Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11570073.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Teen_Wolf_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Derek_Hale/Stiles_Stilinski, Stiles_Stilinski/Almost_Everyone
  Character:
      Derek_Hale, Stiles_Stilinski, Scott_McCall, Jackson_Whittemore, Lydia
      Martin, Allison_Argent, Melissa_McCall, Sheriff_Stilinski, Danny
      Mahealani, Danny_Mahealani's_Ex-Boyfriend, Aiden_(Teen_Wolf), Ethan_(Teen
      Wolf), Peter_Hale, Laura_Hale, Cora_Hale, Original_Characters
  Additional Tags:
      Nyctophobia, Past_Abuse, Past_Child_Abuse, Past_Relationship(s), Past
      Rape/Non-con, Promiscuity, Neighbors, The_fire_happened_but_there's_no
      werewolves, Losing_everything, Murder, Hurt_Stiles, Top_Derek_Hale/Bottom
      Stiles_Stilinski, Broken, Stiles_is_almost_18, Age_of_Consent,
      Promiscuous_Stiles_Stilinski, Sex, Bi-Curiosity, Understanding, It's_Hard
      and_Nobody_Understands, friends_-_Freeform, Birthday_Sex, First_time_with
      a_man, Sweet, Sweet/Hot, Neighbors/friends_having_sex, Sheriff_Stilinski
      Knows, Awesome_Sheriff_Stilinski, Sheriff_Stilinski's_Name_is_John,
      Anxiety, Anxiety_Attacks, Anchors
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-07-22 Chapters: 2/? Words: 2670
****** Nyctophobia ******
by HaleStormStilinski
Summary
     Derek Hale is a 22 year old mechanic who suffers from Nyctophobia.
     Stiles is a 17 year old high school student whose got secrets of his
     own, and is known around town for his promiscuity. They see each
     other around Beacon Hills often, and soon become unlikely friends,
     and then more.
Notes
     Let's just pretend Derek goes through what Isaac went through with
     his abuse, especially being locked into that freezer, stuff like
     that.
     And I love Peter Hale (mainly cause he's hot, especially when Lydia
     brings him back in season, and his sass) he will basically be the
     Devil in this story.
     And to note, I myself do not suffer from Nyctophobia, I used to be
     afraid of the dark when I was a kid, but it hasn't affected me
     anymore for years, I quite enjoy sleeping in total darkness and
     sometimes like watching TV with all the lights off, but I did have a
     friend/classmate who suffered with it.
     She tried to face her fear, but every time she would try and sleep in
     total darkness or be somewhere where it was completely dark, her mind
     would play tricks on her and she said it would create monsters/
     Demons, and they wouldn't go away until she would turn the lights
     back on.
     (The way she described it was that thing where it's said that if you
     stare at your reflection in a mirror, after about 10 minutes, your
     mind would get bored and start creating scary images/monsters, until
     you look away from the mirror. That's how she described it, her mind
     would get bored after just a few minutes of being in the dark, and
     she'd start seeing monsters she still has it.)
     I fear public places, being out in public, or just being in a really
     crowded place, I would start getting nervous, and I can't breathe
     sometimes. I fear being alone, the not having anyone alone, not being
     home alone, I'm definitely used to that, I have no problem with that.
     I fear strangers, I fear never being good enough and fear all my
     imperfections.
     Now those are not necessarily phobias, I'm not self diagnosing here,
     but I have been very aware of how I feel about those. For me, it's
     just all paranoia, I'm a very VERY paranoid person.
***** Chapter 1 *****
Chapter Summary
     How Derek became afraid of the dark and how he lives with it years
     later.
Chapter Notes
     Let's just pretend the fire happened when Derek was 14 not 16. But
     then again there's some evidence that Derek was actually 18 when the
     fire happened (idk)
nyc·to·pho·bi·a
/ , niktəˈfōbēə/
noun
   1. extreme or irrational fear of the night or of darkness.
 
#
 
              It's way too dark in here, it's silent as the grave
               It's cold and clammy, like I'm sealed into a cave
               There is no air in here, I'm drowning in my fear
               And if I close my eyes, the ground will disappear
                I have a chronic phobia, and up until this day
                  There is no guarantee that it will go away
                            ("Nyctophobia" by Asia)
      
#
It started when Derek was fourteen Sometimes his parents would be working a
lot, so they'd have Uncle Peter watch over him and Laura. Which was always cool
cause they loved Uncle Peter, he was fun. But after the fire that killed eleven
members of their family, Peter changed.
Being the only one who survived the fire with some injuries, burns, he obtained
sole custody of them. Derek and Laura were at school when the fire happened.
They thought the fire was the worst thing to happen to them, but they were
wrong.
Peter hardly said anything for months, hardly ate, slept, or even looked at
them. But one day he just snapped. He hit Derek and dragged him by his arm,
down to the basement of their new house. 
Laura was trying to help, but he just pushed her away and kept dragging him. He
dragged him to this old freezer, nothing was in it. He told Derek to get inside
and when Derek refused, he threatened to beat Laura senseless. So he got in.
Peter told him he could come out when he thinks Derek's been a good boy, and
closed the lid. 
Derek couldn't see a damn thing in that freezer, but he could hear the sounds
of a metal chain moving and a lock being locked. Then he didn't hear anything
else. When he tried to open the lid, it would budge just a little, but he
couldn't get it. He spent the whole night in there, no food, no water. He got
maybe two hours that night for sleep.
#
They never did anything wrong. They couldn't breathe around Peter without
getting hurt. He would only hit them where no one could see it. For some
reason, Derek would be the only one to get locked in the freezer. Laura told
him Peter would lock her in a closet. 
They definitely got scars. Physical, emotional, and psychological. Derek spent
a lot of time in the freezer, Laura in the closet. Sometimes Peter would keep
him locked up for a whole weekend, or during any break they had with school,
being left with little food and little water. Their bathroom was where they
were then Peter would yell at them and call them disgusting, filthy, then make
them clean their messes up. 
Derek once spent almost all of spring break in the freezer, Christmas Eve in
the freezer, Halloween, his birthday, and so forth. He could've fought back,
he's tried. But he was no match for Peter. And he only cooperated and tried to
be a "good boy" so Laura wouldn't get hurt. 
Life with Peter was absolute Hell. And with all the time Derek spent locked
into that freezer, he developed Nyctophobia, the fear of night or darkness.
Every time he became engulfed in the darkness, his mind would play tricks on
him. Make him see monsters that weren't there, make him scream and beg.
The more they would scream for Peter to let then out, the longer they'd be
forced to stay. So they would be as quiet as they could, but sometimes, they
couldn't.
Being that Laura was older than Derek, she took Derek away from Peter when she
turned eighteen, and they never looked back. Laura eventually became Derek's
legal guardian and they hightailed it to New York. They finished school there,
went to college. Derek got his Masters in Automotive Engineering, while Laura
mastered in Family Counseling. 
After graduating college, Laura now works as a Counselor for a Therapy center
for families. She stayed in New York, but Derek went back to Beacon Hills and
opened his own garage. Any rational thinking person would ask why Derek was
crazy enough to go back to the one place where all his bad memories took place,
and he has been asked that.
His answer is he can't hide or run away from it forever. Though he's sure he'll
never get over his fear of the dark, he can't run from it forever. He has no
idea if Peter is still alive, it's been eight years since they left. But he
wasn't gonna let that bastard think he won. Derek is in control of his life,
not Peter.
And besides the bad memories in Beacon Hills, there were some good ones. Beacon
Hills was their home, he liked living there, even during the abuse. Beacon
Hills was a good place to live, just not when you're living with the Devil.
Laura didn't think it was a good idea for him to go back, since Derek was the
one that got the worst of the abuse. But since they'd fled to New York, Derek
would visit with the guidance counselor at his old high school before he
graduated (but never mentioned or admitted the abuse), and saw a therapist
twice a week during college.
That was when he was comfortable enough to talk about what Peter did. When he
told his therapist he wanted to go home, she thought it would be a good idea.
He still remembers when she asked "You don't have to ask me if it's a good idea
to go back home, Derek. What you should be asking is do you think you should go
back to Beacon Hills?" And he said he did. So he did just that.
#
It felt weird being back there. They became famous after the fire. He didn't
know if anyone knew about them being abused, but he didn't care. He's a grown
man, he can take care of himself and doesn't care what anyone thinks. 
Surprisingly hasn't seen Peter around since he returned. Not at his shop, not
bumping into him anywhere in public, nothing. It's been a few months since he
came back. Since then, he bought himself a nice little house, opened his shop
(he made good money working in a shop while he put himself through school), and
has almost ten guys currently working for him. He's been doing well since then.
Though he never talks to anyone about his phobia. He's sure some have noticed,
but he never let's a subject on it get brought up. He doesn't go out much,
especially at night, he sleeps with his light on, or just a lamp on, but has
the bathroom light on. If he finds himself out at night, he hurries to get
inside as fast as he can, not caring if anyone sees.
As soon as he would get home, the living room light, the kitchen light, hallway
light, nearly every light gets turned on. His electric bill is insane
sometimes, but better that than being in the dark. 
It's not like he hasn't tried to get over it, he has tried. Numerous times.
Once he tried sleeping in total darkness, and it took less than five minutes
before he could feel his heart start racing, he was sweating, shaking, and felt
a tight knot in his chest and felt like he couldn't breathe.
He quickly abandoned the attempt to face his fear before he broke down into a
full blown panic attack. After other failed attempts, he was not willing to try
it again. So he's sure he'll never be able to get over his fear. 
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     Stiles and how he came to be who he is today.
It started when Stiles was eight. He just watched his mom die right in front of
him. His dad wasn't at the hospital when she died. He showed up and Stiles was
sitting outside her room, holding his head in his hands, crying.
She died from Frontotemporal Dementia. A shrinkage of the brain that leads to
dementia and eventually, death. Being eight years old, Stiles couldn't
understand it until he watched as the most important woman in his life,
withered away. 
At first he hated his dad for not being there when she died. But his dad was
his hero, and he worked hard to keep Beacon Hills a safe place.
He eventually got over it cause he couldn't stay mad at his dad. He's all he's
got left besides his best friend, Scott. He can't lose either of them, he'll
lose his mind if he does.
He cried for a long time, woke up screaming his dads name until he'd run in and
hold him while he cried. He missed her, every day, and though his dad wouldn't
admit it or bring her up, he missed her too. 
#
Things continued to change. His first traumatic hit was when his mother died,
the next being when he was a week away from turning 14, when he was sexually
assaulted by Jackson Whittemore. Captain of the Lacrosse and Swim team. He was
a Junior while Stiles just became a Freshman.
He was an asshole to everyone, especially Fresh Meat. He cornered the Freshman
in one of the bathrooms and told him "Just doing some initiation, Fresh Meat."
And attacked him.
He never told anyone what happened. No one walked in while it was going on, and
Jackson simply got up and left. He wanted to tell someone, tell his dad, but he
couldn't. If he tried to hurt Jackson, he'd get sued for everything they got,
which isn't that much.
And rich boys and girls don't go to jail, nor would they stay too long. They
just have Mommy and Daddy take care of everything, especially since Jacksons
dad--adoptive dad--is the best lawyer around, and is a force to be reckoned
with. That and he didn't want his dad to lose his job. 
After his attack, he just swallowed hard and went back to class as if nothing
happened, despite how much it hurt to move. But he bit through the pain and
brushed it off. But to this day, it still eats at him. How dirty he felt, how
it happened right in the middle of the day. He changed after that.
He lost trust in people, except the people he loved most, his friends, his dad.
He just became a different person after that. Soon after he turned fifteen, he
started having sex. A lot of it, strictly with just guys, always the bottom,
but on very rare occasions, being the top.
It started out small, he slept with a couple friends, neighbors, saying he just
wanted to get a little experience. it starting out with heavy make out
sessions, groping, dry humping, hand jobs, blow jobs, rimming, fingering, he
didn't go completely all the way (even if Jackson does technically count, he
chooses not to count it.) until a few months later. But after that, he soon
lost count awhile, but it's definitely at least maybe thirty or so, so far. 
His dad never knew until word started spreading that his son was becoming the
premiere whore of Beacon Hills. And when he came home after finding out, he.
Was. PISSED. 
Stiles will never forget that conversation. Almost four hours of his dad
yelling at him, then it turned to a lecture where the yelling had all but
stopped. He relaxed a little when he told him he and all the guys used
protection and he'd get check ups at the free clinic the next town over, and he
was clean as a whistle. Physically clean, anyways. 
He got grounded for two months because of that. But he managed surprisingly
well. It helped him focus more on homework or projects, he read through a few
books pretty quickly, he got a job, and proved to his dad that he felt bad for
lying to him and possibly embarrassing him. He even saved enough up to buy the
jeep he has now after he got his license. She isn't anything flashy and she has
her quirks, but she's his baby and he works hard to keep her happy. 
When he first started out, he was punishing himself for not telling his dad or
for not fighting hard enough to keep Jackson from hurting him . Even after he
started, he couldn't. Jackson and his dad would ruin their lives if he told.
Then by a certain point, he just stopped caring. He liked sex, especially that
all his encounters after his attack, have been nothing but consensual. 
He doesn't care what people say about him. He can fuck whoever he wants and as
many guys as he wants, it's no ones business but his own. And who cares how
many people someone fucks in a week, month, year, or lifetime? You only got one
life, might as well live it up! 
Although he doesn't just flirt with or fuck anyone who gives him the tiniest
smidge of attention, he has standards. So far it's no one above 25 (only since
he's 17 now) no married men (he doesn't have the heart to ruin someone's
marriage or family), and tries not to do it out of pettiness or pity.
He did have one time where some girl called he best girl friend Lydia a dumb
whore (when in reality Lydia is the smartest person he's ever met, the girl
could cure cancer, but doesn't like to let many people see how smart she is),
and to get back at her, he seduced and rode her boyfriend like there was no
tomorrow.
They're not together anymore, but he heard he was sleeping around with some
other people, so it's not entirely just his fault. But that was the pettiest
thing he's ever done, so far, and he doesn't regret it at all. They can make
fun of him all they want, fine, but fuck with his friends or his dad? Oh yeah,
you'd bet your sweet ass there would be Hell to pay. 
He's had a few relationships beyond the fucking, but didn't end well. The
longest one he had was with his friend Danny for two months. He had just gotten
dumped by his ex, whom Stiles fucked before he and Danny got together but
didn't know, and they started going out.
It was nice, they time they had. They had sex twice but they soon realized it
just felt so weirs since they've been friends since seventh grade. They ended
it on good terms and remain close to this day, just closer than before. People
tend to act certain ways around someone they've slept with, obviously. 
But with all the rules he has, the biggest one would have to be SCOTT_MCCALL_IS
THE_BIGGEST_NO_NO!!He's known Scott since they were little, he's like a brother
to Stiles, he would never do that with him. Though they have enough trust in
each other for something like that, he would never cross his best friend off
his human Bucket List. 
He wishes he could have a good, solid relationship. Which would be easier if he
wasn't known for being Beacon Hill's resident Gay cum dumpster (that's mainly
with blow jobs, anything else has protection, he's still clean though). And
he's sure his reputation could be a reason for his bad dating history, but he's
still hopeful. At least his friends and his dad still love him no matter what.
But if he found a good guy, a really good guy, he'd be faithful to him. Just
because he fucks a lot, doesn't mean he'd be unfaithful in a relationship, he's
not a monster. If he really likes or loves the guy, he wouldn't do that to him,
but he's never really fallen in love, so he's have to wait any see. And whether
it's soon or while he's in college or whatever, he'll remain ever hopeful to
find his Mister Right. 
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