Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/610041.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Generator_Rex
  Relationship:
      Six/Rex, Agent_Six/Rex_Salazar, Agent_Six/One, Agent_Six/Dos, Agent_Six/
      IV, Agent_Six/White_Knight
  Character:
      Agent_Six_(Generator_Rex), One_(Generator_Rex), Dos_(Generator_Rex), IV_
      (Generator_Rex), Five_(Generator_Rex), White_Knight_(Generator_Rex), Rex
      Salazar
  Additional Tags:
      Angst, Drama, Unrequited_Love, Sexual_Violence, Masturbation, One-Sided
      Relationship, Oral_Sex, Anal_Sex, Rimming, Coming_of_Age, Loss_of
      Virginity, Backstory
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-12-26 Chapters: 5/5 Words: 17011
****** Loveless ******
by LadyDorian
Summary
     A companion piece to "Aishiteru." Six recalls past relationships that
     molded him into the man he is today.
Notes
     Here is part one of five of my companion piece to "Aishiteru." I
     encountered some questions from readers about Six's past, so I
     decided to write this. It doesn't need to be read with the first
     story, but if you want to get the full effect, it's best to read
     "Aishiteru" before this. That being said, I hope you enjoy it.
     As always, thanks to my awesome beta readers for this project, Elle
     and Gerry.
     -LD
***** One *****
                                     One.
 
I couldn't stand living at the orphanage. Technically, they called it a “group
home,” but I knew it as Purgatory. Day after day, I watched tired husks of
children shuffle through the halls, waiting for the hour of their liberation.
The only time they stopped sulking was whenever their prospective parents came
around. Then, they'd put on their best clothes and saddest expressions and pray
their charms had some effect. The adults were no better; they examined each
child like they were choice cuts of meat. It was unbearable to watch. I missed
my parents deeply, and was not about to whore myself out to hungry strangers. I
was far too proud for that.
I ran away every chance I could get. Sometimes they brought me back with kind
words, other times with stern warnings. They sent me to counseling, tried to
indoctrinate me with religious teachings. They assumed their words would break
me, but I was set in my ways. After a while, they stopped chasing me. I was
unsure if I had skillfully eluded them, or if they had given up on me
altogether. Only one thing was certain: At the young age of eleven, I was free
to the world.
Living on the streets, the days all seemed to blend together. They were always
cold and overcast, and the night fell far too early. After two weeks I lost
track of time completely. How long had I been out there? Two months? Three?
Six? It didn’t matter much to me. The only thing on my mind was finding
adequate food and shelter to make it until morning. I begged, I stole, I slept
in abandoned subway tunnels and crackhouses; I lived my life one day at a time,
never looking too far into the future. In my opinion, there wasn't much to look
forward to, anyway.
 
The morning I met him was like any other day. I had just perused the dumpster
behind Golden Sun Chinese restaurant, and at the moment was sitting in the
alley enjoying some cold rice and half-eaten egg rolls. In the distance, I
could hear one of the regular streetwalkers playing a lonely melody on the sax.
I made a note to myself to swipe some of his earnings as I passed later on.
Maybe then I could at least score a hot meal.
As I ate, I watched the shoes of the pedestrians as they hurried past. I was
intrigued by the variety of styles and colors that I saw. They were always
different, like the stripes on the stray cats I would sometimes play with. And
they were always rushing from one destination to the next. Which is why I was
rather surprised when a pair of shiny brown loafers stopped in front of me.
“What’s a young man like you doing all alone out here?”
I glanced up at the voice. The man appeared to be in his 40s, with short gray
hair and a neatly-trimmed beard. Pale blue eyes were set deep in a wrinkled,
smiling face. He wore a crisp, tan suit with a matching Fedora, and in his
right hand he carried a cane adorned with a carved dragon’s head. It looked far
too ornate for walking. I wondered how much a pawn shop would pay for it.
I found my eyes glued to him. People usually only stopped long enough to toss a
few dollars or some spare change. But this man seemed to want a conversation. I
quickly turned my head away, figuring my silence would drive him off, but
instead he stepped into the alley and crouched down directly in front of me.
“Do you have any parents?” he asked.
Quietly, I shook my head.
“What about any other family?”
After the car accident that had claimed my parents’ lives, I was told that no
family members or guardians could be found with whom they could place me. In my
heart I knew they just couldn’t find anyone who wanted me. I stifled a sob and
pulled my dingy green hoodie closer around me. I didn’t feel much like talking
at the moment.
The old man pressed on. “Do you have anywhere to go?”
“No,” I seethed. “What’s it matter to you, anyway? You a social worker or
something?” Already, I could feel hot tears stinging my cheeks. I hated this
man for making me cry.
“No, no, I’m just a concerned old man, nothing more.” He leaned back against
the wall and cautiously lowered himself into a sitting position. “Come to think
of it, I’ve seen you around here before, haven’t I? Though usually you’re
running from the police. You’re a rather fast one, really. I’m surprised you’re
still sitting here with me.”
Yeah, so am I,I thought. I could have easily lost this guy, but I didn’t. For
some reason I was frozen in place. It had been so long since I talked to
another person, maybe I just wanted some company, even from a strange old man
like him.
“Are you hungry at all?”
I was starving, but at the time all I could think of was how dirty this man’s
pristine suit was going to become. I watched as he reached inside his jacket
and produced a small, wrapped candy. He held it out to me. “Sorry, but this is
all I have right now.” I fixed him with a curious stare. “It’s ok,” he
persisted, “I won’t bite.”
His hand was warm; I let my fingers linger there as I reached for his offering.
He smiled kindly as he watched me unwrap the candy and pop it into my mouth. It
tasted funny, but I tried not to make a face. I wiped my eyes with the sleeve
of my hoodie, muttering a weak “Thanks.”
I expected him to leave then, his good deed having been done, but he took a
deep breath and continued on. “I know this may sound strange, but if you need
somewhere to stay, I have a place.”
I raised my eyebrow at him. Surely this man must be nuts.
“You won’t be alone, of course. There are other children.”
“Oh, like an orphanage? There’s no way in hell I’m ever going back to one of
those.” I sucked on my candy and shot him a suspicious glare.
The man tried to calm my apprehension. “It’s not an orphanage, per se, it’s
more like a boarding school of sorts, only you’ll be free to come and go as you
please. There’s food and hot water, warm beds. There are other children there,
just like you. The world may have thrown you away, but I can give you a second
chance at life—a chance to fulfill your hidden potential.” He gave my shoulder
a comforting squeeze. “Please, it would mean the world to me if you would just
stay one night.”
I’m still not sure why I decided to go with him. Maybe it was because the air
was so cold and his voice so warm and embracing. Maybe I realized I didn’t have
anything to lose, living out there with the drunks and crackheads. Not like I
actually believed all that crap about having potential. He could’ve done
anything he wanted to me and it still would have been better than my current
situation. I just didn’t care.
I solemnly nodded, and the old man carefully rose to his feet. He stretched out
a welcoming hand, which I gladly grasped. And together we strode off.
As I gazed back at the dank, narrow alley I had once called home, I had no idea
just how much my life was about to change.
It began the moment I took his hand.
 
He told me his name was One, and that he was the master of a large dojo in the
mountains. I thought “One” was a funny name for a person, but I didn’t question
him. I simply sat and looked out the car window as One talked about martial
arts and training regiments and whatnot. He asked me questions every so often
(mostly “Are you doing well?” or “Why don’t you tell me some of the things you
like?”), but avoided touching on any painful topics. I wasn’t in the mood for
talking, and answered mostly with single words and silent nods. One never
seemed to let my moodiness bother him, though. He just smiled and kept on
driving.
When we reached the sprawling, Japanese-style mansion, we were greeted by
several small children and teenagers, all of whom seemed very excited to see
One. I hid behind the car as he tried to introduce me, though I caught a look
of curiosity on some of the kids’ faces. One ushered me inside, past the crowd
of on-lookers, promising them that proper introductions would be made during
supper.
We walked through the garden and into the house, where he led me to my room. It
was plain yet elegant, with a tatami mat floor and a single futon in the
center. Light from the setting sun drifted in through the open window, turning
the space a bright orange. I gazed up at One. “This whole room is mine?” Back
at the orphanage, I had shared my quarters with three other people.
He nodded. “Why don’t you wash up before we eat? I’ll get you a change of
clothes. What’s your favorite color?”
“Green.”
“Well then, I’ll see if I can find something green for you to wear.” One turned
to leave, beckoning me to follow. “Come, I’ll show you where the bathroom is.”
At dinner I was given a warm welcome. One explained to me that most of the kids
there were either orphans or were cast out by their families. For unwanted
children, they all looked quite content to me. They were smiling and chatting
with each other like they didn’t have a care in the world. I was jealous of
what they had; I’d spent so much time living on the street when I could’ve had
happiness like this. When I looked at them seated around the table, I saw a
group of people that were deserving of the word “family.”
I leaned in and whispered to One, “Excuse me, s-sir…but do you think I could
maybe stay here? For a while, I mean?”
I found my answer in his smile.
 
Life at the dojo was challenging, to say the least. From the start, One had
told me that I would be training to become a member of the Kurohana, a band of
highly-skilled mercenaries, of which he was the leader.
“From this moment on, you are bound to the Clan of the Black Flower. This is
your home, your family. You will live and die for them. Your training will be
difficult, but rewarding. You will want to give up many times, but you must
keep at it. If you choose to leave, then you can never return to this place.”
He placed both hands on my shoulder and gave a light squeeze. “I have faith in
you, child.”
One was right. Each day I was up at dawn for morning calisthenics and mixed
martial arts training. In addition to physical activity, we were schooled in
academics and Buddhist philosophy. We meditated several times a day. After
lessons, we engaged in swordplay and gymnastics. By the time night fell, I was
thoroughly exhausted.
One taught us everything personally. On the rare occasions when he was off on a
mission, we were left in the care of a heavily-accented man named Dos. Those
were the days I suffered most. One was strict but never cruel; he was tough but
never violent. Dos was just a slave driver. He pushed me to my limits, and I
remember constantly stumbling and struggling, wishing for a moment of rest but
receiving no assistance. Still, I pushed aside my negative thoughts and
attacked my training head-on. Because I wanted to stay here with my family.
Most importantly, because I wanted to make One proud.
The constant need to impress One propelled me through my first few years there.
When times were hard, I thought of the man who had saved me from a bleak,
lonely existence that cold day in the city. I thought of all I owed him, and
all the gratitude I had yet to show. I promised myself that someday I would pay
him back.
Whenever I thought of these things, I couldn’t help but smile. The past didn’t
matter to me anymore; there was only my future here, with One.
 
By the time I reached puberty, I began to realize that I wasn't like most of
the boys at the dojo. While they spent their time preoccupied with the opposite
sex, I focused solely on my studies. I was at the top of my class in Kendo, and
I had already devoured almost every book in the library. In my eyes, I was well
on my way to becoming One's favorite. I had no time for silly distractions.
But all my determination couldn't stop the urges of youth. I soon discovered
that I would become hard at the most inopportune times: during math lessons,
after a particularly tiresome training session, or even while trying to
meditate. I knew for certain that it wasn't the girls in class that caused me
to be like this. Once, a pink-haired girl named Frances had caught me by
surprise in the courtyard, pushing me back against the wall and roughly
pressing her lips to mine. When that happened, I felt nothing, not even a
twinge of excitement (much to the girl's annoyance). It seemed the only passion
I felt was in pleasing One.
One must have sensed the constant fluctuation of hormones amongst the older
kids, because soon after my “urges” began, Dos started giving the teens sex-ed
lessons. We were given condoms and taught about safe sex and the various
changes going through our own bodies. Dos said that we were free to date
whoever we pleased, but added the stern warning: “Don't ever let personal
relationships interfere with your work.” We knew the truth behind his words. In
this line of work, the slightest distraction could be the difference between
life and death. Besides, we had always been taught to project an air of calm
collectedness at all times, taking great care to keep our emotions in check.
But that wasn't the most important thing I learned from Dos' class. The best
lesson that sex-ed taught me was how to masturbate. I can't remember how often
I spent beneath the covers of my futon, pinching my nipples and tugging on my
cock until my toes curled and my semen spilled onto the sheets. At first I
would just close my eyes and lose myself in the pleasure I felt, but as time
progressed, my thoughts took a bizarre turn.
I remembered when it first happened. It was early morning, and I was jerking
off as usual before the dawn alarm rang. My hand stroked my slick cock slowly,
enjoying myself thoroughly. As I felt my climax approaching, I let out a low
moan and closed my eyes. And at that moment, I pictured something I never had
before. In my mind, I saw One. I pictured his smiling face, his kind eyes. I
remembered how warm my hand had felt in his. At that moment, I exploded in a
fit of passion, the likes of which I had never felt until then. I opened my
eyes, gasping for breath. In the distance, the morning bell began ringing.
 
Whenever I touched myself after that, I thought of One. What would his hands
feel like on my skin? How would his lips feel against mine? I knew nothing of
sex, but I knew I wanted One to teach me. I wanted to be close to him. I wanted
him to embrace me, to kiss me like I was his one and only. I should've felt
ashamed for thinking of my mentor in such a perverse manner, but I kept telling
myself this was more than just the immature physical attraction the other
students often felt. This was deeper. For years I had admired One from a
distance—had idolized him almost—and now I wanted more. After all, hadn't
everything I'd done since I came here been for him? He was all I ever thought
about; he was the first man I ever truly loved.
But what could I have done? I was an inexperienced fourteen-year-old chasing
after a middle-aged man. How could I tell him? How could I expect him to take
me seriously? I held all these thoughts inside me until I felt I would burst.
And when I couldn’t take it anymore, I gathered up the courage I had and went
to see One.
I caught him while he was meditating in his room one night. He had lit several
candles, and the flames were causing eerie shadows to flicker across the walls.
At first I was afraid he would view my sudden intrusion as disrespectful, but
when he noticed me standing silently in the doorway, he simply smiled and
beckoned me to enter. I shut the door behind me before turning to him and
bowing. “Sensei, could I speak with you?”
“Of course. Please, come sit by me and tell me what’s on your mind.” His voice
was gentle and caring. It enveloped me like a warm blanket.
I slowly approached, kneeling before him. My heart was pounding in my ears; I
bowed my head slightly and tried to gather my thoughts. One was waiting
patiently for me to speak. “Sensei, are you…Do I make you proud?”
One chuckled kindly. “Of course you do. You’re one of my best pupils. Why would
I not be proud of you?”
When I glanced up, I was greeted by his smiling face. It gave me the courage to
push on. “I just…don’t want you to regret bringing me here.”
“You’ve no need to worry over such things, Dwight. I brought you here because I
saw potential in you. You haven’t once let me down.”
His eyes glimmered in the candlelight. I felt tears of joy welling up inside
me, but I forced them back down. I wanted to show One that I was mature enough
to keep control of my emotions. “Thank you, Sensei.”
“Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?” he asked.
Now was my opportunity to move forward. I hesitated before asking, “Do you
think I could stay with you for a while?”
He nodded. “If it will make you feel better, you can stay here until bedtime.”
My heart leapt at his words. I sprang to my feet and moved beside him,
resituating myself into a meditating positing. I sat there quietly for a few
minutes, listening to the sound of One’s breathing and the crackling of the
flames around us. As close as we were, it wasn’t enough for me. Very slowly, I
began to move, stretching out my legs and sinking down until my head was
resting comfortably in One’s lap. I was nervous as hell, fearing he would be
disgusted by my touch. But he didn’t shy away or ask me to move. Instead, he
placed a hand on my head and calmly stroked my hair.
The cotton of his robes was soft against my cheek. When his fingers touched me,
small waves of electricity began to flow through my body. Lying there so close
to him, I felt at peace. I felt happy.
I was silent for some time, simply content being in his presence. When I next
spoke, it was to ask a question that had been on my mind since the day we’d
met. “Sensei, why do they call you ‘One’?”
His hand came to a rest beside my ear. “Some consider me to be the most
dangerous man in the world.”
I turned my head to look up at him. “But, Sensei, why would they think that?”
Though he was an expert in martial arts (and had even kicked my ass in training
on several occasions), I thought One too kind to be such a threat
He smiled. “That’s because I would do anything to protect the ones that I love.
There is nothing I wouldn’t destroy, nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice to ensure
their safety. I would even give my own life. Do you understand?”
I nodded. “So…do you love me, sensei?” I had been struggling to ask that
question all night.
“I love and care for all my children,” he replied. “You really shouldn’t
preoccupy yourself with such worries.” He gave my head a light pat. “Now, you
should be heading off to bed. Tomorrow is another day.”
I would have given anything to spend the night with him, but I reluctantly
obliged. One stood before me and we both bowed our goodbyes. However, before I
turned to leave, I did something out of the ordinary: I threw my arms around
his neck, embracing him tightly. I received no reaction from One. He just stood
there motionless, arms limp at his sides. Defiantly, I tried again, this time
pulling back slightly and planting a quick kiss on his cheek. When I looked at
his face, I saw that his expression had remained unchanged. He was still
sporting the kind smile that he always wore. “That’s enough,” he gently
breathed. “You should get back to your room now; it’s time for bed.”
At that moment, the realization swept over me. One didn’t love me the way I
loved him. His love for me was like that of a father to a son, nothing more. My
hope of being with him romantically was dashed to bits. I bowed to him once
more and strode out of the room as quickly as possible, my face burning with
embarrassment.
When I got back to my room, I threw the covers over my head and silently wept.
I was a fool for what I had done. One will probably expel me. I should save him
the trouble and just leave myself. My thoughts kept telling me to quit, but I
couldn’t bring myself to do it. Though my heart was breaking, I couldn’t deny
that I was still in love with One. As long as I could be here with him, nothing
else mattered.
Even if he never returned my feelings, I promised myself I wouldn’t give up. I
vowed that I would learn to live with the disappointments. I knew that someday,
love wouldn’t let me down.
After all, like One had said, tomorrow was just another day.
 
 
                            [[end of chapter one]]
***** Dos *****
                                     Dos.
 
I always remembered him as being ice cold. Never smiling, never laughing, a
gray-haired, middle-aged man who wore drab suits and ever duller ascots, he was
the polar opposite of One. The students respected him because they feared him.
His only enjoyment seemed to be dishing out punishments when we misbehaved or
fell behind on our lessons. He especially liked to strike us with his cane,
though never hard enough to leave a serious injury. Though he was a cruel man,
he was still our teacher, and I admired him almost as much as I did One.
Dos had been One’s pupil at some point; his skills were almost equal that of
his teacher. When One grew too old to go on missions, Dos took his place. He
instructed us well, sometimes personally taking us along with him. Under his
tutelage, I was quickly learning to master the art of assassination. By the
time I was eighteen I was taking on clients by myself, though if I was offered
a particularly dangerous mission, I would sometimes go to Dos for advice.
Although I was spending increasingly more time with Dos, One was still my
passion. Every mission, every kill was for him. I thought fondly of him during
the day and jerked off to his image at night. I never again attempted to reveal
my feelings to him, but I held on to them with all I had. I just couldn’t keep
myself from loving him.
My affection for him would prove to be one of my biggest flaws.
 
It happened one day in late summer. I had been one of the students chosen for
laundry duty that week, and was making my way through the halls collecting
dirty garments. Whenever I emptied the wooden basket outside of One’s room, I
would pause to examine the clothes within before cramming them into my sack.
Fine cotton dress shirts, soft, colorful robes—One possessed a great fashion
sense. That morning, my fingers brushed across the silken fabric of a royal
purple tie. After glancing around to make sure I was alone, I brought the tie
up to my face and pressed it gently against my cheek. It smelled faintly of
cologne. I became hard almost instantly.
I should have tried to calm myself down; I should have taken a shower or
thought of something unsexy, like history lessons or girls. But my cock was
aching for attention, demanding it almost. So I did one of the stupidest things
possible. I ran to the bathroom and furiously began to masturbate.
I didn’t know how long he had been standing there. I didn’t even hear the door
slide open. I was oblivious to the world, sitting on the toilet with my pants
down and eyes closed, the tie stuffed in my mouth, hands working my shaft with
vigor. It was only by chance that I happened to glance up. When I saw him, my
blood ran cold. He had an irritated look on his face. “Don't you have anything
better to do? Chores, maybe?”
I scrambled to cover myself. “S-Sensei! I-I-I'm s-sorry—” I stammered. I
couldn't believe how stupid I'd been, forgetting to lock the door.
“Just get back to work,” he hissed.
Dos didn't need to tell me twice; I was desperate to get as far away as
possible. Clumsily, I stumbled past him and down the hall. As I ran off I could
hear him complaining loudly, “Diosmío!These kids will be the death of me!”
 
It was several days before anything came of my encounter with Dos. Just when I
was starting to put the most embarrassing moment of my life behind me, he
called me to speak with him after class. Once the room had cleared, I
approached cautiously, praying that my punishment wouldn't be too harsh.
“Sensei, you wanted to see me?”
Dos nodded and looked me over from head to toe, humming softly. “I wanted to
speak with you about the other day—”
“I'm so sorry, Sensei!” I blurted out. “Please don't tell One about it. I
promise it'll never happen again—”
He prodded me in the chest with his cane. “Watch your tone, niño. I won't
tolerate such childish whining.”
I took a few deep breaths and tried to compose myself before speaking again.
“Sensei, please forgive me. What you saw the other day—”
“Are you a virgin?”
His question caught me off guard. “Sensei?”
“Do I have to repeat myself?” he asked sternly.
I could feel the blood rushing to my face. I lowered my gaze to the floor, too
shocked to look him in the eyes. Why was Dos asking me such personal things?
But, as he was my superior, I had no choice but to answer his inquiries
truthfully. “Y-yes, Sensei. I’m a virgin.”
“Would you like me to teach you, then?”
My ears couldn't believe what they were hearing. “I—are you joking, Sensei?”
Surely he hadn't just offered to have sex with me?
Dos was not amused by my question. “Answer me: Yes or No,” he commanded. “You
only get one shot, so you'd better be sure of yourself.”
My mouth went dry; I was at a loss for words. Yet Dos expected me to answer.
Yes or No?
The decision was ultimately mine to make.
 
Rumor had it that Dos had a wife and children outside of the dojo. He almost
never spent weekends at the complex, so we all assumed he went home to his
family. Regardless of whether or not Dos was a family man, there were other,
seedier rumors circulating about his private life. Some claimed he had sex with
students in exchange for higher grades. They said no one had come forward to
One about it because they were afraid of what Dos would do to them. They knew
just how dangerous he was.
I hadn't believed any of it at first, at least not until the day I heard it for
myself. But why would Dos want to have sex with me? Moreover, why would I want
to have sex with Dos? One was the man I loved. Wouldn't I be betraying him if I
slept with another?
But One didn't want me that way. And I couldn't deny that I was curious about
sex with another man. Besides, I was afraid if I refused, Dos would tell One
what I was doing in the bathroom with his tie. With quivering lips, I agreed to
his proposition.
He met me in my room later that day, taking extra caution to lock the door
behind him. He didn't waste any time in telling me to take off my clothing. I
did as I was instructed, until I stood cold and naked in front of him. My
stomach was in knots. I wondered what Dos thought of me in this state.
Nervously, I glanced down at my nude body, past my chest with its coarse, curly
hair, to my stiffening cock and trembling legs. I examined Dos’ face for any
change in expression, but he was as emotionless as a rock. Maybe I didn’t
impress him as much as some other students he’d had.
I watched as Dos removed his outer jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his
white shirt. After that, he ceased disrobing. I was contemplating how he
intended to do it with his clothes on when he spoke up, his voice echoing in
the tiny room. “Sit down on the mattress.”
I complied, lowering myself to the futon and sitting with my legs slightly
parted. Dos knelt down on the bed before me, his eyes focused on my lower
regions. For a brief moment, I pondered if I had made a mistake in accepting
his offer. But before I could even consider putting a stop to it, Dos reached
for the back of my head and drew me in for a kiss. His lips gently parted mine,
allowing his tongue room to explore. He tasted like cigarettes and bourbon,
strange but not wholly unpleasant. As he delved deeper into my mouth, I thought
to myself, This is the first time I've ever truly kissed someone. I could feel
a stirring down in my cock.
To my disappointment, the kiss didn't last long. Dos pulled away after a few
seconds and dove straight between my legs. I jumped when I felt the sudden
shock of his hot tongue on my shaft. He licked my hardened cock from base to
tip before taking the entire length into his mouth. I'd never felt such an
amazing sensation before. It was warm and wet and slippery—a thousand times
better than jerking off. I craned my neck to watch him suck me, my fingers
nervously tweaking my nipples as I enjoyed the show.
His head bobbed up and down at a steady pace, his tongue swirling circles
around the head of my cock. My body was shaking, trying to hold back, but the
pleasure was overwhelming. I came hard, pouring every ounce of myself into Dos'
mouth. Gasping for air, I watched as he drew back and spit my milky cum into
his palm. “You're supposed to warn someone before you do that,” he scolded.
“S-sorry,” I breathed. I pulled at my ponytail, releasing waves of long brown
hair. “Now...what?” I would've been more than satisfied calling it quits right
there, but Dos had other plans for me.
“On all fours now. Turn around.”
I did as I was told, limbs still twitching from my intense orgasm.
“Spread your legs wider,” he growled. I felt his fingers prying at my ass,
smearing my cum around the hole there. “Now try to relax. This is going to
sting at first.” He circled my entrance for some time, allowing me to grow
accustomed to the strange new sensations. I’d never touched myself there
before, but I found the feeling to be somewhat soothing. I pressed my face into
my pillow and moaned quietly. The pressure around my hole increased slightly,
and very slowly, one of his digits began to wiggle its way inside.
It did sting at first. A lot. My muscles immediately tensed up around the
foreign object. Dos only pushed in deeper, fighting until his entire finger had
been swallowed up. He cautioned me to relax again, insisting that I would
eventually become used to the feeling. I sank deeper into the pillow, trying my
best to calm myself. Gradually, the pain faded to a dull throb, and I was left
feeling strangely full.
Dos began to pump in and out, slowly and carefully at first, then increasingly
faster. I was beginning to feel good. All the little nerve endings inside of me
were on fire; my cock was starting to spring back to life. Then, Dos added
another finger.
The pain became more intense, but I forced myself to bear with it. I reminded
myself that I had been through worse—grueling training, dangerous
swordfights—compared to that, this should have been easy. Yet all the
assurances in the world couldn’t alleviate the hurt. I was vulnerable, at the
mercy of his hands.
He began to spread his fingers apart, stretching me open. My hand fell to my
cock, and I stroked it aggressively, desperate to take my mind off the ache in
my backside. He dug deeper inside me, twisting his digits around. Just when I
thought I couldn’t take any more, Dos touched upon a spot that made my body
shiver in pleasure.
“Ahhhn…what was that?”
“Your prostate,” he replied, curling his fingers. “Feels good?”
Good was an understatement. My eyes seemed to blur with pleasure. “Yeah…please,
don’t stop…” It felt like an electric current was running through my balls, my
cock. My hand was becoming slick with precum. I was so lost in euphoria, I
barely noticed when Dos withdrew and added a third finger.
I gasped as I was spread wider than I had ever been. I could only hope that in
time the sex would get better, that it wouldn’t always be this sick waltz of
pleasure and pain. Dos had no encouraging words for me. He moved in silence,
working slowly and diligently. After a few minutes had passed, he pulled out
completely, leaving me empty and exposed. I heard a familiar zzzip as he pulled
down his fly. “Are you ready?”
I spun my head around in time to see him pull a condom from his pants pocket.
He tore at the foil with his teeth, a look of hunger in his narrow eyes. His
cock was long and pale, graced with thick silver curls at its base. I turned
away when I felt his erection brush against my thigh. Sweat dripped onto the
sheets; strands of hair clung to my face, obscuring my vision. I tried not to
think of the pain that would soon greet me, instead closing my eyes and
focusing on my unsteady breaths. Behind me, Dos lined himself up with my hole,
and carefully began to push inside.
Dos was clearly wider than three fingers, because the moment his head pierced
my opening, I felt a pain greater than anything I had experienced before. It
was almost like a hot iron was being shoved into me. He dug his nails into my
hips and slid in deeper, stretching my tiny entrance until I thought it would
tear. Eventually, he stopped moving, and I realized that he must have been
completely inside me at that point. I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that
the throbbing would soon fade.
My cock had grown a bit soft. Dos reached around and took it in his hand,
giving a few quick tugs. His hips began to rock slowly, inching in and out. He
never stopped to ask if I was alright, though I’m sure he must’ve heard me
crying into my pillow. This was just another training session to him—another
hurdle I had to overcome. I just wished One had been teaching me instead of
Dos.
I found that the pain began to subside when I thought of One. By now, Dos was
fucking me faster and deeper; I could feel his balls slamming against mine. I
was almost ready to come again; he was pumping my cock so intensely.
“Sensei…ahh, Sensei…” I called out to him, though in my mind I was picturing
One inside me. “Feels good…cumming…”
I arched my back as wave after wave of pleasure rocked my core. It was the best
orgasm I’d had up until then, being stimulated from both the front and back.
Dos thrust forward several more times before cumming with a deep growl and a
sharp jerk, his cock pulsing inside me. When he pulled out, I collapsed onto my
side, my eyes heavy with fatigue. Beneath me, the futon was damp with sweat and
semen.
Dos tossed his used condom into my wastebasket, and moved to dress himself. I
watched as he glided elegantly across the room, like the sex hadn’t drained him
in the least. After smoothing out his sleeves and pulling on his jacket, he
reached down and threw the covers over my exposed body. Then, without saying a
word, he unlocked the door.
“Sensei?” I didn’t want him to just fuck me and run. The least he could do was
speak to me.
He turned; his voice assumed its usual air of coldness. “This never happened.
You will never speak of this to anyone. Comprende?”
I hadn’t expected his words to sting so much. “Will you…will you give me more
lessons, Sensei?”
His answer was sharp and concise: “No.” And then, he was gone.
I lay there for a while, listening to the chirping of the birds outside and the
soft patter of slippers moving through the hall. One was probably leading a
meditation session right now; Dos would be heading back to teach unarmed
combat. Neither of them would be thinking of me. Deep inside my chest, I felt a
steady ache beginning to build. It lingered on as I clutched the covers tightly
around my body, never growing worse, yet never dulling. I wondered if I would
eventually grow used to it as I had grown used to the physical pain of having
another man inside me.
Would it have been any different if it had been One?Though I knew One was
nothing like the man to whom I’d just given myself, there was still a speck of
doubt in my mind. I closed my eyes, pushing down the tears that were
threatening to overflow. I was afraid the answer would be the same.
                                        
                            [[end of chapter two]]
***** IV *****
                                     IV.  
                                        
He liked it when I hit him. He would kick and bite, hurl insults at me—anything
to make me strike him harder. He knew exactly how to push my buttons. The more
bruises he had, the more he bled, the more excited he became. Pain was his
pleasure; he got off on it.
Sometimes he liked to be tied up, which was convenient considering all the
bandages he wore. It was easier for me as well. If he was incapacitated, then I
had less of a chance of being slapped or clawed at. Though I preferred a
gentler approach to sex, I fed into his fetishes. Each blow I dealt would cause
his ass to contract and tighten around my cock, filling my body with the most
wonderful sensations.
I soon became a slave to pleasure; my blurred vision could see nothing but the
present moment. My love for One was a distant memory; with each encounter, I
felt it begin to slowly slip away, until it seemed like it had never existed at
all. I was growing as dead inside as the man whose insides I would violently
throttle. My future was splayed out on the bed before me, waiting for me to
fuck it into oblivion. And no matter how I tried, I found I simply couldn't
resist.
I was nothing more than his plaything.
 
“I’m not one for romance...but if it’s sex you want, then I can show you a good
time.”
Those were the first words he spoke to me. It was the first night of the summer
festival and, for many of us, the day we’d finally been assigned our ranks. One
had given me a new lime green yukata for the occasion, and I wore it proudly
along with the name that had been bestowed upon me: Six. In twenty-two years of
my life, I had never been happier.
I was sitting out in the courtyard sipping sake and watching the younger
students set off fireworks when he approached and took a seat beside me.
Everything about him was grey, from the hoodie that shadowed his face to the
pale jeans clothing his torso. He was covered from head-to-toe in bandages,
like a living mummy. I remembered Frances (or Five, as she was now called)
telling me she’d heard rumors that his mother had tried to burn him to death as
a child. Whether or not that was true was none of my concern. I only knew him
as the moody teen who barely spoke a word outside of class. Which was why I was
somewhat surprised when he suddenly began to converse with me.
I scratched at my goatee and regarded him suspiciously, the lights from the
fireworks giving his one good eye an eerie, colorful glow. “Is that so?” I
asked.
He grinned, revealing a set of dark, crooked teeth. “Pink-hair said you were
into guys. So I thought I’d extend the offer.”
“How generous of you.” The sake stung my throat as I took another small sip. I
was in no mood to discuss my sexual preferences with him.
“You’re a lot colder than I thought you’d be, Six.” He spit my name out like
poison, laughing hoarsely. “I likethat.” Slowly, he began to move closer. I
turned my head away, partly to keep myself from reaching out and strangling
him. I tried desperately to keep myself in check as I felt his hot breath hit
the side of my neck. His lips brushed against my skin, sending a brief shiver
down my spine. After a moment, they parted, and he took the very tip of my
earlobe into his mouth, tugging on it gently. His brashness was starting to
turn me on.
He rolled the nub of flesh between his teeth, biting softly at first, then
harder. By the time he released me, my heart was pounding like crazy. “So, you
wanna have some fun?”
Normally, I wouldn’t touch such an ugly, arrogant brat like him, but it had
been some time since I’d had sex, and the temptation to break my dry spell was
too overwhelming. I’ll admit I was also feeling a twinge of resentment toward
him. That this young punk should be given a higher rank than me was
infuriating. I had trained for years to become one of the top mercenaries at
the dojo, yet this kid had seemingly sauntered in and was instantly rewarded
for the simple fact that he’s been born with the ability to use his Chi to
manipulate objects around him. Though there was nothing I could do to change
that, I figured I could at least get the upper hand in the bedroom. I stood
calmly and began walking away. “Follow me.”
I led him through the house to my bedroom. When I turned twenty-one, my living
quarters had been upgraded to a larger space. I now had a double, Western-style
bed with matching end tables and a walk-in closet. Several Japanese tapestries
hung on the walls, framing my cache of katanas and various other weapons. When
IV saw the setup before him, he whistled. “Nice digs. I bet you bring a lot of
men back here.”
My hands tugged at the belt around my waist. I slipped out of my yukata and
hung it on a hook by the closet door. The window was open, and I could feel the
warm breeze dance across my clammy skin. “Let’s make this quick,” I growled
over my shoulder, “I want to get back to the party.”
“Sure thing, sweetheart. Just know I like it with the bandages on.”
I was about to sling a sarcastic comeback at him when I felt a rough strip of
fabric wrap around my wrist. I turned to see him with his palms outstretched,
manipulating the bandage as if he was charming a snake. “Neat trick, huh?” He
laughed, and I could feel the dressings tighten, squeezing until my hand began
to throb. With a sharp tug, he drew me closer, placing a hand on my shoulder
and quickly sealing our lips. Our tongues tangled together, soft and wet,
temporarily taking my mind off of the searing pain in my wrist. IV withdrew to
lick along the underside of my jaw before trailing his tongue down my neck. His
teeth grazed my collarbone. “Wait ‘til you see what else I’ve got up my
sleeves.”
Fingers reached out and began to stroke my cock through my underwear. I moaned
a little as IV began to massage my balls, his tongue sweeping across my throat.
He snaked a hand behind my head, leading me into another kiss. Our lips were
barely touching when, without warning, IV yanked hard on my ponytail, snapping
my neck back and causing me to groan in pain.
“Oww! What the fu—”
“You’re not a virgin, are you?” he inquired, releasing me.
I rubbed the sore spot at the back of my head. “No, I’m not.” In fact, since
I’d lost my virginity to Dos years ago, I’d gathered a great deal of experience
with other men, enjoying both top and bottom positions. I was what they called
“versatile.” “What does it matter anyway?” I hissed.
“I'm not interested in some pansy who can't tell an ass from a hole in the
ground.” He lightly raked his fingernails across my chest. “In case you haven't
noticed, I don't play nice.” With that, he shoved me hard. Luckily the bed was
there to catch my fall; I stumbled and fell onto it like a sack of rocks.
IV was instantly upon me, rubbing his body against mine. His bandages were like
sandpaper on my skin. His teeth tore into the delicate flesh of my neck as he
bit and sucked at it, as if he was determined to leave his mark. My cock perked
up at the sensations. I had never been with a man who liked it so rough. It
hurt a little, but I was somewhat turned on.
He licked a path down my chest to one of my nipples. I shivered beneath the
heat of his mouth, moaning for more. IV's tongue teased the sensitive nub
skillfully, licking tiny circles around it before sucking gently. I could feel
the bulge in my underwear begin to twitch; I wanted that tongue on my cock.
But I wasn't going to get off that easy. After a short period of suckling, I
felt his teeth close around the stiffened bud. He bit down slowly at first,
then gradually increased the pressure, clamping down hard. I winced at the
pain, but it only made him bite harder, tugging at it until I thought it would
come clean off.
“Ouch! Stop! That hurts!”
IV ignored my pleas, repeating the process with the other nipple. My hands
desperately clutched the bandages around his head, squeezing and pulling in an
attempt to make him ease up. I breathed a sigh of relief when he finally backed
away.
His lips traveled south, past my chest and bellybutton to the source of my
desire. He hooked his fingers under my waistband and quickly pried off my damp
and sticky shorts. I closed my eyes and grinned, knowing I would finally get to
feel some real pleasure. IV began by spreading my thighs and nuzzling his face
in the crevasse there. The scratch of the wrappings plus the heat from his
breath made for an enjoyable new sensation. I gasped as I felt his lips part
and his tongue slither across my balls, licking the soft flesh tenderly.
Slowly, I started to relax, enjoying the moist warmth spreading along my cock.
When he reached the head, he paused to tease my slit with the very tip of his
tongue, sending shivers throughout my body. By the time his lips wrapped around
my erection, I was near ready to burst. My fingers fell to my sore nipples,
pinching them in hopes that the pain would dull my excitement.
He took my length all the way to the back of his throat. As he pumped up and
down, he looped a thumb and forefinger around the base of my cock and squeezed
tightly. IV knew that I wouldn’t be able to cum unless he released his grip; in
this position, I was at his mercy. I squirmed as he sucked me faster, his teeth
lightly grazing my shaft.
“Ahhhnn…careful,” I gasped. IV didn’t heed my warning. Instead, he started to
rake his teeth across my shaft, moving slower and biting harder with each
thrust.
“Fuck, stop it!” But my cries only fueled his torment. He tugged and tore at my
flesh with sharp incisors, hands gripping my cock and balls tighter than ever.
I couldn’t move for fear that he would castrate me. All I could do was lie
still, wailing in pain, in hopes that he would eventually release me. If I had
known that sex with IV would be this dangerous, I never would have given it a
second thought.
After a few minutes of torture, I felt IV’s mouth go limp around my cock. I
opened my eyes in time to see him sit back and shoot me an angry look. “Christ,
will you shut up already?”
It was the moment I had been waiting for. I heaved myself up and grabbed his
shoulders, swiftly pulling him down onto the bed beside me. Before he had a
chance to react, I slid over on top of him, pinning him firmly. His eyes spat
fire at me, but there was no way in hell I was letting go. “What the fuck is
your problem, IV?!”
“What, you gonna cry like a little bitch?” he spat back, taking a swipe at my
face. His fingernails caught the corner of my cheek; I felt a sharp stinging as
the flesh tore. “I should’ve known you were just a pussy, Six. Fuck, you didn’t
even have it in you to make One’s top five! You must be such an embarrassment.
I bet he wouldn’t even let you suck his di—”
That’s when I lost it. Hearing him talk about One like that made my blood boil.
I didn’t even think; I just pulled back my fist and swung. It connected with a
dull thwack directly in the center of his face. Tiny drops of red began to
blossom on the bandages covering his nose. IV raised an eyebrow and chuckled,
“Oh, did I hit a nerve, sweetheart?”
Between nearly getting my cock bit off to being mocked by this asshole, I found
it hard to control my rage. I hit him again and again, trying in vain to knock
the smile off his face. His teeth were stained with blood, but he just kept on
laughing. He clawed at my chest, but I pinned his arms. He tried kicking me,
but I held him down with my weight, continuing to assault his face. Fueled by
anger, I wrapped my fingers around his throat, squeezing until he gasped for
air. I only let up when my knuckles became sore from beating him. Otherwise I
would’ve kept going until his pulse stopped.
IV was breathing heavily, his face a mask of crimson rags. He turned his head
and started coughing, splattering blood on the pillow. “Hey,” he wheezed, “you
done playing patty-cake? Or am I gonna have to wait all night for a fuck?”
In hindsight, I probably should’ve walked away at that point. But I was too mad
to stop. I wanted to dominate him, to hurt him when he was vulnerable. Without
taking my eyes off him, I reached into the side table drawer and withdrew a
condom. To hell with preparations—this fucker doesn’t deserve any comfort, I
thought as I rolled the rubber over my erection. IV was still choking through
blood as I raised his hips and parted the bandages around his ass. He groaned
as I began to push into that tight spot, struggling a little for lack of lube,
yet refusing to stop until my entire cock was buried. Fuck, it felt amazing. It
was almost worth the trouble I’d gone through to get it. Almost.
I moved slowly, enjoying all the bumps and ridges inside him. IV started to
writhe beneath me, letting out what sounded like a cross between a moan and a
growl. “Harder, you pussy! You fuck like an old man!” I frowned and picked up
the pace, thrusting deeper and harder. It seemed to please him. “Yeah, that’s
it—faster now…ahhhnn, faster…harder…”
My body was going wild. I reached down and freed the gnarled knob of flesh that
was his cock. It surprised me that he could even get an erection with all that
scar tissue. I gripped him tightly, jerking him in rhythm with my thrusts. By
now I was pounding into him with everything I had, grasping his hips until my
knuckles turned white. But he shouted for more. He dug his nails into my
shoulders and started bucking. I pushed him back down onto the bed and slammed
into him with the entire weight of my body. Over and over, I rammed my cock
inside him with such force, I thought I would break in two. The sound of skin
slapping together was deafening; the aroma of copper wafted through the air.
When I looked down, I saw that my lower regions were covered in his blood.
When I slowed down to survey the damage I’d done, IV scolded, “Don’t stop now!
Fuck, I’m cumming! Ahhhnnn!” He arched his back as he climaxed, ropes of cum
spurting across his chest, dampening his bandages. His entire body shook from
the intensity of his orgasm; his ass began squeezing my cock tighter. I closed
my eyes and came at that very moment, pouring out every ounce of myself.
I pulled out slowly, dazed by the sight of the bloodied sheets. Why had I let
myself get so carried away? Though IV most likely deserved (and even enjoyed)
such a beating, I still felt an iota of guilt that I had treated one of my
comrades so cruelly.
If IV was in pain, he certainly didn’t show it. He rolled off the bed with
ease, and was quickly on his feet. “You rode my ass good,” he remarked as he
resituated his bandages. He pulled on his jeans, not even caring about the
blood staining his thighs. “We’ll have to do this again sometime.”
“Are you alright? You could stay awhile…just until the bleeding stops.” It was
the least I could offer. Besides, I wasn’t the type to fuck and run.
 “You getting soft on me now, Six?” he scoffed. His hand wiped at the corner of
his mouth. “I’m not one for cuddling.” As he strode past me, I noticed a slight
limp in his step. “Seeya around,” he waved as he walked through the door.
I stood at the foot of the bed for some time, naked, the condom hanging off my
lifeless cock, just listening to the pop and crackle of fireworks in the
distance. The air in the room was thick and sultry, hanging like a haze around
me. When I eventually snapped out of it, I threw on a robe and headed to the
bathroom to clean myself up.
I washed the sheets twice that night, but the blood refused to come out.
 
We fucked on and off for two years. I enjoyed it to an extent, though mostly I
did it as a form of stress relief. IV was a handful in the field; his
recklessness put our lives in danger time and time again, and nearly cost us
many missions. It was frustrating having to clean up his messes. I took my
anger out on him in the bedroom, much to his pleasure. Bloody and bruised, he
would stumble away afterwards, the smile on his face a signal that he would be
coming back for me. The cycle never changed.
I knew he was screwing other men on the side, but I didn’t let it bother me.
After all, I was doing the same exact thing, only I was seeking someone I could
permanently call my lover. But to the mercenaries I met, love was nonexistent
and sex was something best done quickly and in secret. No one had time for
tenderness when their next mission could very well be their last. The only
person I saw on a regular basis was IV, and he lacked the capacity for most
“normal” human emotions. My hope for a decent relationship was swiftly
dwindling.
As time passed, I grew tired of IV’s sadistic whims. By then, I’d acquired
enough scars in the bedroom to match the ones I’d picked up from work and
training. Each time I bandaged or disinfected a wound, I told myself that I was
insane to continue on like this. The pleasure just wasn’t enough to match the
grief he caused me. I doubted anything could make him change.
 
“What the fuck did you say?!”
The slap stung so hard, I could feel tears pooling in the corner of my eye. I
rubbed my cheek softly, feeling the heat from where his hand had connected with
flesh. A crescent moon shone through the open window, its glow dulled by the
room’s bright lights. I watched silently as IV paced the floor. He was growling
and mumbling unintelligible words, his hands clenched into fists. Eventually,
he stopped and turned to face me; I braced myself for his blow. But instead he
simply shouted, “Didn’t I tell you I can’t give you what you’re looking for?”
“I’m not looking for anything! I just wanted—”
“You lie!” he whispered. His fingers gingerly touched the sore spot where he
had slapped me. “I can see it in your face. Your eyes, they betray you.” Again,
he drew his hand back and let fly, striking the same cheek.
I winced as the pain flared up, but stood my ground. “Look, all I suggested is
that we take it easy tonight. You know, no hitting, no biting, no rushing away
once we’re finished—just nice and peaceful for once. Just for once.”
IV's eyes were brimming with rage; I felt I would melt from the heat of his
glare. But after a moment he threw up his arms and said, “Fine! I'll let you
treat me gently tonight. But don't get used to it because tonight is all you're
getting.”
I was surprised that he'd let me have my way so easily. As I held him in my
arms and slowly made love to him, I was almost certain that he would fight me.
But IV was true to his word. Every touch was a soft one; every kiss was kind
and gentle. After we finished, I even fell asleep with him in my arms. For that
one night, I finally had what I wanted.
When I woke the next morning, he was gone. I found a poorly-scrawled note left
on the bedside table: IT'S OVER. As I stared at the writing, I rubbed my eyes
and tried to piece together what I was feeling. I had never been in love with
IV, yet my heart ached like I had lost an important part of myself. For the
life of me, I didn't know why. It had only been casual sex. That's all I had
ever experienced in my life.
That morning after I washed up, I shaved off my goatee and cut my hair shorter
than it had ever been. I gathered what little possessions I had and left the
dojo for good. There was simply nothing there for me anymore.
 
 
                           [[end of chapter three]]
***** Knight *****
                                    Knight.
                                        
I wandered like a ronin for some time after leaving the dojo, taking what jobs
I could, never staying in one place for too long and trying my best to avoid
old acquaintances. On the occasions I did run into other members of the
Kurohana, the meetings were awkward at best. Relations between us had been
strained long before I left. IV was impossible to handle, Tré was inept at
anything that didn’t require the use of fists, and Five and Dos had never
really gotten along. Throughout it all, I had been neutral, watching and
waiting for the team to slowly fall apart. Whenever I began to think of them, I
had to remind myself that they were only faces from my past. What I wanted was
a new life.
As desperate as I was for money, I took on jobs that would have been considered
suicide even to the most hardened soldiers. Daring thefts, high-profile
assassinations—I was one of the few that could pull them off without drawing
suspicion to my clients. I was skilled at moving in shadow; they called me the
Green Ninja. There wasn’t a crime boss or guerrilla leader that didn’t want my
services.
One day, I was hired by a well-known politician to execute a rival member of
the ruling party. I would have to infiltrate a heavily-guarded mansion and make
it appear like a robbery gone bad. Though I assured my client I could handle
the task alone, he insisted that I take his personal bodyguard with me as
backup. He introduced me to a tall, muscular man with a weathered face and
mousy brown hair.
I fell for him the minute I gazed into those pale gray eyes.
His name was Robert McKnight, but he preferred simply being called “Knight.” He
was ex-military, though the loss of two toes on his left foot had earned him a
medical discharge. Knight thought the injury to be insignificant; he would
always say, “As long as I can still pull a trigger, I can still fight.”
“Pulling a trigger” was putting it lightly. Knight was the best goddamn
sharpshooter I had ever seen. He wielded each of his hand-assembled weapons
with deadly accuracy. During our first mission, he’d managed to take out the
majority of the mansion’s guards before I’d even entered the building. We
cleared the place out in record time, without so much as a single slip-up or
careless mistake. The two of us working together reached a level of efficiency
my former team could have only dreamed of achieving. The rush of adrenaline I
felt each time I saw some poor fool drop from one of Knight’s bullets was as
intense as any orgasm I’d experienced. It was almost like we were meant to be
together. Knight must have felt the same, because later that evening, as I was
briefing our client on the success of the mission, he casually interrupted,
“All you need to know is Six and I, we were fucking unstoppable out there. Just
imagine what we could do if we were full-time partners.”
A smirk crept across my client’s face. “Is that so? Well, who am I to argue?”
And with that, he offered me a job and a room. I graciously accepted.
In the years we worked together, I learned much about Knight. He took his job
seriously, though he still had a sense of humor and often enjoyed telling
jokes. He was a fan of Arthurian legends, a romantic at heart. He had an
impeccable memory, never once forgetting my birthday. I came to depend on him
during many missions and even considered him my equal. More than that, I
thought of him as a friend. I found myself smiling a lot more when I was around
him, flirting every chance I could get. He was impossible not to like.
At the time we met, I had been living my life with reckless passion, much like
IV had. Among some mercenary groups I had even earned the nickname “Sex in
Green Shades.” But once Knight came into the picture, I knew there was no one
else with whom I wanted to be. It should have been easy for me to put the moves
on him like I had done to countless men before, yet I felt constantly trapped
in a fearful state of inactivity. I wanted more than just a one-night stand. So
for years I pined for him, waiting for the moment when I would find enough
courage to reveal my feelings.
We were carrying out a job in Brussels when the Nanite Event occurred. I
remember the earth trembling and the air around us growing warmer. A wave of
light spilled over the horizon, consuming everything in its path. My vision
went black. When I regained consciousness, I saw Knight kneeling over me,
calling my name and gently shaking me. We paced back and forth on the rooftop
of an abandoned building, cursing wildly and asking ourselves what we should
do. Once we found our composure, the two of us fought our way back home,
slicing through the monsters that appeared. We witnessed people and animals
instantly mutating before our eyes, while others writhed about, slowly losing
their humanity. And from that point on, the horrors only grew worse.
When we entered our employer’s mansion, we were greeted with a scene of
carnage. The ruthless politician had transformed into a slender, ape-like
abomination and was currently in the process of devouring several of the staff.
When one of his many bloodshot eyes trained upon us, he abandoned his pile of
limbs and entrails and charged, seeking out fresh meat. I drew my katana and
ended his misery with a single swing.
Fleeing our former residence, we sought refuge in one of my old safehouses. For
nearly a week straight, we kept a vigilant watch, alternating shifts so that
one of us was awake at all times. We were both terrified by the events
occurring around us. I could see it in Knight’s face—his trembling brow,
twitching muscles—he was on the verge of a breakdown. No amount of training
could have ever prepared me for this, but I hid my fear as best I could. I had
to be brave for Knight. I vowed to protect him at all costs.
“Six, you gotta do me a favor, pal,” Knight asked one evening. “If I ever start
to turn into one of those creatures, I want you to kill me. Understand?”
The prospect of having to kill my closest friend deeply disturbed me, but out
of respect I agreed to his request. Back then, we didn’t know if a cure was
even possible. We wouldn’t find out for some years to come.
It took several months for things to settle down. By then, scientists all over
the world were looking into the cause of the sudden mutations, and had even
formed an organization to deal with the genetic freaks. They called it
Providence. With it came the prospect of a return to normalcy. For the first
time in a long while, I felt a spark of hope for the future.
Then I received a call from Five, informing me of One’s condition.
“He’s changing, love.” Her voice trembled ever so slightly. “He won’t admit it,
but you can see it in his face. And—and he’s growing scales. The four of us are
trying to figure out what to do. Who knows how long he can hold out?”
I left my partner and rushed back to the dojo, to be by One’s side. He welcomed
me with open arms, like I was the prodigal son that had finally returned. The
others, however, treated me like an outcast. Five was the only one of the group
who would speak to me. “It means a lot to One that you’ve come back,” she told
me in private. “He’s missed you terribly.”
But I didn’t stay there for long. I knew that I had to find a cure for One. I
did some research into Providence, gathering all the information I could about
its mission and what it could do for these EVOs, as they were calling them. I
located a recruitment office and contacted Knight, asking him to join the
organization with me. In my mind, it was the only choice I had. I would’ve done
anything to help my master.
As I left to meet Knight, I knew in my heart that I was doing the right thing.
A few months before my 32nd  birthday, I became a full-fledged Providence
agent.
 
“Did you see that thing’s head pop? It was like a fuckin’ pimple, I tell ya!”
We stumbled through the door after an evening of partying, Knight’s arm slung
around my shoulder. He was smashed; the stench of alcohol seemed to seep out of
every pore. I struggled just to keep him on his feet. “I know, I was there,” I
replied, a hint of annoyance in my voice. “Or did the alcohol make you forget
already?”
Knight laughed, “C’mon, Six—‘s all in fun. Don’t be such a buzzkill.”
As the commanding officer of our unit, Knight had given us permission to grab
some drinks at one of his favorite local bars after a particularly satisfying
battle. We’d managed to capture several insectoid EVO specimens for the lab,
and had made quick work of the rest of the hive. Everyone was in the mood for
celebration. Knight certainly didn’t need an excuse, though. He’d been an
aficionado of alcohol for as long as I’d known him. In our early days, we’d
spent many nights out at various locales, Knight downing Scotch and beer while
I sipped Tequila. I never drank to the point of intoxication, though, out of
fear of what secrets I might let slip. I was determined to keep my emotions
guarded.
Knight almost always left the bar with a woman, to my chagrin. He didn’t have a
“type,” he just liked them all, though he never seemed to like the same one
twice. Those times, I would tame my jealous anger by prowling for a man to keep
me occupied. But that night, the establishment was devoid of the opposite sex.
Knight still held out hope, drinking until closing time, long after the rest of
our company had gone back to base. We were left alone together, searching for a
hotel to crash in, as neither of us was fit to drive. The only room I could
find was a sleazy hole-in-the-wall with one double bed and a tattered chair
beside a lopsided bureau. So much for a decent night’s sleep, I thought. I
helped Knight over to the bed and tried to lay him down easy, but his dead
weight slipped from my arms and he landed with a thud. The bedsprings squealed
beneath him.
“Thanks, pal.” He closed his eyes and began kicking at his boots, trying to get
them off. I sighed and moved to assist him.
“Just so you know, you’re paying me for your half of this hellhole as soon as
you wake up.” I tugged at his triple-knotted laces, eventually giving up and
just yanking the boots off.
“I know I know,” he mumbled. He yawned and turned onto his side.
I sighed and removed my shades, rubbing my tired eyes and muttering, “Damn
drunk.” I placed them on top of the bureau along with my gloves. Next, I
carefully unhooked the katana from my back and laid it across the chair. Knight
was already asleep and snoring. I walked over and sat on the bed beside him.
Though he was still fully dressed, he looked comfortable with his arms folded
in front of him and his legs drawn into his chest. His lips were slightly
parted.
I envied him at that moment. I wanted to be able to rest as easily, without
constantly feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. The daily
struggles of fighting EVOs and fighting my own feelings were wearing me out. I
needed some warmth; I needed comfort.
With trembling hands, I reached out and gently brushed my fingers across his
cheek. He stirred slightly, rolling onto his back. When I was certain that he
was still asleep, I cautiously leaned over and brought my face closer to his,
until I could feel the heat from his breath against my flesh. His mouth was
calling out to me; I wanted so badly to taste it. I asked myself what the hell
I was doing, but my mind told me to keep going. Isn’t this the moment you’ve
been waiting for? There were no intrusive Providence surveillance cameras, no
late-night emergency missions. We were closer than ever—in the same bed,
even—so what was holding me back? It would have been so easy to rouse him with
a kiss, whisper my feelings to him. The two of us would make love and fall
asleep in each others’ arms. Our lips were almost touching; all it would take
was just a few more centimeters.
But I froze. My heart began pounding, my stomach churning. What if he’s
repulsed by me? What if he accuses me of taking advantage of him in this
state?Or worse, if something were to happen between us, what if he regrets it
or blames it solely on his intoxication?
Can I stand to face whatever the morning will bring?
The weight in my chest was unbearable. I pulled away from him, blinking back
tears. I just couldn’t do it. I was a pathetic coward.
I rushed into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. My eyes stung with
guilt and frustration. I stripped off my clothes and stepped into the shower,
hoping the heat and steam would clear my mind. The water cascaded through my
hair and over my aching muscles. Tired fingers massaged my head, yet I couldn’t
stop thinking of Knight outside, sleeping peacefully without the slightest idea
of what I felt for him. He was the object of my love and my lust; would I ever
be able to tell him so?
And what if I had done it? I closed my eyes and imagined how my lips would feel
pressed against Knight’s. In my mind, his mouth is warm and inviting; I flick
my tongue across his teeth. When I draw back, his eyes are open and he’s
smiling at me.
I took my fingers into my mouth and lightly sucked on them.
He’s smiling at me now. He cups my face in his calloused palm, whispering my
name. “Six.” With a gentle pull, he draws me in for another kiss, his tongue
swirling around mine.
My heart was beating faster; I could feel its pounding as my hands moved down
my chest.
But kissing isn’t enough. We want each other so badly, we’re practically
tearing at our clothes. I begin to strip off his combat suit, exposing his
broad shoulders and muscular upper body. His chest hair is thick and dark; I
bend down and rub my face in it, inhaling the intoxicating musk of his sweat. I
can feel the bulge straining at his pants as I unzip his fly and slip my hand
inside. The heat from his crotch radiates through my fingers and up the entire
length of my arm. Fuck, it feels amazing—so thick and meaty—I can’t wait to get
my lips around it. Impatiently, I unbuckle his belt and yank his pants off,
exposing every inch of his tantalizing flesh.
I begin at his feet, twirling my tongue between the cracks of his toes, then
sucking each one gently. Tracing the scars on his calves, I travel upward along
the inside of his leg until I’ve finally reached my prize. He lets out a sharp
gasp as my lips brush against his balls. I take one of the soft spheres into my
mouth. It tastes so good, sweet and salty at the same time. After sucking on it
for a while, I release him and move to his cock, licking him from base to tip.
Knight isn’t about to lie back and let me have full control, though. His
fingers grasp the shoulders of my vest and tug, pulling it over my head. I
assist him by removing my shirt and pants. Soon, we’re both completely naked,
lying side-by-side on the bed. He climbs on top of me; his swollen cock presses
against mine, his precum dripping onto my abdomen. I reach out and place my
hand on it, rubbing our engorged erections together. Knight hums and leans in
for a quick kiss. His voice is heady and sultry in my ear: “I’m going to make
you feel so good.” He licks his way down my neck and across my chest, to one of
my nipples. His wet tongue teases the bud until it becomes stiff.
I bit the inside of my cheek in an attempt to stifle my moans. When I pinched
my nipples, I could feel the sparks travel all the way down to my cock. Fuck, I
just couldn’t resist touching myself whenever I thought of him. I continued on
with my fantasy:
His lips are on the move, inching lower and lower. They graze the crest of my
hip, then creep along my inner thigh. My whole body shivers as he covers my
cock in soft, wet kisses. Unable to resist, I gaze down to watch him work. We
lock eyes as he slowly opens his mouth.
I couldn’t tell if my cock was slick from the shower or from pure excitement. I
grasped it tightly, stroking as I thought of Knight sucking me.
He flicks the very tip of his tongue across the head several times before
swallowing the entire length. I clutch at his golden-brown hair, tugging him
closer, wanting him to devour every piece of me. But after a few languid
thrusts, he pulls away. I groan in disappointment as the cool air hits my damp,
throbbing erection. Knight shoots me a devious smile. His hands creep beneath
my ass, and slowly he begins to raise my hips. I assist him by grabbing my
ankles and pulling until I’m bent in half, eagerly anticipating his next move.
His breath is hot on my thighs; his tongue slips into my crack, gently sweeping
over my hungry entrance.
With one hand, I reached behind me and slid a finger between my cheeks,
pressing gently on the tiny pucker that resided there.
My heart is racing; I’m barely able to control my wanton moans. Knight bathes
my hole in warm saliva; I can feel it dripping down my back. He sucks lovingly
on the center before prying it open with his tongue. I cry out as the very tip
enters me, sending delightful shivers down my spine. He moves it in a tight
circle, just barely dipping below the surface. As I beg him to go deeper, he
reaches for my cock, stroking it vigorously. He’ll make me cum before he’s even
had a chance to penetrate me.
I traced around the ring several times while I continued jerking off, imagining
my partner’s hands and mouth pleasuring me from every which way. The feeling
was so amazing, it made my legs tremble. I wanted more.
Finally, Knight listens to my pleas and withdraws his tongue, taking a finger
and massaging the slick, softened hole. I gasp as I feel it begin to sink
inside me. He’s in all the way up to the knuckle in no time. I implore him to
add another finger and he complies, making a snide comment about me being so
greedy.
I unwrapped a bar of soap that I found inside the tub and started to lather up
my fingers. Placing a foot up on the edge, I closed my eyes and wriggled two
digits inside, ignoring the dull burning sensation. With a hand still on my
cock, I began pumping in and out slowly.
His fingers are fucking me deeper and harder. They twist around, caressing my
prostate. I’ve reached my limit; I release my ankles and desperately try to
pull away from him. “Fuck me—fuck me now!” I wriggle beneath him like a
helpless, suffocating fish. Knight grins and drops my lower half to the bed.
I’m almost too exhausted to move, but with his help I manage to pull myself
onto my hands and knees. Knight maneuvers behind me, his strong arms wrapping
around my waist as he presses into me. His head pierces my entrance and
continues sliding, sliding until all of him is buried deep inside. His long
cock fills me up to the point of bursting. I groan in pleasure as he fucks me,
his hips moving at a steady pace.
My body was feeling so good, I added a third finger, moving faster than before.
His hand strokes my cock in rhythm with his thrusts. I can barely hold myself
back. My moans come out in between ragged gasps; my heart is pounding out of my
chest. He holds me close against him, kissing the back of my neck. His tongue
sweeps across my ear. “Six,” he whispers, “I just couldn’t stop myself from
falling in love with you.”
That’s when I came—hard—ass twitching and cum splattering the tile. Taking
several deep breaths, I eased my fingers out of myself. The water was growing
cold; I shivered and shut off the tap, not caring how clean or dirty I was.
Steam hung thick in the air outside the shower. After drying off, I wiped the
fog from the mirror above the sink and took a long look at the man reflected in
the glass. How many times have I done this?I asked myself. I was stockpiling
fantasies about my friend and partner while allowing reality to slip away from
me. How could I ever bring my desires to life if I couldn’t even bring myself
to kiss him? The familiar tears came back to cloud my eyes. Fuck, what the hell
was wrong with me? I was a Kurohana. We didn’t cry, we had the courage and
physical strength to overcome anything, even hopeless love. How could I let
this man have such power over me?
And what about Knight? How could he be so stupidly oblivious to my feelings? I
angrily gripped the edge of the sink, face burning with rage. I was so
desperate to blame someone else for my own failings, that for one brief moment
I focused all of my hatred on the only friend I had. I really was pathetic.
Though it took a while, I eventually calmed down. When I gazed into the mirror,
I saw that my eyes were tinged with red. My head ached, but inside I felt
completely numb. “I’m a Kurohana,” I whispered as I stared at my reflection. “I
never let emotions get in my way.” It was time I practiced what I had been
taught all those years ago at the dojo. I needed to stop being so emotionally
reckless.
If I couldn’t have Knight, then I would simply have to bury my feelings for him
deep inside of me where they could never again see the light of day. It would
take some time, but eventually they would fade like my intense desire for One
had. And on the outside, I would project an air of calm indifference. I’d go
along with his drinking and partying, act like the slick, cold killer that
everyone thought me to be. Fuck, I’d even let him think I was into women if
that’s what it took to convince myself and the world that I didn’t want him. No
one would ever be able to see the truth. The façade would slowly become
reality.
And it would all just fade away.
I dressed quietly and exited the bathroom. Knight was snoring loudly, probably
dreaming of alcohol and women. I snatched my shades from the bureau and put
them on, my hands heavy with disappointment. Then, I took a seat in the corner
of the room and watched the man I loved sleep, peacefully indifferent to the
world around him.
Eventually, I gave in to fatigue and let the calming darkness overtake me. My
sleep was a deep and dreamless one. When I woke, Knight was standing over me
with a smile on his face, telling me it was time to get back to base. We left
the hotel and made the long drive back, Knight chattering the entire way as I
sat in silence and gazed out the window. Life went on like it always had.
 
                            [[end of chapter four]]
***** Rex *****
                                     Rex.
                                        
Upon first glance, he appeared to be just another corpse—an unfortunate
casualty in this seemingly unending war between humans and EVOs. It was a war
that I grew wearier of with each passing day. Providence was doing little to
help those afflicted with these horrific mutations. They were too preoccupied
with their lab rats and vivisections and their plans for building weapons of
mass extermination. Months and years passed quickly; the death toll rose as
countless innocents became caught in the crossfire. The young boy I’d just
unearthed was a perfect example of a life cut tragically short by the
senselessness of war. His shell rested peacefully beneath the Mexican sunset,
his calm face framed by the rubble of a collapsed building. As I stood before
him, clutching bits of rocks and plaster, I felt a twinge of sorrow shake my
battle-hardened heart.
And then he opened his eyes.
When I’d picked him up on that nightmarish evening years ago, I never imagined
that one day we'd be in each others' arms, making love. Never had I thought
this boy that I’d trained and mentored—watched over like a father almost—would
pursue me so vehemently that I would begin to question my own intentions.
Things became so heated between us that I would have to force myself to come up
with excuses just to keep my hands off of him. But my days of resisting are a
distant memory. Now, I’ve seen every inch of him, touched and tasted every
part, inside and out. He opened his body to me, and in return I opened my
heart. I faced my deepest fears and most hidden emotions, all for him. And
there is not a moment of it that I regret.
 
My palms slide across his back, caressing the smooth, slippery flesh below his
shoulder blades. We’ve barely just begun, but it feels like we’ve been at it
for hours. Whenever I’m with him, time seems to stop; kisses last an eternity
and hands move as if in slow-motion. All sounds become amplified, from our
ragged breaths to the incessant rattling of the bed frame. Neither of us cares
much about holding back our voices. We’re entirely devoted to the task at hand.
He moves around slowly inside of me, taking care to hit every bump and
wrinkle—all my favorite spots. Though we’ve done this more times than I can
count, he always treats me gently, as if this was our first night together. I
don't mind, though; I love every minute of it. The heat that rises as our
bodies connect, the press of his lips against mine, the lingering scent of
sweat and passion—they drive me to the edge time and again.
Every nerve, every fiber of my body is bursting with electricity. I squeeze Rex
tighter, bringing our mouths together. His lips are soft and moist, kissing me
tenderly at first before parting to allow his tongue to sink deep inside of me.
My cock is slick with sweat and precum; he strokes me at an achingly slow pace,
occasionally rubbing his thumb across my slit. I feel as if I’m about to go
insane. “Rex…” I moan, pulling my mouth away from his. I press my lips against
his ear and whisper, “…deeper…”
Rex draws back as I loosen my grip around his shoulders. He raises my hips to
give himself a better angle of penetration before pushing back inside of me.
From this position, I can feel the very tip of his cock brush against my
prostate. I groan in pleasure. “Ahhnn…that’s good, Rex. More…”
Never one to disappoint, Rex spreads my legs wider and thrusts into me with the
full weight of his body. “Fuck, I’m so close, Six…” He begins to move a little
faster, gasping as he fights his own climax. “You’re always…so tight and hot…”
I flash him a seductive smile. “And you’re always so thick and hard.” My hand
grasps my cock and I stroke it briskly.  I can feel myself reaching my peak,
but I try to hold back, waiting for Rex.
He clutches my thighs as he plunges in ever deeper. I can feel him throbbing,
hear his mad gasps and low moans. I know he’s about to explode inside me. But I
want to tease him some more first.
With my free hand, I reach up and stroke his smooth, muscular chest. My fingers
creep over and I delicately circle one of his nipples. It's hot and stiff, just
begging for attention. I roll it between my thumb and forefinger, eliciting
sexy little cries from Rex. Humming my satisfaction, I squeeze my muscles
around his cock, at the same time pinching his nipple harder. He groans and
closes his eyes, his face twisted in ecstasy.
“I can't...fuck, I'm cumming!”
I watch in delight as his body tenses and his cock erupts, coating my inner
walls in his sweet, milky cum. As he struggles to catch his breath, Rex reaches
down and places his hand over mine; together we tug at my erection until my
limbs twitch and hot semen shoots across my abdomen.
He slides out of me with a long exhale. Dipping his head down, he wraps his
lips around my softening cock, licking and sucking every last drop out of me. I
let out a soft moan, enjoying the extra attention he's lavishing on me. When
he's finished with my cock, he moves to the mess on my stomach, lapping up the
thick, white liquid like a kitten drinking warm milk.
“Ahh! Stop, Rex! That tickles!” My fingers tangle in his dark locks and I give
a light tug. “Haven't you had enough of me?”
Rex pulls away and licks his lips. “Is that a trick question? I want all of
you, Six. Allthe time.”
“Tough,” I growl back at him. “If I let you have your way, we'd never get any
sleep. And if our performance in the field begins to slip because of you, I'd
never hear the end of it.”
“Meh...” He shrugs. “Sorry if I just can't get enough of you.” Rex glances down
at me and grins. “It's probably because you're so damned sexy. Especially that
tight ass of yours.”
I raise my eyebrow at him. “You know compliments will get you nowhere with me.
Even ones about my 'tight ass,' as you so lovingly called it.”
“Yeah, I figured as much.” With a sigh, he flops onto his back beside me. I
stretch out my arm for him; he rolls over onto it, laying his head on my chest.
“Well, the sex was good, at least. Right?”
“Mmmm,” I murmur my agreement. I close my eyes and lose myself in the feel of
Rex’s heartbeat against my body. Thumpthumpthumpthump—it resonates like a drum.
When Rex finally speaks, his voice drowns out its peaceful echo.
“Six? Am I better than any other guy you’ve been with?”
I crack an eye open, tilting my head toward him. “You shouldn’t compare
yourself to anyone else, Rex. What matters is that we’re together now.”
He struggles into a sitting position, pulling the covers over his lap. “I know,
it’s just…” he trails off, staring at the wall directly in front of him. “I
mean, compared to you, I don’t really have any experience at this.”
“Rex…” I place an assuring hand on his. “You’re not going to lose me to another
man. You should stop worrying about such ridiculous things.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He chuckles, turning to me with a wink and
saying, “Hey, as long as I can still make you moan, everything’s ok with me.”
I sigh, shaking my head. “Honestly, I’m too old for this. Why couldn’t I have
fallen for someone my own age?”
After calming his laughter, Rex settles back into bed next to me, propping
himself up on his elbow. “So…” he begins, “How did White Knight take it when
you told him? Oh! I bet he choked on his glass of milk! Tell me he choked on
his glass of milk!”
“It went as expected. He was initially shocked and angered, but in the end
there’s not much he can do about it. I told him so myself.”
Rex’s hand absentmindedly plucks at the hairs on my chest. “Are you sure about
that? I mean, I don’t wanna wake up one day to find you’ve been shipped off to
Timbuktu or something.”
“There’s nothing he can do, Rex,” I sternly reply. “Not unless he wants to lose
his two best agents.”
Rex breathes a sigh of relief, wrapping his arms around me. “Good. That makes
me happy to hear.” He gives me a quick peck on the cheek. “Te amo,Six.
Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Rex.” I roll onto my side and place a hand on his hip, squeezing
gently. We hold each other close; Rex’s warm breaths caress the side of my
neck. I’m just beginning to relax when I hear him speak, his voice muffled by
my flesh.
“Six? Can I ask you a question?”
I pull back enough so that our foreheads are touching. “Sure.”
“You and White Knight—you’ve known each other for a while, right?”
“It’s been some time, yes. Why?”
“Well, I was wondering…” he hesitates. “I know it’s really none of my business,
but…did the two of you ever…you know…?”
My heart skips a beat. I can feel the words cling to the back of my throat.
“No. We were friends, nothing more.” I take a deep breath and close my eyes.
“Satisfied now?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Six.” With that, he places another kiss on my cheek and the two
of us sink into a calm, silent embrace.
 
“Rex and I are a couple now. You may voice your concerns, but know that our
relationship will not affect our work. I give you my word on that.”
Knight folded his hands and glared at me from the monitor on the wall. Whenever
I was alone in that white, sterile room, I always felt so tiny, like I was
being looked down upon by some condescending god. In reality, Knight was
something of a god to Providence: their Nanite-free poster child and almighty
figurehead. And at the moment, that god was pissed. Though he tried to hide it
behind an air of calmness, I could see the gray fire brimming in his eyes. “Am
I hearing you correctly, Six? You mean to tell me that you and Rex are dating
or something?”
I regarded him cautiously behind my green-tinted lenses, weighing my words
carefully. “I’ve read about the potential downsides of workplace romances in
the Providence handbook, but I don’t entirely care. The two of us are happy
together, and that’s all that matters to me.”
But my assurances weren’t enough to penetrate his shell. “Is that so? And just
how long has this been going on?”
“That’s not your concern.” I wasn’t about to reveal every detail of my sordid
relationship with my young partner.
“It damn well is.” I could almost feel the room shake from his suddenly hostile
tone. “Christ, Six, do you know how unethical this will seem to some people? My
top agent seducing a minor—”
“He’s not a child anymore; he can make his own decisions,” I shot back. “And
since when have you ever been concerned about Rex?”
“What concerns me is the reputation of this organization. If our sponsors were
to find out—”
“—I thought so. I’m only telling you this as a courtesy. And because we were
friends once. There’s nothing you can do to change it.” I turned to take my
leave. As far as I was involved, this conversation was over.
However, Knight wasn’t about to let me go without getting in the last word.
“You know, Six, I never believed all the rumors I’d heard about you over the
years. I guess I was wrong. You really will fuck just about anyone.”
I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to face him. “Believe what you want,
just know that I believe in our love. And nothing you say can take that from
me.” And with that I walked out on the man with whom I had once been
infatuated, my shoes echoing a hasty retreat. I felt his gaze burning into me
through the glass and wires, but I forced myself not to look back.
A new chapter of my life was beginning right ahead of me.
 
I rub my eyes, squinting at the red glow of the clock beside me: 2:37AM. At
some point in the night, Rex had stolen the blankets from around me. I shiver
as I creep over to his side of the bed, tugging a small portion back for
myself. My arm wraps around him for warmth, causing him to stir slightly.
Smiling, I hold him close.
“Rex,” I whisper, “you asked me if you were the best man I’d ever been with.”
Rex makes a soft noise, but remains fast asleep. “Well, you are.” My hand
brushes a lock of hair from the side of his forehead and I plant a light kiss
there. “I didn’t think I was capable of finding love until you showed me how.
If you hadn’t forced your way into my heart, I never would have known how happy
I could be. Until I met you, I thought I was destined to be loveless.” I
squeeze him tighter, feeling all my emotions flooding out of me. “I may never
be able to tell you personally, but I’m so grateful.”
“Mmph…” He rolls onto his stomach, burying his face into the pillow. Through
the thick layers of fabric and cotton, I hear him mumble, “You’re welcome.”
Then, the world is still once again.
“Aishiteru,Rex. And goodnight.” I close my eyes as I speak these final words,
feeling my body melt into the darkness. When I wake tomorrow, Rex will still be
beside me, sleeping peacefully. He’ll groan and grumble about not wanting to
get out of bed and I’ll end up having to drag him to his feet as usual. We’ll
shower and dress and Rex will give me a kiss before breakfast. Then he’ll ask
if he can hold my hand on the way to the cafeteria, and I’ll glare at him and
tell him no. The morning will go on as it always does, the afternoons and
nights will follow. Every day will be the same yet different. And through it
all, he’ll still be beside me. Whenever I look back at my past, the memories of
him will always shine brightest.
 
That night I dream that I’m back at the dojo. It’s summer again; the evening
air is crisp and mild, and the paper lanterns lining the courtyard sway in the
breeze. Rex is beside me, his hand tightly clutching mine. He wears a bright
red yukata embroidered with sakura petals, a sharp contrast to my plain lime
green robes. Together we cross the courtyard to where a human One waits,
looking exactly as he did the day I last saw him. Shadows play across his face,
but I can see that he’s smiling. He welcomes us both with open arms.
“Sensei, this is Rex, my partner.”
One reaches out and places a hand on each of our shoulders. Then he turns to
face me, a gleam in his kind blue eyes. “I always had faith in you, Six.”
The three of us stand there beneath the haze of the moon, silently and innately
connected like the links of a chain. Around us, the world moves as it always
had. It is the first night of the summer festival. Older students are lounging
around drinking sake while the children light sparklers. The air pops and
crackles with life and love.
I smile and squeeze Rex’s hand. Overhead, fireworks paint the night sky a
rainbow of colors.
 
                             [[“Loveless” – end]]
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