Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/7467264.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager
  Character:
      Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Eren_Yeager
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe, School_boy_and_Business_man, train_flirt
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-07-12 Completed: 2016-11-22 Chapters: 5/5 Words: 9548
****** Not What it Seems ******
by Hageshikulady
Summary
     Eren was always late to catch the train; Levi always watched as Eren
     raced madly towards the wagon. It didn't seem like anything was going
     to happen, until they realised how interested they became on each
     other.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
***** Not What it Seems *****
It took him two seconds to realise that he was gonna miss it. He would, if he
didn't run for it. Ungraciously pushing an embraced couple from his path,
uttering a rather awkward apology, and jumping over a few pushing cars meant to
carry luggage, he grappled his hand around the vertical iron bar in front of
the threshold and catapulted himself through it, inside the train carriage; his
earphones sliding onto his shoulders in the process, encircling his neck.
Three, two; he huffed; one. The train departed.
Eren took a deep breath as the vehicle started to move. He patted his jumper,
smiling quite satisfied at his prowess. He wouldn't be happy if he missed the
last train home.
The brown haired boy strolled briskly between the seats until he found a spot
he liked. The carriage, just like the rest of the train and the station, was
actually pretty empty at this time, except for a granpa sitting on the first
seats far ahead, engrossed with his newspaper, and a man lounging across his
aisle.
He slumped onto his chosen seat and loved the feeling of his tired body sinking
in the soft fabric. Eren had jogged a good deal today. His eyes strayed from
the ceiling to observe his surroundings: it was painted red inside and the
fabric covering the seats was a shiny brown, like coffee. It felt cosy, he
thought, as his eyes landed on the man sitting on the seat across his own. He
was wearing an elegant black suit, matching his jet black hair. His left hand
held a cell phone, and his eyes never left the screen. Eren concluded he was a
business man, and a very hard working one, to be reading business stuff - he
assumed - until so late. He thought maybe the man was pushing himself, because
his eyes looked so glazed and yet so dark. His features, though, didn't seem
tired at all, even though he looked rather relaxed, contrasting with his
stiffened posture. He had his right hand partially covering his lips as he read
it, definitely very concentrated, despite the seemingly tired eyes.
Eren sighed. He could watch that man for hours and find something new about him
at every glance. But he knew better and wouldn't stare, because the man would
eventually notice and it would be awkward. Against his curiosity, he looked
away and pulled the earphones back onto is ears, programmed his ipod to play
his fast beat playlist. That would distract him until the end of the trip, but
he still wouldn't restrain himself from sparing a glance every now and then at
the man sitting at the other side of the carriage.
...
Levi searched calmly with his eyes, peering through the glasses at the almost
empty train station. That boy was always late, but in the end he would manage
to get through the door before the train departed.
He liked to watch it. How he would sprint towards the train, wearing such a
troubled face in his boyish features, and then the triumphant smile he had
plastered on his face as he made his way to his usual seat.
Tonight was no different. There he came, jumping over the obstacles in a
straight line. Their gazes met briefly and the brunette flashed him a bright
smile. Seconds later, he could hear his noisy landing on the carpet and loud
breathing. Levi looked over his shoulder as the green eyed boy approached him
and took his seat at the opposite side. He looked at Levi, smiling sheepishly.
"That was close!" He said, relief in his voice.
"Yeah, you're one lucky brat" Levi smiled, offering him a quick smile.
They sat in a comfortable silence until the end of the trip home and Levi found
himself picking the faint scent of sweat in the air. It wasn't disgusting.
This time he didn't feel like reading anything on his way, so he noticed how
that boy would often spare him glances. Levi would think that maybe the kid
wanted to ask something, which he wouldn't mind at all; or try to start a
conversation of any sort, but the look on his face was merely contemplative,
with a distracted smile.
"Is he checking me out?"
...
Eren was spacing out in his seat. It was so hot today, but he was glad that he
would usually jog at evening. It was much cooler.
He turned his head to the side against the soft seat and peered at the man that
always travelled on that seat across his own, since he started taking the late
train back home. Maybe he should try to talk to him. His summer holidays were
soon to be over and he wouldn't be able to jog so late anymore. Consequently,
he would probably never see that man again and it bothered him that he didn't
even know his name. He knew nothing about him except his own assumptions and
that he had tired but gentle eyes.
He didn't know why he wanted to get close; he just knew that he wanted to.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would ask his name.
...
Levi was surprised that the boy didn't just show up on the last five minutes
like usual. He was ten minutes earlier this time, so jumping around like crazy
not to miss it and that troubled face weren't gonna happen today. Not that Levi
would actually mind it, because he got to appreciate the serene expression on
the boy's face instead.
He seemed to be looking through the glasses of the wagons, as if trying to see
inside. Their gazes met and his face brightened up. Levi was surprised.
"Was he looking for me?"
His answer came when he heard steps coming from the end of the wagon and then
barely registered when the tall young man quickly sat beside him, with a warm
smile.
Would he talk this time? Or he just wanted to sit close? But then, why sitting
close if he didn't mean to engage into conversation? The questions inside
Levi's head were many, and they just kept on coming. He couldn't help the
uncomfortable feeling inside his stomach. It brought him memories of his
younger days and right now he felt just like a teenager again. But he didn't
dare to find this pathetic.
The brunette was so close and he looked a lot more handsome from this little
distance. His hair looked so soft. His looks were just so fresh and the scent
was musky with a hint of sweat. Once again, rather than disgusted, Levi found
himself appreciating it somehow.
He tried not to stare too much, since they were so close, but he would notice
how the boy would sometimes spare him glances. He saw when a sweet smile crept
into his lips and he adjusted his earphones gracefully.
"What is he listening to?"
He lowered his gaze onto the ipod in the boy's grip and read the name of the
song. His heart skipped a beat.
"Hatefuck" he repeated mentally "So that's the kind of music you are into?" he
mused.
He knew this song. The passionate lyrics turned him on. He was half ashamed to
admit that it turned him on even more to see how the brunette smiled at the
sight of its name on the iPod's screen. The thoughts of that youth also being
into rough sex made his body shiver. Levi crossed his legs when he realised the
effect it was causing on his body. He wasn't surprised at it; the man was no
saint himself.
Levi wanted to know more about the person beside him. He had to ask him today.
They had been doing these silent trips for so long, and after today he just
couldn't wait anymore. He wanted to know his name; where he lived. Surely
wasn't somewhere far away, since they both got off on the final stop.
His chain of thought was interrupted by the sound of breaks and he cursed
himself for not engaging into conversation sooner. The young man widened his
eyes at him slightly as the train stopped and opened his lips to speak, but
Levi beat him to it.
"Are you busy right now?"
"...No? I'm on my way home"
He could feel his heart racing under that emerald gaze. He licked his lips "...
You want to get coffee or something?" Please say yes.
"Um... sure... okay."
Levi sighed in relief and suppressed a grin as they got up their seats and made
their way out of the wagon. He hoped he didn't come across too sudden or too
weird. The boy surely had a surprised look on his face, but he didn't seem
afraid or anything.
They left the train station side by side, heading towards a nearby cafe. The
silence turned a bit uncomfortable since the youth took out his earphones, but
that didn't discourage their walk towards the cafe.
After they got inside, they saw a table near the window. Heading the place in a
silent agreement, they sat facing each other.
"I'm Levi, what's your name?" He asked, trying not to sound too eager.
"I'm Eren, pleased to meet you."
"The pleasure is mine." So polite, he thought. He offered a tiny smile before
continuing "I take it that you were exercising? You look quite athletic."
Eren blushed and smiled "I was jogging and since it's too late to jog back home
I just take the train."
"I see. It would be dangerous to jog all the way back too, you take the train
quite far from here."
"Yeah," He said before the waitress came and asked for their order. Eren asked
for a coffee and Levi asked for black tea. After she left, the boy looked into
Levi's eyes for a second, then quickly looked away, checking his reflection on
the glass of the window. He fixed his hair in a nervous fashion as he spoke "I
was thinking that today I should ask your name, because soon I won't take the
train at that time anymore."
"Oh?" It was Levi's turn to be surprised. He knew his eyes had sparkled at that
time. Maybe they had this mutual interest in each other? That would be good.
Maybe he would like to keep in touch?
"Will you make other plans for the upcoming night? Or will you just stop
jogging?"
"Well I'm on holidays, and once the summer is over, my free days will be over
too."
"I see. So are you a student?" Levi asked, resting his chin on his palm.
"Yes, I'm on my first year of high school."
It was a good thing that their order arrived, because it distracted Eren's gaze
from Levi's embarrassment. So he was interested in a 15 years old kid? He
wanted to sink in that seat and hope that the ground would swallow him. He let
Eren's body fool him. He was quite tall after all, though his features didn't
look very mature, but that's okay because he could have been near his twenties.
However, he wasn't, and now Levi felt like running away.
But the warm smile Eren beamed at him after he took a sip of his coffee held
him tight on his chair.
...
Eren didn't jog on his last day of holidays. He wanted to look his best
tonight.
Yesterday at the cafe, they talked quite a lot. He learned that Levi was indeed
a business man, and that he didn't live far from Eren's house. But he could
tell that in the middle of their conversation Levi started to look very
troubled, as if something was wrong, but he couldn't figure what. He thought
maybe Levi was worried by his own stuff so he decided to say goodbye to the
man.
Even though Levi looked relieved that they were parting, he insisted on walking
Eren home. He said something about it being his fault that Eren was getting
home so late, so he should make sure to deliver him home safely. Eren was glad
for that, because as they walked home the shortie seemed to relax again.
Maybe what he was worried about wasn't such a big deal. Maybe it was just the
fact that he was causing Eren to get home late that was making him look
troubled. Whatever it was, today would hopefully be different. He wanted to get
closer to that man that looked so cool. Eren was totally crushing on him.
The boy sighed and sat down on a bench in the station. Today he was dressing
smarter, no jogging outfit. He was also wearing some cologne and even got there
before the train arrived. It seemed that Levi wasn't there yet. Eren put his
earphones on and hummed to his favourite songs as his keen eyes searched for
the black haired man.
Eren jumped on his seat when he felt a hand pat him softly on the shoulder, and
then smiled relieved when he saw standing behind him the man he was waiting
for. He felt a bit silly for barely being able to hide his eagerness while
removing the earphones, but he figured that Levi was happy to see him too,
because he was holding two cups of coffee.
"You're early, Eren." Levi said, handing him the extra cup of coffee
"Thank you! And yes, about that," he scratched the back of his neck "It's the
last day I'll take the late train so I wanted to see you again."
He felt uneasy when those eyes pierced through him, but Levi quickly looked
away and took a sip of his coffee. "We live quite close to each other. If you
want to meet it doesn't need to be at the train station so far away."
Eren blushed. Of course, that was an obvious thing what he pointed out. But at
least Levi didn't seem against meeting him somewhere else or just meeting at
all, and that was great news for the boy.
"...So where could I meet you?" Eren hesitantly asked.
Levi hummed and drank more of his coffee. He had a very thoughtful expression.
"Could be that cafe we went to yesterday!" The green eyed boy suggested,
receiving a nod of approval. "Would you like to visit my place some time?" He
hoped he wasn't being too hasty, but he did want to get close to Levi. He
wondered how the other man felt about it, but he didn't really know how to
knack the subject.
He thought Levi looked troubled again, but he quickly took another sip of his
coffee and looked at Eren with the corner of his eyes "Sure," he said.
"Sometime."
...
The train arrived and as it slowly stopped, they got on their feet and walked
towards the vehicle.
Levi sighed as he fell 2 steps behind. He was giving in easily. He was ashamed
of himself, but at the same time he was not. Even though on the previous day he
learned Eren was still 15. He felt bad and he knew that Eren had noticed, but
couldn't quite point out what was the matter.
And there he was now, allowing Eren to get closer and seeking for closeness all
the same. He was infatuated and there was no denying it. His senses of
rightness or wrongness were just a nuisance, but he couldn't completely ignore
them.
He felt hypnotized by those eyes and lips, and somehow his musical taste just
made him irresistible. Maybe he was reading too much porn on his cell phone. He
shook his head absent-mindedly and just noticed what he was doing when Eren
stopped talking and looked disappointedly at him.
"I'm sorry, were you saying something?" he quickly asked.
"Yes. Are you worried about something? You looked like you were in another
planet just now." He replied, biting his cheek.
"I'm sorry. It's nothing I should trouble you with. Anyway, I suppose you are
free tonight too?"
"Ah, yes I am. We could do something fun!"
Levi quickly averted his eyes, looking through the glass at the buildings that
rushed past them. Something fun huh? Levi's idea of something fun was probably
totally different from whatever that innocent kid had in mind. The short man
almost punched himself. He felt so pathetic.
He needed to run away.
But he didn't want to.
"What do you suggest?" He asked Eren politely, looking at him with the corner
of his eye.
"Hmm." He definitely saw Eren blush. He did. Didn't he? "I suppose arcade games
probably don't interest you anymore?" asked the boy, sheepishly.
Of course. He blushed because he thought of the age difference and how Levi
probably a boring oldman. He should prove him wrong. "To tell you the truth, I
enjoy it quite a lot," he felt encouraged when Eren's smile grew wide "I just
don't have much time anymore, you know."
"Well tonight seems you have a little time for it!"
"I guess"
Good decision, bad decision? He didn't know. He just knew that he felt like a
teenager just like Eren, with butterflies in his stomach and the thrill of
experiencing something he shouldn't be doing.
***** "How do I Shut my Mind Down?" *****
"Damn, when you said you enjoyed it, it didn't sound like you were the pro you
are!" Eren said, quite frustrated that he had lost to Levi at Tekken three
times in a row. Levi just grinned.
They were at the local arcade, which was located quite close from Eren's house,
but not as close to Levi's. It didn't matter, though, because all that Levi
wanted was to deliver Eren home safely.
Levi did not know at what time Eren was expected home, but he wouldn't be the
first to say it was time to go. He had trouble enough proving he hadn't lost
his skills at the arcade, so suggesting it was time to part would make him
sound like the boring uncle.
He winced at the thought of being called 'uncle'. He just hoped Eren didn't
think he was the 'cool uncle' either.
"Levi, are you okay?" the man didn't realise he was making faces.
"Eh... Yes. I just need some drink."
...
At the same time that Eren wanted to do more things with Levi, he knew that he
should be going home soon. He was glad that Levi didn't have the troubled face
he showed last time they hung out, even though a while ago he seemed to be
rather thoughtful.
Eren took a sip from his soda can, watching as Levi paid for the drinks. He
made himself comfortable on a chair and sighed contently. The shortie was quite
hot - he thought. He watched the way the man moved, now that they weren't so
close to each other. He was going to miss the fact that they wouldn't be
meeting anymore at the train and he wouldn't be sitting across the aisle
watching him from the corner of his eye. But now that he could do more than
watch from distance, he felt he needed to do more than just look. His body told
him so.
He thought of himself scratching Levi's undercut, as the man was doing it
himself. He wondered if it was soft, if his skin was warm.
If they could kiss.
The youth sat straight on the chair, as he realised he had been sliding into a
way too relaxed position. He was starting to let his mind wander too far. But
he couldn't help but thinking at every minute what it would be like if he tried
to listen to his inner voice tonight.
"I don't think you can lose at any more games tonight" - Levi teased,
approaching Eren. He drank the rest of his soda can with a smirk on his face.
Eren, who was distracted by his thoughts, barely realised Levi was back. But as
soon as he heard what was said, he smirked back, accepting defeat and finishing
his own can. "I guess we should call it a night" He heard himself say, quite
disappointed that he was the one to mention. "But there will be a next! For
payback!" He added.
He really hoped so.
"Sure thing" said the shorter man, offering a hand to help Eren stand from the
chair, which the youth gladly accepted. He was eager to touch.
...
They walked to Eren's house in a comfortable silence. Levi felt refreshed with
Eren's company; it had been ages since he felt like that. He had noticed,
though, that something was bothering Eren since they left the Arcade.
Very close to an alley, Levi decided to say something and hopefully encourage
Eren to say whatever he wanted.
"So, did the cat eat your tongue or are you getting sleepy?"
It was too dark to see anything clearly, but the way Eren looked back at him
definitely meant that sleep was the last thing to cross that boy's mind at that
moment, even though his eyes weren't as wide as before. They gleamed with a
dark shade of green and untold intentions. Levi took a deep breath.
"I've been trying to reason, but there's no way I can just let it pass" Eren
suddenly said, with a groan.
"Let it pass?" Levi raised an eyebrow. What?
Before Levi had time to think what, he had hot lips over his and his back
against the cold wall. He raised his arms in order to protest somehow, but they
got pinned parallel to his body, by Eren's strong grip.
The scent of Eren's perfume caught his senses, and a wave of numbness reached
his knees. He closed his eyes and slowly gave into that feeling.
Deep inside he knew he wanted it, maybe just like that, maybe not as rough, but
he was as sure of it as he was sure that that boy was going to be the end of
him.
"Hmm" Levi felt Eren's groan vibrate against his lips. It wasn't a sound he
wouldn't like to hear again, and the soft hot lips were more than welcome. That
warmth was more than welcome, because it was Eren. How could that be?
Levi felt the grip around one of his wrists loosening and making its way to his
shoulders. That hand squeezed Levi softly as Eren's lips played with his, in a
hot catching game. The man unconsciously licked those lips, earning another
groan, followed by the warmth of Eren's tongue meeting his own.
Kissing never felt that good. He wrapped his arms around the brunette's neck,
wanting more of it and seeking support for his weakened knees.
Eren suddenly slid his arm from around Levi's shoulder to his waist and pulled
him even closer, pressing their lower bodies close together and deepening the
kiss. The short man heard himself moan into that kiss when he felt Eren's hand
stroking his undercut. The soft friction gave him wonderful chills.
He felt like he had been waiting to feel like this since forever.
He gasped when Eren's hand wandered dangerously over his lower body. He would
have been okay with it if his mind hadn't started to scream.
How do I shut my mind down? He thought to himself, the thrill of that moment
making his heart race madly.
He knew that Eren couldn't read his mind, but maybe he could sense how troubled
he was, for he rubbed between Levi's legs and then the man thought of nothing
else but that feeling. He moaned quietly and that seemed to have encouraged
Eren to continue.
Levi could feel the cold night breeze blowing softly against his stomach as his
shirt got slowly lifted and Eren's fingers caressed his skin. He opened his
eyes and met Eren's, silently asking for things that Levi really should deny
but at the same time he was more than happy to give.
He wouldn't say anything. He wouldn't hint anything. He wouldn't be blamed if
he just allowed Eren to take control, would he? He closed his eyes again,
anxiety making his lip tremble.
...
Levi looked like he wanted it. Without words or gestures. Without a look in the
eye that said go ahead. But even so, Eren felt that those closed eyes and the
sigh that escaped those trembling lips meant consent.
He didn't think he would do that tonight, and when he started, he didn't think
that he would go that far or wish to go even further. But he wanted it. The
more he touched, the more he wanted to feel that skin and to taste those lips.
He wanted to taste much more. He wanted to eat that manalive. Eren didn't know
when those thoughts got into his mind, but they were there and they spoke
louder each time, dictating his actions, provoking his needs, numbing his
common sense.
His hands were itching to touch that burning skin. He trailed with his fingers
the path from the navel to the buttom of Levi's trousers and watched
attentively Levi's Adam pome move at each swallow.
Without any further thought, he kissed that pale neck and quickly slid his hand
inside Levi's trousers. He loved the feeling of sensing through the skin of
Levi's neck another surprised gasp. But Eren didn't stop at that. He softly
scratched the hair, enjoying how it tickled his fingertips
He wanted to explore every inch of Levi's body. He wanted Levi to be his only.
Eren sunk his hand further and reached for Levi's cock, closing his hand around
it. It was so hot.
"HEY YOU TWO, GO GET A ROOM!" somebody shouted.
The brunette quickly took his hands off Levi, looking around for the owner of
the voice. Levi's face was so pale that it looked like he had seen a ghost.
Eren couldn't see anyone nearby after all, and would be ready to go back to
what he was doing before if Levi didn't look so troubled. What was it that was
troubling him this time?
"Eren, I'll be heading home now" Levi said in one breath, quickly fixing his
hair.
"Wha-wait!" He tried to grab Levi's arm, but the shortie was faster, and just
like that he quickly walked away, without saying goodbye and without looking
back.
What did I do wrong?Eren wondered.
***** Choice *****
It was a Wednesday and there was a tiny spot on his ceiling. Right above his
head, threatening to dive into his perfectly white sheets.
But Levi paid it no attention, because his mind was still recovering from what
happened a few hours ago.
He could ask himself what was he thinking that he allowed it to happen, on such
an open place, but he already knew the answer to that. He had simply ignored
everything that would hold him down. He was blinded by desire. He shut his mind
up and just let himself be dominated.
The sun was rising and the morning light started to bathe the corner of his
bedroom. He hadn't been able to sleep since he left Eren. He would keep on
rolling back and forth, trying to relax, but sleep just would not come.
He had ran away for good. He knew that. He just wished that things hadn't
happened this way. He would rather have said goodbye to Eren, but thinking
straight at that time just wasn't going to happen anymore. Besides, that voice
that interrupted them sounded dangerously familiar.
Levi decided to just give up on trying to get any rest. He kicked his sheets,
annoyed at his insomnia, and searched with his feet for his slippers.
It was 6 am, he still had some time before getting ready for work. He would
prepare himself some tea and sulk until the alarm reminded him that he still
had a whole day to endure.
...
Levi entered the office room walking fast. He was usually the first to arrive
and the last to leave. As the chief of his section, he liked to be sure that
everything was on the right place when he arrived and before he went home.
He went straight to his little office room and sat on his large leather chair.
His monitor was full of memos left by his friend Hanji. He hated when she did
that.
The small sticky and colourful notes were pulled one by one after their
contents were read.
Lecture on the new systems interface at 10 am
Meeting about the internships at 2pm
Happy Hour tonight - don't run away!
Snorting a laugh, he picked the last note and stared at it. They never gave up
on trying to drag him into these things.
He should try to put his thoughts in order rather than watch his colleagues get
drunk.
...
Eren watched the streets with more than his usual interest, looking through the
glass of the bus. Somehow, he was hoping to find Levi walking on the streets,
just waiting for Eren to pass by. But he knew that it wasn't going to happen,
because Levi just took the late train, and it was still 5 pm.
He wondered if Levi would ever look for him. It's not like he put resistance to
Eren's move, although he tried to at first, but he quickly gave in. Levi seemed
to want it too, suddenly kissing with such a need, like someone who was
repressing feelings and then suddenly allowing them out at once.
The sun would set soon and Eren thought of the evenings he jogged feeling the
summer's night breeze. He was gonna miss it. As much as he would miss Levi's
company on his way back.
He got off the bus close to the cafe they went in to talk for the first time.
Walking with decisive steps, he sought that same table by the window and sat on
the same seat he occupied last time.
"An expresso, please."
...
Not for the first time, Levi would silently get away before everyone started to
gather for Happy Hour. By the time he was missed, he would be already by the
train station.
Levi was content with himself for successfully escaping it again. He wasn't
unsociable, and sometimes he felt like he should seek more social interactions,
but his co workers just talked about work even when drunk, so no point.
Having left work earlier, he wouldn't be taking the last train. He entered his
usual wagon and made his way to his favourite seat. Looking at the side Eren
used to pick transported him back into those silent trips with curious glances.
He had no idea of what to do yet. He knew where Eren lived, but after his
desperate retreat, he would feel really pathetic for coming back and knocking
on Eren's door saying 'Hi, I'm back, sorry for running away yesterday, please
put up with my childish adult issues!'
Yes, childish, because even though Eren was the youngest, he seemed exactly to
know what he wanted and knew how to do what he was doing, unlike Levi, who was
trying not to drown into his insecurities.
The thing is, would Eren have done more than what he already did if he had the
chance? Although it didn't depend entirely on Eren, Levi found himself bound to
Eren's desire, because while they were at it, he just couldn't run away.
His trip back home passed in the blink of an eye, Levi had barely noticed, for
his mind was filled with worries.
He crossed the street and passd by the arcade, not really looking in there.
Next on his way was the cafe. He did look inside this time, but there was no
sign of Eren. On the table they picked the last time there was just an empty
cup.
Well, now this is pathetic of me. He sighed and made his way home, without
looking around for Eren anymore.
...
Eren looked impatiently at the clock. The last train had already arrived, but
there was no sign of Levi.
The boy sighed dejectedly as he realised that they were closing the gates,
which meant that there was no one else inside the station.
Getting on his feet, he decided to walk back home, kicking stones on his way.
He heard at some point the sound of dogs barking wildly coming from the way he
was heading. Speeding up his pace, he tried to find the place from which the
sound was coming from. As soon as he got to the corner of the street, two dogs
ran past him, the second chasing after the first, with bloody wounds. Without
thinking twice, he ran after them.
...
The spot was still there. It still wasn't bothering Levi. Unless it started to
move, it would help him focus. Finding a place to focus his gaze on that plain
ceiling helped him think more clearly.
He had had a nap after he came back from work. Now that he was rested, his mind
urged him to think of his problem.
Not having seen Eren on that day also helped to shift part of his ability of
taking decisions back into his brain, whereas other things insisted on remain
rooted in his heart.
Although it wasn't the choice his heart wanted to make, he thought that maybe
not looking for Eren at all would be the best decision he could take. The most
mature choice he could make about Eren.
Besides, he remembered how Eren said that he couldn't let it pass, as if it was
the only chance. The last chance. This thought brought the fear that he had
possibly been just a summer crush from a teenager full of blooming hormones.
Of course that Levi was mature enough to understand that these things happened
to everyone, and he also had had his own summer dates. Just as long as his need
lasted. But falling victim to it, this time seemed to hurt.
Despite his inner struggle, he had decided that the right thing to do was to
just keep on doing things as he always did: just keep on living as if nothing
happened, and whatever came after that would be left for fate to decide.
Just as he made his decision, the dogs in the neighbourhood started to back
insanely loud. The sound of dog whimpers alerted him that there was a stray dog
fight nearby.
What a bother. He thought.
The fight seemed to be getting closer to his door, and soon he heard voices
too.
"SHOOOO! GO AWAY, YOU BAD DOG!"
"Leave my dog alone, you idiot!"
"Don't you see what your dog is doing to this poor thing! Learn to control your
dog, you horse face!"
"LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR MOUTH, YOU LITTLE SHIT! DON'T HURT MY DOG!"
Levi immediately got on his feet and put on a shirt. He also grabbed a broom as
he headed the door. It seemed that he would have more than one fight to pull
apart.
On the moment he looked through the window before opening his door, he realised
that fate didn't decide anything. It made things happen, but the final choice
would always be his own. He took a deep breath.
***** Struggle *****
The focus of the fight kept on shifting from the dogs' fight to the bickering
with Jean, Eren's friend from school.
Carelessly getting into the way between the dogs, Eren had already quite a
collection of bite marks and scratches on his arms. Even so, Eren didn't give
up on trying to free the stray dog from Jean's dog's attack.
"What are you doing, you're gonna break my dog's neck!" Jean cried, trying to
pull Eren away from his dog.
"Let go of me, you retard! If you enjoy seeing bloodshed I'll make sure that
all you see is red after I'm done here!"
"Stop being so fucking noisy, some people are already sleeping."
Eren got surprised at the familiar voice saying such unmannered words and
looked at the direction the sound came from, quite surprised that from all
places, he ended up right at Levi's door.
"Levi! Help me!" He didn't think twice about asking for his help, but that
didn't mean that he didn't even notice how Levi looked completely different
without a suit on.
"You two, stop fighting and get away from the dogs" Levi commanded, shoving the
broomstick between Jean and Eren and then proceeding to pull the dogs apart.
"Who's that guy thinking he is?" Jean asked, frowning at his ways with the
broom.
"... He's my friend." Eren answered, after a while. He supposed he could say
that afterall. Couldn't he?
As soon as Levi managed to pull the dogs apart, Eren ran for the stray dog,
picking it up on his arms, to prevent another fight, and Jean hooked the lead
back on his ranaway dog's collar.
"You get lost with your dog" Levi said qickly to Jean with a tired look,
apparently annoyed at the whole situation. The blonde didn't argue and turned
on his heels, dragging his dog with him quickly.
Eren was still standing there, holding the wounded dog and watching Levi, still
not quite sure of what to do next. He didn't expect their next meeting to be
anything like that.
He put the stray dog back on the floor, and on the blink of an eye, it ran away
from the place.
"Hey! Where are you going?" Eren cried, indignant. "After all I did for him...
uugh..."
Levi shook his head quietly, and after a moment he sighed tiredly."Maybe it has
somewhere to go. Better this way."
"I suppose... It makes me worried though."
"You should worry about your wounds," Levi said, pointing at Eren's arms. "Come
inside, let's clean them."
Eren felt a shiver run through his spine at the thought of getting inside
Levi's house. What would it be like? What could happen inside?
What would they talk about?
Levi turned around and walked towards his door with his broom. He mumbled
something about vacines that Eren couldn't quite understand. The man looked
over his shoulder as to make sure Eren was following him, and at this sign,
Eren followed, with excitment and confusion somehow mixed in his heart.
...
I'm giving in, I'm giving in, I am - was all that Levi could think as he walked
past the threshold.
He had failed yet again at avoiding to deepen bounds with Eren. But he just
couldn't ignore the situation, not to mention that fate was insisting on this,
getting Eren into his way just like that, almost knocking at his door.
After he had made up his mind about the whole thing.
"Thank you, Levi. For helping me."
"It's no problem." he answered slowly, without looking back.
It really was no problem helping. The problem lied much beyond that, but even
so, it wasn't a problem for himself. It was the kind of problem that other
people created and yet it would somehow end up affecting him. He wished he
could just avoid it.
"Your house is very beautiful. Do you live alone, Levi?"
He sensed a tone of eagerness on Eren's voice, trying to break the silence,
trying to reach out for him. It awakened his butterflies.
Stupid butterflies.
Levi turned to face Eren when they reached the middle of the living room and
almost made the youth bump into him.
"Oops!"
"Sorry," Levi apologised quickly."Eren, stay here, I'll get you some clean
clothes and you take a shower first, okay? You look filthy."
"Um... sure."
The man went into his bedroom and looked in his wardrobe for the largest t-
shirt he owned and a pair of trousers. He also pulled the first aid kit from
the top shelf, placing everything neatly on the bed. He looked fixedly at
everything he gathered, trying to put his thoughts on the right place.
Tonight he had to convince his brain that it had to be the decision maker
again.
He massaged the back of his neck, trying to relax, and looked up at his
ceiling, noticing the spot. It was starting to bother him.
Taking the spare clothes with him and heading the bathroom, he turned the
lights on once inside and looked around quickly to see if everything was in
order. Levi placed the clothes on the cabinet, and turning on the hot water, he
called for Eren.
"There. Call me if you need anything," he said. "I'll be in the kitchen." He
pointed at his left, showing Eren which direction he would go.
"Okay," Eren said, closing the door.
Those green eyes seemed a bit lost.
...
Everything was happening so fast that Eren kinda felt like things were running
over him. The annoying part was that it felt like nothing had happened between
them in the end. It felt like everything was fine, since none of them mentioned
what happened yesterday, even so he still wanted to ask what was going on.
He wanted to pick up from where they stopped.
From where they were so rudely interrupted.
Eren heard himself moan as the hot water made his muscles relax. The wounds
didn't hurt at all, because other feelings were blocking his senses.
He looked at his reflection at the mirror through the glassy shower doors. That
bathroom said a lot about Levi. He didn't get a reply about who lived with the
shortie for some reason, but everything about that house told him that Levi was
living alone: the way everything was so neatly arranged, the single toothbrush
on the sink, the matching cologne and deodorant.
After the shower, he examined the clothes Levi brought him and smiled at the
plain white t-shirt and trousers. He just never thought of Levi wearing
anything other than that black suit that made him look so serious.
Soon he left the bathroom and looked around for a hint of where the kitchen
was. But Levi was making noise in there, so he followed with his ears.
He didn't enter the kitchen right away. He watched as Levi prepared the first
aid kit for him, as well as some tea. The man looked anxious, moving fast,
mumbling to himself. Was he worried about Eren?
For a moment Eren had forgotten how to breathe, but it lasted just until their
eyes met accidentally and Levi stopped whatever he was doing.
"Why don't you come in?" Levi walked to him and grabbed his hand, making him
sit on the chair, sitting in front of him afterwards to examine his arm. "It
looks a lot better now that you washed it"
"And I'm smelling good too!" Eren added sheepishly and grinned. Levi replied
with a tiny smile.
"So, besides arms are you hurt anywhere else?"
"I guess just a few scratches on my chest, but it's nothing"
They fell silent as Levi applied the antiseptic and put some bandages around
the wounds.
"Levi,"
"Yes?" he replied, quickly glancing at Eren's eyes and then back at his task.
"Is it okay if I ask you why you walked away yesterday?" Eren watched
attentively at every change in Levi's expression.
The man took his time to reply. Eren could hear the man breathing heavily, as
if there was something wrong with him. He watched as Levi finished his task and
finally moved his lips to form an answer
"I guess maybe we got too carried away. We were on a public place, in our
neighbourhood. That could have become a problem later"
Eren digested the words slowly. WWhat kind of problem did he mean?
"Because we are both men?" he asked tentatively.
Levi looked at Eren as if he had said something odd.
"Well, I don't really have a problem with that, now that you mention. You
certainly don't, too, right? I was actually talking about the fact that I'm
twice your age and you're still a high schooler. Isn't that bigger problem than
kissing another man?"
Kissing was an understatement at that rate.
"I don't see it as a problem."
"... I'm not gonna pretend that everything is fine anymore, that fact had been
bothering me for a while. I felt guilty for being interested in someone so
young, and I had tried not to get involved in that kind of relationship. But
then you wanted it too and I couldn't stop myself."
Levi looked at Eren, who listened to him silently, and drank some of his tea
before continuing.
"I had decided today not to look for you anymore. But then you appeared at my
door and now I'm trying to put my thoughts back into place"
"I.. I don't even know what to say" Eren spoke, quietly "I suppose things are
easier for me, and just like that I started everything, not considering your
feelings. But,"
"...But?"
"But I'm not giving up on you."
Levi raised his eyebrows.
"I promise that you won't have problems with it, so you won't have to struggle
anymore and I won't do embarrassing things in public. Can we try that?"
Levi laughed softly and rested his chin on his palm, leaning over the kitchen
table. Eren didn't know what that laugh meant. Did he sound foolish?
"Don't make that face, Eren. I'm not laughing at you,"
Phew
"...it's just that in the end, no matter what I decide, I really can't say no
to you."
***** Paint my Doubts *****
NOT WHAT IT SEEMS
Paint my Doubts
Eren stared boredly at the teacher and prayed that the time would fly so he
would meet with Levi again.
To his disappointment, yesterday Levi sent him home right after saying
something so promising. Just to what he couldn't say no?
"Whaaat already?" Eren protested utterly offended, as Levi slowly got on his
feet, meaning to walk him to the door.
"Yes, it's late and we both have important things to do in the morning. We talk
tomorrow."
"It's just school! And I wanna talk now! And kiss you and stuff..." he trailed
off.
"And stuff?" Levi raised an eyebrow, looking quite amused. "Don't be so
impatient, we will have a lot of time to do everything you want."
Eren took advantage of his own strength and pulled a caught-off-guard Levi onto
his lap, under weak protests and reasonable worries about Eren's wounds. "Let
me kiss you at least, Levi. No one is looking" the youth whispered boldly into
Levi's ear. He felt through his resting hand on the man's back how a shiver
went up his spine.
There was barely any physical resistance and so Eren latched his lips onto
Levi's neck and trailed it with kisses until he got to the corner of Levi's
small lips. Levi breathed through his mouth, with his eyes closed.
"No one is looking" Eren repeated against those lips, like a mantra. Maybe
these would be the magic words to make Levi feel more comfortable.
He scratched Levi's undercut as he tried to angle their shy kiss. That short
hair felt like velvet against his fingertips.
Eren had never felt so much want towards anyone. Not that he had had many. He
actually hadn't given love a real shot until now, and at this moment, with
Levi, he just wanted to drown.
It really felt like he was losing himself in a deep sea. Lust felt like a wave
washing over his body, and kissing that man felt like his source of air. He
tilted his head backwards, bumping it softly against the kitchen wall, bringing
Levi with him. He hadn't noticed how Levi got to straddle him, but he was, and
every time their crotch rubbed against each other they moaned deeply and their
tongues lingered.
Eren wanted to pick up from where they stopped.
With this thought on his mind, he slid his hand inside Levi's shorts and cupped
his balls, earning a surprised gasp into the kiss. But that didn't make him
stop touching and didn't make Levi stop kissing. He slid his middle finger
between them, massaging the base of Levi's hardened cock.
It was so hot. He wanted to taste it.
"I wanna suck you, Levi" he whispered wantonly, close to Levi's earlobe and
earned a deep moan. Levi pressed his cock hard against Eren's hand, as if
encouraging him.
Eren didn't wait for a second encouragement. He got on his feet, holding Levi
by his hips and placed him carefully onto the kitchen table, with impressive
skill.
Levi looked surprised at first and his body tensed up, but easily surrendered
to Eren's touch again when the youth pulled Levi's cock out of his shorts and
sucked the head with all the hunger he had been bearing for that man.
Levi moaned again, and it felt like music to Eren's ears. He stared at Levi's
dark eyes as he sucked him. They were even darker with lust. He cupped the
balls again, massaging them in a circular pattern, his mouth fixed around the
pulsating cock. 'That man is beautiful' Eren though.
"E-Eren..."
"I wanna make you come" Eren said, in one breath, as he slid Levi in and out of
his mouth, savouring the mild salty flavour of the precum.
"Fuck..." He heard Levi say when he sucked particularly hard. Eren purred with
every moan that escaped that man's lips and with every stroke from Levi's
trembling hands on his hair. He felt want and pleasure through that hand
pulling at his hair, gently at times, roughly at others, and it made Eren's
mouth grow even hungrier.
He didn't want tonight to end. But just as he thought that, the sudden change
of taste in his mouth signalised that Levi was done.
Eren was still bending over Levi as he swallowed, and without moving he watched
Levi catch his breath. When he first saw that man in the train he never thought
he would get to see him like that.
That was a sight he would never forget.
"EREN!"
A violent shake and a familiar voice brought him back to reality.
"Wh-what?" Eren recognized the familiar face, it was Armin, his best friend.
"Don't 'what' me! You were drooling over your notes just now, and you couldn't
even hear us. The bell rang a while ago and you didn't even move!"
"Ah... I'm tired" he lied. "I'll be going first, see you tomorrow!" He rushed
to pack his things.
"It's Saturday tomorrow!" Connie yelled from the desk beside Armin's "Really,
what's in your mind? You sound completely lost. Do you even remember your
name?"
"Maybe that oldman did something to him!" Jean teased, receiving a death glare
from Eren.
"What oldman?" Mikasa asked dangerously.
"You know what, just leave me alone! Jean if you keep on saying crap I'm gonna
punch that horse face of yours!" Eren tried to force his way out of the circle
that was forming around him.
"Why did you get so defensive, chill man!" Jean laughed.
"What oldman, Eren" Mikasa asked again.
"It's just a friend who helped me save a stray dog from Jean's poor dog
control" Eren explained in one breath while trying to get away.
The green-eyed youth quickly left the classroom, leaving his friends behind.
After that they sure would think that there was something wrong with him, when
actually, he was feeling perfectly fine. He was just caught in a moment that he
wished to be alone with his thoughts and that was it.
He just couldn't wait until he got to see Levi.
...
"Why do you have such a dreamy smile on?"
"What?"
"Hanji approached Levi's desk slowly, keeping a safe distance as he picked some
paperwork from the table."
"Let me guess, you escaped happy hour yesterday because you had a date!"
"Nothing I arranged myself."
"Woooo! You didn't even deny it! When was the last time you dated? I bet you
felt like a virgin."
"Stop shitting through your mouth, Hanji. He grunted annoyedly, trying to focus
on his screen. And please close the door when you leave."
"You are always such a gentleman when you want me to go away."
"If you have nothing interesting to say, then get lost. Or rather, how about
you tell me how that task I asked you to do is coming along, hm?"
"Fiiine. I'll get going."
"Good. Please get some work done and stop annoying me on your free time."
Levi sighed as Hanji closed the door and stared at his screen, not really
reading what was in it. This short moment of peace made him remember of
yesterday. Of how he let his guard down as Eren said that no one was looking.
How he came in Eren's mouth on the kitchen table. He never did something like
that on the kitchen table. He would have complained about it before. But now...
now he just wanted to enjoy what he was feeling. He somehow wanted Eren to take
control.
Yesterday he watched Eren walk away from his door and how those green eyes
expressed reluctance on having to leave, but at the same time they expressed
endless satisfaction, for getting to do some of the things that he wanted.
Deep inside Levi was a little afraid. It was a whole new experience, with a
bunch of wants and needs that never before made their way to his heart. It gave
him chills, but he didn't want this feeling to end.
Levi touched his lips and closed his eyes, trying to remember the feeling of
the kiss when he was on Eren's lap. He bit the side of his finger softly.
He dropped his hand and shook his head. "I'm pathetic" he thought. "I do feel
like a virgin".
...
Levi bought two cups of black tea at the train station when he got to his
neighbourhood. It was getting a bit hard to carry both cups and a small plastic
bag containing a mini bucket of white wall paint, but soon one cup would be
done.
He thought that he should just paint over that spot that sneered at him every
time he laid on the bed and tried to find peace to his heart and mind. All he
found was that spot.
The evening was chilly and the streets were calm and silent as usual, although
too calm for a friday. Levi was glad that he found a reason to come back home
earlier than usual. He enjoyed taking a stroll after work, to see the new
trends and stores at downtown, which is why he ended up taking the last train
home. But now he had something better to see, very close to his home.
Even though he was hoping to meet Eren today too, they didn't actually set time
or place to meet. No phone numbers exchanged, just the feeling that Eren would
show up at his door again.
His expectations did not fail him. Eren was happily waving at him in front of
Levi's house, holding a bag probably containing the clothes he borrowed from
Levi on the previous night. His smile was as bright as a piece of sunshine
"Hey," he greeted his sunshine, a bit unsure of how to proceed. He licked the
tea from his lips.
"Evening! ...I brought your clothes back!"
"Thanks... Are you okay? Did your scratches heal?"
"Yeah they were nothing serious, I'm as good as new!" Eren laughed.
Levi smiled too. " ... You wanna get in?" He asked quietly.
"Sure. Let me hold that bag for you", Eren said, picking the bag of paint as
Levi got the keys out of his pocket.
They quickly got inside, placing the bags on the sofa and the cup of tea on a
small table beside the window.
"Can I greet you properly now?"
Levi couldn't look away from those eyes and those pleading lips. He opened his
arms, waiting for that proper greeting.
The embrace was warm and he could feel Eren's heart pounding fast. Or was it
his own?
He closed his eyes, enjoying Eren's musky scent. He stroked that soft brown
hair and kissed the side of Eren's head.
Levi felt that what was so hard to do before, had started to come easily. His
doubts were shut down by Eren's boldness, just like that paint would forever
seal that spot that stared at him in his sleep.
As his feelings just got deeper and deeper, he realised that what held him down
before would only be overcome by time itself and there was nothing else he
could do but wait for time to make its certain move. Levi knew that waiting
wouldn't take that long, because the truth is that there was no real wait to
start loving.
...
A/N: END! I think... I hope. That almost didn't come out, because I'm bad at
writing long pieces... I get lost hahah! Honestly I had nothing else but drama
to throw in their way, but I thought naaah, let them be happy, I don't wanna
give them a hard time! Sorry for taking that long to update, but I really
didn't know whether to end this or continue… so I decided to finish it for the
best! Also, I finished writing it listening to "Weak" by AJR! It totally fits
Levi in this story hehe! I hope you liked it and thank you for reading until
the end and thank you for the kind reviews! You really cheered me up! See you
next time!
End Notes
     That was based on an illustration by a friend on DA, which was called
     Not what it seems xD That's why I named the story that, even though
     it might not make that much sense afterall xD It was a pair of comic
     stips, one in which Eren was listening to music looking cute, but he
     was actually listening to Hatefuck, and the other was Levi looking at
     his phone quietly on his corner, but he was actually enjoying some
     porn xD So I liked the concept so much that I told the artist that I
     was gonna write something about it sometime... It's still in progress
     but I hope it will match the strips in quality hehe!
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!