Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2613281.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural, The_Vampire_Diaries_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Caroline_Forbes/Dean_Winchester, Elena_Gilbert/Damon_Salvatore_
      (mentioned)
  Character:
      Dean_Winchester, Caroline_Forbes, Elizabeth_Forbes, Sam_Winchester
  Additional Tags:
      Adult_Content, Explicit_Sexual_Content, mentions_of_abuse, Goodbyes,
      Reunions, Secrets, high_school_sweethearts, Flashbacks, Long_Shot, Heavy
      Angst, Romance, Drama
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-11-14 Words: 13874
****** Losing You (Was Something I Always Did So Well) ******
by herprinceofdarkness
Summary
     Dean and Caroline were high school sweethearts before Dean left with
     no goodbyes. After three years, they run into each other again. Will
     they still be able to connect? What secrets are revealed?
     /Draws loosely from the SPN episode, After School Special. Set during
     TVD post S4 and SPN S1.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
Dean honestly had no recollection of where they were when he and Sam stopped at
the small gas station on the outskirts of town. He had been around the country
so many times that all these places pretty much seemed the same unless you
looked closely enough.
But then he saw the red and white poster stuck inside the window that read
Congratulations, Mystic Falls HS Graduates. And his heart stuttered.
He hadn’t thought about his time in Mystic Falls for months. Years, even. When
Dean left, he had purposely tried to put it behind him for good. But being back
here immediately let in the floodgate of memories.
He automatically began driving Sam and himself to the Grill, knowing it was the
only decent restaurant in town. Driving in silence, he couldn’t stop himself
from thinking about her. Would he run into her today? Did he even want to?
Dean was caught between his growing excitement and anxiety as he parked the
Impala on the street. He didn’t know what to do or even what he wanted.
He didn’t have to worry about that for long, though. Opening his door and
climbing out of his seat, he looked up - and there she was.
                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As Caroline walked out of the Grill, she tried to dig her car keys out of her
pink purse while simultaneously answering her phone before it stopped ringing.
Seeing that it was her mother, she breathlessly greeted her with a hello. It
was a bright, sunny day in July as well as forty two days since her high school
graduation. And forty two days since her and her mother quietly started their
search to find Tyler and bring him back home to Mystic Falls.
She was trying not to get discouraged, but so far they had found a whole pile
of nothing. Even after using her mother’s police resources and tracking down
every single wolf pack she could find, they still didn’t have any leads to
where he might be. He’d gotten rid of his car, cell phone, laptop, and anything
else perceivably traceable. He wasn’t in contact with any other wolves she
could find or really any other supernaturals for that matter. Although she knew
Tyler had originally gone through all these precautions to run from Klaus, it
was making it pretty hard for anyone else to find him either. She was quickly
running out of ideas. How could you find someone who didn’t want to be found?
To be honest, lately Caroline was feeling less like she was looking for her
boyfriend and more like she was chasing a ghost. Was Tyler even her boyfriend
anymore, anyway? It hadn’t felt like it in a long while. She still loved him so
much, but their whole relationship was tinged with danger and sadness. They
never had much of a chance to simply be happy and together.
Did she want to go back to that? No. She didn’t want to live half a
relationship waiting for all the drama and danger and death to finally be over
anymore.
Maybe she just needed a nice, long break from boys. Especially from all the
weird Klaus drama…
She shook her head to clear her errant thoughts and refocused on her mom. “So,
what’s up? Have you found anything?”
“No. I’m sorry, honey,” she heard her mom sigh on the other side end of the
line. She sounded overworked and tired, which wasn’t particularly uncommon, but
Caroline felt badly about adding to Liz’s workload.
“It’s okay, mom,” she reassured the sheriff as she finally approached her car.
“I know how hard you’ve been trying. I really appreciate it.”
“Maybe we could try something else?” her voice buzzed hopefully in her ear. “I
know you said you checked with all the wolves you could find, but is it
possible he could have contacted a witch? Maybe for a cloaking spell of some
kind?”
Caroline laughed as she unlocked her Range Rover. “That sounds a little too
much like Harry Potter, mom. But I agree. It’s at least worth checking out. I
mean, we might as well.” This whole thing would be so much easier if Bonnie
hadn’t mysteriously disappeared right after graduation to spend time with her
mom. She could be so much help right now.
Looking up, she startled slightly as she noticed the reflection of a male
figure looming behind her in the car window. “Mom, I’ll call you later,” she
quickly hung up. Caroline looked again at the man through the glass, narrowing
her gaze at her sudden recognition. But no, it couldn’t be? He couldn’t be
here? Her hand tightened on the door handle.
                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dean’s hand tightened on the door handle. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t
want to go in there.
I t’s not that he was nervous really. He had gotten to the point where he
didn’t very much care what people thought of him anymore. He had been through
enough high schools in the past to know it was a new school and new faces, but
essentially the same thing.
Besides, he would only be here a month or two anyway. That’s what dad had said.
Dean sighed. He knew how often his dad took longer on jobs than he expected.
Pushing the door open, he walked to the front of the classroom to meet his new
trigonometry teacher. The lady had terribly dyed red hair, big glasses, and a
very ugly black sweater. He wasn’t a huge fashion guy, but Dean felt sorry for
the old lady. “Class, this is our new student, Dean Winchester,” she announced
brightly. Nobody said anything. He rolled his eyes. “
Would you like to tell us anything about yourself, Dean?” she turned toward him
and asked.
“ Not really, sweetheart,” he smirked. A couple of the kids snickered as she
immediately scowled in his direction. Probably not the best first impression he
could make, but who said he wanted one? He was just here for a little while
until his dad moved them somewhere else. He might as well have some fun.
Once the teacher gestured for him to take a seat, he walked down the center
aisle of desks and suddenly caught sight of a hot blonde. Quickly sliding into
the seat behind her, Dean scanned over her figure. Wearing a white sundress
with a worn-in jean jacket, she looked like one of those teen country singers.
She definitely had nice legs, too. Very toned and tan, he smirked approvingly.
Her blonde curls bounced as she turned her head to murmur over her shoulder,
“You shouldn’t have done that. Mrs. Tanchelli can hold a serious grudge.”
Yeah, well, I’m not the kind of guy that gets afraid of a tiny, old lady,” Dean
grinned lopsidedly, taking in the way her pale blue eyes sparkled at him. Easy.
“Besides, it looks like you guys could use a little more fun around this
joint.”
The blonde let out a soft giggle, clearly agreeing with his statement. But she
flirtatiously shrugged, “It’s not so bad around here.”
"Hmm, really? Well, I’m going to have to change that,” he lifted his eyebrows
roguishly. He watched as she tried to discreetly cross her legs, pressing her
thighs tightly together, as she bit her lip. Even though he was not unused to
this response from girls (his boyish charm had definitely not hurt in that
department), there was something that especially drew him to this girl. She was
like a spark. She seemed to burst with opportunities and adventure and
laughter. She was a breath of fresh air in this dull, creepy town.
"Mr. Winchester!” Mrs. Tanchelli snapped, for the first or fifth time he wasn’t
sure. “I would hate to have to send you to the principal’s office on your first
day. For future reference, I require full attention in my class.”
She paused at his noncommittal grunt and casual posture. She pursed her lips in
distaste. “And where are your books, Mr. Winchester? You won’t be able to pass
trigonometry without them.”
“ Don’t worry, sugar. I won’t be here long enough,” he smarmed, crossing his
arms in front of his chest in a silent challenge. The class was in raucous
laughter as Mrs. Tanchelli let out an exaggerated huff.
Before the classroom died down, Dean leaned over the petite blonde’s shoulder
and whispered, “I never caught your name.”
She tilted her head to meet his green eyes with a small smile. “Caroline.”
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Caroline!” she heard him call out. She closed her eyes momentarily in an
attempt to process everything. That was Dean’s voice. This was real. He was
really here.
She sucked in a deep breath and then turned around. There he was, standing in
front of her in low hanging, dark jeans and a grey v neck. She took in the
sight of him fully, as if he’d disappear right in front of her at any moment.
He still wore the necklace that Sam gave him all those years ago around his
neck, and he still seemed to carry the same charming confidence, albeit now it
seemed like there was a heavy weariness hidden in his eyes. He looked older
than the three years since she’d last seen him like he’d experienced more
darkness than he could handle.
She wondered if he saw the same thing in her eyes when he looked at her.
“Dean! What are you doing here?” she questioned, plastering on a surprised
smile. She wasn’t naive enough to believe that he had just dropped back in for
a visit to see her and their friends, but perhaps he had finally learned of all
the crazy supernatural chaos going on here. Although, if that was true, he was
a little late to the party.
“Just…passing through,” he commented vaguely, a slight hint of a smile at his
lips.
‘Of course,’ she internally scoffed. Like anything could actually go right for
once in her life.
No, she wasn’t the destination, just a stop along the way to somewhere else.
                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“So, how are you? I saw you graduated this year?” Dean asked her, shifting his
weight back and forth.
God, this was awkward. Why was this so awkward? They never used to be awkward
together. They used to be hot and fun and flirty. Yeah, it had been a few
years, but had that much really changed? Dean sighed. Maybe it was weird
because of how things ended between them? But that was so long ago…
“Yeah, I did,” she smiled that bright, brilliant smile he loved so much.
“Finally, you know. It’s great to have the whole world wide open in front of
you. Like, there’s so much I can’t wait to do. So much I want to see.”
Dean couldn’t help thinking about how much of the world, or at least the
country, he’d seen so far and how it was not as beautiful and filled with
potential as she thought it was. It was dark and bloody and scary as shit. But
he wouldn’t tell her that. He wouldn’t crush her dreams and dampen her smile.
Especially since he hadn’t seen it in so long.
“…What about you?” Caroline cocked her head slightly to the side, her eyes
hesitant. “What have you been up to?”
Dean pursed his lips, thinking about the best way to answer. It’s not like he
could tell her he’d been fighting demons, vampires, shape shifters, and other
baddies all while searching for his missing father. She might faint or
something.
He internally sighed. He and Sammy were no closer to finding their father or
the yellow-eyed demon than when they started, and Dean didn’t know what to do.
With Sam’s help hunting and researching were going a little smoother, but Dean
knew that he was still devastated and reeling from Jessica’s death. He tried
not to show it too bad, but Dean could tell. He needed help. They both did.
They just really needed to find their dad.
“Just been doing a lot of traveling,” he nodded, finally settling on that. “Me
and Sammy have been driving cross-country. It’s been interesting.”
Her eyes lit up in intrigue at learning this, and he couldn’t help but quirk
his lips up in a small smile in return.
“That’s so cool, Dean! You have to tell me all about the places you’ve been,”
Caroline insisted, her dainty hand coming up to grasp his forearm. He
immediately felt the electricity run through her skin straight into his. Even
such a little gesture still brought up so many memories of them together. His
eyes fluttered closed momentarily as he envisioned her wrapped around him, her
skin rubbing vigorously against his, his name crying from her kiss-swollen
lips… When he looked back up into her eyes, he could tell she felt it too. Her
cheeks had grown a pinkish tinge and she quickly snapped her hand back to her
side.
“Would you maybe want to get a coffee or something? Catch up?”
“Sure!” she acquiesced, “but what about Sam..? Do you guys have somewhere to
go?”
“Nah, he’s doing his own thing. We don’t have to be back on the road for a
while,” he shrugged nonchalantly, like he didn’t mind either way if she said
yes. Like he wasn’t yearning for more time with her.
“Alright,” she nodded, “Let’s go.”
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Let’s go,” she turned to him as the school bell rang, signaling the period was
over. She began gathering her books up from her desk and shoving them in her
paisley shoulder bag.
“Wait, what?” Dean looked at her in confusion as he stood up from the cramped
desk.
“Go to lunch…? Cause the period’s over?” Caroline looked at him lightly, a
little crinkle in her nose.
“Oh. Yeah, right,” he gruffly replied, as if he had known that the entire time.
Straightening out his jacket, he followed the blonde out the door and through
the hallways. Truthfully, Dean had been thinking about using the lunch period
as his opportunity to skip out on the rest of the day, but he couldn’t seem to
deny the perky freshman walking just barely ahead of him, giving him the
perfect chance to watch the slight sway of her hips. He felt mesmerized by her.
It went beyond the typical lust he had felt for girls in the past. It was like
Dean needed to consume every part of her and learn everything about her.
He grimaced. God, he didn’t like this feeling at all. She was just some stupid
girl. A flighty, freshman girl. Why was he letting himself get so bent out of
shape?
She suddenly turned around to face him, almost causing Dean to walk right into
her. Her eyes were wide and nervous as she gestured to him, “You totally don’t
have to sit with me and my friends if you don’t want to. I mean, I just assumed
that since it was your first day you wouldn’t know where to go. But you
could’ve met some other friends already! That’s fine! I mean, it’s fine, you
can sit where ever you want! You-”
“Caroline!” he warmly interrupted her, reaching his hand out to capture her
wrist in a light caress. The immediate sparks that flew through his fingers at
the light touch was enough to make him groan. Her skin was warm and soft under
his fingertips, and he had to physically stop himself from running his thumb
over her erratically pounding pulse point. He tore his eyes away from their
intertwined hands to look up into her clear blue eyes. She had fallen silent
and her pink bow lips were slightly parted. As if he’d taken her breath away.
“It’s okay. I want to sit with you.”
That wasn’t exactly what he had intended on saying, but what the hell. He
wasn’t exactly thinking with his brain right now.
“Really?” Caroline’s face lit up into a bright grin, the kind that made his
heart hurt just a little. He hoped that nothing would ever ruin that beautiful
smile of hers. “Dean, I mean, wow!”
“Yeah, well, it’s really not a big deal, okay,” he shrugged off her excitement.
He didn’t want this to be a thing. So he was going to eat lunch with her and
her little freshman friends. No big deal.
Although he knew that wasn’t really the case. When was the last time he ever
willingly did something he didn’t want to do just to please somebody else? …who
wasn’t Sammy?
“Well, if you’re going to sit with us, then you have to know about my friends,”
Caroline gestured broadly with her hands as if her whole body was radiating her
words. She quickly twirled on her heels to continue toward the cafeteria,
simply assuming Dean was right behind her. And he was, of course. “Bonnie and
Elena are my two best friends ever. They’re both on cheerleading with me.
You’ll like them. Bonnie’s really chill and sarcastic, and Elena’s super nice
and funny. Her boyfriend, Matt, is the captain of the fresh/soph football team,
which is a pretty big deal. They’re totally sweethearts together. Oh, and Tyler
is Matt’s best friend. He’s on the football team, too. He’s kind of an asshole,
but I’ve known him since forever….”
As Caroline continued to lecture him on the social dynamics of the cafeteria,
he slowly stopped listening so much as he watched her hips sway and her curls
bounce. And, God, he just couldn’t help but look at her.
                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He couldn’t help but look at her as they walked along the bustling sidewalk,
slowly sipping at their iced coffees. They were caught up in a companionable
silence, both thinking about how much had changed but had also stayed exactly
the same. Her brilliant blonde hair still bounced across her shoulders. She
still wore those stupid, flouncy skirts. And she still loved to talk a mile a
minute.
But Dean was starting to notice now how Caroline’s eyes, although the same
brilliant pale blue, did not sparkle quite like they used to. He didn’t know
how he didn’t see it before. Caroline had always seemed pretty transparent with
her feelings. He supposed that was something else that must have changed as
well.
It tortured him and twisted his insides into knots to think that something (or
someone) must have done that to her. Something terrible must have happened to
take away her light and put up walls around her heart. He had the flashing
thought that he could have protected her - that he shouldn’t have left her.
It was an irrational thought, of course. He knew that at the time leaving
wasn’t his choice. It was out of his control. He had an obligation to his Dad
and to Sam and to the whole freakin’ world. Hunt demons.
“So how are Bonnie and Elena?” he broke the silence, his eyes going back to
travel her slight frame once more. He had been wondering if he would see the
two brunettes while he was in town. While he didn’t hold quite the same level
of affection for them as he did for the girl in front of him, Dean still hoped
they were doing well.
“They’re good,” she took another slurp of her mocha before continuing on.
“Bonnie’s been MIA since school let out. Apparently she’s visiting her mom, so
I’m sure she’s having a nice time. And Elena’s been ensconced with her new
boyfriend for the past month, so I’m sure she’s quite satisfied.”
He laughed a deep, hearty laugh at her little eye roll and scrunched nose. “The
last I heard, Elena was dating Matt…?”
“Oh God, no. They’ve been over for years. I mean, we’re all still really good
friends, but they both changed too much,” Caroline stated, almost
diplomatically, as if she was trying to find the most general way of phrasing
her words. He idly wondered why she wouldn’t go into any details with him. “Now
she’s with Damon.”
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“…And you hate him,” he surmised, letting out another loud chuckle. She huffed,
crossing her arms tightly across her chest. She didn’t want to be that
transparent, but she couldn’t help the disdain that came through in her voice
whenever she talked about the elder Salvatore. It was kind of involuntary.
“I don’t…hate him,” she exhaled, her body visibly hunching as she played with
the strap of her bag. “I just think he’s not a good person. I don’t know, we
didn’t get off to the best start. It’s complicated,” her voice tight and
succinct. She wished Dean would just drop it, even though she knew she was
merely spouting out unconvincing clichés.
Dean’s eyes narrowed, and she could practically feel him staring right into her
to get to the truth. His whole body seemed to tense up, his hands flexing at
his sides. “Care, did this guy hurt you?” his voice hesitant with a hint of
underlying malice.
‘Why couldn’t he just let it go?’ she internally groaned in frustration. She
didn’t want to drag this up again. Although she knew it was her fault for
bringing it…him up in the first place.
It didn’t matter that what happened was years ago or that she consciously knew
how much Damon had changed for the better since he arrived in town. She just
couldn’t shake it. He had played with her. He had abused her. He had hurt her.
And she wouldn’t ever be able to let it go. She refused to let him off the hook
for that.
“It’s okay, Dean. Relax,” she grabbed onto his arm to soothe him, trying to
push down the rapid feelings that came with his warm skin under hers. She idly
focused on how funny it was that she needed to make him feel better right now.
But he didn’t have to worry for her anymore. She was stronger now. She could
fight her own battles and slay her own dragons. She didn’t need a white knight
to come save her anymore. “I don’t want you to do anything stupid, like kill
him or something.”
She immediately realized her slip as soon as the words left her mouth. She
pursed her lips together, willing them to disappear.
“I wouldn’t kill him, Care. Jesus,” he raked his hand roughly through his hair.
“Even though he definitely deserves it. Even though I really want to right now.
But, God, I don’t kill people.”
I don’t kill people, he said. Completely unconsciously making that distinction
aloud. No, he didn’t kill people. He killed monsters. The things that go bump
in the night. Things like her. An icy shiver traveled up her spine.
She let go of his arm slowly, taking a small step back. Even though Caroline
knew what Dean was, had known for quite some time in fact, this was the first
moment that she fully realized he was dangerous. That he could kill her. It
scared her to think about.
Dean noticed her retreat and cocked his head to the side with a frown. “Hey,
what’s up? Are you okay?”
She fumbled her hands slightly, anxiety pulsing through her. After a moment she
tilted her chin up in false confidence and put on her best brave face. “I know
you don’t kill people, but that doesn’t mean you’re not a killer.”
“What?!”
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What--?” she cried, as Caroline suddenly felt a hand wrap around her wrist and
pull her out of the school hallway. She stumbled, trying to gain her balance in
the completely dark room. For a moment she was frightened until she felt his
large hands wrap around her hips and she exhaled. “Dean!”
They had been ‘dating’ for almost two months now, and she still couldn’t get
used to him. He was tough and sarcastic, charming and charismatic. Whenever she
was around him, she thought she would burst into flames if he didn’t touch her.
She knew he was still keeping her at a distance and that there were things he
just wouldn’t talk to her about, but she hoped that the longer they were
together the more he would be inclined to open up. Maybe even fall for her like
she’d already done for him. Cause, boy, had she fallen hard for him.
In the small, dark janitor’s closet, Caroline could feel his soft lips grazing
her ear as he leaned his whole body into her, his hips pressing into hers. “Do
you know how much I’ve wanted to do this since I saw you this morning?” He gave
her earlobe a sharp tug with his teeth, sending heated sensations all the way
down to her core.
‘They really shouldn’t be doing this,’ she thought. They only had eight minute
breaks between classes, and she definitely didn’t want to be late for American
History. But as he languidly moved his hands down her hips and under her short
denim skirt, she lost all forms of self-control and just gave into him.
“Fuck, Care,” he groaned moving one hand up to cup her pert ass. His words
muffled against the swell of her skin as he trailed open mouthed, hot kisses
down her jaw. Her hands came up to wrap around his neck, desperately trying to
pull him closer. Close enough to breathe him in, consume him.
“This fucking skirt,” he exhaled, as his other hand began to stroke the inside
of her thigh lightly. She was reeling; her breath was getting erratic and she
felt like exploding at every one of his touches. He was teasing her, and she
could barely take it anymore.
Coaxing the front of her shirt lower and lower, he pressed heated kisses onto
her chest and between her heaving breasts. He finally caught her nipple in
between his teeth and gave it a sharp tug, just as his palm pushed down on her
mound.
Caroline gasped and spasmed, grabbing onto Dean’s hair and giving it a sharp
pull. He growled almost inhumanly and quickly turned her around so her back was
pressed up tight to his chest, one arm looped around her waist. He lightly bit
the soft skin of her shoulder, just as he moved her already dripping panties to
the side.
Being completely in the dark coupled with Dean’s ministrations was
overwhelming, pushing Caroline farther and farther toward the edge. Her whole
body was tingling with anticipation. He finally pushed his finger deep inside
her, filling her up. She ground her body back into him to try and stay upright
just as he simultaneously used his thumb to push down on her swollen clit.
“Oh god!” She panted, unable to contain the cry that broke free from her lips
as she clawed her nails into his forearms. She could sense Dean’s dark, lustful
eyes on her, and it sent shivers across her skin.
“You’re going to do this with me, Care,” he murmured hotly to her as he pulled
his hand away from her heated flesh to take hold of one of her small hands and
position it under his own. He brought their twined fingers back down to her wet
folds and pushed both of them inside of her slowly, hitting just the right spot
to make her whole body seize.
As they furiously gained speed, working their way in and out of her together,
Caroline writhed and moaned out. She threw her head back to rest on his
shoulder, feeling Dean’s hot breath on her neck. Pinching her clit with his
other hand, Dean sent her straight over the edge as her orgasm ripped straight
through her body. He continued to push and tug at her clit, while his other
hand came up to try and muffle her passionate cries.
“That was amazing,” she whispered as she finally slumped against him, drained
and satisfied.
“You’re a little hellcat, you know?” he murmured in her ear as she felt him
smile against her temple. He quickly placed a kiss on top of her now sweaty
hair.
Caroline gave a little hum before slowly extracting herself from his arms and
turning to face him. “You’re not so bad yourself,” she grinned, one of her
small hands coming up to gently touch his cheek. “I was thinking we could do
something tonight? I could cook dinner or something?”
“ I have to stay with Sam,” he sighed, bringing her hand slowly away from his
face in favor of holding it with his own. “It’s not a good idea.”
“Well, I could come to your place? Bring dinner for the both of you?” her head
cocked slightly, her eyes soft and kind. “I know your dad’s always working, and
I just want to do something to help you out.”
“It’s not a good idea, Care. Okay? Just drop it,” he growled. She always knew
he was irritated when his voice dropped into that gravelly tone. She pursed her
lips into a tight smile.
“Fine, just think about it, okay? I’m just-” her sentiment was broken by the
loud clash of the bell ringing, signally classes had already started. Dean
swung open the door to the storage closet, the fluorescent lights from the
hallway momentarily blinding her.
“Just go to class, Caroline,” he shrugged flippantly over his shoulder before
turning and walking away. And leaving her behind without a second glance. She
stood there momentarily in shock.
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He stood there momentarily in shock as his eyes widened. What was that supposed
to mean? “What are you talking about, Caroline?” Dean shifted back and forth,
feeling suddenly very nervous.
“You don’t kill people, but you kill other things,” she murmured hesitantly,
her arms crossing protectively in front of her. “Vampires, werewolves, demons….
You’re a hunter, Dean.”
Damn, he really didn’t want her to find out about this. How the fuck did she
find out? He certainly would have remembered telling her. “How do you-? When
did you know?” he voiced slowly, cautiously, trying to stay as composed as he
could manage without giving anything away.
“I found out the day you left, Dean. That’s why I didn’t say goodbye. I was
freaked out and confused and, I don’t know!” she cried, exasperated. He nodded.
Finding out that all the monsters you believed in as a kid are actually real
and that your boyfriend kills them for a living is a lot to fucking handle.
Saying that she had a right to be freaked out was the understatement of the
year.
“I wish I would have been there, though. I really tried to be. I was just too
late,” she fumbled with her words, quickly stepping forward to grasp onto him
in reassurance. “It wasn’t that I didn’t care for you. I wasn’t even mad at
you, not really. I just wish you had felt like you could tell me for yourself.”
Dean looked back at her and saw the sincerity in her eyes. His heart melted at
that. He was afraid of her reaction, to be honest. Considering this was
Caroline Forbes, this could have gone a lot worse. Dean was actually shocked at
how well this was going. It seemed very unlike Caroline to be so accepting. He
briefly pictured screaming and crying. But there was none of that from her. She
was trying to reassure him of her feelings. She wanted him to know how genuine
they were.
Leaning forward, he cupped her face in his hands and placed the lightest of
kisses on her tender lips. After over three years, she still tasted like
strawberries and honey. It was the sweetest thing he’d ever tasted. He wanted
to kiss her all day. He wanted to spend the whole afternoon and well into the
night placing slow and lazy kisses all down her soft, pliant body. But they
couldn’t start that just yet. He let out a content sigh and gently pulled his
face back. Seeing the cute look on Caroline’s face - all wonderstruck and
gentle - made Dean smile and the skin around his green eyes crinkle.
“So if that was true and you’re not going to go crazy over the whole ‘hunter’
thing, why did you seem so scared to tell me? That you knew what I was?”
                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“It’s…it’s nothing. I just thought you’d be more upset, I guess,” Caroline
stammered, attempting to shrug nonchalantly. But at the same time, she was
trying so hard not to scream out, ‘because I was afraid you’d kill me!’
She had been so happy when Dean kissed her again. Finally after all these
years, to have their mouths melt together again was amazing. She had to resist
the urge touch her fingers to her tingling lips. But now she was slammed back
into reality where the guy she was making out with moments ago hated everything
she was and could more than possibly kill her.
It wasn’t necessarily about being simply hunter - she had adored Ric and Jeremy
after all - it was about how he viewed the world. It was how he grew up and how
hunting was in his blood. She knew he wouldn’t be okay with it if he found out
about her ‘situation.’ She knew Dean. He saw things too much in black and
white. Either you were human and good, or you were a monster. And monsters are
evil, no questions asked. She couldn’t tell him. No matter how much he cared
about her, she didn’t think that would stop him from doing what he thought was
right.
“Caroline, you’re a crappy liar,” he rolled his eyes at her, still not privy to
the intensity with which she needed to keep this secret. “I know there’s
something else going on. You can tell me.”
“It’s nothing, okay?!” she snapped, her voice going shrill in anxiety.
Dean turned to stand in front of her, his eyes narrowing in concern. Grabbing a
hold of her forearm, he quickly tugged her into the quiet alleyway off the
sidewalk and away from the bustle of town. “I’m serious, Caroline. You can tell
me,” he insisted upon her. “I promise I won’t judge you or freak out or
anything.”
Letting out a reluctant sigh, she pursed her lips. She felt caged in and she
hated it. She had to tell him something at this point, though. There wasn’t
much of a choice. “Well, there’s been some…supernatural occurrences here
lately.”
He immediately dropped her arm as his whole body tensed in agitation. In anger,
more like. “What? What kind of supernatural activity? Is there still any
danger?!”
“No, everything’s pretty much settled down, Dean. And vampires, mostly. Some
werewolves. Witches.” Caroline hunched her shoulders, refusing to look directly
at him. She knew if she even attempted to look Dean in the eyes, she would lose
her nerve. She would end up just vamp speeding away from him. She shouldn’t be
doing this in the first place. She’d already opened up a huge can of worms and
she knew she would end up just spilling more and more information.
Cause there was no way Dean would let this go. Yeah, this was definitely not
going to end well.
“Oh my god, all these supes in one town and we didn’t hear about it?” He
groaned to himself, haphazardly running his fingers through his short hair in
frustration. He seemed to pause for a moment before focusing his eyes back to
her. “Care, are you okay? Were you hurt at all?”
“Dean, I’m fine. You don’t have to worry,” she pressed a thin smile to her
lips, hoping to reassure him in some way. Trying to play off the last two years
of absolute hell as nothing he needed to be concerned with.
He released a small sigh, but still appeared tense and distressed. “I’m glad
you’re okay, but you didn’t answer me. Were you hurt?” She paused, biting her
lip nervously. Had she been hurt? She wanted to laugh; she wanted to cry. Where
could she even begin?
Her silence was a clear indication to Dean, making him take a quick step
forward and grasping her shoulders as if he intended to shake all the answers
out of her. His eyes were wild with worry, like he wanted to heal wounds that
had already scarred over. “Caroline, what hurt you? Who hurt you?” he demanded,
no room for evasions or distractions. “Was it werewolves? It was vampires,
wasn’t it?”
“A little of both, really. Vampires mostly. But that’s over now,” Caroline said
in a hard voice, trying to convince herself more than the man in front of her.
She would no longer be hurt and vulnerable. She wouldn’t be a victim anymore.
“Both?! Oh god, Care. I should have been here. I’m sorry. Those fucking vamps
aren’t still here, are they?” he steeled, a dark edge in his voice. She knew he
was itching for a fight. She could see it in how he subtly glanced to each side
to scan the area as his teeth clenched in frustration.
It was as if he didn’t notice the square of her shoulders and the tilt of her
jaw. He didn’t see that she didn’t need his protection anymore. Did he still
see her as frilly, girly Caroline? Did he still think she was shallow and
unthinking? She was once again reminded of how much she had changed and
appreciating her vampirism. It was dark and scary and uncontrollable at times,
but it gave her strength and courage. It’s who she was now.
God, they’ve become such different people.
Before she could pull herself from her thoughts to respond, she felt his hands
tighten on her arms. If she had been human, it most likely would have bruised.
She looked up into Dean’s eyes, wide like he had reached a horrible epiphany.
“That guy, Damon? He wasn’t a vampire, was he? Caroline?”
‘Oh shit,’ she mentally cursed. This couldn’t be happening. If he had figured
out Damon was a vampire, she would have to reveal herself if she was going to
make sure Dean didn’t kill him. Or get himself killed. Goddamnit! It was only
for the fact that Dean’s hands were still wrapped around her that she didn’t
speed right out of there. ‘This was not happening,’ she thought as tears
beginning to build in her eyes.
And of course, Dean immediately saw her tears and assumed they were for all the
wrong reasons. “Fuck, Caroline. I’ll kill him,” he growled, releasing her arms
quickly.
“You can’t!” she cried, “God, you just don’t understand.”
“Are you kidding me? Yes I can! If you don’t remember from five minutes ago,
this is kind of my thing,” he allowed himself a wry twist of his lips like he
wanted her to believe it was this fun joke, but knowing there was nothing
glamorous or fun about it.
“You can’t, okay? …Stefan will kill you if you do,” she sighed. Caroline really
didn’t want to bring Stefan into it, but she knew he would be anyway if she
couldn’t get Dean to back down. And it wouldn’t just be Stefan, but Elena,
Bonnie, Jeremy, herself. Shit.
“Who’s Stefan? Another vamp?”
“Damon’s brother.”
“You’re telling me there have been two vampire brothers terrorizing this town
for, what, years? Great,” Dean snarked. At this point, Caroline could only
imagine what Dean was thinking. She sighed. She knew this seemed really bad,
and it was only going to get worse.
“It’s not like that at all. They weren’t-”
“What about Elena, Caroline? Does she know what her boyfriend is? She’s in
danger right now!”
She scoffed. She knew it was unreasonable for her to be, but she was beginning
to get irritated with him. He wasn’t listening to her or paying attention to
what she was saying. He needed to stop freaking out right now because she was
losing patience and control. “Considering she’s a vampire too, I’m pretty sure
Elena knows,” Caroline deadpanned.
“What-?” Caroline suddenly had her hands on his chest, pushing him roughly into
the brick wall.
“Stop! Just stop!” she screamed, her fangs clicking out as pushed her palms
further into his flesh.
It took a moment, but her breathing settled and she immediately realized what
she had just done. Dean’s face was wide in sheer horror and revulsion. She
shifted her face back quickly, her hands coming up to cover her mouth in shock,
as she stepped back from him in complete terror.
“Dean-” she started and then stopped, not even knowing where to begin. “Please
just let me explain!”
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Please just let me explain, Caroline,” he sighed, pulling the phone away from
his ear for a second to look around and make sure Sam was still standing near
the steps. “I know I was being a dick, and I’m sorry. There’s just so much you
don’t understand.”
Dean ran a hand through his short, spiky hair and sighed. He had tried so hard
to push Caroline away the past few months, but it had proven so much more
difficult than he thought. She was sweet and attentive and persistent. She
asked if he needed help with his homework. She offered to cook dinners for him
and Sam. She justcared.
It was something Dean wasn’t used to. He didn’t really have girlfriends or
relationships or whatever. Aside from his family, nobody had ever just been
there for him before.
“I know that’s a shitty excuse and it’s not nearly enough, but it’s the best I
can do right now. Just please believe that I was trying to do what I thought
was the best thing. I just wanted you to be safe, Caroline. And happy,” he
pursed his lips together, picturing her beautiful smile and how her hair shook
whenever she laughed. Yeah, he thinks he did the right thing.
Telling Caroline about his family, what they do and how they are, would just be
disastrous. He didn’t want to darken her life by letting her know about all the
monsters that are actually out there in the world. All the things that could
hurt her or ….
He hated to think about it. He wanted...needed Caroline to stay safe and
innocent for as long as possible. And he knew if he tried to bring her into
this world everything would change. She would change. Instead of laughing at
bad jokes and crying during sad movies and meticulously planning out her
wardrobes, she would be constantly obsessing over his safety and worrying that
something bad would happen. Dean didn’t want her to be afraid, regardless of
the fact that he would protect her. She deserved better than the constant fear
of the supernatural.
He saw his dad pull up in front of Mystic Falls High and knew he had to quickly
wrap it up. John would begin to get impatient if they couldn’t get on the road
soon.
“God, Care. I have to go. My dad finished his job here, and he’s pulling us out
of school. He’s already here, actually. I’m sorry. I really don’t want to say
goodbye to you, especially like this,” his voice broke. He paused, hoping to
find the right words to say. But there weren’t any right words. Caroline was
mad at him and most likely wouldn’t check her voicemail until he was long gone.
“But I have to. So take care, okay? I’ll see you around.”
He quickly hung up the phone to stop himself from saying too much, telling her
how much he cared about her. It would only make it harder for the both of them.
Quick and painless, that was for the best.
He threw his phone in his backpack and stood up, throwing it over his shoulder.
Making his way over to his dad’s Impala, he slid into the backseat next to
Sammy. He answered all of their perfunctory questions about school, but he
wasn’t focused on anything but the building that was fleetingly leaving his
view in the back window and the girl inside of it that had held so many of his
hopes in the tiny palms of her hands.
God, he should have told her.
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She shouldn’t have told him, Dean thought fleetingly. Or showed him, rather.
It’s a ridiculous notion considering he knew he basically pried and dug and
pulled it right out of her. But he wished he didn’t know. He wished he could
have just gone along with his rose-tinted glasses on and been blissfully
unaware.
Because now he could barely fucking look at her. He’s disgusted. With her, and
himself, and this whole fucking town. A town full of vampires? Really? It’s
like one of those bad gorefest movies that only play late at night on Cinemax.
And the absolute worst part was that he still wanted her. In fact, he had
wanted her even more today than he ever had. Because she was still the same
beautiful Caroline, but more. More strength, more depth, more resilience, more
of everything.
It was like being turned into a monster somehow made her a better person.
“Dean, please,” Caroline begged. She was crying at this point, taking his
silent revulsion as a bad sign. Which he supposed it was, in a way. “Please
just give me a chance to explain.”
“Explain what, Caroline?” She didn’t get to be Care anymore, not to him.
“There’s nothing to explain. I’m a hunter. And you’re a …vampire.”
He could barely spit out the word, it was such a deeply ingrained abomination
to him. Ever since he was little, vampires were monsters. They killed people,
tore them apart with no regard to their lives or their families and futures.
They were meant to be killed before they killed you. End of story.
And yet, Dean found himself in uncharted territory with Caroline. She hadn’t
displayed any violence with him up until that moment. She wasn’t feasting on
any of the townspeople. She had just been laughing with him and drinking her
coffee most of the afternoon.
He knew he was supposed to kill her, needed to kill her, but he couldn’t make
himself understand why at the moment.
“It’s not that simple, Dean,” she begged, trying to clarify the best she could.
“There’s so much you don’t understand.”
And she was right. It wasn’t simple. And that made him so damn angry. Why did
this have to be complicated? Why was this situation so much different than any
other time he’d killed a vampire?
He let out a low growl. But it was different because this was Caroline. The
Caroline he studied with and ate his lunch with every day and gave rides home
from cheerleading practice, and God, hooked up with in the janitor’s closet. He
cared about her from day one, and it was coming back to bite him in the ass.
Hard.
“What’s there to understand, Caroline? You’re a vampire!” he whipped his head
around at her, throwing his internal anger directly at the blonde. “How long
have you and your buddies been terrorizing this town?”
“That’s not how it is at all!” she cried exasperatedly, gesturing widely with
her hands.
“God, these are innocent people! Do you really think they deserve living in a
town overrun by supes?” Dean forced himself to think. There were people -
innocent humans - in this town, and it was his job to protect them. They were
more important than this supernatural girl in front of him or her vamp friends,
and most especially they were more important than his conflicted feelings. He
had to get his act together and straighten out his head.
“You think these people are innocent?” Caroline wiped away the last remnants of
her tears to make way for the dark fury bubbling to the surface. “They’ve shot
and tortured me! All of us! They blew up the town council! They’ve done
terrible things!”
“Okay, so maybe they’re not that innocent,” Dean acquiesced, his tone getting
frighteningly quiet as he finally asked the question he dreaded knowing the
answer to. “But neither are you. Have you killed anyone yet, Caroline? How
many?”
“Dean, that’s not fair,” she practically growled, her stern tone contrasting
with her wide, fearful eyes.
“Have you?” he demanded. “It’s a simple question.”
He wasn’t sure why he was pushing the issue; he knew he wouldn’t like what he
heard. But in that moment, he needed to know. He needed her to confirm his
worst fears and destroy that image of a young, sweet Caroline in his head. Dean
prayed that when her humanity was shattered beyond repair in front of him, he
could finally see her as the monster she was and not the beautiful girl he’d
always known.
“Yes!” she all but hissed. “Thirteen, okay?”
“Thirteen?!” he resumed his frantic pacing, flexing his fingers in and out. He
was expecting this, wanted this, but it punched him right in the gut. Thirteen
people. How could she have killed thirteen people? It was unimaginable to him.
He groaned aloud. “Oh my god, I should stake you right now!”
“Well, twelve of them were witches trying to sacrifice Bonnie!” she argued for
the life of her best friend. It was ridiculous; he should believe twelve people
were more important than one. It was simple math. But at the same time, he knew
he would do the exact same thing for someone he loved. If it was Sam in that
position…
It was absolutely infuriating to think that something as vicious and cold-
blooded as death could be excused, and even justified to him. Especially right
at the time when he needed to believe in that cruelty and evil and violence the
most. He needed it to fuel his rage and vindication so badly, so he could
finally just do his job. Except now, all he could muster was understanding.
“…And the thirteenth?” She quieted, tempering her rage suddenly.
“I had just been turned,” she said, her tone low and measured with her arms
coming up to cross in front of herself. “I didn’t have any control yet. It was
an accident.”
“So all new vampires have a free pass because they don’t have control? That’s
your fucking excuse?”
“It’s not an excuse! I know what I did was wrong, Dean,” she snapped at him. “I
have to live with that guilt every single day.”
“That’s not enough!” he hissed back at her. “I don’t care that you feel guilty.
It doesn’t erase what you did. You’ve killed 13 people, Caroline! And I’d be
fucking crazy to think you won’t kill again!”
A silence immediately settled over them like a weight. Had he really just said
that? Had he accused her of being a murderer? He brought his hand up to rub his
eyes, hoping this was all some kind of grotesque nightmare. He wanted to go
back before this had all happened. He wanted to snap the words from the air and
push them back down his throat. He didn’t mean them. He knew he should, but
every fiber in his being was saying that he didn’t. Caroline was not a
murderer.
“You have no right,” she finally spoke in the deadliest of whispers. Her voice
was steely and hard and sharp like the tips of the fangs he knew were hidden in
her gums. “You have absolutely no right coming here and calling me a killer and
a monster! You don’t know what I’ve been through. You don’t know what these
vampires you hate so much have been through.”
Dean could already tell he had lit a ferociously angry match inside of her.
Caroline’s eyes were wild and furious, and she had her finger pointed at him
like he was suddenly the one on trial here. ‘He was only telling the truth!’ or
so he thought. Even if he could admit Caroline wasn’t a vicious serial killer,
there were at least three other unpredictable vamps in this town!
“Do you know how I was turned? By a psychotic vampire bitch who only did it to
prove a point. My dad died. I was tortured by werewolves and almost died. Tyler
got turned into a crazy werewolf-vampire hybrid by the most terrifying Original
vampire that’s ever existed, who he’s now on the run from. This is the same
Original that compelled Stefan to travel across the country massacring
villages. Bonnie’s mother got turned into a vampire and her grandmother died.
Damon’s been tortured multiple times and almost died from a werewolf bite not
once, but twice. Don’t even get me started on Elena and Jeremy. They’ve lost
every single one of their family members. Jeremy became a vampire hunter, died,
and then got brought back from the other side. Elena’s a doppelganger to the
same crazy vampire that turned us all, died in a ritual sacrifice, got brought
back to life through magic, then died again, and got turned into a vampire only
to be sired to her boyfriend!”
She ended her long tirade breathlessly huffing, her face etched into a terrible
frown. Dean couldn’t fathom what to say to respond to all the horrors he had
just heard. He had assumed his life had been pretty ugly up until now. Despite
the careless attitude he projected outwards, the snide quips and coy comments,
he had always been resentful of the life he had been given to lead. A hunter.
Battling with the world’s underbelly. Living off highways and road stops, never
sleeping in the same bed more than a week at a time. Never having long term
relationships. It was daunting. It was tiring. He felt much older and much more
cynical than he should be.
But Caroline? She had been through so much more in such a short amount of time.
He had been wondering earlier in the day what had caused such a shift in her
personality. This new mature, jaded Caroline. And now he knew it wasn’t
anything pretty. It came from darkness and danger at every corner. Seeing
people you love die and not being able to stop it. It came from excruciating
pain and cruelty.
“Umm, wow,” he looked down uncomfortably, shuffling his feet. “I didn’t know.”
“You didn’t ask,” she said simply, like all of this could have been avoided
with a little question. “I’m surprised you even care. I mean, you think we’re
all monsters, don’t you? That we deserve this?”
“No,” he spoke firmly and with conviction. Because for once, he was sure he
believed it. Caroline, her friends, they didn’t deserve all that they had been
through. “No, I don’t.”
“Please just let me explain everything. Even if you don’t understand, you and
Sam need to know about all the crazy things that have been happening in Mystic
Falls.” She took his hand hesitantly and looked at him with such conviction and
hope. He felt like he needed to trust her. And he needed to listen to her. He
needed to know.
                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She needed to know. ‘Damn Dean Winchester and his secrets!’ she thought to
herself as she searched Google anxiously. There had to be something here that
would tell her why he was being so weird and evasive.
Not letting her come to his place? Never meeting either of his parents? Being
standoffish and rude whenever she even asks about it? Ugh.
Caroline knew she had to wrap her search up fast because her free period was
almost over. Besides, she was already on page 14 of her search without much
success as it was. All she had come across so far is school directory listings
of Dean’s past schools (which was a lot) and other odds and ends sites that
referred to a completely different Dean Winchester than her boyfriend.
She was about to give up when she came across the Winchester name on a hunting
website.
John Winchester- active 1983 to present. Wife Mary deceased. Succeeded by sons
Dean and Sam Winchester.
Hunting? Caroline wrinkled her nose in distaste. Could Dean be hunting? Could
his dad? She supposed it made sense. The moving around from place to place to
follow game. Not telling her about it – because if she was being honest with
herself, hunting is gross and she wouldn’t have told her either. She went up to
the search bar once more to refine her search: Dean Winchester and hunting.
Maybe that would yield more results.
Clicking the first link to catch her attention, she gasped involuntarily.
Covering her face with her hand to conceal her shock from the other library
patrons, Caroline slowly raked her eyes over the text of the website in horror.
It couldn’t be true. The Winchesters. Monster hunters. Chasing after demons and
ghouls and ghosts. The people that made the things that go bump in the night
shiver in fear.
It didn’t make any sense! Monsters just don’t exist. They don’t! Some crazy
geek fanboy must have written this site. It must be a joke. …Except that it
made sense in a lot of ways. The evasiveness, the constant worry over her
safety, never wanting her at their place. It was a stretch, she admitted, but
there was a possibility. And even the thought of that freaked Caroline out
hugely. How could she even be considering this? Didn’t it go against everything
she had learned? Everything she believed?
She took a deep breath to calm herself and decided the only way she could
possibly get answers was to just ask. She had to talk to Dean. And she wouldn’t
take no for an answer. Nodding her head in determination, she picked up her
cell phone to dial his number.
She hesitated slightly upon already seeing a voicemail from Dean on her phone.
She shook herself out of it; he didn’t know what she was doing right now. It’s
not like he called to confront her about it. She rolled her eyes at her own
imagination and brought the phone up to her ear.
Listening to Dean’s voice coming through the receiver, her face slowly morphed
into a frown. ‘No,’ she thought. He couldn’t be leaving! She hurried to shut
down her monitor and toss her bag over her shoulder with the phone still
attached to her ear. She ran down the main hallway as fast as she could go
without alerting a hall monitor to her presence. She burst through the front
doors with such force she barely registered the slam they made behind her.
Caroline looked around frantically, her blonde hair whipping to and fro. But
the school parking lot was empty. He was gone.
                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“…And now he’s gone. He and Elijah moved to New Orleans to deal with some witch
troubles. And I’m sure when Matt and Rebekah get back from Europe, she’ll
probably join them.”
Caroline set down her cup of tea and lifted her eyes to meet Dean’s from across
the kitchen table. She had told him, in as much detail as she could, all the
events spanning the past two years. Originals, witches, vampires,
doppelgangers, werewolves, and hybrids. It was a lot to take in, and she was
certain if Dean wasn’t already aware of the supernatural world he would have
had some kind of panic attack by now.
“So…,” he hesitated briefly. “Is that finally all? I mean, how much more could
there be, right?”
Dean was trying to make light of things and play it off as a joke like he
always used to do, but she could tell he was freaked out. His shoulders were
tense, he was gripping his coffee mug so tightly she was afraid the porcelain
would shatter.
“That’s all,” she shrugged, a watery smile painted on her rosy lips.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here, Caroline. I should have been,” Dean looked at her
intently. His deep green eyes trying to convey his sincerity. “It’s my job,
after all.”
“It’s okay. We all made it through, didn’t we?” she tilted her head at him.
Caroline didn’t know what else there was to say. She felt like now that she had
told her story, there was nothing more to do. She knew her and Dean would never
be the same again. They could never repair their relationship to how it once
was. Even though he had been able to understand what she’d been through, he
would never be able to fully understand her and accept who and what she was. So
where did they go from here?
“Yeah, you did,” he nodded proudly, a little smile quirking at the side of his
lips. “You know you can always call me for this stuff though, right?”
“Of course,” Caroline replied warmly. She rose from her chair and picked up
their glasses from the table, idly taking them to the sink to be rinsed and
cleaned. Everything was silent except for the running of the faucet as the two
failed to find any words to say.
Minutes later when the dishes were done and drying in the draining rack,
Caroline wiped her hands gently on a towel and turned toward the hunter. “So
what time do you have to leave by?” she asked tiredly. Because he was leaving
soon, she was sure. It was an inevitability.
Dean got up from his seat to stand next to her by the counter. “Soon. Probably
by tomorrow morning at the latest,” he stated matter-of-factly.
“Okay,” she nodded to herself, trying to process that they didn’t have much
time together left. It was already getting to be late in the day. She swallowed
roughly. How could she begin to tell him how much he meant to her? Still did
mean to her?
He had been such an important role in her life when she was just growing into
herself. He had been fun and sexy and amazing to hang out with. He had shown
her what it meant to be independent and strong. He had been her first real
boyfriend. He always tried to protect her from all of this. He had wanted
better for her, she knew. And she loved him for that. But despite his
upbringing and background, he was also able to see beneath her fearsome
exterior to the young girl beneath and respect her for her newfound strength
and poise. And she loved him even more for that, too.
Overwhelmed with affection, she gently extended her hands out to settle on his
shoulders and drew her body close to his. Her head hung forward to rest
comfortably on Dean’s chest just as he let his arms wrap tightly around her
waist, pulling her even further into him. “This is it, isn’t it?” she whispered
into his body. “You’re not coming back.”
Dean leaned forward, placing a tender kiss on the crown of her head. “I’m gonna
miss you, Care,” he murmured slowly. “A lot. And I care about you so much. I’m
proud of you, you know? You’re brave and you’re strong and you can take care of
yourself. I just can’t come back. And I can’t stay here with you. I’m a hunter.
It goes against everything I am.”
She didn’t need any further explanations. She understood. In this crazy,
supernatural world, hunting is all Dean has ever known. It’s his whole life.
Being with her would essentially mean turning his back on his entire life. It
would mean giving up all his beliefs. Although she knew he accepted and loved
her, she wasn’t naïve enough to believe that that feeling extended to her other
supernatural comrades. She was simply an exception he was allowing himself to
make. She didn’t agree with Dean by a long shot, but she understood. She
wouldn’t make a hypocrite out of him.
Turning her head up slowly, their eyes met in a heated gaze. She couldn’t deny
it; after all this time and all their accumulated baggage standing between
them, that connection was still there. It still pulled her to him like an
invisible thread. She didn’t know if there would ever be a time in her now-
eternal life where she didn’t have that close affection for him. Where she
didn’t love him in some capacity.
She craned her neck up ever so lightly and brushed her lips gently over Dean’s.
She needed to be as close to him as possible in that moment. She wanted to take
advantage of this time they had to be together as completely as she could.
Caroline knew it would only make it hurt even more when he inevitably left her,
but she couldn’t afford to pass up the opportunity.
As she slowly pulled back from him, testing his reactions, she was quickly
pulled back by Dean as he cupped her cheek and pressed his lips more firmly to
hers. Unlike the first kiss, this one was not sweet and innocent. Dean was
molding his lips to hers demandingly as she pressed back just as hard. Fighting
for dominance, their kisses were at once both rough and passionate as well as
unhurried. They let themselves take their time and focus on each other’s
caresses.
Dean’s hand came up to grasp her golden locks tightly in his fingers as she bit
down roughly on his bottom lip. At his sharp intake of breath, Caroline quickly
swiping her tongue soothingly across it and inside his cavernous mouth. Their
tongues danced, coming together and pulling apart, in an elaborate one-two
step. There was a tightness in the pit of Caroline’s belly that was growing by
the minute at each sweep of his lips and brush of his fingers at the side of
her waist. She felt as if her skin was crawling with electricity and
threatening to set her on fire.
A husky growl escaped from Dean’s lips as she let her fingers snake underneath
his v neck, digging her nails into the folds of his muscles. “Bedroom,” she
hissed breathlessly as Dean peppered kisses down the side of her neck.
“Your mom?” he lifted his face from her collarbone minutely, running his
calloused hands over the peaks of her breasts and delighting in watching her
gasp at the contact.
“Working late!” she cried. “She won’t be home until the morning!”
With that, Dean bent down and picked Caroline up by the bottom of her thighs,
hoisting her up around his waist. She wrapped her legs tightly around him as he
slowly made his way into the front hall and up the stairs. Her heels dug into
his ass as his hands rode up on her thighs and under her skirt, hot on her bare
flesh.
By the time they had finished their slow maneuver up the staircase, Dean
pressed her up against the door frame of her bedroom and slid his hand up to
her panties, stroking her clit gently through the thin, wet fabric. She writhed
against the wood violently as he increased the pressure. “Bed,” she gasped
violently, her back arched and fists clenched tightly into the fabric of his
shirt.
Dean obliged more than readily, turning around and all but throwing her on the
bed. Climbing onto the bed to kneel above her, he made quick work in removing
the shirt she had been tearing at earlier. Her hands instantly came up to run
along his chest, feeling the hard muscles that had only become more and more
defined since the last time she had touched him like this years ago. The feel
of his hot skin radiated through her; Caroline’s stomached flipped and flopped
like a rollercoaster.
Reaching her hands around to his spine, she pulled him back down on top of her
and placed a languid, long kiss to his lips. They moved together sensually, his
body moving above hers as her back curled upward and her chest pushed into him.
She let her hands fall above her head to grip at her pillow as Dean worked
open-mouthed kisses down her chest and onto the swell of her breasts. He palmed
her breasts through the fabric of her shirt, the pressure only serving to
heighten her excitement. Pinching her nipples lightly with his thumb, she
spasmed suddenly, her knuckles going white against the sheets.
He was getting impatient; the more and more she moaned, the more times she
gasped his name and gripped his skin like a life preserver, the more she kissed
him with her intoxicatingly sweet lips, he just became closer and closer to
driving over the edge. He wanted her. He needed her. In an abrupt fit, he
yanked the bottom hem of her tank over her head and past her arms, throwing it
haphazardly onto the floor. Her pale pink bra was next as he pulled the straps
down her arms and reaching behind her to undo the clasp expertly, freeing her
pert breasts to him.
His mouth resumed its exploration down her chest, his large hands splayed
across her ribs. Taking his time and teasing her just so, he let his lips brush
gently against Caroline’s nipple. First blowing cool air across the peak and
then tugging gently with his teeth, eliciting a cry of pleasure. Giving the
same treatment to her other breast, Caroline was already feeling worked up and
overwhelmed and ready for pay back.
With a quick use of vamp speed, she flipped the two of them over so she was
straddling Dean. “My turn,” she purred coyly, the insides of her thighs
squeezing his hips gently. She bent down and placed torturously slow kisses
across his chest, working down from the edge of his collar bone down to his
hips. Her curly blonde locks trailed behind her, tickling his flesh and making
him squirm beneath her. Caroline looked up to lock eyes with him briefly, a
twinkle in her gaze, just before she popped the top button open on his jeans
and unzipping the fly. Hastily, she pulled down his pants and boxers at once,
springing free his arousal.
Her fingers wrapped around the length of him, giving a gentle stroke upward and
watching Dean’s face as he reacted to her touch. He inhaled sharply, squeezing
his eyes together in pleasure. She lowered her head to him and wrapped her warm
mouth around his cock as he let out a loud groan, reaching his hand out toward
her hair. She first gently licked the tip, feeling the hint of moisture already
gathering there. Then she let her tongue swirl around his shaft, paying special
attention to the sensitive area right underneath. Her fingers pressed gently at
his base, massaging the skin gently. “Jesus, Care,” Dean growled. His voice was
tight and strained like he could barely keep control of himself. “Where did you
learn this?”
“From you,” she couldn’t help but smirk before she finally took his cock fully
into her mouth, slowly working it in and out as far as she could go.
He was writhing around mercilessly; her ministrations causing the tension in
his torso to tighten – threatening to explode. “Care, I’m gonna-,” he gasped.
She tilted her head up to look at him, seeing his heavy-lidded eyes filled with
desire. Moving suddenly, he pulled her up to him and flipped them over, once
again regaining dominance. His cock was throbbing and ready; he looked at her
bright, wide eyes and flushed lips with uncertainty before quickly pushing up
her skirt and ripping off the thin fabric underneath. “Are you sure?’ he asked
one more time, as he held steady with his cock poised above her entrance. He
didn’t want to push her at all. He loved her and he had to know this was
definitely what she wanted.
Instead of a vocal response, she leant her head up and pressed her lips to his
own in a deep, affirming kiss. Their lips molded together cohesively as she
wrapped her legs around the small of his back, pulling his dick inside of her.
Starting slowly, Dean pushed himself into her halfway before pulling back and
thrusting in again fully. Buried inside her, he felt how somehow like nothing
else mattered. Feeling her warmth, her wetness, wrapped around him, it was as
if they had molded into one being. They were so lost in one another, so close
to forgetting all that there was out there except for their two locked gazes
and increasingly frenzied movements.
They moved together faster and faster; their raw need growing as they clawed at
the other’s chests, hips, legs. “Dean! Oh my god!” Caroline’s voice broke as
she felt the gnawing pressure deep in her belly get more and more intense.
“Come on, Care,” he grunted, rotating his hips at just the right angle to hit
that spot inside her he knew made her quiver.
He reached down between their sweaty bodies to pinch her clit, and combined
with the unrelenting thrusts into her g-spot, she felt herself explode. The
unbearable tightness inside of her suddenly uncoiled. Her fingers dug harshly
into Dean’s back, leaving crescent indents behind. Through her overwhelming
ecstasy, she felt Dean release inside of her. His muscles spasmed and released
under her grip.
Coming down from their high, Dean collapsed on top of her. Feeling spent and
sated and warm under wrapped in his arms, Caroline swiftly drifted off to sleep
listening to the gentle thrum of Dean’s heart beating.
                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dean slowly woke up to the faint glow of sunshine peeking through the creases
of the blinds. He squinted at the light and rubbed his eyes. Feeling a weight
on his left arm, he looked over slightly to see a massive head of curls buried
into his chest. A grin immediately spread across his face seeing the smooth
expanses of her skin pressed up against his. He traced his finger down her face
and marveling at how much younger and peaceful she looked in her sleep. Tucking
a wild strand of hair behind her ear, he thought he would be content to lay
there with her forever.
For a moment he almost reconsidered his decision. He could stay here. He could
be with her. Instead of leaving with Sam today, he could wake her up with soft
kisses down her stomach and spend a lazy Sunday with her in bed. He could make
her coffee and breakfast, sharing various sections of the newspaper. He wanted
it. He wanted it badly.
But he knew he couldn’t. He shook his head slightly to rid himself of his
fantasies. No matter how much he liked to think they might be able to work,
there was no way they could be together. He was a hunter, and she was a
vampire. He almost startled himself remembering. Laying like that with her, so
innocent and simple, it was like they forgot who they were and who they had
been for a brief moment in time. But it had to end. He let out a deep breath as
he disentangled his arm and slowly placed her head gently back on her pillow.
Swinging his legs around, he languidly placed his feet on the cold hardwood and
searched for his discarded boxer briefs around the room.
Hoping Mrs. Forbes was still asleep, Dean cracked open the door and crept
downstairs to grab his duffle bag by the front door as quickly as possible.
Returning back to Caroline’s room, he swiftly collected all his clothes from
last night off the floor, folded them, and placed them on the left side of his
bag. His dad and Sam had always bugged him about being such a neat packer. Sam
especially didn’t understand why Dean always felt like he had to continuously
unpack and fold and then refold and pack his clothes all over again when they
were travelling so much. But that was the point. Travelling so much, never
sleeping in the same place, Dean had to feel some semblance of belonging to
something. He liked handling his clothes and his small amount of possessions
because without a home, they were all he had that defined him.
Taking out some clean clothes from the other side of his bag, Dean dressed
quickly. After pulling on his green Henley, he looked back over at the bed
longingly. Caroline was still asleep, her face buried deeper into the pillow to
block the sun and her arm stretched out to where his body used to lay. He tried
to memorize each hair on her head, her tiny frown lines, every freckle on her
skin. Even if he wouldn’t allow himself to stay, he refused to forget her.
Sighing deeply, he idly wondered what Sam would think if he knew where his
brother had spent the night. Dean was sure he’d be just as baffled to hear
about her transition. Knowing Sammy, he would be much more concerned for him
then for Caroline. He would try to make him talk about it - to express his
feelings or some crap. Well, he was fine. He was. His ex-girlfriend that he was
in love with turned into an undead monster he had been trained to kill. But it
was okay because she had explained it to him, and he had understood and said it
was okay.
He ran his hand though his hair roughly, growing more agitated. Who did he
think he was kidding? Who was he trying to convince? His ex-girlfriend is a
vampire now, and he’s acting all hippie, free love about it? This wasn’t okay.
He was far from okay with this. He paced back and forth across Caroline’s room
tensely, curling and uncurling his fists.
Dean stopped in his tracks. What if Dad ever found out about this? He would
never understand. What did he always say?
They’re monsters, no exceptions. Don’t believe anything they say because all
they are is bloodthirsty and violent and deviant. They have no soul; they
aren’t good.
Dad would be so disappointed him. So furious.
He bit his lip as a thought came to him. Walking back toward his duffle, he
found the inside pocket and opened it up. Reaching inside, he felt around at
his secret stash of weapons. Small things that could be stored easily for those
sneak attacks you don’t see coming.
Slowly, hesitantly, Dean closed his fingers around what he had been looking
for. Pulling the small stake out of his bag, he did nothing but stare at it for
what felt like hours. He knew what he should do. What everyone expected him to
do. But could he really do it? He switched the piece of wood from hand to hand,
feeling its weight upon him. How could something so small be so deadly?
Letting it fall to his side, he walked over to the bed so that he was standing
right above her. Dean reached over with his other hand and brushed his fingers
gently up and down her arm. Her skin was cold; he wondered how he hadn’t
noticed that the day before. Although, to be fair he had been quite preoccupied
then. There was one part of him that wished Caroline would open up her ice blue
eyes so he could look into them once more, but then another, larger part of him
was incredibly thankful that she wasn’t awake to see him like this.
Dean slowly, carefully pushed down on her arm to roll her over, so she was
lying completely on her back. He rolled the stake once more in his fingers.
‘This was the right thing,’ he told himself firmly and repeatedly. He worked to
calm his erratically beating heart. This was what he was trained for. He had to
do his job. He had to do his familial duty.
He raised his arm, his hand shaking violently. He paused as a sharp noise
sounded in the room, which he realized was his own cry.
He took a deep breath once more, pulling together his resolve. The stake
hovered above Caroline’s heart. He knew what he had to do.
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She woke up alone – which may have been a bit disappointing, but far from
surprising. Sitting up and stretching out her arms, she looked over toward her
bedside table to see that she had slept through most of the morning. She also
realized after glancing around her room that he hadn’t even bothered to leave a
note. She pursed her lips together. Neither of them had ever been particularly
good with goodbyes.
So that was it, she supposed. There would be no more long rides in the Impala,
going nowhere in particular. No more messy, fun hook ups. No more of Dean
bringing her early morning coffee and bagels. No more Dean.
She understood their situation, why this had to be so. But it all felt so
final. Like a door in her life was now closed and locked forever. A small part
of her heart crumbled.
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He met Sammy at the Impala where it was still parked outside of the Grill.
Throwing his bag in the trunk, he made his way toward the passenger side and
tossed Sam the keys over the hood.
“What are you doing?” his brother asked, dumbfounded, as he stared at the keys
in his hand.
“You drive today,” he said, his voice unquestioning.
“Is this some kind of joke?” Sam cocked his head to the side as he looked at
his brother strangely. “You always drive, Dean. This car is like your baby.”
“Well, I just don’t feel like it today, okay Sam? Now shut up and get in the
car,” he ordered, opening the passenger door and settling in the seat.
Adjusting his seatbelt and opening his window, Dean refused to look in his
brother’s direction even after he heard him get into the driver’s seat beside
him.
“…Are you okay, Dean? Did something happen?” Sam finally asked hesitantly.
Finally turning toward him, Dean saw the cautious and worried expression on his
face. He pursed his lips together. “Look, I’ll tell you about, I will. But just
not right now. I can’t.”
“Okay,” Sam nodded slowly before starting the car and pulling away.
Away from the Grill, away from Mystic Falls, away from her.
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It wasn’t until two months later when Caroline was feverishly packing for
Whitmore that she found herself on her hands and knees searching under her bed.
She knew that she had lost a pair of nude pumps somewhere, and she was
determined to find them for sorority recruitment.
Her fingers grazed against something vaguely like a heel, and she pulled it out
from the dark depths with a triumphant look on her face. But when she took a
look at what she was actually holding in her hands, her smile dropped.
How could a stake have ended up under her bed? She knew it wasn’t Jeremy’s. It
didn’t have the intricate Hunter’s mark on it. And she didn’t think it could be
Alaric’s, either. She twirled it idly in her fingers as she sat there confused.
Suddenly, Caroline gasped as she caught sight of the initials carved into the
wood. But how..? It didn’t make sense. How could one of his stakes have ended
up here? Under her bed, seemingly kicked and abandoned…?
The implications of it sunk into her heavily as she fell to the floor. She
clutched the stake tightly to her chest as ugly sobs wracked through her whole
body.
End Notes
     a reupload from ff.net.
     - in case you were wondering, I took some liberties with the
     Winchesters' ages. I think it still makes sense, unless you think too
     hard about it.
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