Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/3308093.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage, Rape/Non-Con
  Category:
      F/F, Multi, F/M, M/M, Other
  Fandom:
      Original_Work
  Relationship:
      Original_Female_Character/Original_Female_Character, Original_Female
      Character/Original_Male_Character
  Character:
      Original_Female_Character(s), Original_Trans_Character(s), Original
      Androgynous_Character, Original_Male_Character(s)
  Additional Tags:
      Incest, Parent/Child_Incest, Emotional/Psychological_Abuse, Physical
      Abuse, Dubious_Consent, Bondage, Mother_Complex, Age_Difference,
      Futanari, Spanking, Face-Fucking, Autoerotic_Asphyxiation, Mommy_Kink,
      Loss_of_Virginity, Anal_Sex, Mutual_Masturbation, Explicit_Sexual
      Content, Female_Character_With_A_Penis, Female_Characters_of_Color, Loss
      of_Innocence, Sister/Sister_Incest, Futanari_on_female, Futanari_On
      Futanari, Trans_Male_Character, Pansexual_Character, Bisexual_Male
      Character, Androgyny, Implied/Referenced_Alcohol_Abuse/Alcoholism, Past
      Child_Abuse, Child_Abuse, Brother/Sister_Incest, Past_Rape/Non-con,
      Brother/Brother_Incest, Drug_Abuse, Drug_Use, a_lot_of_this_shit_is
      fucked, i_am_so_sorry_for_this_sin, Genderfluid_Character, Porn_With
      Plot, Porn_with_Feelings, theres_a_lot_of_emotional_moments_tbh, Suicide
      mention, Past_Sexual_Abuse, Past_Violence, Sexual_Violence, Violence,
      Past_Suicide_Attempt, Past_Incest, Past_Molestation, theres_a_lot_of
      triggers_in_here_be_warned, Verbal_Abuse, Verbal_Humiliation, Trans
      Female_on_Trans_Male, Trans_Male_on_Trans_Male, there's_a_lot_of_feelings
      in_this, you_might_hate_a_few_characters, Heavy_Angst, Teen_Angst, Fluff
      and_Angst, Angst_and_Porn
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-02-20 Updated: 2017-05-16 Chapters: 7/? Words: 15614
****** Mommy Loves Me ******
by andieisawesome2, Miss17Understood
Summary
     My name is Angel and I’m 16 years old. I'm a good girl and my mommy
     loves me. So she hits me.
     1/29/16: Currently working on character developments. Stay tuned!
Notes
     First work here yay! But on a side note, I've had this in my mind for
     a while but didn't know which fandom I should write it for so I
     decided to go with an original work. Enjoy!
     Edit as of 3/2/15: I'm currently working on chapter 2 and it'll be up
     soon!
     Edit as of 11/2/16: Currently making slight plot changes here and
     there, chapter 6 should be finished soon.
***** I Love Mommy *****
Chapter Summary
     A glimpse into a day in the life of Angel Madison-Harris.
        My name is Angel and I’m currently 16 years old. I’m short, chubby,
with medium brown skin and long black pigtails held in place with pink ribbons.
I normally wear mid-thigh length skirts, knee- highs, and long sleeve blouses
both to school and around the house because well, I think I look cute in them
even though my mother calls me a whore for wearing what I want. I was a good
girl. I rarely gave my mother any trouble, or at least I thought I didn't.
There were few things my mom gave me grief about. My weight, my grades, the way
I dress, my “attitude”. Simple things. I would pretend like they didn't bother
me when they really did. After my mom would be done yelling at me I would
solemnly go back up to my room and shut the door. I hated being yelled at by my
mom, it made me upset with myself and make me feel like pure shit. I used to
cut into the palms of my hands afterwards but that ended when she walked in on
me doing it once and yelled at me for it. Since I can’t cut anymore I’ve
resorted to choking myself after my mother yells at me or says something that
hurts. I love choking myself, it makes me happy.
       It was just my mom and I living together in the house since she divorced
my dad and let him take my twin brother, Angelo with him when we were around
13. You’d think we’d be close right? Wrong. We were never close. I’ve always
stayed in my room by myself ever since I can remember. She never really paid
attention to me, but when she did it was always for “being a shitty daughter”,
to quote my mother. Whenever my mom would yell at me, in the back of my mind
I’d be satisfied with the attention she’d give me, even if it was the wrong
kind of attention. I didn't care if it was the wrong kind of attention or not,
I loved it. It turned me on to feel shitty about myself, and turned me on
further to choke myself after being yelled at. I didn't think it was weird at
first that I wanted to be yelled at by my mother. I only found it strange when
I was turned on by the thought of my mother beating me. My mother never hugged
me or anything as a kid, even now she still doesn't. I just want her to touch
me to make me feel good, that’s all I want.
      My mother is taller than me by a long shot, standing at around 6'4". Her
figure is something that most of the women and wives in the neighbor hood rave
over while their husbands lust over it. She took track in her high school years
leaving her with the legs you would imagine a runner of her stature to have.
Her breasts are more of the things of fantasy, still being able to obey the
laws of gravity and best viewed during the summer in a swimsuit... My mother
has long black hair like mine, the only difference being that my mother
constantly kept her hair curled so it bounced whenever she took a step. My
mother is mixed with Swedish and black leaving her pretty damn light skinned,
almost mistaken for white often times as well. She also has green eyes and
freckles dotting her face right underneath her eyes, giving her an almost
harmless look to her. However, don't let that fool you. She has the power of a
weightlifter and hits like a freight train at full speed that's going down a
mountain. As far as I know my mother has two siblings. Giovanna and Joseph.
Giovanna is older than my mother by 5 years and Joseph is younger than my
mother by 6 years. My mom doesn't talk about Giovanna much but she does tell me
I look a lot like her. Which doesn't seem to be a good thing...
      I was sitting on the couch in the living room a few days ago after
getting home from school, still in my school outfit when my mom came home from
work. It was already 6 and I knew I was going to be in trouble for not having
my homework done yet, but I didn't care. 
     “Angel! Why the fuck are you sitting on your fat ass doing nothing instead
of doing your homework?!” My mother yelled as she angrily slammed the door
behind herself. She stomped towards the couch where I was sitting, and texting
some of my friends. She immediately grabbed me by my pigtails, making me stand
up to face her. 
     “Why aren't you sitting at that living room table doing your homework you
pig?” She was so close I could feel her breath on my ear, making me shudder. 
I could see the pure rage built up in my mother’s eyes and I loved it. It
turned me on not knowing what punishment my mother could inflict on me now. I
was hoping she would pin me to the wall and pull down my skirt, spanking me
with her bare hands like she did last week.
      “I’m sorry mom, I really am I’ll do my homework right now if you let me
go. Please let me go…” I squirm and try to pull away only making her twist my
pigtails in her hands, pulling my hair harder. I let out a moan of both pain
and pleasure as she tugs on my pigtails. 
     “Damn right you’ll do your homework right now or else your ass will have
hell to pay if I get my hands on you now!” My mother tosses me into one of the
nearby walls harder than usual and I start crying from the initial impact of my
head hitting the wall’s molding first, rather than my back.
      Normally I’d end up with just a knot on the back of my head but this
time, there was blood. Not much that would me panic, but it was enough to make
my mother panic. A worried look flashed over my mother’s face, but only for a
moment before turning into panic. This wasn’t the first time I’ve hit my head
because of my mother, it was the 3rd time it happened. She quickly ran to the
bathroom, getting the gauze and aspirin among other things. The emotional
adrenaline was starting to wear off and the pain I felt in the back of my head
was enough make me want to throw myself off of a cliff in hopes of ending the
unbearable throbbing in the back of my skull. Knowing I couldn't handle pain
like this from the last two times this has happened, I knew I was probably
going to pass out soon. I tried to fight my body’s will to shut down in order
to prevent me from going into shock, but I failed. The last thing I heard
before I passed out was my mother’s panicked muttering.
***** Touch Me *****
Chapter by andieisawesome2
Chapter Summary
     Angel encounters her mother in the bathroom after the incident. Will
     she get the affection from her mother she's been wanting for so long?
     Or will there be something more?
Chapter Notes
     10 kudos and over 1000 views later I finally put up the 2nd chapter!
     I'm honestly surprised I got this many kudos and views already so I'd
     like to thank everybody who read this, you guys are awesome!
         I wake up a few hours later in my mother’s bed, considering it was on
the first floor unlike my room which was on the second floor. I’m stripped down
to the white bra and panties I was wearing underneath my school outfit from
earlier today. I sit up slowly in the large, but dark room and looked around
for my mother. The only light that was in the room is a small sliver of yellow
emanating from the partially closed bathroom door. I’m curious what my mother
is doing so I get up and tip-toe quietly to the door, peeking in just enough so
that she can’t see me but I can see what she’s doing. My mother is sitting on
the edge of the bathtub in nothing but a black bra with her panties on the
floor and something between her legs I’ve never seen before. A cock. It looks
to be about 9 inches in length and around 7 inches around with a fat, pink head
on it accompanied by veins all along the length as well as large, round balls
underneath her cock. I tilt my head further into the crack of the door to see
more of the bathroom, but I slip and fall face first onto the tile floor. I
slowly look up to see my mother towering over me with a disapproving look on
her face.
       “I thought I taught you better than to intrude on other people’s
privacy, but I guess you just didn’t learn.” My mind screams to scramble and
get up from the floor, escaping from the bathroom but I lay there on the floor
face down with my ass in the air. I think to myself this is the perfect time
for her to fuck me, to touch me, to do anything to me. I just need her to touch
me. I need her.
     “M-mommy, I’m sorry for interrupting you. I’ll leave now and go to my
room.” I look up at her with puppy dog eyes from behind my glasses as I get up
and head to the bathroom door. Just before I can leave the bathroom, my mother
grabs me by the waist and presses herself against me. I feel her thick cock
pressed against my ass, making me feel it throb. My mother brings her face to
my ear, her slow and heavy breathing sending shivers through my body. I shift
in her grip as I feel my cunt starting to get wet.
     “You’re not leaving until you’re properly punished, Angel.” She pulls away
from me for a few seconds, only to push the door closed and slam me against it.
She pushes her cock between my thighs and against my wetting cunt. She slowly
thrusts, the tip of her cock continually rubbing against my clit and making me
close my thighs tighter together.
     “You should know better than to walk in on somebody when they’re in the
bathroom, Angel. How would you feel if I walked in on you fingering yourself?
That’s right, I’ve seen you do it you fucking whore.” She gathers my twin tails
in one of her hands and pulls on them gently. I feel her cock twitch and throb
against my clit and I moan softly as she gropes and rubs my breasts through my
bra.
     “Mommy, I-I’m sorry I walked in on you, I promise never to do it again.”I
shift my hips as my mother thrusts faster between my thighs and rubbing against
my clit, making me almost dripping wet. I feel her member twitch a few times
before she cums on the door between my thighs.
     “You better not walk in on me again or I will rip that pretty little ass
of yours wide open.”She grinds her softening cock against my wet panties,
making me whine. I’m disappointed that she came so fast, I wanted more. I look
behind me to see my mother pulling out from between my thighs and stuffing her
half-hard cock back in her black panties.
     “Now get your fat ass out of here before I pound into you so hard you
won’t be able to walk for a week.” My mother opens the bathroom door and pushes
me out of it as fast as I can, making me trip and land on my face on the cool
carpet of her dark bedroom. I get up from the floor and sit on the edge of my
mother’s bed, holding one of her pillows close to me and inhaling her sweet
scent of lavender and strawberries. I feel myself start to sob as I get the
familiar feeling of yearning in my stomach. I yearn for my mother to comfort me
by kissing my lips softly while cupping my face gently and telling me that
everything is going to be alright. I just want my mother to love me the way a
mother should. My sobs get louder the more I think of my mother actually loving
me sweetly, but I know better than to stick around in her room too much longer
so I leave.
      I make my way back to my bedroom with my mother’s pillow in tow, still
sobbing in want. I close the bedroom door behind me, throwing the pillow onto
my bed and searching through my dresser for some pajamas to put on. I find a
black t-shirt to put on to go with some gold and black basketball shorts and I
sit on my bed with my laptop. I get a skype notification from my internet
friend Tré asking me if I’m home from school yet.
Tré the based nerd: yo angel you home from school yet? cause I got something to
ask you bro
big ang the based qween: yeah, I’ve been home for a while tbh because I got
yelled at by my mom again… you know how that goes tré.
Tré the based nerd: dude are you okay? what did she do to you this time did she
hurt you?
big ang the based qween: tré its nothing alright it’s the same as always. She
yells at me and kicks my ass that’s it.
Tré the based nerd: ang I know that’s not what happened come on tell me the
truth.
big ang the based qween: no
Tré the based nerd: come on ang, I just need to know if you’re okay or not
big ang the based qween: …fine okay I’ll tell you. My mom well…she kind
of…busted some of the skin on the back of my head open sort of X(
Tré the based nerd: I fucking knew she did something to you to hurt you again
big ang the based qween:I’m sorry dude I didn’t want to tell you this either
but, something else happened with me and my mom
big ang the based qween: she groped me in the bathroom
big ang the based qween:and fucked my thighs with her cock that I didn’t know
she had until today
big ang the based qween:I’m happy that she finally touched me in the way that I
wanted but
big ang the based qween: it was so wrong
big ang the based qween:but it felt so right
big ang the based qween: god I’m fucked up tré help me
Tré the based nerd: ang, I know you have a mommy kink and all but shit dude
you’re literally screwed
     I hear a loud banging at my bedroom door and I quickly check the clock to
see it’s already midnight, which is about an hour past the time I’m supposed to
be asleep. I quickly message Tré that my mother is at my door and that I have
to go before I turn off my laptop. I dive under the lavender colored covers of
my bed just as my mother walks in. I lay there and pretend I’m sleeping until I
hear something that peaks my curiosity. A drawer opening.
     “Where are her black panties with the pink bows on them? I could have
sworn they were in here… There they are!” I hear my mom rifle through the
drawer for a few minutes before stopping and closing the drawer. My mother
walks out of my room with a click of the door closing, leaving me in the
darkness to fall asleep.
***** The Weekend *****
Chapter by andieisawesome2
Chapter Summary
     Angel's mother, Angie is going away for a month but Angel wants to
     resolve the incident between the both of them before her mother
     leaves. Will Angel forgive her mother or will Angie do something
     unspeakable to Angel? Find out!
Chapter Notes
     It took forever to write this chapter because I didn't have to time
     to actually write it, but now it's finished! I hope its as good as
     the last 2 chapters went. Also, thanks for 49 kudos and over 3000
     views ^_^!
     EDITED AS OF 11/6/16
                I wake up at around 5 in the morning this Saturday to the sound
of my mother talking on the phone as she paces the hallway. It’s been at least
a month since the incident in the bathroom and the house has been peaceful in
that time considering my mother keeps avoiding me. You would think I'd be
avoiding her all this time but, no she's been avoiding me. I sit up in my bed
for a few minutes, listening to my mother rant over the phone to somebody. I
get up quietly and listen in on my mother’s conversation through the crack of
my bedroom door.
              “Jay, I know this is sudden but could you let Angel stay with you
for the weekend? I don’t want her to get lonely or anything while I’m in Japan
for the month.” There’s a pause and my mother huffs in frustration.
              “Look, my brother Joseph is busy for the month so he won't be
able to keep her. You know what Jay, I-I’ll call you later to talk about this.”
My mother hangs up her phone and leans against the wall across the hall from my
room. I hesitate before doing anything else and decide to just go back to bed
so I walk away from my bedroom door and close it. I look at my computer desk to
see my phone light up with my brother Angelo's picture on the screen. I go over
and pick it up, knowing he'll ask me what's wrong.
            “It’s about time you picked up! I’ve been waiting forever to talk
to you, I've been worried sick about you!” Angelo's voice is riddled with worry
as he prods at what's happened since the last time I've talked to him. 
           “So, what’s been happening with you and mom?” He asks cautiously,
knowing that her and I don't have the best relationship with each other. 
         “Well, not much has been happening I guess.” I shrug, crawling into my
bed and assuring Angelo that I'm alright before he finally hangs up.
           I quickly fall asleep only to be woken up at 7 by the mewing and
hissing of the feral cats that hang around my bedroom window. They continue to
meow before I finally get up out of bed and walk into the hallway to get away
from the noise. I get into the hallway and I hear a familiar thumping coming
from my mother’s room a whole floor below me. I start walking down the hallway
towards the staircase that leads down to my mother’s room and I freeze when I
hear a whole new sound. A grunt. I quickly but quietly go down the stairs only
to stop just inches from my mother’s bedroom door, hesitating.
          Behind my mother’s bedroom door all I can hear are thumps, groans,
moans, and grunts. I put my hand on the door handle and to my surprise, the
door opens slightly. I scramble for the hallway to the left of my mother’s room
and hide there as my mother pokes her head out from her doorway. I wait for a
few seconds before walking out of the hallway and going back to my mother’s
bedroom door and looking inside her room. What I see through the crack of the
door shocks me. I see my own mother sitting in her chair at her computer desk,
masturbating. In her left hand is her thick cock and in her other hand is a
pair of my panties, help up to her nose. I watch as she takes a deep breath,
sniffing my panties as she strokes her member a bit faster. I listen intently
as my mother’s grunts and cruses under her breath fills the air, accompanied
the slight slapping of her heavy balls against her thighs. I continue to watch
my mother pump her cock, letting my own hands wander into my panties and
fingering myself. Just as my mother is about to cum, I make the mistake of
letting a moan slip through my lips, causing my mother turn around in her chair
and walk to the door. I try to make a break for it, only to be caught within my
mother’s grasp on the back of my t-shirt.
         “Oh, naughty little Angel. I thought what happened yesterday would
have taught you not to interrupt your mother’s personal time, but it seems your
dumb-ass just can’t learn.” She tries to pull me into her room and I let myself
be pulled into her room. My mother manages to quickly shut the door and pin me
against it, making me face her.
       “Mommy, I didn’t mean to intrude but I was curious is all… I was just
wondering what all the noise was up here when I woke up.” I look up at her
innocently and I see a flicker of guilt in my mother’s eyes, showing me she’s
still got rational thoughts left. I can tell she decides against doing what she
was originally going to do to me as she lets go of the front of my t-shirt.
       “You know what Angel, I’m going to let you do but don’t you fucking
interrupt me while I have my personal time. Now get out of my sight before I do
something I regret.” She goes back and sits down in her computer chair as I
quietly leave her room.
          I go back up to my room, and sit on my bed only to think about the
sights I was from the crack of my mother’s bedroom door. I can feel myself
getting wet again as I think of my mother slowly pushing me down to my knees,
still pinned between her and the bedroom door. My hands wander down into my
panties and I start fingering myself slowly, imagining her shoving her member
down my throat and fucking it roughly. After a few minutes of fingering myself,
I figure it’s time to put the dildo I bought to good use. I look in my bedside
table and find the stainless steel, 8 inches long and 5 inches in girth, dildo.
I sit up against my headboard and kick off my panties and shorts, quickly
shoving the dildo inside of myself. I start fucking myself as fast as my arms
will allow as I get lost in my thoughts of my mother having me bent over on all
fours on her bed, her hands spreading my legs apart enough to where she can
fuck me. I hear something from outside my bedroom door but I choose to ignore
it, fucking myself a bit harder than before. I can feel my all too soon orgasm
sneak up on me and I end up nearly screaming as waves of pleasure roll through
my body. My thighs twitch as I start coming down from my intense orgasm. I pull
my panties and shorts back up onto my hips and get off my bed to see if Leon is
anywhere in the house. On the doorknob of my bedroom door is my missing black
pair of panties with globs of cum in them. It’s time I confront my mother
again.
***** Resolution *****
Chapter by andieisawesome2
Chapter Summary
     Angel is ready to confront her mother about the situation at hand,
     but Angie has other plans for Angel...
Chapter Notes
     IT'S FINALLY DONE!
     It took a while to even get this chapter started actually. I stayed
     up until almost 2am trying to finish this a few days ago thanks to a
     burst of motivation. This might not be the best chapter though
     because I finished it so late...but thanks to everyone who read this
     and enjoyed this fucked up story, yall are the best.
       I walk downstairs to my mother’s room with the pair of cum stained
panties in hand. I’m fueled by a fire of anger, lust, and anticipation. I was
going to confront my mother with this information in hopes of getting some
answers. Maybe I could even blackmail her to get what I finally want, her
attention. I walk slowly down the hallway to her room and with each step I take
I can feel my nerves starting to fade away. I’m shaking by the time I get to
her door and in the back of my mind I’m thinking I should go back to my room
and wait until my mother leaves for the airport later today. I raise my shaking
fist slowly and just as I was about to knock, my mother opened the door.
      She looked as if she were expecting me to be there at any moment due to
the expression on her face. She towers over me, dressed in a men’s business
suit and a dress shirt that’s buttoned down to show a little bit of her ample
cleavage. Her black tie is tied loosely around the collar of her red dress
shirt, making an oddly sexy addition to her. Her hair is a bit ruffled, looking
as if she has a serious case of bedhead. I can also see a slight bulge in the
left pants leg of her suit pants, making me wonder what she was doing before I
came here. My jaw drops as I take in the amazing sight before me, rendering me
almost not being able to speak.
     “What do you want Angel?” My mother sneers at me as I fumble with the
forgotten pair of panties in my hands.
      My mind races a mile a minute, all of my bravery quickly leaving me as I
try to come up with an answer for my mother. My legs tremble as I finally
gather up the last bit of bravery to talk to her.
     “W-well, I came here to talk to you about something if you have time…” A
smirk flashes across my mother’s face as she leans against the doorway.
     “Hm, you seems serious about this, Angel. How amusing considering you’re
almost never serious about something unless it’s your little cartoons. Go sit
on my bed and I’ll be right there.” I walk into my mother’s large room,
glancing around and then taking a seat on the foot of her bed. My mother closes
the door behind her, locking the handle as she turns away as well. She takes a
seat in her desk chair, turning around in it to face me.
       “So, you had something to talk to me about Angel?” My mother says in a
bored tone, while crossing her legs and leaning in a bit to talk to me. I
shakily hold up the stained pair of panties as my mind struggles to find the
right words to say. My mother raises an eyebrow at my stammering as annoyance
starts to rise in her face, startling me into being quiet.
       “M-mother, I know these are mine but I was wondering why they were on my
doorknob this morning…” She sighs, rubbing her temples as she stands up. She
smirks down at me, gripping my chin in her fingers as a flash of sinfulness
rolls through her eyes like lightning. My heart thumps in my chest as feelings
of dread and desire mix together and flow through me.
        “Oh, only if you knew my true intentions my dear Angel…” My mother
leans in and kisses me passionately, leaving me confused, surprised and turned
on all at once. Different questions run through my mind at a mile a minute,
making me actually think about what I’m about is horribly wrong in the eyes of
many. A voice in the back of my head screams at me not to follow through with
what my mother is planning to do to me and I decide against giving into my
mother. I quickly push my mother off of me, red flags going up in my head
telling me I shouldn’t have done that either. Now I’m wondering whether or not
to tell her to stop or to keep going for the simple fact that I’ll probably
never get this type of attention from her again.
          I look into my mother’s bright brown eyes to see pure lust and
adoration but with a sinister ambition behind them. She grips her hands in
mine, pressing her body against me and slowly pushing me down onto her bed.
Before I can ever register what she’s doing, she’s already kissing my neck
passionately like if she were my lover instead of my abusive mother. I’m
confused by her change in personality and I’m angered by it, but at the same
time it’s what I’ve been asking for from her all these years.
         My mother raises her torso from mine, leaving my legs wrapped around
her waist as she towers over me. She smiles softly at me as she reaches a hand
to let her sharp fingernails glide over my cheeks, making me flinch. She takes
my chin in her fingers again, gripping softly as her fingernails ghost along my
throat. My mother grips my throat, choking me and forcing a short lived moan of
pleasure from my lips. She smirks as she grips my throat a bit harder, making
me moan louder and squirm as I try to break free of her hand.
         “You actually thought I was going to be gentle didn’t you Angel? Hm,
that just shows how naïve you truly are baby girl.” My eyes widen, only being
able to muster another soft moan as she continues to choke me.
          She gives my throat one last squeeze before she goes to take off her
tie, tying it around my wrists and rendering me unable to move my arms very
well. My mother grabs hold of my pigtails, wrapping them around her hand and
pulling on them like she normally does. She keeps pulling on them until I sit
up, the height difference between us extremely evident considering my current
position letting her have easy access to my mouth. I keep my eyes locked on
her’s, afraid of what she’s going to do to me next. My mother manages to pull
down the zipper of her pants with one hand, pulling out her half erect cock as
well. I let out a squeak as she lightly slaps it on my cheek, chuckling as she
does so.
          “You’re surprised it’s this big up close aren’t you? I don’t know why
you’re being so shy now, I’ve seen you practice this on your dildo so put those
skills to work Angel.” She presses her throbbing cock head against my lips,
making me suck on it slightly.
          My mother sighs softly as she pushes more of her hardening member
past my lips and into my mouth. I moan softly despite my best efforts not to,
enthusiastically sucking my mother’s cock just to please her. She tugs on my
pigtails again, pushing her member further into my mouth as it hits the back of
my throat. I squirm under her grip, trying to pull myself away from her before
she pushes her entire length down my throat. She growls beastly as I gag and
choke, trying my best not to vomit as she starts to fuck my throat. She thrusts
slowly at first, giving me a chance to adjust to having her 9 inch cock stuffed
down my throat. My mother takes note of my squirming and pulls her cock out of
my throat, making me gasp and sputter for air.
           “You really can’t take that much down your throat can’t you Angel?
How pathetic really. Stand up for me baby girl.” I hesitate at first, unsure of
what my mother is going to do to me if I do stand up.
          She pulls on my pigtails again which causes me to cringe, making me
stand up in fear of if she’ll do anything worse to me. My mother lets go of my
pigtails and uses her hands to pull down my shorts, exposing my dripping cunt
to her. I don’t even get a chance to see her face before I’m bent over her bed
with her fingers deep inside of me. I squeal and moan as she pumps her fingers
deep inside of me, bringing me to a very premature orgasm.
          “You don’t last very long either I see…” I freeze as my mother puts
her hands on my ass, gripping it and groping it. She rubs her cock against my
cunt, coating it in my juices.
          My mother presses the tip of her cock against my entrance, making me
tense up and squirm underneath her. She leans against me, kissing my neck and
caressing my face gently as she pulls away from me. She presses the head of her
dick against my asshole, making me panic.
        “M-mommy, I haven’t had anything up there yet why are you doing this?”
I look back at her with a concerned look on my face, almost pleading with her
not to do it.
        “I figured I’d let your little friend Tre’ have a go at that little
pussy of yours since you care about him so much…” My mother pulls back and
presses the head of her cock into my ass, making me moan in pain as her dick
stretches me.
        She pushes about half of her dick inside of me as she hits a spot
inside of me, making me moan loudly. I gasp and arch my back, pressing back
against her as more of her cock slips inside of me and stretches me. She
bottoms out inside of me as I feel her throbbing member move inside of me, her
hips slapping against my ass. She takes no time in pounding me, scratching and
slapping my ass as it bounces and jiggles against her.
        “Who knew my own daughter would have the fattest ass on the block. I’m
surprised none of the wives here have gone after you yet. Hell, I’m surprised
you haven’t been slutting around the neighborhood with this ass of your baby
girl.” She takes liberty in fucking me as fast and as hard as she can, making
me gasp and moan as I squirm under her.
        I bounce on my mother’s cock as she fucks me, surges of pleasure
running through my veins and making me go limp a few times. My mother grunts
and growls like a beast as she pounds away at my ass, her orgasm quickly
approaching from what I can tell. She reaches out and pulls on my pigtails
again, keeping me close to her as she fucks my ass to her heart’s content. Her
grip on my ass starts to tighten as her thrusts become more frantic and sloppy,
her member twitching inside of me as I feel her tense up. My mother thrusts a
few more times before I feel her pull out of me, letting her thick ropes of cum
splatter against my ass. She lets go of my ass and unties my wrists, pulling me
to my feet by my pigtails. I quickly pull up my shorts onto my hips, fidgeting
with the hem of my t-shirt waiting for my mother to say something.
      “Get out of my sight. Now.” Her tone is grave and very serious, much like
how she gets when she’s angry. I scramble out of her room and run back to my
bedroom with tears streaming down my face.
      I sit on the far corner of my bed, my sobbing waking up one of the cats
that managed to get in the house and curl up under my computer desk. The ash
grey cat cautiously walks over to my bed, jumping onto it and curling up in my
lap. It paws at my stomach, making me look at it with red eyes. The cat looks
apologetic and nuzzles me, making me feel slightly better about myself. My
phone screen lights up with a picture of my brother again, letting me know that
he's calling me. I pick up the phone and hear the concern in his voice on the
other end.
      “Angel, I know this isn’t the best time but to be fair… I feel like
something happened between you and mom again. I think you should talk to Tre’
about this before you bottle it up like you normally do.” Angelo sighs and
hangs up the phone. 
       I reach down and grab ash grey cat, holding it close as I scroll through
my notifications. It’s filled with messages from Tre’, worried my mother did
something to me again. I sigh and open my messages, quickly texting him that my
mother did something today but it’s not that bad. I wait a few minutes before
he responds again, not believing what I’m saying.
Tre’ the based nerd: angel you know I can tell when you’re lying. You don’t use
emojis when you’re lying babe
       I giggle at his accusation, lightening my mood a little bit. I decide to
text him back that I’m okay and I just need a little bit of sleep before my mom
ships me off to lord knows where later on today before she goes off to Japan. I
put my phone on my bedside table, holding the feral cat in my arms before
setting him down and going to sleep.
***** Angie's Flashback *****
Chapter Summary
     Angie sits on her bed, half dressed and wallowing in shame after the
     despicable act she just committed against her own daughter. Memories
     swirl around her mind as she remembers the incident that changed her
     as a person forever.
Chapter Notes
     Over 10,000 hits, 148 kudos, 5 comments and 6,048 words later here is
     the 5th chapter! I've taken the time over the summer and christmas to
     create new characters and backgrounds for upcoming chapters. This is
     going to turn out more of an entire story rather than just sex
     everywhere like I thought it was going to be. This chapter goes a
     little bit in depth about Angel's mother, Angie, and why she's the
     way she is. It's a darker chapter that I was intending to write for a
     while now but I couldn't due to school being right around the corner
     and writer's block ||||D. Anyways!
     Enjoy, you crazy kids!
          I remembered the day that Giovanna first laid her hands on me like no
sister ever should. I will say, I made that same mistake today with my daughter
Angel. I’m not even going to try and lie to myself because what I did to her
was wrong. I kissed her. I made her suck my cock. I fucked her in the ass. No,
I raped her. I raped my own daughter. I don’t even have an excuse for why I did
it except maybe for the fact that Angel looks so much like Giovanna at times.
Giovanna is taller than me. Standing at 6’7” to be exact. She has almost the
same exact body type as I do, with wider hips being an exception. She had a
bigger dick than mine if I remember right too… Her skin tone is a bit darker
than mine, still being lightskin though. Her hair is longer than mine, going
past her ass the last time I saw her. She has eyes like mine, just hazel. I’ll
never forgive my older sister for what she did to me all those years ago when I
was 15. It was June 26th, 1994 and I had just gotten out of school for summer
break.
===============================================================================

       
       “I hate you Giovanna! I hope you go fucking die because you always ruin
my life! Why did you mess around with her?! I hate you!” I screamed at the top
of her lungs as I kicked my bedroom door shut.
        Giovanna had come back home to the Bronx from college upstate for the
summer to look after Joseph and I while our parents are overseas in Sweden for
vacation. As to be expected, Giovanna and I started fighting like and other
siblings would. Through my life, I’ve always been compared to my older sister
Giovanna in almost every aspect. Especially in high school. Once I had started
high school, the topic of sex had started becoming familiar to me due to my
friends always prying about what lied below my waist. Then came crushes left
and right for me. None of them showed interest until almost the end of my
Sophomore year of high school. I had dated the girl for almost 4 months until
Giovanna broke us up by fucking her.

        Giovanna followed right behind me, kicking down my bedroom door with
her muscular legs. “Hate me all you want Angie. It’s not my fault your little
girlfriend saw my cock and got curious!” Giovanna grabbed me by my shoulder,
pushing me into the hallway.

I hit my head on Giovanna’s bedroom door, the solid oak making it sound like my
head was hollow. I was in a daze from the pain, only conscious enough to
realize my older sister had already opened and shut her bedroom door.

         “Besides, you know I like my girls a little young Angie…” Giovanna
kisses me down my neck while pushing me down onto her bed. My cock starts to
twitch as she kisses my neck and I start pushing her away. I struggle against
her body weight, my head pounding in pain with every beat of my heart. I power
through the pain and try to push her off of me, only for her to press herself
against me more. The more I struggle, the more she kisses my neck and the
harder my cock gets.

         “Stop it Giovanna!” I attempt to say, only for it to come out as a
series of pained moans.  I squirm underneath her as she bites my neck, a new
pain shooting through my body. She pulls away from me and looks down at me with
a predatory smirk.

        “I said I like my girls young, did I not?” She whispers in a menacing
tone as she moves a hand down my body. For the first time in a long time, I
start crying. Bawling like a baby. I beg her not to do it only to be slapped
across the face by her.

         “I didn’t say you would be exception to the fact I like my girls
young. Hell, you’re the reason why I do Angie. Now, if you would stop
struggling we won’t wake up Josephina from her nap.” Giovanna pulls down my
basketball shorts to reveal my throbbing cock. I know what my sister is capable
of and I don’t dare to move a muscle out of fear of what she’ll do to me.
Giovanna lets out a short lived snort at the sight of my member, telling me
she’s seen bigger. From what I know, mine is bigger than the average man’s cock
by about 2 inches.  

     “You call this a cock?! No wonder your girlfriend cheated on you with me.
And you like to think you could be a top with this pathetic 7 incher? You’re
about to learn your place today little sis.” Giovanna flips me onto my stomach,
leaving my ass to be in the air. She lifts up my fairly heavy balls to reveal
my cunt underneath them. She pushes a finger past my slick folds and probes my
inner walls, pushing in a second finger to stretch me. I groan in pain as she
forces in a third finger to further stretch my walls.

The pain of hitting my head against that god forsaken door earlier intensifies
as my body tries to cope with the burning pain of my older sister forcing her
fingers inside of me. With a sickening slurp, Giovanna takes her fingers out of
me. She pulls on my long ponytail and forces me up onto my hands and knees,
pushing her fingers into my mouth and muttering one word.

      “Suck.” Giovanna says in a demanding tone as she pushes her fingers
further into my mouth. I continue to cry, but I sucked on her fingers
reluctantly. Once she was satisfied with my work she let go of my hair and
pulled her fingers out of my mouth, pushing me back onto my stomach with my ass
in the air. I hear something unzip from behind me but I don’t bother to look
back considering I already have a pretty good idea as to what it is. I feel
something heavy and warm slap against my ass, catching my attention
unfortunately.

       “This right here, is what a real futa’s cock is supposed to be like. Not
like that tiny dicklet between your legs Angie.” I look behind me to she my
older sister’s massive 9 inch cock wedged between my thick ass cheeks and
leaking pre-cum.

       “Now, if you want to keep your little girlfriend and your pride I
suggest you let me do what I need to do.” She lifts up my balls again, pressing
her cock against my wet cunt and I tense up as a feeble attempt to keep her
from slipping inside of me.

         I wasn’t ready for her thick, long member to stretch and break me. But
for the love of everything, my pride, Jojo’s innocence, and so hopefully
Giovanna doesn't terrorize me anymore, I give up and lay there and take it. If
there’s something I’ve learned in my years arguing and fist fighting with
Giovanna is that the more I focused on my emotions the more she could pick out
my weak spots and break me. In this case the more I react, the more she gets
off. Although, acting cold and distant is in my disposition so that won’t be a
problem.

         I wince a little bit as my older sister presses the head of her fat
cock against my entrance, stretching it as she forces more and more of herself
inside of me. Giovanna pulls away for a few seconds before ramming her dick
inside of me, making me let out a short lived scream of pain and agony. I
quickly silence myself as I remember that my little sister Jojo is still in the
house and could walk in at any point in time. My older sister continues to
pound away at my tight hole, lighting every nerve in my body on fire as pain
rockets through them. Giovanna did more than just stretch me, she destroyed me.
I try not to scream and cry as she pounds away in delight, whispering that this
is what sisters do and that she did this because she loved me.

         I grip the bedsheets below me and tears stream down my face as I
struggle to stay conscious, all of my nerves screaming at me to pass out in
order to not endure the trauma anymore. She grips my hips harder, telling me
she’s probably not going to last any longer. I feel as if I’m going to throw
up, the thought of my older sister cumming inside of me making my stomach
churn. I let out a strangled cry of agony as Giovanna lets her load loose
inside of me, the lot of it spilling out of my used cunt. She pulls out after a
few seconds with a disgusting plop and slaps my ass, making me moan in pain.

       “You’re not half bad little sis. While you wouldn’t make a good top,
you'd make a good bottom. Now, don’t you dare tell mom and dad about this when
they get back or else this will happen everytime I come back.” She grips my
throat as she threatens me, only letting go when I nod. She walks out of her
room and I’m left there in her sheets, bleeding and oozing warm cum all from
the same place. I lay there motionless and lost on what to do. So I cry. I lay
there and I cry. I cry until the sun goes down. I cry myself to sleep in my
bed. I cry in the morning when I wake up as the memories come back to me. I
cry.

        I cried until it turned into anger. I cried until anger turned into
indifference. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. Even now in the aftermath
of what I’ve done to my daughter Angel, I cry. The memories never went away. I
thought I would never have to face those demons again. I thought I would never
be able to pull off something like Giovanna did that day. I never would have
thought my first born child would look so much like the sister who hurt me all
those years ago. I never would have thought that could be an underlying reason
as to why I treat Angel like I do. I hope Angel doesn’t go through the same
thing I had to.
***** 4th of July With The Madison Family & Co. *****
Chapter Summary
     Angie is in charge of hosting the 4th of July celebration like
     normal, but this year it's a little more crowded than normal. SFW
     filler chapter.
Chapter Notes
     I know, this isn't chapter 6 but I'm still trying to get that written
     up and edited alongside some new characters and such. So enjoy!
                                  Angie’s POV
 
       It’s currently 8AM on the 4th of July here in the states and as per
usual, I’m the one that’s hosting the cookout for the family but with a few
changes from last year. Angel managed to convince me to let her internet
friends stay out here in New York for a few weeks this summer, and since I have
to set up the backyard I can’t do it so my older sister Giovanna is coming
around to pick up Angel and take her to the airport with her. I also convinced
my ex-husband, James to come out here too with Angel's twin brother Angelo so
the two can see each other before the school year starts up. I get out of bed
and take a shower, getting dressed in a pair of white shorts and an american
flag tank top. I go and check on Angel in her room to make sure she’s at least
awake so I can call Giovanna to come pick up her niece. Much to my surprise
Angel is awake and dressed already, sitting at her computer desk while on her
phone.
       “Did you call Giovanna already, Angel?” I ask her, making her jump in
surprise.
       “Y-yeah, I called her a few minutes ago. She said she’ll be here in 30
minutes to an hour.” Angel glances back at her phone screen and squeals
happily, making me cringe at how high pitched her voice can be at times.
       “Let me guess, Tré and his friends already landed?” I ask, groaning at
the fact that I now have to work around 5 different kids.
       “Yeah! I can’t wait to see them!” Angel get up from her computer chair
and rushes past me, presumably going downstairs to wait for my older sister to
pick her up.
===============================================================================
 
       About an hour or two goes by until Angel, Angelo, their father and
Angel's friends get to the house, Giovanna following not too far behind them
with an armful of bottles of promethazine codeine in tow. Giovanna is quite a
few years older than me and I would have expected her to stop partying as much
as she does, but I guess not. She goes in for a kiss on my cheek like she
always tries to do when I see her and as per usual I punch her in the dick.
Giovanna falters for a second and grunts softly.
     “Good one sis. Nice to see you too.” She recovers, although she walks away
towards the kitchen with a limp.
      I hear something crash down the hall from the living room and I turn
around to yell at whoever dropped my vase but much to my surprise there’s a
pair of twin boys towering over me, looking apologetic with their heads hanging
low. The both of them have to be somewhere close to 7 feet tall and over 18
years old. The twin on the right shakes his long, dark brown hair out of his
face and opens his mouth to speak. 
       “Sorry miss Madison, it was our fault.” His voice is low in pitch and
gravely with a soft tone to it, almost ghostly. When he speaks its as if he’s
not just speaking, but the both of them are almost as if there’s an echo in the
room despite being furnished from floor to ceiling. 
      I’m stunned not only by the eerie vibe the twins are giving off, but how
they’re so tall and lanky it seems as if they float instead of walking or
standing. I try to shake off the eerie feeling, but it just won’t leave.
     “It’s alright kids, don’t worry about it.” I go to pat the shoulder of the
twin to my right but I’m interrupted by a much softer and slightly higher
pitched voice, still matching the tone and echo of the first twin.
      “I wouldn’t suggest that. Ezekiel doesn’t like it when people touch him
near his neck.” I look to my left and it’s the second twin speaking this time,
his head still hung low. Just to test this theory, I inch my hand closer to the
first twin’s shoulder and before I know it his hand is clutching my wrist
tightly.
     “Elijah told you not to do that. I don’t know you, so therefor I won’t
hurt you...yet.” He lets go of my wrist, letting my arm drop to my side. I
don’t know these kids, but I’ll sure as hell not try either of them again this
summer.
===============================================================================
      A few more hours pass by and members of the family slowly trickle into
the house with the 6 kids running around and doing shit that I could really
care less about considering my sister Giovanna and my little brother Joseph are
about to get into another fight. I hear the both of them yelling at each other
in the of empty rooms on the 2nd floor in my house, and I rush up there as fast
as I can when I hear somebody hit one of the walls. I get up to the room and
practically rip the door of the hinges to see Giovanna laying in the wall to my
left, covered in drywall and writhing around in pain.
    “Joseph, what the fuck did you do?!” I yet at him, a worried but stern tone
in my voice. This needs to stop happening at family functions all of us go
to...
     Jojo is the shortest of all of us, measuring out at just 6’3” compared to
Giovanna’s 6’7”. The fact that he managed to get Giovanna on the ground is a
feat of strength in itself considering Giovanna can and has knocked out our 7
foot tall, 450 pound and muscular father before.
    “You know I can’t stand it when Giovanna try to hit on me! You know she do
this shit whenever we got a family function, I don’t know why you let her
come.” He screams at me, his voice having more bass than I remembered it to
have last time I saw him.
     I take a deep breath and calm myself, trying not to smack the shit out of
him for yelling at me. It’s mom’s job anyway.
     “I let her come over because she was going to be here anyway, and you know
what mom says whenever Giovanna isn’t at a family function. I’m not tryna hear
it this year. Second of all, I’m actually tryna be cordial unlike your petty
ass!” I yell at him, my anger bubbling up and making him seem small and almost
childish.
      “I’m sorry Angie... I’ll try to get along with her this time around but
if she try me one more damn time I’m kickin’ her ass.” Joseph growls and turns
to walk away from Giovanna who is getting up from the carpeted floor. I see her
reach for the bottom of his jeans and before I can warn him, he’s on the floor
with Giovanna on top of him and handing out that beat down that was bound to
happen.
     I can’t help but to cringe when I see blood on my white carpet, and I walk
over to try and break the two of them up. It takes a lot of effort since
Giovanna is nearly 400 pounds of brute strength when she’s this angry. I manage
to pull her off of Jojo whose nose is broken again like last Christmas and his
lord knows what his chest and stomach look like right now.
     I push Giovanna out of the room before Jojo can even attempt at getting up
and trying to beat her face in. I help Joseph up from his spot on the now
somewhat bloody carpet and help him down to the kitchen to give him a few
painkillers that I keep down there until Angel’s father gets here from his
mother’s house in Buffalo.
     “Angieee, are you sure you can’t wait until mom and dad get here to take
me to the hospital?” Jojo whines softly as I toss a relatively old hand towel
at him to keep his nose from dripping any more than it already has. 
     “I’m pretty fucking sure I can’t wait because once mom and dad get here,
we’re stuck here until they leave. You know how mom already hates going out of
her way after she’s already gotten somewhere.” The moment I finish my sentence,
I hear what I’ve grown accustomed to as a metal guitar riff and Manny’s
signature scream. It’s going to be a long 4th of July.
***** The Afternoon *****
Chapter Summary
     Angel and her mother are nowhere near being on the road to
     reconciling but both of them make attempts to get along after what
     happened earlier that day. After a long flight to San Diego, Angel
     and Tré spend the day together doing things friends do like hanging
     out. Will Angel finally confess her feelings for him?
Chapter Notes
     BY GOD DID THIS TAKE FOREVER.
     I hope yall enjoy this, it took several months and repeatedly
     deleting everything I had written for me to finish this. I wrote this
     while listening to a lot of Lana Del Rey, especially when I was
     writing the last few scenes of Angel and Tré.
          A few hours pass as the planned departure for my flight creeps ever
closer. I wake up from a deep sleep, taking it as a sign that I had passed out
almost immediately after what happened with my mother. I groan in pain as I
make an attempt to sit up, a sharp pain shooting through my back and internal
organs. My sheets are still somewhat sticky from the aftermath of this
morning’s incident. I manage to pull myself upright by using my bedside table
to aide in it. I look around my room to see sunlight bleeding in through the
windows across from my bed, the pigeons and feral cats outside practically
screaming. The ash grey cat from outside sits in the rays of sun on the
windowsill, yawning and stretching.
 
         My phone starts vibrating wildly, Tré’s skype icon on the screen. I
pick up my phone and answer his call, only to hear his high pitched scream into
the mic as I hear a thud on his end.
 
        “Fuck, I dropped my phone again… Sorry for screaming into the mic like
that, Angel.” Tré’s voice is one I will never get over. It’s deep and
demanding, almost on the vocal level of that of a grown man but still retaining
some childish traits like being really high when he screams.
 
        “It’s alright Tré, don’t worry about it.”  I say to him, trying to
sound as forgiving and happy as I normally do. He huffs so hard on the other
side that I can practically hear him rolling his eyes. He’s quite the sass king
when he wants to be.
 
         “Come on Angel, you know I hate it when my voice peaks like that.
Besides, you don’t sound so good…”  I freeze in my mental tracks, caught off
guard by his statement. I can’t tell him what happened yet. I have to tell him
face to face so he can’t worry himself sick until I land in San Diego.
        “Look, I’ll tell you what happened when I get to San Diego if you
promise not to tell your mom or Manny.”  I can already feel tears brimming at
the corners of my eyes, threatening to fall down my face. I take a deep breath
and try to calm myself, gathering my thoughts as I do so so I’m not a dead
giveaway to him.
 
        “You pinkie promise?”  Tré asks me, his voice peaking again before
returning to normal. Tré always has asked me to pinkie promise him I was okay
since we were kids, even though we’re on opposite sides of the country.
 
       “I pinkie promise I’ll tell you when I get to San Diego.”  I roll my
eyes and laugh, my bleek day becoming slightly better than it once was.
 
      “Good. That’s the Angel I know and love! I mean know, I don’t love you
like that, I love you like a friend not like a date or anything! I think my mom
is calling me so I gotta go now, I’ll call you back later Angel so bye!”  Tre
is near hysterics by the time he manages to end the call, which isn't unlike
him but its a bit strange to the outsider.
 
       I slowly pull myself up from my bed, everything from the waist down is
in a constant throbbing pain but I manage to power through it to stand up. I
hobble around my room, picking up the things I need for my shower and manage to
get my outfit together for the flight later on today. Once I get all my clothes
together and such, I walk out of my room and downstairs to the bathroom. As I
walk down the hall leading to the bathroom, I run into my mother quite
literally.
 
       “Angel, make sure you watch where you’re going. Don’t want another
accident now don’t we?”  She says aggressively in a growling tone, purposely
pushing me out of her way as she walks down the hall towards her study.
 
        I grip my things in my arms harder, trying to keep myself composed as
the events of this morning once again come back in a tsunami of emotions that I
can’t quite express any other way than bawling like a child. I come across the
massive oak door leading to the bathroom and open it, walking in and closing it
behind me. The bathroom is large, the baseboards and floors being made of dark
green marble while the walls and ceiling are made of white marble to make a
striking contrast against each other. I set my things down on the white marble
bench closest to the glass shower enclosure, turning the rose gold colored
knobs to set the temperature of the water.
 
        I strip out of my clothes as slowly and gently as I can manage, taking
special care when I have to pull down my basketball shorts and panties from my
sore lower body. I shudder as I feel my mother’s once warm come run down my
legs as it leaks from my violated asshole. My stomach lurches as my mind
wanders to the resounding thought that maybe I actually deserved to have her
force herself on me like that. I shake the intrusive thoughts out of my mind,
pulling my t-shirt over my head and throwing it in the pile with my basketball
shorts and panties. I make sure to put my long black hair in a bun before
getting into the shower to keep my hair out of my face.
 
        I step into the warm shower enclosure and sit in on the red marble
floor underneath the showerhead, sitting there with my head in my hands. All of
my emotions hit me at once, the reality and severity of the situation finally
starting to sink in. At first it was just me being upset at the fact that I
even thought I wanted my mother to give me that kind of attention because I
never got any regular attention from her as a kid. This time around it’s a
mixture of anxiousness, anger, and depression that bombard me and break me down
to my current state of being.
 
        I start bawling like a child as I realize that I was broken from the
start, not given a chance at forming the slightest of a relationship with my
mother because she was always busy with work. Even then it was always my
grandparents, Hugo and Zari that took care of my brother Angelo and I. When
they weren’t able to take care of us, my mom’s last resort was taking us to the
office with her and leaving us in the care of Portia, who happens to be my
mother’s right hand woman. Until my brother and I were 12 and able to watch
each other, it had always been other people watching over us. My mother failed
me and my brother.
 
       My warm body trembles in rage, confusion and hurt. I slowly stand up
from the now warm and wet red marble tiles of the shower and plant my hands
against the green marble wall. I pound my fists against the wall as a scream of
pure rage tears from my throat mixed in with pleads for my mother to love me
like she’s supposed to as a mother, not whatever the hell happened this
morning. I scream and yell while pounding away at the wall for lord knows how
long when I hear the door to the bathroom slam open. I look up with tears
pouring from my eyes and body trembling from the emotional strain its been put
under in such a short amount of time to see my mother standing in the door
frame with tears in her eyes too.
 
      “What the fuck do you want with me now?”  My voice is strained to a
whisper from how shredded my vocal cords are from screaming.
 
       “I-I wanted to apologize. For what happened this morning and whatever
the hell I did to you as a kid. I’m sorry. I wish I could have been there for
you and Angelo more as you two were growing up but your father and I were
struggling to go to college at the same time. I regret doing so much to you
that you didn’t deserve.”  My mother starts sobbing, her regret and guilty
visibly wracking her body as she trembles. I understand she had to do what she
needed to make sure she could have a future not only for herself, but for my
brother and I. I still can’t help but to feel like I was abandoned by her.
 
       “I wish I could take it all back so wouldn’t be here in this situation,
so you wouldn’t be haunted by the fact that I fucking raped you! God dammit!
I’m just like that monster of an older sister of mine!...fuck.”  My mother
begins to cry even harder than she was before, looking as if she just might
collapse. I feel a coil of pity twists itself around in my stomach, conflicting
with my resentment towards my mother even still for what she did this morning.
 
      The pain of regret and guilt are bright in my mother’s green eyes, years
of emotional despair evident in them as she cries. I sigh as I open the door to
the shower enclosure and step out, picking up my clothes and putting them on. I
stand in front of my mother as she sobs, hesitant of if I should at least
attempt to comfort her. My hand shakes as I put it on her shoulder, trying to
comfort the lumbering giant now on her knees. I take a deep breath as I try and
calm myself as an attempt to keep from crying in sympathy.
 
     “Look, I know you’re broken. I’m broken too mother. Yeah, it may be
because of you but I know you didn’t mean for me to end out like this. I may or
may not forgive you in the long run once I have my emotions sorted out but as
of right now we’re on good terms.”   I kneel down onto the cool, wet dark green
marble floor and wrap my arms around her as best as I can. The hug seems to
make her calm down at least a little bit in the midst of both of our emotions
going in overdrive. Her cries and sobs die down to a few sniffles here and
there between pleads for forgiveness.
 
     “I can’t believe you’re actually going to try and forgive me. Maybe you
didn’t turn out so bad after all…”  My mother chuckles as her long curly black
hair sticks to her tear stained face, effectively hiding the intense red blush
running across her caramel colored cheeks. She wraps her long arms around my
torso, trapping me in a bear hug so tight I’m wheezing in order to breathe.
     “Let me go please.”  I cough and wheeze as my mother unwraps her long,
muscular arms from my torso. I pull away from her and take a deep breath to get
my bearings back in order after nearly having the life hugged out of me.
 
    “Now that we have this somewhat settled, let’s get you on that plane to go
see your friends!”  The much taller woman proclaims half heartedly as she
gathers all the hair from her face and puts it up into a loose ponytail.
 
    My mother’s attitude has went from being depressive to cheerful as if
nothing happened in the past thirty minutes or so. At least she’s back to
normal-ish. As much as I would hate to admit it, I don’t like seeing my mother
cry because it brings me to tears too. My mother walks out of the bathroom,
with me following after her only to part our separate ways in the hall.
 
    I go back to my room and gather my few carry on bags, attempting to shoo
away the feral cat that’s still sitting on the covers of my bed. The grey cat
meows angrily and furiously rolls over onto my bookbag, thoroughly trapping it
under its fluffy, ash gray body.  I open my closet and look for the old cat
carrier that I haven’t used for the local stray kittens in almost 2 years.
Thank god I kept it clean though. I open the carrier’s door, stuffing in some
of my old blankets I had sewn together in my early teen years. The cat perks
its head up from my bed as I set the carrier on the floor, backing away from
it.
 
    The grey cat hops off my bookbag and onto my purple carpeted floor, slowly
closing the distance between it and the cat carrier. The feline taps its paws
at the multiple cotton blankets cautiously, sticking its head in a few times
before trotting in and curling into the blankets and meowing in content. I
close the small metal bar door and lock it shut, picking up the carrier by the
handle on the top. I put the cat down onto my bed, picking up my multi-pastel
colored bookbag and throwing it onto my back. I pick up the cat carrier again,
walking out of my room and heading downstairs to the living room where I assume
my mother is waiting for me after loading up the SUV.
 
    “Why do you have a cat carrier?”  My mother looks up from her phone and
quirks an eyebrow in curiosity. I set the carrier on the plush, blood red
carpet of the living room and the cat I’ve now named Leon, mews softly. The
older woman glances between me and Leon as he meows.
 
    “You plan on taking a stray with you? All the way to California? For a
month?”  Her green eyes glint with a mixture of concern and tiredness as I
awkwardly stand in front of her, waiting for a response. There’s an anxious
ridden silence before she finally answers.
 
    “Alright. As long as you get its shots done while you’re there, you can
keep it.”  My mother rolls her eyes and heads for the large dark brown oak
front door, opening it and leaning against it.
    I pick up the cat carrier and walk outside to my mom’s silver suv and get
into the passenger side with my bookbag on the floor and the cat carrier on my
lap, waiting for her as she closes and locks the front door to our house. She
walks over to the car, opening the driver’s side door and getting in.
 
    “Are you sure you still want to go to California? Your grandparents said
they're free if you want to stay with them.”  The lighter woman suggests in a
hesitant tone as she starts up the car.
 
      “I’m sure I still want to go since I won’t see Tré until almost the
middle of the summer.”  I glance over at my mother and she’s looking even more
guilty and sorry for herself than she did when we were in the bathroom earlier.
I huff and groan in both pain and anger.
 
      “I know you still probably feel bad for what you did, but stop being so
fucking pitiful about it. You look like a bitch and sound like one too. If you
really wanted for me to genuinely accept your apology, you could at least tell
me why you did it to begin with when both of us get back.”  My mother’s face
visibly drains of all color and she’s the complexion of raw pie crust as I
insult her. I don’t think anybody, even Auntie Giovanna, have called her a
bitch before in this context. My mother fumbles for the gear shift and puts the
car in drive, pulling out of the driveway and speeds into the city.
 
      “I’d never thought it would take my own kid telling me to stop being a
bitch to sober me up. I can’t even be mad at you because its true. I promise
that when the both of us get back, I’ll tell you everything. But it seems like
I have raised you right since you told me off just now and I’m impressed!”  Her
voice cracks from time to time as she speaks, making me chuckle at the fact
that she’s so flustered over me calling her out on her bullshit. We continue to
speed through the streets of New York to the best of traffic’s ability which
actually makes for a fairly swift trip to JFK Airport.
 
      The next few hours in the airport with the taller woman are awkward to
say the least after I put her in her place. She doesn’t bother in trying to
apologize but instead we hold uncomfortably silent conversations about things
like how school is going for me. Between the suffocating quietness and the
deafening bustle of the airport, its clear neither of us can focus on even
attempting to talk to each other.
 
      My flight finally touches down and I wave my mother goodbye before
heading off to the gate. Once I’m on the plane and settled in my seat, I get a
text from Tré showcasing his newly pastel pink cornrows with Manny in the
background shredding away on his guitar while headbanging.Only those two wiould
send me a video like this! I snort at the antics going on in the video and text
tre back that she should stick with pastels since they suit him well, adding in
that Manny should dye his hair too the next time Tré does his own hair. Before
I can get a text back, its already time for take off. I go through the motions
like the rest of the passengers, turning off my phone and whatnot. About an
hour into the flight, I start to drift off to sleep.
 
    I wake up halfway through the flight in a cold sweat over the anxious
environment of my dreamworld. Even though I’ve had feelings for Tré for the
past 3 years, I’ve felt like I could never admit that to him because we’ve been
friends for literally our entire lives. Hell, one of my major fears other than
heights is the fear that he’s going to reject me if I ask him out but I’ve got
to at least tell him how I feel when I touch down in San Diego. I put my mind
at ease long enough to drift back asleep for the rest of the flight.
 
     I wake up again as the plane is touching down in San Diego International
Airport, looking out the window to see the sun still rising through the sky
unlike how sunny and warm New York was when I left that afternoon. The voice of
the pilot comes over the intercom and tells the passengers that we’ve landed in
San Diego and to have a nice morning.
 
      I shift around in my seat, anxious to get off of the plane soon so I can
see Tré already and let some things off my chest. The plane finally comes to a
stop at the gates and the door opens to the warm California sunrise and I start
getting my bookbag together. I throw my bag onto my back and walk down the
stairs, the sunlight peeking over the blood red horizon. I make my way into the
terminal alongside the other passengers, heading towards the Starbucks closest
to the front of the terminal where Tré told me he and our respective mother’s
long time friend and business partner, Portia would be waiting for me.
 
      It doesn’t take much for me to see Portia’s pale, smiling face and bright
orange hair through the fairly dense crowd. Being as short as I am, I almost
get lost in the crowd of people before I feel a pair of arms encircle me in a
hug and lift me off the ground. I look up to see Tré’s adorable, dorky, smiling
face. He puts me down almost as fast as he picked me up.
 
      I take a moment to take it all in, the scenery, the time, everything. I
haven’t been in San Diego in over a year and Tré has changed a lot since I’ve
last seen him. He’s still as handsome as ever with his goofy smile and waist
length electric blue faux dreads. Tré’s also gotten taller considering he was
just barely touching 6 foot 1 last year, leaving me to assume he’s shot up
another 3 inches. The last time I was in San Diego was for his 16th birthday
and the day of his top surgery all on the same day last July.
 
     Portia on the other hand, I haven’t seen her since I started high school.
She’s still as tall as ever even without her heels on, being a dizzying 6’9”
compared to my tiny self standing at 5’1”. Her hair mostly looks the same fiery
shade of orange with an exception of a thick streak of white hair to the left
side of her head. The amazon of an irish woman bends down to pinch my cheeks
and gush over how much (little) I’ve grown in the past near 4 years.
 
     “You’ve grown into such a beautiful young woman Angel, it’s so good to see
you again!”  Her voice is thick with her Irish accent as she wraps her around
me in a tight hug, her Metallica t-shirt vaguely smelling like cherry blossoms
and peaches as I sink into her hug. She lets go of me and pats me on the head
as if I were a kid again.
      “Let’s go get your bags before somebody else claims them.”  Portia stands
up again, towering over Tré and I as the two of us follow behind her to the
baggage claim area.
 
       It doesn’t take long to get there much to my surprise, maybe being 3
minutes at most. Tré stands at the conveyor belt with me as Portia goes off
somewhere to flirt with one of many people waiting for their bags. The air
between us awkward to say the least but that doesn’t stop Tré from trying to
make it less so.
 
       “My mom suggested you should come with us to Jamaica next summer so you
can meet my grandparents. I talk about you a lot when I talk to them and
they’re glad I have a best friend like you, so they kinda wanna meet you.”
 His adorable face turns a dark shade of red as he wrings his fingers along the
bottom hem of his space cat tank top.
 
       “I wouldn’t mind going with you Tré, you know I’ve always wanted to go
anyway.” I smile at him and his face turns a blood red as he blushes wildly
like the absolute dork he is. I see my bags come around the bend of the
conveyor belt and Tré helps me get them. Once all 3 of my suitcases are off the
belt, we go and sit down and wait for Portia to come back. The both of us sit
in near skin crawling silence for what feels like an eternity until he starts
to say something.
 
       “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while Angel and I
figured I’d tell you now since I probably won’t see you until next summer so
here it goes.” Tré is cut off by Portia finally appearing and sitting in the
seat next to him as she holds Leon’s cat carrier.
 
     “I found yer cat for ya Angel, you two almost missed the poor fella. Now,
let’s get you two and the kittie here to back to Tré’s place.”  The tall
redhead pats him on the back so hard that I can hear it as he wheezes in pain.
Portia gets up from her seat next to Tré and waits for the both of us to
follow.
 
    Tré looks disappointed and hurt that he didn’t have the chance to tell me
what he wanted me to know. I can’t help but to feel pity and curiosity for him
as he gets up from his seat with a disappointed expression on his face. It
makes me wonder what was so important and heavy on his mind that he wanted to
tell me now. The three of us walk in silence out of the flight terminal and out
to the parking lot where Portia’s SUV is parked.
 
    Her and Tré help me put my bags into the back, leaving Leon for me to carry
on my lap during the ride to Tré’s house. Tré and I sit in the backseat
together, uncomfortable silence suffocating the air of the truck. It feels like
eons before the silence is broken by Leon meowing alongside Portia asking us
questions.
 
    “What are the both of you so sullen for eh? I was expectin’ the two of ya
to be all over each other gabbin’ about how much you missed each other.”  The
redheaded woman glares at the both of us in her mirror for a few seconds before
giving up on getting an answer out of the both of us.
The drive to his house only takes 15 minutes like usual, the afternoon sun
starting to rise high into the sky. Portia pulls up in front of Tré’s house,
the mid-sized reddish-orange house practically glowing as the sun beats down on
it. I glance at the clock on Portia’s dashboard as I get out of the car, it
reads 1:30PM.
 
     ‘That means Tré’s parents won’t be home until almost 7 tonight which gives
me time to work up the courage to tell him-’  I’m jolted out of my train of
thought by the sound of Portia slamming the trunk door closed. I look up to see
Tré is already up the driveway at the front door, taking one of my suitcases
and my bookbag into the house.
 
     Portia manages to carry my other two suitcases into the house as I follow
behind her, shutting the door behind me as she heads upstairs to where Tré’s
bedroom and the 2 guest bedrooms are located as well as his art studio. Portia
tells the both of us goodbye and to call her if we need her before Tré’s
parents get home later. We mutter our goodbyes and nod at her as she heads back
down the stairs and eventually out the door.
 
    Tré and I awkwardly stand in his room, unsure of what to do with ourselves
now that we’re alone again. Leon’s meows and scratches at his cat carrier door
draws both of our attentions to him. Tré is the faster out of the two of us and
leans down onto his carpeted bedroom floor to open the cat carrier and reaching
inside, picking up Leon and holding him in his arms. Tré looks so god damned
cute with an animal in his arms and it makes me wonder how it would look if he
were holding me instead…
 
    “...So where did you find this little guy Angel?”  Tré asks me as he
smiles, watching Leon yawn and nuzzle his head into the tall boy’s chest.
 
   “Right outside my bedroom window meowing up a storm so loud that it woke me
up!”  I giggle as I step forward to pet Leon as he dozes off in Tré’s arms.
 
    “He seems like the kind to wake people up judging from how fussy he was in
cat carrier while we were getting your bags in the house.”  Tré places Leon
gently back in his cat carrier and closes the door, picking it up.
 
    “We should probably let him have a room to himself while you’re here at
least.”  I follow the blue haired boy out of his room and down the hall to one
of the unfurnished bedrooms on the floor. He puts down Leon and walks over to
the closet in the far right corner of the medium sized room and opens the black
double sliding doors, pulling out his old cat’s toys. The blue haired boy drags
out a few cat towers and a litter box too.
 
     “I didn’t know you still had Diva’s old stuff! I thought she got too old
for the cat towers by the time she passed.”  I look at him quizzically,
wondering why he still kept his dead cat’s things.
 
     “I keep em around for when Manny brings his kitten, Seven, over while we
write songs and hang out.”  He smiles that bright, beautiful, joyful smile at
me and I nearly melt on the spot from him being so heartbreakingly adorable.
Tré bends over to open the cat carrier again, leaving the door open for
whenever Leon wakes up.
 
     “Sooo, do you wanna go and get some food or something? I’m guessing you’re
hungry after your flight.”  Tré asks me softly, seeming unsure of even asking
me in the first place.
 
     “Of course I’m hungry you dork! I was so excited this morning that I
forgot to eat, you know how I get when I’m excited for something.”  I beam at
him as I grab his hand, making him go pink in the face as I continue to hold
it.
 
    “I work at an ice cream shop not too far from here, if you wanna grab one
of my old boards and go with me that is.”  Tré manages to wiggle his hand out
of mine and wrings it in the hem of his tank top like he does when he’s nervous
or unsure of himself.
 
    “I haven’t been on a skateboard since the first snow melted back home in
March but it’ll be good to be on one again, especially since its with you
instead of my cousins. You know how they can be sometimes…”  I roll my eyes at
my own mention of my cousins considering all they ever do is bother me when
we’re all together.
 
   “Maybe I can teach you some more tricks while we’re out today then! I
learned a few that are more for park skating but I think you can catch on
pretty quickly.” Tré winks at me and I can’t help but to let out a squeak as my
face quickly heats up because of how beautiful and sweet this boy is sometimes.
 
     I calm myself down to the best of my ability and get my shit together as
the both of us make our way back downstairs to one of the side rooms containing
all the bikes, surfboards, longboards, and skateboards in the house. He takes
out one of the longer skateboards out for himself and hands me one of the
smaller boards. I run back upstairs to change into my black board shorts, tye
dye cat tank top, and sneakers as Tré pack up one of his bookbags. The taller
boy pats down his pockets to make sure he has his wallet, keys, and his phone
before we leave the house to make sure we don’t get locked out again like last
time.
 
    We leave the house and he makes sure to lock the door behind us as he
always does. The brutal afternoon sun is beautiful in all of its destruction,
making the far off mountains and desert pop with a sharp contrast of a light
gray and a devilish orange-red. Tré and I speed away from the house and make it
to the end of the short street, waiting for a few cars to go by before the
coast is clear to go again.
 
    The various houses, blue sky, cars, bustling clusters of people, and
eventually the world all melts away as Tré and I drift through the side streets
of his neighborhood, leaving only the two of us. I love him too much for my own
good sometimes and it makes me wonder;  ‘Does he love me too?’  I’ve known him
my entire life, almost always being there for all of his birthdays and other
big events and he’s been there for most  of mine. I reflect back on all the
memories I have of the both of us together. Its surreal for how long we’ve come
along since we were kids just running around in the summer sun and giggling
together to him coming out as trans to me and having to hold him in my arms as
I told him I would always be there for him.
 
     He slows down on his board and coasts next to me, smiling brightly as the
sun shines down on the both of us. I can’t help but to smile back at him,
feeling euphoric just from being around him. He takes my hand in his as we
round a corner, gradually slowing down some more until we come to a complete
stop in front of a small ice cream shop on the dead-end, formerly flourishing
neighborhood from an era long forgotten.
 
     The brown, chubby, round faced boy standing the window of the shop waves
at the both of us as we walk up to the small shack. Tré introduces me to him,
telling me his name is Garret and that he knows him from school. The two boys
hold a short conversation until Garret asks the both of us what we want,
telling us that anything is on the house since his father went into town to get
some things.Tré gets a cookie dough sundae like he always gets whenever we  do
go out for ice cream back in the city. I get a chocolate and sprinkle covered
cone of toffee and mocha ice cream since its something new that I’ve never had
before.
 
    The portions are stupidly huge, Tré’s sundae being the size of his head and
my cone having to be upside down in an insulated bowl to keep it from melting
too fast. We sit at one of the scattered picnic tables underneath a massive
tree and dig into our ice cream, an hour or two going by before either of us
manage to finish our portions. Tré glances at his watch, noticing that its been
longer than two hours, the clock on both of our phones reading 7:50PM which
means we’ve been gone for almost 6 hours.
 
    We know neither of his parents will be home soon but we both agree to head
back there anyway so we can watch the sunset from the roof. The both of us say
our goodbyes to Garret and thank him for the ice cream as we being to skate
away. The sky is already starting to melt together in beautiful hues of pinks,
blues, oranges, and reds as the sun slowly descends through the heavens. The
ride through the empty streets is almost mesmerizing as the glow of the
streetlights mixes with the ever intensifying shades of the sunset, creating a
dreamland filled with colors and him.
     
    Everything melts away again as coast, making me feel as if I were flying
through the evening skies with Tré, a nostalgic phantom ghosting between this
reality and another life we had lived before. I continue to float through space
for what I can only call an eternity until we finally make it back to the
house.
 
    Tré opens the door, letting the both of us inside before closing it behind
me. We leave our boards in the living room and head upstairs towards the attic
that has a skylight that opens onto the roof. He helps me climb through it,
shutting it behind me as well. The both of us sit on the roof, watching the sun
meet the earth like two long time lovers once separated long ago. There’s an
extensive silence between us before either one of us speaks.
 
   Tré raises one of his eyebrows and goes red in the face, not daring to look
away from me. His brown eyes are sparkling with expectation and curiosity,
making the situation more intense than it probably needs to be.
 
   “I mean, I had something to say too while we were at the airport today but I
got cut off ya know. If you wanna go first go right ahead since it seems like
its more important than what I’ve gotta say anyway.”  I glance between his
strong gaze and the ever lowering sun, trying to give myself enough time to get
my nerves back into order.
 
    I feel my arms and legs shaking as a sick feeling settles in my stomach but
I manage to stutter past it.  “I-I’ve been feeling this way for a few years now
but, Tré, I love you.”
 
    We sit there in silence for a few moments before Tré breaks down in tears,
throwing his arms around me and holding me in a bear hug as he sobs.  “I love
you too Angel.”  He whispers to me and I start to cry too. We hold each other
and sob into each other’s shoulders for a while before pulling apart. The fire
in his eyes is still there, burning brighter than before and furiously roaring
with love and passion.
 
   “You wanna kiss or something like that?”  He asks me in the dorkiest way
possible, causing me to giggle at how much a nerd he can be sometimes. I throw
my arms around his neck as best as I can manage and pull him in, pressing my
lips against his. He kisses me back almost immediately, the both of us smiling
as we pulls our faces apart.
 
   “I wonder how our families are going to react to the news that we’re dating
now.”  I snort at my own statement, knowing that both of my parents are going
to be relieved that I finally fessed up to loving Tré.
 
    “All I know is that your mom owes my mom a hundred bucks.” Tré winks at me
and the both us laugh, watching as the sky gradually becomes filled with bright
stars. Tré and I sit close to each other, talking about how beautiful the night
sky is for a bit longer before going back into the house.
 
    We separate only to get changed into our pajamas for the night, staying up
until almost 2am watching videos and talking to each other. I’m glad I’ve had
him around my whole life, I’m ecstatic that I’ve finally gotten my love for him
through, and most of all I’m lucky to have him.
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