Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/14157252.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      Ed_Edd_n_Eddy
  Relationship:
      Edd_"Double_D"/Marie_Kanker, Ed/May_Kanker, Eddy/Lee_Kanker, Kevin/Nazz_
      (Ed_Edd_n_Eddy)
  Character:
      Edd_"Double_D", Eddy_(Ed_Edd_n_Eddy), Ed_(Ed_Edd_n_Eddy), Kevin_(Ed_Edd_n
      Eddy), Rolf_(Ed_Edd_n_Eddy), Jimmy_(Ed_Edd_n_Eddy), Sarah_(Ed_Edd_n
      Eddy), Nazz_(Ed_Edd_n_Eddy), Jonny_2x4, Lee_Kanker, Marie_Kanker, May
      Kanker
  Additional Tags:
      Love/Hate, Platonic_Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff_and_Angst, Heavy
      Angst, Underage_Drinking, Underage_Smoking, Developing_Relationship,
      Friendship, Dorks_in_Love, Dorks, Teenagers, Teen_Angst, chain_smoking,
      Growing_Up, High_School, Marijuana
  Stats:
      Published: 2018-03-31 Chapters: 1/? Words: 1888
****** Nothing You Could Do ******
by BloodyHooker
Summary
     After just turning 18, Edd loosens up, the Kankers are back and
     things are about to take a turn in a direction the young man never
     expected.
Notes
     First, I'm back. Second, I will admit that I've been avoiding posting
     this story anywhere but I think that it's time that I get over myself
     and just post something that I'm proud of. Please be kind, its been a
     long while since I've written a consistent story of any sort. I hope
     its not too hard to read. There's much more to come and a lot of
     crazy shit planned for future chapters.
     That being said, this is just the beginning and shit is about to get
     real. So buckle the fuck up and lets do this.
     Will add more tags and such as the story progresses.
Eddward,
As you know, mine and your Father’s company has been flourishing immensely,
which has allowed us to climb the corporate ladder rather rapidly. That being
said, an opportunity has arose that requires temporary relocation overseas.
Your Father and I have accepted this rare offer and have decided that you are
to continue your schooling the the states, as your education is terribly
important.
We have left you with access to the bank account with hope that you’ll use it
for only your absolute necessities. We are due to return in fourteen months on
October 13th. We trust you’ll take care of our home and belongings as well as
yourself. We will try to keep in contact as often as possible. Take care, son.
We love you very much.
With Love,
Mother and Father.
 
It had been a year to the date since Edd had found his Mother’s handwritten
letter face down on the coffee table. Amongst the letter, the young man’s
parents had left what appeared to be the newest smartphone on the market,
programmed and ready for his immediate use. Next to that lay a thick black
debit card, as promised.
Edd didn’t cry when the idea of his parents being gone for such an extended
period of time sunk in. He had long grown out of his childish crybaby phase
that he had held on to into early adolescence, however, the nagging irritation
of his parents leaving yet another note as a form of communication for a
serious situation deeply bothered the young teen.
It wasn’t even the fact that they had left without so much as a word prior to
the letter; it wasn’t that he wouldn’t see either of them for fourteen months.
Hell, it wasn’t even the matter of nearly every time they skipped town on their
teenaged son they eased their own guilt by buying him some sort of gadget or
leaving a large sum of money. It was the raw FACT that his own Mother and
Father had forgotten his birthday for the third year in a row.
“Four years, and counting.” The raven haired teen sighed to himself as he
watched the digital clock that was perched atop his immaculate night stand swap
the hour that now read ‘12:00 am.’
Swiveling back and forth in his computer chair, he neatly folded the dog-eared
letter in half. The tiny loops of his Mothers elegant cursive was beginning to
hurt his eyes. His prescription reading glasses nowhere to be found.
The boy set the letter down on his desk, lifting a slender hand to rub the
inner corner of his eyes with his thumb and index finger. Yawning, Eddward
stretched his long legs out before him.
Despite his childhood frame being petite, he had gained a bit of height during
his less than pleasant journey through puberty. The same couldn’t be said for
his ability to gain weight; the teen had grown to six foot even. Yet, he
couldn’t gain an ounce over one hundred and thirty seven pounds.
A faint rhythmic buzzing sound caught the teen’s attention from across the
room. Edd lifted himself from his chair hastily, fingers crossed that his phone
would reveal an unread message from his parents wishing him a ‘Happy Birthday.’
He couldn’t count on it, but he could sure as Hell hope.
Edd unlocked his now illuminated screen to show an unread message from Eddy.
With a grunt of disappointment, he opened the message from one of his best
friends.
From: Eddy
“Yo sock head u should let us in. I can c ur bedroom light on.”
‘ What could those two possibly need from me at this hour?’ He asked himself
whilst slipping on his house slippers. As Eddward padded down the hallway that
lead from bedroom to the top of the staircase, he could hear Eddy’s piercing
voice scolding Ed for being… Well, Ed.
Taking two steps at a time, the teen descended the stairs in time to open the
door to witness an unmistakable towering body with shaggy copper colored hair,
and his signature olive green jacket- bringing a much smaller boy with thick
dark hair, donning his own trademark attire- into a chokehold. Giggling madly,
the largest of the Ed’s eyes fell on Eddward’s figure before him.
“Double-D!!” The enormous teen exclaimed. “Happy Birthday!” Ed’s voice
resonated in the scrawny teens ears, as his lovable oaf of a friend dropped the
smaller boy and enveloped Double-D into a tight hug.
“Good to see you too, Ed.” Double-D strained from under Ed’s constricting
embrace. Ed laughed goofily as he released his slender buddy and then turned
his attention to Eddy, who seemed to be more than a bit agitated by Ed’s
strength and significant lack of self control.
Eddy shot his six foot four inch friend a glare, yet managed not to cause a
scene, he then focused his attention on Double-D.
“Look, Sock-head… we know you get all bent out of shape about your birthday and
shit…” Eddy ran a nervous hand through his short messy hair. “‘Cause, well… you
know… BUT, Lumpy and I are gonna give you somethin’ special!” Eddy perked up
and gave his lanky friend his best shit-eating grin.
“And what may THAT be?” Edd nearly groaned at the thought of yet another one of
Eddy’s childish schemes going awry.
“A party, Double-D!” Ed bellowed into his face, nearly knocking the gangly teen
over.
 
“Yeah! Listen, Sock-head, I KNOW it sounds crazy, and I just KNOW you’re gonna
bellache over it…” Eddy sighed and threw his arm around the taller boy’s
shoulders. “But Big-Ed and I got everythin’ covered. We got all the Cul-De-Sac
kids comin’ over for your Birthday. PLUS, we all agree that you need to lighten
up. You only turn eighteen once, and you’re always so wound up, just let us do
this ONE thing for you. PLEASE?!” The smaller of the Ed’s grinned from ear to
ear, giving Edd his finest puppy-dog eyes.
“Whaddaya say, Double-D, huh?” Eddy pleaded.
Edd stammered nervously, not knowing what to take of the situation being
presented to him. He could see many a thing going wrong with his friends’
screwy little plan. On the other hand, Eddy was right. Double-D had always been
a wet-blanket to countless functions; Birthday parties, barbecues, school
dances, you name it. He was always on the other side dampening the fun for
anybody involved. The brunette took a moment to mull over his position but
quickly gave a sigh of defeat.
“Very well, Eddy. You win. I’ll partake in your shenanigans; however, I must
know WHERE you’re planning on hosting this party.” Double-D jeered at the last
word, raising his eyebrow in a questioning manner.
“At your place,of course. No better place to have a shindig than at the
Birthday boy’s house right?!” The short teenager declared.
Taking his arm from around Edd’s shoulders, he snapped his fingers at the
biggest Ed, who was now vigorously picking at his nose and flicking the remains
from his fingers. Before Double-D had a chance to protest, Eddy demanded both
the other boys to follow back to Ed’s parked truck in the driveway.
“Ed! You get the speakers from the back and don’t you dare drop ‘em. Those
things are expensive.” The stocky Ed barked the command to his friend just
before Ed lifted Edd’s two large home speakers from his truck-bed, tucking one
under each arm as he merrily wobbled up the walkway and through Edd’s front
door.
“Eddy, you can’t be serious…” The thin teen protested as Eddy shoved two heavy
grocery bags into his hands. Double D’s weak arms nearly gave out from the
sudden weight bestowed upon them. “ What on God’s green earth is in these bags,
Eddy?!” He cried out to his dear buddy who seemed to have taken the lighter of
the loads and was now halfway through the threshold of his home.
After struggling to carry the hefty bags and having the circulation to his
fingers being temporarily obstructed, Edd clumsily tossed the bags onto his
kitchen table. The sound of clinking glass caught his attention.
Reaching into one of the opaque sacks, he grasped the thin neck of a large
glass bottle. Double-D removed the bottle and inspected it's label; ‘Bacardi-
Superior.’ Eddward’s sudden realization crashed down upon him like a pile of
bricks. It was that kind of party.
A wave of panic began to invade Edd’s senses. He had never experienced a get
together of that sort of nature. Sure, he had indulged in a light beer or two
whenever Ed’s monster movie marathons were premiering on T.V., but they never
did anything to him.
Double-D’s heart pounded uncomfortably against his ribcage as a surging feeling
of uneasiness came over him.The lanky teen couldn’t put his finger on the
source of his growing nervousness; he just knew that this hare-brained plan was
NOT a good idea.
“E-Eddy… Honestly, is all of this n-necessary?” He stammered.
“I mean- I’m sure we would be able to have an enjoyable time without the
consumption of alcoholic beverages.” Edd cracked a tense smile in hopes that
his friend would somehow take his suggestion into consideration.
“No WAY, Double-D!” Eddy screeched. “I shelled out a fuck-load ‘a cash on this
shit! I ain’t wastin’ it just cause you wanna wuss out on me! NO WAY!” The
short boy reached into the grocery sack he held in the crease of his elbow.
Yanking out a package of red solo cups, he ripped the protective plastic from
around the stack of cups. “I’ll make ‘ya a drink, ‘ya won’t even taste the
booze!”
“Eddy…” Double-D began to object, but was immediately interrupted by his best
friend.
“Look, Sock-Head, Ed’s setting up the music and everyone’s ‘bout to start
showin’ up…” Eddy twisted the lid off of a bottle of coconut rum and proceeded
to pour a fair amount into a cup.
“And I don’t mean to sound like a dick, or anythin’. But you REALLY should tone
down the goody two shoes act.” Reaching into a second bag, Eddy pulled out a
container of cranberry juice, unscrewed the lid and filled Edd’s cup the rest
of the way.
“So, just for tonight will ‘ya try to have a little bit of fun?” The rest of
Eddy’s agitation diminished when he handed Edd the full cup.
The skinny boy hesitated with the drink in his hand, battling the inner guilt
of defying everything his parents had drilled into his head from an early age.
‘Alcoholic beverages are for adults and adults only, Eddward. Don’t ruin your
life before you have the chance to live it.’ His Mother’s words reverberated in
his mind, but he couldn’t help but nit-pick the technicality in her words.
Alcoholic beverages were for adults. If Double-D was correct, the legal age of
becoming an adult was eighteen.
It was about eight past twelve in the morning, thereby branding him as an
adult. With a stroke of confidence, Edd lifted the drink to his lips and took a
generous gulp.
The thought of his parents witnessing his blatant disregard of everything they
had warned him about, and not being able to do a goddamned thing about it
tasted sweeter than the imitation coconut flavor on his tongue.
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