Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11216736.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      モブサイコ100_|_Mob_Psycho_100
  Relationship:
      Hanazawa_Teruki/Shimazaki, Edano_Tsuyoshi/Hanazawa_Teruki
  Character:
      Hanazawa_Teruki, Kageyama_"Mob"_Shigeo, Shimazaki_(Mob_Psycho_100), Edano
      Tsuyoshi
  Additional Tags:
      Porn_With_Plot, Hateshipping, Psychic_Voyeurism, Stalking, Dubious
      Consent, Threats_of_Rape/Non-Con, non-con_fantasies, Mob_doesn't_like
      Shimazaki, Masturbation, a_lot_of_it
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-06-16 Updated: 2018-03-16 Chapters: 7/? Words: 22738
****** Observables ******
by camakitsune
Summary
     Shimazaki can watch Teruki easily. Teruki doesn't like that. So
     Shimazaki does it some more.
Notes
     idk if this was really damn obvious by the tags but uh we in for a
     little bit of a ride
***** Chapter 1 *****
Chapter Notes
     let the games begin
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Teruki had always desired a more thrilling life experience than simply going to
classes, attending high school, and getting some lame office job. Ever since
meeting Kageyama, he definitely was having some thrilling experiences. But good
grief, it was one thing after another. Of course, he had to be grateful that
Claw was gone, and apparently that whole broccoli situation got taken care of
somehow. Truthfully, he could barely compare the current situation to those
monumental events, but that didn’t mean he had to be happy about it.
He was aware that a few more Claw members decided to settle in Spice City since
the organization was dissolved. Things seemed quiet as far as they were
concerned, so he didn’t mind them so much. However, recently there was That One
Guy hanging around the place for no apparent reason other than to be a bother.
Shimazaki was very much a wild card. Eventually, Teruki accepted that he wasn’t
showing up for a fight with anyone. Regardless, the man certainly wasn’t trying
to settle into a normal, quiet life like the others, and he didn’t appear the
least bit penitent about his previous actions (on the contrary, during some of
their conversations he seemed to insist that he wasn’t sorry).
Though Teruki’s ESP wasn’t particularly sensitive, there was a distinct feeling
of being watched when the man was near, likely more from Shimazaki’s own
probing psychic powers catching his attention than from Teruki’s perception
working well at a distance. Their first few conversations occurred as a result
of him noticing that sensation and finding the man loitering somewhere nearby.
After deciding that the man wasn’t doing anything wrong (yet), he stopped
responding to his presence altogether. The idea of running to Shimazaki like
his trained dog left a bad taste in his mouth.
Hence in the meantime, Teruki ignored him, tried to seem busy with his own
social life, and hoped he got the hint. Of course, as time would have it, he
found himself chasing Shimazaki down again after all.
It started on a pretty normal midweek night. Teruki was at home, just about to
settle to sleep and taking care of some personal business before doing so. He
and Edano had been back on something like normal speaking terms lately, and
while their relationship was during that embarrassing period in his life, he
didn’t mind recalling those times they fooled around. The lights were out, and
he was lying in bed with one arm across his chest and his dick in his hand, as
was normal for a boy his age.
He kept getting distracted by the urge to check whether the apartment was clear
of others – of course it was. Yet as he kept going, the mild compulsion didn’t
go away. It, in fact, intensified to the point that when he was close, he
actually tilted his head up to see if anyone was looking into the windows. It
was frustrating as hell, but by now he was committed to finishing. So he closed
his eyes and focused, continuing to stroke himself through the stressed tension
in his belly, through the actual physical sensation of I’m-definitely-being-
watched-right-now.
Teruki curled inward and gave a vocal shudder as he came. Thoughts collected
themselves now that the task was complete. He blinked once, twice, and then was
slammed with the realization that this was an esper’s aura he was feeling. A
snarl sounded from him.
Now? Seriously?
In a hurry, he cleaned his mess and made himself decent to go outside. He
didn’t see Shimazaki anywhere from the balcony leading up to his apartment, so
he lifted himself to the roof for a better view. Even with the height and 360-
degree view, the adult esper was nowhere to be found. Teruki sounded a small
“tch” in annoyance. The other times, Shimazaki had made himself so obvious that
Teruki had to make a conscious effort to pretend not to notice him. Was this
his shitty way of demanding Teruki’s attention?
If he wasn’t going to show himself, then Teruki would need to ask for help
finding him since he wasn’t sensitive enough to pinpoint a psychic’s location
with ESP alone. Hell, he didn’t even know how close the guy had to be before
noticing him – he had never sensed Shimazaki approach, only noticed with
something of a start that he was there.
He sighed and hopped back down off the roof. Upon returning inside, he found
his phone in the dark and checked the time. 22:21. Not an obscenely late hour,
but definitely past a decent time to call someone asking for a favor. He
groaned. He really didn’t want to put this off, but poor manners weren’t his
style (except when they were). Resigning himself to make it up later by buying
lunch or something, he navigated through his contacts to call Kageyama.
Halfway through the fourth ring, he answered, voice sluggish (more so than
usual, that is).
“Kageyama-kun!” Teruki answered warmly. “Sorry to call you so late.”
“It’s okay,” he responded. Of course he would say that.
There was a brief moment of silence before Teruki realized Kageyama was waiting
for an explanation for the call. “Ah, so, I hate to ask you for a favor on such
short notice, but do you think you can help me find someone after school
tomorrow?”
“It will have to be after club time.”
“That’s fine! Whenever you have time, really.”
“Okay.”
“’Okay’ you’ll do it?”
“I’ll try my best.”
Teruki exhaled, releasing the tension he had been pulling into his chest.
“You’re the best, Kageyama-kun. I owe you one.”
He hummed, but had nothing to add.
“Okay, I’ll let you sleep now. Goodnight!”
“Goodnight, Hanazawa-kun.”
Teruki hung up the phone and placed it back on the table next to his bed. At
least he would have the best help he could get in locating Shimazaki tomorrow.
He stripped out of his outside clothes and returned to bed. Getting to sleep
would be difficult, as he could still sense Shimazaki’s presence lurking
somewhere in the area. Knowing he was there and feeling that unique aura made
the apartment feel curiously like some kind of detention cell, and Teruki
himself a subject under surveillance.
It was a disgusting, unfamiliar feeling for Teruki. He couldn’t stop
considering going right back outside and hunting Shimazaki down. A small voice
of reason reminded him that Shimazaki wouldn’t be found if he didn’t want to
be, not with the coarser resolution of Teruki’s perception and Shimazaki’s
fucking teleportation on top of it.
So he stayed in bed, trying to will himself to fall asleep and doing a much
better job of simply stewing in anger. This helplessness didn’t suit him at
all. Even if it was difficult, there was always something he could try right
away if he didn’t like a situation. But right now, he couldn’t bring himself to
ask Kageyama to come all this way just because he didn’t like Shimazaki looking
at him, even if he knew his friend would understand his frustration.
He rolled over in his bed. It would be so easy to drag Kageyama out to this
part of town, too. He could go on about how dangerous Shimazaki was; he could
make it seem so important that the man was found. Kageyama would do it,
probably with just a small amount of pressure at that. He truly was too easy to
take advantage of, especially if Teruki could dangle the boy’s own distaste for
Shimazaki in front of his face.
Teruki rolled over again. Obvious ethical issues aside, that plan was half-
thought-out anyway. If Shimazaki was trying to stay hidden right now, he
definitely wouldn’t stick around for a stern talking-to from the two of them.
As much as Teruki wanted to, he couldn’t go for the alternative of teaching the
man a lesson by immediately kicking his teeth in once he was found. Not in
front of Kageyama, at least.
This was the difficulty with trying to turn his life around and be a better
person. Doing nice things for others was easy enough. The constant self-denial
was that real beast to contend with. He absently wondered whether everyone else
had this problem, if it was normal to need to actively suppress the knowledge
that an issue can be solved with manipulation and violence, and the exact
precautions needed to get away with it.
He folded his pillow over his face and yelled into it. It was Shimazaki’s fault
he was having this annoying introspective moment. He kept grumbling internally
until he managed to sulk himself to sleep.
The next morning, Teruki noticed that Shimazaki’s aura was gone, or at the very
least, no longer detectable. He preferred to believe the former so that he
could at least have a normal school day complete with entertaining his usual
flock of classmates and sparing a hi-how-are-you to his ex.
After school, meeting with Kageyama provided a convenient excuse not to get
trapped in whatever was the trending topic of discussion for the day. (His
classmates didn’t need to know that it would be another hour and a half before
they actually met at the park.) Since it was going to be a while anyway, he
decided to just walk to Ankle Park, which was a nice midpoint between their
schools.
When he got there, a few unfriendly-looking students in Salt Middle School
uniforms were there, and as expected, Kageyama had not arrived yet. Teruki
found a bench out of the way of the others and did his best to ignore their
occasional dirty looks. Part of this was accomplished by entertaining himself
with creative ways he might have convinced them to regard him more respectfully
if he were still that old impetuous shadow leader. He absently thought that it
probably wasn’t good for his overall reformation to mentally indulge like that,
but he dismissed it as a coping mechanism.
Eventually Kageyama showed up, announcing his presence with a “Good afternoon.”
Teruki stood and returned the greeting, noticing that the other students were
now pointedly looking away.
“Thanks again for helping me on such short notice,” he said, returning his
attention to his friend.
The small, suppressed smile, a signature of Kageyama’s, appeared on his face.
“I’m glad to help.” It was a little adorable how he was allowing himself
expression lately. “Who did you need help finding?”
“I’m not sure if you remember him, but his name is Shimazaki. He was one of the
last people in the way when Claw tried to take over the city.”
“I remember him.” Kageyama was suddenly gravely serious, and Teruki couldn’t
help noticing a slight chill at the abrupt change. However little he thought of
Shimazaki, Kageyama apparently thought far less. “He visited me once.”
Teruki didn’t like Kageyama dwelling on whatever it was he was feeling toward
the man, so he steered his attention toward the task at hand. “So, do you think
you have a way to find him then?”
“Ah. Yes.”
He looked thoughtful for a moment, and then Teruki felt the torrent of
Kageyama’s power radiating out. It had that familiar, overwhelming density, and
at the same time blew past him like a mild wind. Kageyama continued searching
the city until pausing with an “oh,” and then he retracted his power.
“He’s south of here.”
“Perfect! Do you think you could point out where on a map?”
Kageyama nodded.
“Let’s use the one at the park entrance.”
He didn’t answer, but he followed Teruki’s lead toward the sign with a city map
on it. On the way, he called, “Hanazawa-kun?”
“Hm?” Teruki responded.
“Did Shimazaki do something bad?”
If Teruki didn’t have to deal with the discomfort of being in Kageyama’s
presence while he was being so severe, he would have been flattered by the
concern. “No, no, nothing that I know of, just trying to figure out why he’s
hanging around the city.”
What was he supposed to say, “Please don’t freak out but I think he was
watching me fap?”
Kageyama looked like he was trying to decide whether or not he believed that.
“Anyway, is your schedule free this weekend? I’ll treat you to lunch for going
to so much trouble for me.”
“Eh?” He looked completely blindsided. “You don’t have to do that. It wasn’t a
bother.”
They came up to the map and stopped. “But I want to. Besides, this is a huge
help since I can’t find Shimazaki by myself.”
He stared straight ahead at the sign and mumbled, “Okay.” As he started to
locate their target on the map, Teruki took a moment to be relieved that he
could at least do something to thank his friend. “Somewhere on this block is
where he should be,” Kageyama said with his finger on the map.
Teruki scrutinized the location for a moment. He wasn’t terribly familiar with
the area, but he had been there once or twice before on a “business call” with
the gang at Noodle Soup Base. After contenting himself with memorizing the
number of blocks to go in each direction, he hummed. “All right, I think I can
find him once I’m in the area. You enjoy your evening, Kageyama.”
He nodded. “Please be careful, Hanazawa-kun.”
Teruki gave a flippant wave. “I’ll be fine. Shimazaki might be a pain, but I
don’t think he’s a threat now. Anyway, I’ll see you later.”
“Goodbye, Hanazawa-kun.”
Teruki hurried off to the location. He took the fast route of jumping rooftops
– aside from not wanting to let Shimazaki escape, it was now into the dark,
chilly time of year when even now, not two full hours after school dismissal,
the sun was low in the sky and the buildings cast the city further into shadow.
As usual, he didn’t even feel a gradual increase in the intensity of the man’s
aura as he approached, only the sudden presence like a gaze over his shoulder.
He ignored the reflexive fight-or-flight feeling and pressed on. Once he
arrived at the spot Kageyama pointed out, he discreetly lowered himself to
ground level and peered around. Teruki knew he must have been noticed by now,
but Shimazaki hadn’t left the area. At least he wasn’t evading being found.
He couldn’t find Shimazaki out on the street, so he tried closing his eyes and
focusing to find the source of the psychic power hovering around him. It was
useless; the only thing he could discern was that Shimazaki was definitely
somewhere nearby without any sense of direction. He opened his eyes and just so
happened to look into a café window.
And there the son of a bitch was.
Teruki thought he might have to strain to avoid running straight across the
street when he headed to the café. Once inside, he invited himself to the
seating area and sat right in front of Shimazaki at his table.
“Shimazaki!” he greeted far too cheerfully. “So glad I could catch you!”
Of course Shimazaki could detect him coming, literally a mile away. He felt
that Kageyama kid’s fluid energy suddenly being allowed to fog up the whole
damn city, and ebbing back soon after. He sure as hell saw Teruki’s high-
intensity aura barreling toward him. Now that the boy was sitting so close in
front of him, he could see the sharp serrated edges extending from his base
shape. A cute cloak of angry little teeth, trembling at him the way auras did
when suppressed.
“Looks like you found me,” Shimazaki responded. “I wonder what brings you out
here looking for me?”
“I was just wondering what the hell you think you’re doing.”
Apparently that chipper tone was just how he hid anger. This could be fun. “Who
knows what they bring you if you’re blind, but judging by the taste, I think
I’m sitting in a café drinking a macchiato.”
Teruki’s image briefly rattled more violently. “And what were you doing
skulking around my neighborhood last night?”
“Skulking? Was I doing that?”
“I think it’s a fitting word for when you’re at home, and then suddenly there’s
an aura that feels like you’re being watched, but the person causing it is
nowhere to be found.”
“Ah, so that’s what people sense when I’m nearby.”
“Let’s stay on topic. What, exactly, were you up to?”
“I don’t see why I should explain myself to you.”
That was a nice flash of energy. “You don’t think you should explain why I was
kept awake by the feeling that you were staring at me all night?”
“I can’t help how people feel my aura. Surely you don’t expect me to close
everything out and lose the only visual aid I have? That’s a bit self-centered
if you ask me.”
“You could stop hanging out near my home.”
“No.” Teruki was boiling by now. “You don’t own the city, and you don’t tell me
where I’m allowed to go.”
“Shimazaki-san. Are you looking to ensure we stay enemies?”
He chuckled aloud. “You really want this to be about you, don’t you, Teruki? It
can be that way if you keep insisting like this.”
“I don’t recall giving you permission to call me that.”
“I need a child’s permission to use his given name? Anyway.” He stood up. “If
you really need to be the center of attention, I’ll oblige you. It should be
more fun than I’ve had in this city so far.”
“Where are you going?”
“To mind my own business. Just for a few hours; don’t worry.” Shimazaki excused
himself, leaving Teruki sitting at the café. He supposed he owed some gratitude
to the kid. Life after Claw was boring as hell. Messing with Teruki was already
more entertainment than he was expecting that day.
Finding him later was easy enough. Shimazaki returned to the area where he was
walking the previous night. Once he was there, Teruki naturally stood out
against the dimmer auras of regular folk living around him. Shimazaki
teleported to the roof of Teruki’s building. The location of his flat couldn’t
have been better, really; it was on the top floor, so there would be no signal
noise between the apartment and Shimazaki’s perch.
It wasn’t long before Teruki lit up in an irate flare. Shimazaki had been
noticed, if that little flash was any indication. Somewhat surprisingly, Teruki
did not leap out the window to attack. He didn’t even move from where he was
standing, but rather stayed exactly where he was and kept doing what he was
doing. That being washing dishes, it appeared. While he was being ignored,
Shimazaki surveyed the interior of the apartment. It was very much a student’s
flat: essentially one big room plus a bathroom, with a kitchenette on one wall,
his bed on the opposite side, and various small furniture.
Teruki completed his task, at least as much as he cared to, and began moving
around the apartment. Shimazaki noticed that he was there alone, and no
roommate would be arriving later, judging by the layout of the apartment. He
probably had his rent paid by a generous family member, in that case. Somehow,
it was no shock at all that the clearly type-A teenager kept the place as tidy
as it was without anyone there to harp about cleaning.
He was moving toward the bed. It seemed a bit early, but if he had in fact been
kept awake later than usual last night, it was fair that he’d crash early
tonight. Shimazaki prepared to leave – he didn’t plan on watching him all
night; rather, he simply wanted to make his presence known just to spite
Teruki.
Ah, but wait. He wasn’t going to sleep. At least, Shimazaki had yet to hear of
a person going to sleep in an upright position while mounting their pillow. His
hips were moving, and no, there was no mistaking it. The little exhibitionist
was humping his pillow with full knowledge that Shimazaki was in range to sense
him.
If the boy was going to suddenly give him a show this enthusiastically, he
might as well stay to enjoy it. The frustrated saw-teeth outlining Teruki’s
form were much smaller now with his current distraction. His aura was burning.
Now focusing his full attention on Teruki, shutting out everything else he
could, Shimazaki could make out his lolling head, his lazily lidded eyes, his
parted lips, the little twitches of muscle here and there. It was cute seeing
how worked up he got for the display. Shimazaki could easily fill in the vocal
sighs and excess heat of his skin with his imagination.
Teruki’s movements became erratic. Shimazaki smiled knowingly as he watched him
draw his shoulders in and squeeze the pillow with a tightened, trembling grip.
When he came, his body nearly froze, but his aura brightened and whipped about
furiously and Shimazaki adored the sensation. He made the decision right then,
placed his hands in his pockets, and made an amused sound. He was going to fuck
this brat.
Chapter End Notes
     I love my creepy Mob :3
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     Edano is here, Shimazaki and Teru hang out again, Teru faps some more
Chapter Notes
     nothing in particular to mention here, i think. enjoy
Teruki had not been acting from a place of reason last night. He knew that; he
couldn’t stop dwelling on it the next morning. At the time, it felt like a
satisfying way to tell Shimazaki that he had no intention to cower in fear just
because the man was nearby. In hindsight, it looked like a very amateurish cry
for attention. He wasn’t sure how Shimazaki was going to act moving forward,
but at least he left the neighborhood shortly after and allowed Teruki to have
a normal amount of sleep.
The school day was typical and uneventful. For once he was nothing but grateful
for the innocuous routine of classes. At the end of the day, he found a note in
his locker asking that he meet the sender behind the school. No “I think you’re
cute,” or “I have a crush on you,” or even “I heard you were talking to my
girl.” Just “Meet me behind the main building after school.”
Oh well. If it was someone looking to confess, he’d be polite, maybe go on a
few dates if they were cute enough. And if it was someone looking for a fight,
he’d decline as sternly as possible and handle his business if the situation
called for it. He tucked the note into his bag and set out to meet the mystery
note-writer. On the way, he met classmates and friends, bidding them good
afternoons and good weekends as they saw each other. He finally arrived
outdoors to a side of the building and turned the corner to get behind it.
“Edano?”
The third-year student’s head perked up and turned to face him from where he
leaned against the wall, arms folded. “Hey,” he greeted, his tone kept even.
“You left the note?” Teruki asked.
“Yeah.”
He continued to step closer to a reasonable distance for having a conversation.
“So, what’s up?” he asked, trying to recover a casual presence. “Something
about the gang?” He reallyhoped it was something about the gang.
“Teru.” Edano’s expression looked almost annoyed at the question. Teruki
couldn’t help letting his hand grasp the back of his neck and his gaze hover up
aimlessly. “Look, I know we haven’t actually talked that much since… everything
happened. But I just need to know if you think it’s even a possibility that we
could get back together.”
Teruki made eye contact and dropped his hand. Memories played before him, each
inoculating his conscience with a little more guilt. Times he called Edano a
queer or a girl just to point the sentiment at someone other than himself.
Punching Edano for calling him “Teru” instead of “Teru-san” in front of the
others. Edano’s face, red-eyed, contorted, drenched, and choking after having
his head dunked underwater.  He knew he should have said “No” immediately.
Instead, he answered with a question.
“Why? I was terrible to you.”
“I know.” Edano let his arms fall to his sides and looked down. “Trust me, I
know.”
Teruki was far out of his element. Dating people was easy. Rejecting people was
easy. He knew how to use his tone and body language as a tool to show someone
his interest or to let them down gently. Yet now, standing in front of the boy
who had erstwhile been his physical and emotional punching bag, these trained
actions failed him. Now they were both merely two uncertain teenagers
struggling just to keep looking at each other as they spoke.
Edano managed to restore the constantly-breaking eye contact before continuing.
“But you seem like you’ve calmed down a lot since then, and, I don’t know, I
just – …” His gaze started to drift again, but he forced it back onto Teruki.
“I just miss you anyway.”
“Edano. This is really sudden.”
“I know.” He pushed off the wall, and despite Teruki’s internal shouts of
“Don’t come over here,” he stepped much, much closer, so that Teruki had to
look up to keep their eyes locked. “You don’t have to answer right away,” he
reassured.
Teruki’s mind tripped over the correct response to what he knew was about to
happen.
Punch him. No, don’t punch him.
Back away? Did he know how to do that?
“Just think about it?” Edano requested.
“Yeah,” he conceded.
Ah, he could turn his head away.
Okay, time to do that.
Edano started to tilt his head down toward him, and he craned his neck to meet
Edano’s lips halfway. Ah damn it, this was what he was supposed to be avoiding.
He felt like his arms were almost itching in anticipation of seizing Edano
until he decided the kiss was over. It was already taking everything within him
not to deepen the kiss.
Sooner than he would have liked, Edano was moving his head back. Teruki
followed him upward until he no longer could and their lips were forced apart.
Their previous problem was now reversed – neither knew exactly what to say now,
but they couldn’t stop staring at each other. Teruki thought that as much as
Edano tried to act like a hardass, he was far too open and too vulnerable right
now. Edano never showed this much weakness while they were dating. The younger
of the two was damn near ready to shove his fingers into Edano’s cracks and rip
out whatever his grasp landed on for doing something as stupid as giving
Hanazawa Teruki free reign to hurt him yet again.
“So,” Edano said first. “I’ll see you around.”
“Yeah. See you.”
The senior walked away silently, hands stuffed into his pockets. Teruki covered
his mouth with his hand to keep from swearing out loud. He had not prepared to
deal with this. Until recently, he was willing to let a forced mutual silence
make Edano a ghost from his past, his refusal to apologize to the older boy the
last piece of baggage from the old days. Edano would graduate, they would go
their separate ways, and each would be ancient history to the other.
He failed to keep his damn distance. To make things worse, that embarrassingly
overeager kiss had probably all but given him away. Shit.
Just being this close to Edano again was putting him in a bad space. He had no
desire to return to the little world his ex belonged to, where hierarchies were
determined by who hit the hardest and showed the least vulnerability. Despite
that, he realized that he started to slip back into that mindset, without being
prompted, without even thinking about it, the moment they kissed.
Okay, this wasn’t the end of the world. He hadn’t said “yes” or anything. He
just got a little excited. All he had to do was decline. Give it a few days,
make it seem like he gave it some hard consideration, tell Edano he wasn’t
interested, and then put this little annoyance behind him.
He had started the day happy to be in the relatively low-stress school
environment, and now he was just relieved today was Saturday.
Teruki took a deep breath, gathered his wits, and walked confidently to the
front of the school. After saying goodbye to those acquaintances still on
campus and walking out onto the streets, another headache announced itself in
the form of an aura. He gripped his bag tighter and kept walking, refusing to
glance around the surrounding area. He made a valiant effort in pretending not
to notice Shimazaki’s presence, but finally caved once he could hear footsteps
behind his own.
“Shimazaki,” he called. “Gracing me with another visit, I see.”
“You’re in a fantastic mood,” the older esper commented. “Could I be the cause
of it?”
“No, no, just some issues with colleagues from school. I do have a life.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that last comment was a dig at me!” He
sounded almost sincere.
“No, of course not, what would make you think that?”
“Ah well. You’ve been so concerned with how I spend my free time that I
couldn’t help but to assume.”
The light turned, and the people waiting to cross moved as a group. Teruki
finally turned his head to look up at Shimazaki, smiling out of force of habit.
"We cleared that up yesterday, remember? I was worried about you watching me,
but I understand now that I had nothing to do with your presence last night. I
trust that you weren’t doing anything perverted.”
Shimazaki hung back as Teruki caught up with the other pedestrians. Tease. He
easily cleared the space between them as he crossed the street as well. “So,
any special plans for your Saturday evening?”
“You sure are interested in me.”
 “Relax, it’s called making conversation. Besides, I’m giving you the attention
you been so desperately wanting from me.”
Teruki sighed. He was really getting tired of the back-and-forth with
Shimazaki. He tried maybe just not talking. Hopefully the man would just get
bored and leave. A few moments of silence passed between them before Shimazaki
finally said, “I should go now, but one last thing,” and placed his hand on
Teruki’s shoulder with the faintest pull.
The teenager stopped walking. Anything to make him go away.
He leaned down so that he could whisper into Teruki’s ear. “You look fantastic
when you come.”
Teruki’s face twitched and arm lifted to shove Shimazaki, but by the time he
had turned around, the man was already walking away. His muscles prepared to
spring into action, but he stopped himself. He already knew Shimazaki must have
been watching last night. Following him now would be exactly what he wanted. In
a huff, he remembered his destination and resumed walking home.
In a move that came as no surprise at all to Teruki, Shimazaki returned later
that evening to make his presence known. Too damn bad for him if he was hoping
to see something spicy, Teru thought as he paused at his small desk. He had
homework to do. His pencil tapped the desk a few times, and then he smiled.
Upon consideration, he liked the idea of wasting Shimazaki’s time.
Teruki resumed working for the next hour or so, interspersing his study with
little breaks to keep Shimazaki on his toes. A long, languid stretch in his
chair, a couple of pacing laps around his flat, and maybe once or twice, he
paused to prop his chin up in one hand and lightly stroke his upper thigh with
the fingertips of the other.
When he was satisfied with the amount of work completed, he began his nighttime
ritual: getting changed out of his day clothes, brushing his teeth, spending a
few minutes on routine stretching. Finally, he got in his bed and under the
blanket. As he lay on his side, a listless hand rubbed his lower belly. Oh –
silly him – he forgot to turn the light out. Rather than flipping the switch
with his power, he got out of bed to walk to it and turn off the light. He
returned to bed, hoping Shimazaki was thoroughly annoyed by now, and settled to
fall asleep.
===============================================================================
The next day’s lunch with Kageyama was a welcome diversion from Teruki’s ex
stress and psychic stalker. Kageyama was one of those rare people you didn’t
feel the need to act in front of, giving Teruki a gentle combination of company
and mental rest.
They had finished eating and Teruki had just paid when Kageyama asked, “Are
things okay, Hanazawa-kun?”
Caught off guard by the sudden check-in, Teruki sputtered a reflexive “Of
course!” Kageyama kept looking at him until he finally continued, “What makes
you ask?”
“I don’t know. You just seemed down earlier.”
Teruki gave a quiet sigh. It was easy to underestimate how perceptive Kageyama
could be. “I just had a stressful couple of days.” He paused for a moment, then
decided there was no harm in sharing. “On top of having Shimazaki around, my ex
wants us to get back together.”
“Is that bad?”
“It – ah – it’s complicated. I wasn’t the best boyfriend back when we were
dating.”
Kageyama hummed. “But she’s not mad about it, right? If she wants to date you
again, I mean.”
“It’s a guy, actually. But I guess you could say that to some extent.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it, Kageyama-kun,” Teruki responded, trying to be
reassuring.
“Don’t you date a lot of girls, though?”
“Uh, yeah, I like both.”
Kageyama took a sip of the ice-diluted drink at the bottom of his cup. “How did
you know?”
Teruki could tell that he meant no harm in his questioning. However, he wasn’t
exactly sure how to answer. He tapped a finger on the table a few times as he
thought. “I just knew at some point during my first year. Or at least, that’s
when I first started thinking about it. But I wasn’t trying to think about it?
It just felt true.” He scratched his head. “Sorry if that doesn’t really
explain it,” he concluded a little bashfully.
“It’s okay. I don’t really get it, but if you guys like each other, I hope
things work out.”
Teruki smiled. “Thanks, Kageyama-kun.”
Having concluded their lunch and conversation, the two exited the restaurant
soon after and went their separate ways. Teruki did not yet want to go home, so
he strolled somewhat aimlessly. It was fairly early in the afternoon, so he had
plenty of time to just enjoy his weekend. He probably could even fit both a
movie and some shopping in before he had to think about dinner.
Or he could get pestered by this asshole again.
“Shimazaki, I missed you at lunch,” he greeted without facing him. “We would
have saved you a seat if you wanted to join.”
Shimazaki chuckled. “I’m glad you have a sense of humor today. But I wouldn’t
dare intrude on time with your friends without you asking first.”
“Is that it? You’re not intimidated by Kageyama-kun, are you?”
“I’m cautious. I don’t think he likes me very much.”
“That hasn’t stopped you from visiting me.”
“We’ve been through this.”
“Yeah, yeah, but sometimes I wonder if you’re just obsessing over something you
can’t get,” he responded cheekily.
As he stumbled, he realized that Shimazaki had simply curved one leg in front
of him and tripped him. He couldn’t correct himself – he was falling forward
with too much momentum – oh, that was Shimazaki’s weight, he realized just
before his face hit the sparsely grassy dirt. Wait, dirt?
They were surrounded by trees. Shimazaki’s knees dug into the backs of his
thighs painfully, one arm was held contorted against his back, and his head was
being pressed against the ground. He couldn’t believe Shimazaki had pinned him
that quickly.
“Don’t get cocky,” Shimazaki warned. “If I wanted to, I could take you anytime
I wanted. You could even scream all you like and no one would hear you.”
Teruki froze. Freezing was not something he ever did. Yet now, the boy came to
a halt entirely. He could hear a sound like occasional rushing wind through the
trees. They were somewhere on the side of a highway, maybe? In that case,
Shimazaki was completely right. He already knew the man was capable of
overpowering him both physically and psychically. No one would notice some
random sounds in the woods from inside their cars.
“That’s a cute aura.” Shimazaki’s hand released Teruki’s head and found its way
under the bottom of his sweater. Teruki tried futilely to stop the man with his
unpinned arm, but the unwelcome hand was simply on the wrong side of his body.
“I sensed this before once,” Shimazaki continued. “It was from a scared little
boy wondering what the hell I was doing inside his barrier.” Teruki jerked,
succeeding only in revealing more skin for Shimazaki to touch. He happily
indulged, sliding his hand up the side of Teruki’s belly and to the accessible
part of his chest. It pinched his nipple and pulled too hard.
Teruki had a gut instinct to burn him, to do something Shimazaki might not
expect him to do in this environment. But he couldn’t do that in the woods.
“Now that little boy is wondering if he can escape at all, and why he’s so
turned on.”
Fuck the woods.
Teruki finally managed to act. He heated the air above him until it ignited in
multiple bursts and continued to feed it until it should have engulfed all of
where Shimazaki’s torso should be. The adult esper said nothing, and his limbs
and menacing hand didn’t budge out of place.
This was bad. This was bad this was bad this was bad. Teruki quit feeding the
fire above him, and it quickly dispelled once devoid of anything to keep it
burning.
“Cruel kid,” Shimazaki commented, almost sounding hurt. “You really intended to
burn me alive, didn’t you?”
Teruki gave a pained grunt as Shimazaki shifted to stand, knees digging harder
into his thighs along the way. The man reached down toward him, and Teruki
pulled himself out of reach with his own telekinesis. Shimazaki paused with an
amused look on his face, and then was suddenly right next to Teruki, lifting
him up by his arms.
“Let go!” the teen yelped, voice breaking in his panic, and almost instantly,
he was released and standing on his own two feet. He turned his head – that was
his apartment building – and immediately took a couple steps away from
Shimazaki with a scowl.
“Hey, hey, I said I could do all that if I wanted,” he explained, as if that
was a fucking excuse. “I might fuck you if you ask nicely, though.”
“I’ll kill you,” Teruki answered in a low snarl.
“Enjoy the rest of your weekend, Teru-kun.” The man vanished, leaving Teruki
standing in front of his building alone.
“Ignore it,” he said aloud as he took his first steps toward the apartment. He
kept his eyes fixed on the stairwell along the way, then on the steps in front
of him as he mounted the stairs, then on the door to his flat as he approached
it. He was trying to remain present.
“Ignore it,” he repeated as he reached into his pocket for his keys. He opened
his door, entered, removed his shoes, and stood just past the genkan.
He couldn’t ignore it anymore.
He closed his eyes. One hand covered his mouth, his heart pounded in his chest,
and the other hand palmed the erection straining against his pants.
What if Shimazaki didn’t stop?
There was no room to doubt or question what was happening. He leaned back on
the nearest wall, lifted his shirt, and opened the front of his pants. The
memory of Shimazaki on top of him weighed heavy in his mind as he pulled his
cock out.
A moment of hesitation.
Shimazaki would let him struggle. He’d let Teruki try to squirm and kick just
to make him see how futile it was. His cock twitched.
Teruki swallowed saliva and his guilt and started to stroke himself. The image
of the two of them in the woods, his pants pulled down just enough to expose
his rear and Shimazaki shoving two fingers into him at once presented itself to
his mind. Would he even bother with that?
Probably. He was a smart man. He would take care to keep Teruki frenzied and
wearing himself out first. His smug fucking smile came into the picture as he
held Teruki down and carried on with the mockery of preparatory care. And when
he finally felt the fight from Teruki waning, he’d invite himself in whether or
not the boy was ready.
Teruki moaned aloud as he came faster and harder than he thought he even could.
His hips made confused, demanding thrusts through his climax, and his voice
kept cracking. It was damn good.
He was hot and panting. He needed to sit, yes, sitting was good. All with
telekinesis, he pulled tissues from the box on his desk, he wiped the mess he
made, and he moved himself to the chair. He didn’t trust his muscles to do jack
shit after that orgasm. His arms made a cradle on the desk for his head as he
tried to come back to his senses.
Why the hell did that just happen? He hated Shimazaki. Even in the fantasy, he
clearly wasn’t enjoying it. But just thinking about it got him so… So. Even
before he made it to his flat. Even right now.
Teruki bit his lip as he felt himself getting hard again, as if his body was
demanding that he finish the scenario. He naïvely tried to keep both arms
folded under his head as the sound of his own voice scraping half-suppressed
screams against his throat sounded in his imagination. He nestled his face into
the crook of his elbow and resumed jerking himself to the thought of Shimazaki,
too thick and too rough inside him, taunting him for being such a good body to
use, for being too weak to stop him, for wanting this all along.
He closed his eyes and submitted to the fantasy, continually adding detail. The
position of Shimazaki’s arms as he held his wrists down. The exhaustion burning
in his own limbs. The finality of Shimazaki finishing inside him with deep,
punctuating thrusts, and the following humiliating clench to keep it from
spilling out onto his clothes. Teruki managed to pull a tissue in time for his
orgasm this round. It was just as hauntingly amazing as the first, this one
sending his spine curving, his cheek pressing hard on the cool desktop, and his
eyes rolling.
The confusion and guilt came back, first gently tapping his shoulder, and then
proceeding to arrest him completely. He returned both arms to their folded
position on his desk and rested his head on top. The shame stayed, keeping him
company until the drowsiness overtook him and he dozed off where he sat.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Summary
     Teruki faps like a teenage boy. He feels a little bad about it. Oh
     hey, what about Edano?
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Shimazaki was uncharacteristically absent after delivering his little wake-up
call to Teruki. It first occurred to him that night, when he was starting his
evening ritual and noticed that he had yet to sense Shimazaki’s presence. This
initially came as a relief: maybe that event was the culmination of his efforts
to punish Teruki for playing psychic watchdog. His nerves were still
uncomfortably volatile when he went to bed for the night; he chalked this up to
the combined confusion and embarrassment over what he had done earlier as soon
as he entered his apartment.
He woke up the next morning; he went to school, attended classes, and bought
groceries afterward, all with no sign of Shimazaki. The relief that should have
accompanied this fact was as missing as the man himself. An uneasiness never
quite left Teruki during his waking hours, and as he settled into bed after the
first full day with no Shimazaki, the source of this uneasiness crystallized.
It was very plausible that Shimazaki was intentionally luring him into a false
sense of release from the stalking. As he lay in his bed in the dark, he could
go back and forth with himself over the likelihood of that for hours, but the
truth was that he had no way of coming to a conclusion unless Shimazaki acted.
And how Shimazaki would act was the kicker. The image was initially intrusive,
but Teruki was ultimately incapable of slowing the pace of his own determined
imagination. Shimazaki could teleport into the apartment in the middle of the
night, place his hands anywhere he pleased on or in Teruki, violate the boy in
his sleep. He pictured himself pretending to be asleep even after the touches
woke up him up, only to hear a whisper that Shimazaki knew he was awake and
continue to feel his hands on his body.
Teruki couldn’t understand this. He didn’t want to get molested by a man he
barely knew beyond how extremely dangerous he could be if he chose to be. He
wasn’t a pervert, nor was he some kind of messed up person who needed strange
things done to him to get off. Teruki was certain of all of this.
But that didn’t stop his hand burrowing into his boxers as he drew his head in
and shoulders up. It sure as hell didn’t stop him from stroking himself again
to the thought of being taken by Shimazaki without any say in the matter.
He submitted to the fantasy multiple times again that night. Once he started,
it was easy to forget about trying to understand it. It might as well have been
magic – it just worked, in a way he hadn’t felt anything else work this
intensely and this unfailingly before. He didn’t even want to stop; each pause
between rounds opened up a space for reflection, and the physical bliss was far
easier to steep his mind in than his disgust was. So he kept going as sweat
from his feverish body stuck his hair to his temple, overstimulating himself to
the imaginary fear bolting through him.
By the morning, there still was no sign of Shimazaki. What should have been
nothing but a massive weight off his back set him further on the edge of his
sanity instead. He refused to believe Shimazaki was gone just like that, but
once again, there was nothing he could do about this fact.
On his walk to school, he remembered that he could ask for Kageyama’s help
again. Halfway through reaching into his pocket, he stopped. He shouldn’t keep
dragging his friend into his personal squabbles with an old enemy. At best,
that would only worry Kageyama, and while he didn’t seem to be the interfering
sort, Teruki didn’t know how much looking like a victim it would take to spur
Kageyama into acting on his own. And there was a little something else keeping
his hand from grabbing his phone: he couldn’t exactly explain why, but he was
somehow embarrassed about the entire situation. Talking to Kageyama about this
didn’t necessitate telling him what he had been doing in his free time at home
lately, nor did he think Shimazaki would mention it if confronted by the two of
them. Regardless, he was too embarrassed to ask for Kageyama’s help again, for
better or worse.
He did his best to just focus on school to avoid thinking about the problem,
but the more he tried not to worry, the more he did so. His attention would
drift mid-lecture, and it invariably alighted on Shimazaki. Where was he? What
did he do all day anyway? Teruki would shift his focus on his ESP at these
points, checking in to verify that he wasn’t missing any glaring esper auras
while he was listening to lectures. And then a sudden jerk back to the class
material; he was supposed to not be stressing over this.
After school, he gave quick farewells to his classmates in passing. When
offered to join them in a trip to the mall, he declined without even
considering it. He just wanted to be alone with his paranoia for now, without
needing to get his classmates caught in the potential crossfire between himself
and Shimazaki. Along the walk back home, it finally lifted his attention,
causing him to look around intently. The aura he dreaded in both its presence
and absence was here. He didn’t see its source anywhere. Was Shimazaki hiding
while following him? Teruki wasn’t going to wait to find out.
He turned and walked into the narrow alley space between two buildings and then
lifted himself up to the higher of the two rooftops. He leaned back against the
lip of the roof, hands resting at his sides, and waited.
Teruki didn’t flinch when Shimazaki suddenly appeared beside him. His eyes did
their best to scan the adult esper without his head turning to assist them.
“Were you looking for me?” Shimazaki asked first.
Teruki opened his mouth to respond, but words failed him. His lips slowly
rejoined in reluctant resignation as his eyes returned to a neutral position.
Shimazaki gave an inquisitive hum. “I wonder if you were considering taking me
up on my offer,” he mused aloud, placing an arm around Teruki’s furthest
shoulder.
Something was simmering in Teruki, something he couldn’t exactly place a name
for, but it pissed him off anyway. “Whatever it is you plan on doing, just do
it. I’ll break your neck later.”
Shimazaki smiled and sounded off the smallest chuckle, and then he leaned down
close to Teruki’s ear. “‘Just do it,’ you said?”
He remained silent again. He realized what a stupid thing it was to say, but he
refused to take it back now that it was said. The feel of Shimazaki’s lips now
pressing just under his ear sent a jolt through him, but he managed to refrain
from making a sound.
“I didn’t know you were such a docile boy,” Shimazaki remarked.
The simmering something was now at a rolling boil. “I can skip to the part
where I knock you on your ass if you’d prefer that.”
Shimazaki gave an amused “hmph,” and Teruki could feel his lips smiling against
his skin before the man nipped him gently. His eyes went unfocused as teeth
forged a trail down his neck at a tortuously slow pace. Teruki was very much
aware that he was the mouse being batted by the cat’s paw here, and he wondered
himself what he could actually do once Shimazaki decided he was done playing
with his prey and went in for the kill. He hated how easily he was being toyed
with; Shimazaki’s touches gave an intoxicating approximation of affection, and
he nearly tilted his head to offer more skin in response.
“Teru,” Shimazaki called. “You couldn’t scratch me even if you wanted.”
“You think I don’t want to?” he growled back.
He backtracked the path with the tip of his tongue and punctuated the backwards
trek with a bite to Teruki’s earlobe. The smallest sound of pressure being
released from Teruki’s throat signaled the boy’s weakness. “I think you’re
loving this too much to try to stop me.”
The boiling something bubbled up beyond capacity of the container that Teruki’s
patience provided. He tore away from Shimazaki, and without thinking, he was
swinging a telekinesis-packed punch at Shimazaki’s face. He might as well have
punched a brick wall – Shimazaki was apparently ready for him, the only
evidence of Teruki’s strike a minor disturbance of Shimazaki’s cheek and a
throbbing pain lingering in Teruki’s knuckles.
Shimazaki straightened and leaned back against the lip of the building with a
relaxed posture. “Careful,” he advised, “you’ll just hurt yourself striking at
me like that.”
It was a sudden lash during his failure to know what else to do, but Teruki was
still disappointed to have proven Shimazaki right about his ineffectiveness
against the man. At this point, Shimazaki was always expecting an attack from
Teruki, it seemed.
“So, I guess you didn’t come looking for me because you wanted to have a good
time, then?”
Teruki took another step back, nose crinkling in disgust. “You’re out of your
mind if you think I’m going to ask something like that from you of all people.”
In literally zero time, Shimazaki reclosed the gap between them, this time
loosely closing his hand around Teruki’s neck. The boy stared up at him, still
glowering, but did not make any sudden movements that might provoke him
further. Shimazaki’s eyelids were just a little parted, revealing the unnerving
black color of the organs underneath, his expression too neutral to read. His
hand made a warm shelter for Teruki’s neck from the chilly air, and its span
jarred him with the realization of how much a child he felt before this man.
Shimazaki could choke him out right now, carry him off somewhere, and have his
way with Teruki on his own terms if the teenager refused to submit.
Instead, the hand slid downward, fingertips slowing to stroke Teruki’s collar
bone before ghosting under his shirt collar. Teruki realized his blood was
pounding audibly in his head and released a shaky sigh of mixed relief and
trepidation as Shimazaki delicately caressed the skin hidden just past the top
of his clothing.
A smile broke the mask of Shimazaki’s expressionless features. “You really
should get better at hiding what you want if you’re going to play this game.”
“Why are you skipping around trying to make me ask then, if you’re the expert
on what I want?”
Shimazaki gave an amused scoff, then rested both hands on either side of
Teruki’s neck. “Come on, I do have some decency. I can’t force myself on a
kid.”
Teruki’s mouth fixed in a hard line and his eyebrows furrowed. What the hell
did he call that field trip to the side of the highway then?
“Well, maybe I was wrong, and I just misinterpreted your reactions.” He
withdrew his hands and placed them in his pockets. “If that’s the case, sorry
for wasting your time. I’ll be going now.”
Teruki opened his mouth to say “wait,” but his pride held the air back in his
lungs before he could speak. Shimazaki disappeared without another word, and
Teruki only stared at the space where the man previously stood, dissatisfied
with the ending of the confrontation. Shimazaki would be back, there was no
doubting that now. There was no way he was done bothering Teruki.
He walked back home immersed in thought. He still had no idea if he could
believe a word Shimazaki said. And because of that, he didn’t actually know
Shimazaki’s real motive. Whether the man was just waiting for Teruki to let
down his guard to take him against his will more easily, or was planning on
badgering him for sex like a desperate virgin, or was even just taunting him
because of the newly-acquired knowledge of Teruki’s turn-ons – it was still
uncertain what Shimazaki actually intended to do. Therefore, Teruki had to
prepare for the worst of these, but how the hell do you carry out a surprise
attack on someone who already knows you’d be happier if he just wasn’t alive?
And still, Teruki felt somehow obligated to settle this himself. He still could
not overcome the unreasonable embarrassment that bloomed in his chest at the
thought of asking for help. One way or another, he was going to see this
through to the end alone.
When he returned to his apartment, his hand lifted to the side of his neck
where Shimazaki’s mouth had been. Initially, the motion slipped past his
conscious awareness, but then he stopped walking and pinched the side of his
neck with his fingernails, gentle, just like Shimazaki was. He cursed
internally as he recognized that he was mimicking the man’s uninvited touches,
but his other, equally traitorous hand lifted to stroke the skin beneath the
collar of his shirt. It was fucking unfair how the man’s touch affected him
even while he was trying to appear nothing but unimpressed by Shimazaki.
He took a deep, even breath and took the walk of shame to his bed. He couldn’t
play ignorant with himself anymore; for some messed up reason, he had a thing
for the man who had shoved his own powerlessness in his face like it was a
harmless joke. And that “thing” included the idea of Shimazaki abusing him,
feasting on that powerlessness.
The bed made its weak surrender under his weight in the place where he most
often sat. He only opened his pants, hoping that if he stayed as clothed as
possible, he would be less committed to the act, and he could detach himself
from it more easily.
Thoughts of Shimazaki’s touch placed elsewhere started him down this path. He
tried imagining the man’s large hand stroking and outlining the shape of
Teruki’s cock against his insistent protests; soft bites and light caresses
contrasting forceful entry and reckless thrusts; expert fingers and mouth
continuing to taunt Teruki well after his body was wrecked and filled.
And then his heart dropped. Shimazaki was near; he could feel it. The physical
sensation that can only be described as panic bolted through his body. In the
middle of his arrest by the deer-in-the-headlights response of his muscles, he
throbbed in his hand, the feeling almost painfully urgent. His free hand flew
to cover his mouth and stifle the overwhelmed cry that sounded as an orgasm he
was in no way ready for ripped through him.
It was humiliating; he was absolutely falling apart right here for Shimazaki to
bear witness. He no longer felt himself to be in full control of his body
anymore. It was now merely an implement to force sensation onto Teruki, either
of its own accord or Shimazaki’s.
He tried to force his hand to keep moving, despite the way it made his own
muscles convulse and voice whimper. There was a small amount of hope that if he
kept moving, Shimazaki would simply stay outside and keep watching. Displaying
like this for the man he feared, Teruki felt forced to accept it – he was a
pervert, a disgusting human, and he deserved everything he imagined happening
to him in his gross fantasies.
His hand opened when he could no longer endure it. His chest was heaving, and
his body felt weak. He dropped his head, half in fatigue, half in shame.
Shimazaki could appear in the apartment, shove him back on the bed, and do
whatever he wanted. Teruki didn’t think he had the mental strength to try to
fight anyone right now. He certainly didn’t believe he had the right to, not
after his unvarying pattern of behavior indicating that he was pining for cruel
punishment.
Was this it then? Would Shimazaki finally just teleport right in and take
Teruki? Absolute, unquestionable fear weighed on him. He knew Shimazaki could
sense it. He swallowed hard, and didn’t dare move.
And then the aura was gone. Teruki remained still, confirming that he wasn’t
imagining it. There was no mistaking it: Shimazaki just… up and left. He
released a heavy sigh and buried his face in his hand.
Shimazaki was playing with him. He just wanted to get a rise out of Teruki;
that was the only answer. At least, Teruki hoped so. He was becoming exhausted
with this, and he didn’t want to think about it anymore. Teruki regretted
confronting Shimazaki in the first place now. He just wanted to be left alone.
Despite Shimazaki’s resumed absence, Teruki had the same difficulty focusing on
anything at school the next day. Somehow, he survived the day despite the
constant urge to verify that he wasn’t being watched without his knowledge, and
despite the internal condemnation of himself as a sick person with sick
fantasies who would be served right if Shimazaki popped up at the school and
dragged him off somewhere. He must have really wanted it; there wasn’t any
excuse for how frequently and how consistently he was fantasizing about it.
When school dismissed, his friends gave their usual farewells as they saw him
preparing to go home. He did his best impression of his normal self when he
responded, but couldn’t resist wondering if they would have been anywhere near
as friendly to him if they knew what a giant deviant he actually was. Of
course, there was no reason for them to know about it, but that didn’t stop him
from feeling somehow like a fake when he talked to everyone like he was a
normal, acceptable person.
Shimazaki did not show up that night. Nor the next. Teruki thought to himself
with some bitterness that not even his stalker wanted to get too tangled up
with him after seeing how pathetic he really was. Maybe this was the best
outcome at this point: Shimazaki finally leaving him in disgust, and Teruki
taking the secret of his rape fantasies to his grave, trying his best to pass
as a sane person in the meantime.
Another morning rolled around, and at least at school, Teruki was able to
experience a little less stress without the immediate fear of Shimazaki
suddenly appearing somewhere. After dismissal, while peering across the stream
of students leaving the school grounds, he noticed Edano on his way out to the
front courtyard. He rerouted himself so that his path would intersect with the
senior’s. It was Friday now, and Edano deserved an answer.
“Good afternoon, senpai,” he greeted politely.
“Hey, Teru,” Edano answered, struggling to mask any nervousness.
“Do you have a minute before you leave?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.” He lowered his voice. “Let’s meet at the same place.”
“Alright,” came the quiet reply.
Teruki gave a small nod before stepping off to circle back toward the main
building and walk behind it. Along the way, he thought about how he should
reject Edano gently, and in doing so got distracted by how ridiculous it was
that he had to do this in the first place. Edano should have had the sense to
want to stay far, far away from Teruki. His classmates may have had no idea how
awful he was, but Edano had more than enough firsthand experience to know
better than to want and accept him. He knew what he was trying to get himself
into.
The aforementioned student soon appeared from around the corner of the
building. He walked calmly and kept his expression neutral, but Teruki already
knew the other boy’s nerves were a wreck by now. He must have been out of his
mind to be so ready to forgive Teruki’s past abuses. Better make this quick.
“Edano, I uh, I…”
Damn, not a good start at all. Come on, Teruki wanted to say to himself, you’re
more articulate than that.
“I thought about your question,” he finally said. Stalling, very smooth.
Edano simply waited for him to continue. Why was this idiot just prepared to
accept him, flaws and all?
Ah, wait. Suddenly, it made sense. Edano already understood what Teruki was
capable of in his worst times. So what did he need Teruki to protect him from?
He knew what he was getting himself into, after all.
This time, Teruki stepped closer so that their personal bubbles overlapped. “I
miss you too, Edano.”
Edano parted his lips, trying to say something, but ultimately he only asked,
“Yeah?”
“Yes,” Teruki confirmed, arms wrapping around the back of Edano’s neck as if to
externalize his hold on the older boy’s heart.
He responded by taking hold of Teruki’s waist and hugging him close. “I’m…
really damn glad,” he responded, a tiny relieved smile beginning to pull the
corners of his mouth.
Teruki gave a slight tug, prompting him to lean down so that each of the two
could rest his head on the other’s shoulder. “Tsuyoshi-kun,” he purred into the
ear in front of him.
Edano squeezed him tighter and released a shaky sigh. “Yeah?”
Teruki pressed a kiss to his neck and smiled at the audibly sharp inhalation
that resulted. “Come home with me.”
Edano didn’t need to be told twice. “Alright.”
Chapter End Notes
     i didn't mean to get so angsty man but rape fantasies, how the fuck
     do they work?
     thanks again for reading, please give a review if you like: something
     you liked, a speculation, or even constructive criticism.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Summary
     Teru and Edano get reacquainted. Shimazaki gets a visit from Teruki.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
The first thing Edano did upon entering Teruki’s apartment was take off his
shoes at the genkan.
The second and much more important thing he did was wrap Teruki in a hug and
hold him.
Teruki was not the romantic type. He knew how to do romantic things when the
situation called for it, but he personally had never been someone who felt
deeply moved by the affectionate gestures of his previous dates and admirers.
Which was why the warmth he felt when Edano hugged him and when he hugged back
came as a surprise. Edano was comfortable, safe, straightforward. Teruki could
be sure a hug was a hug and a kiss was a kiss and that there were no ulterior
motives or mind games attached. That was already more than he could say about
himself when they were first dating.
“Teru,” Edano called.
“Hm?”
“You’ve gotten rounder.”
Teruki smiled into his shoulder. “You actually believe that?”
“How many times have you let me hug you without freaking out at me about it?”
Two, maybe three times, not counting today? Teruki tilted his head to look at
Edano’s face. “All that tells me is that you’re crazy for wanting me back,” he
answered, a small amount of mischief rising to the surface.
Edano returned the gaze. “Someone has to put up with your crazy ass.”
Teruki laughed, then lifted a hand to pull Edano’s head closer for a kiss.
Edano easily let him do as he pleased. Perhaps this was all he needed:
something constant and familiar and malleable to maintain some control over. If
Edano was going to offer himself so eagerly, Teruki couldn’t help but accept.
They parted, and he couldn’t help placing one more kiss on Edano’s neck.
“Tsuyoshi.”
Edano was in the middle of taking a deep breath to keep himself grounded.
“Huh?"
“Go sit on my bed.”
His arms released their hold, but his hands lingered briefly to squeeze either
side of Teruki’s waist. “Alright,” he responded before pulling off completely
to do as instructed. Teruki watched him, and it felt like watching a puzzle
assemble itself, each piece falling into a satisfying lock with the next. He
could tell Edano to jump off a bridge, and the only question he would receive
in return is “Which one?” This was probably in no small part due to the fear
Edano still fostered toward him, but for now, he wasn’t in the mood to sweat
the details.
“Take off your tie,” he instructed, and watching Edano pull one end of the
accessory through its knot and set it aside pushed old gears into coordinated
motion. He stepped forward and draped his blazer over the back of his desk
chair, then removed his own tie to place it on top. “Open your shirt,” he
continued, keeping watch over Edano’s hands. He finally directed Edano to shift
back and make room as he approached the bed, and he situated himself on his
knees between Edano’s legs. His upper body probed forward with a domineering
proximity that forced Edano to lean back with his arms behind him to prop him
up.
“Anything else?” the senior asked, mouth and eyelids already hanging slack from
Teruki’s presence.
He smiled. “Everything so far is perfect.” He captured Edano’s mouth with a
kiss, this time showing no reservations about caressing the inside of his mouth
with his tongue. He heard a sigh, and he didn’t know if it was due to the
motion of his lips and tongue or due to his careful hand pressing and gliding
across Edano’s torso, nor did he care what the reason was. The ease with which
Edano slipped into his control and was so completely, justly his was all that
mattered, was all he needed to anchor himself to a reality that made sense.
Teruki made a small retreat, then dipped his head to reacquaint his mouth with
Edano’s neck. He was automatically granted full permission to kiss and bite and
suck as Edano tilted his head away. Small, muted sounds escaped, hardening
Teruki’s resolve to make them louder. In the middle of his intensified assault,
he felt a tiny mental tug to look over his shoulder to make sure he wasn’t
being watched. He paused with a chill shaking him, staring down at Edano’s
neck. Now?
Edano noticed the sudden letup and leaned away to get a better look at Teruki’s
blank expression. “Teru?” he called, brow furrowing in the midst of the spell
Teruki’s affection had placed on him.
Teruki kept staring, mouth still parted, at Edano’s neck. Was that just his own
worry getting to him? He couldn’t sense anything if he tried, and he hadn’t
known that aura to appear and then immediately vanish before.
“You alright?” Edano pressed. Ah, he was getting his poor boyfriend worried
over nothing. This wasn’t the appropriate time to be getting paranoid.
“I left marks,” he deflected.
Edano responded by placing his hand at the base of Teruki’s skull to hold him
still for a brief kiss. “So?” he asked facetiously before proceeding to pepper
kisses along Teruki’s jaw and neck. He refrained from giving the same rough
treatment as he received, an artefact from when Teruki needed to remain
unmarked before admiring classmates and side flings.
This did not go unnoticed, and Teruki supposed he had no immediate need for
such high romantic mobility. He returned the favor of exposing more skin and
whispered, “You can do it too.”
Edano’s fingers tightened and he sighed heavily against the side of Teruki’s
neck. He took the offer as a command and began placing a hickey on the
sensitive skin. Teruki paused at the sensation, but then busied himself with
pushing Edano’s shirt and blazer off his shoulder. One particularly eager hand
squeezed Edano’s thigh, making his entire body jerk at once. Teruki gave him no
break, squeezing once more, this time higher, and then sliding his hand up
against the shape of Edano’s already stiff cock. Overwhelmed, Edano closed his
teeth on Teruki’s neck with an audible hiss.
The responses he pulled from Edano were amazing. How did he forget this
excitement? This was what it felt like to have power. The humility he had been
forcing himself to practice since meeting Kageyama, this shitshow he had been
enduring with Shimazaki – they felt so distant now. The ability to control
something was the only thing he needed right now. And here, perfectly placed
before him to fulfill that need, was his reliable, compliant Tsuyoshi. Edano’s
hand was shaking on the back of his head. Was he scared? Nervous? Just excited?
It didn’t matter. The tremors that only Teruki could stir in him might as well
have been a white flag while Teruki was in his current state.
He nudged Edano’s shoulder to prompt him to lie back. Without a word, he
unfastened Edano’s belt and pants and relieved his cock of its restraints. He
paused to take in the sight of it laying there, reddened against Edano’s belly.
“Does it hurt?” Teruki asked.
“Yeah,” he whispered, voice failing him. He swallowed, and then repeated his
answer clearly.
Good boy, Teruki refrained from saying. Ache for me.
Instead, he took it in his hand, drawing a frustrated sigh from Edano, and
purred, “Tsuyoshi-kun.”
Edano’s gaze moved from Teruki’s hand to his smiling face.
“Did you miss this too?” He immediately descended to wrap his lips around
Edano.
“Shhhit,” he hissed as he let his head fall back, and he pressed the back of
his fist to his forehead. Teruki gave him no time to adjust before stroking him
with his tongue. He collected himself enough to answer, “Yeah I did,” before
Teruki’s head moved and stole the breath from his lungs.
Of course he fucking did, Teruki gloated internally; he needed Teruki like a
hound needed a trainer, and the likes of Edano would be stupid not to crave
him. He had no siblings, nor friends, nor loyalty. In the space he occupied,
power was suspended by a thin string called reputation, a string that could
much too easily snap in the lightest breeze. Edano was fragile, and Teruki knew
that he was the best excuse Edano could ever have to put himself at someone
else’s mercy, that he was the most qualified person to break him.
“Teru.”
He lifted his head to look at Edano, a relentless hand quickly replacing his
mouth. “Yes?”
Edano choked back a moan. “I can’t last right now.”
Teruki simply smiled at him. “You better not.”
He gave a shuddering exhalation. “Did you want me to do something?”
The only answer was Teruki’s mouth returning to torment him further, and Edano
couldn’t resist vocalizing its effect. Teruki retreated once more at this
sound. “I want you to come.”
Edano could only clench his eyes shut and let his head fall back down. Teruki’s
hand kept rubbing and squeezing at a pace that was becoming more maddening as
he endured it, and kept enduring it, and then unraveled. Teruki basked in the
familiar sight and sound: his voice coming out in needy refrains, face
contorting, hips shaking in half-concealed thrusts. It was surprisingly
soothing to Teruki’s exhausted mind to take care of Edano like this, and he
moved over him to kiss his forehead, unexpectedly light, before leaving
temporarily to retrieve tissues.
Afterward, Edano had even asked again whether Teruki wanted him to return the
favor in any way, but the boy somehow felt sufficiently sated just from
watching Edano writhe under him. So instead, he sat next to him, one hand
rubbing up and down over his chest and belly as if petting him. He glanced at
the wall clock and noticed that time had passed much more quickly than it
seemed.
“Hey Tsuyoshi,” he started, “you have to get home soon, right?”
“Hm?” Edano opened his eyes to look at the clock as well. “Shit, yeah,” he
answered. Between sitting up and lifting himself to stand, received a pull and
one more of those very domineering, very Teru kisses.
“Let’s get lunch this weekend and come back here,” Teruki suggested, watching
Edano dress.
“What day?” he asked. “We’re back off Saturdays.”
“Sunday. I’ll give you a day to miss me a little more.”
Edano took a breath. “I’ll be here to pick you up.”
“I know,” he answered, more than a little coyly.
Edano soon collected himself and left to catch the train home. Teruki, once
left alone in his apartment, felt a tiny, undeniably nostalgic tug. A genuine
smile appeared on his face, a welcome change from the past week, before he
proceeded to get productive for the evening.
===============================================================================
Shimazaki really hated cities. There was always too much going on, always too
many bodies moving and interacting and sparking with emotions hidden behind
silence and trained courtesies. He supposed it was the ideal environment for
the type of person who enjoyed people-watching. However, Shimazaki was not
among those people, and he could only bring himself to care about the bustle of
ants for a few seconds at a time. Residential areas were the worst – he tries
to focus only on streets and sidewalks, but it was like trying to hear only one
speaker in a crowded room. Eventually one’s attention drifted to the
surrounding stimuli, and in Shimazaki’s case, the next thing he knew, he was
glancing at someone on the toilet or catching some married couple’s lukewarm
sex.
Despite this, nearly as much as pain itself, Shimazaki hated boredom. And so
his old enemy always chased him into one city or another to try to find
something to hold his interest. He admitted that his time working for Claw had
made him dependent on Suzuki after all. While the others were clinging to him
as a beacon of to overthrow a world they felt owed them for their psychic
superiority, Shimazaki was tagging along behind Suzuki precisely because he had
no claim to any real purpose, not even a tantrum of a mission like the rest of
Claw.
To be honest, he owed some gratitude to Teruki for providing him with such an
engaging hobby. He was fascinating, and it seemed like another facet of him
shone forth each time Shimazaki had the pleasure of interacting with him.
Though, the last time he appeared during Teruki’s alone time, the kid wasn’t
looking so good, so he thought it would be best to give him some time alone to
cool off. It wouldn’t do any good to completely terrify the boy, after all.
Shimazaki thought he’d gently make his presence known once again, and then
gauge Teruki’s reaction. He expected the sudden tangling of Teruki’s aura when
he was noticed, not as bad as the thickly matted mess he was carrying at his
apartment last time, but enough to indicate significant dread. What impressed
him, however, was sensing Teruki’s aura trying to straighten itself out, and a
wandering change of course as Teruki walked. He had decided to search for
Shimazaki. He let Teruki search, let the boy come to him, waited for him to
start the conversation.
“Shimazaki,” Teruki started, voice even, standing in front of Shimazaki with a
bag of newly-purchased clothes in one hand. “Isn’t it getting late for
loitering around at a park?” He was delightful. Shimazaki was no telepath, but
he liked to think he was pretty experienced by now in reading auras. And what
was so delightful about Teruki was not that he had some way to comb out all the
fear and hesitation knotting his aura, but that he was standing here in front
of Shimazaki now despite its persistence.
“Is it?” Shimazaki asked, remaining casual. “I lose track of time more often
than you’d expect.” He patted the space on the bench next to him. “You might as
well sit after coming to look for me.”
Teruki’s hand squeezed his bag, but he was otherwise motionless. Shimazaki let
the rest of the world blur to get a closer look: his jaw was shut tight, and
his eyes were studying both Shimazaki and the bench.
“Or don’t, no one’s forcing you,” he dismissed, letting both arms drape over
the back of the bench.
He observed Teruki expanding with an inhalation, and then receding with his
exhale, and his aura then smoothed a little bit. The boy stepped forward,
dropped his bag on the bench, and sat next to Shimazaki, keeping distance by
leaving some space between them and his hands in his lap.
“Shimazaki.”
“Hm?”
“You’re really not planning to do anything–” the ends of his aura started to
curl inward as he tried to vocalize his question, “–anything like–”
“Teruki.”
A silent, sharp intake of air.
“I wouldn’t dream of forcing you to do anything against your will.”
He didn’t answer, likely still unsure of whether or not to believe Shimazaki.
“What about you?”
“What do you mean, ‘what about’ me?”
“You haven’t had fantasies about it until recently, have you?”
“No thanks to you putting the thought in my head. I would have been fine never
having these thoughts.”
“I guess I caught you off guard that one time, huh? In my defense, I didn’t
expect you to get so excited either.”
Something akin to anger rattled Teruki’s aura. “I’m glad it’s all just a joke
to you.”
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“Tch. Why am I not surprised you act like it’s normal?”
Shimazaki sighed. Teruki sure was a stubbornbrat. “Whatever you say. If you
feel like it’s too forbidden to share with anyone, you can always tell me about
your fantasies. I’d love to hear them.”
Teruki was incandescent. “What is wrong with you?” he growled.
“Come on, it’s not every day you get to talk to someone about how they
fantasize about you.”
The timid knots were all but gone from Teruki’s aura, leaving his form
quivering and clawing outward in his increasing irritation. “And what the hell
makes you think you’rein them?”
“Am I not? Who is, then?”
“Why are you so interested in this?”
“Teru. You like being desired, don’t you?” He detected tension in the muscles
around Teruki’s eyes.
“Ye- everyone does,” he answered. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“I mean something a little different. I mean when someone wants you so bad that
they don’t know what to do, you feel a bit powerful, don’t you? It gets you
off.”
He was shifting into something more alert now. “Even if that were true, what of
it?”
“Would you be less standoffish if I said something like, ‘Let me show you how
much I want you?’” Teruki’s form burned at this. “Nothing extreme,” Shimazaki
quickly continued, “just a kiss.”
Teruki settled a bit. “What if I don’t want you to?”
“Then the customary response would be ‘no,’ wouldn’t it?”
Teruki was quiet, head turned to face Shimazaki. He stared for a moment, and
Shimazaki remained in the same relaxed position, able to sense Teruki’s heavy
pulse. When Teruki was finally satisfied with believing that Shimazaki was in
fact waiting for a yes or no answer, he opened his mouth and answered, “I’d
allow it.”
Shimazaki laughed. “You’re already talking like a gatekeeper.”
Teruki scoffed. “You’re the one saying ‘let me.’”
The kid sure could argue. In an instant, he teleported in front of Teruki,
settling his weight with one knee on the bench between Teruki’s legs and his
hands on either side of him, propping himself against the back support of the
bench. Teruki lit in a startled flash, while everything else was nearly
completely dimmed out – Shimazaki’s focus was increasingly gravitating to
Teruki. Flashes of his aura synchronized with the heavy beating of his heart,
forming a human-shaped pulsar in front of Shimazaki.
“You’re such a sucker for this kind of treatment,” he taunted.
“Do you ever stop talking?”
He pressed his mouth to Teruki’s, and he could sense the boy’s fists balling
and pressing into the wood of the seat. His tongue was slow and deliberate and
made it impossible for Teruki to resist reciprocating the kiss. Further beneath
Shimazaki, Teruki’s thighs tensed and relaxed at the contact with his knee,
placed just barely out of reach of where Teruki wanted it.
Shimazaki had to mentally scold himself for how fascinated he was becoming with
Teruki. Kissing him now, he didn’t think he could tear his attention away from
the intensity radiating out below him if he wanted. Even as his image became
harsh to perceive, Shimazaki could only continue to be captivated by the boy.
He pulled away from Teruki’s mouth but stayed close, catching the small heaves
of Teruki’s chest as he tried to pant silently. He was still too proud to let
any reaction out unhindered.
“Should I be concerned that you’re able to kiss a grown man so easily?”
Shimazaki teased.
“Don’t worry,” Teruki quickly answered. “You’re the only old man I’ve kissed.”
He laughed, and then moved a hand to slide his fingers through Teruki’s short
hair. “Am I? I guess that makes me special. If that means there’s something you
want from me, then you should ask for it.”
“Shimazaki, your jokes are too much sometimes.”
“Are they?” He stood straight, and he had to take a breath to readjust to the
world outside himself and Teruki. “I’ll spare you from them, in that case. It’s
probably getting late, anyway.”
Teruki himself was losing intensity with the space between them restored.
“Something tells me you’ll be back with more funny jokes later,” he predicted.
“Oh well. You never know when we’ll cross paths again. Unless you’d like to
hear more now?”
“Please, be on your way. I wouldn’t dare hold you up.”
Shimazaki smiled. “Goodnight, Teru,” he bade before teleporting back to the
park entrance to walk home, senses still too dulled from Teruki’s presence to
be trusted to transport him the full distance home.
Chapter End Notes
     Thanks everyone for their patience, I don't know why but I had a
     bunch of blocks while writing this chapter.
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Summary
     Teruki has that lunch date with Edano.
Chapter Notes
     it's been a long time coming. thank you if you're still reading.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Everything was going to be fine.
Teruki almost believed this now after last night’s impromptu meeting with
Shimazaki. It made his fantasies feel a little safer to indulge in after he
returned home, now that he could be more confident in their removal from
reality. Maybe it still did mean that he wanted them to happen, since they kept
returning, but as long as the man was just interested in taunting him about it,
at least there was no real danger.
Now that Teruki was finally able to relax a bit, he managed to enjoy his Sunday
without constantly thinking about Shimazaki. He spent the morning finishing his
homework for the weekend, and when Edano arrived in the afternoon for lunch, he
greeted his boyfriend with a kiss before they headed out to the commercial
areas. Most restaurants were winding down from the initial lunch rush, and it
was easy to find a quiet place to catch up with Edano. In fact, there was only
one tiny problem staring him down on his date.
It looked like the game was back on with Shimazaki.
He first noticed this when they were waiting for their food to arrive. In
particular, he was in the middle of asking Edano about post-middle school plans
when he suddenly stopped speaking to look around the restaurant, a reflexive
response to the feeling of being under scrutiny. Edano briefly glanced where
Teruki was looking, and then back to him with a questioning look. Of course,
there was nothing to see; there was barely anyone else at the restaurant, and
the booth where they sat kept them secluded.
“Sorry, I thought I saw something,” Teruki apologized. “I was going to ask,
what do you think you’ll do after you graduate?”
Edano was explaining that he wanted to go to a science-focused school, but
wasn’t confident about entrance exams, when Teruki realized that it was
Shimazaki back to his psychic stalking. He didn’t even have the energy to be
angry so much as exasperated at the discovery. That he had the nerve to start
this again irritated Teruki to no end.
“I think you’ll be fine after cram school,” he said to Edano. “Maybe apply to
some easy school where you know you’ll get in if you need a backup. Besides,”
he then smiled, “if you do end up somewhere rough, you survived dating me, so
some regular old high school thugs shouldn’t be a problem.”
Edano let a little amusement show when he scoffed. “I hope that doesn’t mean
you plan on getting that way again.”
Teruki’s smile widened. “I’ll do my best not to, but you’re just so cute when
you’re panicking that I just can’t help wanting to pick on you sometimes.”
That nagging aura was still present.
Teruki caught the poorly-masked apprehension in Edano’s face as the boy paused,
unsure how to respond.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he reassured. “I promise, I’m not planning on
terrorizing you later. Unless you want me to.”
Edano gave a nervous smile. “I think I’ll pass,” he answered.
(Was Shimazaki seriously just hanging near to watch Teruki go on a date?)
Their waitress appeared, food in tow, and placed it on the table in front of
them. They recited a quiet “itadakimasu” before retrieving their respective
pairs of chopsticks from the table.
“Oh, I forgot to ask for no mushrooms,” Teruki mentioned as he broke his
chopsticks. “Do you want them? The texture always makes me think of oysters.”
“I’ll take them,” Edano answered.
Teruki grabbed a shiitake from his bowl of udon and looked up, gaze catching on
the sight of Edano’s marked neck on its way upward to his face. It occurred to
him that Shimazaki couldn’t see the hickeys on Teruki’s own neck, and likely
had no clear indication yet that this was, in fact, a date. He could give the
man a hint.
The broth began to fall from the mushroom at a manageably slow drip, and Teruki
immediately moved his hand forward toward Edano’s face. The latter didn’t miss
a beat when he saw the mushroom coming toward him and opened his mouth to
receive it. It was now Edano’s turn to look around a little sheepishly to
verify that no one had seen it. Teruki, meanwhile, wore a satisfied smirk as he
fished his remaining mushrooms out of his soup and placed them next to the
nanbanzuke on Edano’s plate.
Edano swallowed. “I thought you said no terrorizing,” he reminded Teruki,
trying to keep his tone disarming.
“If you didn’t want them, you could have just said so,” he replied, feigning a
hurt look before it was broken by the return of a smile. “Come on, let me have
a little fun. Besides, no one saw.”
Edano gave a half-amused, half-resigned sigh before digging into his food.
The remainder of the lunch proceeded without any further embarrassment imposed
upon Edano. The two talked about mundane, but pleasant topics like their
personal reviews of new movies and the recent performance of the sports clubs
against other schools, occasionally peppered with either flirtatious or
boastful remarks from Teruki. A few times, he even forgot about the third wheel
remotely crashing their lunch. Once, he considered further driving the message
to Shimazaki by stroking Edano’s leg under the table with his own, but
ultimately decided that this course of action might have been too indecent for
Edano to deal with in public, even if they were sheltered from the view of
other patrons. When they finished, Edano offered to pay, which Teruki
gratefully accepted – free food and another “I have a boyfriend, so eat it,
Shimazaki” point.
The walk back to Teruki’s apartment was a thrill for both of them, albeit for
different reasons. He had laced their fingers together after they began
walking, leaving Edano flustered by the public display of affection and on high
alert over the possibility of being seen by someone they knew. Teruki, on the
other hand, didn’t mind the attention from strangers; more importantly, with
Shimazaki still in range to detect them, he was being forced to watch Teruki
dote his affection on someone else. He wasn’t sure if he could expect Shimazaki
to get jealous, but at the very least, he would get the dismissal that came
with knowing he wasn’t the only person on his mind.
By the time they reached the apartment, Teruki’s heart was pounding. They were
still being watched. This game was entirely different with the comfort of
knowing Shimazaki would only stay back and watch, and having an unwitting new
participant only intensified it.
Teruki asked Edano if he wanted to hang out before entering, and his offer was
gladly accepted. They opted to watch T.V. for a little while, cuddling half-
upright on the wall side of the bed, Edano’s arm reaching around Teruki’s
waist. Despite himself, Teruki couldn’t help wondering whether Shimazaki was
going to stay to watch them sitting there or just get bored and leave. The
vindictive excitement Teru felt before had time to settle with the trivial
inputs from television broadcasting, interspersed with affectionate squeezes
from Edano.
It was during a commercial break when Edano’s hand ventured down to the hem of
Teru’ sweater. One by one, as if testing their boundaries, his fingers slid the
fabric up, until enough skin was exposed to ease his hand inside and against
Teruki’s skin. Teruki let him; he indicated his approval with a kiss to the
side of Edano’s neck. The resulting inhalation was audible, and this only
encouraged Teruki to keep kissing him when he heard it. Edano’s hand began to
grow restless against Teruki’s skin, pacing up and down his side.
Shimazaki was still watching.
“Tsuyoshi.” Teruki’s voice cut across the half-forgotten television noise.
“Yeah?”
Teruki whispered in his ear. The nervous bob of Edano’s swallowing throat drew
a smile from the younger boy. He kept the pressure on Edano with a playful bite
to his ear. “Do you want to?”
“Are you sure?” he craned his neck to look at Teruki. “It’s really soon.”
“Tsuyoshi-kun.” Teruki kissed him. “I’m asking you if you want to.”
“I,” he barely said as he studied the hungry look in Teruki’s stare. “I mean.
Fuck. I really do, but,” he stammered. The passing admission of surrender was
enough for Teruki to reward him with another kiss. He turned off the T.V., and
Edano didn’t bother wondering how.
If Shimazaki liked watching so much, he could watch this.
Edano was careful with Teruki as the two undressed each other, as if one clumsy
motion might startle him out of the mood. Teruki was careful with Edano, as if
one moment of distraction would convince Edano that he wasn’t really ready. And
they hadn’t even made it to the intimidating part yet.
Their half-timid, half-craving touches slowed to a stop when they were both
fully stripped, having found their way into a position with Teruki on his back,
elbows propping him up, and Edano above him, each of them halted by their own
inexperience. They had only done this twice before, and sufficiently long ago
that their previous knowledge was only marginally reassuring.
“So uh, I guess we should use lotion,” Edano suggested first.
“It worked before,” Teruki agreed. “There’s some in the bathroom.”
Edano’s head descended to kiss him. “Be right back.”
As Teruki waited for Edano to retrieve the makeshift lube, he was forced to lay
there and silently acknowledge the third presence persisting nearby. He wasn’t
prepared for how different this moment felt now compared to how the thought of
it felt earlier. It shouldn’t feel difficult – it should have been just as easy
as the first time he gave Shimazaki a “go screw yourself” show. Now that he was
fully convinced that Shimazaki was going to stay and watch, it should have just
been a liberating parade of how much fun they were having without him.
Edano returned, lotion in hand, and stopped at the side of the bed. “You’re
really sure about this,” he checked once more.
“Tsuyoshi-kun.” He looked Edano in the eye and lifted a leg to stroke the side
of his boyfriend’s bare thigh. “Get over here and finger me,” he purred.
Edano licked his lips at the sound of the command, and then settled into the
space between Teruki’s now-spread legs. He began his task of stretching Teruki
slowly, one cautious finger at a time. His eyes fixed on Teruki’s face, and he
watched for his responses so intently that Teruki almost told him to stop out
of frustration. In the end, Teruki simply convinced himself that Edano was
trying not to make him angry by being too rough, that he was simply nervous
about messing anything up.
Still, the strange combined pressure from Shimazaki and Edano left an unwelcome
discomfort in Teruki’s chest that made him want to hurry the process along.
“I’m ready,” he announced while Edano was still in the process of getting his
three fingers to spread in side him.
“You think so?” He kept pushing against the ring of muscle. “You’re still
pretty tight.”
“You’ll stretch me more if you go ahead and put it in.”
“Won’t that hurt?”
“Come on, when did you get so timid? It won’t be anything serious.”
“I just don’t want to hurt you.”
“Tsuyoshi.” Teruki had slipped – he let his annoyance creep into his voice. He
rectified it with a coy smile. “Right now, I really just want you to fuck me,”
he said, provoking Edano as best as he could. His finger connected with Edano’s
chest, giving it light, affectionate strokes. “But you have to be inside me to
do that. So just use a lot of lotion and give me what I’m asking for, okay?”
He watched Edano’s pause to let the hormone-fed processes run in his brain. The
older boy’s eyes took the time to scan the full sight of Teruki making such a
demanding offer below him. “Y-yeah,” he managed to respond.
He shifted on his knees to get closer while Teruki pulled his legs up. It hurt
when he finally entered; Teruki expected this much, but it still made his face
contort in response. Edano stopped.
“Keep going,” Teruki told him.
He did as told, stopping once more when his hips were flush against Teruki’s
skin. “Teru, fuck,” he groaned.
“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Teruki asked. “Give me a minute to get used to it,”
he instructed next, hands squeezing the backs of his thighs as he waited for
the pain to subside. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back. While he
was trying to distract himself, he noticed that Shimazaki was (finally) gone.
That was fine – today was supposed to be for just him and Edano anyway. It
didn’t bother him that Shimazaki decided at last to fuck off and mind his own
business.
At least, that’s what he tried telling himself.
Edano’s hand wrapping around his cock pulled him from his thoughts about
Shimazaki. He lifted his head again to look at it, now stroking him slowly. His
body was easing from tense discomfort to something that was beginning to feel
kind of nice. Edano, however, was probably struggling to remain still by this
point, still making his best effort to follow Teruki’s command. He wondered if
Shimazaki would bother waiting this long. The man kept offering a lay, but
wouldn’t his knowledge of Teruki’s rape fantasies just be carte blanche for him
to be as rough as he wanted and ignore any requests from the boy to slow or
stop? The idea was annoyingly hot.
Edano hissed in the back of his throat, reclaiming Teruki’s attention once
more. “You’re squeezing me,” he explained when Teru met his eyes.
“Oh,” he breathed absently, realizing the hold he had on Edano. What the hell
was he doing thinking about Shimazaki right now? He needed to be giving his
boyfriend his attention at a time like this. “You can move now,” he announced.
Edano inhaled and responded, “Alright,” looking down to where he joined with
Teruki. His free hand nudged Teruki’s away to replace it at the back of his
knee as he began to move his hips. He groaned Teruki’s name again, immediately
unable to say anything more complex than Te-ru, so he said it once more and
lingered on the Te and left it to Teruki to understand.
Teruki sighed at the desperate sound of his name leaving Edano’s mouth. “Keep
going like that,” he coaxed. “You feel so good.”
Edano showed no signs of stopping, not after the long wait for permission to
fuck the very demanding boy beginning to moan under him. “You’re so fucking
hot, Teru,” he whispered.
“Yeah?” Teru asked, smiling through the pleasure. “Keep making me feel good and
you can stare all you want.”
Edano eagerly obliged. Teruki almost wished Shimazaki had stayed to see just
how well they could get along without him, or more importantly, so that he
could sit back and keep wishing he was the one getting to fuck Teruki. He
closed his eyes and wondered whether Shimazaki would be jealous or his usual
unaffected self the next time they spoke. When his eyes opened, he saw Edano
looking down at him and realized that yet again, he was thinking about
Shimazaki. Even after leaving the two of them alone, his presence kept
intruding.
Teruki didn’t want to think about it, not now. He focused on Edano’s face. On
Tsuyoshi’s face. Tsuyoshi’s body. Tsuyoshi’s hand. Tsuyoshi. There was only one
other person here with him, one person he needed to be thinking about right
now.
A sharp gasp slipped from him as Edano’s hand gave special attention to the
head of his cock. His idle hand grabbed his bedsheets. “You’ll make me come if
you keep doing that,” he cautioned.
Edano smiled. “Good,” he answered, watching Teruki begin to tense and squirm
under him.
Teruki let his eyes fall shut once more to minimize any distraction from the
feeling of Edano rubbing him so well both inside and out. He knew that urgent
sensation, and he almost didn’t think about who wasn’t giving it to him as it
started to overcome him. His eyes reopened to the sight of Edano thrusting into
him and he came, moaning and calling his boyfriend’s name. Edano swore at the
sight and sound and sensation of Teruki succumbing to orgasm and automatically
squeezing around him.
Somehow, it came to an end, leaving Teruki in a light fog as Edano’s hand was
freed to take hold of his other leg. Meanwhile, Teruki’s mind was freed from
its task of making it through an orgasm without tripping over Shimazaki. Maybe,
just maybe, he could pretend later on that he hadn’t switched to wondering how
it would feel if it were Shimazaki instead using his body to finish himself off
right now. For now, he let his thoughts torment him in the way they tended to
lately: intent on trying to guess every little touch and movement Shimazaki
would make in this position.
Only halfheartedly did he stare up at Edano as he pulled out and finished
himself over his torso. Teruki gave him time to catch his breath with a slack
jaw and heaving chest, at which point he announced a “be right back” to
retrieve tissues. Teruki’s eyes drifted to the ceiling. He really couldn’t be
alone with Edano without thinking about that person.
And he had himself to blame, at least partially. As he watched Edano clean up
after them, Teruki thought that he should have just been able to be present, to
be so above that man that ignoring him was effortless. Yet even now as he
berated himself, the presence stuck in his mind without being physically near.
There was nothing in particular that he was even thinking about Shimazaki;
Teruki just couldn’t forget his existence, and that alone was reprehensible
enough for him.
The bed shifted under new weight, bringing Teruki back to earth. Edano was
settling next to him. The familiar heat and shape of him drew Teruki and his
self-sabotaging mind closer. Their arms found a way to wrap around one another.
Teruki thought in that still, quiet embrace, maybe he could let his brain
indulge as it wished so that it would finally be sated enough to do its job of
keeping unwelcome parties out of his conscious thought. To his credit, he
maintained an expert poker face to mask the debauched thoughts he was having
about someone else. However, there was one reaction he had no way to mask, not
completely naked and pressed against Edano.
He gasped and opened his eyes at the feeling of Edano’s hand slipping between
them to give a single, affectionate stroke. Edano was already watching his
face. “Did you wanna go again?” he asked.
Well. Edano was the one asking, and Teruki was hard. It was worth the effort to
try to forget about Shimazaki one more time, he decided, and his head reached
forward to answer the question with a kiss.
Chapter End Notes
     this chapter needs more italics
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Summary
     Shimazaki follows up after Teru's weekend date with Edano
Chapter Notes
     it's been a long time and it's short and there's no sex
Teru returned to school no less irritated with both himself and with his
stalker. He was already tiring of this double life of carrying on in the public
eye as if nothing were wrong and agonizing in private over his messed-up
imagination, regardless of Shimazaki's intentions to hurt him or let him suffer
from afar. Teru still had the looming threat of the fucker showing up whenever
he felt like it and forcing his presence onto Teru's mind without ever being
seen or heard. And as long as that threat remained salient, Teru had to deal
with the consequent shame of knowing why Shimazaki was still stalking him. The
date yesterday with Edano made it clear that the intrusive thoughts about
Shimazaki forcing himself on him wouldn’t disappear into nothing by force of
will. With this knowledge on his mind, Teru was a square peg trying to fit into
a round hole around his classmates. He had always been this way, and although
he was happy in his delinquent days to sit atop the edge of the hole just so
everyone could see that he didn't belong at the same level as all the others,
he was now painfully trying to cram into an impossible fit among his peers.
He didn't want to go straight home after school since Shimazaki seemed at least
decent enough to stay away from the school grounds so far, and so instead he
stayed after the end of classes to hide away behind the main school building.
He squatted against the wall, took a deep breath, and drank in the peace of
being alone – really alone – for once. He wanted to laugh in spite of himself
at the realization that he was hiding alone behind the school building like
some kind of reject – him, Hanazawa Teruki, actively choosing to sit alone when
he could be socializing or training or doing anything active and productive.
His loneliness didn't persist forever. He heard feet shuffling against the
ground as someone came around the back of the building. Teru didn't turn to
look at them. If they were important enough, he would give them his attention.
He may have been unfitting with the others, but it wasn't like he was one of
the outcasts the school thugs liked to pick on for no other reason than that
they were sheep unprotected by a herd. He wouldn't be bothered here.
Or so he thought, until the footsteps started to come annoyingly close to the
outer edges of his personal bubble. He drew his mouth into a hard line, and he
flexed his thoughts to form words that would neatly toe the tightrope bridging
"excuse me, I politely request you to step away," and "do you have a problem?"
The other person kept drawing near, finally stopping at Teru's side. He
cracked. He shouldn't have; it wasn't like him to bark first under the pressure
of another person's presence. However, he was under some prolonged stress, so
he was owed this one slip-up.
"I'm sorry, is there something requiring you to stand so close to me?" he
asked.
"It's not required, but I do really like being right next to you," Edano's
voice answered from above.
Teru looked up at him and allowed the beginning of a smirk to tug his mouth.
"Well, you're next to me. Now what?"
Edano stepped in front of Teru and squatted so that their faces were level.
"You busy?" he asked.
"Just enjoying some time to be able to hear my own thoughts," Teru answered.
Edano balanced forward until his lips met Teru's. The latter boy happily
accepted, but when they broke apart, he commented, "That was ballsier than I'm
used to you being."
Edano simply smiled and kissed Teru again.
"Someone could come back here and see us, you idiot," Teru continued
affectionately.
"So?" Edano asked. Teru sighed and then stood.
"Did you forget we have a whole rooftop to ourselves I can get us into?" He
cast a smirk down at his boyfriend, sliding his hands into his pockets.
Edano returned the smile and stood to follow Teru toward the entrance of the
school building.
It was the last little missing element Teru needed before he could honestly say
to himself that he was enjoying a moment of peace. And it was exactly the thing
he needed at the moment: being pressed up against Edano, their mouths playing
eagerly, no third parties interrupting their time with one another this time.
Teru held Edano in place against the door that led back inside the building.
Edano yielded to him happily. Teru never thought he would admit it to himself,
but he missed it dearly.
===============================================================================
After some time spent on the rooftop kissing privately, the two went their
separate ways: Edano leaving to go scheme whatever illicit or otherwise
questionable activities the school gang would do next, and Teru exited to test
the waters of social interaction. If Shimazaki wasn't going to come after his
classmates or him, then he might as well spend his time being an anomaly in the
company of his peers rather than alone if he had the choice. (What would he do
alone anyway, go home and jerk off?)
He found a group of classmates planning to go out to a movie later that night.
He easily pretended to be only casually interested in what was showing at the
theater until someone invited him, which he also accepted with a pleasantly
aloof air. They chatted a little longer to decide meeting times and rides for
those who needed one before splitting up for the afternoon.
During his walk home, Teru managed to not yell in a rage when he detected
Shimazaki.
He came to a halt and looked around. Something expanded in his chest, leaving
it tight and stretched. This intense experience of anger was not something he
had been accustomed to before having to deal with Shimazaki. Annoyance, mild
irritation, a desire to shut up particularly noisy delinquents back in those
days, sure, those were emotions he had felt often and could handle. The
intensity of this frustration with no easy outlet, however, was not something
that happened this frequently in the past. He kept walking.
Maybe Shimazaki would leave him alone if he just ignored him. The guy was too
damn unpredictable, so who really knew? It was worth a shot.
Unfortunately, Teru was not so lucky. After a minute or so of continuing along
his course without making obvious attempts to locate Shimazaki, the man
appeared in his sight, further up the street, strolling along without any
purpose in his step. Teru decided to give him another cold shoulder. He crossed
the street before he reached Shimazaki and continued on his way home.
The success of this idea was only temporary; though Shimazaki let Teru walk
away, he simply appeared in his path again, closer to Teru's apartment complex
this next time. The boy wasn't going to keep dodging him if he was going to
keep at it. Though, he did wish he could say that he was ignoring Shimazaki out
of kindness for the man, that he was sparing him the force of his anger.
Shimazaki stood at a walkway that led to Teru's building. Teru scowled at him.
"What do you want?" he asked quietly before stopping in front of Shimazaki.
"Well that's rude," he answered, appearing nothing but pleased to have gotten
this reaction out of Teru automatically.
"I'm rude?" Teru asked further. "Are you actually out of your mind?"
"You seem to have something particular in mind."
Teru took a sharp sip of air. "What did you want out of stalking me yesterday?
To piss me off? It worked, congratulations."
Shimazaki was unfazed by the direct interrogation. "I didn't know you had a
boyfriend."
"If you touch him–"
"So, you really like him?" The question didn't sound offended, or malicious, or
anything that should sound off any alarms. He asked as plainly as if he were
asking what the time was.
Teru was quiet after the interruption. "What kind of question is that? He's my
boyfriend."
"It should be an easy question to answer. Do you like the guy? Or were you just
getting warmed up for me?"
His lip curled. "Obviously I like him. Don't get your hopes up."
"Okay."
Teru stared at Shimazaki. The same, placid smile he always had was there. He
didn't say anything further than that. "Okay?" he repeated.
"I'll leave you to him then."
"And what do you mean by that?"
Shimazaki's smile widened, and his brow knit. "I'm sorry, I don't know how else
to say it. I'll leave you alone with your boyfriend?"
What the hell was he playing now? Somehow, Teru wanted to punch him more than
he did twenty minutes ago when he first sensed the bastard watching him walk
home. He had to admit, he didn't know he could get this bloodthirsty for a
person after That One Time with Kageyama. "You'll leave me alone with him,” he
echoed. “Why do I not believe you?"
"I won't intrude," Shimazaki reassured him. "If you two have something going
on, then that's between the two of you." Teru stared at him. He was going to
kill this man. "What?"
"You're really going to stop following me around and showing up when I'm with
my friends?"
"I'm telling you as plainly as I can."
There had to be a catch. Some gap in his words that Teru wasn't catching, that
would mean the stalking wasn't really over, despite appearances. "What about my
boyfriend? My classmates? You plan on stalking them now instead of me?"
"No, no, I'm really leaving you alone. I can't guarantee we'll never cross
paths, of course. I do live in this city." Teru clicked his tongue in
annoyance. "But I mean it. Have fun with your significant other. I wish you the
best."
Teru didn't need or want Shimazaki's fucking blessing. He folded his arms. "Go
away," he growled.
Shimazaki chuckled before vanishing. Teru stayed in place to try to feel for
him, and he confirmed that Shimazaki was gone from the area. He instinctively
looked around to ease his still-unsatisfied nerves. It was too fishy. After all
the stress he must have known he had caused Teru over the past week, the mere
fact that Teru was seeing Edano now seemed like such a minor deterrent from
continuing to pursue Teru. The boy couldn't believe that it would end this
neatly, this easily, without any bloodshed (as much as he wanted to shed
Shimazaki's blood) or hard bargaining with Shimazaki to make it stop. He went
into his apartment feeling the cooldown from the adrenaline rush he didn't
notice he was on when he had to confront the older esper.
===============================================================================
Teru spent the evening waiting for Shimazaki to show up out of nowhere to watch
and worry him, with that dumb smirk and an explanation of "Sorry, changed my
mind," or "Did you really think I was serious about that?" He didn't. Teru had
a chance to spend some time in peace in his apartment before heading to the
theater (though it wasn't very peaceful with his full expectation to see
Shimazaki eventually).
He left a little early to go to kill some time in the presence of other
moviegoers before meeting with his classmates. The theater was a manageable
walk from his apartment, and through the first half, he kept checking his
psychic senses and physically peering around to verify whether or not Shimazaki
was somewhere nearby. The first ten minutes or walking eased him enough to
allow him to calm down in the second half and walk with a semblance of normal
thoughts in his mind.
Teru made it to the theater with his sanity still intact. He milled around,
checking posters of upcoming films, people-watched the other visitors on dates
or in groups, poked around the gift shop to look at the overpriced movie
merchandise and oversized snacks and candy to be taken home. Somewhere in the
back of his mind, he stillexpected Shimazaki to appear. It was still way too
good to be true.
While waiting for his friends to appear, he decided he'd put the dubiously-
former stalker to the test. He sent a text to Edano asking what he would be
doing the next day.
"Depends. What do you want to do?" came the reply a few minutes later while
Teru listened to a group of girls meeting up and considered passing the time
with some harmless flirting.
Edano was obedient to a fault. Teru smiled when he read the message and thought
about the answer to that question. For now, he lifted his phone and typed out a
simple "You. (･ω<)☆"
Of course, their options were wide open and free from the threat of having a
psychic terrorist crash the party. They could go get dinner together, or maybe
something lighter like going to a cafe. Or. Well.
His phone chimed again."Anything else?"Edano had asked.
Teru thought about what else they could do. Did he suddenly forget how to date?
He glanced at the group of girls again. Normally if he asked a girl what she
wanted to do, she'd be flattered he even asked and have something in mind. If
she didn’t, he'd have probed her in advance anyway to find out what she liked,
and he'd have suggestions ready. Finally, the thought occurred to him: what did
Edano like to do?
What did they ever do in the past?
Go hide somewhere and make out for a few minutes before having to return to the
rest of the boys and find the next poor sucker to get his shit kicked in. Grope
each other after school in a locked classroom or on the rooftop. If Teru was
feeling like having a particularly calm interaction with Edano, they'd just
briefly have tea or ice cream or something.
Teru noticed two of his classmates walking into the theater together. He
quickly typed "Let's go to that usual cafe," before going to meet them.
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Summary
     Teru tackles his reasons for getting back together with Edano while
     readjusting to life without Shimazaki
Chapter Notes
     So this fic is now being finished largely due to pridek, so if you
     really are into this and want to see it completed, he's your god now.
"So what did you tell the others anyway," Teru asked Edano at the cafe, "when
you told them you weren't staying after school?"
Edano sat across from him, leaning an elbow on the table, waiting for his tea
to cool before touching it. "I just told them I was leaving and I had somewhere
to be," he answered plainly.
Teru smiled. "Sounds like you keep them in line just fine without me."
Edano smirked back. "I'm not the banchou for nothing."
Teru sipped his tea and looked at a couple at another table chattering quietly
to one another, both with rapt interest. Did he and Edano have enough in common
to do the same?
"Hey, Teru, I know the whole deal with the shadow leader at Salt Middle School
was really bad for both of us," Edano said softly. His tone and topic both made
Teru's stomach begin to feel sour.
"It's in the past," he said quickly. "I don't really care to discuss it."
Edano was quiet for a moment and watched Teru sip his tea with his gaze pointed
away from Edano. He tried again. "I just wanted to say something that was on my
mind about it. I really think I need to say it.”
"Tsuyoshi." Teru was now still and training a frigid stare on him. "Don't."
Edano buckled under that glare. He grudgingly averted his own eyes. He was
sensible enough not to test it, even if he didn't understand. Teru released his
own pressing stare from Edano. So much for making enthusiastic conversation
with each other.
When Teru decided it had been long enough that Edano had probably abandoned the
attempt, he reached forward and let his hand envelop Edano's on the table.
"Hey, I mean it," he insisted. "It's in the past. Let's just leave it behind us
and move on, okay?"
Edano's mouth briefly tightened, and then failed to set. "Yeah," he acquiesced.
He didn't comment on how Teru had given him far more to put behind him than he
had given Teru.
And Teru didn't want to think about it. Letting Edano apologize was a step in
the wrong direction. The next thing he'd know, he would be expected to
apologize for being too rough with him that day, then for being rough all the
time, then for the language he used toward Edano, then for dating other people
while they were together. Even without Edano saying a word, Teru knew he would
be waiting. It was far too much to have sprung onto him when his initial plan
was to let the two of them never say another word to each other.
They shifted to harmless chitchat about their day. So far, whenever Teru
checked his surroundings, he found that Shimazaki had not yet gone back on his
promise to leave Teru alone. Good riddance. Assuming he wasn't just waiting a
few days for Teru to let his guard down, that was.
Edano's mood opened up from his submissively guarded behavior after they
finished their drinks and Teru had given the warm invitation of "Let's go to my
place." He was still amusingly flustered over holding Teru's hand on the walk
there.
===============================================================================
The next day, Teru changed his mind about letting Edano neck him.
It started during the beginning of lunch, while everyone was pushing their
desks together, when a girl who floated sporadically from group to group
finally asked if it was okay to join Teru's group today.
"Of course," he told her. "I'd love to have you join us, Ota-san."
For a moment during their lunch, Teru forgot about the feeling that he was
dealing with a secret demon that he had to keep buried deep from the rest of
the school to avoid being shunned as a degenerate with sick fantasies. In this
moment he was just Teru (ha, "just" Teru) again, and there was a girl who
wanted to sit with him for lunch. He was at home with his usual lunchtime
group, she was a guest to his social circle, and it was his role to be a good
host and accommodate her.
Teru was the first to readjust his desk to make room for Ota to sit next to
him. He didn't know terribly much about her. She wasn’t particularly outgoing
as far as he knew. She got along with everyone well enough, but she didn't seem
to have close friends. He noticed that she was content to sit quietly next to
him, eyes down and listening to the others talk. Well, she needed a better
impression than that.
"Do you play any sports, Ota-san?" he asked, tugging her into the current
conversation topic about the school's basketball team.
"Um, no, not really," she answered, caught off guard by his direct address.
"No? What do you do for fun then?"
"I read a lot," she answered shyly.
"Ah, is that so? Have you read The Crane in Summer, by any chance?"
She poked at a piece of chicken in her lunch box while she decided her answer,
then half-admitted, "I read part of it," to having read the romance novel,
braving the appearance of a lonely romantic in front of the others.
"Maybe we can see the movie together sometime,” he considered, toying with the
idea of taking her out on a date. "It's always interesting to hear how the
movie compares to the book."
Teru noticed her eyes glance a little lower, and then linger there. Her smile
slackened to nothing. "Yeah," she said, "Maybe some time."
He backed off from flirting with her afterward. Ota's reaction reminded him of
the hickeys on his neck, and of the reason he used to avoid them. He didn't
imagine it was a pleasant sight after she worked up the courage to ask to sit
with him. Maybe somehow in the future he'd find a way to make it up to her.
Teru kept his shirt buttoned up to the collar for the rest of the day.
Edano found him after school again. He asked what Teru wanted to do; Teru
didn’t care to try to figure something out. So they retreated to the rooftop
once more.
Edano was still more adventurous than he used to be. He was the first to seek
out an ear to play with this time. Teru relaxed under his actions, let him take
the reins for once.
Until his hand reached for the top button of Teru’s shirt.
Teru’s own hand shot up to grab his. When Edano gave him a puzzled look, he
quickly lied, “Teacher saw my neck. She said the hickeys were a class
disturbance.”
A flash of annoyance crossed Edano’s features. “You’re really going all out
with this good guy thing, huh?”
Teru returned his own unamused look. “I’ve always maintained a pristine
reputation, unlike some people,” he explained.
Edano sighed. “Yeah. Fine. Whatever.” He moved his hand from Teru’s collar to
the wall beside him. When he dipped down for another kiss, Teru’s hand shot up
to block his path.
“I’ve lost interest,” Teru explained behind his hand.
Edano straightened, huffing along the way and shoving his hands into his
pockets. Fortunately, he knew to back off when Teru told him to, but the
temperamental display was an unattractive new feature. Teru tilted his head,
then proceeded to pick up the school bag he had placed on the ground to his
side.
“I’ll talk to you when you fix your attitude,” he said before proceeding into
the building.
===============================================================================
Before being haunted by Shimazaki following him around, Teru loved toeing the
line between friendliness and flirtatiousness. Now with the announcement of
Shimazaki deciding not to follow him around anymore, he felt a little freer to
indulge again.
He was well-adjusted into the gray area where he could be coy enough to draw
some giggles and blushes out of his chosen partner, yet noncommittal enough to
back out of any engagement that seemed too serious. A smile here, a wink there,
a half-serious date idea casually thrown into conversation – all fun little
games to play that left a girl thinking about him.
And so he indulged, both with classmates during breaks and with friends-of-
friends at the end of school days. The morning following Teru’s interruption of
rooftop private time with Edano, he found another note in his locker asking his
audience after school. It certainly wasn’t written by Edano. The handwriting
was familiar, but he couldn’t quite summon the knowledge of who it belonged to.
Probably a classmate then.
Teru honored the request. It was safe to assume Edano would be waiting on the
staircase leading up to the roof as he had done the past couple of days. That
should buy Teru a little time to see to this correspondence before Edano would
come looking for him.
Teru found the anonymous note writer at the designated location: a hallway
infrequently traversed even during the school day. “Kondo-kun,” he greeted the
boy from his class. “I have to say I’m surprised to see you here.”
Kondo was quiet for a moment as he regarded Teru. “And I’ll be honest,” he
responded, “I didn’t fully expect you to come here.” He looked at the wall
behind Teru’s head. “Guess I have to be a man and see this to the end.”
Teru didn’t know a lot about Kondo. He was one of the studious types, but he
maintained a standoffish vibe to keep delinquents from harassing him. Perhaps
he still associated Teru with them. “So, what is it you have to see to the end?
It would be unfortunate if a fight is what you’re looking for.”
“Whether this comes to violence is up to you,” he answered cryptically. “I just
need to get this out.” He folded his arms. “I like you.”
Teru blinked. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” Kondo answered. “Call me a queer or send your gang buddies
after me or whatever. I was just going crazy trying to hold it in.”
Teru gave an amused scoff and a soft smile. He must have been here a hundred
times now, watching this exact process unfold in his admirers. A girl’s after-
thought “we don’t have to” or “it was just an idea” after a date suggestion.
The “I know I’m not your type” preceding a confession. Awkward claims of “this
just made me think of you for some reason” when offering him a gift.
All little defense mechanisms admirers used to weaken their hope just for the
purpose of softening the equal and opposite reaction of the pain of rejection.
And here Kondo was doing it too – convincing himself that Teru could only
respond with disgust to keep from breaking down when the real disgust came.
“I can’t imagine this was easy for you,” Teru told him.
Kondo looked at him without answering.
“Have you ever dated a boy?”
“No.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t be the first one to date you for multiple reasons.”
He looked away again. “Yeah, I figured. Like I said, I just needed to get it
out.”
Teru reduced the space between them. “So, I take it you’ve never kissed a boy
either.”
“Nope.”
He stood very close, so that Kondo was visibly uncomfortable with the proximity
and with both options of looking at or away from Teru. He could hear his
classmate forcing his breaths steady without attempting to widen the space
between them. “Have you kissed anyone, Kondo-kun?”
Kondo frowned and looked pointedly away. “You don’t have to rub it in.”
“I was just asking a question,” Teru patiently defended. “So. I can at least be
your first kiss.”
He gave Teru a bewildered look, then returned his gaze to the wall. “Are you
serious? You’ll just kiss a guy you’re not dating?”
“Are you scared?”
“No,” Kondo answered quickly.
“Okay then.”
Teru smiled at Kondo as his colleague took in a deep breath and swallowed. He
placed a hand on the side of Kondo’s neck, sensing the resulting flinch,
watching Kondo’s eyes shut. He kissed the boy in front of him gently, lingering
to let the initial shock of the kiss pass.
When he pulled away, Kondo was still standing in the same stone-still position,
eyes still squeezing shut.
“You alright?” he asked.
Kondo nodded, then opened his eyes. “Yeah,” he whispered.
“Good.” He patted Kondo’s chest. “Maybe in the future we’ll have a chance to
spend more time together,” he mused with a wink. “Take care, Kondo-kun.”
Teru heard his classmate murmur a “yeah” as he walked away. He had no serious
intention of starting a full-fledged relationship with Kondo, but a little
playful banter never hurt anyone.
He checked his phone once out of sight. Edano had texted: once to ask where
Teru was, and a second time to ask whether Teru wanted to do something else
today instead. Teru paused from walking after reading the two messages.
Eventually, he decided on the usual rooftop meeting.
Edano was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs up to the roof. “Hey,
Teru,” he greeted with the smallest audible hint of apprehension.
“Tsuyoshi,” Teru greeted back flatly as he stepped past him and to the door.
Edano followed without commenting on the distance in the response. Teru
psychically unlocked the door and passed through it with Edano close behind. He
took a deep breath and tied his fondness to the thin air in his lungs. When he
exhaled, he made sure to expel all sympathy, all familiarity, all affection
with that physical exhaust.
“You alright?” Edano asked, placing a hand on Teru’s shoulder and giving a
light squeeze.
“I’ll request that you don’t touch me, Edano,” he said.
Edano’s hand froze, then fell away. “Did I do something?” he asked from behind
Teru.
Teru took a few steps to restore space between them before turning to face
Edano with a neutral expression. “This past week shouldn’t have happened,” he
said.
“What does that mean?”
Teru sighed. Edano’s presence, once refuge from the storms of Teru’s mind, had
taken on the unsightly look of a dilapidated old shack in the new light of
fairer weather. One which would better please him by being out of view
entirely, rather than costing the time and mental resources to renovate. And
Teru had his mind set of beautifying the scenery.
“I just needed to forget about someone,” he answered. “I don’t want to date
you.”
Edano’s brow furrowed. “Seriously? But everything over the past few days – the
dates, all the time at your place. You’re the one who said you missed me.”
Teru didn’t say anything.
“Come on, what was that all about?”
“Edano,” Teru called, using his family name a second time. He looked at over
his shoulder at Edano, unfazed. “It was just sex.”
Edano was visibly trying to withhold from lashing out. “You can’t be serious
right now,” he said. “Teru, if I did something wrong, just tell me instead of
breaking up out of nowhere.”
“I don’t care to,” Teru answered cryptically. “Nor do I care to fix anything
between us. I’m not dating you anymore.”
Edano looked in another direction. “This can’t be happening,” he groaned.
“It absolutely is happening,” Teru responded. “So please don’t ask me about my
free time.”
Edano hissed in his throat. He looked like he had a hundred more things to say.
He didn’t say them. He simply told Teru, “Fine. I get it.” He thrust his hands
into his pockets. “I’m not playing this on-and-off game.” He stood in place to
give Teru time to respond, but when no response came, he huffed and turned to
the door. Teru’s eyes followed until Edano crossed the door. He heard stomping.
Edano would be displeased about it for a long time, but the deed was done. Teru
was ready to reclaim his life as it was before being interrupted by handsy
adult espers and rape fantasies. That was going to mean removing the chore to
keep that Edano was becoming.
However, although Teru managed to rid himself of his old enemy and the ex he
had taken back in spiteful reaction to this old enemy, he still hadn’t rid
himself of the shameful knowledge of his secret fantasies. He was walking home
from school when the guilt of dropping Edano finally latched on to him. Still,
it wasn’t enough to convince him to call Edano to tell him that he had changed
his mind and that it was a big mistake. He only sighed with resignation and
accepted that yes, it was a very shitty to Edano to use him for sex and
distraction from Shimazaki, and then drop him with next to no explanation once
he felt a little better.
By the time he reached his apartment, he didn’t want to think about his ex-
boyfriend anymore. And so he thought of Shimazaki instead.
He had not replaced Edano in his mind with Shimazaki since that one unfortunate
time when the older esper spied on the two of them. This was, in fact, the
first time in a few days that he even thought of Shimazaki like this. His mind
had lost the will to berate him as he imagined this time, now settling for
weakly droning in the back of his thoughts that this was something weird and
wrong.
Teru’s fantasy was a little different from before, as well. Perhaps inspired by
the night he and Shimazaki kissed, somehow the fantasy had in its background
setting the agreement between the two of them that Teru wanted Shimazaki’s
rough treatment. Teru submitted to Shimazaki’s actions, hiding his face behind
his arm in the fantasy despite the uselessness of the gesture. Shimazaki made
no effort to stop him, instead folding Teru’s legs back over the boy. He forced
the pleasure of stimulation from within onto him in the midst of his
embarrassment over letting Shimazaki use his body.
Teru imagined Shimazaki pushing his hips to empty himself as deep as possible
inside of him, staying fixed in place to then focus on Teru’s cock, taking
advantage of the twitching and squeezing that resulted from stroking him. And
as always, Teru was powerless to push him or his hand away, and was thus
trapped into the wanted-unwanted sensation. He came to the thought of being
forced to come, mind full of Shimazaki’s humiliating praise and the imagined
knowledge that his own satisfaction was a mere tool for Shimazaki’s enjoyment.
Somehow, indulging in the idea of being a toy to Shimazaki softened some of the
guilt of using Edano for the same purpose. At the same time, it left him with
the vague sense that if he was going to use someone else for sex, he should be
subjected to the same. Yet for now, he let the post-orgasm fog settle around
him before moving on to any tasks he needed to do for the afternoon.
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