Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/3890836.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager
  Character:
      Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Eren_Yeager, Hange_Zoë, Mikasa_Ackerman
  Additional Tags:
      this_is_kinda_morbid_you've_been_warned, minor_necrophilia, real_life
      shipping_is_not_ok, Levi_and_Eren_are_keeping_their_relationship_a_secret
      because_their_friends_are_psychotic, I_Wrote_This_Instead_of_Sleeping,
      Perceived_Ghosts, perceived_haunting
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-05-06 Words: 2401
****** Nox Aeternus ******
by KaedeRavensdale
Summary
     He was the superior and the brunet was the subordinate; he'd never
     told him and now he would never get the chance. Ereri one shot in
     which the pair quickly realize that, especially when someone like
     Hanji is involved, real life shipping is not ok.
He hadn’t meant for it to happen. Eren had lost control again, this time with
potentially disastrous consequences to them all and so the order had been given
to stop him; he’d only meant to cut him out of his Titan’s neck as he had the
last time, but it wasn’t until he saw him lying face down and motionless amidst
the rapidly dissolving remains of the Berserk Titan that Levi had come to the
horrifying realization that he’d cut too deep. He’d made a terrible mistake,
really messed up this time, and now Eren was dead because of it. He’d killed
him. Accidently, of course, but that didn’t really make a difference; it was
still murder. Worse yet he had cared for the cadet briefly, more so than he had
for any other soldier under his command; cared for him far more than could be
called proper. He was the superior and the brunet was the subordinate; he’d
never told him and now he would never get the chance. Levi had no intention of
attending the funeral-on its face it seemed harsh, but it wasn’t at the fault
of anything Eren had done but rather because of his inability to take even the
thought of exposing himself to the accusatory glare of his hawkish sister who
was no doubt fully under the belief that Eren’s death had been his intention.
No, he’d broken once already; cried out his pain in the privacy of his spotless
office where no one could hear him. Damn himself to a thousand fiery hells if
he cracked again in public. But he did want to see him, if only one last time.
Apologize, and somehow atone, for what he’d done if that wasn’t too absurd. He
may well have been losing his mind but he felt as if those incredible eyes
where resting heavy on his shoulders, trying to crush him beneath the weight of
all his many sins. And it was the perceived presence of this angry spirit, this
potentially vengeful phantom, most of all that had lead him to slip out of his
office and slither down the deserted hall in the Hour of the Wolf to the room
where the body was being held in its pine wood coffin to be cremated at the
coming of the next dawn. The simple coffin, nothing more than a glorified
wooden box, lay on a table in the middle of the otherwise bare room with the
lid resting, without being nailed down, on top. He approached the coffin
hesitantly, almost reverently, and rested his hand against the closed lid. For
a long moment he remained that way before finally working up the courage
necessary to lift off the lid and set it on the floor. Eren lay quietly on his
back atop the wooden bier, eyes closed to conceal the now darkened orbs which
had driven him so wild with even the most innocent of glances. His thin lips
were molded into a small mysterious smile and the lines of anger and the stress
of war had been ironed out into a death mask of almost disconcerting peace. For
the first time the Lance Corporal had seen him, he truly looked his age at 15.
Death had robbed his skin of its former golden glow, and he know looked paler
than he had ever seen him; reaching out without thinking, he rested a hand
against the boy’s frozen, blue-tinged cheek. In preparation for his final
journey he was fully dressed in his uniform, everything from the straps his
gear had once hung on to the green cloak baring the Wings of Freedom cinched
around his shoulders. His hand trailed up along the crafted cheek bone and into
the short chocolate tresses; they were as soft as he had always imagined them
to be. The back of his neck prickled once again with the feeling of unseen
eyes. “You’re haunting me over this, aren’t you brat?” A chill passed through
him as answer. “I never meant for this to happen, Eren. After all those times I
promised I would protect you, you must realize that.” The chill crept away from
him and the room returned back to the lukewarm temperature it had previously
held, but the other’s presence still lingered. “How can I show you?” his eyes
drifted unconsciously to the other’s stilled lips, hands roaming of their own
accord to his shoulders and back and the next thing that he knew he was
kneeling on the ground with the other lying across his lap. Eren’s body had
long since gone out of rigor, and he was now as limp and pliable as one in the
throws of deep sleep. His head rested against Levi’s chest, just over his
heart, cradled between the raven’s arm and collar bone; without giving his
actions any further though, he leaned down and kissed him. Soft and smooth, but
cold and stiff, forcing his lips apart and invading the cavern inside in a
futile effort to coax the dead thing within into a dance; he could imagine him,
imagine his warmth and pleasured keen as his lips molded against his own. Why
hadn’t he don’t this earlier, back when he’d been warm and alive? When the
scent of sweat and stress had lingered, and the salt of his skin and taste that
could only be Eren still remained; now all he could taste was embalming fluid
and death. What was he doing? Something he shouldn’t, which in reality wasn’t
all that new. He felt the chill again, slightly warmer this time and far less
harsh, trickling down along the contours of his spine in a way that felt almost
like a caress. He could imagine, easily, the haze of lust across the emerald
fire of his eyes. Feel him squirm beneath his body. The button at his waistband
was easily undone, the starched fabric falling down the once tan legs with a
soft crisp sound reminiscent of sail fabric. Again, mentally, he asked himself
why. What was he doing? How would indulging in such a hollow act of
desperation, such a blatant act of the desecration of the dead, going to save
him from all that he had lost and all he’d never taken the chance to have. But
he couldn’t stop himself now, almost as if the presence of the other-if indeed
it really was there-were egging him on. The contrast of his heated flesh
pressing into the other’s ice bourn core was sickening; his chest didn’t rise
and his heart didn’t beat as the slightest touch of the elder’s fingers left a
trail of bruises down the delicate necrotized skin. Sullied. Shattered. It was
not a cry of pleasure but a broken wail of agony that tore from  his lips as he
reached climax and collapsed atop the other’s form. For a long time he simply
lay there, shaking, haunted by all he’d done and failed to do even as Eren’s
presence faded from his company, presumably on to whatever the next life might
entail. Then, finally, after what felt like an eternity Levi managed to gather
enough of the shattered pieces to return to his feet; swiftly he ridded the
scene of all evidence of what had happened there, horrified momentarily,
sickened momentarily, then everything fell away to numb. He returned the body
carefully to its coffin, perfectly redressed without so much as a wrinkle out
of place, and set the lid back so that to all but the most careful of observers
it would appear that it had never been disturbed. His silent footsteps marked
his passage down the hallway back to his office room where he closed and locked
the door behind him. Crossing the room to sit behind his desk, he set pen to
paper.
                ‘To all whom this might concern, this letter will stand to be
my last communication to the living world…’
                “That’s all that I have right now, but I’m well on my way into
making something memorable out of this! You two make such a cute pairing!” The
Titan-obsessed mad scientist grinned manically, her badly smudged glasses
flashing in the candle light which illuminated her cluttered office. Eren stood
staring at her with a shell shocked expression on his face; the 15 year old’s
green eyes were so wide that they almost appeared in danger of popping out of
his head and rolling away. Finally recovering enough to speak he said “with all
due respect Squad Leader Zoe, real-life shipping is not ok.” Armin would likely
site her problem as too much exposure to Edgar Allen Poe, but he was now firm
in the assumption that she was simply bat shit.
                Levi, meanwhile, had been struck speechless for an entirely
different reason if the dark expression on his usually stoic face and the
slight twitching of his left eye was anything to go by. Eren momentarily
considered fleeing to the far corner of the room and taking shelter before the
raven decided to unleash his building wrath, but decided against it considering
that he may find himself with no choice but to restrain the older shorter male
when he made an attempt to jump his colleague. Thankfully such a recourse of
action was swiftly proved unneccisary, as the Lance corporal decided to use
biting words rather than physical force. “What the flaming flying fuck…! How
the shitting hell…!” Such was his fury that he was breathless to the point of
being unable to eloquently express himself aside from a disjointed string of
swearing. “If you do not toss that piece of bullshit into the fire right now
then I will arrest your titan experimenting privileges until the day I die!”
                “No, my babies!” Sparks spewed out of the woven rug as the book
was immediately thrown into the coals. The raven nodded after a moment,
containing himself from a sneer. “That’s what I thought. Jeager, it’s passed
curfew; go to bed. I have paperwork to do!” He stormed out, Eren right on his
heels, and slammed the door behind him. The halls were dark, the torches
burning low. Levi stopped to unlock his office door, but as Eren attempted to
walk passed his hand shot out and caught him by the collar. “Where the hell do
you think you’re going brat.” He could see the smirk forming on his lips even
as the flickering shadows played across his face.
                “Bed,” he replied, reciprocating the smile his Corporal was
still struggling against. “Like you told me to, Sir.”
                “Shove the Sir, you know better by now; and I said bed, not
dorm. I had intended you to sleep in mine.” That said, he all but tossed him
into his office like a naughty kitten and shut the door quietly behind him.
                “I thought you had paperwork, Levi.” He snickered, going over
to the desk-spotless as ever-on which a sizeable stack of papers sat awaiting
signatures.
                “I do, but it’s hardly pressing; useful as an excuse to get
away from shitty glasses though.” Following his voice, Eren found the other
already in nothing but boxers. He’d stowed his dirty clothing in its proper
place and was now pulling the sheets up over himself. “Are you coming or not?”
                “Gelduldig.”
                “What was that?”
                “I said be patient,” removing his jacket and draping it over
the back of a nearby chair, Eren set his concentration on removing his straps.
                “Just because we’re lovers doesn’t give you any free passes at
disrespect.” But there was more amusement than anger in his voice.
                “Es tut mir leid.” He heard the other snort and could
practically imagine him shaking his head, but knew that deep down Levi found it
pleasant to have him use his native tongue from time to time. He certainly
smacked him with a sizeable portion of French from time to time, usually when
he was attempting to seduce him. “That is to say, I apologize.” He could feel
his grey eyes lingering on his back.
                “We’re not a ship if we’re actually a thing Eren, isn’t that
true?”
                A rather sudden question; Eren paused halfway through taking
off his pants. “Yeah, it is. But Hanji doesn’t know we’re a thing, as per
your…request when we started dating. As a matter of fact, even Mikasa and Armin
don’t know. And now that I’ve heard one of her…writings I’m beginning to
understand why it is that you thought it was a good idea to conceal this from
her.” Tossing away the last article of his uniform with a bit less care that
his lover would have preferred, he crawled into the sheets alongside him;
Levi’s arms immediately wound around his waist and pulled his to his chest.
                “Je teaime. Bonne nuit.”
                Nodding tiredly, Eren rested his head against the elder’s
chest. “Ich leibe dich.” He mumbled. “Gute nacht.” Some time passed where their
slowing, deepening breaths were the only sounds to fill the silence. Then, just
as he felt as if he were about to drop into the warm dark sea of sleep, he
asked the question that had been bothering him for a while. “Levi.” A barely
conscious grunt replied. “If I ever did die…would you really do that? Commit
suicide, I mean.”
                The raven was quiet for so long that Eren had begun to fear
he’d fallen asleep and hadn’t heard him. “Yes. I’ve picked up the pieces too
many damn times already, I don’t have the strength left to do it again. If you
were to die there would no longer be any reason for me to keep living. I know
that it is unfair, more than unfair, to place the burden of my life on your
shoulders alongside your own but…I just can’t do it anymore.”
                “I understand; I’d feel the same way. If you died…I think I’d
try to live for a while, for Mikasa and for Armin, but I don’t think I’d be
able to keep it up for longer than a few months. Maybe a year.” He snuggled
closer into the others chest. “Are you asleep yet?”
                “No; the shitty brat in my bed won’t shut up long enough to let
me.”
                “Good, because there’s one more thing I want to ask; if I
really did die, would you fuck my corpse to stop my spirit from haunting you?”
                “Go to bed, Eren!”
 
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