Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/11181804. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan Relationship: Levi/Eren_Yeager Character: Eren_Yeager, Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin) Additional Tags: mentions_of_Carla_&_Grisha_Yaeger, Mommy_Issues, Fluff, First_Love, Pining_Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), POV_First_Person, Levi_(Shingeki_no Kyojin)_in_Love, the_neighbourhood_-_Freeform, Graz, Smoking, Young_Levi_ (Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Awkward_Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Addiction, Alternate_Universe, Emotional_Hurt/Comfort, Child_Abandonment, Eventual Smut, Poetry, Shy_Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin) Stats: Published: 2017-06-12 Chapters: 1/? Words: 4269 ****** Nobody Does it Like You do ****** by Sufforate Summary New house, new school, new faces. Levi quickly realizes he has a favorite face among them all, and falls in love with someone who sits at the bus stop every day, but never enters any vehicle. Curiosity and heartache peak the raven's interest and soon enough he finds out the underlying secret the brunette struggles with. Rated E for upcoming chapter(s). Notes Levi is OOC, so if you're not into that, well.. See the end of the work for more notes Bones shudder, teeth clatter, mouths pray, no matter if praying is something those chopped lips are used to do or not, when Winter has come. Unlike other cities, Graz didn’t appear in beautiful white cloaks after snow had fallen. Streets weren’t inviting to walk on, given that they were full of sticky and watery grey muds. Filth hafting ln every space people set foot on, water splashing and wetting pants and socks. Unlike other cities, Graz‘ winds didn’t assault just noses, cheeks, and other uncovered spots. No, your whole body shivered and it needed some extraordinarily warm clothing to survive the Winter. Due to the heavy weather fluctuations, one could could not rely on the weather podcast. One day it would be warm, the other would be so cold you couldn’t go on a walk with your pet in fear it might shiver to death. The snow didn’t sparkle, nor were fields, trees or cars buried under pearl white snow because the sun would melt it away after few days. I grunted and walked away from my wooden window to put on several layers of clothing, hoping that it would be enough. As I walked out of the house, reality hit me like a bitch. My whole body shook, painful shudders going down my spine. I hurried back inside, mumbling „Shit“ again and again, cursing everyone and everything. With multiple more layers I exhaled in satisfaction and hummed as I could comfortably walk to my bus stop where the highlight of my day awaited. It was still dark, black night sky and stars wrapping around the city. In the dead of the night, Graz seemed like an alien city, especially if you were walking alone. It was quiet. It was peaceful. Street lamps offered little illumination, masses of darkness collecting in certain areas, buildings appearing in a mysterious light. It was the perfect escape for the lonely and the alone, for the mad and the bad, for the lost, the sleepless, the homeless. When I walked outside it wasn’t night, but it appeared to be. Days were shorter in Winter. Every morning, since I had moved to a new house, I saw a guy sitting on the bench beneath a transparent roof as he waited for the bus. At first, I didn’t pay any attention to him, but as the days went on my interest peaked, not only because the chestnut haired guy appeared to be incredibly good looking. What fueled my interest were his gloomy eyes. Emptier than I had seen on anyone else before.  He always looked at the road, hands in his pockets of his navy blue jacket. Clouds of  heat collecting in the cold air, only to vanish again. Sometimes he smoked. Sometimes he listened to music from his ipod as he stared ahead or closed his eyes. I liked standing, but soon I found himself sitting. I fiddled with my phone, tapping at an app only to exit it again, glancing to the guy next to me to appreciate his defined jaw. Sometimes I looked longer than I intended to and hoped he didn’t notice. A sudden noise and my phone slipped through my hands, crashed on the fortunately dry ground. As I reache dfor it, I noticed another, larger hand doing the same. Oh my god. „Th-thanks“ „No problem. That’s the newest edition, isn’t it?“ It was the first time I saw his face so close, so clear. Impressive, undescribable green eyes, dark brown lashes, full eyebrows, hair falling gently on his creamy skin, hair so soft it was a struggle not to just touch it. I catched my breath, hoping I looked half as okay, tracing through my black hair and brushing my jacket as if it would help. „Y-yes“ „Cool“ His lips turned up lightly. „What kind of phone do you have?“ I was surprised with myself for being able to form a whole sentence without stuttering given that inside my head I was freaking out like a school girl that received a text from her crush.  „This.“ He pulled out an old Nokia, those phones with keys. Those phones no one ever used again after the invention of smartphones. He chuckled as he saw my puzzled expression. „I’m known as the grandpa among my friends. I like that phone. It’s easy.“, he said softly. “It’s a present from my mom.“ He sucked on his cigarette and exhaled after a while. „Nothing wrong with that” I muttered. “But…Don’t you get curious, I mean, smartphones can do almost everything now” Oh god, Levi. Let him have the phone he wants. But I can’t just stop our conversation. I don’t want to. “Yeah, I sometimes use my sister’s phone. It’s not like I’m stuck in time. With a phone like mine you can send a message or call someone and those are really the only things I need it for; and I have a laptop so it’s not like I don’t know how to handle technology”, he explained. “What’s your name?” “Levi.” “Nice to meet you, Levi. I’m Eren” He reached out for me and we shook hands, me unsure and hopefully not sweaty while he had a strong and certain grip.  “Nice” to meet you too. Fuck, just finish your sentence. He just grinned wider and brushed it off. “Where do you come from, Levi?” My name sounded like honey on his tongue. “France” His eyes widened and were full of life, in contrast to those hollow teals I saw every morning. “I’ve always wanted to go there! How’s it like?”, he yelled slightly. “Not as pretty as many think. But it depends on where you’re at I guess” I had lived in the dirtiest and most criminal part of France, but he didn’t need to know that. “Could you say something in french? Anything is fine. Just tell me something that’s on your mind right now, or a phrase. Anything really.” “O-okay.” Ants were roaming around the grizzled ground, one in particular hiding away beneath my shoe. „‘Un seul être vous manque et tout est dépeuplé.‘“ Eren looked baffled, eyeing me like a puppy. „from Alphonse de Lamartine. It means that sometimes, only one person is missing, and the whole world seems depopulated“ The hidden ant appeared again and followed the others who were heading to an uncertain direction. It was silent for longer than I was comfortable with and I looked down and massaged my thumbs. Did I say something too cheesy? It was the first quote that came to my mind. Then he guided his cig to his plump lips again, after breathing a small laugh. „I like it“ I could have sworn I heard his voice crack, but I didn’t have the courage to look at his face. „I’m from Germany. I’d never been there though. Been here all my life, but spoke german at home. That’s why I can speak it fluently.“ „Now it’s your turn to say something in german.“ My eyes locked his again and my chest hurt. I took a deep breath and continued, „ I’ve heard it’s pretty agressive.“ Eren snorted, head bucking down slightly, thumb of his occupied hand scraching his chocolate hair. „Woah, yeah I’ve heard about those assumptions.“ He grinned the most beautiful way I had ever seen. His green eyes had tiny white sparkles reflecting the daylight, eyewrinkles formed and his overall expression softened. Just kill me already. He had a single dimple on his right cheek. „ I don’t think so though. I think german is very poetic. Difficult to learn, but interesting. We have words for describing something the english language needs a whole sentence for. For example Heimweh or Backpfeifengesicht. There are many memorable poetries, quotes you can’t forget. Just like any other language. I really like Goethe.“ He then looked straight ahead, clouds forming under his breath. „One of my favorite quotes from him is ‚Wir erschrecken uns über unsere eigenen Sünden wenn wir sie an anderen sehen‘“ He chuckled, expression kind, but eyes flickering as if they were recalling something, seeing something the road kept hidden. I wanted to know what he was thinking, what he’s burying deep inside. „It means we get shocked about our own sins if we see them on others“ His cigarette flickered red as he lifted his arm again, guiding it to his lonely mouth. His lips weren’t chopped, unlike mine I had to lick every few minutes. I hummed. It was an okay-silence, the type of silence which was neither comfortable nor awkward. My bus arrived and he told me goodbye, but my goodbye stuck in my throat as I hurried inside and the I fidgeted with my phone as I sat down. I didn’t look outside. How awkward was that? How inpolite was I, not saying anything back?  Just bury me. I knew that I would think about that one incident the whole day long. And I did.  - The next morning he was there again, just like every other day. He didn’t say anything as I sat down and I panicked . Was it because of yesterday? No, he's not that childish to sulk over something like that. We don’t know each other. Why would he start a conversation? We’re strangers. There’s no reason to stress over it. „Levi? Hey. Why didn’t you say anything?“ Gloomy greys met surprised greens and suddenly my cheeks warmed up. „Sorry“, I mumbled, thinking it would be pathetic to confess my insecure thoughts. „‘Morning“ he grinned and looked at the flickering lamp across the street. „Good Morning“ We were surrounded by grey and white, occasional yellows of the street lamps,  and I rubbed my hands together as they started shaking slightly, along all the other parts of my tortured body, clattering lightly because of the sudden fall of temperature. Eren didn’t even blink, didn’t look like he even notice the icy wind while I was trying my best not to die out here. I should really layer more, but with the weather fluctuation these days, you could not even rely on the weather podcast. Screw that, at this point, I didn’t give a shit anymore if I walked into class with six layers, only to experience the burning heat in the next break. I’d just change, rip those damn fabrics off if I had to, just so that I didn’t actually pass out on my way to school. Eren inhaled, eyes closing, and then glanced over so that teal eyes met silver ones. „Levi! Shit!“ The next moment he had zipped down his navy blue parka jacket and clung it around me, zipping it up altough my arms were around my waist and not inside the sleeves. „Y-y-you d-d-“ At this point I wasn’t sure if I was stuttering because of the coldness. „No discussion. You- you’re freezing. Your skin is even paler than before, your whole body is shaking.“ he gasped as if I didn’t know and inspected my body, his furrow between his brows growing. Don’t look at me with those eyes. Somehow it makes me want to cry, and I'm not even kidding. I didn’t say anything, nodding as I snuggled into his way too big jacket, sniffing his musky cologne. He then pulled the hood with wolf fur up so that my head warmed too.“So. That’s it“ He smiled satisfied as he sat back in his usual position. „I’m good. I don’t get cold easily, and I do have a warm sweather on me so don’t worry. See?“, he tugged on his grey sweather.“ I’m fine, so don’t make a face like that.“ Suddenly it was rather hot. I glanced up and down, trying not to linger my eyes too long on his muscles or the area between his legs. He really didn’t seem like he was cold. As I met his expectant gaze, however, I instinctively looked at my hands again, legs shifting as if to warm them. I pulled my scarf down, feeling ice around my mouth, but pulled it up again, choosing to rather speak through the fabric.  “Since when have you been smoking? If it’s okay to ask”  “ I think since nine years or so. I started young and I won’t forgive you if you start. It’s not good for you” “Then why do you do it?” It’s an addiction, Levi. Don’t act so stupid. Don’t ask silly questions you already know the answer of. His mouth formed a smile but he didn’t look happy at all. “It’s not good for me” I didn’t know how to answer. With a small ‘oh’ I buried myself even deeper into his garment, subtly enjoying the musky cologne. A few minutes later the bus arrived but Eren didn’t move. I never saw him enter a bus despite waiting for so long it had arrived several times already. It was warm, but all good things had to end. I pulled my hands through the sleeves of his jacket and zipped it open before he stopped my motion, placing one hand on mine. “You need it more than I do” “I can’t just-!” “I’m serious.”, he cut me off rather harshly, “ Weather doesn’t do anything to me, my body accustoms to it. I’m only wearing a sweather with a dress shirt underneath and it feels cold, yeah, but I’m not dying like you are. I could never forgive myself if I let you just leave. Go to school with it and we’ll see each other tomorrow, same place same time. I don’t want you to collapse on your way.” His dimple appeared again, eyes soft and caring. “I-I’ll give it back. Promise!” “Only if you dress yourself warm enough.” He waved as I stepped into the bus and looked back at him. Before the doors closed I shouted “Thank you” louder than I wanted, only to slap my hands onto my mouth and looking down before meeting his amused teals again. The bus started moving and his smile faded the smaller he got as I saw back to the stop and I could have sworn he held the same emptiness as I’ve witnessed every morning he sat on the cold wooden bench, staring at nothing really. -   The next morning he was there, just as the day before, and the day before that day. Hands buried in his brown leather jacket. Everything he wore seemed so expensive, but maybe he just got lucky at regular shops. “Hey” He didn’t answer. “Hey”, I tried again. Still no answer. Then I tugged on his one hair strand, making him jolt and glance up in highspeed. “Levi.” I wished it didn’t feel like my heart skipped several beats as he grinned at me. With shaky breaths I tried to smile back, but I knew I’d never look as stunning. Eren was straight out of a hollywood movie. I bet he was liked among his peers, known throughout his grade or even school. He was the popular type, he was the too-far-away type. The happy type. He was not like me. “You… look great” I grunted, knowing too well how my seven-layered outfit looked like. I was a ball of a mess, but he inspected me with such an interested and amused stare, that I didn’t care anymore. He was happy and somehow that was all that mattered. I gave him his jacket, neatly folded in a bag. He accepted it, but then grabbed another bag next to the bench and gave it to me. “I’ve got something for you”. There was a longer black winter coat with fur on the inner side and definetely expensive as shit. It had to cost several of my month salaries. “No.” “I don’t need it. It’s too small on me and I never got to sell it or gift it away.” “I can’t.”  “If you don’t take it, someone else will. It’s no big deal. Take it, please. It’s warmer and more comfortable than layering yourself everyday.” Knowing that he’d throw it out or give it away anyways calmed me a little. “It’s- why?” I exhaled, unbelieving what was happening right now. “I like it”, he scratched his neck and smiled sheepishly ,” if you wear something that’s mine, that is.” “It’s- Wow. We started talking just a few days ago.” “I couldn’t possibly give that coat to anyone else but you”, he laughed. “You shiver like no one else. I won’t force you to accept my gift, but you should know I’ll get very sad if you refuse.” He put emphasis on the ‘very’ and pouted slightly, furrowing his brows. I sighed and rolled my eyes in an attempt to seem indefferent and begged my heart not to manipulate my voice. “Fine.” Woah, nice, Levi. He grinned with satisfaction and I plumped onto the cold bench. We chatted until my bus came.  The next few weeks he was there every time I went to school. I found out he liked the band The Neighbourhood , that he liked Game of Thrones, Jazz music, poetry, that he was only a twoyears older (18), that he was planning on studying Geography, German and History, that he hated ketchup and onions, that he liked being patted on the head and behind his ears, that he was boxing multiple times a week in some Studio, that he was living with his father, that he loved skiing and just all kinds of sports. He never mentioned his mother and I didn’t dare to ask. When I gathered the courage to ask him why he waited and who he was waiting for, one day, he didn’t answer for a long time. “I’m… I don’t know why. I have to come here or else I’ll miss it if she comes here. I promised to wait. I promised. They tell me to stop, that she won’t come but- I can’t. I just want to see her again. She told me she’d come. She promised”, he mumbled in a broken voice. “Ah, sorry this got kinda weird. I’m sorry.” He changed to more silly topics, smiling and laughing when it wasn’t really funny. My hands shook as I lifted them up, remembering what calmed him down, caressing his head, going through his soft chocolate brown hair. „You’re smiling but you’re close to tears“, I whispered. He didn’t hide his pain anymore, but nodded slowly, his smile wobbling as his lips trembled. He then threw his cig away and looked at me with a face I never wanted to see. A face that destroyed me with him. „It’s okay“, I repeated as I felt his long hair gliding through my fingers. „It’s okay.“ When I was sure he had calmed down I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. „Shut the fuck up“ he ordered and I couldn’t believe my ears at first. „Leave me alone.“ I didn’t leave him alone and he didn’t escape my touch so I continued. I didn’t go to school that day. We parted after an hour, walking opposite directions. - He was the highlight of my day, the sun to my rain, the hug I wanted so badly. He was the warmth a cold winter day needed. He was the hope people clung onto. He was happiness in my eyes. I didn’t dare to call it love, because love would mean our friendship was over. Love would mean disgusted faces and stupid remarks. Love would mean rejection. Love always meant rejection for someone like me. If he just knew what was going on inside me. If he just knew how big of a space he stole in my life. If he just knew that the random dude he met at the bus stop couldn’t stop thinking about him. If he just knew he was first and last thought in a day. If he just knew jerked off every night, moaning his name, imagining it’s him giving me bittersweet pleasure. If he just knew… Would he still be comfortable enough to sit next to me? Would he still look at me with those caring eyes? Would he turn away from me, act like I didn’t exist? Would he not mind that a guy likes him? Did I really like him, or was I so naïve and isolated that I mistook those feelings for something else? Since I had moved so far away from my few friends I only kept in touch with them through the phone, occasionally meeting up. At my new school I didn’t have any friends. At first they were interested I me, but as time went on, they preferred to stay in their own groups of friends. It’s not like I tried anyways, so it was fine. Seeing Eren every morning made me not dislike going to school again. Everything started to be fine again. Graz suddenly seemed friendlier, warmer, despite the occasional shudders. The air was clearer. I didn’t give two shits about the mud beneath my boots anymore, I didn’t curse as I walked to the stop. My head was full of Eren and Eren only. “Do you have a girlfriend?” I bit my lip and held my breath. “No. I’m not good with women”, he laughed and I breathed out. “What?! How come? You’re so kind and social and good looking. There must be girls wh-“ I placed my hand on my mouth in seconds, embarassed by my outburst. “I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking they’re all the same. I tried dating but... because I don’t trust them they break up with me. I just can't stop thinking they'll leave me one day. It’s...not the same with the guys I’ve dated. Maybe I’m subconsciously a sexist?” He mumbled at the last part and glanced over. “Whoa- Levi. You should smile more often.” He was bi. Fuck me sideways, this is the best day of my life. - He wasn't there. I didn’t believe it at first, blinked and looked at the bench again, sat down and looked around over and over again until the bus came. And the bus came again. And again. And again. Was kind of idiot am I? Of course he won’t be here everyday. Of course he has a life outside this bus stop. With a strange feeling in my stomach I entered the next bus. Did something happen to him? Maybe he has a fever? Maybe he collapsed? Why the fuck didn’t I ask for his number? For a whole month Eren didn’t come. I did, and I waited. Sometimes I waited until night. No one told me choking blades would be this painful. - My heart skipped several beats as I saw a shadow on the bench. Carefully I got closer. With every step the drums inside me got louder, my hands got sweatier and I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t inhale and exhale, couldn’t think. Uncertain steps formed into loud stomps. The world seemed to spin around, and as those green eyes looked up at me, I kind of wished I had never come. Bloody red string on his eyeballs making his teals pop more than ever, puffy eyes, messy hair, skin paler than the healthy glow I had known. “Levi”, he said in a hoarse voice. “Levi, what happened? Do you want to talk about it?” Fucking idiot. Fuck you, Eren. Fuck you for being the type of guy who hits rock bottom but cares for another guy’s wellbeing. I tilted up his head and attempted to glare at him. „What happened to you, you shit“, I muttered pathetically, feeling something wet on my face. „I…she’s… She’s gone“, his voice was weak, just like mine. „Who is she“ I said softly, barely a whisper as I kneeled down and looked into his eyes. „Mom. She’s gone. She won’t come back. Ever. They found her in the ocean. After twelve fucking years,“ he forcefully gripped chunks of his hair with both hands, curling down, „they want to tell me they found her. She can’t be gone. But she is. She promised. She won’t- I can’t. I miss her so much“,he whined. „ I miss her so much. I miss her so much I want to die. I-“ I untangled his fingers leaned in, closing the space between us. I wrapped my arms around his neck and breathed his cologne I had missed so much. „You’re not alone, Eren.“ „It’s like I’m loving the shadow of a person…” His voice was full of emotion, needy, whiny, destroyed. „…who never existed“ „I’m not going to leave. Everything is okay. You don’t have to be alone. You’ll be alright. No one can hurt you.“ I gently stroked his back, holding him tight, "Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that" , altough I needed something to hold on too. My legs were wobbly but I had to stand tall for us."You’ll be alright. No one can hurt you.“ „Stay away from me, love just hurts“, he said in hushed tones but held on tighter until I had to gasp for air and whimmer. He loosened his grip, muttering sorries, burying his head deeper into my chest. We stayed like this for hours, or so it felt like. I ruffled through his hair and leaned back, smiling weakly as I saw his eyes puffier than before.“You okay?“ „Yeah“ His voice was low and hoarse. „What are we going to do now?“ „I don’t know. Just sit?“ „How exciting“, I chuckled. „Don’t forgot my amazing grandpa reputation“, he said and laughed weakly but honestly. We sat for a long time and parted then, heading into opposite directions, but not before we exchanged our phone numbers. End Notes This was inspired by Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood. (lovethemtodeath) Chapter 2 will (might) consist of Smut, which is why the rating will go up to 'E' later. (probably.) This fanfic might change from time to time because I tend to go over my works and notice things I could have done better after publishing them. xD Oh and just imagine Graz isn't a city in Austria, where you do speak german. Imagine it's in an English speaking country lmao fml. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!