Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/5794549.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      EXO_(Band), Sekai_-_Fandom, KaiHun_-_Fandom, Kim_Jongin, Kai_-_Fandom,
      Sehun_-_Fandom, Oh_Sehun_-_Fandom
  Relationship:
      Kim_Jongin_|_Kai/Oh_Sehun, Sekai_-_Relationship, KaiHun
  Character:
      Kim_Jongin_|_Kai, Oh_Sehun
  Additional Tags:
      Love_Me_Right, High_School, Gang
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-01-23 Words: 7738
****** Loved You Wrong ******
by Hyperionova
Summary
     Sehun falls for the wrong guy.
10 months earlier.
 
"I love you, Sehun." Kai's raspy tone rendered Sehun goose-fleshed. The older
man's eyes were cast straight into Sehun's.
 
"I do know that, Kai." he sighed.
 
"Then, what are you hesitating for?"
 
"I'm not... hesitating. You just... I just... I don't know how to react to
this. Maybe there's another way."
 
A scoff escaped Kai's lips and a corner of his lips quirked up into a rude
smirk. "I practically begged behind you for years, following, chasing you from
school to your house and after you agreed to go out, I've done nothing but stay
true to you, love you with everything I have. You're gonna listen to your
parents? It's either me or your parents. Your choice." he spat like a snake
spitting out its venom.
 
Balling his hands by the sides, Sehun clenched his jaw before lurching forward
and grabbed hold of Kai's shirt. "What are you even talking about? I love you,
you ass. I'd do anything you ask me to do." he hissed, but Kai only smirked in
return. He would always love some frustrated Sehun. "But this is... eloping
with you is..."
 
"Do you not trust me?" he forcefully yanked Sehun's wrists, freeing his shirt
from Sehun's grip.
 
"I do trust you. But.. I have just graduated and... running away... Kai.. I..."
 
"What the fuck is your problem, then? Should we just break up if your parents
are gonna be a constant pain in the ass? Just go to your fucking UK and study
all that you want." he started to turn around with a monstrous scowl etched on
his face.
 
"No." Sehun gasped, grabbing Kai's arm to stop him from walking away. "No. I
don't want UK or my parents, okay? I want you."
===============================================================================
"You should not be studying all the time, Sehun." Lay's question came out in a
frustrated tone.
 
"Forget about it. He's not gonna listen to you no matter what you say. Nerds
will always be nerds."
 
Slinging his backpack over a shoulder, Sehun rolled his eyes at his so-called
best friends and rose from the desk. "I'm not a nerd, Tao. Just a boy with a
brighter future than yours." scoffing, he clapped a hand on Tao's arm before
weaving his way past him.
 
"Yeah." Tao snorted, trailing behind him as they made their way out of the
school building. "You're all books and smarts, no fun, Mr Class President. You
can worry about your future later. But now, you're wasting your years of being
a teenager!"
 
"He's got a point, Sehun." Lay supplemented. "It wouldn't hurt you to just come
over for the party for like.. an hour or so."
 
Heaving in a sigh, Sehun shook his head, unbuttoning his blazer and loosening
the tie as he strode for the school gate. The scorching summer sun over his
head was tormenting enough to set himself ablaze. With sweat beads trickling
down his temples, he turned to face his classmates with a nonchalant grin. "We
have mock exams next week. Only you guys would think about partying."
 
"Hot girls." Lay shrugged.
 
"Drunk girls." Tao added with a lewd smirk.
 
"Failed Math." Sehun supplied. "How does that sound?"
 
"Dude, if you're gonna be a party pooper, don't bother saying anything."
 
Pushing the bangs that curtained his eyes out of his forehead, Sehun emptied
his lungs with another great sigh. "I would like to come, too. But I have to do
well in this exam. Besides, my parents will never let me go to any parties with
you guys."
 
"I swear, I'd rather kill myself than live a day under the same roof as your
parents."
 
Well, it wasn't like Sehun had to choice. He was almost used to his parents
straining him with rules and controls. Born into a wealthy and affluent
household, Sehun wasn't given much of an alternative than to abide his parents
orders. All that he was told to do was study well and save his parents', who
preened on their hard work and success, reputation. He could do that.
 
As they ambled their ways out the school's gate, Sehun smiled at the security
guard. "God, they're annoying." Lay's sudden comment attracted his attention
again.
 
"Who?"
 
With a scowl playing on his brows, Lay jerked his chin towards the crowd of
motorbikes and their riders flocking the front of the school. Cigarette smoke
clouded over their heads as laughs and foul jokes were produced from their
crude remarks at the girls walking out of the school."Assholes checking out
school girls. Why can't people report them or something?"
 
"Nobody would want to get in trouble with those dudes." Tao replied.
 
Sehun squinted at the burning sun before shooting the bikers a look when he
heard one of them call out names at a fellow schoolmate. With his jaw
tightened, Sehun tried to keep his face neutral, but he could not take his eyes
off the heavily tattooed and pierced boys who probably ranged from the age of
20 to 30. "Let's just keep going." he muttered under his breath, but his pace
only slowed down when he spotted the guy amid the riders. The moment he
realized that the guy, who was not as heavily pierced or tattooed as the
others, was staring straight at him, Sehun's heart nervously skipped a beat and
he quickly averted his gaze by hanging his head. When he looked up again at the
guy who was leaning over his motorbike with his elbows on the seat and a
cigarette dangling between his fingers, the rider straightened up but his eyes
were fixated on Sehun.
 
It took Sehun a moment to discern how rugged the guy looked. Perfect jawline,
bronzed complexion, plush lips, angry penetrating eyes, but most of all, his
sharp look. Shuddering a little, Sehun forced himself to look away and only
when Tao draped an arm over his shoulders did he realize that he had been
holding his breath all the while. "Were you even listening to what we're
saying?"
 
"Huh?" Sehun exhaled, turning his head around to catch one final glance of the
rider behind him. And as soon as their eyes met again, the stranger dropped his
cigarette to the ground and leaned his side against the lamppost next to him
with a smirk stretching his lips. Panting a little, Sehun returned his eyes to
his moving feet. "That was... scary." he uttered under his breath.
 
"What was scary?" asked Lay.
 
"Did you see the way he looked at me?"
 
"Who looked at you?"
 
"Never mind. Maybe it's just me." he fought the urge to look back but god, he
was going to have nightmares about that guy.
 
 
 
Only that he ended up having wet dreams about him. That was how it all started.
The next day, he saw the rider outside the school again. Only this time, Sehun
earned a full-blown smile from him. Even then, Sehun hadn't bothered to return
or acknowledge the smile, although he had anticipated and hoped to see him
again. His body reacted to the smile, nonetheless.
 
Within a week of seeing the stranger outside of school, Sehun knew of the
trouble that would come ahead if he kept on anticipating their encounter. But
only when he decided to put an end to this by informing his father of the
matter at hand, things had to go really south.
 
On Monday, he permitted the rider to have one last session of wooing, although
he wouldn't deny that there was an ulterior motive to this. The moment he
stepped past the school gates, the tall, tanned, perfectly-built man dumped the
cigarette to the ground and plunged his hands into his tight jeans' pockets
before crossing the road. Paralyzed for a second upon seeing the guy
approaching him, Sehun's mind went blank. He should run away. He should avoid
any confrontation with this gangster. But instead, he held his ground, staring
at the wild-burgundy-haired guy striding towards him.
 
"Hey." he said, stopping before Sehun. Holy Lord... He simply took Sehun's
breath away with a single syllable. There was a huge distance between them, but
even so, he could see how sexy the man's face and body were.
 
What was he even doing, trying to talk to a ruffian?! Gripping his backpack's
strap, Sehun quickly started to walk away.
 
"Hey, hold on." a sudden grasp on his arm hauled him to turn. Gasping, Sehun
pulled his arm free and scowled at the guy. "I'm not gonna kidnap you, don't
worry." he laughed. "My name's Kai. And yours?"
 
Sehun kept mum.
 
Kai arched a brow and brought a finger to Sehun's name tag on his blazer. "Oh
Sehun. I like you." he blurted out and Sehun could only blink in return. "So,
in case if you're thinking about saying no, you should know that I do some
people who would very helpful in kidnapping." with a smirk and a wink, he spun
around before strutting back to his Honda CBR 1000, leaving Sehun to gape with
both awe and fear behind him.
 
What an outrageous rowdy...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
A handful of months passed and Kai did not cease in following Sehun like a
persistent stalker. From the moment Sehun was done with school to the minute he
entered his house which was situated not too far from the school's compound,
Kai trailed him, sometimes on bike, sometimes on foot. Either way, he didn't
approach. And Sehun, on the other hand, never took the courage to tell him off.
A part of him yearned for Kai to talk to him again. To approach him. To do
something which will spark things brighter between them. After waking up in the
morning, the first thing he thought about was Kai. The whole time he was in
school was spend anticipating meeting Kai after school. And upon reaching home,
he often spent the rest of the afternoon in the bathroom, getting off. The
thrill was overwhelming. Kai was an awfully bad influence. If he were able to
spend so much time following Sehun, he couldn't have a job, right? The tattoos,
the piercings, the rude words he shared with his fellow riders, all suggested
that Kai could not be a decent person. And yet, Sehun was smitten. No one had
ever paid him the kind of attention Kai had.
 
But perhaps, Kai would get tired sooner or later.
 
However, Sehun was proved wrong that particular day.
 
"You're seriously not going to complain him, Sehun?" asked Tao as Sehun hurried
for the gate while anxiously stuffing his book in his school bag.
 
"He hasn't done anything but follow me around."
 
"He might be a potential baby-napper." Lay suggested.
 
"Thanks." he flashed a mocking grin.
 
But before he could even reach the gate, he was brought to a stop by the
congesting crowd that swarmed the entrance. "What's going on?" Tao murmured
before Sehun heard a cacophonous shriek, followed by fade grunts and thumps.
 
"He got into trouble with a street gang." someone said. "They've called the
police."
 
"Let me through." he frantically pushed past the students and gushed out of the
crowd only to find Kai and his gang rounding his lab partner, Jino, who was
curled into a ball on the ground, trying to protect himself from the kicking
and stomping. "Stop!" without even thinking for second, Sehun dropped his
school bag and sprinted across the road. Cries and screams broke from Jino, but
no one even dared Ferociously grabbing Kai's shirt by the arm, he shoved him
back and that was when Kai raised his fist, aiming for his face, but he
immediately stopped himself upon discerning that it was Sehun.
 
"Wait. Hold it." Kai ordered the others and as soon as they stopped, Sehun
crashed to his knees with tears welling up in his eyes and pulled Jino into his
arms. His face was completely bloodied with blood oozing out of his nose and
mouth. From a distance, Sehun could hear the police siren wailing.
 
Jolting up with rage filling his chest, he shoved Kai back with all every ounce
of strength that he had. "What is your problem?!" he screamed, but his eyes
were glistening with tears.
 
"My problem? He's the guy you're hanging out with these days, right? I told him
to stay away and poor fucker challenged me to fight him." Kai scoffed.
 
"So you gang up to fight him? Real man of you."
 
Kai's eyebrows pulled into a glower. "I'm gonna hurt a lot of people if you say
no, Sehun."
 
"I do love you, okay?! Is that enough?! You don't really give me much of a
choice to say no and I don't think I want to say no!" only when he had vented
out did he realize what he had blurted.
 
Kai gawked at him with wide eyes but the attention was quickly averted with the
police vehicle arriving. Just when Sehun reached down to help Jino to his feet,
Kai and the rest of the aggressors were handcuffed before they were harshly
hauled away by the cops.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Sehun had fallen in love with Kai under the wrong circumstances at the age of
16. By the time he turned 17, Kai had become his world, his life and his
breath. Everything about Kai appealed to him. His rowdiness, his roughness, his
bad nature. And most of all, he was convinced that Kai did not only love him,
but was loyal to him. Who wouldn't fall in love with such a sexy bad boy...
Sehun just had a type and as a teenager, he had fallen for the wrong type.
 
"Why doesn't your mother let you stay out late?" Kai asked, gently squeezing
Sehun's hand, swinging it as they traipsed through the partly dark tunnel. Kai
would be the only reason Sehun would skip school for.
 
"What kind of question is that? Which mother would let her 17-year-old child
stay out late?"
 
Kai shrugged. "My mother did. Well, that bitch was too busy sleeping around."
 
Sehun ground his teeth, lowering his head. "Don't say things like that, Kai."
 
"Truth sounds harsh, huh?" he pulled his hand away from Sehun's and snaked his
arm around Sehun's waist. "Can I tell you another truth?" his whisper against
Sehun's neck echoed through the tunnel.
 
"What is it?" asking the question without giggling embarrassingly was almost as
difficult as trying to not to stare at Kai's abs whenever he lifted his shirt
to wipe the sweat of his face.
 
The next thing Sehun knew was Kai slamming him against the wall of the tunnel
and raising his hands over his head. "You're so beautiful." he breathed,
locking Sehun's wrists with one hand while the other was latched on a side of
Sehun's waist.
 
With his cheeks burning, Sehun licked his lips and swallowed when Kai tugged at
his school tie before ripping it away. "I... should... go."
 
"Don't worry. No one's here." Kai assured him as his fingers steadily
unfastened the top two buttons of Sehun's shirt. Stroking Sehun's exposed
collarbones, he earned himself a subtle moan from the younger. "Don't you want
me to make a mess of you, baby?" he hissed up Sehun's cheek before kissing it.
Sehun's stomach knotted. Kai had been relentlessly trying to coax Sehun into
having sex even if he had promised to put everything on hold until Sehun was
done with high school.
 
"Kai... Stop." Sehun mumbled in a shaky voice.
 
Kai released his wrists only to work on undoing Sehun's belt as his lips
peppered Sehun's neck with sloppy kisses.
 
"Stop." he brought his hands to Kai's shoulders to push him away but Kai halted
him by smashing their mouths together. Sehun always went weak whenever Kai's
lips touched his. He always almost gave in to Kai but then he would be slapped
with the possible consequences of sleeping with Kai right now. Whenever Kai
kissed him, he completely claimed Sehun's mouth to be his. "K-Kai.." Sehun
moaned into his mouth but Kai certainly didn't look he was going to stop.
 
When he slid a hand over Sehun's crotch and grabbed him between his legs, that
was when Sehun lost it. He can't permit this to go any further. With a brutal
force, he pushed Kai back and when Kai advanced again, his palm struck a side
of his boyfriend's face with a merciless hit. "I said stop!" his cry boomed in
the tunnel, reverberating the noise.
 
Dumbstruck, Kai stared at him as if he were seeing a ghost. His cheek had gone
red but it didn't look like he was worried about the pain. Sehun noticed Kai
clenching his fists as his face turned vicious. Without so much of a word, Kai
walked away from there, probably knowing that if he stayed any longer, he would
hurt Sehun.
 
"Kai." Sehun called after him but only to no avail. In the end, he didn't
bother to chase him. It wasn't his fault. It was Kai's fault.
 
And the next day, Sehun resorted to moping all day long, staying in bed. Not
even a message came from Kai. That night, after finally giving up on his pride,
Sehun texted Kai, asking him to come over since his parents were away for at
least a couple of days.
 
He doubted Kai would give in that easily but when the doorbell rang, he knew
that no matter what, Sehun would be the only one Kai would give in to.
 
Upon opening the door, they stared at one another for a long moment and Sehun
could not help but bite his lip with blood rushing to his face and loins. Kai
looked like he had just woken up. Could be, since he had the habit of sleeping
at random hours of the day. His hair was a mess and he was wearing that sexy
sleepy face as he brought a hand to the door frame and leaned forward. He had
pulled on a black V-neck T-shirt with a pair of ripped black jeans.
 
Gulping, Sehun turned into the house. "Come in." he muttered shyly and only
turned to face Kai when he heard the door closing.
 
"So. This is the rich shit you live in." Kai sighed, glancing around the
hallway.
 
"I'm sorry."
 
The words caught Kai's attention immediately. He cocked a brow at Sehun in
disbelief. "I'm the one who should be apologizing."
 
"I'm the one who hit you."
 
"Yeah." he scoffed. "That was a surprise."
 
Sehun dropped his eyes to his cold feet, clenching and releasing his hands in
trepidation. "Do you... do you... want to see my room?"
 
Kai didn't reply and when Sehun brought his head up to face him, he was looking
at him like a predator preying for a victim. His impassive and stoic face was
almost as ready as hunter to take down a stag. Sehun quietly led the way up the
stairs and felt Kai's eyes burning his back.
 
"Hm." Kai hummed, entering Sehun's room. "Now I see how crappy I must look like
with you."
 
"Stop. I don't care about what people think."
 
Kai's lips hinted a slight smirk. "Really?"
 
"My... parents... won't be back tonight." Sehun almost died before he could
bring the words out.
 
"So?"
 
"So." he advanced a few paces and threw his arms around Kai's neck before
brushing his lips against Kai's cheek, which he had slapped. Filling the cheek
with full kisses, he felt Kai's arms grappling his body and his lips quivering
against his neck. "I want you to make a mess of me tonight." he whispered into
Kai's ear and the next second, Kai hoisted him up and wrapped Sehun's legs
around his waist before ramming Sehun's back against a wall. Their mouths
crashed hungrily as Sehun's fingers bestially gripped and pulled Kai's hair.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
That night both the best thing that had ever happened.
 
All night long, Sehun had been Kai just as much as Kai had been his. Sehun had
experienced something so painfully beautiful which he never had before. Kai
knew when to be rough and when to be gentle. Their bodies had emerged as one
with Kai buried so deep inside Sehun. Nothing had ever been so beautiful in
Sehun's life before.
 
 
Following that night, he began to skip school way more often. And when the news
reached his parents, that was when his nightmare began. Everything had been so
beautiful prior to that. But it had just been Sehun's delusional love for Kai
that had clouded his mind and blinded his eyes. Everything that had been so
beautiful thus far turned pitch black. And his parents weren't the reason for
it. It was simply because Sehun began to realize the harsh world he would live
in for the sake of his love for Kai.
 
 
10 months... and counting.
 
Sehun peered out the window of his bedroom, leaning his side against the window
frame with his arms hugging his shivering body. The night was getting colder
and darker. But at least, it seemed to have more zest in it than he did. It was
lively in spite of the darkness. By now, he was used to the darkness that took
his life over. The black ocean that had fallen upon his fate. The misfortune
that answered to the name Kai.
 
Pulling himself away from the window, Sehun scrubbed his face tiredly. It had
been an exhausting day at the cafe. Who would have thought a few years back
that his future would be so unfortunate... Everything had a price. The price
Sehun was paying for choosing Kai over everything else was a value that he
would have to pay for the rest of his life.
 
After changing his T-shirt, Sehun lifelessly plodded out of his room and
stopped at the hallway to hold his pounding his head. Shaking it a little, he
proceeded to the kitchen to grab some aspirin. Gripping the edge of the sink
counter, he grimaced at the mess the kitchen was in. It was bad enough that he
was forced to live in this shoe box of an apartment for Kai. The least Kai
could do was keep the place tidy. But that, too, had become accustomed to Sehun
by now. Everything that he made was meant to be destroyed by Kai apparently. He
had not complained. He had never complained. He thought that with time, he will
learn to live with the little things he had. The only thing he needed and
wanted was Kai. But there was only so much he could endure when Kai, himself
was extremely nonchalant these days, which made Sehun wonder just about how
little love Kai still garnered for him.
 
Although the house was stocked with necessities, Sehun knew that those things
could not have been purchased with money earned in a proper way. There was
nothing proper about Kai. Which was why he decided to get his own job. But he
didn't know that Kai would take him for granted because of that.
 
As the water glided down his throat, Sehun recalled the days when he first
moved in with Kai. Everything had been so wonderful. This small apartment was
not as suffocating as it was now. It only made the distance between them
smaller. But now, Kai barely slept on the same bed. Most of the time, he was
not even home. And when he was, he was either spending time with Chanyeol or
passed out. Even thinking about it made Sehun clench his jaw as his hand
tightened around the glass.
 
The bang of the door startled him out of the blue. Jumping a little, he dumped
the glass into the sink and hurried out of the kitchen only to find Kai
chortling and giggling like a mad man with his arm draped around Chanyeol's
neck. A bloody scratch on Kai's cheek was a like a stake through Sehun's heart.
He had been street fighting again.
 
"He's just so fucking stupid!" Kai guffawed, clapping a hand on Chanyeol's
chest.
 
Rolling his eyes, Chanyeol harshly pulled Kai to stand straight before his eyes
darted to Sehun. "Hey, Sehun." he muttered with a pair of colouring cheeks.
"He's..."
 
"Heeeey, Sehun!" Kai chimed and tried to pull his arm from Chanyeol's neck,
lurching forward for Sehun.
 
"Stop it, Kai." Chanyeol growled, hauling him back and forced him to stand
still. "He's drunk, Sehun."
 
Grinding his teeth, Sehun threw Chanyeol a scowl. "I can see that."
 
"I'm not drunk." Kai shoved his friend away and dragged his feet to Sehun
before curling his arms around Sehun's waist and laid his head on Sehun's
shoulder. He reeked of alcohol. The stench was not something Sehun was ever
going to get used to. He pushed his boyfriend away and attempted to move away
but stopped when Kai caught his arm. "I'm not drunk, Sehun." he whined, cupping
a side of Sehun's face and began to kiss his cheek and the corner of his jaw.
 
Chanyeol cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "Stop, Kai." Sehun
grumbled over the smell that choked his throat.
 
"Why? Don't you wanna get screwed tonight?" Kai kept on kissing his neck even
with Sehun wriggling to free himself.
 
"I'll just see myself out." Chanyeol murmured and turned on his heel.
 
"You don't have to leave, Chanyeol." Kai snickered, grappling an arm around
Sehun's waist and slipped a hand into Sehun's shirt. "You can just stay and
watch him whine like a bitch." he bowed his head to lick Sehun's earlobe.
 
Sehun closed his eyes and heaved in a long breath. He should really get used to
Kai treating him like this in front of his friends. "Please leave, Chanyeol."
he begged under his breath and Chanyeol instantly nodded before leaving the
apartment.
 
Pulling away from Kai, Sehun closed the door and balled his hands into fists,
weaving his way to the kitchen to tidy the mess. "Babe." Kai called, taking
hold of Sehun's wrist and when Sehun pulled his wrist free with a merciless
glare, Kai's face turned cruel as well. "What's your problem now?"
 
"You're drunk, Kai." he spat through his grit teeth and turned his back to Kai,
advancing for the kitchen. "Go and sleep."
 
"Whoa. What's with your attitude?"
 
Sehun spun around at once. "My attitude? You should correct yours first before
talking about mine!"
 
"Me?" Kai arched a brow. "Well, what's wrong with my attitude?"
 
"Well, I'll need a whole day to list them down." he turned around but was
forced to a halt when Kai harshly grabbed his shirt at the shoulder and hauled
him to turn.
 
"You have a problem with my attitude now? I thought it was the attitude you
fell in love with."
 
"Exactly. I fell in love with that attitude. But I no longer am in love with
it." he hit Kai's hand off his shirt and that caught Kai by surprise as his
drunk eyes widened. "Leave me alone, Kai."
 
"Leave you alone?!" his hand came up to clutch Sehun's neck before he was
slammed back on a wall. For a moment, Sehun's head spun due to the impact of
the wall and Kai's hand choking the air out of his throat. The hand climbed up
to clutch Sehun's jaw. "You're fucking with me, Sehun? You live in my house."
 
"Yeah." he hissed. "But I'm the one who feeds you."
 
Kai drew back before his hand struck Sehun's cheek, forcing him to stumble side
ways. "Well, I feed your sorry ass for that, don't I?"
 
Sehun's body fell weak at Kai's words more than the blow on his face. "W-What?"
 
"Oh don't think you're doing anything for fucking free. I fuck you as you wish,
don't I? That should be enough for your bitching hole."
 
Sehun clenched his eyes, trying to swallow the tears as he digested Kai's
words.
 
"If you get another guy, you'd go around letting him fuck you in the ass, too,
right?"
 
"That's enough, Kai. Go and fuck yourself." he started for the room, shoving
past Kai.
 
"You listen to me." he grabbed hold of Sehun's arm and yanked him so hard
before pushing him onto the worn-out couch. "Nobody would want a wasted trash
like you, do you understand?" he mounted Sehun, sitting on his stomach to pin
him down to the couch.
 
"Please, Kai." the plea came out as a whisper with beads of tears trickling
down the corners of his eyes. "Let me go."
 
"Shut the fuck up, Sehun." he inclined his head and rammed his lips against
Sehun's, shoving his tongue into Sehun's opened and panting mouth. Protesting
in bestial moans, Sehun brought his hands to Kai's chest to push him away
before Kai took hold of his wrists and pinned them to the armrest over Sehun's
head. Most of the time, Sehun just let Kai do whatever he wanted. Making love
had become extremely scarce between them. But those times, when Kai was sober,
the way he made love to Sehun was one of the reasons that made Sehun stay all
these months. Another reason would be that Sehun was the only thing close to a
family that Kai ever had.
 
"Kai!" Sehun gasped and bit Kai's lower lip before he tasted the iron on his
tongue.
 
That earned him another slap, but much lighter, on the face. "Do that one more
time and I'll kill you." Kai growled and forced another round of rough kissing.
With his lips abusing Sehun's, Sehun felt Kai's cock hardening against his
stomach. He recalled the first time they made love when he moved in with Kai.
The way he hang onto Kai. The amount of love shared between them. The passion
and lust that drove them to the edge. This was the man Sehun had fallen in love
with. This was the man he happily went around the city on the bike, hugging him
tight. He had spent breakfast, lunch, dinner on this man's lap. But all the
feelings had died. He loved Kai. He still did. But he was not sure that Kai
loved him anymore. Or to say the least, if Kai had ever loved at him at all.
 
"Please, Kai." he begged in a sob with rivulets of tears staining his cheeks
when Kai got off him. He wasn't sure what he was begging for. For Kai to stop?
No. For Kai to tell him that he still did love him? With a brutal force, Kai
pushed Sehun to lie on his stomach and pulled his pants down, rendering Sehun
half naked. Burying his face into the couch, Sehun broke out into cries and
sorrowful sobs as he felt Kai sliding a finger into him. A part of him wanted
Kai to ruin him, destruct him. That punishment would be far more better than
knowing that Kai had fallen out of love for him. Kai pushed Sehun's T-shirt up
his back and filled the small of his back with angry kisses, trailing them up
Sehun's spine while his fingers scissored his opening. Muffling his moans and
cries into the couch, Sehun gripped hard on the armrest before he finally gave
in. His body went limp and soft under Kai. "I love you, Kai." he whispered
through the agony of his burning throat. Kai paused for a moment and everything
slowed down around them.
 
Then he slid an arm under Sehun's body, curling it around Sehun's waist and
hoisted it up, pulling Sehun to a kneeling position. Sehun only hid his face
deeper into the couch before Kai grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged at
it. Smashing their mouths together again, he whimpered into the open-mouthed
kiss as Kai latched his hands on the his hips. Kai's tongue licked every inch
of Sehun's mouth, claiming it as his own. "Don't make me mad again." Kai hissed
against his lips and let Sehun's head drop to the couch again as he knelt
between Sehun's knees.
 
"Ughh.." the younger whimpered when he felt Kai's cockhead rubbing his
stretched hole. "Hnng.." he helplessly pressed his lips on the couch, wanting
to stifle every moan.Gripping hard on Sehun's hips, Kai pushed the head of his
cock in. Kai had not lost anything yet. Sehun on the other hand had lost the
comfort of his home, his future, and everything by falling for this rowdy at
such young age. But even so, without Kai, he didn't know how much happier he'd
be either. Despite all the hard times, sleeping on Kai's chest gave him such
peace. But still, he can't keep this going. He can't have Kai take him for
granted anymore.
 
"Fuck." Kai groaned, slapping Sehun's ass as he fully pushed his length in.
With a merciless force, he gripped Sehun's cock and began to pump it.
 
"K-Kai..." Sehun panted out, reaching a hand back to hold onto Kai's hip as Kai
started to thrust. "Do..don't..."
 
Kai immediately pulled out of him only to turn him to lie on his back and slid
back in after spreading Sehun's legs apart. Arching his back off the couch,
Sehun hung onto Kai's body as Kai claimed his mouth again, smothering him with
vicious kisses. He had no fight left in him. "Fuck, Sehun." Kai snarled into
his mouth, picking up the pace of his thrusts. It was a pain within pleasure.
Sehun's heart was suffering more of a tacit pain rather than physical. He
remembered the times where Kai used to kiss him senseless without bothering the
audience, anywhere, anytime. He recalled those days where Kai worshiped him,
following him wherever he went. For a short period of time, Sehun had feared of
talking to any other guys other than Kai. But that was what made him realize
that he was Kai's and Kai's alone. Unfortunately, Kai had never even hinted
that he was just Sehun's.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Completely spent and exhausted, Sehun woke up on the couch and stared at the
greyish ceiling with his body covered by a blanket. His parents had been right.
"Go with him and you'll regret it", had been their exact words. He had thrown
all of his life away for Kai. Pulling an arm over his eyes, he blocked the
sunlight away. His life had turned topsy-turvy within a month after running
away with Kai. They just shared very distinct lifestyles and goals. It was all
fun and games when they were still dating. Every touch that Kai laid on him was
like fireworks. Now, it was like needles.
 
He drew his arm away when he heard the bedroom's door open. "Sehun?" he heard
Kai's sleepy and hoarse voice. Pushing himself upright to a sitting position,
Sehun hung his head as Kai walked into the living room. For a long moment,
neither of them shared a single word before Kai sighed, "I'm sorry."
 
"Keep your sorry." he jolted up and winced at the lingering pain on the lower
part of his body.
 
"Baby." Kai called when Sehun began to limp past him, towards the bedroom.
 
"I can't do this anymore, Kai." he blurted out.
 
"I know. I was drunk, I just... It won't happen again."
 
"No, it will. Every time you promise something, you never keep it." his words
rendered Kai frozen for a minute. Their eyes were locked as Kai gaped at him.
"I'm leaving, Kai." Sehun uttered under his breath at last.
 
"What?" his voice was even lower than Sehun's as his eyebrows knitted.
 
"You and I... It's never going to work. I can't be happy with you." he heaved
in a shaky breath. "Or without you." he stopped himself to blink the tears
away. "I didn't know that living with you without any support from my side
would be this difficult, Kai."
 
"What the fuck are you talking about, Sehun?" he tightened his fists. "You fell
in love with me knowing about me!"
 
"I did. But I don't think I can live like this anymore. Things will only get
worse. You forced yourself onto me last night."
 
"Is that what this is all about? I said I'm sorry!"
 
"That's not what this is about, Kai. You've done far worse things, trust me.
You don't even care about me. Cause if you did, you will stop all these illicit
things that you're doing. Do you have any idea how scared I am for you? Worried
every single second of whether you'll home tonight or not. But when you do come
home, you don't say one nice word to me."
 
"Sehun, I'm drunk half of the time!"
 
"Exactly. I honestly didn't know you were such a heavy drinker. Or else, I
would have rethought my decision of eloping with you."
 
Kai's face wilted completely as stared at Sehun like he had seen a ghost.
"You're kidding, right, Sehun?"
 
"No, I'm not. We're done."
 
"You're fucking breaking up with me after all these years?!"
 
"I was a boy who fell in love with the first man who showed me a small sign of
love. I didn't know any better back then, Kai. I was 16. And by the time I
realized how difficult it would be to be with you, I was far too deep in love
with you. I threw away everything for you. And if you can't change yourself
just a little for me, there's no point in trying to pretend that everything's
okay."
 
"How do you expect me to change myself? This is how I am."
 
"Then you're gonna have to let me go." he said as much and started for the room
with tears rolling down his cheeks. All the while he packed his things, he half
hoped for Kai to come into the bedroom and promise him things that he will
never keep again. He wanted Kai to at least try and stop him with false hopes.
But Kai didn't. Instead, he was on the couch with his face buried his hands
when Sehun sauntered out of the bedroom with his luggage. "Kai."
 
"Just fucking leave." he hissed without bringing his head up.
 
 
 
* * *
 
 
 
"Do you know something?" suppressing a giggle, Sehun questioned Kai as they
walked into the alley.
 
"What?"
 
"It's my birthday today."
 
Kai stopped on his pace and blinked his eyes at his boyfriend. "You're joking."
 
When Sehun shook his head with a sheepish grin, Kai groaned loudly before
crouching halfway down and lifted Sehun into his arms, bridal style. "Kai! Put
me down!"
 
"Why didn't you tell me?!"
 
Startled and shuddering, Sehun clung onto Kai's neck. "I just did! Put me
down."
 
"What are you, 17 now?"
 
"Yes, put me down, please. I'm afraid of heights."
 
Laughing, Kai lowered him back to the ground and cupped the back of Sehun's
neck. "Happy Birthday, baby." he whispered and tilted his head to the side
before kissing Sehun full on mouth. "Now. We need to celebrate." he pulled the
paint can out of his back pocket and started for the wall. "Here." he tossed
Sehun to can only to receive a baffled look from Sehun.
 
"Uh.. I don't vandalize public properties."
 
"God! Don't be a party pooper. Go on. Do whatever you want." he waved his hand
at the wall of the alley.
 
"Kai, I can't even draw stick men."
 
"Then, c'mere." he ordered and when Sehun approached him, he moved to stand
behind Sehun before wrapping his arms around Sehun's waist, pressing Sehun's
back to his chest. Facing the wall, Kai took the cap of the spray can and
curled his hand around Sehun's that was holding the can. His palm was pinned
against Sehun's stomach as his lips and breath grazed Sehun's ear. "How
about..." he breathed, forming butterflies in Sehun's stomach. As he raised
Sehun's hand and the can to the wall, the younger heavily leaned on Kai's
chest. Kai slowly started to paint the wall, forcing Sehun's hand to move with
his.
 
"Oh my god, Kai." Sehun snickered once Kai was done drawing 'Kai loves Sehun'
on the wall. "You're so corny! Who even does those things anymore?!" he
guffawed and turned around to face Kai, throwing his arms over Kai's shoulders.
 
"Then... should I make something that goes along the line 'Kai wants to fuck
Sehun?'"
 
"Not yet, okay?" Sehun muttered, dragging a finger along Kai's jawline which
was lightly covered in scruff. "We promised we'll wait."
 
"Don't make me wait too long."
 
 
 
 
* * *
 
 
All the while he waited for the door to be opened, Sehun drowned in agitation.
The moment his mother got the door, his heart sank to his stomach. "Mom."
 
He expected his mother to be shocked, but she remained cool as she crossed her
arms over her chest. "You're back earlier than I thought you'd be."
 
"Mom..."
 
"What do you need?" she asked before eyeing the luggage. "Ah."
 
"I'm sorry, mom." he swallowed the lump in his throat. "I should have listened
to you."
 
"Yes, you should have, son." she sighed. "Have you left him?"
 
Sehun gave a curt nod as his chest burned. "I'm not going back to him."
 
"Then come inside."
 
 
 
* * *
 
 
 
"Why are you such a prick?!" Chanyeol's roar boomed all over the apartment. For
some odd reason, Sehun found the guy weird. He looked much different than the
men Kai usually hung out with. But this was the first time Sehun had ever met
Chanyeol. So maybe, he might grew to like him sooner or later.
 
"Take the loss like a fucking man, dude." Kai replied, preparing himself for
another round of the car racing game on the console. Sehun stood behind the
wall of the kitchen entrance, eyeing them both with a small smile etched on his
face. "I'm gonna beat your ass again."
 
"Let's see about that." Chanyeol shot Sehun a look and a grin which sent a
shudder down Sehun's body, but he managed to reply the smile. Although Kai did
spend a large portion of his free time doing nothing productive, it was fun to
see him playing video games with his friend, who surprisingly looked like a
nice man. Almost.
 
As soon as the round started, both of them kept their entire focus on the TV
and when Kai lost, a loud and cacophonous cry burst in the living room. "Fuck
no!" Kai yelped and hurled the controller down to the floor before giving
Chanyeol a brutal shove.
 
"Take the loss like a fucking man, Kai!" Chanyeol broke into victorious laughs
as Kai's disappointed face turned irritated and angry. Leaning heavily on the
back of the couch, he glanced over at Sehun and rolled his eyes. Smirking,
Sehun walked over to him and picked up the controller from the ground before
taking his seat on Kai's lap. "Oh, you wanna play?" Chanyeol asked as Kai
swirled his arms around Sehun. Biting his lip, Sehun nodded. "I hope you'll be
able to handle failure better than your boyfriend."
 
"Knock him down, my baby gamer." Kai whispered up Sehun's neck, pulling him to
slump on his chest.
 
 
 
* * *
 
 
It was not the same anymore. His parents were nice to him. They had not spoken
a word about Kai ever since Sehun came back a week ago. But still, Sehun felt
out of place as if this weren't his home anymore. Talks of his future studies
were mainly the focus from the moment he stepped into the house again and all
the while, Sehun reminisced his beautiful moments with Kai.
 
"Do you know that both Lay and Tao got into national universities?" said his
father when they were clearing the table after dinner.
 
"I heard." Sehun murmured.
 
"But don't worry. You'll be going to UK soon." his mother threw in. "Your
father has already applied for your visa."
 
"Your applications were accepted in the college as well." his father added.
 
The doorbell rang out of the sudden and Sehun quickly volunteered to get it
just to escape from the conversation. When he got the door, it felt like a kick
right to his stomach. "Kai." he gasped.
 
"I know what you're gonna say." Kai blurted out.
 
"Shh." he glanced back to reaffirm that his parents weren't peering. "What are
you doing here?!"
 
"Sehun, who is it?" his mother voice echoed from the dining hall.
 
"Uh... just a beggar, mom!"
 
Kai's eyebrows furrowed into a scowl. "I can't live without you."
 
"You're gonna have to learn to."
 
"Sehun, I... I'm sorry."
 
"We're past apologizing, Kai."
 
"I'm not asking you to come back. But just... let's start afresh."
 
I can't. I'm going to leave, okay? I want to leave."
 
"Leave where?"
 
"Leave here for UK."
 
Kai's face went pale instantly. "What?"
 
"I already lost my future once, Kai. I thought you'd be my future. But..."
 
"Fine. Then go. But will you come back?"
 
"No. I don't want to come back, Kai. There are so many things I wish to
forget."
 
Kai nodded and looked away for a second, sinking his teeth into his lower lip.
"I... got a job today. And I wanted to let you know."
 
"What?"
 
"You wanted me to change. I'll try. And... if you did come back, just know that
I'll be waiting."
 
"Kai."
 
"So, this is goodbye?"
 
Sehun kept mum and when Kai didn't receive a reply, he took a step forward and
skimmed along Sehun's cheek with his fingers before brushing their lips
together. "Is it a promise you're willing to keep?" Sehun exhaled against Kai's
trembling lips.
 
"Yes. Have your future built bright as you have dreamed. And then come back to
fulfill my dream, okay? I'll try to be less of an asshole." he smiled and Sehun
knew that instant that he was never going to forget Kai or his smiles no matter
what.
 
"Sehun?!" his mother cried.
 
"Coming, mom!" Sehun cried back before facing Kai again. "Goodbye, Kai."
 
"Bye, Sehun." he retreated with the smirk on his face. "Thank you for giving
this asshole a future to look forward to, Sehun. I might not be your future,
you're always mine. But perhaps... I loved you wrong. I will love you right
when you come back!" he chimed with a wide grin and waved Sehun goodbye before
climbing onto his bike.
 
Shaking his head and smiling like an idiot, Sehun closed the door. Well,
perhaps this time, he will love Sehun right. And perhaps, Sehun's future would
always be Kai as well, no matter the course. Only this time, Sehun was going to
take the right path to reach his destination.
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