Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2518535.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Young_Avengers
  Relationship:
      Teddy_Altman/Billy_Kaplan
  Character:
      Teddy_Altman_(Young_Avengers), Billy_Kaplan
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-10-27 Words: 9134
****** Nightswimming ******
by Khirsah
Summary
     “Hey, if I’m sober enough to not drown, I’m sober enough to…do other
     stuff.”
     Teddy cocked his head. “I’m pretty sure that’s not a great standard
     to set for yourself, Billy.”
     “Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure your face needs to be making out with
     mine right now, Teddy, so you should get on that.”
     He laughed, dimples flashing; his lips were wet and swollen—from his
     kisses, Billy realized with a dizzy sort of joy. Oh God, this was
     really happening. “No, but seriously, Billy.”
     “No, but seriously, Teddy, all I’m hearing is hi let’s French, so…
     Chop chop.”
     OR: A "What If?" AU of Teenage Wasteland. What if Billy and Teddy
     hadn't been interrupted at the pool?
Notes
     Art by the incomparable Cris. <3
  This work was inspired by
      Teenage_Wasteland by Khirsah
[http://i1204.photobucket.com/albums/bb417/OurTeenageWasteland/Space%20Oddity/
                tumblr_myv4inqCY01qh2nv9o1_500_zps0cbbf891.jpg]
**
“You, I thought I knew you.
You, I cannot judge.
You, I thought you knew me:
This one laughing quietly
Underneath my breath.
Nightswimming.”
—Nightswimming, REM
**
He had no idea how this had become his life.
“Crap crap crap, excuse me, crap crap crap,” Billy muttered, squeezing through
a gaggle of tourists and running up the subway steps. The karaoke place wasn’t
all that far from where he lived, but there had been a delay on the green line
and everything had been held up and he’d been sitting there for what felt like
forever, jittering and checking the time and trying not to imagine all the
horrible and completely true things Jamie was saying about him.
This had been a stupid idea, a completely stupid idea, he told himself as he
nearly bodychecked a girl coming through the turnstile, calling out a quick,
“Sorry! Sorry!” as he rushed past. He should have cancelled his plans with
Teddy. He and Jamie had a long-standing tradition to go out and do something
stupid and dorkyfun on the night he got back from school. If Billy hadn’t been
so weird and starry-eyed over Teddy, he probably would have remembered the
exact date Jamie was getting in for break, and he never would have made plans,
and he wouldn’t be running late to meet them, and they wouldn’t be alone in the
same room for nearly, God, twenty minutes, and this would not be happening.
His phone buzzed against his thigh and Billy fished it out, nearly dropping it
into the gutter as he waited for the light to change.
212-555-9078: where are u, loser? ps teddy rocks. can i marry him too?
He pressed the call button, zipping in front of an elderly man with a walker,
nearly sprinting across the street.
“Hey!” Jamie said when he picked up. Billy could hear a pounding beat and
muffled voices. “We’ve already claimed the booth—we’re in number 11 when you
get here.”
“Do not say anything mortifying about me or I will kick your ASS,” he promised,
weaving through people as he ran down the sidewalk. “I swear to God, I will.”
“What was that? You used to do what with your Thor doll?”
“Jamie!”
Jamie hung up.
He really needed to reassess their best friendship, Billy thought grimly,
crossing one more street. He could just make out the karaoke bar half an avenue
down, blue light flickering over the door. He shoved his phone into his pocket
and practically slammed inside, offering the host a breathless smile.
“Room…11…” he gasped, yanking at his scarf to pull it away from his neck, give
him room to breathe. The man pointed toward the stairs and Billy scurried up,
Japanese letters flashing over his skin from the blinking signs.
The main room was a bar, with a big screen and several mics that could be
passed up and down the row. In the back were small rooms, somewhat
soundproofed, with tables and private systems. He hurried down the line,
glancing in through frosted glass at people singing their hearts out until he
spotted 11. Billy made himself stop just outside the door, taking a deep,
steady breath. Then he pushed inside, eyes casting around nervously.
The little room was dim and a bit musky. The television screen showed bizarre
clips of deer bounding through the forest and a pretty Japanese girl chewing on
a long piece of grass, staring out across what looked like a Colorado ranch.
Jamie was standing, holding one of the mics, singing, “Just a smalltown girl,
living in a lonely world; she took the midnight train going anywhere!” He
gestured to Teddy, who was sprawled in the booth, holding his own mic like it
was a snake.
“Uh, just a city boy, born and raised in—Billy, hey!”
He straightened, welcoming smile breaking across his face. Billy fought a
flush, smiling back and giving a little, stupid wave. Teddy scooted over,
rising to thrust the mic into Billy’s hands as he shut the door. “You take
over,” Teddy said, “I stopped believing a long time ago.”
“Come on, Billy,” Jamie protested when Billy turned, off-balance. “Chorus time.
Don’t stop believing! Hold on to the feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling.”
Billy mumbled along, mostly out of reflex, but it didn’t take him very long to
actually get into it. By the time the song ended and the next one had begun,
he’d shucked out of his coat and was wailing along with Jamie while Teddy
drummed out the beat on the table.
Jamie collapsed next to Teddy at the end of the third song, grinning and
flushed. Billy slid next to Teddy’s other side, lightly elbowing his ribs.
“Please tell me you guys just sang a few songs while you waited for me.”
Blond brows arched, and Teddy and Jamie shared a look that had pure terror
racing through Billy’s blood. “Oh,” Teddy said, “there was maybe a song or two.
Actually.” He reached for the huge, phonebook-sized list of songs and thumbed
through, then entered a number into the keypad. “Jamie said I should absolutely
request this one. Apparently it will change my world.”
Billy leaned over him and hissed, “You didn’t.”
Jamie leaned over too, smirking. “You adore me.”
“You snake.”
“Adore me!”
The music started. Teddy prodded his shoulder. “Come on. Change my world.”
And he was pretty sure he would die of mortification, but somewhere along the
way it became fun, and the three of them began choosing increasingly ridiculous
songs for the others to sing on dares. Teddy had an okay voice—not great, not
bad—but it was hysterical to watch him try to get through the squeaky rap in
Waterfalls while simultaneously trying not to crack up. Jamie had no shame, as
usual, slithering on top of the table for his rendition of Teenage Dream, and
it wasn’t until they’d had their Cokes refilled three times (water twice) that
Billy began to wonder what time it was.
In the middle of an absolutely terrible duet of A Whole New World, Teddy’s
phone began to ring. He passed the mic to Billy and slid out of the booth,
digging into his coat. Billy watched him out of the corner of his eyes as he
took up the song, flubbing a few lines as Teddy’s face grew tight and almost
grim.
“Hey,” Teddy said, reaching for the door, slipping out into the hall. “What do
you want? Look, I told you I had plans ton…” The rest was muffled by the door
sliding shut.
Jamie immediately cupped his hand over the mic. “Do you think that’s Greg the
Asshole?” he hissed, brows drawn together.
Billy bit his lip, staring at the door.
“Billy!”
“What? Oh. Yeah, I don’t know. Yeah,” he admitted. “He, um. He calls sometimes.
I think he likes to keep a pretty, you know, tight leash on Teddy.”
And fuck, he hated that. He hated that so much. Teddy always looked upset when
he got those calls, and weirdly anxious, and sort of…guilty? But he always took
them. And every once in awhile, Billy could catch snippets of him fighting with
Greg or, even worse, agreeing to go over later. And the rest of their time
together would be ruined, because all Billy could think about was him heading
over to Greg’s after—undeniably handsome, asshole Greg.
Jamie leaned against him. “Do you think they’re…you know?”
“I don’t know,” Billy mumbled.
“But he almost kissed you. You said so. If he and Greg are…you know…then what’s
he doing almost kissing you?”
“I don’t know.” He twisted the cord of the mic around his fingers, stomach
churning, and not even the bright, ridiculous music could lift his spirits.
Jamie dropped his mic and slid his arms around Billy’s shoulders, pressing his
face against his hair and squeezing. Billy grabbed grateful handfuls of his
shirt and hung on tight, feeling stupid for needing the comfort and yet still
so grateful to have it at the same time.
“You’re worth ten of that asshole,” Jamie murmured against his hair. “Easy.”
Billy squeezed his eyes shut, dragging in an unsteady breath as the song ended
and another began. There had never been anyone before Teddy. Having a crush on
the Human Torch or Captain America or even random guys around the city was
different—this was different. Because he actually knew Teddy, could call him up
at any time of the night and make fun of his hair and send him texts and feel
his arm drape around his shoulders, heavy and warm and so perfect it made his
entire body drown in heat. Teddy was beautiful, and Teddy was funny, and Teddy
was kind, kind in a way Billy still wasn’t used to sometimes.
And the way he had looked at him, in that secluded alcove, the light flickering
over their faces…
“You good?” Jamie squeezed again, tight, and Billy lightly patted his arm.
“Yeah,” Billy said, opening his eyes, drawing in a deep breath. Whatever, so
what if Greg the Asshole had called? Even if Teddy ended up ditching them later
to go over to his place, he’d been there, been having fun with them, for hours.
He’d given part of his time and his attention to Billy, and Billy didn’t have
the right to ask for more…no matter how desperately he may have wanted to.
“Come on, let’s skip to the end of this song and start with a new one,” he
suggested, getting a better grip on his mic.
They were rounding in on their third song when the door opened again. Billy
glanced over, out of the corners of his eyes, trying not to be too obvious
about it. Teddy was backing in, holding the door with his hip, hands full.
“Hey,” he said, expression a strange blend of sheepish and mulish. “Hope you
don’t mind.” He set the pitcher of beer and cups onto the table, and Billy
managed to more or less keep his cool, but Jamie was, predictably, Jamie.
“Oh my God, you got us beer?” Jamie said, way too loudly, then quickly lowered
his mic. “Dude, seriously? How did you swing that?”
Teddy shrugged a shoulder. “Old soul,” he said and, standing there with his
piercings catching the dim light, head cocked defiantly, he looked older. “You
don’t have to have any if you don’t want to.”
Jamie was already pouring three glasses. “No, this is great. You are great.”
Billy drifted closer to grab his plastic cup, using it as an excuse to lightly
nudge Teddy’s shoulder, their eyes meeting, holding.
You okay? Billy wanted to telegraph, wanted it so bad he thought maybe, just
maybe, Teddy managed to read it in his eyes.
Teddy cocked his head slightly and leaned into him for the briefest moment,
hand moving to the small of Billy’s back, just…hovering there at the dip of his
spine, warm, seeking warmth. No, the touch seemed to say, but thank you.
Then he straightened and lifted the glass, eyes closing as he swallowed once,
twice, three times, downing the contents in a graceful pull.
Jamie’s brows popped up in shock, then waggled when Billy shot him a quelling
look. Even though he usually wasn’t wild about beer—he didn’t like the
taste—Billy drank the whole cupful in solidarity. Teddy was already on his
second, though he was going slower with this one, probably out of deference to
Billy and Jamie.
Don’t mind us, Billy thought, swallowing around the bad taste. We’re just your
average run-of-the-mill utter nerds.
They sang a few more songs to shake free the lingering weirdness, and somewhere
along the way the pitcher was refilled a few times and Billy forgot that he
hated the taste of beer. By the time they paid up, they’d been there for hours
and were all a little to the right of tipsy. Jamie was still singing as they
made it to the street, throwing his arms out and spinning, then laughing when
he almost lost his balance. Billy struggled into his coat, smirking, trying to
find the stupid armhole. He was starting to realize he was failing with the
fine motor skills and probably shouldn’t go home right away when Teddy stepped
close behind him, hands on Billy’s hips.
“Here,” Teddy murmured, near his ear, and Billy bit his lip and nodded, not
caring what he was agreeing to—agreeing to everything. Teddy caught his
flailing wrist in one hand and dragged the other up his spine to catch the
trailing end of his coat. He lifted it, bringing Billy’s arm back, helping him
slide it into the sleeve before turning him and slowly, methodically, fastening
the buttons.
He was standing close—so close—lashes casting dark shadows against his cheeks.
A soft wind blew, making his colorful scarf lift and dance around them, like
coils of smoke as his fingers slipped each button through its hole. He slid his
hands down Billy’s chest when he was done, smoothing out the lapels, and Billy
wanted nothing in the world more than to tip up his face and kiss him, soft and
slow and sweet, until that lingering sadness went away.
“Wooo, I am so drunk!” Jamie said cheerfully, holding onto a post. He pressed
his cheek against it, watching them with a wide, happy smile, and Billy
reluctantly pulled back, breaking the perfect bell jar moment between them.
Billy slid his fingers through his hair, bemused by the way the world tilted
just a little when he took a step. “We are so not going home like this,” he
said.
“I’ve got somewhere we can go, if you want,” Teddy offered, and Jamie
immediately replied, “Yes! Let’s go with Teddy; Teddy is awesome.”
Billy cocked his head. “If you’re sure you don’t need to be anywhere,” he said,
hesitating.
Teddy shoved his hands into his pockets. “No,” he said shortly. “I don’t have
anywhere I need to be. Come on, it’s just a few blocks that way.”
They weren’t too far from Grand Central—the Chrysler building helped orient
Billy, even tipsy. It was good to know, he figured, and good practice for when
he was older. He kept close to Teddy and Jamie, Teddy reaching out occasionally
to snag the back of Jamie’s coat to keep him from veering into traffic, and
there was something about the way he so easily embraced Billy’s, admittedly
weird, childhood friend that made his insides glow. Well, that and the grim
tone of Teddy’s voice when he said, I don’t have anywhere I need to be.
So. Take that, Greg the Asshole.
A few blocks turned out to be eight, which wasn’t very far but which felt like
a marathon tonight. Finally, however, Teddy caught Jamie by the elbow and
steered him to lean against a window, shaking his head wryly. “You did not
drink that much,” he said, bemused, but Jamie just beamed at him, completely
blissed out.
Billy tipped up his chin, studying the building’s façade. He’d expected a
restaurant or a club or something. Maybe a coffee shop. Not this. “It’s a
sports club?” he asked, confused.
“I’m friends with the owner.” He was unlocking the gate, then the door, holding
it open for them. “Come on, hurry up so I can get the alarm.” Billy scurried
in, stumbling a bit in the dark, as Teddy relocked the gate and door, moving
purposefully in the darkness. There was a low beepbeepbeep, red light flashing,
keypad illuminating when Teddy flipped up the faceplate. He punched a code,
then enter, and the beeping stopped.
“The light’s by your elbow,” Teddy said, “but if you can manage in the dark,
there’s more ambient light upstairs.”
Billy gripped Jamie’s shoulders. “Come on,” he said, gently pushing him toward
the dim outline of steps. The three of them made their way up in silence—mostly
because, well, it felt weird to be in a place like this after hours. The air
smelled like sweat and leather and some kind of chemical. It was warmer than
he’d expected, air heavy but not unpleasant.
Teddy led them up the steps and through a hallway, past swinging doors. The
further they moved into the gym, the more light filtered in through high
windows. Weights and exercise machines cast long shadows, and Billy caught
sight of their reflection in a wall of mirrors—strange, unexpected shapes
moving through the dim.
“This is awesome,” Jamie whispered.
“Why are you whispering?” Billy whispered back.
“Dunno!”
Teddy led them back through another short hallway, then held open a second set
of swinging doors for them. Jamie’s indrawn breath didn’t prepare Billy for the
surreal beauty of the empty room. It was large, three times bigger than the
main workout floor, blue and green and white tile stretching across the floor
and up the walls. Ghostly light licked across their faces, shifting and
insubstantial as mist, the soft whoosh whoosh of water echoing up to the
cavernous ceiling.
Billy stepped away from the others, breath drawn, caught somewhere deep in his
chest. He tipped his face up to watch moonlight filter through the three huge
skylights dotting the roof. Clouds moved distant and cold across the moon’s
face, dappling the pool below.
There was something reckless about this. Something reckless and wild and out of
someone else’s life. This wasn’t him, Billy thought dizzily. This wasn’t him
standing here, head still whirling faintly, in this place, having this
experience. The real him was home, curled up under his blankets reading, or
laying on his back dreaming up adventures. Not having them.
He looked over at Teddy, lips parted to try to tell him how much it meant to
him, the way Teddy pulled him out of his own life and into these dreamworlds.
He’d met new people, been new places, saw old things with new eyes, and it was
all Teddy, all of it.
Teddy tilted his head slightly, eyes locked with his.
And then he took off his coat.
It dropped to the tiles with a heavy thump, pooling black as a shadow at his
feet. Teddy unwound his scarf, dropping it behind him, then began to toe off
his shoes.
Billy stood frozen, watching Teddy shift to one foot to pull off a sock, then
the other. His toes were perfect too, which somehow didn’t surprise him,
forming a clear arch from big to pinkie. Billy’s second toe was longer than his
big toe—his brothers liked to call him Gorilla Man—and was he seriously
fixating on Teddy’s toes while the other boy tugged his shirt out from his
jeans?
“Awesome, a locker room,” Jamie said, voice coming from far away. “I’m going to
find a bench and lay down for a bit, guys—call me if you need anything.” And
then he was gone, door swinging shut behind him.
Teddy unbuttoned his blue overshirt, thumb pushing buttons through their holes,
focusing as the shirt began to part around him. “Didn’t you want to swim?” he
asked, voice low, propelling Billy into immediate action because yes, God yes,
he wanted to be in that water, with Teddy, he wanted…
He struggled out of his coat and shoes, dropping onto his ass out of self-
preservation when he began to wobble. Teddy’s overshirt floated down next to
him, light as air, and Billy swallowed hard. He looked up through his lashes as
he tugged off his socks, watching as Teddy grabbed the hem of his undershirt
and pulled it over his head, shucking it off in one fluid motion.
Teddy’s body was a deep, gorgeous gold, practically gleaming in the dim green-
blue light. His arms were thick with muscles, shadows forming and fading as
they flexed with his movements. Even his back rippled with power, skin tight
over muscle, long line of his spine a dark blur leading to the lean curve of
his lower back, disappearing into his jeans. Billy’s mouth went dry, heart
beating so loud in his throat he swore Teddy had to hear it, had to know what
this was doing to him.
And then Teddy’s hands dropped to the button of his jeans and Billy had to
close his eyes, overwhelmed with the surge of heat. But, God, he couldn’t keep
his eyes shut, he had to see. To watch through his lashes, struggling
desperately to conceal his panting breaths as Teddy popped open his fly and
pushed down the zip. He hooked his thumbs into the waist, pushing them down
long, muscular legs until they pooled there with the rest of his clothes, like
a shed skin. His hands moved to the waist of his blue striped boxers and Billy
thought his heart would explode. Then he paused, dropped his hands and
contented himself with kicking free of his jeans.
“Meet you in the water,” Teddy said, voice low. He took five steady steps and
dove in, graceful and effortless and so Goddamned beautiful Billy couldn’t take
it. He watched as Teddy went deeper, making a dark shadow along the bottom of
the pool as he glided toward the far end.
Then, all at once, Billy began ripping at his own clothes, struggling out of
his shirt, arms getting tangled as he tried to unfasten his pants. He wanted to
be in there, now—in the cool, glittering, otherworldly water, near Teddy,
submerged and, and connected. He leaned back and kicked off his jeans, grateful
his own boxers were a respectable green plaid and not, like, Thundercats or
something.
He stumbled a little as he clambered to his feet, gooseflesh rising along his
arms, nipples puckering in the chill. Teddy had resurfaced on the far end of
the pool, hair plastered back from his face, piercings gleaming. He smiled at
Billy and sort of almost reached for him, hand skimming across the surface of
the water, sending ripples out in ever-widening circles.
Billy took a deep breath and jumped in, feet-first. He squeezed his eyes shut
against the shock of cold and chlorinated water, going down down down until his
toes touched the bottom. He bent his knees, then pushed off, rocketing up to
the surface again.
He broke the surface with a deep gasp, droplets flinging from his uplifted
face, catching the light. He could hear the steady strokes of Teddy swimming
toward him, water lapping against his skin as he bobbed there, waiting,
breathless.
“This is crazy,” Billy said, grabbing for the ledge. It was too deep for his
feet to touch, and there was water in his eyes. He squeezed them, trying to rub
them clear, laughing a little at the surge of pure joy. Teddy tred water just a
short distance away, grinning with him, and all of it—his proximity, the
moonlight on water, the green-blue hush of this place, the tracers of alcohol
still burning through his system, the thrill of knowing Teddy had chosen to be
here tonight, here instead of with Greg—was enough to override his common
sense. Billy reached out, one hand sliding over Teddy’s slick, warm shoulder,
and then Billy was floating forward and into his arms, twining his own about
Teddy’s neck. He rested his cheek against his own bicep, lips a breath away
from that warm skin he wanted so much.
“Thank you,” Billy murmured, hips bumping against Teddy’s, legs moving lazily
to help keep them from drowning. Teddy made a low noise in return, reaching
behind Billy to grasp the ledge, and somehow…somehow, that brought Billy’s back
flush against the pool wall, Teddy’s arms over him, penning him in.
His big, broad, powerful body, more naked than not, penning him in.
Billy squeezed his eyes shut, fighting the gasp that wanted to break free. He’d
had dreams like this, the kinds of dreams that ended with him waking hot and
hard and arching. He had to struggle to keep from arching up now, entire body
all at once shocked awake and trembling. Teddy’s skin felt so so good against
him. So smooth and solid and perfect. He let the water buoy him up a little,
thigh brushing against Teddy’s, and fuck, fuck. He bit his bottom lip hard. He
was shuddering with the painful-good surge of sexual awareness, fighting with
everything he had to keep his hips tilted back, to keep Teddy from knowing.
“Billy,” Teddy murmured, chest vibrating. Billy tightened his arms around his
neck, face scrunched up in embarrassment and need. One of Teddy’s hands dropped
to his ribcage, high at his side, then slowly slid down, thumb pressing in on
the careful stroke, following the curve of Billy’s body until it rested at the
waist of his boxers, rubbing the skin just above the tight elastic. Billy
fought back a strangled cry, hips jerking against his will, as Teddy slipped
his thumb under the elastic, just a little. “Look at me, Billy, please.”
Billy swallowed hard, then slowly lifted his head, eyes blinking open, and
there, there on Teddy’s face was what he’d thought he’d seen at the
museum—hunger. Billy gasped in a breath, lips parting, and suddenly Teddy was
right there, his mouth covering Billy’s as if he had to swallow that noise. His
lips were smooth, soft, breath a gentle gust against Billy’s mouth. And then
his tongue was stroking past Billy’s parted lips and deep inside.
Kissing him.
Billy surged against him with a strangled noise, legs thrashing, searching for
purchase. Teddy’s groan vibrated through both of their chests as Teddy pressed
forward, one strong thigh pushed between Billy’s legs, giving him something to
(grind against) rest his weight on, nudging him back against the slick tiles as
he stroked his tongue deeper and deeper, devouring Billy’s mouth with a hungry
groan.
Billy couldn’t keep his hips still, didn’t want to, arching against the hard
strength of Teddy’s thigh as he desperately kissed back. Teddy was his first
kiss, but he refused to be clumsy or embarrassed, too electrified to do
anything but give Teddy absolutely everything he had. He stroked their tongues
together, the slick glide sending liquid waves of heat through him, making even
his fingers and toes tingle in response. He slid his hands over Teddy’s
incredible shoulders, then down his chest, mapping out the play of muscles as
Teddy’s tongue swirled against his, hot, so fucking hot he could hardly stand
it. Billy swept his hands down low, then up again, gripping Teddy’s shoulders
and digging his nails in as he pushed closer. He wrapped his lips around
Teddy’s tongue and tugged a little, sucking eagerly, remembering those boys in
the clip and how good it had looked.
The noise Teddy made—choked-off, sexual—caused the hairs along his arms to
stand up and his cock to jerk. Billy was harder than he could ever remember
being in his life, the heavy, weighted pain of it so good he wasn’t sure he
could stand it. Teddy broke the kiss to drag in an unsteady breath, but then he
was there again, kissing Billy hot and hard, and it was so easy for Billy to
tilt his hips forward and press his cock against the muscles of Teddy’s thigh.
Teddy tore his mouth way, gasping. “Fuck,” he said, hands dropping to Billy’s
waist, dragging him closer. Billy rocked forward, lightheaded, completely lost
to the sensation, the need. It was coursing through him in aching, rhythmic
waves, dictating the urgent hitch of his hips, the frantic kisses he pressed
along Teddy’s wet shoulders.
Teddy’s nails dug into his hips, lifting him—God, God, the way Teddy moved him
around, positioned him, was driving him crazy—and then pulling him forward,
urging his legs around Teddy’s trim waist. Billy went willingly, ankles locked
at the small of Teddy’s back, but it wasn’t until Teddy shifted forward and
their erections brushed together that Billy understood, and by then—“GOD,
Teddy,” he moaned, arching tight, sobbing in a breath. The pleasure of it was
almost too much, almost more than he could stand. It seemed like it was almost
too much for Teddy, too. They kept sinking a little, bobbing down further into
the water before Teddy grabbed for the ledge and pulled them up again, his body
driving Billy back against the cold tiles, sending surges of wildfire through
his limbs. He could come like this, Billy realized dizzily, and the knowledge
was enough to have him turning his face to find Teddy’s mouth again, tongue
sliding over his perfect bottom lip. Teddy grinned, hands on him, and Billy
dragged his tongue over one of those maddening dimples, licking at the divot
and shuddering, close, so close.
He was lost in endless yards of hot skin. Teddy’s fingers slid under the
waistband of Billy’s boxers again, rubbing over the sharp jut of his hipbones
and driving him insane. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right, it wasn’t—
“Oh my God,” Billy gasped against Teddy’s mouth, shuddering and rutting forward
in short, sharp little juts of his hips, trying to get more of the feel of skin
on skin. “You are driving me insane. I can’t—Teddy.”
Teddy swiped his tongue along Billy’s lower lip before sucking it into his
mouth—biting, fuck. “I want,” he said, kissing down Billy’s jaw.
“Yes.”
His dragged his nails across shuddering skin. “I haven’t even told you what I
wanted yet.”
Billy’s laugh was choked, breathless. “Oh my God, like it matters—yes, yes,
yes. Okay? Yes.” He’d beg if he had to. Strike that, he was only too happy to
start begging now. “Please, Teddy. Please, God, I want—I’m.”
One big hand lifted to cup the back of his skull, the other flattening against
his belly to still him. Billy whined deep in his throat, trying to roll his
hips forward, but Teddy was too strong—
(Which, crap, that shouldn’t have been as hot as it was; he shouldn’t like
Teddy being able to manhandle him as much as he really, really did)
—and try as he might, Billy couldn’t wriggle free.
“Billy,” Teddy murmured. “Look at me. Please?”
He blew out a shaky breath but lifted his head. Teddy’s eyes were on him,
studying his face closely as if trying to read some hidden reluctance—some
hesitation. As if he was worried he was taking advantage or something.
And Billy just…couldn’t let that stand. He couldn’t let Teddy tear himself up
about that when he wanted so much.
“Hey,” he murmured, ankles locking at the small of Teddy’s back. He reached up
to cup Teddy’s face, thumbs stroking across his cheeks. His skin was smooth,
lacking the faint rasp of stubble Billy half expected. His eyes were big and
impossibly blue ringing endless depths of black. God, Teddy was beautiful; he
was perfect. “I. This is going to sound mega-awkward because I don’t have a lot
of experience here, but um, I want you to… Uh. I want you. I’m pretty sure I’ve
been painfully obvious about that.”
“It’s complicated,” Teddy began, quiet.
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“And you’re drunk.”
“Hey, if I’m sober enough to not drown, I’m sober enough to…do other stuff.”
Teddy cocked his head. “I’m pretty sure that’s not a great standard to set for
yourself, Billy.”
“Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure your face needs to be making out with mine right
now, Teddy, so you should get on that.”
He laughed, dimples flashing; his lips were wet and swollen—from his kisses,
Billy realized with a dizzy sort of joy. Oh God, this was really happening.
“No, but seriously, Billy.”
“No, but seriously, Teddy, all I’m hearing is hi let’s French, so… Chop chop.”
“You’re impossible.” Teddy studied him for what felt like a very long time. It
was hard to focus: Billy kept having to fight the urge to roll his hips
forward, to drive them together. Teddy’s arms bracketed him, keeping him
pressed against the pool wall. The contrast of cold tile and hot skin was
driving him insane. The awareness of Teddy’s gaze studying him, of Teddy’s
breath against his parted lips, of one bead of water tracing its way down
Teddy’s perfect neck, Teddy’s perfect collarbone, Teddy’s perfect chest…
He wanted to lick it away. He wanted to worry golden skin with his teeth until
he left his mark. He wanted—
He wanted Teddy to want this too, as much as he did. So Billy held his breath
and forced himself not to dig his fingers into the dripping wet ends of Teddy’s
hair and wait him out, impatient and frightened and aching.
Everything Billy Kaplan had ever wanted was right there just a breath away, and
he couldn’t push away the feeling that if he moved wrong, breathed wrong, said
the wrong thing…it could all disappear just like that.
“Teddy,” Billy finally said, breaking the fraught silence. “I don’t know what
you’re thinking. I almost never know what you’re thinking.”
Teddy flushed and looked away. “Billy,” he began, starting to detangle.
Billy gripped his shoulders, thighs tensing around Teddy’s waist. “Wait,
please,” he said. “God, wait, just— Just let me talk, okay? Let me, let me, ah,
let me just say what’s in my head, and then you can— You can do whatever you’ve
got to from there. Okay? Because I get it. I do. It’s complicated. Whatever
this Greg thing is,” Teddy tensed against him, “I get that it’s complicated.
But what I’m saying is that I’m not. I’m not complicated when it comes to you.
I am ridiculously easy when it comes to you—and yes, all right, I probably
shouldn’t have said it like that, but you know, the double meaning stands, so…
Whatever. I’m easy. For you. I like you.”
An unknowable expression crossed Teddy’s face at that, more a flinch than a
fully realized thought, and Billy’s heart thudded hard in his chest. He reached
out, cupping Teddy’s cheeks between his palms; his eyes scanned Teddy’s
beautiful, perfect, unreadable face over and over again. “Teddy,” he said
quietly. “I like you. Whether you’re willing to kiss me, or, or, um, what we
were doing before with me, or whether you just want to play Scrabble like the
weird little old man you are—I like you. I care about you.” And then,
inspiration striking like the sudden thrill of lightning: “Teddy, I’m not going
anywhere.”
Teddy’s gaze jerked to his, color all at once staining his cheeks—as if he had
somehow been controlling the whorls of pink until then but had lost his grip in
surprise. They sank a few inches in the water, bodies bobbing together, and his
face. God, it hurt to see that sudden, raw expression on Teddy’s face. If all
that pain, that fear, that cautious hope was Greg the Asshole’s fault, Billy
would cheerfully tear the motherfucker limb from limb.
“Billy,” Teddy said, voice tight. His lashes flickered, eyes dropping down to
Billy’s well-kissed mouth, then up to meet his eyes again. His muscles were
tight, body rigid against his. Billy could feel Teddy trembling against him.
“You shouldn’t— I’m not—”
“You are,” Billy countered, not positive he knew what Teddy was failing to say,
but pretty sure he could take a guess. “God, of course you are.” He reluctantly
unhooked his ankles and unwound himself from around Teddy, wanting to keep
pressed tight but sensing Teddy needed a moment to…to doubt, to question, to
quake inside his own skin. Billy quaked right along with him, body thrumming
with an electrical current, wanting to wrap tight around Teddy and never, ever
let go. “How can you even wonder?”
Teddy gave a faint shake of his head. “You don’t know what I’ve done,” he said.
Billy frowned. “I don’t care what you’ve done; I care who you are.”
There was another long, long silence where his heart tripped double-time in his
chest. Teddy’s expression had closed down again, gone unreadable. Billy
couldn’t help but wonder if he had ruined everything with his admission.
And then Teddy’s hands gripped his hips and his muscles tensed, biceps
straining as he lifted Billy out of the water—out of the water and away from
Teddy—and Billy no longer had to wonder. He knew, then, no question, that
somehow he’d stuck his foot in it and ruined everything.
Like always.
Shit.
He shivered, miserable and still more than a little turned on despite the bobs
and weaves of high emotion. Teddy set him on the pool ledge; the tiles were
freezing against his bare thighs and his boxers did very little to hide the
bulge of his erection. Billy flushed and looked away, mortified to be so
exposed in the wake of such obvious rejection. It wasn’t that Teddy didn’t know
he wanted him—he’d hardly been subtle—but sitting here on the ledge with Teddy
bobbing still in the water below, there was no way he could hide.
“Well,” Billy said, desperately scrabbling for something to say to hide his
heartbreak, “this is awkward. He said awkwardly. Um. I’m going to just— Fuck!”
The last was startled out of him, high-pitched and breathless, when Teddy
reached out to hook his thumbs into the clingy-wet waist of his boxers…and
tugged them down his thighs. Billy’s cock bobbed free, and he nearly jerked his
hands down to cover himself, shock and confusion and an impossible flush of
heat unfurling through him in messy waves. He made another thoroughly
mortifying noise, then bit his own palm to stifle the cry when Teddy tossed his
plaid boxers aside, when Teddy slid his calloused palms up his quaking thighs,
when Teddy urged his legs to part and swam in the last few feet until he was
right there, right between Billy’s spread-wide thighs, eyes on his face and
breath hot against his flushed and jerking cock.
Teddy wet his lips; Billy muffled a desperate moan.
“Is this okay?” Teddy murmured, voice dropped so low and husky Billy barely
recognized it. He stroked his thumbs lightly along Billy’s inner thighs,
soothing over the jerking muscles. Billy fought the (devastating) urge to
thrust his hips up, flushed erection bobbing, exposed—really fucking near
Teddy’s mouth, holy crap.
He dug his teeth into his hand, fighting to control the high-pitched whine that
kept wanting to break free. Teddy’s eyes were locked on his body, moving
hungrily over the sharp wings of his pelvis, the dark thatch of hair, all of
him. Teddy wet his lips again, and Billy keened helplessly, hips giving a
short, hard jerk, beads of precome slicking the head of his erection.
It was possible, he thought dizzily, that he was going to die he was so turned
on. And then Teddy’s lashes fluttered as he ticked his gaze up to meet his, and
possible transmutated into really fucking likely.
“Billy,” he murmured.
He had to answer. He just wasn't sure he could. Billy kept one hand clapped
over his mouth, hyper-aware of the way noise echoed in the cavernous
pool—hyper-aware that his childhood best friend wasn’t all that far away—but
dropped his other to Teddy’s golden hair. He brushed his fingers through the
silky strands, twisting through them; he raked his thumbnail lightly over the
row of piercings circumnavigating the delicate shell of Teddy’s ear. When those
blue eyes closed, as if Teddy were just as overwhelmed as Billy, it was all
Billy could do not to moan.
“Oh my God,” Billy finally managed, muffled. Daring much, he shifted his thighs
and slung his legs over the broad expanse of Teddy’s shoulders, heels digging
into his shoulder blades. He felt so exposed like this, wide open,
vulnerable—hot. God, God, fuck, it was so hot. “Um, yes. Yes. Oh my God, yes.
I—Teddy.” He dropped his other hand to touch Teddy’s face, shuddering when blue
eyes opened again to meet his. His cock was twitching between them, so hard and
slick it was almost embarrassing. He was panting for it. For Teddy. “I want—”
He didn’t get to finish. Billy’s words rose into a high whine when Teddy let
the water bob him forward, big hands bracing Billy’s skinny hips—lifting him
off the cold tile just a bit, so that his weight balanced on the thighs braced
against Teddy’s impossibly strong shoulders—and leaned in to brush his lips
across the flushed head of Billy’s cock.
“Fuck!” Billy gasped, startled. He slapped a hand back, palm skidding across
the cold tile as he arched helplessly—back a sharp bow, hips rutting forward at
the blinding, blistering heat of Teddy’s breath against him, Teddy’s tongue.
“Teddy, oh, oh my God.” The very tip of Teddy’s tongue darted out again,
swirling around the head of his cock before curling, teasing at the slit.
Teddy’s eyes slid shut, lashes a dark smudge against his cheeks as he gripped
the base of Billy’s cock in one big fist and let the head push between his
parted lips.
It was almost more than Billy could take. The heat, the slick glide of that
tongue, fuck, seeing Teddy slowly bobbing down, lips parting wide to take him,
long ends of his bangs falling into his face. Billy framed Teddy’s jaw with
trembling fingers and swore he could feel himself pushing inside; he could feel
the way Teddy’s jaw worked open as he kept going down…and down…and down…until
his nose brushed against the quivering muscles of Billy’s stomach.
“Holy crap,” Billy said, voice utterly shattered. “You’re— How— You— Oh my God,
I’m going to come.”
Teddy shuddered at that, moaning. Moaning. As if the thought of Billy coming…
As if he wanted…
“Oh my God,” Billy said, hips pushing up in a helpless rut, entire body on
fire. He could feel the pressure building low in his stomach, could feel the
breathless ache expanding out, and he only had time to grab a handful of blond
hair and hold on tighttighttight, to follow the maddening bob of Teddy’s head
as he took him ohgod impossibly far down his throat, as he swallowed around
him—before that pressure exploded out into a cascade.
He squeezed his eyes shut and came with a loud cry. It echoed around them,
caught by the cavernous walls, like a chorus, like a religious experience.
Billy’s fingers tightened in Teddy’s hair and he curled his toes, body arching
so impossibly tight as everything, as the entire world, whited out around him.
As it narrowed down to the wet suction against his cock, the soft strands
slipping through his fingers, to Teddy.
Teddy, who moaned around him, eagerly working his jerking cock, and very
deliberately swallowed.
“Gaargh!” Billy cried, cock giving a hard jerk in his mouth. His free hand
skidded and he went toppling down, head hitting the slick tiles with a sharp
crack. Teddy pulled back immediately, and Billy was painfully aware of the way
his nearly-spent cock twitched as it fell free, slick from that hot mouth, last
drops of come beading at the head.
“Oh my God,” Teddy said, voice husky—husky from sucking him off, and shit,
shit, that thought was nearly enough to make him stir again—and colored with
worry. Before Billy could do anything more than stare up at the vaulted
ceiling, dazed, Teddy pressed his hands to either side of his hips and hoisted
himself out of the water.
The sound of water displacing nearly drowned out the frantic thrum of Billy’s
racing heart. He made a low noise, starting to curl forward so he could watch
Teddy pull himself out like some sort of sexy merman, but Teddy was already
hovering over him before he could do more than lift his head; strong thighs
bracketed Billy’s hips, and a broad palm cradled the back of his neck. His
shoulders rounded forward until he was dizzyingly close.
“Did you hurt yourself?” Teddy murmured. He slid his fingers through Billy’s
hair, carefully searching for bumps or growing knots. The cloth-covered bulge
of his erection pressed deliciously hard against Billy’s quivering stomach.
He’d done that, he couldn’t help but think. He’d made Teddy hard.
“Billy?”
“…you expect me to talk now,” he tried to joke. It was weak at best, but a
strong lassitude was sweeping over him. He reached out to rest his hands on
Teddy’s slim hips, thumbs running over the ridges of his abdominal muscles.
Teddy sucked in a breath and went very still. “As if my brain were still
functioning.”
“Um.” Teddy flushed and wet his lips, and suddenly, Billy was burning with the
desire to kiss him, to taste himself on Teddy’s tongue. He made a low noise
deep in his chest and strained up, catching Teddy’s mouth with his. Teddy
stiffened in surprise for half a second, then surged into the kiss—lips
parting, tongue stroking into Billy’s mouth, twining hungrily with his. The
taste, fuck, an unfamiliar salt touched by chlorine, overlaying something that
was all Teddy, was enough to have him moaning again. Billy pushed in, his grip
on Teddy’s hips tightening as their tongues tangled deep, deeper, deeper
together and Teddy shifted restlessly over him, body moving in an already-
familiar needy rhythm.
Oh God, oh fuck, if he hadn’t just come, that low noise Teddy made when his
straining erection ground against Billy’s stomach would have made him
blindingly hard. Even so, he could feel a near-painful uncoiling low in his
belly as he sucked the taste of his own come from Teddy’s tongue and carefully
pushed the waist of his boxers down his hips.
The way Teddy was straddling him kept him from being able to push them all the
way off, but fuck, whatever, this was good, this was perfect. He got the
straining elastic around Teddy’s muscular thighs and nearly keened when his
cock was freed. The hot, flushed head brushed Billy’s stomach, painting a trail
of precome over his shivering skin, and he had to break the kiss to drag in a
panting breath and see. He had to see Teddy’s cock, so impossibly hard, flat
head shiny with come. Another bead wet the tip as he reached for him, and Teddy
sucked in a sharp breath, as if—
As if the mere thought of Billy’s touch was enough to bring him close to the
edge.
Billy’s gaze jerked up, locking with Teddy’s. His fingers trembled as he
wrapped them clumsily around his cock and gave an experimental stroke.
“Billy,” Teddy breathed. His hips pushed forward and his mouth fell open. His
eyes were very, very wide.
Billy licked his lips and just…kept going. He shifted his grip as he slid his
fingers up Teddy’s cock, then tightened as he pushed down again, making a fist.
He was hot against Billy’s fingers, and thick—big in a way that was sending
shuddery signals to his brain. Billy shuddered once with Teddy and stroked him
again, and again, eyes flicking between Teddy’s face and his cock as he tried
to see everything, to memorize this moment.
It felt as if they’d been caught in amber, or, or trapped in a terrarium. The
air was muggy and thick with chlorine. The soft whoosh whoosh of water slapping
tile was underscored by their rough breathing. Teddy made a torn noise deep in
his throat, and it seemed to echo all around them—up to the skylights and the
placid moon itself, watching over them with a benign sort of indifference.
They were doing this. This was happening. Teddy was straddling his hips and
Billy’s hands were on him and Teddy was going to come flying apart any minute,
and they would have come together, literally and metaphorically, bound by the
invisible threads of this impossible, magical night.
I love you, he wanted to cry as he quickened his pace, watching the warning
flush spread across Teddy’s cheeks. I love you, I love you, I love you.
And then, with a choked cry, Teddy came. Billy gasped at the first hot splash
of come, stomach tightening—his own cock, semi-hard again, jerked painfully as
Teddy shuddered over him, stripes of come painting Billy’s belly, his chest.
Teddy’s eyes stayed open throughout, dazed and brilliant blue. The way he
looked at Billy made his chest constrict tighttighttight.
It was as if in this moment, Teddy loved him, too.
Finally, Teddy tipped forward and to the side, collapsing bonelessly next to
him on the tile floor. His breath was coming in great, heaving gasps; he kicked
off his boxers and slung an arm and a leg over Billy as if to keep him close.
God. As if Billy were going anywhere.
They lay there, curled together like spoons in a drawer, breathing slowly
normalizing. Billy was hyperaware of Teddy’s warmth along his side and the hot
tickle of his breath. He shivered, cheering inside when Teddy’s bicep tightened
and he drew him closer, deep into the shell of his body. One big hand slid down
his stomach, smearing the trails of come away…or spreading it into his skin,
marking him with it. Either idea was enough to make Billy squirm.
He turned his head and tipped his chin, pressing a soft kiss to Teddy’s jaw.
Teddy made a low, rumbling noise and nuzzled close. Everything was perfect. He
could feel the exhaustion sinking in; their breaths fell into an even cadence.
“Wow,” Billy finally murmured, breaking what was turning into a long, languid
silence.
“Yeah.”
“If this is karaoke, I’m not sure I can handle full-out musical theater.”
Teddy gave a snort of laughter and yanked Billy over—rolling onto his back and
pulling Billy with him in a tangle of squirming limbs and shrieks of, “Hey!
Hey, rough trade! I protest!”
“I’ll show you rough trade,” Teddy promised, spinning them all the way over
until Billy was on his back with his hands pinned to the tiles, Teddy’s weight
pressed deliciously against his—chests to hips to legs, so many yards of hot,
golden muscle so very close. Billy made a low noise, cock stirring in interest,
unable to keep from arching his hips up in silent invitation.
Teddy’s breath caught and his eyes went dark. They hooded, lashes flickering as
Teddy bit his bottom lip…then carefully rolled his hips against Billy’s,
brushing his own slowly hardening cock against Billy’s.
“Oh my God,” Billy whispered, stomach twisting into knots of pleasure. There
was so much he wanted to do with this boy—there was so much he wanted. It was
just beginning to dawn on him that maybe he could have it after all. “Teddy. Oh
my God, Teddy, you have no idea how much I want to—”
And then, of course, a sheepish voice whispered from the locker room entrance,
“Um, guys? I am so, so sorry, but, uh…it’s getting pretty late.”
Teddy flushed a brilliant pink and immediately rolled away, grabbing for his
discarded boxers. Billy sat up, feeling dazed and hot and boneless, and glared
across the water at Jamie—who was standing in the open doorway, one hand
clapped over his eyes, shifting from foot to foot as if he were fighting the
urge to die of embarrassment.
“What time is it?” Billy asked.
“Uh. Rounding out toward 3 am.”
“Shit!” Billy scrambled to his knees, heart giving a hard lurch; he reached to
fish his boxers out of the water. He was going to be flayed alive. “Uh, shit,
okay, give us five minutes and we’ll be going. Okay?”
Jamie made a vague thumbs up gesture with his free hand and stepped out of the
doorway, letting it swing shut. Billy cursed and wrung out his boxers as he
stood, then nearly went toppling head-first into the water as he hopped around
from foot to foot trying to put them on.
Teddy caught his elbow. “Careful,” he said, grip tightening. Billy looked over
at him, dazed and grateful. Teddy was already in his clothes somehow; even his
hair already looked perfect. It was totally unfair.
And Billy was staring at him like a crazy person. “Um, okay,” he said,
adjusting the waist of his boxers. They were cold and clammy against his skin
and would suck beneath his jeans. Maybe he should have left them off. …too late
now, he decided, carefully tugging on the rest of his clothes. Teddy handed
over his shirt and he murmured thanks, cheeks heating up when their fingers
brushed. What had been such easy, simple affection before now felt strained.
Uncertain.
Say something, Billy scolded himself, crouching to fasten his shoelaces. Just
say something. How hard could it be?
“Um,” Billy managed, at the same time Teddy said, “So.” They both jerked to
look at each other, then laughed. Billy gestured for Teddy to go first.
“I was just,” Teddy began, shifting nervously from foot to foot. Billy couldn’t
ever remember seeing that kind of anxiety on him before; Teddy had always been
so good at hiding anything he didn’t want Billy to see.
Maybe, a quiet part of Billy whispered, full of hope, I’m allowed to see past
all that now.
“I was thinking, would you like to go to the movies with me?”
…huh?
Billy tilted his head, standing. He was vaguely aware of the far door swinging
open as Jamie tentatively came out to join them. “Well,” Billy said slowly,
“I’m pretty sure I’m heading off to be grounded for, like, a month. Was there
anything in particular you wanted to see?”
Teddy shrugged helplessly, delicate pink whorls painting his cheeks, up to the
shell of his ears. “Uh, no, not really. It can wait. I just. Was really hoping
maybe we could go on a, um, a date or something. If you wanted.”
A date.
…a date.
The words were ringing in his ears, and he was pretty sure his heart had
stopped, and— And Teddy wanted to go out with him. Teddy wanted to date him,
and maybe Teddy wanted to be boyfriends and, and do this again, and kiss
whenever they wanted, and hold hands as they walked through the snowy parks and
bantered about museums and the Avengers and—
“Jamie, close your eyes,” Billy warned, eyes locked on Teddy’s face, heart
brimming with more joy than he can handle. “And cover your ears.”
“Oh jeez,” Jamie groused.
Teddy just grinned. “I take it that’s a yes?” he said, hope in his voice, like
he wanted all of that too. Like he wanted Billy just as much as Billy wanted
Teddy.
And really…it wasn’t like fifteen more minutes was going to make Billy any more
grounded than he already was.
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