Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8719150.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      Block_B, VIXX, Kpop_-_Fandom
  Relationship:
      Jung_Taekwoon_|_Leo_(VIXX)_/_Kim_Yukwon_|_U-Kwon_(Block_B), Jung_Taekwoon
      |_Leo_/_Kim_Yukwon_|_U-Kwon
  Character:
      Jung_Taekwoon_|_Leo, Kim_Yukwon_|_U-Kwon, various_OCs
  Additional Tags:
      Romance, Priests, Seminary_life, Gay, m/m_-_Freeform, Young_Love
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-12-01 Chapters: 3/? Words: 3184
****** My biggest sin - Jung Taekwoon ******
by mxnxchrome
Summary
     Yukwon is a young boy, who is studying in a seminary. Doing his best,
     so that he can become a good priest to serve the God and people. The
     life of a seminary is boring and melancholy, even though Yukwon likes
     it that way. Everything changes when he meets the stranger who's name
     he doesn't know.
Notes
     Honestly speaking, I don't know where this story will go or end... I
     got inspired by a book I'm willing not to name. But I have build a
     great picture in general, which consists a lot of small, interesting
     details. I hope the fact that it's quite religious, won't offend
     anyone.
     I may warn you, that some of the things might be too drastic for a
     minor eye, yet I feel like this story will be innocent, as much as
     it's possible for it to be.
     Please forgive me, if I'll mix something and my facts won't be clear,
     after all it's just a fan's story, inspired by a professional's book.
     I'm learning the stuff, I'm trying to do as much research as I can to
     make sure my facts are clear as the sky.
     And I just love the ship itself so much, so I'm excited. I hope I'll
     do well by sucking you into the shipping of the pair, hehe.
     Also, keep it in mind that the events take place at the end of the
     19th century, which makes the story itself even more intriguing.
     Enjoy.~
***** Chapter 1 *****
The young boy walked down the halfway, rushing to the next class. The bell rang
and he had few minutes to enter the room before he would have to face the
rector and the punishment. Usually Yukwon wasn‘t the one to be late, but he
couldn‘t fall asleep last night till 3AM, so because of that he overslept this
morning.
The life in the seminary wasn‘t easy, it was the life controlled by so many
rules and rulers, who were there anytime to remind young boys what they had to
do and how they were supposed to do it. The order of the day that was the same
all the time, so many different classes, a lot of learning: meditations,
history, latin language along with some other languages that were required for
the priests to know and many more.
Yukwon was only sixteen years old, the youngest in the whole seminary, even
though the age had no meaning. It was his second year in the seminary and even
if he wasn‘t a fresh student anymore, he wasn‘t the oldest either and still had
a long way to go. Despite his young age, he was really determined to become a
good priest and was willing to serve his people and the savior himself, the
Holy Father. He never complained about the hard days and long boring meditation
sessions when they were required to spend hours in the dorm room, where the
only light source were few of the candles placed in some of the corners of a
spacious room.
And even though some would call the life in a seminary quiet boring, as there
was close to none entertainments, Yukwon loved it. He was so passionate
whenever someone, either his friends or some of the parsons, asked him why he
wanted to become a priest, not even thinking twice before giving his answer. It
seemed liked this boy loved God with all his heart and was willing to give his
all, sacrifice his life to the Father. He was proud to walk around wearing his
cassock, spending an extra hour before bedtime to read some of the prayers. He
was literally in love with an idea of becoming a priest and being able to pray
along with people; he believed that in around five, ten years he would be a
well known priest, who would be able to hold masses in the church of the town,
who could help people confess their sins either small or big and help them find
the right way, so that they could accept the God and spend their lives serving
the Holy Father, doing their best to repay Jesus for the sacrifice he has done.
As much as he was praised for his good job and behavior, he remained calm and
cool about it, as magnificence was a sin and no one should have raised their
nose higher than the rest, in the seminary all of the students were equal, even
if some were better at one thing, while other were doing better at something
else. Yukwon usually tried his best to be a good person and a good seminarian,
though sometimes even he would catch himself doing bad things that were sinful,
even if it wasn‘t that big of a sin; at times like this he would feel bad and
was dying to enter the church and confess all of his sins, though it was done
every once in a week, sometimes once per two, so he had to be patient and wait
till the ceremony.
The holidays in the seminary were more exciting than simple days, as the
seminarians were able to experience something new. They were able to help
around the leaders, the priests who worked there, who were teaching them
important life lessons. So all the boys, even the ones who didn‘t really like
the time they spent in the seminary, waited for the holidays with such
anticipation. It was a warm spring and Easter was around the corner, so
everyone in the seminary were doing their duties to make sure everything went
as planned. Additional classes and few more new prayers learned, everything for
the grand mass that was about to held during the Holy Easter. At a place like
this Easter was a special celebration, to celebrate the day when Jesus came
back to life and proved people that God was indeed real, the day when he again
was able to do good things, serve and help his people.
Yukwon was about to enter the class when he saw a guy he swore, he‘d never seen
before. Though he didn‘t think about it too long and opened the door, entering
the quite, dull room in which most of his friends were already deep into the
state of meditation.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Days passed by, as always there was nothing interesting or extraordinary
happening at the seminary; day by day the same routine with some additional
activities every now and then. The Sunday was just around the corner, so once
all the activities of the day ended and a huge bell informed all of the
seminarians and the mentors about the end of the activities and the beginning
of a time to relax, everyone rushed out of the halls of the seminary and into
their rooms. Those last hours of the day were usually spent to rethink your
day, think of anything good or bad that you‘ve done and then just get ready to
lay down to sleep and get deserved rest. Yukwon was sitting in his room, with a
single candle light up in his room. He was sitting next to his small table,
scribbling something on a piece of paper: the list of the sins he has committed
during the week. Normally, you‘d think that the list wasn‘t that long, but the
way Yukwon had put it, it seemed to be huge, as he included even the smallest
sins... From something more bad as for example lying to one of the teachers, to
him simply losing his focus, just because he was thinking about something like
a lunch break, when rector was explaining some of the lesson to the class. But
after all he was just a boy, who despite all his love to God, was curious and
willing to discover all of the darker secrets of the world, if only he could.
Yet his love and loyalty was stronger than the will to go and open all those
closed doors, so he behaved and was doing his best to make sure the list of the
sins at the back of the week, was shorter than the week before.
One day, when the weather outside was already quite bearable for a spring
season, one of their teachers got sick, and as there was no one who could take
care of the boys that day, their class was left to go and have some time for
themselves. Usually at the times like this, some of them were reading, praying,
or simply spending time in the garden not far away from the seminary. Yukwon
was one of those who preferred praying, so he rushed to the church, as soon as
they were dismissed.
The beautiful church was huge and empty, the quietness was even a little bit
intimidating, but Yukwon liked it. He thought that at times like this it was
best to pray and talk to the Holy Father, as in such silence the later would
hear him better, as childish as it sounded. For a brief moment the boy wandered
around, taking another look at the big windows and the holy pictures of all the
saints. He approached the statue of the Jesus himself and got on his knees,
folding his arms and closing his eyes for a little moment. He was about to say
some prayer before he could go on and say his worries aloud, as he would do
sometimes. Even if one of the rules was to share their worries and everything
that was on their mind with the priest, sometimes even a loyal seminarian like
him wanted to keep something just to his own self and the God; that‘s why he
liked to go to church alone.
He let out a sigh and opened his eyes, lifting them up, to look at the Jesus
who as if was looking down at the young boy, who seemed to be lost in his
thoughts or whatever wasn‘t letting him be at peace with his own self. It even
seemed like the Jesus was real, standing right here, above the little boy and
listening to all the later had to say. And so Yukwon spilled his heart out. As
always the things he said weren‘t as bad, but for someone like him they meant
way more and he was scared that if he wouldn‘t confess, he would rot in hell
for the rest of his life. He was about to confess one more thing when he heard
a quiet snort behind, causing him to jerk his head and turn around to look at
the source of the noise. Once he saw the one who was laughing at him, he stood
up and approached, trying his best to remain calm, as he didn‘t need another
sin on his list.
„What‘s so funny?“ He tilted his head to the side, looking at the taller boy
who was sitting on a bench, in the second row.
„Do you really think he hears you... He gives no fuc—„ The boy couldn‘t finish,
as Yukwon was quick to cover his ears and shake his head like a little boy that
he was. The expression on his face was a mixture of fear and disgust, making
the taller laugh even more. The husky, low tembre of his voice slightly echoing
through the hall of the church. „You‘re so cute...“ He whispered, standing up
and walking past Yukwon. Without no other word, he simply left the church,
leaving Yukwon confused and disgusted by such a terrible attitude. It was
forbidden to swear, or use bad words... So to do it in the holy place needed
some guts or simply you had to be reckless.
Yukwon couldn‘t bear to stay at the place that was so offended, even though it
was him who was dealing with the feeling. Yet, he couldn‘t understand how that
guy was thinking he could do such a bad thing, who did he think he was. He
probably was new around, maybe even in his first year, as Yukwon never seen him
before, he didn‘t know his name. And after such an encounter he didn‘t think he
was willing to get to know such an evil creature. He thought that the boy was
possessed or really dumb. His thoughts made him gasp out loud and cover his
mouth, as now he was thinking bad things himself. He shook his head and ran out
of church, rushing to the dormitory, before he could forget what has
happened...
Meanwhile the taller boy stood in front of the gates of the church, watching
the other boy struggling with his cassock, as he ran away.
„So cute...“ He whispered and smiled to himself.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Among the favorite parts about whole life at a seminary there were various
celebrations, for which everyone from young seminarians to old deans were
putting way more effort into preparations. Special masses were held for special
occasions, such as Easter, Christmas and some other special days that were
marked red on a calendar. Beside those special days, there was also ones that
weren't big and didn't require grand preparations, but were just as meaningful
to the seminarians. Those were the days when they were visited by families,
friends and other civilians. Everyone was happy, once those days were getting
closer, except for Yukwon.
It was a cold winter evening, when his father died from phthisis. The disease
caught him out of nowhere and it didn't even take a year for it to take all
over the man's body and kill him completely. The mother who was left with three
children to take care of all by herself, had no choice but to send them all
away. Yukwon was the lucky one, as his future wasn't as bad. While his brother
and sister were sent away to other cities, to become slaves for richer
families, Yukwon with the help of the local parson was sent away to the
seminary. Was it his love for God or simply the great future awaiting him, he
didn't know. And as much as he enjoyed the life at his new home, he missed his
old one. His mother never came to visit him, she never sent him a box full of
goods, nor she sent him a single letter. He didn't even know if any of his
family members were still alive. Usually there was no time for him to sit and
simply remember of all his old times, his family and parents, but on a days
when all the boys were getting excited because of the upcoming visits, he was
sitting alone in his room or anywhere else and quietly crying.
Parents or friends were able to visit the seminarians often up to five-ten
times per year, so with every new visit days, he learned to conceal his
feelings and hide his tears from the curious friends. The ones he considered
close knew his story, so they never asked, as they knew that this would only
make him feel worse. And the ones who didn't know him well, would only feel bad
after they would notice a glimpse of sadness in his gaze, after they would ask
him about the day. So usually he would just stay somewhere in the corner, left
alone, as no one dared to ask him anymore, being afraid that they might cause
even more damage to his childish, innocent nature. If there were any boys
transferred from other cities, they would be informed sooner or later, so that
they could avoid uneasy situation at any cost.
Yukwon was sitting in his room, or even hiding, from all those uneasy questions
or petty looks that he would get from all the seminarians and the people that
were there to visit them. He was reading one of the books he took from a
library a day prior. The books in the seminary were just as strictly picked, as
the rules themselves. As it was the duty to save the innocence of the maturing
boys, there were no books consisting any of the images with the women on them,
except for the images of Holy spirits that happened to be females. If any of
the books that weren't against the rules consisted images of women, the paged
with the pictures on the would be simply cut off. Though older boys, who were
already spending their third or fourth years in the seminary had their ways to
get the forbidden images, usually showing them around like some dark secret and
making sure none of the rectors or parsons would find out. If anyone would find
such a "treasure" in the hands of a young seminarian, the boy could be kicked
out in a matter of seconds.
As he was reading, one of the boys that shared the room with him, barged in,
with a wide grin sprawled all over his face, ready to open his mouth and tell
Yukwon what he got from his parents. As those usually were coming with a lot of
gifts and goodies. Yukwon let out a sigh and stood up, dusting off his cassock,
before he left the room with a small smile on his face.
The seminary was huge, yet there wasn't many places that you could hide at;
there was only one that was the ultimate place to hide at. On the second floor,
at the very end of the hall there was a dark room where a lot of old stuff was
kept, the clothes that weren't needed during summer or winter, the food
resources and a lot more. At the back of the room there was a wooden ladder
that led you into the cold, dark attic, where you could hide from the rectors,
or those who were too happy while you were too sad.
He was so quiet, trying not to cause a lot of noise and get caught, otherwise,
he would be forced to go back down into the hall and find his friends, so that
he could spend time with them and their families. He climbed into the attic,
carefully carrying an oil lamp along, so that he would have a source of light
in that complete darkness. When he looked up, to see where he could place his
lamp, he gasped and for a second he feared that he might even fall back, though
he was able to keep his balance. He hurried up, finally placing his lamp on the
floor, further from the hole in the ceiling, so that no one would know that
someone was up there and found a place to sit down himself.
"What are you doing here?" He whispered, his tone slightly annoyed, yet
curious. He didn't expect to see someone in the hiding spot, especially the boy
he seemed to despise a lot, even though he didn't even know him. "Shouldn't you
be down there, with your family?" He tried his best to stay calm and collected.
"No-o.." The boy smiled, shaking his head. "My family is busy, so they sent
here my sister... She hates me, so she just gave me the package and left.." The
dark haired boy explained, pushing the wooden box toward the other. "Want
something? I even got some honey.."
The other tried to smile and be polite. Yukwon thought that he probably knew
about him, either way he would't be that nice, but the taller didn't ask
questions and it was more than enough; his look also didn't seem to be
compassionate, or it could be because of the lack of the light in the room that
Yukwon didn't see the other that well. Either way, Yukwon couldn't find himself
saying no to such an offer, especially when the other mentioned honey, which
Yukwon had never tried before as it was way too expensive for his family. Yet
he was too shy and too afraid, he also felt uneasy, remembering their first
encounter back in the church. The taller boy probably realized that, as he
simply smiled even wider and pushed the box even closer to Yukwon's legs.
"Come on, Kim Yukwon... I know you want some." The other boy chuckled and moved
closer to the scared boy, who seemed to freeze at his spot. Yukwon wanted to
jump up and ask the other how did he know his name, but he decided to leave it
for later and finally pushed his finger into the jar filled with honey.
That evening they spent together, simply talking about irrelevant stuff or the
life at the seminary, trying to get to know each other more and build another
friendship.
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