Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2419931.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Original_Work
  Relationship:
      Original_Male_Character/Original_Male_Character
  Character:
      Original_Male_Character(s)
  Additional Tags:
      Fantasy, Sexual_Fantasy, Rape_Fantasy
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-10-07 Words: 1852
****** My Fantasy ******
by CoffeeFiend1980_(CaseyBenSullivan)
Summary
     So this is a fantasy I had about my big brother when I was in high
     school. I was totally in love with him but I knew it was wrong. I was
     turned on though and I really wanted to fantasize about him but I
     couldn't bring myself to fantasize about being the one to initiate
     it... for some reason I thought this was better. I don't know why,
     LOL. But recent events have reminded me about this fantasy and I
     wanted to share it with people who might enjoy it.
Notes
     Except for this note, this is a fictional piece of fiction "written
     by" one Mikey Way as an adult, the same Mikey Way in the linked
     works. Being written by Mikey in this fictional universe, this would
     have been original fiction by him, but I included the Mikey/Gerard
     pairing and the My Chemical Romance fandom so readers interested in
     this pairing and/or fandom could find this work. Thank you for
     reading.
     Time frame: "Mikey" would have written and published this fantasy
     after the events of "Discovery of a Fantasy" and "Learning More About
     A Fantasy".
     Underage = high school freshman / high school senior
  This work was inspired by
      Discovery_of_a_Fantasy by CaseyBenSullivan, weekendgothgirl, Learning
      More_About_A_Fantasy by CaseyBenSullivan, weekendgothgirl
I was lying in bed in the middle of the night. It was dark and a little chilly,
because it was the beginning of fall, so I was wrapped up in my sheets and
blanket, trying to fall asleep. I was almost there when I heard the front door
open and close downstairs. I knew it had to be my brother, coming home from
studying with his girlfriend. Our parents were out of town, so it was just me
and him in the house.
I turned over in the bed to face the wall, slowing my breathing and doing my
best to pretend to be asleep. I always avoided my brother this late at night,
when it was dark and easier to let secrets slip out. Even if he might not be
able to see the look on my face, I didn't know what I might say, or what he
might hear in my voice. So it was easier to pretend to be sleeping.
After awhile, I heard the floorboards creaking as he came upstairs to get ready
for bed. I listened to him brush his teeth and shower, and tried not to picture
him naked. Not long after that, the door creaked and I heard it open slowly,
and then nothing. He was just standing there. I could tell, I could feel it. I
could feel the way he was looking at me, staring with his dark eyes and
unwavering gaze.
My breathing sped up, feeling him watch me like that. I knew that shouldn't
turn me on, but it did. Everything about my brother turned me on, and it was so
wrong and so hopeless because I couldn't stop. I was sure he knew I was awake,
but he didn't say anything, not then. He just kept watching me, while
electricity sizzled over my skin.
I don't know how long it was before he came over to me. It felt like forever. I
didn't know what time it was, even with church bells chiming the hour in the
distance; I lost count of how many times they rang. It was late, I was hard,
and my Catholic guilt was stirring in my stomach.
I felt my brother walk over to my bed more than I heard him. He walked right
past his own bed by the door and all the way over to mine, watching me pretend
to sleep as I grew more and more tense under his gaze. The mattress dipped as
he sat beside me, and it startled me when I felt his hand on my head, stroking
my hair. I tensed up at first, but then thought, why? It was just an innocent
touch. An innocent touch and it felt so nice, made me feel loved and safe and
close to my brother. I started to relax, and a soft hum escaped from my mouth.
I froze for a second, but he kept on stroking my hair, not losing a beat.
Finally, I relaxed completely, and that was when things got out of hand.
He lifted the blanket up off me, the weight of it leaving my skin and the
chilly air making me shiver. My brother shushed me and stroked my shoulder,
then down my side, down over my hip, to the top of my thigh. My breath hitched
at the touch. I was turned on but nervous, because I knew I should stop this,
but I didn't want to. Maybe if I just kept pretending to be asleep, it would be
okay. I could keep on pretending and it wouldn't matter that I was letting him
touch me like this.
My brother didn't let me pretend, though. He put his hand in a firm grip on my
shoulder and pushed me onto my back, firmly, but somehow gently at the same
time. I squeezed my eyes shut at first, but then, when I realized it was
obvious that I was faking, I blinked my eyes open and looked up at him. He was
just a blurry shape, of course, since I had taken off my glasses to go to bed,
but I recognized his shape and his colors and the way he felt and smelled. I
was so turned on, but scared at the same time. I didn't want to admit it, but I
knew that he knew he shouldn't be doing this. I knew that he knew it was wrong,
just like I did.
"Look at you," he said, and I could tell he was smiling. The room was starting
to smell like sex, and I wasn't sure if it was just me, or if he'd had sex with
his girlfriend before coming back home. I knew they'd had sex before. I'd seen
it. They didn't know I'd seen it, unless they knew I was just pretending to be
asleep those times I'm watched them. Maybe they'd done it on purpose. Now, I
wasn't sure. "You want me."
I couldn't say anything, but I did squeak a little. That was kind of
embarrassing. But my brother just laughed and took his hand out of my hair,
moving his fingers down to stroke my cheek, instead. I turned into it, before I
remembered that I wasn't supposed to want this. Then I turned my face away, and
at first, he let me. He went on stroking my cheek, while his other hand
traveled over my chest, fiddling with the buttons on my pajama top but not
undoing them. I wanted him to unbutton my shirt, but at the same time, I
didn't. I wanted to feel his fingers on my bare skin, but also, I didn't.
When his fingers reached my groin, I twitched in surprise and gasped deeply.
That was when he grabbed my chin with that hand that had been on my cheek, and
forced me to look at him. It was the first time he was violent with me. I
gasped again as his fingers tightened on my chin, and he pressed his other hand
firmly onto my hard cock. He squeezed my cock and laughed, a dark, evil laugh
that sent chills down my spine.
"You *do* want me," he said, sounding triumphant, and began massaging my cock
through my pajama pants. It felt so good, I couldn't help but rock up into it,
my hips moving on their own. But through the haze of arousal, I knew it was
wrong, I knew we shouldn't be doing it. I shook my head rapidly and he shushed
me again, massaging me more firmly.
"No," I said weakly, and whimpered when his fingers tightened on my chin. Fuck,
it was hurting me, and not in a good way. I tried to move out of his grip, but
he just held on tighter. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. "I don't want you,
this is wrong!"
"Wrong's just another word for things people don't approve of," my brother
retorted. He took his hand away from my face, and I sighed in relief, thinking
he was going to leave me alone, but he didn't. He used both hands to pull my
pajama pants down from my hips to my knees, leaving me exposed in the cool air.
And I knew I was exposed, because even if it was dark, my eyes had adjusted to
the darkness, and I knew his probably had, too. He had to be able to see me,
and he didn't have to wear glasses like I did. He could probably see me very
clearly, especially with the moonlight shining in through the window.
"No, this is wrong," I insisted, wishing my voice didn't sound as whiny as it
did. I wanted to sound confident, not unsure and scared. "You have to stop!"
"No way," he said with an evil laugh, burying one hand in my hair and wrapping
the other around my cock. I cried out his name, and my voice sounded ecstatic
rather than offended the way it should have. He stroked my cock as he tugged on
my hair. "There, see? I knew you wanted me. I knew you would like this."
"I don't," I said, crying, but it was getting harder and harder to deny. He was
stroking me in earnest now, his hand moving up and down on my cock, the way I
liked to touch myself when I was alone or when he was asleep. I did my best not
to thrust into his hand, but I couldn't help it. It just felt too good.
"Sure you do, little brother," he whispered, and the reminder that we were
brothers made my skin flush with shame. He seemed to realize that, because he
leaned down to whisper in my ear, saying, "That's right, little brother. You
know you want me, even though you shouldn't. I'm not scared to admit it. I'm
not scared to take what I want, and that turns you on, doesn't it?"
I was sobbing by now, unable to form words. Nothing had ever felt so good and
so bad at the same time. The physical touch felt really good, his hand on my
cock, his other hand tugging my hair just right. But it was wrong, knowing that
we were brothers, that he was doing this to me even though I was asking him not
to! It should have made me hate him, but it didn't. All I could think about was
the need to orgasm.
"Good boy... good little brother," he whispered, his sweaty face pressed
against my own. He didn't kiss me, which I was thankful for, but he kept on
stroking me, bringing me to the edge of pleasure, encouraging me the whole
time. "That's it, good boy... come for me, come for your big brother. You can
do it, you can come for me, can't you, good boy?"
It was impossible to resist coming any longer. As much as I despised what was
happening and especially how, it was true that I wanted it. I sobbed when I
came, letting go of all the tension that had built up in me since he'd started
touching me like this, and I spilled all over my skin and my pajamas, and
probably his fingers as well. There was a slight smacking sound and I guessed
that he was licking my come off his fingers, and that was so dirty and so wrong
but it turned me on at the same time. I cried quietly and wanted to turn away,
but I was too scared to move.
"Good boy," he said one last time. My brother lifted the sheet to wipe away
most of the mess, then tucked me back into my pajama pants, wrapping me back up
in my sheets and blanket. I rolled onto my side again, facing the wall again,
and whimpered softly when he dropped a tender kiss onto my temple. As if he
loved me, even after what he'd just done to me. And even though I knew it was
wrong, even though he'd taken advantage of me, I knew I still loved him, too.
  Works inspired by this one
      Sharing_Fantasies by CaseyBenSullivan, weekendgothgirl
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