Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/226591.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      John_Egbert/Karkat_Vantas, Pale_Karkat_Vantas/Kanaya_Maryam
  Character:
      John_Egbert, Karkat_Vantas, Kanaya_Maryam, Sollux_Captor, Terezi_Pyrope,
      Dave_Strider, Rose_Lalonde, Jade_Harley
  Stats:
      Published: 2011-07-21 Completed: 2011-07-22 Chapters: 4/4 Words: 12703
****** Making Progress ******
by Miko
Summary
     Once Karkat figures out the trick to getting John's attention, it's
     all smooth sailing from there.
***** Chapter 1 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"What? Why the fuck not?"
"Because that's kinda really too much like a date, Karkat!"
"Fucking ninety percent of the things we do together could be considered dates,
Egbert." Growling, Karkat glared at his 'best friend' - a title John continued
to insist on sticking them with, and never mind that they were so damned
flushed for each other, people could probably spot it three planetary systems
away. "Why is it okay for us to grab dinner alone together at a shitty
restaurant, but not to go to a nice one to celebrate your wriggling day?"
John giggled. Karkat absolutely loathed that sound, because it inevitably
preceded some moronically inane statement that made no sense whatsoever, and
which John would flatly refuse to explain further. It seemed to happen whenever
they were discussing something the human found embarrassing, which covered a
wide and extensive variety of topics. Almost all of which were one of Karkat's
attempts to get the asshole to admit he was flushed.
"It's just different," John insisted. "Going to a really expensive restaurant
on someone's birthday is definitely a date, and it's something you should do
with your girlfriend some day. Oops, or boyfriend. Sorry, didn't mean to be
exclusionist!"
"Why are you fine with the idea of me having a boyfriend, but not having one
yourself?" Karkat demanded automatically. Great, now they were getting into the
same damned circular argument they had every time the subject came up. Karkat
didn't even know why he bothered to keep trying, except in the faint hope that
someday John would actually give him an answer that made sense.
"I keep telling you, just because I'm not a homosexual doesn't mean I'm not
okay with my best friend being one," John said, looking faintly hurt. As he
always did when they got to this part of the discussion, like Karkat had
insulted him somehow by trying to make him see the contradictions in his
supposed logic. "Or, well, bi I guess. Whatever, I'm fine with you just the way
you are."
"So long as the guy I'm hitting on isn't you," Karkat observed acidly, his
patience just about worn through. He'd put up with nearly a sweep of this shit
- two full earth years - repeating the same fucking conversation at least once
a week since the game had ended and they'd rebuilt the world.
"I've kind of even gotten used to that, actually," John admitted guilelessly.
"I just wish you'd stop banging your head against a brick wall and look for
someone else. I don't want you to end up alone."
Karkat literally threw his hands up in disgust. So many times he'd come within
an inch of giving up, of declaring the whole thing hopeless, but no matter how
much he wanted to storm off and never look back, he knew he'd regret it for the
rest of his miserable life.
Having John as a friend was better than not having him at all. Even if it did
hurt worse than any battle wound ever had, sometimes.
"Anyway, we're here, so can we continue this conversation later?" John asked as
they approached the front door to Sollux's hive. The others would be waiting
for them inside - John and Karkat were almost always the last to arrive to
their weekly gatherings, usually because they'd gotten into an argument on the
way.
"You know what? No," Karkat replied, pushed beyond the boundaries of patience
by the sheer repetitive idiocy of the whole mess between them. He shoved the
door open without knocking. "No, we can't. This conversation is going to
continue right here, right now. If I can't get a straight fucking answer from
you, maybe I can get one from everyone else. WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS A
HOMOSEXUAL AND WHY ISN'T HE ONE?"
If there had been conversations going on in the room before he entered, they
stopped the moment he raised his voice. For a wonder, John wasn't giggling -
he'd blushed so red Terezi was sniffing in his direction with a fascinated
expression, and buried his face in his hands, but he wasn't giggling. Karkat
wasn't sure if that was a bad sign or not.
Jade started giggling, which was even more annoying in some ways than when John
did it, but the growl Karkat flung at her did nothing to shut her up. It wasn't
worth trying any harder than that, he'd learned the hard way.
"Still no luck?" Sollux asked, seemingly sympathetic but with the hint of a
smirk quirking the corner of his lips.
"Shut it, Captor," Karkat retorted. "I want answers from the fucking humans,
not your bullshit."
"By strictest definition, a homosexual is a cisgendered male who is only
attracted to other cisgendered males," Rose said, as serenely as if Karkat had
asked what the weather was like. "In common parlance, however, it has generally
come to refer to any biological male who is attracted to other biological males
at all, regardless of whether or not they are also attracted to biological
females, and often irrespective of what gender identity either partner may
have."
Karkat stared at her blankly. When nothing further was forthcoming, he snarled.
"Okay, thank you miss fucking thesaurus. That was so very helpful I can just
feel the new knowledge and understanding bubbling up inside me, soon to spew
forth from my seedflap. Why I expected any explanation you gave to make sense,
I have no fucking clue."
She sighed, and adopted a mockingly patient expression. "What he means when he
tells you that he's not homosexual is that he's not physically attracted to
men."
"How. Is that. A thing?" Karkat snapped. "Why do you have a word for something
that fucking ridiculous? What difference does it make?"
"Even among trolls there are some of us who express a preference for one gender
or the other, Karkat," Kanaya said. "Particularly when it comes to concupiscent
quadrants. It is no different than having a preference for trolls with high
intelligence, or great strength, or any other attribute to which one might be
attracted."
"Yeah but we don't have a fucking word for every one of those preferences,"
Karkat said. "We'd be drowning in definitions!"
"It makes sense that a species for whom sex is not relevant to the reproductive
process would not feel strongly about the need for certain ideal combinations,"
Rose said, shrugging. "Indeed I have often pondered the question of why trolls
are gender binary at all."
"Hey, sex is completely relevant to reproducing," Terezi said, snorting. "Kinda
hard to create any genetic material without it."
"Ah, no, I am speaking of the biological sex of the respective participants,"
Rose corrected her. "Not the verb describing the act through which said
participants copulate. I agree it is confusing that the same word is used in
both cases, which is a result of the outdated nomenclature associated with the
subject. In this instance, sex is often incorrectly used interchangeably with
gender."
Karkat glanced around at the other three trolls, wondering if he was the only
one who felt completely at a loss. Sollux had tilted his head like changing the
angle of his think pan might rearrange the incoming information to make sense -
hell, it was as good a theory as any. Terezi looked like she wasn't sure
whether she should be laughing or not, and Kanaya was frowning.
Their continued confusion must have been clear, because Dave leaned forward.
"One plus one equals three, but only if you've got both halves of the equation.
Humans need a girl and a guy before we can spit out a kid. So obviously, if we
want the species to continue, that's gotta be the default factory setting."
"An unfortunate side effect of which is that anything outside the
heteronormative default is often looked down upon," Rose added. "Particularly
by the culture we grew up in, though certainly none of us present hold such
politically incorrect views. Although actually, mingling our two cultures in
this new world seems to have created the pleasant side-effect of broadening
humanity's views on related subjects. An unanticipated but highly appreciated
result."
"Wait. Hold on. Why do you need a male and a female to have sex?" Karkat said,
desperately trying to make sense of the nonsense coming at him from all
directions.
"Not to have sex, silly. Just to have babies," Jade replied brightly. "And
obviously there aren't going to be any babies with troll-human pairings, but
we're mostly still hardwired to be attracted to the other half of the equation,
like Dave said."
"But why? What difference does gender make?" Karkat insisted, thoroughly
bewildered.
Rose sighed deeply. "I just explained this. Gender and sex are not equivalent
terms, though many people mistake them as such. Gender is irrelevant.
Biological sex is what is important."
"You keep repeating that term as if it should be understood by everyone what
you mean," Kanaya said hesitantly. "But I think perhaps we're running into an
area where our two cultures diverge more than we had previously realized.
Gender we understand. What does 'biological sex' refer to?"
"Your equipment," Dave said, rolling his eyes heavily enough that it was
obvious even behind his ever-present glasses. "Tab A goes in slot B. Unless
you're putting it in slot C, but that's a whole other story. Guys have dicks
and girls have pussies - or bulges and nooks, I guess, in your terms."
Karkat couldn't remember ever being so floored in his life. He gaped at the
human boy for a moment, unable to come up with any words to describe his
reaction to the ridiculous information. Then he turned to stare at John, for
good measure. His not-matesprit gave him a puzzled look in return.
"So, like I keep telling you," John said gently. "I'm sorry, Karkat, but I'm
just not built like that."
"Hang on," Terezi exclaimed, apparently the first to recover from the
incomprehensible revelation. "You're saying human guys and girls have different
parts? What's the point of that?"
"How do you even..." Words failed him, and Karkat made a crude gesture to
convey his meaning. "How do you even, if you've only got half the equipment you
need? What, only one of you gets off? How does that mix your genetic material?"
"And the original topic of this discussion would seem to indicate that there
are pairings which are male with male or female with female, even if that is
not the culturally preferred combination," Kanaya added, looking shyly at Rose
beneath her lashes. "How is that possible, if half of the necessary 'equipment'
would be lacking?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Rewind," Dave said, looking from Terezi to Karkat and
back, with a quick glance at Kanaya for good measure. "You're saying troll
chicks have dicks?"
"Obviously not, coolkid," Terezi mocked him, sticking her tongue out. "We've
got bonebulges, I thought I had you thoroughly schoolfed on the terminology by
now!"
"Yeeeah... suddenly I'm glad you decided we were better off as moirails," Dave
declared. "Woulda been a hell of a shock when I got into your pants."
"Yes, quite," Rose agreed, a little faintly. She was staring back at Kanaya
with her eyes wide, obviously trying to appear composed but failing rather
miserably. Apparently their matespritship wasn't as far along as Karkat had
been assuming. "Obviously none of us are going to judge you because your
anatomy is not as similar to ours as we had supposed, but it is a bit...
startling. It does explain quite a few things about your culture and societal
development, however."
"So... so you're all the same?" John said. The expression in his eyes as he
looked at Karkat was stunned, with a faint but steadily growing light of hope.
"It's just a mistranslation or something? You're as much a girl as a guy?"
That hope made Karkat almost want to agree with him, to let him believe it if
that was what it took to get the idiot to finally admit that he was flushed for
Karkat. But his pride wouldn't let him. "What? No, fuck you, I am one hundred
percent male," Karkat growled at him.
"Actually, kk, I hadn't wanted to say anything, but..."
"Stuff it up your nook, Captor! You're girlier than I am, you scrawny psychic
twink."
"But, if there isn't any physical difference, how do you even know you're a
guy?" John asked. As usual when Karkat was attempting to explain some
blindingly obvious bit of troll culture to him, he looked completely
bewildered. Also as usual, the expression made Karkat want to claw his face
off.
"If Maryam decided your legs needed improving too and she cut you off at the
waist..." Karkat paused for a moment to shudder at the horrific memory, then
ploughed onward. "Would that make you any less male?"
"Bluh... well, no," John admitted, brows knitted and nose wrinkled in
consternation and puzzlement. "But I mean, even if I didn't have the parts any
more, I'd still be a guy 'cause I've got XY chromosomes!"
"And yet again I state that everyone is confusing sex with gender," Rose
repeated, clearly growing exasperated. "Sex is biological, while gender is
psychological. There are many even among humans who do not feel that their
gender is consistent with their sex, John. And that doesn't even begin to bring
hermaphrodites, androgynes, and other types of intersexed people into account."
Karkat's head was spinning as he tried to absorb all the new terms and
concepts. He'd thought human romance was simplistic and stupid, compared to the
multifaceted beauty of the troll quadrant system. Now he was starting to think
maybe he'd underestimated the complexity of the situation.
It might be even more stupid than he'd thought, though.
"What I don't get is why trolls have guys and girls in the first place," Jade
said thoughtfully. "I mean, if there's no physical difference, why make a
mental one?"
"Identifying as a particular gender is a way of linking yourself to certain
stereotypical traits," Kanaya attempted to explain. Karkat left her to it
happily - her explanation would probably make more sense than his. And involve
a lot less yelling and swearing to confuse the issue. "It's a sort of short-cut
description, as well as an indication of what type of role you'd like to fill
in adult society. Traditionally speaking, males are more aggressive and more
likely to attack an opponent directly, and to prefer close-range weapons. They
tend to be short-tempered and quicker to anger, but also faster to forgive
transgressions. They're better at making decisions quickly and intuitively,
which makes them excellent leaders for small groups, especially on the front
lines where tactics are more important than strategy. Karkat is indeed a prime
example of someone possessing what we consider to be 'male' traits almost
exclusively.
"Females, on the other hand," she continued after a brief pause for breath,
"tend to be long-term thinkers and planners. That's one reason why we've always
had an Empress, and never an Emperor. They're more likely to attempt to
manipulate things and people to their liking, rather than attacking directly to
remove obstacles to their plans. When they do battle they tend to choose mid-
to long-range weapons, and they are far more likely to hold an extensive
grudge. Vriska was probably the most clearly feminine of the trolls who played
the game," she concluded softly, an edge of sadness in her voice. "Of those of
us left, I am the closest to the female ideal."
"Okay, can we not use archaic social constructs to define gender?" Sollux asked
irritably, the moment she'd finished. "By those rules, I am a girl. And tz's a
guy."
"Justice-obsessed freak probably flipped a coin to decide which she was,"
Karkat couldn't resist muttering, making only a token effort to keep his voice
down. Terezi clearly heard him, because she started laughing, that low creepy
chuckle of hers that always sent shivers down his spine. He stared at her,
disbelieving. "You... fuck, that is what you did, isn't it?"
"So? It worked out," Terezi said nonchalantly. "I like being a girl. What's
wrong with letting fate decide?"
"If those are your archaic, traditionalist definitions, what are your modern
concepts?" Rose asked, clearly fascinated.
"In modern society the concept of gender is less diametric and more scalar,"
Kanaya said. "With so many adult trolls populating the galaxy, there's no need
for individuals to conform so rigidly to one ideal or the other in order to
fill all the necessary roles. In the last several hundred sweeps or so, there
has been a great deal more recognition of those who feel they possess qualities
of both genders, or who prefer to identify as the gender that does not as
closely fit their actual attributes. Indeed, some trolls never decide
permanently which gender they prefer to be, switching from one to the other as
the situation demands, which has proved to be most advantageous if a given
group is found to have too many of one or the other gender for its needs. Thus
that fluidity has been encouraged."
"So, there you have it," Karkat told John, sneering to cover the flutterbeasts
that seemed to be trying to make their home in his gastric bladder. "Your
ridiculous homosexual thing isn't a thing. Now are you going to let me fucking
treat you on your wriggling day, or not?"
"I..." John looked back at him like an imp helpless to stop the swing of
Karkat's sickle straight towards his neck. "I just... I can't... Karkat, I've
thought of you as a guy the whole time I've known you. Half my life! You just
said yourself that you're totally a guy."
"And you just said that it was the fucking biology that made you not attracted
to me," Karkat raged, feeling his last hope of victory slipping from his grasp.
Damn it, if this wouldn't convince Egbert, nothing would. He would be stuck
watching his should-be-matesprit from the position of a moirail forever - a
moiraillegiance which the idiot wouldn't even admit was just a different type
of love, so he wouldn't even have that comfort to cling to.
"That's because I thought it was biology that made you a guy," John protested.
It took a mighty effort for Karkat to resist the overwhelming urge to bang his
head against the wall. Preferably hard enough to bash his think pan right in,
abjuring the need to ever think about any of this again.
"Fine," he growled, then repeated it again louder for good measure. "Fine! I
don't know why I even bother to try, when it's obvious that you wouldn't be
able to dredge up the intelligence to rub two neurons together and produce a
reasonable thought if your fucking life depended on it. Clearly when the frogs
were handing out brains to our new creations, they missed your spot in line.
You probably weren't even in line, you were off watching one of your pan-
rotting so called 'movies', stuffing your face full of your disgusting
vegetable-based grubcorn and letting what few braincells you did get trickle
out your ears!"
"Karkat..." John didn't even have the grace to look hurt by the insult, just
resigned. Of course, it wasn't exactly the first time he'd heard the rant, or
others just like it. Which only went to show how true they must be, judging by
how often Karkat had to point his stupidity out to him in excruciating detail.
"I don't want to hear it," Karkat hissed at him. "Have a fun wriggling day
party, fuckass. You can fucking well enjoy it without me."
He turned and slammed his way out of Sollux's hive, ignoring John's protests
and the fact that he hadn't had any plans for tonight other than hanging out
with all of his friends.
Not that absconding made him feel any better, since he - and John - knew
perfectly well that he'd be back first thing tomorrow, pretending nothing had
ever happened, and John would do the same. Until the next time they got into
one of these ridiculous arguments, anyway.
Snarling to himself as he stormed up the walk, Karkat tried to make himself
believe that this time it would be different. Unfortunately, the only thing he
could convince himself might change was that he would lose the last of his
hope.
Chapter End Notes
     My thoughts on troll biology:
     Given what we know about their reproductive system, there is no
     biological reason for trolls to have different sexes. If anything
     they should all be 'male', as the egg-producing mother grub is
     clearly the 'female' half of the equation. To humans they'd seem more
     like hermaphrodites, however, in order to account for both 'nooks'
     and 'bone bulges', and the fact that they're expected to mix their
     genetic material prior to offering it to the mother grub.
     On the other hand, although none of the female troll kids show any
     sign of having breasts, it's probably because they are too young as
     both Mindfang and Redglare clearly are possessed of SOME sort of
     protrusion on their chests. There is absolutely no biological reason
     for them to have mammary glands, since they don't even produce their
     young directly, let alone nurse them.
     In truth I think that Hussie probably hasn't planned it all out to
     make biological and sociological sense; he's just made troll culture
     what he wants it to be without worrying about all the niggling
     details. From a story-telling perspective there's nothing wrong with
     that, it's just a little aggravating to a detail-obsessed science
     major fan like me. They probably do have exactly equivalent equipment
     to us with different names. But it's more fun to play with this way.
     ^_^
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]
CG: I NEED YOUR HELP
CG: AND IF YOU LAUGH AT ME I SWEAR I WILL RIP YOUR FANGS OUT OF YOUR GLOWING
FACE AND FEED THEM BACK TO YOU THROUGH YOUR NOOK
GA: I Wouldnt Do That
CG: OH YES YOU WOULD DON'T EVEN DENY IT
CG: OR WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE ANOTHER OF YOUR HUMAN SARCASM ATTEMPTS?
GA: No It Was Sincere
GA: There Are Few Circumstances I Can Think Of In Which Id Feel Compelled To
Laugh At You
GA: Though I Admit You Do Have A Way Of Surprising Me
GA: What Did You Need My Help With
CG: I NEED YOU TO MAKE ME SOME CLOTHES
CG: SOMETHING
CG: FUCK
CG: PRETTY
GA: I Think Ill Do The Thing Rose Sometimes Does
GA: It Seems Most Appropriate Here
GA: "..."
CG: I TOLD YOU NOT TO LAUGH AT ME DAMN IT
GA: That Was Not Laughter
CG: I'M SERIOUS HERE
GA: I Believe You
GA: Im Only Baffled By The Request
GA: Did Yesterdays Discussion Of Gender Cause You To Question Yours
CG: FUCK NO I AM MALE AND GOING TO STAY THAT WAY
CG: BUT APPARENTLY I NEED TO GET EGBERT TO STOP THINKING OF ME AS ONE
CG: AT LEAST LONG ENOUGH TO PULL HIS THINK PAN OUT OF HIS BONEBULGE WHERE HE
SEEMS TO HAVE LODGED IT, AND REALIZE THAT IF THERE'S NO BULGE-SUCKING PHYSICAL
DIFFERENCE HIS HOMOSEXUAL THING DOESN'T MATTER
CG: SO I NEED YOU TO MAKE ME SOMETHING THE HUMANS THINK OF AS FEMININE
GA: Karkat Im Not Sure This Is The Answer
GA: Hes Already Been Told About The Lack of Physical Differences
GA: It Didnt Seem To Matter
CG: YOU DIDN'T SEE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE FIRST THOUGHT I COULD BE A GIRL
AS EASILY AS A GUY
CG: DAMN IT I KNOW HE'S FLUSHED FOR ME, IT'S SO FUCKING OBVIOUS HE MIGHT AS
WELL CARRY A BANNER AROUND
CG: HE TREATS ME LIKE A FUCKING MATESPRIT IN EVERY WAY THAT COUNTS, EXCEPT HE
WON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!
CG: OR EVEN LET ME TOUCH HIM
CG: IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
GA: I Do Understand What It Feels Like To Be Flushed For Someone Who Considers
You A Moirail
CG: FUCK I DON'T EVEN HAVE THAT
CG: WE'RE 'JUST BEST FRIENDS'
GA: And You Believe Dressing In A Feminine Manner Will Change His Mind
CG: I JUST
CG: FUCK
CG: IF I CAN JUST GET HIM TO ADMIT HE WANTS ME, AND ALWAYS HAS, I KNOW THE REST
WILL WORK OUT
CG: IT HAS TO
CG: PLEASE FUCK IT HAS TO
GA: Are You Seeing Him Tonight
CG: YEAH
GA: Come To My Hive In Two Hours
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
===============================================================================
"No skirts," was the first thing Karkat said when Kanaya opened the door. He
tried not to sound grumpy, because he knew Kanaya was doing him a favour, but
he had a feeling he wasn't succeeding. "I don't care how much the stupid humans
insist skirts are girly, I'm not wearing one."
"I wouldn't dream of it," Kanaya assured him. "You're a close-range fighter, I
would not think to restrict your movement like that. You would feel awkward and
vulnerable, and that would’t be an attractive look."
"Ok," Karkat said, somewhat mollified. He should have expected that Kanaya
would anticipate that requirement - for all that she spent a truly ridiculous
amount of her time fussing over fashion and clothing, she did seem to have a
gift for coming up with clothes that suited the person she wanted to wear them.
She led him up to her respite block, where her wardrobifier was. It wasn't hard
to guess what she'd spent the last two hours doing, as sketches were scattered
all over the room. He tried not to look too hard at them. If he let himself
think about this at all, he was going to talk himself out of it. Besides, any
input he tried to give would only be counterproductive.
A good leader knew when to step back and let his experts do their jobs, he
reminded himself. It was something he'd learned the hard way.
"Close your eyes," she instructed, and he looked at her sideways. Did he really
trust her enough to let himself be that vulnerable with her? She was a rainbow
drinker, and she'd fed from literally every one of their friends left alive
except him.
Then again he was trusting her with his dignity at the moment, so maybe
trusting her with his life wasn't that big a leap.
He closed his eyes, feeling rather like an idiot. The shift and swish of fabric
against his skin was almost tickling as she tried different combinations.
Finally she seemed satisfied - or maybe just out of options, because the
changes stopped but she still didn't say he could look.
"Hold still," she said instead, and he felt something cool against his lips.
"Oh fuck no," he blurted out, jerking back and opening his eyes again, staring
at her wildly. Trust only went so far. Sure enough she was holding a tube of
lipstick, and he winced. He had far too many memories of watching her lipstick
turn into a chainsaw. Like right before she'd hacked Tavros' legs off, the poor
bastard.
"Either you want me to do this correctly, or you don't," she said implacably.
"If you don't, there's no reason for you to be here at all. I'm not doing
anything extreme, I promise."
He wavered for a moment longer, but finally gave in with ill grace and closed
his eyes again, grumbling. She dragged the lipstick over his mouth, and he
tried not to grimace at the feel of the waxy stuff left behind.
"Now press your lips together, gently, and rub them against each other to
spread it evenly," she ordered, and he did so.
"Feels weird," he complained, trying not to let his tongue or teeth contact his
lips as he spoke. The last thing he needed was to have lipstick all over his
teeth, even he knew that wasn't in the least sexy.
"You'll become accustomed to it faster than you think," she assured him. There
was an odd note in her voice - satisfaction, and also a touch of... approval?
"You may open your eyes again. The reflective pane is behind you."
Warily he turned to look. When he saw his reflection he did a double-take,
actually glancing back over his shoulder to make sure someone else wasn't
standing there. As if it would matter, unless her new wardrobe choices had made
him transparent.
He looked again, and blinked a couple of times. The pretty troll in the
reflective pane blinked in unison with him, and he finally accepted that yes,
that was him. Kanaya had chosen a grey shirt made out of a soft, drapey
material, with ruched sleeves and a black lace overlay that ran from mid-chest
to mid-hip, and his symbol picked out in silver threads. The whole thing came
down to his upper thighs, not quite long enough to hamper him like a true skirt
would but definitely suggesting the appearance of one. She'd given him black
leggings instead of pants, and black strappy sandals with a low wedge heel that
made his legs look longer but would still be easy to run and fight in if he had
to.
He definitely looked feminine, especially by human standards. Their division of
clothing as appropriate based on gender had confused all the trolls from the
start, but they'd learned to just deal with it. Now it would work to his
advantage.
He also still looked like himself, which he hadn't quite expected. Just a
softer, prettier version of himself. Even his wild hair looked artfully mussed
instead of chaotic like it usually did. "How did you do that?" he asked,
admiring the way the light reflected from the sheen of black gloss she'd
applied to his lips. "Fuck me, I actually look half decent."
"Yeah, you do," she agreed, sounding almost as surprised as he was. "It suits
you, surprisingly. I wouldn't mind seeing you like this more often. Are you
sure you don't want to change your mind about your gender?"
"Shit, no," he snorted, and she sighed. "I might let you play dress-up again
sometime, though," he added, and her face lit up with a mischievous smile.
"Especially if this works."
Maybe there was something to this weird obsession of hers with clothes. Most
trolls just couldn't be bothered, but the effect was quite striking. It wasn't
the way he'd want his enemies to think of him, but he definitely didn't mind
his matesprit seeing him like this.
Or his... moirail? he wondered, meeting Kanaya's gaze in the reflective pane.
She was definitely looking at him with approval, and a sort of startled heat
that she'd never regarded him with before. He had just trusted her enough to
stand blind and naked in front of her, even with her weapon right next to his
face.
Now was not the time to mention it, he decided with only a little reluctance.
First he needed to worry about filling his flushed quadrant. Then he could
start pondering the pale potential of new developments between him and one of
his best friends.
"Try not to eat all the lipstick off between here and John's hive," she said,
making shooing motions with her hands. "Go on, it's getting late by their
standards. Troll me later and tell me how it went."
"Yeah, I will. And... thanks," he added gruffly, because he knew she deserved
it.
She patted him on the shoulder, then used the grip to push him out of her
respite block. He took the hint and headed for the door, trying to quell the
flutterbeasts that were once again threatening to take up residence in his
gastric bladder.
Now if only John reacted to his new look half as well as Kanaya had.
===============================================================================
Usually when Karkat went over to John's hive, he didn't bother to knock
anymore. They were both in and out of each other's hives so often, even when
the other wasn't home, that Karkat had given John his password and John had
given Karkat a key.
And the idiot still insisted they weren't flushed. Most people didn't even give
their moirail their password, unless it was an extremely tight moiraillegiance.
Tonight, however, he decided it would be prudent to knock, especially since he
had stormed out of the fight they'd had yesterday. And also because he wanted
to be sure he would see the full reaction John had to his new clothes, which he
might not if he walked in and John came up behind him.
So he thumped his fist against the door a couple of times, and rang the
doorbell for good measure. Pounding footsteps answered him quickly, and John
yanked the door open a moment later. "Kar...kat?" the human exclaimed, starting
off excited and ending up startled. "Uhhhh..."
The stunned look in John's eyes was exactly what he'd been hoping to see,
Karkat decided, letting himself preen just the tiniest bit. The human looked
rather stupid with his jaw hanging open like that, but the flush that swept
over his cheeks a moment later made up for it. His eyes ran down over Karkat's
body, taking in the full extent of the changes, before jerking back up to his
face again, even wider than before.
"What?" Karkat demanded, pretending to be offended. "I'm not allowed to dress
up nicely for your wriggling day, either? Fuck you and your stupid human dating
rules, I'll wear whatever the hell I want to wear."
"But, uh... those are girl's clothes?" John said, the words coming out as a
question like he wasn't sure of it. If he was trying to convince himself that
he didn’t find Karkat attractive in that moment, he was doing a damned poor job
of it. The heat in his eyes was enough to make Karkat shiver.
"Maybe by human standards. I keep telling you we don't divide things up by
gender the way you idiots do," Karkat said, rolling his eyes. That was true,
though he was misrepresenting the situation a little - anything with lace and
ruffles like the shirt he was wearing was definitely girly even by troll
standards. "Are you going to let me in or not?"
Automatically John stepped aside, letting Karkat enter the hive. Deliberately
Karkat brushed closer to John than he had to, and was rewarded by an increase
in the human's blush.
"Yeah, you keep saying that, but I notice I've never seen you or Sollux in a
skirt before," John said, obviously trying to recover.
"You've never seen Pyrope in one either, does that make her a guy?" Karkat
retorted. "And you never will - she's a close-quarters fighter, same as me. No
fucking way we'd wear something that might restrict our movements, the closest
she comes is that stupid Flarping costume of hers, and there's slits in that so
she can move freely. The only person that might ever see her in a real skirt
would be her matesprit, and only on a damned special occasion in private."
"What about Sollux?" John insisted. "He's a distance fighter, he never even
gets close to his opponents."
"Captor just doesn't like them. Pants have two legs."
John snorted in amusement at that, and Karkat smirked back at him. Sollux's
obsession with duality had eased after he'd lost his twofold vision and the
voices that went with it, but it hadn't faded entirely, and the humans seemed
to find it as amusing as the trolls did.
"Anyway, here," Karkat said, shoving a box wrapped in grey paper at him. "Happy
wriggling day. Birthday, whatever you call it." Though they'd had the larger
party for John the day before with everyone, today was the human's actual day
of birth. Or 'day of crashing down on a meteor', anyway. Karkat had asked the
other trolls weeks ago to feign something that would keep them busy today, and
of course John wouldn't dream of having his party with anybody missing.
Unfortunately the rest of Karkat's plans hadn't gone as smoothly, since he'd
made the mistake of asking which restaurant John wanted to go to yesterday. But
maybe he could salvage them a little.
"Aw, thanks Karkat, you didn't have to," John said as he took the package and
tore into it. "Thresh Prince of Belair?"
"You said you liked human Will Smith, so I thought I'd show you how much more
awesome troll Will Smith is," Karkat said loftily. They'd long since agreed to
disagree about whether troll or human cinema was superior, but they still
enjoyed trying to prove each other wrong. "Want to watch it tonight? It's
pretty long, we won't get through it unless we marathon it, but we can start."
"Why not marathon it?" John asked, laughing. "It's the weekend, we've got
nowhere to be tomorrow. And I've got lots of popcorn! I think we've even still
got grubcorn left over from last time you brought it."
"Good. Let's get this party started," Karkat said, grinning wickedly.
They set themselves up as they always did, sitting on John's bed with their
backs to the wall with the lights dimmed and the bowl between them. John had
gotten used to eating grubcorn a long time ago, though he still made a face
whenever he looked too closely at the exploded grubs. Before then Karkat had
suffered through eating nothing but popcorn, since if they weren't sharing a
bowl there would be no chance for his hand to sometimes brush against John's.
He was perfectly well aware that he was pathetic, but he would take what he
could get.
Halfway through the second episode, he dared to go a little further. When
John's hand brushed his again, he caught and held it, mindful of his claws and
careful to keep his eyes fixed on the screen. It wasn't the first time he'd
tried this, but John always yanked his hand away with an embarrassed laugh.
This time he felt the human's hand tense and twitch as if he was about to pull
away, but then John slowly twined his fingers through Karkat's instead, the
touch light and hesitant. Exulting inwardly, Karkat let John control how much
pressure to squeeze with, and started reaching for the grubcorn with his other
hand instead.
They had to let go when they ran out of grubcorn and John went to fetch the
popcorn, but that still meant nearly two whole episodes of holding hands.
Karkat got up off the bed to stretch his legs while John ran down to the
kitchen, congratulating himself a little smugly on his plan. It wasn't much,
but compared to the utter non-progress he'd made over the last two years,
suddenly things were going at lightspeed.
And all he'd had to do to get it was to wear something a lot more feminine than
he normally would. It didn't hurt his pride that he looked pretty fucking good
in it, either.
He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the window, and scowled when he
realized he was chewing on his lower lip. Not that it mattered, since it
appeared he'd lost most of the lipstick when he'd been eating the grubcorn,
unsurprisingly. Oh well. It had served its purpose, helping to direct John's
initial impression of the outfit.
Though it was kind of a shame, because he'd really liked the way it had showed
off the white sharpness of his multiple fangs, one of the few things about his
body for which he had no cause to be embarrassed.
John appeared in the reflection of the doorway behind him, and Karkat turned to
face his friend. John just stood there staring at him, like he was surprised by
Karkat's appearance all over again. "What?" Karkat said when John still hadn’t
moved or spoken after several moments. "Were you expecting me to have magically
changed back to my usual outfit while you were gone?"
"No, um, I just..." John clutched the large bowl of fresh popcorn to his chest
like a shield, eyes wide and that appealing blush spreading over his cheeks
again. "You, uh, you really... look good. Like that. Really prettty."
Then he bit his lip and looked appalled, like he thought he'd just said
something offensive and was expecting Karkat to tear him a new one. He couldn't
have been farther from the truth. For once Karkat was barely angry at the moron
at all, too pleased with the compliment and the turn of events.
"Glad you appreciate it, fuckass, considering the trouble I went to," he said,
hardly a trace of ire in his voice. He flopped onto the bed again and patted
the spot beside him, ostensibly a command for John to pass over the popcorn
bowl but really just an invitation for the other boy to sit beside him.
To his delight John not only sat closer to him than usual, he reached for
Karkat's hand this time. His fingers were shaking a little, and he looked so
uncertain Karkat almost wanted to take pity on him and stop pushing him, but he
did it of his own volition and that meant more than a thousand words ever could
have.
"So, uh, it's just 'cause you're dressed up for my birthday?" John asked as
Karkat hit the remote and the opening theme started to play. "I mean, I guess I
won't get to see you dressed like this again?"
Karkat considered that. He... didn't actually object to wearing these clothes
again, or ones like them. He wasn't sure he wanted Dave or Jade to catch him in
them, because they'd surely tease him about what they saw as crossdressing -
another thing they had a word for which shouldn't even be a thing. For that
matter he was just as glad that Sollux had never learned to 'see' as clearly as
Terezi could, because he would no doubt taunt Karkat endlessly for being
willing to compromise his declared gender just to win his matesprit.
There was another potential problem with it, as well. "If you like it this
much, I might be persuaded to pay a little more attention to my clothes in the
future," he admitted grudgingly, squeezing John's hand slightly. "But let's
make one thing clear right now, fuckass. No matter what I'm wearing, I'm still
me, and I'm not changing the way I act. So don't expect me to start behaving
like a damned girl just because you think my clothes are girly, got it?"
He wanted John to realize that gender shouldn't - didn't - matter between
matesprits, but he still wanted John to want him. Not some artificial
construct, an illusion that would fall apart when exposed to the light of
reality.
John blinked, and then looked at him thoughtfully. "Yeah... okay," he finally
agreed. "I think I get it. I wouldn't really want you to change, Karkat. If you
did, you wouldn't be you, and I mean it when I keep telling you that I like you
exactly the way you are. It's just, I uh... didn't realize you could look quite
so hot," he finished in a mumble.
"Well, don't expect me to parade around like this in public, either," Karkat
said, leaning back against the wall with a contented smirk. "I've got a badass
reputation to maintain, and 'soft and frilly' isn't exactly the look I want to
be known for."
"So... you'd only let someone you trust see you like this?" John hazarded,
going slowly from thoughtful to pleased.
"Someone I pitied the fuck out of because I knew he wouldn't have a hope in
hell of ever beating me, yeah," Karkat told him smugly. It was about damned
time John finally grew a think pan and figured things out.
He wasn't sure which of them moved first to twine their fingers tighter
together. He was sure that it didn't matter.
Chapter End Notes
     Lookit the gorgeous_fanart by katcoo13! I especially adore the look
     on Karkat's face!
***** Chapter 3 *****
The next day Karkat went back to his usual outfit, and told himself sternly
that he was not disappointed by the sight of his reflection in the window on
the way out of his hive. He could and did admit that he missed the feel of the
softer fabrics Kanaya had used in his new clothes, and made a note to see if
she would make him a new sweater and jeans out of the same sort of thing.
John was certainly disappointed to see him back to normal, and it showed
clearly in his face when Karkat walked in. But he hid it well after the first
moment - and when Karkat reached for his hand, John not only didn't protest, he
met Karkat halfway.
Progress.
===============================================================================
"Of course I will be more than happy to make as many outfits as you like,"
Kanaya assured him, smiling happily. "I'm just glad to hear things went so
well."
"I told you he was flushed and just wouldn't admit it." Karkat was still so
pleased by the human's reaction that he damn near smiled back at her, managing
to turn it into an indifferent shrug at the last moment. He couldn't quite
dredge up the ire for a scowl. "You should have seen the look on his face when
he opened the door. I thought I was gonna need to find a pail."
"Karkat," she protested his crudeness, blushing. Against her glowing white
skin, the green flush looked like someone was shining a bright light through
flawless translucent jade. Then she chuckled. "Perhaps I should take that as a
challenge to find the outfit which will cause him to require one in truth."
"Yeah, that's the general idea," Karkat said, snorting. She blushed a little
harder, and he rolled his eyes at her.
Wandering over to the wall where she had sketches and pages torn from fashion
magazines plastered all over, he studied the myriad different designs. It was a
maddening swirl of colours and shapes, and he hardly knew where to start making
sense out of it. "Are all these drawings yours? They're pretty decent."
"Rose says that if I continue to study human fashions and trends, I could hope
to be accepted to a fashion institution," Kanaya told him, a note of awe and
disbelief in her voice. "They have entire schools dedicated wholly to the
subject, Karkat."
"Not surprising, considering you had a hand in creating the world," Karkat
reminded her. "They got my freakish blood and your ridiculous love of clothes.
Could be worse, I suppose."
"If it's so ridiculous, why are you here asking me for more outfits?" she
teased him gently. "I'd say you have been thoroughly bitten by the fashion
bug."
"Oh, go fuck yourself. I'm only doing this for John," Karkat snapped.
She didn't call him a liar. She even let him pretend that he wasn't blushing
while he said it. That had to be a sign of pity.
===============================================================================
Since their next planned meeting was at Karkat's hive, Karkat decided to reward
John for being willing to hold his hand by dressing up again. Getting into the
clothes and making himself look nice proved to be a little more difficult when
he had to do it the hard way, instead of letting Kanaya's wardrobifier do its
magic.
It was worth it for the delighted look on John's face when he walked into
Karkat's respite block. His shy, stammering compliments were music to Karkat's
ears.
They shared their first kiss that night, and despite their mutual hesitant
awkwardness, it almost felt like all the months of frustrated waiting had
finally paid off.
Progress indeed.
===============================================================================
"So, does this mean I should call you my gi... uh, boyfriend?"
Karkat glared at John, who had the grace to blush and flail his hands as if to
negate the slip. "No no, it's not because I think of you as a girl, it's just
that I always expected I'd have a girlfriend, not a boyfriend!"
"Yeah, because that's believable," Karkat grumbled. "Pull that again and I
won't wear anything but jeans and sweaters for a month." He tried hard not to
let himself care whether or not John would force him to follow through on the
threat. He would - he refused to allow the nookwhiffer to call him a girl, and
even if it really had been an accident, it shouldn't be the sort of accident he
was making.
But damn it, Kanaya had just convinced him to let her put a little colour into
his wardrobe, and he'd been looking forward to seeing John's reaction to the
soft sleeveless knitted tunic in the human's signature blue that he'd been
planning to wear tomorrow.
"Aw, don't be like that, Karkat," John pleaded, making baby woofbeast eyes at
him. "You'd be depriving yourself as much as me, I know you like wearing pretty
clothes."
"I do not," Karkat retorted, stung. The fact that John was totally right only
made him angrier at the accusation."I'm only wearing this shit because I'm
taking pity on your miniscule think pan and inability to process the simple
concept that my gender has nothing to do with your idiotic homosexual issue."
"Uh-huh, that's why all your t-shirts are made of softer fabric now?"
"Shut the fuck up, Egbert. And we're matesprits, get it right."
"Yeah, okay. I can't make a mistake that way. Matesprits."
Something warm glowed inside Karkat's thoracic cavity at the sound of John
calling him his matesprit.
===============================================================================
It didn't take long for Karkat to realize that although John no longer
hesitated to kiss him any time they were alone, he kissed a lot harder and more
passionately when Karkat was wearing something feminine. He was more likely to
be the one to start things, too. The prettier Karkat's outfit, the faster they
would end up making out and the hotter it would get, every time.
He thought maybe he should have been angry about it, but then again maybe he
should be grateful. It meant John wasn't treating him like he was delicate or
something. Either way, Karkat really couldn't bring himself to care when John
was exploring Karkat's mouth with his tongue while clutching at his shoulders
tight enough to bruise. Karkat enjoyed it when John was forceful, though he had
to be careful not to get too aggressive in response.
Not because John didn't like it, but because the human tended to end up
bleeding if he did. John didn't seem very fast to tell him to stop, either.
Definitely progress.
===============================================================================
"We're matesprits, right?"
Jarred out of the peaceful state of bliss he'd been in, Karkat opened his eyes
and glared up at the human boy. They were on John's bed, with John sitting
against the headboard and Karkat curled up perpendicular to him, his head
resting on John's lap. John had been running his hands gently through Karkat's
hair and occasionally stroking his horns, which in Karkat's opinion was nearly
as good as a make out session.
Having it interrupted by such moronic inanity made him a little pissy. "We
already had this conversation, Egbert. A fucking month ago. Did you forget? Or
does the incredible density of your think pan mean it only just now sank in?"
"No, I mean..." John shook his head and stroked his fingers through Karkat's
hair again, tugging gently on the longest strands. Karkat hadn't cut it since
John's wiggling day. Partly because he just couldn't be bothered, or so he told
himself, but he also had to admit that it was partly because John seemed to
like playing with it so much. And it looked good with his new outfits.
"You mean what, grubtard?" Karkat prompted irritably when John didn't seem
inclined to continue.
"Um..." John blushed, and his fingers tightened in Karkat's hair. "It's just,
well, you said once that probably the only person who would ever get to see
Terezi in a real skirt is her matesprit."
"Yeah, so?" Karkat fought the urge to tilt his head and increase the faint
tugging sensation.
"And that you would never wear a skirt for the same reason as her, because
you're a close-range fighter and it would hamper your movements."
"Yeah, so?" Damn, it was so hard to think when little tingles were running down
his spine like that.
"So... does that mean I'll get to see you in a skirt?"
Karkat's eyes snapped open again, though he hadn't realized he'd reclosed them.
He gave John a dirty look, highly suspicious. "Humans think only girls should
wear skirts," he said, his voice low and dangerous, the first hint of a warning
growl rumbling beneath the words.
"Yeah, but trolls don't, you said," John coaxed him, apparently oblivious to
the undertones. Or maybe just wilfully ignoring them, Karkat wasn't sure.
"Why do you want to see me in one?" Karkat demanded. "Still trying to convince
yourself that I'm practically a girl anyway?" That was his one fear, the rotten
grub that threatened to foul everything good in his life.
"Um, because I think you'd look really fucking hot," John admitted, blushing
but not looking away from Karkat's eyes. "I can't help it; I'm just attracted
to pretty clothes and sexy makeup, that's part of why I always thought I was
only interested in girls! And actually... I've kind of been thinking about this
a lot... I think it's hotter because you don't act like a girl, really. You act
like yourself, so I still get to have my best friend, but I also get to admire
you in lacy shirts and feminine shoes and all the rest of it. And I really,
really want to see you in a skirt. Please?"
Suddenly overheated, Karkat squirmed a little, and in the end he was the one
who broke eye contact. "Maybe," he muttered, burying his face in John's stomach
and nudging his horns against the boy's hand as a hint to start petting again.
"I'll think about it."
So John thought only people in feminine clothes were hot, and that's why he'd
thought he wasn't homosexual? Because human males weren't willing to wear
'girly' clothes - and the trolls as a whole were too utilitarian to bother,
even though they didn't have the same sort of stupid gender restrictions.
Karkat could work with that.
===============================================================================
Trolls didn't make nearly as big a deal over their wriggling day as humans did
over their birthday, but Karkat wasn't averse to letting John make a fuss about
his if the human wanted to. He did make it clear that he wasn't interested in
any kind of big party or going out anywhere - he had plans which very
definitely required him to be alone with John and safely inside his hive.
Call it his wriggling day present to himself. If he had anything to say about
it, tonight he was going to get pailed.
He was waiting in his respite block when John arrived, because there was no way
he was going to answer the door and chance anyone seeing him like this. Bad
enough that Kanaya had needed to see it, since he'd once again required her
help putting the outfit together. Deciding to think of her as his moirail was
about the only way he'd gotten through the experience, because she'd been
absolutely right when she'd said that he would feel too awkward and vulnerable
in a confining skirt.
He could only hope that she was wrong about the fact that he therefore wouldn't
look good in one. She'd seemed pleased enough with the results, smiling at him
in a very smug manner when she'd finished with him.
Judging by the utterly gobsmacked look on John's face when he walked in and saw
Karkat in the silky dress, he needn't have worried.
Progress complete.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Notes
     Fanart_by_Jane!
"Wow, you, um, wow, Karkat, just... wow," John stammered, eyes wide and face
rapidly flushing in the way that Karkat had come to love best.
Torn between being pleased and feeling a little self-conscious, Karkat crossed
his arms. Then he thought better of it and braced them behind him on his four-
legged level surface, so that he wouldn't obscure John's view of the dress.
Kanaya had truly outdone herself, and her work deserved to be appreciated, not
hidden.
"Savour it while you can," he told his matesprit. "You won't get to see it
often. Like I said, special occasions only."
"Yeah, okay," John breathed out, sounding dazed. "You... you look really,
really hot. Really."
And he really, really liked seeing that expression on John's face, Karkat
decided. Really. It was a mixture of awe and desperate desire that kindled an
answering flame low in Karkat's groin. It was definitely worth making himself
feel vulnerable like this, in high heels that threatened to turn his ankle if
he moved too fast and a full skirt that kept trying to get tangled in his legs.
He took a careful step towards John, trying to make the necessary slowness seem
deliberate and provocative. He saw John swallow hard, and for the first time
noticed that he could actually see the human's pulse beating faintly against
the fragile skin of his throat. The speed of it jumped suddenly when Karkat
took another step forward, and Karkat smirked.
"You like it?" he crooned, making no effort to hide the way his own voice was
edging higher and tighter with desire.
John opened his mouth as if to answer, but nothing came out. After a moment he
swallowed again and shut it, nodding intently. His eyes couldn't seem to decide
where to settle, drifting over the way the folds of the bodice draped over
Karkat's thorax, down past the filmy skirt that shifted faintly in the breeze
from the windows, all the way to the where the muscles in his exposed calves
were emphasized by the extra inches of the heels. Then he started back up
again, just as slow and thorough - and twice as appreciative.
"Well then, why are you just standing there?" Karkat demanded, melting a little
beneath the heat of John's gaze. "If you make me pounce you first, you're going
to end up bleeding, damn it." He probably would before the night was out
regardless, but they should at least delay it as long as possible if they
wanted this to end well. Stupid fragile humans.
"Right," John said, shaking his head like he was trying to wake up from a
dream. He stepped forward, and despite his best intentions to make John come to
him, Karkat met him in the middle.
With the heels on Karkat was a little taller than John, which let him
comfortably drape his arms over the other boy's shoulders to pull him close.
John wrapped his arms around Karkat's waist in turn, and their mouths came
together hungrily.
This was familiar territory now, and Karkat found the strawberry flavour of his
lip gloss a welcome addition to the already sweet taste of John's mouth. John
seemed to like it too, because he ran his tongue gently over the surface of
Karkat's lips, lapping it up in a way that made Karkat shiver in response.
Karkat worked one hand up into John's hair, careful not to scratch with his
claws but needing something to anchor him. John made the weird, low sound that
he'd said was a 'moan', and tilted his head back in response to Karkat's
tugging.
That opened up his neck, a target too tempting for Karkat to resist. He broke
the kiss and trailed his mouth lower, feeling the faint scrape against his lips
where John had not long ago started having to shave. So much hair all over
their bodies, it was so strange - Karkat had bluntly forbidden him to allow it
to grow when he'd found out that the possibility existed, but he had to admit
that the roughness of the stubble was exciting.
He couldn't quite resist the urge to draw his lips back over his teeth when he
reached the place where he could feel John's pulse thundering, but he managed
not to do more than rake his fangs gently over the skin. He tasted only the
salt of sweat, not the sharp tang of blood, and John moaned and shivered
against him.
John pulled him closer in response, and Karkat chirped faintly as he felt the
silky fabric of the dress slide against his skin. John's hands clenched in the
folds at the back, tugging it more firmly against his front, before sliding up
and down over his spine in a way that made Karkat chirp again, louder.
"Unless you say otherwise in the next five seconds, we are not stopping
tonight," he ground out, feeling compelled to offer some sort of warning and
knowing that his self control was not going to be good enough for him to stop
if they kept going this way. "I want to know exactly how freaky you aliens are,
and how the fuck you manage to get off with only half the equipment you need."
John froze against him, and for a moment Karkat thought maybe he'd gone too
far. Then the human boy groaned and pulled him closer still, nuzzling into the
side of Karkat's neck and nipping sharply with his ridiculously blunt teeth.
"That... had better be a fucking yes," Karkat said, his voice strained with the
effort it took to speak coherently.
"Mmm... will you leave the skirt on?" John breathed out against his skin. "It's
really, really sexy."
"Fffuuuuck yes," Karkat replied, the first word catching on a low warble that
insisted on escaping him. He tipped his head back as John bit him again, harder
this time, and tightened his hand in the human's hair. He wanted nothing more
than to dig his claws in, or better yet bite him back, but he kept control of
his urges with an effort.
Concentrating on what John was doing to him made it both easier and harder to
distract himself from what he wanted to be doing in return. Easier, because he
could lose himself in the amazing sensations sweeping through him, but harder
because it made him want to make John feel just as good.
"I'm going to fuck you into the wall, until you're screaming and crying my
name, begging for mercy," Karkat informed him, taking a step forward and
crowding John into backing up. "In fact, I'm going to fuck you so hard you
won't even remember how to talk, won't remember anything except how much you
want me to do it even harder."
Another few steps had John up against the wall as promised, and Karkat leaned
into him. A low growl trickled out of his throat, a sound intended to warn a
troll's partner to brace themselves. Something of the warning must have
translated in John's pathetic human subconscious mind, because he did indeed
brace himself against the wall behind him.
Karkat's mouth found John's throat again, and this time he couldn't resist the
urge to bite down. He kept it as gentle as he could, but he tasted blood and
heard John cry out, felt the boy's hands scrabbling over his back like he was
searching for a lifeline to hold.
Then John dropped one hand lower, dragging his fingers over the yielding flesh
of Karkat's ass, making him shudder. He kneaded there for a moment, wrenching a
chorus of chirps from Karkat's windtube as it started to close up on him.
Working one of his legs between John's, Karkat rocked his thigh up, rubbing
against the place where John's auto-erogenous shame globes should be. Either
that wasn't one of the pieces of equipment the human was missing, or else he
had something equivalent to it, because he moaned and ground down into the
contact.
He also definitely had a bone bulge - or whatever that stupid word they used
was, dick - because Karkat could feel it rubbing against his hip. His eyes went
wide as he realized how big it must be. Did humans make up for their missing
parts by making the bits they did have five times as large?
Suddenly feeling a little uncertain, Karkat released John's hair and back to
grab for his fly instead. He wanted to see just what he was getting into, here.
It didn't hurt that John practically whimpered at the touch and rocked into him
again, shifting to get his own thigh between Karkat's legs.
Karkat got another shock when he got John's pants open and found, not the mound
of protective bone he'd expected, but a stiff length of flesh that jutted up
from between John's thighs. It was hard to the touch, though the skin that
covered it was the softest Karkat had yet felt on a human. It twitched beneath
his fingers as John moaned louder, but didn't attempt to wrap around his hand
or really move at all. He wasn't sure it could.
"Jegus fuck, and here I thought Captor was the king of freaks," Karkat said
breathlessly. "What is that? Is that normal? There is no fucking way you are
putting that thing inside me."
"Wha... you're changing your mind?" John blurted out, lifting his head to give
Karkat a dismayed look. "Yes, it's normal, c'mon, it's not that bad, is it?"
It took Karkat a second to figure out what he was on about, but he finally
realized that the way he'd phrased his words could be taken as an indication of
his reaction rather than a simple statement of fact. He snorted. "No, I'm not
changing my mind, I am saying there is no physical way you are getting that
fucking monstrosity into my nook! Shit, how the hell are we going to do this?"
"Uh," John replied intelligently. It looked like he was having trouble forming
coherent thoughts. Karkat couldn't really blame him, because it was amazingly
difficult to think through the heat he could feel searing his body from the
inside out.
When he couldn't come up with any words, John apparently decided to try actions
instead. Catching the soft material of Karkat's skirt in his hands, he pulled
it up until he could slide one hand under it, seeking tentatively towards the
place between Karkat's legs.
Karkat warbled and tilted his hips up, both to encourage him and to give him
better access. His shame globes were throbbing already just with the
anticipation, and his nook was achingly empty.
John hesitated briefly when his fingers encountered the satiny lace of the
netherdressings Kanaya had insisted were the only thing appropriate to wear
with the dress. It wasn't because he was put off, though - he moaned again, the
loudest sound he'd made so far, and Karkat felt the human's dick jump in what
certainly seemed to be a positive reaction. His fingers were shaking faintly as
he slid them beneath the fabric, brushing over Karkat's shame globes before
finding the edges of his nook.
At the same time the heel of John’s palm was grinding against Karkat's bone
bulge, and he chirped softly as he thrust against the pressure. His bulge was
already working its way out from behind the protective shield, eager for the
feel of John's hand on him.
"Yeah, there's no way," John agreed breathlessly as his fingers explored the
outer dimensions of Karkat's nook. "How do you guys... whaaaa oh!" He jerked
his hand back abruptly, just as Karkat's bulge emerged to writhe against his
hand. Karkat keened and shuddered, denied the contact he was longing for. The
silk netherdressings felt pretty gog-damned amazing, but they weren't what he
really wanted.
Slowly John returned his hand, catching the top of the netherdressings this
time and pulling them down over Karkat's thighs to reveal his groin. Karkat's
bulge wriggled against his hand, then twined through his fingers when John
closed them around it. Karkat keened again as his hips jerked in reaction.
"Okay, okay," John repeated, seemingly to himself. He sounded caught somewhere
between being weirded out and thoroughly turned on. Or maybe being weirded out
was turning him on, Karkat didn't know and didn't care, just as long as he
didn't pull back again. "So this is supposed to go in there, I guess. Only I
don't have a 'there' and you're right that my dick is not going to fit in
yours. So... shit. What if I just play with this?"
He suited actions to words, stroking his fingers over Karkat's bulge in a way
that made him literally see stars for a moment. "Not... not enough," Karkat
somehow managed to gasp out past the constriction in his throat. "Need...
pressure inside. Or I won't be able to... get off. H-how do you...?"
"Touching me will be more than enough," John assured him with a breathy laugh.
"Especially if you keep, fuck, looking like that, god Karkat I've never seen
anything so hot in my life."
Just touching? Karkat couldn't imagine how that could possibly be enough, but
he did his best to comply, running his fingers up and down the length of John's
dick, trying to be mindful of his claws. John gasped and cried out, a hoarse
sound that made Karkat's shame globes throb harder.
"Harder," John pleaded, shivering. "Just... oh, god, just wrap your hand around
it, Karkat, yeah, that's it."
Feeling like this was surely going to end with screams of agony instead of
pleasure, Karkat reluctantly followed the human's instructions and tightened
his grip around the hard shaft. "Don't you dare even think about doing this to
me," he croaked, gastric bladder clenching as tight as his windtube at the
thought.
"No, you feel so... fragile," John marvelled, running his fingers along the
length of Karkat again. "Like all the softness and vulnerability the rest of
your body doesn't have is made up for here, you must trust me so much to let me
hold you like this, fuck."
"Pity," Karkat corrected him breathlessly, struggling for control. "It's not
trust, fuckass, it's pity. You're so wretchedly soft and pathetic you probably
couldn't hurt me even if you tried. I don't... I... shiiiiiit," he trailed off
in a warble as John's fingers found and teased at his shame globes. The human's
fingers were so soft and felt so good against his sensitive flesh, Karkat was
sure that there couldn't be any better feeling in the entire universe.
Worth the wait, fuck yes, and then some. Especially when John leaned in and bit
down hesitantly on the side of his neck, the pressure gentle like he wasn't
sure it would be welcome. Speech was quite thoroughly beyond Karkat now, but
the growl that worked its way out of his throat seemed to get his point across
well enough. John sank his teeth in a little deeper, still not breaking the
skin, but hard enough that Karkat could feel little sparkles of pleasure
radiating out from the bite.
John started rocking his hips up, thrusting the hard length of his dick through
the tunnel created by Karkat's fist, and he seemed to like the pressure there
just as much as Karkat liked the feel of his teeth. Getting the idea, Karkat
started stroking him in time with the rhythm, sliding his hand from root to tip
and back again. The soft skin caught against his calluses at first, but then
John started to leak colourless fluid from the tip and that helped to ease the
passage.
Getting a little desperate himself, Karkat crowded John against the wall and
ground their hips together instinctively. John pulled his hand out of the way,
but that just left Karkat more bereft than he'd started. The best he could do
was rub the head of John's dick repeatedly over the entrance to his nook, there
was just no way to get it inside where he needed it.
The feel of it bumping against his shame globes with each thrust was amazing,
but it wasn't enough. John was making those low moaning noises again, so there
was no doubt he appreciated rubbing against Karkat. Especially when Karkat's
bulge wrapped around his dick, seeking a nook that wasn't there and clinging to
the closest thing it could find. The squirming motions of his bulge against
John's dick seemed to do an excellent job of replacing his hand.
Karkat's growl turned into a whine, and he sank his teeth into John's neck
again, shivering with lust and frustrated desire. The hot, metallic spill of
blood over his tongue did nothing to appease him, indeed it made him burn
hotter still.
"Easy, easy," John was murmuring over and over in his ear, and Karkat realized
that he might be biting too hard. He eased up a little, and was rewarded by
John biting on his ear in turn, making him keen.
"Fuck, Karkat, you feel so good, look so good, shit," John gasped, his thrusts
gaining speed. "There has to be... something I can do for you, damn it..."
Karkat was about ready to say 'fuck it' and try to force John's dick inside
him, despite knowing it would only end in pain and a swift death of the heat
between them. Then John got his hand involved again, sliding it between his
dick and Karkat's body, careful not to pull on his bulge in the process.
Trying to marshal the wits to ask what the fuck he thought he was doing got
Karkat nothing but a series of chirps, but a moment later he didn't need to
ask. John got two of his fingers - those soft, blunt, wonderful, gog-fucking-
damned amazing fingers - into his nook.
And then he twisted them.
For a long, soul-shattering moment Karkat literally saw red, his vision
swimming with it as his throat closed up completely. He keened and shuddered
against John, hands clenching tight enough that he vaguely heard John yelp as
Karkat's claws pierced his hips. The rush of release hit him with the force of
a runaway intergalactic travel device, literally before he knew what was
happening.
John cried out and arched against him, and he was shaking too, babbling
something that might or might not have been important. It didn't really matter,
because Karkat couldn't comprehend the words as anything but strings of random
sounds, too lost in pleasure to wrangle them into something coherent.
Assuming they were coherent to start with, of course. If John felt half as good
as Karkat did in that moment, there was no way he was managing coherent speech.
When he came back to himself, Karkat discovered that he'd collapsed against
John's chest at some point, and only the wall was keeping them both upright.
John's breathing was as ragged and hard as Karkat's, his thoracic cavity rising
and falling beneath Karkat's cheek, his breath stirring the hair just over
Karkat's ear. He had one hand at the small of Karkat's back, the other still
buried inside him.
Gingerly Karkat released the death grip he had on John's hips, feeling the
sticky warmth of blood beneath his fingers as he did. "Sorry," he rasped,
barely able to shape the word but knowing he needed to say something.
To his surprise, John started to laugh. "For what? Carrying through on your
threat to fuck me senseless?"
"No, idiot. For clawing you to pieces," Karkat retorted, gently probing the
wounds. They weren't too deep, but it made John flinch and he realized in
dismay that the blood had trickled down to leave big blotches on John's pants
where they gathered around his thighs. "Shit, and for ruining your pants."
"Not half as much as you ruined that dress," John replied, and sighed. "It's
really a shame, it looked amazing on you, and now I won't get to admire you in
it for the rest of the evening."
He was right, Karkat realized, grimacing as he reached down and fingered the
formerly silky folds of the skirt. It was soaked with his genetic fluid now,
hanging limp and bedraggled instead of floating around his legs like it was
supposed to. "You caught me by surprise," he mumbled, blushing hard. "I didn't
have a chance to even think about grabbing a bucket. What about you, did
you...?"
"Oh, yeah," John said, his tone almost reverent. Just the way he said the words
made a tingle of heat run down Karkat's spine - or maybe that was due to the
thoroughly satiated look on his matesprit's face. "Believe me, I don't think
I've ever come that hard in my life. We should both clean up, and then I guess
you'd better change. My pants aren't too bad, I'll be okay."
He sounded so despondent as he said it that Karkat couldn't help but smirk at
him. "This isn't the only skirt Kanaya gave me, you know. 'Just in case', she
said." Had she known? No, how could she? Of course she'd have assumed that
Karkat would use a bucket, if she'd thought about it that explicitly at all.
Heat flooded John's eyes, and Karkat chirped despite himself in response. "I
think, if we want to do anything tonight other than have sex, you'd better save
the other skirt for later," John said carefully, like it took an effort for him
to remember how to form words.
Smirking, Karkat caught his hand and tugged him towards the ablution block.
"It's my wriggling day, fuckass. I'll wear whatever I want."
"Don't say I didn't warn you," John said, grinning giddily back at him. "Have I
mentioned that I really, really love how hot you are in a dress?"
"Have I mentioned that you're really, really a pathetic idiot?" Karkat
retorted, and stole a quick kiss.
Who knew pretty clothes could be both fun and rewarding in the best possible
ways?
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