Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/698147.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Glee
  Relationship:
      Blaine_Anderson/Kurt_Hummel
  Character:
      Kurt_Hummel, Blaine_Anderson
  Additional Tags:
      Intersexuality, Explicit_Sexual_Content, Sweet, Dubious_Consent
  Series:
      Part 1 of Naked_Around_You
  Stats:
      Published: 2011-08-21 Completed: 2013-02-24 Chapters: 10/10 Words: 13941
****** Naked Around You ******
by likeasouffle
Summary
     Blaine isn't completely male. He's EXTREMELY uncomfortable about
     going farther than making out and grinding because he doesn't want
     Kurt to find out, and Kurt is getting tired of being rejected.
     (The "rape/non-con" warning is there because Kurt repeatedly pushes
     Blaine's boundaries in sexual contexts, and this could be triggering
     to some people. It's not traumatic for Blaine, but he is hesitant and
     doesn't explicitly say yes.)
     (There is sex between characters who are about 16-17.)
***** Chapter 1 *****
Having a boyfriend is amazing. Going on picnics, holding hands, serenading each
other, exchanging sickeningly adorable texts like "I miss you already xxoo..."
Kurt has smiled and laughed more in the last month than he has in... probably
the previous year. Maybe two. He had always known the romantic aspects of a
relationship would be fantastic.
But what had never occurred to him was how much pleasure he would get from the
more physical side of things. Actually he had occasionally worried about how he
might react to being pressured into sexual situations before he was ready. It
turns out, sexual situations are amazing and there's no pressure required to
convince him to kiss more deeply, to press the entire length of his body
against Blaine's and grind against him more firmly, to allow his shirt to be
removed so Blaine can touch and lick him more intimately. It all feels so good,
and he has never once felt like he was being forced into something he didn't
want.
If anything, he's starting to have the opposite problem. He's starting to want
to put pressure on Blaine. Blaine, who seems so confident, and sure of himself,
and who had once offered to tell Kurt what he knows about sex, and who had even
convinced Kurt's dad it was time to have The Talk. Blaine, who struts around
singing flirty songs, and sometimes entirely inappropriate songs about toys in
drawers and rubbing up on legs, smirking and making eyes at crushes and friends
and even total strangers like sex is all he has on his mind and there's nothing
wrong with that.
And Kurt is the one who's feeling like things aren't progressing fast enough.
Blaine is so hot, his touches and kisses feel so intense, they make Kurt's skin
feel warm, tingly, alive with energy and desire. He wants more, and he wants to
give Blaine more too. His fantasies have started to revolve around how it would
feel to suck Blaine's penis, how big it would be in his hand, what it would
look like hard and extending up toward Blaine's belly button.
Kurt's mind has never been quite so dirty before. His fantasies had always been
sort of vague flashes of feeling and images of being undressed and touched,
with some occasional focus on nicely-shaped abs and backsides and arms. But
never anything as lurid and specific as the actual act of sex. This is all new,
and it's all due to having such an attractive man so close to him, so willing
to touch and kiss him, but just barely out of reach. It's driving Kurt crazy.
So Kurt has decided to take the initiative and make the first move. All the
first moves, if necessary. The thought makes him blush and sweat with
nervousness, but it has to be done. One of them has to move things along or
they'll never get anywhere. He and Blaine are making out in the backseat of
Kurt's car, at night, in a secluded area surrounded by trees, (cliche, but they
have limited opportunities for privacy, so what can you do?) when he finally
gets up the courage.
Kurt is kneeling, straddling Blaine, leaning forward into him. Blaine is
sitting sideways on the seat, his back up against the car door, his thighs
trapped under Kurt, whose shirt is unbuttoned. Blaine's has been entirely
removed. Kurt is kissing his neck, exploring his chest, making him moan and
writhe breathlessly. He starts moving one hand down Blaine's side, past his
ribcage, over his waist, to the top edge of his jeans.
He keeps kissing Blaine's neck, and bends his body to make a space between
them. He traces the fabric around to the front, and lightly, timidly, moves his
hand down, to touch Blaine's private parts through his clothes. He hasn't even
had time to find and touch his erection when Blaine grabs his wrist and pulls
his hand up and away.
Kurt moves to kiss Blaine's mouth, nibbles his lower lip in a way that always
makes him moan, and moves his hand back down again.
Blaine turns his head away from Kurt's persistent mouth. "Stop." He grabs
Kurt's wrist and doesn't let go this time, until Kurt backs off to look into
his eyes.
"Why?"
Blaine's lips are red and his eyes are dark with lust. He's panting. "Just...
don't. I can't. It's -"
"I just want to touch you. It'll feel good."
"I know, but I can't. Please, just... It's complicated."
Kurt kisses Blaine's lips, feels him buck up against him, feels his hands
gripping him. "You like what we're doing so far."
"Yes."
"Do you want me?"
"Yes."
Kurt studies Blaine's face, watches his chest move as he breathes deeply. "Are
you... afraid of, um" his voice quiets to nearly a whisper. "Coming? Because I
kind of really want you to."
Blaine turns his head to the side and looks away from Kurt. "It's not that.
It's something else. I really really don't want to talk about it." He's
blushing.
Kurt frowns. "Blaine. Look at me." He waits for Blaine to meet his gaze. "Tell
me the truth. Are you actually attracted to me? Or am I turning you off? Am I
making weird faces or noises or something...?"
"No! No, you're not doing anything wrong." Blaine cups Kurt's face in his
hands. "You're great. You're hot. I promise. I really do want you." He kisses
Kurt tenderly.
Kurt sighs. "Then why can't I touch you?"
"I swear, it's not anything you've done. It's something about me. I'm just,
I'm... weird. I don't know. I can't tell you yet, but I swear I really want to
go further with you. I just can't yet."
Kurt tilts his head and searches Blaine's face. He shifts his hips.
Blaine's eyes are drawn by the movement, and he gasps and brings his hands down
to the button of Kurt's pants. "I could do something for you though. I'd like
to. If you want me to."
Kurt pushes his hands away and sighs. "No. I don't want it to be one-sided."
"I really don't mind..."
"No. If I can't do anything for you, you can't do anything for me. Fair's
fair."
Blaine pulls back and slumps against the car door. He nods. "Fine."
Kurt tilts his head back and takes a long, slow breath. "I'm sorry for
pressuring you," he says through gritted teeth. "It won't happen again."
***** Chapter 2 *****
Kurt and Blaine continue to kiss and touch, every chance they get, just like
before, and Kurt doesn't bring it up again for eight days. Eight days of hot,
intense make out sessions that are still exciting but just a little more
confusing than before because he knows they won't progress into anything
deeper. They still feel really good, they still make him hard and breathless,
but he feels like he's waiting for what comes next and he doesn't know when
it'll happen.
But now they're in one of those rare situations where they're completely alone,
kissing and grinding on the bed, with no risk of getting caught. Blaine's
father is out of town and his mother has some important meeting all afternoon.
She had said she would call if she can't make it home for supper. They have
hours, and Kurt is unbearably turned on, pressing himself against Blaine's hip,
pleasure shooting through him, and everything is hands and skin and moans and
gasps.
Blaine seems just as turned on as Kurt feels. He's shirtless, his eyes are
closed and he's writhing and bucking under Kurt, panting and digging his
fingers into Kurt's sides. He's desperate and out of control. This is the
moment. Right now. Kurt kisses Blaine hard and thrusts his hips against him,
and presses his hand down between them, slides it against Blaine's crotch,
searching, trying to feel his erection, wanting to grip it and stroke it...
"No!" Blaine pushes Kurt away and pulls himself backward up the bed, leans
against the headboard, panting, red-faced and wide-eyed.
"I'm sorry! Blaine..." Kurt crawls toward him slowly and puts a hand on his
shoulder. "I'm sorry. I thought you'd like it. I didn't mean to freak you out."
Blaine closes his eyes.
"Blaine?"
"I did like it."
Kurt frowns. "Then... why all the panic? What did I do?"
Blaine keeps panting, quick, shallow breaths, like he can't calm down. "I have
to tell you something." He keeps his eyes closed. His chin wobbles, like he's
going to cry.
Oh my god. Maybe this is some kind of post traumatic stress thing. Maybe Blaine
has been sexually assaulted or something. Oh please no...
"I'm -" Blaine takes another breath.
"It's ok. You can tell me anything. I'm right here." Kurt strokes Blaine's
shoulder worriedly.
"Ok." Blaine rubs his face with his hand. "Ok. I'm, the thing is, I don't
look... how you'd expect. I mean my body is," he opens his eyes. "It's weird,
Kurt. I have this, um, abnormality..."
Kurt scrunches his eyebrows together. "What does that mean? Are you sick?"
"No, no, I'm perfectly healthy, I'm just not normal. It's, um, a condition,
that I was born with. But it's never going to get any better, or worse. It's
just, I'm, below the waist, it's really strange, and I'm not sure what you'd
think, if you saw it, or, you know, felt it, and figured it out, and you might
be turned off, or grossed out, I mean you really could react any number of
ways, I just don't know..."
"Wait. So," Kurt sits back on his heels and rests his hands on his thighs.
"You're not freaking out from me touching you? You're not like, traumatized or
something?"
"No."
"You're just embarrassed about me knowing what you look like naked?"
"I'm telling you, Kurt, it's not normal."
"Whatever." He waves a hand impatiently. "So none of this is my fault?"
"No, of course not."
Kurt nods and looks Blaine over. Clothed, he looks fine. Kurt can't tell what
the problem could be. "What condition do you have exactly?"
"I'm so not ready to go there, Kurt, please don't make me say it."
"Well, can you still have sex?"
"Yeah. As far as I know."
"Would it feel good if I touched you there?"
Blaine gasps. "Yes."
"Then let me."
Blaine licks his lips and shakes his head. His eyes never leave Kurt's. "I
can't. Please."
Kurt sighs. He looks around the room, as if looking for a solution. He raises
one eyebrow as a thought occurs to him. He reaches down to the foot of the bed
for the spare blanket that's folded neatly there. He pulls it up over Blaine,
covering him completely up to his shoulders. Then he lies himself down
alongside Blaine, on top of the blanket, and kisses him.
Blaine pulls back from the kiss looking confused. "What's going on?"
"We're going to do an experiment. If it makes you uncomfortable, that's fine,
we'll do something else. But I just want to try this."
Blaine nods and kisses Kurt needily. He sinks down and lays his head on the
pillow, and moves against Kurt, under the blanket, rocking his hips up. He
struggles to move his arms, trapped as he is by the blanket. He laughs. "Just a
sec, I want to get my arms out. I want to touch you."
Kurt shakes his head. "It's not me you're going to be touching."
"Oh." Blaine blushes. "You mean I should..."
"Touch yourself."
"But I... You..."
"I'm not going to see you. It's fine. I promise you're completely safe." Kurt
kisses along Blaine's jaw, down his throat, making him moan. "I want you to do
it while I kiss you."
"Oh..." Blaine bucks up against Kurt and turns his head to give Kurt easier
access to his neck. He moans and moves his arm slowly under Kurt, shoulder
muscles tensing.
Kurt hears the zipper. He sucks and licks Blaine's neck, listens to his heavy
breath, feels his arm moving rhythmically, sliding up and down his body, slowly
at first, but getting faster. His moans are getting louder.
Kurt is still so hard and the way Blaine is moving under him feels so good. The
breathy sounds he's making, the taste of his skin, the thought of Blaine
coming, right here, right in front of him... Kurt undoes his own pants, one-
handed, and reaches into his underwear to stroke himself. It feels so good, so
intense, having Blaine right here with him. He's not going to last.
Blaine turns his face toward Kurt's, finds his mouth, kisses him hard, gasping.
His eyes are closed. His movements are faster, jerky, frantic. His mouth is
open, no longer kissing, just pressing against Kurt mindlessly, moaning. He
tilts his head back, arches his back - "Ah!" His arm stills as he gasps and his
entire body jerks.
"Blaine..." Kurt's hand is a blur as he presses his face into Blaine's neck and
starts to come, a bright shock of pleasure, the feel of Blaine's body under
him. His come shoots onto the blanket.
He kisses Blaine's neck. "Oh..." He pulls his hand away and rocks into the
blanket, causing surges of aftershocks against Blaine's body. He exhales, a
long, slow release of breath, and gets up on one elbow to kiss Blaine's face.
Blaine smiles into the kisses. "You're awesome."
"This is a surprise?" Kurt is breathless and blushing.
"Never." Blaine laughs and kisses his cheek.
"Maybe from now on you'll listen to me more often."
"If it leads to orgasms I am... definitely going to be taking your opinion into
consideration."
Kurt raises an eyebrow. "If?"
"And at all other times too. Is what I meant to say."
Kurt laughs. "That's more like it."
***** Chapter 3 *****
It's almost another week before they're blessed with an entire afternoon of
privacy again. It's unsurprising that it's at Blaine's house again, since his
mom and dad are so busy, and since Finn is a little less predictable than
either set of parents. Kurt and Blaine show great restraint and manage to wait
a full thirty seconds after Mrs. Anderson's car leaves the driveway before
bolting up the stairs to the bedroom, laughing.
Kurt embraces Blaine, finds his lips with his own, kicks the bedroom door
closed behind him, and walks him backward to the bed. Blaine falls back onto
it, grinning, trying not to lose contact with Kurt's mouth. He shuffles up the
bed until his head is on the pillow. Kurt crawls over him on his hands and
knees and sucks Blaine's lower lip. He lowers his body to grind down against
Blaine, to get some friction against his hardening cock. Blaine moans and ruts
up against him.
With his hips still pressed against Blaine's, Kurt raises his torso up a bit,
so there's room to slide his hand down Blaine's stomach. He reaches his belly
button just as Blaine's eyes widen in panic and he grabs both Kurt's shoulders,
gripping hard - not pushing him away, just holding him there.
Kurt kisses him. He strokes his fingers up and down across Blaine's stomach. He
grinds his hips down.
Blaine rolls his eyes back at the feeling, breathing hard, blushing. "Kurt..."
"Ssh." Kurt undoes Blaine's button one-handed, slides down the bed so he's
kneeling next to Blaine's legs, starts pulling the zipper down, slowly...
"I'm... I..." Blaine's face is turning redder. He watches, wide-eyed, and
brings both hands down toward his crotch, as if to cover himself up. His hands
hesitate on his hips.
Kurt pulls Blaine's pants open. He catches Blaine's eye and lets his hand hover
in the air a moment, just inches away from his goal.
Blaine shifts, flinches, tenses his whole body, but doesn't make any move to
stop this.
Kurt lowers his hand, finally, to feel Blaine through his underwear. He feels
it, at last, and... he's disappointed to find that Blaine's penis is still
small. Apparently this isn't even turning him on. Kurt rubs and squeezes it
through the cloth, feeling a little hurt, but then Blaine gasps and throws his
head back, and his penis twitches. And Kurt realizes that it isn't soft at all.
It's hard, really hard, solid in his hand. Just... small.
Could this be the horrible abnormality Blaine had warned him about? The
freakish thing that would supposedly turn Kurt off and gross him out? Nothing
but a small penis? Kurt almost laughs, it's so silly. He can see why it would
be embarrassing, but all this build up. So much stress over nothing.
As Kurt keeps rubbing and touching, Blaine remains stiff, nervous, his hands
clenching and unclenching, his breath harsh and uneven, still blushing, still
watching for Kurt's reaction. But he starts moving his hips up into Kurt's
touch. He starts making soft little moans, and cutting them off, like he can't
control them.
Kurt uses both hands to pull Blaine's pants and underwear down a bit, just
enough to expose his penis, nothing else. Blaine's whole body goes still,
except his chest, rising and falling with his breaths. Kurt returns his hand to
Blaine's penis and rubs it, skin on skin, and the contact makes Blaine jerk and
buck.
"Oh that feels so good."
Then the strangest thing happens. As Blaine moans and spreads his legs, his
balls inside his underwear seem to... fall, down, to the bed, like they're not
even attached to him. Kurt keeps rubbing with one hand and uses the other to
reach into Blaine's underwear to feel... to feel... Whatever it is, it's not
part of Blaine's body. It's a squishy, roundish - something, rubber or
silicone, and - Oh my god, Blaine stuffs his underwear. Blaine doesn't have any
balls.
Kurt very briefly stops rubbing Blaine - "Oh god please don't stop" - so he can
pull Blaine's underwear down a little further and look. He has to know... He
returns his hand to Blaine's penis, to the sound of grunting and sighing, and
sees, between Blaine's legs, it looks like a... like a slit. Like girl parts.
He runs the finger of his free hand down it. "Oh! Oh!" It's moist inside, and
touching it makes Blaine thrash around uncontrollably. He presses in a little
and, yes, there's an opening, that goes deeper...
"Oh fuck oh god Kurt oh my fucking..." It's soft and slick around his finger,
and it squeezes again and again. Blaine is apparently extremely sensitive
there, and he's practically crying now, gasping, bucking his hips, arching his
back, gripping his own hair in his fingers. "Please please fuck oh god!" Kurt
pumps his finger in and out of Blaine's, um, his vagina, if that's what it is,
strokes around the inner walls of it, presses back against it when it squeezes.
It's hard to keep up, with Blaine bucking and thrashing like that. He moves his
other hand to Blaine's hip to hold him a little more still.
Kurt lowers his head to wrap his lips around Blaine's... penis? "Oh oh yes so
close so close" or is this what a clitoris looks like when it's hard? Kurt has
no idea. He sucks and licks it, strokes his tongue hard against the tip of it,
swipes across the under side. Is Blaine a girl? But he's so... His chest hair,
his stubble. Maybe he takes hormones. Maybe he's had chest surgery. Do they
even let teenagers do that? It's hard to coordinate sucking and licking with
fucking his finger in and out, but he does it. "Kurt I'm going to-!"
Blaine clamps down hard around Kurt's finger, like he's trying to push it out,
and hot come shoots into Kurt's mouth. It's thick, and bitter. Blaine wails. He
tenses and stretches his whole body out, bucks against Kurt's face.
He goes limp and collapses down onto the bed, and his... penis, clitoris,
whatever, twitches in Kurt's mouth. His vagina keeps pulsing and throbbing
around Kurt's finger. He covers his face with both hands and breathes deep.
Kurt gives another lick, making Blaine jerk, before pulling off, and slides his
finger out. It's wet. He strokes Blaine's hip. "Hey."
"Mm."
"Blaine. Come on." Kurt pulls one of Blaine's arms, until Blaine relents and
reveals his flushed face. Kurt smiles. "There you are."
"Hi."
"Hi." Kurt tilts his head. "Was that... ok?"
Blaine nods.
"Really?"
Blaine's voice is so soft he's practically whispering. "I never knew anything
could feel that good."
Kurt smiles so wide. "Yeah?" Kurt did that. Kurt made Blaine feel that way.
Blaine asks "Was it ok for you? Did it freak you out?"
Kurt shakes his head. "I... have a lot of questions. But... later. If that's
ok. I don't really feel like talking right now." He blushes and lays down
beside Blaine, and his erection presses into Blaine's hip.
Blaine looks him over, presses back, and says "That's good." He moves down the
bed and reaches for Kurt's zipper. "'Cause I think I'd have a hard time
answering questions with my mouth full."
***** Chapter 4 *****
"Are you trans?"
Blaine looks confused. "No."
Kurt blushes. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to ask anything stupid, or
offensive..."
"It's not stupid. It just never occurred to me that that's how it would look."
"I mean I'm not saying you look like a girl. Because you don't. But that's
what's confusing..."
"It's ok. You haven't done anything wrong."
Kurt sighs. "Can you just explain it to me? I feel like I'm going to say all
the wrong things."
"Ok." Blaine takes Kurt's hand and squeezes it, and leans forward a bit. He
takes a breath. "I'm intersexed. I'm sort of... in between male and female."
"So, you're a hermaphrodite?"
Blaine pauses, and fidgets, stroking his thumb across Kurt's hand. "That's not
really... I mean that's kind of a politically incorrect word, for people. I
mean, they use it for animals..."
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry Blaine -!"
"It's ok -"
"I didn't know." Kurt holds his free hand over his mouth and shakes his head.
"It's really ok."
Kurt bites his lip. "I can't believe I'm screwing this up already."
"You're not. I don't expect you to know this stuff. People don't really talk
about it..." Blaine hangs his head and shrugs.
"Would it be bad if I ask you why it's politically incorrect?"
"No, it's fine." Blaine gives a small smile. "The word hermaphrodite basically
means a person is both male and female at the same time. It implies that you'd
have two complete sets of reproductive organs, but that's really not how it
works. Everyone only gets one set. It's just, the individual parts can be
anywhere along the spectrum."
Kurt nods, slowly, like he's working it out in his head.
Blaine continues, "Like, for example, you can have either a penis or a
clitoris, or something in between, but not one of each."
"And..." Kurt blushes fiercely as he says this: "Which do you have?"
Blaine laughs. "Mine is really more of a penis, because my urethra goes through
it."
"Girls don't pee through their..."
"No." Blaine turns kind of red too.
Kurt pulls his hand away from Blaine's and covers his face. "I'm sorry. I'm
embarrassing you. And myself. I shouldn't be asking you such personal things."
"Kurt -" Blaine strokes Kurt's hair. "You're my boyfriend. We want to be
intimate with each other. Right?"
Kurt nods, with his hands still over his face.
"It's going to get personal. And that's fine. I want to share this stuff with
you."
"You didn't last week."
"Yeah, well, that was before you blew my mind with oral sex. Things change."
Kurt laughs, and peeks through his fingers. He rubs his face, then lowers his
hands to his lap. "Ok. Um. How come you look like a boy?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I thought it was all hormones. And I thought testosterone came from, you
know, parts. That you don't have."
"I have testicles. They're inside." Blaine points to his abdomen, near his
hipbones.
Kurt's eyes widen. "That can happen?"
Blaine nods.
"So... technically, if you liked girls, you could get someone pregnant.
Hypothetically."
"No. It's way too hot inside the body for sperm to survive. I'm basically
infertile."
"Oh. I'm sorry..." Kurt frowns.
Blaine shrugs. "I've had a long time to get used to it."
Kurt nods, still frowning. "So, do you, since you have, um, a vagina, if that's
what you call it..."
"That's what it is, so..."
"Does that mean you have periods and stuff?"
"No. I don't have ovaries."
"Oh, right. I already knew that. God, sorry."
Blaine laughs. "I told you, it's ok. Why are you so stressed?"
Kurt sighs. "I'm kind of freaking out, ok?"
Blaine's face falls. He looks devastated. He opens his mouth to speak, but
nothing comes out.
"No, not like that. I'm not judging you or anything, I just -"
"I know, it's a lot to take in. I understand if you need some time..."
"I don't want any time! I'm not breaking up with you!" Kurt drags both hands
through his hair and sighs again. "I'm just, I'm, I don't..."
Blaine doesn't reach out to touch him. He just sits, and waits for Kurt to
collect his thoughts.
"I don't know what this means. About me," Kurt says. "I always knew who I was.
I'm in love with someone, attracted to someone, who isn't exactly male. It's
not that I want to be gay, because it really sucks sometimes. It's just that
that's who I am, and it's simple and it makes sense. But today I... had my
finger in somebody's vagina, and I liked it. What does that mean?"
Blaine smiles. "It means life is a lot more complicated than most people would
like to believe. It means you're open-minded, and accepting, and I love you for
it."
"Well I appreciate that, and it's very sweet, but does this mean I have the
potential to fall in love with other people who have vaginas? With girls? And
does this mean we're not going to have anal sex now? Because it took a hell of
a lot to become ok with that idea, and now maybe sex is going to look a lot
different than I thought it was going to, and everything's just as
unpredictable and scary as it was before those stupid useless pamphlets..."
"Well, we still could have anal sex... If you want to..."
"And what happens if we break up?" Kurt is getting more and more worked up,
speaking faster and gesturing wildly with his hands. "I mean what if we're
together for like ten years and then break up? How do I explain to my next
boyfriend that I was with a guy for ten years but I've never really had gay
sex? It's not going to make sense, and I don't -"
"Ok, stop. Just stop this right now." Blaine crosses his arms and fixes Kurt
with an angry stare.
"What...?"
"I'm not going to let you sit here with me and plan out what you're going to
say to your next boyfriend. Seriously Kurt. That is not ok."
Kurt's eyes widen. "Oh, no, Blaine, I didn't mean..."
"Either you're here with me, right now, and we figure out how to make things
work, together, and how to give each other pleasure, or... we deal with the
possibility that this isn't going to work. Because that's what sex is about,
right? Making each other feel good? And before the internet, people couldn't
just Google for a tutorial on how sex works. They had to figure it out for
themselves, by experimenting, and communicating with each other, trying new
things... And that's what we have to do. Maybe it's not what you expected, but
that's all you're going to get with me. This is how it's going to be."
"Blaine, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry -"
Blaine exhales, a long, frustrated sound. "It's... Whatever. I expected you to
freak out, so..."
"No but I don't - I don't have a problem with your body. Not really. I swear."
Blaine raises an eyebrow. "You just need to figure out how to explain our sex
life to other people."
"No! I... well. Yes. Maybe. It's just so... I just have so many other ways that
I'm not normal..."
"Since when do you care about normal? And since when does anyone else have any
say in what goes on between us in private?"
Kurt shakes his head. "They don't. You're right."
"Especially hypothetical future boyfriends."
Kurt chances a smile. "Who might not even exist. Because we might never break
up."
"Exactly." Blaine pulls Kurt toward himself and kisses him firmly on the mouth.
"Just... I want you to feel free to talk to me about this. And it's ok if
you're scared. Just don't talk to me about what happens when we break up. Ok?"
"Ok." Kurt smiles shyly. "Sorry."
"Unless you're actually thinking of breaking up with me."
Kurt kisses him back and takes his hand. "I'm really really not."
***** Chapter 5 *****
Once again, it's a few days before they get any decent form of privacy. They
get to Kurt's house and find that although Finn and Rachel are murmuring softly
behind a closed door, there are no parents home. So the second they get into
the bedroom and shut the door, Kurt backs Blaine against the wall and kisses
him hard. He bunches his hands in Blaine's shirt, thrusts his hips forward,
slides one leg between both of Blaine's.
Kurt's been half-hard since they left the coffee shop, and now that they're
actually touching, kissing, grinding, his heart is racing and his skin is on
fire. He's growing harder fast, as he lowers his head to suck marks into the
place where Blaine's neck and shoulder meet.
Blaine leans back against the wall, moans softly and thrusts forward against
Kurt's body. He has one hand on Kurt's waist, and the other he lowers to
squeeze his ass. He whispers, "God, Kurt, I can feel it."
"Mm?" Kurt raises his head to meet Blaine's eyes.
"I can feel your..." He blushes, "cock." He lowers his eyes, and pulls Kurt
closer with his hands.
"Oh. Wow..." Kurt thrusts harder against him, triggering a surge of pleasure
from his, from his cock - it's so dirty the way Blaine says it - to the tips of
his toes. He sucks Blaine's earlobe, to hear him gasp, then says "I wish I
could feel that. I wish I could feel how hot you are for me, just by pressing
against you like this."
He can feel it when Blaine's whole body goes stiff. It's like the air in the
room has changed. Blaine moves his hands to Kurt's stomach and pushes him ever
so slightly away. He frowns as he looks into Kurt's eyes. "You wish I was...
bigger?"
"No, Blaine, that's not what I meant." Kurt keeps bucking his hips, and smiles
in a way he hopes is flirty, trying to be reassuring, trying to bring the mood
back to what it had been a second before. "I just meant... that sounds hot. If
I could feel this, from your point of view..." He slides one hand up Blaine's
chest and down again, to stroke him through his pants. "The sounds you make
when I touch you. It must feel amazing."
Kurt watches Blaine shut his eyes and take in a sharp breath, and feels him
push forward with his hips. He undoes the button of Blaine's pants with his
free hand, and starts on the zipper.
"Kurt!" Blaine whispers in a panic. "Finn and Rachel are in the next room!" He
grabs at Kurt's hands.
Kurt ignores him and starts pulling Blaine's pants and underwear down. "They
won't bother us. They're too absorbed in each other."
"No!" Blaine pulls his underwear back up with shaking hands. "I can't be naked,
Kurt, there are people around."
"They're not going to just burst in here without knocking."
"But they could. They're like ten feet away." Blaine's eyes are wide. He
swallows hard.
Kurt sighs, and looks Blaine over for a moment. "Fine. You don't have to be
naked. But I'm telling you, this would be way easier if you were." He slides
his hand down into Blaine's underwear, fondles him a bit before going lower
("Oh, oh Kurt...") and pressing just the tip of his finger into Blaine's
vagina, up to the first knuckle. It's slick, and hot. He feels it pulse.
He hears Blaine gasp and feels him jerk roughly against him. He bends his wrist
and pushes in deeper. His movements are restricted by Blaine's clothes, too
many clothes, but Blaine is panting and writhing wildly, spreading his legs
wider, clawing at Kurt's chest. His mouth is frozen open like he's trying not
to shout.
Blaine reaches down into his underwear to rub the flat of his hand desperately
against his penis. He presses it against his own body, squeezes it between two
fingers, throws his head back against the wall. Kurt struggles to keep his
finger inside, jostling with Blaine's arm for room to move.
Blaine squeezes around Kurt's finger and gasps as he comes. All over Kurt's arm
and his own hand. His body shakes and his knees go weak. He pants and licks his
lips. "Ohh...."
Kurt pulls his hand out, making Blaine twitch as he brushes over all his most
sensitive parts. Then he goes to the laundry basket and finds a white
undershirt to use to wipe the come off his arm. He brings his hand up to
Blaine's face, cups his cheek, and kisses him. Blaine shudders through the
kiss, still squeezing his penis.
Kurt offers the shirt to him, and Blaine wipes his hands, tosses the shirt at
the basket, pulls his pants back up. He kneels on the floor in front of Kurt.
He puts his hands on Kurt's thighs, and just looks up at him for a moment,
breathing deeply. Then he strokes Kurt's erection through his jeans before he
undoes them. Kurt is wearing no other layers of clothing, and suddenly there's
nothing between Blaine's lips and Kurt's cock. He kisses it, and takes it in
his hand. He licks it.
Kurt leans against his arm on the wall behind Blaine and exhales. It feels so
good. Blaine's lips around his cock, making him buck forward, making him think
about fucking Blaine's face. He moans.
He thinks about the way Blaine had looked when he came, shuddering and gasping.
Oh god he can feel Blaine's tongue, stroking across the head of his cock.
Suction, oh yes he's swallowing around it. He pumps slowly in and out of
Blaine's mouth, reaches down with one hand to hold Blaine's head. Oh it feels
amazing. He's almost there...
Suddenly he hears Finn's voice outside the door. "Kurt?" He opens his eyes and
holds perfectly still, his heart pounding in his chest. Fuck. Fuck. What should
he do? His mind seizes in his panic. If he says Don't come in! Finn might not
hear the Don't. His cock twitches in Blaine's mouth. Blaine is on the floor,
looking up at him, wide-eyed, drooling around his cock.
"Go away!" Kurt shouts.
"Are you, like... busy?"
"Yes!"
He listens to Finn's retreating footsteps and the muffled sound of Finn's door
closing. He sighs, relieved, and drops his head down onto his arm, still
leaning against the wall. "Keep going. Just keep going."
Blaine makes a question-shaped noise. "Mm?"
"Please, I was so close."
Kurt can't help thrusting forward. His grip tightens in Blaine's hair. Kurt's
face is flaming red, and he's surging with adrenaline from the shock of almost
being caught, but his panic somehow turns to lust, and every sensation is so
fucking good.
He can feel the back of Blaine's throat, tight around him. The sick slurping
sounds. Lips, tongue, hands.
He groans out a long, strained sound and jerks forward into Blaine's face as he
comes, hot and wet, into his mouth. He shudders, moans, pulls Blaine's hair a
little harder than he means to.
Blaine swallows, coughs a little. Some come dribbles out of his mouth around
Kurt's cock. Swallows some more. He licks and sucks Kurt's cock until he's
guided off of it by his hair. He wipes his mouth.
Kurt kneels down and presses forward to kiss Blaine hard, leaning him back
against the wall. He's panting and dazed, eyes half-closed. "That was so good.
You were so good." He lays his head against Blaine's shoulder.
"But you -" Blaine starts. "I mean I'm glad, that it was good. But -"
"But what?"
"I don't understand how you could just keep going, after that happened. If it
had been me, if I had been all, exposed when that happened, it would have been
horrifying. I wouldn't have been able to deal with it."
Kurt kisses him again. "It felt so amazing Blaine. It's ok. I won't try to make
you take your clothes off again. Not when someone else is in the house."
Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt. "Thank you."
"I'm sorry I tried to make you do that."
Blaine kisses Kurt's cheek and takes in a deep breath. "Do you think you should
check what Finn wanted?"
"Enh." Kurt shrugs and rests against Blaine's chest. "Later."
***** Chapter 6 *****
Kurt's horrible, grouchy mood improves dramatically when Blaine arrives at his
house, carrying two coffees, one for each of them.
"Oh my god, I love you. Gimme." Kurt takes his nonfat mocha and closes his eyes
as he takes a sip. "Mm... Best boyfriend ever."
Blaine laughs and kicks off his shoes. They both head into the living room to
lounge on the couch. "What was so bad about today anyway? Anything I should be
worried about?"
"Not really, just Puck, being an asshole as usual. It's not a big deal."
"What did he do? I'll kick his ass." Blaine smirks.
Kurt rolls his eyes and manages to crack a smile. "My hero." He takes another
sip. "It was just a stupid conversation, when he was here watching TV with
Finn. He's a jerk."
Blaine sips from his own coffee and pats Kurt's knee. "Why don't you tell me
what happened?"
"Well at first they were ignoring me, talking about their love lives. How hard
Lauren makes Puck work for it, how Rachel won't 'put out' at all, that kind of
thing." He makes a disgusted face. "I almost left the room, because I did not
need to hear about how awesome Rachel's boobs are, believe me."
Blaine laughs into his coffee cup.
"But then Puck started going on about how in almost every relationship, there's
a prude, and it's always the girl. So naturally, he started trying to figure
out which one of us is the girl in our relationship."
Blaine's expression turns more serious, but he doesn't interrupt.
"He was like 'Either you both want it all the time - which, if you did, you
wouldn't be sitting here with us right now - or one of you is putting the
brakes on.' Can you believe that?"
Blaine shakes his head. "Incredible."
"So I was like 'Shut up Puck, you don't know what you're talking about,' and he
just kept on going, like the neanderthal that he is. Like 'It's you isn't it?
Protecting your precious virtue, making poor Blaine suffer like that.'"
"What did you do?"
"Nothing, I don't know. I was in shock. He was like 'I know you don't know
this, 'cause you don't have one, but a man can't help but think with his dick.
And you're probably giving your boyfriend blueballs.' It was horrible."
"Didn't Finn say anything about it?"
"He just laughed and told him to quit it. God." Kurt rubs his face with his
hand and sighs deeply. "How long until I can leave this stupid, backward town?"
Blaine nods in agreement. "Asshole. I really will kick his ass for you if you
want."
Kurt grins, and leans in to kiss Blaine. "That's why you're my favorite."
Blaine raises his eyebrows. "Favorite what exactly?"
"My favorite of all my boyfriends. Obviously." Kurt sticks his tongue out.
"Oh really." Blaine chuckles and sips his coffee. "Don't worry. This time next
year we'll be in New York, mocking all these small-minded jerks from the safety
of our twenty-fourth story apartment."
"Ooh, and doing nothing but music and fashion for our homework."
"Working in a fancy upscale menswear boutique on the weekend?"
"And not having any roommates or anything, so we can walk around naked whenever
we want."
Blaine looks at Kurt, startled. "Really?"
"Really what?"
"You'd really want me to walk around our apartment naked?"
Kurt laughs and shoves Blaine lightly in the arm. "Of course, you're my hot
boyfriend! Why wouldn't I want you to?"
"Well I just, it's just that when I'm naked, I don't exactly look like... your
boyfriend..."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well I just. You know..." Blaine blushes. "It's just that Puck might have been
sort of wrong about which one of us is the girl..."
Kurt makes a face. "Blaine, don't be stupid. You're not a girl. We both know
you're not."
"I know that, I just... The more you saw me naked, the more you'd have to be
reminded, about my, uh..."
"I told you, I don't have a problem with your body." Kurt dismisses that notion
with a wave of his hand. "Anyway, that's a year away. I would hope I'll have
seen enough of you by then to be used to it."
"Yeah, by then you will. I just didn't think you'd be thinking about that stuff
already. I mean, just the other day you said you wished my body was more like
yours..."
Kurt tilts his head. "What? When did I say that?"
"When I said I could feel, uh... you, and you said you wished you could feel me
too..."
"Oh, Blaine..." Kurt takes Blaine's drink from him and puts both cups on the
coffee table. He puts an arm around Blaine's shoulders and snuggles into his
side. "I didn't mean it like that. And sure, maybe I've thought about it.
Before, when I didn't know yet. I imagined you naked, and it involved... body
parts pretty similar to mine, partly because that's all I have experience with.
And I thought it would be hot."
Blaine nods, frowning.
"But then I found out what you really look like, and that's even hotter."
Blaine snorts and makes a disbelieving face.
"Honestly," Kurt says. "The real thing is so much better than a fantasy." He
kisses Blaine's neck softly. "I love touching you. I love the way you move, and
the sounds you make... I admit I'm not used to it yet. It's all new and it's
still kind of weird. But when we're together, and I'm the one that gets to make
you fall apart, it's so sexy. I can't even describe it."
Blaine turns his head and meets his eyes. "Really?"
"Really." Kurt kisses Blaine's mouth, then deepens the kiss, and strokes
Blaine's chest with his hand.
Blaine pulls back enough to say "Wanna go upstairs and prove how sexy it is?"
Kurt laughs. "My dad will be home any second. Sorry."
"Drat."
"So just snuggles I guess." Kurt kisses Blaine's cheek.
Blaine picks up his coffee so he can keep drinking it while giving one-armed
snuggles. "So... you still find it weird."
"Yeah. Not because of how you look, or how it feels or anything. Just because
of, you know, what it says about me. We've already talked about this. I don't
want to bore you."
"Kurt, you could never bore me. I want you to talk about it, if it's on your
mind."
"Ok, well," he blushes. "I might have been sort of... checking out girls
lately."
"Really?" Blaine smirks and tries not to laugh.
"Yeah, you know, to see if I'm interested in them now."
"And?"
"I'm so not. There's no interest at all."
Blaine really does laugh now. "I'm shocked. This comes as a complete surprise."
"Shut up, it was a useful experiment. It's just that now I'm just as confused
as before."
"Why? You like guys, you've always liked guys."
"I know but I also like, uh, doing things to you," Kurt blushes bright red,
"and I've been thinking about having actual, real sex with you. Penetrative
sex. Not of the anal variety."
"Really? You like that idea?" Blaine smiles a surprised, blushing smile.
Kurt nods.
"Cool..." Blaine's eyes glaze over momentarily. "But that still doesn't mean
you just like me for my private parts. You said yourself I'm not a girl. You're
still gay."
"I guess so. I just, I kind of wish I knew what other people would do in this
situation."
"Kurt, there are really only two options. Either they break up or they stay
together. Why do you care what other people would do?"
"No, I just mean, are you sure I still qualify as gay?"
Blaine shrugs. "I don't know, maybe you're not. Maybe you're homoflexible.
Maybe you're pansexual. Maybe you like people based on their personalities, not
what's in their pants. Personally I'd call that a good thing."
Kurt pulls away from Blaine and picks up his own coffee. He takes a long sip
from it, looking pensive. Then he returns to Blaine's side, switching their
positions, so Blaine's arm is around him this time. "You know how I dated
Brittany once?"
"Yeah. Which is still adorable, by the way."
"I tried really hard to be straight that week. I thought the sexiest things
about her I possibly could. In the end I figured I could maybe make it work if
she was secretly a boy. At the time, what parts she had seemed really
important."
Blaine nods. "Maybe stuff like that matters less when you actually have a real
relationship, based on more than just trying to prove something."
"Yeah, maybe you're right." Kurt kisses Blaine's cheek, then slides down a bit
to rest his head against Blaine's shoulder. "Maybe it matters less when you're
actually in love."
***** Chapter 7 *****
Kurt and Blaine continue to see each other as much as possible over the next
few weeks. They watch movies, go to dinner, shop, sing to each other, and have
really deep conversations late into the night about their respective
childhoods, their goals for the future, important political issues, and
debating who are the hottest guys on TV.
Their physical relationship has reached a kind of plateau; now that they know
some very effective ways of pleasuring each other, with their mouths and their
hands, that's what they continue to do. At every available opportunity. Even,
embarrassingly enough, in the back of Kurt's car sometimes. He's started
keeping a clean hand towel and a package of Wet Wipes in there, just in case.
On this particular day, Blaine's dad is nowhere to be seen and will be gone
overnight, and his mom rushes out the door right after lunch, throwing things
into her briefcase on her way, almost forgetting her keys, and promising to be
home in time for dinner. "If I'm late, we'll order pizza. Love you!" She slams
the door behind her.
Kurt and Blaine sit there on the couch, grinning at each other. "So... what do
you want to do?" Blaine says.
Kurt tilts his head, teasingly, like he has to think about it. "Oh, I'm sure we
can think of something." He stands and leads Blaine upstairs by the hand.
Blaine follows, smiling, blushing.
Once they're inside the bedroom, Kurt closes the door, wraps his arms around
Blaine, and kisses him deeply, pressing their bodies together. He closes his
eyes and rubs up against him, breathing faster, his skin already so sensitive.
Kurt slides his hands down to the hem of Blaine's shirt and starts pulling it
up, over his head, and off, revealing his masculine chest, its toned muscles
and sparse hair. He strokes Blaine's back, kisses his neck, and says shyly
against his skin "I have a problem that I was hoping you could help me with."
"What kind of problem?" Blaine is still grinning, brushing his fingers over
Kurt's waist, feeling under his shirt to touch his skin.
Kurt kisses Blaine's jaw, his cheeks, his lips, as he undoes the button of
Blaine's pants. "I've never seen you naked." He blushes and pulls down the
zipper. "Not completely." He slides his hands under the fabric, smoothing over
Blaine's hips, toying with the elastic of his underwear, and pushes Blaine's
pants to fall to the floor.
Blaine swallows hard. "Oh. Um... Yeah, I think I could do something about
that." He grips Kurt's waist and squirms against his touch. "But I'm pretty
sure you've seen every part of me already, so..."
"Not all at once." Kurt kisses Blaine again, then kneels on the floor, sliding
his hands down Blaine's body on his way, over his sides, down his bare legs. He
pulls one of Blaine's socks down, and prompts him to raise his foot momentarily
so his sock and pant leg can be removed completely, then does the same with the
other foot.
He stays there, stroking his hands up and down Blaine's strong legs for a
moment. He palms his own hardening cock through his clothes. "Anyway, I'm not
sure I really have seen every part of you. I usually look at you from the
front. For example..." He crawls around Blaine's legs to sit behind him and
kisses the back of his knee. "Here." He lowers himself to the floor and kisses
the back of Blaine's ankle. "And here."
Blaine laughs and twists his body to watch. "Kurt, what are you doing? Get back
up here and kiss me. I feel silly."
"But I want to get to know every part of you. Even the parts no one ever sees.
Even the parts you don't really like." He kisses all the way up the back of
Blaine's thigh, then gets up on his knees and presses his lips to Blaine's
spine. He pulls the underwear down, just a little, so he can trace the curve
down with his mouth and kiss Blaine's tailbone. He hears him gasp. He says "Is
that ok?" He kisses the cheek of Blaine's ass through the cloth.
"Yeah. Yes. That's ok." Blaine sounds breathless.
"I want to see you without any clothes, without any of this extra stuff you
hide behind all the time. Especially this -" He reaches around to cup the
padding Blaine always wears in his underwear, to make his clothes hang right,
to make him look 'normal'. "You're gorgeous without it, just the way you are."
Kurt pulls Blaine's underwear slowly down his legs, and watches him kick them
off. He traces his fingers down the cleft of Blaine's ass, not pressing in,
just touching, making him shiver. He kisses the crease where Blaine's ass and
thigh meet, then sucks the skin, gnawing lightly with his teeth.
"Oh! Mm..."
Kurt is aware of Blaine's hand moving to rub and stroke himself eagerly. He
can't see what he's doing exactly, from his position, but he can see Blaine's
arm jerking up and down, and he can hear his quick, strained breaths. Kurt
squeezes his own cock with his free hand, eyes closed, takes a deep breath.
Then he brings his hand up, between Blaine's legs, touches his labia, presses
in, between them, as Blaine bucks and jerks. He slides his finger up, deeper.
"Oh god Kurt. Yes..."
He thrusts in and out, against the tightness, feels it getting slicker. He
pulls out and adds a second finger, and it's so hot and tight inside. He feels
the soft skin squeezing around his fingers. He feels Blaine's body shake as he
strokes himself faster.
"Don't stop, don't stop, please, please..."
Kurt reaches up with his other hand to touch Blaine's ass. He finds his hole
and traces around it, just on the outside, presses it. Blaine's breath gets
harsher, his movements quicker. Kurt keeps touching Blaine's asshole, and
fucking his fingers in and out of Blaine's vagina, as the wetness seeps onto
his knuckles. Blaine gasps, shudders, throws his head back. He jerks, inhales,
tenses. Jerks his whole body again.
Kurt slowly slides his fingers out, and undoes his own zipper. He wraps his
fingers, still wet, around his cock, and starts stroking it, firmly, quickly.
His other hand is still on Blaine's ass. He sees where some of Blaine's come
has hit the carpet, and feels Blaine's body swaying slightly, hears him
panting. He pumps his fist faster, and leans his forehead against the back of
Blaine's leg. He kisses it as he pumps faster, faster, feels his cock hard and
twitching in his hand. He moans, high and breathy as he comes. He raises his
head and leans back a bit, feels his come shoot over his hand, onto his body.
He sits there, feels his pulse pounding throughout his chest and in his head.
Feels the wetness on his hand and his cock. He kisses the back of Blaine's
thigh and starts to stand, holding onto Blaine's body with his dry hand. Once
he gets to his feet, he circles around to face Blaine and kisses him,
breathlessly, needily, moaning softly, arms hanging at his sides.
Kurt steps back and Blaine starts to bend down to pick up his underwear, but
Kurt stops him with a hand on his wrist. "No, wait, just let me look at you
first."
Blaine pauses, but stands again, and curls his fingers, like he needs something
to cling to. He looks at the floor, then at Kurt. Then at the floor again.
"Ok."
Kurt sits on the edge of the bed. He brings his knees together, crosses his
ankles, and rests his hands beside him on the blanket. He takes his time,
looking Blaine over, taking in the way he looks.
Blaine is definitely male. His body is toned, lightly muscled but slim, and his
skin is adorned all over with dark body hair. His chest, the shape of his hips
and waist, even his strong hands - all male. But Kurt's eyes are drawn to his
softening penis, still wet with come, and his labia, and below that, an
anomalous space, a gap between his legs, where any other man would have no such
gap.
"Wow. Blaine. The way you look. I just, seeing all of you, like this..."
Blaine shifts his weight from foot to foot nervously. "What about it?"
"Blaine. You're so..." Kurt takes a breath, then tries to explain. "Here's the
thing. I've always felt like I was a combination of both the male and the
female. I've always tried not to shy away from the female parts of myself, no
matter what anyone else thought." He bites his lip, and searches for the right
wording. "I haven't always been successful at that; sometimes it's easier to
pretend to be... just a boy."
Blaine nods, urging him on.
"But you, your body... I know you're not a girl, I know you're not really male
and female at the same time, but just looking at you... It's like, without even
meaning to, you physically embody the way I've always felt. Inside. You can't
pretend to be anything other than what you are." Kurt looks into his eyes. "You
know?"
Blaine nods. "I think so."
"I just, the way you look... It's like your body is visible proof that there
are more than just two ways to be. That I'm not crazy. That I haven't been
wrong all this time for feeling closer to the middle than the edge."
"Kurt, of course you're not crazy." Blaine steps toward Kurt and strokes his
hair, and kisses his forehead. "There's nothing wrong with you."
Kurt tilts his head up and kisses Blaine's lips. "It's weird. I basically knew
what you would look like. I just, seeing all of you like this, you're so..."
Blaine kisses his cheek. "So... what?"
"You're gorgeous. You look amazing." He puts his arms around Blaine's neck and
pulls him down to straddle his lap. "I can't explain it. I never knew there was
anyone in the world who looked like you. And I'm so glad I'm the one that gets
to see you."
Blaine kisses him again. "I'm glad you are too."
***** Chapter 8 *****
Kurt and Blaine are hanging out on Kurt's bed, with the door ajar, listening to
the Cats original cast recording while Kurt puts the finishing touches on a
shirt he's been customizing. It started out as just a t-shirt, but now the neck
is wider and the waist is narrower. Blaine is sitting cross-legged, singing
along as he watches him work.
"Oh, well I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr.
Mistoffelees..."
Kurt smirks and rolls his eyes. "You're a goof."
Blaine stops singing. "What?"
"Nothing." He shakes his head. "Just, most people tend to assume you're the
manlier of the two of us..."
"Oh shut up." Blaine tosses a pillow at Kurt's head.
Kurt shrieks and blocks his sewing from harm. "Seriously, you're such a girl
sometimes."
Blaine sticks his tongue out. "You're a girl."
Kurt laughs, and they fall back into a comfortable silence for a few moments
while Kurt sews. Blaine hums a few lines.
"Can I ask you something?" Kurt says.
"Sure."
"It's personal. It's about, you know, you being intersexed."
Blaine nods. "Ok."
Kurt sews a few finishing stitches, then cuts the thread before he asks. "Am I
the only one who knows?"
Blaine tilts his head and considers the question. "Besides family, and like,
doctors? Pretty much. I've had to tell a few gym teachers, to get out of
changing and showering with everyone else, but..."
"Yikes." Kurt's eyes widen. "That sounds awful."
"Yeah, it was kind of horrifying. But other than that, you're the only one."
Kurt folds his shirt on his lap, and starts packing up his sewing kit. "You
haven't told any friends or anything?"
"No. I thought about telling my best friend once, when I was like, ten. I was
just so sick of keeping this big secret all the time, you know? I felt like I
had to tell someone."
Kurt frowns. "So why didn't you tell him?"
"Well he told me that our other friend's parents were nudists."
Kurt cracks up laughing.
"Which, you know, was weird," Blaine continues, "and he was like 'but I'm not
supposed to tell anyone, so don't let him know that you know.' So I knew he
couldn't keep a secret." He shrugs. "So I didn't tell him."
Kurt's laugh morphs into a sympathetic smile. "You were really that worried
about it? At ten?
"Well, yeah. Kids are assholes. This other kid in my grade got pantsed, in
front of everyone, just for being Jewish." Blaine glares at the bedspread.
"What? Why?"
"I'm pretty sure it was a, um, circumcision-related joke. So yeah, no, I'm
pretty sure it wouldn't have gone well if people had found out about me."
Kurt puts the shirt and sewing kit down on the bedside table and strokes
Blaine's knee. "I'm sorry."
Blaine shrugs again, and extends his arm out to offer snuggles.
Kurt shuffles over to relax into Blaine's embrace, both of them sitting up,
leaning against the wall. "Did you ever talk to like, your parents about it?"
"Oh my god, my parents are so awkward." Blaine shakes his head and chuckles.
"Every time it comes up, it's like getting another sex talk or something.
Like," he switches into a deeper voice, "'You have nothing to be ashamed of,
son. Whatever you're feeling is perfectly natural.'"
Kurt cringes. "Oh god, sex talk. Don't remind me."
"But it like, has to come up sometimes. My parents basically chose my gender
for me, so..."
"What do you mean?"
"Well when I was born, it wasn't obvious if I was a boy or a girl, so they
picked, basically at random. They decided to raise me as a boy. Which is fine,
I mean, I feel like a boy. But it's a coincidence. They just happened to be
right."
"Wow. That's..." Kurt trails off, looking completely stunned.
"What?"
"Just, if my parents had raised me as a girl, god, everything would have been
so much easier."
"You think so?"
Kurt fidgets with the hem of Blaine's sleeve. "Yeah, I mean, the things I liked
- tea parties, musicals, decorating, fashion, boys - not to mention how skinny
I was and how high my voice was..."
"But do you feel more like a girl than a boy?"
"No." Kurt frowns. "I mean, I don't feel particularly attached to being male,
but I don't feel particularly female either, so it wouldn't be worth it to
change anything at this point. It's just, god, I could have gotten so much less
crap from everyone..."
"But then dating would have been hard. You'd have had to eventually explain it
to your boyfriend."
"Are you kidding? Dating has been pretty freaking hard as it is. Anyway maybe
I'd have ended up with someone who'd understand."
"Like I did with you?" Blaine smiles.
"Exactly." Kurt kisses Blaine's cheek. "Do you find it weird that your parents
made that decision for you?"
"No, I don't know. It's not like they could put it off until I was old enough
to decide for myself. And anyway my mom has checked in with me about it a bunch
of times, to see if I still feel like a boy and I'm still ok with it, so..."
"Really?"
"Yeah, the last time was right before I transferred to Dalton. Because they
don't accept girls, so if I changed my mind after that point, I would have had
to change schools again."
"Did she really think you might change your mind? That late in your life?"
"In the middle of my teens? People have figured out their gender much, much
later than that. It was good that she asked."
"So, are you like me? Where it's just like, everyone knows you as a boy, so
changing it would just be a giant hassle?"
"No, I really feel like I'm a boy. On the inside. I feel like if I tried to be
a girl, it would come off as acting, it would be really fake and weird. But
being a boy makes sense."
Kurt lays his head down on Blaine's shoulder. "Hm."
"Which sucks because, well. You know why."
"No. Why?"
"Well, because my body doesn't match how I feel. I don't look right when I'm
naked. I don't think I can have sex the way I imagine it. I don't -"
Kurt raises his head to look at him. "What does that mean? How do you imagine
it?"
"No, I..." Blaine shakes his head. "Kurt. Forget I said anything."
"No, tell me. How do you imagine it?"
"Uh... It's really stupid. I don't think I can explain it."
"Try."
"Kurt, you're going to laugh. You're going to think it's stupid."
"I'm not going to think it's stupid. I promise."
Blaine takes a deep breath. "Well, I just, I imagine having sex the way... any
guy would. You know, being... on top."
Kurt sucks in a breath and raises his eyebrows. "With me?"
Blaine nods, slowly. "Yeah. I think about... being inside you. I'm not sure if
that's even possible. I'm not sure if I can even use a condom properly." He
blushes and looks away. "It just seems like such a ridiculous thing to want so
much, since I know how easy it would be the other way around. Like, you inside
me. It makes sense. I have the parts for it. Just... I keep thinking about how
it would feel, with you... surrounding me, how I would, uh..." he picks at one
of his fingernails nervously, "slide into you..."
Kurt blushes as well. "It's not ridiculous at all. Blaine... I feel the same
way. I understand why you want that."
"Really?"
Kurt nods. "And it's ok... if you want to try it. Some time. If you want to try
anything."
"You... really?" Blaine gasps.
"I feel like I'm ready to do those things with you. Whether it's anal sex,
or... vaginal sex..."
"Ready?" Blaine sounds breathier and higher pitched than usual.
"Yes." Kurt licks his lips. "I mean, there's no rush or anything, but whenever
you feel like you want to, I think I'm ready. I... bought condoms."
"You did?" Blaine's eyes become even wider.
"It was humiliating. But yes."
"Kurt, that's so..." Blaine's hand on Kurt's shoulder grips tighter. "Why did
you tell me this now, while your dad is home?"
Kurt laughs. "I just thought you should know."
Blaine kisses him hard, and brings his free hand up to cup Kurt's jaw.
Kurt breaks the kiss and looks deep into Blaine's eyes.
"Now I'm not going to be able to think about anything else."
Kurt laughs. "Good. That was my plan all along."
***** Chapter 9 *****
Kurt and Blaine strip each other, laughing and kissing as they do. Blaine feels
his pulse pounding in his throat, adrenaline zapping from his chest to his
fingertips, like the way he'd felt the first time Kurt had unzipped his pants
to expose him and grope him. He can't keep nervous giggles from escaping his
mouth. He feels ridiculous, giddy, and so, so excited.
"I can't believe we're really doing this," Blaine says.
They're up on their knees, facing each other on the bed, kissing each other's
necks, cheeks, lips. Blaine can't stop touching Kurt, his skin is so smooth.
Their lower bodies are separated by the length of Kurt's erection, pressing
into Blaine's stomach, solid and firm. Blaine takes it in his hand to raise it
up, to press it between their bodies, to get closer to him, and Kurt gasps at
his touch. He feels Kurt's hands stroking his body, his waist, his back. It
makes him moan and blush.
"How do you want to do it?" Kurt says. His eyes are closed and his breath wisps
hot against Blaine's neck.
"You, on your... hands and knees."
"Ok." Kurt kisses Blaine's mouth, hard and deep, then turns around to face away
from him on all fours. He reaches over to grab the box of condoms from the
nightstand and hands it back to Blaine. "Do you want me to put it -"
"No. I'll do it." Blaine opens the box and takes one out, and looks at Kurt's
gorgeous ass, spread out before him. He wonders if Kurt feels as exposed and
embarrassed as he imagines he would himself. He watches as Kurt pumps some lube
from a small bottle onto his fingers and reaches back to finger himself,
breathing hard and trembling.
Blaine's sweaty fingers slip at first, but he manages to tear the package open,
and rolls the condom down over the short length of his hard, hypersensitive
penis. It isn't very tight, but he tugs it and it stays in place. He sighs and
runs a hand over his hair. Kurt adds another finger and thrusts in and out, up
to the second knuckle, which is as far as he can reach. He lowers his head,
panting, straining his shoulder back. He pulls his fingers out, exhaling a rush
of breath, and says "Ok."
Blaine takes the lube bottle and spreads some onto his twitching penis. He
watches as Kurt pumps a fist over his own cock a few times. Blaine rests one
hand on Kurt's hip and straightens up, but he isn't tall enough to reach. "Can
you be lower?" His face burns. Kurt spreads his knees wide.
Blaine lines up against Kurt's hole, tingling with energy and lust. He looks at
Kurt's body, naked and tense. He takes a deep breath, and pushes forward, but
slides up along Kurt's crack. "Fuck." He pulls back and lines up again,
squeezes the base of his penis in his hand, pushes, and meets more resistance
than he'd expected. He curses his stupid, flimsy, tiny worthless cock in his
mind as he grimaces and presses forward, and then suddenly he's in.
And the shock of sensation - tight hot slick fuck oh god yessss - is
overwhelming. For a moment he's in ecstasy, he's actually inside Kurt's body.
The incredible squeezing pressure, like nothing he's ever felt, is causing
tingles of pleasure to radiate from his cock throughout his body in waves, and
he never wants it to end. He's making sounds - grunts, gasps, moans - and he
can't seem to stop.
His body stutters backward and he bucks into Kurt again, just a tiny distance
but the slide of his cock into Kurt, it intensifies everything, so he does it
again. He jerks his cock in and out of Kurt, again and again, and just as he's
losing himself in the pleasure he backs up too far and pulls out completely,
sliding against the outside of Kurt's ass again. "Fuck, shit."
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, fine, just -" Blaine clenches his jaw and sighs. "Is this even doing
anything for you?"
Kurt swallows, takes a breath. "I want you to do what you want with me. I want
you to use me."
So Blaine frantically presses his cock against Kurt's hole and pushes forward
impatiently. Just a bit of fumbling, then he's in, bucking lewdly into Kurt,
only risking the tiniest movements at first. Then forgetting himself and
thrusting deeper, grunting, until he accidentally pulls out again, and this
time the fucking condom has slipped off. "Goddammit!"
"Hey." Kurt twists his body to look at Blaine and stroke his knee. "Come on.
Come here." He puts a hand on Blaine's shoulder and guides him to lay down on
the bed on his back.
Blaine's face is red and tears are pricking at the corners of his eyes. "I
wasn't, I couldn't... I just -"
"Ssh, it's ok."
"But I just -!"
"Ssh." Kurt gets up to straddle Blaine and rocks against him. "How did it
feel?"
"I couldn't do it!" Blaine slams his fist down on the mattress, causing an
unsatisfyingly soft thud.
"But while you were inside me. Did it feel good?"
Blaine inhales a long shaky breath. "It felt amazing. It felt incredible. I
didn't want it to stop."
Kurt backs up until he's straddling Blaine's thighs, takes another condom from
the box, unwraps it and rolls it onto Blaine's achingly hard cock.
"What are you...?"
"Just. Let me try this." He adds some lube, crawls forward until he's in
position, reaches under himself to grip Blaine's cock in his hand, and lowers
himself down onto it.
The slide of Blaine's cock into Kurt is just as intense as before, and Blaine
throws his head back and snaps his hips up against Kurt's ass. "Oh!"
"Good?"
"Yes." Blaine starts rutting up against Kurt roughly, and lets all that
pleasure flood through him again. "Please, I can't - Please don't stop, don't
ever stop..."
Kurt stays low, close to Blaine, restricting his movements, and rocks his hips
in small circles. "It's ok, keep going. It's not going to stop. Just keep
going."
"Oh my god..." Blaine is panting and sweating, and he's hot everywhere, and his
pulse pounds in his ears as he thrusts into Kurt, again and again, moaning and
gripping Kurt's waist in his hands. It's so good and he's so hard, so close to
coming already. "Please..."
Kurt's thighs shake with the effort of holding his position, hovering above
Blaine, so close to his body. He squeezes his eyes shut. "Come on Blaine. Fuck
me."
"Ohh god Kurt."
"Fuck me. I want you to come inside me."
And oh fuck Blaine is going to come. "Yes god Kurt, oh fuck, fuck" and he digs
his fingers into Kurt's sides, too hard, and tenses his jaw, his stomach, his
whole body seizes as he thrashes his body up as deep into Kurt as he'll go, and
he comes, hard, shooting into Kurt's body.
He arches his torso and rolls his eyes back, rocking his hips and feeling the
fluttering pleasure of his cock spasming inside Kurt. He lies there, panting,
while his muscles start to loosen up. He lets himself float, oblivious,
completely fucking euphoric, while Kurt comes off of him with a slick sound and
throws away the condom. He drifts, with his eyes closed, half-smiling, until he
feels Kurt pushing his knees, spreading his legs, pressing the head of his cock
there, against Blaine's entrance, trying to push in.
"No, no." Blaine raises his head. "Don't, I can't -"
"I thought, I thought we were -"
"No, I'm not ready..."
And Blaine doesn't even have time to feel nervous, or think about apologizing,
before Kurt lowers his head down onto Blaine's chest and starts jerking off
over Blaine's hip with breathless, frenzied motions. Blaine lays back and
listens to the rhythmic slapping of skin on skin, feels the tremors through the
bed, tunes in to his own slowing heartbeat. And yes, the euphoria is still
there, relaxing his body, filling his mind with this strange bliss, sending
tingles to his fingertips.
Kurt groans, low in his throat, and comes onto Blaine's hip and stomach. He
stays like that, rocking forward, squeezing his cock, breathing hard, then
collapses down onto his side next to Blaine. He throws an arm and a leg over
Blaine's body, holding him close, and starts kissing Blaine's face. "Mmmmm..."
Blaine stays like that and enjoys Kurt's kisses for several long moments, as he
slides his fingers through the come on his stomach. Then he says "I'm sorry I
stopped you, from... Uh, I guess I should have said something before we
started."
"No it's ok, I should have asked. I just assumed, you know, if you're ready to
do it one way, you're ready for the other way, but obviously... I should have
checked."
"So you're not mad or anything?"
"Of course not. Are you mad at me?"
"Not even close." Blaine smiles.
Kurt lays his head down on Blaine's shoulder and kisses his neck. "So... Was it
good? You know... fucking me?"
"It was so good," Blaine says. "Then... frustrating. And then the best thing
I've ever experienced in my life." He grins. "So I'm pretty sure I came out
ahead."
***** Chapter 10 *****
Blaine is on his back on the bed, with his head raised to kiss Kurt harder, his
neck straining with the effort. He's completely naked, which feels more and
more ok each time it happens, but still makes him feel vulnerable and excited.
His heart is beating so hard it's like he's vibrating all over, and his face is
hot from blushing. Every touch of Kurt's clothes or skin and every draft of air
against his inner thighs, his stomach, his knees... every sensation reminds him
how naked he is, and makes him even more turned on.
Kurt is above him on his hands and knees, shirtless, with his pants open. He
presses his cock, hard and insistent, between Blaine's legs, sliding it through
the space between his thighs, relishing the friction, shuddering and gasping.
Each time the head of his cock rubs against Blaine's labia, the wetness between
them, not going in, just pushing against the entrance, his eyes flutter shut
and he moans against Blaine's lips. And each time, Blaine grips Kurt's body
with his fingers, bucks his hips, tilts his head back. And he wants more. "Do
it," he says on a breath.
Kurt raises his head to look into Blaine's eyes, trying to be steady and calm
but unable to still the movement of his hips. "You mean...?"
"Go inside. I want you to."
"I..." Kurt closes his eyes and rocks his cock against the outside of Blaine's
vagina. "Are you sure?"
"I think I've figured out why I wasn't ready before." Blaine can't stop
squirming and panting. "I think it's just that I didn't want to feel like a
girl."
"Blaine, you're not a girl." Kurt is speaking softly, but there's tension
showing in his jaw, and his shoulders. "I don't think of you as a girl, ever.
This isn't going to change that. Whether I'm giving you a blowjob or I'm inside
you, your - vagina. It won't make you any less of a man. Not to me."
"I know. That's why I think I'm ready now. I think if you don't think of it as
degrading, or as a failing, on my part -"
"Blaine -"
"then I won't either. I trust you. I really really want to know what it feels
like."
Kurt presses his lips hard against Blaine's, pushing Blaine's head down into
the pillow with the force of his kiss. He slides his body up to press his cock
against Blaine's stomach. He says "There's nothing degrading about it. I want
so bad to be inside you." He groans and nuzzles his face against Blaine's
cheek, eyes closed with the effort of resisting. "But I won't do it if it'll
make you feel bad." He bucks against him and hisses out an overwhelmed sigh.
"Please tell me it won't make you feel bad."
"It won't. I want it. Please." Blaine reaches down to stroke his cock, to
relieve some of the tension, and watches Kurt hurriedly roll on a condom. He
rocks his pelvis up and licks his swollen lips. His body is humming, vibrating,
aching with anticipation. He lifts his head for more kisses as he feels Kurt
settle between his legs. Blaine spreads his knees wide, and feels Kurt's cock
against his entrance, pressing, pulsing... or is that his own heartbeat, that
pulse that he feels?
Kurt adjusts his weight, balancing on his knees and one hand, gripping his cock
with the other. The movement pushes his cock against Blaine's vagina, ever so
slightly in, just a fraction, like almost nothing, but god it feels like so
much. "Are you ready?"
Blaine raises one leg further and braces his foot against Kurt's hip, and he's
spread more open than he's ever been, defenseless under Kurt. He nods, briefly,
enthusiastically, his eyes on Kurt's strained, sweat-dampened face. "Yes."
Kurt's entire body is hard and tense. He kisses Blaine, wet and needy, and a
low moan rumbles from his chest.
Suddenly Blaine is overcome with feeling as Kurt jolts forward, pushing into
Blaine, not all the way, but god, it's too much, too much... He feels filled
up, and stretched apart, surging with adrenaline and the rushing of his blood,
and it hurts, but it's good, and it's just so much.
Kurt is shaking, stuttering in, bit by bit, a little deeper each time. And
Blaine thinks he can't possibly get any deeper but then he does, and Blaine is
calling out, these strange, high pitched, mindless sounds, "Ah! Ah! Ah!" on
every thrust, and he can't stop and he can't get away from the feeling, the
intensity, the striking of Kurt's cock inside his body, and Blaine never knew
there was pleasure like this, like he's coming already but it doesn't end, and
he needs it to keep going but he can' t stand it if it does.
He thrashes his head from side to side, and his hands are up by his shoulders,
flailing, gripping into useless fists. But he isn't even aware of the movements
of his body or the sounds he's making, getting louder. Everything is the
pounding, surging pleasure-pain of Kurt fucking into him, harder, faster,
deeper.
Then Kurt lowers his head, his whole torso, down onto Blaine to kiss him
messily and frantically, sliding his whole body up and down against Blaine's.
It changes the angle; it's just as intense, only now Blaine feels surrounded
and wrapped up completely by Kurt, held down by him, kissed and fucked and
owned by him. And now Kurt is grinding down with his pelvis against Blaine's
penis, sliding over it, stimulating it so, so intensely as he keeps thrusting
into him and kissing his lips.
Blaine is shocked by his orgasm as it rips through him, by the violent,
overwhelming force of it. He breathes a long, high shriek of a sound, clamping
all his muscles around Kurt's cock, as he shoots spurts of come hot and wet
between their bodies.
He feels his own over-stimulated cock pulsing and jerking. He feels his fingers
gripping Kurt's shoulders, tight enough to bruise, and doesn't remember
reaching for him in the first place. He feels Kurt buck into him hard, then
slam inside and hold himself there, throbbing and pulsing, gasping. Kurt buries
his face in Blaine's neck as he comes, shaking, moaning.
Blaine rolls his body in waves, rocking his hips, feeling Kurt's cock inside
him, thrusting slower, more shallowly now, but still thick and present inside
him. Blaine gasps, a long inhalation, and jerks against Kurt's body as his
penis jolts and presses with the aftershocks of his orgasm.
Kurt is red, sweaty, panting. He keeps thrusting in, slower, just a little
more, as he breathes deep and kisses Blaine's neck.
Blaine lowers his legs from around Kurt's body, down onto the bed, and
stretches himself out, squeezing a little, making Kurt moan.
"Oh my god," Kurt breathes. He grips the base of the condom as he pulls out,
then flops onto his side, half on top of Blaine, their legs still entwined.
"Wow. Blaine. Wow."
Blaine wraps an arm around Kurt and keeps thrusting against him, enjoying the
sensations against his hyper-sensitive penis, and the wet come, slippery
between their stomachs. He releases a long, slow, satisfied sigh, with his eyes
closed and his lips against Kurt's.
Kurt pulls off the condom with a full-body twitch, squeezing with his fingers,
and lays it lazily behind him on the bed to deal with later. Then he embraces
Blaine again and breathes deeply, relaxed. "So, um..." He starts to chuckle.
"From the sounds you made, I'm guessing that was good?"
"It was fucking intense." Blaine grins. "It was unbelievable."
"In a good way right?"
"Good is - Kurt, good is an understatement. There aren't words for..."
Kurt laughs.
"Yes, it was good." Blaine blushes, but doesn't stop smiling.
"Good." Kurt kisses him. "Now tell me you're not traumatized or embarrassed or
anything."
"Well, I'm not really sure just exactly how loud I got there, but other than
that, no, I'm fine."
"Oh my god, Blaine, you were so loud. It was awesome."
"Yeah, you liked that?"
"You need to do that every time. It was very good for my ego."
Blaine rolls his eyes. "Your ego does not need any help."
Kurt swats Blaine's shoulder playfully. "Shut up, I'm a delicate flower."
"Like hell you are. You're a fucking sex god. Delicate flower my ass."
Kurt flutters his eyelashes and puts his hand over his heart. "Oh Blaine, you
always know just what to say..."
Blaine laughs.
"So..." Kurt smiles and kisses Blaine again. "Seriously though. You're ok
right?"
Blaine strokes Kurt's back. "Seriously. I can't believe how good it felt. And I
loved both of us coming at once, from the same thing. We didn't have to take
turns for once, and you were actually inside me, like, I don't know, like we
were connected. It was amazing."
"Yeah. I loved that too."
"And unlike when I tried to do it to you, it just felt so effortless..."
"Ok, my thighs will disagree with you there. I am going to be in pain
tomorrow." Kurt laughs. "But yeah, I know what you mean."
"I just want to do nothing but that, forever."
"Well, give me a little break and we'll try and get started on that, ok?"
Blaine chuckles against Kurt's lips, and kisses him again. "Deal."
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