Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/10511772. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: 美男高校地球防衛部LOVE!_|_Binan_Koukou_Chikyuu_Bouei-bu_LOVE! Relationship: Naruko_Io/Zaou_Ryuu Character: Zaou_Ryuu, Naruko_Io Additional Tags: what_do_i_even_tag_there's_so_much_wrong_in_this, be_on_the_safe_side_and don't_read, erogenous_loveracelets, Plot_What_Plot/Porn_Without_Plot, I Don't_Even_Know, Proceed_with_caution, April_Fools, Crack Stats: Published: 2017-03-31 Words: 1310 ****** My buddy is too hot and wild! ****** by ThatButthole Summary What will you do when you're totally not gay but your smart, good- looking, totally out-of-your-league best friend tells you adult things about the thing Wombat gave you? Something your grandma told you not to do before you're 18, probably. Notes @flamerz who say im ten and should already be in bed @1am: I'm 11 so shut the fuck up!!  It's not too late to say no to this my sweet honeys See the end of the work for more notes Ryuu walked into the clubroom straightly. He sat don on a chair in a not-gay way. He was wearing his black school uiform, his hot pink hair had a light blue headband in it so it wouldn't fall on his face you see except for that one fucking part on his left side of his facethat eas always there. He also had a little chapstick with a little color in it because his lips were chapped and he just liked color ok? It was cute. hetro guys can look cutetoo because girls like cute and he was just that comfortable with his sexuality(which was not gay) that he decorated his schoolbag with cute pins and used coloerd contact lenses that made his eyes pop out ~FABULOUSLY~. It was the sun was shinging, the birds were chirping, akura trees were blooming because it was thefirst of April and he was in japan were the cherry trees gorw and blossom in spring, which ryuu was very happy about, because he really like d cherrues. It ws a great day of being completely 100% percent heterosexual. But then! The door to the club room opened suddenly. Ryuu could feel a weird gust of wind dramativally, like something important just happened. Maybe the door opened that strongly that he felt the air. It was... Io Naruko! "What's up ryuu?" asked Io sexily. "Nothing much." replied Ryu blushing, which was weird, because Io was a man and so was Ryuubut he was not a gay man. "Good because I have something to tell you." said Io. Ryuu gulped. Io walked over to Ryuu like a very handsome man from some clothing commercial and sat next to him. He looked in his brown eyes seductivly. Ryuu almost dropped his phone under Io's strong manly gaze but not really because dropping your phone when you are looking at a man when you are a man is gay and ryuu was not. But was Io then? He spoke in a sexy baritone voice. "Did you know that these bracelets Koala makes us wear are erognouse?" Ryuu blinked confusedly. "what do you mean?" Ryuu was not very smart and did not know what eurogenous means. "I mean", said io in a musky voice, that touchign them feels sexual." Ryuu's facee went all red because io was talking about it and ryuu had read from an excerlent Harry Potter fanfiction that guys did not like talking about it. Contrary to popular opinion, Ryuu knew how to read. Ge also knew what sex was because he was so into girls and teenage boys think abot sex all the time. They also watch porn. It was good. "so why are you telling me this?" ryuu asked nervously. "because" io said in an undertone "I'm gonna try it on you". He smiled deviously. Ryuu thought it was a scary but somehow exciting smile. Then... Io leaped forward and touched Ryuu's loveracelet that was on his wrist sensually. Ryuu moaned like an uke. It felt good. Io was right. Io was always right. "let's do more." growled Io. "no... whimpered ryuu. "we're both guys, it's wrong!" "no it's not. many guys have sex. i could bet many moneys that some our senpais have sex." Ryuu shivered in both pleasure of Io's touch and disgust of the thought of buttsex. "But I don't like boys!" he scremed despritly. The weird feeling in his chest , like someone was hitting something very agressively, was wrpng and he would never feel it, but now he did, and he didn't like that he liked it, except that now he was confded. "Yes you you do." whispered Io. "i've seen you look at my s1 transformation where i make a phallicly symbolic movement with my hands and also in the bathwhen we're naked." Ryuu gasped. After Ryuu opened his motuh in a gasp io suddenly kissed him on the lips! It was hot and demanding and their noses didn't get in the way and it was perfect, just like he would have imagined if he had imagined kissing boys. ever Io trased his fingers along the borders of the heart of Ryuu's loveracelet, making the pink-haired whimper in desire. There was something good otther than the costumes in those trinkets the kangaroo had given them. The green haired boy then moved his other hand on Ryuu's chest and fondled it lovingly. Ryuu had never felt such pleasure and io hadn't even touched his parts that were under his boxers. He then remembered that he was straight. "Io no!" Ryuu cried. "I'm straight!" "But I already told you you're not. Trust me. I know you better than you know yourself. we're best friends right? best friends can do many things." Ryuu knew he loved Io - notin that way tho! No homo!! - and that he was inteligent but it was embarrasing that they were in the clubroom. Ryuu said this out loud. "So what?" hummed Io. "Does it mater where we are? The only important thing is that we're together and feel good." Ryuu felt good physically but was still a bit scared. But then Io put his hand in the younger one's pants and Ryuu forgot everything because it felt so nice. He realized he was in love. Io turned him gay with his erotic yaoi powers. "I love you!" shouted Ryuu. Io grinned. "Good boy." he whispered and put Ryuu's love stick (A/N: this means penis) in his motuh and started sucking it with the force of a thousand vacuum cleaners. "Io, Io, Iooo!!!" yelled Ryuu extatically. He couldn't think straight (AN: lol geddit?) or he would have noticed he never really agreed to this. But who cares, he loved Io and knew Io loved him too even tho the rich one hadn't even hinted in that direction and could basically just be using him for sex and not even look at him the next day because making money is more important and doesn't betray but yeah Ryuu doesn't think about this because his gaying instrument is being licked.His nonexisting anime nipples were also ereckt. Io stopped. Ryuu sighed. Io took hispants off, lifted Ryuu briefly on his strong man arms (his arms are strong because he's a year older than Ryuu and had more time to get strong) and slam dunked Ryuu on the desk. Ryuu let out an oomph because it hurt. "Bite the table pretty boy, I'm going in dry." he announced and thrusted in like usain bolt crossing the finish line. Using Usain Bolt'sn ame in a porn analogy is a bit questionable because he's the fastest man in the world as far as I'm aware but whatever. Ryuu yelped in pain because Io's magnum dong was big and his big round ass was not used to it. It hurts, but I do it for Shrek. Io kept shaggin Ryuu for a while and yuu felt his schlong dongadoodle, that was pressed against the table and painfully hard, get feeling like somehting. "Io!" ryuu ejaculated. "Don't you dare yet," replied Io and smacled Ryuu's ass to assert dominance. He then applied his scent to Ryuu and exited his butt. Ryuu's milk dripped all over the table and on the floor because there was so much of it. it didn't all stay on the table. He rolled on his side and looked at Io Who stood there. He looked majestic against the light that shone through the clubroom window. What a stallion, a real daddy, thought Ryuu, but he didn't say it out loud. "You were a good boy today so we will do this again when I feel like it." said Io dominantly. Ryuu nodded and fell asleep because getting ducked is hard. Io pulled his pants back up, gave little Ryuu a kiss on the tip and left for class. The end End Notes APRIL FOOLS I didn't proofread this or stop to think for a second also this is my first and probably last smut this is my legacy I'm sorry this was supposed to be a joke but it just became disturbing. I take my romance advice from NTT Solmare Shall We Date? games   i had too much fun with this oh my god kill me Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!