Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/10701300. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other Fandom: Super_Smash_Brothers, Kuroshitsuji_|_Black_Butler, Sonic_the_Hedgehog_ (Video_Games), Super_Mario_&_Related_Fandoms, Hannah_Montana_(TV), iCarly, Gay_-_Fandom, dicks_-_Fandom, harassment_-_Fandom, The_Great Gatsby_(2013), The_Brave_Little_Toaster_(1987), Lazy_Town, The_Lorax_ (2012) Relationship: sonic_/_freddie, robbie_rotten_/_john_cena, miley_x_lorax, sebastion_/ sam&cat, Brave_toaster_/_gatsby Character: to_lazy_to_type_em_alll, 3333 Additional Tags: Yaoi, Hot, Sexy, hawt, poop, Memes, Anal, crossing_-_Freeform, ass, Christianity, Biology, Drake_Bell_-_Freeform, Taco_Bell, Dipper_Goes_to Taco_Bell, tits, chef, John_Cena_-_Freeform, harry_style_-_Freeform, Bill Nye_the_Science_Guy_-_Freeform Stats: Published: 2017-04-23 Updated: 2017-07-11 Chapters: 4/? Words: 1432 ****** Mario learns how to shit ****** by GayFish666 Summary one long summer day mario and sonic decide its time he finally learned how to shit. Notes See the end of the work for notes ***** Chapter 1 ***** one day in the multiverse Gatsby and that sexy little toaster (who was brave nd had a huge ass) wanted to hang with freddie and sonik at the local daily grind because Gatsby sidebick Mario gave them FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE coffee unlike Bernie sandles free collage( that would fucc everyones taxes+ ) stingy looked at robbie and started fucking a nate doll. sebastian walked in and said " QUIT FUKIN YA DOLS and who likes ass " sonic-kun was horrified and sexy. ~ time skip 10 days ~ After a few moments of that bullshit the brave little toaster decided he wanted to get more drinks but he was unknowingly wondering on how the world of unitedbuttsex worked, "Were their rules? How did you put gas in your car? Is there even cars? " His mind raced wildly as he was discovering new shit every fucking day. He was so use to be next to gatsby all the time he forgot how to fight for himself but that didn't stop him from being dom. Of course shiney bright toasters are sexy right? " now where the fuck did i put my keys, wait how the fuck can i drive! I'M A GODDAMN FUCKING TOASTER " he pondered before getting up. ~ switches to sonic pov ~ Sonic was sitting there looking at his whiskey as he sighed, he wanted freddie to bang him but he understands that he has films to make, he didn't like that freddie was bisexual and also had a crush on fucking whore carly. Sonic kept thinking " don't worry sonic-kun, carly doesn't like me so my ass is yours " was a lie. Sonic really hated carly and thought about murdering her from time to time. It was kinda odd but freddie thought nothing of it. So that night sonic was watching tv, sitting down on the crusty couch as tails was texting him " HEY SONIC, if you're alone i can be intrested to give some company ;) i know freddie doesn't understand how you work " Sonic stared at the screen " yeah i guess you can come over, See if knuckles can join " Tails looked pleased and after like 1 hour both of them arrived.   Now we wait! ***** Quiet evening ***** Chapter Summary Tails and knuckles try to help sonic realize he doesn't need freddie while Robbie rotten and tamaki meet at a bar. Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes It was rather stormy out, sonic, tails and knuckles all sat on the couch. " You know, freddie really isn't around anymore, he's always so busy how do you put up with it? " Knuckles asked not chuckling. " It's rather hard to explain, i feel like me and freddie have a deep connection, he's a smart kid and i'm the fastest thing alive....we are perfect for each other I'm just more disappointed about that carly whore he hangs around...it bothers me greatly, the way he looks at her." Sonic said head hanging low. " Well....it doesn't have to be that way sonic... " tails reached up and cupped sonics face with a quick fluid motion, But before sonic can speak tails climbed ontop of him but before he can do anything the phone rang. " fuck i'll get it " said fuckles before he got up and answered the phone " Hey sonic benson's household, how may i help you? " " hey this is carly, i wanna talk to sonic. he seemed a bit pissed at me " " UGH NO CAN DO " knuckles hung up, he knew sonic didn't need it. not now. not ever! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Carly was sitting staring at the phone " well what a bitch, freddie why do you like him ..." " well you see carly, sonic has been there for me, i love him, he understands my job as a doctor / night producer for a shitty online show, no offense " Said freddie as he got up wiping off his shirt " so we gonna do this or nah? " he said bluntly looking at carly with a poker face. " Yeah i guess, i got a date tonight, but where the fuck is sam? "   ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------- The little toaster walked into the grocery store to pick up some milk for his waifu when suddenly sam was walking in the way, making fun of the fact he was a toaster, the toaster had enough of this girls shit and wrapped his electrical cord around her neck and killed her because if someone picks on you, murder is the only way to go. The little toaster got up and wiped off his stainless steel " thats what the bitch gets for picking on me " he grabbed his milk and stole it, walking home ( everyone stared because hes a toaster ) Chapter End Notes Surprise? ***** The toaster is at it again. ***** The phone rang, it could be heard from miles of away not really but it could still be heard. Sam and Dean stared at each other fighting who should pick it up till dean said " fuck it " and answered. As he picked up the phone he got a call about a walking toaster, Dean never heard anything like it before. A walking toaster, killing people and stealing milk!? what a fucking crime it is sam overheard shocked. Sam opened his mouth to speak but was caught off. " We must stop this crime to humanity " said Dean, " if it gets lose and more out there it's gonna kill everyone, it seems to have a short temper " Sam only nodded before getting up and grabbing his colouring book he wrote notes in ( it was mlp )   * time skip thank me later * Sam and Dean stood there at the side of the road, last where the little toaster was. " UGH WHERE IS THE DAMN THING " " well it just got done raining, do you fucking expect a fucking toaster to walk out in the rain? " " true bro, sorry no homo " " lol you stink, lets go home and bathe no homo "   * another timeskip *   Dean and sam both sat in the bath no homo and splashed each other with apple smelling soap bubbles, having a grand old time when suddenly the heard the bathroom door open with some light clatter, Dean poked his head from behind the curtain to check who it was and only saw nothing but the bathroom, he shrugged and went back to being not homo. He splashed Sam with the bubbles and before he could say anything he turned around and saw the toaster. " miss me with that gay shit " said the toaster before jumping in and killing both Sam and dean. ***** Dora appears ***** Chapter Summary im unfunny Dora walked in with a katana, she always kept it with her because she was 1/ 4 japaneseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. her short hair flowing as she kept walking, she swore she would slay all evil that falls infront of her, After she saved miley- i mean hannah montana from the evil fucking mario she kept her journey going, she would bring peace through the world aslong as she was alive, she would be the first mexican asian to save the day ( i mean if you wanna call me racist, take a look at Black L ) ANYWHO Dora kept walking, the sun just began to start setting when she found a random tent with a fat ugly baka in it, she saw the way it looked. it was orange with a yellow mustache and it was also chubby and had like no real fucking proportions ( and it smelled like shit ) " WHO ARE YOU FOUL BEAST " The orange creature gasped as he saw the mexican asian infront of her " PLEASE DON'T HURT ME IM THE LORAX! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, YOU SAVED MY GIRLFRIEND! " Dora looked rather unimpressed, scuffing " very well... you shall live Watashi Hontōni Sukina Chikin " The lorax had no idea what she said but offered her greentea anyways, dora happily accepted, sitting criss cross apple sauce on the floor. the lorax opened his mouth to speak " so tell me dora-kun, who brought you here...... " Dora was about to answer, she wanted to sound smart... " Unmei..." the lorax just looked at her " you shit yourself? " dora didn't have to answer but only nod as she got up and farted really loudly, it probs could be heard from miles away.   ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------       ~ sonics pov ~ "I'M GETTING SO DONE WITH CARLY'S FUCKING BULLSHIT! " he said angrily throwing a glass at tails, " hes never home, im pretty sure hes banging her and not me, my asshole needs to be filled with hot cum, not this bullshit im dealing with " sonic never seemed this upset before, " sonik-kun calm down, you know taking your anger out on the poor fag won't do you anything " " yeah...sorry tails, sorry fuckles....its just, i miss him so dearly and i just.... " sonic started crying heavily, his eyes watering with regret as they rolled down his cheeks, sonic hadn't slept in days he was always worried about freddie-kun and what he is doing, he just wanted his penis so badly.... End Notes sexy dicks irfdojieruhdoihjeouherfjioriojerfioerfifedirejpiorfeijrfeij christian is gay asf and likes it up the ass with a 10 inch dildo. he also likes it when onision uploads a video and fingers his butthole. (This infact is a wip. its not ready yet and it won't be. probably updated whenever ) Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!