Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8149573.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      방탄소년단_|_Bangtan_Boys_|_BTS
  Relationship:
      Jeon_Jungkook/Kim_Taehyung_|_V, Kim_Namjoon_|_Rap_Monster/Kim_Seokjin_|
      Jin, Jung_Hoseok_|_J-Hope/Park_Jimin
  Character:
      Jeon_Jungkook, Kim_Taehyung, Park_Jimin, Min_Yoongi, Kim_Seokjin, Kim
      Namjoon, Jung_Hoseok
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Underage_Sex, Underage_Drinking,
      bratty!Jungkook, hooker!Taehyung, Top!Jungkook, Bottom!Taehyung, love-
      hate_relationship, Mutual_Pining, Angst_with_a_Happy_Ending, Fluff,
      tattoo_artist!Yoongi, club_DJ!rapmon, personal_assistant!seokjin, street
      dancer!hoseok, club_worker!jimin, Emotional_Hurt/Comfort, platonic!taegi,
      platonic!vmin, platonic!jinkook, Eventual_Smut, Implied_homophobia
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-09-27 Updated: 2018-01-21 Chapters: 14/16 Words: 213116
****** More than Innocent ******
by reddishDaisy_95
Summary
     Seventeen, a bad decision and a chest voids of well-functioning
     heart: Jeon Jeongguk is just a kid trying to solve the puzzles he
     can’t put together that is Kim Taehyung.
     “I remember the time I first hated you, but I can’t remember the time
     I started loving you.”
     “Why?”
     “Because I love you every time.”
Notes
     Story mostly inspired from this.
     -17 in Korea = 16 internationally, so Jungkook will be a first year
     junior.
     -19 in Korea = 18 internationally, so Tae will be his third year
     senior.
     -They're fetus in term of age, but their physical representation is
     mostly like this and this.So do expand your imagination.
     -Do heed the tags, I'm serious about them.
     -If you're not into a wild, fucked-up story of underage teenagers,
     then please kindly leave this mess.
     -I wrote this while I was sleepy and I slept only to dream of this.
     So here it is.
     -Don't expect much. It's been 4 000 000 years since I wrote anything
     so mistakes are my best friends.
     -Enjoy?
***** More than a Blurry Picture *****
“This boy? He does almost all types of work in our club. Monday to Wednesday;
he’s our dancer, driving the whole place wild with his hip thrust and pole
dance—some of the bastards even masturbated just by watching him.” He still
remembers the suggestive, dark chuckle following after the statements informed
by one of the club’s DJs, Rapmon, after he’d bribed him into giving him some
information about a blurry picture of a young lad, taken just in front of his
father’s penthouse fortnight prior. Jeongguk swears, if it wasn’t for his dear
mother, he wouldn’t even think to waste a dollar on the heavily-pierced, dark-
skinned DJ in trade of some shitty, uncertain details about a mere boy, let
alone to waste his time standing outside of the said club, clad in suit and
tie, hopefully to look adult enough to be granted the entrance for his plan to
work.
It’s hard, when you’re only 17 trying to maneuver your way into a high class
night club, all elite and private, with only a fake ID in the pocket. Jeongguk
prays the front guards have enough eyes for Yugyeom’s father’s black limousine
to prove the point that somehow, they indeed, are wealth enough to have fun in
here.    
“On Thursday and Sunday, he’ll take up some shifts as the bartender or our
part-time DJ or, if he’s in a good mood, he’ll even sing for us. You should
really come on the nights he’s singing, that deep voice is to die for!”
To be quite honest, Jeongguk isn’t all too bothered to find out whether the
boy’s singing is worth a listen or not. All he cares—wishes for—is to
immediately meet him face to face and maybe…strangle the dude to death. He’ll
see about it. He doesn’t want to ruin the thrill so early, does he?
“Then how about on Friday and Saturday?” He recalls asking further. He wants to
have a concrete plan for this so he needs deep detailing.
“Ah, Saturday’s his day off while Friday…,” Jeongguk knew something was wrong
the moment Rapmon paused talking. Friday was the day he captured the blurry
picture too, just like the other Fridays he started noticing this mysterious
boy came in and out like a routine from his father’s place. Jeongguk hates to
think of it, it makes his heart boil and the desire to destroy him becomes all
that stronger. He took a deep breath to listen again, “he’s still around the
club, but for a whole lot different kind of job. It’s the only night of the
week he does something more personal.”
Jeongguk can’t help the smirk appearing on his face. His stupid, stupid father.
He seriously thinks he can fool Jeongguk and his mother around huh?
Jeongguk will make sure that old man will think and pay twice about it.
“So it’s the best to meet him on those nights, right? Because I won’t be
sharing him with the crowd.”
It’ll be easier to catch them too.
“Yeah, well…only if you book him for the night.”
“Book? Explain.”
Jeongguk already gets the answer. A very tiny part of him just hopes he’s
wrong.
“Friday-nights are his regular night to leave with customers. You know, for
paid-service and stuff. Usually he’ll stay in the club till midnight before
they come and pick him up so make sure you come earlier if you wanna catch a
glimpse of him on those nights.”
Jeongguk guesses he’s just about to hit jackpot because it’s Friday tonight and
his dickhead of a father, just contacted his mother an hour before to cancel
their family gathering yet again, under the same old, repetitive reason of
being a super busy doctor with multiple midnight shifts. A load of bullshit.
If only his father could be a bit clever, he should’ve known better to give his
mother a variation of better and fresh excuses for the sake of covering his
lies. Yet that’s Dr. Jeon—brainy and idiot all the same, Jeongguk muses as he
steps nearer to the glimmering entrance with Yugyeom gaping over everything
behind him.
“The fastest way to spot him is around the VIP section, because that’s what his
customers are—rich, VIP assholes,” those are exactly the adjectives to describe
Dr. Jeon. Jeongguk isn’t very sure anymore of what fault he did in his previous
life to be casted the bad luck of being born as his son now. “But I’m sure you
won’t have problem picking him out. Just ask around for V, everyone in the club
will know him.”
Clearing his throat, Jeongguk flashes his ID to the inspecting guard before
quickly wanting to retrieve it but Big Guy in front of him is fast enough to
catch his elbow. Jeongguk hisses and he can hear Yugyeom’s audible gulp right
behind him. Stupid Yugyeom! Don’t blow up the cover!
“First timer or club member, sir?” Big Guy surely has grumpy, threatening voice
to make Jeongguk almost piss in his pants but he keeps it steady by cocking up
an eyebrow. People don’t call him ‘A+ Eyebrow Gamer’ for nothing after all.
“Why? Do I look that cheap for you to doubt my qualification to enter this
place?”
“V?”
Big Guy does lose a bit of the tightness in his face at this and Jeongguk
prides himself for the smugly confident tone he’s using on him. Even if he
might die here tonight, he must make it inside by crook or by hook. He has to,
he has a V to meet and greet.
“I apologize, sir. It’s not what I meant. Just wanna check; if you’re a member,
can you show us your membership pass?” Shit. That bastard Rapmon didn’t mention
anything about membership card or something! Yugyeom has started to shiver from
the corner of his eyes but Jeongguk internally curses and subtly elbows him to
chill the fuck out. He lets out a tired, impatient sigh towards the guard.
“Look, have you seen my face before? No? That obviously means I’m new here.
Then what? You wanna promote the club’s premiere membership? I’ll consider that
shit later if you let me enter and rate the fun if it’s worth enough to become
a member. Deal?” Big Guy exchanges glances with his fellow guard, considering
the matter while Jeongguk shoves his hand into his pocket and leans backward a
little when Yugyeom tugs on his sleeve.
“Guk-ah, I think it’s better if we—”
“I think you better shut up,” the so easily intimidated Yugyeom snaps at the
warning laced in Jeongguk’s face and all he can do is to press his mouth tight
and keep his gaze low on the ground. For fuck’s sake, at times like this,
Jeongguk forgets why he keeps Yugyeom around as his best friend. Lucky that the
cowardice boy has his father’s limousine for Jeongguk to appreciate their
friendship at the moment for helping as if they had an expensive sweet ride to
be here—even though it’s not that working to their advantage apparently.
Jeongguk shoots Big Guy another glare when he turns back to him.
“Sorry again, sir. If that’s the case, can we see your ID once more?”
Jeongguk truly loses his patience now, clutching and unclutching his fists.
“God help me, what is your fucking problem huh?! You motherfucker prick—”
“Jeongguk!” Yugyeom calls to calm him down just at the same moment with
someone’s “what’s going on here?”
The argument stops for the small crowd to turn looking at a lad when he asks
while walking out from the glassy doors behind the guards. He pauses in between
Big Guy and Jeongguk, judging the two hard even when he’s the smallest and
shortest one compared to them. Dark raven hair, smoky eyes with cherry red tank
top to show off his bulky biceps and a pair of tight leather jeans that leaves
nothing to the imagination—this guy looks too delicious to be one of the
desperate, sex-deprived assholes. Instead, he’s so close to appear like the one
who will relieve their neediness in this opulent pleasure pit because from head
to toe, he screams exactly that—high class hotness.
Jeongguk tries not to be distracted from the thought of what else he will find
later on in this place.
The newly appeared guy tilts his head to Big Guy, silently asking for
explanation but all the guard does is to lower his gaze from him and answer
with voice carrying a lot more respect than the one he used upon Jeongguk.
“These gentlemen are just entering but I’m doing my duty, making sure that
they’re legal enough.”
The guy—his superior, maybe, glances around to study Jeongguk and Yugyeom one
last time before he turns sighing to the guard and waves his hand, “let them
in. I know them.”
Jeongguk narrows his eyes to him while Yugyeom again, doing what he’s been
doing since he stepped out here, gapes with mouth wide open on that hot
superior. One nonchalant look is thrown to them over his shoulders, he then
pushes his chin towards the glassy entrance.
“Shall we start with our fun inside? I’ve been waiting for you two all night
after all.”
Not to ruin this chance, Jeongguk flatly nods and tails after the guy with
Yugyeom still looking like he’s trudging in a real Wonderland next to him. Just
like any other clubs, it’s beginning to grow darker and noisier inside as they
take the path further into the main bar area with only shining and blinking
disco balls illuminating their way. Jeongguk notices how Yugyeom tries his hard
to adjust to the darkness but he doesn’t want his plan to further being
interrupted by the guy leading them inside so he reaches forward and stops him
by the shoulder. The guy throws him a questioning look while Jeongguk raises
his voice over the booming music, doesn’t want to repeat himself in case the
guy doesn’t hear him.
“I don’t wanna know why you helped us but thanks! Let us go catch our fun
separately!” Jeongguk steps aside with Yugyeom but the latter gives him a grin
big enough to transform his eyes into crescents that causes them to pause in
deeper confusion.
“No biggie. This club welcomes money from everyone even if it’s from underage
dicks,” his tone is playful, nothing shows that he will reveal their illegality
anytime soon but Jeongguk can’t help clearing his throat and adjusting his tie
just to refine his ‘adult’ image. Yugyeom is already too focused lolling his
head to the catchy melody in the air to share the same consciousness with
Jeongguk, that fucker.
“Well, yeah. I—”
In the midst of this tight crowd, with bodies grinding and attaching close to
each other, surely you can’t help it from accidently stumble into one another.
The guy before Jeongguk, however, still yelps out a ‘Yah!’ when someone walks
through behind him and bumps into his back, causing him to stumble into
Jeongguk and have to be supported by the shoulders to prevent him from falling
to the floor. The guy clicks his tongue all the way he’s snapping around to
check out the person who has crashed into him without apology.
“Hey, you! What did I say about watching your steps, huh V?”
Jeongguk’s eyes widen to the highest possible degree, pivoting his head around
and landing his sight upon that person who’s being yelled at.
“V?”
“Yeah, V—cute by the day, hot by the night. Part time handsome, part time sexy
and full time wanted.” Rapmon’s voice rings loud and clear in his ears.
That very person, V, reveals only his side profile to them but Jeongguk can
already feel how his sharp jawline, his sharp stare and definitely his sharpest
smirk are able to render him speechless and boneless on his spot.
Hot by the night; his entire black and tight and holey outfit wrapped around
his tall but lithe frame already speaks so much about that statement. This V
absolutely represents a tiny, dangerous flame, setting this messy dark club on
fire just by his mere presence there. Jeongguk can feel his burn, even by the
first glance.
Part time handsome; Jeongguk must say, only a blind person will admit V’s a
part-timer in conquering his handsomeness, because no. He’s not just handsome,
he’s lethally gorgeous. Big expressive eyes, prominent nose, pink wet lips
shaped into inviting smirk, hair that seemingly dark but must be soft from the
way it shines under the lights (because Jeongguk can’t quite make it out amidst
this dimness) and all of that face instantly cause Jeongguk to understand why
his father wills to give a thousand lies just to steal times with this V.
Part time sexy; oh God, yeah. He is so very much sexy even when all he does is
standing there because the moment he opens his mouth to speak, Jeongguk is a
goner.
“You know I’ll never listen to whatever you say, Chim. It’s not my fault you
were born short and happened to be difficult to notice in the dark.” His voice,
his deep timbre. Rapmon was not joking and Jeongguk curses all the deity above
as he slowly gulps.
“You little shit—”
Full time wanted; Jeongguk doesn’t need further proof to make clear of it
because as he watches V blow a flirty kiss to the guy next to him, Chim, as a
way to cut him off, he takes notice how the crowd nearby them already fall mute
as all eyes focus on that one strong center of attraction, V. Prying eyes,
heavy lust, you name it—V receives all this kind of stares the whole way he’s
turning away to leave them. Chim doesn’t follow him, just let it go with a
‘Brat!’ under his breath.    
“Besides…,”Jeongguk is unable to take his eyes off the back of V even while
he’s recalling Rapmon’s statement in his head. “It’s not every day that you’ll
see a living Sex God walking around. You won’t even want to miss him.”
It’s true. Now that Jeongguk has seen him with his two real eyes, he swears he
won’t let him go.
V’s disappearing into a path with the label VIP above the arch door, and
Jeongguk immediately straightens his posture. That’s where he’ll proceed with
his plan now.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
It’s not yet midnight, which means Jeongguk still has some time before
someone—whom he hopes isn’t the person Jeongguk predicts will be—appears to
fetch this beautiful lad away from the club and into their private pleasure. He
hasn’t even yet talking to him but Jeongguk can’t stop himself from admitting
the truth.
V is handsomely beautiful, and there’s no use denying that—with or without the
fact that he might be the same person who’s currently ruining the life of
someone so precious to Jeongguk, his mother.
Not to let that thought consume his brain with all the ugly monsters called
anger, Jeongguk arranges his steps light but firm with confidence towards his
only target that is in the middle of sitting on a stool and fingering a piece
of napkin atop the bar, eyes clearly staring but miles away from focusing on
that cloth. V seriously doesn’t know what he’s doing to the people around him
by looking at his void, plain expression even when those VIPs are eagling and
hawking his entire being through the way his slim torso leans on the bar side,
to the peeks of delicate skin shining and tempting through all the wrong holes
on his shirt. And let’s not start with his clavicles, exposed from the sinful
way the collar has slipped down his shoulder and doesn’t seem to bother V that
much for him to readjust it back.
Jeongguk stops right next to him, hands coolly in pockets and a smirk ready to
murder hearts, he will be damned if he isn’t going to have so much fun with
this angel tonight.  
“Mind if I join you, pretty?”
People say he has a special voice, the kind that can make souls go weak and
spines shiver if he’s speaking it with the right tone and huskiness. And
Jeongguk knows he has nailed his intention of sounding sultry when V looks up
and instantly matches his smirk with a sensual curve of his own lips. Those
lips; Jeongguk wonders what kind of mess they might capable to bring.
V gives the empty stool beside him a nod. “Help yourself.”
God, his deep baritone is even better within this proximity.
Jeongguk is all too eager to slip his body on it before turning to scan their
surrounding for one quick glimpse. He’s supporting his chin on his elbow to
stare at V the same time the beautiful creature locks his gaze on him with a
playful tilt of his head. For a moment, Jeongguk is too unsure to do anything
but stare.
Blame the angel, he’s a sight. “Alone?”
Stupid question, but it’s only polite to ask. V doesn’t break the silent game
of their staring but responding again with a nod.
“Yeah, I’m just waiting for someone.”
Jeongguk pushes his tongue against his inner cheek, hating the idea that they
might truly be waiting for the same person to arrive but he’s not going to ruin
the mood. Plan is still on board after all.
Jeongguk offers instead, “then how about a drink while you’re waiting? I can
buy you one if you allow me to.”
Silent, saves for the moment used by V to read him with his intrusive, but
amused gaze before he lightly shrugs. “Sure, why not?”
The bartender appears to serve them right after a click of Jeongguk’s fingers
but just as Jeongguk is about to settle with his regular order, the same type
as he usually drinks in any other clubs, he remembers to make this game even
more interesting by poising another question to V.
“What’s your favorite, pretty?” Flirty gentleman is always a bonus and V
understands it all too well when he breaks into a small (but still insanely
attractive) grin before leaning closer to let his elbow bumps with Jeongguk’s
in feathery touch.
“Surprise me with your choice, handsome,” comes his whisper and Jeongguk smiles
back. Two can play this game, of course.
V doesn’t even mind to ask Jeongguk for its name as he just accepts the
purplish blue drink served in a flute with a mini umbrella attached to the rim
of it. Jeongguk watches while V’s long fingers toy a bit with a straw
compliments to it before he pulls it to his lips and sucks in the drink. What
the actual fuck—
V’s short chuckle stops all the unnecessary pictures Jeongguk has in his mind.
His eyes fly up to his face while V nods impressively upon his drink.
He flashes Jeongguk a gaze full of mirth, unknowingly inviting a wild butterfly
to flutter somewhere deep in Jeongguk’s stomach. “For an underage kid, I must
say you’re quite an expert with liquor, handsome.”
His comment is innocent enough, but Jeongguk can’t help furrowing his brows.
“Wait, what are you—”
“Don’t have to act surprised,” V further chuckling to him, making a show of
humming with satisfaction around his straw as he enjoys his free drink. He then
shrugs, “only stupid Jimin will bring kiddos inside here. He’s unsurprisingly
soft and has all the strong kink for babies.”
Jeongguk’s mind automatically travels back to a few minutes earlier when V
first bumped with his savior of the day, Chim—or in this case, Jimin as a
proper name. He’s not sure if Yugyeom and him still look like an open book even
as they have chosen the most professional-looking suits to boost their
‘maturity’ for the night or this V just happens to have supersonic hearing or
knows Jimin too much to acknowledge his antics.
Jeongguk straightens on his seat, doesn’t want to seem threatened even after V
has correctly guessed who he is in a way.
“I am not a baby.” He states, suppressing a sulky pout even when he grumbles
like one.
This somehow invites V to laugh all that louder, causing Jeongguk to feel both
confusedly happy and oddly angry because 1) V’s laugh sounds like music with
one million dollar-worth of copyright and 2) he isn’t supposed to laugh at
Jeongguk’s age, it’s rude.
V finally settles back after Jeongguk’s subtle of ‘shut up’ and the need to get
the air regulate back into his lungs as he eyes the 17 year old boy, gaze too
close to something fond between strangers like them. Yet it lasts only for two
seconds before V bares a secretive grin and shoots up a challenging eyebrow.
“Oh yeah? Then are you a daddy, handsome?”
Jeongguk breathes in sharply. This naughty angle shouldn’t be allowed to say
something like that again. Jeongguk is going to die even before his plan works.
He forces the rising bile all the way down his throat as he daringly enters V’s
personal space, speaking an inch away from his lips, breath mingling and eyes
firmly locking. Jeongguk hates it that V doesn’t waver, doesn’t even flinch.
“Guess you’ll never find out, pretty. Since you already waiting for someone.”
The only thing he does after another five seconds of staring is sighing in
exaggerated disappointment.
“You’re right,” but he still doesn’t lean away. Still too close. He should be
closer, Jeongguk deduces.
He’s too busy staring at those wet lips that Jeongguk almost misses it when V
speaks again, whispering hush and low this time. “But I’ll also have plenty of
time, especially for someone deadly handsome.” Jeongguk’s gaze climbs up to
lock with his eyes, clearly seeing a pair of dark brown irises and long lashes
now. This dude is not real.
Jeongguk wordlessly challenges him with heavy stare but V’s eyes are
heavier—both for Jeongguk’s clouded mind and heart. He answers with “I’m
flattered, pretty.”
And all that happens after is snapping them both like the first thunder strike
during heavy storm, overwhelming and insufficient all simultaneously when
Jeongguk’s lips meet V’s while his hands cradle the back of V’s neck and V
snakes his arms firm around his biceps. Jeongguk cares no longer about their
surroundings, VIPs and workers be damned as he bites straight to the plush
bottom lip of V and forces him to open wide for him to dive his tongue inside
and satisfy his thirst from the very first moment he set eyes on this sinful
creature.
Jeongguk kisses and kisses while V sucks and bites with the same urgency into
his mouth, all teeth and tongues and small moans blend into one mess of their
first make out session.
Damn you, V; for doing this to his mother.
Damn you, V; for captivating him with his kisses so easily even when Jeongguk
supposes to have plan.
And damn you, V; because he’s supposed to bury him down the Hell with his own
father.
His father. Yeah, that old useless man. Jeongguk hopes he shows up now and sees
this. Sees that Jeongguk has got his pretty little slut in his arms, on his
tongue.
But just as Jeongguk is about to pull the other lad into his lap, wanting to
deeper their already messy lips-locking and pushing away the disturbing
thoughts about his father, V’s phone rings aloud between them and he has to
slightly pull on Jeongguk’s thick locks to make him stop ravishing his lips.
Jeongguk lets go of him, but not before tugging at his liquid-honey bottom lip
until V whimpers a bit and watching it spring free from his teeth with
satisfaction. He plants a smug smirk against the lad’s chin as he motions for V
to pick the call up. There’s a click of tongue from him, yet he obligates
without pushing Jeongguk away.
“Speaking,” Jeongguk knows he’s trying so hard to keep his voice even as he
naughtily litters quick butterfly kisses all along the sharp jaw and down to
his smooth neck.
“Ye—yeah…I’m at the usual place but I can meet you outside if—” Jeongguk can
feel V swallow when his Adam’s apple bobs against his lips when Jeongguk
presses there, inhaling all too deeply and happily when V tilts his head back
for easier access.
God, he smells so good. Jeongguk rubs his nose like an addicted drunkard on the
skin, eyes slipping shut. God, I want him.
“—if you want me to. We can leave faster.” Jeongguk snaps back to reality upon
hearing this.
It must be midnight. Time for V to leave. Time for Jeongguk to confirm the
truth.
He leans away from V, releasing his grip on him all at once as V steals a
glance up to him, seemingly trying hard to breathe normally again before he
bids a quick goodbye to the caller (Please tell him it’s not his father. Please
don’t be Dr. Jeon. Jeongguk is going to hate all of this) and keeps his phone
away.
The smile V gives him afterward is so secretive and poisonous. Jeongguk hates
him.
“Time’s up, handsome. My ride is here,” he announces it as if Jeongguk is too
stupid to understand the situation. The younger looks away while V finishes the
last seep of his drink before he wipes his mouth with the napkin he played with
earlier and adjusts his hair that’s been messed by Jeongguk’s hungry fingers.
Jeongguk doesn’t know what to say. He has never been good with farewell,
momentary or forever, so he says instead what he knows will happen.
“I will see you again.”
V chuckles just when Jeongguk decides to redirect his eyes on him and
regretfully has to see his beautiful grin, stretching wide like a box
resemblance. It’s cute and it’s unfair.
“Don’t be so confident. I don’t take underage cock to bounce on even if you pay
me better.” V reminds him as he slips down the stool with red swollen lips and
suggestive arched eyebrows. Jeongguk releases a matching chuckle, joining back
into their push-and-pull game.
“Alright, pretty. I’ll take that as a challenge to change your mind.” Because
Jeongguk is competitive if anything, and loses is not something he does.
“Deal.” V leans forward, kissing him one more time before he whispers the next
words against his lips, “though I must admit, you kissed like a daddy,
handsome. It’s a shame your dick is too young for my ass.”
Jeongguk tries hard not to shiver at his vulgar statements. Another peck is
stolen from him before he watches V turn his back on him and leaves the VIP
section as if he didn’t just make Jeongguk’s heart ache both from his family
matter and the passionate kisses they shared.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
Jeongguk never likes hospital.
The sterilized scent engulfing the air, the plain whiteness wrapping everything
like a huge deathbed and the suffocating silence are all that Jeongguk hates
about this place. To him, there are so many pretenses being held in here.
People want to scream, but they’re asked to keep quiet to respect the patients.
People want to cry, but it’s not good to create drama in a place so public. And
of course, the saddest fact about hospital is that people want to survive,
that’s why they’re here seeking for doctors and treatments, but life is simply
just unfair. Because despite the medicines, surgeries and high-tech machines,
nothing can stop death from taking anyone away with it. People want to survive
their disease in here, but no one has ever survived death.
And that’s what scared Jeongguk the most. Scared that his mother will be the
next.
To try and fight death, only to fail helplessly because in the end, death will
always win—with or without any disease.
Taking a deep breath to control his emotion, Jeongguk tightens the grip on his
mother’s smaller palm as he watches the lady stir a bit in her sleep on the
hospital bed in front of him. His eyes back again to wander around the first
class room after he’s sure that his mother has settled back into her slumber.
He’s been here since he was three. His earliest memories of this place were
about playing around and accompanying Dr. Jeon in his office just next to his
research lab before Jeongguk grew to hate this place as he visited it more and
more not to play with his Legos and car toys, but to bring porridge and fruits
for his mother after Mrs. Jeon was confirmed to suffer from a myelogenous
leukemia.
Years filled with chemotherapy sessions and a series of entering and leaving
the hospital for his mother finds Jeongguk not to hate only the place, but also
his father, because sadness becomes disappointment. Disappointment turns to
loneliness, and loneliness brings him to forget a wife who’s used to be healthy
and pretty until he cures the damage inside with shameful, dirty secrets.
Jeongguk gulps; the secrets that he hopes he doesn’t grow old enough to
understand about, the secrets that Jeongguk prays he could forget once he
closes his eyes yet he miserably can’t because as soon as darkness fills his
eyelids, all he sees is the image of his father and that boy—outside the club,
reaching out to tangle their hands together before Dr. Jeon led the boy into
his familiar Mercedes and took off the night just like how their relationship
should be hidden but now has hurtfully known by Jeon Jeongguk, the son himself.
“You secretly slipped inside again, huh?” A gentle squeeze on his hand pulls
Jeongguk out of his deep thoughts and he glances forward to feel his heart
clench tightly at the way his mother already has a small smile on her face. She
looks tired, she is tired but her droopy gaze reminds Jeongguk of his own eyes,
how people around are so easily captivated by him due to the attraction of
those doe eyes, how his father used to be so in love with drowning himself in
that soft gaze belonged to his mother—once upon a happiness. But that was a
history, because when shiny doe eyes changed to weak gazes, cherry lips turned
chapped and rosy cheeks decolorized to pale; gone also the love and adoration
from his father. How pathetic to think that nothing lasts, just like how a
promise is forgotten from a golden band in between the slender fingers of Mrs.
Jeon. 
Jeongguk clasps their hands more securely together, refusing to acknowledge how
the little glim from that ring has becoming meaningless day by day, and brings
them close to his chest while he leans in to rest his elbows on the edge of the
bed, loving nothing more than to be closer to his mother.
“You’re wrong this time,” Jeongguk wrinkles his nose with that playful answer.
“The nurse working tonight let me in. She can’t resist my cuteness so when I
pouted at her, she melted away like a Sundae.”
The quiet room lightens a bit at the booming laughter released by Mrs. Jeon,
shaking her head at her son’s unstoppable mischievous habit of sneaking into
her hospital room long after the visiting hour ended but never being caught in
trouble because 1) every guard and nurse adores him and 2) he’s the only son of
the hospital’s highest director, who dares to fuck with him? Jeongguk is both
grateful and ungrateful for having ‘Jeon’ in line with his name.
“These late night visits shouldn’t be something regular, darling,” his mother
reminds him as soon as her laughter dies away, reaching forward with her free
hand to brush through Jeongguk’s fringes with fond caresses. “You should be at
home, study and get a proper sleep.”
Jeongguk can turn from 17 to 70 and he’ll still pout with the same amount of
childishness every time the lecture comes from his mother. “I can just sleep
here,” he waves his hand stubbornly around the spacious room furnished with a
complete set of sofas which Jeongguk deems comfy enough to be slept on. “And I
threw away all the medical books, so I have nothing more to study about.”
Mrs. Jeon’s eyes widen at this, frowning at her son and opening her mouth to
protest but Jeongguk quickly shushes her by patting softly on their entwined
hands. “Cool it, mom. This is why I’m here tonight. I’ve got news to tell you.”
“About what? About how much you hate lungs and frogs make you feel less manly
because you scream each time you see them?” Mrs. Jeon sounds serious but
nothing stops Jeongguk from rolling his eyes. “Jeongguk, honey, I’ve heard
these complaints since you were old enough to learn Science but that shouldn’t
stop you from studying to become a doc—”
“I don’t wanna be a doctor, mom.” Jeongguk cuts off his mother mid-sentence
firm enough to shut her. He readjusts his posture on the chair and keeps his
gaze steady under Mrs. Jeon’s scrutinizing eyes, hoping to convince her that
whatever he’s about to tell her after this will be his final decision for many
important reasons. “You and dad know it, I know it and everybody knows it so
let’s stop pretending as if I don’t have any business with my own future.”
Mrs. Jeon clicks her tongue, “of course not. You have every right on deciding
what you want to be, darling. Your father only hopes for you to become a doctor
so that he knows that this hospital will have someone trustworthy and capable
enough to hand it over to.”
“Then he can take his hope and chuck it out of the nearest window because I
swear to God, I never want to have anything to do with this place.” Jeongguk
snorts through his response and even though Mrs. Jeon smiles hearing it, he can
still detect the hint of worry in her eyes.
“Then what do you want to do? If you’re not interested in medical,” beaming a
bit at the question asked so quietly by his mother, Jeongguk untangles their
hands for him to bend down and retrieve a file from inside his black backpack,
thrown carelessly down beside the bed before he straightens and hands it over
into the lady’s hold. Jeongguk worries his teeth over his lower lip while Mrs.
Jeon takes her time to read inside.
It’s a school application along with all the information needed for a student
to transfer over. Mrs. Jeon frowns upon the entire filled-out forms.
“Seoul Arts High School? This is where you’re transferring to?”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk replies without missing a beat. “I love arts, mom. I love
dancing and painting and all the stuff that both you and dad won’t agree with
because I know what dad will say, ‘If you don’t graduate as an idol, then
you’ll graduate as a poor who won’t have a job and let alone, money’ but mom,
medical promises me no such thing too. I can get into the university and fail
all the exams because like you said, I scream looking at a frog, and then I’ll
be expelled from it and my future will still be jobless and moneyless. So
what’s the difference will it make, mom?”
A solemn and uncomfortable pause stretches between them as Jeongguk prays hard
for his mother to agree on this, on his choice. She has to, or else his plan
will be doomed. He watches uncertainly as she goes through a few other pages of
the application before Mrs. Jeon flips it close and sighs, looking over at her
beloved son.
“But that’s what your father will say, that you’ll be jobless and moneyless if
you’re not becoming a doctor. What I will say is,” she pauses to curve a
heartwarming smile before she reclaims Jeongguk’s hand and shakes it firm like
an assurance. “You want to study art? Go for it. Knowledge is not something you
study just to set your future, but it’s also to be appreciated. And if you
appreciate art more than you do with frogs, then you have all my blessing,
honey.”
Jeongguk doesn’t wait, feeling too relieved and happy upon his mother’s
understanding and approval, as he stands up to wrap the woman into a tight hug,
snuggling his face on her shoulder. “Thank you, mom,” he whispers, closing his
eyes to the familiar, motherly scent of the lady. “I love you so much.”
Mrs. Jeon’s soft chuckle rings warmly into his ear while she returns the
cradle, holding Jeongguk close as if he was still a whiny 3 year-old baby. “I
love you too, sweetie.”
Jeongguk inhales deep hearing that, steadying his mess of emotions and
strengthening the walls around his heart because Jeongguk and his mother, they
only have each other. And if Jeongguk couldn’t win the battle in saving her
from death, then he must at least win the one where he pays a nice and hard
lesson to his father and his dirty, little secret.
 
 
(Jeongguk followed after him through the exit of the club, saw the Mercedes
waiting for him, saw Dr. Jeon step out of it and entwined their hands, and
pulled him close, and kissed him straight on the lips.
Jeongguk watched how the Mercedes leave afterward, and heard how his heart
shattered and his demons screamed, and rubbed his lips fiercely because he just
kissed the same lips that have been ravished by his father every night. He
thought he would never hate anyone more than he hated these two.)
 
 
“Don’t worry, mom. I’ll make sure I do well in school this time,” Jeongguk
tells her gently as he strokes up and down the back of Mrs. Jeon. But there’s
nothing gentle with the fire in his heart. It burns with an itch to destroy.
To destroy his father.
To destroy the boy.
He can’t wait to attend school tomorrow.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
So…what’s the name of this registrar again?
Jeongguk hasn’t been paying that much of attention on this short, round woman
with big glasses perched low on her nose and a seemingly out-of-place pink
cardigan she wears as he’s too busy scanning his eyes through the glass wall
behind her, out on the office corridor where the students bustle themselves
around with chatter, food and laughter during the recess time. He’s only
targeting to catch the very first glimpse of someone but it’s getting annoying
to stand here and listen to all the instructions given by this lady so to shut
her up, he needs to address her name but…what’s the name she said just now?
He seriously needs to fix this habit of instantly deleting unimportant things
off his mind.
Jeongguk exhales a long breath, impatient but smiling sweetly all the same as
he looks back down to her and only manages to catch the last few words she’s
saying, “…so I’ve allocated your locker on the third floor, with all the first
year students and you can refer the—”
“Please change my locker nearby Kim Taehyung’s.”
Jeongguk is glad to silent her without having to call her name but the way she
frowns with disbelief in her expression causes Jeongguk to fidget a bit on his
feet.
“Excuse me? Are you making a request right now?” She asks once she’s found her
voice back but Jeongguk ignores the sheer annoyance he can detect taking over
her face by smiling even wider and adjusting the strap of the backpack on his
shoulder.
“Yeah, and one more thing, can you change all my elective classes to be the
same courses as taken by the boy? I wanna match our timetable as much as I can.
Thank you.”
Jeongguk steps away to leave but the lady shouts a ‘Yah!’ before she blocks his
way with her body and waves the folder she’s been holding frantically to his
face, Jeongguk has to reverse a step back to prevent it from hurting his
handsomeness. He resists himself from hissing while the registrar judges him
hard up and down, a hand on her hip.
“Kid, I don’t know from where you get the idea that you are allowed to change
your locker and timetable arrangement, but let me tell you this. I am not going
to fulfill any of your requests and you are a junior! You can’t simply match
this and that with a senior—and a third year senior to that! You must obey
the—”
“Ajumma,” Jeongguk tries to keep his tone flat yet he gets a huge gasp in
return.
“You—you can’t simply call me like that you—”
A nonchalant roll of eyes before Jeongguk sticks his hands into his pockets and
throws a stern look upon the lady, “I’m sorry I forgot your name but ajumma, I
heard this school is in need of donation for some renewal of the art supplies.
You can contact Dr. Jeon’s secretary from Jeon Medical Center, my father will
give the donation and more.”
Satisfied to render her speechless from the unexpected news, Jeongguk smirks
thinly and leans closer to her face, whispering now.
“So in return of that, can you please just do whatever I just asked you to do?”
Jeongguk flashes her a grin, doesn’t wait to see any further of her reaction as
he drops a light pat on her shoulder and finally, finally gets to leave the
unimportant registration in the office.
He needs to make sure that he spends half of the classes around Kim Taehyung.
He has plans and the more coincidences he could create with this Kim Taehyung,
the more likely it will work. That’s why instead of approaching the third floor
for his locker, he climbs straight to the rooftop of the third year students’
building because according to his sources, this is where the Kim Taehyung likes
to spend his recess, eating and maybe sleeping.
As for today, Jeongguk can tell he chooses to sleep when he enters through the
single door of the rooftop and catches sight of a body—lying down on the floor,
one arm as his pillow and the other is thrown carelessly over his flat little
stomach. Jeongguk almost laughs at the irony of all this.
They just saw each other in the club three days before and now, they’re meeting
again with his target looking so different and innocent in his high school
uniform, nothing like the pure Sex God image Jeongguk first saw him with. He’s
just there, vulnerable and alone and waiting for Jeongguk to ruin him.
He will.
Arranging his way until he stops right next to the lying figure, he sets his
expression to look cool and haunting as Jeongguk drops his backpack down to the
floor and even the thumping of it doesn’t seem to disturb the slumber of this
boy. Jeongguk tuts, desperate to wake him up so he dives straight to the
wildness, slanging a leg over the boy and dropping his entire weigh onto his
hips.
The boy under him grunts, slowly opening an eye and Jeongguk stares him down
through hooded eyes and a sensual smile. “Rise and shine, pretty. You’ve got a
friend to meet.”
He must be blocking the sun rays and the boy can’t fully grasp his face due to
the darkness his shadow illuminates so Jeongguk waits as he blinks another eye
open, slightly distracted to the delicate way his eyelashes flutter before he
gets half of his body up on his elbows and tilts his head out of the shadow to
see Jeongguk’s face, clearly stares into his eyes and notices his suggestive
smile. The boy groans.
“Stupid Jimin. I must strangle him to death for letting the kid in. Now I’m
dreaming of him, nice.” The words trip and tangle in between sleepy syllables
as the boy goes back to lie down.
“You’re dreaming of me? How sweet,” but Jeongguk laughs (can’t help that his
sleepy face is cute and his raspy voice is so sinful) before purposefully bites
his lips as he rolls his hips down to meet the boy’s, emitting a breathy ‘Holy
fuck!’ under him. The boy’s hands fly up to clutch his thick thighs that are
straddling him still, big brown eyes now widely awake.
“That’s right, pretty. You’re not dreaming. I’m here and I’m very much real.”
Upon that declaration, Jeongguk feels the slender fingers tighten on his lap
before the boy under him sits up and there he is, the beautiful face that
charms the world, wraps men and women around his fingers, steals hearts,
destroys marriages (or, his parents’ marriage) and makes Jeongguk’s lone heart
beat too fast for somebody he’s supposed to hate with his entirety. Jeongguk
forces the storm inside to calm the shit down by curving a smirk he knows no
one can resist and leans a breath apart from the boy.
They’re still too close. Jeongguk still straddling his thighs and the latter
still studying his face. It feels like a bomb just dropped even in fact, it’s
just Jeongguk and the boy playing silent contest of staring into each other’s
soul right now.
Another heartbeat too long, he at last speaks, “What are you doing here?”
“Hmm,” Jeongguk hums, pretending to think as he snakes his arms around the
other’s neck and becoming all that closer to him until he needs to grip
Jeongguk’s waist to keep their stability. Jeongguk laughs on the boy’s confused
frown, enjoying this too much.
“As I recall it, pretty…,” Jeongguk murmurs exactly next to his ear, feeling
the body under him turn rigid. “I did say that…”
“I…,” he drops a peck to the soft cartilage of the ear, making the boy squirm
slightly.
“…will,” another peck on his left cheek.
“…see you,” and another down his sharp jaw.
“…again,” he ends it nicely with a lingering kiss right on his chin, rubbing
his lips and savoring the smoothness of the skin there until a pair of hands
pushes him backward by the shoulders and Jeongguk comes to face with the cutely
puzzled lad again.
“You…,” Jeongguk loves seeing him struggling like this, batting eyelashes and
blinking innocent eyes to decipher the situation until he puts his words into a
sentence again. “I never knew you attend this school, too.”
“I didn’t. I only start here today,” Jeongguk informs merrily as he grins so
big it turns his eyes into crescents and puts a small space between them for
him to hold out his hand, offering a handshake. “So how about a proper
introduction? I’m Jeon Jeongguk, from class 1B, Dance Major. Nice meeting you,
Kim Taehyung.”
Once again, he causes those brown eyes to enlarge hearing his full, real name
being uttered and when Taehyung doesn’t move to take his hand, Jeongguk arches
up a brow.
“Why? Do I get the wrong name here?” He gives him the don’t-fuck-with-me-I-
know-everything-about-you look. “Or…should I call you V in this school?”
Just like that, something snaps in Taehyung’s calculative expression, replacing
a fierce look on his face before he grabs Jeongguk by his collar and flips them
over. Jeongguk lets out a grunt once the back of his head hits the concrete
below and Taehyung’s already hovering close above him. It’s his turn to burn
holes into Jeongguk’s soul.
“Don’t you ever, dare, call me with that name again,” Jeongguk understands he’s
being threatened from the deep, flat timbre Taehyung is using on him but he
likes it this way. He gets Taehyung right exactly where he wants him.
Jeongguk then lifts his head up, closing the gap between their lips and smiling
against it.
“I can’t guarantee that, pretty. My tongue might slip because it’s hard to see
you as Taehyung, when all that I remember is the hot V.”
Savoring the opportunity, Jeongguk licks across the stiffened, pinky lips
before he withdraws and rests his head all too relax on the floor. Taehyung
looks like he’s a minute away from slapping him in the face which is, good.
It’s Jeongguk’s mission to rile this boy up after all.
He reaches a hand up, brushing the soft strands aside to reveal to him such a
smooth forehead of Taehyung. How hard to battle against an angel, Jeongguk
muses.
“You want me to shut up? Keep the secret away and pretend like we never met
each other before? That comes with a deal, pretty.”
Taehyung swallows, looking away and trying to get up but Jeongguk stops him by
the waist, clawing his hand tightly there until Taehyung has no choice but to
stare right back on Jeongguk.
A hiss only comes as a response two minutes after that.
“What deal?”
***** More than a Game *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Insomnia is a bitch.
To say that he couldn’t fall asleep because of any disturbance surrounding him
is a downright lame excuse because physically, there’s no single thing that
could put him in distress right now. It’s 12:30 a.m. and his room is dead
quiet, minus the distant sound of vehicles and late night trains coming from
the streets outside this penthouse. Yet it’s just normal, it’s Seoul and nobody
ever really follows the normality of needing to sleep even comes midnight so
Jeongguk’s used to hearing the hustle.
Is it because of his messy room? Jeongguk rolls his eyes for he had gone
through worse and still able to sleep inside it. There’s nothing new, his room
is always untidy whenever he chooses to stay the night here. The forgotten
backpack that he’s thrown so carelessly somewhere near the door, the piles of
school blazer, trousers and shirt discarded everywhere on the floor (despite
being a new brand of uniform) and his other stuff including dance-related
books, iPhone, empty cup of ramen, Coke and his collection of Polaroids
alongside with his favorite Fujifilm instax mini camera are all the
contributing factors that put his room into this state of tornado. Still, it’s
none of his worry. The housekeeper’s here, and Jeongguk’s a hundred percent
sure he’ll leave this room tomorrow with a clean floor and a nicely made up
bed.
Massaging the space between his eyes, Jeongguk leans his head against the
headboard of his bed, closing his eyes and tries to relax. It must be because
he is here, back in the luxurious and way-too-spacious penthouse of his father.
He first made his way here from school only to pick up the rest of his small
belongings that he couldn’t bring in his haste of moving out to another
apartment he bought himself after Jeongguk decided he can’t stand staying
together in a same living space with his father, especially after his mother
has so frequently admitted to the hospital and rarely be at home. Only once he
stepped into his bedroom that all the memories come crushing down again and
Jeongguk finds himself drained out of energy to move elsewhere but spending the
rest of the night at this place.
So here he is, exhaustion in the eyes that are so stubbornly wide awake and
inability to forget.
Jeongguk wants so much to forget.
He knows he’s a terrible liar (most terrible particularly to himself) when he
tries to fabricate the reasons to his insomnia with his disarrayed vicinity
even when in truth, it’s just the chaos going on in his mind that keeps him up.
He’s alone, and it should be easier to gain peace in the middle of this dark
silence but there’s nothing quiet about the thoughts in his head.
They’re too loud, too jumbled up and too suffocating that Jeongguk’s struggling
to find the delete button to shut them up only to feel defeated because there’s
no such thing.
He can’t delete thoughts.
The one where he can still hear his own childish laughter filling this whole
place, the one where he can still see his mother standing by the stove as she
shook her head to him, the one where he can still feel the thrill of being
chased by his father because eight-year-old Jeongguk didn’t understand what he
just stole from Dr. Jeon’s coffee table but it must be important because his
father was shouting ‘Baby, that’s my research paper, give it back!’ and most
bitter of all, the one where they were happy—together, in this penthouse and
was just enjoying their Sunday morning as a family.
Too clear, the thoughts are too vivid for him and it agitates Jeongguk to no
end because instead of forgetting them, now his mind is playing trick on him by
replacing it all with ugly images of the boy.
The one where his unwelcome, deep laughter resonates through this house, the
one where he leans by the stove to receive kisses from Dr. Jeon and the one
where he might have possibly spread eagle on the coffee table—so recklessly
moaning and being fucked by none other but Jeongguk’s father.
Jeongguk is utterly disgusted.
And it’s in the time like this he hopes he could choose to have amnesia instead
of insomnia.
Just so he could forget.
As he starts to question his stupid decision about staying the night here,
Jeongguk walks out of his room and into the kitchen, wondering if the pills he
once used to be so dependent on are still in the same cabinet where he first
left them. There was a period of time when the medicine was the only way to
help him sleep, but he managed to stop and didn’t want to go back to consuming
them again. Just for tonight, maybe, he can take only one…
“Don’t let me sleep for too long. Two or three hours only, then please wake me
up. I need to go through the reports for the rest of the surgeries after this.”
“Yes, sir. Just don’t forget to take a bath before you do so,” smirking at the
conversation he catches coming from the door way, Jeongguk retrieves his hand
from the handle of the wooden cabinet to pull out instead one of the classy
wines kept by his father and pours it for himself with evil glistening in his
eyes. He originally presumed he’s going to be alone all night, but since it’s
not the case anymore, he might as well reaps the fun from it, yeah?
Arranging his way until he can lean by the kitchen’s doorframe and see his
father’s still ordering this and that to his personal assistant, Jeongguk
brings the glass up for a sip, ready to tease before he announces his presence
with “you look tired, dad. Why don’t you have a drink with me to unwind a bit?”
Two pairs of eyes stare over at him with unexpected surprise, which Jeongguk
replies with his bunny smile, pretending to be so happy to see them—especially
his father—before he raises his glass as a form of invitation. “Seokjin hyung
can join us too, if you want.”
Kim Seokjin, the young but efficient personal assistant of Dr. Jeon is about to
bow to greet him but Dr. Jeon stops his attempt by saying “what do you think
you’re drinking, Jeongguk?” with eyes stern on his wine glass. So easily
trapped, Jeongguk internally congratulates himself.
Externally, he downs the rest of the wine openly in front of his father and
shrugs, twirling the glass around in between his fingers.
“You haven’t seen me in weeks and that’s how you greet your son?”
Jeongguk can tell his father wants nothing more than to yell at him but he
watches in sarcastic amusement as Dr. Jeon exhales a sigh and turns slightly to
Seokjin who remains standing beside him, eyes low on the floor, too mindful of
the situation to interrupt anything between the father and son.
“Excuse us, Seokjin. You may go and have your rest first,” only upon that
dismissal given to him that the broad-shouldered PA robotically nods to Dr.
Jeon and Jeongguk. And even when Jeongguk likes having audience to his series
of arguments with his father (because it’s enjoyable to make fun of that man in
front of others), Jeongguk still slightly bows back to Seokjin because if
there’s something related to Dr. Jeon that he can tolerate, then it’s Seokjin.
He’s the closest that Jeongguk has as a brother.
Once Seokjin disappears from their line of sight, Dr. Jeon eliminates the
distant between them until he stops right before Jeongguk, trying to stare down
his son with one of his icy gazes but practice makes Jeongguk perfect in
restraining it. He has long since passed the stage where his father can
intimidate him through look. Jeongguk is firm enough to stand his ground now.
“I know what you’re doing, Jeongguk.” His father starts calmly. “You’re trying
to attract my attention by making me mad at you. That’s why you transferred
school, refusing to become a doctor and choosing to study art? Do you really
think it can solve your problem?”
Oh.
So he knows already?
Jeongguk arches an eyebrow up. It’s fascinating how his father able to keep up
with his tight schedules in hospital, entertain his little slut and stalk
Jeongguk with his personal deals all at the same time.
“No,” Jeongguk’s retort is flat. “But it’s my way to tell you that it’s enough
you screwed this family over. I’m not gonna let you fuck up my future as well.”
“You—”
Jeongguk doesn’t blink, doesn’t even move a hair when his father sways a palm
up to hit it hard on his cheek. He waits to feel the sting but to his
disappointment, Dr. Jeon freezes midair just before he could touch his flesh.
His eyes are fierce, his breathing is beginning to turn into harsh gasps and
his entire face is distorted into a look that shows so much regret of having
Jeongguk as his son yet slowly, very slowly, he curls his palm into a fist and
forces it down.
Jeongguk smiles as a response; empty and zero happiness.
“Go on, dad. Beat me,” he’s speaking with a voice of someone so close to give
up. “It’ll make me feel better if I’m physically hurt. That way I can bring the
evident to court, sue you for child abuse and lock you up behind the bars where
I exactly want you to stay.”
Jeongguk screams the reminder repeatedly in his head of not to break the deadly
stare he’s directing on his father even when all he hears is the pieces of his
heart shattering to the floor. He’s not going to pick them up yet, not until he
has reached the equality of having the heart of the man in front of him diesas
well, then only will he stop.
“It’s unfortunate though, you know it’s not going to happen.” Dr. Jeon says at
last as he plugs the wine glass out of Jeongguk’s hand and brings it back into
the kitchen. Jeongguk hears it being placed into the sink before his father
turns on the water tap with a casual order of “go back to sleep, and don’t even
think to attend the art school tomorrow because I’ll—”
“Make me quit from it?” Jeongguk finishes with his back still on Dr. Jeon.
He doesn’t wait for him to further say anything. Jeongguk’s too tired and
irritated to listen anyway so he tilts his side profile to him and makes sure
his father see the smirk mocking him on his face.
“Thenyou choose, which one is bad for your reputation: Dr. Jeon with a kid
attending the art school or Dr. Jeon with a kid who’s unschooled at all?”
Jeongguk understands he is, again, the winner of their argument this time when
only silent responds to him. He looks ahead, strangely satisfied.
“Goodnight, dad,” and with that insincere wish, Jeongguk leaves to his room.
He’s just another step or two to reach the door when he takes notice of
something different along the corridor. He left it dark when he came down to
kitchen before but now there’s a small ray of light coming through a set of
sliding doors that leads to a balcony nearby. Jeongguk changes his way to
approach it, already can smell the familiar tobacco which always comes with
Seokjin.
True to his prediction, the man is there, supporting his torso against the
steel edge of the balcony and gazing far off the night sky of Seoul. Jeongguk
feels a little jealous of Seokjin for having the privilege to relax like that.
He figures it must have something to do with the cigarette burns like a small
firefly in between his fingers. Unconsciously, Jeongguk stops next to him and
steals it from Seokjin. The PA glances sideway at him as Jeongguk joins him to
stare through the chilly night all the while he takes a long drag upon the
cigarette and releases the thin smoke with a heavy sigh. Seokjin shakes his
head.
“You drink and smoke, and you’re only seventeen, kid. How bad do you wanna die
actually?” Jeongguk detects the playfulness in the way Seokjin’s questioning
him even though there’s no smile on the elder’s face. Yet odd enough, he finds
himself being completely serious when he answers it.
“As bad as I wish I could take mom’s place. She doesn’t deserve the illness,
hyung.” Seokjin fully turns to study him now, sees how vulnerable and small
Jeongguk is upon the burden that’s been so cruelly placed on his young
shoulders and Seokjin frowns, doesn’t know what he should do.
Sometimes it’s hard to remember that behind the indifferent exterior and
strong-headed manner of this person in front of him, lays a teenage boy who has
it harder than the rest of the kids his age. Jeongguk always makes it seem like
nothing bothers him, like he doesn’t have a single care in the world yet
Seokjin knows better.
Jeongguk just happened to hide his fight better than the others.
Only at times like this, when 2 a.m. thoughts become scary and too much that
he…
Unable to take the hollow face the younger’s wearing now, Seokjin decides to
channel their conversation to a different matter as he says nothing and walks
back to his briefcase placed on a small bistro table behind them. He takes a
card out from it and hands it over to Jeongguk.
“Here’s the gala invitation that you asked for. I assume you finally found a
partner to attend it with.” There’s something strange laces in the small curve
of Jeongguk’s lips as he looks up at him, and Seokjin shudders, already could
detect there’s a plan waiting behind the invitation card that Jeongguk had
demanded from him three days ago.
“I just hope I’m not doing any mistake by letting you join it later,” Seokjin
voices his concern that makes Jeongguk laugh shortly in return, throwing his
sight back deep into the night.
There will be another new branch of Jeon Medical Center to be opened at the
outskirt of Seoul and Jeongguk found out his father is planning a grand
launching for it. He’s never been a fan of social party, especially ones that’s
involving his father but Jeongguk enjoys putting Dr. Jeon in a fatal distress
so this upcoming gala is going to be an event he’s looking forward to from now
on. 
“Chill, hyung,” Jeongguk spins the card back and forth in his hand. The
suddenly happy look he’s giving Seokjin is mysterious. The elder doesn’t
believe him. “Even if I’ll cause trouble there, you won’t be the one to be
blamed. I make this decision, I’ll deal with the consequences.”
Seokjin snorts. “Just like how you already caused trouble in your new school?
Bribing the administration into giving them donation to get your way?”
Jeongguk instantly sobers. He almost forgets about the deal he made with the
school’s registrar a few days prior.
“They sent you the paperwork, did they?” He already could guess the answer, but
it’s only convincing to see Seokjin nods his head. Jeongguk simply shrugs and
pulls the shortening cigarette off his mouth. “Then approve it all. I need them
to do something for me and wasting dad’s money on them is the best way to get
it.”
As his father’s PA, Seokjin feels ironically betraying to laugh at the uncaring
and casual matter Jeongguk just said regarding the way Dr. Jeon’s money should
be spent on but Jeongguk’s grinning with him, and he understands the younger
needs that now so Seokjin forgets the fact that he shouldn’t be siding on his
boss’s son and shakes his head instead, laughing harder.
“God, you’re so fucked up.”
“Just wait, hyung,” Jeongguk is smirking and bringing the tobacco back up to
his mouth. “The worst is yet to come.”
“Stop finishing my cigarette,” Seokjin frowns in disapproval, pulling it out of
Jeongguk’s grasp just before he could go back to sucking on it. Jeongguk tuts
softly but the elder ignores him, turning back to smash off the little fire
from the cigarette butt into a small bowl placed on the table.
“Go get some sleep, you still have a few hours before school—”
“Tell me, hyung,” Jeongguk’s sudden request halts the elder from picking up his
briefcase to move away from there. His eyes questioning on Jeongguk as the
younger slips his hands into his pocket, swallowing. “Tell you what?”
“Anything…,” his tone soft, pleading that Seokjin almost reaches out to make
sure that the night doesn’t engulf him into its thick darkness.
Jeongguk couldn’t understand why he’s behaving the way he is right now. He’s
just so desperate of distraction, refusing to sleep away the exhaustion that’s
about the crush down his body just because it doesn’t feel right to do so.
He’s afraid.
He keeps waiting for a call from the hospital but when nothing comes, no one is
yet giving him signal that he can bring his mother back to home, the giant lump
of worry grows stronger in him again.
It’s both nerve-wrecking to not and receive a call from the hospital. Because
it’s a sign whether Mrs. Jeon makes it through the day or not.
And that’s the ultimate reason why Jeongguk feels scared to fall asleep day by
day, scared that it might be the last day he can see his mother, scared that
the phone call might bring him to the end instead of a continuation.
Seokjin lets out a sigh after a quiet moment before he walks over to sit on a
long bench, also situated on the balcony. Jeongguk watches him make himself
comfortable and finally gestures for Jeongguk to come over.
The younger does raise an eyebrow to him but doesn’t deny his request as he
approaches Seokjin and just when he’s about to take a sit next to him, the
elder reaches for his shoulders, loops an arm around them and drags Jeongguk
down to rest his head on his lap instead.
“What—”
“Close your eyes, Jeongguk-ah,” Seokjin demands softly. “I’m gonna tell you a
story.”
The slightly puzzled look doesn’t last long on Jeongguk’s face before his whole
expression twists to teasingly smug and rolls his eyes.
“I don’t want any bedtime stories, hyung. I’m seventeen, that kind of stories
appeal no more to me,” his statement clearly becomes in contrast to his action
since he positions his head to snuggle even more comfortably on Seokjin’s lap.
The elder snorts down at him.
“Just listen. Do you remember you once asked me about who my boyfriend is?”
Jeongguk practically lights up at that, flashing a mischievous little grin up
at Seokjin.
“Yeah, do you finally want to tell me who is he?”
Seokjin makes a face, answering a flat “no,” to which Jeongguk whines like a
teen he is.
“Then what’s the point of telling me this—”
“We got engaged.”
Jeongguk falls silent, doe eyes only able to blink at Seokjin’s serious face.
When he’s certain the younger doesn’t catch his point, Seokjin sighs and brings
up his left hand with a simple silver band wrapped around one of his fingers
close in front of Jeongguk’s face, allowing him to inspect it. He didn’t
realize the addition being there all along they were conversing over cigarette
just now. It’s truly small, simply unnoticed if people don’t pay careful
attention on it. But it must have held something deeply meaningful and personal
to Seokjin if the soft gaze he has upon it is any indication for it.
“Wow,” is the only thing Jeongguk said, already slowly closing his eyes as
Seokjin’s hand drops away.
“Yeah, wow.” Seokjin agrees, clasping and rubbing the ring with his other free
hand.
“So what you gonna do now? Flee the country to America and get married? God
knows I’ll be supporting you to do that because you shouldn’t waste your life
here, working for an old bastard like my father.” Jeongguk suggests with his
eyes still close, rambling playfully with quiet laughter even when Seokjin
knows he’s being serious since the very moment the elder revealed to him about
his relationship and sexuality.
“I hope I am that brave but I…,” Seokjin’s chuckle quiets along with that
sentence. Jeongguk yawns before he questions, “you?”
Seokjin smiles, small and thin to himself, recalling the night they fought so
nastily. His fiancé had asked to break up but Seokjin was so full of himself.
He blurted out the proposal to marry him, to make him stay but now that he’s
thinking about it again, thinking about them, he loses idea of what to do.
“I can’t bring him to my life…publically,” he feels Jeongguk tense under his
petting upon his admittance. “But I still want him in it. Don’t you think it’s
so selfish of me?”
Jeongguk inhales steadily again, humming his response of “very,” under his
breath as he welcomes the breeze blowing to his face, heaving his eyes and
pulling the slumber in him. Seokjin’s fingers in his hair are comforting, he
finally feels sleepy.
In his daze, Jeongguk somehow sees the vision of his family, his parents and
the boy with his father. There’s something similarly selfish to his father just
as how Seokjin is feeling. He’s pretty much sure his father knows that the boy
he’s keeping in his life couldn’t be more than his secret pleasure. Yet he
still wants him around, all at the same time keeping Mrs. Jeon by his side.
Jeongguk simply couldn’t understand love.
It turns someone to be selfish and low.
Jeongguk doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to love.
Sleep is so heavy in his eyes that he might think it’s the wind playing trick
to his ears. But Jeongguk hears it, just before he’s losing himself to
dreamland, when Seokjin whispers something faint above him.
“I’m so sorry, Jeongguk-ah. I shouldn’t have brought him to the club that
night.”
Him? Who? Jeongguk’s too tired to think straight.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
Taehyung draws, a lot.
He draws when the lessons get boring (mindlessly doodling over the edges of his
textbook), he draws between the class transition, he draws while waiting for
the bus after school, he draws before he goes to sleep; he draws. His friends
already have accustomed to seeing his nose buried in his endless collection of
sketchbooks; Choi Seungcheol has no longer questioning how on earth does a
person has that ability and will to fulfill such a thick sketchbook within just
three days (despite being in the same Fine Art Major, Seungcheol isn’t the type
to draw, he prefers sculpting where he can actually touch the materials to
bring his art into live—to which Taehyung once commented “you’re insulting the
beauty of 2D art and Seungcheol unceremoniously rolled his eyes while saying
“3D is modern and sexy. It’s practically my kink, take it or leave it.”) and
Park Jimin already gave up trying to separate Taehyung from his sketchbooks
(Taehyung was seriously upset with him when Jimin hid one of Taehyung’s
sketchbooks before, saying that he needed to draw out his thoughts whenever
needed and Jimin was apparently being an asshole who killed his muse.) while
Yoon Jeonghan has never really mind since the beginning (he doesn’t mind a lot
of things, always smiles cheerfully to the world and praises Taehyung’s
sketches whenever he can, and Taehyung is the most thankful to his existence).
That’s why now, in the middle of the recess time, when Jimin and Seungcheol are
going at each other’s throat for the vital fight of the very last piece of the
sandwich with Jeonghan being their loyal spectator, slurping over his favorite
smoothie and laughing at the duo’s three-year-old antic, none of them bothers
to ask of what keeps Taehyung so quiet in his own little bubble once they see
the sketchbook lays open on his lap and his familiar bold pen dances across it.
Taehyung sketches whatever that is in his current mind. Mostly inanimate
objects and scenery but when Jimin stumbles too hard over his own feet—courtesy
of the cackling Seungcheol—and almost knocks himself into the chair which
occupied by Taehyung, surprise takes over his annoyed hiss to notice that
Taehyung isn’t sketching what he usually does, but rather a person—a boy.
“Yah, Taetae! That—isn’t that…,” the tip of his pen stops shading the figure,
bringing his face up to blink at Jimin where his friend seems to lose the rest
of his words upon staring on that paper and the stretch of silence pulls at
Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s attention to crowd around Taehyung’s sketchbook as
they bend to have a look.
Seungcheol’s the one breaking the tension as he releases a chuckle. “Ah, so
even you can’t resist the charm of this new kid huh?”
Taehyung looks back down at his own sketching. He’s drawing the back view of a
boy, with a backpack dangled only from one side of his shoulders. His face is
drawn from the side, as if he’s smirking at whoever that stares on this drawing
and he’s wearing a complete uniform of their school, light brown Timberlands
completed the sketching as if he’s walking forward into the rooftop of the
third year building that Taehyung drew as the background. And suddenly it feels
so real.
Taehyung sketches whatever that is in his current mind.
And he’s sketching this boy with brown doe eyes and attractive bunny smile
which he just blatantly realizes has been occupying his mind more often these
days.
Taehyung gulps, searching for Jimin’s face and once he catches the deep frown
his friend is giving him, Taehyung gets the instant idea that Jimin knows this
as well.
He recognizes the boy in the painting, too.
It’s the boy that Jimin first brought into the club, and it’s also the same boy
that showed up in front of Taehyung in this school only to mess up with his
mind…and heart.
Taehyung quickly shakes his head. “That’s not it. I don’t even know this guy. I
just happened to see him once,” because it’s easier to live in denial than
dealing with the truth of how Taehyung couldn’t keep his thoughts off the
stranger in the sketching. Damn that boy.
“Wait, you said new kid? So this boy does exist? In this school?” Jimin sobers,
catching up with the news as he slowly comes to term that the boy in the
drawing is wearing a school uniform, their school uniform, and not the black
suit like the night in the club.
“Yeah, Jeon Jeongguk,” Jeonghan answers as he throws a nod over his shoulders
at Jimin. “He’s a junior and I suppose you’ll notice him sooner or later since
he’s in the same Dance major as you.”
Jimin blinks, trying to soak up the information as fast as he can but when
Taehyung doesn’t seem to faze with the things they just heard—like he’s known
it way earlier—he’s drowned into deeper confusion and frantically waves his
hands to Jeonghan and Seungcheol. “Alright, hold up. How come you’ve known so
much about him already? I thought you said he’s new here?”
“He is, but Jeon Jeongguk is exceptionally noticeable because he—”
Seungcheol’s explanation is distracted, however, when a group of first years
who are sitting just a table away from them, squealing excitedly over
something. Taehyung looks over, clicking the pen in his hand, as he joins the
rest of them to see the source of such noise in this cafeteria.
At first, all he sees is the girls, hunching over each other as they peek to
the corridor outside with bashful smiles all over their faces. But a second
later, the subject of their conversation (or maybe, of everyone’s conversation
in the school recently, judging from the hush whispers from the girls) comes
into his view and Taehyung quickly understands why the first years sound like
dying whales all of a sudden.
There, Jeon Jeongguk, basketball in his hand and damp black hair stuck to his
forehead, he’s walking past the cafeteria from the field nearby as if he owns
the place with his all sexily sweaty skin. Unmindful of the growing attention
around him, Jeongguk rolls his sleeves up, showing his tanned, vein-covered
arms while he uses the white dress shirt to wipe his forehead, revealing his
abs intentionally.
More squeals are heard, and Taehyung feels his throat has gone sand-papery at
the sight as one of the girls could no longer control her hormones by yelling,
“Jeongguk-ah, you’re so handsome!”
The said boy glances up to his fellow female first years and he grins, giving
silent heart attack not just to the girls, but to Taehyung as well when he
flashes them his wide bunny smile and eyes that disappeared into slits by its
corners. Jeongguk bows and waves to them before he dribbles the ball lightly in
his hands, continuing his way down the corridor and giving the entire cafeteria
the full view of his broad back through that sweat-soaked shirt.
Taehyung only looks away when Seungcheol snorts and drops a pat on his
shoulder.       
“Well, I can’t blame you for wanting to keep that broad back in a drawing. It’s
such an art.”
He can feel Jimin’s scrutinizing stare on him but all Taehyung does is shrug,
wriggling his eyebrows as he smiles back at Seungcheol. “Yeah, right,” he plays
along. “I wonder how it would look like if he takes off his shirt.”
Jeonghan almost chokes upon his smoothie, quickly placing it down to the table
while Seungcheol reaches over to smooth a hand over his back. “Wait, wow.
You’re thinking to that extent already?” Taehyung shrugs once more, acting
indifferent.
“Don’t you feel challenged? Because I see a rival there, trying to take over
the girls’ hearts that are your fans,” Jeonghan subtly angles his head to the
table of the squealing girls just now.
Taehyung quiets, seemingly thinking of something before he runs a hand over his
own sketching and stops by the edge of it.
“No. He can take it as much as he wants. I’m sick of the attention after all.”
Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Jimin are watching him closely when he suddenly tears
out the page, crumbles it into a ball and throws Jeon Jeongguk’s sketching
straight to a bin around their table.
Taehyung then stands up, ignoring the questioning stares from his friends even
when none of them is verbally asking why he threw away the sketch that he spent
the entire recess to finish it because Taehyung never, never dumps away his
sketches.
He will try his best to perfect them if any of the outcomes is unsatisfying.
This is the first.
“I’ll get going to the class first,” Taehyung excuses himself, not even bother
to spare another look to Seungcheol and Jeonghan which the duo could only
exchange looks between them as Jimin rushes after him.
“Tae…,” he only slows down his steps after he’s ensured they are already away
from the place behind, truly out of everyone’s earshot. Jimin is side-eyeing
him, pouting a bit.
“Tae, I’m so sorry—”
“You didn’t know, Jimin.” Taehyung cuts him off once Jimin brings up the topic
from earlier again. He still sounds so distant, as if Taehyung is dreading from
discussing this matter any further but he lightly shakes his head just to get
rid of the guilt shown on Jimin’s face. “Just like me. I didn’t expect it as
well. All I know is that we met once in the club, made out and suddenly he was
there on the rooftop to meet me. I had no idea that we’ll even attend the same
school.”
Jimin frowns, thinking hard from the matter that he knows, is eating in his
best friend. Both he and Taehyung are working in the night club, and even
though they are technically legal to be in that position due to their age, they
are still high school students who shouldn’t even be involved in any of those
wild businesses. Yet now, there’s a person who’s aware of that fact and that
person, is very much alive in the same school.
Jimin can see why it is a threat to both of them, especially to Taehyung. He
turns hissing to him.
“But Seungcheol said he just recently transferred here. Don’t you think it’s
too weird to be a coincidence? What if he—”
“We have a deal already, Jimin. You need not to worry that much.” His friend
assures him softly despite the doubt that’s still clear in his own eyes.
Jimin’s not going to buy that so he uncertainly asks, “What’s the deal then?”
Taehyung stops from climbing up the stairs to their class. He contemplates
whether or not to tell Jimin about it but after a nudge on his elbow, Taehyung
sighs and leans to Jimin’s ear to whisper the deal he’s made with Jeon Jeongguk
to prevent the boy from opening his mouth regarding the club affair.
Jimin widens his eyes afterward as Taehyung steps back while biting his lips.
“And you agreed to do that? Without any payment?”
“I can’t afford another person to know that I’m working there, Jimin. You know
it will upset my grandma if I stop going to school and I still need the
money…,” there’s a heaviness in the way Taehyung is sighing, it makes Jimin
feel helpless that he can do so little to help his best friend. But then
Taehyung smiles thinly at him. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him shut.”
Jimin whines, snaking his arm around Taehyung’s shoulders and nuzzling his neck
as it erupts a cute chuckle from the taller male. “Oh, Tae. I’m so sorry. I
shouldn’t have brought him inside that night.”
“Forget it, Jiminie.” Taehyung squeezes back to him, trying to reassure him
that everything’s okay for now. “It wasn’t your fault—”
A figure steps down the stairs and the pair of best friends are moving aside to
give space for that person to walk through when they both look up and meet the
intense gaze of Jeongguk.
Why is he everywhere?
Taehyung clings tighter to Jimin, hoping that Jeongguk doesn’t open his mouth
to say anything to him but by the foot of the stairs, the first year pauses and
crouches down to his knee, startling both Jimin and Taehyung as he stills to
the feeling of Jeongguk tying his shoelaces, unnoticeably had untangled before.
Once done, Jeongguk straightens up and bows politely like a junior should to
them, rendering Taehyung to a speechless stare upon him while a confused Jimin
continues to gape at him.
“Be careful, sunbae-nim. You might trip over the laces,” is all that Jeongguk
reminds before he leaves, bringing Taehyung’s breath and confusion with him.
Jimin turns around, as if wanting to say something but Taehyung blindly grabs
his arm to stop him.
“Jiminie?”
His friend freezes from any movement, waiting for Taehyung to speak again.
“Yeah?”
“Can you do me a favor? Have the guards to block all humans named Jeon Jeongguk
from ever entering the club yeah?”
A silence.
“Okay.”
 
===============================================================================
 
 
When he learned that Kim Taehyung dances, sings and offers whatever paid-
service it is in the club, Jeongguk didn’t deem him to be one that will choose
archery as his co-curriculum. Yet now when he’s standing in the middle of the
common room of the Archery Club, listening to the instruction of the club’s
president alongside with the other first years, he can’t seem to back down from
the deep eye contact he’s currently having with the said third year the moment
Taehyung notices that Jeongguk will be a new member of the same club.
He received his new timetable a few minutes before the evening club activities
started and honestly, he’s so glad to meet Taehyung again, despite in the
Archery Club of all places, since the unreadable expression the senior is
wearing right now is so oddly endearing. Like he’s so confused of how Jeongguk
manages to always be somewhere around him since he began attending this school.
“…because today is your first day, you’ll be having the necessary training for
beginner before we move to give you the complete archer’s uniform…,” Jeongguk
recognizes the president as Yoon Jeonghan, one of the seniors who’s close to
Taehyung but his entire words fade out into everything else in the background
once someone comes nearing Taehyung from behind and touches him on the hip to
tear the eye connection Taehyung’s been playing with Jeongguk.
Jeongguk lightly clicks his tongue, feeling distracted at the sight of that
person—a man, looks way more mature than the rest of these high
schoolers—pulling Taehyung’s attention by redirecting him back to the training
he was previously in. Jeongguk keeps hawk eyes on them, growing more and more
conscious of something off in his chest when he sees the way that man hold
Taehyung around his hips and his hand linger longer than he should over
Taehyung’s while he’s correcting the way that senior should stretch his bow.
Jeongguk could blame himself for stressing over nothing but the tense bunching
in Taehyung’s shoulders and frowns creasing in his face show Jeongguk more than
a word can that the senior himself is uncomfortable of the closeness pushes by
the man on him.
Taehyung takes a subtle step to distant himself but Jeongguk loses his self-
restraint when the man totally engulfs his arms around his waist and whispers
something into his ear. Jeongguk marches forward without so much of rational
thoughts when another person suddenly enters his vision line, causing Jeongguk
to stop and hiss up to that person instead.
“Jeon Jeongguk, right?” It’s Jeonghan, smiling brightly at him that Jeongguk
drops all the tensed muscles on his face to stiffly respond back with another
smile.
“Yes, sunbae-nim. Nice to meet you,” he bows, to which Jeonghan shake his head
to dismiss the courtesy.
“Well, where are you going? Everyone’s moving to their group training, you
should be joining them then.” Jeonghan waves his arm to another part of room,
where Jeongguk glances to see the group of juniors before has left him alone
there and quickly clears his throat. He looks back to Jeonghan.
“I’ll be joining them shortly after this, sunbae-nim. But first I have a
question, can you tell me who’s that person over there?” He points a finger
straight over Jeonghan’s shoulders and the president follows it until his sight
is met with Taehyung and the man, still standing and quietly talking to each
other, having their own little bubble that Jeongguk so desperately wants to
burst. Jeonghan’s everlasting smile is there when he turns back to Jeongguk.
“That one is our club advisor, Mr. Kang. He’s training the third years for our
upcoming competition. Why?” Jeongguk leaves a minute gap in silence, eyes never
once leaving the one-way interaction between Taehyung and that Mr. Kang.
“Nothing. I just have a thing to discuss with him regarding my club
registration. I’ll excuse myself for now, sunbae-nim.” With that, Jeongguk
exchanges another quick bow with Jeonghan before he leaves the president to
approach the two people and stop just in time to see Taehyung is narrowing his
eyes icily upon their club advisor, probably feeling irritated of something he
said.
Jeongguk clears his throat loudly to gain their attention.
“You need help with that shoot, sunbae-nim? I can help you with that,” acting
as if he didn’t see Mr. Kang blinking his eyes from Taehyung to him, he offers
the senior with sweet sugary smile as Taehyung opens and closes his mouth,
wanting to say something but words seem to fail him. Mr. Kang interrupts
instead.
“Wait, aren’t you a first year? What do you think you’re doing here among the
third years’ training? Go and learn the basics first!” The members around have
started to set eyes on them from the loud voice Mr. Kang is using to command
him. Jeongguk notices from the corner of his eyes that Jeonghan is rushing over
to step into the situation but exhaling under his breath, Jeongguk inserts his
body in between Mr. Kang and Taehyung, blatantly ignoring the way the advisor
is hissing, as he keeps his focus only on Taehyung and envelops his hand ever
so gently over Taehyung’s to ask for his bow.
“May I?” Taehyung is floored, able to only nod at him without taking his eyes
off Jeongguk as he pulls his hand off the bow and into Jeongguk’s grip. He
watches as Taehyung step back, giving him space to stand properly facing the
aim board, pulling the string and posturing his entire body perfectly to propel
the arrow.
Jeongguk merely notices how the whole club becomes silent as he aims only on
the board and releases his breath once the bow is let flying across the air and
straight to pierce the center of the board, 10 out of 10 on points.
Some of them gasp, some others clap and whistle at his talent while Jeongguk
pivots back to see Jeonghan has stopped walking in his path, Mr. Kang is eyeing
him up and down with clear dissatisfaction and Taehyung is smiling.
It’s not huge, or boxy like Jeongguk first saw in the club.
But it’s still there, a slight curve at the corner of his lips as he stares at
Jeongguk and the junior walks over to hand him back his bow.
Unlike Taehyung, Jeongguk doesn’t restrain his smile. He gives him one of his
charming, heart-swooning grins, ready to tell the world that he’s attracted to
this lad.
He pats Taehyung on the shoulder and says, “You need to readjust the alignment
of your shoulder with the string, sunbae-nim. That way your shoot will be more
precise.”
“How did you know so much about archery?” Mr. Kang asks and Jeongguk faces him
completely, smiling calmly.
“It’s been my hobby since I was ten. That’s why I’m looking for you. How about
you start including me as one of the school representatives? I’m sure I can
bring more successes in the upcoming competition.”
Mr. Kang comments nothing after his confident statements, asking Jeongguk to
follow him to his office for further discussion and the junior agrees. He
leaves without sparing another look to his target behind, having completed the
mission to separate Taehyung from Mr. Kang as he smirks upon the envious and
questioning stares he’s receiving from the rest of club members.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
It’s only the first 20 minute of the training and Jeongguk is already itching
to do something else. Something like bothering the fuck out of Kim Taehyung.
Jeongguk wasn’t lying when he said he’s been learning the ABC’s of archery
since he was ten so the longer he is into this basic course, the deeper he gets
drowned in his own boredom. No longer listening to the instructor ahead,
Jeongguk roams his eyes around the club to find a way to escape and hopefully,
get to interact with Taehyung again.
He starts to feel odd when he doesn’t see the senior being around his group of
members and decides to use the washroom excuse as a passing ticket to go and
find Taehyung. But then Mr. Kang pops out from God knows where with Taehyung
trailing behind him and Jeongguk squints over to them. The advisor seems to be
chattering about something to the lad behind him but Taehyung doesn’t lend that
much of ear on him. He looks bored, in fact, as he carries a box of arrows in
his arms while he follows Mr. Kang until they’re out of Jeongguk’s sight,
exiting the club.
Not one to let his curiosity unfed, Jeongguk slowly excludes himself from the
group and makes sure none of the members notice his absence as he starts
following after the two.
Mr. Kang ends up bringing Taehyung to his personal office that Jeongguk entered
a few minutes prior and the junior covers himself behind a wall next to the
door as he tries to listen to the conversation going on inside. At first,
Jeongguk feels stupid of himself for doing this, since he could barely hear
them with the low voice the two are using but then something falls with a thump
to the floor and Jeongguk stiffens.
“I told you if you keep on doing this, I must quit the club.” It’s Taehyung,
voice dangerously cold as if he’s warning the advisor. Yet Mr. Kang laughs in
response.
“Oh really, sweetie? You think by doing that, you can truly escape from me?”
Something vile begins to crawl under Jeongguk’s skin once he listens to the way
Taehyung’s openly being called sweetie—by their own teacher, in fact.
Jeongguk’s calculating whether to get into their way or not before another hard
thump is heard following with Taehyung’s harsh “Don’t fucking touch me!”
And Jeongguk could wait no longer, taking a breath and storming into the room.
His violent entrance causes Taehyung to flinch from where he’s pasting his body
as close as he could to the wall behind him whereas Mr. Kang is in the middle
of invading his personal space, leaning so close to his face that when he
realizes Jeongguk is there, he gulps and steps away from Taehyung. Jeongguk is
frowning upon both of them, smelling something is seriously wrong with the
situation.
Mr. Kang straightens his body, keeping his hands into his pockets in which
Jeongguk doesn’t miss to read it as someone that’s controlling his panic. He
tries and fails to smile at Jeongguk, “how—how can I help you, Jeon?”
Jeongguk is still judging them with misplaced feeling, alternating between
glaring at Mr. Kang and glancing at Taehyung. The senior’s looking back at him,
pushing himself away from the wall and silently pleading for something that
Jeongguk hopes he reads it right as help. Jeongguk keeps his eyes locked on
Taehyung.
“Sunbae-nim, the president asked me to get the uniform from you. He said you’ll
show me the way so if you’re finished here, can we go now?”
Taehyung is too eager to nod, saying nothing more to explain at the advisor as
he walks over to Jeongguk and takes his hand into his before Taehyung pulls him
out of the office, leaving there as fast as they can.
All the way to the store, they both are quiet. Jeongguk wants to ask, wants to
relieve the questions budging in his head of what’s actually happening between
Taehyung and their advisor but the senior next to him looks like he isn’t ready
to answer anything with honesty. And Jeongguk refuses to take lie.
So he keeps his eyes to the road and lets Taehyung lead the way with their
hands still entwined.
Maybe it’s some kind of assurance but Jeongguk doesn’t question it when he can
feel how Taehyung’s palm is slightly shivering and his grip tightens on
Jeongguk’s whenever it happens.
Jeongguk side-eyes him, and sees scare there but he refrains himself from
pointing it out.
When they finally step into the store that Taehyung untangles their hands and
even then, his movement is slow with reluctance. Jeongguk smirks.
“You can keep on holding my hand while searching for the uniform. I don’t mind
it.” He teases just to chase away the invisible tension floating in the air
around them and it works. It works when Taehyung throws a distasteful glare
from the corner of his eyes, hands folded across his chest as if they are
defense mechanism against Jeongguk.
Jeongguk ignores the way he thinks the senior is cute.
“You’re such an ass, I don’t know why I should be thankful to you of all
people.” Taehyung tells him after a minute and Jeongguk chuckles, leaning
against one of the tall shelves in the store as he plants his playful gaze firm
on Taehyung.
“You’re thankful to me? For saving you from Mr. Kang just now?”
Jeongguk delivers the question as a mere guess but it sobers Taehyung up
quicker than normal. He leaves it unanswered when he turns around to pull out a
box from the piles arranged on the shelf while asking instead “What size your
t-shirt is?”
Jeongguk takes notice of the tense slipping back in his shoulders but doesn’t
voice it. He responds with a shrug when Taehyung glances to him, waiting for
his reply.
“I don’t know. I wasn’t really looking for you to get the uniform,” he informs
truthfully only to have the senior narrowing his eyes to him.
“So did you…did you just lie?” His cute face is unbelievable just like his tone
and Jeongguk stops himself from cooing.
He steps closer to Taehyung while the senior is judging him through the furrows
on his forehead, clearly confused of his real intention to show up in Mr.
Kang’s office in the first place but Jeongguk is bold, so instead of explaining
himself, he reaches out to smooth the skin in between Taehyung’s brows, loving
the way his expression shifts from puzzled to something else. It isn’t
uneasiness but something that’s hyper aware of his touch.
Jeongguk murmurs to him, still softly massaging his skin, “at least you got to
escape that old man. You were clearly uncomfortable of him.”
An invisible bubble instantly circles around them from the moment Taehyung
climbs his eyes to meet Jeongguk’s again and the younger holds it, holds the
gaze deep and intense until he almost feels the flame rising under Taehyung’s
skin and the senior reverses a step backward, dropping Jeongguk hand in the
way.
He clears his throat and turns around. “Then we should go back—”
“Should I try this one?” Jeongguk quickly asks, refuses for Taehyung to walk
away from him as he picks one of t-shirts kept in the box, now open by their
feet before looking back at Taehyung who stops all attempt to move from where
he stands. “I’ll still get the uniform sooner or later, right? Might as well
figure out the correct size now.”
Doesn’t wait for Taehyung to speak, Jeongguk shrugs off his blazer and drops it
down to the floor without so much of a care. The frown on Taehyung’s forehead
comes back at this, watching but unable to move as Jeongguk proceeds to undo
his tie and lets it join the blazer before his slender fingers go to unbutton
his dress shirt, eyes suggestive on Taehyung all the time.
First button pops open, then the second button and the third and—
Taehyung blinks away, changing his sight to anywhere but the daring junior in
front of him and somehow, this causes Jeongguk to chuckle amusedly.
“You can look, you know,” Jeongguk hands him the free permission while he
listens to that dress shirt being thrown to the floor as well. Jeongguk pats
his toned and nicely shaped abs fondly, grinning over to Taehyung who’s still
refuse to look at him. “I spent hours in the gym just to be proud of this
baby.”
The fucker.
“I wasn’t really looking at you—”
“Hmm, weird,” Jeongguk interrupts his hissing with a witty hum. “I clearly saw
you ogled my abs at the café before. Thought you might want a closer, better
look of them.”
This somehow successfully forces Taehyung to turn looking at him, blinking for
a second but clearly and openly and freely sees the defined abs and sturdy
chest of Jeongguk. He squints to the cunningly grinning junior, feeling
disbelief that Jeongguk had noticed him in the cafeteria among the restless
fangirls who shouted for his attention but what to do? Kim Taehyung owns his
entire attention in this school.
Taehyung settles with a defeated sigh. “You’re so full of shit, aren’t you?”
Jeongguk grins merrily to reply him.
“If it’s the sexy shit we’re talking about, then yeah. I’m full of it.”
“You—”
“Why didn’t you let me pay you?” Jeongguk doesn’t let him finish, shooting the
question as he picks up again the club t-shirt, tugging it over his head and
smirking to himself when he looks back to Taehyung and sees his eyes are upon
his biceps, effortlessly stretching when he shoves his arms into the shirt. He
knows Taehyung likes what he’s seeing but Jeongguk has priority for now so he
asks further, “Why did you agree to come with me to the gala without any
payment? I thought you won’t go out of the club with anyone if it’s not paid-
service.”
He reminds them of the deal they met on the rooftop the first day he came to
greet Taehyung in this school. The senior has agreed to go with him but refused
to receive any kind of cash that could come with it even when Jeongguk offered
it in the first place.
It provokes Jeongguk when Taehyung declined his money.
To him, Taehyung’s a slut.
His dad’s slut.
And he shouldn’t be refusing money that comes from the same source because Dr.
Jeon gives whenever Jeongguk demands for money. It’s the only thing he could
endlessly offer to Jeongguk after all that he’s done behind Jeongguk and his
wife.
And Jeongguk hates it when Taehyung doesn’t take him seriously.
He and his dad. They should be the same, shameless customers in Taehyung’s eyes
so what’s the difference to him now?
Jeongguk’s desperate to know.
“I receive payment only from customers,” the senior tells him at last. “You’re
not my customer and way too young to be one, so keep your money to yourself.”
There’s a thump in his heart. Jeongguk doesn’t want to admit it.
“Then, if I’m not a customer, what am I to you? What are we?”
It takes Taehyung more than a minute to answer that. All he does is keeping
himself quiet while they are staring to each other, gazes heavy and bring a
thousand meanings behind them until Jeongguk gets that Taehyung probably
doesn’t have the answer to begin with so he speaks again.
“Maybe we should attend the gala as friends. That will make it less awkward to
explain.” Jeongguk shrugs, moving to collect his uniform from the floor but his
movement stiffens when Taehyung lets out his first chuckle, short but clear in
Jeongguk’s ears.
“You cannot and would not be my friend, Jeon Jeongguk. My friends are all the
people I trust, even in the smallest matter, but you’re far from that. I have
serious trust issue since the day I met you.”
Same here. Jeongguk wants to tell him the issue is mutual but he keeps the
conflict inside and shows instead the indifferent face that he knows could lie
to a sea of people out there. He frowns to Taehyung.
“Really? So what’s the matter that makes you unable to trust me?” He asks just
to test this male because the closer you’re to your enemy, the bigger your
chances to win the battle. It’s Jeongguk’s dirty tactic.
Taehyung stares him straight in the eyes, response comes totally honest from
the way Jeongguk sees and hears it. “I don’t know who you are. Why you suddenly
appear in my life and are all over it.”
Jeongguk curves up his lips that are heavy on the smirk than a smile.
He arranges his way to Taehyung, stopping right in front of his face and
drowning himself into those big, brown eyes and feeling strangely glad.
His first aim was to make this male wonder of who he is and Jeongguk’s content
to know that he did exactly that to Taehyung, building the curiosity in
Taehyung and luring him further into his game of revenge.
“Be my friend, only then I’ll give you the answers to those.” Jeongguk whispers
but Taehyung shows him a knowing smile, shaking his head.
“Then I would rather never know it. Because I’ll be stupid to agree and trust
you to give me honest reasons,” is his simple answer.
Jeongguk’s evil but tempting smile only widens hearing this, liking that
Taehyung isn’t an easy target and he’s making this thing happening between them
unconsciously more interesting than Jeongguk originally thought it would be.
He ducks his head forward, placing his mouth a breath away from Taehyung’s and
spills the words directly against those soft, pinky lips.
“You’re difficult and clever. I likeyou.”
Taehyung’s round eyes glistening with mirth are the last thing he sees before
the senior grabs his arm and captures his lips.
Enemy or not, this, is not something Jeongguk can refuse.
He kisses back just as eagerly.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
Jeongguk is mad. No, he’s currently, extremely seething with anger right now.
Ever since he arrived here and made his way to the entrance to get into the
club, the two guards (Big Guy 1 and Big Guy 2 as labeled by Jeongguk) have
always given him shitty excuses of why he’s forbidden from gaining his entrance
pass. Jeongguk sighs, for the nth time as he shoots another dagger through his
glare up to the pair of big guys.
“No, look. Seriously, I’ve told you that I came here a few days before and it
was obvious that I wasn’t illegal back then! I’m not the club member but this
isn’t the first time I’m here so why aren’t you chill ‘bout it? Do I look like
someone who’s a second away from bombing this place?” Jeongguk blabbers, trying
to control his temper from exploding and succumbing to his desire to blow these
guards with his hard punch, each on the face.
They exchange another stern look among them and Jeongguk merely second-thinking
his desire. He doesn’t want to break his hand from punching these hard faces
but he also couldn’t guarantee his patience to stay on the top. Okay, well.
“We’re extremely sorry, sir. But we’ll let you know that all customers with the
name of Jeon Jeongguk are blacklisted from entering this club. We apologize but
you have to leave here.” The guard informs again, barely concealing his own
temper and Jeongguk couldn’t help hissing at this.
“I’m blacklisted? That’s bullshit! I wasn’t even drunk when I left the club
before!”
“We’re only receiving order from higher authority, sir. Please leave.”
Thinking that he isn’t too fancy of the idea to physically fight them, not
today at least, Jeongguk fixates another threatening glare upon the two and
turns his back on them, feeling despair for not being able to see Taehyung
tonight.
He originally came to meet the senior, but now his attempt seems to be thrown
down in vain. Jeongguk guesses of what could possibly cause his name to be
blacklisted and entertains the idea that maybe, Taehyung’s the one who orders
the guards to forbid him from any entrance.
Or maybe it’s his father?
Does he already know about Jeongguk’s appearance here? Does he get the
information from Taehyung? Does Taehyung even know what the relationship
between Jeongguk and Dr. Jeon is after all?
Jeongguk clicks his tongue impatiently, thinking fast for any other
alternatives to make it inside when he takes a turn around a corner to the
backstreet of the club building and focuses ahead to see something that makes
his steps slow down.
It isn’t anything odd at first, just two men pasting their bodies against each
other with one of them has the wall behind to lean on for support. It shouldn’t
give Jeongguk so much of a concern since this is a night club, people are
making out and grinding on each other almost everywhere but what’s really off
to him is when he notices one of them—the one leaning on the wall—seems to
grunt and struggle to push the other away from him and when he doesn’t budge,
he’s kneed in the groin.
“I told you to not touch me! Which part of ‘fuck off’ that you don’t fucking
understand huh?!” There’s a painful groan released by the man and Jeongguk’s
eyes couldn’t get any wider from realizing that the one shouting with anger
right now is Kim Taehyung.
Jeongguk quickly shifts his attention down to the man who’s still bending over
to recover from his pain, wanting to find out who he really is, and when he
huffs and steps closer to Taehyung, comes a face which clearly reminding
Jeongguk of Mr. Kang under the dim light of this backstreet.
Mr. Kang chuckles at Taehyung, sounding vile.
“You surely know how to play hard to get, kitten.” He swipes a hand under
Taehyung’s chin and something hideous tugs hard at Jeongguk’s inside upon the
huge discomfort shown by the senior. “Are you thatcurious to know what will
happen to you if the school finds out about you selling yourself around here? I
bet you’ll have it worse than rejecting me now. You’ll get expelled, have
nowhere to school and—”
As Taehyung’s expression progressively getting unsettled while listening to the
man threatening him, Jeongguk couldn’t stop his involuntary reaction and
stumble forward to do something. To do anything to get that flirty hand off of
Taehyung.
“Yah, I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” He almost doesn’t realize he’s
shouting at the two until both Taehyung and Mr. Kang snap looking at him and
Jeongguk knows, there’s no way out now.
Mr. Kang narrows his eyes, subtly moving a step out of Taehyung’s personal
space while the senior stares bewildered at him, clearly doesn’t expect
Jeongguk to once again popping out of the thin air to save him.
“You…what are you doing here, Jeon?” Jeongguk only takes his eyes off Taehyung
upon that question, glancing to the teacher instead.
He’s started to feel that he’s going to hate this man. If there’s a person to
have the right to make Taehyung’s life harder, then that person is him. Him and
him only. Mr. Kang needs to fuck off. Directing his murderous stare on that
man, Jeongguk returns the question with his own.
“Then what are you doing here?”
The sarcasm in the teacher’s face drops, giving Jeongguk a kind of satisfaction
to intimidate him before he looks again to Taehyung and doesn’t wait for Mr.
Kang to say anything else to take Taehyung’s hand into his, entwining them like
at the school before.
Jeongguk ignores the way his heart thumps when Taehyung tightens his grip,
linking their hands as if he’s grateful Jeongguk shows up here.
“We should leave, let’s go.” Taehyung nods to this and falls into steps beside
Jeongguk, acting as if Mr. Kang isn’t even there anymore, before the man
quickly stops them by saying “You seem to know him outside of school, Jeon.”
He feels Taehyung stiffen and strangely, it raises the anger in him.
“Yes,” Jeongguk answers firm and clear, glancing over his shoulders to the man
and he’s not quite sure where the idea comes from but before he could stop
himself, Jeongguk is already uttering it out loud. “Of course I know my own
boyfriend.”
The air falls into a deafening silence. Taehyung’s staring at him as if
Jeongguk’s already lost his brain. Mr. Kang’s scrutinizing him like he’s an
alien just learned to speak human language.
And Jeongguk doesn’t regret his words.
“Boyfriend?” The teacher repeats in disbelief. “Are you two…”
Jeongguk’s about to open his mouth, bullshitting his way in this lie he’s so
instantly created but then Taehyung steps in front of him, tall and confident
in the posture before he holds firm of Mr. Kang’s gaze and declares the lie.
“He is my boyfriend,” he speaks like it’s the only truth in the world. “That’s
why I’m no longer having any customers. He transferred school to be together
with me.”
Jeongguk loses idea of how the situation could be so fucked up.
But somehow, he likes this game.
So he’s going to play along, until he wins.
Chapter End Notes
     Can you actually believe this story turned out to be another fake
     dating au that no one asked for? I'm such an idiot when it comes to
     Taekook. Blood, Sweat & Tears is lit thou. (I make no sense, I know.
     Any comments or thoughts, perhaps?)
***** More than a Wish *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Jeongguk doesn’t know what to do with his hands.
As of the moment, he doesn’t even understand why he’s got these hands when he
can’t actually use them.
And it’s all Kim Taehyung’s fault.
It’s him who dragged them away from the club backstreet after they stunned the
shit out of Mr. Kang. With their lie. Their stupid,stupid, mindless lie. (Now
in the eyes of that douchebag, I’m your boyfriend. And you’re my boyfriend. And
we’re boyfriends. And then what?) But surely Jeongguk can’t question it out
aloud to the senior. It’s Taehyung’s fault after all. It’s him who passed by
the entire building of the club and down the streets, only to stop by a 24/
7 convenient store, acting as if he didn’t just hold Jeongguk’s hand all
through it. It’s him who left Jeongguk to stand in confusion, feeling like he
just lost something from his palm before he came back out from the store with a
cup of coffee and wordlessly directed them to sit by a bench just outside of
it. It’s him, who looks particularly small, now, next to Jeongguk as he holds
the paper cup in his hands like the warmth of it is enough to shield him from
the breezy night. It’s him who’s still shivering, shivering, from the corner of
Jeongguk’s eyes with reddish skin by the tip of his nose and sparkly eyes
resembling a kicked puppy all just to tug the guilt straight from the younger’s
heart. It’s Taehyung. It’s all him.
Taehyung and his high-as-Mount-Everest stack of faults.
They all are insulting Jeongguk’s hands.
Why?
Because there’s nothing he can do about it.
He wants to do something with his hands. Like take off his jacket and hand it
over to Taehyung. Or maybe wrap it around his shoulders. Because he’s
shivering, damn it. And his useless coffee doesn’t do the best job apparently.
He also might want to pull his hand back into his palm, because that way he can
rub it with his own to create some friction, or to ask Taehyung ‘why are you so
quiet? Talk to me. Just say something, please.’ Or his hands might as well make
use of themselves by curling around Taehyung and pulling him close to him,
space be damned, because he doesn’t like seeing Taehyung like this.
Distant, void eyes and seemingly lost.
He would rather Taehyung look like the first time he laid eyes on him. Coy,
confident and steel enough like nothing in the world could ever stomp him over.
He was from the club, so he’s dressing like Vnow.
V-neck shirt exposing such clean clavicles, black boots and black material
looking more like his second skin than a pair of jeans. He looks gorgeous,
delicious even, albeit a bit helpless withstanding the cold without any coat.
Yet he’s nothing like V in the expression. He is Taehyung right now.
Kim Taehyung with no word slips out of his mouth but eyes that speak a thousand
other stories. Kim Taehyung who always seems like he wants to push Jeongguk
away, to leave him alone, but never asks a question whenever Jeongguk pops out
around him as if he has business with his life. Kim Taehyung, who should be
hated by Jeongguk because they are enemies and Jeongguk is here for revenge,
but now he pathetically doesn’t know what to do not just with his hands, but
also with his heart as his entirety speaks—screams—for him to protect Taehyung.
From who? From the cold? Mr. Kang? His father? Or Jeongguk himself?
Jeongguk curses deep from the bottom of his heart as he looks away. Still
trying not to move his hands. Or else he’ll be doing something stupid.
All the stupid things his heart urges him to do.
His mind, his far-more-rational mind, needs to take over now. So he clears his
throat first thing first only to choke halfway when Taehyung turns to glance at
him.
Finally, meeting him straight in the eyes.
“I know what you must be thinking.” You have no idea what I’m thinking about. I
want to give up my whole clothes just so you could be wrapped like a blanket
burrito all at the same time to punch you in the face because you’re a hooker.
Why must you sleep with my dad? Of all people? Jeongguk slowly, very subtly
shakes his head, because he’s blabbering in there but doesn’t open his mouth to
respond, giving Taehyung space to continue.
“We’re just a bunch of dumb people, making money by sleeping around with
shitheads who are willing to pay. So there’s no harm if we’re doing business
again and again with the same person. It’s just business after all,” he tries
to sound like he’s discussing the weather, like he’s not disgusted with what
he’s living on but Jeongguk isn’t blind. He sees the whole black ocean in
Taehyung’s eyes, with giant waves and thunderstorm wrecking everything and
Taehyung’s there, stuck on the only tiny island in the middle with no way out
unless he throws himself in the ocean. Taehyung briefly closes his eyes, but
Jeongguk still couldn’t grasp why he is there, why he lives that way.
“But since it is business, there’s a policy that comes with it. Which we’re
only allowed to go beyond the customers’ pants, but not their personal deals.
Not their job, their address or even their pet. If they have any,” the senior
stops to chuckle, finding the idea of his customers keeping rabbit and goldfish
around is amusing since they pay to fuck. What a nasty contradiction, even to
Jeongguk.
But then he realizes this is maybe the reason why Taehyung still doesn’t have
the clue who is he. He couldn’t see the dots from Jeongguk to Dr. Jeon. It
makes Jeongguk wonder what kind of shitty fakeness Dr. Jeon might’ve told
Taehyung. He might gags if he thinks any further.
“That was why when Mr. Kang came to the club, I took him like any other
customers. He wasn’t supposed to be a regular, but he kept coming back. And he
paid real good. So I had him just for extra money until he paid some bastard to
find out my background and the next day, he was there as my archery trainer.”
Jeongguk listens to his quiet voice, calculating if his father has the same
addiction as Mr. Kang that causes him to have Taehyung more than a night. “I
didn’t even take him serious when he said he wanted to make us possible beyond
the club business but there he was, and he is now, still trying to pursue me to
accept him back.”
In the end, Jeongguk can just conclude this whole one-night-stand deal is a
huge, harrowing mess. They aren’t supposed to have any string attach to the
hooker. No feelings, just fucking. Why can’t they see that Taehyung is only
there for money?
Why can’t his father see that?
Why does he have so much money and time on him?
Jeongguk hates, despises, this. The more he understands, the more he feels like
committing murder. To Mr. Kang. To his dad. And even to—
“But dirty hooker or not, I have a life to keep up with, you know. I can’t just
accept his money to turn things easier in my life. And I still need the club to
believe that I haven’t broken the policy.” Taehyung locks gaze with him again
and tilts his head, smiling knowingly, “even when I already fucked it up.
Twice.”
Jeongguk cringes at this.
“I’m not that low,” he tries to defend himself. “We made a deal already. You
come with me to the gala and nobody in the school, or anywhere on earth, will
know that you’re working there. I won’t be that petty to break a promise.”
Taehyung snorts as he crushes the empty cup in his hands, aiming to shoot it
like a basketball into a garbage tank nearby their bench. “But how can I trust
you? How can I know that you won’t leak anything out after the gala?”
“Seriously? I just lied to save your ass.”
“You lied to cause more troubles on me,” Taehyung corrects him a second faster
before he gets to blurt anything else.
“You went along with it, still.” Jeongguk rolls his eyes, but never denies it
because true, he lied about them being boyfriends so that 1) he can pester the
hell out of Kim Taehyung about it and 2) that’s the only thing that came to his
mind just now. Geez. “You should’ve whacked him in the face, and yelled for him
to not come and bother you again. Why would you agree anyway?” He adds as an
afterthought.
“Because I’m tired,” says Taehyung, almost inaudible under his breath as he
closes his eyes and hangs his head over the back of the bench, face open to the
sky. “I need him to fuck off. I’m just a wild night for people, why would he
need me more than that? Why me?”
Jeongguk quiets to the questions that he has no answer for. He’s side-glancing
Taehyung long enough for him to feel annoyed at himself for not being able to
look away. Because Taehyung isn’t crying, but he looks so fragile like Jeongguk
can just touch his fingertip to Taehyung and he will break. As easy as that.
And Jeongguk hates it even more when Taehyung makes it easy for him. He loathes
to be seen like the villain with hidden, evil intentions on Taehyung when the
mistakes are actually all on the senior’s side. He isn’t the bad guy, Taehyung
is.
Taehyung’s eyelids flutter open (as something else also flutters in Jeongguk’s
stomach) before he turns completely to face him, one cheek pressed to the
bench, as Jeongguk’s still watching him closely, directly. He reaches forward
to peel a lost strand away from his shirt and Jeongguk stiffens to the press of
his fingertip upon his chest. As easy as that. 
“Take responsible, Jeon Jeongguk,” the senior whispers, flattening all five of
his fingers against his chest instead of retrieving them back. “You started
this, so you have to finish it. Until he gives up on me.”
It’s probably just two minutes, yet it feels like two decades long before they
stop staring at each other—Taehyung stops staring at him—as he blinks away and
stands up. He takes a first step to leave Jeongguk without saying more but the
junior prevents it, sticking his leg in Taehyung’s way.
“Then I have the right to know,” he says just as Taehyung hesitantly looks
again at him. “You said you’re not allowed to know anything personal about your
customers. As long as they stand below their limit, they can still come back.
So why am I blacklisted? You said it yourself that I’m not your customer. I
should be able to go to the club and have nothing to do with you. So why can’t
I?”
Taehyung eyes him for another minute before he chuckles, shaking his head like
Jeongguk just asked something stupid.
“Armani suit, Rolex watch…,” Taehyung mumbles while traveling his gaze from
Jeongguk’s chest and down to his wrist. His face is once again serious when he
meets Jeongguk’s eyes. “You are nothing less than a spoiled rich brat, Jeon
Jeongguk. Don’t waste your time in the club. In fact, don’t waste anything
there.”
Jeongguk opens his mouth to argue but Taehyung holds up his palm, asking
Jeongguk to let him finish. He starts with a heavy sigh.
“There’s always another person, stuck in that place, who wishes he could be
somewhere else to live with the amount of money you already have. So quit be
ungrateful and do something with your life.”
He lets his hand fall to his side, a gesture so much like a person giving up.
Then he turns his back entirely to Jeongguk’s sight. “Go back and study, you
infant,” is the only thing he throws over his shoulders, alongside with a
smirk, before he walks ahead and Jeongguk jerks to his feet.
“Don’t fucking tell me what to do!”
“Sulky infant, you have so much maturity huh?” Taehyung retorts through a
chuckle, even when he’s getting farther from Jeongguk.
Jeongguk squints to his retreating back, running out of excuses to make him
stay until he sees Taehyung hug his arms around his body and Jeongguk cusses,
hating his own self more than he hates Taehyung at the moment.
“Yah, Kim Taehyung!”
The senior pauses, shifting only his head to look back at Jeongguk, and
startles a bit to stretch out his hands when Jeongguk’s suit jacket comes
flying to him.
“Take that, asshole.” It’s Jeongguk’s turn to smirk at the senior’s bewildered
stare. “You can’t even manage a coat despite working for the money, can you?”
Taehyung blinks before “I don’t fucking need your pity—”
“I don’t pity you, doll face.” Jeongguk presses to stop Taehyung from throwing
the jacket back to him. “I just don’t want you to die.”
Taehyung lowers the hand that’s fisting his jacket, frowning at him instead.
Jeongguk somehow smiles, feeling relief even when he doesn’t move to wear it.
“You need the money to survive, right? Then don’t die over petty things, like
wind.” Jeongguk tells him, cheeky smile still on his face even as he pivots
around to leave toward the opposite path taken by Taehyung. He shoves his hands
into his pockets, resisting the urge to check whether the senior is using his
coat or not. But Jeongguk has never been good with temptation so he chances a
quick look back and it makes him stop walking.
The senior is continuing his way back to the club, but he’s no longer
shivering, protected by Jeongguk’s jacket all around his body. In fact, he’s
drowned in it that it somehow triggers Jeongguk to almost run back to him.
Don’t go, just stay with me.
God, Taehyung isn’t the bad guy. He is.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
“God, Lord, Jesus, give me a break,” is the first thing Taehyung mutters with
an I-am-200%-done-with-you face upon noticing Jeongguk arrange his way straight
to him as soon as he enters the club for their evening curriculum.
“How can you have a break when someone’s watching you like you’re a naked cupid
holding a bow?” Jeongguk casually questions, wriggling his eyebrows as he
indicates about Taehyung who’s in the middle of his archery training, to Mr.
Kang who leans against the wall across from where they are standing right now,
shamelessly staring upon the senior as if he couldn’t get enough of him.
Taehyung doesn’t hide his disgusted face but he turns back toward the aim board
just so he could ignore Jeongguk as well.
“Well, thanks for mentioning it. Now I feel like quitting school instead of
just skipping the practice today.”
Jeongguk chuckles, standing right behind of Taehyung, and leans to whisper next
to his ear as he can feel how intense their trainer is burning hole on their
back. “Don’t skip, I’m here,” he likes it when he feels Taehyung still his
movement to his voice. His desire to tease rises all that higher.
“Yourboyfriend is responsible on all of this, remember?”
Taehyung clears his throat, aiming again to release his arrow. “Forget it. I’ll
just kill you first, then kill him, and then quit myself from this school. The
end.”
“Hmm, sounds like a brilliant plan, baby.” Jeongguk grabs the chance a second
before Taehyung lets go the string of his bow to snake his arms around his
waist and the arrow misses the aim, projecting so far away from the exact angle
to reach the board. Taehyung grunts while Jeongguk plants his laughter in
Taehyung’s nape, tightening his hold even when the senior tries to elbow him
away.
“Fuck’s sake, go away! I need to focus.” He’s still trashing around but the
junior just wouldn’t budge.
“Focus then. I told you to adjust your shoulder and bow alignment.” Taehyung
only stops moving when Jeongguk fixates his arms and the way he’s holding up
his bow. He thinks of stepping back so that Taehyung can have his successful
shoot but then…Jeongguk drops a kiss to the side of his neck and smirks when
Taehyung flinches. “Or is it because I make you distracted? Am I distracting
you, baby?”
Taehyung sucks in a sharp inhale, tilting his head to scold Jeongguk while the
junior’s already sniggering, not even once lowering his grip from his waist.
“Jeon, Kim,” their flirtatious banter gets interrupted when a rough voice calls
out and both of them glance around to see Mr. Kang already stand with hands on
his hips right behind the two. His stern gaze is enough to tell everyone that
he wishes nothing more than for Jeongguk to disappear. “Stop acting indecent,
this is school.”
Jeongguk lets out a snort as he pulls Taehyung flushed against his chest,
silently grateful when the senior stays there. “We will, if you stop eye-
fucking him—”
“You—” Mr. Kang’s face glows red.
“—this is school.”
Jeongguk’s posture remains calm, holding Taehyung gently even when the
intensity in his eyes is challenging the trainer to retort anything back to
them. But the silence is suffocating Taehyung, especially when Mr. Kang looks
like he’s a second away to land his fist on Jeongguk and possibly grab Taehyung
away from there so he clears his throat and wriggles himself free from
Jeongguk.
“You practice,” he pushes the bow into the junior’s arms as Jeongguk looks
askance at him. “I need a drink.”
Only once Taehyung leaves to a vending machine nearby that Mr. Kang and
Jeongguk stop their eye-contact war. The junior wanders his attention around,
checking if any other members of the club could sense the cold tension between
the three of them but no one really cares, either too absorbed in their
training or simply gossiping around. Which is good, because God knows they
can’t handle another curious ass.
He directs his eyes back to Taehyung, making sure that Mr. Kang isn’t anywhere
around him. The president, Jeonghan, is approaching Mr. Kang with a weird
clipboard, seemingly discussing this and that long enough for Jeongguk to be
assured that he won’t go to disturb the senior again but as he’s about to
resume his own training, it’s Taehyung himself who attracts his focus.
He should be doing nothing, really. Just drinking and enjoying his Coke by the
side of the machine. Yet he’s doing it so cutely, Jeongguk can’t leave him
alone. He puts Taehyung’s bow down and walks over to him.
“Aren’t you going to share? Couple shares drink, you know.” Jeongguk’s back
again with his 101 Plans to irritate Kim Taehyung which the senior only rolls
his eyes, blatantly rejecting his request by downing the rest of the Coke, eyes
roaming everywhere past Jeongguk until he squints at something—or rather
someone—and puts down the bottle to crawl towards Jeongguk.
“What the—” Jeongguk almost flips them flat on the ground, furrowing up to
Taehyung when the senior climbs into his lap and winds his arms tight around
his neck. He’s covering Jeongguk’s mouth with his own even before the junior
gets to finish his question, leaving Jeongguk with no choice but to grip his
hips to stable them both while he’s crouching.
At first Jeongguk doesn’t get why Taehyung’s kissing him. Kissing him
passionately, since he can feel his tongue sliding into Jeongguk’s easily
parted mouth. But then he’s not just tasting Taehyung’s tongue or teeth or
lips, he’s also gulping the remaining of Coke that Taehyung manages to transfer
into the cavern of his mouth. Jeongguk snaps his eyes close and swallows
thirstily, feeling Taehyung giggles on his mouth.
“I’m a hooker. I know a thing or two about couple’s disgusting things,”
Taehyung reasons once they part away, both swallowing for sufficient air after
losing it for the unnecessary lip-locking. Jeongguk tugs the corner of his lips
into a handsome smirk, but doesn’t move to push Taehyung off his lap. He fists
the back of Taehyung’s uniform to keep him close.
“Or you just wanted to kiss me,” he murmurs, brushing their noses together. And
Taehyung makes a face to respond.
“Or I just smashed my mouth to yours just so you could shut the hell up.”
“Oh? That’s why you put your tongue in me?” And that’s just the right time when
two female sophomores reach the vending machine with the innocent intention to
purchase their drinks only to catch the gist of Jeongguk’s dirty talk and they
gasp, quickly bowing to Taehyung when the senior glares, frantically (and
uselessly) trying to cover up Jeongguk’s mouth with his palm.
The girls scramble away, leaving Jeongguk who cackles behind Taehyung’s palm
and the senior who regrets his life choices. He pushes Jeongguk’s face backward
with his palm. “Aish, your mouth.”
Jeongguk’s eyes twinkle with mirth, loving the pretty rosy blush gracing
Taehyung’s cheeks. He suggests instead, “you can kiss me again to shut me up.
I’m starting to love this method anyway.”
“I pity your real boyfriend.” The senior scrunches his nose and pushes against
Jeongguk’s shoulders to finally get up but oh boy, how wrong he is. Don’t get
into the lion’s cage if you don’t wanna be eaten—Jeongguk forces him down onto
his lap again and Taehyung hisses out loud.
“Give me your number,” he demands despite the senior’s disapproving frowns. His
face distorts into deeper confusion hearing it. “I’m sorry that I’m sane enough
to not give you that?”
“Duh, this is another couple thing. Exchange contacts and set it with matching
wallpaper,” Jeongguk states like it’s a common sense, foolish enough for
Taehyung if he doesn’t agree on it but Taehyung could only stare on him for a
minute before he sighs, shaking his head.
“You’re so seventeen.”
Jeongguk clicks his tongue and fishes out Taehyung’s phone straight from the
pocket of his trousers, ignoring Taehyung’s ‘hey!’ as he quickly switches on
the camera mode and holds it up in front of them to snap a selfie.
“I’m normal. Now smile,” Taehyung doesn’t smile. He glares once there’s a soft
click comes from his phone and surely when Jeongguk checks it out, he whines in
dissatisfaction.
“You look hideous and you didn’t smile. I told you to smile!”
“I didn’t know how to smile and I never had couple photos before! How to act
dumb when you’re not dumb?”
Jeongguk throws Taehyung a look that says ‘seriously?’ before he deletes the
picture and forcefully pulls Taehyung to him so that he can paste their cheeks
side by side, camera ready for another snap.
“Don’t flatter yourself. Just do any shitty cute pose, come on!” He scolds the
senior to stay still but only when Mr. Kang corners around the vending machine
that Taehyung huffs, giving up, and directs his face so that his lips meet
Jeongguk’s cheek. The picture’s snapped before Jeongguk lowers the phone back
to them, smiling to himself when it shows him a scene of Taehyung kissing his
cheek with a big grin on Jeongguk’s face. They lookadorable and visually
perfect together.
Jeongguk probably likes it a bit more than he should.
Which leads him to look up at the still-frowning Taehyung and lands another
kiss, just on the soft skin below his eye, simply because he wants to.
“Is he still staring at us?” Taehyung questions as he took the extra affection
as another collection of their lovey-dovey acts.
Jeongguk peers at Mr. Kang through Taehyung’s shoulders. The trainer does
notice that they are together like permanent glue but he isn’t staring solely
on them anymore. He walks straight ahead and channels his observation upon the
training but of course, how can Jeongguk explain that he kissed him just
because he felt like it?
“Yeah…,” he lies, yet doesn’t stop him when Taehyung turns to confirm it
himself.
“But he’s gone already! Look, Jeongguk, he’s turned his back on us. Why did you
ask me to take pic—”
“God, no, okay? He didn’t even spare a look at us anymore. I just wanted to
kiss you, so what?”
The honesty leaves them both silent in their conflicted emotions.
“We’re only faking all this, in case you forget.” Taehyung breaks the silence
after a few minutes, which Jeongguk snorts at. He doesn’t entertain it when
something breaks inside of him at Taehyung’s reminder.
“I know, and that’s why it needs to look real. That’s why you need to stop
complaining and set this as your wallpaper,” he pushes the phone back to its
owner, already made a missed-call to his own phone so that he can save his
number later.
“I can’t,” Taehyung refuses again, nothing is easy when it comes to him.
“Why?”
“My friends will misunderstand!”
“Are you from 18th century or something? Put a passcode to your phone!”
And the rest of club activity goes by like that; Jeongguk and Taehyung keep on
bickering on every single thing. But they never truly leave each other’s side,
choosing to stick close together since Mr. Kang also doesn’t give up the idea
of spying them. At one point, Jeonghan also comes to ask how the two of them
can grow so close within the span of less than two weeks knowing each other but
Jeongguk just smiles suggestively meanwhile Taehyung says he’s been friendly to
juniors since 1995, excuse you.
Jeonghan doesn’t believe him, of course. Which Taehyung chooses to leave his
curiosity as an on-going mystery until the time for them to go back and Mr.
Kang has tried to lure Taehyung to stay back but Jeongguk sweeps up their bags
and Taehyung’s hand and drags him out much to the trainer’s dismay.
They’re still unconsciouslyholding hands as they reach the front gate, where
Yugyeom’s there, waiting to pick up Jeongguk for their dance training after
that. He launches forward excitedly as soon as his best friend comes into view,
not quite noticing how focused Jeongguk is upon the boy next to him.
“Jeonggukie, what took you so long? I was—”
They both stop walking right before him, blinking as they finally realize
reality isn’t just involved the two of them, but also the world and people
around them. Jeongguk follows Yugyeom’s pointed stare upon their entwined hands
when he suddenly shuts up.
“Wait, wow. This school allowed gays? I should transfer here!” There comes
Yugyeom’s lighthearted comment once he recovers from his slight shock but
Jeongguk snorts and pushes his chin towards a car waiting by the side of the
road. Taehyung’s still quiet, watching Yugyeom’s outrageous grin on them,
possibly doesn’t believe how a human can smile that big.
“It doesn’t, just get into the car.”
He gets a roll of Yugyeom’s eyes in return. “Okay. Hurry up, loser.”
With an energetic wave from his best friend, Yugyeom leaves them and Jeongguk
looks sideway, checking on Taehyung who halfheartedly waves back. He chuckles.
“That’s Yugyeom. I’m not sure you remember him from the club or not.”
Taehyung glances up to him. “Yeah, I think I saw him before.”
Jeongguk knows he should leave, he’s got a dance practice to catch up with, but
he also really doesn’t want to lose the warmth of Taehyung’s large hand. He
gazes down and shakes them.
“Are you going to let go or I have to take you with me?”
He wishes Taehyung agreed on the second. But this is Taehyung, all kind of
affections are absolutely for a show and there’s no Mr. Kang around so Taehyung
jerks a little at his question and wrenches his hand free quickly after that.
Jeongguk instantly misses his hand.
Which is crazy.
Jeongguk tries not to look like a kid whose candies are being stolen from.
Taehyung says nothing more to stop him from walking to the car but two steps
ahead and Jeongguk looks back. Taehyung glances up so fast it springs a
strange, hopeless hope in Jeongguk’s heart.
“Make me a list,” he says as he stares longingly on Taehyung.
“Of what?”
“Ways to Become Kim Taehyung’s Perfect Boyfriend.”
Jeongguk could tell he wants to smile, if the ways Taehyung clears his throat
and shyly avoids his eyes are any indication. Yet Taehyung replies with “you’re
stupid. I’m not listening to you.”
“I’m serious. Just do it, I’ll ask for it next time.”
He leaves, but he’s pretty sure a part of him, an unnamed part, stays with
Taehyung.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
It’s 11:45 p.m. to midnight when Jeongguk finds himself in front of the door to
Dr. Jeon’s office. Seokjin has long gone from his small partition just next to
the door, probably already comfortable at his place to have his much needed
rest while Jeongguk can still see the light brightening the room inside from
the gap under the door, signaling to Jeongguk that his father’s still working
despite the late hours. He tightens the grip on the strap of his bag, battling
with himself whether it’ll work out or not if he discusses the matter currently
bothering his mind.
It’s 25th October this upcoming weekend and it’s his mother’s birthday.
Jeongguk knows without the lady mentioning it that she wishes for them to
celebrate it together this year. Another year where she survives her illness.
Another year where she lives.
Jeongguk wants disappointment and sadness be the last things his mother would
feel on that day so he brings his fist up to knock, wanting to ask—and beg if
he has to—for his father to spend at least the whole day with her. Even if the
old man doesn’t do it upon his own accord.
But it hurts. It hurts to think for his mother to be treated any less than she
deserves, so Jeongguk swallows his whole intention and walks away from the
door.
If his father wants to do something for her, the gesture has to come with
sincerity. His own sincerity. Jeongguk doesn’t want to ask him of anything and
make his sorry ass look good.
Because his mother deserves no more lie.
He slowly enters her hospital room, avoiding from disturbing her sleep and just
wanting to accompany her the whole night as he usual does when he looks up only
to widen his eyes because his mother isn’t on the bed but she’s moving around,
in the middle of packing her bag.
“Ah honey, you’re here! Listen, I have good news for you! I’m allowed to
discharge starting from tomorrow so I’ll be back home and we can prepare for my
birthday party!” Jeongguk rushes over to her, clicking his tongue
disapprovingly as he takes the pile of clothes from her and helps arranging
them into the bag. Mrs. Jeon laughs, patting his hair.
“Mom, what are you doing moving here and there? You shouldn’t skip your sleep.
The doctor said you need proper rest so go and lie down. I’ll pack the rest
of—”
“Aish, the doctor said I’m fine, Gukkie-ah. Stop worrying.” The lady assures
him, trying to wrestle the bag from Jeongguk but the son shakes his head,
equally stubborn.
“No. How do you expect me to stop—”
“What do you wanna eat, darling? I’m going grocery-shopping tomorrow so it’s
your chance to feed that stomach some good food.” Mrs. Jeon singsongs, then
laughs when it effectively stops Jeongguk from blabbering. Food always does,
especially when Jeongguk only gets to enjoy his mother’s cooking whenever she’s
healthy enough to be out of hospital.
Pitiful, but Jeongguk doesn’t want to think of it. He flashes his cheerful,
bunny smile instead, the one he knows always wins her heart.
Directing his mother back to sit on her bed, Jeongguk then starts listing the
entire menu he’s missed so much to be cooked exclusively by her while Mrs. Jeon
listens attentively, laughing now and then at his jokes until Jeongguk asks her
back of what present she would want from him this year and the lady hums,
pretending to think.
“I don’t want anything that you can get from money so can I ask for something
different?”
Jeongguk scrunches his nose, as if he’s complaining, but the way he clasps
their hands together already indicates that he will agree on anything that she
wants.
“I’m thinking to revisit an old folks’ home that I used to volunteer at before.
It’s been a while since I last checked on them. Would you come and volunteer
with me as well?” His mother’s face is hopeful but Jeongguk huffs listening to
it, already know where this conversation will end.
“Mom…,” Mrs. Jeon pinches his nose affectionately to his soft calling, which
only causes Jeongguk to roll his eyes. “You got one chance to discharge and
rest at home and you choose to start volunteering again? How can I allow that,
mom?”
The woman tuts, “I’m not dead yet, Jeonggukie—”
“Mom!”
“—I should make myself useful as long as I still can. Besides, there’s a
grandma—Mrs. Kim her name, I think—which I really would love to meet again. So
are you in or I’ll be visiting the folks alone?”
Jeongguk lets out a sigh, knowing that once his mother decides to do something,
there’s no stopping for her to achieve whatever she aims—a trait perfectly
inherited by Jeongguk. “Whatever makes you happy, mom.”
“Yeay!” She cheers like a true five-year-old, much to Jeongguk’s amusement
before he remembers something and swallows, hesitant to ask.
“Is there…is there anything you want from dad?”
It freezes the lady from smiling, which Jeongguk hates it so much that he
curses himself hard in the head for slipping the stupid question out. His
mother looks back up at him, reading his face for a minute before a smile
cracks by a corner of her lips and she murmurs, small but wishful, “I’d be
really thankful if he shows up at home on my birthday, Gukkie-ah.”
That makes Jeongguk instantly stands up and engulfs his mother into a tight
hug, closing his eyes. He hears her chuckle while she returns his embrace as
Jeongguk fists her hospital dress, determined.
Then show up, he will; Jeongguk thinks as he begins plotting out on how to get
his father where she wishes him to be, by crook or by hook.
Mrs. Jeon needs to be happy, because that’s all that matters to him.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
“Whoa! Shit, what are you doing? Sleep somewhere else, you punk!”
Jeongguk opens his right eye lazily. The person who just woken him already
disappeared from his sight. He forces himself to sit up, scratching his neck.
After half an hour trying to sleep unsuccessfully, Jeongguk concludes the
library isn’t the right place to skip class and do nothing. A lot of gasps and
‘oh my god!’ and someone stepped on his leg, another was almost tripped and the
last shout definitely a sign that the library is no good. Jeongguk doesn’t even
think there are so many people would come here, not to mention in between the
on-going lessons.
Giving up, Jeongguk grumpily stands up and brushes clean his trousers. He
remembers to pick up his bag before walking past an aisle between two high
shelves when he catches sight of movement and weird noises at the far end of
that aisle which makes him to pause and watch. There, leaning to the wall, two
lovers are making out. The taller boy bends his back to kiss the slightly
shorter boy who cranks his neck backward to return the kiss as eagerly. The
taller boy has his arms wrapped his boyfriend in a tight embrace while his
lover’s hands are all over his nape and hair, roaming like he couldn’t get
enough.
Jeongguk doesn’t need the full view of that shorter boy to confirm that it’s
his Archery Club’s president who’s in the middle of a heated make out now. He
could only smile to himself, unable to believe of how easy he is to find gay
couple in this school before he decides to leave them alone when another person
suddenly pushes through the gap of the shelves and hits the couple each on
their heads with a book. They groan in pain as they pull apart and Jeongguk
recognizes Jimin as the boy who’s being glared on.
“Yah, quit sucking face! The online results are out so let’s check ‘em out
together!” Jimin scolds the couple like an over-worried parent and they just
grumble their response before following the shortest one out of the aisle.
Jeongguk should really leave, since there’s nothing important he can see.
Except that thought evaporates completely in the air when he thinks of Jeonghan
and Jimin and another member in their group of friends possibly present in the
library as well.
And Jeongguk’s been dying to see him.
So he quietly follows the path which the three disappear to until he stops
behind a shelf and peeks over to see that Jimin, Jeonghan and his boyfriend
approach a table where the fourth member’s sitting there, Taehyung.
He’s too absorbed in sketching something, nose buried deep between the pages of
that book that he doesn’t even look up when his friends fill the chairs around
him and Jimin moves to scroll his phone, seemingly looking at a list. Jeonghan
and his boyfriend join him to duck their heads together, studying the screen.
“Dammit, I thought I’d score higher,” Jeonghan’s boyfriend scratches his head,
frustrated as he slumps his body back against the chair. “And how the hell you
managed to score better than me?” He snaps at Jimin who’s still frowning to the
screen across from him.
Jimin throws him a dirty look, offended. “Hey, I studied!”
“Oh come on, Seungcheol-ah, at least you don’t have to repeat this test.
History of Art, ugh, whyyy,” Jeonghan whines, leaning over to his boyfriend,
Seungcheol, and hiding his face into his neck as Seungcheol strokes up and down
his back soothingly, murmuring “yeah, baby. Good luck with that,” which
Jeonghan responds with a smack upon his thigh.
“Why don’t I find Tae’s name yet?” Jimin’s still busy scrolling through the
result.
The said boy peers up from his sketchbook upon the mention of his name but he
doesn’t move to help Jimin finding his result. In fact, he doesn’t even look
intrigued as he gives all three of his friends a bored once-over before
resuming back to his sketch. Jeonghan snorts looking at his calm demeanor and
taps Jimin under his chin to gain his attention.
“Jimin, try check the lowest part of the list.”
“Lowest part? Isn’t that for all the high scorers?” But Seungcheol loses his
patience to wait for Jimin so he grabs the phone from him and drags the bar
scroller straight to the bottom of the page and shoves it back to Jimin’s face
once he’s found a certain KIM TAEHYUNG typed on the screen.
“…Kim Taehyung, number one?! What?! You scored the highest for History of Art?!
This guy???” Jimin turns to the uninterested Taehyung. Jeonghan sniggers upon
Jimin’s surprise-struck face meanwhile Seungcheol gets up and slings his arm
around Taehyung’s neck, stopping him from focusing on his sketch. “This calls
for a nice treat, right Taehyungie?”
“What? Why should I?” Taehyung frowns and struggles to free himself but
Seungcheol’s bigger and stronger, he doesn’t budge even a little.
“Because I’m pissed that a guy who spends fifty percent of his day at school
with sketching useless doodles is actually the smartest guy in History of Art.”
Taehyung frowns deeper before he finally puts down his pen and gropes for
something from inside his pocket. It turns out to be a lollipop as he slowly
offers it up to Seungcheol, “…do you want this?”
Seungcheol snorts while Jimin and Jeonghan burst into laughter and that’s when
Jeongguk steps into the scene as he snatches the lollipop off Taehyung’s hand,
causing the four seniors to glance up at him. He grins down at Taehyung,
focusing only on him.
“It’s so good to see you here, sunbae-nim. Mind if I join in?” He’s already
pulling the empty chair beside Taehyung even as he’s asking for his permission.
Taehyung doesn’t answer him, resorting to only raise his eyebrow to Jeongguk
but Jeonghan does, grinning bright as ever. “Sure, are you in your free period
right now?”
Jeongguk shakes his head, unpeeling the lollipop and sticking it into his mouth
as if it’s offered to him before. “Nope, I skipped the class. It’s History of
Art and it’s boring.”
Jeongguk purposefully rolls his eyes at Taehyung, signaling how fascinated he
is for Taehyung to gain A on such subject while the senior squints at him,
pouting a bit. Jeonghan laughs, agreeing.
“I know, right? But what can you do skipping class in library? I advise you
skip somewhere more exciting, like the school court. You can play basketball.”
“Yeah, I’ll try it next time. But I was just trying to sleep, only to fail
epically because there were so many people in here today.” Jeongguk reasons and
bumps his foot under the table to Taehyung’s when the senior snorts hearing his
failed attempt to sleep. Taehyung throws a glare from the corner of his eyes
which Jeongguk just grins, innocently.
“If you just wanna sleep, then you should try the rooftop. Though I don’t
guarantee it’ll be that comfortable. Or the storage room in the gym, if you
don’t mind the popular spot for making out.” Seungcheol suggest instead, with
Jeonghan giggling and Jimin shaking his head at him but Jeongguk nods like he
thoroughly gets it.
“And the library too? Popular spot for making out?”
This time, only Taehyung understands his humor and he releases a chuckle,
ringing nice and sweet in Jeongguk’s ears. Seungcheol and Jeonghan already turn
red in their faces while Jimin studies the junior solemnly, trying to find out
his intention of suddenly showing up here but Jeongguk’s only interested in
Taehyung. He openly stares at him, enraptured by his short laughter before
Taehyung realizes no one’s laughing with him and immediately clears his throat,
swallowing the sound back.
“Why, sunbae-nim? Is it true that couples make out regularly in library?”
Jeongguk questions the sarcasm on him and Taehyung meets his eyes, smiling his
sweet boxy smile.
“Yeah, it’s a perfect spot for make out.”
“That’s interesting,” Jeongguk rests his elbow on the table and leans his head
closer to the senior, forming their own bubble. “Wanna try it out with me?”
Taehyung flushes, possibly recalling their previous make outs, while Jeongguk
finds himself liking this side of sheepish Taehyung the most. He wonders how
many layers of Taehyung he could peel deeper to find out where else will he
prettily flush. Jeongguk couldn’t wait to reach that point.
Taehyung doesn’t answer his flirt as he collects his sketchbook up, together
with a few other books scattering on the table before he excuses himself
wordlessly from the table and Jeongguk finally notices how hard Jimin’s been
staring at him. Jeongguk simply smiles, bowing a bit to them as he wants to get
up and follow Taehyung but he feels someone tug him down by the wrist.
It’s Jimin. “What do you actually want from our Taehyung?”
Jeongguk forces himself to stay collected. He’ll never get to call Taehyung his
and it somehow pisses him off.
Jeongguk curves up a smile instead, pulling his wrist free from Jimin.
“Nothing. Is something wrong with thinking he’s cute and interesting?”
He waits for any three of them to comment further but they stay quiet. Jeongguk
gives them one last bow before resuming his way down the aisle that Taehyung’s
disappeared to and finds him sitting with his back on one of the shelves, still
sketching.
“Have you made the list that I asked you to?” Taehyung briefly glances sideway
at him, seeing Jeongguk already lowered his butt to the carpet next to him.
Taehyung shrugs.
“You know I have no time to do something pointless like that.”
Jeongguk sighs, frustrated at how stubborn Taehyung can be sometimes, all the
time. “It’s not pointless. I just want us to look real as couple. How can Mr.
Kang stop pestering you if he still doesn’t believe in us?”
Taehyung stops sketching for a second, but refuses to look up at him and
Jeongguk loses his patience as he tries to pluck the sketchbook out of
Taehyung’s lap and the senior flinches, protectively covering the pages.
“What the hell are you doing?” He fights as Jeongguk tugs harder. “I want you
to make the list now. Write them in front of me so that we can discuss about it
straight away.”
“No. Stop—”
But of course Jeongguk’s stronger, having to spend hours in the gym gives him
advantage even against another boy as he pulls with greater force and Taehyung
falls together into his lap as he follows the movement of his sketchbook,
huffing in annoyance. Jeongguk laughs before changes his eyes upon the widely
spread out book and pauses from any movement upon seeing what’s written at the
very last page.
There, the list as requested by him, written with Taehyung’s scrawny
handwriting. There are a hundred of them, from top to the bottom of the page.
Jeongguk picks it up and reads them, one by one.
Taehyung would like his boyfriend to kiss him first in the morning as a way to
wake him up. Taehyung also likes piggyback, back-hug, hugging or cuddling in
general. He likes being pampered with kisses, everywhere, regardless of the
moods he’s in. He hopes his boyfriend knows how to soothe muscle knots out
since he always struggles with cramp in his nape. There are so many other
stupid romantic things he would like to try out with his boyfriend and by the
time Jeongguk reaches the 100th, Taehyung’s already hiding his face in between
his knees as he folds them close to his chest. Jeongguk puts down the book and
smiles at him, unknowingly blushing as well.
“I guess you’re a sucker for fairytale. Only your unreal prince charming will
do all the things in this list,” Jeongguk teases him and sniggers louder when
Taehyung hisses. He moves to snatch the book back from Jeongguk’s lap but the
younger quickly stops him and tears out the page before handing it back to
Taehyung.
“You’re a jerk, but I’ll dream however I wanna dream. It’s my list after all.”
The senior stubbornly tells him, standing up to place back the books he brought
with him from the table just now as Jeongguk shakes his head, eyes trailing
after Taehyung until he disappears around a shelf.
Jeongguk carefully folds the list into a size fit enough to be kept in his
pocket until he feels something vibrate under the side of his thigh and peeks
down, seeing Taehyung’s phone flashing with an incoming call from unknown
number. Jeongguk looks up if Taehyung’s around to hand the phone back to him
but it keeps vibrating and Jeongguk slides the answer button.
“Hello, Taehyung-ah?”
Jeongguk freezes. He would know this voice anywhere.
“Taehyungie, are you there? I just wanna ask you if we’re still meeting this
weekend. 25th October? You said you’re free to meet me right? Where should I
pick you up?”
Jeongguk feels his grip on the phone tighten unforgivingly and the caller
quiets after noticing his quicken breathing.
“Tae? What’s wrong with you? Are you okay? Can you hear me, Tae?”
Jeongguk looks ahead and Taehyung’s walking back to him, stopping before him
with bewildered face when he spots his phone being held by Jeongguk. Ignoring
the man on the line, Jeongguk holds it out and Taehyung frowns, instantly takes
over the call.
“Hello?” Jeongguk watches him all the time, listening to how Taehyung say he’ll
confirm their meeting this weekend at another time before he ends the call,
seemingly even more concerns on Jeongguk’s rapid change of mood. Taehyung keeps
his phone back into his blazer.
“Yah, are you okay?” He tries reaching out to touch Jeongguk’s hair but the
younger steps back and Taehyung’s entire body freezes to the rejection.
Jeongguk doesn’t know how to look straight at him. He should have known this
would happen.
“The caller, are you close with him? He was speaking informally with you.”
Jeongguk doesn’t want to know the answer but Taehyung shakes his head lightly.
“He’s just somebody I know.”
“What plan do you have with him this weekend? Going out for a date?”
“Sort of…”
Jeongguk nods stiffly and leaves Taehyung to stand in confusion there.
Of course. Of course he knows this would have happened. Of course Taehyung’s
occupied for the upcoming 25th October. It’s his mother’s birthday.
It’s the day that his father will leave them behind to go out for a date
instead.
Because the man on the phone was him.
Chapter End Notes
     Can you actually believe I made Tae seem more hateful than he
     actually deserves it? Don't hate him, plez, no matter what. I swear
     I'll come clean with it as we go further. And hopefully some smut in
     the next chap? Opss, I promise nothing.
***** More than a Fate *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Should he go for a kimchi flavored ramen or a buttered bun for his dinner?
So here’s a quick math Taehyung does in his mind; he’s got only about 6,000 Won
left in his dusty pocket after saving the rest of his payment of the week into
that one special bank account he made for his future plans. If he buys the
ramen, he can stay full (or at least, try to) till the time he gets his payment
again in the club tomorrow night but zero cash in hands for any emergency. And
if he buys the bun, he can still keep the remaining 3,000 Won to himself and
use it for his lunch in school just if his stomach decides to be uncooperative
during recess period. Still, even after weighing the pros and cons of both
choices, Taehyung finds there’s nothing about this that he can’t get used to.
He eats something big each time he gets to buy them, and then stays as long as
he can to not spending his money on food again because those payments need to
go straight into his account.
It needs to be filled, or else he won’t be able to get to where he wants to be
in the future. A home to call his own, three rooms for each sibling and one
extra for his grandma, an art gallery with his name as the brand and a fame
which hopefully can take him to be recognized and remembered by that only
person in his life. The person who has left and stays missing to this day. It’s
Taehyung’s sole dream for him to come back. Come back to him, come back to his
siblings and come back to his grandma so that they can be whole again. A
family.
Grabbing the nearest ramen cup he can reach, Taehyung stirs his way back to the
cashier without so much of batting eyes upon the fridge filled with all kind of
soft drinks. That’s another pro of choosing ramen, he thinks, because he needs
not to buy a drink as the soapy ramen can relieve the burn in his throat at the
same time. Like killing two birds with one stone, so yeah.
It’s 12:50 a.m. in the morning that it doesn’t even surprise Taehyung to watch
the cashier who picks up his ramen to be scanned looks a second away from
falling asleep on his feet with his droopy eyes and stifled yawn, moving around
like a sloth. He sighs as he gropes for a fistful of 6,000 Won, wondering if he
takes up the job as a convenient store worker, will it pay as much as the club
does now. Instead of grabbing the money, Taehyung pulls out his phone when it
beeps twice against his skin, indicating a message just came through and
unlocks the screen, revealing to him a wallpaper of him kissing the cheek of a
certain dick named Jeon Jeongguk. A dick who can smile so big with cute bunny
teeth and crinkly eyes it always fucks something up in Taehyung’s heart.
Taehyung winces, feeling the rush of stupidity again and again each time he
stares on their photo because why did he agree on everything that Jeongguk
asked of him? Ignoring the way the cashier gives him a lazy arched eyebrow to
his sudden reddish cheeks, Taehyung taps on the message to channel his mind on
something different, something that is non-Jeongguk because it’s almost fucking
1 o’clock and that boy should be the last thing he would want to think about so
early in the morning.
It turns out the message he received halts not only his thoughts of Jeongguk,
but also the whole world around him.
 
From: Yoongie hyung
Come quick. It’s Taerie again.
 
As if a train just crushed his entirety, Taehyung forces down the violent
shiver spiraling down his spine and the cold air suddenly swooshing into him,
threatening to weaken his knees and root him to where he is as he looks up to
the entrance and shoots out through it, the startled ‘hey!’ from the cashier
fades into everything unimportant in his background as he could only focus upon
one person, Taerie.
Taerie, Taerie, Taerie…
Please be okay, Taerie-ah. Please stay safe for me.
The more Taehyung chants the prayer in his head, and in between his punctuated
frantic breaths, the more he feels the panic creeping up his head and the
farther it seems the place he’s rushing to. Almost there, almost there, he
encourages himself as Taehyung fights the burn in his legs to will them into
running faster and faster until he arrives at a dark alley, lined up by a side
building with a couple of cheap bars, illegal massage parlors, a few drunkards
confusing the pavement with their mattress as they lay there while mumbling
nonsense to themselves and that one and only tattoo parlor by the very end of
street, designed to appear more like a mechanic garage instead of a shop since
the owner (whom Taehyung knows like the back of his hand already) prefers the
badass vibe given off from it with a huge Min’s Body Art graffitied on a board
by the top of the wooden entrance, blinking white bulbs weakly as Taehyung
bursts into the parlor.
He’s out of breath, gasping for oxygen as much as he can the moment his steps
come to a break, worn out sneakers screeching against the tiles, as Taehyung
tilts his head to right and left, looking for that figure who puts him into
this kind of distress until he hears a raspy ‘Breathe, Taerie, breathe…you’re
safe here, I promise,’ from a small, dim corner of the shop that Taehyung spins
his whole body to it. He lands his enlarged eyes upon two people there, both
crouching down on the floor. One seemingly trembles with fisted hands to her
chest and another one is calming her down, palms alternating from rubbing up
and down the small of her back to squeezing assurance into her shoulders.
Encouraging words being whispered close to her ears all the way.
Taehyung inhales deeply, gathering the remaining strength he has in him before
he approaches the panicking girl there because he knows how much she needs him
now. She needs him to be stronger than her. The young girl; sixteen on her ID
card, wavy black curls cascading messily down her shoulders, way too skinny
figure, chapped thin lips and brown pupils blown from the fear and burden she
carries with her are everything that makes her Taehyung’s little sister. She
resembles him so much, especially her beautiful, dark eyes and the small curve
that shapes her face perfectly like an even more broken version of Kim
Taehyung.
Taehyung is already broken, that’s a fact to everyone.
But his sister is similarly a bit more than that. Like pieces of broken glass
being smashed twice and there’s nothing you can do except to stare at the dust
of glasses, hoping the wind could sweep them away so that they wouldn’t hurt
you in case they drift too close. That’s how Taehyung’s sister is, Kim Taerie.
Dropping down to his knees, the man before his sister scoots back to open the
space for Taehyung as he tries to meet Taerie’s eyes which are unfocused right
now, careful as to not touch her so abruptly or she might be shoved deeper into
her panic attack. “Taerie-ah? It’s me, Taehyung—Tae oppa,” he whispers the
words carefully, punctuating each syllable and making sure the girl could hear
and grasp who he is. “Taerie-ah, don’t worry. You know me.”
Her breath is erratic and she’s still clutching onto the shirt above her heart
but after a few repeated whispers, she finally nods.
“That’s good, Taerie-ah. I’m gonna move you to the chair over there, okay?”
Taehyung watches sweats trickle down her forehead as she meekly nods once more.
“Now let’s get you to your feet. I’m going to touch your shoulders, alright?”
He stops, looking for permission, and after another small nod, Taehyung places
his hands on her shoulders, holding her securely in his arms and hoisting her
up.
“You’re doing great, Taerie-ah. Focus on your breathing,” he makes sure to
remind her as they reach a plastic chair nearby the main counter of this parlor
before Taehyung slowly sits her down on it and kneels to the floor in front of
her, arms remain around her. He glances back to where his sister slumped her
body down just now, searching for familiar faded pinky bag in hope to retrieve
her medicine from it but a shake of head from the man still standing there
informs Taehyung instantly that his sister has shown up here unplanned, sudden
with the unwelcome panic attack.
He turns back to her, worry grows in him as he could still feel the constant
shivering of her body under his palms, knowing the clouds he sees in her eyes
are all the ugly memories that bring her to the girl she is now. And Taehyung
hates them so much, hates that his ability only allows him to comfort her but
never could he erase the darkness of those memories from her brain. “…I won’t
leave you,” Taehyung settles instead, words firm and genuine. “You’re safe with
me. It’s scary, but it will end soon. You can do it. Breathe slowly, alright?
Let’s count to ten…”
Taehyung stays in his position, breathing deeply alongside her, telling Taerie
that she’s doing a good job in between. He asks her to repeat the cycle of
counting her breathing up to a couple minutes more that the attack comes to
over and Taehyung cracks a tired smile to her, “you did it, Taerie-ah. I’m so
proud of you.”
This time, no longer preoccupied with her own terrifying thoughts, she looks
away, a realization of what just happened comes out in a form of dark shade of
red on her cheeks but Taehyung shushes her, continue to rub reassuring circles
into the soft inner skin of her elbows as they both know the words were needed.
Taerie needed to hear them, and her older brother is more than ready to pour
them on her regardless of time and place she is in.
All he wants is for her to stay safe, after years of growing up without a
proper pair of parents and after…everything.
He doesn’t even mind or flinch at the sudden change of attitude from Taerie
when she stands up and smoothens the unforgiving wrinkles from her cotton
blouse, pushing Taehyung away so roughly that he almost stumbles flat to the
floor if it’s not for the fact that he’s so accustomed to her behaviors from
years of practice that he already gets back to his feet, regaining his
stability with ease. Despite a sharp glare and a dark look being directed to
him, Taehyung keeps his soft smile on his face, pretending he doesn’t feel the
way the man behind him, Min Yoongi, is watching this repeated scene (the scene
of Taerie on her threatening panic attack and Taehyung rushing to her and
comforting her before she’s back again as a sullen teenager she is, blaming and
accusing everything as Taehyung’s faults) happening right before him with a
straight, unbothered face.
Normal people would ask, he supposes, as Taehyung’s mind takes him back to a
year before when he just recently turned 18 and escaped his way from the
orphanage with a determination to gain his own money and build a better life
for his siblings. He was also on his third night of nothingness when he
attempted to steal a bread from a grocery store nearby and mindlessly ran
around from the cops to find himself at last squeezing for a hideout in this
dark garage (parlor) belonged to Min Yoongi. And that’s why Yoongi’s not going
to ask of anything that’s happening right now because for sure, he’s not normal
people. Fucked up people mingle around the equally fucked up crowd just so they
could feel normal even a bit, and that’s how the story goes. It’s just an
unspoken destiny.
Which is one the things Taehyung is grateful of Yoongi. He never hovers.
The older man is about to reverse away from the room, leaving the two siblings
to get things done only between them when Taerie hisses fiercely to him and
freezes Yoongi from any movement. “Yoongi oppa, I told you not to call him! I
told you no matter what happened to me, this useless douchebag is the last
person you should turn to! Why wouldn’t you listen to me?!”
Yoongi’s face is unchanging, gaze empty and voids of feeling even to the
hurting jab of Taerie’s nail to Taehyung’s chest as her brother catches it,
bringing it down gently in the cradle of his own palm but Taerie wrenches her
finger free as if Taehyung’s an electric-shock, too painful for her to feel.
Taehyung doesn’t let the hurt show on his face, he keeps it cool like all of
this never takes a toll on him. He hears Yoongi sigh from where he’s shoving
his hands into his pockets before the older man says, “yet he’s the only one
who can calm you down. He’s the one whom you trust enough. I can never handle
your mess, Kim Taerie.”
This shuts her up instantly, irritation fading away from her face for a second
before she throws another disgusted look to Taehyung in the next and turns her
back on him. Taehyung stops her by the wrist before she can further walk away.
“Did you stop taking your pills, Taerie? That your panic was attacking you
again?” He just wants to make sure, knowing the worry in his heart won’t ever
completely go away even if Taerie lies to him about her medicine intakes but
she glares at him over her shoulders and pulls her hand back. “Have you not
even thought that maybe I’ve already ran out of it? It’s so easy to live out
here with your own money and all that you forgot that shitty orphanage won’t
spend a Won for you?”
“Taerie, I—then why didn’t you tell me—”
“Because you’re a liar! A huge, big, fucking liar and I don’t ever want to rely
on a liar!”
“Enough, you two rascals!” They both quiet from the loudest shout they can hear
from Yoongi. He’s a man of a few words so when he’s started to actually spit
something out, Taehyung and Taerie know better than to rile him up further. You
don’t want to make Min Yoongi angry, or you’re just asking for a free death
wish.
Taehyung looks away while Taerie bites down her lower lip, controlling her
boiling up emotions while Yoongi paces closer to her and points out to the exit
way. “You, go back to the orphanage. I’m not letting you stay if you’re just
here to make things shittier than they already are.”
Taerie quickly stares at him and her eyes soften, teary again akin to the panic
she just felt. Yoongi ignores it, turning to Taehyung.
“And you, you know where you came from so just get the fuck back to wherever
that is. You’ve seen that she’s back again bitching around which means she’s
okay for now so go, sleep or something. This is my place and I need to fucking
rest,” Yoongi says with finality but Taerie shakes her head and steps forward
to grab Yoongi by his arm, whining in refusal.
“No, oppa, don’t make me go back. Please, you know how they treat me. Just let
me stay the night, oppa. I—”
“Then you’re going to sleep with me by your side,” Taehyung at last steps in
with a firm authority he disciplines his voice into, sick of his sister not
listening to him in goddamn 1 a.m. Taerie tries to walk back but he’s already
catching her elbow and dragging her into a small room they always know Yoongi
reserves for their impromptu stays here.
With Yoongi no longer in their sight, Taehyung gently releases her and closes
the door, leaving it unlock just to give Taerie a freedom in case she really
does want to leave. But when he turns again to face her, she doesn’t. She
climbs into a single, creaky bed by the center of the dark room and curls her
body under a thin blanket, her small back to Taehyung. For a moment he does
nothing more than to stay rooted where he is, watching her wordlessly as his
mind runs a mile in a minute to what else should he do to make her happy, to
make everyone happy.
Knowing bitterly that he’s just as useless as she’s claimed him to be, and
probably a liar too, Taehyung exhales a sigh and takes out a jacket he keeps in
the bag he always slings across his shoulders. He halts for a second, realizing
the jacket is the one he’s got from Jeongguk and contemplating where or not
should he use it. On his second thought, he’s a poor desperate who has nothing
so he should utilize whatever that he has while he’s still having it, so he
slowly drapes his body behind Taerie, movement uncertain to the possibility
that she might throw a fit again, and only begins to relax when he covers the
jacket atop the blanket on her and Taerie doesn’t move, up and down steady to
her slow breathing. Taehyung lies his head down to the pillow next to hers,
still staring upon the back of her nape.
“I’m terribly sorry, Taerie-ah. You should’ve told me about your medicine. I’d
have bought it for you. I’ll even die if I have to just to get you that
medicine. I need you to be safe, sis.”
Taehyung is a minute away from giving up to the exhaustion of his own body,
thinking that she’s gone to sleep when there’s no reply from her but then his
eyes snap open to her soft sniffling.
“Quit lying to me, oppa. You promised me so many things already but I know
they’re all lies. Because none of your promises has ever been granted. You just
keep on lying to me…to Puppy…I hate you more and more when I have nothing left
to believe in.”
Taehyung gulps. His own emotions rising up like a lump of the bitterest bile up
to his throat and Taehyung’s sobbing into the pillow with Taerie even before he
realizes how damp the cotton has turned to under his cheek. And it’s the only
time he allows himself to be weak, vulnerable with all truths come crushing
down on him before Taehyung pulls her to him by the waist, keeping her flushed
against his chest as he hides his tears into her nape and silently says yes,
yes I lied to you. I’ve promised so many things but here you are, and here I am
still. Here we are. I am sorry. Very sorry, Taerie-ah.
A home to call theirs (free from the orphanage, free from the social workers
who pretend to care. Yes, for their pockets to be filled, not for the kids),
three rooms for Taerie, Puppy and him. One extra for their grandma, an art
gallery with his name as the brand, a proper school for his two younger
siblings, a normal, happy life for a sixteen-year-old girl and a six-year-old
boy. A cute flowery dress for her birthday and a set of Legos in a box for him
placed under the tree on Christmas. A fame which hopefully can take him to be
recognized and remembered by that only person in their life. The person who has
left and stays missing to this day. It’s Taehyung’s sole dream, it’s the dream
of the three siblings, for him to come back. Come back to Taehyung, come back
to his siblings and come back to his grandma so that they can be whole again. A
family.
Dream, dream, dream. Gone.
There’s a string of tears on both sides of Taehyung’s cheeks and that’s all
left for him.
He falls asleep with apologies hang on his tongue and all the dreams that he
isn’t quite capable to chase.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
“Her headmistress is here,” Yoongi’s voice is the first thing he gains
consciousness to when Taehyung wakes up probably at dawn, noticing in haze the
soft rays of morning sun through the thin curtain of a window nearby. He
glances to his side for Taerie only to see that she’s up again, leaning against
the headboard opposite from him with his phone in her hands, entertaining
herself with games as if she didn’t hear what Yoongi just said. The older man
adds as an afterthought from the door he’s standing at, “Puppy comes with
her…they’re coming to bring her back.”
The mention of their youngest brother snaps Taerie quicker than anything else
as she squints warningly at Yoongi. “Don’t even make me see that bitch. I might
tear her ugly face apart for not doing anything for Puppy.”
Taehyung frowns, digesting the information as he sits up, rubbing his eyes.
“What do you mean? What happened to Puppy?”
She gapes at Taehyung like she couldn’t believe what he just asked. Then she
launches into her usual thundering voice, almighty and hateful. Finger always
accusing towards Taehyung.
“It’s all your faults! You and your idiocy! They won’t bully and call him
disgusting names if you didn’t register him with such a weird name! Kim Puppy!
Who could have thought it’s actually a living human?!”
As if she’s summoning the real person, a short, tiny figure pops out from
behind the door by Yoongi’s legs and all three pairs of eyes focus on that
young boy with innocent eyes and plushy pout on his mouth, sucking a thumb as
he peeks curiously through a mop of tangled hair over his forehead before
landing his sight on Taehyung. His glassy eyes shine to live.
“Taetae hyung?”
“Puppy-ah…,” and that’s all it takes for the youngest boy to throw himself
forward onto the bed and clings to Taehyung’s chest like his life depended on
it. Taehyung hugs him back, inhaling greedily the soft, baby scent Puppy always
has on him from his Johnson’s baby powder, knowing that it’s a good day already
if he can meet this loveliest tiny human whom he loves so much. As long as he
can meet him, it’s a good day, regardless of the obstacles that are to come for
the rest of the time later.
Puppy pulls apart and blinds Taehyung with the brilliant grin only he has.
“Taetae hyung! I miss you so much!”
Taehyung stretches his own familiar boxy grin, cradling his round cheeks like
the precious he is. He whispers back to him, “I miss you too, baby boy.
Always.”
Someone alerts their presence in the room by entering with her sharp clicks of
high heels and Taehyung looks up to a tall and slim woman with a constant air
of seriousness following her. He carries Puppy into his arms and brings them
down the bed to greet her, the headmistress at the orphanage lived by Taerie
and Puppy yet she doesn’t give him that much of attention as she turns on the
only teenage girl in the room instead. Taehyung holds Puppy quietly, watching.
 
“I see you’re up and well, Taerie.” The young lady rolls her eyes, not at all
hiding the hostility she has on her face. Classic Taerie. The headmistress
dismisses it by clearing her throat. “Why don’t you make this short and just
follow us back?” She points her palm to the door.
Taerie’s up to her feet in a second, ready to attack her.
“You motherfuck—”
Taehyung inserts himself and Puppy in between them just in time, stopping
Taerie to a sharp hiss while the woman raises an eyebrow to the siblings.
Taehyung bows apologetically at her.
“I apologize for every inconvenience she’s caused, Mrs. Go. She just wanted to
see me for a night. But you can bring her and Puppy back. Everything’s okay
now.”
Taehyung glances down when Puppy nuzzles his face closer into his chest, his
small fists are tight on his shirt as to indicate that he doesn’t like what
Taehyung just said.
“But Puppy just met you, Taetae…,” his tiny voice whispers helplessly and
Taehyung tries not to let his heart melt.
“Puppy…baby, listen,” he places him back to his feet and bends his body equally
to match his face, Puppy’s hands not once letting his wrists go. “I’ll come to
visit both of you as soon as I can, alright? I’ll bring a lot of candies for
you and colorful nail polishes for Taerie...”
Taehyung steals a look up to his sister, knowing that behind the claws and
bites, all she ever wants is to live normally like any other sixteen-year-old
girls. With desires and all. Taerie responds him with a glare and looks away.
Taehyung swallows while he faces Puppy again.
“…for now, go back with Mrs. Go. Okay?”
Even a boy who has just lived for six years knows how to be stubborn and
refused what he doesn’t want as Puppy shakes his head frantically, begging
Taehyung as he surges forward to hug his tiny arms around his neck.
“No! I just wanna stay with Taetae hyung…for long, long time…”
Taehyung almost cries again. He embraces Puppy tighter, hiding his face on his
narrow shoulder. “And you will, Puppy. Soon,” he muffles the promise into it
but Taerie’s growl sobers him up.
“I told you to not promise something you can’t do!” She shouts before she picks
a whining Puppy up from the cradle of Taehyung’s arms and brings him out of the
room, blabbering out loud all the way to a car waiting outside, “let’s go,
Puppy. You can’t stay with a douchebag, your life will be worse!”
And yet Taehyung follows them, pushing away the sting from Taerie’s words and
only needing to see that they’ll be safe in the car, they’ll be fine until the
next time he gets to meet them again, hopefully not in this tearful way.
Taerie forcefully puts Puppy down into the backseat of the car and Taehyung
thinks she would have left without saying more to him. But then she pivots
around and peels the coat off her body before shoving it harshly against his
chest. Taehyung accepts it with painful gaze still directed on her.
“Take your jacket back,” she spits at him, teary eyes betraying the stubborn
side she tries to show. “How lucky of you, isn’t it? Get to live freely outside
here and even have a boyfriend. It must be good being an adult…”
Taehyung doesn’t even have energy to be mad at her, knowing that she could
easily break his phone’s passcode that is the combination of Puppy’s and her
birth months as to gain access to the games and inevitably see the fake
happiness in Jeongguk’s and his face. Taehyung takes a deep breath to stop
himself from yelling aloud to her.
No, that’s not my boyfriend. Love is not something I can afford when I can’t
even love you and Puppy right. No, I don’t want to be an adult. Growing up
hurts. It makes you realize so many things that you wish you never knew and I
just want to die. Growing up hurts. Don’t grow up, Taerie-ah. I don’t want you
and Puppy knows what I’ve known now.
But of course none of those actually comes out as a sound. Mutely, Taehyung
gropes into his pocket and steps forward to her, grabbing her hand before he
pushes something into it. It’s the last 6,000 Won he has.
“Then you buy him candies,” he couldn’t quite meet her eyes.
“I’ll send some more money for your medicine and nail polishes. Just,” Taehyung
forces his face to look up at her, their gazes are matching in blurriness,
“stay safe, Taerie-ah. For both yourself and Puppy.”
She crumples the money into her fist but doesn’t make a move to hug him so
Taehyung takes the initiative and briefly presses their bodies together,
catching her voice break into a sob before she pushes him off her and gets into
the car. Door is slammed shut, car is getting far, away from him.
Taehyung stays standing there, alone.
He wonders what else can he do to make them believe in him, to bring back the
hope in them that yes, he can be better. He can give them something better. A
better home, a better life.
Rushing back into the room with Yoongi still opts to just watching his every
movement instead of voicing out his thoughts, Taehyung gets to his phone and
goes through his contact list. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for until he
stops at the two most recent contacts in his phonebook.
Unsaved numbers.
Jeongguk’s.
Taehyung’s finger hovers over the digits that will lead him to that doe-eyed
jerk and his annoyingly enticing smile. His grip tightens on fistful of
Jeongguk’s comfortable coat. Taehyung isn’t very sure why he wants so much when
it comes to Jeon fucking Jeongguk. Even if he calls him and tells him all the
miseries he has somewhere below his throat and inside his ribcage, Jeongguk
won’t be able to help him.
What would a rich seventeen years old understand about him?
They always have different struggles.
Taehyung swallows and thinks spitefully of why God never works with him.
He taps on the unsaved numbers at last and brings the phone up to his ear,
throwing an empty gaze to the wall across from him.
“Hello?” A scratchy voice comes through the line.
Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic. Taehyung knows he is, but he has to.
Or else his siblings and he will remain stuck here.
And Taehyung’s not strong enough to live with that any longer.
“25th October, this weekend. I’ll meet you if you pay thrice the price I said
before.”
A silence stretches between them, giving Taehyung a chance to cut the call and
take back his offer. He doesn’t, he waits instead.
“Deal. I don’t want to be home that day…or I’ll die from a broken heart.”
Taehyung once again reaches out to God to ask, why is heartbroken even a thing
in this damn world? It ruins everyone, especially him.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
It’s four days away from weekend and Jeongguk walks through the barely sober
crowd in the club with a faint hope to try his luck one last time.
He has no preparation tonight, no plan ahead of what to say or to do when he is
to ask Taehyung for cancellation of his little date with Dr. Jeon this upcoming
Sunday. The raw idea of the two spending time more than just on the nights
Taehyung’s working for this club, and the fact that his father knows the hooker
as Taehyung instead of V are enough to weaken the resolve in Jeongguk. When he
first started this plan, he didn’t think Dr. Jeon would go far too personal
with Taehyung. But now that he’s known it, it makes everything ten times harder
to carry on with his revenge.
He wants to find out what else does his father know about Taehyung, he wants to
feel everything that his father is allowed to feel whenever he’s with Taehyung
but he’s not sure if he can deal with the outcomes.
If he let himself to know, to feel every inch of Kim Taehyung beyond his skin
and bones, he’d make no difference from a betrayal that is his father to his
mother. So the least he can do is to stop and limit, every form of contact
would Taehyung have with Dr. Jeon.
He figures he should ask someone from the bar since he doesn’t know what
Taehyung would be tonight but his steps halt and his gaze hardens when he sees
the boy he’s looking for is the one standing behind the counter now. An
attractive smile on the lips and a white t-shirt with the first two buttons
popped open to reveal that tempting smooth skin, Taehyung doesn’t seem to
notice him as he’s too busy entertaining quite a big number of customers around
the bar, all sitting on the stools with preying eyes on him instead of focusing
elsewhere around the club. Jeongguk can’t blame them, he’s truly magnetizing in
his bartender uniform with that black apron tied around his thin waist and
Jeongguk makes his way over with everything else vanishes from his thoughts but
Taehyung. The beautiful and sinful Taehyung. The Taehyung who always has the
ability to turn him into this confusing, unthinkable mess. Oh how Jeongguk
hates him.
Upon the screeching sound of the stool taken by Jeongguk, Taehyung looks up
with a greeting about to slip from his mouth before he freezes in recognition
for a few seconds and “how did you get in?” comes out instead.
Jeongguk chuckles, shaking his head a bit to the thought that Taehyung still
doesn’t understand he’s a strong-headed asshole who will do whatever it takes
to let him have what he wants. And he wanted to get into the club so here he is
now, cheated way or not.
Jeongguk leans forward, elbows pressed to the top of the glassy counter as he
playfully asks, “Is that your way to say you’re excited to see me here,
pretty?”
Taehyung immediately pulls a face that can be interpreted as disgusted. He’s
ready to voice out his own smartass remark when a tall man suddenly slips
behind and Jeongguk feels a strong arm circle his shoulders. “Hey, my man! How
is it going? You find it fun in here?”
Jeongguk glances to return the friendly smile from Rapmon, eyes never miss the
complicated stare Taehyung throws from him and up to the DJ, obviously
struggling with himself to find the connection between the pair of them.
Jeongguk’s grin just grows into a smirk as he shrugs, acting like he doesn’t
know that Taehyung knows how he actually got inside here.
“Yeah, I’m just getting started, see if this darling can make some bombass
drink for me.” He answers instead, jerking an eyebrow to Taehyung’s way as
Rapmon looks over to the frowning bartender.
“S’kay, dude. I got your back,” the DJ gives him a pat on his back and clicks
his fingers to snap Taehyung’s attention to them. “You heard him, V. So what
are you waiting for? Get the man his drink, baby, come on.”
Taehyung’s visibly annoyed that he’s forced to serve him but he’s already
pouring some liquid into the shaker while Rapmon chitchats some more with
Jeongguk, informing him there will be his solo stage tonight as the main agenda
and Jeongguk should really stay longer to watch it. Jeongguk turns back to
Taehyung when he slides a glass garnished with a fresh slice of bright yellow
lemon across the counter and Jeongguk winks as a way to thank him.
“Drink up, it’s on the house.” Rapmon offers while tapping a ringed finger by
the side of the glass, to which Jeongguk catches it and stills his movement for
a moment.
He thinks he’s seen that ring before…
He wakes himself before he can gape any longer.
“Thanks, Rapmon. And hey—”
Jeongguk reaches out to stop the DJ by his wrist, eyes still glued on the ring
glimmering bright in the dark club and he opens his mouth to ask, to question
Rapmon if he happened to know Seokjin because of the matching silver bands they
have but then he remembers how secretive Seokjin’s been about his mysterious
fiancé and Jeongguk chooses to swallow his words and drops Rapmon’s wrist.
The DJ waits for him to say something but Jeongguk lightly smiles. “Nah,
nothing. Look forward to your stage.”
“Thanks, man. I’ll catch you later!”
Jeongguk stays watching the back of Rapmon being swallowed by the mass of
bodies dancing on the floor as he’s heading there, distracted by his sudden
intuition that tells him Rapmon is somehow related to his father’s young PA
until Taehyung clears his throat, voice curious. “You know Rapmon?”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes and pivots his stool back to face him, smirk already on
his face.
“So many unknown interesting things about me that you can’t help asking huh,
pretty?”
He would rather play than tell Taehyung the truth.
“You and your modest ass can enjoy your time here together,” Taehyung decides
at last, making a move to ignore him. “I still have many other un-blacklisted
customers to give a fuck about.”
“Which is good because I’m not here for you too.”
This, somehow, has successfully caused Taehyung to pause on his track and
Jeongguk bites back the urge to laugh his amusement out. It’s exhilarating to
watch how Taehyung’s been acting like he doesn’t welcome Jeongguk’s presence
here even when disappointment is the only emotion he shows for a second too
long on his face once he hears Jeongguk say that. And being Jeon Jeongguk, he’s
naturally mean so he takes the path to play this game a bit longer.
“Would you pass this drink to the girl over there? She looks so thirsty of me.”
Jeongguk pushes the glass back to Taehyung, sight already switched to the very
end of the bar where a girl is sitting alone. He’s noticed this girl ogling him
since the moment he set his butt here but refused to acknowledge her until
Jeongguk decides just now that she could be useful for once. He stretches a
broader grin when she flinches upon his stare, bashful on Jeongguk’s open
flirting.
Taehyung takes a deep breath, not sure from jealousy or impatience, before he
picks up the glass with extra care and bows formally to Jeongguk, a perfectly
practiced smile on his face.
“With pleasure, sir.”
And Jeongguk waits for what’s next to happen, watching amusedly when Taehyung’s
not at all polite while he delivers the drink to her and grumpily points
Jeongguk out. The girl nods nevertheless, gleefully accepting the drink and
after quickly downing it empty, she makes her way to him. How easy.
“Hey gorge—” Jeongguk cuts the rest of her words by trapping her waist into his
arms, pushing his face into her neck and pulling her head down so that it looks
like he’s kissing her from the angle that he knows Taehyung’s watching.
Her breath catches, surprised of Jeongguk’s bold step but instead of kissing
her, he whispers into her skin, husky in tone to lure her more. “You look so
cool, honey. How about we make it hotter on the dance floor?”
She giggles, leaning down to peck Jeongguk on his cheek before she pulls apart
and already has Jeongguk’s fingers tangled with hers as she drags him to the
floor. Jeongguk throws a brief glance over his shoulder, wanting to see
Taehyung’s reaction and what he gets is immensely satisfying. The bartender’s
still standing on the last spot he saw him, the shaker clasped in his palms but
never moves to proceed with his drink-making until he blinks at Jeongguk’s
smirk and drops his face down to cut the sharp stare he’s been directing upon
Jeongguk and the girl. Good, Jeongguk thinks, very good.
He sways the girl so that her back is facing the bar (so that he can watch
Taehyung at the same time, actually) and pulls her flushed against him,
creating a scene like he’s so absorbed in their own little world even when it’s
just him, being an ass to tease and rile Taehyung up. For what? Jeongguk’s not
too sure but he’s enjoying Taehyung’s sullen face way too much and that’s all
that mattered.
Jeongguk’s hands are everywhere; around her waist, down to squeeze her butt,
dragging up her sides and repeat, shaking his body to the upbeat rhythm of the
music. Every now and then, he feels her try to grind closer to his crotch but
all that Jeongguk has his real attention on is the bartender over there. One
moment, Taehyung is gluing his eyes murderously on them. Another moment, he’s
gone and Jeongguk stops dancing.
He squints harder in the midst of the blinking neon lights, searching
everywhere around the bar just in case Taehyung has moved to attend other
customers but he’s nowhere there. Jeongguk drops his hands entirely from the
girl, reducing her to a questioning look as his head tilts right and left
around the dance floor in search of Kim Taehyung but something snaps and the
whole club roars to the pitch blackness engulfing them when the lights are
flickered off.
Jeongguk doesn’t know what to do of the sudden stillness, doesn’t even know if
he’s gone too far that Taehyung has chosen to leave him until the lights come
back with dimmer rays, leaving only one big spotlight being directed on
someone. They all turn to it, including Jeongguk, and there’s Taehyung—V.
Only then he realizes the music’s stopped, giving way for the audience to roar
and clap in excitement this time when the beat drops and the spotlight follows
Taehyung as he steps toward the stage, having people part the way for him. And
like every single one of them, Jeongguk’s hypnotized too when he couldn’t take
his eyes off the boy who’s slipping the apron off his waist, drops it
carelessly to the floor and tugging his shirt out of his jeans, turning his
appearance to a disheveled, handsome mess for the lust of the entire club.
And next, he’s alone on the stage, beginning to move flawlessly; spreading his
legs, swaying his hips, rubbing his own body that it’s all so sensual and
mesmerizing at the same time. Jeongguk unconsciously swallows down the needs
clogging hard in his throat, stopping his desire to devour that sinful creature
here and now. People around have gone crazy as well, cheering and dancing along
with Taehyung while “V!” being a constant chant among them. He’s about to think
the torture has finally stopped once the song pauses, and Taehyung stills his
body. Yet how wrong he is when Taehyung aligns his body to the audience before
he starts unbuttoning his shirt and the music resumes, blending with the
viewers’ mad shouting to the show Taehyung has put on.
Jeongguk feels his whole body numb, fingers slowly clench to a fist as he
watches how little by little, Taehyung’s revealing the smooth skin of his chest
and the glistening sweat on his stomach as he parts the shirt wider, all open
for the eyes of hundreds. And something ugly, something green awakens in
Jeongguk’s heart which he decides, he doesn’t like this feeling at all.
He doesn’t like the way those men are staring at him. He despises the way the
girls are squealing to the sight of Taehyung licking his kissable lips. He
absolutely hates it when a few even try to launch themselves to the stage just
to get a taste of that insatiable being on the stage each time he performs a
few hip trusts as a part of his choreography.
He wants to consume Kim Taehyung, only to himself.
And nobody else but him, is allowed to see, think and feel of Taehyung in that
way.
Before he even gets to calm down the rush of blood all through his brain, the
performance ends with thunderous applauses and Jeongguk narrows his eyes to see
where Taehyung’s heading to. He’s still leaving the shirt unbuttoned and his
torso exposed while Taehyung climbs down the stage. People are crowding and
trying to grasp any part of him that can be touched but Taehyung simply throws
them a smile, bows to reject some of the dirty offers being whispered to him
here and there before Rapmon’s deep voice resonates through the speakers and
attention seems to direct back to the stage.
Jeongguk eagerly takes the chance, slipping away from the girl without so much
of offering an apology as he tries his best to push his way through the thick
crowd, catching up with Taehyung. There’s a door with a sign ‘STAFF ONLY’
written on top of it that Jeongguk blindly ignores once he sees Taehyung walks
into it. He’s about to push it close but Jeongguk slams his hand so fast
against it that the door bounces back to the wall and Taehyung startles,
spinning his body around so frantically he almost stumbles to the floor. But
Jeongguk catches his elbow before anything could happen and the next thing he
knows, he hears a groan come from Taehyung when he’s being pushed to the door,
now closed and locked by Jeongguk’s inhuman ability of multitasking within a
split second.
Jeongguk’s got his hands slipped under Taehyung’s dress shirt even before he
opens his mouth to protest, curling possessive palms around his bare waist and
hoisting him off the ground until he can speak with Taehyung’s eyes in line
with his, their faces an inch away. “What the hell did you even think about?
You went around dancing when you were just supposed to work as a bartender this
night? Did you think it was fun to suddenly see you up there?”
Taehyung exhales in disbelief, barking back. “What you even know about the
business going on in here, Jeongguk? Impromptu dance performance pays me better
than my regular days so I’ll do whatever I fucking want. Now put me down!”
He tries to push Jeongguk off by his chest but it only serves with Jeongguk’s
grip tightens on him and his body being pushed farther up the wall. Taehyung
groans.
“No fucking way! If this is about money, then tell me next time.” Jeongguk’s
eyes are hard and unreadable on him, bordering to desperation. “Tell me
whenever you need extra money, I’ll give you as much as you want. I’ll double
or even triple the payments you get if it’s mean you won’t perform in such way
again.”
“And who do you think you are to control how I work?” Taehyung immediately
snaps at this, causing Jeongguk to narrow his eyes. “Why the fuck do you even
care huh? You said it yourself you weren’t here for me so why don’t you just
stay with the girl? You have her for fun, don’t you? Then go back to her!
You’re just pissing off over something that’s clearly not your business.”
Taehyung tries again and again to lower himself down to the ground but
Jeongguk’s gone perfectly still. His deep gaze remains on the frowns lining
over Taehyung’s forehead until a realization clicks in him and he wrenches a
grunt from Taehyung when he glues the senior’s body much closer to his.
Taehyung has to place his hands in between them or else their lips will easily
brush against one another.
“So you noticed us huh?” He whispers lowly out of a sudden, breath grazing
Taehyung’s face that the senior blinks his eyelashes. Unintentionally cute.
“Have you been watching me? You won’t get to spot us dancing together if you
weren’t watching so intensely. The floor was packed and dim.”
“Urgh! Just fuck off!”
“You’re jealous.”
Jeongguk states instead of asks, to which it freezes Taehyung for a second.
“And you’re ridiculous to even think of it like that. I said fuck off!”
“I’m not letting you go until you tell me why you had been watching me, Tae.”
Jeongguk already can guess the answer. Yet he does it still just to hear a
verbal confirmation from Taehyung. “Did you dance just to pull my attention
away from the girl?” He asks directly against Taehyung’s lips now but the
stubborn boy replies by pursing his mouth into a tight line and looks away,
causing Jeongguk’s lips to press on his cheek instead.
“Yeah, keep your mouth shut.” Jeongguk pulls back a little. “The longer you do
that, the more I’ll force the answer out of you, Kim Taehyung.”
The stare Taehyung throws at him afterward is temptingly challenging. “Oh come
and try me, Jeon Jeongguk. Even if you fucked it out of me, I still won’t ever
answer something so absurd and ridiculous like that!”
Jeongguk falls silent for a while.
“Then I will.”
And time and space are just something that never exist for both of them the
moment Jeongguk crushes his lips to Taehyung’s. The senior gasps, parting his
mouth out of surprise only to have Jeongguk sweep him into a series of wet,
openmouthed kisses with teeth clashing and tongues exploring each other’s
mouth.
They kiss for ages, or at least feel like it, (because it’s hard to tell time
with Taehyung’s lower lip stuck in between Jeongguk’s teeth and Jeongguk’s
groans so eagerly swallowed by Taehyung) when Taehyung’s torso slides down
against the warmth of Jeongguk’s body and they both dazedly aware of a bulge
already begging for attention by the front of Taehyung’s jeans.  
“Tae—Tae…,” Jeongguk is breathless but never once intended to let go of the boy
in his arms. Instead, he inserts a thigh in between his legs that has Taehyung
keens for more friction, hands on his chest fly up so fast to grab the hair by
Jeongguk’s nape. Jeongguk forces out the question from his dry throat, “Is this
okay, Taehyung?”
One or two make out sessions are acceptable but this, this feeling and a strong
urge that gathers a pool of heat at the base of his stomach is much more
dangerous. So Jeongguk needs them to be sure. Jeongguk needs Taehyung to be
sure of what he wants before they can take the first step of this new feeling.
“Ye—yes…,” the senior pants out a response at last, breathing just as short and
lips just as swollen as his by this time. “…yeah, it’s okay.” He repeats
slower, gentler to Jeongguk when the junior doesn’t move to do anything other
than staring deeply at him before Taehyung squirms to be closer, wrapping his
arms around his neck and climbing up Jeongguk’s figure until he’s a koala
hanging his legs around Jeongguk’s waist.
Then Jeongguk presses back into him, pushing him flushed to the door and
ravishing him harsh on the lips, stealing all coherent thoughts out of
Taehyung’s mind. Jeongguk might lose his own mind if this is all they do so he
snakes his hands down Taehyung’s thighs and gently untangles them from around
his waist. Taehyung pulls back, seemingly taken aback when he doesn’t expect
Jeongguk to lower him down, not when they have gone this far, but Jeongguk
shushes him with a quick kiss and releases his arms from around his neck too.
Jeongguk’s still kissing him attentively even as Taehyung feels him lacing
their fingers together and bringing both of his hands up above his head. He
says nothing more, yet the tight grip of their entwined hands tells Taehyung
enough of where his hands should stay. Jeongguk travels his lips to his jaw,
smooching and nuzzling its sharp edge before he kisses lower to his neck, to
his chest, a little longer on both of his nipples, across his soft tummy and
around his belly button. All of this butterfly kisses has Taehyung turned into
a moaning mess, hands struggling to break free from Jeongguk’s palms just so he
could get a grip on something, on anything, to withstand the dreamy sensation
of Jeongguk’s mouth all over his skin.
Taehyung has his eyes closed the entire time Jeongguk’s exploring the length of
his torso but he snaps them wide open to the zero warning Jeongguk gives when
he mouths onto Taehyung’s clothed bulge, biting and staining the fabric with
his saliva. The senior curses out loud, finally gets to wrench his hands free
to bury them deep into Jeongguk’s locks as the junior settles on his knees and
unbuckles the belt to Taehyung’s jeans.
Taehyung’s had more people than he cares to count giving head to him. But this,
this being the fact that Jeongguk’s kneeling before him, fingertips leaving
fire in their awake on his skin when he slides Taehyung’s jeans and boxers
lower to his knees, all is leaving a heavy lump in Taehyung’s heart and an
unforgiving want deep in him that Taehyung has never felt before.
The sight alone is addictive, and the feeling is far more destructive once
Jeongguk peeks out his tongue to lick a bit on the slit of his cock before
Taehyung whines sharply to it and Jeongguk takes pity on him to finally engulf
his entire length into his warm mouth.
Taehyung’s flying, trying hard not to buck forward so suddenly in search of
more heat from Jeongguk’s sinful mouth as he focuses solely on the way
Jeongguk’s fingers are digging into his hips to ground him and the delicious
flicks his tongue does to the underneath of his cock. Jeongguk must have been
so accustomed to going down on people that he settles so quickly for a constant
rhythm around Taehyung’s length, bobbing his head and hollowing his cheeks just
right to push the senior closer and closer to the edge of paradise. At one
moment later that Taehyung no longer could take the deep suckling Jeongguk does
to the head and the abrupt fingers wrapping at the base of his cock where
Jeongguk’s mouth can’t reach, he tugs hard upon the junior’s hair to warn him
about his release.
Jeongguk gets the message, yet instead of quicken to help him, he pops his cock
out of his mouth and drops a wet kiss to the tip of it, eyes lazily travel up
to Taehyung’s reddish cheeks. 
“Shit…,” the senior inhales to regulate his breathing, mouth pulls into a pout
even when he does it unconsciously. “Jeong…Jeongguk, why do—why do you stop?”
“I need to know, Tae.” Jeongguk moves his fingers in upward strokes even as he
asks. “I need to know if you’re really sure of this. If you really want me…”
“Yes…yes. I want you, Jeongguk.” Taehyung begs, pride and dignity be damned. “I
want you, please.”
Jeongguk isn’t sure if the lust is clouding his brain or Taehyung really does
say it to him but the moment Taehyung mumbles them out loud, he becomes
speechless in surprise. The senior’s eyes are teary above him. “Don’t leave me
here. Don’t go back to the girl, I—”
And the rest of Taehyung’s words turn into a series of nonsense whines and
whimpers as Jeongguk takes him back into his mouth, sucking wholeheartedly this
time that Taehyung has no consciousness left to remind him of his release when
he comes so suddenly, shooting a load into the cavern of Jeongguk’s mouth to
which the junior willingly swallows, milking him dry to a panting mess.
He doesn’t know he could take this long to recover from just a blowjob because
the next time his eyes flutter open, Jeongguk already stands back up and his
boxers and jeans are already in place. They drown themselves in each other’s
eyes, reading but not quite understand the stories in them while Jeongguk
continues to rub soothing circles on Taehyung’s hips and the senior can only
cradle him close by the waist, sated and satisfied from his release.
“Do you…need help with that?” Taehyung’s hands hover hesitantly over Jeongguk’s
buckle, eyes directing on his own tent that’s pretty much still aching hard.
“No, I just—I can just take care of it myself.” He refuses to let Taehyung
touch him this way because he is Taehyung, the same Taehyung who’s sleeping
with his father so what would that make of Jeongguk?
He doesn’t want to admit the guilt growing in his chest. He and his father,
they are the same. Craving for the same boy, betraying Mrs. Jeon with the same
way.
Jeongguk doesn’t want to do this.
“Please, just let me…”
But Taehyung’s soft voice sounds so beautiful. His pleading eyes are beautiful.
The beading of sweats on his forehead is beautiful. The slope of his nose is
beautiful. His kiss-swollen lips are beautiful. Kim Taehyung is so beautiful
that every piece of resolve in Jeongguk melts into nothingness and the only
thing he’s aware of is the obscene sound from his zipper when Taehyung pulls
them down and the marvelous strokes Taehyung’s slender fingers have once he
wraps them firm around his own cock, spitting his saliva in between to glide
the strokes easier.
“Oh fuck!” Jeongguk drops his head forward to Taehyung’s shoulder, palms now
flat against the door behind of Taehyung as he sinks deeper on the skillful way
Taehyung is stroking him. “Fuck, Tae—that feels, that feels so good…”
Distantly, he thinks of what would happen if Taehyung meets up with his father
this weekend. He thinks of the possibility that his father might have felt this
heavenly feeling again and again as he does Taehyung. He thinks of how painful
it is to share him with Dr. Jeon. He thinks of his mother. And he thinks of
himself.
Jeongguk hates, hates, hates this all.
So he starts praying in his head, begging for Taehyung to not go, pleading for
God to make it stop.
“Don’t go, Tae. Just please, don’t go.”
“Jeongguk? Hey, I’m not going anywhere. I’m here, I’m—”
“I don’t want you to meet that man this weekend. Why must you meet up with him?
You can’t go. You must not go, Tae.”
Only to the feel of a tear rolls down his cheek that Jeongguk halts his train
of thoughts and he looks up to Taehyung, eyes big and teary as he feels the
stillness of Taehyung’s hand around his length, no longer stroking him as he’s
too shocked of what he just verbally said.
“Shit—I’m sorry.”
Jeongguk jerks away from Taehyung before the senior could even tell him to
stop. Dressing swiftly, Jeongguk forces himself to push Taehyung away from
blocking the door for him to run out of it, ignoring Taehyung’s shaky voice as
he calls after him.
“Jeongguk, wait!” No matter how fast he wills his legs to run, Taehyung is the
one with more knowledge of the cuts and corners in this club that he manages to
pop in front of Jeongguk just before he steps through the entrance. He’s
panting but his hand grips firmly on his elbow. “Wait, what do you mean by
that? You don’t want me to meet that man this weekend? Do you mean the man in
the call you answered before?”
Jeongguk should have said yes, this is his only chance to prevent everything
from happening. Yet he couldn’t even bring himself to face Taehyung directly.
So ashamed of Dr. Jeon, ashamed of what they just did and most of all, ashamed
of himself for probably liking the boy in front of him in a way that he should
never be.
“Just…,” Jeongguk reverses a step backward so that Taehyung’s hand drops away.
“…forget it.”
Jeongguk hides quite a while in the toilet, doesn’t want to be stopped by the
entrance in case Taehyung’s still waiting for him there. He uses the time to
think. Thinking about everything, and thinking of nothing but just Taehyung and
him.
 
This is Kim Taehyung.
And Kim Taehyung is his father’s dirty secret.
His father pays for his service, and Taehyung serves him for money.
His father leaves his mother behind to be with him.
His mother is sad.
His mother is sick.
He should end both of them.
Yes.
No.
Kim Taehyung is just a boy working in here.
He doesn’t know his regular customer is Jeongguk’s dad.
He doesn’t know Jeongguk’s here for revenge.
It’s not Taehyung’s fault.
And Jeongguk just wants to be with him.
Without his father, without his mother.
Jeongguk can’t.
 
He walks back to the bar, slipping a note he writes on one of the tissue papers
below the glass he drank from in hope Taehyung is the one picking it up to find
his message.
He doesn’t want to send it through his phone. That way it will definitely
deliver to Taehyung. He wants Taehyung to know this message as much as he
doesn’t want Taehyung to find it out.
Jeongguk is one complicated dick and he leaves the club like it could change
him to be different. It doesn’t.
He’s still so complicated.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
Let’s delete everything but us. Meet me in front of Electric Moves Dance Studio
this weekend - J.
Taehyung wanted to confront Jeongguk first thing first as soon as he found the
little note he’s staring on now. That’s why he’s here, early in the morning,
standing at one corner of the corridor lined up with lockers as the first years
filling in to start their day. Some of them are giving him looks while
curiously whispering among their group of friends but Taehyung spends not more
than two seconds on them before he’s back again looking with wild eyes for one
and only Jeon Jeongguk.
He doesn’t know what to make out of this note even as he’s reading it again and
again. He finds a strange hope behind the words and a strangling pain that
reminds him of things could terribly go wrong if he hopes falsely. He keeps the
note, nevertheless, deciding to ask it straight to Jeongguk of what he means by
leaving it for him before he makes a final choice between his customer and the
boy.
The bell has ringed, indicating the start of the first lesson and Jeongguk
still doesn’t show up. Taehyung entertains the idea of him not coming to school
and turns around to leave for another time when a group of three boys walk into
the corridor. Jeongguk’s one of them.
Taehyung stops, bringing his hand up to wave at him yet instead of giving him
attention, Jeongguk makes his way passing him like he can’t even see Taehyung
there.
He turns following Jeongguk’s back, hoping for the boy to stop by his locker so
that he could go and talk to him but he doesn’t. Jeongguk continues to his
class, engaging in a constant conversation with his friends while Taehyung
watches him from behind, isn’t sure if he just being ignored.
During recess, Taehyung tries his luck once more. He sits by the bleacher and
draws Jeongguk out in pages of his sketchbook while the junior is playing
basketball as per usual. Jeongguk stops to get his water bottle nearby
Taehyung, but before he can even get up from where he’s sitting to approach the
junior, Jeongguk already sets his bottle down and runs back to the court, still
acting as if Taehyung is part of the air.
Still, Taehyung waits for him.
He waits for him at their club activity but Jeongguk skips it for today and
Taehyung has to run around in order to avoid Mr. Kang as much as he can.
Taehyung goes back with something small stuck in his heart. He doesn’t voice it
out to Jimin as he’s waiting for the next day to meet Jeongguk.
He doesn’t meet him again after that.
Jeongguk skips the club activity for three days straight and during those days,
Taehyung chooses to stay with Jimin at the dance club since he doesn’t know how
to stop Mr. Kang from pestering him.
He wonders why he needs Jeongguk so much and why not seeing him for three days
straight is bothering him a lot.
“What’s wrong?” Jimin finally asks when that something small grows bigger in
his chest. Taehyung doesn’t understand this feeling. He wants to get rid of it
but he can’t seem to find the way so he shows the note to his best friend.
Jimin frowns reading it while Taehyung forces a smile on his lips. “He left me
this, and then gone his way disappearing from me. What a confusing ass isn’t
he, Jiminie?”
But maybe it’s just his fault. He shouldn’t hope so much if he doesn’t want to
be hurt in first place. Taehyung tears the note and throws it away, deciding to
just stick to his plan in gaining money this weekend.
Jimin sighs watching him but Taehyung doesn’t stop it when he’s pulled to his
side and Jimin rests Taehyung’s head on his shoulder, petting it slowly.
That something in his chest is swelling so big he can barely breathe. Taehyung
closes his eyes, picturing Jeongguk again and again.
His big expressive eyes, his bunny smile, his little scar on the left cheek,
his seductive smirk, his vein-covered arms, his huge built and his warm touches
all over Taehyung’s skin. He isn’t here with him but his fingerprints are on
Taehyung like something that wouldn’t leave.
Taehyung wonders why he’s always the one waiting for everyone.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
“Isn’t it weird to always want to see someone, grandma? To always be around
that someone and spend time with that person even when I shouldn’t?” An old
lady pauses her knitting on a sweater when Taehyung voices the questions from
where he’s perched on her bed, one cheek pressed to her pillow while he’s
watching her absentmindedly.
She reminds him of an old version of his father. Taehyung barely remembers how
his father used to look like, that was years ago and he can only make out the
outline of his young face. But he’s pretty sure his dad would look like this
lady in front of him if he’s to meet the older self of his father. If, he even
comes back.
He has her boxy smile, however.
Unlike the rest of Taehyung’s features that resembled his mother, Taehyung
proudly inhered his father’s boxy smile that he has so obviously got from this
woman. She’s a calm and sweet old lady who loves to spend most of her time in
this retirement home knitting all kind of stuff she can create from her
colorful collection of threads. Taehyung loves her, of course. She was the one
raising him since he was a child, the one who saw his rise and fall and the
only one who remained there when his parents didn’t.
Unfortunately when the social worker brought Taehyung and his siblings to Seoul
to live in the orphanage, his grandmother had to be placed where she is now as
her health condition didn’t allow her to live alone in Daegu. And that’s how
Taehyung makes it a habit to visit her here as often as he can, especially
since he left the orphanage, just so his grandma won’t be alone and he could
spoil himself in her gentle care and affection.
She cracks Taehyung’s favorite smile at him, patiently putting down her
knitting equipment to give Taehyung all of her ears. “Why shouldn’t you spend
time with that person even when you wanted to?”
“Because I merely know him.” Yes, Jeongguk is just a boy he met a few
accidental times both in the club and at the school. What does he even know
about him? Nothing.
“But I think it’s good to give it a chance,” as if reading his mind, she says
that. Taehyung pouts, rubbing his face into the pillow to absorb her comforting
scent. “He asked me to meet up this weekend, grandma. He left me a note. But I
threw it away because he ignored me after that. He’s been disappearing for
almost a week. Where’s the guarantee that he’ll show up at where he asked us to
meet?”
He hears a sigh come from her before she calls him over and Taehyung drags
himself out of bed, kneeling before his grandmother as she reaches out to rest
a palm on his chest, just above his heart. Taehyung blinks, doesn’t quite catch
her meaning when she keeps smiling on the place she touched.
“People say it’s better to follow your mind than your heart. But sometimes not
all the answers are up there, Taetae. You’ve to listen to this too,” she pats
once on his heart. “Then let your fate decides for you. So if you feel like
meeting him this weekend, then go. Whether you’ll truly meet him or not, that’s
the universe’s job. Just, give it a try okay?”
Taehyung keeps his gaze locked with hers, lips growing into a fond smile the
longer he stares on her until he feels the lump in his heart contracting a bit,
becoming smaller that it helps Taehyung to breathe easier. He picks her hand up
and kisses the back of it. The woman chuckles.
“Thank you so much, grandma. You always know what to say. Anything I can do to
thank you back?”
She hums, pretending to think for a minute. Then she expands her boxy grin,
matching like a mirror to Taehyung’s own. “Come join the charity event here,
then you’re all paid.”
“I’ll be here on time, grandma,” he easily promises.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
Taehyung is always on his mind.
Along the street he walked back from the club. On the bed when he lied to try
and get some sleep. Beside the corridor where he once saw him standing there.
Atop one of the steps on the bleacher, drawing with his sketchbook. Next to the
entrance door of the club house, and everywhere else that Jeongguk had tried so
hard to avoid.
That’s why he decided to run, to look away, because all he tried was to get
Taehyung out of his mind.
He failed.
Here he is now, still, with Taehyung lingering at the back of mind as he helps
Mrs. Jeon arranging the table with plates and juice glasses, a big bowl of
seaweed soup as the main dish and a few other side delicacies along with one
round mocha cake at the center already carved with Happy Birthday, Jeon Hannie!
by its strawberry icing. Jeongguk places the last fork onto the table and
everything’s fully set for the celebration.
Except, for his father.
She’s still waiting for him and Jeongguk is stuck between to punch Dr. Jeon
square on him face once he’s come back from his ‘date’ with Taehyung and to
just pick up his phone and beg Taehyung to not be there, to never meet Dr. Jeon
wherever it is so that he could be here, back with the celebration together
with Mrs. Jeon and him.
Jeongguk contemplates if Taehyung even thinks to consider his note as a serious
request.
When he had written it, all that Jeongguk had was the strong feeling to run
away. From his hatred towards his father, from his guilt on his mother and he
solely wanted to be with Taehyung.
But after four nights in row falling asleep with Taehyung being a permanent
figure at the back of his eyelids, Jeongguk is just so tired of everything and
he does the only thing he know could make him feel better, even a bit.
He pushes Taehyung, he forgets the note and he definitely doesn’t want to think
of Dr. Jeon—or where he possibly might be now—as he arranges slow steps to his
mother before he stops to embrace her from behind.
“Mom…,” his chin rests gently on her shoulder. “Why don’t you blow the cake
first? The candles are melting.”
She smiles to the top of his head, reaching up to drop two pats on him and then
nudging Jeongguk to release her for them to take their seats around the dining
table. Jeongguk claps his hands excitedly, singing the birthday song so loud
and dramatic that the whole house echoes with his voice and Mrs. Jeon’s
laughter before they end it with applauses and his mother closes her eyes,
bringing clasped hands over her chest to make a wish.
Jeongguk studies her closely, the hollows of her cheeks and her chapped thin
lips that are stretched into a small smile, barely there. She’s still so
beautiful to him, with her ghostly pale skin and Jeongguk prays along that no
matter what she’s wishing for, God will be there to grant it.
Then she opens her eyes and grins broader, ready to blow the candles.
“I wish to live for another year, Jeonggukie. That way, your dad would have
more time to find his way back here to us, wouldn’t he?”
Jeongguk blinks the sting behind his eyes, fighting the waves of emotions
threatening to break the dam in them as he gives her a firm nod and a grin so
wide it hurts him. Mrs. Jeon’s still smiling too, but he can see the unshed
tears in her gaze.
And it just serves Jeongguk to hate his father more.
He hates Taehyung too.
He’s hopeless.
Jeongguk looks up, straightening his body just in time for his mother to pucker
her lips and blow the candles but then comes a click from the front of this
penthouse and it freezes both Jeongguk and his mother. They are staring
questioningly toward each other before the familiar taps of someone’s leather
shoes fill the house and Mrs. Jeon is up on her feet faster than a healthy boy
like Jeongguk can.
He follows hesitantly behind her until she stops releasing a weak gasp next to
the kitchen door and there appears his father, still suited up in his formal
attires but Jeongguk spots a bouquet of his mother’s favorite Daisies cradled
in his arms.
“Happy Birthday, Hannie-ah. I’m sorry I’m late.”
A tear truly escapes her eye now but she wipes it dry and shortly shakes her
head. “Thank you. No, you’re not that late. We were just about to blow the
candles.”
There’s a deafening silence simmering among the three of them before Dr. Jeon
walks closer to her and only stops to drop a lingering kiss atop her forehead.
Mrs. Jeon sniffles. “Well then, let’s blow them together.”
Just like that, it looks so easy for Mrs. Jeon to chuckle and lace her hand
with her husband’s to bring him for a seat around the table, forgiveness is
ready to be given. But Jeongguk’s mind is running miles within a minute and it
suffocates him to keep up with.
What happened to Taehyung?
Did they cancel the date?
Where’s Taehyung now?
What is it that has changed his father’s decision to be here in the end?
Jeongguk brings himself to sit back down across from Dr. Jeon with these
questions at the edge of spilling out of his mouth. When his father glances
over and notices his conflicted stare, he prompts him to ask with a raise of an
eyebrow.
“Are you sure you’re free to be here today,” is what Jeongguk asked at last.
“Yeah,” Dr. Jeon answers without a pause, or a hesitation, looking so sure of
his choice. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll stay for the rest of the day with you
and your mother.”
And it’s the happiest Jeongguk’s seen his mother is in years. 
Even after she’s under the blanket, being tucked in by her husband, her radiant
smile remains lighting up her face from where Jeongguk watches them by her
bedroom’s door. She falls into a peaceful sleep so easily, with Dr. Jeon’s hand
being cuddled to her chest, just under her chin, and his other palm soothingly
patting her back. Jeongguk misses this scene so much it’s almost hurtful for
him to stay looking.
He wants to ask Dr. Jeon why didn’t they have all of this earlier but then his
father shifts his patting to brush her hair out of her forehead and then
whispers, “I promise to find a way to let you celebrate another birthday with
Guk and me next year. I’ll try my best to cure you, Hannie. You’ll be fine.”
Then a soft kiss to her forehead.
And Jeongguk wonders if he’s wrong about everything.
Waiting no more, he mutely excuses himself from the room and out of the house
with his jacket messily hangs around his body. He’s rushing to the dance studio
he regularly has practices there way before he could process what’s actually
he’s doing until he climbs down the bus and runs a few more streets to the
studio.
Jeongguk isn’t very sure of what he’s expecting to see.
When he stops running and staring ahead, the sight of Kim Taehyung standing
exactly in front of the studio’s glassy entrance makes everything else blur in
Jeongguk’s eyes.
There’s only him.
With a question in Jeongguk’s head.
Why did you choose to meet me instead of him?   
 
===============================================================================
 
 
Jeongguk approaches him slowly, breath still puffing out in tired gasps before
his face.
Taehyung, with his torn out jeans and lithe frame that’s drowned in a coat
Jeongguk recognizes as his, looks exceptionally ethereal under the autumn
sunlight. Wind is blowing the soft fringes into his eyes and he shakes them out
of the way only to catch Jeongguk’s gaze when his head is tilted to the left.
Never have Jeongguk felt his heart breaking to look at someone so beautiful.
“Hi—”
He’s ready to accept curses and scolding for showing up late when Taehyung
steps over to him. What he isn’t ready for is a tight hug that engulfs him out
of the blue once the senior halts before him, arms making way around his neck
and head snuggling close in the dip of his neck and shoulder.
Jeongguk doesn’t understand what’s happening, why Taehyung looks so physically
happy to see him.
Then a question is whispered softly to his ear, “How does it feel to miss
someone?”
Jeongguk quiets, thinking of the bizarre question until he realizes it’s been
awhile since he actually met Taehyung too. He decided to avoid him all
throughout the week and only when Taehyung’s in his arms again that he
questions why he tries so hard to push this away. To push him away.
“It feels suffocating, like you’re in pain.” Now he knows why he can’t get
Taehyung out of his mind.
“You reach out but there’s nothing more you can do than longing and wanting.
Missing someone feels like…,” he brings his hands up and pulls Taehyung so
close against him, nuzzling into the warm skin of his neck, hearing Taehyung
laugh from his soft touches before he whispers, “…like this.”
The answer is there, in the way he’s returning the hug so tight around
Taehyung. The answer is yes, he misses him too.
Taehyung laughs again and hugs him harder, causing Jeongguk to feel so easy for
him to smile, to breathe Taehyung in and to forget that for this moment, he’s
just Kim Taehyung—the senior from his school and Jeon Jeongguk, is just his
junior.
Just a couple of kids.
They are no more, no less.
And they miss each other.
Chapter End Notes
     Can you actually believe I finally got to post this ass long chap
     after almost a month??? God, my life is hectic! Why am I even a
     college student??? *cries*
     Anyways! Here it is, people; 13k of rubbish!!! I prefer switching POV
     between Jeongguk's and Tae's so hopefully it doesn't confuse
     anyone??? And yeah, panic attack. It's not a pleasant thing & if any
     of you readers are having the same emotional problem, please, I beg
     of you, seek for help. It's everywhere around you & all you gotta to
     do is be brave and come out for a help okay? Don't let your panic
     attack control you because it's truly unhealthy. I hope my writing
     doesn't get into your sensitive issue, in case you have any. And if
     it did, let me apologize first.
     But still, it's not the most of Taehyung's backstory. Of course
     there's more after this. Just now that you've known both sides...feel
     free to choose your favorite character??? And yeah, when I made Tae's
     lil bro as Kim Puppy, it is not literally 'Puppy'. In hangul it
     should be Kim Gangaji. It's written like this, 강아지. Since I imagined
     them pronouncing his name in Korean, so it should be Gangaji instead
     of Puppy. But I love how Puppy sounds. It seems cuter so I wrote it
     that way. And he is strictly a human so please don't imagine
     Soshimie. XD There's a reason why his name is different from Taehyung
     and Taerie so wait to find out why! :D
***** More than Friends *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
From: Unknown
Is 6 months a long time?
 
                                                                    To: Unknown
                                       Idk…it depends on hw u spend it, I guess
                                                                           Why?
                                                                               
From: Unknown
My wife…
That’s just how long she has
 
                                                                    To: Unknown
                             Doesn’t that give u more reasons to stay with her?
                                                         U shud, as I told u b4
                                                                               
From: Unknown
But it hurts
How can I go home knowing that
it possibly her last bday with us?
 
                                                                    To: Unknown
                                        But if u go home & spend time with her,
                           with the right one, no matter for 6 months or 1 sec,
                                                        u won’t regret it later
                                                                               
From: Unknown
So when u refused to meet me,
did that mean u found the right one
to spend ur weekend with?
 
                                                                    To: Unknown
                                                              yeah, I found him
                                                                               
===============================================================================
 
Holding Taehyung is nice.
With his soft breath caressing Jeongguk’s neck, and his thin arms looping tight
around his waist, holding Taehyung feels like a relief after a complicated
quest. Warm like a cup of coffee in the midst of winter. Refreshing like the
wind blows by the ocean. Exhilarating like the first beat he hears at the
beginning of his dance, and addicting like replaying his favorite song which he
falls in love with each time he listens to it. Holding Taehyung is something
he’s always wanted to do from the moment Jeongguk first saw him and now that
he’s doing it, drowning himself in Taehyung’s gentle embrace, he simply doesn’t
know how to stop.
But that’s just how he poetically putting it.
Because while holding Taehyung is all dreamy and heaven, the sight of two
teenage boys hugging in the middle of the street is also unusually distracting.
In other terms, they’ve started to pull on the crowd’s attention.
And Jeongguk needs to let go at some points, so he starts by slowly pulling
away from Taehyung, asking him the question that’s been bugging his mind since
he arrived here, “Why are you meeting me? I thought you got a date or
something…”
Taehyung peers up to him through his eyelashes, causing the beats in Jeongguk’s
heart to have another kick-start.
There’s a shift in Taehyung’s face. Jeongguk doesn’t know how to point it. “Oh,
about that…I cancelled it.”
“You cancelled it?”
“Yeah, not that it’s a big deal. It’s not even a real date, actually. Just me
supposedly meeting someone I know,” he shrugs, reversing a step back to put a
space between them that doesn’t sit quite well for Jeongguk even when his mind
is reeling to place piece and piece from the knowledge he just learned.
It wasn’t his father who cancelled the date. It was Taehyung, the boy himself,
made up his decision to wait and meet him here despite only his horrendously
written note held up the ever fragile bridge between them.
Jeongguk has no idea on how to deal with it, aware about that part of Taehyung
that’s so ready and willing to believe in his words, to stand here and wait for
him even after Jeongguk had gone through a bitch fit—hiding from Taehyung,
running away from his feelings.
Why? Why did you choose to meet me? That’s supposed the real question. Yet of
course, Jeongguk never lets it out.
“Someone you know…,” he loses confidence in his voice, feeling like he needs to
ask even as he already knew the answer. “Was it your customer?”
“Urm, something like that…,” beating around the bushes is hard, especially when
there’s a side to Taehyung that still want to keep his relation with his father
a secret. But Jeongguk has to accept it for now, pushing the questions all to
the back of his mind once the senior glances around and asks, “Why did you
choose this place?”
Jeongguk looks up to the signboard hung atop the entrance, Electric Moves Dance
Studio written there.
“It’s my dance studio. I take regular classes here,” again, like it’s one of
the things he’s always wanted to do since he knew a Kim Taehyung, Jeongguk
reaches out for the senior’s hand and entwines it with his own. The combined
warmth causes both of them to pause for a second too long that only until
Taehyung squeezes back, Jeongguk finally learns how holding hands could feel so
right.
He turns them to face the entrance, trying to regulate his heart from beating
so fast upon the simplest action. “Come, let me show you around.”
Taehyung stops him from pushing the glass door open, a frown already on his
face. “But I’m not even an official member, it’s rude to intrude.”
“Intrude? You’ll not be intruding anyone, Taehyung. This is where I spend most
of my time, practicing dance here,” Jeongguk explains, continuing on to step
inside even while Taehyung tugs on their hands to prevent him. “And since I
already know the club as your workplace, it’s time for you to know something
about me as well.” He adds as an afterthought.
“Why?”
Yes, why. Isn’t exposing a section of his private life to Taehyung will place a
point of weakness in his plan to avenge his mother? There are two desires in
his heart; one that wants to destroy him and one that wants to have Taehyung in
his life. 
“Because it’s only fair,” Jeongguk answers, since the latter choice has won
whether he realizes it or not. “Isn’t that how two people got to know each
other?”
It’s a risk which Jeongguk takes without really weighing the price he might
need to pay for later. Because once Taehyung replies by tightening their hands,
nothing could ever seem to go wrong. For now.
Jeongguk leads them further into the studio, supposedly empty for today since
it’s the one weekend they choose to let the entire members free from any
practices yet is unlocked in case any of them want to have their personal
training today. Jeongguk points out some stations including their lockers, way
to the showers and a small corner where they put a water cooler machine until
they corner to the path directing them to a room full of ceiling-to-wall
mirrors—the real dance area, and is stopped a step away from entering the door
upon hearing a strange noise.
“A—ah…hyung!”
…or rather a strange voice.
“Wait,” Taehyung furrows to Jeongguk just in time when the boy strains his ear
against the door to hear inside. “Huh? What’s wrong?”
“Hyung said he’ll practice alone today. I didn’t know he has company,” Jeongguk
tells him like it’s a matter Taehyung should have already known.
“Hyung? Your dance senior?” He nods to confirm Taehyung’s guess. “Then why
don’t you just go inside and check him out?”
“But it sounds—”
“Yah, stop! It’s—it’s too tight…”
“But, hyung! Argh, argh!”
“…weird inside,” Jeongguk finishes slower with his face progressively changing
to horrid once the voices in there mix with breathy groans and quiet whimpers.
Taehyung jumps away from the door, finally connecting those sounds to
Jeongguk’s horrified expression. “Ew, that’s disgusting! Do you guys always use
this—”
“Hyung, please! Please just let me…let me enter—”
“No, fuck!”
Both are showing blatant disgust and disbelief in their faces until a
particular high-pitched whimper echoes through the place and Taehyung
straightens his back, eyes widening now.
“Wait. Hold the fuck up, I think I know that voice…,” Jeongguk doesn’t
understand why Taehyung’s whispering but he responds with a hushed tone too,
“What? You mean you know Hobi hyung?”
“Huh?” Taehyung throws him a the-hell-you-saying face, “no, who the fuck is
Hobi hyung? I said I know that voice, it’s Jimin’s voice!”
“Jimin? Your shorty friend?” Now it’s time for Jeongguk to stare at Taehyung
like he’s just said something so stupid. “But how the hell could he even be
here? He’s not a member!”
“Hyung! Ple—please!”
That soft, but high pitch voice again.
Taehyung stands on his point, “I swear he sounds like Jiminie!”
“Aish, but there’s no way for him—”
“Argh, argh, no!”
“God, what the fuck…,” Jeongguk mumbles, honest to god feeling the hair on his
nape stands up to a truth he just realizes. “You mean to tell me that Jimin is
fucking my Hobi hyung?”
A heavy-two-second silence sinks in as Taehyung blinks stupidly at him.
“Holy…fuck—fucking? My Jiminie and your hyung?” Taehyung cups a hand to his
mouth once he’s found his voice again. Jeongguk uncertainly nods.
“In this dance studio?”
Another nod before...
“Oh my god, what if they do it on the floor?! I sleep on it sometimes!”
“Oh my god, no! My Jiminie won’t do that!”
“Yes he will if he fucking seduced my hyung! Dancing Hobi is the sexiest Hobi
after all!”
“No fucking way! My Jiminie is the purest angelic sunshine ever! He won’t
seduce a random Hoebi!”
“Who the fuck you rats bickering like goddamn chipmunks here?!”
A bang that comes from the door when it bounces against a wall cuts the whole
whispering (bickering) Jeongguk and Taehyung have been engaging on before they
frown to the doorway and see two fully-clothed people walk out through it. One
is a slender guy with oval shaped face and light brown hair, hands on his hips
as he eyes Jeongguk with unimpressive look and another one is a shorter boy who
has his eyes enlarging once they notice Taehyung.
“Taetae?”
“Jiminie! God, it’s really you!” Taehyung exclaims as he goes over to clutch
that boy by his arm.
 “Yeah, it’s me. What are you doing here?” Jimin’s expression is showing none
but an utter confusion as he studies from Taehyung to Jeongguk, who facial has
turned back to the regular stoic he always has once he seems to catch the
situation faster than Taehyung does.
“He came with me, but I should be asking you that. What are you doing here?”
Jeongguk asks coolly, one bitchy eyebrow raised to Jimin.
“You know him, Jeonggukie?” The other boy, one who dubbed them ‘chipmunks’ and
slum the door open so violently finally speaks as he points a finger to Jimin.
“Yeah, these two are seniors from my school. But hyung, you’re not doing
anything inappropriate in our studio, right? Because we heard weird noises just
now…” Jeongguk doesn’t dare to let the whole words out, throwing a subtle
glance to Taehyung in hope he has anything to back him up on this. Yet all he
does is shake his head and step closer to Jimin.
“Weird noises…,” it takes a minute or so for the guy to decipher it but when he
does, he stares Jeongguk down with his iconic offended face, jaw stretched down
and nose scrunched in horror. “What, no! What the fuck were you thinking about,
Guk? I was just stretching when this dude pounded on me. So I was just trying
to get him off me.”
He refers to Jimin through the explanation in hope of clearing the
misunderstanding only to have Taehyung widen his eyes further.
“You poundedon him? Why did you do that, Jiminie?”
“Aish, you guys made it sound dirtier than it actually was,” Jimin sighs as he
moves to stand by the center of the four, face scandalized. “Let me explain,
okay? I met Hoseok hyung around Gangnam Street the other day and watched his
performance. I was just, so fascinated with it that I—”
“He’s been pestering me ever since then and now he found out about our upcoming
competition, he wants to join in without registering as official member. Of
course I couldn’t allow that!” The said guy, Hoseok, finishes for Jimin before
he gives him a firm look of denial as he crosses his arms together, indicating
that he still doesn’t change his mind on that matter. Jeongguk nods as an
agreement to his decision.
“Yeah, that’s not fair for the members in here. Each one of us has to audition
for the team that’s entering the competition. We can’t just allow an outsider
to join in.”
Jimin whines at this, stepping close to Hoseok.
“But I won’t disappoint you! I can help your team to win, I swear!”
Taehyung nods this time. “That’s true. Jiminie is an excellent dancer, you
won’t regret having him.”
“Wait, who are you again? Is this the partner you brought in to be with you in
your pairing routine?” Hoseok squints at Taehyung, asking as he momentarily
glances at Jeongguk.
“No, it’s not! I’ll partner up with Yugyeom. This...,” Jeongguk’s answer comes
within a second right after the image of Taehyung dancing in the club a few
nights ago flashes back in his mind and he keeps the shiver away when Taehyung
smirks, easily reading his thought. “This one is just a friend. He can’t
dance.”
Jimin frowns, “what do you mean he can’t dance? Tae is one of the best—”
“He still won’t dance, because I said so!” Jeongguk presses to shut him up,
ignoring the way Taehyung has started to laugh knowingly by the corner of his
eyes. “And he’s not our club member, just like you!”
“Em, okay…,” Hoseok chooses to turn his attention upon Taehyung once he deems
he doesn’t get the silence argument going on between Jeongguk and Jimin. “Got a
name, buddy?”
A warm, boxy smile greets him in return. “Kim Taehyung.”
“This is Jung Hoseok! His stage name is JHope and he has a regular show named
Hope on the Street. You should seriously watch his performance, Tae. It’s so
cool!” Jimin is so strangely being pulled back to his hyper mood once he takes
over Hoseok to introduce the guy.
“Aigoo, don’t make it sound so extravagant for a mere street dancer like me.”
Hoseok shakes his head. “I’m glad you enjoyed my performance but I still can’t
let you join us. Compliments work no magic on me, kid!”
“Aigoo, hyung! I sincerely meant that!” Jimin pouts to the finger the older
wriggles at his face.
“How about you watch me dance now? I’ll perform a short routine for you and you
can decide on the spot whether you want me in your team or not. Can we please
do that?” Jimin suggests, still not giving up the idea of reserving a spot in
the team.
“Why don’t you just register as a member? You can even join our regular
classes.” Jeongguk says instead.
“I barely can afford an art school, let alone a dance club membership! I just
wanna perform, and join some competitions here and there. Please, let me show
you my skills.” Jimin steps up his game now, blinking puppy eyes up to Hoseok,
which takes the older boy a while to fall on it.
Yet he falls, anyway. Exhaling, “alright, only one dance,” under his breath
before he steps back into the door earlier. Jeongguk and Taehyung could only
follow with a bouncy Jimin in tow, doing some victorious mini dance.
“You know, I’ve lost count on how many times Jimin impressed me whenever I
watched him dance. I’m pretty much sure that hyung and you won’t be an
exception,” Taehyung says while Jeongguk stirs them to sit by one side of the
mirrors, back on their own reflection. “You guys will be surprised.”
“We’ll see,” Jeongguk shrugs, pauses before his voice lowers to a mumble, “as
long as I don’t have to watch you filming porn through your dance again.”
Taehyung slowly smiles to his side profile, hearing it. Of course he hears it.
“Look at you being a cute jealous ass,” the senior bumps his shoulder to
Jeongguk in a playful manner, giggling a bit. “Should I go and dance in pair
with Jimin—”
“Just. Sit. Still,” Taehyung laughs harder when Jeongguk springs so fast to his
feet, ungracious in cutting Taehyung off his sentence. “I’ll get you a drink.
You might want a drink while you watch this right?”
Taehyung shrugs, expression dissolves into something soft that Jeongguk has to
look away and swallow. “As long as it’s free, I’m down for it, honey.”
Jeongguk knows he’s fooling himself to Taehyung’s obvious tease, but he can’t
help the flinch from his body upon the pet name, rolling so sweetly from the
senior’s pretty little lips. When Taehyung releases another beautiful giggle,
turning his back on him is the only action Jeongguk can take in order not to
embarrass himself more before the senior.
“Fucking hell. Just wait there, asshole.” He throws over his shoulder before
Jeongguk exits the room to get their drinks.
He didn’t expect for their meeting to turn out this way. Then again, Jeongguk
didn’t have any preparation either to truly see Taehyung when he rushed here
prior. The only source of beverage available in the studio is from that one
lonely water cooler, and it’s mere plain water, which Jeongguk doesn’t know why
he’s trying so hard when it comes to Taehyung yet here he is, already burst his
entrance into a coffee shop and orders the first drink he can think of in his
mind for Taehyung.
Once he’s back with four cup-holders in his hands, Jimin’s still dancing with
Hoseok watching him like a hawk, expression solemn. He places two drinks beside
that hyung, for Jimin and him, before arranging his steps back to where
Taehyung is swaying his head, enjoying the music.
“How’s it going?” He lowers to the place next to him.
“Dunno. One dance turned to two and two turned to three. This is the fourth
time your senior’s asking Jimin to dance for him. I’m not sure what he wanna
watch anymore.”
“Huh, Hoseok hyung’s just testing him. See if he can endure our long ass
training.” Jeongguk holds a cup with a photo of Zootopia’s Nick as its sleeve.
“Here, your drink.”
Taehyung accepts it while throwing a wink. “Thanks, honey.”
“Call me that again after you taste the drink,” Jeongguk sips from his own cup,
eyes glistening with secretive mirth as he watches Taehyung closely, waiting
for his reaction.
At first, a pure nonchalance is all that the senior shows on his face, couldn’t
sense anything off from his drink except the cute sleeve until he tips his head
back for the first taste and his eyes widen, mouth lingering on the cup to down
a few more sips.
He must have tasted grande, iced, sugar-free, vanilla Latte with soy milk, the
exact obnoxious drink order he has written in the list of Ways to Become Kim
Taehyung’s Perfect Boyfriend, and Jeongguk grins.
“Did…,” he lowers the cup to blink at Jeongguk. “Did you actually memorize the
whole list I wrote?”
Jeongguk hides his smug grin behind the lid of his coffee cup, shrugging in
response.
“Well that’s the only way to be your perfect honey.”
Taehyung goes silent for a while, expression wondering.
“Greasy fuck,” he mutters, rolling his eyes before he catches sight of
Jeongguk’s own cup and nods down at it. “Is that Americano?”
“Wanna taste?” Jeongguk nods while holding up the cup filled with pure black
liquid to Taehyung’s mouth.
“Yucks, no fucking thank you. It’s all black and bitter, how would you even
survive finishing it?” Taehyung pushed it back to Jeongguk.
The junior snorts, but then he freezes to recall something and direct one
filthy stare upon Taehyung.
“I certainly have a way to add a little bit sweetness to this.” Jeongguk shakes
his cup, and drinks more of it, sucking the coffee noisily.
“And I certainly sure this studio keeps no sugar packet to—”
Taehyung doesn’t get to end his words, being rendered to speechless when
Jeongguk leans into him in one quick move that the next thing he blinks his
eyes to, is to the soft, chaste feeling of Jeongguk’s lips against his.
The kiss is neither rough nor passionate.
Instead it’s just an innocent press of lips to another pair of it, with
Jeongguk lingering on the taste before he gently pulls back and curves a smirk
on those same, damn lips.
“But it helps that your lips are sweet enough to cover the taste, yeah?” He
then continues to enjoy his Americano, loving every bit of changes on
Taehyung’s face; from pure shock, to a swift blink of realization and to the
pretty pink blush adoring his delicate cheeks.
Taehyung looks so beautiful when he’s embarrassed and Jeongguk’s grateful he’s
an asshole the way he is just because, holy fuck, he got shy from my tease!
“Oh my god, talk about accusing people for fucking in the dance studio.” Only
then they realize the music’s stopped and Hoseok is standing before them with
judgmental stare while Jimin is panting next to him, wiping his sweat with a
handkerchief but nodding just the same. Hoseok rolls his eyes so hard through a
comment of, “who’s creating inappropriate scene now?”
“Yeah, and it’s a wonder how you can sulk along the previous five days when
that dude was missing,” Jimin comments amusedly, pointing at Jeongguk. “And be
all disgusting together now, Taetae.”
Jeongguk’s smirk deepens to hear this. “What? Is that true?”
Taehyung scrambles for an answer.
“Of—of course not! Are you going to accept him into your team or what?” He
shouts at Hoseok with greater volume than needed that the oldest flinches a
bit.
“What a brilliant topic transition,” is all Hoseok ever responds, the only one
who doesn’t join in Jimin and Jeongguk’s simultaneous snigger at Taehyung’s
flushed cheeks. “But yeah, I’ll let you join us.”
Jimin stops and gapes at him, inhaling deep to blurt out some sort of cheering
only for Hoseok to prevent him with a pointed finger to his face. “Only if, you
come to every single practice no matter how long will it last,” he adds.
“Yes! I’ll be there so let’s rock this competition, hyung!” Jimin doesn’t lose
his enthusiasm, pumping his fist in the air and clapping so loud it has the
president of this dance studio reversing a bit from his burst of happiness in
fear of damaging his ears.
Jeongguk shifts his attention from the best friend duo, just starting to dance
and giggle in circle while holding hands just because Jimin got what he wanted
and Taehyung is happy for him (cute, but not that Jeongguk cares to notice it),
to where Hoseok is turning his back on them, picking up the coffee bought by
Jeongguk and gulping it all the while eyeing Jimin through the mirror he’s
facing on. It’s rare for Hoseok to accept someone in no matter how excellent
that person is in dancing. True, the Jung Hoseok he knows has always been a
friendly, social butterfly of guy who welcomes and appreciates talent
especially in this field he’s passionate about. Yet he’s also a reliable
instructor and responsible president of this dance studio who most of the time
very much protective in polishing and training the skills of the members
within. Their improvement and achievement in dance are his priority before any
outsiders so to actually watch him open this opportunity to Jimin, someone he
probably barely even knows, has been a sort of surprise. Even as Jeongguk
believes in Hoseok’s gut that he might see some potential in Jimin.
Seeing the little upturn of Hoseok’s lips (he’s still staring through the
mirror), however, Jeongguk gets a feeling that maybe it isn’t just solely due
to Jimin’s talent. It might as well due to Jimin’s outrageous eyesmile, all
crinkly and half-moon from the force of his delight.
It’s irony, this whole situation. Taehyung and him, then Hoseok and Jimin,
while Jimin and Taehyung are best friends at the very same time. It’s like they
are all bounded to meet at this point of their life and form some kind of
strange connection despite Jeongguk not feeling sure whether this will end for
good or bad. For now, he will just wait and see. There’s no way of telling the
future after all.
Their day continues on just inside the studio with Hoseok starting to construct
routines and build choreography for the said competition while having Jimin and
Jeongguk help him here and there with suggestions. Hoseok even asks Jeongguk to
try the movements out with him which the younger simply denies because “I’m
here to hang out, not to get sweaty” and lucky for him, Jimin saves the day by
willingly offers to be in Jeongguk’s place instead. Hoseok doesn’t push on
further, rolling his eyes all too knowingly as he’s aware the real reason
Jeongguk doesn’t want to dance not because he can’t get sweaty (they have the
fucking showers here, and Jeongguk always keeps his extra plain boring tees in
his locker), but rather because Jeongguk is too absorb in competing Piano Tiles
against the new boy he’s brought with him today. The boy with his boxy smile
and soft eyes, one that Hoseok never heard of from Jeongguk yet now that he’s
here, he is all Jeongguk has eyes for. Hoseok can see that.       
10 p.m., four empty coffee cups, and a triumphant shout from Jeongguk later
that Hoseok finally makes a loud announcement of “well that’s a wrap! Let’s
clean up and go back!” There’s a background noise of Jimin pleading (read:
whining) for Hoseok to lend him his shirt upon the reason that he came here
unprepared and all smelly with sweat now which Hoseok responds something but
Jeongguk listens no more upon the cute sight of Taehyung pouting, disappointed
for his lost in the game. Jeongguk teases him further, saying he’s gone easy on
Taehyung by competing just on the simplest mode. The senior lost to him,
nevertheless, concluding that he’s just honestly having bad hand-eye
coordination. Taehyung has shoved him down at that, erupting laughter from
Jeongguk until he stands up with a sigh and Jeongguk recalls something upon
hearing that pitiful sound.
“Taehyung…,” he watches his silhouette from behind once Hoseok switches off the
lamps in the studio and the senior glances over his shoulder, an eyebrow arched
to the hesitance visible on Jeongguk’s face. “Hm?”
“I’m sorry for avoiding you this whole week.”
Jeongguk feels like he owe him an apology even when Taehyung makes no move to
voice out his thoughts regarding what happened in the club, his note or how
both of them had obviously noticed the way Jeongguk blatantly pushed Taehyung
without any clear explanation, just on abrupt disappearance.
He steals a look at Taehyung and the longer the senior keeps silent, the more
Jeongguk is urged to elaborate himself. “I—”
“It’s okay,” as simple as that, comes his reply.
Taehyung’s eyes are still calm and beautiful; so, so beautiful it hurts
Jeongguk knowing he doesn’t deserve this easy forgiveness. He doesn’t deserve
Taehyung’s kindness and fond gaze that takes Jeongguk’s breath away and leaves
his chest beating hurtfully. It pains even more when Taehyung says, “I know
it’s not your obligation to always stay with me to get rid of Mr. Kang. I hung
out with Jimin so it wasn’t really a problem—”
“But I wasn’t just avoiding you for that.”
Jeongguk cuts him off too quickly, too desperate that he notices how Taehyung
flinches a little. He does nothing more than stare at him, waiting for his
explanation but it’s Jeongguk who has become tongue-tied. He’s the one who has
no clue how to put his feelings into words and utter them out to Taehyung. He’s
the one who doesn’t know how to tell him that he avoided him not because he
didn’t want to help Taehyung with Mr. Kang, but because he’s a shit who can’t
deal with the conflict of keeping the senior by his side while at the same time
not feeling guilty towards his mother.
Because that’s what he has so carefully planned from the beginning, right? Be
close to Kim Taehyung, gain his trust and then break him with the fact that he
shouldn’t stand in between Dr. Jeon and his mother. A revenge.
Miserably now, Jeongguk starts to feel he want Taehyung by his side for an
entire different reason.
And that’s a problem. Major problem, in fact.
“I…I want you to give me a chance,” but separating himself from Taehyung for a
week straight helps Jeongguk to come to a decision. He has always been a daring
risk taker after all, so he looks straight up to the senior and says, “If it’s
possible, give a chance for us to be friends. For me to be your friend and get
to know you better.”
Because Taehyung showed up here today. Taehyung cancelled his meet-up with Dr.
Jeon to be with him. So it has got to mean something, right?
Perhaps becoming friends is a good start for a risk. An unknown risk.
Taehyung reads him long and intense until Hoseok pokes his head inside from
behind the door and squints at them.
“Hey, what are you two still doing? Come on, I gotta lock this place.”
Jeongguk breaks the eye contact first, being reminded of the fact that who’s in
their right mind would want to be friend with a complex stranger who has so
suddenly appeared in their life and be all over it in the most suspicious way?
Not Kim Taehyung, obviously. Jeongguk remembers the senior telling him how they
couldn’t be close since he didn’t trust him. Does not trust him, still. And for
that, Jeongguk breathes a soft sigh akin to a disappointment before he
sidesteps Taehyung to leave. A step forward and the senior catches his wrist.
“Well I thought we were already something,” Taehyung finally says. “Because if
we’re not, I won’t be here today.”
So they share the same mindset. Taehyung came here for Jeongguk, and Jeongguk
rushed here for Taehyung. They could’ve cut all ties today if they wanted to
and still, here they are.
Jeongguk swallows the guilt and takes the risk.
He twists his hand open until Taehyung’s palm falls onto his and clasps them
together, firm like he’s always wanted to hold Taehyung. This tight, this
close.
Jeongguk slowly climbs his gaze up to Taehyung.
“So…friends?”
Taehyung’s beautiful, rectangle smile afterward makes the risk worth it. Even
if just for now.
“Friends.”
 
===============================================================================
 
Holding Taehyung’s hand is nice.
And that’s why Jeongguk refuses to let go of the warm, huge palm even as he
navigates their way out of the studio while Hoseok is locking the main entrance
and tells Taehyung, “Let’s go, I’ll walk you home.”
Taehyung seems to agree with him, doesn’t open his mouth or untangle their
hands. It’s Jimin, however, who stops the two from walking further with his own
hands raise high in front of Jeongguk, frowning to him.
“Wow, stop right there.” His eyes drop with obvious suspicion upon their
entwined palms. “Since when did you two become the type to walk each other
home?”
“Since we become friends just now?” Jeongguk answers him absentmindedly,
pulling Taehyung to walk together again but Jimin prevents them once more, not
convinced.
“But I’ve been friends with Tae longer than you so I’ll be walking him home—”
“What kind of bullshi—”
“Actually,” Taehyung interjects when the two seem like they won’t stop standing
for their points once they’ve started. But it’s getting late, and they really
need their respective rest at home so Taehyung slips his hand free from
Jeongguk, albeit a bit hesitant, before he smiles up to his best friend. “None
of you should’ve bothered. I can walk myself home and isn’t your house opposite
from my way? So no worries, Jiminie.”
Hoseok finally comes to stand next to the shortest boy, pointing to the left
side of the road. “Wait, you take this way home? We should walk together then.”
Jimin clicks his tongue. “But I—”
“I may or may not be telling you details about the upcoming competition if you
walk with me so…,” Hoseok adjusts the strip of his bag and flashes Jimin a
smile too bright for the darkening night. “Lead the way?”
Jimin contemplates, looking back and forth from Taehyung and Jeongguk, then to
Hoseok and at last, he could only sigh, surrendering.
“Aish, you better get him safely to home!” It’s all that he warns to a bored-
looking Jeongguk before flashing a tight smile to Taehyung. “I’ll see you at
work, Taetae.”
His best friend nods and waves up, “Night, Jiminie!”
They watch until Hoseok and Jimin disappear around the corner at the end of the
road before Taehyung pivots to the opposite side and starts walking ahead,
leaving Jeongguk to catch up. He does not catch up, being slowed down by his
own deep thoughts. Even after they reach another street, Jeongguk finds himself
following from behind the slow, tiny steps of Taehyung while the senior walks
with his hands kept inside the pockets of his jacket—Jeongguk’s jacket. They
exchange no word to each other along the silent walk but every now and then,
Jeongguk notices the quick looks Taehyung would throw over his shoulders just
to make sure Jeongguk’s still following close.
Not until they corner around one of the junctions that Taehyung is slowing his
steps almost as if he doesn’t walk, and Jeongguk realizes this, which he
quickens his pace right until he’s side by side with the senior and can
practically see how their shadows match together on the road. Taehyung
continues back to stroll with the steady speed as he did before.
“I really can walk myself back, you know.” Taehyung says at last, breaking the
awkward tension between them. Jeongguk briefly glances sideway to check if the
senior is looking at him but he glues his eyes still upon their shadows. “You
don’t have to trouble yourself.”
“I’m not troubling myself. I take the same route to my place after all.”
Taehyung somehow chuckles at this. “But you don’t even know where I’m living,
how can you be so sure of that?”
That’s the moment he realizes Taehyung’s correct when the buildings revealing
themselves along the road are getting familiar to Jeongguk. Yet it’s nowhere
near any neighborhood, still in the middle of the thick town.
“Wait,” Jeongguk’s steps flatter, no longer could contain his confusion. “Isn’t
this the route back to the club?”
He questions with eyes roaming around until Taehyung stops facing him and
Jeongguk frowns at the mysterious smile displayed by the senior. Once
Jeongguk’s waited enough, he finally confesses.
“Yeah, that’s where I’m staying. They let me live in a room behind the club.”
It takes a while for the reality to sink in.
Taehyung, 19 years old, has no proper house or family, just a roof over his
head and he only gets to stay there due to his job as a hooker.
When it does sink in, it dips hard into his head and crashes against Jeongguk’s
reality. And Jeongguk’s breath somehow catches, staring at Taehyung long and
quiet as if he couldn’t understand how the senior could get through such life.
All Taehyung does is flashes him a smile in return.
“Still wanna be my friend, rich kid? I have a high chance of being a bad
influence to you.” He comments with light tone, even as he gets to read
Jeongguk like an open book.
It’s like a wake-up call to the junior that Taehyung also is a human with a
complicated story to his side. But he already taken the risk, doesn’t he? So
it’s a point of no return, and Jeongguk accepts that.
He cracks his own signature bad-boy-but-attractive-as-hell smirk to reply
Taehyung.
“I’m not even a very good person to begin with. Bad is good for me.” Jeongguk
finds himself surprisingly genuine when he states that and the beam he gets
from Taehyung before they continue walking only strengthens the choice
Jeongguk’s made to stay friends with him.
The entrance to the club finally comes into their sight and Jeongguk expects
Taehyung to go in straight. What he doesn’t expect is for him to linger,
fidgeting from foot to foot and teeth biting his lower lip as if he’s waiting
for something.
“What? You’re not going inside?”
“Nothing, just…,” he studies Jeongguk’s confused blinks for a moment before
Taehyung lets out a chuckle and shakes his head. “Memorize the list again.”
Jeongguk rakes his brain out of Taehyung’s strange request, mind going through
the list so furiously until he catches his meaning and smirks on automatic.
“Ahh,” it stops Taehyung from walking further. “Are you seriously waiting for a
goodnight kiss?”
Taehyung still has his back on him, yet from the way that back becomes rigid,
Jeongguk gets the sign that he’s not wrong. He’s smiling all the way he waits
for Taehyung to blurt something out and when he just scrambles to get up the
stairs, Jeongguk’s laughter cracks.
“Oh, your coat…,” the senior only stops once he looks down and notices he still
doesn’t return that jacket back to its rightful owner.
He’s about to peel it off his body but Jeongguk denies him. “Keep it.”
“Huh?” Taehyung finally meets him in the eyes.
Jeongguk walks a few steps forward until he’s right in front of Taehyung and
says, “It’s yours. Keep it—”
He doesn’t get to finish his words because now, it’s Taehyung’s turn to steal
his breath and suck in the rest of his voice by pasting their lips together.
Jeongguk struggles to snap his eyes close, wanting to return the kiss, yet it
ends so soon with Taehyung pulling away and red already coloring his cheeks.
None of them able to do anything other than to stay staring dumbly upon each
other. Taehyung might have felt like he needs to explain the sudden kiss that
he later only mumbles an incoherent “There’sagoodnightkissinthelist.”
It’s cute. It is so damn cute to see the senior struggling for a valid reason
to kiss him. Not that Jeongguk mind it even a bit. He likes it too much instead
as he takes a bold step and leans until their lips are an inch apart.
“Thought you wouldn’t ask at all.” And the whisper is followed by a quick peck
he drops on Taehyung’s lips. Which turns into another small peck, from Taehyung
to him. Then Jeongguk to Taehyung, and Taehyung to Jeongguk again until the
junior couldn’t accept it to only get the brief taste of Taehyung’s soft lips
and he pushes closer for their mouths to mold deeper and the kiss gets tenser.
It’s quite long for a goodnight kiss that they practice only based from
Taehyung’s ridiculous list until Taehyung has to pull back, separating them to
catch their breath and he reaches his thumb up for a gentle sweep across
Jeongguk’s swollen bottom lip.
A small, secretive but meaningful smile appears just for him, and Jeongguk
makes sure to kiss the thumb before Taehyung retrieves it.
“Goodnight, Jeongguk.”
Jeongguk stands there, subconsciously aware of how he has his own little
foolish smile on his face along the way Taehyung’s getting into the club. Only
once he vanishes from his eyes that Jeongguk wonders, what kind of friends kiss
so fleetingly like them.
 
===============================================================================
 
Who the fuck says being a personal assistant is easy?
No one.
Not to Kim Seokjin, at least, when he was in absolute, complete, definite and
total shitty situation of being a freshly graduated, Business Administration
degree holder who was jobless with every single job application been rejected
and mounting bills—plus a scholarship—to be paid. Which in a nut shell, no, not
even a soul on earth had ever told him a personal assistant to a corporate
executive was a work as easy as ABC.
But Seokjin was in his worst days. He had no time to be choosy but feel
grateful if there was someone willing enough to hire him, in any decent form of
a job ever.
And that was when time brought him to a small, lonely coffee shop to slouch
over a wooden table, crossing out yet another one of the company list in the
middle of his not-so-productive job hunting day, to meet a high-profile man who
introduced himself as Dr. Jeon Ryeonwook.
He had been alone, nursing his own hot coffee, two stools away from Seokjin
when the man groaned in despair and had pushed his CV a little too aggressively
until it thumped down next to the doctor’s shiny leather shoes. They looked up
to each other for a brief second with Seokjin noticing he had just distracting
the older man from the reading he was doing on his Mac and had bowed to him,
bending to collect his CV the moment that document fell to the hand of that
hospital director.
There wasn’t much discussion done while Dr. Jeon was going through his CV,
taking note that Seokjin was 22, in desperate need of money and apparently just
somebody fresh he was looking for to handle his professional deals.
Needless to say, it was the day that marked Seokjin’s end as the jobless man
and his start as the personal assistant to the highest director of a medical
center, Dr. Jeon.
Recalling that time now explains why Seokjin couldn’t complain about the burden
of his job no matter how tiring it is. Exactly just as this moment where any
human with normal sleeping pattern should be asleep but not him who’s still
sitting before his laptop and typing on a paperwork with his fourth coffee
intake to help him get through the night. Or, get through the damn planning of
a grand launching for an upcoming Jeon Medical Center branch in Yangju.
There are still so much to do, especially the VIP seat arrangement that Seokjin
still frowns upon, pausing a second once he remembers how Jeongguk wants to be
there as well, and wonders where he should include Jeongguk and hispartner
among those elites. He reaches blindly for his mug to down whatever is left in
there only to realize he’s finished the fourth cup. Time for the fifth now.
Shrugging at the possibility of being crashed on sugar rush, Seokjin gets up
and enters the kitchen since he knows he won’t be getting any sleep tonight,
not with another board director meeting waiting ahead for him to attend as Dr.
Jeon’s sidekick in a few hours away. Seokjin can detect how the sway from his
body has started to make him delirious. Yet he blinks the dizziness away and
stands firmer in front of his coffee brewer, about to reach out for jug when a
pair of arms circles his waist from behind, instantly signals to Seokjin of
someone’s presence against his back.   
“Jesus—get away from—”
“So what’s the price to get you actually pay attention to me, Mr. Kim?” Warm
breath that carries such a sensual, deep voice vibrates next to his left ear
and Seokjin sighs, melting into the arms which tightening the moment the person
knows Seokjin recognizes him.
“Kim Namjoon,” he chastises.
“That’s my name, gorgeous.” Namjoon laughs warmly, lips still pressed to his
ear before Seokjin feels he kiss it and turns around to face a tall, lanky man
with more piercings and tattoos than skin on his whole body.
He pretends his heart doesn’t soften upon seeing the appearance of Namjoon’s
dimples as he smiles at him.
“Did you climb over my window again?”
“You never fucking close it, even at 3 in the morning.” Seokjin rolls his eyes
to the reason he gets. “Sometimes I feel you leave it open just for me to sneak
inside because you wouldn’t let me in from the front door. Afraid of the
neighbors or some shit.”
Namjoon shrugs, letting go of him so he could avoid Seokjin’s stern gaze by
picking up the jug and pouring the coffee himself. Seokjin shakes his head.
“I’m not afraid of the neighbors seeing you,” he informs though he can tell
Namjoon isn’t convinced from the way he smirks behind the mug he’s drinking on.
“You just never appear at any humanly accepted hour. Look at the clock.”
Namjoon follows his pointed finger to where the clock is ticking on the wall
before he places the mug atop the counter and crosses his arms, throwing
Seokjin a petulant stare in return.
“And even if I do come at a proper time, would you’ve let me in? I bet you
won’t even reply to my text if I ever suggest—”
“I literally replied to your text 5 minutes ago, Namjoon-ah.”
“But have you ever considered of asking me to come over? It’s been a week since
I met you and the most we’ve done is texting each other. You don’t even come to
the club anymore and as your fiancé,” his tone deepens there, stepping close to
Seokjin so he can see the heaviness in his eyes. “Don’t I even have the right
to miss you?”
Seokjin swallows, the quietness hangs in the air feels like a threat to him. He
hates it when Namjoon speaks reality. He hates it even more when he can’t quite
live on said reality.
“Of course you have the right,” he settles instead for what can ease the heart
of the man before him, tugging him close until they’re pressed chest to chest,
words are whispered between them. “I’ve missed you too but I’m just—”
“Busy with stuff and shit, I know.” Namjoon finishes for him, sounds a bit like
a sad truth to him. “You’re the PA of a fucking hospital director, surely you
have ton of matters to deal with. I getthat.”
“Are you really just showing up here to argue with me?”
“No, not really.” Namjoon brings a thumb up to caress across his cheek. “I
wanted to see you in person and I meant it when I said I missed you.”
“I missed you too, baby.” Seokjin replies through a sigh, resting their
foreheads against one another and closing his eyes to breathe Namjoon in, to
openly miss him. “So much.”
“If you missed me, then make out with me.”
Those words are planted right on his lips and Seokjin never gets to respond as
he only opens his mouth to be covered by Namjoon’s, gasp swallowed by him with
tongue insists on exploring every taste of Seokjin like he has been thirsty for
days. He’s not alone though, Seokjin is just as equally passionate, snaking one
hand around Namjoon’s neck while the other trails from his nape and up to his
hair where he grabs a fistful of it, kissing messier, pressing closer.
Seokjin is pretty much sure he’s got no air left in his lungs as the entirety
of it has been diligently stolen by his one and only Namjoon, thinking that
when he pushes him backward to bump to the kitchen counter is for them to
separate and catch their breath. But again, he’s not given a time for that
since Namjoon only moves to cup his thighs and lifts him in a swift movement up
to the top of the counter and even then, their kisses never falter, growing
much intense in fact. Namjoon slots himself between Seokjin’s parted legs to
close the gap between them as much as he can and not until his hand wonders to
palm the heat under his zipper that Seokjin bites hard enough to bruise his
bottom lip, shuddering Namjoon to a stop.
“Not now, baby.” He pants with much difficulty, mind still reeling from the
kisses.
“I’m working on a few paperwork now which I aim to finish them tonight,”
Seokjin then jumps off the counter, rewarding Namjoon one more peck on his red
swollen lips before he picks up the mug to exit the kitchen. An audibly pouting
Namjoon is right behind. “So if you can wait till then, we can continue with
that and other…fun stuff.”
This somehow puts back the dimpled smile on his fiance’s face and Namjoon
arranges two chairs in row of Seokjin’s seat to drop his head in the elder’s
lap, lying across those chairs while Seokjin channels back his focus upon the
work in hand. The first 10 minutes goes by productively with Namjoon contents
himself to listening to music on his Iphone. Until he snuggles his face into
the elder’s stomach that Seokjin glances down at him.
“Have you been okay? How’s that mixtape you working on?” He runs a hand through
his dark blond hair, eyes jump back to the screen.
“I’m fine,” Namjoon answers. “And I’m almost done with that. I’ll be performing
it live in the club in about another fortnight. You should come watch it.”
Seokjin’s about to promise him a date when Namjoon chuckles and shakes his
head, as if remembering something.
“Or maybe not…,” his voice trails, switching Seokjin’s deep gaze on him.
“You’re busy after all so I’ll just give you a copy—”
“I’ll go, Namjoonie.”
A silence where they just stare on each other.
“I’ll make time for your performance,” Seokjin promises. “And for us.”
“So have some more faith in me and show me your dimples,” he dips his head down
to kiss both corners of Namjoon’s lips. “They’re important to me.”
Namjoon laughs a minute after, pushing Seokjin’s face away so he can sit back
up. “Cheesy asshole.”
“Lovely fiancé, you mean.”
“Yeah, you are my lovely fiancé.”
Namjoon leans forward to him just in time when Seokjin turns his cheek for a
kiss that his fiancé meant to place there. A short laughter rings between them,
unable to stand on how unhealthily romantic they are before Namjoon gives the
screen a once over and catches sight of a picture.
“Hey, I know this guy.” He squints while pointing upon Dr. Jeon’s family photo,
specifically upon the son of the wealthy family.
Seokjin frowns sideway to him. “This?”
“Yeah, I met him twice in the club. Who’s he? Why do you have his picture?”
“He’s my—wait,” Seokjin cuts off his sentence upon a realization. “What did you
say? You met him twice in the club? What did he even do there?”
“Well at first he came to ask me about someone, one of our staffs. The second
time, he was all over that staff.”
“The club staff?”
Namjoon nods and when there’s no trace of playfulness in his face, Seokjin
hurriedly urges him, “Which one? What’s his name? Do you have his picture? Can
you show me his face?”
“Wow, wow, wow…tone down the excitement, baby.” It’s Namjoon’s turn to frown at
him, finally suspecting something off. “What’s with you obsessing over this
dude and his shit? Should I be worried?”
“What, no! He’s my boss’ son, why should you feel insecure over him?”
“Wait, he’s the son of your boss?” Namjoon widens his eyes upon Jeon Jeongguk’s
photo. “Well no wonder he looked like a rich bastard. He is a rich bastard. He
even paid me a lot just to dig information about this one guy.”
“That’s what I’m asking you. Who’s that guy? The guy who he asked information
about.”
His fiancé turns to him with a raised eyebrow, rubbing his chin. “You’re acting
suspicious, Seokjin-ah. I’m starting to think you might have a hot for this
dude.”
Seokjin snaps close his eyes, feeling his patience thinning. “Oh my fuck, don’t
be ridiculous, Kim Namjoon! Why should I like someone like him?”
“Well I met him in person and he was admittedly hot. And rich. And your boss’
son so he practically has everything,” Namjoon reasons.
“But he’s not you and I don’t fuck any other men except for this one tattooed,
heavily-pierced, insecure idiot, who’s a poor club DJ with his stupidly cute
dimples that is you. I’m in love with you. Only you,” Seokjin declares without
hesitation, tired that Namjoon always seems to doubt him. “So stop the nonsense
shit and answer my question!”
Namjoon stares long and deep on him, expression awed before he bursts out
laughing so loud.
“That was one good shit of a confession to be heard from you, Seokjin hyung.”
“Wait, what—are you doing it on purpose?” Seokjin throws him a dirty look.
“Hmm, let’s see,” Namjoon pretends to think hard.
“I’ll tell you everything you wanna know about that dude,” he juts his chin to
the screen. “If you finish your paperwork while I blow you.”
Seokjin falls silent, and so does Namjoon—minus the clear mischief shining in
his eyes. He could only watch in stupidity as Namjoon slides his body in
between his thighs and then disappears down the table until Seokjin could only
see the top of his blond hair, hands already reaching to unzip his jeans and
Seokjin jerks awake.
“Holy fuck—what are you doing, Namjoon?”
“You said we can move on to the fun stuff after you finish that,” Namjoon peers
up through puppy eyes at him. “But I won’t be telling you what you wanna know
if you can’t finish that while I suck your dick so get on to it.”
And there’s nothing to stop his fiancé once he’s determined to do something.
Which in this case, to suck his dick as Seokjin throws his head back upon the
kittenish licks Namjoon gives to the head once he’s got his cock in his hands,
strokes made easier by his own spit.
“Nam—shit…joon.”
“Get it done, hyung. Aren’t you the best PA ever in the world?”
“You fuckin—evil…argh…”
“Love you too, hyung.”
Long story short, it’s a total struggle for Seokjin. He tries multitasking
between arranging the VIP seats, praying hard to not wrong any of their names,
and relishing on the absolute bless of having Namjoon’s warm, tight throat
around his cock which so obvious never an easy task to begin with. More
difficult even, in compare to his daily tasks as a personal assistant.
Namjoon continues with his torturous speed, bobbing his head through a constant
licking and sucking until the tip of his nose almost touches the base of
Seokjin’s stomach that he knows he wouldn’t last long.
“Nam—namjoon…I…ahh—”
He grips the edge of the table so tight his knuckles turn white when he comes
and Namjoon swallows a load of it, milking him thoroughly just so Seokjin gets
his full high before ending with a tender kiss to the head. He climbs right
back up into Seokjin’s lap after zipping his jeans, cupping Seokjin’s face in
between his palms just to kiss the man on his lips and share his own taste with
him. Seokjin pulls back to rest against the chair, curving a lazy smile for his
most unbelievable but loving fiancé while Namjoon chuckles, running a hand
through Seokjin’s lengthening fringes. He admittedly feels more relaxed than
before Namjoon appeared here.
“His name is V,” Namjoon says and Seokjin instantly furrows back, remembering
the reason why his fiancé insisted to blow him before.
“V?”
“His real name is Kim Taehyung. He’s a bartender, dancer, singer and part time
hooker in the club. That’s the dude Jeon Jeongguk was asking about.”
Seokjin looks away, an image of a beautiful young boy, face heavy with make-up
and lips permanently curved with a smirk while he danced so wildly one night in
the club comes into his mind. Seokjin presses his mouth thinner.
“You wanna see his picture? I have a group photo—”
“No.” Namjoon halts from picking up his phone once Seokjin interrupts him.
“No?”
“If it’s V, then I know him.”
“Huh?”
Now he understands the pieces, of why Jeongguk went to the night club, of why
Jeongguk sought for the boy, and of why Jeongguk demanded to be at the upcoming
gala.
“…I think I know why Jeongguk is trying to get close to him.”
Already could Seokjin tell, the plan isn’t going to be pretty.
 
===============================================================================
 
Jeongguk isn’t a fan of Monday morning. Let’s be real, he’s not a fan of plenty
other things too but there’s something about the ritual of waking up early and
spreading peanut butter jam across his bread as a poor excuse for breakfast
makes him moodier for the very beginning of the week. Even as he knows he’s a
moody morning person in general. This situation takes place if he’s alone in
his apartment. Today, however, he wakes up to the delicious smell of pancake
and French toast with his beloved mother already there in the kitchen to
complete the already-perfect breakfast with Jeongguk’s favorite hot chocolate.
It doesn’t have to go as far as the breakfast, a bright smile from Mrs. Jeon
herself is enough to reduce the moodiness in Jeongguk. He decides, he likes
having Mrs. Jeon around the house even if he has to deal with another huge
inconvenience around the table that is his father.
Dr. Jeon has asked him first thing first as he sits down, “Are you still
attending that useless art school?” Jeongguk notices the slight discomfort in
his mother’s face from where she’s standing before the sink so he sets his
expression to look nonchalant and replies “I don’t know an educated doctor can
be so disrespectful towards knowledge. Art’s still a kind of knowledge, you
know. Just because we don’t slice frogs for learning process, that doesn’t mean
we art people are total dumb pants.”Dr. Jeon looks so close to throw his milk
glass straight to Jeongguk’s face which he, in return, just flashes him a grin
and chews his pancake obnoxiously.
So Jeongguk deems, yeah, his Monday morning isn’t so bad. Make better even,
once he walks past the cafeteria and catches Kim Taehyung from the corner of
his eyes. It definitely is a good Monday morning.  
“Morning, beautiful.” Jeongguk greets as soon as he’s close enough to bend from
behind the senior to drop a brief kiss upon the crown of his head.
Taehyung looks up, eyes enlarging a bit to the unexpectedness of seeing
Jeongguk while the junior takes advantage of his position to dip further and
scatter quick kisses on his cheeks, chin, forehead and one on that tiny mole by
the tip of his nose. Taehyung shudders, dodging him with tan skin already
marred reddish from his awareness of people around staring at them.
“What—what are you doing?”
Jeongguk chuckles, “Rule number 13: Morning greet and kisses all over the face
is one huge, complete package—”
“Okay, okay, I get that!”
Taehyung holds up his hands in act of surrender, doesn’t let Jeongguk complete
his sentence as he scrambles to stand up and leave. Jeongguk watches him with
amused smirk hanging on his face, couldn’t understand why the senior still
finds a reason to feel shy when he’s the one made the list.
“You seriously don’t know how cheesy your boyfriend list, do you?”
Taehyung throws him one last distasteful look before he excuses himself to the
exit of the cafeteria, back rigid upon Jeongguk’s scrutinizing stare. He’s too
busy smiling like an idiot that he almost doesn’t notice a presence of someone
next to him a second later.
“Don’t lead him on, Jeon.”
Jeongguk glances to meet the stern look of Park Jimin. He sighs before turning
to match the way Jimin’s folded his arms across his chest, eyebrows shoot up in
question.
“What do you mean, Park?”
“It’s sunbae-nim to you,” Jimin growls which Jeongguk doesn’t get why this guy
despises his presence so much around Taehyung. “And you know exactly what I
mean. To be honest, I don’t like how you’re all over Tae.”
Jeongguk keeps quiet to listen even if he’s started to dislike where this
conversation is going.
“You show up in his life like a fake coincidence. Do and say whatever the fuck
you feel like doing and saying, then you fuck off to wherever god knows. I hate
having to watch Tae look glum and down the way he was last week. Especially
when the reason was you.”
Some of the ice melts from his face at the thought of making Taehyung sad. But
Jeongguk isn’t the most honest person ever when it comes to speaking out his
feelings so he gulps the uneasiness and looks Jimin down as if what he just
said isn’t a concern.
“Look, I don’t care if you’re some kind of overprotective old nanny to
Taehyung—”
“You—”
“—but I do know what kind of relation I want to have with him.”
He steels himself at the way Jimin’s clenching his jaw.
“And if Taehyung doesn’t want me, he would’ve told me to fuck off earlier and
I’ll gladly listen to what he wants,” surprisingly, he’s telling him the truth,
despite being someone with motive behind Kim Taehyung. He peers over Jimin’s
shoulders and narrows his eyes to see Taehyung’s still there by the café
entrance. “So instead of worrying about me, how about you worry about that?”
Jimin looks back to where Jeongguk’s nodding his head. His best friend has
obviously being blocked by the one and only jerk disguising himself as the so
called teacher here in the school, Mr. Kang. They’re just talking, yet the
frowns on Taehyung’s face are more than enough to tell he’s uncomfortable
conversing with the older man. Jimin purses his lips, annoyed.
“Do you even know how that asswipe been pestering your best friend, sunbae-
nim?” Jeongguk questions and Jimin directs his sharp glare to him.
“I know.”
“And you did nothing to help get rid of him?”
“Don’t you dare turn this on me!” Jimin snaps, stepping close to Jeongguk. “I
can’t risk Tae losing his job just because of that one douchebag! He fucking
needs the job!”
Jeongguk only rolls his eyes at the outburst. “Talk like it’s the only job in
the world. I think you’re just being cowardice.”
“I—”
“Never mind. You can still help him without risking his job.”
Jimin looks nowhere close to stay listening to the foolish idea Jeongguk
already has in his mind but then, “How?”
Jeongguk winks at him.
“What’s better way to live high school than with some pranks?”
 
===============================================================================
 
Prank comes in variation. Whether it’s intended for a surprise, joke,
humiliation or hurting, a part of Jimin’s rational brain already whispers to
him how this isn’t a good idea regardless of the intention behind their plan.
And it’s a teacher they’re targeting on, for crying out loud. But seriously,
it’s not like the plan will go anywhere near a bloodbath or anything else that
could cause a physical harm—says Jimin’s other side of brain, one that hates
Mr. Kang more than anything. It involves only a bottle of glue, and maybe Mr.
Kang’s dignity—which according to Jeongguk, wouldn’t lose that much since
they’re not doing it in front of a big crowd. It will just be inside of his own
office, really.
So yeah, they begin by following Taehyung and Mr. Kang to his single office,
located near the Archery Club House before Jimin goes to his ‘position’ to
standby (whatever makes Jeon freaking Jeongguk happy with his unnecessary
detective fetish) while Jeongguk waits next to the wall, eavesdropping upon Mr.
Kang who’s on his phone.
“Yeah, one suite at Oakwood Hotel. This Saturday, check in around 2 pm,
thanks.” Mr. Kang has been brief about the phone call, seemingly just booked a
hotel room for his weekend holiday or whatever unimportant that Jeongguk heard
but doesn’t want to pay heavier attention on, until he dismisses the call and
steps inside again. Jeongguk exhales for an impatient minute before he slips
out and stops exactly beside the door, listening inside.
“I think you know why I’m calling you to my office,” Jeongguk doesn’t like the
tone he’s using on Taehyung, as if he’s trying to assert his dominance upon the
latter and make him feel small. “You skipped the training for 3 days straight
without any reasonable excuse last week so I’m giving you penalty—”
“Excuse me, sir.” Both Taehyung and the man turn around the moment Jeongguk
steps into the room, confusion on Taehyung’s face and annoyance on Mr. Kang’s.
Jeongguk suddenly remembers the first time he interrupted them like this to get
the senior out just because he wanted to disturb him.
Now that he’s here again, Jeongguk realizes he truly wants to save Taehyung. A
kind of genuineness so raw it shakes Jeongguk a little in his heart.
“What are you doing, Jeon? Entering my office without permission, go and wait
outside!”
“I’m sorry if I’m being rude, sir.” Ignoring the bite in the instructor’s
voice, Jeongguk comes to stand next to Taehyung and raise one sarcastic eyebrow
at him. “But I realize you’re giving penalty to Taehyung sunbae-nim for
skipping the training last week which for the record, I did the same too. I
guess it’s only fair for us to do the penalty together.”
“And who do you think you’re to decide things for me, Jeon? I’ll decide when
you will get your punishment. For now, leave!”
“I see,” Jeongguk smiles despite the spiteful look he received, eyes subtly
shift to where Mr. Kang has his back on. “And what if I say, I won’t leave
until I know what my penalty is?”
It happens quick and sly while Jeongguk’s uttering the question; a small figure
belongs to none other than Park Jimin slips through the office door before he
crawls on his knees and palms, closer to a chair situated right behind where
Mr. Kang is standing. Jimin throws a filthy grin to Taehyung, winking at him
before he—
Taehyung almost gasps in surprise but Jeongguk is fast to press a hand over his
lower back, secretly silencing him. Taehyung clamps his mouth shut and simply
watches as Mr. Kang lowers to his seat, oblivious to what’s on it as he’s too
enraged at Jeongguk.
“Do not test my patience, Jeon Jeongguk. The consequence might be ug—”
And that’s when Mr. Kang freezes, feeling the sticky glue basking through his
pants while Jeongguk smirks triumphantly.
“Ah, so you said you’ll decide on my penalty right?”
“Who—how—”
Mr. Kang’s no longer listening to them, frantically trying to get up instead,
only to fail since the superglue plastered his butts firm to the chair, wetting
his palm when he grips against the edge of the chair. Glue, messy and sticky
glue’s everywhere.
“Then how about, you figure out how to get up from there first, Mr. Kang?” The
instructor furiously glares up at Jeongguk.
“You useless—”
“We’ll excuse ourselves for now, sir.”
“Yah! Don’t you dare—”
But Jeongguk already has Taehyung’s hand in his, leading the senior outside as
if Mr. Kang doesn’t bark like a mad dog behind them. They corner past the wall
of the office and come to face with Jimin who crouches on the floor, laughing
his stomach out.
“Jiminie,” Taehyung frowns at him while Jeongguk chuckles.
“For once, it’s useful that you’re small.”
This stops Jimin from his laughter, standing back up to his feet and smacking
the youngest on his head. Jeongguk hisses.
“Learn some respect, you little shit!”
Taehyung watches the two unimpressively, remembering how Jimin had poured the
whole bottle of the superglue to all over Mr. Kang’s chair before he crawled
away, an image so much like a guilty rat. “Are you two in this together?”
“Well, what does it look like?” Jeongguk shrugs, walking again while he gets
hold of Taehyung’s hand once more. “Let’s go, you should come with me instead
of go back to your class. That scumbag must be searching for you after this.”
“Hey, wait up!” But Jimin blocks them, trying to get Taehyung to stand with
him. “He can’t just skip the class, we’re third year seniors and we have big
exam.”
“Yeah, I also happened to hear that Tae’s still on top of the class despite
spending half of his time doodling shit so can we just go?”
And go, they are. Jimin can only watch from behind, sighing to himself as
Jeongguk continues to drag Taehyung away and his friend, for once in as long as
Jimin’s known him, lets the other boy lead his way to wherever it is along as
he’s with Jeongguk. But Taehyung glances back at him, smiling and waving his
hand almost giddily which Jimin chooses to believe his best friend, who seems
to believe in Jeongguk.
 
===============================================================================
 
Come with me was by no mean to somewhere fancy. They end up just strolling way
to the back of the school yard and finally stop at an abandoned field, just a
small centimeter square of grass, clearly have been left to grow meadows and
bushes since the school built a wider soccer field at the other side of the
institute. Jeongguk drops his body across the grass while Taehyung takes his
place on a rusty bench a few feet away, fishing out his sketchbook and
beginning to draw in there. Every once in a while, Jeongguk glimpses at him but
Taehyung does nothing more than to stay quiet, too absorb in his doodling.   
“You know, I was once in a science high school where they taught me shit about
vitamin D. They said the more you expose your skin to sunlight, especially
during this time of the day, the more vitamin D your body will produce.”
Jeongguk starts after another 5 minutes of being silent, squinting up to the
baby blue sky. “And it’s good for—”
“What the hell are you trying to say actually?” Taehyung does look up this
time, frowning from over the pages on his lap. Jeongguk clicks his tongue.
“The point is, you should come and chill here. On the grass, in open air, under
the sunlight,” he emphasizes, flailing his arms wide to indicate their
surrounding when the truth is, he simply wants Taehyung to sit next to him, pay
attention on him instead on some stupid sketchbook. Yeah, Jeon Jeongguk is
immature to that extent.
But he’s unsuccessful, because Taehyung only responds by shaking his head and
resuming drawing, missing the way Jeongguk pouts. Still, he’s not one to back
down so he rolls across the grass, not caring of how the bits of dirt have
stuck themselves all over his uniform shirt, until he stops in front of
Taehyung. Jeongguk stands his chin upon his palms that are also supporting his
face while he peers up at Taehyung.
“What are you doing there anyway?”
No answer, only the drags of Taehyung’s pencil across the page replies him.
Jeongguk huffs and reaches up, firmly trying to grab the book away from
Taehyung.
“Shut up!” The senior snaps, firing a glare (a cute one at that) down to him.
“I’m sketching here.”
“Yeah, I know that. But what are you sketching?”
“Let it—hey!”
Taehyung is caught off guard when Jeongguk pushes himself to sit up and uses
his new found stability to snatch the book before Taehyung even manages to
prevent him. He brings the page up to his face, examining the figure only to
realize he’s staring at his own drawing, one that was lying on the ground
before.
“You’re sketching me?”
Jeongguk chuckles and Taehyung doesn’t answer, just folding his arms across his
chest sulkily which Jeongguk resists himself from cooing. He continues to flip
the other collection of drawings in there, mostly objects and sceneries, until
he reaches the last page and furrows. A portrait of a man—eyes, nose, lips,
cheekbones and hair—all are present but faintly there.
“Who is this man?”
Only when Jeongguk steals a look up at Taehyung that the senior responds, voice
somehow complicated. “It’s…it’s my dad.”
“It’s kinda incomplete though.”
“Yeah, I don’t really remember how he looked like anymore,” Jeongguk fully
stares at him now, taking note how Taehyung avoids his eyes. “I haven’t seen
him since I was 14…”
This, Jeongguk has no opinion about. Just last Saturday he learned how Taehyung
has no real home, just a small room behind the club that never quite belongs to
him. Today, he learns a bit more of how Taehyung’s been growing up without a
parent, void of a father who might has been lost for so long he could no longer
remember every tiny detail of his own face.
Jeongguk looks away, losing grip of what to do with it, with this information
he involuntarily gathered from Taehyung. Taehyung’s just a hooker, a hooker
working part time in a club. Yet he has a story to his side too. A story that’s
so different from Jeongguk’s, which makes him wonder what it’s like to grow up
without parents, to live without home and to survive by selling piece by piece
of yourself to strangers.
It’s unthinkable, even to Jeongguk who hates his father because while Dr. Jeon
has his own fault, Jeongguk never had to worry about losing his parents, living
out of the luxurious apartment he has or working to gain money in his life. His
parents are always there, and Dr. Jeon pays everything for him while Mrs. Jeon
gives him all the love in the world. In a way, he’s luckier than Taehyung.
And his chest tightens upon the realization, guiltiness engulfing his beating
heart all over again.
What can he do when the money Taehyung desperately needs is gained from his
father?   
“Why don’t you ask?” Only then he’s pulled out of his train of thoughts,
blinking at Taehyung.
“Huh?”
“Don’t you wanna know anything further about him?” Taehyung slides his body
down the bench to settle next to Jeongguk, face unchanging. “Whether he’s dead
or alive? Don’t you feel curious about me?”
It must be his face that tells Taehyung. He knows how Jeongguk’s been thinking
out loud in his head but never makes anything out as words. Jeongguk reminds
himself to control his expression, not wanting to give away too much to
Taehyung.
“If I ask you about yourself, I bet you gonna expect me to do the same to you.
To tell you something about myself as well,” Jeongguk tightens his jaw. “…and I
don’t want to do that.”
“But normal people get curious, they’ll ask.”
“I am not normal people so…” Jeongguk picks at the blades of grass around them,
looking anywhere but Taehyung.
“Neither do I. And yet I’m still curious about you,” Jeongguk stops, something
in Taehyung’s voice makes him turn to the senior. “So curious in fact that I’m
afraid if I find out everything about you, you might be the person I expect you
to be…”
Jeongguk cocks an eyebrow. “What person is that?”
“Callous and aloof on the exterior, ‘I don’t give a shit’ is your number one
façade. But deep in the interior, you’re just as miserable as other people. You
only prefer to push those miseries on others so you don’t have to deal with one
thing you hate to deal with the most. Your feelings.” Taehyung pauses and
Jeongguk’s eyes are glued on him, quiet but actually speaking.
“And this scared me, because if you are what I think you’re, then you’ll not
hesitate to disregard people’s feelings. Including mine.” Jeongguk feels
himself frowning, never deems Taehyung to care about what Jeongguk think about
his feelings.
But maybe it’s just Taehyung’s trained artist eyes that could read through him.
Though Jeongguk can’t quite admit whether he’s comfortable with that fact or
not.
“But do you know what scares me more?” Taehyung asks suddenly.
“What?”
“It’s the fact that if I didn’t get to know you, I might loseyou just like
that. That scares me even more.”
The admission renders Jeongguk speechless. He sees the honesty in Taehyung’s
eyes. Yet he doesn’t sure if he should believe in it or not. A lot about
Taehyung is making him uncertain lately. He stares some more without answering,
and there’s an emotion that Jeongguk couldn’t read flashes by in Taehyung’s
eyes. As fast as it comes, it’s gone the next moment Jeongguk blinks.
“Yah, what shit are you spluttering about huh? I’m here, right?” He at last
says, rolling his eyes nonchalantly even when his heart is saying otherwise.
“So that’s all that matters.”
And Jeongguk pushes his body closer to Taehyung, taking advantage of his
position to rest his head in the cradle of his lap and closing his eyes.
“What now?”
“I need to sleep. Now that you’re here too, let me sleep.”
“But…why?”
Jeongguk doesn’t have any reason. He simply wants to put his feelings aside and
enjoys what’s in present. Just like the Jeon Jeongguk Taehyung’s afraid to
know.
“Because it’s been days I can’t sleep. I kept thinking about you so it’s your
fault I’m sleep deprived so just stay still and let me sleep.”
This part is true though. Jeongguk realizes his insomnia is getting worse. He
hardly gets any blink of sleep in the night, not knowing what exactly is
disturbing him in the mind. Yet with wind blows so gently around them and
Taehyung is close to him, Jeongguk decides maybe sleeping isn’t that difficult
to do. He’s on the verge of truly slipping into his dreamland when he feels
something drape over his body, fabric so close like the school blazer, before
there are fingertips running across his face.
Jeongguk tries hard not to squirm or make Taehyung notice he’s still awake. He
follows the feeling of Taehyung’s light touches, traveling along the edge of
his jaw, up to his nose bridge, tracing over his eyebrows and lastly a tender
sweep over his lips. Jeongguk could only contain it so long until he blinks his
eyes open and Taehyung is there.
There, a breath away from his face, bent down over him. The tip of their noses
almost touch, their eyes locked together. He expects Taehyung to back away but
he doesn’t. He stays.
So close. So beautiful.
“If you keep on staring at me like that, I’m gonna have to do something to
you.” Jeongguk whispers like a secret.
Taehyung pinches his cheek, fond. “When do you not do something to me? Haven’t
you been pestering my life since you appeared in it?”
Jeongguk couldn’t stop himself. Because when Taehyung curves a thin smile,
Jeongguk wants so much to kiss that smile.
The plan is to tilt his head up, just a bit to reach his lips. But his plan is
ruined the moment Taehyung beats him to it, lowering his face instead and next,
their lips are pressed against each other’s. Jeongguk helplessly feels it in
him to like a bit more of Kim Taehyung, the ruiner of his life.
 
===============================================================================
 
“You got all you need there?”
Yoongi watches from the counter, registering the current customer to his tattoo
session even when his eyes are on Taehyung’s bouncy manner.
“Yeah,” Taehyung grins, holding up the item one by one. “The pills, nail
polishes and candies!”
“You’re in a good mood today. Any particular reason?”
Taehyung stops shoving those stuffs into his bag for a sec, blinking before he
shrugs and smiles.
“Nothing. I simply missed my siblings and today I finally going to see them,
I’m excited!”
He misses the way Yoongi’s lips turn upward a little. “That’s good then.”
Talk about how a particular good day shouldn’t get jinxed by mentioning it,
Taehyung’s ready to take off to the orphanage when his phone pings. He stops by
the entrance of Yoongi’s tattoo parlor to read the text he received.
 
From: Unknown
Oppa, help!
I slept in a hotel room & now I don’t hve money to pay
lmao
 
“What?”
                                                                               
                                                                    To: Unknown
                                                                Is this Taerie?
                                                         Who’s phone r u using?
                                                                 Where r u now?
 
A second later the reply comes from the same unknown number and Taehyung
hisses, pocketing his phone back.
“This bastard…”
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s Taerie, hyung. She’s causing trouble again.” Yoongi stands up to stretch,
still behind the counter.
“Well what is it now?”
But Taehyung’s no longer looked just distracted from the text, he seems worried
now.
“I’ll talk to you later hyung. I’m gonna rescue her for now.”
“Rescue? What do you—yah!”
Yoongi doesn’t make it to stop him. He’s dashing like a wind out of the shop.
 
===============================================================================
 
Yoongi wants to contact Taehyung, making sure that he’s alright handling his
sister alone. But then he gets distracted with a few of his regular customers,
coming to get their tattoos touchup or entirely new ones. He walks to the back
of the parlor, wanting to have a soft drink after chitchatting with them when a
sudden commotion is heard from the front part of his garage and Yoongi hurries
back.
“I’m not here for tattoo, you shitface! Let me through!” A girl is struggling
to sidestep one of his tattoo artists, irritation clear on his face.
“Taerie?”
Both of them glance at him and when the artist realizes Yoongi recognizes her,
he shrugs and leaves Taerie to grumble all the way she follows Yoongi to the
backside of the shop.
“Can’t you just fire that shitface already? He’s annoying!”
Taerie slams her body down onto one of the plastic chairs while Yoongi turns to
examine her up and down, curious.
“Did my brother come to see you this week?” She arches an eyebrow and when
Yoongi doesn’t answer, she snorts. “He didn’t, did he? I should’ve known it he
enjoys living out there so much that he’ll forget about everything and
everyone! Just like how he forgot his promise to visit me and Puppy and I’m—”
“Hold up, Taerie. Tae was here just now, preparing to meet you.” That’s what
he’s curious about. Taehyung just left to meet her so why is she here alone?
Taerie rolls her eyes hard, playing with her nails. “Well you don’t have to lie
to make me feel better, oppa.”
“I’m not a fan of making shit up. I swear he was here before he rushed out
after receiving your text. Said he needed to rescue you or something.”
Taerie makes a face as if Yoongi has lost his mind now.
“What? You’re the one talking shit now, oppa. First, I don’t even have a phone
so where the hell did that text come from? Two, I’m safe and sound here so why
should he rescue me? Are you insane or is he insane?”
Yoongi quiets at that, revising back to what Taehyung told him, the tightness
in Taehyung’s face and Taerie’s appearance here before he reaches for his phone
to ring the boy. There’s no answer. Yoongi grows wary now and Taerie notices
it, getting up to walk over to him.
“Wait, oppa. What’s going on?”
Yoongi lets her question be ignored, more concern upon getting through to
Taehyung as he calls the second person he knows the closest to Taehyung.
“Hello, Jimin?”
“Speaking!”
The other boy sounds merry over the line and Yoongi takes comfort hearing it to
relax his fast thumping heart.
“Jiminie, can you try to contact Tae? I think he’s missing.” Taerie snaps
looking at him with wide eyes.
“Missing? What do you mean, hyung? I thought he’s going to the orphanage
today.”
“Yes, that was the plan. But he came to my place before that and just
disappeared after receiving a text. I feel something wrong about it.”
“What text?”
 
===============================================================================
 
“Where’s Jeon Jeongguk?!”
Jeongguk just finished his fourth round of choreograph practice when Jimin
bursts through the dance studio and shouts his name. Jeongguk pauses midway in
toweling his sweat, frowning over at Jimin until the boy spots him and marches
over.
“Jiminie? What are you—”
Hoseok tries to ask but get sidestep as Jimin arranges frantic steps to him and
Jeongguk rolls his eyes.
“What now, Park?”
“Yah, Jeon! Please tell me Taehyung is here.”
“Well look around, clumsy clown. Does anyone here look anywhere near as lovely
as Tae?”
Jimin hisses out loud when the response he receives is so unbothered from
Jeongguk.
“I’m serious, Jeon! He’s missing!”
Only at the groan Jeongguk truly looks at him in the eyes.
“The fuck, say that again?”
“Hish! I don’t have time, I gotta look for him.” Jimin’s about to turn away yet
Jeongguk grabs his elbow.
“Wow, slow down there. You can’t just tell me he’s missing, then fuck off. Tell
me what happened at least?”
Maybe it’s the way his tone is almost begging, or the way desperation starts to
show on his face, but Jimin sighs heavily before he begins to tell Jeongguk
everything; from Taehyung’s plan to visit the orphanage, to the mysterious text
he received and to his current unknown whereabouts now. He didn’t even pick up
his phone no matter how many times Jimin tried to call him.
“That’s what happened and I don’t know where to find him now!”
Jeongguk shakes his head, racking his brain fast to think of possible places
Taehyung could have gone to. He couldn’t be missing. He cannot be missing. It’s
Taehyung. And he couldn’t lose his Taehyung. Jeongguk turns to Jimin.
“Calm down, Park. You’re his best friend, surely you can narrow down to a few
places that Tae loves to go.”
Jimin bites his lips. “There are only a few but someone used Taerie to bait him
out. He can’t possibly be anywhere around he used to go!”
Jeongguk sighs, worry starts to creep all over him and he signals Hoseok to
come over before Jimin could ask what it’s for.
“Hyung, can you help us? Find Taehyung?” Hoseok blinks momentarily, doesn’t
know what’s going on but he simply nods upon the frowns on Jeongguk’s face and
Jimin’s anxious look.
“Yeah, sure. Just give me his number, I can keep calling while I’m searching.”
Then they set off to different parts of the town, hoping to find Taehyung
somewhere.
 
===============================================================================
 
“Taerie, what the fuck do you think you’re doing—”
Taehyung loses his words as soon as he steps into the hotel room, couldn’t
believe on how his sister can get into such a huge and expensive suite room and
how he’s so close to be doomed since from her text, it’s Taehyung who needs to
pay for this place.
“Taerie-ah?” He enters the room further, eyeing around for her and feeling
somehow odd that the spacious room seems almost empty until someone appears
through the bedroom door and Taehyung flinches.
“Finally, I get to see you alone.”
Taehyung opens his mouth, couldn’t believe what he’s seeing. “Mr. Kang?”
The older curves a demonic smile, moving away from the door to get closer to
Taehyung, which the boy instinctively reverses backward.
“I apologize we have to meet this way, Taehyung-ah. It’s so hard to get you
alone nowadays. What with that boyfriend of yours controlling everything in
your life.”
“How did you know about my sister? Where’s she? You better don’t touch her.
Taerie!” Taehyung starts to call out and search furiously for her but Mr. Kang
chuckles, sipping in serene upon his wine glass.
“Calm down, baby. She’s not here.” Taehyung stops with his back on him.
“I’m just using her so you would come to me.” Taehyung feels his heart picking
up, blood rushing to his head. “Judging from how fast you showed up, you must
really love beautiful little sister huh?”
“You fucking pyscho!” Taehyung lashes out, turning around to shoot daggers
through his eyes with fists clenched tight by his sides. “Don’t you dare get my
sister involved in this. If you pulled this shit one more time, I’m not gonna
forgive you!”
Taehyung knows there’s no point barking at a sick mental who won’t even
understand. He breathes harshly and corner his way to exit the room but—
Hands come around to cage him from behind, pulling Taehyung flushed to Mr.
Kang’s chest and suffocating him with his tight embrace. His breath is hot when
he’s whispering into Taehyung’s ear. “Where do you think you’re going huh? You
just got here, how about have some fun first?”
“Get off me, you sick bastard!”
Taehyung elbows him on the stomach, causing the man to cough and loosen his
grip on him. Taehyung takes the chance to flee away but Mr. Kang laughs out
loud, so suddenly it slows Taehyung’s steps to a stop.
“You know, I was thinking it won’t be a total waste if I couldn’t get you.” He
flashes a menacing grin, raising the tiny hair on Taehyung’s nape. “I saw your
sister with my own eyes.”
Taehyung can feel the temperature in the room drops to a dangerous level. Mr.
Kang doesn’t notice it, he steps closer to Taehyung instead.
“She is…truthfully, very pretty like you.” He licks his lips, eyes stay on
Taehyung as if he’s picturing Taerie in those filthy eyes.
“Though she’s a girl, and I’m not really into pussy but…she’ll at least look
the same as you when she gets under me.” Taehyung snaps, something in his brain
tightens his hands into fists.
“There’s a price to everything, Taehyung.” Mr. Kang still goes on, provoking
him through devilish smile. “And mine, is preserving your sister’s safety with
you. If you don’t want me touch her, then stay.”
Taehyung takes a deep breath, turning very slowly to face him. He hates this
man. Words can never be enough to describe on how deep he hates him. Taehyung’s
going to finish him now.
“I’m so fucking done with you. You gonna make me die for me to fucking stay.”
And then he launches to him, forgetting the fact that Mr. Kang was his regular,
forgetting the fact that he’s his instructor, forgetting the fact that he can
end Taehyung entirely if he wants to.
Because in that moment, Taehyung just wants him to be destroyed.
 
===============================================================================
 
“Pick up the damn phone, Kim Taehyung.” Jeongguk murmurs into the receiver,
waiting with bated breath for the beeps to be answered as his eyes continuously
scan along the lines upon lines of shops, hoping to see Taehyung emerge out
from one of them.
He’s been searching all around Gangnam, thinking of all possible places the
senior could’ve been to. Since the text Taehyung received involving his sister,
the sister who Jeongguk just found out Taehyung had, he must have been gone to
someone who that girl might have known right? He contemplates the idea of
calling Jimin to ask about it when he passes in front of a hotel building.
Jeongguk stares at it. The line goes off and Jeongguk redials again, frowning
upon the huge board of the hotel’s name when he recalls the room reservation
made by Mr. Kang. It’s on Saturday, around 2 pm.
“It can’t be right?” He mumbles to himself, entertaining the idea that it could
even be related to the old man when the line gets through and Jeongguk gasps.
“Hello, Tae—”
“Look who’s calling, it’s Mr. Boyfriend.”
For a moment, Jeongguk doesn’t quite recognize the man’s voice on the line. But
then, his eyes widen. He’s right after all. Nobody wants to ruin Kim Taehyung
more than Mr. Kang. He swallows painfully.
“What the fuck are you—”
“Listen here, Jeon. I know you two are just faking everything. But that’s okay,
pretty Taehyung is mine now.”
“You piece of shit, don’t you dare—”
Jeongguk couldn’t finish, freezes on his tongue once he hears Taehyung’s groan
over the line, someone’s shouting, then the line abruptly cuts off.
“Tae? Taehyung!”
Jeongguk waits no more, fisting the phone so hard in his hand it could break
before he sprints to Oakwood Hotel, grateful that he remembers the name of that
place. He shoots through the gigantic entrance as soon as he arrives, aiming
only to get to the receptionist to demand for Mr. Kang’s room number, when he
collides into someone and almost falls back down if it isn’t for the person in
front of him already has vine-like grip around his waist. Jeongguk hisses down,
ready to push that person away once he notices it’s Taehyung.
Taehyung, with sweat all over his face, a bleeding cut on his lips and panting
breath.
“You—”
“Not here.” Taehyung hushes, glancing over his shoulders as if afraid someone’s
after him before he pushes Jeongguk backward. Jeongguk gets the message,
pulling Taehyung to him before they run away from the hotel.
 
===============================================================================
 
They only stop running once they deem the distance is far enough from the
hotel. Jeongguk drags Taehyung to a small park nearby, filled only by a few
kids playing around. And when he lets go of Taehyung’s hand, both of them
remain panting, eyes aware in case Mr. Kang gets to catch up with them.
“Why…why were you there? How did you know I was there?” Taehyung asks despite
his struggle to catch his breath. Jeongguk waits a minute before he answers.
“Jimin came to find me, said you were missing. We searched everywhere for you,
he’s dead worried about you.”
As soon as he hears that, Taehyung takes out his phone and Jeongguk frowns
seeing the cracked screen, as if it’s been through a tough fall or smashed hard
by someone. He watches as Taehyung text Jimin to inform he’s alright and is
with him right now before he clicks his tongue. Jeongguk steps closer to him,
furious and worried.
“Why would you danger yourself like that? Why would you—”
“I thought it was my sister! I needed to save her, she got in troubles a lot!”
Taehyung reasons louder than his outburst, catching himself when the kids
around blink at them before they scatter running away. Taehyung sighs, “I never
thought that bastard could go this far.”
Jeongguk forces his heart to calm down.
“Well I’m just glad you escaped.” His eyes drop to the cut by a corner of
Taehyung’s lips, the blood drying there. “Are you okay?”
Taehyung looks up to him, noticing where Jeongguk’s staring on and licks his
lips.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” His face softens a bit.
“Still, you shouldn’t have believed—”
Both of their phones ping with notifications. Jeongguk doesn’t bother to check
as he’s more concern on how to get the blood cleaned from Taehyung’s skin. But
Taehyung does, opening his chat in between them and finds out it’s a
conversation from a newly created group.
 
Group: Gay Asses
Unknown added you
Unknown added Jiminie
Unknown added Jeon Jeongguk
Jiminie: wtf with this group?
Unknown: So that it’s easier to contact if anyone happens to get lost again
Jiminie: urgh I hope nobody ever get lost again u scared me shitless taetae!!!
Unknown: he’s fine. he texted u right??
Jiminie: im not convinced. r u hurt anywhere taetae?? taetae???
Unknown: calm down, freak nanny. hw bout we meet at the mcd nearby?
Jiminie: what mcd i need to make sure my taetae is ok!!!
Unknown: aww come on! i’ll pay fr ur big mac? plez?
 
Jeongguk rolls his eyes because emoticons and excessive group chat is totally
something that’s started by Jung Hoseok. “That’s Hoseok hyung. He never gonna
give up on scoring a date with Jimin.” He comments offhandedly without
realizing how Taehyung furrows hearing it.
“What?”
Then he notices what he just said and Jeongguk gulps.
“Let’s pretend I never said that.”
“But I heard what you said so what do you mean with Hoseok hyung and Jimin?”
“I don’t know, how about worry about yourself first?”
“I told you I’m fine,” Taehyung grumbles, looking back down at the chat but
doesn’t move to reply anything. “He named this chat as if everyone’s gay.”
It was supposed to be a lighthearted joke but then Taehyung blinks hesitantly
and peers up at Jeongguk.
“Are you…gay?” He asks, careful. Jeongguk snorts.
“I French-kissed you and sucked your dick, how straight can that be?”
Taehyung instantly reddens on the cheeks. He keeps his phone away and takes a
seat on a swing, probably regretting his own question but Jeongguk’s never one
to hide his sexuality. He’s known he likes boys since he was 16, which wasn’t
long, just a year ago. But they have more to worry than just for a stupid,
embarrassing question. Walking over to him, Jeongguk crouches before Taehyung
and peers straight to his face. Taehyung looks reluctant and small even though
he’s older than Jeongguk. With two hands clutching the chains by his sides, big
eyes looking down at Jeongguk, he doesn’t want anybody to ever hurt this guy
again.
“Can you quit your job as a hooker?”
Taehyung stills on the swing, eyeing Jeongguk as if he’s heard him wrong.
“Why?”
Jeongguk realizes, the answer that comes is a kind of finality in his heart.
“Because that’s the only way I can protect you from Mr. Kang…” and from
everyone, including my own father.
Chapter End Notes
     Can you actually believe I finally update this?! It's after 2 months
     & it's 2017!! I'm the worst!!!
     Anyways, this is more of a filler chap than anything big. Though I
     know how Mr. Kang is a douchebag. But I promise we'll proceed to
     bigger major plot in the next chap so stay tuned! And oh, I love
     comments, kudos, and any form of subscriptions. So leave me some,
     lovelies!
***** More than Liking Him *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
 Perfectly suave is what Taehyung can see from his customer tonight.
As he picks up his cherry red lip gloss, uncapping and smoothing the stick
across his lips, his purposefully intensified eyes stare through the mirror to
where the man is standing near the door of his small room. A white button down
that’s casually rolled at the sleeves matches with a sleek black tie and a
Ralph Lauren watch dangled around his wrist already tells Taehyung this is one
of those arrogant men so far up their own ass to the point that they think no
one is better than them. A certified bastard is what Taehyung labeled them. He
smiles to himself, pretending to miss the arched eyebrow he receives from the
other. They’re so easy to read, his customers. Spending almost two years in
this line of work has trained Taehyung to be an expert in guessing the
personality of his customers just from their appearance and body language.
This one here can be a business man, a chaebol or anything that ranges from I-
own-a-big-market-of-something to throw-my-money-away-to-a-random-hooker-just-
because-it’s-fun-to-fuck-on-Friday-night. Typical, Taehyung agrees. He turns
around and leans against the dressing table to finally face the man who’s been
undressing him through his reflection. His expression is calm even as he drags
his gaze from the choker around Taehyung’s neck, down to his satin black shirt
with V-shape collar and settles lastly a bit longer on his exposed chest and
collarbones. Taehyung chuckles, way too accustomed and familiar of this flirty
push-and-pull in this line of business.
Somewhere at the back of his mind, Taehyung swallows the bitter melancholy of
how he’s been doing this far too long to the point his entire being is
sickeningly used to it.
He refuses to think of it. Yet the echo of someone’s voice rings in his head,
settling like an ugly, nagging burden on his shoulders since the day he heard
it.
“Can you quit your job as a hooker?”
Quit.
That’s never an option for Taehyung. The life he’s spent in this club almost
reaches a solid two year right now. Not just this place provides him with the
amount of money he so much needs, it also has saved him on multiple levels such
as allowing Taehyung to stay in this small room at the back of the club without
any payment. As long as he’s being a committed employee and brings endless
profit to the house, he’s good to remain here. And Taehyung is one of their
valuable gems. Even as he started as a mere bartender boy back when he was 18
and homeless, the Big Lord—one that Taehyung never meets but knows he exists
like a huge shadow behind this underground business—already set eyes on him and
saw a pile of potentials in his pretty face to boost the club’s popularity.
With one of his right men being the bridge between them, he offered Taehyung to
be more, to learn the art of dancing and singing until he shone so bright on
the stage most of the customers came just to get a glimpse on V. And that’s how
it all begun.
Taehyung didn’t just need some money to go on with his life. He needed money to
survive with his siblings and grandma, and not to mention to find his long lost
father which he hoped with the barest faith to still be alive, so he confronted
the devil and drowned straight into the deal; Taehyung can have all the
wealthy, walking money of VIP customers to grind as much as he needed from
them, the club won’t touch his share, but in return he was binded to the club,
expanding their business through his endless customers.
So can you quit your job as a hooker?
No, the answer is he can’t. Not when he still has so much to risk on the line.
That is until, Jeon Jeongguk.
The boy who asked him that question, the boy who makes him second-guess all the
important choices he’s made in his life.
Damn him.
While he’s so used to think ‘I don’t need your opinion, I do what I want’ to
anyone’s disapproval of his life style, Taehyung couldn’t think the same about
Jeongguk. Strangely, he wants Jeongguk’s approval. His opinion and acceptance
matter to Taehyung.
Taehyung is fine having people come and go from his life. That’s why if they
wanted to go, he wouldn’t beg them to stay. Begging isn’t going to change their
decision after all, especially since it was what happened to his mother.
But Jeongguk…
That 17 years old boy is something else.
When Jeongguk poised him with such question that weighed so much pure concern
in his face, Taehyung can’t help but feel something subtle from somewhere deep
in him that is scared of someone to walk away from his life.
It is subtle, but clear at the same time. It is a simple desire, yet a
complicated feeling as well.
Because all that Taehyung feels right in the middle of being undressed by his
customer is the unbearable thought of losing Jeongguk.
He does not want to lose him, even after Jeongguk’s witnessed most of the ugly
truths about him, even after Jeongguk’s known he’s not your ordinary 19 year-
old-boy.
He wants, so badly, for Jeongguk to stay with him.
But what are his chances? Is there even any?
“No kissing,” Taehyung stops the man with a palm against his chest when he
leans down for Taehyung’s lips. The latter frowns.
“What—”
“It’s my rules,” he states with a tone firmer than he should be using on any of
his customers. “No BDSM or other weird stuff. Roleplay is allowed as long as
it’s not over the edge. And no kissing.”
There’s no such thing before.
The club has never limits the escorts and their customers in term of sexual
creativity. It’s mostly up to them and customers’ pleasure is top priority but
Taehyung still draws a line just for himself. The first three rules are
applicable since the beginning. Kissing, however, is a thing he can’t quite do
right since he knows Jeongguk. Somehow, each time he tries to attach his mouth
on anyone in the club, he can’t stop his stupid mind from associating the
feeling to Jeongguk’s taste on his own. The softness of his lips, the sweetness
of his tongue and the amount of passion behind their kisses seizing Taehyung
straight on his heart, causes Taehyung to become an addict only to him.
Kissing shouldn’t bring so much feeling.
It’s just a contact between two pairs of lips, but with Jeongguk, everything is
unsettling.
Taehyung wants more. More of Jeongguk’s lips, more of Jeongguk’s kisses, more
of Jeongguk.
“What’s your name?” The man looks up to him from where he’s buttoning up his
shirt, offering Taehyung to go for second round with extra payment but Taehyung
denied him. Another thing he starts doing after having a certain Jeongguk
clings in his head.
“V,”
“No, your real name. You know that’s not what I mean,” the customer shuffles
restlessly on his feet from Taehyung’s indifferent attitude, face close to
annoyance when he doesn’t get the attention he demands from the hooker.
Taehyung gets where this is going. He wants his real name so he can be more
with Taehyung, digging further about him and stepping over the line of mere
business. Taehyung is having none of this. Mr. Kang is a lesson learned, after
all.
So with a raise of an eyebrow, Taehyung gets out of the bed and walks over to
stand before the customer. His sharp eyes fix on him as he pushes him backward
until he’s out of his door. Taehyung then smiles; big enough to show his
politeness, small enough to hint him this is farewell to forever. “Thank you
for your payment. Have a great night, sir.”
And next, he shuts the door upon the man’s face.
Taehyung tries to sleep. But after tossing and turning to figure out the
comfortable position, not even a wink of dream comes to him. Frustrated to his
restless mind, he kicks the blanket out of the way and proceeds to venture to
the front part of the club.
It’s almost 6 in the morning, which means he will find no more than the
cleaners tidying the bar and dance floor before they prepare to close for the
day. What he doesn’t expect is to see Jimin behind the counter, still in his
white uniform and black apron as he alternates between rearranging the
champagne flutes and reading what Taehyung deems must be the notes of their
Ancient Art class from his smartphone. He doesn’t hide the fond smile from
taking place on his face. This is one of the things about Jimin that Taehyung
couldn’t quite comprehend. He balances study and work without any frowns over
his head, Taehyung is envious of his best friend for that.
“Jiminie.”
The said boy glances over the screen, lips curving up into one of those smiles
that crinkle his eyes. “Oh, hey! Taetae, I thought you were sleeping?”
“And I thought you should be home by now. It’s 6 and it’s Sunday. Are you
rejecting the idea of sleeping off the day now?”
“Of course not,” a smirk is thrown to him as Taehyung sits on the stool. “I’ll
be back as soon as I get all of this cleaned. They had quite a grand party last
night, remember? Around the VIP section?”
Taehyung briefly recalls how he swept the customer just now off his money,
expression remains bland. “Yeah, I’m not quite sure what else happened. I left
early with one of the participants.”
“Oh…but it’s not Friday night?” His best friend pauses from running the
washcloth under the tap to frown at him. 
“He promised to pay a lot, Jiminie,” Taehyung’s voice is quiet, almost tired.
“Yeah, sure.”
And Jimin resumes what he’s doing without posing anymore unwanted questions,
face concern but not judgmental—another part of Jimin that Taehyung is grateful
for. Thinking he should be productive instead of slouching on the stool,
Taehyung gets up and walks behind the bar. 
“Here, let me help you.”
“Is this what you do whenever you can’t sleep? Sneaking around the bar for
extra distraction?”
Taehyung simply shrugs to Jimin’s amused smile, hands reaching for the shakers
and a few other utensils they often use to prepare the drinks. The first five
minute, they’re working just fine. Yet when Jimin notices Taehyung keeps on
alternating between wiping a glass dry and sighing repeatedly, he lets out his
own sigh.
“Well, sit down.” He orders as he plucks the glass away from Taehyung to which
the boy flinches a bit from the sharp movement.
“But I—”
“Don’t bother, just sit. I’ll make you tea.”
“Do we even have tea in here?” Taehyung asks while returning back to his seat
earlier, not even bothers to argue with Jimin that he’s fine like he usually
does because now, he really is exhausted, and has a lot on his mind.
“You might never know it but some assholes love having their Rum and Coke with
tea,” Jimin informs with a big nod to Taehyung’s disgusted face at thinking of
the said beverage. “Yeah, don’t even mention ‘bout the taste. Elephant’s pee
must be better than that.”
“Elephant’s pee? Sounds like you have much experience, dude.”
“It’s your tea I’m stirring now.” Jimin warns only to earn a chuckle from
Taehyung.
He waits until the drink’s finished and he already joins the taller side by
side on the stools to speak again, “come on, get it out.”
“What?” Taehyung pretends to stay fool, sipping on his tea noisily which causes
Jimin to roll his eyes. “Whatever is that in your head.”
He releases another heavy and loud sigh, twisting the cup in his palms and just
enjoying the warmth it brings while he figures out the right way to voice his
thoughts out to Jimin.
“I was just wondering…what it would feel like to live outside of the club.”
It’s silent for a moment—Taehyung waiting for Jimin to give him a response and
Jimin trying to make sense of that statement. Once it does sink in, Jimin
immediately straightens up his body, expression guarded.
“Tae, is this something about—”
“No, this isn’t about Mr. Kang or any of the customers. What happened with him
was an incident but I’m okay, I promise.” Taehyung quickly reassures him of the
unexpected event happened the day he was supposed to visit his siblings at the
orphanage. He doesn’t want to think of the consequences from his action after
that day. He left the older man with bruises and wounds more than just on his
face. Taehyung can tell for a man as nasty as Mr. Kang, he won’t simply leave
it that way. But if he must risk a fight to protect his siblings from now on,
then so be it. Mr. Kang can even drag him down to the deepest pit of the hell
and back down will still be the last thing he does.
Jimin sags in relief next to him.
“I’m glad you escaped. You didn’t know how bad I freaked out, Taetae. I was
this close to kill that jackass when you told me everything.”
Taehyung grins and shoves the latter playfully. “Yah, save the drama. I’ve had
enough for now.”
“But I’m hardly the only one,” reasons his best friend. “I can’t say I’m really
fond with the idea of you getting comfy with that Jeon but I’m relieved you
have him by your side. I know genuine concern when I see it.”
Taehyung’s heart softens and aches at the same time hearing that. The image of
how terrified Jeongguk had looked the moment they bumped into each other by the
hotel entrance flashes back before his eyes and he shudders, once again feeling
this strange longing in his chest. He’s happy Jeongguk was worried about him,
because it shows how much he cares. Yet he’s also scared to let him in; scared
that if he lets the boy get deeper into his heart, Jeongguk might make a home
in there.
“So tell me, what got you to suddenly wonder about leaving this place and
starting a new life out there?” Jimin’s question pulls his attention back.
Taehyung shakes his head.
“I don’t know, Jiminie. I mean, while I’m still young—have the energy and
all—it feels like making life out of this is possible, you know. But what
happens when Taerie and Puppy grow older? Even when I get to buy them a house
for us, I don’t think they’ll be comfortable having a brother who earns from
sleeping around with people. It can be a secret but for how long?”
His best friend’s staring hard at him, listening attentively as he pours his
worries out.
“I’m afraid for them, Jiminie. Especially after that bastard said he knew my
sister. I don’t ever want my siblings to involve in any of this. This might be
my world, but not theirs. I need to keep them safe,” Taehyung firmly states.
“And I…I don’t want to lose people I care about just because I’m here, I’m like
this.”
Jimin blinks in confusion. “What? You don’t want to lose people? Who you’ve got
to lose, Tae? Your siblings? It might take time for them to understand, they’re
still too young. But I’m sure they won’t abandon you after all that you’ve done
is for them. And me? Yoongi hyung? You have to give us more credit, Tae. We’re
your friends because we want to be. Not because of who you are. If that’s the
reason, then we won’t even start.”
“Yeah, I never doubt you and Yoongi hyung. I just…,” Taehyung smiles a weak
smile at him before his voice trails off, losing confidence in completing what
he wants to say.
“Then who is—” Jimin catches himself after quite a while he reads Taehyung’s
face and recognizes the distant sadness in him, a look he always have after
knowing someone in his life recently. “Jeon Jeongguk.”
Jimin utters like an absolute answer while Taehyung makes no effort to deny it.
“What’s so impossible about him? He’s just a junior from our school.”
“It must be simple for me if he’s just a junior from our school.”
Quietness settles between them, giving space for Taehyung to hide his face down
to his lap and Jimin to rack his brain hard over that admission. His eyes
finally widen, gawking straight at Taehyung.
“Oh my god, you like him.”
Another blunt statement.
“I know I shouldn’t,” Taehyung feels his throat drying, causing it hard for him
to swallow.
“And why is that?”
To admit the feeling to his own heart is one thing. To hear it out loud from
his own best friend is another. It just adds the rapid beats hammering in his
chest and the pure realization that Taehyung truly does like Jeongguk that
much.
“Jiminie, don’t you see the logic? I’m a hooker from a night club with god
knows whatever fuck of illegal deals going on. And he’s a happy, teenage boy
with rich parents stuffing his mouth full of golden forks or something—”
“Golden forks, how appropriate.”
“—It’s impossible. Weare impossible.” Taehyung ends with a dramatic sigh that
Jimin could only roll his eyes at.
“Well, boo. Dramatic metaphors aside, I don’t think that’s the correct logic.”
Taehyung throws him a what-do-you-mean look and Jimin turns his stool until
he’s directly facing his best friend, ready to lecture him.
“I think the logic you should see is that you’re just a 19 year-old-boy and
he’s just a 17 year-old-kid. You both are too young to take this seriously so
why the fuck can’t you like each other? Are we talking about forever? Do we
even have a life that long to hesitate about that? No. The only thing we have
is now.”
Taehyung stays quiet, wondering how Jimin has that ability to see things so
positively and simple. Jimin then continues,
“Your life is short, his life is short. So if liking and fucking and being with
each other are what make you happy, then go for it. What you’ve got to lose,
Tae? No one leaves if they want to stay. It’s just a matter of youto be brave
enough to take the chance or not,” he places a hand over Taehyung’s shoulder,
shaking him firmly. “You make it possible. Not your job, not even his family
status.”
Taehyung absorbs all that Jimin’s said. Never once since he entered the Art
School had he paid any special attention upon anybody even when Taehyung knew
he got the looks that can charm every girl and boy he wanted to. Apart from
having no interest in relationship, Taehyung decided he was too busy managing
every other aspects of his life to even realize someone actually managed to
make his heart thump the way Jeongguk did.
Jeongguk, however, is different.
He’s always different. Not just because of the weird combination of smoky hot
plus soft bunny face, but mainly because of his persistence. Jeongguk is
persistent in approaching, wanting him and Taehyung couldn’t let go of that
attraction.
He’s fucking attracted to Jeongguk. And it’s terrible.
But as Jimin said, they’re also just a couple of kids. They can put their
hearts on the line and let the future work out the rest. Where’s the harm in
trying, right?
Taehyung at last narrows his eyes at Jimin. “…since when are you this wise?”
His best friend gasps in disbelief at him. “For goddamn sake, I can’t even be
serious for a sec—now get away from my bar!”
Taehyung’s laughter echoes in the empty club while Jimin tries his best to make
Taehyung stumble out of the stool, falling backward. He easily dodges his push
due to Jimin’s smaller physique, laughing louder once Jimin growls at him.
“I’m kidding! Thanks, Jiminie. I love you a lot.”
“I’m considering a new friend,” the latter attacks him with one last jab before
he sulkily steps away from him. “But I love you too, in case you haven’t
realized it, dick.”
“Aww, more than you love someone who sounds like Jung Hobi?” Taehyung inserts
the witty question and Jimin’s attempt to enter the bar halts immediately.
Taehyung enjoys it way too much when his best friend spins frantically to yell
at him.
“What the—what does he have to do with this?!”
“Well, I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with how merry the Gay Asses
group chat is or how he nicknamed you ‘my Cute Little Fingers’?” He pulls out
his phone, pretending to scroll over the group chat consisted the four of
them—Jeongguk, Jimin, Hoseok and him—while Jimin covers his face in
embarrassment, remembering what kind of conversation he used to have with
Hoseok in there.
“Oh my god, so you read that? I thought I asked him to delete—”
“Don’t be shy, you guys are cute!” Jimin snaps at Taehyung’s way-too-cheerful
giggle.
“Shut up! Just worry about how you wanna tell Jeon you want to suck his dick!”
“Hmm, it’s a nice dick. Judging from the size. Is blowjob enough for a
demonstration of a sincere confession?”
“I.Don’t.Need.To.Know!”
===============================================================================
 
“Where do you off to? It’s Sunday morning,” Dr. Jeon throws that question from
over the pages of his newspapers just as Jeongguk dashes down the stairs with
his denim jacket and Canon bag ready in his hands for the adventure of his
weekend.
“Why? So hard to believe that I actually managed to get up early?” Jeongguk
questions back instead of answering as he heads for a tall cupboard piling with
his shoes inside, opening it and reaching out for his favorite Timberlands
despite having a bunch others in there.
Dr. Jeon arches up an unimpressed eyebrow. “Of course, especially knowing you
make it habit to sleep till noon during days like this.”
“Haha, enjoy the surprise then. I’m having a date with mom so please rot alone
in this house.” Jeongguk finds himself sincere in wishing his father so.
He doesn’t notice Dr. Jeon has put down his reading material for the sake of
walking over to him at the main door while he’s putting on his shoes.
“Wait, you two are going out today?” Jeongguk smiles smugly to his father’s
wary face.
“We both are two people full of interesting surprises huh? Information check:
you’re not invited,” he adds childishly. Dr. Jeon hisses.
“That’s not what I mean, Jeongguk. You—you can’t bring her out,” the slight
stutter in his father’s tone causes Jeongguk to actually sober a little,
frowning at Dr. Jeon suspiciously. His father never stutters.
“Why?” The old man looks conflicted and it bothers Jeongguk the most. “Does it
have something to do with her sickness? You tell me the exact reason why she
can’t go out. Then only I’ll reconsider our plan.”
Jeongguk prays hard it’s not about Mrs. Jeon’s disease. His mother has been
looking forward for this visit to the retirement house for weeks and canceling
this well-planned day out is the last thing Jeongguk would want to do to her.
Dr. Jeon is equally as stubborn as him if anything so he says instead, “you
tell me exactly where you both are going. I needto know.”
“Well it’s just to the retirement house she used to volunteer at. And in case
you haven’t realized it, mom hasn’t been going out to anywhere since she
discharged. She deserves this day out.” Jeongguk tries his best to reason and
defend her, refusing for his father to be such a buzz kill.
Dr. Jeon exhales heavily, avoiding Jeongguk’s hard stare. “I get that, but if
she’s volunteering again, I can’t allow that.”
“But why? There must be a concrete reason to that! Is it because of her health?
‘Cuz mom literally assured me her doctor said she’s okay this time. She’s fit
enough for physical activity. So why can’t you allow her to go out?”
“That’s because she…,” Jeongguk waits with bated breath for the reason to come
out only to be further annoyed once Dr. Jeon replies with “I don’t need to
explain the reason to you. All I know is that she can’t leave the house, she
needs to stay in here. Done. Go tell your mother that.”
His father turns around to dismiss him as simple as that but Jeongguk’s not
having any of it.
“Oh how about you tell your ass of what a control freak you are?”
Dr. Jeon turns back around to scowl at him.
“Jeongguk, I—”
“This is damn unfair, you know! It’s enough that you think you have complete
control over my life and now you even want to limit mom on things she wants to
do? Fuck that, dad! She has the right to do every single thing that will make
her happy and you will not be the one to stop her!”
Jeongguk yells to knock the sense into his father’s head, determined to stand
up for Mrs. Jeon’s happiness partly because he’s had enough of Dr. Jeon listing
the do’s and don’ts for them and partly also because he knows his mother
deserves this while she’s fit to do so. And when Dr. Jeon opens his mouth to
argue again, Jeongguk quickly cuts him off.
“You lost all your rights to tell her what to do especially after you allowed
yourself to sleep around with other sluts and cheat on her.”
Jeongguk can see how Dr. Jeon’s face flushes to bright red.
“How dare you—”
“Don’t touch my son.” The hand that’s about to make contact with Jeongguk’s
cheek hangs midair right when Mrs. Jeon’s cold, flat voice resonates through
the living room.
Dr. Jeon and Jeongguk shift their eyes over to where she’s standing and there’s
a sense of proudness and satisfaction in Jeongguk to see his ever soft-spoken
mother directing a completely icy, indifferent look to her husband all the way
she comes to stand next to Jeongguk.
“Don’t you dare touch my son,” she repeats when Dr. Jeon’s too shocked to even
lower down his hand.
“Hannie-ah…I—”
“All those nights I waited for you to come back home, waited for you to visit
my hospital room, I convinced myself you were just being the busy doctor all to
steer my head away from this possibility but now…,” Jeongguk frowns hard
listening to the heartbreaking voice of hers, understanding that it’s hard yet
it’s time for her to learn the truth. “Now that I’ve heard it from our son of
all people, I only hope you didn’t hurt me this long.”
With Dr. Jeon still speechless from getting exposed this way, Jeongguk lets his
mother tangle their hands together before they step out of the house and leave
the old man alone to deal with his regret and guilt.
===============================================================================
 
Taehyung isn’t sure what he’s expecting. But the ache and adoration blooming
instantly in his heart aren’t exactly the feelings he’s expected to flood his
chest once he catches sight of a little boy runs through the main gate of the
orphanage with the most blinding grin displayed on his face.
Taehyung isn’t surprised though. He’s always this helplessly whipped when it
comes to his younger brother.
“Taetae hyung!”
“Hey, Puppy!” Taehyung shrieks back, already opening his arms wide and lowering
his body down to scoop the little child up. Puppy breaks into the most
endearing giggle Taehyung misses so dearly when he starts to nuzzle into his
neck, giving both of his chubby cheeks noisy kisses. “How’s my most favorite
boy been doing?”
“I’m alright, hyungie. Taerie noona, too! We miss you soooo muchy!” The boy
tells him enthusiastically, waving small palms to where their sister looking so
bored with earphones stuck in her ears as she takes her time to reach Taehyung.
He laughs louder when Puppy squeezes his cheeks.
“Aww, hyungie missed you two soooo muchy too!” Taehyung coos, beckoning Taerie
to come faster. “Come, Taerie! Group hug!”
The only sister finally stops rolling her eyes before them, pulling her ear
buds off. She points at Puppy. “Correction, he’s alone in this. I don’t know
what he’s talking about, okay? And I don’t even know why I’m forced to follow
you both.”
“Aish, don’t be such a party pooper! I promise we gonna have so much fun today!
Aren’t we, Puppy-ah?” Taehyung chastises before he proceeds to bounce Puppy up
in the air which resulting to a very loud merrily cackling baby. Taerie can
only grunt.
“You mean meeting old people is fun? You seriously need a dictionary for that.”
“I mean meetingour grandma is fun. Plus, we get to paint mural, eat free food,
blast trot songs and get free scalp massage! Isn’t that exciting?! Neon pink
paint and kimchi! Yeay!!!” Both Taehyung and Puppy now are jumping and swirling
in circle like a couple of maniacs they are meanwhile Taerie looks totally
done. She gives her siblings the most disapproving look before she slowly
reverses back into the gate.
“Well send my regard to grandma then.”
“And…you get to paint your nails with brand new colors,” is what Taehyung hums
cheekily, fully expecting his sister to stop walking and turn back.
When her steps falter and Taerie glances over her shoulders, trying to be
subtle in showing her curiosity, Taehyung snorts and takes the chance to
surprise her by throwing a white paper bag with a small pink ribbon he brings
with him towards her. Taerie scrambles to catch it, peeking with a frown into
the bag before she gasps.
“Oh my God, isn’t this L’Oreal’s latest edition?!” Only once she’s shouted over
those shiny bottles that she quickly clears her throat and rearranges her face
to the standard bitchy look again. Taehyung chuckles with Puppy, taking the
kid’s hand into his and starting to walk ahead.
“It’s okay to feel excited. If you wanna thank me, you can follow us and your
gratitude will be accepted,” he hollers, winking down at Puppy as if it’s their
secret signal.
Five steps forward, he hears nothing. Eight steps forward, Taehyung and Puppy
grin together at Taerie’s hasty steps behind them.
They continue to walk with Puppy singing to all the rhythmic children songs he
told Taehyung he’s learned from his kindergarten while their oldest brother
cheers for him and Taerie keeps quiet by his other side.
Slowly, almost inaudible, she asks, “Are you…are you okay?”
“Hm? Me?” Taehyung blinks at her side profile when he barely can hear her.
“Yoongi oppa said you were lost last time.” Taerie tries to appear nonchalant
by hiding her face down to the road but her question warms his heart
nevertheless. Taehyung can’t help the soft smile as he stares at her.
“Ah, about that. I’m fine, no need to worry about me.”
Taerie looks up with wide eyes, frantically searching for words to deny him.
“I’m not worried about you! I just…if you got into trouble who will look after
Puppy?”
“Which means you’re just worrying about Puppy and me! You’re super cute,
Taerie-ah.”
Taehyung reaches out his hand to ruffle it through his sister’s long straight
hair, making a mess out of it until Taerie whines and pushes his hand away.
“You can shut up now!”
Taehyung laughs harder, insists to pull her flushed to his side until he can
nuzzle her temple despite Taerie’s light grumble.
Kim Taerie can be all frosty and sharp bites. Yet deep down, Taehyung knows she
will always be his kind-hearted sweetheart, caring in her own subtle way.
===============================================================================
 
Jeongguk never visits this retirement home before. Although his mother has been
volunteering here for years, way prior than the confirmation of her sickness,
Jeongguk never had the urge to come with her as he always preferred spending
his time in the dance studio. Since this visit comes from the lady’s request,
Jeongguk deems it quite a refreshing change from the serene atmosphere brings
by the landscape around here.
He’s made a right choice to carry his camera along. Jeongguk just couldn’t put
it down from how sceneric and aesthetic the buildings are. They are fully
wooden, constructed to build a gigantic square with a vast garden and a marbled
fountain as the center of it. The garden is filled with the residents chilling
with their respective caretakers be it on the benches or pushed around on their
wheelchairs. It’s pack with chatters but it doesn’t feel strange, it feels
homey in fact. Jeongguk is informed from Mrs. Jeon how the old folks here are
grouped according to their gender and health condition into a few 8-member
dorms.
Jeongguk’s facing the running fountain now, captivated by the Koi fishes in
front of him which he can’t stop snapping his camera at. They all make a
colorful combination in his photos and he loves it. He throws a brief glance at
where her mother is talking to a couple of caretakers, probably discussing
their main agenda today to paint the mural near their newly renovated
cafeteria. He can’t stop the smile from stretching up on his face, happy at
seeing his mother laugh like that even after the infuriating truth she just
knew about his husband.
Thinking he should capture those crinkly smiles, Jeongguk brings his lens up
and peers through the view finder to focus on her. The lens follows her as she
seems to thank the caretakers before a group of four people approach her from
the right side and Jeongguk narrows his eyes at instant.
There’s an old lady sitting on a wheelchair pushed by a teenage girl who’s
around the age of Jeongguk himself. She appears generally bored when she scans
the area around her, yet when Mrs. Jeon bends to hug the old lady, friendly
laughter’s exchanged between them, Jeongguk notices how the girl is watching
them with a fond tiny smile. But what makes Jeongguk feel short of breath is
the person standing next to her. He swears he can recognize that boxy smile
anywhere, which never fails to conjure the word ‘cute’ in his mind each time
Jeongguk gets a glimpse of it. Only that now the image goes from cute to cuter
since that boxy-smiled person is holding a child in his arms, giving Jeongguk a
warm feeling at how natural he seems to handle the kid, at how clingy the baby
is to him. There’s a clear bond between them and Jeongguk doesn’t think love is
something so difficult to notice when he sees it. Without any mistake, he knows
that person is Taehyung.    
“What are you doing here?” Jeongguk asks himself as he lowers the camera and
proceeds to slowly near the group, listening to their conversation.
“Hannie-ah, meet my grandchildren. This is the oldest, Taehyung. The only girl,
Taerie and the youngest, Puppy.” The old woman introduces them one by one to
his mother with a proud smile etches on her face and Mrs. Jeon coos in return.
“Aigoo, such pretty kids! Nice to meet you all, I’m Jeon Hannie. I’m your
grandma’s best friend since I started volunteering here 3 years ago!”
“Yes, yes. She’s such a kind lady. Be nice to her, kids.”
Jeongguk almost laughs at all of this. How much tangle can his life be to
Taehyung’s? He’s not sure anymore whether destiny intents to bring him closer
to Taehyung or to destroy them both when all the ugly truths fall apart later.
Mrs. Jeon waves a dismissive hand to Taehyung when he whistles playfully at
her.
“Aish, don’t make me flutter. Anyways, I have someone to introduce to all of
you too. Let me—”
Mrs. Jeon turns around just in time when Jeongguk arrives by her side, a polite
smile poises for everyone but his intense eyes fix upon Taehyung’s enlarging
ones. They both are shocked, he knows. Who could have guessed this right?
“Ah, there you are,” Mrs. Jeon pulls him closer by his elbow, patting
Jeongguk’s solid chest to show him off to the others. “Here, meet my only son
and hero, Jeon Jeongguk!”
Jeongguk and the old lady laugh at that. Taehyung, however, clearly isn’t
amused at hearing it, keeping his face suspicious still. Mrs. Jeon places a
gentle hand on the old woman’s shoulder, “This is the lady I was talking about,
Guk-ah. Mrs. Kim Hyeonju,” then she continues to wave at the three additions.
“And her beautiful grandchildren!”
Jeongguk bows to the woman, the only time his gaze finally leaves Taehyung.
“Pleasure to meet you, grandma.”
“Aigoo, aigoo. What a fine young man! You look just about the age of my
Taehyung, dear.” Mrs. Kim grins at him, a smile looks so alike to Taehyung’s
that it floors Jeongguk a bit, before she holds out her hand for her oldest
grandchild and Taehyung is reluctant to take it.
“Em, grandma—” Jeongguk quickly cuts him off. “Actually, we—”
“Heol, aren’t you two boyfriends?” Not quick enough once that sentence slips
from the only teenage girl in the group and everyone turns to blink at Taerie,
including Taehyung who widens his eyes in warning at her and Jeongguk who gives
her an arched eyebrow.
“Wait, what? Boy—boyfriends?” Mrs. Jeon frantically stares at Jeongguk for some
explanation while Mrs. Kim shakes her head, “What are you talking about, dear?”
“I swear they know each other! I saw their kissing photo as oppa’s wallpaper.
Wait, let me prove—”
Taehyung shrieks away from his sister at Taerie’s attempt to steal his phone.
As they chase around in circle, Jeongguk couldn’t do more except to gawk at
them since 1) holy fuck, Taehyung does stick to their promise to use their
photo together as phone’s wallpaper and 2) does he even tell his sister about
their fake dating scheme?
“Aish, okay! Okay! Let me explain!” Taehyung yells lastly once he’s tired
enough to run from Taerie who smirks a bit at her panting brother. Taehyung
frowns over at Jeongguk, hands on his hips.
“We do know each other, don’t we? Jeongguk-ah?”
Jeongguk shrugs, seeing no harm in admitting the truth. “Yeah, I met Taehyung
when I started attending the art school. He’s my senior.”
“I see, so…Just your senior?” And then comes the sly question from his mother
and Jeongguk is quick to catch up with her game. He wriggles his eyebrow,
winking at Taehyung.
“Well you can consider us friends who kiss a lot too if you count—”
“Anyways! I heard they need extra hands to help carrying the paints over so
I’ll get going first. Enjoy your chitchat!”
Jeongguk couldn’t stop the laughter from bursting out of him, shaking his head
while he watches red-faced Taehyung scrambles away from the group to never
listen to whatever Jeongguk has in mind to complete his sentence. Mrs. Jeon and
Mrs. Kim exchange meaningful smiles among them while Taerie’s back in her
bored-looking zone and Puppy has questioning stare for all of them.
“I’ll excuse myself to go and help him, I guess,” is what Jeongguk tells them
before he follows the path where Taehyung’s disappeared at, but not before he
hears Mrs. Jeon comments to her friend.
“What a small world huh?” He catches merry laughter belongs to Mrs. Kim. “We
both are just meant to be closer!”
Jeongguk finds Taehyung next to the wall of the cafeteria, helping another two
workers moving the buckets of paints out of the lorry to start with their mural
project. Clearly he involves in this and Jeongguk decides he’s going nowhere.
He wants to pester the senior like the usual little shit he is as he starts
with “I didn’t know my mom was a friend to your grandma for over 3 years.”
Taehyung does look at him for a second before he simply shrugs and reaches for
the next bucket.
“I didn’t know you were the type of mama boy to follow her to retirement house
for charity work.”
Jeongguk snorts. “I might be a jerk but I can still be a filial son. It’s
called being versatile.”
Taehyung’s chuckling at this, yet his sweet smile is far from indicating he
agrees to whatever Jeongguk just said. Not that Jeongguk mind though, he enjoys
every form of grin from the other. Simply because, well, he’s beautiful.
“She looks familiar though,” Taehyung says after a while.
“Who? My mom?”
“Yeah, her lips…I feel like I’ve drawn it somewhere.” Taehyung does look like
he’s recalling something but Jeongguk doesn’t want his mind to wander to
anywhere serious so he leans into his face and puckers his lips, causing
Taehyung to cringe.
“If you’re so curious about it, you can just look at mine. I have her lips, you
know.”
Jeongguk makes kissy noises to which Taehyung is all but slaps his mouth with
his palm, earning a ‘yah!’ from Jeongguk before he steps aside and points to a
few more paint buckets on the lorry.
“Are you going to help or just be useless?”
Jeongguk ends up sighing, knowing that he won’t get any chance to be flirty
when Taehyung’s set out to do something. Carefully places down his camera on a
bench near them, Jeongguk then shrugs off his denim jacket and salutes
Taehyung. “Well I’m at your service, darling.”
Now that Jeongguk’s taking over the task to move the paints over, Taehyung
starts to pick out the brushes they need for it and prepare the mixture of
colors in another different empty buckets before they’re greeted by the rest of
Taehyung’s siblings, offering to join the two for task at hand. Jeongguk knows
he has high level of focus once he’s set his eyes on something. So when Taerie
taps him on his shoulder from behind, Jeongguk is quite shocked to see her
behind him.
“Hey, you. You should stop carrying those pails around, someone can’t control
his hormones over you.” She informs, not at all hiding who she’s referring at
as she keeps her face expressionless but shoving a finger the same to her
brother.
Taehyung looks dumbfounded, trying to blink away the pinky shades on his cheeks
as he spins around to leave but Jeongguk’s already humming cunningly.
“You ogling my biceps, darling? Wanna know what else can they carry?” He then
proceeds to pinch his arm, confident that he looks exceptionally good carrying
the heavy buckets without breaking much sweat due to the sheer muscle strength
he has.
Taehyung once again ignores him, turning back not to speak with him but to push
a brush so hard he almost hits Jeongguk square on the face.
“The theme is fruits. We gonna draw and paint all kinds of them right on this
wall!” He grins an innocent grin at Jeongguk’s scowl.
“Draw? But I can’t paint for shit. I’m a dance major.”
“Well you can leave. They need more people to clean up the dorms inside after
all, leave this to us.”
“As if I will. I’m Jeon Jeongguk, in case you forgot. And I won’t be defeated
by some stupid bananas!” Jeongguk announces stubbornly as he clutches the brush
with a firm determination. Art major or not, he’s going to prove to Taehyung
that he can be productive in this activity.
A few moments later, Puppy is bouncing from one painting to another to list out
all the fruits they have drawn on the wall.
“Mangos! Grapes! Lemons! Apples! Strawberries! A…yellow thing?”
Both Taehyung and Taerie crack into the loudest laughter Jeongguk has ever
heard while the boy himself? Jeongguk just slams his back against the wall,
next to his masterpiece that has been so much confused by Puppy as a ‘yellow
thing’. The frowns crease along his forehead increase when Taehyung shakes his
head at him, still laughing.
“’I won’t be defeated by some stupid bananas’. Yet my six-year-old here can’t
even guess what they are when he got the other fruits right. You’re so funny,
Jeon Jeongguk.”
The said boy sulkily wrinkles his nose. “Sheesh. The shape is oblong, the color
is yellow and it’s bent like a half moon. It is a banana!”
Taehyung sighs, inspecting Jeongguk’s painting. “If you said so, but to me it
looks like a smudged yellow stick—”
“—like a half ass drawn dick.” Taerie flatly but clearly states.
Taehyung and Jeongguk gasp to her at the same time.
“Taerie! Keep it PG please, Puppy’s here!” Taehyung warns as he all but jumps
at Puppy to cover his ears. Taerie in return, gives him an unimpressive look
while Taehyung feels small hands covering his own and he looks down to see
Puppy blinking at him.
“Hyungie, you got paint on your palm.”
He gasps once again, removing them to see how he’s got Puppy’s ears and
sideburns colored. One second he’s panicking, but another second Taehyung’s
cooing upon the little baby.
“Huh! Now you’re purple, aren’t you beautiful, baby?” Puppy yells, bouncing
away from him when Taehyung dives down to smear more sticky paint on those tiny
cheeks. No one moves to stop the brothers from chasing each other until Puppy
corners near where Jeongguk is standing and he steps in front of him, a bowl of
yellow paint in hand.
“Here, Puppy. Let me do you a favor.”
And next, it’s Taehyung who’s covered in color.
“You!” Taehyung wipes the liquid out of his eyes with his hands, got the paint
sticking there as well as Jeongguk and Puppy high-five each other.
“Hahaha! Taetae hyung, now you’re yellow. Aren’t you beautipool, hyungie?”
Jeongguk adores how little Puppy is as sly as him. They make a good team.
“You two! Come here, I won’t forgive you!”
And Taehyung sets out for the adventure to chase after both Jeongguk and Puppy.
Soon enough, the mural is forgotten (except for Taerie who’s still touching up
her paint of strawberries as she blocks out the other three over the music in
her ears), the paint is all over the floor, their shirts, faces and hands, and
the area is nothing but booming with their mischievous laughter.
They don’t stop until Mrs. Jeon appears with a picnic basket, a fond smile
plastered on her face while she watches the kids, and hollers to them. “Kids,
wash up and let’s take a break!”
Of course, nobody says no to food. After the three boys compete for another
race to the toilet (in which both Jeongguk and Taehyung intentionally let Puppy
win just to hear his bubbly giggle), they all sit in a circle on a mat splayed
by Mrs. Jeon to ravish upon three gigantic lunchboxes all filled with
mouthwatering dishes.
“Look, it’s the best kimbap in the world!” Jeongguk shouts the compliment out
as he leans in to peck Mrs. Jeon on her cheek. The woman laughs but quickly
pushes the lunchboxes toward Taehyung and his siblings when they seem to shy
away from eating it.
“Dig in, dear. I’m sorry I didn’t bring enough, if only I knew I’ll be seeing
you all too.”
“It’s okay, Mrs. Jeon. This tastes perfect!” Taehyung holds his thumb up,
happily popping another piece of kimbap into his mouth. Puppy claps his hands.
“Yesh, yesh! It’s soooo delicious!”
“Aww, I’ll make you more the next time we meet, sweetheart. You want some hot
chocolate?” Mrs. Jeon couldn’t resist but shower the little boy with all her
attention and care, already pouring the drink into a plastic cup as Puppy nods
eagerly at her.
When she’s passing the cup to him, reminding Puppy gently to blow it first
before drinking it, Mrs. Jeon catches the way Taerie’s staring at her nails.
The girl looks away immediately, however, once she realizes Mrs. Jeon is
directing a questioning look at her. She merely shrugs.
“Your nails are goal.”
Mrs. Jeon looks back to her perfectly manicured nails, finally understands what
she’s been paying attention at. She beams at her.
“Thank you, sweetheart! You want me to teach you how to do it?” Taerie is quick
to refuse but then, it’s Taehyung who answers on behalf of her, always
understanding what she really wants.
“Yes, please! She actually brings her new nail polishes today.” Mrs. Jeon
brightens up as Taehyung winks upon the frown Taerie throws at him.
“Really? That’s great! Come, let me show you. What color do you want to wear?”
Taerie is reluctant but soon enough she’s pulling out the small, glassy bottles
she got from her brother this morning.
“I’ve always wanted to try out this…”
“Black! Conventional! It actually goes well with some glitters…”
And Jeongguk is watching all the interaction happening before his sight with a
small, quiet smile unable to leave his face. His day out with his mother steers
too far away from his expectation but he’s not complaining. Absolutely not
complaining when he gets to learn how Taehyung actually has adorable siblings
to which the youngest is currently sitting on his lap now and Taehyung himself
looks very pleased at watching his siblings being happy.
Jeongguk has seen all kind of smiles from Taehyung.
The sultry, the enchanting, the cunning…yet the one he’s showing now must be
one of the most sincere smiles from him because it doesn’t just make Taehyung
look very beautiful, but it makes him ethereal.
Jeongguk knows there’s no way he can stop his heart from liking the senior a
little bit more.
He doesn’t know he’s staring until those brown eyes lock with his and Jeongguk
holds it long and gentle, trying to say something that’s unspoken yet so clear
between them. When his gaze falls to Taehyung’s lips, there’s a crumb stuck
there and Jeongguk mindlessly reaches out to wipe it off Taehyung’s skin.
Taehyung watches him all the time, expecting Jeongguk to throw the crumb away.
Instead, he brings his fingertip back to his own lips and licks the sweetness
of the kimbap, knowing that his heartbeat picks up not due to the taste, but
due to the way Taehyung’s cheeks flush with pretty pink and how he avoids his
gaze.
If anything, Jeongguk’s smile widens even more, losing idea why even the
littlest moment with Taehyung capable to make him feel so content, so alive,
so…in love.
It doesn’t make sense. His heart doesn’t make sense.
===============================================================================
 
There’s nothing unusual with the scene unfolding before him. The white bed
covering a patient with a white sheet, the IV drip connecting fluid to the
patient, the beats of the heart monitor by the right side of the bed and the
patient himself lying there with eyes closed, looking like he’s dead but the
machine tells them he’s still alive. Just comatose. Not dead, and Dr. Jeon
needs him to not dead because the patient’s live holds the life of his own wife
right now.
So yes, there’s nothing unusual in front of him. Yet Dr. Jeon feels all kind of
abnormality as he listens to the other doctor beside him, holding out a
clipboard while he’s speaking.
“This is the result for the second blood test. As you can see, it clearly
matches your wife’s blood, perfect for her to proceed with the bone marrow
transplant,” Dr. Jeon scans briefly over the paper, already can tell from his
years of experience the doctor is right. “But there’s only one vital problem
here.”
Dr. Jeon doesn’t need explanation. He already knows it.
“He’s not fit enough to undergo the surgery.”
The other doctor nods to him. “Exactly. If it’s true like you once informed,
that you’ve found his blood relative who can be tested to see if it matches
your wife’s genes, then it’s safer to proceed with that plan.”
Dr. Jeon drags his gaze back down to the patient, picturing a certain teenage
boy in his mind. He doesn’t yet have the plan to bring the boy over for the
blood test. He needs to figure it out even more carefully.
“Just so you know, Dr. Jeon. Your wife is at the fourth stage of leukemia. If
she is to undergo this transplant, we have to make sure she’s got enough stem
cells to be donored to her. One matching donor won’t be enough,” adds the
doctor again. The third doctor in the room, one who keeps himself quiet from
the start nodding at this.
“And you know how getting the matching donors through the national bone marrow
registries are difficult. It takes time, and time is what your wife has the
least.”
“I’m aware of that, gentlemen. That’s why I’m gonna find the rest of his blood
relatives.” Dr. Jeon points out to the unmoving patient. “Excuse me for now.”
Once he moves to step out of the room, his personal assistant is already there
waiting for his order. Seokjin briefly bows for a greeting and Dr. Jeon pushes
his chin to indicate the door behind him.
“The patient got two children whom I believe living in an orphanage. Kim Taerie
and a weird named child, Kim Puppy. Find everything about them for me.” That’s
all he said to Seokjin before he resumes his way back to his office.
He misses the way Seokjin throws a worry glance upon the door where a certain
name is hung there, Kim Dohyeon. Dr. Jeon tells it to no one but Seokjin has
been his personal assistant for years to understand this man is somehow related
to Kim Taehyung—the boy his boss has been obsessed with.
===============================================================================
 
The charity event isn’t supposed to turn out like this. It supposed to end
right after they completed the mural, cleaned up the dorms and cooked lunch
together with the old folks. When one of the old uncles suggest for them to
have a ‘little fun’ since it’s rare for the house to have guests, Jeongguk may
or may not has taken the fun aspect into a completely different level.
The night is lowering its curtain and a charity event isn’t supposed to go this
way, but the ever bold Jeon Jeongguk turns on the Bluetooth from his Iphone to
transfer his playlist to the stereo set of the residence and soon enough, the
whole place is filled with Kpop latest hits that no one could ever imagine
being played out loud in a retirement home of all places.
What has started with quiet laughter and small clapping transform to a few
cheering when Jeongguk waltzes his way to a random old lady and gets down to
his knee, dramatically asking for her hand to dance. Taehyung does the same,
helping his grandma out of her wheelchair and into the ‘dance floor’ created in
the middle of the group as they both sway the old ladies in their respective
arms to the rhythm of the song. Everyone’s is laughing, watching the young boys
entertaining the ladies as a few more couples join them.
Jeongguk glances to where his mother is standing around the ring of the group,
Puppy in her arms as they both too, slow dancing between them. Taehyung beckons
for Taerie to participate with the fun but all she responds in return is with
the roll of her eyes, utterly confused when more and more old couples crowding
the floor to dance together and to Big Bang’s song for crying out loud!
But then Puppy comes running to her, opening his tiny palm to offer her the
dance and Taerie stares helplessly down at his blinding smile, doesn’t know how
to say no to that.
“Em, Puppy, I—”
All she hears next is her own surprised gasp as Taehyung sweeps her off by her
wrist and into a circle consists the three of them, forcing her to dance along
with Puppy and him. Taerie can’t help but gradually enjoying it, aware that
she’s weak when it comes to her siblings. They sway a couple of times, making
Puppy giggle so loud when they both smother him with kisses by either side of
his cheeks until someone clears his throat behind of Taerie and they stop to
look up at a grinning Jeongguk.
He holds his hand out to Taehyung. “May I have this dance?”
Their oldest brother is looking at Taerie but she already secures Puppy in her
arms, ready to bring him away as she could only give the two one from her tons
of uninterested looks. Puppy blows a kiss each for Taehyung and Jeongguk as
they walk away.
“If you insist,” Taehyung finally clasps his hand into Jeongguk’s, trying his
best to keep his face flat.
He fails not too long after when Jeongguk snakes a hand around his thin waist
and pulls Taehyung way too close until their noses graze each other’s. Jeongguk
can even feel how their warm breath mingles as he stares straight into those
big brown eyes, not even dares to blink in case Taehyung’s just an illusion of
beauty in front of him. The beautiful smile appears again on Taehyung’s face
once he laces their fingers into an intimate braid before Jeongguk spins him
and ends up pulling Taehyung flushed to his chest, hugging both arms around the
senior instead of holding him with one hand. He knows he’s annoying for being
clingy but Jeongguk has this urge to stay as close as possible to Taehyung.
It’s frustrating.
He calms down only after Taehyung rests his chin on his shoulder, returning the
hug back by circling his arms around Jeongguk’s neck while they continue to
sway with littlest movement, the rest of the people and music blending into
everything else in the background. There’s just the two of them, oddly.
Jeongguk closes his eyes and presses his nose to Taehyung’s hair, smelling the
softest scent on him.   
“…like a baby.”
“Hm?” Jeongguk shudders a bit when Taehyung’s deep baritone rings so close to
his ear. God, is there any part of Kim Taehyung that isn’t addictive?
“You smell like a baby…” Jeongguk lazily repeats, pressing his nose deeper to
Taehyung. Too attracted to care if he’s crossing some sort of borderline now.
“Ah, sorry. I helped Puppy washed up just now, it must be his powder.” Taehyung
reasons and tries to pull away but Jeongguk whines, actually whines to make
Taehyung stay where he is.
“No, stay. I like how it smells on you. It’s so soft,” he’s too comfy to move
after all. Pulls Taehyung closer because what is personal space? “…it suits
you.”
Jeongguk hopes Taehyung couldn’t feel how his heart flip against his chest when
the senior sags and fists his fingers into Jeongguk’s shirt, seemingly to agree
with his mind that space is a word should be thrown out of their dictionary.
“I like your mother. She’s gentle and kind, I miss having one.” Taehyung
whispers after a few moments of just holding each other.
Jeongguk realizes another thing here. He’s about to find out one more thing
about Taehyung. He doesn’t know if he can handle the backstory but he needs to
try. Being vulnerable about your life isn’t something anyone can do to a
stranger. And if Taehyung trusts him enough to open up to him, Jeongguk will
take it. Jeongguk wants to be more than a stranger to Taehyung, after all. He
carefully clears his throat.
“May I know what happened to yours?”
Taehyung takes his time, and Jeongguk waits but he sighs eventually.
“She left…one morning I woke up, there was a letter from her, asking me to not
find her back and to take care of my siblings. I was 14, wasn’t sure of what
happening and left alone with a small unnamed baby. It was one of those days
that I didn’t have a single idea of what to think…”
Jeongguk swallows, Taehyungis a person full of unexpected surprises.
“So you named him Puppy? Your baby brother?”
“I was so close to give him up. I had no idea how to raise him. But he reminded
me of a lost puppy. And I was just a stupid child back then so I registered him
the first name that popped out in my head. I won’t ever forget how the
registrar looked at me that day.” Taehyung’s chuckle is light yet Jeongguk can
detect the hint of adoration in his voice when he talks about the little boy.
“So that’s why he has such a special name, Puppy…” Taehyung hums, agreeing.
“I like your siblings. I never have any brother or sister. I’m a lone child in
my family.”
“And that’s why you’re a spoiled brat.”
“Hey, at least I know how to share my kimbaps!” Jeongguk pinches Taehyung a bit
by the side of his waist and the senior flinches, laughing deep into Jeongguk’s
ears. He loves hearing it.
“And at least you don’t have to go through the hassle of dealing with younger
siblings.”
“But it must have been a hassle that you can laugh at later on right?”
“Yeah, it’s a little irritating and a lot funny. You sometimes bicker for the
stupidest shit ever.” Jeongguk lets out a heavy sigh at thinking how different
they are.
“Imagine, it must be great if we are family. You and your siblings can have a
mother, and I can have siblings.” He says out of nowhere. Taehyung stiffens a
little.
“That’s unthinkable, Jeongguk. How can we be a family?”
“I don’t know. If you marry me? I don’t wanna marry your sister, she’s a scary
girl.” Taehyung laughs again at this, and it triggers Jeongguk’s own smile.
“Yeah, she can be a little bitch.” Silence. And Jeongguk assumes their empty
chitchat is done but then, “I don’t know about marriage. It seems like a far
away and foolish idea to me, but I do know if I like someone enough to always
stay with him.”
That’s when the time stops.
“Tae?”
Slowly pulling apart, Jeongguk is floored with the intense look Taehyung so
openly directing on him. It’s even harder to stare at when he’s so close in
front of him, beautiful and not Jeongguk’s.
Then Taehyung chooses that exact moment to shatter his world.
“I like you, Jeongguk-ah.”
That’s the last thing he expects to hear from someone who’s ruining his family
and that’s also the first thing he knows he always hopes to hear from Taehyung
since he has this unbearable, weird ache in his heart. Only for Taehyung.
His lack of response makes Taehyung to step closer to him, to whisper gentler.
“Really like you, Jeongguk-ah. I’ve never been surer about my feeling before.”
Jeongguk gulps. He wants to answer him. God, he needs to answer him.
“I…”
“Mrs. Jeon?! Mrs. Jeon, are you okay? Please—”
“Hannie-ah, what happened to you? Oh my god, someone calls the ambulance
please!”
And that’s the second Jeongguk shifts his eyes away from Taehyung only to see
his mother already on the ground, lifeless and quiet. Jeongguk couldn’t think
of anything else as he dashes over to her side.
“Tae—Taerie-ah, what…what’s happening to her?” Taehyung is there with him in a
second, asking his sister but all Jeongguk can feel is the cold creeping in his
blood.
“I don’t know, oppa. We were just talking and she just…she just collapsed!”
Jeongguk pats a few times on her pale cheek, hoping she would open her eyes to
look at him again. The bile is rising up higher in his throat the longer he
gets no response from her.
“Mom, please. Please, don’t scare me like this. Mom! Can you hear me? Please
wake up! Please! Mom! God, help me.”
The rest is happening in a blur. The buzz of the ambulance alarm. The people
dragging him momentarily away from his mother so they can carry her up into the
van and the wires all around her as Jeongguk stays beside her through all the
fuss.
“Mom, it’s alright. Hang on there, we—we’ll be there. Just, hang on. Please,”
Jeongguk knows he’s holding too tight to her hand and probably is hindering the
paramedics from doing their job but he can’t let her go. He won’t.
He isn’t sure where Taehyung is anymore. He barely hears the siblings talking
from the doors of the van.
“Go.”
“But I,” Taehyung looks back and forth from Jeongguk to his siblings. “I can’t
leave you two alone. I need to send you back—”
“Oppa, we know the way back to the orphanage. I’ll keep us save. Just go, I
know you’re worried about him.”
Jeongguk couldn’t think straight to hear Taehyung’s decision but then…
“God, please get home safely, Taerie-ah. Puppy too! I love you both!”
Taehyung jumps in and they’re zooming to the hospital.
===============================================================================
 
“I’m sorry, please wait outside while we’re tending her.”
For the third time, he’s being blocked by the nurse from bursting his way
inside to the emergency room where his mother has been dragged into earlier.
Jeongguk hisses out loud.
“No, let me through! I have to make sure she’s fine. She needs to be fine! You
have to help her! You have to save her! Mom!”
“Jeongguk, stop it! Calm down!” He feels arms wrap around him from behind,
Taehyung’s voice close to his ears as he tightens his hold to withstand his
insistent tug. “Stop it, let the nurses do their job. They gonna help her, your
mom is going to be fine. Trust me.”
When Jeongguk fights to be released once more, Taehyung’s voice turns gentler.
“Come on, let’s sit. You’re just getting in their way.”
Jeongguk takes a deep breath, forcing himself to be rational again. He knows
there’s not much he can do except to wait. He follows Taehyung’s lead to a
bench nearby before he sits himself there and Taehyung lowers before him on his
knees, clutching both of his hands.
He isn’t sure how long they stay quiet, just letting Jeongguk breathe through
it all until Taehyung speaks again to ask a question.
“What…What’s happening to your mom?” Jeongguk knows this question is coming.
It’s only logic to wonder after all.
“She’s sick. Myelogenous leukemia, stage 3.” His voice is so quiet it’s almost
inaudible.
“Oh Jeongguk, I’m…I’m so sor—”
“Don’t apologize!” Jeongguk doesn’t mean to snap. But Taehyung doesn’t seem to
alarm, he’s staring steadily at Jeongguk in fact. “It’s not her fault she’s
sick. She’s gonna be alright.”
“Of course she will. I’m sure of that too.” Taehyung assures him without a
pause of doubt. He hides his face down to his lap, exhaling because it’s hard.
Convincing himself of something that’s so uncertain is hard.
“Jeongguk? Can I…Can I hold you?”
“Yes, please.”
And he doesn’t realize how much he needs a hug, how much he needs someone to
hold him until Taehyung leans down to cocoon him into his arms. Jeongguk allows
himself to melt, to rest his head against Taehyung’s chest and to just take
comfort in his calming scent. He can’t lose his mother. Not now, not when they
have come so far.
Taehyung cards his fingers through his hair and Jeongguk moves forward to press
closer, wanting to hide his face into the senior’s neck only to notice someone
in a white coat is marching towards their way.
“Dr. Oh…” Taehyung makes a questioning sound, doesn’t let him go. “Who?”
Pulling gently away from him, Jeongguk stands up just in time to block the
doctor from entering the room he’s forbid to go inside just now. His expression
is fierce.
“You said she was okay! You discharged her because her condition was fine! Then
why did all this happen?” The doctor, her mother’s personal specialist can only
sigh as he gives him a calm look.
“Her condition was fine enough to rest at home. That’s why I discharged her.
She must have fainted due to fatigue. What was her activity today?”
Jeongguk stops to recall, feeling Taehyung’s warmth by his side.
“She…She was just with me, we were doing some volunteerism—”
“You mean excessive exertion? If I’m not mistaken volunteerism usually involves
physical activities, and Mrs. Jeon has a limit she shouldn’t exceed. She should
have known that, I told her what she can and cannot do as a fourth staged
patient.” Jeongguk is pretty much sure his hearing is playing trick to him but
Taehyung gasps, what makes him so surprised?
“Fourth—fourth stage? What do you mean—I thought she was at the third!”
Jeongguk refuses to believe. Dr. Oh stares a bit longer before answering this
time.
“I guess your father hasn’t informed you yet. Mrs. Jeon’s at the fourth stage
now, Jeongguk. You have to take extra care in looking after her or she might
survive less than the only 6 months she has.”
“Si…Six?”
Jeongguk is quite sure everything is breaking all around him.
“Excuse me, my patient is waiting.”
With a pat is left on his shoulder, the doctor sidesteps him and Jeongguk loses
all bearing he has, feeling his knees wobble and only Taehyung’s arms stop him
from totally hitting the floor.
“Jeongguk? Jeongguk!” He doesn’t respond. He couldn’t respond. Because six
months…What can he do to save her within six months?
“Wait here, yeah? I’ll go get you some drink. You need to stay hydrated, okay?”
That’s the only thing he hears from Taehyung before the warm touch of
Taehyung’s palm to his cheek disappears and Jeongguk flinches, blindly reaches
out for him.
“Come back soon. I don’t wanna be alone,” he hears himself pleading.
Taehyung is staring at him but he can’t see him. There are so many crystals in
his sight. Jeongguk blinks them away and Taehyung already leaning down,
touching his lips to his forehead deep and lingering.
“And then you won’t. I promise.” He whispers right onto his skin. “I’ll be
right back.”
And the moment he’s out of his sight, Jeongguk starts to think. Thinking on
ways to save his mother, thinking of ways to stay calm, thinking of whom should
he put the blame on, thinking of who promises to save her no matter what and he
thinks of his father.
His father.
Where the hell is he?
When his mother is dying? When she is fighting with her own life?
Jeongguk gets up and the next thing he knows is that he needs Dr. Jeon to be by
her side, to make sure she’s okay, to confirm she’s not dying.
Jeongguk rushes around the corner to the elevator and looks up to see it’s
opening with Taehyung waiting in front of it and a group of doctors walk out.
Jeongguk freezes on his feet. His eyes widen. Taehyung frowns to the group.
His father is one of them.
And he’s face to face with Taehyung.
“You’re a doctor here?”
Is all that Jeongguk hears Taehyung ask from where he’s standing with cold
blood.
Chapter End Notes
     Jeongguk IS going to give his answer to Taehyung's confession right
     in the NEXT chap. But what will his answer be? Hint: 70% happy, 30%
     unhappy. Comment below if you think he'll say yes or not to liking
     him back! ^^
     (and I'm sorry this is such a mess thou. I was half asleep writing
     this.)
***** More than History *****
Chapter Notes
     Have I put fluff as one of the tags? Yeah, let me tag this story
     again. FLUFF! 14k of a chapter and most of it is fluff. Good luck.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Jeongguk slams his body straight to the nearest wall he can reach, ignoring the
sting from where his head makes contact with the white concrete. He doesn’t
think he can feel any pain right at the moment except for the numbness
spreading through every inch of his vein from the scene he just saw unveiling
before his two eyes.
This is not how it supposed to happen.
This is not where it supposed to happen.
This is wrong.
Very wrong.
Taehyung and Dr. Jeon.
The boy he’s supposed to hate but now slowly has come to adore and his own
father are standing in front of each other, looking at one another, breathing
the same air. This should not be happening. This isnotwhat Jeongguk has in
plan.
But what was his plan again?
Oh yeah.
To destroy Kim Taehyung.
To destroy them both.
Hey, Jeongguk. Isn’t it working now? You have the boy’s heart. You win it.
Now take the chance and break it.
Break them both. Right there.
Jeongguk forcefully shakes his head with his eyes close tight, chasing away the
demons, hatred and anger in him before someone’s voice echoes behind the wall
and Jeongguk exhales through harsh breath.
“What are you doing here?” It’s his father, posing the question to none other
than Taehyung.
Steeling his body enough to stand straighter and peek out, Jeongguk regrets he
has to watch all of this. The confusion on Taehyung’s face. The concern in Dr.
Jeon’s eyes. That isn’t a look you give to a mere hooker. And that isn’t the
gaze you direct on someone who pays you for sex. Jeongguk’s in pain. He wants
to look away so badly. This is all wrong.
Before Taehyung could open his mouth to answer, one of the doctors steps out
from behind Dr. Jeon. He looks back and forth between the two before he informs
flatly, “Sir, we have to go now. The patient’s waiting.”
Dr. Jeon momentarily distracted by that, as if he just remembers why he’s here
in the first place. Jeongguk watches as he gives the younger doctor a stern nod
and thinks he will just walk away but two steps to the left, across from where
Jeongguk’s hiding, Dr. Jeon turns back and frowns deeply down at Taehyung.
He appears as if he’s physically pained to leave Taehyung alone.
It hurts Jeongguk. Like, a lot.
Hurts him even more when Dr. Jeon stretches his hand out and drops the pat on
top of Taehyung’s head, an action so loving and innocent if it’s not for the
fact that Jeongguk knows what’s going on between them. Jeongguk wishes time
would stop.
“We’ll talk later, yeah? I’ll contact you,” and without waiting for Taehyung’s
reply, Dr. Jeon runs his palm down from his hair to cup his cheek for a second
before he finally lets go.
Jeongguk watches how Taehyung watching him leave with the rest of the doctors.
He’s aware it isn’t his place to feel his heart breaking but that’s the chaos
in Jeongguk’s chest now. Everything’s breaking.
You’re supposed to break him, not the one gets broken.
Still, Jeongguk knows well it’s too late for him to turn away from Taehyung.
He’s too involved. Has too many feelings. Has too little rationality. So he
steps out of the wall and makes way to where his heart wants to be.
“Who’s that?”
Taehyung visibly shudders hearing his voice, turning to look at him with not a
shock on his face but rather an utter daze, like he’s not ready for Jeongguk to
be there. Taehyung seems to struggle answering so Jeongguk prompts with “Is he
your customer?”
It isn’t Taehyung’s fault he had to see what he just saw but Jeongguk needs
answers. He needs them so desperately just as much as his heart yearns for
Taehyung. He needs Taehyung to tell him he is wrong. About everything.
What makes it worse is that Taehyung does look guilty.
“I swear I didn’t know. I’m not allowed to ask anything personal to my
customers, remember? So I didn’t expect to see him here. I didn’t know he’s a
doctor.”
As much as his heart breaking to see Taehyung together with his father, it
shatters even more to look at how lost and helpless Taehyung is right now.
Jeongguk is honest when he admits he doesn’t want to be the reason to
Taehyung’s sadness but he also doesn’t have the slightest idea on how to deal
with them. Taehyung and him, they are a kind of impossibility.
But Jeongguk has so much wants for Taehyung, he doesn’t see the whole Pacific
in between them. He only sees the way to build the bridge to get him to this
very boy in front of him. So Jeongguk swallows everything and holds his hand
out. Taehyung looks down to it.
Yes, his father is a customer. But Taehyung doesn’t know the real Dr. Jeon.
It’s okay. It’s okay.
He keeps on repeating it in his head.
“Whatever. Just come back with me.”
Taehyung furrows slightly, too cute for someone who’s capable of breaking
hearts. His heart. “What about your drink?”
“Forget it, I’m fine. I just need you with me.”
Jeongguk pretends his entire soul doesn’t just swirl up to god knows where upon
the way Taehyung’s face softens at his admission. Taking a step closer to him,
Taehyung places his hand on top of his and interlocks them together, making
everything in Jeongguk feel right at an instant.
Of course none of this is right. Jeongguk lets Taehyung lead him back to the
emergency ward but the gears in his head never stop thinking of the way Dr.
Jeon looked at Taehyung, the reason why Taehyung couldn’t give him a clear
answer about his customers and the logic behind his protectiveness over his
relationship with them.
===============================================================================
 
The dark sky is turning to a shade of softest pink out through the window of
the hospital room and Jeongguk is still here, jostling in and out of sleep each
time his head slips from the head-rest of the chair but never once leaves the
side of his mother. Mrs. Jeon thankfully has been declared stable right after
the intense checkup. She’s then transferred back to her regular first class
room to rest for the remaining of the day and even when a new day is entering,
even when both Jeongguk and Taehyung aware school is a few hours away, they
choose to wait until the lady regains her consciousness.
That’s why upon the slightest move of Mrs. Jeon’s fingers in their clasped
hands, Jeongguk is able to jerk awake from his sleep, leaning forward to the
edge of the bed to check on her.
“Mom?” He calls out quietly, tightening his grip on her as Mrs. Jeon struggles
to flutter her eyes open.
“Mom, you’re awake? Can you hear me?”
Jeongguk tries again, speaking closer to her face in case she didn’t hear him.
There’s a few seconds silence before Mrs. Jeon breathes out his name in slowest
whisper, “Guk-ah…”
Jeongguk sags down to the side of her arm, feeling like a gigantic rock finally
has been lifted away from his shoulders and his chest gradually loosening.
Before he realizes it, Jeongguk’s sobbing into the wrist of his mother’s hand.
“Mom…Mom, you’re okay. You’re awake. I can still see you,” Jeongguk lifts his
face when Mrs. Jeon nudges him under his chin, smiling widely despite his
tears. “God, thank you.”
His mother has matching tears on her face, cascading like a string of pearls
down her cheeks as she cups his face and wipes them dry when Jeongguk presses
closer to her palm, soaking her warmth.
“I’m sorry, honey. You must have been so worried. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you
about my condition—”
Jeongguk rapidly shakes his head. “You’ll be okay, mom. You’ll get healthy
again. I’ll do anything to make sure of it. I’ll even pester dad every day if
it means you’ll get better again. I promise.”
Mrs. Jeon stares for a longest minute on him, a thin smile appearing on the
curve of her lips.
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
Despite the reassurance, her facial remains sad. There’s something clearly
still bugging her and it doesn’t sit well for Jeongguk. He entwines their hands
again, reaching his free hand to stroke her forehead.
“What’s wrong?”
Jeongguk watches as she shifts her eyes to scan around the spacious room,
reminiscing the years she’s spent here trying to heal herself. Her gaze returns
to him so that she can give Jeongguk a smile but it’s far from happiness.
“I hope I could stand for myself, not depending a lot on your father after
everything that happened.”
Jeongguk has no word to say, too aware she’s still hurting from knowing her
husband’s deeds behind her. What would she do if she knows one of the people
involved with Dr. Jeon is also in this room? Someone who’s so close to her best
friend, in fact? Jeongguk gulps and resists the urge to glance at where
Taehyung has fallen asleep on the couch nearby. He’s a bit relieved his mother
doesn’t ask further of how he found out about Dr. Jeon’s scandals. If she did,
Jeongguk would probably die twice—once to deal with her pain and again to get
through his own misery of falling for the only person he shouldn’t.
“Would you forgive him?” Mrs. Jeon contemplates to answer, frowning hard while
she plays with their hands.
“Not now, not yet. But one day I will,” she says it softly but the resolution
is final in her eyes. “Because my marriage to him brought me to you, darling.”
Jeongguk doesn’t know loving his own mother can hurt this much. And he’s aware
she feels the same once Mrs. Jeon caresses the faint scar on his cheek, smile
growing bigger.
“And I can never regret you. You’re the greatest gift in my whole life, Jeon
Jeongguk. Remember that.” Jeongguk couldn’t stop himself, hiccupping out loud
from the emotion thick in his chest as he all but launches himself straight
into Mrs. Jeon’s arms, sniffling like a little child instead of a grown up
teenager onto her narrow shoulder. His mother chuckles, kissing his hair while
tangling her fingers through it. They stay holding each other tightly for
another minute before Mrs. Jeon peers over his shoulder and notices how
Taehyung curls around a cushion, shivering now and then in his sleep.
“Send him back. He’s been here the entire night,” she says as they pull apart,
eyes still look concern on Taehyung. Jeongguk joins her, staring upon
Taehyung’s sleeping face and stopping his heart from blooming further with
adoration. He sighs.
“He just confessed to me.”
Jeongguk looks for any hint of surprise or disapproval in his mother’s
expression but all he sees unexpectedly is a genuine smile, stretching wide
across her face.
“Really? That’s great, darling.” It causes Jeongguk’s chest to tighten with
guilt even more.
“You mean it’s okay to like him back?”
“What?” Mrs. Jeon doesn’t seem to understand the stutter in his question,
taking it in a little longer before she asks him calmly. “Is this something to
do with his job?”
Jeongguk almost chokes on his own saliva. He doesn’t see that coming, at all.
“How—how do you know about it?”
His mother sighs, crossing her arms together in front of her chest as she fixes
him a serious look. “Do you think I’m friend with his grandma for nothing? We
always talked about that boy and his siblings. He’s been through a lot, but
he’s a good boy. A caring grandchild, in fact. Just because he’s a hooker—his
job is that out of all other work—it doesn’t mean he has no right to be
sincerely loved back.”
Jeongguk begins to feel the burden behind those words. As a human, yes,
Taehyung has every right on his happiness even if it involves Jeongguk himself.
As an escort to his father, can he still agree on that basis? Would his mother
still be saying the same thing about Taehyung if she ever knew the raw truth
behind all this?
“Good people could make bad decisions,” Jeongguk’s quiet hearing this and Mrs.
Jeon stares at him. After a while, she adds, “It’s okay to disagree with the
way he lives but you should help him find the way out instead of leave him
helpless. That’s what you should do if you like him enough to stay in his
life.”
Good people could make bad decisions…Somehow, Jeongguk couldn’t let that go. It
clings to every corner of his head as he thinks of chances to make Taehyung and
him possible, if there’s even any possibility between them.
How can he love Taehyung without feeling like an utter betrayal to his mother?
How can he do that after hating his father so much? There are too many what
if’s, and there are also but’s. Jeongguk doesn’t know anymore, fearing he would
just meet a dead end for this whole shitty situation.
===============================================================================
 
Jeongguk figures the only way out to all his dilemmas is by truly understanding
the matter happening between Taehyung and his father. Clearly they aren’t just
a one-time thing. Dr. Jeon knows the hooker as Taehyung instead of V, they’re
obviously on phone contact basis and what had Jeongguk saw just now…the looks
exchanged between them, that scene just wouldn’t leave his mind.
So Jeongguk decides he’s going to ask.
He slowly turns to Taehyung, sitting beside him with their shoulders brushing
against each other every time the bus going through a bumpy road. They’re on
the way to send Taehyung back to the club and the older boy looks calm while
peering out the glass window, taking in the morning scenery but Jeongguk is
restless.
How can he bring all this out to Taehyung without sounding like he’s judging
his job? Yet he also has the nudging urge to know why his father keeps coming
back to the senior and he—
“What’s bothering you actually?” Taehyung’s question snaps him out of his
contemplation, catching his slight frown from where the senior is staring at
him through the glass.
“I…”
“I can see it in your face. You have frowns on your forehead, and you stare
hard at me whenever you think I’m not looking,” Taehyung explains further,
finally looking straight at him as he waits for Jeongguk to speak. He doesn’t.
Of all the time, his damn tongue chooses this exact moment to be tied. Great.
“Ask me anything. I’ll let you know.”
Taehyung clearly is patient in dealing with his emotional struggles. Which
Jeongguk is grateful for because as he waits quietly, Taehyung doesn’t make any
move to force the words out of him. He’s staring, but his eyes are gentle
instead of curious or urging. Jeongguk loses idea of how not to fall in love
with him.
“Was…Was the man I saw just now the same man as I answered the call for?”
Taehyung takes his time to answer, recalling the event when Jeongguk answered
the phone call from his own father in the school library before. But Taehyung’s
response is just a simple “Yes.”
Jeongguk swallows, doesn’t know whether to feel relief or mad with that
honesty.
“You seemed different to him than the way you were with Mr. Kang. You never
spoke that way to Mr. Kang. What’s so special with the customer this time?”
There, he lets it out. He finally asks Taehyung the biggest question out of a
thousand others he has regarding Dr. Jeon and Taehyung. Yes, he wants so
desperately to find out why his father is different. Why doesn’t his father
annoy Taehyung just how Mr. Kang did? Taehyung continues to stare at him for
another long moment before he chuckles and it surprises Jeongguk.
He shouldn’t be laughing. Jeongguk is this close to shitting himself.
He splutters quickly, “Why are you laughing? You don’t have to tell me if it’s
something that shouldn’t be told. I just—”
Taehyung, however, just shakes his head and laughs harder. “You’re so cute when
you’re curious, Jeonggukie.”
Jeongguk huffs, couldn’t believe that the question so heavy to him is taken so
lightly by Taehyung. He’s about to fire some sarcastic remark to how he’s aware
of his cuteness but everything goes to hell when Taehyung stills his giggling
and speaks,
“He’s special because he’s the only customer who doesn’t pay me for sex.”
Jeongguk’s breath hitches.
What did he just say…?
His father, his very own biological father, Dr. Jeon Ryeowook isn’t paying Kim
Taehyung for sex service? But what about those nights he used to see Taehyung
came and left from his father’s penthouse suite? What about the kiss shared by
the two that he saw with his very two eyes on the first time he met Taehyung in
person? If it wasn’t for sex, then what did Taehyung do to be paid for?
There are multimillion questions but Jeongguk only has one mouth to speak and
breathe through at the same time. So he just ends up opening his mouth, unable
to decide which question he should ask first and closing his mouth again only
to gasp to try and get a word out once more. He’s hyperventilating, if the
gradual shiver running through his body and the quicken breathing are any
indication. But he can’t help it. He’s too surprised, too shocked, too confused
and the next thing he knows, everything stops when Taehyung cups his face into
both of his large palms. He’s leaning close to Jeongguk’s face, letting him to
see every detail of concern appearing on it.
“Hey, Jeongguk.” His name is called so gently. “Honey, you okay? Why are you
freaking out?”
Jeongguk slowly blinks, focusing his sight only upon Taehyung. He still looks
so beautiful even with worry lingering on his face and Jeongguk feels his
cheeks warming at the thought of Taehyung worrying about him, the sign that he
cares for him. When Taehyung starts to caress his cheeks, Jeongguk at last
settles down again, feeling at ease as he regulates his breathing and directs
his thoughts back to the thing Taehyung just told him.
The fact that his father doesn’t pay the senior for sex.
Fuck, that changes everything.
Holy fuck, that was never the case Jeongguk had even dared to think of.
He’s about to open his mouth, to at least ask ‘is this for real? Are you
serious?’ but Taehyung beats him to it.
“Relax, there’s nothing to freak out. I’ll tell you anything you wanna know
after this. Take a deep breath first, yeah?” And with that, Taehyung pulls his
head to him, resting it onto his shoulder and wrapping Jeongguk into his warm
arms.
The sudden affection causes Jeongguk to forget the rest of the world. It’s
stupid, he’s stupid. He shouldn’t be this affected to Taehyung but the universe
always seems to have jokes to play on him. Because the caresses of Taehyung’s
long fingers through his hair, the softness of Taehyung’s breath tickling his
temple from where he rests his own head on the crown of Jeongguk’s head and the
calm beating of his heart that Jeongguk can feel from how close Taehyung’s
holding him to his body; they are all that Jeongguk can solely think of now.
Taehyung’s invading his entire senses in every way possible to the point
Jeongguk has no choice but pays attention only to him, remembers him alone and
likes him even more.
The other problems, anything that’s un-Taehyung, all fading into everything
insignificant as Jeongguk turns his head and buries his nose deep into
Taehyung’s neck, shutting his eyes to inhale his sweetness deeply.      
“You called me honey,” he mumbles against his skin, even nuzzling it because it
seems like the right thing to do. Taehyung smells good, Taehyung’s warm, and
his shoulder is comfortable. It’s all heaven.
Except that, his words stiffen Taehyung’s whole body, voice conscious when he
asks “Can’t I?”
It takes a second or two for him to detect the source of the senior’s slight
discomfort, too deep in his cloud nine of Taehyung’s heavenly embrace. Yet once
he does, Jeongguk snakes both arms around his waist and pulls him into a
tighter hug like it’s even possible at this point since there already not even
an atomic space for air to slip between them.
“You can, I love how it sounds,” Jeongguk assures him and only then, Taehyung
slumps against him, shuddering in apparent relief before he buries his nose
into Jeongguk’s hair. The junior greedily soaking up the affection, closes his
eyes as he prays for the ride to continue to an endless journey instead of
stopping somewhere.
“Can we just stay like this forever? I don’t wanna go home alone,” he whispers,
earning a heartwarming chuckle from Taehyung. He loves how deep it sounds.
“We can’t, honey. We have school exactly in two hours.”
Jeongguk grumbles, rubbing the tip of his nose to Taehyung’s soft earlobe that
causes the senior to giggle, cutely ticklish. He loves that, too. “Fuck school.
I don’t want school. I want you.”
Too little sleep but too much Taehyung makes him delirious enough to not
realize what he just said. The silence stretches between them until Taehyung
sighs and turns a bit to touch his mouth to his skin, feeling the feathery
brush of his lips as he speaks.
“You do know how to make me like you even more, don’t you?”
Jeongguk snaps open his eyes, remembering they still haven’t talked about the
unfinished confession, about them. Straightening his body, he keeps a
considerable space in between them but his hands remain clutching to Taehyung’s
waist, struggling to find the words with his reddening cheeks. “I mean—I don’t
mean to—”
“You don’t have to answer my feeling, you know.”
Jeongguk stops, doesn’t dare to even breathe. “But…Why?”
Taehyung smiles, thin but also completely honest as he reaches up to comb his
hand through Jeongguk’s fringes, a motion as soothing as his voice.
“Because I’m not asking. I only want you to know I’m here for you. My feeling
is for you, so you have the right to know about it. But it doesn’t mean you’re
obligated to return it. I don’t want my feeling to be a secret, that’s all.”
The blatant honesty brings an utter complication to Jeongguk’s heart. It’s
true, he hasn’t been living for so long to meet many people. But this is the
very first time he ever met someone being so open with his feelings while also
so willing to love without having expectation in return. It takes courage to
utter it out, yet someone needs even more of that to accept the consequence of
having that feeling. And Taehyung to him, is someone strong to have both.
Jeongguk feels the guilt folding in him ten times harder than before.
He wants so much to understand this ever growing attraction between them.
He wants to give Taehyung the answer he deserves.
But if he says yes, would this relationship work with his father together in
the picture?
If he says no, would Taehyung leave him like they didn’t feel anything for each
other at all?
Everything’s confusing. Too many questions, too little answers. At last, he
does no more than let Taehyung pull him back to his shoulder and rest there.
He wonders if he can just skip to the ending of their story to know whether can
he hold Taehyung’s hand without anything to stop them or should he let him go
now so none of them gets hurt once they’re there.
===============================================================================
 
Needless to say, Jeongguk isn’t having a particularly good time for the rest of
the day in school.
It’s PE class, his classmates alongside with another first year class are
filling the gym to change into their standard shorts and basketball tank top
for the activity. But with Taehyung and his father still cling to his mind,
shooting orange ball into a basket is the last thing Jeongguk would want to do.
So he takes his time, changing into the gym attire slowly and hanging his
school blazer properly into the locker, using the moment to consider his
problems when voices from a group of boys distract him.
“Dude, tell me. How can a guy be that pretty? Is he even real?”
“Yeah, I saw him out of PE class the other day. Fuck…you have no idea how much
I wanted to leave marks all over his sweaty neck,” flirty whistling follows
after the comment and Jeongguk rolls his eyes. Boys and their uncontrollable
hormones, typical.
“Yah, don’t be so cheap, bro,” comes another voice, different from the earlier
two. “You seriously want to fuck someone like Kim Taehyung?”
This, however, is untypical. Because it tells Jeongguk the subject of their
conversation, the person they’re talking about. And it floors him behind his
locker door since it’s Taehyung—the boy who invades his heart deeper than he
should—and their gossip clearly is nowhere near innocent.
“Why? What’s with him?” Already can Jeongguk tell, he won’t like where this is
going. “Well I don’t mind fucking him even if he’s a whore. He always looks so
fragile and fuckable. My dick can’t stand it.”
A burst of laughter. Something in Jeongguk begins to crack.
Someone adds once their laughter subsides, “sorry to break it to you, but
that’s exactly what I heard about him.”
“What? That he’s a whore?”
“Similar difference. Some seniors said he’s easy.” Jeongguk clenches his hands
into tight fists, disliking how their words make his ears burn.
“Wow, define easy,” requires another one.
“Dunno, man. The seniors said they saw Kim Taehyung a couple of times around
Gangnam, coming in and out of the biggest night club there. And they said he
looked…different.”
“Different…Wilder, bolder, sexier…” One of them drawls, dragging his tone to
sound sultry before they shout “fuckable!” in unison and break into disturbing
laughter.
That’s it. That’s his limit and everyone snaps to shut once Jeongguk slams
close the door of his locker, finally tilting his head to see five faces of
those dirty-minded douchebags.
Jeongguk walks over to them, noticing how they all straighten from slouching
against their respective locker just as he stops to climb his stern gaze up on
the one nearest to him.
“Name the seniors who said so to you,” Jeongguk demands, voice calm even when
the look in his eyes is enough to cause some of them to gulp and exchange
uncertain glances among them.
“Hey, Jeon. Didn’t know you’ve been listening…” One of them flashes him a grin
and steps closer to him, slipping his hands into the pockets of his shorts
before he throws Jeongguk a smirk. “Wanna join us? 30 000 Won for one bet.”
“On what?”
“On pretty Kim Taehyung, of course,” the boy winks, leaning forward as if to
whisper to him though he speaks just clearly for everybody to hear. “To see how
easy he is…”
Then they erupt into devilish laughter, finding such idea entertaining despite
the tasteless way Jeongguk is narrowing his eyes upon them. He nods his head,
taking one deep breath.
“Yeah, 30 000 won to see whether you’ll live long enough or not to do so after
this,” and his fist makes contact with the boy’s cheek a second after, cutting
their joy with surprised faces as that boy stumbles backward, barely holding
his own weight.
He hisses, glaring at Jeongguk with a hand covering his cheek. “Dude, what the
fuck! Chill, man…it’s just a jo—”
“Joke? Since when downgrading a human is a joke to anyone? Are you fucking
brainless?” Jeongguk shoots back and another boy steps in front of him, face
smug.
“And why are you so riled up? Is Taehyung your whore or something?”
“Get that fucking idea out of your head!” Jeongguk grabs him by the collar,
growling straight to his face. And when he tries to break free from him,
Jeongguk tightens his hold in warning, spreading his murderous stare to the
rest of them while he speaks firm and clear.
“No one, and I mean no onethinks of Taehyung that way! You will not find him,
speak, touch or even look at him. Don’t even breathe anywhere near him. All of
you. Understand?”
Everyone keeps silent, doesn’t dare to answer him from the fierceness showing
in every part of Jeongguk. He’s not sure why he’s so upset, mad even, knowing
Taehyung is treated this way. It’s not like what they’ve said is entirely
wrong.
Taehyung is, in a way, a hooker from a night club.
Yet the thought of people taking advantage on him pisses Jeongguk off to no
end.
Whatever he’s doing in the club is only his job.
The Taehyung he knows, the Taehyung he has come to slowly fall for is far from
all the improper impressions people have for him. And for that, Jeongguk
follows this urge to stand up for him, to protect him from getting hurt and to
lov—
“Yah, what are you all still doing there? Everyone, off to the court now!” The
shout from their teacher through the entrance of the locker room brings
Jeongguk back to focus on the boy still struggling in his hands and one of his
friends rushes to Jeongguk’s side.
“Let it go, dude. Come on—”
“Not until I make sure you totally understand what I’ve said,” Jeongguk forces,
shaking the boy in his grip who whines from the suffocation being pressured
around his throat. They all frantically nod, don’t want to be caught fighting
by the teacher as Jeongguk pushes the boy roughly away from him before they
scramble, leaving Jeongguk to calm himself alone.
“Why are you still standing there? Get into your team, Jeon.” His teacher
approaches him, appraising Jeongguk up and down as he struggles to loosen the
hardness in his face.
“Sorry, coach, but I’m not feeling well. Can you excuse me to infirmary?” He
doesn’t think he can get into the court without wanting to strangle the boys
just now to death, especially knowing they will be in the opposing team.
The teacher frowns at him. “You’re not trying to skip, are you Jeon?”
Jeongguk chuckles though he still feels bitter inside. “Come on, coach. You
know how I usually love basketball. I’m just…not into it today.”
The latter considers it for a minute before he lets out a sigh and nods his
approval to Jeongguk.
“Yeah, okay. Don’t collapse on the way.” Jeongguk smiles thankfully, giving him
a small bow as he moves out of the locker room. “Thanks, coach.”
Having nowhere else to spend the remaining time of his PE class, Jeongguk
decides to just follow his excuse and navigates his way to the school
infirmary. Only now once he’s out of his anger that he thinks of the
possibility for the boys just now to start interpreting his reaction, the way
he was so quick to lash out and land his punch on them just for the sake to
defend Taehyung. Boys or girls, he’s well-aware how highschoolers can never
shut their mouths from gossip, not to mention when it involves Jeongguk and
Taehyung who both have their own names and reputation around the school. That’s
just how shitty high school is, students get their noses into your business all
the time. They must already come out with 1999 versions of rumors on what
connection Jeongguk and Taehyung might have, whether or not they’re dating each
other or they simply are quick fling to one another judging from the ‘night
club boy’ image Taehyung’s carrying.
Still, they’re not Jeongguk’s main concern. Those douchebags can talk all they
want, Jeongguk won’t even give a fuck.
What he really gives too many fucks about are Taehyung’s feelings.
He doesn’t want Taehyung to hear a word from the ill conversation he caught
before. Jeongguk doesn’t even want Taehyung to know there are students who have
such sickening thoughts and intentions on him. Somehow, against all odds, he
never wants him to be hurt. 
He remembers how secretive the senior is about the life he has in the club, how
quick he was to agree on Jeongguk’s request to conceal it back when he first
met him in this school and knew how Jeongguk had seen him as V instead of just
the ordinary Kim Taehyung. He’s aware of the struggles Taehyung has been going
through with Mr. Kang just to make sure that man would reveal nothing regarding
him and the club to the school management. Only after knowing further about
him, Jeongguk understands his job as a hooker isn’t just for the sake of easy
and big money, it’s actually for something far more important than that.
Taehyung does it all for his siblings, his family. He sacrifices himself with
the only way he knows how and thus, working in the club.
Although Jeongguk knows it’s not the best choice, he doesn’t think Taehyung
deserve to be hurt because of it—because of the misconceptions people create
despite not knowing the truth about him.
And for all of this, Jeongguk feels complete devastation for himself.
Because he, of all people around Taehyung, is the last person who has the right
to protect him.
Especially when his biggest agenda in getting close to the senior was to break
him in the first place for involving himself with Jeongguk’s father.
But how does the reality turn out to be?
Taehyung went and told him what he had between his father and him wasn’t sex.
It was something else, something still unknown to Jeongguk.
And for that, he loses idea how to react.
He doesn’t know what his plan is anymore.
Jeongguk isn’t even sure of his own feelings.
Taehyung has made it clear that he likes him, and Jeongguk is free to leave his
feeling that way since Taehyung had said it’s not his obligation to return it.
Yet it feels wrong.
Very wrong.
He’s jealous over the idea of Taehyung being touched by other boys, he wants to
be around the senior all the time if possible, he feels the ever strong urge to
protect him from all the harm the world has to put on him and most of all, he
wants so bad for Taehyung to be happy. All of this is love right? It means he
likes Taehyung just as much as Taehyung feels for him…right?
But here comes the most difficult question; is it even right for him to feel
so?
Is it okay to like someone who’s destroying his family?
First thought: no, it is totally not okay.
Second thought: Taehyung can’t be considered destroying his family. Taehyung
doesn’t even know his father that way.
To him, Dr. Jeon is just a customer. Taehyung himself told him they never slept
together. His father paid him for something else. Jeongguk’s not sure whether
to believe him or not but he wants so much to do so since he wants to like
Taehyung without doubting him. Without feeling guilty to his mother.
Like she told him, good people could make bad decisions.
Thinking back to his initial intention on Taehyung, Jeongguk feels kinda stupid
too. He made bad decision as well. He’s not a bad guy. He simply wanted justice
for his mother so he approached Taehyung. Yet the senior has been so different
from all the bad perceptions he always has for a hooker like him. Living that
way is Taehyung’s choice but not everyone is lucky to live a better life, or
even has a better choice. And Jeongguk thinks as a human being who’s willing to
do everything (including paying the revenge on Taehyung) for his mother, he can
understand Taehyung’s situation and desperation. He can understand why
Taehyung’s willing to receive payment in every form possible just to survive.
They both only wanted to do things right for their life and when they made bad
decisions, that didn’t mean they’re bad people.
Taehyung and him, they both have good intentions with bad decisions. In a
twisted way, they’re oddly similar.
Finally figuring out this formula, Jeongguk knows it isn’t wrong for him to
return his feeling. Yes, their future can be scary and he has no clue how far
things can go wrong after this, what with him still doesn’t know what’s going
on between Dr. Jeon and Taehyung, but he can try.
He wants to try.
He wants to tell Taehyung that if he’s holding Taehyung’s heart in his hands,
then the senior needs to know Jeongguk’s ready to hand over his to him as well
because, yes, absolutely, he likes him too.
And Jeongguk prays this time, liking Taehyung wouldn’t be a bad decision for
him.
===============================================================================
 
He arrives at the infirmary with lighter heart, planning to do nothing but
sleep as soon as he finds out the place is empty. The nurse on duty is nowhere
to be seen, which just adds the advantage to him since he needs not to give her
any health excuses. So he goes straight to the bed, stepping behind the white
curtains to claim his place only to find out there’s another student already
lying there.
Jeongguk clicks his tongue. Way to ruin his perfect nap time.
He considers chasing the male student away, but he also doesn’t want to be a
jerk in case the other truly is sick and needs his rest. He settles with using
a chair placed by the bed as a substitution, walking around the side of bed
where the lying boy is facing to reach out for it and unintentionally see his
sleeping face.
His eyes instantly widen, forgetting all the intention to sleep once he
realizes the one on the bed is Taehyung. His Taehyung.
Jeongguk is by his side in a second, rocking Taehyung by his shoulder gently as
he tries to wake him and feeling the slight tremble to his hand when he cups
Taehyung’s cheek in high alarm. All the bizarre thoughts coming in a rush
because why is Taehyung in the infirmary’s bed?
“Yah, Kim Taehyung. Why are you alone here? Are you sleeping or are you
fainted?” Jeongguk speaks close to his face, not once stopping his gentle pats
to his cheek to test whether he’s sleeping or truly sick. After a few attempts
and Taehyung still gives no reaction, lying motionless there, Jeongguk begins
to freak out. “Yah, wake up! Can you hear me? Taehyung-ah, don’t scare me like
this!”
He’s pretty much sure Taehyung isn’t having any cold since his temperature is
fine when Jeongguk places a palm on his forehead. His eyes roam to find any
part of his body that might get hurt but there’s also none. He wants to check
for his impulses, yet he suddenly forgets all the counting he should do once he
touches Taehyung’s inner wrist due to the panic steadily rising in him. He
moves to feel the blow of his breath, putting a finger under Taehyung’s nose
only to splutter when he feels nothing, no warm breathing there.
“Why—why aren’t you breathing?! Oh my God, I swear you were breathing just now!
I—what should I do?” Jeongguk glances through the curtains to where the nurse
should be there but it seems luck isn’t on his side today. She’s not there yet
and Jeongguk still isn’t sure of what’s happening to Taehyung.
He almost sobs as he stares back down to the senior, now holding Taehyung’s
small face in both of his hands as he pleads harder. “Taehyung, please, this is
not funny! I—I don’t know what to do…What should I do? I—”
He cuts himself to catch his own breath, feeling his own chest gradually
tightening. Jeongguk rests his forehead against Taehyung’s, praying the senior
would open his eyes soon.
“I cannot lose you, Taehyung,” he whispers against Taehyung’s immobile form.
“Please, I—I haven’t told you my feeling yet. Please wake up. God, Taehyung. I
like you too. I really, really like you too! And I want to be with you, so
don’t leave me alone!”
No answer, no movement. Jeongguk is so close to drop a tear. He needs to find a
help but he also can’t leave Taehyung alone.
“Please, please wake up…My mom alone is enough, I can’t risk having anyone else
falling sick around me, please…”
And amidst his panicking, Jeongguk feels a soft brush of long eyelashes against
his own skin. He opens his sight to Taehyung’s big, brown eyes staring deep
into his. Feels his tender breathing on his face from their close proximity and
notices how Taehyung’s breathing just fine, the calm ups and downs of his own
chest under Jeongguk.
Next, he’s smiling. Just a thin one on his pretty pink lips that also looks so
cheeky. Jeongguk freezes when Taehyung nuzzles his nose to Jeongguk’s own,
totally forgets to even blink his eyes.
“If this is the way to know your true feelings, I’m okay with pretending to
faint again, you know,” Taehyung murmurs, giggling before he circles his arms
around Jeongguk’s neck and pulls him all that closer down to him until he can
spill his words straight onto Jeongguk’s lips.
“But yeah, I like you too. So can I kiss you now that we both know how we feel
about each other?”
Jeongguk’s slow. Slow in processing Taehyung’s words. Slower in reacting to it.
But once he does realize he’s being pranked, he groans and pulls himself free
from Taehyung’s embrace to climb straight into the bed just so he could shove
the senior out of it.
“You little shit, let me give you real pain—”
“Jeongguk!”
Taehyung bursts out laughing despite being wrestled down to the bed while
Jeongguk tries to snake his arms around his waist to pick Taehyung up and throw
him down the bed for scaring him that way. Taehyung squirms harder beneath him,
trashing his legs around as he attempts to break free. “Oh my God, I’m just
kidding! I’m sorry! I was just sleeping!”
Halfway his muffled laughter and Jeongguk’s strategy of rolling Taehyung into a
sheet burrito, the slide coming from the door shuts them both as they listen to
footsteps of the possible nurse walking closer to the bed.
“Kim Taehyung? Are you still in there?”
They scramble in unison. Taehyung pushing Jeongguk under the sheet before he
rolls on top of him, lying on his side as if he’s alone there even when he can
feel how close Jeongguk’s pressed against him, his ticklish exhales somewhere
down on his chest almost distracting him out of focus yet Taehyung swallows it
away and arranges his face to look normal. At least. 
“Uh, yeah?” He finally answers but Jeongguk giggles under the sheet, able to
hear how unsure Taehyung is. Taehyung knees his thigh.
There’s a grunt.
Taehyung stills and the nurse pokes her head in from behind the curtain,
frowning over at Taehyung and his…suddenly way too big and thick body.
“Are you okay? Need help with anything?”
Taehyung flashes her a grin. “Uhh, no! I am totally fine, in here, actually…”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, of course, why?” He puts on an innocent look, drawing the sheet higher
to his chin.
The nurse makes a confused face, racking curious eyes all along his body.
“Nothing, because I thought I heard something…”
“Something…Something what?”
Of course, being the usual pain in the ass he is, Jeongguk decides it’s a good
time to press his face deeper into Taehyung’s chest and litter small, subtle
kisses there. Licks the smooth skin even as he travels higher to his exposed
neck, almost sticking his head out of the sheet. Taehyung shivers hard, not
expecting it, and he clamps Jeongguk firmer between his legs to prevent the
nurse from noticing any movement under the white sheet. He can feel Jeongguk’s
lips gluing smile somewhere on his collarbone, the fucker.
“There’s nothing here…just—just me, haha.”
She doesn’t look convinced of his weak reply.
“Okay, but why is your face so red? Is your body temperature—” Taehyung shakes
his head rapidly to stop her from stepping any closer to him.
“No! No, no, no…My body’s fine. I’m fine. Maybe I just need some water? Can you
perhaps, help me get some drinks?” She blinks, pausing at Taehyung’s sudden
raised tone.
“Yeah, sure,” she agrees at last, Taehyung almost weeps into the pillow as she
turns back to go and get him the drink. “You wait here, okay?”
“Okay! I’ll be right here,” Taehyung makes sure to keep his smile wide till the
last moment she closes the door before he throws the sheet a glare and proceeds
to kick out the monster under it.
“Ouch!” Jeongguk yells once his butt thumps against the floor, growling back at
Taehyung only to crawl away when he sees a pillow is flying at him.
“You shouldn’t do that to me!”
Jeongguk’s up and running around the infirmary as Taehyung dashes after him,
not yet finish tormenting him with the dangerous pillow.
“Well you shouldn’t pretend like that! I was dead worried!” Jeongguk shouts
back as they circle again and again around the nurse’s office table, still
bitter at how Taehyung managed to trick him. The senior barks out a laugh.
“Well why do you bitch ‘bout it, Jeon? You cute! I don’t care! Tell me you like
me once more!”
“In your fucking dream, Kim!”
Jeongguk slips away one more time from Taehyung grabby hands before they catch
the sight of the school’s headmaster passing right in front of the infirmary’s
glassy door and they both once again dive down to hide, this time under the
table.
Jeongguk and Taehyung are useless, not at all realizing they are high school
students instead of kindergarten kids as they fold their tall bodies as much as
they can to fit underneath the small space, staring at each other with thrill
apparent in their eyes. Then they listen, Taehyung biting his lips to suppress
his giggle while Jeongguk places his index finger against his lips, warning the
senior to keep quiet when there’s someone pulling open the door and the raspy
voice of their headmaster clearing his throat resonates through the place.
The old man checks one last time, asking if there’s somebody in the infirmary.
When no answer comes, they hear the door is being closed again and the stupid
duo sag in relief, leaning against the table as they just stare at each other
and think of the childish, mindless thing they’re doing now.
They can’t help it, roaring into laughter together the next second, not caring
if they’re calling the headmaster back to the infirmary this time. Jeongguk
laughs until his eyes crinkle and his bunny teeth sticking out. Taehyung laughs
until his boxy grin is completely on show and the corners of his eyes are
filled with tiny tears.
Eventually they get tired, coming to a stop where they simply exchange fond
smiles to one another. Something slips in the air, thicker than ever, and
Jeongguk leans forward to Taehyung to whisper to him.
“Hey, Kim. I have a secret to tell you.”
“What is it Jeon?” Taehyung matches his mysterious tone, replying in hushed
voice.
Jeongguk stares some more before, “I like you for real. Let’s be together in
this shitty world.”
It’s no secret at all this time. Clear, raw and uttered so surely to Taehyung
that it takes him a couple of seconds to respond. He smiles so beautifully when
he does, eyes glassy not from laughing hard but from the sincere happiness he
feels, matching just perfect with how Jeongguk feels in his heart at the
moment.
“I like you for real, too. You suck the least in this shitty world.”
Jeongguk laughs, finding it so easy to fall for Taehyung even with his simple
words. “Then watch me change your mind. I’ll be the only person who’s not suck
at all in this shitty world.”
“Okay,” Taehyung brings his arms up around his neck, pulling him closer until
their foreheads touch. “Challenge accepted, honey.”
Jeongguk shuts his eyes close at that deep baritone, shuddering while he pulls
Taehyung to him by his waist, until closer becomes closest. Until he can
whisper against the senior’s lips. “Call me that again.”
“Honey…,” Taehyung indulges him, calling quietly as he nuzzles his nose to
Jeongguk, enjoying how Jeongguk fists his fingers into his uniform shirt each
time that word breathes past through his mouth. “Jeongguk, my honey. My least
shitty honey. My bunny honey. My daredevil honey. My—”
Jeongguk cuts him off with a groan that turns into noisy kisses once he
finally, finally, covers Taehyung’s mouth with his own, stealing his breath
with deep kisses before he hisses with Taehyung’s bottom lip stuck between his
teeth.
“You gotta stop doing that, Tae. I have only one heart to survive in this.”
Jeongguk opens his eyes to pull back but Taehyung chases after him, carding his
fingers through the hair at his nape and keeping Jeongguk connected to his lips
like a happy, lovesick boyfriend. Jeongguk’s happy, lovesick boyfriend.
“I just accepted your challenge. No backing out now, honey,” and they probably
should stop talking into each other’s mouth, or at least stop long enough to
get out from under that sad table but none of them pays a mind.
“Lazy,” comes Jeongguk’s smart remark. “I’ll come up with a plan to beat you
later, just come here and kiss me now.”  
As if they aren’t already kissing. Taehyung can only let out a soft chuckle,
stroking Jeongguk’s cheek with his thumb to allow the fact that this handsome
boy is now his official boyfriend to sink in deeper into his heart before he
presses his body straight up to Jeongguk, climbing as much as he can into his
lap within the tight space to reach his lips closer and lick into his mouth
deeper all he can taste is Jeongguk alone.
And Jeongguk?
He finds the answer why he can’t quite hate Taehyung from the very start.
It’s because he didn’t mean to hate him. He means to love him, slowly but
surely.
===============================================================================
 
One of the biggest annual dance competitions is fast approaching in only just
fortnight away from the actual event and this only means one thing for Jeongguk
and the rest of his dance club members—nonstop grueling practices throughout
the nights. This year they take it to Jeju Island, having the tournament there
and despite the comments about exhaustion from some of the members due to the
tough preparation their leader, Jung Hoseok is putting them in, none of them
loses the excitement and pumping energy in knowing they get to kill two birds
with one stone. They get to unwind around the island aside from coming for the
competition so rest assured, the whole team already too hype for their journey.
And in term of possibility to win the competition, again, this year, Jeongguk
has faith in everyone. They might not be able to stay conquering the first
place—as their other opponents are no less powerful—but Jeongguk’s sure they
can make it somewhere on the top three. Not to mention they have one new secret
weapon this year. Park Jimin. Despite not being the official club member, Jimin
shines brighter than the rest in showing off his talents and helping Hoseok
along with their instructors in creating their choreography. He still acts like
Jeongguk is a pest in his life, throwing banter here and there with the
younger, but he’s never rude. Always grinning so wide to the members, always
offering help without needing the others to ask for it and of course, always
sneaking adoring glances to Hoseok whenever he thinks no one is looking.
He thinks no one sees him. But Jeongguk also happens to always see everything,
which means he’s the first to take notice how Jimin makes it habit to stare
longer than necessary at Hoseok over the weeks spent practicing together. And
don’t even let him start with cute, shy messages keep on being exchanged
between the two in their Gay Asses group chat. Jeongguk and Taehyung have once
talked about it. Taehyung said he doesn’t mind it if Jeongguk’s dance senior is
the one adored by Jimin. Hoseok isn’t someone to worry about, especially since
he’s the type of guy with excessive flashy emojis in the chat and practically
farting sunshines through his ass. Jeongguk had frowned over that metaphor
Taehyung used but his boyfriend simply chuckled and leaned in to peck him on
the cheek, saying he’s no poet so it’s close enough to represent Hoseok. Well,
being the ultimate whipped boy for everything Taehyung, Jeongguk couldn’t agree
more.
Just like now, when Hoseok at last announces the end of their practice tonight
and Jeongguk dives straight for his phone to reply on text messages from
Taehyung when he glances around and sees Jimin’s eyes already following Hoseok.
He tries not to break into a teasing smile upon watching how Jimin subtly
drinks from his bottle with eyes training over to their leader through the edge
of that innocent bottle. Usually his gaze is dreamy, not at all hiding how
entranced he is to Hoseok’s smile but tonight his eyes look wary, conscious
even and it may due to presence of a young lady tonight in their studio.
Jeongguk trails after Jimin’s line of sight, sure enough landing his eyes upon
Hoseok and that girl he’s currently laughing with. He also gets the feeling
that somehow, their usual dragged-out practices ended a bit earlier tonight has
something to do with her, how merry she was when she greeted Hoseok a few hours
prior when she first arrived here. Jeongguk knows the girl, she’s not someone
new to the rest of the club members. Yet to Jimin, who doesn’t expect her visit
here tonight and potentially see her as a threat to…whatever there is going on
between Hoseok and him, Jeongguk can understand why Jimin’s been so on guard
throughout the practice.
Wanting to put a stop to his agony regardless of him feeling funny over the
situation, Jeongguk crawls closer to where Jimin’s sitting and gives him a
meaningful smile once the elder frowns at him.   
“That’s Naeun, same age as Hobi hyung. She’s the younger sister from one of our
dance instructors.” Jeongguk starts to explain, pointing his chin towards
Hoseok and the girl. “She’s always around, supporting our team and helping us
whenever we need extra hands. She’s a good friend to hyung but they’re just
that, friends.”
Jimin’s quiet while listening to him, eyes never leave the seemingly cheerful
conversation between the two before he sighs.
Jeongguk adds, “You have nothing to worry about her.”
Jimin makes a face, finally turning to look at him.
“I’m not sure what you blabber about. I’m just wondering who you guys would
bring along for this competition to be our photographer.” Jeongguk almost
laughs at his weak excuse. He shrugs anyway, seeing the opportunity to tease
him and taking it without hesitation. “I don’t know. Maybe hyung would ask for
Naeun’s help again, bringing her with us.”
Jimin visibly tenses at this and Jeongguk can’t help the crackle of laughter
popping out from him, shaking his head once Jimin directs his cold stare on
him.
“Kidding. Keep that murderous look away from me.”
“I’m not—”
“I’m planning to bring Tae actually,” he informs immediately to not further
annoy the best friend of his boyfriend. This is true, though. He is to ask
Taehyung to come along with him to Jeju if there’s nothing else would come up
in Taehyung’s schedule. Who would want to pass on island date right? Not him
and Taehyung for sure.
He looks back down to the wallpaper of his phone, staring upon their latest
selca taken a few days prior in school library where Taehyung came to revise
his upcoming test while Jeongguk came to, well, drown himself in Taehyung’s
affection. It turned out to be 60% kissing and snuggling with 40% studying but
Jeongguk has no regret.
It must the unconscious stupidious smile appearing on his face but then, Jimin
says, “I know you’re together with him.”
The quiet but flat tone brings Jeongguk his turn to tense this time, slowly
climbing his gaze up to Jimin. He’s conscious of everything all of a sudden.
“You don’t mind it right? I get it I’m not your favorite…yet.”
Jimin snorts, hearing the uncertainty from him. “True. But I also don’t mind
Tae being happy. He totally deserves that.”
Jeongguk’s about to exhale in relief when he’s quick to add “Just don’t break
his heart if you ever want to live long.”
He chuckles at this, catching the playful glint in the elder’s eyes yet he
knows Jimin takes his warning seriously. Not that he’s planning on breaking
Taehyung’s heart. His plan has totally changed now. Jimin needs not to say it
to him, Jeongguk already makes the promise to himself.
He then smiles once Jimin shifts his stare back at Hoseok.
“You deserve it too.”
“What?”
“Being with Hoseok hyung.”
There’s a short silence, Jimin avoiding his gaze before he sighs and shakes his
head, curving one sad smile for Jeongguk.
“It’s just a stupid crush. I’ll get over it.”
“Well ask Hobie hyung that,” Jeongguk raises his eyebrow to the leader’s
direction. “I don’t think he wants you to get over him.”
Jimin looks up with a surprised face. “What do you mean—”
“Hey guys!” A bouncy Hoseok cuts them off, directing both Jimin and Jeongguk’s
attention to where he comes waving at them, his usual Puma sports bag in a hand
and Naeun following in tow. “Since practice is over, me and Naeunie want to
catch a drink together. Wanna come with us?”
Hoseok is as always, offering them with big smile and good intention but what
gives Jimin and Jeongguk the resolute decision is the way that girl behind him
is looking back and forth from Hoseok to them, eyebrows knitted together and
face screams nothing but ‘don’t-anyone-dare-third-wheeling-between-us’. And
Jeongguk’s not stupid, nor does he have any interest in going for a drink when
he can just get home and be on lovey-dovey call with Taehyung so he poses a
polite smile and shakes his head.
“Nah, I’ll pass.”
“Me too,” Jimin’s voice is too small, almost inaudible.
Somehow, Hoseok looks disappointed for a second. But it appears like a flash,
too fast to be clearly noticed and too slow to be seen by the right one.
Because Jimin already looks down to his lap. Jeongguk internally rolls his
eyes.
“Alright then. We’ll just…get going first, yeah.” Jeongguk grins despite seeing
how forceful Jimin brings his hand up to wave them goodbye but Hoseok steps
away in reverse, eyes never once leave Jimin. “Bye!”
Just when Jimin’s ready to flatten his face back to his sadness, the leader
spines again to them and Jimin flashes a grin—too wide to be natural.
“Oh hey, Jiminie?” The younger hums, hopeful. “Get home safely, okay?”
They stare upon each other and Jeongguk wonders why love always has the damn
power to make everyone look stupid.
“Okay…”
Then they watch as Hoseok and Naeun go, getting smaller and smaller before they
disappear behind the wall to the exit of the studio.
“He’s so…dense. He didn’t even realize the girl was trying to win a date with
him,” Jimin comments at last.
“Yeah, he’s dense. That’s why you need to make a move to make him realize he
likes you too.” Jeongguk states easily only for Jimin to throw him a glare.
“He doesn’t like me!”
“Think as you please,” the younger shrugs. “But it’s very rare for Hobi hyung
to walk a dance member home after every each practice. He’s usually too tired
for that.”
This is another thing he has come to realize after the period of Jimin knowing
Hoseok. The leader makes it routine to be the last one leaving the studio after
every practice night but ever since he gets to know Jimin, he doesn’t wait to
lock the place. If Jimin wants to go back on time, then he will leave the key
either to Jeongguk or Yugyeom just to walk together with the younger. It
becomes a habit so obvious to everyone except to the very two people involved.
“You’re wrong. He just wished me to get home safely. But that’s because he’s
naturally kind,” Jimin remains in denial. “And he left to have drinks with
her!”
Jeongguk is about to open his mouth to state how stupid he is to think of that
but a sudden ding from their phones switch their attention and they both check
on it to see a new message pops out in Gay Asses.
 
Group: Gay Asses
Hobi hyungie: Jiminie, if u decide to stay back for extra practice, tell me!
I’ll come back & escort u home as usual
It’s followed with three laughing-crying emojis and another extra four blinking
pink hearts.
Baby Taetae: ??? don’t you two always go back together???
Hobi hyungie: I’m going out with a fren. Asked Gukkie and him to tag along but
they chose to let me go alone TT_TT
 
Jeongguk smirks at how even his sweetheart can smell something fishy is
happening though he’s not here to see who that friend of Hoseok is.
“Told you it’s rare,” Jeongguk looks back up at a frowning Jimin, hands
absentmindedly playing with his phone. “He could have just left why would he
come back?”
Another ding.
 
Hobi hyungie: YAH PARK JIMIN DON’T JUST LEAVE ME ON READ!!! REPLY SOMETHING!
Baby Taetae: hahahahahaha. Jeonggukie just scrolled over this group too. Get
home safely honey!!! XOXO
Hobi hyungie: keep ur disgusting sext on pm pleaseuu
Baby Taetae: Its not even rated! Love you so so much GUkkie!!! Reply to me!
 
Jimin gives his phone a tasteless look. “Haha. You guys are funny.”
“Yeah, so funny,” to which Jeongguk can only giggle.
===============================================================================
 
On nights when he’s free from dance practices, Jeongguk finds himself driven
even stronger in his desire to meet Taehyung. He’s eternally grateful Hoseok
decides their night off would be on Thursday because it’s one of the week days
which Taehyung will only do bartender job in the club. It also gives him
advantage in fulfilling his urge to meet the senior since he won’t be working
for the entire night, he works only by shift. And Jeongguk knows his time
waiting for Taehyung worth it once he catches sight of his boyfriend stepping
out through the back door of the club and carrying two huge bags of trashes
straight to a trash bin nearby.
His heart melts seeing him, can practically feel Taehyung’s exhaustion from the
slouch in his posture and slight exhales as he dumps the bags in there, untying
the black apron from around his waist before he drags his feet back to where he
came from. That’s the moment he looks over and something flutters madly in
Jeongguk’s chest at how the tiredness instantly melts away from Taehyung’s face
as he comes to recognize him.
“Jeonggukie?” His voice is full of happy wonderment, to which Jeongguk spreads
his arms wide open, welcoming Taehyung to him with a fond grin.
“Jeongguk-ah!” The butterflies in Jeongguk’s stomach obviously do not know how
to shut themselves up since they make every single cell in him transforming
into a pile of goos when Taehyung runs over and ready to throw himself at him
before he comes to a screeching stop and Jeongguk frowns, arms still waiting.
“Ah, wait…” he contemplates to accept his hug, peering down at his white
uniform and sniffing the scent of alcohol and sweat from hours serving the club
inside. Taehyung merely smiles at him, shyly lowering his hands down. “Maybe
later.”
But Jeongguk isn’t having any of it. Taehyung’s refusal and hesitation only
serve him to take a step closer and pull the senior straight into his arms,
tightening his hold when Taehyung freezes for a second, conscious of his
current looks. Yet to Jeongguk, all he knows is he needs to have Taehyung in
his arms, engulfing him in every way possible so he does, pressing his nose to
Taehyung’s soft hair and whispering into his ears.
“You smell amazing, Tae. No worries.”
The senior sags against him, finally returning his embrace by locking his arms
around Jeongguk’s waist before he feels a press of lips to the side of his neck
and Jeongguk doesn’t stop his lips from curving up.
“Why are you here?”
They continue holding each other, ignoring the looks being thrown at them from
the passersby.
“No reason. I just want to see you,” Jeongguk drawls lazily, eyes remain shut.
“Well I missed you too,” Taehyung replies to the in-line meaning behind his
action, squeezing Jeongguk one last time before he pulls back to grin at him.
Jeongguk adores that boxy smile but refrains himself from kissing him silly
there and then. “My shift has over, I can change clothes and then maybe, you
wanna go for ice cream at Mcd down there?”
“Hmm,” Jeongguk pretends to think, grinning as well. “Ice cream sounds nice.
But how about a sleepover at my place?”
Taehyung’s eyes enlarging at this. “Your place?”
“Yeah, do you wanna come over for a night? Perhaps you can bring along your
uniform too. We can go to school together tomorrow.”
In fact, Jeongguk has been thinking of extending this invitation to Taehyung
for quite sometimes. He considered whether or not it would be safe to bring
Taehyung’s over to his personal apartment despite it having nothing to do with
his father’s penthouse. Jeongguk won’t stay there if his mom isn’t around, and
since Mrs. Jeon’s back again staying in hospital, Jeongguk figures sleeping
alone in his apartment makes him too lonely. He’s used to it, yes. But he also
wants to let Taehyung see another part of his life. For that, he wants to risk
this. To see how far their relationship can grow, to give this little chance
for privacy to both of them.
When Taehyung stays silent longer than he expected, Jeongguk quickly splutters.
“If—if that’s not bothering you, of course.”
Taehyung smiles, expression soft as if he understands Jeongguk’s own
insecurity. He leans forward to drop a kiss by a corner of Jeongguk’s lips.
“Why would it bother me? If anything, it’s me who doesn’t want to bother you at
your home.”
“I won’t be here to offer you if it’s an issue for me, right?” Jeongguk asks
back, pinky reaching out to link into one with Taehyung’s. “Besides, I wanna be
with you. So I will.”
“Right…I wanna be with you too.” The senior smiles down at it, swinging their
pinkies into motion.
“Good,” Jeongguk uses his free hand to hold Taehyung’s cheek in place and kiss
him, right on the mouth this time. “Then go grab your stuff, silly. I’ll be
waiting here.”
Taehyung pecks him once more before stepping away. “Okay, honey!”
===============================================================================
 
Jeongguk won’t consider his apartment as a place so special neither would he
think it looks anywhere near aesthetically pleasing since to him, it’s just a
simple space for sleeping and having shelter every now and then whenever his
mother isn’t at the penthouse.
To Taehyung, however, his apartment seems like a whole new world—a place so
bizarre and adventurous to be explored from the moment he steps inside and gets
mesmerized by everything. His gaming equipment, his huge flat screen, his home
stereo, his massive couch set, his endless camera collection and even his
supposedly small and ordinary kitchen are all that cause Taehyung’s jaw to
almost drop to the ceramic floor. Jeongguk can only watch his boyfriend fondly,
understanding how Taehyung doesn’t get to taste all of this without hard
earning but he can now, he has Jeongguk with him and he’s going to offer and
share all of him to Taehyung if that’s what makes the senior happy.
That’s why he reaches for his hands, stopping Taehyung from roaming his eyes
excitedly around the house until the senior grins at him and Jeongguk smiles,
lifting Taehyung’s hands up to his mouth and littering kisses over his knuckles
as he promises, “We’ll have a home date another day, yeah? You can use whatever
things you want to try out, okay?”
Taehyung beams, grinning so wide yet thankful at him before he catches sight of
a tall shelf placed at one corner and walks over to it. It’s where Jeongguk
arranged all his dance trophies and a few photo frames. Only in that second he
realizes, Taehyung’s about to have a look on them including his family photo.
And Jeongguk’s not ready for Taehyung to find out about Dr. Jeon.
Not now.
Not in this way.
So he shouts, a bit louder than necessary it stops Taehyung from picking up one
of the trophies. “I—I have something to show you!”
“What?” His boyfriend frowns at him.
“Em…I have an—an Ipad. One that I rarely use, but I heard the art students tend
to use it for digital drawing so do you want to take a look at it?”
Taehyung lightens up hearing this, chirping a cheerful “of course!” as he puts
the trophy down and follows Jeongguk to his bedroom. He’s so relief that once
Taehyung’s too absorbed in sketching using the Ipad, Jeongguk rushes over to
the shelf and removes that frame of his family photo. He feels bad for doing
this, for hiding things from Taehyung. Jeongguk promises himself it’s just for
now, he’ll find out more about Dr. Jeon’s connection to his boyfriend and he’ll
eventually tell him that despite every unthinkable relation they all have,
Jeongguk believes they can make things right. He wants to choose a good
decision now, for everyone.
Jeongguk asks him where do they want to sit to study for their test tomorrow
and Taehyung deems sprawling out on the gigantic, fluffy couch in the living
room with quite a big coffee table to match it is more than comfortable for
them. Jeongguk agrees, joining Taehyung to proceed with his revision. Only that
it’s getting hard to concentrate when Taehyung takes out his thin, round
glasses and wears it. He looks so cute with every stolen glance as Jeongguk
watches him from the opposite side of the table, Taehyung frowning hard upon
his reading material and trying his best to memorize them but the quiet, small
mumbles of his lips are all that Jeongguk can see. It takes the entire
willpower in him to prevent from throwing his textbook out of the nearest
window for the sake of pulling Taehyung onto his lap. At some points between
studying and controlling his desire for Taehyung, Jeongguk gets hungry.
He announces this to his boyfriend, hoping for Taehyung to make him even just a
hot coffee but the senior doesn’t even look up from his book. He replies
Jeongguk with a simple “that’s your kitchen, not mine.”
Jeongguk clicks his tongue. “But you’re a bartender. You make drinks for
people.”
“And I’m also your guest. Where’s your manner?”
Upon the arched of Taehyung’s deadly eyebrow, Jeongguk surrenders and gets to
his feet to find something for his unhelpful stomach in the kitchen. He
blabbers all the way there.
“This is not about manner, this is about wanting to enjoy the love of your
boyfriend through his handmade drink.”
He hears Taehyung’s deep but soothing chuckle from behind the wall of his
kitchen.
“Yeah, I happen to love your lazy ass too. Happy?” Jeongguk grins like an
idiot, partly giddy and partly thankful Taehyung couldn’t see his face now.
“Very,” he hollers back and the house resonates with their shared laughter.
Jeongguk knows his stomach the best. It won’t settle just for a drink so he
goes straight to rummage through his cabinet for any possible ramen he could
cook when he feels a heat of someone’s presence behind him and next, Taehyung’s
arms encircling his waist. He slots his face in the curve of Jeongguk’s
collarbone, close enough for him to kiss the side of his neck before Taehyung
joins him picking out the ramen and he points on one.
“I wanna eat that.”
“This?” It’s Tom Yam flavored.
“But spicy chicken would taste nicer,” Taehyung takes out another one.
Jeongguk’s about to agree on it but then, “no, wait. Let’s cook the kimchi
flavored one. It’s my favorite.”
Jeongguk patiently puts down the chicken flavored bowl to pick up the one
mentioned by Taehyung only for his boyfriend to, again, take out another
different ramen.
“Or maybe we can try this out? Chicken curry?” He reads the instruction behind
the packet before shrugging. “Nah, let’s eat them all!”
Jeongguk sighs at his indecisive sweetheart, turning to nuzzle the top of his
head. “Baby, you do realize we have to choose only one right?”
Taehyung pouts, knowing too well Jeongguk won’t win against that. “No fun, why
choose when we can eat all?”
“How?”
“Get me a pail.”
Taehyung lets him go and Jeongguk turns to give him a weird look.
“A what? Pail? Are you serious?”
Taehyung replies him a roll of eyes. “Do you want me to feed you or not? Stop
asking.”
And a pail it is. A moment later, the mixed up ramens are cooked and both
Jeongguk and Taehyung are sitting randomly on the floor of the kitchen, a pail
filled to the rim with combination of the ramens is in between them and
Jeongguk watches Taehyung scoop out the ramen into his own bowl with suspicion
to how would this taste. But Taehyung made it for him, he would be damned if
he’s to deny this so Jeongguk swallows his suspicion alongside with the ramen
and takes his time to chew, to truly taste the blend of the multi-flavored
soup.
“I never ate ramen this way. It’s quite delicious,” he comments at last, happy
to see the satisfied smile on Taehyung’s face as he scoops more into his bowl.
“I ate it this way all the time when I was still in the orphanage. There were a
bunch of kids in the dorm so we did it this way, it was easier.”
Taehyung’s voice is light while he tells him this, not at all showing any
discomfort in sharing that piece of information with Jeongguk. It’s the junior
who slows down in chewing, thoughts straying to a gloomier part of his life as
he thinks of the huge differences between them in their respective life.
“You don’t have to pity me. It’s only my life, I have nothing to shame of,” his
boyfriend suddenly adds once the silence between them stretches. Jeongguk
shakes his head.
“That’s not what I’m thinking. I just think, maybe, I should tell you about my
family too. Since you barely know about them when I’ve known about yours.”
It’s Taehyung’s turn to stop chewing, studying the way Jeongguk looks at him,
the tightness in his facial and at last, he assures him with a smile.
 “Okay. You can tell me anything about them after this. Let’s enjoy this first,
yeah?” Just like that, the atmosphere switches back to normal, no lingering
sadness as playfulness takes over the moment Jeongguk catches Taehyung popping
a piece of kimchi into his mouth.
“Hey that’s the last kimchi! I wanted it, how dare you have it first?” Jeongguk
whines, stirring his chopsticks into the pail to search for another. He finds
none and Taehyung winks.
“Your loss! I saw it first so it’s mine.”
“But I always get kimchi whenever I eat that flavor. My mom gives it all to
me!”
“You’re a spoiled brat! I won’t give this last one to you!” And Taehyung slurps
another string of kimchi from his bowl, causing Jeongguk to widen his eyes as
if he utterly betrayed.
“What, you got another one?!”
“You want it? Shame, it’s already all the way down here,” Taehyung pats his
flat tummy. “Come and get it if you want.”
“Oh you don’t play dare with me, baby.”
And Taehyung shrieks into laughter when Jeongguk out of sudden places down his
bowl to crawl over to Taehyung’s side and flatten the senior to the floor. He
mischievously leans down to bite his soft stomach, causing Taehyung to squirm
before he nuzzles it to prompt the most beautiful giggle from Taehyung.
Jeongguk is playful in every chance he gets, so even when Taehyung pushes
against his shoulders to make Jeongguk release him, the junior lifts his shirt
instead and smooches the smooth skin with short, little kisses, enjoying how
Taehyung goes from pushing him away to burying his fingers into his hair, eyes
close to savor the gentle sensation.
“Hmm, I prefer this over kimchi honestly,” Jeongguk drops his words coyly upon
every inch of Taehyung’s tummy, feeling the breathing of the boy beneath him
quickening from the rise and fall of his chest and of course, when Jeongguk
glances up, Taehyung’s red in the face.
He loves this.
He loves working Taehyung up to excitement, thrills to see where else could he
touch to bloom such pretty pink blush on Taehyung’s cheeks. So he trails his
kisses higher, kissing his way up to his chest and is about to have a nipple
into his mouth the moment something rumbles.
Jeongguk pauses, meeting Taehyung’s eyes before they blink for a minute and
Taehyung breaks the silence with a groan, covering his reddening face with his
palms.
“Oh God, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! I ruined it, I—”
But Jeongguk silents him with a snort, leaning down once more to drop a peck
straight on his belly button before he climbs higher to remove Taehyung’s hands
and kiss him on his forehead. Jeongguk fixes Taehyung’s shirt to its proper
place before sitting back up.
“Never mind, baby. I know you’re hungry. I’m hungry too so let’s finish the
rest of this yeah?”
Taehyung nods quietly, straightening with a face still slightly flushed from
being embarrassed by his unpredictable stomach but Jeongguk can only laugh. If
anything, he loves Taehyung’s tummy a bit more, not because it chose to rumble
at the most inconvenient time but because it let Jeongguk to see how pretty
Taehyung is once he’s all rosy cheeks and shy.
They clean up quickly after that to hit the couch where Jeongguk realizes, this
is the first time he will reveal a private tale of his life to Taehyung. The
senior’s patient, waiting for him to speak as he sits facing Jeongguk with
their knees touching and plays with their entwined hands. Jeongguk takes a deep
inhale to start.
“I’m…not exactly in a good term with my father,” Taehyung listens, giving his
full attention.
“As you probably could tell, I live alone here. But I have another house, the
one my father currently staying in. I just choose not to stay there whenever my
mom’s admitted to the hospital. Somehow…I can’t stand living with him.”
Jeongguk recalls how Dr. Jeon first exploded to him upon knowing his decision
of moving out of the penthouse. Still Jeongguk can never bring himself to
regret his choice, it’s better than staying there and arguing with his father
all the time.
“He wanted me to take over our family business but I refused. I chose dancing
and joining a club without his permission and for that, he always got mad at
me,” he chuckles a bit, knowing how stubborn he is.
“But that’s not the only reason why I can’t stand him. I realized I grew to
hate him when I was 14, when my mom first diagnosed for her disease. My father
changed too, he rarely had time at home until somewhere near the end of middle
school, I noticed him started bringing back different women to our house.”
Taehyung’s face changes at this, fingers stilling from playing with Jeongguk’s.
“I couldn’t watch him doing that to my mother,” Jeongguk feels his chest
tighten again, harder to breathe when he’s admitting it out loud. “I couldn’t
live with her being ignored that way, waiting for her husband to come and visit
her at the hospital room but he always gave her excuses. He told her he was
busy but I knew some more…”
“I knew he was only busy with those women…” He finishes bitterly and Taehyung
reaches forward to comb a comforting hand through his hair. Jeongguk gives him
a grateful smile.
“It continued until recently, I found out something different.”
“What?”
“He stopped bringing back women. He brought back only a person instead, a boy.”
Taehyung’s eyes snap wide to focus, pulled by further interest for his story.
Jeongguk waits for him to ask something—heart thumping madly because the boy is
you—yet he stays quiet, letting Jeongguk to resume his story so he does.
“I don’t know why he’s still contacting him up to this day unlike how he easily
changed from woman to woman before. I don’t know what’s so different about that
boy. I want to find out about them but…”
“But?”
Jeongguk’s silent for a while.
“…I’m afraid I’ll be hurt more than I already have.”
He looks up with teary eyes to Taehyung and the senior chooses his words
carefully when he starts to speak, tone gentle.
“You can still make it right, whatever the problem is between your father and
you.”
“How?”
“With the easiest way,” Taehyung smiles like it is the easiest thing to be
done. “Talk to him.”
Jeongguk reads his boyfriend’s face. Talk to his father? Just that?
“Ask him straight whatever you wanna know, all your confusion and curiosity and
pain…Be honest to him, he’s your father,” he elaborates.
“And I know there’s no telling to how much you’ve pained over the years going
through all of this but from what I’ve seen so far, I can tell you have good
parents,
“I’ve met your kindhearted mother and your father…Though I understand he puts
you in so much misery, I’m sure your father does certain things for a reason.”
“Reason? Like what?”
“Remember when he didn’t tell you about your mother’s worsening condition? He
might be doing it to protect you from getting even more hurt. Ever think of
that?”
Jeongguk feels his jaw hardening, couldn’t gather his thoughts to make a proper
come back after he heard Taehyung’s point of view regarding his father—an
opinion that’s so different but somehow makes a little sense even to him who
hates Dr. Jeon for years.
Taehyung sighs after a while, easily detecting Jeongguk’s uneasiness in
accepting the possible fact.
“The thing is, Jeongguk, you still have the chance,” he adds and Jeongguk looks
back up to him, furrowing still.
“You can make things right because you still have both of them. Your parents,
they’re still here. Unlike me, you can talk to them…”
This, somehow, reminds Jeongguk again of their differences.
“I want so much to meet my father, you know.” Taehyung’s smiling, but his eyes
are sad.
“I want to ask him so many things. I want to know why he left me, I want to ask
if he ever missed me and my siblings and I want a reason to what is it about us
that make everybody left…” He continues his story lightly, as if he’s just
talking about the weather.
“He left together with your mom?”
“No, my mom left after my father disappeared. I never knew the reason why. I
grew up with my sister under our grandma’s care in Daegu. Both of my parents
worked in Seoul. All I remember back then was she came back with Puppy, crying
like a mess and saying he’s left all of us.” Taehyung creases his eyebrows,
trying to remember what else happened during that time.
“She didn’t deal with his absence very well, barely even talked to me or my
grandma until one day, she left us too with only a piece of letter, asking me
to take care of my siblings…” He shrugs as if it’s no big deal but Jeongguk can
see as crystal clear the impact is bigger on Taehyung than he ever lets it
show.
“I waited for them, day and night, but only social workers appeared. They
brought us to Seoul. My siblings and I started staying in orphanage while they
put my grandma in the retirement house. That’s how I end up here. They called
us orphans when we knew our parents didn’t leave us for death. They probably
alive, somewhere…They just don’t want us anymore.”
Jeongguk almost knocks his head into Taehyung’s face in his hurry to pull the
boy into his embrace, holding him tight. Taehyung returns the hug before he
whispers close into his ears.
“Promise me you’ll make things right yeah? You’re lucky, Jeongguk. Don’t let
your life be a huge regret.”
Jeongguk gulps, hating to admit Taehyung’s right.
“I won’t. I promise,” he says as he rubs up and down Taehyung’s back. “I’ll
talk to him.”
They stay holding each other a little longer, letting the truth from each
other’s story sink in deeper into their conscience until Jeongguk pulls away
and shows Taehyung a lazy smile.
“I think I’ve forgot all the materials I read earlier.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes, resting their foreheads together to murmur against his
face. “I can help you revise them once more.”
“No, I only want to make out now.”
“Okay,” Taehyung agrees, playing along with Jeongguk’s idea. “Start, now!”
Jeongguk almost splutters.
“Oh my God, Tae, you can’t just ask me to start like that.” Taehyung cracks
into laughter at watching Jeongguk’s unbelievable expression. “That’s so unsexy
and I—”
Luckily Taehyung swallows the rest of his complaint with a deep kiss, leaning
further into his body until Jeongguk lies down on the couch and continues to
indulge himself in their passionate kisses. He momentarily forgets everything
because in that moment, he just wants to feel Taehyung on him and nothing else.
Not Taehyung’s problems.
Not even his problems.
For tonight, Jeongguk thinks this is enough.
They’re enough.  
Chapter End Notes
     There. You all got what you waited for. After almost 100 000 words
     and 7 chapters, they officially get together. Yeay! I wish you all a
     good night sleep. And now that they're dating, you all can expect
     fluff, endless FLUFF, angst, smut, impromptu candlelight dinner or
     idiotic couple shits and something similar along the line, have I
     mentioned angst? Yes, angst. What else? Idk, let's see. And to those
     who probably want to chitchat about taekook with me, you can find me
     in twitter: @MrJeonV (cuz im too lazy to tweak freaking html now so
     no link, sorry)
     Adios, people! I'm tipsy.
***** More than an Escape *****
Chapter Notes
     *crawls under a rock*
     Wow, why is the sun so bright? Why are there so many people alive and
     existing? Well, here, a 20k chap with taekook, namjin & jihope for
     you all. Sorry for mia, I'm a poor student trying to graduate on
     time.
     *sobs*
     *crawls back down under the rock*
     *peeks*
     and anyways, the last scene may or may not give you heart attack so
     beware.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Jeongguk always woke up feeling more exhausted than he first went to sleep.
He didn’t realize it grew into a routine until he spent an entire night with
eyes wide open and brain ran one mile a minute, only to find the next place he
woke up to was in a hospital room. He was informed he needed help. He needed a
rest from his jumbled up thoughts, and he was too young to consume sleeping
pills but sadly those were the only thing that would take away his
restlessness, that would separate him from reality even for an hour and that
would rescue him.
Not his father. Not his mother. Not anybody.
Just him and the pills.
“Where are they?” The doctor asked with a straight face when Jeongguk first sat
through his diagnosis, as if it didn’t bother him to see a 15 year-old boy
sitting through a depression test. As if he was used to deal with him, with
people like him—confused, alone, scared. He remembered closing his sight,
feeling the burn of exhaustion behind his eyelids.
“Busy…” Jeongguk barely recognized his own voice.
“You mean your father?”
“Yeah.”
He was always busy. Midnight shifts, overtime meetings, outstation trips, lies,
lies, lies…
“And your mother?”
Jeongguk found himself snapping his eyes open at this, staring upon the doctor
but unable to formulate the answer he was waiting for. He wished the answer
wasn’t true, he wished he could give him something different.
“In hospital. She’s sick, she needs to stay there.”
Jeongguk noticed the slight shift on the doctor’s face, the very first emotion
he showed throughout the session and Jeongguk looked away from it. He hated
sympathy the most.
“How about siblings? Do you have any?”
“No,” Jeongguk tried to make it sound nonchalant, like he didn’t need help,
like he was fine. But it sounded loud and clear that he was anything but fine.
“…I’m alone.”
And that was the core to his fear. He wasn’t the friendliest kid in the school
so he had no one in particular to dub his best friend. He could share jokes
with Yugyeom and Hoseok hyung only through his dance practices and he was very
much used to being surrounded by the only person who mattered the most to
him—his mother. She was his mother, his best friend, and also his occasional
enemy. Until suddenly, he was alone when he sent her to the hospital the first
night she collapsed. He was alone when he heard the doctor announced her
sickness. He was alone when his father left him in the penthouse because she
needed to stay the nights in hospital. He was alone when he waited for the
phone call to announce when she would be back. He was alone when he doubted all
night whether he would wake up to a living mother or a dead one. He was alone
through it all and it wasn’t long before everything was eating him inside out.
Jeongguk was just so afraid to close his eyes. He was scared to fall asleep in
case once he woke up he would be alone. There will be no more Mrs. Jeon, and
his father wouldn’t even care to look at him.
The insomnia was getting worse that Jeongguk stopped believing he would get
better. He stopped blocking out the monsters in his brain and he flushed the
rest of his pills down the abandonment of the drain. He decided there was no
use to feel afraid of being alone when he knew, it will always be him from now
on.
So when there is a morning that he wakes up feeling warm from head to toes,
like the years spent with exhaustion finally comes to an end and he isn’t alone
from the soft snoring he hears somewhere really close to him, Jeongguk takes a
little longer to interpret what’s going on.
It takes him three blinks to recognize the white ceilings of his bedroom, two
more blinks to tilt his head and see thin arms and legs blanketing his whole
body plus one final blink to have him stare upon the mop of soft brown hair
tucked in the curve of his clavicle, which Jeongguk finally realizes belongs to
a very beautiful boy sleeping right next to him. He can’t stop a lazy smile
from appearing on his face, basking in another pleasant fact that the beautiful
boy is actually his boyfriend.
Seeing Taehyung first thing in the morning is like finally discovering the cure
to his insomnia. Gone all the fears he’s been dealing with in the past because
lying in his arms right now is someone capable of bringing peace to him after
his mother.
Jeongguk tightens his arms around Taehyung, gleeful and thankful all the same
as he takes a few minutes to simply listen to the rhythm of Taehyung’s chest
breathing up and down against his own. Unable to wrap his mind around how
enchanting Taehyung is in the light of sunrise, Jeongguk brings his hand up—the
one that doesn’t curl around Taehyung—to trace his fingertip along the slope of
Taehyung’s nose, marveling at how perfectly crafted it is, and down across the
curve of his lips. He knows how soft they can be, he’s tasted them enough to
remember the sweetness but the urge overcomes his muscle memory and Jeongguk
leans until his lips land upon those lips.
It’s just a soft press, doesn’t want to pull Taehyung out of his dream, but
when he leans away it’s like every part of him has become magnetic to every
part of Taehyung. Jeongguk doesn’t fight it, tilting down his head again to
kiss above the curves of his brows, down to the tip of Taehyung’s nose, one on
each side of his cheeks before he’s returning to where he started. Only this
time, Jeongguk presses the kiss to feel a pressure pushing back against his
lips, causing Jeongguk to smile into it.
“What are you doing?”
If Taehyung is beautiful in his sleep, then Jeongguk is nowhere near prepared
to hear the rawness of his deep voice as he first speaks in the morning. He
leans back, trying not to show the shiver down his spine at how affected he is
to Taehyung as he watches the senior slowly flutters his eyes open only for
Jeongguk to fall in love. A bit. Deeper.
Shit.
“Hm?” Taehyung hums when there’s no answer from Jeongguk, too busy adoring his
own boyfriend that he doesn’t move until Taehyung laces his fingers in the hair
of Jeongguk’s nape and pulls him closer down to his face, foreheads touching
each other.
“Kissing you,” Jeongguk murmurs, quiet but honest and Taehyung’s eyes turn from
sleepy gaze into a set of crescents, grinning so big Jeongguk wants to plead
him to stop for his heart to have a break. Too many beats at once aren’t good
for his health but he doesn’t, he won’t ask Taehyung to stop smiling because
his smile is everything between enchanting and angelic. Jeongguk never wants to
stop staring.
Taehyung ends his grin with a sigh, “morning breath though.”
“See if I care,” is his short comment before he grips both hands around
Taehyung’s waist to flip the boy until he’s entirely on him, enjoying his yelp
at his sudden movement before Taehyung holds his shoulders to stabilize himself
while straddling him. And Jeongguk gives no time for any other reaction as he
launches forward, sweeping Taehyung into a kiss too deep for early morning
while pressing their bodies close until the rest of Taehyung has nowhere to go
but against him.
Seeing how fast his boyfriend is responding to him, wrapping both arms tight
around his neck and mouth falling open for his tongue, Jeongguk concludes none
of them gives a fuck for being the gross couple they are. All he knows is
Taehyung wants him as much as he wants the senior and Jeongguk bites and tugs
upon Taehyung’s bottom lip to show him just that, feeling way too pleased at
the small whine he gets.
They only part when Jeongguk’s hair has become messier from Taehyung’s
handpulling and Taehyung’s shirt is half way up his chest from Jeongguk’s
roaming palms while they were kissing. Both lips are red and puffy and they
laugh as they stare at each other, calming the heat starting to sip through
under their skin.
“Morning, baby,” Jeongguk drops one last kiss on his forehead, fixing
Taehyung’s tee back to its place before squeezing his waist affectionately and
Taehyung smiles wider.
“Morning too, honey. I definitely love waking up this way.”
“Yeah, but while I can’t get enough of your lips, I also need to stay alive to
continue kissing you. So let’s have breakfast,” Taehyung’s smile turns into a
pout at this, getting off Jeongguk’s lap when his younger boyfriend pushes him
gently.
“No breakfast in bed?”
Jeongguk chuckles, picturing the day he would have such luxury with Taehyung
and he wants it to be perfect. Because Taehyung definitely deserves just one
thing, perfection.
“One day, when I have my own money to buy you expensive breakfast,” he promises
and is rewarded with the same blinding boxy smile.
He’s halfway walking out of the room when he remembers something and glances
back to pause Taehyung from climbing down the bed. Taehyung gives a questioning
look to the mischievous smile on his face.
“I forgot one thing.”
“What?”
“Last one to the kitchen has to make the breakfast.”
And then he dashes through the door, leaving a gaping Taehyung who only
recovers from his shock a few seconds later by yelling “Fuck you, Jeon! I don’t
agree on this!” Jeongguk sniggers from his position in the kitchen, fully aware
he wins by cheating but doesn’t feel guilty even for a bit.
Surely Taehyung ends up preparing for their breakfast despite his loud
complaint of Jeongguk being unfair. The only thing that’s quick to become an
issue next is everything they plan to eat, has no exact ingredient to be made.
Taehyung plans for a simple toast but “where’s the bread?” He then changes to
making pancakes but is stopped by Jeongguk’s “I don’t have eggs.” He lastly
opts for something instant like sausages and nuggets but the only thing they
finally lay on the table is a pair of bowls with dry cereal in it.
“Boy, you need a serious grocery shopping session. You can’t live just on
this,” the older boyfriend chastises while he pours the milk into Jeongguk’s
bowl, a sad excuse to make the cereal look appetizing.
“I will,” Jeongguk chews one big chunk of it, grinning all the same. “If you
come with me.”
He’s given a roll of eyes as Taehyung takes the seat across from him. “And help
you carry all the heavy shopping bags? No thanks.”
“Why not? We can be domestic as fuck in there that everyone is grossed out by
us. Seems like a perfect date to me.”
“Well are you proposing a date to me now, Mr. Jeon?”
“Is it working, Mr. Kim?” Jeongguk wriggles his eyebrow, smirking behind his
spoon as Taehyung gives him a pointed look, so quick to catch up with their
little flirting game. It seems dating each other doesn’t change that.
“I’m not sure. Let me see if I can fit you in my schedule, Mr. Jeon. I’m very
busy, you know.”
Jeongguk laughs, loving how Taehyung never makes things easy for him. The
senior has that habit of slyly pushing him away only to pull him in a few times
harder. It’s exhilarating.
Yet of course if he wants to ask Taehyung for a date, he might as well plan
something better than just to the nearest market. It reminds him of a matter
he’s been meaning to ask the senior, wanting to find out whether or not can he
proceed with the plan he has in his mind. 
“Talking about your schedule, do you think you have free time the next Friday
to Sunday?”
Taehyung stops chewing, frowning over his bowl. “What, are we really going for
a date?”
“Sort of. I’m going for a dance competition during those three days in Jeju.
I’d like you to come with me and perhaps be our photographer but if you refuse,
you can just go and chill with me.” Jeongguk lets it all out in one breath,
isn’t even sure if he’s making any sense to Taehyung but when the elder stares
blankly at him, Jeongguk’s brain is crashed by one vital fact he suddenly
recalls.
Taehyung still has his job in the club, which he can’t simply ditch to be with
him. And one of the jobs is having customer every Friday night which Jeongguk
painfully awares it involves sleeping with people but it also pays the most
among his other duties and Jeongguk’s heart just cracks…a little.
Maybe a lot.
Still, he doesn’t let it show on his face, quickly plasters a bland smile on it
to not cause Taehyung any distress. 
“Of course you can go, if you don’t mind missing a customer that Friday,” he
adds while avoiding Taehyung’s eyes, refuses to see the guilt also appearing in
his boyfriend’s expression of the heavy matter they both know still clinging to
Taehyung but none ready to address it.
“I’ll go.”
Jeongguk isn’t sure to feel happy or faulty at Taehyung’s resolute answer.
“Really?”
Taehyung flashes him a big smile, reassuring him. “Yeah, and I don’t mind
helping you with the photography if the group is fine with me being there.”
Jeongguk is definitely happy now.
“Of course they don’t mind! And Park will be there too so it’ll be fun for
you.”
Taehyung snorts at how Jeongguk and Jimin still calling each other by their
family name.
“When will you make amend with Jiminie? He’s the sweetest—”
“He’s your best friend, who knows you better and longer than me. I have every
right to feel jealous,” Jeongguk childishly shoves a spoonful of cereal into
his mouth, munching obnoxiously.
“Ridiculous,” Taehyung shakes his head, eyes fond while staring at Jeongguk’s
little jealousy. “I love Jiminie, yes. But his place isn’t similar to yours in
my heart.”
“And what kind of place is that? How is it different?”
He can’t stop himself from asking, genuinely curious instead of just to hear
assurance from Taehyung. Jeongguk watches as his boyfriend smiles and stands up
from the chair, walking over to him until he stands behind him and bends low
enough to gather Jeongguk in his arms, cheek presses next to cheek.
“It’s a kind of place that keeps on beating even when I just think of you.
Jiminie doesn’t do that to my heart. You do.”
Jeongguk swallows, he has no proper comeback for that since it’s a confession
he expected the least. The only thing he does to show the feeling is mutual,
Taehyung also has the same place in his own heart is by wrapping his hands over
Taehyung’s arms, pulling him much closer before he turns to kiss his cheek and
presses his nose to the side of Taehyung’s face. Both are closing their eyes to
bask in the little moment.
Truth is, Jeongguk isn’t that envious of the privilege Jimin has to Taehyung as
his best friend. His true concern lies at how Taehyung has no reason to leave
Jimin. They’re best friends from the start and even the universe approves them.
But Jeongguk, as a boyfriend, Taehyung has every reason to leave him at any
moment. Especially if he finds out who Jeongguk actually is and Jeongguk
doesn’t want to be left just like that.
He never wants to let go of Taehyung.
Never wants to lose his sleep thinking of the risk in losing another precious
person in his life.
Never.
===============================================================================
 
“Dr. Jeon, your son is here.”
Jeongguk might have laughed at the utter surprise on his father’s face if it’s
not for the fact he’s about to say something heavy to him. He thanks the
secretary who led him inside, approaching Dr. Jeon until he can stand before
his huge mahogany table and look up to his father who slowly turns his
attention away from his computer screen.
“My oh my, I must have lost too much sleep to start hallucinating of you
actually standing in front of me in my office,” Dr. Jeon jokes dryly but
Jeongguk is having none of it. He speaks straight with stern in his tone. “Quit
the rubbish. I only come to say something to you.”
His father sighs, clearly suppressing the urge to roll his eyes.
“Do tell.”
“I’m off to Jeju starting from tomorrow to Sunday. I have a dance competition
to attend.”
“Still dancing huh?” He gives him uninterested look.
“That’s not your concern. You should concern about mom. Since I’ll be gone for
quite some times, I expect you to be there for her instead. I’m not asking you
to see her 24/7, I know that won’t happen,” Jeongguk’s glad his father at least
has the conscience to look sober at this. He must have said something right.
“Just…visit her whenever you can.”
“Don’t leave her completely alone,” he adds when he feels the air growing
thicker between them.
Dr. Jeon doesn’t promise him anything nor does he nod his head yet Jeongguk can
see he would still be doing what Jeongguk asks of him from the slight guilt
showing on his face. The tightness in that expression lined up with the frowns
over his forehead, Jeongguk knows there’s a part of him that sorry for whatever
he has done behind Jeongguk and his wife. Jeongguk just needs a little
something to forgive him for it. So he clears his throat and says it out loud.
“And you still haven’t apologized to her for cheating. It’s better if you use
this time for that.”
Dr. Jeon blinks at him. “I’m not—”
“I know you might have your reasons for certain things you did,” Jeongguk cuts
over the excuses he’s about to make. “But you can’t bullshit me with those
women you brought back by saying it wasn’t cheating. I wasn’tthat blind.”
Dr. Jeon falls silent, regarding him seriously.
“And I know among those women, there’s a boy that you can’t just let go.”
There, he’s said it. Straight to Dr. Jeon’s face. What makes his heart break a
little is the way his father widens his eyes, like he’s surprised with what
Jeongguk knows, like what Jeongguk just statedisn’t wrong.
“Jeongguk-ah…”
“Dr. Jeon?” The soft voice of his secretary interrupts the deep conversation.
Dr. Jeon peers over his shoulders to where she pokes her head inside from the
office door. “I’m sorry to disturb you both but I’m here to remind you about
the board meeting. It’s in 15 minutes, sir. We have to leave now.”
His father visibly sighs, displeased that the matter has to be dismissed this
way but after giving her a brief nod, he stands up from his leather seat and
picks up the coat he hangs over the headrest.
“I want explanation for that,” Jeongguk says just as he’s walking past him to
leave, stopping Dr. Jeon. “So after I’m back, let’s meet up and talk about
everything.”
A glare is thrown to his way.
“The boy you saw is none of your business so I have nothing to talk about it.”
“I want to stop hating you, dad,” Jeongguk states firmly, halting Dr. Jeon just
as he’s about to step away again. His father still doesn’t turn to look at him
but Jeongguk continues anyway, needing to voice it out and let the man know.
“I want to be able to forgive you for cheating behind mom and for acting like I
wasn’t there those years before. But I need to know the reason first. I need
you to be honest with me.” He sees the way he gulps, he notices how he’s
clenching his fists and Jeongguk just knows there’s something he needs Dr. Jeon
to open up to him. “If you’re not doing something wrong, you have nothing to
hide from me or mom.”
He tries one last time, stripping his tone down to a quietness so that his
father sees the 17 year-old-boy in him, hurt and in need for Dr. Jeon to reveal
the truth. Still, all his father does is giving him a long, unreadable look
before he leaves Jeongguk alone in the room.
Jeongguk sighs, wondering what else he can do to find everything out from his
father instead of digging into it himself. Dr. Jeon didn’t deny the matter
about the boy so it’s clear to him Taehyung still very much involved with him.
Jeongguk desperately needs to know why.
Scanning around the office, Jeongguk suddenly is hit by the fact that it’s been
years since he spent time here. He smiles remembering all the times he used to
play his favorite Legos and car toys, feeling a bit sad that time has the power
to change everything. He then walks around the table, eyes roaming all over the
scattered documents on top of it before he stares upon the desktop and notices
a tiny picture is pasted against the bottom corner there.
Jeongguk can almost hear his own heart shattering in the midst of the quiet
room. Because it’s the photo of their little family—Dr. Jeon, his mother and
him. The biggest question is why his father keeps such a small picture at a
place where he can easily see it whenever he’s working? And the act is so
contradict to the way he cheated on Mrs. Jeon and ignored Jeongguk all this
time? Jeongguk can’t understand any of this.
He peels the picture off, bringing it closer for inspection before he flips it
over and something written there stutters Jeongguk’s heart all over again. 
My blood, sweat and tears—Hannie & Jeonggukie
Jeongguk can feel the sob building in him which he tries his best to put it
away, pasting the picture back to where it was. “Tell me where exactly I’m
wrong, dad,” he whispers in confusion and decides to just leave it for now
since he still can’t place the puzzles into one piece.
He thinks of exiting the room in peace when Jeongguk steps through the door and
gets a face full of brown envelopes before a lady yelps and Jeongguk shuts his
eyes to the thump he feels once his body hit the floor. Jeongguk refrains from
groaning upon the pain shooting all over his back.
“Mr. Jeon! I’m sorry—I didn’t see you there,” the lady—a nurse cries out as she
frantically tries to help him up to his feet again meanwhile Jeongguk curses
himself for not noticing her walking into the room in the middle of his deep
confusion just now.
“No, I’m sorry too. I didn’t notice you.”
Jeongguk brushes it off. Yet she bows one more time to him and Jeongguk quickly
helps collecting all the envelopes she carried with her to show he doesn’t mind
it even a bit. The nurse shyly thanks him, joining to pick up the rest until
Jeongguk reaches out for the last file near him and stills to the information
printed there. A small squared photo clipped to it is no doubt showing Jeongguk
the file in his hand belongs to his boyfriend. The name written there is Kim
Taehyung. The age recorded is absolutely the same as Taehyung’s current age and
the rest of the information is giving Jeongguk a hard time to breathe as it
jumbles up with scientific labels of blood components. For somebody who ditched
Science for Art, Jeongguk can’t comprehend them fast enough. He’s asking before
he can even register his own shaking voice.
“What—what file is this? What’s the blood test for? Why do you have to send it
to my father?”
The nurse looks over to him, gasping once she realizes the file is bared open
to him and snatching it in a matter of second out of Jeongguk’s hands. She
shoves it inside the envelope before picking up the rest from Jeongguk’s lap.
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Jeon. But I can’t tell you anything about a patient’s
details. It’s confidential.”
“Pa—patient?”
And before Jeongguk could confirm he’s hearing the right word, the nurse shoots
up to her feet and bolts out of his sight, bringing all the envelopes she
intended to send to the office with her.
“Wait…wait up!”
Jeongguk scrambles after her, running to the corridor a tad later that he only
catches the back side of her white uniform as she disappears down the hall. He
rushes to the same way, quietly trailing after her until she stops scanning her
thumbprint to unlock a door and Jeongguk couldn’t run fast enough to get
through it.
He curses, pounding his fists to the tightly locked doors before reversing to
read a huge board hung on the wall to feel the cold shiver running down his
spine. BLOOD SPECIALIST LABORATORY C is what he sees. No doubt the file he saw
just now was about Taehyung’s blood. No doubt his boyfriend somehow has a
connection to this hospital. He needs to find out what it actually is.
In the middle of racking his brain to find a way, the same doors part open to
let a man wearing a lab coat walks through it. Jeongguk wants to use the chance
to slip inside but he can’t risk getting caught so easily. He then opts to ask
the man.
“Hey, wait!” The man stops, glancing up from his clipboard as he immediately
recognizes him as the son to the hospital director.
“Mr. Jeon? Can I help you?”
“Can you tell me what lab is this? What kind of tests it runs?” The man
frowning back and forth from Jeongguk’s desperate look to the doors he’s
pointing at. He smiles thinly despite suspecting him.
“As you can see the label, it runs all the blood tests for chronic diseases
along with the research regarding to donors of those diseases.”
Jeongguk swears his heart stops functioning all at once.
“Chro—chronic diseases…”
“Is something wrong, Mr. Jeon?”
He can feel his skin is turning as white as the man’s face, slowly draining of
blood.
“I need to get inside,” he whispers but it’s too low and quiet. The man shakes
his head.
“Pardon me?”
“I need to get inside, let me through,” he’s already reaching for the doors. “I
have to find out—”
“No, wait! This lab is for staff only, you can’t just—”
“But I need to find out about something! I need to—”
“Jeon Jeongguk.”
The tight grip he’s trying to shake off from his arms instantly loosening when
the voice of someone calls him from behind. Jeongguk and the man look over,
seeing Seokjin step closer to them with a calm face.
“Mr. Kim, Dr. Jeon’s son is trying to—”
“Never mind, you can leave. I’ll escort him away, yeah?” Seokjin reassures the
man, dismissing him shortly and the man waits no more to linger, bowing both to
Seokjin and Jeongguk before the PA drags Jeongguk away from the chaos he almost
caused.
“What do you think you’re doing there?” Seokjin asks as soon as they’re within
a safe distance from the laboratory. Jeongguk furrows at him, partly relieved
and partly annoyed that Seokjin was there just in time. Relieved because he
doesn’t yet need to face a fact that he isn’t ready to know about Taehyung.
Annoyed since he knows sooner or later, he still needs to find out the complete
truth. This matter is only getting out of hands.
“I was just curious,” Jeongguk reasons while pulling his hand out of Seokjin’s
grip. “I wanted to look at my mom’s blood test result. I wanted to understand
her current condition.”
“You know you can always ask Dr. Oh for that. No need to intrude the lab itself
right?”
Jeongguk tries to avoid the pointed look Seokjin’s giving him, awares his
reason is weak but he can’t let anything out to anyone unless he has a solid
prove to this. Taehyung told him his father was paying him for different
service than sex and now he discovered his health record here? Under the lab
for chronic diseases of all places? There are too many possibilities and it
scares him all at once. He will come back later, formulates a better way to
figure it out once his head is clearer from this mess. Jeongguk needs to
connect all the dots after all.
Seokjin’s about to say something again when a loud ringtone of Justin Bieber’s
song resonates through the corridor. Jeongguk pulls out his phone, eyes still
conscious of the way Seokjin’s staring upon him before he looks down to the
screen and immediately swipes across it.
“Hey,” Jeongguk darts his sight back to Seokjin, swallowing because he knows
it’s too late to hide the caller ID and the picture of the person calling him.
Seokjin already has that amusement on his looks. “Yeah, I’m on my way now. I’ll
see you there, okay?”
He shuts the call while trying to appear indifferent but the gentleness in his
tone betrays everything.
“Baby Taetae,” Seokjin repeats what he just saw, one eyebrow raised. “What a
cheesy nickname. Your boyfriend?”
“Please just keep busy with your own business.”
The PA chuckles, fishing out his own phone to show off the current wallpaper he
has on.
“No worries. I also understand the need to be all lovey-dovey with my loved
one. We even have matching wallpaper, you know.”
Jeongguk frowns to it. It’s a picture of two people, clearly Seokjin and a man,
but there’s nothing more to see than the outline of their bodies since the
pixels are so distorted, like it’s taken by shaky hands.
“You shouldn’t hide him if you love him. He must have been depressed to know
his fiancé is doing the best to conceal him by using blurry couple picture,”
Seokjin makes a face.
“That’s not the reason! My dear fiancé is a natural born klutz. He can’t touch
a thing without breaking it.”
“And you think it’s problematic?” Jeongguk challenges him.
“I love him for it,” Seokjin states back just as firmly.
Jeongguk nods and steps away, distancing himself.
“So you understand then. I love nicknaming my boyfriend as such so shut the
hell up.”
 
 
 
 
(Seokjin’s eyes trail after Jeongguk’s retreating back until he corners around
a wall down the corridor and disappears. The PA sighs to himself, recalling how
protective the tone Jeongguk used on him when they talked about their loved
ones just now.
“Boyfriend huh?”
It’s time for Jeongguk to learn the truth. He can’t let the boy lead himself
into further damage. Both him and Taehyung will still have the same end; being
hurt.)
===============================================================================
 
Sometimes, Jung Hoseok can be too loud for his own good.
And most of the time Jeongguk doesn’t mind such a bright demeanor. It brings
colors to his somewhat dull life throughout all these years. But on occasional
times that Jeongguk would appreciate the silence to peacefully enjoy his life,
he wants nothing more than to slap Hoseok on the mouth just to tone him down a
bit and one of those occasional times is right now.
Jeongguk shakes his head from where he stands leaning against the bus that
commuted them from the airport to the hotel they will be staying in along the
three days, watching Hoseok run out of the hotel lobby to shout to the rest of
the members while praying his eardrums won’t burst to pieces any minute now.
“Yeay! Group photo, people! Group photo!” The team captain is herding everyone
to the center of the road, having the gigantic entrance of the hotel as their
background to capture their very first memory here in Jeju despite the
collective sighs and complaints from the others to just let them check in and
rest. Most of them are still tired from the flight, same as Jeongguk.
Yet when he moves to tell Hoseok that the group photo can wait, another equally
bouncy ball of energy jumps into his sight and Jeongguk can’t help the soften
of his heart.
“Gather around, please!” Taehyung instructs, Jeongguk’s high-definition camera
ready in his hands. He still can’t believe they make it here to Jeju for their
somewhat first time traveling together other than running back and forth
between the school and the club. Jeongguk promises himself to make the most out
of this chance, to be the best date for Taehyung.
He only realizes he’s still standing on the same spot until Taehyung calls his
name, sunshine practically reflects from his way-too-big smile and Jeongguk
stops his cheeks from the gradual warmth he feels as he jogs to the group,
joining them to pose for the lens Taehyung holds in front of them.
“1, 2, cheese!” His cute boyfriend announces and the shutter goes off a few
times, capturing the dance team in a couple of poses before Jimin beckons
Taehyung to them. “Tae, set a timer.”
He does so and runs to get into position. Only when he’s about to crouch next
to Jimin, Jeongguk reaches for him to pull Taehyung into the cradle of his
arms, hugging him from behind as he rests his chin on his shoulder and Taehyung
laughs, holding his hands just as tight. Jimin rolling his eyes at them is the
only thing he grins at before the camera comes to the last beep and the moment
is captured.
“Alright, for your room arrangement, everyone will be in pair for each room
yeah? Collect your key card from me and then you guys can check in,” Hoseok
starts distributing their rooms while Jeongguk turns his attention to Taehyung.
“You okay?” He watches as Taehyung fiddles with the cap of the lens, adjusting
the setting of the camera here and there. Taehyung smiles at him when Jeongguk
uses his sleeve to wipe off the sweat beading on his forehead.
“Yeah, it’s balmy but so beautiful here.”
Jeongguk smiles to the camera once Taehyung brings the focus up to him,
thinking you’re more beautiful despite him knowing Taehyung was commenting
about the weather and scenery of the island. “When we get to our room—”
“Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin!”
He glances up, only able to process the names announced once Jimin appears out
of nowhere to grab Taehyung along with him. “Come on, Tae. That’s ours.”
“Wait, what? Why are you two room together? Why am I not with Tae?” Jeongguk
questions as he scrambles after them, pauses midway when Jimin clicks his
tongue at him.
The elder juts his chin to Hoseok. “Ask your leader.”
“Hobie hyun—”
“Jeon Jeongguk and Kim Yugyeom!”
“Yes sir!”
And now he’s the one being dragged away by Yugyeom, losing idea how his
backpack already in the boy’s hand.
“With Yugyeom? No, wait,” he slips away, leaving Yugyeom blinking at his back.
“Hyung, you’re doing this wrong. I should room with Tae. It’s natural since
he’s my boyfriend.”
Jimin groans. “No, I should room with him! He’s my best friend, it’s bro before
hoe!”
Taehyung opens his mouth to say something but Hoseok already holds his
clipboard high in between them, sighing tiredly as the two exchange glares.
“Calm down, guys. I’m doing you a favor, Jeongguk-ah,” Hoseok is given a look
like he’s just said something so stupid. “I didn’t put you together with
Taehyung because I don’t want your focus for the competition to sway to humping
like rabbits with your boyfriend so take a chill pill and see him outside of
the room. Okay?”
“That’s ridiculous. We haven’t had sex together.”
It slips so fast out of Jeongguk’s mouth that everyone is silent to the bones.
For a moment there are only looks being exchanged among the members and the
Jeju wind blowing. Jimin at last breaks it with a shrug, pulling Taehyung to
walk with him again.
“Whatever. It’s still bro before hoe so let’s go!”
Jeongguk snaps out of it, calling Taehyung a few more times but it fades away
once they get through the entrance. Taehyung can only laugh, waving to the
image of his boyfriend being restrained by Yugyeom from going after him. They
then proceed side by side to take the lift that will bring them up to their
floor.
“I’m surprised.”
“About what?” Both of them bow to the receptionists who greet them as they pass
by.
“You don’t even ask to room together with Hoseok hyung,” Jimin hears the tease
in his best friend’s tone but all he does is snort.
“You heard him. Everyone needs to concentrate so I’ve set my mind on nothing
but to win the competition. That’s what I promised the team after all.”
Taehyung hums. “Ah, I see. So it’s okay for Hoseok hyung to room with Naeunnie
then.”
“Yah!” Jimin glares at him, catching the familiar boxy smile as Taehyung laughs
and pushes the button to call for the elevator. “They can’t possibly room
together, they’re girl and boy!”
“So?”
They step inside together, Jimin’s ignoring Taehyung’s shit-eating grin as he
moves to push upon the 4th button when someone shouts out at the corridor.
“Wait! Hold the doors open!”
No doubt the voice belongs to Hoseok, panting in front of them just in time as
he winks and uses one hand to block the doors from closing. Taehyung reverses
closer to the wall to give him space yet Hoseok makes no move to enter until
click-clack of high heels is heard and Naeun appears with her own handbag and
luggage.
“Hi!” She steps inside, grinning widely to both Taehyung and Jimin.
The best friends aren’t sure how to react, knowing Hoseok just showed an act of
a gentleman to be guarding the doors for Naeun but Taehyung recovers faster
than Jimin. He takes over the handle of the girl’s luggage when Naeun seems to
struggle pulling it inside.
“Here, let me help you.”
“Thank you! We haven’t met before right?”
Taehyung can literally feel how stiff Jimin is without needing to spare him a
look. They have been best friends long enough to communicate telepathically
that Taehyung just knows Jimin is waiting for something. He darts his eyes to
where Hoseok is pushing for the 3rd floor, waiting for Naeun to choose her own
stop but she doesn’t. She simply relaxes next to Hoseok against the wall as the
doors close and bring them upward. Does that mean the two are staying on the
same? He acts cool, still, throwing Naeun the charming smile he’s practiced to
give to each of the customer in the club.
“Yes, I’m not the club member. Just here to help as their photographer.”
“And as Jeonggukie’s sweetheart?” She jokes and Taehyung laughs with Hoseok.
“That too!”
“Aww, you guys look so good together.”
What a best friend without being a little shit so Taehyung replies the
compliment with “Nah, we’re decent. You look great with Hoseok hyung as well.”
A gasp somewhere from Jimin’s position and Naeun turns to arch her eyebrow at a
grinning Hoseok. “We do?”
No comment is made as a ding echoes in the lift and the doors part for the
hallway of the 3rd floor.
“Ah, it’s here!” Naeun collects her stuff, waving them goodbye while she exits.
“Bye, Naeunnie! I’ll see you later!”
Jimin can’t stop the question even before the doors fully shut again. “What,
this isn’t your floor?”
“Nope! I’m on the same floor as you two. I room alone this year, yeay!”
Hoseok stays oblivious of the situation but Taehyung breaks into laughter as he
sees how Jimin sags in relief by the corner of his eyes.
“Ahh, so good to be a leader,” he singsongs simultaneously while Jimin whispers
“cheater,” to Hoseok.
“Why? Are you jealous of me, Jiminie?” The leader scrunches his nose. “You know
you can always come to my room.”
The sudden invitation is followed by Taehyung’s wolf whistling but Jimin is
quick to shove him by the stomach, pressing a shut the hell up look to his best
friend. He clears his throat, looking petulantly at Hoseok. “Huh? For what?”
“For nothing. Can’t I invite you over?” Hoseok’s expression is as
straightforward as his offer. “Besides, Taetae won’t be long in your room. I’m
sure he’ll sneak out to Jeongguk’s room sooner or later. Or maybe Jeongguk
sneaks into your room, do you want to thirdwheel?”
Again, same as just now, the damn lift decides to arrive at the most
anticipated time. Hoseok adjusts the strap of his bag on his shoulder before he
walks out and only glances back to throw Jimin a wink that he receives with a
blooming blush.
“Come, Jiminie. I’ll be waiting!”
And then he’s gone, whistling along the corridor to his own room while Taehyung
has to nudge Jimin two times harsher to get his legs functioning again.
Taehyung is only too excited to see the terrible pink upon the fair skin of
Jimin’s cheeks.
“You better take that invitation. You don’t want Naeun noona to be in your
place instead right?” Jimin pauses, blinking up at Taehyung as he still
couldn’t get over the unexpected turn of event. Taehyung sighs, gazing
dramatically ahead of them. “Imagine, Hobie hyung and Naeunnie…together…in a
hotel room…”
“Yah!” He recoils away from Jimin, laughter booming along the hall. “Just say
it to my face if you want to ditch me to go and make out with freaking Jeon!”
“Oh Jiminie, can you borrow our room for me and Jeonggukie? You can go and
chill at Jung Hoseok’s room.”
A slap to his shoulder.
“You jerk! It’s bro before hoe!”
===============================================================================
 
The room in overall is fantastic despite it being a bit small with two single
beds. But the view of the vast blue ocean over the balcony makes up for it and
they don’t turn on the air-conditioner just to enjoy the breeze, parting the
sliding doors as wide as it can to let it blow inside. After changing into
simpler attire, Taehyung and Jimin decides to splay on one of the beds to hang
their heads together scrolling through the tourism website to see what’s hit in
Jeju among the tourists.
“So it’s either the Manjanggul Cave or the Teddy Bear Museum.”
“Teddy Bear Museum!”
“But Taetae, we see teddy bears in daily basis at the mall. We should visit the
cave.”
“But these are not just ordinary teddy bears! They’re in museum, they’re art!”
Their bickering halts upon the ringing of their bedroom bell. Taehyung gets up
to get the door but Jimin’s hand shoots out to stop him by the wrist, giving
his best friend a frown.
“Wait, you remember what we’ve promised right?”
Jimin still determines not to let Taehyung has quality time alone with Jeongguk
upon the reason that he has no one as close as he is to Taehyung among the
dance members so Taehyung can’t leave him alone. Even if Jeongguk would ask him
to go out, they need to stay in three. Taehyung can only roll his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah. I got it.”
He misses the way Jimin grins in triumph and goes over to open the door to
Hoseok waving enthusiastically at him.
“Taehyungie, is Jiminie awake?”
He blinks; once, twice. “He’s—”
“What are you doing here?” Jimin’s already there, furrowing to Hoseok through
Taehyung’s shoulder. Hoseok flashes the same blinding smile at him.
“There you are, let’s go sightseeing with me! I bet you’ll be out with
Jeonggukie, Tae-ah?”
Taehyung once again opens his mouth to respond but Jimin does so for him
quicker.
“Nope! Taetae loves me so much he won’t abandon me! We’ll be going
outtogether.”
“Oh? Then where is Jeongguk now if you two plan to go out?”
It’s the only reason why Taehyung agreed to accompany Jimin out even though he
very much wanted to be with his boyfriend. He doesn’t want to tire Jeongguk out
with other activities. He knows the younger needs all the energy for the big
competition tomorrow. So he has chosen to let him rest but,
“Why is everyone here? What’s the issue?”
Taehyung gapes as Jeongguk appears all handsome and groomed. Skin-tight black
jeans, Polo white shirt under a matching black leather jacket and neatly styled
hair showing off his forehead—he’s seriously giving Taehyung so much want to
mess up that hair with less than innocent reasons. Taehyung swallows, looking
away while Jeongguk’s still waiting for some sort of answer.
“Well, Guk, I’m your savior since I’m here to bring Jiminie out so you can be
alone with Taehyungie.”
“What? No—”
“That’s right! Thanks, hyung. You’re the best!”
Jeongguk fires Hoseok with fingerguns before reaching for Taehyung’s hand but
Jimin squeezes in between them before it even happens, causing Jeongguk to
groan while Taehyung blinks at his best friend.
“Hell no! You two can’t be alone! Who knows what you would be doing until Jeon
won’t have enough energy to dance tomorrow so yeah, let all four of us go out
together. Move!”
Then he rushes to push Taehyung out of the door, running inside just to get
their wallets and jackets before he’s locking the door and next, the small
group is walking to the nearest bus station. Taehyung and Jeongguk follow in
silent, letting Jimin and Hoseok decide their destination but when Hoseok
starts reading an article from his phone, Jimin can feel his blood start to
boil.
“Open only to those above the age of 20, Loveland is a park focused on
sexuality and eroticism. 140 sculptures of men and women in various states of
undress and different sex positions litter the park, all of them works of
students from Hongik University…It’s decided! We’re going here!”
Jimin crosses his arms across his chest, showing him unimpressive look. “You do
realize the only person legal for that is you, right? The three of us are
basically still…”
“…underage,” Taehyung finishes when Jimin stops to contemplate the word. He
nods over Jeongguk’s loud yawn.
“Yeah, and Jeju isn’t only attractive for that! We can visit other places like
the beach, Manjanggul Cave, or Teddy Bear Museum.”
Taehyung brightens at this.
“Yup, that one! That one! That’s cute!”
It’s Hoseok’s turn to facepalm himself, ignoring Jeongguk’s second loud yawn.
“Guys, we’re four seemingly grown-up dudes. We can’t be uncool and go
sightseeing for teddy bears, can we?” Taehyung pouts and Jeongguk sucks in deep
breath to spit something but is cut by the leader. “This Loveland is
adventurous, plus you kids can learn something for future references and
Jeonggukie? The youngest? He doesn’t even look his age. With that muscles and
thighs, he can trick anyone into being a 26 years old pervert—”
“Hey!”
“—so yeah, let’s do this!”
One second silence. Then a huff.
“I still won’t agree! You prevented these two from rooming together so they
won’t have sex and now you’re directing them to somewhere that can trigger
their ideas and hormones? No fucking way—”
“But this is not just for them! You can learn too, don’t you want to be
sexually creative later on?”
None of them realize the way Jeongguk’s rolling his eyes before he nudges
Taehyung who’s trying to stop the two from arguing.
“What, no! I don’t need to be sexually creative! Who the fuck do I want to have
sex with to do any of that? I—”
“Don’t you have boyfriend, Jiminie?”
Just a look from Jeongguk and Taehyung nods to where his boyfriend juts his
chin to.
“I don’t have boyfriend! The one I want as my boyfriend is too dumb to realize
it and I feel like kicking him in the ass at the moment.”
“Really? Why? Who’s that guy?”
“The guy is—”
Jeongguk and Taehyung already more than ten steps away from the other two when
they freeze to hear Jimin scream “Kim Taehyung, it’s bro before hoe! How dare
you leave me—”
They crack into laughter, Jeongguk taking Taehyung’s hand into his and running
straight for the exit of the station. They only slow down once they deem none
of the oblivious duo would come after them. Still, Jeongguk doesn’t let go,
tightening his grip and pulling Taehyung close to his side when some tourists
crowd in their way. Taehyung is only too happy to sway their entwined palms,
grinning when Jeongguk sideglancing him.
“Dumbheads. I wonder how long would it take until they confess to each other,”
Jeongguk offhandedly comments and it’s followed by Taehyung’s light chuckle.
“I hope it’s not too long. It’s driving Jimin insane day by day,” only then he
notices they’re pacing without aim. “Where are we heading to?”
“To anywhere you want to go,” Jeongguk grins, bringing their hands up to plant
a kiss on the back of Taehyung’s hand before he steps in front of him, walking
in reverse so he can still stare on that beautiful face as he asks
mysteriously. “But first, we need transportation for that right?”
Taehyung laughs, pointing to his back. “The bus station is the opposite way
though.”
“That’s because we’re not going by bus. We gonna take something different.”
“What then? A train?”
Taehyung swears Jeongguk needs to stop giving him that bunny smile with a
little lopsided smirk that showcases his dimple. Or else Taehyung gonna kiss
him so hard and never stop.
“Follow me,” is all he whispers before Jeongguk faces the front again and pulls
Taehyung into a run.
Excitement and anticipation building in them, running with laughter down a few
more blocks before they round into a small alley and stop to face what
Taehyung’s eyes detect as Yamaha superbike but his mind barely believes it.
Jeongguk’s still grinning with a hint of mischief in those doe eyes while he
lets go of Taehyung for the elder to take conscious steps toward the bike.
“Jeon Jeongguk,” he turns back to shake his head at his unbelievable boyfriend.
“This…Is this even legal?”
“Nope, but what a couple of teens traveling together without being rebellious.”
Jeongguk shrugs with zero care. He’s been planning for this from the very time
Taehyung agreed to come here with him after all. It’s reckless and entirely
bonkers but it’s also totally him, a daredevil just for fun.
Taehyung’s disbelief stare follows him as Jeongguk walks over to pick up one of
the two metallic black helmets. He puts it on, lifts its visor before holding
out the other one to Taehyung.
“You in?”
It sounds like a very tempting challenge yet another part of Taehyung, the part
that’s very much aware of the danger behind this is urging him to resolve for
something safer. However on the second thought, he didn’t ditch Jimin just to
back out now. They can either get caught by the police for speeding around
without a valid license for superbike or they both simply die. But well,
falling for Jeongguk and his madness never mean to be safe after all. So with
his lips tug into a thin smile, Taehyung accepts the helmet from him.
“Just don’t get us killed,” he says once he’s on the leather seat, couldn’t see
Jeongguk’s face yet knows he’s smirking from the way he turns slightly to a
side.
“Isn’t it a bit late to say that when you’re already on the ride?”
“It is, but I believe you.”
Jeongguk’s chuckle gets drowned by the roar of the engine as soon as he kicks
the curb.
“You have any places you wanna go in particular?” Jeongguk still remembers to
ask despite his idea of commuting around is a bit life-risking, and Taehyung
grins gratefully as he leans forward until he can loop his entire arms around
Jeongguk’s middle, chest presses against that broad back.
“Don’t care, just take me with you. I wanna be with you.”
“Anywhere?”
“Anywhere.” Without a second thought.
“Alright, baby. Hold on tight.”
And then they’re off, accelerating against the wind as if the world is just an
empty medium with the two of them the sole beings.
===============================================================================
 
What a trip to Jeju Island if they’re just going to skip the beach so they
decide to have a plain, cliché beach date. They let it pass without anymore
surprises or extravagant plans despite it being their first official date since
they both believe this is just a start to a thousand other dates and special
celebrations so the ocean is enough for now.
Jeongguk may or may not have spent the entire amount from one of his credit
cards sponsored by one and only Dr. Jeon to rent the Yamaha, yet it’s left
without much care by the beachside as soon as Taehyung takes off his shoes to
feel his toes dig into the sand and pulls Jeongguk with him. It’s worth it
though, seeing how Taehyung can’t stop giggling as he splashes water to
Jeongguk, laughing harder when he gets to wet their pants up to the knees and
form blotches to the front of Jeongguk’s shirt. He doesn’t hide the way he
ogles his visible abs once it sticks to his skin but Jeongguk tackles him down
to the sand, rolling a few times and messing up their clothes with brown dust.
Soon enough they befriend the local kids, joining them in sandcastle building
and Jeongguk even gets competitive when he attempts to build a taller castle
compared to one little boy, only to pout in defeat when the kids team up to
crush his tower. The sight is a good laugh for everyone but Taehyung kisses the
pout away instantly rather than to risk Jeongguk picking out a fight with mere
5 year-olds. Jeongguk drags Taehyung away from them, insisting they shouldn’t
be improper in front of the kids but Taehyung knows he’s just bitter about his
loss. It’s a good choice nevertheless, because Taehyung soon finds a new
interest in chasing after a group of seagulls, trying to convince one to be his
pet because “isn’t it cool that Harry Potter got Hedwig as his messenger while
I have a seagull to send you love letters?”
“Romantic,” Jeongguk states dryly. “But why seagull? It isn’t as cute as an
owl.”
“Yeah, it’s not that cute but it looks like you.”
“Hey I’m cute!”
“Hmph, let’s see,” Taehyung cups his cheeks with his palms, pinching them
forward until his mouth juts out like a pout, similar to the beak of a seagull.
Taehyung laughs, smashing a noisy kiss on it. “Very cute.”
They move on to a game, building a mini sand mountain with a wooden stick
stands by the center of it and the rule is just an obvious excuse to kiss each
other but “each time you remove the sand and the stick moves even an inch, your
opponent gets to kiss you.”
“There’s no real loser then,” Taehyung mutters, glaring at Jeongguk while he
shakes his head to disagree.
“Here’s the main deal, if the stick totally falls the time you remove the sand,
you need to make out with your opponent and buy him ice cream.”
“No fair! Choose only one, you can’t get double treat just because the stick
decides to be a bitch.”
A sigh.
“Well you want to kiss me or not?”
“I want ice cream, so I’ll win!”
Jeongguk wants to say something along the line of “how dare you don’t want to
kiss me?!” but the sly little devil is faster in grabbing a fistful of sand and
throwing it away. Now Jeongguk’s focus switches to scrutinizing the stick so
that each time it moves during Taehyung’s turn, he gets a kiss. His boyfriend
in return, is being as meticulous as he can to not let the stick move just
because he likes to see the pout growing bigger on Jeongguk’s face each time he
misses the kiss. Still, like Taehyung said, there’s no real loser because
Jeongguk scoops up a big chunk of sand during his turn, resulting the stick to
incline lower and lower and without missing a beat, he leans forward to peck
the elder on his lips.
As the mountain growing thinner, Taehyung starts to plan how to win the game
for the sake of his precious ice cream. He can’t risk losing his money for
Jeongguk’s ice cream when his boyfriend is the rich jerk. Instead of scooping a
bunch of it, he digs a finger into the sand and flicks it aside. And then
laughs once Jeongguk shoots him a dirty look.
“That’s cheating! That can’t be counted!”
“Yes, it can! The action is to just remove the sand. No quantity stated so even
a pinch of it is valid!”
Jeongguk scrunches his nose, clicking his tongue as he clearly disagrees but as
Taehyung senses he’s about to repeat the same trick, he waits until Jeongguk
plants his fingers into the sand and then, he blows the stick.
“That’s it! I win! Yeay!” Taehyung cheers, standing up and kicking what remains
of the flatten sand to Jeongguk’s face before he squeaks and jumps away when
Jeongguk scrambles forward to catch him. It ensures a series of running along
the shore with Taehyung’s nonstop giggling and Jeongguk calling after him
loudly. They get eyes from tourists and locals but none actually pays them
attention once Jeongguk grabs a hold of his elbow, spinning Taehyung around and
pushes him down until Taehyung is flat on the sand.
“Stop laughing over your cheating, you cheater,” Jeongguk says as Taehyung
still flashing him wide grin in his laughter, gazing up to him. Taehyung, with
soft brown hair splaying against the sand and tan skin reflecting bright under
the sun of Jeju, couldn’t be more beautiful with the smile in his dreamy eyes
and the pink flush on his cheeks. Jeongguk could barely believe the boy under
him is his, feeling winded of air when Taehyung links his arms around his neck
and pulls him chest to chest against his own body.
“Don’t you have a penalty you need to pay?” He whispers on his lips, gently
grazing the slightly chapped skin and Jeongguk breathes through it, inhaling
Taehyung as much as he can.
“I thought you only wanted to win for ice cream.”
Taehyung smirks, ducking his head upward to bump his forehead to Jeongguk’s,
affectionate. “Silly. If I won and had to pay for your ice cream, we’ll still
be making out right?”
Right, so Jeongguk waits no more, lowering his face and capturing those lips he
constantly yearns for. Taehyung kisses back just as passionately, letting his
mouth fall open for Jeongguk’s tongue and whimpering as he gets greedy of
Jeongguk’s taste, of the softness of his lips, of the way his tongue explores
and licks each inch of Taehyung’s mouth and of the sharpness of his teeth
biting his lower lip only to soothe the addictive pain once he’s back sucking
on it.
They pull away eventually, deciding to regulate their breathing back to normal
by lying across the sand, basking in the way the wind cooling their heated skin
and the wave whistling melodies to them. Jeongguk’s jacket is cushioning his
head while Taehyung rests on his chest, head tucked under his chin and arms
wrapped tightly around him, looking so content with his eyes close.  
“Thank you,” Taehyung murmurs after a while. Jeongguk frowns to the blue skies,
fingers still tangling in Taehyung’s hair.
“For what?”
“For asking me to come here with you. I had never been outside of Seoul since I
moved to the city so this is my first trip, you’re my first escape. I have so
much fun, thank you.”
It makes Jeongguk fall silent. If somebody asks what would happen to him and
Taehyung the day he came to the club that night for revenge, Jeongguk wouldn’t
even think to say they would end up like this. But here they are, pressed close
together with arms that never want to let go and hearts beating solely for one
another—Jeongguk wouldn’t have it any other way, wouldn’t even trade it for a
successful revenge because right now, hurting Taehyung seems so unthinkable to
him. Happiness is all he wants for Taehyung.
“You’re my first escape too. I had never been too far from home, having no
reason to since I can’t leave my mother alone and I don’t really have friends
to do so. I usually just got out for my dance competitions. So no need to thank
me. I’m glad you’re here, with me,” he laces his free hand with Taehyung’s hand
on his chest, bringing it up until he can litter kisses on his palm, over his
slender knuckles.
Taehyung is nowhere near small. He is, in fact, the perfect size of a 19-year-
old boy. Yet every inch of him always appears so delicate, so beautiful like a
porcelain doll that can be broken with the slightest push and because of that,
Jeongguk takes extra care with gentle touches and soft caresses. His heart
feels so full with adoration he wonders when it all would burst for Taehyung.
“The superbike ride, it’s the 75th on my Perfect Boyfriend list.”
“So you noticed?” Jeongguk smiles, feeling the tip of Taehyung’s finger tracing
random patterns on his chest.
Taehyung sits up, adjusting his position until he has both hands by each side
of Jeongguk’s head, staring down at him, eyes soft.
“You do memorize all of it huh?”
Jeongguk grins, palms tightening around his waist so he can press Taehyung’s
front firmer to his chest.
“I’m not perfect but I’m trying. I just wanna be the best for you.”
“Do you keep it somewhere with you?”
“Yeah, I have it in my phone,” he answers before groping into his pocket for
the device, handing it over to Taehyung after he has the note displayed on the
screen. Jeongguk already has the list in his mind but he saved it just in case
he misses anything.
“These are all my dreams,” Taehyung smiles, scrolling over it. “Wishful dreams
since I never thought I would have the luxury to meet and fall for anybody. I
haven’t even yet fully figured out my life.
“But then I met you,” his eyes jump to Jeongguk, smiling wider. “And you’re so
annoying for intruding everything but I guess, that’s why you’re a dream too.”
“Tae…” he calls out gently, unable to react when Taehyung touches the ‘delete’
button without hesitation. He inserts the phone back to where it was kept and
brings both hands to cup Jeongguk’s face, staring so deep into his eyes
something in Jeongguk stirs.
“I don’t need them anymore. You don’t need to make them come true because they
no longer feel like dreams to me. You alone Jeonggukie,” one swift kiss is
placed on his lips, “is a dream to me. As long as I have you, it’s enough. My
dream’s fulfilled.”
Jeongguk swallows, feeling a little foolish for the tears blurring his sight
but unable to stop his heart from melting all the same. Taehyung is so
endearing and charming, Jeongguk doesn’t deserve him.
He sits up, letting Taehyung fit into his lap and winding hands around his
waist so he can tongue-kiss him again before breathing harshly into his mouth,
feeling short of air both from the admission and the strong feeling he has
somewhere in his chest.
He doesn’t want yet to admit this feeling but it’s only growing for Taehyung.
It scares him.
Jeongguk rests his forehead to Taehyung’s, asking helplessly of “Why are you so
greasy?”
Taehyung giggles. “I don’t know, maybe we should wash it off with the ice
cream?”
They both laugh, the intense air evaporating away and Jeongguk kisses his
forehead one last time before nudging Taehyung to stand up.
“Come on then, baby. Let’s get you ice cream.”
Hand in hand, they hit the line of stalls and kiosks scattered along the
beachside. Taehyung gets his strawberry Sundae, while Jeongguk chooses
chocolate cone before they resume exploring the souvenirs until a tiger
figurine catches Taehyung’s sight. He beams at it.  
“Jeonggukie, come look at this!” He reaches for it the same time another hand
touches the ornament with “hyung, this is so cute!”
Taehyung glances up to the person beside him to see a very familiar face he met
frequently in the club. His eyes widen and the name of that person is at the
tip of his tongue when another tall figure appears right behind the man.
Taehyung looks up, noticing both persons in front of him have their eyes over
him.
“Seokjin hyung,” Jeongguk calls out from behind Taehyung.
The older man smiles, snaking an arm around his fiancé and pulling Namjoon to
his side. “Fancy seeing you here, Jeongguk.”
===============================================================================
 
Jeongguk has always known the world is round, has always been taught so as
early as he can differentiate the shapes. He knows the concept that no matter
how far you travel around the globe, you would still end up at the same point
someday. Yet little has he thought the globe could be so small, so narrow that
it’s so easy to collide him with the people he knows in his life the second he
lets his guard down.
Jeongguk slowly brings his gaze up to across the table he’s sitting at, seeing
the person closest to his father and quite possible of holding of sort of
secrets about Dr. Jeon and Jeongguk can’t stop the feeling like he’s being
exposed. The slight shake to his hands and the racing thumps in his heart are
signaling the nerve in him. He tries to keep it low, repeatedly telling himself
everything is still okay for now.
His father doesn’t yet find out about Taehyung and him.
Taehyung possibly doesn’t know who Seokjin is to his father.
He sneaks a quick glance to the boy beside him, detecting any changes of
expression, yet all he sees is nothing out of ordinary. Taehyung is in fact too
engrossed in choosing his lunch that his attention never budges away from the
menu, eager to pick one from many of the local delicacies. Jeongguk sighs under
his breath, chasing away his worry only to catch a pair of eyes studying him
closely from the opposite.
The club DJ he had suspected to somehow has connection with Seokjin from the
matching rings they have is quick to avert his eyes once they meet Jeongguk’s.
He isn’t as chatty or loud as he was whenever Jeongguk visited the club and
when Jeongguk continues to watch him, the DJ blindly picks up his glass,
wanting to sip on it, only to knock it off from his clumsy hand.
Seokjin tuts, grabbing his own napkin to dab it upon the table and stop the
liquid from wetting the rest of the top. The DJ apologizes with a pout but
Jeongguk sees as clear as the day, the very fond way Seokjin is regarding him
even as he chastises the other to be careful.
“Why are you acting as if you haven’t met me before, Rapmon-sshi?” He slips the
question without much thought, being the first person to open the conversation
around the rather awkward table. The DJ splutters, straightening on his seat.
“It’s Kim Namjoon,” he corrects him, showcasing the dimples from his smile. “My
real name. Call me that instead, Rapmon is my name as the club DJ.”
“I figured,” Jeongguk nods, only to notice the calculative stare Seokjin is
giving him. The oldest eyes’ shifts next to him and Jeongguk clears his throat.
“Hyung, this is—”
“Baby Taetae?”
It’s Taehyung’s turn to fidget uncomfortably, clearly not expecting Seokjin to
expose the cheesy nickname of the boy he once saw. Seokjin chuckles when
Jeongguk looks close to being offended while Taehyung is red on the cheeks.
“Don’t look so conflicted. I just happened to see your ID when he picked up
your call,” the oldest takes pity and explains, which causes Taehyung to relax
again. Then he smiles and bows his head, polite.
“I’m Kim Taehyung. Nice to meet you…” he glances at Jeongguk for help. His
younger boyfriend rolls his eyes, regarding Seokjin’s proud smile boringly.
“This is Seokjin hyung, personal assistant of my father.”
Taehyung nods, staring some more on Seokjin as if he’s trying to recall
something.
“I see, but it feels like I’ve seen you before,” this brings back the rigid on
Jeongguk’s body while Seokjin raises an eyebrow. Taehyung leans forward to the
table to ask him. “Have we, somehow, met in the club?”
Jeongguk doesn’t miss the surprise on Namjoon’s face, eyes nervously darting to
his fiancé. But Seokjin is unchanging, expression remains calm as he smiles at
him, dumbfounded.
“The club? Which club?”
“Taehyung works in the same club as Namjoon. If you two are cozy enough to be
found hugging in Jeju,” Namjoon flinches at this but Jeongguk doesn’t deter by
the sharp glare from Seokjin, continuing with “you should know which club it
is.”
“Ah, that club?” Seokjin questions to his fiancé, clearly faking it.
“Hmm, not sure. What makes you think you’ve seen me around, Taehyung?” He looks
back to the younger boy.
“Em, just…” Taehyung contemplates. “Maybe I’ve mistaken you. It’s usually too
dark in there to recognize everyone anyway,” he finishes with that at last but
Jeongguk doesn’t let Seokjin rest, not when he has caused his dear darling to
feel confused. So he asks “Is Namjoon your fiancé?”
The table is caught in silence once more, seconds ticking heavily.
“Yes, he is. We’re cozy enough to be found hugging here after all,” Seokjin
returns the sarcasm, speaking with confidence but Jeongguk catches the shut it
nowin his eyes. The youngest smirks, he isn’t going to stop.
“Well, congratulations on your engagement then. It’s quite a regret I never got
invited.”
Funny enough, Namjoon laughs, shaking his head. “It was nothing, just a small
ceremony between the two of us.”
“Why? Because you didn’t want people to—”
“How long have you been dating?” Seokjin is quick to fire back.
Jeongguk feels his palms tightening on his lap but, yes, two can play this
game. He opens his mouth to answer, only that Taehyung is quicker.
“Not too long. Just over a month and a few weeks,” Jeongguk side-eyes him, he
looks unsuspecting.
“Wow. And you guys already have a date up till here in Jeju? That’s a fast
progression.”
“Nothing’s too fast if you know how you feel,” reasons Jeongguk, doesn’t like
seeing the discomfort growing again on Taehyung’s face.
Seokjin hums, perching his chin over the back of his palms as he stands his
elbows on the table. “Hmm, young love.”
Just then the waiter comes back with their meals, serving the plate one by one
in between them and Namjoon barks out a laugh too forced to be considered
funny.
“It’s here! Let’s eat!” He dives straight for the mashed potatoes, pausing the
spoon halfway to his mouth when nobody else moves around the table. His eyes
blink to Seokjin. “Shall…we?”
All Seokjin does is laugh as well, ruffling Namjoon on his platinum colored
hair. “We shall, love. Dig in.”
And the rest of the lunch goes by with merry conversation between Taehyung and
Namjoon, mostly discussing about the DJ’s upcoming tracks for the club and when
Seokjin excuses himself to pay for all of them, Jeongguk trails after him to
the cashier.
“Hyung,” Seokjin looks back while pulling out his card. “You look wary, what’s
wrong?”
Jeongguk doesn’t want to ask of this but he also refuses for his father to get
in their way just when everything’s going smoothly between Taehyung and him.
It’s too early and there’s still so much he needs to figure out himself so,
“You’re not gonna tell my father about Taehyung,” he says, final and resolute.
Seokjin furrows.
“Why? Is he someone should be hidden?”
“I won’t question you anymore of why you decided to keep your engagement
secret. But in return, please don’t say anything to my father.”
Seokjin thanks the cashier, taking his time in keeping his card back into his
wallet before he gives Jeongguk a pointed look.
“Then I need to know something before I promise you that.”
Jeongguk waits, expression guarded just like the rest of him.
“Did you meet him in the club? Is he your boyfriend because of your feeling for
each other or because you want to keep him close for other motive?” Jeongguk
feels his confusion arise.
“Why are you asking me this?”
“Because I need to make sure you’re not making a mistake, Jeonggukie,” he
steals a quick glance through Jeongguk’s shoulders, no doubt looking at
Taehyung who’s still joking with Namjoon.
“I’m more than just your father’s PA, I’m your brother,” Jeongguk knows the
worried tone when he hears it. “I don’t want you to take a false step that
would hurt you in the end.”
He stares sharply up at him.
“What would hurt me?” Seokjin appears like he doesn’t have the heart to say it
but have to.
“Him.”
It’s just a simple word but Jeongguk swears he hears something break in him.
Because it refers to none other than Taehyung.
“Break up with him.”
“Hyung—”
“Whether you truly like him or he’s just a tool to your motive, you still
shouldn’t be together.”
Jeongguk’s nose flares, breathing heavily as he tries to reply something,
anything. Yet he also knows none of his excuses is strong enough. And Seokjin’s
right.
“He’s more than just a club worker, Jeonggukie,” the PA steps closer to him,
almost whispering. “You know, I know. Stop this while you still can.”
Jeongguk shakes his head, unable to accept it. “I found his blood record the
other day.”
It stops Seokjin from walking away.
“Is my father using him for something?”
He couldn’t make it to the answer, again, because it’s just in time when
Namjoon and Taehyung approach them. He gets a bouncy sweetheart by his side the
next second who calling out his name.
“Jeonggukie—”
But Taehyung instantly shuts up once he realizes something thick is going on
between the PA and his boyfriend, watching them back and forth until Seokjin
sighs.
“Dr. Jeon is doing everything he can, you should wait until he’s ready to tell
you.”
===============================================================================
 
He can only wait for so long, that’s for sure.
He hasn’t found a single clue that can relate Taehyung to Dr. Jeon except for
the fact that they met through the club, his father does pay his boyfriend for
a reason other than sex and just recently, he found Taehyung’s blood record in
the hospital owns by other than Dr. Jeon. The closest assumption he could guess
is that it has something to do with Taehyung’s health.
Jeongguk looks sideway to the senior, studying him up and down. As long as he’s
known the boy, he looks as healthy as a human being can be. He’s not pale,
never skips the school for cold or headache and he works just fine in his day
to day life. So it confuses and scares Jeongguk of the possibility of Taehyung
being sick. Yet as he thinks deeper, what kind of sickness Taehyung could have
that results to him getting paid from his father?
“Jeonggukie? Jeongguk-ah? Yah, Jeon Jeongguk!” He snaps, gaze coming into focus
of Taehyung waving his palm to his face and frowning at him.
“Are you okay?” Jeongguk shakes his head, forcing himself to put aside the
thoughts.
Even though he’s tempted to ask the boy before him of his own health condition,
he doesn’t want to ruin this date. This is the time for Taehyung to be happy,
not getting distracted just because Jeongguk is desperate to dig every truth.
“Let’s just go back to hotel. You look tired, you should rest for the
competition tomorrow,” Taehyung pats him on the cheek, face so concern that
Jeongguk turns his face to kiss inside his wrist.
“I’m fine. Do you have anywhere else you wanna go?”
Taehyung pretends to think for a while, ends up flashing Jeongguk a giddy
smile.
“Or we can just chill at my room, see if we can make out and annoy the hell out
of Jiminie,” Jeongguk scrunches his nose over Taehyung’s little cheer. But he
would be damned if he is to deny him.
“Sounds like a plan. But,” he levels a mysterious gaze to him, getting Taehyung
cutely blinks. “But?”
“It’s your turn to drive me back. Do you dare to ride the bike?” He challenges
him, watching as Taehyung turns from clueless to enlarging his eyes and to
showing his tempting smirk. His gaze screams trouble just as similar to
Jeongguk’s problematic mind.
“Race you there, big boy,” is all he gets before Taehyung dashes away and
Jeongguk gasps, trying to keep up.
The restaurant they ate at before Seokjin and Namjoon left was quite far from
where they parked the superbike. It means they have to sprint along the same
line of shops, dodging the thick crowd in the midst of shopping there in order
to get closer to the beach. One time all he hears is Taehyung’s booming
laughter. Another time the thunder strikes, raindrops drizzling against the
roof of the kiosks before it switch to a full-fledged downpour within the next
split second. Jeongguk looks ahead if Taehyung is getting somewhere for
shelter. No, he continues running, laughing with his arms spread open to both
of his sides and enjoying the way the rain is soaking him thoroughly. Of
course, Jeongguk is not one to back down on pointless fun so he rushes forward,
willing his legs to run faster. And it’s all game until Taehyung trips over the
wet pavement, falling butt first to the ground.
“God, Tae!” Jeongguk is bending by his side the next second, grabbing Taehyung
by his shoulders to help him up. “Are you okay? Do you hurt somewhere? Can you
get up?”
Yet Taehyung is all too joyous, laughter and giggle never leave him as he lets
Jeongguk fuss over him without a single care, staring up to him through his
smiling eyes and wet eyelashes. Jeongguk hisses.
“Why are you laughing? You should be careful—”
He doesn’t get to nag further, words instantly die when his collar being pulled
down and Taehyung’s lips are already against his. The confusion lasts two
seconds before he’s kissing back, caring not about the passersby splashing the
rain to them in their haste to get under a roof.
“I finally got to try that, kissing someone handsome in the rain,” Taehyung
says once he gently pulls back, wiping the drops dry from Jeongguk’s mouth.
“Fool,” Jeongguk flicks him on the nose, feeling the tremble of Taehyung’s body
as he circles his arms around him. “Let’s get you somewhere warm.”
===============================================================================
 
Taehyung raps his fingers against the glassy window of the washing machine,
watching it spin as he waits for his clothes to become clean and dry. Somewhere
warmis just equal to the nearest laundry shop they can get to since both of
them were soaked from head to toes and they aren’t dare enough to risk riding
superbike in the heavy rain to get back to the hotel. So they choose to wait
until the rain stops and use the time to actually get their clothes dried. 
“Son, here, some spare clothes for you,” the owner of the laundry place, an old
lady, greets him from behind and Taehyung turns smiling to her just in time she
hands him another set of t-shirt and sweatpants, knowing these are for Jeongguk
since he’s got his own from the moment they entered the shop and the grandma
nagged loudly looking at their wet clothes.
“Ah, thank you, grandma. We’ll use these while waiting for ours to dry up.”
“No matter, just use it,” she waves it off, scanning around the laundry room.
“Where’s the other boy?”
“He’s changing his clothes. I’ll pass these later to him.”
“Okay, then. I’ll leave you two here for now, just come to the front if you
need anything else.”
“Yeah, sure. Thanks again, grandma,” he doesn’t forget to bow to her, grateful
that she’s willing to borrow them this much when she knows better of what
careless teenagers they are, playing in the rain when they can actuallyfind
shelter.
He watches until she disappears out of the room, closing the door to this four-
walled space that keeps about more than eight washing machines, each running to
get the attires from the customers cleaned and dried. Taehyung leans his back
on one of them, wondering what took his boyfriend so long in the toilet. But he
totally isn’t prepared to be left breathless once the door opens again and
Jeongguk walks in only with a cotton towel covering from his hips down to his
knees.
He stops right next to Taehyung, still doesn’t aware of his appreciative eyes
roaming from his muscular chest and down to his toned abs as Jeongguk
carelessly dries his hair, sweeping it back with a small towel. Taehyung snaps
out of it, remembering he doesn’t need to feel the rising heat on his cheeks if
Jeongguk actually has something on.
“Here, the grandma gave these for you.”
“Ah, sweet,” Jeongguk throws the towel down atop the machine in front of him to
accept the items. He starts to pull the shirt over his head while Taehyung
tries not to stare at his stretching biceps, refuses for his boyfriend to
notice he’s actually enjoying the show more than he cares to admit. Jeongguk
hisses, pulling it off him again when it wrapped all too tightly around his
body. “I can barely fit this though.”
“That’s because you’re such a muscle pig,” Jeongguk snorts to that comment,
giving up on trying the sweatpants since he knows it won’t go anywhere past his
thighs.
“I’m proud of my own physique, excuse you.”
“Why did you work out so often?”
“I told you, before this I had nothing better to do than school and dance.
Until I hit the gym to exercise since Hobie hyung always reminded us to stay in
shape for good stability during dancing. I got there, addicted, so I guess it
just sort of happened,” he explains, joining Taehyung to have his back
supported by the machine. “It keeps me healthy after all.”
And then they fall silent, Taehyung having nothing else to say since his throat
keeps getting drier when Jeongguk folds his arms across his chest, causing the
biceps he’s been obsessing at to protrude even devastatingly. He has no idea
why he’s like this. This isn’t the first time he’s seen half naked male. Heck,
that’s all he has been seeing throughout his life so far. Naked people
everywhere in the club but there’s something about Jeongguk’s body that just
lures him in. His height, his shoulders, his chest, his muscled stomach, his
veiny arms, his thighs and his legs—he’s just effortlessly perfect.
Before he can stop it, Jeongguk is already exactly in front of him, standing so
close and reaching out to caress his warm cheeks. “You’re red. You okay?”
Taehyung curses him internally, bringing his gaze up to meet Jeongguk’s doe
eyes and feeling hyper conscious of every part where their skins touch.
Taehyung doesn’t answer him, stepping into Jeongguk’s space even more before he
hangs his arms around his neck, pushing his body against that flesh made up of
all packed muscles and shuddering when Jeongguk catches him by his waist, eyes
growing intense.
“Can you…” Taehyung whispers, not feeling sure how to ask yet he wants it. “Can
you kiss me?”
Jeongguk stares at him a little longer, making sure he’s aware of what he asked
for. But Taehyung is impatient, breathing through his mouth as he has half a
mind to chase for those lips himself if Jeongguk still doesn’t move to kiss
him. Fortunately, he needs not to. Jeongguk cranes his head forward and
Taehyung hums with satisfaction once he’s fed with the drug he’s addicted to.
Jeongguk kisses him slow and gentle, savoring every repeated press of pillowy
lips against wet skin. And then he’s fisting the back of Taehyung’s borrowed
shirt, pushing him backward until he’s flushed on the machine again and the
tenderness gone, replaced with only messy kisses of tongues and sharp bites.
Taehyung moans into his mouth, unable to stop it as Jeongguk moves to the side
of his lips, scattering open mouthed kisses there before he nuzzles his jaw and
down to his neck, tugging Taehyung on his hair to tilt his head and bare the
smooth skin to him. He whimpers a bit louder, screwing his eyes shut once he
feels teeth sink on a spot just above his collarbone, clutching Jeongguk hard
on his shoulders as his boyfriend sucks upon the skin to ensure it leaves red
mark that would scream Jeongguk’son Taehyung later.
The older boyfriend couldn’t ignore the urge any longer, burying fingers into
Jeongguk’s thick locks for him to pull harsh enough until Jeongguk groans and
leans away, eyes now totally dark and unfocused. It makes Taehyung tremble
helplessly, anticipation building higher.
“Have you…had sex before?” He struggles to question amidst his unstable
breathing. Jeongguk hesitates to respond, closing and opening his eyes as his
brain doesn’t really function properly at the moment to recall the last time he
got into bed with people. Taehyung urges him, bumping his nose to Jeongguk’s.
“Answer me.”
Because he needs to know. He needs to find out if Jeongguk is okay to go
physical with him since he’s a hooker. It’s natural that people would feel
conscious to be physical with a person who sleeps repeatedly with strangers.
And his boyfriend isn’t exception.
Taehyung knows it would hurt him if Jeongguk denies him but he can at least
try, nevertheless. They just have to mind the precaution, and Taehyung always
puts precaution first throughout his job.  
“Not much,” Jeongguk informs, suddenly looks shy at recalling his phase of try
and error sexually with the kids from his middle school. “Just twice with girls
and once with a boy. They were all sloppy though.”
Taehyung chuckles together with him, willing the nerve away before he pulls
Jeongguk until their foreheads touch. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Wh—what?”
“It doesn’t matter. I still want it,” Taehyung admits against his lips. “I want
you…I—”
He swears he has no other way to voice it out. Maybe he should be bold, just as
the V from the night club.
“Fuck me,” he whispers in one breath, causing Jeongguk to jump his wide eyes
straight up to him. Taehyung gulps upon the visible surprise but he’s not going
to take it back.
“Fuck me, Jeongguk,” he repeats, firmer.
And when Taehyung leans in for another kiss, Jeongguk stops him. His entire
body stiffens to the rejection, instantly reversing away. Taehyung wants to
drop his hands down from Jeongguk, giving them both space and time for his
heart to accept the sudden hurt from the rejection but Jeongguk pulls him back
in. His arms firm around his waist.
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Taehyung, you’re more than just a sex to me,” Jeongguk reasons softly,
whispering close to his face. “I don’t want to rush into this. I know what sex
can mean to you and I don’t want to force you into anything—”
“Jeongguk, I never see you as my customer,” the younger pauses, watching him
closely as he takes his turn to explain his desire.
“Don’t you remember the first time we met? I told you, you were not my customer
and you will never be. Not before, now or ever. So I’m sticking to it,” they
both understand the doubt. Taehyung knows Jeongguk is just making sure they
don’t do any mistake but want to be physically involved with his boyfriend
isn’t a mistake. Taehyung is aware where he stands and he will accept it on his
own willing. No one is forcing or paying him for this.
“I want you, I want to have you in that way and I’m okay going this far in our
relationship.”
But Jeongguk lets out a sigh, shaking his head slowly as he looks down,
avoiding Taehyung’s determined gaze.
“I don’t want to take advantage on you,” he quietly replies.
“Advantage? Jesus, Jeongguk, people seek me for sex,” the younger tries to hush
him but Taehyung continues stubbornly. “They pay me for it but it doesn’t mean
I’m happy doing it. But I know I’ll be happy if you touch me, love me, just—”
It’s his turn to sigh.
“You don’t have to feel like you’re taking advantage on me,” all Jeongguk does
is staring, still making no move. So Taehyung swallows and looks straight back
at him, fingers tightening around the hair at Jeongguk’s nape.
“Don’t you…don’t you want me?” His tone pleading, close to giving up because if
Jeongguk isn’t ready, Taehyung would be the one to not force him into it.
Jeongguk growls, expression disbelief as he surges forward and cages Taehyung
between him and the machine, speaking desperately into his mouth. “Don’t
fucking kidding me. You have no idea how hard it was to stop from going all the
way with you the time I blew you before.”
Taehyung still remembers the slight disappointment the night Jeongguk left
without allowing him to make him come that moment in the club. Taehyung laughs
breathlessly, hands traveling back up along his chest and resting on his
shoulders.
“Then let’s finish what we started,” one peck to Jeongguk’s lips. “I didn’t
make you come last time. I must make you come now.”
And no more words needed. Jeongguk dives forward while Taehyung meets him
halfway, replying his deep groan with his own moan when Taehyung licks into his
mouth. They kisses a few more minutes up until they have to separate for air
and Taehyung uses the chance to get down to his knees, palms purposefully brush
over Jeongguk’s hardening cock as he roams his hands owningly from his hips and
down along those thick thighs, excited by the idea of sitting between the
muscular legs and pleasuring the boy he grows to love.
Taehyung drags his gaze coyly up to meet Jeongguk’s hooded eyes, hands hovering
over the white cotton, asking in silent the permission to strip it off. Only
when Jeongguk tangles his fingers in his hair, grabbing a handful of it that
Taehyung slowly untangles the thin fabric. Once it pools down around Jeongguk’s
ankles, Taehyung allows his eyes to finally meet the hard on right before his
face and he’s wholly unprepared of the way his mouth waters at an instant. The
sight of Jeongguk’s dick stands hard and aching against his stomach gives
Taehyung an unforgiving hunger that he hasn’t felt for so long. He waits no
more to suck at the tip of it, relishing in the way a groan escapes past
Jeongguk’s mouth and his fingers tug just a little bit stronger on his hair.
Taehyung immediately settles into a rhythm, moving from wetting his mouth with
the precum and licking the salty taste to sweeping his tongue along the
underneath of Jeongguk’s length. It excites him even more when he steals a look
up and sees Jeongguk already has his eyes close, head thrown back to reveal his
neck popping with veins each time he couldn’t stand the pleasure brought by
Taehyung’s mouth.
Somewhere at the back of his mind, he still has half the conscious of the
possibility to be caught red-handed in this scandalous position. The grandma or
anybody could enter through the door and have the unlucky fate of seeing them.
Yet instead of rushing to finish this to back being proper, Taehyung takes his
time, opening his mouth as wide as he can and swallowing Jeongguk little by
little. He doesn’t stop until he feels the tip hit the back of his throat and
Jeongguk moans, bucking his hips forward just a bit to signal for Taehyung to
get to work already.
His older boyfriend gags from the unexpected push, moaning around the hard cock
and the vibration only adds to the high Jeongguk is feeling. He loses his
patience and tugs harshly upon the hair he already clutches in his hand.
Taehyung quickly follows the order, bopping his head around the dick, sucking
him with all he has. 
“Shit, Tae—”
Jeongguk doesn’t get to warn him that he’s coming when Taehyung all of a sudden
sinks his nails into the flesh of his thighs where he’s holding on and the pain
he receives jolt straight to his dick, causing the load to shoot out and
flooding the inside of Taehyung’s mouth. He slams both palms to the machine
before him for support as Taehyung swallows the rest, sucking the length until
Jeongguk moans brokenly and his head drops down into the curve of his elbow,
panting vigorously.
Taehyung leaves one last kiss to the head before leaning away, meeting
Jeongguk’s eyes just as he glances up and wipes the come and his own saliva off
his mouth with the back of his hand. Jeongguk then helps him up to his legs
again after taking one deep breath, relearning to calm himself down from his
post orgasm before he pulls Taehyung to him and captures his lips, kissing just
to share the remaining of his taste from Taehyung’s mouth. He shudders, feeling
oddly proud of the knowledge that Taehyung swallowed it, like another mark of
his that he leaves deep in Taehyung.
“Brace yourself there, baby,” Jeongguk instructs, releasing the intoxicating
lips so he can maneuverTaehyung until his back is on him and his front facing
the steadily running machine, both palms plastered against the glass.
He doesn’t forget to leave a light push to the inside of Taehyung’s wrist as a
warning that his hands should stay there without moving to anywhere else.
Taehyung inhales audibly, watching Jeongguk through the reflection as he
travels his large, warm palms starting from his shoulders, down along the curve
of Taehyung’s waist and until he stops by each side of his hips. Jeongguk keeps
his eyes on Taehyung, doesn’t want to miss the anticipation in his expression
as Jeongguk rubs circles there over the shirt before he slips his hands inside
and pulls it up. Taehyung helps him discarding the fabric away, and then
returning to his position earlier as Jeongguk removes his pants and boxers as
well.
Taehyung expects him to stand back up, yet all he feels the next second is
Jeongguk’s hands spreading his buttcheeks apart and the ghost of his hot breath
tickling exactly at his hole. Taehyung whines, not ready at all to get
Jeongguk’s tongue in him but his boyfriend doesn’t delay the action any longer.
He only gets a brief squeeze to his butt before Jeongguk licks across his hole.
Public laundry room or not, there’s nothing can stop Taehyung from spilling the
wanton moans from his mouth, awares the obscene sound echoing throughout the
room and still pays no fuck to censor himself.
Soon enough Jeongguk pushes his tongue into the tight wall and it’s all that
Taehyung can do to remain upward as he claws against the glass, getting the
surface foggy with his breath as he leans to it. Thrusting in and out of the
elder, Jeongguk admits he couldn’t get enough of the raw taste of his boyfriend
so he sucks upon the clenching rim, enjoying the desperate whines and whimpers
he’s rewarded with.
“Honey, I—” Taehyung gasps, making a mental note that if Jeongguk keeps this
up, he probably couldn’t last long. Having his tongue in him is great but
Taehyung’s pretty sure having something else from Jeongguk is going to feel
fantastic. So he pleads, crying out when Jeongguk sucks particularly hard
around his hole. “Jeongguk, please—fuck me…”
Much to his surprise, Jeongguk suddenly stops. Gone is the warmth from his
tongue and breath as Taehyung whines sharply, feeling his boyfriend stand up
and caging him close to the machine, hands squishing his globe appreciatively.
“No, baby. Save that for another day,” is what Jeongguk whispers into his ear,
biting the lobe lightly before he cranes Taehyung’s head to him and kisses him.
The kisses are rough and fast as Jeongguk pulls away even before Taehyung gets
enough of him. He then replaces his mouth with his fingers, pushing three at
once for Taehyung to suck and coat it with his spit which his elder boyfriend
gladly does, glassy eyes staring eagerly at him through the mirror that
Jeongguk growls. He pulls his fingers away, leaving Taehyung gasps with
emptiness and then inserting the first finger without so much warning.
The elder bites his lower lip, doesn’t let the pain shooting through him to
come out as a sound while Jeongguk sets into constant in and out thrusting. He
waits a little longer this time for Taehyung to adjust until the elder subtly
pushing back on his finger that he adds the second. Jeongguk kisses across
Taehyung’s shoulder blades, tilting his head forward to get his mouth on the
side of Taehyung’s neck before he sucks another mark there, revels in the way
it hitches Taehyung’s breath.   
“I’m gonna keep fingering you until you come, baby. Just like this,” Jeongguk
rasps, adding the third and last finger, tracing around the rim before he
surges deeper and brushes on that bundle of nerve that causes Taehyung to
release a high pitched moan, surely resonating out of the room. Jeongguk
focuses on thrusting there now that he’s found the core to Taehyung’s pleasure,
wishing he could record the nonsense blabbering Taehyung makes now as it’s a
combination of his name, pleas, moans and whimpers matching the constant
movement of Jeongguk finger-fucking him.
“That’s it, baby,” Jeongguk whispers, nuzzling the back of Taehyung’s ear.
“Come for me.”
And with that, he drives all three fingers one last time into Taehyung’s
stretched out hole, resulting to Taehyung’s loud cry. His body bends forward
and white strings splurt out of his cock to land messily to his stomach and
some on the machine in front of him. Jeongguk pulls Taehyung to rest against
him by the waist, letting his head fall on his shoulder and turning to shower
little kisses all over the side of his face, a long one on his mouth where
Taehyung kisses back weakly. When he deems it’s okay to pull his fingers free
from Taehyung, Jeongguk does so very slowly and still, it causes a moan from
the elder, sensitive. Jeongguk laughs into his mouth, continue kissing him.  
“You’ll fuck me someday?” Taehyung doesn’t forget to ask once they pull apart,
giving Jeongguk a tired smile as he strokes across his cheek.
“Someday,” Jeongguk promises.
Taehyung hums, directing his body to turn around so he can hug Jeongguk
entirely in his arms, head coming again to rest on his shoulder. He’s so close
to falling asleep because everything is so comfy and safe in Jeongguk’s
embrace. Still, his state of fucked out mind can’t help but ask, “How would you
fuck me? How would it be?”
“Fast and hard.”
It snaps his eyes open entirely wide and round and Jeongguk laughs. The fucker.
Let’s look forward to it.
===============================================================================
 
“Shout out to Electric Moves dance team for awesome performance this year!” The
shout coming from their leader, who’s currently standing on the table of the
karaoke room, is followed with a series of equally deafening cheers and
applauses. Taehyung is grinning at one corner, making sure he capture the happy
moment with the camera in his hands. As expected, they won again this year. The
event took place in full swing by the second day and every other team,
including the judges took interest in the outstanding performance of their
secret weapon, Jimin. The original team is already known with fluid moves and
extraordinary talents. Yet with Jimin, it just added a refreshing point to
their dynamic.
All in all, it ensures a grand celebration this night as they gather at a
karaoke center for sore throats from singing and laughing so much, plus way too
much chickens and drinks. Taehyung snaps a few more shots from different angles
before he comes back to the table just in time someone suggests for them to
play True or Dare.
“Ah, this is cliché…” Hoseok refuses but a bottle already placed by the center
and Naeun pushes to sit right next to him to clap her hands before his face,
pulling Hoseok to attention. “Since you said it’s cliché, we should start the
first challenge with you, right folks?”
The room echoes with cheers once more, agreeing and Hoseok snorts, flipping his
bangs away to prove to Naeun he’s ready.
“Fine, bring it on!”
Naeun wolf-whistles, excited. “Okay, True or Dare?”
“Leader, we don’t wanna know any truths about ya. Just go for the dare!”
Someone says from the back, causing Taehyung to agree along with them. Hoseok
rolls his eyes, nodding carelessly and Naeun shoots her hand out to give the
dare.
“Jung Hoseok, I dare you to enter the haunted house—” the dare isn’t yet fully
spoken and cheers already starting to flood. Hoseok begins to lose his smile.
“—at the carnival nearby to take a selfie with one of the ghosts in there!”
“No, no, no. Naeun-ah, what is this? I thought the dare should be just within
this karaoke center? I can’t—”
“Go leader! Go leader! Go—”
“I think I’m gonna go out for some fresh air for a while,” Taehyung halts his
clapping to turn to Jimin when he whispers so to him.
He frowns, “why? Are you okay? Do you need me to go with you?”
Jimin smiles, but Taehyung can see it’s forced despite being in the dim room.
“Nah it’s fine. I might as well go and find something for my brother. You know
that kid would pest me for souvenir. If I don’t come back, I’ll see you at room
okay?”
And Taehyung follows the movement of his best friend as he stands up and
quietly leaves the room amidst Hoseok’s loud pleading to cancel the dare and
the members dragging him to work on it. He only glances back upon feeling a
hand circle around his waist, Jeongguk’s warmth by his side the next second.
“What’s up with Jimin?”
“He just needs time to be alone. He’s usually like that if something is bugging
him,” Taehyung reasons, leaning back to Jeongguk’s chest but his eyes direct to
where Naeun is pulling Hoseok’s up from his seat, holding his hands. The girl
has been attaching herself to Hoseok’s hips since the beginning of the trip and
as far as Taehyung loves to tease his best friend, the sight begins to look
annoying even to himself. Jeongguk chuckles, understands the situation without
Taehyung needs to further explain.
He kisses him on his temple, lingering there as he speak, “Hoseok can be too
friendly for his own good but yeah, I’ll be mad too if I was kicked out of a
park just because someone decided to drag me despite knowing I’m underage.”
It brings the chuckle to Taehyung as well, remembering how furious Jimin was
the time they got back to hotel yesterday as he told Taehyung how embarrassed
he was having been kicked out by the guards for tried to entering Loveland,
courtesy and stubbornness and silliness of Jung Hoseok.
“Do you think we should help them?”
Jeongguk plays with his hair, tugging some to the back of his ear. “No, they’re
fine. They need to have a chance to figure it out themselves. That’s what makes
it special.”
Taehyung smiles, agreeing with Jeongguk. As he snuggles up to him, content to
be resting on his chest, they continue to watch the members literally drag
Hoseok’s ass out of the room to get the dare done, laughing and enjoying the
chaos. Taehyung’s surprised Hoseok is thatafraid of haunted house but Jeongguk
informs him it’s one of the leader’s biggest weaknesses. This should be fun.
===============================================================================
 
It’s normal for people to scream in haunted house. Well, that’s the whole point
after all, to release the stress in screaming the shit out of yourself and thus
explains why Jimin chooses it. So that he can forget and just scream. However,
in the last five minutes he’s inside the super dark house and narrow paths,
nothing extremely makes him feel like he’s shitting his pants out. He’s either
shivered here and there or jumped away a bit upon turning to one corner where a
woman in white lengthy robe and way too long hair flashed before his eyes. But
that’s it, he spends the rest of the way wondering when the tunnel would end
until the eerily soft, humming background music gets drowned by an absolute
deafening scream of a person.
“PLEASE SAVE ME! PLEASE! ARGHH! STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU FLIRTY SOUL!
WAIT—ARGH!!!”
Jimin stops, furrowing over his shoulders and directing the flashlight of his
phone to the way he suspects those pitiful screams come from. Okay, he admits
he grows to like Jung Hoseok a little too much along the time they spent
together. Yet he’s also sad for two main reasons. One, because the end of this
competition indicates the end of his chances to be close to the elder. Two,
because Hoseok has been paying him little attention since most of the time,
he’s around Naeun. Jimin knows he has little to no reason to feel jealous but
he still does. He can’t help his feeling as human so he distances himself and
here he is still, hoping to block Hoseok even for a moment of out his mind only
to hear someone just like him in the middle of a haunted house.
He shakes his head because it’s ridiculous and foolish. He better not starts
imagining Hoseok now.
Jimin proceeds a step ahead once more when the same,exact screams resume. Only
this time, it’s accompanied with a set of foot running until something loud
crashes and it stops. Total silence. Except the background melody.
Jimin still isn’t convinced but then, he remembers.
God, he remembers now. Naeun said something about giving Hoseok the dare to
enter the haunted house just before he left the room. God, why did the stupid
idiot agree to it again?
Without delaying, Jimin backtracks to the path where he passed by earlier,
using his flashlight to scan every inch of the space while calling out Hoseok’s
name.
“Hoseok hyung? Is that you? Hoseok hyung? Can you hear me?”
“Oh my god, what now the damn thing knows my name? Oh God, help me. How do I
get out here? God, stop calling me!” The trembling voice is chattering the
nonsenses quietly, trying to keep his voice low but Jimin hears him clear
enough in the rather silent air and sure enough, he peeks into a long
compartment, designed to fabricate a real coffin, to see none other than Jung
Hoseok squatting into a ball in there. Him, afraid of the ghosts and has a
coffin to hide. How ironic. He’s shivering visibly and sweating buckets. Jimin
can’t help but sigh in relief before clearing his throat.
“Hoseok hyung?” The elder jumps at this, entirely presses his body to the
opposite wall of the coffin and slowly looks up to him…and screams.
“ARGH!!! STAY AWAY FROM ME!! STAY AWAY—”
“Oh my god, hyung, calm down! It’s just me! Jimin!”
It takes a few hard efforts to convince Hoseok he’s not the ghost version of
Park Jimin and get him out of the coffin. Yet they make it out, eventually
(what with Jimin has to apologize and bow several times to the staff guarding
the exit way because not just he has a sobbing grown-up male in his arms, he
also has him clinging to his small body like Hoseok’s life depends on it). And
even as Jimin has brought him to sit on one of the benches outside the
carnival, Hoseok still can’t stop shaking, clutching so tight to Jimin’s hands
his own knuckles turn white. Something in Jimin softens at the sight, making a
mental note to get back to Naeun for suggesting such useless dare.
“Wait here, hyung. I’ll go get you a drink,” he says as he takes off his coat,
covering it around Hoseok’s back and barely getting it fit due to the elder’s
broader frame. Yet when he makes to get up, Hoseok pulls him back, shaking his
head.
“No! Please, you—you don’t have to. Just—just stay here…with me,” Jimin’s thin
smile appearing on his lips is due to how rosy Hoseok’s cheeks are as he says
so, avoiding eye contact with Jimin as he sets his sight on his lap.
Stay, it is. Jimin loses track of how long they just sit quietly, enjoying the
night breeze hitting their skin and calming Hoseok enough until he manages to
gently untangle his hands from Jimin’s. It’s a bit disappointing but Jimin
doesn’t mention it. Only shows Hoseok his eyesmile when the male grins
gratefully to him.
“Now I don’t have anything cool to brag about at you. You’ve seen me at my
worst,” Hoseok cringes, commenting once he gets enough grip to speak properly.
Jimin laughs, like, full-boisterous-stomach deep laugh as he thinks about the
dramatic, life-saving moment earlier and all Hoseok has in his power is to
glare at him, knowing he brought the embarrassment upon himself.
“Okay, you may laugh, but not this long. Stop it!”
“Sorry! But you were so funny, hyung,” still laughing and giggling with those
crinkly eyes, Hoseok wants to shove him. “If you knew you were afraid of
ghosts, even the artificial ones—”
“Hey! The banshee looked real!”
“—you should just say to them. Screw the dare, it’s just a game.”
Hoseok slumps his shoulders down, defeated. “But then I’ll lose to Naeunnie. I
can’t let that happen!”
This sobers Jimin up. The realization that Hoseok was willing to swallow his
fear just to win the dare given by the girl leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.
And heart.
“She’s evil. I bet she knows you’re afraid of it. That’s why she gave you the
dare,” Jimin can’t help but sound sulky and petty. Hoseok shrugs.
“I’m sure she was joking. She’s my long-time friend, she loves seeing me
suffer. That’s what friends do after all,” Hoseok grumbles but Jimin frowns,
couldn’t agree with that.
“Maybe it’s just me,” Jimin tries to keep his tone casual, doesn’t want Hoseok
to suspect him of anything. “But I don’t see her as your friend. I think she
likes you as more than that.”
He’s said it. God, he just said it.
Hoseok quiets, digesting the opinion for a moment longer. At last he simply
chuckles and Jimin isn’t sure to feel relief or sad. “Naeunnie? Liking me in
that way? She must be out of her mind!” He laughs some more. “I can’t accept
her even if that’s the case. Because I like guys.”
The younger gulps, finding the thumps in his heart quickens by the last
statement.
“And she’s obviously all boobs and vagina,” Hoseok smirks at his own words,
Jimin wants to kiss him. Not yet.
“Then what kind of guy would you fall for?” He’s growing braver in this.
“Hmm, not sure. I only know I like guys because everytime I watch straight
porn, it won’t turn me on unlike gay porn does so that means I’m gay right?”
That’s anticlimactic, Jimin couldn’t stop his eyes from rolling at his reason.
He sighs and fully faces him.
“Have you tried kissing a guy before? Maybe you won’t like the actual contact,”
Jimin guesses. Hoseok shakes his head no without a second thought.
“Well I haven’t. None of my closest friends are gays except Gukkie but he’s
practically an underage for me to try such things with so—”
“Funny, I remember you tried to smuggle me into an erotic park just the other
day.”
“—that’s because it was a rare chance! We don’t get to visit Jeju everyday,
Jiminie. But yeah, I never seriously kiss a guy,” he continues talking as he
ignores the snort from Jimin. “At least not when I’m sober. I kissed a few
times in the club but most of them were strangers, I didn’t give much thought
about it.”
Jimin at last nods, not knowing what to do with the piece of information he
just learned. It excites him to know more about the elder and maybe, has a
chance to have something with him. Yet he’s also wary. What’s the chance that
Hoseok is being honest with him now?
“You know, it’s hard to believe you’re telling me this thing because with that
look,” Jimin gestures to his face. Hoseok always looks so sharp, every inch of
his face is crafted to perfection by God and Jimin didn’t think it’s humanly
possible until Hoseok. “It’s ridiculous you’ve never landed a boy or two.”
“It’s true, Jiminie. I have no time for that,” Hoseok explains, almost whining
because Jimin doesn’t take him seriously. Still a baby. “I’m juggling college
and dance, and I know it’s a tough competition to make it big in this industry
so most of the time I don’t let any guy to be in my line of sight.”
Then something cracks a bit. Maybe his heart, but Jimin can’t be too sure. It’s
hard to focus hearing that admission from a guy who steals his heart piece by
little piece.
“My world only has me and the rest,” Hoseok says, face honest. “Surprisingly,
I’m okay with that.”
Hoseok ironically stares for quite a long minute at him, but Jimin’s mind is no
longer there.
“Can I kiss you, Jiminie?”
The request comes so sudden. It should baffle him, should’ve made his heart
racing. However, Jimin is just numb, blinking at Hoseok for a second.
“Yeah, sure,” he chuckles darkly to himself, the tight grip around his heart
never loosens.
He sees Hoseok gulps before steadily leaning over to him. Just when he deems
he’s close enough to his face, Jimin raises his fist and punches Hoseok
straight to his shoulder. It sends the elder backward, howling in pain and
rubbing the spot he’s jabbed at. Jimin abruptly stands up and throws him a
dirty look.
“I’m not an experiment you brat! Anyone who truly means it can onlykiss me and
you clearly don’t know yet what you want! I regret saving you from that haunted
house!”
Hoseok gapes at him in disbelief as he stomps away. But then he shivers to the
dark night around them and dashes after him.
“Ya—yah! Jiminie, I—I’m sorry?”
“No!”
“Yah, Jimin-ah! Come back! Don’t leave me alone!”
===============================================================================
 
The party is only getting wilder as midnight approaches. Songs repeatedly
blasting from the speakers and some of them even transformed a small space in
front of the stereos into a dance floor, swaying in group or pair. Jeongguk has
excused himself to the toilet just in time Taehyung finished his rendition of
Big Bang’s If You, gaining claps from the whole crowd. One of the loudest comes
from Yugyeom who welcomes Taehyung to sit beside him as he hands the elder a
water bottle.
“Come, come. Drink up! You were phenomenal! Should have seen you sang in the
club,” Taehyung laughs the compliment off, taking the bottle gratefully and
downing a big gulp of it.
“Nah, I just have frequent practices. But come again to the club, I’ll help you
and Jeonggukie in,” he winks, mischievous, which Yugyeom cheers and high-fives
him.
Then the younger sighs, shaking his head as if he recalls something. “It’s
quite shocking to me when I know Guk got his boyfriend from there.”
“Why?” It causes Taehyung to blink in slight confusion, not catching his
motive. Yugyeom laughs and quickly waves his hands. “This is not me being
judgmental or anything. Just, Guk came that night to find the hooker of his
dad.”
He’s saying it conversationally but something catches Taehyung’s attention. He
narrows his eyes at him.
“What?”
“Yeah, I’m surprised he went from paying revenge to finding love,” Yugyeom’s
face doesn’t change, unsuspecting and bright as always. “But, good for him! And
you! You guys look awesome together!”
Taehyung wants to thank him for giving another compliment but all that invades
his mind is the knowledge about Jeongguk, finding the hooker to his father,
from Taehyung’s workplace.
“He stopped bringing back women. He brought back only a person instead, a boy.”
The memory comes slow yet vivid to him.
“I don’t know why he’s still contacting him up to this day unlike how he easily
changed from woman to woman before. I don’t know what’s so different about that
boy. I want to find out about them but…”
“But?”
He can still hear Jeongguk’s hesitation, the tightness on his face.
“…I’m afraid I’ll be hurt more than I already have.”
He glances up sharply to Yugyeom who bops his head, following the music and not
at all sensing the change in his mood.
“So you said he came to find that hooker to pay revenge?”
Yugyeom blinks back at him, catching up and then nods.
“Sort of. That dude caused him too much pain, man. Got his family broken and
all, I’d probably have it worse than Guk if I was him.”
That dude.
Dude.
So the hooker Jeongguk sought for in the club was amale.
Taehyung begins to feel shakiness rising in his hands, traveling throughout his
body. The club has more than twelve escorts. Anybody is possible to engage with
Jeongguk’s father. What makes it impossible for just anybody is that, his
father chose a male escort who’s willing to accept male customers. And in the
club, there are only two of them.
Taehyung and another one.
“But Seungcheol said he just recently transferred here. Don’t you think it’s
too weird to be a coincidence? What if he—”
Taehyung remembers Jimin’s concern upon Jeongguk’s abrupt appearance in his
life.
“I will see you again.”
He remembers Jeongguk’s last words the night they first met, so promising and
so sure they will be meeting again the day before he transferred to the art
school.
And it all starts to scare him, trying his hard to block out all the thoughts
rushing to confuse him yet at the same time running too fast to narrow down the
possibility of Jeongguk’s father is one of his customers.
They’re all rich. Jeongguk’s rich, so is his father.
Taehyung doesn’t know their occupations, except Mr. Kang and—
He gasps audibly, causing Yugyeom to sideglance him. Before he can stop
himself, Taehyung’s already groping for his phone and typing, about to send a
text to someone but, what’s the possibility that the person he’s texting would
be his boyfriend’s father?
“You’re a doctor here?”
That person is a doctor but he never tells Taehyung his real name so he can’t
prove they’re the same person. And Taehyung doesn’t even know what Jeongguk’s
father is doing—
“Dr. Jeon is doing everything he can, you should wait until he’s ready to tell
you.”
Seokjin, the personal assistant of Jeongguk’s father, mentioned someone named
as such to Jeongguk when they were about to part from the restaurant.
Dr. Jeon.
Jeon Jeongguk.
Doctor.
He finds it hard to breathe, finger hovering top the ‘send’ button. Should he
send this? Is he ready to find out?
“Babe, you okay?”
Taehyung snaps out of it, gripping his phone so tight it could crush to pieces.
Jeongguk is there, exactly in front of his eyes yet he seems so different. Like
a total different person. He feels a palm caress his cheek but it’s so cold,
Taehyung jolts backward, causing Jeongguk’s hand to fall. His boyfriend looks
shocked.
“Can we…we go back to hotel? I feel kind of out of it.”
Jeongguk doesn’t wait to agree. “Yeah, sure. Let’s go.”
He helps Taehyung up in a second, wishing everyone goodnight and waving them
bye. Taehyung listens to none of it. All he can feel is the small vibrate of
his phone in his pocket, closing his eyes as he walks because he doesn’t want
to check the reply. Yet.
===============================================================================
 
To: Unknown
Ive a personal question.
Do u perhaps have a son?
                                                                  From: Unknown
                                                                    I have one.
                                                                           Why?
Chapter End Notes
     *crawls out again*
     Guess who will find out everything first? Taetae or Guk? Tell me your
     thoughts below! ^^
     Gossip with me here: @MrJeonV
     Bye!
***** More than Innocent *****
Chapter Notes
     I did it!!! I finally DID. IT. I updated this ass long chapter
     (what's new?) in the middle of a hell called my own freaking life so
     please clap your hands for me? :') But anyWAYs, yeah, I'm extremely,
     completely sorry for being late as per usual. In case you haven't
     followed this story from the beginning & you're new to following my
     update, then better be reminded than I'm SLOW. Slower than a
     tortoise. And once I update, it will be LONG. For instance, this
     chapter is almost 21k so how about a plushy and some snacks as a
     preparation to start reading it?
     And yes, you NEED that comfort because this chapter isn't going to be
     the happiest one. It includes one of the major plot points and it's
     going to be a train to busan! with buckets of tears instead of
     zoombies. Well, if my writing is good enough to make you cry. *side-
     eyes* And, who missed Mr. Kang? No one, right? Who the hell is Mr.
     Kang? He's the jerk from earlier chapters who made it his life goal
     to ruin Taehyung's life. (Yes, he's a JERK so why do you remind me of
     him?) Because he's gonna make his comeback in this chapter! Hooray!!!
     Okay, no. Not in flesh, because I hate him too. But there's something
     he does in here that will ensure trouble to Taehyung and you're not
     going to like it. At all. So if you're wondering why I'm bringing
     back such a douchebag tool, it's because I want a proper closure for
     him. In chapter 5 he disappeared so suddenly without proper ending.
     (He's a jackass, he doesn't need closure. Nobody gives a shit
     whatever happened to him!) I agree, my love. But still, his action in
     this chapter is going to bring not only conflict, but also a path to
     the happy-full-of-unicorns closure you all want for taekook. So bear
     with your girl! ^^
     And oh, another forewarning. After you read this chapter, you might
     find it a bit anticlimactic. This chapter is going to be Taehyung-
     centric so you all gonna know what's happening between him and Dr.
     Jeon from his POV. Tae's own POV. So it might leave you confused,
     pissed off or meh. idk. But, we're not end yet. What lays beneath it
     all will be revealed in the next two chapters so stay tuned for
     another century! :D (Kidding. I'll try my best to update asap) But ya
     know, y'all are smart af so I bet after you finish reading this, you
     can already guess why Dr. Jeon really keeps Taehyung around. I
     already left the clue before. This chapter also has another clue so
     it shouldn't be hard to guess, lovelies! <3
     (okay, I get that. When can I start reading you slow tortoise?) Now!
     You can read it now. Hehe ^^
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Taehyung only has a number of simple rules he abides to as a hooker:
   1. Always use protection.
   2. Customer should be a legal adult.
   3. Never ask for anything personal regarding to the customer.
   4. Never pay attention to his surrounding whenever they are on business.
   5. Second round/meeting is acceptable only if they pay with higher price.
   6. Leave as soon as they finish their business.
Therefore the moment he steps through the massive entrance of this penthouse,
he should obey the fourth rule without any question. It’s what he’s been doing
since the first time he was brought here after all. Never to mind his
surroundings. Only this time, what should be a familiar, easy and spontaneous
business routine feels like a whole new curious experience to him when each of
his sense is screaming for him to break such ultimate rule. His eyes are
forcing him to scan every inch of the place in hope to see a face he has come
to memorize so well. His hearing is ordering him to listen for a voice of a
certain boy just to find out if he’s here. His hands and legs are restless to
maneuver him all around the space just so he could touch and search for
something, anything that would be evidences to his own eyes. And his brain,
God, Taehyung hates his brain the most because the more he tells himself he is
wrong—this is just an ordinary penthouse owned by just another rich man,
nothing to do with his boy—the harder his mind is connecting all the dots until
suddenly, every corner and turn are reflecting Jeon Jeongguk to him.
He looks around and he can see Jeongguk watch his favorite show from the huge
flat screen while he’s sitting alone on that way-too-large couch. Taehyung can
imagine it so vividly how Jeongguk would switch through a few more channels
before he would grow bored and end up powering on his gaming equipment to play
on them instead. No wonder there are such a complete PS and Xbox collection
there. Taehyung noticed them through a few earlier visits yet never opened his
mouth to ask. He’s got rule number 3 to be followed after all. Only now, it all
makes sense to why the rich forty-something man kept those stuff around. He has
a teenage son.
Realizing he’s been standing way too long by the door, Taehyung wills himself
to climb the stairs to take him to a guest room up on the roof—one that is
easily hidden and Taehyung deems has been dedicated solely for their rather
secretive deal to take place. Even as he’s moving one step at a time, Taehyung
can picture the same action is done by his Jeongguk while he brings himself to
the second floor and disappears into one of the many rooms. Taehyung halts
himself too, wondering which of them could belong to Jeongguk. He shouldn’t
bother, it really isn’t his place to play detective and check these rooms one
by one just to identify which one is Jeongguk’s. Yet Taehyung is so dire of
confirmation. He just wants this doubt and unbearably tight knot in his chest
to untangle ever since the day he came back from Jeju.
He desperately needs answer.
Still, Taehyung has his own insecurities and fears. He doesn’t know what he
would do if this house truly is Jeongguk’s home. He isn’t sure how to react if
Jeongguk’s father is actually the one he has been working for. Most of all, how
can he live knowing Jeongguk’s initial intention of coming into his life was to
avenge his sick mother and emotionally destroy Taehyung? How? Knowing a big
part of his boyfriend has been hating him from the start? Can his feelings for
him even be considered sincere? What if Jeongguk was just putting up a show
after all this time to gain his trust and break his heart afterward?
Taehyung doesn’t need confirmation, his heart already starts to bleed at only a
mere thought.
Because the idea of Jeongguk hating and abandoning him is already too cruel to
bear.
Taehyung has lost enough people in his life. For once, just for once, he wants
to be selfish and wishes for God to let Jeongguk stay in his life. Because just
like what he’s always thought of Jeongguk, that perfect boy is like a perfect
dream in a perfect life Taehyung never has the privilege to have. Meeting him
was so sudden but exhilarating and breathtaking at the same time. Getting to
know all his quirks and contradictory attitudes was both summer and winter,
sometimes Jeongguk was all hot dares and fierce actions and then the other
times he would be soft touches and quiet whispers, tucking Taehyung close to
him until wrapping himself in Jeongguk’s arms and love were all he wanted to
do. Falling for him was none of Taehyung’s intention but once he did, he did so
a little too hard until now, Taehyung’s too afraid of waking up.
Jeongguk is his dream and if he’s forced to wake up now, Taehyung knows he will
need to face the reality. And reality to him, has always been a living
nightmare.
So yes, he’s scared. He’s afraid, that he ends up at the usual rooftop room
again and unlocks it using a special key he got from the moment he agreed to
involve in this business.
This business, this deal he has here should never lead into a big, personal
mess when all that Taehyung remembers from the first night he was here, he had
too many problems to carry on his young shoulders and tried to forget them all
with endless tequila shots from the club.
 
 
Taehyung swore he had better control over his emotions most of the time.
Just, tonight, every single thing he saw, heard or touched unnecessarily
reminded him of his shitty problems. That young girl crying by the corner of
the bar seemed like Taerie, and her crying brought Taehyung to remember all the
images of his own sister sobbing each night at the orphanage every time she was
bullied by the other kids. The bullying got too much over the years until
Taerie had trouble sleeping. She often woke up to gasping breath and shaking
body and she needed medication. Her panic attack was bad enough to seek help
from doctors. Fuck, Taehyung needed money for that.
And when he heard a group of men barking in laughter somewhere at his left,
Taehyung can practically imagine what it was like to be receiving such mockery
humors from the other kids once they knew his baby brother was named Puppy.
Shit, that was his fault too. He was too stupid to name him as such and now,
who faced the daily ridicules? His poor, poor Puppy. Fuck again, because when
was the last time he visited both of them? When was the last time he had enough
money to give to them? When would he have enough money to bring them out of
that shitty place? He promised them. For fuck’s sake, he promised them! He
promised his grandma to never have to live forever in that retirement home. But
they were still there, waiting for him, and he was still here, useless and
alone as ever in this messy, loud and dark night club.
Fuck it, fuck him, fuck the world, fuck everyone.
Each time he cursed, Taehyung downed it with a shot, tequila heavy and bitter
on his tongue. Only when he was about to wave for Jimin for his fifth—fourth?
Sixth?—shot (damn it, where was Jimin the time he needed an effective
bartender? It might have been his night off but Taehyung was far too wasted to
remember) a hand grabbed his own wrist and Taehyung was quick to hiss to his
right where the rest of that damn hand connected to.
It was a man, if Taehyung cared to squint hard enough, with a flirty grin
across his face and a cigarette by the other hand.
“That’s enough shots for one night, hot stuff. You should treat yourself to
something else. Something more exciting,” Taehyung barely heard him, but he
wasn’t in the mood to fuck with a random idiot whom he can’t get a penny from.
So with a harsh shrug, he pulled his wrist free and fired him a glare.
“Sorry, sweetie,” he sounded nowhere near sorry. In fact, Taehyung just leaned
closer to pluck the cigarette away from him and took a long, deep drag before
he blew the smoke right at the man’s face. He coughed, Taehyung giggled. “But
you’re not sitting at the VIP section, which means you’re poor and poor people
won’t ever get a taste of this ass.”
Taehyung gave the side of his butt a playful slap before he threw the man his
cigarette back and stood up from the stool.
“You son of a bi—”
Taehyung turned around just in time two people already stood behind him. One
was tall, nicely suited in what seemingly like high brand attire and he got the
man earlier stopped from raising his palm to Taehyung by blocking him.
Taehyung almost laughs because no wonder Seokjin seemed familiar to him the day
they were in the restaurant. It was him, broad-shouldered and extraordinarily
handsome. He should have known.
The other one was shorter with older face compared to the good-looking young
man beside him. Taehyung racked his eyes up and down his body and he looked
expensive as well. Even more so if he cared to admit yet all that Taehyung
managed to slur was, “Are you my customer tonight?”
He can’t even recall if he was supposed to have customers tonight. He usually
had a regular formula he created ever since his life began here in the club:
the usual routine of get up, dress to school, study, excel in whatever academic
stuff he was doing, go back, change into the attire of his role that day and
then work, work, work before lastly, sleep. Repeat. Life was easier that way.
He never had to think of his feelings. He never had to dwell so much in his
miseries. Just follow the formula.
Take customers only on the night he had to.
But fuck it. Tonight, he drank so much, and he still had yet to earn anything
so just fuck it, Taehyung was reaching to fist the man’s tie with both of his
hands even before he could register what he was doing.
He needed the money. He had to earn something. He will do this, damn it.
“You’re my customer right? Please tell me, you are.” Do it for Taerie, do it
for Puppy, do it for grandma.
The man still didn’t budge, just continue to stare down at him and Taehyung
grew impatient from the lack of response. His whole face twisted into poorly
concealed annoyance. He shook the man harder his handsome companion tried to
stop it but Taehyung didn’t care.
Do it for them all, Kim Taehyung.
“Why are you so quiet? Are you deaf? You will pay me right? Pay me real big and
good? Because I’ll make it feel good,” he slurs, staggering harder on his feet
as he fought to stay upright. “I swear I’ll make you feel so good! I’m young
but I’m very good at it. I promise I’m good at sex just promise to pay me—”
“Hey, listen,” the man finally had to steady him by his waist. His body was
trembling, his sight was blurring, yet all he can see—think of—was his
siblings. His helpless siblings. He needed to help them. He was the only one
they had. “I am the one who called for your service before but I just want to—”
Taehyung whined, begging harder because why can’t this man understand? He
needed the money! “I don’t care what your reason is! I don’t want to know! Just
please, promise you will take me. You will pay me. Then we can do it again.
I’ll allow you to—”
“But I’m not here for—”
“But you need to pay me! God, don’t you hear me?! I need the money! I need
them! Lots and lots of them! So pay me, pay me! Just fucking pay me, please…”
This felt too painful. Taehyung had endured this endless ache in his chest for
too long and it hurt. It fucking hurt when he can’t do what he needed to do. It
drove him insane when he can’t give his siblings everything they needed from
him.
It hurt, so much.
Taehyung didn’t know how but he felt his entire being growing weak and weaker
until the repeated jabs he gave against the man’s chest slowed to a gradual
stop before he slipped.
Down, deeper and darker.
Maybe to the floor, maybe into the arms of the man who rushed to catch him or,
maybe just into the big, giant black hole of Taehyung’s miseries.
Who knows, the heavy blurring from his sight might as well be the running tears
from his eyes but Taehyung could no longer tell it because he passed out cold
right the next second.
In his mind, everything still fucking hurt.
 
 
Consciousness came to him in a form of bright lights and high ceilings, glaring
down at Taehyung as if to spit at him of what an idiot he was to fall asleep
instead of working for money. So he sat up to a vertical position way faster
than his body joints were ready for that some of them cracked and Taehyung
winced, hand shooting up to soothe his neck.
Only then he got a good look of his vicinity. He was in a bedroom—an alarmingly
huge room to that—and he was on this insanely gigantic bed with super fluffy
blanket covering what Taehyung deduced his still fully dressed body.
Earlier he was in the club, but right now he was here. In a bedroom probably
worth more than his entire life but it was so quiet. Just him, alone.
Taehyung clicked his tongue, squishing his eyes shut and bringing both hands to
clamp his ache-heavy head as he tried hard to recall how he ended in this
luxurious place. That was until a door somewhere around the room was opened and
someone walked in.
Taehyung snapped looking at that person—a man— moving quite vigorously the
hangover from hell just screamed in his head. He whimpered.
The man had the audacity to chuckle at him, nearing him with what Taehyung
noticed as a glass of water in his hand. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Focus
on nursing that hangover instead of confusing over where you’re now,” he hands
Taehyung the glass which he hesitated to take.
“No poison, just plain water. Promise,” the man added only to receive a glare
from Taehyung as he accepted it. He watched him down the glass empty before he
sat on a lounge chair across from the bed, eyes never once left Taehyung.
The younger cleared his throat, felt like a bag of sand just being shoved down
there and he stopped himself from wincing again. It didn’t go unnoticed by the
man yet he didn’t laugh at him either, just put on a hint of amusement on his
face before he posed him a question.
“What’s your name?”
“V,” Taehyung was careful, wary of where this conversation was going.
“The other name that I still don’t know,” but the man corrected patiently, face
calm.
“I can’t tell you that. Nothing personal, that’s the rule.”
“Fair enough,” he nodded even when his eyebrow twitched. “Then you can call me
‘adjusshi’.”
“That’s disgusting and old fashion, but if you get off to it then so be it.”
Taehyung snorted as he pushed the blanket away, navigating his body to stand up
and start unbuttoning his dress shirt. The man watched as his hand went lower
across his torso yet never made a move to get closer.
“What are you doing?”
“Undressing,” only then he glanced up to him, hands hovering over the zipper of
his jeans. “Or do you want to do it with clothes on? Is that your kink?”
His customer for tonight laughed, showcasing a lopsided dimple which Taehyung
thought looked good on him. Even as he can tell there was a huge age gap
between them, this man was one of those older guys who still had his face in
shape despite the aging. Rich and quite classy, Taehyung might just be a tad
luckier tonight.
“Why do you need so much money? You were crying and begging so hard for it
before,” ignoring his question prior, he asked instead after his laughter died.
It creased the brows on Taehyung’s forehead, slowly recalling the mental
breakdown he had earlier this evening and regretting it instantly for letting a
stranger saw such a vulnerable part of him. His jaw hardened, throwing the man
a serious look.
“You broke the rule. Nothing personal, I told you—”
“I wanted to cry as well,” it effectively silenced him, partly confused of what
the man just said and partly curious of why he told him so. The man continued,
conversationally as he said, “I have a lot of money, yet I can’t do the only
thing I want so much to do. That is to save my wife. She’s on the critical
stage of leukemia, but her blood is one of the rarest. It’s not easy to find
her the most suitable donor.”
That was the total opposite to Taehyung. He can’t do the only thing he wanted
so much to do due to his monetary problem. He can’t quite afford looking after
his siblings. But the poor or the rich, they all had the same fate to face life
difficulty huh? Guess life was fair for being unfair to everybody.
“When I first found out about it, I was so sad. I got extremely stressed out
and whenever she was in the hospital, I got lonely and lonelier,” somehow
Taehyung listened, relating to some parts of the story because he too, was
alone after he left the orphanage. God knew how much he wanted to keep his
siblings close to him.
“Then I cheated a few times with other women behind her because I needed to
forget the fact that she would die. Anytime, any minute now. When honestly, I
just really and truly didn’t want her to die. Still doesn’t want her to die,”
Taehyung studied the older man, he no longer had his eyes on him, keeping them
low on his lap yet he can see the guilt was eating him alive from the quietness
of his voice and the slump of his shoulders.
“So I wonder if I should cry when I can’t pay for whatever would save her.
Wonder how to even say sorry to her because I’m such an asshole. I don’t
deserve her, but I still love only her. So much.”
Odd enough, Taehyung chuckled, but it was humorless.
“How can you say you love her when you slept with so many people? When you’re
here, with me? That’s just being an obvious douchebag.”
The man finally lifted his head, staring straight at Taehyung.
“How can you lecture me when you practically beg me to pay you for sex? You
were crying and begging for money. That’s just being an obvious douchebag too,
I think.”
Taehyung almost snapped. “That’s because I have my own reason—”
“And that’s also why I want to apologize to my wife. I made mistakes, I’ll fix
it,” he cut him, tone firm with determination yet Taehyung decided, he
shouldn’t waste his time here if he wasn’t going to gain anything. So he fixed
his shirt back before turning to leave.
“Then you shouldn’t contact me at the first place. I beg for money through sex,
remember?”
“What can you offer me without sex?”
He halted by the door, the question was absurd and unexpected.
“Excuse me?”
“I’ll pay you, no matter how much you want,” there was no hint of joking from
the man, standing up from the chair as he regarded Taehyung openly. “Just offer
me something else aside from sex.”
“I—” Taehyung wanted to refuse only to catch himself midway because “are you
serious about apologizing to her?”
“It’s the only thing that matters in my life.”
Taehyung slowly dropped his hand from the knob, hesitated while turning to face
the man again. “Then you should put an effort into your apology. Don’t half ass
her again, you already did her wrong once.”
He smiled thinly, nodding. “I’m listening.”
“I can teach you to draw,” somewhere at the back of Taehyung’s mind, he knew
this idea was crazy. He was supposed to be the quick, dirty pleasure of this
old man yet now, it turned into something different. Way, way different.
No matter. His only target was the money.
“Art always has its own unique story. Maybe you can apologize to her that way.”
The look on the man’s face was a mixture of skeptical and amusement.
“Don’t you think I’m too old for some grand, romantic gestures?”
“You’re never too old to do something genuine for the person you love,”
Taehyung reasons, solemn this time. “And you would do anything, anything if you
really love her.”
He stared at Taehyung quietly for a while, weighing his suggestion, before at
last cracking another smile. “You’re serious about wanting my money huh?”
“It’s the only thing that matters in my life,” Taehyung copied the exact
answer, giving him a rather thin, challenging smile. “I do anything for the one
I love.”
Because if this was one of his many ways to gain money, then he would go
through it. The club or anybody never had to know what was happening, they can
keep it all only within these four walls. Just the two of them.
“Okay, it’s a deal.”
 
 
“Who is it?”
“Who is who?” Taehyung asked from his place in the midst of mixing the paints
for the portrait. The man decided to gift his wife with a large portrait of her
and Taehyung was going to help him with it. The only weird condition was he
won’t be given her full photo to be his reference. They will take it part by
part of her face to be drawn each time they were meeting. Today, it was one
part of her eyes.
Taehyung wasn’t sure what would be the harm in showing him the photo but it was
the man’s decision, and he paid him so Taehyung decided not to ask.
They worked on it on week to week basis, Taehyung coming back to this amazing
yet way too quiet penthouse as he was trusted to keep the key to this room they
were currently at. At some point, he wanted to ask why the man was alone in
such a vast living space but then he remembered his rules and brushed his
curiosity off.
“The one you love until you would do anything for that person,” the man added,
remembering Taehyung’s reason of agreeing to this rather weird arrangement. He
considered not telling him the whole story so he murmured a short “my
siblings.”
“Oh? Sister and brother?”
“That’s too personal.”
The man gave him a dry look. “You agreed to help me after you knew my personal
story.”
“I only agreed for your money. Besides, this is a business. I’m not helping
anyone,” came Taehyung’s smart answer. The man chuckled.
“Then I’ll help you,” he said suddenly, pausing Taehyung from his concentration
on the paint. “What?”
“I’ll pay for everything else you need,” the older man elaborated. “You can
even live outside the club and stop working as a hooker. Your siblings’
education, I bet they all still studying, let me pay for it all.”
It caught Taehyung speechless for a second before he quickly shook his head.
“That’s tempting but this is not the alternate universe of sugar daddy-baby
story,” he wriggled his eyebrows while the other laughed. “I don’t need your
help to that extent.”
“You’re so stubborn for your own good, kid.”
“No, really. I’m done crying that night, I won’t lose control again and I’ll
work my ass off in whatever way to grand each and every promise I’ve made with
my siblings.”
His reason somehow received a long stare from the man, one that got him
thinking a little longer until Taehyung leveled a brush coated with paint to
the man’s face that he finally blinked, nodding for them to continue with the
work in hand.
 
And then he’s back to the current time. Still in the same room, with an entire
different feeling. Taehyung almost laughs to himself because there is the
truth. The man’s sick wife was just so painfully similar to Jeongguk’s mother
who also suffering from leukemia. He should have noticed it. Should have
remembered the similarity to the eyes in his drawing was identical to Mrs.
Jeon’s and he should really have known.
The lopsided dimple on the man. The lopsided dimple on Jeongguk.
He should have fucking known.
He feels like a total fool for not noticing it much earlier.
Taehyung lowers himself to the floor, drained of energy, as he roams his eyes
all around the room messy with scattered oil, paints and canvas. He was only
painting in here, he’s still only painting in here. He’s done nothing wrong,
because Jeongguk’s father isn’t that kind of customer to him and he’s taken his
money through a different kind of job.
It’s not his fault. It’s not his fault Jeongguk thought his father was still
cheating behind them. It’s not his fault his father wants to keep the gift a
secret and it’s not his fault that everything goes wrong within the family.
It’s never Taehyung’s fault, and Jeongguk needs to know about it.
So deep in his thoughts, he doesn’t realize someone’s unlocking the door until
the man, adjusshi, is making his way through it. He gives a question look
noticing Taehyung only throws him an empty, unreadable look instead of hustling
around as he usually did.
“You haven’t started yet?” He walks over, placing down a soft drink beside
Taehyung as he usually brought for the boy each session they were working here.
Taehyung takes a deep breath, throat closing up and chest heaving yet he has to
ask. He has to know.
“You said last time you had a son…Does he know about this business we have?”
Jeongguk’s father clearly doesn’t anticipate that question, stopping midway in
his attempt to pick up the half drawn canvas as he slowly turns to look at
Taehyung. It’s not even that big of a deal. Just a random stranger getting paid
to teach him to draw so why is he hesitating?
“No, he doesn’t,” he answers at last. “And I think that’s better. I don’t want
to get my son involved in this. I’m aware he already struggles too much, what
with the possibility of losing his mother forever.”
The way he avoids his eyes while explaining is more than enough to prove to
Taehyung he’s lying. This is more than just protecting Jeongguk from getting
hurt. There is more to it, and the most puzzling part is, why does it need to
involve Taehyung? A mere hooker from a random club?
“You should tell him,” it slips before he could stop himself.
“Pardon?”
“Tell him you’re just doing all this as an act of apology. Tell him you’re no
longer cheating behind his mother or else he’ll stay hating you!” He doesn’t
realize it when his voice starts to rise.
“Taehyung—”
“Because we’re not doing anything wrong! I’m not doing anything wrong! I don’t
want him to blame me!”
The man frowns at him. “Why would he blame you? He doesn’t even know who you
are.”
And Taehyung catches himself just in time, only realizing it that Jeongguk had
been approaching him from the start without his own father aware of his
intention. Unable to take the emotional breakdown in him, Taehyung stands up
and arranges hasty steps toward the door, ignoring the strange look that man is
directing on him.
He needs to get out of here. He can’t stand being here knowing the only boy who
matters to him hates him for a reason that isn’t even valid.
“Taehyung?” The doctor calls out yet Taehyung only throws an “I’m sorry, I
can’t do this tonight. Excuse me,” before he shuts the door behind him.
He can’t do this. He just can’t. If his father still wants to keep this a
secret, it means Jeongguk will stay having that misconception about him and
Taehyung can’t live with that. Because Jeongguk is important to him, and it’s
him who’s losing the boy at the same time being lied to by everybody so he—he…
Taehyung is already down on the second floor, and he should climb down another
floor to reach the main exit. He shouldn’t corner his way to the rooms, he
shouldn’t let himself standing before a wall full of frames, he shouldn’t
switch the lights on until the entire corridor could hide nothing from him, and
he shouldn’t feel his heart shatter to pieces once he sees the photos on the
wall.
Yet he still does.
There is Jeon Jeongguk, the boy who holds his heart so tight in his hands he
doesn’t realize it when Taehyung hands him the power to crush it, the boy who
is obviously smiling to him through the photos.
“It is you,” Taehyung whispers, helpless and tired, because tonight he learns
two hard, unbearable truths.
   1. Jeon Jeongguk is a drama queen for choosing to lie to him this long for a
      petty revenge instead of just spitting the truth to his face.
   2. He still treasures the drama queen so much that it hurts so bad to
      realize knowing the truth equals to losing Jeongguk.
Because isn’t this all about it? Driving Taehyung slowly to the truth so he can
fuck off and leave Jeonggguk’s family in peace?
Taehyung tries not to break into tears, because it really isn’t his fault to
feel sad or guilty. Yet both sides of his cheeks are wet all the way from the
penthouse to the club, feeling short of breath from his aching chest because
lies turn a relationship into a dysfunctional one.
And his own relationship with Jeongguk, bitterly, is a whole of it.
===============================================================================
 
Lunch is stale. Or at least feels like it when Taehyung is sitting alone under
a tree, back to the trunk and eating his own heart instead of the butter bun in
his lap. He’s using the escape to this empty old field behind the school just
to quiet down his heavy thoughts from last night. Obviously it doesn’t work,
being alone just gives him space to think too much. And thinking too much not
only drags his mood down, it also clouds his ability to sense someone is
crawling to his back until his sight is covered by a pair of palms, causing him
to gasp.  
There’s warm breath beside his ear, whispering “guess who missed his boyfriend
all through periods this morning?”
Taehyung doesn’t need his sight back, he recognizes that honey sweet voice
through all of his senses. His heart, body and soul—they have been loving that
voice for quite some times now.
“Jeongguk,” Taehyung clasps his hands with those covering his eyes, lowering
them as he turns behind to see the charming smile of the said boy. “What are
you doing here?”
He’s not the only one to hear how weak and unhappy he sounds as Jeongguk’s
smile turns to a frown. He’s quick to nudge Taehyung to move forward, opening
the space for him to sandwich himself between the trunk and him. Loving,
protective arms coming to engulf Taehyung around his waist while he’s pulled to
lean on a broad chest but why is he far from feeling reassured? Why does
everything feel hurt instead?
Jeongguk kisses his cheek, mumbling against his skin. “I thought I just told
you? I missed you, genius. Waited for you at your locker this morning but you
didn’t show up.”
Because Taehyung knew Jeongguk would be there, so he avoided him. To know your
boyfriend is lying to you is bad enough. To meet him again within a short
moment just after you figured out the lie? That’s maybe for those who are
tough. Taehyung admits he’s not that tough, especially against Jeongguk.
“I went straight to homeroom,” he wonders when is the good time to be honest.
“Nerd. Thank god I still like you a lot.” Jeongguk kisses him on the same spot
once more, not aware how his easy confession is crushing Taehyung’s heart
harder, before he drops a brown wrapper onto his lap. “Here, I’ve got sushi for
lunch.”
Taehyung frowns upon it, partly to force his feelings from burning the back of
his eyes and partly because he realizes sushi is a bit expensive to be served
daily at school. So he points it out.
“They don’t serve this in café.”
“Of course, baby. Brought this all the way from home just for you,” Jeongguk
speaks into his neck. “So be happy and eat up.”
There he goes, torturing his poor heart again and again both in the best and
worst way. Taehyung can barely pull himself together to conceal the sad gaze
he’s giving upon the bag of sushi before Jeongguk catches it first, halting him
from tearing open the bag.
“Hey, Taehyung,” he calls gently, sushi forgotten as he uses both hands to cup
Taehyung’s face into them and turn their heads face to face. “Baby, what’s up?”
“What?” Taehyung’s heart is breaking to stare at the concern screaming in
Jeongguk’s eyes.
He shouldn’t act this way. He’s lying to him.
“I don’t know, you tell me. You look pale and tired.” Still, it doesn’t stop
Jeongguk from keep on acting like he cares as he brushes the faint dark rings
under Taehyung’s eyes with his thumbs, touch soft and tender and too rough it
smashes Taehyung’s heart against his ribcages. “Did you even sleep last night?”
Taehyung averts his eyes away and tries not to let out a sob.
“Yeah, I just…I worked late so…”
Unfortunately, Jeongguk reads him easily. So fucking easily.
“Do you have something to say to me? Anything’s bothering you?” He asks as he
sits straighter with arms still around him, face open but body stiff.
Maybe this is the time to be honest. This is the moment to tell Jeongguk what
is hurting him, hurting them. Because as much as Taehyung is breaking, he
doesn’t want a stupid misunderstanding to break them. He still wants to be with
Jeongguk, he wants to find a way to forgive and believe him because he lov—
“I mean, I—”
Yet the school bell rings at that time and it takes away all of Taehyung’s
courage with it. He exhales heavily, shaking his head a bit before peeling
Jeongguk’s arms off him with a forced smile.
“I’ll just get back to class. See you later.”
“Hey, Tae, what’s with the hurry? C’mere,” Jeongguk pulls him back down just
when he’s halfway standing up, caging his face within his palms and bringing
their lips together for a kiss that Taehyung melts into instantly. He opens his
mouth without any prompting because his broken heart has too much feeling for
Jeongguk.
And that complicates everything. Feelings.
“I missed you. Damn class is starting so I’m back to missing you now,” Jeongguk
whispers between sucking his bottom lip and licking into his mouth. Taehyung’s
about to cry because how can he say something like that so easily? He’s hurting
and comforting him. It’s confusing.
They eventually pull apart for air, Jeongguk leans for another kiss to his nose
before he stares him in the eyes. So beautiful. So soft. So haunting. “I’ll see
you this evening yeah?”
Taehyung really should stop acting along.
“Yeah, okay…” but he wants to believe the bad is good. So even after he finally
gets to his feet and walks away, he stops only to glance back at Jeongguk who’s
still there watching him. A fond smile appearing on his face once Taehyung
slips a quiet “I miss you too.”
He really is stupid, saying something so true in the midst of the huge lie.
===============================================================================
 
She shouldn’t be out of school. The bell indicating the end of the recess time
has long since ringing to remind that she should be in class instead of
climbing over the rusty back gate of her school and heading straight for
Puppy’s kindergarten. Of course, she’s not going to sit for a couple hours of
dead boring History lecture. Taerie is more interested in killing her time by
picking Puppy up even though she’s well aware the school van will come on time
to drive the kids back to the orphanage.
As an asshole as she is, Taerie understands a bit more. She knows her little
brother doesn’t fancy riding the van with the rest of the kids since they make
it their life goal to pick on him. Often time, Taerie tries to avoid that from
happening and come for Puppy herself. 
“Need help there, little guy?” She asks as soon as she arrives in front of the
kindergarten and sees Puppy sitting on one from a row of benches there. He
looks up, a bright smile already on that cute face, in the middle of sorting
his pencil case and books inside his little yellow school bag.
“Thank you, noona!” Taerie smiles back at him as she takes hold of his bag and
works on the rest. “You’re welcome, baby bro.”
“Noona, when do you think we can see Taetae hyung again? I miss him,” the
little boy pouts, slowing Taerie down in her way to zip close the front pocket
of his bag, not expecting to be shot with that question now of all the time.
“Uhm…Soon,” she avoids looking at him, focusing her gaze down because
truthfully, nobody really knows the next time they would be meeting their
brother. It’s been a while since she last heard from Taehyung after all. She
forces out a smile. “Yeah, he’ll come visit us soon.”
“Really?” Puppy’s eyes are big, the mixture of hopeful and delight.
“Really, I promise—” but Taerie’s attempt to laugh at him is cut short once she
dips her hand further into the bag only to catch sight of something. A very,
extremely offending thing. “Puppy, what the hell is this?”
He flinches a bit at how sharp the look Taerie shoots at him, voice quiet but
gaze remains innocent as he answers “my friends made it for me.”
“Your friends made it for you? For what?”
“For lunchtime. They said since my name is Puppy, I shouldn’t use the tray. I
should eat from here instead,” his tiny fingers touch the top surface of the
plastic dog bowl gripped tight in Taerie’s hands. A fucking dog bowl.
A substitute of his lunch box.
“Oh, baby…” Taerie eyes the thing with both rising anger and sadness. “Puppy,
do you even know—”
Her breath catches, seeing crimson more vibrant than ever.
“Screw those kids,” she mumbles, harshly shoving the rest of Puppy’s stuff into
the bag before slanging it over her shoulder and standing up, dog bowl almost
burst into pieces in her hand.
“Noona?” Puppy calls out, rushing after her in hasty steps but all she can set
her target on is upon a group of shrieking kids playing around a playground
across from the kindergarten.
“Screw those whiny fucking lil’ devils! I’m cutting off their tongues! And
their brains!”
And there’s no stopping to it as in the next second, she already dumps her and
Puppy’s bags by the sidewalk of the playground and stomps straight to that
group of toddlers calling themselves her brother’s friends. Fucking nasty kids
in this nasty fucked up world.
“Hey!” Her bombing voice halts all the joyous laughter of those kids running
around, blinking at the pair as Puppy reaches his sister and immediately
latches himself behind her, hands fisting tight upon her uniform skirt. She
holds up the dog bowl to them. “You all are fucking crybabies! How could you
give this to my brother and act as if it was okay? He’s a human, not a fucking
dog—”
“What now you’re taking it out on little toddlers?”
“What—” Taerie pauses her outburst, turning to narrow her eyes at about three
teenage girls approaching them which she easily recognizes as the ‘cool kids’
among the girls in the orphanage. Well yeah cool kids can also be replaced as
bullies. Or fucking crazy bitches. She grunts at them for interrupting her.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
One of them, standing in the middle of the other two unnecessarily flips her
hair over her shoulder and flashes Taerie a sweet smile.
“Well don’t you see what you’re doing right now? You’re yelling and cursing
using inappropriate words to mere six year olds,” her minions laugh at this. “I
thought you were better than this, Taerie.”
Taerie sighs in disbelief, shaking her head. “Well excuse you, what do you
expect me to do when these tiny disrespectful humans gave a dog bowl to replace
my brother’s lunch tray? Does that look appropriate to you?”
“What? He got a dog bowl?” Another girl steps forward to grin upon the object
in Taerie’s hand.
“That’s creative,” the last of the three comments and winks at the kids,
receiving laughter filled with mockery from them. One of them sticks their
tongue out at Puppy, “yup, and it suits the doggy named Puppy.”
Taerie snaps. “You fucking shut your mouth—”
“Noona!”
The hold Puppy has on her skirt slips from his fingers as she leaps forward for
the kids, ready to attack them but the girls crowd her. Two of them are holding
Taerie back while another one stands separating her from the kids who all
running in scatter to leave the scene. Puppy whimpers, trying to get to Taerie
only to be held back by the glares he receives from the girls.
“Yah, stop!” The girl shouts, signaling for her minions to grab Taerie harder
as she still tries to wrench herself free from them. “Stop this, Kim Taerie!
It’s not like you’re any better. You’re practically out of your mind, remember?
Hearing the voices and being paranoid and your panic attack? I don’t think
those would get better with you lashing out on others. And on children for
god’s sake!”
The mention of her sickness slowing Taerie to a gradual stop, gaze wide and
unbelievable as she stares at the disgusting human being before her.
“You…you really don’t know what you’re talking about, do you?” The girl rolls
her eyes. “Look, Taerie, I just—”
“Just get away from me!” Taerie tugs her arms free with one hard pull,
simultaneously causing both girls holding her to be pushed aside. Puppy takes
the chance to run and hug her thigh again, whispering her name with his own
eyes misty with the beginning of tears.
The girls already try to open their mouth, still not give up in riling her up
but Taerie screams to keep them at bay, gluing Puppy tight to her as they step
back. “Get away from me! Leave me alone, all of you!”
“Hey, is everything okay here?” That’s when the question comes to cut through
the intense situation. They glance around to see the voice belongs to a man,
tall and formally suited up, who already stands in between the siblings and the
girls to pass curious looks between them.
“Who are you?” One of the girls asks, voice suddenly sweet and bright, when
Taerie and Puppy seem to keep quiet, clearly not knowing this stranger and only
choose to watch how the girls throw flirty and way too interested stares to the
man. They’re given bland, calm look in return.
“Then who are you? Why aren’t you leaving when someone’s clearly uncomfortable
of your presence?” Taerie almost smirks at how fast it changes the hopeful
faces of the girls into a shock.
“We’re just…” They try to start but the man briefly shakes his head, shutting
everyone up.
“I’m here for this girl and her brother,” all eyes snap to focus upon the
siblings, bewildered at how such a handsome, smart-looking man could pop out of
nowhere to look for the two orphans who are so used to being neglected. But the
man seems resolute with his decision, dismissing them with “I suggest you all
to leave first. I bet your teachers are looking for some missing students.”
With that, the girls sneak one last menacing look to Taerie and Puppy before
they leave the playground. Taerie can only breathe properly the minute they
walk away and she squats down to her brother’s height to pull him into her
embrace, Puppy hiding his face into her neck to quietly sob.
“Puppy, I’m sorry…” She soothes the boy, caressing the back of his head. “I’m
so sorry if I scared you.”
“You okay there?” Then only she remembers the man’s still there, now looking
down with worry at them. She doesn’t know how exactly he figured out the two of
them are siblings, but she isn’t going to trust him so Taerie scoops Puppy up
into her arms and stands up.
“I’m sorry but me and my brother, we’ll just go.”
“Hey, miss, you’re Kim Taerie right?” The man is fast to block her way, eyes
darting to smile at Puppy when he peeks out with shy gaze from the side of her
neck. “And you little boy, you’re Kim Puppy.”
Taerie holds Puppy just a little bit tighter to her, protective. “How…how do
you know our name? Who are you?”
The man chuckles, straightening up to brush the front of his coat as if to make
his appearance presentable and convincing. “If you come with me to a place for
a while, I can tell you how. And I have something else to tell you too.”
“But it’s not good to follow a stranger,” Puppy suddenly chirps in.
Taerie raises an eyebrow at him in a look that says ‘really?’ while the man
bursts into a quick laughter. He stretches out a hand to ruffle Puppy’s hair
which causes the kid to giggle and Taerie to take one cautious step backward.
“That’s a good one, kid. Clever boy, aren’t you?” Taerie doesn’t allow any
further conversation despite the smiles exchanged between the two males. She
still couldn’t believe this man so she pivots around to walk away, announcing
“we’ll just go.”
“No, wait. Please wait, Ms. Kim,” she clicks her tongue, beginning to lose her
temper for the second time today, yet the man doesn’t deter and continue to
explain himself. “I’m not a total stranger. I know your brother. Kim Taehyung?”
“That still doesn’t prove anything,” she answers while stepping aside but
again, is blocked. Taerie sighs out loud. “He never told me anything about
knowing someone who straight up looks like a runway model!”
It effectively stops the man from giving his rebut, mouth hanging open and
close before he follows the way Taerie is scanning along his body—coiffed up
hair a color of chestnut brown and black suit obviously too dashing and out of
place for this mere public playground. Not to mention that he’s tall, super
tall at that, with a pair of shoulders too broad to be considered your typical
office man.
“Yeah, thanks,” he settles at last, and then clears his throat. “But that
aside, I think your brother surely not a fan of telling anything about his life
out here to you two, right?”
Taerie shifts her eyes elsewhere because that’s true, Taehyung never opens up
that far to her or Puppy regarding his life outside of the orphanage once he
left.
“Well I disagree,” the man gives her a knowing look. “I think there’s something
you need to know about him.”
Taerie considers it for a second, not feeling sure whether it would worth their
safety or not to listen to this attractive stranger. But he doesn’t give her
enough time to think, clicking the key of his car to cause the beeps to
resonate and attract the siblings’ eyes upon a tempting white Prius parked by
the side road. He turns giving them a grin, sits so beautifully on his full
lips. Taerie should be smarter to know that all the bad guys don’t have to look
hideous to have bad intentions.
“So, would you two come with me now?”
She’s not smart enough, so she goes.
===============================================================================
 
“Good news, people! I have officially been accepted as your permanent
instructor starting from today! Hooray!” The announcement draws Taehyung’s
attention halfway into entering the common room of the Archery Club, furrowing
over to where Miss Go—their small but eccentric temporary club instructor—is
gushing around about her latest promotion. Well, she was their temporary
instructor. It seems like it’s not the case anymore.
Over a month and a couple of weeks before, their supposedly permanent
instructor—Mr. Kang—took a long medical leave for a reason that was
confidential to be explained to the students. And that resolved them to bring
Miss Go in, assisting them with the archery training for the meantime while Mr.
Kang was said to be resting. Of course, Taehyung knew what was confidential and
secret to others.
He was the reason why the man needed to take his leave.
He beat the man to almost death the day he thought the douchebag kidnapped his
sister.
Serve him right.
And while Taehyung knew the peace was temporary, he had been preparing his
mental and physical to the day when Mr. Kang would come and pester his life
again. So to say he’s relief and baffled with the sudden change is
understatement. Yes, he’s grateful. Maybe Mr. Kang has finally left for good.
Yet he can’t be too relief. Life always has its twisted way to fuck him up as
normal as breathing the air after all. So he gulps and makes his way to the
back of the third years to pull Jeonghan by his side.
“What’s going on?” He whispers at him.
“Taetae, you’re here!” The ever carefree club president gives his usual bright
smile at him, straight long hair gone now as it is replaced with short, neck-
length cut after three consecutive warnings. The dye remains breaking the
school rule though, it is soft purple now instead of his previous blond. “As
you heard, Miss Go will be instructing us for quite some times now. Mr. Kang
resigned from his position.”
Well, that’s simple.
“What, so he just left?” Taehyung questions again, barely believing it.
Jeonghan etches up an eyebrow at him, openly judging his insecurity.
“I thought you should be happy? That man usually bothered the hell out of you
right?”
Taehyung grunts, half smiling and half pretending to be annoyed at Jeonghan’s
sarcasm. “I am happy, thanks.”
“That’s good! Now, help me bring out more arrows?” Jeonghan already starts
walking out to the back store of the club house and Taehyung simply shrugs a
“sure,” as he follows, eyes trailing longer among the other group of first
years in hope to catch sight of the person he told himself he doesn’t want to
meet now.
Obviously it was useless since he wants to meet Jeongguk. Against all odds,
yes, he wants to.
But Taehyung lies to himself and pushes aside the slight disappointment he
feels when there’s no Jeongguk among the first years. He’s not here yet or he
just decides to skip the training.
Taehyung looks away, continuing forward to be stopped once someone calls out
behind him.
“Kim Taehyung?”
For a second, just a second, he lets his hope high that it’s Jeongguk calling
him. But then he frowns and glances over his shoulders. It’s not. It’s one of
the student body’s members instead of his boyfriend. No wonder the voice is
different.
“Yes?” Taehyung adjusts his face to not show the glum. The other boy smiles
politely at him, Taehyung recognizing him as another senior from the Filmmaking
major.
“I’m sorry to interrupt your training but the principal is looking for you,” he
informs, causing Taehyung to deepen his furrows and Jeonghan to stop on his
track, looking back at them.
“Right now? The principal?”
“Yes, please. At his office.”
Taehyung exchanges one last look with Jeonghan before he follows the student
out, not knowing what else life has in store for him.
===============================================================================
 
Jeongguk is slow while gearing up for his archery training. He doesn’t mean to
take this much time just to change into his uniform, but he can’t help getting
distracted all throughout the day since after lunch. Since after seeing
Taehyung. What supposed to be a lovey-dovey short recess with his boyfriend
turned out to be sour and awkward and it doesn’t sit well with Jeongguk. Not at
all.
He can tell something is bugging the older boy.
He noticed the way Taehyung refused to meet his eyes, he felt how stiff he was
in his arms and Jeongguk knew when his presence wasn’t welcomed. It might come
down to Taehyung really felt tired from his late night work but it doesn’t mean
it didn’t sting. It stings. Maybe a little above a bit, yet Jeongguk couldn’t
find it in him to blame his boyfriend. He needs at least to know the reason
first.
Is it him?
Jeongguk couldn’t think so because as far as he remembers, they’re perfect.
Yes, Taehyung had been quiet all the way back from Jeju and Jeongguk let him be
in favor of giving him space to rest. And even then they were inseparable.
Taehyung latched to his side the entire time with his head on his shoulder and
face nestled into Jeongguk’s neck, sleeping the journey off. So yeah, they were
perfect.
So why the cold treatment?
The short vibrate from his phone pulls Jeongguk out of his thoughts and he
sighs while picking it up, unlocking it to read a message from his mother
attached with two photos of dresses: silky_red and lacy_black.
 
From: Mom <3
Which one is better?
 
Jeongguk raises his eyebrow, studying the pictures a second longer before he
types back.
 
                                                                     To: Mom <3
                                                                            Wow
                                                          online shopping spree
                                                       hosp is that boring huh?
 
He waits as the grey bubble pops up and down, Taehyung still at the back of his
mind. Maybe his entire mind but not that Jeongguk would admit it.
 
From: Mom <3
Hush
I need a new dress
Your father asked me to come with him for
the launching gala of his newest hospital branch
I’m excited! :D
 
His screen receives a deep frown, blurring into a memory of when inviting
Taehyung to the said gala was Jeongguk’s initial mission in exposing the senior
and his father. Now that everything turns out this way, Jeongguk doesn’t think
he needs the invitation anymore. Besides, Dr. Jeon invited his wife to attend
the social gathering together? Wow, it’s been a while. And strange, especially
when he was the one so worked up once when Jeongguk wanted to bring Mrs. Jeon
out to the retirement home for charity.
 
                                                                     To: Mom <3
                                                   what so he let u out of hosp
                                                                            ???
From: Mom <3
Yes, sweetheart
Don’t worry too much
I’ll be fine ;)
Your dad confirmed my condition is ok for a night out
                                                                     To: Mom <3
                                                      just wanna make sure u ok
                                                        if its fine, then great
                                                                             :D
 
He adds the smiley emoji just for a good measure that he’s okay with it,
despite feeling something is different with his father.
 
From: Mom <3
And the dress?
Which one is beautier?
 
Jeongguk smiles, scrolling back up to inspect the red and black dresses. He can
imagine how beautiful both dresses will look on his mother. However his father
needs to learn to appreciate what he has while he still has it so…
 
                                                                     To: Mom <3
                                                       both will look good on u
                                                             but go for the red
                                                                    bold & sexy
                                                                             ;D
From: Mom <3
Naughty O_o
I like how you thinking
And stop texting, go do your club activity
                                                                     To: Mom <3
                                                                           Mom…
                                                                  YOU texted me
                                                                            -_-
From: Mom <3
xoxo
 
Unexpected texts from the number one favorite person in his life do make his
mood a little lighter. So Jeongguk closes his locker and heads straight to the
club, mission to make sure Taehyung is okay and to find out if he has problem
that he needs help with are right in his mind. The first thing he does once he
enters the place is surely to scan around for big brown eyes and cute face,
going straight to Jeonghan once he couldn’t match any faces to the beautiful
one belongs to Taehyung.
“Where’s Taehyung?”
Jeonghan doesn’t even look up, already too accustomed with the two being
attached to the hip for all the time. “He left just now, the principal called
him over to his office.”
Jeongguk furrows again for the third time he finds out something unlikely
today. Taehyung sort of ignoring him, his mother is allowed to leave hospital
for a party and now this? Jeongguk hates not knowing.
“The principal? Why? What did he want from Tae?”
“Not sure, I didn’t make it to ask. He just left,” Jeonghan does glance up this
time. Only that he’s a tad late and Jeongguk is already halfway out the main
door to rush to the office.
He’s quite sure there’s no need for him to freak out this way. Taehyung is
older and absolutely capable of himself. Yet it’s Taehyung. And he will always
freak out for his boyfriend.
===============================================================================
 
There are two pictures laid down in front of him on the principal’s table and
Taehyung can’t seem to take his eyes off them. The left side is the photo of
him performing a pole dance—a pole dance, jesus—in a pair of black lacey knee
highs and just a white button down while the right side is also a photo of him,
with his usual bartender uniform—captured in the middle of him taking the trash
out by the backstreet of the night club. He should feel panic but ironically,
Taehyung’s just numb.
He never wished for his life to turn into a huge drama, Netflix original series
of some sort, yet it still does. Magically and tragically so. Life always has
its twisted way to fuck him up as normal as breathing the air, of fucking
course.
Remember when he thought it was so fishy to actually feel relief after Mr. Kang
decided to leave the school? Apparently he’s right about life being a fan of
giving him unexpected surprises because here he is, with every part of his life
leaked out and it’s all courtesy of the fucking Kang.
“Mr. Kang left these to us before he left. He encountered you a few times there
but refused to take any action in case he got a wrong person. He got these
after his fourth and fifth time being there”
Bullshit. He came to lust over him more than Taehyung could use his entire
fingers and toes in total to count.
Like, it’s not enough with knowing his own boyfriend is lying to him for
revenge.
Like, that’s not the worst. This is the worst, having the world taking
everything away from him after he’s sacrificed so much to survive in it. To
survive living in the fucking world.
“Mr. Kim, let me ask you again,” says the principal, bringing Taehyung out of
his mind and back again to the shitty world. “Is it true the person in these
photos is you?”
Taehyung doesn’t think both he and his homeroom teacher need confirmation. The
pictures are super HD. He can even see his own mole on the tip of his nose if
he squints hard enough. Taehyung knows they just want to hear the admission out
loud from his mouth.
“Do you truly work in a night club?” His homeroom teacher continues.
“Mr. Kim?”
Fuck it. This is not the first time he’s losing things in his life. He’s going
to keep losing everything after this—his job, his study, Jeongguk—so…here goes
nothing.
“Yes,” he breathes it out, meeting the principal’s eyes without fear. “And yes.
It’s me in the pictures and I am working in the night club there.”
The principal pinches the bridge of his nose, snapping his eyes close. “But
why? You know our school forbids the students from doing any part time jobs and
you straight up doing so in a night club? Of all places and jobs?”
“That’s not just where I work.”
“Excuse me?” Again, Taehyung doesn’t think the principal missed it. He just
couldn’t deal when Taehyung speaks back. So he explains louder.
“That’s also where I live. I don’t have parents and my siblings are in
orphanage. Basically I’m poor enough that I can’t afford a proper house so they
let me stay there,” he doesn’t expect them to understand. Taehyung only needs
them to know. He’s getting tired of living in secrets too. “I don’t have any
qualification for better jobs but I still need to survive not just for me, for
my siblings as well. With all the part time jobs nowadays barely paying enough
for even daily food, how do you expect me to survive with better, proper way?
Forget about my daily expenditure, I still need to pay this school so is there
any other ways for me to have another fund? While studying and trying not to
die out of starvation?”
It’s the one time he manages to keep both of them silent. Taehyung watches how
the principal throwing uncertain glances to his homeroom teacher, expression
close to guilt and maybe, pity. But that’s not what he needs from them. That’s
never what he needs from anybody. Pity never helps him survive, money does.
“Just tell me one thing. What will happen to me?” He’s the one breaking the
silence. Because despite hating how easily fate fucking him up, Taehyung still
needs to have a rough idea of what comes next. He needs to survive, and plans
come with knowing that beforehand. “What kind of punishment will the school
give to me?”
“I can’t allow you to continue breaking the rule despite your monetary issue,
Mr. Kim. Any student isn’t allowed to do part time job regardless of what or
where it is. That’s simply the rule and not to mention you’re working at a
place practically still illegal for you,” the principal reasons. “To avoid any
problem arises with PTA, I’m afraid I need to ask you to quit the school.”
There it is. Losing things in his life.
Taehyung’s prepared himself for this. It shouldn’t feel this fucking hurt.
His homeroom teacher steps forward, eyes concern on Taehyung. “But sir, how
about a few days suspension? Give Mr. Kim some times to quit his job?”
The principal lets out a sigh.
“What’s the guarantee for you to quit, Mr. Kim? You said yourself you can’t
afford this school without your job. Yet by keeping your job, you need to break
the rule of this school. I think it’s wise for you to choose only one.”
What choices? Like he fucking has them. He still has his little siblings, for
fuck’s sake.
“Besides, you live there. If you quit, where would you stay? I can’t risk
another person seeing you there, especially the parents. This school has
reputation.”
Fucking pathetic rich people and their fucking fronting. Taehyung gives up.
He would never ever trade his siblings’ education and future with this so he
takes a deep breath, ready to say yes when the door bangs against the wall and
someone bursts in.   
“He will quit the job,” the boy states, tone firm and final and he’s staring at
their principal as if to dare him to deny what he’s about to say.
Pieces of Taehyung’s heart scatter to the floor and gone.
“Jeongguk…” The boy meets his eyes, gaze a difficult mixture of panic, worry
and something soft, so fond and loving that Taehyung wishes his boyfriend
didn’t stare at him with that look. Is he? His boyfriend?
“Mr. Jeon, have you been listening from outside?” The homeroom teacher
interrupts them. Jeongguk cuts their staring battle to direct a firm look upon
the principal, totally ignoring the teacher.
“My family, Jeon Medical Center offers many kinds of scholarship. I can get one
for Mr. Kim and that way, he can afford both this school and his life. He
doesn’t need to work anymore.”
Taehyung’s expression only hardens at this because what did he just say?
He’s not the only one taken aback by the suggestion because the principal and
his homeroom teacher also share the look as if Jeongguk is growing two heads
right in front of them. Taehyung averts his eyes, no longer able to stare at
Jeongguk. The only thing he wants to do right now is to leave this room. And
everyone.
The principal sighs again, sounding heavier and longer this time as he leans
against his leather chair, hands clasp together atop his desk.
“Before we consider that, Mr. Jeon, must I ask you of why are you here? Why are
you so concern and invested in a senior’s problem?”
Yes, why? Why? Why does he care? Taehyung wants to shout it at his face if he
had enough energy. His homeroom teacher questions again. “You two know each
other?”
Jeongguk glances at him and it’s Taehyung’s turn to dare him a sharp look that
says ‘go on and fuck me up one more time, if you dare.’
Thankfully he gets it and both of them stay quiet until the principal shakes
his head, doesn’t understand the situation just like everybody else.
“I will dismiss both of you for now. We will call you back once we’ve decided
upon your punishment, Mr. Kim.”
===============================================================================
 
They walk in total, deafening silence. He can tell Jeongguk wants to say
something. He sees him falling into steps way too close beside him and trying
to lace their fingers together but Taehyung ignores the brushes of their skin.
He’s losing bearing of everything in his life and he doesn’t think even
Jeongguk could hold him in place. Not Jeongguk, especially not him.
A rational part of him knows this doesn’t have to be such a big deal. All they
need from each other is honesty and once both sides are telling their own
truth, maybe, they can forgive each other and move on. Forget about everything
and love each other, more deeply. Because Taehyung isn’t the one at fault and
Jeongguk simply misunderstands him. It can be solved. He knows it can be.
Another part of him, however, questions why he is always the victim of every
fucking thing. Parents wanted to leave their children? Leave them to the
fourteen years old Taehyung to take care of it. His siblings needed a better
place to live than the shitty orphanage? Taehyung is the oldest one, he can
figure it out and work on it. No better jobs that offered so much money? He’s
got his body to sell, problem solved. And even for once, just for once, he
tried a different, cleaner way to gain money, the son of his fucking customer
found him all the way to accuse him of cheating with his father? How beautiful,
his life.
Big fucking deal.
Taehyung’s just so tired. He needs every single secret to unravel now. Like,
fucking now.
He stills on his spot, eyes focus upon their reflection on the polished tiles
and sees how Jeongguk stops right next to him. He wants them to stay side by
side like this. But he can’t take the lie. Not anymore.
“For once, Jeonggukie,” he feels the boy’s eyes burning the side of his face.
Even saying his name is painful. “Don’t try to get yourself involved in my
business. Please.”
Because there’s no need for Jeongguk to act like he cares that far. He can take
off his façade now, Taehyung really wants to see the real Jeongguk behind it.
Jeongguk scoffs. “But that’s your future, Tae! Graduating will give you better
future and better job and also better life! It’s already your last year here,
it would be such a waste to just quit like that! Besides, I know how much you
love doing arts. You can’t give up now.”
“I do,” Taehyung’s voice is quiet, turning sideway to stare at him to talk
because he doesn’t have the will to speak any louder. He’s breaking. “But since
it’s my future, I’ll be the one to deal with anything that comes in my way. Not
you, or anyone else. So please, leave me alone.”
Jeongguk stubbornly shakes his head, leaning into Taehyung’s space to grasp him
by his shoulders.
“Leave you alone? Are you out of your mind? I can never leave you alone, I want
to help you!”
“Help me, how? By forcing your family’s scholarship on me? You searched so hard
for me in hating of what have your father paid me for so why do you want to
waste more of his money on me now?”
And Taehyung watches how it all changes; the huge fraction of Jeongguk’s dark
pupils are enlarging, the slow part of his mouth are trying to slip a gasp, the
gradual decreasing pressure of his hold on his shoulders as it loosening and
the blood draining his face. All of it, forming one major, super shock in Jeon
Jeongguk.
Taehyung’s satisfied. Yet he’s also dying. It’s akin to death to feel his heart
being wrenched off his chest and slammed back inside again, only for the
process to repeat. Wrench and slam. Again and again.
It. Fucking. Hurts.
“I know who you are, Jeon Jeongguk,” Taehyung tells himself not to cry, even
when something already crystalized in Jeongguk’s eyes. “I know who your father
is, I know where you used to live before the apartment and I know you only came
into my life to avenge your mother.”
Taehyung reaches up to circle his palms around Jeongguk’s elbows, and pulls his
hands down, away from touching him. Gone is the warmth that has always been his
favorite safety blanket ever since he knew Jeongguk. He tells himself one more
time to not cry.
“I know you thought I caused your broken family to be worse than it already
is.”
Jeongguk swallows. “How?” The only word he seems capable to say, despite still
looking like he’s choking on a knife. Taehyung doesn’t want to believe he’s
hurting too. Jeongguk’s just good at acting and for that, Taehyung is-not-
going-to-cry.
“The first night you came to the club and went straight to me and bought me
drink and kissed me? You already knew I was your target, didn’t you?” Jeongguk
doesn’t answer him, stay staring at him through cloudy eyes but it’s more than
enough to tell Taehyung he’s right.
He smiles. It hurts.
“Yeah, you did well in your acting but bringing Yugyeom along wasn’t the
cleverest idea,” he intends it to sound mean and full of sarcasm but how can he
be mean to someone who has his whole heart? His whole soul? “He told me the
night at Jeju how your mission went from paying revenge to finding love. How
sweet. Am I really the one you fall in love with, Jeongguk? Are you sure it
isn’t a part of the plan?”
Please say something. Anything.
Jeongguk’s quiet. So quiet. The most quiet since he decided to crash into his
life and fuck with it.
Don’t cry, Kim Taehyung.
Taehyung closes his eyes for a second, deep breath, and then laughs.
“You shouldn’t have to pretend this long, you know. You can just say it to my
face right from the start that you want me to stay away from your father. Even
if he’s not paying me for sex, I’m not thick skinned enough to keep on getting
paid if that’s what caused your family to fall apart.”
Jeongguk shakes his head, like he’s desperate to deny it, with still no words
come out of his mouth. Eyes speaking so relentlessly, voice making no sound.
“Broken family, Jeonggukie…” Taehyung laughs some more, because he can’t cry.
“I’m of all the people in this world know that awful feeling. You just need to
speak the truth to me and I’ll leave. I won’t bother anyone anymore.”
A tear slips from a corner of Jeongguk’s eye and down to trail along his cheek.
Fuck. Taehyung reallywants to cry.
Hurting by himself is bad enough. Looking at the one he likes, treasures,
appreciates and loves is hurting is like actual death. Death. The cruelest kind
of pain.
Taehyung hates him, but he can’t cry. He never wants to see Jeongguk cry.
He balls his hands into fists. Gripping them tight and sticking them to his
sides so that he doesn’t do something stupid. Like reach out and wipe on
Jeongguk’s cheek.
“Still, a part of me…hopes you would tell me I’m wrong. I’m wrong. You’re not
the same Jeon Jeongguk who I thought you are.”
Taehyung locks their eyes, wet pools of tears against red-rimmed circles, and
begs for Jeongguk to say you’re wrong.
Tell him he’s wrong and he will let it go.
Tell him he’s wrong and he will step forward to Jeongguk.
Tell him he’s wrong and he will pull him into his arms and forgive him.
Tell him he’s wrong and he will never force himself to stop loving Jeon
Jeongguk.
“…but then I’ll be lying to you. Again,” is what Jeongguk tells him and
Taehyung couldn’t stop himself.
He tries one more fucking time not to cry. Fails spectacularly and sobs. One
tear to two tears to three to more and Taehyung kicks himself into a run.
He turns around and runs and cries.
He hates how Jeongguk doesn’t stop him. He hates how as pathetic as it is, he
still has this tiny hope in him. He hates how miserable he is, because of him.
Because of Jeon Jeongguk.
===============================================================================
 
“What?” Hoseok couldn’t believe his eyes. He pinches his thumb and index finger
together to zoom upon the instagram picture he’s currently staring on.
It’s Wednesday night, just the mid of the week and by nature, Hoseok’s already
half dead to go through the weekend. Whoever says college life is going to be
all parties and love in air with the least of studying to do—because it’s
college, don’t act like you know what you’re doing!—surely has their brain far
up their own ass. So yeah, it sounds a tad aggressive but Jung Hoseok is
totally not having that all-fun-and-games college routine.
He’s dying okay? Classes, dance practices, assignments, street performances,
showcases, and then classes again, it’s a complete hell instead of fun. When
will this delusional statement of just go to college, your life will be fine
finally be included in the book of World’s Record as The Most Misleading
Statement Ever? God, Hoseok hopes someone would do so.
Therefore, to keep his sanity in check, he decides to have a short rest (oh
c’mon, short also means four hours nap and way too much snacks with social
media right?) and currently sprawls across a dusty grey carpet in his tiny
apartment to perform a cycle of scrolling through Instagram, Twitter, Facebook,
and Instagram again. Sometimes Kakaotalk, to reply to his group chats but right
now, he’s on Instagram and is convinced his eyes are deceiving him because is
this really Park Jimin? Displaying his famous eyesmile through Hoseok’s phone
screen and having one arm drapes around the shoulders of Kim Namjoon? Namjoon
like, his own fucking roommate?
“No, no, no. It’s not him, no,” Hoseok’s in denial, shaking his head a few
times as he puts down his phone at 11:38 pm, only to pick it up again at 11:39
to make sure Park Jimin isn’t the one in that picture. The caption says
kimMonnie94 had a blast tonight!!! Turned up with ma dude here ;)
Ma dude? What now they’re on ma dudeterm? No fair!
The same face remains grinning at him, eyes disappeared into slits and plump
lips stretched wide with the force of his smile, beautiful. It is Park Jimin.
“It is him…” he mumbles, shoulders down and then his own eyes enlarging.
“Yah, Kim fucking Namjoon!”
He sprints to the kitchen, having half a mind to remind Namjoon that kitchen
isn’t the most suitable place he should be near at and feeling relieved once he
finds out his roommate isn’t touching anything with fire or glass, he just
crawled out of the dining table, his usual Ryan printed boxers in hands—Ryan
printed boxers down there?—he’s not going to ask.
“’sup dude?” Namjoon stands up, tossing the boxers up the table and sitting his
ass down on a stool. Hoseok cringes.
“Don’twhat’s up dudeme when you never told me you know Park Jimin!”
Namjoon chuckles with half chewed burger still in mouth. “Wow, you know
Chimchim?”
“No, I don’t—wait, what? Chimchim? Who the fuck is that?”
“Park Jimin, dude. It’s his petname from customers in the club.”
“Nasty,” Hoseok cringes again, his iconic I’m offended face on display. “But
wait, club? You mean the same club as the one you working as the DJ? Jiminie
works there too?”
Namjoon nods. “Yeah, he’s a bartender, dancer and singer. Why? How did you know
him?”
“’Cuz he fucking joined my dance team once for a competition!” Hoseok groans,
sitting on another stool across from Namjoon.
“Yeah? That’s cool.”
“Don’t yeah that’s cool me! You never fucking me told me you know Park Jimin
all this fucking time!”
“Well calm down, pussy, you never even asked,” Namjoon rolls his eyes as if it
was most reasonable reason. “You’re always busy with your dancing and nursing
your porn habit, remember? You always said no whenever I invited you to the
club.”
Hoseok doesn’t cringe, he scoffs now. “It’s VIPs shithole! I’m a broke college
student, what do you expect? And I only watch porn every Saturday and Thursday
night, it’s not that bad.”
“That’s totally the point, dude,” Namjoon makes a face of oh I totally believe
you. “But what is it? Why are you freaking out about me knowing him out of the
blue moon?”
“Keep your poetic, philosophical metaphors away from me, sucka. I’m done
braining all of them,” Hoseok now is face planting onto the table surface,
voice muffled together with his sadness of only knowing his roommate is friends
with the only boy he wants to get close with. Somewhere along the line Hoseok
thinks he hears a “you’re just fucking stupid,” from Namjoon above his head.
Yet he likes to assume he doesn’t receive that. He’s moping now.
“I just…I don’t know, we haven’t contacted each other since the competition
ended. Then suddenly, you posted a selca with him on your instagram,” he at
last reasons.
“Yeah, it’s a cute selca and raises my likes for about,” Namjoon checks on his
phone, whistling in awe. “Another 500?! Power of Chimchim, dude,” he puts it
away and winks at how Hoseok glares hearing that nickname.
Namjoon sighs. “It’s just a photo, why are you trippin’?”
Hoseok snaps back up, sitting straight. “I’m not tripping, I just…why? Do you
really need to take selca with him for extra 500 likes?”
Because he’s so not jealous. No. He’s just shocked, taken aback, surprised,
bewildered and whatever other synonyms to describe how unbelievable Hoseok is
feeling right now. He’s ran out of ways to keep in touch with Jimin ever since
the competition ended and all the while his own roommate was getting turned up
with Jimin? Hoseok hates how small the world can be. It makes him look stupid.
A bit, maybe, but still. He’s not jealous of his roommate being close to Jimin.
When Hoseok sneaks a look over at Namjoon, the urge to punch him on the face is
high because are you implying I’m jealous now?
“Okay, Hobi, I’ll give you one simple solution,” great, now Namjoon is putting
on The Voice—the wise, philosophical voice that’s about to give Hoseok no room
but to listen. “You said you haven’t spoken to him since the contest ended
right? Then contact him. Text him, call him, do whatever you must. And you can
even facetime or take a selca with him. Then you have your own insta and post
it up. Case close, it’s all fair. Get your own extra 500 likes.”
Hoseok groans. “This is not about insta likes.”
“Then why is it?” Namjoon looks genuinely confused now, being left dumbfounded
in silence with Hoseok rubs his nape uncertainly before he gasps. Hoseok
squints over at him.
“Fucking jesus, you like him?” Namjoon smiles like he just solved the most
difficult crossword ever, two deep dimples on display. Hoseok blinks.
“I do? I like Jiminie?”
“Yeah, man. You fucking jealous.”
“Nah...why would I be jealous?” Hoseok dismisses it with a wave of his hand.
Then he gulps. “Surprised, yeah. Jealous, pffh.”
Namjoon can only nod, standing up from the chair. “Alright, bro. Keep telling
yourself that.”
Hoseok wants to defend himself some more, but quickly decides he’s not going to
win it so he asks instead “What are you doing?”
“Texting my fiancé,” Namjoon waves his phone in a sweep before Hoseok’s eyes.
“‘Cuz unlike you, I don’t have to feel insecure over a selca. This baby,” he
taps his wallpaper, with a handsome guy Hoseok remembers as Seokjin smiling
there. “Is mine!”
Then he’s gone, making kissy noises all the way out just to annoy Hoseok and
yes, he is annoyed. Since the night they met in the haunted house and they had
the small talk about Hoseok’s sexuality and all, Jimin chose to ignore him. He
didn’t speak to him all the way back to Seoul and he simply slipped a short
thanks before he left and barely responded in the dance team group chat.
They added him, despite being a temporary member, but Hoseok can tell Jimin is
trying to limit their connection. Maybe it’s all down to when Hoseok tried to
kiss him. Maybe Jimin doesn’t swing that way. Maybe he’s just busy with his own
life. Maybe Hoseok just misses him.
Nevertheless, he can try.
He goes back to the living room, unlocking his phone and contemplating between
to tap upon Gay Asses or Jimochi. Hoseok takes a deep breath, not knowing
texting someone could feel this nerve-wrecking.
To: Jimochi
Hey, jiminie
hw r u?
He probably would get his reply in another two hours or not at all. So when it
beeps after two and half seconds, Hoseok jumps. Legit jumps away from his
phone. Jesus.
                                                                  From: Jimochi
                                                          fine. what do u want?
 
Well that’s…cold. But he still replied so Hoseok tries again.
 
To: Jimochi
nothing.
juz wanna know hw u been doing
 
Really, Hoseok? He just said he’s fine. Don’t let it die here, be creative.
 
To: Jimochi
u wanna go out for a drink? my treat
Hoseok swears the popping grey bubble is the scariest thing. Ever.
                                                                  From: Jimochi
                                                                            wow
                                         I thought u only had urself & the rest
                                                         what happened to that?
 
Hoseok cringes. He’s kind of a douchebag tool to Jimin, isn’t he? He needs to
fix this.
 
To: Jimochi
look, jiminie.
I didn’t mean to hurt u ok?
I know I was being creepy by trying to kiss u
u r not an experiment. Im sorry.
let’s go out for a drink? really sorry!!!
                                                                  From: Jimochi
                                                              don’t shout at me
                                                      thats not how u apologize
To: Jimochi
sorry!!!
shit I sent 3 exclamation marks
I mean, im sorry.
Sorry, like, im really, really, really sorry
So yeah, 3 exclamations
                                                                  From: Jimochi
                                                                   u idiot dork
                                                        where do u wanna drink?
 
He goes from cringing to gulping to grinning. Creepy.
 
To: Jimochi
Café bene
Is that ok?
                                                                  From: Jimochi
                                                                     U r paying
                                                                Of course im ok
To: Jimochi
Perfect!
Just one exclamation mark, im not yelling
Promise :D
                                                                  From: Jimochi
                                                                    Ok, nerd :/
 
He wonders if this is a date or just friends hanging out together again. God,
he really is a nerd.
===============================================================================
 
“Taerie would look good wearing green.” The knitted pastel green scarf almost
slips through Taehyung’s fingers once he hears the comment coming from behind
him. He tightens his grip upon the soft fabric before tilting his head around,
meeting the smiling face of a lady whose son breaking his heart.
Taehyung swallows, didn’t expect it to encounter her in a shopping mall.
“Mrs…Mrs. Jeon,” he looks back down to the scarf, barely recalling how he
considered buying it for Taerie a minute before since winter is fast
approaching. She needs something warm. Taehyung carefully glances up. “You
remember me and my siblings?”
She smiles again, not quite like Jeongguk but still heartwarming. “Please,
Taehyung, you’re all Jeongguk talks about.”
He stops himself from flinching, refuses for Mrs. Jeon to see how affected he
is even towards the smallest thing about Jeongguk. He laughs it off instead.
“Oh, I didn’t know he did.”
“He did, and still does. It’s a habit now.”
Taehyung needs to change a topic, desperately roaming his eyes around.
“What…what are you doing here, Mrs. Jeon?”
“Ah, I’m just…” She holds up two shopping bags, both are printed with popular
brands Taehyung never dares himself to consider peeking on the price tags.
“Picking up my new dress. My husband wants me to attend a gathering with him so
I might as well look presentable after a long time in hospital. Don’t you
think?”
“Totally,” he briefly agrees, not knowing what else to say. “I’m sure you’ll
look great.”
When the silence falls again, Taehyung takes the chance to excuse himself,
starting by putting down the scarf back to its display case. But Mrs. Jeon is
faster in grabbing hold of his elbow.
“How about we stop for a drink? I’ll buy you and your siblings something. Are
you going to visit them after this?”
Drink, is definitely a bad idea.
“No, not today. Today I’m just…doing some grocery shopping and all but I’ll
catch up with them, soon.”
“I see,” Mrs. Jeon still doesn’t let go of his arm, and Taehyung still doesn’t
learn how to say no to anything Jeon-related. “But we still can have that
drink! Let’s go!”
Thought so.
“Here, your ice latte,” of course they end up at the nearest coffee shop.
Taehyung watches as Mrs. Jeon place down his drink and he swears he’s tried to
order the cheapest drink in here. And still, he’s afraid to drink the latte
because it equally costs him his expenditure for good two days. “Thank you,” is
what he can say at last, still watching as the lady sits down in front of him.
Jeongguk’s mother is a beautiful lady. Not in the sense that money makes her
pretty and elegant, no. Clothes, accessories and expensive car are just
addition around her. It’s something in her face, always calm and occupied with
smiles, and her aura. It’s sweet, motherly and effortlessly charming. She has
that ability to soothe everyone in her presence. And her eyes, her soft stare,
they remind him of the doe innocent gaze of Jeongguk. Taehyung always has a
weakness against that.
No wonder Dr. Jeon was nearly insane to know he might be losing her. No wonder
Jeongguk did the stupid shit he did just to have justice for her. It would be
heartbreaking to lose someone like Mrs. Jeon. 
“How are you feeling, Mrs. Jeon?” He couldn’t help but ask, because despite her
son’s stupid decision, Taehyung still cares about this woman. She’s his
grandma’s friend and of course, Taehyung always wonders what it’s like to have
a loving mother. He couldn’t remember having one.
Like always, she smiles. A beautiful pink curve across her lips.
“I’m good, sweetheart. I’m feeling fine now. It’s worth living when you know
how long you still have for life. It reminds you to make the most of every
day.”
There it is. The truth to why Jeongguk did what he did to Taehyung. Because his
mother’s dying, and no one deserves to be cheated over the way Jeongguk thought
Dr. Jeon was doing behind their back with Taehyung.
But that’s not true. It’s never true.
“Ah, yeah. I almost forgot,” Taehyung exhales shakily, steadying his breath to
not come out as a sob as he focuses on Mrs. Jeon who pulls a silver envelope
out of her handbag. She slides it across the table to Taehyung. “Here, the
gathering I talked about.”
Taehyung flips it around, pulling out a card that written an invitation to the
Grand Launching of Jeon Medical Center, the newest branch in Yangju. He frowns
upon the cursive letters. “Okay…and this is…”
“The invitation card. I hope you can come as Jeongguk’s partner,” she requests,
smiling hopefully. Taehyung laughs a little because how can he still face her
son? He knew this gala was supposed to be Jeongguk’s biggest plan in exposing
both Dr. Jeon and him in front of everyone. That’s why he made a deal with
Taehyung about this the first time he entered his life.
“Well I’m not sure if he’s a party type,” is what he says instead. Mrs. Jeon
nods, agreeing. “He’s not, but he knows it would be bearable if you’re there to
accompany him.”
Taehyung finds it hard to stay looking at her, knowing that whatever he has
with Jeongguk, it is so fragile. Their relationship can easily be broken and
even now, Taehyung isn’t sure anymore of where he stands to Jeongguk. So Mrs.
Jeon can’t just easily say things like that to him. It’s conflicting.
“If you both don’t fancy big party, later we can have our own small, family
party! You can bring along your siblings and grandma and I’ll cook delicacies
for all of you!” She continues after another silence and okay, this is starting
to get out of hands. Taehyung wants her to stop. “I’ll cook Jajangmyun, of
course, because that’s Jeongguk’s favorite and then—”
“Mrs. Jeon,” he interrupts, a bit harshly. The lady blinks at him. “But…why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you inviting me to such a private party?”
Because it all starts to confuse the hell out of him. The act of caring about
his life, about his future, about his wellbeing—all of this seriously beginning
to get to him. Regardless of from which Jeon he’s receiving it.
But Mrs. Jeon is smiling, easily so. A sight of beauty and melancholy.
“Because you’re important to Jeongguk,” it sounds like the most obvious,
definite answer. Taehyung isn’t sure what to believe anymore. This is Mrs.
Jeon, Jeongguk’s mother. And if there’s someone Taehyung knows Jeongguk won’t
be lying at, then it’s her. So when she said that, she…she has no idea how it
wrecks Taehyung.
The lady reaches across the table, touching gently below his chin to tilt his
head back up and see how Taehyung’s trying so hard not to break down. Again.
“You’re special to him, Taehyung-ah and I…I just wanna thank you.”
“For what, Mrs. Jeon?”
“For bringing true happiness to my son. It’s been a long time since I last saw
Jeongguk being that happy. Genuinely smiling, actively talking about someone…I
really missed that chatty, caring and full of life Jeongguk. And it’s all
because of you.”
Taehyung can’t do this. He can’t. He can’t risk being another stupid who will
believe everything people throw at his way.
But Mrs. Jeon is so kind, so gentle, so sincere that for a second, just a
second, Taehyung wants to forgive Jeongguk and believe in everything. Believe
that he can be together with him, he can be happy with him.
“Thank you for being with my son. It’s a relief, you know,” Mrs. Jeon’s own
eyes are growing misty red now.
“A relief because I know, once I’m no longer there for him, at least he has
someone like you with him,” she sniffs and the world around Taehyung is
crumbling. Or maybe it’s him. Just Taehyung, crumbling. “I hope you can
continue being by his side for a long time. Nothing would make me happier than
knowing that.”
That’s a huge, huge request that Taehyung can’t afford to grant.
===============================================================================
 
To: Baby Taetae
Tae, baby, I know u r mad at me
u can. Rightfully so.
but there’s a lot I need to tell u
there’s still a lot u need to know
& for me to know from u
plez, baby we need to talk
we r not over
u know that right?
 
Jeongguk rereads the string of messages. And then again, and again until he is
sure they’re all left on read without any reply. He sighs while locking and
pocketing his phone back into his jeans pocket, continuing with his way to the
night club.
He knows this day would come sooner or later, the day when Taehyung finally
finds out the truth and decides he won’t stick around for someone full of
bullshits like Jeongguk, for someone who lied to him and played his feelings.
He knows. He understands.
There’s no amount of preparation, however, that could warn him of how hurtful
it would be once he finally feels it. He was late, he waited too long to find
out the truth and he held it back from telling everything to Taehyung just
because he was a coward. The other day, he can’t even move his feet to go after
Taehyung, after what important the most to him, when he ran away.
That’s what how it should be right? Taehyung leaving him after everything is
revealed. Because that was the plan, that was what he wanted.
Yet only after his back was turned on him that Jeongguk knew, revenge wasn’t as
satisfying as it should be. Revenge is painful, ruining his entire soul and
robbing him of the most beautiful thing that ever happened to him. Jeongguk
regrets it all.
He’s wrong. And there’s no telling that he still has place in Taehyung’s life
or Taehyung’s heart to have a second chance and make it better but Jeongguk
refuses to make another bad decision. He’s the one choosing to be with Taehyung
so he’s sticking up to it. He will try his hardest to explain and take every
effort within his capability to show Taehyung that yes, he made a mistake, but
he’s learning from it.
He can learn to be better for Taehyung, for them.
Jeongguk wants to love him better.
And he will start now, by meeting Taehyung and baring his all to him, even if
he’s currently half dead from the possibility of losing Taehyung forever.  
 
To: Baby Taetae
Darling, im outside the club
back entrance
come let me in?
 
Jeongguk sends it as soon as the back view of the club building comes into his
sight. Numerous people are there as well, smoking weed or gulping alcohol
together and every now and then, they throw Jeongguk judging glances especially
at how he keeps checking his phone and clicking his tongue when there’s still
no reply from Taehyung. He resolves to another method, deeming that Taehyung
might also ignore his call, and until about another three minutes, the back
door is pushed open to reveal Jimin in a set of glamorous outfit instead of his
usual black and white bartender uniform. He must be dancing tonight, sweat
visible on his forehead and most part of his revealing tank top. Jeongguk
ignores it, stepping forward to him despite the shock appearing on Jimin’s face
at the first glance of him.
“Man, you look awful.” He feels awful, even without the elder pointing it out
since he knows what Jimin is referring to. It’s him and his entire being, lost
and unorganized since the day Taehyung exposed the truth that was supposed to
break the senior, not the other way round.
Well, it’s clear Jeongguk doesn’t deal well with it. Because he’s a total mess,
judging from the exhaustion apparent on his face—welcome back insomnia—and the
way he dressed so swiftly with just a torn faded jeans plus the most
unattractive white shirt he owns. Or, the only last clean shirt he dug out from
his closet because what is laundry again?
“So what’s the matter with you and Tae?” He stops Jeongguk from entering the
club, standing there with his back supported by the frame. For a moment
Jeongguk doesn’t know what to say, isn’t sure how far Taehyung might have told
his best friend about this problem they have between them. He can only give
Jimin a helpless look while he waits for Jeongguk to speak.
“I texted him, told him I wanna see him tonight. He didn’t reply me.”
“Maybe that’s because he’s sleeping. He’s not working tonight, he kinda sick,”
Jimin reasons nonchalantly but Jeongguk is instantly filled with worries.
“What? Is he okay?”
Jimin shrugs. “Well maybe just a cold and flu but he—”
“What?” Jeongguk questions defensively, wary of the way Jimin squints looking
at him.
“You’re his boyfriend, you supposed to know better than me. So why didn’t you
know?”
Well, Jeongguk has no answer to that. He gets that Jimin knows what’s going on
from the way he scratches his nape, avoiding his stare by looking down to his
shoes instead.
“You guys are fighting, aren’t you?” It’s not entirely true because there
wasn’t any big fight. Taehyung just…shuts him out. And it hurts, so badly. It
feels like a worst kind of rejection. Jimin sighs. “One time you guys were
disgustingly sweet and the next time I blinked this happened? That’s annoyingly
domestic, go away.”
“Wait, wait!” Jeongguk jerks forward to stop Jimin from closing the door on his
face. He desperately says, “That’s why I need to see him. I need to talk with
Tae and fix this, I can’t just let it continue to happen.”
“But he’s not working tonight, which means you won’t see him around the club.”
“Then show me the way to his room.”
“I can’t. That area is limited to staff and customers who already booked them.
You’re not his customer so surely your name isn’t on the list tonight. The
guards won’t let you through.”
It’s Jeongguk’s turn to narrow his eyes at Jimin.
“Wait, so y’all legit have guards and customer list?” The elder nods as if it’s
obvious, to which Jeongguk can only snort with a shake of his head. “Wow, super
fucking organized.”
“Unfortunately so. The only choice you have is to meet him tomorrow at school
so bye—”
“Wait, Jimin-ah—” He tries again to block the door from closing up. “It’s hyung
to you!”
Jeongguk inhales deeply, inserting his foot between the doorstep and Jimin in
case he decides to just slam it close and not listen to him. “Okay, Jimin
hyung, I’m asking you as nicely as I can to register me as a customer. Please,
I need to see Taehyung no matter what and I can’t wait until tomorrow.”
Jimin scoffs. “Are you really that desperate? I thought this is just a usual
fight between couple.”
God, Jeongguk wishes that was the case.
“We’re not really fighting, I just really need to explain a lot to him.” He
pouts a bit the longer Jimin keeps silent to study him, praying aegyo would
work its magic on him. “Please?”
So when Jimin lets out another sigh, it indicates his victory. Jimin leads him
all through the club, actively running with parties, bombing music and bodies
grinding close unstoppably until they enter a narrow path just behind the bars
to meet a guy guarding what it seems like a long corridor in between two rows
of small doors, one facing the other like in a hotel. Jeongguk focuses back to
the guy, noting he’s as scarily huge as the guards by the club’s main entrance.
Jimin, however, doesn’t even pay a mind on their size difference as he calmly
says “Let him in, he’s on V.”
The huge guy scans Jeongguk up and down, then looks down to a tab he’s holding
on. Talk about organized system and all, it creeps Jeongguk out a little.
“Name?”
Jeongguk almost splutters, panicking of the unexpected question but Jimin’s
quicker in answering for him.
“Song Eunhye. But his name isn’t in there though, V just texted me. Late
registration.” Whatever the fuck that means as Jeongguk tries to keep up with
Jimin’s straight face until the guard nods and steps aside to let them into the
corridor.
Only once they’re within a safe distance away from him that Jeongguk dares
himself to ask, “Who the fuck is Song Eunhye?”
“If you wanna get in trouble, try using your real name while booking for a
hooker next time,” Jimin says easily while he rounds another corner to the
right by the end of the corridor and stops on the last door.
“This is him,” he points to the room numbered as 12. “You’re Song Eunhye,
remember that. In case they come to check on you.”
“I can’t believe a procedure to fuck can be this complicated,” he comments
drily. Jimin chuckles and lands a light jab to his chest.
“We’re not on A list for nothing. Now sort this shit out, I don’t wanna see Tae
moping again tomorrow.”
And then he’s left there, alone on the rather quiet corridor. Jeongguk takes a
moment to clear his head, knowing this is his only chance to make things right
between him and Taehyung. Now or never.
So he knocks. There’s no answer for a moment, silent.
He tries once again, louder this time and wonders if Taehyung is sleeping his
cold away. His poor, poor baby. And it’s all because of him. Desperate, he raps
his knuckles against the door while chocking on a sob to stop himself from
whimpering and begging right there and then for Taehyung to open up to him
until he doesn’t realize when the knock grows louder. Before he could control
himself, a groan resonates on the other side and someone’s grappling harshly
upon the knob, wrenching the door open.
“Damn it, man! I thought I fucking told you I’m not—”
The annoyance on Taehyung drains into a shock, killing his words, the moment he
registers the person standing before him is Jeongguk. The younger is as
surprised as him too, not expecting Taehyung to still look beautiful as ever
even with tiredness matching his own. His soft brown hair is in a natural style
of a nest, his sweater is way too big for him and his baggy pants signaling to
Jeongguk of how unwelcomed he is, how Taehyung has nothing else in mind but to
be alone. Still, he’s dead beautiful and Jeongguk misses him. So much.
Missing him as his expression slowly shifts to gloomy, missing him as he’s
breathing softly to the ups and downs of his shoulders, missing him as he
simply standing there and just really, really missing him as Kim Taehyung.
Jeongguk’s sweetheart. Jeongguk’s boyfriend. Jeongguk’s precious person.
He never wants to lose him.
“You’re not taking any customer tonight, I know,” he finishes a little
breathlessly, having to clear his throat from how dry it feels due to wanting
to say so much but keeping quiet for so long. “I still need to see you though,”
he adds for a good measure.
“Fucking hell, get inside,” Taehyung instructs as he ducks his head out of the
door, eyeing the corridor for a quick scan to make sure no prying attention is
on them before he steps aside. He doesn’t pull Jeongguk’s hand but the
invitation is there. It’s good enough.
“How did you get in?” Taehyung asks as soon as he’s got the door locked and
turns to stare at Jeongguk who stands awkwardly in the middle of the small
room, eyes everywhere.
So this is Taehyung’s living space, smaller than the bathroom Jeongguk have in
his apartment. Right in front of him is laid a single bed with unmade sheets,
Taehyung’s clothes are just a cluster of mess hanging from a rope he hangs from
one end of a wall up to the other opposite, shoes below them and another
cupboard sized hole which Jeongguk assumes the toilet. It really does look like
a place for a quick fuck. But it’s also where Taehyung has been living his
entire life in Seoul.
Jeongguk’s chest tightens uncomfortably.
“Jimin,” he mutters once he deems his voice won’t break into a sniff.
“And what did you tell the guard? The one guarding the rooms?”
“Song Eunhye, that’s your customer tonight. Late registration?” This time,
Jeongguk at last turns to face him again, noticing there’s only a step or two
separating them from how tiny the space is but it’s the farthest Jeongguk ever
felt between him and Taehyung.
Because Taehyung doesn’t move, doesn’t even speak to him as he continues to
just stare into Jeongguk’s breaking soul. He wants to hold him now, now, and
it’s eating him inside out to know that he can’t.
“Look, would this get you in any trouble? Because if it does, I’ll leave. Just
promise me you’ll see me tomorrow at school. And please, reply my text,”
Jeongguk pleads, doesn’t care of losing his dignity anymore.
Taehyung shakes his head, albeit the movement being so subtle and easily
missable if it’s not for Jeongguk’s entire attention already on him.
“It’s fine. You can stay,” he breaks their eye contact while he moves to the
bed, sitting by the farthest corner of it, back upon the headboard and hugs his
arms around himself. “Why are you here, Jeongguk? What else do you want from
me?”
Everything. He wants everything to do with Taehyung yet he’s also losing it
all. He doesn’t deserve it, but still too stubborn to give up. So he tries,
starting with a deep inhale.
“Tae, I know what I did to you was shitty, useless and goddamn stupid,” the
elder glances back up to him this time, face unreadable. “Because when I
thought I could hurt you and my dad and everything would be settled, none of
that was true. In the end, I was just playing myself. You and I, we both are
hurting.”
True, the truest part of this whole big lie Jeongguk created himself. What made
him think lie would bring good consequences to him? He didn’t know. Lie has
always been a good torture device to break the trust and drive people apart,
Jeongguk does know that one now.
“The night I decided to see you, the night I started my plan, never once I ever
expected to meet someone so young, gorgeous and amazingly beautiful like you,”
he tells, can still recall how Taehyung hypnotized him from the very second he
landed eyes upon the other, the very moment where he should have known his plan
was never bounded to work well. “I thought it would be easy to stay hating you,
I thought the plan would go accordingly as I wanted it but I was wrong. Dead
wrong. Because you’re different, Taehyung.”
As different as Wonderland. Jeongguk followed his hatred, the damn white
rabbit, and ended somewhere into a world he never expected to have a story of
its own—Taehyung’s story, his own struggles and pain and how the world has
beaten him far too often, yet he still doesn’t let any of it ruin him. It’s all
that Jeongguk falls in love with.
“You’re so different from whom I thought you were and I become envious of you,
so envious of the way you see the world, how you survive in it,” Jeongguk
smiles a bit, a stretch of fondness over Taehyung’s glistening eyes, staring
firm upon him now. “You have it rough, baby. Heck, maybe harder than me and
anyone else I’ve known so far in my life. Your parents left you, never come
back to this day, you have to leave your siblings to work for them and you
struggle alone here. The world is clearly unfair to you but you never blame it.
You never say you hate your parents to me, you work hard for everyone and
you’re just so kind hearted that you never put the blame on a name. You
just…survive. Endure and survive. I hate seeing how strong you’re, Tae.”
He hates that he can’t blame him, he hates that he has no reason to. Because
Taehyung is from the dark side of the world where all faulty comes. That’s not
the case, however. That’s never the case. Taehyung doesn’t sleep with his
father and this whole matter is a mere misunderstanding. Jeongguk is so stupid,
he wants to cry out loud.
“I hate how I can’t accept things the way you did. My mom’s dying and I caught
my dad cheated on her. So what? Big fucking deal. Instead of going through this
stupid plan I should have just yelled to my dad, tell him to fuck off and then
move on with my life. I should appreciate my mom more, I should love her more
than anyone can so that even after everything my dad did to her, she still has
me by her side. I shouldn’t have spent my time plotting revenge on you,” shit,
he’s definitely crying now. “That’s what I should have done, right?”
Taehyung doesn’t agree or otherwise. He just stares and stares, lips starting
to quiver and shoulders beginning to sag because he’s about to cry as well.
Jeongguk can see it. He can’t. He can’t, not for Jeongguk. Never for Jeongguk.
He doesn’t deserve it.
“All I wanted was for my mom to never get hurt. I just wanted her husband to
appreciate her a little bit more so that when she—” his breath catches, unable
to swallow the sharp glass down his own throat where he knows it will bleed all
the way to his heart. A tear finally drops down. “When she’s gone, there’s no
regret for me and my dad,” he finishes with a sniff, looking down at his shoes
instead of Taehyung because Jeongguk isn’t the one supposed to cry.
He’s hurt people. It was his intention. So why is he selling sympathy through
tears now? Jeongguk cries some more, disgusted at his own self.
“I was so angry at everything. I was angry at my dad, at all the women he
hooked up with, at how my mom has to be sick out of all people in the world,
and then at you. I was immature, stupid and extremely angry and I just needed
someone to put the blame on,” he chokes upon his own tears. There’s no use
hiding it now with how his voice breaks with every syllable and how hard it is
to breathe just so he could still speak understandable words.
“Like I said, unlike you, I can’t accept things the way they’re,” it seems like
Taehyung’s getting up from the bed. But Jeongguk doesn’t listen anymore, too
caught up in his whimpers and sobs and self-hatred. “I needed someone to blame
and you were just happened to be that person.”
Taehyung is definitely in front of him now, right there, where he can reach out
and touch him, embrace him, love him, but he can’t. Jeongguk’s too ashamed of
himself. Ashamed of his mistake. Ashamed that he’s hurt someone he shouldn’t at
all.
“I’m sorry,” he wails, desperate to show his honesty, finally looking up at
Taehyung and almost dying on spot at seeing Taehyung’s wet cheeks match his
own. “Taehyung, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. If only I had known things would be
different. If only I had known he wasn’t paying you for sex, I won’t—I won’t…”
he shakes his head rapidly. “I won’t act so rashly.”
Taehyung doesn’t move to hug him, but he does wrap delicate fingers around his
wrist to pull him towards the bed, walking backward with his eyes on none other
than Jeongguk. He only stops once he can feel the back of his shins touch the
bed and sit down while pulling Jeongguk with him.
They’re close now, knee to knee. Not. Close. Enough.
But Jeongguk doesn’t push it, shaking a little in his tears as he watches
Taehyung pull his hand back to him, wipes dry his cheeks and then meets
Jeongguk’s eyes again.
“He does appreciate your mother, Jeongguk,” he finally says something, quiet
deep voice that Jeongguk dreams of too often.
“Your dad, Dr. Jeon isn’t it?” Jeongguk doesn’t need to nod, Taehyung already
looks like he’s got everything figured out. “I’m sure he’s not the most
straight forward person. That’s why you couldn’t find out whatever he did until
today. He’s secretive. But I hang around him long enough to know that he
regrets what he did to you and your mother.”
That’s the problem with Jeongguk. He lied to cover up his feelings and his plan
that it becomes hard to believe other people. Especially those he should
believe in.
“He really is?”
“Yes. He regrets ignoring you all those years when you were younger and he
wanted to fix his mistake for hooking up several times with other women behind
Mrs. Jeon. He admitted he’s a shitty dad and an even shittier husband. Just
like you, he broke as well. Once he knew your mother won’t survive so long to
live, he totally lost himself. He lost bearing on everything, he ignored you
and he couldn’t even bring himself to face his wife. Because he knew he was a
doctor who can’t save his own wife,” Jeongguk slowly connects the dots now. The
day when he expected Dr. Jeon to miss his mother’s birthday yet he still came
back, the day when Jeongguk saw their family photo taped to the side of Dr.
Jeon’s table—my blood, sweat and tears: Hannie & Jeonggukie. Maybe he cares
after all.
“Mrs. Jeon has one of the rarest blood types that’s so difficult to find her
matching donor right?” Jeongguk couldn’t answer, isn’t strong enough to remind
the fact that could easily take away his mother’s life.
Thankfully he doesn’t need to. Taehyung understands, nodding. “I know, he told
me everything. Every night that I came to see him to do our business.”
“Business?” He nods again.
“So to fix it, to at least apologize to his wife, he has me helping him.”
That’s the confusing part, needing help from someone to apologize.
“How?”
“You know that one room up the rooftop of your father’s penthouse?” Jeongguk
responds with a little nod.
“The door’s always locked and I couldn’t find the key anywhere,” he pauses,
remembering how he’s attempted plenty of times to get inside only to fail. “I
always got the feeling something’s in there.”
“That’s because the key is with me,” Taehyung answers casually. It shouldn’t be
surprising, considering Jeongguk had caught sight of the mysterious boy one
time too often around the penthouse, yet it still does. He just never expected
his father to keep Taehyung there instead of in his own room. “There are only
two copies. One with your father, another one is with me. He gave it to me when
I agreed to teach him draw the portrait of Mrs. Jeon.”
Jeongguk widens his eyes, once again taken aback by the news so far off his
assumptions after all this time.
“Wha—what? After all this time, he’s keeping a secret from me just because he
has you helping him to draw?” He couldn’t believe it would be as simple as
that.
“It’s not just an ordinary portrait, Jeongguk,” but Taehyung reasons, frowning
a bit. “It’s on a huge canvas, oil on portrait that might take longer than 3
months to get it done. And we’re super slow because your father can’t draw for
shit and I have to teach him from A. That’s what he’s been paying me for.”
Oddly logical, but something is still off.
“Still, he does it all by himself so far. We’re progressing, bit by bit,”
Taehyung sighs, leaning back to the headboard. “I can see he’s sincere in
apologizing to Mrs. Jeon. And he’s protecting you too. He refused for you to
know Mrs. Jeon’s got less than 6 months to live so he kept everything secret.
He needs more time until everything’s ready and he will apologize to you and
your mother.”
“But why didn’t you know me? If you’ve been drawing my mom, you should have
recognized her from the first time you met her,” Jeongguk argues.
Taehyung stares over at him, shaking his head a little. “That thing baffled me
too. Dr. Jeon never lets me see the full picture of your mother’s face. Every
time we draw, we make it section by section. He only let me draw one part after
another of Mrs. Jeon’s face. That’s why I said her eyes looked familiar,
remember? When we painted the mural together at the retirement home?”
Yes, he remembers it. And it still odds, this whole occurrence. How Taehyung’s
grandma knows his own mother, how his father chooses Taehyung to help him to
draw Mrs. Jeon’s portrait, how he chooses a random teenage hooker to do that
instead of a professional, way capable artist, how Taehyung’s blood record is
in the hospital and how it has to be Kim Taehyung, of all people. They’re all
strangely connected and coincidence is the last part Jeongguk wants to believe
on.
But Taehyung goes on, unsuspecting.
“And as for you, I never recognized you because I paid no attention to my
surrounding. The penthouse, I was only there on the rooftop to finish my
business. I couldn’t care less about who else staying there, how many children
your father have or anything else. I abide to my rules, Jeongguk,” he
concludes. “It’s only a business and that’s that.”
Jeongguk can only nod, dumbfounded even more after he knows what Taehyung has
been doing with Dr. Jeon. He knows, yet not fully grasping it.
“I feel so stupid…” Jeongguk mumbles, shoulders slump because he can’t help to
feel there’s still hole somewhere to this matter. “Just for a painting,
really?”
Taehyung chuckles, face a bit flushed from the drying tears.
“If you had asked me first from the very start, maybe we can save all the
drama,” his eyes soft when they’re locked with Jeongguk’s again. “I told you,
ask me anything. I have nothing to hide except my identity…which apparently has
been exposed to everyone.”
Jeongguk’s quick to shake his head. “Not everyone, just the school
administration.”
Taehyung raises his eyebrow at him as if Jeongguk’s saying something stupid
again.
“School admin equals to the whole body, Jeongguk. You don’t have to say that
just to make me feel better.”
“Hey, we’ll go through this together. Okay?” Jeongguk is careful, scooting
closer to Taehyung until Jeongguk’s knee is slot in between Taehyung’s thighs.
When Taehyung doesn’t budge away, he dares himself to drop his hand to the top
of the elder’s hand, attempting to comfort. “You’ll survive, like you always
do. You’ll be okay, we’ll figure something out. You won’t have to quit the
school.”
Taehyung still doesn’t respond to the soft caresses he gives upon his hand,
just remains studying every inch of Jeongguk’s face. But his gaze is impossibly
soft, so soft Jeongguk feels his cheeks warming under it.
“Why are you doing all this Jeongguk? Why do you still wanna stay?”
Jeongguk gulps, gaining courage only once Taehyung turns his hand around and
holds his fingers in his palm. The touch is warm, yet also fragile. It scares
Jeongguk how easily he can lose this.
“Because I care about you, Taehyung,” he admits, a gentle and quiet declaration
of truth. “I want to be in your life, I want to be with you. I’m sorry, I know
I was selfish before—and I’m still being selfish now but I can’t leave you.”
It grows harder to breathe with how tight his whole chest is cramping up yet he
has to say it all.
“Not now, not ever,” he almost chokes on his own spit. “Please, forgive me. For
everything.”
There’s silence for a while, Taehyung’s eyes back to crystalize with tears.
“But I thought you hated me.”
Past Jeongguk was a fool. He’s not going to be that fool again.
He clamps tight on Taehyung’s hand into both of his, balling their entwined
fingers like a fist before bringing it up to his mouth to kiss the words across
Taehyung’s knuckles, allowing sincerity to flow out of him so Taehyung can see
how true he is to his words.
“I remember the time I first hated you, but I can’t remember the time I started
loving you.”
“Why?” Taehyung’s voice breaks a little. Jeongguk looks him in the eyes.
“Because I love you every time.”
There, simple. The answer to why he can never hate Taehyung. The answer to why
he’s always a loser when it comes to battle against the elder. Taehyung lets
out a sob and Jeongguk untangles one hand to quickly catch the ball of crystal,
not liking it at all feeling how his heart sheds blood each time Taehyung is
crying.
“I made stupid shit in the past, yes. I hurt you, and lied to you about who I
really was but things changed. I changed,” and he promises to Taehyung and
himself, it would be for good from now on.
“I love your face the first time I saw you. I love your personality the more I
got to know you. I love your heart the more you let me in into your thoughts
and feelings, and I just…love you,” he kisses Taehyung’s hand once, twice, or
each time he tells him he does love him. “I love everything about you Kim
Taehyung, it’s too late to stop it now.”
Then he leans forward, closer to closest, his forehead touching Taehyung’s.
“Forgive me? Give us one more chance to be together?”
God, please say yes. He doesn’t deserve it but he still wants to. So badly, so
desperately, so dyingly. If Taehyung said yes, Jeongguk will take the chance to
change every bitter past with everything sweet until Taehyung would forget what
it felt like to be hurt.
He waits a moment, growing sadder and sadder the more Taehyung lets out these
soft, breathless sobs. Jeongguk needs to close his eyes, keeping his own
emotion in check until suddenly he feels warm lips to his cheek, wet and
relieving.
“I love you too,” Taehyung manages to slip out, pulling his hand free from
Jeongguk’s so he can use both arms to circle around his neck and wrap him into
an embrace Jeongguk didn’t realize he needed it like air, until now. His own
sob bubbling up his throat because god, thank you so much.
“I wanted to hate you, but I can’t. I just can’t, I love you so much. Don’t
leave me, Jeongguk,” and when he says that, there’s no stopping to how tight
and close Jeongguk’s winding his hands around his waist. It might hurt Taehyung
but he doesn’t care. He can’t lose him, “Never,” as he whispers into Taehyung’s
neck, hiding his face there.
They hold each other a little bit longer, crying and regretting and finally
feeling relieved until Taehyung pulls back an inch to cup his wet cheek.
“I forgive you.”
“Really? You do?” Jeongguk sniffs, frantically wiping away the tears together
with Taehyung’s help so he can see the elder without a layer of blur in front
of him, so beautiful and so lovely.
Taehyung nods, smiling that gorgeous smile of his even with red nose and wet
lashes. Jeongguk can’t stress it enough of how enchanting he is.
“We love each other, aren’t we? So why should we suffer again and be apart? The
world brought us together must be for a good reason, so we should believe in
that,” he reasons, simply.
“Yeah…yeah, we should,” Jeongguk agrees, bringing their foreheads back pasting
on each other.
Taehyung cups his face with both hands, simultaneously closing his eyes with
Jeongguk to absorb the moment, to really accept how it’s happening and how it
always downs to only one answer:
“I really love you, baby.”
Jeongguk opens his eyes, watching how Taehyung reopens his bit by bit until he
gives a gentle nod, brushing the tip of their noses together.
“Me too, honey,” he leans forward, swallowing the last few syllables into a
kiss.
It’s all he ever needs. He needs Taehyung, and even the most difficult obstacle
in the world can’t change that.
Chapter End Notes
     Thank God they're still together...for now. All in all, here's my
     twitter
     Come, mention me or chat with me or we can even be mutuals! ^^ Or, we
     can wail in our sadness at how big hit is constantly pumping the
     money out of our pockets. Damn, I haven't even bought BTS Memories
     2016 and now, Puma shoes? Really? What is chill? Sheesh. But hey,
     don't be shy to leave me any comment in case you have anything to
     say, opinion or even if you wanna ask me if I'm dead yet for updating
     so late. Have a nice day, beautiful people!
***** More than a Choice *****
Chapter Notes
     *shrugs*
     this whole chap is an epic failure but please accept mellow namjin
     and cute jihope as my apologies.
“Hyung, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Yoongi looks up from where he’s rearranging the
tattoo catalogs on a shelf to one of his artists, giving the latter a nod
before he leaves him alone for the night.
With the last of his worker leaving the parlor and no more customer for the
day, Yoongi decides to call it off, making sure the catalogs are in decent
stacks before moving to lock the garage when suddenly a scream comes from the
back door.
“Hold the fuck up! What are you doing there? Are you a human or ghost?!” He
frowns to the obvious panicked blabber belongs to his artist before, clicking
his tongue all the way he trudges there to check what’s happening. As far as he
concerns, he’s living alone here so Yoongi isn’t sure of what to assume when
the other man is talking—screaming—to someone.
“Who the fuck you are talking to?” Yoongi asks as soon as his worker comes in
view, eyes bulging and pointed finger shaking as he stares in horror upon
someone. Someone who’s crouching down and small by a dark corner behind the
garage, someone who’s hiding its head in between its tucked knees and someone
who’s clearly needing help but still trying as much as it can to shrink itself
from the world—like that person doesn’t want anyone to see its there, like its
afraid.
Yoongi’s face instantly softens, muttering a gentle “Taerie…,” to which the
figure flinch and slowly reveal her face to him.
The area is dark, but the strings of tears raining down her cheeks are
shimmering clearly under the moonlight. Yoongi furrows, heart being tugged
harder because it’s like watching a deja vu. The helpless sight of Taerie right
now, reminds him the helpless sight of Taehyung a year ago, when the boy was
lost, scared and in desperate need of someone to reach out to him. Taerie
continues to quietly crying, tears leaking without a sound and Yoongi sighs,
turning back to his worker.
“Go on, you can leave,” it snaps the man from blinking back and forth from
Taerie to Yoongi.
“You sure?” He grimaces, curious eyes once again flicking down to the girl
behind Yoongi. When his boss replies with a guarded nod, the latter shrugs,
taking it as a sign to not intrude any further, “then, give me a call if you
need help.”
Yoongi waits until he truly disappears before turning back to Taerie, no longer
crouching but resting her back to the wall of the garage, hands limp by her
sides and legs outstretch before her. She’s the epitome of tiredness and defeat
but at least she’s not here crying out in her usual panic attack. To Yoongi,
it’s an improvement. He has no idea how long she’s been here, probably waiting
until Yoongi would close his parlor but he wastes no more time to walk over to
her and reach down for her shoulders, wanting to help her up and into his
garage.
“C’mon—”
“Is oppa here?” He stops midway at her question, Taerie glancing up the longer
he keeps quiet.
“No, he hasn’t been around for a while now,” Yoongi knows she’s referring to
Taehyung. Her face slightly crumbles so Yoongi is quick to add “but he’s fine.
I texted him occasionally.”
Because it’s true. Though Taehyung rarely comes to visit him at the parlor, the
younger does text him every now and then to exchange short news of how he’s
been doing and ask vice versa things. Yoongi in return, doesn’t expect for
frequent meet-ups after all. He understands how life can keep everyone busy. As
long as he knows the younger is doing fine, that’s enough for him.
Taerie asks no more so Yoongi takes it as a cue to continue bringing her
inside. He guides her until she’s seated around a small coffee table he has as
a place for his customers to rest while waiting for their session. She’s
stopped crying but doesn’t look any less worrying. In fact, her deep silent
keeps Yoongi from taking his eyes off her even while he’s preparing a warm
drink for her, grabbing a blanket on the way he’s bringing the mug to her.
He doesn’t place the glass down on the table, opting to give it straight into
the cup of Taerie’s hands and it helps, the shakiness of her palms reduces from
holding the mug. Only after he’s wrapped the blanket around her and taken a
seat across from her that he speaks again.
“Where’s Puppy?”
Taerie doesn’t answer until a moment later, eyes gluing still upon the cup.
“Sleeping, orphanage.” He can easily miss the quiet answer if it’s not for the
fact that Yoongi already has his full attention on her. He deems it still isn’t
a suitable time to question why she’s here crying or if she’s having a problem
that would require his help. Yoongi is worried, because Taerie has always been
like a little sister he never has ever since he met Taehyung but again, he
never wants to push her into something she isn’t ready to talk about. So Yoongi
waits, watching as she sips the drink little by little.
Until, she sets it down to the table.
“Oppa, I’m going to ask you something. But I’m gonna need you to answer me
honestly.”
There comes the bomb, because it’s the first time Taerie looks serious and
determined, instead of the vulnerable, indecisive teenage girl she usually was.
It causes Yoongi to straighten in his seat.
“How can I—”
“Promise first!” She snaps looking up at him, eyes bloodshot.
Yoongi controls his face from breaking into deeper worries. “Yeah, whatever.
Let’s hear it.”
He isn’t sure if he’s making the right decision by promising to be honest to
Taerie. Yet if she trusted him enough to have a conversation that’s obviously
eating her inside out, then Yoongi isn’t going to take that for granted. He
prepares himself for anything because Taerie looks like she’s beating herself
at this moment just to voice the matter to him.
“What…what did Taehyung oppa actually do to buy Puppy and me things?” Her voice
slow, eyes casted down on her lap. “From where did he get the money?”
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Out of anything, this is the matter which Yoongi knows he needs to be honest
with the most. Being honest to Taerie, however, also means breaking his
ultimate promise to Taehyung. And they’re both important to Yoongi. How?
Yoongi feels his heartbeat pick up, breathing harsher as he fidgets around,
scratches on the ink drawn on every single of his knuckle and avoids Taerie’s
eyes once she’s back looking over at him. Wrong move, dude, wrong fucking move.
Yoongi’s quick to clear his throat. “He’s working, thought you knew it.”
“But what kind of work is it? I’m asking you, what actually he’s doing for
work?” Taerie asks louder, putting some force into her tone as a subtle warning
that she won’t take excuses or lies as answer.
Yoongi studies her face for a long moment. The desperation in her glassy eyes,
the quiver of her jaw and the stiff guard on her body signaling to him of the
possibility that Taerie already knows her brother’s real job. It’s like she
just couldn’t accept the truth. It’s like she’s begging Yoongi to tell her
she’s wrong. It’s like she’s about to be heartbroken once more at how fate
loves to constantly fucking her up.
Yoongi refuses to be the one rubbing more salt to her wounds. Yoongi never
wants to lie to her but the truth is what will hurt her the most, and he knows
she won’t be able to handle it rationally and he also fucking knows how
Taehyung will hate him for telling the truth, for not keeping their promise.
Never to tell Taerie or Puppy of what he’s doing out here, not just because
what he’s doing is dirty, but he’s also protecting them. Taehyung is living in
the underground world where he can be hurt any minute now, and for that, his
siblings have to stay oblivious of it. It’s for their safety so Yoongi agreed
and promised to keep his job secret.
But what’s happening now?
How had Taerie found out about it?
Yoongi opens his mouth, about to answer with the first excuse he can think of
but Taerie yells.
“Don’t lie to me! Don’t you dare lie to me, oppa,” she abruptly gets to her
feet, fists balling tight by her sides as she glares down at him. Yoongi
responds with a hard stare because there’s no point covering it up again, not
when she can easily read him just how he can detect each of her emotion crystal
clear. He just hopes she won’t say it out loud. “I know he’s a night club
hooker!”
She said it.
It’s Yoongi’s turn to stand up now.
“That’s not the only work he does,” Yoongi keeps his voice cool but firm,
frowning desperately at her for Taerie to understand that this matter isn’t as
bad as she thought it was. Taerie laughs, shaking her head in disbelief as her
tears leaking down again.
“Only? Huh, what else the bad things he does?” She questions it with so much
defeat in her voice, throwing her limp body down back to the chair and covering
her face with her palms, crying and sobbing into it.
Yoongi is torn between to wrap his arms around her in attempt to comfort or to
just spill every last truth of the matter so that she understands, understands
what her brother’s been doing is for her and Puppy and how she’s not the only
one hurting for this. He sighs at last, lowering himself back down in front of
her.
“You can’t say something like that, Taerie. All Taehyung did, he’s doing it for
you and Puppy. And yes, he’s working in a night club but hooker isn’t his only
job,” he explains, voice rough with his usual deep timbre but gentle
nevertheless. “He’s also a bartender, dancer and sometimes singer. He’s trying
his best for you.”
Taerie pulls her hands down, revealing a face full of tears and snots at him.
“And yet he never told me anything ‘bout it?”
“How can he? Knowing you’ll be hurt like this?”
It only serves to make her cry harder, face crumbling and sob growing louder
while she shakes her head forcefully.
“Why can’t you help him? Why can’t you let him work with you here?”
“I—”
“Taehyung oppa is good at drawing. He can help you design the tattoos and he
can even be the artist! So why didn’t you take him in from the start? Why did
you let him do that?!”
For God’s sake, he tried. Yoongi had tried every single other option to help
Taehyung with his financial before. That’s what he’s been doing since the night
he found Taehyung like a kicked puppy behind his garage a year ago. Yet Yoongi
himself isn’t the richest people, God knows he would want to save these
siblings with his own capability if he’s allowed to. But he has his own
restraint so the most he remembers suggesting to Taehyung was for him to work
in one of the biggest clubs in Seoul. Yoongi had Jimin as his connection that
time, that was where he knew Taehyung would be paid the most in the fastest and
easiest way. So the younger started the job as a bartender before he got to
know Jimin as his first best friend in Seoul, registered into the same art
school as him and signed himself up as the occasional hooker after he deemed
the payment wasn’t enough for his siblings only, he needed extra for his own
education.
When Yoongi first found out about it, he had been worried, fussing over
Taehyung that what he was doing was illegal and could potentially danger
himself. Still, in the end, it was all Taehyung’s choice. He could only give
him emotional support whenever Taehyung came to him to say how he was missing
pieces of himself bit by bit the longer he worked as a hooker.
There was no stopping to everything that had happened in Taehyung’s life so
far. Because the choice was made by none other than himself.
“Taerie, I’m so sorry,” he can only apologize. “I tried. I offered him before
but you know how small this parlor is. I can only pay him a few and it won’t be
enough to pay for three schools. Plus, Tae’s in art school. You know how the
fee differs from regular school. You know how it won’t be enough, Taerie.”
Her eyes slowly dart over to him, reading his face and taking in his
explanation long enough until she wipes her tears with the paws of her sweater,
gradually calming down. It’s sad, everyone knows it’s never a clever choice to
live like Taehyung does. The least she can do for now is to accept her brother
the way he is.
It’s understandable that Taerie becomes as frustrated as she is because while
her brother’s job is wrong, she also knows there’s nothing much she can do to
make it right. She’s still too young and helpless herself. A sad reality
beneath another sad reality.
Minutes past as they both sit in intense silence until Yoongi decides to ask
his own curiosity.
“How…how did you find out?”
She came to him out of blue, it must have been someone told her about it or she
saw Taehyung while he was at work. Yet to deem the second situation has
happened, Taerie doesn’t even know where Taehyung is working. So who could
possibly have told her?
“That’s none of your business,” she says shortly, surprising Yoongi in the way
she avoided the topic so fast before Yoongi blinks once and next, she’s already
halfway out of the garage.
“Yah, Taerie!” Yoongi rushes after her, grabbing the girl’s wrist to make her
face him again. “Where do you think you’re going?”
She doesn’t look at him, body stiff under Yoongi’s hand. “Where else can I go?
I only have that shitty orphanage to go back to.”
This makes him sigh in both relief and pity. Relief because that means she’s
not thinking to do anything stupid. Pity because how can a mere sixteen-year-
old suffer this much?
“Stay, for tonight,” he decides at last, pulling Taerie back into the garage.
“I can’t let you go like this.”
Because even if he can’t change the cruel fate both the Kim siblings are
struggling with, Yoongi can at least protect them in a way he’s capable of. And
that goes by giving them shelter and warmth embrace as much as he can.
Yoongi can do that.
===============================================================================
 
There’s no air-conditioner cooling the room, no fluffy blanket, no soft pillow
and definitely no huge bed like in his usual bedroom but it is still the best
thing to wake up to when Jeongguk knows there is Taehyung next to him.
“Morning, sleepyhead,” the whisper is pressed somewhere along his forehead,
simply smiling to acknowledge it without opening his eyes as his face is
showered with kisses—at least two on his forehead, one along his nose bridge,
another one on his cupid bow, moving to both of his cheeks before the lips he’s
waiting for finally drop to his mouth. Jeongguk’s smile only curves higher.
“Morning, you,” he opens his eyes this time, playful glint in his gaze to
Taehyung as he mumbles into his mouth and catches his bottom lip between his
teeth, causing the elder to pinch his rear before they giggle together.
Too kiddy for early morning.
Too in love to care.
It’s time for Jeongguk to return the kisses back to Taehyung, wrapping both
arms around his middle before twisting their bodies to lay on the side, wanting
to be close as much as he can. The movement proves to have a slight difficulty
since the single bed can barely accommodate two tall boys, let alone for them
to roll around comfortably. Taehyung literally has to press his entire torso up
to Jeongguk and slot his legs in between Jeongguk’s. Their arms are just a
messy tangle around each other’s waist.
“Sorry, it’s small,” Taehyung realizes this, quietly apologizing as he fidgets
around to somehow spare a few inches empty room for Jeongguk. His boyfriend
frowns, doesn’t allow it and simply pulls Taeyung flushed against him.
“What?”
“This, my bed. My room,” he gestures with his chin to their surroundings.
Jeongguk only snorts, leaving a happy kiss to the top of Taehyung’s hair.
“Good then,” he answers as he closes his eyes, squeezing Taehyung to him. “Huh?
Are you still sleeping?”
“I’m awake,” Jeongguk whispers, eyes still close. “But it’s good that your bed
is small.”
His eyes open just in time to see Taehyung scrunches his nose in confusion,
wanting to argue about how his rich boyfriend didn’t prone to sleep in such a
tiny bed but is cut off once Jeongguk takes over to explain.
“It’s good because I can do this,” Jeongguk leans forward in ease for a long
kiss to Taehyung’s forehead. “And this,” then he moves lower to peck both of
his boyfriend’s eyelids.
“And this, this, this,” he continuously scattering quick smooches to the tip of
Taehyung’s nose, the apples of his cheeks and his chin, stopping in time to
capture Taehyung’s sweet giggle into his own mouth as he ends it with a gentle
kiss on his lips.
Kidding. Who says the gentle kiss will last? Of course it won’t because once
Taehyung decides to flick his tongue out for a swipe over his bottom lip,
Jeongguk is a goner, changing the kisses into repeated fierce mouth pressing,
tongue sucking and teeth nibbling. Too rough and addicting at the same time.
“Tae…” they pull apart with the mumble of his boyfriend’s name, Jeongguk
watches through hooded eyes how Taehyung is licking his lips while staring
straight at him, as if to taut Jeongguk into leaning back in for more kisses.
“Hmm?” He prompts, thumb wiping over the corner of Jeongguk’s lips.
“I’m sorry if I kissed you too much,” Jeongguk mumbles, kissing his fingertip
to prove a point to it. Then he peeks up to Taehyung through his eyelashes, “I
can’t help it.”
Taehyung smiles, shaking his head a bit.
“You definitely still sleeping,” he concludes to the daydream swimming in
Jeongguk’s eyes, knowing what he just said was so out of context from their
current conversation. Yet he still lets him, loving it when this soft, sleepy
state of Jeongguk allows him to be a bit more honest of his feelings to
Taehyung, allows him to open up a piece of his heart to him. “But it’s alright.
I don’t want you to help it.”
Jeongguk smiles as well—a kind of smile that stretches his eyes into two
crescents and shows off his front teeth, looking so soft and young like a real
seventeen, like he really is in love with Taehyung.
“Good. Very good,” Jeongguk kisses him one more time, giggling into each
other’s mouth until Taehyung starts to push against his chest and Jeongguk
grumbles, knowing what that push mean.
“C’mon, school time,” Taehyung reminds him, breaking the soft serenity and
trying to sit up only for Jeongguk to tighten the arms he has around the
elder’s waist, halting him. He gives Taehyung a pointed look.
“You still have the will to go there huh?”
“Of course, they haven’t suspended or expelled me yet. I still have the right
to attend it,” Taehyung reasons simply yet it back again bringing Jeongguk to
remember the problem they still have in hands since their reconciliation last
night.
He clears his throat, gaze back to serious as he studies his boyfriend.
“Speaking of that, who told the school about you?”
He’s yet to find out but whoever leaked the matter regarding to Taehyung’s job
to their school is going to get a piece of Jeongguk’s mind later. That’s for
sure.
Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I thought you were eavesdropping all the time.”
“I was there halfway into the talk, and I was so worried about you I barely
heard details,” Taehyung’s eyes visibly soften at this, touched at knowing
Jeongguk only had his full attention on him. He contemplates for a while before
saying “it was Mr. Kang.”
Jeongguk starts to feel the fire burning in his heart.
“That piece of satan still didn’t let you go?”
Taehyung, however, doesn’t show any sign of irritation or anger. He just
chuckles and reaches forward to smooth the frowns starting to appear on
Jeongguk’s forehead with gentle strokes.
“He did, but not without this shit he caused.”
And there’s no stopping to how Jeongguk begins to kick his brain into working
on ways to get back to Mr. Kang. If he thought he could escape from this just
by exposing Taehyung, then Jeongguk is going to prove how wrong he was. There
must be something they can use against that piece of shit to stop him forever
from causing misery to Taehyung, Jeongguk just needs to dig deeper.
“Jeongguk, honey.” He only blinks once Taehyung calls him out and rests a palm
on his chest. His own frowns showing on his face while staring at Jeongguk’s
calculative look. The younger boyfriend smiles, trying not to put Taehyung in
any distress. “What?”
“Don’t do it,” Taehyung says knowingly.
“Do what? What do you mean?” Jeongguk plays dumb even when he knows Taehyung
can read his intention easily.
“I know what you’re thinking. But revenge won’t end anything. So please, just
let it go.”
Jeongguk furrows harder, couldn’t agree at Taehyung’s pointless kindness this
time. “He can’t get away that easily, Tae. Imagine what else he would do if he
finds another person to obsess over after you. It could be worse, the man’s
dangerous.”
Taehyung sighs, pasting their foreheads together. “I know, Guk, I know.”
“I don’t wanna be helpless when I can protect you.”
“Then don’t ever leave me,” Taehyung whispers softly to him, big brown eyes
staring right into his soul and stretching his heart to maximum, so full of
love and fondness. “Just promise you’ll always be by my side and I’ll be fine.”
Jeongguk couldn’t be blamed when he pecks him once, twice on his lips before
answering.
“You know I’ll do that without you asking but I can also stop him forever.”
“How? Guk, I don’t want you to risk your life for someone like him—”
The easiest way to convince Taehyung that they will be alright despite whatever
plan Jeongguk has is by cutting him with a deep kiss. Taehyung melts into it in
an instant, opening his mouth for Jeongguk long enough until the younger deems
his boyfriend would listen to him without arguing.
“Do you trust me?” He questions once he pulls away, smiling a bit at how
Taehyung struggles to breathe and answer him at the same time. Taehyung gives
his chest a light push.
“I gave you the second chance, didn’t I?” He curves that beautiful smile of his
and Jeongguk nods.
“Then just trust me. I have my own way and I promise, he will leave you for
good now.”
Taehyung stares at him for a moment, considering the idea.
“You’re the dangerous ones, Jeon Jeongguk.”
Jeongguk laughs, not expecting such statement but only hugs Taehyung closer to
him without denying it.
“No one hurts the people I love. You know to what extent I can go to protect
them.”
And of course Taehyung knows. Jeongguk was brave enough to approach him for
revenge on behalf of his mother, so he knows there will be something more
Jeongguk is capable of doing in order to get what he wants. It had ended being
useless and stupid but Jeongguk wouldn’t trade it for anything different. His
revenge has brought him to Taehyung after all.
“You love me?” Taehyung suddenly asks, cupping his cheek with his palm with
unbearably soft gaze in his eyes.
“I do,” Jeongguk turns his head to kiss his palm, his own gaze promising it as
he swears to god to always protect Taehyung no matter what.
“I love you so much, beautiful,” he tells him again, slowly inching forward to
press his lips against Taehyung’s only for the moment to be broken once a loud
phone ringing interrupts them. Jeongguk whines, about to ask Taehyung to bypass
the call but his boyfriend already sits up, leaning down to peck Jeongguk
quickly on the lips, whispering ‘I love you too’ before he reaches for his
phone.
“It’s Yoongi hyung,” Taehyung announces as he answers it. “Hello?”
Jeongguk simply watches despite not knowing specifically of who this Yoongi is.
As Taehyung converses with the man on the other line, he opts to still have his
arms circling around Taehyung’s waist to keep Taehyung near to him, enjoying
the little pats he receives to the head every now and then.
“Taerie?” Taehyung says at some point, furrowing a little before he nods.
“Okay, I’ll be there.”
“What’s wrong?” Jeongguk asks as soon as Taehyung puts the device away, sighing
heavily.
“It’s my sister. She crashed at Yoongi hyung’s place last night so I’m gonna go
pick her up today,” he tries to move out of bed but is stopped once he looks
down to the arms restraining him. Taehyung raises his eyebrow to Jeongguk. “You
wanna get up and go to school already?”
The younger snorts, sitting up as well. “Don’t be stupid, I’m skipping school
with you.”
“That’s bad.”
“Yeah, bad. But it’s good.”
Jeongguk smiles when Taehyung smiles despite his apparent worries for Taerie.
“It’s good.”
===============================================================================
 
The bus they’re taking stops at a street entirely new and unknown to Jeongguk.
His eyes scan around as Taehyung pulls him into walking by their entwined
hands, eyeing every narrow path and the little, quiet shops they have there.
Jeongguk has never been to this part of the town, never had the reason to since
being rich kid as he is also means to always linger around Gangnam and nowhere
else. It’s still a nice change, however, since the massage parlors, mini bars
and cheap restaurants remind him of the dark streets in Japan. It’s thrilling
and mysterious all at once seeing the colorful signboards with thick lettering
hung up above every shop.
“Who is this Yoongi?” Jeongguk decides to open a conversation as Taehyung leads
him deeper down the road, wedged in between two, worn out buildings by their
right and left.
Taehyung spares him a brief side-glance, a thin smile on his lips as if he’s
recalling a warm memory. “Min Yoongi, the man who saved me.”
Jeongguk’s interest is fully being pulled by such a meaningful statement. Being
a boyfriend to Taehyung, it’s nonsense if he didn’t know such an important
person in Taehyung’s life. He asks further, “Saved you?”
Taehyung chuckles, shaking his head as he probably notices how dramatic his
answer was. “I never told you I ran away from my orphanage back when I was 18,
didn’t I?”
Jeongguk only gives a slow shake of his head, opting to listen quietly as
Taehyung furthers on with his story.
“Well I didn’t actually had anywhere to go, knew no one in Seoul at that time.
But on the third night I was being homeless, I hid in Yoongi hyung’s garage to
run from the cops.”
“The cops?” This brings a huge frown to Jeongguk’s forehead, not knowing what
else brutality that had happened to Taehyung in his past and feeling isn’t sure
of what to do with the piece of story he’s about to learn regarding him. His
boyfriend is like an onion, he peels a layer just to find another layer
waiting.
But Taehyung only smiles broader, bumping his shoulder playfully to Jeongguk’s
as if his next statement never hurt him before. “I stole bread from convenient
store, you know.”
And Jeongguk exhales a shaky breath, aware of the fact that his boyfriend used
to be so poor and starved to the point he needed to do that. He hates it. He
hates not knowing Taehyung earlier and he hates how there’s nothing he can do
to change all that. The sudden urge to protect him thickening and Jeongguk
moves closer until he can wrap his whole arm to Taehyung’s shoulders, locking
it there and pulling his boyfriend to him so that he can kiss his temple, keeps
them pasting against each other like that despite it being a little difficult
to walk like that. Taehyung only laughs, circling his own arms around his waist
and pushing his face into the side of Jeongguk’s neck. Jeongguk hugs him
harder.
He wishes they could go through life like this. Jeongguk wishes he could
physically put himself between Taehyung and the hurtful world, could shield him
just like that and keep him out of all the bad things universe has to offer.
“Never have to be like that again,” he promises in a whisper, kissing the crown
of Taehyung’s hair once more before pulling apart, their hands back to
interlace together. Taehyung nods along with a smile but when he says no more
to comment, Jeongguk continues to ask.
“So he took you in? This Yoongi hyung?”
“Yeah, he let me stayed for about three days before he introduced me to Jimin
and the club. That was when I started working and attending the same school as
Jimin. I want so much to be a famous painter.”
Jeongguk hums. “Any particular reason why?”
“For my father,” Taehyung beams at him, Jeongguk wonders how pure a human can
be despite the scars in their heart. “He was an artist. He taught me how to
draw since I was a child. Every time he came back from Seoul, he brought back a
painting for me. That was why I felt close to him whenever I was painting.”
Jeongguk nods to show he’s still listening, vaguely recalling how he once saw
the unfinished portrait of Taehyung’s father in one of his boyfriend’s
sketchbooks.
“So when he’s gone, my grandma told me, ‘Be a famous artist’,” Taehyung mimics
how the old lady spoke to him, causing Jeongguk to grin. “Maybe that way, he’ll
recognize me and come back to me one day.”
Now he understands why Taehyung chooses such a pricey art school to have his
education from, now he pieces the puzzles together to why his boyfriend is so
obsessed with sketching things all the time. It has something to do with his
long lost father, it keeps a hope in him no matter how small it is for them to
maybe meet each other again one day.
It’s bittersweet. Everything about Kim Taehyung is always bittersweet.
“Well until then, you’re not gonna be alone,” Jeongguk responds, squeezing
their hands to prove his point. “I’ll be with you. Always.”
Taehyung grins to that, his boxy, full grin on spectacular show for him and
Jeongguk resists the urge to just lean in and kiss the grin so hard. His
boyfriend is too cute for his poor heart, Jeongguk doesn’t know how to survive
in this. Thankfully he doesn’t need to suffer so long since Taehyung finally
stops in front of an open garage and Jeongguk is snapped back to reality, head
turning to read the huge Min’s Body Art sign there.
“We’re here.”
Jeongguk can’t stop taking everything in, how the simple garage is creatively
converted into a parlor, how the whole floor-to-ceiling glass walls are
imprinted with classy drawing of black swirling patterns and flowers, each in
perfect details and how the swirlings are not just empty pattern but rather
came into shape with various sizes of fonts and quotes—like a huge set of
typography. It’s genius.
“Wow. Isn’t he badass?” Jeongguk comments, impressed, while Taehyung chuckles.
“He is, despite his size.”
“His size?”
Jeongguk looks sideway for explanation to that but Taehyung already pushes the
front doors apart, leading them inside and bowing to a few tattoo artists
Jeongguk assumes he knows. Only when a short man in golden blond hair comes
into their view that Taehyung squeals and lets go of Jeongguk’s hand so he can
run to the other man.
“Yoongi hyung!” Taehyung shouts his name in obvious glee, engulfing the owner
of this parlor into his arms who’s surprisingly small for someone entirely
covered by ink. Jeongguk can’t stop staring at the beautiful canvas that is his
body, truly entranced by a few of his tattoos he can see peeking out of his
black shirt. There are tiny birds—crow tits, if Jeongguk’s not mistaken—crafted
all the way from his chest and up to one side of his neck as they’re drawn
resting on impressive inking of a tree branch. Another side of his neck is
covered with a hand as if in the middle of choking him. A few black diamonds
along the bone of his ear way down to his lobe—not to mention the impressive
piercings he has—and the both of his entire arms, filled with mesmerizing
patterns and images.
When he tries to push Taehyung away but fails inevitably due to their height
difference, Jeongguk is pulled back to properly study his face for the first
time. He has these tiny eyes that aren’t supposed to look as daunting as
they’re if it’s not for the thick eyeliner he has on, his nose is putty just
nice to compliment his tiny face and his lips are pinky thin despite everything
dark in his aura.
He’s so hauntingly beautiful.
And when he scolds Taehyung, Jeongguk can see he’s not truly mad, just
chastising him in fondness like a parent did to their child.    
“Yah, where the fuck were you huh? Why didn’t you come for a visit?” Yoongi
goes straight for his ear once he’s slipped out of Taehyung vine-like hug on
him. Taehyung winces, exaggerating his pout. “Argh, I’m sorry! I told you I was
busy!”
The longer Yoongi is twisting his ear, the louder his boyfriend cries out until
Jeongguk takes it on him to separate them, pulling Taehyung free from the man
while his boyfriend takes the chance to cling on his back. He sticks his tongue
out to Yoongi which the man only responds with a roll of his eyes, attention
now diverging to Jeongguk.
“And who are you, kid?” Jeongguk can only flash an awkward grin, his brain
couldn’t process it fast enough to answer at how surprised he is of Yoongi’s
deep voice. Luckily Taehyung is there to save the day.
“This is Jeon Jeongguk, my boyfriend!” He announces with certain proudness that
blooms pinky flush on Jeongguk’s cheeks and a raised eyebrow on Yoongi’s face.
“Boyfriend?” Yoongi drags his eyes up and down the length of Jeongguk’s body.
“That explains your long absence.”
Taehyung gasps, pretending to be offended.
“Hyung, I did not—”
Only that his sentence is cut halfway once they all hear a sudden thump coming
from the back of the parlor and a curse resonating from a girl’s voice.
Taehyung’s back with worry appearing on his face and Jeongguk watches as Yoongi
sighs, jutting his chin to where the sound is from.
“Go on, I think you should see her.”
It must be Taerie because Taehyung nods without further ado and turns to give
Jeongguk a reassuring smile.
“Wait here, ‘kay?” Jeongguk only squeezes his hand as affirmation before his
boyfriend turns to Yoongi to give him a pointed finger. “And no scaring him,
hyung.”
He warns while he steps to the back room but Yoongi only shrugs, already
returning his gaze back to Jeongguk.
“I can’t promise that,” he says, but of course Taehyung could no longer see him
and Jeongguk squirms under his calculative stare. There’s something about this
man that makes him want to respect and fear him at the same time. Jeongguk
doesn’t need real action to be intimidated. He’s already scared.
“Min Yoongi,” he takes pity and cuts the intense air at last, surprising
Jeongguk when he’s the first one to extend his hand out.
“I know, Tae told me.” Jeongguk dares himself to smile a bit at him while he
shakes his hand back. He only receives a smirk instead of real smile but even
then, Yoongi remains looking mysteriously attractive. Jeongguk doesn’t know how
he’s doing it. So he directs his eyes away, refuses to be dubbed creepy for
staring too much as he studies each of the tattoo paintings framed on the wall
beside them.
“They’re amazing.”
Only this time does Yoongi smile a bit, a shocking sight of something soft and
cute. Jeongguk thinks he should smile more.
“Just a collection from few of my best works.”
“I think they’re stunning. I’d love a tattoo too, someday.”
“How did you know Taehyung?”
It halts his hand from tracing one of the closest frames to him, blinking a bit
at Yoongi. He surely didn’t expect that question, feeling like he’s being
interrogated by The Older brother.
“I met him in the club,” he decides to go for partial truth, avoiding the whole
story. Yoongi nods, trailing off with “so you knew…”
“I know,” Jeongguk nods as well because he understands what Yoongi’s trying to
say. “And I don’t think that would affect the person I love. I love Taehyung,
his job has nothing to do with it.”
Something visibly sags in Yoongi’s expression, it somehow makes Jeongguk
relieve too. It’s like an invisible approval.
“Then you better take good care of him.”
“I will,” Jeongguk answers without hesitation. When Yoongi quiets down to no
more questions, Jeongguk turns back to the frames only for his eyes to catch
one very out of place drawing. Odd but cute. It’s a childish, messy sketch from
crayon of three people—one tall male, holding hands with a toddler in the
middle and there’s a female holding his other hand by his other side. It’s like
a family, and Jeongguk can’t help chuckling at it.
“Didn’t know this included in your best work,” he points at it and Yoongi
smiles along.
“That’s not mine,” Jeongguk immediately remembers something upon his answer.
“It’s—”
“Puppy,” Yoongi directs him a look as if he didn’t expect Jeongguk to know the
rest of Taehyung’s siblings. “Puppy drew it for you, right?”
Yoongi takes his time to reply, choosing to regard Jeongguk for a long moment
but when he starts to smile, it’s warm. “They’re important to me.”
Whoever this Min Yoongi is, Jeongguk is glad he’s the one who found Taehyung
that night. He can already tell there’s fondness and warmth beneath the cold
exterior Yoongi has and Jeongguk wishes he got to know this man better now that
they have met each other.
“I’m glad Taehyung has you,” he smiles wider at Yoongi.
“And I’m glad he has you too,” Yoongi replies back until they end up smiling at
each other.
“But you didn’t tell me about your fucking job!”
The calmness doesn’t last long as in the next moment, that scream echoes from
the back room before Taerie is storming out from there, anger is a vibrant red
on her face before there’s Taehyung rushing after her. Jeongguk takes it to tag
along but is stopped by Yoongi, a grip on his elbow.
“Let them,” he says when Jeongguk furrows at him. Jeongguk only able to sigh
and look from afar at how Taehyung manages to jump in front of Taerie,
preventing the furious girl from escaping further away.
“Taerie, wait up,” but she hisses and tries to step away, only to be blocked
once more.
“Listen to me, I’m sorry I kept it secret from you,” Taehyung patiently
explains as he keeps a firm hold on both of her shoulders. “But my job isn’t
the safest job so I can’t risk exposing you or Puppy to such business. You have
to understand me, Taerie.”
Jeongguk worries his teeth to his bottom lip, wondering from where she found
out about it.
“Quit it,” Taerie requests suddenly, gaze hard on Taehyung. “Please, oppa. Just
quit it. We can find a better, safer job. I’ll even start working if you need
my help but please, just stop living that way.”
Taehyung’s face softens. “Taerie, I can’t let you—”
“It’s not fair, oppa. How do you expect me to let you do that job and do
nothing? How can I do that you?”
“Taerie-ah…” It hurts Jeongguk a lot hearing Taehyung calls her in such a
helpless tone, as if he can’t choose between his job and her, as if it’s
hurting Taehyung too. When it takes too long for him to agree with her, she
stares back up at him and swallows.
“If I have a lot of money, you can finally quit right?” She asks him softly but
it triggers all three of Taehyung, Yoongi and Jeongguk to start worrying about
her confusing question.
“What…what do you mean by that?” Taehyung asks back but she only shakes her
head and steps aside, leaving the parlor so fast Taehyung can barely keep up
from his apparent shock.
“Yah!” Jeongguk and Yoongi follow after them, stopping when Taehyung gets a
grip on his sister again. “Taerie, don’t scare me. Tell me exactly what do you
mean by that and from where did you know I worked in the club?”
Everyone’s waiting with bated breath for her to tell the truth but she only
gives Taehyung a sharp look, hands reaching up before she pushes him off her.
“If you can keep your job as a secret for so long from me, then I can do the
same this time.”
“Taerie, but—”
Then she’s gone again, stomping away so fast down the path that Taehyung has no
more energy to go after her, too taken aback by what she just threw to his
face. Yoongi approaches him from behind before he pats him on the shoulder,
worry matching Taehyung’s face.
“She’s up for something. You need to find out before she does something
stupid.”
Jeongguk himself doesn’t know what to do with her. When Taehyung searches for
him with nervous eyes, he doesn’t hesitate to step up and wrap him in a hug,
silently promising that whatever helps Taehyung needs for Taerie, he will be
there to offer his all.
===============================================================================
 
“The surgery will take place in two weeks time, right after the launching gala
of the newest branch, isn’t it?” Seokjin looks up from where he’s reading the
minute meeting from his Ipad to Dr. Oh who stands beside the screen, being the
main presenter for the current meeting.
When Dr. Jeon sends him a look, waiting for Seokjin to answer from where he’s
sitting as the chairman, the PA quickly clears his throat and nods at Dr. Oh.
“Yes, that is not to disturb the launching and media coverage for it.”
“Okay, then we should prepare your wife and the donor with…”
As they moves to open the discussion to Mrs. Jeon’s major bone marrow
transplant that is to happen as said earlier, Seokjin feels his mind start to
drift away. They finally have found the most suitable donor for the transplant
without having to wait for donor from the national bone marrow registries. It’s
admittedly a quick way to save Mrs. Jeon, considering how much time she’s left
for her life. That’s why in the meeting now, they’re discussing the entire
procedures of the surgery with the surgeons involved and to Dr. Jeon himself.
They consider it a special case after all, coming from the hospital director
himself.
Despite that, Seokjin also can’t help feeling restless, feeling something is
extremely wrong about this whole plan. He’s obviously distracted with a heavy
burden on his shoulders, hammering in his head and he can barely record all the
details of the meeting into the minute for his own report.
“I will be the head surgeon while Dr. Kang Seulgi here,” Seokjin glances up
just in time the mentioned lady doctor stands up to bow to the group. She takes
her seat back after that, but not before sneaking a shy smile to Seokjin’s way.
He blinks and lowers his head down to his Ipad again, “will be my assistant for
the operation.”
“Mind if I ask this, Dr. Jeon,” Dr. Kang’s sweet voice resonates this time in
the meeting room, making Seokjin feel unease of wanting to look up or not for
fear the doctor would be giving him unnecessary looks again. “But how about the
consent from the donor’s parents, can we see the written agreement?”
His whole body stiffens at this, fingers hovering over the screen as they
involuntarily stop typing. This is the main cause to Seokjin’s biggest
discomfort. The rocks are weighing his shoulders heavier than ever but Dr. Jeon
seems to be at complete ease once he responds.
“Ah, have no worries about that. My PA already has everything covered for it.
We’ll just proceed with the surgery as scheduled.”
Seokjin’s too focused on breaking into cold sweats that he doesn’t realize it
the room has quieted down in favor to wait for his confirmation. Dr. Jeon
clears his throat and Seokjin flinches, eyes wild and frantic as he faces the
group of doctors before him. He forces himself to calm down before giving them
hesitant nod.
Dr. Oh studies him warily. “Then I guess it’s all for today. Thank you for
listening, everyone.”
Upon that announcement, Seokjin moves so fast, shutting down his Ipad and
shoving it into his briefcase. He has nothing else in mind except to leave the
room and get as far as he possibly can from this group of people. Halfway to
the exit door, he’s halted by a grip on his elbow.
“Hey, Mr. Kim,” Seokjin glances around to see Dr. Kang already there next to
him, pretty smile on her bright red lips and strong perfume clouding over his
restlessness. Seokjin blinks a couple of times to try and focus on what she’s
about to say. “Wanna go for lunch together?”
He doesn’t need to consider that. He just knows the answer.
“No, thank you. I still have a lot of paperwork I need to write for this
surgery.”
Her smile flattens, hand on his elbow also slowly is pulled back to her side.
Dr. Kang nods while trying to avoid his eyes and shows him forceful smile. “Oh,
okay. I’ll see you later then?”
Seokjin replies with a brief nod, stepping aside when she almost bumps into him
in her attempt to walk away. Lunch with a coworker shouldn’t be a big deal that
would resort to a rejection from him. Seokjin has no problem with that. But
lunch with a coworker who tried to hit on him was another thing.
Seokjin stares down to the ring on his finger and rubs it gently. How he misses
Namjoon so much.
“Dr. Kang is a decent girl, but you just broke her heart,” someone says
suddenly and Seokjin looks over to realize how his boss is still in the room,
having been watching their interaction all the time. Seokjin quickly shakes his
head.
“I have a right to say no,” he reasons to which Dr. Jeon laughs.
“Seokjin-ah, you’ve been working for me for years already. Never once have I
seen you with someone special.”
The question shoots something sting to his heart. Seokjin swallows forcefully.
“I guess I’m still not up for that kind of commitment.”
His boss sighs but makes no further comment as he stands up from his chair and
walks over to Seokjin, eyes steady on him the entire time.
“Just don’t forget to have lunch, Seokjin,” Dr. Jeon drops a pat to his back.
“It’s for your own health. The papers can wait.”
Seokjin bows, watching him walk away from behind before the door’s close and he
at last gets to release a heavy sigh he didn’t know he’s kept for so long.
Seokjin knows his employer is one good employer. Dr. Jeon has his own kindness
despite the rough exterior but this time, only this time, he can’t seem to
accept his kindness on him.
Not after he knows everything about what Dr. Jeon has been planning over the
years to save his wife.
Desperate for any form of comfort, Seokjin finds himself driving straight to
Namjoon’s apartment without even sure whether his fiancé is there or not. The
20 minute drive shortens to ten and before he even knows it, he’s already
punching the bell to allow him up to his boy’s door. Once the familiar deep but
loving voice echoes through the speaker, Seokjin almost cries out into it,
grateful that his fiancé is present at the moment he needs him the most.
“Namjoon-ah, open up. It’s me,” and sure enough, the intercom goes from red to
green in less than a second, Seokjin pushing himself up through the stairs two
steps at a time.
“Hyung, what are you doing—”
The door opens to reveal his favorite silver haired boy and Seokjin waits no
more to dive straight for his mouth, drinking the shocked gasp like a thirsty
man lost in a desert and roaming his tired, desperate hands all over the length
of Namjoon’s body wherever he can reach. His fiancé stumbles backward, dragging
him inside together with him from how tight and close he’s clutching himself to
Namjoon, kissing him fiercely as he licks into Namjoon’s mouth as if to steal
the entire air he has in his lungs. When Namjoon grabs his shoulders and tries
to push him to stand straighter, Seokjin scatters his kisses down to his jaw
and along the side of his neck, digging deeper into his skin once Namjoon
hisses a bit at the fresh hickey he receives. 
“Wait…wait, hyung—”
Namjoon already sounds breathless and out of control, yet Seokjin is fast to
silent him.
“I miss you,” he admits as he pulls away, trapping Namjoon’s face in both of
his palms and staring into those dark eyes he loves so much. “I really miss
you, Joonie. Let me just kiss you.”
He leans back in for more and Namjoon immediately accepts him without anymore
questions, barely even registers it when the door is kicked close a little too
hard by Namjoon as he’s more busy in pushing his fiancé backward, eager to get
him lay down on the couch just so Seokjin can kiss and devour him properly.
“Seok—seokjin hyung, slow down—” But he’s exceptionally rough today. Sex with
seokjin has always led to slow and gentle love making despite in the middle of
quickies between the two of them. Seokjin is just that kind of person, loves
taking his time in undressing Namjoon, loves roaming his hands owningly all
over the collection of tattoos on his fiancé’s body and loves prepping him for
hours just for the sake to drive Namjoon crazy and he has no other choice but
to beg so desperately for Seokjin to fuck him. That’s what sex is always about
with Seokjin, unless they decide it’s time for Namjoon to take control and only
then, it goes from mellow to hard and fast.
As for now, even Namjoon can notice how odd it is when Seokjin wastes no time
to rip apart his button down, pushes the destroyed shirt over Namjoon’s
shoulders and goes straight to litter kisses and bites all over his chest.
Namjoon loves being loved and devoured by him but the mental health and
Seokjin’s sanity state are even more important to him. He can feel how intense
his fiancé is under his touch, can practically feel he’s just on the verge of
breaking despite his attempt trying to tamper it down with sex and while he
knows it’s one of the ways he can help Seokjin unwind, he wants to care for him
with another way first.
“Baby, stop,” his voice firm but remains calm as he pushes Seokjin a bit
roughly away from his chest. The older fiancé blinks and breathes harshly down
at him, lips swollen and eyes away from focusing on the present. Namjoon clicks
his tongue, frantic to have his cool and collected fiancé back.
“Stop, take a deep breath,” he gently encourages him as he cups Seokjin’s jaw,
pulling him down until their foreheads touch. “We can’t do this when there’s
clearly something else bothering you. Let’s just relax and then you can take
your time to tell me, yeah?”
“I’m sorry,” Seokjin almost whimpers out, only seems to wake up from his
miserable, jumbled up thoughts. “So sorry, angel, I didn’t mean to force myself
on you. I just—”
Seokjin sits up completely, wincing and wanting to get off of Namjoon but his
younger fiancé quickly stops it by hugging Seokjin tight by his waist, pulling
him back down to lay on his chest.
“Hyung, baby, I want to okay?” Namjoon reassures, resting Seokjin’s face
against his neck as he cards long fingers into his hair, stroking continuously
to soothe him. “I promise. We’ll do whatever you wanted us to do after this but
you need to tell me your problem first. Don’t scare me like this, sweetheart.”
There’s a thick gentleness and even thicker care in his voice until Seokjin
can’t help but melt completely in his arms, nuzzling his face into the side of
Namjoon’s neck while closing his eyes and winding his arms up until he can wrap
them around his shoulders. His legs are sandwiched by both sides of Namjoon’s
waist, entirely wrapped himself on his lover.
It helps, it proves to be the best medicine ever to gradually calm him down as
Namjoon rubs with one hand up and down his back, the other one stroking and
caressing his hair, kissing the top of his head every now and then until
Seokjin lets out a sigh against the skin of Namjoon’s throat, his musky perfume
manly and soothing to him.
“I’m tired of lying,” he starts quietly, doesn’t move from their lying down
position.
“About what?”
“About my work, and about us…”
Namjoon pauses his stroking, thinking for a minute. Only when Seokjin begins to
whine that he continues again, keeping his voice steady as he asks. “Us?”
Seokjin nods, sulking into his neck. “Joon, we’re supposed to already be
married by now. But don’t you feel curious that I keep on delaying it?”
He just wants to bare his all to his fiancé now, no more hiding.
“Well, I—” Namjoon himself isn’t sure what to say. He considers them still
young to get married but he would also be lying if he said he wasn’t waiting
for Seokjin to drop the sign, for them to be each other’s life partner forever.
“I just thought maybe you wanted to take it slow. You’re busy with your job
after all and I still couldn’t call rapping as my stable job so I—”
“Those still shouldn’t halt us from getting married, should they?”
“Then why, hyung?” Namjoon sighs, frowning to the ceiling above. “Why are you
delaying it? Why are you hiding our relationship? Is it because we’re two
males?”
Seokjin slowly sits up, supporting his body by his forearms as he takes in
Namjoon beneath him. Namjoon is the missing puzzle pieces he never knew he
needed until the moment he met him. Their first encounter had been simple and
cliché, just on the night Seokjin came to spy on certain Kim Taehyung for the
task given by Dr. Jeon, his attention switched instead upon the charming and
hot DJ Rapmon. They couldn’t take their eyes off each other the entire night
and just when Seokjin left the club with a disappointed thought of never got to
know the DJ closer, Namjoon attacked him by the entrance and kissed the hell
out of him. You may call it infatuation, a lust at the first sight, a one night
stand but Seokjin found himself kept coming back for Namjoon.
He didn’t need to stick around, Dr. Jeon already got a grip of Taehyung, but he
still did for Namjoon, supporting each of his performance and going out more
than just for quick fucks. They’re two opposite poles. One with suit and tie,
one with tattoo and piercings. One with so much reputation to uphold, one with
so little to care about the world’s view on himself. One who’s too calm and
calculative, one who’s clumsy and destructive by daily basis. They balanced out
each other nicely.
And until the day Seokjin proposed to him that he finally realized, he needed
to bring Namjoon back to his household at some point. No relationship can go on
so long without furthering to the next phase. And Seokjin knows, they both want
to have that commitment, want to own each other in a secured way and want to
share their entire life with one another. Their own little marriage. Seokjin
wants it all with Namjoon, only with him.
But there’s only one problem, one problem that prevents him from being honest,
prevents him from bringing Namjoon back to his family and Seokjin doesn’t think
he can keep it all at bay for any longer.
“When I graduated, my parents expected me to land a huge job,” he tells as he
thumbs at a fish tattoo by a side of Namjoon’s jaw, playing with it. He rarely
opens up about his family to Namjoon, so maybe now is the right time. “Damn,
it’s business administration degree, it should sell wherever I go. But it
proved to be harder than that so when I got the job as PA, I swore to myself
I’ll treasure it. I’ll do my job properly and I’ll be the son my parents always
hoped I was.”
He recalls his own rebellious stage, how his young blood always boiled and
chose to go against the life arrangement his parents had for him.
“They were never proud of me,” Seokjin smiles, meeting Namjoon’s eyes. “Heck, I
was supposed to take over their business after graduation. I shouldn’t choose
to be independent or shit but I still chose it. So when I somehow succeeded in
it, my parents wanted more. They still want it now…”
Seokjin trails off and avoids his gaze, leaving Namjoon to decode the matter
demanded by his parents on his own. Yet his fiancé isn’t genius for nothing, he
only needs to study Seokjin’s somber face a little longer and there it is, the
realization sits heavy in his eyes. Seokjin couldn’t bear to look at him.
“They want you to marry a girl,” the way he states instead of asks wrenching
Seokjin’s heart so hard in his chest.
“But, Namjoon, I don’t want a girl!” He suddenly bursts, having been waiting to
admit this out loud for so long. “In fact, I don’t want any other girl or boy
because I just want you! The moment we met that night in the club, the moment
you saw me and smiled at me I…I never wanted someone so badly before, Joon-ah.”
He admits, tears begin to leak by the corners of his eyes while Namjoon can
only stare long and hard at him. He isn’t stupid. He always has this sour
feeling that Seokjin probably keeps their wedding on pending for this kind of
reason. Because somehow, in the eyes of his parents, in the eyes of society,
Namjoon will never win against a girl. Namjoon can never love Seokjin as much
as a girl can.
And it all hurts, hearing the reason now from his fiancé because finally, he
knows why their engagement party had only the two of them, he knows why he
wasn’t allowed to tell anybody about their engagement and he knows why he
needed to sneak through the window at 3 in the morning just to see his
fiancé—all because of the world’s perspective on them, on their love.
Worst of all, he’s kept secret from Seokjin’s parents, his future husband’s
parents. A very important pair of individuals to his fiancé.
Namjoon feels the tears bubbling up his own throat.
“Hyung, they’re your parents,” he says at last, blinking up at Seokjin.
“But you’re my everything, my world,” Seokjin tells him instead, pairing the
admission with a gentle kiss to his lips. “How can I give you up just like
that?”
Seokjin knows that, Namjoon knows it too. And despite the possible fight they
need to go through against his parents in order to be together, Namjoon somehow
believes they’re strong enough to get through it.
He smiles against Seokjin’s lips as he kisses back, nibbling lightly on his
bottom lip before he pulls away.
“Then what did you lie for your work?”
Seokjin frowns again, a sight disliked by Namjoon so he pulls his head down to
kiss it away. “Mrs. Jeon’s scheduled to have her surgery after the launching.”
“What, so she found a donor already?”
“Not legally,” Seokjin feels the guilt creeping up in him again. “You know Kim
Taehyung, right?”
Namjoon nods.
“He has two siblings, younger sister and brother,” Seokjin admits through a
sigh. “Dr. Jeon is gonna use her as the donor.”
Namjoon looks at him with widening eyes. “What? Because her blood matched Mrs.
Jeon’s blood?”
“Yes, but she’s still underage. Without the consent from her real parents, she
couldn’t undergo the transplant.”
And that’s where he’s forced to lie, the fabricated consent Seokjin prepared
and wrote himself.
“Then how about her parents? Have you found them?”
Seokjin contemplates to tell, guilt like an iron chain around his ankle,
pulling him down and deep into his fault.
“One is dead, another is comatose.”
“God…” Namjoon sits up to his elbows, losing words upon hearing it. “Do the
siblings know about it?”
They don’t, that’s the problem. Seokjin tells Namjoon so.
“That’s why Dr. Jeon didn’t choose to use Taehyung, because he’ll question him
about the consent,” Namjoon says after that, finally putting two and two
together at why Taerie is chosen as the donor instead of Taehyung.
“But it’s still cruel, Joon. This entire arrangement is fucked up,” Seokjin
shakes his head repeatedly, his panic is rising up again. “Dr. Jeon got near to
Taehyung just to find his closest relatives aside from his parents for the
matching blood. And now he’s using the poor girl but the most fucked up part
is, she’s doing it for money!”
“Money?” Namjoon furrows while Seokjin desperately nods.
“The girl didn’t even question much the other day when I brought her in for
blood test and arrangement of everything. She just agreed. She said she needed
that money so her brother can quit his job. She’s doing it for Taehyung, Joon.”
His fiancé sinks back to couch armrest, biting his lips while staring deep to
the white ceiling above.
“That’s shocking.”
Seokjin couldn’t agree more, letting out a tired sigh for the nth time and
resting his head back on Namjoon’s chest.
“I couldn’t bear it to see them use a helpless girl like that. She knows
nothing about her parents, and she knows nothing about their youngest brother.”
“What’s with that one?”
“Their youngest brother isn’t biological sibling. He’s somehow adopted. Only
Taehyung and the girl have matching blood with Mrs. Jeon.”
“The hospital ran blood test on him too?” Seokjin nods again into Namjoon’s
chest, recalling the day he discovered that unexpected news from the lab, how
Puppy lacked of resemblance factor from Taehyung and Taerie, how the little boy
has totally different DNA from his older siblings.
“But you know one of their parents is still somehow alive right? You should
find that person and ask for confirmation about the siblings—”
“That’s the part I hate the most, Namjoon,” Seokjin lifts his head to stare
straight at him. Namjoon caresses his cheek. “Why?”
“Because their comatose dad is right in the same fucking hospital, and Dr. Jeon
keeps this entire secret from the siblings all this time.”
There it is, the core to all of this. The reason to why Dr. Jeon decided to
fabricate the consent, the reason to why he first found out about Taehyung, the
reason to how he first found the way to save his wife. Seokjin knows his plan
from A to Z, he works on it along the way.
“I can’t do this anymore,” but his limit is only that far. “They’re innocent
kids, they shouldn’t be used just to save a wife to a fucking hospital
director. No power is strong enough to utilize people like that. They’re human,
not blood supply. They have the right to know what happened to their dad.”
Seokjin lets it all out, every single drop of his worry and concern after all
this time, how he never agrees with the way Dr. Jeon is dealing with this
matter, how he’s manipulating the entire Kim family, how he’s taking advantage
of Mr. Kim’s comatose state.
“Tell them, Seokjin-ah,” is the only conclusion Namjoon can come to.
“Your job might be affected but what they’re doing is wrong,” he explains
softly. “If you don’t wanna be part of them, you need to tell the siblings
before the surgery. Tell Taehyung everything, hyung.”
He falls silent, considering the consequences he will need to face once he
decides to leak everything out. It wouldn’t just affect Taehyung and his
siblings, he knows another person that will surely get hurt from this.
Jeongguk. His relationship with Taehyung would be led to misery too because how
can Taehyung forgive the Jeon, knowing his father is kept hidden all this time?
Every hell will break loose, and Dr. Jeon surely won’t forgive him for
destroying his long planned goal.
He glances up to Namjoon, gaze hesitant and soft.
“If I lost everything after this, you still gonna be with me right?”
Namjoon somehow manages to laugh, showcasing Seokjin’s favorite dimples while
shaking his head.
“Idiot. Is that even a question?” Namjoon nudges his nose with his own before
leaning in to peck Seokjin on the lips. “I love you for who you’re, baby. Not
for what you can offer me with your job. No one can tell us to be apart.”
His answer is final and resolute and there’s nothing Seokjin would do to
disagree. He nods back and pastes their lips together, mumbling “I love you
too, angel,” before sealing it with a deep kiss.
===============================================================================
 
Café Bene is only two shops away yet Jimin begins to slow down his pace instead
of speeding to reach there faster. It’s not his fault, really, when his heart
uncooperatively decides to have a race while his whole body starts to sweat
buckets. He hisses, a little too loud until a girl coming from the opposite
direction flinches as she walks beside him, sneaking a judging look up from her
phone and cornering around such a huge radius away from where Jimin’s stopped
to bow apologetically at her. Then he hisses again, more to his own self, lower
in volume before he throws a glance to his reflection from the glass wall of a
shop there.
He appraises his whole appearance one more time. Jimin spent about two hours
and a half before the actual time he’s scheduled to meet Hoseok just to choose
the perfect outfit for his day out. He wants to look simple and still
attractive at the same time, but he also doesn’t want to overdress himself.
It’s just an easy day to unwind and chill over a glass of drink so outfits
shouldn’t be a matter to frown about. Right?
Well, Jimin disagrees.
This is the first time since the dance competition ended that he’s meeting
Hoseok again and Jimin wants to leave a good impression on the older boy. He’s
changed from street fashion style, to arty, to chic and even punk and denim at
some point but still, none of them felt quite right. Driven by the fear he
would be late for their outing, he at last chose to put on his regular style,
one that he likes to call Jiminie’s with graphic white tee half tucked in his
ripped faded jeans, his day-to-day black sneakers and a few silver accessories
such as a long chain necklace and bracelets. His eyes travel down to his hand
where he’s carrying a black leather bag which he has no idea why he thought it
was wise to bring it along. He literally has nothing in it—just his phone and
power bank. His wallet obviously will only be stuck in his back pocket so to
bring such a big bag to keep two small items? Jimin reasons to himself he needs
something to hold or else, Hoseok would notice he’s trembling.
Yep, that’s definitely the reason.
Fixing his hair one last time and giving up in styling it, Jimin takes a deep
breath before he starts again down the street to the café. He hopes he won’t
look so awkward next to Hoseok, he hopes Hoseok would look less dashing than he
normally is so Jimin can feel normal, he hopes he doesn’t give his heart so
much trouble with—
Jimin looks up only to immediately being starstruck on his feet. He couldn’t
move, rooted still on where he’s standing as there’s Jung Hoseok exactly across
from him. Surprisingly, they’re matched in term of their graphic white tee and
ripped jeans. The difference is that Hoseok is wearing it fully tucked with a
bright orange belt, matching some of the colors on his shirt and the huge
yellow PULPFICTION on it is paired with his equally yellow cap. He looks
flawless, captivating even while he’s merely standing right before the entrance
of the café and Jimin is totally right about Hoseok easily outshines him.
And he does give his heart so much trouble because he and his sharp jawline
from the side, and his high, pointed nose, and—
“Oh, Jimin-ah!” And when he turns to call his name and smiles while waving at
him, Jimin’s gone.
He feels mad at himself and at Hoseok. This isn’ta date so why should he dress
so handsomely like that? Why is he doing this when he’s not Jimin’s boyfriend?
Most of all, why is Jimin such a fourteen year old kid with messy heart and
jumbled up mind all over again? Why?
Hoseok runs over to him. Once he stops grinning in front of him, Jimin
cautiously takes a step back, head goes dizzy on automatic from a whiff of
Hoseok’s spicy, boyish perfume. This boy will surely be the death of him.
“Hey, Jimin. You had trouble coming here?” He begins but Jimin can only shake
his head, passing his bag from a hand to another hand because it’s slippery
even in his palms. He regrets every second of his life for bringing this bag!
As Hoseok nods, he directs them to the café and they choose to lounge at one of
the mini booths outside in the open air, which Jimin is thankful for because
aircond and sweats? He will smell like a dead rat!
“Here, here, sit here,” Hoseok pulls out a chair on the right side of the table
just the moment Jimin chooses the left one. He responds a blink to the elder’s
outrageous grin, finger still pointing down to the chair.
“Em, why?”
Hoseok simply beams at him. “That seat is directly proportional to the sun, not
good for your skin.”
Well Jimin might as well choose to be burnt by the very sun because shaded or
not, he’s already dying inside with his sweetness and care. Jimin tries to keep
his cool, briefly glancing up to the sun and killing his so called coolness
when the ray burns, causing him to squeeze his eyes shut, hissing while rubbing
it with his palm. Hoseok clicks his tongue, walking around to reach him and
pushing Jimin to the other chair until he sits the fuck down, shyly mumbling
‘thank you’.  
Hoseok dismisses it with another blinding grin—maybe it’s Jimin’s destiny to be
burnt out today—before he squats down beside him, cutely places his chin to the
table edge and asks, “So what do you want for a drink? Latte? Cappuccino?
Caramel Macchiato?”
Jimin’s eyes barely recover from the sun as he’s back again blinking weirdly at
Hoseok’s bizarre cute behavior. “Urh…I’ll just take ice lemon tea.”
Out of all the coffee stated.
“Oh, okay! Wait a moment, yea?”
“O…kay…” Jimin watches as Hoseok gets up and makes his way into the café to
place their order. Wait, there’s something wrong with Hoseok right? By regular
basis, he’s jumpy and cheerful 24/7. By the current occurrence, it’s off. Don’t
get him wrong, he admittedly enjoys it when Hoseok takes care of him and acts
sweet to him but this is just ain’t right. Having Hoseok treat him like someone
special is intimidating. Nice, but intimidating. Jimin doesn’t know what to do
with his heart, or brain, or hands, or body.
That’s why he keeps on fidgeting around in his seat, couldn’t even stop
sweating until Hoseok comes back with a tray of two similar drinks and a cake.
“You didn’t order anything else?” Jimin asks, eyeing the identical ice lemon
tea as Hoseok places his in front of him.
“Me?” Hoseok glances at his glass too.  “Ah, no. I like ice lemon tea too!”
If only Jimin had known it earlier, they could just share a drink from one same
straw and possibly have indirect kis—
“And here, a slice of choco lava cake for you!”
His very much unnecessary thought halts by a plate of cake, nicely topped with
cherry and vanilla icing, placed before his eyes. Jimin blinks at it, growing
more confused than ever.
“Thank—thank you….Hyung?” He hesitantly looks up to Hoseok happily sipping on
his tea. “Hmm?”
“What’s happening?”
Hoseok takes a noisy gulp. “Huh? What?”
“I mean, you’re acting odd.”
“Me? I’m always odd! Hahaha!” Jimin couldn’t tell if the laugh is natural or
forced. But maybe if he stared hard enough, he can see how Hoseok is just
equally as sweaty as him. Of course, he misses it.
“I see…” Jimin can only say that, about to bring the straw of his drink to his
mouth when Hoseok sits up straight while pulling out his phone.
“The cake’s cute! Shall we take a picture with it?”
Jimin has no time to dismiss it or excuse himself for a quick restroom time
because he can feel how his fringes stick to his forehead and his face dead
oily thanks to his sweat. He’s in no decent state for a picture, let alone an
instagram picture, but Hoseok already arrives at his side, crouching down to
his level and wrapping a hand around his shoulders to place them close side by
side.
Jimin is stiff all the time Hoseok is sitting up a nice filter for them before
the camera is up and the plate is shoved into his hands, forced to poise with
it as Hoseok clicking madly for more shots than necessary. God, he hopes his
grimace looks fine enough to be considered a smile.
He’s too inexperienced for this!
Hoseok doesn’t go back to his seat, doesn’t even remove his hand from his
shoulders so all the time, Jimin simply watches him edit one picture he deems
the best, adding cute stickers and all before he captions it with chillin’ out
with ma boy ;D
Ma boy…
Ma boy.
Jimin is screaming inside yet outside, he only quietly smiles until he sees
Hoseok tags the picture to kimMonnie94 that he lets out a laugh.
“Hyung, why do you tag Monnie hyung?”
“Monnie, what—you noticed that?” Hoseok scrunches his nose, hugging his phone
to his chest as if only now he noticed that he’s still crouching beside him.
Jimin simply rolls his eyes, waiting until Hoseok takes his place back for him
to question further.
“You know him?”
Hoseok sighs, keeping his phone away. “Yea, he’s kinda my roommate.”
“Kinda?” His coworker from the club is actually roommate to the boy he adores?
Small world.
“He’s not a good roommate!” Hoseok abruptly complains “If he’s a good one,
he’ll tell me about knowing you long time ago!”
Jimin etches his eyebrow up. “So you just knew?”
“Yup, recently! And I’m still pissed off with him!”
“Why?”
“Because he gets to see you every night in the club while I only get to see
you…see you now,” Jimin’s eyes intent on him, controlling his smile from
breaking out at how Hoseok avoids his eyes and pouts to his tea. He even has
pinky blush on his cheeks if Jimin’s eyes didn’t deceive him.
God, he’s so terribly fond of such sight.
“Don’t pout, hyung,” Jimin tells him gently. “And I don’t really see Rapmon
hyung every night. I work only twice a week there and usually he’s too busy
performing to entertain me.”
Hoseok slowly looks up to him. “Really?”
“Really,” he promises and Hoseok is beaming again. Such a humanized sunshine.
“That’s great! That’s awesome!”
Jimin only laughs, glad that he gets the cheerful Hoseok back. Picking up a
scoop of the cake in its mini spoon, he holds it forward to Hoseok, praying
hard his hand won’t tremble.
“You wanna taste this a bit?” Hoseok opens his mouth without further prompting,
swallowing the spoon into his mouth, dragging it backward and then peeking out
his pink tongue to lick the excessive icing off the spoon. Jimin’s poor eyes
that watch every single detail movement are surely sinned meanwhile his dirty,
dirty mind instantly picturing the exact same slow-mo happening around his
dick. How it would feel to have Hoseok licking him.
Oh. Fucking. God.
Jimin yells to his brain as he harshly pulls the spoon back to him and causes
the cream to smear by a corner of Hoseok’s lips. Not helping. Not at all.
“You—you have…” He tries to tell him but Hoseok continues to chew, deep dimples
popping in and out each time. God, how can a human be so freaking cute? “What?”
Jimin gives up, picking up a napkin from the tray and wiping on the spot that
is the cause to his internal misery. “Here,” he sighs as he hands the napkin to
Hoseok to clean the rest.
But instead of accepting it, Hoseok holds his hand into his, grinning widely.
“Thank you, Jiminie! We’re sweeter than any k-drama, aren’t we?”
So naturally, he blushes, a pair of gigantic red shade on his cheeks that makes
Hoseok to break into laughter and lean forward to squish those cheeks in
between his palms.
“Aigoo, aigoo…look at you, so cute!”
“Hyung!” He whines, pushing his hands away but god knows, Jimin hopes to have
those warm hands shielding and caressing his face forever.
“So…where should we go next?” They finish eventually, with Hoseok proudly waves
his card out of his wallet when it’s time to pay and Jimin kills his buzz by
saying it’s just a couple of tea and a cake he’s paying for. Nothing too
extravagant. Hoseok has glared at him to which Jimin giggles at but they’re now
wandering down the street, mindlessly trying to search for something to do
next.
Jimin replies with a shrug because honestly, anywhere is fine as long as
they’re together. “I don’t know, how about you lead the way?”
“Hmm, then I’ll show you my favorite street to perform. Let’s go!”
Jimin can already tell he knows where they’re heading. He’s not a creep, it’s
not like he spends his waking moment to stalk the elder despite how much he
adores him, but the street they’re visiting, the street Hoseok is about to show
him also holds a certain meaning to him. If he’s not mistaken, it’s where the
first time ever he laid his eyes on the other boy.
Just to be safe, Jimin keeps the guesses to himself and follows as Hoseok
climbs up a bus. The whole journey is in a comfortable silence, Hoseok taking
out his phone and earphone and doesn’t even speak a word as he places the right
chord to Jimin’s ear. Then he plays the music, mostly Tinashe whom Hoseok
claims as his number one idol and artist crush, gushing unstoppably about her
while Jimin is only too content to listen and stare at him. He doesn’t even
realize it once they’re there, too busy in being fascinated by Hoseok until the
elder stops the music and picks his hand up to climb down the bus.
“Welcome! This is where Hope on Street started!”
Jimin looks around with his hand still being clutched by the other. So he’s
right. This is the street he’s guessed earlier and this is also where he
stopped at the night he was wondering alone, tired and worn out from his own
dance practice.
 
Jimin can say dancing is an important part of him. The boy was intrigued by it
as early as he was at the tender age of seven, being brought to a performance
by his parents. Since then he worked hard to master it, entering more than one
classes until he was sixteen and decided to make dance an official thing in his
education. His parents had opposed it at first, only allowing it if Jimin took
dancing as his side hobby instead of long term future but the boy had been
determined. He secretly assigned himself to the art school and chose dance as
his major.
At first it was hard. Not because he had zero basic, but because there were
endlessly way talented people as his classmates. Jimin was surrounded by them,
senior and junior, same age peers, which weren’t just good at dancing, but
effortlessly talented and expert in one certain part of dance category. Some
were master in contemporary, some in ballet and the list of talented souls went
on endlessly. Jimin can’t help but feel inferior at some points during his
study, on the verge of giving up the night he took a random bus to take him to
no particular place.
He had first addressed his parents about it, asking them if he should continue
his study or not and his parents had only told him to be responsible of what he
had chosen. He chose dancing, he even worked in a club illegally to pay for the
fee so now, giving up wasn’t in the option at all.
So Jimin let out a sigh, replaying his parents’ words alongside with what
happened to him at school that day. It was a bad day in overall. His instructor
complained on how he didn’t make any improvement from his last practice, his
teammates refused to group with him for their latest assignment just because
‘he’s not good enough in choreographing’ and his body was too tired for more
practices.
He couldn’t take it all anymore so he leaned his head to the window beside him,
throwing his gaze out in hope to get some sleep from the blowing wind. And that
was the moment he saw it, a group of people was dancing and the beat they were
dancing to was loud enough to be heard even from inside the bus. There was also
quite a huge audience around them so before he can stop it, Jimin already
pushed the button on top of his seat and rushed down.
The crowd couldn’t stop cheering and clapping their hands to the performers
even as the show was still on going. So in between the small gap of people’s
shoulders, Jimin tried to peek into it and watched what they all were so
entertained by. The first one filled his sight was the center dancer,
presumably their main performer who had a hard concentration on his face as he
twisted and turned according to the music.
To say Jimin was instantly sold should be understatement. Because he just
couldn’t move, couldn’t even blink for a second as his eyes followed each and
every motion of the dancer, a male whom Jimin thought wasn’t a human at all,
but instead the air, moving so gracefully and full of precise fluidity in his
dance. He only woke up from his enchantment once the crowd erupted into massive
applauses again and Jimin joined them a tad later.
His eyes were still on the boy earlier, bowing to thank them and now that he
wasn’t dancing, his whole facial switched to an alarming bright smile as he
grinned to everyone.
“Thank you for watching! I’m Jung Hoseok, and Hope on The Street will end now.
Please come again next evening for more new choreographies by me and the team!”
They responded to his announcement with another series of loud cheering before
the crowd started to split up.
Jimin hesitated, didn’t know whether to approach the crews or not. Sure, he
would definitely come again the next day but can he at least tell that Jung
Hoseok how amazing he was? With a deep breath, Jimin took a step forward and
simultaneously, a group of three girls cut his chance off by surrounding the
boy.
Jimin pouted, choosing to just watch them.
“Hoseokie, you’re brilliant as usual!”
“Yeah, yeah! That dance was dope!”
Hoseok smiled, a curve that managed to shine so bright even in the night.
“Thank you, ladies. I’ll see you all tomorrow okay?”
He tried to step away again and Jimin wanted to use the time to slip in but one
of the girls stopped him by the shoulder. “But don’t you feel tired?”
“Huh? I just danced 5 complete routines straight. Are you kidding?” And when he
smirked, even though it wasn’t directed at him, Jimin still felt his own cheeks
warming. He heard the girls chuckled.
“No…I mean, you’re doing this show for free. You ever thought of asking for a
bit payment maybe?”
“Yeah, without payment it’s quite a waste of time. Maybe you should give it
up.”
Jimin furrowed, didn’t like the way those girls voiced out their opinion to
someone who did well in his performance and obviously worked hard for it. Since
Jimin was also a dancer, he can tell just by looking at one performance, Hoseok
had a skill that even a long time dancer wished to have. So that kind of
thought was a bit disrespectful. But Hoseok was calm, smile still etched on his
face and body completely relax while he collected his sports bag up from the
pavement.
“If you wanna see me give up, maybe you shouldn’t come to this show anymore.
Cuz I won’t be fool enough to be here. But I still do, because I won’t give up
on what I’ve started.” His words left Jimin with something deep and strong
hammered straight to his heart. He stared firmly at Hoseok. “Besides, money
doesn’t make me happy. Dancing does.”
And with that, he left. Jimin didn’t get to greet him that night, yet his words
engraved in his mind for the rest of the night. Jimin was on the verge of
giving up on his own passion. But somehow, a dazzling performance and the
meaningful words from a beautiful stranger gave him enough hope to continue,
not letting go what made him happy the most.
Gradually, since then, Jimin knew he only had eyes for Hoseok and maybe not
just his sight, his heart too.
 
“Jiminie? You okay?” The question comes with a tug on his hand. Jimin looks
down, realizing he’s currently holding hands with the very person he was
recalling about, the person who unknowingly had supported him through his tough
time and the person who has no idea how he has Jimin’s heart from the start
already.
“I’m—I’m sorry, I think I have to leave,” Jimin slips his hand off the warm
interlace, feeling something in his chest break a little as he turns to have
his back on Hoseok, refuses for him to see how stupid he is for being emotional
over such a small matter.
“Eh? But why? You just got here.”
He sucks in a deep breath, trying his hardest to not acknowledge the
disappointment apparent in Hoseok’s voice.
“I really need to leave. Thanks for the drink. I’ll see you later, hyung.”
“Jimin, wait!” But Hoseok goes after, moving faster even as he grabs his wrist
and steps in front of Jimin, ducking his head to meet Jimin in the eyes which
the younger quickly avoids it. He speaks with hesitation after that. “I have
another performance here next weekend, around 5 pm on Sunday. Would you come?”
It’s impossible for Jimin to miss it. He already has it marked on his calendar
because memorizing Hoseok’s performance schedule is just as easy as ABC to him
by now.
“I always come,” Jimin mumbles, still not dare to meet his face. He stares down
on his shoes instead.
“Really? You mean, for my performance?” Hoseok sounds surprised but it just
cracks his heart further because that also means, he never even once noticed
how Jimin was always one bystander among the huge audience Hoseok had. “Then
why haven’t I seen you before?”
Jimin hates how that question slits his heart into pieces.
“Of course you didn’t. You don’t allow yourself to actually see people, do you?
Your world, there’s just you and the rest, right?”
This time, Jimin dares himself to finally glance up at Hoseok and the sight is
heartbreaking. He doesn’t expect Hoseok to fall silent, to stare at him with
utter shock and confusion on his face and to loosen his grip on his wrist. So
with heavy heart, Jimin accepts that as his cue to leave.
Maybe Hoseok really does never see him.
He steps away again and only then, Hoseok decides to steal his heart entirely.
“But when you’re not in my line of sight, I’d notice it.” Jimin halts on his
way, barely believing his ears. “When you’re not there with the rest, I notice
it.”
Jimin gasps in disbelief, couldn’t take these vague words anymore. He’s just
too stupid to understand it and he needs Hoseok to enlighten him.
“What do you mean? What are you trying to say actually?”
He throws a serious look over his shoulder at the elder. Hoseok stares back at
him for a moment before he reaches to hold both of Jimin’s narrow shoulders,
and turn his body to face him. Their eyes locked and it grows harder to listen
to what Hoseok is saying when the beats of his heart are louder.
“I mean, I just want you in my life,” Hoseok says at last. “It feels empty when
I don’t see you so much anywhere.”
Jimin loses idea of what to do. His brain runs one mile a minute from
processing the meaning of those confessions, his heart flies way too high for
him to catch up and his body is just a useless empty shell at the moment. He
doesn’t register it even when Hoseok is inching closer and closer to him until
he feels his warm breath grazes the skin on his own lips.
Jimin blinks, eyes traveling up to Hoseok’s dark brown irises and only then, he
becomes aware of how close they’re, how there’s only an inch of air separating
them. He gasps, panicking of what to react but in the next second, all he knows
is that Hoseok is swallowing his gasp, covering Jimin’s mouth with his own and
it is just a fragile touch between a pair of lips against the other.
Jimin couldn’t even tell himself to close his eyes, too busy processing what’s
happening, body too stiff and weak at the same time without anything to hold
him up, and as fast as the time stopping moment comes, it’s gone.
Hoseok slowly pulls away, licking his lips while gulping audibly as his eyes
focus on none but Jimin’s gaped open mouth, then up to meet his eyes. That
look, that look with so much intensity and something soft and fierce in
Hoseok’s eyes is the one snapping Jimin out of his idiocy. He dives straight
forward, hands coming up to cup Hoseok’s face and lips smash with a loud teeth
clashing against Hoseok’s mouth to steal everything back of what Hoseok has
taken from his so far. And luckily, he’s not a lone desperate. Hoseok is like
someone just energized with something too as he engulfs Jimin’s waist with both
arms and kisses back until Jimin is bent backward to his waist, their height
difference is a total advantage for him to taste him more deeply and curl him
closer to his chest.
They both forget they’re in the middle of a public street now, don’t even hear
the shouts or throat clearings they receive from being too absorbed in enjoying
each other’s kisses, each other’s addictive warmth and each other’s longing
that’s shut silent for so long already. In that moment, there are just Jimin
and Hoseok. The rest blends into anything unimportant, serving only as their
serene background.
Jimin’s the one pulling away this time, needing so much air to catch up and his
sanity to be in checked properly. Hoseok gently guides him to stand straight
again before he moves his palms to caress up and down the small of Jimin’s
back, as if to calm him down after such intense first kisses. The thought
brings smile to bloom on Jimin’s face, stretching so wide his eyes disappear
into small slits and him smiling, causing Hoseok to grin as well—the usual
bright, beautiful and loving smile of his.
Jimin just wants to kiss that smile over and over again, settling for stroking
his jaw softly when he knows his lung still demands air to stabilize
everything. And as much as they want to stay in that moment longer, it’s broken
to the chirping of Jimin’s phone, indicating a message just comes through.
He groans, resting his forehead forward on Hoseok’s chin while the elder
chuckles, a nice rumble against his chest and he pokes Jimin on his back to
give his phone the attention it needs. Jimin snorts but moves a hand from
Hoseok’s face to pull it out anyways, heart stuttering all along since Hoseok
stays holding him around his waist.
“It’s from Jeon,” he announces, silently cursing the younger for ruining the
most awaited moment in his life.
“Jeonggukie?” Hoseok leans backward a bit to read upon the screen held up by
Jimin in between them.
 
From: Jeon dick
I need ur help
 
Hoseok snorts seeing the contact name, commenting only “that’s short and
vague,” to his concise text. Jimin clicks his tongue.
“This kid only knows me when he needs help.”
And like on cue, it beeps again.
 
From: Jeon dick
Its about taehyung
 
Both Hoseok and Jimin frown this time, wondering what kind of help Jeongguk
would need for Taehyung that warrants him to personally text Jimin instead of
using their group chat.
“I’ll help him,” Jimin just shrugs, keeping his phone away since he knows he’s
always open to give his hands on anything when it involves his best friend.
“Yeah, me too,” Hoseok adds and it receives an eyebrow from Jimin.
“Why are you tagging along?”
Hoseok pretends to think, chuckling a bit.
“Because we’re a pair now, aren’t we?”
A pair huh? Hoseok and him? It’s like his wildest dream.
Yet it sounds nice, sweet even when Hoseok pushes him in until their chests
touch and he whispers to Jimin, voice slow with mischievous glint in his eyes.
“Shall we kiss?”
Jimin bursts into laughter.
“You’re so embarrassing, hyung,” he pushes him away, halfassing it. “And I
haven’t even agreed to be in relationship with—”
He’s interrupted with the best thing ever that is Hoseok’s lips so Jimin
doesn’t need to think twice. He definitely would agree to be more with Hoseok.
===============================================================================
 
They’re on the way to the orphanage. Ever since the day at Yoongi’s parlor,
Taehyung has gone quieter and Jeongguk understands, he has a lot in his
mind—worries about his sister, worries about the possibility of being expelled
by the school. It’s all heavy, Jeongguk doesn’t blame him for staring miles
away, brain and soul totally at different places even while he’s sitting next
to Jeongguk in the bus. Their hands entwined but somehow, Jeongguk doesn’t feel
like he’s holding Taehyung to the present. He’s there, he can touch him, but a
big part of him is missing.
It concerns the hell out of Jeongguk. He needs his beautiful, smiling Taehyung
back.
“Tae, wanna hear a story?” Jeongguk says as he shakes their hands, squeezing a
bit in attempt to attract the elder’s attention.
Clearly it pulls Taehyung out of his long train of thoughts, flinching a little
before he blinks and turns to show Jeongguk a blank face. “What is it?”
Jeongguk grins, glad that he at least still catches up with his question
before. Turning to his side to face him, Jeongguk puts on a playful look,
somehow manages to make Taehyung narrow his eyes at him, beginning to be
intrigued with his story.
“You know, I grew up in my dad’s hospital. It was practically my playground,”
he states with a proud smile while it earns a roll of eyes from Taehyung. “So
even though I was a brat all the time, nobody dared to scold me since I was Big
Boss’ son.”
Taehyung snorts, mumbling “show off,” that Jeongguk ignores to proceed his
tale.
“I remember when I was around seven, I liked to play this one prank where I
colored any random chair or bench in the hospital with my crayons, thickly so
that anyone who would sit on it, got smudged dirt on their butt once they stood
up.” Taehyung finally laughs, shaking his head as he probably picturing little
Jeongguk running around, doing such a sneaky prank. “That’s mean, it would be
so embarrassing.”
“Yup, and they were mostly nurses, with white uniform.”
“You little shit,” Taehyung reaches up to smack him on the chest, laughing
together with Jeongguk “So what happened?”
“What happened was, one day, I saw this male nurse hitting on a woman. He said
to the staff she had a nice butt and laughed about it with his friends. I
didn’t think it was funny, so I painted the seat where the woman would sit.”
“Weren’t you supposed to do it at the nurse?”
“No, hear me out. Once the woman sat there, the man told her she had a nice
body especially her butt so when she stood up to leave, she was shocked to see
her dirtied skirt and guess what? She slapped him there and then! It was
hilarious!”
Jeongguk couldn’t keep it inside, clutching his stomach as his laughter bounces
all over the bus until people start to throw them questioning looks to which
automatically cause Taehyung to snigger out loud too. They couldn’t care less
about their surroundings, Jeongguk remembering his rowdy childhood while
Taehyung picturing what the scene told by his boyfriend would look like in
front of his real sight and that leads them to burst out laughing harder,
giggling uncontrollably into each other’s shoulder.
“Guk, you’re a natural born asshole, you know that?” Taehyung at last comments
once he manages to catch his breath.
Jeongguk wipes the tears leaking by the corner of his eyes, still mid wheezing
as he replies. “Maybe, but I must be the nicest asshole ‘cause I stand up for
justice.”
Taehyung breaks into another loud laughter, thinking what kind of ‘justice’
involved sabotaging a poor woman’s butt? He cups Jeongguk’s cheek, fondly
caressing the soft skin while still giggling.
“How could you be so precious, Jeon Jeongguk?”
Jeongguk flashes his sweet bunny grin, leaning into Taehyung’s touch.
“There, that smile looks nice on you,” he kisses his own thumb before pushing
it to the corner of Taehyung’s curvy smile. “You should keep it up even while
you’re worried.”
Taehyung instantly softens his expression, laughter gradually stops and eyes
study each part of Jeongguk’s face.
“Thank you, Gukkie.” At least now his baby is laughing and smiling again, a
sight he misses so much and never wants to take for granted. Jeongguk leans
forward to drop a kiss to his forehead, responding “anytime.”
Taehyung whines, taking the chance to be babied as he traps Jeongguk to him by
snaking his arms around his waist and hiding his face into his neck, nuzzling
his skin to get as much comfort as he can. Jeongguk sighs, fingers slip into
Taehyung’s hair to offer him the same.
“Taerie’s gonna be okay. I’m sure of it,” he tries to convince him.
“I just don’t want her to do something that would hurt herself,” Taehyung says
without leaning away, voice muffled against his throat.
“I know,” Jeongguk can only hold him tighter. “We’ll find it out and stop her
if she’s doing something she shouldn’t to, alright?”
That’s when the bus stops at the location they’re supposed to get down. They
continue their way hand in hand again after Taehyung pulls away with a nod at
him. The entrance of the orphanage already fills their sight when Jeongguk tugs
on their hands to stop, recognizing a person is walking out through the gate
and cornering to the direction opposite of them.
“Tae, look,” Taehyung looks up just in time to catch the back of his sister. He
lets out a tired sigh. “She’s heading somewhere. Come on.”
From the plan to confront her, it becomes a mission to silently follow after
her in order to know what she’s really up to. The most unexpected part is that
Jeongguk can feel his blood start to run cold when the path they’re taking
turns more and more familiar to him. And he’s right, Taerie walks straight into
the main entrance of Jeon Medical Center once she’s there.
“What…” His boyfriend mutters, utterly confused as he exchanges looks with
Jeongguk and he urges them to continue following before they lost her.
He seems calm from outside, yet internally, Jeongguk is screaming. He doesn’t
know why Taerie leads them here of all places and it flashes to him back of how
Taehyung has his blood record in this hospital, his suspicious connection with
his father and now that they’re following Taerie here, Jeongguk prays so hard
she won’t have anything to do with the already messy tangled webs between Dr.
Jeon, Taehyung and him.
His heart rate picks up once Taerie takes the path leading to his mother’s room
but when they reach a corner, Taerie passes straight along the room while
Jeongguk’s eyes are stuck on noticing a huge group of doctors entering exactly
his mother’s room.
“Tae—Tae, I’ll be back yeah? Keep following her,” Jeongguk stops Taehyung
midway from tracking behind Taerie. His boyfriend gives him a questioning look
but doesn’t have much time to answer as Taerie is vanishing from his sight. He
simply nods and turns around to go after her while Jeongguk backtracks to Mrs.
Jeon’s room. He bursts into it without hesitation, panic rising higher to his
chest because a group of doctors surrounding his mother can only be a bad sign,
and Jeongguk needs to know why.
“What is this all about?” He pants once he pushes himself inside, scanning
around with frantic eyes to see the doctors are just chatting and laughing with
his mother.
“Jeongguk, you’re here,” Mrs. Jeon beckons him to her. One of the doctors
quickly explains their presence there when Jeongguk hesitates to move around.
“We’re just congratulating Mrs. Jeon for finally found her donor. We’re making
sure she rest well for the upcoming transplant.”
Jeongguk’s eyes widen to maximum, mouth gapes open and heart almost jumps out
through his throat.
“You—you found her a donor already? A matching donor?”
The doctors grin, directing their proud look to Mrs. Jeon as well before they
nod. “Yes, we did.”
“Mom, thank god,” Jeongguk throws himself to Mrs. Jeon without a second
thought, embracing the lady tight to him while he feels tears bubbling in his
chest. Mrs. Jeon definitely cries, sobbing quietly on his shoulder as she
whispers to him. “I’ll heal, Jeongguk-ah. I’ll get better this time.”
Yes, this is what he’s been waiting his whole life. This is the ending his
mother deserves so much. Jeongguk just couldn’t describe his happiness at the
moment. That happiness, however, is short lived the moment his eyes land on the
bedside table and catch two files open so wide there. He recognizes it
instantly as Taehyung’s health record and another one is no doubt Taerie’s from
two passport sized pictures of the siblings attached to the pages.
Jeongguk freezes in her arms, couldn’t avert his eyes away until the nearest
doctor notices the abnormal intense look he’s giving those papers, she snaps it
close and picks them up, bringing it away from the room.
“Wait…wait!” Jeongguk stands up abruptly from the bed, couldn’t even reply his
mother when she’s calling after him as he’s more determined to follow the
doctor.
He missed the answer once. He’s not gonna miss it again this time. He doesn’t
expect it to be brought to another patient’s room but as the doctor disappears
into it, Jeongguk waits until the door is closed before he runs to read the
name labeled beside the door.
Kim Dohyeon.
Kim?
“He still doesn’t show any sign to wake up?” Jeongguk hears the voice of a
lady, suspecting it’s the doctor from before as he steps closer to the door to
listen better.
“It’s good his children fit enough to be Mrs. Jeon’s donor,” another voice
answers, a man this time.
Jeongguk frowns even harder, because the children of this patient are donors to
his mother? Then why doesn’t his father inform him anything about it? The next
question he hears, however, almost knocks Jeongguk off his feet.
“Which one? Kim Taehyung or Kim Taerie?”
“It’s supposed to be Kim Taehyung but for some reasons, Dr. Jeon chose his
sister.”
That’s why Taerie is here. That’s why they have their health records. And this
patient, the patient in the room, is Taehyung’s father? He’s kept here all this
time?
Jeongguk looks down to his hands, seeing them violently shaking as he tries to
steady his quickening breath and processing the sudden truth he just found out.
Taerie is his mother’s donor. Taehyung supposed to be one as well.
His father knows all of this. He’s behind them.
“What are you doing here?”
Jeongguk snaps to turn around so fast with his eyes bulging wide because he
knows who it is. It’s his father. Dr. Jeon who causes this whole mess. His
father is staring back and forth between Jeongguk and the door while his son
couldn’t even find the right word to begin.
“This man…is it true he is Taehyung’s father?” Jeongguk brings one shaky finger
to point at the door, preparing his heart for anything.
“How did you know Taehyung?” Dr. Jeon calmly asks him instead, avoiding his
question.
Jeongguk hisses, stepping close until he’s right in front of him, bombarding
Dr. Jeon with questions that he doesn’t even sure could possibly be true in
this situation.
“What happened to him, dad?” He’s still pointing to the room. “Why is he here?
What are you doing to Tae and his siblings? Is it…is it true Taerie will be
mom’s donor?”
Dr. Jeon doesn’t answer him for a long moment, driving Jeongguk to explode to
total madness until he shakes his head and turns around.
“This is not a talk we can have here. Let’s go to my office.”
===============================================================================
 
Meanwhile for Taehyung, as soon as Jeongguk left him to somewhere else, he
continues to trail after his sister until she enters a room without any label
on it. Taehyung stops, contemplating to meet her when he glances up again to
catch sight of a tall, handsome man he remembers meeting at Jeju before.
“Seokjin hyung?” The man makes his way into the same room as well, clearly will
be meeting his sister so Taehyung decides to interrupt, couldn’t hold back the
questions flooding his mind anymore.
He parts the door slowly before sticking his head inside to see Seokjin and
Taerie are standing around a table. There’s what seemingly like a set of files
placed on it in between them with his sister holding a pen, bending down in a
position ready to sign something upon the papers.
She doesn’t manage to do so, however, when Seokjin snatches the documents away,
gathering them closer to his side. Taerie groans to him.
“What the hell are you doing? I agree to do this, okay? I volunteer for it. Now
give me that back!” She tries to pull the papers back to her but Seokjin’s long
arm easily halts her by the shoulder, earning another grunt.
“I can’t. I can’t allow you do this for money. I can’t even allow an underage
being a donor without a parent or guardian’s consent.”
Taerie laughs humorlessly to herself. “I have no parents so I can decide on
what to do with myself!”
“You have a parent, Taerie. He’s just not awake yet to give this consent,”
Seokjin tells, and both siblings freeze on their respective spot.
“What?”
Only then Taehyung announces his presence, stepping up to the table to reveal
himself while Seokjin eyes him warily while Taerie narrows her eyes. “Oppa?”
But Taehyung ignores him, turning to face Seokjin instead since he couldn’t
quite understand what he just said to Taerie.
“What did you say?” He asks out loud, feeling desperation begin to pile up in
him to learn all the truth happening behind him from the moment his sister is
here.
Seokjin remains calm. “How did you get here?”
“Did you follow me?” Taerie cuts in. “Oppa, I—”
“I need to know what you’re doing, Taerie. I’m worried,” Taehyung spits at her,
eyes bloodshot and firm for the first time since he’s been patient for so long
with her attitude. When it does keep her shut, Taehyung points down to the
documents, asking again. “And what is this all about?”
She jerks forward to prevent him from seeing it. “Oppa, don’t—”
“I have the right to know! I’m your brother!” Taehyung finally snaps, the
piling depression he’s holding back this whole time coming out with a loud
burst now. Taerie can only stare at him, losing words of what to say as well.
Then Seokjin interjects.
“That’s approval contract for a donor. She’s signing up to donate her blood and
bone marrow for some amount of money.”
Taehyung throws his disbelief look at Seokjin. “Wh—what? To who?”
The PA looks like it kills him to say it but after a heavy sigh, he locks his
eyes firm with Taehyung, as if for him to see he’s about to break something big
to Taehyung.
“Mrs. Jeon, Jeongguk’s mother.”
He does break something, but not just the news, maybe Taehyung’s heart too.
Taerie couldn’t believe it as well, gasping because she only knows it now of
who will be the recipient to her blood. She shakes her head frantically,
stepping close to Seokjin to shake the man by his arm into telling them the
truth.
“But what do you mean we still have our parent? He’s long gone, he cannot—”
“He is only here, in this hospital,” Seokjin informs weakly, eyes falling on
Taehyung who has gone dead quiet by now, gaze unfocused around the room.
Seokjin puts a hand on his shoulder to ground him, directing the boy to look at
him again.
“Taehyung, I know that’s a lot to take in but I need both of you to sit down
and listen to me carefully, okay?”
Taehyung doesn’t, none of the siblings does since they’re too taken aback by
what they just learned, don’t sure what else they need to know. But with
Seokjin’s guide, they both manage to have a seat each and Seokjin’s the last
one sitting opposite of them to start revealing the entire truth. He begins by
staring on Taehyung.
“Everything’s planned, Taehyung. Right from the moment Dr. Jeon came to find
you at the club, up to this time where he offered your sister some money in
exchange of her blood to save his wife.”
He doesn’t say anything for a while, opening and closing his mouth as if lost
of his own words until Taehyung briefly closes his eyes.
“How did he know I was there? How did he know my father?” He refers to how Dr.
Jeon found him at the club, kept his father around for so long but never even
once intended to tell anything to Taehyung.
“I’m not sure how he met your father. I only knew about him when Dr. Jeon said
he found one matching donor for her wife.”
“Our dad?” Taerie guesses to which Taehyung feels knives slicing deeper in his
chest at Seokjin’s meek nod.
“But there’s still one problem. Your father is in coma state, he couldn’t
undergo any transplant since he’s healing too.”
Taehyung balls his palms into tight fists, reminding himself to keep his
emotions in control. “Why is he comatose? What happened to him?”
“Dr. Jeon never tells me much. He just ordered me to search everything about
your father and that led him to your grandma. That’s why he encouraged Mrs.
Jeon to volunteer there, so when she got close to your grandma, we slowly found
out about you and your siblings.”
How dare he? How fucking dare he using his whole family this way—
“But Dr. Jeon still needed to make sure both of you have the same blood type as
Mrs. Jeon and your father so he—”
“He brought me to another hospital to get a free checkup when I had a cold.
Said he would pay everything for me. And then took my blood for a test,”
Taehyung finishes it for him, vividly recalling it now when there was once time
Dr. Jeon insisted to bring Taehyung for a checkup during his cold even after he
convinced the other it was just a normal fever. The checkup procedure had been
odd the entire time but Taehyung never made effort to connect the dots until
now.
It all makes sense. He almost laughs in disbelief.
“Yes, he wanted a confirmation that you’d be suit enough for Mrs. Jeon.”
Taehyung glares over at Seokjin. “Then when he knew I suited, why didn’t he
offer me the same way he offered my sister?”
Seokjin stares at him as if he’s helpless and pitiful. Taehyung hates such look
the most.
“Because you’re older and smarter, you would be questioning this and that about
the official approval and consent to be a donor. Dr. Jeon is running out of
time, he doesn’t want to break it to you that your parent is unable to wake up,
let alone speak. So he moves to her,” Seokjin juts his chin to Taerie who
already has her face buried in her palms, hiding her tension in there. “You
just happened to agree because you’re desperate for money. A naïve girl with
unstable mind, just what Dr. Jeon is looking for.”
When Taerie removes her hands, tears already lining down both of her cheeks.
She asks him quietly. “Then how about our mother? Do you know where she is?”
Seokjin looks away, debating with himself as if the matter with their mother is
even more difficult to be told.
“I’m so sorry but,” even his own voice is cracking a bit. “As far as I managed
to find out, your mother’s dead. The same time your father started to become
comatose.”
Taehyung has never felt more broken than he already does. He knows for a fact
they were the one choosing to leave him, to leave his other siblings and his
grandma as well. But no matter what was their reason, Taehyung doesn’t think
his parents deserve all this. He doesn’t even think he deserves to be played
this way, to only know about his parents now when he could have been together
with them in the moment they needed him and the rest of his siblings the most.
Taehyung just can’t accept this.
His chest feels too tight on his body, threatening to burst out with so many
blades stuck in there. His breath stutters each passing second, closing his
windpipe as if he’s just choked by his own life. His mind is a jumbled up
container of so many dark thoughts, pushing Taehyung past his rationality and
dragging him entirely to the ground.
Down and deeper.
Taehyung is falling and breaking and there’s no one this time to catch. No one
could even do that.
He breaks into uncontrollable sobbing, whole body shaking from the force and
head slumping down to the edge of the table, crying his heart out. Crying the
sadness and confusion he’s been holding back for five years already. Crying
because he didn’t know the truth this whole time and once he knows, it feels
like it’s way better for him to never know.
Because it fucking hurts. Hurts. A lot.
“So Dr. Jeon keeps him here? In this hospital? After all this time?” Taehyung
bombards the questions to Seokjin, looking up at him through his drenched out
eyes. “He knew my mom’s dead and my dad is like that and he still has the gut
to carry on with his plan? Using me? Using my sister?”
He grows fierce, sadness turns into anger now as he begins to rise from his
chair. Seokjin stares apologetically at him.
“I’m so sorry, Taehyung. That’s why I’m telling you all this now, I need to
stop you—”
“Why didn’t you tell Jeongguk as well?! You know we’re together! You met us—”
He swallows his own sob, whimpering harder now as he remembers Jeongguk. His
sweet, sweet boyfriend, son of the man who uses his family like a fucking toy.
He collapses down to the floor, wailing his heart out while clenching his chest
because everything in his life is just pure cruel. He’s hurting so much. “You
idiot, I love him so much! But his father is doing this to me? To my whole
fucking family?”
Taerie slips down from her chair to him, gathering him into her arms as she
shares her tears with him as well.
“I’m very sorry, Taehyung,” maybe Seokjin is crying too from his cracking
voice, but Taehyung doesn’t look to confirm it, simply burying his head on
Taerie’s shoulder to continue bawling his eyes out.
“If only I could stop this right from the start, I would. I’m sorry, to you and
your family. To Jeongguk as well,” Seokjin apologizes again but Taehyung sees
no stopping to it.
He’s falling without Jeongguk down there.
He will be alone.
Jeongguk too.
===============================================================================
 
Jeongguk can’t believe the story.
He can’t believe even a single detail his father is telling him now.
He’s hurt Taehyung. But now hearing this straight from his father makes
Jeongguk feel like he’s not just hurting him, he’s destroying the other boy.
Destroying his own sweetheart, his precious person and he can’t take anymore of
this.
Amidst the shakiness of his body, he plants a deadly look on Dr. Jeon.
“So his mom is dead and you keep his dad here? All the while you see him
working like a slave in that club?”
Dr. Jeon doesn’t even look like he’s feeling guilty. He regards Jeongguk
indifferently and Jeongguk wants so much to land his punch on him. “I have no
choice, Jeongguk. His father still doesn’t wake up and your mother is running
out of time. I’m doing everything I can to save her.”
Jeongguk scoffs, utterly disgusted by his reason. “By using innocent kids? Dad,
they don’t know anything about their parents! They don’t know you keep one of
them here and they don’t even know what they’re forced to do is wrong!”
He’s past the point of being rational, because there’s nothing rational in this
plan. Jeongguk couldn’t stop himself from yelling out every single frustration
mounting up and burning volcano in him. He’s even madder when Dr. Jeon keeps
silent, treating him like he’s just a child whining about losing his toy.
“Dad, you know it’s illegal! You have literally no right to make any of the
siblings as mom’s donor because you have no consent from their parents! And you
know it’s impossible to get it, their father is coma!”
Dr. Jeon finally glares at him. “That’s why I’m doing it this way, Jeongguk!
Don’t you understand it? Your mother literally has less than three months and
we couldn’t wait until he wakes up to give consent!”
“Then find another donor! Dad, we’re rich. We can go anywhere else around the
world to save mom through the right way. This is not the only way.”
His father slams his body back to his leather chair, lifting his hands up
before him like he just heard the stupidest suggestion from Jeongguk. He
narrows his eyes at his son.
“Two out of ten. Two out of ten from the world’s population have the matching
blood with your mom, Jeongguk. Even you, as her own son, doesn’t match her. How
do you expect me to search the world within three months?” Jeongguk’s raging
breath stuttering a bit. “I may comeback with a donor and a legal consent, but
your mother will be gone by then.”
No, no way.
“Do you want that, Jeongguk? Do you want your mother to die?”
“Shut up!” Jeongguk launches forward to slam his palms upon the office table,
eyes eating his father alive while Dr. Jeon scoffs.  “Then why are you so
against this?”
Jeongguk feels his fists tighten, knowing the answer like a thousand rocks in
his heart.
“Because Taehyung’s my boyfriend. I love him, love him way before I knew all
this, love him the most,” his eyes turn cloudy upon his admission because only
once he’s said it out loud that he realizes how fucked up the situation is in
between them. “And once he knows all this, he won’t trust me anymore. He’ll
leave me, dad. I couldn’t live with that.”
Jeongguk looks away, blinking his eyes as more tears forcing to flow out,
thinking about the boy he wants so bad to protect but in the end, he’s the one
being the indirect torture to him.
“Sorry, I didn’t know,” Dr. Jeon sounds far from being sorry. “But you have to
choose. Saving your mom or keeping that puppy love of yours.”
Those are not even choices. Those are Jeongguk’s death, one way or another.
He shakes his head and his first tear drops.
“You’re only 17, Jeongguk. You bound to lose things,” his father tells him, sad
and distant. “But I hope it’s not your mother.”
***** More than Waking Up *****
Chapter Notes
     Hoseok in this chap is 102% looks like him in House of Army. Flower
     pin and all. This is important, please take note. :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
He doesn’t know how long he’s been standing on the sidewalk, just trying to
take comfort from the night breeze, but instead of feeling the flame burn out,
it ignites brighter. Hotter, heavier, here in his chest.
As he looks around, he can see the world is alive. People are walking, cars are
moving, even trees are livelier than him as they sway to the blowing wind. So
why is he still alone? Why is he the only one watching while the others are
moving forward, why the others are leaving him with this gigantic bag of
miseries he’s carrying on his shoulders? The world is alive while he’s dead.
That’s how it is now. That’s how it’s unfair.
“Tae…” His name is called from behind. He turns around just in time Jeongguk
halts his steps by the hospital entrance, fists clutched to his sides and face
a thousand of guilt all in one somber look.
The fire bursts. Taehyung hates that look he’s receiving. He hates all of this
and he hates him.
“Tae, what are you—calm down—” Before he even registers it, he’s launching
himself to the other, running towards him so fast that Jeongguk is forced to
reverse back to prevent them for colliding but that’s just what Taehyung’s
doing. He gets as close as he can to him, grabs his collar and drags Jeongguk
until he can slam him against the nearest wall.
Jeongguk grunts, eyes falling shut tight to the physical pain but Taehyung’s
sure, it’s nothing compared to these bleeding wounds all over his heart. He
doesn’t wait for Jeongguk to breathe, immediately leans his head in so he can
speak straight to his face, slow but frustrated.
“Tell me, Jeon Jeongguk. Why did your father do this to me? Why me? Why is he
giving me so many reasons to hate you, to hate your family, why?”
Jeongguk exhales harshly, gripping his elbows to try loosening the hands
fisting his collar but Taehyung simply holds tighter. He winces. “I don’t—”
Taehyung doesn’t want to hear his excuses.
“To meet my parents again is one of the reasons that keep me alive, you know,”
he holds on Jeongguk’s glassy eyes when they meet his. “We used to be happy…so
happy, me and my family. My dad, he taught me everything I knew…”
 
And suddenly he’s not there anymore. Image of Jeongguk in front of him is
dissolving into a completely different place and Taehyung scans around to see
the house he used to grow up in, with every frame and furniture still at their
exact place. When he looks ahead through a window, he sees a tiny five-year-old
Kim Taehyung sitting alone at the patio outside, his favorite fluffy elephant
toy in his arms and a sulky pout on his face. Taehyung unknowingly smiles
because that was him.
A man walked through Taehyung, startling him a bit of how transparent he was
for the man to easily get through him, like he didn’t even exist there. Before
he could open his mouth to ask, he too disappeared out to the patio and sat
down next to tiny Taehyung.
“Do you have to go?” Taehyung peeked up through his clumpy eyelashes, wet from
the tears he cried a few minutes before. His daddy, Mr. Kim, grinned at him
before he pulled the boy closer to his side, hugging him securely.
“Baby bear, do you remember how you cried and screamed and threw tantrum at the
mall because you wanted to buy this elephant?” Mr. Kim flicked the nose of his
dearest plushy, causing Taehyung to whine and wipe his tiny palm to that spot
he deemed Mr. Trunk was hurt.
“You did it all because you really, really wanted this plushy right? You wanted
it badly that you even said you’d sleep in the mall if we didn’t buy it for
you?” Taehyung’s pout only grew bigger, because it wasn’t his fault! Mr. Trunk
really wanted to be his friend so he can’t just leave him alone there at the
mall! His daddy and mama were just too idiot to understand it, Taehyung thought
sourly. Mr. Kim laughed again staring down at his expression.
“That’s the same thing for me,” but he took his time to patiently explain at
him, for Taehyung to understand why he needed to leave. “I want to paint so
much. I want to have my own painting studio and I want to be a famous painter
so badly. And to be that, I have to move to Seoul. Because it’s what I desire,
it’s my dream.”
Taehyung blinked up at him through his big eyes. “But what’s a dream? What’s a
painter?”
“A dream is…a desire or a wish that you keep in your heart but you plan for
ways to achieve it in your head. Then, you work day by day in your life to make
your dream a reality,” Taehyung listened while his gaze followed the gesture of
Mr. Kim’s hand as he moved it from tapping his chest to patting his hair.
“That’s why, to make my dream come true, I need to move to Seoul. Do you
understand that?”
Taehyung considered the matter, he really did, but the explanation somehow
still made no real sense to him. Can’t his daddy just achieve his dream from
here in Daegu with him? Why did he have to leave to do that?
“And as for a painter, let me show you what it is,” but Mr. Kim pulled his
attention back on him by digging out a small notebook and a pencil from his
pocket. Taehyung watched as he flipped it open to the first page and started to
draw something across it. Once he finished, Mr. Kim placed the book open on his
lap. Taehyung gasped.
“It’s my Mr.Trunk!” He shrieked excitedly while squishing the elephant in his
hands, fascinated to see another Mr. Trunk drawn on the paper.
“Yes, yes it is,” His daddy laughed, smoothing Taehyung’s messy fringes by
pushing it back off his forehead. “This is what a painter does, they transform
an object into a picture on a paper.”
“That’s really cool! Your dream is so cool, daddy!”
“Thank you, baby bear,” Taehyung giggled when he felt a kiss was dropped to his
forehead. “So now you’ll let me move to Seoul?”
He flashed up his weird, boxy grin up to his father, two front teeth were
missing but still managed to make Mr. Kim coo at him. “Yesh! I’ll become a
painter too, so when I grow up, I can live with you in Seoul!”
“That’s very good, Taetae. I’ll wait for you, okay?” Mr. Kim agreed, sticking
out his pinky to seal their promise in which Taehyung eagerly linked his side
of promise with his own little finger. “But in the meantime, you need to
practice to be good in painting. Here, I’ll give you this book.”
His father then picked the notebook earlier up from his lap and clamped it
together with his pencil inside of Taehyung’s hand.
“Draw one picture a day and until you’ve completed this whole book, tell me.
I’ll bring you a gift from Seoul and come back for a visit. Deal?”
Taehyung giggled, his mood back to feeling fine again. “Em! Deal!”
“I love you, baby bear,” Mr. Kim whispered to him when Taehyung laughed as he
was scooped up into his daddy’s arms, his father nuzzling into his neck just to
tease how ticklish Taehyung was. “I’ll miss you all the time in Seoul.”
Taehyung will miss his daddy too, but he knew he just needed to be a good
painter to follow his father to Seoul.
And they kept their promise to each other. Taehyung grew excellent in drawing
while his father came back each time with an art piece of his own to present it
to his son. Taehyung treasured each of them, framing the paintings and hanging
them inside his room like a mini gallery, the proof to the promise Mr. Kim made
to him. He was so happy, there was nothing more exciting and thrilling than
waiting for the next piece brought back by Mr. Kim for him.
Taehyung grew up happy, truly.
Until, it all ended.
“Misuk-ah, what happened?” The night started with a loud crash from the front
door before Taehyung heard his grandma’s frantic voice, asking his mother so.
His mother? His mother shouldn’t be here in Daegu unless she came back with his
father?
Taehyung was all too giddy, dumping the crayons he was in the middle of holding
down to his drawing block before he raced his eleven-year-old sister to the
living room, both were expecting to welcome their parents home. Instead, their
steps came to gradual stop once the sight meeting them was their mother sitting
on the floor, crying her heart out and hugging her knees to her chest. Taehyung
looked up to his grandma only to feel even more bizarre of a very small baby
cradled in her arms.
“Who—whose child is this?” His grandma asked the exact first question that
popped up in Taehyung’s head, eyes now blinking upon his mother in search of
explanation and answer.
But Mrs. Kim only shook her head. “He’s left.”
“Who?” His grandma questioned, sounded more confused than ever.
Taerie tried to step up to her crying figure. “Mama…you okay—”
“Didn’t you hear me?! He’s left! Your dad! He left me! He left me! He left us
all!” Mrs. Kim burst out, causing Taerie to flinch away from her while Taehyung
stood motionless there, trying to digest her words.
Trying to let it sink, that his father had left them.
He can’t believe it, that wasn’t true.
His grandma rushed to Mrs. Kim’s side. “God, how did it happen? What happened
between you and Dohyeon actually?”
Nobody knew the answer. Ever since that night, Taehyung’s head was flooded with
these endless questions. He wanted to ask it all to his mother but she never
talked to him anymore. She never talked to anyone, in fact. Her daily routine
was woken up, got drunk on beers, cried her heart out and then went to sleep in
her own sadness. They tried to help, seeking help from the doctor but his
mother always reasoned she was fine. She just needed time to be alone.
And while she was using the time to isolate herself, the rest of them had to
take care of the unknown baby shoved in his grandma’s arms out of the blue.
“Grandma, who is he?” Taerie asked one evening when they were out at the patio,
Taehyung was drawing them in his sketchbook while his grandma was lulling the
baby to sleep. He couldn’t stop crying today until Taehyung cradled him and
brought him out for fresh air.
Maybe he was just as intense as the whole household.
Taehyung glanced over at them upon his grandma’s heavy sigh. “I don’t know…”
“He has mama’s eyes,” the way Taerie said it was so offhanded, but Taehyung
also only seemed to notice it now. Raising the sketchbook higher to his face,
he stared long enough upon the portrait of that baby and then he clearly saw
it. It was true, the baby resembled his mother a lot but he had none close to
Taehyung, Taerie or their father’s face. Was he his younger brother? Who was he
actually?
Taehyung got the answer in the next morning, where he woke up to his grandma
panicking about calling the police to his mother’s abrupt absence. Somehow,
Taehyung was the most calm. He wasn’t sure if he had lost this ability to feel
surprised or he just always predicted Mrs. Kim would be leaving them sooner or
later, because she never spoke to him anymore. Why would she want to stay
living like that?
So in the midst of his sister crying with the baby in her lap and his grandma
fussing about this and that, Taehyung got into Mrs. Kim’s messy bedroom to find
the letter she wrote explaining her departure. As if that could cover of what a
failure as a mother she was.
To my loves; Taehyung and Taerie,
I’m sorry I couldn’t explain everything to you. I have to leave to find your
father. I’ve made a terrible mistake to him and now it’s time for me to find
him back. To apologize for the things I’ve done to him. I promise to bring him
back with me and make everything right again. But until then, please take care
of the baby. He’s your youngest brother. He still doesn’t have a name. I
couldn’t think of one so can you please? Help me find one for him? And please,
Taehyung, look after your siblings. Take care of Taerie and the baby. Love them
both equally. I’ll be back with your father, soon.
-Mama
Taehyung was fourteen when he found the letter. Taehyung was fourteen when he
was left with those burdens and responsibilities.
On the day his grandma was out looking for a place to be hired, Taehyung roamed
around the town with just the two of them—the baby and himself. He was supposed
to get his name registered today but he just can’t come up with anything.
His mind was nothing more than a blank white sheet.
Tired, he sat them down on a bench and played with the baby’s pink tiny cheeks,
smiling to himself each time the baby stared and blinked back at him through
his big, round eyes. He was so cute.
“Don’t you think you look like a lost puppy? Left alone by yourself…” Taehyung
mused, moving his fingertip along the curve of his mini nose bridge before he
stopped by his cupid’s bow.
“Puppy…” He tasted the sound on his mouth. And then, he was rushing to the
office.
“Kim…Kim Puppy?” Taehyung struggled to balance the baby in his arms all the
while trying to walk himself to the registration counter.
“That’s by me,” he announced proudly once he stood there. The man behind it
gave him a deep frown. “Are you sure this is the name, kid?”
“201% sure,” Taehyung grinned, looking down at where Puppy is sleeping against
his chest. “He’s so cute. He needs to be protected. He’s my Puppy.”
His Puppy. His younger brother. Their youngest sibling.
Taehyung swore from that day onward, nobody will keep them apart. They were a
family and he wasn’t going to lose anyone again. Taehyung was going to do his
best to look after everyone until the day their parents would be back.
 
“Please don’t blame Jeongguk, Taehyung,” he’s pulled back by a firm hand placed
on his shoulder, yanking Taehyung not just out of his memories, but also his
consuming thoughts of Jeongguk. “I swear, he knows nothing about this. The only
people behind this matter all this time are Dr. Jeon and me. Jeongguk isn’t at
fault.”
Taehyung doesn’t turn to face Seokjin as he listens to it all, images of him
lashing out on Jeongguk slowly disappearing away from his mind. As if he could
keep his anger for so long, that’s never a strong feeling he has when it comes
to Jeongguk. The boy’s his greatest weakness which is ultimately dangerous if
it’s known by anyone.
“I can’t blame him even if my mind told me to,” Taehyung says through a sigh.
“His father fucked me up so badly, but I love him way more than that. I love
him devastatingly.”
He recalls how they met, the journey that has led them here. Life could give
him any other better options but a part of Taehyung always knows, he will still
keep running back to the path down to Jeongguk. He’s where his heart is at.
“What I feel about Jeongguk, it’s terrible,” Taehyung admits it out loud.
Terrible because Jeongguk is the most wonderful but painful thing that ever
happens to him. He’s like a beautiful disaster in his life. Taehyung never knew
he would have this strong feeling for someone as young as nineteen years old.
It seems absurd, it sounds absurd. But it’s true.
The truest feeling he’s ever felt.
Seokjin makes no further comment to it, opening the back door of his car once
the valet attendant arrives to hand him the key. Taehyung finally turns around
to see Taerie walking up to him, eyes still red and swollen from crying so hard
before.
“Kiss Puppy for me, tell him I miss him so much,” Taehyung tries to smile,
doesn’t want to inflict further pain upon his sister after what she’s heard
about their parents today. “And I love you too, so take care of yourself.”
“You’re not gonna make them use us just like that, are you?”
“I’ll find a way to stop this madness. Just stay strong for me, yeah?” Her eyes
begin to crystalize with tears again but she stops it by nodding and leaning
forward to hug Taehyung.
“I love you,” she says back into his chest, Taehyung patting her back before
she lets go and steps into the car waiting before them. Seokjin closes it while
sneaking a wary glance on Taehyung.
“Would you forgive me?”
“I don’t want to,” Taehyung answers honestly, tired of beating around bushes.
“But I saw how you stopped my sister before she signed the consent so I know,
you’re not completely heartless as they want you to be.”
He drags his blank stare up to where Seokjin is frowning.
“Just keep your promise to let my siblings and I meet our father. Then only
I’ll learn to forgive you.”
Seokjin stares back at him for a long time before he nods and moves to get into
the driver side.
“Okay, I’ll find a suitable time.” With that, Taehyung is left alone again,
drowning in his thoughts that are too heavy and monstrous for his tiny body.
===============================================================================
 
   1. Jeon Hannie
   2. Kim Taehyung
Jeongguk’s got only two options.
   1. Jeon Hannie
   2. Kim Taehyung
No. That’s not how it supposes to be.
   1. Jeon Hannie
   2. Kim Taehyung
This is just pure fucked up. Jeongguk wants to die instead.
   1. Jeon Hannie and Kim Taehyung
Correct. That’s how it should be. That’s how it is.
But how? How can he tell Taehyung ‘hey, this is kinda complicated but I need
your sister’s blood to save my mom and btw, your dad’s coma. Here, all the time
in my dad’s hospital. Haha.’ How can he do that?
Taehyung has bared his all to him. The story of his family, his dream, his fear
and struggles and he’s even forgave him for a mistake Jeongguk committed to
him. He shows him nothing but understanding, acceptance and forgiveness. He
gives his love to Jeongguk. Taehyung’s chosen him, him, out of all other people
who are way more deserving of Taehyung’s kindness and heart so when their life
turns out to be this, their life turns out to be this miserable web, Jeongguk’s
questioning his worth in Taehyung’s life.
Every human has a limit. How far can you go to abuse someone’s faith and
generosity for your own benefit? This is what Jeongguk keeps on asking himself.
This is what he really wants the answer from his father because right from the
moment he started to seek out for Taehyung to complete his plan, haven’t he
thought, even for a second, of how this could affect the Kim siblings in their
future later?
Sure, Taerie could just sign the consent and be a donor. Sure, she’ll just take
the money for Taehyung and his mother will be saved but does money really
something worth enough to be compared with the well-being of her father? Is
money really a sacrifice worth giving when in the end she still knows nothing
about her dead mother?
To Jeongguk, the money doesn’t worth it no matter the amount. Money could never
replace their parents, and money definitely couldn’t repay the years Taehyung
spent sacrificing himself for his siblings.
The illegal consent is just pure cruel.
Jeongguk could never and will never do that to Taehyung.
He doesn’t know how deep in the mess his mind is until Jeongguk stops walking
to find himself standing right before the room labeled Kim Dohyeon.
This is the man Taehyung’s be waiting for. This is his father, the man he
misses, the man he works hard for. Jeongguk couldn’t yet bring Taehyung to him
but he still deems he owes him an apology. It’s the least he can do, if
anything, to lessen this brutal guilt Jeongguk’s carrying in his heart, hanging
in his brain and burdening over his back.
Taking another step forward, he throw a quick glance to his left and right,
before Jeongguk reaches for the handle and slides the door open. The room is
all white and quiet identical to his mother’s room, no sight of any nurses or
doctors inside, not even a vase of flower decorated on the side table as it
shows a clear sign to Jeongguk how this man never had real visitor before. A
bit of his heart cracks some more before at last, his eyes fall upon the
curtains surrounding the bed with outline of a body visible through it.
Jeongguk swallows, gathering the remaining strength in him to do this, and
takes hold on the lapel of the curtain to slowly pull it apart. It’s almost
like watching a person in a deep sleep once Jeongguk focuses his attention upon
the body in front of him and sees the face of Taehyung’s father for the first
time.
He has long lashes, draping down from his eyelids to touch the thin skin of his
cheeks, just like Taehyung. His skin is a whole beautiful layer of dark brown,
just like Taehyung too. And when Jeongguk travels his eyes down to his clasped
hands on his stomach, Jeongguk can confirm this man is his boyfriend’s father.
Because the slim shape and long length of his fingers are definitely the same
like Taehyung, they’re the hands of an artist, he created arts with it.
Jeongguk looks back to his face, still peacefully sleeping and he loses all the
words he wanted to say out of a sudden. Seeing him motionless like this makes
Jeongguk wonder if he can still hear him talking. He hopes he can because god
knows how Jeongguk would never able to say it all out if the man in front of
him is awake and healthy. Jeongguk would be as useless as a statue if that’s
the case now.
But Mr. Kim is quiet, eyes close and face open so Jeongguk gathers his chance.
“Hello, Mr. Kim. I’m…I’m Jeon Jeongguk, I—” he clears his throat, doesn’t quite
understand why he can’t speak properly even in front of a comatose man. He
decides to be honest. “I’m just a boy who supposed to hate your son but now I…I
love him more than my life and I’m sorry.”
The longer Jeongguk stares on the lifeless man, the more he sees Taehyung in
him and he’s quick to swallow back his tears, growing emotional as he imagines
how it would feel to meet someone he loves again after years in a state as
helpless as this.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m really sorry, I’m very sorry, I—” the air is
thickening, causing it hard for Jeongguk to breathe. “I don’t deserve your son,
I don’t deserve his forgiveness, or his kindness or even his love but I…I want
it all.”
He sees Taehyung’s smile, he hears his addictive laughter, he smells the soft
aura Taehyung always has around him, he feels his gentle warmth each time he
holds the other boy and he tastes all his sweetest kisses. They’re all like one
unforgiving drug to him, Jeongguk can’t let him go no matter what. So he tells
Mr. Kim just that, he admits his greed to him.
“I still want it all. I’m selfish, aren’t I? Just like that bastard. Just like
my father.”
Thinking of Dr. Jeon, Jeongguk couldn’t hold it back and he allows it when
tears after tears spilling down his cheeks.
“And because I’m selfish, I want my mother to be alive. I want her to have a
donor, I want her to heal so what should I do? What should I do?” He questions
the man, growing more frustrated than ever when only silence replies him. Mr.
Kim remains still, eyes and lips shut tight.
Jeongguk walks forward some more until he can take his hand into his palms and
give it a gentle shake.
“Mr. Kim, can you please wake up? There’s a thing that only you know the answer
so I need you to wake up for me, for your children. Please…” but of course, his
plea is proved to be futile because there’s no way he can wake up a comatose
man while he clearly still isn’t ready to be alive again.
He clutches his hand tighter, hanging his head low and releasing his pain
through the tears that shake his whole body. Fear of losing his mother, fear of
losing Taehyung, fear of being left alone and vulnerable like he once felt
before he met him were all too consuming in the tight space Jeongguk has in his
head. He isn’t afraid to admit he’s a fighter, he will try to fix all this with
his hands, with his own capability. But how can he fight when Jeongguk can’t
see the way, when he is in the middle of a dark, thick maze? Make one wrong
turn and Jeongguk can be lost, forever. It’s scary. It’s all too haunting until
the least he can do is cry. Crying because he’s been strong for so long, crying
because no matter how tight he tries to hold on, the world always has its way
to take every precious thing in his life away from him. Jeongguk is just so
tired.
He has no idea how long he’s crying there but once he’s made sure Mr. Kim is
safely tucked under the blanket, he bids his goodbye to him and rushes to the
nearest restroom to wash his face, wiping away the tears and covering up the
sadness because it’s time to face Taehyung again.
It’s time to be there for him, to be strong for him.
“Tae!” He calls out in relief once he sees him waiting right out at the main
entrance of the hospital after he’s ran around and couldn’t find Taehyung where
he last left him. It’s been hours since then, he’s about to question why
Taehyung doesn’t try to contact him but once his boyfriend pivots with a slow
turn to face him, Jeongguk is instantly taken aback to meet a vibrant weakness
on Taehyung’s face. His beautiful eyes are red and bloated, his lips turn
downward and his skinny frame looks like a thousand of cracked glasses being
forced to stay glued together. He looks like he can break at any minute now so
with frantic heart, Jeongguk rushes over to cup his face in the safety of his
palms and pulls his body closer to him.
“Where’s Taerie? Are you okay? Why your eyes are swollen? Have you been
crying?” He rushes to ask as his eyes roam all over Taehyung to detect any
physical pain that could probably hurt his sweetheart. Taehyung doesn’t
immediately respond, reaching up instead to hold his face by both sides of his
jaw and leaning to nuzzle their noses together in attempt to calm him.
“I’m okay, Jeongguk. Cool it. I sent her away by taxi just now,” Taehyung
smiles but Jeongguk can see how forceful it is, unlike the gorgeous, radiant
smile Taehyung likes to give him. Taehyung leaves a peck on his lips when he in
return notices how uncertain Jeongguk is, softly explaining the matter to him.
“I cried because I was so worried about Taerie, thought she was sick or
something because she came here.”
Jeongguk swallows the huge, bitter bile in his throat, isn’t sure if Taerie’s
lying to Taehyung.
And if he should take this time to tell Taehyung the truth of what’s happening
to his sister.
“Then? Is she okay?” Jeongguk chooses to analyze the matter first.
Taehyung’s slow to nod. “She’s fine, just picking up some medicines.”
“Did she tell you yet about what she did to gain money?”
The question slips and Jeongguk feels the gradual escalation of his heartbeat
the longer Taehyung keeps himself quiet. Clearly there’s something big
bothering the older boy when he avoids Jeongguk’s eyes and stares down to his
collarbone instead. Jeongguk is desperate to know but he’s also contemplating
to reveal the truth about Dr. Jeon to his boyfriend. He’s afraid of his
reaction, he’s afraid of how would Taehyung accept this mess and he’s most
afraid if this would be the last time he’s allowed to hold Taehyung in his arms
before the other learns everything and decides Jeongguk isn’t someone he should
be with. Because he’s a traitor, his father keeps someone so important to
Taehyung behind him all this time and now, no forgiveness is deemed enough for
Jeongguk or his father.
It’s the worst, but Taehyung needs someone to be honest and tell him everything
instead of leaving him not knowing. So with a deep breath, Jeongguk opens his
mouth and Taehyung stares up to him.
“Can you send me back? I’m tired,” it’s a request that leaves Jeongguk without
words.
Of all the things he can say to him, Taehyung chooses that, causing all
admission die at the tip of Jeongguk’s tongue. He filters the situation one
more time, studying how Taehyung looks like he pleads Jeongguk to stop the
conversation now and how he feels Taehyung is pliant and fragile under his
touch, like he really, really has no energy left for something as shocking as
the matter regarding to Dr. Jeon and his family.
So Jeongguk gives in, deciding to open up about the matter during another
suitable time, when Taehyung doesn’t look so worn out. He drops a kiss on his
cheek and lets Taehyung go to fish out for his phone.
“Let me just call a cab—”
“Can we walk? Can you walk me there?” But Taehyung’s gripping his wrist before
he can do so, eyes once again pleading Jeongguk to listen to everything that he
needs but Jeongguk isn’t one to deny him of anything.
He smiles and simply takes Taehyung’s hand into his, turning to lead him out
and hit the main road that directs them back to the club. They walk in silence,
Taehyung pressing his body entirely up to Jeongguk’s side and linking his other
free hand around his elbow to be as close as possible to him. Jeongguk
understands the need because when they turn to exchange small smiles to each
other, he ducks down to press his lips against the tender skin of Taehyung’s
temple, which has his boyfriend pressing back just as tight.
But there’s obviously something different about Taehyung compares to him before
they went to the hospital. He doesn’t just shut himself in quietness, he also
seems very distant from Jeongguk even though he’s just next to him. Jeongguk’s
endlessly scared so with a gentle pull, he untangles their hands and crouches
down in front of Taehyung, back to his older boyfriend.
“What are you doing?”
“Go on, climb up. You look like you’re about to collapse,” Jeongguk says
without glancing back at Taehyung.
“I’m heavy.”
“Yeah, but my love for you is heavier so get on me.”
It is met with draggy silence for a while until Jeongguk’s about to look back
but Taehyung finally moves to climb over his back. He smiles, happily steadying
the boy with hands under his thighs when he clamps them around his waist and
nuzzling Taehyung’s head when he rests his chin on his shoulder, arms already
draping around his neck and down his chest. Jeongguk continues to walk them
like that, could practically feel Taehyung’s rolling his eyes once he comments,
“That’s the worst cheesy, pick up line ever,” after that.
Jeongguk chuckles, marveling in the way Taehyung’s clinging closer on him
despite his thought. “Glad I set a record. The worst is still number one, even
from the bottom.”
He feels Taehyung’s lips on the side of his neck, smile only stretching wider
at that.
“Gukkie, can I ask you to do one more thing?” Taehyung’s meek voice so close to
his ear is all that Jeongguk’s terribly fond of so he noses the crown of
Taehyung’s head and nods into it. “Don’t ever stop demanding things from me.”
Because he will do anything for Taehyung, anything is worth it when it comes to
his boyfriend. He catches sight of Taehyung’s smile from the corner of his
eyes, feeling his warm breath when he whispers against his cheek this time.
“Can you sing for me?”
“Why?”
“The night’s too quiet.”
Jeongguk hefts him higher on his back when Taehyung starts to slip down from
his movement as he walks. “Sure, any particular song?”
Taehyung shakes his head and hides his face into Jeongguk’s neck. “Anything,
just sing.”
He doesn’t know why Taehyung thinks listening to him singing could fill up the
melancholic and exceptionally quiet night around them. Taehyung is the singer,
not him. But if it’s what could help in calming down whatever chaos going on in
his boyfriend’s mind, he would do it.
It comes naturally, song that reminds him of Taehyung and without further
prompting, Jeongguk inhales a quick breath and sings the words only for
Taehyung. For Taehyung to know he is here solely for him and that he loves him
so much, no matter what will happen to them after this.
“No limit in the sky that I won't fly for ya, no amount of tears in my eyes
that I won't cry for ya,” because it’s true. He would go miles and beyond just
to find the way to make Taehyung truly happy in his life. And when he’s sad
like now, even though Jeongguk doesn’t yet know the reason why, he feels his
own tears warming his eyes because he will be sad too whenever Taehyung is sad.
He doesn’t know when they start to become one like this but it just happens.
Somehow, sad Taehyung leads to an even sadder Jeongguk.
“With every breath that I take, I want you to share that air with me, there's
no promise that I won't keep, I'll climb a mountain, there's none too steep,”
he wants Taehyung to know that he has his life. It’s a dangerous thing, to hand
over your everything, your one and only life to a person especially for someone
who’s still young like them. But Jeongguk doesn’t think he would meet someone
like Taehyung twice in his life again after this. No matter how far he’ll go,
and how long he’ll grow old after this, there’s no one can compare to Taehyung.
He’s a very unexpected decision that Jeongguk’s made when he’s seventeen, to
find the boy whom he thought had affair with his father but it only turns out
to be this, the boy who has his whole heart and Jeongguk secretly promises to
himself, anyone can give them a thousand and one problems, but Jeongguk will
build the bridge himself and cross it with Taehyung hand in hand.
He will. He will find the way for them.
No one can tell them to part, no one can stop them.
“When it comes to you, there's no crime, let's take both of our souls, and
intertwine,” because he belongs to Taehyung as much as Taehyung’s his. Despite
how impossible, and how unforgiving the thing Dr. Jeon has done to his
boyfriend’s family, leaving Taehyung would still be his last resolve. Who is
his father to tell him to choose between Mrs. Jeon and Taehyung? If he can
selfishly choose to save Mrs. Jeon through this unfair way, then Jeongguk can
do the same. He will selfishly choose them both, his mother and Taehyung. They
will both stay with Jeongguk, none is leaving him.
“When it comes to you, don't be blind, watch me speak from my heart, when it
comes to you, comes to you…” his voice fades away, slowing Jeongguk on his
steps once he notices there’s dampness somewhere on his exposed collarbone and
his shoulder. For a moment Jeongguk has no idea what’s happening to his very
quiet boyfriend but when Taehyung lets out a sob, he panics.
“Tae?” Jeongguk tries to peek sideway, to confirm if Taehyung really is in the
middle of shedding tears but only the top of Taehyung’s head fills his eyes,
Taehyung remains hiding his face in the curve of his neck. Jeongguk clicks his
tongue, distressed. “Taehyung, baby, are you crying?”
He shakes his head repeatedly but Jeongguk can feel the shakiness of his body
against his back and the sound of his soft whimper is too close to his ear for
Jeongguk to find out his lie.
“Baby, why are you—”
“You sound so horrible, I can’t stand it,” he reasons, voice muffled on his
shoulder and although Jeongguk knows that’s another blatant lie, he doesn’t
question it and just apologizes.
“I’m sorry. Tae, let me—”
“Don’t let go of me!” Taehyung quickly cuts him off when Jeongguk attempts to
put him down. He only wants to fully see his face and soothe him but just when
he tries to lower his hands from holding up Taehyung’s thighs, his boyfriend is
faster to clasp his legs tighter around him, refusing to be physically kept
apart from Jeongguk. “Just keep walking, but don’t let go of me.”
Jeongguk is caught in silent for a minute before he tightens his hold on
Taehyung and resumes walking again.
“I’ll never ever let you go, Tae,” he gently assures him, words bring more than
one meaning. “You should know there’s no way I’d do that.”
And that’s when he can’t stop himself. Because the moment Taehyung sobs louder
against his neck, Jeongguk can no longer hide the wrenching pain in his heart
and drop by drop his own tears flowing down, drenching his cheeks just as how
Taehyung is wetting most part of his shoulder and the dip of his neck.
“Why—why are you crying too?” Taehyung stutters as he asks, using one hand to
rub against any part of Jeongguk’s chest he can reach to soothe him as well.
The action only causes Jeongguk to cry harder.
“Because I love you. So when I don’t know how to help you, I don’t know what
makes you so sad, I’ll just cry with you,” hearing this, triggers Taehyung to
jump off of his back on his own this time and Jeongguk doesn’t wait. He’s
turning back so fast his own head spinning and next, Taehyung is throwing
himself at him, arms and legs tight around the length of his body while
Jeongguk does the same, holding him up and close to him until their chests are
pressed against one another. His own face is pressed to the junction of
Taehyung’s neck and shoulder.
“I love you so much, Jeongguk. I’m sorry I can’t tell you everything yet,”
Taehyung tells him, continues to crying on his shoulder but Jeongguk just
shakes his head, carding his fingers through Taehyung’s hair and rubbing up and
down his back to convince him it’s fine. Taehyung doesn’t have to force it all
out now, it’s fine if crying in Jeongguk’s arms is the only thing he wants to
do now. Because Jeongguk will be patient and wait for him to open up by
himself. There’s no rushing when Taehyung clearly isn’t ready to tell him any
of it.
So they stay like that, wrapped up in each other’s arms and sharing their tears
even when they couldn’t share the whole truth to one another yet.
“Are you sure you’re okay? Do you need me to stay with you tonight?” Jeongguk
questions first thing first as soon as they arrive by the back door of the
club, taking both of Taehyung’s hands in his and turning their bodies to face
each other.
Taehyung’s face is flushed red, blush still dusty on his cheeks for crying
quite long and eyes puffy with bags under them. Jeongguk finds it extremely
endearing despite the fact that a crying Taehyung is one of the cruelest ways
to hurt him.
“I cried so much, thanks to your awful singing,” Taehyung pouts, shoving
Jeongguk backward by their entwined hands but Jeongguk laughs in return, fully
aware he’s just teasing him. “But I feel lighter now, I’m fine.”
Jeongguk nods, trying to accept his reason but it doesn’t lessen his worries.
He will always be on the edge for Taehyung, always will look after him and
always will make sure there’s nothing major is bothering his boyfriend. He just
wants to keep him happy. Taehyung squirms a bit under his intense stare before
he gently pries his hands away to step into the club.
“Then I—” But of course Jeongguk doesn’t yet ready to let him go, because when
Taehyung wants to turn his back on him, he rushes forward to grab his face and
kiss him hard on the lips.
Taehyung is no better, winding his arms around Jeongguk’s waist and craning his
head to a side so he can deepen their kisses, opening his mouth without
Jeongguk asking to let him lick desperately into his mouth, tasting and biting
fiercely of each other’s intoxicating taste. Only once they’re running out of
breath that Jeongguk gently pulls away, panting and licking the sweet taste of
Taehyung off his lips as he stares into his boyfriend’s eyes. Taehyung presents
him with a beautiful smile but doesn’t move to leave so Jeongguk opts for
another hugging session, pulling him back against his chest and embracing him
just like that while they calm down from the kisses.
He will never get tired of kissing or holding Taehyung. Never.
“Urm, you need to let me go for me to get inside. Just sayin’,” Taehyung says
after a moment, fidgeting a little in Jeongguk’s arms when people coming in and
out of the club begin to throw them questioning glances. But the younger
boyfriend ignores it all, tightening his hold on Taehyung if it’s even possible
at this rate.
“Let me hold you for a moment. I feel like you’ll disappear if I let you go
now,” his own insecurity slips out, bringing Taehyung to stop squirming at
hearing it.
“I won’t,” Taehyung assures him gently. “Just keep me where anyone else can’t
find me.”
“Where?”
Taehyung pulls away, bringing his hand up to rest his palm flat on Jeongguk’s
chest, just above the spot where his heart is beating.
“In here. I’ll be there, Jeongguk. No one can keep me there but you alone.
Always.”
It makes Jeongguk grin so wide, somehow forgetting for a second of all the
miseries surrounding them.
“And you said I gave the worst cheesy pick up line,” is his only teasing
response. Taehyung rolls his eyes, scrunching his nose distastefully as he
gives Jeongguk’s chest a light push.
“Mine is better. Let me win.”
“Yeah, you win. Yours is infinitely better,” Jeongguk’s competitive side gives
in to Taehyung as easily as that, heart simply just full of fondness and love
for his boyfriend.
So he tells him out loud.
“I love you,” except it doesn’t solely come from Jeongguk, because Taehyung is
uttering it at the same time as well. They stare at one another, surprised by
their synchronization before they laugh at their own ridiculous selves, so
helplessly in love with each other.
Taehyung leans in to giggle against his lips before he pecks him once more. “I
know.”
“I know,” Jeongguk says back before returning the peck and finally steps away,
eyes stay on Taehyung until he corners out of the road.
===============================================================================
 
“Taehyung, my man! So glad you came!” Jimin leaps through his door to greet him
with a full bear-hug as soon as Taehyung shows up there. He can’t stop the
laughter from breaking out of him, momentarily forgets all the troubles
circling in his head at the sound of Jimin’s childish giggle and the firm grip
he has on him which leaves Taehyung no choice but to hold him up against his
body by Jimin’s big ass.
When Jimin refuses to let him go, Taehyung takes it on him to carry him along
until they’re inside that he puts him down and kicks the door close. It’s late,
and considering they’ll be having normal school day tomorrow, Taehyung knows
better that he shouldn’t be here to bother Jimin. But he can’t help feeling
awfully distracted right from the moment he’s left alone. He’s watched
Jeongguk’s retreating back all the time moments before but once he’s truly
alone, Taehyung decides he couldn’t take the silence.
No, there’s nothing peaceful about the club. Music is booming and people are
cheering all too loud to even be heard out on the street behind the club but
it’s everything around him that keeps him restless. Taehyung isn’t quite sure
what it is, he just doesn’t think being alone would be a wise thing to do when
his mind is in this jumbled up state. To keep him sane, he’s sent Jimin a text
to have a sleepover at his and thank god, his friend’s door is always open for
him.
Why hasn’t he chose Jeongguk?
He doesn’t want to tire the boy with his miseries, especially when he can see
Jeongguk is doing his best to try and comfort him. Plus how can being around
Jeongguk is calming when the very thing distracting him is all about Jeongguk?
Taehyung just needs a rest, a little escape.
His best friend is the best choice he has.
“Sorry, I suddenly decided to show up here,” he apologizes however, still
thinks he’s too lucky to befriend someone as understanding as Jimin. But his
best friend waves him off, turning back to enter his living room. The house is
mostly quiet as Taehyung deems his parents and brother have long gone to sleep.
“Nah, I need someone tall and strong to move my TV. Come on, come on,” Jimin
beckons him over to where the said device is placed over a shelf. Taehyung
passes his questioning look from it and up to Jimin.
“Move your TV?”
“I feel like having a movie marathon this night but I don’t wanna use my
laptop. The flat screen is better,” Jimin reasons, sounding like they have a
long holiday the next day instead of attending classes. “So you came just in
time. Help me bring this up to my room?”
Taehyung scrunches his nose but moves over to unplug the wires connecting to it
anyways. Of course, he’s doing it while complaining, “This is not how a guest
should be treated.”
“A guest who comes to my house at 12 am is considered rude, so this is your
penalty. Come on! I’ll go grab some popcorn!”
“I don’t know why I only have you as my bestie,” Taehyung mumbles all the way
he’s struggling to carry the TV while climbing up the stairs to Jimin’s room.
He hears Jimin chuckles but stubbornly ignores it. “Cuz you’re pathetic, like
me. So we’re destined to be together.”
Yeah, maybe that part is right.
“Okay! So are we feeling anime or marvel heroes?” Jimin holds up his collection
of DVDs right after they’ve set the TV up along with way too many blankets and
pillows for merely two people and slightly burnt popcorn that Jimin insists
isn’t his fault, the microwave was being a bitch. Okay.
Taehyung makes himself comfortable on the bed, back to the headboard and a
gigantic Spongebob plushy on his lap. “My bestie should already know my taste.”
“Anime then,” Jimin answers without second thought, pushing away DVDs of the
Marvel Series as he begins to click here and there upon his DVD player to put
on the show. The open credit comes in view and Taehyung dives straight for
popcorn while Jimin pays no attention to his surrounding, too busy typing and
grinning to his phone.
“You look disgusting,” Taehyung offhandedly comments once he notices Jimin’s
barely watching even after the first scene rolls in, something in his phone is
way more interesting judging from the everlasting smile he has on his face.
“Oh sweetie, you should see your face every time you’re texting Jeon,” Jimin
doesn’t wear off his enthuastic grin, wriggling his brows to Taehyung. Taehyung
scowls.
“I’m in love, that’s different.”
“I must be in love too, I guess.”
The air is back to silent, saves for the dialogues spoken by the characters on
the show until Taehyung jerks forward to sit straighter and gives Jimin the
most offended look he can muster on.
“What, you’re kidding right?” Jimin stops typing for a while only for him to
shrug and chuckle, saying nothing to clear the confusion in Taehyung’s mind.
“Wait, is this for real?”
Taehyung asks again and when Jimin continues to act as if he’s not there, too
engrossed with his phone, Taehyung throws the Spongebob to him. It hits Jimin
square on the face, has his squeak muffled there before he’s hissing and
kicking Taehyung’s leg from under the blanket.
“Oh shut the fuck up!” Taehyung still doesn’t give up, opting to snatch his
phone away for Jimin to finally listen to him. When Jimin whines, pleading for
his phone to be returned back, Taehyung uses his height to a full advantage,
holding it up higher for Jimin to struggle in getting it. He laughs gleefully.
“I want a full thesis with more than 15 references from journals only, no
Wikipedia!”
“You’ve gone crazy, Taetae,” Jimin’s laughing as well, still trying to tickle
the taller by his waist and armpits for Taehyung to put down his phone.
“I am,” Taehyung dodges him each time, falling with a heap onto the mattress
once Jimin goes straight to wrestle him down. “God, I am. I am going crazy,
because you’re in love and you didn’t say anything to me? How dare you!”
“Dude, I’m sorry,” Jimin’s face is now red with laughing too much or another
embarrassing matter he’s forced to admit, Taehyung thinks maybe both. “I’m not
trying to neglect you or anything. It just…happened so suddenly.”
“How? With who?” As Taehyung is anticipating his answer, finally stops
wriggling due to give his focus on it, Jimin takes the chance and successfully
grabs his phone back. Taehyung huffs but the shorter stops him by draping his
head on Taehyung’s stomach, preventing him from giving Jimin any further
attack.
“My bestie should already know my taste,” he singsongs, copying Taehyung’s
words from earlier while he goes back to swooning over his phone and Taehyung
racking his brain to catch the meaning.
It takes him less than forty seconds to throw Jimin a dirty look.
“How far have you gone with Hoseok hyung? French kissing? Dick sucking? Ass
eating? Barebacking—”
“Fucking hell, Tae!” Jimin scrambles to sit up so he can elbow his best friend
straight on the stomach. He pointedly glares on Taehyung’s splutter of pain. “I
am not as desperate as that, okay?”
Taehyung hisses, rubbing his soft tummy. “I don’t know, you’ve been sex
deprived for so long.”
“Oh shut up, you tool! We’re nowhere above PG 13, calm your ass down.”
Taehyung sits up as well, a shit-eating grin on his face despite the pain
inflicted on him. “Calm yourass down, I’m sure you want Hoseok to—”
“We are so not having this conversation anymore! We’re watching the movie so—”
“No! Tell me everything,” their wresting has now shifted to win over the
remote. “C’mon, I won’t comment anything unnecessary anymore. Just tell me.”
And right on time, the whole house is resonated with blaring sound of the front
bell being pushed by someone. Taehyung and Jimin stop midway in their
playfighting, eyes blinking upon the closed bedroom door until Jimin seems to
remember something and he clicks his tongue, pushing Taehyung away from him to
stand up.
“The bitch, I told him not to ring the bell,” Taehyung simply watches as Jimin
leaves to entertain whoever else decides to show up at even latter hour than
him. He waits, playing with the blanket wrapping around his waist until two set
of footsteps seem to climbing up the stairs and Jimin’s frustrated grunt is
heard coming closer to his room.
“I specifically told you honey mustard, not regular honey!” Finally Taehyung
sees who’s coming. Jimin steps through the door with a sour expression, holding
up a mini bottle of what Taehyung assumes the sauce he’s complaining about
while following close behind him is Yoongi.
He looks as bored as he can, which is a normal occurrence, while he yawns and
dives straight to the bed. “Still, there’s honey in it. Just use it.”
“But they both taste different! How am I going to enjoy my popcorn without
honey mustard sauce?”
Jimin’s nagging dissolves into the air as Yoongi skillfully blocks him out by
wriggling his small body into the blankets, hand reaching for a random pillow
to be thrown over his face. Jimin holds up the honey bottle to smack him with
it but luckily he’s unable to see it. Even if it’s just an empty
attempt—because Jimin still values himself too much to be sacrificed by
Yoongi’s Sparta punishment—both him and Taehyung know better than to go
overboard in annoying the oldest. No one messes with Min Yoongi, you bitch,
learn the rules.
“Yoongi hyung?” Taehyung pokes him lightly on his shoulder. “Why are you here?”
He’s about to go back to watching the anime after deeming Yoongi has truly gone
to sleep with him answering Taehyung with silence. But then he drawls
underneath the pillow. “Douchebag texted me, said we’re having porn night. So
here I am.”
‘Douchebag’ glares at him while begrudgingly squeezing the honey all over the
popcorn. Taehyung can only suppress his laughter from bursting out.
“Well…we’re just watching anime though.”
Yoongi slowly removes the pillow off his face to peek through his half-closed
eyes to the screen and it instantly causes Jimin to interject with reasonable
explanation, panicking.
“But we can still have ‘boys’ night’! Been a while since we had it, isn’t it?”
Yoongi directs a tasteless look at grinning Jimin but plops back down to the
pillow since he’s too lazy to deal with him. “I’m going to murder him, after I
wake up from my sleep.”
He warns nevertheless and Jimin whines, going over to suffocate Yoongi with
cuddles but it ends just like that, their movie night resumes without anymore
of death threat or boyfriend-related gossip as Taehyung and Jimin become
engrossed into the story while Yoongi snores softly in between them.
The session should officially end after two movies later but once Taehyung’s
back on the bed after brushing his teeth and washing his face, Yoongi surprises
him by asking question from beneath the blanket.
“How’s Taerie? Have you talked to her?”
“What’s with Taerie?” Jimin joins them, getting into the same position as
before as he flicks the light off and gets under the blankets to sandwich
Yoongi in between them.
Taehyung takes his time to answer, blinking repeatedly to the dark ceiling
above as he contemplates to open up with the topic or not. He came here to take
his mind off it so would it be worth to get it all off his chest when he should
be getting enough rest now?
But Yoongi and Jimin are still waiting for him, noticing both of them have now
gone quiet in the dark but none are closing their eyes as they wait patiently
for Taehyung to speak up. He sighs, these people are the closest he has as
family now, Taehyung thinks it’s unfair to hold barrier with them.
“She knew about my job.”
He can feel Yoongi burning holes to the side of his face from the way he turns
to look straight at him. Yet he says nothing, knowing too well he was the first
person Taerie went to after she learned the fact. Jimin’s the one reacting
physically as he holds his head up a bit to glance over at Taehyung. “What?
From who?”
“I don’t know…” Taehyung lies despite him knowing it’s all thanks to Seokjin.
He’s still not ready to drop the real bomb tonight. He’s too tired for this.
“But don’t worry about it, hyung. I got it.”
Taehyung assures as he snuggles closer to Yoongi’s side, not minding about
invading the older’s personal space as he knows Yoongi is used to how he gets
whenever he wants comfort without verbally asking for it. Yoongi’s eyes remain
intense on him even in the dark but only a deep sigh comes in response.
“You don’t have to beat yourself for it,” the older pulls the cover heavier to
Taehyung’s side and something in his chest tightens and softens at the same
time. He keeps a straight face. “Huh?”
“Tell us whatever it is in your mind only when you’re ready. Not because you
feel like you need to tell us everything. We’ll always be here, take your
time.”
“That’s right, Taetae! Nothing to rush yea? We’re not going anywhere!” Jimin
encourages him too like the usual cheerful him from the other side but it only
pulls the urge for Taehyung to spill everything out harder.
He gives in with a sigh.
“My sister wanted to donate her blood for the money.”
“To who?” Yoongi’s the one asking now, sensing it’s okay to continue after
Taehyung has started it.
“A man...he needed it to save his wife from a chronic disease.”
“But why must it be from Taerie?” Jimin interjects with the same question
Taehyung has been questioning to himself as well. He knows his blood and his
sister’s matched Mrs. Jeon but out of billions people in the world, why them?
“Because apparently she’s the only matching donor with his wife, but since we
have no parents, the man planned to fabricate the consent. In exchange, he’ll
pay my sister some money,” it feels surreal now that he’s relaying the story to
someone else.
“God…Tae, that’s fucked up,” Jimin voices his concern.
“Very,” he agrees shortly and turns to his side to be face to face with Yoongi
and Jimin. “But what do you think of the man? Don’t you think what he’s doing
is wrong? Don’t you think he needs to stop?”
“Of course he’s wrong, Tae! He shouldn’t use a kid with no parents like that.
Even with Taerie’s agreement, that’s just purely immoral,” Jimin grows
aggressive with anger evident in his voice.
“But he’s doing it to save his wife, you say?” Yoongi looks for confirmation
again, calmer compares to his same age best friend. “Can’t he find another
donor?”
God knows Taehyung wants to shove that question straight to Dr. Jeon’s face the
next time he meets him. He settles with stuttering breath for now, unsettled
and worried. “His wife’s blood is one of the rarest and she’s running out of
time currently…or so I’m told.”
Because despite his blatant hatred towards Dr. Jeon after knowing this whole
plan, Taehyung’s still thinking about Mrs. Jeon. He’s aware how the woman has
been suffering for years and going through a transplant with a perfect donor is
her only chance to survive. On top of it, it’s what Jeongguk would want the
most, for his mother to be healthy again. Just because he’s lost his own mother
without having the chance to see her again, that doesn’t mean Jeongguk deserves
to have the same ending. It’s just way too twisted.
He and Taerie have that key to save or kill Mrs. Jeon, and it’s the scariest
privilege ever.
“I understand him,” Yoongi says at last to break the heavy silence.
Jimin sits up so fast to stare on Yoongi as if he’s just lost his brain. “Huh?
Hyung, you’re crazy! He’s a bad guy, how could we let Taerie—”
“When you chose to be a hooker, to sleep around for money, on behalf of raising
your siblings and looking after your grandma, didn’t you think it was wrong
too?” But Yoongi cuts Jimin off by shooting that raw question to Taehyung,
rendering him speechless because the topic said by Yoongi has no filter. It’s
always like this when it comes to lecturing session with Yoongi, bare and on-
point truth with no sugarcoating the reality.
It hurts, but it’s what Taehyung knows he needs to hear.
“I thought of it, it was wrong. Still wrong, but I’m doing it for my family,”
he admits with a faint weakness in his voice.
“Same as the man. He’s doing it wrong, but he’s doing it for someone important
to him,” Yoongi concludes easily, as if the huge matter Taehyung is frowning
upon something that’s easy to understand if it’s seen from a different
perspective. “Imagine if you’re in his shoes, would you be doing the same?
You’re a hooker, does that make you a bad person?”
Taehyung swallows hard. Does that make Dr. Jeon a bad person for trying to save
his dying wife through the illegal way? Taehyung feels a hand carding through
his hair and he glances up to Yoongi giving him a soft look and playing with
his fringes in a way to comfort him. Taehyung stops the urge to cry and melts
under his hyung’s touch, listening to his deep, soothing voice.
“I think being a bad person, and being bad at being a person are very
different. Just because that man is desperate to save his wife and pay Taerie
for it, it doesn’t mean he’s automatically a total bad person. He’s just
desperate. I’m sure you know that feeling well, Tae.” He couldn’t help it when
Yoongi tells him so, because yes, yes, he knows that feeling so well.
He’s been in that kind of heart-stopping, throat-drying and mind-numbing
situation where he just did the first thing he deemed right to make everything
okay again. He chose with his own decision to work as a hooker, he chose to
sleep around for money, he chose to live that way. In the eyes of so many
people, he’s flirty and only down to the easiest way to gain money through
shortest time but none of them knows what he’s gone through. None of them has
seen him on the nights he curls around himself and cries to sleep just because
he hopes he’s chosen different.
Yet he still does it all. Why? Because he has too, because he still has his
family—a group of people who he wouldn’t trade with anything else in the world.
And it’s all the same with Dr. Jeon.
They’re equally, pathetically, helplessly desperate.
They’re just humans with bad decisions.
When a tear rolls down to his cheek, Yoongi’s quick to wipe it away with his
thumb, caressing his cheek gently as he sighs.
“But still, I never say I agree with what Taerie’s doing. She always has
another way to have money, helping a desperate man to save his wife is none of
her business,” Yoongi clarifies his thought, sounding firmer now to show his
disagreement despite his point of view upon the man who asked Taerie of such
request. Taehyung sniffs, doesn’t know what else to do.
“On top of everything, Tae, think of yourself first,” Jimin nods along to
Yoongi’s advice as he too, has turned to his side to entirely wrap his legs and
arms around Yoongi so he can still see Taehyung by hooking his chin over the
oldest’s shoulder, resting his head there.
“I know you. You’re way too kindhearted and selfless for this world. Sometimes,
that’s not a good thing,” Yoongi reminds him. “For once, put yourself first
before anybody else. For once, decide what’s the best for you. And not for
anybody else.”
The best for him? How? He doesn’t want Taerie to be taken advantage on, but he
also never wants to see Jeongguk sad. It’s unthinkable for him to imagine the
day Jeongguk would find out his mother is dead, his mother couldn’t be saved
and he’s lost her forever. Jeongguk would totally break and it’s not the kind
of guilt Taehyung wants to live with. He stares back at Yoongi, silently
pleading the older to save him.
“If you want Taerie to be safe, then stop her. Sure, it can affect the man’s
wife but hey, we all are selfish when it comes to the people we love the most,”
of course Yoongi gets him without any words spoken, smiling thinly as he
continues to caress the apple of Taehyung’s cheek.
“You’re allowed to be selfish, Tae. It’s nothing odd, it’s just being normal
human,” Yoongi pulls him close until he’s totally cradled and protected within
the safety of his arms, feeling another pair of hands encasing him as Jimin
does his best to hug them both. “And you have to remember, a normal human can’t
satisfy everybody. That’s just how the world works.”
It’s the last thing he hears from Yoongi before the oldest closes his eyes and
drifts to sleep, leaving Taehyung to drown in his own thoughts. He looks up
upon feeling a hand ruffle his hair and somehow in the darkness, he can make
out the line of Jimin’s reassuring smile before he too falls into slumber. Then
it’s just Taehyung riding on his train of thoughts.
He doesn’t want to hurt Mrs. Jeon, or let Jeongguk down. But Dr. Jeon isn’t
just using his sister and him, he’s hiding their comatose dad and keeping
secret of his mom’s death from him all this time he’s just around Taehyung.
As much as Taehyung wants to be understanding, he’s still a human who can’t
help but feel toyed with when someone more powerful than him is using his
entire family this way.
Yes, they’re both desperate to save somebody. But bad decisions have limit, and
not all of them deserve to be forgiven.
Taehyung has to make his choice and this time, he’s done being played with.
===============================================================================
 
Jeongguk couldn’t fall asleep.
No matter how many times he tosses and turns, sleep just stubbornly refuses to
come to him. It leaves Jeongguk with nothing better to do than blinking to his
ceiling and sighing every now and then. He considers taking his sleeping pills
but with this kind of heaviness in his head, he doubts the pills would be
helpful. Groping around for his phone, he squints amidst the darkness to read
the time and notes it’s already two in the morning.
He won’t be getting any sleep at this rate.
Frustrated, Jeongguk gets up and dresses swiftly to make his way straight to
the dance studio. He was the last one to leave the other day so the key’s still
with him. That’s why when he expects himself to be alone there, he’s met with a
shock instead to find the studio totally unlock and music faintly playing
inside one of the rooms. Jeongguk goes straight into it, wondering who has the
gut to trash inside here when his eyes catch the sight of dancing Hoseok
instead.
“Hyung, you’re still here?” Only now he remembers how the team leader has his
own personal key to have the access to this place.
“Hey, come in!” Hoseok abruptly spins around with a smile already on his face,
sweats and pants still a permanent part of him as Jeongguk assumes he’s
probably just perfecting the routines he’s planned to teach the rest in their
next practice. “Can’t sleep?”
Jeongguk chuckles, wondering if he’s that transparent for Hoseok to read him
like a magazine.
“It’s just heavy in here,” he reasons, tapping his forehead and Hoseok nods.
The older looks like he wants to ask Jeongguk about it but he doesn’t want to
indulge on it now. He brushes it off with “Show me your new choreo, hyung.”
In an instant, Hoseok smirks. The slight worry on his face is replaced with a
certain determination that Jeongguk always envious of whenever Hoseok’s about
to murder souls through his dancing.
“Try to master this only by watching, kid,” is all he says before Hoseok goes
over to replay the song. Once the beat drops and the bass begins to thrum
through the entire studio, Hoseok stands by the center of it, eyes murderous
upon his own reflection and then he sways his body to the rhythm of it.
Jeongguk’s watching each and every movement of his like a hawk, concentration
engulfing him too as everything that’s disturbing in his mind earlier vanishes,
being replaced with his focus to memorize and catch the full choreo performed
by Hoseok now.
At some points, Hoseok repeats a few steps by the second bridge of the song and
Jeongguk gets to his feet on his own accord, following Hoseok and getting into
the dance so effortlessly that Hoseok laughs at him through the mirror, a hint
of proudness clear in his eyes while Jeongguk continues to smugly copying his
flawless steps.
“Wow! Ever the golden Jeongguk,” the older praises with a pat on his back as
they both collapse down to the floor once the song has looped twice, back to
the long mirror while they try to catch their breath from vigorous dancing they
just did.
Jeongguk replies with his wide, bunny smile, preening at his own
accomplishment. Hoseok takes out his water bottle from his sports bag and hands
it over to him, allowing Jeongguk to drink first, all the while he’s checking
his phone. Jeongguk accepts it gratefully, gulping down a big amount but still
minding to leave some for his hyung.
“So what kind of help you need from Jiminie?” Hoseok starts, making Jeongguk
furrow over the brim of the bottle.
“From where did you know?”
Hoseok doesn’t answer him, simply tilting the screen of his phone to reveal
Jimin’s selca, big and entirely filled the device as its wallpaper before
Hoseok turns it back to him and kisses the picture repeatedly. Jeongguk
pretends to gag.
“Shhh, I’m on cloud nine now,” is Hoseok’s halfass attempt to fire back his
sarcasm, still grinning down to the screen.
“That’s creepy, hyung. You should at least tell him your feeling.”
Hoseok snorts, bringing his phone close to his chest as if he’s protecting his
precious Jimin there. “Yah, I already did that okay?”
Jeongguk chuckles louder, not sure whether to feel relieved or amused of the
situation. “And he agreed? He agreed to be your boyfriend?”
“Well I didn’t exactly use the word boyfriend but I tongue kissed him in the
middle of a busy street so I take it that means something.”
Jeongguk scrunches up his face to the one that loudly screams ‘you’re nasty’.
Hoseok hisses.
“Don’t make that face! It’s my time to be alive, let me be!”
“Well I never say you can’t!”
“Sheesh, your face said it. Just don’t be salty, you’ve got your own happiness
way earlier than me and I’m older! How disrespectful!” Jeongguk knows Hoseok’s
just complaining in a sense of joking but he can’t help but think yeah, he got
his happiness. Yet he doesn’t know if it will last long or not.
His smile gradually fades away, returning Jeongguk to his quiet demeanor as he
positions his body straighter and gulps, not feeling sure if he should tell
this to Hoseok.
“Speaking of good news, my mom found her donor already,” Hoseok chokes a bit on
his drink, staring at Jeongguk through wide eyes. “She did?”
Jeongguk gives a small nod, barely there because he isn’t sure if he’s allowed
to feel happy or not but Hoseok is outrageous, excitement and thankfulness
radiate right out of him, making it hard for Jeongguk to share his enthusiasm.
“That’s fantastic, Jeonggukie! That’s so awesome!” He receives a sweaty, tight
hug from the older when Hoseok deems it’s wise to crush his entire weight on
Jeongguk. The younger groans in protest but Hoseok pays no heed, too busy
squeezing him gleefully as he laughs. “It feels like it was just yesterday when
you always came here to hide and cry because of her. Knowing that she can be
saved in the end, it’s the best feeling, Jeonggukie.”
Jeongguk stills in his arms hearing that.
Yeah, it is a long time since the first day he learned Mrs. Jeon’s condition.
It’s been two years solid since his mother is fighting the leukemia and right
from the start, Jeongguk’s been praying for the day for his mother to find her
donor to come.
Now that he really has time to think of it, Jeongguk remembers all those days
when the only thing he can do for her was crying. Crying and hiding and praying
for Mrs. Jeon to get better. And for him to never lose her.
 
“Hey, they’re about to close the place,” Jeongguk flinched from his fetal
position by one corner of the studio room when a voice suddenly greeted him. He
refused to look up, knowing whoever that person was would find out he was
crying and that would be embarrassing for Jeongguk. So he stayed shutting his
mouth, thinking if he was quiet enough, that person will leave him alone.
But no footsteps were heard. All that came next was a question. “What’s your
name?”
This time, it came from a different voice. Great, now he had two to deal with.
Not that just he was bad in dealing with one person, now Jeongguk had two.
Fantastic!
“If we know your name, we can tell the instructor. So next time when you want
to stay back, the instructor will leave the key to you,” the first voice
explained and Jeongguk stopped to think. These people were confusing. One time
they were annoying, another they were caring of Jeongguk. He didn’t know what
to do.
So he did what they wanted him to do. He told them his name with his face still
hidden in between his tucked knees. “Jeon Jeongguk…my name.”
“Ah, I’m Jung Hoseok! This is Kim Yugyeom!” The first voice announced with so
much energy, as if he didn’t just talking to the weirdest, quiet kid in the
dance club. “Nice to meet you!”
Slowly, very hesitantly, fourteen year old Jeongguk revealed his face up to the
two people. Their position of bending down toward Jeongguk was intimidating but
none of the boys looked harmful. In fact they looked friendly, welcoming and
concern upon noticing the tears wetting Jeongguk’s cheeks.
“Why are you crying?” Second voice—Yugyeom, Jeongguk noted—slipped the question
like they had known each other forever but Hoseok was quick to elbow his side,
causing Yugyeom to ‘ouch!’ for not filtering his mouth. But Jeongguk found it
amusing, it was rare to meet someone as straightforward as Yugyeom since
everybody around him always minded their words upon the ticket that he was the
director’s son.
Jeongguk thought it was useless being a director’s son, not that it can save
his mom or anything. He was just as ordinary as other people. In fact, he
thought he was the one with lesser luck because it was his mom that sick. Not
theirs.
“My mom is sick…” He told them before he could stop it, tired of keeping it in
alone.
“Huh?” Hoseok asked when he couldn’t quite catch that.
“She might die, I don’t want to be left alone,” Jeongguk didn’t know why he
admitted this to a couple of strangers. Maybe he was just exhausted, maybe he
needed someone to be with him since his father can’t, maybe he was just too
afraid of dealing with this by himself. But instead of turning around, Hoseok
sat by his right side.
“Tell you what, you won’t be alone. We’ll be your friends!” Jeongguk blinked at
him, taken aback by what Hoseok just said before another figure dropped by his
left and Yugyeom was grinning so wide it scared Jeongguk a little.
“Yeah, we’ll be your gooood friends, Jeonggukie! Don’t be sad anymore!”
That was the first time he was grateful somebody found him crying there.
 
“I cried a lot before, didn’t I?” Jeongguk smiles at the memory, recalling how
helpless his younger self during the time he tried to cope with Mrs. Jeon’s
sickness.
“You were a crybunny,” Hoseok admits, though there’s no trace of teasing in his
smile, just pure fondness for the younger. “But you’re happier nowadays.”
“I am?”
“Yup, ever since you met Taetae, I think,” Jeongguk’s heart starts to race upon
the simple mention of his boyfriend. He can’t explain it but Taehyung always
has that effect on him. “I’m glad you’re together with him, Gukkie. Keep him,
keep what makes you the most happy.”
Hoseok’s saying something true but Jeongguk feels like every part of him is
breaking. He would love to do that. He would love to keep Taehyung forever. But
first he needs to be strong for the both of them, he needs to find a way that
can save not only his mother, but also Taehyung out of this awful mess.
He could only hope it won’t end badly this time.
Jeongguk stares upon his phone on his way back to his apartment. He’s pretty
much sure Taehyung’s soundly sleeping now but he can’t stop himself. He sends
the text and rubs his screen displaying the picture of smiling Taehyung
affectionately before Jeongguk locks it.
He keeps it away and walks again, praying for a better tomorrow.
 
To: Baby Taetae
Night, love.
 
===============================================================================
 
On the other side of the line, Taehyung is as awake as a human can be, still
drawing random patterns with his eyes on the ceiling of Jimin’s room until his
phone beeps. He frowns, wondering who could be texting him now of all the time
and smiling so naturally as soon as he opens the message.
He types something quick back and puts his phone away.
Taehyung spends the entire night thinking of everything but like a magic, a
single text from the one he loves the most easily lulls him to sleep. Taehyung
has no trouble meeting Jeongguk in his dream after that.
 
                                                                To: Cutie honey
                                                             Good night, honey.
                                                                               
===============================================================================
 
“It is dad…” Taehyung hears her voice, hears it when Taerie let out a sob, but
he can’t seem to open his mouth. He can’t seem to respond with anything as his
focus narrowing down on nothing but the acrylic bar written with Kim Dohyeon on
it.
Taerie glances back at him, eyes growing wetter while she says it again, barely
believing it. “Oppa, it’s dad…Our dad.”
“Daddy? Is he inside? We can finally meet him?” The question asked by their
youngest brother is the one bringing Taehyung out of his flooding emotions.
Slowly he drops his eyes down to where Puppy is holding his hand, eyes blinking
wide and innocent from the door in front of them and up to Taerie, occasionally
at him.
He wonders how the little is feeling inside. Taehyung never quite knows whether
Puppy ever got the chance to meet their father or not before. Even if he did,
he doubts the little baby would still remember it. He was so young back in five
years ago. He was only one year old, he barely even knew the world.
But now he’s meeting him.
They all are meeting their father again.
And it is as simultaneously overwhelming as it is not enough.
Five years.
Five years aren’t short. Five years are a lot of time. Five years have seen
them going through so much. Five years were the times Puppy grew up without the
care of parents. It was the time he learned no one was going to tuck him to
sleep unless he did it himself, no one was going to pack his lunch unless he
packed it himself, no one was going to buy him toys unless he made them out of
papers and box, and no one was going to stand there and wait, and wave at him
each time the school bell rang so Puppy paid the parents no attention. He
hooped up into the van himself.
Five years were the times Taerie spent dealing with her panic attack each time
she was bullied in the orphanage. It was the time she started asking Taehyung
to buy her medicines so she can content her nightmares, so she didn’t chase
many people away from her than she already did. It was the time when she
endured all the mocks, ridicules and anger from the other orphans when someone
came to adopt her yet she rejected it. She rejected it because she never wanted
to leave Puppy behind, she never wanted to leave Taehyung alone though she
never admitted to him how much they meant to her. But with every rejection, she
was dubbed to be ungrateful, she was thrown with hurtful words saying just
because she had that beautiful face which everyone wanted to adopt, she became
arrogant and choosy. But Taehyung knew that wasn’t the case. That was never the
case. Taerie never accepted the adoption because she didn’t want just a family.
She wanted her family, her real family.
Five years were the times his grandma spent alone at the retirement home, just
wondering where her son had gone to. Five years were the times Taehyung running
around to try and find the ways to fix everything, to cover up the holes, to
build better days for him and his siblings. It was the whole time they had to
learn that life was unfair, and it was entirely up to themselves to shape and
make it feel at least fair enough.
They all are young kids, yet they’ve lived so many lives they can barely count
it with their hands. They’re kids, but they’re more than innocent. They know
how far the world can beat someone up, they know the cruelty and pain, they
know how to survive in it way better than most grown-ups.
They’re more than innocent.
They’re the flawed youth, black and tainted, but still wanna survive no matter
how painful it is just for them to have this moment, this very moment where
they can finally meet their parent again.
Then maybe, just maybe, five years would worth it.   
“You all better hurry up, I can only buy some time for this before the nurse
comes and checks him up,” Taehyung looks up to Seokjin’s voice just in time the
man stands by the door that will lead them to their father.
Taerie stares over at him, as if asking for strength to do this with her, to
lead her inside, so with a short inhale, Taehyung pulls Puppy to walk with him
until he can slide the door apart very gently. Taerie is following him close
behind all the way they enter the room and meet their sight with the long white
curtains veiling a bed by the center of it. And then he doesn’t know what to
do.
He hears the door click, knows that’s the sign Seokjin is leaving them to have
the time alone but Taehyung can seem to direct his next movement, he can’t even
process it when he sees the clear outline of a body lying on the bed behind the
curtains.
What if this man isn’t his father? Despite the same name, what if Seokjin’s
just fooling them around?
So many possibilities playing in his head that render him to stay rooted where
he is until Taerie’s the one gathering her wills and reaching forward to part
the lapels of the curtains for them.
The first sight drops Taehyung’s heart entirely to the floor. The pieces are
scattering everywhere and Taehyung has just enough time to exhale a bit before
he’s breaking. Tears by tears raining down his cheeks and when a particularly
loud whimper echoes in the room, he has no idea it was from him or Taerie.
“Why are you crying? Is he not our daddy?” Puppy asks in between the shakiness
of Taehyung and Taerie’s tears, the only one who’s unable to cry not because he
doesn’t know what’s happening, but rather because he can’t remember the face of
their father clearly.
But the two older siblings remember it well.
They remember the height of their father, they remember the way his broad
shoulders stretch under the shirt he’s wearing, they remember the waviness of
his hair, and they remember his face. His face, despite with eyes close
tightly, doesn’t change that much.
Sure, there are lines by the corners of his eyes and under them to show his
aging, but the man lying in front of them is still incredibly their father. The
shape of his lips resembling Taehyung and Taerie, the bridge of his nose, the
hands clasped over his stomach are all that convinced Taehyung yes, yes, this
is his father.
This is Mr. Kim.
This is the talented painter he loves the most, this is the man he respects a
lot, and this is the man who loved giving Taehyung his collection of arts while
calling him baby bear with heavy fondness.
Taehyung misses it all. Taehyung misses him.
“He is,” Taerie manages to slip in between her uncontrollable sobs. “He is our
dad, Puppy.”
And with that confirmation, Puppy drops Taehyung’s hand to run over and climb
by the side of the bed for him to have closer look upon Mr. Kim.
“Daddy!” He calls out, grinning so wide it wrenches the whole of Taehyung’s
chest. “I never met him. Why won’t he wake up? We’re here, he should wake up.”
The sight of Puppy nudging the motionless man by his shoulder with his small
hands is not helping at all. Taehyung is overwhelmed with these thousands of
blades thrusting everywhere on his body and he almost collapses to the floor.
But luckily Taerie is there, she’s there to stop him by engulfing her arms
around Taehyung and just hold him close, crying into his chest instead because
she too, can’t seem to stare at their father being like this.
Puppy pouts at them once he turns to find his older siblings being in the
cluster mess of tears like that. “Why is everyone crying?”
He’s cute, Puppy being oblivious in the midst of their emotional breakdown is
endearing but Taehyung doesn’t move to enlighten him. Instead he slowly
untangles himself from Taerie until he can stand close enough to their father
and pick his hand into his.
He’s here, Taehyung can touch him. And even when he doesn’t move at all while
Taehyung’s tightening his grip, it’s enough.
“Dad, dad, dad…” Taehyung can’t stop calling him. He needs to utter it again
and again, letting the fact sip into his mind and learning to accept the
reality that he’s seeing his father right before his own eyes once more, his
father is living despite being comatose.
He’s here, he’s here. He’s with them.
They can be fine again.
“I want to live with him,” Taehyung doesn’t know how long he’s crying but by
the time his tears come to gradual stop, that’s the first thing Taerie tells
them. He gives her a heavy look from where she’s standing by the opposite edge
of the bed, eyes glued on Mr. Kim. “I don’t care if he left because he hated
us. Now we’ve met him again, let’s live together once he wakes up, oppa.”
Taehyung sniffs. “I don’t think he left us because of that. I’m sure he’s had
his reason.”
The reason that he can only know once Mr. Kim wakes up again.
“We can all live together? In a house? Like a family?” Puppy interjects,
excitement in his voice, as he bounces a bit from his spot beside Mr. Kim’s
ribs, having been sitting there as he does nothing but play with the sleeve of
Mr. Kim’s hospital uniform.
Taerie chuckles, wet with tears, before she leans in to drop a kiss on his
temple, “I hope so, Puppy.”
That’s when the moment is interrupted by the door opening for someone to enter.
For a moment, everyone stiffens, contemplating the idea of being caught red
handed but then Seokjin’s voice comes and the siblings sag in relief.
“It’s time to leave,” the PA reminds them, passing his hesitant look one each
on the siblings. Puppy whines, holding tighter to Mr. Kim’s sleeve. “But we
can’t just leave him alone. We need to wait until he wakes up.”
It breaks Taehyung and Taerie’s heart because, same, but Seokjin gives him a
forceful smile and walks over until he can bend by Puppy’s height to inform him
gently.
“He’ll wake up someday, Puppy-ah. I’ll tell you as soon as it happens okay? For
now, go back first with your siblings so the nurse can take care of your dad.
Can you do that?”
Puppy’s blinking at him, taking his time to agree with it but then Taerie
sighs, drawing the attention to her.
“Are you sure about not knowing what happened to him? What had caused him to be
like this?”
Good question because Taehyung is dying to know the same. Seokjin is one of the
most important persons in handling this plan. There’s no way he doesn’t know
what had caused their father to be like this, to become comatose and helpless
this way. Yet Seokjin’s face is unreadable, frowning to himself as he shakes
his head to everyone’s disappointment.
“I’m sorry, Taerie. I really do promise myself I won’t keep any secret again
from all of you,” he convinces them. “I’ll tell you immediately if I find out
anything else. But for now, it’s still nothing.”
“But it’s impossible. You’re the PA of the director, you can just ask the
nurses and doctor assigned to take care of our father to know it,” Taehyung
still doesn’t let go which Taerie nods aggressively, both eyes intense on
Seokjin. The man shifts uncomfortably on his feet.
“I’ve tried that way, Taehyung. Do you think I haven’t thought of it? But like
you said, this place is run by Dr. Jeon. He can keep anyone quiet if he only
wants to. That includes his nurses and doctors.”
Something visibly twitches in Taerie’s face; a mixture of annoyance, anger and
maybe disappointment. Taehyung knows those feelings well. No matter, if he
can’t find out through Seokjin, he can always use other ways. He just needs to
put his mind on work and figure it out. They’ll get there.
Seokjin asks Taerie to bring Puppy out after they each take their turn to kiss
Mr. Kim on his forehead before Taehyung is left alone for Seokjin to bring his
siblings to his car, trusting Taehyung to find the way himself. He uses the
time to stare some more upon his father, couldn’t seem to quench his feeling of
missing him even while they’re as close as this.
“Don’t worry,” he mutters as he smoothens down the blanket around Mr. Kim,
making sure he’s comfortably tucked in. “I’ve waited for five years already.
Surely I can wait some more until you’re ready to wake up.”
His eyes jump back to his face, waiting for him to say something and wondering
if his father can hear him. When silence is his answer, Taehyung gives up with
a thin smile.
“Be safe, dad,” he whispers, dropping the words down with a kiss to his
forehead. He finally moves to untangle their entwined hands that he’s been
holding since earlier but Taehyung freezes of any movement when the only thing
he feels is the tug on his palm.
His eyes widening, staring down to Mr. Kim and waiting with bated breath for
the man to open his eyes, but none is happening. The man is lying still and
Taehyung wonders how tired he is to start imagining things.
He squeezes Mr. Kim’s hand one last time only for him to squeeze back—
“Dad?” Taehyung’s voice is barely above a whisper, just a whoosh of air out of
his mouth.
He’s pretty much sure the hand that’s just being squeezed by Mr. Kim is
beginning to tremble now.
Taehyung stares harder and next, another pair of eyes is looking back at him.
Taehyung’s heart stops.
===============================================================================
 
His moan is swallowed by Hoseok when Jimin keens loudly from the way the older
is pulling him closer to his chest, cupping his butt into the both of his hands
and squeezing them as he drags Jimin flushed to him. The motion causes his dick
to feel the delicious rub against Hoseok’s clothed stomach.
Jimin can’t get enough of everything.
He’s lost track of time since the moment Hoseok crushes his mouth on him but
somewhere faintly over his mind, he knows they’ve been kissing for quite a
while. And despite how cramp his chest is screaming for air, he still won’t be
the one to back down because this kissing and rubbing against each other has
started as a competition.
Jeongguk has texted them earlier asking the two to meet him regarding the
matter he needs help from. Since Hoseok has insisted he’s joining them no
matter what, the oldest used his elderly card to command his house being their
meeting point. Reason: because he’s too lazy to go out early and he needs to
enjoy his morning coffee first. Begrudgingly he got ‘whatever u say, hyung’
from Jeongguk and ‘omg I’ll be seeing ur house?! I’m in!’ from his sweet
Jiminie. It turns out, Jimin’s there way too early for Hoseok’s liking but with
his bright smile and fluffy morning hair, Hoseok finds no energy to deny him.
So here they’re after having a simple breakfast, sitting on the couch and
getting bored from waiting for Jeongguk so Hoseok suggested for them to play a
game. Rule: let’s kiss and see who’s the first one to pull away. Fuck. No.
Jimin isn’t going to lose. Jimin is going to win.
But it proves to be harder to keep his mouth on Hoseok once the elder begins to
roam his hands everywhere. With his big and warm hands, Jimin can’t help but
marvel at the way he’s touching him as if Hoseok is caressing a piece of fine
porcelain. It’s fire beneath every single surface he’s running his hands over.
From squeezing his butt, to stroking upward along his spine, to massaging in
between his shoulder blades and down back to gripping his waist a little
firmly—just a tease of possessive action yet it manages to make Jimin scream in
his head that I’m yours, take me, hyung!
Yet the words never make it out of his mouth because he’s focusing more in
burying his tiny fingers deep into Hoseok’s hair. It urges Jimin to lick harder
into the elder’s mouth because how can his hair be unbelievably soft? Hoseok
always has it styled in gel that Jimin imagined it wouldn’t be this soft but
today it seems, he’s come at the very right time because Hoseok has nothing on
except the pure softness of his locks, tangling and swirling in between Jimin’s
fingers. He wonders how he would react if he just pulls it a little…
He gets a very satisfying, animalistic groan from Hoseok and Jimin quickly
saves it in his mind as one of Hoseok’s weak spots. Hair pulling kink. Oh god,
he’ll die. Hoseok will be his death, but it’s the kind of sweet torture he’s
willing to surrender himself to. When Hoseok pulls away out of a sudden, he has
half a mind to yell out his victory but it all goes down in vain once he
receives a certain sting to the side of his neck, whining loudly and snapping
his eyes shut to the addictive feeling of Hoseok sucking and biting on his
skin.
“Ergh, hyu—hyung, please,” god, Jimin’s too ashamed of his voice. He sounds so
fucking needy begging just from being bitten. Hoseok might think he’s easy but
he has nothing to care about it at this point aside from getting more of
Hoseok’s mouth everywhere on him and wanting his hands to explore his body.
He feels tongue lapping over the skin he deems has blooming red from Hoseok’s
mark. That thought is strangely satisfying to him but he doesn’t get to dwell
on it that much as the elder begins scattering little kisses along his jaw
until he’s up to his chin and meeting Jimin’s mouth with a sweep of his tongue
on his lower lip. Jimin lets out another moan, opening his mouth so readily.
Hoseok doesn’t continue to kiss him, pulling away instead to smirk through his
hooded eyes. “Baby’s impatient huh?”
Jimin’s breath catches in his throat, pupils blown as he stares at Hoseok
because that’s such a huge turn-on. Hoseok calling him baby with his raspy
voice and smirk playing on his lips is just too fatal. Don’t. Fucking. Get.
Hard. But that’s what exactly happening right now. He gets hard, so hot and
bothered that he’s afraid he would be crossing some borderline with Hoseok. He
contemplates stopping it here or diving back in yet Hoseok makes up his mind
faster.
As if sensing his hesitation, he pecks Jimin softly on his lips before pushing
him down to lay on the couch instead of straddling him. And the sight of Hoseok
hovering over him is enough to push away any doubt he has because in the next
second, Jimin is grabbing his hair and pulling him in to crash their mouths
again. It’s another repeat of intense cycle in licking, sucking and biting into
each other’s mouth with Hoseok’s hand has gone brave to be under Jimin’s shirt,
traveling his touch everywhere there. The moment his nipple is pinched in
between teasing fingers, Jimin gains his confidence back to try and buckle his
hips up, to test the friction of his growing tent on Hoseok’s rough jeans but
he’s stopped by the sound of door opening.
“What the—holy shit!” Someone screams, clearly catching them on act, and Hoseok
pulls away with a deep frown evident on his face. Jimin takes comfort upon the
fact he isn’t the only one feeling sour for being interrupted like this.
“The fuck are you two doing here?! Sucking face on my couch? Really?”
Hoseok makes to sit up while helping him to do the same with gentler hands,
supporting him around his waist until Jimin has the full sight of Namjoon with
budging eyes on them, one finger pointing accusingly to his couch. Only now
he’s free of Hoseok’s mouth that his brain manages to remember this apartment
is shared with Namjoon as well. He’s not home since last night, Hoseok told
him, but when the first thing he comes back to is them being all over each
other, Jimin can’t find it in him to be sorry. All he does is give the DJ from
the club a shy smile while Hoseok snorts.
“Don’t be dramatic, Joonie,” he leans deeper into the couch, a hand slips
behind Jimin to hug his shoulders and it only spurs the youngest to blush
harder. “This might have been your couch but Ihelped you moved it in all the
way up to ninth level. Be grateful.”
Namjoon throws his bag onto the coffee table in between them as fierce as how
he’s throwing them a dirty look. “What does that have to do with you guys
dirtying my couch? My innocent eyes don’t deserve this!”
“Innocent, pffh,” Jimin can’t stop his giggling at seeing the funny way Hoseok
rolls his eyes. “Last time I came home, Jin hyung literally pounded into you
against the kitchen—”
“Hyung, that’s way too much information!” Jimin squeaks, hitting his chest with
his sweater paws.
“Thank you, Jiminie,” Namjoon directs a tight smile to him only for it to turn
murderous again a second later once he looks back at Hoseok. His finger
wriggles back and forth from Jimin to Hoseok. “But since when is this even a
thing? Are you two an item now?”
“Hmm,” Hoseok dreamily sighs, turning sideway to nuzzle his nose into Jimin’s
cheek. “What does it look like? Are we an item now?”
The softness from the tip of his nose against his skin only broadens Jimin’s
grin, giggling as he cups Hoseok’s jaw into his small hands.
“Yes,” he whispers. “We are, hyung.”
Hoseok grins, a stretch of all sunshines and happiness, before he closes his
eyes and leans back in. Jimin giggles again, seems like that’s all he knows how
to do today, as he gets ready for the kiss to come. Only that it never happens
because instead of Hoseok’s lips, their faces are smacked with a magazine,
landing straight in between the gap of their lips and both of them reverse back
with a groan of pain. Namjoon ignores it in favor of yelling at them.
“Not again, you horndogs! At least get into your room if you wanna continue
sucking faces.”
Hoseok hisses, scrunching his nose in obvious annoyance because not just
Namjoon interrupted their makeout session, he’s throwing things to them now.
Rude. And Jimin thinks Hoseok being irritated is adorable. “What are you even
doing here? You’re not supposed to be home until later?”
Namjoon waves them off, stepping into the kitchen for a drink. “Tch, what do
you even know about hustling for wedding preparation? It’s packed! And I still
have dinner date with Jinnie this evening so I need to be ready early.”
Hoseok’s face transforms from showing annoyance to confusion. “Wedding
preparation you say? Whose wedding?”
That’s the same moment Jimin picks up the magazine thrown at them and sees it’s
actually a wedding catalog. “Urm, his, I think?” He guesses, holding it up for
Hoseok to see.
It’s silence for a moment, save for Namjoon gulping loudly from the fridge but
then Hoseok sits straighter, twisting his body to face the kitchen hallway.
“Wait—what the fuck, you’re getting married?”
Namjoon walks back in with a yogurt drink in his hand. “I thought it’s pretty
obvious. It’s not like I’ve changed my ambition from being a rapper to a
wedding planner.”
Hoseok sighs, sounds like a breath of relief and disbelief at the same time.
“Wow…that’s…”
“Amazing! Congrats, Monnie hyung!” Of course Jimin’s always the one being
excited in this kind of news, smiling so wide his eyes crinkle while Namjoon
winks at him in return.
“Well, finally,” Hoseok relaxes again on the couch, face looking smug. “At
least now I know I’ll be getting this apartment all to myself after you move
out.”
Namjoon splutters into his drink. “Rude! You wanna get rid of me that much?”
Hoseok opens his mouth to launch with something spicier but the bell rings to
cut him off and Hoseok directs a pointed look at his roommate. “Don’t tell me
that’s your man.”
It’s Namjoon’s turn to cast them devilish look, walking with puffed out chest
to the door to get the intercom. “At least now I can make out without feeling
left out, can’t I?”
Hoseok rolls his eyes yet says nothing as he only pulls Jimin closer to his
chest all the while waiting for whoever at the door to come in view. They
thought it was Seokjin but when Namjoon says “Rich kid from the club?”, both
Hoseok and Jimin straighten.
“Uhm, this is supposed to be Jung Hoseok’s house?” Jeongguk asks with furrowed
brows once the person greeting him behind the door is the DJ from Taehyung’s
club, someone he also remembers as Seokjin’s fiancé.
Namjoon seems to answer with something but a voice that’s clearly Hoseok
interjects from inside the house. “Yep! After the brat gets married and fucks
off.”
Namjoon looks like he’s a minute away from losing his shit at Hoseok but with a
deep breath, he gives Jeongguk a forceful grin. “He’s just kidding. This
apartment is paid equally between me and Hobi.”
“So you’re roommates,” Jeongguk restates the fact for confirmation, to which
Namjoon just shrug distastefully. “Unfortunately so. But why are you here?
Didn’t know you know Hobi.”
“Tell that to yourself when you didn’t tell me about knowing Jiminie!” Hoseok
once again booms from the couch. Namjoon hisses.
“Well I—”
“They’re here? Hobi hyung and Jimin?” Jeongguk takes it Hoseok didn’t come to
get the door since he’s too busy entertaining his boyfriend’s best friend. Like
a magic, Jimin shows up right behind Namjoon to yell “I’m your hyung too, you
rotten ballsack!”
Jeongguk ignores him like he’s just a part of the air.
“Oh so you’re here to see them?” He nods to Namjoon’s question instead. “I’m
taking them somewhere.”
It is met with a very loud clap from Namjoon, before he’s laughing obnoxiously
and pushing both Jimin and Hoseok out of the door. “That’s the greatest thing I
heard today! Please keep these two away from me. They’re disgusting.”
“But we’re just—”
Jimin’s complaint is left to die as soon as the door is banged close right on
their faces. Jeongguk, Hoseok and Jimin stand in silence for a while until the
youngest raises his eyebrow to the two that Jimin says defensively, “What?
Don’t judge. It’s not like we never caught you and Tae made out like there’s no
tomorrow.”
He assumes Namjoon just saw the same happening to Jimin and Hoseok. What a fast
progress, okay. He turns to walk away with a shrug.
“So here’s the plan, we’re going to Mr. Kang’s apartment.”
“What? Why are we meeting the satan?” Jimin asks, already showing his huge
dislike upon the plan they’re approaching as he walks in between Jeongguk and
Hoseok.
“Who’s Mr. Kang actually?” Hoseok breezes in but Jeongguk ignores it in favor
of talking to Jimin.
“Haven’t Tae told you anything? He gave out his pictures working in the club to
the school and exposed his job. He’s trying to make Tae lose everything.”
Jimin falls silent, clearly trying to recall such thing from happening under
his acknowledgement but once he finds none, he scowls. “But I thought he quit
being the instructor already. I thought he was leaving for good.”
Jeongguk snorts, zero humor in it. “There’s nothing good with that man. He
left, but he still wanted Tae to suffer. I cannot, on top of everything, see
Tae lose something he loves doing. The school’s important to him, he can’t
quit.”
Hoseok’s hand suddenly shoots up. “Em, am I the only one don’t understand
what’s happening now?”
“Long story short, Jimin and I are going to enter his apartment while you,
hyung, are going to distract the guard and inform us quickly if Mr. Kang’s back
home.”
“But how do I know him? I’ve never even met him!” Hoseok protests to which
Jeongguk rolls his eyes.
“I’ll send you his picture. C’mon, we need to go to the nearest toilet. You
need to change,” he holds up a paper bag he’s been carrying around with him
since before towards Hoseok. The oldest hesitantly takes it while peeking
inside. “Me?”
There’s a gasp coming from Hoseok yet Jimin barely realizes it as he’s too
focused in pitying his best friend, in beating himself for not knowing
Taehyung’s problem earlier. He should have known from the hint of gloominess
permanently becomes a feature in Taehyung’s beautiful face nowadays. He should
have known when his best friend has such a huge burden on his shoulders, he
should have been there for him, he should comfort him, he—
“How come Tae never told me any of this,” Jimin lets it out through a whisper,
face completely saddens. Jeongguk shakes his head, understanding that urge to
keep Taehyung protected all too well.
“Don’t feel bad yet. I’m sure he just doesn’t want you to worry about him. He
told me it’s not a big deal too, but of course I disagree. That piece of shit
needs his lesson,” Jeongguk pushes Hoseok into the public toilet when the
oldest stays rooted to where he’s standing, unbelievable look on his face.
Jimin still doesn’t notice the change. “So feel bad if our plan goes down
today. This is our only chance to save Tae.”
Hoseok stomping on his feet is the only thing manages to finally make Jimin
notice of the oldest’s annoyed expression. He looks down to the paper bag once
Hoseok shoves it back to Jeongguk. “But why? Can’t I just do whatever you want
me to do like a normal male?”
Jimin doesn’t get the question so he reaches for the bag to look inside and
see…a set of female garments. Okay, should he feel confused or should he laugh?
But Jeongguk sounds dead serious. “No, cuz I found out the guard at the
apartment has this thing with trans female so you gotta keep him busy while
Jimin and I get to work.”
“But I’m tall, why can’t Jimin dress like this instead? I bet he’ll look cuter
in this,” Jimin widens his eyes and instantly forces the bag into Hoseok’s
chest. “Hell no will I wear that!”
Jeongguk clicks his tongue. “Just do it, hyung! I have a couple of free tickets
to Caribbean Bay, I’ll give it to you two for your next date.”
It’s an intense staring contest in between Jeongguk and Hoseok after that:
Jeongguk challenging the oldest to deny his request while Hoseok narrowing his
eyes sharply up and down the youngest to consider the offer. It’s not just an
ordinary offer, he will need to dress like a woman, but if he’s getting free
tickets for his date with Jimin…
“Fuck it, just give that to me,” Hoseok finally looks away while grabbing the
bag from Jimin. “If I can’t see my Jiminie and his majestic butt in a swim
trunk later, I’ll cook you into a steak!”
He’s already stomping into the toilet, couldn’t hear it when Jimin splutters “I
don’t even have any swim trunk,” under his vibrant blush. Jeongguk massages the
bridge of his nose as if he’s feeling a disaster coming from agreeing to let
Hoseok help them with this.
“Just be his motivation for now,” he says to Jimin and receives no further
comment except the elder’s threatening glare. It’s not like he won’t look good
in a swim trunk. Jeongguk’s sure he will, so he should just chill.
They wait for a few minutes more before Hoseok sends them a text to make sure
no one else is in the toilet or outside of it for him to finally step out with
his glorious transformation. Jeongguk sends back an okay signal and there he
is, trudging out with woman clothes wrapping him entirely from head to toe.
Jeongguk and Jimin study him from the bottom where he’s wearing a pair of
leather heels, adding to his height even more, higher to a black satin skirt,
then higher to a matching black blouse he’s wearing, a long pearly necklace
circling around his neck and draping down to his chest and lastly up to his
hair where they can no longer see his brown wavy hair. Instead, it’s covered
with a wig in short bob cut, black in color with a big ass flower pin placed on
one side of his head.
Hoseok’s transforming into a perfect ahjumma.
And despite how the clothes still manage to bring out his natural beauty,
there’s no smile on his face. A big, gigantic scowl etches there instead as he
has his arms crossed one another on his chest. Amusement slowly creeps up into
Jeongguk and Jimin’s face.
“Laugh even a bit and I’ll kill you two. I’m serious,” his voice is thick with
dangerous threat that both Jeongguk and Jimin try their hardest to swallow any
force of laughter. They keep their face straight as Hoseok fans himself,
looking so diva-ish in such style. “So what now?”
Jeongguk is reminded of their initial plan and he’s quick to bring them
straight to Mr. Kang’s apartment. They stop a few meters away from it once the
place comes into their sight, Jeongguk pointing at the guard house in front of
it.
“You see that? You need to get inside and distract the guard while we sneak in
to get the keycard and up into the apartment. Keep your eyes out for anyone who
looks like the man in the photo I sent to you. After we’ve found what we’re
looking for, we’ll come straight down. Then you leave the man, immediately.
Okay?”
Hoseok plays with his pearly necklace, still looking sullenly at Jeongguk. “Is
this even necessary? From where did you know the guard loves trans female?”
“I have my way, okay? Still, I can’t exactly blame him. A lot of trans women
are pretty,” Jeongguk wriggles his eyebrow and drags flirty stare all along
Hoseok’s body. The oldest cowers away, hiding behind Jimin. “Jiminie, save me?”
The smallest laughs, stepping aside and pushing Hoseok by his shoulder to start
on their plan, “Just do it, hyung. I’ll come back to you as soon as I can,
yeah?”
Hoseok seems to be comforted hearing it so with a deep inhale, he squares his
shoulders straight and fixes the flower on his wig, a determined look on his
face. “Let’s do this.”
So while Hoseok takes his time to distract the guard, Jeongguk and Jimin hide
around nearby bushes and watch as Hoseok paces in his heels until he
purposefully trips himself right in front of the guard house.
“Ouch!” It successfully attracts the guard to him and he runs out to get to
Hoseok who’s excessively wincing for his ‘twisted’ ankle.
Jimin elbows Jeongguk. “Is that part of the plan?”
“No, but at least we know he has another talent. Acting,” Jimin thinks his
comment is true because as they’re watching, the guard is now squatting down
beside Hoseok to see how he’s doing.
“Hey there, sweetie. You okay?”
Hoseok wails, totally loud and fake. “Argh, it hurts. Can you—can you help me?”
He blinks his puppy eyes up to the man to which he receives one huge grin in
response.
“Sure, darling. Lemme help you up,” but here comes another act to prolong the
distraction. Because when the guard is supporting him around his shoulders,
Hoseok drops his body down further and falls straight into the man’s embrace.
The drama. “Oh, wow. Hi?”
Jimin scowls at how the guard is now staring with full heart eyes upon his
Hoseok but Jeongguk pays them no attention as he tugs Jimin forward and uses
the chance to slip into the guard house. They do their best to crawl around,
out of the CCTV shots to prevent them from getting caught in the future, before
Jeongguk gets his hand upon the keycard of Mr. Kang’s house and they run
upstairs.
“Are you sure this is the house?” Jimin asks as soon as they’re standing in
front of a door numbered 1144. Jeongguk looks nowhere near scared. In fact, he
looks like he’s ready to slaughter the very owner of this house they’re about
to break in. Jimin can clearly see the impact Taehyung has on his boyfriend,
how determined he is to save his best friend from whatever bullshit Mr. Kang is
causing on Taehyung.
“I’m gonna sue my informer if it’s wrong,” is all that Jeongguk says.
“And you sure he’s not home?” Jimin asks a tad later while Jeongguk already
slots the card into the lock. “Positive,” and it beeps before the younger
pushes it open without any restriction.
Next, they make their way inside, body cautious of anything despite knowing the
fact there should be no one inside for now. They first get into the living room
and Mr. Kang seemed to fill the space with nothing but a bare set of white
couches and a modern set of TV and music stereos. They look around for a while,
reminding themselves to study things only through their eyes and not hands.
“You never tell me what we’re looking for actually,” Jimin breaks the silence
after it grows eerie from the quietness of the place.
“Anything that can help us gets back to him.”
“You sure have obsession with revenge huh?” It’s an offhanded comment from
Jimin but Jeongguk can’t help the slight stiffness from his body as if it’s
directed to his past decision paying revenge on Taehyung.
As far as he knows, Taehyung never tells that problem they had between them to
anyone. And that includes Jimin. Yet he can’t seem to stop the guiltiness from
creeping into his heart again this time and Jeongguk quickly swallows the bile
to dismiss it.
“Then do you want Tae to quit school? Losing everything even if it’s not his
fault?”
Jimin stops by a bedroom door to throw a glare over his shoulders. “Don’t guilt
tripping me! You know I want only the best for him.”
Jeongguk sighs. “Then stop questioning my motive. If we find nothing, then
we’ll leave. I’m not trying to hurt him, I just need him to shut up and leave
my boyfriend alone.”
And with that, Jimin says no more, proceeding with their exploration to the
rest of the house. It got four rooms in total but until the very last room,
small and secluded by one corner at the end of the corridor, that Jeongguk
finds the entrance is shut tight. He frowns, trying once more before meeting
with another failure and beckons Jimin to him.
“It’s locked. It’s the only door that’s locked,” Jimin studies the knob for a
while before reaching into his back pocket.
“Move,” he says and Jeongguk does as he’s asked while Jimin inserts a tiny
tool, like a pin, into the hole of the knob. He twists and turns it until they
hear a click from inside. Jimin straightens with victory on his face while
Jeongguk raises his eyebrow.
“Don’t give me that look. I work in a night club, I’m used to deal with
everything illegal,” Jimin defends his act but Jeongguk brushes it off with a
shrug, even more eager to discover the unknown inside.
It takes a single push on the door for the path to welcome them into a room
full of photographs and notes pasted on every single inch of the walls. None of
Jeongguk or Jimin can see the real paint of it due to how the entirety of the
room is covered with pictures and small notes written with dates and short
sentences.
“What fresh hell is this?” Jimin mutters, isn’t sure which side of the walls
should he take a look on first.
Jeongguk, on the other hand, already feels hot blood rising to his head. He
trails step by slow step along the wall from the nearest corner to stare upon
those pictures revealing to him so many teenage boys, just around their own
age. They’re all pretty faces in different, casual poses. Most of them are in
their respective school uniforms, some are in work uniform—probably doing part
time as a waiter, barista, or pump attendance at the petrol station. While the
people in the pictures are mostly oblivious of their daily activities being
captured on, some of the rest are a bit more suggestive.
Jeongguk can feel sweat turns his palms clammy in nerve as he studies how the
boys are smiling to the camera, posing in revealing and fancy attires as if
they’re in a club judging from the dim background of the photos and the most
shocking of all, there are also pictures of them entirely unclothed. Some in a
sitting position on their knees, clearly in the middle of sucking hell knows
what, while some are on their stomach lying with their bare back to the lens.
Jeongguk begins to feel the terror creeping up his spine, praying the hardest
for him to never see Taehyung among them. Jimin has gone quiet too, frowning
hard upon each of the notes as he reads the written dates and what seems like
the respective name of the boys with their age. True, they’re young boys from
the age of 15 to 19 and there’s something extremely disgusting to find their
pictures being photographed this way.
The newest date is about eight months ago and that’s when Jimin’s breath
hitches. Jeongguk snaps around, startled by his audible gasp before he rushes
to his side and sees with his own eyes the only person he never wants to be
involved in any of this terrifying mess.
There—Kim Taehyung—his sweetheart, his beloved boyfriend, his everything in a
picture quiet bigger than standard A4 grinning his beautiful grin as he’s mid
dancing on the stage clearly from the club. Jeongguk’s head is filled with
major disbelief, shifting his eyes to the next picture in hope to see somebody
else but of course, it’s still Taehyung. And another, after another, after
another, until half of the wall has nothing but Taehyung in different poses on
it. Jeongguk doesn’t want to break his heart by looking at his inappropriate
pictures but it’s Taehyung, even in just a white button down pooling around his
waist and his bare torso and legs exposed to the camera—clearly on a hotel
bed—he still manages to look the most sexy and hot without needing to face the
lens. Jeongguk hates, hates, hates, the fact it’s Mr. Kang who had seen him
like this, in that position, seductive in that way.
He fucking hates Mr. Kang he could kill him with his bare hands.
No longer could see his best friend like that, Jimin averts his eyes away and
notices the ending of Taehyung’s pictures is beginning of another boy.
Undeniably attractive and young like Taehyung, but not as pretty as him.
“This boy…do you think he’s a new target?” Jimin asks, a hint of weakness in
his voice from finally connecting the dots from these photos.
Jeongguk still couldn’t take his eyes off Taehyung, still couldn’t stop his
mind from planning all kind of murders for Mr. Kang. Don’t blame him. He hates
the disgusting, dirty old hack so fucking much. “No wonder he gave up on Tae,”
he at last comes to the conclusion.
It’s good that he gave up but does he still need his pictures in here? Why does
he need to bring that shit about the club to their school? Why can’t he just
leave and bring his fetish away silently? Why does he have to do that to
Taehyung of all these boys?
He’s too angry with so little rationality in him that Jeongguk doesn’t wait to
jump forward and rip those photos off the wall.
“Don’t!” But Jimin’s quicker, pushing Jeongguk away from it just before he
could get his clawing hands upon it. Jeongguk’s grunt is beastly as he tries to
push Jimin away, hates that he’s stopping him, but the elder insists in pushing
him harder until Jeongguk is thrown to the opposite wall. “We can’t destroy
anything that will hint to him of someone finding out his dirty secret! That
way the police won’t have any evidence in this house once we report him.
Everything needs to stay this way.”
Jeongguk seems to protest against it but the sharp glare he receives is final.
And Jimin is right. Everything they’ve found in this room now is the biggest
key they can use to put Mr. Kang behind the bars. Jeongguk can’t destroy it
just yet no matter how disgusted he is of the fact that his boyfriend has been
stalked for a long time by son of the bitch.
Merely by a thought of it, Jeongguk feels the bile in his stomach and up to his
throat. He rushes to the toilet, dumping the tension, the anger and the
throbbing pain he feels surrounding his head into the bowl before flushing it
all and washing his mouth. He can’t accept his boyfriend being treated this
way. He can’t. If Jeongguk feels this horrible, then he doesn’t know how
Taehyung will react to this.
“I know, it’s sickening,” Jimin’s by his side, rubbing up and down his back to
calm Jeongguk out of his exploding nerves. He doesn’t say much but from the
brightness of his face, Jeongguk can tell he’s in a deep rage as he is. “Is he
a stalker for fun or something?”
“I don’t—”
And that’s when something catches the corner of his eyes. Jeongguk drops his
focus down to a bin next to sink and sees the trashes inside there are
exceptionally odd for mere rubbish in the toilet. They are all medicine bottles
and Jeongguk wonders what kind of illness that would warrant Mr. Kang to
consume this much of pills. Noting what he’s staring at, Jimin covers his hand
with a tissue paper before he picks one of them and widens his eyes a bit for
finding the bottle still has its full content. Mr. Kang doesn’t touch it even a
bit.
They share the same meaningful look before Jeongguk’s fishing out his phone and
utilizing Naver to its very best for information upon the medicine. They find
out the scientific name leads to an article regarding a type of mental
sickness. Jimin reads it out loud.
“Pederasty, erotic homosexual relationship between an adult male and a
pubescent or adolescent male,” Jeongguk gulps, already hating where this is
going. “It won’t be considered mental problem, unless it’s abusive to young
boys or borderline obsession.”
It’s one of the lines that helps Jeongguk piece the rest of the situation with
the room they found just now.
“He’s a stalker. He’s been stalking my Taehyung for a long time, he has his
pictures all over his wall and now, he’s doing the same to someone new. It’s
neither safe nor healthy.”
“I know, he needs to be stopped,” Jimin hands his phone back to him, his other
hand holding up the bottle. “He’ll notice it if we touch anything from the
wall. But he won’t notice something’s missing from his rubbish bin.”
Jeongguk nods. “We’ll take this to police.”
“We need the newest boy to testify things though.”
“I’ll find a way to contact him,” and with, they leave the place.
“My son is here!” Hoseok screams first thing first, jumping straight into
Jimin’s arms right the moment they come to collect him again.
“Son?” Jimin mumbles into his shoulder but Hoseok pulls backward a little to
cup his face and shed his non-existent tears. “Oh Jiminie, honey, can you bring
me home already?”
Jeongguk’s about to tell him to stop his acting already but the guard earlier
pops out his head from the door to flash a creepy grin at them and Jimin takes
it on him to engulf Hoseok into his arms, bringing him away. “Alright, mother.
Let’s go home.”
A lot meters away from the guard, they should already be free from their façade
but Hoseok still chooses to whine into his shoulder.
“I swear to God, Jiminie, I’m traumatized! I need twenty kisses and two hours
straight of cuddling session!”
“That’s enough acting, hyung,” Jimin says through his giggle, pushing Hoseok to
the direction of the public toilet. Hoseok whines louder despite the groan from
Jeongguk. “But I’m trauma—”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll give you kisses and cuddles. Just go change first. You’re my
boyfriend, not my mom,” Jimin grumbles despite the blush blooming on his cheeks
and Hoseok coos, leaning into the boy’s space. “Oh Jiminie, I need my first
kiss now.”
Jeongguk’s about to yell at them to stop the shitty drama already but once
Hoseok’s puckering his lips, Jimin’s too glad to drop his peck there and only
then, the oldest skips happily into the toilet.
Jeongguk’s sigh is the loudest, heaviest and longest.
“I approve you,” Jimin says instead to ignore it.
“Of what?” His voice is rough, not in the mood, especially of what he just
found out about Mr. Kang and his boyfriend.
“Of being Taetae’s boyfriend. I’m sure he’ll be fine under your care.”
That causes Jeongguk to sag a little. He’s not going through all this shit to
be a mere hero. Jeongguk knows Taehyung doesn’t need any hero. His boyfriend is
a hero to himself and many other people as well. Yet he figures it won’t hurt
to put his own mind at peace by putting Taehyung’s safety as his priority.
Because that’s Jeongguk’s only intention.
He wants Taehyung to stay safe and happy.
And if getting rid of Mr. Kang is one of the things he needs to do, then so be
it.
Jeongguk doesn’t think this matter he’s doing right now could compare to the
hurt he’s causing the other boy. There’s way more layers beneath this matter
than just protecting his boyfriend from a freak stalker.
He sighs, voice barely above a whisper. “It’s the least I can do for him
after…everything.”
Everything that only the two of them know is hurting them both.
===============================================================================
 
A week after everything, Taehyung is called again to the principal office. Only
this time, he’s aware of what’s about to come to him and he already knows what
he wants. All the while waiting for his homeroom teacher to call him inside, he
plays with a piece of white paper in his hands. It’s a formal letter, folded
into an envelope and is ready to be given to the principal.
No one knows about this. Taehyung makes the decision himself because after
meeting his father at the hospital, he decides he simply needs a break.
He closes his eyes and just breathes. Honestly, he doesn’t know. For years
already he’s lost majority of himself, started from the day his parents left.
He feels like no matter how strong he is, no matter how many times he tells
himself ‘I’m okay, I’m fine,’ a part of him will never be whole again. A part
of him will always believe happiness is such an expensive thing, that it’s
rare. Until recently, he’s got it for free. His true happiness was handed to
him for free in a way he couldn’t have expected. Then he realizes the reason
why it was free, the reason why it was easy was because it was borrowed. The
happiness, it’s just borrowed to him. It’s still too expensive for him to truly
have it.
So to put himself back to basic, maybe yeah, he needs a break. Because he’s
only human, he wants to heal. And healing starts by building the happiness on
his own. Not on any other person, and definitely not on him.
“I don’t think I need to explain why you’re called here, Mr. Kim,” the
principal begins once he’s inside, standing before him with the gigantic office
table in between them. “The school has come to a decision regarding your case.
We decide that it’s better—”
“Save your breath.”
“Excuse me?”
Taehyung looks him in the eyes, calming his own heart and wanting to make this
quick before he regrets his own choice.
“I said save your breath,” he repeats before placing down the letter onto the
table. “You don’t get to decide my future. I’ll do it myself.”
The man furrows to the envelope before dragging his wary eyes up to Taehyung.
“What is this?”
“You wouldn’t know until you open it.”
Sighing, he surrenders and reaches forward for it. Taehyung holds his breath
the whole time he’s reading it, frowns only grow deeper as his eyes reach the
bottom of the sentences.
“This…,” he finally glances up, voice slower this time as Taehyung pleads
through his eyes for the principal to refrain from asking him anything. Please
don’t ask him anything. Taehyung doesn’t want to explain. He just wants to be
over with all of this.
“Sir!” But the question remains hanging in the air once another teacher bursts
into the room and casts a frantic look from Taehyung to the principal. “I’m so
sorry to interrupt but you gotta come with me now.”
Taehyung isn’t sure what’s happening because just when the man opens his mouth
to ask, the teacher comes and whispers something low to him. He responds with a
sigh.
“I’ll be right back. Wait here, Mr. Kim,” is all that he tells him before
Taehyung’s left alone.
His eyes fall back to the letter on the table. He pictures all the hearts
behind it and the first person he sees is Jeongguk. Then there’s Jimin, Yoongi,
Hoseok…even all the people he’s known along the way like Namjoon and Seokjin.
They all have their place in his life but somehow, to do this, he has to figure
it out alone this time.
He’s met his father. He’s alive, thankfully alive.
And he’s heard his story.
So it’s time for him to choose; the life he has now or the life he wants in the
future.
Taehyung shifts on his feet, about to drown himself deeper into his thoughts
when a chaotic sound of someone screaming pulls his attention away and Taehyung
looks over to the window where it comes from down the building.
“What the…,” he mumbles to himself, shocked to see students are crowding near
the main entrance of the school to surround a group of people consists of the
principal, a few teachers, Jeongguk, Jimin and…Mr. Kang?
Seeing how fierce the man is pointing and barking at his boyfriend, Taehyung
doesn’t wait but rushes out to get there. He can already tell this is not going
to be good.
“I demand a punishment for that boy! He broke into my house and violated my
privacy! This is unacceptable! You can’t have this kind of intruder among the
students!” Some of the teachers are standing between Mr. Kang and Jeongguk,
preventing any side from attacking the other from how red Mr. Kang is because
of his anger. Jeongguk, on the other hand, is calm, hands crossed over his
chest while he gives the man the most disgusted look he can muster.
“Are you talking about yourself, Mr. Kang?”
The principal widens his eyes. “Mr. Jeon—”
“I’m sorry, sir,” but he cuts him off, doesn’t give anyone any room to speak as
Jeongguk takes the chance to explain his action. “But I gonna say this. You’re
planning to give Kim Taehyung a punishment for doing part time job in the club
but haven’t you thought of how immoral of this school for hiring an instructor
who spends his money clubbing?”
That’s when Taehyung arrives there, panting and catching the gist of the
conversation just as Mr. Kang decides to lash out again.
“That’s totally out of point! I’m an adult, I have the right to do whatever I
feel like doing!”
Jimin smirks. “Then stalking your own student is one the things you do for free
time? How low can you go, Mr. Kang?”
“Stalking?” One of the teachers asks. “What are you talking about Mr. Park, Mr.
Jeon?”
Taehyung has no idea as well, looking for explanation from his boyfriend and
best friend while Mr. Kang starts to pale.
“We’re not gonna explain anything. Let the officers do the talking, in the
court,” His boyfriend seems to enjoy his discomfort way too much while he
smirks and juts his chin to where a couple of polices are walking toward them.
Taehyung widens his eyes, just as taken aback as everybody else. He’s too
focused on Jeongguk, he doesn’t realize it when the police car already parked
out there.
“This, this—” Mr. Kang tries to reverse away, making himself as small as he can
but the two officers stop to guard him by each of his side.
“Mr. Kang Eunha?” One of them asks, flashing out their police ID and warrant to
arrest the man. “You’re under arrest for stalking and sexually harassing
students under their age of consent. Please follow us back to the station now.”
The mutters and gasps coming from the crowd only grow louder at this. Mr. Kang
fiercely shakes his head, dodging the police when one of them reaches for his
arms.
“No, no, no. This can’t be true!” He snarls while pointing at Jeongguk and
Jimin. “You can’t believe whatever these boys are saying. They broke into my
house without my permission! That’s a crime as well! And they don’t have any
proof—”
The police sighs, flipping open a file he’s carrying with him to show the
collection of pictures they got from the room in his house. Everyone tries to
crane their head to have a look upon it. “Is this enough proof for you, Mr.
Kang?”
Among all of the surprises, seeing his own face in that collection of photos is
the most shocking one. Taehyung gasps, stepping forward until he’s right next
to the police.
“Those are my pictures…”
Taehyung feels the whole crowd is staring at him, a mixture of expressions is
thrown on him that it makes Taehyung want to shrink himself small and smaller.
As if sensing this, he feels Jeongguk’s hand around his waist the next second
and the police turns to give him a thin smile.
“Kim Taehyung, right?” Taehyung hesitantly nods, pretty much sure his face is
bright red now from knowing he’s just become one of the victims from Mr. Kang’s
crime. “We gonna need you for testimony later in the court. Our officer will
reach you soon. For now, Mr. Kang, will you please follow us?”
They all turn to look at the criminal but his eyes are pointed on Taehyung,
sharp and intent, that when Taehyung flinches while looking away, Jeongguk only
pulls him closer to his chest.
“You’re trying to keep me behind the bars huh? You think that gonna keep me
shut?” Mr. Kang steps closer to him and the polices start to grab his arms to
prevent him from harming anyone. He snarls, turning to shout at the crowd.
“This boy, Kim Taehyung, is a dirty—”
Jimin’s faster in cutting him off. “Nobody gonna believe a psychotic stalker
like you!”
Mr. Kang laughs out maniacally.
“I’m a psycho?” He struggles in the hold of the polices as his icy stare now is
directed upon Jimin. “Prove it, little boy.”
“Then I suggest you read this by yourself,” Jimin confidently shoves his phone
to the front of Mr. Kang’s face, his own voice booming to expose the man. “You
might have forgotten it but since a year ago, you were diagnosed with a mental
illness of being sexually obsessed with young boys. They let you out since you
seemed to behave properly in the institution. But once you’re out, you’re
repeating the same habit again and again. You look for any young boy whom you
deem attractive enough to you and stalk them until you get to sleep with them.
Your obsession can be under control with the help of your medicines.”
Jimin stops for a while, gulping while he sneaks a glance at Taehyung who looks
terrified as ever, clearly isn’t sure if he should finish his story from Mr.
Kang’s health record he has in his phone.
“But after you met Taehyung…” Jimin hesitates some more, doesn’t want to hurt
his best friend but Jeongguk takes it on him to finish the statement.
“You stopped taking your pills,” his eyes bloodshot on Mr. Kang. “It’s all
written in your health record. The hospital apparently is still keeping track
of your medical intakes and health record. You can’t possibly say they’re wrong
too, can you?”
“Oh god…” Taehyung weakens in his arms, unable to accept the reality that this
is happening to him, to one of his customers. This is another risk he’s forced
to face by being a hooker who takes upon random customers. He wouldn’t know if
he actually has a stalker paying him.
Taehyung stops himself from crying, refuses for any of them to see how horrible
he’s feeling. But Jeongguk’s warmth is there. He glances up and Jeongguk
already has his strong arms wrapping around him, pulling him into his chest and
it all that makes Taehyung want to cry harder.
“Please follow us, Mr. Kang,” he’s pushed out of the crowd to the car waiting.
Everyone watches him with mixed feelings, relieved but disgusted all the same,
but halfway through it, he’s jumping back to get to Taehyung and  the crowd
roars in panic.
“It’s his fault! It’s all his fault! He and his stupid, beautiful face! He
lured me in!” He’s shouting uncontrollably at Taehyung but Jeongguk cups his
face and directs Taehyung to look only at him, comforting him as he caresses
his cheeks and whispers soft words to him to distract Taehyung from getting
afraid of the psycho.
Taehyung really wants to cry. He’s not afraid of Mr. Kang. He knows everyone
here will protect him but being under Jeongguk’s gentle care is overwhelming.
He loves him so much, he never wants to lose Jeongguk. Taehyung proves it by
balling fistful of Jeongguk’s school shirt into his palms, smiling thinly at
him to which Jeongguk smiles back, moving his hands down to hold him around his
waist.
Jimin turns to the principal, becoming too quiet for a while after the shocking
scene happened right in front of everyone. “Now you know all this, you can’t
put all the blame on Taehyung. He’s just working there but his safety is still
on risk because of that monster you hired as the instructor in this school.”
The man looks over at him, Taehyung and Jeongguk, sighing at last.
“We’ll reconsider this matter, but may I ask something? Why are you two so
invested in this problem? It concerns none of—”
“Kim Taehyung isn’t just a student, he’s my best friend. I can’t let him live
in such injustice.”
“Jiminie…” Taehyung lets go of Jeongguk for him to go over and give his best
friend a hug. Jimin chuckles, patting his head before he glances at Jeongguk.
“I’m sure he’s doing it for the same reason.”
Jeongguk clears his throat, face tight as he levels a serious look to the
principal. “Aside from injustice, I won’t let anyone hurt the person I love the
most.”
The principal and the teachers blink at him, losing idea of what to say upon
such a brave admission but Jeongguk pays no mind for them as he chooses to turn
back at Taehyung.
“Are you okay?” He asks, checking Taehyung up and down as if what just happened
could physically hurt him. Taehyung wants to tell him everything hurts,
especially his heart. Yet he opts to respond with his own question. “Did you
really break into his house to find all the evidence?”
Jeongguk grins, uncharacteristically shy for his heroic action. “Yeah, but it’s
a long story and it’s funny too. Hobi hyung—”
“I told you not to risk yourself with anything!” Taehyung grumbles, not giving
him chance to avert the topic to somewhere else.
“And I told you to trust in me,” Jeongguk whispers back, gently. “I only want
you to always be safe. Is that even a problem?”
“No…”
“Then just be happy. You can finally feel relieved now. He’s staying behind the
bars and if you don’t wanna give testimony, we can always ask the other boy to
explain on behalf of the case.”
“The other boy?”
Jimin answers this time, “Another boy. The one Mr. Kang has as his new target.”
“God, that’s fucking horrible,” Taehyung mumbles to himself, couldn’t believe
all of this.
“It is,” Jeongguk agrees as he picks his hands up into his. “That’s why I have
to do something. I have—”
“I love you so much, Jeon Jeongguk. Thank you.”
It’s the last thing he mumbles to his boyfriend before Taehyung’s taking his
hands out of Jeongguk’s hold for him to cup his face and kiss him, wet with
tongue and tears, in front of the fucking school.
Principal and all.
It doesn’t matter. Taehyung tells himself it doesn’t matter.
Because this is gonna be the last time, and he probably wouldn’t meet someone
like Jeongguk again to kiss a person with so much love cramping his chest like
now.
So he cherishes it and kisses him deeper.
This is the last.
===============================================================================
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
“Do you want to go back to Daegu with me, Taehyung? Be a family again?”
Chapter End Notes
     I know. It's confusing. But yes, his father finally wakes up and what
     have he told Tae that caused him to finally make the decision? That
     will be explained right in the next chap. And yes, Mr. Kang has found
     the ending he deserves. No more of him pestering this story after
     this. ^^
     And since we're so close to the ending, I shall reveal the REAL SMUT
     from our beloved taekook right? Yeah, stay tuned for it in the next
     chap...along with the biggest angst fest. Bye!
***** More than this thing we used to call Us (1) *****
Chapter Notes
     Fuck writer's block, fuck it harder when it had to come right in the
     middle of me, writing in the most important chapter of this story. :)
     But I'm alive, barely had time to survive between work and finishing
     this story and still, I made it to finish half of this chapter. Why
     only half? Because writing the full confrontation is hard and with
     real life work being a bitch, I usually just ended up deleting half
     of what I've written so far. Thus, it brings me to this decision to
     split chapter 12 into two parts just so y'all know I'm still writing
     this story and not die. :DDDD I think it's good to split it, just to
     prepare y'all for the thunderstorm to come after all the fluff in
     this chap. IF, you can consider smut as fluff. *winks*
     Enjoy reading my child! Sorry for being late like I always do. ^^
See the end of the chapter for more notes
“Do you want to go back to Daegu with me, Taehyung? Be a family again?”
“I don’t know. Should I? Will we be happy? Is there such thing as you promising
                                                     us you won’t leave again?”
“I can’t promise you laughter everyday. I won’t, because things don’t happen
that way. But I can promise you I’ll try everyday to be there for each one of
you. For you, for your sister and brother. I’m right here to stay, not to leave
again. Trust me on this, Tae.”
                                                        “I don’t know. I just…”
“You just?”
                                                   “…I really miss our family.”
“Me too. So let’s start again in Daegu. Just me, you and our family.”
                                                   “Yeah…Maybe we should, dad.”
===============================================================================
 
Everything about Taehyung fills Jeongguk in with fondness.
Even his grandma. To others, it might sound creepy. To him, it sounds just
right. Because he loves him that much, and Jeongguk just couldn’t help loving
even a part of Taehyung that isn’t physically associated with him. Like his
grandma.
He barely even knows her, just from the occasional chirpy sounds of his mother
telling him tales about ‘my friend this, my friend that…’ ringing at the back
of Jeongguk’s mind as he recalls those times she relayed the stories to him. He
remembers her through what had Mrs. Jeon described of her, through how this old
lady has always been warm and kindhearted to her, and how she’s made her times
here in this retirement home ten times better than it already was.
But if there’s a part of her that Jeongguk likes the most—aside from the
exciting stories about her and their warm first meeting a couple of months
before—then it must be her smile. Like now, when she catches sight of him from
a bench across of where Jeongguk is standing and stretches her mouth into that
radiant smile. Rectangular in shape and adoration in Jeongguk’s heart. She
mirrors Taehyung so much with that kind smile and familiar gentle gaze.
And everything about Taehyung relates to softness and love.
Jeongguk couldn’t believe how whipped he is.
“Hannie’s boy?” Mrs. Kim asks, body hunched forward a bit in her apparent
excitement receiving unexpected visit from Jeongguk. “You’re Hannie’s son, am I
right?”
Jeongguk replies her wide grin with his own, walking forward until he can stand
in front of her. “Yes, grandma. You remember me?”
The lady laughs with her hand swatting the side of Jeongguk’s wrist, eyes
playful as she looks up at him. “Oh, please! Your big, big eyes are obviously
the same as hers, no point guessing!”
“I’m glad you noticed, grandma,” he gestures to the empty space beside her.
“Can I have a seat?”
“Sure! Come on, come on!” She pulls Jeongguk down before eyeing the park around
them, trying to detect the presence of another person she’s expected to come
with him. “What brings you here? Where’s your mom,...”
“Just call me Jeongguk,” he adds once she trails off, obviously trying to put
his face with a name.
“Yes, yes! Jeongguk. Aish, pardon my forgetful mind. It’s a part of being old,”
she teases through another chuckle, suddenly looking bashful. Jeongguk shrugs,
deciding to join in with her game.
“You don’t look that old to me, grandma.”
It’s true. Despite the white grayish hair somewhere along the tips of her hair
and the wrinkles at the back of her hands and the corners of her eyes,
Taehyung’s grandma still has a certain volume to her face. It is not exactly
obvious yet the hint under her heartwarming smile and kind eyes enough to tell
Jeongguk what a beauty she was—still is, even with increment in her age. 
“I am?” She cups her cheeks into her palms, as if to hide the blush coloring on
them. “Oh, beware of that sweet mouth! My grandson isn’t the cutest when he’s
jealous!”
It is meant to be another teasing remark, yet Jeongguk can’t stop the sudden
stiffness coming up to engulf his spine the moment he hears it. He’s aware of
the fact this woman knows how Taehyung and Jeongguk are going to the same
school, knows there’s something definitely ringing more than just friends
between them. Yet to actually hear from her acknowledging it out loud is
another feeling.
It simply serves to remind Jeongguk of how true his relationship is with
Taehyung, how almost everyone knows they’re together but none of them
understands or sees this unbelievably huge and tall invisible wall they have in
between them. The wall that also called itself fate when it decides out of
nowhere to tangle Jeongguk’s life to Taehyung’s with more than one
complication. He hates how life always has that strange power to fuck with
people, to fuck with him.
Jeongguk gives Mrs. Kim a wary glance, isn’t sure if the lady would be okay
with him being with Taehyung. “You…You know about us?”
Mrs. Kim tuts, reaching forward to bop the tip of his nose with a finger
affectionately. “Sweetie, when two ladies become best friends, there’s no such
thing as secret. We share gossips all the time,” she offers as a way of
explanation and Jeongguk breathes out in relief, taking the playful glint in
her gaze as her acceptance to what Jeongguk and Taehyung are.
“I see. Well unfortunately, my mom can’t come this time. But I brought you
this,” he decides to avert the topic to something else, finally placing a
container of japchae onto her lap. “She told me it’s your favorite.”
“Oh,” Mrs. Kim eyes the small gift with unexpected but very much welcomed
happiness. “Ever the kind hearted Hannie. Send my regard and thanks to her.”
“I will.”
“How’s she? Is there improvement in her condition?”
That question opens the path right where Jeongguk’s heading, slipping the smile
off his face and straightening his body to a guarded posture.
“This is why…I’m here today,” he says, certain hardness shows through his eyes
that it causes Mrs. Kim to put the container beside her and turn to give her
undivided attention to him. “Sounds heavy. Let’s hear it, young man.”
“I just…wanna know how did you two start being friends? Was it in this place?”
“Yes,” she answers without needing to question why Jeongguk’s chosen to know
the matter from her, when he obviously could have asked it straight from his
mother. “It was about a year and half before when she first came here for a
charity. We met each other and started sharing stories. But then it became
regular when your mother spent almost every weekend doing her weekly
volunteerism here. We just naturally got close.”
Jeongguk nods slowly, trying to rearrange the timeline in his head of those
times he’d spent his weekend at the dance studio while Mrs. Jeon was here,
growing friendship with this woman before him. He looks up to follow Mrs. Kim’s
finger once she’s pointing at a building to their left.
“See that cafeteria?” Jeongguk nods again. “It wasn’t there before during my
earliest years here. It was Hannie who donated the money and built it. She
thought we old folks needed a quiet place to unwind with evening tea and all.
Your mother has always been that thoughtful.”
Jeongguk doesn’t realize it when he already has a smile plastered across his
face. He knows that too well. His mother has always been that person with so
much vision in her mind. She’s indeed a huge fan of long term plans since she
puts the aim in whatever she does, it needs to last long and have the impact
upon almost everyone. Mrs. Kim is all about making future a better place.
Yet it crushes Jeongguk’s heart to know she changes the future of so many
lives, but not hers. Not the one that really matters. Mrs. Kim continues when
Jeongguk stays quiet, too caught up in thinking about his mother.
“I once told her, with her health condition, she should use her weekend to rest
in and not do all this. Yet in return, do you know what she told me?”
Jeongguk glances up, already could feel sadness breaking into the air around
them. “What, grandma?”
“She said the fact that she was sick, she knew that someday she’d leave this
world, made her want to give the others so much more. She said there was no use
just lying in bed and mourning something she couldn’t change anymore. So she
came here, volunteered for anything and gave to people as much as she can. As
long as she still has time and chance,” Mrs. Kim finishes with a thin smile of
her own, small yet heavy at the same time. “Rare human being, isn’t she?”
The rarest, in fact. Somewhere far at the back of Jeongguk’s mind, he
understands death is inevitable. No matter how long or short, twisted or
simple, sorrowful or joyful someone’s life is, he knows everyone is heading
towards the same ending. That is to die. It is such a funny equation yet a
blunt way to summarize it that everyone was born to die. Somedays, sometimes.
They will have their own turn.
But to know his own mother meets her death with sickness that couldn’t be
helped? That’s just pure cruel.
Jeongguk knows the ending. He knows one way or another, he’ll still need to
face the fact that his mother won’t have forever to be with him. But maybe it
isn’t just about the ending. It’s about the story, her story.
Why should death take his mother away and end her story so early when she could
be saved? Why should it be happening that way when Jeongguk knows there is
other alternatives and chances to prolong her life?
Jeongguk would rather die now than not trying at all.
So with a hard breath threatening to choke him, he slips the question through
his mouth, eyes glistening as he stares over at Mrs. Kim. “Don’t you think she
deserves to live?”
The lady sighs, “More than anyone else, Jeongguk. More than anyone else.”
“The doctor confirmed she has about less than three months, grandma.”
Jeongguk declares it out loud and watches how realization slowly dawns upon her
face, how a small gasp makes it through her mouth, how she brings quivering
hands up to cover it and how her entire face twists in a way that he can only
describe it as clear sympathy.
“Oh god…” is the only thing she could say. And yes, God, why is this happening
to him? To all of them? Why is this so hard to deal with?
Jeongguk glances up to the skies above them as if something up there could
throw down an easy answer to him, as if this isn’t the rubric cube that
Jeongguk’s got to solve on his own. He stops the sob from coming out. “I
want…so badly for her to live.”
“But there’s still no news for donor?”
And there it is. The goddamn matter with the donor.
“We have…We found a donor already. In fact, not just a donor. A family of
donors with their inherited blood type,” Taehyung and Taerie come to his mind
and Jeongguk is pushed with the urge to cry all over again. He doesn’t know why
everything makes him feel so weak lately.
A hand touches the back of his palm and Jeongguk looks up to Mrs. Kim giving
him a confused look. “Isn’t that good, darling?”
“I don’t think so, grandma,” because here it is. Here is where he will tell her
everything wrong in this gigantic problem he’s having in his life now. “Those
donors, they’re underage. They need consent from their parents or guardian to
make the transplant legal.”
“And you couldn’t get the consent?” Jeongguk shakes his head with a heavy
heart. “Why?”
“Because their father is coma and their mother is dead.”
Another statement, another fact, another stab to his heart. Everything about
Taehyung fills Jeongguk in with fondness. Everything about Taehyung also ruins
him in the worst way possible. It’s a torture that stings Jeongguk at the back
of his eyelids, threatening to break the dam in there because what else can he
do but cry?
“Poor kids…” Mrs. Kim says as she caresses his skin lightly, trying to comfort
him when she doesn’t know those kids are actually her kids. Her very own
grandchildren. Jeongguk hates how everything is unfair in this. “I’m so sorry,
Jeongguk-ah. I wish there was something I could do to help you. I want Hannie
to be alive too.”
Slowly locking eyes with her, Jeongguk takes one swift, deep breath, steadying
his rapidly thumping heart because what he’s about to say will change
everything. What he’s about to do promise things to either be better or worse.
But he wants to try.
He has to try.
No matter how unfair this will sound, no matter how selfish he will come out,
Jeongguk would rather die now than not trying at all.
Through one exhale, he says it. “There is something you can do to help…”
Mrs. Kim blinks slowly, bewildered. “What—”
“But I’m not sure whether you would agree or not…Cause this would sound unfair
for your side.”
“What do you mean, son?” Her voice has changed from sympathetic to uncertain
now.
Jeongguk grits his teeth, feeling like he’s chewing on rocks as he’s uttering
it out loud. “Grandma, those kids I talked about were your grandchildren.”
There’s silence for a while, just light breeze blowing around them and the
distant sound of water flowing from the fountain at the center of the garden
yet in Mrs. Kim, there’s nothing else. She stares and stares upon Jeongguk
until it forces him to wrench his eyes away, unable to look straight at her,
unable to bear the guilt gripping hard at his chest like a ball of steel being
placed in there. He isn’t sure whether she heard him right or not so to make it
clear, Jeongguk tells her again—tells her without looking in her eyes because
he is a sad coward, a coward who deserves no help yet still wants it so much.
“They’re Taehyung and Taerie. They have the matching blood type as my mother
but—”
“Their father is coma and their mother is dead?”
Jeongguk’s heart sinks entirely down beneath this bench they’re sitting on,
cracking so loud into pieces and shattering everywhere, such a mess over the
ground. Not once, not even once that he bothers to pick them up. He doesn’t
even give them any look as the only thing he could do is break into tears.
Crying like the coward, selfish and weak boy he is.
Jeongguk finally looks back at Mrs. Kim but all he can see is a thick layer of
blurriness. Tears, his tears everywhere.
“I’m so sorry, grandma.”
Jeongguk hates how terrible his voice wavers, hates how Mrs. Kim is looking at
him with that unreadable, hard look as if he’s crazy to be crying like this, as
if he has no right to cry, not when his father is the one doing all this awful
things to them, to the Kim family.
“I know,” he tries hard to breathe, trying to wipe as much tears as possible
from his cheeks with the sleeves of his button down but no matter how desperate
he tries, the dam couldn’t be stopped. It keeps on leaking more and it’s
Jeongguk who half dead trying to speak over all these running emotions. “I know
this is a selfish request. I know I’m being cruel for asking this from you but
please, grandma, I’m begging you. Please give the consent for Taehyung or
Taerie to become my mom’s donor. Please, grandma. Please, I—”
“How did you know about what happened to their parents? How did you know about
what happened to my son?” The lady opens her mouth at last, voice remains soft
despite the growing pain in her eyes.
Jeongguk shakes his head. She doesn’t deserve any of this.
“It’s—It’s a long story…”
“I want to know it all. Please, Jeongguk,” she pleads, quiet and vulnerable
that Jeongguk almost takes it all back, wants to just shut his mouth and
protects her from knowing all the ugly shits his father has done to this
woman’s family.
But Mrs. Kim reaches forward to him and cradles his hand into both of hers,
holding him with gentle warmth that Jeongguk can’t stop his heart from breaking
all over again. She gives him a pained smile. “Five years. Five years I live in
here, alone, wondering where my son and his wife are and now you just come here
to tell me this? I need to know what happened.”
“I’ll tell you everything,” Jeongguk gives in. “It started with my dad.”
They’re both quiet for a moment. Jeongguk isn’t sure where to begin while Mrs.
Kim with that look as if she wants to know but not yet ready with what she
would hear.
“I’m not sure how he found your son but from there, he knew his blood type
matched my mom. It just that, Mr. Kim was already comatose so he can’t undergo
any transplant. So my dad searched his background and found out about you.”
“Me?”
“Without my mom knowing, he suggested to her to come and do her charity here so
he can get her to be close to you. To learn more about your family and
that’s…that’s when he found out about Taehyung.”
It’s been such a long journey since then, how he never aware of their tangled
life. Taehyung—the boy he loves the most, the boy who owns his life—was
supposed to be a mere tool for his father to save his wife. Taehyung was the
boy he hated. He decided to get into his life to complete his revenge but look
where it got them now. He’s met with the most beautiful, wonderful thing in his
life. But with what cost?
This. This complicated arrangement between them. This secretive, long plan that
his father started with the only goal to save his mother yet it’s ruined so
many people along the way. Especially Taehyung and him.  
“Now that he knew Taehyung and Taerie are both qualified as donors, he wanted
to use them. He wanted to fabricate the consent because their father still
doesn’t wake up but I can’t do that. I can’t do that to Taehyung or his sister
or any of your family. I can’t—”
He stops through a loud sob, winded breathless by the tears, sadness and
despair in him upon remembering the possibility of betraying Taehyung that way,
remembering how utterly shocked and disappointed he would be once he knows
every single truth about this.
“I can’t hurt any of you like that…” Jeongguk admits, quiet but desperate. “But
I want my mom to be saved. I want her to be alive. Like you said, she, of all
people, deserves to live long. I asked my dad to search for other donors but
we’re running out of time. We—we don’t have enough time, my mom’s dying and I—”
Jeongguk stares over at her, clutching her hands tighter and squeezing them
firmly no matter how undeserving of him for her mercy and understanding.
“Please,” he begs, trying his hardest one more time. “Grandma, I’m begging you.
I know what my father has done to your family is cruel. It’s not fair. And I’m
really, terribly sorry but I just—I couldn’t find another way…”
He couldn’t find another way to fix this situation. He doesn’t know where else
could he find a donor for his mother within such a short time and he would
never, ever in his life lie again to Taehyung or Taerie just to own that
privilege of having them as Mrs. Jeon’s donor.
So this is his way. This is how he tries to solve everything, to choose the
right way by telling the truth to Taehyung’s grandma and properly asking for
her consent but after everything that had happened, does he and his family
still entitle for any kind of forgiveness?
Jeongguk shakes his head through his flowing tears because no, they deserve
none. They should just leave this family alone, he should just let go of
Taehyung but—
“Your grandchildren are the one who can save my mother. So please, please, let
them be her donor. Let them help her. Please, I’m begging you.”
But no matter how hard Jeongguk is pleading, no matter how repetitive his words
get, all Mrs. Kim does is study him with a long stare. She says nothing,
doesn’t even hold Jeongguk’s hand with a little bit of energy as she simply
keeps it there for the sake of not rudely pushing him away.
So Jeongguk pulls his hands off her hold, wipes his tears and about to
surrender to the fact that no human is kind enough to forgive the mistakes and
lies done by his family but only then, the lady questions him. “Can I see him?”
Jeongguk stops, disoriented for a minute of what she’s talking about amidst the
throb of his head from how hard he’s crying. So Mrs. Kim repeats it again,
clearer this time. “My son…Can I see him?”
Jeongguk sniffs, recalling the image of Mr. Kim lying lifeless over the white
bed. It isn’t the most ideal image to be met with after so many years not
seeing someone but he’s done hiding. He’ll give Taehyung and his family
whatever they want this time no matter how difficult it is. “I’ll bring you to
see him, if that’s what you want.”
“I want…I want to meet him so terribly.”
“Then I—”
“Hannie is a good person, and my best friend…” she cuts him off with that soft
admission, eyes distant like she’s recalling the times she’s spent being
friends with his mother. “She listened to my stories and feelings when no one
else did. She kept me company…But if she came here upon your father’s
suggestion, there’s a probability she already knew his plan—”
“My mom would not do that,” Jeongguk shivers a bit at how firm his voice rings.
Yet he stands his ground, staring straight at her calculated look to show her
that among all the lies, this part about his mother is one of the guaranteed
truths.
“I know her. She wouldn’t even be here in the first place if she knew it was
just to get to her donor. You said it yourself, she never bothered of finding
the ways to save herself. She bothered to help others. She bothered to help
you. She wouldn’t do something like that.”
He doesn’t know how far he could convince her, doesn’t even know if she still
has heart to trust anything that is related to his family. But then she breaks
their eye contact and sighs, the sound heavy with realization.
“I trust her.”
They’re just simple words. Just three short words, but it’s all that Jeongguk
is so grateful about until he barely thinks of it when he leans forward and
engulfs the woman with his arms, sobbing into her shoulder and thanking her
again and again.
It is only after a few quiet and stretchy minutes later that her hands come up
to embrace him back, patting Jeongguk on his nape and relief entirely washes
over him. When he lets her go, Jeongguk dares himself to meet her gaze to ask
the selfish question one more time, to put his luck on risk one last time;
“So will you, give the consent?”
===============================================================================
 
“Oh God, is that stripper? What the fuck they have private sections for lap
dance? Wait, wait, Jeonggukie! Don’t walk too fast! I can’t see clearly it’s
too dark in here!”
Jeongguk hisses through his gritted teeth. He wants so much to speed forward,
keeps on walking instead of slowing down for that noisy mouth behind him. But
if he leaves Hoseok now and loses him among the thick crowd in this club, Jimin
would definitely bitch about it. That’s the last the thing he would want to
happen tonight after his sweetheart, Taehyung, has so enthusiastically invited
them to watch his performance.
So here they are, 7 pm on dot from their respective house before he collected
Hoseok earlier by the back entrance where a guard there already had been told
of their presence and had easily let them in. The only problem is once they
step deeper into the club is Hoseok’s inability of keeping his mouth shut and
being amazed at every goddamn activity happening around them. Jeongguk catches
Hoseok’s exaggerated gasp once more and that’s it, he’s spinning around so fast
the elder almost bumps straight into his chest.
Hoseok releases a high pitched whine while Jeongguk glares at him. 
“Hyung, for real, have you not been to any club? You’re older than me,” he
comments loudly over the thundering music around them to which Hoseok rolls his
eyes.
“I’ve been to cheap bar and the parties I used to attend are college parties.
They’re cheap, nothing extravagant!” Hoseok defends himself of why every single
movement and sight in here got his eyeballs almost pop out of their sockets. He
further proves his point by staring at a group of people passes them by with
fancy drinks clutched in their hands, face already too excited for Jeongguk’s
distaste. “I bet the drinks are expensive. Are you drinking later? Would you
buy me some?”
It’s Jeongguk’s turn to widen his eyes at him. “Hyung, there’s a reason why I’m
calling you hyung!”
“Well don’t blame me when you were so slow in coming out of your mom’s vagina,”
Hoseok snorts nonchalantly. “And as a fucking son of a hospital’s director to
that. Don’t be stingy about your money.”
Jeongguk is about to rebut Hoseok with his own smart sarcasms yet he’s stopped
with an arm wrapping around his shoulder, frowning to his side where a tall man
with grey blond hair already flashes his dimpled smile at them.
“Hey, you two are here!” Hoseok is only too joyous to see him, holding his fist
up to be bumped with Namjoon’s as bro-for-life greeting. “Joonie! Another one
of my wallets, would you buy me a drink?”
The DJ simply chuckles, not at all irritated or baffled by the shameless
request from his roommate. “Sorry, bro. That trick has long since died on me.
Now, come with me. Jimin and Taehyung asked me to show you guys to your booth.”
“We get our own booth?” Hoseok asks with a wide grin, bouncy on his steps all
the way they’re following Namjoon.
“Yep, special treatment from our best dancers,” Namjoon informs and he
whistles, clutching his hands to his chest as if to show how awed and touched
he is of the offer. “Oh I love my baby Jiminie.”
Fucking drama queen, his mind grumbles to him but Jeongguk keeps that to
himself. Simply saying, “You just love free things.”
“That too,” of course, Hoseok doesn’t deny it.
They’re led to enter the VIP section where all the booths are separated by
tiny, round stages that people need to climb about two short stairs before
reaching the seats and a table by the center, all glowing with colorful lights
under the glass. Namjoon is already smiling to someone while they climb up to
their booth and only once he steps aside that Jeongguk stops walking, surprised
to see Seokjin sitting crossed legs at the very center of the long sofa.
“Seokjin hyung?” The man glances up to him, curves a smile and never fails to
look unfairly handsome and expensive even without his usual suit and tie. He’s
dressed casually tonight, like a man who’s really looking forward to party and
socialize in here with a skin-tight V-neck shirt—which does nothing to hide his
wide chest and even wider shoulders—and a pair of simple ripped jeans. His
black leather jacket is thrown so carelessly to a side next to his thigh. He
has his hair down, dripping messy over his eyes instead of his day-to-day
styled up professional fashion.
“Urm, I hope you don’t mind my fiancé joining in for the night?” Namjoon seems
bashful, very uncharacteristically of him at addressing the gorgeous man as his
fiancé despite the hint of proudness radiating from his huge smile.
“Not at all! It’s like a gathering!” Hoseok answers for them, too excited to
shove himself down on the sofa and gush at how smooth the padding under his
butt is to notice the sudden stiffness around Jeongguk, how awkwardly he
shifts, avoiding Seokjin’s eyes and clearing his throat as Namjoon steals a
quick peck from Seokjin before leaving the booth.
“Sit down, Jeongguk,” Seokjin sounds so calm, nothing authoritive or ordering
in his tone. Yet there’s something about the way he picks his champagne flute
up, sipping on it and talking to Jeongguk without sparing him even a glance
that causes the younger to sit the fuck down.
He takes a calming breath. Jeongguk knows he shouldn’t be acting this way
around Seokjin. His relationship with the elder has always been an easy one.
All the while Jeongguk has no other sibling to share his stories to, Seokjin
would the person to be there for him. He’s like a brother to Jeongguk, taking
care of him and making sure he’s functioning like a normal teenage along the
times his mother caught up in the hospital and his father was too busy to even
sit together with him over a dinner. Jeongguk always appreciates Seokjin’s
presence in his life despite knowing the man serves his father as one of his
important right men.
Just lately, everything is complex in his life. Including Seokjin. Being around
him proves to be more difficult than Jeongguk has anticipated after knowing the
matter between his father and Taehyung. He’s aware, somehow, Seokjin has always
known what his father has in store for this plan and Jeongguk finally
understands why Seokjin had once asked him to break up with Taehyung.
All because leaving the boy is way easier than dealing with the truth once he’s
known of it.
Seokjin took care of him, in his own subtle way yet Jeongguk can’t help feeling
a little mad. Seokjin should have stopped his father when he knew his plan
right from the beginning. However he’s gone along with it until today. Jeongguk
has a thousand questions for him, wants to know every single detail that made
the elder choose to help his father but he figures Taehyung wouldn’t want the
mood to have fun tonight be ruined by anybody.
So when Hoseok opens the conversation to chase away the loud silence among
them, Jeongguk is silently thankful of him.
“How did you two know each other?” He points from Seokjin to Jeongguk, has
always known Seokjin as his roommate’s fiancé but never as someone familiar to
his best friend.
Seokjin twirls his flute in between long fingers. “I’m working for his dad.”
“Really? As a doctor?”
“Nah, as his father’s PA.”
Hoseok makes a face while Jeongguk uncomfortably tries to decide between
reaching for a glass of juice or beer in front of him. “Honestly? What the
fuck, that’s terrifyingly weird. No coincidence at all.”
“Yeah, I agree,” Seokjin nods through a chuckle. It sounds light yet Jeongguk
somehow hears the sarcasm in it, as if he’s mocking the fate from how funnily
strange it can connect people.
“But I heard you’re getting married with Namjoon soon. Congrats!”
This snaps Jeongguk up from staring holes on the table in between them,
narrowing his eyes at Seokjin.
“Thank you,” the oldest cheers his drink once with Hoseok before turning to
Jeongguk when he asks “You are?”
Seokjin doesn’t nod to confirm it. He simply shows him a thin, sincere smile.
“Finally, isn’t it?”
“Have you told my father about it?”
“Not yet. But I figure by the time he knows, he won’t be needing my service
anymore.”
“Why is that?”
“I plan to quit. Just settle down, somewhere…Maybe start to open my own bakery
or restaurant. I love cooking, you know,” Seokjin is saying it in a way that
seems playful but Jeongguk can still tell once this man’s decided on something,
he won’t be the type to back out on it.
Hoseok laughs. “Wow, that’s a huge transition.”
“It happens sometimes in life. I need to be open for big changes if I wanna
live the way I want to,” this time, he’s directing it straight at Jeongguk, not
at all hiding the deep meaning behind his words as he stares upon the youngest,
waiting with a small smile of what would be Jeongguk’s reaction. “Don’t you
think so, Jeonggukie?”
Said boy could only reply his question with silence. Accepting the big changes
in this context also means by the choices he needs to make between Taehyung and
his mother that will heavily impact his life afterwards. One way or another,
it’s true that Jeongguk has to choose. But what if he doesn’t want to? What if
he chooses both?
Jeongguk doesn’t make it to open his mouth, distracted by two people climbing
up their booth while they look up in time Namjoon is pushing someone shorter to
sit with them.
“Here, here! Sit with the guys,” the man is shoved down right next to him and
he’s smacked in the face with the annoyed eyes of someone he just recently
knew. “Yoongi hyung?”
“Taehyung and Jimin will be performing shortly, but feel free to order
anything. Just say their names, it will be on the house. I need to prepare for
my performance too so see yea! I love you, Jinnie!” Namjoon announces to them
in one short breath before rushing off to his way with too much flying kiss for
Seokjin. Jeongguk catches the unbearably soft fondness in the way Seokjin is
shaking his head, eyes still trained to the path Namjoon has disappeared to,
yet he chooses to let it pass and turns back to Yoongi.
“What are you doing here?”
The tiny male couldn’t look more confused than he already is, eyeing the club
as if he couldn’t remember how he ends up here. “I’m invited?”
“Woah, your tattoos are awesome! But you’re so small!” Here comes Hoseok,
inserting himself out of nowhere in between Jeongguk and Yoongi and it’s all
that Jeongguk could do to grunt and move aside to give him room while Yoongi
tries his hardest to dodge the (totally not creepy at all) way Hoseok is
hovering over him in awe of his body arts.
Seokjin laughs watching how Yoongi keeps on throwing helpless looks for
Jeongguk to take him away from Hoseok but the youngest can only sigh, knowing
too well Hoseok is unstoppable once he’s met someone interesting enough for him
to fuss over. The least he can do is take pity and open a proper introduction
among them.
“Everyone, this is Min Yoongi. Tae’s close hyung,” fortunately, it works in
turning Hoseok’s attention to him while Yoongi takes the chance to bolt to
Seokjin’s side of couch. “Yoongi hyung, this is Seokjin hyung. Hoseok hyung.
They’re Tae and Jimin’s friends.”
Hoseok straightens on his seat, huge grin already on his face. “Well, semi-
correction, I’m Park Jimin’s boyfriend,” he proudly announces while extending
out his hand to Yoongi. The other accepts it but not without a sly remark of
“Huh that punk managed to get himself someone to fuck?”
Hoseok gasps, utterly scandalized, “We haven’t done anything yet!” which
everyone ignores his dramatic reaction while Yoongi points back to where
Namjoon has brought him from. “And the skinny tall guy just now?”
“Skinny tall guy…ah Rapmon hyung? He’s—”
“My fiancé. But he’s also a DJ here, and a good friend of Taehyung and Jimin,”
Seokjin finishes for Jeongguk, smiling behind the rim of his flute at how
Jeongguk is shut with disbelief annoyance, as if he’s taken aback on how
Seokjin is not-so-subtly marking his territory as Namjoon’s man to this new
guy. Now Jeongguk admits it’s none of his business to stick his nose in
Seokjin’s love life yet the glint of possessiveness somehow got him shocked for
a second.
Yoongi, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to notice it from the way he simply
snorts and slumps his back against the seat, drawling a lazy “Superb. It’s gay
club in here, and I’m alone.”
That blunt comment should have bewildered everyone. Luckily it doesn’t when
Hoseok barks into laughter and gets up to snatch Yoongi out of the booth with
him.
“Aish, don’t be such a bummer! We’re here with you, you’re not totally alone!
Let’s go, I wanna grab a drink and you can help me choose—”
“But I—”
“I can drink! But nothing too heavy or I’ll collapse and I—”
“But we just know each other for two minutes?”
“So what? You look cute even with those tattoos and sulky face! Not scary at
all—”
“I’m not sulking—”
And the rest of their bickering dissolves into the fast beats of the music
surrounding them as the duo disappears to wherever Hoseok is taking them,
always with that rare talent of breaking people out of their shell which
Jeongguk isn’t sure to be thankful of or not. Because while he’s relieved
Yoongi’s got someone to accompany him, he’s now back to being alone and awkward
with Seokjin.
He clears his throat, gulping down more beer despite how Seokjin seems to raise
his eyebrow from the corner of his eyes at his disregard with underage
drinking. Jeongguk tries to distract himself by scanning the club, debating
whether to go and look for his boyfriend or let him prepare his performance in
peace until Hoseok stumbles back with Yoongi just in time the crowd roars with
loud cheering.
Their eyes all fall to the main stage ahead of them, Jimin and Taehyung clearly
booked just the perfect booth for them since the view is clear and wide in
front of their sight. It’s the DJ up there, rolling the plate with some sick
beat before grabbing the mic, ready to launch with his rap performance.
“Yeepeee go Kim Namjoon!” Hoseok hollers, lifting his glass high in the air
that it so narrowly almost splashes all over Yoongi who grunts in his attempt
to keep the other guy upright.
“Yah!” Yoongi pushes him to have a seat right next to Jeongguk but instead of
properly sitting, he dumps his weight straight onto his lap and Jeongguk
squeaks in surprise. “Sorry, kid! Didn’t see you there, it’s too dim!”
Hoseok obviously ignores Jeongguk’s hisses, not even a little bit affected as
the younger swats his hand away when he drops affectionate pats onto his
head—undeniably tipsy already. Yoongi clicks his tongue from the other side of
Jeongguk, head shaking with his eyes still cautious upon Hoseok in case he
decides to get into his space again.
“From where did you find such energetic guy?”
Jeongguk somehow laughs at this, amused on how Hoseok loses his coordination
just from a few shots in (because now he’s cheering for Namjoon loud enough to
allow heads turning to their booth). “He’s been that way since I first knew
him.”
Yoongi throws him a look, wanting to appear solemn yet come out as amusement
instead. “And you think that’s a good thing for Jimin?”
Jeongguk doesn’t get to say anything in return, distracted by the growing
noises to even try speaking over the claps and hollers as they surrender their
attention into watching Namjoon. He’s performing a song with sensual beats,
something titled as Trouble if Jeongguk heard it right earlier while four
backup dancers spice up the show—all sexy girls twirling their hips in nothing
but satin tank top, panties and high heels.
It’s all a perfect destruction, Namjoon wrecking the whole club through his
husky voice and deep, flawless English words that are far too erotic to even be
legal for public ears. Mesmerized by how smooth he’s rapping, Jeongguk has this
little wonder at the back of his mind of why the elder never considers
expanding his talent into a far more established industry. He turns to ask this
to Seokjin only to be stiffened once he catches glimpse of the fiancé’s face.
Seokjin’s still in his laid back position, having two arms spread wide by his
sides as he hangs them halfway over the back of the couch, eyes never once
avert away from the stage. Yet there’s something heavy in those pupils which
makes Jeongguk turn away at an instant. He gulps, feeling stupid of trying to
hide his warming cheeks since no one would even notice the blush rising there.
Yet looking at Seokjin feeling hot over Namjoon is bothering.
There’s no other way to put it and it feels too private to interject the mood
when Seokjin seems so focus in eye-fucking that guy on the stage. Not a proper
word, but that’s what he’s doing, gaze all firm and devouring upon none but
Namjoon while he gets all sweaty spitting fire through his rap. If the girls
rubbing their bodies up and down Namjoon and hugging him in a tangled mess of
strangely seductive choreo is enough to set the entire place all fire hot and
bothered, then they’re absolutely wrong since there’s still more for the night.
After the song fades away with Namjoon’s pants and deafening claps, the mood is
changed to a mysterious blend of dreamy and haunting melody from a piano,
bursting the crowd with renewed shouts and applauses as they welcome the next
two performers onto the stage.     
“Ohhh it’s starting! Guys, it’s their turn! My baby Jimin and Taehyungie!”
Hoseok announces on top of his lungs just to state the obvious as standing up
there are surely the said duo. Their outfits seem to theme around black and
washed out blue tonight as Jimin has a thin, see-through black tank top as his
top, fully intended in showing off his chest and abs in the midst of the
ghostly spotlight on them while he’s wearing a ripped jeans below, stuck like a
second skin around his thighs and ass with unzipped zipper being the fatal
point of his whole style—black underwear teasingly peeking in between it. The
club is losing its mind for his natural air of seductive and sweet, lifting his
small face to flash them one cunning smile, borderline a smirk before swiping
his hair off his forehead the way he always does in habit while he’s getting
into his position.
“Oh hyung’s so proud of you, baby. So pretty!” And honestly, Jeongguk doesn’t
blame Hoseok for swooning so shamelessly. Jimin islooking so attractive it
actually hurts a bit to stare too long on him.
But to say Jeongguk stops breathing upon the first stare on Taehyung would be
understatement of the year. His brain freezes for one quick, sharp second,
painfully slow in registering what Taehyung’s wearing and when it does
register, all wind is knocked into his chest and crashed hard in a form of his
racing heartbeats, sweats begin to leak through every pore Jeongguk has all
over his skin.
His sweetheart is barefooted, leaving people to admit their weird fetish while
staring on his dark skin contrasting so beautifully against the glowing white
light of the stage floor. His long legs are covered in baggy, jogger black
pants yet what makes the audience almost lose their shit is what underneath
those pants—it’s a fishnet tights that wrapped the whole of Taehyung’s exposed
midriff as the remaining top of his body is dressed in a cropped hoodie. It’s
long sleeves, and honestly goes well with the jogger pants yet the short length
of it barely concealing his boyfriend’s chest and his goddamn nipples from
everyone’s view. It gets Jeongguk so mad he could jump straight to the stage
just to snatch him away right now.
And god, when his gaze finally climbs up to his face, his darling already has
eyes glued on no one but him. No one but Jeongguk. There’s something satisfying
to know he’s up there for the attention of everyone yet Jeongguk is the only
one who secretly gets his full attention in return. The glint in his eyes is
dangerous, because instead of the usual dark brown, Jeongguk finds himself
drowning into a pair of ocean blue lens, glimmering dark under the disco lights
with all dirty intentions too bad for Jeongguk’s heart.
He tries to react something, to maybe encourage his boy with a smile yet before
he even begins, Taehyung tilts the corner of his mouth into a tiny smirk and
something leaps out of Jeongguk’s chest—maybe his heart, maybe his sanity,
maybe both. When Taehyung brings his right hand up to his lips, Jeongguk hears
his own gasp slips through his mouth, too shocked to see his long, beautiful
nails are painted black as Taehyung holds a cigarette in between them.
His boyfriend smiles again, this time taking the tip of the cigarette into his
mouth in agonizingly slow move and the sight drives Jeongguk’s mind blank in an
instant. He couldn’t peel his eyes away from Taehyung’s plump lips sucking the
head of the cigarette and how he’s dragging it in and out of his mouth with
each deep stroke. Jeongguk has to clench his fists as he starts to feel the
first sign of arousal in the pit of his stomach, and when he swallows he hopes
Taehyung doesn’t notice it from the club’s dim lightening. Fuck that cigar.
Fuck it harder because once Taehyung releases the smoke, grey thin air clouding
his face for a second, the next thing Jeongguk knows is Taehyung throws it down
to the roaring crowd and then Jimin is suddenly in front of him, back to
Taehyung as they grind upon each other with Taehyung’s hands trailing the front
of Jimin’s torso while Jimin grabs the back of his thighs, pushing his crotch
closer against his butt, they both moving in rhythm with Hey Violet’s Like
Lovers Do.
 
I see you watching me, eyes on your target
Mix drinks and smoke rings, it’s already started
It won’t be too long before me and you, are doing what lovers do
 
They get into the dance without any delay, filling each other’s space, their
hands everywhere on the other’s body, Jimin’s neck glistening with sweat
whenever he throws back his head, Taehyung’s smirk when he trails his hand with
light touches down the front of Jimin’s unzipped jeans, the thrusts of their
hips and the sway of their bodies; all of them makes Jeongguk squirms on his
seat, dragging the collar of his shirt away from his neck as the air gets all
too hot up his face.        
“Shi—shit…” He must be not the only one because as Hoseok cusses, his hand is
grappling for a random drink from the table before he downs it all in one fast
gulp, clearly feeling all dry and high from the captivating show.
 
Clothes on the floor, we exploring our bodies
Getting you off, is my new favorite hobby
Lipstick on your neck, brands like a tattoo
‘Cause that’s just how lovers do
 
What Jeongguk thinks to be the end of his torture once the song tunes to the
last note, turns out to be so out of his expectation. Because when the crowd
erupts into cheers and whoops, Taehyung and Jimin already face each other
before the shorter jumps into him, thighs closing around Taehyung’s waist,
hands grabbing fistful of his hair and next, they seal the whole performance
with a kiss—mouth to mouth there on the stage and Jeongguk swears he sees red
the moment he notices tongues blend in with the kisses.
All vanishes from his senses at once; standing ovation from the crowd, their
bombarding growls of Taehyung and Jimin’s name, the way the whole space
practically trembles with claps and the moment the kisses stop to allow Jimin
to lower back to his feet and take Taehyung’s hand in his for both of them to
bow in thanks of the crowd. Jeongguk, however, registers none of this in his
mind as his eyes trail like hawk for Taehyung all the way he’s making his way
down the stage, still somehow bowing and grinning to the people crowding his
space for his attention.  
“Kids sure know what they do,” probably Seokjin’s the one saying that, yet
Jeongguk can’t be too sure, doesn’t even want to turn and confirm it as he
jumps down the booth without a second thought.
He knows he’s acting solely on his raging impulses, moving before his brain can
even stop him. But rationality has long since gone from him right from the
moment Taehyung begun to shake his ass in those jogger pants so without sparing
himself time to regret this, Jeongguk’s already bursting into the back door
where the sign ‘STAFF ONLY’ being disregarded as no more than a mere stupid
board on a door. Not like Jeongguk even bothers to read it. He’s way, way more
focused on getting his hands on Taehyung and in the midst of pushing his body
around the other staffs, he finds his boyfriend talking to a man.
“Good job, V! You sure went hard tonight huh?” The man is huge, double the size
of Taehyung and Jeongguk combined all together as he talks through gravelly
tone, a cigarette stuck in between his lips and a goofy, borderline flirtatious
grin on Taehyung all the while he’s watching the boy down a big gulp of his
water, his whole face and neck still sweaty.
Taehyung just shrugs, seeming unfazed from the stunt he pulled on the stage
with Jimin just now as if he’s trained to drive everyone insane with his
performance. Which he did, because Jeongguk is so fucking mad right now and he
storms forward to get to him, catching Taehyung reply the other man with
“Thanks! Gotta make the last performance the best.”
“The last? What do you—”
They don’t get to dive more into the conversation, both are startled by
Jeongguk’s interruption as he locks Taehyung’s wrist into a firm grip and all
but drags him away, a little bit pleased once Taehyung does nothing to stop
him, blindly following Jeongguk even as the man back there is shouting for them
to stop.
He doesn’t know where he’s bringing them to, isn’t familiar of the corners and
turns of the club but once his eyes catch the first empty hallway with low
light and void of people, Jeongguk only awares of how he’s pushing Taehyung
against the nearest wall and cramping into his space, doesn’t even allow an
atomic air to flow in between their chests.
Taehyung laughs despite being manhandled, the deep sound serves as nothing but
to fuel the fire at the pit of Jeongguk’s stomach as his hands frantically come
up to cup Jeongguk’s jaw, glancing up at him through his eyelashes. “Hello to
you too, boyfriend.”
Jeongguk hisses, sharp and thorny like the way his own palms wrap around
Taehyung’s waist, the material of the fishnet tights slippery from Taehyung’s
still sweaty stomach. “What the fuck was going on up there? Why so much skin
showed? Where did the kiss come from? Was it your idea—”
He’s stopped with a muffled sound of his own yelp, feeling a brief pain spike
in him from the way Taehyung buries his fingers in his hair and yanks his lips
forward to cover his own. The roughness halts Jeongguk’s brain for a moment.
But then he remembers he’s kissing the same lips that were kissed by Jimin not
less than thirty minutes ago, and all hell breaks loose.
Taehyung sweeps only a shy peek of the tip of his tongue along the bottom of
Jeongguk’s lips but the younger is having none of the gentleness. He feeds a
frustrated groan straight into his boyfriend’s mouth, proudly taking his turn
in pulling a gasp from Taehyung once he pries his mouth apart with forceful
teeth and tongue. And suddenly, they can’t get enough of each other, Jeongguk
with how he alternates between licking on Taehyung’s tongue and biting his
plump bottom lip while Taehyung with how he goes total pliant under Jeongguk’s
administration, hands leaving desperate scratches in his hair and down along
his nape, releasing these sounds of soft moans until all that Jeongguk hears
ringing in his head and heart is him, him, him. Taehyung.
Taehyung is his and he wants to make sure his boyfriend get drunk on his kisses
alone. Jeongguk wants Taehyung to taste only him and have no single trace of
Jimin all over his mouth. His desperation must really come out loud and clear
to his boyfriend because Taehyung suddenly giggles into his mouth and pulls
away from him with one last lick over Jeongguk’s tongue.
“I love seeing you being so possessive,” he whispers with eyes dark and
inviting on Jeongguk, smirking as he reaches one finger up to disconnect a
string of saliva bridging their messy kisses before licks at that finger,
showing off the point that he can’t waste even a taste of Jeongguk. The stare
he gives Jeongguk gleams mischief. “Got me all turn on, honey.”
Jeongguk makes a pitiful grunt, tilting his head down to press their foreheads
together. “Stop saying things like that.”
Taehyung should neverbe warrant with permission to say things like that to
Jeongguk. Because he’s only a boy and with how far Taehyung has been testing
his patience tonight, Jeongguk knows his self-control can only last too long.
Taehyung laughs still, snaking his hands back around Jeongguk’s neck.
“Why? I’m not wrong, though,” he schools the innocence in his voice, eyes
telling Jeongguk the lie crystal clear as he opens his mouth to say something
but Taehyung once again silences him, thankfully with his finger against
Jeongguk’s mouth this time.
“Have no fear, Jeonggukie. None of those people gets me like this,” Taehyung
finally answers all his angry, frantic questions from earlier with his own
reassurance.
“They don’t get to hold me close,” he husks and proceeds to climb up Jeongguk’s
body until he can wrap both legs around his boyfriend’s waist, having full
trust in Jeongguk to hold his weight which he does automatically, hands secure
on his hips and his own body pushes Taehyung flushed to the wall to support him
there.
“They don’t get to kiss me,” Taehyung continues before leaning in to close the
gap, this time taking it slow and gentle with each press of his lips until
Jeongguk feels all his madness shift towards a different gear, no longer
burning from his jealousy but for something deeper, something more fatal and
entirely Taehyung. He can’t stop the whine from slipping out of him, chasing
for Taehyung’s lips once the elder pulls away to talk again.
“They don’t get to touch me the way you do, honey. Cuz I’m all yours,” he
concludes, quiet but brutally honest this time as he looks Jeongguk deep in the
eyes like he needs Jeongguk to believe him and he does. God, he does. Jeongguk
believes Taehyung is his so jealousy and anger can fuck off. Anything and
everyone else can fuck off. Taehyung belongs only to him.
“Yeah,” Jeongguk agrees, finally found his voice again despite how breathless
he feels from Taehyung’s admission. “Mine. All mine.”
Taehyung laughs, blue contacts shimmering in the darkness as he strokes
Jeongguk’s cheek for a while, just admiring his face like how Jeongguk can’t
take his eyes off his perfect features and beautiful boxy smile. Only when he
moves forward for another kiss, Jeongguk turns his face instead to land his
mouth on the edge of his jaw. Taehyung’s small whine only fuels Jeongguk’s
heart to skip one more racing beat than he has already been feeling all night
from the moment he first saw Taehyung.
“Why—”
“People can see you here,” Jeongguk reasons before he can even ask, soothing
Taehyung with one peck to his chin, then another to the tip of his cute nose.
Taehyung frowns.
“But I—”
“I don’t want them to see you this way. I don’t want them to even think of
you,” his desire of owning Taehyung only to himself overpowers everything as
Jeongguk becomes hyper aware of the open space, aware how anybody can walk past
this hallway and see how them both clinging to each other like this. And
despite being in a club where nobody gives a fuck about people getting off in
anywhere public, Jeongguk still refuses to share this moment with any outsider.
He nuzzles Taehyung’s neck, hiding his face there as he mumbles “Mine, Tae.
Only for me to see. Is there anywhere else we can go?”
Taehyung tilts his head to fall against the wall so Jeongguk can get the access
to his skin, sighing as he enjoys the small kisses Jeongguk litters there. “My
room is just back there in case you forgot.”
Jeongguk looks up to smile in satisfaction. “Perfect—”
“But we can’t go through the guard if you’re not a customer,” this somehow
halts his joy, bringing the frown to appear over his forehead as he
contemplates bringing Taehyung back to his own apartment. Yet he doesn’t have
enough time to consider it, because when Taehyung cups his face to direct them
eye to eye again, Jeongguk’s sanity slips bit by bit through the thin air from
his intent gaze.
“Pay me, Mr. Jeon,” his mischievous boyfriend whispers at him, even couples it
with a peck on his lips. “Pay me, and I’m all yours.”
“Well take anything you want,” Jeongguk plays along with his own seductive
tone, curving a smirk at Taehyung’s pleased grin. “My money, my heart.
Everything.”
Because this has always been a game the two of them love to play right from the
beginning, the playful one time push and two times pull harder for them to fall
back on each other. Taehyung always loves testing his limit while Jeongguk
doesn’t mind getting along with it. Taehyung grins wider and Jeongguk feels
that ever strong urge to swallow his beautiful smile once more.
Luckily he doesn’t have to because it’s Taehyung who leans in to speak against
his mouth, breath warm and addictive on his wet lips. “Just you. I want just
you, Jeongguk.”
“Just me?”
“You.”
Jeongguk nips his mouth, pride blooming in his chest at how Taehyung gives a
helpless moan at it. “Yours, Tae. Always.”
And there’s no more time wasted after that. Jeongguk doesn’t catch a single
word Taehyung’s saying to the guard as he’s way too busy peppering kisses along
his nape and the back of his shoulders while he’s latched on his back like a
permanent entity, doesn’t even care if the guard dubs him as a horny, impatient
guy as he pushes Taehyung forward as soon as they’re allowed in. Path to his
room takes longer than Jeongguk’s liking, or at least feels like it amidst his
desperation of getting all over Taehyung, that once Taehyung unlocks the door
with breathless laugh, Jeongguk pushes their bodies until they stumble inside
and slams the door close again with no more than a harsh kick. They might have
locked the door, or they don’t, yet none seems to bother with the idea of
anyone bursting into the room as all Jeongguk cares about is the way they fall
onto the bed and Taehyung writhing beneath him as Jeongguk cages him in.
He dives straight for his lips, kissing until Taehyung arches off the bed for
something more than just licking and sucking into each other’s mouth. Jeongguk
gets it, breaking the kisses with harsh breath and gripping his shirt at the
bottom of his nape to swiftly pull it over his head. It coaxes a cry out of
Taehyung once he lands his sight upon his bare chest and muscled stomach, palms
lay flat on it just to feel the rumble as Jeongguk grunts from the delicious
feeling of Taehyung’s warm touch.  
“Shit, you’re so hot,” Taehyung hisses into his mouth, kissing him again all
the while he travels his hand down the length of his torso, just for the sake
of touching and savoring the feeling before he stops by Jeongguk’s hips and
grabs them to pull Jeongguk low enough, meeting his own grind of hips. The
faint brush of their growing tent tumbles the groan out of Jeongguk’s mouth.
“Well you haven’t seen yourself yet,” Jeongguk whispers back at him, pulling
away to get rid of Taehyung’s cropped sweater so he can learn every inch of
Taehyung’s skin with the tips of his fingers and nearly die of craziness as
soon as he makes contact with fishnet hugging his boyfriend’s abdomen so
sensually.
“I’m hot?” Taehyung must have noticed the hunger in his eyes, Jeongguk can
practically hear his smirk from the tease in his question without having to
look up at him as he’s more focused to slip his hands down the net, pressing
into the softness of the skin under it.
“Not just hot…” he trails, honesty in his voice. “More pretty,” Jeongguk admits
as he peels the net downward with aching gentleness, heart bursting with love
from the way Taehyung lifts his hips without prompting so Jeongguk can take it
off along with his jogger pants, leaving him completely bare underneath
Jeongguk.
“Soft…” he plants the word on Taehyung’s smooth belly, kissing the skin and
feeling it clench as soon as Jeongguk opens his mouth to leave his first mark
on Taehyung for tonight. He loves Taehyung’s tummy so much. He loves how
pillowy the muscle is and he loves that when he nuzzles his nose against it,
Taehyung gasps and his fingers in Jeongguk’s hair tighten just a bit more.
“So beautiful…So beautiful, Tae,” he moves lower to the jut of his hip,
dropping the compliment on each skin that his lips travel on but just before he
can give the same treatment to the thigh, Taehyung’s pulling him up and
Jeongguk compiles without problem once his mouth is met into deep kisses once
more.
Taehyung pants, head falling back to the pillow, needing the air back into his
lungs as much as he can the moment Jeongguk rolls his hips down and both of
them keen upon the feeling of Jeongguk’s rough jeans meeting the skin of
Taehyung’s hardness. The friction is so, so addictive that Jeongguk wants to
rut some more but is halted when Taehyung clamps his thighs around his waist.
His hands come up to cradle Jeongguk’s face so they can stare on each other.
“We—we don’t have to do this if you’re not feeling safe. I understand I—”
“I want you,” Jeongguk’s quick to silence him, kissing Taehyung slow and gentle
just to reassure him how he’s ready for this to be happening. And how he wants
it to happen only with Taehyung. “I want all of you. Outside, inside, all over
you. Every inch of you.”
Taehyung goes completely still at that and Jeongguk gives all the time he needs
to read him, to truly understand that Jeongguk isn’t afraid of the fact
Taehyung has been a hooker for huge years of his life. He believes he’s clean
and Jeongguk wants to give up everything for him because he’s also just
Taehyung. He’s the Kim Taehyung he’s known and loved probably longer than the
time he took to admit it so there’s nothing to be afraid of. Taehyung to him,
has already stripped Jeongguk bare in ways that have nothing to do with taking
off his clothes.
So Jeongguk can share to him a piece of himself this much. He can.
And luckily Taehyung doesn’t second-guess him after that. Jeongguk doesn’t
second-guess himself either. He only sits up to his knees once Taehyung
silently directs him to do so and braces his hands upon his boyfriend’s
shoulders while Taehyung buckles off his belt and unzips the jeans for him to
pull it off. He has to stand all the way up by the foot of the bed to entirely
kick the cloth away from his feet yet before he can climb back into bed,
Taehyung already scoots forward on his knees and his hands curl the sides of
Jeongguk’s waist before he manages to even stop him.
Jeongguk frowns in question, words at the tip of his tongue before it’s all
disappeared once Taehyung lowers his head down and licks a broad strip up the
length of Jeongguk’s cock. The moan he releases is weak, knees almost buckling
forward as the hold Jeongguk has on Taehyung’s shoulders is all he has to keep
him steady on his feet.
Taehyung sucks him like that, mouth messy with precum and saliva as he worships
Jeongguk’s cock like he’s starved of it for years and works his boyfriend up
until he’s hard and heavy in Taehyung’s mouth, the tip of it hitting the back
of his throat and Jeongguk can’t help it. He can’t help the way he grunts so
loudly as his fingers fly into Taehyung’s hair, grips a handful of it and
thrusts just a bit deeper into Taehyung’s mouth to greedily lap up the
delicious heat.
Taehyung gags, almost chokes on mouthful of his boyfriend’s dick yet Jeongguk
stops him with a gentle grip of his hair before Taehyung can get too absorbed
in finishing him off this way. His mouth is stellar, being sucked by him is
drives Jeongguk with so much carnal hunger, except he will burst if this is the
only thing they keep on doing.
Once Taehyung has pulled off completely, leaving one more kiss at the tip of
Jeongguk’s length like he can’t help it, the younger boyfriend pushes him back
onto the bed. Taehyung directs him to where he keeps the condom and lube once
Jeongguk asks for them and only climbs again over Taehyung’s body when the
stuff ready in his hand.
He dumps the plastic by their side, moving to uncap the lube and pour a
generous amount of it onto three of his fingers, rubbing and warming them up
until the stickiness entirely coats his skin before he reaches for the first
digit in between Taehyung’s spread out legs.
“More…more,” Taehyung begs, eyes screwed shut and hands up to fist upon the
pillow on either side of his head with moans tumbling out of his mouth and
there’s nothing Jeongguk could do to deny him. He continues working him open
with the second and third finger, circling around the rim and thrusting deep
inside until Taehyung is a whimpering mess under him, head tossing side by side
and pants falling right from his chest as he shows Jeongguk how much he’s
desperate for more than his fingers.
And Jeongguk gets it, because he’s trudging on the sharp edge of insanity too
just from watching how beautiful Taehyung is. Laying like this beneath him; all
rosy cheeks, sweaty bangs and swollen lips—Jeongguk just wants to imprint these
images forever in his mind, tucking it in like precious little secret deep down
the bottom of his heart.
He loves him. Jeongguk is in love with Taehyung.
Just when he ever so gently pulls his fingers out of the marvelous heat and
rolls on the condom, Jeongguk moves forward to let both of Taehyung’s thighs
rest on either side of his waist yet he’s stopped midway of it, eyes cautious
on Taehyung in case his boyfriend wants him to stop.
“Jeonggukie, I—” But all he does is pushing up to his elbows and bringing
Jeongguk down until it’s him lying flat on the bed, Taehyung seems too short of
breath to speak yet forcing the words out all the same. “Let me…let me ride
you.”
And oh God does he wants him to. The thought of Taehyung sitting on his cock
like he owns it turns Jeongguk nothing more than a growling boy as he nods and
Taehyung swings a leg over his hips, hands upon the frantic rise and fall of
Jeongguk’s chest as he finds his stability up there quick enough before
reaching back to position Jeongguk where he needs him to be.
The first stretch of Taehyung’s tight rim around him is so powerfully
hypnotizing that Jeongguk moans loud enough to echo through the entire room and
his hands grasp his thighs, squeezing a bit to signal for him to slow down, to
not move so quick or else Jeongguk will be done just this way.
“Good?” Taehyung rasps from up there, hands massaging up and down his tensed up
pecs.
“So good, Tae…so—”
Only groan swallows up the rest of his words the moment Taehyung slowly and
carefully rises from his hips, bracing himself up for a few seconds just to
tease and watch Jeongguk’s face blaze for more friction. But when he lowers
back down with equal precision, grinding as far as possible, it sends Jeongguk
into a tailspin.
Jeongguk throws his head back, revealing sweaty neck with popping veins from
how good the heat is engulfing him as Taehyung taunts him with his continuous
grinding, repeating the torturous move over and over. The elder lifts himself
up once more and Jeongguk expects him to descend with the same slow-dying
movement. But Taehyung doesn’t. Instead, he knocks the wind right out of him as
he crashes down, completely impaling himself on Jeongguk’s cock. He roars,
flicking his hips up with bruising grip around Taehyung’s waist just to meet
him halfway, keeping his ass flushed on him just to feel arousal blazing hot
and thick under their skin.
“Jeongguk, I’m—I’m close—” His eyes snap open, desperation filling them as
Jeongguk stares up at him and knows he won’t endure this for much longer. Yet
Jeongguk reduces the rolling of their hips to a stop, cutting Taehyung’s sharp
whine off with “Don’t come yet.”
“But I—”
“Let’s come together,” Jeongguk murmurs while he shifts his body up to sit on
his heels, pulling Taehyung with him all the while they’re still connected to
straddle his lap instead.
“Lean back on your hands,” he orders quietly, his voice like gravel but soft as
he watches Taehyung does as he’s bid through intense eyes, Jeongguk moves his
spare arm to wrap under Taehyung’s waist, supporting him.
He thrusts back into him slowly on a rush of air, his lips parted and moist and
Taehyung moans in pure, delighted pleasure as Jeongguk fills him up to the hilt
once more, Jeongguk shifting his arms a little as Taehyung locks his legs
around his waist. Taehyung feels incredible around him that Jeongguk can’t keep
it any longer before he starts directing his hips around in slow, grinding
circles, lifting Taehyung up and smoothly before pulling him back down and
swiveling again.
“Jeongguk, honey, I love you…” Taehyung gasps through the words, face screws
with pleasure and pain as he’s lifted and lowered once more, the shimmer of a
slow-building, highly satisfying climax beginning to gather force for the both
of them.
“I love you too, baby,” Jeongguk answers in between his own grunts, watching
Taehyung’s face burn with passion, his chest undulating as he follows
Jeongguk’s guide of his body on him. Jeongguk leans down to sweep his tongue
across his slippery bottom lip and whispers, frown working its way across his
brows. “Come, let it go for me.”
Taehyung cries out the second the permission is given and traps his own lip
between his teeth, biting down on Jeongguk all along his thighs tense and
Taehyung shatters all over him, shooting strings of white in between their
heated bodies. Jeongguk rears back and slams into his boyfriend one last time
for his own release, clenching Taehyung to his chest and spilling himself into
the condom before his face plummets into Taehyung’s neck, breathing harsh and
head dizzy as he hides there.
It takes a while for both of them to calm down, Jeongguk with his struggle to
find his brain and sanity back as Taehyung settles with running idle fingertips
across his sweaty back and down to cup his bum, squeezing it to get his
attention.
“Are you okay?”
Jeongguk can only laugh, burrowing his face deeper into Taehyung’s sweet and
addictive skin because okay doesn’t even cover anywhere half of what he’s
currently feeling at the moment.
He lifts up his face to showcase Taehyung one lazy, but glowing smile. “I’m too
happy to not be okay.”
Taehyung smiles back, something about post-orgasm makes him appear ten times
softer and prettier, such a beauty that belongs entirely to Jeongguk. His heart
clenches with pain that has nothing to do with suffering, but more so due to
surreal happiness.
And love. Lots and lots of love for Taehyung.
“I love you,” Jeongguk whispers what his mind has been screaming at him the
whole time he’s staring on Taehyung and his boyfriend chuckles, eyes get all
crinkly by the corners.
“Me too. I love you,” he admits while reaching up to sweep Jeongguk’s fringes
away from his forehead and Jeongguk swears in the moment, there’s nothing in
the world could keep them apart.
No matter what will come after this.
No matter what will he reveal to Taehyung later.
But he can keep all the secrets for a few moments longer as for now, Jeongguk
just wants to love Taehyung without all the miseries juggling as distraction in
his head. So with a grin, he ducks down to capture Taehyung’s sweet smile into
a kiss and hums against his mouth.
“Can we…do it again?”
Taehyung snorts, yet doesn’t stop from pushing his tongue deeper into the kiss.
“We have all night, honey.”
And with that, Jeongguk is worked up to another hard on as he groans and pulls
away earlier before Taehyung has even finished kissing him.
“Get on your hands and knees, Tae. I wanna eat you out.”
Taehyung splutters upon hearing the unfiltered request, never gets to have
enough time to think of it as in the next moment, he’s moaning with face full
of his pillow, hands fisting on it as he forgets how Jeongguk has easily hauled
him into this position.
“Jeongguk—”
“Why? Any objection?” He slaps his exposed ass once and grins a little too
gleefully at how Taehyung whimpers. Jeongguk proceeds to cup both cheeks of his
ass and squeezes them owningly, eyes dead serious on Taehyung. “This ass is
mine, Tae. I’ll do whatever I want with it.”
“You—yours, Jeonggukie. I need your mou—”
It is safe to say one round of sex isn’t enough now that they have had each
other’s taste permanent on their tongue.
Chapter End Notes
     :))))))))
     I...made an account, in case any of you wanna be Jimin's curious
     calico cat and shoot me up with questions anonymously. Just head
     here, questions or confessions turn me on (I did not just say that.
     Urgh)
***** More than this thing we used to call Us (2) *****
Chapter Notes
     Hi, loves.
     Finally, this is the part 2 of chapter 12. Sorry for the long absent.
     My life is a literal mess lately, I just hope this new year will be
     better. :)
     I'm not sure if anyone even reads this story anymore but if you still
     stick around, thank you so so much for your support! I really
     appreciate every single one of it. <3
See the end of the chapter for more notes
He doesn’t know how, but Jeongguk feels he’s slowly pulled out of his sleep by
some kind of heat nestled in between his thighs.
“Tae…,” he croaks, wincing at how raw his voice sounds after all the intense
grunts and growls last night, and blindly travels his hand to the left where
his boyfriend is supposed to snuggle right next to him.
Upon meeting his palm with the empty space, Jeongguk forces his eyes to blink
open only to shut them back up and moan, too broken and low for early morning,
when he finally realizes where the heat actually comes from.
A helpless gasp tumbling out in between his rising breath, the haziness of his
sleep disperses bit by bit into the pleasurable feeling of Taehyung’s tongue
sliding up and down his shaft while Jeongguk glances down at him and meets a
pair of big eyes, mischievous gaze in them.
Taehyung looks way too proud crouching there in between the cradle of
Jeongguk’s thighs, slimy palms massaging the base of his balls and sweet pink
tongue licking at the tip of it just to bring shivers down Jeongguk’s spine.
Already can he tell it will be a good morning.
Left with nothing else to do, Jeongguk lets his head fall back against the
pillow and tries to stop his hips from thrusting upward, allowing Taehyung to
take him there with his vigorous sucking and delicious heat of his mouth all
around his cock. If he didn’t wake up with a hard-on before, he definitely does
now because Jeongguk is just so in love with the wet sound of Taehyung
hollowing his cheeks and bobbing his head harder to entirely swallow him down.
Jeongguk can tell he’s close, breath coming out in uneven puffs and bare chest
glistening with tiny beads of sweat. Just when he’s reaching down to have a
handful of his boyfriend’s hair, Taehyung pulls away from him and Jeongguk
can’t even feel ashamed of how he whines like a needy bitch, wanting so
desperately for Taehyung to swallow every drop of him. 
“Why do you—”
Taehyung coos at him, soothing him gently by keeping his hands move along his
thick, aching cock. “You gonna wake up now, honey?” His fucking voice is enough
to drive Jeongguk crazy.
“I’m—I’m awake?” Jeongguk blinks, utterly confused why he’s teased way too
early in the morning. “Just please—”
“Shhh, I’ve got you, honey,” and without further words, Taehyung goes back down
on him until the sheet he’s clutching on is the only thing Jeongguk can hold on
to before he releases, pouring it all down Taehyung’s throat.
His boyfriend sits back on his heels after Jeongguk’s whole body trembles with
heavy pleasure, only able to close his eyes while climbing down the high.
Taehyung watches him in silence until he gets his breathing in control and then
slowly moves up so he can fit their chest against one another.
“Morning, Gukkie,” Taehyung kisses him on the lips. Just a light peck during
the first time, and then harder on the next till Jeongguk feels himself heavy
on his tongue, pride blooming in his chest at the thought of being woken up
with his boyfriend sucking him off.
Jeongguk totally can get used to this.
“You’re gonna kill me one of these days, Tae,” he mumbles into Taehyung’s warm
lips, still lazily mouthing at each other instead of properly kissing.
Taehyung giggles, giving Jeongguk so much happiness in the morning he could die
with no regret. “That’s not how you greet the love of your life in the
morning.”
Still, he complains. So Jeongguk takes it on him to close both arms around
Taehyung’s waist and bodily tosses around until he can lay them both on their
sides and face each other, the tip of their noses touching from the proximity.
“Good morning, baby,” Jeongguk says, opening his eyes to a sight full of
Taehyung’s goddess face and wondering how he gets so lucky. “How’s the angel
today?”
He watches in fascination how those smooth cheeks bloom with soft pink,
Taehyung’s eyes wrinkling so hard by the corners from the force of his smile.
“I’m great, and I’m ready. So you should get up and do the same!”
And only then that he notices how he’s the only one still lying naked on the
bed. Taehyung wriggles out of his arms to get up and Jeongguk drinks in how
good he looks already fully dressed. For someone who has endless soft beauty on
his face, Taehyung appears exceptionally badass today wearing a dark maroon
sweater with a huge white skull printed over his chest. A pair of skin-tight
trousers hugged his long, slim legs and the combined colors of black, grey and
deep green of it only brings out the shine in the silver contacts he has on
today instead of the glimming blue last night.
He looks far too gorgeous for the health of Jeongguk’s heart that when Taehyung
moves over to his dressing table and picks up a matching grey beanie to cover
his head, all that Jeongguk is capable of doing is gulp at him. He will never
get over Taehyung’s beauty.
And Taehyung’s beauty doesn’t just ruin his heart, but also his brain. Because
Jeongguk is stuttering under his boyfriend’s knowing smirk once he takes too
long to respond back to him.
Jeongguk blinks, only because he has to. “Urm, ready to where?”
“To our date!”
The merry announcement has Jeongguk forcing his brain to think harder,
recalling any event last night in case they happened to promise a day out
today. When he finds none, the confusion must be showing on his face because
Taehyung rolls his eyes at it.
“No, we didn’t plan it earlier. I plan it this morning. It’s Saturday so I’m
asking you out. You’re not gonna say no, right?”
“Of course not,” Jeongguk answers faster than his mind can process the words.
But then the blooming excitement dims as he gives his surrounding a once-over
and realizes he’s still here in Taehyung’s room. “But…all my dope clothes are
back at my apartment. I need to at least look good for this date, do I?”
“You do,” Taehyung agrees with a grin, already walking to the door. “That’s why
I’m gonna leave first. I’ll see you at the usual train station?”
“Ok…But I—”
“Love you, Gukkie!”
With that, he’s shut by the sound of the door slamming close on him, still half
confused and disoriented from the plan his boyfriend has so suddenly dumped on
him and the queer of him rushing around to leave first. Well, they can leave
together. Jeongguk has no problem bringing Taehyung back to his apartment to
get changed and then off to their date hand in hand.
But maybe Taehyung wants to do it in proper order today, meeting halfway like
most couples do just to feel the thrill amplify. Jeongguk can’t argue with
that, he’s already giddy inside with how will this date turn out as he lets his
nose lowered to Taehyung’s pillow and breathes in his lovely scent.
“Love you too, baby,” he mumbles into it, pretending Taehyung is still here to
hear him but only ends up giggling alone because, god, he’s so in love and he
already starts to miss his boyfriend.
He wants to see him faster.
For that, Jeongguk drags his ass out of the bed and swiftly dresses to get
ready for their date.
He isn’t sure what to expect, doesn’t even have the slightest idea of where
they would be going today so he chooses to put on something casual sporty
judging from Taehyung’s fashion just now. He has an oversize white buttons down
which sleeves rolled up to his elbows as the top—a material he knows so thin
and almost transparent that plenty of girls and boys turn to his way while he’s
heading to the station since his shirt does nothing to hide his curvy waist and
wide chest.
Jeongguk smirks in certain proudness. He does have an intention to be
seductive, but not to these random people. Just exclusive for his boyfriend,
one and only. Because it’s not fair if Taehyung keeps abusing his heart with
love from his stellar visual, Jeongguk wants to conquer Taehyung’s love the
same way too. So here he is, with the deadly shirt and a pair of blue baggy
jeans walking in his trusty Timberlands boots, a matching brown hat over his
head.
Never did he expect to receive anymore surprise, whistling his way down a
staircase to where his boyfriend should be. Yet it turns out Taehyung does have
one more surprise to take his breath away, waiting there near the train
platform with a bouquet of beautiful red and orange flowers cradled in his
arms, smiling so bright at Jeongguk as if he’s the only one he sees right at
the moment.
Jeongguk stops walking two steps away from him, isn’t sure how to deal with the
erratic beats of his heart and the flawless way Taehyung’s making him fall
again and again for him. He can only arch up an eyebrow down at the flowers,
smile already growing so big Jeongguk doesn’t care if it splits his face.
“Are we really doing this? Living a date out of the movies?” He asks, trying to
sound cool only for his voice to come out breathy when Taehyung closes the gap
between them and Jeongguk is smacked in the face with his addictive perfume,
something between the mix of vanilla and peach.
“Shut up, I spent my payment from last night first thing on this,” Taehyung
grumbles playfully over his reddening cheeks, pushing the bouquet into
Jeongguk’s chest. “Just take it before this gets even more embarrassing.”
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Jeongguk holds the flowers as if
it’s the most precious thing he’s ever received all his life, giving them a
fond stare a moment too long before he looks up and leans forward to kiss
Taehyung’s lips. “Thank you, baby. What’s their name? I don’t know much about
flowers.”
Taehyung grins, reaching out to stroke a petal. “Azalea. They’re hard to die so
it’ll last longer.”
“They’re beautiful. Perfect, actually.”
“Not as beautiful as you. You are perfect,” and Taehyung is forever wise and
unpredictable, winning Jeongguk’s heart for eternity without having to put up a
battle.
Jeongguk laughs out, shaking his head in unbelievable fondness while he tries
to put out the burning on his cheeks.
“You practically ooze romance. What’s happening?” Taehyung gives a simple shrug
to his question, leaning in again for another kiss which Jeongguk happily
responds to.
“Nothing, just me loving you,” his deep voice rasps into his mouth and okay,
Jeongguk will gladly die drowning in love this way but they still have their
date awaiting. And Jeongguk doesn’t want to die yet for it.
“Right, we’re not going anyway if this goes on,” Jeongguk reasons through a
chuckle as he pulls away. “C’mon, tell me where you wanna go?”
“I’m actually thinking of the aquarium. Can we do that?”
“Fish seeing,” Jeongguk weighs the idea. “Fishes sound fun. Let’s go!”
Upon their arrival there, they’re met with a gigantic sign of COEX AQUARIUM
looms over the main entrance. Taehyung doesn’t waste one more second as he
drags Jeongguk along behind him, pushing the younger to pay for their
ticket—“Cuz you’re the hospital director’s son, not me!”—while merrily bouncing
on the heels of his feet.
“I can’t believe I’m dating a five-year-old,” Jeongguk murmurs, much to
Taehyung’s annoyance, but he instantly brushes it off once he spots a container
full of sharks just upon their first step into the place.
They already roam around and watch and learn about at least half of the entire
ocean species in the aquarium by noon—Jeongguk couldn’t get over the fact that
Stingray fish gives birth instead of lays eggs like most fishes do while
Taehyung wows so loud once he finds out the male seahorse is the one carrying
the eggs instead of the female—it is safe to say they earn a number of peculiar
looks from the passing tourists but none of them really pays the heed as they
move to have lunch at a random fast food kiosk.
The amount of fries, burgers and Cokes on their table screams nothing but
potential heart stroke yet once again, no one cares to be nutritious as they
both are too happy to gloat on them, taking turns to occasionally smear ketchup
on each other’s cheeks and engaging in a silly battle of balancing the fries
over their nose as much as they can. They laugh hard over everything and
nothing; like at how the red mini skirt wore by a girl next to their table is
out of place with her heavy, lacy top or how there’s a guy queuing by the
counter has his hair the same fashion as G-dragon in Big Bang’s Fantastic Baby.
Of course, Jeongguk the hardcore fan boy of BB insists that his G-dragon hyung
rocks it better. Taehyung pretends to listen to Jeongguk’s passive-aggressive
insults about it, only to instantly flee from his seat once Jeongguk notices
that the former has left a huge smudge of bright red sauce on the elbow of his
white shirt—his fucking white shirt!—pasted lovely there in a shape of heart.
The relentless chase afterward brings them to the back side of the aquarium
where a mini outdoor park is filled with parents and kids enjoying their time
to watch cute, small animals put on display like in a zoo. Jeongguk has stopped
trying to go after his boyfriend as he’s busier in getting rid of the red from
his shirt despite how sweet the gesture it, until, Taehyung squeals while
calling his name.
“Oh my god, Jeonggukie! What are you doing here?” Jeongguk glances up, frowning
at how Taehyung doesn’t even look at him. Instead, he’s crouching over a glass
case and seemingly addressing his name to whatever it is inside there.
“Tae, what are you—”
Jeongguk walks closer, question halfway out of his mouth when he finally
discovers that the ‘Jeonggukie’ Taehyung referred to is actually a rabbit,
jumping near the glass once Taehyung coos on it.
Jeongguk casts a tasteless sideglance at him. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Nope! Not the slightest,” Taehyung taps the glass where the rabbit’s nose is
pasted against and then giggles once it jumps away. “Jeon Jeongguk, the bunny!
The cutest living bunny ever—”
“Let’s check out the souvenirs,” he cuts him off immediately once his eyes spot
a booth to their right to stop Taehyung from further teasing him. Jeongguk
rolls his eyes as he hears Taehyung’s deep laughter following him from behind
and can’t help smiling as well when his boyfriend catches up to him and laces
their fingers together, tight and warm as they pause facing the booth.
“Ohhh, they have those custom shirts you can write on,” Taehyung points at a
few designs hung on display, never takes his eyes off them even while Jeongguk
moves him to stand in front for Jeongguk to hug him from behind, hands
untangling for the sake of Jeongguk using both arms to hold Taehyung around his
waist.
“You want one? Wanna write something couple-y?” He asks, chin rested on
Taehyung’s shoulder as he too, eyes the impressive arts drawn on those shirts.
“Sure, I will write My Boyfie: The Muscled Bunny,” Taehyung doesn’t give up in
teasing him.
“That’s not even couple-y!” Jeongguk grunts, pinching his soft tummy, partly
annoyed and partly to hear Taehyung’s cute squeal.
“Yeah, but it’s personalized. Not everyone has muscled bunny as their
boyfriend. Mine only is special.”
“You just love embarrassing me. I hate you,” Jeongguk sulks into his neck,
hiding his face there only for Taehyung to laugh in return, reaching up to pat
his head as if to soothe a child.
“Of course I love you too, honey,” is all he says before he’s raising his
voice. “Ahjumma, we gonna have two of these please!”
Jeongguk leaves it entirely on Taehyung to decide upon the color of the shirts,
the font and design. The only thing left for them to customize is the words
they want to have written on it and by the time the ahjumma hands Taehyung with
a piece of paper, Jeongguk asks him again.
“You really gonna write what you said just now on your shirt?”
Taehyung ‘thinks’ long enough for Jeongguk to be annoyed and shoved him a bit
by the shoulder. He laughs but shakes his head, bending down to start writing.
“Hmm, maybe next time. For now, I’m gonna write this.”
He expects the usual clichéd phrases people put on their couple tees like ‘KTH
loves JJK’ or something equally cheesy and cringy. What Taehyung ends up
writing however, is as openly vulgar as Jeongguk and as blunt as Taehyung.
Taehyung’s OFF LIMIT. I’M HIS while Jeongguk’s is FUCK OFF! HE’S MINE.
Jeongguk swears he won’t like any other shirts as much as he will like this
cheap, customized one from a random booth.
“Happy?” Taehyung throws a smile up at him, handing the paper back to the
ahjumma.
Jeongguk ducks down for a noisy kiss upon Taehyung’s cheek. “The happiest!”
“Where to up next?” Jeongguk questions a couple hours later, walking out of the
public restroom with their new shirts proudly replacing their previous tops.
“No idea, I just planned until the aquarium,” Taehyung shrugs, wrapping an arm
straight around Jeongguk’s waist when they pass a group of girls, and notices
how they all have their eyes on Jeongguk. They’re probably just taken aback by
the thick, neon green of the fonts over the grey shirt but Jeongguk is more
than happy to indulge on silently possessive Taehyung. He lands heavier on
looking cute than mad when he’s jealous like this. Jeongguk loves him.
Not that Taehyung has anything to worry about though. They are wearing the
embarrassing couple shirts so open for the public eyes and that is more than
telling that Jeongguk belongs only to him. Just to be sure, however, Jeongguk
still returns the hold by draping an arm around his shoulder and pulls Taehyung
flushed to his side. They’re turning into one of those gross couples with
excessive PDA but no one gives a fuck.
Jeongguk suggests instead, “how about we board the train, take a random route.
We can get down whenever we feel like it. There’s always midnight train to take
us back here.”
“Sure, let’s do it!”
And that’s how their date continues. They board at the nearest station and
occupy the farthest seats at the back of the train, mindful to not disturb the
other passengers in case they will be loud with their laughter and jokes. At
first it’s quiet with Jeongguk content to watch the scenery zooming past
outside while Taehyung snaps at least a hundred of his selfies with Jeongguk’s
phone, silly faces and all, because he insists Jeongguk needs a new selfie of
him to replace his current wallpaper. He’s indecisive in choosing though, keeps
on finding flaws in his own pictures. It’s until Jeongguk turns and yanks
Taehyung to him without warning, that the shutter clicks halfway Jeongguk is
kissing his cheek and Taehyung widening his eyes in shock, the picture is taken
just like that. Checking back upon it, it is by far the worst shot captured
with blurry motion and Taehyung’s exaggerated expression, but Jeongguk decides
it’s perfect and takes his phone away from Taehyung to set it up as his brand
new wallpaper.
He wipes a thumb over the screen, smiling to himself at how easy it feels to
bask in tiny moment like this. It’s spontaneous, relaxing and requires no
thinking from both of them that Jeongguk wonders how long can this happiness
last, how long they would still have before everything goes down the drain
after Taehyung knows the truth hanging like a giant rock above them, just
hovering there, waiting for the time to drop and possibly shatter them both.
Jeongguk feels the fear crawling up his skin, that horrible moment when you’re
too happy it turns to sadness.
“Tae,” He calls after a gulp, eyes remain glued on his phone. “Hm?”
“What you wanna do after your graduation?”
The question isn’t answered until a moment of silence later. “What makes you
think of it so suddenly?”
“I have to know your plan. Cuz I wanna plan mine as well. I want to be with you
wherever you go, Tae,” Jeongguk answers with such a firm assurance in him that
it scares even his own self.
Everyone knows Taehyung will leave school earlier than him. Even as he first
entered the art school just to get close to him, Jeongguk is honest enough to
say he enjoys studying there. He enjoys majoring in dance, he loves what he’s
doing and he definitely isn’t going to stop midway just because Taehyung will
graduate in a few months time. What leaves him in questions is what would come
next. Taehyung will learn the truth about his family and Dr. Jeon sooner or
later, and even with the bad consequences waiting in all the possibilities,
Jeongguk chooses to believe in their love.
He believes they’re stronger than all the hardships they will need to go
through after this. He believes Taehyung is rational enough to weigh the pros
and cons of their situation and maybe, hopefully, he would still choose
Jeongguk in the end.
Just how Jeongguk will always choose him.
So to know Taehyung’s future plan can at least give him preparation with what
to expect and what to do.
“I’m here,” Taehyung says at last. “I’m here now. So don’t worry your head with
tomorrow, or the future. Whatever will happen, happens. We’ll just live through
it. Okay?”
Jeongguk slowly climbs his gaze up to him and stares at how Taehyung smiles
gently to reassure him. He’s scared. No, scratch that. He’s terrified. Any
minute from now, he could be losing his mom or Taehyung or, worst of all, both.
Jeongguk thinks he’s found the way out of this, the way to solve all this. It’s
just the matter to lay it out to Taehyung and for him to be okay with it for
things to go right again.
Yet now, sitting face to face in a compact space, moving forward in this train
like everything is timeless, Jeongguk decides he can have this small peace,
even just for a moment.
“Okay,” with a nod from Jeongguk, Taehyung gives him one more smile and pulls
him in by his nape until Jeongguk can bury his face in his chest, resting there
as if there’s no worry gritting deep down in his heart.
Somehow they don’t turn back even after the clock ticks to midnight. They get
down at a random station just how they started and are met with a foreign small
town which only has a cheap, tiny motel to spend the night.
Jeongguk barely gets the key in to the door when Taehyung is pressing into him,
attacking his mouth with frantic kisses. There’s a different hunger, one that
Jeongguk can’t put into words yet feel it sip through the blazing touches of
Taehyung’s palms all under his shirt and travel through every branch of his
vein until all of his senses is clouded by Taehyung—Taehyung and the way he
kisses every skin on Jeongguk he can get his mouth on, Taehyung and the way he
scratches violently against the flesh of Jeongguk’s back once he finally pushes
in, Taehyung and the way he gasps, moans, begs right next to Jeongguk’s ear for
him to fuck him harder, sweaty body colliding again and again to the wall
they’re fucking on. Just Taehyung. Jeongguk’s feeling all of him and he’s
marveling in every second of it, breathing hard into Taehyung’s mouth as his
hips lose their controlled pace slamming into Taehyung, a sign that he’s
painfully close to coming.
“God, Guk—” and when Taehyung fists a handful of his hair, Jeongguk drails one
last powerful thrust straight into him and Taehyung is slammed to the wall from
the force of it, scream muffled by Jeongguk as he smashes their mouths together
and they both hit the climax—white strings all over Jeongguk’s shirt that he
still has on and sticky hot mess trails down in between Taehyung’s thighs and
stains his halfway pushed pants, both are just partially undressed since they
didn’t have the patience to fuck on the bed earlier.
They hit the bed eventually after Jeongguk’s thighs and arms start to burn from
holding Taehyung up for quite long, muscles still mushy from his orgasm and he
huffs Taehyung against him before walking them to the mattress.
Jeongguk takes his time to clean them up, leaving them comfortable with only
their bare skin laying on the sheets and dumping their clothes without so much
of a thought down to the floor. He’s in the middle of rubbing warm, damp cloth
in between Taehyung’s thighs, getting rid of the come, when his boyfriend
reaches down and tugs Jeongguk up to get their mouths against each other’s.
“You wanna go again?” Jeongguk smiles into the kisses at how Taehyung shudders
when their cocks subtly clashing together, wedged in between them from how
Jeongguk is entirely sprawled on Taehyung now.
But the elder shakes his head, pulling away for a second to stare up at
Jeongguk through his thick eyelashes and mumbles, “I just wanna do this,”
before continuing to thread his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair, pulling him
back down. Jeongguk gets him, this also means just kissing Jeongguk. Taehyung
just wants to lazily make out and Jeongguk is more than happy to indulge him.
They kiss until there’s nothing left in their lungs, until the only choice is
to separate or die out of oxygen shortage and only then that Jeongguk settles
next to Taehyung, sliding his arm around Taehyung’s shoulders so he can pull
him close to his chest.
“Baby, I…I’ve got something to tell you,” is what Jeongguk begins with after
five minutes or so just snuggling in silence and basking in their slow
breathing.
“Go on,” Taehyung yawns, exhaustion is so apparent in his voice that Jeongguk
considers brushing it off. But then, he thinks there’s no other more suitable
time than now.
It has to be tonight, or Taehyung will never know the truth.
So Jeongguk gasps for air that screams a heavy fuck it.
“I…met your grandma earlier this week,” he waits for Taehyung to say something,
when he doesn’t, Jeongguk begins to think his voice sounds surreal even to his
own ears. “I asked her permission for something.”
“What? Did you two plan a marriage proposal for me?” Of all the things Taehyung
could have felt curious about, he goes for that one and Jeongguk feels a lot
better to laugh it off, chest somehow gradually loosening even when he’s about
to lay the bomb on the table.
“Somedays,” Jeongguk whispers, thinking of the possibility of waiting for
Taehyung down the aisle and spending the rest of his life with him. That would
be magical. “I would do that somedays later, Tae.”
He takes another deep breath. “But I can only do that if…if you would say yes
to me now.”
Jeongguk knows he’s trembling against Taehyung’s body, already can tell how
speedy his heart is racing in his chest and wonders why Taehyung still doesn’t
say a word about it, doesn’t ask why he’s so nervous that Jeongguk’s beginning
to break into sweats.
And with a heart a minute away from bursting, he says it. Out loud.
“Tae, my mom is really sick. She’s dying. If I say you’re the only one who can
save her, would you be her donor?”
Silence.
Jeongguk waits. One thump. Two thumps. Three thumps. A million thumps within a
second and Jeongguk tries again.
“Tae, I know I’m not making any sense now but I’m tired of hiding this from
you. I just—”
Taehyung cuddles closer to him, face buries into his raging chest and Jeongguk
stiffens.
“Baby? Are you listening?”
And when there’s no response to any of it, Jeongguk finally drops his eyes to
Taehyung and sees how his boyfriend is deeply asleep, not at all aware of
Jeongguk’s internal war and struggle.
A heavy sigh escapes his mouth.
Taehyung needs to know. Jeongguk desperately needs Taehyung to know
everything—about his father, about Jeongguk’s father and about his mom’s
condition. But staring on Taehyung’s calm face, lips pulled into a slight pout
and chest a constant calm of ups and downs against Jeongguk’s own, the younger
boyfriend has no heart to disturb him with difficult issues.
He resorts to let him rest.
Jeongguk closes his eyes and forces himself to go to sleep as well. Even when
all the truths are threatening to rob away his sleep, at least Taehyung’s still
here.
Taehyung isn’t gone and Jeongguk can afford one more day to feel at ease.
===============================================================================
 
Taehyung is gone.
Or at least that’s how shitty the assumption Jeongguk’s thinking right now when
there’s no reply given to the messages he sent him and no call-back responded
to the calls he gave Taehyung since this morning.
He seems like he’s gone yet Jeongguk prefers to believe his boyfriend is just
out of reach due to his tight classes. It’s Monday, just the opening of a new
week and Jeongguk chalks it down to normal for senior classes to be fully
occupied compared to the rest of them.
Yet the moment the bell that indicates their recess time rings, Jeongguk is
halfway out of the class even before his teacher gets to dismiss them. Taehyung
isn’t replying to his text. That’s okay, maybe he wants to concentrate in
class. Taehyung isn’t answering his call. That’s fine too since maybe he puts
his phone on silent. But to act like he’s not worrying about his boyfriend is a
total useless so when he dashes to Taehyung’s class right now, he can’t be too
bothered with bumping into several groups of senior and forgetting to apologize
to them.
Taehyung is his main concern that as soon as he spots Jimin at the end of the
corridor, Jeongguk lets out the breath he doesn’t know he’s been holding until
now. It’s not entirely a relief, but it’s still calming to see Jimin since he
knows wherever the senior is, Taehyung would be somewhere in the same radar as
him.
“Yah, Jimin-ah!” Jeongguk jogs the few steps forward it takes before stopping
in front of him. He’s too busy scanning around for Taehyung that he misses the
way Jimin is softly sniffling. “Jimin, I haven’t seen Tae since—”
His eyes finally lowered down and he sees it, the red rims around Jimin’s eyes
and the dry trails of tears along his cheeks. Something goes cold in Jeongguk.
Jimin won’t be crying if it wasn’t for a reason important enough.
“Have you…Have you been crying?” It comes out like a question yet Jeongguk
knows he’s just confirming the obvious.
Jimin doesn’t say anything for a while, seemingly to gather himself within the
quietness. When he does, however, it stirs Jeongguk’s world to 360◦ of upside
down, all stilling midway in the air before everything bursts to pieces.
“Guk, Tae’s gone.”
Simple, simple words. A straight-forward sentence with zero difficult context
yet Jeongguk finds it hard to comprehend it. He finds it harder to believe it.
He laughs instead, pushing away the panic crawling under his skin because he
can’t. No. He can’t panic yet. This isn’t real. It’s not true.
They were together the whole weekend. Jeongguk finally got to make love to his
boyfriend and they went for a perfect date. Taehyung even bought him goddamn
flowers.
Taehyung’s gone is impossible.
Jeongguk gives Jimin a look like he just told him he saw a flying pig.
“What…what do you mean he’s gone? What bullshit are you saying? I thought he’s
with you during the classes?”
Jimin whimpers, shaking his head so vigorously Jeongguk wants to tell him to
stop or he might snap it off his neck. “No! He’s absent since this morning so I
just thought he’s sick or something. I was just gonna go and ask you when
Jeonghan informed me he heard from the teachers that Tae—Tae…”
“Tae is what, Jimin?” Jeongguk feels his fists forming on their own by his
sides, anger creeps in him the longer he stares on the tears filling Jimin’s
eyes once more. He lashes out. “Fucking hell, don’t scare me like this! I
couldn’t contact him since this morning and now you’re crying like this! What
in the actual fuck is happening?”
“He’s quit.”
“Quit what?”
“From this school!” Jimin’s shouting back at him as well, beginning to draw
attention on them. “He has fucking quit school today, Jeongguk!”
His breath hitches for a second and Jeongguk shakes his head, stubborn and in
denial.
“No,” He’s not sure anymore if he’s denying Jimin or just trying to convince
himself. “That’s impossible…that—that’s just too ridiculous. We were together
the whole weekend, he was fine. He wouldn’t do this without telling me.”
Jimin wipes his cheeks furiously with the back of his palms. “But he did! He
didn’t even tell me anything! I’m his best friend, Jeongguk!”
Jeongguk closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and reminds himself to stay calm.
He needs all the sanity he needs to settle down this joke of the year. He’s
pretty sure this is just a prank. A prank that Taehyung sets up to tease him
and when he does find Taehyung, he gonna give his baby a piece of his mind to
never scare him like this ever again.
“I’m gonna ask the principal,” Jeongguk turns over as soon as he opens his eyes
again.
“I already did, Jeongguk,” Jimin sounds hopeless, weak and quiet as if he just
found the dead end instead of his best friend. “It’s true. Tae really has left.
And it’s not because the school cut him off due to Mr. Kang. It’s because
Taehyung himself gave them the quit letter.”
No.
No.
Why would Taehyung try to leave him?
Is he really trying to run away from him without explaining a thing?
Jeongguk keeps his back on Jimin, refusing for him to see his eyes turning to
ice cold. “I don’t believe you. He’s Taehyung. He won’t do this to me.”
“But he—”
“I’m gonna find him,” he says with firm finality. “I don’t care what you say.
I’m going to find him and bring him back and fix whatever shit is happening
now.”
Jeongguk is about to step away when Jimin doesn’t say anything back but then a
hand halts him by his elbow, Jimin stands right next to him a second later and
he looks as fierce as this determination in Jeongguk to search for Taehyung.
“I’ll come with you.”
The truth is, Jeongguk doesn’t know where to start. If Taehyung quit school
without even telling anything to Jimin, it means every possible place Jimin
could come up with would be impossible to have Taehyung there. Since he knows
Taehyung won’t be that stupid. He must have already figured it out Jeongguk
would be together with Jimin in this and aside from Yoongi’s place, he has no
idea where else to start.
Jeongguk doesn’t think the orphanage or the retirement home would be in the
list. Because if Taehyung is in trouble, dumping it down on his family members
would be the last thing Taehyung do. Jeongguk knows his boyfriend well enough
to understand that Taehyung will keep his siblings and grandma out of his shit
as much as he can.
But he needs to start somewhere, and just as he’s turning to the nearest
staircase, his phone blaring in his pocket and Jeongguk’s snatching it out so
fast it almost slips out of his hand. Jeongguk curses and clutches it harder to
read the screen.
Baby Taetae flashes before his eyes and the green button is smacked so hard
Jeongguk doesn’t care if the screen cracks for the nth time.
“Hello? Tae? Baby, are you there?” He hears his breathing but no voice comes
over the line. Jeongguk gets it’s not a good sign. “Where are you, sweetheart?
Why did Jimin tell me—”
“It’s true. I quit school.”
If Jimin told him so could crash his world upside down, then Taehyung’s calm
admission on it feels so close like he’s being pushed over a cliff and falling
down an endless pit of darkness.
He can’t see a thing, hear a sound or feel any emotion but his own jagged
breathing. His breathing that comes out with a low word of “…why?”
Why?
Why is Taehyung doing this all of a sudden?
Why is he doing this to him?
“I’ll tell you the rest at the gala tonight, okay? You’ll be there, right?”
Jeongguk’s mind kicks to work again. He frowns to himself while Jimin looks
like he’s controlling everything in him to stop himself from ripping the phone
away from Jeongguk and talk to Taehyung himself.
“What fucking gala you talk about, Tae? I don’t remember any and I just wanna
see you now! Don’t fucking scare me like this, I—”
“Remember the gala you asked me to attend with you on the first day you came to
the school? That’s the gala I’m talking about.”
Jeongguk racks his brain to think harder and when it lands on the spot he’s
looking for, he breathes out of disbelief. That was way past before they were
even together! That was before he fell in love with Taehyung and that was when
Jeongguk was still clueless of everything else happening between them.
Why is Taehyung bringing it up now?
“Tae, that’s—”
“Your father’s hospital branch launching gala, I know.”
Jeongguk’s getting tired of these surprises. A surprise after a surprise. He’s
not a fan of it.
“How…how did you know that?”
He’s starting to panic for a total different reason because does Taehyung
already know everything? About his comatose father? About what Dr. Jeon is
doing behind him and about becoming his mother’s donor?
But Taehyung still sounds so calm, in control and collected. “…Because your mom
invited me.”
“My mom?” Jeongguk tries to recall anytime his mother would have relayed this
news to him yet he finds none. He has not even a clue when Taehyung possibly
has met Mrs. Jeon behind him before.
“Yeah, she invited me to be your date for the night. You’ll come right? I’m
excited to see you all groomed in suit and tie,” Taehyung says playfully but
Jeongguk doesn’t get the joke. He’s not even in the mood for it.
“Tae, stop playing around. I don’t understand—”
“Then come to the gala. Meet me there and you’ll understand everything.”
“Taehyung,” he pauses because even saying his name is hard now. He’s so
confused of everything, doesn’t even know how meeting at the gala would solve
all this confusion and with Taehyung acting all mysterious like this, Jeongguk
isn’t sure of what to expect anymore.
“Baby, is everything alright?” He questions instead because yeah, is everything
okay? Are they okay?
Last time he checked, they were more than okay. They were perfect but now?
Jeongguk’s desperate to see Taehyung. He practically pleads into the phone.
“I love you, Tae. Don’t…please don’t scare me like this. Please tell me why you
quit school. I—I miss you, and I need to see you. Where can I meet you now?”
Taehyung doesn’t answer and the silence alone is enough to turn the panic to
hurt. Every bit of his heart is breaking, bleeding profusely in his chest but
all he can do is whisper into the receiver, praying the next time he opens his
eyes, Taehyung would be here before him and this would all be a ridiculous joke
to laugh about.
“Tae, please?”
“I love you too, Jeongguk…” Taehyung’s voice is shaky now, the first hint of
real emotion he can hear all along this odd conversation. “I wish I wouldn’t
have to do all this.”
Jeongguk feels the tears warming his eyes. He’s never been this scared in his
whole life. “Do what?”
Taehyung dodges his question once more and ends the call with a swift “See you
tonight, Jeongguk.”
The sound of the static line fills his hearing and Jeongguk grips firmer on his
phone, preventing it from slipping off his hand. Taehyung sounded alright, he
even promised to meet him tonight. So why does it feel so much like Jeongguk
won’t ever see him again?
Why does it feel like he has truly left him?
Jeongguk never knows what it’s like to be crazy over a person until at this
very moment.
===============================================================================
 
“Fucking let me through! I need to see someone!”
And because he’s crazy over Taehyung, crazy enough to see him, crazy enough to
miss him, crazy enough to just meet him and make sure he is okay; here Jeongguk
is with fists pounding against the hard chest of the guard restraining him and
shouting to the front entrance of the club in hope for Taehyung to just show up
before him already.
The guard hisses, pushing him backward a little too hard that Jeongguk almost
stumbles down to the ground if he’s not fast enough to regain his composure.
Luckily he does, standing straighter as he throws the man a glare in return.
“Sorry, kid. But we all know you’re underage. And this time, no special request
from our staff to let you in. You need to leave.”
“But you know I know V! Let me through!” Jeongguk grunts before pushing once
more to step closer to the doors only to freeze when the next thing the guard
says is “But V isn’t our staff anymore.”
Jeongguk frowns, blinking a calculative look up to the guy. “Excuse me?”
“It’s true, kid. The fun’s over. He left already, so you gotta do the same if
you’re only here for him,” the other guard nods, exhaling smoke from his
cigarette as if he’s totally unfazed of Jeongguk’s outburst and little chaos
out here. Most of the guards here are already familiar with Jeongguk, what with
his connection to Taehyung, Jimin and Namjoon.
Yet none of them bothered to tell him this until he decided to come here and
search for Taehyung. He’s agreed with Jimin to spilt way in searching for him
after school and while Jimin didn’t think Taehyung would be here, Jeongguk
still took his chance and came. Now, another surprise hits him in the face when
not only his boyfriend quit school, he’s ditched his long time illegal job too.
All without saying a word to Jeongguk or Jimin.
He gulps, remembering something.
“Since when did he quit?” His voice is low but as soon as the question slips
out, Jeongguk wishes he could take it back. He’s not sure if he wants to know.
One of the guards shrugs, “last Friday.”
Last Friday. That was the night Taehyung had invited everyone to come and see
his performance with Jimin. That was the night they first slept together. That
was the night when everything was perfect for them. That was also the very
night when Jeongguk heard how Taehyung told his co-worker he gotta make his
last performance the best show ever.
Because it makes sense, it’s the last of everything.
He storms forward to get to him, catching Taehyung reply the other man with
“Thanks! Gotta make the last performance the best.”
Jeongguk laughs to himself, empty and mirthless, because he remembers now. He
remembers it and he fucking regrets it for not asking Taehyung about it, for
not picking up the clues way earlier.
The love making, the dazzling date, the beautiful flowers, the couple t-shirts,
the desperate kisses last night before Taehyung disappeared…they’re all good
bye. Good bye to Jeongguk. Good bye signs from Taehyung to Jeongguk.
He swears he just wants to scream and punch something right now.
And just before he could do so, something strikes in his mind and Jeongguk
stops dead the second his brain places the puzzles together. Tonight,
Taehyung’s asked to meet him at his father’s gala. Mrs. Jeon invited him to be
there but if Taehyung really gonna show up, it will also be the place where he
will meet Dr. Jeon and his mother together at the same time—face to face, with
too many secrets hidden between the three of them, including Jeongguk.
He exhales sharply. He can’t let that happen. He can’t let Taehyung meet his
parents, not this way.
The only solution to stop all this is if Jeongguk makes it there before
Taehyung. Even without registering his own movement, Jeongguk jumps into the
first cab that stops by the street, ignoring the stranger who first flagged it
down and urging the driver to rush to the venue where the gala is taking place.
“Pick up the fucking phone,” he doesn’t know why he bothers trying to reach
Taehyung through a call. Yet when he’s answered with another intercom message,
Jeongguk slams his phone down to his lap with a loud curse. The night is only
getting worse and he’s not sure what to do anymore.
By the time he reaches the high-end building, everything is taking place in
full swing. Elite people and well known politicians are in small groups around
the gigantic hall, swinging their champagne flute while laughing over their
pretentious conversation. Jeongguk ignores them all, including the looks of odd
and disapproval thrown to his way the moment he storms through the crowd in his
sweaty school uniform and face a thousand miseries.
He’s praying hard for Taehyung not to be here already but when he catches sight
of Mrs. Jeon alone, nursing what seems like her favorite pineapple juice,
Jeongguk bolts over to her.
“Mom!”
“Jeonggukie?” Mrs. Jeon slowly gets to her feet, eyes racking down the length
of her son’s body. “What are you even wearing? Didn’t Tae tell you the theme?”
Jeongguk doesn’t know why attires are such a vital aspect for this nor does he
care because even through his panting, he forces a different question out. “Did
you really invite him here, mom?”
“Yes, I did,” she looks genuinely perplexed, which upsets Jeongguk even more
because she.doesn’t.know. “Is something wrong with that?”
Is this really how Jeongguk wants her to find out everything? Here, in the
middle of the on-going gala? Jeongguk’s desperate and shaky and he hates every
minute of this. His eyes are moving in frenzy circles, going round and round in
hope he would catch Taehyung’s sight any minute now before his father be here.
“He—he shouldn’t be here, mom. He—”
“Jeongguk?”
Too late. Too late. Dr. Jeon is already walking over to them.
“At least make yourself presentable if you want to show up like a surprise
here,” as always, reputation is number one to his father and that’s the first
thing he points out once his eyes landed on Jeongguk, doesn’t even concern on
how pale and sweaty he is minus his wrinkle uniform.
Jeongguk growls, turning around to have his back on Dr. Jeon and face his mom
alone. “I swear to god this isn’t the time to worry about my clothes! Have you
seen him around, mom? Is he here already?”
“Well I thought he should be together with you. He’s your date, right?”
Dr. Jeon steps in between them. “Who are you two talking about?”
“Me, I guess.”
Jeongguk stops breathing, his heart stops beating and the only thing that
penetrates through his mind is the familiar voice as deep as ocean, sounding so
close behind him at the moment.
There’s no need to turn around. He would know that voice an inch apart, he
would know that voice a world apart and he would definitely know that voice
even in his sleep, in his dream. Because it’s the only voice he adores so much,
it’s the voice that calms him but right now, it becomes the voice that silently
shatters him to pieces.
Jeongguk kicks himself to turn around but Mrs. Jeon beats him to it, bright
smile already on her face and hand clasps over her mouth as she rushes to
Taehyung’s side.
“Sweetheart! Oh my god, look at you! You look so handsome.”
Jeongguk finally pivots and takes in his sight in entirety. Taehyung looks
dashing, as per usual, but with his whole tall, lean body wrapped in a complete
set of black suit and soft brown hair styled to perfection, he doesn’t just
appear like the usual beauty he is, he looks intimidating and dangerous
instead—a heart stopping smile graces his face once he looks up to Mrs. Jeon
yet Jeongguk knows, he knows Taehyung’s faking it because that smile, that
sugary sweet smile is something Jeongguk has seen before.
It was the smile Taehyung showed him the first night they met in the club.
It’s the smile Taehyung uses when he’s not sincere but in need of a good
facade.
That’s the smile he’s currently flashing on Mrs. Jeon now.
And in an instant, Jeongguk is so sure Taehyung isn’t just here for this mere
gala. He’s here for something else.
“Thank you, rented the best suit I can find from the Halloween shop,” Taehyung
comments, tone playful with killer smile still on as he winks at Mrs. Jeon.
“I think you look perfect!” his mother gushes in return before she throws
subtle snort to Jeongguk’s way. “But my son here…”
Jeongguk doesn’t move, doesn’t even say a word as all he does is staring on
Taehyung. He’s been on fire and gittery nerves all day that once he finally
sees Taehyung in front of his eyes, he’s just tired. Tired of wanting to know
why all this is happening, tired of wanting to ask why Taehyung left school and
his job, and simply tired of everything around them.
He just wants to walk up to him and hold Taehyung in his arms again.
He doesn’t care if Taehyung already figures out the truth. Nothing else matters
more than Taehyung.
He just wants Taehyung.
“Jeonggukie, what are you still doing there? Your date is here!” Mrs. Jeon
chastises and Jeongguk watches as Taehyung laugh, still refuses to meet him
straight in the eyes.
“Maybe he’s just too shocked to see me,” he says with a shrug but then he
glances up and Jeongguk realizes, there’s another person around here.
“Dr. Jeon,” Taehyung bows at him, tone polite while carrying a thousand
meanings behind it. His mother blinks back and forth between Taehyung and her
husband, doesn’t notice how stiff the doctor has turned to.
“You know my husband?”
“Of course,” Taehyung smiles, the kind that crinkles the corners of his eyes
and Jeongguk flinches at how good he’s acting. “He’s Dr. Jeon Ryeonwook. His
face is everywhere when it comes to the medical world.”
“So proud to know that,” Mrs. Jeon agrees, linking her arm with one of
Taehyung’s before turning to face Dr. Jeon together. “Honey, this is Jeongguk’s
boyfriend. Kim Taehyung.”
How wrong does that sound.
“Pleasure to meet you, sir,” Taehyung gives a small nod of his head again and
Dr. Jeon looks away, as if he can’t stand locking gaze with the young boy
longer than it’s necessary.
“Pleasure’s mine. Enjoy your stay then, while we excuse ourselves to prepare
for the launching.” Jeongguk can hear how monotone his father is, opening his
palm for Mrs. Jeon to take and Taehyung doesn’t stop him, giving his response
through a thin smile.
“Sure thing, sir.”
And after a short reminder from Mrs. Jeon for the both of them to get something
to eat, they both disappear among the crowd and Jeongguk’s finally alone with
his boyfriend. This is the moment he’s been waiting the whole time since
morning yet he doesn’t know why it feels so tight and awkward when it comes at
last. His eyes steady on Taehyung, reading every slight shift of his expression
and he can see how Taehyung never averts his sight away from the back of Dr.
Jeon until his parents totally are swallowed by the people around.
Something sharp slices through Jeongguk.
The way his boyfriend is looking at his father, his eyes, they’re full of
hatred. Hard and unmissable.
Jeongguk understands something is extremely wrong here. Between Taehyung and
his father. And maybe, something’s wrong between Taehyung and him too.
Taehyung’s the one breaking the heavy tension, grinning and stepping close to
tangle his fingers with Jeongguk’s. “C’mon, aren’t you going to offer me even a
drink?”
Jeongguk shakes his head. This is all wrong.
“Tae, why are you—”
“I promised you will understand everything tonight, right? So let’s get a drink
and enjoy the night first. You’re not gonna ruin this gala for your parents,
are you?” Taehyung eyes him carefully, as if he really doesn’t have any other
intention showing up here aside from honoring the invitation from Mrs. Jeon.
Gone is the ice cold contempt from his eyes. Gone is the pretentious sweet face
he put on when he was before Dr. Jeon and his mother just now.
Looking at Taehyung right at the moment is like seeing a stranger for the first
time, distant and closed in and unknown. Jeongguk is really, really disturbed.
Still, like he said, Jeongguk’s just tired so with another tug on his hand, he
gives in and follows as Taehyung happily guides them to the buffet table. They
drink in silence, none seems ready to voice out whatever it is in their
respective mind until one glass of wine turns to two, and two turns to three,
and three turns to four, that Jeongguk decides it’s the most drinking he’s ever
seen Taehyung does. He couldn’t even finish his first glass of wine from how
the bile still stuck in his throat but Taehyung seems to lose all control of
himself tonight, downing one after another glass. One his sixth, Jeongguk
rushes forward to snatch it away.
“Tae, that’s enough alcohol,” but his boyfriend grunts and pushes his hand
away, downing the sixth glass in one gulp and Jeongguk hisses miserably. He can
tell he’s trying to make himself drunk yet he doesn’t know why. Jeongguk isn’t
sure if he even knows who his boyfriend anymore.
“Taehyung, please—”
“As the main director, Dr. Jeon has been leading a ton of projects that have
saved so many lives—”
“That’s fucking true!” Taehyung shouts while pointing the empty glass up to the
stage where a speech is in the middle of being delivered by the emcee, halting
the whole ceremony to a stop as every pair of eyes turns to them. Taehyung
giggles, enjoying the attention. “That fucking deep speech is true, y’all. Dr.
Jeon is an honorable person. He even lied to many people to keep his wife
alive!”
The glass in Jeongguk’s hand almost shatters to the ground.
“Alright, Kim Taehyung, that’s enough for tonight. We need to leave,” Jeongguk
stands in the next second and snatches the empty glass to put it away together
with his half drank wine. He bows an apology to the ceremony and gestures for
the emcee to go ahead before pulling Taehyung up into his arms, supporting his
boyfriend’s staggering body around his waist.
Taehyung whines. “Why, Gukkie? Did I say something wrong?”
He’s about to remind him he’s drunk and already started spilling truth that
Jeongguk himself is afraid to face, but then a figure stops before them and
Jeongguk looks up to meet the concern all over Mrs. Jeon’s face. He prays hard
for his mom to not point out what Taehyung just said right when he still has
his semi-conscious boyfriend here. Yet all Mrs. Jeon does is brush Taehyung’s
hair out of his forehead, studying his reddening cheeks.
“Jeongguk, is he alright? I think he’s a bit drunk,” Jeongguk feels bad to feel
relieved. He holds Taehyung tighter to his chest.
“He is, mom. But he’s gonna be okay. I’ll bring him back—”
“No!” Taehyung jerks up and wails, weak hands trying to push Jeongguk off of
him. “The party isn’t over yet! Let’s stay until the end, Gukkie. Let’s—”
“We’ll bring him back to our home, yeah?” Mrs. Jeon dismisses him in favor of
talking to her son. Jeongguk’s eyes widen.
“What, you mean the penthouse?” Mrs. Jeon nods and that, is an absolute bad
decision. Jeongguk’s shaking his head even before he gets the words out. “No.
I’ll just bring him to my apartment. I—”
“But you drank too a bit just now, right? I won’t let you carry a drunken
person all the way to the apartment,” his mother argues.
“Then I’ll take a cab.”
“No, you two are underage. If the police finds out, it’ll cause big news,
especially for tonight being who you are,” Mrs. Jeon waves between Jeongguk and
the whole gigantic hall, referring to how a drunken famous hospital director’s
son being caught alone with his boyfriend won’t make such a pretty news
headline. “Stay, until the ceremony is over.”
Jeongguk clicks his tongue, he doesn’t even care about anyone’s reputation now
but before he can voice it out, another tall person intrudes in between them.
“Mrs. Jeon,” Jeongguk somehow relaxes at the sight of Seokjin. “I can arrange
for one of the drivers to send them home safely. Would you like that, madam?”
Jeongguk hopes his mother would agree to that but Mrs. Jeon is even more
stubborn tonight, face full of worries as she stares on how Taehyung is
breathing hard in Jeongguk’s neck, hiding his face there and sweating a bucket.
“No, I’m not sending Taehyung away like this. He’s attending this because I
asked him to. I need to at least take care of him while he’s drunk. Find a
secluded area for them. Let him rest there.”
And with that, the topic is cut off with Mrs. Jeon leaving them in Seokjin’s
care. Jeongguk turns to plead the elder with a helpless look.
“Hyung, I don’t understand. Tae is acting weird and now this? Do you perhaps,
know anything about this?”
Seokjin has bewilderment written all over his face, left quiet with nothing to
respond him as he thinks of it for a while.
“I—”
“Mr. Kim, they need you back in right now,” a valet appears somewhere from one
corner of the hall, beckoning Seokjin to follow him and the PA lets out a long
sigh.
“I’m so sorry, Jeongguk-ah. I wish I knew the answer too,” that’s all he says
before he leaves to where he’s needed.
This is the only chance he has. This is where he should have just carried
Taehyung away and leaves this whole madness in an instant. Yet as Jeongguk
scans his surroundings, he notices almost all the black suited bodyguards are
throwing him and Taehyung cautious glances every now and then and he knows in a
blink how Dr. Jeon has ordered them to keep an eye on the two.
Defeated, Jeongguk brings Taehyung out to the small garden by the left wing of
the hall and sits them both on a wooden bench facing a white glimmering
fountain by the center of the beautiful landscape. Taehyung has seemed to fall
asleep as he doesn’t even protest when Jeongguk lays him down and pillows his
head with his lap as the cold night breeze blowing around them.
Jeongguk is grateful for the silence, giving him much needed time to re-
evaluate everything that has happened so far. Taehyung quit school, Taehyung
left his job, Taehyung showed up here and now he’s drunk to the point of losing
his conscience. And when he recalls back to what Taehyung shouted to the emcee,
with his hoarse, drunk voice and broken laugh—“That fucking deep speech is
true, y’all. Dr. Jeon is an honorable person. He even lied to many people to
keep his wife alive!”—Jeongguk finally is struck with the horrible truth.
Taehyung knows.
He knows about what Dr. Jeon has done to him and his family.
He knows what a terrible person Jeongguk’s father is.
Jeongguk has no idea how he found out but the heavy realization hits him like a
bullet train and he breaks into a sob, covering his mouth with his fist as he’s
afraid to wake Taehyung up because of it.
Any minutes now, Taehyung will wake up. Any minutes now, Jeongguk will have to
face Taehyung who already figured out everything horrible that used to happen
behind his back. Jeongguk isn’t sure if he can do this. He’s not sure if he can
face Taehyung and ask him the favor, ask him legally to become his mother’s
donor. How can he still do that when Taehyung is already this broken, already
this wasted?
Slowly dropping his teary eyes down to his boyfriend, Jeongguk cries and stares
on his sleeping face. He loves him so much, but the fact that he’s the son to
the man who used Taehyung like a piece of toy is not something he can’t just
magically change. He is and will always be Dr. Jeon’s only son. The guilt it
carries behind the reality is heavier than anything Jeongguk has ever felt in
his whole life.
He doesn’t want Taehyung to be hurt, he doesn’t want his mom to be hurt. He
wants to protect them all but how? Tell him, how? Jeongguk lowers his forehead
to Taehyung’s cheek and whimpers there, praying the night would be over soon
and he doesn’t have to be stuck in this complicated situation anymore.
The gala ends at some point and true to her words, Mrs. Jeon ushers Jeongguk to
carry Taehyung into the car awaiting for them, the car that will lead them to
even bigger complication because they’re heading to the penthouse, the place
where it all started and still hiding every secret in between Dr. Jeon and
Taehyung.
Jeongguk is still forcing his brain to work out how to get out of this when
they reach the place and Dr. Jeon attacks him first thing while his wife is
busy rushing into the house to prepare clothes and room for Taehyung.
“Is this a joke, Jeongguk? What else do you plan to play with?” His father
yells and asks under the combination of a low whisper while Jeongguk glares
back at him.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Then why is this happening? Why did he show up at my gala? Why is he here?”
Dr. Jeon points into the car where Taehyung’s still asleep and Jeongguk loses
the last bit of patience he has.
“I told you I don’t know! And as long as we both keep our mouth shut, nothing
will happen,” he insists straight to his father’s face just before Mrs. Jeon
reappears and beckons everyone to come inside.
“Jeongguk! What are you still doing there? Come, bring Taehyung inside.”
Ignoring the scalding red anger on Dr. Jeon’s face, Jeongguk turns back to get
Taehyung into his arms and carry him out of the car. He has no other intention
than to let Taehyung rest in his bedroom the whole night but halfway while
crossing the massive living room, he hears Taehyung’s weak mumble.
“Lemme down, Gukkie…”
Jeongguk stops, peering at his boyfriend who still has his eyes closed, cheek
squished against Jeongguk’s chest and wondering if he just sleep-talked. “What?
Did you just say something?”
When his question is left with no answer, Taehyung remains as deep in sleep as
he is, Jeongguk sighs and continues a step ahead. That’s when the boy in his
arms grunts and Jeongguk almost topples down to the floor the moment Taehyung
snaps open his eyes and pushes his chest away.
“I said…put me down,” Taehyung spits it out through gritted teeth and next,
he’s tall and steady on his feet, already jumped down on his own and left
Jeongguk stuck where he’s halfway straightening his body again.
His eyes are as big as a saucer on Taehyung, watching the other in utter
surprise and disbelief as Taehyung drags his heavy, empty gaze around the
living room. Is he…is he merely acting like he’s drunk?
“Oh my, are you okay?” Mrs. Jeon rushes out from the kitchen, frowning on
Taehyung as she gives him a once-over before waving her hands around, probably
thinking Taehyung looks bewildered due to not knowing where he is now. “Don’t
worry, this is just our home. Jeongguk will send you back tomorrow. Let’s just
rest here tonight, okay?”
His mother’s voice is gentle, reassuring. But there’s a definite coldness,
difficult and killing in Taehyung’s tone when he speaks to reply her. “I know
this place, ma’am. I’ve been here way too many times to count.”
Jeongguk stiffens.
God, this is it. He knows why Taehyung pretended to be drunk. He knows why
Taehyung is here.
He needs to stop this.
“Tae—” He extends a shaky hand out to him but Mrs. Jeon is already asking “What
are you talking about?”
And Taehyung gives her no further answer, doesn’t even bother to explain all of
his oddness as he resorts to looking away, eyes far through the floor-to-
ceiling glass wall boxing the area before he announces it, voice eerily calm.
“Come out, dad. Let’s meet them now.”
A surprise after another surprise. Jeongguk doesn’t think he’s even breathing
at this point when a shadow appears up the staircase and everyone looks up to
the sight of a man standing there. He’s in simple faded jeans, oversized
button-down and wind-tousled hair, yet he’s unmistakably the very same man
Jeongguk once saw lying on his father’s hospital bed.
He’s unmistakably the once comatose man, all awake and well at this very
moment.
He is Taehyung’s father.
“Mr. Kim…” Jeongguk breathes the word out and Taehyung turns looking at him,
the shock and hurt screaming loud through his eyes as if he always predicted
Jeongguk would recognize his father but only wanted to believe it until he sees
it himself.
And now that they’re here, now that he confirms Jeongguk knows his father,
Taehyung appears like the physical version of a broken heart, face screwed with
deep frowns and eyes glazed with unshed tears.
Jeongguk hates, hates himself so much.
“Who—who are you? How did you get inside?” Mrs. Jeon is as taken aback as this
rage in his chest and just before the man could open his mouth, Dr. Jeon runs
out of his office room, finally realizing what’s happening and eyes bulging on
none other than Mr. Kim up there. His entire face hardens as he points straight
at the main entrance.
“Get out of my house before—”
“Before what? Before you call the cops and report my father for intruding?”
Taehyung lashes out, interrupting so bravely Jeongguk has never seen him this
mad.
Mrs. Jeon gasps, eyes once again fixed upon Mr. Kim’s indifferent expression
because of course she knows. She knows almost the whole story about Taehyung’s
family history from his grandma. She’s aware of how his father has been missing
for a long time and now when Taehyung declares the man is right here, in Jeon’s
household of all places, his mother seems like she couldn’t believe a thing
from it.
It’s true. It feels surreal and torturing all at once, even to Jeongguk
himself.
“Your father? This is your father?” She asks to Taehyung but the boy once again
ignores her for the sake of facing Dr. Jeon, gaze bloodshot on him.
“I agree. Let’s go to the cops, Dr. Jeon. Then we can file report to each
other, including all that you’ve done to my family.”
Jeongguk flinches from how vicious Taehyung sounds, there’s so much anger
dripping down from every syllable of it and Jeongguk shakes his head while
trying to step closer to him, desperate to calm his boyfriend down and settle
this in peace.
“Tae, please—” But he’s shut when Taehyung draws an abrupt distance between
them, doesn’t even give him any look while his eyes locked solely on his
mother.
It’s killing Jeongguk. He feels so hurt and it’s the worst rejection he’s ever
received, watching the love of his life refuses to be touched by him, refuses
to even look at him.
Jeongguk is breaking all over again, breathing comes out hard.
“Mrs. Jeon,” He can tell Taehyung is internally struggling too, but his voice
doesn’t waver. “I’m sure you have a lot to ask right now. I’m sorry you have to
find out everything this way. But this is the only time I can have you out of
the hospital and gather everyone for this.”
No one says a word, no one even knows what to make of this.
“There is something you need to know, and none of us can hide it from you
anymore,” Taehyung continues, eyes slowly climbing up to Dr. Jeon. “Not even
you, Dr. Jeon. Not when my dad already woke up from his coma.”
Mrs. Jeon shakes her head. “Your father was coma? What happened? How is this
related—”
“Let me introduction myself, Mrs. Jeon,” at last, the man up there speaks up as
he takes one step after another descending down the stairs and only stops once
he’s shoulder-to-shoulder with Taehyung, turning to focus on both Mrs. Jeon and
her petrified husband.
“I’m Kim Dohyeon, Taehyung’s father. A week ago, I woke up after five years in
comatose in your husband’s hospital. And if you’re wondering why I have the
access to this house, it’s because my son got the key to be in and out of this
place from your very own husband too. He has known Taehyung for quite some
times from what I heard, all the while he was hiding the fact that he kept me
in the hospital from Taehyung himself.”
Jeongguk closes his eyes, it is all feels way too strange to hear it this way,
to hear it being re-told by the comatose man himself.
“But…why would you do that?” Jeongguk reopens his eyes and Mrs. Jeon questions
it slowly to her husband, sounding almost speechless as she stares hard at him.
“Because he wants to use my son and daughter’s blood for your surgery. To save
you from your disease.”
There. Finally it is said.
Taehyung lowers his head down to the floor, hands balling up into fists by his
sides and it takes every piece of self-restrain in Jeongguk not to step up and
pull him into his arms. He can see Taehyung suffer after knowing the fact. He
knows his heart is breaking over this matter just how much Jeongguk is hurting
right now.
Yet he can do nothing about it. Nothing.
The damage is done.
And it’s already too late before he can explain it himself to Taehyung.
Jeongguk is always too late. Too late in telling him the truth, too late in
preventing himself from losing Taehyung. He is so fucking frustrating.
Mrs. Jeon shakes her head once more, even faster than before. “No…Honey, you
told me the donor—”
“He lied,” Taehyung interjects. “Whatever he’s told you is a lie, Mrs. Jeon.
All the time he was planning for this, my dad was coma. And my mom is dead. My
sister and I are underage, there’s no way he could have the official consent
unless he fabricates it.”
Jeongguk looks desperately at his mother and she keeps on opening and closing
her mouth, trying to formulate the right words yet none seems would come out.
She at last pivots to her husband.
“Is this true, Ryeonwook? Are you really doing this to Taehyung?” Dr. Jeon says
nothing, keeping still where he stands like a stone there, words totally failed
him and Mrs. Jeon throws him another question when his silence is loud enough
to confirm the matter. “But how did you know Taehyung and his sister are
suitable to be a donor?”
“Because he found me. And then the rest of my family, until he found what he
really wanted, or who he truly wanted to use,” Mr. Kim answers on behalf of
him.
“But I still don’t understand—”
“I left my family,” Mr. Kim starts, beginning to open up about the part of
story that Jeongguk himself doesn’t know. All attention focuses on him except
Dr. Jeon who keeps on shifting his weight on his feet, uneasy.
“Five years before I became comatose, I used to have an art gallery here in
Seoul, working as an artist while I had a family in Daegu. But then one day, I
found out my wife cheated on me,” he pauses for a bit, smiling a thin, sad
smile. “She even had a baby with that man.”
Jeongguk shakes his head, finally putting the puzzles bit by bit into place.
“Puppy…”
Now he understands why Puppy has such a huge age gap compared to both Taehyung
and Taerie. Now he understands why Puppy looks almost like both of the other
siblings but not quite the same. Because they have different father, they’re
step-siblings rather than the real ones.
Mrs. Jeon gulps hard. “Was it…was it with Ryeonwook?” Her eyes stay on her
husband even while she’s asking it and Mr. Kim just laughs, empty and bitter.
“No. Thankfully not,” he answers and Jeongguk is sighing in relief because if
it’s true Puppy was the baby Taehyung’s mother had with his father, that would
be ultimately fucked up. It’s bad enough all of this is happening, Jeongguk
doesn’t need to be blood-related to Taehyung as well. He would never want that
to happen. He would kill Dr. Jeon if that really is the case.
“But I still became heartbroken from knowing it. I couldn’t stand seeing her,
couldn’t stand facing the baby,” Mr. Kim continues. “So I left. I left her
without telling anyone back in Daegu where I had gone to.”
“Then mom came back to Daegu with the baby, crying like she never made a
mistake. Like she was the one left with broken heart,” Taehyung takes over but
it’s almost hard listening to him, all the coldness is gone for pain to replace
it in his tone. “Not long after that she left me and my siblings too. Said she
needed to apologize to dad about something. I would’ve laughed before if I had
known she was going to apologize because she cheated until she had a baby.”
Mr. Kim laughs instead in his place. “But my wife never changed. No matter what
she said to me of staying faithful, she still found the way to spend her time
with different man. She still thought a hospital director was way better than a
poor artist.”
Both Jeongguk and his mother snap glaring at the only hospital director they’re
talking about. Mrs. Jeon is shaking. “You…It was with you?”
“Dad…” Jeongguk asks himself as he calls him out; can someone hate his own
father as much as Jeongguk hates Dr. Jeon right at this very second?
The answer would be impossible.
Jeongguk is alone in this.
“That was where everything begun,” Mr. Kim tells without acknowledging how Mrs.
Jeon is shivering from where she stands withstanding her growing disappointment
and anger toward her husband. “I swear I was on the verge of forgiving her. I
missed my family so much and no matter what I told myself, I still loved her. I
wanted my family as one again but on that night, the night I was going to meet
her and fix everything, I found her with you, doctor.”
Mr. Kim faces Dr. Jeon straight on, first time ever since it happened. The
doctor couldn’t quite look him in the eyes and Jeongguk is disgusted from how
pathetic he looks right now.
“I’m sure you still remember what happened. You found a way to save your wife
on the same night, weren’t you?” Mr. Kim questions, sarcasm clear in his voice
and next, Mrs. Jeon breaks down.
“So—so all those nights you disappeared before, when I waited for you to visit
me in the hospital, you were actually spending time with her? With Taehyung’s
mother?” She gushes through her tears, drop by drop drenching so fast down her
cheeks. Jeongguk couldn’t stand this, couldn’t stand looking at his mother lose
her composure this way all the while Taehyung also struggles to stop himself
from shattering away.
“Fucking say something, dad!” He screams at the old man and that’s the button
it needs to push Dr. Jeon over the edge.
“I was sad, okay?!” His father blows it all out, voice thundering throughout
the house. “I was very sad after I found out your sickness! You have leukemia,
Hannie! Even when we got to detect it at early stage, you have the rare blood
type! And my hospital has none of the supply we need to save you. I was
devastated, you know! Very, totally devastated!”
Dr. Jeon doesn’t stop there, yanking his tie over his head and throwing it down
to the floor all the while he’s pacing back and forth around them, pouring his
frustration open for the rest of them to see, see how the calm, collected and
calculative doctor is baring it all raw now. He points angrily to himself.
“Me, a person who owns a freaking hospital, couldn’t even save his own wife!
And then they told me how long you would still have for your life. They told me
even if we found you a donor and you would’ve gone with the transplant, the
chances for you to survive are slim. We can prolong your life, but we won’t
have any guarantee if you would be back healthy again after that,” Mrs. Jeon
cries harder at this, and Jeongguk finally feels it coming, his own tears
blurring his vision upon his father.
“I sat through the meeting, heard all of this, and then I thought of Jeongguk,”
Dr. Jeon stops moving, hands all weak and lifeless by his sides as he juts his
chin to where his only son is standing. Shaking and struggling. “Jeongguk was
barely fourteen at that time, how do I tell him? How do I tell him he’d lose
his mom during one of these days? Where could I find the donor? Where do I
start? How do I face you? How do I face my own wife and explain all of this to
her? I was all alone during that time, Hannie. Alone.”
Jeongguk whimpers, doesn’t even realize he’s crying until the tears start to
wet his skin.
He never understands his father.
He never tries to see it from his point of view.
He never thinks of his pain.
He doesn’t know what he’s going through.
He never cares.
But now, but now…
“I was stupid. Totally and absolutely stupid and useless,” Dr. Jeon confesses
to her. “I hit the club, met your mother and she stopped the pain, even during
just at night.” He says while looking at Taehyung who already crying quietly,
eyes closed and shoulders shaking.
“The night your father found us, we all got into fight. I tried to stop
everyone but your dad just won’t listen. He ran out, your mother followed after
him. And the next thing I knew, they both were crashed over by a car,” Dr. Jeon
explains the whole story, what had happened that night five years ago, the
story of how it started everything that they’re facing now.
“I—I tried to save them both, but your mom lost so much blood so she—”
He stops and Jeongguk knows he couldn’t say it, not after how much he’s hurt
Taehyung.
“Like I told you, son,” Mr. Kim whispers, low but loud enough to be heard in
the silent space filled with nothing but the quiet sobs and whimpers. “She died
while I was coma. The only person knows the accident even happened that night
is you, Dr. Jeon. You know why I was so mad that I ran around until I didn’t
see the car coming. You found out my blood type from the surgery after the
accident. That was when you got the idea to start saving your wife.”
“He couldn’t use me. I was in comatose, there was no way would I be fit enough
to undergo transplant,” he glances back to Mrs. Jeon. “So he started learning
my background, found that my mother was transferred to Seoul to stay in
retirement home, and then he sent you there.”
Mrs. Jeon gasps through her crying, staring with wide teary eyes on Taehyung
and the young boy cracks a sorrowful smile for her. “You got close to my
grandma, aren’t you?”
Taehyung doesn’t wait for Mrs. Jeon to confirm it, because by now, everyone
could already tell the obvious. “Dr. Jeon found out everything about me from
there. Because you always told stories from your weekly volunteerism to him. He
sought me all the way to the club I worked at, pretending to be my customer,
pretending that he needed my help to apologize to you, pretending like he never
hid my father in his hospital, all just to get me become your donor. Because
like my dad, me and my sister have the same blood type too.”
Taehyung chuckles, “We made a painting of you, you know. There, in the room up
at the rooftop. Dr. Jeon asked for my help to paint your portrait, as a token
for him to apologize to you, for cheating with my mom. My mom.”
He utters it with heavy disbelief and sadness and Jeongguk bites his lips hard
enough to restrain from breaking into louder sobs. The guilt is everywhere
around them, engulfing them almost to the point of suffocating.
“Your husband is such a genius manipulator, isn’t he?” Taehyung asks
helplessly. “And as much as I want you to be alive, I cannot help you, Mrs.
Jeon.”
He says it, sounds like a firm finality and Jeongguk stares back on him.
“I am sorry,” Taehyung apologizes, deep and gentle and it’s all that Jeongguk
falls in love with just as deep as how he’s hurting right now. “You’re a very
good mother to Jeongguk, and a good friend to my grandma but I—I can’t do this.
Not after knowing everything.”
He gestures to their surroundings, indicates all of them that involves in this
mess before he takes one sharp breath in and turns to where Jeongguk is. When
their eyes meet, finally meet, Jeongguk whimpers out loud.
He can see it. He can see through Taehyung’s eyes how he doesn’t want to do
this.
Yet he has too.
He has too.
“I’m sorry, Jeongguk. I can’t save your mom. Forgive me.”
“Don’t apologize,” Jeongguk is quick to say, shaking his head. “Don’t ever
apologize when none of this is your fault. I just—”
He stops himself to gather his breath and wipes his tears to see Taehyung
clearly, to finally take his time and explain this matter from his side.
“I made a horrible mistake too,” Jeongguk says, but Taehyung doesn’t reply a
word, giving him space to continue.
“Tae, I already knew what my dad did to your family before this. I found your
father the day we followed Taerie to the hospital,” he swallows hard. “But I
swear I only knew about the consent. I knew nothing about your mom and my dad
and I didn’t know about the accident. I—” He keeps on pausing to breathe and
wipe his tears. He couldn’t stop crying.
“God, why is this so hard? I don’t…I don’t ever want to choose between you and
my mom, Taehyung. I—I tried to find a way to make the consent legal so I—”
“You what?”
“I met your grandma. I asked for her permission and she agreed. She gave me the
consent but I haven’t got the time to tell you and then you quit school and
disappeared and now we—” Jeongguk can no longer stare on him, lowering his head
to the floor and whimpering out, devastated with everything. “I just wanna make
things right, Tae. I don’t ever want to lose you,” he forces his eyes to look
up and blurts it out. “I love you.”
Taehyung’s jaw visibly tightens at that, fresh tears crowding his eyes.
“But you quit school…and your job,” he can’t do this anymore. He really can’t
stand it any longer being this far from Taehyung. Jeongguk gulps and mutters
it, small and weak and defeated. “Are you really leaving me, baby?”
He’s scared of the answer, because Taehyung’s eyes already tell everything. Yet
he needs to hear it, he needs to know.
“All of this needs to stop,” Mr. Kim interrupts, stepping in front of Taehyung
to block Jeongguk out as if he could protect him that way. He turns to face
Mrs. Jeon. “My family and I, we’re all sorry for your condition. But we can’t
help you. We won’t take any legal action for what your husband has done with
the consent. But in return, leave us alone.”
Then he throws one last glare to Dr. Jeon, final and resolute. “Don’t you dare
to even try and get anywhere near my children. I won’t let it happen anymore.”
With that, he ushers his son away. “Let’s go, Taehyung.”
Mr. Kim already steps towards the door yet just as Taehyung forces himself to
do the same, to follow, Jeongguk moves on his own and rushes to the front of
Taehyung.
“Tae,” he grabs the boy by both of his wrists and Taehyung hides his face down,
refusing to look straight at him. Jeongguk begs, because he doesn’t know what
else to do. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Taehyung.”
He tries to get Taehyung to look at him again, gently shaking Taehyung but the
other boy is stubborn, unmoving except his shoulders which Jeongguk can see
withstanding the force of his tears.
Jeongguk tries again. “I am very sorry but can we talk this out? Please—please
don’t leave me. Tae, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I swear I will fix all this. I will
make everything alright again. Just, please, let’s talk? We used to be so good
at that. Please?”
Taehyung shakes his head and glances up at him, stabbing Jeongguk’s heart again
and again because tears are everywhere; leaking by the corners of his eyes,
dripping down the slope of his nose and wetting his lips. It hurts. It hurts so
bad, what should he do to stop Taehyung from crying?
All he ever does is make Taehyung cry.
All they ever do is make each other cry.
Maybe…just maybe, they really aren’t meant for this. All of this.
“You never have to choose between me and your mom, Jeongguk,” Taehyung says at
last. “Your mom…is forever your mom. Me? I shouldn’t even be in your life in
first place. It all started with foolish revenge, remember? You made a mistake,
and that mistake is me.”
No.
No.
“Now we have to make it right,” very slowly, gently, Taehyung reaches up and
pulls Jeongguk’s hands away from his wrists. Jeongguk makes no move to grip
back because every part of him is weak, is breaking. He’s losing him.
Taehyung smiles at him, amidst the tears, broken and beautiful.
“I’ve made my choice, Jeongguk. I hope you can make yours.”
Taehyung drops his hands away and Jeongguk loses everything. Every last piece
of Taehyung, he loses it.
“Your choice…is it by leaving me?” He doesn’t recognize his own voice, so quiet
and far.
“By being with my family again,” there goes the answer and Taehyung steps away
from him.
Gone. Truly, now.
Chapter End Notes
     Twitter here if you wanna see what a mess my life is.
     Comments/feedback/curses make my day! ;D
     And happy new year in advance, sweeties! Stay loving taekook and
     spread ONLY positivity, okay? Negativity is for the losers, remember
     that. ^^
***** More than all the hate *****
Chapter Notes
     Ok, this is the boss level of angst. I'm serious. This chapter has
     shit ton of ANGST and everybody cries. Me. You. Taekook. Everyone.
     Every character. So it is not advisable to read this if you're not
     ready for a bucket whole of angst and drama.
     BUT!!!
     I PROMISE this is the LAST of the angst. Chapter 15 will be the
     ending, and chapter 16 will be the bonus chapter! Which means, a
     WHOLE LOT OF RAINBOW AND UNICORNS!!!
     Anyways, this chapter is dedicated to Bibisha and Mary. Darlings, if
     you're reading this, thank you for being born as a whole awesome
     human being. I love you!!! <3456789
See the end of the chapter for more notes
If there’s something that all the artists in Yoongi’s parlor have accustomed
to, then it must be the Kim siblings barging into the place out of a sudden
regardless of time. Be it Taehyung or Taerie, they’re familiar with them
showing up and having Yoongi tend on the two either for food or comfort.
But it’s different when it comes to Jimin. Jimin always texts first before he
arrives there. He always reminds Yoongi to prepare him extra food and blanket
and he will always make a point if he would want to stay the night or just come
for a short visit. So when he is the one barging into his parlor without any
warning ahead, Yoongi gets the hint something wrong is happening.
And Jimin doesn’t waste time, going straight to pull Yoongi away from behind
the counter and relay to him all the story of how Taehyung is currently gone,
how he’s quit school along with his job and how they need to urgently look for
him. The younger is talking like a moving bullet train and Yoongi just couldn’t
catch up fast enough to him. He tries to calm him down only for Jimin to grunt
out in frustration.
“We have to find him, hyung! He’s missing!” He stresses one more time but all
Yoongi could do is massage the space in between his brows, confusion and
bewilderment gathering into annoyance now.
“Aish, are you sure he quit the job as well?”
“Fucking yes! I went to check the club before, our manager said he’s left! I
even went to check his room and everything’s gone, hyung! His clothes, his
stuff. It’s already empty there! We have to do something! We have to find him
now!”
“Wait a minute, this is so fucked up,” Yoongi holds his palms up, signaling for
Jimin to take it slow. “Have you tried finding him at the orphanage or the
retirement home? Maybe he’s just there.”
Jimin narrows his eyes at him as if Yoongi just said something so stupid he
wants to slap him. “Hyung, you know how Tae never likes to bring trouble to his
siblings and grandma. Even if he’s in trouble, he won’t tell or burden them
with it!”
“Then where—”
And that’s when he’s stopped by the sound of the backdoor being cracked open.
Yoongi peers through Jimin’s shoulders and relief washes all over his face upon
the sight of the boy they’re arguing about walking into the room, face empty
and steps weak.
“Tae…” Jimin whips around the second Yoongi calls out that name and he doesn’t
wait to pounce on his best friend and grab his shoulders, shaking Taehyung
while he drails senses into him.
“You stupid head! I searched everywhere for you, you know? You scared everyone
shitless! Even Jeongguk doesn’t know—”
“I’m leaving, Jiminie,” both Jimin and Yoongi halt in their respective movement
once Taehyung speaks over him. Jimin is still gripping on Taehyung so tight and
Yoongi trying to disassemble them, wanting Jimin to approach this matter
calmly. But they only able to blink on Taehyung before another minute passes in
silent and Taehyung breaks it again.
“I’m leaving Seoul. I’m leaving everyone. I’m so sorry.”
Jimin drops his arms away, taking turn to sound weak. “What?”
“Taehyung, what do you mean?” Yoongi asks as well, frowning hard as he takes in
the younger in overall; the way his eyes are red and swollen by the rims as if
he’s been crying for hours, the way his shoulders sagging and the way his
unkempt hair being left just like that. There are a lot of times Yoongi’s seen
Taehyung breaks down. Yet never has he seen him looks as defeated as now.
He doesn’t just look like he’s broken. He looks like he’s given up as well.
And give up is never a good thing. It indicates the end to Yoongi.
When Taehyung doesn’t seem like he will speak anytime soon, Yoongi urges Jimin
aside and pulls Taehyung to sit on the bed of the spare bedroom. As he always
does to Taerie, he’s doing it the same now to Taehyung when he wraps a thick
blanket around him, fusses around to get his hot chocolate ready and only then
that he pulls Jimin to sit down with him on the floor, facing a very quiet
Taehyung.
Jimin keeps on fidgeting around, fear and worry screaming loud in his eyes yet
Yoongi’s glad he doesn’t make a move to say anything. They both know Taehyung
needs the time and that’s what they’re giving him, time.
Time to just sit there and stare on the mug, time to rearrange everything in
his jumbled up mind, time to simply breathe—catching up with every single
matter that has made his heart end up in tiny million pieces.
Maybe an hour or two have past. But when Taehyung finds his voice again, he
starts with a low “I have to leave Jeongguk…”
And that’s how it goes on, the three of them sitting there in circle with
Taehyung opening the pages of book from his story right from the start with his
father leaving him and his siblings, how Jeongguk first approached him for
revenge and up to the last moment when he set up the trap for everyone to meet
at the penthouse for this mess to reach an end.
He tells every single thing, he forces himself not to cry, yet on the part
where he remembers how Jeongguk had looked like just before he stepped away
from him, Taehyung breaks into tears. Effortlessly. Unstoppably.
“Mind if I join you, pretty?”He remembers glancing up at him and seeing
Jeongguk up close for the first time. Handsome of course was an understated
objective to describe Jeongguk with, yet Taehyung can’t think any better back
then. He remembers having his breath stopped, he remembers the kicking beats of
his heart—a rush of heady feeling for a very long time since anyone ever made
him intrigued.
That’s how he felt the very moment they met.
“You want me to shut up? Keep the secret away and pretend like we never met
each other before? That comes with a deal, pretty.” He remembers the sharp pang
of surprise and anxiety on the day Jeongguk showed up at school, smiling a
gorgeous smile to him and wearing the exact school uniform as him. Taehyung
couldn’t believe his eyes, couldn’t believe that the boy who had left him
wondering for quite a while was finally there once more in front of him. He had
first resigned to the fact that beautiful boy just happened to appear for one
single night, he had accepted the fact that a simple crush was impossible to
grow for somebody who just showed up one day in his life, yet he was there.
Jeongguk was there.
But he knew he can’t afford for his secret to leak, he can’t afford for anyone
from the school to know who he was. So when the younger offered to make a deal
with him, Taehyung pushed the big fat doubt away from him and signed the
contract with the devil.
That’s how he felt the second time they met.
“You’re so full of shit, aren’t you?”
“If it’s the sexy shit we’re talking about, then yeah. I’m full of it.” He
remembers how confident Jeongguk was, how the grin he flashed at him had
screamed nothing but proud. Annoyed was the first feeling he had felt at him
yet at the back of his head, Taehyung knew he was rather envious.
Taehyung was the pretty ones, Taehyung was the beauty with confidence, and no
one in his whole life had ever suppressed that. Yet here Jeongguk was, openly
charming him with his stellar visual and for once, for once, Taehyung believed
in perfection.
That’s how he felt the time when Jeongguk insisted to pest him around.
“You seem to know him outside of school, Jeon.”
“Yes, o f course I know my own boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend ? Are you two…”
“He is my boyfriend.That’s why I’m no longer having any customers. He
transferred school to be together with me.” He remembers the night at the
club’s back alley where he had tough arms gripping him around his shoulders
with Mr. Kang breathing down his neck, just to force him for “One more night.
C’mon, sweet pie, I’ll pay you more. Just one more night…” and Taehyung was on
the verge of crying. He didn’t want. He didn’t want. He just wanted all this to
stop and he wanted Mr. Kang to let him go. And in the midst of his
helplessness, Jeongguk stepped in.
Pretending to be boyfriends was never on the list. Taehyung had sworn up and
down to keep himself away as much as he can from the younger.
On that night, however, when Jeongguk first saved him, Taehyung accepted the
devil’s deal with open arms, again. He shouldn’t associate himself with
Jeongguk. He knew this matter won’t lead anywhere good.
Yet he agreed. Because he wanted to.
That’s how he felt when Jeongguk started stirring an urge in him—an urge to be
close to Jeongguk, in whatever way possible.
“Make me a list .”
“Of what?”
“Ways to Become Kim Taehyung’s Perfect Boyfriend.” He remembers the stupid list
and Taehyung cries harder.
That list was one of the dumbest things he’s ever dared himself to make. He
deemed Jeongguk was just playing with him but when the younger remembered every
single detail from it, Taehyung was gone. Gone for Jeongguk.
That’s when he knew his feeling for Jeongguk wasn’t just a simple crush.
“You’re jealous.”
“And you’re ridiculous to even think of it like that. I said fuck off!” He
remembers that one night when he lost his mind over seeing Jeongguk flirting
with a random girl, dancing on the floor with her, whispering into her ear,
roaming his hands along her curves and Taehyung just can’t control it.
He remembers he wasn’t supposed to dance that night. He wasn’t supposed to
perform. But you guessed it, he performed just to attract Jeongguk’s attention
back on him. He did it for Jeongguk.
And when the younger claimed he was jealous, Taehyung accepted it like a slap
hard on his face.
Why would he be jealous of a boy he barely knew? Why would he be jealous of his
fake boyfriend?
Taehyung thought it was ridiculous, took it as a joke and when Jeongguk blew
him, Taehyung decided it was just lust that he had for him.
A question lingered in him though, can lust make his heart feel this happy? Can
lust make his heart feel this sad once Jeongguk walked out on him?
That’s when he knew it wasn’t lust, it was something more.
“How does it feel to miss someone?”
“It feels suffocating, like you’re in pain.You reach out but there’s nothing
more you can do than longing and wanting. Missing someone feels like…like
this.” He remembers Jeongguk’s warmth when he tightened his arms around him as
he said so. He remembers how good it felt, how everything in him was soft and
he was at peace, for once.
That’s when he knew how it felt to like a boy, romantically.
“I…I want you to give me a chance. If it’s possible, give a chance for us to be
friends. For me to be your friend and get to know you better.” He remembers
when that request came to him and Taehyung was silently shocked. From fake
boyfriends to friends, that was an unlikely transition but there was nothing
more that Taehyung wanted than to be closer to Jeongguk.
So he agreed, like he always did when it came to the younger.
That’s when he knew he wanted to be more than friends with Jeongguk.
“Still wanna be my friend, rich kid? I have a high chance of being a bad
influence to you.”
“I’m not even a very good person to begin with. Bad is good for me.” He
remembers the night Jeongguk first found out he had no home, just a small room
at the back of the club, supposed to be a place where the hookers ended up with
their customers yet that was Taehyung’s sole living space.
He had been a little afraid of how a rich kid like Jeongguk would take it. But
when Jeongguk just smiled and accepted it, didn’t even judge him for a second,
Taehyung was both grateful and baffled.
That’s when he knew he wasn’t liking a rich boy with gorgeous face, he was
falling for a teenage boy with pure heart. It wasn’t about the surface, it was
about what underneath.
“Can you quit your job as a hooker?”
“Why?”
“Because that’s the only way I can protect you from Mr. Kang…” He remembers the
day when Jeongguk was frantically searching for him the day Mr. Kang had
tricked him into seeing him through Taerie. He remembers how concerned the
younger had looked and wondered if Jeongguk genuinely cared about him.
But when such question came up, “can you quit your job as a hooker?”slipped
through Jeongguk’s mouth, Taehyung dared himself to believe upon Jeongguk’s
sincerity on him.
That’s when he knew Jeongguk was no longer just a friend, Jeongguk was also a
boy who owned a piece of Taehyung’s heart.
“I like you, Jeongguk-ah.”
“Really like you, Jeongguk-ah. I’ve never been surer about my feeling before.”
He remembers his first confession to Jeongguk, on the night at the retirement
home, arms around each other, bodies swaying slow to the music around them.
Jeongguk had looked so taken aback, he had fallen quiet without answering
Taehyung and that should greet Taehyung with pain for the possibility of
Jeongguk not feeling the same way as he did for the younger.
Yet in return, Taehyung chose to not let the hurt override his true feeling for
Jeongguk.
That’s how he knew no matter how Jeongguk was feeling about him, Taehyung would
still treasure him as someone special. That’s how selfless he was back then.
“Hey, Kim. I have a secret to tell you.”
“What is it Jeon? ”
“I like you for real. Let’s be together in this shitty world.”
“I like you for real, too. You suck the least in this shitty world.” When he
remembers the day Jeongguk confessed back to him, Taehyung’s quiet sobs turn to
noisy wails, covering his face with both of his palms and whimpering in there,
out loud.
Every piece of his heart is bleeding to think of how lucky he was for Jeongguk
to fall for him too. How lucky he was for Jeongguk to reciprocate his feeling.
He remembers being so happy, so goddamn grateful and mellow and Taehyung
remembers how it felt to cradle happiness in his arms. Jeongguk was his
happiness.
That’s when he knew he was truly, absolutely, inevitably in love with Jeon
Jeongguk.
“I remember the time I first hated you, but I can’t remember the time I started
loving you.”
“Why? ”
“Because I love you every time.” And when he remembers the day when Jeongguk
first told him he loved him, Taehyung could no longer feel his bones. He’s just
an empty shell, void of any other senses except the pain consuming him because
he remembers, he remembers how broken he was when he thought Jeongguk only came
into his life for revenge. He couldn’t stand the idea of being hated by him but
still, Jeongguk fought for them and their love won.
He forgave Jeongguk and chose to start over again with the younger.
That’s when he knew if Jeongguk took courage to apologize to him, then Taehyung
will forgive him and accept him back because as much as he hated him for lying,
he loved Jeongguk even more than that. More than all the hate, more than the
revenge, more than everything.
“I love your face the first time I saw you. I love your personality the more I
got to know you. I love your heart the more you let me in into your thoughts
and feelings, and I just…love you.I love everything about you Kim Taehyung,
it’s too late to stop it now.” He remembers those words, Jeongguk’s voice,
Jeongguk’s teary eyes as he stared at him and Taehyung can only cry. Cries,
cries, cries.
That’s when he knew, he loved Jeongguk the most.
Still loves him the most.
“Tae, my mom is really sick. She’s dying. If I say you’re the only one who can
save her, would you be her donor?” He remembers pretending to be asleep. He
remembers lying there on Jeongguk’s chest and trying hard not to break away.
He already knew by that time Jeongguk came seeking his grandma for the consent.
He already knew Jeongguk made effort to make things right. Yet he also can’t
forgive Dr. Jeon for what he had done to his father.
Taehyung is just a human. He isn’t saint enough to blindly accept things and be
okay with it.
So when he chose his family, Taehyung knew there was no going back.
Instead, he pretended not to hear him, he pretended to sleep and he pretended
that he can own Jeongguk for one more night. He can love him for one more
night. He can be Jeongguk’s for only one more day.
That’s when he knew his broken heart won’t ever truly heal again after he left
Jeongguk.
“I am very sorry but can we talk this out? Please—please don’t leave me. Tae,
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I swear I will fix all this. I will make everything
alright again. Just, please, let’s talk? We used to be so good at that.
Please?” He remembers his pleas, he can still hear the desperation in
Jeongguk’s voice, he can still feel the shakiness in the way Jeongguk’s hands
were holding on him—as if too afraid to let him go, and Taehyung knows he won’t
ever forget how terrible it was to deny Jeongguk, to push him away from his
life.
It’s impossible. It’s impossible, yet he did it.
He pretended he didn’t hear a single word from Jeongguk and let him go.
And Taehyung’s still alive, breathing with beating heart, yet he doesn’t
understand why the feeling now seems so close like he’s facing death.
That’s when he knew stepping away from Jeongguk was the same as someone cutting
off his oxygen supply, it was the same as someone running him over with a
truck, it was the same as someone pushing him over a high edge, and it was the
same as death.
“Your choice…is it by leaving me?”
“By being with my family again,” He hears the hollow in his own voice and
Taehyung remembers he’s given up Jeongguk.
It is him who gave them up. Not Jeongguk, but him. And everything is back to
zero now, gone.
That’s when he knew he wasn’t just giving up a boy, he also gave up his
happiness. His moon. His stars. His sun. His rainbow. His thunderstorm. His
whole love. His fucking world.
He has given up on the best thing in his life.
And Taehyung has nothing left but tears, tears and tears.
“It’s okay, Tae,” Yoongi rushes forward to pull him into his arms, allowing
Taehyung to drench the whole front of his shirt. Somewhere at the back maybe
Jimin is crying as well but he can’t be too sure, his head is feeling as light
as it is heavy. All at once. Yoongi kisses his temple and rubs his back, up and
down. Up and down. “It’s for the best. That family can’t keep on using you or
your family. You’re leaving for good. It’s okay.”
“But Jeongguk—Jeongguk…Jeongguk, he—” Taehyung tries to speak, tries to make
Yoongi understand but no words are sufficient enough to describe everything. No
words are enough to explain his pain.
Yoongi takes pity and whispers gently at him, “He’ll be okay, Tae. He will be
okay, trust me.”
That sounds so much like a lie, but Taehyung has nothing more to believe in so
he chooses to trust Yoongi. Forcefully, he believes in that. Jeongguk will be
okay.
===============================================================================
 
Mrs. Jeon has chosen to go back to the hospital right on the same night after
the entire chaos had happened like a quick tornado. She didn’t say a word to
her husband and Dr. Jeon seemed too guilty to try and justify himself, only
able to give her a long, fleeting stare all the way she was walking through the
door before Jeongguk followed after her.
He can’t be in the same space with his father. Especially now that he’s seen
the puzzles are in place together forming the ugliest picture ever. So here he
is, sitting next to Mrs. Jeon’s hospital bed, keeping his gaze low to the floor
and his mouth silent.
Yet it’s the kind of silence that sounds too loud, speaks too much.
That is until, Mrs. Jeon finally looks at him from where she’s resting her back
against the bed headboard.
“I understand why Taehyung did what he did, why he chose to leave,” she starts
and Jeongguk knows he’s not ready to talk about this. But he can live the rest
of his life without Taehyung and still never be ready to accept the harsh
truth. So he lets his mother continue.
“All his life, that boy didn’t have a real place to belong, a home or a person
to be his pillar of strength. Now that his father is back, of course he would
want to start anew with him,” she rationalizes and it’s true. The reason to
Taehyung’s sudden explosion on the matter is plain and simple, yet Jeongguk is
petty and stupid. He can’t accept that, at least not consciously.
He questions, “But does he really need to leave me?”
Because one time he’s had all of Taehyung. Then in the next second, he has
none. Gone. Disappeared. Lost. Just like that. He didn’t know when Taehyung
handed his quit letter to their school. He didn’t know when Taehyung packed his
stuff and quit his job. He didn’t know when Taehyung planned all of this. He
doesn’t even know where Taehyung would live after this.
All he knows he is here alone, without Taehyung and with a very high chance of
losing his mother any minute now. Jeongguk is so out of ideas on how to deal
with all this. He wants to cry, but he’s more angry than sad. He wants to lash
out, but he’s more disappointed than mad. He wants to accept this is the best
that it should be, but he’s more confused than relieved even after everything
is out in the open. His feelings are all spiraling everywhere in his chest and
his head is an utter mess, he can’t think straight.
“I won’t force him to become a donor if he said no. I tried to make things
right, mom. I asked his grandma for legal consent and if he still didn’t want
to be a donor, then that’s fine too,” Jeongguk sniffles, glancing up to Mrs.
Jeon with red-rimmed eyes and voice that barely alive. “Why did he walk away
from me? Why everything I do is wrong? Why everything turned out like this?”
His mother visibly gulps, stretching a hand forward to cup it around Jeongguk’s
cheek and stares on him long and quiet as if she’s struggling to find the right
words to explain to him. One thing is for sure, Jeongguk knows no words would
be enough to comfort him from the pain of losing Taehyung.
It is him who has lost him. It’s him. Him. Alone.
“Jeongguk, honey, if everything that happened to him is happening to you,
knowing your father is kept hidden by someone who pretends to care about you
all this time only at the end to know it’s just for the sake of taking your
blood, would you be able to forgive that person? Would you have the strength to
face the family who did that to you?” Mrs. Jeon tries to change his
perspective, tries to make him wear Taehyung’s shoes and Jeongguk snaps his
eyes close.
He doesn’t need to imagine to understand Taehyung’s pain. He knows it must have
been difficult for the other boy too. First, he found out how Jeongguk was
after him for revenge. Second, he found out how Jeongguk’s father was after him
to save his wife. If Jeongguk is in Taehyung’s place, he wouldn’t have left in
peace. He would resort to painful revenge and he would never ever forgive Dr.
Jeon.
Because Jeongguk is never as strong as Taehyung. He’s weak, especially towards
hatred.
“Taehyung could have had that happiness long ago, he could have lived with his
father way before if all of this didn’t happen but he lost all the chances.
Why? Because your father is a coward. He never had the strength to tell the boy
the truth. He never had the strength to tell all of us the truth,” Jeongguk
opens his eyes to look back at his mother and there is a smile across her face,
a sad one. “We’re lucky Taehyung didn’t do anything harmful to any of us. He
just…decided to leave.”
Yeah, Taehyung is a better person than him. A better person than all of them,
he knows that too.
“So let him go, honey,” she’s telling him to accept this. To move on. “For
once, we need to respect his choice.”
And all dams break away, tear after tear dropping down his eyes until only
layers of blur filling Jeongguk’s sight.
“I’m sorry, mom. I’m so sorry. I—” Jeongguk tries to breathe in between the
sobs, but he can’t. He can’t. His chest feels too tight. His eyes feel too
heavy and his brain feels too small. “I couldn’t save you. None of us could
save you, we—we failed you. I failed both you and Taehyung and I—”
“Stop that,” Mrs. Jeon states firmly while she moves to gather him into her
arms. “You have done everything you could so just stop.”
Jeongguk gives up talking, yet his whimpers continue, shaking so much that he
rocks Mrs. Jeon together with him as his mother runs her palms everywhere
across his back, trying to soothe him.
“I’ll be fine, Jeongguk,” her voice has turned to watery, probably crying as
well. “With or without donor, I’ll be fine.”
Jeongguk shakes his head so hard against her shoulder. She won’t be fine.
Jeongguk won’t be fine. Nothing is fine about this.
It hurts.
Hurts.
Cradling the back of his head into her palm, she threads her fingers through
the locks and pats his head, whispering low into his ear all the while Jeongguk
is wailing away. “Me, your mother, is the only person you won’t ever have to
lose. You’ll always have me, okay? I promise.”
Promise.
Promise is always made to be broken so why would he believe in it now?
Taehyung and him had promised to always stay together too but where are they
now?
Broken. Two pieces apart, away from each other.
He doesn’t want to believe it yet Jeongguk has nothing left to trust in. So he
gives a weak nod, holding on to Mrs. Jeon because she is all that he has now.
Taehyung’s gone. He left him. Jeongguk needs to be okay with that.
===============================================================================
 
Surely it is easier said than done.
It’s been three—four? (Every second of Jeongguk’s life has been so slow and
difficult after that night as if he’s living in backward now instead of moving
further. He can’t help but feel like yesterday just happened the next time he
wakes up, still couldn’t believe he needs to live without Taehyung. Still
couldn’t believe Taehyung’s gone.)—days since the incident happened and
Jeongguk finds himself being occupied with his sleeping pills again.
He hadn’t consumed it since he first found out about Mrs. Jeon’s sickness, but
nowadays, he becomes so dependent on them that his therapist left him an advice
to try and cure his insomnia through different ways.
Jeongguk hasn’t been eating well too. He knows this because of how frequent
Seokjin or Hoseok show up at his apartment with takeouts or home-cooked food to
improve his appetite. Hoseok has learned about everything two days earlier,
probably heard the story from Jimin and the first thing he did was offering to
come over and shower Jeongguk with piles of movies, from Marvel series to
anime. He didn’t question much, which Jeongguk totally was grateful for yet
Jeongguk noticed the worried stare lingering on him.
He convinced Hoseok he was fine. He’s fine.
But nothing really works.
One night when sleep is particularly hard to come even after he downed two
tablets of the pill, Jeongguk leaves his bed with a heavy sigh and strolls
around the house.
He doesn’t know where to go, doesn’t have anyone to text and when he reaches
his narrow kitchen, Jeongguk goes straight to sit down on the kitchen floor.
It’s empty here, silent as always, yet from the view this low, it replays the
time when he used to eat bucket ramen with Taehyung here the first time his
boyfriend had visited this apartment.
Ex-boyfriend.
He curses his head. It’s moment like this drives him the most crazy.
Jeongguk hastily gets back to his feet to fog the memory away yet the second
his eyes catch the countertop, he sees something else that brings back more
memories of him and Taehyung. Azalea, the flowers lying there, in the process
of withering away since Jeongguk never bothers to do more than just sprinkling
a few drops of water every morning on it. Seeing them now makes him wonder what
the meaning of the flowers is.
He isn’t sure if Taehyung was that much of a hopeless romantic. He doesn’t
think Taehyung would buy it based on any specific meaning it would bring. But
Jeongguk is an idiot who searches deeper the more he refuses to remember it so
here he is, standing in his kitchen 2 a.m. in the morning with his phone,
browsing for what Azalea means.
And once he finds it, Jeongguk swears he becomes from an idiot to the
stupidest.
Take care of yourself for me is what written on the screen.
Take care of yourself for me.
Azalea isn’t just a flower. They’re not just flowers. They’re Taehyung’s
message to him. They’re what Taehyung wanted to tell him, to remind him.
For Jeongguk to take care of himself.
He had been hinting all this since the day they went for the date why was
Jeongguk so blind and brainless?
Dropping his phone away, Jeongguk rushes around for a jar. By the time he’s
filling the glass with water, his own tears could probably be enough to replace
the one from the tap. He arranges the Azalea into the jar, he stares long
enough on them, bursting of colors from purple to orange to yellow and it all
reminds him of Taehyung.
Taehyung, Taehyung, Taehyung.
He misses him so much.
Jeongguk slides back down to the floor and continues to cry in the cradle of
his bent knees.
He isn’t sure for how long but that’s where he falls asleep, tears thick in his
eyes and heart beats every second with I miss you, Tae.
===============================================================================
 
“Jeongguk!”
There’s a firm grip on his right shoulder before Jeongguk is stabilized to his
feet again. He has to blink once, twice, and a few times more for the sudden
popping of black dissolving away from his eyes. He can still feel his heart
drumming in his ears, sweats clinging to every inch of his skin and the music a
distant echo around the studio. And next, someone steps in front of him, the
same person who has steadied him from tripping over his own legs.  
“You okay?” Hoseok frowns as he scans him up and down—the default, highly alert
expression he has now around Jeongguk instead of his usual, cherry smile.
The younger can only grunt out, “I’m fine.”
He slips out of his hold and limps back to the starting position of his dance
routine, replaying the music through his phone to begin once more with his
practice only for Hoseok to physically walk over to the stereo and unplug the
current out of the socket. His face is as blank as ever while silence creeps
into the empty studio.
“The fuck you do, hyung?” Jeongguk hisses, annoyance rising in his voice.
“You’re not fine and you need a rest,” Hoseok states, calm and collected.
“You’ve gone through the routines for five hours straight but I see no
improvement at all. It’s worsening. Stop it, obviously you can’t focus.”
“That’s why I have to keep on practicing! Put the music back on,” Jeongguk
reasons, face almost begging him, yet Hoseok stands his ground. “No. You’re not
doing this now. You’ll faint.”
Just a click of his tongue and Jeongguk storms over to where Hoseok is
standing. He tries to reach past the elder for the plug but lethargy fails him
just when Hoseok grabs his arm to halt him and Jeongguk almost stumbles forward
from the force.
“Jeon Jeong—”
The door of the studio parts open and Jimin makes his entrance, pausing every
movement in midway.
“Oh,” he only realizes Jeongguk is in the middle of wrestling for the plug with
his boyfriend once he glances up to them. Everything is awkward at an instant.
Jeongguk pushes Hoseok away from him, dropping his eyes while Hoseok looks back
and forth from the younger to his boyfriend. Jimin clears his throat, “Urm,
hyung? I thought you finished already?”
“I am, but this guy just won’t—”
“I’ll go back then,” Jeongguk interjects, moving in a rush as he collects his
sports bag, towel and water bottle from one corner where he first dumped them
and dashes for the exit, not even once looking at Jimin.
Just in time the youngest breezes his way next to him, Jimin quietly questions
him. “Jeongguk, you okay?”
It halts him halfway through the door but Jeongguk doesn’t look back, only able
to respond a low “Yeah,” before he entirely leaves the place.
“He’s avoiding me,” Jimin suddenly isn’t sure where to move to, lingering by
the door, shoulders sagging as he recalls how messy and troubled Jeongguk had
looked like.
“Of course he’s avoiding you. You remind him of Taehyung,” Hoseok chuckles, but
it’s the kind of laughter that’s more sinister than mirthful. Jimin blinks
confusedly at him, taken aback by his tone. “I’m extremely worried of him. He’s
way too tired to dance but still come to practice everyday and then overwork
himself. I can’t let him go on like this.”
Jimin gives a slow nod. “Me too. I can see how pale he is just now.”
“Are you sure you can’t tell me anything about Taehyung’s whereabouts?” Hoseok
asks, a little desperate right now and Jimin pleads him with a look full of
guilt.
“Hyung…We—we talked about this, I promised Tae—”
“But can’t you see how much Jeongguk is suffering every single day? If Tae’s
still in Seoul, why can’t we let them meet even just for a day?” The elder’s
voice is starting to rise, red gradually takes over his face.
“And how would that help Jeongguk?” Jimin throws back, his own patience running
thin. “How would that help Taehyung? Doesn’t see each other would only make
things harder?”
Hoseok hisses, arms crossing over his chest. “But at least it would put
Jeongguk at peace if he can have a proper goodbye with Tae!”
Jimin gasps out loud, eyes widening in disbelief of what his boyfriend just
said.
“They had their proper goodbye! Taehyung put out the truth for everyone and
that was it! It’s not his fault if Jeongguk can’t handle his feelings, he’s not
the only one in pain!” He bravely barks back because hell yeah, they’re doing
this. Hoseok lashes out at him for something that is out of his control and
Jimin just can’t accept that.
“My Jeongguk isn’t just dealing with nasty breakup, he has his mother on the
verge of dying!”
“And my Taehyung just learned how his mom died less than two weeks before, and
how his little brother isn’t his true blood and some rich asshole was just
using him for his own family’s advantage! Don’t you dare tell me that’s easy to
take in!”
Then only comes the tight silence.
Hoseok with his clenched jaw while Jimin is breathing so hard he has to keep
his fists by his sides or one of them potentially might have met with Hoseok’s
face right now.
“Come here,” Hoseok says at last, voice still stone hard.
“No. You’re a jerk and a selfish and I particularly dislike you right now. I’m
out,” and with that, Jimin spins back around to throw himself out of the studio
but as always, his height is at a disadvantage as he couldn’t walk fast enough
away from Hoseok before the taller boyfriend catches up and Jimin finds himself
being dragged back into the room.
“Jung Hoseo—”
He’s cut off short, body slammed to the door, closing it at the same time and
next, Hoseok is in his face—both palms trapping his cheeks and lips eagerly
pressing against his own. Jimin stiffens with nothing else to do. It takes him
a few seconds to recover, yet with insisted lick on his lower lip, Jimin snaps
his eyes close and gives in. He kisses Hoseok back just as heatedly, tiny arms
coming to wrap around the elder’s neck while Hoseok covers his waist with his
arms, holding close and tight.
Gone all the previous harsh words thrown at each other, gone all the reasons he
formulated in his mind to hate Jung Hoseok for his impulsiveness before. All
that Jimin wants right now is to breathe his boyfriend in, and Hoseok is at the
same level, licking greedily into his mouth and nipping his soft lip until a
needy whimper stumbles out of the younger. Hoseok slowly pulls away, fixing
Jimin with a gentle stare as he brushes the tips of their noses together,
comforting them both from their short argument.
“What—what was that for?” Jimin asks, voice rough and Hoseok laughs against his
mouth, tasting sweet instead of anger.
  “I…I don’t know, I just—” Hoseok shakes his head, about to pull away yet
Jimin’s small fingers threaded through the hair at his nape restrains him from
moving any further. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Jiminie. I didn’t mean—”
“I know,” Jimin silences him with a peck. “I understand you’re worried about
Jeongguk. I’m worried of him too but if you can see Taehyung yourself, you
won’t be blaming him at all.”
“I guess…I was being stupid for a second,” Hoseok reasons and still feels like
a total shithead in the process. Even if he’s frustrated with what’s happening
with their friends, he shouldn’t have taken it out on Jimin. His boyfriend has
been nothing but a precious ball of fluff and sweetness. Hoseok rests his
forehead against Jimin’s. “I grew up with Jeongguk, you know. He hadn’t been as
happy as he was all along Tae was with him in his entire life. I know he lost a
big part of him and now must be a difficult time for him.”
“I understand. Hyung, trust me. It’s not easy for me to see how Taehyung is
nowadays too.”
Hoseok rubs comforting circles on Jimin’s hipbones before slipping his hands
underneath the shirt, rubbing at warm skin. “Is he fine?”
Jimin’s face glooms again. “Not yet. But he will be.”
“Yeah, Jeongguk too. He’ll be fine.”
They stay pressed on each other like that for a moment before Hoseok lowers his
head to the side of Jimin’s neck, kissing him there.
“Sorry, baby. I overreacted just now.”
A few seconds and still no answer from Jimin, as if he’s about to give Hoseok
cold treatment for being such a jerk. But then, he giggles.
“It’s cool. You’re hot when you’re angry actually.” Hoseok smirks against his
skin. “Kinky shit.”
Jimin’s beautiful giggle resonates through the studio.
===============================================================================
 
“Boss, someone’s looking for you.” Yoongi is in the middle of sorting the cash
behind the machine when one of his artists approaches him. He remains focused
on the task at hand as he rapidly recalls if he’s supposed to entertain any
booked session today. At last he replies with “I don’t have any reservation
today though.”
“Well I don’t really make one.”
The voice belongs to one of the rarest people who would come here. Yet Yoongi
finds himself doesn’t really surprised to see Jeon Jeongguk grinning down at
him as he glances up. He should have predicted this. He’s one of the closest
connections to Taehyung after all. This boy will come here sooner or later for
it.
“It’s Thursday, right?” He asks, queer look on show as he waves for his artist
to excuse them.
“Yup,” Jeongguk purposefully pops the ‘p’ in his answer, oddly cheeky.
“Then you should be at school.”
The younger shrugs, climbing over the counter to make himself comfortable
there.
“Nothing’s interesting at school, nothing that I really care about.” Jeongguk
pretends to be nonchalant but Yoongi can see right through him how the younger
is more tired and defeated than he ever lets it show. He sighs, standing up to
regard him solemnly.
“What are you actually doing here?”
“To get tattooed, of course,” Jeongguk states the obvious before turning to the
direction where a wall filled with Yoongi’s best tattoo arts are hung there. He
points on a messy crayon sketch framed just like the rest. Three people—one
tall male, holding hands with a toddler in the middle and there’s a female
holding his other hand by his other side. It’s a family. Taehyung’s siblings,
the one drawn by Puppy. “I want that one, exactly like that. Can you tattoo it
for me?”
Yoongi stays silent and after a while, Jeongguk finally turns back to him.
“Hyung?” He has the queer look replaced with complicated one now, almost as if
he’s pity of Jeongguk yet at the same can’t really deny him on anything.
“Jeongguk, if you come here only to—”
“I won’t ask where he is, hyung.” Jeongguk knows where this is going, and
honestly he’s been battling with himself to ask Yoongi the same. But that’s not
why he is here. “Yes, I’m dying to know. Yes, I’m dying to see him. Hell, I
miss him so much but I…I accept his decision.”
Jeongguk smiles to himself, staring down at his lap. Baby steps, that’s all he
needs.
“If he’s happy being away from me then I—I’ll deal with it,” the words feel
bitter on his tongue. “And this is how I cope. This place is the closest I can
get to Taehyung so…”
He loses the idea to explain more. He’s pretty much sure Yoongi would know
where Taehyung really is now. However, he’s still going to keep his words. He’s
respecting Taehyung’s decision and this morning when this unbearable longing
cramped over his heart, Jeongguk decided to come to Yoongi’s place. This tattoo
parlor had always been Taehyung’s safe haven and since he’s foolish enough to
miss him, Jeongguk hopes by being around here, he can pretend Taehyung is
somewhere near him.
Unseen but safe. Untouchable but there.
“Sit down, I’ll get the tools ready,” and Yoongi questions no more, leaving the
counter while pointing to one of the leather chairs for Jeongguk to take his
place. Of course Jeongguk is more than happy to comply, waiting while
chitchatting lightly with the artists nearby until Yoongi wheels his stool next
to him, black hand gloves already on.
“Where do you want it?”
“Somewhere here,” Jeongguk takes off his jacket and runs his left palm over the
side of his right arm. “On my right bicep, maybe?”
Yoongi fiddles with the needle in one hand, Puppy’s sketch in the other, before
he lets out another sigh. “Jeongguk, let me remind you that tattoo is forever.”
“Hyung, I’m not that stupid,” Jeongguk says plainly.
“No. It just means you’ll have this inked forever on your skin, forever be a
part of you. You sure you want it?” Jeongguk gives Yoongi his bunny grin in
return of his hesitation.
“It’s not anyone’s fault Taehyung is all I wanted.”
Some of the concern in Yoongi’s face melts away into something soft. Jeongguk
chuckles, brushing a finger over the thin paper, feeling the dry crayon has
turned crusty over days being kept in the frame. He eyes it with certain
fondness.
“Puppy drew this, it reminds me of Taehyung and his siblings. And even when
he’s gone, I want to have something that reminds me how he used to be mine. He
was mine, hyung.” Jeongguk hates how quiet his voice is, how melancholic he
sounds and how Yoongi stares at him as if he’s helpless. Helplessly in love.
Foolishly doesn’t know how to give up.
“You gonna hate this so much one day when you’ve moved on.”
“But I’ll never hate Taehyung for sure.”
Yoongi tuts, injecting the black liquid ready into the machine next to him.
“Silly boy, Jeongguk. Really silly.”
And Jeongguk laughs it off but never says a word anymore all along the session
begins. It hurts like hell since this is the first time he ever gets inked.
He’s basically a newbie in this stuff and ‘you pussy should know how to handle
this’says Yoongi before he goes and lectures Jeongguk throughout the three
hours with 101 steps of tattoo aftercare. Later once Jeongguk is satisfied with
how the little tattoo sits on his bicep, can’t really stop admiring it and paid
only half the usual price since Yoongi is that kind-hearted, he’s handed with a
small slip with places and numbers written on it.
“This doesn’t look like receipt?” Jeongguk holds it up curiously.
“’Cuz it’s not, you fool. It’s the address to Puppy’s kindergarten.”
Jeongguk almost crumples it in his fist from the force of his surprise,
snapping around to look disbelievingly at Yoongi. The artist only rolls his
eyes.
“He should be out of class around another hour. If you be there early, you
might catch a glimpse of him there.”
“Hyung…” Jeongguk looks like he could cry but Yoongi dismisses him by
scratching his nape.
“I don’t know how long he would still attend it, Guk. But I do know Puppy will
quit it too and they’ll move somewhere else as a whole family. Catch your luck
while you might still have it.”
“Thank—thank you, hyung. So much.” Jeongguk holds the tiny paper dearly to his
chest, eyes crystalized. Yoongi curves up a smirk, wondering why two people who
truly want to be with each other are so hard to find their way together.
This is why he’s against romance. Things often get messy and twisted and Yoongi
is too sober for it.
“Just don’t do something that Taehyung won’t want you to do.”
“Of course I won’t. I’ll just—I’ll see him from afar. Bye hyung! Thanks again!”
He runs out of the shop and really, Yoongi only wants Jeongguk and Taehyung to
be happy as he watches the younger from behind.
===============================================================================
 
He has no intention of going anywhere close to the boy. As his promise with
Yoongi, Jeongguk is really just going to watch from afar and maybe if he’s
lucky enough, he would get to see Taehyung as well if he’s the one picking
Puppy up from school today. Groups of toddlers pacing out through the entrance
gate, some of them head straight to the buses and vans waiting for them, some
others are running into the arms of their parents, delighted to see them again.
Only among all those kids, one for particular stands out unusually as he’s
walking alone to sit on a bench outside the gate.
With tiny hands clutching the straps of his yellow school bag, big eyes
wondering around for the one he’s waiting for, he’s unmistakably Puppy. The
hurt in Jeongguk’s heart melts away a little upon the sight of him.
He isn’t supposed to be seen, already thought he’s doing a good job in hiding
himself in between the vans. But fate always has this urge to ruin his plan
when Puppy moves his eyes around and lands them straight on him. Jeongguk
gulps, readying himself to bolt away in case the baby doesn’t recognize him.
Yet all goes down in vain once the kid stands up to his feet, eyes wide to
Jeongguk’s direction.
“Gukkie hyung?” He shouts over to him, attracting attention from a couple of
parents and van drivers and it would be odd if Jeongguk to deny who he is now.
So with an awkward wave, he flashes his best smile to him.
“Hi, baby.”
The grin that stretches across Puppy’s face is blinding. He doesn’t waste
another second to run straight to Jeongguk and shouts for him again, ball of
energy bursting out of him. “Hyung!”
Jeongguk can’t help but laugh too because the boy’s happiness is so infectious.
He lowers to his knees and spreads open his arms just in time Puppy leaps into
them.
“I missed you! Puppy hasn’t seen you for a while!”
Jeongguk holds him close and drops a kiss to his citrus scented hair. “I missed
you too, sweetheart. How are you?”
“I’m great!” Puppy pulls back, keeping his little palms resting on either side
of Jeongguk’s shoulders and starting to relay stories to him. “I’ll move to a
new house! Daddy already bought one for us so Puppy and Taerie noona don’t need
to sleep with the orphans anymore! We’ll have our own room and bed!”
Jeongguk’s smile gradually flattens to the news, knowing that whenever Taehyung
and his family are planning to move, it won’t be long before Jeongguk would
truly lose all the access to get to him.
“I see,” he tries not to sound so disappointed. “That’s…That’s totally awesome,
Puppy-ah.”
He shouldn’t do this. He shouldn’t question. He promised himself it’s better to
not know but…Jeongguk just recently learned he has one biggest weakness. And
that weakness is Taehyung. So he swallows, and asks and hates himself for it.
“Do you…Do you know where you’ll move to?”
Puppy blinks, lashes cutely fluttering up and down as he struggles to find the
right answer. “Hmm, I’m not sure. Daddy and Taetae hyung never tell me. They
just told me to pack and follow them.”
Of course. Why did he even expect a kid to know so much about this? Jeongguk is
an idiot. He smiles instead, covering the disappointment that attacks him one
after another.
“Okay then, Puppy. Wherever it is, I hope you and your family would be happy
starting anew there.”
“Will Gukkie hyung come help us move the boxes?”
This kid surely knows how to play with his heart. Jeongguk hears it shattering
to pieces upon the thought of sending Taehyung away in peace, sending Taehyung
away with the possibility of seeing him again after that.
“I wish I could too but I…” Jeongguk strokes Puppy’s rosy tiny cheek while he
waits.
“You?”
“I can’t even make your brother happy, baby. Let alone to help him with
anything else. I’m sorry,” he whispers, stopping himself from crying in front
of this baby. Puppy furrows his brows, tilting his head to a side as he regards
Jeongguk weirdly. “Hm? Why are you sorry?”
Jeongguk laughs, feeling his eyes grow wetter because Puppy doesn’t understand
a thing, but he’s still the cutest little human ever. Jeongguk drops one last
kiss to his forehead and gently places him back down to the ground before he
stands up as well.
“Anyways, I’ll see you around, Puppy. If we ever meet again.”
With a wave, Jeongguk turns and begins to walk before the kid could try to stop
him. Meeting Puppy was such a bad, bad idea. Before this he only knew of the
fact that Taehyung had left him. But now, not only he knows Taehyung’s left
him, he also knows he’s going to go to a place unknown and far away from
Jeongguk.
This is hopeless.
Jeongguk needs to stop torturing himself.
He needs to move on and live up to every word he’s told himself.
He needs to forget Taehyung. He needs to erase him from his mind and heart. He
needs—
There’s a sudden blaring of honk invading his ears so loud and clear before
tires screeching against the road and Jeongguk looks up to the breezy feeling
of someone pulling him harshly backward.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”
For a second he’s not even breathing, eyes moving in frantic circle as Jeongguk
has just noticed the car abruptly stopping there, about to crash into him. And
in the next second, he slowly turns around to the person who pulled him back to
the safety of the side road and Taehyung fills his sight.
There he is looming before Jeongguk, hands shaking madly from where he has
deadly grip on Jeongguk’s arms and eyes misty red from the worries and concern
screaming through them.
Taehyung is always the prettiest. He’s always the most beautiful regardless of
whatever expression he has on that perfect face.
He thought too much he didn’t realize he was crossing the road to the traffic
still moving around. He thought too much he didn’t realize Taehyung was here to
save him.
But if this is the only way to see him again, Jeongguk can cross the road and
die a million times and still won’t regret a thing.
That’s how crazy he is to see Taehyung, to meet him again.
===============================================================================
 
The bell on top of the door glass echoes throughout the bar and Jeongguk
glances up to see if the person he’s waiting for is here. After more than five
persons entered this place and none of them was Taehyung, Jeongguk wanted to
give up. He assumes it’s mindless for Taehyung to agree and meet up with him
here especially after the stunt he pulled outside of Puppy’s school before. But
when Taehyung’s beautiful yet slightly tired face catches his sight, Jeongguk
can’t stop his hope from skyrocketing high.
He tries to smile yet Taehyung cuts off their eye contact by looking away all
the while he’s walking to the private booth Jeongguk’s seating at. He takes his
time to really study him as Taehyung makes himself comfortable on the seat
opposite of him. Nothing has really changed about the elder even after almost
two weeks they haven’t seen each other. But there’s also something new about
his face. His eyes, if Jeongguk can point it out, appear less lively than the
times they were together before. Jeongguk wants to believe Taehyung is happy
with his current life without him but now, seeing the elder look so solemn and
distant, he’s starting to doubt it.
“You sent him home safely?” He asks, referring to how he had asked Taehyung to
send Puppy home first before coming here to have a talk with him.
Talk about what, he’s not so sure. It’s not like they have anything left to
talk. It’s all said and done. He just wanted to meet Taehyung face to face,
that’s the prime reason which Jeongguk’s afraid to admit.
Taehyung answers him with a nod, fiddling with the tip of his sleeves, still
refusing to look straight at him.
Jeongguk clears his throat, trying to make this conversation flow naturally.
“So your father is okay with taking care of Puppy?”
Taehyung stops his fiddling, thinking for a second before he sighs. “Okay or
not, he has no right to reject him. He’s been with us since forever. Even when
Puppy is the by-product of my mom and the unknown man, he’s innocent. My dad
has to suck it up.”
Jeongguk nods, agreeing with that. Most of them are just victims from their
parents’ past bad decisions. Even when Puppy is just their half-brother,
Jeongguk can’t imagine Taehyung’s life without him. Mr. Kim needs to learn to
accept him and be okay with that.
He shifts around in his chair, out of ideas on what else to approach.
“Thanks for coming back to see me here,” he settles with voicing his lame
gratitude. Taehyung seems to clench his jaw with annoyance hearing it.
“I’m not here for chitchat, Jeongguk,” his voice is firm as he finally looks
straight at Jeongguk, eyes piercing sharp knives into his heart. “Just…what the
fuck did you think you were doing? Coming to my brother’s school? Blindly
crossing the road? You could have got yourself killed, Jeon Jeongguk!”
He bursts out, fists trembling from where he’s clenching them on top of the
table. Odd enough, even when anger is all he gets from Taehyung, Jeongguk still
manages to smile, knowing he’s mad because he’s worried of him.
“But I didn’t, you got to me on time,” he replies lightheartedly.
“But you won’t always be lucky like this time! You need to be more careful
after this!”
“Then don’t leave me.”
It slips out on automatic, without any thinking, without considering. It’s just
all that Jeongguk has been chanting in his mind since the second Taehyung
filled that seat in front of him.
“…what?”
Jeongguk is just so tired. He locks his gaze straight on Taehyung and chooses
to be honest.
“Don’t leave me, Taehyung. You know I’m reckless and always impulsive and I
need you there so don’t leave me.”
Taehyung’s lower lip visibly quivers at that. “You can’t just say things like
these to me, Jeongguk.”
“Sorry,” he averts his eyes away, no longer able to hold his sight on Taehyung
since the elder’s eyes have slowly glazed over. And that’s never a good sign.
“I hurt you again, am I?”
Taehyung doesn’t answer him. Jeongguk doesn’t dare to look. He laughs instead,
internally cursing his pathetic self.
“Hey, that’s the thing I’m the best at, you know. Hurting you and making you
cry. Right from the fucking start.”
“Jeongguk, please. Stop.”
He refuses to stop. If he stops at this moment, he won’t be seeing Taehyung
again. He will have no reason left and it will truly be the last time. Jeongguk
doesn’t want that.
“I need a drink. You want a drink? I’ll buy you one. Waiter!” He isn’t sure why
he changes the topic so abruptly yet his hand is already up in the air even
before Taehyung could reject him. Jeongguk flashes a grin that doesn’t quite
reach his eyes. “Remember the first night we met and I offered to buy you a
drink? Remember how you liked my choice? Let me surprise you again now.”
At this point, he’s pretty much sure he’s the only one trying to make this
conversation work. Taehyung does nothing more than keeping his gaze long and
hard on Jeongguk, watching sternly even as the younger places their orders. The
silence that stretches while they’re waiting for the drinks to come is
suffocating. Jeongguk has so much to say, has so much to tell but none of them
comes out as words. He keeps on replaying these reasons in his head to why he
wants Taehyung to stay, but each of them is sealed with selfishness.
Frustrated, he takes it all out on the drink once it arrives. Jeongguk promised
to have just a glass of beer prior when he stepped in here. Yet here he is,
gulping one glass after another as soon as it is served since he has no idea
how to deal with this mental breakdown in his head.
Taehyung is there, just before him, but he feels like a world apart from him.
It hurts. Jeongguk downs his third glass.
Taehyung wears this permanent gloomy look on his face, and he probably has it
because of Jeongguk. Because Jeongguk is such a jerk who can’t move on. It
hurts. He swallows the fourth glass in one go.
Taehyung is such a sweetheart, and a beauty, that Jeongguk won’t be able to
find in someone else because he’s no longer his. It hurts. It will continue to
hurt for quite some time. Jeongguk drowns the raging pain with the fifth glass.
Taehyung—
“Why are you doing this, Jeongguk? Why are you doing all this to yourself?”
Maybe Taehyung’s speaking, maybe he’s not, maybe Jeongguk’s just making up his
voice in his mind. Yet he cares no longer. Even if Taehyung gives him all
slicing glasses and torturing thorns, he’ll take it. Jeongguk will take
everything, just to buy another minute.
“I can’t stay sober, Tae,” he can’t even hear his own voice through the slur
and the hoarse. “If I do, I’ll remember this is gonna be the last time I’ll see
you. I can’t deal with that. I don’t know how I should deal with that.”
Something’s crawling up his throat and he begins to taste the bile, inhaling
quickly to stop himself for throwing up. He can’t stop here. He can’t. Down
goes another glass.
“Puppy told me you all gonna move into a new house, living as a family again. I
know I should be happy for that, because after all this time, you deserve it
the most. But I don’t know why the thought of you leaving far away hurts me so
much.”
Another glass in and Jeongguk squints hard to see Taehyung, starting to see
double of him. That’s great. That’s better. Now he gets a lot more of Taehyung.
He’s pretty much sure his heavy head is making him crazy, but whatever. He
keeps on slurring.
“I don’t know what to do with myself, baby. I woke up every morning, felt like
I never even slept before, went to school, avoided Jimin as much as I can
because I didn’t want to remember you but still, all I do is remembering.”
And he hates himself for it. Hates himself so much because he can’t forget. His
brain forces him to forget, yet his heart disagrees so hard. He hates how he no
longer has control even on his own body.
“I visited my mom at the hospital and I heard how the doctors said her
condition is worsening. Sometimes I want to hate you, sometimes I don’t, and
then I remember what had my father done to you, what had I done to you and I
just—I have so much guilt in my heart I can’t even breathe, Tae.”
And now he’s not the only one making sound. Taehyung has started to respond
too, sniffling quietly, hiding his face down to his lap.
Is he crying?
Yes, he is. Jeongguk makes him to.
Because that’s all he ever does.
Jeongguk hates himself a bit more. Drinks and hiccups.
“You don’t know how much I want you to stay. You don’t know how bad…how bad I
want you to forgive my dad and just move on with your life, together with me
but—but how can you forgive my dad? How can you do that? How can any human do
that?” He questions devastatingly, sweats begins to mix with tears now when he
realizes he’s crying too. Everything is messed up. Every part of him is
hurting. He still can’t do anything about it.
He still can’t make a single thing right.
Still can’t make Taehyung come back to him.
Still losing him.
“How did we end up like this, baby?” He whispers and Taehyung stops sniffling.
He’s sobbing now, shoulders shaking so much Jeongguk wants to rush over and hug
him tight.
They’re making a scene in this bar but Jeongguk has no energy to be
embarrassed.
The world around him is nothing. Taehyung is everything.
And he still can’t have him. Still doesn’t deserve him.
“I love you so much, you know. You know?” He hands his heart out in the open,
there on the table in between them, all bleeding and wounded for Taehyung. With
the sobs, the whimpers, the pain, the love. All for Taehyung. “I tried to
recall if I ever loved someone as much as I love you before this, only to
realize I terribly had never. Not even once. You’re the first one, Taehyung.
This is cliché and corny and possibly the worst thing you’ll ever hear but I
love you. I do. I do. I’ve loved your face ever since I saw you in the club.
I’ve loved you all along we pretended to be boyfriends. I’ve loved you while we
tried to be friends. I loved you with all of my heart in those beautiful times
we were together.”
Taehyung looks like he can no longer breathe, frantic hands repeatedly trying
to dry his cheeks. But nothing stops. Nothing ever listens to him anymore,
including the tears.
Jeongguk understands it so well. He’s no better after all. Face covered with
fat tears, nose red, heart even redder and messier.
“Even when—” he hiccups through the whimpering, losing the ability to talk yet
still wants to continue. “Even when we’re not together, I still love you. I
love you when I can’t go to sleep. I love you when I’m missing you and dying to
see you. I love you in every fucking moment and I don’t think—I don’t think
I’ll ever stop.”
Taehyung shakes his head hard, voice pleading. “Jeongguk…please…stop talking.”
“No, baby. You need to hear this. You need to know this,” he smiles instead,
numb to the pain.
“Remember when you told me you liked me and you won’t expect me to return your
feeling? You just told me because I deserved to know your feeling? That’s what
I’m doing now too,” he stubbornly talking, gentle but desperate.
“It doesn’t matter if you’ll go away, it doesn’t matter if I’ll never know
where you’d go, I still think…” He searches Taehyung’s face, eyes travelling
everywhere from his teary gaze down to his nose, to his lips that Jeongguk
yearns for so much, to his baby rosy cheeks, to every beautiful piece of
Taehyung and he knows the answer.
Finally, he’s found the answer.
To why he can’t sleep, to why he can’t forget, to why a life without Taehyung
doesn’t make sense to him.
Jeongguk smiles again and tells him, words the most honest as he can be all his
life.
“I think…I think I’m gonna love you for a long time, Taehyung.”
It sounds impossible, but it’s true.
He’s only seventeen. Taehyung’s only nineteen. They have the whole life ahead
of them and reality has proved countless times to them how nothing lasts
forever. Possibly even their feelings.
Yet when it comes to Taehyung, it’s always something that he can’t fully figure
out. It’s always simple and complicated in one same line.
One thing is for sure, Jeongguk will carry this love for Taehyung for quite a
long, long moment.
Taehyung opens and closes his mouth, wanting to say something but ends up
voicing nothing. His hands are curled and uncurled a few times, as if he’s
contemplating between to reach out or not for Jeongguk. Yet before he can make
any move, Jeongguk’s phone blaring around them, halting the moment.
Jeongguk doesn’t check the ID, simply fishes it out and swipes to answer while
he’s clearing his throat to chase away the hoarseness that the tears brought.
“Hello? Yeah, it’s me.”
One time his heart is bleeding for Taehyung. Another time his heart is bleeding
for his mom.
There’s no such thing as easy in Jeongguk’s life.
“I’ll be there,” Jeongguk jumps out of the seat, shutting the call and
trembling with his whole body that Taehyung becomes so concerned in a second.
He stands up as well, frowning upon the younger. “What? What happened?
Jeongguk-ah?”
He wipes messily at his face with both of his sleeves as white takes over his
tear-striked face, turning him pale in an instant.
“I need to go. My mom—” Jeongguk’s already half way out of the booth. “My mom.
She’s moved to ICU. I need to get to her.”
===============================================================================
 
“Mom! Mom!” Taehyung tries hard to catch up with Jeongguk’s broad steps all the
way he’s running to the Emergency department, eyes searching and mouth shouting
as if he hopes to see Mrs. Jeon anywhere here in the open instead of laying on
a bed.
A nurse behind the counter is the one greeting them and Jeongguk is a second
away from climbing over it to shake the information out of the poor lady if
it’s not Taehyung who stops him just in time, one hand firmly gripping by
Jeongguk’s right arm. The younger ignores him for the sake of speaking into the
nurse’s face. “Where—where’s she? Where’s my mom? What’s happening to her?
Why—”
“Mr. Jeon?” One of the doors to the Operation Room parts open, revealing a tall
woman in a plastic blue uniform and Jeongguk immediately recognizes her as one
of his mother’s surgeons.
“Dr. Kang!” He dashes over to her, eyes focusing on the doors she just walked
out through instead of the real person before him. The urge to sob is coming
back again the longer he has no clue what’s happening. “Doc, what happened?
Please tell me—”
“Calm down, Mr. Jeon. Dr. Oh is attending to her now. She fainted out of a
sudden just now, we’re gonna find the root cause first. Okay?” The lady reminds
him with controlled calmness, dropping a pat to his shoulder yet nothing about
the tightness in her face helps him to settle.
“Is she gonna be okay?” His voice small, growing weak on every inch of his
body.
“I wish I could say so but…,” Jeongguk hates how she’s dreading her response.
“At this stage of her sickness, without a donor that can help her proceed with
the transplant, we can’t really do anything. Her body is immuned to all the
medicines already. I just…”
Taehyung stiffens, his own guilt crashing into him like a gigantic truck
instead of words spoken by the doctor. He doesn’t dare to check how Jeongguk
is.
Dr. Kang sighs, heavy and painful to the ears. “I am sorry. But I advise you to
be ready for anything, Jeongguk.”
The youngest chuckles, mirthless and bitter.
“You’re asking me to be ready for her to die.”
It’s a statement, not a question, and Taehyung snaps his eyes close. He can’t
do this. He can’t see Jeongguk like this.
“I am very sorry. We promise you we’ll try our best to save her till the last
time,” Dr. Kang offers her comfort one more time before she plants a pitiful
look upon Jeongguk and a worried glance to Taehyung who doesn’t know how to
handle this situation at all.
He thinks he’s cruel to be here, yet he can’t just leave the poor boy alone.
With nothing else to say, Dr. Kang excuses herself back into the Operation room
and Taehyung slowly turns to Jeongguk. For a moment he’s unmoving, doesn’t even
speak and simply standing there on the hall surrounded of people struggling
with their life, people like his mother who’s on the line in between life and
death.
When he does move, Jeongguk heads over to the nearest wall and faces his back
to it as a support for him to slide down until he hits the floor below and
limply sits there. Taehyung stops himself from crying. He shouldn’t be the one
breaking down.
“Jeongguk-ah…” He calls out as he gets to his knees in front of him, bending a
bit to see Jeongguk’s face but all he’s met with is darkness, the younger’s
expression numb and blank.
“It’s funny, you know,” even his voice is as empty as he is.
“I’ve pictured myself in this situation a thousand times before. I imagined
myself waiting for her outside here to win her battle. She’s been fighting it
for so long but in the end—” Jeongguk’s eyes shine with fresh tears and
Taehyung hates himself the most at the moment. “…in the end it’s not her who’ll
lose. It’s me.”
When Jeongguk raises his head to look at him, Taehyung wants to kill himself.
He would rather die than see Jeongguk suffering this much. He would rather die
than see Jeongguk facing this mountain of pain alone.
“I’m losing everyone,” Jeongguk tells him with a tear dropping down his cheek,
the only emotion he’s capable of feeling nowadays. Sadness and sadness and
sadness. “First, you. Now, her.”
This is how it feels now.
Dead end.
Black hole.
Nothing.
“Don’t take it that way, Jeongguk!” Taehyung breaks into a loud sob, defeated
spectacularly before he gathers Jeongguk into his arms, clutching tight on him
as if he could stop the younger from breaking into million pieces. “She’s still
alive, she’s still fighting in there. You need to believe that she’ll make it.
She’ll be okay again. You can’t—”
“But I’m tired, Taehyung…” Jeongguk pushes his face deeper into Taehyung’s
chest, soaking the comfort even when it’s temporary.
“I’m so tired. I’ve lost you. If I lose her too, who else would I have in my
life?” He mumbles as he closes his eyes, letting the tears wet his cheeks and
most part of Taehyung’s shirt he’s leaning on before he gradually feels his
body turn lighter, paper thin and fragile.
He pictures his mom. He pictures Taehyung. He pictures his life.
He’s just so tired of seeing nothing.
Jeongguk wants everything to stop hurting him.
“Jeongguk?” Taehyung calls him out to the feeling of his body sagging against
him. He tries once more and when he looks down, his eyes widen to the sight of
the boy turning so lifeless and pale, eyes shut. Taehyung loses his mind.
“Jeongguk! Oh my god, Jeongguk! Wake up! What—what’s wrong…someone, help!”
Everything is on whirlwind after that; him shouting for help until the nurses
come crowding them, him running after the bed Jeongguk is laid on into one of
the emergency rooms, him crying as he watches people fuss over Jeongguk’s
unmoving body and him refusing to leave Jeongguk’s side even when the nurses
plead him to wait outside.
A male doctor dressed in the basic long white coat storming into the room and
the nurses parting from the bed to make way for him. He takes only a look upon
Jeongguk and clicks his tongue, looking almost annoyed. His attention is back
on the clipboard he’s holding, not even bother to examine Jeongguk any further.
Now Taehyung is annoyed.
“Has he been drinking?” It takes Taehyung almost a minute to realize the
question is directed at him.
He quickly clears his throat and sniffles hideously. “Before he got here,
yeah.”
“He drank and he had been taking quite a lot of sleeping pills,” the doctor
concludes it like he’s got everything figured out on Jeongguk’s condition, why
he passed out the way he is now as if he’s been monitoring over his health not
only for today. And Taehyung guesses he is probably Jeongguk’s regular
therapist.
It makes it hard for Taehyung to believe this. How long has Jeongguk been this
destructive to himself? Is it since he left?
“What?” He asks again for confirmation.
“I’m afraid he might have overdosed. We gonna perform a quick check up on him,”
the doctor snaps shut his clipboard and turns to the nurses around to instruct
them with the procedures.
In the midst of people moving around, Taehyung can’t think of anything else
except Jeongguk. Jeongguk consuming pills to help him sleep. Jeongguk drinking
to numb his pain. Jeongguk torturing himself the way he shouldn’t.
He cries out again and steps closer to the bed, bending until he can rest his
forehead against Jeongguk’s sweaty fringes.
“Jeongguk, honey, you can’t do this to yourself,” he whispers, tears after
tears dropping to Jeongguk’s face while Taehyung sobs into his skin, listening
to his low breathing. “How am I—how could I leave if you’re like this?”
He cries and he thinks and Taehyung decides, if he really gonna leave, he might
as well put them both out of the pain for once and all. His family is going to
accuse him of being stupid, his dad is going to dislike his choice. But they
can think however they want.
Yes, choosing this decision won’t change the fact that Taehyung still can’t
stay with Jeongguk. It won’t change the fact that he still can’t even hold
Jeongguk’s hand now or ever.
But he loves Jeongguk with a love that no one can understand.
So he’s doing this.
He’s doing this for Jeongguk and his mom.
“Honey, I’m not gonna let you lose your mom. You gonna live well with her after
this, okay?” Taehyung promises into his ear, and kisses Jeongguk there. Then he
moves to kiss his jaw, his chin, his nose, his cheeks, his forehead and one
last time on his chapped lips, short but fleeting.
The moment Taehyung pulls away, he no longer looks back. As soon as he steps
out of the emergency area, he dials on his phone and waits for the person on
the other line to pick up.
“Hello, dad? Can you come to Jeon Medical Center now?” He hisses, knowing well
his father will lose his shit just by a simple mention of the hospital. “I’m
fine, I promise. Just come, dad. I need you now.”
Mr. Kim is blabbering something into his ears yet he cares no more. The line is
shut, giving his father no choice but to come for him and Taehyung heads back
inside to the counter earlier. He asks the first nurse who glances at him.
“Excuse me, where’s Dr. Jeon’s office?”
===============================================================================
 
“Where the hell is it?!” The sound of something crushing after the yell is what
Seokjin hears first the moment he stops in front of the office door. The
situation is gravely right now; Mrs. Jeon is still in the operation room,
Jeongguk has passed out cold and the hospital director can barely contain
himself.
What Seokjin is about to break down upon the director is probably not the topic
he should be approaching now but he has no other time. He was brave enough to
do it, he might as be equally fearless in facing the consequences.
With a deep breath, Seokjin pushes himself inside. “Dr. Jeon?”
Papers and files and folders are everywhere, on the floor, scattering all over
the office table and Dr. Jeon’s book shelves seem a minute away from toppling
over. The director doesn’t give him a look, continuing with his frantic search
throughout the mess.
“Seokjin-ah, come help me. I can’t find it. I need that thing!”
The PA scans his surrounding warily. “What are you looking for, doc?”
“The list of donors from Canada registries! I think I put it somewhere here but
I can’t find it! I need to go through the list again! Maybe I can come across
anyone who will match my wife! I have to!”
Seokjin doesn’t move, only able to stare at Dr. Jeon with sad eyes. And after
throwing another file to the floor, the doctor finally glances up at him, face
drowned in desperation.
“Come on, Seokjin! Help me! We’re running out of time!”
“Dr. Jeon, I think you should stop,” he hesitates.
“What do you mean by that?” He regards him fiercely, breath coming out short as
Seokjin can see his patience running thin. “My wife is in critical stage right
now, should I give up just like that?!”
“No,” Seokjin spits through gritted teeth. “But we’ve gone through the Canada
list a week ago, remember? We found no matching donor. It’s—”
“No,” Dr. Jeon denies him just as stubbornly. “There must be someone who can
save her. There must be someone who’s willing! I have to try. I have to—”
“Jeongguk collapsed just now.”
That’s what succeeded in halting every movement from the man. Dr. Jeon turns
slow towards Seokjin.
“Excuse me?”
“He rushed over to see Mrs. Jeon but the doctor said he might be overdosed from
sleeping pills and drinking. He hasn’t been sleeping well lately,” Seokjin
informs and the doctor needs to blink for a few seconds to really digest what
he’s just said.
“I—” Dr. Jeon kicks everything that piles by his feet, finding the fastest way
to get to the door. “I need to see him.”
Yet just like the rest of his family, his whole body comes down to be unstable
too that just by a wrong step over a particularly thick folder, Dr. Jeon loses
his balance and topples straight to the floor.
“Doctor!” Seokjin jumps forward just in time to restrict the man by his arm. He
helps him sit on a couch nearby yet Dr. Jeon dismisses him with a push on his
hand, trying again to stand up. “Dr. Jeon, please, don’t force yourself like
this.”
He gives in, dropping his whole weight back into the couch but his eyes are
still searching, still in his well-rounded determination to find the way to
save everyone.
“Then tell me, Seokjin. What else should I do?” He asks after a moment, on the
verge of giving out his fight. The PA swallows down hard.
“I have something to tell you,” Seokjin forces himself to look him in the eyes.
“I…I was the one who ruined your entire plan.”
The air quietens down, yet Dr. Jeon says nothing. Seokjin thinks he probably
should elaborate so he continues again.
“I told Taehyung and Taerie about their comatose father on the day Taerie was
supposed to sign the consent. I let them meet their father while he still
hadn’t awake. And it was me who helped Mr. Kim discharged out of this hospital
before they planned to reveal it all to your wife and Jeongguk,” he studies the
doctor and doesn’t understand why he’s exceptionally calm. “It was very wrong
of you to trust me. I—I betrayed you but I can’t…can’t see you do those illegal
things on Taehyung and his siblings. I know you’re better than that, Dr. Jeon.”
Because it’s true. Behind his past, behind his callous and disconnected
exterior, lays a man who actually cares far more than he ever lets it show. Not
everyone can see it, not everyone can understand. Yet Seokjin knows it all.
He’s the only one who has heard and watched through Dr. Jeon’s heavy sighs, his
hidden breakdowns and those moments where he really wanted to give up but never
choose to do so because despite everything, this man loves his wife and son the
most.
It’s just the way he’s loving them is wrong. It’s just the way he’s handling
thing is wrong.
Seokjin has seen far more than just Dr. Jeon’s mistakes.
“You took me in when I was at the lowest point of my life. You gave me job and
treated me so nicely even when I was just an inexperience young man. You opened
all the chances that have changed my life so when you decided to do something
wrong, I—” Seokjin explains himself, why he had agreed to help him at first but
then changed his mind at the end of the road.
“I hope I could stop you, Dr. Jeon. Because as much as you don’t want to lose
your wife, that’s also how much Taehyung and his siblings don’t want to lose
their father.”
The doctor still doesn’t say anything, studying Seokjin’s face without any
words. Maybe he’s too shocked to even react.
“I’m sorry,” the PA says at last. “I understand if you don’t want to see me
anymore. I’ll quit—”
“I knew it was you, Seokjin-ah.”
Seokjin feels his whole body stiffen.
“You did?” He can only blink at him, watching as Dr. Jeon curves a small smile.
“I predicted. Because you’re the only person who know everything right from the
start,” Dr. Jeon sighs, the defeated kind of sigh. “Back on the night when
Taehyung showed up with his father at my house, I already could tell it was
you.”
“Then why didn’t you say anything to me?” Now it’s Seokjin who caught in
surprise.
“Because I know you were doing the right things. I understand you just tried to
stop me from doing everything illegally.”
Seokjin clenches his jaw. He can’t believe this. “Dr. Jeon…”
“If you can’t take it anymore, then don’t do it,” the man says quietly. “Stop
being with me, Seokjin. I’ll only ruin you.”
This is it. This is Dr. Jeon letting him go without even putting up any fight.
Seokjin isn’t sure to feel relief or sad.
“Would you forgive me?”
“Why would I forgive someone who didn’t do anything wrong?” Dr. Jeon manages to
smile. “I don’t blame you, Seokjin. It’s all me. I’m the one at fault. I failed
my wife, my son and Taehyung’s entire family.”
He admits himself at last, exhaling a breath that almost feels like he’s been
holding it for too long. Too prideful to let it out in open, yet here he is,
raw and all truth.
“It’s me who’s running out of ways to apologize,” he looks away but Seokjin
still catches a tear leaks out of his eye.
He doesn’t know what else to say, doesn’t know how to react to this weak side
of the uptight doctor. They sit there in silence for a moment until Dr. Jeon
wipes the back of his palm to his face and tugs his usual tight-lipped smile at
Seokjin.
“Can you go and check on Jeongguk? I need to be alone for a while.”
That doesn’t directly translate as good bye but Seokjin knows better. Offering
his own practiced, professional smile for the last time to his boss, he stands
up and gives him a bow.
“Take care of yourself, Dr. Jeon.”
With that, he walks out, keeping in mind that being the doctor’s PA is an
experience he would never forget in his entire life. There’s already someone
waiting outside of the door and Seokjin taps Taehyung on his shoulder, almost
like reassuring, before he leaves the boy alone.
Taehyung inhales a deep breath, bracing himself before he steps inside. He
doesn’t really surprise to see the messed out state of the room is, only
travelling his sight around to look for Dr. Jeon who already standing by the
floor-to-ceiling glass wall incasing his office. He’s staring far outside, a
picture of his little family in his hand as Taehyung isn’t sure if he even
aware of his presence behind him.
“The easiest way to apologize is to say sorry to me,” he goes straight to the
point, not all hiding that he’s heard every detail from Seokjin’s conversation
with the doctor before.
The other man peers over his shoulder, tear-streaking eyes widening on him.
“Why are you here?”
“Because I want you to apologize to me, and my dad.”
Dr. Jeon sniffles and it somehow puts Taehyung in a kind of uneasiness to see
this aloof man crying. He’s never seen him cry. This is probably the rarest
emotion on Dr. Jeon he’ll ever be revealed to. But then again, this kind of
moment would probably only come once in his life.
“Would you truly forgive me though?”
“For Jeongguk, I would.”
“For Jeongguk?”
Taehyung has nothing left for Jeongguk but his love.
“I’ll have a deal with you.”
===============================================================================
 
“Ugh,” Jeongguk croaks, feeling like shit in the process because an action as
simple as gulping his own saliva hurts a thousand hells. The first thing he
opens his eyes to is white. White is everywhere. His left. His right. Even the
sheet covering his body is white. Fuck the lamp up there for being so white.
“Where…where am I?”
He asks to no one, half denying somebody would want to be near him in this
whitest place but then, a voice answers him.
“In my hospital.”
Jeongguk blinks and snaps looking around, landing his eyes just on point upon a
man that looks eerily like his father. Jeongguk stares harder. Wait, that is
his father. Sitting right next to his hospital bed, wearing none of his white
coat except his standard office dress shirt.
Something must have been wrong. Jeongguk can’t recall a thing.
He scans his surrounding one more time and concludes the only rational reason
he’s here is probably because the alcohol he consumed before had finally
knocked him down. He remembers alcohol, but he can’t remember where he was
drinking it and with who. Jeongguk turns back to his father.
“How long have I been out?”
“12 hours.”
“Shit, that’s half a day…”
“That’s what you got when you were reckless enough to drink and take pills. We
even had to clean your blood.”
And slowly reality comes crushing down on him. His insomnia. The pills. The
alcohol. The non-stop tortures he inflicted on himself just to forget Taehyung.
Taehyung has left him. He went to catch a glimpse of him at Puppy’s
kindergarten. They went for a drink, drinks. And then his mother.
“Mom—”
He almost stumbles down the bed in his struggle to wrestle the cover off of him
and sit up but luckily Dr. Jeon is faster in steadying him, gently pushing
Jeongguk back down to the pillow.
“Calm down, she’s fine now.”
“Fine?”
Nothing is fine about this. He still doesn’t know what’s happening to his
mother. He still doesn’t know what’s happening to Taehyung. Did he follow him
to the hospital before?
Dr. Jeon re-adjusts the sheet over Jeongguk’s body, sighing. “She’s done with
the transplant. She’s stable so far.”
Jeongguk can’t believe his father chooses to lie at him in the moment where his
brain can’t function well enough.
“But…how…” He doesn’t even know how to speak at this point.
“She got a donor on the last minute,” his father informs him calmly.
“Who?”
Dr. Jeon doesn’t say a word, keeps on staring at him and from the sadness
reflecting through his eyes, Jeongguk can tell—
“Did you force Tae on this? Where is he? I fucking—”
He fights one more time to get out of the bed and again, Dr. Jeon silences him
with his quiet voice.
“I forced no one, Jeongguk.”
The son squints hard upon the father, feeling like punching him in the face
because how could he? How can he let Taehyung be the donor and act as if
everything is settled now? And what even made Taehyung to agree out of the blue
moon?
“He came to see me and agreed to become your mom’s donor with Mr. Kim’s
consent,” Dr. Jeon at last relieves him of the questions bombarding in his
head. Jeongguk can’t believe it is as simple as that. It can’t be that easy.
“Why would he do that? Why so suddenly—”
“In return of the deal, you need to live well with your mom,” Dr. Jeon reaches
out for his hand, gripping it firm in his warm and strong palm. “No more of the
sleeping pills, no more overworking yourself with the dance, no more drinking.
All Taehyung wanted was for you to live well now that your mother’s alive.”
He swallows, looking away. Now he remembers. Memories of his drunken words
coming slowly in his head. The way he’s cried in front of Taehyung, broke down
and lost himself before him. He is so stupid.
Now Taehyung will think he’s the weakest ass ever.
“So where’s he?” He asks, voice barely above a whisper because he’s not sure if
he wants to find out the answer.
“He’s resting. I’ve transferred him to a better hospital. Donor needs as much
time as patient to recover.”
Jeongguk stares back at his father, pleading.
“Can’t you tell me where it is?”
Dr. Jeon shakes his head, squeezing his hand once like a reassurance.
“If he’s strong enough to leave you while loving you so much, then you should
be able to do the same, son. Live well while letting him go.”
Jeongguk chuckles, he’s too tired to cry.
“That’s it? Just like that?”
“I apologized to him and his family. He saved your mother so now, you need to
do your part. Rest and go on with your life,” Dr. Jeon smiles back at him.
“That’s all Taehyung asked for.”
It’s been a long time since he last saw his father smiled directly at him. Yet
when he is now, it’s the kind of smile that is finally genuine. Finally
relieved. Finally at peace.
===============================================================================
 
“Hyung.”
“Yes?”
“What is this?”
“This is a key.”
“Pfh, as if it couldn’t be more obvious,” Namjoon jiggles the silver metal key
in his hand, already chained with an animal suspiciously looks like an alpaca.
“No, I’m asking, what this actually is?”
“Pfh, if you’re smart enough, you gonna use the key to unlock the door and find
out yourself,” his fiancé interjects back and Namjoon can only scrunch his
nose, bringing the key to its key hole on the door of this building where
Seokjin has brought him to.
He didn’t explain much before when they were in the car on the way here. Only
said it’s important for him to show Namjoon this place and continued to hand
him the key.
“You and your mysterious ass,” Namjoon comments while listening to the key
clicking softly and the door starts to part open.
“Oh you love this ass,” Seokjin sounds almost too proud to announce it but the
younger fiancé ignores it for the sake of entering the unknown building and
scanning around.
“Wow,” is his first impression. “It’s…empty.”
“Correct,” Seokjin beams.
“Which means?” Namjoon turns raising his eyebrow as he studies Seokjin
calculatively.
“Which means I can fully use this space to decorate and start my own brand of
café.”
Namjoon nods and then widens his eyes.
“You—” He fully turns to face the man. “You really?!”
Seokjin grins his handsome smile, shrugging. “I really.”
“Seokjin hyung!” Namjoon leaps straight into his arms, causing Seokjin to
hastily steady him against his chest while laughing. “You wanna open a café?
You wanna start your own business?”
“That’s pretty much the idea.”
Namjoon squeals, a little too loud beside Seokjin’s ear. “Hyung, that’s your
old time dream! To own a café!”
“You’re never too old to achieve your dream, Joonie,” the elder reminds him,
squeezing Namjoon briefly around his waist before he steps back. “That’s
why…you should check upstairs.”
“We have an upstairs?” Namjoon starts to waddle around, excitement rolling out
of him like a kid.
“Please, I bought this whole double-storey outlet okay?” Seokjin pouts
petulantly, arms folded across his chest as if he’s defensive on the idea that
Namjoon thought he couldn’t afford to buy the whole place.
“But you just got fired! You shouldn’t spend your money so recklessly!”
“Excuse you, I didn’t get fired. I quit, willingly. And one of the reasons is
to marry your ass. Now be grateful.”
Namjoon giggles, eyes twinkling from the force of his smile. “I am thankful. I
love you so much, hyung!”
“Not so much. At least not until you see upstairs.”
“What’s up there?” He points to the roof above them.
“Something that probably would make you love me the most.”
“I already am,” Namjoon can’t stand the cheesiness, running over to peck
Seokjin on the lips and pull him to walk together. “But let’s go!”
They easily spot the spiral stairs leading to the first floor and Namjoon skips
into the area expecting something different from the ground floor but…nothing
but clean walls greeting them.
“It’s…another empty space,” he concludes, grinning widely because that’s better
than showing his disappointment. Right? Seokjin chuckles, giving his nose an
affectionate push as he tilts his head to the left. “Check the room, silly.”
Namjoon huffs. He swears if his fiancé gonna prank him with another empty room,
then he’s so going to—
“What—how—hyung!” Namjoon bawls by the door, not even fully entering it yet he
already feels waves of surprises hitting him like the hard thunderstorm. His
eyes wide on everything, every inch of the room before he spins around to
Seokjin, mouth open big. “Hyung, this is insane!”
Seokjin replies a meek nod, eyeing him coyly. Namjoon hisses and goes over to
grab his fiancé by his collar, bunching the material in his fists until he can
pull Seokjin an inch away from his own face.
“Kim Seokjin, what is this all about?” He breathes into his face while Seokjin
rolls his pretty eyes. “Well, as you can see they’re equipment.”
“Equipment for what?!”
“To write song, to compose song, to record song…I don’t know, shits to do music
I guess.”
Namjoon looks back again, still can’t believe his eyes he’s seeing the complete
set of speakers, stereo, computer, keyboard and other electronic devices needed
to make a perfect music studio. His sight flies to the wall around and his eyes
water, noticing this room has even been soundproofed. This will make a perfect
workstation. His fucking perfect workstation.
“Hyung, you bought all this…for…for—”
“For you. Yes, I bought them all for you, darling,” Seokjin finishes for him,
voice turning gentle and large, comforting hands coming up to engulf him around
his back. He’s so in love with him.
“I can’t believe you. But this—” Namjoon blinks, trying not to cry even when he
knows he’s already failing. “This is all too much.”
“It can never be too much when it comes to you, Namjoon-ah. You deserve
everything,” Seokjin kisses him slowly and Namjoon has too little hands to grab
him closer, to push on him harder and just to remind Seokjin that he is his.
His and his alone. He whines a bit when Seokjin pulls back. “And when I’m
starting my dream, I would love for you to do the same. I know how much you
wanna do music, darling.”
“I—I love you the most, hyung. I just—” Namjoon lets go of his collar for the
sake of burying his hands in Seokjin’s hair and grabs him forward, pulling him
into his body. He speaks straight into his mouth. “God, thank you. Thank you so
much, I love you.”
“I love you too,” Seokjin smiles, kissing the corner of his mouth. “This is
gonna be our life after we get married.”
Namjoon can’t imagine being happier than this. “I love it already.”
“I have one more thing for you.”
“You have more? What else could top all of this extravagance?” He questions
while waving his hand around to indicate all the surprises.
“This,” Seokjin answers while pulling out a glossy white paper from his coat,
passing it to Namjoon.
“It’s our wedding invitation card!” The younger fiancé cheers, flipping the
card back and forth, reading the cursive words and admiring the minimalized yet
pretty design. “You got it customized already?”
“Yeah, and guess who will be our first guests in the list?”
“Who?” Namjoon asks back to which Seokjin hisses. “I asked you to guess!”
“I don’t know! I’m fucking slow right now, okay? All I can think about is to
get my hands dirty with these cool stuffs, how many songs I can compose from
them and if I can fuck you on every surface—”
“That’s wild.”
“Yeah, but who? Who will be the first guests?”
Seokjin stops for a while, watching as Namjoon sniffs the card, grinning widely
once he discovers it is actually scented.
“My parents,” Namjoon almost crumples the paper with his own hands. “And your
parents, of course.”
“Your—your parents?” He slowly looks up to Seokjin, voice wondering. “They
agreed to come to our wedding? They…agreed with us?”
Seokjin is fond all over again, soft and mushy for Namjoon and heart full of
love for him.
“Yes,” He wipes a thumb over Namjoon’s cheek when a tear manages to leak out.
“I told them everything and it’s either they have us or they don’t have me at
all. No in between.”
Namjoon whimpers, ruining his image of all tattoos and bad boy when he throws
his arms around Seokjin and crushes into him, holding him tight while he cries
into his chest.
“Hyung…did they really agree?”
Seokjin hugs him harder, never wants to let go. “They did, sweetheart. All you
gotta do now is to meet them on our wedding day.”
“Fuck, I’m gonna shit my pants.”
“And I’ll still love you.”
They laugh together, the image is ugly but funny.
“Hyung, we gonna get married,” Namjoon states after a while, snuggling his face
into Seokjin’s neck.
“Yeah, we are,” Seokjin kisses the top of his silver hair. Namjoon should
probably dye it a shade darker for their wedding. He will look really gorgeous.
“I can’t wait to be yours. Officially, on paper and rings and all,” Namjoon
concludes, voicing out what Seokjin has been trying to say since the day he
decided he can’t live without the dimpled boy.
“Me too,” he responds, plain and simple, but sincere.
===============================================================================
 
“Hey,” Jimin smiles at him through the glass first thing first when he enters
the studio.
“Hey,” he greets back, returning the smile while he corners to dump his bag and
stuff down to the floor nearby the stereo.
“Nice flowers you got there,” the elder nods to the bouquet he bought on the
way to the practice just now.
“Thanks, it’s for my mom. Gonna visit her after this,” he smiles again, finding
it easier to do so sincerely without his heart aches for any pretenses.
“That’s great. How’s she nowadays?”
Jeongguk gets into position in front of the long mirror, stretching his arms
high over his head.
“Recovering. We’re still monitoring if any symptoms would come back. But as far
as now, she’s good.”
Jimin nods, copying his move as Jeongguk stretches his waist and lower body
part.
“How about you then?”
“Me?”
“Are you doing okay?”
Jeongguk halts midway trying to reach the tip of his fingers to the tip of his
toes. He shrugs, smiling again.
“Yeah, I’m turning eighteen. My life goes on.”
“That’s fabulous,” Jimin curves his smile that can grow so big his eyes
crinkle. “So I guess it’s time to give you this.”
“What’s that?” Jeongguk watches as the elder walks over to his sports bag and
unzips it to pull out a purple colored envelope.
“Something Taehyung left for you before he was truly out of Seoul,” he throws
it over to Jeongguk as the younger catches it with practiced ease. He eyes it
skeptically, doesn’t yet decide what to feel about this.
He never thought Taehyung would leave something else for him but now…
“I didn’t give you earlier because I thought you needed time,” Jimin reasons
the delay. After all it did take some time for Jeongguk to properly talk to him
again. This smiley, laid back Jeongguk is still a recent occurrence. “You
seem…stable now. Emotionally. I don’t want whatever that is to break you again
in case Tae decided to be sappy.”
“Is this the cliché part where I’ll need to cry over a love letter?” He holds
it up, smirking at Jimin.
The latter laughs, shrugging. “I’m not sure, I’ll leave it to you.”
“Baby! Have you seen my towel anywhere?” Just in time, Hoseok’s voice resonates
through the studio from where he should be in the other room, showering. Jimin
rolls his eyes while Jeongguk can only shake his head, watching as the elder
jumps back up to his feet.
“That dude has his junks all over the place lately,” he complains before
snatching the damn towel from Hoseok’s bag. “Hello, Jung Hoseok! I’m your
boyfriend, not your fucking maid!”
It causes Jeongguk to laugh harder all the while Jimin is making his way out to
the shower room. The paper is still in his hand yet he decides to throw it back
down together with his other stuff and turns back to concentrate on his
practice.
Of course his mind never strays far enough from being curious about the
content. His life is better nowadays. It doesn’t mean he has stopped thinking
about Taehyung. It doesn’t mean he has stopped missing him. No.
In fact he misses him a lot more.
But he’s better now, learning to cope with reality, learning to accept that
even though he can’t have everything he wants in his life, he’s still lucky
enough to be able to breathe and see his mother recovering well.
And that’s enough for him at this moment.
It is not until he’s already in the bus on the way to the hospital that
Jeongguk reaches for the envelope and looks for anything written outside.
None.
He flips it back and braces himself for whatever it is Taehyung wanted to tell
him through this. The paper is thin and a bit crumply when he pulls it out.
Jeongguk smiles upon the very first sentence.
 
100_Ways_to_Live_Well
   1. Drink a lot of water.
   1. Set up your alarm(s).
   1. Make your bed every morning.
 
Making a hundred list was their thing. First with the Perfect Boyfriend list.
Now, this.
Jeongguk goes through one by one life tip that Taehyung has written for him to
follow in hope he could live better.
Well, Taehyung had paid his promise.
Now Jeongguk is paying it from his side, little by little in every single day.
 
   1. Smoke only when you really need it.
   2. Make amend with your past.
 
Jeongguk’s breath catches. Taehyung always has that effect on him, even through
a paper.
 
   1. Remember that I love you. Until every last star in the galaxy dies, I
      love you.
- KTH
Chapter End Notes
     :)))))
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     And I just created this curious cat thingy herein case you are a shy
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     See you all in next chap! Oh god, we are SO CLOSE to the ending! My
     favorite part!!!
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