Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/586121.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Regulus_Black/Lucius_Malfoy, Draco_Malfoy/Harry_Potter
  Character:
      Lucius_Malfoy, Draco_Malfoy, Regulus_Black, Narcissa_Malfoy, Harry
      Potter, Daphne_Greengrass, Astoria_Greengrass
  Additional Tags:
      Lucius_Big_Bang, Veela, Mpreg, Lost_Love, Memories, Marauders'_Era, Post-
      Hogwarts, Bottom_Draco, Top_Harry
  Series:
      Part 1 of Lucius's_Lies
  Collections:
      Death_Stories, Interspecies, Marauders_Era
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-12-07 Words: 15838
****** Lucius's Lies ******
by Elfflame
Summary
     Lucius Malfoy has many secrets, the deepest and most darkest of which
     is who his son's other parent truly is.
Notes
     This is a story I've been considering for a few years, so I'm
     thrilled to have the chance and push to do this story. One of my
     first story ideas was a Harry/Draco fic where Lucius fought against
     the two of them coming together, called What's_Done_Is_Done. It was
     written and posted just before Half Blood Prince was published, and
     as such, had many non-canon issues, but it's still one of my favorite
     stories. The problem was, Lucius and Regulus's story took over so
     much of the fic, I realized it was really more about them than Harry
     and Draco. So I thought maybe it was time to redo it and canon-ize
     it, this time from Lucius's point of view, and see what happens. And
     here it is. I hope everyone enjoys it.
  This work was inspired by
      What's_Done_Is_Done by Elfflame
A Drama in Seven Acts; Set in the present, buried in the past
I.1
Draco and I had been arguing for hours, from the moment I had shown him the
marriage contract. I had known this would not go well when I had discovered him
in bed with the person I thought him least likely to fixate upon—Harry Potter.
I had known fighting our ancestral inheritance might be difficult, but I had no
idea he'd become fixated on anyone, let alone who that fixation might be.
So now, I had to deal with the consequences—with my son. "I won't do it. You
can't force me," Draco ranted at me as he paced the room. It was something I
was quite used to by now. His face was red, and he seemed so certain I would
never understand; sure that I have never known passion; that I am an
emotionless bastard. I find it hard to repress my anger at his assumption.
Little does he appreciate the truth of his life. But if I can help it, it is a
truth he will never understand. A truth Narcissa and Severus have helped me to
keep from him all these years.
I should have known there would be trouble when Potter chose to assist us in
our trials at the Ministry. The boys had always had too much feeling for one
another. I should have seen it then. Or even before, with my son's almost-
decade-long obsession with the half-blood.
I know what Narcissa will say. That I should tell him the truth. That it can't
hurt anything now for him to know it. That perhaps it might help him understand
the choices I made for my son. For the child of my heart. For my Draco.
But let me introduce myself. I am Lucius Malfoy, son of Abraxas Malfoy, husband
of Narcissa Malfoy née Black, and father of one very stubborn Draco Malfoy,
recently a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. A school
which he was lucky enough to be allowed to return to after the trials to finish
the schooling that had been so recently interrupted. A school where he recently
discovered a passion different from that he'd known before when it came to
Harry Potter, the Great Saviour. It is irrelevant whether that passion came
about because Potter had helped us, or whether it was because the extra
returning students had all been housed in one dorm had allowed the two to spend
more time together that allowed them to finally grow close.
What is relevant is that my son's heart was never his to give. He has always
been promised to one of Greengrass's daughters once they were of age. I had
hoped that time at school with both of them in the same House would help him
grow closer to one or the other, but instead, I found myself having to deal
with…this.
Draco finally dropped into the chair facing me, his eyes pleading with me to
understand, and it was hard for me to simply ignore his hope, even though I
know it must be done. For his sake. For mine. "He is my choice, father. Not
whoever it is you've chosen for me. So you'll just have to break the contract,
won't you?"
Silence stretched out between us. I knew he would hate me for my answer, but
there was no other I could give, whatever he might want. "No." The contract
might have been forced on me by my father, but to break it now would reveal
greater secrets, I am sure. And that, I cannot allow.
Draco's jaw clenched at my words, and I had to look away from the anger
radiating off him. I can't help but wonder if he realizes he can do that, or
how much it upsets me when he is so angry with me?
"No? No you won't, or no he's not the right choice? Because either way, it is
done, father. Nothing can change that now."
Alarmed at his words, I turned to look at him once more. He couldn't have used
the Veela blood we have tried so hard to hide for so many years to do something
foolish, could he? Had I been mistaken in assuming his anger was nothing more
than being thwarted, when in reality there were more at stake? My own anger
slipped out of my control at the thought. "What does that mean? What have you
done, you stupid boy?"
Draco's eyes flashed then, triumph in his face. He was sure he'd won. "We're
bonded, father. And you can't break that, no matter what you do." Horrified, I
was too late to catch him as he surged to his feet, chin raised, and looked
down at me. "So…I suppose you shall have to marry the chit yourself." With
that, he turned on his heel and stormed from the room before I could stop him.
Alone, I closed my eyes, and tried to suppress the flood of anger and fear and
even jealousy that raged inside me.
I.2
An Excerpt from the Private Journal of Lucius Malfoy
Regulus Black is coming to stay with us for the summer. His brother has been
disowned, and it seems his mother has decided it best he spend time with
someone who will be a good influence on him for a change.
This should be fun.
I first met Regulus Black years ago when he was barely a toddler. But as a boy
getting ready to go off to Hogwarts, I had no interest in infants, and
certainly no regard for the second son of the Black family. Even if he were
Wizarding Royalty, as my father had told me before our meeting that day.
I met him a second time a few years ago when Bellatrix Black and Rodolphus
Lestrange became engaged. The party included anyone who was anyone in the
wizarding world.
At the time, the boy was just growing out of his awkward stage: thirteen, tall,
and more slender than his elder brother. Worse, he seemed glued to his
brother's side, and Sirius glowered at all who came near, but especially me.
Rodolphus, Bella and I were all Marked by then, and I think Sirius knew it,
somehow. But then, he hadn't grown up in a Slytherin, Pure-blood world without
understanding a few things about how we work. Even Gryffindor as he is.
So though I found Regulus far more intriguing that night, I got no more than a
few words with him before his brother chased me off.
But now, he will have no chance to come between us. I'm looking forward to
finding out if Regulus is more like his brother or his cousin Bellatrix. I've
heard a few things from Severus about Regulus, but mostly sneers about how he
tries so hard to get his brother's attention at school.
Well, if he needs someone to look up to, I'm sure I can provide just that. And
perhaps a bit more, if I'm not reading Severus wrong.
Yes, I think this summer will be one to remember for a very long time.
I.3
Regulus was taller than I remembered when he appeared at the Manor that day.
I'd known he was coming. Mother had told me he would be staying for the
entirety of the summer. Father had warned me I was not to 'show any of my usual
deviant proclivities' around the boy. But I wasn't about to let him put me off
my plans for Regulus. Not now that Sirius was no longer in the picture. I was
going to have a bit of fun this summer, no matter what father thought of the
idea.
When he arrived, I kept away, just out of the boy's sight, and let mother tut
at him and brush him off. Only once he seemed presentable and able to string
together more than a word or two did I come down the main staircase. Even then,
I knew how to make an entrance.
"Regulus. How good to see you again."
When he looked at me, his eyes were wide, shadowed with circles that could only
have been caused by lack of sleep. I could just imagine how his brother's
betrayal had hurt him. He seemed to gather himself before he managed a nod.
"Lucius."
"Would you like to go for a ride? The elves can deal with your things. It's a
lovely day, and I am sure the sun and fresh air would do you good."
Regulus glanced at my mother, who gave him a slight nod. "I'll have the elves
put everything away for you. Go and relax. See the property. I'm sure Lucius
will be good company for you." She shot me an admonishing look before turning
away, one I wasn't sure if I was to interpret as 'treat him gently,' or 'don't
forget what your father told you,' or something else entirely.
Instead, I ignored it, setting my hand on Regulus's arm. "Come. The horses are
already saddled. I figured you'd enjoy a good ride once you got here," I told
him as I led him away.
That first day, I watched him relax beside me as we rode, and did little more
than listen once he began to spill his worries to me. Some surprised me. He was
hurt by his brother's departure, but he did not feel betrayed so much as
abandoned. Others did not. He was quite pleased to be away from his mother's
ravings about his brother and everything that was wrong with the world.
We only came in when an elf came to tell us it was time to prepare for supper.
We parted at the top of the stairs to go to our rooms, but Regulus made sure to
thank me before we went our separate ways.
"I wasn't sure what it would be like here. I thought you wouldn't be interested
in the problems of someone so much younger."
I squeezed his shoulder. "Nonsense. I know if I were to have a brother do the
same to me, the first thing I would need is someone willing to listen. You can
tell me anything, Regulus." Then I nodded and turned away, leaving him standing
at the top of the stairs, watching me go.
Always leave them wanting more, if you can. That one I had learned very early
on. It has helped me many times over the years, but that night, it felt like
the ultimate victory, feeling his eyes on me as I walked away.
II.1
My son has always known just how to anger me. Usually by using juvenile tactics
to show he's upset. Like slamming doors, giving me the silent treatment, or
avoiding me entirely. This time, he chose the third. No amount of cajoling by
Narcissa could convince him to speak to me again.
To make things worse, only a week after they'd finished their schooling, he'd
asked Potter to move into the Manor. Potter, being the uncouth halfblood he is,
accepted the invitation, rather than remind my son that perhaps he might not
feel comfortable under this roof after what had happened to he and his friends
here during the war. It had only been a few weeks so far, but the number of
times I'd stumbled upon the two whispering and doing unmentionable things in
some alcove of the Manor was beginning to wear on my temper in a whole new way.
Draco thought he had won, but it gave me no joy to know he was wrong. I dreaded
explaining to him just why this was all so inadvisable, but I continued to try
speaking with him, in hopes that he would calm down soon enough for me to
explain things as they truly were. He was never alone, though, and I refused to
say anything in front of Potter.
Instead, my hand was forced. Greengrass sent a letter stating that he and his
family would be coming to supper the next week so that we could get plans
underway for the marriage now that the children had finished their schooling.
In the end, I had to order Draco to come speak with me in my study. That was
something I only reserved for those times when I knew Draco would listen no
other way. Usually it was when he did something disastrously stupid, and while
I was against the match with Potter, I was not against seeing my son happy. But
my hands had been tied since Draco had been just an infant; and he needed to
understand why.
When he arrived, he stood just inside the door to the room, glowering at me.
"Whatever you have to say, it's not going to change anything, father. Harry's
staying."
"I think you'll find that it will, Draco. Sit."
Draco's chin rose. "I'm fine where I am, father. Say your piece so I can
leave."
I kept as tight a hold on my temper as I could manage, and slid a scroll across
the top of my desk. "Read it. Then perhaps you will understand."
"I don't care what you've changed your will to say, father. You'd never disown
me." He didn't move from the door, and I couldn't help but wonder if Potter
were waiting just on the other side of the door to 'rescue' him if needed. As
though I would hurt my only child.
"Read it, Draco. It is not my will." I was tempted to pour a drink, but best to
leave that for after he left. After his reaction. After I lost everything left.
Draco stood, watching me for a long time before he finally approached. I
wondered just when I had begun to lose him. Had it been upon meeting Potter? My
former Lord's return? The year my son had risked all to free me? So many
moments. So much I should have protected him from, but had not. "Just read it,"
I said again, softer now that Draco stood in front of my desk, staring down at
it as though he were sure it would bite him.
Lifting the scroll, Draco pulled it open, frowning as he began to read it. I
could see the moment when my son got to the relevant portion; watching as
shock, horror, and then fury flashed across his face. He dropped the scroll on
the desk and glowered at me. "No! I won't! That…both of them are…harpies!"
"Draco…"
"No! I refuse. If you want them joined to this family, you marry them!"
Draco spun on his heel to leave, but I spoke before he could take a step. "If
you don't, the Manor is lost, Draco." My words hit him like a blow, and I
watched him shudder.
He held himself rigidly, trying to keep any further emotion from showing,
though he kept his face turned from mine. "Why…? Why would you do…this?"
"I had no choice, Draco."
"Bullshit!"
"Draco! Language. Surely we've taught you better than that?"
"Then stop lying to me! Why did you agree to…to this…" He grasped for an
appropriate word for a moment before snarling out, "Nonsense?"
"Because it was for the best at the time. Because I thought you would still
have a choice. And because I had no idea that you would get attached to some…"
I had to restrain my disgust, only managing just barely. "…Halfblood."
"Why take the choice from me at all? Surely you knew there had to be a chance I
wouldn't get on with her…and at the time, there was only Daphne. What were you
thinking?"
"I was thinking that it would be better than your grandfather sending you away,
Draco."
The shocked look Draco sent me reminded me all too well of how hard that choice
had been.
II.2
An Excerpt from the Private Journal of Lucius Malfoy
Father and I have never seen eye to eye, least of all where my preferences for
bed-mates lie. He thinks that at this point I should already be married with an
heir, but how could I? Women simply do not interest me. Besides, when the time
comes, I know just how to deal with having an heir. But that is for later, not
now.
With Regulus here, he seems to be keeping an extra close watch on me. Still,
I've found ways around his restrictions, and Regulus does not seem too upset by
the attention.
So far we have ridden nearly every day, and I have been teaching him some finer
points of strategy when it comes to chess. When it rains, we spend much of our
time in the library, where father seems to think I cannot 'corrupt' the boy.
Little does he know.
I have found that Regulus all but devoured the Greek poetry I gave him, and
immediately asked for more the next morning. Our discussion was, shall we say,
illuminating?
He is lovely when he blushes.
But…Father must have his say, so we will pretend as if there is nothing between
us. Though I suppose Regulus does seem completely unaware of my interest. Could
he truly be that innocent, and still be a Black and a Slytherin?
So we will be having a ball this weekend. It is my father's way of encouraging
me to find an eligible girl to marry, though the only person I am interested in
is Regulus. Just reading that makes me almost understand my father's worry. I
should not be so attached. I need to try my best not to think about him.
Perhaps a ball is for the best for both of us.
II.3
The Malfoy family has always been known for its grand parties and balls. Our
house seemed practically made for them, and mother did so enjoy them. I did
not, of course, but I was good at pretense. And this ball was no exception.
Every girl father introduced me to, whether I knew them from school or not,
received the same smile, a kiss on the back of their hand, and a dance. But
after two hours of pretending I cared, I realized my eyes were straying towards
Regulus far more often than to my female companions.
Finally I gave in to the temptation, and approached him. He'd been dancing with
one of his cousins. Narcissa, if I remembered the names right. I wondered if
they were close. Perhaps close enough that their parents might choose to have
them marry? But for now…I could no longer resist the urge to have him to
myself, if just for a few minutes.
I picked up a pair of champagne flutes as a tray passed, then moved to his
side. "Have you been enjoying yourself?" I asked him.
He'd been watching me approach, then took the glass I offered. "It's been
enjoyable enough. I see your father has kept you busy?"
"He does seem intent upon marrying me off tonight, if he can," I answered,
looking to see where he was. I wasn't ready to dance with yet another simpering
girl who barely knew how to string two words together. "Why don't we take a
little break from all this frivolity?"
Regulus nodded. "Yes, please. Before Narcissa follows through on her promise to
bring Alice Foster for me to dance with. I mean, honestly, she's three years
older. And a Hufflepuff."
I chuckled at his horror, then glanced toward father to make certain he wasn't
watching when we left. I led Regulus to a small smoking room off a side-hall
that few knew about or used.
"Foster? Is that the mousy one?" I asked, once we were alone.
"Yes. Narcissa…adopted her toward the end of her time at Hogwarts, and she's
sure that if I just gave her a chance…" He shuddered, then took a gulp from his
glass, revealing just how uncomfortable the thought made him.
"Not your type, then?" I asked softly, watching his face when he answered.
Regulus blinked at me for a moment. "Well…no. I mean…even if I did like her,
she'd never survive in our family. She'd fall apart the first time mum even
glanced at her sideways. And…as I said, she's far too old."
"So…what is your perfect girl, then?" Morbid curiosity, perhaps, but I couldn't
seem to help myself.
Regulus seemed startled by the question. "I…don't know. I've never really
thought about it." He stared down into his glass, silent for a time, and I was
just about to ask for further details when he spoke again. "I've never really
seen any girl I would really consider that way, I guess…"
"No?" I couldn't resist leaning closer, though Regulus didn't seem to notice.
"No one you've considered spending your life with?" I asked him softly.
Regulus's eyes were nearly blue when they met mine. "Just one person," he
whispered, then flushed and looked away. "I mean…not…not really."
Well, and wasn't that an interesting response? Perhaps I wasn't the only one
interested here? "Not really?" I asked him, keeping my voice that same soft
tone.
Still flushing, he shook his head. "No one. I mean…no one…eligible."
I couldn't resist teasing him at that. "Oh? Is she a mudblood?"
Regulus scowled at me. "Lucius…that's disgusting!"
"I'm glad to hear that. So…why isn't she eligible, then, hm?"
It really was adorable to watch Regulus squirm, so I probably let the silence
stretch out between us longer than it should have. I was just about to admit I
had guessed when he finally found his voice. "Not…she," he whispered.
At the tremble in his voice, I softened. The boy was making me weak, and yet, I
could not resist the urge to stroke his shoulder. "I understand," I told him,
keeping my voice soft.
Regulus looked up at me, and I could see the disbelief written plain across his
face. And beneath…hope. "Do you? But you're so…proper. Perfect."
I couldn't help but smirk at that. "Yes. I'm very good at pretending to be what
people want." So much so that I often managed even to convince myself. But
something about Regulus had changed that for me. "I don't usually let others
see what it is I truly want." As I spoke, my fingers skimmed across his
cheekbone. "Usually, I just take what I want. Father…frowns on it."
"He does seem to frown at you a lot," Regulus said, though his eyes never left
mine. "Is that why?"
For a moment, only, I debated with myself. But then I leaned in and brushed my
lips over Regulus's. "That's why," I told him, meeting his eyes.
If Regulus had been flustered before, it was nothing to what he was now.
"Lucius?"
I am not the sort to do things halfway. Usually I take with no regrets,
regardless of what the other person might want, but there was something about
Regulus that kept me from reacting in my usual way. "Is that not what you
meant?"
"Yes. But…"
I wasn't about to let him second-guess this any further. "Then enjoy. No one
but us has to know."
He was still hesitating when I put an arm around his waist and pulled him
closer, but when my lips pressed against his, he melted against me, his fingers
tangling in my robe. I'd felt others' submission before, but this was
different. Heady in a whole new way.
He tasted of chocolate and of the champagne we'd drunk moments before. His
sighs as I kissed him were richer than both, making my head spin with the need
for more.
I would have taken it, too, but for the gasp from the doorway. Regulus jerked
away at the sound, but I kept my arm around him even as I turned to see who had
stumbled upon us here. I'd Obliviate whoever it was if need be, but hopefully
there would be less dangerous options.
When I saw Narcissa Black in the doorway, I wasn't certain if that was a good
thing or a bad one. And when she spoke, I wasn't much reassured.
"Regulus…what are you doing? I told you…"
The expression on his face was a familiar obstinacy so common in his family,
but I had never seen it in the boy I'd come to know since he had arrived here.
"You told me not to trust him. But…I do, Cissa. He's not like you say."
She glowered at me as though I'd forced Regulus to say the words. Or possibly
because my arm was still around his waist.
"He uses people, Regulus. He'll say anything—"
"I assure you, Narcissa, I have told him nothing but the truth. You may find
that hard to believe, but he and I…"
This time, she focused on me fully, her grey eyes glittering. "When his mother
finds out, how do you think she will respond, Lucius? Especially coming so soon
after…" She stopped, paling, and looked at Regulus, obviously realizing
mentioning his brother would only make him more stubborn. "Please…come dance
with Alice, Regulus."
I could see her worry, and couldn't fault her. After all, she knew me well
enough from my time at Hogwarts. Even I couldn't understand what made Regulus
so different.
"No." Both of us looked at Regulus, startled at the firmness in his voice. "I'm
staying here. With Lucius. If you want to marry Foster into the family, maybe
you should go introduce her to Sirius."
Her cheeks coloured. "That's not funny, Regulus…"
"It wasn't meant to be. I'm…I'm sick of doing what everyone else tells me I
should. Of being the good one who follows all the rules. I…I'm not going
anywhere. Even if mother comes and tries to drag me away herself."
I couldn't help but wonder if Narcissa would arrange just that, but the look on
her face said she was terrified of what would happen if Walburga saw us
together. I couldn't help but wonder if she would be horrified or approve,
simply due to my own allegiances.
"Fine. But when he hurts you, and I assure you he will, Regulus—I've known him
far too long not to know that—well…you know where to find me." She shot another
venomous look at me, and for a moment I thought she would chastise me as well,
but then she turned on her heel, striding from the room, and the door shut
behind her with a hard click.
We were alone once more.
III.1
The Greengrass family had been invited to dinner the Saturday after Draco and I
had our last fight in my office. Draco, however, had been avoiding me, so by
the night before, I had yet to tell him. Finally, I insisted that Narcissa do
it, in hopes that he might actually behave himself for at least one evening.
Morgana knew what would happen if he upset them.
Our guests arrived precisely at the appointed time—the girls first, followed by
their mother, then their father.
Lawrence was a tall, thin man who had kept as neutral as possible both during
the Dark Lord's first rise and his second. He always had a bit of a sneer on
his face, particularly when he looked at me. There might have been a time when
the two of us could have been friends, but he had always been one to keep his
own counsel, and had looked upon me poorly after learning of my preferences in
bed partners. But as I had no need of his friendship, his disregard had never
bothered me. At least not until I had learned he was one of three options for
the father of the girl who would become Draco's bride.
There had been many times since when I had wished that he had not been the one
chosen.
His wife, Althea, was a docile thing, and I had hoped that one or the other of
their daughters might be as biddable, but as they settled next to each other on
the sofa, I could see my hopes were for nothing. Daphne, the elder of the two
looked around the room appraisingly. Not one detail missed her sharp eyes. The
younger, Astoria, looked soft enough until her eyes met mine, and what I saw
there made me look away. She might pretend it, but her innocence was no less a
mask than any of mine.
Narcissa was quick to greet each of them, and I thanked whatever dark god might
be watching over me that she had agreed to be my bride, despite everything.
Without her, I knew that Draco and I would have been in a far worse place. She
offered drinks, assuring them that Draco would be down soon. At her mention of
our son, I had to restrain myself to keep from glaring at the door.
Lawrence must have noticed my scowl, despite my attempt to hide my displeasure.
"I hear your son and Potter have gotten close, Lucius. Is it true?"
It was hard not to grind my teeth at the man's familiarity. "Draco and Potter
are friends. Why, Greengrass? Does it bother you?"
He smiled a bland smile at me. "Of course not. After all, we both know what
happens if you fail to follow through on our contract…"
As though I needed the reminder that either way, this house would be theirs.
Either when I was gone, or sooner, if Draco refused to go along with the
wedding. "I wouldn't say that in front of my son," I said instead. "His temper
has been short, of late." I knew why, but I hardly wanted to acknowledge the
fact even to myself.
Lawrence's smirk seemed to grow at the words, obviously assuming that the
contract was what had my son so riled. "Well…it makes no difference to me.
Either way…"
Before I could turn on him, Narcissa was there offering us each a glass of
wine, then pulled me away, pretending she needed to ask something, her voice
low as she led me to the far side of the room. "Remember why we're doing this,
Lucius. Draco will make things difficult enough. He hardly needs you to make
things worse."
I took a calming breath. She was right. I'd just have to avoid the man until
Draco arrived. Surely it wouldn't be too much longer?
But it was. We'd been waiting for nearly an hour before Narcissa went to see
what was keeping him, and when she returned, not only Draco, but Potter
accompanied her.
I moved to greet them at the door. "What is he doing here?"
"Either I go with him, or he stays, father," Draco told me, glowering.
Potter wasn't looking at me at all. He was watching the girls, and his arm kept
twitching toward my son.
"If he causes a problem, Draco…"
"He won't. Now…let me deal with this." He walked to where the girls were
sitting. "Daphne. Astoria. I thought perhaps each of us could take a walk? One
before dinner, one after?"
I narrowed my eyes. What was the boy planning?
Daphne met his gaze. "Together, I think, Draco. After all, it's not like the
two of us won't discuss what you've talked with us about. Best to just get it
all out in the open, don't you think?"
My son bristled, then glanced over his shoulder at Potter, a movement which I
know Lawrence caught. I saw his eyes narrow, though he held his tongue, but I
knew I would hear about it as soon as my son was out of hearing range.
After a moment, he turned back to Daphne. "Very well." He moved a step closer,
holding out his arm to her, and I wondered how her sister would react. She
seemed to put on her most biddable expression and stood, moving around him to
take the other arm.
We watched as the three of them made their way to the patio doors together,
Potter moving to open them, then following them out and closing the doors
behind them. I sent a fleeting thought to whatever ancestors might be watching
over us that Draco would watch his tongue and not mention his current
attachment to Potter, though I had little hope I would be so lucky. Then I
turned my attention to the Greengrasses in hope of distracting us all from what
might be going on between our children.
III.2
An Excerpt from the Private Journal of Lucius Malfoy
Regulus and I returned to the party after Narcissa's chastisement, but every so
often, we would sneak off to be alone. I simply couldn't resist the urge to
kiss him, now that I knew he would let me.
No, we weren't caught again. Not even by Narcissa. But father was quite irate
when I told him at the end of the evening that none of the ladies I'd danced
with that evening would do. His anger was stifled, though. He knew I had
someone on my side who would make life very difficult for him if he angered me.
Still, the last week has been quite chilly here at the Manor; particularly at
supper. Regulus has taken to avoiding any room with my father in it. Not that I
can truly blame him.
That doesn't stop me from spending time with him, of course. Out of father's
sight, though. We spend time in the gardens, or riding through the countryside
on horseback, or even heading to town to find time alone there.
Unfortunately, the summer will come to an end all too soon. I hate the thought
of not being able to see him as constantly as I have this summer. But I can
hardly hold him here. Should I do so, father would learn of my preference for
him, and that would never do.
We will be parting the week before his return to Hogwarts, and I find myself
making and discarding plans for how to keep him here, or have my way with him,
or even to find ways to run off with him before he has to leave. But I know
that I will not follow through on any of them.
It is not father's displeasure that worries me, but my Lord's. He has dealt
with others who abandoned his side quite harshly in the past, and I am not
willing to become another example.
So instead, I will promise to come visit during Hogsmeade weekends, and that we
will see each other during the winter break. It won't be enough, but we will
manage, and hopefully the time will pass quicker than I think. I have to hope
so, at least.
III.3
As lovely as my summer had been, so dark was my autumn . The Dark Lord had new
orders for all of us. There were not enough of us, he said, and we should all
find new Purebloods to join the cause.
I was singled out specifically. He waved me closer as the rest of my fellows
disbanded and returned to their homes. Bellatrix shot me a dark glare that
promised a less than friendly greeting next time we met. I couldn't help but be
glad that she and Lestrange had not been available to attend the party my
parents had thrown this summer. Had she found me with Regulus, things might
have been much more dire.
My relief soon turned to concern when I learned why my Master wished me to
remain.
"I have heard that you have grown close to the young Black this summer, Lucius.
Is this true?"
My response took a few seconds too long to come. "It is, Master." He couldn't
want Regulus, surely? He was still too young. Besides, he already had
Bellatrix. Surely a male Black could wait until Regulus was of age?
The Dark Lord smirked at my hesitation, and internally I winced. He knew how I
felt about Regulus, I could see that already. But then, none of us had ever
been able to hide anything from him. "Good," he purred. "Continue the
friendship. Draw him closer. Woo him to our cause. Surely, as a Black he will
already be predisposed to stand beside us? And with his cousin already one of
us…"
I bowed my head, my stomach churning. "As you wish, my Lord."
I did not wish to do it. Regulus was not like his cousin. I had already come to
treasure the innocence in him. The openness. To make him one of us; I knew that
would kill something inside him.
If the Dark Lord read my thoughts, he gave no sign. "Good. Come to me when you
think him ready."
The words gave me an opening, and I promised myself I would do everything in my
power to convince him to wait. "As you wish, Master." I bowed low.
Whether it were that bow, so much more obeisance than I usually gave, or that
he had read my thoughts, the Dark Lord stopped me with his next words. "And
Lucius…I mean to have him within the year. Do not think to delay it longer."
I closed my eyes, my head still bowed, and did what I could to gather myself.
My voice was hoarse when I spoke once more. "As you wish, Master."
IV.1
The supper was ruined, of course.
When the children returned, Astoria's cheeks were red spots, and her sister's
face ruddy with anger. She'd given her father no reasons, but had insisted they
leave. After some argument, the four left, and I turned on my son.
"What have you done, Draco?"
Draco was practically leaning against Potter, which in and of itself would have
set my teeth on edge, but now, it was enough to have me considering hexing the
boy, the Ministry be damned.
"I only told them the truth, father," Draco said, chin raised, eyes defiant.
"That if I were to marry a woman, it would be nothing more than a marriage of
convenience. I already have my mate, and none will be placed above him."
"Are you mad?" My words echoed loudly through the room, but it was Narcissa's
hand on my arm that stopped me from continuing my tirade.
"Lucius…"
I shook her hand off my arm. "He has to learn, Narcissa…"
"The way you did?" she asked. Her eyes were sad when I looked at her. I turned
away from her, not wanting to answer, not wanting to remember, and met my son's
eyes. His eyes were wide, his hand clutching Potter's, and there was a crease
between his brows, as though he was trying to understand what our words could
possibly mean.
He opened his mouth to ask, but I snarled and stormed from the room before he
could. I couldn't discuss this rationally. Once I'd cooled a bit, perhaps, but
not now.
Narcissa refused to let me brood, though. Within the hour, she was at my study
door, knocking only once before entering with a tray of the supper the elves
were meant to serve our guests.
"Go away, Narcissa. I am not in the mood."
She set the tray on my desk, expression unreadable, then proceeded to chastise
me. Another woman might have put their hands on their hips, but Narcissa had no
need to project her annoyance with me. If anyone had seen her, they might
suspect she was merely telling me the weather outside—until they heard her
words. "If you do not wish to speak, then don't. But you will listen, Lucius.
If you do not stop this, you will lose your son. The son you have fought so
hard to keep and protect all these years. Is that really what you want? Because
nothing will separate them now."
I glared at her, but kept silent.
"He deserves to know, Lucius. And if you do not tell him, I will."
"You wouldn't dare, Narcissa. It is not your secret to tell." I stood up, my
body shaking slightly from holding back, but she met my gaze unflinchingly.
"I stood back and watched once, Lucius. And look what good that did. You made
me a part of this family. So you will listen. Or I will make certain your son
does not make the same mistake."
"If you so much as suggest…"
"He is my son too, Lucius. Or have you forgotten that?" Her eyes were cold now.
But this was something I couldn't give in on. Draco had to understand that
things couldn't be how he wanted. "If you tell him, Narcissa, I will see to
it…"
"What? You'll divorce me? God forbid others think you might not be in love with
a woman. You'll send me away? Where could you send me that I could never speak
to Draco? This will happen, Lucius. Whether you want it or not. You can either
stand with me, or lose what little we have retained. Is that truly what you
want?"
I turned away, and could feel my teeth grind together.
When I didn't answer, she spoke again. "Think on it, Lucius. If you refuse
still within a week…well…you will have to face the consequences, I suppose." I
heard her move toward the door, but she stopped before opening it. "He is no
longer a child, Lucius. And he deserves to know. From you. He deserves to know
him." Her voice was soft and sad, stirring up my own thoughts, and even had I
wanted to answer, I knew my voice would be too shaky to respond. I heard the
door open. "Very well, then. We can talk in the morning."
The door closed, and she was gone.
I didn't eat at all that night. Nor did I sleep. I knew if I tried, he would be
there to haunt me.
IV.2
An Excerpt from the Private Journal of Lucius Malfoy
Knowing my Lord's plans for my young lover, I have been doing my best to
distance myself from him once more. Not physically, of course, as my Lord
expects me to bring Regulus to him. But emotionally.
It has proven harder than I had expected. Every time Regulus touched me when we
met in Hogsmeade, or smiled at me upon seeing me waiting for him, I could feel
my rebuilt walls crumble a bit more.
Each time we saw one another, I ached when I returned home from trying to hold
myself back. Each time, I struggled to rebuild my walls once more.
To distract myself from thoughts of him, I also allowed father to suggest
possible brides. I knew I would have to marry eventually. Perhaps it would
provide the distraction I needed to separate myself from Regulus. The girls he
chose to introduce me to were invariably insipid and banal. Worse, rarely did I
manage an evening with one where I did not feel I had ground my teeth to nubs
before I returned home for the evening.
Only once did I reject a suggested bride. Bellatrix was already off the market,
and her younger sister Andromeda had been disowned, which left only one Black
sister—Narcissa. When I refused outright, father demanded to know why. That had
been a difficult conversation, but I managed to convince him that I was worried
that Narcissa would follow in her elder sister's footsteps.
Bellatrix had never been the most sane of our circle of acquaintances near my
age, but after taking the Mark, she had become increasingly unhinged with each
passing year. She and Rodolphus had yet to have children, and most in our
circle knew why, or at least speculated—she used magic to cleanse her body to
keep it 'pure' for our Master. The likelihood was that in doing so, she also
kept herself from becoming pregnant, a state she seemed to have little
inclination towards. Hardly a fitting quality in a wife.
After that explanation, my father had little choice but to agree that Narcissa
might not be the best choice of bride, and so that crisis, at least, was
averted.
It was no comfort when I had to visit Regulus again, but at least I did not
have to explain why I was dating his cousin. Nor did I have to face her
accusing stare had I tried.
IV.3
When Regulus visited during the Yule holidays, it was not I who brought up the
possibility of him becoming a Death Eater, but he.
"Do you enjoy being a part of the group?" he asked, his voice soft as we
wandered the winter garden. It had not snowed, but I knew that it would come
soon. The air stung my face, and I could smell the snow on the air, familiar
and almost comforting. His question made me long for it to begin so that I
could have the excuse to return to the Manor in hopes of changing the subject.
"Why do you ask?" I did my best to keep my voice calm, something I was usually
quite good at, but which seemed to be escaping me more and more as our
relationship progressed.
"Mother keeps talking of how much pride she has in Bellatrix…"
I scowled. Though we had never directly spoken of his cousin, or her part in
the Dark Lord's ranks, I was certain he knew my feelings for her.
"I know. She's…" He made a face, but did not complete the thought. "But…surely
not all of you are as fanatical? After all, it is a good cause, is it not? To
protect our world from the Muggles?"
It was a cause I very much believed in, and one that I would have been thrilled
to have him ask to join when he had first come to visit us. But now, all I
could think was how much it would change him. "It is…a good cause," I finally
agreed. "But are you sure you are ready?" I winced internally at the words,
knowing he would react just as I might at the same.
"Of course I am. I'm old enough to make my own choices now." His chin rose as
he answered, then dropped as he glanced at the ground. "Besides…we'll be
together, then. Right?"
I took his hand and squeezed it. "I will be with you every step of the way,
Regulus. That I swear." But even as I spoke, my heart sank. Something in me
said that this would not end well.
V.1
For the next week, Draco and I avoided one another. I could not ever recall
being so angry with the boy before. After one disastrous meal with both of us
in attendance, I avoided the dining room and took my meals in my study instead.
Instead, I focused on the contract, trying to clear Narcissa's warnings from my
mind. I had no doubt that Draco would do what he wanted, and the Greengrasses
would never allow that. It only meant that things would escalate, rather than
improve. I knew that I could not allow that to happen. The problem was, the
contract was unbreakable from our end. We couldn't be freed from it. Not
without giving them our Manor. Which meant the one I had to try to negotiate
with was my son.
Eventually I sought him out that weekend, unsurprised to find him in the
library. He was pouring over the old family histories, and I couldn't help
wondering what he hoped to find there. Before I could make my presence known, I
felt someone approach from behind, and turned to see Potter walking towards me.
He looked ready to tell me off, but I lifted my chin and met his eyes. I had
every right to be here. This was still my home. "Potter. I thought you were
away today."
"Is that why you felt it necessary to spy on your son?" he asked. His tone was
mild, but I knew that look on his face. I'd seen that glower for the first time
when the boy had barely been twelve.
"I was not spying."
"Then what were you doing, father? Because I certainly didn't invite you here,"
my son's voice came from behind me.
I turned to look at him, and saw he had one of the journals he had been looking
at tucked to his chest, the spine covered by his sleeve so that I still could
not read it. "I came to speak with you."
"So you could spew more lies at me? So you could try to convince me that your
way was the only way?"
The accusations were hardly new, but still difficult to hear. "I came to try to
explain."
"I don't need an explanation from you. I know you'd never admit to the truth,
so spare me." He glanced at Harry, then back to me. "Obviously you don't want
to admit it. Not even to yourself."
Alarmed, words abandoned me for a moment as I stared at my son, Potter's
presence nearly forgotten for a moment. "And what does that mean?"
"It means that he knows that your lies have finally caught up with you, Malfoy.
I think you had better leave." He moved to my son's side and curled his arm
around him, glowering at me again.
Potter's words struck like a physical blow, but I did my best not to flinch,
though it was difficult to hide my pain when my son did nothing to contradict
his words. "This is my home, Potter. You are the unwelcome guest…"
"He is my guest, father. And far from unwelcome. I think he's right. I think
you should leave. I…know where to find you…if I ever change my mind."
I barely restrained a sigh, then met his eyes. If that was what he wished, so
be it. "Very well. But if you should have…questions…you are always welcome."
"So long as he agrees with you?" Potter asked, still scowling at me.
Draco shook his head. "It's all right, Harry," he said softly. He nodded once.
"Thank you, father." Then he turned toward Potter to hide himself in his arms.
I tried not to admit to myself how well they fit together. Taking Potter's
glare as a warning, I turned away and headed back to my study.
I stayed there the rest of the evening, lost in the past and pondering the
present as I stared into the fire. I did want Draco to be happy, but Potter?
Surely he could have chosen better? And yet… I shook off my own father's
reaction to Regulus, and how much he had hated what I had wanted. The contract
was the contract. Perhaps if he had chosen another boy…one from Slytherin, it
might have been easier to agree with him, but with Potter, I simply couldn't
accept it. No matter how much it might hurt my son.
When the time came, I didn't even consider going down for supper that night. I
knew I would be in no way welcome. Before I could call the elves to order my
supper, however, there was a knock at my door. Startled, I called out without
thinking, "Come in."
When Draco stepped into the room, the look on his face made me wish I had not.
Anger I was used to. Accusations and temper, I could handle. But the way he
looked—so lost, so much like the way he had looked when I had first returned
from Azkaban. Like the world had crashed down around his ears, and nothing
would ever be safe again. I had never wanted to instigate so much pain. Least
of all for my son. It caused my heart to twist in my chest.
"Draco?" I did not recognize my own voice, it was so choked. But I had heard it
that way once before. It felt as though the life would leave my body. And this
time, there would be no saviour in Narcissa. "What is it?"
He moved slowly to my desk, refusing to sit, and I saw him looking at me as
though he had never truly seen me before. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"
I sighed. The contract again. I knew it upset him, but I had had my reasons. "I
never meant to hurt you. I thought…we had time. I didn't think…"
Draco shook his head. "No. Not that…" He paused, and I could see him attempting
to piece his thoughts together before he spoke, meeting my eyes. When he spoke,
the words were enough to stop my heart beating. "Did you do it?" he asked
softly. "Did you kill him?
V.2
An Excerpt from the Private Journal of Lucius Malfoy
The ceremony for Regulus's marking was quite small. I believe our Lord intends
to keep Regulus a secret from all but his family—that is to say, his parents
and eldest cousin—in an attempt to gain access to Dumbledore's little group.
After all, everyone knows the elder Black brother's allegiance lies with him,
and if Regulus can convince him that he needs asylum, then perhaps we might
gain access to what they are planning next.
As such, there were only a small handful of us in attendance. Our Lord, myself,
Bellatrix (who abhorred my presence), her husband, and his brother.
Rodolphus seemed annoyed, and Rabastan completely bored, but Bella and I were
unable to tear our eyes from the scene. Part of her seemed put out that her
cousin was being treated so specially, and part seemed overly proud at the
prospect of having another member of her family in our group.
Though Regulus had made the choice to join himself, I still found myself
wondering if it were the right one for him. He was not like Bellatrix. Nor like
myself. He was still too young to be so certain that this path was right for
him. The young man I knew seemed too…gentle for this life. Too caring.
But no matter what, I would stand beside him and guide his steps. I would be
there for him when things grew difficult as I knew they would. He might despise
his brother's choices, but could he truly kill him if it came to an order from
our Lord?
After the Marking was finished, Bellatrix tried to convince Regulus to come
home with her for a private celebration, but he immediately turned to me
instead. I could see it was taking all his willpower not to simply fall into my
arms. Our Lord was heavily amused by the interaction, but I barely noticed
that. At the time, I only wanted to remove Regulus from their presence as
quickly as I could. I explained that I had promised to return him home myself,
and refused to face his mother's wrath if I did not.
Whether or not Bella accepted the explanation, it seemed to work, and soon I
had Regulus away from there. The moment we were alone, he sagged in my arms,
and I could feel him shiver.
I didn't take him home, but to the London flat father let me buy after I
received my Mark. I told the house elf to bring tea and cake, then settled in
front of the fire with him, pulling him into my lap and holding him there long
after his shivering stopped.
Being Marked always caused a visceral reaction in our Lord's followers. Never
the exact same reaction twice, though. For some, it was ecstasy. For others,
pain. And then there were the ones like Regulus, for whom the dark light of our
Lord seemed to focus on some horrible nightmare; the kind from which you never
wake.
I swore to myself that whatever it took, I would shelter him from it all.
V.3
Regulus came to me several months after his Marking, and whatever his reason
was, I knew it would not be good. We had been growing apart since he had
received it, a side effect of my own guilt at letting it happen, along with
Bellatrix's interference, and our Lord's own actions. He constantly had either
of us working on things we could not share with the other, and I knew our Lord
was watching him closely, so I feared it would put him in greater danger by
insisting we be allowed to work together.
So when he appeared in my flat, I wasn't sure what to say. At least not until
he fell into my arms, clinging to me and shaking the way he had that night.
"Lucius…I can't…I tried, but…I can't. I can't do this. I can't do what he
asks…" He looked up at me, and the pain in his eyes burned to my core, to the
soul I thought I did not have.
I led him to the drawing room, settling him into a chair and pouring him a
drink of firewhiskey before asking. "What is it he wants you to do, Regulus?"
It was dangerous to ask. It could mean my own life just uttering those words.
Especially if he had been sent to see if I would turn against our Lord. But
above all, Regulus was still mine. I had to try to help, if I could. Especially
now that he was asking for just that.
From his guarded expression, I knew he was thinking the same, and it tore at my
heart. "What do you know of…Horcruxes?" he finally whispered. If the tone of
his voice hadn't already sent a chill down my spine, the word would have done,
just the same.
"Why do you ask?"
Regulus watched my shifting expression for quite some time before answering.
"I…worry. For our Lord. He grows…increasingly…strange."
I had heard similar whispers from others of our fellows, and in fact felt much
the same. But I knew our Lord wouldn't take disobedience well. And desertion
would likely be dealt with far worse. I could not afford that. So I waited to
hear what more Regulus had to say, not willing or able to give my own thoughts
on the matter at the moment.
He waited for my response, and when I nodded, he apparently took that as
agreement. "I…you…recall his request for a house-elf to help him?"
I nodded again. I had avoided offering any of our elves for that task, but had
found myself given a different chore to deal with instead. One that had somehow
lead me to the same conclusion I suspected Regulus had reached. Our Lord had
made a Horcrux. Our Lord had entrusted me with a book only a few weeks before,
and while I had had my suspicions what it might be, I had merely tucked it away
for safekeeping. Something to use against him, if the need should arise. Or to
gain further favour, if such was needed.
Though if what Regulus was saying was to be believed, then there was more than
a single horcrux, for I knew right where the journal was, and that could not
possibly be the reason our Lord had needed a house-elf. Unless the house-elf's
soul had been used for the same… "I remember you offered one of yours?" I
prompted him.
"Yes," Regulus said softly. "When he came back—"
"He returned?" I asked, frowning.
"Yes. I…ordered him to." He paled. "You should have seen him, Lucius. He
was…raving. Half conscious. Nearly mad."
Perhaps it had only been Regulus's order that had saved the elf at all, then. I
couldn't imagine our Lord allowing such a loose end to escape his notice. For
surely our Lord would have been certain to destroy any creature who might be
able to give away the location of such an object? "And?"
Regulus looked down at his hands. "I…I think he may have been hiding a Horcrux,
Lucius…" He met my eyes. "If he is doing this…then this will never end, and…his
madness will only increase with time. I…" He swallowed. "I cannot follow a
madman."
They were words I dreaded to hear. For if he wished to go, I could not follow.
Not yet. Not when I was so close to having everything I could possibly want.
Even so, my heart constricted at knowing what I would have to do. What I would
lose.
I steeled myself, setting my mask in place, then met his eyes. "Tell me what
you need."
VI.1
"No." I met my son's eyes. "I did not kill him."
"But…he…you and he…were like Harry and I? Lovers? I'm…his?"
I wanted to deny it, both to protect him, and to deny Regulus could ever be
anything like Potter, but I nodded, gritting my teeth. "You are…his son, yes."
Draco pondered this for a long time, his gaze never leaving mine. "You told me
once that…he was weak. And that was why… But it was you, wasn't it? You had
something to do with his death. I know it. Or he would still be here, I'm sure
of it."
I didn't disagree with my son that it was my fault Regulus was gone, but I
couldn't let him see that. "What happened to him was…tragic. If I could have
saved him, I would have. He was a very important person to me, Draco. Surely
you can understand the intricacies of love?"
He flushed, then scowled at me. "You've never let your feelings interfere with
what you think needs to be done, father. If you didn't do it, you had someone
else make sure he died,. Why? Because he was in your way?"
Pained, I refused to look away from his gaze, despite the sorrow I knew must be
reflected in my eyes. "I did not kill him," I repeated. "Regulus wished to
leave. Wished to leave with me. I…refused." My voice softened despite myself as
I spoke. "It is something I regret to this day. But had I left with him,
Draco…neither you nor I would be here now." That was the ultimate truth of it.
I had not known at the time, so the fact did not save me, but the truth was, in
choosing, I had gained a son, even as I had lost a lover. And I could not
regret that. No matter how much my son might hate me for it.
"But you…you could have done…something. To stop him. To convince him he was
wrong. That he should stay." Draco's eyes grew more sad with each word. "So
that…I could know him too," he finished, his voice dropping to a thin whisper.
"I wish I had, Draco." What had followed had been true hell. As much as the
past two years with the Dark Lord had been. "I wish I had known the depth of my
feelings for him at the time. By the time I realized, he had been gone for
weeks. And…I had decisions to make."
Draco raised his chin. "About me, you mean."
I nodded. "Yes. Father would never have allowed you to survive as my heir
unless…" My throat closed tight, and I looked away from him finally, no longer
able to face the mistakes I had made with regards to my son's future even
before he had been born.
"How did you convince her?" he asked, his voice still quiet, but I could
already hear his anger growing once more in the soft tone.
The question confused me at first, given the path my thoughts had been going
down, and it took me a few moments to realize he meant Narcissa. I turned to
look at him once more. "You think I lied to her, Draco? That I used deception
to marry her, then forced her to pretend at pregnancy, knowing she would never
have a child of her own because I was not interested?"
"Don't tell me you fell madly in love with her and fell to your knees to beg
her to marry you," he said, his tone acid now. "I know very well there is no
love between you."
"While I may not be in love with your mother, that does not mean I have not
come to love her, Draco."
"Mother…" Draco seemed stunned that I had used the word. "But…she is not, is
she? I mean…not really."
"You care for her, and she loves you as any mother would, Draco. It makes her
your mother as much as if she had carried you herself. I would hardly deny
that."
Draco looked ashamed for all of a moment, then glowered at me. "If you care so
much for all of us, then why is it that you can't see that I'm happier with
Harry? Why are you forcing all this on me? Especially when you know that I have
already bonded with him, that the bond will make it difficult to even try to
live without him?"
I sighed, but realized that perhaps it was time. I might not like Potter, but I
truly did want to see Draco happy. "If he makes you happy…then I will…see what
I can manage so that we do not lose the manor."
"You will? Just like that? But…"
"You are my son, Draco. No matter my reasons for signing it, I should always
have tried to find a way to give you what you wanted."
"What will you do?" He asked, still looking stunned.
"Leave that to me. Go. Rest. And calm your mate before he comes in here
thinking I've done something horrible to you." I managed a smile, though I had
little doubt it was a thin one. Having Potter for a son in law was not
something I was looking forward to.
After a moment, he nodded and stood, but made no move to go.
I watched him for a moment, waiting for him to speak, but finally prodded him
when he did not. "Was there something else, Draco?"
He nodded reluctantly. "Thank you," he said, and I could see something in his
eyes that made me think that just maybe I had received his forgiveness.
"You are my son," I told him. "I love you."
He smiled then. "I love you, too, father."
Then he turned and left me alone with my thoughts and a problem. The problem of
how to get Greengrass and his brats to back off without losing Malfoy Manor.
VI.2
An Excerpt from the Private Journal of Lucius Malfoy
Regulus is gone.
I promised to help him. That I would give him all the information I knew, and I
did. All but one thing—how dangerous going against our Lord is. But I am
certain he knows this. My telling him would not have saved him.
Oh, Regulus, forgive me. I know, once you attempt this, there will be no chance
of survival. How I wish things could have gone another way.
I didn't let him leave easily, though. There was a price for the information I
gave him. If I am to never see him again, at least now I know him better than
any other. I know everything. Every line and mark and blemish on his body. He
gave it willingly. And I will never forget his cries as I entered him, nor the
feel of him inside me. Being with him was a rare feeling I know I will treasure
forever, if for no other reason than to never lose the sharpness of our time
together. But then, I could never forget the taste of his lips, the softness of
his skin, or how tears make his eyes impossibly warmer.
This is my punishment for what I have done, I am sure. To know. To know
everything, but never to have him again. To know that I sent him to his death,
knowing that if I had stopped him that he could still be here in my arms.
It is unfair that the first person I could truly feel close to has been taken
away from me by our Lord's plotting. If I could have found a way out for us I
might have gone with him, but I know our Lord would never allow us to escape
his grasp now that he has us. Of all the pureblood families the Blacks and
Malfoys are his greatest prize. Even should one of us escape, he would never
allow us both our freedom. He would have chased us to the ends of the world and
destroyed us for abandoning him.
So Regulus is gone. Perhaps not quite to his death, but if not yet, then soon.
I only hope that I am not called to witness that death. For to do so might
break me. If my Lord should ask his death of me, not one, but two will die that
night. One in body, and one in spirit.
VI.3
Regulus was missing for a month before I realized. Almost too late to keep my
father from learning what had happened, I turned to the only person I thought I
could trust. The only person I knew Regulus had trusted with our
relationship—Narcissa Black.
At first she refused to see me, but the magic of Regulus' name did wonders.
Her eyes were stormy when she finally entered the study she'd had an elf guide
me to. "Here to gloat about killing him now, are you?" she asked me. I could
have caught a chill from the ice in her glare.
"I would never have…"
"Don't lie to me!" Her voice was shrill, and my stomach roiled at the truth of
her statement. Perhaps I had not killed Regulus myself, but I had sent him to
his death, and knowingly so.
"If I could have saved him, I would have, Narcissa. You must believe me."
"Like I would believe a word out of your deceitful mouth! He trusted you! He
believed in you…" And then she turned away, and I saw her shoulders shake.
"You were right," I told her. "He shouldn't have. If I could go back and change
things so that he was still here, I would. But I can't. And…for his sake…I need
your help, Narcissa. Please." I never used the word, and everyone knew it.
She turned to me, and I could see her eyes were red. "How dare you use him to
get my sympathy. How dare you?"
"It's not for me, Narcissa, but for his son, that I ask."
"Regulus never married, Lucius. A fact of which you are well aware. Never mind
that he was too young." She sniffled and looked away. "Go spew your lies
somewhere else."
Despite everything, I felt my face heat. I blamed it on the increase of
hormones that were currently flooding my system. "I assure you, Narcissa, he
was not too young for the act required to make a child."
Whirling around, she glowered at me. "And how is sleeping with you going to get
him a child?"
I felt the heat in my face rise more, but did my best to ignore it. "By getting
me pregnant." Before she could deny that even as a possibility, I shook my
head. "I hadn't thought it possible either, though I had known…" I sighed,
hating to reveal this to her when it was such a closely guarded secret. "My
mother's line has Veela blood. But I was under the impression that it could not
happen without Mating." I closed my eyes, trying to avoid the thought of what
that meant, gathering myself for a moment before looking to see her reaction.
Watching her stunned reaction, I could see the moment when surprise became
calculation. "Veela…?"
I nodded, but added nothing more. She knew me well enough to understand how
vulnerable such information made me to her.
Her eyes dropped to my stomach, then rose once more. "How long?"
"No more than a month," I said. Of course, I knew to the day, but that was best
kept to myself. Narcissa hardly needed to know the day her cousin died.
Despite her restraint, her eyes grew sad, knowing what I had not said. When our
eyes met, hers were cold again. "And what would you have me do, Lucius? How can
I help my cousin's murderer?"
I allowed her the barb. I knew I deserved far worse. "He needs a mother. If he
is to survive, to carry part of Regulus with him…I need a wife."
If I had slapped her, I am sure she would look no less horrified or astonished.
"Wife?" She said the word as though it were the worst epithet I might have
thrown at her, but I did my best to remain collected. I had known, in coming
here, that this would not be simple.
"Please, Narcissa. I…I can't lose what little I have left of him. If father
learns…" He would never let me keep the child. Not unless I had a way to keep
others from knowing. And without a wife, that would be impossible.
Her nostrils flared, and she looked away. I could see her weigh my fate against
that of my unborn child's, but I did not know her well enough to predict where
her loyalty would fall. "And if I agree, Lucius? How often will I hear of you
with…others? How often will you pretend others are him, that he is not gone,
and you are leading your happy life as before?"
I am not sure if she was quite aware of how much I would do, but I suspected
she knew it was more than I would do for anyone else. "Name your terms," I told
her. "And I will agree to them."
It would not be the life I had dreamed of, but it would keep my son safe.
VII.1
In the end, it all came down to choosing my son over the path my father had
forced on us both when he had learned I was pregnant with Draco. I knew there
could be no other choice than to stand by my son now. How could I have
forgotten how much I had hated signing the contract in the first place? I may
have my father's ruthlessness, but my son's happiness matters more than mine.
It always has from the beginning.
I knew that contract better than my own marriage contract. I had spent so much
time on it in order to give myself room to protect my son and my own interests
later when the time came for the contract to be fulfilled. But I also had to
find ways to keep my father and Greengrass unaware of the loopholes and escape
clauses I had created at the time. It had been a tricky business, but I had not
wanted to gamble with my son's future, no matter how I had been forced into
agreeing to my father's terms. I was foolish to have ignored them now, simply
because I had not approved of Draco's choice.
I owled Greengrass a few days after speaking with Draco and asked him to come
to a private meeting between the three of us. The fool brought his eldest I
knew he might—Daphne has always been a strong-willed girl—and I found that I
did not mind. Let her understand—she and her sister would never have a place in
this family, however much they might want it.
Draco wasn't happy to see her there, nor was she pleased to see Potter, who had
insisted upon joining us as well. It had increased my approval of him as my
son's mate a great deal in the last few days to see how carefully he protected
my son, even if that protection had largely come in the form of keeping him
from me, or glowering at me when we were all in the same room together.
"What is he doing here?" she asked, glaring at her rival, then shot a look at
Draco as well. "I had thought that this would be an apology… But I see little
has changed."
Greengrass seemed as annoyed as his daughter. "Perhaps you forget the contract
we signed, Malfoy?" he asked, his voice acid.
"Not at all." I was pleased to see that my light tone made his expression
darken further.
He stood, and held out his hand to his daughter, who followed him, glaring at
the two boys. "Then I see we have nothing to discuss. I assume you and your
family will be out by the end of the summer, Malfoy. Consider the extra time a
wedding present for your son and his…" He glanced at Potter, then my son, then
back to me. "…Mate."
"And why would we leave, Greengrass? This is our home." It was hard to keep the
slightly confused expression on my face and not let it melt into a smirk,
knowing he was falling directly into the trap I had set for him.
"The terms of the contract clearly state…"
"That should my heir refuse to marry one of your daughters, the Manor is yours.
Those terms have not been broken."
"Whether it is you or he refusing matters little, Malfoy," Greengrass said, his
eyes narrowed now. "Either way, your Manor is forfeit."
"Who said I was refusing, Greengrass? I merely meant that my son no longer
fills the terms of the contract, because he is no longer my heir." I smirked at
his shock, trying to ignore the gasp from my son, not wanting to show any
vulnerability here in front of Greengrass and his daughter.
I could see Greengrass trying to make sense of my words and the maze I had laid
out for him. Little did he know that the only winning move was to retreat. But
then, I knew the man well enough now to know that he would never consider that.
After a moment, he met my eyes. "That changes nothing, Malfoy. Without an heir
to marry to my daughter, your Manor is still forfeit according to our
contract."
"Correct. If I had no heir. But you see, I do have an heir. He is…not here yet,
but he will be. In about eight months. So…if either of your daughters is
willing to wait eighteen years…do let us know?"
The look on Greengrass's face was a particular treat to see. I might have
laughed, had the situation not been so serious.
"And what does that mean, Malfoy? You actually managed to get that ice queen of
a wife to open her legs again?"
I could hear the scuffle of the boys beside me as Potter restrained Draco, but
kept my focus on Greengrass. "No. Narcissa and I will have a grandson. The one
my son is carrying."
Greengrass looked disgusted. "Your…son? Malfoy, that is impossible. Only those
of…" Suddenly he glanced at Potter, then met my gaze, and his eyes narrowed.
"Non-pureblood parentage would even have the chance, I believe you were going
to say? Let's just say that the Malfoy family has a few secrets. Secrets which
you are bound to keep as a small fraction of your part of our contract, as you
will recall…" That had been one clause father and I had both agreed on. Should
the Greengrass family learn our secret, it had to be kept at all costs.
He glanced at Draco then at Potter once more, then back to me. "Potter is
powerful, but I never knew…"
"Not Potter, Greengrass. My son. He and I share Veela blood. And I assure you,
if I hear of anyone speaking or even whispering such outside this home, your
manor will be the one forfeit."
Greengrass's face grew redder and redder, but before he could begin a tirade
against us, his daughter restrained him. "They aren't worth it, father." She
glowered at Draco. "Never were." She met my eyes. "Very well. You've won. We
won't push our end of the contract, and you won't hear a thing about your
secrets. But don't think we won't remember, Malfoy. This isn't over."
She turned to her father. "We're leaving. There are certainly better families
to join, father. Ones that won't drag us down near as much." She glanced once
more at my son and his mate. "Enjoy it while it lasts, Potter. You may think
you have him now, but Draco is fickle. He was never interested in anyone for
long while we were at school. Don't think you're going to be special in this
regard, child or not."
Before Potter could answer, she and her father swept from the room, and finally
I turned to look at my son and his…and Potter. "They likely will try to find
ways to undermine you," I warned them.
"We'll manage," Potter said.
Draco nodded, and I saw him squeeze Potter's hand. "After the baby is born, we
should tell everyone. Have an interview with a reporter we know we can trust.
So we can control the story, and the details. Before they try to find a way to
use it against us."
Though I could understand the reasoning, it was difficult to agree. For so
long, it had been my most close-guarded secret. Even our Lord had never
suspected. "Are you certain you are willing to live with the likely outcome?" I
asked, biting back the refusal building in my chest.
"What other choice do we have, father? Live in fear for another generation, and
hope the Greengrass family doesn't decide that taking us down is more important
than keeping their home? Besides…we have Harry. No one is going to turn on him.
Not after everything that has happened. They need him too much."
I supposed that would be one good side-effect of having Potter for a son-in-
law, and nodded. "Very well. If that is your choice, I will stand by it." I
smiled at my son's surprise.
"That's all? You're not going to try to convince me to find another way?"
"Would it do any good to try?" I asked, smiling ruefully as I remembered the
past weeks of warfare between us.
"No, but…"
"You are my son, Draco. All I have ever wanted for you was for you to be happy.
I…forgot that for a time. But now…"
Draco sobered. "Now I'm no longer your heir, so it doesn't matter…?"
The words were almost a physical blow. "Of course not, Draco. You will always
be my son. You may not be my direct heir any longer, but this is still your
home. I've prepared your grandmother's suite. I thought that would be
appropriate?" Given that he and I had both inherited her Veela blood, the move
only made sense.
"Grandmother's…" Draco was stunned, and I couldn't help but smile. It was a
suite of rooms I knew he had always been fond of.
Potter was frowning, though. "He's kicking you out of your room?"
Draco grinned at him. "Into a suite of rooms that are…well, you'll have to see
for yourself, but…Trust me, this is not a bad thing." He kissed Potter's cheek,
and I glanced away. I might be growing accustomed to Potter being here, but I
still wasn't entirely pleased at my son's choice of mate. Certainly not enough
to see them so cozy together. I glanced back when Draco began making plans with
him.
"I have arranged for your own vault, as well, Draco." I held out a key. "Your
portion of the estate will be doled out in monthly payments from the main
vault. But if there is anything you need…"
Draco took the key, smiling and nodding. "Of course, father. And the nursery?"
"You are welcome to do as you wish. The heirlooms I used for you are in the
current nursery. You may use that room, or another in your wing, and there is a
selection of furnishings upstairs if you wish. Or you may purchase all new
furniture, if you prefer. So long as my grandson is comfortable."
Potter still looked confused. "But if he's no longer your heir…"
"Harry, he just did that so that I no longer met the terms of the contract.
This way…I'm free. And they have no claim on me or our estate. It doesn't mean
he has disowned me…"
I bit my tongue to keep from showing my contempt at Potter's presumption. Deep
down, I knew he was only trying to protect my son.
He looked at me, and our eyes met. ""Is that what you meant, sir?" he asked.
"Of course. Draco is the best thing I have done with my life. I would hardly
abandon him to the mercies of the world simply because he chose the wrong
mate…"
I could see the barb hit its mark, then Potter nodded. "I'm glad. I'd hate him
to lose his family because we love each other," he said. Any other time, his
collected attitude might have annoyed me, but now, it was a good sign. Maybe
someday, we might even come to accept one another.
"I assure you, that will never happen, Potter."
"Harry. We're going to be family, after all." His arm curled protectively
around Draco.
"Harry," I agreed. I could see he was waiting for more, but I wasn't about to
give him permission to refer to me so informally. Not yet, at least.
VII.2
An Excerpt from the Private Journal of Lucius Malfoy
Father has agreed to the match between myself and Narcissa Black. Apparently
the standing of her family is enough to help him forget my attachment to
Regulus. If only it were as easy for me to do so.
He will learn soon enough. Already I feel the changes in my body, and it will
not be long before they will be visual.
At least he has been willing to arrange the marriage quickly without
explanation. But perhaps he knows after all. If he does, he seems to be willing
to allow me to keep my son, now that I have arranged camouflage.
Narcissa seems to have come to terms with the life we will have to live. Every
day, I receive new owls from her with new conditions. I think she still does
not quite understand that I will allow her anything to protect my son.
Mother is thrilled, of course, and seems completely unaware of the
undercurrents of all these owls and plans, though she is not pleased at the
rush. She will understand soon enough.
Narcissa and I have not yet started the echo and mirror spells, but we will
have to do so soon enough. Every day, I wait for the proof of my feelings for
Regulus to materialize. I had been so blind. Regulus's pain was likely over
quickly. Mine will go on for the rest of my life. Every time I see my son. Our
son.
I keep waiting for father to confront me, but I will not let him hurt my son. I
will do everything I can to give him the life Regulus never got. Long and with
a proper love. One who will always be there for him, the way I could not be for
Regulus.
I only hope he never comes to hate me for it all when he learns what I have
done.
VII.3
The last year had been a whirlwind. I looked down at the infant sleeping
nestled in my arms. I'd seen enough pictures of Regulus at the same age to see
the resemblance. I only hoped that Narcissa's family would assume it was just a
familial resemblance. Dealing with father's knowledge of who my son's true
second parent was had been bad enough. I hardly wanted to deal with Dame Black
trying to take my son from me.
The mage waved his hand over the boy's brow. "And have you chosen a name for
him?"
I nodded. There had been a quite heated debate between myself and my father
when he'd learned I wanted to name him for my lost lover, and in the end, he
and Narcissa had won. He looked enough like Regulus that I comforted myself
with that instead. "Draco Lucius Malfoy," I told him.
The man grimaced, but only for a moment. I allowed him the illusion that I had
done it out of pride and ego. Better that than for people to realize the names
had been forced upon me.
"Then by Merlin and Morgana, the Lord and the Lady, I formally name this boy
Draco Lucius Malfoy." He sprinkled something from a vial over the boy's head,
and my son made a face, waving his fists in protest as he screwed up his face
to let out a howl. I bounced him slightly through the end of the ceremony, then
handed him to Narcissa, though I hated to do so. It would look odd for me to be
the one to comfort him, after all. Father would never approve. Especially in
front of all of our friends and family.
She shushed Draco, settling him on her shoulder as the Mage presented us as a
family to the crowd. I offered her my arm, and we made our way through the
chapel, leading the way back up to the main house where the elves had set out a
large luncheon for our guests.
It would be a long afternoon, with everyone cooing over my son, asking about
our marriage, having a new baby, not to mention my father's glares following me
everywhere. I would endure it, but already I wished it was over.
To top it all off, Walburga had come as well. Alone. Her husband had died soon
after Regulus had disappeared. Everyone said it was a heart attack, but I
wondered if our Lord had some suspicions as to why Regulus had disappeared. At
least he hadn't felt the need to ask me. It was the one bright spot in my year,
not being interrogated by the Dark Lord.
But that didn't make it easier to see Walburga anywhere near my son. If she
caught so much as a hint that my son was Regulus'…the very thought made me
shudder. I knew Regulus had loved his mother, but that had not left him blind
to her harsher qualities. We'd talked for hours about how difficult she could
be to live with, to deal with every day. I would never allow her to treat my
son the way she had hers. Even if it meant Draco would never know his other
grandmother.
I watched as the Black family crowded around Narcissa the moment they entered,
grinding my teeth. A large part of me wanted to snatch my son away and hide him
from all of them. But most especially Walburga and Bellatrix, who was already
looking at him with calculation. If she so much as whispered about my son
joining the Dark Lord, I would find a way to make her pay for it.
Draco would live a life free of our Lord. Whatever it took. I would see to
that.
Epilogue
"A girl…?"
Draco's smirk made me want to roll my eyes as I looked down at the newborn. It
was incredibly uncommon for two men to have a child at all. For them to have a
girl was almost unheard of.
"But…the odds…"
"Aren't as bad as you think, father." Draco adjusted himself on the bed, still
looking tired even after a day's rest. He shifted his daughter into his lap,
where she lay swaddled and sleeping, and looked up at me. "Well?" I knew he was
worried how I would react, but all I could think was that here was another
thing Potter had somehow managed to ruin for our family.
"She is…tiny." The last infant I had seen had been Draco. And that was nearly
twenty years ago now.
Draco chuckled. "And thank god for small favours. I assure you, she didn't feel
so tiny for about the last two months, father. Perhaps you've forgotten
how…painful pregnancy can get?"
I heard Potter snort behind me. "As though we couldn't tell from all your
complaining…"
I glanced at the young man, who was gazing down at my son with such feeling in
his eyes… I still wasn't comfortable with my son being so attached to him, but
I had seen his love for Draco so many times in the past year that I could no
longer deny it existed. Even if I still couldn't think of him as 'Harry.'
"So…what will you name her?" I asked, trying to deflect their conversation
before they started kissing again.
"Well, we were talking flower names. Because of mother, and Harry's mother… But
neither of us can agree on one we like."
I hummed noncommittally. Obviously they couldn't name her Regulus. "I'm sure
you will come up with something soon enough. You have time." I smoothed a hand
over her fine hair, wondering if it would stay this light, or darken like
Potter's, and whether her eyes would be grey or green when they finished
changing.
"Yes, I'm sure we will," Draco said, watching him with a soft smile. "Unless
you had any suggestions?"
I shook my head. I'd managed the argument once, and badly. I'd save my opinions
for when they had a son. "None," I said. "I'm sure what you come up with will
be fine."
I moved to the door. Time to give the new family some time together. "Let me
know what you decide, so that I can add her formally to the family documents,"
I told Draco. "And we will need to arrange the Christening as well. You might
want to give thought to a godparent or two."
Potter blinked up at me, shocked at the idea, then looked down at Draco, and I
couldn't deny myself a bit of a smirk at the thought of the negotiation that
was likely to follow my departure. "Don't keep my son up too long, Potter. He
still needs his sleep." I opened the door, then turned back. "Oh, and I
wouldn't mind one or two more of these, Draco…after all, the family still needs
an heir. He squeaked at the thought, eyes wide, but didn't manage anything
beyond that before I closed the door and headed down the hall.
Life might not be perfect, but Regulus and I would continue. Our love, our
family—our blood. It was more than I had hoped when I had sent him off over
twenty years before. And someday, when I faced him again, I would have a world
of stories to tell him about our family.
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