Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/995006.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Rape/Non-Con,
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Code_Geass
  Relationship:
      Lelouch_vi_Britannia/Kururugi_Suzaku, Lelouch_vi_Britannia_&_Schneizel_el
      Britannia
  Character:
      Lelouch_vi_Britannia, Kururugi_Suzaku, Schneizel_el_Britannia
  Additional Tags:
      Military, Alternate_Universe, Coffee_Shop, Past_Violence, Violence,
      Threats_of_Violence, Domestic_Violence, Sexual_Violence, Consent_Issues,
      Consensual_Sex, Non-consensual_sex, Drug_Use, Drug_Addiction, Threats_of
      Rape/Non-Con, Oral_Sex, Anal_Sex, Gay_Sex
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-10-07 Updated: 2016-02-12 Chapters: 5/? Words: 52063
****** Minor vs. Major ******
by PitchGold
Summary
     Major Suzaku Kururugi has been quietly given an office post for an
     incident his superiors would like to keep equally as quiet. He
     intends to simply wait it out till he can get back to his normal
     life, which is until he meets Lelouch, the boy who works at the local
     Barnes & Noble, and unfortunately a minor.
     As the tale goes on Lelouch finds keeping his lies straight harder
     than he ever imagined as his own life and Suzaku's are quickly
     entangled when Schneizel el Brittania steps in with intent of
     becoming the master puppeteer. In an effort to free himself, Lelouch
     stains his hands a violent shade of red and finds out that Suzaku's
     have already been stained and have just been given a fresh coat.
***** Major Suzaku Kururugi *****
Because he really hadn't wanted anything else, he had joined the military.
Because he had always been good with physical things, he'd left on his first
deployment before the rest of his barrack mates had even finished training.
Because he had always been good at following orders to the upmost extreme, he
had achieved one hundred percent with zero casualties on almost every
assignment given. Because it didn't make sense for him to not accept his
officer's promotion, he had accepted it. Because he didn't know what else to
do, he'd simply saluted upon orders to serve another tour. Because he couldn't
bring himself to leave that soldiers body in the cold mud, he now pinned that
medal on before every formal event right next to the last four he'd been given.
Because he couldn't come up with a better reason not to he had taken the
command post. Because he hated every loss taken to his battalion, he had taken
the vague job offer he'd turned down year after year after year. Because he
hadn't been surprised at what it all entailed, he had passed his first mission
with flying colors and simply washed the blood out of his uniform with care.
Because he knew he'd never be anything better than he was as a killer, he'd
excelled at what he did. Because he couldn't remember the last time he'd told
someone no, he'd given a "yes, sir" and gone ahead with his next mission.
But now—
He stood at the desk—his new desk. He hadn't been stupid. He –well he wasn't
sure what he had been. Had there been a "because" when he had looked that
solder in the eye and waited for the gunshot that never came he may not have
had to stand there. His hands shook as they skirted over the small plaque at
his finger tips. "Major Kuurugi" was printed across the front in basic font.
===============================================================================
"You need to take some time off."
His superior had sat at that same desk the day when Suzaku had been swore into
that special unit. He was sure that the desk was a standard size, but it looked
so much bigger with Bismarck's lumbered and broad form seated behind it that he
was never sure. The same man didn't look up as he spoke to him. His tanned hand
held a pen for which was quickly signing their way through the papers before
him. Suzaku knew those papers, especially from the name of Suzaku Kururugi
printed throughout the same said document.
"Weinberg said you didn't even flinch. That's a problem." He said it with
irritation. Suzaku knew why, problems were hindrances, and a hindrance was
unacceptable. "Take this job for a good year or so and after you get a hang of
yourself I'll call you back."
Suzaku gave a solemn nod. He wasn't sure what else to do. He—what had he done
that night? He couldn't think of it. He'd seen it coming and he hadn't even
tried to stop it. But that was behind him, just like ever thing else. He just
needed to move on now. It had been a minor insurrection, and now was simply
something that needed to be forgotten.
"I will call you back." Bismarck assured as Suzaku's eyes fleeted up to find he
was being looked at, directly. It wasn't a promise or an assurance as much as
an informative.
"I understand sir." Suzaku said as he gave another sharp nod. He straightened
unconsciously just a little, his hands clasped just a bit tighter behind his
back, his feet squared just a bit more precise. He knew he was a good soldier,
if nothing else, he knew he was a really good soldier. He also knew that
Bismarck knew this, even if Suzaku was still ever ready to prove it yet again.
"Good." That stare of ice turned back down to the paper work placed on the
desk. It weighed the room down as it ever bore witness to what was happening.
It wasn't a demotion, but it was close enough to that that Suzaku despised his
name upon it. His stomach churned at the thought. He wasn't unaccustomed to
failure, he just simply was unaccustomed to it in the one thing he knew he
could do very well. "Get over this quickly, Kururugi. I don't have time to let
you be idle." Bismarck's voice rumbled over the words, forced Suzaku to listen,
and forced him to recognize the unspoken order.
"Yes, sir." Suzaku said as he swallowed down the unneeded lump in his throat.
He knew that Bismarck's words had been meant as nothing more than a command,
but at the same moment there had been implications, of resignation, of
disappointment.
Suzaku hated disappointment, at least when applied to him. He hated felling it
for himself, and he hated it worse from other people. He hated it in high
school when he'd gotten it over and over again as he'd asked yet again to have
a grammatical, mathematical, or even a historical concept reiterated. He'd
hated it when he'd turned his grades into his coaches for pregame checks. He
hated it for every shot missed or bench time spent. He hated to see it in the
eyes of his principle every time he ended up back before his desk, bloodied
knuckles and no remorse, while he was informed of his opponent's condition. But
mostly he hated it because over all it reminded him of one man, his father, and
of all things he didn't want to be reminded of his father.
===============================================================================
His eyes followed the lines of his new office from the book case, that held
books he had never and probably would never read, to the decorative gun
cabinet, which held every gun he'd ever had the privilege of firing and a few
he wouldn't mind to get his hands on. He'd only had an office once before in
his life when he'd been in charge of a command. Of course, then he'd been on
active duty so he could have counted the amount of times he'd stepped into the
office between his hands, and how many times he'd spent more than a minute or
so with in that office on only one hand.
However, he now sat at his desk and waited. For what he wasn't sure, he'd never
had an office post, and he'd never wanted an office post. So he shifted
forward, noticing the creak in the office chair, and leaned over the desk. He
noticed his desk didn't have a creak when he leaned his weight on it. He
shifted his weight within the chair and listened closely to that tell-tale
creeeaaaakkkkk.
===============================================================================
An hour later Suzaku sat on the floor of his office, the final screw in his
hand. The rest of the pieces were scattered around him in order of
dismantlement and the room was now bare of an office chair. He looked at the
wooden piece in his hand before he scanned over the rest of them as well. He'd
never tried to put a chair back together, but then again, he'd never tried to
take one apart either. He knew how to take a lot of other things apart, most of
which were explosive, but never a chair before.
The door opened suddenly. He turned his head to look up at the guests, the
screw still held up in his hands.
"Major?" The private stood at the door, his hand still at the knob, looking
first to where the Major should have been then down to where the Major was.
"…Major?" There was a bit more apprehension in his voice now.
"Yes?" Suzaku looked up at the private with a bland expression.
"Uhm," the private started as he seemed to try and remember what exactly he had
gone there for. "Uh, Colonel Li Britannia, would like to know if you have made
up your mind about the recruitment offer?"
"Recruitment?" Suzaku repeated. Suzaku hated recruitment assignments, almost
more than his new office. He'd somehow found a way out of it when as a Warrant
Officer he'd had been assigned it more than once. According to his superiors,
he had a good way with people and a nice face to use for recruitment. He didn't
know how they'd ever come to the conclusion after all he'd been proven really
good at was killing people vs. talking it over with them. Then again, he knew
he was good with people on a common everyday level. He was just fucked up
enough to know that unless it was in the context of sex or the mundane he
wouldn't be much of a persuader. He could already imagine some kid asking him
"hey why did you join the military?" He was smart enough to know that an answer
along the lines of, "I'm good at shooting people" wouldn't be age appropriate
nor very kosher.
"Uhm yes." The private looked a little unsure of himself at this point.
"Well…" Suzaku weighed the possibility of good behavior getting him out of this
office sooner and the distinct feeling of nausea at the mere thought of
spending hours talking and smiling and acting like he really wanted to be
there, when he didn't. In the end he figured getting on his new commanding
officer's good side won out—mostly for the fact he wanted his old commanding
officer back. "Yes, well tell her I'd be glad too." …begrudgingly, but for her
with a smile!
"Excellent, Sir. I will inform her immediately." The Private said as he turned
to leave.
"Private," Suzaku stood, retrieving his uniform jacket from the desk.
The Private stopped in his tracks and looked back, alert and ready for orders.
"Sir?"
Suzaku pulled his arm into the first sleeve before pushing his other through
the oposite. "Do you know where I could possibly get a good cup of coffee?" Not
that he needed it, but hated his office—a lot.
"Well, sir, there is a Barnes & Noble down the street."
Suzaku stopped for a moment to think. He was pretty sure he had asked for a
good cup of coffee. "Is there anything else?" he added in a small smile as not
to make the Private seem inadequate.
"Uhm, well let's see, most coffee places are farther downtown, but I think
there's possibly a Denny's nearby."
Barnes & Noble it is!
"Or actually the cafeteria on base here serves coffee!"
He was definitely sticking to Barnes & Noble.
"Thank you, Private." Suzaku said, he plastered the smile over his face as he
reached for his wallet and keys he'd placed within his desk drawer. "You've
been helpful."
"Of course, Sir!" the private beamed before departing.
Suzaku gave a sigh before he looked back at the chair…or at least what used to
be the chair. He wasn't sure if he should try and pick up a new chair or not.
After a minute he wagered that he was indeed going to a book store, and a "how-
to" book was much cheaper than a chair.
===============================================================================
Finding the Barnes and Noble was the easy part, finding a book on how to fix an
office chair hadn't been. Finally after traveling a third time down the same
isle, he decided to go for the coffee instead. Now he found himself standing in
line before the counter and one of the most extensive menus he'd ever seen, in
a Barnes and Noble or any other kind of café. The man in front of him chattered
on to the girl at the counter without any signs of stopping, which suited
Suzaku fine since he really had no clue what he even planned on ordering.
Choice overload was never something he did well with. The man in front of him
moved away a moment later, without much notice from Suzaku.
"I'm going on break. Take over the register for me, Lelouch." The girl chimed,
still much to Suzaku's oblivious nature.
It was a short moment, but Suzaku was still lost, looking up at the menu. Where
the hell was just regular coffee? He didn't really even have a preference to
brand, just a little cream and he was always fine with it.
"Having trouble, soldier?" a deep and low voice asked.
"Oh," Suzaku realized he was up and he still didn't know what he wanted. He
gave a chuckle as he looked down. "Do you guys have just coffee at all?"
The teller was leaned over on to the high counter lazily, his deep amethyst
hued eyes hooded. At the comment, his eyes sprang to life and a smile broke
through the bored expression.
Suzaku couldn't help but smile back as the dark haired boy sat up and faced
him, with such a great smile Suzaku didn't have a choice in the matter.
"I'd imagine you could have just gotten that on base, am I right?" The boy
said. It was presented as a question but had a hint of statement of fact behind
it. Regardless, deep violet eyes sparked with amusement and he stood properly
to face the conversation a half a second later.
"I probably could have." Suzaku reasoned with a shrug of his shoulders.
"But clearly didn't?" The boy continued for him. "Is there a reason behind
that?"
Suzaku couldn't help the smile that stretched across his lips now. He knew this
game, it'd been a while since he'd played, but he was pretty sure he was still
just as good at it. And if memory served him correctly, at one point in time he
was more than good at it. Not in the same way that he was good at his job. His
job was conditions(his broad body type coupled with fast reflexes and hand eye
coordination) meeting more conditioning(that would be his ability to attract
fights rather than avoid them), training(and a lot of it), and expectation(of
his superiors and himself). This, on the other hand, was entirely natural. In
high school, he'd discovered it first with the girls around his age, when he
was looking for friendship. Then with the college girls he'd met on accident.
Then, the most enjoyably, was with some of the other recruits. It had started
out as need and basic depravity, but after a few times, Suzaku had realized how
partial he was to seeing another male writhe under him. After that, of course,
his job had become his sole ambition and constant endeavor. Not that sex had
become something of lesser need, it was just that he no longer had a use for
it, and really in the middle of an attack the ability to pull a sweet smile and
a charming statement out of thin air didn't count for much.
But he wasn't anywhere near a warzone now. So he let the smile linger on his
face a moment longer before he answered. "I really don't like my office." He
said it off handish, but vague enough to hopefully spark inquiry.
"An office, huh?" The man said, a rather sharp flash of interest crossed his
eyes. "Are you an officer yourself?"
Suzaku gave another bright smile. "Yeah, something along those lines," He knew
saying "yeah, I'm only twenty four and already a major," had too much shock
value to be profitable, let alone the fact that he hated to brag, about
anything.
"Hmmm," the young man hummed. "So just a single then?" he snapped back to the
register.
Suzaku smiled and gave a nod. The end of their conversation had ended a bit
sooner for Suzaku's taste but it wasn't like he didn't still have ample
opportunity, and if not today he still knew where to find the boy.
A smile was given to Suzaku under raven strands as the boy pushed the order
into the machine before looking up again. "That will be dollar eighty six."
"Right," Suzaku said as he reached for his wallet. His eyes barely left deep
amethyst.
The boy opened his mouth to speak again to only close it with an abrupt cut
off.
"Hey-" the abrupt cut off of not only the boy but of the new voice, immediately
called for the snap of Suzaku's head to the side. Suzaku wanted to strangle
someone at that point. Before him stood two privates, one of which was being
elbowed in the gut and the other caught mid-salute.
"Major!" the respectful one hollered as his went stiff as a board, and salute
as equally tale tell. The other quickly composed himself and pulled into the
same position. They were new recruits—and Suzaku wanted to kill them both.
"Major?" Suzaku's eyes pulled to the boy. There was confusion for the slightest
second, then, something he really didn't like, resignation. Suzaku wanted to
bang his head against the counter. Now it looked like he had lied to the boy
and they'd just met and he hated the new recruits and he knew it would take a
lot of fixing to get things back to a comfortable friendliness, let alone a
real shot again. A small voice in his head pointed out that it was probably a
good thing he didn't have a gun on him, because if so the two recruits would
have been bleeding out on the floor while he looked up, smiled bright, and
asked the boy to dinner.
He shifted his eyes back to the recruits; they after all were making a scene,
which was the last thing he needed. "We're off base privates, no need for
formalities."
"Yes sir!" the two gave an agonizing shout to add to injury.
He turned his head back to fully look at the boy at the register. He had a
completely different demeanor now, and Suzaku wanted a gun for it. His posture
had turned defensive, but not overly, like Suzaku was a stranger and nothing
like he'd been just moments before. Amethyst eyes were on the register, his
lips in a hard line, and his raven hair cast a shadow over his forehead.
Damn it! Now the boy thought Suzaku was a liar at the best and at the worst a
manwhore if the base here had any reputation connected to it. He didn't know
that for sure yet, but he could have a good guess that this is where a lot of
soldiers came through for one thing or another, and almost every soldier was
eager for some form of contact, not all very honest or honorable. Ergo, Suzaku
now looked like a lying manwhore…great—why the hell did he leave his gun in his
blasted awful office!
Nevertheless, he'd have to attempt a comeback later. The boy was far too
defensive right now and he'd thoroughly blow first impressions at this point.
He would consider giving up completely, but the boy was very attractive and
Suzaku very much liked his sharp wit. The point was that the boy was too much
of what he liked to pass up easily. But he'd have to work on this another day,
when the cards were in his favor, and the impression of lying scum, whore,
conman wasn't so vivid in the boy's mind.
Now he simply handed over his visa and waited patiently as his card was swiped
and he signed the receipt. Behind him, the recruits had broken into their own
comfortable conversation, but the stillness between Suzaku and the boy hadn't
been ruptured.
That didn't stop Suzaku from noticing the long elegant fingers that took the
receipt back, or the brush of dark lashes when he looked down at the signature
before tucking it into the till.
"Thank you," The boy said in a much more reserved tone. His face was kept
emotionless, his eyes no longer made contact, jaw set in a defiant sort of way.
Yes, it would have to be much later before Suzaku was allowed a second chance.
But that didn't mean he had to deepen the bad impression. "You're Welcome."
Amethyst flashed up and Suzaku smiled as eye contact was made. It wasn't a huge
smile, one just big enough to be considered friendly.
He didn't get a smile back. It was clearly a warning, not a glare, the brow
wasn't low enough for that, but it was still a very clear warning. And Suzaku
took it quickly picking up his order number and turning away. A minute later a
girl behind the coffee machine handed Suzaku his cup and he gave a smile as he
noticed that the boy was for sure glaring as he helped the new recruits. Maybe
it wouldn't take as much as he thought to get back to square one.
===============================================================================
His opportunity came sooner than he'd expected it too. After scouring the rows
he'd found a book, he wasn't sure if it would be very helpful but if not he a.
made more money than he ever managed to use(most of the time he was never in
the country so paying for things like rent, car payment, or insurance were all
unneeded. Overall, it seemed like most of his money went to uniform
replacements and first aid kits) and b. he always knew he'd end up returning it
anyway (it after all was a useless a book, besides he hardly ever was in
possession of an apartment let alone a bookcase to put the book in). He took a
sip at his coffee as he looked the book over one last time and started his way
to the register. He stopped as he did.
A grin formed as he looked across the store to the small open area used for the
café, several booths and tables dotted the place. What caught his eyes through
the filled tables was one table with only one occupant. He wagered quickly the
possibility of just leaving without another word, but if he wanted a more
welcoming situation he wasn't sure he was going to get it.
So he took the last swallow of coffee, for good measure and weaved his way over
to the raven haired boy. He sat alone at the table, but perfectly content, with
a book open in front of him and a fork in his hand as he picked at a small
Tupperware bowl of pasta.
"Are you reading out of convenience for the fact you work in a book store, or
is it convenient that you like to read and work in a bookstore?" Suzaku asked
as he approached.
Amethyst eyes looked up for a moment, and for that same moment Suzaku dreaded
the look in those deep hued eyes. Then lenience sparked and, though without a
smile, he answered. "I like to read, and it is convenient that I work in a book
store, but regardless this isn't exactly a pleasant read."
Suzaku's could feel his brow furrow. To him almost nothing was exactly a
pleasant read. Sunday football(playing or watching, but more so with the
playing) was pleasant, swimming was pleasant, early morning hiking was
pleasant, even a particularly brutal hockey game was amazingly more pleasant
than sitting down to read, especially if it was good weather outside.
"I'm studying," A smile broke this time and Suzaku was thankful, for the smile
and the explanation.
Suzaku took it as an invitation also, set his book on the table, and seated
himself, intentionally, on the opposite side of the table. "What are you
studying for?" He inquired.
He'd been warranted another smile. These smiles were different now, much more
reserved and carful than the first. "I have ACT's coming up soon."
Suzaku grinned at that, college age, perfect. He'd be considered college age
himself if not for his chosen profession. He knew a lot of recruits that joined
the army for college specifically; he'd just never had the want or the need. He
was very good at what he did after all.
"Is this your first time taking it?"He asked trying to keep the conversation
up. He had never been much for the academics but if it was a means to an end he
could skim over the topic with enough vigor to hopefully get him to a more
engaging subject.
"No." The boy answered. Suzaku knew his smile grew just a little. The boy was
possibly closer to his age than he'd earlier hopped.
"Have you taken it?" The boy asked. Even better, Suzaku thought, it was the
boys turn to keep up the conversation now.
He shook his head. After all he'd already been portrayed as a liar, anymore
lies could be detrimental, and in his defense he never lied the first time, he
just didn't tell the whole truth. The thought hit him and he gave another shake
of his head.
"I'm a Major, why would I need to?" That's it he told himself, admit up to it,
and you could possibly be forgiven easily.
Or not…the boys face dropped. "I was informed of that." he said rather dry.
Suzaku sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to not tell you."
"Why?" the question was very firmly placed, decided already that the boy wanted
a completely honest answer. Through those amethyst eyes, Suzaku could see a
kind of commanding nature—he wasn't sure how he felt about it either.
"Did you expect me to introduce myself as Major Kururugi?" Suzaku said trying
to sound amused more than anything.
"I specifically asked you your rank." The boy answered, with no amusement at
all.
"In my defense, you asked if I was an officer, which a Major is an officer
rank, and also—"he pointed to the golden oak leaf metal at his uniform. A smile
crept back into his lips.
The boy gave a sigh. "Whom."
Suzaku let his hand back down to the table as he looked at the boy, "whom
what?"
"Whom a Major is of an officers rank. You used the wrong word." The boy said as
he let out a small chuckle. "And I should have seen the insignia, you're
right."
Suzaku wasn't sure if he understood the grammar part but he understood a
chuckle and admittance. "Well thank you then! Though if you had recognized it I
would have been very impressed."
The boy gave a bit wider smile this time. "You said your last name is Kururugi?
Are you—" he trailed off.
"Second generation Japanese," Suzaku finished for him.
"Aw." The boy breathed. Suzaku couldn't help the slight smile it sparked, the
other man managed elegance so easily. "And your first name?"
"Suzaku."
A long thin lipped smile stretched, a sincere one this time, and the boy put
down the fork to extend his hand across the table. "Lelouch."
Suzaku gave in return a particularly warm smile as he lifted his hand. He
changed his mind almost immediately as he was about to shake, instead he slid
his fingers under Lelouch's long pale digits to hold his fingers and run his
thumb over the slight boney knuckles. It was, after all, better to make an
impression than just something other wise generic. He heard as Lelouch's breath
caught in his throat, and Suzaku eyes flickering to his reaction. He gave good
reaction to surprises, good to know for further reference. Amethyst eyes were
focused on their hands for just a moment longer before they adjusted upwards
and Suzaku was quick to make eye contact. Pale lips pressed together, Suzaku
wasn't sure how to read into the actions, but from what he could tell it wasn't
something bad. Nervous most likely, anxious (oh god he could only hope),
surprised a possibility, but it was most certainly not a glare and he in no way
looked scared of him.
Lelouch's—Suzaku already loved that name—eyes fleeted down to the book, and he
pulled his hand from Suzaku's loose hold.
"Black and Decker Complete Photo Guide to Home Repair," He read the title
aloud. "You bought a house or something?"
Suzaku laughed. "No, I took apart my office chair."
Lelouch gave a light hearted chuckle as well. "On purpose?"
"Yeah," Suzaku continued to chuckle. "Well taking it apart proved easier than
putting it back together." He lifted his arm to scratch the back of his head
with a sheepish grin.
"I'd imagine." Lelouch leaned forward, his arm rested on the table and he
tucked his chin into his palm all with a fluid motion. "Why were you ever
taking it apart in the first place?"
"It had a squeak." He explained. "It was annoying and I wanted to fix it so…
well I didn't quite manage that."
Lelouch gave a wide smile and another breath of chuckles. "So you figured you
could fix it with a book?"
"Well, I wanted coffee too, and a book is cheaper than a new chair." He held up
the book he picked for further inspection. "And it's even a picture guide as
well, so maybe it will be double the help."
"I doubt that book will help you much." Lelouch said like he was trying to make
it a light letdown.
Suzaku started to flip through it. "I don't know…it looks pretty
comprehensive."
Pale fingers spidered over the edge and pulled the book down to the table top.
Suzaku gave a smile to amethyst eyes. "It's a home repair guide." The owner of
those same eyes explained.
"And I broke something, so it should tell me how to fix it." Suzaku reiterated.
"You took it apart an office chair, correct?"
Suzaku looked up from the book. "Well yeah." His face was blank, because his
mind was black. He'd already told Lelouch that's what he did. He'd laughed
about it, then Lelouch had laughed about it, then they had switched subjects to
the book. Maybe Suzaku wasn't as good at this as he used to be…
"So it's like a puzzle." Lelouch said as his brow lowered a fraction of an inch
and a smile Suzaku couldn't quite place stretched on to his lips. "All you have
to do now is put it back together."
"I'm not very good with puzzles." Suzaku said trying to sound a little less
lost than he really was. He gave an inward sigh, and they had started out so
strong. He wasn't even sure where he had muffed it up at.
Lelouch's smile widened just a touch. "But I am."
Suzaku couldn't help the bright exuberant smile that came next as he leaned
across the table farther. "How long till you're off?"
Lelouch stood fluidly and flipped the study guide shut as he did all with the
same distinct smile. "I'm off now." He shut the Tupperware, the pasta still
half eaten, and slipped it into the messenger bag Suzaku hadn't noticed was
hanging off of his chair.
Suzaku stood as well. He wasn't sure what to say so he didn't say anything. It
was in Lelouch's ball park now. Not that he wasn't ecstatic that Lelouch wanted
to come and help him, but at the same time, this was going a lot faster than
Suzaku ever planned. He'd thought that he might talk to him for a while, they
could get friendly, then tomorrow he'd come back get coffee around the same
time and flirt again as he paid, he'd possibly let their hands touch as he
handed him his card and they'd get closer and that would be that. Possibly by
Thursday he could score a number, then a day or two later a date. But
apparently Lelouch had decided to skip all that and they were going to fix his
chair, now, like a weird almost date—right now.
Lelouch pulled the light jacket on with the messenger bag over one shoulder.
Suzaku picked up the book on the table to only have it slipped from his hand as
Lelouch walked past. Lelouch discarded it on a random table of books, one of a
completely different subject than home improvement by the way, and Suzaku
followed him to the doors.
As Suzaku slipped his arm to hold the door open and Lelouch gave an abrupt
stop. Suzaku mentally wanted to kick himself. He always did that. He had
trouble keeping girls and boys straight, especially the fact that one
appreciated it when he did things like held the door and the other didn't. Why
couldn't they both just like the same things! He stopped, grimaced, and waited
for a scolding.
Lelouch didn't turn just leaned back with a slight twist of his hips and turned
his head to the side. "Are civilians allowed on base?"
Suzaku had to think for a moment before he could pull an answer out. He wasn't
sure if he should still expect a scolding or not but he did know if he didn't
answer that would warrant one for sure. "Uhm, yes, well you're allowed in my
office at the least."
"Aw." He said and leaned forward. "And thank you, for the door that is."
Suzaku smiled. He had a feeling they were going to get along just fine.
===============================================================================
"I thought you said you were bad at puzzles." Lelouch said as he laughed. He
leaned against the desk drawers while Suzaku sat against the wall opposite to
him, a half made chair in front of him.
"Well after elbowing you I feel obligated to be the one that fixes." He said. A
screw driver was in hand as he twisted another screw into place.
"If you hadn't have stopped me when you did!"
Suzaku looked up. "You were putting the arm rests on the bottom."
"No." Lelouch said, "I was redesigning." he made sure to make it a point.
Suzaku gave a smile. This endeavor, at first, had seemed a little weird and
possibly a bad idea, but now—well it had turned into an adventure very quickly.
He learned a lot, about Lelouch and his office, in the process as well. One of
them had just been reiterated to him. Lelouch never liked to be told he was
wrong, or bad, at something. Teasing was fine, to a point, but Suzaku doubted
that any real accusation would go over well.
"You told me you were good at puzzles." Suzaku said.
"I am and home improvement, which is what that was."
Suzaku threw him a look. "Because when I sit down at my desk I want to be able
to know I have arm rests they just face the wrong direction."
"Its modern!" Lelouch shot back. "You're a Major; you need to be on the cutting
edge of fashion."
"What part of this office really looks modern?"
"You told me you've been here for a day and a half." Lelouch reasoned with him
as he lulled his head against the wood to capture him in those amethyst eyes.
"You just haven't had time to bring it up to speed."
"I should have stuck with the book." Suzaku mumbled as he moved on to the next
screw.
A well earned kick in the shin made him almost drop the screw driver.
"Ow!" Suzaku said.
Lelouch gave him a pointed glare. There was a conveyed and effective, "I'm so
much better than any book and you better remember that," though the glare. But
within a few moments the glare was gone and his eyes roamed to the window above
Suzaku's head. Suzaku glanced up from his work. Mostly for the fact he enjoyed
the view, but also because of the silence. It wasn't awkward but enough that
Suzaku had wondered what Lelouch was occupied with.
Lelouch didn't look down as he spoke in a mellow, even tone. "It's a lot later
than I thought it was."
Abruptly Suzaku noticed as well. He looked around his office, the fact of the
dimming light and soft tones draining all color from the room making it
clearer. How had it gotten so late?
"Wow," he breathed, before he let a chuckle slip. "Everyone else has probably
already gone home."
Lelouch hummed a reply.
Suzaku finished up with the particular screw and set the half chair—thing
aside. In pointing out the time, Lelouch had signaled that it possibly was
about time he headed home. If nothing else, he wanted to not have a chair
between them for a final conversation.
"How did you become a Major?"
Suzaku froze his eyes darted to the floor and he felt his breath still. This
was an unexpected question, but even more, this wasn't a good question. A
question he wasn't supped to have gotten for a very long time, let alone had to
answer for longer, if he could manage to stall long enough. Then again, Lelouch
didn't seem normal. He should have foreseen something along these lines, but he
didn't and now he was left with deflection.
"I worked my way through the ranks, just like anyone else."
A delicate eyebrow arched. "You've worked your way through the ranks at your
age?"
Suzaku gave a wide smile as he stood. He knew that at this point he had sent
his own message with the action, but this subject needed to be killed quickly.
He offered his hand down to Lelouch.
His raven hair splayed across his forehead, only added to the dimming colors of
the room, and two bright amethyst stone eyes peered up, still looking for an
answer that wouldn't come anytime soon. Suzaku offered his hand closer. Lelouch
had flicked his eyes to it before going back up to Suzaku. Answer first
apparently.
"You really don't even know how old I am." Suzaku pointed out.
Lelouch stretched a smile. "That wasn't an answer, Suzaku."
"We've just met." Suzaku explained as he gave a look to the clock. Eight
fifteen was a lot later than he'd expected to keep Lelouch. He didn't like the
thought. If they stayed together for much longer it could dip into something
Suzaku wasn't interested in…at least, not at this point. He knew if they had
sex tonight, tomorrow he wouldn't call him and he wouldn't go back to the
bookstore to get coffee there again anytime soon. He just knew it, he'd done it
before, several times, and he knew how it worked. He had at least a year here,
and because of that he didn't want this to be a one nighter. He wanted casual
yes, but not a fling. If nothing else while here he could enjoy companionship.
"Alright, I concede, but I want an answer at some point." Lelouch said with a
huff.
Suzaku smiled at that. It implied there would be at the least a second meeting.
He offered his hand closer for a final time. He was pleased as he felt
Lelouch's long hand thread over his fingers. Once he had a good grasp he pulled
and lifted the boy to his feet.
Suzaku imagined the gesture and motion being rather chivalrous and, if he dared
say it, elegant, until Lelouch tried to stand. A fumble of feet had ensued and
within that same moment Suzaku realized he was apparently the only coordinated
one and caught Lelouch's weight before he pulled him to a stable stance. What
he didn't notice was that in the process he had pulled the boy to him as well.
So upon looking up, he was met with wide deep violet eyes. Suzaku recognized
the look immediately He'd gotten it earlier that day at the book store when
he'd touched Lelouch's hand.
This was indeed the same look, concentrated into deep violet, but it was so
much more intense this time. There was nervousness, for sure, and anxiousness,
but this time there was fear, just enough of it though that it drew Suzaku in
farther. He leaned forward his hand slid up from the small of Lelouch's back.
They shared breath for a moment. Suzaku could feel his eyes on instinct start
to hood. He felt Lelouch's fingers fidget at his shoulders and he forced his
own eyes open. The boy's breath had already hitched, his fingers dug into his
sleeves, and his eyes were still very wide. Suzaku forced himself to slowly
pull his hand up to cup around Lelouch's neck with painstaking slowness. He
debated for a moment longer. He could have stopped here and there would be
minimal consequences. He wasn't sure what Lelouch was afraid of, but he didn't
want to make it worse. They had tomorrow, possibly even the rest of the week.
They didn't need to rush this quite yet.
He didn't have time to pull away though as Lelouch ground his fingers into his
sleeve and lurched forward to crash their mouths together. Suzaku let out a
rather undignified and unpracticed yelp as he was forced to yet again catch the
uncoordinated boy before he pitched them both to the ground. He didn't even
have time to close his eyes, because of which he caught a glimpse of eyes
squeezed shut before he slipped his own shut—kissing with eyes open was after
all just weird as fuck. He pulled the boy closer and started to move. He was
surprised that the most pleasant parts of the kiss weren't actually of the kiss
itself. He loved Lelouch's hands, one at his collar, still fidgety but
pleasantly stroking at the skin just under his throat and playing at the button
there as well. His other arm had gone around Suzaku's shoulders, his long
fingers fisted in his shirt there. He adored the way he pressed the side of his
nose next to Suzaku's own. His shoulders, probably the most pleasant, would go
from relaxed to strained very quickly as Suzaku pressed the kiss harder.
Lelouch took a step closer his hips brushed forward and Suzaku's eyes shot
wide.
He broke the kiss with a jolt and forced the boy a few inches from him. Upon
retrospection, Suzaku would have scolded his actions. The boy was very slight
and completely opposite to Suzaku in almost every way, which didn't give Suzaku
right to push Lelouch around, especially for the fact he had a hunch that
Lelouch wouldn't appreciate it very much. But this wasn't retrospect, so at
that moment Suzaku just stopped their actions from progressing any farther than
necessary. The last thing he needed was to have to farther clean his already
drastically destroyed office.
He felt Lelouch's breath at his cheek before he ever heard the words. "I have
to go, I have somewhere to be."
Suzaku gave a hazy nod. He repeated the line in his head several times; the boy
was right after all. He did have to leave, and Suzaku was far too on edge at
the moment to be this close to him. "Alright," he spoke soft and went to turn
to the door.
"Wait," Lelouch hand stopped him, his pale fingers at his arm.
Suzaku moved his eyes to meet Lelouch's. His hands still at Lelouch's hips
tightened just enough he knew but he prayed Lelouch didn't notice. He'd didn't
need the boy to think he was already exhibiting signs of possessiveness. He
quickly pushed that thought away as well. Thoughts of possession led to
actually possession. He didn't need that. He needed to keep things together,
but casual, and easily left behind when that is what would be required of him.
"Hang on." Lelouch breathed before twisting he managed to keep Suzaku's hold on
him but enough he could reach the desk next to them. His fingers scrambled
their way around for a moment before he turned back with a post it (Suzaku
wasn't sure where came from) and a pen (Suzaku knew exactly where came from—it
had been free). Lelouch scrawled something down quickly before he presented the
paper a moment later to Suzaku.
Suzaku looked down at it and as reluctant as he was to let go of Lelouch he did
to take the Post-It.
"Text me tomorrow." Lelouch said.
Suzaku gave a nod. "I will." It was a promise. He made a point that he'd have
to remember to go get a phone in the morning. The thought crossed that he had a
very old cell phone he left in Taiwan—they'd finally gotten a hold of him about
it three countries later.
"I have to leave." Lelouch said again.
"Alright." Suzaku release him but kept a hand at the small of Lelouch's back as
he reached across the desk to the messengers bag.
"Thank you," the small murmur was pressed into a small kiss Lelouch gave Suzaku
before he let Suzaku open the door and left.
Upon his departure, Suzaku gave a sigh and turned back to his office. It was a
mess from floor to ceiling. They had started with the chair and ended with it
as well. Between then everything from a critique of book selection to a
demonstration on how to take a rifle apart had taken place until they had just
parted after all things as a kiss, and not a normal kiss either. Suzaku had to
lean against his desk at that thought. Damn that boy was good at kissing,
nervous, but really good at it. He wasn't sure how long either of them would be
able to hold out for sex.
===============================================================================
"Lelouch! Lelouch!" Rivals called out and waved enthusiastically over to
Lelouch.
Lelouch finished the button at his Ashford uniform as he started over to his
friend. He had in no way meant to spend that much time with Suzaku, but after
he'd been in his presence it had been hard to talk himself into leaving.
Overall, his goal had been achieved. He had a lot riding on this including his
reputation. He would have to find a way to get what he wanted without having
Suzaku find out exactly who he was. The small moments had been easy to hide; it
was the long run that he'd have to do some serious work for.
"Hey man! What has been up? I've been trying to text you for the past hour, you
said you got off of work at four and Shirley and Milly wanted to go to the mall
so I was going to invite you to come too." Rivals drawled on as Lelouch passed
him on his way to the elevators. They had a match to make, which meant no time
to dawdle in the lobby over something so mundane. Besides Rivals never shut up
regardless.
Nevertheless, Rivals words shocked Lelouch back into the world he belonged to.
After spending the afternoon with someone who hadn't spent an afternoon at the
mall in probably years it was a shock to have to come back to earth and realize
it was what he had done just a few days ago.
Rivals followed him and they both stepped into the elevator compartment. "So?"
he pressed.
"So what?" Lelouch asked as he turned to shoot Rivals a casual oblivious look.
The last thing he needed was for this one to find out what he was up to.
"So where have you been all afternoon? You know Shirley has it for you bad."
Rivals whined.
Lelouch checked his uniform again. The uniform was important, the older he
looked the harder the win would be, he loved it when he was underestimated
enough to get a five minute win, and he wanted to get this over quickly, he
still had to get home in time to call and asked if he could pull another shift
tomorrow at the same time. He knew that being at the café tomorrow would be
needed just in case Suzaku decided he wanted to see him again.
"I mean really if you ever want to get a lay out of that girl you got to step
up your game!" Apparently Rivals had just kept going even without Lelouch's
attention.
"I'm not that into Shirley." Lelouch said rather dry. "And what's the big deal?
what does it matter where I was?"
Rivals gave him an incredulous look. "You weren't with another girl, were you?
Cause seriously man, you need to start telling your homies about this. It
wasn't Kallen was it?"
Lelouch gave a sigh. If he didn't answer him, Rivals would be spreading rumors
he didn't want spread. Then those rumors would reach Shirley and he'd have to
deal with a weepy needy girl everyday for the next four days at school and
possibly even the weekend if he got rounded up into the Student Council trip.
"I was at the base."
"Wo, what?" Rivals did a double take. "You mean the Military base?"
The elevator dinged and Lelouch stepped forward to exit. "Is there another kind
of base in the city?"
"What in heaven's name were you doing at the military base?" Rival yelled.
Lelouch gave a roll of his eyes as he continued thorough thick crowd to the
back rooms, where his match was to be held. He knew he'd have to answer though
and a right at that moment a lie just didn't seem appropriate.
"I was working on a lay." He called back just before he opened the door and
Rivals knew conversation was over from the glare Lelouch placed back at him as
they entered.
***** Can't get you off My Mind *****
Because it was a dream, he couldn't just run. Because it was a dream, he was
forced to stay, to stand, to watch. Because it was a dream, he was just as
disgusted with his actions as he had been in life. Because it was a dream, and
one he'd had often enough over the past few weeks, he knew there was no
fighting it. Because he knew it by heart now, he knew the blood at his sleeves
wasn't real and that the bodies at his feet weren't really reaching for him,
but that didn't stop the revulsion, and he doubted it ever would.
He woke with nothing but a pair of sweats on his legs. The cold air wasn't what
shocked him awake as he found himself sitting up, staring at the blank opposite
wall of his new apartment. He calmed his breathing before looking around the
room. The only thing within it was the blow up mattress he had borrowed from
the base store-house (he'd found out in the process they had the most random
shit there) and the military issue duffle bag thrown into the corner. He rolled
to the side, hands fiddling to find the old pocket watch he'd left with his
wallet and keys on the floor. The time was four fifty seven and from the lack
of light in the room his guess was that was in the am hours. He lay back with a
sigh. He didn't have to be at work till eight, several long hours away.
He lulled his head to the closet door was open to reveal his uniform hanging
up. He only owned one because before this time all he ever needed was one.
Under that in a black duffle bag, not the standard military issue, was what he
was used to wearing. Primarily the cloths he would wear were black tight
fitting and easy to move in, the body armor was engineered the same way. Really
it just came down to being as efficient as possible. He rarely had to be even
covert, that was the CIA's job after all, but he was prepared nonetheless. He
smiled at the thought, Gino had always laughed at the idea of the CIA. As much
as the two separate entities hated each other, they worked together a lot, and
it was no secret that if one of them did get discharged the CIA would have
several job offers awaiting, followed quickly by FBI-but really they were
respectable for the most part, and actually open with their affairs, where's
the fun in that?
Suzaku stared up at the white washed ceiling. Bismarck had made it clear he
didn't want Suzaku applying for a retirement, and Suzaku made it clear that he
wouldn't be. That didn't mean thought about what would happen if he'd gotten a
discharge instead. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, regardless if it was
an honorable one or not. He guessed that he'd probably take a job offer from
another government organization, but at the same time, he didn't really want to
work anywhere but in the Army.
He gave a sigh before he pulled himself up to stand. He couldn't remember the
last time he hadn't had to sleep in an outfit he could be ready for anything
for, so upon arrival home (he wasn't sure if that was the right term even. He
was American so he guessed he could call the states the closest he had to a
home), he'd tried to think what a normal person wore to sleep in on an average
night. That had turned up empty so he tried to think what he used to wear. In
high school, it had been nothing but a pair of boxers. The idea had been
intriguing, but he liked to think he'd moved on from that point, so he'd found
the pair of sweat pants buried deep in his duffle bag and gone to bed, not a
huge improvement, but still was an improvement nonetheless.
He was running into that problem a lot over the last three days. The very first
had been with the apartment. He had been offered military housing, but turned
it down. The housing itself was always very nice, but there he always ran into
the married men (with or without children, overall most with) or the recruits
in college or just—not people like him. He preferred off base as odd as it was
to say or think for someone's whose life consisted of the military.
He ambled his way into the kitchen as he brought a hand up to his head. It was
way too early for this kind of behavior and he'd gotten too little sleep
between moving what little he had in and the ever new incoming dreams. He found
his way to the refrigerator and opened it only to remember he didn't actually
own any food. He gave a sigh and shut the fridge. The mail he'd thrown on the
counter the night before stared back up at him. With another drawn out sigh of
exhaustion, he reached for it. The first was a little bit of a relief, from the
storage room he rented—he couldn't even remember where-they had gotten his
request for his stuff, all three boxes of it and were sending it over. The next
was from Gino, a smile crept on for that, complete with a picture of the tall
smiling man and himself. On the other side of a Russian postcard was a short,
'The new guys no fun and you owe me a beer when you get back for the whole
mess.' He looked to see a couple of bare plain magnets on the fridge and posted
the postcard, letter, and picture up there. A heavy weighted paper envelope
next contained a letter of thanks for accepting the post, signed by Lieutenant
Colonel Cornelia Li Britannia. He tossed it back on the counter. He stopped at
the last letter. The post mark date was from two weeks prior—when he'd been
given his official notice of transfer—and the address was to the base. He
pursed his lips athe return address.
He left the letter there on the counter untouched, unopened, no desire to read
it.
Instead he took one last look to the silver pocket watch for the time and went
into his room to find some gym cloths. It would only take a minute to dig his
laptop out from the bottom of the closet with the rest of his equipment and
Google a 24-Hour Fitness Gym nearby.
===============================================================================
He wasn't sure whether or not if it was because he was bisexual that he tore
through his closet and found absolutely nothing to wear while in want of
something nicer to wear. He knew it was because he was in the army that there
was indeed nothing for him to wear, but that was an entirely different story
all together.
So in the end he'd had to settle for a dark navy button up and a pair of
slacks. Thankfully he still owned a nice vest, Suzaku was sure belonged to a
very nice suit—though the suit was unaccounted for—he slipped the black vest on
and buttoned it, hoping it made him look a bit classier. Mostly it instilled
the want for a tie, which he didn't' have unless it was in beige or army green,
both of which went to well his uniform.
Suzaku wasn't sure exactly how Lelouch preferred anything from how Suzaku
dressed to the place to eat. In the end, Suzaku had just decided that just
picking someplace and taking Lelouch there would be the best option. Basically
the same way he'd just worn whatever he could find and hoped Lelouch would like
it on him. Besides it wasn't like this was their first meeting or his first
date or anything. The night before had gone more than accordingly and he'd even
gotten a kiss out of it.
Suzaku stopped at that, hands frozen as they reached for the wallet on the
dresser.
Sex wasn't far off in either of their minds and he knew it.
As he shook the thoughts away, looked up to the mirror before him, and finished
with the vest and checking himself in the mirror ever three seconds. But he ran
a comb through his unruly hair in hopes—and failed hopes—that they could
somehow magically control the unruliness into a more suitable look. He'd never
actually been a big fan of the military cut, and because of it when it was no
longer required of him he didn't have it.
But Suzaku had always been clean shaven so as he glanced back into the mirror,
sighed, and trudging into his bathroom to find his razor.
Fifteen minutes later, smelling of after shave, having checked himself in the
mirror aging, fretted over the prospects of sex for another minute and a half,
changed his shirt, deciding he didn't like the new pick and changed back to his
original shirt, checked his reflection again and finally made it tin to the
kitchen.
As he glanced at the clock on the stove he at first didn't realize shrugging it
off as he looked for his apartment keys. The second glance though made him
sputter a few swear words and he left quickly—only to return before the door
had clicked shut to try and find his cell phone. Once out the door, with
everything he'd ever need and looking as well mannered and pristine a he could
get himself, he came to the conclusion that civilian life was hard.
===============================================================================
Suzaku thanked the cab driver as he got out on to the sidewalk. Once out of the
car, Suzaku stopped surveying his surroundings for a moment, shoving his hands
in his pockets and neck craning.
When Suzaku spotted him, he almost wasn't sure it was the right person. He
looked so–scrawny wasn't the right word and yet small wasn't either—vulnerable
was the closest he figured he could get. It was strange and yet it wasn't, like
he'd seen Lelouch like this before, though Suzaku hadn't the slightest idea
where the idea of that had even come from. Then the light, well a light,
spilled out from the alley way, immediately illuminating the edges around the
other mans form, and Suzaku knew exactly where he'd gotten that impression
from.
He stopped, rooted to the cement under his feet at that moment as violet eyes
lifted and Suzaku was rushed through the image of very different colored eyes,
Eyes that had shown like leaves in spring, but with a halo so similar to
Lelouch's –only the light had been hot, and unlike Lelouch's pale skin, this
image of pale had been tainted, dripping black and red to the floor. Suzaku was
frozen. The numb extortion of his senses kicking In as his ears buzzed and the
hair on his arms and neck stood on end.
A smile broke on Lelouch's face, not as bright or as cheery as most, but it was
enough and the image was shattered, the fear of monsters chased back under the
bed. And with the last blow, completely pulling Suzaku from his daze Lelouch
spoke. "Hey,"
"Hey, Lelouch!" Suzaku said, before that smile could falter as he approached
the other man. He cleared his throat, tugging at his sleeves I n the same
moment.
"Suzaku," the other said as always with the same elegant air as he bowed his
head just a touch in greeting.
Suzaku came to his side placing a tentive hand at the others back as he
gestured to the restraint. "Shall we?" Suzaku couldn't stop his eyes as they
roved over his counterpart. Checking for signs if Lelouch even realized what
had just happened or not. Suzaku also threw a glance over his shoulder to the
alleyway, making sure that the light that had just shut off wasn't the same…
His was satisfied as he saw the dull artificial light flood the narrow way
again as a door to one of the buildings was opened. Suzaku's eyes returned to
Lelouch.
With little to set a standard on, Suzaku wasn't sure if the other had dressed
up or just always found a way to look comfortable and nice in whatever he wore.
Suzaku had a hunch that may just be it, but as he took in the slim fitting dark
shirt and pristine dark wash jeans with an upturn of a starting smile. Suzaku
wonder if it was just a natural talent or if Lelouch just had a very close
sister.
"You're late." Lelouch mused, a light smile still gracing his face.
"I had difficulties with my hair." Suzaku admitted. He held the door, hoping
Lelouch was still partial to the extra care, as they reached the entrance.
Lelouch chuckled, a hand, long and pale, coming up over his mouth. "You don't
say?" He glanced back as Suzaku followed him into the lit reception area.
"Well, I—I don't actually think I see a difference."
"Because there isn't one to see, and that was the difficulty." Suzaku said.
He'd earned a smile and as the hostess perked up, asking how many there would
be, it took Suzaku a moment to tear his eyes away long enough to answer her.
===============================================================================
"I speak French."
Their food had arrived, some time ago actually, though it wasn't being eaten
very fast as they chatted, or at least Lelouch did. Suzaku sat back in his
chair, listening as he took a sip from the glass in his hand. He wasn't forcing
Lelouch to hold up the conversation, it was becoming apparent the other man
could do that without any encouragement at all. It was a notion that hadn't
occurred to Suzaku yet. Upon their first meeting, Lelouch had spoken only the
minimum, and even at Suzaku's office, there had been a sense of reluctance.
Now, whatever had happened to the other had changed that as Lelouch went on
asking questions some requiring answers and others completely rhetorical.
"And you?" now was the moment for one of those questions, and those deep eyes
would turn to Suzaku. As they seemed to do Suzaku found himself pinned down
with that stare, the answer expected.
And Suzaku, found that as of yet he could not refuse the other man. "Several
languages, though Japanese is the only one I'm fluent in." He also had a hunch
Lelouch would probably make a very good interrogator if it ever came down to
it.
A shapely eyebrow arched as a smile slid on to thin lips, "Not English as
well?"
"I blunder my way through it." Japanese had been the language he'd primarily
learned at birth, upon his father's insistence of course. "As you stated I have
little to no accent, so I guess I do pretty well,"
"But not your favored language apparently?" Lelouch pressed. Suzaku had noticed
that already—if the other man wanted to know something he wouldn't stop till he
learned it. Stubborn.
Suzaku smiled. "No, not particularly," and on second thought he continued.
"Though, I'm not much for words as far as the prospect goes." Sucks pulled his
hand up from the table scratching at his neck a bit. As far as impressing
Lelouch, Suzaku doubted that this was a great attempt, but it was still true,
and Suzaku would rather tell the truth.
But when Suzaku looked up he was met with not scrutinizing eyes, but deep,
curious, and very violet eyes.
"Interesting." Lelouch breathed, before breaking the eye contact to take
another bite of his food. "And the others?" Lelouch inquired further, voice
more causal now than before, not as contemplative as the first statement.
Suzaku leaned forward, making sure to avoid letting his elbows rest, setting
his glass down. "I'm well enough that I can get what I need when I need it."
A spark in those eyes again told Suzaku Lelouch knew there was more to the
story, but like the very intelligent human being he was proving to be, he let
the matter lie. Though Lelouch kept the small, sly smile on his face, his eyes
narrow just a bit, but not in any form of suspicion or anger. . "Yes, indeed
interesting," he murmured before starting out on a new avenue. "Do you like
chess, at all?"
Suzaku debated, and as always reverted to the truth. "Not in the slightest," he
chuckled. He was a simple man, he got orders and he saw them through, and he
was never one for being the one calling the shots, having to mourn for the lost
that were his fault was never something Suzaku enjoyed.
He earned another smile, though this one much different, almost abashed. "Would
you play, if I asked?" Lelouch's voice was of the same. It was of the same
brand of oozing confidence only quieter now, distilled as Lelouch's eyes
wondered their way around the table before returning to Suzaku.
"Absolutely." Suzaku answered.
A smile, small and thin stretched on Lelouch's face, making Suzaku suck in a
deep breath. "I would really like that." Lelouch went on.
Suzaku looked back down, his fingers fidgeting with the closest eating utensil.
"When ever you like," Suzaku said looking up, catching that eye contact again,
and losing his sense in those same eyes, so vivid in color. Suzaku was pretty
sure that as those eyes were on him, he'd do anything for Lelouch. He was also
surprised that those same eyes hadn't hypnotized Lelouch into getting a
boyfriend before Suzaku had ever come around. "I'll play with you," Suzaku
chuckled, "but I'll probably lose,"
Lelouch grinned, this time a little more coy as he himself leaned back into his
chair, a hand, long and elegant, coming up to his mouth, but not to cover it.
"You like being outside, don't you?"
Suzaku's skin color was probably answer enough, but he gave a nod. "Prefer it,
actually."
"I had thought you would." Lelouch murmured, his hand coming forward now, those
long fingers at the stem of his glass moving up and down the smooth surface of
the glass. His eyes were downcast though, thoughts occupying Lelouch's mind
elsewhere.
Suzaku was about to say something when Lelouch looked up again, and Suzaku's
mind seized, intent to hear whatever Lelouch would lay before him.
"It's a bit cliché, but if you would be up for it, there are chess tables at
the park, and the mornings are actually quite lovely there, would you like to
go sometime?"
It sounded a bit more formal than Suzaku was comfortable with, and because of
that he placed the boy in a suspicious look. "Are you asking me on a date,
Lelouch Lamprouge?" A jesting smile was already creeping its way onto Suzaku's
face.
That had earned Suzaku another smile and this time one that Suzaku was very
much sure he could take a shinning too. It was an easy smile, not as calculated
as the others, not large, or small, just natural. Suzaku leaned forward. Both
of their food he was sure was long forgotten at this point. The need for food
had been tossed away in hopes for something better. It was fascinating what
attraction did to humans.
"Well," Lelouch started with a flash of mischievous eyes. "I am trying to take
advantage of you, Mr. Kururugi." He looked away innocently and lifted the glass
to his lips to take a quick, casual sip.
Suzaku gasped, "Taking advantage of an American soldier?"
Lelouch finally sat forward as well, letting his chin rest over his laced
fingers, and quite purposefully placing his elbows at the table. "You see, my
plans are to seduce you." He said as if he were a professor leaning over his
desk to better explain his theory.
"I knew you were trouble." Suzaku drawled, but didn't move from the table. "Me
and my office chair are in for the worst."
With a quick smile, Lelouch arched a finely shaped eyebrow as he continued,
"Even after I've told you my plans? Shouldn't you be fleeing at this point?"
"Oh, I kind of already knew about your plans," Suzaku looked off into the
distance. "It was something about the way you kissed me last night."
"Do I get a kiss tonight as well?" Lelouch inquired. It was a quick subject
jump, but not an unwelcome one.
Suzaku glanced down, eye contact made again along with the little spark that
attended it. If they weren't in a public place, Suzaku had no doubt they would
be kissing already. "I don't think asking for permission makes a very good
seducer."
Lelouch smiled that same coy smile again. "I have unique methods." His smile
just widened. "But they always work."
Suzaku was sure of that as well. Lelouch was quite possibly the embodiment of
confidence, and it was indeed very becoming. He had a grace to his movements,
Suzaku wasn't sure where he had picked up, but it was effective, drawing out
the moments and drawing Suzaku's eyes to ever precise gesture. In fact, precise
was probably the best word to describe the other man. Everything, from wording
to gestures, movements, tone all of it seemed calculated to the smallest
detail.
"I am though." Lelouch added a moment later.
Suzaku perked. "Seducing me? Most definitely." He chuckled.
There wasn't as much amusement as Lelouch answered. "…no." He reached forward.
Suzaku was about to pull one of his hands off the table before he stopped—a
long finger making contact over his knuckle. Lelouch stroked lightly over the
skin, his eyes down at the same dark tan hand. The contrast between the wide
almost brutish hand of Suzaku and Lelouch's, long, elegant, alabaster skin, and
Lelouch was making it look like an art as he lightly ran his finger tip of
Suzaku's middle finger over his palm, tracing along the veins, and retracing to
Suzaku's middle finger and stroking down the digit with gently light strokes.
Suzaku had to swallow hard to keep himself from lunging over the table to
Lelouch's. For seemingly harmless intimacy, Lelouch was doing a very good job
of it, and it was very much having an effect on Suzaku. He hated that he had
chose a restaurant at that moment. He should have invited the other boy over to
his apartment, where—well never mind there really was no furniture yet, but he
could have at least kissed him there, pulled him to the air mattress in his
room and—it wasn't very romantic but it was better than watching Lelouch tease
him in public.
"I have classes in the mornings, but on a weekend sometime, I really would be
pleased to go to the park with you." Those eyes flicked up, to make a very
fleeting, but charged contact with Suzaku.
Lelouch had been right, he was very good at seduction or at least he was right
at that moment. The passing glances weren't so intoxicating the night before,
but they hadn't been in public the night before. Suzaku had to sigh, it was
just his luck that the one moment he wanted to jump the boy there was ten other
tables of people around them.
Suzaku smiled, beaming. "That would be great."
A small smile, but they didn't seem to come to Lelouch's lips as easily as they
did to Suzaku's, and because of that Suzaku took it as another brownie point in
his favor. "I have this thing this weekend, but next weekend I…" He trailed off
as Suzaku leaned forward.
"I already told you whenever you want me to go I will."
Suzaku flipped his hand letting Lelouch fingers tickle at the inside of his
palm. It gave him enough leverage to tickle Lelouch's palm as well. Suzaku
earned himself another smile and a bit of a blush. Eyes a bit too rich and dark
to be placed as solely lavender fleeted up, accompanying the red stain of his
cheeks. Suzaku gave a wide smile in response. Lelouch looked away, down at
their so close to being interlocked hands.
"Can I count on a date the Saturday morning after this weekend then?" Lelouch
said, recovering from his blush rather quickly to square Suzaku in the eye
again.
"Of course." Suzaku smiled accordingly.
Lelouch's fingers started to move again, this time running the pads of his
three middle fingers along the inside of Suzaku's palm, so light they left a
bit of a tingle. Lelouch looked down, focusing probably on the way Suzaku was
so easily handing himself over. Suzaku, in turn, wondered to himself how he had
ever thought they wouldn't be this charged for each other in public.
Suzaku cleared his throat attempt to clear his thoughts as well. "So where are
you going this weekend?"
Lelouch didn't look up. "It's a school trip." It was an off handed answer,
tossing aside the topic immediately upon its arrival. He looked up, bright
amethyst sending a shiver through Suzaku's spine as they flashed in the dim
light. "Do you want to get out of here?"
Within a few second Suzaku had flagged down the nearest waiter for the check.
===============================================================================
Lelouch had him against the wall with a surprising burst of energy and even
more surprising surge of—Suzaku would call it want but it seemed more like a
need. Whatever it was if was certainly driving him as Lelouch thrust his hand
through Suzaku curls and connected their lips, crashing their bodies against
the bricks of the narrow alley way. As lewd and as obscene as this was Suzaku
couldn't help but find it arousing, wrapping his arms around Lelouch's
shoulders and giving himself wholeheartedly over to the kiss.
He felt Lelouch shiver, probably from the night air, and he broke the kiss, his
hands at Suzaku's chest as he huddled closer to him. Suzaku chuckled and pulled
his arms a little tighter around Lelouch's shoulders, chafing his hand over
Lelouch's sleeve at his arm, to try to generate some heat.
Suzaku wasn't sure why of all places Lelouch had chosen the alley way to start
at it, he could have waited a few more minutes before they could come up with
somewhere to go, but over eager and needy he had pulled Suzaku in and once far
enough in he was pretty sure no one could openly spy on them, Lelouch had
crushed into him and sealed them together.
Looking up Lelouch didn't even have to say anything, letting his eyes hood,
parting his lips just enough, and Suzaku was leaning down, pressing into the
kiss again. Lelouch's hand worked its way back up sliding against Suzaku's
neck, sliding around to cup the back of Suzaku's head. Lelouch was demanding,
but taking it slower than he had the night before. Suzaku's lips parted and
Lelouch had his tongue thrust into Suzaku's mouth almost immediately. Suzaku
cracked his eyes for half a second, sliding his own tongue across Lelouch's.
There was a flash of light through the alley way, probably just headlights from
a passing car on the street, but it was enough Suzaku jerked his head up,
certain he'd seen it for just a second…the kiss was broken for a moment and
Suzaku's eyes searched the alley way. He could have sworn—there had been
something there, standing against the wall.
"Suzaku?" Lelouch's voice was just a little different—distant, like there was
something in the way of Suzaku being able to hear him.
Another flash of head lights and Suzaku had Lelouch behind him. It had been
there for sure this time. Both of them, dripping blackened ash-smeared sweat,
red pooling at their feet, the gun… It had been fleeting just like the moment
itself, and Suzaku reached behind him finding Lelouch, or the side of him at
least, checking to make sure the other boy was still there, still safe.
"Suzaku?"It was a far more worried voice this time, even a bit panicky. "What's
wrong?"
"You ever think that their not just memories?"
Suzaku spun, forcing Lelouch between his back and the wall as the voice from
deeper in the alley echoed. Suzaku didn't have a weapon but he was still
descent enough at hand to hand as he squared up the man. He was broad, well
set, but not perfect, heavier though it all looked to be build, not fat, but
still heavy—something Suzaku could use against him if there as need. He was
also swaying slightly, the bottle in his hand very firmly grasped—something
else Suzaku could use against him, drunkards weren't hard to knock off balance.
Assessment made, Suzaku widened his stance, readily if need be to lunge, it
would be faster that way and if he timed it right he'd be able to throw Lelouch
back towards the entrance giving him a head start for a run for it.
"They don't go away," the man went on, his voice deep and surprisingly
articulate for the fact he was from the looks of it stiff drunk.
Suzaku felt Lelouch's fingers curl in to the fabric of his shirt at his
shoulder.
"If anything they get worse. The nightmares too, do you get those?" the man
turned to look at them just as another flash of headlights.
The glimpse was all that was needed for a complete assessment change. In the
flash of light Suzaku had become aware of the jagged scare across the man's
face, the dirty (literally, not just color) blond hair, the lazy blue eyes and
most shocking the coat—it was military issue. Older than the hills, but it was
a trench, faded army green and still even had rank stars at the shoulders. A
make that hadn't been issued since the 70's, but still had the flag patch at
one of the man's shoulders.
The man lifted the bottle taking another swig. "It's the one's that come like
that that really start to get to ya, they come out of nowhere and just the
littlest damn thing like a door slamming shut or fireworks—God, I hate
fireworks."
Suzaku turned to a very nervous and confused looking Lelouch. "Come on," Suzaku
said as he gestured for them to leave. His eyes roamed over the other boy—the
same impression of vulnerability coming back to him again.
Lelouch wasn't looking back at Suzaku thoigh, his eyes locked on the man behind
them. "What is he talking about?" the deep tone of Lelouch's voice was nowhere
near vulnerable at this point.
"It's nothing." Suzaku assured tugging at Lelouch's arm now as Suzaku took a
step closer to the entrance.
"They told you to keep quiet about it didn't they?" The man's booming voice
reaching Suzaku's ears this time, making him look back, forgetting himself for
just a moment. He almost charged then, almost thought of how best to
incapacitate the man quickly but still leave him conscious enough to answer how
he knew—this couldn't be just guesses at this point.
A lopsided grin came onto the man's face. "Yeah, they take the boys who don't
do anything wrong and give them whatever they need to feel better, but with the
ones that shame them, the ones that do all the dirty work they just toss aside,
reassign, hope you forget about it so you can be useful once again."
Suzaku's eyes widened just a bit his mouth snapping shut while his mind raced.
Did he know this man? Negative. Did this man know him? He couldn't have, Suzaku
just got here. Negative. Military background? Most definitely positive. But in
what faction? The coat was army, draft issued. Still in military services?
Unable to tell, but the answer was mostly likely negative. A threat? Maybe
sober, but now, with the good ten foot distance between them? Negative. Than
how did he…? That was an answer Suzaku couldn't calculate out. It wasn't an
answer he'd been trained to recognize immediately.
"Suzaku,"
It was Lelouch, and because it was Lelouch Suzaku's head snapped back to look
at him. He'd honestly almost forgotten Lelouch was there for a split second.
"What is this man talking about?" Lelouch tone was still deep, more demanding
this time, like an issued order.
Suzaku didn't answer, knew he couldn't even if he wanted too.. He just stared
back down at Lelouch, almost assessing him as well, even knowing this was his
date not a threat.
There was laughter this time, and Suzaku's head shot back to pin the man back
within the stare of green eyes.
"You're not getting any answers from him, boy." The man kept up the laughter,
though it having died down to just chuckles. "That boy could probably be half
dead and you still wouldn't get a peep out of him, no matter what you did. You
got to hand it to them, they sure know how to train a man to keep a secret." He
took another long swig of whatever sort of alcohol he had in that bottle.
Suzaku had been about to turn, about to just drag Lelouch out of the alley way
if necessary, but he was stopped at the sound of that voice again. The other
man was getting not only inconvenient at this point, but bold, taking a thick
booted step forward. When Suzaku looked again the other man was pointing
straight at Lelouch.
"Make sure you take care of him though." The man still had a very lopsided kind
of grin. "As long as he keeps coming back to you, he's still there, maybe not
all there, but deep down he's there." He took another step forward.
The alarms in Suzaku's head instantly started to scream and he reflexively took
a purposeful full step way, pulling Lelouch with him. He figured the radius
those arms could reach were a good four feet, if the man lunged closer to five
or six, and Suzaku was not letting Lelouch be caught with in that potential
threat zone. It served a second purpose though, switching on the rational side,
the side that knew that now was the time to be leaving before the other man got
any bolder and Suzaku got any more impatient with him.
"Let's go," Suzaku said, taking Lelouch's arm, more firm this time, not letting
there even be a chance he could push him away. Later as always Suzaku would
feel a bit guilty for using his physical strength against Lelouch, but right
now Suzaku was only thinking about getting out of the alleyway. Lelouch didn't
need to hear anymore of this loony and Suzaku didn't need to be anymore
paranoid than he already was becoming.
Lelouch didn't comply easily, "Suzaku!" the sharp tone tearing at Suzaku's
ears. "How do you know this man?" He'd taken a stance, not one that Suzaku
couldn't pull him out of if he'd have tried, but one that Suzaku wouldn't be
gaining any ground.
"I don't," Suzaku answered short, giving an insistent tug to Lelouch's arm.
The sound of laughter echoed through the alley way again.
Suzaku didn't even look this time, only changed his hold on Lelouch to wind his
arm around his waist and giving a jerk, forcing the other boy to stumble a step
forward. With the grounded stance broken it was easy enough for Suzaku to get a
hold on Lelouch enough to pull him out of the alley way and on to the open
street.
Compliance didn't seem to be something Lelouch wanted to do, but he let Suzaku
pull him along anyway. Suzaku pulled his arm out from Lelouch's waist, leaving
only a loose hold at his arm again as Suzaku stepped to the curb to hail a cab.
"What was that man talking about?" the tone Lelouch took now was quiet, but
still just as clipped. He stood stoic, chin raised just slightly, as if he was
looking down at Suzaku, not a hint of vulnerability now.
"Absolutely nothing," his own tone was a bit clipped as well. Suzaku wasn't
surprised that he'd made Lelouch angry, he himself would probably be angry if
in the same situation, but Suzaku wasn't sorry for his actions, at least not
yet, and as a cab pulled up he opened the door to guide Lelouch in.
Once in, Suzaku leaned forward to give an address, before looking back at
Lelouch. "Where do you live?"
Lelouch's head snapped to him. "We are not finished for the night." He hissed.
Suzaku, unaffected, asked again. "Where do you live?"
"No!" Lelouch growled. "I still have questions. Like for one who was that man?"
Suzaku sighed. "Lelouch, give me your address,"
The sigh only seemed to make the boy even more livid. "You have got to be
joking!" disgust showed in the sneer now marring Lelouch's face. "We just went
through that and you think you can just drop me off and it be done."
"No," Suzaku answered honestly. "But after what just happened I doubt you'll
want to be around me for the rest of the night."
"I still have questions." Lelouch growled, his arms crossed over his chest and
jaw set.
Suzaku tilted his head. "Then you can ask on the way, now what is your
address."
Clearly displeased with Suzaku, Lelouch leaned forward, giving his address to
the cab driver himself. With another sigh, Suzaku sat back, facing the window.
As far as dates went that hadn't been the best one he'd ever had in his life.
It was a long moment, the city rushing past the cab windows in a blur, before
Lelouch finally spoke. "Who was that man?"
Suzaku stayed silent. Resting his elbow on the door, he brought his hand up to
his mouth. He was pretty sure that even if he did say anything to Lelouch at
this point it would probably be more damaging than anything.
"Suzaku!" It was hissed again. A clipped tone, Suzaku had hoped they wouldn't
come to for a while longer in their relationship. "Answer me."
Suzaku didn't look away from the window, didn't focus on anything in
particular, deciding an answer was probably best at this point, despite the
fact he knew it wasn't one Lelouch wanted to hear. "It was no one. No one I
know at least."
"Then why was he talking to us?" Lelouch took in a huffy breath and exhaling
before he continued. "That wasn't just some drunk stumbling home."
"I don't know him." Suzaku reiterated, his hand going to his face, fingers
pinching at the bridge of his nose.
Lelouch, Suzaku was learning, couldn't just let a subject drop. "He talked like
he knew you. He talked like he knew exactly what was going on with you, like
he'd seen it himself."
"It was nothing!" Suzaku finally hissed back himself. His eyes narrowed as he
pushed off from the window to bare that gaze down on Lelouch. "Just drop it! He
knows absolutely nothing about me and neither do you!"
It was quiet then. The cab driver hadn't said a word from the moment they got
in the car and Suzaku didn't blame him, what was worse than getting in the
middle of a fight between two people stuck in the backseat together? Suzaku
looked back to the window, no longer being able to stand Lelouch's stoic gaze
over at him. The other boy hadn't moved, his arms still crossed over his chest,
no sign that he was affected at all by Suzaku finally loosing it a bit.
And it stayed that way for several long moments, the city disappearing as the
cab started into more suburban area. Neither spoke, but Suzaku could still feel
that gaze still lingering over him, still looking at him like –well in a much
different way than Suzaku would have preferred. His own gaze was outward
looking to the passing lights and street signs. There was no reason to make
this confrontation worse, or even this date any worse, by actually speaking. If
Suzaku had had a hope before it had dissipated some time with in that alley and
only been affirmed by the fact he'd lost his temper.
The car pulled to a stop, Suzaku too distant to even take a good look as to
where.
"It's not that late."
The sound of Lelouch's voice a bit startled Suzaku. He looked over slow,
watching Lelouch's now more reserved form. He'd pulled back from the easy and
pleasant contact the two had seemed to fit into so well.
"No one will be expecting me home yet." Lelouch was looking down, eyes not
exactly focused on anything.
Suzaku couldn't argue with that. It wasn't exactly how he'd planned the night
either. If things had gone smoothly they would probably still be enjoying each
other now. But despite his reluctance, he couldn't help but speak up. "Would
you like me to walk you in?"
Finally Lelouch looked up at Suzaku. As always, that gaze had an effect on
Suzaku as well. He swallowed, the sound cutting through the awkward silence,
and though not helping, was still some sound. It was hard to not reach forward
and take Lelouch's hand and lead him up to the house despite what he would
answer. Suzaku did want to make this right if it was possible, though now that
possibility was rather slim at this point. It was their first official date and
their first official fight—not exactly an amazingly fabulous start to things.
"Thank you," Lelouch said quiet.
Suzaku perked ready to move to take Lelouch's hand.
"But I'll be fine walking on my own." Lelouch continued, cold and calculated as
Suzaku had ever heard him. Suzaku was starting to realize that when Lelouch was
mad he was good at snippy comments and crushing little comments. He was so
different from Suzaku. Lelouch seemed like the kind of person that wouldn't
fight fair, if openly at all.
Nodding, Suzaku sat back. "Alright."
His eyes, deep, violet, and completely unreadable didn't move away from Suzaku.
It was the same for Suzaku as well. It was silent between them, but then again
at least they still had that bit of limited contact and they weren't throwing
bit out comments back and forth.
"Hey," Suzaku's head snapped to the taxi driver, finally voicing his presence.
"Is the kid getting out or what?"
Before Suzaku could even attempt a reply Lelouch was already on top of it. "Of
course, sorry to hold you up." No, he wasn't. Suzaku could tell from the tone
in his voice and the way that he hadn't even spared a glance in the cab drivers
direction.
The door was open a moment later and Lelouch was getting out. Suzaku slid
across the seat not sure on what exactly to do, walking him to the door was off
limits, but what about anything else? Was he even allowed to just say
goodnight? Awkward, awkward, awkward.
"I don't leave until Friday afternoon." Lelouch again, was already on top of
it, standing from the taxi and pulling at the blazer, setting it just right on
his shoulders to look as primed and pressed as it could.
"Alright." It seemed to be the only word Suzaku could come up with at the
moment as he himself stood from the cab but kept a hand holding the door open.
The taxi driver was probably a bit perturbed to wait just a moment but Suzaku
still needed a way home since it had been made clear Lelouch probably wouldn't
welcome him inside, even if it was just to call another cab.
Lelouch was looking at him still, but he was distant, physically, stepping back
to give Suzaku an ample amount of room to stand. "So if you want, I'll have my
phone so—"
"I'll call you." Suzaku interrupted, which was rather rude, but he felt he
needed to say it. He was still invested to an extent. They'd need to find a way
around this awkward argument some time and over the phone seemed like a fairly
good place to start if not the lesser of the two options.
A nod was Suzaku's only answer for a moment, Lelouch's eyes fleeting down to
the asphalt below their feet. "If it's not too much, I really would like to see
you again before I leave." It wasn't a question.
But Suzaku didn't give an affirmative answer either. "I'll call you." He
repeated, not taking his eyes away from Lelouch's long ebony head of hair.
This wasn't getting any easier. In fact, as a touch of silence set in again,
this time with the chill night air brought along for the ride and the dim lit
street to set a tone Suzaku didn't much like. It was far too somber to leave
like this and not have some sort of resolve or even hope of a resolve.
"Well—" Lelouch started as he turned.
Catching his hand on Lelouch's arm, Suzaku pulled him back. "Wait." It was
still so—weird. It had been the first contact they'd had since Suzaku had led
Lelouch to get into the cab after their hasty escape from the alleyway. In
retrospect the alleyway hadn't been the greatest choice of places to initiate
that kind of contact between them. Suzaku did have to admit there hadn't be an
array of choices to choose from in hope of having a nice make out session, but
the alley had been a really bad idea.
Lelouch stopped, glancing back, but didn't tear his arm away.
"Are you two breaking up or not?" The cab driver called out the window.
Suzaku didn't spare the man a glance. He kind of wanted to tell the man to can
it, but instead he addressed the situation, no matter how rude the man was he
had a point, and Suzaku had to acknowledge that exact issue.
He glanced down the street for a second making sure there weren't any
significant watchers before he spoke. "I promised you a good night kiss, didn't
I?" He looked back up at Lelouch. Suzaku didn't drop his hand from Lelouch's
sleeve either.
Not fighting Suzaku at least, Lelouch stared back at him. It wasn't a vacant
stare, eyes shifting as Lelouch roved over Suzaku's face and a bit below his
shoulders before snapping back to hook eye contact. "Yes, I suppose you did."
He said, making sure he was just audible enough for Suzaku to catch.
It wasn't the best answer that Suzaku had ever gotten but still an affirmative.
Suzaku moved, stepping forward, sweeping his arm up and hooked it around
Lelouch to pull him closer. Making sure to move slow, not to make Lelouch feel
like he was being attacked he cupped his other hand at Lelouch's face, and
still holding constant eye contact. If Lelouch didn't want this than he wanted
to know before he initiated anything.
But Lelouch complied and easily as his hands run up to Suzaku's shoulders,
tilling his head as Suzaku tilted his own leaning forward. The press of lips
and molding of the two of them was as always seamless. Suzaku barely opened his
mouth, moving slower, making the kiss much more tender and less heated, and
Lelouch seemed to quickly catch on to the same idea letting his own lips linger
one arm going up to lazily slide along the mantle of Suzaku's shoulders. If
they didn't have the company of the taxi driver Suzaku might have actually
tried something more, but instead he tightened his hold around Lelouch's waist,
his other arm coming to fold around the younger boy as well.
"Hey, let's get this show on the road!"
With a jolt they separated, startled by the call from the taxi driver. Suzaku
didn't completely let Lelouch go though, keeping a hand at his shoulder as the
kiss broke and Lelouch took a step back.
"Alright," Suzaku called over his shoulder. He hopped that his tone conveyed
enough of 'shut the hell up' that the message got through.
Lelouch gave a nod, "I'll see you then?" he said.
Suzaku looked back at him, his gaze softening as he smiled. "Of course," He
gave his own nod. "I'll text later, okay?"
Still tightlipped and very controlled, Lelouch stepped out of Suzaku's grasp.
"I'll make sure to keep my phone close." He straightened his jacket again.
smoothing the wrinkles out before stepping up on to the sidewalk. "Goodnight,
Suzaku," he said without looking.
"Goodnight." Suzaku said watching the other boy go for a moment. His feet
seemed up able to move from the spot, his brain still focused on Lelouch's cold
retreat.
But knowing the cab driver would only get upset, he turned, sliding back into
the car, and leaning forward to give the address of his apartment. The cab
driver said something about this being a nice neighborhood, but Suzaku wasn't
listening, his thoughts elsewhere. Whatever else conversation the driver had
tried to make was lost as well, and by the time the cab had pulled up in front
of the apartment building and Suzaku had gotten out, paid the taxi driver and
was making his way up the stair he'd come to the conclusion Lelouch was still
very much mad at him.
===============================================================================
Lelouch opened the front door as he heard Suzaku getting into the cab behind
him. Turning his head just barely caught the sight of Suzaku closing the door
and the cab driver pulling away. It was perfect timing as just then Euphemia
entered through the door to the living room.
"Oh, you're home early." Euphemia commented. "Usually you stay out longer when
you go with your friends."
Already lost in thinking what to do about he and Suzaku, Lelouch only nodded,
stepping into the house and clicking the door closed behind him. He immediately
turned to the stairs, hoping to get out of the prying eyes of his sister.
"Did you not have fun tonight?" Euphemia asked, probably from the overall lack
of answers from Lelouch in total.
"Yeah, it was fine," Lelouch said, finally looking up but not quite meeting
Euphemia's lavender eyes. "Is Nunnally upstairs?"
"I put her to bed just before you got home." She affirmed with a sweet smile.
A nod again was all that Lelouch could really come up with. He had been hoping
to see his little sister before continuing to his room. It would have been a
nice pick-me-up after the disaster he'd somehow managed to survive. "I see."
"Father's left again, so I told him I'd stay here just to make sure things went
alright." Euphemia continued now a little more awkward. Not that Lelouch
couldn't blame her, he wasn't exactly being a tremendous amount of help in the
conversation department.
He would have normally protested, told her that he and Nunnally would be fine
without her, especially with Sayako around and that there was no reason for her
to stay, but he knew that with the student counsel trip that weekend it was
probably better that Euphemia did stay. "Your roommates are alright with that?"
another awkward question.
Euphemia giggled. "I doubt they'll even notice I've gone." It was easier, along
with the smile as well. "It's not with trying to get my student teaching hours
that I'm there much anyway."
Lelouch gave the third (fourth?) nod of the night. "Oh, alright. Thanks for
coming though." He started up the stairs. "Well, I'm going to head up to bed."
She looked perplexed for just a moment, but smiled again, that sweet smile as
she spoke. "Alright, sleep well."
"Thank you." Lelouch said cordially before the pointing his gaze away to the
steps as he continued up the stairs and to the hall. He couldn't help but peak
in at his little sister's room for just a moment before continuing to his own
room. Once there the first thing he did was set his phone at the nights stand,
already knowing he'd check it every waking moment at twenty minutes intervals
and probably several times throughout the night.
***** Parental Love and Caring *****
Chapter Notes
     Warning: Shit kind of hits the fan in this chapter. There is refrain
     use, domestic violence and abuse, and way way too many problems for
     one story.
"Your father was a cop?"
Cornelia sat behind her large solid wood desk. Her entire office was
immaculate, barely even a stray scrap of paper to be found. The room—Cornelia's
office—was all just the same brand of meticulous, no nonsense kind of clean.
Behind Suzaku, the walls were lined with photos. The most impressive of which
was of white washed landscape and Cornelia, armed to the teeth and in white
camo gear. A long, scoped rifle hung off her shoulders and underneath that
single black—high heeled—combat boot a polar bear's dead eyes stared up through
the photo. A small trickle of blood leaked from the bears slack jaw.
Suzaku nodded. "Yes ma'am, he was chief of police for most of my childhood." He
didn't say it like others he knew. It was a quiet tone filled with less pride
and more reluctant acknowledgement.
"Hm." Cornelia snorted, completely uninterested. "And you have a different
address listed here when you went into high school. Your father didn't change
districts along with you though."
Suzaku shifted, a grimace on his face as he tried to think of a good answer to
give. "I—well it was easier, not to live at home."
"Well it must have paid off, you're grades went up, you went into the Student
council, even got all American in Soccer." Cornelia brushed through several
pieces of paper. "You played a little bit of everything it seems: swim team,
basketball, even the lacrosse team. I'm sure any college would have loved to
have you. "
She was his superior officer, she was allowed to look at his file, his life,
every minute detail he'd ever had about him if she so please, though Suzaku had
to admit he'd never had a commanding officer be so thorough. Even Bismarck had
perused most of the information and went straight to his history from boot camp
on. The problem was Suzaku wasn't sure if she'd just asked him a question or
just stated a fact.
"Well—" Suzaku started, trying to think of what to say. "I'm not so sure of
that."
"Yeah, neither am I, Kururugi." Cornelia said before going on. "Now in Junior
high there was a completely different story going on."
Suzaku wanted to say something along the lines of, 'I don't want to talk about
it,' or even better, 'shove off.' But Cornelia vi Britannia, was a Colonel and
there was no way in hell he'd ever try and disrespect someone two ranks ahead
of him, let alone a woman that had taken down a polar bear for fun.
"To be honest I would have never guessed that you had this kind of a record."
Cornelia thumbed through the paper work like it was nothing but what was to be
expected. "You're lucky you were very much a minor, or I don't think the Army
would have given you a chance."
That was definitely a compliment coming from her and Suzaku took whatever he
could get, "Yes ma'am."
"You know, it surprised me a little when I found out you have never gone to an
officer's school." She went on. "Though your record speaks for its self," she
went on, her tone shifting this time to a much more distant, almost like she
wasn't speaking to Suzaku at all. "In all your very boyish attributes, there is
a sense of formality that surrounds you that only most graduate officers have."
The fan over head spun in time with the clock on the wall, Suzaku wasn't sure
how to answer again so he just looked away to the floor and said. "Yes ma'am."
She looked up with a sharp motion of her head. "You're excused Kururugi." It
was a tone that bit at Suzaku's heels, the kind of tone that would have better
been accustomed to 'go be useful somehow,' instead of a brisk dismissal.
Either way, Suzaku nodded and stood, giving a salute before going out the door.
Once he left the room he let out the breath he hadn't been aware he was
holding.
===============================================================================
"He hasn't called you, yet?" C.c. asked.
Lelouch shook his head. "He's called. I just—I didn't answer."
Sitting against the wall they both just looked off towards the railing. C.c.
leaned forward as she brought her knees up to lean against them. Her long hair
trailed over her shoulder in two low set piggy tails. Lelouch in turn leaned
back against the wall, his head back against he cement of the wall, and neck
craned so he could look up at the sky.
"Did he leave a voicemail?" her voice was muffled by the long sleeves of her
school uniform, but Lelouch could still hear her clear enough.
He shook his head in more of a shrug of a motion. "I don't know. I didn't
check. Milly texted me so I didn't get a chance."
It was quiet, but not awkward, just quiet between them for a few moments. Below
they could hear the ruckus of gym class in progress. They could even hear the
jarring of the basketball banker and the 'thwap!' as tennis rackets made
contact with the ball. It echoed through the courtyards of Ashford,
reverberating off of the tall builds that surrounded and refracting off the
dorms.
Lelouch looked over towards the dorms. Mostly they were for the kids whose
parents just wanted to get rid of them for the school year, several talked
about how their real homes weren't that far from Lelouch's own house. But there
were a few who lived there because their parents simply lived elsewhere in the
country, which was what the dorms were meant for. Lelouch always wondered what
category Cc. fit into, but she never mentioned her parents, her home, or her
family, so Lelouch left the matter at that. C.c. liked to keep her secrets and
Lelouch let her, and that was why their relationship flowed so well.
"He really just dragged you out of that street/?" C.c. asked.
"Pretty much," Lelouch said with a sigh.
"He swore he didn't know that men at all?" C.c. asked.
Sparing a glance over at the girl, Lelouch could tell she was having just a
hard of time putting it all together as Lelouch was with the whole thing. "He—"
Lelouch stopped looking down. "He said he didn't know him. But the man acted
like he knew exactly what Suzaku was going through, like he'd been him at one
point in his life. "
"You don't think that maybe Suzaku's taking something." It was so nonchalant
that Lelouch knew no one else could say it but C.c. "It's not uncommon for
soldiers to come home and get a little—well one thrill must be replaced with
another."
"No." Lelouch said. "We had dinner for over an hour, there was no way. I would
have known if he was on something."
It was quiet, neither of them sure what to suggest next to come up for Suzaku's
recent absence.
"He didn't text me all weekend even."
"You did tell him you were going on a school trip, didn't you?" C.c. said, for
once it seemed trying to give some ounce of comfort. On a normal day the school
trip would have been the topic of discussion, but after the disaster of a date
Lelouch had had with the much older man—there wasn't much talk that didn't
involve his disaster of a date with older man.
Lelouch didn't look way from the sky. "After Sunday I didn't even expect him to
call at all."
"You know, you probably weren't the only one shook up over what happened. I
doubt that what happened was at all what he expected. Maybe he just needed some
time, and maybe he was considerate enough to think that you needed the same."
His head, lulled to the side, enough to catch contact of one single golden eye.
"Maybe he didn't want to face me after what he'd done."
C.c. gave a huff, and not a normal huff, more like a huff that told Lelouch her
patience was running thin with him.
"What?" he growled.
"You're just taking this all in strides aren't you?" The scolding was given in
the same bored tone she gave everything in.
With a snort, Lelouch leaned back against the wall. A little red faced he
wasn't going to let C.c. see it that was for sure.
"Just answer, next time he calls." C.c. said as she stood. Her skirt whipped
with the breeze for a moment as she walked around Lelouch to the door to the
stairs.
Lelouch heard the clank of metal as C.c. fleeted through the door and back down
into the school.
===============================================================================
After a dead try the day before Suzaku wasn't sure he should even try again for
the next couple of days. But his brain reasoned that he'd given Lelouch almost
a week's worth of space—unintentional but he'd given it. The boy had to pick up
his phone at some point even if it was just to tell Suzaku that it was over.
Though as of then 'it' hadn't quite been clarified.
Leaning against the gray brick of the building Suzaku raised the phone to his
ear and waited.
-and waited, and waited, and waited, until Lelouch's voice mail message came
on, again.
Suzaku let out a huffed sigh before the beep signifying he could give a
message.
"Hey," He said. He swallowed, not sure what to say at this point. It was the
second message he'd left in the last few days. "Uhm, I called." Again. "I just
wanted to talk to you about us.." that sounded oh so manly, didn't it? Might as
well go take a Midol and drink some cranberry juice. "Look uh, if you get this
just call me back. I was kind of wondering if you'd be up for a redo of last
time." His case wasn't getting much better the farther he went on. "Just—just
call me, okay."
With a loud snap, Suzaku clamped the phone shut in his fist and dispensed it in
the pocket of his trousers before turning back to the door that led into the
building.
That night Suzaku went home without a reply. He then went to bed without reply
and got up the next morning without a reply. It was the first time in years he
watched his phone like a hawk, kept it in his shirt pocket just in case, in
hopes that maybe if he kept it on vibrate he'd stop checking it every couple of
hours.
===============================================================================
"Where is it?" She hissed as she came through the doorway into the formal
living room.
Lelouch stood from the couch. Euphie was up as well and ushering Nunnally to
come with her as she hurried out of the room. Lelouch felt the hard pressed
pang of guilt in his throat as he thought of Euphie, of how Euphie's mother,
rejected by Charles as well, had never acted with malcontent towards the
family.
Lelouch's mother crossed the threshold into the room in longs strides, her
twitching fingers already aiming for Lelouch, just like her wild eyes were
locked onto him. "What have you done with it?" She hissed at him again.
Saying anything to her at this point was pointless so Lelouch just backs away.
He can't stop his tongue though and bite out the snarl of a comment. "Why would
I want that in this house?"
Marianne vi Britannia didn't look much like the photos that still hung in the
house around them, Lelouch thought as he watched her face contort in a snarl.
Behind her, on shelf's, and side tables, and even a full print on the wall are
photos of a former her. A picture of her wedding day hangs behind Lelouch over
the fireplace, encased in a gold-colored frame. The long elegant white dress,
and happy smiles. A bouquet of calla lilies and roses, forget me not's, and
baby's breath was in her hand, her other curled around the elbow of Lelouch's
father—his constant bored expression through almost all of the wedding photos
should have been Marianne's first clue it wouldn't last. Lelouch's eyes fleeted
to a photo of a smart looking Marianne, just made partner to the law firm she
now only dropped by every once and a while to collect her share.
"Give it to me." She snarled at him, snapping Lelouch's attention back to her.
That effortless, exotic beauty was so far from gone. Her long ebony hair once
silk to the touch and shining black waters to see flooding over her shoulders
was brittle, lack luster, barely combed, like rotted straw hung from her head.
Her sunken face still glared at him, lipstick was smeared, probably from the
shaking, and mascara had hastily been applied—more than likely before she had
discovered that her stash in her purse was missing. The once coveted designer
clothes hung off her shoulders in need of wash and repair. Lelouch was
surprised she's even managed to find cloths that matched let alone the Jimmy
Chew heels she stumbled forward in.
"Give them to me!" it was a scream this time.
Lelouch looked up, done lamenting over the powerful and strong woman he'd had
as a mother at one point in his life. "No."
She lunged at him, her movements desperate and sloppy. Lelouch retreated in the
direction of the drawing room. He was pretty certain that by now Euphie would
have Nunnally up and in her bedroom, hopefully with her hands clasped over the
poor girl's ears. As much as Lelouch hated her blindness, he was glad she'd
never seen the horrid example of a woman that called herself their mother, not
that she claimed them any longer.
"Where then?" Marianne screeched. Lelouch backed a few more steps into the room
and away from the center as she attacked anything in sight. The drawers set
into the French side table were ripped out of their slots, papers and things
flying in the mad woman's search. She shattered a crystal paper weight and
threw a silver vase to dent against the hardwood of the floor.
Marianne had worked all her life to rise up from her middle class, blue collar
family. Her father had worked himself to death to just live day to day, and her
mother had just—given up, tired of working all day every day. That woman had
worked her way through a law degree at Yale. That woman had almost cried when
she looked at the hourly wages of the first job she'd gotten as an attorney.
That Woman had built herself and her reputation from the ground up. Of course,
then she had met Senator Charles zi Britannia.
She toppled books off of their shelves and hurled a framed family photo to the
floor in a sickening crack as the glass made contact with the hard wood.
Lelouch eyes dropped to it. A much younger version of he and Nunnally smiled up
at him, Marianne sat behind them, with Charles standing in back, his hand at
her shoulder. Then a peep-toe heel entered his view. Another cracking of glass
sounded as Marianne stepped on the broken frames surface. The photo crinkled
and gave way, impaled on the speared heel and Marianne stepped over the mess to
charge her son.
"Where have you hid it?"
Lelouch sprang from his corner, fleeting through doorways to the old servant's
kitchen. Sayoko was there already, she seemed to know immediately what was
going on as she moved to the back door trying to get it open—But Marianne was
already through the drawing room door and Lelouch scattered the contents of the
table as he ran through the closest doorway to the dining room. He'd almost
come full circle through the house, making it to the entryway before Marianne
caught him. Her long, deep red colored nails dug into his skin through the
cloth of his sleeve as she wretched him around to look at her.
"Where is it, boy?" Marianne shook her sons arm, tried to shake his entire
frame, drilling him for any information he would dare divulge. "Give it to me!
I know you, you little weasel. You're always the cause of this! It's you, I
know it! What have you done with it"
Lelouch set his jaw, jerking his arm out of her grip before taking a step
backwards, standing almost exactly in the center of the foyer. "I threw it
out."
"What?" Her face broke, as if it was an unthinkable prospect before her.
"Lelouch, my son, you—" She shook her head, her finger twitched and shook as
she raised them to her face. "You wouldn't."
He didn't say anything. His mother had heard him, he didn't need to keep going
or further draw the pain out any longer.
"Tell me you didn't throw it away." Her lips trembled as she spoke. It was the
first time that night that her voice had lowered to a respectable volume.
Lelouch raised his chin, there was an arrogant tick to the raising, as he
proclaimed. "I threw it all away."
It took a moment for the words to barrage through her reason and want. "What?"
she hissed. "What are you thinking you little shit?" it was a roar of emotion
this time as she lurched at him.
A staggering step back was the only response Lelouch gave, his face morphed
into disgust. "You really think I would have let that filth stay here? With
Nunnally?" it was his turn to be angry. "We had no idea where you were! We
never know where you are! You're almost as absent in our lives as our father.
Why would I want to keep anything here that's yours?"
Marianne said nothing for a minute. "Don't you judge me, Lelouch."
His lip curled in a sneer as he watched his mother. What was she trying to
convince him of? That this monster attacking him over nothing really wasn't who
she was? With a sharp noise made with his tongue Lelouch turned, heading for
the stairs, in slow deliberate strides. "Just leave us alone, mother. Go see
our father; I'm sure he'll find you some Refrain somewhere."
"Don't you leave me!" She screamed at him as she reached out again.
Lelouch moved, trying to fleet out of her grasp, but failed. Her acrylic claws
for nails snagged on his crisp white sleeve of his shirt and caught, stumbling
back and they both toppled to the wood floors. Marianne was built so
differently from her son. Though in disarray and general poor condition, she
had the strong limbs of a born athlete, and with that strength she wrestled
Lelouch to the ground, straddling over his stomach to pin him against the
floors.
"Give it to me! What did you do with it?" She hissed and snarled and bit out as
she yanked Lelouch up to her.
A hard backhanded slap made stinging contact to his cheek in the struggle, his
trousers slid against the polished floor as he tried to get away from his
mother to get to the stairs or the living room or just out from under her hold
to run again.
"Their gone!" Lelouch huffed out as he raised his arm in defense.
Next thing Lelouch knew he was shoved down to the floor. A dazed and confused
moment followed again in his head, he had to blink before he realized that he
was being frisked by his mother.
"You've always been his favorite. He always gives you whatever you want. You
always have his money, he practically throws it at you!" her rant didn't slow
as she tore through his pants pockets before attacking the vest, going through
every little nook to hide something in. "He's always taken care of you.
Always!" She was screaming the words at him, angry over what she was saying to
him because she hated the truth to them.
Buttons popped as she ripped the vest open, finding the inside pocket she
clawed at the wallet there to get it out. Seconds later the woman stood as she
shoved the found cash into her own pockets. The sound of clicking heels and
small 'yes, I knew it' escaping her mouth was all that reached Lelouch's ears.
She left everything else, ID, debit cards, everything and flung the wallet back
to her son. Within a couple of minutes she was out the door. The purred hum of
her Mercedes outside was followed by the screech of tires to accompany her
frightful departure.
Lelouch gave a sigh letting his body still lie there for a moment, long enough
to let his mind clear, let his body calm form the fight of flight situation
he'd just been immersed in.
"Nunnally's wondering if you're alright." Euphemia stood at the top of the
stairs, one hand rested on the banister and her other was held lank at her
side. Her usual expression of blissful happiness was—marred. The frown that
replaced her usual bright face didn't become her.
It took a bit of effort but Lelouch heaved himself up, slouching over his lap
as he retrieved his raped wallet up from the floor. "Tell her I'm fine." He
didn't turn his head as he spoke to her. It would take a few hours at least for
the pain in his cheek to formulate into a bruise but he wasn't going to take
any chances of Euphie seeing anything. "Tell her that I'll come in later and
talk to her."
Euphemia did nothing but nod. Sayoko came in through the dining room, a wash
cloth in her hand. She knelt next to Lelouch, whipping at his face with the rag
to make sure there was nothing at least atop the skin that would give any cause
for worry before picking herself up as well she trailed off towards the drawing
room. The feeling of shame washed over him again as he looked down at his lap.
This was so normal at that point that Sayoko hadn't even asked what to do, she
just went to go clean up the mess, yet again.
His face finally turned as he heard Euphie's own heels as she made her way down
the stairs. "If you moved into the main house you wouldn't have to put up with
this. There's no way that—"
"We're fine here." Lelouch cut in. He was ashamed enough here. If they lived at
the house all he'd get was the back biting whispers and glances. He wouldn't
move there and he wouldn't drag his sister in through those blood soaked doors.
He saw the displeased purse of Euphie's lips, even the way she shifted her eyes
down and away from meeting his own. "I have to get back to campus soon."
"Yeah,"
There wasn't anything else Lelouch could think to say. Euphie didn't belong
there and they both knew it. She was too used to the massive hand that their
father used to protect and constrict his children. She'd grown up with the
lavish balls and parties, gotten any thing she'd wanted, never even needed to
ask; been waited on since birth, and dressed like a little Britannian porcelain
doll since day one. Unlike Lelouch and Nunnally she'd cleaved to her father the
second her mother had separated from him. Lelouch gave a nod in acknowledgement
of his thoughts. Euphie's pretty face and cheerful demeanor had helped out
Charles's campaigns more than once in the past. It was the way it should be.
Euphie would always have the comfortable lifestyle being a Britannia came with,
because she had never had a mother like Marianne or a fight with their father
or even questioned her family.
Lelouch looked straight down at the floor as Euphie just kept looking at the
railing of the stairs. And without much else to be said it didn't take long
before Lelouch heard the click of Euphie's footsteps back up the stairs and to
Nunnally's room. She would probably be gone within an hour or so.
The phone still left in his pocket vibrated, and Lelouch reached in to pull it
out and slide it open. 'New Voice Mail: Suzaku' strolled across the desktop of
the phone. Lelouch looked at it for a long minute or so before he set the phone
down on the floor, closed it, and watched as the screen dimmed. Even if he did
call back, for once in Lelouch's life—he wasn't sure what he'd say.
===============================================================================
He was getting sick of this one sided phone tag. It was more like hide and seek
and Suzaku wasn't getting any leads. He wanted to throw his phone against the
wall of his office but instead he moodily swung back in his chair, tossing the
phone on his desk to brood over the thing for a few more minutes.
What was Lelouch's angle on this? Why couldn't he just answer Suzaku's call?
"It's just a damn phone call." Suzaku mumbled under his voice. That was all he
wanted back. One phone call and if Lelouch wanted it over that was fine. Suzaku
couldn't stop thinking how he just wanted an answer.
His fingers fumbled over the desktop until he got a good hold on the phone. He
looked at it for a long few second before he flipped it open. He was not going
to text Lelouch something after what had happened. Suzaku needed to call to
talk about this. He couldn't do it over text, he refused to be that rude and
insensitive to try anything over text. But he could just send a small message.
Something to remind Lelouch that Suzaku was trying—
But he'd left voice mails. He'd left three at this point. It might be time to
just quit. Give up and go home. But Suzaku—there was a part of him that never
gave up on things. He never gave up on people and values and things. He
couldn't let it die, because if he did there was no way he'd ever get himself
to stop regretting it.
Suzaku tossed the phone back onto the desk. He was getting desperate, and it
might just be better to let it all settle for a little longer. That didn't
actually mean Suzaku wanted things to just settle…
"Major Kururugi?" an officer said as he poked his head in through the door a
bit cautious as his hand knocked against the wooden door.
"Warrant Officer," Suzaku said in return, clearing his throat in an effort to
clear his thoughts as well.
"Sir!" the man stepped into the room and stiffened into a salute.
"Warrant Officer," Suzaku repeated and barely noticed as the man relaxed. He
started to riffle through the paper work that had been drowning him over the
past week. "What do you need soldier," because the last thing Suzaku needed was
to have to see to some mundane issue like recruiting again.
"Colonel Britannia wants to speak with you, sir."
His head snapped up as the words barely made it out of the man's mouth.
"Again?" he realized that that probably wasn't the proper thing to say, but it
was all he could think.
The chair gave a squeal of protest as Suzaku leaned back again. It wasn't like
their first meeting had at all been somehow informative or even helpful on
either end. Colonel Britannia had almost made Suzaku shit himself, but nothing
else had really happened. She'd informed him of his own history and that was
it. Any questions she had asked she had already known the answer, it wasn't
like it was something about attraction. Hell, the whole base knew that
Lieutenant Colonel Gilford was—well Suzaku wouldn't be surprised if Cornelia
was the one that did the fucking in their relationship, but it was pretty plain
there was a relationship there.
"Uhm, yes sir, again." the Warrant Officer stammered on.
Suzaku gave a huff of a sigh and reached behind him for the coat he'd hung on
the back of his chair. "Well, tell her I'll be in momentarily." The moment he
gathered this thoughts enough to be able to address a superior officer, he'd
leave for her office. It was one thing to be blatantly informal with an
inferior, but Suzaku was fine with casualties—most of his superior officers
weren't. Bismarck had never liked it, but he had tolerated the small things but
made sure they all stepped into line the moment it was needed. Cornelia—was an
entirely different story. The minute details were her specialty, everything was
to the letter of the law, nothing out of step or out of place.
"Yes sir!" the officer shouted as he dismissed himself.
"Okay." Suzaku said to himself. "Okay." He stood retrieved his coat, buttoning
it up with care, smoothed over the front and took quick stock of his
appearance, making sure it was good enough, before he went to the door and
started to Cornelia's office. "Okay." Maybe the more he said it the more he'd
believe it.
===============================================================================
"Why did you move?" Cornelia clearly wasn't a person that beat around the bush
much.
Suzaku sat there for a moment. Before nothing clicked officially and he figured
he was allowed to further question. "Excuse me, ma'am?" moved where? For what?
Why did he move back to the states? Well Bismarck was the answer to that.
"In Junior High, why did you move? Better yet where did you move to?" She was
completely serious at this point. And it was the first time in Suzaku's life he
couldn't see a way around answering that question.
He cleared his throat, thinking about how to answer before he just let it all
spill out. "Me and my father didn't get along. He had different ideas about
justice than I had."
She gave a curt nod. "And you lived..?"
"I lived in an apartment—It was cheap enough that if I saved I could afford the
rent."Suzaku said with his head down, his hands clasped in his lap. There was
no way to get around his answer and it was no secret that the Britannia family
had certain—aspects about them that couldn't be over looked. They were the
elite of the elitists, and the Senator Charles zi Britannia wasn't exactly
quiet about his opinions, and Suzaku doubted his daughter would be as well.
"I see." She said. "You were self made from day one. " She never mumbled, it
just wasn't something Cornelia ever did but she lowered her voice enough it
perked Suzaku's interest. "And you lied on your transcript into high school."
"I didn't lie." Suzaku defended himself with an even tone. "My grandparents
would have seen to anything that was wrong, just because I refused to live with
them doesn't mean I couldn't consider them my legal guardians."
"And your address?" she hissed back.
It silenced Suzaku quick enough, smacking him back to reality and reminding him
who he was talking to and that he was in no place to ever over step his bounds.
Besides that, he didn't have an answer for that kind of question. He had lied.
So he shut his mouth and looked down to the floor, hoping it was a clear sign
of submission.
"My father always told me, show me your friend and I'll show you your future.
The problem is I can't find your friends. All I have to go on is your past and
that's a little hazy as well."
Suzaku didn't say anything, didn't even look up this time. He wasn't sure what
he could say to make that better.
"You can leave now, Kururugi." She said as he leaned back in her chair,
spinning just enough so she could look to the window behind her. "And expect to
hear from me again."
"Yes ma'am." Suzaku said as he stood. He gave a quick salute before hurrying
out of the room. If there was anything in his way it quickly got out of the way
as Suzaku charge back to his office. It had been years since Suzaku had been
broken down to that level over words. He hated it.
===============================================================================
They didn't speak this time as they sat out on the roof. C.c.s' eyes were
appraising him and Lelouch could almost feel it in the prickle of his skin as
the girl made as many assumptions as she wanted, over the darkening mark across
his cheek.
"Has she called at all?" C.c. asked.
"No." Lelouch said. He didn't raise his gaze to meet that of his friends. "She
hasn't been home since." The words, thank god, were left unspoken.
"Euphie knows." It was a statement. "She came into student council twice this
morning."
Licking his lips, Lelouch wasn't sure how to go on. "Yeah, uh, yeah, she was
there."
C.c. raised her head up off her arms as she looked over at Lelouch. "I see. And
did she say anything to you?" Her arms were still wrapped around her knees, and
her hair still spooled over her shoulders and those sharp eyes were right on
Lelouch as always.
"Not much. She suggested I move me and Nunnally back to the main house."
Lelouch went on.
There was a certain understanding between C.c. and himself, which Lelouch
couldn't quite define. He told her things he'd never told anyone. He confessed
to things he'd never told anyone. And at the same time he never needed to
confess. She was like him in a way and in enough of a way that she never asked
questions. If she wanted answers she usually tried to find them out for
herself. C.c. knew things about him because of that, things that he blamed on
gym class or on his bad habits.
"Well?" her tone was sharp, wanting an answer she had to ask for.
Lelouch looked up at her. "I'm not moving us anywhere. I'm not moving back in
with that man. I won't grovel at his feet." With a set jaw he looked back over
to the railing. "Things with Charles only work in terms of gains. He gives me
anything more than what he gives our mother and he will expect me to give to
him at some point."
"Even as his child?"
Violet eyes narrowed. "Especially as his child."
===============================================================================
One letter. It stared at him across the table and glared at him every morning
Suzaku came in to get coffee. It was starting to haunt him and he wasn't sure
why. Suzaku watched the letter across from him, as if it might grow a large,
shark toothed mouth and sic him.
A part of him wanted to throw the letter away and just go to bed, but at the
same time a part of him wanted to know what it said. He'd had it in his
possession almost since day one back in the states. But that was the problem.
The longer he kept the thing, the more he wanted to either open it or throw it
away or send it back or just something! The thing was demanding action. That
was the problem. He wanted to burn the letter, but he wanted to know what it
said, and he wanted to know what it said, but he didn't want to give that man
the satisfaction that he'd gotten to Suzaku and gotten him to actually pay
attention to anything he said.
So the best option was burn it. …but Suzaku still wanted to know what it said!
His hand slammed down on the table and he used the leverage to shove himself
upright and to his feet. He looked away from the letter, tossed his coffee mug
into the sink and switched off the light as he went back to go to bed. His date
wasn't calling him back, his superior officer was riding him harder than any
officer had since boot camp, he'd gotten little to no sleep with the
nightmares, and he really just wanted back into Bismarck's unit—a stupid letter
should have been the least of his concerns.
===============================================================================
Lelouch glared at his sister. There were few times in Lelouch's life when he
really truly glared at Euphie. But that night as she sat at in the formal
dining room of his own home, with his two older brothers to her right, Lelouch
directed that look to kill straight at his sister. That night she wasn't Euphie
at all, she was Euphemia and first and foremost a Britannian.
Around him the room was lit in a soft light, one that would hide the scrapes in
the hard wood and the scuff marks around the furniture. Sayoko did a good job,
as she always did, but there was only so much that could be done. There was
still the proper airs in the wallpaper and the silver and the French cherry
wood table. If no one looked at the details than nothing was amiss. But as
Lelouch's eyes rested on Schneizel's sharp eyes and smug smile Lelouch already
knew those icy blue eyes had picked up on every detail.
Lelouch hated to admit it though as he looked at his older brother Schneizel.
He hated to admit Schneizel of all people knew what Lelouch told no one.
Lelouch stood a little taller as he proceeded into the room. He set his coat
over the back of one of the chairs as he stepped forward. The smell of coffee
clung to his skin from work, but he'd left the dark green apron at work along
with the name tag. His white shirt and slacks thankfully weren't as
incriminating.
"Lelouch," Schneizel said as a greeting.
There was a chance that at some point Lelouch might have greeted back, but with
Euphie standing just feet away, that anxious expression on her face, Lelouch
knew exactly what this little house call was going to be about, and Lelouch
wanted no part of it.
After a ringing silence allowed for enough time for the terms to be set and
Lelouch to clearly not return the greeting, Odysseus spoke, "Have a seat,
brother."
Lelouch opened his mouth, ready to retort that he'd rather stand, when Euphie
caught his eye. She'd already seen enough embarrassing behavior in that house
already and Lelouch wasn't going to have his sister see Lelouch get into
another verbal confrontation with in one week's time.
He turned his head away to breathe as he pulled out the chair and slid into sit
across from his two older brothers. His hands linked in his lap and he looked
up slow to his siblings. Schneizel was smiling at him, that awful, terrible,
vicious smile he always wore before he went after something he already
considered his own.
"How are you?" Schneizel asked. "How is school going so far?"
Keeping up with pleasant conversations was the way that they worked, Lelouch
reminded himself as he nodded. "We're doing fine. Nunnally is doing well at
Ashford, as well as myself. As you can see there aren't any problems here that
I can't take care of. "
"Nunnally is at Ashford now?" Odysseus followed up.
"Yes." Lelouch said. His eyes only fleeted to Odysseus's face for half a second
before he focused back on icy blue eyes. "They have a several aides that help
her with getting things in Braille, besides they let Sayoko freely on the
grounds."
"Euphie," Schneizel spoke soft and charming as ever as he looked over his
shoulder, "Would you mind getting us a bit of tea?"
They all knew that there was no reason to ask Euphie, Sayoko could have taken
car of it, but none of them said a word as Euphie nodded and went to do as
Schneizel asked.
"Oh, uhm yes of course." Her eyes fleeted to Lelouch before she stepped through
the doorway and out of sight.
The door swung in her absence and Lelouch continued to watch the space she had
formerly occupied, almost wishing she had stayed, just long enough to stay the
storm that much longer.
"Euphie tells me you're getting started on college early." Schneizel went on in
his same casual tone. "You're getting ready for ACT?"
He leaned back in his chair his arm resting askew on the arm rest. Lelouch
hated the way he would do that. His shoulder's were spread wide with the
action, showing every amount of dominance that Schneizel could squeeze out of
one image. Schneizel was most of all, all about image. It had gotten him far as
well. Unlike the rest of his family that went straight into politics of some
sort Schneizel had as always, had taken a more creative method to control-
business. And from the shine in his blond hair, down the pinstripes of a suit
that cost more than Lelouch's monthly household budget to the perfectly
polished leather shoes, Schneizel had become every bit of a more deadly
predator in his chosen field.
"Yeah, I'm working on SAT's as well." Before Schneizel should ask Lelouch
figured he should go ahead and go on. "I'm looking into Cornell or maybe
Stanford."
An eyebrow arched at that. "Oh really? Both of those schools are a quite a good
distance from home, Lelouch."
He didn't answer instead looking over to the clock.
"Well, you have a couple of years still ahead to choose." Odysseus said, trying
to curb the tension in the room. "We have no doubt you'll make a good choice."
With a flick of his eyes Lelouch looked away from the walls back to his
siblings. It would be considered rude but at the same time—"What do you want?"
he locked eyes on to Schneizel again, this time confronting him with his own
gaze instead of just watching. "Why are you two here?"
A smile quirked again as Schneizel leaned forward and rested a hand to lean
against on the table. "The family is concerned."
"Euphie," Lelouch hissed under his voice. "She had no right—"
"Euphie is concerned as well," Schneizel politely interjected. He held his hand
up to try and qualm Lelouch. "Don't blame her, we would have found out what
Marianne was doing here anyway."
The scrap of the chair across the floor was the only sound as Lelouch stood.
"Get out." Lelouch growled. They'd known, they'd known from day one what
Marianne had done to her children the second Charles turned her out. His father
had even to an extent given her the money and Lelouch still had a hunch he was
still giving her money and if he wasn't she sure as hell knew where to find it,
even if it was right off of her children. They knew, and Lelouch hated it when
any of them lied to him about it.
"We're here became our father is concerned, Lelouch." Odysseus spoke up again.
Not sparing a glance in his eldest brother's direction Lelouch placed his hands
on the table to look Schneizel square in the eyes. "I said get out."
Those blue eyes only blinked, resting closed for just a moment before Schneizel
looks up at him, looked up at Lelouch like he was a child throwing a temper
tantrum over a piece of candy. "Lelouch, please take a seat. I would like to
have a civil conversation with you."
Euphie came in the door then. The silver tray in her hands she kept her eyes
down as she set the tray onto the table top. The clank of china sounded as she
went to disperse the cup among the three men. Before she could get the first
cup out Schneizel placed his hand upon hers.
"That will be fine Euphie." It was a clear message. Schneizel was just like
their father in many ways and one of those ways was that he held the family to
a certain standard. He wasn't about to let Euphie lower herself enough to act
like a common maid.
"Oh alright," Euphie said with a small smile before she stood and giving a
polite dip of her head fleeted through the door again. This time she didn't
need an order from her older brothers.
Lelouch's eyes settled on the china. It was real—and valuable, along with the
silver tray and utensils. He quirked a smile. Sayoko had been a lot of help to
he and Nunnally. When their mother had started to ransack the house for
valuables she'd acted without even a peep. The house may be in need of a good
polish and repair but there was still value, hidden where the very wise maid
knew the Mistress of the house would never find any of it. Painting and
tapestries, the china, silver, candelabra's, books, jewels even, had all
disappeared over night. With Marianne's head always s in focus of one thing
she'd never noticed the changes. Each time she came home she would take more,
but what she never noticed was that more had just disappeared.
He could have scolded Sayoko for never telling him where the things in the
house were but through the years he had learned that Sayoko knew exactly where
everything in the house was and she knew that at certain times it still had to
be brought out—made to look like their home was as filthy rich as any other
Britannian home.
Lelouch's eyes fleeted to the walls, bare. The wallpaper was expensive enough,
but Lelouch doubted Sayoko had had enough time to find a painting to make the
room look indulgent. She had found the china though, and the silver, or at
least enough of it to hopefully fool Lelouch's family into leaving.
With that very thought in mind, that trickery the whole house had been playing
over Charles's eyes for years Lelouch took up his seat again. Getting angry was
very Britannian, acting angry on the other hand.
Schneizel nodded to him, quirking a smile of his own. Lelouch didn't smile
back. He could hear it wafting off of his brother's countenance the clear
impression of: I win, Lelouch. I win.
"This is quite excellent tea, Lelouch." Odysseus said. "As always that maid of
yours is quite the cook."
They didn't say anything. Lelouch was happy enough to let Odysseus just sit
there and sip at the tea, enjoy the ride a while, watching Schneizel do his
job.
"Indeed," Schneizel lied through the pleasantry, his tea still sat in front of
him, untouched. "You know Lelouch our father has talked about you recently.
He'd talked about maybe taking you on as an intern at his office. Wouldn't that
be an opportunity of a lifetime?"
Lelouch was realizing just how long he'd been away for his family. Dealing with
his mother he'd become accustom to actual fighting, yelling, screaming,
insulting, even physical violence if she was desperate enough. He'd forgotten
what it was like to disagree with his eldest brother and not be able to get
angry about it to his face, not be able to call him out for what Lelouch knew
he was, for the con he was trying to pull over Lelouch's eyes.
"I'm afraid I wouldn't have time." Lelouch gave as polite of an answer as he
could.
"Oh yes," Schneizel said. "Especially with that little coffee shop job of
yours."
Violet eyes flicked up at that.
"Yes, Lelouch we know all about that little job of yours. To your credit we
didn't find out until about three months ago. It would have taken us longer if
you hadn't of chosen somewhere so close to Cornelia's post." Schneizel leaned
back in his chair, comfortable with the tone of the conversation now as he went
on. "Our sister has made a lot more progress than I would have ever thought
there. Not for herself, I never doubted that, but she's gotten quite a few
recruits there as well. She is working on a couple now she thinks might be able
to help father's career along."
His eyes down again Lelouch looked off towards the table. He wanted to ask why
Schneizel always felt the need to fill Lelouch in on the things he never wished
to hear, but instead he just nodded.
"I'm sure Euphie has already told you, but she's doing quite well also, her
student teaching is almost through and we're working on getting her to go back
for a doctorate, it'll be best for her."
Lelouch looked up, his mouth forming a hard line.
"You see, everyone in this family gets it Lelouch. We give you opportunities
and you take them, because that's how it works. We succeed as a whole."
…or we each die alone? Lelouch couldn't stand to look into those icy blue eyes
anymore. "I'm fine where I'm at." Forcing himself to look up, Lelouch didn't
smile. "I quite enjoy working there. It fits me." –as a Lamprouge.
Schneizel sat forward again. "Lelouch,"
"I'm asking politely this time if you would please leave my home. Nunnally
should be in bed by now and I have homework." Lelouch stood, slowly this time
to show his eldest brothers to the door. "I wouldn't want to keep you from your
own families."
Schneizel had no family—he had Kanon, the little weasel that did all the really
dirty work, but Odysseus had married some little pea-brained of a girl and had
followed dutifully along the steps their father had laid out for him. From the
look of the suits Odysseus was starting to wear and the way he'd been shaping
up his family—"Good luck with your campaign Odysseus."
As he said it Lelouch locked eyes with icy blue eyes. He let a smile spread
across his pretty face and gestured to show the two men out.
"Oh! Well thank you, Lelouch." Odysseus said as he stood, going to shake
Lelouch's hand in a brotherly kind of way.
Accepting wasn't so much of an option as it was a priority so Lelouch gave
Odysseus a different kind of smile and even suffered through a pat on the back
goodbye, leading the man to the door.
Schneizel wasn't so quick to latch onto Lelouch's shut down of the
conversation. He had stood from the table but walked slow as he continued into
the entryway. He tugged on his coat and flipped the scarf over the back of his
neck, taking his time with the act before facing Lelouch.
Lelouch just smiled back, holding his arm out towards the door in a gesture to
set the statement that this was Lelouch's home still; he did have the right to
not oblige his brothers. It was easier said than done though, Lelouch reminded
himself as Schneizel strode closer to him.
"I'm sure our little sister is doing well?" Schneizel asked for the first time
about Nunnally as his fingers pulled the coat closer to him, buttoning it up.
Shoulders tensing Lelouch watched his brother as he answered. "She is doing
well." He forced himself to continue to watch his brother instead of glancing
up the stairs to Nunnally's room.
"And her health?" Schneizel's handsome smile didn't falter as he looked up at
Lelouch, watching Lelouch for anything he could glean from the conversation.
Lelouch knew because he himself was doing the same thing.
"She's fine. Sayoko has helped out with her a lot. Nunnally's been doing well
under her care." Keeping his tone as even as he could Lelouch chanced a glance
to his other brother.
Odysseus stood at the door, his face blank and just as confused. It was clear
the purpose of this visit had been to convince Lelouch of something, whatever
that was, and that Odysseus looked to think that that message had been
delivered. Quickly, Lelouch focused back on to Schneizel, his eyes narrowing.
"I see. And her schooling?" Schneizel went on with a pleasant smile.
"As always, Nunnally is paying great attention to her studies." Quickly,
Lelouch tried to think where his sister was at that moment. She should have
been upstairs, preparing for bed. But there was only one set of stairs in the
house and Sayoko hadn't gone up them as long as Lelouch had been home, so there
was no way that Nunnally would be in bed like she should have been. Lelouch
just needed to hurry this up so he could be free to go and check on her.
"Of course," Schneizel said, but he stepped closer to Lelouch, letting his hand
rest at Lelouch's elbow, as if he were going to guide his brother through some
traumatic event. "I do worry about her safety though, here. With Marianne
acting how she has as of late I'm not sure she is best off staying here."
Livid—that was the only thing that Lelouch could feel immediately coursing
through his veins. He looked away. Lelouch felt he had to look away as he
clamped his mouth shut, the muscles along his jaw tightening to the point of
pain. Bet he couldn't keep his gaze down, he couldn't just let this grievance
just go. His violet eyes gave a sharp upturn and bore up at his larger brother.
Lelouch let that gaze so full of utter rage broil and burn right up at that
man, letting Schneizel know exactly how Lelouch felt over the matter. His body
tensed and Lelouch forced his arm out of Schneizel's grasp in a firm but subtle
movement.
And that bastard was smiling back at him. His voice was even and just as
pleasant. "Well, it is getting quite late. Thank you for having us, Lelouch."
With a single step Schneizel backed away from Lelouch's now taunt form and
casually let his expression turn smug.
"Euphemia," Odysseus called through the entryway.
She must have been ready because almost upon the very instance the first
syllable of her name was out she was coming out through the kitchen, A
fashionable pea coat already on her shoulders as she came through the dinning
room to join the rest of her family. With a sweet smile Odysseus held out his
arm and she took it without needing any more prompting. She didn't say
anything. She didn't need to say anything as for the first time since had
reentered her eyes lifted just enough that Lelouch could catch her glance.
Euphemia immediately looked back down to her petite little shoes.
Odysseus gave a fake pleasant smile as he opened the door. "It has been so
lovely to see you again, brother. Father will love to hear that you are doing
well."
If it was possible, Lelouch felt his chest feeling even more with that same hot
rage. He should have known they would be reporting straight back to his father.
It was becoming quite clear exactly what their intentions in Lelouch's house
had been. There wasn't any concern, just like there never would be or had been,
there was just another change for his brother to get gain.
Lelouch stepped forward as Odysseus let himself out the door, pulling on his
coat as he did so, and guiding Euphie along with him.
"I'll talk to you later, okay?" Euphie said as she turned once they were down
the stairs and on the walkway. Her hand still tucked around Odysseus' elbow and
her other hand clasped at the collar of her pea coat, holding it close to her
face. Her soft eyes were looking up at Lelouch, pleading in that soft pale
lavender.
For one moment Lelouch could feel the rage release as he looked at his older
sister. Lelouch was reluctant as he stepped forward to the threshold of the
doorway but he pursed his lips as he gave Euphemia a single definite nod. It
was enough for a small though worried smile to break on her lips as she turned
letting Odysseus lead her to the car.
Unfortunately Schneizel stepped closer, this time laying both hands on his
brother. He came up behind him, resting his hands over the peaks of Lelouch's
shoulders. Lelouch could feel the brush of Schneizel's soft hair against his
own, could sense the radiating heat from his brother's body as he was forced to
lean over to speak in his brothers ear. It was insulting how small Lelouch felt
at that moment. Lelouch's eyes moved down, his own shadow was completely
blotted out, and in its place was Schneizel—the looming lumbering and broad
form of his brother completely encompassed Lelouch's own shadow.
"It's been an eventful evening."
Lelouch could feel the rolling heat of Schnitzel's breath over the skin at his
cheek. It was so hot Lelouch had to turn his head, had to get away somehow from
the scolding feeling across his senses. It felt like Marianne had struck him
again, Lelouch could feel the sting as the back of her hand made contact across
his face—this time it was different though. There was the bite of his words,
the sing of Schneizel's arrogance, and the fear of what Schneizel would do to
him.
"I'm sure you will take what I have said into consideration—and that you will
make the right decision," his voice wasn't of velvet or even toned this time.
It was rolling, deep and commanding. It was a voice Lelouch knew Schneizel used
when he wanted him to listen very carefully. "You need to consider your own
situation as well as that of Nunnally's."
Then his brother was brushing past Lelouch. Then Schneizel was sliding his
hands away from Lelouch and sliding out the door to follow Odysseus. Then there
was just Lelouch left in that doorway, his eyes were lingering on the
silhouette spanning across the steps. With the light of the house behind,
Lelouch could perfectly see his own shadow now, could see his own slight frame.
The impression of his brothers shadow fresh in his thoughts Lelouch could do
nothing but look down at his narrow set shoulders and shallow chest and sneer
with his rage.
When Lelouch finally had the gall to look up, again he caught one more flash of
steel blue, cold eyes and a smug smile as Schneizel slid into the back of the
car, Odysseus doing the same on the opposite side.
Before the driver had time to make it down the street Lelouch pivoted, storming
back into his own house he left the door open as he charged back into the
dining room to retrieve his jacket. He flung it over his shoulders, shoving his
arms through sleeves and with a violent movement fitted the fabric over his
shoulders.
"Sir?" Sayoko stood in the entryway. Her hands were down, clasped in front of
her as she looked onto her employer.
"I'll be late tonight." Lelouch hissed as he strode past her on his way to the
door. The leather jacket hugged his form as his shoulders hunched, Lelouch
unwilling to make eye contact with his maid.
"Sir," Her tone was louder, much more firm this time. There was no sound as she
turned watching him from at the doorway.
It did stop Lelouch. "Make sure Nunnally gets to bed, she'll get sick if she
stays up too late." And with that he was charging his way through the doorway,
his stride long as he descended the steps.
His eyes straight ahead, all that ran through Lelouch's head was those words,
the snide and casual way his brother let his body press down over Lelouch's.
His thoughts were completely consumed with those icy blue eyes mocking him.
Lelouch could only think of how his brother were probably already on the phone
with his father. His mind wrapped around how his sister had been so submissive
to their every command. She had acted upon every beck and call Schneizel would
give. White hot with rage he could think of nothing else but the haughty way
his family had come to his home and left in the same manner. They thought they
owned him! It was his home, his family there and his things—and they had acted
like he should come crawling back to them like a-
"I know."
This time Lelouch truly stopped. It became clear that Sayoko wasn't speaking to
him as a maid would speak to her master. Lelouch heard the sound of his shoes
scrape to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk in the middle of his front yard.
When he turned he found Sayoko coming down the steps to him.
"I will take care of her." Sayoko assured, promised. She stepped forward to
pull Lelouch's jacket up around his neck, to help block out the cold. "This
house will be fine." When she finished she let her hands drop but did not drop
her eyes.
Lelouch felt the sigh as he gave it, and he nodded.
"Now, I will make sure Nunnally knows that you are safe and that you will be
there for her in the morning." Sayoko went on her eyes still looking straight
up at Lelouch. "I will clean up and tomorrow night we will talk about this. If
the mistress is to return, I'm starting to believe we need some sort of backup
plan."
Lelouch only nods, knowing that Sayoko is only echoing his own thoughts. They
couldn't let their mother just keeping taking and taking—soon they wouldn't
have anything left. It didn't matter that the bank accounts were locked and
sealed against her, It didn't matter that the silver was hidden or that more
and more things were being moved to the attic. The family was getting involved,
meaning there had to be some sort of change in how Lelouch and Sayoko were
handling the tense relationship with the 'mistress' of the house.
Done giving her message Sayoko turned and went back up the step to the door.
"And Lelouch," Sayoko rarely said his name, but when she did—Lelouch knew he
should listen.
It almost hurt to raise his eyes knowing what he'd almost done, what he's
wanted to do—but he looked up to his maid.
"Please don't dirty any dishes if you get home late. The longer they sit in the
sink the harder they are to clean in the morning." Sayoko sighed before she
continued into the house, closing the door behind her with a quiet click.
And with that Lelouch was left in the middle of his front yard. He looked down
at his feet before reluctant but feeling the flare of his anger—even put at bay
from Sayoko—he pulled his phone from his back pocket. He had three voice mail
messages. Not a one had he check. Lelouch didn't even bother now either and
just raised the phone to his ear as he turned to the street again.
===============================================================================
One thing that had to go was the air mattress. If nothing else in his apartment
went it was the air mattress. Suzaku couldn't exactly say he'd gone shopping
for furniture. He had a couch and a table and a couple of chairs, a dresser—but
the air mattress had to go! He wasn't sure where he was going to be able to
find a proper bed or even have the time to move it into his apartment. But damn
it all he was sick of slowly sinking to the floor every night!
It was uncomfortable besides, the covers a mess around him and three extra
pillows to try and help the issue of comfort, Suzaku had finally achieved
sleep. It was a long process usually. Not that he was extra picky over anything
he just—wanted a bed. It could have been the fact he was back in the states—he
expected things like Starbucks, and cell phones and a comfortable bed at night.
That was probably the exact reason. He had gotten himself a proper cell phone,
he'd been to Starbucks several times, and now he felt robbed of a comfortable
bed!
But he was asleep. He didn't have to think about the superior officer that was
interrogating him or even the air mattress—he was in blissful numb sleep. At
least until—
His eyes didn't even open at the sound of his default ring. It was almost
instinctive for him to immediately reach for it without having to be fully
awake. It was hard to teach an old dog new tricks and within half a second
Suzaku had the phone flipped open and to his ear.
"This is Kururugi."
There was a moment of silence. There was no relay of orders, or coordinates of
target, or even a voice he considered that of comrade. And then there was an
answer. "…Suzaku?"
His eyes flew open and he was on his side in half a second, making sure he was
awake this time. It very well could have been a dream for all he knew.
"Le—Lelouch?" Suzaku had to make sure. It had been two days since Suzaku had
given up on ever hearing from the other boy again. He had thought that it was
completely over. It wasn't like he'd had a star performance on their first date
anyway. "What time—" his fingers toppled things over in his search for the
alarm clock he knew was there—somewhere. Finally he found it, jerking the small
box up to see the red numbers looking up at him. "Oh…" It definitely wasn't the
most typical of time to be calling, but Suzaku wasn't going to be picky.
"Yeah." Lelouch sighed on the other end. "I know it's not exactly the right
time—I just…"
Suzaku could hear it. It was s faint in Lelouch's voice. But Suzaku knew it
when he heard it. It was in the way Lelouch was letting himself jumble his
words. In the way his voice sounded weak.
"If it's too late, I mean I didn't—this isn't just a, you know…" It was the
first time Suzaku had ever heard Lelouch in such a state. It was a scatter of
words and a fragment in thoughts almost. Suzaku hated to admit it, but he knew
how helpless that felt. "I know what this must sound like… But believe me, I'm
not like that."
"I know, Lelouch." Suzaku said as he searched again, this time for his keys.
"Where are you?"
===============================================================================
"Thank you." Lelouch said yet again as Suzaku made sure Lelouch sat down at his
table. There were only two chairs set on opposite sides of the linoleum table.
"Yeah." Suzaku said. He had already turned to the coffee machine.
From the moment Suzaku had seen the younger boy now seated in his kitchen,
Suzaku hadn't really known what to say. It could be said that this was some
form of turnabout. If the angry Suzaku, the Suzaku ready to strike that Lelouch
had seen that night had been Suzaku's worst this Lelouch—shoulders slumped,
eyes not moving from the floor—this Lelouch must have been the flip side of the
coin.
Suzaku took out a couple of mugs, filling them before he turned. "It's decaf."
It was way too early in the morning and a good few hours before Suzaku had to
be up for work so caffeine wasn't something that Suzaku was in any need of.
Lelouch nodded. "Thank you." It was probably the first time that night that
Lelouch looked up, tipping his chin just enough for Suzaku to finally see
Lelouch enough to catch a moment of eye contact.
It was a harsh movement, but as the light fell over Lelouch's pale skin Suzaku
could see just enough of a bruise his hand reacted first and he grasped
Lelouch's chin, tipping his head up even more. This time, his hair slid back
from his face and those violet eyes widened for just a moment as Suzaku focused
on the revealed discoloration across Lelouch's cheek bone.
"What happened?" Suzaku asked, his own eyes were searching the mark. He'd never
had much medical training so he wasn't sure if there was even much to do for
the bruise at that point.
A sneer on his face, Lelouch hissed out his answer. "I fell down the stairs."
And just to add insult to injury Lelouch jerked his head, escaping Suzaku's
hold on him.
Clearly, there were still some issues between them. "Fine," the growl back
rumbled in his chest as Suzaku turned away. He snatched his own mug of coffee
and slumped into the chair opposite to drink it in silence.
Across the table, Lelouch's finger stroked thee smooth surface of the coffee
mug handle. When he finally looked up from his cup he locked Suzaku in a hard
stare. "Who was that man?"
His face scrunched. "Who?" Suzaku's mouth hung open for just a moment even he
was so confused.
"In the alleyway, who was that man who spoke to us?" Lelouch's voice was
stronger, louder this time.
A sigh was the first thing that came through Suzaku's open mouth. "I don't
know." He closed his eyes, letting his body slump in the chair and leaning his
head back on the top of the chair. He set his coffee on the table and waited
for the bad to just get worse.
"Fine," Lelouch mimicked back to him.
And silence. Again.
After a moment of realizing he couldn't just fall asleep like that Suzaku sat
up to see the coffee he didn't want to drink and the boy who had wanted his
help, but now refused to do anything but start a fight again. Then there was
the letter. It stared up at him from the linoleum table top.
Suzaku had had enough and picked up the letter, chucking it to the counter as
he got up from his seat. The coffee was set on the counter near the sink and
Suzaku let the letter skid into the dark corner next to the fridge.
"Junk mail?" Lelouch asked.
It spooked Suzaku that his tone wasn't biting for a moment so much that he
almost didn't answer. His head craned back behind him, to see that Lelouch was
looking back at him at that point, he wasn't glaring at least that time around.
"Something like that."
He looked away sharp, back down to his coffee that he wasn't drinking either.
Suzaku gave a sigh. It was four hours until he had to be up and ready for a
eight hour work day. Whatever amount of sleep he could get would be in his best
interest at that point in his life, and he didn't need to waste that time on
conversation that was going nowhere, and company that he barely got along with.
And the last part was becoming very clear to Suzaku.
But it wasn't in Suzaku to just kick the boy out. "Look, I just have an air
mattress right now, but—I have to go to bed, Lelouch. I'll take the couch just
in case you want to stay, but I can't stay up with you right now."
A nod again, "Aright."
Suzaku nodded back, his arms crossed over his chest. He was still in pajama's
and he knew he owned a blanket in the closet so there wasn't much reason to
stay in the room with Lelouch. So with another nod Suzaku pushed off from the
counter.
He was past the table before he felt Lelouch reach out. It was a light grasp at
his wrist, but Suzaku froze at the contact.
"Thank you." Lelouch said again, this time his eyes were on Suzaku, but not
pinning him for an answer, or wanting anything from him, or even watching for a
reaction. Lelouch was looking at him this time to just convey his own message.
"Y-yeah." Suzaku stumbled out an answer.
Lelouch's hand fell away and his fingers curled around the handle of the coffee
mug.
With that Suzaku turned to his living room. He pulled a blanket from the closet
and searched for a pillow to find none and resurface to see the kitchen
cleared. Both mugs of coffee were in the sink and the light was off. Suzaku
wasn't interested enough to go see if Lelouch had taken his offer and instead
laid down on his couch to try and finish the night out.
===============================================================================
The air mattress was horrible. It was the first time in Lelouch's life that he
had even tried to sleep on an air mattress and he was not impressed. After
tossing and turning for a good while Lelouch had to admit it was a losing
battle. He took a pillow with him then as he crept through the apartment. It
was more than likely a bad idea what he wanted, and he knew that they weren't
really—okay so they kind of hated each other at that point, but—
But Lelouch had turned to Suzaku, and Suzaku had been there. If actions really
did speak louder than words that one action had thundered through the small
bond the two of them had.
So there Lelouch was, trying to sneak his way into the living room without
letting Suzaku know that Lelouch wanted to sleep next to him. Lelouch was
trying very hard to not think of it as creepy. Suzaku have been very chivalrous
and let Lelouch have the air mattress in the bedroom, so in all fairness
Lelouch should have just been happy and stayed there until Suzaku got up and
left. He wasn't though, and that selfish part of him had flared at the idea
that he might be able to sleep wrapped in Suzaku's arms. That idea had consumed
him in place of all thoughts of that night and Lelouch found Suzaku sprawled
out on the couch. The blanket was trailed across the floor, making it easy for
Lelouch to lift it and try and slide onto the bit of space that was free.
"Lelouch?" it was raspy and groggy, and unfortunately it meant that as stealthy
as Lelouch had tried to be—Suzaku was awake.
"Yeah…" Lelouch breathed. He wasn't sure what else he should say, 'hi'
certainly didn't sound like the best option.
Suzaku slid up on his elbow, a corner of the blanket flapping back to reveal a
tanned shoulder. A blush spread on Lelouch's face as he averted his gaze only
to find the discarded shirt on the floor.
"I'm sorry." Lelouch started. "I didn't realize…"
There was another sigh from Suzaku. "Lelouch—just… come here."
An arm hooked around Lelouch's neck and jerked him down next to Suzaku on the
couch. Almost immediate Lelouch could feel the warmth from Suzaku's bare chest.
That arm curled around him as Suzaku slid back down.
"Good, you brought a pillow." Suzaku grumbled and relieved Lelouch of the mass
of fluff.
He pounded it into the crack between the cushion and the couch arm before he
laid his head on it. Lelouch had to admit that he was just thankful Suzaku
didn't call him out on how abnormal it was to crawl in next to the boy he'd
been ignoring for the past week, let alone how he'd treated him within the last
hour.
"Suzaku…" Lelouch started, leaning in to press against that great warmth.
"Shut up." Suzaku grumbled. He turned just enough to be able to look at Lelouch
as he spoke. "I have to get up in three hours. I need sleep, Lelouch."
It was Lelouch's time to sigh. "Alright," He could at least understand that.
Lelouch did have school himself in the morning, not nearly as early but he
still had to make it home in time to get a uniform for school. Conceding
Lelouch let his head settle into the pillow. He had no idea what tomorrow would
hold but whatever it was, Lelouch at least now knew someone would be there.
***** Playing the Game *****
The first time Lelouch had privately crossed paths with his elder bother by
eight years, Schneizel, Lelouch was seven. The Britannian estate was big, but
no house was big enough to house all the children from five different mothers.
There was little to no precedence for it either from Lelouch's own mother. No
one liked to be reminded that they could be deemed useless at any time and toss
out like the rest to come before.
Lelouch was a quiet child. Bossy and quick tempered, but to his own credit—he
was quiet. Talking was after all the only thing that anyone in the estate did.
The help whispered among themselves. The other children giggled and chattered
on. Nunnally had just learned the art of really holding up a conversation and
though very small, and weak and at a far disadvantage managed to draw
conversation out of anyone that would see to her. Lelouch's own mother had a
knack for never shutting up, always going on and on, desperate to hold Charles
attention just a bit longer.
But that was not the case of the small boy with the big, luminous violet eyes
of his father. Lelouch preferred to sit alone, and to watch. The world around
him moved at such a speed, with such velocity. He preferred to seek out the
pattern where everyone else seemed to only recognize chaos.
The lush indoor gardens of the west wing, at least during the day, remained for
the most part unoccupied. It was the perfect place for a Lelouch to escape the
constant chatter.
Rounding the corner in the path, Lelouch was already opening the book in hand.
Reading like the violin, or his silver tongued charm had come effortless, like
it was a natural groove that only required Lelouch's attention to polish into
perfection. It wasn't until there was a break in the greenery and Lelouch
ducked out from under a low hanging fern that he realized he wasn't alone.
Sitting at the small iron framed table was Schneizel el Britannia.
Like Lelouch he was dressed in a suit tailored to fit him. Unlike Lelouch the
suit was a soft light blue color, the cravat pin at Schneizel's throat a deep
sapphire. Like Lelouch his hair had been neatly parted and combed. Unlike
Lelouch it was the perfect blonde every woman dreamed of having, and waved at
his ears adding to an already developing handsome charm. Like Lelouch
immediately Schneizel focused his eyes, seeming to size up the new prospects
first. Unlike Lelouch, Schneizel's did not own his father's eyes.
No, Lelouch would never in his wildest dreams be able to forget Schneizel's
eyes. There were almost solid in color, like beams of fresh light under those
thick blonde eyelashes. They were like looking into the arctic barrens of the
world, giving that glacteral gaze power enough to freeze anyone.
Lelouch still remembered the sharp intake of breathe he took upon making eye
contact with those eyes. He remembered that he had stopped, his feet frozen in
place.
Neither of them spoke.
Schneizel was the one to move, flicking his eyes over the appearance of his
younger brother. They had met in formal terms, exchanging names, and
acknowledging that they were of the same linage, nothing more in their
relationship had ever developed. This was different. This was with no
supervision of adults or the leering eyes of their father or the tutts of
disproval from their respective mothers. This was uncharted territory.
With effortless grace that Lelouch would learn in later years, Schneizel
reached out his hand and plucked a piece from the chess board on the table. He
offered out the black king to Lelouch, the piece resting in his palm.
"Would you like to play with me?" Schneizel's voice would always be the thing
that melted the frigid truth of his gaze. With eyes like frozen daggers it was
only a matter of survival that Schneizel leaned to drop his the sound of his
voice into warm tones of honey.
It took Lelouch a moment, but without a word he stepped forward and accepted
the chess piece. If he was to learn to play the game, he figured he might as
well learn from the best.
===============================================================================
Suzaku had to admit that of all the things that Cornelia's office
was—comfortable was never one of those things. And yet here he was again, half
awake and trying to think of what on earth Cornelia would have left to talk
about.
She never beat around the bush, she never even attempted at small talk, and
this time was no different. Suzaku looked up as Cornelia tossed a plastic
evidence bag onto the desk, purposefully right in plain sight of Suzaku. It was
at least ten years old give or take a few years. But that didn't change the
black incrusted blood along the blades edge.
"So tell me, where did you learn to fight with a knife." Cornelia said with a
stead voice, folding her hands in front of her, leaning her elbows on the desk.
Suzaku's eyes were on the blade in that evidence bag. It was a kitchen knife.
He could feel the muscles in his jaws contract and tighten. Eyes were already
wide so there was nothing else to do but stare as the worst that could have
possibly happened happen. His dominate right hand flexed, hidden from view with
the desk, fisting tight as memory seeped through the cracks of his composure.
"Enlighten me, Major Kururugi, why was it that you moved out of your father's
house at fourteen?" More questions. It was always more questions anymore when
it came to Coronel Britannia. The worst was that most of the time she never
seemed to want an answer and if she did it was an answer Suzaku was sure she
already knew far in advance.
Suzaku didn't shake his gaze. The knife still had the thin trace of where a
hand had been at one point. It was where a much smaller, but still a broad
hand, that had grasped that knife. His eyes flicked down to his hand in his
lap, still tightly fisted.
"Those—my minor records are sealed." Suzaku said as he looked up, locking a
steady gaze onto his superior's face.
"That wasn't an answer to my question." Cornelia went on. She stared right back
at Suzaku.
The chair scrapped against the floor as Suzaku stood. "Those records are
sealed." Suzaku growled.
Cornelia sat back in her chair. "Sit down, Kururugi." She sighed heavy.
There was a minute where Suzaku didn't move at all. He just stared at the
Cornel, but it didn't last and as Suzaku always did, eventually he followed
orders. He didn't get comfortable, sitting on the edge of the chair while he
still continued to watch to see Cornelia's next move.
"You know, when Bismarck suggested you, I told him he was crazy." Cornelia said
as she leaned forward to open the drawer of her desk. He pulled out photo
prints that she held in her hands, examining them herself. "There is no use for
an out of control soldier, especially one that is so highly trained and well
armed as you." Her eyes ran over the photos one more time before she set the
photos onto the desk for Suzaku to catch a glimpse.
If the knife had set him on edge—the second he saw that girls face, dead green
eyes staring back at him, Suzaku shrunk back, his mouth snapped and locked shut
as the nightmares ran through his head. How did they get these pictures? No one
was there, no one but his partner, Gino. Not that he or Gino could remain quiet
about what had happened. The entire mission had gone wrong from the moment the
target had set the place ablaze. That still didn't account for photos. The only
images Suzaku had ever though made it out of there had been the ones imprinted
in his memory.
"Now I'm going to ask you one more time, why did you leave your father's house
at fourteen years old?"
Suzaku's mouth hung open just slightly, slack as his eyes just continued to
widen. Was this really happening? There was no way that this—Suzaku was good at
his job. He repeated it so many times over in his head. If there was no other
use for him in the world it was that he was so goddamned good at his job. This
couldn't—this couldn't be happening to him. His entire life was a mess but
this—and now…
"I—" Suzaku's voice didn't shake. He just couldn't think past what was
happening. What excuse was there to give for his actions as a boy?
"Why did a child run away and why did his father not go after him?"
There was nothing that Suzaku could answer. There was nothing to say that would
change the mind of Cornelia. How could he have explained a lifetime in a matter
of minutes? There was too much to tell, too much that Cornelia would never
understand! So in the end, Suzaku closed his eyes and admitted defeat, looking
down to the carpet.
"I am sorry, ma'am. I won't make excuses for myself." His tone was level. His
eyes stayed glued o the floor. If he hadn't been taught all his military career
no tot slouch he would have been leaned over his knee. He felt nauseated—his
throat dry and his mouth tasted disgusting. He swallowed hard to get he
disdainful taste from his mouth, but it didn't help.
"Leave." Cornelia said, skipping al formalities to turn back to her own work
without a second glance in Suzaku's direction.
Suzaku was surprised that it didn't come out as a hiss directed at him, but
never the less he complied. His face coming out of Cornelia's office, and
carefully shutting the door behind him must have been sight enough, because all
the way back to his office not a soul spoke to him.
===============================================================================
"Lelouch!" one of the barista girls called to him from the cash register.
Lelouch looked up from the cappuccino in progress to see what he was needed for
now. Unlike other when Lelouch was tires all he really noticed was that he was
easily irritable. He bit out sarcastic comments faster and snapped at anyone
questioning his actions.
"There is someone here to see you." The girl said as she rolled her eyes,
clearly unhappy to be ht her job.
With a purse of his lips Lelouch looked back down to the coffee cup in hand.
Schneizel had warned him they knew where he worked, so it wasn't surprising
they decided to make house calls so soon. Lelouch hated to think it but he had
a hunch he was the family's new charity project. Or the worse scenario was that
they just believed that Lelouch was being selfish and fickly with his aversion
to accept what he should have, either way he was going to have to get used to
people trailing his steps.
"Tell them I'll be there in just second." Lelouch said not looking up.
He took his time finishing up with the order. Keeping his hands occupied made
it easier for Lelouch to think. They were tightening the noose around him. He
breathed slow. If it was a war they wanted Lelouch would have to remember what
it was like, have to remember that with these people the only way to win was to
slip out of their fingers, to out think them and be amply prepared.
Lelouch looked up, handing the cup off for pick up. He'd have to try and figure
out a way around this, why dancing he fine line of getting out from under his
mothers notice as well.
When Lelouch came out to go around the counter he looked for pinstripe suits
and smooth charming smiles. Looking around he turned to the girl, "Where…?"
She just pointed with and impatient gesture to the windows at the front of the
side café. When he looked in the direction, immediately he let out a sigh of
relief a slight smile even touching his lips. Almost a silhouette in the bright
light of mid day coming in, Suzaku stood facing the window. He was in his
uniform still, as always looked like he tried to calm the mass of curls down
and of course failed.
As Lelouch approached he didn't speak. It wasn't until Lelouch was at Suzaku's
side that the older boy looked at him.
"Hey," Suzaku breathed, a weak smile tugging at his lips.
Neither of them moved to touch. After sleeping in the same—couch with no qualms
a few nights before, there wasn't the need to always reinstate that they liked
each other any longer. Besides they were in public, not that it matter much. It
was just a relaxation between them. Not that they had lulled into any type of
pattern. They had just both realized that for once—it was real. They had both
seen a darker side of the other—and they had still managed to somehow still
want each other.
"I didn't know if you would be here." Suzaku chuckled. He looked away and down.
Lelouch cocked his head as he took a step closer, possibly standing too close
for an ordinary friend. "Consider yourself lucky then." Lelouch gave a glance
over his shoulder to the counter. "I'm off in half an hour." He paused not sure
if he was crossing other boundaries before he went on, "wait for me?"
Suzaku looked up, this time giving a flash of that breathtaking smile, eyes
crinkling into it for the first time as they spoke.
Blushing Lelouch gave his own smile back.
"I can't."
Lelouch's head snapped up. "What?" That smile—he'd just assumed…
Suzaku faced him, taking aside step closer to lean in as he spoke. "I have to
go back to work. I'll be there late tonight."
The Army Base wasn't very far at all from the bookstore, only about a block for
the soldiers to walk over. Lelouch turned to look out the window. Even just a
block away and they still couldn't manage. Reluctant he did not though. He had
his own problems to see to anyway. Least of all was the mounting homework, he'd
ignored in the turmoil of his life and family.
"Alright," Lelouch glanced up. "I haven't got much homework done lately
anyway."
Hesitant this time Suzaku looked up, seeming to try and make up for his
refusal. "I was wondering—about this weekend."
Without a second thought this time, he smiled. "I'd love to."
"Oh?" Suzaku quirked another one of those sincerely charming smile. "I haven't
even told you what we would be doing."
Lelouch gave a shrug. "Not much else could be worse than our first date."
Suzaku looked down with a chuckle. "I was thinking maybe we could go camping
out in the wilderness, with only pocketknives and our bare hands."
"Veto," Lelouch said with a flat tone as he looked back to the counter. If he
could he'd milk this moment for all he could. Suzaku may not be staying, but he
was still a welcome distraction.
Giving a mock sigh Suzaku looked back towards the window. "Alright,"
When his manager made an appearance, Lelouch looked away to the boy next to
him. He wanted to reach his hand out, to touch Suzaku for at least a moment,
feel the power in his chest and curl up next to it as he had a few nights
before.
The morning after surprisingly had gone quite smoothly—Suzaku had left before
Lelouch had ever woken up so it was easy to just slip out of the house and back
into his own home before anyone was the wiser. Sayoko knew. Then again she knew
everything it seemed. Lelouch quirked a smile. She may have known everything,
but she was discreet enough to not mention it.
"I have to go." Suzaku said.
Lelouch didn't look up. Instead as discreet as he could he slid a hand along
Suzaku long suit coat sleeve. "If you must," It was when he reached Suzaku's
hand that he stopped, instead stroking the soft fabric at the cuff.
It was hard for them both to try and look stealthy, but Suzaku flipped his hand
holding his palm open for Lelouch. "I'll see you later then?"
"Most likely," Lelouch took the offer, not holding his hand but letting his
fingers slide against his palm.
Suzaku's fingers contracted, actually holding his hand. That was probably
better saved for late night sleep over's on Suzaku's couch anyway. It was
easier there since usually there was some animosity involved along with just a
spite of sarcasm. If Suzaku was too tired to care it helped as well, that way
Lelouch usually got away with things like creeping into his bed in the middle
of the night. Not that Suzaku had ever denied him. Lelouch had been the one to
start kissing him against his desk the first night they'd known each other
after all
"I'll take that as a promise then." Suzaku said stepping to the side moving his
hand out of Lelouch's to sneak it at Lelouch's waist, letting it rest at the
small of his back for just a moment for some form of embrace before as
respectful as ever Suzaku stepped away, straightening the sleeves of his
uniform.
When he watched Suzaku leave, staying there in front of the window to watch him
through the glass, Lelouch lingered until he Suzaku was well out of sight.
===============================================================================
He was lying. Suzaku knew he was lying but that didn't stop him from going
through with his lie. He and Lelouch kind of floated through the part where
they talk about what happened and then come to a mutual decision and then come
clean about everything—yeah, pretty much they'd just spent the night together
on Suzaku's coach. It wasn't fixed, but Lelouch was answering his calls. And
screwing that up with one night spent with a grumpy Suzaku—not happening. He
had to work late, remember?
Suzaku had to work late because his job was possibly killing him. With Bismarck
things had worked like a well oiled machine, Suzaku got everything done on time
and in perfect form and in return Bismarck hadn't asked anything other than
that Suzaku stay the perfect soldier. How or why Suzaku was the perfect soldier
had remained out of things entirely. There was never any questions prying into
the injunction filed or the fact that Suzaku had indeed sealed all minority
records. There was no need in his own mind. The crime he had intended to commit
after all had never been fulfilled.
The base was dark and deserted, but Suzaku didn't move from his desk. If this
was purgatory he'd do his time for a crime he hadn't meant to commit. Bismarck
said he needed time and he was right to some extent, but Suzaku had mostly
needed space. Now—he knew what space and time felt like and to be frank—he
hated it. He hated not to have anything to focus on. He hated not being able to
hit his target head on without fear that there might be some unseen consequence
to come back and stab him in the back. He hated being a civilian. He hated to
have to try and fill his time with things he knew didn't matter. He hated his
superior officer rooting through all of his life and wanting answers for the
hardest thing he'd ever gone through. He hated the nightmares and the memories.
He hated the letter sitting in the dark corner of his countertop. He hated all
of it—
His fist slammed down on the hard wood desk. Suzaku wasn't sure when he'd
started to breath so hard and fast, but it was coming in pants he realized. He
looked down to realize that his fist was clenched. The veins in his arm stood
out in the strain of muscles, he was clenching so hard. He set the pen down,
sitting back in his chair to try and relax his body. Everyone hated the
paperwork in the military so that's what Suzaku had been doing. If he was lucky
he wouldn't have any for the next couple of weeks for everything he'd gotten
done in one late night.
There was even more steam pent up now though. He was wound tighter and strung
out even worse than when he'd walked out of the Coronel's office. The entire
goal of staying late had been to burn himself out, run all the way down in
hopes that in the morning when he had to restart, his mind would run cleaner,
less strained.
His hand raised to his face, flattening his palm over his forehead. Suzaku
needed a different tactic. A second later he stood and gathered what few things
he needed to get home. The internet is a wonderful tool, and within a few
minutes he'd bought himself a membership to that same 24 hour gym he was
starting to frequent and left immediately to try and work off the steam.
If this was what an audit was like then Suzaku now completely understood why
every man he ever met who had gone through such an awful thing, hated the IRS
with a passion that could have started wars.
===============================================================================
"Milly knows you're a fag."
Turning with an arched eye brow, Lelouch caught C.c.'s eye over a slice of
cheese drooling pizza. She shamelessly took another bite, cheese stringing
between her mouth and the slice of surprisingly still warm pizza. She looked
back at Lelouch, her jaw almost unhinging with the crass display of the first
steps of predigesting her food.
"You look like a apple green cow." Lelouch threw out the comment as he looked
back over the railing to the courtyard of the school behind him. "Table manners
are a bother for you though, I'd assume."
"I'm not a fabulously queer homo on the verge of discovery." She managed to
verbalize past another bite.
He let his head lull to the side for a moment, think on if he should take the
girls rise or not. He gave a shrug, if she insisted, might as well hear
whatever gossip she felt compelled to dish out. "And this information was
obtained, how?"
"Girls locker room," She gave a sly, smug smile. "That spice up your interest
in the matter?"
"Queer fag, remember?" Lelouch corrected her as he made his own grab for a
slice of pizza.
Her eyes returned to the last piece of food left before without regret scooped
it up for another cheese fest of chewing. "Shirley swears otherwise." She
dangled the extra information out like a dead mouse to a starved alley cat.
Of course, this time as Lelouch locked eyes with her again, taking a bite of
his own slice, he knew this routine with her. C.c. liked to feel needed, so to
compensate she liked people to come to her, not the other way around. Usually
Lelouch could ignore her blatant taunts for attention, but as luck would have
it—Lelouch was actually mildly curious.
"I have no idea why she's so infatuated with you," C.c. gave Lelouch a long
overview of a gaze before shrugging and going back to her food. "It's obvious
you probably fuck like dead fish."
"Has this conversation really sunk that low?" Lelouch rolled his eyes before he
took another bite.
"Apparently," C.c. went on. She finished the last of her slice, before with a
sigh she took the rest of Lelouch's slice from him. "We don't want soldier boy
thinking you're fat and a dead fish." She explained as she inhaled the last of
the large pizza.
Giving up, Lelouch turned to lean back against the railing and ignored that his
food had just been relieved from him an accounts of a fat comment. "Don't you
think we're a little old for conversations based on petty insults?"
C.c. did appear to think on that comment for a moment before a smile spread.
"Old enough to know better, too young to care," She concluded before that grin
turned sly as her eyes narrowed to slits, "Now do you want to know why Milly
thinks you're strip pole-dancer gay?"
Nope! …or at least that's what Lelouch wanted to say, but with a loud sigh he
figured he might as well give in early or he'd be hearing it from dawn till
dust every moment he was around C.c., which was becoming far too much. "Why
not?"
"Your brother came snooping."
Lelouch's head jerked at the sound of his family and his own eyes narrowed just
enough to scrutinize C.c. for any signs of deception. "C.c. that's not exactly
hilarious—"
"The tall blond one,"
She wasn't kidding this time, and Lelouch stood a little straighter as he
watched that sour expression turn grimmer. C.c. didn't like to get involved in
other peoples affairs, but she, like Lelouch, shared a certain distain for her
family, and as well understood the tricks people preferred to play in wealthy,
powerful families like the two of them shared. The only difference was
Lelouch's family, though private in most matters, had a state senator as
patriarch.
Lelouch continued to watch his friend. She was his closest friend at the school
but that didn't mean she always had Lelouch's best interest at heart. "When?"
"This morning," She met his gaze with feline gold gilded eyes. "Apparently he's
a pretty good charmer too. The secretary in the office gave him practically
everything, right down to your school lunch balance, according to Milly of
course."
The courtyard below was still full of students enjoying their lunch break as
Lelouch turned his eyes to them. He didn't see it though, mind already gone to
thinking as to what Schneizel would have found out , how it could have
benefited him, and how Lelouch could counter act. To be honest, Lelouch had
thought that his brother would have waited longer, let the raw emotion of their
encounter ease before starting to dig through Lelouch's life. The frightening
thought that struck—Lelouch closed his mouth, pressing his lips together to
form a thing line—Schneizel was possibly doing the same with Nunnally.
"Milly thinks that you must idolize him to the point that it turned to an
unhealthy infatuation and that resulted in such a response from you that you no
longer talk about your brother and prefer to stay as far from his as possible.
In other words, you're sexually attracted to men because your brother is
pornstar hot and that is why you freeze up around anything with a vagina that
wants to use it with you." C.c. gave a shrug. "Personally, I think that's all a
bit silly logic." There was a pause, a tilt of her head, and then she
concluded, "You're obviously gay because you had a lack of supportive male
figure in your life and now are desperately searching for the approval and
affection of men."
If Schneizel was doing the same with Nunnally, which was very likely
considering he knew Nunnally and Lelouch were basically on their own. It was at
least a point in their favor that Nunnally and he both managed nearly flawless
grades. His attendance would need a reason, something other than his minimum
wage job to keep his family afloat, or the truth that Lelouch didn't give a
flip.
"Shirley swears that Milly is bat-shit crazy though. I think it's those rose
colored glasses, called she thinks you're the shit. I informed her you've never
had a girlfriend." C.c. was certainly in a talkative mood. Of course they were
all slap sided insults disguised as gossip, so no change in their relationship
really on all fronts.
He rolled his eyes as he sat up straighter and pocketed his hands. "I've had a
girlfriend before," Lelouch refuted with a grumble.
There was a moment before C.c. laughed. A full solid moment—before she laughed
at Lelouch.
Stalking off the roof he felt was his only option left. He did have to admit—as
far as getting in the last say, that last one was pretty weak. As he reached
the door to the stairs and he could still hear C.c. snickering at that point.
He rolled his eyes and flipped her off just as he swung the door open.
===============================================================================
When Suzaku saw him, he froze for half a second. Standing at the office coffee
maker, the cup stilled in mid air, Suzaku's mouth hung open as well. That
moment would have been better spent scrambling back to his office, avoiding the
situation all together. But it had been 32 hours ..36 hours… a very long time
since Suzaku had gone to sleep. His brain wasn't functioning beyond all of the
paper work he'd been blowing though over the past few days.
But Tohdoh clearly had seen him and Suzaku didn't have much of a choice but to
acknowledge his presence. He set the coffee cup down on the counter and moved
his arm up in a brief salute.
"You've moved up, quickly," As charismatic as ever Tohdoh got straight to the
point.
"Thank you, Colonel." Suzaku said, "You've done very well yourself," especially
considering Tohdoh's unpopularity.
The men accompanying the newly appointed colonel had to back track the moment
they realized the grizzly war hero had stopped in front of Suzaku.
All of them except Tohdoh were looking down at one thing—Tohdoh's outstretched
his hand to the Major before them, holding his hand out just in front of
Suzaku. Suzaku was startled for a moment before looking down at the
outstretched hand before he looked back up. Tohdoh had his usually grim
expression on his face. This time that hard, stern expression was directed
straight to Suzaku, It wasn't the first time that Suzaku had received that kind
of look from his superior officer.
Suzaku knew that expression, he knew that a hard line expression like that
usually made men crumble under Toudou, made men confess any misdeed or any
casualty. And Suzaku knew that he'd defied that gaze once, doing it twice would
never be in him. He took Toudou's hand giving it a solid, good shake, looking
that man square in the eye.
"You're a good soldier." Toudou said, accepting the hand shake well.
"Thank you, sir," Suzaku said with a nod.
Toudou released his hand, folding them back dutifully behind his back. "I want
to see you. Later this week, I'll give you some office time. There are some
things I want to talk to you about."
All Suzaku felt like he could do was nod again. "I look forward to it, sir."
"Good." And again Toudou was off, striding back to his new office.
Suzaku wasn't sure what had caused the relocation of Toudou's unit, but he was
pretty sure that talking to both him and Cornelia wouldn't be something Suzaku
was looking forward to. It was never much of a secret that Cornelia and Toudou
tended to fight like two cats over the same dead mouse. Toudou acted little too
much like a sovereign citizen a little too much for the military's taste and
Cornelia acted a little too much like a demi-god a little bit too much for the
military's taste. Putting them both in charge of the same base was one of the
worst ideas Suzaku had ever heard. He just hoped they didn't start a civil war
over the whole matter.
Gilford stepped up next to Suzaku as the new authority continued down the hall.
"The Colonel isn't very happy about this." The usually silent man said in a
quiet tone next to Suzaku.
It took a moment for Suzaku to realize the Lieutenant Colonel was speaking to
him. The inner circle of Cornelia's unit was quite small, with only a few
choice soldiers that conversed with her over most matters. Besides issuing
orders, Cornelia barely ever spoke to the soldiers in her own unit. Not that
there was a need with Lieutenants like Gilford and Dalton snarling down their
necks there was an embedded fear of what Cornelia's own rage could be capable
of.
"I doubt that she is. Toudou isn't a very—traditional commander." Suzaku said
once he realized that Lieutenant Colonel Gilford was waiting for a reply.
Gilford looked to him, maybe even smiling—if the very slight upturn of one side
of his lips could be considered a smile. "Don't worry, the issue will be
handled shortly, I'm sure."
Suzaku had no desire to ask how Gilford was sure of this. If Toudou was in for
some rough times, Suzaku wanted to be the last person on the planet to know
about it. He just wanted to go back to his office, keep working on his paper
work and effectively be forgotten by every one for the next couple of months.
Ideally, he'd be remembered just in time to be sent back to Bismarck's unit and
there would be no other problems.
One thing was for sure though, Suzaku was very sure that Cornelia would find a
way to handle this situation. "I've no doubt she will handle this." And if
Suzaku was lucky it would all be over before he would have to opportunity to be
dragged into the fight.
Startled out of his musing of how he wanted things to be, Suzaku first looked
down at the hand on his shoulder, blinking a couple of times before looking up
to see that the somewhat smiling Gilford was the source. Gilford gave Suzaku's
shoulder a firm shake before releasing and turning to walk down the hall.
Suzaku's coffee was probably chilling as he watched over his shoulder at the
retreating form of a man he'd before only said about three lines to, and none
of those words were anything substantial.
And he was pretty sure that the same man just gave him a Comrade Shoulder
Squeeze. Those didn't happen often to Suzaku, and when they did it wasn't from
people he barely knew.
He was fairly certain that it was becoming apparent that there might be a bit
of a tug-a-war over whose side Suzaku would be taking in the upcoming World War
III.
===============================================================================
"You're not paying any attention." Lelouch said, a light smile on his face,
sitting across from Suzaku. He was leaning back in his chair, his elbow rested
on the black iron bar armrest, leaning his cheek against his closed hand.
Suzaku looked away from the game of tag a few children were playing just a few
feet away. "What do you mean? I'm paying attention, I swear." No, he wasn't.
The park was crowded with every age and every variety of people. Though Lelouch
and Suzaku weren't the only ones at the chess tables, they were indeed the
youngest. Next to them, two old men fought over the legality of a move and in
respect if the game was over or not. Behind Lelouch, a family was sitting down
to a picnic. Off to their other side in the wide open expanse couples
frolicking and children were playing every form of fun.
It was no surprise it was a perfectly nice day. The sun shone though the
comfortably cloudy sky, making it just the right amount of warm. The flowers
were out and the water on the lake looked warm enough as ducks dove every few
minute before surfacing with shaking heads and ruffled feathers. It was a day
that most people dreamed of having an early morning date on. It was a day that
most other people would be enjoying the company on a textbook perfect day. It
was a day Suzaku knew he should enjoy more than he really was enjoying.
Lelouch across from him was wearing a navy blue and white Reagan, mid-sleeve
and looked perfectly comfortable. Grey jeans hugged his waist and accentuated
those long legs all the way down to the Chuck Taylors on his feet.
And surprisingly—it wasn't gone, he was still very attracted to Lelouch. It was
just that… Suzaku gave a long, wide yawn. "I'm sorry, is it my turn?"
A laugh broke out from his chess mate, Lelouch turning his head to cover his
mouth with those long elegant fingers.
Blinking, Suzaku sat a little straighter, his hand already over a white piece
on the board, "What?" He asked. A smile couldn't help but creep into his own
features as he watched Lelouch almost silent chuckles into his hand.
Lelouch looked up at Suzaku, those bright violet eyes catching the sun in a
nigh perfect gleam. "Suzaku, I won—about four moves ago."
"No—" Suzaku looked down. He had several pawns, a bishop, both castles, and a
knight in his hand, but what there wasn't present was a King. Suzaku blinked
several more times before setting the knight back down. He looked away,
smiling. A single laugh did make its way out of his mouth, but he still
couldn't bring himself to face his date.
A cool hand on his cheek directed Suzaku back to look into those brilliant
violet irises. Lelouch had stood from his seat, one hand resting at the stone
chess board and with the other he held Suzaku's chin in his direction. Those
long black lashes batted with a slow blink as a thin-lipped smile spread on
Lelouch's face.
Lelouch breathe ghosted over Suzaku's face and for the first time in days he
was fully awake. He sat back or Lelouch pushed him back in his seat, either way
his back pressed against the wood of the bench seat. Suzaku's hands gripped the
black caste iron arm rests on either side as Lelouch inched ever closer.
Licking his lips, all thoughts that they were in public left him as Lelouch
leaned a bit closer tilting his head to the right.
Obeying the silent command, Suzaku tilted his own head to the right, making it
very clear he was ready any time Lelouch wanted to close the small gap between
them, or at least their lips. Feeling that warm breath across his lips,
Suzaku's eyes fluttered closed. It was too tempting and Suzaku's hands went up,
aiming to touch along that long pale neck, and he leaned forward up out of his
chair to just-
Closing the gap between them was so—so easy. And it was the only thing that had
come easy for so long. Suzaku surged upwards into the kiss. His hand had been
playing at the back of Lelouch's neck, sliding his fingers through long strands
of coal black hair. Only now Suzaku was clenching his fist, clawing on to a
hand full of Lelouch's hair, holding him trapped in the kiss.
Lelouch's shock was felt immediately as he jerked in Suzaku's hold.
Suzaku broke the kiss slow, letting his hold lax as he opened his eyes. Two
wide violet eyes met his gaze. Opening his mouth, Suzaku was already searching
for an apology. Then those eyes narrowed and thin lipped grin spread on
Lelouch's face.
"Check mate." Lelouch whispered against Suzaku's lips before he leaned forward
for a second kiss.
This kiss was softer, Lelouch the one to dictate in what manner they were to
take with the pressure applied to Suzaku's lips. Lelouch even went as far as to
brush Suzaku's hands away from his face. Suzaku thought about refuting
Lelouch's wishes, but instead relented into the gentle kiss, letting his hands
drop to the armrests at his sides. It was soft, it was gently. But best of all
it was so breathlessly easy. Handing over himself to Lelouch was probably a
little too easy, but fulfilling.
A cat call from across the grass clearing startled them both out of their own
little world. Lelouch's head snapped in that direction, a vengeful glare
marring his features. On the other hand, Suzaku was grateful for the
interruption. He raised his hand, now feeling he could, to slide his palm
against Lelouch's face. The night of their first date they had gone quite a bit
further than a closed lipped kiss across a chess, board, but this time it
felt—it was like a piece of them both had been shared, a little more than what
they had shared before.
Suzaku gave a smile, as Lelouch eyes flicked to look at him. In response,
Suzaku shook his head. He preferred they keep this sort of affection in
private. With the rest of his life, especially the secrets he thought sealed
away along time ago, on parade, he preferred that this be kept just between
them. Suzaku stood, and motioned for Lelouch to follow as he helped clear the
board of black and white pieces before taking Lelouch's hand and trailing his
way back through the park.
===============================================================================
He probably should have kept Lelouch downtown, attempted a second go at a small
cozy restaurant. It would have been ideal if Suzaku had changed from his tan
shorts, long sleeve gray shirt, and white short-sleeve button up shirt into a
nice suit and shined shoes.
Suzaku wasn't in a catering mood though. There was something about the closed
off space of his small apartment that made it feel like just maybe he would get
lucky enough that for a few hours the world outside wouldn't bother him. It was
wishful thinking, but it was easier to think about wrapping his arms around
Lelouch's middle and dragging him to the couch for another night, than to think
about the consequences of what Suzaku would be back up against on Monday
morning.
"You have no food!" Lelouch protested as he opened up Suzaku's pantry cupboard.
Ignoring the comment, Suzaku followed the other boy over to the pantry,
approaching him from behind. Suzaku let his head rest on Lelouch's shoulder as
his hands moved around Lelouch's waist, feeling the slender curve around to
Lelouch's stomach, dipping down Suzaku could feel the jut of his hip bone on
either side before locking his arms, folding them over Lelouch's stomach.
Lelouch gave an indignant sigh. Suzaku knew he was being obstinate, having
first refused to get something while they were downtown and now that they were
at his apartment, playing silent as Lelouch looked through his kitchen for
anything to eat. It was to the point Suzaku could almost feel Lelouch bristling
under him. So Suzaku managed to untangle one of his arms and throw it towards
his pantry. He got lucky, fumbling for the first box to reach his fingers he
handed it to Lelouch.
"Macaroni and cheese?" Lelouch said in a voice that implied he wasn't sure if
Suzaku was serious or not.
"I like Mac and cheese." Suzaku grumbled into Lelouch's shirt.
Lelouch flipped the box over in his hand to start reading the instructions.
"Alright," he said as he pried his fingers under the top cardboard flap to tear
it open.
With warm food in hand it was easier to persuade Lelouch to the couch with him.
It probably should have been a little embarrassing that it was—well it was his
bed, now with a couple of pillows a blanket and his alarm clock propped up on
the coffee table. Instead he cleared away some stray laundry with his foot and
tugged Lelouch down to the cushions with him.
===============================================================================
A walk of shame was never something that Lelouch had ever experienced. Sure,
he'd stumbled his way home the first time he'd managed to spend the night at
Suzaku's apartment, but that had been easy enough to pull a hood over his head
and not look at any one on the bus home. But now, being a Sunday, Lelouch
wouldn't be able to catch the bus for his eight am shift at work. Lelouch
managed to rut around until he found his shoes, sitting on the edge of the
couch, Suzaku still asleep slightly curled around him. He glanced back over his
shoulder, the thought tugging that it could be possible Suzaku never managed to
sleep with a shirt.
Lelouch didn't care though. It wasn't like anything had happened through the
course of the night. It was actually really warm to curl up against Suzaku's
bare skin.
A frown did tug at Lelouch's lips as he thought of the night. For being the
younger out of the two of them sometimes he felt like the one that was the
comforter. Not just because of the way Suzaku had dragged Lelouch to the couch
at barely eight, but—Suzaku hadn't said anything. But Lelouch was becoming
certain that Suzaku wasn't always in control and wasn't always aware of that
overpowering strength. It shouldn't surprise Lelouch, after all that toned,
tan, broad chest had been pressed against him now for two nights. It had been
the middle of the night, Lelocuh had woken as he felt Suzkua grip on his shift
form a comfortable cuddling to almost as if on the offensive. It was just the
way Suzaku's grip had tightened around Lelouch to the point Lelouch had to call
out, afraid Suzaku would succeed in breaking his wrists.
It had only been at the most the space of a couple minutes, Suzaku's grip on
him tightening and tightening, his face grieved in his slumber, then Lelouch
had called out, and startled and breathing hard, that broad chest heaving
Suzaku had woke. A part of Lelouch wondered if calling out had made it worse as
wide eyes opened and huge dilated pupils focused on Lelouch. Whatever it was,
tribute to his character, the first thing out of Suzaku's mouth was a stumbling
apology. He'd taken his hands off of Lelouch completely, opting that it was
better not to touch him at all rather than accidentally hurt him again.
When Lelouch had touched him, petting those cinnamon curls, Lelouch noticed his
body was drenched in sweat, his skin hot to the touch. Lelouch had wanted to
throw off the blanket but Suzaku had refused. So instead Lelouch had pulled
himself closer, inserting himself back in Suzaku's hold. When Suzaku had
finally let his head rest on Lelouch's shoulder was around the time Lelouch's
own eyes had started to widen. When Suzaku had drifted back into sleep, Lelouch
had continued to run his fingers through those soft curls, wondering who he
really had started to share a couch with for the night.
It was problems for another time. Once at work, Lelouch had no doubt that the
whirlwind of the day before would start to run like a reel in his head. So he
leaned down, helping to slip his second shoe on and tied it with quick hands.
As he finished, he felt Suzaku shift under the blanket next to him. Lelouch
turned to him, smiling at the groggy way Suzaku was watching him under the bed
head of hair. Lelouch wasn't sure how he was allowed to keep his hair so long
in the army, but Lelouch did have to say he much preferred it this length over
the traditional military buzz cut. Suzaku even managed to sit up, clearly
surprised as he looked at the clock on the coffee table.
"I think that's the latest I've slept in a few years." Suzaku said with a
chuckle. When he turned to see that unlike himself, Lelouch was dressed and
ready for the day he went on, "Are you leaving?"
"I have to work." Lelouch explained. "Besides the buses don't run until ten
today so I have to start out a bit early." He finished with his shoes to
straighten. He even felt Suzaku's hand resting on his back.
Looking a little guilty, Suzaku waited a moment before he spoke. "I wish I
could give you a ride."
Lelouch leaned back, shifting to fit against Suzaku's knee. "It's fine. I
realize you're not exactly organized right now. You've barely managed a cell
phone over the past few weeks, getting a car I'm sure will take you a while."
Suzaku did lean forward and place a soft kiss at the side of Lelouch's cheek.
"Well, once I get something you won't have to walk."
The term walk of shame came to mind again as Lelouch closed his eyes, letting
Suzaku coax as much of a cuddler as he could out of Lelouch. Lelouch even
relented, leaning his head to the side and onto Suzaku's neck, pressing his
forehead against Suzaku's neck. "I think," Lelouch let a sly smile stretch, "if
we keep this up, I would much rather enjoy it if you would invest in a bedroom
set."
Seeming to consider it, Suzaku pulled his arm around Lelouch's shoulders. "A
mattress would certainly give a bit more room than the two of us squeezing onto
this couch."
"I would settle for a bed, with sheets…and covers…a set of pillows would be a
plus." Lelouch decided that would be his compromise.
He was certainly considering it, Lelouch could see in the way that Suzaku
didn't say yes and he didn't say no, just looked down, seeming in thought. With
the prospect that Lelouch might stay over more if he did actually go the extra
mile and get Lelouch what he wanted, Suzaku most certainly was considering.
Lelouch looked up, flattered and happy that Suzaku would consider it and gave a
kiss to Suzaku's cheek. Even for the two of them it was turning out to be quite
an affectionate morning.
"I have to be going," Lelouch said as his hand found it's way up to trace along
Suzaku's jaw line. The rough stubble under Lelouch's fingers was a comfort all
on its own. It was nice to know that Suzaku was human too.
"Would you like some breakfast?" Suzaku asked, because he was that kind of
cordial person. He gave a chuckle. "I'm pretty sure there's some Mac and cheese
left."
Lelouch almost gagged at the thought. "As excited as I am over more food from a
box, I should have already left to be perfectly realistic." And if he was
perfectly realistic, Suzaku looked as if he could even use a couple more hours
of sleep.
Neither of them moved, and Suzaku even shifted forward, trying to subtly rest
his other arm around Lelouch's shoulders. Lelouch snuggled into the warm
embrace, nuzzling against that tan bare throat. There was nothing left to say
between them. Lelouch should have gotten up and left and Suzaku should have at
least shifted to let him go. This somehow just seemed a better option.
But Lelouch had to be at the café before eight o' clock and staying here any
longer would be cutting it close. With an inhale of breath Lelouch opened his
eyes and pushed himself up and away from Suzaku's ever warmer skin. There was a
moment of resistance, Suzaku tightening his arms. Then Suzaku relented and
Lelouch was allowed to stand. Suzaku looked a little unwilling but he went to
stand as well.
Of course, Lelouch knew Suzaku didn't want to get out of bed so he gave the
soldiers shoulders a shove back down. "I know where the front door is, you
don't need to show me." Lelouch said with his own chuckle.
He bent and kissed Suzaku's head before turning away from the door. "I'll text
you once I get to work, just to put you at ease."
Lelouch received some grumbled response but he was already halfway through the
door, ready to start his walk of shame.
===============================================================================
It was wishful thinking. The last day he had spent with Suzaku in the park,
stealing kisses and swiping flirtatious comments, settling into Suzaku's warm
embrace and eating food out of a box, all of it had been wishful thinking. And
that was all made very shockingly clear as Lelouch stepped outside of Suzaku's
apartment complex. The glass door had barely shut behind him when Lelouch
realized it would have been better to let Suzaku act all gentlemen like and
escort him to work.
How they had found such prime parking Lelouch hadn't a clue, but about ten feet
from him sat the sleek black car, silver and chrome lining, black tinted
windows, which could only belong to one man. The driver at the sight of Lelouch
stepped out and rushed to open the back door, holding out his hand in a
welcoming gesture. As the door was opened, the sunlight caught on the silver
lion crest detailed in the far back corner of the window.
"If you would sir," the driver said with a polite smile, bowing slightly.
Setting his jaw, Lelouch took slow long strides to the car, ducking his head as
he stepped into the car and slid into the seat. The driver shut the door behind
Lelouch and there was an audible click as the door locked.
With a wry smile Lelouch turned to look at his elder brother. "Do you really
think I'd try and escape after willingly stepping into this car?"
"With you Lelouch," Schneizel said next to him, his own pleasant smile on his
face, "I've learned that one can never be too careful."
Lelouch looked away to the window, "What is it now that I have done? What
unspoken rule have I violated by walking out on the street?" Raising his hand
to his mouth, Lelouch knew if he had to look at Schneizel while he spoke that
he'd lose it.
"Can I not give you a ride?" there was a rustle of Schneizel's overpriced suit.
Lelouch chanced a look in his brother's direction.
Schneizel moved his sleeve up to take a look at the silver watch on his wrist.
"After all, you might have been late to work if you had to walk all the way
there."
The muscles all long Lelouch's jaw flexed as Lelouch forced himself into
silence. "Of course," he gritted out in a small voice. It was unsettling that
Schneizel knew his work schedule, but Lelouch should have expected it—it was
worse to think about the fact that Schneizel knew exactly where to pick him up.
The hum of the car's engine started up and the driver looked back for the nod
from Schneizel to go ahead. The car blocked out any sounds from the world
around as it pulled out of the parking space and into traffic. They weren't
heading in the direction of Lelouch's work.
As Lelouch sat a little straighter to try and figure out where they were headed
to instead, he felt the feather touch of his brother's hand on his knee.
"We're just taking a bit of a scenic route." Schneizel explained, still wearing
that ever pleasant smile. "I wanted plenty of time to have a conversation with
you, I believe we're a bit overdue with this conversation after all."
Taking in a breath Lelouch finally turned to see those icy blue eyes watching
him.
"I find your choice of company is quite fascinating." Schneizel continued to
dangle his true motives right out of Lelouch's reach.
With a swallow, Lelouch knew he had to think through every word before he spoke
them. "I really don't think it's any of your business where or with whom I
choose to spend my time with when it is my free time."
There was a pause from Schneizel before the smile dampened. "Nothing is free,
Lelouch," Schneizel adjusted the cuffs of his suit. "Especially time, and
especially in a family with such responsibility as one with our status." He
spoke in a quiet tone but with no radio on and the sound barrier that the car's
interior provided Lelouch could hear ever horrible word.
"Well, you must feel relieved that we don't share the same last name." Lelouch
was sure that it was probably the truth at this point in the embarrassment that
his small branch of the family had caused. If there was one thing that Senator
Charles wasn't known for tolerance towards it was embarrassment and with
Marianne acting less than ladylike, Lelouch was sure he'd had to endure more
shame than he'd had to deal with in quite some time.
They were quiet again. Lelouch noticed that the car was not only taking quite a
route to his café shop job at Barnes and Nobel, but the car was probably going
at least five to ten under the speed limit. The driver was still sitting in the
front, completely silent.
"Lelouch, as family we are trying to be a resource, opening up opportunities
for you that will potentially give you the life of independency you seem so
intent on, but—" Schneizel stalled just long enough to consider his next words
very carefully. "There is the issue of Nunnally, unlike you she can't be
expected to have to carry a mansion full of relics and a mother draining your
home dry. She's not like you, and she never will be."
Lelouch glared at his brother, clamping his mouth shut yet again. Making it
about compassion, making it into an issue of Nunnally's safety and comfort,
making it seem as if they actually cared about what happened to them was
sinking to a whole new realm.
"Leave my sister, leave my family out of this, Schneizel." Lelouch hissed in a
low voice. "I have worked to sever all ties to all of you and I won't have you
reconstituting those ties in pleas of kindness and loving family caring."
"And that is why we both know I'm here." Schneizel shot back, in his own clear,
calm voice. "There is no way to just ignore your absence at our family table.
We miss you, Lelouch, we want to open our arms to you"
Again about the compassion that Schneizel and Lelouch both knew were a lie.
"Family members are tossed aside all the time. If it's the visits from Euphemia
that you don't like, fine," Nunnally wouldn't like it all but—"I'll make sure
she stays away. She's the only real tie left to the family and I'm sure she'd
understand that with a mother like mine we can't keep being a drag on her
reputation. Wouldn't want to hurt any of those opportunities provided by the
family,"
Schneizel's calm cool eyes shifted to watch Lelouch, and he even moved his hand
up, resting it along the back of the of the pristine dark leather seats. It
startled Lelouch out of his own gloom of thought when he felt Suzaku's cool
fingers ghosting at the side of his face. His muscles on instinct tightened and
his body contracted to make himself seem smaller under his brother's
overwhelming size and intimidating natural authority. Lelouch could feel as
Schneizel's large hand shifted, barely making contact as it cupped the back of
Lelouch's head, his fingers brushing though Lelouch's inky strands.
"Oh my dear naïve brother," Schneizel hummed, sliding far closer than was
comfortable for Lelouch. "Do you really think this is over Euphie's little
visits to your oh so quaint home?"
The hair on the back of Lelouch's neck sprang up as Schneizel loomed ever
closer, the breath as he spoke freezing over Lelouch's already placid skin. It
was for one a partly straight forward conversation but Lelouch still felt like
he was wading through dark murky water, trying to figure out what was in
Schneizel's own agenda and what was for his father's agenda. Lelouch was sharp
as a tack and a good talker, but his father already had that in Schneizel, why
would he need Lelouch, and what could he possibly need him for?
"I can't stop my mother's behavior," Lelouch knew his words would be stronger
if he could manage to look away from the window to face his brother, but he was
sure that if he did he might just crumble under the glacier gaze of his
brother. "Believe me, I've tried. I have managed to keep her away from the
family as much as possible which I will continue to do as long as you leave us
alone."
A part of Lelouch wanted to believe that a brief moment of a blunt and straight
forward offer would win out, somehow, some way that Lelouch could just see a
small glimmer of hope. He closed his eyes, feeling those long fingers at the
side of his head, moving now, petting through Lelouch's hair as if Schneizel
was just humoring Lelouch's desperate pleas for independence. Lelouch took in
another shaky breath as he felt Schneizel give an amused chuckle, the man's
chilling breath on Lelouch's neck again.
God help them if this didn't work, god help them if they were ever forced to
move back into that hell hole of backstabbing games and snide gossip every time
one turned their head. God would be the only person that could help them if
Lelouch was forced to watch those gothic iron gates of the Britannian main
estate close behind him and his sister.
"My, my," Schneizel moved his other hand to Lelouch's face.
Instantly Lelouch on instinct jerked away from the touch inadvertently trapped
as his head bumped into the large hand cupping the back of his head. Trapped
Lelouch couldn't bare to direct his gaze properly, but he knew he was still to
be pleasantly polite, still follow the rules or his sibling wouldn't hesitate
to take what was wanted by force. So following those rules, Lelouch let his
head rest in Schneizel's hand, forced himself to relax.
On cue, as if rewarding Lelouch like some sort of dog, Schneizel started to pet
through Lelouch's hair again with his other hand, petting the hair away from
Lelouch's face. "I never thought you would act so desperate to get away from
us. I guess the people you think you know the most are always the ones that
tend to surprise you."
Lelouch had to close his mouth again, anger flaring a the suggestion that he
was desperate—even if he really was, the gall to mention it made Lelouch's jaw
tighten again. His eyes cracked open, if only slits the directed straight to
his brother stoic face, that creeping smile still present. As their eyes made
contact that cold smile quirked just a bit, widening.
He hated their games! Lelouch hated to be forced to play their game so much.
Leaving that house was the best thing he'd ever done for him and his sister.
Lelouch could still remember the day they had been moved out of the Britannian
estate house. His mother had been in tear s as they moved into the upper-class
house that they still lived in. It was the first step to separation that
Charles had made towards Marianne. She knew it immediately and while the movers
had carried in their expensive things and their family photo's Marianne had
cried. Nunnally had started to cry too, mostly from the fact her mother
wouldn't stop crying. But Lelouch was elated. He was elated and relieved and it
was the first day as still a little boy barely about to become a teen he'd
rolled up his sleeves and set to work. He had been the one to direct the
movers. He had been the one to help Sayoko set up their house, he had been the
one to see that Nunnally got to bed that night and he had been the one to
accept the change and know it was for the better. His mother had started on
refrain shortly after.
Narrowing his eyes, Lelouch hated to think that this burden his mother was so
incapable of dealing with had been shoved onto his shoulders. He wanted to jerk
his face out of Schneizel's hold but instead he watched his elder brother.
Reactions were what Schneizel loved from Lelouch after all.
"If you would please inform your driver, I'm sure that it's very nearly eight
and as you have pointed out, I have work at eight." Lelouch swallowed after
speaking, needing a drink of water, or may be just still nervous.
Not releasing his hold, Schneizel slid closer, his knee skimming against
Lelouch's thigh. "I'm sure he's very aware of that." Schneizel snapped for the
first time. "I believe, we were discussing more serious manners."
Lelouch looked away. "Right," He could debate the importance of his job but
that would ultimately fall on deaf ears to a man trying to ruin his life.
Over the minor distraction Schneizel started to glide his fingers across
Lelouch's cheekbone. "Your appearance is really quite unique for our family."
Schneizel never was fond of whispering its seemed, but he always had a way of
dropping his voice, discretely relaying information without the demeaning
action of making a show of it. "Even Nunnally bares the unmistakable
resemblance to our father. But not you."
It was a reaction, but Lelouch couldn't hold himself back as Schneizel
approached closer, shifting up on one knee on the seat. Lelouch slid back into
the cushions, sinking down on the leather. Unfortunately it was exactly as
Schneizel wanted probably since now the whole weight of Lelouch's head was
being supported by Schneizel's broad hand, holding Lelouch's head up, still to
the side so with his free hand Schneizel could manage to move his fingers from
Lelouch's prominent cheek bone to slide his fingers through his hair.
Holding some of the coal black strands up, laced between his finger tips as if
it was feather light and just as fragile, Schneizel continued. "Color just like
your mothers, soft like Nunnally's and so vibrant against your skin." Schneizel
let the strands drop through his fingers as he moved his hand again moving them
in a feather light touch across Lelouch's skin again.
"Sir," The driver in the front said in a low tone as he pulled the car into
park in front of the Barnes and Noble.
He was promptly ignored as Schneizel adjusted closer, placing his hand on the
door this time. With his hand supporting Lelouch's head he slowly turned
Lelouch to look at him.
As Lelouch's eyes widened, making clean eye contact with those icy blue eyes he
felt like a child again, having no choice but to play the game to try and
survive.
When his brother moved in closer was when Lelouch's prying fingers finally
found the handle on the door. When the shiver ran through Lelouch's spine as
Schneizel skimmed his nose across the skin at Lelouch's throat was when Lelouch
closed his eyes and pulled on the door handle.
The repercussions of his actions would be dealt with later, but Lelouch
scrambled out to the car as fast as he could manage, scrambling out from under
his brothers hold. Much to Lelouch's astonishment, Schneizel let him go as
well, not even putting up resistance as Lelouch stole out from under him,
stumbling out onto the street, knees a little shaky and eyes still just as
wide. In contrast, Schneizel sat back, keeping himself in perfect composure.
Schneizel easily claimed his victory as Lelouch stood like a deer caught in the
headlights in the middle of the sidewalk.
As a token of added cruelty, Schneizel smiled at his brother as he spoke. "It
is very interesting who you spend your time with. I'll be sure to let the Major
know how hard you tried on his behalf."." Schneizel closed the door to the car,
rolling down the window just enough that Lelouch could see those brilliant
glacier brimmed eyes. "Also, our dear Euphie will be coming over tonight, I'd
best advise that you be there when she arrives."
And just as Lelouch lunged forward, to desperate ot think, the car window
rolled up. Just as Lelouch's fists hit the glass the driver started the engine.
It pulled out into traffic again before Lelouch could get in another hit.
In his rage, he stood there in an empty parking place, breath heaving in and
out of his chest, a snarl marred on his face. He hated this game, but he hated
when he lost the game even more.
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Five
Perfect Strangers
6/24/2012 8:00 PM
===============================================================================
Two born and raised soldiers stood a good distance away from each other, on
either side of them was rows of metal bunk beds. It was the barracks that just
a couple of years before Suzaku had entered as the youngest recruit there. It
was the same place that Toudou had received his first rank of responsibility,
receiving Suzaku and his brothers–in-arms as his first group of men to lead
through the grim and muck of a war zone. It had been the place where both of
their lives had matured into something real, something they could be proud of.
It was the place that had started each of their journeys.
"You're going with Bismarck's offer?" Toudou looked grim as he watched down at
his hands. A tattered and worn metal was in his hands. He wasn't fiddling with
it or even fidgeting mindlessly, His attention was on the medal, his thumb
running across the thin gold-plated surface. "After all those letters, you're
finally giving in to his offer."
Across the barracks, standing at full attention Suzaku gave a sigh. He'd known
that Toudou wouldn't approve of his new course of action. His hands behind his
back, legs an equal distance apart, Suzaku was dressed in full military honors.
His boots were shined and all of those shiny, horribly little pins were on his
chest.
"Bismarck's unit is very—" Suzaku wasn't sure what word to use, "active."
Catching Tohdoh's attention, the man finally looked up from the little metal.
He studied his would-be pupil for a moment before straightening, Toudou asked,
"Do you really miss it that much?"
Suzaku wasn't startled by the question, but he was ashamed, ashamed of the
answer he knew that if he was being honest, the answer he would give Toudou.
Saying it would seem more shameful though, so Suzaku looked down at his boots
instead.
"I know you've had a hard time coming back." Toudou voiced as he started his
way forward. "Civilian life after immersing yourself that much in operations
like ours becomes—mundane. But it's life, Suzaku. There won't always be a war
that needs fighting." Toudou stopped a few extra feet away from Suzaku.
Suzaku looked up, noticing the wide rift between them. It was only growing from
the moment they had split ways. "Bismarck's unit—"
"Are thieves and pillagers. Bismarck wasn't always a soldier, Captain
Kururugi." Toudou always had a way of stopping Suzaku dead in his tracks. "I've
gone through his files, for men long before you boy, and Bismarck's unit might
as well be a death mill for how many young soldiers have had to go in to fix
their mistakes."
It had always been hard to face that stern, expectant face, especially now that
Suzaku knew he was throwing everything that he'd done under his commander in
his face to run back to a battle field Toudou had worked so hard to get Suzaku
out of.
"Bismarck worked for years as a contract mercenary before magically being
placed in command of his own, in many aspects, rouge unit. This isn't a man who
thinks about the consequences of his foolish actions. He never thinks about
what he's doing, he just does it regardless of right or wrong."
And that was Suzaku's reason. Right there, Suzaku knew Toudou was throwing this
in his face because it was why Suzaku was doing it. Sometimes it was just
easier to just follow orders than to think about if what he was doing was right
or wrong.
"Principles matter, Captain," What Toudou meant was, I taught you better, I
taught you what matters and it's not the money.
It had made Toudou very unpopular over the years, that principle thinking had
made him an enemy in a system that operated on the grace of corrupt senators
and twisted agendas. And soldiers had flocked to him, Toudou had been barred
from promotions for as long as could be had, but now that he was a Major—there
was no stopping a freight train already on the tracks.
"I have a plane to catch, sir." Suzaku resigned as he looked up from his boots.
"You know," Toudou showed the small medal in his hands. "this is the first
medal I ever received." Toudou looked long and hard down at the little piece of
metal. "I just remember the three men that died on the way to getting this
metal."
Uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation Suzaku looked away with an
awkward lump in his throat. "Sir," he couldn't finish. It was harder than he'd
ever thought to face his commanding officer. For some odd reason, Suzaku
thought he'd be able to just give a salute and leave without much more than a
couple of sentences of adieu.
Toudou gave a solid, single nod. "Alright." He looked straight at Suzaku
though. "Just remember that I will have a place for you. When you realize who
you're working for, what kind of people you're working for, you can return to
this battalion."
"Thank you, sir," Suzaku said as he turned away. He really did have a plane to
catch. He would be meeting Bismarck's small, specialized unit within the next
twelve hours. His first mission was to be completed within the next twenty
four. And unlike his place with Toudou, Suzaku was responsible for no other
lives but his own. Unlike under Toudou, Suzaku didn't have to think about what
he was doing and what was driving him, it was just do and be done.
"Kururugi!" Toudou called as Suzaku made it to the doors, one hand on handle.
Suzaku looked back, looking for possibly the last time to the man who had been
his first commanding officer.
"You're a good soldier." Toudou called. "You're an excellent soldier, but—just
remember that you're human."
Whatever Toudou meant, Suzaku let it drift over his head as he gave a nod for
both acknowledgement and goodbye. Then he opened the door and walked out into
the night at a brisk pace, leaving Toudou behind.
===============================================================================
He was spoiled. Having Lelouch as a partner meant whenever Suzaku wanted coffee
he usually got really good coffee. If he ordered it from the small shop just
around the corner, Lelouch usually just surprised Suzaku with something Lelouch
thought he would like. When they were at Suzaku's apartment—well, Lelouch
tended to be in control of the kitchen all together, but coffee was something
that he kept in good control. Lelouch if nothing else always handed Suzaku a
steaming cup of awesomeness whenever he was over, spending the night or not.
And he was spoiling Suzaku to the point of no return.
Thinking about how he would have liked to be sitting on his couch, his arms
comfortably wrapped around Lelouch and in hand a warm cup of coffee. Suzaku got
a little carried away and tried to image what Lelouch would have put in his
coffee. Chai maybe—or wait now, Lelouch had found Suzaku's weakness for Irish
cream. That's probably what he would give him if they were at his apartment.
Lelouch knew that Irish cream would make Suzaku feel warm and cozy and they'd
probably start to curl into each other and just drift into an easy conversation
before realizing what time it was they might pull the blankets over them, still
talking about nothing and everything.
Sighing there was absolutely none of that reflecting back at him in the dark
liquid in his cup. But still trying to be an optimist Suzaku raised the cup to
his lips and took a sip. He swallowed before turning to the sink and dumping
the cold and awful coffee down the sink. It was horrendous compared to anything
he usually drank.
When he turned back to the instant coffee maker he tossed in another packet and
flipped the switch. There was a practical reason for this. He needed the
coffee—he needed to stay awake. There was no chance for Lelouch to come over
for the next week or so and sleeping alone was getting—shitty coffee in the
middle of the night on base was a better option. Nights for which he had to go
home usually reverted to going to the gym. That was getting a little awkward.
There was always the same girl at the front desk to swipe his membership card
and Suzaku was pretty sure she was getting suspicious. The only option left was
to start pencil pushing and stay as ahead on work as was humanly possible.
The coffee machine beeped loud at him and Suzaku flipped it off, pouring
another cup. It was scolding hot, but with a shrug Suzaku lifted the cup to
take a sip.
"God damn, why did you dump that out?"
Suzaku turned to the door just in time to see a younger soldier he'd seen come
in along with some others from Toudou's unit.
"Uh," Suzaku stumbled.
She was looking at him like he'd just somehow affronted her entire family. That
baleful ocean blue gaze didn't falter as she took a step forward. In her
private's uniform she'd grunged down for after hours. Her jacket was gone,
shirt was unbuttoned and the tie was nowhere to be found. Suzaku himself had
removed his uniform jacket, but really there was a point where Suzaku even knew
not to go, after hours or not. Besides that was the fact she was dressed like a
man. A skirt wasn't required anymore for women—but still. In Suzaku's opinion
it looked nicer.
He snapped out of his book cover assessment to answer. "It was cold. So I
didn't think anyone would mind." He didn't think anyone was here besides him
for starters but that was clearly proven wrong. "It didn't taste all that great
either so I figured it would be fine." He went on as he replaced the new pot
he'd just made back in the coffee machine.
If he'd received a glare from the woman before this than it was probably just a
prologue to the glare he was getting now. She took out another mug from a
cabinet rolling her eyes as she looked away from him to the cabinet.
In hopes of somehow mending the situation of getting off on such an apparently
horrendous start, Suzaku tried again. "I'm sorry." He said a bit uneasy.
"For what?" She growled as she pushed past him to get to the coffee machine.
She took out the newly brewed pot and poured some in her mug.
Suzaku was a little lost but he kept pushing forward. "…I'm not sure how but it
seems I've somehow offended you."
She raised an eyebrow at him as she turned to look at him. "Well aren't you
rather pathetic." She took a nonchalant sip from her mug.
Suzaku was—well he was a bit taken back to be perfectly honest. He'd been
called pathetic in his life before—but not since he was ten. Indigent to the
rude approach, Suzaku leaned back against the counter, setting his jaw but
knowing that politeness was a better approach he went on ahead with the
apology. "I'm sorry that I tried to make up for my short comings."
"Right, do you grovel like that to everyone?" the private sneered at him over
her coffee with a stoic expression on her face.
Suzaku took in a breath. Dealing with bullies never got him in anything but
trouble. It was better to turn the other cheek and maintain some semblance of
civility than to start an argument over nothing. "I'll make sure to check
before I make a new pot of coffee in the future." He said as he turned to the
door to start back to his office.
"That wasn't an answer to my question!" the private called after him.
He ignored her and just took another sip of his coffee as he continued to his
office. Suzaku had enough to wrestle with in his life—dealing with a
belligerent co-worker wasn't something he felt needed to be added to his very
long list of problems.
===============================================================================
The parlor was so quiet Lelouch could hear the ticking of the grandfather clock
next to the fireplace. He just sat there looking down at his hands. If he
really paid attention he could hear the sound of himself grinding his teeth.
His hands were fisted in his lap, his hair combed and parted as best he could.
He was dressed in the nice suit he knew he would have worn usually only at his
father's estate. The suit coat hung heavy and lank off his shoulders. It'd been
so long since he'd played the role of dutiful son, and never anywhere but in
the presence of his father.
And yet—this was his home.
It felt nothing like his home. Sitting in his parlor, his maid serving tea on
the coffee table, surrounded by his own things he just felt—encroached upon.
His family was part of the elites, he'd always tried to act like the elite
stock he knew he was from—but now was just so—
"Lelouch," Euphemia said. She sat across form him. Her eyes wide she watched
him from across the coffee table. She sat straight up, even leaning a bit
forward towards Lelouch. She was alert and watchful, her mouth hung open as if
she wanted to say something more but just couldn't find the right thing to say.
She was dressed accordingly as well, in a soft pastel yellow dress. The fabric
was ruffled a bit, uncustomary to her usually whimsical appearance. Compared to
the somber form of Lelouch, she was an entirely different dimension of anxiety.
"Thank you, Sayoko." Lelouch spoke for the first time in a long while. He
didn't look up, didn't move to take the cup of tea left on the table before
him.
There was silence again.
This time Euphemia shifted forward, the sound of her dress wrinkling was just
before she spoke. "Please Lelouch," she said, her voice with just a slight
tremble this time.
He wasn't as versed in the game as he should have been. Because of that Lelouch
had lost to his family now twice and was now being reined back in. His family
was tightening the noose around his neck and it was all because—he'd lost the
game. He used to dominate to the point he'd weaseled his way into a house far
away from his family, he'd managed to isolate himself and his sister as best he
could. And he'd learned to thrive in the limbo between the average world around
him and the bubble of his family. And somewhere along the way he'd lost his
feel for what communication really was like in his family.
Lelouch let his eyes flick up towards his sister. He opened his mouth so ready
to just relent and lull back into that sinkhole that let him just imagine that
his father wasn't looming over him, his brother was out to strangle him, his
life wasn't careening out of control—but there was something's that couldn't be
forgiven. And forgoing his trust was one of those things.
Lelouch was wide awake now. Now that he'd been threatened with only the tip of
the iceberg of what Schneizel could do, Lelouch had come shatteringly awake.
And he planned to keep it that way. And so be it if he had to burn every bridge
on the way. This was war, and there was casualty in war. There always would be
and he was determined to keep his sister out of that list.
"We're happy to have you here, Euphemia." He spoke in a low level tone as he
watched her through the shad of his long fringe. "You're welcome to stay as
long as you like,"
"Lelouch," this was the first real crack in her voice. "Please, Lelouch, don't
do this." She begged, her hands fidgeted nervously in her lap. The anxiety was
starting to become even clearer. It was hard to see, but after years of knowing
her Lelouch could see the red splotches on her face starting to flare.
He took a deep breath before standing. "Please give my regards to our father
when you see him next." Lelouch spoke as he turned away.
"No, don't do this Lelouch." He could hear the tremble in her voice as she
still sat there in his parlor. "Please don't do this." He could hear the first
gasp as she started to break, gasping for breath as she scrambled for a
handkerchief.
He looked away to the floor. "I have to leave for work." He said in solid tone.
His eyes were so low his eye lashes almost obscured his violet irises from
view. It was harder than he imagined to do this to her.
"Please, don't. You're the only one I have left. Don't be like this." If the
cracking in her tone, handkerchief held up to her face to keep from trying to
show her weakness
It was when he heard the first sob break that Lelouch looked behind himself. He
couldn't keep this limbo up and expect to win against any fight—but he could—he
stepped closer to his sister, coming up to the side of the couch. Taking the
handkerchief he raised it to her face and wiped away the streaming tears.
"Crying is never very becoming.' He said in a soft tone.
When he was done he sat at the edge of the couch. He didn't smile, didn't even
look her straight in the eye he just sat there for a moment.
"You don't have to be like that." Euphemia said in a quiet tone. "I know you,
and you're not like them. That's why you left, I know, you aren't like that."
She was still crying though, seemingly against her own willingness to stop.
With the handkerchief, Lelouch whipped away the new wave of streaming tears. He
didn't say anything. And it stayed like that for a few minutes, time passing
without much count, before Lelouch looked up.
"I don't think that you're like that either." Lelouch said. He looked back
down. This wasn't going to make anything easier in the long run.
"I don't think any of us are like this!" Euphemia shot back with a sniffle
again. "We're not like this."
Lelouch looked at her with emotionless eyes. She was betraying him and she
didn't even know it. She was sinking her own ship and she was too blind to see
it. He leaned forward, kissing her on the forehead before leaning back to stand
again. "I have to go now." He said as he looked away from her.
She grabbed at his hand. Both of her pale delicate hands striking out to grip
Lelouch's palm in a vice like grip.
He did stop. But it was a lot harder if he looked back so instead he turned
just enough to place his hand over his dear sisters and squeezed, just enough
to let her know he'd be there if she ever decided to finally take those hard
and long steps he was about to take himself. It was the steps he so dearly
wished she would take. Her grip on him weakened and she leaned forward again as
if she was almost willing to take that leap of faith forward.
But she didn't—and Lelouch couldn't wait for her.
He spared one last glance back at her before continuing forward. Those delicate
fingers tightened for just half a second before they released and as Lelouch
took another step forward, her hand slipped away. Lelouch didn't have to look
to know that her hand hung there for a just moment, reaching for him until—her
hand dropped limp into her lap.
A few minutes later Lelouch reentered the entry way of the house, coming down
the stairs with his wallet and pulling on his jacket. He was dressed for work
and had his house keys in hand, shoving them in his pocket as he passed the
parlor doorway, trying not to look up as he went to the door.
There was a part of Lelouch that just wanted to—to go back to the parlor, put
his 3-piece suit back on and sit back next to his sister and just—he looked
back. Just a glance was enough to propel him forward this time as he flung the
front door open and charged down the walkway. He already knew he shouldn't have
taken that last look, he shouldn't have turned at all. It would never leave him
now—the image of his dear older sister, sitting there in a rumpled and solemn
mess of sorts, face in her hands.
===============================================================================
"What is that?" Lelouch spoke up as Suzaku came back through his office door.
Lelouch leaned back against Suzaku's desk, impatiently waiting as Suzaku
shuffled through the motions to be able to leave work. Not that he'd been
waiting long, he just clearly didn't like waiting in Suzaku's office alone, but
Lelouch had been the one to duck into the office the second he'd arrived.
Suzaku looked in the direction of Lelouch's outstretched gesture to the gun
mounted on the wall. It was a relic of the previous owner of the office and for
some reason had been left behind when Suzaku moved in.
"That?" Suzaku said in disbelief that Lelouch was even mildly interested.
"That's a Les Baer TR Special .223 Caliber."
It was a second of Lelouch blinking at him several times before Suzaku gave a
smile and took the long gun down to give an answer in American English. "This
is a very high powered gun, that is very expensive and ultimately in this
office," Suzaku flipped the safety switch and pulled the clip out, "completely
useless." He showed the empty clip to Lelouch. "Besides it's basically a fancy
sniper rifle and is unfortunately quite heavy so to be able to get an accurate
shot you'd need a gun rest and I'd at least prefer a scope."
Lelouch stepped forward to look at the long gun, "So it's an office show
piece?" A smile quirked as he went on, "I'm guessing you didn't put this up?"
"Course not," replacing the useless weapon back on the wall between two empty
bookcases, Suzaku still took care with the gun, know that even though it wasn't
his preferred weapon it still required his respect.. "It's a hand me down of
the old occupant of this office." He turned back to Lelouch. "I can't decide if
it held some significant meaning or if the former owner was a simple pencil
pusher and wanted something in here to soldier him up a little."
Lelouch leaned back against the desk. "My guess is it's compensation for lack
of masculinity in a masculine dominated environment." Lelouch placed his hands
on the desk and hopped up to sit on the edge. "My question is what would you
put there if that gun wasn't taking up the space?"
His first answer would have been, well nothing. The less he had to move out
when he was shipped back out to Bismarck's unit the better. But humoring the
theory Suzaku turned with a smile. "A 2001 Cheytac .408 caliber."
"A bigger gun?" Lelouch guessed.
Displaying mock disgust at Lelouch's simplification, Suzaku gave a snort. "A
much bigger gun, I'll have you know! It's a useful gun."
"Oh right," Lelouch said. He gave a sly smile though, letting his head cock to
the side.
Suzaku took a step closer to continue his defense. "If I had to fill the space
it would be a gun I could at least use, I'd make sure to hide a gun tripod in
the book case and with the Cheytac there's no way any threat could get through
the doors of this office."
Hooking his leg around Suzaku's calf Lelouch tugged him forward to raise his
hands to Suzaku's chest. "I'm mildly shocked, but I think that this might
actually be working."
A raise in his eyes brow brought Suzaku back to look down at Lelouch. "I've
managed to convince you I'm the real deal, masculine soldier in a masculine
dominated environment?"
"Without a doubt," Lelouch purred, "Plus, to be honest, it's kind of a turn on
when you talk about guns."
At the mention of that Suzaku took a step forward. "Oh really? I'll have to
keep that in mind as a potential seduction method in my arsenal."
"If it's from you I think I'd be okay with being assaulted with such a
seduction method." Lelouch gave a sneaky smile. "I'll be sure to press charges
later of course; I mean I could use your money as well."
"I'm sure you will." Suzaku said pushing off from the desk. "Come on, I'm done,
so we can finally leave."
Lelouch got off the desk, slinging his bag back over his head, sliding the
messenger bag to its usual place at his side. When he looked up he watched
Suzaku pull on his uniform coat before walking around the desk again, sliding
in his chair and picking up the small buckle briefcase.
In all honestly, Lelouch hadn't wanted to come, too afraid he may run into
certain family members, but at seven in the evening he doubted that Cornelia
would be at work still and it had been the most convenient to meet Suzakuat his
office before they went to dinner. And with little to no one left at the base
Suzaku was more at ease with Lelouch, even hooking a hand to a weak hold of
Lelouch's arm as he led them out of the office.
They made it to the coffee machine before they were forced to turn at the call,
"Kururugi!"
Suzaku was the one to turn first, dropping his hold on Lelouch's arm, as a
female soldier jogged up to them. Oceanic eyes were narrow as she rounded on
Suzaku.
"Where is that air strike report? Toudou asked you for it yesterday."
Lelouch had never looked up or ever even taken an interest in rankings of
military but he had a hunch from the vagrant way that the women spoke and the
half step Suzaku had slid into, standing a littler straighter his head cocked
just a tad, and eye brow so close to ticking into an arch, this woman was
overstepping her rank.
"Private Kozuki," Suzaku started, but smiled pleasant and cordial, "I gave that
report to Coronel Toudou two hours ago."
"Well it didn't go through me." the woman persisted.
He couldn't hear it, but Lelouch could feel as Suzaku gave a sigh, wanting to
just go out probably. "I'll get you a copy really fast." Suzaku said as he
started back to his office.
Lelouch took a step to follow, but Suzaku held up his hand to stop him before
continuing to his office. As he opened the door to the dark office, Lelouch
caught a glimpse of Suzaku's hand raised to his face, pinching the bridge of
his nose. Hiding his own indignation wasn't easy as Lelouch shuffled on his
feet.
"So are you a relative or is Kururugi your baby sitter?" the woman abruptly
asked.
Turning his head to the blunt woman, Lelouch knew his eyes were narrowing as he
spoke. "We're dating."
"Right, so Kururugi like's the preppy school boys, does he?" she continued to
jab at the prospect of an insult.
Feathers ruffled at the fact she was kind of right, Lelouch straightened just a
tad. "And you get off on antagonizing those around you in a justification of
your own foul outlook on life. Everyone has something."
"Touché," the woman huffed. "But that wasn't a denial."
Lelouch gave a noncommittal shrug. "I could flail aimlessly around explaining
I'm a second year in college with a 4.0 grade average, majoring in Biological
Engineering, as well as student body V.P. and in all actuality that simply
proves that Major Kururugi just prefers someone with the proper intellect to
know he'd dating me for more than the fact I look younger than I am, but
really, I think throwing your own brand of ammunition back in your face is more
effective in this instance."
"Wow, what a mouth full, but you sure it's not that pretty face and perk ass
he's after?" the woman cross her arms as the first sign of a smile quirked, her
hip snapping to the side with the action.
"Well, I do his taxes for him," Lelouch said as his violet eyes flicked up, and
gave a sly smile.
He was rewarded with a full smile from the woman. "He's a self-righteous prick-
"
"And he can't manage to do his own laundry in a timely manner, can't cook food
that doesn't have a box and constantly has the bad habit of trying to tell me
what to do and what to think," Lelouch fixed that woman in his gaze, "I fully
realize that Suzaku has a few down sides."
She was smiling now, closed lipped and a bit smug, but she was smiling. She
opened her mouth to say something but the Suzaku's office door opened and
Suzaku rushed out just as the woman closed her mouth again.
"Here you are, Private Kozuki," Suzaku politely handed off the report in
question before stepping back towards Lelouch.
"Right," the woman said as she turned, "See you around, school boy." She
hollered over her shoulder as she retreated down the hall.
As she disappeared around the corner Suzaku turned to look at Lelouch, an eye
brow raised as he spoke.
This time it was Lelouch who took up Suzaku's arm and led him towards the door,
"Come on, It's been at least an hour since we made reservations and I'm
starving."
===============================================================================
And he was back. Sitting in that chair across from the fiercest woman Suzaku
was pretty sure he had even come across. Even Kouzaki wasn't like Cornelia.
Suzaku doubted there was another woman on the entire planet that compared to
Coronel Britannia.
His eyes drifted up to the bookshelf housing the long career of achievement.
That same photo of Cornelia in the arctic, brazen boot marking her victory,
pressed on the skull of that dead polar bear. That wasn't what was bearing down
on Suzaku though from that photo. It was those eyes. Those dead, lifeless dark
eyes of the polar bear drew Suzaku's gaze and almost made him shrink back all
at the same time. There was no way not to look down at that bear, blood
drooling out of its slack jaw. Suzaku frowned at the way Cornelia combat boot
seemed to almost grind the bears head deeper into the snow.
In all reality, Suzaku was shocked he was back in this office at all. The last
meeting like this hadn't ended exactly in flowers and well wishes. And Suzaku
hadn't exactly come crawling back. It was more like scrambling out of the way.
Every time he's seen the Coronel or one of her loyalist cronies Suzaku had
quickly been finding a reason to slink back into his office as quietly as
possible.
There wasn't much escaping though when he had been ordered to report.
So he sat there waiting, and knowing that he wasn't going to be the first one
to speak. What was the point. Just about everything in his life had been talked
about between the two of them. It was actually quite possible that Cornelia
knew more about Suzaku than anyone else in the entire town.
In fact, that was very believable since the one person that did know at least a
bit more about him, in all reality knew pretty much nothing about him. That was
the great part all about Lelouch, they talked about nothing important with each
other and then they made out and then they spent the night together. Their
relationship was damn near perfect.
Suzaku glanced up, just to make sure he wasn't spacing out on something he
shouldn't. Of course, Cornelia hadn't even looked up. She still just kept
plugging away at the paperwork before her.
And Suzaku was back to thinking about Lelouch. This whole thing of having
dinner once –okay maybe more like twice a week was turning out awesome! It was
so great to just be able to call Lelouch up and go out to eat with him at
whatever random restaurant they picked for the night and he could just forget
about everything but getting Lelouch back to the apartment.
"Kururugi,"
Suzaku snapped to attention. Eyes wide he looked up and straightened his
posture enough to be passable. He'd almost forgotten that he was sitting in the
Coronel's office.
"Ma'am." Suzaku said in return.
She wasn't even looking up yet, now appearing to be writing something down on a
small piece of note paper.
"I have spoken to Bismarck." She said it so casual, that stern look still on
her face.
This perked Suzaku up. It was life or death now. He sat very impatiently now,
waiting for Cornelia to go on.
"He says you were an impeccable soldier." Cornelia said with a poised peck of
her pen onto the note she was writing.
"Thank you, ma'am." Suzaku said with a brisk nod.
"I said 'were' not 'is.'" Cornelia said as she looked up. The hard line of
those finely manicured eyebrows lowered just a bit as now those cold eyes
focused on Suzaku.
This time Suzaku wasn't sure what exactly to say.
"It's obvious that there is something holding you back." She said it as if she
was annoyed by it all. "And whatever that 'something' is, it can no longer be
tolerated if you wish to still regain the rank and reputation you were once
worthy to have."
"Coronel, "Suzaku started. "Look, that incident was jus—" just what? and
accident? A mishap? A moment of memory lapse? What really was that moment to
Suzaku? "A slip up." In the most rudimentary way possible. It had been a slip
up of him as a soldier, letting his life interfere. A slip up as him as just a
person, letting just one incident rule him. "It won't ever happen again."
Because if he could just go back to his old life, back to that control he'd
somehow accomplished before—it would all just be fine.
"You're absolutely right." Cornelia's brow furrowed just the tiniest bit.
Suzaku was starting to feel like the onslaught was far from being over.
"Now there is no way, I'm letting you keep mooching around from this base."
Cornelia snapped at him. Her voice was both raising and deepening at the same
time.
…oh God, he was really that transparent, wasn't he?
"I expect nothing but excellence out of my men and I will not have you here
screwing up all the time. Now you used to be passable as a soldier." This time
she had an edge to her voice.
Suzaku wasn't sure when this had turned personal but clearly
something—somewhere along the lines, this had turned very personal it seemed.
And to be frank, Suzaku hadn't a thing to fire back, even if he could have
fired something back.
"Kururugi, this farce of a soldier's performance has been dragged out long
enough." She snapped at him again.
Suzaku could feel the heat rising in his face. It wasn't like he'd purposefully
'slipped up.' This wasn't his fault. It couldn't be his fault—and yet it was
his fault. Completely, he knew it was his fault and he knew that Cornelia could
see right through him.
"Then what exactly would you have me do to fix that?" Suzaku didn't realize
he'd snarled until it was out of his mouth.
The silence then hit them both.
Suzaku's mouth fell back open. A hard swallow and widening of eyes marked as
fear flooded all spaces of his brain, accompanied by the return of common
sense. Or at least that was the ultimate hope, that in the return, common sense
would return. Maybe if Suzaku was lucky it would be back to stay.
His mouth still open he just started to talk, through that open mouth. "I—I'm
sorry. That was uncalled for, I didn't mean, ma'am. That was—I'm really sorry."
That was when the most unexpected of things happened. It was slow but then
suddenly Cornelia smiled. "Don't bother, Major."
She sat as perfect as ever and just smiled—or maybe smirked, Suzaku wasn't sure
he could tell the difference any longer. It was probably because he'd never
seen Cornelia have any facial expression past content and all the way down to
utter distain, like a five to a ten range on the scale of unhappy.
"We all have limits. Unfortunately for you, I believe you haven't reached yours
yet." Cornelia looked away then writing one last thing out on that note and
holding it out over the desk.
Suzaku looked at it for a moment, before leaning forward and taking the note.
It was folded, so he couldn't see what was written on it.
Somewhere in his mind he had the inkling that this may be crossing some kind of
line somehow. Then again, it was Cornelia—so he wasn't sure if that meant there
was some very strict lines or if that meant there was no such thing as lines.
"You're dismissed." Cornelia's gruff and callas manner was immediately back as
she looked back down to the paperwork on her desk.
"Yes, ma'am." Suzaku seceded immediately and stood. He was being given an
escape so like hell was he going to pass up on it.
Once he was back in his own office, Suzaku stared down at the phone number
written on the small post-it note. He gave a sigh, but knowing he would face
worse consequences if he didn't call, he flipped open his cell phone, dialed
the number, and pressed the phone to his ear.
Put Line Here
When Lelouch knocked on the apartment door he hitched the messenger bag just a
bit more up on his shoulder. He'd come right after school since he didn't have
work and had-quite ashamed and a bit disgusted to admit it- no desire to go
home he'd gone to the next best place.
There was the rattle of locks before the door was opened and Suzaku's smile was
Lelouch's greeter. Lelouch leaned up for a kiss.
The hasty press to his cheek wasn't what he had expected. Watching as Suzaku
was already turning back to his bedroom, Lelouch couldn't quite stifle the
sneer that was forming on his face.
"Come on in," Suzaku finally said, with a brief look over his shoulder.
One favorable aspect was that Suzaku had his shirt off, Lelouch mused to
himself as he closed Suzaku's front door and set his school bag down in a chair
at the table. He took his time, even checking to make sure his school uniform
was safely tucked away in the school bag where Suzaku wouldn't chance to see
it. Then Lelouch removed his jacket and even went to Suzaku's fridge to get a
Pepsi. It wasn't like Suzaku was in a big hurry to get Lelouch's attention
anyway.
By the time he sauntered his way back to Suzaku's bedroom, the soldier was
charging back out of the room.
"Does this look nice?" He asked a bit desperate as he presented himself. He was
finishing up buttoning the cuffs on a dark plum shirt he now wore with his
pressed black slacks.
"Not as good as you do without a shirt," Lelouch mumbled as he took a drink
from the can of Pepsi.
Suzaku's brow furrowed. Then he made the face.
Immediately, Lelouch understood. That was the stressed face. It was always a
weird mixture of emotions coming out in a look of confusion and annoyance.
Lelouch didn't even know if Suzaku knew he made that face when he was stressed.
But with that cleared up, Lelouch knew his snarky comments weren't going to be
appreciated. "Where are you going?" It was something he needed to clear up
before he knew how he could help Suzaku best. He stepped up to straighten
Suzaku's collar.
"I have a dinner to go to for work." Suzaku explained, frowning as he tugged at
the collar that Lelouch had just fixed.
Lelouch nodded. It went unsaid that this was clearly important. "Well, it's
better to be well dressed than under dressed. Do you have a tie?" The outfit
needed one. And a suit coat.
Completely willing to hand this over to Lelouch, Suzaku nodded in submission
and started back to the bedroom again.
Once Lelouch entered after him he was pleased to see that there was a suit coat
waiting on a hanger. The hanger was balanced on the edge of the doorframe to
the private bathroom, but Lelouch couldn't be too picky.
"Uhm," Suzaku frowned as he started to look thought his drawers for a tie.
Lelouch stepped up, setting his Pepsi down on the top of the dresser. The
source of the problem was rooted in the fact the Suzaku didn't seem to have any
organizational skills. Lelouch reached into the drawer of everything pretty
much to fish out a. Couple of ties. He tossed one back into the drawer, noting
to organize later.
He swatted Suzaku hands away before he looped the tie over Suzaku's head and
started on a knot that would be impressive, yet subtly. It wasn't typical, but
it wasn't out reaching unless one looked close enough to realize it was a
double knot instead of the typical tie knot. Lelouch then handed over the suit
coat.
"Put it on," he hummed before he picked up the Pepsi again and started to take
another drink.
"But that will be really hot!" Suzaku whined.
"It makes you look more professional." Lelouch growled. "Put on an extra layer
of deodorant and suck it up." He rolled his eyes. Honestly sometimes Suzaku was
such a baby!
Reluctant, Suzaku slipped his arms into the suit coat and shrugged his
shoulders as if he was already uncomfortable.
"Button it up," Lelouch scolded as he gestured with his Pepsi.
With a grumbled huff, Suzaku did as he was told, buttoning the suit up.
Much better, Lelouch though as he smiled, smugness oozing, as he took another
drink. The suit coat was exactly as fitted as Lelouch would have liked, but
buttoning it up made it look more fitting around Suzaku's waist. He looked like
a competent force not to be reckoned with at the very least. And Lelouch wasn't
below taking the credit for it.
"Take a taxi," Lelouch said as he noticed that Suzaku was hunting for his
wallet and keys. Knowing that oblivious boy, Suzaku would take the bus, just
for the fact that it was cheaper.
"I have to, " Suzaku growled back at him. "I'm already running late." He turned
to that bedroom door the instant he had his wallet into his suit coat inside
pocket.
Lelouch followed of course.
It was clear that Suzkau didn't care if Lelouch stayed in his apartment as he
found his keys on the kitchen counter and headed straight to the door.
"Suzaku!" Lelouch hissed as he came up to the kitchen table. His eyes must have
been blazing as he set that Pepsi back done. Because really?Was Suzaku really
just going to leave without even a second glance at him? His hand was already
on the god damn door knob even!
Suzaku must have realized his mistake, but him making up for it wasn't that
much of a relief, Lelouch observed. He rushed to give Lelouch another hasty
kiss before he was already back at the door.
"Sorry Lelouch, I just really have to go." He explained as he pulled the door
open and dashed out, "I'll see you later."
And that's all Lelouch was left with. Standing there alone in Suzaku's kitchen,
Lelouch was just left there. His brow furrowed as he tried to possess what had
just come to light.
He took another drink of Pepsi as his thoughts whirled. Suzkau was under
stress, but what was-Suzkau had never just brushed Lelouch off like that, even
when he was stressed.
Lelouch turned to the fridge. He opened reaching into it before he realized
what he had been doing. This wasn't the typical times he was at Suzaku's
apartment. There would be no reason to make a meal here, at least not now.
He pulled his hand back, and let the fridge door close. He looked down to the
floor for a minute just breathing.
When he looked up he slowly gathered his things. He left the Pepsi on the table
as he left. It had been a while since he'd been in the company of friends
anyway. So why stay somewhere he was basically useless, when C.c. would at
least have a dialog with him?
===============================================================================
By the time Suzaku stepped out of the cab, he was nervous enough that his palms
were slick with sweat. His entire job was on the line for this dinner and he
hated it. There wasn't much that Suzaku could do to make up for being late to
his appointment anyway.
He rushed to the doors, his mouth was already open as he approached the
hostess.
And she was already smiling sweetly as she greeted him. "Major Kururugi, we've
been expecting you." Her red lipped smile was as wide and forcibly polite as
possible.
Suzaku felt as his brow puckered. He hadn't ever met her.
But she was already gesturing him to follow her. "This way please,"
His questions were then pointless he figured as he quickly followed on her
heels. As soon as he could get to the table the better, after all.
She showed him through the main dining hall, filled with people before she
started up the grand staircase to the balcony overlooking the main floor of the
establishment.
Suzaku would have been more than satisfied just to amaze at the grandiose
feeling of the establishment as he went. The gold inlaid into all the intricate
carvings, framing what looked like hand painted panels and the carpet alone was
rich reds, lined in more metallic gleams of gold. Suzaku swallowed, and hoped
that there was at least something on the menu he could afford. Then again he
was late so maybe he'd just get a water.
Lelouch was at home and would probably wrap up a dinner for him to eat later
anyway. Lelouch was always thoughtful like that, Suzkau mused to himself. He
came off as self-centered, but when he cared about someone, Lelouch turned
nurturing. Suzkau reminded himself he'd have to thank Lelouch with something
later.
The woman gestured him to follow her still back towards one of the balconies,
Suzaku nodded to her overly eager smile before he followed a bit closer behind
again.
"Suzaku!"
His head shot up at the sound of that voice. And he had to make sure his jaw
didn't hang uselessly open for a minute as he made eye contact with his old
partner.
"Gino?" Suzkau said it more to himself this time and he realized his friend was
seated at the larger round table that was the same table Suzaku was intended
for.
That huge smile on that giant's face was one Suzaku hadn't realized how much he
had missed.
And then Suzaku was forced to stop as another towering man turned in his seat
to look at Suzaku. Mid step, the glacier blue eyes made contact with him and
Suzaku almost felt like ice shot through his veins. Then a pleasant smile
spread on the mans sculpted features as he gestured to the table. "Major,
please join us, we were just finished up ordering for you. Lieutenant Weinberg
said that you wouldn't mind."
Much to his shame, his jaw hung there for a moment just as useless as ever
before he scrambled to a seat next to Gino and managed to mumble, "Uh right,
thank you... Sir..." He wasn't sure what to call him anyway. He was already
amazed at the way the man had so casually acknowledged that Suzaku was late and
yet he just swept it away with that pleasant smile somewhere all with in what
Suzaku thought was he same sentence.
With that same smile the man abruptly stood then, "Oh my apologies, I haven't
actually introduced myself to you, Major,"
A jab to his ribs made Suzaku shoot up a well to his feet. He would have shot a
glance down at Gino if those icey blue eyes weren't already demanding his
attention.
The man held a hand out to Suzaku. It was huge. Literally. Suzaku had never
exactly been a small guy. He'd managed, despite his Japanese father to reach
the six foot mark, barely but he'd done it around his last growth spurt in his
early twenties. But his height Suzaku knew was never his strong point. He was
broad and stout and built like a second generation Japanese wall. But he was a
freaking tooth pick to this man.
"I'm Schneizel el Britannia, Cornelia's elder brother." He outstretched his
hand even further.
Suzaku swallowed as he took the hand. Thinking to himself that this must be the
reason that Cornelia looked like a freaking Amazon. The entire family must be
towering and huge and frightening. Only these people. Only people who could
instill fear and as just seen hope with just a couple of words all the way down
to Suzaku's soul must be built like this They just needed such a large stature
to contain all the power they could exhort over others.
"Uh, Suzaku—Kururugi," He added his last name knowing that this was formal. He
was still hot from practically sprinting from the taxi and hurrying to keep up
with that woman.
This smile that spread was smooth, like spreading warm butter, it came to
Schneizel's face just that easy. "Very pleased to meet you. My sister has
spoken quite highly of you as well as our family friend, Bismarck."
Suzaku swallowed again, gulped was probably better terminally to what he
actually did. Friends in high places and places Suzaku was very involved in
could be a good thing or an awful thing. He might get a promotion tonight or he
might lose his job. The worst was that this kind of pressure was so different
than the kind of pressure Suzaku loved. He loved the life threatening pressure.
It was like a cool calm washed over him in those moments. He had objectives and
he could act single mindedly then. Just get it done was the simplest way to put
his train of thought under the pressure that was the greatest adrenaline rush
Suzaku ever felt.
There was a firm shake to his hand before Schneizel took up his seat again.
Following his example Suzaku sat as well. This time as he did he made a point
to look at the four other people around the table. He knew none of them. He
glanced at his former partner and quickly started to take cues from his friend
and meeting the others there with a pleasant smile as conversation sparked up
again.
===============================================================================
He'd learned the names of the other four people by the end of the meal. They
were researchers the most notable was probably the Duke, or as he preferred to
be called Dr. Lloyd Ashplund. The other more notable was an Indian woman named
Rakshata. Between the two of them seemed to be most of the conversation—or
argument. It was about half way through the meal that Suzaku realized that this
was a business meeting.
Of course it wasn't like any business meeting Suzaku had been to before in his
entire life. Schneizel had a way of bending –no, dancing. The man treated it
exactly like it was a dance around exactly what he wanted. It had worked as
well, with in minutes Schneizel had found a way to pick out who he still wanted
at the table and who he didn't. Two of the researchers had become insignificant
within minutes of talking about their subjects. And somehow, Suzaku was still
trying to catch up, Schneizel had made it as if the rejected researchers
weren't even there and yet Suzaku still knew that they sat with them at the
table.
Then Suzaku had been offered a drink and because he had a headache trying to
keep up he'd taken it. And all hope was lost. He wasn't drunk, not even close.
But with one drink of something with kick and Suzaku was numbed enough he
didn't bother to try and keep up the play by plays. All he knew was that by the
end of the night, he was pretty sure that Dr. Ashplund had won the business
deal—or Schneizel had twisted it around so it sounded like it was a competition
and that he had won. Suzaku stopped thinking about it.
And then they were all standing up and leaving. Suzaku wasn't sure why he had
even been there but taking another cue from Gino he happily shook hands and
smiled and went along with whatever was wanted from him.
Then there was a very large hand that came down on his shoulder. Suzaku felt
his muscles froze as Schneizel made a casual offer to have a drink with Suzaku
at the bar, as if it was just the end of the night's last call and that he just
wanted to have friendly conversation.
By then, Suzaku had known better and he gave an affirmative.
He hadn't expected the drink to be so—private. He'd been given what tasted like
bourbon after they had entered a small room, this one about twice as exquisite
and richly decorated. It was more or a spacious parlor than a bar, Suzaku
noticed but he stayed silent as Schneizel ordered a drink for himself.
"My sister had quite a few things to say about you, Suzaku." Schneizel said as
he took a seat in one of the arm chairs.
It was amazing but Suzaku, even being the one standing didn't feel like he had
any higher ground in this situation. He realized that Schneizel's cool
composure was one to wait out a response from Suzaku. So he just sort of opened
his mouth. "The Coronel is a—" what? He glanced to the side, searching for
something to say. "the two of you are nothing alike."
That beckoned a deep rolling chuckle from Schneizel. "Why yes I imagine the
comparison is quite stark." There was another flash of glacier eye, "She is a
very strong woman, and she shows it through her entire demeanor."
"That's one way of putting it," Suzaku mumbled into his drink as he lifted it
for another sip. He realized after saying it that it was probably the wrong
thing to say. Eyes just slightly wider skirted to Schneizel's face.
There was a look of amusement that met him.
Suzaku was nowhere near relief though. He set his drink down on s side table.
Drinking more and clouding his judgment and loosening his tongue weren't wise
at the moment. He wasn't even sure why he was there any longer. Him or Gino for
that matter! He hadn't even been given a chance to ask Gino what on earth he
was doing here.
There was a pause, one that Suzaku wasn't finding comfortable. He shifted on
his feet, but he wasn't sure he was allowed to sit down or not. He wasn't sure
if he even needed permission. Should he ask?
This was the effect that the Britannian's had. Suzaku was starting to be
completely convinced that that entire family must have some super power that
was called pure dominance. They walked in a room and anyone there wondered if
they should bow. It was crippling if they willed it and evne when they weren't
swilling anything at all it was just there, in the room, making Suzaku stress
and wonder if he was really safe as major. A freaking Major! He had job
security at least until he walked into the same room as Britannia and then he
wasn't sure that he had anything for sure that they couldn't rip away from him.
"You know, Suzaku, I don't know many people that know how to tie a knot like
that."
Suzaku's eyes shot up. He was confused for a second before Schenizel gestured
to his black tie.
"I'm sure it's not easy." Schneizel said with a pleasant tone.
Looking down, Suzaku figured he should just admit to the truth. "It wasn't me."
Where did that drink go again?, he asked himself. "I—" well might as well admit
it now. He had commanders that knew I so why not this man? "My boyfriend is
really helpful with stuff like this. He tied the knot. I'd have no idea how to
do it." He gave a chuckle. Listening to it come out of his own mouth, he knew
it sounded nothing close to natural.
There was that amused look back on Schneizel's face. "Oh really?" there was
another smile. "Tell me more about him."
Suzaku hand was twitching back to that drink when he was startled again.
"What?"
"Your significant other, I'd like to hear about him." Schneisl took a drink
himself.
Suzaku took his hand off the glass as he tried to figure out what exactly it
was that Schneizel wanted to know. "Well, he's…" what cold he tell? Then again
what really did he know about Lelouch that Lelouch would feel betrayed if he
told to someone? The answer was nothing. "He's younger than me, in college
right now."
"Studying?" It was amazing how intrigued Schneizel manage to sound.
"Uh.." Suzaku stopped, realizing—he didn't know. He looked back down to the
floor. He shook his head., trying to brush it off with a shaky smile. "I
honestly don't know. I know he's probably told me. I must have forgotten." He
gave a nervous laugh. That was a lie. He'd never asked Lelouch what he was
studying. Lelocuh had never offered, but what was worse—Suzkua had never asked
him.
Schneizel's brow rose in question.
Suzaku glanced away quickly again. He tried to think of something else to say
about Lelocuh. His mind was—blank. He dint know. His brow furrowed as he
realized, he didn't know anything. He didn't know how many siblings Lelocuh
had, or if any. He dint know what year in school Lelouch was, he didn't know
what Lelcouh wanted to be outside of school. He didn't know Lelocuh
favorite—well anything. They had to have talked before though—at the restraint!
They talked on their first date a lot at the restraint.
There was a frown that now tugged at Suzaku's lips. What had he ever learned on
that date? Lelouch liked chess…. And he liked Suzaku. Suzaku eyes were shifting
quickly as he tried to think of anything that he really knew beyond the chess
and the common attraction towards each other. Had they even talked, Suzaku
asked himself. It was as if they didn't even have anything in common!
Suzaku glanced up, Schneizel had a smile on, it was smile but it wasn't a
smile.
Shaking his head, Suzaku cleared his mind. And just knew he had to stop this.
"Sir, if you don't mind, what am I doing here?"
That caused another smile. "You were here tonight for my own entrepreneurial
sake." Schneizel took a drink. "There needed to be a certain," he paused to
search for the words, then it was there just as quick, "Kind of persuasion
there at that table tonight. You and Mr. Weinberg did splendidly." He added the
last with another smile into his drink. When he set the glass down he went on.
"I would like to find out a few things from you though."
The room was very still this time as Suzaku closed his mouth, waiting for a
moment before he spoke. "What do I have-?" what could he ever offer a
Britannian?
Schneizel just le that amused look flash back onto his face. "I'm curious. For
one, I'm very curious about you."
Standing there, Suzaku shoved his hand into his pocket, trying to stop himself
from going for that bourbon on the table. His eyes narrowed just a touch.
And the change in expression must have been enough because Schneizel was off
again, speaking in that level, and rich tone again. "Of course I'm not going to
make you do anything Suzaku. I'm not here to present myself as your enemy. If
anything I want to help you."
The use of his first name somehow, seemed like a token. A token of what
exactly, Suzaku wasn't sure but it was certainly something.
"Bismarck, tells me that you're a great soldier." Schneizel still went on.
"I've heard the same from my sister." There was another dazzling smile. "Trust
me, Suzaku. I can assure you that you won't regret it."
Suzaku wasn't sure what there was to say.
"We're here to make you better." Schneizel was practically made the word sound
like a soothing charm caste over Suzaku. "If anything we want to make you a
better man, a better soldier."
Licking his lips, Suzaku managed to pull his gaze away to look to the door.
Then he looked to the floor again.
"Well," Schneizel said as he stood. "I'm sure we can discuss this later. Your
significant other must be waiting for you."
Suzaku was desperate for the escape this time. "Uh, uhm yeah, he's probably at
my apartment still." If he was lucky Lelouch would spend the night again and
there would be his cooking in the fridge and—and Suzaku wanted to ask a few
questions of his own tonight.
The carpet muffled Schneizel's steps as he approached Suzaku. He let his hand
rest on Suzaku's shoulder and gave it a pat as a softer smile spread on his
lips. "We should let you go home to him then."
Nodding, Suzaku turned to the door.
"Suzaku?" that smooth voice rang out again.
Twisting, Suzaku still let his body face the door as he looked back. He didn't
want to get pulled back into this. He wasn't sure how to—he wasn't sure of
anything with Schneizel. It scared him and it was—comforting. He liked having
someone that just gave orders, even if it was just with their manner and the
way they held themselves Suzaku liked to have a chance just to be a soldier
again. But since when was questions and talking a part of being a good soldier?
"I like talking to you." Schneizel stated. "You will join me again for dinner,
say Thursday night?" It was hard to tell if it was a statement of fact or a
real question. The first part of wanting to have dinner again wasn't an option,
maybe it was the day that was the option...
Balking for an answer, Suzaku furiously tried to think of the right thing to
say. Those cold eyes were telling him the right answer, but could he really,
could he trust Schneizel? Could he trust the Britannian's? It felt like he was
being warped into being one of them. And yet, wasn't he already? Bismarck was
clearly knee deep in this family. Suzaku could at least put that much to get to
know that Bismack was heavily involved in this family. So why not Suzaku?
And Suzaku just wanted orders. He wanted simple orders. And Looking in those
eyes Suzaku knew he'd get exactly what he wanted in the end.
"Yes," Suzaku quickly added, "Sir."
The smile this time held something Suzaku didn't recognize. "Splendid. I'll
have my secretary get a hold of you with time and place just as she did for
tonight."
===============================================================================
When Suzaku opened his apartment door he found a cold apartment. He saw the
Pepsi first, still three fourths of the way full and left on his table. Suzaku
already knew, he just—he went straight to the fridge. There wasn't a plate
wrapped up for him at all. He checked his voice mail, he checked ever surface
in the apartment for that note. He went to the bedroom and the living room and
everywhere else.
In the end, he came back to the Kitchen and realized the only thing Lelouch
left for him was the open pop can on the table.
Suzaku felt a twinge in his chest. It was sharp and hollow—and it hurt. His
hand shaky he picked up the Pepsi. There was nothing in the apartment that was
even Lelouch's and they'd been dating for how long? At least two months. And
there wasn't honestly a thing of Lelouch's in the apartment?
Suzaku took a drink from the Pepsi. It was the most he could have of Lelouch at
the moment—and it was lukewarm and flat. Suzaku throat tightened up, and he set
the can back down. It was a bit bitter, or at least the realizations coming
with it were.
===============================================================================
"So how's your little school boy?" Kouzaki's snarky comment reached Suzaku ears
far too early that morning.
"Excuse me?" Suzaku looked up from his desk. He was buried in more paper work
and somehow he wasn't doing the best job of digging himself out this time. He
had pen in hand as he looked up at the Private leaning in to his office.
She tossed her hair over her shoulder before giving him a sneer. "You know,
your little college toy, how's he doing?"
Suzaku looked up at her. Did he even dare to answer? "Lelouch is fine." He
decided on that was the best course of action. Keep it simple and get rid of
the snarky bitch.
"I'm sure your little Bio Engineer is swamped with homework, isn't he?" Kouzaki
jabbed again. " I mean it's finals in like a week, right?"
"Bio Engineer?" Suzaku said. Finals? What the hell was she talking about?
She looked confused this time, crossing her arms over her chest. "Yeah, he told
me he was a Biological Engineering Major."
"He told you his major?" Suzaku was pretty sure that had been shot out a her a
bit too quickly. But Suzaku didn't care. Why would Lelouch tell her? He'd never
even mentioned his major to Suzaku! He never mentioned anything about himself
to Suzaku! Suzaku set down the paper in his hand when he started to hear it
crinkle as his fisted hand.
Kouzaki rolled her eyes. "Don't be so possessive golden boy, it was just a
friendly conversation." She sauntered her way out of the office as if their
conversation had clearly turned on her completely.
Suzaku was just left there, alone. And he hated it.
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