Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/323036. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Homestuck Relationship: Bro/Dave_Strider, Bro_&_Dave_Strider Character: Bro_Strider, Dave_Strider, John_Egbert, Rose_Lalonde, Jade_Harley, Dad_ (Homestuck), Vriska_Serket Additional Tags: Sibling_Incest Collections: I've_read_this_a_million_times Stats: Published: 2011-08-18 Chapters: 26/26 Words: 43238 ****** Not Allowed ****** by SnazzyCookies Summary Originally a fill_from_the_kink_meme - *** I basically need more of this pairing like burning. I'd like something from Bro's point of view this time around, maybe watching Dave grow up and becoming more affectionate the older he gets and realizing he has lust for him or something idk, but I want him pining and angsting as much as Bro can pine and angst. Bonus points for smut but if you just want to write some Bro internal conflict, go for it. *** Notes See the end of the work for notes ***** Chapter 1 ***** The first time it happened, he was ten. It was just like any other day; Bro went to pick the kid up from school like he always did. He wasn't paying much attention to anything, just eying the moms in minivans warily as they casually drove too close to his car. Not that the car was worth anything- Bro had never been able to hold down any kind of proper job- but he didn't want extra scratches on it if he didn't have to have them.  He looked up and saw some kid step out of the building with a perfect swagger in his walk; not the dopey irregular steps of most children but a thing with a rhythm, and he'd thought it was hot. The thought was a bit creepy, but that was all; that was all it would ever be- except when the kid turned around, it was Dave, and Bro's blood turned to ice. Dave flung open the passenger door, casually tossed his backpack into the back seat, shouted something back at his friends and plopped his ass down. Bro knew his face was the same stoic nothingness it always was. But he didn't trust his voice. He didn't trust it. "Sup." Dave said. Bro threw the car into drive and concentrated on battling his way through the parking lot, around the buses. "Am I in trouble?" Dave only asked in response to Bro's silence. "No. Seatbelt." he managed, and as he watched Dave buckle it from the corner of his eye, he felt nothing unusual at all, and sighed with relief that everything was normal again.   The second time it happened was more than a year later, when the kid was eleven and Bro went to pick him up from a pool party. He just wandered into the back yard, following the annoying sound of a bunch of screaming, laughing kids and happened to catch Dave exactly as he came out of the water and was pulling himself up on the side of the pool, and it turned him on. Bro felt nauseous. First, it was so cliché it was about as far from irony as one could get. Second, the feeling faded almost instantly as Dave ran around the pool back to the diving board just like a child. And third, it was just no. Just...no. He tried to convince himself it would go away like it had last time- and then was completely appalled that he remembered the last time, long ago as it was. "Hey Bro, watch this!" Dave shouted, and he ran to do some trick off the diving board and messed it up and even John called him derpy, and Bro laughed and shook his head, and everything was normal.   The third time, Dave was nearly twelve. He'd grown ridiculously fast over the summer and his pants were far too short to start school in, and there was no way in hell Bro was letting his kid be seen wearing clothes more dorky than John's. They were in the fitting room and Dave stepped out with no shirt on and a pair of jeans with a tag hanging off of them. He said something, but Bro was only staring at his chest, which all of a sudden had some tone to it that was never there before. "Bro?" "Get whatever you want." he said, and Dave nodded with approval, all of a sudden too mature for goofy smiles and excitement. Bro stared at his back as he disappeared into the stall and when he was out of sight it was like a spell had been broken, and Bro was certain he was the most evil thing that had ever walked the earth. He was much colder to Dave after that as he tried to keep his distance.   Dave was twelve and a half. He had long since stopped being anything remotely dopey, goofy, or excitable. He was fairly good at keeping his emotions in check, not letting them show on his face, and less and less in his voice. Their conversations became ever more brief, ever more cryptic, as Dave started to hide more and more things from him. As it should have been. The Problem, as Bro had come to refer to it in his own mind, happened whenever Dave broke his cool facade. He came home one day, hair mussed, shades cracked with a fat lip. "Get into a fight?" Bro asked, getting up from the couch, a thing he never did, to talk to Dave face-to-face. "Yeah." His voice cracked. "Spit it out." Bro said. "John." Dave answered. "Got himself into trouble again, I had to bail him out." Bro snorted. "That's what you get for being friends with the King of Dork." Dave shrugged, and everything was fine. Then he sniffled. And ugly, wrong things stirred in Bro. "Hey, none of that shit." Bro said, and Dave nodded, but he didn't move, and he didn't stop. He sniffled again. "Grow up." Bro tried again, because he couldn't take this thing. He didn't care if he was being harsh. A harsh moment now was much better for Dave than...than... Bro felt like smashing his own head against the wall, to protect Dave from the horrible, awful thing that was Bro. Instead, he reached out his thumb and wiped the stream of tears that had fallen down Dave's cheek. He put his hand under his chin and lifted his face. "I lost." Dave replied. "John got beat up, too. I'm a shitty friend." Bro pulled the kid into his arms, and he sobbed. Dave was crying but all Bro could think of was how tall he was now; how his face wasn't buried in his stomach like when he was young but was up to his shoulder, now. About how he liked feeling him against him, how he liked holding him in his arms, and he made absolutely certain to keep proper distance at waist level because it would give him away. He was the most disgusting excuse for a human being that ever lived, because holding Dave was fucking hot and Bro's dick wouldn't let him ignore that he was turned on. That night he very seriously contemplated leaving. He'd call CPS himself, tell them he was abandoning his kid, and vanish off the face of the earth, and Dave would never know. Dave would be hurt, he would hate him, but it would be worth it because he would never know a far worse evil. He'd never know the things Bro had known. He'd grow up innocent like a kid should. But in the morning, Bro was still there, and after that, nothing was ever normal again. ***** Chapter 2 ***** Bro tried everything he could to alleviate the Problem. At first, the obvious answer was that he just wasn't getting laid enough. Actually, it had been a pretty good while since he'd had sex, now that he thought about it. That had to be the reason this was happening. He was just too horny. So he went out and flirted shamelessly all night, wallowing in the fuzzy good feeling of being surrounded by bunches of girls and a few guys all hoping he'd pick them to take home. He chose some sexy blonde chick with bouncy knockers and a slightly annoying laugh and brought her to a hotel. He called Dave and told him to order himself a pizza and that he'd be home really late. He had a lot of fun with her, though probably more so because he was drunk, and in the morning when he left he paid for the room at the desk. He felt satisfied, and then relieved. This was what he needed to do. The number of girls increased and the time he spent at home decreased. Not seeing Dave as much also alleviated the Problem, having sex every night with someone different was an awesome distraction and Bro convinced himself he was having the time of his life. Of course, it was all hollow and meaningless; hell, he couldn't even remember most of their names in the morning when he woke up. After a while, women just weren't satisfying anymore. They weren't interesting anymore. So he started to hook up with more guys than ladies, a shift that was sort of gradual which he wasn't entirely aware of. Still, everything was fine, everything... He always blamed the fact that he was drunk and high, that he was overtired and needed sleep, he blamed this, he blamed that, but the fact of the matter was that when Bro had sex with a guy, in his mind it was Dave. He could not stop it from being Dave, he could not stop himself from enjoying it, either, and eventually, tired and exhausted, he gave up trying to stop it. They were just thoughts, after all; he wasn't actually hurting the person he loved most in the whole world (though he'd never say it, especially not now). Dave wasn't really here, in this hotel room; he was safe at home, by himself, with his pizza and internet friends. And so Bro let the thoughts come, he imagined himself fucking his little brother and his little brother liking it, and even as he tasted the bile in his throat from his own disgust, he could not stop. "Going out again?" Dave's voice was perfectly deadpan, just as Bro had taught him, but Bro heard the pain in it anyway. He glanced over his shoulder to see Dave flicking through the channels mindlessly, slouched so that his chin rested on his chest, sitting exactly the way Bro sat. Sitting in his spot on the couch, too, Bro noticed, and his heart cracked, fine spidery hairs of guilt eating away at him from the inside. "Yeah, I'll..." Bro began. "You'll be back in the morning after you've fucked some bimbo, I know, I know." Dave's words caused razor-sharp pain, and Bro choked on a lump in his throat. He hung his coat back up. "You know what? I don't feel like going out tonight." he said. "It's 80's night at the club and the music they pick is the worst shit." Dave's only response was a shrug as he kept his face pointed towards the TV. But Bro knew it mattered to him. How much longer wouldit matter to him? How much longer would Dave actually want him around, before he started going out to clubs and bars himself, getting lost in the night scene, finding his own one- night stands? "Flick over to Netflix, let's rent a movie," he said, jumping over the back of the couch to plop down beside Dave. "Nothing good is out," he said, but there was less sulk in his voice. Bro's heart thumped for the first time in probably forever. He wasn't sure if he could take it, his heart coming alive again like that. But he was committed at least to this movie, now, so. "Nothing good exists," Bro stated. "There's only different levels of ironically good. Pick any level you want, I'm game." Dave chose, and they spent the next two hours dubbing their own lines and making fun of predictable plot twists and awful green-screening effects, and it was so good to hear his voice, it was so good to hear him actually laugh. They had the same extremely dry sense of humor and it felt so good to have someone understand why things were funny, on the first try, without a lengthy explanation. Bro hadn't realized until then how much he had missedhim. When the movie was over Dave flicked to some random channel and left it on some exercise machine infomercial, which he stared at intently. "Out with it." Bro prompted. He could still read Dave like a book, even if everyone else now couldn't. Dave sighed heavily. "It just gets boring around here without you, that's all." I've missed you, which was what Dave meant, and also what Bro heard, in the language of never-saying-what-you-mean that they both spoke. "Yeah, well, sometimes you're slightly less lame than the rest of the world and I need a breather from complete and total infinitely deep lameness." Hanging out with you was awesome tonight. A pause for a moment, and Bro felt himself actually sighing with a little relief. Everything felt right. Everything felt normal. "Is sex really that good?" Ice walls closed in on him from every side. He didn't move from the completely relaxed position he had acquired while sitting at his end of the couch; he didn't tense, he didn't inhale; he gave absolutely no indication of the horrific emotions that tore through him at that statement. His eyes shifted to the right and now he was thinking about it, now he was thinking about the fact that yes, he wanted Dave. All of a sudden the feeling was there, out of nowhere, and it grew impossibly fast. The way his hair fell, blond and perfectly straight, the way his arms lay slack at his sides, the veins in them visible at the surface of his skin because the room was a bit warm, the way his knees bent as he rested his feet on the coffee table. His eyelashes as he stared blankly at nothing in the direction of the TV, eyelashes that Bro could see behind his shades because he sat across from him and Dave's face was in perfect profile. His lips, slightly open, pink and inviting and Bro imagined himself kissing them. He couldn't fight the idea any longer. He wanted to kiss him, to hold him and stroke him and make the sounds that people having sex made come out of him. He swallowed the lump in his throat though he could do nothing about the lump in his jeans, and he was too hot to even feel properly sick about it. He would hate himself later, he knew, but right now, he just sat there and drank Dave in. He had been away for too long; he had missed him too much. Maybe that was the cause of the Problem. He wasn't spending enoughtime with Dave, and so Dave became too rare of a thing in his life, too special, too easy to have such a profound effect on the way Bro felt. Maybe if he spent more time with him, Dave would become dull and boring and annoying to him, the way a little brother should feel. Is sex really that good? Bro finally found his voice. "It totally depends on the person you're with, and I mean that, little dude," he said, because that was the absolute truth, and he was certain that was the exact sort of lesson a good parent should be teaching their kid who was curious about sex. Yes, that was the right thing to say. Dave didn't say a word for a long time after that. "Have you ever found the right person?" he asked, after such a long time Bro's mind had trouble remembering the previous thing said in the conversation. When his mind finally made the connection, that queasy, awful feeling swirled inside of him along with a steady thrumming pleasure and a kind of peace that he was certain he was supposed to hate. "Yeah, probably." he said, and then he would not look at Dave, he refused to tear his eyes from the screen, not even to blink, and it was a long time before he realized he should probably exhale. ***** Chapter 3 ***** Chapter Summary Corresponds to this_section in Dave's point of view. Bro had done what he'd promised himself he'd do. He spent a lot more time with Dave now, and not cheesy "Look at me being a good dad shit let's go to the park, son." time. Just hanging out on Saturday afternoons eating cereal for breakfast and lunch and dinner time, plopping down to make fun of Dave's favorite TV shows time, blasting his own music to drown Dave's out when he was trying to do remixes just to annoy him time. Bro watched his younger brother's spirits lift like a weight had never been on them. He hadn't noticed, probably because he hadn't been around, that Dave had been slowly becoming more and more miserable. Bro had just assumed Dave would have taken the time to see his friends more often, invite John over, or something. But he didn't. In fact he seemed to do it less; Bro couldn't even remember the last time he'd seen the derpy kid, now. He wasn't even sure the two of them were still friends. It bothered him that he didn't know. So he asked. They were just sitting at the kitchen table (covered in various sticky spots of mystery goo that hadn't been cleaned in months), Bro playing his handheld while Dave munched on a chicken sandwich. "So you still friends with John, or what?" Dave froze visibly. Bro raised his eyes over the top of his glasses. He gave Dave a moment to speak, and when he didn't, "Out with it." Dave swallowed the bite he'd been working on and stared in the direction of the refrigerator, not actually looking at anything. The shades never fooled Bro for a moment; he always knew exactly where he was looking, anyway. "It's complicated," Dave said. The list of things that could cause that answer was very short, Bro knew; he also knew this conversation was going to be one to cause problems for him. But he shouldn't let that interfere with being a good parent, a good bro. He snorted. "That only means it’s extremely simple and you just don't want to say it." "Bro I'm gay." Dave spat. If motionless electricity was a thing, that was what Bro felt. First, somehow that had not crossed his mind, though it should have since he himself was bisexual and Dave grew up knowing that. Second, a sick and twisted, mocking form of hope tried to grow in him. He made his best attempt to destroy the feeling. He failed. "So how's that relate to John?" Dave stared at nothing, his face a dead thing, his body motionless. "He isn't." Heavy, thick awkwardness hung in the air and threatened to suffocate them as Dave left whatever was behind that remark remain unsaid. Bro's heart was hammering in his chest and he wanted to tear it out and throw it against the wall, sliding miserably into the trash. Instead, he knew his ears burned red enough for Dave to see and he hoped the kid was too distracted to notice. Comforting. He should say something comforting. "He might change his mind about that. He's young, stupid, and John." Dave wasn't amused. "He deserves better than me." Neither of them said a word for a long, long time. Bro knew the exact feeling. He was in the middle of it, right now. "Bullshit," he finally said. "You're the best thing a dork like John could ever hope for." Dave snorted and stared at the table. "You'd think." "I mean, who in hell passes up a chance to be with a Strider? Only the King of Dork is capable of that shit." A small bit of the corner of Dave's mouth upturned in a fraction of a smile. "Yeah, all I gotta do is just woo his heart a little harder, lay down some sick beats all over that sucker until he realizes how hot being with me fucking is." The pulse pounded in Bro's ears so loudly he nearly went deaf. "Maybe watch some of those movies you hate with him, you know, as an excuse to be together. Maybe school him in irony some." Bro swallowed the horrific taste in his mouth. He was talking about Dave and John, yes, that's who he was talking about. Dave's smile spread a little wider then, as he got into the game. "Yeah, and then when he least suspects it I'll put on my smooth moves, and before he knows it boom there's my arm around his shoulder." "...And there's his sweet little head leaning on you as he sighs like a fairy princess in love..." "...And I'll capture him with my gorgeous dazzling eyes and say cheesy shitty lines from the movie..." "...and just at the most un-ironic moment ever, you lay the patented Strider kiss on him, and he's yours to ride into the fucking sunset." Dave laughed, now, and Bro completely ignored the rancid, black emotions that threatened to swallow him whole. Dave thought Bro was talking about him and John, and that was irony. Or maybe it was truth. He didn't know. "I don't know how to give a fucking kiss." Dave said, and Bro was lost to lust. He'd lost his mind, and he didn't care. "I could teach you." Dave looked up at him quizzically. "What, start bringing your lays here and making out with them in front of me?" Bro found this idea repulsive, and that made him feel good. Okay, he wasn't a total pervert. His perversion had limits. He was completely abusing those limits. "Nah, I'll just kiss you now and you'll learn from that. By the time you get to Egbert, you'll be impossible for him to resist." And then Bro's mind caught up with what he was doing. And he felt those nauseating, sick emotions of self-loathing but even greater than those- and this is what made him the disgusting monster that he was- greater than everything else he felt, he felt fear. Fear that Dave would uncover how he truly felt. Worse, fear that Dave would reject him, and shatter the disgusting, awful depraved dream that Bro held so delicately as if it was precious. The moment between Bro's very serious question and Dave's reply stretched out into forever, and the longer he waited for a reply, the further he sank into the horrific blackness that had replaced within him the thing that had once been a conscience. Dave stared at Bro for what seemed like an eternity. He shouldn't have. He should have just laughed, or shrugged and said either "yeah, okay" or "hell no." Instead, he stared, trying to decipher for himself the exact nature of the situation he was in. Bro watched Dave's face intently. He had just propositioned his younger brother for a kiss and was waiting for a reply. If that alone didn't make Bro the most disgusting creature ever to have been born, the fact that he was rationalizing this was. He was asking. He wasn't taking. Dave could say no. Dave knew he could say no. And in fact, it was precisely because Dave was taking so long to answer that let Bro know Dave knew exactly the true nature of the question. And he was thinking about it. Hard. Dave's shades pointed themselves in the direction of Bro's face. He nodded curtly, never once losing his composure. "Yeah, okay." he said. Bro's heart raced as he uncrossed his arms and walked over to the person who he was raising, the person who was counting on him, the person who depended upon him, though not as much as he used to. Dave stood up from his chair and turned to face Bro, not showing any hint at all that something was amiss. Bro stopped inches from him. The idea that he could back out now tried to cross his mind, but it was laughable. If he backed out now, Dave would know for certain, then. And it would also mean that he'd been wrong- and Bro Strider never admitted when he was wrong. Bro reached out and put his finger under Dave's chin, to lift it a little. Dave was only about four inches shorter than he was, and Bro found himself trying to remember when that had happened. Bro stared directly at Dave's face, his gaze not hidden by his shades this close, his eyes tracing to his lips, and he couldn't stand it any longer. He leaned down and kissed him. At first, Dave only stood there, unsure and undirected. It was his first kiss, after all. But Bro knew what to do; knew how to engage him. He parted his lips slightly and took Dave's bottom lip between his, sucking on it just a little. "Mmmph," Dave said, and with the sound his lips parted and Bro slid his upper lip between them. He took more of Dave's bottom lip into his mouth and ran his tongue over it. Dave groaned, and Bro's heart beat furiously at the realization that Dave was enjoying this. Dave's groan sent his breath flowing into Bro's mouth, and it should have made Bro feel weird, but it didn't. It was only delicious. Bro felt his face flush and his dick grow rigid with lust. He was teetering on the edge of his self-control. But he managed to pull back, their lips lingering for a few more seconds before they parted, and Bro looked into the face of his younger brother as he heard the universe chanting you're sick, you're sick, you're sick. "Wow." Dave said, and Bro noticed only then that Dave's cheeks were flushed and his ears were red. "That's why it's patented." Bro stated, taking another step back. "And why it has the name Strider attached to it." The silence between them was heavy. Very heavy. "So," Bro began. "Are you schooled in the ways of kissing, now?" He saw Dave thinking. He saw a thousand thoughts pass through his younger mind within seconds. "No," he said. "You'd better school me again." Bro's breath came heavily. He put both of his leather-covered palms on the sides of Dave's face and kissedhim. He shook as his nostrils flared and he shoved his tongue deep inside the other Strider's mouth. Dave groaned. Bro's pulse deafened him, his blood was fire. It shouldn't have felt this good. It should have felt weird, this activity should have cured the Problem by causing weird ickiness... Dave raised his tongue back to Bro's experimentally. Bro inhaled sharply through his nose and he knew Dave had to know. He could do nothing about it. He also didn't care. He receded his tongue a little to give Dave room to move his own. His motions were unsteady and erratic and Bro guided him, showing him motions of pattern, teaching him rhythm. He learned perfectly. The level of drool had built up too much and Bro swallowed. The taste was perfect. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wronghis conscience screamed, and he ignored it. He sucked Dave's tongue into his own mouth, capturing him. Dave moaned. He didn't try to pull it back. He didn't fight him. He made zero effort to stop what was happening. Bro's worst nightmare was coming true. Bro was impossibly hot now. He wanted to move his hands from Dave's face and slide them down his body, caress his stomach, grab his ass. You sick fuck, his conscience screamed. He finally listened to it. He released Dave's tongue, letting it slide out from between his teeth as he pulled back. He took his hands away from Dave's face. He took a step back. He would wait, and let Dave speak first. "We're fucked up," Dave said. We. Not you, but we. "Is that a problem?" Bro asked, trying his best to sound gentle without sounding weak, a task he was never sure he ever accomplished. "Is it a problem for you?" Dave shot back. Bro saw uncertainty written all over Dave's motionless face. "What I think doesn't matter," he said. Sick fuck sick fuck sick fuck. "This playing field is in the Guinness for 'most unlevel of all time'. They built the fucking stadium on the side of a fucking hill and nobody who has ever played your side ever wins." For the first time, Bro discovered that Dave's face was completely unreadable to him. He had zero idea what Dave thought or felt. It was terrifying. The pleasure from the kiss was fading. Bro's desire to vomit in disgust at himself was increasing. "I don't think," Dave began, "That we're playing the same game you think we are." Bro swallowed the awful taste in his mouth. Great. Now Dave was rationalizing it, too. "Doesn't change anything." Bro said. Dave paused. He wrinkled his forehead in thought. He appeared perfectly calm. But so did Bro. "It does," his younger brother said, "if I'm handing out tickets to the fucking game." Every muscle within Bro grew tense and he was sure his heart stopped beating. "Fuck," he said. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." "Bro," Dave said, "Chill." Bro could not chill. He was certain that a universe somewhere had probably just collapsed because of it. But he could pretend to chill. He shrugged. "Well, I have shit to do," he said, picking up his handheld and shoving it into his pocket. "And you have homework." "Fuck, Bro. Seriously?" "Seriously," he said, looking at Dave over the top of his shades, a thing he only did when he was extremely serious. "Not a level playing field, little dude." He waited for that to sink in to Dave's head, even as he loathed himself because he knew now that they were going to play this game. This game was going to happen. He had no fight left in him to stop it. "But I'm giving you a thing I never got," he stated, leaving the implications of that unsaid, not particularly sure if he wanted Dave to really know what that meant. Dave swallowed. He got it. "What?" he asked, and now his voice was weak and soft. Bro stepped up to him again and put his finger under Dave's chin. Sick fuck sick fuck sick fuck wrong wrong wrong no no He kissed him again. Dave moaned. The fire in Bro's blood was back, and he needed to alleviate it. Now. He pulled away and did not hide the lust on his face this time. "I'm putting you in charge of ticket sales, little bro," he said. "The minute you decide the game's over, it's over." Dave's face contorted then, in strange and uncertain emotions, and Bro knew that he was a far cry from perfectly fine with this situation. And that was what finally made him feel better; as long as Dave felt queasy and repulsed by it, too, then he could handle this. Bro didn't wait for an answer this time because he didn't want one. If he couldn't back out himself, he could at least give Dave the power to back out. Which he hoped, desperately, he would do. He also hoped, desperately, that he wouldn't. Bro was already certain that no matter how this went down, no matter what was said now, Dave was going to fucking hate him when he grew up. He shut the door to his room and his pants were down and in less than ten strokes he was gone. He never came so fast before in his life. "Dammit." was all he said. ***** Chapter 4 ***** Chapter Notes Still in the process of gathering everything up, but here is some fanart of the last chapter!   By_Hyuzan   By_Renaris That night, everything would have appeared to have been normal to anyone watching the Strider household. Bro found himself not wanting to think about the situation he had just gotten them into. He didn't want to think anything, and he didn't want to feel anything, so he numbed his mind and distracted himself with his shitty webcomic and a six-pack, and then updated his movie review page with his ironic opinion of the movie he and Dave had watched earlier that week. Dave finished his homework (or rather, finished half-assing it), and shut himself up in his room to play video games. Bro could hear him shouting into his mic, and from the way he spoke he knew he was playing with John, and Bro actually felt a little good to know they were at least still friends. Eventually the noise from Dave's room ceased, and Bro drank enough to feel sleepy, and he went to bed. The morning was fairly normal, too. Dave got up and went to school. Bro slept in because he forgot to set his alarm and woke up with a headache, and wound up at work an hour late. Nobody said anything, because it was usual for him. All his manager said was, "There's three deliveries waiting; do the one with pepperoni first." Bro tossed the pizzas into his back seat and spent his day cursing at traffic and making lefts on red and keeping his eye out for cops, and getting huge tips from ladies and angry glares from husbands. He kept the music as loud as possible and refused to let himself think about it. But when his shift was over, and evening came, the normalness came to a grinding halt. Bro opened the front door and tossed the half-pizza he brought home from work onto the kitchen table. Dave was lazing on the couch, watching some shitty TV show, and Bro walked past like usual. He took a shower, like always. The first unusual thing he did was not have to think about whether he was going out. He already knew he wasn't. He didn't want to go anywhere. He realized he was hot. He was excited to spend the evening with Dave. The moment he noticed that was how he felt, he also felt repulsed. But the feeling didn't go away. No matter how much he hated it, it wouldn't leave. For the first time since it happened, he thought about the kiss. The memory made him hotter. His dick started to become hard and he made one more futile attempt to stop it, but then he remembered the way Dave moaned and Bro was lost. He opened the door to his room. He walked down the hall. He knew Dave was waiting for him. Usually he was up in his room, either playing video games or developing his pictures or talking to his online friends. But now, he was half sitting, half laying on the couch, watching some shitty show about stupid things people did which got caught on camera, or something. Looking at him turned Bro on. He didn't know why. He'd seen Dave lay like that a million times. There wasn't anything erotic or sexy about it; he looked just like any lazy teenager. But Bro stood in the doorway and could not tear his eyes away. The idea of covering Dave with his body, of crushing him into the couch with his weight was relentless. The picture would not leave his mind. "Are you busy." Bro stated, not really phrasing it as a question because it was obvious Dave was doing nothing. It was a pointless, stupid question, because it had an entirely different meaning behind it. And he knew without a doubt that Dave would get it. Dave always got him, he understood him like no one else and maybe that was why... "Nope." Dave said, not moving a single inch. Bro swallowed. He'd asked. Dave had given permission. He knew that meant nothing; he was still completely taking advantage of a clueless, defenseless kid in order to satiate his own selfish wants. But he was doing it anyway. He realized there was no way in hell he wasn't going to. He walked across the room without hesitation. The closer he got, the less he cared about anything besides how he was about to have the thing he'd wanted for years, the relentless, incessant, persistent want that he was now too tired to fight against. He stood directly over Dave, blocking his view of the TV completely, though Dave still stared as if he saw it. Bro leaned down, his face very close, far too close to Dave's and put his finger under Dave's chin, tilting his head to look at him. Dave raised his lips right to his. That simple action tore through Bro like thunder. Dave making that tiniest of moves, that simple hint that he wanted this, too, was too much. All of the delicate balances and walls and constructs he'd built to hold back this thing fell apart in a rush. With a desperate moan, Bro crushed his lips to Dave's as he cupped his cheeks in his leather-covered palms. Dave's soft groan in reply did him in. Dave returned the kiss this time, exactly the way Bro had taught him yesterday. His lips moved in perfect rhythm, opening at the right times to let Bro in and closing at the right times to create the most delicious sliding sensation imaginable. Bro's nostrils flared as wide as they could go as he breathed heavily through them, unable to get enough air and unable to stop. He couldn't stop. The remote clattered to the tile-covered floor as Dave carelessly let go of it. His arms rested at his sides, palms up, in a position of total surrender. Bro shoved his tongue roughly into Dave's mouth and the boy groaned, the sound reverberating through Bro that made his entire being scream at him more more more. Bro pulled his lips away slowly, lingering. His eyes wandered to Dave's neck. He lifted his left hand and tangled it through Dave's hair, holding him tight and tilting his head to the side. When he placed that first kiss on Dave's neck, Dave gasped, and his entire body relaxed while Bro's entire body tensed. Enough sense remained in Bro that he had a powerful fear of leaving any kind of marks. He placed light but very wet, drooly kisses down Dave's perfect, pale neck until he reached the edge of Dave's shirt, and Dave gave a little moan with each one, reminding Bro that he was a complete virgin, to everything, to all that Bro would do. The emotional repercussions of that realization would come later, and he knew it, but right now he was far too hot to care. Bro continued to kiss Dave's neck while he reached down with his right hand and took Dave's left one. He lifted it up to the impossibly hard lump in his crotch and pressed Dave's hand to it. Dave inhaled sharply and a moan choked by a gasp escaped his lips. He groped at Bro awkwardly. Bro kissed up Dave's neck until he reached his ear. He put his lips directly on it as he spoke. "No." he growled. "Like this." He slid his right hand down Dave's body, over his chest, across his stomach, slowly, giving Dave plenty of warning as to what was about to happen, and then he rubbed his hand over the younger boy's hard erection. Dave squeaked. His eyes flew open wide and his back arched; his reactions seemed so extreme to Bro at things that, for Bro, were nothing, were not even on the scale of counting as foreplay, but for Dave were nearly overwhelming. Bro slid the heel of his hand along the ridge of Dave's dick. Dave's hand fell away from Bro as the boy shuddered, completely helpless to the sensations happening to him. At the same time, Bro tightened his grip in Dave's hair and sucked the lobe of his ear into his mouth. Dave's breaths came impossibly fast. He panted heavily; he was starting to sweat. Bro pulled his lips away and pulled back to look at his face. He lifted his hand to give Dave a break... "Go back!" he screamed in desperation. "Fuck, Bro, don't stop now!" "Oh, I'm not stopping. We're just getting started," he growled. "Lay down." Shaking, Dave complied, awkwardly stretching out his body along the couch. Bro eyed him carefully, looking for any indications that Dave was not wanting this. Instead, Dave looked up at him with a desperate expression of impatience. Bro didn't have to say a word; Dave knew him too well; he knew Bro was hesitating. "Okay, okay, I know how fucked up this is Bro but what you're doing to me feels so good I don't fucking care. I know you want me, just do it." Bro lowered himself to the couch and lay down next to his brother. He slid his left arm underneath Dave's back, the heat pouring off of both their bodies making him start to sweat. He slid his right palm over Dave's stomach, on top of his shirt and rubbed it. The sick feeling of nausea returned as memories of doing the exact same thing when Dave was a baby came back to him. He used to get tummy aches after he'd had his bottle, and he'd cry and cry and nothing helped except rubbing his belly. For a moment that was all Bro saw and he pulled his hand away. "Bro..." Dave's voice whispered in his ear, shaking, desperate. "Please don't stop." The rush of desire Bro felt was more than enough to erase everything else. He slid his fingers underneath the bottom of Dave's shirt, brushing his skin. The younger boy inhaled sharply at the contact, causing his stomach to shrink away. Bro smirked and chased after it, tickling and teasing Dave, the blue glow of the television in the darkness causing his skin to look perfectly white. Bro slid his hand further up underneath Dave's shirt, over his chest. "Bro, you're going the wrong way!" Dave said, through gritted teeth. "Which one of us knows what he's doing?" he said. He reached Dave's nipple and stroked his thumb over it. Dave inhaled sharply. Bro gently pinched it between his finger and thumb, and Dave mewled helplessly, panting. "Just who do you think is being schooled, here?" he said, stroking Dave's nipple again. He worked relentlessly, teasing it until it was hard and then pinching it until Dave squirmed. When he felt he'd done it enough he moved to the other one, making Dave shake with desperation and pant with heat. Bro's own erection was painfully needy but he didn't even care; all of his focus was on making Dave feel things and he couldn't stop. He slid his fingers back down Dave's chest, over his stomach, and to the top of Dave's pants. Dave became perfectly still as Bro expertly undid the button with one hand and pulled down the zipper. He traced his fingers along the top of Dave's boxers, to see if he would want to stop. He didn't. Bro lifted the elastic and slid his hand inside. His fingers brushed Dave's tip, and he threw back his head and gasped. When Bro had slid in far enough to wrap his fingers around his brother's shaft, the whimper that escaped Dave's lips erased all thoughts from Bro's mind. When Bro pulled, one, firm stroke, a choked, silent noise got caught in Dave's throat. As Bro moved his hand up and down, Dave's eyes rolled back in his head until they were white. Shaking, Dave turned, and with the arm he wasn't laying on, he clasped at Bro's shirt until his knuckles were white. Bro had never seen anything so hot in his life. Bro sat up, Dave's head falling to the couch, and used both hands to pull Dave's pants and boxers down to his knees. Seeing Dave's cock, so desperate and hard and purple, should not have had the effect it did. With eyes half-closed, Bro lay back down and slid his arm back under Dave's shoulders. He reached back down and wrapped his fingers around him, stroking his thumb across the slit at the top, spreading the pre-cum over it. "Ohh...uhhh...." was all Dave said. When Bro started to pump him, Dave inhaled sharply and his entire body tensed. The heat built up between them, and Dave turned and clutched Bro's shirt, and Bro held him close with his arm around his back. He felt impossibly hot. Dave's scent wafted to him and he should have been repulsed, but it only turned him on. He also, all of a sudden, felt how much he loved him. He realized he had to do something. He pulled his hand away and Dave's eyes flew wide open. "Don't stop don't stop don't stop!" he cried. "Shhh, I'm not stopping, relax," Bro said softly. He brought his hands together, and he pulled off his glove. Bro then went back, his bare hand on Dave's flesh, and he himself shuddered. He had never before touched any dick besides his own with his bare palm. It was somehow the most intimate act he'd ever done; it left him vulnerable and open and naked in a way he could not explain. Yet he didn't feel a drop of fear. He was with the one person in this world that he actually trusted. Dave whimpered when he felt Bro's bare hand. He started to thrust his hips and hump it. Bro was lost in the moment, lost in the motion, in the heat, in Dave's pulse, in their rhythm. They worked together perfectly; everything was smooth with no awkwardness, the result of two people who marched to the beat of the same drummer; Dave was everything Bro had taught him to be, and now, he was his apprentice even in sex. Dave's thrusts became faster and more desperate and Bro knew he was close. He cried out and his eyes flew open, which Bro could see from his view above Dave's shades. His hot cum squirted all over Bro's arm, and got on his shirt, and got on the couch, and Bro didn't care. He pulled Dave close to him and lovingly kissed his forehead. Dave let go of Bro's shirt and collapsed onto his back, panting. Bro let go of Dave, and let his cum-covered arm hang over the side of the couch. He was still desperately horny. His own dick throbbed with want. "Okay. Um, okay," Dave said, breathlessly. "Fuck, wow." Bro breathed heavily in his ear. "It's good, isn't it?" he whispered, the heat not dissipating, the want only having grown since he started. His voice was very husky. He knew Dave heard it. "Um, yeah," Dave said. "You're gonna return the favor now," Bro said, his veins pulsing with fire just at imagining Dave's awkward, inexperienced touch. He saw Dave's eyes grow wide and thought about all the things he wanted to do to him- and shoved those thoughts away. He was not going to do all of that, not now, not this time, maybe not ever. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe later. But not right now. ***** Chapter 5 ***** Chapter Notes Again, still gathering everything up, but here's art based on the last chapter :) By_Renaris The fuzzy daze Dave had been in dissipated, and Bro would have felt regret had he not been so fucking hot. But he was fucking hot, and even though he knew it clouded his thoughts and other feelings, he let it. He kept his left arm around Dave's shoulders, and had no desire to move it, not yet. But with his right hand- which was still bare- he reached over and took Dave's right hand. He pulled it towards the aching lump in his jeans, and Dave took his own initiative as he attentively slid his palm over it. "Mmph," Bro said, very softly, too short of a grunt to be called a moan. But the sound encouraged Dave, and he started to rub Bro on his own. In less than a minute the teasing became torturous and Bro's hand was eagerly undoing the button on his jeans and sliding the zipper down. He grabbed Dave's hand roughly and shoved it into his pants on the outside of his boxers, shaking, desperate, it had been too long and now it was too much and... "Uhh..." he said as Dave squeezed him. He inhaled sharply through his teeth, and Dave stared at him with surprise and uncertainty. "Fuck, Bro," he said, his voice quivering as he felt how hard Bro was through his boxers. "You're really fucking into this..." Bro was beyond words. Instead he took his hand and pressed it down over the back of Dave's, creating heavy pressure, heavy friction, and he found himself wanting to rock his hips. He resisted that, of course; Bro did not hump things, he fucked things, and when he couldn't he'd be content with a good hand job. He wanted to see what Dave would do on his own, but there was something incredibly hot about holding his hand there, keeping him, not letting him leave. Guilt, fear, wrongness, all of these things were drowned out; there was only hotness, and not enough of it. Bro moved. He slid his arm out from behind Dave, who fell back to the couch. Bro then turned and hovered over Dave on all fours, a position he was completely used to. Dave was still exposed, his pants down by his knees and Bro shook as he thought of the sex he really wanted, and managed to force himself to remember he was going to have restraint. Dave reached both of his hands up to the waist of Bro's jeans all on his own. His fingers shook as he slid them in between Bro's jeans and his flesh, and the touch of Dave's fingers sent fire through him that should not have been. Why am I fucking like this? The thought was overtaken immediately as he felt the cool air around his hips, around his ass, around his cock. And Dave's hands, pale and shaking, retreating from his pants and rising to nervously brush against his swollen shaft. Bro hissed. Dave wrapped his slender, uncertain fingers around Bro and pulled. "Fuck." Bro's voice was barely a whisper as sensation overloaded him. He'd never felt like this. He'd never been made so helpless to do anything about the situation he was in before. Dave's hand remained where it was, unmoving, and the pulse of pleasure in Bro faded. "Come on, just like I showed you," he said, his voice too impatient to be cool, and then Dave started to stroke him, and Bro's head swam. His heart mocked him as he spoke the line he'd said to his little bro a million times, teaching him how to make his own chocolate milk, teaching him how to ride a skateboard, teaching him how to mix beats. It was the same line and here Dave was, repeating what Bro had shown him. Sick fuck Bro let himself get lost in the sensation, which was easy to do. Dave had always been good at learning shit, and Bro was the best teacher. Bro kept his head lowered, to look at Dave's stomach, or other, lower parts of him because it was so damn sexy he couldn't tear is gaze away. That, and there was no way in hell he could look his little brother in the eyes while he jerked him off. Once Dave got started he gained more confidence and his motions became steadier. More rhythmic. Perfect, even. Bro's breath came too quickly from between his lips and his heart raced too fast. Pleasure enveloped him in a deep, hot haze. He lost all sense of right and wrong, those weren't things to him at all anymore. He lost all sense of language, he lost all sense of words, he shut his eyes but still that couldn't erase the fact that the hand which gripped him was so small. Bro gave up fighting it. He opened his eyes and looked directly at Dave's face, which was as impassive as he'd taught it to be. The moment he savored the fact that it wasn't just anyone beneath him, it was Dave, he came. Completely overwhelmed by it he leaned down and crushed his lips over Dave's as he squirted his cum all over Dave's shirt, and Dave groaned with surprise. Bro pulled his lips away. He was fucking shaking. It had felt so good. Far too good. Then he was done. He grabbed Dave's hand and yanked it away from himself. He let go and Dave let his arm sink back to the couch. He was staring up at Bro, one eyebrow cocked above his shades, his head tilted a little to the side. His blond hair was splayed about his head in a mess, and Bro felt the nauseous urge to fix it, like Dave was five years old. "Shit," he said, getting up. He shoved himself back into his pants and zipped them, not giving a shit about the mess. Dave copied him. Of course Dave copied him; Dave always copied him because Bro was the example. Dave sat up and made a face of grossness at his shirt. "Fuck, Bro." Bro suddenly felt like vomiting. Instead, he sat on the coffee table with his knees spread wide. He rested his elbows on them and folded his hands into a fist, which he rested his chin on. He would let Dave speak first. Dave sat up and raised his head as he sat exactly across from him. They looked each other in the eyes, through two pairs of shades and silence. Neither Strider's face made any attempt to show any emotion at all. They both already knew what the other was thinking. "What the fuck is wrong with us?" Dave said. The question hung in the air with the heaviness of a hospital room full of loved ones of the recently deceased. Yet even with that emotion Bro's twisted heart still found delight in Dave's use of the word "us", making his participation equally as willing, giving himself half the responsibility of what had happened. But Bro knew better. "Me," he replied, standing up. "What's wrong with us is me." He turned and left him, because there was nothing more to be said. It wasn't like he was going far, just to his room, where he forced himself to quietly shut the door. He then sank into his desk chair and stared at the wall as a torrent of emotions threatened to drown him and he had no way of getting rid of them. He became lost in the repetition of the same three cold, black, unbearable thoughts, over and over. He had just done the one thing he swore he'd never do. He had fucking liked it. He knew he was going to do it again. ***** Chapter 6 ***** Chapter Notes Corresponds to this_section in Dave's point of view. Fanart from the last chapter by_Renaris. Bro was on his way back to the store from a delivery when his phone rang. He was driving so he didn't bother to check who it was before he picked up. "Yo." "Mr. Strider?" a very bored, tired-sounding voice said. Oh crap, had he forgotten to pay a parking ticket or the electric bill or something? "Yeah," he said. "Are you the father of David Strider?" Heavy sigh. "No, but I'm his guardian. What did he do." It was a resigned kind of statement, calculated to make the teacher believe Bro was upset with Dave- but probably, whatever he did, Bro approved of and would high-five him for it later. "Hi, I'm Mr. Strimwell, David's math teacher. I just felt it necessary to talk to you in person. Are you aware that David is failing this class?" Heavy sigh. "Now I am," he said, keeping his voice as deadpan as possible. He hated teachers. Being an adult now did not make him hate teachers any less. They were still just as condescending, full-of-themsleves, conceited bullshit know-it- alls who honestly believed that filling out xerox copies of workbook pages every night would get you somewhere in life. "I had a feeling he wasn't being honest with you about his grades." Bro wanted to not give a fuck. But dammit, the kid had to graduate high school some day. Bro wasn't raising some high-school dropout failure-at-life kid. Which meant he had to pass seventh-grade math. Fuck. "Lay it on me," he said. "Excuse me?" Heavy sigh. "Just tell me what I gotta do to fix it." There was a pause that was longer than necessary and was extremely annoying, with the sound of ruffling papers in the background. Some asshole in a pickup truck cut Bro off, running a red light as he turned in front of him and he had to slam on his brakes. "Fuck, dammit," he said. "Well, I can see where David gets his filthy language from," Mr. Condescending said. "Just tell me how to get the kid to pass math." "Well alright, then." The teacher cleared his throat with arrogance. Bro forced himself not to hang up. "At least you seem to care a little. Some parents, when you call them..." "I'm not his parent." "...okay, then. Moving on. David has to maintain at least a B average for the rest of the year, to make up for all of his F's, if he is going to avoid summer school. My suggestion, since he is so very far behind the rest of the class, is to either put him in remedial math..." Fuck, no, Dave was not going into special ed. "Or?" "Or, you can hire a private tutor to help him earn the B's he needs to pass." Fuck. Like he could afford a fucking tutor. "Yeah, we'll do that," he said. "...oh, alright, then. Would you like me to recommend a few tutors that I know are qualified?" "Yeah, sure." The fact that Bro had to actually pull over to write shit down annoyed the fuck out of him. Dave was so paying for this. "Thanks, Mr. Strumbell," he finally said. "Strimwell." "Whatever. Peace." Of course, he wished the man would have the most annoying, difficult, unpeaceful day possible. Irony. He flipped the phone closed. When Bro came home, Dave was waiting for him on the couch. His heart did some mad flips as he remembered how things had changed in the last two days. For the rest of his shift, his mind had been on Dave's math and he had completely forgotten about the other thing, somehow. It was just his kid, he was just his bro, and he had to fix shit so Dave wasn't a failure. But the minute he walked in the door, the normalness was gone. Bro didn't acknowledge that in his actions. He was a pro at appearing to be whatever he wanted to look like, and if he wanted to act normal, fuck, he was going to act it. He walked past the back of the couch and flicked Dave in the back of the head with a finger. "Ow, fuck," Dave said. "Kitchen, now," Bro said, with the best you're in trouble, dude tone he could muster. He watched Dave out of the corner of his eye and saw the nervousness there. He knew Dave didn't give a shit about school. That wasn't what he was nervous about. He was dreading a different kind of conversation. Bro's skin tingled as his stomach churned with guilt. The overtones of this shit were going to color everything else they did, and he knew it. Dave knew it. But dammit, they were going to pretend their hardest that it wasn't going to affect anything. "What?" Dave asked, not enough annoyance in his voice. He was genuinely freaking out. He was hiding it well, and Bro was proud. But he could still see it. "You failing math?" Bro said. He saw Dave relax with a huge sigh. "Yeah. So?" Bro leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. "So, that ain't happening. You're getting a math tutor." "What?" He could see the annoyance. He decided to point that out. "You gonna whine about it?" The deadpan face was back, where it belonged behind those round shades John had given him. "No." "Didn't think so. Besides, you'll love who I hired." Dave only raised an eyebrow. "Mrs. Johansen, your old third grade teacher." Dave made a pained face. "Can't you hire someone else?" "You gonna bitch about everything tonight?" Dave shut his mouth. Bro knew he was glaring at him from behind his shades. Then the glare cracked. It faltered. Guilt crept into Bro even as he watched it, because he knew why. "Did I fuck up last night?" Dave's voice was small, quiet. It made Bro's skin crawl. Fuck. Yes, that fucktastically big elephant in the room was now making noise. "No." Bro's blood turned to ice as he said it. He should have said 'yes' and ended the whole thing right there. Dave you suck in bed so I'm gonna go back to fucking people my own age see ya later. Instead, he just told Dave he was good at jerking him off. Fuck. He saw the relief on Dave's face, he heard it in his sigh. "This," Bro said, feeling like he was walking across fucking broken glass with bare feet, "has nothing to do with that." He could see Dave thinking. Bro remained perfectly relaxed and calm, arms crossed as he leaned against the counter. But whatever Dave's thoughts were on that, he didn't say anything about it. Instead he asked a different question. "Are you going out tonight?" Are we gonna fuck around again? "Do you want me to?" If I have your permission we will. He saw Dave's cheeks flush. He tried to cover it up with a shrug. "Whatever. I'm not doing anything." The light is fucking green, Bro. It took great effort for Bro to keep that same flush from rising to his cheeks. He couldn't do much about the rush of blood to lower places, though. When it came to Dave, he had no fucking control over that, and it still disgusted him. "Cool. Then I'll probably stick around," he said, standing up fully and walking towards the hall. "Just get your math homework done, dude." Dave snorted. "And what happens if I don't?" It was a test. A test to see if truly, Bro's parenting of him, and whatever sexual thing was going on between them, really were separate. If Bro would use sex, or lack of it, as a punishment and reward kind of thing. Well he wasn't playing that game. Fuck if Dave wanted to play it that way. He wasn't. This was already fucked up enough. "Then I guess your Xbox live account will get canceled." he said, and then he turned into the hall without looking at Dave and headed for the shower. He might have had no power to stop this thing from happening, but he was going to keep it as contained as possible, dammit. Fuck, he would find a way to have some kind of self-control. ***** Chapter 7 ***** Bro came out of the shower, grabbed a slice of pizza and a beer, and plopped his ass into his spot on the couch. He put his feet up on the coffee table like usual. He scoffed at whatever Dave was watching, like always. "How do they think of this shit?" he said, commenting on a particularly transparent plot twist. "What? I totally never saw that coming," Dave replied, with as much sarcasm in his voice as was possible. He looked completely relaxed into the couch. Bro looked the same as he took his last bite of pizza and tossed the paper plate onto the coffee table. Nothing on the outside appeared abnormal at all. But Bro could feel the fucking tension; he could feel Dave waiting for him to make a move. And he fucking wanted to make a move. He was just savoring the fact that he could, sick fuck that he was. There wasn't the "what's gonna happen?" question that had hung in the air yesterday; today wasn't the first time. It was established now that something was going to happen. It was expected. And Bro didn't know if it would happen again; for all he knew, tomorrow they'd both be squicked out completely and he'd never get another chance. So he savored it. "So come here," he said eventually, jerking his head to the side in gesture. He saw Dave's cheeks grow pink, he saw his ears flush red. Dave looked over at him and Bro stretched one leg out on the couch, leaving the other on the floor, and again pointed with his head to between his legs. "Have a seat." Dave shook as he crawled across the couch, and nestled himself awkwardly, nervously, into the space between Bro's legs. Bro wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, resting Dave's back on his chest, as Dave stretched his legs out on the couch. That already was enough to make Bro's dick get hard. It pressed against Dave's ass when it did. He heard Dave's breath stop when he felt it. A rush of lust surged through Bro, making him lose any kind of sense he might have had. Bro's heart rivaled the speed of Dave's as he spread his palms across Dave's stomach on the outside of his shirt. He ran his palms up his chest and teased his nipples through the cloth, and Dave whimpered. Bro then slid his palms down, over Dave's hips, over his thighs, then back up the inside of his legs. When he palmed Dave's erection through his jeans he whimpered, and his head fell back onto Bro's shoulder. He was shaking. "Fff..uck, Bro.." he said, but Bro's only answer was to bend his head to plant his lips on Dave's now exposed throat. Dave gasped as Bro kissed his neck, his skinny fingers grasping the cloth of Bro's jeans in his hands as Bro increased the pressure of his palm rubbing on Dave's dick. Bro had never felt so hot in his life. It didn't matter how fucked up this was. He didn't fucking care. Bro brought out his tongue and let it glide over Dave's neck, then up to his ear. He sucked Dave's lobe into his mouth and bit it, and Dave mewled. Bro smirked and brought his hands up to Dave's stomach, sliding underneath his shirt to caress his bare flesh. He pushed the shirt up to Dave's armpits, and to his sick delight Dave raised his arms so Bro could get the shirt off. It fell, tossed unwanted into a heap on the floor. Bro took the opportunity to remove both of his gloves, this time. He ran his uncalloused palms over Dave's bare chest, teasing and pinching his nipples as Dave squirmed and bit his own lip with his teeth. Bro curved himself around and leaned down to crush his lips over Dave's, shoving his tongue deep into his mouth. Dave moaned helplessly. The sound reverberated through Bro's blood and erased every reservation he had. Bro's hands wandered back down to the top of Dave's jeans, where his fingers undid the button and zipper in seconds. His hand was in Dave's pants immediately, rubbing him through his boxers. Bro raised his hips to press his own erection against Dave's ass. A choked, gaspy moan escaped from Dave's throat. The sound made Bro impossibly hot. He was beyond caring why. He slid his fingers into the waistband of Dave's boxers and pulled them and his jeans down at the same time. With one hand he cupped Dave's balls and with the other he stroked his dick, teasing it, playing with it, caressing its head. Dave squirmed and whimpered and keened, his breaths coming ragged and heavy, his fingers clutching the cloth of Bro's jeans with white knuckles. "Fuck, Bro, you're moving so fast." There was no room inside Bro for the guilt that should have been there. "Is that a problem?" he said, his lips brushing against Dave's ear as he spoke in a low, lustful voice. "Nnnno!" Dave shouted, as Bro ran his thumb over the opening in Dave's cock. "No, dammit, don't fucking stop!" Seriously, the universe hated him. It knew he didn't have the power to resist that. Bro grabbed Dave's shaft with his right hand and started to pump him. He paid very careful attention to Dave's breaths, his moans, his thrusts into Bro's hand. He waited until the kid was extremely close, and then pulled his hand away. "Go back go back go back!" Dave cried, his voice loud and pleading. Bro moved his hands up to Dave's stomach and he tickled it with his fingers. "In a minute," Bro said, and Dave screamed in frustration. "What the fuck?" "I know what I'm fucking doing. Just trust me." Just fucking trust me to molest you properly, his conscience mocked him. He ignored it. Once Dave was calmed down enough, he went back. He worked him up again, with long, firm strokes, even and calculated until Dave was hard and purple. He pulled his hands away just a bit too early, once again. Dave bucked the air and whined. "BRO WHAT THE HELL." Bro smirked. "Totally impatient, inexperienced virgin. You're lucky I'm here to teach you this shit, or you'd totally embarrass yourself. You're so uncool right now no level of irony can even save you." "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK." Bro only smirked. He took this opportunity of letting Dave calm down to lean forward and pull his own shirt over his head, without disturbing his hat or his shades. He felt the warmth of Dave's back press against his bare chest, and it felt fucking good. He ran his hands over his little brother's chest, pressing their bodies together, feeling both of their hearts racing. He slid his hands back to Dave's dick and worked him up again. It only took seconds this time and Dave humped his hand, hard, trying to go off before Bro pulled away again. But it was to no avail; Bro knew all the signs to look for and nobody was going to go off when he didn't want them to. Dave screamed in frustrated agony as Bro pulled away for the third time. "Fucking dammit!" he squeaked, panting. Damn, if Dave wasn't the hottest thing he'd ever played with. He slid himself out from under him and let Dave fall onto the couch, the kid covered in sweat, panting wildly. Bro turned so he was over Dave. "That," Bro said in a low voice, "is called edging. You use it to make your partner desperate. Do it right, and they'll do whatever the fuck you want," he said. Dave glared at him even through his panting, and Bro smirked. He wrapped his fingers into Dave's hair and pulled his head up, exposing his throat again. Dave wriggled and whimpered and squirmed as Bro ran his tongue over his throat, down his neck, down his shoulder. The sounds he made caused Bro's knees to grow weak. He'd never felt like this. He was helpless to fight it. He slid his tongue down Dave's chest, holding him in place with his hands on his sides. When he reached Dave's belly button and then licked lower, the kid finally caught on and he froze, completely tense. "Lesson number two," Bro said. "Pay attention." Bro hadn't had his lips around a cock in more than a decade. It was just a thing he didn't do. But he wanted Dave in ways he never wanted anyone; Dave caused him to feel things, and his pulse hammered in his ears as he opened his mouth and took the tip into his mouth. Dave made a squeaking, keening noise and Bro loved it. He ran his tongue over the head, licking up the precum, smirking as he drove Dave crazy. The kid was as swollen and purple as he could possibly get already. He wasn't going to last long. Bro didn't waste time; he opened his mouth and took him in fully. It was easy; Dave was small, and it all came back to Bro as if he'd done it yesterday. Dave bucked up into the air and Bro barely had to open his throat to take it. He closed his eyes and clasped his fingers into the flesh at Dave's hips. He shouldn't have liked it, this shouldn't have felt this good, fuck, fuck. Dave started to thrust and Bro let him, keeping his mouth steady so Dave could have control. His smaller fingers dug into the cloth of the couch, knuckles white. Then Bro sealed his lips around Dave and sucked, hard. Dave screamed as he came. The flavor was the same, and Bro sucked in every bit of it. He enjoyed swallowing it with sick, twisted satisfaction that he could drive Dave this crazy. He ran his tongue along Dave's cock as he pulled his mouth away, and sat up, his face radiating lust. "Holy shit." Dave said, his breathing starting to calm. "I'm the best there is, it couldn't be helped." Dave didn't reply. Bro was still impossibly hot. He rose to his feet and undid his belt. He let his jeans fall to the floor with a thud, and he smirked as Dave's eyes wandered to the nearly fully hard penis that was much, much bigger than his. "I hope you were paying attention," he said. He saw Dave swallow with nervousness. "Sit up." Dave rose to his knees, shaking, nervous. He eyed Bro's dick warily and Bro took his face in his hands. Looking at his uncertain face, his blond hair ruffled and messy, his red eyes under his shades, caused Bro to feel really weird, strange things. He was impossibly hot. His conscience could not get a word in. "You gonna return the favor, now?" It came out as a question, even as he ran his thumb across Dave's cheek, as if they were lovers. His stomach churned. He didn't care. "I'm gonna suck at it," Dave said. "Damn right you are," Bro replied, ignoring the real meaning of Dave's words. Dave stared at his dick with uncertainty, still. Bro should have stopped, he should have... Dave reached up and took hold of Bro in his hand, sucking Bro's tip into his little mouth. "Uhn," Bro said, surprised by it. "Uh, dude, watch the teeth." Dave tried to shift, but teeth still scraped Bro on every side. "Cover them with your lips," he advised. Lessons on how to give a good blow job. What the hell, Bro. Dave did as he was told and then slid down further. Bro moaned as he slid his hands to the back of Dave's head. The kid could barely take any of him in and it was an unbearable tease. Dave had no rhythm, no pattern. "Come on, just like I showed you," Bro whispered as he glanced down at the top of Dave's head, and sick pleasure raced through his veins. There was definitely something wrong with him. He didn't just want Dave because he was hot, he didn't just want him because he was there. He wanted him because he was Dave. Dave wrapped his lips around Bro and sucked. The timing hit him exactly when he realized he was fucking hot for his little bro. It should have felt like nothing. Instead, he was overwhelmed. He came, hard, and as a reflex he shoved himself into Dave's mouth, far, causing him to gag and choke. Seconds later Bro pulled out, before he was even finished, horrified at himself. Mess was everywhere. Dave was coughing. He collapsed back onto the couch. Bro sat down heavily on the coffee table. He couldn't bring himself to look at Dave's face... "Fuck," Dave said. He was still coughing a bit as he wiped the cum off of his mouth with the back of his arm. Wrong, wrong, holy shit this was so damn wrong... "Not too bad," Bro said. "Except for that major fail at the end." What the fuck, Bro? Why was he continuing to play this game? What the hell? "Yeah, well. I mean, it tastes really salty." "You get used to it." He couldn't believe he was having this conversation. "Have you...uh...um..." Dave stuttered. Dave fucking stuttered. Bro managed to look up at Dave's face. At least he'd wiped the cum off of his chin. "Just spit it out, kid." "You've sucked off a lot of guys?" No, he was not having this conversation. He shrugged. "A few." "You're damn good at it." "I'm good at everything." Silence. "You're gonna teach me to be as good as you, right?" Holy fuck. "Shit, Dave," he said. "What?" "Do you know how fucked up this is?" "So?" Bro swallowed. He couldn't believe this was happening. Why was this happening? Was this his fault? Did he fuck up raising Dave this badly? "Shit," was what he said. "Shit." Neither of them said a word for a long time. Bro stood and pulled his pants back on. Dave was lazier and just pulled a blanket from the easy chair to cover himself. "It was still hot," Dave said. "Fuck, Dave." Bro looked him in the eyes then, or rather, where he knew his eyes were through his shades. He searched Dave's face, trying to read it, trying to see what he felt. But he hid it too well. Bro rose, not bothering to put on a shirt. He went into the kitchen. "You want a soda?" "Can I have a beer?" "Fuck no." "But I just fucking sucked you off." "Right back at you. We're even, little bro." He heard an annoyed sigh of defeat. "Yeah, get me a soda." Bro grabbed a can for the kid and a beer for himself. He plopped his ass back down on the couch, just as Dave was zipping his pants back up. He tossed him the can, and they went back to watching Dave's shitty TV show, just like everything was normal. Bro decided he didn't really need a conscience, anyway. Some part of him still screamed guilt at him. He ignored it. ***** Chapter 8 ***** Chapter Notes Fanart from the last chapter: By_Ramika By_Kilehye Mrs. Johansen arrived at exactly three-thirty on Friday. Dave grumbled as Bro forced him to sit at the kitchen table with his math notebook, which was full of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff sketches, doodles, half-written raps, and possibly two or three math problems. "Davey! How good to see you again!" the plump, aging woman said, and Dave glared at Bro over her shoulder as she squeezed him against his will. Bro smirked, gave him a thumbs up, and went up to his room to work on some mixes before his gig later that night. He'd been working for about a half-hour when he got a particularly sick rhythm going and his mind started to wander into that trance-like zone he got when he was really feeling it. Everything was flowing with perfect synchrony and awesome beats, when he reached for a record and pulled out an empty sleeve. Grumbling, everything came to a fucking halt, and Bro stormed out of his room to go pester Dave about what he'd done with his record. But then he overheard their voices floating down the hall from the kitchen. "And so then what do you do next, in this case?" Mrs. Johansen asked. "Divide both sides by four?" "Exactly, Davey! Now you're getting it!" Bro decided against disturbing them then. He went into Dave's room to try to find the record himself. He didn't have to look hard; there it was, sitting on top of the kid's turntables. He coolly lifted it up and was about to walk out when an open notebook caught his eye. It was an unfinished rap, still layed out on his desk, written in Dave's chicken-scratch handwriting: "Everyone's told when you're young till your're old The way the old story of love's 'sposed to go They give you the rules they give you the speech, uh, And don't fuck it up or they're gonna teach ya The boy wants the girl and he brings her some flowers You'd better make sure that she ain't out late hours Don't hit her don't kiss her and don't knock her up And if that ain't you, you're just shit out of luck Cause what if the boy likes dudes instead, Your problem, you sicko, fucked up in the head, And what if that step's just the first out of two Shut your mouth boy, or they're coming for you There are just certain rules that you can't fucking break, Don't matter your heart thinks, you still can't partake And you'd better not say anything 'bout it out loud, Cause this kinda love is just not allowed." Bro stared at the words for a long fucking time. At first, all he could allow himself to think were that Dave's rhymes weren't half bad, though some of it was a little cliché. And then he allowed himself to see Dave's frustration at John, and at being gay in general, and he started to feel unpleasant things. When the idea that the rap might be about him tried to cross his mind he slammed the door shut on it and walked out of the room, his blood as cold as ice. ***** Chapter 9 ***** Chapter Summary Corresponds to this_section in Dave's point of view. After that, the rhythms wouldn't come. Nothing synced up. Nothing worked, no harmonies, no beats. He tossed his headphones across the room in frustration and sat heavily on his bed, holding his head in his hands. What the fuck was he doing? He was fucking Dave up. Dave wasn't like him. He wasn't stone cold and twenty layers of tough irony; he was a soft, pliable kid with a heart that was still alive and hurting because the kid he was fucking in love with would never love him back. Bro was just using him to feel good. Dave was going to get attached. Fuck. Fuck, he should get attached to someone, but not to him. Not to Bro, hardass of all hardasses. Dave was still capable of loving somebody. And he shouldn't fucking waste it on Bro. Bro heard the front door shut. He heard the TV in the living room turn on. Math lessons were over. Face as stoic as ever, he went out into the living room and stood in the doorway, leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed. "So how'd it go?" he said, his voice as steady and even as it always was. Dave shrugged. "Fine." "I heard you saying some pretty mathematical shit, back there." Dave snorted. "Two plus two is four, dude." Bro snickered. Then silence. "Well I gotta get ready to go out." "Yeah." Silence again. Bro nodded approval and turned his back to walk down the hall. "How late you staying out?" You gonna fuck somebody after the show? Bro stopped walking. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. "Dunno. I'll see what I feel like." Silence. And then a very quiet, "Whatever." If Bro had any sliver of humanity in him at all, he would have turned around and talked to the kid. Instead, he walked back down the hall, because for all his bravado he was a fucking coward. Guilt weighed on him heavily as he took a shower, got dressed, packed up his gear. By the time he got back out to the living room, Dave was gone, shut up in his room, Xbox turned up to full volume. Bro left out the front door without saying anything. He was, without a question, the king of assholes. ***** Chapter 10 ***** Chapter Summary Corresponds to this_section in Dave's point of view. Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes The club was the same as usual. The moment he stepped in the place he felt rejuvenated and alive. The excitement always got to him, no matter how many times he played. Even before he started to play he could feel it in the air, the young night, ready for action, ready to party. He always got people to dance. Nobody sat around at the tables when Bro was on the stage and the club owners knew it. He charged pretty decent rates and he often got double-booked anyway. The money he made at pizza delivery was a pittance to what he made on weekends at the clubs,but he still needed both jobs to make ends meet. He and Dave still lived pretty good, for a guy who never got a high school diploma. But Bro was off his game this night. Nobody else seemed to really notice, but he noticed. His mind kept wandering, to places he didn't want it to go, but the music kept driving him there. Back to his first gig, back to his first club, back to his first night out at a party ever; his first time getting drunk, his first beer; back to high school. Back to the first time he ever kissed a girl. To the first time he ever kissed a boy. To the first time anybody ever touched him, to the first time, don't worry kid it'll feel good if you don't wriggle too much, fuck, it hurt like hell. Bro stopped in the middle of a fucking song, put on a pre-recorded track and stepped off for a beer. Then two beers, then four. Then a shot. Then two shots. But he still couldn't stop thinking. Fuck, he couldn't stop remembering shit, all of a sudden. Back to his first foster home, or the first one he could remember. He'd thought those people were his real parents for awhile. When he found out they weren't and he was leaving, he cried like the fucking six year old he was. Then the new foster home. The new foster dad. Begging him to stop never got Bro anywhere. Crying didn't matter. He learned that nobody gave a shit. By the time he got to his next foster home, he knew all kinds of things middle- school boys shouldn't know. And it made him cool. The other kids admired him. He learned to exploit his knowledge. He learned to put it to good use. He learned that feelings got you nowhere and coolness got you everything. Then he finds a fucking baby in a fucking crater. Even before he sees his eyes, he knows, somehow, it's his. But the eyes confirm it, and here he is, fucking seventeen without a damn penny to his name or a bed of his own. But he promises the kid he'll take care of him. He promises the kid he won't be an orphan. He'll have a damn family. He'll have a brother. And he'll figure it out. I'll figure it out. Fuck. Bro's pretty drunk when he gets back up on stage, but finally he's able to get lost in the beats. The memories finally stop coming, and he can play, and his mind goes blank and he lets the music take him. Lots of prospective lovers proposition him, but he's not fucking interested tonight. By the time the night is over he's starting to sober up a little, though he's still pretty buzzed when he gets home around three-thirty. He hears banging and thudding when he walks in. He puts his gear down in the living room and walks to Dave's door, worried. He hears frustrated, angry grunts and then a slam. He opens the door to see Dave throwing books at the fucking wall. "What the hell?" he says. "Damn, stupid, idiot boy!" he screams. "She treats him like fucking shit, she plays with his heart like a fucking toy and then I have to sit here all night and listen to him fucking cry! If I have to hear about Vriska Serket one more fucking time, I'll go over there and kill her my fucking self, goddamn stupid Egbert, he should be with fucking me!" With an exhausted toss, Dave throws the last book at the wall and then sinks into his desk chair, red eyes full of tears, shades tossed God knows where. There is nothing Bro can say, though had he been more sober he might have thought of something. Instead, he walks over to his little bro and puts his hands on his shoulders. Dave jumps up and hugs him, tightly, sobbing into his shoulder and Bro holds him back, just as tightly. He lifts a hand and puts a palm on the back of Dave's head, stroking his hair, and there's nothing platonic about it. He hasn't held Dave like this in years; not since he was six inches shorter, at least, and this is not innocent, and they both know it. Dave tilts his head up to him and Bro leans down with a heavy kiss. Dave sobs into his mouth and Bro runs his fingers through his hair. He's too tipsy to think hard about anything and he runs his fingers down Dave's back to rub his ass. He pushes Dave close to him, and they both feel each other's erections, and they both become desperate to be together. Bro breaks the kiss and wipes the tears off Dave's face with his thumb. His red, exposed eyes look up at him with pain and sorrow. "You didn't fucking stay out," Dave says, shaking. Bro hears the unspoken question behind the statement. He knows what Dave is asking. Are we a thing? Instead of answering, Bro kisses Dave again, tongue deep in his mouth as he wraps his fingers tightly in his hair. Dave moans and Bro is overwhelmed with want. He pushes Dave back towards his bed. Dave doesn't fight him. He falls onto his back and Bro crushes him, and moves his lips down to kiss his throat. Dave does not just lie there, this time. His arms are wrapped tightly around Bro's back, his smaller hands pushing hard against him, desperate to keep him from leaving. Bro slides his hands down Dave's sides and then up underneath his shirt. Dave raises his arms to help him get it off. And then he does a new thing. Dave reaches down to the bottom of Bro's shirt, and starts to push it up. Shaking with anticipation, Bro lets him, and he rises up so Dave can get it off. Now with Dave's shades off, Bro can see his younger brother's eyes search up and down his chest, checking him out, and Bro's ears flush with heat. Bro crushes Dave to the mattress with another deep, long, kiss, as his fingers wander down to the top of Dave's jeans and start to undo his belt. Bro stands up to pull Dave's pants completely off of him, this time; not just push them to his knees. While he's standing Bro drops his own pants as well, and then both brothers are staring at each other, nearly completely naked. With Dave watching his every move, Bro unsnaps his gloves and peels them off, letting them fall to the floor. He then takes off his hat, and lastly, his own shades, which he sets on Dave's desk gingerly. He turns back to Dave and their eyes meet, just for a second, before neither of them can handle it, and then Bro's lips are on Dave's throat, then his shoulder, then his chest. Bro licks one of his nipples and he whimpers. Then he sucks it, and Dave gasps like a girl. Bro teases his other one with his fingers as he feels Dave's cock grow harder underneath him. He slides his lips lower, running his tongue over the boy's skin, making him shudder as Dave clasps his fingers in Bro's hair. Bro reaches his blond pubes and is jarred by how wispy and thin they are. It reminds him how fucking young Dave is. But that doesn't stop him. Bro runs his tongue up the length of Dave's cock and the kid squeaks. Bro sucks it into his mouth, his hands on Dave's hips, holding him steady as he tries to buck. Dave's knees are still hanging over the edge of the bed and his feet find purchase on the floor. He pushes up hard, shoving himself deep into Bro's mouth, and Bro sucks, running his tongue up and down it. Bro then moves his hands. He slides them under Dave's thighs, then under his knees. He pushes up, making Dave bend his knees, lifting his feet to rest on the end of the bed. Bro's hands slide up the underside of Dave's legs as his tongue runs over his dick. Bro's fingers find their way to Dave's ass. Without thinking much about it, he slides his thumb in between Dave's cheeks and rubs Dave's rectum and the kid yelps, jerks, and pants. "Bro holy shit holy shit holy shit," he says, and Bro pulls Dave out of his mouth and runs his tongue down Dave's shaft, past the base, and over his balls. He puts his hands under Dave's knees and pushes them apart, and then his tongue is teasing Dave's ass cheeks, and then he's shoving the wet muscle between them. Dave tries to clasp his legs shut but Bro holds them open and licks him, slow and gentle and long. Dave lets out an uncertain moan, and then with the next lick, a longer one. Bro is relentless; he knows how to make it fucking feel good and a few minutes later, deep, lustful groans are coming out of Dave's lips and his legs are completely relaxed. Bro moves his fingers up the boy's thighs and starts to stroke his erection, running his thumb over the slit at the same time he forces his tongue inside of Dave. "Ghaaa..ah..ah!" Dave cries, rocking his whole body as his fingers clasp the bedspread underneath him. Bro rolls his tongue along the walls inside Dave and he gasps, then whimpers, then squeals. When Bro pulls back and sits up, Dave is panting, covered in sweat, his eyes darting wildly around the room for a moment before they come to focus on the person sitting above him. "That's called rimming," Bro says, the buzz of the alcohol starting to wear off a bit now, only to be replaced by something else. "It's damn good foreplay." "F..foreplay?" Dave's voice shakes. He swallows between gasps for air. "Yes, foreplay, don't shit me, I know you know what that is." "Yeah, but...but...uh..." Bro crawled over Dave so that he could look him in the eyes. It was unnerving, even to him, to see them so bare and uncovered and red. "Are you going to fuck me, Bro?" Dave whispered, unable to put any substance into his voice. "Do you want me to?" Bro returned, meaning the offer was on the table, meaning he would, admitting to Dave that he wanted to. The question hung heavily in the air between them, hot from both of their breaths so close, and Bro had never hoped for both a yes and a no at the same time so hard in his life. Dave stared up at his brother, face full of uncertainty and indecision. Bro held his breath as black guilt and terrifying hope mixed together inside him. One part of him screamed at him to stop, now; get up, get dressed. The other part of him felt sickly good. "Will it hurt?" Dave's voice squeaked out. Both Bro's guilt and hotness increased. His breath came heavy and thick. "Probably," he said. He gave him the fucking truth. He watched Dave's face as all kinds of things flashed across it- uncertainty, indecision, sadness, pain, lust. But the one thing he didn't see was fear. Dave wasn't afraid of him. He trusted him. Bro's heart pounded furiously with all kinds of things he couldn't even name. "Just the first time, right?" Oh, God. Bro shook. "Maybe not even the whole way through. Maybe the first couple times. Everybody's different." Did he really just say that? He probably should have asked Dave what he was thinking; why the fuck he was even considering this, but Bro didn't want to have that conversation. He wouldn't know what the fuck to say. Dave nodded. Bro was pretty sure his heart stopped beating. "Do it. Fuck me," he said, his voice stronger and more certain than Bro had expected. Holy shit. Bro tried to think, but want rushed through him instead and his lips found Dave's. The kiss was heavy and desperate from both sides. Bro meant to stroke Dave's hair but instead he roughly grabbed a fistful of it. His other hand slid down Dave's body, sticky with sweat, as he rubbed his dick. Dave moaned and arched his back and Bro was fucking doomed. He sat up, breathing hard. "I'll be right back." he said, and he barely trusted his legs as he walked out into the hall and into his room. Hurrying out of fear that he'd come to his senses, he grabbed lube and a half-empty box of condoms. When he came back into Dave's room he saw him, lying fully naked on his bed, ears and cheeks and dick all flushed red, and he wanted him. It didn't make any fucking sense, and he wanted to not fucking care. He knelt on the bed below Dave and put his fingers on the insides of his thighs. Dave inhaled sharply, just from that. Bro's pulse pounded in his ears. He pushed Dave's legs slowly apart. Dave let him, though all his muscles were tense, his fingers clasping at the comforter. Bro squeezed the lube onto his fingers and coated them with as much as he could. He would do his fucking best to not hurt him, he justified to himself. He stroked Dave's ass cheeks first, making a good slick mess between them. Dave's breaths were ragged and heavy, his nostrils flaring as he stared at the ceiling. Bro stroked his entrance with his fingers and Dave whimpered. He rubbed it with his thumb, and Dave gasped. Then a small whimper, and then a moan. Then more moans. "Yeah," Bro said. "Let it feel good." He kept working; he had no reason to rush. They had all fucking night and they were both already home. He teased Dave with his thumb and fingers until he started to relax. Bro saw the tenseness leave him as he started to feel the pleasure. Bro rested the tip of his finger on Dave's sphincter for a moment before sliding in, and then he pushed it inside Dave. He squeaked, grew tense, and squirmed. Bro slid his finger in just up to the first knuckle, then pulled it out again, then went back in. With his other hand he squirted more lube onto it and spread it inside of Dave, pushing his finger in a little farther each time, moving it in circles around inside of him, coating him, making him as slick as he could. Bro started to slide in and out with a rhythm; moving as predictably as possible so Dave would learn what it felt like and know what was coming. He waited patiently as Dave started to trust the feeling. He started to relax again, and Bro moved slowly deeper. He felt Dave's prostate and couldn't resist curling his finger to stroke it. A strangled squeak escaped Dave's lips. The sounds he was making were causing Bro to feel impossibly hot. There was nothing he wanted more than to cause Dave to make more of them. He slid his finger nearly out, and this time added a second one, slowly stretching Dave open. Dave shut his eyes tightly and bit his lower lip as Bro pushed, slowly spreading his fingers inside of him. Dave hissed, whimpered, and then keened. Oh God, he was liking it. Bro heard his own voice give out a small groan. "Fuck..." he said softly, as he scissored his fingers open wider and Dave gasped. Much sooner than he'd added the second finger, he added a third. "Ahhh...yeeee...ahhh..." Dave said softly, and Bro's blood pulsed with impossible heat. Dave hissed and squirmed, alternating between tense and relaxed as Bro eased him open as gently as he could, spreading as much lube inside as he could manage. He reached up with his other hand now and stroked Dave's erection, and it wasn't long before he was fully hard. He was fucking liking it; and that thought filled Bro with both sick pleasure and dark guilt, because if Dave was this fucked up it was his own damn fault. And that still didn't stop him. Bro watched Dave as he worked him, his eyes tracing up his panting, scrawny body. His ribs showed through a little when he inhaled, his collar bone was perfectly pronounced, and he had the start of muscles coming in his arms. All of him was familiar and yet somehow not; he was the same kid Bro had always known and yet he was different. He was different in the way he inhaled sharply as Bro slid his fingers into him; he was different in that he moaned when Bro spread his fingers inside of him. He wasn't a little kid anymore. Sex was a thing for him, now. And whatever it was that was wrong inside of Bro, it was also wrong inside Dave; because when squeaks of pleasure came out of his younger lips Bro could no longer ignore the fact Dave fucking wanted him, too. Bro took his hand away from Dave's cock and slid it down to his own. In three strokes he was hard as anything and unbearable want rushed through him. He stopped thinking. He slowly withdrew his fingers. Dave whimpered when he was left empty. Bro pulled out a condom and with his clean hand, expertly ripped the package open with his teeth. He could feel the heat in his ears, in his cheeks, radiating off of his whole body as he rolled the condom on. He slicked more lube over it, as much as he could, before he wiped his hand off on his shirt. He had never taken so much care about anyone before in his life. He'd never, he realized, actually cared very much about the person he was going to fuck before. And now he did. It felt strange and surreal. He wasn't himself as he leaned down over Dave and looked into his half-closed eyes. Dave's cheeks were flushed pink; his ears were bright red. His breaths came heavy and hard. Bro kissed him. It felt amazing. And he let it. He pulled back from the kiss and moved his hips up, until the tip of his dick rested against Dave. Dave breathed faster, if that was possible, and as if knowing that he needed that confirmation one more time, he nodded. Bro reached down with his hand and slowly pushed against Dave. When he broke the barrier Dave sucked in air through his teeth as he bit his lower lip. That, combined with the heat of Dave suddenly surrounding him turned Bro on beyond sense. He pushed in farther, trying to go slowly, trying to hold back his impatience and desire just enough. Dave whimpered and squeezed his eyes tightly shut. Bro threw his hands behind his scrawny shoulders and held him close to him. "Easy, now," he said softly. "Just relax, trust me." It felt good to say it. His guilt was long gone; buried by the overpowering lust. He knew it would come later, but right now he didn't care. He kissed Dave's ear and wrapped his arms around his back, holding him close as he slid slowly all the way in, and then held perfectly still. Feeling Dave's heat around him was nearly overwhelming. It felt too good. It shouldn't feel this good. Bro waited as Dave panted in his arms. He reached up and stroked his hair, running his fingers through his straight blond locks, kissing his neck softly. "Relax, little bro," he said softly. "That's when it feels good; if you let me in." He slid his hands down Dave's chest, stroking Dave with his palms, his fingers, over his stomach, over his sides. He rubbed his belly, just like he always had, and Dave started to relax. The corner of Bro's mouth upturned in a smile. That was why this felt so good. It was because he knew him. He knew Dave like he knew no one else; and Dave knew him. When Bro felt Dave was ready, or as ready as he was going to get, he planted his palms on the bed and slowly slid out about halfway before pushing back up into him. "Ahhh...ahhh!" Dave cried, and that combined with the feeling of sliding in sent rushes of heat through Bro. He moved back out and pushed in again, trying to go slowly. The pleasure was deep. Bro groaned. He started to move faster. He changed his angle to push up against Dave's prostate, and Dave's head flew back as his eyes sprang wide open. "Oh, God!" he said. Encouraged, Bro did it again. Dave screamed through his teeth. "Ffffuck!" he cried, and Bro smirked as he started to truly thrust. "Damn, Dave," he said. "Shut up!" Dave cried back. "You're making noises too." Something about Dave arguing with him made Bro feel really good. It felt so normal. It felt...right. "Yeah, but I'm not making the neighbors deaf," he retorted. Dave rolled his eyes and spat a laugh. "I can see on your face how you like it," he said. Instead of answering, Bro thrust hard into Dave at the perfect angle, causing him to cry out. He smiled and did it again, and then again, and his heart raced furiously as this situation was blowing his mind. He reached down and took hold of Dave's shaft. Dave keened and whimpered as Bro started to stroke him. His breaths came heavier, harder, and faster. Dave started to rock his hips, though he had no rhythm, no pattern. It was all very awkward and a bit clunky but Bro didn't really care. He'd teach Dave good sex in time. Right now, he was just hot. Dave shuddered, whimpered, and came. The sight and feel of it brought Bro close to the edge himself. He grabbed Dave's hips and started to thrust heavy and hard, as Dave panted under him, sound escaping his lips with every breath. It all came through in a rush, the pleasure overwhelmed him and then Bro came, his fingers clutching Dave's hips, the world swimming around him. Then it all crashed. Bro's senses came back to him immediately, but it was too late. He wanted to yank himself out of Dave in horror, but that would have hurt him. So he forced himself to withdraw slowly. And he looked at his face. Dave was in a daze. Bro pulled the condom off and tossed it on the floor, and grabbed his shirt to wipe the cum off of Dave's stomach. It felt the same as wiping chocolate ice cream off of his face had felt; and yet, it didn't. Bro stretched out on the bed next to Dave and lay down beside him. "Damn," Dave said, his face still flushed, his hair a disaster. Guilt. Guilt crept in from every side. He shut his eyes. This hadn't happened. This couldn't have happened...it hadn't felt as good as it did. "I'm an asshole." he said. Dave heard the shake in his voice. Bro's voice fucking shook. He'd thought he'd gotten rid of that. "Bro, seriously, it's not that bad." He'd just taken Dave's virginity. Yes, it was that bad. Dave crawled over to him and rested his head on Bro's chest. Bro wasn't big on cuddling after sex; he usually hated it. But this was different. He'd held Dave before, a million times, and this was just time million-and-one. Except that it wasn't. He wrapped his arms around his little brother and held him close. There were a million things to say, things he should have said, things he needed to say. But all of them seemed lame when he went to form the words on his lips; all of them seemed hollow, all of it seemed pointless. No matter what he said now, he couldn't take back what he'd done. And so the thing he wanted to say most was the most pointless statement of all: I'm sorry. Chapter End Notes I'm aware I had a problem with tenses shifting in the middle but I couldn't fight it, it just came out that way. Sorry if that bugs anyone. ***** Chapter 11 ***** Chapter Notes Fanart inspired by the last chapter: By_Dreadelion And perhaps inspired by the beginning of this one: By_faun-songs Bro woke up in the morning, naked, in Dave's bed. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but having gotten so drunk and then having sex so late must have exhausted him. He looked down and saw Dave, still curled up in his arms, his head nestled between his arm and his side. The first thought he had was how cute and sexy he was- but then guilt overrode that in a wave that drowned anything good he might have felt. Bro was now the thing he hated most; he had done to Dave himself what he was supposed to protect Dave from. And he couldn't take it back. Dave stirred, and he held his breath. The kid rolled over and opened his groggy eyes. "Holy shit," Dave said. Bro said nothing. He had no idea what the hell to say. Dave sat up and looked down at him. He said nothing, either, but he didn't need to, because they both knew they had the same thought. What the hell do we do now? The unspoken question hung in the silence between them for a long time. Neither brother had an answer. "You okay?" Bro finally asked, and Dave nodded as he looked him right in the eyes. That made Bro feel more naked and awkward than his lack of pants. "Yeah," Dave said. Neither of them knew what else to say. Dave got up. Before he even pulled his boxers on, he put his shades on his face. He grabbed Bro's and tossed them to him. Bro caught them gratefully and put them on. Bro sat up and cracked his neck. He combed his hair with his fingers and put on his hat. Then he rose and pulled his boxers on. "Well, lemme make some breakfast." he said, stretching. Trying to make things normal again. "Does pouring milk over Lucky Charms count as 'making breakfast'?" Dave snarked. "Wise ass," Bro said. "What makes you think we have milk?" Dave snorted and yawned. "I'm taking a shower. I'm gross in all kinds of places," he said instead. Inwardly, Bro winced, though of course his face made no movement at all. He eyed Dave carefully as he walked. He hid it well, but his walk wasn't quite normal. Bro felt sick. He heard the bathroom door shut. Bro bent down and picked up the lube, the box, and the one used condom off the floor. He tossed it in Dave's trash, not looking at it, and went back to his room. He tossed the rest of the stuff onto his cluttered desk and then sank onto the edge of his bed. He didn't want to, but there was no way he could keep from replaying it in his mind. Dave's face, Dave's voice; Dave saying yes, Dave clearly liking it. Just the memory of it was enough to make Bro start to get hard. He leaned his head in his hands as he rested his elbows on his knees. He had no idea what the fuck was going on. He had no idea what the hell to do. He stared at the floor, motionless, trying to think and failing. All he could think about was Dave. About how hot he was, about how he wanted him, about how he should hate that, about how he didn't. Eventually, he heard Dave finish his shower. Bro got up and went to the kitchen, and just like he'd thought, they were out of milk. But he found a box of instant pancakes, the 'just add water' kind, so he dug around till he found a frying pan and started to make those up. They didn't have any syrup, but there was butter, so he pulled that out. Dave walked into the kitchen a few minutes later wearing just a towel and his shades. Bro was still wearing just his boxers, and realized after last night that it didn't really matter. Dave raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you fucking cooking?" Bro shrugged. He flipped the pancake from the pan onto a paper plate and tossed it onto the table. "Does this mean you're gonna actually start cooking now?" Dave remarked. "Don't hold your breath." Dave snorted, clearly meaning he wasn't going to, and started to munch on his pancake. Bro filled up his own plate and sat down next to him, and they ate in silence for a moment. "You got a gig tonight?" Dave asked. "It's Saturday night, Sherlock," Bro replied. "You know what I'm fucking asking." Bro stared at his plate. Yes, he knew. Who you gonna fuck tonight? Me? Or was I just another one-night-stand? Bro felt completely trapped. He couldn't possibly fuck someone else. He already knew his conscience wouldn't let him. But he didn't want to promise Dave he'd come home for him, either; because if he said that he might as well have been committing to some kind of weird-ass relationship with him, they'd be some kind of thing. And that just couldn't be. That couldn't happen. He absolutely did not want Dave attached to him. He wanted Dave to have a chance at a normal life, with normal relationships, which he wouldn't pursue if he had a thing with Bro. No, no, no, for Bro to pursue some kind of thing with Dave would be the ultimate, most selfish thing in the world. To keep him all to himself, to prevent Dave from going out and learning about real life, going on dates, being with kids his own age? What the fuck kind of person was he? The coldest, most selfish kind. "I'll see what I feel like," he said. Except Dave did not look disappointed. Dave looked positively pleased. Bro realized he was far more transparent to Dave than he'd thought. Dave actually smirked. "Sure, Bro," he said, as he rose out of his chair, still in just his towel. "I'll make sure I don't wait up for you," he said as he sauntered out of the kitchen, and that was when Bro realized he'd been holding his breath. He exhaled heavily and shut his eyes as he conceded that Dave had squarely pulled the rug out from under him. It was an extremely rare thing for Dave to get the best of Bro, but it happened on occasion. Dave was the only person who could do it. He was the only person who could read Bro well enough to be able to get the upper hand on him. He was also the only person Bro would ever concede defeat to. Because, out of the hundreds of people Bro ran into on a regular basis, Dave was the only one that he gave any kind of shit about. He was the only person that actually mattered to him. And now he was fucking it up. Dave knew Bro wanted him and it was now impossible for him to hide it. Bro lowered his forehead until it rested on the table. "Shit." was all he said. ***** Chapter 12 ***** Chapter Notes I'd intended to write some actual plot in here, but smut came out instead. :P More plot in Chapter 13, I promise. Bro became absolutely lost in the music. It flowed through him in gorgeous, beautiful rhythms, perfect and flawless, beats on bass on melody as he watched the clubbers dance on the floor below him. The music swallowed him whole and he let it, going wherever it took him, and of course, it took him to Dave. Hot, delicious Dave. There was no longer a point in denying it, now. For whatever reason, Dave was the sexiest thing he'd ever known. The drunker Bro got, the more Dave became all he could think about. Good music and sick beats always left Bro pumped and turned on; but this night, he was raging hot, so much so that he forgot his cool at the end of the night and packed up his equipment in a hurry. He was completely uninterested in every person who came his way flirtatiously looking for a longer night. For the only time anyone could recall, Bro Strider was seen leaving a party alone. He knew there'd be rumors. He knew his reputation was at stake. He didn't give a fuck. He got home in record time, by three-fifteen, still completely drunk. He tossed all his equipment down in the living room in a hurry. Dave was dozing on the couch, but when Bro came in he sat up quickly and rose to his feet. He walked around the couch towards Bro, who was next to him in three strides. Bro's lips crushed heavily upon him as he pushed Dave's back roughly against the wall. Dave moaned into his mouth. After a minute or two of that, Bro's lips were trailing down Dave's neck and Dave raised his chin, giving him access to his throat, letting him in. Completely willing. "Shit, darlin', if ah'da known you'd be this hot and bothered, ah'da worn mah finer dress," Dave mocked. Bro's answer was to clasp Dave's hips between his palms and grind his erection hard against him. Dave moaned as his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he hit his skull on the wall. "Holy shit, Bro, fuck me," he said. "I'm going to." Bro growled through clenched teeth, and then his fingers were sliding underneath Dave's shirt while Dave's fingers shakily reached up to undo the buttons on Bro's. The two brothers hurriedly tore each other's shirts off as they stumbled down the hall to Dave's room. And Bro was too drunk to think about it; too drunk for his conscience to object. Dave was already shaking and panting as Bro tossed him to his bed and crushed him with his body. He ran his tongue down his chest and sucked his nipple into his mouth. He tore his gloves off and slid his hands over Dave's bare flesh, one resting on his hip, the other rubbing his erection through his jeans. Dave raised his hips to press against him. Bro lifted his face to look into Dave's eyes, and suddenly the shades annoyed him. He took his off and tossed them in the general vicinity of his nightstand. When he turned back, Dave had done the same, letting his shades fall unwanted to the floor. They both looked at each other for a moment, just long enough for Bro's heart to start to feel weird, strange, pleasant things that he was too terrified to name. Bro kissed Dave deeply, heavily. Dave made delicious groans as Bro lowered his lips to where Dave's neck and shoulder joined and sucked his sexy flesh, too drunk to worry about leaving marks. Dave shuddered and trembled under him and Bro ground their hard dicks together. Dave's arms flew around his back and held him, his palms pressed against his back, his fingers splayed wide. Bro reached down and unbuckled Dave's belt, yanking down his jeans and boxers in one swift motion. He rose and dropped his own pants in a hurry, then crawled back on top of Dave, planting hot, heavy kisses down his chest. He put his hands on Dave's sides, holding him down as he sucked Dave's cock into his mouth. "Ohhhh...yes!" Dave cried, arching his back, and Bro slid his tongue along his length as he sucked, and all he cared about was how delicious Dave was, how hot the noises he made were, how he wanted him. He slid his lips lower and lower and opened his throat until he had Dave's entire length in his mouth and he couldn't breathe. Dave keened and tried to buck but Bro held him down firmly as he sucked and pulled his lips up. He repeated that, over and over, and Dave's whimpers became screams. His younger hands groped at Bro's hat, tore it off, and tangled themselves in his hair. Bro then realized he'd made an error in calculation; he'd started all of this without getting lube first. Annoyed at himself, he gave Dave one last suck as he pulled him out and sat up straight. "I'll be right back..." he said. "No, no, I got it," Dave said, stretching his arms above his head towards his night stand and yanking the drawer open. He pulled out the lube and box of condoms easily, because they were right on top, and Bro's mind tried to come to its senses for a moment. "Did you take that shit out of my room?" "What? Fuck, no. I'm not allowed in your room." Bro rolled his eyes. "And you're such a rule-abiding angel." "I am and you know it." Bro spat a laugh as he yanked the tube of lube out of Dave's hand and began spreading it between his fingers. "You steal my shit all the fucking time. I found my record in here just a couple days ago." The conversation didn't seem to dampen Bro's lust whatsoever. Actually, talking to Dave like everything between them was normal was somehow turning him on even more. Bro slid his slicked fingers down underneath Dave's balls and Dave complied, bending his knees on his own and spreading his legs. Forget willingness; his complete eagerness sent pulses of pleasure through Bro and his brain swam with alcohol and lust. He slid his fingers between Dave's cheeks and the kid inhaled sharply. Bro teased him on the outside for a moment as Dave panted, clasping the sheets with his fingers, his chest rising and falling in a fast rhythm. "So you were sneaking around in my shit, now?" Dave said. "Just looking for what's mine," Bro replied, still teasing Dave, making him whimper and squirm. "Guess that makes you a hypocrite, then. No wonder I have no respect for people's privacy if I'm learning this shit from you. Some example I've got." Bro snorted. "I'm just a terrible influence on you all around, aren't I?" he said, sliding his finger inside Dave maybe a little harder than he'd meant to. The deep groan that escaped his lips was heavier than Bro had expected. He closed his eyes as he listened to Dave's voice and felt his heat around his finger. "Hell yessss..." Dave said, his voice barely above a whisper. "And don't fucking stop, Bro. Please don't fucking stop." There was no fucking way Bro was going to stop. He slid his finger in and out of Dave much faster than he had yesterday, far more impatient than he'd been then and far more sure that Dave liked it. He waited only a minute or two before sliding in the second finger, Dave's squeak sending shudders down his spine and into his balls. He lowered his head and sucked the head of Dave's cock into his mouth at the same moment he added the third finger. Dave yelped and bucked and groaned, and Bro worked him until he was almost about to come before pulling away completely. In a hurry he slid on his condom, not even needing to stroke himself to hardness. He was already beyond any kind of arousal he'd ever felt. He was impossibly hot. Bro didn't care about the mess he made resting his gooey hand on Dave's bed as he rose to all fours. He looked right into Dave's half-closed eyes as he reached down and lined himself up, his heart racing with wild fire as he pushed up into him. "Oh, God!" Dave cried as he threw his head back, his chin pointed to the ceiling, his breaths coming impossibly fast. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you like this," Bro managed to say, though his voice wasn't nearly as steady as he'd intended, because feeling Dave's heat surround him made him weak in the elbows and knees and just about everywhere else. "Fuck, yes!" Dave screamed. "Bro, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me..." He had every intention of doing just that. Even as drunk and as hot as he was, Bro still started off slowly. Dave was still extremely new to this and he'd be sore from last night. Dave reached up and clasped his hands to Bro's sides, pulling on him, trying to make him go faster. "Easy, little dude," Bro said softly. "I'm in control here, not you." Bro moved at his own pace, steady and slow, stroking his hands across Dave's chest, teasing his nipples with his clean hand while he leaned his weight on the bed with the other. Dave started to follow his rhythm, and then suddenly they were moving together, and Dave found Bro deeper inside him than he'd expected and his eyes flew open wide. "Shit, yes!" he cried, and Bro smirked, and changed his angle to aim for Dave's sweet spot. He thrust and hit it dead-on, and Dave screamed. Heat and pleasure raced through Bro and now he couldn't hold back. He thrust in harder and faster, as Dave begged him for more and more, and Bro looked down to see his brother's dark, purple dick, glistening and begging for attention. Bro reached down his hand and had barely started to stroke it when Dave came, his jizz going everywhere, almost up to his chin. Bro was completely turned on. He thrust heavily into Dave, not holding back, and then he was cumming himself with his eyes squeezed shut and his fingertips digging into Dave's flesh at his hips. Exhausted, panting, Bro collapsed on top of him, not caring about the white gooey ooze that smeared between them. Dave was shaking. Bro was panting. They were both covered in sweat. "Damn," Dave said, and then he was wrapping his arms around Bro, holding him close. Bro rolled a bit to the side so that they lay next to each other, and then the alcohol hit him in a wave and he fell asleep, his dick still inside Dave. ***** Chapter 13 ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes For the second time, Bro woke up naked in Dave's bed. For the second time, he looked down at his little brother's sleeping body, tangled in his arms. And, like last time, the very first thing Bro felt, before his mind had fully awakened and had a chance to ruin it, he felt good. He let the feeling linger a little bit, this time, trying to keep the guilt away just for a moment, as he savored the sweetness of actually having had sex with Dave last night. It only lasted seconds and then Bro's conscience screamed at him even harder for trying to enjoy the horrible thing he was doing. And then he actually remembered some of last night and he stiffened. Gently, trying not to wake him, Bro slid out from under Dave to take a look at him. If the floor could fall out from underneath the universe, that was what Bro felt. Frigid horror held him in motionless fear as he affixed his eyes on the multiple dark, red marks on Dave's neck in the shape of Bro's teeth. Holy fucking shit. Dave rolled over and opened his eyes. In the groggy tiredness of his own half- asleep state, he gazed at Bro with an expression that clearly said totally fucking in love. Bro stared emotionlessly back, and the expression on Dave's face dissipated and was replaced by his normal, nearly deadpan features. "What are you staring at?" Instead of replying, Bro rose and walked out of the room, still completely naked. He grabbed a hand mirror from the bathroom, came back, and tossed it at Dave. He held it up incredulously at first, but then his eyes grew wide as he turned his head to get a better view at the horrific red welts. There were at least four, probably five or six of them, stacked on top of each other. Bro knew from experience that they were going to get uglier before they got better. They'd probably be a hideous shade of purple by tonight. Dave put down the mirror and gave a quick chuckle. "Holy shit, Bro. You fucking ravaged me." Bro remained absolutely silent, as the worst possible scenarios played through his mind. But now, not only had he done something completely debase and horrifically wrong, he'd done something equally as stupid. He'd made this awful thing suddenly impossible to hide. "Dude, say something," Dave said, his face showing just the barest hint of nervousness. "I'm totally fucked if anybody sees this," he said, his blood turning to ice, and it actually took great effort for him to keep himself from freaking out the way he wanted to. But Bro Strider always remained calm, in every situation, and he wasn't about to break that habit. He watched Dave trying to think, and Bro tried to think, but even now found himself distracted by Dave's naked body. He wasn't all that turned on, being still spent from last night, but Bro still found himself needing to stare, needing to take him in. And that was when he noticed more hickeys, covering Dave's stomach and sides, and bruises in the shape of fingers on the sides of his hips... "Bro?" Dave asked, his voice a little shaky, his expression unsure. "You’re freaking me out, dude." Even without saying a word or furrowing an eyebrow, Dave could still read him. Bro shut his eyes for a moment, trying to get his bearings. "It's not that bad..." Dave started. "Yes, it's fucking that bad." Bro cut him off, his tone a little sharper than he'd intended. "What I did is so bad it's fucking illegal, no that's not irony or an exaggeration they can come and fucking arrest me and take you away to a fucking foster home oh shit." Bro's face turned pale and he sank heavily into Dave's desk chair. He stared at the floor, not caring that he was naked. It wasn't important right now. "Okay. I know all that shit," Dave said, still completely calm. Bro held his breath. Of course Dave knew all that shit. He felt a flutter inside of him that he recognized as the embarrassment he felt whenever he overreacted to something. He was years of practice beyond actually blushing- but Dave didn't need him to do that to see it, anyway. "Bro, chill. You think I'm gonna run off and call CPS? "Hey guys, listen, my totally awesome Bro who's the hottest thing since the International House of Pancakes invented the bottomless stack fucked my brains out in the most awesome night of my life, can you please come and ruin it all?" Nobody's gonna know." Bro raised his eyes to look directly at Dave as he heard Dave's confession buried inside a quote, a hypothetical situation, an analogy, and one level of irony. Dave thought he was hot. And even in the horrific situation staring him down, Bro couldn't stop himself from really, really liking to hear it. "Well while you're sitting there like a fucking Renaissance marble statue, I gotta piss." Dave moved to slide off the bed, then suddenly stopped. Then he started again, much more slowly. He rose to his feet with the speed of an old man, though he didn't wince or groan or otherwise give away his situation. Bro felt cold sweat as he watched him try, and fail, to not walk funny as he crossed the room and disappeared into the hall. Holy fucking shit. Bro decided that he wasn't ever touching Dave drunk again. He wanted to swear to himself that he'd never touch Dave again at all- but he already knew he'd fail at that, so miserably spectacularly there was no point in even trying. But stick to soberness he would do. Because this shit was not happening again. Holy shit, no one could see Dave like this. Holy shit, tomorrow was Monday and Dave had fucking school. He wasn't going. There was no way in hell he was going. Bro started to feel a bit better until he remembered the kid was fucking failing math. Any more zeros in that class and he was in fucking summer school. Holy shit. Bro was going to cause Dave to fail the seventh grade. He was that fucking selfish. Not only had he already failed spectacularly to protect Dave from sex- Bro snorted at the understatement of that- he was now failing to get Dave his education. All he needed to do now was ruin Dave's physical health in some way and he was set as the ultimate fail at parenting of the fucking century. Oh, and he was a horrible human being, too. Dave walked slowly back in, looked at the bed, realized he wasn't sitting on it and settled for lounging by leaning his back against the wall instead. Bro didn't raise his eyes to look at him. "You're not going to school tomorrow." "Sweet. If I'da known this was all it took to get you to say that, we should have started this sooner." Bro dropped his eyebrows just slightly to show he was pissed off, and Dave shut his mouth. This was not a fucking joke. "You can't go to school until the hickeys are gone." Dave stared at him for a moment then, biting his lower lip, clearly wanting to say something and clearly embarrassed about it. "Out with it." Dave stared at his own knees. "I don't...know, uh, how long that is." Bro felt sour. Dave didn't even fucking know how long a hickey would last. Because he'd never had one. Or given one. "Usually they fade in maybe a week, but those...look like they'll bruise. Could be two weeks. Could be longer." "Shit," Dave replied. Then he shrugged and leaned back, folding his hands behind his head. "Oh well. Not like I care." Bro glared at him. "You can't miss two weeks of math. You're already failing." Dave shrugged. "I'll just do summer school." Bro flexed all of his muscles to try to contain the anger he felt at Dave's flippant attitude. Dave noticed. "Or we'll figure something else out," Dave said, lowering his arms, and then Bro saw him start to think. Dave looked him directly in the eyes. "Bro, we're overreacting," he said, which was almost irony because this entire conversation had been carried out without a single furrowed forehead or raised voice. "People can still see me. Nobody's going to think it was you." Bro thought about this. "Then who was it?" Dave's eyes fell to the disheveled blankets on his bed, and he bit his lower lip as he thought. "Rose," he said. "Lalonde?" Dave nodded again, this time more assuredly. "Yeah. She'll do it. She'll say it was her." Bro steepled his fingers and rested his chin on the tip of them. "Why would she do that?" he asked, his voice not steady like it should be, and Bro felt a new kind of queasy feeling because Dave clearly had a better handle on things right now than he did. The kid was putting on an air of being slightly perturbed, while Bro was barely containing his desire to flip out. Dave was the one thinking of possible solutions while Bro sat helplessly useless. "Because, " Dave started, his cheeks flushing a little pink as he was about to admit something he'd rather not, "She's gay too. And she doesn't want everybody knowing, or anybody knowing, really, cause the girl she has a thing with is like, shy about it, or something. She's actually, uh, suggested before that we pretend we're going out, to keep everybody off our backs." Bro squinted just a little as he ran this idea through his head. It was arguably a much better solution than Dave not going to school for several weeks. Except... "She's going to ask who it was," he said. Dave shrugged. "I trust her." Bro stiffened. Dave raised his eyes to look directly at Bro, and their gaze met for a few nerve-wracking seconds. "I trust her, Bro. I trust her like I trust John. More, when it comes to keeping secrets, actually, cause she wouldn't let it slip by accident. She's way too smart for that." Bro gave this plan another few seconds of thought. A new feeling was replacing, or overshadowing rather, the guilt that was now a permanent resident inside of him; it was fear. Actual, real fear, such like he hadn't felt since he was Dave's age. "Guess we don't have a fucking choice," he said. He looked Dave directly in the eyes. "You'd better be right." I'm afraid "Of course I'm right. I'm me." It's gonna be okay "Well I guess you have to be right once in awhile." I'm trusting you, dude Dave nodded. "I am this time." Then, after that problem had been solved and there was nothing immediate that needed talking about, the conversation died. Eventually, Bro rose and started to pick up his clothes. There was no point in wearing them; he wouldn't get dressed until after he showered; there wasn't a reason to. When he reached Dave's nightstand to put on his shades, Dave turned his head slightly to look in his direction, though he didn't look directly at him. Bro paused in his motions to listen. "Bro," he said, his voice no longer steady at all, and he clenched his jaw the way he did just before he was about to say something completely honestly. Bro held still, unable, for some reason, to predict what Dave was going to say. "Bro, you can stop feeling like shit any time. I want this." Part of Bro felt pretty amazing hearing that, but only for a second as the guilt, and now fear, swallowed it up. "What you want doesn't matter," Bro answered. "You're too young to fucking consent. It doesn't change anything." He put on his shades and hat with finality and walked out of the room without looking at Dave, because he knew that if he did his entire face would crack into the pain he was refusing to feel, buried under the guilt, buried under the fear. Chapter End Notes Fanart by_Marrionettekind. ***** Chapter 14 ***** Bro spent Monday thinking about nothing but work. Take orders, make orders, deliver orders, it was all he concentrated on because he couldn't handle where his mind wandered when he thought about anything else. He fully expected to find a cop car in front of his apartment building when he got home. He knew Dave could pull off an awesome lie like pretending to date somebody, but he didn't know Rose all that well. He suddenly found himself wishing he'd paid more attention to Dave's friends, but the only one that he really knew was John. John, who hadn't been over in months. Bro went back to thinking about pizza. When he got home, he shut the front door softly and leaned his back against it, and took a few breaths to calm down. He had to calm down. He was overreacting; Dave had called it. Despite what he'd said yesterday, what Dave wanted did matter. He wasn't going to rat him out; he was going to help him hide it. Together they'd lie like the professional actors they both were, and nobody would fucking know. Team Strider Incest, at full lying power, was a force to be reckoned with. The sick, queasy feeling inside Bro didn't lessen whatsoever, but he was getting used to it. He then realized he heard voices coming from the kid's room. With perfect silence he crept to stand outside of it to listen. "Well Kanaya's pestering me about it, but I simply told her it's your secret and I'm not at liberty to tell. She'll be respectful of that," a girl's voice said. Bro barely recognized it, she'd changed so much since she was last over. He swore they were all just kids yesterday, and now...well. "Cool. Cause Bro's flipping his shit like I've never seen. Well no that's not accurate, he's staying as calm as ever but I can tell he's inwardly flipping his shit." Bro heard the creak of Dave's bed. "Yo, no chicks in the bed, get off." She snorted. "Oh, no, I'm your girlfriend now and that earns me certain privileges, such as lounging wherever I please on this extremely romantic date in your room, Strider." "You're really making me want to punch you." She laughed, a sarcastic, condescending kind of laugh. Bro smiled. He liked this girl. "Careful, I might bite back," she retorted. "Oh heavens save me from the wrath of Rose's teeth," he said, with a mockingly feminine voice. She laughed again, more softly, and then there was silence for a long time. "Dave, though I have absolutely no objection to going along with this charade, for the rest of high school if that is your desire, I still feel it my duty as your friend to state my reservations about your... current choices." "I don't remember asking for your opinion, Lalonde." "You didn't. But you're entitled to it anyway. For lack of a more sophisticated way of expressing what I'm trying to say and in the vocabulary of our beloved friend Karkat, this is fucked up." Silence. "Thank you for pointing that out, oh Empress of the Fucking Obvious. Here I thought that I was in a perfectly healthy relationship; it totally never crossed my fucking mind that there was anything wrong with making out with my own brother." Rose gave a heavy sigh. "Dave, I'm just trying to tell you that there are better ways of dealing with your frustration at John than...this." Now Dave gave a heavy, annoyed sigh. "You think you have me all figured out, don't you? So does Bro. Poor, suffering Dave, can't stand that Egbert breaks his heart every fucking day so instead he's rebounding on the nearest available sucker. It never occurs to anybody that just possibly I actually give a shit about my bro." More silence. "I wasn't implying that you don't care about him. I was just stating the simple fact that you should probably experiment with your homosexuality elsewhere, because if this goes sour it could ruin your relationship with him forever." "Thank you, Dr. Lalonde, Ph.D. But I'll handle my love life the way I want, thanks." "You have every right to. Like I said, this arrangement works well for me so I don't have a problem with it. I just don't want to see you get hurt." Dave snorted. "Don't worry, Egbert already took care of that." More silence, this time, and it stretched on long enough that even Bro started to feel uncomfortable. "Have you told him?" she asked then, her voice much softer and gentler. Bro stiffened outside the door. More people were going to find out than just Rose...Egbert, who couldn't keep a secret for his life... "He already knows they hickeys aren't from you, obviously." "That was the Strider equivalent of 'no', then." Dave sighed. "I only told Bro I was going to tell you." "What, so you need his permission, now?" Bro tensed as he heard the contempt in her voice. The self-loathing started to come on full force, and then, "Kinda, but more it was just we agreed I'd only tell you." Again, she said nothing as she carefully formulated her answers. "We agreed." "Yeah." The unspoken accusation hung in the air for quite awhile, and had this been a conversation between two Striders, it would have remained unspoken forever. But Rose had no problem with stating uncomfortable things. Actually she seemed to enjoy it. "This is more than just some making out, isn't it?" Fuck. "Is that a problem?" Dave said. Great, just fucking confess to the whole thing, kid. "Dave, what is really going on?" Bro could have interrupted. He should have interrupted. But instead he found himself desperately listening to Dave's answer of the question Bro would never be able to ask. "What? Nothing. Bro and me are on a hot tidal wave of raging inferno brocest where we can't keep our hands off each other's junk and he fucks me under my dress till the cows come home." Bro stopped breathing. Rose sighed heavily. "Whatever, Dave. One day you'll actually trust me, and you'll manage to say something that's vaguely truthful instead of hiding behind a tremendous wall of overcompensated defensiveness." She didn't believe him. Holy shit. Dave had confessed to her the absolute truth- and had done it with such a carefully constructed face and tone so that she didn't believe a word he'd said. It was perfect irony. Bro smiled with pride, and heavy relief, as he silently moved back to the front door and then slammed it to announce he was home. He walked to Dave's room and opened his door without knocking. "Oh. You have company," he said, perfectly calmly. "Bro, get out." Instead he leaned against the door frame, suddenly wanting to tease Dave relentlessly. He also wanted to see Rose's reaction to him. At the moment she was staring in his direction, her eyes squinting an accusation. He pretended to not notice. "What the hell for? Were you actually doing something where you needed the door closed?" "It's my fucking room. Get out." Bro snorted and raised an eyebrow. That's not what you said last night he implied, all just to see how Rose would react. She clearly picked up that something unspoken was going on, though as to what she thought he couldn't tell. "I guess you and your girlfriend don't want Chinese then," he said, looking down at his thumb as if it was the most interesting thing in the room. "I'll just order for myself." "Fuck you," Dave said. "I'll have chicken lo mien, please," Rose responded. Bro nodded in her direction. "At least somebody around here has some fucking manners," he replied, and then he turned and left, feeling her glare bore into his back as he walked down the hall. He was perfectly aware that he and Dave had just put on a show, solely for Rose's benefit, and they had solidly pulled it off, too. He smiled to himself as it felt spectacularly good that somehow, at least in front of company, they were just bros with benefits. What they were when nobody else was around was something he had no fucking clue about. Much later, after they'd eaten dinner, Bro was in his room mixing soft beats when he looked up to see her standing there, arms crossed, smack in the middle of his territory. He coolly lifted his headphones off and noticed that Dave was nowhere to be found. He listened and heard the TV on in the living room. "He thinks I've gone to powder my nose," she said, glaring. "I'm just going to say this once. But whatever the hell your reasons are, I know they're not the same as Dave's. He's too proud to say it to you, but he looks up to you, you mean a lot to him, and this...thing you're doing means a lot more to him than it does to you. So break it off before he gets even more entangled than he already is and you wind up hurting him and leaving me to pick up the pieces. I'm not afraid of you like everyone else. I'm not afraid to tell you you're a piece of shit." Of course, Bro gave her his prized emotionless stare. "Thanks for your opinion. I'll keep it in mind," he said, and she only shook her head the way an exasperated mother who has given up on her horrible children does. She turned to leave, and just as she was at the door, he opened his mouth. "Rose." She stopped and turned to face him. "Thank you." he said. The contempt on her face was intense. "I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for him. Because some of us actually care about him." She left, and shut the door softly behind her, and Bro should have felt like shit. Except...he didn't. Because he knew he did give a fuck about Dave. A lot of fuck. And Dave gave a damn lot of fuck about him. It was more than Bro Strider had ever had before. And it felt damn good. ***** Chapter 15 ***** The beats flowed beautifully from Bro's fingers after that. He couldn't stop inwardly laughing at the irony of the situation; knowing that Rose hated him made him hate himself less, for some reason. So when, a few hours later, his music suddenly shut off and he opened his eyes to see Dave, he wasn't even annoyed. He pulled his headphones off and set them aside, and to his annoyed embarrassment, found himself giving Dave a smirk that was dangerously close to a smile. Bro had spent years learning how to hide fear, anger, frustration, uncertainty, annoyance, sadness, etc, etc, from his face. But a smile was a thing that happened to him so rarely, he barely had any defense against it. Or maybe it was just that he had no defense against Dave. Dave could read him anyway; so there was no point. Dave gave him an equivalent half-smirk right back. "She's gone," he said. Before either of them had a chance to think Bro was in front of him, holding him tightly, their lips crushed together. Dave reached his arms up to hold Bro in return; a new thing. Bro's heart flew wildly in his chest; he was feeling extremely strange things and he didn't know what to call it. He only knew that it was a thing he'd never felt before, he liked it, and he was going to have more. He bent down to kiss Dave's neck and Dave lifted his chin to let him in. He moaned softly, and Bro's right hand was running through Dave's hair while his left hand sank to grab his ass. "Bro, oh God...I can't stay away from you..." Bro gave a snorted laugh as he moved his lips down Dave's throat in fervent but carefully non-marking kisses. "You think you're the one who can't stay away?" he said, surprised at the honesty in his own voice. He had, in his desire, forgotten to coat what he'd said in irony or even just sarcasm. And he would have been annoyed with himself at being so uncool except at that moment, Dave slid his hand down and rubbed Bro's erection through his jeans, and Bro forgot how to think. "Uhhh..." he said softly, tearing his shirt off as he dragged Dave to his bed. Dave removed his own shirt and in seconds they were a tangled mess of arms and legs and lips, both holding each other like long-parted lovers who never thought they'd be lucky enough to see each other again. Like lovers. Bro's mind jolted at the thought. No, no, there was no way they could be that. They were brothers. Bro was fucking raising Dave, he was practically his father, and this situation was already as messed up as possible and Bro didn't need to be making things worse by adding in extra shit like... "Gha...ahhhh..." he moaned as Dave suddenly started kissing his neck. It was a sensation Bro hadn't felt very often, because he was always, always on top. He was always in control, and therefore was always the one giving the kisses, not receiving them. He hadn't even noticed somehow winding up on his back, Dave's little body resting on his chest. "Maybe me having hickeys is a problem...but you're something else," Dave said, his voice raspy with lust, and then he clamped down on Bro's neck and sucked. Bro was helpless to do anything but let out an airy moan and wrap his arms around Dave to hold him there. Bro closed his eyes and let himself feel Dave; Dave's lips, Dave's tongue, Dave's hands clasping his shoulders. Bro almost never allowed himself to be marked, because he rarely wanted to be reminded of a person he'd fucked several days later. People he gave hickeys to of course wore them as bragging rights. "You see this, this is from Bro Strider's hot lips, hell yes believe it." But Bro almost never fucked the same person twice- actually the list of people he'd been with twice was very, very short. Probably somewhere around ten, he thought. The list of people he'd been with more than twice was even shorter. And if he crossed off ones with whom he didn't have a choice...the list was zero. Dave moved his kisses from Bro's neck down to his chest. He ran his tongue over to Bro's nipple and started to lick it tentatively; it was a thing he'd never done before. Bro inhaled sharply and then closed his eyes as he let himself enjoy it. "Dave..." he said, his voice shaking far more than he'd wanted it to. He wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him he was the only one, the only person Bro had ever wanted more than twice. But the words died before they ever got near his lips. Like hell he could ever admit any of that, and besides that Dave didn't need him dumping his shit all over him. It made Bro really uneasy that some part of him wanted to, though. Dave stopped sucking on his nipple and raised his head. They both still had their shades on and this time, Bro wanted them. He was terrified of what his eyes might be giving away in this moment, and he didn't want to deal with that. "What?" Dave asked, his face clearly perplexed, because Bro so rarely called him by his actual name unless he was in trouble. "We're just gonna suck each other off tonight, k? Your ass needs a break." Not at all what he'd intended to say, but still a thing that was on his mind. Dave nodded, and maybe even looked a little relieved. "Awesome. I need to practice anyway," And then Dave's lips were back on Bro's chest, and Bro's skin tingled as he kissed lower and lower, his hands caressing his stomach and sides for quite a while before wandering lower to undo the zipper on Bro's jeans. Though no one in their right mind would have called Dave a pro, there was certainly improvement from the last time. He still made Bro feel good enough that he was able to forget all the thoughts that were troubling him long enough to cum. And then he eagerly returned the favor, fully enjoying the sounds Dave made as he wrapped his lips around his swollen manhood, getting nearly as much pleasure from that as he'd gotten from the reverse situation. When Dave came Bro found himself swallowing every delicious drop and then licking him clean, until Dave reached sensory overload and begged him to stop. Though they had actually finished rather quickly, Bro found himself completely exhausted. He barely had the presence of mind to reach over and set his alarm early enough for Dave to get up for school. And then they fell asleep together, naked in Bro's bed, tangled in each other's arms, and Bro felt frighteningly good. And he didn't hate himself nearly enough for it. ***** Chapter 16 ***** They had sex every night that week. Though delivering pizza wasn't anything close to interesting, Bro's days usually passed in an uneventful blur. But now, since this had started, his days dragged on forever, the clock refused to move as he found himself completely impatient to get home. He was hot and horny as hell, every day, and Dave reciprocating that didn't help their situation. The days became a delicious, awesome routine of work, shower, dinner, TV, sex. Where TV ended and sex began was a fuzzy line, anyway, as they watched TV with Dave in Bro's arms, back pressed against his chest, and Bro missed more and more chances to make snide remarks at the shows as his attention became more and more absorbed in stroking Dave's hair, burying his lips in it as he pressed kisses to the top of his head. Eventually his hands would wander lower and his lips would find flesh and the TV would become ignored, and then it was nothing but hot, amazing forbidden sex until they fell asleep in one of their beds. This routine became such a blissful thing that when it was interrupted, Bro was annoyed. He came home one day and saw two backpacks tossed by the door and knew Dave had somebody over. And then he heard the girliest, cutest giggle followed by the derpiest snort imaginable come out of his room, and Bro's breath caught in his throat. For the first time in probably half a year, John Egbert was over. In Dave's room, with the door closed, giggling. Bro felt a surge of jealousy, closely followed by a feeling of total shock at his own reaction. What the hell? Jealousy, Bro? He walked straight to Dave's door and flung it open, to find the two of them watching some internet webcomic on Dave's computer. Dave was leaning back comfortably in his desk chair, posture completely relaxed, back slouched and arms draped over the sides. John was laying on his stomach on Dave's bed, hugging a pillow under his chin as he kicked his sock feet back and forth. There was no way in hell that boy was straight, was the first thought Bro had. And then they both turned to look at him. Dave's face was perfectly unreadable. John's eyes grew wide as he stared at Bro, and then his mouth fell open a bit, and then he scrambled to sit up as his face turned beet, beet red. The level of redness of his face would have been comical, if Bro hadn't been so completely preoccupied with trying to figure out what the hell was going on. "Hhhh...hey, Bro," John stuttered, and though John had always been a nervous little thing around him, this was overreacting even for him. Bro raised an eyebrow and turned to Dave. "What did you tell him?" he accused. Dave shrugged, completely relaxed. "Everything." They both stared at each other as Bro felt fierce anger flash through him, along with a ridiculous feeling of betrayal. There was no reason in hell he should feel that, especially because he'd seen this coming a mile away. But, well, he'd expected to be warned, he supposed. Or asked, even, about when...or even if, to tell John everything that was going on between them. Wait. Everything? "Bro you can stop freaking out any time." Dave said, and John shot Dave a completely confused look, because Bro was not freaking out. He hadn't moved a muscle. He hadn't twitched a single part of his face. "Uh, um...Dave, did I get you in trouble?" John stuttered. He then turned back to Bro, acting as nervous as if Bro had walked in on them making out. He started to babble. "Bro, um, I swear, I mean, Dave made me promise over and over and over on my life and my Nanna's ashes that I will never, ever, ever tell anybody not even Rose who already knows some of it anyway. I mean, Dave was just telling me cause we're best bros...I mean, well, you're his bro, but um, uh, we're more like, regular, platonic bros like the way people are usually..." "Egbert, shut up." Bro said, and John's yammering mouth clapped shut. Bro turned to Dave with an icy, raging-hot stare. "When he leaves," Bro said, trying his best to keep the anger out of his voice and failing, "I'll be waiting on the roof." Without giving Dave a chance to reply, he turned and left, stepping into the bathroom to take a shower, to wash the pizza grease off, even though he knew he was just going to sweat again because it was going to be a very intense swordfight. Because he was fucking pissed as hell. As the hot water poured on his head and rolled down his back, relaxing his muscles, Bro tried to analyze the situation while holding it together. But he couldn't. He couldn't keep a single straight thought. Confused as fuck was a total understatement of his situation. He felt totally betrayed, for no reason. He knew they could trust John. He felt completely jealous, for no reason; even if John was gay he wasn't admitting it right now so it wasn't a factor...and Dave had been halfway across the room from him. He felt completely angry, and afraid, and guilty for feeling any of those things. He felt selfish...because what if John did one day return Dave's feelings? Would Dave miss his chance to be with him, because he had a fucked up relationship with Bro? Would Bro rob Dave of the opportunity at a normal life like that? If Bro actually cared about Dave, shouldn't he want Dave to be with John, and option that was clearly healthier for him? All of those thoughts ran together into a mix of shitty feelings that Bro knew was a complete overreaction to the situation. It wasn't like he could actually lose Dave. They were fucking family, after all. All he'd lose would be some awesome sex; they'd still be bros. Nothing much would change at all, really. And then Bro would just go back to his old life of getting sex in other places, and things would go back to normal, and none of this was a big deal at all. Except that was a giant fucking lie, and he knew it. It was quite possible that in the midst of the hot water droplets running down his face that a few of them were actually tears. But nobody would ever really know whether that was true, not even himself. ***** Chapter 17 ***** Chapter Notes First, <33333 to all my readers, especially those who comment, because it is that which I feed on like mind honey for inspiration to write this thing. It's the human interaction I get from you guys that makes Bro and Dave come alive and be so real to me. So really, you are all the stars. It's you. That, and obviously Bro/Dave is my OTP. Bro stared out at the loud, noisy city as the hot Texas sun beat on his shoulders left exposed by his tank top. A slight breeze blew past, rustling the ends of his hair that extended below his hat. He always came up here when he needed to clear his head, and before, it had always worked. But now, every problem he'd ever had suddenly felt like a joke in comparison. He'd managed to take the one good thing he had in his life and fuck it up. Literally fucked it hard into the mattress. And then Bro had made the worst mistake of his life. The worst mistake wasn't the sex. No, he could handle that. The worst mistake was something completely else, something he couldn't name, but he'd allowed himself to get weak. He'd allowed it to change him, just a hair. And now, he was going to pay. It was he who would pay, he already knew. Dave hadn't done a damn thing wrong. Bro was still pissed as hell at him, but he knew a good swordfight would take care of that. And then, once he was no longer angry... He didn't know. He heard the door to the stairwell creak open and he walked away from the edge. He stood in the center, feet apart in good stance, arms crossed, face in perfect, impassive anger. Dave stood, a perfect miniature copy of him, stance just as perfect; though his face was not angry. It wasn't upset, it wasn't anything. Dave was a perfect blank slate. "Feeling gossipy lately?" Bro accused, teeth clenched, as he drew his sword. "I don't have to justify a damn thing to you," Dave replied, his voice an even keel as he stood, arms calmly at his sides. "It seems the seriousness of this situation hasn't sunk into your skull. Maybe I should have you run around the national registered sex offender website to give you a clue." Dave snorted in disgust. "I'm not the one without a clue, dude." He shook his head, just barely. "I'm done talking." He drew his own sword, the sound of the metal against the hilt as familiar as the smog-filled air. And then Bro was on him in the quickest flash-step he could muster. Dave raised his blade to meet his in a perfect block, not caught off-guard whatsoever. The sound of the clang rang in Bro's ears and he tried to clear his mind. He began steady, a couple of warm-up slashes in a familiar pattern which Dave parried easily. He repeated it, but halfway through the third time he changed, swinging quickly from a low to a high slash. Dave side-stepped him and blocked it easily. Bro was too angry to think clearly. Dave was as calm as hell. "Come on, Bro. That the best you got?" he egged, and Bro came at him again, not sure what exactly it was he was fighting for but whatever the hell it was, it was damn important. The two of them danced over the roof, the obstacles familiar, the ventilation pipes, the air conditioner units, the two folding chairs set up by the elderly couple who lived on the top floor. They both knew every square inch of this roof, and they both knew every move the other had. Dave was always a worthy opponent, though he had never yet actually bested Bro. He was an equal match in skill, that was for certain. One day, probably soon, he'd surpass Bro, having started sword fighting at a much younger age. But Bro still had a huge advantage in the strength department, and a pretty good lead on endurance, too. That was usually how he won- he just outlasted Dave, waited for him to grow just tired enough, and moved in for the kill. "I'd accuse you of blowing this whole thing out of proportion," Dave said, somehow calm enough to have the breath to speak, "but you're not. You're just seeing the wrong fucking picture." Bro was breathing too hard to speak, not that he had anything to say. He came down at Dave with a vertical slash, and Dave's blade was there to block him. He tilted his sword to re-direct Bro's blow and spun around out of his reach, buying himself half a second while Bro had to change directions. He turned to face him again. "Since you see my picture so fucking plainly," he managed to spit, "why don't you tell me yours?" For the first time, Dave stopped blocking and actually attacked him. His strokes were flawless, but easily predictable. Bro actually got a bit of a rest fending him off, because he knew exactly what was coming. He knew every one of Dave's tells. "I had to tell John," he began. "He deserves to know." "What the hell for? How is this his business?" "Because I am his business," Dave said. "It's okay, Bro. I know you can't understand." New rage surged through Bro. He broke Dave's next stroke and threw it back at him, his own blade coming to three inches from his face. They practiced with dulled swords, of course; a misstep usually ended with just a sharp red mark, but that didn't make their activity safe. They both had gotten stitches often enough that they actually had an opinion about the customer service at the various emergency rooms nearby. Bro pressed hard on his sword as Dave sweated, trying to push him back. "Enlighten me." Bro spat. Dave suddenly bent backward in a beautiful show of dexterity and slipped out from under Bro as he lost his footing from his own weight. He had to take several extra steps to regain his balance. He turned, ready to fend of the next attack. Dave stood, sword lowered, several feet away. "It's called friendship," Dave said. "I'm not mocking you. I know you can't understand, because you don't have any friends." "I have hundreds of fucking friends." Dave snorted. "No, Bro. You know hundreds of people." Bro's anger flared to a blinding rage. He attacked Dave relentlessly, foolishly, futilely. Dave parried him easily, almost making a joke of him, barely breaking a sweat as he simply dodged most of Bro's attacks. "This is what fucking happens when you don't let any body in, Bro. You keep telling me that I don't fucking get it; I'm too damn young to understand- but hell, I know a lot more about relationships than you do, because I actually have some." Bro was wearing himself out, and he knew it. But he no longer fucking cared. If Dave wanted to mock him, beat him, and run his sword through him, then he should fucking do it. "So what happens when you only let one person in? Huh? What happened to us isn't a fucking mystery, it makes perfect sense. If there's only one fucking person you give a damn about, what do you think is gonna happen?" Bro's mind refused to admit what his heart refused to bear. Instead he fell on the same old routine of self-hatred that was far more familiar, much more comfortable. "Just say it, Dave. We both know I fucked up raising you; you'll get to be one of those rich successful dudes who tells his expensive shrink every Friday night how fucked up your childhood was, and then go home to your boring, normal family with three derpy children that you keep from visiting their crazy uncle." With the last bit of strength he had, Bro let loose a relentless wave of attacks. Dave matched him, but it was clear he was getting tired. Bro was closing in; Dave was having a harder time repelling him and Bro's blade came closer with every swing. "Damn it, Bro. If I ever wind up raising kids they'll be fucking cool as hell," he said. And then he brought up his knee into Bro's chest, right into his solar plexis. Bro hadn't seen it coming at all; he'd been too focused on his attack to even remember the fact Dave could hit him back. All the wind rushed out of him and he collapsed to his knees, gasping for air, his body desperate for it as his lungs refused to work. He felt the edge of Dave's blade press gently against his throat in the symbolic kill. Bro fell to his ass with exhaustion, bent over, trying to calm his diaphragm enough to take a breath. "John's the straightest fucker ever born," Dave said. "You should see the girls he chases after...you should see the girls he gets, with his whole 'I'm a helpless nerd without a life, oh someone save me,' act. It's disgusting." Bro finally managed to get some air. He wanted to take deep gulps of it, but all he could get were tiny gasps. Dave thankfully shut the hell up for a moment and let him recover, until he was able to lean his back against an air conditioning vent. "Then why hasn't he been around?" Bro finally managed to wheeze. Dave turned and sat on top of a circuit box, resting his elbows on his knees, his hands hanging between them. "Because I was still fucking in love with him, dammit, and he knew it, and everything was just really fucking awkward and weird because he didn't know how to act and I didn't know what to say to make it right and it just...was easier if we took a break from seeing each other a lot, that's all." Bro was too exhausted and confused to give a fuck about being cool. He let his eyebrows furrow to show his total confusion. "So what's different today?" "I told him everything." Dave slid down off of the circuit box and joined Bro on top of the hot tar paper of the roof. He knelt down, one leg between Bro's, interlocking them, far, far, too close. "I told him he didn't have to feel guilty about hurting me any more. I told him I was over him, like that. That we could be just friends, because I had someone else." Bro shut his eyes tightly, his mind reeling. He had never been floored so flat on his ass before. He felt something brush against his cheek and he jolted, every muscle tense, ready for another fight before he realized it was Dave's fingertips. He opened his eyes, not brave enough to look into Dave's eyes, not even through two pairs of shades. "Bro, I know I'm all you've got, okay? You're not all I have, so I get why you're jealous, I get that you're afraid, I get that you're pissed. I get it. I'm not too fucking young or innocent or some bullshit. I don't have a damn innocent bone in me. You took good and care of that." Bro winced. He wished Dave had just run him through with his sword, it would have hurt less. "And it's fucking awesome," Dave said, and then his lips were kissing him, hard, knocking Bro's head against the ventilation shaft with a loud bang. And Bro could not stop himself from kissing him back; he could do nothing about it. His arms were around Dave against his will, pulling him in, pulling him close, the heat of the room and their bodies so close making sweat drip into his eyes and down his neck and he never, ever wanted to move. It became too hot, and Dave had to pull back and stand up. He reached down his hand, and Bro took it and let him pull him to his feet. Dave was shorter than him, now, but it didn't stop Bro from feeling incredibly small and vulnerable and helpless, anyway. "I get that I'm all you have, Bro. I get it. What you need to get is that means I'm not going anywhere. Ever. Cause if there's one person in this world who fucking needs me, it's you." All Bro could do was kiss him. He had no idea how to describe what he was feeling; he couldn't order his thoughts enough to make any kind of sentences. So he let his lips show how he felt; desperate and needy and alive. Dave pulled away from his kisses and Bro just moved his lips down to his neck, the salty taste of his sweat filling his mouth and he didn't care. ***** Chapter 18 ***** Chapter Notes Fanart from the last chapter: By_Dreadelion "We should probably get off the roof, dude. People can see us up here." Bro stumbled towards the door, grabbing Dave's hand and pulling him along, and Dave came willingly, a genuine smile on his face. They raced down the stairs, two and three at a time and slammed the door to the apartment open so hard the knob would have put a hole in the wall, had there not already been one. Bro kicked it closed and locked it, and when he turned around Dave already had his shirt off. Bro tore his own over his head, his entire body disgustingly sweaty, but he didn't give a fuck. Dave grabbed his hand, and he let him lead him to Bro's room. Dave then held his hand with both of his own and pulled at the velcro on Bro's glove. Bro shook as he let him peel it off, and then Dave gently lifted his other one and did the same. He then moved his smaller hands up to Bro's head and took of his hat, drops of sweat falling to the floor along with the soaked hat. Dave reached up and took off his own shades, and then his fingers gently slid to clasp the side of Bro's. Bro nodded once, and for the only time in his life, let someone else take off his shades. "We're totally disgusting," he said, and Dave smiled at him. "Yeah." "Do you want to shower first?" Dave's eyes were already closed a little in a lustful expression as he licked his lips and let them trace down Bro's body. "If you want." Bro grabbed his arms and pushed him hard onto the bed. He had thought he'd been exhausted but now found himself full of energy. His heart flew wildly in his chest as his hands flew through Dave's hair. He moved his lips down to his neck and tasted nothing but salt and didn't give a fuck. His jeans were already too tight as he rutted up against Dave and he moaned deeply. The hickeys on Dave's neck were just barely starting to fade. Bro licked them, tracing his tongue over them, remembering the night he'd put them there and laughing at himself. He traced his lips down Dave's throat and to his chest, then down to his stomach where he sank in his teeth and sucked, hard. Dave groaned and pressed his hands against the back of Bro's head, pulling him close, keeping him there, tangling his fingers in his hair, making it perfectly clear that he never wanted him going anywhere. Bro left mark after mark after mark, his heart pounding furiously with excitement that he'd never felt before, as his lips and teeth said what he couldn't- I want you, over and over, I want this to last, I want this again. Bro slid his hands down to Dave's jeans and unzipped them. He had to stand up to peel the sweaty clothes off of him, and Dave rose too, and undressed Bro. For a moment they just stood, cooling off, looking at each other. Bro wanted to say something. He felt there was something he should say. But he didn't know what it was, or how to phrase it, but when he looked into Dave's face, he knew he didn't have to. Whatever it was, Dave knew. Dave reached up his hand again and stroked Bro's cheek softly. Bro closed his eyes at the strange sensation. He couldn't recall ever having someone touch him like that before. It was heaven. "Bro," Dave whispered, his voice shaking, his fingers trembling. Bro opened his eyes and he felt star-struck. He felt like a fucking teenager again. "Bro, let me fuck you." Dave said. Oh, God. Bro's heart raced with a million things. Excitement came first, but fear was right on its heels. He felt sickly joyful, or joyfully sick, he wasn't sure. All thoughts of coolness were long gone; Bro was just trying to hold himself together now, and he knew that this would make him fall apart. He'd never voluntarily been fucked before. He'd never wanted it before. He'd never...trusted someone enough, before. He nodded. "Let's do this." he said softly. "Let's make this happen." Dave's kisses were sweet and slow and gentle. Bro fell back to the bed, already shaking like a fucking virgin girl. Dave's hands pressed against his shoulders, not exactly pinning him because he was too small, but Bro wouldn't have moved for the universe. Dave's lips brushed against his neck, his tongue running down it and Bro groaned, his eyes closing with pleasure at such a simple thing. He'd never felt like this in his life. He was totally lost in bliss. Dave's hands paused to stroke his nipples and Bro's heart couldn't possibly beat faster. The gesture made him feel completely vulnerable and exposed, and it surprised him how good it felt. He reached his hands up and stroked Dave's back gently, then his sides, his shoulders, his neck, needing to touch him, desperate to be close. Dave moved his lips lower, his stomach and chest sliding over Bro's hardened dick, teasing it, making him groan and raise his hips. He was a complete puddle of helpless uncool; Bro at any other time would have rolled his eyes and laughed at Bro now, but past Bro was a naïve moron. Because nothing had ever felt this good before. Ever. Dave slid his lips over the top of Bro's dick, and he moaned unabashedly. Dave already knew every fucking thing about him. He had no reason to hide how he felt. If it felt fucking good, he was going to moan, damn it. Dave still couldn't take much of Bro into his mouth, but he took what he did without any teeth and with plenty of tongue. He sealed his lips and gave Bro's tip a good, hard suck, and Bro shuddered and whimpered. He wanted to buck his hips. So he did. Dave's hands were on his waist, holding him down. Bro's hands were tangled in Dave's hair like it was a lifeline. The pleasure rushed to his balls and his dick swelled as Dave gave it one last suck, and then rose. Dave looked up into his eyes and smiled, and it was damn sexy. He stretched across the bed to open Bro's drawer and pull out the lube and condoms. Bro watched him, breathlessly, language a thing he'd completely forgotten how to use as he watched his younger brother squirt lube onto his fingers and spread it. Dave put his hands under the backs of Bro's knees and pushed them up. Bro's heart beat like a rabbit's as he bent them and spread his legs. He suddenly felt himself faced with a hundred old feelings and a thousand new ones. He'd never been fucked face up before. He felt like a fucking virgin as Dave's fingers tentatively stroked his ass, the lube cool against his hot skin as Dave teased his fingers slowly closer. Dave's finger brushed gently against Bro's sphincter and he shut his eyes tightly, tightly closed. He inhaled sharply and held his breath. But Dave was gentle, he stroked him sweetly, teasing him, making it feel good. He was patient, he was tender, and he waited until Bro got used to it, until he started to relax. Slowly, uncertainly, Dave pushed his first finger inside. Bro whimpered. He suddenly felt thirteen himself. He was certainly no awesome cool dude; he was no night club DJ, he was no experienced sexual pro, he was no sword fighter, and he certainly was nobody's guardian. Dave moved his finger in slowly, not going very far at first. He moved in a steady, predictable rhythm, so Bro would know what was coming. He spread plenty of lube, sliding in a little further each time, perfectly patient, gentle, and sweet. Just like Bro had taught him. Dave curled his finger up and searched for a moment, but when he stroked Bro's prostate, he gasped. Old feelings surfaced and at first he felt immensely sick. Then Dave's other hand was on his stomach, stroking him. "Hey, it's me." he said. "It's just Dave." Bro had never really told Dave all that much, and he was never sure just how much he knew about Bro's childhood. But in that one moment it became perfectly clear that he knew everything. He knew it all. There was not one single corner of Bro that Dave did not know. Dave left his finger inside of Bro and slid his body up, so he was over him, putting his free hand beside Bro's head. He continued to move in and out, slowly, gently, as he leaned down, his eyes gazing right into him. "You haven't fucked me up at all," he said gently. "When I say I have so much more than you, what I mean is I know I have that because of you. You think I don't notice you working your ass off at two jobs, seven days a week, so I can have shit like my own set of turntables and a fucking darkroom? You think I don't appreciate that you teach me every fucking thing you know, so that I'm able to take care of myself? You did what every good parent dreams of doing. You gave me a better life than the one you had. Tons better. So much better that I have all kinds of things you never had; I can do all kinds of things you could never do, and I can say the thing you can't say," he said softly. Dave leaned down then, so his lips were next to Bro's ear, because he knew Bro wasn't strong enough to take the next thing he said. "Bro, I love you, too." The sound that escaped Bro's lips was something between a whimper and a sigh of relief. He swore it was like his heart cracked in half and came alive at the same time, and at that moment Dave stroked his finger against his sweet spot and it felt fucking amazing. Bro arched his back, his breaths heavy and thick, and Dave slid a second finger into him as he leaned down for a sweet, long kiss. Dave worked him slowly, and Bro enjoyed every second of it. They were in no hurry. There was no reason to rush. Slowly, gently, Dave eased him open, spreading as much lube inside of him as he could. By the time Dave added a third finger, Bro was more than ready. He was turned on in a totally new way; he felt things he never knew could exist, and everything, all of it, was beautiful. Dave slowly pulled his fingers out. He picked up the condom with his clean hand, looked at his lube-covered one, and laughed. He tossed it at Bro. "Little help," he said, and Bro rolled his eyes, but a fucking smile was plastered on his face as derpy as Egbert's. He tore the package open and Dave took the condom out. At least he knew how to put it on; he must have practiced that, Bro thought with amusement and hotness as he watched him spread lube over his latexed dick. But then Dave slid down so he was between Bro's legs, and Bro inhaled sharply as he felt him push against his entrance. He stopped breathing. The entire world stopped. "You can change your mind." "Fuck that," Bro said. "I mean, yes, do it." Dave nodded, his cheeks flushed with heat and uncertainty. He reached down with his lubed hand to guide himself in and pushed, too gently; nothing happened. Then he pushed harder, then a bit harder, then... Bro gasped as he felt him inside, not just a finger; Dave was small but he still filled him and went deeper, and deeper, and "Holyshitholyshitholyshit," Bro whispered, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He heard Dave groan in response; he felt his little body shaking above him, his breath coming ragged and heavy. He slid all the way in and held still. "You can move," Bro said. "I've still done this before." Dave snorted. "Well I haven't. Just gimmie a minute," he managed to squeak out. Bro opened his eyes and looked at Dave's flushed face. His eyes were barely open, his lips slightly parted. His entire face was completely drowning in pleasure, his ears flaming red, and Bro realized that Dave was as overcome by it all as he was. Whatever crazy boat they were in, they were in the same one. And Bro realized that Dave had always known this. And loved it. Dave moved. Both of them made breathless gasps as he slowly slid out, and then back in. Dave's eyes rolled back in his head, and he slid out faster, to move back in faster, and it wasn't long before he was thrusting, breathing hard, nostrils flared as he tried to get enough air. "Oh, God," he said, and Bro agreed as he felt him siding in and out, forceful, but not rough, strong, but not harsh. Bro opened his eyes and watched him, his gaze glued to his face, a face he knew, a face he cared about. That feeling was back, that elusive yet persistent thing that always bugged him because he hadn't known what the hell to call it; the way he felt about Dave, and now that Dave had named it for him, he wanted to laugh at himself. He reached up with his hand and touched that face; the face of his brother. Bro had a ridiculous amount of sexual experience. He was pretty sure there was just about nothing he hadn't done; he'd tried every position, with every gender, in about every situation a person could think of. He knew the names of all kinds of sexual practices; he'd used probably every toy they'd made; hell, he'd invented a few. He'd been so certain that he'd done it all, tried it all, seen it all, and fucked it all, that he'd never have another thing he'd be new at, ever again. But he'd been completely, totally wrong. For the first time in Bro's life, he was making love. It absolutely didn't matter that Dave was shaking so hard his teeth rattled. It didn't matter that he was so small, that he wasn't sliding in very deep, that he kept wearing himself out and pausing to catch his breath. It mattered that when Bro looked at his face, his heart sang with life. It mattered that when Dave lifted his eyes to look at him, he saw him. He knew him. Bro lifted his hand to Dave's cheek, and Dave rested his face in it. "You can go harder," Bro said softly. "I'm good." He'd meant to say that other thing. The thing Dave had said. But Dave was fucking right when he'd said Bro couldn't say it. Dave looked down at him with it written all over his face that he knew anyway. Bro reached up and grabbed Dave's hips and thrust back. Both of them cried out at the force of it, and Bro did it again, and then Dave stopped holding back and matched his rhythm, slamming into him. Bro raised his hips to make it easier for him and then Dave was able to get the angle. Pleasure electrified Bro's nerves and he arched his back. "Oh, God!" he cried. "Dave, fuck me!" Dave moaned in return and obliged, slamming into him over and over, hitting his sweet spot repeatedly, and Bro was overwhelmed with heat. He could see Dave eying his dick, wanting to touch it, but he needed both hands to keep it up. "Don't worry about it," Bro said. "Don't you stop fucking me." "Wasn't going to," Dave said through his heavy breaths, and Bro threw his head back and let the pleasure tear from his throat in the loudest moans he'd ever made, until he was screaming incoherent "Daves" and "yeses", over and over, and then Dave screamed in return, his eyes flying open wide as he came. "Yes...oh, yes..." Bro whispered, watching his face, lost in the fact that Dave felt so much pleasure, just because of him, because of Bro... Dave was barely down from his high when he immediately reached for Bro's dick, wrapping his fingers around it and pulling. Bro groaned and bucked his hips. Dave was still inside him, still hard, and he pumped him exactly the way Bro loved it. He knew how; he knew what Bro liked and then he was overcome. It all sprang through him in a rush, hot white cum shooting over his chest, his eyes rolled back in his head, his body on fire, his heart singing with life. He collapsed with total exhaustion, and Dave fell on top of him. Bro wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly, waiting for the after-orgasm crash, but it never came. Instead he felt incredibly warm and joyful, sweet and tender. He kissed Dave's cheek, his forehead, his ear, his neck, he couldn't stop kissing him, sweet, tender kisses, as he experienced his first after glow. Dave pressed his lips down over Bro's and they kissed for a long while, until Dave could no longer hold himself up and he melted on top of him. "Wow," he said, as Bro gently stroked his hair. "Yeah," he said. Dave lifted his head to gaze into his face, and smiled. "Feels good, doesn't it?" he said, and Bro laughed and ruffled his hair. "Dammit, kid." he said. Yes, it feels fucking good. ***** Chapter 19 ***** They lay together for a long time. Dave dozed off on Bro's chest, and Bro watched his body rise and fall with Bro's breaths as he kept his arms wrapped around him. Bro gazed at him with a feeling of total contentment. He couldn't possibly feel guilty this time; he hadn't taken anything. Dave had fucked him. Dave had fucked him. Bro stared in total amazement. He felt such strange things; good things, sweet things. Things he'd never felt before. Though he'd spent a great part of his life being sought after by nearly everybody who came his way, for the first time in Bro's life, he felt wanted. Dave didn't want him because he was cool, or incredibly sexy, or an amazing beat mixer. No, Dave wanted him because he loved him. Bro's eyes pricked and grew warm and he blinked them to keep them dry. Because he loved him. No one had ever said that to him before. Bro's eyes traced over Dave's naked body, and he didn't see a little kid anymore. He had some damn fine muscle tone, blond hair on his legs, on his arms, on his chest. For a moment Bro didn't see a kid at all; he saw instead the fine man Dave was on his way to turning into, and he felt a mix of parently pride and lover's attraction that was extremely weird, but not altogether unpleasant. Dave stirred. He turned onto his stomach and raised his head to look at Bro. "The fuck are you thinking about so hard?" Dave said. Bro shrugged. "Serious shit." Dave rolled his eyes. "Out with it." Bro sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Everything was flipped completely turn- ways, now. Bro felt completely vulnerable and weak, while Dave was strong and mature. He wondered if that was how being in love was supposed to make you feel. He didn't know. "I was jealous of John," he managed, which was at least the truth, if still dodging what he was really thinking. Bro didn't think he was capable of ever saying what he was really thinking. He looked up into Dave's face and saw that Dave knew that. Dave understood him. "I know," Dave said. He paused for a moment, trying to decide if he should admit the next thing he was going to say. He raised his gaze and looked Bro directly in his eyes when he said the next thing. "I've been jealous of every lucky asshole who's gotten laid by you for I don't even know how fucking long." Holy shit. He watched Dave blush. "I used to think I was jealous of you, getting lucky every night..." he swallowed and closed his eyes. Bro reached up his hand and put his palm against Dave's cheek. This was it. It was now. He wasn't going to chicken out; he wasn't going to back down because this was uncool. He was going to say this thing. He looked into Dave's eyes. "There aren't going to be any lays besides you, for as long as you want it." Bro tried to swallow his nerves. He'd just committed to monogamy. The scariest part was he knew that he meant it. He didn't even fucking want anyone else. He barely recognized himself. Dave's reply was to kiss him, heavy and hard. Bro wrapped his arms around his back and held him close until they ran out of breath. Dave pulled back, panting, cheeks flushed. Then he shifted in a way that made them both suddenly aware of the gooey mess between their chests. "I think I'm gonna shower, now," he said. Bro nodded. Dave got up, and Bro just lay there, watching him as he moved across the room and vanished into the hallway. He slowly let it sink into his mind what he'd just done. And that fact that he didn't feel sick, or guilty, or even afraid. It felt right. He was fucking in love with his little brother, and it felt right. Damn. ***** Chapter 20 ***** They both took showers, then had dinner, then settled on the couch to watch TV, and everything was normal. Normal being Dave snuggled into Bro's chest as he lay sprawled out on the couch, both of them in boxers and T-shirts for bed, Bro stroking his hair and kissing the top of his head repeatedly. Around midnight, Bro caught Dave starting to doze off and he shook him awake. "Come on, dude. It's a school night." "Fuck, I'm comfortable." "I can easily make you uncomfortable." Dave groaned in protest, but rose to his feet. Bro followed him and walked down the hall, heading towards his room. "Where the fuck are you going?" Dave asked, stopping at his own door. "To bed." "The hell we're sleeping in your bed. It smells like two sweaty guys had sex in it." Bro couldn't help it. He laughed. Not just a chuckle, but an actual, real laugh. He turned and walked back to Dave's room and for the first time, the two of them admittedly slept in the same bed together, on purpose. After the lights were off, Dave snuggled his cute ass up against Bro's pelvis, and he slid an arm around Dave's waist, holding him close. "You know," he said softly, his lips brushing against Dave's ear in the darkness, "I've never slept with anybody as many times as I have with you..." he stopped, because it sounded stupid and hollow and condescending when he actually said it out loud. "I love you, too, Bro." Dave mumbled, and all Bro could do was hold him tighter, as if he let go he'd disappear into the darkness, vanishing and taking the sliver of Bro's heart that was left with him. ***** Chapter 21 ***** In the morning they just went through their routines; shower, brush teeth, get dressed, breakfast (Oreos and Pepsi), go to school, go to work. When Bro got home, Dave gave him a delicious smirk and before he even took a shower Bro was crushing him into the couch, tearing both of their shirts off. They were both seriously hard and Bro was sucking on Dave's nipple when the doorbell rang. They both looked at each other with confusion and panic. "Shit, it's Friday. Mrs. Johansen," Dave said. They both scrambled in a hurry to get dressed, zipping up jeans and throwing on shirts and shades. The doorbell rang a second time. Bro walked over to it, as cool as always. Dave plopped on the couch as if nothing unusual had happened, the last pink glow in his cheeks fading as Bro opened the door. "Sup," Bro said. "Hello, Bro. How's Davey doing this week?" "Horrible. He's been a terrible brat. I dunno what to do with him." Dave rolled his eyes as he heard the poor old lady gasp. He gave Bro the finger while her vision was still blocked by the door, and Bro smirked in his direction. She was a little more stern with him during math lessons, and it didn't help that Bro kept wandering into the kitchen to lean over his shoulder. "Can you ff...buzz off?" Dave spat at one point, and Bro had to hide his snicker at Dave trying to censor himself and failing miserably. "Davey! That's no way to talk to your elders!" she said. "We should perhaps pause math lessons and work on your attitude, buster." Bro gave Dave a wink as he walked out, sipping a beer. Dave glared at him, but there was the hint of a smirk behind that glare, because now Dave knew what all of Bro's incessant teasing and unwanted attention meant. He was flirting with him. And Dave was loving it. ***** Chapter 22 ***** "Real mature, douchebag, making me look like an ass." Bro shrugged. "S'my job, gotta help you learn how to dodge attacks. You failed." Dave was on him in two seconds and then for a moment they were just wrestling like bros. "Hey, don't mess up the hair, I have a gig tonight." Dave immediately went for Bro's hair, which forced Bro to flip him over and use his weight to pin him to the couch. Then he leaned down and kissed his neck. "Fuuuck..." Dave moaned as all the fight went out of him, and Bro smiled. "Stay here," he said, and he got up and went to his room, actually feeling excited about the thing he'd bought for Dave that afternoon. He grabbed it and walked back into the living room, still nervous but entirely sure that yes, he wanted to do this. He tossed the red dress shirt onto Dave's stomach nonchalantly. "Get dressed, you're coming with me." Dave stared at the thing, speechless for a few seconds, before he flew to his knees in excitement. "Seriously?" his voice actually cracked. Bro snorted. "Not if you act like that," Bro retorted, and Dave rolled his eyes. "Hurry up, get going," Bro directed, and Dave's demeanor was already much cooler as he walked down the hall with a calm swagger. Bro finished carrying his gear out to the car, not a single twitch on his steady face giving away how excited he felt. When he came back in, Dave was stepping out of his room wearing his new red shirt and black slacks, and Bro didn't have to hide that he was staring at him. "Fucking hot," he said, and Dave blushed. Bro smirked. "Let's go." They got in the car and Dave acted perfectly calm. There wasn't a single hint of emotion on his face, he didn't fidget or twitch or do anything but lean with a proper slouch in the seat. Bro was having a hard time keeping the pride from shining through on his face. Bro had called the club owners earlier that day to tell (not ask) them he'd be bringing his kid with him. He knew they were smart enough not to argue; he was the reason they had a full house all weekend and they knew it. So nobody batted an eye when he walked in the place, little Strider in tow, perfect copy of himself helping him carry in his equipment. He caught Dave glancing out at the dance floor from up on the stage a few times, but he didn't rag on him for it. They set up Bro's gear in perfect silence, working together as if they'd done this all their lives...which of course, they had. Quite a few times their hands brushed against each other, but neither brother reacted outwardly at all, and Bro's pride swelled even further. His heart was practically glowing. By the time they were set up and had run a few sound tests, Bro found himself falling into the regular excited haze that always surrounded him when he was about to jam. Having Dave next to him was an extra spark of intensity that he was reveling in. The lights dimmed and Bro turned up the amps, the familiar hum singing through his body and lighting him up with electricity. He put on the first record and the music sang out onto the floor, and the first few over- enthused clubbers were out. For a while, Dave just watched him, and Bro was aware of nothing but the music and his gaze as the fog of the beats surrounded him and made his thoughts incoherent and unimportant. He became lost to the feeling, he let the music and beats take him where they would, and all he could feel was Dave. He knew his cheeks and ears were flushed, but the club was hot so it was a perfect excuse. But after a while, when he had gotten his fill of showing off, he glanced over at Dave and nodded his head in his direction. Dave looked at him with disbelief at first, and Bro raised his eyebrow impatiently. Dave rose off of the stool he'd been sitting on and went to stand by Bro's side, and Bro offered him the tables, and Dave took them. Bro stood to the side and crossed his arms as Dave's fingers alighted on the records. He made a few tentative scratches, in perfect timing with the beats. He looked out at the dancers, but most of them were too engrossed in their own partying to notice, or care, that anything had changed. Dave spent a good minute or two warming up, testing the situation out. Then he changed a few toggles, producing a new sound all his own; a little faster, a little higher. The energy surged through him and Bro watched him start to fly. His fingers scratched those records to a perfect beat, from synchronized to syncopated rhythms, the sounds mixing together in ways that made Bro nod his head and the clubbers lose themselves to the music as Dave rocked the house. The waitress came by and offered them both beers, but when Dave reached for one Bro grabbed his hand and raised his eyebrow. To Dave's credit, he didn't pout or whine or sulk, but only shrugged and took it like a man when Bro ordered a soda "for the little dude." The waitress just looked at Dave and winked, then walked off, and Bro resisted both the urge to ruffle his hair and to kiss him. He could do both later. The night jammed on and they both took turns, the clubbers dancing to the beat of both Striders as the club owners stood in the back and nodded their heads with approval. When it came down to the last hour Bro could see Dave growing tired; pumped an energized as they were, it was still approaching three a.m. So Bro stepped up beside him, taking on of the tables from him, and then the two of them jammed together, their rhythms and beats melding together in perfect synchrony, their heads bobbing to the simultaneous flow, and for just a moment they glanced at each other and Bro felt just how damn in love he really was. They finished with a kick-ass grand finale, and then it was over. The music stopped and the patrons started to leave, a couple of them lingering here or there, a couple of them coming Bro's way. One girl, braver than the rest, left her group of giggling friends to walk up the stairs to the stage and completely obviously walk directly towards Bro. "That's some pretty awesome music you got going, DJ," she said, giggling a little as she played with her perfectly straight brown hair. In another life, Bro would have found her incredibly hot. But now, he didn't even look up from his equipment as he concentrated on rolling up his wires. "No shit," he said. Unphased and more than slightly drunk, she slid up closer to him, her perky breasts nearly popping out of her tight, hot-pink tube top. "So, what's a cool guy like you doing after an awesome party like this?" Bro shrugged. "Going home," he said, his face not cracking in the slightest. She batted her eyes, and Bro caught a glimpse of Dave watching the situation out of the corner of his eye. "That sounds pretty boring. I'll bet I could give you something a little spicier," she said. "Why don't you put the little tyke to bed, and then you and me can spend the rest of the night away?" Bro didn't even bother to stop what he was doing. "Sorry. What I meant to say was, 'going home to put my little bro to bed and then fuck my incredibly hot lover until the sun comes up.'" She faltered then, as Bro clicked the case on his soundboard closed. "Well...is she the type of girl who minds sharing?" He had to give her credit for not backing down, at least. Bro set the case near Dave, who picked it up and started to carry it outside. The girl followed him so that when he turned around, she was right there. "Yeah, he is. Completely jealous type." Bro stated flatly. Her face turned pale at the mention of the word 'he'. Bro stood, perfectly impassively, and waited as she took a step back. "Oh. Oh...oh, I'm sorry. I'm....I have to go." It was everything he could do not to smile as he heard Dave's snicker behind him, and he watched her tight, leather-covered ass waggle away, surprised at how uninterested in it he was. When they were making their last trip out, the waitress came by and gave Bro a kiss on the cheek. "Awesome show tonight, Bro," she said. She then walked over to Dave and pinched his cheek. "And you too, little guy." She turned her blue eyes back over to Bro, and he looked away, which was a mistake, because then Dave knew he'd been with her. And for some reason, this made him feel guilty. "He's so cute, Bro. Spitting image of you," she said. "Is he coming back next week?" "Hell yes," Bro said, his impassive shades gazing at her with impunity. She smiled, but it was clearly fake, not hiding her disappointment whatsoever. "Are you free later, then?" Bro shook his head. "No. Gotta put my little partner to bed," he said, ruffling Dave's hair. Dave didn't move a muscle of his face. "Aw, that's a shame. I didn't even know you had a kid, actually. Did your sitter back out on you, or something?" Bro snorted. "Nah. He's old enough." Bro watched her face contort in a few hundred ways as she tried to figure out whether the hell he was shooting her down or not. "Then what..." "I'm with somebody." Her words caught in her throat in mid-formation. She flapped her mouth closed. "Oh. Oh! Wow. Never thought you to be the type, Bro." He shrugged. "Have a good night, Janet," he added, and then he brushed past her, and Dave followed him silently out the door, and when they got into the car, Dave burst out laughing. He snickered the entire ride home. ***** Chapter 23 ***** Bro woke up early, before the alarm clock went off. He opened his eyes to see Dave sleeping next to him, in his bed, blond hair somehow perfect even after a full night's sleep. No matter how many times they slept together it did nothing to lessen how much he fucking liked having Dave with him, though the weirdness of it had faded almost to nothing, now. He resisted the urge to stroke Dave's hair. The kid could sleep for a couple more minutes. He got out of bed as quietly as he could and walked out into the hall wearing only his boxers. He never wore his shades in the apartment anymore. Neither did Dave. They didn't need them. He was sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast (Entenmann's crumb cake) when Dave walked in, yawning. He stood behind Bro and draped his arms over his shoulders, planting a kiss on his neck. "Coulda left me a piece, asshole." he said sleepily. Bro snorted. "It's not my fault you ate half the damn thing yesterday." Dave stood up and flicked Bro's ear. "It's like you're looking for an ass-kicking," Bro retorted. Dave opened the fridge, shuffling some swords around and throwing a smuppet in Bro's general direction before pulling out a half-eaten pizza from yesterday. Bro caught the smuppet and tossed it back at Dave, hitting him squarely on the ass. Dave reached behind his back and flicked Bro a middle finger without turning to look at him, as he pulled out a paper plate and tossed a slice in the microwave. "Egbert's dad called me yesterday," Bro said. "Said something about some field trip for your biology class today." Dave snorted as he plopped into the chair across from Bro. "Yeah, some museum we're being dragged to." "Woulda been nice if you'd have told me about it." Dave shrugged. "Whatever. Not like I'm going. I never remember shit like getting permission slips signed." Bro smirked. "No problem, I can sign it when we get there." Dave stopped in mid-chew and nearly spit out his bite of pizza. "The hell?" "I'm chaperoning." "Fuck no." Bro smirked. "What, afraid I'll embarrass you with my ultimate coolness?" Dave rolled his eyes. "Since when do you give a fuck about being so parently?" Bro shrugged. "Since I became such a major fail at other parts of parenting, I might as well over do it somewhere else." Dave sighed. "You're going to embarrass the fuck out of me, aren't you?" "Damn straight." Bro grinned mischievously as Dave tried his best to look annoyed, but it was impossible for him to hide from his face that he was actually happy about this situation. He got ready for school in record time and was standing impatiently by the front door for awhile before Bro was finished. Instead of making him take the bus Bro drove him to school, and Dave sat with one leg bouncing up and down repeatedly for the entire ride. "Don't get so over excited you wet your pants," Bro said. "Shut up. This rocks." Bro tried with all he had, but he could not keep the smile from creeping onto his face. He couldn't stop it. Being this close to Dave- crossing that line they were never supposed to cross- did something to him. It made it impossible for him to keep his emotions in check. It made him want to do things that made Dave happy. It made him horribly uncool, and it made him not give a shit. Bro parked the car in the school lot and wanted to kiss Dave right then- but hell if he was that stupid. Instead he reached over and grabbed his hand and gave it a good squeeze before they got out of the car. The moment they were out in the lot, both of their faces became the impassive stone they were used to. They were in public now and whatever went on behind closed doors became pushed to the back of their minds, because it had to be. Bro watched Dave saunter over to his friends and nod his head slightly as a greeting, even as Jade and John ran over bounding with hugs and their mouths yammering away. Dave slipped casually up next to Rose and slid his arm around her waist just like he did every day, and she in turn leaned her head on his shoulder, and Bro couldn't help but be impressed at their damn good show. He noticed a shy, very pretty girl dressed in fashionable clothes slink up next to Rose and begin speaking softly to her, and he guessed that was her girlfriend. Bro was completely engrossed in watching Dave. The way he stood, the way he held his shoulders, the way he tilted his head in response to the kids around him. It occurred to Bro slowly that he barely even knew the names of half the kids Dave spoke to. Up until now, Bro had barely been part of Dave's life, and Dave had barely been a part of his, and that had been fine with him. But now, he wanted to be. He wanted to know who Dave's friends were. He wanted to know what Dave's dreams were, what he thought about, what he felt. He didn't know whether that was good or not. "Mr. Strider, it's pleasant seeing you here." The voice was annoyingly familiar. Bro turned to his side to see Mr. Egbert, extending a hand towards him for a shake. Bro nodded in his direction, not bothering to uncross his arms. "Sup, dude." Mr. Egbert was unperturbed, just like he was always unperturbed. He lowered his hand and smiled a greeting. "When I spoke to you yesterday, you hardly seemed interested in coming on the boys' field trip." Bro shrugged. "It was either this or another boring day of work." John's dad smiled as if Bro had said something far more sappy, and Bro frowned. It occurred to him that he was not going to be able to hide his new interest in Dave's life. He might, possibly, have to change some things about himself, about his image. Or maybe he already had. It was hard to tell. For the bus ride to the museum, Dave sat in the back of the bus with earbuds crammed in his ears, his head bobbing slightly to whatever he was listening to as he ignored everyone around him. Bro was stuck in the front seat next to Mr. Egbert and blatantly ignored him while he read the museum's brochure, yammering about the exhibits of ancient rocks, or whatever. When they got there, the teacher asked Bro to watch a group of kids. Bro shrugged and nodded and then lazily followed the class from behind, just making sure they didn't leave any stragglers. He couldn't stop his eyes from wandering to Dave, over and over; watching Dave's apparent boredom, his pretend interest in holding Rose's hand, or the fact that he wasn't really able to mask his amazement at the dinosaur bones. Bro watched him as he glanced over at John and Vriska as she wrapped her arms possessively around John's waist and nibbled on his neck. Bro watched Dave's face as he stared at them, and then turned to glance behind him, directly at Bro, an expression of longing. A wave of guilt swept up and surrounded Bro as he realized what it was Dave wanted, a public display of their affection, and it was a thing he could never give him. Rose glanced at where Dave was looking. Her eyes met Bro's for just a moment, and she whispered something in Dave's ear. He turned his gaze away from Bro again, and the two Striders went on pretending not to be interested in everything around them, especially not in each other. For the rest of the trip, Bro's desire to be near to Dave only grew stronger. He wanted to hold his hand. He wanted to hold him close, to sit next to him when they watched some movie thing, to mess up his hair as he sat and ate lunch. Instead he kept his distance; he stayed as far away and appeared as uninterested as he possibly could, because no one could ever know how they truly felt, or they would lose fucking everything. And dammit, that wasn't going to happen. The day finally ended. They got back to the school, and the teacher tried to go over some recap of the trip, while nobody paid much attention to him. The kids all talked and shouted at each other; John and Vriska talking excitedly about some ancient spider thing, Jade and some girl wearing a kitten-shaped hat squealing excitedly about saber-toothed tigers, Rose and her girlfriend whispering to each other, and Dave was alone. The bell rang and everybody sprang into chaos. Dave gave Rose a perfectly believable peck on the cheek, and they went their separate ways. John bounded over to his father and hugged him tightly, while he talked at a ridiculous speed as if his father hadn't been there and seen it all himself. Bro found himself even jealous of that, suddenly, because it was one more thing they could not have, as they needed to hide their secret so carefully. Dave walked nonchalantly over to Bro and Bro turned to fall into step beside him. Neither said a word as they walked towards the car, not touching each other, not speaking to each other, not looking at each other. They got in and Bro turned the car on. He pulled out of the lot and onto the road. "Damn, that was hard," Dave said, leaning his head back against the seat. Bro reached out with one hand and stroked Dave's cheek. Dave leaned his face into it and closed his eyes. Bro slid his hand up to the top of Dave's head and stroked his hair, as he had been dying to do all day, and it felt amazing, and he couldn't stop. "I can't even apologize for us being fucked up like this," he said. "It's too damn hot." Dave shrugged. "It's how we want it," he said plainly. Bro nodded slowly, feeling the strength behind what Dave said, knowing the truth of it. When they got home Bro made Dave do his homework while he went out and got McDonald's for dinner. They ate and then relaxed on the couch for a while, though Bro paid no attention to the TV. The events of the day weighed heavily on his mind as his thoughts turned over in his head and he stroked Dave's stomach, their legs entangled together. It still felt amazingly good to hold him. He had thought that after a while, the feeling would wear off. But after all these weeks, it still didn't. He was beginning to think that possibly, it wouldn't. "Hey," Bro whispered softly. Dave turned his head slightly to look at Bro with one eye. "You alright with how things went down today?" Dave shrugged. "Sure." Bro closed his eyes and tried to gather the courage to say what he was really thinking. "You don't wish we were normal, like John and his dad?" Instead of replying, Dave turned around and nuzzled his lips against Bro's neck, kissing him slowly up towards his ear. Bro wrapped his arms tighter around him and moaned softly, unable to stop him. "The fuck we're giving this shit up," Dave said softly, moving down to kiss Bro's lips. Bro raised his palm to press against the back of Dave's head as he ran his tongue over his lips, still intoxicated by his taste, no matter how many times he kissed him. Dave wriggled himself closer and Bro rose over him, his heart and ears pounding with want as he ran his tongue down Dave's neck, and Dave moaned. "Fuck, yes," Dave whispered, closing his eyes. Bro sealed his lips into the crook of Dave's neck and sucked. Dave groaned and lifted his hips towards Bro, rutting against him, and Bro felt the heat rush through him. "No, I don't want you to be like a fucking Egbert," Dave said, raising his eyes to look directly into Bro's face. "I want you to love me like a damn Strider and fuck my brains out." For whatever reason, that sentence dissolved the last bit of Bro's resistance and uncertainty, and he fully let go of everything he'd been holding back. He let his entire self fall completely into Dave, without reservation, no longer afraid that he now had everything to lose. He kissed him heavily, his tongue deep in his mouth, his fingers tangled tightly in his hair. ***** Chapter 24 ***** Weeks turned into months. Dave actually managed to pull his grades up and squeak by seventh grade math with a C-. The school year ended and the summer came hot and heavy. They took to sleeping in Bro's room every night since he had an air conditioner, though the old thing couldn't keep them from sweating in the heat of passion. Just as with their sword fights, Dave had half the endurance of Bro and he usually fell asleep afterwards, completely worn out. Bro loved to hold him in the dark, his arms wrapped around his bare back as he snuggled his face into Bro's chest. On this particular night, Bro lay awake for a very long time afterwards, periodically planting kisses on the top of Dave's head, wallowing in the glow that he still felt after they made love. He felt like a completely different person from who he used to be. He'd always wanted to give everything he had to Dave, but now Dave knew it, and he stopped trying so hard to hide it. Dave came with him to the club often, now. People started to recognize him as Bro's little brother, and Bro stopped performing as himself and started listing them as the Strider Brothers. Dave had a different style from his, something all his own, and he'd gotten some pretty sweet compliments quite a few times. Bro now struggled with all his might to keep a straight face when Dave rocked the house, because what he really wanted to do was stare with glowing pride. Bro traced his fingers over Dave's shoulder and down his arm, and Dave twitched subconsciously at the tickling sensation. Bro smiled, a thing he was doing more and more. He still had a hell of a time annoying the fuck out of Dave; and the best part was how Dave still threw it right back at him. "Turn over," Bro had said. "What the hell for?" Dave shot at him as he looked up at him with his beautiful red eyes, his bare chest rising and falling heavily, his cheeks flushed with lust. "Just do it." Dave snorted. "Hell no, not if you ask like that. Where's your southern hospitality? Say please." Bro rolled his eyes. "Can you even remember the last time you used that word?" Dave nodded. "Yep. This morning. Told you to please fuck off because I was on the phone." Bro reached down and attacked Dave's stomach with tickles. Dave involuntarily curled into a ball for defense and then Bro easily rolled him over onto his stomach and crushed him to the bed. "Still so easy to beat you," he said into Dave's ear, which flushed deep red as Dave's breaths came more heavily. "Fuck you," Dave said. "Later," Bro replied, sliding himself down so he was between Dave's legs. "Now gimme that ass." Dave pulled his knees up to his stomach and lifted his ass in the air eagerly, and Bro smiled with triumph as he lowered his tongue to it and Dave started to moan. After he'd gotten Dave worked up into a helpless puddle, Bro rose up to his knees and rolled on a condom, and then came the question. "Do we really have to use those?" Dave's voice had been soft and gentle, the way it became only when he was very hot and completely ready. Bro didn't even pause. "I've fucked half of Texas. Hell yes, we're using these." "But you haven't been with anyone else in forever..." "This isn't up for discussion." He hadn't meant it to come out quite so harshly, and normally it wouldn't matter anyway. But Dave was at his most vulnerable at that exact moment, and Bro saw the hurt on his face. "Hey, come on, you know why. Like I could live with myself if I exposed you to anything." Dave had shut his eyes very tightly for just a moment. Then Bro saw him set his jaw, nod, and open them. "Love you too, Bro," he whispered, and Bro stroked his skin; his back, his sides, his ass, and he started to relax again. The rest of the night had been as amazing as the rest of them, and Bro was pretty sure Dave had forgotten about the conversation. But Bro hadn't. Dave's question had hung in his mind for weeks. The thought wouldn't leave him, and he wasn't really sure why. Eventually he figured it came down to guilt. Dave had given him everything. His first kiss, his first orgasm, his virginity; and what Bro gave him in return felt like so little compared to that. Yeah, Dave had him now, but before that Bro had belonged to the world. Even now, Dave was still just a drop in the bucket of memories Bro had of having sex, while Bro was all Dave knew, and it didn't seem right, and he didn't know how to fix it, until Dave had asked him that question. "Mr. Strider," the nurse had called out. Bro rose impassively to his feet and followed her down the white tiled hallway to a little room with a chair bolted to the wall. "And what are we testing you for?" she asked. "Everything. Just do 'em all." She nodded and started making marks on her chart. Then she left, and later a different chick came in. She stuck him, drew his blood, made him pee in a cup, and he went home and tried to forget about it. The thought that he should have done this much sooner kept nagging at him, but he kept reminding himself that he'd never been stupid in this department. He'd always known he had to keep himself healthy. Dave needed him and he had to be there, because fuck if Dave would ever be in the foster system. Now, as Bro lay in the dark and stroked his hair, Bro's mind kept wandering to all the close calls they'd had. The hickeys he'd given Dave when he was drunk; John accidentally saying something to Dave on the phone while his dad overheard him; Dave's gym teacher noticing him limping after one particularly wild night. They'd dodged them all with the fluid finesse that belonged to the Strider name, leaving everyone completely doubtless about the innocence of their situation, and everything was fine. For now. Dave stirred. Bro looked down at him in the darkness and Dave raised his head groggily. "You still wake?" he mumbled, gazing wearily into Bro's wide-awake face. "Don't worry about it. Go back to sleep." Dave yawned and pulled his face up to Bro's. "Don't make me beat it out of you." Bro snorted. "I'd like to see you try." Dave rolled his eyes. "Out with it." Bro sighed. Living with a person who could read his impassive faces was sometimes fucking annoying. "Just thinking about all the lying shit we have to do." Dave nodded in agreement, yawned, and nestled his head back into the crook of Bro's neck. "Not forever, just till I'm eighteen..." he mumbled sleepily. But Bro was suddenly wide, wide awake. Until he was eighteen. Dave thought they'd still be fucking around five years from now? Bro shook his head. No. No fucking way. This thing was temporary. It was okay because it was temporary, because Dave was going to go out and learn about the world, try stuff out with kids his own age, learn shit the normal way and figure out who he was as he grew up. No fucking way was Bro going to rob him of that. No way in hell. Dave had felt him shake his head. "Don't care what you think, Bro. I don't want anyone else." Dave said without even raising his head, and Bro sighed. Of course he thought that right now. He was young, Bro was his first, and he thought this would last forever, just like everyone thought about their first. Yes, that's all it was; Dave was just being naïve like anyone else, and Bro knew better, and when Dave fell in love with some kid his own age at sixteen or whatever, Bro would be happy for him and let him go. Yeah, right. ***** Chapter 25 ***** The phone call finally came, and Bro spent the rest of his shift that day in silent impatience, too practiced to let it show in his actions whatsoever but his mind was still forcing him to glance at the clock far too frequently. When he finally got home at five-thirty, he found his living room holding the presence of John Egbert as the boys lounged on the couch, lazily staring at the TV in full summer vacation mode. Bro didn’t care. He walked in the door, went straight to Dave and leaned down to plant a heavy, tongue-filled kiss onto his lips. Dave inhaled with surprise and then a second later moaned softly, and Bro heard a squeak of shock out of John that was so high-pitched it bordered on the inhuman. Bro pulled back and stared into the blackness of Dave’s shades for just a second too long, until he was sure his message had been clear, and left and headed for the shower. John’s mouth hung open as wide as his eyes. Dave turned to him completely unperturbed. “I think you should probably go home,” Dave said, and John nodded silently, taking a few minutes to recover before he was able to move and gather his stuff. Slightly annoyed at Bro’s rudeness, Dave barged in on him in the bathroom and stared at the shower door with crossed arms. “I’ve already told you we’re just bros, you don’t have to chase John off like he’s a pest in your way…” Bro slid the shower door open, the steam fogging up Dave’s shades so he had to take them off to see. Which he wanted to do, as Bro watched his eyes trace over Bro’s body, down from his muscular shoulders and prominent collar bone, across his firm pecs and down over his toned abs, to rest on his dick, which Dave immediately noticed was halfway hard. “Care to join me?” Bro asked, and then Dave’s lips parted as his arms uncrossed and a barely audible squeak left his throat. This was a new one. Bro decided to encourage him by letting his own eyes trace over Dave’s body, and then the younger Strider was nodding fervently and reaching down to pull his t-shirt over his head. Bro watched with pleasure as Dave undressed himself, kicking off his shoes and tearing off his socks, then dropping his shorts to the floor and lastly pulling his black boxers with red hearts down to his ankles. He turned around and stepped unabashedly towards Bro, who moved back into the shower to let Dave in. He shut the door as the hot water poured over his shoulders and he pulled Dave close to him, pressing their chests together as the water ran down over both of their forms. ***** Chapter 26 ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes Bro stood so that the water pounded against his shoulderblades, protecting Dave from the direct onslaught as he leaned down and kissed his lips. Dave tilted his face up toward him and returned the kiss, his palms pressed against Bro's bare chest as Bro held Dave close, his arms wrapped around his back, and Dave raised his arms to do the same, helping him hold them together. Dave's kisses were familiar, now. He was sure of himself, he was sure of Bro, and they knew each other well. Yet that never seemed to dampen the hotness of it; no matter how many times he kissed Dave it was still fucking sexy, especially when he moaned directly into Bro's mouth, sending vibrations down his throat. Bro lifted one hand and tangled it in Dave's hair as he shoved his tongue into his mouth. Dave groaned and Bro pressed them together, Bro's erection squeezed between their stomachs, Dave's pushed up against Bro's balls. He pulled back and looked down into his gorgeous red eyes, hiding none of the emotion from his face, showing Dave just how much he enjoyed his company. Dave's half-closed eyes sent him the same message, and Bro smiled in a fairly seductive way before he turned them so that Dave was in the water. Dave lowered his arms to his sides as Bro raised his hands to Dave's hair. He stroked it, running the water through it, as Dave closed his eyes. Bro moved his fingers slowly, running them over Dave's scalp, until his hair started to tangle. He then gently pulled Dave forward so that his head was out of the water, and reached for the shampoo. Lathering Dave's hair brought a thousand memories back to him of washing Dave as a baby. The way Dave used to giggle when Bro would give him a mohawk with the shampoo and then show it to him in the mirror. The way Dave used to squirm when it was time to rinse, because he had gotten soap in his eye once and had been afraid of that for awhile. Bro had been completely different, then; barely twenty years old, completely inexperienced and self-absorbed. He did not appreciate who Dave was, back then. He hadn't valued what he had. As Bro let his eyes trace over Dave's face now, eyes closed, expression completely relaxed and trusting, he knew he wasn't wasting it now. Dave was, without a doubt, the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he was never going to overlook that again. He finished lathering Dave's gorgeous blond hair, and traced his fingers and palms down the back of his neck and over his shoulders, spreading the soap. He then reached for the body wash and lathered it onto his hands, and proceeded to glide his palms over every square inch of Dave's naked body. He traced over his left shoulder and down his arm, surrounding it with both palms, washing his hand, getting between his fingers. Dave remained perfectly relaxed, a smile of pleasure on his face, and as Bro's hands moved back up his arm Dave raised it above his head, just like he had done a thousand times when he was very little. Bro found his eyes tearing up as he washed Dave's underarms, and then stroked his hands down his chest, teasing his nipples until he was fully hard, then running his palms over his lover's stomach. He hadn't appreciated him enough. Oh, God, he had almost lost him in his frantic bout of sleeping with every person in the city; and Bro now felt completely lucky to have gotten away from that without any serious consequences. "Rinse," Bro said softly, his voice full of more breath than he'd expected, and he saw Dave's lips upturn in a smirk as he stepped back into the water. He looked absolutely delicious as he lifted his hands to his hair and rinsed the shampoo out, his beautiful eyes closed, his sexy face relaxed and in bliss. When he stepped forward again, Bro was already prepared with lather spread all over his hands. "Turn around," he said softly, and Dave gave him a look that made him weak in the knees as he obeyed. Bro began with his shoulders, spreading the soap down over his back, sliding his hands over Dave's waist and then his ass. Bro slid the side of his hand down between the heat of Dave's cheeks as Dave inhaled. Bro slowly washed him, reaching his hand between Dave's legs to glide over his balls as Dave's breaths came faster. Bro then slid his hands around and over his hips, across his abdomen and then down to his dick. Dave whimpered softly when he took it between both palms, and he leaned forward, pressing his smaller hands against the tiled wall to keep his balance. Bro stroked him slowly, using both hands, not giving too much pressure nor too much speed. He slid one hand down to massage Dave's balls as he pressed his chest against his back, Dave's ass pushing against the top of Bro's thighs, Bro's dick coming to rest just above Dave's ass. He stroked his thumb over the head of Dave's cock and he keened, his head falling back against Bro's shoulder, his hands pressed flat against the tiled wall of the shower. Bro took advantage of his helplessness and slid a soap- slicked finger up into Dave. His eyes flew wide open and he groaned. "Okay, wow," Dave said, his voice low and groaning as Bro slid his finger in and out of him. He leaned down and gently kissed Dave's ear, then moved down to lightly nip at his neck a few times, while he continued to stroke Dave's cock with his other hand. "Bro..." Dave whispered, his knees threatening to give out on him. Bro stopped massaging Dave's dick and wrapped his left arm firmly around his stomach instead. "Don't fall, little dude," he said softly. "Trying..." Dave replied, all of the sarcasm gone out of him. "I got a surprise for you," Bro whispered into his ear again, his lips brushing over it, causing Dave to shudder as he moved his finger in and out of him at a slow, measured pace. "I'm clean." Dave did manage a pretty good smirk, Bro had to give him credit. "No shit, Sherlock," he said. "You just had a fucking shower." "No," Bro said, sliding his finger slowly out of Dave as he reached down for his own cock. He had to bend his knees quite a bit because of how much taller than Dave he was, but he absolutely did not care as he eased the tip of his cock between Dave's ass cheeks, leaving it to rest, bare, on the outside of Dave's entrance. "I'm clean." Bro said. It still took Dave another good five seconds for what Bro was saying to register in his head. But when the realization hit him, his eyes grew wide and his mouth parted just so, and it was incredibly sexy. "Oh, yes," Dave whispered. "Oh yes, oh yesssss...." Bro gave a crooked half-smile as he held Dave close to him with his left arm wrapped around his stomach. He stuck out his free hand in front of Dave. "Get me some soap," he said, and Dave's hands shook as he reached for the bottle and squirted far too much into Bro's palm. Bro brought his hand back to his own cock and spread the soap over it, giving it a few good strokes to get himself up to maximum hardness. He then had to bend his knees quite a bit to compensate for how much shorter Dave was, though he absolutely did not mind. He guided his tip inside Dave's hot tightness, and both of them groaned in almost exactly the same manner as he slid easily in, slicked by the soap. Bro moved his hands down to Dave's hips and tried to help him hold steady as he moved himself slowly in and out of Dave, the feeling of penetrating him bare completely new and different from anything he'd ever felt before. He could feel the walls of his tight heat sliding against his cock on every side, pushing him taught as he slid in, pulling him hard as he slid out. He could feel him; he could feel Dave in a totally new way, his real flesh gliding against him. The friction created sensations that caused Bro to shudder. He never, ever wanted to stop; he would move at this snail's pace forever to make it last as long as he could, and he knew from Dave's low groans that he agreed completely with this idea. Bro slid in and out of Dave with a measured, patient pace, enjoying every second of sensation that he felt, hanging on every groan that came from Dave's throat. Dave's palms were splayed flat against the tiles, his face raised to the ceiling with closed eyes and an expression of ecstasy that matched what Bro felt. Bro kept his palms firmly on Dave's hips, his whole body tense and ready to catch him if he fell. It felt impossibly good, for a hundred reasons, but mostly because he could see the pleasure reflected in Dave's face. Bro wanted to go forever, but his knees had other ideas. At no point could he fully straighten them because of Dave's shortness, and after a few minutes they started to ache to the point he couldn't ignore it. With one last groan he slowly pulled himself out of Dave, who whimpered in disappointed protest. "No, we're not done, quit fucking whining," he said in Dave's ear; the words the same as always but his tone was dripping with sweet honey and soft lust. Without the lustful look of pleasure on his face fading whatsoever, Dave slowly curled his fingers against the wall into his palm, leaving the middle one sticking straight up for Bro to see. Bro smiled. As far as he was concerned, Dave was fucking perfect, because no one else would ever understand him as well as he did. Once Bro was certain his little bro had his balance, he stepped into the water and rinsed the soap off of himself. He grabbed Dave by the hips and pulled his ass into the water, rinsing the lather off of him on the outside. "Just gonna leave me full of all-day clean minty freshness?" Dave complained. Bro smirked and wrapped his arms over Dave's shoulders, kissing his ear a few times before speaking into it in low, soft tones. "Nope, gonna rinse you out with ridiculous amounts of my white hot jizz shoved so deep up your ass you'll be remembering it for days." he said. "Holy motherfucking yessss..." Dave replied, and Bro could barely see straight as he reached to shut off the water. They both dried off in a hurry and then stumbled into Dave's room because it was five steps closer, and Bro couldn't believe how excited he felt as he pushed Dave down on the bed and kissed him, over and over. Dave lifted his arms and wrapped them around Bro's neck, pulling him close. Dave bucked his hips, lifting them so that their erections touched, and Bro felt inspired to reach down and squeeze their lengths together in his palm. "Uhhhhh..." was Dave's only reply as Bro started stroking them both together. It felt so good to be this close to Dave, to feel his bare flesh against his dick, and again Bro moved with a steady, slow rhythm, wanting the moment to draw out and last forever, never wanting to stop. Even though he moved slowly, he still felt the pressure in his balls building. He watched Dave's flushed face carefully, searching for his tells that Bro knew meant he was close. When Dave's breath hitched on a very high-pitched squeak Bro let go, and Dave whined with frustration. "Dammit," he said. "You wanna go off already? Because I'm fucking you whether you're finished or not." Dave's only response was a low groan, and then he reached up and tangled his fingers through Bro's damp hair. Bro stretched to slide open Dave's nightstand drawer to get the lube, and Dave took the opportunity to plant wet, sexy kisses on Bro's stomach, his fingers tracing gently up his sides. When he found what he wanted he slid his hips down and Dave spread his legs for him, breathing heavily as Bro spread the lube over his swollen dick. When it was good and slicked he tossed the tube on the bed and lowered himself at the same time Dave raised his hips to give him easier access. They had done this probably a hundred times by now, and all of the motions were familiar. When Bro's tip slid into Dave the first thing he felt was the heat. There was nothing there to dampen the sensation now. He closed his eyes and when he slid in he felt it, he felt Dave surrounding him on every side, Dave's body against him, Dave's flesh squeezing him tight. "Unnnngh..." Bro said, and then he felt Dave's fingertips on his cheek, and that was when he realized his eyes were not closed, but rolled back in his head. He slid all the way in and held still, and then forced his eyes back around to look down at Dave's flushed face. "Can't wait to try this shit myself if it's that fucking good," Dave said, his voice full of breath as he spoke. Bro leaned down and kissed his soft pink lips once before he pulled back up to admire his face, and he was aware of his unhindered expression of adoration, and he didn't care. "Only cause it's you, bro," he said softly, and then he slid out and thrust back in, and Dave cried out as he pointed his chin to the ceiling. Bro reveled in how good it felt. He kept reminding himself that this wasn't a one-time thing; he'd get to fuck Dave bare over and over, hundreds of times, but that didn't stop him from acting like this was his only chance and he had to make it last. He drew out slowly and thrust in hard each time, causing Dave to scream incoherent "yeses" and "Bros" and "fuck mes". He knew exactly where Dave's sweet spot was and hit it with perfect practice, and he had to give the little dude a lot of credit for holding out this long. "Brooo...ah....stop!" Dave screamed. What? Bro froze. Stop. It took his brain a few real seconds to process that. His blood turned icy with fear. He could not recall Dave ever saying that word before. "Dude, what's wrong?" he managed to say, though he could not hide any of the emotion from his voice. Dave looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. "I was gonna cum," was what he said, completely not upset. "I didn't want to, yet." Bro's racing heart started to calm down just a little. Okay, it was okay. He slowly collapsed on top of Dave in a wash of relief, his chest pressing against him as he melted into a puddle, his face buried in Dave's neck. "...Bro?" Feelings. Old, ugly, miserable feelings came to him and without even fully being aware of it, Bro sobbed. He could feel Dave's uncertainty in the fluster of his hands, as he didn't know what to do. Bro was fucking crying, in the middle of fucking sex. He sobbed again, and then Dave's arms were around him, holding him tight. "Dude, what the fuck?" Dave asked, his voice soft and gentle and full of fear. Bro struggled to explain anything that he felt, but it was nearly impossible, and he struggled to put back his mask of coolness, but it was nowhere to be found. Bro sat up, and very slowly slid out of Dave before he crushed his now soft dick, as the pleasure was gone. Annoyed at himself for ruining everything, he wiped the tears off of his cheeks and shut his eyes, too ashamed to look Dave in the face. "You sounded like me," he said, his voice hoarse and cracking and small. "You sounded just like me, and I'm just like him." Bro watched understanding form on Dave's face. "Hey, dude, no, it's not like that. Come on, you know it's not like that." Bro nodded. Of course he knew that. What the hell was the matter with him, dragging up shit like that now? "Bro, you stopped." Bro stared at Dave in bewilderment as more annoying tears fell from his stupid eyes. He glanced around the room for his shades. He wanted his shades. Dave crawled up beside him and put his hand on Bro's cheek, his familiar face inches in front of him, with an expression of nothing but total love. "Bro, you're nothing like him. I said stop, and you fucking stopped." Bro stared into Dave's red eyes, eyes like his, his own eyes. Dave's touch, his voice, brought Bro back to the present, back to a room full of nothing but love, fucked up as it was. Bro reached up and put his fingers on Dave's cheek, and Dave closed his eyes and moved his face closer to him. Closer, not further away, and that small gesture said everything neither of them could say with any amount of words. Dave leaned forward and kissed Bro's lips, and then his thumbs were there, wiping the tears away, and they finally fucking stopped. Dave kissed his cheeks, his chin, and then his neck, and Bro moaned softly. He unclenched the fists he hadn't been aware he'd made, and Dave moved his palms down to Bro's chest and pushed him gently back on the bed. Bro fell to his back, shaking, Dave's form over him, kissing down his chest. Willingly, lovingly. "Let's do it this way," he said, and that was it; that was all the discussion about it and Bro felt totally grateful. Remembering old shit was the last fucking thing he wanted right now, and explaining it to Dave was something he never wanted to do. Dave's lips moved slowly over Bro's stomach, tickling him with his breath as he followed the trail of blond hair below Bro's navel with his tongue. Bro was almost embarrassed at how soft and small he was, but Dave didn't seem to care as he slid his tongue down over Bro's squishy flesh anyway. He moved down lower and started to lick Bro's balls...a thing Dave had learned Bro really liked. And it was that gesture that started to bring the heat back; not so much the physical sensation but the knowledge that Dave knew him. Dave knew him, he knew what he liked, and he gave a fuck about what he liked. Dave let out a heavy breath and the warmth of it stirred the heat in Bro again. He felt Dave smirk as he reached up a hand to stroke Bro's hardening cock, and Bro finally relaxed and let the pleasure come back under Dave's hands, Dave's tongue. Bro was still a little slick, covered in lube and leftover soap from inside Dave, but Dave sat up and reached for the tube, slathering more on anyway. Crouched between Bro's legs, Dave had the perfect angle to pump him, and then Bro felt a surge of pleasure and he inhaled sharply through his nose. "Awesome," Dave said, and then he climbed over Bro's legs to rest his knees at Bro's sides as he straddled him. Bro left his palms resting on the bed, he didn't move at all as he let Dave have control. Dave took Bro's hardened tip in his hands and guided him up into his ass, and then Bro felt Dave's heat, and then they both moaned as Dave slid down over him, taking him in. Bro's brain mercifully erased all of its annoying thoughts then and all he felt was Dave again. He bucked his hips, and Dave smirked. "Yess..." Dave said, and then Bro's hands flew to Dave's hips to hold him steady as he thrust up into him. The position wasn't new; they'd done this plenty of times before, and so all the awkwardness of figuring it out was gone, and it was just pleasure. Bro looked up into Dave's face and that was all he saw there; pleasure and lust and affection in his half-closed eyes. Bro moved one hand to take hold of Dave's cock and he moaned, and Bro started to move as fast as he could, pumping Dave at the same time he thrust into him, and Dave squeezed his eyes tightly shut as he bit his lower lip with his teeth in an expression that was nothing but sexy. Bro felt Dave tense first and then his eyes flew wide open as he came with a yell, his warm cum shooting up Bro's chest as he shuddered. Seeing that, along with Dave's face of absolute pleasure, sent pulses of heat through Bro. He grabbed his little bro's hips and thrust hard and fast, his mind gone as his world became nothing but Dave's tight hotness and then he came, waves and waves of pleasure pulsing out of him, and into Dave, really into him and he heard Dave groan an "oh, yeah..." Bro became still, and Dave opened his eyes to look down at him. "That was fucking hot," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. Dave shut his eyes and pulled himself off of Bro, mess oozing out of him and covering Bro in it. Bro couldn't move. He watched Dave as he grabbed the tissues off the nightstand and cleaned himself off. He then proceeded to clean Bro off, and Bro could only watch him, enraptured with the gentle way he did it, taking care to get in all the crevices, determined not to leave Bro a disgusting mess. When Dave was finished he crawled back into the bed, and Bro wrapped his arms tightly around him. Dave curled easily into his chest, his face nuzzled against Bro's neck, and Bro's heart sang. Dave was everything to him; his whole life; his brother, his lover, his best friend, his son. He was absolutely certain this wasn't how it was supposed to be. He didn't give a shit. "We're fucked up," he said, his voice sweet and tender. Dave pulled his head back to look him in the eyes. His smile was bright, his face glowing. "Yeah, and it's fucking awesome," he replied. Bro smiled back at him, knowing that Dave meant it, knowing that this thing between them was exactly how they wanted it, and fuck what anyone else would say. Dave, naked and sexy and hot, and Bro trusted him, because Dave loved him. He'd just proven that, again; Dave was the only person Bro could fall apart in front of, because he was the only person who loved him, because he was the only person he loved. Bro let himself stare into Dave's eyes, the only eyes that ever saw his own, the only eyes he knew, and before the fuzziness of the afterglow wore off and he came to his senses, he knew he had to say the thing. "I love you," he said, and instead of feeling sick to his stomach at the complete un-irony of it, he felt happy. He felt free. Dave stared at him in disbelief. "You'd better say that again, dude, cause I think I'm hearing shit," he said, his voice cracking a bit as it caught in his throat. "I love you," Bro said again. Dave reached his arms around Bro and pulled them tightly together, his lips kissing Bro's over and over, and Bro saw just how desperately he'd needed to hear it, and he felt guilty for making him wait that long. Or maybe that was just how long it took to crack open the stubborn heart that was Bro's, and there was no one else who could have done it. No one else but Dave. "Fuck," Dave said, wiping wetness from his eyes as he pulled away. "Fuck, I love you too." Bro laughed, and Dave smiled, and Bro suddenly had no idea why in hell he'd ever tried to teach Dave not to smile, because it was fucking beautiful. "Tell anyone about this shit and you're dead," Bro said, and Dave just snorted and rolled his eyes. "Too late, I already sent the headlines in for the front page of Strider Life," he said. "The whole world is gonna fucking know that Bro's human after all." Bro pulled Dave back into his arms and held him tightly. "You're not going anywhere." he said, holding him close. "Finally, he gets it," Dave replied, snuggling back into Bro's arms, and Bro realized that yes, he did in fact, finally get it. Or rather, he was finally able to accept that yes, he and Dave were in love, and it was fucked up, but that didn't mean it didn't count. So fuck the world and what it thought, and fuck his reputation of being a hardass and fuck being cool dude and fuck being a dick. Bro didn't need to care what anyone else fucking thought of him anymore. He didn't give a shit what they thought. He had a thing way more important to him than their approval, and he wasn't ever going to let it go again, not for anything, not for the world. Chapter End Notes Fanart from this chapter: By_faun-songs   Holy shit guys, that's the end! I can't believe I actually finished this monster of a fic. It's practically a novel. And why is it so long? Because of the awesome comments of you awesome fans who never made me want to stop writing this. There is nowhere on the internet as awesome as Homestuck kink meme, and I love all of you, and you are all the best. End Notes Fanart by_Marrionettekind. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!