Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/478302.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Sirius_Black/Remus_Lupin
  Character:
      Remus_Lupin, Sirius_Black
  Additional Tags:
      Yaoi, Angst, Hurt/Comfort
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-08-05 Words: 1506
****** Me and the Moon ******
by Amberly
Summary
     The moon is the only lover Remus will never need.
The air was cold and clean, full of the scent of winter. Stars covered the sky,
their tiny points of light overshadowed by the almost full moon. A slight
breezed moved through Remus’ hair, tugging on it like a lover. He smiled, eyes
transfixed on the silver countenance of the moon.

Remus often sat outside at night, enjoying the quiet solitude of the Astronomy
Tower. The light of the moon caressed him, drawing smiles and sighs out of his
contented face. The moon was the only lover he’d ever need. She ruled his life,
pulling his blood through his veins and breaking his body, remaking him to fit
her own needs.

Sirius teased him about the moon, likening its effect to the one it had on
women. But Remus would just smile, his face a mystery of sadness and
acceptance. No one could love a werewolf. There was only so much friends could
give you: sex and love were the limits. But Remus didn’t care. The moon’s quiet
touches stirred longings he’d never imagined. He told himself that her love was
all he’d ever need.


He could smell Sirius before his dark head was visible, the boy coming up the
tower stairs. The moon heightened his senses, and this close to full, his skin
was singing with electricity. The Animagus sat next to him, the close proximity
shooting blades of ice up Remus’ back. Closing his eyes, he pushed the
overwhelming emotions away, focusing on the feeling of the moon, his only
lover, on his face. He didn’t neat Sirius or the searing heat his touch
brought.

Through half-closed eyes he could see his friend watching him. Taking a deep
breath, he inhaled the spicy scent of his friend—the cool scent of the moon, he
corrected himself quickly. You are breathing in the moon. Grey eyes looked
curiously at him, their depths full of silk and the bright fire of energy.
Remus turned raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, Padfoot?” he said, his voice quiet in the silence of the night. Sirius
smiled, a real smile unlike the sarcastic and self-loathing grin he usually
flashed at people. He shrugged, the movement flowing down his body like water.
His body was alive, everything warm and moving. Remus forced himself to look up
at the cold, still moon. Sirius stretched out, resting his head in Remus’ lap,
the dark strands of his hair crackling across his jeans.

“Why are you up here Moony?” his voice was low but echoing in the werewolf’s
ears. Remus glanced up at the moon, trying to decide how to answer the
question. Sirius usually answered his seriousness with laughter, but he knew
the time and place for teasing. Gazing at the white moon, he smiled.

“The sky. Look at the moon,” he whispered, his reverence sounding bitter, even
in his own ears. Sirius nodded, his eyebrows creasing in worry. Remus shook his
head, not sure how to put the next part. His hands were frozen to the cold
stones of the tower. But the moon stared down at him with dominating love.

“No, Sirius. I love her,” his voice was close to silent. Sirius looked up at
Remus, his eyes catching the starlight and projecting it into the hazel above
him. He was silent, his body still in its curiosity.

“She accepts me, stays with me every night,” a strange smile danced around his
lips, the expression hard, “She breaks me and puts me back together. She sees
my monster and loves me anyway. She is all I need.”

Remus spoke softly, as though he was trying to convince himself. Tears lined
his eyes, their gaze fixed upwards on the sky. Sirius sat up, his gaze locked
on his face. With unusual perception, he realized that Remus was lying. Chewing
his lip slightly, he continued to watch his friend, waiting for more.

Sirius, Remus thought, was not supposed to be silent. He should be laughing,
reminding him that the moon wasn’t a person. He pushed the unfaithful thought
away, looking with longing away from his desire. Wetting his lips with his
tongue, he continued, the moon hanging pale and cold before him, “She’s never
rejected me, never cared that I’m a werewolf,” he stopped, aware that his voice
was breaking. Sirius watched the devastation cross his friend’s face like an
avalanche.

Under his warm hands, Remus’ fingers were freezing. He stood, pulling the small
werewolf to his feet. Wrapping an arm around his shoulders, he led him towards
the stairwell.

“Come to bed, Mooney. It’s cold out here, his voice was full of heat and
affection. Remus allowed himself to be led down the tower stairs, though the
castle, and into the dorms. The arm around his shoulders was warm and
comforting. He felt the chill dropping from his limbs. At the edge of his bed,
the arm was removed, leaving Remus with a sense of emptiness. The dorm was
empty.

“Where are James and Pete?” he whispered, the words full of sadness. Sirius
chuckled, telling him that Peter had a date, and that James was in detention
again. He nodded, pulling off his robes and sitting on his bed. The tall boy
sat next to him, his face full of concern and something else. Sirius looked at
him for a moment, then opened his mouth to speak.

“Moony. Hey, Moony,” he said, voice low and urgent. Remus turned his towards
his face, keeping his eyes resolutely lowered. A rough hand cupped his chin,
lifting it up to face Sirius. Their faces were almost touching. Remus refused
to meet his eyes.

“Remus,” the voice said, a note of command in it. He slowly raised his eyes,
surprised by the silver glow that met them. He stared hopelessly into Sirius’
eyes, the pain catching at his heart. He wet his lips and tried again.

“Remus,” he said, aware of his hand still cupping the werewolf’s chin, “Remus,
someone else doesn’t care that you’re a werewolf,” he held the boys eyes with
his own, “there’s someone else who’s watched you transform, who stays with you
though the night.”

The smaller boy felt his heart racing in his chest at the closeness of his
friend. HE closed his eyes, not trusting himself to speak. Heat radiated from
the hand that touched him, searing his frozen flesh. “Who?” he asked, his eyes
still closed.

He was surprised by the softness touching his lips. Confused, he opened his
eyes, his breath suddenly hitching in his throat as he realized what was
happening: Sirius was kissing him.

His heart stopped in his chest as he felt the hand on his chin slide to his
chest, the other one twining itself in his hair. The lips pressed to his moved
away, causing Remus to whimper in disappointment. Sirius laughed lightly,
resting his forehead against his.

“Remus,” Sirius breathed, his breath whispering across the boy’s cheek. If he
doesn’t say something soon, he though, I’m going to panic. He opened his mouth
to speak, only to find his lips covered by the hungry werewolf’s. The space
where their mouths met was hot and slick, sending fire blazing a trail across
his skin.

Remus’ hands were in his hair and his tongue was in his mouth. Sirius moaned
into the mouth connected to his, the sound swallowed and devoured. His face was
tugged closer, the kiss deepening. With eager fingers, he slid his hand up
Remus’ shirt, surprised by the iciness of the boy’s chest. A gasp filled his
mouth as his hands caught a nipple, rolling between his fingers.

He pushed backwards, covering the freezing boy with his own hot flesh. Their
hips were grinding, each one desperate for contact. Adept fingers flicked open
Remus’ pants, sliding down and stoking the heat centered there. Sirius was
surprised to feel a set of hands doing the same to him. His Remus, His Remus,
must be more experienced than he thought. With quickening movements, the boys
stroked each other, their mouths remaining hungrily joined at the lips.

Remus couldn’t feel anything but his hands and his lips and Sirius’ hands on
his cock. He moaned, arching into the hands that held him, his own hands moving
furiously. The friction felt delicious, and he couldn’t remember ever feeling
this warm. Sirius pulled back from the kiss, his eyes holding Remus’ as the boy
came, seed spilling in to the waiting hand. Kissing his neck, he came next, the
warmth filling Remus’ hand.

The boys smiled at each other, both of them shy. Sirius waved his wand,
cleaning them, and then climbed to the head of the bed, sliding between the
covers. With strong hands he pulled Remus to him, covering him with the
blankets and holding him to his chest.

The moonlight fell through the window, cold and distant. Remus smiled at the
boy holding him, their lips meeting once, softly. Warmth enveloped him as he
stared into the glowing silver eyes before him. Maybe, he thought, maybe I
don’t need the moon after all.
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