interrupted when Shimizu turns around and heads my direction. Out of
instinct, I step out of eye shot and causally lean against the brick wall; like
I'm simply waiting instead of stalking. I must look a creep right now. Once he
exits, he easily spots me and offers a gentle smile.
“Afternoon, Teshima-kun,” he says in that normal polite tone with a push of his
glasses. Arrogant prick.
“Shimizu...” I grumble back, my discomfort apparent in my voice. It's hard to
hold back my anger at this point. “Come to checkup on Hajime?”
“Ah, no. Monday is just one of the days I stop by to grab a coffee, he just
happened to be here. Come to get one yourself?” Tch, like I'd drink that shit.
“You could say that...” Gods, I can't even look at him! After breaking eye
contact to control my urges to just outright punch him, he hums softly.
“I-I see... well, do have a good day then. I must return to my studies.” Can
assume he gives a bow before stepping off in the opposite direction; my gaze
returning. Not much distance away, I see him hop into the saddle of the
mentioned motorcycle Aoyagi claimed he rides. He wasn't lying, this bastard
does own one. Showoff. Before he's able to take off, the glass door swings open
and Aoyagi steps out with a puzzled expression.
“Junta...?” He must have saw Shimizu talking to someone and wanted to check who
it was? Well, he's right here... better now than never.
“Hey Hajime,” I say calm-like, “I wanted to talk to you about something. Would
have called, but it's better to do this face-to-face. You have time?” His head
cants to the side, clearly confused on what the topic would be. He nods to
reply. “Privately, please.” I sigh deep when returning to the far side of the
building towards our bike, the alleyway otherwise completely empty. The
familiar chill of goosebumps develops on my arms when facing him, his hands
stuffed into the pockets of his sweater. He waits, letting me continue the
conversation. “Okay... hear me out. This could all just be a lie or
misunderstanding, so don't get offended if it is that.” I weave my misplaced
tufts of hair away and lock eye contact; frustration probably written all over
my face. My heart uncomfortably beats hard in my heavy feeling chest during
this pause to muster my words; Aoyagi now looking impatient by his stance.
Ridding the lump in my throat, I again sigh and say clearly, “Did you kiss
Shimizu?”
“... eh?!” The noise of shock erupts from him in an instant and eyes widen out.
He really wasn't expecting that line. Otherwise, he sticks to his normal silent
self and I catch wind at the response.
“I heard it from K. It's a lie, right? Is he just messing with me?” The answer
is clear when my partner nibbles slightly at his lower lip, the look of being
catch plastered over his face. “It's not... huh?” Taking a heavy breath to
attempt to calm my shots nerves, he looks away and mumbles something that I
couldn't hear. “Speak up, please...”
“It was... an accident,” he says weakly. … really now?
“Right, an accident...” I respond sarcastically, “That doesn't happen by
accident, Hajime. Is that best excuse you can come up with?” What the hell? Is
he lying to my face? Is this revenge for keeping my smoking habit a secret for
so long?
“Why don't you believe me?”
“Because it's bullshit.”
“It's the truth.” He looks back to me with brows knitted and teeth snapped
together. He's getting angry? I'm the one that should be angry!
“I don't believe you!”
“I overreacted, ok?!” he snaps back in defense, “It didn't mean anything!” He
then turns to completely avoid eye contact and head sinks between his
shoulders. Is that really the truth? I... still don't believe it.
“Okay, okay,” I sigh in defeat, “If that's what you're going to stick to, then
fine. Guess it was just a fucking accident.” Fed up with the argument, I turn
my attention towards my bike. I got what I wanted, an answer. Doubts linger in
the back of my mind that I'm the wrong party, but with how he's been lately, he
has to be lying. It had to be for a better reason than that shitty excuse. Once
unlocked, I snap on my helmet and look back to my partner; back now fully
facing me. Ignoring me now? “Tch, whatever. Just go back to work... come home
when you actually want to be honest with me.” Without glancing back, I swiftly
ride back to the location from before and meet up with my waiting neighbor.
Goddammit Hajime...
K's cheery smile diminishes when I pull up close, my expression doing the
talking. Know I'm showing every ounce of rage by face and body language which
prompts K to just start riding down the stretch of road and eventually reaching
the highway. My head is hung the entire time, the only thing keeping me from
getting lost is the back tire of K's bike. Could take this opportunity to learn
the route to town, but right now... I couldn't care less. My mind is too
focused on what happened. Is that all? Just by mistake he kissed him? Who
reacts like that... he had to be joyous over the commission, but to kiss him in
thanks? That's ridiculous! It had to mean something... know those two have been
pretty buddy-buddy ever since they started playing games together. … maybe I'm
thinking too hard about this. Hajime wouldn't cheat on me. Or maybe...
I'm not enough for him.
 
---
 
Not paying attention to the passing of time, we arrive at the school far
quicker then I initially believed it would take. Was so lost in thought, the
maybe hour that it look only felt like a few minutes. I don't feel exhausted
either, my legs feel extremely light and full of energy. If K said anything, I
wouldn't have heard him either. I finally glance back up when K begins to slow
down, the dorms within sight. The awkwardness that is the situation finally
sinks in. Gods... way to express your emotions there, Junta. Not a single
goddamn word this whole trip. K must think I'm an emotionless tool or a tense
thread he doesn't want to snap. Even with the strangeness of it all, he does
the polite thing of parking in front of my dorm. I pull over at the side and
lock my bike to a nearby post of the fence and look back over. It feels like he
wants to say something, but unsure what.
“Hey... thanks for taking me out there,” I say to perhaps break the ice.
“No problem kid,” he responds with a dim smile, “... you want me to hang around
until Aoyagi-kun comes back?” Most, if all, my anger has faded, but sadness
quickly took its place. Company is the last thing I want right now.
“Thanks for the offer, but I'd rather be alone now.”
“It's cool, just...” His voice fades off for a moment. I know what he's going
to say, it's the obvious thing to say in a situation like this. “... sorry.
Hope things turn out for the better.” Bingo, right on the nose.
“It was just an argument. It won't break us so easily, don't worry.” I manage
to find a smile. “Catch ya tomorrow, yeah?” He simply gives his trademark
'thumbs up' pose and starts pedaling away. Now with having alone time, I know
the first thing I want. Stepping inside, I head into the bedroom to grab my
not-so-hidden pack of cigarettes and lighter. There's no question, I need a
smoke. Badly. Before returning back outside, I peer inside the fridge to find
something to quench the dryness in my throat. I'm such a moron for not bringing
my water bottle along for the ride. Pushing a few items to the side, I find a
few beers stashed far in the back. Thought we got rid of these... but I'm not
going to complain. A little drink to relax doesn't sound half bad either.
Snatching one up, I make myself comfortable on the outdoor swing chair and lit
one up; the lovely feeling of smoke in my lungs taking over. The warm afternoon
wind, a fresh cigarette and beer, solitude... it's perfect.
 
---
 
Two beers down and there's just the right amount of buzz to put my mind at
ease, the time spent listening to my favorite cds and jamming out. The best
thing about living out here is the fact I can blast music without getting in
trouble. Hope the local wildlife likes Jpop. Flopped against the couch, my
fogged gaze is up at the ceiling. No more troubles... can just forget about
today and drift into the contentment of music. I would, but for some reason,
the room suddenly goes silent. Hrm? Don't tell me it broke or shut down on me.
Looking over towards the computer, Aoyagi is standing nearby with a stern look
upon his sweaty face. Whoops. Was so loud, didn't hear him come in.
“Welcome back, Hajime. Sorry about that...” I chuckle weakly and collapse back
to the cushions. Was really blasting it... my ears are ringing. After he tosses
his keys to the kitchen counter and hangs up his sweater, he takes a seat on
the empty space of the couch and continues to stare me down. “... what? You
still angry? I'm not anymore.” Granted, I'm still annoyed, but I don't want to
cause more confrontation.
“Yes you are,” he says in an agitated tone. Ugh, is he trying to start
something?
“Ok, I am. So what? It was an accident, right? Guess I just have to accept
that,” I growl back when sitting up. I snatch up the third beer I placed side
earlier and crack it open; Aoyagi's expression changing to show his discomfort.
Have a problem? “I wanted to relax... don't give me that look. It's just a few
beers.”
“K's been a horrible influence on you.” He did not just say that...!
“Can say the same about you and Shimizu.” I perk a brow high and take down a
large swig. Yup, still tastes awful. Should have checked if there was any
spirits before deciding on this garbage excuse for a drink.
“Sorry for making a friend who appreciates my skills and taste in art.” Sarcasm
now?
“Uh huh. From what I've seen and heard, he's just trying to get in your pants
with his suave words.” After sip is taken and the beer is placed aside, gazes
now locked. Can feel a pressure coming off him... he's getting angrier by the
second. I am too. “And by that kiss, I don't think you'd mind that. What, you
intend to ask for a threeway with him too?”
“... Junta...” he simply snarls. Now I'm really pushing his buttons.
“Just speaking my mind, that such a crime? Happened right after the thing with
Kaburagi too... what the hell Hajime? Am I not enough for you? Do I not satisfy
you?”
“Don't say that... of course you're enough for me.” He attempts to place atop
my shoulder, but I lean off to the side to avoid it. Like I want to be touched
right now.
“Well, it doesn't seem like I am. Can see why... I'm just average after all.
Doesn't help if feels like you keep wanting more and more from me and other
people. Are you not taking our relationship seriously?”
“J-Junta...” A hand cups over his face to muffle a sniffle. Oh come on, I don't
want to make him cry, but that's how I feel. Ever since we've moved and started
dating, he's been... different. Needing more affection and attention.
Understand that we have the peace of having our own home, but he needs to learn
how to control himself. It's becoming a burden, especially when he shows it on
other people. I don't find the shit he does with Kaburagi cute anymore... it's
starting to piss me off. “I'll say it again... it was an accident.” Not this
again...
“Yeah, whatever. I don't go around kissing people when I'm happy, just saying.”
Gods, this is giving me headache. Maybe it's just my buzz fading. Seeing as
he's mute for the time being, I take this opportunity to chug down more of the
drink. Believe the small amount of intoxication is making my words flow easier,
which is fine. I'm being completely honest, even if it's hurting him. I hate to
see him this way, but the truth has to come eventually. “Look, that couldn't
have been-”
“Why don't you believe me?!” he abruptly shouts, “I'm telling the truth!” He
lowers the hand to stare directly at me, those bright blue eyes hazed with
tears. … the amount of guilt on his face right now. I'm taken aback by how much
emotion he's showing so openly through his expression, he isn't like this
normally. Unlike the party night, alcohol isn't being an influence. He's...
being honest. Fuck, why didn't I see it before?
“... I-I... shit, Hajime...” I again place the beer aside with my lower lip
bitten. God, I feel like an ass. I should have caught on earlier. Jealously was
jumbling my thoughts and denying that could be the explanation. Sounds
ridiculous, but I have to think of being in his shoes. Getting news of
something that could be potentially life changing. It's not just for the money,
but recognition. Aoyagi has always shot himself down over his artwork, thinking
he was just an amateur with no talent, but to have people who actually
appreciate it... hell, want it displayed... I wouldn't know how to react. I'd
be a mess, probably rambling and stumbling over words. With Aoyagi not being
much of a talker, I can see why he'd let his body speak. A kiss is a bit
overboard in my eyes, but... I get it. I can see now. “Sorry, I should-”
“-Now- you believe me?” he interrupts. Rude.
“Just let me finish my sentence...” He looks away and wipes away a fallen tear
with a palm, head bobbing in a nod. “I do... at least, now I do. I can see how
much you regret it. But, I saw you with Shimizu before you found me.”
“We were just talking... and he regrets it too. He hasn't gotten in a kiss in
so long that he didn't think about me being taken. Although, he does like me...
in a way a student loves a mentor. My work gives him inspiration, he looks up
to me as K looks up to you as a cyclist.” With a scoff, I retrieve my beer and
chugs down the remains. So he does have a crush on Aoyagi... a minor one, but
it could easily escalate.
“I see. Still... you kissed him, regardless of why, I'm hurt by this. Hajime...
you need to understand that we're together. I'm going to care if you randomly
kiss people... what if you heard I did the same thing?”
“... I'd be upset.”
“See? Now... let's just try to leave this behind us now, ok?” Forcing a smile,
I stand to my feet and clean up the emptied cans. I toss them off into the
recyclables and start fishing out another drink, but I stop when I hear
Aoyagi's voice pick up.
“Junta... you don't trust me, do you?” My heart leaps into my throat from the
simple question. Gulping roughly, I close the fridge and walk into his field of
vision; those built up tears streaming down his cheeks. Fuck... well, this is
going to end bad.
“Truthfully, as of right now, I don't.” His head then hangs, long bangs veiling
his face. Figured that would be the only reaction, but he suddenly gets up and
stomps off into the other room. I was just being honest, must be hard to handle
the truth though. Have a feeling I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. This
isn't going to be resolved in one night, probably a few days. I rub hard onto a
temple to maybe sooth the pounding in my head. Goddammit... what the hell do I
do? Comfort him? Try to talk this over while both of us are in shambles? My
thoughts are ceased when Aoyagi comes back out to swiftly snatch his keys off
the counter and saunter towards the front door. “Hajime...?”
“I'm going out,” he grumbles with hand around the doorknob.
“Why? Do you think running away is going to make me trust you?” That icy glare
is back on me, thin lips turned to a scowl. Shit, I didn't mean to put it that
way. “Sorry, I just want you to stay!”
“Why?” he mocks back in my worried tone, “Why should I be around someone who
doesn't trust me and makes me feel like nothing but a pervert?” What?!
“I said nothing like that!” I take a few steps forward to shorten the distance,
but this causes him to swing the door open. “Please wait! That wasn't what I
was trying to get across!” What the hell? Why is he being so touchy over this?
He peers over a shoulder and gives a shake of the head.
“... really Junta? From what you said, that's what you were trying to say.
Thanks.” I was just mad, I didn't mean half those words! I over-...
overreacted. … shit. I'm unable to say anything in defense seeing as the door
is slammed shut behind him, enough to make the hung items rattle against the
walls. A hard thud fills the room, making my head snap in the direction. One of
Hajime's... no, one of -our- trophies tipped over atop the shelf.
 
'A team of two,' that's what I called us as first years...
 
Maybe it should have stayed that way.
 
Just a team...
***** Oh man, how dare I...? *****
Chapter Summary
     (( *slams head to keyboard* ))
     (( Aoyagi's PoV~ ))
Junta... how could you...
I didn't stop for second when unlocking my bike and taking it outside the
school limits, thoughts screaming to get away. My vision is blurred when riding
down the straight of the long highway leading towards our home city, tall
buildings far off in the distance. Why am I going out here? Where do I intend
on going? Nowhere. This is all fruitless, yet I don't have the courage to turn
around. I want to keep cycling forever in this silence. But... at the same
time, I don't. I want to be comfortable... I want to be around someone who
understands me. It's clear Junta doesn't want me now, I'm just a untrustworthy
burden to him. A jealous, unforgiving person even after realizing how stupid he
was? Wonder if these are Junta's true colors... someone painted in envy and
spits hurtful words like water flows. To top it all off, having alcohol this
time of day just because he got upset? How pitiful. He's just as much of an
emotional wreck as I am, just at a different level.
Fine, I'll let him drink and wallow in his anguish and defeat... let it really
soak in of how heartless he is.
It was just a damn kiss!!
My tears are wiped away on a glove and my cadence increases, the fields of the
country zooming pass my sights. At this rate, I'll be in city within another
hour. I've been out here for this long already? Time seems to be passing so
quickly. A break there would sure feel welcomed. Could always visit home and
see my dog... do miss her. Sadly our school doesn't allow animals inside our
dorms, so my parents have the weight of taking over the responsibilities until
my Collage life concludes. Although, I don't want to confront my parents and
explain why I'm there. Not like I want to embarrass myself in front of
Tadokoro-san again either, so I'm out of options.
Actually, a certain 'idiot' should be out of school.
 
---
 
Once in the cities' limits, it takes me a while to remember the location of
Kaburagi's home. Never been inside, but I've rode with him there a handful of
times. My memory of the building returns once passing an intersection near my
old school. It's nostalgic to ride through these parts, even with just three
weeks of being away. Already homesick? Perhaps... or I just find comfort on
these familiar roads.
My thoughts are correct when I pull up to the small house and see his Felt
locked up on the small set of stairs. Seeing that alone brings a smile to my
face. Kaburagi was always one to get on my nerves, but also cheer me up when
I'm at my lowest. I'm really excited to see him actually, more than I probably
should be. Parking mine close by, I step up and give a firm knock to the door.
Sure hope he's here, otherwise this will be awkward. To my relief, he's the one
to answer.
“Hel- … Aoyagi-san...? Huuuuuuh?!” he blurts with jaw hung. I hold a smile, but
it quickly falls once seeing his attire. A tight tanktop and short-shorts... to
think that was bad enough, brightly colored – orange knee-high socks are there
too. Is this his normal outfit when at home? Not like I have much of a fashion
sense, but it looks atrocious! And revealing! “... you going to say anything or
are you awestruck by how awesome I look~?” Already boasting over nothing... for
some reason, hearing that immediately brings tears back into my bloodshot eyes
and I snatch him up into a tight hug. My face buries into a shoulder and body
shudders against him. To see a friendly face... I'm so relieved. “H-hey...
what's going on?” He warmly runs a hand up and down my back. My fingers dig
into his clothing and my cries rise, the emotions of the day let free.
“J-Junta...” I weakly say in reply.
“Teshima-san...?” His hands then grip my shoulders to pull me off – just enough
so our eyes meet. “Did he do something to you?!” Panic sets in his face,
crimson eyes wide as dinner plates. “What happened?!” I again attempt to talk,
but all that comes is a choking noise. I can't find the words... how do I
explain this? “I-It's alright! Here, come in and we'll talk.” He releases me
and gives the needed room for me to step in and carelessly kick off my shoes.
In my- and his- normal fashion, he gingerly holds one of my hands and leads me
upstairs and to his room. The awareness of my surroundings doesn't kick in
until I'm inside the tiny bedroom, it being a more tidy than expected. Twin
sized bed is prim and proper and not a single item is littered on the flat
carpet. I'm impressed. “Sorry if it's still a little messy... today was my
cleaning day.” Never mind, I just caught it at a good time. He gives a
comforting smile when seating himself on the edge of the bed, a hand patting an
open space. “You come tell ol' Issa what's going on... you're safe here.”
Nodding, I accept the offer and plop down next to him. After slipping off my
cycling gloves and helmet, I wipe away the wetness on my face. I'm sweating
buckets. “You must be exhausted though... must have been a rough ride. You stay
there, I'll get you towel and something to drink.” There's no time to protest,
he immediately shimmies back out the door on the fetch quest. This gives time
for me to hopefully calm down, eyes scanning the room further.
It's quite cozy and typical of a teenager, cycling posters and books in every
direction. One thing I find odd is a string of lights around the walls. Odd
decorations, but I'm not going to judge. A laptop is opened on the tiny desk at
the far corner, a music player up and paused. Must have had the sound at a
tolerate volume seeing as he heard the knock. Unlike Junta... I snarl under my
breath from the thought. Was something that always annoyed me, the habit to
blare music that is. It isn't necessary. A medium sized glass container is
nearby, twigs and moist soil seen. Must be a pet beetle. Wonder if they're good
pets. Kaburagi returns within a few seconds and hands over a dampened washcloth
and yellow colored bottle of liquid.
“Didn't know what you wanted, so I grabbed that. It's a new flavor of my
favorite drink!” He holds a fresh bottle of the said soft drink with a bright
smile. “Orange Beena will forever be my choice, but that one isn't bad.” I wipe
down my forehead when examining it, a brow perked. Lemon Beena, huh? “Would
find it cool if you liked it. I mean, I got the orange hair and Orange Beena
and you can have yellow hair and Lemon Beena!” He chuckles when returning to
the seat, clearly trying to lighten the mood. It works, I'm smiling again.
“Thank you.” Cracking it open and sampling, it isn't half bad. Not much for
sugary drinks, but it's passable thanks to the sourness also present. “Not
bad.”
“Heh, I'm happy to hear. Really, if you want some water, I can get that.”
“This is fine.” After turning to face him, he reaches up to wipe away a droplet
of sweat from my cheek with a thumb. Worry overtakes his once cheery
expression.
“I'm the cry baby here... something must have hurt you to come running to me of
all people. Please tell me what happened.” Issa... you really do care. That's
when I let the story out with every detail, first starting with the thing that
started the whole argument. That damned kiss. I should have just told Junta
right away, this probably would have turned out better then. I was afraid
something like this would happen, but not to this degree. Kaburagi is unlike
his normal self as I ramble away, being silent and looking like he's actually
paying attention. I do appreciate when he listens... hell, I appreciate him in
general. Once mentioning Junta's accusations of my intentions with Shimizu, –
which are obviously ridiculous and wrong - Kaburagi's jaw again hangs.
“Waitwaitwait!” he finally interrupts with a hand waving about, “You're telling
me that Teshima-san believes you want to fuck him just from a smooch?” I firmly
clutch my bottle with a slow bob of the head. I can't believe it either. Would
say it was the booze talking, but it wasn't. It was jealousy. Perhaps
overreacting on his end like myself, yet for Junta to simply think of such a
thing pisses me off. Does he find me that easy? “Ok... just making sure I heard
you right. What the hell, that's so messed up! Is this after he realized he was
wrong?”
“I'm getting to that.” He goes quiet and sips on the drink as I finish up the
story swiftly; there's not much left. Once ended, he slowly shakes his head in
disbelief.
“Not trusting you... that's cruel. Can see why he got jealous, but he saw how
sorry you were! Teshima-san can be mean... but not this level! Has he ever
talked to you like this before?”
“No, he hasn't.” I know Junta's personality like the back of hand, yet he was
able to astound me. There's a long pause of silence, both of us coming to terms
with what happened. He's hurt, I'm hurt; simple as that. Both of us have
regrets of our actions, and somehow, we have to resolve it. But for now, I
can't face Junta. How can I after what was said? That mixture of aggravation
and despair unfortunately returns upon reflecting, hands beginning to tremble.
“Aoyagi-san...” Kaburagi's voice is shaking. Peering over, those wide eyes are
hazed over with tears. Why is he crying ? “Do you want a hug, because I sure
do...” Without a second thought, I place my drink to the ground and embrace
him. Overemotional idiot... I should be the one crying. “Could this have
started... thanks to me? If I wasn't a doofus and started liking you, Teshima-
san wouldn't be jealous. He could just have you and not have to worry other
people.” Please don't put this on yourself again. You aren't to blame for any
of this. “He must hate me... you must hate me too.”
“Issa... don't say that. I don't hate you...” To bring some comfort, I stroke
lovingly through his spiked locks; his arms tightening around my back. “You
haven't done anything. You've done nothing but help.” Bright eyes look back to
me with a strained smile.
“But...!-”
“But nothing. Shush now, you're going to make me break down again with these
tears.” I mirror his actions from earlier, a thumb rubbing at a cheek to catch
the fallen drops. Gods, I don't want to imagine what Junta's face would look
like if he saw me right at this moment. Even if it's just comforting each
other, can see him getting into a hissy fit now. He's -too- enviousness over a
simple mistake, enough to make me feel uncomfortable. But he's right about one
thing... we're officially together. I should be taking his emotions into
consideration with my actions.
“S-sorry... everything kinda hit me at once.” He huffs out and peels away, an
awkward grin replacing the frown. “I should be the one caring for you. Some
kind of host I am...” I don't mind, it's nice to let out all these pent up
emotions; even if unwarranted. He peers over towards the clock on the
nightstand and gasps in surprise. “Wow, it's this late already.” Can't blame
him for shifting in topic, I want it too. “Parents should be home from work
soon. Not like that matters, but if you want to stay for dinner, I'd like to
warn I have a guest over.” The three to four hour bike ride will be hell if it
gets dark, but I don't want to go back yet. I'm happy here...
“I can stay for a little longer, if it's alright with your folks.”
 
---
 
His parents were more than happy to have me over seeing as they haven't met me
yet. Apparently, Kaburagi has rambled about me before about how great of a
tutor and cyclist I am. Frankly, I'm gushing. This kid started by treating me
as a lower classman, and now he looks up to me like I'm an older brother. Or in
this case, a love interest. Both of them are kind, easily accepting my silent
personality and offering seconds of rice when Kaburagi brings up my appetite
and long bike ride here. His father even offered a car ride back, but I
declined. A cycle in the dark of night may be nice, if a little rough.
Although, that's when his mother speaks while cleaning up.
“Well Issa, he can stay the night if you promise to get your homework done and
go to school tomorrow.”
“Huuuuh? I'm never allowed to have friends over during the weekdays!”
“It's Aoyagi-kun's first time here, consider it a treat!”
“Mom, you are soooooo awesome right now!!” Kaburagi springs up from his seat
and beams. “What do you say, Aoyag-san? Wanna stay the night?” The answer is
easy, of course I do. Granted, I have to wake up -way- early to get to my class
in time, but a night away from home sounds perfect. Gives myself and Junta time
to think things over. I nod in response. “Ohhhh, what should we do? Play games?
Watch movies?”
“Issa, homework first,” his father chirps in.
“Right, of course. Got math homework today... bleh.” His tongue sticks out to
emphasize his distaste. How childish, but it's sort of charming. Definitely a
strange personality and it's beginning to grow on me.
“I can help,” I offer when pushing in my seat. Those large eyes seem to sparkle
with excitement.
“Woohoo! Come on, the faster we get it done, they faster we get to do fun
stuff!” With a goofy grin, the excited red-head bounces up the stairs and
returns to his room; myself following along. Tonight looks promising for some
relaxation and fun, something already needed. To think, this was only the first
day of College, just what else can go wrong down the line? “Oh, need to take a
piss first. And get some more drinks!” He tosses his backpack to the bed and
slides pass me by the door frame. “You want another Lemon Beena?”
“Sure,” I simply reply and he enters the washroom across the hall. May as well
take this time to text Junta and tell him what's going on. After seating
myself, I pull out my phone from a side pocket and flip it open. Glad I charged
it before leaving for school earlier, the battery is almost full. Curiously
enough, Junta has yet to send me anything. I've been gone for hours... why
didn't he try to contact me? Shaking my head, I open a new message. He may be
too drunk or depressed to read my normal messages clearly, so I actually type
out the situation in full words. He's not going to like this at all, yet I
couldn't give a damn right now. Sending it off, I silently wait to see if he
sends one back. A few minutes roll by and Kaburagi returns with the said
drinks, still nothing from my partner. Shrugging it off, I make myself
comfortable on the bed with my friend and engage in the mundane activity of
homework. Forgot how easy math was during my first-year, but of course, Junta
tutored me. I'm not the best at this either. My attention draws away when a
figure is standing at the crack of the door.
“Issa, me and your father are going out shopping for a while. That homework
better be done by the time we return~.”
“I promise! Make sure to get more Orange Beena, please!” With being on his
stomach, he kicks his legs playfully against the surface with a bright grin.
“Of course, wouldn't forget it! Seeing as you have a friend over, I'll make
sure to pick up some snacks too.” His mother gives a gentle, loving smile and
closes off the door.
“Told ya my mom was cool~.”
“She sure is. We're almost done too.”
“Yeah and it's all thanks to you!” The tougher equations were breezed through
thanks to my knowledge and past study, but I didn't outright give him the
solutions. Just step-by-step instructions like a teacher would. Again, he's
listening to me. Perhaps his behavior permanently changed ever since what
happened during the Sprinter's Dash and the events of the past weeks. It's a
great change. “Aha! Think I get it now! Lemme do this last one on my own. No
help!” With a proud smirk, I watch him start filling it out like it's nothing.
He really is learning. My eyes seem to wonder on their own to his still kicking
feet, slender legs filling out those stockings well. How muscular he already
became. Although, he really shouldn't be wearing these shorts... they're
distracting. Maybe I am just a pervert... and maybe Junta really isn't enough
for me. Why am I thinking this? I have the person I love with all my heart! Yet
why... do I feel like something's missing? “Whatcha' startin' at?” My head
snaps back to his face. For once, I was the one gawking.
“Eh? Oh... nothing. You done?”
“Yup~! No need checking, a genius like me figured it out!” He boastfully laughs
when tucking the sheets of paper away. “Man, that would have took me -hours- if
you weren't here. Thanks again~.” I just smile in return. Wasn't a problem at
all. “Buuuuut, now what? You're the guest here, so you decide!” If anything, I
want a shower. All that high powered cycling was hard on my legs and my sweat
is a different story. Kind of rude to ask though. “You must be tired from
earlier. How about you jump in the bath? That will really make you feel
better!” …! Can he read my thoughts too or was that a lucky guess? “Need to
take one myself, why I brought it up. I'll let you go first if you want... you
know, older one has first dibs!” That explains it.
“Would love to.”
“Ok, then let me find some fresh clothes. Wouldn't want you sleeping in dirty,
sweaty clothes!” He leaps off the bed and starts rummaging through the small
closet; miscellaneous pieces flying off to the side and behind him. Spazz.
“You don't have to...” I'm fine like this.
“Nope! You let me borrow stuff when I stayed over, so it's only polite to do
the same back. We're around the same waist size, which helps tons.”
He makes me feel some welcomed and loved... reminds me of Junta.
 
---
 
Not wanting to take much time, my bathroom break is brief. Feels strange enough
using another household's shower in the first place. When returning to the
room, the articles of clothing are laid atop the bed; a pair of loose athletic
shorts and a simple, plain t-shirt. Good, I won't have to share his fashion
tastes. As for Kaburagi, he's busy by the aquarium like tank with a spray
bottle in hand.
“There you go, Dai-kun. All nice and wet for you~,” he cutesy talks to the
large stag beetle atop a branch. “I'll give you your jelly after I bathe,
alright~?” He places the bottle down and turns back on his heels; embarrassment
coming to his face. “O-oh! Back already!” He scratches the back of head with an
uncomfortable chuckle.
“Nice name,” I comment when gathering the clothing.
“You think? He's my big man, raised him from a larva too! I'll let you feed him
when I come back!” I nod back in approval. Never seen a beetle eat before,
might be interesting. “I'll make my shower quick! Feel free to use the computer
if you want.” He closes the door behind him, leaving me in the silence of the
room. I quickly get dressed and immediately give my attention to the phone.
With it being on silent, Kaburagi or myself didn't hear it ringing. Junta
called me four times in the past thirty minutes. -Now- he cares. Rolling my
eyes in annoyance, I tap the send button over his name and press it to my ear.
Hope he's in a better mood now.
“Hajime?!” he shouts after less than one ring sending. He sounds worried, but
far more drunk. Great. “Oh thank the gods... thought something happened to
you!” By the way he's slurring, there's going to be one hell of hangover in the
morning.
“I sent you a text...”
“And I got it, it's just- uh, well, I didn't believe you would go out that
far.” Again not believing me? I groan to express my irritation. “Don't get
sassy with me! He lives -hours- away, bit of a ride to take on weekday. You
have class tomorrow!” Don't lecture me, I'm well aware of this.
“I plan on leaving early. And you do too...” I snarl back. Why the hell did he
keep drinking? Pathetic. This better not become a normal thing.
“I know! I'll be fine, more worried about you than me right now.” He takes a
deep breath to compose himself. “Look, just come home. I miss you...” It's only
been a few hours! Don't believe that, think he just doesn't trust me around
Kaburagi. Or anyone for that matter. I grunt and give a shake of the head, even
if if he can't see it. “Please... I said sorry for what I said!”
“No you didn't.”
“... ok, maybe I didn't, but I'm saying it now. I-I... got out of control. It
was a huge mistake and I hate myself for what happened. So please, can you just
come home?” Desperate now I see. I'm not going back to this... a drunken man
pleading for forgiveness? It's clear he cares about my safety, but I don't
think I can handle him like this. In my silent response, the sound of him
choking back tears fills the speaker. “Hajime... I know I'm not enough for you,
but I love you. That's why I want you here.” Again putting himself down. I
detest it when he says things like this... has he learned nothing?
“I love you too, Junta... please, just go lay down.” His emotions are going to
become out of control if this persists. Although, by the way this is playing
out, he's only going to get worse. I'm an idiot for coming out here in the
first place, it's not making Junta's trust or jealously better.
“You don't want me... I see this now. That's why you ran away. You know, I was
thinking earlier... maybe we should have just stayed a team and friends.” My
eyes widen. What...? He can't be serious, it's just the booze talking. It has
to be! “I'm being one hundred percent serious here, Hajime. We've been
together... for not even a month and things are turning out horrible. We both
know things are going to get worse. I will always love you, but... but...-”
“... I'll be home tomorrow. Just please, for my-”
“You thought about it too!” he shouts to interrupt, “Let's just go back to the
way we were. It was better that way...” Junta... honestly, I agree. There
wasn't any drama, any jealously, anything harmful. It was just us with no
strings attached, just the normal worry about a friend. I don't know if I
should take this seriously, given the intoxication, but I can feel how honest
he's being. If anything, he sounds happier with that thought let out.
“We can talk about this tomorrow,” I reply calmly. This should wait until he
sobers up, kind of a sensitive subject. The upset tone suddenly shifts when a
scoff fills the speaker.
“You really aren't taking what we have seriously! See? I am right! We aren't
mature enough to handle this!” What the hell? And to think I was being touchy
early. I take back what I thought, I'm glad I got out of there.
“More like you aren't!” The frustration of the situation takes over. Goddammit!
I was trying to handle this like an adult, but Junta won't listen. Drunken
moron...!!
“Says the one that fucking ran away!” I'm done with this bullshit! In a fit of
rage, I hang up and toss the phone away; it making a hard thunk when hitting
the floor. Day by day, Junta is pissing me off further. He's right, about
everything. He's not enough for me... he may be once he learns how important he
is to me! I care for him... but I can't handle this weight. He needs to grow
up! I need to stop caring so much! My heart pounds against my chest when
standing to my feet, fury again filling my thoughts.
Just forget about Junta! Stop loving someone who can't even love himself!
Without logical thought, my legs move on their own and intrude into the
unlocked bathroom; the surprised Kaburagi freezing in place while rinsing up at
the shower before entering the filled tub of steamy water.
“A-ah! Aoyagi-san!” he shouts when attempting to cover his naked form. He
quickly switches off the taps and wraps a towel at his waist in panic, thinking
this could be an emergency. A smile creeps along my lips when closing and
locking the door behind me. He stands in awe as I undress from the given
clothing and step in to close our distance. “... are you ok? What happened?”
Without a word, I place a hand at his cheek and lean in so our lips lock; my
eyes coming to a close.
 
Who cares if Junta doesn't trust me?
 
There's someone right here that will love me no matter what happens.
 
There was some affection for this man, but I take back what I thought last
Friday.
 
Maybe he's better for me... maybe this is how it should be.
***** Oh man, things are strange... *****
Chapter Summary
     (( *smiles innocently* I suck at this. ))
     NSFW STUFF
There's a gasp and recoil to the abrupt affection, but after a few seconds,
he's eagerly pushing back into my mouth. Wet body presses to my form when the
towel pools to his ankles; hands placing at my hips and gripping firm. What
happened to asking questions? Are my kisses that much of a weakness to you,
Issa? Amused by the reaction, I push further; his moist lips parting to accept
invasion. Tongue promptly rolls against his with a purr, the sweet flavor of
soda on my taste buds. So steamy in here... should take advantage of the
location while I can. Gesturing backwards, I lead him towards tub and he easily
steps in with myself. Bodies move almost in synch when falling to our knees and
lower halves sink into the waters; our lips continuing to explore. How
delicious he is. Legs part swiftly and I find myself straddling atop him; his
length already sporting some stiffness. So easy he is... but I am too. Won't
lie, I'm just as hungry for it as he is. Strangely enough, he's the one to
break contact.
“W-wait... isn't this what got you in trouble in the first place?” He gazes
away with a guilty look upon his face, but still holds me close. I perk a brow
in wonder.
“Don't worry about that,” I murmur back.
“But I should! Aoyagi-san... we should stop.”
“Why?”
“You love Teshima-san! Don't you feel bad for doing this?” I don't want to hear
this right now. I shake my head and attempt to keep the contact by leaning in,
but his head turns to avoid. “P-please! Explain what's going on...!” Didn't
think he'd question this situation, why doesn't he just take advantage? It's a
perfect scenario with the one you admire!
“Issa... something happened with Junta over the phone. I want- no, need this. I
need -you.-” He gazes back in complete shock, cheeks just as red as those
beautiful eyes. I'm not lying. It's not just the sexual fulfillment either,
everything he has to offer. My heartbeat has yet to drop, I'm completely
enamored. Did I love Kaburagi this much before or is it just the fight with
Junta driving me to such extremes? As for the moment, I don't care which it is.
I feel so happy within these arms.
“Need -me?-” he questions with disbelief. I give a nod back and present an
affectionate smile, his reaction being one I didn't anticipate. He boldly
pushes me to the back of the tub by my shoulders and latches onto my neck,
teeth and tongue hungry for my taste. My heads hangs back and brings welcome,
lips pursed with soft coos. He's so gentle and soft despite the forceful
entrance.
Yes Issa, express everything you want from me.
Teasing the whole way, that wet muscle trails across my skin to the collarbone
to nip lies down the length; chills of excitement running down my spine. As his
body lowers, mine raises from the water to let him explore. Once off his lap
and on knees, successions of light pecks are made from my chest to stomach;
halting once reacting my manhood. Coyly, he takes the flesh into hand and
strokes at a slow pace. There's no words, our locked eyes doing the talking.
He's the same as I, not just here for the gratification. The connection... and
do I feel it – all of it. Instead of doing the obvious thing of leading into a
blow job, his posture straightens to place his lips against mine once again.
Fingers continue to work over the hardening shaft as our tongues swirl,
fulfillment being achieved by this alone. How loving. My hips arch into the
touches with a soft moan, himself making a pleased noise in reply.
... it feels wonderful.
My hands relocate to his shoulders for support when the haphazard kisses
intensify and the pace increasing. Honestly, he isn't the best at this, but the
effort to please me makes up for it. A thin string of saliva hooks between our
lips when he presses his forehead to mine, a seductive stare directly at me. To
add more to the tease, his own length bumps and grinds against the outer region
of thigh; it begging for attention. Unsure where to lead this into, I let him
have control. Maybe he has something in mind.
“Aoya- no, Hajime...” he mumbles, “Does it feel good?” To think saying my first
name alone would strike a chord, but that simple question had to be added. It's
amazing. Those electric like shocks are going down my spine and hitting deep in
my stomach. I nod against him and clutch harder at his shoulders, his smile
growing when his head tilts. His free hand brushes away my dampened locks
before his lips press to my ear to whisper, “I want you to come for me.” A purr
slips from my throat. Don't have to tell me twice.
“Faster...” My hips buck into his fingers to emphasize my yearning, the action
then taken. Hard squeezes and strokes follow, the pleasure enough to make my
voice rise. “Yes... keep going...” Just to add to the sexual thrill, the sound
of him softly panting is filling my ears. The friction of his palm and dryness
of the water is slightly irritating, but doesn't scratch the surface of how
blissful it feels. “I-Issa-ah...” The hairs on the back of neck stand on end
and my vision hazes over as the peak climbs ever-so-closer.
Don't stop... please don't stop.
When his palm flips to jerk at a different angle, the feeling of teeth at the
ridge of my ear is mixed in. My noises increase in volume and my nails dig into
his shoulders, heart pounding in my chest.
Gods... a little mo- ah!
My orgasm hits like a ton of bricks, hard enough to make my whole body shudder
and shake. The motions slow and continue to stroke until I look him directly in
the eyes; my expression probably a complete mess. I'm somewhere between smiling
and drooping into exhaustion, cheeks stinging with heat. The dirtied hand is
quickly rinsed off before intertwining his fingers in my hair and again going
in for a kiss. It's just a soft press of the lips, one you'd give to someone
you truly love. Issa...
My heartbeat skips.
For unknown reasons, the urge to cry overtakes the gratification and my eyes
fill in an instant. I earnestly kiss him back and let the droplets fall. Why am
I crying again? I have no reason to! Or... is there? As for the moment, I don't
regret my actions, but subconsciously I may. I willingly cheated on Junta...
what a stupid move, yet I feel at peace. Was the just the sex, am I really that
easy? Regardless of why, Kaburagi pulls back and gasps in surprise.
“Oh no! Did I do something wrong?” he questions while peeling away. I promptly
wipe the fallen tears with a slow shake of the head. He sinks between the
water's surface with knees against his chest and bites down on his lower lip;
that all-too-familiar guilt written on his reddened face.
“N-no, not at all,” I mumble with a forced smile, “Just emotional right now...”
“I understand – sort of. Was this just a spur of the moment thing? You know...
because of what happened with Teshima-san?” He gazes away with a hard gulp.
Perhaps, but I'm unsure right now. I simply shrug and look away myself; my
jumbled mind again focused on Junta.
[“Let's just go back to the way we were.”]
He's already thinking about that? Seems like the right path, seeing as I
obviously can't control my urges or emotions. The once strained smile becomes
genuine, the idea bringing comfort. If Junta and I do break up, which is
inevitable now, he won't have to worry about me and vise versa. This College
life is going to be a hassle already, and if a relationship is added into the
mix, it's just going to cause more conflict. Yet, I like the connection that
comes with one. And the comfort. It made me feel complete and worth a damn...
not a waste of space.
“You ok? You're smiling now at least,” Kaburagi's voice chirps, my attention
returning.
“Sorry, got lost in thought. Enough of that, you need attention now.” Pushing
those thoughts to the side, I snap back to the situation at hand. When I draw
closer, he uncurls himself with a soft chuckle.
“Guess so, but I want to make sure you're fine first. I mean-” I stop his
rambling by cupping his face in my palms and forcing eye contact. Please... I
don't want this anymore. I'm done with tears and hurtful emotions. I need
this... Before we're able to continue, a voice booms from downstairs.
“Issa! Could you come down here?” That's his mother's voice! They're back
already?
“Shit!!” He scrambles out from the tub and wraps up in the discarded towel when
going towards the door. He cracks it open a few centimeters and shouts, “Just a
minute! In the bath!” After it's closed back up, he shuffles over to the
cabinet were the linens are stored and sloppily retrieves a fresh towel for
myself. “B-better get you out of here, just in case the folks have to c-come
in!” Unlike him, I'm not panicking, so I calmly step out from the tub, cover my
lower half and head towards the door. I gather my shed clothing and and peek
out to confirm the coast is clear. I tread out, return to his room and quietly
close the door behind me. I can't help but snicker to myself.
Interruptions... don't miss them one bit.
 
---
 
While Issa sorts out whatever his parents need assistance with, I get dressed
and check up on my phone. Within the short period inside the bathroom, Junta
has called a handful of times and sent a few texts; most of them saying to call
him right away. Some of them are near impossible to read due to the
intoxication, but I get the gist. From what I'm able to sort out, he'll be
hanging with K for a few hours to probably keep drinking. Again, how utterly
pathetic. Same time, at least he'll be around a friend that will keep his
emotions in check. Hopefully. Not wanting to relight the fire, I set my phone
atop the nightstand and plan not to touch it for the rest of the night. I came
here to relax, not cause drama. Seeing as my friend has yet to return, I decide
to take a closer look at the computer. With the player still up, I catch some
of the titles. By how they read, they're mostly rock, metal and maybe dance
music? Odd choices, but they sound appealing. Curiously, I tap the play button
on the paused song. Yup, dance music. Catchy tune, definitely the 'in music'
for teenagers right now - which is fine. I never did have a preferred taste in
music, anything with a good beat or lyrics will do it for me.
“Sick tunes, am I right?” Turning around, Kaburagi closes off the door and
drops a few shopping bags to the bed. Seeing as they make me want to bob my
head along, guess I can agree. With a nod, I plop down to the edge of the bed
and examine the new items. “Parents decided to drop off the snacks right away
seeing as they didn't know how long they'd be gone. Pretty sweet!”
“Nice of them,” I comment. He pulls out the assortment of comfort food, from
flavored chips to gummy fruits. More snacks for a younger crowd in my book, but
hey, Kaburagi is still a freshman and probably still finds treats such as these
in his preferred palette. “Waaah! I haven't had these in years!” He holds up a
cream soda flavored hard candy with a bright grin. “These used to be my
favorite! You have to try one!” After the bag is split open, he eagerly unwraps
one and presents it between two fingers. “They're super sweet though... you
like your coffee bitter, so it may taste horrible.” Shrugging a shoulder, I
take it and pop it in my mouth.
Oh... he wasn't wrong. This is pure sugar!
Squeezing my eyes, I suckle and try to handle the overpowering sweetness as it
starts to dissolve. It's too much to take! I shake my head rapidly back and
forth to express my displeasure.
“Knew it... I'll let you have the salty snacks instead. Not going to force you
to eat it. Although...” He shimmies around the edge of the bed to seat himself
next to me. I stare back with an arched brow. “Would be a waste it you spit it
out.” Oh, I get it. This a form of romance to him? Playing along, I lean in and
place my lips to his. Lips slightly part to pass the candy over into his maw.
He beams when breaking contact, a laugh low in his chest. “Despite you not
liking sweet things, you're surely a 'sweet heart~!'”
Ugh... how cheesy.
I'm a sucker for 'sweet talk' though.
 
---
 
The sun is fully set once we indulge in the night of activities, our first
being munching on the snacks and talking simple things over. Mostly my
commission and artwork in general. Seeing as it's my main hobby, to make and
critique, he's interested how I got into it. Truthfully, I don't know what
sparked it, but art has been part of life ever since I can remember. I'm just a
creative type, simple as that. Being a simple minded man, it's hard for him to
comprehend what makes paintings and illustrations so appealing and even
entertaining. It's difficult to explain, but it becomes easier once he brings
up one of his pass times. Reading comic books and manga. I explained that, in a
way, they're a form of art. From drawing techniques of different artists and
writing styles, they pass as an art form. That's when he brought out a stack of
comic books, his favorites being ones from America. Granted, ninety percent of
them aren't translated, so he's mostly in them for the pictures and gore. By
looking as these, he's earned a decent understanding of English because he
wants to read them as well. Not knowing much myself, I can see why he enjoys
them regardless. The line styles, the action, the violence... they have appeal.
They gave me some inspiration as well.
Makes me reconsider my commission. I'm still in the phase of coming up with a
concept, which is harder than it seems. This will permanently be a on a wall
with hundreds, to even thousands, will see. The one I had before, which was
generic and simple, doesn't feel right anymore once browsing through the
beautiful drawings of the books. I have plenty of time to come to a conclusion,
but I think I have a better idea now.
After jotting down the metal note, Kaburagi brings up on what should we do for
the few hours we have left. I have to leave early, around three in the morning
to be safe. Think it would just be better to stay up, ride the hours home, push
through my short class and sleep afterwords. I'll be dead exhausted, but it's
just the second day. If anything, the class will be simple and won't require
much brain work. Kaburagi disagrees though, demanding I have a nap. Will admit,
I'm already tired and he picked up on this. His suggestion to watch something
and maybe drift into sleep I take without protest. He sets up the laptop at the
end of the bed and puts on a movie that I've already seen before, which helps.
At first, we just sat and watched in silence, but as I grew more tired, I found
myself slipping. Moments of black flashed before when delving deeper into
unconsciousness, which prompts my friend to pull the sheets from under us. With
the bed being some small, I'm right up against him; head parked on a shoulder.
The sounds of the movie drift away...
 
---
 
My eyes slowly open to see the dimly lit room, the string of lights around the
ceiling bringing a comforting glow. Those weren't on before and the laptop is
missing. Turning over, the face of my sleeping friend greets me. Not knowing
when he passed out, I slowly exit the bed and peer to the nightstand. The
digital clock reads one twenty in the morning. I slept that long? Sure, was
still a nap, but I feel extremely well rested. The soft light allows me to see
a slip of paper under my phone. That's new. Unfolding it, it reads:
“Have an alarm set for 2am. If I don't get out of bed, make sure to wake me up.
Have to lock you out once you leave. Thanks~.”
After using the remaining forty minutes of having some left over snacks to give
some energy and browsing my usual websites on his computer, I shake at his
shoulder. He grumbles something incoherent under his breath before cracking his
eyes open and blankly stare up at me.
“It's time. Said you'd lock the door,” I whisper with a gentle smile. He nods
against the pillow with a sleepy 'mhrm' and sits up. He rubs the sleep from his
eyes and stumbles out from the sheets.
“You... sleep ok...?” he mumbles in a slur. Feel kind of bad for waking him up,
but he's right, I need to be locked out. Not like I have a key.
“Fine enough to ride.”
“That's good... hope you'll be safe. Going to be dark as hell. Have lights
on... your bike right?” I nod in reply and make my ways towards the door, his
half asleep self coming along. After exiting and getting my bike setup,
Kaburagi speaks up while on the porch. “Hey... um- well, my parents will be
away on a business trip this Saturday. Maybe you... wanna come hang out?” This
his way of asking me out on a date or is it just an innocent get together?
Doesn't matter which.
“We'll see, depends how the week plays out.”
“Yeah, that's cool.” He scratches the back of his head nervously. He looks
suddenly wide awake for unknown reasons, thin brows raised high. “Oh, wait
there just a moment!” He sprints back inside, leaving me in the stillness of
the late night for a minute or two. He returns with a piece of clothing hung
over a forearm. “Almost forgot,” he begins when presenting a deep blue colored
jacket, “I -may- have gone out and bought you a new sweater... your last one
got ruined thanks to the blood, so...” My eyes round out in surprise. He didn't
have to, but I couldn't feel more thankful. Not going to mention I have an
extra, for his sake. I take the clothing and slip it over my shoulders, it
fitting to my liking. Slightly oversized with large pockets, just my style.
“Got one that kinda looked like your old one. You like it?”
“It's perfect. Thank you.” With being half seated on my bike, kind of difficult
to express my thanks with a kiss, so I just leave it like that.
“Awesome! So uh- yeah, I'll text ya later, huh?”
“Won't mind. Get back to sleep and thanks for having me over.” After presenting
a loving smile, I pedal away and begin the long journey home. Wish he lived
closer... maybe my driver's license will come in handy. Getting a hold of a
vehicle, well, that's a different story. That can come later, my bike will
suffice for now. Outside of the city limits, the highway is almost in pitch
black if not for the few lamps lining the sides. They're far spaced, but my
headlight does a well enough job of lighting the way. Not too hard to get lost
either with the stretch being mostly on a straight road. It's lonely out here,
a single car passing maybe once per hour. I take my time, pedaling at a gentle
speed to enjoy this alone time.
I'm still scared to go back...
Junta... what did you do while I was gone?
 
---
 
It's around six thirty when I pull up to the dorm, the sun just over the
horizon and birds singing their morning greetings. With hesitance, I ascend the
set of stairs, retrieve my keys and unlock the door. Straight away, I see the
figure of my partner passed out on the couch in the same clothing from earlier.
To make the setting more uncomfortable, a multitude of beer cans are littered
atop the coffee table. Doubt he had all of those to himself, so K must have
came over to keep him company. Not surprised the booze consumption continued,
but it's still disgusting. The whole room reeks of the stuff. Shaking it off, I
first focus on starting off with breakfast. Something simple today, don't have
the energy to do anything complex. Luckily there's left over miso soup from the
other day that will do perfectly.
After getting it set up on the stove and starting a pot of coffee, Junta is
awakened from the noise. He starts off towards the kitchen with hair in
disarray, heavy bags under his eyes. He didn't sleep long, or well for that
matter. I glare back for a second and continue my task, body tensed from what
may transpire. Should I say something? Before anything, he shambles into the
bathroom and slams the door; the disgusting sound of gagging muffled behind it.
As to be expected, it gets worse. Vomiting. Could have been avoided, but sadly,
he just couldn't stop drinking huh? All agitation from yesterday piles back,
but I need to control my anger. Junta was upset... he got a little out of
control. So did I, so I can't judge. Even with being back home and with him, I
don't regret what I did.
Don't think I ever will.
He returns after a long twenty minutes, enough time for me to enjoy the hastily
made breakfast and get dressed into uniform. Out of kindness, I suppose, I laid
out his on the bed to make things a little easier for the both of us. I'm
adjusting my hair in the small mirror at our bedside when he stumbles in,
breaths heavy and body stiff. There's only awkward glances in silence when
dressing himself and he swiftly exits. Once my hair to suitable enough, I
return to the front room to spot him slurping down the remains of the soup with
the morning news on the television. Guess it's like any other day...
“Thanks for making breakfast,” he finally says to break the ice.
“No problem...” I mumble when scooping up my backpack. Bit early to be leaving,
but I'd rather get to class early then try to strike up a conversation.
Especially when Junta is in this state. When slipping on my helmet and gloves,
he speaks up.
“Look... when we were on the phone yesterday...” He places the emptied bowl to
the table and lets off a heavy sigh. “I was being honest.” Not now...
“This can wait.”
“No, it can't. I need you to understand what's going on.” He brushes his bangs
away to the side and stands to his feet, eyes locked on me. “Hajime, I'm
breaking it off. We're done.” I'm in awe and in lose of words when he gathers
his own school items; occasionally looking over to see if I have any reaction.
What do I say? “Nothing? Figured as much... this shouldn't mess with our
friendship anyway. We'll still be roommates, but I'll just sleep on the couch.”
He's so calm about this, tone sincere and straight forward. Although, it does
sound forced – like this is the last thing he wanted to say. That thought is
backed up when he sniffles and completely avoids eye contact; mostly likely to
hide his expression.
“Junta...-”
“You know what, you're right. This should wait,” he interrupts with a slow
shake of the head. “We have class.” There's another painful silence when he
finishes getting ready, gloves and helmet snapped on. I have no idea how to
react. I mean, there's relief in hearing it, but it still hurts. There's
something special between me and Junta, and I'm the one to fuck it up? … I did
this. I shattered what we had. When he's about to exit, he halts and again
speaks. “I hope you had fun with Kaburagi last night... probably better than
being with me.” The door is slammed much in the fashion I did the day before,
hard and unnecessary. Was that meant to mock me? Tch.
He's trying to guilt trip me now?
Thanks Junta.
I'm glad we're done.
***** Oh man, after all, this could be worse... *****
Chapter Summary
     (( Ramblerambleramble. Teshima's PoV~ ))
I said it... I can't believe I said it!
At first, it's calming to know a weight is off my shoulders, but the twinge of
regret grows in the back of mind. It's over. Something I've been longing for
years, and when it happened, I couldn't be happier. I felt complete, the hole
that was missing filled and my thoughts at peace. Someone to call my own,
someone to look after, someone who actually gave a damn about me! Someone... I
love.
And I let him go.
Why... why?!
Being lost in these thoughts, the bike ride up the school is far faster than my
normal gentle stroll. Wasn't paying attention... if someone walked onto the
path, I probably wouldn't have stopped. Once stepped off my bike and it placed
at the rack, every pain from the hangover hits at once. The strain of my tired
eyes, bones sore and muscles stiff, stomach tossing and turning every
direction... I deserve this pain for being so stupid. Not to mention, I'm
breathing out for dear life; air feeling like it's not getting into my lungs.
And this agony in my chest... shit!! What's going on?!
My legs buckle and I fall to my hands and knees, jaw hung open to desperately
try to breath. My chest feels like there's a clamp crushing down on my ribcage
and it's only getting tighter. What is this pain?
I'm scared...
“Junta-bug! Holy shit!” The sound of my neighbor's voice is muffled, my ears
not working to their full potential. I'm going to die... aren't I? There's the
faded sound of shuffling feet, a multitude of them. Is there a crowd behind me?
Would assume so, not everyday a student crumples to ground for no reason. No,
there is a reason. There's plenty of reasons!
Hajime... why did you do this? Why am I not enough for you?!
My eyes slam shut and tears tears flow freely, my voice cracking out in a
strained cry. Why the hell am I so weak?!
I don't want to lose you! What went wrong?!
The sting of wet tears is on my cheeks, droplets falling and hitting the cement
below. That's when a figure feels closer and a hand begins rubbing up and down
my back.
“Junta-bug! Talk to me! What's wrong?! You need a nurse?” I don't know what I
need! Anything to make the pain stop! My chest feels like it's going to burst
and the sound of my heartbeat thuds against my eardrums. I can't breath... my
vision is cutting out. There's flashing of white, then black, and my strength
is fading. My cries turn into painful coughs and gags before my throat
completely locks up; silencing my voice. Arms, legs, every piece of me gives in
and everything goes dark.
 
…
 
Nothing hurts anymore...
 
Let me sleep.
 
---
 
Eyes shoot open to see the bright lights on the pale ceiling; clicks and beeps
of machinery nearby. I'm at the nurses' office? Confused, my head turns to see
a large needle in my right arm and connected to an IV bag missing most its
contents. A clear liquid, perhaps water? Scanning the room further, the
familiar figure of my neighbor is skimming through a magazine near the closed
door. What happened to me?
“K...?” I say to get his attention.
“You're awake!” He tosses the flimsy book away and scrambles to my side, a look
of relief on his tanned face. “Shit kid, nearly gave me a heart attack with
that display! You feeling better?”
“A little...” My muscles have relaxed to point of being tolerable, but my chest
aches something fierce. Not the same as before though, more a bruised feeling
than crushing. Judging by the beeping, my heart rate stabilized too. Did I
myself have a heart attack? “What happened?”
“You passed out and I got you over here right away. According to Tsuji-kun, and
from what I told him on how you were acting, it was from dehydration and
perhaps a panic attack. That's still a theory though, just going by what I
saw.” He parts his bangs to the side and scowls. “You have any health
conditions I'm not aware of?”
“No, that sounds about right,” I mumble when sitting up, “I... well, panicked
to put it bluntly.” Never had a panic attack, but given the circumstances, it's
feasible as the cause. Wouldn't be my first time fainting, but this time was
different. So much more pain...
“Something happen that set it off?” I peer to him for a handful of seconds.
“Yeah... I-” I hesitate, words difficult to speak freely. I don't want to say
it, but it needs to be explained.“I broke up with Hajime.” His green eyes go
wide in surprise.
“What!? From what you rambled on about last night, that's the last thing you
wanted! Shit man, you're head-over-heels in love!” That's true. After Aoyagi
didn't respond to my calls or texts, I invited K over to keep me company. I was
so frightened that I'll lose him, I needed a distraction to keep myself in
check. It worked, at first, us just sharing a few brews and talking about
simple things. As the night progressed and my intoxication got worse, so did my
thoughts. Before realizing the mistake, I kept maundering about our
relationship and what's exactly going on. I clearly remember breaking down and
K having to calm me down. How embarrassing... and now, again, this guy saves me
from trouble. He really is like a big brother.
“I know, but...” I take in a deep breath and sigh out. “Should stay away from
that subject for now. You can understand why.” He responds with a slow nod and
turns off towards the door.
“No problem, kid. You relax and I'll go tell the doctor you're up.” I flop back
down to the pillow with a low groan.
I'm so pathetic.
 
---
 
The doctor and the familiar face of Tsuji-sensei step in a handful of seconds
later to recheck my vitals and ask for a detailed explanation of my symptoms.
It's brief, the pain primarily in my chest and cutting my breath short. Seeing
as I'm still young, they rule out it was a heart attack or anything serious;
sticking to the idea that it was a panic attack. That's when things got
awkward. They suggested if I'm 'having problems,' I should seek out the
guidance counselor or a teacher. It's not school troubles that's doing it!
Hell, it's only the second day!
I was out for a solid hour and another thirty minutes when adding the
examination. Due to my intake, I was mildly dehydrated, but nothing too
extreme. The IV was hooked up to make up for the lack of water with some
vitamins added in the mix. Helped tons, the hangover is barely there anymore.
Also doesn't help I only got three hours under my belt sleep wise. Was so
wrapped up about Aoyagi, I couldn't sleep to save my life. Once things are
thoroughly described, the doctor suggests I take the day to rest up. This meant
missing my class. I'd rather not, but my health comes before work. This doesn't
prevent me from stopping by the classroom and getting a lay down of today's
lesson. Voice types, we'll be studying this for the week to learn the different
terms and better understand our own pitch ranges.
While the other students skimmed through their notes, Hayashi-sensei marked the
pages in my book that were covered today. It's my job to read through this on
my own time. Not much of a problem, seeing as I'll be home all day. He also
passed out my first homework assignment. By Friday, an essay is due on the
subject of 'why do you want to become a singer.' What inspired it, vocal
influences, end goals, that sort of thing. Seeing as this is his first year
teaching, he wants a good understanding of his students and their drive to
sing. Simple enough. I give my apologies for being absent and I make my way
back outside. I'll have something to keep my mind occupied at least. Strangely
enough, when arriving to the scene of the attack, Aoyagi stands just in front
of my bike.
“H-hey...” I stammer, “Heard what happened?” He's missing class just to see me?
And how did he know I'd be going back to the dorm? He looks away and nods
slowly in answer. “Figured K would text you. It's alright though, not like I'm
dying!” I laugh off the situation like it isn't anything serious, but he
disagrees. Thin brows knit when staring back and lips curve to a frown. “You
didn't have to skip class to come see me. See? I'm still walking~.” I kick my
legs up high when approaching to exaggerate my statement, but he isn't amused.
Guess being silly isn't going to do anything. I slump my shoulders and give a
sigh when a few feet away from him. “Ok, fainting isn't an everyday thing, but
I told you I'm fine. Just going to get back home and rest up.” Pastel eyes seem
to look right through me, like he's ignoring me. There's still no vocal
response and his thoughts don't connect; I'm in the dark. Just looking at him
makes my muscles tense up, instant discomfort. There's this awkward feeling in
the air when staring silently back and a fluttering in my stomach is present.
Gods... I feel awful for what I said. And what I did. Seeing as he has nothing
to say, I fill the gap. “Look... you probably came out here to give your
thoughts on what happened at home, right?” Stone faced, his head shakes.
“I know it's over,” he finally talks in an emotionless tone. His normal to
other people, but I can feel how cold it is. He's angry? “What else is there to
talk about?”
“I-I don't know...!” He makes a point, what could he or myself even say? “Then
why did you come here?”
“Because I still care about you.” He swipes fallen tuft of hair from his
forehead, his made ponytail in disarray and all over the place. Eventually
he'll learn how to do it correctly. Out of instinct, I reach and push the
missed strands away. He remains motionless when tucking them behind an ear.
“You fainted because of me.” That's why he showed up, he wanted to face what
the true reason was; not because I had a horrible hangover. My hand falls back
to my side.
“Not you, us. You see, I... I don't want it this way. I had to say it, because-
”
“You don't trust me,” he says to cut me off. He has a horrible habit of doing
that lately. He sounds offended, tone dipping into a growl. He's touchy again,
I should be careful about my words. I shake my head while waving that hand
about in defense.
“I was wrong about that!” One of his brows arches high, looking more interested
in the conversation. “I'm jealous... and I hate the fact that there's others
that want you as their own. But it makes me happy that you choose me above
others.” That ache in my body returns, chest again clamping tight. Control
yourself, Junta. This may work out. “But to have someone so beautiful like you
love someone like me is ridiculous. Come now, who can like someone as worthless
as me?” There's a change in his expression, the corners of lips turning.
He's... smiling?
“You're right, I must be an idiot,” he remarks sarcastically before walking
past me and back towards the school. Don't go yet!
“Wait!” I blurt after turning on my heels. The outburst makes him stop in his
tracks, but he doesn't face me. Shit, what do I say? I have nothing, I can't do
anything right now.“Hajime... eh- never mind. I'll see you later at the dorm.”
There's the motion of his head bobbing up and down before he saunters off, a
sudden stillness in the air. Of course he'll still care for me, but I already
feel so lonely... unwanted.
This will take time to fix.
 
---
 
The sun is going to set soon, just where is Aoyagi?
These passing hours I dedicated to catching up on my missed lesson, which is
cake due to my prior knowledge. Breezed through it without batting an eyelash,
so this gave plenty of time to start a rough draft of the essay. I could write
for days on this subject, but it only has to be three pages long. Pretty short
if you ask me, so I should put as much detail as possible in the shortest way.
Or maybe he wants it simple... I'll just do it my normal way. About a page and
half in is when Aoyagi arrives, face sweaty and long hair a complete mess once
his helmet is set aside. Guess he got sick of that ponytail.
“Welcome back,” I comment while spinning my writing pen over my thumb, “Decide
to go for a ride?”
“Commission,” he mumbles while walking down the short hallway. I'm an idiot...
he wouldn't cycle in his school uniform!
“Duh, of course! Not like that went away!” May as well keep up causal
conversation to make it feel more comfortable for the both of us. Wouldn't
think this would ruin our friendship, especially with still being roommates.
Can't avoid each other forever. “Did you eat anything or should I make some
dinner?” There's still no reply, so I return my attention to the paperwork. A
few minutes pass in silence, besides the sound of the bathroom door opening and
closing. He must be beat... but I want to talk to him more. Same time, should
give him space. I'll test the waters. “Haji-” My voice cuts when I turn my head
to see him nearby dressed up in his normal sleep attire, two pillows under arms
and our spare blanket over a shoulder.
“I'm going to sleep,” he says in that normal monotone after tossing the
collection to the empty area of the couch next to me. “Good night.”
“O-oh, sure you're not- ...” He's already halfway down to the bedroom when I
start to speak, again ignoring me. What the hell is up? Something happen at the
cafe or is he still mad? No... he didn't feel like that. Just worn out and fed
up with the day. More like grumpy. I'm in the same boat, so I think I'll do the
same. I slide my notepad to the coffee table and begin setting up my new bed,
extremely thankful we have a comfy couch. Although, our extra blanket is more a
sheet, but it will suffice. I'll deal with it.
After all, I deserve this.
 
---
 
The idea that this phase will pass in a day or two was wrong. Aoyagi seldom
spoke or interacted with me the whole week, always out late to work on his
commission and then go straight to bed once he's back. He's going out of the
way to avoid me, even waking up before me to grab a quick breakfast and head to
school early. Cruel... too cruel. Doesn't he know the state I'm in right now?
This is hurting me more than him, but I could be wrong. Ever since the breakup,
I've rarely been able to catch his thoughts. Not like I'm always 'psychic'
around him, but this isn't right. I can't sense how he's feeling or what he may
be thinking about at any given time; it's a blank space. This upsets me the
most, I was able to connect with him ever since day one.
But now... I truly lost my bond with him.
After school on Friday, K invited me to join him and his other friends over at
their favorite hangout spot in town to 'celebrate getting through a week of
hell' as he put it. In all reality, he goes out every Friday to be social and
have a few brews. He knows I've been down in the dumps, so he thought this
could be a great break from the drama at home. I passed the offer at first, but
that idea changed when I again came home to an empty house; Aoyagi -again-
working. Who knows? Could make some new friends and have a decent time. We all
carpooled up with our designated driver, the two out of the six I knew being my
friendly neighbor and Tsuji-sensei. All of them are twenty or older, so I have
no idea why they're dragging me to a bar. K reassured me everything will be a-
ok, and boy, was it.
Turns out his friend’s father owns the place, Eiji I think his name was.
Truthfully, I wasn't paying much attention to the company; more on the given
beers and blasting music in the background. Did find it amusing when one of his
acquaintances prodded me in the shoulder and asked why I wasn't checking out
any of the women coming in. K answered for me.
[“Man, this kid is just like me. Far too much in love to ogle anyone!”]
Don't get me wrong, the girls were lookers; skimpy clothing and all. But I
couldn't give a damn. Maybe this just confirms I'm only attracted to males or K
is right. I'd like to believe he is. Once enough booze was in me, I found the
courage to enjoy the night while I can. They had a karaoke machine, I couldn't
resist standing on the platform and belting out a few songs. Wonder if the myth
is correct, that you sing better while drunk. Didn't matter, seeing as the
group loved every second of it. We had our fun of singing and chatting up a
storm about random things until the bar closed at the late hours of the night;
my neighbor covering my tab because it was my first time here. Appreciated,
knew I drank a good four thousand yen worth of drinks.
Returning home wasn't as much of a pain as I thought, Aoyagi is already sound
asleep and cuddled up in the bed. It's tempting to join, but I bite back the
urge. He's always angry, or at least agitated, when I'm drunk, so I'd rather
not disturb him. Didn't think I'd enjoy being intoxicated this much, all my
anxieties just melt away to just be in bliss. It's wonderful... haven't felt
this good all week. I see why many adults of my age fall into the habit, along
with the occasional cigarette. Yeah, I'm fully aware this isn't healthy, but
why stop something that feels so good? I so easily fell into them...
After all, I am weak.
 
---
 
My crusted eyes crack open when the sound of shuffling is around me. Shit, I
just passed out shortly after getting home, huh? To my surprise, I don't feel
horrible; the hangover being minimal. That's a relief. Sitting up, I spot my
roommate in the kitchen pouring out a cup of coffee.
“Hrm... morning Hajime,” I grumble with an extended yawn. His head turns to
glance at me with a... smile? I haven't seen him do that for days! Perhaps he's
in a good mood today. “You make enough for me?” Instead of pouring out a
different glass, he adds the amount of cream and sugar I prefer and passes it
over the back of the couch. “Thanks~. You sleep well?” His smile just widens
before he heads back to the kitchen. “I'll take that as a yes.” Glancing to the
clock by the displayed trophies, it's around nine in the morning. Six hours of
sleep... I'll survive, mostly because Aoyagi is in a decent mood for once.
Although, an odd thing to note is he's already fully dressed; including a
sweater.
Wait... why didn't I notice it before?
That's not his usual one. Looks similar to one that got bloody... has he always
been wearing it? “This may sound rude, but when did you get a new sweater?” He
stays by the counters when he turns around to face me, a brow perked. Finally,
I can understand what he's thinking. “Sorry I didn't notice earlier, we haven't
seen or talked much.” He's had it for a few days now, huh? Does that mean...
“You get that from Kaburagi?”
“Mhrm,” he hums, “He wanted to replace my old one.” It's great to hear his
voice again. This instantly makes me crack a grin.
“I see. Still thinks he's responsible for what happened to your nose?” He takes
a large swig of coffee down, places the mug aside and walks off towards the
front door without an answer. He's leaving already? “Going out so soon? Know
the commission won't finish itself, but I haven't talked to you all week. Will
you be gone long?” He slips on his shoes and cycling gear with a neutral
expression. There's a long pause before he musters up a few words.
“I'll be with Issa today.” He decided to be honest with me, but why? Am I that
much of an annoyance to him? So much for the idea of him no longer avoiding me.
“Alr-right...” I stammer with disappointment apparent in my voice, “All day?”
He answers with a single bob of the head just after plucking his keys from a
pocket. He's adamant about leaving, he's barely acknowledging my existence by
those vague reactions. Damn it Hajime, that's why you're pleased. “Staying over
night I see... then I hope you have a nice night. Text or call me if you need
anything, alright?” I struggle to keep a smile when he looks back with his
normal motion of a nod, it quickly vanishing once the door is shut behind him.
I clutch the given coffee cup and sniffle, no battle to be had to fight off
these tears. I'm so worthless... I can't make him happy anymore.
There's no use in trying.
After all, I'm just a waste of space.
***** Oh man, I'll have regrets... *****
Chapter Summary
     (( Fluffy, cute crap coming your way. Switching to Aoyagi's PoV
     already. :'D ))
Sorry Junta, I don't mean to hurt you.
I'm the weak one here.
It's been difficult to approach him even since the breakup. I'm afraid one of
us will say something stupid and another futile argument will erupt, especially
with my touchy temper lately. Will admit, it's immature and unlike my usual
self, but it's hard to keep back. Junta... just makes me so angry. Passed off
the smoking habit as a minor thing, but now I believe he's going to be drinking
every week. Not to mention his pathetic self image, which will forever rub me
the wrong way. I've done my best to build up his confidence, but it seems my
attempts were fruitless. Maybe someday that issue will be resolved and Junta
can realize how strong of a man he is. No use dwelling on these thoughts, I got
out of the house to forget for a day.
Thought I'd be leaving far later in the afternoon, but Kaburagi contacted me
soon after I got up in the early morning. He's definitely excited to see me,
for obvious reasons, but this early? I'm thankful really, thought I'd be
spending more awkward hours with my roommate. The bike ride does take a good
amount of time, so it was intentional. He wants to spend as much time as
possible with me. Although, wish I was able to leave before Junta awoke. Not
like I was going to leave him in the dark about it, I'd at least send a text,
but now I left him with that uncomfortable conversation. He's probably tearing
himself apart over it too... damn it, I told myself I wouldn't think of Junta!
Things have changed... and both of us need to come to terms.
Not a single cloud covers the high, afternoon sun when I arrive at the two
story building; that familiar Felt parked so delicately nearby. And the 'idiot'
himself is already on the porch, like he's waiting. Hopefully he didn't sit out
there for too long. Something seems off about his appearance though. Pulling up
and leaning my bike next to his, I get a better view of the display. If
ignoring the fact that's he wearing a Hawaiian shirt in the Fall, he's
wearing... glasses?! Plastic orange frames sit between those wide eyes, another
thing catching my attention. His eyes... they're a different color!
“H-hey Hajime...” he mumbles in greetings, “I know. I know. You probably have a
lot of questions right off the bat.” He scratches the back of his head with a
low chuckle, clearly embarrassed. I stare back blankly, waiting for the
explanation. “You see, I was a moron and lost one of my contacts, so I'm being
punished by being forced to wear these.” Figured he wore them to show off,
seeing as naturally red eyes are a rarity, but I didn't know he had a
prescription. “My parents pay big bucks for my awesome red contacts, so let's
just say, they're disappointed. Getting no allowance for a month too...” During
this little speech, I look straight into his genuine eyes. They're a deep shade
of green. No, more of a hazel.
“Why do wear red ones?” I simply question. They're really beautiful, he
shouldn't shy away from showing his natural self.
“'Cause they're... cool!” He shows off a bright, toothy grin when gesturing his
'genius' pose. “I dye my hair for the same reasons! Normal Issa is so bland!”
To help his already nerdy looks, the mentioned dye has faded to show a streak
of bleached brown on his hair line. Imagining him with a full head of dark
brown hair without it being spiked really sets a good picture in my mind.
Gods... he's absolutely adorable. With a smirk, I approach and slant my head to
the side to place a soft kiss to his lips. He falls silent when I pull back.
“I like you like this.”
“Whaaaaat?!” he blurts in awe, “You're just saying that to make me feel better!
I look awful...” With a coy expression, he looks away with a push of those wide
framed glasses. The lens themselves aren't very thick, so he can't be too blind
without them. Being all shy... I love it when he's like this. Him, not some
guise to be flashy and stand out in a crowd. If only he could be like this with
other people.
“Don't know what you're talking about. All I see is a handsome young man,” I
reply with all honesty. A side note is his voice tends to crack when hitting
higher pitches, still going through the joyous thing called puberty. He stares
back with a weak grin and redness up on his cheeks. Before he can respond, I
cup his chin in my palm and lean in for another kiss. It's hard to hold back
anymore... he's just too cute. Not that fully grown appeal that comes from men
of my age, an innocence and awkwardness. Reminds me when Junta and I were this
age... the difference there is in two years is astounding. And enticing. His
hands locate to each of my hips when pushing back into it, a charmed hum in his
throat. It's held for a handful of seconds, then he's the one to break contact.
“Thanks, makes me feel a little better. Otherwise, should get inside... you
probably want to sit down.” That's an excuse, he doesn’t be seen by any
passerby; have a gut feeling. Respecting that, I release him and we make our
way inside. The first thing he brings up is his pet. We got so distracted by
the movie last time I was here, I didn't get to opportunity to feed him.
Apparently he fed him after I feel asleep, so it wasn't much of a trouble.
Today is a treat day, so a few banana slices are prepared for the occasion.
It's normally fed inside the enclosure, but Kaburagi wants me to see it up
close. After scooping the large beetle out, he places it on the plate of food
with some moist spoil to keep it comfortable. We sit across legged atop the bed
and I'm the one to pass over a piece. It climbs atop and I watch those little
feelers move all around the surface. Thought this species would use those large
horns to cut or maybe hold it, but I was very wrong. Guess they're only used
for territorial purposes. An interesting sight, but nothing too engaging. Once
it has its fill, Kaburagi plucks it up and places him on my arm for 'play time'
as he put it. My first instinct was to swat it away, but I had to remember this
is a pet! Odd sensation to have little legs trailing up and down your skin...
but it's not terrible. Kind of a boring pet, same time, I can see an appeal.
“Dai-kun is suuuuuper cute, huh?” my friend comments after some minutes of
playtime. He's the one in control now, the beetle skittering back and forth on
his palms. Enthused over bugs... I'm never fully understand it.
“He sure is. Plan on getting more?”
“Maybe once I move out. They will fight or even kill each if in the same tank,
so I'd have to get separate ones. Get different species too! Kinda excited to
have a bug army under my wing!” He boastfully laughs when standing to his feet.
“You'll be the first in command!” He gently kisses it before placing it back in
the tank, along with the left over slices. “Still has a few years on him too.
He'll be the grumpy, old general! You plan on having any pets?”
“My dog... maybe a cat.” Only regard the feline due to Junta's affection for
them. For all I know, me and him will still live together after College. Things
can easily change in a few years. Kaburagi beams and leaps onto the bed, making
me rattle around. How childish. You're not nine anymore, Issa! We then get
caught up in conversation about animals, mainly my big girl back home. Got her
when she was a puppy after I graduated middle school, so she has a long life in
store. A fluffy Husky who was my only friend until I met Junta... and he helped
me name her. Didn't have a solid name until he mentioned how much he enjoys
chai and its sweetness, which inspired me to call her after the drink. Chai,
stuck ever since. Bringing up Junta caused a stillness between us, the topic
instantly switching.
“... how are things going with you two?” asks Kaburagi in a grumble. He's
uncomfortable but interested. Understandable, I did bring up the breakup once
during one of our texts earlier in the week. There's something that's been
lingering in my mind all week and I may as well let it out now. Does involve
the orange-head after all.
“Been... awkward. We haven't been able to talk much. Strange living with him
now.” I pause for a moment to gulp, a sudden dryness in my throat.
“But he's still your friend! Did something else happen?” His head tips to keep
eye contact with me despise my futile attempts to turn away. I know there's
frustration apparent in my expression, my usual poker-face hard to maintain.
It's still a tender subject, we only broke up a few days ago. Junta probably
feels the same... lonely – regardless of being under the same roof. It's most
likely present due to this being a first relationship, but there's no way to
ignore the ache. I adored the connection we shared, the simple word of 'dating'
having a weight with me. I want to be with someone... there's this comfort with
it. Never thought I'd feel this way, but I do. I want someone to call my own.
My head shakes to disagree.
“No, it's just been different. But it happened, meaning we both need to get
over it.” My spine and shoulders feels akin to jelly when glancing back over,
the statement echoing my thoughts. Just tell him, Hajime. Don't be a coward,
this can help you and him at the same time. “So... I-” Just say it! A warmth
builds in my chest. Don't hold back! “... I- … wanttobewithyou.” My words flow
like a poorly made song with an uneven tempo, unable to fully comprehend even
to myself. Dammit... I fucked up. His eyes go wide, but I'm unsure why. Did he
catch that? The answer comes when he makes a move, his body scooting closer so
our faces are inches away.
“Could you repeat that, was hard to understand you...” he says with a brow
upturned. Never mind, he didn't by that clueless reaction. Never the less, he
shortened the distance, which makes it easier to express this through my body.
Perhaps not the true statement, but this can lay the foundation. Bit
spontaneous, though I'm sure he'll appreciate it. I close the minuscule divide
of our lips in a single movement. The amount of strength behind it makes him
push right back, no protest to the abrupt affection. Our eyes close. A few
smacks is all it takes for them to part, tongues trailing over soft flesh and
over teeth. My brain shuts down of logical thoughts and the pure delight of our
mouths puckering and swirling against each other takes over. Ecstatic tingles
run through my body and the hairs on the back of my neck stand high. A hand
rises to bury his fingers into my tangled mess of hair, encouraging me to
explore the curves of his toned form. Noses brush when gliding my hand from his
shoulder to abdomen, earning an affectionate hum. Although, the bolder side of
the younger one comes forth when he shoves me backwards with the free hand to
sink me into the sheets. Our legs entwine to match our maws, the intensity
shifting tides. A thigh nudges over my groin and presses down as Kaburagi
relocates the attention to my neck.
Fuck Issa... yes, claim me.
The heat of moment causes my voice to swiftly crack out into mewls and my body
melts with those gentle nips and licks. My hips eagerly grind against his once
my grip is firm at his hips and his becomes stronger. Mouth latches to suckle
down to the sensitive flesh with drawn in breaths, enough for my back to arch
from the pain. But it feels so good. An audible pop is made when contact is
broken, a chuckle deep in his chest.
“Whoops, got a little rough there. Left a mark...” he murmurs with that
familiar guilty look. It's much cuter this time around thanks to need to adjust
his glasses. “Kept going because it sounded like you were enjoying it.” I reply
with a simple nod. It felt amazing, simple as that; not like I mind there's a
bruise.
“... you just claimed what is yours.” Reddened face turns dumbfounded, not
getting the hint one bit. Was sort of vague, so I'll give it to him in a
different way. “I mean, you -do- want to date me, correct?” Those eyes round
out even more. It's fun to tease him too, those reactions are priceless.
“Wait-wait, soooooo you were trying to say... you want to go out with me?” His
voice cracked again... dammit Issa, you're not allowed to be this adorable.
Knowing he understands me better through speech, I again attempt to say those
words.
 
“I want to be with you.” This time around, it comes just the way I wanted. As
to be expected, he responds with a blank stare and nostrils flared, like he
would only hear that in a dream and making sure this is reality. He stays
silent. “Issa... Earth to Issa~.” I wave a hand in front of his face to
emphasize the teasing, which makes him snap back after a shake of the head.
“Sorry... just couldn't believe those words came out of your mouth. You're...
serious, right?”
“I wouldn't joke about this.” I catch a glimpse of a joyful grin before he
affectionately snuggles onto my neck, his glasses tilted and nearly off his
face. There's no words, our bodies speaking for us. I do hear a sniffle though.
Is he trying not to cry? Not wanting to break the mood, I just keep him close
and the feeling of peace is around me.
 
---
 
[“Sorry man, I toooootally forgot.”]
That's his voice...
[“Yeah... but my parents took away my allowance, remember?”]
Did I fall asleep?
Peering over to source, the brightly dressed Kaburagi is sitting on the
computer chair and his phone pressed to an ear.
“Not like it was your fault.”
“Something important?” I mumble in my half asleep state, which makes him peer
over.
“Just a moment, dude.” He holds the item to his chest to muffle out his next
statements. “Sorry Hajime, didn't mean to wake you.”
“It's alright, didn't mean to do that.” I sit up and gesture towards the phone
with a finger. By the way he's talking, it has to be a friend.
“Oh! To make it short, forgot Danchiku asked me to come see a movie today, but
not like I can pay for it. Normally get paid today, but the whole contacts
thing...” He shrugs, clearly disappointed about the whole matter. Hate to see
him this way...
“I can pay for you.”
“Nonononono, no need to cover for me! Plus, gives an excuse to hang with you
more!”
“We can all go together, I'll cover my cost too. Planned to take you out for
dinner, so may as well enjoy a movie first.” That's not a lie, I actually
planned to ask him out once we were at a restaurant. You know, romantic setting
and everything, but the moment earlier felt more fitting.
“O-oh... that's so swe-eet of you...” he stammers sheepishly, “You don't have
to.”
“Issa, I want to.”
“You are so cool~!” His expression shifts into that goofy smile I adore so much
when the phone is back on his ear. “You there? … things changed a little,
Aoyagi-san is coming along and covering my paying for me if that's cool. …
yeah, he's over, so what?” One of his brows arches high. “Dude, just because I
have him over, it doesn't mean we're messing around! Gods!” I tilt my head in
confusion. He again presses the phone to his shirt to talk towards me. “Ever
since I told him I like men, he's been teasing me about it. It's all in good
fun though, he isn't being an ass. Little does he knows, hrrrrrm~?” That brows
then wiggles suggestively with it back up. “Sorry, you say something?
Connection cut out.”
 
Tch, silly man you are, Issa..
 
Be glad I love you.
***** Oh man, wasn't this supposed to be a T2 story...? *****
Chapter Summary
     (( Switching to Teshima and making this story more convoluted. Ok,
     maybe not that, but just a cluster fuck. AH WELL. Angst/self harm/
     NSFW stuff, just a warning. I'm taking this too far...? ))
Hajime... come back to me. Please.
I'm at my weakest, I haven't been able to stop crying for hours. Music,
singing, even a short bike ride down the highway didn't solve anything. I find
myself just laying on our colorless couch with face buried into the pillows;
body limp and void of energy. I'm a useless sack of meat... can't make myself
happy, so why should I bother trying to make others? There's a glimmer of hope
when my phone hums to life, the chirp of a received text occupying the silent
room. Please let it be him! There's a rush of life when snatching up and eying
the inbox; indeed my roommate being the one to contact me. I finally smile when
opening it, but it quickly diminishes.
[“Didn't make dinner, so feel free to order something if you're not up to
cooking.”]
…
It's not his normal way of texting, all spelled out for me. No simple
punctuation, no 'love you' or just a basic less than three to show his
affection... just a stale line of text. It's... not like him, not like the man
I adore so more. It's so pathetic to be upset over something so stupid, but it
strikes a chord.
I don't want to cry anymore... just go away.
My useless pleas aren't going to do anything.
The phone slips from my weakened grasp before I rush into the bathroom, vision
hazed and body trembling in anguish.
I don't want to do this... but I know it makes all the pain stop.
Rummaging through the medicine cabinet, I locate the stash of single razor
blades kept around for when Aoyagi feathers his hair. There's specialized tools
for it, but this is the cheaper and more controllable route in his eyes.
The perfect item... and they're screaming to me.
My mind is a blank space when plopping to edge of the tub and sliding off my
sleeping shorts; my upper legs fully exposed. The skin is littered with scars
from a mixture of cycling accidents and general scraps, but the underside of my
right thigh, a cluster of lines from past harm are embedded. Aoyagi is aware of
the darker parts of my younger life, all marks being years old. Permanent
reminders that I'm defective...
And now, another will be added to the collection.
The fresh razor slides smoothly through the skin, the warm trickle bringing the
ease I've been craving. Those negative feelings leak away with that crimson
liquid and tension in my upper body dwindles; pure ecstasy taking its place.
The relief is far more than I remembered, I'm actually shivering from the bliss
shooting through my veins.
Yes... I have control. I can do whatever I want to myself without consequence.
Time slowed as my eyes met the mirror across the way. Look at me... face
littered with tears and sweat with the most pitiful smile locked on my lips.
I'm human, we're naturally flawed and bound to fail. Nobody's perfect, I'm no
different from the crowds.
The blade is then quickly immersed in the kitchen garbage, along with the
sizable amount of bloodied tissues, and I wrap the wound in left over gauze
from Aoyagi's recent injury. There's a tingle of pain with every step I make,
which is incredibly satisfying. I feel alive again and those worthless beliefs
have completely vanished. Fuck... feels like I can do anything!
Although, the emptiness of the home didn’t vanish into thin air.
I have the whole night to myself, which is actually troublesome. I've always
been a social person, and when living with my folks, I've always had Keita to
bother when there was no on else. Don't think I can handle being alone for this
amount of time... maybe someone can come over? I've bothered K far too many
times recently, so I'll leave him be today. Plus, someone different would feel
nice. Change of pace, ya know? I fall back to the couch to browse through my
contacts, not phased when closing off the chat window with Aoyagi.
You have your fun with Kaburagi, I can find my own company.
No use in getting a hold Ashikiba, he's back in Hakone and rarely answers my
texts and/or calls anyway. Maybe the second-years? They can bring up
interesting topics, ignoring the inappropriate jokes from Naruko and otaku
ramble of Onoda that is. In fact, Imaizumi is the best of three. With the
conclusion, I tap send over that 'elite' and place the phone up to my ear.
There's a couple of rings before his voice fills the speaker.
“This is Imaizumi Shunsuke.” Does he not look at who's calling? He sounds like
a receptionist at the stuffy business office. Really, I should be getting take-
out from him.
“Hello, I'd like to order a creme brulee and a grande hot chocolate. With
whipped cream please,~” I say full of pep. More of an order at a cafe, but
whatever; it's sure to get on his nerves. There's a deep sigh.
“What do you want Teshima-san?” Oh ho, looks like I did by that stern reply.
How satisfying.
“I told you what I wanted, get on it~.” Silence is on the other end. Fine, I
won't have my fun. “I'll stop being a prick, just wanted to chat.”
“Way of striking up a conversation...” A rude response, but he sounds
lighthearted and amused. My intention really. I apologize for my frisky
introduction and explain the situation. The simple parts, avoiding the current
tension between me and Hajime. I just want a friend over, what's the point of
bringing up personal things? With it being a weekend and his cycling training
already out of the way, he agrees to come over for a few hours. Helps his...
driver? Butler? -Someone- will drop him off to shorten the time. Rich kids...
such an oddity. This gives enough time to fully set on that dick-like approach,
a fresh pot of tea prepared and kept piping hot. My expensive blend too, just
to lay it on thick. There's a hard knock on the door and prompts me to set the
scene. I open the door much like servant, an arm out stretched towards the
living room.
“Welcome Imaizumi-san, I have a table ready for you,” I greet in a posh tone,
including the over played accent.
“Very funny,” he says dryly when kicking off his shoes. I see a smile though,
so my job was achieved. Once comfortable, there's the normal small talk to
catch up on recent events. It hasn't been long, so nothing was too important. A
little thing to keep in mind is a Criterium happening later in month with my
past club taking part. The Sprinter's Dash I took part in was one, an intense
battle of speed and skill in a short period of time. All about saving energy
until the last moment before breaking away and taking the goal. Imaizumi plans
to join, along with Naruko and Kaburagi. This may be their last race of the
season, so it encourages me to tag along and cheer from the crowd. Seeing as
that 'idiot' is going to be there, Aoyagi is sure to come too. Who knows, maybe
watching a race together could set us back on the right path?
I'm being too optimistic...
Did make me laugh when he brought up how the drink stands up to par with the
tea served at home. That's when he caught on of just how much of a prick I'm
being today. This does convince me to make some snacks as well, that is, after
I stop by the bathroom. Was caught up in conversation, so I forgot to check how
my wound is doing. Meant to reapply the bandaging shortly after he got here,
but hey, I can't walk away from an interesting chat.
My face goes pale when my back is facing the mirror and I happen to look over
my shoulder.
Fuck... please tell me he didn't see.
Blood. It stains the middle and bottom of the shorts, the crimson contrasting
the light blue material. I must have shifted wrong and caused it to slip off.
Dammit, this is the last thing I wanted! Distressed, I slide them off to get a
better look at the damage. Indeed, the medical tape has peeled and leaves the
bandage hanging off my skin; thin trails of liquid running down my thigh.
Shit...!
My hand is trembling when filling the glass we keep nearby the sink with water
and pulling a washcloth from the cabinet. Better to keep the evidence in one
spot then to accidentally leave some on the sink basin. This needs to be
cleaned up before I retrieve a pair of replacement pants.
“Teshima-san!” suddenly erupts from outside the door, along with loud thuds
against it. Fuck, he did see! The outburst involuntarily makes me jump and
spill the water against my chest, like I was trying to clutch onto it like a
child with a stuffed animal. Although, the attempt was fruitless, seeing it
falls and shatters instantly once hitting the tile ground. Like the idiot I am,
I didn't lock the door, so the sound of it swinging open and him bolting in is
heard behind me.
 
I freeze, I can't move.
 
... don't look at me.
 
Just standing there with like a cornered animal, shirt completely soaked and in
nothing else besides my undergarments. The bleeding wound is right in his line
of sight, along with... my other scars.
 
Oh god... someone besides Aoyagi is looking at my shame.
 
This instantly makes me break out into sobs, the familiar sting of tears on my
cheeks.
 
This is a dream... tell me this a dream!
 
---
 
The awareness of surroundings dissipates, and before I realize what happened,
I'm standing in the front room; shaking and clutching the lower hem of my wet
shirt. How the hell...? Swear I hear someone yelling, but my hearing is
clogged. All there is ringing and the rapid thuds of my heart beat. Did he
carry me out here? Everything went dark for a moment... I swiftly scan over the
room, something immediately catching my eye. A dark stain is on the cream
colored cushion of our couch, no doubt of it being blood. Maybe that's what set
him off...
“Imaizumi...” I whimper in desperation, the word barely coherent through my
cries. To my relief, he emerges from the bathroom to set a pile of supplies
atop the coffee table. His face is lacking of color, like he'd seen a ghost,
when looking me straight in the eyes to speak carefully and slowly.
“I'm going to wrap this up. I need you to stand still for me.” There's a choke
in my voice when trying to reply, so I just answer with a feeble bob of the
head. There isn't another word when he gets to work, the coolness of a damp
washcloth on my skin making goosebumps trail up my arms. He isn't asking
questions? 'Why did you do this to yourself?' 'How long has this been going
on?' He seems to calm about the situation, unlike myself who is shaking up a
storm. Fuck, way to ruin a get together Junta.
“S-sorry...” I really am pathetic, but I feel like I needed to say it.
“You don't have to be sorry,” he replies once it's finished up, his eyes locked
back on my face.
“Aren't you... going to ask about it?”
“I'm not going to butt into your personal life unless you want me to.” A hand
gently places at me shoulder, the simple physical contact calming my shot
nerves. Thank you Imaizumi. There's a long pause of silence. “... let's get you
out of those wet clothes. Need me to help?”
“I'm not a child...” I respond meekly, “Can do it myself.”
“Of course, sorry. I'll go get the glass cleaned up then.” Taking the few steps
to the bedroom was more of a hassle than I wanted, my knees feeling stiff and
unable to bend. May have stopped crying, but my body is still suffering. I need
to calm down before anything else. Once seated on the edge of my former bed,
the first draw of the dresser is pulled open. Instead of fetching a dry set of
clothing, a pack of cigarettes and lighter are in my grasp. The soaked shirt is
slid off and tossed to the floor before I light one up; head rushing from the
smoke filling my lungs. Don't care I'm indoors right now... just one won't
hurt. The bedside trashcan works well as my ashtray for the time being, not
like I want to move anymore.
“Thought you were supposed to get dressed,” says the voice of my guest by the
door frame.
“Thought you were supposed to be cleaning~,” I mock back with a soft chuckle.
That's right, keep being funny. Always makes me feel better.
“Not sure where the broom is,” he admits with a shake of the head, “Should be
watching over you anyway.” My brow twitches from the remark. 'Watch me?' Does
he think I'm going to do something stupid? I bite back the urge to get
irritated to fall back to a lighthearted tone.
“Don't watch too hard, there's a lot of eye candy here to see!” The man
responds with a shake of the head and takes a seat next to me, looking nowhere
near amused. I'm not allowed to be silly today, I swear. “You don't have to
worry, I'm not going to do anything.”
“I want to make sure. Judging by what I've seen, this isn't the first time.”
He's still in control, his tone hasn't changed a bit. Straightforward, to the
point and blunt. It's like I'm talking to another Aoyagi...
“Like I'm going to do it with company here. What kind of man do you take me
for?” There's that stillness between us again, our eyes again meeting. “I bet
you're curious about them.”
“Anyone would be. No one should hurt themselves. For being such a big talker,
you have some skeletons in the closet, hm?” Now he's trying to push for
information, but I understand why. I'm a friend, and even if he doesn't look
it, he cares about my safety. You know, Imaizumi is normally the type to be
wrapped up in his emotions; expressing them so freely and speaking before he
thinks. Guess he's trying to be soft spoken for my sake.
“Then I should speak up.”
“As I said, only if you want me to listen. I'm not going to force anything out
of you.” Maybe telling someone else will help, Aoyagi has heard this a million
times by now. Although, the reasons for these cuts... I break eye contact and
stare to the ground.
“They're because of...” I start with smoke billowing from my nostrils, “...
it's hard to say this, because it makes me feel even weaker. But... they were
from jealously. My middle school times were rough, like any young man, but I
took my cycling hobby too far. I wanted, no, -needed- to win to feel like a
whole person. Something I'm so passionate about to just fail at... it was
painful.” My tears are dried up at this point, but that clenching in my chest
returns. Shoulders, stomach... everything tightens. Come on, you can talk about
this to... him. The person I was so jealous of. The one person that take really
showed me how weak I am. “Every time... I saw you on the winner's podium, I
couldn't help but be envious. Your strength, your courage, just... you. I
wanted to be that, I wanted to be you.” I take in a deep drag and glance back
up, Imaizumi's face riddled with concern. “Seeing as I never could be, I took
that pain and... well, you've seen the results. No harm in scarring a body
that's already flawed.” One last inhale is had and the butt is buried within
the debris once the flame is smothered. Immediately following, his arms wrap
tightly around my torso and pull me in. What...?
“Teshima-san, you can't become stronger until you realize how strong you
already are,” he says in a gentle tone. “You keep fighting, no matter how hard
it is, and stand proud when it's done. You're been stronger than me ever since
day one.” Imaizumi... my arms are around him to return the embrace and I slowly
nod against his shoulder.
“That's a lie... but I've mostly gotten over those feelings once learning just
how flawed you are too. They're past regrets and they should stay there.” We
hold the hug for a handful of seconds and he loosens his grasp, yet he keeps me
close.
“I do have my own faults... getting wrapped up in revenge, finding myself
worthless because one man beat me – we share a lot in common, hm?”
“We're both a little fucked up, but that's what makes us alive.”
“Sensitive creatures we are,” he mumbles with a scowl, “but that doesn't
explain the most recent one.” That can't be avoided, so I may as well let that
out as well. Already on the depressing train and it hasn't stopped. With those
regrets off my chest, it was easier to let out my present woes. Not being
enough for Aoyagi, the jealously, all the shit that's been tearing at my mind.
“Just like my younger self, I feel like I'm not worth a damn; even with having
friends that care about me. This... painful feeling of being lonely. I lost my
partner and my best friend, all wrapped up in one.”
“Who's to say he isn't your friend anymore?” he questions with a doubting
stare.
“W-well, he's been ignoring me all week! Our connection just vanished!”
“Have you considered how -he- feels about this? He's probably more shaken up
about it than you.” My eyes round out. Of course, how can I be so stupid?! I'm
the one that broke it off, I'd be distraught if I received news like that. If
anything, he's probably with Kaburagi to coup with the stress... like I've been
by smoking and having the occasional drink. And now... harming myself. It's so
obvious, our friendship won't just pop back like nothing happened. Even told
myself this will take time, yet I went to these extremes... fuck! How could I
let my emotions control me so easily?! “Even if the relationship can't rebuilt
to what it was, I know for a fact that you two can never be separated. A
friendship like won't go from one hundred to zero so easily.”
“You're right, we both need some recovery time is all. Although... you know how
much I love him. What if I can't move on, but he does? Still be friends, yeah,
but I love him too much to let go.” Is he the same or are things different in
his mind? Was the love we shared just a fling, a mistake I have yet to realize?
“As you brought up, maybe this is how you guys were meant to be. Friends. Such
thing as loving your best friend like a significant other, you know.” Good he's
positive, because I'm the opposite. My mistakes keep piling up and I'm unsure
when they'll be too much to handle. What the hell am I saying, it's already
toppling over. Just a few days is all it took me to crack under the pressure,
returning to these morbid actions. What if I do it again...? What if it
escalates into something more? “As long as we're being honest, my opinion of
you has changed over these years.” His time to open up now? Would only be fair,
so I stare back in waiting for him to continue. Instead of words, his body
moves in closer to again bring me close. Instead of the comforting hug given by
a friend, this one feels different... tender. Caring. He handles my form with a
loving touch, deft fingers curling softly on the bare skin of my lower back. I
again freeze in place and the overwhelming feeling of contact makes my heart
sink. Someone is touching me... someone wants me hold me. There's so struggle,
the desire sated by a simple touch.
No...
I need more... Imaizumi. Please fill this gap.
Our thoughts are the same when both of us lean in, the warmth of his lips
pressed to mine. There's a pull to bring us closer, my delicate form pressed to
his muscular frame. My god... how I missed this feeling. Craving more, I test
his mouth with my tongue and surprised by how quickly they parted. He met mine
eagerly, it being equality as intoxicating by a heated groan escaping his
throat. Was this the emotional catalyst I was missing? In this moment, I just…
let myself go. My body speaks before my thoughts when pressing him into the
sheets – the kiss deepening, saliva and teeth clashing in a fiery embrace.
Please don't stop me...
My hopes are solid when his hands grasp and claw at my hips, driving my hips to
meet his. There's no holding back. Breaking the kiss, I slide the end of t-
shirt to his neck and hungrily lick stripes to the smooth flesh; stopping once
reaching a nipple. Tongue smoothly rolls around the nub before taking into my
maw, earning a hiss fro my partner. Back and shoulders arch to continue to
careless grinding, the ache in my groin prevalent. So desperate... but I don't
care. It's too late to stop. Being wrapped in this lustful state, I'm not aware
of how aggressive I am until a hand buries within my hair to tug back.
“Be gentle,” he murmurs through a heavy breath.
“Are you suggesting you want to take this slow?” I reply with an amused
expression. Thinking breaking into conversation may ruin the mood, I continue
to keep things heavy by pulling at his shirt. This prompts him to sit up just
enough for to be taken off, the full bareness of his torso in my sights. You
know, I never checked out Imaizumi until now. And let me say... what a lovely
sight it is. There's no answer, instead him gesturing for me to move. Doing so,
the rest of his clothing is stripped away. Take that as a no. Getting the full
view, he's sporting some stiffness himself, but not enough for what I have in
store. A bit more teasing can do the trick. Plus, will get a closer inspection
of what he has to offer.
Seeing as he stood to his feet to knock off the clothing, I make my way to edge
of the bed and guide him closer at his hips. Being at the right height, my lips
open to slip the hardened flesh into my throat. My sights jot straight up to
see his reaction, thin lips upturned to shape a seductive smile. It suits him.
My tongue drags from the base and back up to the tip to draw circles, the
motion in repeat until his member engorges to its full extent. Having that
warmth pressed deep inside my throat makes my body shudder with absolute bliss.
Fuck, he tastes wonderful.
“You're not playing around... then neither will I,” his voice purrs when
cupping the back of the head. Slowly at first, he guides me mouth down the
length, but quickly picks up in intensity. I've only given head to Aoyagi and
I've got accustomed to his size... Imaizumi on the other hand, is larger.
Length wise that is, each trust hits the back of throat and causes my muscles
to clench in rejection. My eyes slam shut and accept the forceful bucks, the
urge to gag impossible to hold back. I quickly pull back to cover to mouth,
loud and unappealing hacks following. Gods... to think I was rough.
“And you tell -me- to be gentle...” I growl playfully when wiping at my lip.
“Looks like I had my revenge,” he scoffs back in amusement, “Did I mess it up?”
Tch, now who's being condescending?
“Nope, but I think you need to make up for that shit.” After I show off a
sinister grin, I turn around to have my knees braced against the carpet below.
My upper body lays flat to the sheets with my backside raised high as a way of
showing off my physique. May be littered with scars, but I think my well-shaped
form makes up for it. Doing a favor for him, my boxer briefs are discarded with
haste; leaving my fully naked self for him to enjoy. Imaizumi responds with a
dim chuckle and lines his length up, a few prods given to work the fluids
around. Hope I left enough saliva, otherwise this will be rough. Same time,
kinda hoping it is. A harder thrust parts the ring open and an inch slips
inside, the mixture of pain and pleasure rocketing through my veins.
Again with me in this position... but it's more than satisfying.
My face sinks into the bed when he starts to move, little teasing made before
the majority of the manhood is within my walls. His hips rock with force,
causing mine to press forward. Fuck... stuffed with my length grazing against
the edge of the bed... I'm so close to already coming. Holding back won't do a
thing, so enjoying the moment to its fullest is the best option. I buck back to
keep it hitting my sweet spot, his return to thrust deeper so it hilts on each.
My gods... it's too much~...!!
My last cry of ecstasy is enveloped in the blanket while clinging on for dear
life, those electric-like shocks filling every inch of my skin. Another
sensation is felt, a sudden rush of warmth inside when Imaizumi hits his own
after a few sloppy movements.
The way he moans... so deep and satisfied.
I could listen to them all day...
 
---
 
Strangely following the random encounter is finishing what we began, myself
getting dressed and him ridding of the disaster I left in the bathroom. That
is, after I pointed out where the broom is. There was no awkward eye contact or
talk, just continuing onward like nothing happened. How did it begin? Something
about his opinion of me... was he showing his affection innocently until things
got out of control? There wasn't another word about it, just carrying on the
day with some fresh tea and those snacks I promised. It didn't feel strange
either, like this a normal thing. In all reality, I'd like to keep it that way.
Is he embarrassed? Regretting? I'm not sure, but I guess it isn't something to
fret about. Yet.
“I was thinking...” Imaizumi says after we finish breezing through a few
channels on the television. “Would it be too much of a trouble to have me over
for the night?” Heh, he really does enjoy my company.
“Not at all,” I answer with a grin, “Nothing planned today, maybe just a few
drinks and some music. And if you're up to it, I wouldn't mind a round two...”
My guest answers without a second thought, his lips placed back on mine.
 
What's the harm?
 
There's no consequence.
 
After all, I'm free to do whatever I want.
***** Oh man, this is insane... *****
Chapter Summary
     (( Yes, yes... let me mess this up more. :D ))
[“Junta.”]
Hajime... is that you?
[“Wake up...!”]
Swear I hear his voice... am I dreaming?
“Junta!!”
My eyes spring open to the blinding light coming in from the window and the
face of my former partner greeting me inches away. With being suddenly awoke
from a deep slumber and my head racking with pain, I quickly roll to the free
side of the- … bed? That's right, I fell asleep here after having a few drinks
and sharing the night with... Imaizumi. Where did he go? The better question is
why do I feel so cold, like I'm not wearing a stitch. In fact, my underwear is
the only thing that covers me! That was an accident, must have gotten too tired
to get properly dressed.
My wound... oh shit, the bandage!! Where's the blanket?!
There's the desperate search to find the item to shield it, but I fixate on
Aoyagi once again seeing his face in clearer sights. He's holding it... along
with a cold, unforgiving scowl that immediately sends a shiver down my spine.
“Junta...!” His voice admits nothing but pure hatred, blue eyes narrowed to
fully express this. I don't need to read him, it's obvious why he's distraught.
He knows. There's no time to say my retort, the blanket is tossed in my
direction and the forces makes me topple over. The rush of adrenaline makes me
dart straight off once pushing it aside, the pulsating on my temples and
clenching of my stomach hitting with ferocity. Of all days to have a hangover!
“Hajime, I can explain!!” I wail out in a sharp breath.
“Yes Junta, please explain why you've fucking cut yourself! I'd -love- to
hear!” Voice raised, sarcasm and profanity too? Hajime... oh god, it's rare to
hear him like this. It's... frightening. The hostilely freezes me in the
hallway and his sight locks on me from across the way. “I thought you got over
this.” His voice lowered, but that snarl is still present and wracking me with
guilt.
“I thought I did too... I'm sorry.” What else can I say? I know it hurts him as
much as does me. Someone you love and care about mangling themselves... dammit,
I didn't want to upset him. Instead of the normal concern, Aoyagi is on the
brink of bursting into a blinding rage. Pale eyes narrow to silts, teeth
clenched and hands balled tight into fists; he isn't holding back.
“You're better than this, Junta! Were all my efforts for nothing?” -His-
efforts, what the hell does that mean?!
“-I'm- the one that did it, how does this involve you?!” I won't hold back
either. Seriously, why is he acting like this? No worry, questions, anything?
There's no pause, he moves forward to shorten or distance and glare straight up
at me. His cheeks are flared up in red and tufts of blonde stick to all sides
of his, a complete mess to match his current emotions. It's difficult to
analyze what he's attempting by doing this until I see a glossy layer over
those eyes. He's on the brink of tears. “Hajime... if you think I did it
because of you, you're somewhat correct. It was mostly my own worthlessness
that brought me to this extreme and, like always, I regret it. I'm an idiot, I
know.” The little speech doesn't change his actions. If anything, it made them
worse. Without a chance to react, my head jerks from a solid smack to my cheek.
“Enough! You're not worthless, when the hell are you going to realize this?!”
My blood is nearly boiling at this point, my heart thrashing against my ribcage
and face stinging from the pain. How dare he strike someone when in this
state...!!
“I told you I fucking regretted it! This is my own struggle and don't want you
to feel like the guilty party! This is -my- goddamn problem, just – !! Just
stop stop trying to help! This is a fight only I can be apart of!” My gaze is
back on him, glaring daggers and unable to hold back my frustrations. Sure, can
give me support, but Aoyagi has gone out of his way to help me. He risked his
own safely when we were younger, biking for kilometers on end in the pitch
black and pouring rain just to be next me while I cried. Granted, I wasn't
hurting myself anymore by then, but he wanted to protect me. Just in case
something went wrong. He...
…
... built me back up. He prevented me from slipping back into these ways.
If it wasn't for him... I'd probably would have taken my own life.
“Junta...” Every ounce of anger shifts to the hidden despair, legs giving in
and falling to his knees. Head is hung when droplets of tears fall to his lap
and voice starts to shake. “I want to help... please, I d-don't want to see you
like this...” Fuck... I didn't mean it like that! I do need him... I need him
more than anything!! Once kneeling before him, I pull him close without a
struggle; his face nuzzling to my bare chest.
“I know, I don't want to be like this either. You've helped so much already...”
My arms are tight around his shoulders and my own tears start to flow; there's
no use in fighting back. Hajime, you meant good intentions. I understand.
“You've wanted to keep me strong in the past, it's no different then now. It's
so hard to see someone struggle to keep me up to just keep falling. You've
always been there for me... I'm so sorry for worrying you and not being able to
stay up on my own.”
“I can't always be there for you...” he murmurs under his breath. He can't and
that's a painful fact.
“That's why I'd rather take this on my own. I can't be supported forever.
Perhaps... no – that -is- a reason I let you go. I want to become this on my
own. I need to be better for you, for everyone. You understand, right?” He nods
when lifting himself off, those long bands veiling his face. Light sniffles
fall silent when clutching my hands in his and the thick tension in the air
begins to dissipate. Of course he understands, he understands me for than
anyone. “Was a mistake, it caused a lot more trouble than I wanted it to.” Eyes
come into view between those blonde locks to and a hard scowl is at his thin
lips. I know what he's looking at, it's plainly obvious. Bruises and bite marks
are across my collarbone from my second time of sharing the sheets, again my
emotions controlling my actions. I begged for Imaizumi take me like I was some
cheap floozy just to satisfy my pleads for attention. And he did just that. In
our pause, I caught the same coloration at his neck just above the cover of the
sweater. He did the same me it seems, but...
Why do I feel so distant with him right here?
 
---
 
We sat there in silence for what felt like an eternity, it broken when Aoyagi
opens up about his actions the previous day. Unlike myself who let a man take
advantage of my unstable state of mind, he accepted Kaburagi's devotion and
fell into his arms. By the way he sounded, there's the same in him. Was he
denying these feelings just so we can be together and, in turn, make me happy?
He admitted this without hesitance, like this was good news. For him it is, but
my worse fear stood before me. He moved on so quickly! I wasn't overcome by
this though, it actually made my truths hold with a tighter grasp. I want to
become stronger for him, even if it means letting our relationship pass. Maybe
this was the sign I was correct, our friendship meaning ten times more than
love. No one can replace what we have. I followed by admitting what went down
with Imaizumi, including how we saw my marks and built me back up. Kaburagi
seen them as well when we had our night of fun, but there were 'more important'
matters at hand. Imaizumi, on the hand, had no distractions. Aoyagi and I are
talking... sharing our feelings and supporting when the other is down. As
friends.
Right, this is how it was meant to be.
In both our favors, the passing weeks went smoothy. We haven't bickered or had
any type of scuffle; I came to terms with him being gone most the evening to
work on the commission and the weekends being free due to him being with
Kaburagi. This gave time to put my passions into my school work, even planning
ahead by writing songs and training my voice. Hayashi-sensei looks up to me
like a promising student, which brings me confidence in my abilities. I'm
succeeding in something... and I'm not letting it go so easily. The small time
me and Aoyagi shared was just what I hoped for, our friendship rebuilding step-
by-step. So much that I was granted permission to share the bed again, but not
in an intimate way. He wanted me comfortable... and safe.
Just like a friend should.
 
---
 
The month is nearly at a close, this late October day being the one of passion
for my past teammates. A few hours before the race, they've gathered together
at Imaizumi's home for a sort of 'pre-race party.' It's great to see them all
again, including the handful of first years that joined after our victory at
the Inter-High. They came to cheer our three racers on, just like myself and
Aoyagi. All of us sharing time together, food and laughs around. It's
refreshing.
“You excited about today, because I sure am! Ka ka ka, I'm fired up and ready
to kick some ass!” The redhead punches into the air with bounces of the legs,
his excitement about to burst through the seams.
“It's two hours until the race,” Imaizmui comments with a sigh, “save your
energy. You'll need it to defeat me.”
“Ohhhh, hotshot is being a hotshot like always! Let's see you keep that smug
face when I cross you in the second half!” Those two will keep fighting until
the end, I swear. Some friendly rivalry never hurt. Unlike them, our third
Sohoku racer is being the calm one.
That 'genius.'
Kaburagi hasn't left my roommate's side since we got here, surprisingly open
about the relationship even in front of a crowd. Holding his hand, sitting on
his lap, the normal things couples do when starting off. I haven't felt a hint
of jealously since the declaration, thinking I was fine with the break off. But
now, I'm actually seeing it with my own eyes. The way Aoyagi is smiling and
laughing, that admiration so clear on his face... he's so happy with him. Come
on, he's a dork and a complete idiot! Even more so with those glasses... and
flat hair. There's no flair of spikes and the orange hue has fade into a light
brown. Is his 'trying to be cool' phase ending? I doubt it, he wouldn't change
that easily. Unless... is this for Aoyagi? I found myself fixated on their
interactions, even when in the middle of conversation. I couldn't look away.
We used to be like that...
“Alright, everyone listen!” The group's attention turns to the boastful Naruko
near the front door, fully dressed up in the familiar yellow and white jersey.
“I'm thinking we all should have a warmup ride! Let's bring all your spirits
into our racers today! How about it?!” A synchronized cheer fills the room in
agreement. Makes a point, would be good to stretch out those legs before a hard
battle. Although, I'm declining the offer. With my focus on school, there's
been little time to dedicate towards cycling. Hell, riding out here left me
breathing hard and exhausted. I may have taken the Inter-High, but it doesn’t
mean I'm the strongest cyclist here. I'll just embarrass myself.
“You guys have a great ride, I'll go find a spot ahead of time. Want to best
seat to see you guys race~,” I state to Naruko once most the crowd is already
out the door.
“Aww, come on Perm-senpai! Been so long since we rode with you!”
“Don't push him. I'll go keep him company,” Imaizumi says when stepping up
towards us. Tch, but you're in the race! “You go ahead. I'll get my warm up in
due time. Wouldn't want you all alone out there.”
“Guess some company wouldn't hurt.”
“Alright, alright. Silent-senpai wants to go, which is fine enough! And our
Captain is still around.” He looks over a shoulder with a cocky grin, myself
peering out the open door as well. Sugimoto stands in lead of the gathering
flock of bikes and cyclists, being the responsible leader he was meant to be.
“I thought you made a mistake by leaving him as Captain at first, but I take it
back.” Knew Sugimoto was the right choice, his growth shown promise and I'm
glad to know the team approves. “Catch ya at the starting line, hotshot!”
Naruko sprints out to join, the door then closing to leave myself and Imaizumi
in the emptiness of house. It's different without all those voices around, so
stale and lacking of energy. There was no reason for him to stay with me, a
group ride can do wonders to the moral of the racers! He should take advantage
of this instead of spending time with... me.
…
Wait-
“Been doing well?” he questions with a turn on his heels. He looks to me that
with that same expression from before, filled with worry and fully alert. Have
yet to speak with him since that night, a text or call not given by either of
us. Wonder if he was trying avoid me or is he just like Ashikiba? Words do hit
harder when the listener is standing right in front of you.
“I have! My grades are perfect and I've been connecting with Hajime again. Not
much to worry about,” I reply with honesty. Those anxious feelings became a
thing of the past. “But... I have to thank you. That night we spent together
made me see things I should have before. You're a great friend.” His expression
lights up when giving a snicker and taking a step forward.
“Just doing what I should do.”
“What, caring for a friend? You nailed that perfectly~.”
“Not exactly... but close. I never got to finish what I started. Think now's
the time...” Does he mean his opinion of me? I've been meaning to bring this
up, yet I held back for his sake. Should be something he has to face. “Your
words struck me too, your admittance of being weak. Not just saying you are,
but letting it all out to the one the started the whole thing. Your courage is
outstanding, Junta.” Hearing my first name roll from his lips... he finds me
this close, to utter that without a worry? “Your marks showed me how much pain
losing can be. It's not just tears and forced handshakes, it strikes deeper.
Never thought how the ones not on that podium felt.” Sportsmanship, eh? He
should grabbed ahold of that when joining the competitive ranks. His voice is
shaking and I swear I see a hint of red on his cheeks. Nervous, eh? What's with
this hesitance and drawing away from the big picture? “I'm getting off topic...
I'll come straight out. You've impressed me, not just by your cycling either.
Who -you- are, your strength, support and willpower are astounding.”
“Stop, you're embarrassing me...” How long does he intend on rambling? This is
ridiculous, I'm not hearing this! No one besides Aoyagi has talked to me like
this...
“I'm not done yet.” He reaches out to take my hand in his, the thumb rolling
over my knuckles when locking eye contact. My body locks up and that uneasiness
settles in the pit of my stomach; fearful of his next words. He's not... he
can't!! No one else can- “I'm thinking maybe we should... go out sometime. You
know, get to know each other more.” Whew, thought it was going to be an
admittance of love or something extreme.
“Ah, asking me out on a date, huh? Didn't know you had feelings like this for
me,~” I say in a playful tone, which does make his smile spread. Someone
else... finds me attractive? Finds me worthy of being dated? Come on, the dream
can end now.
“That wasn't an answer...”
“S-sorry, I'm unsure how to respond!” The grip on the hand tightens and he
guides it upwards to lightly peck his lips to the skin. He hasn't broken eye
contact once, which is even more nerve wracking. He's one hundred percent
serious!
“A simple yes or no would suffice.” It's more than that! This could be my next
step in getting over Hajime, but it all seems so fast. Same time, this could
just be an innocent date that turns into nothing but a nice outing with a
friend. Do I share the same feelings for him? As of now, not really... but 'get
to know each other more.' He's testing if we could work. Maybe this could sway
me? No, I'd rather have it how it was. I'm not ready for a change.
“Uhh, well... I-”
“Oh, you left the door unlocked!” The voice causes Imaizumi and I to flinch,
the hand released and promptly back at my side. Talk about sudden, why the hell
did someone come back? Looking over, the barely recognizable Kaburagi stands
with his arms folded over his chest and his head tipped to the side. “Am I
disturbing something?”
“No, not at all,” Imaizumi follows with a sigh. How disappointing, I wouldn't
have wanted this moment to be interrupted either. “Something up?”
“My bike got a flat a little down the road, so I walked it back here. Happen to
have the tools lying around to fix it? Maybe a spare tire I can borrow just in
case it can't be patched?” He offers an apologetic grin with a push of those
thick frames, somewhat embarrassed about asking the favor. At least it wasn't
something trivial.
“Mech troubles happen, that's why I'm always prepared. Wouldn't want you out of
the race over something so simple to fix. Let's go check it out.”
“A-actually, can I have a moment alone with Teshima-san first? Need to talk to
him about something... if that's ok.” I perk a brow in wonder.
“I'm fine with that. Guess you'll be out at the garage then, Imaizumi?”
“Yeah, I'll get started in the meantime. Meet you two back there when you're
done.” He gives a nod and excuses himself, the door slamming hard behind.
“Youch, that sounded angry. Means I did interrupt, sorry about that.”
“Don't get too worried, was nothing. Can always be addressed later. What do you
need from me?” Kaburagi scratches the back of his neck when approaching, eyes
at the ground. So odd to see him 'natural' looking, got far too used to those
red eyes and orange spikes. It's like I'm talking to a different person, but
he's still Kaburagi.
“I haven't talked to you for a while... lately I've been wondering if you hate
me or something. 'Cause, you know... I'm with Hajime.” He's worried about my
opinion? To think he'd be ecstatic about dating him and forget all about me. “I
don't want this to ruin our friendship, but I can understand if it does. You
must think I stole him...” To be honest, just seeing his face is making my
muscles involuntarily clench and heartbeat increase. Not in in anger, but pure
jealously. The man I let go ran into... -his- arms. What's so appealing about
him? Granted, we did have sex, but that was for fun and fulfilling a lustful
urge. The thought of actually dating him... not something I want to think
about. What does Hajime see in him?
“You didn't, Hajime did that with his own free will. Can say your notions of
you admitting your affections may have been an influence, but that could have
shown him he felt the same since the beginning.” I've known Hajime for years
now, yet he falls for a man he's known for a few months! Maybe he's in it for
the thrill of someone new and deeper feelings are void. I may never know.
“You think? He...” There's a pause with a quick bite at his lower lip. “I-
I shouldn't talk about our relationship. Would be awkward.” From what I've
seen, Aoyagi couldn't be happier. He's been more passionate about his work,
getting to school on time everyday and being overall a better person. I find my
eyes getting heavier for some reason.
“Look Kaburagi, I don't hate you, nor the bond you have...” He voice stiffens
and is replaced with a short gasp, my vision hazing over.
What...?
“Teshima-san, you're crying...!” A thin trail of tears roll down my right
cheek. I am...
“Guess I'm joyous...” That's a lie. I miss that bond... I miss everything I
shared with Hajime. What if I achieve my promise of becoming a stronger person
to never have him back? Will my hard work be for nothing? Wouldn't be
surprised, it normally isn't. Hard work doesn't bring results, it's all for
nothing. Then why the hell do I keep trying?! If he's happy with him, I
shouldn't try to interfere in the background. Know I've been subconsciously
trying to impress him during these weeks. Little things like taking over dinner
and cleaning up the dorm, anything to get his attention. Makes me more
pathetic... clinging to something that I broke off. I don't want to wait, I
need Hajime now! Small sniffles turn to full out cries when reflecting on these
thoughts, my palms quickly shielding my face once realizing my mistake. I'm
breaking down... in front of someone.
“Oh shit, what's wrong? Those can't be happy tears...” What gave you the hint,
you damn idiot?! That unbearable pain of my chest squeezing my lungs causes my
knees to quake and my stance to give. Before I could fall, Kaburagi catching me
by the shoulders and keeps me upright. “Teshima-san, say something! What can I
do?” No... get away from me! I don't need your help!
“Don't fucking touch me!” I wail out when twisting my body away. The jerky
movement causes me fall straight to the wooden floor, landing directly on my
tailbone and pain to rush up my spine. Now I really can't move... there's too
much!! The crushing heightens to the point where air is difficult to take in,
mouth hung to hopelessly gasp out. Please, not again!!
“Shitshitshitshit!” His voice repeats over and over again in a frenzy, being
just as panicked as I am. It fades off when hearing the door swing open and
rushed footsteps fill my ears. Breath, breath! Stay awake! A stillness is in
air for a few seconds before the sound of running creeps closer and closer. “I
don't know what to do!!”
“Calm down!” That's Imaizumi...? Hearing him makes my head tip upwards, the
shapes of bodies and decorations at the entrance way being blobs of color. The
fear of fainting sets in, my breaths caught on hyperventilating. Don't pass
out... you're stronger than this Junta! “Teshima-san, you need to stop. Deep
breaths, deep breaths!” The sides of my face are cupped and held to focus on
his distorted face. I catch the motion of his lips opening, then closing –
mimicking what he stated. Ignoring the pain, I do so; mouth hung to draw in a
large amount of air. It fades out and brings a surge of strength, my vision
slowly returning. “That's right, now through the nose. Slow and steady...” I
follow his actions, breathing deep through my nostrils and exhaling out in a
calm fashion. I can see again, but this pain... my damn chest! “There...
feeling better?” He releases me when I reach up to wipe away the fallen
droplets with a weak nod, completely avoiding his gaze.
I'm so useless...
***** Oh man, I wanted this section short... *****
Chapter Summary
     (( But I just keep going!! Uh, Aoyagi's PoV. ))
“I dunno... Imaizumi-san and I may not make it to the race. We really want to
watch over Teshima-san.” During a break near the outskirts of the race, a call
from Kaburagi was received. I stand in awe as he breaks down what happened,
voice still shaken and pacing from room to room. This has gotten him into a
frenzy, panicking even though the event is over. “But h-he won't look at me...
my gods, I feel horrible.”
“You have no reason to.” Please Issa, you have to control yourself.
“I DO. He got upset about us dating, I know it!” Tch, my thoughts weren't wrong
about him then; an emotional wreck who can't control his jealousy. Something is
telling me to be forgiving, but I can't shy away from the fact that it's
pitiful. Again supported to be shot down by the past, even after rekindling our
friendship and tying off loose ends. When will he let it go?!
“And? Let him be.”
“You don't feel bad at all?!”
“His tears aren't going to make me coming running back, now are they? And he
wants to take this fight on his own, so it's best to leave him be.”
“Yeah, but-”
“Teshima-san!” The voice of the second-year is heard booming in the background,
in-turn, making my partner gasp. What is going on over there?
“Shit, where did he go?!”
“He ran out the front door!” The rushed sound of footsteps fills the speaker,
followed by incoherent babbling from the pair. Junta... you really are a wreck.
Seconds pass and the clearer sound of Kaburagi breathing heavy comes in.
“He took off, his bike is missing too!” he wheezes, “Crap, now I'm really
scared!” Knowing how he's been lately, Junta probably wanted to get away from
company and calm down on his own. Doubt he'll do anything foolish too, just a
gut feeling. “Should we try to find him? Call? Anyth... -?!”
“There's nothing to worry about!” I snap to interrupt the rambling, “He's
upset, he doesn't need people shoving their way into these problems. Trust me,
he'll be fine.”
“If you say so... have a right to be worried though. Seeing him break down...
never seen him like that.”
“I know, it's a lot to take, but Junta knows better than to do something stupid
right now.” Don't think he'd make the same mistake again, he knows just how
upset it made me. And now with Imaizumi knowing his secret, there's another
pair of eyes that can judge. That may be enough to hold back. “He probably went
home, I'll call him later.” For some strange reason, I feel a pressure suddenly
envelop me. A presence, an aura you can say. One that makes my stomach churn.
What the hell... what's with this paranoia? I ignore the phone call to instead
focus on finding the source, scanning across the large crowd of spectators and
racers. Nothing catches my eye until I see a faded pattern out in the distance,
it immediately seeming familiar. Weaving through to get a closer look, it
becomes more apparent on what I spotted. “Hakone...” There's no doubt about it,
three figures in that blue and white jersey stand by a waiting tent; one being
the cause of my anxiety. “Doubashi is here...!”
“WHAT?!” Kaburagi explodes, loud enough to pull the phone away. Watch the
volume! “Was wondering why you went dead silent. I mean, yeah, you do that a
lot, but... never mind. Are you sure?”
“No mistake. He's here with Izumida and Kuroda as well.” Again Doubashi goes
out of his way to attend a race that's hours away. Even small Crits like this,
but they are bragging rights. And in the case of today, a cash prize will be
awarded to to the top three. Guessing that's why those two are here, planing to
dominate and taking it all for their school.
“Please stay away from him! I don't want you getting hurt again...” I find
myself grinning from those words. Worried about me instead of having to race
some of the strongest in Hakone. Heh, thanks Issa. “Hell, with them being
there, I'm more psyched to race~! Should tell Imaizumi-san and get my bike
fixed up right away. I'm not missing an opportunity like this!” There's that
fiery spirit I adore, knew he couldn't be down for long.
“Be safe getting here.”
“Don't worry your pretty little head. You stay safe too! Love you!” Before I
can reply, the phone chirps and goes silent. Fine, I won't say I love you back.
Excited idiot he is... and I am too.
This is sure to be an amazing race!
 
---
Once the pair met up with the rest, they went straight to rollers to get in
their pre-race warmups. They informed Naruko of having our rivals here, which
changed his carefree mindset in an instant. They all share that burning passion
to win at any cost. With twenty minutes left before the start, the racers made
their way to the line and the crowds to gather up around the blockades. Before
I could stand with the rest of Sohoku, I stop once feeling a presence behind
me. Did Junta decide to come? Turning my head, it's the last person I wanted to
see this close.
“Knew I smelled dinner around here... been a while, Bambi-chan~.” Shit, did he
hunt me down or was this a stroke of luck? Regardless of which, that intimating
wall of Doubashi is staring me right in the face. Stay clam, Hajime, he isn't
going to do anything with this many people around. Or maybe he wants to
apologize? Doesn't matter, I don't want to confront him right now. He can say
what he wants after the race is over. After acknowledging him with a nod, I
return to walking forward to join the crowd. Although, I'm again halted. Not by
a feeling, but by force. My wrist is snatched up and pulled backwards, making
me spin on my heels to fully face him. Shit...!!
“That's not how you say hi to someone... show some damn respect,” he growls
with those beady eyes narrowed to slits. Says the one who's crushing my wrist!
There's no resistance when pulling to back, a scowl given to show my distaste.
Still rude as ever. “Don't give me that look, I just want to see if I left any
damage.” There's such thing as asking, you know. Not wanting to cause conflict,
I merely stare away when he leans over to get a better look at the scar. Over
the passing weeks, it's faded to the point of barely being seen unless looking.
And he sure is, I feel those eyes wondering up and around my features. “So I
did scar you!” He's sounds far too proud of that. “Would have left a ton more
if not for that black-haired jerk. You know that prick?”
“That's none of your business,” I murmur. Now I'm really glad we don't attend
the same school, otherwise K and my other friends would be in serious danger.
This guy can swing from being a gentle animal to a ravenous beast without
warning, I have to keep my cool.
“Tch, you haven't changed a bit. Still a passive little boy who makes a great
doormat. Where's that passion from those weeks ago? From the Inter-High? Seems
that prissy man you call a boyfriend rubbed off on you. Where is that permed-
asshole anyway?” Doubashi... how dare you call Junta that! He's doing this on
purposes to make a scene, it's better not to feed his ego by getting upset.
“Hajime!!” a voice erupts in the distance. Oh no... you have the worst times of
showing up. “Found yooooou~.” Kaburagi bounces over to my side and freezes in
place once noticing who I'm talking to. “If it isn't the Pig... trying to pick
on Hajime behind my back?” Great, this is going to end badly.
“Pig... wait, is that you Orange? Holy shit, look at you!” Doubashi breaks into
a boastful laugh. “Those glasses sure bring out how much of an idiot you are.
And that hair! You look ridiculous!”
“Think I look good, thank you,” he responds with a shrug. He's not getting
agitated? That's a first. “Now, if I'm correct, there's a race about to start.
Get with the rest of your team instead of being a nuisance. Come on, let's go.”
He gently takes my hand and leads me away in a calm fashion, a bright smile
across his face.
“Don't you walk away from me!”
“Gods, forgot how annoying he can be...” Kaburagi chuckles in amusement,
clearly having fun in the situation.
“... why?” You're supposed to be at the starting line! They could disqualify
him if not there in a certain amount of time.
“Why am I not with Imaizumi-san and Naruko-san? I had a reeeeeeally bad feeling
something unpleasant may happen to you, so I came looking. Sure glad I did!” He
tilts to the side to plant a kiss square to my cheek. Issa... we're in public!
“I saw that! You little shits!!” Still in the range of Doubashi too! Why the
hell did you do that, you're giving more fuel to the fire! I clutch his hand
firmly and sink my head between shoulders, concerned about what may come. Did
he do that purposes just to toy with Doubashi? Most likely, seeing as his smile
is radiant. Teasing him just to satisfy your ego?
Brave, but idiotic.
 
---
 
To my surprise, Doubashi hasn't said a word or done anything since, even with
being right behind Sohoku at the starting line. Figured he'd continue to be a
disturbance, but I'm relieved to see the opposite. Izumida and Kuroda kept to
themselves as well, no taunting and anything to cause a stir.
“You'll cheer for Issa with me, won't you Aoyagi-san?” chirps in Danchiku who's
leaning against the guardrail nearby. I offer a smile in answer. Of course I
will. Within this tension filled air, the ring of a shot echos off the
buildings.
The race has begun on this perfect Fall afternoon.
In the normal fashion of a Crit, the large band starts off slow and closely
knit, being a pack to conserve energy and wait for the prime opportunity to
break off. Our three racers stay in a line formation with Imaizumi leading, but
they're sure to switch to keep this at high stakes. This isn't a group race,
but it's encouraged to stay with your team. There's no live camera feed to keep
an eye on them, just the sound of the announcers coming from the speakers. It's
a two lap race, so their familiar faces will pass in given time. As the crowd
anticipates to see the leaders around the bend after some minutes, my phones
buzzes against me. Checking, it's a text from... Junta? Did he come out here
and not be able to find us? His words are simple.
[“Sorry for not making it, had to do something important. Cheer for me!!]
Important? I'll figure out what that means in due time. For now, the groups of
racers come speeding around to the first checkpoint. Various school groups zip
by, Hakone close in the four place. Sohoku arrives just a few seconds
afterwords, all facing forward with a spark of determination in their eyes.
“Go Sohoku!”
“You can do it!”
“Take the goal!”
I join along in the rise of encouraging cheers from my former school, blood
boiling in my veins from sheer excitement. It's been so long since I've
experienced a live race... and the thrill is overwhelming! Memories of being
their support flashes in my mind and my voice overtakes rises over them.
“Win Issa!!” Danchiku and I shot almost in synch when he's close by. Kaburagi
does glace over to show off that prize winning smile, hearing our cries and
taking the front. He carries the burden of the second-years when fading off
down the straight, groups beginning to break off and prepare for the upcoming
end. I know you guys can do it! Take it for Sohoku! Hearts are racing during
these passing minutes, it broken when the announcers speak.
“The team from Hakone academy have had the advantage, but another group is
closing the gap!”
“That's right, it's Chiba's local school, Sohoku!” They're close!
“These six racers sure have strength, but one can take the true victory.”
“The other teams need to catch up quick if they want fight these passionate
racers!” Come on guys... it's almost time. The final sprint is drawing closer
and closer.
“They have this for sure...” Danchiku says with fingers curled to the metal
frame of the rail, “Sohoku, show your support!” They listen to words and begin
cheering their hearts out, despite not having our racers in clear sight. You
guys are amazing! It's just as exciting here as it is being on these roads.
“Looks like two are trying to break away!” shouts one of the reporters, “Could
they be the top two?”
“It's Doubashi Masakiyo from Hakone and Kaburagi Issa from Sohoku!” Already?!
“They're starting off this sprint far earlier than we believed! They're trying
to take it before anyone else!” Those two... something must have happened. Who
cares why, they're using their saved energy right now! Instead of being a few
meters before all hell breaks lose, they began at the two kilometer mark. Is
this a strategy or is it their past fueling this drive?
“They're neck and neck, folks! There's nothing stopping them!”
“They're coming!” someone yelps from the crowd. In the haze of the asphalt, two
shapes come into view. Cheers fill all corners of the street as they draw
closer, clear they're using every bit of willpower and strength to win.
“Issa...!!” The nerve wracking excitement trembles through every bone when
expressing my voice, screaming my heart out for the one I admire. His
strength... his passions for cycling, his motivation to win! Win, win for your
team! “Wiiiiiiin!!”
In a split second, the tires cross the marked line.
 
---
 
Once the exhilarating air dims and the rest of the racers make the goal, the
short award ceremony followed. In these minutes, nor me or the teammates could
find Kaburagi; like he vanished. He pedaled off in a random direction straight
afterwords and hasn't been seen since. That is, until he has to step to the
podium. Doubashi stands proud with the gold and Izumida with the bronze, but
with a labored grin, Kaburagi holds the silver trophy and bouquet high into the
air - showing off that beautiful and appreciative smile. He looks pleased, but
why did he ignore us until now? The answer comes when he's confronted shortly
after it ends.
“You idiot, we told you to wait!” I hear Naruko when sprinting over to the
location by the waiting tent.
“Where you trying to show off? That was a stupid move! We could have taken all
three places if you listened!” Imaizumi snaps right back. Great, he was
ignoring orders just to fulfill his own desires.
“Yeah, but maybe we couldn't have! Can't you guys just be happy I took second
place?! I'll give the money to the school is that makes you feel better... just
get off my back!” He's trying to make amends, I would be happy too! He was
close, only losing by a few centimeters. That's something to praise!
“Keep your damn yen, got that your own. Our school doesn't deserve your selfish
gains...” You're being too cruel about this, Naruko! Both of you! What happened
to Sohoku with me and Junta being absent, what happened to our values about
being a team? Forgive and forget, not like this race meant anything
significant. I don't want to cause anything, but I can't stand by while my
partner is being assaulted. I have to step in!
“Imaizumi, Naruko,” I say to get their attention. They both look to me with a
deep scowl, anger felt within those eyes. “He didn't follow orders, this is
true, but realize what he did. Keeping up a sprint with someone who is
obviously stronger to come that close to winning on his own.” I stand between
them and Kaburagi to be a blockage, making them only look to me. “Sohoku
shouldn't stoup down this low, we should support our teammates no matter the
circumstances.” There's a pause.
“But you're not with us anymore, Quiet-senpai! You can't-”
“Naruko.” Imaizumi stops him by holding out an arm with a sharp glare. “Aoyagi-
san isn't part of our team anymore, but he's right. This isn't the Sohoku we
made... I took this the wrong way, and for that, I am sorry.” He lowers his
head in apologetic bow, Naruko soon joining along once realizing his
wrongdoings.
“Guys... it's alright. Everyone makes mistakes,” Kaburagi chirps in with a nod,
“And I won't do it again, I promise! One day I'll stop being an idiot!” We all
share a laugh, that's not going to happen so easily! That's when the two give
their congratulations and more apologies before parting ways, Kaburagi left to
ourselves. “You're so cool.”
“Hm?”
“You defended me! Again! I... man, I suck at standing up for myself sometimes.
They should have understood what I did was amazing without you telling them! I
tried to get that across, but you did it with barely any words. You're... a
great senpai!” He flatters me too much, it's seriously embarrassing.
“Thanks... and now you have another trophy in your collection.”
“And it's a beaut too~. Screw gold, silver is waaaaay cooler! … Speaking of
which, I want to give you something.” A gift? This is out of the blue. Once his
jersey is zipped down partway, a necklace sits at his chest. I've seen it
before, a length of cord neatly wrapped around a ring he wears on occasion.
“I'm probably being too forward, so forgive me it's too much. I've... wanted to
give you something for a long time now.” He slips if off and passing it to me
with a coy smile, cheeks flared in red. “This necklace always brought me
confidence when I was younger, and it still does, but I think you need it more
than me. College is tough, all the studying and paperwork mus be a hassle! I
want you to succeed and have a great future, soooo, I thought, that maybe...
you know...” His voice trails off to an uncomfortable chuckle with eyes pointed
away, being the awkward teenager he is. It's adorable. In all reality, I
thought he wanted to date me out of lust or a passing crush, but these weeks
together showed me that it wasn't. He truly cares and wants to treat me with
utmost respect. I accept the token and slip it on, fingers rolling the silver
band to take in its beauty. A token of devotion and admiration...
“I love you too, Issa.”
 
---
 
The sappiness of the moment ends with a kiss, both our minds now on the
situation from earlier. Junta. The race took a few hours including the
ceremony, so he's sure to be back at the dorm by now. I send a call his way and
there's an answer within a second. He first starts off by asking about the
race,which I fill in the details. He's disappointed to hear, but glad one from
Sohoku was able to take a higher place. He then mentions he's at home with a
surprise waiting for me. Just what is he attempting, hopefully not another act
to try to impress me. The statement was enough to peek my curiosity though,
taking the long ride home instead of being with Kaburagi tonight. He was fine
with it, thinking Junta needed the support more than he wants attention.
There's always another night.
The lengthy ride comes to a close and my bike is parked at the normal area next
to the dorm, winds peaceful and the chirps of bugs dominating the air. What a
night, barely any wind and the temperate perfect for a late night stroll. May
just take a ride to the cafe if things with Junta go over smoothly. Entering,
the first thing to note is the figure in the living room. With long hair out
from the ponytail, K lounges on the couch with head bobbing along with the
current music being played from the computer. Junta must have gotten lonely
again.
“Cupcake! Perfect timing!” he booms when leaping to his feet. He does the kind
act of lowering the volume before speaking again. “Junta-bug is finishing up
the final touches!” Final-what? Once I get a better look at the man, his tanned
skin is much darker than it has been of late and his hair has a certain sheen
to it. Far different from his normal, unkempt appearance; his casual attire rid
of wrinkles and stains. Looking professional for once. Strapping adult, but
that doesn't distract me from the sight off to my right. From the bathroom,
Junta steps out with a brilliant smile.
… !!
His hair...!
Fluffy locks have been reduced to a length similar it was as a first year, left
side swept back to show off another feature. Across the bridge of that ear, a
barbell is seen. Being of legal age, there's nothing him from getting more.
There's something else too! When he flashes off a goofy pose seen by many J-pop
idols, his fingernails are coated in a dark purple to match the shade of his
hair. My eyes round out when seeing the spectacle, the once plain male looking
like a full fledged adult by these simple changes.
“Looking good, am I right?”
Junta... you're beautiful.
[http://i.imgur.com/0mvIWZ6.png]
***** Oh man, it goes on and on... *****
Chapter Summary
     (( Things are looking better? In some aspect. :'D))
I can't believe what I'm seeing...
“Was thinking about getting a straight perm, but K convinced me to try
something a little new. He was right about getting it cut, think it suits me a
lot more!” Junta expresses a delighted chuckle when pushing the bangs away.
“Got an industrial on both sides too, see?” Indeed, another piercing is across
top portion of his left ear to match. Piercings aren't exactly a popular or
normal thing here, especially not ones just located on the lobe, so it
automatically brings a certain vibe. Taboo, rebellious, different...
“They look nice,” I comment when hanging up my cycling gear and sweater, eyes
unable to turn away. He's absolutely stunning! Junta hasn't look -this-
attractive in years. Granted, he's always been appealing to me, but now...
“They sure do! Look great in my opinion,” K butts in with a nudge at Junta's
arm, “So stylish and sexy~. Men and women will be swarming ya!” Obviously, he
looks just like the J-pop star he dreams to be.
“Not exactly what I was going for, but I'll deal with it if the time comes.
Never thought you'd accompany me to a salon.” Our neighbor shrugs a wide
shoulder with a spunky grin.
“Needed to get my tan on anyway, so was a good excuse to get mine trimmed and
feel pampered for once. They treat you like a celebrity at that place! Plus,
got that party later, so may as well look my best. Wanted to invite you too,
Cupcake~.” Does this guy do anything besides party? Guess that means Junta is
attending, so it was sort of worthless for me to come home. Could have just
asked over the phone and saved the surprise for later. Still, I'm curious.
“What sort of party?”
“You know Halloween is happening this Monday, so my group decided to celebrate
today instead. Don't have to come in costume or anything, just a nice get
together at my local bar. Don't have to worry about your age either, your good
neighbor has that covered.”
“Right, I'm allowed there anytime thanks to him,” Junta adds, “You've been
working so hard lately, you deserve a break.” You know who I am, Junta, parties
aren't exactly my thing. Never thought he'd fall into the crowd, but this seems
to be case. K has been a major influence on him, but he's having a great time;
I shouldn't intrude on that. “Before you decide...” He turns to K. “Mind giving
me and Hajime a little alone time? Still have a bit.”
“Gotcha', don't you worry, kid. I'm come drag ya out when we're ready to go.”
He shows off that trademark thumbs up before sauntering out the front door with
a hum. Sure proud of the way he looks, nothing wrong with treating yourself.
Junta, on the other hand, got a full makeover!
“Probably would have gotten a tattoo too, but being underage kinda stops that.
Maybe for my twentieth birthday, hm? Thinking on my collarbone or chest... that
way went up on stage singing my heart out, the crowd can see it peeking just
above my shirt. Sure to get 'em fired up!” It's like earlier never happened at
all, chipper and has a spring in his step like the world revolves around him.
What brought this on?
“... why?” I simply question as he wonders to the computer to shut the music
off completely. His smile widens.
“I'm starting off with something simple. They say when your hair is cut, it's
letting go of past self to grow your new future. A stronger, changed person.
I'm done with being supported, I can handle who I am without anyone else
watching over. Buuuuut, if I want to go down the non-cheesy route, I hated my
old style! That and... well, you know I like piercings. Why I pierced my own
lobes back when I became Captain in a way of celebration.” And I'm thankful
nothing when wrong, he should have waited to get them done professionally
though. “The nails I did myself. Didn't want to cut into our funds more than I
already have. Promise I won't spoil myself for a while!” I see, this latest
attack really opened his eyes about self image. Wondering how long this phase
will last before he's back on the ground and begging for help. For now, I
respect his efforts and the first steps in becoming a better person.
Actually, it's more than respected...
This is the Junta I desire.
That proud smile, that powerful and encouraging presence. What made me love him
in the first place, his true person without despair overtaking. I gulp back the
lump developed in my throat before attempting to speak, but I stop once he
closes the distance between us. He reaches up to caress the new piece of
jewelry around my neck with a hum.
“Kaburagi's isn't it? He's treating you well, I can tell.” Times of worry and
anguish are sure to come, but here you are with that radiant smile and positive
outlook without a single care. I stare up with a blank expression, but it's
clear that he can hear my inner wishes. Junta... just a little. My pleas are
addressed when the soft peck of his lips meets my forehead. He's so warm. “You
look great today too. How about you freshen up and join in the fun? Plan to
show off my vocal skills, know you like watching me sing while drunk~.” I grin
back.
Guess I could tag along, a break doesn't half bad...
 
---
 
This was a mistake... a horrible mistake.
Putting myself in a crowd full of drunken strangers was bad enough and to also
watch Junta in this environment... it makes this more uncomfortable. Unsure if
he's like this every time with K's group of friends, wouldn't be taken aback if
it is. Hitting the alcohol straight after walking in the door, Junta has been
the center of attention the majority of the time. Be it being on stage singing
or dancing to the chipper pop music, it's hard for the other customers to turn
away. Including the women. They've been swarming around and saying cheesy ones
liners to flatter him, which seems to be working. Watching him try to flirt is
just embarrassing, clearly nervous and tripping over words. Not I would be any
better, but he sure needs some practice.
As for me, I found a seat in the back corner of the bar with a pitcher to
myself; just watching and trying to enjoy the night. I haven't touched a drop
of alcohol since that welcoming party, so each glass hits hard. Really hard. My
body is already swaying by three glasses in, the weak brew doing a good job
already. Been here for around two hours and I'm already on the verge of being
over my limit. Junta has developed a tolerance, easily able to take down shots
and stronger mixers without flinching. There's that little voice in the back of
head saying I should disapprove of this lifestyle, yet I can't deny how happy
he is. My gaze adverts when a figure approaches me.
“Hey there,” says the voice of the woman. Miniskirt, tight tank top and high
heels... someone is just begging for attention. “Mind if I sit with you?”
Great, just what I wanted. Ah well, just being here all alone is growing
boring.
“Don't mind at all,” I comment stately after a swig. She lets out a bubbly
laugh and sits across from me at the rounded table, makeup covered eyes glued
to me. I stare right back. Attractive girl, will admit. Angular face with
beautiful pink lips, brown eyes seeming to sparkle in the dim lights, long hair
up in a messy – but cute – ponytail. How's a girl like her single? At least, I
presume so by that outfit.
“Needed a break, quite the party tonight! And you looked lonely.”
“I enjoy my own company, did come here to relax.”
“You don't relax at a bar, silly! Don't think you're doing that very well with
all that glaring to the center of the dance floor. Got your eye on someone?
Jealous of the 'star' of the night?” She means that in two ways. Junta is
indeed the center of attention, but he's also wearing one of the many star
shirts in his collection. One that's lower cut to show off his delicate
neckline and just above his chest. My favorite of them actually. I glance away
with a shrug.
“He's... my ex,” I say without thinking. Think I walked down a dark alley
saying that. Damn this booze for loosening my tongue.
“Really? Wow, hard to believe you let go of a strapping man like that.” You
have no idea, lady. “I may be wrong, but judging by that necklace, you're
either holding on to past regrets or moved on. Shouldn't torture yourself,
should be having fun and enjoying your life.” I peer back to her with eyes
widened. Am I seriously getting lectured in a bar? But now that I'm paying more
attention, there's something oddly familiar about her. “Life is full of great
experiences that bring great inspiration. Take advantage of that and express
yourself.” She pours a glass for herself before standing, a warm lips across
her face. “Be glad I'm a nice person, otherwise you and your ex would be in
serious trouble. Enjoy tonight, but I expect your finished piece turned in on
Monday, Aoyagi-kun.” My mouthful of booze is spit back into the cup as she
walks back to the crowd.
My... teacher?!
She looks... nothing like her normal self! And I found her good-looking!!
Wiping at my mouth, my eyes slam shut to avoid staring any longer. Actually, I
should be relieved, she's well aware I'm underage. This could get the bar and
us into more than just trouble. Glad I'm on her good side... Shaking away those
thoughts, I reflect back on her words. She's right. There's no reason why I
should be sitting here in solitary when there's opportunities standing right in
front of me. To loosen up, have some fun and take what I can grab! I chug down
the remains portion of my drink and stomp into the crowd. I'm allowed to have
fun too! Although, before I can, I pulled by the wrist from behind; my body
thumping to someone else. What the...?
“There you are, Hajime~,” slurs the intoxicated Junta with a goofy smile, “Was
just about to come find you.” Why would he be looking for me? Guess to check up
if I'm fine, this isn't exactly my favored setting. At first I wasn't, but now
I want to. I respond with that same expression. “Having fun I take it? Let's
make it better!” He leads me to an open area of the floor before holding me
gently by the hips. “Been a while since we danced together.” My cheeks
instantly lit up in heat when his hips start swaying to the catchy beat,
encouraging to join along. Doubts loiter that this situation is wrong, but it's
just a dance. What harm could it do? Sounds fun anyway. I find myself caught up
in the thump of the music, lower body swinging along with my roommate. With
little distance between us, my eyes are fastened to his face. That narrowed
eyed gaze pierces me, shivers traveling up and down my spine. So seductive and
luring... “Told you tonight would be a blast...” My sights tunnel to the him,
the surroundings fading to just see him. If shifts when he guides me through a
one eighty turn, my back now against his chest. He keeps the firm grip and
guides me in closer, making my backside press to his hips. It's easily to feel
what's hiding under those tight jeans.
Fuck... he's so hard.
A soft moan flees my dry throat when he bumps against me and grinds, teasing
with those fluid movements. It's intoxicating, I can't pull away. Craving more,
I push right back.
“Hrrrmm~” he coos softly at my shoulder, “You're making me hot...” I bite back
on my lip and continue to rock my pelvis; earning a sharp, pleasurable groan.
“Is doing this in public turning you on? Bet your cock is throbbing right now.”
He's not lying, the pressure between my thighs is anything but tolerable. How
can I hold back with this alluring man so close? “I want to fuck you so
badly... you're driving me wild, Hajime~.” One of his hands slides just under
my shirt to trail his fingers over my abdomen, the touch burning my skin. He's
so warm... for me. Junta... I missed this. “This how you feel when Kaburagi
touches you? He can't turn you on the way I do.”
… what?
“Look how easy you are... you'd fuck just about anyone if they touched you.”
 
…
 
You...!!
 
“Junta...!” Rage boils in my veins when shoving him back at the sides, body
turning to glare daggers. He's smiling, that smug bastard is smiling!
“What? Am I wrong?” he remarks with a shrug. You heartless fucker, how dare you
toy with my emotions! I thought we were sharing a moment... even if booze and
lust driven, it was more to me than that! How can he go from being a helpless
little man to this... this monster without warning? Are these your true colors,
Junta? Is this the man you're growing into? With him being in direct line of
the front door, I push him away to clear the way; hard enough for him to go
toppling to the ground. Good, I could care less.
“W-wait, Cupcake!” Now K's trying to get my attention? Why the hell can't I
just be left alone?! The wrath builds a haze over my vision. I'm on the verge
of tears when the refreshing night air is around me, instantly relieved to be
out of that environment. “What the hell just happened in there?” Turning my
head over a shoulder, that neatly dressed K is right behind me. Dammit,
please...
“Go ask Junta,” I reply coldly, “He's your friend after all.”
“Cupca- uh, A-Aoyagi-kun, don't talk like that. You're my friend too and I need
to know if anything is-”
“Just go the hell away!!” My voice reflects in the stillness of the evening.
Fuck, didn't mean to be that loud. My point came across though, my neighbor's
expression going flat.
“Alright, I'll respect your privacy. And seeing it was your first time here,
I'll cover your tab. You want me to ask my buddy to give you a ride home?”
There's the K I came to respect, his nurturing and caring side instead of
butting into things he shouldn't. My voice lowers.
“Just give me a moment alone, I'll decide then.” Nodding, he returns inside the
building and leaves me to myself; body shaking and eyes strained from panic.
Now I feel so alone... helpless, but not like anyone in there would help. I
don't want to be alone, not when I feel this weak. I... I'm just like Junta
when at his lows. No, stop thinking of that cruel bastard! Should have never
agreed to come with, or come home. I should be with –
Issa. He should still be awake, the night is still young after all.
Pulling my phone from a pocket, it takes a while to the right buttons to send a
call. I plop down to the edge of the curb to rid of the dizziness as it rings.
“Hrm... hello...?” He sounds tired, very tired.
“Sorry I woke you up.”
“Hajime? Oh no, it's fine. Was just taking a nap. Today was tough, you know
that.” I sure do, he did try his hardest to take that gold. Still, I feel bad
for waking him; he deserves the rest.
“Sorry... I just... need someone to talk to.” My voice is hesitant and clearly
indicates my intoxication, which on the spot makes him concerned. Like he's
fully awake, Kaburagi rambles on with comforting words. 'You'll be fine, I'm
right here.' 'Is there something on your mind? I'll listen.' He's the only one
that truly cares for me. The fought back tears fall, warm trails felt down my
cheeks. “... I want to be with you... I'm so scared.”
“No, no, no, you're crying! I can... wait, I'll be right back! I have an idea!”
The phone goes silent, marking that he hung up. Knowing he'll be back, I
patiently wait for the return. These few minutes of silence are unbearable,
just leaving me with my own thoughts. Junta... you sure have changed. You're no
longer the man you were. Know there's booze involved, but that shouldn't change
you. It only brings out what he's feeling inside. He still finds me an easy
target... goddammit, I was only like that because if -was- Junta! There's a
piece of me that still longs for him and not just for the sexual satisfaction.
He's Junta, the one I'll probably forever hold closest to my heart. But to just
toy with me... fuck!! My teeth snap together and attempt to hold back my
audible sobs. Please, I want this to go away!
“Hajime!” That loving voice of my partner returns. How relieving. “Can you tell
me where you are? I have someone who can give a ride to my place!”
Issa... I can't be more thankful.
 
---
 
Once given the directions to the out of place bar in town, I wait at the curb
in silence once again. This time though, there's a comforting presence. Soon,
so soon, I'll see the one that sincerely gives a damn about my existence. Ten
minutes... then twenty. My buzz has faded to a steady, but enjoyable, tipsy;
much to my respite. Although, the sobering is causing quite the headache. I'll
either need some more booze or painkillers stat once at my partner's home. A
yellow vehicle comes into view and pulls over at the closes stop, a small
person bolting out from the passenger side and coming right for me. Those
thick, orange glasses tell me who it is without a single doubt.
“Issa!” Meeting halfway down the empty street, we lock into a tight, comforting
hug. He squeezes hard around my ribcage, not wanting to let go. But, it's
cutting off my breathing! Damn he's strong! “You're... hurting me!”
 
“Eh? Oh, oh! Sorry!” he stammers when liberating my already shaken body. Green
eyes light up when looking straight to mine. “I'm glad you're safe.” Before I
can say anything in response, a person steps out from the driver's side.
“Issa-chan~. What did I tell you about standing in the middle of the street?”
questions the voice of a female. Just who gave him the ride out here?
“Onee-chan, I'm not five anymore!” Kaburagi belts back with a growl. 'Onee-
chan?' An older sister? “But... are you ready to go, Hajime?”
 
I couldn't be more ready.
 
“I'm sorry for the trouble.” That's the first thing I said when entering the
backseat with Kaburagi, head hung low to show my apology. The woman, who looks
close to being in her thirties, shows a warm smile towards me before focusing
on driving back down the road.
“It's nothing, darling. I've had my share of parties when I was younger. Know
the feeling of being alone too,” she giggles with eyes forward, “Issa-chan owes
me big time for this favor though.”
“I sure do! This means so much to me!” Kaburagi beams when placing an arm
around my shoulder to keep me close. How embarrassing... “Thanks again, sis~.”
Didn't know he had siblings, wasn't a topic brought up in our conversations.
And judging by how small his house is, thought he was an only child.
“P-pleasure to meet a sibling of Issa...” I mumble coyly. I must sound like a
mess.
“Name's Kaburagi Tanako, the oldest of the four. The pleasure is mine!” Four?!
My partner lets out a boastful laugh.
“Have another older sister and brother too, I'm the youngest. And the most
handsome!” Says the one wearing overalls... that fashion style faded off years
ago. You know, he sort of looks like an overgrown seven year old in those, but
I couldn't care less. They suit him, bringing out that cuteness that drew me in
the first place. There's no question to my actions, I plant a kiss hard to his
cheek. “W-woah! Hajime!” Embarrassed already? Adorable.
“You have a very expressive friend,” comments the sister in a laugh. Must have
seen it in the rear view mirror.
“Actually... he's... my boyfriend.” The car suddenly comes to a screeching halt
in the middle of the empty highway, her head snapping over a shoulder and
staring straight at us. “Onee-chan?”
“I -knew- it!” she shouts with delight. Wait, what?
“Knew what?” Kaburagi questions back. He's just as confused as I am.
“That you're gay! That means I win the bet! Kenzou-chan owes me two thousand
yen!”
“You placed a bet with my older brother on -that-?!” This family is... so
strange.
“You know me, do love me a bet I know I can win! Remember when you used to wear
my old dresses when you where little?”
“Onee-chan...” Red overtakes Issa's rounded cheeks.
“Oh, oh! And when you stole okaa-san's jewelery behind her back!”
“Onee-chan...!” he growls back. Oh boy...
“And when me and our sister gave you makeovers! You danced and sung your heart
out when covered in blush and lipstick~. You looked-”
“Onee-chan!! Just please keep driving!” His head buries into my shoulder with a
whine, flustered by those old memories. If I was in his shoes, I would be too.
Now I really wish I had siblings, can grow so many fond memories together... I
never had this luxury. Sure, can be embarrassing, but at least you had people
who cared for you; more than just parents of course. Friends... people you
could trust and share your feelings with. I'm jealous, but there's still hope.
I can make memories now, with the ones I love. The ones with Junta have been
great during our high school life, but they're all a waste. Fighting, harsh
words and teasing me for his own amusement... that's just how he is now. He's
grown up and changed into a different man that's nothing but pain for me.
And I won't take it.
I'll have to find away to get away, maybe going to the extremes of paying for
my own dorm, but that's something to worry about later. As of now, I want to
enjoy being in Kaburagi's company; learning all that I can and cherishing every
second together. He's an idiot, I'm well aware, but he's -my- idiot. And I love
him. I guide his head up with a hand so our eyes can meet, his lower lip bitten
and face redder than a cherry. You charming little man... let's grow something
stronger together. Again, I find myself drawn in, lips now pressed to his. They
uncurl and push back to mine with weight, a soft moan in his throat. Do you
agree, Issa?
 
“Hey now, don't make too much of a mess back there! Just cleaned the cushions!”
 
That sister of his... wonder how his other siblings are. I'd like to meet them.
I'd like to know everything I can about this first-year.
My heart won't stomp thumping in bliss.
Issa...
I won't let you go.
***** Oh man, it's ending time...! *****
Chapter Summary
     (( Ok, this will probably be a disappointment to some of you, but
     going to end the fic off here. I could go on for weeks spitting this
     drama gabble, but the subject gets old real quick. For me and you
     guys. For all I know, I may return to it someday or simply do
     spinoffs/oneshots involved in this setup. Anyway, thanks for reading!
     ♡ ))
     (( Teshima's PoV! ))
I don't need you, I don't need anyone.
Did my new look get on your nerves? Make you wish I was yours again? I bet it
did, could feel it. Could feel your need for me. We're alike in that sense,
dormant thoughts tugging at our minds and yearning for each others' touch. And
for that old bond. Although, I'm come to accept what has changed. How both of
us changed.
I like my new life, I can't get enough it. That rebellious freedom to do
whatever I wish without someone breathing down my neck, be it a family member
or teammate. Barely any responsibility besides school, which I'm passionate
about, so there's no stress. I'm normally one to work myself half to death to
achieve results, but now that I don't have to, I want to keep it forever. This
euphoric sense of liberation.
You're happier, aren't you Hajime?
Well, so am I.
 
---
 
Living with him has been nothing but hell ever since that night, as to be
expected. It was straight back the couch once he returned the following Monday,
but I don't mind. I deserve it too, he's not going to forgive me that easily.
No troubles, can always steal the bed when he's gone on the weekends. And that
cycle continued without a hitch. Wake up, exchange cold glances during
breakfast, go to class, dorm empty until sunset, more tension during dinner and
then bed. To think we didn't talk much after the break up... believe I've heard
him say three words during this passing month. I haven't said much either. What
could I say, 'I'm sorry?' or 'Let's be friends again?' Yeah right, he's never
going to forgive me from that night. And truthfully, my words were earnest.
There's no way he could handle a relationship, not with his record. Am I
assuming too much? Possibly, yet I don't care anymore. He can do whatever he
pleases.
So can I.
During those empty weekends, I hosted a number of bashes with K and his
friends. Was nice to get out of the bar setting and relax at home without the
worry of being caught for being a minor. The safe environment also brought my
high school friends to tag along on some nights, the small dorm packed to the
brim once again. Except there's no Kaburagi or Aoyagi to mess it up. A small
victory was being able to drag Koga into the shenanigans. He's been nose deep
in study material every since I left for College, himself readying for the same
fate after his graduation. Technical College though, wanting to expand his
knowledge in mechanics. Good for him.
Was great to caught up, but it also brought the inevitable conversation about
my relationship with Aoyagi. The two were never particularly close, but there
was still a friendship and care for one another. Awkward barely explains how
that topic went over and it stirred up some old emotions. Back when we were
first-years.
Koga and I were like glue those years ago, him being my true friend in high
school. Aoyagi technically was the first person to connect with, but on a
different level. Looking back, I used him like tool to feed my pride and my
itch for victory. We were a team, nothing more. As time passed, we grew that
bond most people envied. During this, sadly, I abandoned Koga because of one
stupid thing he did during that Inter-High. Went out of way to avoid him,
pretending he's just a shadow in the corner of the club room. This made me see
something...
I'm doing the same all over again.
Old habits die hard, Aoyagi is now the victim of this abuse. Almost the same
scenario, including some shared emotions. Unknown to Koga, he was my first
crush on a male. Aoyagi was the one to break the barrier of my sexuality, but
Koga was the one to make the first strike and cause a crack. I never told
him... until now. The booze was the main factor for opening up over the
embarrassing memory and, to my relief, he took it well. Really well. Like me,
he's levelheaded when it comes to uncomfortable subjects, so he handles it from
a realistic standpoint. He wasn't disgusted or phased in anyway, he found it
healthy. That we were young, still learning about ourselves and the people
around us. There isn't a crush anymore, thankfully, but it was nice to get off
my chest.
You know, I really am blessed when to comes to friendships. I couldn't ask for
more, they always have this reassuring air that puts me at peace. But, why am I
causing strain between me and Hajime? I wouldn't do this to anyone else, so why
him? It's obvious, it has been for weeks now. I'm jealous. Of him. How he can
use his hands alone to make beautiful and expressive art, how much he's grown
stronger at cycling over a short time, his charming smile that lights up a
whole room...
 
… fuck.
 
I'm repeating another pattern. While I'm suffering through envy that can't be
easily passed, he's dealing with my darker and unforgiving side that leaves
mental wounds.
I'll never learn. I'll never redeem myself and become stronger!
I'll just remain being this pathetic person.
If not for the sway of booze, I easily would have broken down yet again in
front of company. In my favor, K disbanded the conversation with Koga, (and in
turn - my darker thoughts) to drag me out to the front room for another shot.
That's right, I'm happier this way. It numbs the mind and brings this needed
ease, something so hard to find for me. Gods, why can't I be drunk forever? I'm
free like this... can express myself without doubts. Can have fun. Can be the
person I want to be. Someone desirable. And one out for mischief.
Have no idea how glad I was to have Imaizumi here too.
Once the party slowed and night progressed, if was just me and him sharing the
remaining brew. My intentions were plain-spoken when pinning him to the floor
with my lips all over his skin. He tried to bring up our topic from before, the
whole dating thing, but I prevented that by forcing my body to his. None of
that, I just crave the sexual satisfaction he offers. To take me, call me
beautiful in spite of my flaws. This is the only attention I need from him. He
can't resist, not when he's just as inebriated. To be dominated by the one that
caused you so much pain in the past... fuck, I've never been so fulfilled.
I am weak. Take advantage of this.
 
---
 
Into the late December this continued, that same pattern. My drunken weekends
became something to look forward to, especially when Imaizumi decided to join.
True, there's the hangovers to recover from, but the hours before are worth the
pain. Never had this much fun... it's about time I did.
Our first term exams have come to a close this Friday, the Winter break started
and off to a fantastic future of good times. For these two weeks of freedom, K
has planned numerous parties; the first tonight at the local bar. Right when
the bell rang, every student rushed home to take part in their plans. I passed
the opportunity to be with my parents in this time to further indulge my new
lifestyle, the College life far more than I hoped. I have to take one detail
into hand, K will eventually graduate and be gone forever. He's grown to be my
closest friend here and someone I can always turn to; and not just for booze.
Cycling, singing, help with homework – a person I can always have a blast with
no matter the activity. Have to enjoy every moment I can have with him until
then.
Unexpectedly, when arriving at the dorm, Aoyagi's bike is parked at its usual
place. He's developed the habit to head straight to the cafe straight after
class on weekdays, so this is a rare occurrence. Hell, he even moved a pile of
his clothing and belongings to Kaburagi's home so he doesn't have to stop home
on Fridays like this. Maybe his plans changed? Curiosity dominated me when
ascending the stairs and heading inside, eyes all over for signs of life.
Nothing in the front room or kitchen, and a peek around the corner shows the
bathroom is empty - so the bedroom it is.
“Hajime?” I question to maybe get his attention, which it does. Out from the
room he steps out with that blank expression and still dressed in school
uniform. “Erm... I didn't think you'd be home.” His head cants, perhaps
surprised why I'm engaging in conversation. This -is- strange, but I'm
perplexed and wanting an explanation.
“C-commission... got done. The reveal is today,” he coyly murmurs, being just
as uneasy as I am. I had no idea! That was quick, thought it would get finished
during the break.
“That's great! You've... man, I'm impressed.” I really am. Being able to
balance school work, a relationship and getting that finished is something to
admire. How was it even possible? Sleepless nights and coffee I can only guess.
Been wondering how that's been going, but given the circumstances, can't blame
me for not asking. “Happening soon I take it?” He nods when straightening out
the blue tie, the trembling of his fingers catching my eye. He's nervous. I've
been a cruel bastard to him as of late... yet he still kept fighting to
accomplish his goals. I don't influence his life anymore, which is fine. I'm
just his party-going roomy after all. Even still, I care about him; not like I
hate him. We're just... we're not like how we used to be. “I'd like to see too,
if that's fine.”
“I.. actually stopped home to see if you wanted to come.” Even he knows I still
find enjoyment from his artwork. Frankly, I'm excited to see the results.
“Then let's get to the cafe. Wouldn't want to be late.”
 
---
 
Our ride together brought back fond memories. I felt myself drawn to ride right
behind him, our tires nearly touching when going at a slow pace down the
stretch of highway. This activity brought us together in the first place... but
it's just that. A shared interest, nothing more. It's not going to change how I
feel about him, nostalgia isn't going to force me back. Believe the same goes
for him. There was silence, not a single word the lengthy trek to town. The
cafe is packed from front to back once we arrive, the townsfolk brimming with
excitement over the change. Strange how people can get so worked up over art...
but the same can go for music, so I shouldn't judge. All sights are on the
white veil covering the large wall near the entrance, myself joining the crowd
to take part in the event.
A few minutes pass before two people step to the front, introducing themselves
as the mayor and owner of the shop. It's brief, giving thanks to the townsfolk
for funding the program and allowing this piece to exist. On queue, they
gesture for my roommate to step forward.
“The artist, Aoyagi Hajime of Koya University, we have to thank for our first
step into the project. Give him a round of applause!” The crowd does so when he
stands next to them, silently saying his thanks with a bow of the head. How
formal. He isn't anxious anymore, looking professional and putting on a
dazzling smile. “Aoyagi-kun, if you could do the honors.” With a short nod, he
steps to the right end to tug at the rope; the thin cloth fluttering to the
floor. The crowd explodes into 'ooos' and 'ahhhs' while scanning the canvas.
This is... amazing!
It's unlike his usual painting style. Hell, doesn't look like it was made by
him at all! It's new, fresh and far different than his impressionist technique.
In artist terms, this would pass as... Pop Art if I'm correct? Think-lined and
eye popping, the landscape of a sprawling city in the night fills corner to
corner. Would be a darker, cold colored piece if not for the neon signs around
the distant streets and windows brimming with dazzling colors. Can spot some of
the signs spin-offs of popular name brand foods and companies, the reference
humor being a nice touch. Would say it's boring once taking in the main lines,
but no. There's little details everywhere. Silhouettes of people and animals in
the windows, clothing lines hung between buildings and multiple other minor
things you wouldn't catch at first glance. Could stare at it for hours and
still find new things.
“How interesting!”
“Wasn't kidding about bringing the 'city life' here. What a great touch.”
“Look at those colors! It's so pretty!”
Comments fill the room, all praising the work Aoyagi put weeks of effort into.
He deserves the applause and warmhearted remarks, it's stunning. I'm...
astonished! Never expected this kind of work from him, but there it is. Aoyagi
created... something remarkable.
“Isn't it lovely?” the mayor chirps in, “Would you like to say something about
what inspired me to make this piece, Aoyagi-kun? Anything?” He answers with a
gentle nod and steps back to her side once more, that smile going ear to ear.
“First off, I'd like to thank my friend, Shimizu Yoshi, for giving me this
opportunity. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have been able to do this. He
deserves thanks as well.” As the blue-haired man steps up, the crowd gives
their applause. Like the gentleman he is, he bows his head low and gives a
friendly hug to my roommate. Thanks Shimizu, you helped Aoyagi take his first
step into the big world that is art. “As for my inspiration, I have my partner
to thank for that. He opened my eyes to try something different and express
myself in ways I never thought imaginable. He pitched a lot of the ideas that
went into this piece as well. He kept my spirits up when I was struggling... I
owe him everything for this. Issa, if you would?” Silence fills the room and
heads turn, the crowd confused when no one steps forward. Aoyagi's eyes are
glued to one spot. “Issa... that means come here.” Of course that moron
wouldn't get it.
“O-oh!! Soooorry!” Kaburagi's head sinks between his shoulders when at my
roommate's side, looking like the nervous wreck Aoyagi probably should be. Tch,
look at those two. As much I hate to admit, they do make a cute couple.
Surprised he was able to make it out here. Didn't see his bike, so someone must
have dropped him off? Got off of school early too, can only assume. Why am I
concentrating on minors things? I got what I came here for, no use in sticking
around now. I dodge through the masses as they laugh and applaud, eventually
making it back outside.
Hajime... you're the one being a better person. I'm so proud of you.
 
---
 
Before he's able to notice my absence, hopefully, I take off back down the road
through the cold of this winter. They're most likely taking part in some sort
of celebration, perhaps coffee and snacks at the shop. Regardless of what
they're doing, I don't want to be apart it. I'm anxious to meet up with K
tonight, this is true, but the main reason for leaving is I can't stand seeing
Aoyagi being this joyous. I can't see him with Kaburagi... it still makes my
blood boil. This fucking jealously... it will haunt me forever.
“Junta!!” Was that...? Peering over a shoulder, there's proof I wasn't hearing
things. Aoyagi leans into his handlebars and speeds up next to me; face lit up
in red from the bite in the air.
“Hajime? What are you doing here?” Almost half way to the dorm, he pedaled hard
to catch up. Must be easier for him to keep a decent speed, with him cycling
every day that is. Even in this frosty weather. He clicks down and gear and
keeps in pace with me; slowing his heavy breaths before speaking.
“I wanted... to ride with you.” I arch a brow and face back down the road with
a sigh. I'm not in the right mood for this, but not like he'll vanish. I'll
have to deal with it.
“Why? There's no reason to. Bet you and Kaburagi have plans for the break
already, so go be-”
“There is a reason!” My head snaps back to see the stern look upon his face,
pale blue eyes piercing into mine. What's with this tension...? Something
doesn't feel right. “This... this may be the last time we ride together.”
“What are you talking about? We can cycle anytime! Just have to ask me.” He
bites back his lip and looks down the road, going silent for the time being.
Something is -definitely- not right about this. The howling of wind and passing
cars fills the void for a handful of minutes; it finally getting on my nerves
when Aoyagi speeds up. “H-hey! Wait! Please tell me what's going on! I know
something's bugging you.” May not be able to read his thoughts, but his body
language speaks for me. He's tense, hands tight around brackets and now he's
trying to avoid me. The outcry causes him to fall back to a slower pace, but he
continues to dodge any eye contact.
“Junta...” he starts with a shake in his voice, “I'm... moving.” Moving?
“You mean to a different dorm? Figured that would happen, but that doesn't stop
us from taking a ride together.” His head shakes.
“No, moving back to the city.” That sentence immediately makes me hit the
brakes and come to a complete stop, eyes rounded in shock.
“B-but... the first term just ended! We're nowhere near done with College!”
Aoyagi notices and stops as well, his back now facing ahead of me.
“I transferred, I start at the local one once break is over.” What? I can't
believe this... things were going well! I mean, we have some problems getting
along, but a different dorm could suffice. He could stay! Unless...
“Was it to get away from me...? Am I that much of a burden?” He's running away,
isn't he? I'm too much for him... my new lifestyle is ruining his. I have built
a reputation of being the party going type around campus, so maybe people are
associating him the same because he lives with me? There has to be more than
that though... right?
“Part of it,” he murmurs while looking over a shoulder. “Kaburagi's family
business offered me a part-time job, one I couldn't pass up. It's a great
opportunity for me. I can afford my own classes and apartment this way, my
parents won't have to pay a single yen to support me. Unlike here.” He pauses
for a moment and collects himself, giving me time to comprehend what I heard.
Everything is falling into place for him! He's lucky... And more than all of
that, he gets to live closer to Kaburagi. It's too perfect...
“I-I see...” I stammer, “I'm happy for you, Hajime. Growing up so fast despite
not being eighteen yet! Moving up in the world... I hope for the best then.”
I'm stunned... there's no more I can say. He's moving on and leaving me behind.
All that excitement from the Sprinter's Dash, the announcement of attending the
same school, all those kisses and false promises.
Gone. Meaningless.
“Junta.” He gestures his head forward and arches onto his bike, signaling we
should keep moving. He's right, we should enjoy this ride together.
This will be our last.
 
---
 
That enjoyment drained without warning.
 
To further make this day filled with more dread, Aoyagi began packing right
when through the front door. There isn't much, it only takes an hour or so to
store away his belongings in those old boxes; leaving the furniture in my care.
Said he'd get his own once comfortable at his new home, so I didn't argue. He
wants to be responsible and go somewhere in his life, unlike me. What am I
saying, I'm preparing for my future! That's what College is designed to do! I
am doing something...
I'm not pathetic.
It's like it all happened in a blur, Kaburagi showed up soon afterward to help
haul the items into the vehicle belonging to one of his siblings. And he was
gone. Hajime was really gone. Thought there would be a touching moment or
something cliché, but no. Just a simple simple hug, good luck and then goodbye.
That's it. The sound of the door clicking closed in the emptiness if of the
dorm breaks what I've been holding back.
I'm not pitiful.
My face engrosses the couch's pillow while every piece of me quivers in
anguish. I was just having a little fun with him, I never thought he'd actually
leave! This isn't a horrible dream. He's not part of my life anymore.
Everything we built was made from glass, so easily shattered with a small
strike. It was bound to break. The trophies we earned over the passing years
are left in my care... to collect dust on that shelf. He didn't want them, he
doesn't want me. I accepted how we changed, yet why am I crying? Why do I feel
so defeated?!
One more, one more.
Those razor blades were taken, but the knives weren't. I need relief.
This one cuts the skin so easily, like though butter. Looks like I found a new
friend.
I'm not worthless.
K appeared shortly after my wound was treated and the news was spread. Hajime
left. He was upset, certainly, but this opened a new door. He could be my new
roommate. Shimizu is fed up with his antics anyway, so it wouldn't be much harm
to leave the dorm in his care. K can help pay for it, does bring some comfort.
Little less my parents have to pay until he graduates. My loneliness can be
sated as well, which was the main factor of saying yes to the suggestion.
I wasn't deserted.
 
Oh man... will the fun times continue?
 
I hope so.
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