Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/7030324.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      My_Chemical_Romance, Bandom
  Relationship:
      Frank_Iero/Gerard_Way
  Character:
      Gerard_Way, Frank_Iero, Mikey_Way, Original_Characters
  Additional Tags:
      Teacher-Student_Relationship, Alternate_Universe_-_Student/Teacher,
      Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, High_School, Forbidden_Love, Smut,
      Fluff_and_Smut
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-05-30 Completed: 2016-09-27 Chapters: 48/48 Words: 63810
****** Mr Way ******
by obsessivechild
Summary
     Is forbidden love worth it?
***** A New Teacher *****
New year. Same old shit.
School was such a waste of time and I couldn't wait to leave. Like, what even
was the point of all these bullshitter subjects?
Slowly, but surely, I was getting closer to leaving this hellhole. Thank fuck
for that.
I was in my second to last year and you have no idea how much I was looking
forward to next year. I heard senior year goes by in like, an instant.
I walked through the gate and headed to where my friend(s?) usually hung out.
My friend (only friend), Willow, smiled when she saw me. "Hey, Frank! How was
your summer?"
I shrugged as she hugged me. I was never really into the whole hugging thing
but I let her hug me anyway. "Alright I suppose. How was yours?"
"Same," She continued to smile. She was quite possibly the most happy person I
knew and honestly, it was kinda stepping on my vibe of hating myself and the
rest of the world.
We talked for a bit about random shit; catching up.
"Hey, have you seen the new Drama teacher?" She suddenly asked.
I frowned, having forgotten that we were getting a new teacher. Our last one
had left at the end of last year.
I wasn't that bothered. She hadn't exactly made a massive impression on me. To
be honest, she was a grumpy old bitch.
I shook my head in reply.
"Me either but I've heard he's hot!" Willow giggled.
Hot? A teacher at our school... Hot?
I seriously doubted it. Like, have you seen the old fossils at our school?
"And young," She added.
Really? A new young, hot Drama teacher?
Somehow I didn't believe this rumour. It sounded like some miracle that was
definitely too good for our shitty school. What young, hot person would
willingly want to teach the twats here?
The rest of our teachers were all pretty ancient. Especially the male ones. I
think the youngest one was in his late thirties. And even he looked old for his
age. There was no eye candy at all and it made school even more draining than
it already was.
I couldn't imagine an attractive, young teacher wanting to work here. Not at
fucking all.
"I doubt he's hot," I smirked, "Who did you hear this from?"
"Eva," Willow bit her lip.
"There you go. She's always making up shit. I wouldn't believe her if I were
you."
Willow didn't say anything for a moment before perking up again. "Well, we have
Drama first so I guess we'll just have to wait and see for ourselves."
I shrugged. "I guess."
~
I arrived to drama at the usual time. I was usually one of the last to arrive
because my Homeroom was across campus.
The rest of the class had grabbed chairs and were sitting in front of the
teacher's desk like normal. There didn't actually seem to be a teacher though.
I seized a chair and joined the others.
Willow smiled as I sat down next to her.
"Where's this 'hot' teacher then?" I raised an eyebrow.
She narrowed her eyes at me. "He'll be here. Just you wait!"
I shook my head. This was ridiculous.
The rest of the class was talking loudly and that didn't surprise me at all.
They were always like this. I wished they would shut up sometimes. Annoying or
what? I felt sorry for our new teacher. I wondered how they would deal with us.
"Good morning!" We suddenly heard.
Everyone went silent. All faces turned in the direction of the speaker.
That was the first time I saw him.
Well fuck me.
It looked like Willow had been right. He was young and attractive.
I would've guessed he was twenty-five at most. Looked younger though.
In one hand he had a black briefcase and in his other, he had a takeaway
Starbucks coffee. He wore shiny, black shoes and black dress pants. His shirt
was white and his tie was striped black and white.
I was surprised to see he was wearing a black, buttoned waistcoat. Usually
waistcoats only worked on old people and even then they didn't work, but it
really suited this guy. It made him look even better.
He reminded me of a university student. To be honest he probably had just left
university. Maybe this was his first ever teaching gig.
He didn't seem nervous though.
We watched him as he walked over to the desk and put the briefcase down next to
it. He then raked a hand through his hair before taking a long sip from the
coffee.
His hair was pretty cool. It was black and styled back. I found myself
wondering how he had styled it. It kind of looked like a natural quiff.
I liked it.
As he drunk his coffee, his eyes scanned the class slowly. When his eyes rested
on me, I had to look away, embarrassed.
Willow caught my eye and smiled. I guess I shouldn't have doubted her.
I looked back at our new teacher. He was leaning against the desk and his
coffee was now on top of it.
"Tell me, what do actors exhibit a play or theatrical performance on usually?"
His question confused me and apparently everyone else as well because no one
said anything.
He crossed his arms and waited.
After a minute of silence, a girl in front of me hesitantly raised her hand.
The man nodded at her and she shakily said, "A... A stage...?"
"Is that a question or an answer?"
The girl swallowed slowly before saying, a bit more confidently, "An answer."
He smiled at her. "That answer is correct. A stage. Then tell me this, why are
you all facing a desk where all you'll be doing is watching me sit and drink
coffee? Why aren't you facing that beautiful elevated platform?"
He gestured towards the stage to our right.
No one spoke still.
"Go on then," He drank some more coffee, "Face it."
No one moved at first but after a moment, we all stood up and moved our chairs
to face the stage. I think we were all wondering if he was being serious or
not. We always used to sit in front of the desk when we had our old teacher.
This was a little different.
The man walked up to the stage and leant against it, facing us.
"That's better. This is by far a better view than a poxy desk. I'm sorry to say
that either way, you'll have me in it."
I smiled a little, not actually minding that fact because seriously, he was
really attractive.
"I suppose it's time for me to formally introduce myself," He smiled at us, "My
name is Mr Way. I will hopefully know all of your names soon but until then,
forgive my ignorance."
It was still silent on our part. This was the quietest my class had ever been.
I think we were all just so taken aback by this intriguing adult that we were
too shocked to speak.
"Well," Mr Way crossed his arms, "Is no one going to welcome me to the school?"
Silence.
"I don't bite you know." His eyes rested on me as he said this.
I knew I should have looked away but for some reason I didn't.
He didn't either.
His lips curled up into a smile and said, "Would you all like to introduce
yourself perhaps?"
I felt like he was speaking just to me but I knew he was addressing the whole
class.
He looked away from me then. "I know it's not exactly the most polite of
gestures but I'll do it anyway. If I point at you, I'd like you to say your
name and... Hm... One fact about yourself. A little cliché I have to say but
I'd like to get to know all of you. Okay?"
We all nodded like bobble heads.
Mr Way smiled before pointing at random people. Whoever he picked said their
name and a fact. Sometimes the fact was funny but mostly they were simple.
Probably because no one really knew what to say and that included me.
He sent me an encouraging smile when it was my turn and I quickly scanned my
brain for anything remotely interesting about myself.
I bit my lip, "Um my name's Frank and uh... I play the guitar." I couldn't
think of anything else.
Instead of moving onto someone else like he had been doing previously, Mr Way
dropped his hand and asked, "Acoustic or electric?"
I blinked a few times before replying, "Electric."
He smiled again, "I play the acoustic occasionally. Self taught?"
"Yeah." What was happening?
He nodded and said, "Me too." He then moved on to someone else.
Well... Okay then. That was a little different.
Mr Way was pretty cool for a teacher.
When he had got around everyone, he stood up properly and said, "Okay, now we
are all better acquainted, let's get down to business. Your last teacher told
me you had just finished your devised piece. I think it's time for another
scripted. Don't you?"
There was a murmur of voices as people were feeling more comfortable around
him.
"I have three scripts with me. I think it would be nice to have a discussion
and choose which one to perform and develop."
Mr Way smiled at us before striding back over to the desk and picking up his
briefcase.
***** Free Period *****
The first lesson of the new semester passed by actually okay. And I think I
enjoyed it. Which was definitely a first.
Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy Drama. It was just that Mr Way made everything
seem a hundred times more exciting. No idea know why. Maybe it was just his
style of teaching.
I liked him.
He was already my favourite teacher and I'd only had one lesson with him.
Whereas, I'd been taught by my other teachers for awhile now.
Mr Way won hands down, without even trying.
Therefore, I was disappointed when the bell rung. I had German next which
wasn't exactly fun and I was crap at it.
"I shall see you all tomorrow for another fun-packed lesson," Mr Way smiled as
we put our bags on.
I smiled at him without really thinking about it and he returned it to my
surprise.
I looked down, embarrassed.
We all left the classroom then and made our way to second period.
All through German, all I could think of was Drama and just because of this new
teacher. He was a very interesting character and I could tell that lessons with
him would be amazing. His enthusiasm bounced off the walls.
It was nice compared to the old bats who worked here. And also, it was nice to
have a teacher that actually liked teaching.
He was definitely the youngest teacher at this school and hey, no complaints
here.
I was glad when German ended because I couldn't really concentrate and also
because I had a free period next.
I'd never had a free period before and I wasn't exactly sure how to spend it.
Most people used this time to study but I couldn't be bothered. School didn't
mean that much to me. Plus, the semester had only just started so what was I
supposed to do?
None of my friend(s?) had a free period so that meant I had to spend it all by
myself. Not that I was too bothered about that.
I was allowed to leave the campus because I was seventeen but I didn't really
have anywhere to go and knowing my luck, I would be back late for lunch. Lunch
was my favourite class of the day. Just because food.
Although, it looked that maybe Drama would be taking that spot.
I left my German class and started walking in the direction of the study hall.
But as I said, I didn't exactly have anything to study though seen as it was
the first day back.
In the end, I decided against the study hall and stayed outside instead.
I went and lay down under a tree, looking up through the branches at the sky.
The weather was pretty good today. There was a light breeze that was a little
relaxing.
A nap seemed like a good idea.
I was just closing my eyes when I heard, "Mr Eer-ro is it?"
I looked up to see Mr Way looking down at me.
"It's pronounced eye-ear-oh," I corrected him and sat up, a little embarrassed
about just lying on the grass.
"Oh, my apologies," He smiled, "That's an interesting name."
I shrugged, "I suppose so."
How was I talking to him so casually? I hated talking to teachers. Apparently
the same wasn't said for Mr Way though.
"I was just walking and I happened to see you over here," He explained, "What
brings you over by this tree?"
I looked up at the tree before looking at him again, "I have a free period and
I have nothing to study so I thought I'd come outside."
He nodded, thinking.
I was aware then that he was at quite an awkward angle to look up at. His
crotch was right in sight. Not that I was looking or anything.
I stood up so I could see him a bit better. He was still a bit taller than me
though. That would be because I was so damn small.
"Is it just you?" He asked, "Or do you have any friends this period?"
I shook my head, "Just me." I resisted the urge to say, "what friends?"
He smiled a little then, "Well, why don't you go back to my room? Has to be
better than lying out here. Also, you might get told off for not using this
time affectively."
I thought about this.
"It's only logical," He added and my mind instantly went to Star Trek.
I nodded then, "Yeah, okay. Thanks, Sir."
"No worries," He smiled again, "I happen to have a free period as well but I've
got to go and sort something out so I'm sorry to say that you'll have to do
without my glorious company today."
Jeez, someone was awfully confident. But then again, I would be too if I looked
like him.
I smirked, "Okay, Sir."
"The room's unlocked," He said as he started walking away, "Just head on in.
Remind me to give you the Wi-Fi password tomorrow."
My eyes widened, "You have Wi-Fi?"
He looked back and grinned, "Of course. One cannot even condemn life without
Wi-Fi."
I definitely agreed with that.
"Thanks, Sir!" I called as I made my way back to Drama.
Well, that was certainly eventful and how the fuck did that even happen? Maybe
I shouldn't question it because at least now I had a place to go now.
And it would be pretty useful when it starts to get chillier in November. Also,
I would have someone to talk to.
Cheers, Sir.
***** Complicated Vocabulary *****
"How is everyone on this fine day? Did you all wake up this morning and think,
'Score! I've got drama first lesson!'?"
Mr Way looked around. "No?" He raised an eyebrow and smiled a little.
I hadn't thought those exact words but mine had been pretty close.
"Well that's too bad," He said when no one replied, "I was beginning to like
you guys as well."
No one spoke still which still was a bit of a shock because come on, my class
could outtalk a bunch of politicians.
"Honestly," He jumped down from where he was sitting on the edge of the stage,
"I don't bite. You can talk to me."
This didn't encourage anyone to do so though. I guess we were all still a
little intimidated by him. This was only our second lesson with him though so
what would you expect?
Mr Way had given up by the looks of it. "I've been pondering what play you
should do for your next scripted piece," He walked over to his desk.
Our eyes followed him and we watched as he picked up his briefcase, with his
back to us.
"I've narrowed it down to my two favourites. I'd like your input since you'll
be the ones putting on the play."
He faced us again and smiled. "I think it's story time. Let's have a look
through these shall we?"
Not expecting an answer, he strode back over to the stage and sat on the edge
of it once more.
"Come and sit closer," He gestured towards him, "It'll be just like first grade
again. Come and sit around your gracious leader."
I smirked. He really did love to give himself fancy titles, didn't he?
We all shuffled forward a little.
"Now," He began, "I think we shall have to split the class in two. Yes, that'll
work nicely." He seemed to be talking to himself.
The rest of the lesson consisted of him telling us about the two plays and
occasionally asking for our input.
We didn't speak very much though.
Eventually, the bell went.
I reluctantly put my bag on and followed everyone else out of the door.
"I shall see you all tomorrow," Mr Way called.
I hated leaving his room. It was the only place in this school that I found
remotely interesting. And the only reason for that was Mr Way.
Obviously.
When it was time for my free period, I headed straight to his room. I hoped he
was still okay with me spending the hour there.
I hesitantly knocked on the door and waited.
After a moment, I heard, "Enter!"
I smirked and opened the door.
He was sitting cross-legged on top of his desk, looking at his phone.
When I shut the door behind me, he looked up and smiled. "Ah, Mr Iero! What a
pleasure."
I blushed a little. To be honest, I was surprised he remembered my name.
"I suppose you're here to spend some quality time with your favourite mentor?"
"Something like that," I found myself saying.
"I don't blame you," He grinned and swung his legs over the front of the desk,
"I am highly cerebral."
Whatever that meant, I probably agreed.
I put my bag on the floor, grabbed a chair from the side and put it down next
to my bag.
When I had sat down, he said, "Would you like the WI-FI password?"
"Yeah, thanks."
I took out my phone. He was probably the first teacher here to actually
encourage using the internet.
He read it out to me and I typed it in. As soon as I was connected, his phone
started ringing.
"Excuse me," He jumped down from the desk and leant against it. He made a face
when he checked the caller ID but then answered it. "To what do I owe the
pleasure?"
I looked down at my phone but couldn't help but listen to his half of the
conversation. I mean, it wasn't like I could tune out or anything.
"That's very uncivil of you," He sighed, "...Yes, I know. However, it's
Tuesday.... Of course I want to see her. It just would have been nice to have a
bit of warning beforehand.... No! It's no worry at all. She's my daughter, I'll
pick her up."
Daughter? That couldn't be right... Could it? Mr Way looked far too young to
have a kid.
"Yes, fine. I just want to say, this was very unfair, Lyndsey.... I know. Have
a good evening." He hung up and raked a hand through his hair.
I watched him with caution, unsure what to do.
He noticed me then. "I'm sorry you had to hear that, Frank. My ex can be highly
irritating at times," He sighed.
"It's fine, Sir," I smiled a little.
I kind of liked it when he said my name.
He smiled back before turning back to his desk.
"I suppose I get an extra day with her..." He was mumbling to himself as he
started leafing through some paperwork.
I turned back to my phone, not wanting it to seem like I was listening in.
"I'm sorry, where were we?" He caught my attention again.
I looked up.
He was leaning against his desk again with his hands in his pockets. "Have you
readjusted to the school sentience yet?"
I frowned. What was a se...sentience?
"School life," He smirked.
"Oh, um... Yeah, I guess. I kind of hate school though."
He gasped dramatically. "One cannot hate school! Sure, it is a place where fun
and imagination goes to die but you cannot hate it. Especially while I'm here."
He winked at me.
I couldn't help but look away in embarrassment.
Were teachers allowed to do that?
Not that I was complaining... I mean uh... Never mind.
"Hate is a strong emotion, Mr Iero," He continued, "I once said I hated my ex
but then I realised that hate is too strong a word. Disdain is a better one.
Plus, I like the sound of it."
I smiled at him, "Okay, then. I have disdain for this school."
"Very good, Mr Iero," He grinned, "Soon, your vocabulary will be as sumptuous
as mine."
"I hope not," I couldn't help but say, "Otherwise, no one would understand what
I'm saying."
How the fuck was I finding it so easy to talk to him?
He laughed a little, "Are you implying that the manner in which I speak is
indistinguishable?"
I knew he was using bigger words to wind me up. It was kind of funny.
I smirked, "Yes."
"How substandard," He tutted, "I thought you were a highly perspicacious young
man."
"Not really," I shook my head. My vocabulary mainly consisted of fuck and shit
and fucking and shitting.
He raised an eyebrow, "I'm sure that's not true. You are in my class after
all."
I smiled, "Yeah, I am."
He nodded, his own smile growing, "We shall make a gentleman out of you yet, Mr
Iero. But for now, I must leave you. My lunch beckons."
He stood up and grabbed his jacket. When he had it on, he grinned at me.
"I'll be seeing you tomorrow then. I expect buckets of energy in my lesson, Mr
Iero. Try not to disappoint me."
He left the room and I couldn't help but I stare after him.
No doubt about it, Mr Way was definitely the most peculiar man I had ever met.
He was completely mad.
It was awesome!
***** Small Talk *****
For some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Mr Way had a kid.
It was just something that kept playing in my mind.
That was weird. How old was he? Pretty young in teacher standards.
I wondered if his kid wasn't planned. Maybe it was unplanned.
Wait... Why did I care? It all had nothing to do with me. I was just being a
nosey little shit.
"I have separated you all into two groups," Mr Way glanced around us, "As I
have only just started here, I don't know who works well with who. So, for now,
we shall just see how it goes."
Looked like we were starting those plays. I was just glad that we were
beginning a project.
I wasn't the best actor but I still enjoyed it.
Mr Way walked over to the other side of the room. "Other here, could I have..."
And he started listing names.
Roughly half the class took their chairs and sat over there.
I was left where I was.
Mr Way was handing out scripts to the other group.
I noticed that Willow was still on the same side of the room as me so I moved
next to her.
"I'm excited," She whispered when I had sat down, "Can you imagine him as our
director? It'll be amazing!"
I looked over at Mr Way, who was giving the group a brief synopsis on their
play, and smiled a little.
"Yeah, it'll be amazing," I agreed.
After he had talked to the other group, Mr Way came back over to us and handed
us each a script.
"Now," He said as he handed them out, "Your play is one of my favourites. It's
unknown but very reputable. I'll let you choose who plays who but if there are
any dilemmas, let me know."
He told us that the play was about a controlling father and a daughter who had
had enough.
It sounded really interesting.
The bell went soon after and I sighed. Stupid school ruined everything. This
was the only class I liked.
At least I could come back during my free period. And of course, I did.
I knocked on the door and opened it hesitantly.
Mr Way was lying on the stage, looking up at the ceiling. Of course, I wasn't
surprised.
I shut the door behind me and walked into the room. "Sir...?" I frowned.
He seemed to acknowledge my presence then, "Mr Iero... Come join me."
I raised an eyebrow. What did he mean?
I dropped my bag on the floor and slowly went up the stairs, onto the stage.
Mr Way didn't move. His eyes were shut.
I stopped next to him and looked down at him. I had no idea what to do.
"Sit," He patted the stage next to him.
I lowered myself onto the stage and crossed my legs. So many questions were
going through my head but I said nothing. This was a little weird.
"Sometimes..." He spoke quietly, "You just need to take a minute and breathe."
I nodded, "Um yeah."
His eyes opened then and he looked at me, "I've had a stressful day, Frank. I
just needed a lie down." He sat up properly.
I didn't say anything. I felt a bit like I was intruding.
He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Don't grow up," He said.
Jeez, he really must have had a stressful day.
"Ageing is an unfortunate side affect of living," He sighed, "And headaches
just build up every year."
I still didn't say anything. I couldn't really relate with that, only being
seventeen.
"Tell me, Frank," He crossed his legs like me, "How good an actor are you?"
I frowned at the change of subject. I'd never really thought about it before.
"I um... I don't know really. My last teacher didn't think much of me," I
started fiddling with my hoodie sleeve.
He raised an eyebrow, "Well, I disagree with your previous teacher's views."
"You haven't seen me act yet though," I said.
"That is correct," He nodded, "But I can see you have potential."
"How?" I asked. How the fuck did he know that?
"You have that air about you, Mr Iero. Trust me on this one."
What did that even mean? "Oh um okay."
"Actually, I would like to cast you properly."
I frowned, "What do you mean?"
"I could see you playing Adam." He nodded to himself.
"Adam?"
"Adam is the daughter's boyfriend. I wouldn't call him a minor character
though. He has a vital role and not to mention, a great monologue," He told me.
A monologue? Fuck that.
"I'm not sure if I'd be good at delivering a monologue," I murmured.
"Nonsense! The part is yours. You'll do very well."
"Uh thanks," I smiled a little. I seriously doubted that though.
He stood up and jumped down off of the stage suddenly. I watched after him as
he walked over to his desk.
I scrambled up, went down the stairs and leant against the side of the stage,
not feeling comfortable anymore.
"How about a trip?" He looked over to me and smiled, "Why don't we go and see a
show?"
I froze for a moment.
Did he mean just me and him...? Of course not.
But... The way he was saying it...
"I'll choose a rather admirable play and take the class to see it."
My heart dropped a little.
Of course he didn't mean just us two. God, I was such an idiot.
Why did I care anyway?
He was my teacher, not a potential date.
"Any preferences, Mr Iero?" He asked.
"Uh no." It wasn't like I knew any.
"I'll see what I can find," He pulled out his phone and sat down at his desk.
I checked the time quickly on my own phone. It was lunch soon.
I grabbed my bag from the floor and put it on.
"Thank you, Frank," Mr Way didn't look up, "I must admit that I was a tad
overwhelmed earlier. Talking has helped. Thanks."
I smiled a little, "It's okay."
He looked up then and smiled back, "Same time tomorrow?"
"Sure," I nodded, actually a little happy that he was now expecting me every
day.
His smile grew a little wider, "Marvellous."
***** Well... Shit *****
"Your performance is two months away. I would like you all to observe a play
before then. So, I have located a gem. It's a highly beauteous play and I know
you will all appreciate it."
Looked like Sir had found a play then. He really didn't mess around.
It had been nearly a week since his stressful day and he hadn't really been in
the room during my free periods since. It kinda sucked that he wasn't there but
I couldn't really say anything.
He had obviously been busy. He didn't have time to spend with a kid like me.
"The play is Othello. I am sure some of you will have heard of it before. It is
one of the works of the very well-known, Shakespeare."
Fuck, don't mention that guy. I was analysing his plays in English and Jesus
Christ, didn't he know how to speak properly?
"I shall arrange an evening out for us all to see that in a few weeks. Until
then, let us start on these plays. Could you sit in your groups please?" Mr Way
asked.
The class got up and split into the two groups before looking back over at him
expectantly.
"It's time to confirm the casting. I've given you a while to sort it out now.
Have a quick discussion and I will come and see what you have decided."
My group arranged ourselves so we were sitting in a circle.
"Okay," Willow spoke up, "Does anyone want to play a part in particular?"
"Actually," Mr Way suddenly appeared next to us, "I have a few preferences."
I raised an eyebrow slightly.
He hadn't been serious last week when he said that I was playing a certain
part, had he?
"I would like to see Frank in the role of Adam."
Okay, so he had been serious. I guess I was cool with that and honestly, I felt
a little smug.
Mr Way had gone out of his way to see that I got a decent part that would work
well for me.
"And could Ally play Theresa."
Never mind then.
Since when was he best buds with Ally?
I glared at her slightly before I realised what I was doing and looked away.
Wait, what was I doing?
"The rest of you can sort out the remaining parts between yourselves," He went
over to the other group.
Our group slowly began to talk.
"What was that about?" Willow whispered to me.
"I don't know," I shrugged, hoping she would drop it and also because I really
didn't know why he wanted me to play that part.
"How come he wants you to play a specific part?" Willow continued.
I avoided her eye contact, "Uh I don't know."
Luckily, she didn't question it further.
It wasn't like I was hiding anything but she might think it was a bit weird
that I spent my free periods here.
Was it weird? It wasn't like anything was happening.
Mr Way wasn't even there half of the time.
No, it wasn't weird. Maybe don't bring it up though.
I turned back to my group and listened to them as they casted themselves. That
took a while in itself.
Some people wanted the same part as others so they had to read lines and the
rest of the group had to vote.
I wasn't really that bothered about it all. I just went with whatever Willow
did.
About halfway through the lesson, a phone started ringing.
Everyone stopped talking and looked around.
Was it one of ours? If it was, someone would be in trouble. That usually
happened about once or twice a month and was entertaining when it did.
Mr Way, who was sitting cross-legged on the stage, frowned and jumped down onto
the floor. We watched as he went over to his desk and picked up his phone.
"Under the circumstances, I would not usually answer," He said as he looked
down at the caller ID, "However..." He put the phone to his ear, "Yes?"
Everyone stayed silent and either looked down or at their friends.
My eyes stayed glued to Mr Way's facial expression.
His eyes widened and his voice grew louder, "What?! Are you okay?!"
People looked over again then. A horrible, tense atmosphere was starting to
form and I didn't like it.
"Tell me she's alright!" Mr Way ran a hand through his hair, "Please, tell me-
" He stopped talking, frowning in worry as he listened to the other person.
Eventually, his expression softened in relief and he let out a sigh. "Thank
God. I'll be there now."
I was really interested in what was happening now. Whatever it was, it sounded
pretty big.
"No arguments. I'm coming now. Where are you exactly? ...Okay. I'll be there in
fifteen." He hung up.
"I am terribly sorry," He picked up his briefcase and shoved some paperwork
into it, "This is an emergency. I'll head to the office on the way out and send
over a substitute."
No one spoke as he threw on his jacket and picked up his phone and the case.
"I will hopefully see you all tomorrow." With that, he hurried out of the room,
not looking at any of us.
It was silent for a moment until people started talking about what had just
happened.
"What the fuck?" I mumbled.
Seriously though, what the fuck was going on? He couldn't just leave the class
like this.
"What was that about?" Willow asked me.
I stared at the door he had exited out of, "No clue."
Ten minutes later, a substitute teacher arrived. The class bombarded her with
questions before she had even fully entered the room.
"Quiet, please!" She called out as she shut the door behind her.
Everyone stopped talking and waited.
"I'm not sure what's happening and I'm not sure I can tell you," She crossed
her arms.
"Please, Miss!" Someone called, "We won't tell anyone."
I highly doubted that. News travelled fast around this school.
She sighed as the class started calling out again. "Okay, fine!" She put her
hands up.
Everyone went quiet.
"Mr Way received a call from his ex-fiancé. She was in a car accident this
morning and their daughter was in the car as well."
Fucking hell. I hadn't expected that.
No one spoke still. Everyone was too shocked to say anything and I didn't blame
them.
"That's all I know," Miss whatever-her-face said.
I looked down.
People were asking questions again and the sub was answering some and turning
down others.
I found myself hoping that Mr Way was okay and so was his daughter. And, yeah
okay, his ex-fiancé as well.
I shouldn't be worrying though. This was nothing to do with me.
Mr Way was my teacher, not my friend.
***** He's Back *****
It had been a week since Mr Way had received that call and left class.
Of course, a lot of rumours had spread about what was happening and I was
ignoring all of them. For some reason, I felt the need to defend him in some
way and tell everyone it wasn't their business.
And anyway, we knew what had happened. His daughter and ex-fiancé had been in a
car crash. No wonder he hadn't come back to school yet.
I had been spending my frees outside again and let me tell you, it wasn't
exactly the best place to hang out when it was already getting cold. Mr Way's
door was always locked though and even if it was unlocked, I wouldn't go in
there. That would be weird. And not to mention sad.
Our instructions in class for the week had been just to start on our plays, but
without any guidance, they were already failures waiting to happen. It wasn't
like the substitute had any idea either.
And on top of all that, I was actually really missing Mr Way. Like, he was my
favourite teacher. Of course school sucked without him.
The Tuesday after his departure, which was exactly a week after, I thought I
saw him on my way to Homeroom, walking across the campus. I couldn't be too
sure though because I only caught a glimpse.
That just made me impatient to get to Drama to see if he actually was there.
When I did get to Drama, I was practically jumping with the want to know if he
was back or not. I entered the room, half expecting the substitute, half hoping
it was him.
The two groups were already splitting themselves in half and setting the chairs
in circles.
There was someone at the desk and as soon as I saw the messy hair, the tie and
waistcoat, I almost let out a happy laugh.
I didn't though of course. That would have been pretty weird.
I did, however, smile widely at nothing in particular.
It was at that moment that Mr Way looked up from some paperwork and caught my
smile. I almost ran out the room again out of pure embarrassment but when he
smiled back, a strange feeling washed over me that wasn't something I'd
experienced before.
I dropped my head before he noticed my flaming cheeks and headed over to my
group.
We had barely done anything since Mr Way's last class with us and I could sense
everyone was a little nervous in case he asked us to show what we had so far.
I knew he wasn't mean like that though so I tried not to stress out too much
about performing that lesson.
Mr Way got up from his desk and walked to the front of the stage. "Good
morning, everyone. It has been awhile since we were last conversant with each
other and I deeply apologise for that. Something came up and no doubt, you have
heard about it. Just so you know, everything is capital again now."
He started slowly unbuttoning his shirt sleeves and rolling them up to his
elbows and I have to admit, it was pretty nice to watch. Not that I was looking
at him in that way or anything.
"The past is in the past," He carried on, "And it does not do well to dwell.
Now, let us start on these plays."
The lesson began and it was like he had never gone. He bounced around and got
really excited when we told him our initial ideas. Which we had actually
thought were shit but okay then.
When it was out that both groups hadn't actually rehearsed much of the plays
yet, Mr Way made us all stand up and reminded us that acting was 25% written
work and 75% physical work. Too bad I was a lazy shit.
When the lesson finished and we started leaving, Mr Way called that he had
missed our class and when no one replied, I found myself going over to his
desk. I have no idea why but my feet just took me there and then I was saying,
"For the record, Sir, the whole class missed you too. It was pretty messed up
here last week."
Mr Way, who had looked up from his work when I had spoken, smiled widely at me.
"That is very amiable of you to say, Frank, thank you."
I smiled back sheepishly and was about to go when he asked, "Will I be seeing
you during our corresponding free period?"
The room was empty apart from me and him now and even though I enjoyed his
company, it was a little weird. Maybe because you could take what he was asking
as something more than a meet up or was that just me?
"If that's alright, Sir." My voice lacked in confidence compared to how it had
been before because I honestly wasn't sure why he'd want me here with him.
"Of course," Mr Way's smile didn't waver, "We have some catching up to do, Mr
Iero."
Something in me liked the sound of that and I smiled back, nodding.
"For now though, you should get to your next class before your teacher wants my
head on a spike." He winked at me before looking back down to the work he was
marking.
I was a bit speechless just from the wink so I quickly said, "Yeah." And left
the room as fast as I could.
Hopefully he didn't notice my embarrassed departure.
~
I returned to his room an hour later and knocked timidly on the door.
Moments later, it swung open to reveal Mr Way grinning at me. "You don't need
to knock, Mr Iero. You're the only student who visits me out of class."
He turned and went back into the room.
I followed and shut the door behind me.
"Am I actually?" I asked, blushing slightly at that fact. Did that make me a
nerd? Or worse: an official teacher's pet?
"Indeed," He sat on the edge of the stage, crossing his legs and beaming at me,
"Are you a fan of mine?"
I couldn't help but chuckle at that and I took my bag off. "I wouldn't say
that."
"No? How about admirer?" His warm smile turned into a coy smirk.
I definitely had a struggle holding myself together at that comment.
Surprisingly, I managed to stay pretty cool about it all. On the outside
anyway. "Maybe, Sir. If you want."
One of his eyebrows cocked up and I instantly regretted my failed attempt at
possibly flirting because that was never going to be a good idea.
"Interesting," His sly smile was back. "I will remember that."
I wished he wouldn't though because that seriously sounded bad.
"I admire you too, Mr Iero." He jumped back down onto the floor and went over
to his desk.
That weird feeling swept over me again and I couldn't stop a smile from
spreading across my face.
Seriously, what was that feeling?
***** Friendly *****
Mr Way didn't mess around. The trip was organised and letters were sent out
within the week. Made a change to the lazy fuckers who worked here.
The trip was close too; only two weeks away.
The weeks leading up were pretty uneventful. I spent my frees in the Drama
classroom and half the time Mr Way was there but he usually wasn't.
When he was there, I surprisingly found it really easy to talk to him. I guess
I saw him as more of a friend than a teacher. I wasn't sure if that had been
his initial aim but I enjoyed his company nonetheless.
It was definitely quiet when he wasn't there. I usually spent the time
scrolling through Tumblr or mindlessly browsing the web. He left the door
unlocked and I liked to think that was for my benefit but I couldn't be sure.
I wasn't sure where he went and I wasn't about to go and ask him. I think it
was something to do with the car crash the other week. If it was, I definitely
couldn't ask him.
The day before the trip, he was in the classroom and I was grateful for his
company. He hadn't been there during the frees all week.
"Mr Iero!" He greeted me loudly as I entered the room. He didn't look up from
his work so he must have been telling the truth when he said I was the only
student that visited him in my free time.
"Hi, Sir," He replied shyly. I always felt nervous when I first entered the
room but he always had the power to put me at ease.
"What did you think of our lesson this morning, Iero?" He finally looked up, a
smile playing on his lips.
I was used to his sudden changes in subject by now so I didn't have to think
too long about an answer.
I jumped up and sat on the edge of the stage, taking my bag off at the same
time. "Yeah, it was good."
He snorted a bit at my answer. "You don't sound very enthused."
"I am... Uh... Enthused," I couldn't help but smile a little, "I'm just um...
You know what? It doesn't matter." I quickly pulled my phone out and unlocked
it.
I heard his chair move. He was a big fan of his chair because it had wheels
underneath it. He spent most of class rolling around on it.
"Mr Iero."
I looked up. He was sat in front of me with a quizzical look in his eyes.
As I was sat on the stage, I was a bit higher than him but he was still eye
level.
"Mr Iero, what is distressing you?" He asked, placing one of his legs on the
other, creating a box shape.
"I'm not distressed." I put my phone down on the stage next to me. "I'm just a
little unsure about my part."
"Your character?" He raised an eyebrow.
I nodded, interested in how he would breach this.
He started slowly shaking his head, his eyes closing in the process. "There is
a reason I assigned you that part, Iero."
For some reason, at that moment, my brain focussed on his way of addressing me.
Why did he always feel the need to say my name at the end of nearly every
sentence? I knew he was talking to me so why do it? Maybe it was some weird
habit he had. But I hadn't noticed him do it when he spoke to anyone else.
"You fit the role marvellously." He pulled me out of my tangent. "He's the
devil on his girlfriend's shoulder. He sways her to take a stand against her
dominating father. So he is, in some ways, the angel as well. Everyone has good
and bad in them, Mr Iero. From my first impression of you, I can tell that
people perceive you to be more bad than good, but I know that's not true."
I was a little speechless at his answer and I wasn't sure how to reply.
He smirked at me and I swear he moved a bit closer to the stage. "Have faith in
yourself," He said quietly before rolling across the room again.
I watched in silence as he parked the chair back behind his desk and stood up,
stretching his arms above his head.
My eyes instantly spotted the sliver of skin showing when he raised his arms
and I couldn't help but stare. It was only his lower back but I obviously had
something wrong with me because I couldn't look away.
When he lowered his arms again, I looked down out of embarrassment.
He must have thought I was still having doubt about my role because he called
over, "Frank, come here."
My head snapped up at the mention of my first name. It sounded alien on his
tongue but warm and welcoming at the same time.
He had a stern look on his face and I couldn't help but comply, jumping down
from the stage and walking over to him.
He came out from behind the desk and stood right in front of me, looking down
at me with a somewhat fond expression.
"You are more than capable for this role, Frank." Hearing my name again from
his lips gave me goose bumps and I had no idea why.
I suddenly felt his hand cupping my left bicep and I was going weak at the
knees.
"If you want," His voice had lowered to a slight whisper for some reason, "We
could have some extra one-to-one rehearsals. If you're still feeling agnostic."
I wasn't sure what that word meant but I nodded anyway. Hell, even if I wasn't
feeling skeptical, I probably still would agree.
A small smile appeared on his face and after a few painfully long seconds, he
let go of my arm again.
I couldn't help but miss the simple gesture and found myself wondering if
teachers were even allowed to do that sort of thing.
He suddenly turned and cleared his throat. It sounded weird against the silence
we had just stood in.
"I had better appraise the final procedures for the trip." He kept his back to
me, gathering some paperwork.
Had I done something wrong? I watched him silently and stood back, creating
more of a space between us.
"I will see you tomorrow in class, Mr Iero." He finally turned again, his bag
on his shoulder.
Before I could assess his expression, he darted across the room and out the
door.
I stared after him blindly. What had I done?
***** Teacher's Pet *****
I was in earlier than usual the next day for some reason. I guess it was
because I was sleeping better lately so I didn't sleep in as much in the
mornings.
No one else was in yet, out of my friend(s) that was. So I spent the morning
walking around, trying to warm up.
After about ten minutes of wandering around aimlessly, I saw Mr Way power-
walking across the campus with a lot of paperwork. He looked pretty flustered.
I decided to go to Homeroom early and asked if I could go to Drama straight
away. My teacher was a bit hesitant at first but agreed when I said I needed
extra tuition from Mr Way. It wasn't exactly a lie but it wasn't really the
truth either.
I made my way to Drama, feeling a bit comprehensive. I still felt like I had
done something wrong yesterday but I knew I hadn't. Mr Way's reaction was still
reasonless though.
I knocked for the first time in a couple of weeks and I heard his usual,
"Enter!"
He looked over as I entered the room and I was grateful to see a smile overtake
his features.
"Mr Iero, what a pleasant surprise." He was standing behind his desk, filing
through some of that paperwork from earlier.
I made my way over to him and stopped in front of the desk, kicking the floor a
little out of embarrassment.
"I saw you walking across campus," I found myself mumbling, "And you looked
um... Stressed?" I frowned at my choice of words.
His expression softened to a admiring simper. "Did you come to check on me?" He
asked.
I felt my cheeks blaze and I quickly looked down to hide my face.
"I was just wondering if you wanted any uh help..." I mentally slapped myself
for sounding like a loser. This had never been a good idea.
"That would be grand. Thank you very much, Iero."
I looked up again to see a full-blown grin on his face. He actually looked
really pleased by my proposition.
"Grab a chair," He nodded towards the stacks of chairs next to the wall.
I quickly grabbed one and placed it in front of the desk. Before I could sit
down though, Mr Way said, "Come sit this side. You'll be able to see then."
I was confused at first but I picked up the chair and moved it next to his,
finally sitting down.
He was now sat in his chair and was counting some permission slips.
I waited as he did that. I couldn't help but feel a little awkward though.
"Right." He picked up a different piece of paper and a yellow highlighter.
"Could you go through the slips and highlight each student's name when you come
across their slip?"
I nodded and took the list of names and highlighter off of him, placing them in
front of me on the desk.
"Thank you very much," His grin was back. "I've just got to make a call. I
shall be back in uno momento."
He then jumped up and left the room, taking his phone out and dialling a
number.
I started on my task, wondering how this was even happening. Since when was I
such a teacher's pet? I was so sad.
When I had finished, I waited nervously. Part of me wanted to leave out of
awkwardness but I enjoyed Mr Way's company so I couldn't bring myself to go.
Why did I enjoy spending time with him so much anyway? I really needed a
reality check. He was a teacher, not a friend.
Before I could psyche myself out even more, he entered the room again with his
ever present smile.
"Have you finished?" He asked as he reached the desk.
I nodded silently. Where had my voice gone?
Mr Way rounded the desk and sat back in his chair, moving it closer to mine as
he looked over the list.
"I'm glad so many of you want to see this play," He was practically swooning
about that fact. He really did enjoy Performing Arts, didn't he?
"You said it was a good play," I shrugged, slightly surprised at how mellow I
sounded.
"It is indeed." He looked at me again, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I just
want to say thank you for your concern this morning. When I first started here,
I was told students wouldn't care how I felt."
I frowned at that. What a load of bullshit.
"Then again, it was my brother who told me that so I suppose I shouldn't have
believed it. He's around your age, you know."
That revelation suddenly made me feel really young again.
"I think you two would be friends," Mr Way carried on, "He goes to one of the
schools across the city."
That didn't help how I felt at all. Of course Mr Way didn't see me as a friend.
He just saw me as some child who just happened to have a bit of a crush on him.
Wait-
Did I have a crush on him? Well, since his hand on my shoulder was making my
stomach do backflips, I must do. Oh, fuck my life.
"Thank you again for the help." Mr Way squeezed my shoulder a little before
letting go of it completely.
"I haven't done much," I muttered, angry about my new admittance to myself.
"The gesture was enough," Mr Way was leafing through more paperwork. "I
shouldn't be stressing so much anyhow. The trip isn't until after school and
I've been assigned a TA just in case."
"Oh okay," I said dumbly, running out of coherent sentences apparently.
"It should be a satisfactory evening out. It will be," He said, more to himself
than to me.
I could tell he was worried about it all and before I could stop myself, I
said, "It'll be great, Sir. Especially as you're in charge."
He looked up sharply at my words and stared at me for a moment before beaming.
His expression changed so fast, it took me a moment to register it.
"That's what I needed to hear. Thank you very much, Frank," He patted me on the
shoulder again, lingering on the last pat before pulling away completely.
He checked his watch and stood up. "The lesson begins soon."
I understood what he was getting at and stood up as well, moving my chair into
the middle of the room, facing the stage.
"I'm looking forward to this play." Mr Way was cleaning his desk up a bit.
"Me too." I realised that as soon as I said that, I actually was looking
forward to it.
***** A Night Out *****
As soon as last period was over, I was practically bouncing to get over to
Drama. I shoved my work in my bag and left the room as soon as I was allowed
to.
I knew it was bad but I was really excited about spending the evening with Mr
Way. Even if it was to go see some play with the rest of the class. I would
take what I could get.
I was one of the first to arrive and as his last class of the day were still
filing out, we had to wait outside. As soon as it was clear, Mr Way suddenly
appeared in the doorway with a big grin on his face. "Welcome!" He opened both
doors again dramatically and spun around.
A few people giggled and I heard one person whisper that they were sure he was
gay. I was cool with that.
We followed him into the room and he instructed us to just take a seat for now
until the others arrived.
I grabbed a chair and sat near the back of the others, not really wanting to
join in with the various conversations. My eyes kept glancing over to Mr Way at
his desk. He was looking through the list of names and looking up every now and
again.
The TA arrived soon after; a woman in her late forties, I think. She was smiley
and made jokes and Mr Way got on with her immediately.
More people arrived while Mr Way and the TA talked about something I didn't
really understand. I kinda wanted to be in on it though for some reason.
Willow wasn't going to see the play because it was her dad's birthday. So that
meant that I would probably spend most of the evening by myself and I was
perfectly cool with that. Being social was hard sometimes.
After ten or so minutes of waiting, practically everyone who was going had
arrived so Mr Way grabbed his list and stood in front of the stage. He started
calling out names and ticking them off the list.
I sort of zoned out while he did this but when he called my name, I had to
double take a little. I said "Here" in response of course but a couple of
people were looking at me with interest.
Mr Way had called out everyone by their first name like a normal teacher would.
Although, when he got to me, instead of saying "Frank", he called "Iero".
It wasn't that strange but I was the only one he called by my last name on the
register. Did that make me special or something?
I told myself to stop my wishful thinking. It probably didn't mean anything at
all. He always addressed me by my last name.
Mr Way grinned when he had ticked off the last person. "Let us depart!" He
called out to the class, folding the list and shoving it in one of his back
pockets.
Everyone started getting up and putting the chairs against the wall again,
talking. I did the same but in silence.
Mr Way was putting on his jacket and grabbing his keys and phone and sliding
them into the pockets. He went to the door and started leading everyone down
the corridor, outside onto the campus. The TA followed everyone else, making
sure no one strayed from the group.
Even though I would have liked to have walked by Mr Way, I stayed near the
back. I didn't want to make it obvious that I had a pathetic crush on my
teacher. It was annoying enough as it was without people finding out.
We went out to the front of the school to find a bus waiting for us. Everyone
filed on, immediately going for the back seats.
I made sure I was the last to get on just in case someone ended up sitting by
me. I didn't mind sitting near the front and being the loser with no friends. I
had plenty of practice.
There were only four seats left when I got on, parallel to each other at the
front. I didn't give a shit as I sat down next to the window of one of the
double seats.
The TA climbed on and sat down on the other window seat, smiling at me as she
did.
I smiled vaguely in her direction, attempting slightly to be polite.
Mr Way climbed on, spoke to the driver, and sat down next to the TA.
"Is everyone here?" He looked towards the back of the bus.
There were various calls of "yes" in reply.
Mr Way grinned and said, "Let's go then!" He then turned back to the front as
the driver pulled away from the school.
As he turned, Mr Way spotted me and smiled. "Iero, how are you?"
I couldn't help but smile widely back. "Good, Sir. How are you?"
"I'm marvellous," His smile grew bigger somehow. "It's going to be a beauteous
night!"
I couldn't help but laugh a little and nod in agreement. It was really cute how
enthusiastic he got.
The journey took a little over an hour. Apart from the noise from the back of
the bus, I actually didn't hate the journey.
Mr Way would occasionally lean over and say something or ask me a question and
I would reply almost too eagerly. Thank fuck he didn't notice.
The theatre we were dropped off at was small but promising. It wasn't a shitty
little backstreet one; it was an official theatre in Jersey. I didn't even know
this place existed.
When we made it inside, the play was more or less about to start so we entered
the main theatre and took our seats. It took a while to sort out where everyone
was sitting though.
The TA sat on one end of the first row of ours and Mr Way sat on the other end
of the second row. Somehow, I managed to get the seat by him. I don't even know
how that happened but I wasn't about to question it.
Just before the play began, Mr Way flashed his white smile at me and whispered,
"It's going to be angelic."
***** Left Alone *****
The play was a little over an hour and a half, with an interval in the middle.
I surprised myself by actually enjoying it.
The seating arrangement on the coach on the way back was more or less the same
as on the way there. However...
Mr Way climbed on last again, patted the driver on the back and took another
register. When he had finished, he said something quiet to the TA before
sliding into the seat next to me.
"I hope you don't mind me sitting here?" He smiled at me.
It took me a second to understand what was happening. "Uh no. Go ahead." I
smiled a little.
I felt a little uncomfortable for a moment as I realised how much of a
teacher's pet I actually was. That was until Mr Way started talking about the
play and the symbolism of different parts and how much he had enjoyed it. I had
never thought of plays to be something to analyse but I guess you learn a new
thing every day.
The journey back to school felt quicker than the one there and soon, we were
stood in the school's parking lot, waiting for our parents to pick us up. Mr
Way had insisted we were picked up as it was getting on for half seven and
because it was the start of the year, it was still getting dark early.
I hoped my dad would be here soon because it was honestly pretty chilly and all
I wanted to do was eat a shitload and collapse in bed, hating myself and my
stupid crush on my teacher.
Sadly, my dad was late as usual. By the time there were only two of us left,
with the TA and Mr Way waiting, Mr Way let the TA leave and said he would wait
with us. The TA left and we continued to wait.
By the time ten to eight came around, the other kid waiting was finally picked
up so that meant it was just me and Mr Way waiting. I hadn't really talked to
him since before, on the coach.
Mr Way seemed to be staring up at the sky. "It's a shame the stars are arduous
to observe." He suddenly said out loud.
I looked up as well. Sure enough, only a few were visible in the night sky.
"Probably pollution." I said.
"Such a shame." He sighed.
I looked at him again. He honestly looked so beautiful at that moment, staring
up at the night sky in the half-light with the moon shining down his face. I
felt slightly mesmerised.
"Iero?" He pulled me out of my gaze by looking at me.
"Uh yeah?" I had to look away out of embarrassment.
"Will your parent or guardian be here yet? It's honestly no worry but I am
getting a little cold." I could hear the slight guilt in his voice.
"I told my dad we'd be back by half seven." I said quietly, "I could start
walking. I only live around-"
"Oh no!" He cut me off, causing me to look at him again, "There is no earthly
way I will allow you to wander off on your own."
I couldn't help but smile a little.
He recognised it and smiled back, moving closer to stand next to me. "In normal
circumstances, I have an aversion to small talk. However, this seems like a
suitable time to use it." He paused for a moment as he thought about what to
say next.
I watched him, wondering what type of small talk he meant.
In the end, he said, "How are you feeling about your character now? More
confident? Or less so?"
To be perfectly honest, I hadn't given my role much thought. I couldn't tell
him that though.
"I feel the same, I guess." I shrugged.
Mr Way sucked on his bottom lip as he thought of a response. He eventually
replied with, "How are Fridays after school?"
"What?" I frowned.
He smirked at me, "For that extra help. I would suggest during your free
lessons but I occasionally have meetings then so I simply couldn't commit one
hundred per cent. How about Fridays after school? You come to my classroom and
we work on characterisation and overall confidence while performing. How does
that sound?"
A smile slowly grew on my face. "That sounds great, Sir. Thanks."
"That is no problem at all, Iero." He replied with. He was about to speak again
when he stopped and then changed his thought process. "Might this be your
father?"
I looked in the same direction and sure enough, my dad was pulling into the
parking lot. It was about fucking time. Although, I didn't really want to end
this conversation. Too bad.
My dad turned around and waited by the end of the car park for me.
"I shall see you on Monday then." Mr Way pulled his shoulder bag over his
shoulders properly. "Have a cordial weekend."
"You too, Sir." I smiled back before making my way over to my dad's car.
As my dad pulled out of the parking lot, I watched Mr Way get into his own car
and a smile made its way onto my face without my permission.
"Is that your teacher?" My dad asked.
"Yeah."
"How old is he? He looks pretty young." My dad observed.
"I don't know." I shrugged, facing forward again.
"He only looks a couple years older than you."
Don't remind me, I thought.
***** Iero *****
I was the picture of nervousness as I made my way to Mr Way's classroom the
next Friday for my extra help. I wasn't sure what I was so nervous about
though. It wasn't like anything was going to happen.
I waited outside the classroom while his last class of the day made their way
out. When everyone had left, I knocked on the door and opened it cautiously.
Mr Way was leaning against his desk, looking down at his phone. As soon as I
was halfway through the door, his head snapped up and a smile appeared on his
face.
"Iero! Welcome!" He put his phone away, "Come in, come in!"
I smiled as I shut the door behind myself and came into the room.
"Put your belongings down and grab a chair." He gestured towards the stacks of
chairs against the wall.
I did as he instructed and pulled a chair near to his desk.
Meanwhile, he had rolled his desk chair round to the front of the desk and sat
down, his smile intact as always.
I sat down and waited, not sure what to expect. Would we run through lines? It
was a bit hard to go through any scenes with just the two of us. Was he
planning on playing all the other parts just so I could go through the scenes?
"Right, first things first." Mr Way crossed one of his legs over the other,
"How are you feeling?"
I blinked, not having had expected that kind of question. When was the last
time any other teacher asked how I was? Mr Way seemed to ask every time we saw
each other. It was kinda nice, actually.
"I'm okay." I replied, "How are you?" I wondered if any other student asked how
he was.
His eyes seemed to smile with his mouth. "I'm spectacular. I think today, we
should just have a nice chat and discuss your issues. No use throwing yourself
in."
That put me at ease. I always felt a little nervous about performing and now I
knew that I wouldn't be today, I felt better about being there.
"That sounds good, Sir."
"I'm glad you concur." He seemed to subconsciously fiddle with some of the hair
by his right ear. I couldn't help but watch as he did, partly wanting to mess
with his hair myself.
I stopped myself mid-daydream. I wasn't allowed to think like that about him.
"Is there anything you'd particularly like to discuss?" He pulled me out of my
internal argument.
"Uh not especially." I admitted. I had been hoping he would suggest something.
Luckily, he did have different things to talk about and we spent twenty or so
minutes talking about my character's background and the best way I could play
him. I found his different interpretations really interesting and I knew I
would be using his ideas instead of thinking up my own. His were just so much
better. Better than anything I would think up anyway.
"Do you feel a little more sanguine about your role now?" He asked.
When I frowned in response, he smiled and said, "Happy, positive."
"Oh." I felt stupid. "Yeah, a little."
"We still have a lot to work on." He stood up, his crotch right in my eye line.
"Today is just the start."
I nodded and looked up quickly so it didn't look like I had been staring.
He was smiling down at me. It looked like he was deliberating something in his
head. In the end, he headed back round his desk and said, "If you like, we
could look at physicality next week."
I stood up as well and stood the other side of the desk, watching him as he
attempted to clean up some of the paperwork. "Yeah, okay."
He looked up and grinned at me. I could tell I would never get tired of his
smile. It was so warm and welcoming. Just like him.
"Marvellous, Iero. Do you have any questions?"
His way of addressing me suddenly made me think of something. For some reason I
was feeling particularly bold because I asked, "Why do you always call me by my
last name?"
I watched as he chuckled lightly. "Iero." He said it slowly, enjoying the sound
on his tongue, "It's such a fascinating name. To be perfectly candid, I rather
enjoy saying it."
I couldn't help but smirk at his answer. Obviously that was the reason.
"I hate my name." I admitted.
He gasped dramatically. "What did I say about the word hate, Frank?"
I ignored the thrill I felt at hearing my first name and answered, "It's a
strong emotion."
"That is correct. By any means, you should not hate your own name. I happen to
find it quite admirable."
I looked down as I said, "Some people like to make fun of it."
It was silent for a moment until I heard, "Frank."
I looked up and had to catch my breath when I saw Mr Way standing next to me.
Quite closely, I might add.
"You will encounter immature and unworthy people in your lifetime. Many won't
be worth your time. When you find the people who are, however, you will
appreciate them very much and forget the ignorant people you had to put up with
for so long. Also, this is high school. You're bound to meet some assholes, for
want of a better word." He smiled when he had finished and I couldn't help but
smile as well.
"Thanks, Sir." I noticed my voice was quieter than I'd intended it to be.
He placed a hand on my shoulder. "That is quite alright, Frank. For the record,
I happen to love your name."
I managed to hold in a blush. "Thanks. Yours is pretty cool, too."
He laughed and dropped his hand, much to my disappointment. However, he stayed
stood right in front of me.
"Do you have any plans for this weekend?" He asked. Some small, stupid part of
me wished he was going to ask me to do something. I was such a hopeful loser.
"Not really." I shrugged.
"Sadly, I have a lot of marking to get on with." He shrugged in response, "How
boring life can be."
"Uh yeah." I smiled slightly.
He smiled back and we stood like that, smiling at each other, for a few moments
before he finally moved back round to the other side of the desk and said, "I
don't want to keep you any longer. Good work today."
I hadn't actually done anything but I thanked him anyway and grabbed my bag.
"See you Monday." I placed the chair back on one of the stacks by the wall.
He was sitting back down behind his desk, shuffling loads of different bits of
paper. "Yes, Monday." He grinned, "I look forward to it."
***** Attracted *****
"I would like for you all to write an essay for me on the performing arts
practitioner, Brecht, for two weeks on Monday. There are no debarments; no
exceptions. If you don't comply," He began to look around the room and his eyes
settled on me as he said, "I will have to punish you."
I squirmed a little in my seat. I couldn't tell if he was directing this at me
or the whole class. Before I could scrutinise his expression, he moved back
over to the desk.
I began to blank out the class talking around me. Why did he have to say
'punish' like that? It made it seem dirty or something. Oh, man. No way was I
going to start thinking of him in that way. I'd done well so far not
fantasising about him. I knew that if I let my guard down for a second, it
could ruin everything. It didn't help that he was so obviously attractive
anyway. I had been trying to ignore that key aspect but now it seemed to be
back and biting me on the ass.
Mr Way paid close attention to our group for the rest of the lesson. I wasn't
sure but it felt like he was watching me more than anyone else. That could be
true; he could be watching to see if my confidence had improved. More likely,
he wasn't watching me at all. I was just letting my crush on him get to me.
Seriously though, it was a pretty big inconvenience.
As soon as the bell went, I couldn't wait to get out of there. My mind was
beginning to wander and think about what sort of punishment Mr Way had in store
for anyone who didn't write the essay. I was very tempted not to do it just to
find out.
I spent the next period trying to focus on German but failing. You have no idea
how hard I was concentrating on not getting a boner.
When I noticed it was five minutes until my free period, I almost fell into a
state of panic. No way was I going to Mr Way's classroom when I was imagining
him punishing me. And I didn't just mean with a detention.
I went to the toilets first and stood in a cubicle, trying to focus on
something else. Dead puppies. My grandma. Girls.
That seemed to do the trick and I made my way as slowly as possible to Mr Way's
classroom.
He wasn't there when I arrived but the door was open as usual. I took advantage
of his absence and sat on the stage, going on my phone and trying to distract
myself.
I didn't notice him arrive at first. He usually made some grand entry but this
time, he was suddenly next to the desk, watching me.
I had a bit of a double take before I realised he was actually there. I put my
phone down and jumped back onto the floor. "Sorry, Sir. I didn't see you come
in. I'll um... grab a chair."
That contagious smile of his appeared and he replied with, "Nonsense, Iero! You
can sit on the stage if you so wish. After all, I do all the time."
I took that incentive and climbed back up. It was a bit of a jump for me due to
my short legs but I pretended not to notice.
"In fact," He started coming towards me, "I shall join you."
I was silent as he sat down next to me. He sighed contently before grinning at
me. "How are you?"
"I'm alright." I shrugged, "How are you?"
He was nodding before I'd even finished the question. "Good, yes." He answered.
It was silent until he randomly asked, "Have you seen Batman vs Superman yet?"
It took me a moment to take in what he was asking. "Um... Yeah, I have." My dad
had taken me that weekend actually and for some reason, I was pretty glad I had
seen it just so I could talk to Mr Way about it. To be honest, even if I hadn't
seen it, I probably would have told him I had just to get in his good books. My
head was stupid in that sense.
"I saw it last night." His smile had turned into a contemplative look, "What
did you think?"
"Honestly?" I didn't want to sound like I was dissing it but... "I found it
hard to follow at first and I thought Jesse Eisenberg played Lex Luther as too
psychotic."
Mr Way was watching me intently as I spoke and when I had finished, he was
nodding. "I complete agree." He said and I felt better about voicing my views.
"It wasn't clear why Bruce hated Clark and don't get me started on Lois Lane."
I couldn't help but giggle and we had a full-blown conversation on the
characters, plot and film overall. We then discussed the other superhero films
that were scheduled to come out this year. It turned out that Mr Way was a
massive comic book nerd, something I hadn't expected. For some reason, I
thought he would have looked down his nose at all of that but I guess that just
because he speaks poshly, doesn't mean he's a snob.
This whole insight as to who he was as a person instead of just a teacher
didn't do much to help my crush. If anything, it just fuelled it even more. Mr
Way was a comic book nerd who had a great taste in films and spoke to me like I
was a human being instead of just another student.
I could tell that this would just be the beginning of the sort of conversations
we would have in the future. I was seeing him as more of a friend than a
teacher which was probably a bad thing but I honestly didn't care. I enjoyed
talking to him.
I knew I would probably regret this in the future but for the time being, I was
enjoying myself.
***** Physical *****
I was finding it hard seeing Mr Way in any way other than an attractive, off
limits guy. The more time I spent with him, the more I saw him as a friend and
my stupid mind kept wanting him to be more. That was never going to happen
though. He was in his twenties and I was seventeen. That was very illegal.
"Was it physicality I said last week?" Mr Way looked up from his phone.
I frowned as I thought back. "I think so."
He nodded and got up from his desk, leaving his phone there.
I had managed not to think too much about the small inconvenience that had
happened on Tuesday. By that, I mean: the fact that I really wanted to go down
on my teacher.
Mr Way started unbuttoning his sleeves and rolling them up to his elbows. He
really needed to stop doing that. It wasn't helping.
"Come on into the space, Iero." He gestured for me to join him.
I reluctantly jumped down from the stage and stood in front of him, making sure
there was a little bit of distance between us.
"Have you thought about physicality at all yet?" He asked, watching me
carefully.
To be perfectly honest, I had no idea what he meant by that. "Uh..." I bit my
lip, "No?"
He smiled a little. "Well, let's look at it today then."
I felt a bit nervous because I had no idea what he had planned. Physicality was
just a little too close to the word physical for me. I wasn't about to start
thinking about Mr Way and something physical in the same room.
"What I like to do," He began, "When I'm playing a new character, I stand in
neutral stance and close my eyes. I then think about how that character would
stand and how they would hold themselves. I start with my feet and work my way
up until I'm standing as my character. Would you like to give it a go?"
It sounded kinda pretentious to me but I nodded anyway. Guess this is what
actors do.
"Close you eyes, Iero, and get into the neutral stance." His voice seemed
quieter than before or maybe that was just me.
I closed my eyes and instantly felt vulnerable. Like I was on display. I was on
display for Mr Way.
Okay, I needed to be stopped.
"Stand with your legs shoulder width apart and imagine a piece of string is
pulling your body upwards."
I did as he asked and then waited.
He didn't speak for a few moments until he was suddenly behind me. "Like this."
His voice was even quieter. One hand appeared between my shoulder blades and
another lightly touched my chest. He then moved my back a little so I was
standing a little straighter.
His hands stayed where they were for a second and then disappeared.
I realised then that I had been holding my breath up until he moved.
His voice was back in front of me, "How would he stand, Frank?"
I ignored the stupid feeling I got when he called me by my first name.
"Would he have a confident way of holding himself? Would he have bad posture?
How do you see him?"
I thought for a moment. "I think he'd be more confident at the beginning of the
play but then his posture gets worse to represent how the situation's effecting
him."
Where the fuck did that come from? I was seriously spending way too much time
with this guy.
"Very good, Frank." He commended, a smile in his voice. "Stand how you think he
would at the start of the play."
I moved until I felt comfortable and opened my eyes.
He was standing in front of me, a small smile on his face and a look of
concentration in his eyes.
I waited as he began to circle me, moving closer with every step, until he
stopped right in front of me.
"The end of the play?" He stepped back a little.
I rearranged myself so my shoulders were more forward and my head was lower.
Mr Way was nodding, thinking it over. Eventually, he said, "I like it. I like
it very much."
I couldn't help but smile at his approval and that made his smile grow as well.
"You can relax now."
I sighed in relief and stood normally. I hadn't noticed how bad my posture was
before. Huh.
"That was very good, Frank. I believe we've made some good progress. Hopefully
this has made you think about Adam more and how you'd like to play him."
I nodded. "Yeah. This has helped. Thanks, Sir."
He moved forward and placed his hand on my shoulder. That seemed to be one of
his favourite positions. "That is no problem at all. I look forward to our next
session."
"I do too." I said without thinking. I didn't regret saying it though because
his smile got even bigger.
"I'm glad." He lingered on my shoulder for a moment before moving away
completely and going over to the desk.
I grabbed my bag and looked at him silently before saying, "See you on Monday."
He looked up, grinning away as usual. "Of course."
I stood awkwardly for a moment before leaving the room. It was the weekend
which meant plenty of time to think about my obsession and cry over the fact
nothing could ever happen.
I'm joking, of course. I won't cry; I'll just strop and feel sorry for myself.
I might as well be crying.
***** Well, Fuck It *****
So.
I was fucked. Actually, I was more than fucked. I had let myself get too
involved and let myself daydream and now look where I was: stuck in a big
fucking rut.
It had started off with just a bit of simple admiration. That changed to
something a little more and then soon, I was on the road of no return.
Why had I let this happen? There had been plenty of opportunities when I could
have stopped myself. Why had I been so selfish and let myself do this?
It was such a fucking waste of feelings as well. It wasn't just the fact that
it was unrequited; it was that if it was requited, there was no shot in hell
that anything would happen.
Not that it was requited. At all.
I knew what I was getting myself into and I just fucking carried on my way, not
caring at all. But now, I cared too much. There was never a middle ground.
I knew there was no turning back when my teenage boy hormones started to wake
up from apparent hibernation and I saw my teacher in more of a sexual way.
So it turned out that I didn't just have feelings for him, I was lusting after
him as well. Jeez, Frank, get ahold of yourself.
That was the last thing I needed. Hiding my feelings was one thing but hiding a
boner was another. God, imagine how embarrassing that would be.
Luckily, I only thought of Mr Way in that way when I was at home in the privacy
of my bedroom. There, I would think up different scenarios involving my
favourite teacher and myself. When I was done, I would call myself disgusting
and vow to never think of Mr Way in that way again.
I was such a good liar, I even fooled himself sometimes.
Other than the obvious physical attraction I was having towards him, my
feelings were getting even stronger every time I saw him and I had no idea why.
I knew he was my teacher and I knew he was off-limits but I still liked him
anyway??? What the fuck was wrong with me?
As I said though, he was beginning to act more like a friend than a teacher
towards me. I wasn't sure if he was doing it subconsciously or not but it was
happening whether I liked it or not. And obviously, I really liked it.
It was getting to the point that I would rather spend time with him than with
well... anyone else. I felt comfortable around him. I was in way too deep.
He just made me feel so much happier than anyone I'd ever met. It didn't make
any sense but I was just accepting it now because what the fuck ever. He made
me happy. Why would I deprive myself of his company?
It wasn't like I could avoid him anyway. He was my fucking teacher. I saw him
nearly every day. To be honest, if I had the opportunity to see him at the
weekends as well, I would take it.
That just showed how fucked I was, like I said.
I had no idea how to fix all of this shit and honestly, I couldn't be fucked to
do so. I'd accepted how screwed I was. I'd deal with the heartache later.
Although, if I wasn't mistaken, he was either flirting with me on purpose or
unintentionally lately. Or maybe I was just being hopeful/stupid.
"Mr Iero, could I have your opinion on something?" He asked me one day during
the free.
I looked up from my own phone.
Mr Way had spent the last fifteen minutes or so doing work or something at his
desk so I had just sat on the stage and scrolled through Tumblr.
"Uh yeah, sure." I put my phone away and jumped down off the stage.
When I was by the desk, he looked up and smiled at me. "What do you think of
this drawing?" He held it up.
Seriously? He had been doodling? Why wasn't I surprised.
I stared at the drawing in front of me. It was a cartoon drawing of... a cat.
Right.
"A cat?" I raised an eyebrow.
He looked at the picture. "My favorite animal."
"I thought you were doing some marking or something."
He looked at me as if I was stupid. "I'll get to that later."
So he had priorities then. I smirked and sat in the chair I had originally
placed next to the desk. "So cats, huh? I would've thought your favorite animal
was something foreign and that I'd never heard of it." It seemed too normal for
him.
He grinned and put the picture back down on his desk. "Cats are undoubtably...
the best."
I shook my head. "I disagree."
His smile disappeared and he cocked one eyebrow up. "And what, Mr Iero, is your
favorite animal?" He leant forward and rested his elbows on the table.
I crossed one leg over the other and smiled at him. "Dog."
He smirked at my answer. "How unsettling. You're a dog person?"
"And you're a cat person." I stated, not letting up on my grin.
He was quiet for a moment before he said. "And here was me thinking we had real
chemistry. Disappointing."
Chemistry? As in, relationship chemistry?
Before I could either reply or make strange noises, he picked up the picture
again.
"Art is another passion of mine." He told me.
"It's a good drawing." I fiddled with my sleeve. I looked up to see him
grinning as usual at me.
"That compliment is much appreciated, Frank. Thank you."
I smiled back at him, "You're welcome."
***** Cliff Hangers Make Bad Chapter Endings *****
"Very good, Iero..." Mr Way's voice was quiet and soft as he praised my line
reading.
Fridays were becoming unbearable. It didn't matter what we focussed on;
physicality, voice, line learning, I always felt like there was an unspoken
tension between us. I definitely knew he behaved differently compared to when
it was just a free or a lesson.
In lessons, I was reminded that he was my teacher. He would focus on everyone,
not just me.
During frees, we spent the time talking about random crap like movies and comic
books and music. I thought that maybe he felt comfortable around me which was
why we had hour long talks about anything. I was getting to know him really
well.
But Fridays were different. On Fridays, he was a different person entirely. I
wasn't sure if he was just that passionate about acting or what but there was
certainly a change in the atmosphere every time we started to work.
He liked to look at physicality more than was probably needed and he always
made me get into the neutral stance at the beginning of each session. Of
course, he never failed to redirect my body in some way by using his hands to
guide me.
I felt like you could cut the sexual tension with a knife or maybe that was
just me. Yeah, it was just me.
Mr Way walked closer to me so he was standing less than half a metre away. "I
know you're still utilising your own voice but I like how you've made Adam a
separate entity from yourself. Very good work."
It was stupid but I loved it when he praised me. It just fuelled my daydreams
and apparently yes, I did want my teacher to fuck me and then commend me for
it. That was the sort of thing he would do.
"Thanks, Sir." I hadn't realised how quiet my own voice had gone as well. I
guess it had been taken away in the moment. Jeez, this sounded like some shitty
romance novel. Without the romance.
Mr Way moved closer and began to circle me. He liked to do that at least once a
session and I had no idea why. It felt like he was stalking his prey or just
looking me up and down. Either way, I felt exposed.
"Have you read the play yet?" He asked.
He had given me a full copy of it a week ago and honestly, I had read the
majority of it already. To be honest, at this moment, I was accepting that I
was a total teacher's pet.
"Nearly finished it." I said.
"And how's the essay coming along? It's due on Monday." He stopped behind me.
Oh, fuck, I'd forgotten about the essay. So much for being a self-diagnosed
teacher's pet.
"I forgot." I admitted, "I haven't started it yet." At least I had the weekend.
I heard him tut slowly before saying, "You've had two weeks, Iero." He started
walking round again until he was in front of me.
"I know. I just forgot, sorry."
He stared at me for a moment, processing something in his mind. "I don't have
to punish you now, do I?" He raised an eyebrow.
Before I could will myself to form any sort of reply, he smirked at himself and
turned, walking towards the desk.
He had to stop doing that. It wasn't fair.
"Frank, you've come a long way from just reading the lines." He faced me again,
leaning back against the desk.
"Not without your help, Sir." God, I was a total kiss-ass.
He smiled and stayed quiet.
Was I supposed to leave now or...? Usually, he said something like, 'see you
next week'.
Even though the silence wasn't awkward, I felt a little uncomfortable. Okay,
maybe I should leave then.
I began to move from my spot.
I didn't expect him to suddenly say, "Did I say relax, Iero?"
I stopped. "Uh no..."
"Well?" He stood up properly.
Biting my lip, I returned to the neutral stance. What was happening? This
wasn't normal.
Mr Way came over to me again. "You really need to work on this." He whispered
as he placed a hand on my back and one on my chest to push my shoulders back a
little.
I stayed silent and watched him watch his hands. He slowly moved them until
they were both resting on my shoulders and he squeezed them lightly.
He sighed contently. I wasn't too sure what to do but I didn't not like what he
was doing.
"I knew you would do Adam's part justice. Your group will be very pleased." He
finally looked at my face again.
"Thanks, Sir..." My voice was barely audible.
His eyebrows furrowed together slightly and he bit his lip. Oh, man, he needed
to stop doing that expression before I started thinking stupidly again.
He moaned lightly and whispered, "This is becoming an arduous task, Iero. I'm
not sure I can comply anymore."
I frowned at what he said. "What?" Please don't tell me he was saying what I
thought he was saying.
He sighed, his hands still on my shoulders. "I am uncertain of your affections
towards me..." He looked down for a second before looking at me again, "But I
am finding it difficile to stay away from you, Frank."
I knew I was still breathing but it felt like I was choking. Was he saying that
he felt the same way?
"Sir, I-"
"No." He cut me off, finally dropping his hands slowly back down to his sides.
"This is very unprofessional of me. Please excuse me. I'll see you on Monday."
He backed away before turning and heading for the doors.
No fucking way was I letting him leave now.
"Sir, wait!" I called.
He froze, mid-step, his back towards me.
I quickly caught up to him and stood in front of him, blocking his path. "What
you said-"
"Just forget I mentioned anything." He looked so uncomfortable. This was the
most exposed I'd ever seen him.
He looked like he was about to dart out of the room so without thinking, I
burst out, "I have feelings for you!"
I watched as his eyes widened. "Frank, I-"
"I know it's stupid." Oh, God, here it all came. "But it's true. I think I've
liked you since the first day. You're my favourite teacher and a great friend
and I have feelings for you. I'm sorry..."
I felt a little embarrassed but as soon as I had said it, I felt so much
better. I hadn't realised how much of a weight it had been on my shoulders.
A hand appeared on my shoulder. I looked up to see him smiling sadly at me.
"Please don't apologise." His voice was the quietest I had ever heard it.
"But-"
"Don't apologise." He was moving closer to me. "Just... Shut the fuck up a
moment."
Before I could even realise he had swore, his lips suddenly touched mine and I
involuntarily moaned under his mouth.
Fuck fuck fuck.
***** Woah *****
I felt like I was flying or some shit. I hadn't kissed anyone since some guy
had kissed me as part of a dare in eighth grade. That had actually made me
realise that I liked guys so thanks, random dude.
This kiss was completely different though. Mr Way was obviously experienced as
he was a really fucking good kisser.
I felt like I was in danger of getting hard or something soon just because this
was the first time this had ever happened: a really attractive, older guy was
purposely kissing me. Me.
Mr Way kissed me deeply and before I could even work out what I was supposed to
be doing, he abruptly pulled away.
I blinked my eyes open to see him looking at me sadly.
"I can't, Frank." He whispered, looking down.
"But..." I had no idea what to say. Would he believe me if I said that all I
thought about was him and that he was the most attractive man I'd ever met?
He sighed and looked up again. He looked slightly angry at himself as he said,
"This isn't right. It's... It's illegal."
"I can act older." I was getting desperate at this point. All I wanted was his
lips on mine again. "I can be older. Just give me a chance, please."
His expression softened. "You're only seventeen, Frank. I'm twenty-three."
I thought he was only in his early twenties and I was right. I wasn't sure if I
was happier I knew his age now or not. It just made me feel even younger.
"That's not that bad. I've heard of worse." I tried to convince him. No way was
I letting this go without a fight. Tonight, I was either going to cry when I
arrived home or celebrate. I hoped it was the latter.
"It is bad." He really looked like he was having an internal debate with
himself. "But you're different. You're..."
He moved closer again and my breath caught in my throat. Please. Please.
He must have heard my pleads because he placed his hands on either side of my
face and said, "You're special, Iero." Then, his lips were on mine again.
I had no idea what to do with my hands. They flailed for a moment before I
hesitantly placed them on Mr Way's hips.
He moved into my embrace before stopping himself midway and pushing me back.
The move surprised me and it took me a second to catch my breath.
"Fuck." He made himself back away from me until he was across the room.
I wasn't letting him get away though. I followed him, saying, "Please. I really
like you and you obviously like me too. Just give me a chance."
He stopped next to the desk, his back to me like before. He mumbled something
that I didn't quite hear before turning round to face me again.
I stopped about a metre away from him and waited to see what he would say.
"You are so young." His voice was quiet again. He stepped closer. "You don't
want to waste your time with me. You deserve so much more."
"But I want you." I stepped forward as well so I was looking up at him, "I've
always wanted you."
His breathing hitched up slightly and he stared at me silently. I felt one of
his hands reach out and stroke the back of my left hand.
"I..." It was the first time I'd seen him without words.
He cleared his throat before finally saying, "You are the first person I've
desired in a long time. I feel like we really have something, Frank. But..." He
sighed again and I could tell this was really upsetting him.
I decided to show him I could be an adult. I closed the gap between us and
pressed my lips against his, wrapping my arms around his neck.
He made a surprised noise but soon gave in and kissed me back. This kiss felt
more urgent than the last two. Maybe because I was leading it.
I could tell he wanted to pull away again but I held onto him, adamant that I
wasn't letting him go. I wanted him all to myself.
After a couple of minutes, we both had to pull away for air. I kept my arms
around him as I stared into his eyes.
He stared back at me and smiled a small smile. "You are truly beautiful." He
randomly mumbled and I blushed in response.
No one had ever called me beautiful before.
"I think." He slowly moved my arms from around his neck so they were by my
sides again. "We should leave this for over the weekend."
I frowned in confusion. What did he mean?
He understood and rephrased it, "I'm not saying we should do anything about
this reciprocated attraction but I'm not saying we shouldn't either. I'm going
to give you the weekend to see if this is what you really want."
"I do really want-"
He cut me off, "Think about it, Frank. And um... Don't worry about the essay."
He grabbed his jacket and briefcase and smiled before turning for the door. He
stopped for a second and then faced me again.
"Admittedly, I want to kiss you goodbye but I won't. I'll see you on Monday,
Frank."
Didn't I get a say in the matter?
It was too late anyway as he turned and left the room, leaving me in the
aftermath of everything that had just happened.
I knew I didn't need the weekend to figure out if this was what I wanted. I was
just worried that he would talk himself out of it and think of more reasons why
this was a bad idea.
Well, it was a pretty bad idea but I didn't care. I wanted this. I wanted him.
***** Idiot *****
The weekend seemed to drag on really slowly. I had nothing to consider. I knew
what I wanted. I was just worried that Mr Way would either pretend nothing had
happened or had talked himself out of it. He had already done that a bit
already.
By the time Monday was finally here, I actually felt slightly nervous. Part of
me knew that he was going to let me down but I still felt hopeful, just in
case.
Mr Way was already in his classroom when I made my way to Drama, along with
most of the class. I knew he wouldn't speak to me about it now so I pretended
nothing had happened. I was in Drama after all. This was the only place acting
was allowed.
He seemed to be avoiding me at first, spending more time with the other group
instead of ours. Although, halfway through the lesson, he came over to ours and
watched our rehearsal silently.
I definitely felt on show. I knew now that I wasn't being paranoid or anything.
He had to be watching me.
I used his advice and changed my physicality and tone of voice while I played
my part. I tried not to look at him but I couldn't help it at one point and if
I wasn't mistaken, he was smiling a little.
At the end of the lesson, he stood by the door and wouldn't let anyone out
unless they gave him the essay. I obviously hadn't written one and I hoped he
was still allowing me to get away with it. I made sure I was the last one out
anyway and I felt nervous about being face to face with him.
Two people who hadn't done the homework were stood next to him and when he got
to me, he said, "Hang on, Frank," and turned to them. After he had a word with
them about staying on top of deadlines, he gave them both an extension until
the end of the week and let them go. That was pretty nice of him. Most teachers
would just give them detention and make them give it in the next day. Mr Way
really was a considerate teacher.
We were alone and I knew I was probably going to be late to German. Were we
going to have a talk now? Surely he had another lesson.
He smiled a small smile, "I have a meeting during the free so could you come
back at the end of the day? We need to talk properly with no interruptions."
Before I could say anything, he walked back to his desk and said over his
shoulder, "I'll see you later."
I felt a little confused. How was he acting so relaxed while I was practically
shitting bricks? I now had to wait even longer to see what was going to happen.
This was torture.
Obviously, I paid little to no attention in my other classes and the free felt
way too long. By the time it finally was the end of the day, I had no idea what
to expect. I knew this was too good to be true but I still went to his
classroom anyway. I at least deserved to hear what his reasons were. Even
though I was sure I already knew.
I knocked on the door hesitantly and opened it.
He looked up from his desk and smiled that same small smile as earlier. It was
a pity smile wasn't it?
I came into the room and shut the door behind me, unsure if I should go over to
him or not.
"Frank." He didn't move either. After an awkward couple of seconds, he said,
"Come here, please."
I did as he asked and slowly walked over to him until I was a metre or two in
front of him. I stayed silent. I was willing myself not to cry when he said it.
I couldn't show him how invested I was already if he wasn't as well. That would
just be sad.
He took a deep breath before saying, "Are you sure-"
"I am." I cut him off, determined to have my say in the matter as well.
"Here was me hoping you had changed your mind over the weekend." He sighed and
rested on the edge of the desk.
"Really?" My voice was small, showing the disappointment I felt.
He stared at me for a moment before he looked down. "No. I would be lying if I
said I didn't crave your affections."
I tried not to feel too happy by that. If he still shot me down, that would
hurt even more.
"But?" I decided to help him out. There was no point in dragging this out. We
both knew how this was going to end.
He looked up again. He seriously looked so angry and upset at the same time.
"I'm your teacher. That's the but."
"I'm willing to look past that." I said.
He smirked and stood up properly again. "I know that. I'm not sure if I can
though." His face dropped.
That was the part I didn't want to hear.
"You do know that we're going to have to forget about this, right?" He started
fiddling with his hair out of uncomfortableness.
"What if I don't want to?" I stepped forward a little, surprised at my own
confidence.
"Frank-"
"No." I needed to get this out. This wasn't going down without a fight. "I know
I'm only seventeen but I'm not immature. It won't even seem like I'm that much
younger. I'll be eighteen this year anyway."
"Frank, please." Mr Way sighed, "It isn't just the fact that you're underage.
I'm your teacher. That in itself is illegal."
I knew I was losing this battle. The only thing I could do was use something
else.
I moved closer to him slowly. "I know but you're more than just my teacher."
He bit his lip as I stopped right in front of him. I stared at him and all I
could think about was him biting my lip instead of his own.
"I'm not just pretending nothing's happened." I said, "I really want you, Sir."
My last comment made his eyes close and he moaned quietly.
After a few moments, he whispered, "Get out..."
I frowned. I hadn't fucked this up already had I?
"Sir-"
"Get out!" He opened his eyes. "Please, just leave! I can't deal with this!"
His voice rose with each word and I felt a little intimidated.
I opened and closed my mouth like a fish as he stared at me.
"Frank!"
"Okay." My voice was small and tears stung in my eyes. Before I could make it
too obvious that I was going to cry like a loser, I turned and practically ran
out of the room.
I felt like such an idiot. What was wrong with me?
***** Nevermind *****
I skipped Drama the next day. After crying as soon as I got home and barely
sleeping, I wasn't really in the mood. I would've missed school altogether if I
didn't have a stupid English midterm. My mom would've killed me if I hadn't
have gone. So instead, I just missed Drama.
Oh and yeah, I wasn't going to his classroom for the free. Never a-fucking-gen.
I didn't even care. I knew it was childish of me but whatever.
Okay, not caring was a lie. I cared. I cared a lot. Way too much, to be honest.
During the free, I went and lay under a tree outside. I needed some time to
myself to think about everything that had happened.
I supposed now was the start of the "healing" process. How was I supposed to
even begin to get over a guy I saw every day? Maybe this had all been a bad
idea after all.
I sighed and closed my eyes. This all sucked ass.
After about half an hour of showering myself in self pity, I heard the
footsteps of someone approaching me. Probably a teacher coming to tell me off.
"Frank."
My eyes opened instantly and I sat up to see Mr Way looking down at me with his
hands in his pockets.
"What is it?" I muttered, pulling my knees up to my chest and hugging my legs.
"I know I should be respectful or whatever but I honestly don't give a shit."
"I appreciate your honesty." He replied as he sat down next to me cross-legged,
"Do you mind if I sit here?"
I only shrugged in response. I really couldn't be fucked for his stupid
apologies and excuses. However, I didn't expect what he said next.
"I have a daughter, Frank."
I frowned at him. What was the relevance?
"She's three years old. My ex and I had her at a very young age and no matter
how much I love her, it doesn't change the fact that she wasn't planned."
I didn't say anything, interested in where he was going with this.
"Occasionally, I feel as if a lot of my life isn't planned. I act on impulse
way too much. That means I have made a lot of mistakes." He started picking
some of the grass. "This, certainly, wasn't planned but just like my daughter,
you are not a mistake, Frank. I just want you to know that."
"Okay..." I still didn't quite understand what he was getting at but I went
along with it anyway.
He looked at me and smiled sadly. "I want to apologise for how I behaved
yesterday. I shouldn't have yelled at you."
"It's fine." I mumbled, wanting him to leave now. Couldn't I sit and wallow in
my self pity in peace?
"Either way, we still have a conclusion to come to. Why don't we talk like
adults?" He smiled at me.
I couldn't help but smile a little back. Did this mean that there was still a
chance?
"Let's go back to my classroom." He stood up and brushed down his pants. "So
our chat can be a bit more private."
I got up and followed him silently. I thought him sending me out yesterday was
the conclusion we had come to. So what was happening now?
When we got to his classroom, he opened the door and waited while I went in.
After shutting the door, he turned around and stared at me.
"What?" I felt so uncomfortable.
"Do you still... In your own words, want me?" He didn't move from in front of
the door.
I nodded. I had no words anymore.
I watched in silence as he turned and clicked something in the door. Did he
just... lock the door?
He faced me again and smiled at me.
Before I could begin to comprehend what was happening, he came closer to me and
practically grabbed my face.
I made a noise in surprise as his lips touched mine.
He kissed me softly at first before it became more urgent and soon, we both had
our arms around each other as we tried to get as close as possible.
I was basically living my teenage dream and I couldn't be happier. This kiss
was better than all the others combined. I could almost feel the desperation
and need and happiness coming from him.
And of course, the bell rang, ruining the moment.
Mr Way pulled away but kept his arms around me. "I'd better let you go to
lunch."
"I don't want to." I couldn't stop a smile from spreading across my face.
"I don't want you to either but I've got to go pick my brother up from the
train station." He smiled as well, "And I'm sad to say that you can't come with
me."
I pushed my bottom lip out in a pout.
He leant forward and kissed me again before pulling away completely.
I watched as he went over to his desk to grab his jacket. As he put it on, he
said, "Would it be terrible if I asked you to come back after school?"
The smile was seriously not leaving my face anytime soon. "I'll be here."
He grinned and came back over to me. "I look forward to it. See you later." He
kissed me softly before smiling and unlocking the door again.
I waited until he had left to go back outside. I had the urge to run and jump
around but I didn't. Instead, I walked to the cafeteria with a stupidly large
grin on my face. I was so fucking happy.
***** Dark Territory *****
I wasn't sure what to expect when I knocked on his classroom door at the end of
the day. It was a good thing we didn't have cameras in our school otherwise the
fact that I kept going to his room probably looked dodgy. Well, it was a
little.
I decided to knock just in case he wasn't in there. He always was though and I
heard him call for me to come in.
Shutting the door behind me, I dropped my bag and walked across the room.
He was sat in his char, his feet crossed on top of the desk, with a cup of
coffee in his hand. He smiled when he saw me.
I stopped in front of his desk and waited. After all, he was the one to ask me
to come back.
He put his half full mug on the table and placed his hands on top of his
stomach. "How was the remainder of your day?" He asked, a smile on his face.
"Okay." I smiled back, "How was yours?"
"I mean no offence to my brother but it was rather bland in comparison."
I rested my hands on top of the desk. "In comparison to what?" I obviously
already knew but I wanted him to say it. I wanted to make sure none of this was
a dream.
He smirked in response. "In comparison to exchanging saliva with you, Iero."
I couldn't help but laugh, "It doesn't sound that great when you word it like
that." It was great though. It was more than great.
He took his legs off the table and stood up, slowly unbuttoning his sleeves and
rolling them up to his elbows.
"You need to stop doing that." I said quietly as I watched him.
He stopped, mid sleeve roll, "Doing what?"
I just nodded at what he was doing. I felt a little embarrassed that such a
small movement had such a big impact on me but I had to say.
He raised an eyebrow as he finished rolling them up. "You don't like that, hm?"
He moved around the desk until he was next to me.
I turned so I was facing him. "I didn't say I didn't like it..." I blushed and
looked down. God, I was such a loser.
One of his hands appeared under my chin and lifted it up again. "Don't hide
your face." He whispered, "It's one of my favourite sights."
That made me go even more red. I wasn't sure if I could deal with all of these
compliments. First, he called me beautiful and now my face is one of his
favourite sights? Jesus Christ. I felt like I was in a cheesy romance novel.
He stared at me for a moment before leaning in and kissing me softly. This
obviously excited me because I nervously put my hands on his back straight
away. I still couldn't get over the fact that I was allowed to do this. Maybe
this was a dream.
Part of me thought that this was some elaborate ploy of his and at some point,
he would break away laughing. Surely that wasn't true though.
It didn't happen. Instead, both of his hands appeared on my neck. He moved one
so it was in my hair and he softly began to caress the strands. My hands
tightened on his back. I hoped I was doing well. I'd only ever kissed one other
person. Yes, I know it's sad but whatthefuckever. No one wanted to kiss a loser
who liked to hang out by himself. No surprises there.
For some reason though, this hot motherfucker did so I was obviously doing
something right.
He moved a little closer until we were practically pressed up against one
another. It was then that I suddenly had a moment of fear. I was a seventeen
year old guy making out with someone I was incredibly attracted to. You do the
math.
As soon as his tongue slid across my lips, I involuntarily moaned and opened my
mouth to give him access. This was going into dark territory very quickly.
His hands moved so they were on my hips. It was my turn to play with his hair.
I had to raise my hands a bit higher than he had had to, obviously. Soon, they
were in his hair and I started fiddling with it. I had been wanting to do that
for a while now.
I wasn't sure how long we made out like that for but I did know I was hard. He
must have known too because he was literally pressed against me from knee to
chest. Where was this going? Surely we couldn't do anything more. We were still
in his classroom after all.
I vaguely recognised a phone ringing and a second later, he was pulling away.
"Just a moment, Frank." He moved away completely and went back around the desk.
I felt a little lonely with my hands out of his hair and my mouth not against
his anymore. It sucked, even if it was only for a moment.
He checked his phone before answering. I stayed where I was in silence,
watching him.
"My apologies." He rested against the desk, "I didn't realise what time it was.
I'll be back soon." He hung up and smiled at me sadly.
"What is it?" I asked, trying to ignore my hard on. I hoped it wasn't too
obvious in my jeans. Probably was.
"That was my brother. I forgot, I promised to be back straight after school.
You distracted me, Iero. I was going to say." He smirked and put his phone in
his pocket.
"Oh um... I'm sorry. I-"
"I'm just joking." He laughed and stood up properly again, "You're anything but
a distraction. You're..." He moved closer to me as he thought, "You're my
favourite student."
I couldn't help but stare back at him as he smiled at me. I would have hoped I
was his favourite student after all of this.
"Nonetheless, I have to be leaving. You should as well. I've made you stay
after school a bit too excessively lately. Your mother will have my head." He
unrolled his sleeves and grabbed his jacket.
That comment annoyed me slightly. "I make my own decisions. My mom has nothing
to do with it."
He raised an eyebrow at me. "If you're sure."
I nodded, "I am." He wasn't helping me trying to prove that I could be older.
I watched as he pulled his jacket on and downed the last of his coffee. It was
probably cold by now. He then grabbed his briefcase and stood in front of me
again.
"It is a bit reckless of us to have relations in here anyway." His free hand
stroked one of my cheeks.
I moved into his hand more and smiled. The happiness that was spreading across
my chest showed no signs of leaving as I touched the back of his hand with one
of mine.
"I shall see you in class tomorrow. Your group is doing exceptional." He leant
closer and pressed his lips to mine for one last kiss.
I was greedy and wanted more though. I didn't want to go home.
He pulled away and smirked when I whined in protest.
"I need to talk to you in the free as well." He dropped his hand.
"What about?" I asked.
"No need to worry about that now." He started walking towards the door and
called over his shoulder, "Have a good evening, Frank."
"You too, Sir." I was practically bouncing out of happiness. Now to go home and
finish what we'd started. Jeez, that sounded kinda bad. I didn't care though.
***** His *****
During lesson, it was hard pretending I wasn't making out with my teacher after
school. Willow seemed to sense something was up but I didn't say anything.
After all, how the fuck would people react if you told them you were um... you
know, kinda but kinda not with your teacher.
Mr Way was really good at acting as if nothing was going on. I should have
expected it really because he was a Drama teacher after all. Why would I expect
anything different?
We didn't really talk during the lesson. It was like we were completely
different people. It was almost strange.
During the free, of course, he was completely different. I suppose I was meant
to get used to it.
As soon as I entered the room, he locked the door and pulled me into a kiss. I
could get used to this.
"Have you learnt your lines?" He asked when he pulled away.
"I uh what?" My head was spinning. How was I supposed to think about acting at
a time like this?
He smiled and walked over to his desk. "Your lines, Iero. For the play."
"I know some of them." I followed him. I actually hadn't learnt any of them
yet. Maybe I should start just to keep in his good books.
"You still have a bit of time." He was saying, "However, I would like for them
to be learnt by the end of next week."
"Okay." I mumbled. I didn't really like the fact that he was being all teachery
during our time alone. I knew he was my teacher but come on. That was what
lessons were for.
He rested against the stage with his mug of coffee, watching me. There wasn't
really much to watch though. I was just standing by the desk, putting my bag on
the floor.
"Regarding the subject I brought up yesterday." He took a swig of his coffee.
Oh, yeah. I had been wondering about that. "You never said what it was." I
pointed out before he could continue.
"You are very observant." He smiled, "I like that."
I couldn't help but smile back as I waited for what he was going to say.
"So," He began, "I wanted to speak to you in regards to our current situation."
Were we finally going to talk about everything that was happening? Was he going
to ask me out...? Or, ask me to be his boyfriend? Jeez, it sounded stupid when
I put it like that.
"As you know, I feel a high level of attraction towards you."
That made my smile widen slightly. I would never get tired of hearing that.
"However," His expression dropped a little, "You need to know that this
relationship between us is illegal. No one would understand and if you tell
anyone, I could go to jail."
"I won't tell anyone." I said quickly. No way was I letting that happen.
He placed his mug on the stage and stood up properly, coming towards me. He
stopped in front of me and caressed my cheek like he had last night.
"I don't want to lose you, Frank." His voice was quiet, "You are very important
to me."
I held the back of his hand and squeezed it. "I'm not going anywhere."
"That may not be the case." He sighed, "We could be taken from each other. If
we are, please just carry on with your life."
I frowned, "What are you talking about?" He was being a bit dramatic. I guess
he was just addressing all of the worst scenarios.
Much to my disappointment, he dropped his hand and started to mess with his
hair.
"If someone finds out-"
"No one will find out." I cut him off, determined, "I won't tell anyone."
He smiled a small smile. "Good."
I looked down as I thought about a question that had been stuck in my head. "So
um... What are we?"
He lifted my head up with one of his fingers. "We are whatever you want us to
be."
That didn't help. What did he want us to be? I wanted to know what he thought.
"What do you think?" I asked hesitantly.
"Hmm..." He hummed, moving even closer towards me.
My breath caught in my throat as usual. Would I ever get used to this? Probably
not.
He placed one of his hands into the back of my hair and started to play with it
softly. "I think that you're mine, Iero."
That sentence alone made something inside me squirm. I was his? Holy fuck. The
moment I heard that, I realised that that was all I wanted to be. I wanted to
be his.
"Okay, Sir..." I managed to breathe out. I always felt like I was under his
spell when I was around him. He was so... bewitching.
"Is that alright?" He moved his face next to my neck so I could feel his breath
against it. I could feel goose bumps beginning to form.
"I..." I was finding it hard to form a coherent thought, let alone a sentence
at that moment.
He started to lightly kiss my neck and I couldn't stop a moan from escaping my
lips. Holy fuck. I wasn't going to last long at all, shit.
After a moment, he moaned against my neck. I could feel the vibrations and that
was just way too much. Luckily, he seemed to sense that I was hanging on for
dear life because he pulled away again and smirked at me.
"So..." He licked his lips, "Did you want to come back after school again?
Or..."
"Yes." I said, a little too quickly. It was a little too late to worry about
sounding desperate.
"Excellent." He brushed his lips against mine lightly before pulling away
altogether, "I'll see you then."
***** Beautiful *****
I didn't care that I kept getting home later or that my mom kept asking where I
was. I was in fucking Heaven, alright? I was spending time with the most
amazing man I had ever met. Obviously, I couldn't tell her that. I just told
her I was spending time with my friends. How was she supposed to know that I
didn't really have any?
I didn't waste any time when Music finished. I practically flew to Drama. This
meant that his last class of the day was still filing out so I waited outside
while they did.
I didn't bother to knock this time, and went straight in.
He wasn't in there though.
I frowned and dropped my bag next to his desk. "Sir?" I really needed to learn
his first name or something... It felt a little strange calling him Sir still.
There was no answer. I probably looked stupid calling into an empty room.
Instead, I decided to just grab a chair and sit in front of the desk. He
wouldn't have gone far. After all, he had been the one to ask me back. Unless
he had sneaked out with the rest of the class, he would be back soon.
After a minute, I started to grow anxious. Maybe he had left. Maybe he didn't
want to see me. Or maybe I had misheard him and he hadn't asked me back. Before
I could work myself up too much, I heard, "Iero!"
My head snapped up to see him coming out of the room behind the stage. I had
never been in there and I sometimes wondered what was in there.
A massive grin was spread across his face as he walked towards me and I smiled
in return. Just his smile put me in a good mood. He was such a happiness maker.
If that was a thing.
He stopped next to the desk and waited as I stood up. "How are you?" He asked.
He was definitely the only person I had ever met who almost always asked how I
was every time I saw him. It was nice to have someone care that much about you.
"I'm good. How are you?"
"I am absolutely marvellous. Especially as you are now here."
I obviously blushed at that. He was really good at randomly coming out with
compliments and random things to make my chest tighten like I was staring in
the face of someone who knew how to turn the sun on. He was so mesmerising.
"Why because I'm here?" I asked quietly.
He moved closer until he was standing right in front of me. I was doing better
at staring back at him for long periods of time now. God knows I had done it
enough in the past few days.
"You make my heart sing." Was his answer.
I wasn't surprised by the cheesy line but I still blushed harder. Since when
did someone find me so captivating? Last time I checked, I was the same
uninteresting teenager with no friends. So how the fuck had this even happened?
His hands appeared on either side of my face and he learnt in. I eagerly met
him halfway and when our lips touched, my heart melted. I would never get used
to kissing him.
It was slow at first; he guided my lips with his own in a slow, lazy pattern.
After about two or so minutes, he changed it up so he was brushing his lips
against mine with more force and with more speed. I was only happy to join in.
Before we could get into it properly though, he pulled away and said, "Just a
moment."
I frowned in confusion as he walked towards the doors. I watched as he locked
them and made sure they couldn't be opened before turning back to me and
walking over.
I was going to say something but I didn't get the chance because as soon as he
was in front of me again, he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulled me
against him and pressed his lips against mine again.
I made a noise in surprise before placing my arms around his neck and kissing
him back. The way he had forcefully grabbed me was enough to produce a semi and
I was soon doing everything in my power to force myself from grinding against
him.
He was kissing me deeply and the soft pecks from earlier were now forgotten. It
was like he was a different person. As soon as his tongue was involved, I
attempted to use my own and my God, it was so much better than last time. I
hadn't thought that was possible.
His hands were meanwhile stroking up and down my back slowly until they had
found the bottom of my hoodie and t-shirt. They then continued the movements
but on my bare back and it made me shiver slightly. My hands were just clasped
together behind his neck and I had no intention of moving them.
Before I knew it, one of his hands moved lower until it was grabbing my ass. No
way in Hell had anyone ever done that before and I wasn't sure how to react. I
decided to just go with it and pressed myself closer to him.
I knew I was completely hard by now and I could actually feel his erection
through his suit pants. It was nice to know we were both on the same page.
It didn't take him long to take action. He started pushing against me and soon,
I was pushing back. So, we were basically grinding against each other. I could
think of worse ways to spend Wednesday evenings.
He pulled away but soon dived back in again, this time going for my neck. He
started kissing it like earlier until he was sucking it. I held his head there,
not wanting him to stop. Since when was neck kissing so freaking good? Jesus
Christ.
His hand was still on my ass and I didn't mind to be perfectly honest.
Especially when he occasionally squeezed it.
After a few minutes of him sucking on my neck and me trying not to explode, he
pulled away again and looked at me. His pupils had dilated a shitton and I
couldn't help but stare at him. He was so fucking pretty.
My hand was still in his hair and I fiddled with it a little. I never wanted to
move from this spot again.
"I'm going to suck you off now, Frank." He suddenly told me.
"I- What?" My eyes widened as he went down onto his knees. He wasn't kidding
was he?
It was a good thing I was right in front of the side of the desk; I at least
had something to hold onto.
He was unzipping my jeans and pulling them down along with my boxers. This was
actually happening. This wasn't a drill.
As soon as my dick was out of its confines, he marvelled at it for a moment. I
felt really on display and I squirmed above him, wanting him to stop staring.
He looked up and smiled at me. "You're beautiful." He whispered.
Before I could react to what he had said, his mouth was around my dick and I
moaned loudly. This was the first time anyone had ever actively tried to get me
off and I can tell you, it felt so fucking good.
I was gripping the desk behind me and I knew I wouldn't last long. As soon as
his tongue started moving around in his mouth, I was done for. I came less than
thirty seconds later, right inside his mouth. Holy fucking shit. That was the
hardest I had ever come before.
As soon as I was back on Earth, I felt guilty for not giving him any warning. I
also felt embarrassed for coming so quickly. I was such a teenager, oh my God.
He pulled away and sat back on his heels, looking up at me.
"I'm... I'm sorry, Sir. I-" Something in his expression made me stop.
He smiled. "There is no reason to apologise. That was the outcome we were
looking for."
It took me a second to realise he must have swallowed and holy shit, that was
so hot.
He stood up again and as he did, I shoved my boxers and jeans back up. I felt
exposed like that.
As soon as he was taller than me again, he was kissing me. I kissed him back
happily but I wanted to get him off as well. The thing was though, I had never
done anything like this before. I had no experience whereas he had probably
done this many times before.
Okay, I wasn't calling him a slut or anything by the way. He just seemed like
the type of guy to get around.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I reached out and pressed my hand against
the front of his pants. He gasped in my mouth as soon as I wrapped my fingers
around the outline of his dick.
Liking the reaction I was getting, I began to undo his fly until I had a hand
in his underwear. It was hot in there but I ignored that and found his dick.
When I found the right angle, I started jerking him off backwards. I hoped I
was actually creating a satisfying sensation for him. As I had said, I'd never
done anything like this before.
He seemed to be enjoying it though because he was kissing me more intensely,
with even more tongue. It was kinda messy but neither of us seemed to care.
As soon as he came in my hand, I felt almost proud of what I'd achieved. I'd
managed to successfully get my teacher off. What an accomplishment. To be
honest, it was probably the most I would ever do with my life.
When he was back down from his high, he stared at me as he panted and smiled.
I smiled back. I wasn't sure how to behave in these types of situations. Were
we just going to wish each other a good night and go home?
"Beautiful, Iero." He grinned widely at me, "You are truly beautiful."
***** I'm A Loser *****
So it turned out that Mr Way had given me a fucking hickey. I should have
realised at the time really but I'd been a little distracted. There wasn't any
way I could hide it either. It was right in the middle of the left side of my
neck. And because I wasn't a loser, I didn't own a turtle neck or anything to
cover it up with.
I just had to go into school the next day with the bruise on show. The internet
said it would last a couple of days and if I had any friends, I would get a
shitton of teasing. Good thing I didn't. I'd probably just get dirty looks from
the teachers. It wasn't the first time someone had come into school with one
though. I mean, there was a girl in my grade who was pregnant so surely it
wasn't that bad in comparison.
My mom hadn't noticed but that was probably because I had basically run out of
the door. There was no way I was explaining it to her.
Obviously, I was nervous about returning to Mr Way's classroom the next
morning. It was like returning to the scene of the crime. I was worried I
wouldn't be able to look at either him or the desk without blushing profusely.
He was his usual self during the lesson. I had no idea how he did it. I
couldn't help but smile stupidly every time he looked at me. I needed to work
on being discreet or something.
He always smiled back but not as goofily as I did. I embarrassed myself way too
much.
I was disappointed as usual when the lesson ended. It wasn't just because of
him though. I was actually beginning to like the lessons and rehearsing the
play. I'd still been a bit distracted to learn the lines yet but I planned to
over the weekend.
When it was finally the free, I practically skipped to his classroom. Well, I
didn't but I may as well had. After all, I guy had sucked me off the day
before. What wasn't there to skip about?
He was behind his desk as usual when I entered the room. He had brought in his
laptop today so was typing away at it.
I made my way over to the desk, a grin already engulfing my features. Such a
loser.
"Frank." He beamed when he looked up, "You look as delectable as always."
Did he just basically say that I was edible? That was a new one.
Before I could reply, he continued, "I see I've left my mark on you."
I frowned before I realised that he was referring to the hickey. I blushed. I
hadn't been sure if he was going to mention it or not but of course he did.
"Uh yeah..."
He swivelled in his chair and beckoned with a finger for me to go over to him.
I did as he asked and when I was stood in front of him, he looked me up and
down and smirked.
"I didn't realise it would be quite so dark." He said, smiling up at me.
I laughed a little nervously, "Yeah, me either." I had never gotten one so how
was I supposed to know?
"I noticed as soon as you walked into my classroom this morning." He turned
back to his laptop, "Did you get any comments?"
I moved around the desk to grab a chair. "No. I did get some looks though."
He laughed at that. As soon as I sat down in front of the desk, he started
typing again.
I wasn't too sure what to do. I guess these frees would be like they used to
be. It wasn't like we could do anything during the day. Not anything like last
night anyway.
"How are you after our encounter?" He looked at me over the screen, raising his
eyebrows slightly.
I had to look down, a stupid grin spreading over my face again. "I'm great."
"As am I." He was smiling, "You were perfect."
Me and perfect weren't usually two things that went together. He needed to stop
being so nice to me because I had no idea how to react half of the time. I
wasn't used to all the compliments.
This time, I blushed and tried to hide my smile behind my hoodie sleeve. Such.
A. Loser.
"I told you not to hide your face, Frank." He looked back down at the screen.
"Why not?" I asked just to hear what he would say. I had an idea though.
His fingers didn't stop typing as he said, "You are a highly alluring fucker."
I smirked at his answer, trying to suppress laughter. No way had I expected
that sort of answer.
"What are you smiling at?" He shut his laptop and raised an eyebrow at me.
"Nothing." I mumbled, trying to stop myself from smiling.
He watched me silently for a moment before saying, "I can't stay after school
tonight."
My smile finally went. "Why?"
"It's my night with my daughter."
Oh. Right. I kept forgetting he was a dad. He was an adult. I was forever
hating myself for leaving the womb too late.
"We're still on for Friday after school though." He smiled, "Unless you have
any plans."
"I don't." Since when did I have any plans? My plans usually consisted of
eating a load of shit and then falling asleep in front of the TV. If those
counted as plans.
"Excellent. We will spend the evening together."
Doing what exactly? I didn't ask though. I wanted it to be a surprise.
He stood up and stretched his arms above his head, his shirt riding up
slightly.
I didn't even try to hide the fact that I was staring at the skin on show. I'd
technically never seen the pants covered portion but I'd felt it and let me
tell you, I would happily do that again.
He lowered his arms again and grinned at me. "Do I captivate you, Iero?"
I nodded. It was too fucking true. I was practically in awe at him most of the
time.
He was smiling as usual. I watched as he moved around the desk until he was
looking down at me. He learnt down and pressed his thumb to the side of my neck
where the hickey was. "You captivate me too." He whispered.
Oh, fuck. I was so invested already.
***** A Genuine Relationship *****
Friday afternoon couldn't come quick enough. Not just because it meant the
weekend and no school. But because I would be spending some alone time with Mr
Way.
Sure, that was all I seemed to be doing in my free time at the moment but
because I didn't see him after school on Thursday, I felt a little deprived.
Yes, I know; I was growing very dependent on him for cheering me up. Just the
fact that this was happening put me in a good mood every day. He didn't really
have to do much to enhance that good mood. Just him being himself was all I
wanted.
He was waiting for me when I made it to his classroom.
"Lock the door, Iero." Was the first thing I heard when I shut the door behind
me. I did as he asked and when I turned back around, he was already walking
towards me.
I couldn't help but stare at him as he stopped in front of me and looked me
over. "Let me help you." He said quietly before taking my bag off of me and
dropping it onto the floor. It was a good thing I didn't really have anything
valuable in there because he just seemed to dump it like it wasn't important,
his eyes never leaving my face.
"Sir-" I began but he cut me off.
"Quiet a minute, Iero." His voice was really soft and quiet for some reason,
"Just a minute."
I stayed quiet and waited. He moved closer so he was looking down at me and he
bit his lip as he looked at me. What was going through his head? I wanted to
know.
"What is it, Sir?" I asked when he still hadn't spoken.
He smiled at me before saying, "I was just admiring the view."
Jesus Christ. Where did he get these lines?
"What view?" I mumbled, looking down at the floor. I was still finding it hard
to accept any compliment he sent my way. I just got too embarrassed or
whatever.
His arms suddenly appeared around my waist and I looked up to see him smiling
down at me. "You are one of the most beautiful beings I have ever had the
privilege to lay my eyes on, Frank."
Now how was I supposed to react to that? How could I ever just take anything he
said in my stride? He was such fucking charmer.
"Do you say that to all your romantic conquests?" I smirked, using humour as a
defence mechanism.
My reply made him frown slightly, like he didn't understand what I was asking.
"Not at all." He eventually said, "Is that what you think: that I just throw
these compliments around at anyone I choose?"
My eyes widened a little, "No, not at all!" I hadn't meant it in that way.
Nonetheless, he pulled away completely and crossed his arms. "I understand you
find what I say hard to believe but to me, it's all bona fide." He mumbled,
apparently hurt by my joking.
I didn't know what that last bit meant but I still said, "I'm sorry. It's just
that... No one's ever talked to me like this before. I don't think I deserve
it."
His arms were around me again, in one quick move. "You deserve everything and
more." His mouth was by my ear so I could hear his breathing. It wasn't a
terrible sound either.
I shivered a little at how close he was before moving into his embrace more.
"Okay, Frank?" His voice was barely above a whisper.
"Okay." I breathed, closing my eyes and just focussing on his breathing.
He began to kiss down my neck slowly.
"No more hickeys." I found myself saying.
He chuckled against my skin. "As you wish." He then backed away and pulled me
by the hand across the room.
I stayed silent, waiting to see what he would do next.
He stopped and finally let go of my hand. I watched as he looked at the desk
and then at the stage.
"The desk is a little cliche but the stage is too tall..."
I frowned at him, "What are you talking about?"
He didn't look at me as he said, "I'm deciding what to fuck you on, Iero. Uno
momento."
My eyes widened. He had not just said that.
Sure enough, he seemed to be weighing up the different options and glancing
around the room.
I decided to get my voice heard, "Wait, you're going to fuck me?"
He finally looked at me again, a smile playing on his lips. "Is that a
problem?"
"Well, no, but..." I looked down, getting more embarrassed by the second.
He suddenly crouched in front of me and looked up at my face. "What is the
predicament you face?"
I didn't really want to say. I would just end up embarrassing myself even more.
I looked up again so he stood up, taking my face in his hands. "What's wrong?"
Sighing, I eventually said, "I've never... You know..."
His expression softened and he planted a kiss on my forehead. "I know." He said
when he pulled away again, "I'll be here."
I nodded slowly. I really did want to but I was worried I'd end up
disappointing him or something. I didn't want him to leave me.
"If you'd prefer to wait, we can." Mr Way said seriously, "I'll do whatever you
wish. I don't want to rush you."
I smiled as I thought about it. Maybe waiting was a good idea. I kinda liked
that Mr Way wasn't with me just for the physical things. He legitimately cared
about me.
"You know what?" He dropped his hands and went around the desk.
"What?" I asked, watching him as he put his briefcase on the table.
He opened it and took out a bottle of water and a sandwich. "It isn't much." He
smiled at me, "But why don't we just sit and talk like we used to? I make a
mean cheese sandwich." He held it up.
I grinned at him. I could deal with a small amount of dairy if it was for him.
"Yeah, sounds good."
"Get onto the stage then. I'll just go and see if I can scrounge up any more
supplies from the vending machine down the hallway."
"Okay." I nodded before jumping onto the stage and lying back, sighing
contently. I heard the door open and close again and I knew I was alone.
For a moment then, I actually thought he only wanted me as a form of helping
him get off. I was glad he had suggested we talk instead. It gave me a little
bit of hope that we could actually be a genuine couple one day. Like, a real
one.
The door opened again after a few minutes and his voice filled up the room,
"Are you looking forward to Suicide Squad, Iero?"
I smiled and sat up just in time to see him dump an armful of snacks and drinks
on the stage next to me.
"Maybe we could see it together when it's released." He sat down next to me.
"Yeah, I'd like that." I grinned.
***** The Most Caring Guy *****
"Frank, I need your cellphone number." Mr Way whispered to me as the rest of
the class started leaving.
"What?" I frowned. He usually didn't talk to me about anything other than the
play during lessons.
"Your cellphone number." He repeated, "I'm in a meeting during the free so I
require it now." He shoved a pen and a piece of paper into my hands. "Now."
Before I could say anything, he went over to the door to speak to a couple of
other students.
I quickly scribbled down the digits before placing them on his desk. No one
seemed to notice or care so I followed them out the room.
He raised an eyebrow at me as I passed him. When I nodded, he smiled.
The fact that he wouldn't be in the free only seemed to hit me when it was the
free. That meant an hour by myself in his empty classroom. It was always so
quiet in there without him. I didn't like it.
The rest of the day seemed to drag on forever. In the last five minutes of
Music, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I couldn't look at it though
because my teacher was having a rant about some shit and as a result, the whole
class was silently watching him.
I forgot about my phone until the bell rang for the end of the day and it
vibrated again as I was shoving my stuff into my bag. I stopped what I was
doing and checked it while the rest of my class chatted loudly and began to
leave.
 
Two New Messages From: 1-201-739-6435
Frank,
I would appreciate it if you met me in my classroom at the end of the day.
We're going on a trip.
-G
 
I scrolled down to the next one.
 
Frank,
On second thoughts, wait for fifteen minutes and then meet me in the staff
parking lot.
-G
 
It took me a moment to realise that the messages were probably from Mr Way. G
though? I wonder what that stood for. I seriously needed to learn his first
name.
I didn't bother replying. My Music teacher was giving me odd looks so I grabbed
my bag and left the room. As I was killing time, I headed to the nearest boys
toilets. There were a couple of idiots in there but they left more or less as
soon as I entered.
I stared at my reflection in one of the mirrors as I thought about the
messages. A trip? What trip? Was he taking me somewhere? Anyone else would
probably think this was dodgy but I was still going to see him. It wasn't like
he was a stranger at this point.
Maybe I was being stupid but my feelings for him outranked anything else. I was
carrying on with this affair as long as he would have me.
After I made sure I looked decent enough, I slowly strolled across the campus.
There was barely anyone here now. It was weird seeing school like this. It was
kinda dead.
As soon as it was around fifteen minutes after he had sent me that message, I
walked at a normal pace again until I reached the staff car park. I'd never
really had a purpose to come here before. It was just a car park; it wasn't
that exciting.
I spotted him more or less straight away. About half of the cars had gone and
he was resting against a bonnet of an old one. It was an old Vauxhall Cavalier.
Probably made in 1980 or something. The colour of it was red and it was a
pretty ugly looking car. It looked even uglier next to Mr Way. I only knew the
make of it because my dad used to have the same car, although it had been
white, about ten years ago.
He looked up as I got nearer and put his phone away. "You got my messages.
Marvellous." He beamed. Before I could reply, he suddenly looked behind me and
then opened the passenger door. "I'll explain where we're going on the way."
I felt a little reluctant but I got in anyway and he moved round to get in
himself. It smelt like cigarettes and coffee in the car and I wasn't surprised.
Although, I hadn't thought Mr Way was a smoker. I'd never tasted or smelt it on
him before.
"How come it smells of smoke in here?" I asked as he started the engine.
"I used to smoke." He pulled out of the car park and started down the road,
"Ghastly habit. The stench sticks to everything. I've never been able to remove
it from in here. It doesn't help matters that this car is so decrepit."
I nodded and looked out the window. We passed the end of my street and turned a
corner. "So where are we going then?"
"Oh, yes." He seemed to remember, "The residence in which I live in."
I frowned, "Your house?"
He hummed in agreement, turning another corner.
"How come?" I asked, wanting more information on the situation.
We were in an area I didn't know now. I never really went outside apart from
for school so I hadn't really had the opportunity to explore Jersey. Well, I
had the opportunity; I just didn't have the motivation to get out of bed.
"It came to my attention that neither of us have visited the other's
accommodation." He replied, "The school is the only place we have ever
rendezvoused in. That's not natural for a traditional couple."
"Couple?" I couldn't help but murmur. So we were together?
He smirked at me before looking at the road again. "That is correct, Iero.
Unless you're uncomfortable by that."
"No." I said quickly, "I um... I like that."
"As do I." He agreed, turning into the drive of a small house.
I was a little surprised. I would have thought he lived in an apartment or
something as he was only twenty-three, but he actually lived in a house.
He turned the engine off and got out so I did as well. I waited as he retrieved
his briefcase out of the boot and then locked the car.
The house was kind of nice actually. It looked old but I wouldn't be surprised
if the inside was the complete opposite.
"Come on, Frank." He pulled me out of my daze. I saw he had opened the front
door and was waiting for me.
I scrambled after him, shutting the door behind me.
"I suppose I should say something standard such as: make yourself at home." He
dropped his briefcase onto the sofa.
I followed him into the room and looked around. It was a lot more minimalistic
than I would have originally thought. There was a sofa by the window and a
coffee table and that seemed to be it apart from a bookshelf stuffed with books
and comic books.
"I only moved in a few months ago." He explained, watching me as I looked
around. "It can get rather lonesome at times but I still extol it."
"You live on your own?" I glanced at him.
He nodded, "Unless my daughter or brother come to stay, I am companionless."
I decided to touch upon a subject we'd never properly talked about before. "How
often do you see your daughter?"
His expression remained unchanged as he replied, "Once or twice a week,
depending on what her mother is doing. I cannot parent her during the day but
she stays overnight."
"You said she was three, right?"
"Yes." Was all he said.
Before I could ask any more questions, he went into another room. I followed
him to discover that it was the kitchen. The kitchen had a bit more to it. It
had a breakfast bar and a table and chairs, a counter that ran along the wall,
a fridge and an oven. The breakfast bar was covered in different comics and
coffee granules. I would have thought he liked order in his personal space but
apparently not.
"This is the kitchen." He gestured to it, looking at me again.
Again, he walked out before I could say anything. Was he giving me an
unannounced tour?
This time, we went upstairs. We passed a closed door and he showed me the
bathroom and then his room. His room was even messier. There were clothes and
stacks of DVDs on the floor along with empty coffee mugs on the nightstand.
"Please excuse the disarray and amount of clutter." He stayed by the door while
I looked around the room.
The mess didn't bother me but what did bother me was the atmosphere. It seemed
like such a lonely place to live. I could tell he spent most of his time by
himself when he wasn't at school. Maybe bringing me to see his house was his
way of reaching out for company.
"I like it here." I smiled at him from the middle of the room.
A smile slowly spread across his face as well. "I'm glad."
I only just noticed then that he had taken off his jacket, his sleeves were
rolled up and he had even undone a few of his top buttons. I could see some of
his chest hair poking out and I couldn't help but stare.
"Frank." His voice made me look at his face again. His smile had gone and he
was looking at me in this way... It was like he was looking at something that
he'd never seen before; something new and exciting.
I bit my lip. The tension that settled between us was thick in the air. It was
like this was the buildup to something. The climax.
All I had to do was hold out one hand and he was in front of me at once,
wrapping his arms around me and leaning in. I kissed him back happily, never
getting over the sensation. My hands were in his hair and his arms were around
my waist, pulling me closer.
We kissed passionately for a while, standing in the middle of his bedroom,
until he started walking us towards his bed. I didn't want to break the kiss so
I trusted his instincts.
The next thing I knew, he sat down and I practically fell on top of him. We had
to break the kiss then because I started laughing.
I buried my face into his neck as I laughed and his hand started stroking the
back of my head. "Graceful, Iero."
"That was all you." I managed to gasp out between laughter. When I managed to
subside the giggles, I lifted my head up again and looked down at him.
His pupils had dilated and he was smiling at me, staring at my lips.
"What is it?" My voice was barely above a whisper. I felt a little embarrassed
about falling on top of him but I honestly really liked the fact I was lying on
him. I felt like I couldn't get any closer. I was also nervous. I knew what was
going to happen but I'd never done this before so of course I was a little
worried.
His hand continued to fiddle in my hair as he said, "How did I ever get so
fortunate as to find you?" He lightly stroked his other thumb over my lip.
A massive grin engulfed my features and I hid my face in his neck again. "No,
shut up." I mumbled.
"It's true, Frank. Look at me."
I managed to lift my head again and was met with his lips on mine. I pressed my
forehead against his as I kissed him back. His hands had moved down to my hips
and they found their way under my t-shirt and hoodie.
We stayed like that for a bit, contently kissing with me on top of him. I felt
so happy I thought I could fucking burst or something. How had this even
happened? I still didn't get it.
His finger tips started lightly brushing my hips and it tickled so I squirmed.
What I didn't expect was for him to moan underneath me. Curious, I moved again
to see what would happen. He moaned again and pulled his face away to say,
"Frank, please." Well, he didn't say it; he groaned it.
I could hear his breath as well because his face was so close to mine. We were
also both panting slightly.
His fingers started creating little circles against my skin and I closed my
eyes just to experience that feeling. I felt him move slightly and then I
recognised his lips against my neck. That seemed to be one of his favourite
places to go and hey, who was I to argue?
I ended up arching my back a little so my neck was more exposed but by doing
that, I accidentally managed to grind down on him. He moaned against my neck
and I felt it through my whole body.
I couldn't help but jerk my hips again and we both moaned that time. I could
feel his erection pressed up against mine and it felt so good.
He started sucking on my neck and I didn't care if he gave me another hickey.
It just felt so nice, I didn't want to push him away.
While he did that, my hips started moving on their own accord so we were
basically dry humping. He was pushing up against me as well and that made me
gasp, "Sir!"
He finally moved back from my neck. His voice was slightly hoarse as he
whispered, "Gerard."
"What?" I was panting.
"It's Gerard." He suddenly flipped us over so he was on top instead.
I hadn't expected the sudden movement so at first, I just stared up at him. I
then remembered what he had said. "Gerard?"
He nodded, his hand lightly stroking down my chest through my t-shirt. "My
name."
Before I could say anything, his hand moved down and lightly pressed against my
groin. I whimpered, wanting him to press down harder.
Mr- Gerard was staring down at my face and I felt a little exposed.
"Beautiful." He seemed to whisper before he sat me up enough to take my hoodie
off of me. He took it off slowly and carefully, like he didn't want to break me
before doing the same to my t-shirt. This was the first time I had ever been
topless in front of him. I preferred this a lot more to just getting off in his
classroom.
He sat on my hips comfortably and slowly unbuttoned the remaining buttons of
his shirt. I stared up at him, mesmerised by the sight. If anyone was
beautiful, it was him.
The shirt ended up on the floor somewhere and he leant over me again, kissing
my chest. His left hand found my right one and he laced his fingers through
mine, holding it above my head on the bed.
I never knew sex could be this intimate. The way Gerard was moving and
undressing me, it was so lovingly done and he seemed to care only about me.
"Absolutely stunning." He mumbled against my chest before kissing up my neck
and finally finding my lips again. This time, when his tongue found its way
into my mouth, it didn't thrash about for the purposes of building up both of
our orgasms, it seemed to explore my mouth; getting used to the taste.
After a short while, he pulled away again and looked down at me. "Frank, I-" He
cut himself off, apparently deciding against it and instead, kissed me once and
then let go of my hand and moved down my body.
"Are you sure?" He asked before attempting to undo my jeans.
I answered him by sitting up and kissing him, my hand stroking his cheek.
Not taking his lips from mine, he managed to undo the buttons just by pulling
the fly apart. It was a good thing I bought cheap, crappy jeans.
He helped me wriggle out of my jeans until they were on the floor along with my
shoes and socks that I had kicked off at the same time.
Gerard got off the bed and slowly took his shoes, socks and pants off. I knew
he was doing it like that on purpose: slowly and staring at me the entire time.
Well, it was working.
I just sat there staring at him, ignoring the fact I was wearing my Joker
boxers, and feeling the nerves and excitement building up massively.
He was wearing Batman boxers and I almost felt like yelling snap. I was
distracted though by him opening his nightstand draw and pulling out a condom
and some lube.
I'd never actually used a condom before, obviously. So I hoped I wasn't the one
to put it on. That would just be embarrassing if I couldn't do it.
He dropped the supplies next to me before climbing on top of me again. While
kissing me, he slowly starting brushing his crotch against mine in almost a
lazy fashion.
I didn't know how he had the patience. All I wanted to do was grind on him
until I came. That was the teenage hormone in me though. I knew I wouldn't last
long tonight.
"Are you-" He gasped against my mouth, "-quite sure?"
"Yes." I panted, whimpering when he pressed down harder.
He pulled away altogether and I whined in response, earning a smile from him.
"You've never done this before." His fingers hooked around the top of my
boxers. "It will hurt."
I nodded. I knew it was going to. I just wanted to feel it myself now.
Gerard pulled down my boxers and dropped them on the floor next to the various
other discarded clothing. He then pushed my legs up so they were spread apart
and my knees were bent.
I could feel a flush spread over my face. There was no where to hide anymore.
"I will never get over how beautiful you are." He smiled up at me.
I just bit my lip as I watched him open the bottle of lube and spread some over
his fingers. "This is prep." He told me, "It may hurt a little but it will
mainly be a strange sensation."
"Okay." I said quietly.
He slowly pressed one of his fingers in, his eyes never leaving my face. I
frowned at the feeling, grasping the bed sheet with my right hand.
"Okay, Frank?"
I just nodded, not really sure if I was or not. Who ever thought ass fucking
was a good idea? I wasn't sure it was my thing.
After a minute, he slowly started pushing his finger almost all of the way out
and back in again, over and over. It actually didn't hurt and just felt strange
after that. It felt alien.
"I'm going to add another." He said after another few minutes.
Surely that wouldn't be too bad. I nodded as a sort of symbol for him to carry
on and he did.
The stretching was the part that hurt but after I got used to it, it was fine.
He slowly pushed his fingers back and forth, building up the speed. He kept
asking if I was okay to which I would either nod or just say yeah.
I was actually losing the buzz a little. I had somehow talked myself into
believing that maybe I didn't like sex when he changed the direction of his
fingers slightly and I moaned loudly. Holy mother of fuck!
"What was that?" I gasped, wanting him to do it again.
He grinned at me, "I believe we just found your prostate, Frank." He then
started thrusting his fingers against that spot almost every time and I was
practically writhing underneath him.
Much to my disappointment, he pulled his fingers out after only a short while.
I whined and leant back against my elbows on the bed.
My eyes widened when I saw what he was doing. When had he taken his boxers off?
He was rolling a condom onto his cock and I couldn't help but watch him.
When he had finished, adding some lube over the top, he looked up to see me
staring.
"Okay, Frank?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
I nodded, wanting nothing more than him inside me next. I was more than ready.
He leant over me to press his lips to mine before saying, "Are you ready? Are
you sure?"
"Yes, Gerard, please." I moved some of his hair out of his face, "I want you."
His expression softened and he planted one last kiss on my lips. He then moved
back down and poured more lube onto his fingers. When we were both slicked up
again, he pressed his cock against me.
"Yes." I said before he asked and he slowly pushed into me.
I squeezed my eyes shut and dropped onto my back again. This was a lot more
painful than just his fingers. By the time he was actually all the way in, he
stayed there and leant over me, kissing my neck and whispering how beautiful I
was and how lucky he was.
We stayed like that for a good few minutes until I decided I was okay enough
for him to carry on. He worried too much and asked me if I was sure, to which I
said I was. He then gently pulled most of the way out just to go back in again.
This speed was continued for a little while until I wanted him to go faster.
When I made it known, he nodded and slowly built up the pace.
He was leant over me the whole time which meant I got to stare into his really
fucking pretty eyes. That was the best part of it all.
And then he found my prostate again and I cried out. This made him thrust
faster and soon, he was hitting it every time. I either gasped or moaned each
time and that made him moan. His moans made me feel even more aroused so I
whimpered even more. It was an endless cycle.
I knew I wouldn't last long and I was right. I came only a couple of minutes
later and he thrust faster into me. I shuddered around him and my hips seemed
to jerk up on their own accord. I felt like I was flying.
I realised he had pulled out of me by the time I came back to Earth. He had
pulled the condom off and was jerking himself off quickly, still over me.
Before I could offer any help, he moaned loudly and collapsed onto my chest.
We panted together and he eventually rolled over so he was lay on his back next
to me. His arm wrapped around me and me pulled me close. "Did I ever mention
how beautiful you are?"
I smirked and cuddled his side. "You might have mentioned it once or twice."
***** Sleepover *****
It was dark when I woke up. It took me a second to realise that I was still in
Mr- Gerard's bed. Holy shit, what time was it?
I sat up and rubbed my eyes, trying to remember where I'd left my phone. I was
under the bed covers but I was alone in the dark room. The only source of light
was from a floor lamp next to the bed. Gerard must have turned it on and moved
me under the covers at some point.
Surely, my phone was in my jeans pocket where I'd left it. I looked over the
bed to see our clothes were still scattered about. I couldn't help but grin as
I remembered the events of the previous night.
I almost couldn't believe that it had happened. I had basically lived my
biggest sexual dream. Although, the real life version had been so much better
and intimate. It was better than I ever thought it would be.
I climbed out of the bed and pulled my boxers on and grabbed Gerard's white
shirt. It was a little big for me but I didn't bother doing up the buttons so
that didn't matter.
My phone was where I had expected and I checked the time. It was half one in
the morning. What the fuck?
I peeked through the curtains to see that it was the early hours of the
morning. Holy shit.
I decided to find Gerard to get to the bottom of this. Why hadn't he woken me
up? I needed to get home before my mom killed me. She was probably already
planning my funeral.
On the way downstairs, I stopped off in the bathroom to take a piss and to
check my appearance. My hair was pretty messy but I didn't care. I had more
bruises on my neck to match the one from a few days ago. I needed to invest in
a scarf or something.
When I'd made sure that my phone was safe in one of the breast pockets, I
padded down the stairs and into the kitchen.
Gerard, it was strange calling him that, was sat at the breakfast bar in front
of a stack of paper with a cup of coffee. He appeared to be doing some marking
at past one in the morning. He was just wearing his boxers as well and what
appeared to be a faded Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt.
"Good morning." He beamed when he saw me. His hair was just as messy as mine
and he looked tired.
"It's half one." I stated the obvious, squirming a little. Maybe I should have
gotten a bit more dressed. Although, he'd seen everything now so I didn't need
to hide.
"Indeed." He nodded, taking a sip of his coffee.
I wasn't too sure what to do. Should I call my mom to pick me up? She would
freak though if she found out I was at my teacher's house. Or was Gerard going
to drop me home?
"I took the liberty of messaging your mother on your behalf." He told me,
standing up.
"What?" I quickly grabbed my phone and clicked on the messages.
 
To: Mom
Staying over at a friend's. Sorry it's short notice.
 
He had done pretty well at not using complicated vocabulary or correct grammar.
He had sent that at eight, after my mom had messaged, asking where I was. She
had replied, too:
 
Alright. Don't be late for school in the morning xx
 
"She seemed quite acquiescent." He placed his now empty mug in the sink.
"Easily persuaded."
I put my phone away again. "She's probably happy I have a friend to stay with."
He smiled and dragged me closer to him by pulling the hem of the shirt.
"This looks good on you." He wrapped his arms around my waist, under the shirt.
"It's a bit big." I smiled, placing my hands against his chest.
"I like it." He moved closer and lightly kissed my neck before pulling away.
"My apologies. I abolished your no hickeys rule."
"That's okay." I started fiddling with the top of his t-shirt. "I didn't mind."
I'd probably care tomorrow at school but for now, I didn't. I was still getting
over the high. It seemed to really hit me then: I'd lost my virginity. I'd lost
my virginity to one of the most attractive and caring guys I'd ever met.
"You'll have to accompany me to school tomorrow." He said, "Well, today."
Was he saying what I thought he was saying? "So I'm staying over?" I asked.
"You technically already are." He pointed out, smiling a little.
I preferred that a lot more to going home. It meant that I could spend more
time with him.
"Although." His expression dropped, "It will be sensible to drop you off down
the road from school so it isn't obvious we're arriving together."
I sighed. I hated that we couldn't be a real couple. And I hated even more than
ever that I was still in high school.
"Okay..." I lowered my head.
He kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry, Frank."
I tried not to care, I really did. It was hard though. There would never be a
time when we would be accepted, would there?
I lifted my head back up and decided to change the subject so I didn't lose my
good mood. "How long have I been asleep?"
He hummed in thought for a moment before replying, "About seven or eight hours.
Have you had trouble sleeping lately?"
"I don't think so." I frowned. "Do you have sleeping trouble?"
"Myself?"
"You're the one awake at half one in the morning." I reminded him.
He smirked and pulled away from me. "That is true. Maybe it's indeed time to
sleep." He took one of my hands in his and turned off the kitchen light before
taking me back upstairs.
It was dark in his bedroom still, with only a floor lamp next to his bed on. He
led me to the bed and waited while I climbed onto it again, going under the
covers.
He then switched the lamp off and climbed in next to me, sighing contently as
soon as he lay down.
I waited about two seconds before moving closer to him. His arm wrapped around
me and pulled me closer straight away.
I couldn't stop a massively stupid grin from spreading across my face as I
snuggled up to him. I was glad he couldn't see my face in the light. If this
carried on, there was no way the smile would ever leave my face.
***** A Close Call *****
I tried not to seem annoyed when Gerard dropped me round the corner the next
day. I knew it wasn't his fault. I wasn't annoyed at him. I was annoyed at our
whole situation. No one would accept it. We had to keep it to ourselves.
Gerard was in his usual vivacious mood in lesson. If not even happier. I liked
to think that I had something to do with that because I more or less felt
exactly the same.
Again, I practically skipped back to his classroom for the free. He was at his
desk, on his laptop. I shut the door behind me and smiled as soon as he looked
at me.
"I'm just finishing this piece of work." He said as he smiled back at me, "I'll
be but a moment."
"Okay." I walked over to the desk, dropped my bag round the side of it and
leant against the stage, waiting. I was in the mood for a make out session if I
was being honest. Although, when wasn't I?
The only sound in the room was him typing on the laptop keys. I waited
silently, not wanting to interrupt. While I did, I got my phone out and started
scrolling down Tumblr. There was a lot of sex on my dash this morning. It
seemed to fit with our own theme.
After a few minutes, I heard a cough. I looked up to see him standing in front
of me with his arms crossed.
"Okay, Iero?" He smirked.
I grinned and put my phone in my jeans pocket. "Yeah. Are you, Way?"
He raised one of his eyebrows. "That's Mr Way."
I felt cocky so I replied, "What about Gerard?"
I watched as he bit his lip and slowly moved towards me. "Formalities in the
classroom."
"And yet you call me 'Iero'." I stated, getting down off the stage so I was in
front of him.
One of his hands laced itself into the back of my hair and his other rested on
my hip. "Whatever will I do with you?" His voice was lower and quieter than
before.
I placed my hands against his chest and started fiddling with his tie. He
didn't wear one often but he was wearing one today. It was a plain black one
and it was pretty loose, with the first two top buttons of his shirt undone. I
was very tempted to undo it.
"There are many things I'd let you do to me." I smirked at him. My confidence
around him had grown a lot since we'd first gotten together.
He hummed in response before moving closer and kissing me. I was only happy to
join in, kissing him back deeply.
We soon had our bodies pressed against each other's and our arms were tangled
together.
I had to pull away after a while so I could breathe properly again. Gerard took
this time to kiss down my neck and help me shrug out of my hoodie.
I really couldn't find the strength to stop him when he kissed my neck. It just
felt too good.
He only pulled away to pull my t-shirt over my head.
As soon as my t-shirt was off and I was about to drop it onto the floor,
something happened.
There was a knock on the classroom door and someone called, "Mr Way?"
My eyes widened and we suddenly heard the door beginning to open.
"Shit!" Gerard whispered and turned to see who was coming in.
My first thought was to run round the side of the stage and jump down onto the
floor. I managed to do some sort of roll so it didn't make a huge thump. I then
stayed as still as possible as I listened to what was happening. I think I'd
managed to hide just in time.
"Oh, I wasn't sure if you'd be in here." It was a woman. It sounded like
another teacher. The voice was too mature to be a student.
"Ah yes," Gerard cleared his throat. I could almost see him fixing his hair. "I
spend the majority of my free lessons in the comfort of my own company. What
can I assist you with?"
I realised I still had my t-shirt in my hand but I didn't dare to move. I knew
I couldn't be seen unless they came round the side of the stage but that was
unlikely because it was behind his desk.
"I was just wondering if you were planning on going to the Homecoming Dance
next week? I'll be working the drinks table."
I'd forgotten about Homecoming. I never went to shit like that anyway.
But what was this woman implying? Was she asking out my guy? Okay, now was not
the time to get jealous.
"I was not planning on partaking in such an event. Is it mandatory for
teachers?" Of course Mr Way was oblivious to this woman's flirting. At least,
it sounded like flirting to me.
"Oh um no. It is for members of the committee like me. Some others like to come
though so I was wondering if you were."
It was quiet for a second while Gerard thought about it. "I shall have to see
if my diary is free on that particular day. I'll get back to you."
"Oh okay." I could hear a smile in her voice, "I'll see you at lunch in a bit?"
"Yes, of course." Gerard replied.
She was supposed to leave then but instead, she said, "There's a jacket on the
floor by the stage."
My breath caught in my throat. Fuck.
"Ah, so there is." Gerard didn't sound nervous or anything. He sounded the
complete opposite of how I felt. "A student of mine must have misplaced it."
"I get that a lot." The female teacher said, "I'm always taking a load of stuff
to lost and found. Anyway, see you later."
"Until then."
A moment later, the door shut. I still didn't move though just in case. I still
felt frozen. What would have happened if she hadn't have knocked?
"You can come out now, Frank."
I slowly stood up to see him staring at the door with his back towards me. I
didn't dare to speak. I had no words. What was I supposed to say?
"That was too close." Gerard said quietly.
***** Break Up? *****
I slowly put my t-shirt back on but stayed where I stood behind the stage. Mr
Way was still staring at the door. I wanted to know what was going through his
head. I was praying he wasn't going to call our arrangement off.
"Sir...?" I called uncertainly. He still didn't speak so I walked round the
stage and picked up my fucking hoodie. What if she had arrived later or hadn't
bought Mr Way's excuse?
When I had pulled my hoodie back on, I walked round to stand in front of him.
He had his eyes closed and was obviously thinking deeply about what had just
happened.
"Are you okay?" I asked. At this moment, I just wanted him to talk to me. The
silence was creeping me out a little.
He finally opened his eyes and looked at me. "I think..." He trailed off,
choosing his words carefully. "Never mind."
I watched as he went over to his desk and sat down, staring at nothing.
I followed him and stood in front of the desk so he had to look at me. "What is
it?" I wanted to know who had interrupted us but now really wasn't the time.
He was in a strange mood. I'd never really seen him like this before.
"You should probably go to lunch early." He said quietly, opening his laptop.
I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to leave him on his own to think
things over. What if he came to a conclusion that was my worst fear? I wasn't
going to let him decide our future without me. After all, I was half of this
couple.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I felt a bit awkward now that he had told me to
leave. I didn't like disobeying him but desperate times called for desperate
measures.
He looked up at me and I could tell he was deliberating it. "No." He eventually
said, "Not at this moment."
I frowned even though I had been expecting an answer to that affect. "When
then? I think we should talk about it." Leaving things hanging was never a good
idea.
He bit his lip as he thought before saying, "Come back after school. Only for
ten or so minutes though. I've deprived you of your home life for far too long
lately."
He didn't understand that I would rather spend time with him then go home. I
wasn't about to argue about it now though. Especially after what had just
happened.
"Okay." I picked up my bag from round the side of the desk, "I'll see you later
then."
He hummed in reply, looking down at the laptop screen. That was apparently all
I was going to get so I left.
I spent the rest of the day thinking about our brush with almost getting
caught. I tried not to think about what would have happened if we had been. I
just knew that it wouldn't have resulted in good terms.
Another thing I was trying not to think about was what our talk was going to be
like after school. He had said that it would only be for ten minutes. If he was
going to break up with me, it was going to be like ripping off a band aid. I
really hoped that wasn't going to happen.
I knocked before entering his room after school. I had waited for his last
class to leave before even heading for his classroom.
He was packing his laptop away when I opened the door and shut it behind me.
It was silent as I walked over to his desk. He hadn't even acknowledged me yet.
That wasn't a good sign.
I waited in front of his desk for him to speak first. If this was the end, I
wanted him to approach it first himself.
"I apologise." Was the first thing he said as he finally looked at me.
"What for?" I frowned.
"For being so reckless." He packed his laptop into its sleeve and into his
briefcase, "I realise now that I forgot to lock the door. That won't be an
issue again."
"Again?" Did he mean that we were still together? I was certain he was going to
break up with me. I had mentally prepared myself.
He frowned at me. "Yes."
"So you're not breaking up with me?" My voice was quiet. I felt a little
embarrassed.
"Whatever brought you to the conclusion that I would do that?" He moved round
the desk to stand in front of me.
I just shrugged and lowered my head. I felt really relieved but also a bit
stupid for jumping to the worst possible outcome.
"Frank, that is out of the question." He lifted my head up again with his
finger, "It was just a misunderstanding between myself and the door. Don't
worry, I've had words with it."
I chuckled under my breath which caused him to smile. Thank God everything was
fine between us. The way he had been acting earlier had scared me. He lightly
kissed me on the lips before going back around the desk to put his jacket on.
Since everything was fine now, I decided to ask a question that had been
bugging me. "So um... Who was it that who um...?"
"Rudely interrupted us?" He finished for me.
I nodded.
"That was Miss Clark, a Math TA to Mr Birch. She's only young like myself. I
met her when I started here and she's grown quite fond of me."
"I could tell." I agreed, feeling a little jealous.
"I personally have no interest in her or Math whatsoever. I humour her,
however, as it is the gentlemanly thing to do."
"I kinda figured you weren't interested." I felt like laughing in this woman's
face or something. Since when was I so possessive?
He hummed in reply, picking up his briefcase. "Since my ex, I'm not very
enchanted with women. As you may have noticed."
I smirked at him. "Yeah, I've noticed."
He smiled back at me. "I should hope so. Especially as my dick was in your ass
last night."
***** Parent's Evening *****
"As you are all aware, it is parent's evening tomorrow. I have a sheet here
with times on. If you'd all like to put your names next to a time, I would be
most grateful. Preferably nothing after seven."
The class got up and crowded around the sheet that was on his desk. I decided
to wait until everyone was done. Mr Way probably wouldn't hate on me if I was
after seven. After all, I'd like to think I was one of his favourites.
Parent's evening though. I hated parent's evening. It was such a waste of time.
It was basically just a chance for teachers to tell my mom how shit I am at
every subject.
By the time I finally got to the times sheet, the bell rang and everyone
started leaving.
Sir was sat at his desk and he looked up from some marking he was doing when I
was in front of his desk. "And what time will I be seeing you tomorrow evening,
Iero?"
I looked down to see what times were left. "Looks like it'll be ten past
seven." I smirked.
He tutted. "Cutting it a bit close."
I shrugged and wrote my name next to the time. Maybe I could count on him to
actually give me a positive report.
When parent's evening finally came about, my other teachers lived up to my
expectations and moaned about my lack of involvement and failure to do most of
my homework. It was the same every time. Yada yada yada.
Mr Way was my last teacher to see so me and my mom went to his room at ten past
seven. I would have preferred for him to not meet my mom. It was just another
reminder of how much younger I was.
A girl from my class and her parents were leaving his room by the time we got
there.
"Who's this then?" My mom asked.
"Drama." I mumbled before knocking on the door. When I heard him call for us to
come in, I opened the door and led my mom in.
Mr Way was sat behind his desk and stood up when we walked over. "Good
evening." He held a hand out over the desk, "I'm Mr Way. I took over the Drama
department at the beginning of this semester. It's nice to meet you."
"Linda Iero." My mom smiled and shook his hand.
"Please, take a seat." Mr Way gestured for us to sit down on the seats in front
of the desk.
We both sat down and he did again too. "So..." He started looking down at a
piece of paper, searching for my name. "Frank, Frank, Frank..."
I felt super awkward even though nothing was happening. I couldn't imagine how
my mom would react if she found out about us.
Mr Way looked up and smiled. "What can I say about Frank? He's one of my
favourite students."
"Really?" My mom seemed slightly surprised. I couldn't blame her really.
Especially after hearing teachers slag me off all evening.
"Absolutely." He nodded, his smile never leaving, "He has been an asset to his
group in terms of characterisation and physicality. Additionally, he is the
only student of mine who has come after class for extra tuition. As a result,
his acting and perception of his character has improved greatly."
My mom raised her eyebrows at me. "Why didn't you tell me you were actually
good at a subject?"
"Thanks, Mom." I rolled my eyes.
She patted my shoulder. "I didn't mean it like that."
Mr Way laughed lightly. "He is more than good, Mrs Iero. He has great
potential."
My mom was grinning, apparently elated by this fact.
I felt a little embarrassed. I hadn't expected him to talk me up quite so much.
I didn't know how to react.
"That's great to hear." My mom said to him, "He's not doing too well in any
other class."
"Mom." I sighed, sinking down in my seat. I didn't want the guy I was
romantically involved with to hear this.
"That's a shame, Frank." Gerard smiled at me, "It's a good thing you're doing
so well in my class."
"Uh yeah..." Hopefully I didn't blush too obviously.
He turned back to my mom. "There isn't much else I can say. He is a highly
capital student and I look forward to continue working with him."
My mom beamed at him. "I'm glad you like him so much. He has more potential
then he realises so I'm happy he's finally showing it."
I was glad he liked me so much too.
"As am I." Mr Way agreed, standing up to shake her hand again.
My mom shook it and then Gerard turned to me.
"I shall see you in class, Frank." He apparently wanted to shake my hand as
well.
"Yeah." I shook it, feeling like I was taking part in some charade or
something.
He smiled and let go of my hand. "Looking forward to some exceptional work."
I nodded, still feeling embarrassed and led my mom back out of the room.
"Have a nice evening." Mr Way called after us.
My mom and I walked to the car in silence before she asked, "How old is he? He
seems too young to work in a high school."
"Um I don't know." I lied. "I think this might be his first job."
"Makes sense." My mom unlocked the car, "Anyway, I'm proud of you. You do have
talent. I told you so."
"Yeah, thanks." I mumbled before getting into the car.
***** Bandit *****
After the initial embarrassment and disappointments of parent's evening wore
off, I went back to not caring what my teachers thought of me. Well, apart from
one of course.
My mom spent about two days gushing about what Mr Way had said and apparently,
that was enough to make her forget about all the other appointments. My step-
dad, Richard, was actually impressed by it all. Granted, he didn't know about
how bad I was doing in my other classes but whatever.
My mom even went as far as to call my dad and tell him. He didn't sound as
excited but he did say he'd buy me a new guitar strap because of it. I was
actually shocked.
Mr Way had literally changed the atmosphere in my personal life and at home.
What the fuck.
I should have been hurt really that my parents were that surprised that I was
good at a subject. My music teacher always said I was a good guitarist but then
would end on the fact that I always messed around in class. It was always the
thing that stuck in my mom's head because it was the last thing she heard. Just
a little unfair.
However, Mr Way had given a full positive report and a short one too. My mom
hated sitting with a teacher for more than a few minutes. Mr Way was a pro and
I hadn't had to prep him at all.
I wanted to tell him he'd done well but I didn't really want to mention my
parents around him. It always made me feel insecure because I was seventeen and
he was twenty-three. I was still a fucking child and I didn't want to remind
him of that fact. Maybe I should mention something though about the praise he
gave me.
I was set to do just that but the thought went completely out of my head as
soon as I walked into his classroom the next morning.
A lot of the girls were "aww"ing about something. I frowned at the guys who
were sat down, not really caring about what was happening. But what was
happening?
Before I could ask someone, a small human ran around the cooing girls and over
to the desk where Mr Way was writing something down. It took me a second to
realise that it must be his daughter. Well, shit.
Mr Way smiled down at her before picking her up and placing her on his lap.
"Could everyone get on with rehearsals as soon as the rest of your group
arrives, please?" He called out, continuing to write.
The class began to divide themselves into the two groups but most of them were
too interested in the little girl with messy pigtails sat on her father's lap.
I didn't know why but I felt really awkward. I didn't need another reminder
that he was way too old for me. He had created life three years ago and I had
only just started high school. How bad was that?
I sat down with my group and half listened to what they were saying about the
three year old. It was just the usual "she's so cute" sort of thing.
I suddenly remembered the free. Would it be best if I didn't come back? Would
his daughter be here all day? Man, this sucked.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't have anything against his daughter. This whole
situation just felt wrong.
Mr Way more or less left us to it for the whole lesson. The only time he walked
around was when the little girl would run around the room and he would casually
follow her. He seemed like a pretty laid back dad. At least, here he did. That
didn't really surprise me. He never seemed to be stressed or anything. Or maybe
he was just good at hiding it.
Ten minutes to the end of the lesson, when we were in the middle of a scene.
The child came over to us and stared as we acted. I kinda didn't want to
continue. My next line was, "Fuck you, Mr West." I wasn't that comfortable
saying it in front of a three year old.
In the end I just said, "Screw you, Mr West," while Mr Way and his daughter
watched. I didn't know why but it was a little nerve wracking.
"Get out of my house, Adam!" Matt yelled, pointing behind me.
That was my exit line. I glared at him before storming off and standing next to
the girl who was playing my girlfriend in the play. I was actually really
getting into this play and I now knew all of my lines.
The bell went soon after that and the class made its way out.
Mr Way smiled at me before calling out that everyone had done well today. I
smiled a little back and left.
I decided to go back in the free because I was a clingy motherfucker and plus,
I hadn't spoken to him properly yet. I needed my daily dose of Gerard.
When I opened the door and shut it behind me, I saw his daughter sat in the
middle of the room, playing with some teddies, while Mr Way sat at his desk, on
his phone.
Trying not to disturb him, I decided to sit down next to the little girl. She
looked up as I crossed my legs and smiled at me. "Play with me." She held out a
small bear.
"Okay." I took it from her and joined in her game.
I wasn't used to this. Being an only child, I had never really been around
babies and toddlers since I was one.
After a few minutes of playing invisible teddy café, Mr Way suddenly sat down
next to me. "What are we playing?" He asked.
"Teddy café, Daddy!" The little girl beamed.
He smiled back at her before looking at me. "Nice of Frank to play with you."
She nodded like a mini bobble head before going back to her game.
Mr Way stroked the back of my hand on the carpet. "Her mother dropped her off
this morning with no warning." He explained, "Slightly inconvenient but I could
never say no to my little Bandit."
"Bandit?" I frowned at the name. Somehow, it didn't seem articulate enough for
him.
He nodded and smiled at her. "I was going to ask if you would like to stay over
tonight as it is Friday but I suppose that can't possibly happen now. If you'd
like, you can stay over tomorrow?"
Hell yes.
"Yeah, I'd like that." I made sure I sounded more casual than I did in my head.
He nodded, "Marvellous."
***** Homecoming *****
"Enjoy Homecoming tonight." Mr Way smiled as everyone packed up, "I shall be
paying a visit myself so be sure to exchange greetings."
I originally had no intention of going to Homecoming but since Mr Way was going
and he had asked me to "keep him company", I wasn't about to pass up that
offer. I would just have to grin and bear it. All for the sakes of spending
time with my.... with Gerard.
It wasn't until fifteen minutes before Homecoming that I realised I had no idea
what I was going to wear. Did I even have anything to wear?
In the end, I chose to wear my black skinny jeans with a plain back t-shirt and
a black jacket. I looked emo as fuck but I didn't give a shit. It was the most
formal I was willing to go.
My step-dad dropped me off in front of the school and I went in, already kind
of regretting it. As an active social recluse, I usually avoided events like
these. This was the first school dance I'd ever gone to.
A lot of the students made a big deal out of the dance and arrived in fancy ass
cars and limos, wearing basically ball gowns and tuxedos. I felt a little sorry
for myself. I didn't really have any close friends to do that sort of thing
with. Not that I wanted to but you get what I mean.
The school hall was decorated with lights and streamers. It wasn't the most
exciting party. I was really hoping the punch would be spiked at some point. I
felt like I needed some alcohol.
Most of the students were sat at tables dotted around while others attempted to
dance in the middle of the room. No way was I going to do that. Instead, I
headed for one of the food and drink tables.
I heard someone mention the name, "Miss Clark," and I was suddenly intrigued.
That was the woman who had almost caught me and Gerard in the act. She had said
she was working the drinks table, right?
I decided to get a look of her while I picked up a plastic cup of lemonade.
She was pretty and young and the sort of girl you could see going out with
someone as attractive as Gerard. I instantly hated her.
I knew I had no reason to be jealous but I couldn't help it. I felt like
shoving the fact that I was with Gerard in her face but obviously I couldn't do
that. Man, this sucked.
I took my drink to an empty table at the back and sat on my own. How long did
this fucking dance last?
It was then that I noticed Mr Way. He was talking to some students across the
room and fucking hell, he looked so good. I couldn't help but stare at him.
I should have known he would make a massive effort. I mean, he was always
dressed smart for class.
From what I could see, Gerard was literally wearing a suit with a waistcoat and
tie. His hair was its usual black, messy self. He looked so fucking hot.
I downed the remains of my lemonade, hoping the sugar would hit me fast, and
slowly made my way over to him. He had finished talking and was just standing
against the wall, watching everyone.
He noticed me when I was a few feet away and a smile made its way onto his
face. I stood next to him and rested against the wall as well.
"You look rather dapper, Iero."
"Thanks. You look pretty good too." I sideways glanced at him.
He grinned down at me, "Nothing can compare to your beauty, Frank."
I smiled down at my feet. I was still trying to get used to these compliments.
Especially as Gerard was the attractive one.
"Would you perhaps like to go somewhere a bit more private?" He suddenly asked,
"Somewhere we can talk properly?"
"Yeah, okay." Just the mere thought of being alone with him excited me which
was stupid. We were alone together more often than not. Maybe I felt excited
because we were in plain view of everyone. It was wrong but... I kind of liked
that it was forbidden. That might just be my dick talking though.
"Meet me in the Math corridor in five minutes."
Before I could give any form of reply, he strode off towards the huddle of
English teachers by the doors.
I watched him talk to them and make them laugh for a moment before heading for
the toilets to make sure I actually looked alright.
Surprisingly, there wasn't actually anyone in the boys toilets when I got
there. I spent a couple of minutes just fiddling with my hair, not really sure
what I was trying to do. It was at an awkward shaggy stage and no matter how
much I tried to style it, it just looked messy. I needed a haircut.
When I had finished doing whatever the fuck I had been attempting to do with my
hair, I left the toilets and slowly made my way to the Math corridor. It wasn't
that far from the hall so I made sure no one saw me. We weren't technically
allowed into the rest of the school during dances.
The corridor was empty when I got there and I had a brief moment of panic about
what I was supposed to do. Luckily, Gerard appeared more or less thirty seconds
after I had got there and beamed when he saw me.
He stopped in front of me and for a second his smile wavered, "Did anyone see
you?"
I shook my head, "No."
His expression changed to a softer one and he stared at me like this was the
first time he was seeing me. "You do look enchanting this evening." He took my
hands in his and squeezed them lightly.
To my embarrassment, I smiled and my cheeks tinted pink. I never thought anyone
would call me "enchanting".
He started to lean in and then stopped himself, turning to look behind us.
"Maybe we shouldn't be quite so exposed." He mumbled.
Before I could realise what he was doing, he led me into what seemed to be the
janitor's closet and shut the door. The room was suddenly engulfed by darkness
until I found the light switch.
It was actually bigger than I thought it would be in there. Mr Way started
moving brooms and mop buckets closer to the wall to make a bit more room. When
he was done, he turned to me again and instantly, a smile graced his lips.
I matched his smile as he placed a hand against my cheek and said, "I do wish
there is a more manageable way."
I nodded, "I know. Me too."
"Never mind." He ended the conversation by pressing his lips to mine softly.
I kissed him back happily, my hands somehow making their way onto his hips. I
guess I could cross making out in a janitor's closest off of my bucket list.
Not that I'd really thought about it before.
Gerard moved his hand to meet his other one around my neck and pulled me closer
so our torsos were touching. After a minute or so, his tongue brushed against
my bottom lip. I opened my mouth to give him access.
I knew I was already hard. It didn't take me long. I should be embarrassed by
that but to be perfectly honest, I didn't really give a shit anymore. Besides,
from what I could tell, Gerard was as well.
I felt brave so I moved my hands round to cup his ass. He hummed against my
mouth in response and pressed against me more. That was enough to make me moan.
I was past feeling embarrassed about this sort of thing now.
Gerard had seen me naked twice now and my confidence during sex was growing. I
still didn't last very long but he didn't seem to mind. I was lucky he wasn't a
selfish asshole in bed.
One of Gerard's hands moved down my body until he found my crotch. I tried to
move into his hand more but he teasingly took it away.
I whined into his mouth which caused him to chuckle lightly. He pulled away to
say, "So impatient."
"You can't blame me." I replied, chasing his mouth for more kisses.
"How so?" He smirked at me.
Before I could think about it too much, I said, "You look really fucking hot in
that suit."
His response to that was almost a growl before his lips were on my neck. I made
a noise in surprise and squeezed his ass. I still couldn't get over how fucking
lucky I was.
He started to suck lightly and I closed my eyes to enjoy the sensation. I
didn't notice what his hands were doing until they were suddenly in my
underwear and around my dick.
I moaned loudly and moved my hips into his grip even more. He moved one hand
around to rest on my lower back as his other started to slowly jerk me off.
I was practically panting against him, my hands feeling the wall behind me.
With his hand on my dick and his mouth on my neck, it didn't take me long to
come. I dropped my head against his shoulder and just breathed along with him.
When I was down from my high, he took his hand back out and moved away from my
neck. I lifted my head back up and just stared into his eyes for a moment,
really trying to memorise them. They were so pretty.
"Your turn." I began to unbutton his suit pants. He watched me as I did this,
biting his lip. When I had them unbuttoned, I changed my mind and looked at him
again. "Can I... I want to suck you off."
I'd never done it before but I really wanted to please him. And plus I owed him
a blowjob.
Gerard nodded without a word and moved us so we had swapped places; him against
the wall and me in front of him.
I tried to not shake as I went down onto my knees and pulled his pants and
underwear down. He was wearing Marvel underwear and it made me smile. He was
such a nerd.
For a second, I just stared at his lower half. I'd never really gotten a good
look at his dick before. I was relishing in the moment.
"Frank." He sighed above me, "Please..."
Was he practically pleading? Holy fuck.
I didn't waste any more time and grabbed his dick. That was my first taste.
It was saltier than I had expected but it was alright. I started to suck him
off, my hand jerking the bit I couldn't get to and moving in time with my
mouth. By the time I was speeding up, he was gasping above me. I suddenly felt
powerful or something. It was a nice feeling.
His hand laced itself into my hair to guide me and after a minute or so, he
moaned, "Frank.. I-I..."
I tried to stay on as he came in my mouth but I ended up choking a little and
had to pull off. Come didn't taste nice, fucking hell.
I swallowed what I could but I had to spit some out. On the floor. In the
janitor's closest.
That made me think of something and I started randomly giggling while he
regulated his breathing above me. "What's so humorous?"
I looked up at him and smirked, "We're in a closet."
He raised an eyebrow as he started to pull his pants back up. "Yes?"
"It's ironic." I sat back on my heels, "I just sucked off a guy in a closet."
I watched as the realisation spread over his face and he chuckled, buttoning
his pants back up. "Very funny, Frank."
"I'm hilarious." I stood up again and buttoned my jeans, trying to ignore the
sticky mess in my underwear.
I looked back at him to see him smiling at me.
"What is it?" I asked, not being able to stop smiling myself.
He shook his head before moving towards me and kissing me lightly. When he
pulled away, he whispered, "You are truly mesmerising."
I grinned like an idiot and wrapped my arms around his waist. He hugged me back
and rested his head against my shoulder.
We stood like that for a while. I'm not sure how long but it was at least five
minutes. Wordless. In his arms.
He eventually pulled away to whisper, "Time to return to our charade."
I couldn't help but sigh as I nodded in reply. This sucked so much.
"Wait for a minute or so before leaving." He backed up a bit until he was
against the door, "I shall message you later in regards to you safely getting
home."
"Okay. I'll um see you tomorrow, I guess." I shoved my hands in my pockets,
feeling awkward and uneasy.
He nodded and paused before leaving the closet.
I felt like either falling to the floor in tears or punching the wall. I hated
that we had to do this. Forget the thrill of it being forbidden. I wanted a
real relationship with him.
***** Who's Luckier? *****
One New Message From: Gerard <3
Frank,
I highly request your company this evening in the teacher's parking lot. From
there, we will adjourn to my humble abode for a night of festivities. I await
eagerly for your response.
-Gxoxo
 
I couldn't help but grin down at the message. He didn't know how to be
informal, did he?
When I first messaged him back, I had actually tried to sound smart in return
but over time, I'd kinda given up on that. I knew he was my teacher but I
didn't need to reply with a fucking essay.
 
To: Gerard <3
see you after school :) xx
 
The contrast between our messages always made me laugh. He was so smart,
fucking hell.
My last lesson seemed to drag on. Probably because I was excited about going
over to Gerard's house. By the time Music was finally over, all I wanted to do
was rush over to the car park and meet him. However, I obviously couldn't do
that.
Instead, I packed my stuff up slowly and then headed for the boys toilets. This
was turning into a routine now.
After I'd forced myself to stay in there doing fuck all for at least five
minutes, I walked as slowly as possible to the car park. There were still some
students dotted about so I took a detour through the building closest to the
car park. By detour, I meant the longer way.
We had an understanding now that instead of waiting for me by his car, Mr Way
would wait inside it instead. It didn't look as obvious that way.
He was doing just that when I finally got to his car and I climbed into the
passenger side, shutting the door.
"No one saw me." I said instantly. That was always the first question he asked
me.
He nodded before starting the engine. "I trust you enjoyed your day?"
"Seeing you was the highlight. It usually is." I stared out of the window as he
pulled out of the car park and started down the road.
When he didn't reply, I looked at him again. He was smiling a little as he
drove and I liked to think that I was the cause of that smile.
The rest of the drive was more or less silent which wasn't like him at all.
Something was up, I could tell.
"Are you okay?" I asked as he parked in his drive.
He turned off the engine and sat back in his seat, sighing. After a moment of
silence, he finally said, "To be abundantly honest, I am not."
"What's up?" I turned in my seat so I was facing him more.
He stayed quiet but eventually looked at me, biting his lip in thought. "Just
troublesome ex's, that's all."
"What's happened?" I tried not to feel jealous. There was literally no reason
to be at all. What was wrong with me?
"Lyndsey won't let me see my own daughter." He sighed again.
"Why?" I frowned.
His response was to say, "Immature," and to get out of the car.
I quickly followed suit because he was apparently going straight for the house.
Man, he really was in a bad mood. It was my job to cheer him up.
When I shut the front door behind me, I was determined to lift his mood in some
way. However, it looked like he was going to avoid this conversation by going
into the kitchen.
"Sir?" I stopped him before he could leave the room. He paused, his back to me.
"Yes, Iero?"
It looked like he wouldn't be turning around anytime soon. I dropped my bag by
the door and went over to him, moving round until I was in front of him.
"Is there any reason why she won't let you?"
He shrugged, "She's convinced I'm not serious enough about caring for Bandit.
That is downright bullshit."
I frowned after hearing that. "But why? I don't get it."
"Now you apprehend how I feel."
This didn't really make sense. Mr Way cared about his daughter a hell of a lot.
You had to be an idiot not to see that.
"I'm sorry, Sir. I um I hope she comes around." I wasn't sure what else to say.
I was too inexperienced to know what it was like to have a kid and an
irritating ex.
"I hope so too, Frank." He looked down and took a deep breath before looking
back up and smiling at me. "My apologies. You don't want to listen to my
griping."
"It's okay." I started fiddling with part of his shirt that had come untucked
out of the top of his pants.
He watched my hands for a moment before saying, "I am unbelievably fortuitous
to have you. You mean a lot to me."
I couldn't help but beam at him. "I um... You're not fortunate or... However
you say that word. I'm the lucky one."
He shook his head so I nodded mine in retaliation. "I seriously am. You can
just shut up because I am."
He laughed lightly. "If you insist."
"Yeah, I do." I agreed.
His arms appeared around my waist and he moved closer to me, ghosting his lips
over my jawline. "However, do know that I am the most fortunate. I've wanted
you since I first laid eyes on you."
"Wait, seriously?" I pulled away a little and widened my eyes slightly.
He nodded, "You have always been my favourite student, Frank. You're special."
I grinned before pulling his mouth down to meet mine.
He never failed to make me feel like I was walking on air. Why did he think
that he was the lucky one? He had no idea how happy I was.
***** Ah, Fuck *****
I woke up in Gerard's bed and it took me a second to realise I was lay on his
chest. This was the first time I had woken up with him next to me. Usually, he
was downstairs marking or typing up some work on his laptop.
I looked up to see him watching me, a lazy look on his face.
"We must stop fucking at three o'clock. We keep falling asleep and as a result,
wake up at ridiculous hours."
"What time is it?" I rubbed one of my eyes with the hand I wasn't lay on.
"I would estimate somewhere between eleven and twelve."
I rested my head against his chest again. "That's not too bad. We're getting
better."
He hummed in reply, one of his hands making its way into my hair and fiddling
with it.
We lay in silence for a few minutes, just breathing together. I felt so
relaxed, lay on his chest with an arm across him. Could I just lie here
forever?
Apparently not.
"I need to pee." I sighed.
He chuckled and I felt it through his chest. "Go then."
"But I'm comfy." I whined.
He laughed again, apparently finding this funny. "I'll still be here when you
come back."
I eventually gave in and groaned, "Fine," before getting up and pulling on my
pink boxers. "I'll get some water as well. You want some?" I looked back at
him.
He had stretched his arms up and behind his head, the sheet covering him from
the waist down. He looked so hot; I couldn't help but stare.
"That would be pleasant, thank you."
I smiled before leaving the room and going into the bathroom. My hair was even
messier than usual which was to be expected. I didn't even bother to try and
salvage it. It was beyond repair.
After taking a piss, I padded down the stairs to head into the kitchen.
However, I didn't get that far.
I froze at the bottom of the stairs and just stared at the figure in the living
room.
The guy who was sat on the sofa looked up and frowned at me. "Who the fuck are
you?"
My only form of retaliation was to apparently repeat what he had asked, "Who
the fuck are you?"
The guy stood up. "Where's Gerard?"
"He's upstairs." I stayed glued to the spot, unsure of what to do.
"Gee?!" He suddenly yelled, making me jump slightly. "Gee?!"
There was a bustling and then we heard him on the stairs. I moved aside, next
to the wall to let him pass. He looked just as exposed and dishevelled as I
did, in only a pair of plain pyjama bottoms with his hair sticking up in
places.
"Mikey?" He frowned before his eyes widened and he looked at me and then back
to the guy. "What are you doing here?"
"Who's that?" He ignored Gerard's question and pointed at me as if I was deaf
or something.
Gerard began to rub the back of his neck, a worried look on his face. "Frank."
There was an awkward silence until the guy turned to me. "How old are you?"
Fear suddenly hit me. Oh, fuck.
"Uh twenty-one." I lied. What else was I supposed to do? "I haven't peaked
yet."
The guy smirked evilly at me. "Bullshit." He looked back at Gerard. "How old he
is?"
Gerard looked almost panicked, like he was being told off by a parent or
something. "Mikey, why are you here?" He asked instead, avoiding the question.
"How old he is, Gee?"
There was silence again.
"Don't make me call mom." The guy threatened.
"No!" Gerard suddenly burst out, his eyes widening.
Wait, was this his brother then? The one Gerard had told me about?
"Then tell me how old he is."
Gerard sighed before looking down and muttering, "Seventeen..."
I watched as the guy looked at me in surprise. This wasn't going too well.
"What?! Are you kidding?" The guy seemed to be addressing this towards me.
I shook my head slowly. I hated how young I was compared to Gerard.
He looked back to his brother. "Jesus, Gerard! He's younger than me!"
Seriously? Couldn't I be older than somebody?
"I know..." Gerard was quiet, still looking down and apparently avoiding eye
contact with his brother.
I couldn't help it then. I had to say something. Although, I said the wrong
thing, "Sir-"
"Sir?" Mikey mocked me, horror in his voice. "Oh my fuck, is he one of your
students?!"
Gerard finally looked up again. "Mikes-"
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Mikey cut him off, "This is
illegal!"
"I know!" Gerard's voice was suddenly louder, "Don't you think I already
recognise that?!"
I felt really out of place, like I was in the way or something. I held my arms
against my chest awkwardly as I watched this whole affair take place.
"Then what the fuck are you doing?" Mikey crossed his arms.
Gerard didn't say anything. He just looked at me with a sorrowful expression
before looking back to his brother. I kinda wanted to know the answer to this
question as well. Why was he with me anyway?
"Please don't tell anyone..." I whispered pathetically. I had no idea what else
to do. I didn't want this to end so soon.
Mikey's expression softened slightly before he glared at Gerard again and shook
his head. "I'm sure Gerard already knows how fucking stupid he is."
I'm not going to lie, that hurt me as well. I wasn't a mistake, was I? Did
Gerard regret being with me?
Gerard flinched in reaction to Mikey's words and lowered his head again. After
a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, he whispered, "Frank... Could you go
upstairs, please?"
"What?" I frowned.
"Go upstairs!" He yelled at me.
I must have looked shocked because his expression changed completely. It went
from anger to instant regret.
"I apologise, Frank. Just, please... Go upstairs."
I practically ran up the stairs, trying not to let Gerard's shouting affect me.
Although, I felt like shit. This fucking sucked.
***** Reassurance *****
I waited on Gerard's bed for about half an hour; waiting for him to come up and
tell me what the fuck was going on. He had been pretty on edge when I had left
and I was hoping that he would be calmer when he came up.
I wasn't too sure what to do. I was almost certain that he would ask me to go
home because staying over now would be pretty awkward. Especially as his
brother was here.
So that it wasn't too awkward when he asked me, I changed back into my clothes
and sat on the edge of his bed while I waited. My bag and shoes were downstairs
so I couldn't get them yet. I'd have to wait until I was on my way out.
While I was mindlessly liking random photos on Instagram, I heard the door open
and looked up. Gerard smiled a small smile before coming into the room and
shutting the door behind him.
I didn't speak while he came over and sat next to me on the bed. He sighed and
looked down at his hands in his lap. I watched them as well. He was fiddling
with the drawstrings of his pyjama bottoms.
"Mikey won't tell anyone." He said quietly.
For some reason, that surprised me a little. I looked back up to his face,
"Really?"
He finally looked at me. "He gave me his word. I know he won't go back on it."
I nodded slowly, staring down at the floor. I was kinda just waiting for him to
kick me out now. I was trying to think of what I was going to tell my mom.
Especially as it was after midnight.
One of Gerard's hands stroked my arm until I looked up again.
"Why are you clothed again?" He asked, fiddling with the zip of my hoodie.
I didn't really understand. "Because I'm going home?" I frowned.
"You are?" He frowned as well.
Okay so maybe I had this all wrong. "But aren't you kicking me out?" I turned a
little so I was facing him more.
"Why ever would you conceive that illation?"
I didn't really know what that word meant but I shrugged anyway, feeling kinda
embarrassed for jumping to conclusions.
"Frank." Gerard caught my attention again. He looked me in the eyes and he had
that serious look on his face. If he had that expression, I knew I had to
listen to him.
"All is well. There is no need for you to make yourself scarce."
"What about your brother?" I asked quietly. I couldn't really believe that all
was well.
Gerard forced a smile. "He will come around. I would like for you to become
reacquainted with one another tomorrow. Perhaps start over. You didn't exactly
meet on the best of terms."
I nodded in agreement. Our first impressions of each other weren't exactly
great.
"So, unclothe yourself and then we shall adjourn into Slumberland." He stood up
and climbed back into the head of the bed, stretching when he was lay down.
I smirked and got up as well. I decided just to sleep in my boxers again.
Gerard watched as I practically jumped out of my jeans and shrugged off my
hoodie and t-shirt.
"Pink, hm? How did I not observe that before?" He smiled at me.
I looked down at my boxers. I had asked my mom to specifically get me a pink
pair because I liked to challenge gender roles. I hadn't really planned on
anyone actually seeing them.
"Yeah." I looked back up and grinned.
"Captivating. Now would you please turn off the light and join me? I am awfully
lonely over here." He sent me another bright smile.
He didn't need to ask me twice. I switched off the light and made my way back
over to the bed.
He held the sheet up for me as I climbed into it. We returned to our previous
positions of me cuddling him, my head on his chest, with his arm around me. I
really did feel at ease lying like that.
It was silent for a few minutes until I couldn't hold it in any longer, "What
did you tell your brother?"
Gerard didn't reply straight away. The hand that was around me started to
lightly stroke my arm while I waited for his answer. It wasn't that I was
desperate to know. I just wanted to know what Gerard thought and most
importantly, if he was regretting whatever this was between us.
"Firstly," Gerard began, "I criticised him for turning up unannounced at an
incredulous hour."
I sniggered a little. Of course he had done that.
"I then managed to convince him that I am an adult and I can make my own
decisions. I do love my brother but he does occasionally like to meddle in my
life and coddle me." Gerard placed his free hand over mine and started idly
tapping it.
"But what if this is a bad decision?" I had no idea why I was asking that but I
did anyway. It sounded like I was trying to convince him that this was a bad
idea but really, we both already knew it was. I still couldn't really believe
that it was actually happening.
Again, he didn't answer straight away. He just continued to tap out some tune
on my hand.
Eventually, he sighed and said, "In regards to you, Frank... It will never be a
bad decision. If you haven't already noticed, I am rather fond of you."
I smiled in the dark and cuddled into him a little more. "I'm pretty fond of
you too."
"I should hope so." I heard the smile in his voice, "I do like it when we are
on the same page."
***** Awkward *****
"I don't think this is a good idea..." I felt so uncomfortable. I knew Gerard
meant well but I was scared that if I said the wrong thing, his brother would
tell on us, or worse: try to break us up. Especially after our last encounter.
"I promise it will be okay, Frank. Mikey isn't that unnerving. He only has a
few months on top of you." Gerard went down the stairs so I had to follow.
I really thought that going home would be the best thing now; not trying pto
win over his brother. This could go so wrong. This mission really needed to be
aborted.
Mikey was sat on the sofa, on his phone. He looked up when we came into the
room and his eyes instantly narrowed when he saw me. "Oh, look. It's the cougar
and his underage fuck buddy."
I cringed at his words and felt even more awkward than before. This wasn't
going to end well.
"Please try to be, at least, civil." Gerard sighed, "You may not apprehend
this, Mikey, but Frank is important to me."
I couldn't stop a smile worming its way onto my face. I felt slightly smug.
Mikey put his phone away and crossed his arms, "If you say so."
"I do." Gerard agreed, sitting down next to his brother, leaving me to stand
uneasily in front of them.
"I just wanna know..." Mikey sighed, shaking his head, "How the fuck...?"
Gerard smiled a little and looked at me. I smiled back, feeling embarrassed.
"I took to him instantly. He is the light in my dark."
I blushed a little, the smile on my face growing bigger. He was the light in my
dark.
"Okay..." Mikey smirked before finally looking at me. He was silent as his eyes
roamed over me. I felt so uncomfortable.
"So... Gerard's your teacher?" He finally asked.
I nodded, "Um yeah..."
"How long have you two... Uh..." It was Mikey's turn to feel uncomfortable.
"Let's leave out the specifics." Gerard laughed nervously, "I just wanted you
to know that this isn't just uh... a physical relationship."
My ears pricked up. Since we'd never really specified what we were to each
other, I was interested in what he had to say. I obviously already knew that we
weren't just in a friends with benefits type of deal, but I was still intrigued
by his side of the story.
"Seriously?" Mikey seemed to find that hard to believe.
"I am being most serious." Gerard nodded. He looked at me again and smiled
fondly. "I am always serious."
"True that." Mikey muttered and I had to agree as well.
"Do you accept our relationship?" Gerard asked bluntly after a few seconds of
silence. I thought that he should give him a bit of time to digest all of this
but alright.
Mikey looked at me again for a long moment before looking back to his brother.
"It's kinda ridiculous but yeah, I guess. I won't tell anyone and don't worry,
I won't tell mom." He smirked.
It was weird to think Gerard had a higher authority to look up to like a mom
but he obviously had one.
"That is most appreciated." Gerard chuckled nervously.
"You're welcome." Mikey shrugged and stood up, "I'm going out. I'll see you
later."
Gerard stood up as well, "Don't get up to any mischief."
"I'll do anything but." Mikey smirked and pulled on his jacket, leaving a
minute later.
That left just me and Gerard.
"I uh..." I still felt pretty awkward, "I should probably go."
Gerard came back over to me and moved some of my hair our of my face carefully.
"If you insist."
I coughed awkwardly and nodded before pulling on my Converse and tying the
laces. When I was stood up properly again, I saw he was holding my bag out for
me.
"Thanks..." I mumbled, taking it from him and shoving it over my shoulder.
This whole situation had thrown me a bit, if I was being honest. Sometimes I
forgot that this was just between the two of us so when we weren't being as
careful as we should have been, like at school when that TA had walked in, I
felt shitty. It was just a reminder that this relationship was never going to
be a real one that was accepted by anyone.
I was only ever going to be his dirty secret.
At first, I hadn't minded. Now though, it was becoming unbearable. If I wanted
to stay with him, which I really fucking did, I'd just have to suck it up and
get on with it. Didn't mean I had to like it though.
Gerard opened the front door for me. "Would you like me to drive you home?"
"Nah, it's okay. I don't live that far away." I smiled at his offer.
"If you are sure..." He looked a little disheartened, "I will see you on Monday
then."
"Yeah." I agreed, the awkward feeling not leaving. Should I kiss him goodbye
like normal?
He answered that question for me by leaning in and lightly pressing his lips to
mine. When he pulled away again, he smiled sadly and said, "Remember that it is
the performance on Friday."
Oh, shit, yeah. We were finally performing our plays.
I nodded, "I think we're ready."
"As do I." He agreed before moving out of the way so I could leave, "Have a
good remainder of your weekend."
"You too." I smiled before leaving, hearing the door shut behind me.
***** Performance *****
"Please could everyone arrive back here for about half five? There will be no
time for a run through, but I know you are all more than ready." Mr Way smiled
round at us all before propelling himself from in front of the stage to his
desk on his chair.
The class started leaving noisily, talking about where to go for food and who
they had invited to come and watch the plays.
I dragged out putting my chair away and picking up my bag. I could have gone
with Willow and her friends but I couldn't be bothered. Plus, there was someone
else I'd rather spend my time with.
I went over to his desk just as the door shut behind the last student leaving.
"We really should stop meeting like this, Iero." Gerard smiled up at me from
behind his desk.
"Well, I have to be here. It's school." I smirked.
"Touché." He started cleaning his desk up a little, "How are you feeling about
the performance tonight?"
I wasn't actually feeling that nervous. We'd performed as a class before but
I'd never actually had a speaking part before. It would probably hit me right
before how scary it is.
"I'm feeling good about it."
He looked up again and smiled, "I'm gratified to hear that. Do you have
relatives coming?"
I looked down at the floor and kicked it lightly with my shoe. "My mom and
stepdad are coming. My dad didn't want to come."
"Why ever not?" I heard the papers he had been fiddling with go quiet.
I looked up again and shrugged, "He just said he was busy."
Gerard had a slight frown on his face as he thought for a moment. Eventually,
he said, "That does not mean he didn't feel inclined to come."
I merely shrugged again in response. I wasn't that bothered; I was kind of used
to it.
"No matter." Gerard suddenly stood up and pushed his chair across the room
until it was next to the rows of chairs. He looked at me, "Would you be so kind
as to help me set up the room?"
"Yeah, sure." I dumped my bag next to the stage and helped him move the desk
until it was at the bottom of the room.
About ten or so minutes later, we had set out all the chairs in rows facing the
stage with an aisle in the middle.
"Thank you, Frank." Gerard smiled when we had finished. He stood in front of me
and looked at me fondly, "I suppose you should leave now so you have the
opportunity to have some dinner."
My own expression faltered a little, "But I'd rather stay here."
He chuckled lightly and placed a hand on the side of my face. I nuzzled into it
more and smiled.
"You are certainly a devoted individual."
"Is that a bad thing?" I placed one of my own hands over his.
"On the contrary," He smiled a warm smile, "I find it rather enchanting. But
nonetheless, you should go." He pulled his hand out from under mine and walked
over to his desk which was now near the wall at the other end of the room.
I sighed but did as he asked and grabbed my bag and headed for the door.
"Oh, Frank?"
I turned to look at him just as my hand was on the door handle. "Yeah?"
He was leant against the desk, his phone in his hand. "You will do marvellous
tonight."
"I hope so." I smiled a nervous smile in reply before leaving the room in
search of food.
It actually was beginning to hit me then. Whether I liked it or not, this
performance was happening. I knew my group was more than ready but that didn't
stop me from worrying. This was different to playing music. I didn't have a
guitar to hide behind.
A couple of hours later, I was standing behind the stage with the rest of my
group, listening to the crowd talk in the classroom. This was actually
happening.
We heard Mr Way get the audience's attention and give a small speech about how
hard we had worked and how proud he was. Everyone was clapping then and
apparently, we were starting.
I wasn't actually on until the third scene so I just had to wait in silence,
listening to what was happening onstage. It was pretty nerve-wracking. I was
glad I didn't have a bigger part.
When it was finally time for my entrance, I tried my best to perform it like we
had rehearsed a million times before and not look at the audience. However, I
couldn't help but steal a glance when I had finished my lines and I was just
standing at the back of the stage, reacting to the other characters.
The whole room was full and that was enough to freak me out a little. Every
seat seemed to be occupied. At least, it looked that way from the quick peek I
had taken.
By the time the play was finished, it hadn't felt like that much time had
passed and I was actually a little surprised that it was over. In my opinion,
it had gone pretty well.
We bowed onstage as the audience clapped a lot and I couldn't stop a stupidly
big grin from spreading across my face. This had actually been a lot better
than I had expected.
***** ... *****
I was kind of relieved that the play was finally over. We had been rehearsing
it for months, I was getting sick of it. Still, I'd enjoyed the experience and
actually performing it had been better than I thought it would be.
The only problem I had with the performance was that it had been on a Friday.
That meant I couldn't have stayed around Gerard's house. He preferred we stuck
to the weekends when it came to the physical part of our relationship but that
didn't stop me from trying to convince him otherwise.
I obviously didn't give a shit about school so staying over on a weekday was no
problem for me. However, Gerard didn't agree with me on that part. Didn't stop
me from trying though.
I had been hoping that since the performance was on a Friday, Gerard might have
let me stay round on the Saturday instead but when I had messaged him about it,
the response I got was this:
"I regret to inform you that the concept of you staying over this weekend has
to be denied. I have a lot of work to do and you should focus on your studies."
Not even a kiss or anything? Something was up.
I hadn't been able to talk to him since Friday when I had helped him set the
room up. It had obviously been too hectic around and after the performance so I
hadn't bothered to try but I was beginning to regret that.
I messaged him a couple more times that weekend but he didn't reply once which
was unlike him. Even if I had only messaged him out of boredom, he always
replied. What was going on?
By the time it was Monday morning, I was a little skeptical about how he was
going to act. This prolonged silence had never happened before. Was everything
still the same?
I was probably just overthinking everything like an idiot. Everything was fine.
Drama basically consisted of Mr Way saying how well we had all done and giving
us some initial feedback. I watched him carefully and he smiled at me as usual
but then again, he smiled at everyone. This just reminded me of before we had
gotten together when I was unsure if he felt the same way. He was good at
hiding his feelings.
When I headed back during the free, I thought over the performance from the
week before. It was strange that such a big thing we had been working towards
for so long was over in the matter of hours. What was next?
Gerard was standing over his desk when I entered the room. He was ruffling
through some work and his desk looked a lot less tidy than usual.
"Hey." I stopped a few feet away from it.
He didn't look up; just continued with his looking. "Good day."
I felt awkward for some reason. "You okay?"
"Naturally," He replied with a slight huff, "And yourself?"
From hearing the tone of voice he was using, I definitely felt out of place.
Maybe he had just had a bad weekend and was still getting over it.
"Um yeah, I'm alright."
He didn't say anything else and I couldn't think of what to say so it just
stayed silent. That was until he sighed loudly and dropped down into his chair
with a thump.
I stared at him in confusion and watched as he rubbed his eyes and sat back.
"You're not okay then." I noted quietly.
"How observant of you." He didn't move his hands from his face so his voice
sounded slightly muffled, "Perhaps you should leave me be."
I frowned, "What? You want me to go?"
Finally, he moved his hands, "I do indeed. If that is a problem, there is
nothing you can do about it. I am the teacher and you are the student."
What the fuck.
I stared at him with a half open mouth before turning and walking out. What the
fuck!
I had to go to the toilets to calm myself down after that. Seriously though,
where had that come from? He had never spoken to me like that before.
Twenty minutes later, I'd already decided that I was going back after school to
see what was going on. No way was I being left in the dark while something was
happening to him. I was here to support him.
Of course, that meant that the rest of the day dragged on like a motherfucker.
When it was finally the end of the day, I rushed over to his room. I knew I'd
catch him because he never left school straight away. He always had some work
to sort out. Still though, I headed there quickly.
I had to wait awkwardly outside his room while his last class filed out. When I
was sure they had all left, I nervously entered.
He was in the same position I had left him in: slouched down in his chair. This
time though, he was staring up at the ceiling with his hands grasping the arms
of the chair like he was on edge about something.
"Gerard?" My voice sounded so unnatural in the silent room.
His head whipped down quickly and he looked at me with an expressionless face.
What did that mean?
"Frank." He finally spoke, "Why ever are you here?"
For some reason, that stung a little. Didn't he realise how much I cared for
him? "I was worried. You were a little uh tense earlier."
He made a quiet noise in reply before standing up and picking up his briefcase.
"I was just leaving."
Well that was bullshit. He hadn't been thinking about leaving before I had
turned up.
"Um okay?" I didn't know how else to reply. I was never the best at talking
about feelings and shit like that.
"That means that you should leave as well." He started walking towards me and
for a moment, I actually thought he was going to smile at me or hug me or
something but no. Instead, he walked straight past me and out the door,
switching the light off on his way out.
I stood gaping for a moment in the darkness before I rushed after him. No
fucking way was I letting him leave without telling me anything.
"Sir!" I remembered I was still at school and there were still students around.
I already knew I looked like a stupid teacher's pet but I didn't care anymore.
There weren't that many people around anyway.
We made it outside, him power walking ahead and me struggling to keep up.
"Sir!"
He finally stopped and spun round on his heel, his eyes almost penetrating.
I stopped and couldn't help but stare back at him like a deer in headlights. He
had never looked at me in that way before.
"What is it, Frank?" He scared me a little, not gonna lie.
Still, I didn't back down. "What's wrong? Something's happened and running away
from it won't help."
Something I'd said must have made him think because I noticed a small change in
his expression before he glanced around to make sure there was no one near.
Everyone had more or less left now though.
"You're right." He sighed, his voice a lot quieter than before.
I watched as he looked down at the floor before looking back up with a sad
expression. What I expected to happen next was that he would tell me what was
up but it wasn't exactly what I thought it was.
"This is over, Frank."
It took me a few seconds to register the words he had said in my brain. "I...
What?"
He sighed again, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. "This, what
we had between us, is over."
Again, it didn't sound right. The words were in a strange order and it took me
a moment to understand what they meant. "Why?" I just stared at him with wide
eyes. I didn't care if I looked or sounded pathetic; I needed to know.
He really looked like he didn't want to elaborate. "It never should have begun,
let alone get to this stage. I abused my power and... Anything I felt towards
you... It was purely sexual. I feel nothing romantic towards you."
My mouth opened and closed. Deep down, I knew that was bullshit. He had even
told me himself multiple times that our relationship was more than just sex. He
had said that!
"But... No." I shook my head, trying to make sense of it all, "No!"
"Frank, please." He looked so uncomfortable, "Don't make this any more
difficile than it needs to be."
I pointed a finger at him, "You told me it was more than sex!"
"Hush." He bit his lip, glancing around, "I am but a Drama teacher after all."
Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit!
"I know I was out of line." He continued his lies, "I took advantage of you,
Frank. I know I should never have done that. You are so young-"
"Fuck off!" I exploded, my hands balling into fists, "That was never an issue!
You said it yourself!"
"Please don't upset yourself further."
Me upset myself further?!
"Are you fucking with me right now?" I tried to calm my breathing, "Is this a
joke?"
His expression somehow went even more sad as he shook his head. "This is for
the best. I..." He took a deep breath, "I no longer have a use for you."
What was I, some fucking toy?! Why was he saying all of this? It wasn't true!
"You're lying!" I willed myself to stop but I couldn't help it and before I
knew it, large tears were making their way down my cheeks.
I thought I saw him start to move closer to me but he stopped himself.
"This was a mistake."
A cherry right on top of a fucking fail of a cake that resembled my life.
The tears were in no condition to be stopped at that moment and I apparently
thought that I didn't look pathetic enough because I whimpered out, "But you
can't... I-I love you."
He closed his eyes.
I couldn't tell if it was in disgust or pain and honestly, I didn't want to
know.
After a few painfully silent seconds, he opened them again and said in a flat
tone, "I feel nothing towards you."
I almost sobbed out loud then. It was like someone had grabbed a knife and was
stabbing it into my chest multiple times. No wait, there was also some sort of
poison on the end of the knife that burnt if it touched you. And someone was
kicking me in the gut over and over again at the same time. Times that by one
million and you'll get to how I felt at that moment.
"I have to be leaving now. Goodbye, Frank." And with that, he fucking turned
and left.
I stared after him, tears flowing down my face and just stood there. What the
fuck was I supposed to do now?
There was nothing to do.
The only thing I could think to do was run. I ran all the way home, not
stopping once, and threw myself onto my bed.
I must have cried most of the evening because I felt so fucking emotionally
exhausted by the end of the night that I passed out without eating anything.
Maybe I was hoping I could sleep everything away. Sadly, life didn't work that
way.
***** Self-Pity City. Population: Me. *****
"Hello? Frank? Wake up."
I was already awake. I'd been awake for a few hours now. I just didn't want to
get up.
My mom sighed from the doorway and I heard movement. "Are you going to school
today?" She asked, her voice closer.
I kept my head under the covers and groaned in reply, wishing I didn't exist.
There was a soft thud as something landed on the end of my bed. I assumed it
was the dog.
My mom sighed again. "You can't have three days off in a row if there's nothing
wrong with you."
"There is something wrong with me." I mumbled from under the covers.
Peppers had moved up the bed and was pushing at my head, trying to get me to
come out.
"Well then enlighten me." My mom was using her stern tone. I could tell she was
probably crossing her arms.
I finally pulled the covers down, the light hitting me. I squinted for a second
and moved the mess that was my hair out of the way.
My mom was crossing her arms and Peppers moved onto my lap. At least he was
happy to see me.
I petted him as I replied, "I'm very ill."
My mom scoffed, "What happened to you being a good actor?"
I almost stopped mid-stroke and decided to ignore that last comment. I didn't
want any reminders of Drama or him.
When I didn't say anything, my mom dropped her arms and sat on the end of my
bed. "What's going on, Frankie?"
I didn't want to answer that either but I couldn't just pretend she wasn't
there. I decided to go for the next best thing: lying. "Nothing."
"Well, that's obviously not true." My mom rolled her eyes before moving up the
bed so she was sat next to me. "Something's happened at school."
"No it hasn't." I kept my gaze on Peppers, hoping she wouldn't see through me
but it was obvious that she already could.
It was silent before she stood up. "Today is the last day you have off. I have
to go to work but I'll be back at lunchtime to check on you and you better have
an answer for me by then."
I mumbled something vague in reply and then she was gone.
Peppers continued to stare up at me with large, black eyes; almost as if he was
questioning me as well.
"I thought he loved me." I whispered more to myself than to the dog. "He said
he cared about me."
Peppers seemed to sympathise with me and moved closer to nuzzle my neck. I
cuddled him back and couldn't help but begin to cry again. I'd lost count by
now how much I had cried but I was seriously surprised at how much liquid was
in my body.
My mom kept her word and was back by twelve thirty. By then, I had some music
blasting out of my sound system and I was lying on my back on my bed with my
head dangling off the edge.
"Frank." I could barely hear her over the angry music. "What are you doing?"
Instead of waiting for a reply, she went over to my sound system and turned it
down.
I watched, upside down, as she turned to face me again. "I'm hoping that if I
lie here for long enough, the blood will rush to my head and it'll explode."
"Well, that's a bit dramatic."
Dramatic. Like someone. Like him.
Was it possible to cry upside down?
"Frank, sit up." She sighed and sat down on the bed next to me.
I reluctantly did as she asked and immediately crossed my legs and hugged them
to my chest.
"What's happened?" She repeated her question from earlier.
"It's nothing." My voice was small. I wasn't really doing a good job at trying
to convince her.
It was silent until she said, "You have to help me out here, Frankie. I've
never seen you like this before. Something must have happened."
I merely shrugged and kept my gaze on the bed in front of me. Obviously, there
was no way I could tell her about me and Gerard. I wan't angry enough to get
him sent to prison. The anger had worn off now and I was mostly sad and
confused. I still had no idea what I'd done wrong.
My mom wasn't giving up though. "Is is a friendship problem?"
I shook my head. Pfft. What friends?
"Are you being bullied?"
"No, nothing like that." I dropped my legs and starting tapping on my knee.
She was silent for a moment before saying, "A relationship issue?"
I stopped tapping and stayed quiet, not really sure what to say anymore. I had
to tell her something or she wouldn't let this go.
"So it is then?" She asked when I hadn't said anything.
I just groaned loudly and lay back on the bed, wanting it to swallow me like it
did to Johnny Depp in Nightmare on Elm Street.
"Is there a girl?"
I grimaced slightly. Ah, right. "I like guys, Mom."
"Oh."
I had to sit up slightly to see her reaction. She was just looking at me as if
I'd told her something completely normal.
"I thought you knew." I muttered before lying back down properly again.
"Not officially. I did wonder occasionally though." I heard a chuckle in her
voice, "All those posters make sense now."
I looked over to the wall that was covered in band posters; some of the band
members with their t-shirts off. "That has nothing to do with it, Mom. Well..."
I reconsidered, looking at Billie Joe Armstrong, "Maybe a little."
"Is that what's been getting you down lately?" She pulled my attention back.
"What?" I frowned, sitting up again, "No, it's not that. I've known I like guys
for a while now."
She raised her eyebrows slightly. "Well, okay then. Is there a guy at school."
I resisted the urge to make a loud noise in annoyance. "I don't know."
She smiled a little, "That's a yes then."
I decided to just say it then. Otherwise, we'd be there all night. "Basically,"
I crossed my legs again, "He said he liked me and we were together for I
dunno... A couple months? And then on Monday, he just turned around and said he
had never liked me and it had been a mistake."
My mom frowned at what I'd told her, "Maybe he's confused still?"
"I don't think that's it." I sighed, "He's older than me."
"Doesn't mean he can't be confused." She pointed out.
I thought about that for a second. Gerard had been engaged to a woman and he
had a child with her. He must have liked girls at some point to get that far.
"I don't know..." My voice went quiet. It felt like it was something more deep-
rooted than that. My mom wouldn't be able to help unless I told her everything
and there was no way that was going to happen.
"Why don't you ask him?" She suggested.
I'd never really thought of that. My initial plan had been to hide out in my
room until I was eighteen and didn't have to go to school anymore or see him.
"I guess I could."
"There's no harm in trying. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding." My mom moved
some of my hair out of my eye-line.
I just shrugged. It wasn't a misunderstanding.
"If he still doesn't want to be with you, then his loss. You're amazing."
I rolled my eyes, "You're supposed to say that; you're my mom."
"Doesn't mean it isn't true." She smiled. "And if you need help getting over
him, I've got a few stradegies that have worked in the past. If you get a
picture of him, we can stick it on the door and throw darts at it."
I sniggered at that. "Thanks, Mom."
"That's okay, Sweetie." She stood up, "But tomorrow, you're going to school. No
more bunking off."
"Alright, fine." I reluctantly agreed. After all, I couldn't hide forever. I
really wasn't looking forward to Drama first thing though. Maybe I would skip
it. Yeah, that was a good idea.
"Your attendance is bad enough with your ear infection record from ninth
grade."
"Thanks for the reminder." I lay back down as she went over to my doorway.
"No more loud music. If you're angry, scream into a pillow. That always worked
for me."
I smirked, "Alright then." I loved my mom.
"Eat something if you haven't had lunch yet. I'm going back to work. I'll see
you at dinner."
I turned my head to look at her. "Okay. Bye."
She started going down the stairs, "Love you. No more moping. He doesn't
deserve you."
I couldn't help but smile. Maybe I should have talked to my mom three days ago.
***** Compunction *****
{Gerard's POV}
 
"Gerard?"
I suddenly recalled where I was situated and looked at Mikey who was frowning
at me from the passenger seat.
"Yes?"
"What's up? You've been really quiet these last few days."
I understood where his worry was deriving from but I wasn't comfortable to
speak about what had happened. "I am perfectly adequate. Thank you for your
concern."
Mikey didn't seem to believe me. "Is it okay if I call bullshit on that one?"
I sighed and got out of the car, not feeling chivalrous enough to provide a
response, and waited for him to follow suit thus I could lock the car.
When he had departed from his seat and I had sealed the lock to the car, we
progressed into my small but tolerable home. I had always been rather fond of
the house and was proud I had found it at an agreeable price.
I decided to turn the kettle on to provide us each with a refreshing and
delectable hot beverage. I unequivocally needed one.
"How's uh... Frank? Is that his name?" My brother's words stopped me in my
tracks.
Now, how would one conduct oneself in this situation? "Our relationship has
been terminated."
"Oh, really?" He sounded subtly taken by surprise, "How come?"
I belatedly turned to focus on him. My younger brother was perched on the
outdated yet comfortable sofa, watching me with vigilant eyes. "I thought you
were crazy about him."
I attempted not to show how uneasy I felt about this conference. "I never
aforementioned anything of the sort. All you need to perceive is that Mr Iero
and myself are no longer involved in any romantic relations. I would prefer we
no longer mention such things."
That was all I had to say on the matter and so I turned again to go into the
kitchen.
"Suit yourself." I heard as I exited the room.
~
"Enjoy your lunch, all of you. I look forward to our lesson together tomorrow."
I was beginning to feel as though the smile I sent my student's way was more
forced than real. At least, for the time being it was.
Frank had not shown up and therefore had eschewed another lesson. That would
make it four consecutive days. I had not encountered his presence since our
confrontation on Monday afternoon. I was evidently perturbed by his absence.
I had contemplated asking the office to contact his mother but that would
negate my attempt to disregard the existence of the whole ordeal. I was already
failing.
Once everyone had left the classroom and I was left marooned with my own
thoughts, I picked up my briefcase and decided to adjourn off campus for my
lunch. I needed a sufficient aberration.
I only made it to the end of the hallway, however. My exit abbreviated by the
sight of Mr Thompson's lunchtime detention class through his door window. It
was no arcane that Peter Thompson consistently kept certain misbehaved students
in his classroom over the lunch break. Customarily, I thought nothing of it.
That was until I caught sight of Frank sat among the regulars.
In a moment of perplexity, I considered the dilemma. Eventually, I found myself
knocking and entering the room. I wasn't quite sure what my objective was
though.
"Excuse me, Mr Thompson?"
I felt a little apprehensive as every set of eyes landed on my existence in the
doorway.
"Might I speak with Mr Iero expeditiously? I'll be as brisk as I can."
Mr Thompson nodded, looking back down at the book in his hands.
I turned my attention to the student I had asked for. He looked almost alarmed
but still followed me out of the classroom and into the hallway.
It was uncomfortably silent for a few seconds until I decided to question him,
"Why haven't you been in class?"
"Was ill." He voice as small as he stared down at his feet.
I frowned slightly, knowing that that wasn't exactly the case. "And today?"
His response was just a shrug and it made me sigh. I didn't like the situation
any more than he did. "Frank, if there is anything you would like to say-"
"You're a fucking liar." He cut me off abruptly, looking up with harsh eyes,
"Why are you pretending that none of it meant anything to you?"
I was at a loss for words. I had been hoping the subject had been closed and we
would never mention it again.
"I obviously was not unhinged if that is what you are implying."
"Stop with the fancy talk."
I could sense that he was angry but mainly upset and for the briefest of
moments, I felt some contrition. "Frank, I-"
"Just leave me alone." He apparently did not want to hear my side of the story.
I had no answer to that so he went back into the classroom, shutting the door
behind him.
I stared after the trail of sadness he had left behind before finally leaving
the building. I needed some air.
I decided to spend my lunch break in my car, staring at myself in the mirror's
reflection on the back of my sun visor. Many words came to mind recently when I
was faced with my own reflection: failure, idiot, disappointment, washout.
The last ten minutes consisted of my eyes deciding to leak and me persistently
wiping them. I had made my decision; why was I deploring it? I had done my
crying and my overthinking so why was I back at this stage again?
I had thought it was the right thing to do. That was until he had told me that
he loved me. That was what caused me to demur it.
I wasn't sure what I regretted more: the whole relationship or the breakup. I
had been a complete cretin and let myself get heavily involved. None of it
should ever have happened in the first place.
However, I couldn't help but want it to continue. After all, I loved him too.
***** Something's Not Right *****
Fuck my life. What even was the point of anything anymore? Right, okay, sure
that sounded dramatic but I didn't care.
How would you feel if you had spent most of your life hating yourself and
everything else and then one day, someone came along and made you feel like
life actually wasn't too bad only to fuck off again? And the worst part was: he
wasn't gone. I saw him every fucking day and there was nothing I could do about
it.
My mom wouldn't let me change schools. I'd asked her a few times. She just kept
telling me to stop overreacting. She didn't know the whole story though.
If I was being honest, I didn't know the whole story either. Gerard still
hadn't told me why he had ended things. He could tell me how he had never had
feelings for me and how it had been a mistake all he liked. I knew it wasn't
true. There had to be something else.
It took a lot of guts for me to actually go back to Drama the next Monday. No
matter how much I didn't like it, I couldn't start to fail that class as well.
My mom would definitely hate me then.
After seeing Gerard on Friday at lunch, the rest of my day had been pretty bad.
I couldn't stop thinking about him and how everything had gone to shit. It
really didn't help that I had no one else to talk to about this. I was
completely alone.
I spent the weekend wallowing in my room again. I didn't even feel like playing
my guitar.
So by the time Monday was here and I was walking to school, I wasn't exactly in
the greatest of moods. The temptation to find him and unload all of the anger I
was feeling was big but the thought completely left my mind when I saw him in
the staff parking lot.
He was standing next to his old car and running his hand through his hair
anxiously. His other hand was holding his phone to his ear and there was a
cigarette dangling from his bottom lip. What had happened to smoking being a
dirty habit?
I wasn't much of an eavesdropper but his voice made me stop behind one of the
cars and watch him from through the windows.
"Yes, yes." He seemed to be saying, taking a drag from the cigarette, "I
understand. You know I do. Please, stop calling me."
I frowned as I listened. Who could he be talking to? He sounded almost
distressed and from the way he was puffing on that cigarette, I could tell he
was stressed.
Was it his ex fiancé? It couldn't be, could it? She had never made him feel
that uncomfortable.
"I have done what you have asked of me. You will never begin to apprehend how
much that aggrieved me-" He stopped mid-sentence, the colour draining from his
face. "I see..." His voice was even quieter. I only just about managed to hear
him, "I apologise. Yes... Goodbye."
He slowly removed his phone from his ear and just stared down at it for a few
moments before suddenly throwing it onto the floor with a crash.
I almost jumped and only just stopped myself from making a noise in surprise.
Gerard dropped the cigarette next to the broken phone and stomped it out before
doing the same to the phone and heading into the school. Even after he had
left, I stared after him. I had no idea what the fuck had just happened but I
really wanted to know.
I then had to remind myself that no, I didn't care. I was done with that part
of my life now. Gerard- Mr Way was none of my concern. It was time to live my
own life without him.
That didn't stop me from thinking about it though on the way to form. Something
was definitely up. That hadn't been a normal conversation.
By the time I was sitting down in Drama and I saw Gerard up close, thoughts
about forgetting this were going out of the window. To put it lightly, he
looked terrible. He had massive dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't
slept for days and his hair was such a mess, it looked like he had just gotten
out of bed. He also stunk of smoke and coffee and maybe a bit of alcohol? In
the morning? I was already really worried.
It took me about twenty minutes to realise that he hadn't made his usual
effort. There was no tie and no waistcoat. He was only wearing dress pants and
a white shirt. His shirt was only half tucked in.
I didn't know what to do. It wasn't like I could straight out ask him about it.
He had shut me out of his life. And I was fairly certain that there was no way
back in.
That meant there was nothing I could do. All I could do was sit back and watch
him slowly kill himself. If I even tried to ask him how he was I knew he would
push me aside. I was finding it hard to believe that he still cared about me
anymore.
With everything that was happening, it was seeming more and more likely that he
had suddenly just realised what he had doing and ended our relationship to
restore some peace. Although, it seemed to be having the opposite effect on him
from the look of his appearance. And I had thought this breakup had left me
looking bad.
It wasn't just how he looked though. He was lacking in his usual enthusiasm and
the lesson just appeared to be so much duller than usual. It actually dragged
on. The atmosphere was completely different, for the worst.
I left the classroom when the bell rung thinking about the lack of smiles he
had conveyed and how shaky he almost seemed to be. The thought of him maybe
being on drugs passed through my mind but I dismissed it. To me, it had to be
something else.
I obviously spent the rest of the day split between worrying about him and
trying not to care. How was I supposed to get over him when he was all I could
think about? That wasn't exactly healthy, Frank.
By the time it was finally home time, I made my way to the gate and thought
about what I could use as a good distraction when something stopped me in my
tracks. Gerard's brother was standing next to the gate with his arms crossed,
watching me. Surely he wasn't waiting for me?
I cautiously continued towards him and just as I was about to pass him, he
spoke, "I need to talk to you."
I stopped again and looked at him, confused.
"Yeah, you." He smirked slightly.
"What do you want with me?" I couldn't help but glance over to Gerard's beat up
Vauxhall Cavalier.
Mikey's words caught my attention again, "It's about Gerard."
***** Confrontation *****
"So, he hasn't told you shit either then?" Mikey slumped back in his chair,
apparently irritated by this fact.
I shook my head, "He's barely spoken to me for over a week. I still don't know
why he ended things." I still felt a pang of misery when I thought about last
Monday after school and how cold his words had been. "What has he told you?"
Mikey's expression was thoughtful as he replied, "When I asked about you, he
said you guys weren't together anymore. I thought this whole thing was to do
with you."
"What whole thing?" I was so confused about what was going on. I had thought
Gerard was close to his brother. Something really had to be wrong for him not
to speak to Mikey about it.
"He's been so distant lately and I honestly thought it was something between
you two so when he told me you guys were over, I wasn't really surprised. I
mean, I was, but that was mainly because a couple days before, he had been
trying to convince me how great you are." He shrugged. "It just seems weird."
I decided not to fixate on the fact that Gerard had thought I was great. What
had changed in only a week? "So you think it's something else then?"
"I don't really have any evidence to suggest otherwise. Although, I barely have
any evidence. Did you notice he's started smoking again?"
I nodded, a frown appearing on my own face. "I couldn't not notice, really. He
reeked of the stuff."
Mikey nodded in thought, leaving a silence to settle between us. I wondered
what he was thinking and if there was any way to sort out the mess that had
unfolded in less than two weeks. I remembered what I had seen that morning. "He
broke his phone."
"What?" Mikey's eyes settled on me again.
"This morning, I caught the end of a strange phone call he was having and at
the end of it, he threw his phone onto the ground and stepped on it."
"So he broke it on purpose?" Mikey looked as confused as I felt.
I nodded. "It was really weird. He sounded pretty stressed out."
Who would deliberately break something they used every day? I was sure Steve
Jobs had probably cried somewhere when it had happened.
"Do you know who he was on the phone to?"
"No." I sighed, "But it wasn't a normal conversation."
"How do you know? Did you hear any of it?" Mikey asked.
"I only heard the end but it didn't really make much sense. He just seemed
really on edge. Probably why he broke his phone."
It was still confusing me a lot. Maybe I should have confronted him about it
when it had happened. Although, he had looked stressed enough without me
appearing out of nowhere and butting in.
Mikey sighed and shook his head. "To be honest, I think you're the only one
he'll listen to."
"I doubt that." I looked down at my hands.
"Worth a try, right?" Mikey's words made me look up again.
I guess it couldn't hurt to try.
I said goodbye to Mikey about ten minutes later and walked home, thinking it
all over in my head. I couldn't talk to him about it at school. He seemed too
on edge and had too many reasons to brush me aside. So did that mean I had to
go to his house?
I stopped walking, thought over my options. Fuck it.
I turned and started in the direction of my teacher's house. Mikey had said he
was staying in town so that meant it would be just the two of us. Maybe I could
finally get to the bottom of this.
I had plenty of times to turn back during the twenty minute walk but I didn't.
I needed to know everything was okay with him. I knew it wasn't though.
By the time I made it to the front door, I was feeling nervous. I took a deep
breath and knocked. I was hoping he was actually in. His car was out front
though so he had to be.
After a few painfully long seconds, the door opened to reveal the man I was in
love with. And he looked... terrible.
"Gerard." I couldn't hide the concern that etched my voice, "What's happened?"
He looked even worse than this morning, if that was possible. He obviously
hadn't been sleeping and the stench of alcohol was stronger. I hadn't noticed
this morning but I could see that he hadn't shaved for a few days which was
unlike him. The stubble on his face went against his usual clean shave look.
"Nothing has happened." He looked surprised to see me, "Why are you here,
Frank? Our arrangement has dissipated."
"I still care about you." I actually almost felt physically sick at the thought
that something bad was happening to him. Why was he pushing me away?
"This is none of your concern. Everything is fine."
I didn't believe it for a second; I wasn't an idiot. "Stop bullshitting me.
Something's wrong."
He sighed and started fiddling with his hair like he usually did when he felt
uncomfortable. "Relationships diminish, Frank, through no fault of their own.
Nothing has to be wrong for me to terminate our affair."
This was actually painful. "Stop spouting crap. I know you, Gerard."
"No, you do not." The words lacked the spite he had intended to speak them
with. He looked too tired and upset to drive me away with anger. "You know
nothing about me."
I pushed past him, into the Living Room. I couldn't be fucked to repeat myself;
we were getting nowhere.
"Frank." He sighed and turned to look at me.
"Shut the door." I ordered, wanting him to finally give in and talk to me.
After staring at me with tired eyes for a few seconds, he actually surprised me
by shutting the front door and then crossing his arms. I had thought it would
have taken a bit more persuading.
"I know I'm just some stupid kid but I love you and I need to know you're
okay." I hadn't realised I'd said the L word yet again until I'd finished the
sentence. For fuck's sake, what was wrong with me?
He looked down at the floor, obviously unsure whether or not to speak. In the
end, he muttered, "I am completely and utterly satisfactory."
"But that's not true, Gerard. You can tell just by looking at yourself."
He looked up harshly and frowned. "Whatever do you mean?"
I decided to ignore his question by asking my own. "Why haven't you been
sleeping?"
The frown slowly left his face again. "I... I am completely fine."
I closed my eyes in anguish. He wasn't going to tell me, was he?
***** The Truth *****
"Frank," He sighed, "It is rather considerate of you to show so much concern
but everything is fine."
"You're literally just repeating the same bullshit over and over again now." I
hadn't realised how pissed I was but apparently I was. "I saw you talking to
someone on the phone this morning. You threw it at the ground."
He stared at me with a blank expression before saying, "You saw nothing."
I almost groaned out loud. "For fuck's sake. Talk to me, Gerard."
He moved past me and stood facing away from me, looking at the wall. I wondered
if he was considering giving in but I still wasn't sure. He didn't seem to be
backing down yet.
"I'm here for you and I know you care about me. Everything you've said over the
past few months couldn't have been lies. You're not that good an actor."
He didn't move. I needed to say something to get his attention but I didn't
know what. Maybe I needed to anger him into telling me. "What happened to how
confident you were? Since when were you such a coward? I thought you were
better than that."
"I am not a coward." His voice was quiet as he continued to face the wall.
"Prove it. Tell me what's wrong. You've got nothing to be scared about, right?"
Suddenly, without any warning, he turned and walked up to me until he was stood
right in front of me. His expression was unreadable and I couldn't help but
swallow slowly as I stared up at him. The look in his eyes was strange.
"If you must know..." His voice was only above a whisper, "I do cherish you
abundantly. So much so that I am protecting you. I am not allowing you to
plunge into an abyss as I am. You do not deserve that, Frank." His hand lifted
as if to stroke my cheek but at the last minute, he decided against it and
moved away again.
"What are you protecting me from?" I tried to ignore the feeling his aborted
attempt at affection gave me. He turned to look at me again. "I am protecting
you from myself."
What? I frowned. "What are you talking about?"
He sighed for about the tenth time and stood closer to me again. "Someone is...
familiar with our relationship."
Was he saying what I thought he was saying? "Do you mean-"
"I received a letter under my classroom door after the performance on Friday
two weeks ago. It simply stated that whoever had left it knew about our affair
and were threatening to report us to the authorities."
I didn't know what to say. Was this why he had ended things between us? Was he
worried about possibly going to jail? "So... What happened?"
"As you are aware, I was rather aloof that weekend and I came to the conclusion
that I was not allowing you be pulled down as well. I would prefer to face my
punishment alone."
"Stop being so dramatic." I tried not to make it obvious that I was worried.
"It can't be that bad."
"Frank, I would be facing a felony charge. Do you not understand that?" His
voice raised and his expression sharpened.
Shit, I hadn't realised it would be that bad. "Didn't you knew that all along?"
I didn't know where I was going with this.
He looked down and apparently seemed to nod. "I did."
That had to mean something. He had known that fact all along and yet still kept
the relationship with me. "Has this person contacted you again?"
Gerard looked up again. "They somehow came into contact with my cellphone
number and I have received a phone call at least once a day."
That would explain the stressful phone call I had encountered and the throwing
of the phone.
"Are they still threatening you?"
His hand went back into his hair to mess with it. "Yes. I have already sent
this individual a vast amount of money and... I terminated our relationship." I
watched as he suddenly seemed to collapse in front of me. His calm demeanour
broke down completely and he was practically crying. "I am utterly and
completely sorry, Frank. I never meant for any of this to happen." He slumped
down onto the sofa and covered his face with his hands.
I had no idea what to do. He was- We both were stuck in such a shitty
situation. I couldn't leave him with this all on his own.
"I am not a sex offender, Frank." His words were muffled behind his hands. He
realised what he had said and quickly moved his hands and looked at me with
wide eyes. "Unless you had not wanted to engage in a physical relationship. Oh
my Goodness, I pressured you into sexual encounters. I do deserve to be
arrested!"
"Gerard!" I dropped down onto my knees in front of him, "Shut the fuck up and
listen to me!"
He stopped rambling and stared at me with watery eyes. I hated seeing him so
vulnerable.
"You never pressured me, okay? I wanted to have sex with you. I love you."
There was that word again. "Do you want to be with me?"
He made a small noise. "Frank-"
"Do you want to be with me?" This was it. I would finally have some closure. I
felt that at this moment, he wouldn't lie to me. Not after everything he had
just told me.
After about ten painfully long seconds, he slowly nodded his head.
The relief I felt was almost overwhelming. I made a sudden decision that
actually seemed almost rational.
"Let's leave."
***** Running Out Of Options *****
The confusion on his face was almost enough for me to think about taking back
my suggestion. Although, it made sense to me. The more I thought about it, the
righter it felt.
"Frank, what are you-"
"I mean it." I hadn't realised how on board I was with this idea until I'd said
it. Surely this was the best answer to our problems? "Let's just go. I want to
be with you. I don't care what the law says."
Fuck the stupid shitty law. It wasn't right that just because we had met and
formed a relationship, this meant that Gerard was a sex offender in the eyes of
the police. I wasn't too young to know what I was doing.
"That may be the case. However, the authorities do not feel the same way." His
sad expression made me feel bad and I hesitantly reached out to cup his cheek
with my hand like he had done to me so many times.
He closed his eyes and sighed. For a moment, it looked like he was actually
considering it. Then his eyes opened again and he stood up, pushing past me
into the middle of the room. "I could never allow you to do that, Frank. That
is too much to ask of you."
I stood up as well and turned to watch him. He was pacing and messing his hair
up so much that it was practically standing on end.
"It isn't, I promise. You mean more to me than anything."
He paused to glance over to me. "Is that truthfully the circumstance?"
I nodded, moving in front of him again and then looking up at him. "I really
mean it."
His expression was unreadable as he stared back at me, his bloodshot eyes
looking conflicted. When it had been silent for whoever knows how long, he
rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes.
Those stupid fucking butterflies were back no matter how many times he had
gotten this close to me and I matched my breathing to his. "Please." My voice
was barely audible, "I..."
I didn't get the chance to continue though because his lips finally found mine
and his arms wrapped around my waist to pull me closer to him. I had forgotten
how much I loved to kiss him.
We stood like that for what felt like ages, just kissing in the middle of his
Living Room. My hands had ended up around his neck and I suddenly didn't want
to let go. I felt safe in his arms; as if nothing bad could happen.
Eventually, he pulled away again to breathe. He rested his forehead against
mine again and spoke softly, "Where would you like to go?"
My face almost hurt from how wide I smiled and I precipitously pulled him into
another kiss, still smiling into it. Fuck, I was so invested in this.
His hands moved under my t-shirt and they lightly traced circles on my back.
Before anything more could happen though, he pulled away again and removed his
hands completely.
I opened my eyes in confusion to see his sad expression. "It cannot be done,
Frank."
"Why not?" I frowned. He had practically agreed a minute ago.
He shook his head, slowly moving my hands from around his neck. "You have a
life here. I would hate to disrupt it."
"I don't give a shit about here!" I argued, "My mom's fine with Richard, I
barely see my dad anymore and I don't even speak to Willow."
He frowned. "Frank-"
"You're my life!" It was actually so true that it almost hurt. I had no idea
what I did with my time or my thoughts before I'd met him.
His sad expression didn't disappear. He replied quietly, "I have a daughter. I
cannot abscond and leave her."
I'd completely forgotten about her. It wasn't fair to make him uproot his
family but I was selfish and I wanted him to myself. Hell, I was onboard with
any scenario that let me stay with him.
I quickly thought through the available options. I was getting desperate. "We
can take her with us!"
He made a noise in the back of his throat. "Frank, this is getting ridic-"
"Please!" I finally broke down, clinging onto his shirt and pressing my face
into his chest, "I just want to be with you."
It was silent. All I heard was my breathing as I tried not to cry. I wasn't a
fan of crying in front of other people and I only did if I couldn't help
myself.
I felt his hand stroke the back of my head. "I suppose if the circumstances
were different..." His voice caused me to look up again, "We could have had the
most beautiful relationship." His dejected smile finally caused tears to roll
down my cheeks.
I closed my eyes and rested my head against his chest again. "It's not fair."
My voice was muffled slightly in his clothing.
"I know." He sighed, "I would have shown you off."
"What?" I looked up again, ignoring the wetness on my face and now on his
shirt.
His hand continued to stroke my hair. "If this relationship were legal, I would
introduce you to my companions and relations and shown you off. Flaunt you, as
it were."
"Why?" I couldn't help but smile, given the situation.
His sad smile finally lost some of its bleakness. "Because I love you."
***** Too Much To Think About *****
We had somehow ended up on Gerard's bed upstairs. And no, we weren't having
sex. We were lying on it, staring up at the ceiling with his arm around me and
his free hand holding one of mine.
"What's going to happen now?" I felt tired from crying and no matter how dire
the situation was, I couldn't help but feel relaxed in his arms.
"I haven't the faintest intimation." His voice was soft and silky in my ear.
The thumb on the hand holding mine started stroking the back of it. "It does
seem apparent that we are a bit stuck."
"That's putting it lightly." I muttered, "Why are we only just thinking about
this?"
He didn't answer straight away. Instead, he just continued to stroke my hand in
silence before saying, "Perhaps it was not something we wished to acknowledge.
The elephant in the room as such."
That made sense. There was a possibility we could continue sneaking around. I
didn't know about him but I wasn't really enjoying doing that. I didn't want to
be his dirty, little secret. Also, something was yelling in the back of my head
that we could be caught sooner or later.
Hang on, what was I talking about? We had already been caught. And now this
person was blackmailing Gerard which was why he hadn't been sleeping.
"This isn't fair." I moved slightly so I could look up at him, "Why are you the
only one who could end up in trouble? I'm just as much in this relationship as
you are."
"It is just the way things are." He looked worn out, his eyes half closed. They
lacked their usual brightness. I didn't like it.
I watched as he just looked at me, his eyes roaming all over my face. I didn't
feel insecure at all.
"Would it be possible to confide something in you, Frank?" He asked after a
minute or so of silence.
I just nodded, intrigued in what he had to say. He had already said that he
loved me. And yes, I was still feeling elated after hearing that.
"Frank," He moved his hand from mine to stroke my cheek lightly, "You captivate
me. Intensely. You invariably have. I would like you to know that my feelings
will not in any way alter no matter what happens."
It was supposed to be soothing but it made me feel kind of anxious. The way he
was talking, it was like he was preparing me for the worst. Well, it was in his
nature to be dramatic. Still, it made me feel on edge slightly.
"Nothing bad will happen... right?"
His hand slowly dropped onto my chest and I stared down at it, waiting for him
to reassure me.
He didn't reply which meant I wasn't put at ease. "Gerard...?" I turned again
to look at him.
I almost wasn't surprised to see his eyes closed. He had been on the verge of
sleep almost all afternoon. I liked to think that my presence had calmed him
enough for him to drop off.
I watched him for a little while, not being able to stop smiling at the
beautiful man. I loved him so fucking much.
After a while, I decided to leave him to it. My mom was probably wondering
where the fuck I was. I didn't even know what time it was.
It took me longer than usual to get up as I was trying not to disturb him. He
needed to sleep.
When I had successfully gotten up without waking him and was standing next to
the bed, I leant down to kiss him on the forehead.
His hair was beyond help anymore. It almost looked like he had put his finger
in a plug socket; the black strands standing straight up against the pillow.
His shirt was half unbuttoned, a coffee stain down one side. He was a hot mess.
Hot being the paramount word.
I checked my phone to see that it was after seven. Not too late but my mom
would argue. Especially on a school night. There were three unread messages and
two missed calls from her. I sent her a quick reply and apology, promising I'd
be home soon.
I also decided to leave Gerard a note, picking up a piece of paper that was on
the floor and looking for a pen. I found one on his dresser and scribbled down,
"went home. love you - Frank".
I switched the light off on my way out the room. When the door was closed, I
made a detour to the bathroom to empty my bladder and then was about to head
downstairs when I noticed the mysterious room that always had its door closed.
Gerard had never showed me it but I assumed it belonged to his daughter.
My curiosity got the better of me and I tip-toed past Gerard's room to open the
door. The room was slightly smaller than his and it looked completely
different. I was almost shocked. Compared to the rest of his house, which was
full of clutter and didn't look properly moved into, this room was tidy and
decorated.
There was a bed with a guard attached to it; probably to make sure the little
girl didn't fall off. Across from it, there was a light pink dresser and a
matching small desk next to it. On top of the desk were some pencils, a
sketchbook with a picture of a cat on it, and a small pile of children's
comics. White curtains were on the window and the bedspread matched it.
There were a pile of teddies at the end of the bed and the whole room was just
so sweet and it made me smile. Gerard cared so much about his daughter. There
was no way he could leave her. She deserved him more than me. I was an idiot
for thinking that he would even consider leaving her.
I closed the door again and finally went downstairs. It took me about five
minutes to find his front door key. It was hidden under a pile of comics on the
coffee table in the living room.
After opening the door and going out, making sure I had my bag and jacket, I
locked it again and shoved the key through the letterbox.
I thought about everything on the walk home and by the time I was walking down
the path to my house, I'd made my decision. Gerard was better off without me.
***** His Flower *****
I had never wished that I was eighteen more than ever. At eighteen, I could
drop out of school and be with Gerard without it being an issue. At eighteen,
everything would be perfect.
But no. I was seventeen. A stupid, little seventeen year old. It wasn't like I
was even close to eighteen either. Fuck.
The only immediate plan of action I could think of was pretending nothing was
happening but that wouldn't work because someone already knew and all of this
was a waste of time and we were going to get found out and Gerard would be sent
to prison and oh, God, I was babbling.
I made myself take a deep breath before going into Drama the next day. I hadn't
spoken to him since before he had fallen asleep the night before and if I was
being honest, I was a little apprehensive. I was hoping that he looked a bit
more rested.
My worst fears were realised though when I entered the classroom to find a
substitute teacher sat at his desk in his chair. Who the fuck.
Only one student made an enquiry as to where he was but the sub didn't really
give us much of answer. She just said he was "feeling under the weather". Fuck
that.
I decided to skip the rest of the day. What was the point? I'd given up on my
education long ago and I needed to know that he was okay. I knew there was no
point in calling or messaging him.
So that meant another trip to his house in less than twenty-four hours after
the first one. I was nothing if not consistent.
I managed to escape unnoticed while the rest of the school were going to second
period. It wasn't exactly an arduous task.
The walk to his house seemed longer than usual and by the time I was knocking
on his front door, I was second-guessing myself. What if he had packed his bags
and left without saying goodbye? No note or anything? It was definitely a
possibility. Especially given how flustered he had been when we had last
spoken.
Oh, shit, he had gone hadn't he? But his car was in the drive. That didn't mean
that he hadn't ordered a cab to the airport or something. Shit. Fuck. This was
it. His brother was going to answer and say he had disappeared in the night and
the police were looking and shit-
"Frank." Gerard's face was frowning when he had opened the door, "Why ever are
you not in school?"
"Why aren't you in school?" I counteracted, relieved that he was actually at
home. My mind was an asshole that jumped to conclusions.
He seemed to look behind me, as if looking out for anyone, before pulling me
inside and shutting the door. "This is not right." He seemed to be saying, "I
have corrupted your education desideratum."
"I just wanted to know you were okay." I explained, ignoring the complicated
word, "Why aren't you at school?"
He stared at me blankly for a moment before replying, "I was feeling a tad
overwhelmed." He then turned and went into the kitchen.
I followed. "I know you're scared but I told you, I'm here-"
"Frank, we are getting nowhere." He turned to look at me again, "The conclusion
we have come to has not altered. This will never work."
I just stared at him, wishing what he was saying wasn't true. This was. Fucked
up.
"What now then?" I asked in a small voice.
"Again," He sighed, "This is where we are perplexed. Perhaps we should..." He
looked down and took a deep breath before looking up and continuing, "Leave
things alone."
"What do you mean?" I knew what he meant. I knew it was the only thing we could
do.
He sighed again and ran a hand through his greasy hair, "I should never have
allowed it to get this far. This is my own fault."
"No." I shook my head and moved closer to him, "I wanted to get this far. I was
selfish."
"I was the one who was selfish." His voice was quieter than before as he looked
down at me.
We were standing close; so close that I could easily have pulled his body
against mine. He must have sensed what I was thinking because he continued with
his soft tone, "I wanted you so badly that I did not consider the
repercussions."
I couldn't help but bite my lip as I stared up at his face. Even though he
looked like he hadn't slept or showered for a week, he was still Gerard and he
still looked as hot as he always did, stubble or no stubble.
"I wanted you... I will always want you." My quiet voice matched his and that
was all the incentive he needed.
In a sudden move, his hands moved round until they were on my ass and he pushed
us together and pressed his mouth against mine in an urgent kiss. He had never
kissed me like that before.
I moved my own hands around his neck to hold him there and I could already feel
myself getting hard against him. The last time we had done this had been weeks
ago and I wasn't sure how I had survived.
He ended up moving us until I was backed up against the breakfast bar and
suddenly, in one swift move, he picked me up and placed me on top, not breaking
the kiss once. I ended up breaking it though in surprise to gasp before he was
against me again. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pushed his tongue
into my mouth.
This had suddenly gotten really dirty really quickly. And why would I complain?
We stayed in that position for a while. That was until we started grinding
against each other with a bit of difficulty. In the end, he groaned and I was
in his arms again. The next thing I knew, we we going up the stairs, what the
fuck. Since when was he so strong?
I decided not to focus on the fact that he was carrying me by keeping my eyes
closed and kissing his neck. He had done it to me a lot but I liked doing it
this way around.
There was suddenly something under me, his bed I assumed, and I opened my eyes
to see him staring down at me with diluted pupils. His voice was barely a
whisper, "I will never fail to be stunned by your beauty."
"Fuck-" I choked out before pulling his face down to meet mine again. Kissing
him made me relax and forget about the mess we were in. This was actually
making it worse. How was I supposed to basically blank him for the rest of the
year?
I decided not to fixate on that.
One of his hands appeared on my cheek and his other was on my waist. It was
like he was trying to hold me together. I suppose he didn't want to break me
again.
He moved down to start on my neck and I immediately moaned, feeling his mouth
smile against my skin. There was no doubt about it, he knew what I liked. And I
was more than okay by that.
I fisted his faded Empire Strikes Back t-shirt. He was wearing too many
clothes.
We seemed to be in sync because he pulled it over his head and threw it behind
himself somewhere on the floor. I was already shrugging out of my hoodie and
finding it hard not to moan as he sucked on my neck. Luckily, he stopped and
moved back up to kiss me passionately. My hands were already in his hair.
After a few minutes, he pulled away slightly and breathed over my lips, "My
sweet flower."
He'd never been one for pet names or whatever so that was a little unexpected
on my part. I just shivered slightly underneath him.
He was moving anyway; never pausing for long. He helped me take my t-shirt off
and then started kissing down my chest and torso. He lingered after every kiss
like he was making it last longer.
I didn't feel self-conscious underneath him anymore. He made me feel beautiful
and loved. The end of this relationship was going to kill me.
His hands ghosted over my crotch and I couldn't help but gasp. He was smiling
as he looked up at me. That almost made me gasp again. It was such an
enthralling smile that I couldn't look away. If anything, he was the beautiful
one.
"Everything alright?" His smile shrunk slightly when I had just stared at him
with a partly open mouth.
"I... Yeah." I forced myself out of the daze, remembering where I was. I had
almost forgotten that I was hard. Fuck, you know you're in love when.
He just grinned again before looking back down and undoing my jeans. I lifted
my hips to let him pull them down and then I was just lying in my Wolverine
boxers while he folded my jeans and dropped them onto the floor.
"Why?" I frowned at him.
"I am authorised to be disordered in my own home. But I will not allow you to
develop this habit as well." He smiled, moving back up so he was over me again.
It was a bit too late for that. I didn't say anything though because I was
distracted by his eyes and how intently they were looking at my face. His smile
was still in full bloom as he kissed me once before sitting up on my hips.
The pressure on my crotch was welcome and I stared up at him. He was lazily
stroking himself through his Marvel pyjama bottoms and I almost came just from
the sight. "Gerard-" I wasn't too sure what I was trying to say but that was
enough for him to get off the bed completely and hook his fingers over the top
of my boxers waistband.
"Okay, Frank?" He looked up for confirmation as he always did. He always asked
for consent every time we slept together and it was more endearing than it was
annoying. He knew I was sure but he always checked anyway. That was what made
him so considerate.
I nodded and he smiled in response, pulling my boxers down and dropping them
somewhere next to my jeans. He then leant over me, his smile still gracing his
features, and lightly took my dick in his right hand. I dropped my head back
onto the bed and sighed in content.
The next thing I felt was his tongue on the head and I almost shivered from
ecstasy. Every time, it felt so fucking good. I would never get tired of it.
He sucked me slowly for however long; I had no idea. I just lay back with my
eyes closed and my nails digging into his bed sheet. When he pulled away again,
I looked back up to see that he was taking his pyjama bottoms off and grabbing
the lube from the bedside table.
I had never been a fan of prep but it was worth it.
He pushed my legs up until I was exposed and rubbed one of his fingers around
my asshole. I groaned slightly when he slowly pushed it in and kept it there.
It was still such a strange experience.
Another finger and more lube later, he was fucking me with them and I had my
eyes closed again. My dick lay forgotten and hard and I wanted nothing more
than to touch it. I didn't though; I continued to hold my legs up.
"Please." I sighed when I wanted something more. He didn't waste any time at
all and suddenly, his fingers were gone.
I looked back down to see him rolling a condom onto his dick. I never got tired
of that familiar sight. He moved over me until he was above me again and looked
down at me. "Okay, Frank?"
"Yes, please, fuck." I practically moaned and then he was pushing inside of me.
Fuck.
For a little while he stayed still above me, letting me get used to it. It
wasn't as strange as the first time but I still had to have a second or two to
adjust. When I nodded, he slowly started thrusting in and out. His eyes were on
mine the whole time.
He made it so intimate that every time felt like the first time. I felt so
fucking special.
When he had worked up to a decent speed, I wrapped my arms around his neck and
pulled his face closer. Kissing him was still my favourite thing to do.
Not breaking the kiss, he moved me slightly to get a better angle and I helped
by wrapping my legs around his hips. That caused him to moan in my mouth and in
turn, I moaned as well because he was hitting my prostate.
That was enough incentive for him to thrust faster and we soon had to break the
kiss because we were both panting.
I was aware that my breath was hitching up every time he thrust into me and I
didn't care because it was apparently spurring him on even more. I didn't last
long after that. Mainly because I found my dick between us and stroked it in
time to his thrusts.
I moaned loudly and closed my eyes for about the tenth time. I was in such a
euphoric state that I didn't realise he had pulled out of me until I looked up
again to see him jerking himself off and sighing in relief when he came.
I just watched him in fascination. How was it possible that he was so
attractive all the time?
Finally, he collapsed down next to me, his hand immediately finding mine and
lacing our fingers together. We lay in silence for a little while our breathing
regulated again. I already knew that this was it. That this was the last time
we would ever have sex. I knew it. I could just tell.
"I love you. I love you." His voice was still slightly breathless, "You will
always be my flower, Frank. Please understand."
I turned my head to see him looking at me with a sad smile on his face. I
almost felt like tearing up. "Please don't say that."
"Why ever not?" He turned a little to face me more and stroked my cheek with
his free hand.
"Don't say that I'll always mean something to you no matter what happens. I
don't want things to change." My voice cracked. I was definitely close to
crying.
His expression grew even more sympathetic. "I know you don't." He wrapped his
arms around me and held me close to his chest. "I don't either."
***** Officially Over *****
Waking up next to him a couple of hours later was definitely both gratifying
and sad at the same time. I found myself holding onto his torso a little
tighter just to make the most of it. I didn't want to let go.
It was all too much. I just kept telling myself that it was only a few months;
they would fly by. That was until I realised that I had a whole other year yet
until I actually left school. It didn't mean shit that I'd be eighteen if I was
still at school. Again, I entertained the idea of dropping out but I knew I
wouldn't.
So that meant it was over a year and a half until our relationship would be
accepted and even then, people would probably question how long it had been
going on for. So that meant maybe another year or so of laying low. I was
basically looking to be twenty then. Fuck, this sucked.
One of Gerard's hands moved from my back, into my hair and started fiddling
with it. The change in his breathing told me that he was awake and I almost
pretended I wasn't just so it would last longer.
"Good morning. Wait..." His voice was rough and heavy from sleep, "I do believe
it is in fact, afternoon. My apologies. Good afternoon."
I chuckled lightly. "Afternoon." As soon as I said it, the enormity of
everything hit me and my smile faded. I was glad that he couldn't see my face.
It was silent; as if he was thinking exactly the same thing. As soon as he
spoke agin, I knew he had been. "I suppose... The best scenario now is to move
on... Heaven knows how I will manage it."
I closed my eyes again in anguish and held myself even closer to him. "I hate
this."
"As do I." He sighed, "We both sadly know the repercussions."
Fucking repercussions.
It was time to finally give in and learn to deal with it all. It was time to
stop whining like a bitch and just get on with it. Sure, it was going to hurt
like hell seeing him every day and not being able to do anything about it but
that was how it was.
With this new found resilience in mind, I reluctantly sat up and turned to look
at him. I could tell my face portrayed exactly how I felt and there was no way
I could hide it.
His expression dropped as soon as he saw mine. "Oh, Frank." He sat up and
wrapped his arms around me.
I rested my head against his shoulder and sighed. Fuck it all.
"It will all be middling. My dramatic nature is rubbing off on you." He
chuckled lightly, trying to keep it on a lighter tone.
We sat like that for a short while: his arms around me and my head resting on
his shoulder. I was pretty content just sitting there but I knew that the
longer I did, the harder it would be to go. So I eventually pulled away again
and attempted to smile at him even though it fucking hurt.
"This is the last time we say bye like this, okay?" I decided, "I can't go
through this over and over again."
He was nodding before I'd finished speaking. "But of course. I would hate to
send any anguish your way." He cleared his throat slightly. "Not to mention how
much it pains myself..."
That was enough for me. I got out of the bed and started getting dressed,
trying to distract myself so I couldn't admit that it was actually happening.
I heard him get up as well but I kept my back to him. I was really willing
myself not to cry.
His arms snaked round my waist and that really didn't help. I stopped buttoning
up my jeans and relaxed into his embrace.
"We will see each other every day." He reminded me, his mouth by my ear, "Soon
we will be together again, I promise, my darling."
Fucking hell, he wasn't helping at all. "Gerard..." My voice sounded small and
strange, "I know you mean well but you're making this harder."
His arms dropped from around me. "My apologies."
I turned to face him again. He really looked so forlorn that I felt like
breaking down. "It's fine. You just..." I shook my head with a smile, tears
already blurring my vision. "I fucking love you so much."
He actually looked like he was going to cry as well as he smiled at what I'd
said. For maybe the last time for a while, he cupped my cheek with his right
hand and pressed his lips lightly to mine. When he pulled away again, he
whispered, "I care deeply and love you so very much, Frank. Never forget that."
Fucking end me.
I couldn't hold it in after that. I threw my arms around him and let the tears
flow. I had cried so much lately; I wasn't used to it.
I knew we were dragging this out but I was sure that anyone else would in our
situation. I almost wished this whole thing had never begun just because it
hurt so fucking much. Although, I would take a second with Gerard over that any
day.
When the crying was more or less over, I noticed him wipe his eyes once or
twice as well, I finished getting dressed and he led me downstairs. It occurred
to me as I was walking down that I probably wouldn't see the inside of this
house for a while now. I didn't like that very much.
Gerard was only wearing his pyjama bottoms and having his chest on show wasn't
helping the situation either, for fuck's sake.
We turned to face each other when we made it to the front door.
Gerard laughed nervously. "We are behaving as if we will never encounter one
another again."
I smirked in agreement. "I know... We need to sort our shit out."
"I would not have used those particular words but I do agree." He nodded before
reaching out his arms.
I gratefully accepted the gesture and hugged him back firmly. I was getting
that tight feeling in my chest again and it wasn't welcome. I could tell that
it wasn't going to go anywhere anytime soon.
I knew I could have stayed in that hug forever so it was probably a good thing
when Gerard finally pulled away. I wouldn't have been able to.
He kissed my head and whispered, "Stay on top of your classes and if you ever
need me, you know where I reside."
I nodded, not wanting this to be dragged out any longer because I knew I
wouldn't be able to handle it. "I love you, Gerard Way." I hoped my attempt at
a smile was actually decent.
He smiled a sad smile back. "I love you, Frank Iero."
Hearing the front door slowly shut behind me when I had finally left was the
worst part. I found it hard to resist the urge to turn and look back but I
wasn't going to make it any harder on myself than it had to be. It was already
hard enough.
The walk home actually helped a little. It gave me a chance to think everything
over and at least try to convince myself that it was for the best. I was really
hoping that the person who had been blackmailing Gerard would stop now but I
couldn't be sure. It wasn't like I could ask now either. I was now just his
student again. We were pretending nothing had happened. Well, at school anyway.
I would never forget the months I had spent with that man. They were the best
ones of my entire life and yes, that was cheesy but it was true.
***** Wednesday *****
I woke up to a shitty feeling in my chest and a headache. Just a bit different
to waking up in Gerard's arms feeling an overpowering sense of happiness. I
fucking hated it.
Obviously, I briefly contemplated skipping school but there wasn't any point.
My mom was already sick of my shit and my teachers were at the "if there is
something wrong you need to speak to us" stage. I was really behind on all of
my work. To be perfectly honest, I didn't see myself graduating this year.
The whole "trying not to overly care about Gerard" plan was already going down
the crap hole. He was the first person I thought about when I woke up and yeah,
it was pretty hard to try and think about anything else after that. Especially
when he was the best fucking thing that had ever happened to me.
Blah blah blah, Frank's being soppy. Yeah, okay, I was. Tough shit, really,
because that was how he made me feel.
He made me feel like I was walking on air (cliche) and also like maybe life was
worth living after all. Falling in love during high school had never been apart
of my original plan but I really couldn't see myself any differently now. I was
seventeen years old and I'd experienced a proper relationship with both
physical and emotional aspects. Sure, it was hidden from everyone but that
didn't mean that it didn't matter.
I liked to think that I had made an affect on Gerard's life and I knew that he
cared about me. I just wished things were different.
I wasn't sure or not if I wanted this whole thing changed and so none of it had
happened in the first place just to save all of this heartache. But then again,
I didn't want to change the good moments. There had been so many.
The only thing I could think to do was to get on with life and actually focus
on school so I could leave as soon as possible. Redoing a year was not an
option. I didn't want to add more time onto my sentence.
The walk to school fucking dragged and I was already going back to my life
hating attitude. It was going to be a long couple of years.
By the time I was finally walking through the doors into drama, my eyes
instantly settled on Gerard's desks and on him sat behind it. I instantly felt
better which, in itself, made me feel worse.
He looked a little more presentable. Compared to the day before anyway. He had
finally shaved and showered by the looks of it. He was even wearing a full suit
with a waistcoat and everything like he used to. I was glad that he was
starting to look after himself again.
His chirpy exterior was almost completely back as well and the class had a
better atmosphere because of it. Maybe things were going to be okay. Obviously
not completely but maybe a little better than I had originally thought.
Watching him as he enthusiastically spoke about a play lifted my spirits a lot
and at that moment, I didn't care that the situation was shitty and that I
hated everything. I was just bulled over as usual by how inspiring he was. I
had almost forgotten how much of a good teacher he was. That was what had
started this whole thing in the first place. Why did he have to be so charming?
I half paid attention. I was a bit busy trying to work out how I was supposed
to spend the next year and a half listening to him without getting a stupid
feeling in my chest. I hadn't even thought about where I was supposed to go for
my free lesson now. Fuck, this sucked.
I didn't pack my stuff up slowly or hang around so I was the last one to leave
like usual. I left with some of the first people and Willow smiled at me as I
passed. We hadn't talked properly for weeks, excluding the occasional "how are
you"s. I had obviously had my mind somewhere else and to be honest, she had
been annoying me. She had recently acquired a new boyfriend and it was all she
talked about.
The last time Willow and I had spoke had been two weeks ago when she suggested
to set me up with one of her friends so we could all go on a double date. No
thank you.
So, since then, I admit that I had been avoiding talking to her.
I had already decided that the best thing to do was to keep my head low and
just get on with catching up with work. Friends were a novelty that I didn't
need.
As soon as German had finished, I headed up to the library. Yeah, I know,
strange.
The shit ton of work I had to do was honestly, completely off-putting. There
wasn't much else I could do though. It had been my fault that I hadn't been
focussing or even showing up to lessons.
Halfway through some English work, something caught my attention. I overheard
something happening at the table next to mine.
Some kid had come into the library seconds before and I hadn't really given him
a second glance. That was until I heard him speaking to some of his friends
next to me, "Guys, you gotta come see this."
"What?" Someone had replied.
"I think someone's gonna get arrested. The cops have shown up."
I frowned down at my work but my curiosity got the better of me and I packed up
my stuff before following them down to the campus.
A lot of students were showing up and joining the already growing crowd. I had
to push my way through to see what was happening. Fuck my height. When I
finally made it near to the front, my eyes widened.
The cops were here.
***** Farewell *****
A squad car was parked on the tarmac and two cops were talking to the vice
principle. A couple of teachers were trying to shoo away the students without
much success.
I could feel a cold sweat going down the back of my neck. I was hoping more
than anything that this wasn't what I thought it was. Please, God, no.
Everyone around me was talking loudly about what their theories were and I
blocked it all out, scanning the area around for Gerard. This had to be
something else.
I noticed the vice principle looking around as well and then his eyes stopped
on me. We had been acquainted a few times last year when I had gone through my
detention every week phase.
One of the cops looked at me as well before saying something to the other one.
Shit, no. This wasn't it. It had to be something else.
The teachers had obviously given up on trying to get rid of everyone because
they were just watching like everyone else as the vice principle came over to
me.
My heart was beating loudly in my chest as I stared up at him.
"Frank, I need to talk to you." His expression was unreadable. Although, I
noticed the sympathy in his eyes. Fuck.
All I could think to do was nod before following him over to the squad car. The
whispering behind me got louder and I soon heard my name being passed around. I
knew that everyone was watching me.
"Hello, Son." One of the cops smiled at me when I was stood in front of them,
"I hope you don't mind but we have a few questions for you."
My hand tightened on my bag strap. "About uh... What?"
He shared a look with his partner. "An allegation has been made."
My hands were getting sweaty and my heart was threatening to jump out of my
chest. Fuck fuck fuck.
"Would you like to come down to the station with us?" The other cop asked.
My eyes shifted from him back to the other and then to the vice principle.
"No." My voice was small and shaky.
The cops shared a look again. "Do you know what this is about?" The original
one asked.
Was lying the best option? Fuck, I had no idea what to do. I found myself
shaking my head.
"Is your Drama teacher Mr. Gerard Way?"
I actually felt the blood drain from my face. My mouth was going dry and I had
lost my words. I just nodded.
"Do you know if he's in his classroom right now?"
"I-I don't know. Maybe." Fuck, my voice was shaking like mad.
The other cop suddenly walked off, towards the building Gerard's classroom was
in. Holy shit.
I stared after him until the other cop caught my attention again. "I know this
is hard but I need you to be completely honest with me. Can you do that for me,
Son?"
That was what I was scared of. I couldn't do it.
I found myself starting to walk back, away from the cop.
"Now, now." He put his hands up in innocence, "You're not in any trouble, don't
worry."
I just shook my head, my breathing coming out loud and jittery. "No..."
I stopped when I heard a gasp from some of the students to my right. I turned
my head in the direction to see the other cop coming over again with Gerard in
tow. Gerard's face was blank. How did he do it?
They stopped next to the other cop.
I was shaking my head before I'd even realised I was doing it.
"Frank, it's okay." Gerard said to me.
Fuck you, it was okay! It was no where near okay!
The two cops had turned their attention to him and one of them had a pair of
handcuffs ready.
"Gerard Way, allegations have been made against you in regards to an illegal
relationship with one of your students."
Why was he talking so loud?! Everyone could hear him!
Gerard fucking nodded. "I know." He said and looked at me, "I made them."
It felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. "What?!" I found my voice
again and it was loud, "Why would you do that?!"
One of the cops turned Gerard around and opened the pair of handcuffs.
"Stop it!" Full on tears were falling down my face as I dropped my bag and ran
over to them. Just as I was about to push over the motherfucker, the other cop
grabbed me.
Gerard and the main cop turned again to look at me. Gerard was crying as well.
"It will be okay, Frank." He said to me, "I promise you."
I struggled but the cop's grip was steel. "You can't leave me!"
I heard the click as the handcuffs sealed his wrists and the cop stated,
"Gerard Way, you are under arrest for taking sexual advantage of a minor. You
have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against
you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present during
questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you."
While he recited his lines, I tried my best to get free to no avail. The cop
started leading Gerard over to the car and I started wailing loudly. It
couldn't end like this.
"Frank!" Gerard called over to me as he was being pushed, "I'm sorry!"
"Don't take him!" I was almost having a panic attack; I was finding it hard to
breathe.
"Calm down, Kid." The cop holding me said but I ignored him.
"Stay beautiful, Flower." I heard Gerard say as he was being shoved into the
back of the car, "Flourish for me."
The door shut loudly.
The cop finally let go of me and I fell onto the floor, on my hands and knees.
I didn't give a shit who was watching as I cried on the floor. My life was
fucking over.
"Can you call in his mother?" I heard above me.
"Yes, of course. I'll take him to my office."
"We still need to ask him some questions but maybe when he's calmed down."
"You can't!" I banged my fists against the tarmac, "I love him!"
I felt dizzy and sick and fucking suicidal. This wasn't how things were
supposed to go! We were supposed to wait until we could be together again. Why
had he turned himself in?!
I lifted my head to see the cops climbing into the car and the engine starting.
They couldn't just take him out of my life.
"Come on, Frank." I felt a hand on my arm and looked up to see the vice
principle looking uncomfortable, "Let's get you a hot drink."
I didn't want a motherfucking hot drink! I wanted Gerard.
The car was moving past me and the students closest to the gate moved out of
the way. I watched as the love of my life was driven away from me. This
couldn't be it.
"Your mom will be here soon." I heard behind me as I stared after the car even
though I couldn't see it anymore.
My crying had subsided and the tears were drying onto my cheeks. There was no
coming back from this. There was nothing I could do.
This was it. The end.
What was I supposed to do now?
***** Epilogue *****
"Good evening, America. This morning, a local school teacher from New Jersey
was arrested for engaging in an illegal relationship with a student. Drama
teacher Gerard Way is twenty-three years old and has only been at the school
for six months. The teacher turned himself in and pleaded guilty for having an
inappropriate, sexual relationship with a seventeen year old student. For legal
reasons, the child's family did not want to come forward but we have been told
that the student does not want to testify against Mr Way. The trial will take
place in the next week and it is estimated that the teacher could get prison
time from two years up to ten."
 
*Three years later*
 
I didn't notice the date until halfway through the day. As soon as I saw the
numbers, my heart stopped. He was getting out today.
It had been three years since I had seen Gerard. When he had first been sent
down, I had tried to visit him but he had rejected every one of my visitation
requests. I knew he wanted me to get on with my life. That was easier said than
done.
My mom had wanted me to testify against him and speak in court but there was no
way I was going to do that and I still stood by my decision. She obviously had
been mortified by the whole thing.
Even my dad had threatened to kill him.
When something that big had happened to you, it was a little hard to just
forget about it and move on. I thought about Gerard every day even if it was
just for a minute. Something always reminded me of him; whether it was a
complicated word, a waistcoat or even a pair of Batman boxers.
I could still picture his smile but only just. The mental image I had of him
was slowly fading away and I supposed that I was finally over it all.
I had attempted relationships since but none could compare to my first one.
Although, that was probably the same for everyone. Didn't stop it from feeling
special though.
Over the first year, I was told a number of things: he had taken advantage of
me, I was young and naive, it wasn't real love, he had messed up the rest of my
life. I didn't believe any of it.
My mom had tried to convince me that I hadn't been in love at all and that
Gerard just saw me as some sex toy. It was bullshit and I ignored it all.
If I was being honest with myself, I still wanted answers. I wanted to know why
he had turned himself in. Had the blackmailing gotten out of hand? Funnily
enough, I never found out who had that hold over him. I wanted to know.
Since all of my visitation requests had been denied, I had to wait the full
sentence which was now finally up. Although, I had no way of finding him.
Shortly after he had been sent down, his house had gone up for sale and I
hadn't seen Mikey since.
New Jersey wasn't a massive place but I had no idea where to start. I knew he
wouldn't be teaching again; his teaching license had been taken off him. So
where would he go?
I had put myself in his shoes and I knew that if I were him, I'd go to my mom's
house. Where else could you go really?
So after some digging, I had managed to find the numbers to four Way households
and I was yet to call any of them. What was I supposed to say? "Hello, this is
the boy your son supposedly took sexual advantage of. Is he in?"
I didn't want to talk to him for the first time in years over the phone. I felt
like it needed to be in person so I could finally see him. I could tell that he
wouldn't have coped well. Hell, I didn't and I wasn't the one in prison.
I knew that the best thing to do was to forget about it all and get on with my
life. I needed to pretend that he didn't exist. Although, part of me really
wanted to see him and I felt seventeen again just at the thought.
It was coming up to my twenty-first birthday and it was so surreal to think
that this was the age that I had been looking forward to when it had all
happened. This was the age that I had thought Gerard and I would be reunited
again without anyone frowning at our relationship.
Obviously, Gerard had ruined that chance by turning himself in and I wanted to
know why he had done it. It was easy enough to convince myself that he had
never loved me and that he had been taking advantage of me.
It had never felt that way though. Yes, he was a Drama teacher but it never
felt like he was acting with me. Apart from when he had broken up with me by
the school gates. A lot had happened at that school.
I had tortured myself for months after he had been arrested by replaying that
scene over and over in my head. The last thing he had said to me. The tears
running down both of our faces. Practically the whole school watching. The vice
principle taking me to his office after and breaking the news to my mom.
That day had almost killed me.
I was then on known as the kid who had fucked his teacher. I didn't stick
around to answer the shitton of questions I was sure to have gotten.
It wasn't surprising that my mom took me out of the school and transferred me
to another just for the last year and a half. Well, it ended up being an extra
year on top of that. I obviously failed everything that year. I hadn't even
tried.
After I had finally finished high school, I went to university but dropped out
after half a year. I found it hard to concentrate.
Over the last year, I had been jumping jobs and basically just practising my
guitar a lot. I had come to conclusion that I wanted to make music but I had no
idea where to start.
My mom was nice enough to let me stay for another few years which was good
because I had no idea where to go.
I was currently working in a CD store which wasn't doing too well since
everyone bought their shit online nowadays. I wanted to open a record store
maybe.
I was just coming off of my break when I had noticed the date. A guy who worked
with me, Ray, had asked me what the date was and I had checked my phone and as
soon as I told him, it dawned on me what that day meant.
"Frank? You okay?" Ray waved a hand in front of my face.
"What?" I came back to life, a strange feeling coursing through me, "Yeah, I'm
fine."
The rest of my shift dragged on and I was distracted. I couldn't get it out of
my head. Gerard was out of prison. My Gerard.
Would he want to see me? I knew I shouldn't have but I wanted to see him. It
wasn't going to help with the closure and it would most likely uncover old
wounds.
I needed to speak to him. I needed clarification that it wasn't just about the
sex and that I did mean something to him. I wanted to shove it in everyone's
face who had told me otherwise.
That night, I decided that I was going to do it; I was going to find him and
see him. I couldn't live the rest of my life without knowing everything. I
would regret it otherwise.
The problem was, I had to find out where he was first.
I bit the bullet and called all the numbers that night but only two picked up
and they had no idea who Gerard was. That wasn't enough to throw me off though.
I managed to find Mikey on Facebook and I hadn't originally wanted him to get
involved but desperate times called for desperate measures.
After finding his phone number on his profile, I called it nervously. After
three rings, he picked up.
"Hello?"
I cleared my throat a little. "Is this Mikey?"
"Dude, you called me." I heard the humour in his voice, "Yeah, I'm Mikey."
It occurred to me then that I had no idea what to say. "I'm uh... Looking for
your brother."
It was silent on the other end. I was scared that he was going to hang up but
then he said, "Who is this?"
It was my turn to be silent. What was I supposed to say? This was my last
chance. "It doesn't matter."
"What?" He sounded suspicious, "What do you want with my brother?"
"I need to speak to him. Where is he?" I felt like I was in some strange action
film and that the information was vital.
Mikey was quiet for a moment before saying quietly, "Frank, if that's you, hang
up now."
I felt myself freeze. What could I do now? Just lie? I didn't really have it in
me anymore though. "Please..." I sighed, "I want to speak to him."
"He doesn't want to see you." Mikey's voice sounded flat, "Surely you realised
that when he wouldn't let you visit him."
I felt myself growing frantic. "I know but... I need to talk to him. I can't
just let things end that way. I need to know why."
For a moment, I actually thought that he was considering it. That was until he
said, "It's not a good idea. It's been three years. Just leave it."
"You don't understand! I can't!" My free hand clenched into a fist, "I need
answers! I might go crazy otherwise."
He was silent again until I heard him sigh loudly. "Are you in Jersey still?"
A flicker of hope appeared. "Yeah."
"Meet me at the Starbucks on Bleeker street tomorrow at midday."
What was happening? "Alright then."
Mikey sighed again. "You're a stupid motherfucker." And then he hung up.
I slowly removed my phone away from my ear and dropped it next to me on my bed.
Was I actually going to see Gerard again?
I didn't know Mikey very well but I knew that he was going to try and talk me
out of seeing Gerard. That was what I expected when I made my way to Starbucks
the next day.
He obviously looked older since the last time I had seen him. He had a bit of
stubble on his chin and he must have dyed his hair because it was blonde. It
actually made me feel a little self conscious because we were more or less the
same age and he looked good.
The first thing Mikey said to me surprised me, "I told him you want to see
him."
"You did?" I hadn't expected that at all. I had thought that it would take some
convincing for Mikey to tell Gerard.
Mikey nodded as we sat down across from each other. "He agrees that it's a
dumbass idea."
"He used those words?" I frowned.
Mikey shrugged. "Not exactly. He said something like, 'I do not think that
would be the finest of ideas'. I took that as him agreeing that it was stupid."
I smiled a little. I could almost hear Gerard saying it. "I know it's stupid."
"Then why?" He sighed, "Leave it in the past. It happened. Gerard was a
convicted offender. You do realise that he can't teach again?"
"That's not my fault. He's the one who turned himself in." I held back both the
anger and sadness I felt at that fact. I needed to know why.
"Fucking hell..." Mikey muttered, rubbing his eyes with his fingers.
I waited until he was looking at me again. "I just want to clear the air. This
wasn't hard on just him, you know."
Sympathy flashed in his eyes before he rolled them and said, "I'll see what I
can do. Pretty sure it'll take some convincing though."
"Thank you." I couldn't help but smile. I was one step closer.
Mikey took my number and promised to call me by the end of the week with
Gerard's answer. If I was being honest with myself, I was nervous. I knew
things were completely different now and it wasn't like I was looking to
rekindle our relationship. I believed that I was over him and that I just
wanted answers. I needed clarification on what had happened.
Mikey called me on Friday evening just after I'd gotten home from work. I had
changed clothes and was about to head out again when I heard my phone buzzing
on my bed. I answered it a little apprehensively, "...Hey."
"Right." Mikey sounded serious, "It took a hell of a lot of effort but let's
just say you owe me one."
The nerves came back in full force. "What?"
"You free tomorrow?"
I sat down on the edge of my bed. "Yeah."
"I'm out all morning. Come over at around ten. He'll be here."
Fuck. I was actually going to see him.
I had no idea what to say. "I... Thank you, Mikey!"
"Don't mention it." He sounded a little exasperated, "Just don't upset him,
okay? He's been through a fucking lot. Remember he's only been out a week."
"Of course." I agreed, "Just... Thank you."
He mumbled something before giving me his address and hanging up. I was feeling
incredibly apprehensive.
I already knew that he didn't want to see me and that in itself was a bad sign.
I was hoping that he was just trying to be sensible and that he didn't hate me
or something. Fuck, this was stupid. He had been out a week and I was suddenly
back to feeling like an anxious teenager again.
I decided to forget about it for the rest of the night and yeah, that didn't
work out too well. In the end, I left my friends to it and went back home. I
had too much on my mind and having a good time was apparently not an option.
My head was full of stupid thoughts and it was loud and I didn't sleep very
well. It took me ages to finally drift off and before I knew it, my alarm was
going off at quarter to nine.
I felt so nervous, like I was going to meet a celebrity or something. It wasn't
a celebrity though. It was Gerard.
After a shower and two cups of coffee, I drove to Mikey's flat. It was only ten
minutes away and I wasn't sure if I liked that or not. He was so close.
When I reached the building, I parked outside and stopped for a smoke. I needed
all the courage I could find.
It was stupid how nervous I was. I wasn't a kid anymore and he didn't have a
hold over me with his stupid, fancy words and his perfect smile and his amazing
body. No way.
I dropped the used cigarette onto the ground and stamped it out. It was time to
get some answers.
Mikey's apartment was on the fourth floor and I rode the elevator up with a
sick feeling in my stomach. What was I supposed to say? "Hey, remember me?"
Fucking hell.
I stood outside the front door for a minute or so just trying to figure out
what to say. I checked my appearance on my phone and I felt shitty. My hair was
as messy as always and I felt like I had to look perfect. It was stupid.
In the end, I just got annoyed with myself and ended up knocking without giving
myself permission to. I was getting flashbacks to knocking on his front door
when I had wanted answers years ago. This felt wrong.
Part of me was hoping that he had let himself go or something. I wanted
something to tell me that this was real life and that he had been affected too.
I didn't want him to look perfect because then I'd know that none of it had
meant anything to him. Fucking anxiety.
The door opened.
My eyes widened at the man staring back at me. He looked tired and worn out.
The black dye had grown out of his hair and it was now his natural brown
colour. His eyes lacked their usual spark and he was wearing a plain white t-
shirt with his stupid Marvel pyjama bottoms.
He didn't look much older but he did nonetheless. He was still the same,
weight-wise; at least, he looked it. But just by looking in his eyes, you could
tell that he had been through a lot. He didn't look perfect but then again,
maybe he never had been in the first place.
"I um..." He had to stop and start again, "I hope you do not mind but I have
not primped for your arrival. I had desiderated that you would not show."
Of course: that impressive vocabulary of his. If I was being honest with
myself, I had missed it. I actually found myself using some of the words
sometimes. He was like a walking thesaurus.
"Why?" My voice was small and I just stared at him. He looked so different but
also the same. I wasn't sure what to make of it.
He just sighed and moved so I could go inside. When I was in and I had turned
around, he shut the door and faced me with his arms crossed. "To what do I owe
the pleasure, Frank?"
Seriously? "You're joking, right?"
He frowned and opened his mouth to reply but I continued.
"The last time I saw you, you were taken away in a police car. You had turned
yourself in without even telling me and I still don't know why. Why wouldn't
you let me visit you?"
He looked slightly shocked at my little outburst. "I did not think that it was
deemed necessary."
"Bullshit." I could feel the anger building up, "Didn't I get a say?"
"Frank." He sighed, closing his eyes.
"No."
He opened them again and frowned at me. "What are you yearning for me to
declare?"
"I want to know why!" I demanded, "You walked out of my life without any
explanation."
He looked uncomfortable as he said, "I did not feel as though I was required to
give one."
That hurt. I made an irritated noise. "So the relationship meant nothing to you
then? I meant nothing to you?"
"Frank, I am not reliving this again." He walked across the room.
"What do you mean?" I followed him, "You left me in the dark!"
He suddenly turned on his heel which forced me to stop. His glare was so sharp
that it stopped my thought process altogether.
"Please have some consideration." He whispered through clenched teeth, "Do
remember that I had an arduous choice to select. It was no easier on myself
than it was on you."
His expression was angry but I could see that underneath, his eyes were soft
and that he still cared.
"I just want to know why." My voice had lost some of its edge.
He was silent for a moment as he thought it over. Eventually, he nodded towards
the sofa. "Sit."
I was reluctant but did as he had instructed and sat down. He sat next to me,
leaving a gap between us. For a few seconds, he didn't speak until he sighed
and said quietly, "I loved you dearly."
Hearing that stirred up a feeling that I hadn't felt in a long time. I didn't
need to hear that.
"I had thought that I had calculated what the concept of love was." He
continued, "However, then I met you." He smiled down at the floor and all I
could think to do was watch and listen.
"The months we spent together were the happiest I had endured in a long time.
Believe me when I say that I did care for you and loved you. It wasn't a ploy
to get into your pants."
That made me feel a little better but I was feeling things that I hadn't felt
since I was seventeen and I suddenly felt like crying. Fucking sensor memories.
"I chose to turn myself in for many reasons. Originally, I had not intended to
at all. I was perfectly content with our plan to wait but that was before you
had turned up at my house the day before. Do you remember?"
The day that Gerard hadn't turned up for school so I had skipped the rest of
the day to go and see him. The last time we had had sex.
I nodded.
"You fell into a slumber in my arms like you had copious times before but that
time, I had stayed awake." He told me, "I excogitated everything and I came to
the cessation that I could not live in the charade that nothing had occurred. I
loved you a profusion amount so much so that I could not force you through it
all any longer. It was as if I were ripping off a bandaid."
"But I didn't want you to rip off the bandaid." I muttered, looking down, "I
wanted to keep the bandaid on."
"Which was why I did it." He placed a hand on my shoulder.
I looked at him. He actually did look sorry and my own expression softened.
"I felt as though my morals were too high for me to continue and I would have
felt incredibly guilty if I hadn't have gone forward. It was certainly a snap
decision but I do not regret it."
I took in everything he had said and it was stupid but I understood. It wasn't
as if we had murdered someone but if he felt as though he couldn't have lived
with our secret relationship, then I couldn't blame him for giving up. I just
wished that he had explained it to me at the time and not left me hanging for
years.
"My main motivation was you, Frank."
"What do you mean?" I frowned.
He dropped his hand again. "I wanted for you to have a customary, convivial
life. I did not want to hold you back."
"You never held me back." I shook my head, "You fucking propelled me forwards."
He smiled a small smile. "It is charming that you feel that way."
I shrugged, looking down again. "It's true."
I felt him move closer to me on the sofa but I didn't look up. I wasn't too
sure what to think anymore. Maybe I shouldn't have asked to see him after all.
As if he had read my mind, he asked, "Why did you come here, Frank?"
I shrugged again, my eyes still focussed on the floor. "I wanted answers, I
guess."
"Any other actuation?"
I finally looked up again to see him watching me with a curious expression.
"I wanted to see you." I admitted, "You meant a lot to me. I can't just pretend
that that part of my life hadn't existed. Everyone says I should though." I
sighed and dropped my head into my hands.
I was starting to think that seeing him hadn't actually been the best idea.
This was just opening up old wounds and hurting me. I hadn't thought that it
would affect me that much.
I felt his hand on my back and it started rubbing calming circles. "You are
looking exceptionally well, I must say."
I chuckled lightly and looked up at him. "I am?"
He nodded, a smile gracing his features. "Not that you never looked well. Just
bear in mind how you had looked the last time we had witnessed each other."
Yeah, that was true. I had been having a full-on breakdown the last time we had
seen each other. Not exactly the most attractive I'd ever been.
"You look tired." I decided to play it honest. He probably already knew how
worn out he looked.
He nodded, continuing the rubbing pattern. "Prison was not the kindest."
I sat up again and thought it over. I was a little curious, if I was being
honest. "Um how was it?"
He moved his hand back to his lap with his other one and laced his fingers
together, looking down at them as he did so. "I managed."
I turned slightly so I was facing him more. "Was it tough?"
His frown deepened. "Some of those men ranged from murderers to small
offenders. I was in the latter."
It was my turn to comfort. I placed a hand on his arm and squeezed it gently.
"I wish you hadn't had to go through that."
He looked up and nodded. "What is done is done. I do not wish to speak of it
again."
That was fair. To avoid the unsettling silence, I changed topics. But maybe I
hadn't chosen a safer one. "Have you seen Bandit yet?"
He immediately dropped his gaze again and managed to move his arm out of my
comforting grip. "You remember my daughter's name."
"Of course I do." I frowned, "I didn't cut you out of my life, Gerard."
That made him look up again. His expression was cautious as he said, "Her
mother has full custody. I have not seen her for as long as I have not seen
you."
That fact hurt me so I had no idea how he was doing with it all. "She won't let
you see her?"
He shook his head. "I have no visitation access."
I knew what that felt like. "What are you gonna do?" I still had no idea when
it came to kids and ex fiancés. I had grown up a little but I was still pretty
young.
"The painful aspect is," He suddenly stood up and paced across the room, "Mikey
and my mother are allowed to see her. My daughter. Whom I have not seen in
three fucking years!"
He stopped in the middle of the room and covered his face with his hands.
Before I knew it; I was up and in front of him, wrapping my arms around him.
All I could hear was his shallow breathing until he whispered out, "Leaving her
was the most formidable thing I have ever had to do."
"I know, I'm sorry."
Here was me demanding answers when he was going through emotional trauma. I was
great at being a stupid motherfucker.
After a few moments, I felt his arms moving to settle around me in a proper
embrace. It almost felt like those butterflies in my stomach were waking up but
that couldn't be right. I didn't love him anymore. That time in my life was
over.
We stood like that for a short while. In some ways, it was comforting both of
us at the same time. I had missed his hugs.
Eventually, he pulled away so I did as well. The expression on his face was one
of curiosity. "How have you been?" He asked.
I shrugged slightly. "It was hard at first."
He nodded slowly. "It was the same for me."
Before I could stop myself, I was suddenly throwing my arms around him again
and mumbling, "I thought you hated me."
He made a surprised noise at my sudden movement before putting his arms around
me. "Never."
This was definitely breaching upon dangerous territory. I needed to back off
and leave and just forget about him.
I couldn't though.
"How did your mother react?" His voice was quiet and hushed and right by my
ear.
"Let's just say that if she knew I was here, she would come and get me and
probably smack you in the mouth."
"I would not blame her."
It was when he started stroking my back that I came to my senses and abruptly
moved away.
Gerard frowned at my sudden movement. "What is wrong?"
I shook my head, moving slowly backwards. "This is fucked up."
Before he could say anything, I carried on, "I'm not a kid anymore. I don't
need this. You left me."
"I had never intended to, Frank." The sympathetic look on his face said it all.
I fell down onto the sofa again and I felt the overwhelming sensation to cry.
This was so fucking ridiculous. I had thought that I was over it all and that
he didn't have a hold over me anymore. It appeared that I was wrong.
"Frank, what is it?" He dropped down in front of me, placing a hand on my knee.
I stared into his worried face and thought over how much I had loved him; how
much I had cared about him. It felt like an age ago now. Everything had changed
and yet nothing had.
"I'm just being stupid." I averted my gaze, settling it on the arm of the sofa.
I was seriously considering leaving. What else was I supposed to do? I was
going to eventually leave anyway. And then what? Pretend nothing had happened?
I hadn't really thought this through.
"You did as I requested. You have no idea how much that makes my heart sing."
"What?" I looked at him again.
A small smile spread across his face. "You flourished."
I felt some sort of pain rush through me.
'Stay beautiful, Flower. Flourish for me.'
"Stop!" I dropped my head into my hands. It was all too much.
"I'm sorry." His hand disappeared from my knee.
I tried to steady my breathing and I willed my eyes not to well up. I needed to
get myself together and leave for my own sanity. I slowly looked up again.
He was sat back on his ankles and watching me carefully.
"I should probably go." My voice was quiet and shook slightly, "This was a bad
idea."
His expression faltered but before I could see if it actually was
disappointment he was showing, he stood up and said, "Probably for the best."
I stood up as well and went over to the door. Before I opened it, I looked back
at him. He was watching me still with a blank expression. I really wanted to
know what he was thinking. "A penny for your thoughts?" Fuck, I was even
starting to sound like him.
A small smile hinted on his lips. "I had promised myself that I would never see
you again."
I wasn't sure if that hurt my feelings or not. Was that his weird way of trying
to spare my feelings?
"What do you mean?" I asked.
He moved a little closer to me. "When I had made the decision to turn myself
in, I had promised myself that I would not subject you to my existence again."
"So why did you let me see you today?"
He shrugged a little. "Mikey informed me that you were desperate to see me. I
never wanted to disappoint you. I was not about to start now."
I couldn't help but smile after hearing that. He was still the sweetest
motherfucker I knew. "So what now?"
"I do not believe that I follow." He frowned and stopped in front of me.
"You know," I made some gesture with my hand, "Do we just say bye and move on?"
He looked as though he was considering it but then he did that stupid thing I
had always hated. "What would you prefer?"
I wanted to know what he thought, goddammit. Why did he always do that? I
rolled my eyes. "I was the one asking."
He chuckled in response. "You were indeed."
"So?" This was almost painful.
He didn't reply straight away. Instead, he just stared back at me with a
thoughtful expression. At that moment, I really wished that I had the power to
read minds. I was never going to find out how his brain worked.
"I suppose it would be best to move on, yes." He eventually said.
Why the fuck did hearing that make my heart sink slightly? I wasn't supposed to
care. That was what I wanted. Supposedly.
"Yeah. Right." I agreed. Although, my voice sounded strange. "I should probably
go then."
"That would be the most sensible option." He agreed.
"Right." I repeated, not moving.
That was the part where I was supposed to turn and walk out. However, my feet
didn't seem to want to move. I stayed glued to the spot, looking at him. I was
feeling the overwhelming sensation to reach out and grab him. I didn't want to
know why.
As the seconds ticked by, his face broke out into a smile. It must have been
clear to him that I was conflicted.
"Moving on is the most commonsensical choice." His voice was quiet again,
"However..."
My eyes widened slightly at his implication. Was he saying what I thought he
was saying?
He took a deep breath before finishing, "However, who is sensible nowadays?"
That was all the incentive I needed.
In the next moment, I had thrown my arms around his neck and pressed my mouth
against his in a desperate kiss. It had been so long but it still felt the
same. It felt right.
His arms were around my waist in an instant and he kissed me back roughly. I
had missed this.
We stood, kissing frantically for I don't know how long in front of the door
until he started pulling me towards the sofa. We broke the kiss so he could sit
down and I immediately sat on his lap, my legs wrapping around his torso. And
so, the kissing continued.
After a short while, he broke it again to rest his forehead against mine and so
we could both breathe together.
"Is it stupid that I still love you?" I found myself saying, "Even after
everything that's happened?" I opened my eyes to see his were open too.
"It is not stupid. For I will always love you, my flower."
I made a ridiculously high noise before wrapping my arms around his neck again
and burying my head against his shoulder.
I had asked to see him with the objective of finding out the answers to
questions from years ago. Falling back into old habits hadn't been apart of the
plan. That didn't mean that it wasn't bad though.
I felt safe in his arms and I didn't want him to ever let go again. I had
barely made it through alive last time. This had to be for life now. At least,
that was what I was hoping.
In the silence, I thought over everything he had told me and I was reminded of
something. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course." He sounded so relaxed. It made me feel even happier.
"Who was blackmailing you?"
He didn't answer immediately which was understandable really. The whole thing
had really stressed him out when it had been happening.
"I never found out." He finally said, "Could have been a member of staff or a
fellow student. All I know is that it was a male."
"Didn't you want to know?" I asked.
He made a vaguely interested noise. "At the time, yes. Very much so, in fact.
However, now, I do not think that I will ever find out. I feel as though I can
live with that."
"I don't think I could." I told him, "I would want to know."
"There is no point in dwelling on the past. We must look to the future."
I sat up again and looked at him, "Am I in your future?"
His smile widened. "Only if I am in yours."
I grinned and cuddled him again. I had forgotten how happy he made me. "I
promise I'll help you get your daughter back."
"Thank you, Frank." He squeezed me tighter, "Just promise me that you will
continue to flourish for me."
"I'd do anything for you."
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!